The Gray Divorce Podcast: Recent Episodes
Andrew Hatherley
Welcome to The Gray Divorce Podcast. Join Divorce Financial Advisor and Retirement Planning Counsellor Andrew Hatherley and guest experts as they help late life divorcees build the financial foundation for a meaningful life after divorce. There is life after divorce!
In Episode 99, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Nicole Sodoma, founder of Sodoma Law and one of the Southeast's leading family law attorneys, to discuss one of the most overlooked risks during divorce: social media.
From vacation photos and new relationships to LinkedIn profiles, text messages, and even "likes," Nicole explains how your online activity can impact your credibility, increase litigation costs, and complicate negotiations.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Episode 98 explores the emotional and financial realities families face when a parent decides to remarry later in life. Why do adult children often react so strongly? How can parents protect both a new spouse and their children? And what estate planning strategies can prevent future conflict?
This episode provides practical guidance for families navigating second marriages, blended families, and the difficult—but essential—conversations that can preserve both relationships and legacies.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Gray divorce doesn't just divide assets—it often transfers decades of financial responsibility overnight.
In Episode 97, Andrew Hatherley shines a light on a growing issue facing women after divorce: the gap between the financial responsibility they're about to inherit and the financial confidence many have been given the opportunity to develop.
Andrew explores the coming Great Wealth Transfer, why women are uniquely impacted by longevity and divorce, and how financial coaching can help transform uncertainty into confidence. He also introduces a new coaching program designed to help women organize, stabilize, protect, and plan for their financial future.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
How do finances shape dating and relationships after gray divorce?
In Episode 95, Andrew Hatherley sits down with Dr. Lauren Harris, researcher and Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of New Hampshire, to explore how older adults approach love, money, independence, and remarriage later in life.
From prenups and inheritance concerns to caregiving and adult children, dating after 50 looks very different from our younger years and financial independence plays a big role.
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High-conflict divorce can feel endless, emotionally exhausting, and financially devastating, especially later in life.
In Episode 96, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Karen McMahon, high-conflict divorce strategist, to explore emotional regulation, post-traumatic growth, adult children, high-conflict personalities, and why healing—not just the legal settlement—is the true path to freedom after divorce.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Social media may seem harmless—but during divorce, it can quietly intensify conflict, damage relationships, and even impact legal outcomes.
In Episode 94, Andrew explores the hidden dangers of social media during divorce, particularly for those navigating gray divorce and later-life transitions. From emotional escalation and online comparison to privacy risks and legal consequences, Andrew explains why thoughtful digital behavior matters more than ever during one of life’s most stressful experiences.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
What if the key to a better divorce isn’t just hiring a lawyer—but building the right team from the start?
In Episode 93, Andrew Hatherley sits down with Melissa Murphy Pavone, (CDFA) to discuss how a proactive, team-based approach can help you navigate divorce more efficiently—and avoid costly mistakes.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Social Security decisions can mean the difference between financial security and costly mistakes—especially after divorce.
In Episode 92, Andrew Hatherley is joined by Regina Hess, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), CFP®, and founder of Forge Wealth Management, for a deep dive into how Social Security works in mid-to-late life divorce.
From eligibility rules and common misconceptions to real-life scenarios and survivor benefits, this episode breaks down what you need to know to maximize your benefits—and avoid leaving money on the table.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
How do global conflicts—like rising tensions with Iran—impact your investments, especially if you’re divorcing or nearing retirement?
In Episode 91, Andrew Hatherley breaks down what major geopolitical events really mean for financial markets and, more importantly, for people navigating gray divorce or entering retirement.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Divorce can feel like climbing a mountain—exhausting, uncertain, and sometimes overwhelming. But what if the view at the top offers strength, clarity, and a new beginning?
In Episode 90, Andrew Hatherley speaks with Oona Metz, therapist, writer, and author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. Drawing on 15 years of experience helping women navigate divorce, Oona explains how the emotional journey unfolds—and how the hardest chapters can ultimately lead to personal growth and transformation.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
What happens when gray divorce collides with a cancer diagnosis—and the response is laughter?
In Episode 88, Andrew Hatherley is joined by Greg Schwem, veteran stand-up comedian, corporate speaker, and author of Turning Gut Punches into Punchlines, for a candid, insightful, and often funny conversation about surviving—and growing—through life’s toughest disruptions.
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What if divorce didn’t have to mean courtroom battles, skyrocketing legal bills, and emotional devastation?
In Episode 88, Andrew Hatherley welcomes three members of the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota — family law attorney Janna Hefty, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Michelle Leisen, and marriage and family therapist Brian Burns — for an in-depth conversation about collaborative divorce and why it may be a better alternative to litigation.
With Divorce with Respect Week (March 1–8) bringing national attention to this approach, this episode explains how collaborative law works, who it’s for, and why education is the first step toward a better divorce.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
What happens when a divorce settlement looks perfect on paper—but falls apart at the mortgage desk?
In Episode 87, Andrew Hatherley welcomes back Tami Wollensak, Certified Divorce Lending Professional and mortgage industry veteran, to explore one of the most overlooked risks in gray divorce: real estate financing after settlement.
From mortgage assumptions and refinancing timelines to income qualification and retirement strategies, this episode reveals why planning before you sign a settlement agreement can save you from costly surprises later.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Sex and intimacy don’t disappear with age, but they do change. Andrew Hatherley welcomes JenMG, intimacy coach and educator, for a candid conversation about sex, desire, and connection in midlife and beyond.
From long-term marriages and sexless relationships to rediscovering pleasure after divorce, this episode explores how intimacy evolves with aging bodies, changing hormones, and deeper self-awareness, and how reclaiming it can transform life after gray divorce.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Why is January called “Divorce Month? Why do divorce filings spike in the new year?
Andrew explains that marriages don’t suddenly fail in January—rather, many couples postpone action until the holidays are over. Contributing factors include:
- A “holiday truce” to avoid disrupting family traditions
- Financial stress from travel, gifts, and year-end expenses
- Increased time together that can intensify existing tensions
To avoid a short-lived or poorly executed divorce strategy, he emphasizes the importance of education, preparation, and professional guidance rather than emotional urgency.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
In Episode 84, Andrew talks with Amanda Mason, founder of the Solagree, about the innovative new approach to divorce that replaces courtroom battles with cooperation, predictability, and peace of mind.
Amanda—an experienced family law attorney and creator of this groundbreaking process—shares how Solagree blends mediation, arbitration, and flat-fee transparency to help couples resolve their differences without ever stepping foot in court.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Would you help your ex if they needed you?
In Episode 83, Andrew chats with Elizabeth Verwey, author of Brave New Endings: True Stories of Caring for an Ex, to discuss how people show care for former partners through illness, aging, and life’s unexpected challenges.
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When Oprah Winfrey dedicates an episode of her podcast to Gray Divorce, people pay attention. In Episode 82, Andrew Hatherley shares his reflections on Oprah’s recent discussion, “Gray Divorce and Adult Children: The Fallout for the Family,” offering insight into what the episode got right—and what it overlooked.
From missing male voices to underexplored financial realities, Andrew breaks down the nuances of gray divorce that go beyond the television spotlight and into real life.
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How do you handle the holidays after a late-life divorce? In Episode 81 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley welcomes back Dr. Carol Hughes—renowned psychologist, mediator, and author of Home Will Never Be the Same Again—to discuss how individuals and families can navigate the emotional challenges of divorce during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other meaningful seasons.
This heartfelt conversation explores loneliness, boundaries, family traditions, and finding peace amidst change.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Equity compensation—like restricted stock units (RSUs) and stock options—can be one of the most confusing (and valuable) assets in a divorce. In Episode 80, Andrew welcomes Laurie Itkin, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and founder of The Options Lady, to demystify this complex topic.
Laurie shares how equity compensation works, what divorcing couples need to know about taxes, vesting, and division, and the biggest mistakes to avoid when stock-based pay enters the marital balance sheet.
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How do you start one of the hardest conversations of your life—the one where you tell your spouse you want a divorce?
In Episode 79, Andrew Hatherley speaks with family law attorney Alexandra Geczi, about the six steps to approaching this emotional and delicate moment with honesty, compassion, and clarity.
From emotional preparation to timing and communication, Alex shares insights on how to minimize conflict, foster understanding, and set the stage for an amicable separation.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Is political polarization just a national issue—or is it playing out in our marriages too? In Episode 78, Andrew Hatherley explores how today’s divisive political climate may be impacting relationships in later life. Through personal observations and expert insight, this episode asks: could our political obsessions be contributing to the rise in gray divorce?
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What if your financial plan didn’t start with your money, but with your life? In Episode 77, Andrew dives into the transformative power of life-centered financial planning, especially for those navigating the challenges of gray divorce. Discover how to prioritize purpose, relationships, and personal goals—without waiting for a “magic number” in your retirement account.
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Andrew is joined by Lori Hawkins, a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE™) and seasoned Realtor® who specializes in guiding divorcing couples through the emotionally charged process of selling the family home. With neutrality, clarity, and a client-centered approach, Lori ensures smoother transitions and smarter financial outcomes.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Life insurance is often misunderstood in the divorce process—especially in gray divorce. In Episode 75, Andrew breaks down how different types of life insurance play into divorce settlements, spousal support protection, and marital asset division. Whether you’re the one paying or receiving support, this episode will help you make smarter insurance decisions during divorce and beyond.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
Andrew is joined by Melissa Farag, a family law mediator, former divorce litigator, and host of the High Vibe Divorce podcast. A recovering litigator turned compassionate conflict-resolution guide, Melissa brings a transformative approach to divorce through insight-based mediation. She shares how curiosity, emotional intelligence, and a non-adversarial mindset can change not only the divorce process—but the life that follows it.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
In this episode, Andrew breaks down the complexities of annuities in divorce—one of the most misunderstood and often mishandled assets in marital separation. Whether you’re receiving or dividing annuities, understanding how they’re taxed, valued, and distributed is key to securing a fair financial settlement.
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Andrew is joined by Hirsch Serman, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, CPA, and trained mediator. Hirsch helps navigate the complex financial terrain of divorce with a values-based approach, empowering clients to take control of their financial future.
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In this solo episode, Andrew takes on the “F” word in divorce—and no, it’s not the one you think. While many professionals warn against using the word “fair,” Andrew digs deeper into another emotional force that holds even more power over midlife divorce: fear.
Drawing from personal experience, neuroscience, and psychological research, Andrew explores how fear can intensify as we age, how it impacts our decision-making during divorce, and what we can do to move through it with more clarity and control.
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Andrew is joined by Certified Divorce Coach® James Traub. James helps men (and women) navigate the divorce process with clarity, emotional resilience, and purpose—especially those in midlife facing the complex realities of separation, identity shifts, and life after marriage.
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In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew tackles one of the most emotional and financially complex aspects of late-life divorce, the fate of the family home. From affordability to emotional attachment to tax implications, this episode offers a deep dive into how to make thoughtful, informed decisions about selling or keeping the house after divorce.
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Andrew is joined by Certified life and mindset coach Nicole Comis. Nicole partners with her clients to break through unconscious patterns, strengthen their mindset, and build the clarity, confidence, and courage to go after what they truly want.
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Andrew chats with Lisa McCluskey, host of The Silver Divorce Podcast, who talks about her personal journey through divorce after retirement and how it inspired her to launch a platform to support others navigating mid-to-late life divorce.
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Andrew dives into the recent volatility we’ve seen in the stock market—and how that kind of financial uncertainty can affect those of you going through mid-late-life divorce. He also announces a drawing for a free copy of the new book Divorce Amicably: Your Roadmap to Resolution.
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How can horses help you get through divorce? Learn all about equine facilitated therapy in my chat with Kim Smith LMFT. We discuss examples of the incredible impact horses can have in treating emotional issues.
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Divorce represents a major life transition, and when it coincides with retirement, it presents unique challenges and opportunities. In this episode, Andrew sits down with life transitions coach Suzanne Campi to discuss how to navigate retirement successfully. With a background in psychology, Suzanne emphasizes the importance of a holistic approach to retirement that goes beyond financial planning.
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Tracy Ann Moore Grant, founder of the amicable divorce network, returns to the podcast to talk about the publication of her new book Divorce Amicably: Your Roadmap to Resolution.
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Divorce can be difficult enough in the simplest of situations. But imagine that you live overseas, and you've decided to get divorced. Imagine the added stress of dealing with divorce in a different culture with a different language and different laws.
This episode’s guest, Chloe Oudiz, is a divorce and separation coach who specializes in working with expatriate, international and cross-culturalcouples at all stages of the divorce or separation process.
Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!
In a special Valentine's Day episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew interviews nationally acclaimed dating coach Bela Gandhi. Bela discusses the work she does with gray divorcees, coaching them through the dating process.
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Do you know when to say no? Are you a people pleaser who would rather defer to someone else's wishes just to get along? In this episode Andrew talks to Tracy Gould Sheinin, a specialist on setting boundaries. Andrew and Tracy dig into the importance of setting boundaries before, during and after divorce.
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What can a small town called Ogimi on the north end of Okinawa in Japan teach us about living a happy life after gray divorce? What can a mountain village in Sardinia teach us about staying fit? In episode 59 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Divorce financial planner Andrew Hatherley examines 5 Blue Zone communities which seem to have found the secret of a long and happy life.
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In this episode Andrew discusses the inner workings of a mediation session with family law attorney Amber Robinson. Having served as a financial neutral mediator in several mediations with Amber and her clients and other attorneys and their clients, the discussion details what a mediation looks like from the introductory meeting to drawing up the settlement paperwork.
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Andrew chats with Kathleen Shack, a marriage and family therapist and divorce coach. They discuss the unique challenges of dealing with gray divorce and families over the holidays.
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In episode 56 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew discusses the role of the Divorce Chief Financial Officer (or Divorce CFO) in your divorce. While divorce may be a legal process, it’s really about money. Listen to the podcast and find out why it may be wise to hire a Divorce CFO before an attorney!
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Andrew chats with Jennifer Brown, a Certified Divorce Lending Professional. They discuss the various mortgage financing options available to divorcing couples, including potential mortgage assumptions.
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Andrew chats with Marianne Oehser, a Certified Retirement and Relationship Coach. They discuss the link between retirement and late life divorce and the danger that an unstructured, poorly planned retirement can have on a marriage.
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In Episode 53 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew discusses the effects of taxes on your divorce settlement. Failing to plan for the after-tax effect of your marital settlement agreement can result in you coming out with much less money than you thought!
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Andrew attends the 2024 Nevada Family Law Conference and provides some key takeaways to help your divorce case.
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Andrew chats with Shann Winesett, a family law attorney and experienced QDRO preparer. They discuss the importance of the QDRO in retirement plan division in divorce. They discuss common mistakes that are made in preparing QDROs and how to avoid potential financial grief in the future.
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Andrew celebrates the 50th episode of the podcast by reviewing your five favorite episodes. He also discusses the origins of the podcast In the hope that it might inspire listeners to get started on their own creative projects.
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In Episode 49 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew discusses the question of whether money can buy happiness. He discusses recent research that suggests a high degree of correlation between money and happiness. He discusses previous research which suggested limits to the correlation and tries to find some common ground.
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Andrew chats with Jennifer Allen, a business valuation specialist based in Las Vegas. They discuss the importance of business valuation in divorce. How do business buyouts work? What does she look for in business financials to detect attempts to undervalue the business? What happens when each party brings in their own business valuation expert?
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In episode 47 of The Gray Divorce Podcast Andrew chats with writer and international traveler Jeff Opdyke. Jeff went through a midlife divorce at age 50, after a 25-year marriage. Shortly after the divorce his life was shaken again when he lost his job. But Jeff is now flourishing. He's remarried, living overseas and writing professionally and creatively. His story is truly a testament to the fact that there is life after divorce.
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In Episode 46 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with Laurie Dyke, a Certified Public Accountant, Certified in Financial Forensics and Certified Fraud Examiner. They discuss some of the ways a spouse may hide cash or intentionally undervalue marital assets, such as a business, in divorce.
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In Episode 45 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew discusses the importance of practicing gratitude both during and after divorce. He discusses the psychological and physical benefits of gratitude and offers some tips on how to bring more gratitude into your life while going through or emerging from divorce.
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In Episode 44 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the legal costs of divorce. I look at four different divorce processes; traditional litigious divorce through the courts, Collaborative Divorce, mediation and the Amicable Divorce Network and discuss the financial costs of each.
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In Episode 43 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with the editor of International Living magazine Jennifer Stevens in the second of a two-part discussion. They discuss the results of International Living’s Global Retirement Index, an annual survey of the best countries in the world to retire.
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In Episode 42 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with Stepparenting Coach Maria Natapov. They discuss Maria’s focus on helping her clients confidently blend their families through all stages of life.
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In Episode 41 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with the editor of International Living magazine Jennifer Stevens in the first of a two-part discussion. They discuss some of the benefits of living internationally and some of the key concerns that people moving overseas may have.
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In Episode 40 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with Life and Health Coach Bob Wischer. A self-described “relationship engineer” Bob is the founder of Heart Forged Coaching and the host of the Men Becoming Better Men podcast.
They discuss Bob’s focus on coaching men after mid-late life divorce after he experienced his own mid-life divorce.
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In Episode 39 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew chats with Life, Health, and Divorce Coach Nanette Murphy. They discuss Nanette’s focus on coaching women through mid-late life divorce after she experienced her own mid-life divorce after decades of marriage.
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In Episode 38 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I chat with attorney Amanda Wedl. We discuss the topic of estate planning and gray divorce. What are some “must dos” and “must avoids” for older divorcees to ensure that their last wishes are fulfilled, whether they die after the divorce or even during the divorce.
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In Episode 37 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I chat with attorney Molly Rosenblum. We discuss the topic of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. What are they and why should a couple have a pre-nup before marriage or get a post-nup after marriage?
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In episode 36 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I am interviewed by Carol Lee Roberts, president of the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts. In our conversation, we talk about the role of the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst in divorce, and I share my experience working with older divorcing people.
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In Episode 35 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the impact of recent congressional legislation relating to retirement plans. The Secure Act 2.0 contains 92 new provisions which could affect the financial decisions of people getting divorced, both in the short run and the long run.
Download the checklist of the issues covered in the SECURE Act here.
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In Episode 34 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the two very important financial planning tools to help you before, during and after the divorce process, your budget and your net worth calculation.
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In Episode 33 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I chat with Certified Divorce Lending Professional John Drennen. We discuss the topic of reverse mortgages, an often misunderstood financing option for older homeowners.
You can download the Client Data File here.
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In Episode 32 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I am a guest on Real Talk Las Vegas, a YouTube program hosted by Las Vegas realtor Joe DiRaffaele. Joe and I talk about how the Gray Divorce and how The Gray Divorce Podcast came into being.
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In Episode 31 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I chat with Marriage and Family Therapist Linda Hershman. We discuss the subject of discernment counseling, a short-term counseling approach designed to deal with the question of whether you should stay in your marriage.
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In Episode 30 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the coaching tool known as The Wheel of Life. I review the tool, discuss how you might use it in your life and offer a few thoughts as to its efficacy.
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In Episode 29 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I discuss the Japanese concept of Ikigai, or meaning and purpose in one's life. I review the concept and offer some practical tips on how you might find some ikigai in your life.
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In this episode, I chat with Pet Custody Mediator Karis Nafte. Karis discusses the key issues that can arise in the process of deciding who keeps the pets in divorce. We also discuss the special situations of older adults and their pets.
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In this episode, I talk about the team approach to divorce. Attorneys specialize in the law. But divorce is about money and emotions are involved. Listen to why it makes sense to bring in other professionals to help you get through the process.
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In this episode, I chat with Attorney Philip Spradling. Philip discusses the problems that can arise when couples decide to divorce themselves without the assistance of an attorney. DIY divorce can be just as problematic as a long, drawn-out contentious divorce.
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In this episode, I chat with Brian Portnoy. Brian is one of the world's leading experts on the psychology of money. Our discussion focuses on his book The Geometry of Wealth. We discuss the important distinction between being rich and being wealthy and the role money plays in what Brian terms “funded contentment.”
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In this episode, I chat with “recovering” attorney and divorce coach Karen Covy. Karen talks about her dislike for the divorce system in the United States and how she transitioned to work as a divorce coach. Karen distinguishes between the work of a divorce coach and a therapist and encourages divorcing parties to a team approach to divorce.
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In episode 23 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I talk to Tami Wollensak, a Certified Divorce Lending Professional based in Chicago, Illinois. We discussed the important role of divorce mortgage planning in the divorce process and how a divorce mortgage professional can work with a family law attorney to help their client with future financing or refinancing needs.
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In Episode 22 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I look at our character strengths. Are we aware of what they are? And how can we use them to heal and thrive in the wake of mid-late life divorce? I discuss The VIA Survey of Character Strengths and how it can help gray divorcees move on with their lives.
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In Episode 21 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I ask the question “Do we really understand ourselves? You may be surprised at the answer. This podcast is the first of two parts. In part one, I discuss The Big 5 Personality Test and how it can help gray divorcees move on with their lives by taking that important first step of really coming to term terms with who we are.
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In Episode 20, I welcome Tracy Ann Moore-Grant, a family law attorney practicing in northern Georgia and the founder of the Amicable Divorce Network.
We discuss the Amicable Divorce Process, a non-adversarial approach to divorce, an alternative dispute resolution process designed to keep divorcing couples out of court.
By the way, I am a founding member of the Amicable Divorce Network in Nevada and a member in many states across the country.
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In this episode, I discuss the danger in using outdated economic statistics in discussing the economic consequences of divorce for men and women. If we are to improve the situation for women and men emerging from divorce, we should only start from an accurate understanding of the current environment.
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In this episode, I speak with Dara Marias, who oversees the Holistic Divorce Practice at Kainen Law Group in Las Vegas.
We discuss the three key areas of Dara's practice: holistic divorce education, divorce mediation, and amicable divorce representation.
We review the core concepts of holistic divorce education and how they can be incorporated into divorce mediation. We also discuss our respective roles in the Nevada Chapter of the Amicable Divorce Network. The ADN was founded in 2019 and is dedicated to helping people divorce in a low-conflict and cost-effective manner.
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In episode 17 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, I welcome back dating and love coach Maria Spears.
In the second part of our conversation about dating after gray divorce, we focus on the nuts and bolts of real-world dating once the recent divorcee has decided to take the plunge and enter the world of dating after divorce. We talk about online dating and the opportunities to meet people in the “real world."
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In this episode, I talk with Dr. Carol Hughes about a much-neglected subject in the gray divorce world: adult children of gray divorce. We discuss why the impact of gray divorce on adult children is often dismissed, the unique challenges adult children of divorce contend with, and things that older parents and adult children can do to make the transition easier.
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In this episode I speak to the founder of the Divorce Lending Association, Jody Bruns. We talk about divorce mortgage planning and the role a Certified Divorce Lending Professional can play in the divorce process. We pay special attention to options and strategies Gray divorcees have with lenders.
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In this episode, I discuss High Conflict Divorce with mediator Liz Merrill. We talk about recognizing high-conflict personalities and how to deal with them both as a mediator but also as a spouse. We break down the mediation process and discuss the overused term “narcissist.”
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Episode 13 of The Gray Divorce Podcast focuses on divorce after 65.
While many people realize that the divorce rate for people over the age of 50 has gone up over the past 30 years while the divorce rate has dropped for younger people, fewer realize that couples getting divorced after 65 are really the engine pulling the gray divorce train.
I look at the statistics for gray divorce over the last 50 years and discuss some of the implications for older adults getting divorced compared to younger married couples. A lot of the data in this podcast episode is drawn from research by Susan Brown and I-Fen Lin at Bowling Green State University and a report published by Pew Research Center written by Renee Stepler in 2017.
The StatisticsIn 1990 the percentage of all persons divorcing over the age of 50 was 8.7%.
By 2019 more than one in three or 36% of people getting divorced were aged 50 and older.
But something very interesting has happened from 2010 to the present. The overall gray divorce rate has flattened. In 2010 there were 10 people over age 50 divorcing out of 1000 married people but by 2019 it was still high, but it dropped a little bit to 9.6.
But if we strip out the middle-aged 50-64 group and look at only the age 65+ group we see that from 2010 to the present the divorce rate continued to increase from 4.8 per 1000 in 2010 to 5.6 per 1000 in 2019.
So, why is it that older Americans from 65 years of age up continue to see increased rates of divorce while for middle-aged and younger Americans the numbers are stagnant or dropping?
Baby boomers are to blameBrown and Lin note that distinctive marital patterns of Baby Boomers are marked by exceptionally high levels of divorce and remarriage which have led to elevated levels of gray divorce during the second half of life.
So, while the middle age group aged 50 to 64 was composed entirely of baby boomers in 2010, by 2019 much of this generation had aged into older adulthood, age 65 and older. Meanwhile, middle-aged people nowadays are starting to be replaced by members of Generation X. This suggests that the divorce rate for the middle age group may continue to stagnate while gray divorce for older adults who are now primarily baby boomers continues to grow.
Special Concerns of Divorce after 65Issues that are likely to be more prominent in a midlife divorce are likely to be even more exacerbated or take on a special character for a late-life divorce after age 65.
Let's look at life expectancy. The life expectancy for a woman who is now 65 is 86 years of age. And for a man, it's 83 years of age.
For financial advisors such as myself, this has a big implication for retirement planning.
There are also concerns with alimony, Social Security, health insurance, nursing care, and estate planning complications from death during the divorce process.
The psychological and social impact is important too.
- Men, unlike women, tend not to have deeper networks of support to carry them through life transitions.
- Men are more likely than women to fear complete abandonment by their adult children.
- Women often tend to be the social organizers in a marriage thus leaving the man without training in this particular social skill.
- Men, for a variety of reasons, find it more difficult to make friends with other men as easily as women make friends with other women.
In conclusion, the special conc
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In this episode, I speak with dating and love coach Maria Spears. Maria empowers her clients to date smarter and confidently choose a compatible life partner. Maria discusses what she has learned from studying dating and relationships and how she works with clients after experiencing mid-life divorce herself.
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In this episode I talk to David Smith, A CDFA in Panama City who specializes in Military Divorce.
Military Divorce is a different creature than civilian divorce and has a particular set of rules and regulations, as might befit the military!
David and I untangle the various rules and benefits that apply to couples in military divorce.
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Now you're divorced. You can relax. You can breathe easy. Dip your toes in the sand. OK, that's all good. But there's still work to do. Here are 17 items that need to be taken care of after your divorce to make sure your post-divorce financial planning is in order.
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In this episode we tackle the topic of lifestyle analysis in divorce. Lifestyle analysis is a useful tool for attorneys in cases where one party has a claim for spousal support. The lifestyle analysis establishes the standard of living of a couple in marriage. It's a very detailed look at the income and day-to-day expenses incurred during the marriage and looks closely at the spending habits of both parties.
A lifestyle analysis might be referred to as a budget on steroids. Typically, a lifestyle analysis is done in a high net worth divorce case. Discretionary expenses such as luxury travel, high end restaurants and private club memberships are typically tabulated in a lifestyle analysis.
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In this episode I am pleased to interview Retirement and Career Coach Amy Ginsburg.
Gray divorce often causes us to rethink retirement and what it means to us. We may have to work longer to recover from the financial impact of divorce. Or we may have to re-enter the workforce, which may cause stress for a number of reasons.
Amy and I discuss the distinction between therapy and coaching, personal growth through our work and the mental shifts we can make in retirement to thrive both emotionally and physically in our 60s, 70s and beyond.
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In this episode I offer an abridged version of my presentation: The 11 Things To Do Now in Divorce. This presentation is periodically presented at the Wiser Divorce Workshop that I host in Las Vegas. The workshop usually features me talking about the financial aspects of divorce, which are covered in this presentation, and a family law attorney dealing with the legal aspects of divorce.
Tipping my hat to my attorney friends, it's important for people going through divorce to seek good counsel and to know the law. But divorce is about family, emotions, and money.
And it could be the biggest financial transaction of your life.
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Andrew discusses why New Year's Resolutions usually fail and offers a different approach to resolutions for Gray Divorcees (or anyone who's emerging from divorce).
He offers three important resolutions for beginning a fulfilling post-divorce life.
Have a great 2023!
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Stay out of court! Joining The Gray Divorce Podcast today is Family Law Attorney Rebecca Miller. Rebecca and Andrew discuss alternatives to litigation in divorce. Specifically they focus on Mediation and Collaborative Law as methods to reduce the emotional and financial stress of the divorce process.
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There is life after divorce. It can be a better, richer, more rewarding life because we're given an opportunity to start again, to reexamine our lives and, frankly, to reflect on the fact that we're emerging from a situation that wasn't right for us. If you are emerging from Gray Divorce, you can't turn back the clock to who you were as a husband or a wife. You have an opportunity to create a new identity. You have the opportunity to grow. Think of the diamond forged under pressure or the pearl that emerges from an irritating grit. The good news is that the human capacity for resilience very strong. And you have the power to write a third act of growth in your personal story.
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Divorce Financial Analyst Andrew Hatherley discusses social security benefits and divorce. You might be able to claim benefits based on your ex-spouse's record. It pays to find out if you are eligible first. If so, what happens if you remarry, or your ex-spouse dies. Tune in to find out!
In this episode Andrew speaks with Life Coach Nicole Brodie about all things Gray Divorce. Why is it on the rise? What are the key issues for late-life divorcees? How does Gray Divorce differ for men and women?
Welcome to Episode #1 of The Gray Divorce Podcast! In this brief introduction, Divorce Financial Advisor and Retirement Planning Counsellor Andrew Hatherley introduces the subject of Gray Divorce and how this podcast hopes to help recently divorced gray divorcees build a meaningful life after divorce.