Why Will No One Date These Guys?: Recent Episodes
DateTheseGuys
Joel and Naomi get back together to continue discussing Intimate Matters. In this section we talk more about community regulation of vice, how "queer" behavior was punished but also strangely tolerated by early settlers, the "duty" of sex in relationhips, how 17th century Enlightenment ideas radically changed people's perspectives on individual happiness, and how prostitution filled a social vacuum left by wars and new settlement patterns during the same period. Joel also goes on a tear about "The Dawn of Everything," David Graeber's incredible book that covers, among other things, the role Native people's had on influencing European thought in the 17th and 18th centuries.
Find a copy of the book here.
Find a copy of The Dawn of Everything here.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi get together to discuss a unassuming book no one has ever heard of. Yes, we continue to make smart choices that expand our audience and move us closer to careers of full-time podcasting. Go us!
We discuss Intimate Matters, a 1988 book that does an incredible job breaking down the social, political, religious, and economic factors that heavily influenced relationships, family patterns, and sexual behavior throughout American history. In part 1 we go way back to early English colonists and talk about early Protestant ideas about sex, contrasts with Native peoples, how communities helped regulate sexual mores, and the practice of "bundling."
Find a copy of the book here.
All credit to Cole Porter for Anything Goes.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
It's been 10 months since we last dropped intimate deals of our lives and lessons we've learned about the world so we felt entitled to share some stuff. Well, actually we had another episode planned but Naomi shared a completely whackadoodle travel story that derailed
Joel and Naomi chat about NYC travel to see the Pickle Guys, Joel's new and amazing podcast ideas, Naomi's recent move, and Joel's intimate thoughts about weddings and why no one should ever hold one. Unrelated, but he's getting married soon.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Naomi and Joel get together to discuss more kink specifics including some of the kink created by different cultural periods, the kinkiest presidents, and how kink is talked about in media.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Naomi and Joel get together to discuss the basics of kink, everything ranging from BDSM to findom to the principles surrounding consent. We also come up with some good movie ideas. The AI companies are crashing and burning and hopefully Hollywood will come crawling back to us eventually.
Phoot credit to Anna Shevts on Pexels.com
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
In part 3 we wrap-up our discussion of the Straight State by discussing how military regulations of homosexual behavior in the early 20th century helped shaped queer culture for decades to come.
Find a copy of the book here.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
In part 2 of the Straight State we discuss the links between queerness and tramp lifestyles in the 1930's, how federal work programs like the FTP and the CCC helped shape public perception of queerness, and how backlash to and support of different forms of social assistance during this era was likely due to concerns about a lack of jobs making people gay. No, seriously.
Find a copy of the book here.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi get together to discuss more queer history with this book, a guide to how US government policy in the 19th and 20th century helped shape and reinforce ideas about queerness across America. In this part we discuss Joel's half-remembered recollection of Foucault's History of Sexuality and author Margot Canaday's in-depth discussion of queer immigration policy.
Find a copy of the book here.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi get together with Arizona State Senate candidate Lauren Kuby to talk about her upcoming race, some of her priorities if elected, her response to climate change threats, and the state of reproductive rights in Arizona. Oh and dating. We are a dating podcast, after all.
Find out more about Lauren's campaign on her website. Find her on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook as well.
Lauren wanted to draw some attention to AZ Hugs, a Tempe homeless non-profit currently being sued. You can find more about them here.
Lauren also wanted to suggest people consider signing up as paid pollworkers for the upcoming elections. Elections always need competent people to help fairly and accurately running voting locations and tabulation - find more information here.
Support the Show.
You may have seen some news making the rounds about a new study that claims to have objectively ranked all the US States according to how friendly they are for singles. We were skeptical of this claim and dug into the data – believe it or not, there are issues. Join us to discussing the importance of accurate variable weighing, checking the sources of one’s data, and covering up your classism a bit better. We also talk a little bit about what the uncritical coverage of this dreadful material says about the state of US media.
Joel has been podcasting for 3 years and occasionally drops the ball when it comes to podcast setup. The content is great but the audio was recorded on his laptop microphone, not the high-quality Blue Yeti stand-alone mike that you all have grown accustomed to.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi wrap up our discussion of this book by talking about the rise of dating apps, Joel's hot takes on Bridgerton, how queer culture was encouraged (and discouraged) by different groups, and the weird history/development of early internet-enabled sex toys. Joel also finds a way to squeeze in a rant about worker's rights. Go figure.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
In part 2 we continue to discuss Samantha Cole's amazing internet history. We dig into the emergence of images and some of the initial ethical issues involved in image sharing, how early virtual smut was shared prior to images, the sectioning-off of the early tech industry, major technological innovations pushed by the early adult industry, and how early adult websites sometimes found success and how that shaped the lives of the operators.
Find a copy of the book here at writer Samantha Cole's website.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi get together to discuss an amazing collection of essays exploring early internet history and how that shaped, reinforced, and sometimes changed the sexuality and love lives of the earliest users. We dig into the early "SEX" Operating Systems, talk about how early forums and chat rooms changed the lives of millions, dig into the earliest attempts at internal regulation of internet content, and wrap up with a abbreviated history of how government attempts at censorship yielded a legal compromise in the 1990's that still regulates the internet today.
Find a copy of the book here at writer Samantha Cole's website.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Jojo and NaO finish up the second part of More, digging into the juicy tidbits of the author's polyamorous relationships. Joel provides a bunch of feedback about how uncomfortable this makes him and how this whole thing seems like a weird combination of cashgrab/fetish thing/recontextualization of events/confession. One big problem with the podcast format is how poorly our quiet looks of confusion and awkward cringing translate to the audio - trust us, there was a lot of that this time.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi touch base for a third year in a row to pull our hair out, gloat about podcast successes around the world, talk about future plans, and catch up with Giselle, Rj, and Tazmin. If your favorite scene in Wizard of OZ was the one where they see the man behind the curtain, this is the episode for you.
All credit to Judy Collins for use of the "Send in the Clowns" backup music.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi get together to discuss the general culture around polyamory and More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Joel and Naomi catchup on how we're using our "twenty twenty door" mantra then get into a discussion about the wacky new stuff in the world of dating. We discuss TruBluu, a dating app for progressives, Volar, a dating app where AIs go on dates for you, the philosopher Zizek's musings on sex toys, the ever-rising cost of dating apps, the rise of dating app coaches, the return of in-person meetups, and the possibility that online dating can be just as effective randomly pairing people together compared to carefully selecting matches.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Man, it would be nice if we didn't have to do these, right? Like, if we could spend all of our time talking about new ice cream flavors or smutty novels or whatever. But sadly some legislators have decided to be real jerks about abortion stuff so we're back on the grindstone once more.
This episode we discuss Arizona's recent abortion ban and the history behind it, a rise in anti-birth control information around the country, and some small blips of hope in an otherwise gloomy time. Oh, and we bully Ben Shapiro a bit.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
Naomi and Joel talk about the rising tide of body image issues and some stuff that may or may not make people feel better about themselves.
Here's a gallery of what people of different body sizes look like.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the Show.
In this one we discuss the medical drama series The Resident, the trauma-bonding science fiction film Upstream Color, the polyamory memoir "More," the lesbian romance drama manga How Do We Relationship, the gangster/rich person drama The Gentlemen, the immigrant relationship drama Past Lives, the Meryl Streep romcom It's Complicated, the Spiderman fanfiction comic "Spider-Sense and Sensibility," the "Things We Never Got Over" series, the existential philosophy/multiverse theory film Mr Nobody, and (only as an honorable mention) the sketchy dating romcom No Hard Feelings.
The episode outro music is "Sous les draps" by Pierre von Dormael. The whole Mr Nobody soundtrack is pretty baller. So is the movie, except for the part where Jared Leto says "It's Nobody time" and nobodies all over the place.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the show
Wrapping up a book critique in only 2 sections? Wow, we're making great progress on our New Year's Resolutions.
In pt 2 of Art of Seduction we get into the actual text and find some uncomfortable stuff, ranging from Robert Greene misrepresenting his sources to his examples not supporting his arguments to his examples ignoring commonly-accepted historical details that run contrary to his assertions about the seductive capabilities of people like Cleopatra and JFK. Basically this book is garbage from every perspective. We also get into how the seduction advice this book gives is structured less to help normal people pick up dates and more to aid bad people exploit others. Hopefully not his intention but unfortunately an obvious conclusion.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the show
We're back on the media critique grindstone, kicking off the second quarter of the year with our takes on Robert Greene's Art of Seduction. It's bad, but it's also...weird...mixing together a pseudo-academic take on seduction through the ages with ramblings about how it can be applied to advertising and politics. It's also sold over a million copies, which is more success than we'll ever have, so what do we know?
Part 1 discusses the background of the book, Robert Greene's intro and reasons for writing, and then a bunch of our criticisms about the framing. Turns out relying on a bunch of myths and anecdotes isn't the best way to prepare a scholarly assessment of love through the ages. But then again, 1 million copies sold. What do we know?
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the show
Uh, not a great way to intro this one. We talk about genocide in Palestine, the atrocities being committed there, how major news media companies are complicit in war crimes based upon their skewed coverage, how Israeli actions will directly impact (and already are impacting) Americans fighting for abortion access/trans rights/everything else, and the stuff that keeps us going in the face of a world seemingly only getting worse. No, seriously, we have some hopeful stuff. We would not have done this episode without that.
We get it, there's a lot of doom and gloom in the world and you may already be aware of the stuff going on over there. You also might not listen to Joel's annoying voice reading summaries of war crimes for 15 minutes straight. If you want to skip to where we start talking about the lessons to take away for America, go to 35:38. If you want to skip to where Joel and Naomi talk about what is giving us hope and how to fight back, skip to 49:10
Here's a piece above passive voice used by media for the current conflict...and here's a piece from 2001 pointing out the exact same thing being done for Israel/Palestine issues.
Here's some information about oil deposits in Palestine. Here's some information on settler's developing Gazan real estate.
Here's the article "I don't know how you explain why you should care about other people."
Joel didn't fully explain the Emily's List/UDP connection. This article goes into more detail.
Instagram has started suppressing political content: Go to Settings, Suggested Content, and make sure to allow "Political Content" from all users if you want to see independent groups taking action.
Here are some charities to look at:
eSims for Gaza
Pious Projects
UNRWA
Palestine Heal
Here's some resources on starting a union:
UFCW guide
AFL-CIO guide
Wired has a decent guide to attending protests - dig deeper if you're interested:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Zencaster and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload.
Support the show
Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life.DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
Support the show
Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the second part of this podcast series, we continue to explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
Support the show
Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life.
Other books mentioned in this podcast episode:
Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Naomi/Len version - check out Ep150 for the Joel/Lauren takes.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
HealPalestine
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload them.
Support the show
For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Joel/Lauren version - check out Ep151 for the Naomi/Len takes.
Joel and Lauren discuss all the reasons this film works really well, ranging from tight writing to strong characters who aren't morally pure and perfect. We also talk a bit about the background of the film's development and what other writer's could learn from it as well as some miscellaneous trivia. This is a good romcom, fellas - give it a watch.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload them.
Support the show
We wrap up our favorite sex book of the year (so far at least, Joel hasn't read Emily Nagoski's Come Together quite yet...) with Vanessa's last few pieces of advice. We dig into sex menus, sexual personality types, exploration, the "first pancake" rule, and the "F First" principle, all incredibly useful pieces of advice to keep your sex life going strong or bring it back from the dead.
Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art.
Find a copy of a partner sex survey here.
All credit to Marvin Gaye for use of "Let's Get it On."
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
Support the show
In part two of Sex Talks we discuss how to have good conversations with your partner, how to start bringing more explicit topics with them, how to improve your mental and physical connection, and how to destigmatize touch in your relationships.
Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
Our podcast about sex, dating, and relationships finally gets around to discussing a book specifically about sex. None of this conversation is really explicit and the skills we discuss here are applicable in everyday life, but if you don't want to hear us make references to sex acts, maybe skip this one.
In part one we discuss how Joel was scammed into buying an AI-written or ripoff copy of the text prior to finding an actual copy, why talking about sex is hard, the factors that usually make relationship sex lives worse over time, and some strategies to begin diagnosing your understanding of sex expectations and what you want out of your sex life. Boy, we are going to use the word "sex" a lot when discussing this.
Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
This time we chose some questions that were less likely to lead to arguments and more likely to spur conversations about relationship conduct in weird situations. We chatter mindlessly about a few topics, ranging from working out with partners to demanding half your husband's company to breaking up with partners after cancer treatment to laughing at your husband when his demanded paternity test proves he's in fact the father. Boy, so many people are happy and well-adjusted in this day and age.
DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we'll send you some stuff in appreciation. Consider some of the following:
UN Relief and Works Agency - Desperately needs money since the US and several Western nations cut off funding.
Islamic Relief USA
World Food Program
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon when we remember to upload t
Support the show
We finally finish Steve Harvey's second awful relationship book, having learned far too much about his past and horrible parenting style in the process. We wrap up with his thoughts on nagging (or as he calls it, the "N-word"), some mixed advice on money in relationships, and his baffling list of commandments for men to keep their wife happy that, per him, no man would ever follow. Not amazing content, but maybe lightyears beyond the advice of his other books "Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success," or "Take a Leap of Faith to a Life of Abundance."
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi sit down to discuss their thoughts on the new Sydney Sweeney/Glen Powell romcom, a fairly good version of the "rich pretty people fall in love in a pretty place" subgenre. Very few spoilers in this one outside of some stuff concerning the ending: we're more interested in talking about the leads, how this film is helping to destroy the Australian economy, and some very weird writing stuff concerning the choices in the ending.
All credit to Universal for use of their trailer audio and poster.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Naomi and Joel meet to discuss how they improved in 2023 (and share a lot of good recipes in the process), develop a good relationship maxim to live by in 2024, and analyze the dating trends of 2023 and 2024. Joel and Naomi also make some predictions of their own for 2024, mostly negative stuff about politics and the future of AI-tech.
Crispy Korean Chickpeas
Mango Pie
Pear Sorbet
An Amazing Tomato Pie
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
In part 2 (we're sorry, there's a lot to discuss and our thoughts can't fit within the neat hourly format of a weekly podcast) we discuss some of the other plotlines in Love, Actually, including the HR-horrifying story of the PM and Natalie, sex pervert Colin and the foxy Wisconsin babes, the horribly miscast Alan Rickman and his hot secretary, sad Leslie Nielsen and his adorable son, and the nearly forgetable but also kinda tragic Laura Linney plot. We also wrap up by discussing the way this film treats women and portrays men, noting some of the not-so-awesome messages that both this film and the follow-up communicate. Again, not the worst thing in the world to watch, but boy, watch your media with a somewhat skeptical eye.
All credit to StudioCanal for use of their poster and Billy Mack's "Christmas is All Around."
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
People kept telling us to watch this cult classic holiday romcom. Not sure if that was because they thought we'd enjoy it or because we might have opinions on it. And oh boy, do we have opinions on this. Lest you call us long-winded, we're actually discussing two films in this two-parter, Love, Actually and Red Nose Day, Actually, the pseudo-sequel from 2017.
In this first part we discuss some of the reasons this film might have enduring popularity, the clever (or lazy) writing structure Richard Curtis employs, and the Colin Firth, Billy Mack, and Kiera Knightley plots. Joel also discusses his theory that this film is secretly winking at the audience over how obvious/lazy it is at times but Naomi refuses to buy his Adam Sandler-based proof.
All credit to StudioCanal for use of their poster.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Well Steve had a good week last time but he makes up for lost time by cranking the misogyny button back up to 10 in chapter 7-9. In this part we learn from Steve how women must always be well-dressed and sexy to attract Mr Right, how if men cheat it's probably because their wife wasn't dressed sexy enough, how men are insatiable lust machines who need to have sex all the time, and how if women put out they'll be just like a piece of used-up chewing gum that no one wants. No problematic notions here, nosireebob.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Yes, we know we're getting dangerously close to making 15 parts out of this like WWDL but we promise this will be wrapped up soon. Steve has a lot to say though and he throws us a curveball this time by, and this is shocking, actually offering some good relationship advice. Not great advice, and Joel still has plenty of bones to pick mind you, but good enough that we might feel comfortable recommending this over many other books we've discussed. Low bar, we know.
In chapters 4 and 5 Steve discusses first the shocking fact that sugar daddies might not be interested in long-term relationships and then gives women some pointers on what to do if they've been dating for awhile and their partner hasn't proposed or committed. There's plenty of misogyny but also some good rules of thumb and insight into what you can reasonably expect from a partner. Nothing ground-breaking but with Steve even sometimes even lame advice can feel like a breath of fresh air.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Except this one. Joel may have been picking his nose in this one. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Naomi runs some thorny AITA questions past Joel, who recorded this both recovering from a surgery, coming down from a head cold, and hopped up on Benadryl. He's mostly coherent, but if you're wondering why he goes weird places with the material
Naomi gave him...it was probably the narcotics. We talk about some fun stuff, ranging from girlfriends who don't like their partners showing up drunk to the ethics of liking sexy Instagram model photos, to spouses who break up because of climate change concerns.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We return to Steve, who's still doing his best to redeem his legacy, convince readers he's not full of it, and prove he's a great father. Unfortunately, he opens chapters 2 and 3 by talking about how he never talked to his daughter one-on-one until she was 13, so it's an uphill battle. Nonetheless.
Chapters 2 and 3 cover Steve's advice on dating men of different ages and his attempt to dispel some "myths" surrounding men's desire to date successful women. Not all of this advice is bad but there's ongoing themes once again of Steve presenting incredibly weak versions of arguments and claiming success when he's easily able to refute them, women needing to do all the work in a relationships, and Steve attempting to dismiss any bad behavior/toxic worldviews of men. A great redemption arc, for sure.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Thankfully for our podcast it turns out our long-running relationship-advice nemesis Brodrick published even more dating advice content after 2009. A pseudo-sequel to his "Act Like a Lady" book, Straight Talk is Steve's purported attempt to clarify some of his more controversial statements from that text and provide even more insight into the inner world of men. Unfortunately, our exploration of the first part found that these efforts only reveal how bad and inapplicable his first advice was, how his own life story contradicts key parts of his core beliefs, and how bad of a parent he is. This part also has the added bonus of Naomi having absolutely no idea what we'd be discussing and being bowled over by the audacity of her cohost to bring her back into Steve's orbit once more. Fun stuff.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi get together once more to talk about America's least depressing and/or controversial topic, abortion. We go over what the recent elections mean for abortion politics, where anti-abortion groups are headed next, and some of the dangers women are still facing before Joel launches into a completely unrelated bit meant entirely to distract from our bleak choice of topic. It's good, we promise.
Check out arizonaforabortionaccess.org to learn more about the ballot initiative trying to get abortion rights enshrined in AZ's constitution and how you can help.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. Yeah, we're still doing that. Genocide isn't going anyway anytime soon. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Look, we get it, we've spent so much freaking time on this and you just want us to move on and discuss more amusing anecdotes about AI dating apps telling people to kill the Queen of England (real thing that happened, check out our AI episode). But we think most people aren't going to spend 15 hours listening to our critiques so here's a abbreviated summary of what's in the book and why its wrong. Obviously we go into a lot more detail in the episodes about each specific chapter (and you get the benefit of listening to Naomi's horrified reactions in the moment), but if you want the quick and dirty of why this book sucks, this is the ep for you. Joel discusses the background of the book, the horrible arguments in each chapter, and the overall philosophical/political ideas that underlay the more obvious dating advice.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Except this one. No one wants to see Joel talking to himself for over an hour. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
It's over. We did it. We finished the book. We're lying completely exhausted on the side of Mount Doom like we've just thrown the Ring of Power into a volcano (which we guess we kind of did).
Join us as we discuss the convoluted and nonsensical finale to this book, a contradictory mess of random pseudo-philosophical musings that contradict nearly all of the major ideas discussed in prior chapters. Aaron didn't know how to wrap this one up so he kind of throws his entire philosophy at the wall but fails to provide any practical advice that readers can conclude on. We discuss why his platonic ideal of a man living his best life is a huge loser, why the Tinder Swindler story doesn't represent how all women approach dating, and why his assumption that all women will always break up with even the most successful men is not borne out by the data. We will do a follow-up episode where we attempt to summarize the whole text and provide some better dating advice than this drivel: not sure when it'll be out, but keep your eyes to the horizon. Joel is also trying to option his 200 page outline for these episodes as an HBO mini-series; let us know if you have any Hollywood connections.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Well, the tech bros have fizzled out on crypto and NFTs and finally stumbled onto a technology that actually impacts dating, generative AI. We get together to discuss what the technology is, how unethical its creation was (and continues to be), the emergence of easily-accessible deepfake technology, and all the cool new AI-apps that can improve your profile photos, give you awesome pickup lines, and support your plans to kill major world leaders. We also touch upon how laws to tackle these issues aren't always perfect, how the technology's abuse isn't easily regulated, and ways you can sorta prevent some of the worst abuses from happening to you. Fun stuff.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Chapter 7 is over. Done. Finished. Finito. It didn't go down without a fight though: Aaron felt the need to express some truly baffling non-sequitur opinions in his discussion of men freeing themselves from the yoke that is women, including the idea that Buddhism doesn't approve of any form of romantic desire, that if men stopped dating they could retire with $6.9 million in the bank (but only if you start investing at age 18 with $260k in the bank), and that women have literally created no part of western civilization. He also continues to not provide any tangible advice that might help people trying to find their way in the difficult world of dating but we're not sure if that's because he genuinely has nothing useful to say or because he just wanted to wrap up the book at this point. We didn't let any of this bs fly though: Joel and Naomi did our best to verbally smack him around a bit before we laid this chapter to rest, once and for all.
For the record, Joel was wrong about the San Francisco gender ratio but right about the Bible Belt.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We're going to make it after all. We're through the worst of it and finally can see the end, chapter 7 and the rest of this horrid book will be done in no time. This time we hone in a bit on Aaron; Joel brings in an incredibly awkward anecdote from one of his other books (yes, Joel read another Aaron book...) that helps illustrate his perspective on human interactions and makes it clear he's not the expert on dating that he might want people to believe. We also discuss why its toxic to try to cut women out of your life, how people should recognize there are factors outside of their control that have an inordinate amount of influence over how they turn out in life, and once again how none of this advice is actually helpful even for readers who have drunk the Kool-Aid and are earnestly looking to change their lives.
Joel also debuts his newest bit "Anewsments," which is just his way of bringing current events into the show again. He's so transparent.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Lauren comes back after nearly a year hiatus to discuss the best relationship and dating questions from r/AITA and r/AITAH. Unlike the mishmosh questions from prior episodes, this episode is all wedding-themed because she and Joel are planning a wedding and dreading what horrors await them as they approach their big day. Come listen to us discuss how to deal with parents asking for a wedding invite for their relationship "third," how to respond when someone attempts to propose in the middle of the wedding dances, and whether or not to invite your "kissing cousins" to your wedding. Come for the drama, stay for some wedding planning advice.
If you want to support Desert Paws you can find their website here,
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi get together, in the same room even, to discuss weird stuff surrounding porn. This ranges from the rise of social media accounts where couples shame each other for porn use to the rise in "porn addiction" discussions to the weird subcultures of the NoFap movement. We also get into the crazy privacy and ethical implications of monitoring accused people's browsing history, how your car knows when you're having sex in it, and the rise of legislation that has effectively forced pornography websites out of entire US states.
The clip at the end is from Paul Thomas Anderson's magnum opus Magnolia and stars the eponymous Julianne Moore. (Joel thinks Magnolia is PTA's magnum opus but that could just be because he isn't smart enough to digest the advanced cinematography and writing of PTA's later work. It's certainly better than Punch-Drunk Love. But then again, any movie where Adam Sandler gets to show off his acting chops can't be too bad. Everyone loved Uncut Gems, after all. But then again, Magnolia had one of Tom Cruise's greatest roles as a loveable pickup artist scumbag. I dunno. This is all kind of stream of conciousness. It's 1AM and writing episode descriptions is hard. I'm just going to wrap it up now).
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
It was a long haul through the wilderness and we lost a lot of our party but we're finally through and nearing the promised land. We finished Chapter 6, finally, and can now enjoy the cool breeze of fresh chapters in weeks to come rather than remaining in the fetid stagnant air.
We finally wrap up chapter 6 by discussing that despite his assertions ADHD is a real thing, that mandated gender balances on corporate boards is not the end of the world, that women-only scholarships are something private entities should be allowed to offer and if he wants to even the playing field he'd be better off supporting free college, why custody cases and family courts are not unfairly biased against men, and why media and advertising really don't give women a free pass. We then summarize the 6 or so hours we've spent on this single chapter and talk a little about why unironically liking The Wolf of Wall Street's characters/message may be a red flag.
The clip used is from the Mitchell and Webb look tv series,
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
"Well, all I hear is, "Patience"
All I have are missed bank payments
I can't keep my head above the nonsense
This ain't gonna make me famousBut I can't eat off this paycheck
My dreams are quick-dryin' cement
Slippin' through the tips of my fingersFill my pockets
Cannonball into the black when I hear you say
[Chorus]
"It won't be this bleak forever" (Yeah right)
"It won't be this bleak forever" (And I hope you're right)
"It won't be this bleak forever" (Have you seen me lately?)
"It won't be this bleak forever" (Yeah right)
Spanish Love Songs -Self-Destruction as a Sensible Life Choice. (Deep DTG lore - friend of the show Rj makes an appearance in this music video). For more media about people feeling like they're wasting their life by doing things they enjoy, check out the last 10 episodes of this multi-past book series!
We're nearing the end of chapter 6 and Aaron just starts getting super sloppy. In this part he argues that men should never get married due to most women thinking of marriage only as a status symbol like a handbag (?), that one can prove all women are vapid and materialistic because of one scene in the 1999 movie American Beauty (which starred absolutely no weird sex-pervert actors and had absolutely no weird messages about contemporary masculinity), that one can prove women have no long-term interest in marriage by how they sometimes have less sex with their husbands after pregnancy (???), and that women are unfairly shown deference in all societies. Joel also did a journalism and found one of Aaron's blogs where he kind of gave away the end-goal of his belief system, denying non-tax-payers the right to vote or participate in democracy. Cool stuff. As usual, we debunk, but boy, our hearts are getting less and less into this as we continue.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
It's been awhile since we did one of these. We either became less lazy or less vain. Neither seems true, so maybe we just forgot this was a possible episode format? Doesn't matter.
In the almost 12 months since our last update the Guy siblings have really shaken things up. Naomi is living her best single girl life, Joel is happily engaged, and both siblings agree we need to rename the podcast to "Why Will No One Date Naomi Guy?" Or at least make it clear Joel's relationship is rock solid. Come for the drama, stay for our hot tips on proposals, therapy, best guy friends, and horrible anecdotes about Naomi taking our other brother to a nude beach. It's not as bad as it sounds. (it may actually be worse).
We are now recording through Riverside.fm and producing both video and transcripts of each episode. Find those on our Patreon. This week there is more than 6 minutes of content in the video that was cut from our episode. Why was it cut? Probably for being too good.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy. All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy.
This book is great. No notes.
In part 4 of chapter 6 we discuss the four ways "women negotiate in bad faith." We dig into why Aaron isn't the best source of investment advice, why women are probably using dating apps in exactly the same ways at men (and not to toy with their emotions) why you should only really do things if you like them and not out of spite, and why if you're trying to get people to embrace reprehensible belief systems you have to ease them in by providing banal advice at first. We also discuss why the existence of Onlyfans does not spell the downfall of Western Civilization and Joel attempts to provide a slightly more positive philosophy to male readers of this text that doesn't embrace self-loathing as a lifestyle.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Were we bad in a past life? That's becoming an increasingly likely scenario as we continue to plod through this text, spending far too many of our precious waking hours engaging with this toxicity. We think there's some truth to the idea that you're an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with: probably not great that the words of Aaron Clarey/Myron Gaines are now on that list for Joel and Naomi.
In part 3 of chapter 6 we discuss the unstated but explicitly eugenics-y arguments of valuing people by their productive capabilities, the fact that women do not uniformly vote as a block for welfare policies, why fiscal incidence is a bad way to track both people's contributions to society and the government's provision of social services. and the fact that women did not immediately start voting for welfare policies as soon as they could vote. We also dig into two unconvincing studies and a definitely not racist website Aaron cities but refuses to engage with.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Naomj and Joel come together one final time to record a episode in the house Naomi's been living in for the last 2+ years. We bid farewell to it's loud echoey surfaces and do a little prayer that her future apartment will have much better acoustics. No promises.
This week we're talking about all the weird changes in dating and marriage culture that have occurred since the beginning of the year, ranging from advances in AI to new novel dating apps to Peter Thiel's investments in reproductive health apps to giant drops in the marriage rate to the more common use of astrology in wedding planning. Oh, and Joel sings some Frank Sinatra. Fun stuff.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Plato said something about a person's legacy being either their children or their accomplishments. We don't want kids so unfortunately this might be the only mark of the Guy siblings that survives the ages. Totally worth it, not a doubt in our minds.
In part two of chapter 6 we continue to debunk the assertion that women are not pulling their weight in society through the arbitrary standards he's created to support his argument. We start by chatting a little bit about Myron bringing white nationalist and misogynist Nick Fuentes onto his podcast in early July then get into why using the gender breakdown of college majors is a horrible way to track the actual jobs people end up with, why majoring in "useful" fields of study might not be the best way to make money or help society, why both sexes are directed into different major paths even if they have identical interests, why the top-10 jobs for women are actually pretty important for society and there are serious barriers for women trying to get into the career paths he thinks are integral to human civilization, and why using FMLA and vacation leave rates as a litmus test for women's interest in careers is one of the stupider things he's said.
Joel also noticed Aaron/Myron's weird obsession with the interests of business over those of workers and took some time to talk about the political aspects of the text. He compares it the 14 basic tenets of fascism through Umberto Eco's essay Ur-Faciscm and argues that though this is pretty sloppily written it serves as a great way to indoctrinate people (mostly men) into explicitly fascist thinking patterns. Cool stuff.
If you want to know more about the argumentation methods of the far right, check out Innuendo Studios' series on far right rhetoric, The Alt-Right Playbook.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Be honest, you were expecting us to give up on this at some point, right? Like, how long could the Guy siblings really drag out one book? Well, don't be so surprised: when we order custom artwork we mean business.
It's part one of chapter six, a chapter that requires no prior context to jump in and "enjoy." In this one Aaron/Myron try to prove that women aren't upholding their part of the "New Contract" by showing that women don't do nearly as worthwhile as jobs as their male counterparts. There's a lot to cover, including analogies about historical events that are completely divorced from reality, the bold claim that men cannot live without sex, our takedown of both Aaron's relationship rules and the book the Laws of Power, and the first part of a multi-pronged attack against the idea that men were solely responsible for the development and maintenance of society up until the modern era. Naomi also shares a recap for Caramel Pretzel Chocolate bites that is more interesting/important than anything we've discussed in the book so far. Not a knock on Joel, it's just that good.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We gots more romantic media to gush about in an effort to distract ourselves from how hot it is outside and how horrible the content was in the last couple of episodes. Ah, suppressing our feelings in order to continue to do our job. Is there a more American thing?
This time we discuss the manga "The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All!," the reality series "Ultimatum: Queer Love," the romantic sci-fi/fantasy drama "The Fountain," the bondage-themed tv series "Bonding," the rebooted Wolfenstein videogame series, the teen romance series' "The Summer I Turned Pretty" and "Never Have I Ever," the hacker/anarchist tv series "Mr Robot," the Victorian drama "Queen Charlotte," the visual novel/adventure game "Overboard," the walking sim "Gone Home," and the DOOM mod "myhouse.wad."
All credit to Carly Rae Jepsen for use of "Run Away With Me."
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Knock, knock. It's another episode about a book Joel and Naomi hate and aren't giving up on because we think flaking on things is uncool despite the impact discussing this is having on our sibling relationship and mental health. Only positive impacts, we swear.
In the second part of chapter 6 we explore Aaron/Myron's weird attempts to prove women have less romantic interest in men than men have in women. We look at his compelling evidence, which ranges from outdated data analyses without methodologies or sample sizes to...also outdated data analyses that disprove the very assertions he's trying to make. We also discuss the research behind what men and women look for on dating apps, his idea that women have uniquely unrealistic standards (something, he, as a 30-something man only pursuing 20-something women who will put up with his schtick would know nothing about), and his weird belief that tattoos make women less attractive. We guess we can add tattoos and piercing to the other 50 things women can't do if they want to uphold the so-called "Old Contract."
Joel cites a book about women's history in the US around the 45 minute mark and gets the title wrong. It is "America"s Women" by Gail Collins. Great read and something we may talk about on a later episode. Find a copy here.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
Trust your eyes, true believers, we built in a reprieve from the worst book ever written! What's more, it's one where we mix things up and discuss things Naomi and Joel actually like!
We've done a lot of belly-aching about bad media so we put together some lists of good romantic media we've actually enjoyed in the last few years. Major spoilers ahead for a lot of these properties, but it's our contention that a lot of this media is enjoyable for the experience, not just the plot beats. We discuss the article Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny, the romance present in MCU films, the romance novel Hook, Line, and Sinker, Ewan McGregor's 2010 romcom Beginners, the George Clooney/Julia Roberts romcom Ticket to Paradise as well as their relationship in the Ocean's trilogy, the manga series Fullmetal Alchemist, the romcom You People, the Maniac tv series, the breakup romcom Someone Great, the tv series Bojack Horseman, the long-distance romcom Your Place or Mine, the sorta-like-a-romcom film Nacho Libre, and the comic series Sex Criminals. This is part one of a multi-part series; we have a lot of ground to cover in future installments.
Naomi also reveals a shocking secret 2/3 of the way through: if you're following Guy-family drama closely, you don't want to miss this.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We have different and new content coming soon. That said, why do you need different content than a 100-part debunking of a 93-page book? We're learning a lot about relationships just by debunking this BS: come on, pull up a chair and learn with us.
In part 5 we're still finding new untruths to debunk, ranging from reiteration of age-old claims about alpha/beta male dynamics (they don't exist), the claim that all young women go to college only so they can avoid dating unattractive men, the really weird claim that since more women have passed on their genes than men they must be less interested in men than men are in them, and the claim women have far less interest in sex than men (supported with some of the most dishonest and poorly used stats thus far). If you've ever felt like your grasp of statistics or your overall literacy is poor, listen to this ep; after hearing some of the junk this dude puts out into the world, you'll never doubt your capabilities again.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We're still not misogynists, we swear. Reporting on sexist assholes is not the same as endorsing their viewpoints.
Here it is, part two of chapter four of a book that could also be called "The Neverending Story." Geez, you'd think 90 pages wouldn't feel so long but we're less than halfway through once we finish this. Truly incredible to see how much misinformation can be packed into one text. It's like those researchers who write novels on DNA, or whatever.
In the second part of chapter four we wrap up discussing Aaron/Myron's arguments against the "New Contract." Using a combination of additional research and Myron's own citations we explain why marriages appear to be stronger than ever under the "new system" of dating, why divorce rate stats are wildly misleading and evidence indicates younger people are most likely to stay married, why young people having less sex is not a sign of the apocalypse, and how one can properly use the term Catch-22 in order to not appear like an idiot trying to look smart.
WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Racism. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a dealbreaker.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community.
Support the show
We're not misogynists, we swear.
We're back with part 3 of this cursed text which is part Necronomicon, part screenplay for Idiocracy. This covers the first part of Chapter 4, not because Chapter 4 is long, but because nearly every single thing he says is wrong in ways that would embarrass a novice highschool debater. In this part he tries to explain why the "New Contract" of dating is bad, but both fails to articulate a coherent definition of what the contract entails and makes up a bunch of bs to support his stupidity. We discuss which gender actually relied on the other throughout recorded human history (it was probably men), why defending capitalism for liberating women makes no sense, the decisions that created the modern welfare state, why there's no tie between "women's liberation" and welfare states, and why taking advice from rightwing pornstar grifters is a bad idea. And again, that's just the first part of the chapter.
WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Porn Star stats. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a deal breaker.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this.
Support the show
Today we are joined by the amazing, Miss Jai. We are here to discuss trans rights as well as learn more about Miss Jai. Miss Jai is known as a public speaker. She specializes is teaching the healthcare world more about how to support, treat and understand our transgender and non binary friends.
You can find Miss Jai online at askmissjai.com, on Instagram @askmissjai, and on linkedin @missjai.
Miss Jai had a lot of suggestions for trans causes you can support. There are links to each below.
Trans Empowerment Initiative in Kenya supports trans youth in places where being queer can be a death sentence.
Lambda Legal provides legal resources for queer individuals and fights anti-gay legislation in court.
National Center for Trans Equality provides detailed information about transgender and non-binary individuals as well as lobbies for more progressive legislation.
Locally, the Thornhill Lopez Center in Tucson and the One in Ten Chapter in Phoenix provide sexual education and resources for queer youth. Both are looking for donations and volunteers.
This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here.
Support the show
We're back for part two of Joel explaining why this book is one of the worst dating/pickup artist/misogynist pamphlets he's ever read. Not sure that he should have spent multiple weekends of his life reading anthropology papers to discount the assertions of a guy who thinks human civilization is 200k years old, but we all have to get our kicks somewhere. Also, since reading rightwing literature is now most of our show, we updated our logo accordingly.
In part two we discuss Chapter 3 of the text where Myron/Aaron attempts to explain what the "Old Contract" of human relationships looked like and how Myron thinks modern women have ruined everything. As you might expect there's a laughable amount of "appeal to nature" fallacies, lots of references to women being no better than prostitutes, and assertions about human history and biology that most people with a highschool education would be able to disprove. But since the audience for this is probably middle school boys, maybe that's sufficient?
WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Racism. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a dealbreaker.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here.
Support the show
We thought we've reached rock-bottom when reading dating culture books before, but somehow we broke through a found a new bedrock of low-quality dreck to discuss. Unfortunately, this one is perhaps the most popular dating book in the world right now and far far too many people have already read it and walked away with some of the worst hot takes ever put to paper.
This is part one of a multi-part critique of Myron Gaines' first (and hopefully last) manifesto. There is so much wrong with every assertion in this book that we might spend anywhere between 5 and 10 1-hour episodes breaking down his claims. This part explores the background of the author's podcast and how this got written, the horrible formatting and scam that is the length, the possibility Myron didn't actually write this, and the nonsense contained within the first two chapters. Buckle up.
We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.
This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi get together on our two year anniversary to catch up on the dating/relationships of some prior guests, reflect upon our successes and failures, and plan out the future of the pod. Like most episodes, Joel also finds a way to torment his sister. But like, in a celebratory sense.
The closing song is Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days. The content of the song bears absolutely no resemblance to the Guy family's views on their podcast.
This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here.
Support the show
We unearthed another film from the Patreon vault, You People, Netflix's early 2023 romantic comedy. While the trailers depicted this as a compelling story about an interracial couple having issues with each other's families, it's really more of a series of zany sitcom moments that fail to deliver any insight into the realities of interracial dating (and arguably perpetuates some really bad messages about race and culture in process). Perhaps most disappointingly, Jonah Hill doesn't even deliver a great "neurotic white boy" performance. Join us this week to discuss the shortcomings of this film and how Hollywood could do a better job of writing this kind of story moving forward.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi reunite one last time to tackle the final part of HNTDA and provide some closing thoughts. Logan discusses how to evaluate relationships, when to decide to break up, and how to navigate a breakup in a kinda unrealistic fashion. Joel also wraps up by talking about the problem with dating advice overviews and how content creators have to constantly ride the line between producing simple, easy to understand advice that may be useful and complicated layered advice that may not be helpful but will get them clicks/book purchases.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans and abortion organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the Trans Resistance Network which supports mutual aid and community defense networks for trans people throughout the US. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send them some money here.
Support the show
We return to discussing the best guide for not dying alone. Alternatively, the best guide for dying alone, if that's your fancy. Just reverse the instructions.
Naomi discusses the best etiquette for first dates, pointing out different techniques for conversations and evaluations of different partners. Joel's opinion on the book softens slightly but we also discuss how so many dating books fill themselves with fluff to justify being 200+ pages.
We were recording on Zoom and had a few weird audio glitches we did our best to edit around. Please forgive us. We're just a small-town podcast in a big-city podcast kinda world.
Joel references an Always Sunny clip which you can find here.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans and abortion organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the Trans Resistance Network which supports mutual aid and community defense networks for trans people throughout the US. Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send them some money here.
Support the show
Ohmigawd, a DTG episode under 45 minutes! Yeah, you can trust your eyes: we crammed all the good stuff in under an hour. In the second part of How Not To Die Alone, we discuss how to date. This contrasts to the first part, where to even start. This part, Joel is less cynical but his true self shines through towards the end. Stick around and find out why Joel hates this book so much.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Support the show
This week, Naomi and Joel explore the book How to Not Die Alone. In the first part of this book report we explore the author, their qualifications as well as what the author has to say about dating apps.
Will you die alone?
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
State Representative Melody Hernandez comes back to discuss what's going on in the AZ House, current developments with abortion and trans rights legislation, the power of Governor Hobb's veto, and her belief in the importance in community involvement in non-election years. We also use our last few minutes together to talk romantic media and what's she's looking forward to watching in her non-existent free time.
Rep. Hernandez mentioned she loves the work of Dr DeShawn Taylor and Desert Star Family Planning. Find out more about them and donate to support their work here.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans and abortion organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the Valley Abortion Fund of New Mexico which is working to build a powerful access network throughout the state. Find a link to support them here.
Support the show
It's been a while since we discussed the Gift of Fear so we figured it was worth bringing the topic of domestic violence and abuse back up. Erick Escalara, a former domestic violence advocate & family therapist, was all too happy to help. He came on to discuss his relationship red flags and his work with abuse victims but livens up the conversation a bit by also talking about his favorite relationship media and his meme page.
Find Erick online here. Erick wanted to draw attention to the Arizona Coalition against Domestic Violence which fights against sexual and domestic violence in the state. Find them here.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Somehow Joel and Lauren's relationship survived the Kansas bashing of part one because she's back to finish up the book. This part explores the role psychiatry played in de-stigmatizing queer individuals during this era, the emergence of the Pill, the intersection of drug culture with fights for sexual liberation, the struggles of women throughout these movements, and the eventual emergence of co-ed living in colleges across the country. If you've ever wondered what shaped the discourses on sex and gender in the 20th century, this section should help.
Find copies of the book here.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
In a continued effort to emmesh Lauren further in the Guy-family media empire (we're basically the Kardashians at this point), Joel brought her back to discuss a book about the Sexual Revolution in America and how it manifested in her hometown of Lawrence, Kansas. This book, another from the author of From Front Porch to Back Seat, explores how the Sexual Revolution was shaped by a variety of economic, political, and social forces during the 20th Century and was not limited by the activities of specific individuals or geographical locations. Part one of this episode discusses how WW2 impacted the population of Lawrence and how their tolerance of illicit activities were influenced both by the desire for economic growth and the national trends of the day.
Find copies of the book here.
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
We've had our faces on our branding since literally the first episode so bringing on our elusive brother was the only way we could make our 100th episode special. Oh, sure, we could have actually produced some good content people would have enjoyed, but where's the fun in that?
The mysterious Max Guy makes an appearance to chat with us about his perspectives on dating, how dating works as a male in San Francisco, and what he's looking for in a partner. Joel also takes advantage of there being two siblings in the room to torment them with not one but two separate gameshow segments. No one but him has a good time.
This episode was sponsored by bedwego.com, the premium hookup app for singles. Bedwego. Connecting singles coming home from the airport in all major cities. (this is a joke, please don't go to that website and subject your computer to all of the viruses).
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Support the show
Given all the horrible relationship advice we've discussed on this pod, we were concerned professionals might be reticent to come on, but therapist Lindsay Luv was up for the challenge. Lindsay appears on this episode to talk about her work with marginalized individuals, dating and relationship trends she sees in her patients, her frank advice for young men seeking a partner, and her relationship war stories.
Find Lindsay online on Facebook, Instagram, and at therapyluv.com. Lindsay expressed support for the Highland Project, a group working to build black generational wealth (and can be found here), and the Loveland Foundation, which provides mental health support for black women (find them here).
This year our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations and activism. This month we made a donation to the bail fund of trans activist who was arrested for protesting a horrendous trans bill in Oklahoma. Check out the link here.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
We have a very special guest in this episode... the wealthy patron who helps finance our podcast... HALEY DOWNING. We talk about dating, living in San Francisco, and a give a sneak peek of our elusive brother. This episode includes a typical Joel game show as well as plenty of juicy gossip. Who knows, maybe Haley will spill secrets on how to become a prime milf hunter?
One fun note - we decided to treat Haley like any other friend and gave her a sample of our horrible recording skills. The content is great, the audio that content is recorded on...well, we can't win them all.
This year it looks like our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations. This month we'll be giving our Patreon proceeds to the Trevor Project, a non-profit that provides, among other services, a 24/7 suicide hotline for trans people.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Just when you thought we'd escaped the event horizon of this prolife zine, it resurfaces, ready once more to be our emotional punching bag. Welcome to 2023, AYGFLHYaPZ! We hope we can be done with you by the end of the year, but we're still less than 20% thru your length so neither Joel nor Naomi are holding their breath.
We return to discuss the state of abortion in the US and then dive right in, addressing the claims that terminations for the safety of the mother will always be allowed (lie), that many doctors think having a baby is safer than having any abortion (lie), that the two common abortion pills are actually deadly for one's health (lie), and that countries with illegal abortions don't have more maternal deaths than countries with legal abortions (really hard to prove but the context isn't great for their argument). Joel also finally figured out who the author is and what groups she works with, which will not win him any journalism awards but does provide an interesting perspective on the sources she's using.
This year it looks like our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations. This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Part 2 of our unfortunately already-dated (WE RECORDED 9 DAYS AGO AND THIS IS NOW ANCIENT HISTORY) discussion of genocidal rhetoric and policy-making is out. Again, awareness of these issues is important, but don't bum yourself out if you don't have to. Eat some cake or play some videogames (not that Potter one) and relax. Good work is being done by lots of people right now, but we may call on you to help throw some stones at some point.
In this episode we discuss the strategies governors are employing to undermine queer rights at all levels, what national actors could be doing to support trans and queer rights, why national newspapers like the New York Times are failing to cover this issue properly and what good coverage might look like, how this effects cis women, why people making grooming accusations have some very weird tolerances for bad behavior, and why, even with all of this bad stuff, there is stuff going on in the world that you can derive hope from. Seriously, don't bum yourself out. Go listen to our Steve Harvey eps if you need a chuckle. Or consider this trans-themed gaming collection which directly supports queer creators,
This year it looks like our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations. This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi discuss the very real issue of anti-trans legislation and escalating rhetoric in the US and abroad, a problem that anti-genocide think-tanks have deemed genocidal in nature. We give a little bit of background on recent anti-trans legislation and what it entails, why so many politicians are pushing anti-trans and anti-queer legislation, the ramp-up in explicitly anti-queer protests across the US, the rise in the use of the word groomer (as well as the history behind its usage), and why this impacts everyone. This is probably best consumed in conjunction with pt2 (out next week), where we give a couple glimpses of hopeful trends and suggestions for further action.
The Lemkin Institute's statement on trans genocide can be found here.
Track anti-LGBTQ+ legislation here.
Data on child maltreatment can be found here.
This year it looks like our monthly Patreon donations will be going towards trans organizations. This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.
This is not the happiest of topics and might be a bummer. If you're not in the best of places mentally (and who is, these days), consider playing some video games instead. We've heard good things about Celeste.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Mustachio McGraw returns again to blah blah blah. To offset our desire to not discuss the book we bide time by sampling the worst soda we've ever tasted and reveal our new power mantra for the year, 2023: 20-Rigatoni (It makes more sense in context).
There's some sexist statements about how men communicate, some poorly explained filler about male archetypes and how women can use knowledge of them to improve their relationships, some junk about the type of guys women should always avoid, and some stuff about online dating but neither Naomi or Joel are really feeling it. It's both too general to be useful advice and too specific at times to be helpful in most people's relationships. Also, this last part makes it clear he and Steve Harvey don't differ too much in how they think of women and gender essentialism, so we're not giving the benefit of the doubt we gave in prior sections.
We will seriously entertain suggestions on how to destroy this book in the hopes no one else ever has to read it.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Dr Phil is back to give out more advice, some of it weirdly helpful, some of it horribly sexist. We do our best to differentiate the man and our opinions on him from Steve Harvey, but given the similarities between their content and facial hair we do mess up a few times. Our apologies to Mr McGraw.
In these sections Philip tells readers how to work past their trauma from prior relationships, describes how every woman is either nice or sexy, talks about the importance of marketing your good qualities when dating, explains the "fundamental differences" between women and men, and quizzes readers on whether they can identify common relationship myths. We have no issues with any of these statements and do not at any point object to the content.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
We spent most of 2022 bagging on Steve Harvey so we figured we'd find a new daytime talkshow host enemy for 2023. Enter Dr Phil, America's favorite substitute for proper mental health education and treatment. After making a splash with his advice show in 2002 he dropped this 2005 gem, a comprehensive guide for women to find their happily ever after. Or at least that was the goal.
In Part 1 we dig into Phil McGraw's weird controversies and sketchy therapy style, how he suggests women think about dating, and the (actually maybe helpful?) lists he provides for visualizing your future partner. It's not baaad advice, but there's enough weirdness to justify us taking shots here and in future episodes.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Oh boy, a new year beckons, which means it's time for all you singles to get your resolutions in order and plot your dating strategy for the next 365 days. We've pulled some predictions about new dating trends from Bumble, OK Cupid, Match, and Women's Health, spend a bit too much time digging once more into Match's Singles in America survey, and Joel gives a few predictions of his own for the coming year. If anyone wants to cancel us for bad opinions, come back in 12 months and check how we did.
Credit to "Singles in America" for our cover art.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Sup, 2023? If you're like us you're probably still recovering from excessive mulled wine and eggnog consumption but it's time to get cracking on goals for the year. This time Joel and Naomi have some new advice for how to not just set goals but to create the processes necessary to achieve them. Joel brings in "Atomic Habits," a guide that explains how to create the processes to achieve your aspirations and break the habits you have that prevent you from being better. If you maybe fell short of where you wanted to get in 2022 as a better person or partner listen to this one to get a leg up in the coming year.
Also, we had some audio issues in the second half of this bad boy. Nothing unsalvageable, but certainly not our best work.
Find a copy of Atomic Habits here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Happy Holidays to all who celebrate! Patrons got this present early, back in October; subscribe now to access incredible work like this far in advance of the regular audience.
It's here, it's finally here. The end of an unending saga, the final piece of the polyptych that forms the life work of one Broderick Stephen Harvey. It's okay, we guess. Unlike Marry Me it's at least watchable and has the added benefit of being shot far more competently than the first film. That said, it's still not good, and Joel forced Naomi to listen to him rant about this film's shortcomings for over an hour. Listen to him complain about the weird background of this film's development, nonsensical plotpoints , repetitive character arcs, and, most importantly, the sexist messages they were forced to use so this could be canonized into the "Think Like a Man" universe. We're happy to be done with this but recognize the writers are hard at work on a tv series; if they need help on that or the inevitable Pt3, shoot us an email; we'll work for scale.
All credit to Think Like a Man, Too, for use of its poster and audio.
All credit to Bell Biv DeVoe for use of Poison.
Support the show
Joel and Lauren are back in the studio to discuss the phone apps that their entire relationship relies on. No seriously, we are wholly dependent on these and if the internet ever went down our relationship would collapse like a deck of cards. Keep it up, Al Gore.
We discuss the finance and money apps that keep things equitable, the cleaning app Sweepy that keeps our house in order, the relationship app LoveWick which helps us know more about each other, and the imageboard app Pinterest, which we use to get a better understanding of our personal styles and tastes, as well as plan future events/home renovations.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Naomi and Len sit down in a new series called Coffee Talks and update everyone on what's been going on with them. They touch on intimacy in the bedroom, questions that have come up since Naomi started watching Sex and the City, and so on. This series will include relationship updates as well as advice for individuals in relationships wanting to expand communication in and outside the bedroom.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Lauren, everyone's favorite unpaid cohost, is back to render judgement with Joel once more on the thorniest, and weirdest, relationship dilemmas. We start with a few life updates, including the saga of Joel's cat's butt's problems, then discuss abandoning your SO in the hospital, the ethics of firing your pregnant fiancée, mothers who reject your wife's baking, wives who hate your friend's wedding photos, and a couple other juicy predicaments.
All credit to Axel F. for use of Crazy Frog.w
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Naomi and Joel get together one last time to wrap up our discussion of dating in the 20th century, digging into how Freud and Darwin (amongst others) helped created an idea of "learned" gender and the impact this had on how people were expected to act in the dating world. We also chat about how one can apply the lessons of this book to dating trends these days and what one might expect moving forward. And you would not believe it, but Steve Harvey stops by to make (hopefully) his last appearance on our program.
Find a copy of the book here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi return for a third time to discuss the book we love (ohmigod, something getting equivalent airtime to a Steve Harvey book). We start by discussing what's been keeping us sane this year, before we wrap up the women as commodities section, talk about fake boobs, and finally get into the forbidden topic, S.E.X., talking about who was having it during the early 20th century, what authority figures thought about it, and how their disapproval helped develop rape culture and the archetypes of male predators. We don't get too explicit, but if you're not a fan of discussion of Sexual Assault, maybe skip the latter half of the episode.
Find a copy of the book here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
woo. Midterms.
Stuff happened related to abortion, trans rights, and the future of the country. We discuss.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Welcome back to part two of maybe four(?) parts of a book exploring date culture in the US in the early twentieth century. Joel and Naomi discuss how WW2 impacted the age people were expected to marry, how authority figures encouraged teens and children to date en-masse to get them married younger, how "going steady" rose in prominence, and how women and men's value in the date economy slowly reduced them to commodities. Thanks, capitalism.
Find a copy of the book here.
All credit to Scarlet Pleasure for What A Life.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Just in time for the spoopiest holiday of the year, Joel and Naomi have something truly horrifying to share with the world...a book they really like. Oh, sure, it lacks the riffability of a Steve Harvey self-help guide or a prolife progressive zine, but it makes up for that with a shockingly well-researched deep dive into the development of American dating culture from the 19th to 20th century. In this first part we discuss how "calling" culture morphed into dating, how this impacted the respective control each sex had in the dating game, and how WW2 changed the dynamics of dating forever.
Find a copy of the book here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
As continued proof that Steve Harvey leaves rent-free in our minds, we return once more to his work with Think Like a Man, possibly the only movie ever based on a romantic advice bestseller (unless John Carter of Mars was loosely based on Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus). Unlike other media we've reviewed, this one is at least watchable, but Joel takes the opportunity to rant to Naomi about the weirdness of this film, from the strange writing and editorial selections, to Steve Harvey's incessant inclusion, to how the major plotlines fail to even remotely support the viability of Steve Harvey's dating advice. Look, you probably weren't expecting Terrence Malick level of storytelling here, but it's worth digging into where this movie goes wrong and where future iterations of the Think Like a Man series can improve.
All credit to The Big Short for use of a clip.
All credit to Think Like a Man for use of clips from the film and trailer, as well as use of the poster.
All credit to James Brown for use of It's A Man's Man's Man's World in the outro.
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more" - Henry V.
Support the show
A new dating app for conservatives ("The Right Stuff") recently launched semi-disastrously so we decided to dig into what makes it bad, whether the concept of specialty dating apps even works, and why Peter Thiel is so interested in investing money into a concept that's already been done a dozen+ times in the last decade. We dig up some weird stuff.
If anyone has access to the app itself, please send us an invite. We'd like to test some things.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Boy, the hits keep coming and they don't stop coming, huh? Same day we recorded this the Arizona courts decided that outlawing all abortions was totally fine and good; kind of a kick in the pants, but hey, not totally unexpected.
On part two of AYGFLHYaPZWTF we discuss the various abortion initiatives that made it to the ballot in multiple states before jumping back into the text. This time we get through a little more than 10% of this "zine," discussing a weird mishmash of philosophy that tries to use the trolley problem to explain why abortion is bad while also making SmashMouth references, the argument that patriarchy is why women feel the need to get abortions, and the somewhat nonsensical claim that pregnancy isn't a danger to women. If you happen to have a vagina, this is a perfect episode to open the spookiest month of the year, both due to the fact that some people apparently believe this stuff and due to some graphic descriptions of very normal results of even uncomplicated pregnancies. Woot woot.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
We're happy to be joined this week by Arizona State Representative Melody Hernandez, who's running for re-election this November. We chat about her stance on the recent upholding of the (near) total abortion ban in AZ, the bills she's co-sponsored on abortion, sex-ed, and sexual violence prevention in the House, and some of the trials and tribulations she's experienced dating as a public servant.
For first-time listeners, this podcast focuses on changes in relationships and dating trends amongst GenZ and Millenials. While a lot of our content covers dating media, we find that discussions about women's rights, the economy, and US politics help explain while many people might be reticent to date or pursue serious relationships.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Well our last official catchup episode was back in October of 2021, so we felt we could fill some time and let our listeners know what we've been up to. The ego on some people, right? We discuss what's new in our lives/relationships, some takeaways from recent travel, what's keeping us sane in these dark times, and some information on both the recently proposed 15 week abortion ban and a new push for tradcore lifestyles. More specifically, we dig into why the "compromise" positions being promoted by conservatives as more lenient than European law don't really pass the smell test.
Here's a link to the video we discuss.
Find the article comparing American and European abortion restrictions here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
This week, Naomi is joined by her boyfriend, Len Zuro, to explore their new favorite reality TV show, F-boy Island. F-boy Island season 1 is a 10-episode season jam-packed with manipulation and a grand prize of 100 thousand dollars. Will the three girls choose the right guys or will they be devastated as the guy they fall in love with is actually an f-boy? Find out here as we review and make fun of this season of F-boy Island.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Naomi went out of town again so Joel and Lauren were left to "Risky Business" up the podcast, fun dance scenes, horrible meal choices, and all. This week we're back once more to discuss partners who get mad at their SOs for not making enough food, loveable pranksters who pretend to throw their girlfriend off the Grand Canyon, mean old boyfriends who don't prioritize ER visits for their girlfriends, people who feed their dogs better than their beaus, and so much more. As always, we discuss who in the situation is probably on the moral side and general tips we can take away from the questions regarding how to be a better partner.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Boy, that's a mouthful. Joel and Naomi found a very strange prolife zine online and want to discuss how it attempts to bridge the gap between progressive and prolife positions. We haven’t really engaged with prolife rhetoric before and thought this would be a good opportunity to unpack some of their main arguments. Unfortunately, this thing is really really long; we literally get through 3 pages of a 114 page document in this first part. We have no idea how long this will take to get through and we honestly might just give up halfway, but we’ll try to earnestly deliver some counter-arguments to what’s being presented to help our listeners better understand how to engage with this stuff in their personal lives.
Unrelated, but since this is pretty heady subject material, Joel decided to torment his sister again with another round of “Pundamental Romance,” the only pun-based romantic media podcast gameshow. We can’t guarantee we’ll do a round every time we discuss serious topics, but boy, it takes the edge off this episode.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Support the show
This week we explore The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder. This episode talks about dating taboos, how to impress, and what the traditional "appealing" wear of the time was. During this episode, we talk about the end of WW1 to now.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Support the show
This week we explore The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder. This episode talks about dating taboos, how to impress, and what the traditional "appealing" wear of the time was. During this episode, we talk about the 1700s to the beginning of WW1.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Support the show
And we're back with part 2 of John Grey's guide to gender essentialism, a horribly substantiated and poorly-reasoned guide to communicating with and loving your partner better. Sure, we make fun of it, but we also realize it's had and will continue to have more of an impact on the world than anything we'll ever produce, so maybe we're just jealous?
In this part we discuss some actually reasonable advice to how different sexes use language differently, some weirdly sexist advice regarding how men and women deal with stress, and some more horrible advice about people never being able to change their partner. We wrap it up by talking about research that's been done since the book was first published that undermines the whole gosh-darn premise and a quick prayer that John Grey never again picks up a pen to write.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support. Go check out what is going on in the world and support those with a uterus.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
This bad boy was formerly sealed away in the vault, just for Patrons, but enough time has passed that we think the public deserves to see the final part of the Steve Harvey epic saga.
Thrill and chill as Steve Harvey explains to women how to act to convince men they're worthy of value, using the tortured metaphor of sports fish versus keepers. Don't go anywhere though, as he follows that with his uncomfortable revelation that women should constantly bend over backwards to appeal to the fragile ego of their male partners, even if they're the sole provider in a household. None of this is really a departure from his sexist stances in prior chapters, but boy, he lays it on thick as we approach the end of the ALaLTLaM saga. You know, Naomi and Joel had a little intrepidation about writing a dating advice book, but Steve Harvey's work has really helped our confidence. Guess it's not all bad, huh?
We refuse to provide links to Steve Harvey's books on this podcast. Go support your library if reading it means so much to you.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
We're happy to be joined this week by Julie Gunnigle, who's running in the upcoming election for Maricopa County Attorney with a focus on defending women's reproductive rights, We chat with her about how the Roe decision will impact Arizona, what a County Attorney can do to fight for abortion rights, and how she'll approach several Arizona-specific justice issues when elected.
For first-time listeners, this podcast focuses on changes in relationships and dating trends amongst GenZ and Millenials. While a lot of our content covers dating media, we find that discussions about women's rights, the economy, and US politics help explain while many people might be reticent to date or pursue serious relationships.
You can find out how to support Julie's campaign here.
Julie mentioned a few important causes at the end of the interview: here are links if you are interested in getting involved.
Arizonans for Transparency and Accountability in Corrections
Abortion Fund of Arizona
Mass Liberation AZ
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
When we started this podcast we thought we'd have to dig deep to find some dating books with horrible advice, but after reading a few of them we're convinced just scratching the surface will get us more than enough content for years to come. Case in point - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, a loving 1990's guide that puportedly bridges the impossible divide between how both sexes love and communicate. We start in this part by discussing the weird background of the author, some weird oversights in his work, and the first few sections which discuss how trying to change your partner is silly and
Joel also gets the chance to share his conspiracy theory that Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man cribbed heavily from this text, which isn't actually that far-fetched when you put the pieces together.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support. Go check out what is going on in the world and support those with a uterus.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Okay, we've blown through some whimsical topics in the last few weeks so now it's time to get back to the important stuff, namely how changes in federal and state law concerning women's reproductive rights are impacting the world. We dive into how to express your concerns to your local government (protests, we mean protests), polling on what the real dividing line on abortion is (it's not actually about fetuses), and likely changes to relationships/dating culture as a result of women quickly losing all their rights. As always, super fun stuff, but we keep it lively with Joel's debut of "Pundamental Romance," a media mashup game designed purely to torment his sister.
A link to a great lecture on why you shouldn't talk to the police.
A link to ACLU's guide about how to communicate with police officers
A guide to sterilization doctors around the US.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Straight from the Patreon catacombs comes another movie review! Well, less review so much as Joel ranting to Naomi for an hour about his disdain for David Russell's 2012 film. There's a reason for that though - Naomi could not sit through it and forced her kindly older brother to shoulder the burden.
The Guy siblings break down their issues with a highly-regarded and highly-lauded rom-com, ranging from nonsensical plot points to poor representations of mental health to weird casting decisions to a creepy director who needs to be MeToo'd out of the industry. Joel also talks about ways one could improve the film with even just mild tweaks, in a section screenwriters and Hollywood executives will probably reference for years to come.
All credit to the Weinstein Company (yeah, that Weinstein company) for use of their poster and audio clips from the film.
All credit to Gaumont for the clip from the Fifth Element.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
This episode explores boundaries in romantic relationships. Naomi and Len describe boundaries that are needed in their relationship as well as boundaries that they have witnessed in other relationships. This conversation also includes advice on how to start conversations that are important to have before moving in with your significant other or just anyone.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support. Go check out what is going on in the world and support those with a uterus.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
For all the ranting and raving about media they dislike, the Guy siblings have yet to provide some good examples of relationship media they feel is actually good. Joel finally remedied that by bringing in Rj to discuss a shared favorite film, 500 Days of Summer, a romantic comedy/drama that has it all, strong characters, great music, subtle themes, and a well-written script full of positive takeaways for people at all stages in their relationships. Anyway, we get together to rant and rave about it for an hour. Check it out!
All credit to Regina Spektor, The Pixies, and Nancy Sinatra for the use of their music. All credit to Fox Searchlight for the use of their poster, trailer, and scenes from the film.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Joel and Naomi are joined again by Audrey to discuss influences on her relationship from friends and family, her views on the trials and rewards of parenting, and the anxieties younger people have about having children. We also wrap up with a Kansas-themed round of Way Too Personal, the only personal-ad themed gameshow within a dating podcast.*
*this may not be true, but it's our bit and we're sticking with it.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
For a slightly different change of pace, Joel and Naomi are joined by Audrey, a longtime friend from highschool, to discuss her family, dark romance, Catholicism, and getting married young. She traces her evolution as a person from highschool to college to present, and explains how she believes her worldview has both changed in some ways while remaining consistent in others.
Please be cautioned that this episode covers some dark-than-normal themes; we're not explicit, but the contents may make some viewers uncomfortable.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Lauren's back, and better than ever! She and Joel team up while Naomi's out of town to tackle some more of the internet's most thorny relationship issues, ranging from wives who's husbands won't let them interview for jobs to boyfriends who feel their girlfriend is being unsupportive when they accuse them of crimes. Not only do we render judgement on the toughest questions of the Am I the Asshole subreddit, we also try to give some context for why the behavior of certain individuals is so bad and how we (brilliant couple that we are) would approach each situation.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Omigod. No, your eyes aren't deceiving you, here's an actual episode with dating advice from a podcast allegedly about dating culture. Shocking, huh?
Joel and Naomi talk about date ideas in the metro-Phoenix area, breaking it down into categories that should be helpful for even non-Phoenicians to plan dates around. Some of these could be good first date suggestions, but most are things you would probably enjoy more with an SO you've been together with for a while. Most of these will probably appeal to our demo, the 20 to 40 crowd - don't complain to us for the lack of liver-spot clinic recommendations or whatever else the old folks are into these days.
We launched a Google Places Map in May that keeps track of all of these places and many many more. If you subscribe to our Patreon for just $5/month, you can access that, episodes ahead of time, bts material, and occasionally merch.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Okay, first things first, we're three days short of our one-year anniversary. Yeah, we get it. No one cares. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Joel and Naomi get together to catch up with some past guests, revel in their triumphs from the first year, talk about areas we can approve, and strategize about the year ahead. If you're joining us late, we make some recommendations of episodes to listen to in order to absorb the best lessons we've provided over the past year. I mean, you should listen to all of them, just to be sure, but especially the ones we mention. Thanks for a great first 362 days, y'all!
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Naomi and Len team up to mentally damage Joel with details of Netflix's new hit, The Ultimatum, a 10part gameshow series which permanently destroys any Western notion of the "sanctity of marriage." Apparently couples who are on the rocks find new partners to date for 3 weeks and then try to rebuild their relationship with their partner or move on for greener pastures? This is a terrible idea, but we discuss why Netflix made such a thing and how dating shows created just for drama can improve both their structure and how deeply they impact the participants.
All credit to Netflix for use of their poster. We have no interest in making off with their intellectual property. If you can even call this property "intellectual."
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
Hey, y'all. It took us a while to find something useful to say about this recent abortion debacle; our initial thought was just to primal-scream into the mic for an hour, but we think others have done much better jobs doing that than we could hope to. Instead, we spend this episode talking about the potential impacts of the Supreme Court striking down Roe v Wade, who's to blame, and things you should be doing to prepare for the worst. Some raw and unfiltered feelings in this ep; slightly meaner than our usual fare, but still meant to be constructive.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. For the indefinite future all Patreon donations will go to them, NARAL, or other orgs doing good work across the nation.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show
And we're back, blah blah blah, more Steve Harvey, you get the spiel.
We go for another dip into the misogynistic and deeply confusing dating advice of Steve Harvey. Joel and Naomi talk about Steve's view that all men need is "Support, Love, and the Cookie," how men hate small talk and women concern themselves far too much with minutia, why women need to understand that all men approaching them only want sex, how men only respect women who set standards, questions Steve thinks will conclusively determine if you should continue dating someone, and the "Ninety Day Rule." It's all bad, folks, but we get some good laughs out as well as some good discussion about why multimillionaires shouldn't be writing advice books of any kind.
We refuse to provide links to Steve Harvey's books on this podcast. Go support your local library if reading it means so much to you.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Support the show
Some people have said we're doing too many book episodes and not enough dating episodes. We pondered that, mulled it over for a few weeks, and decided to take that to heart by combining a book on dating advice with actual conversation about dating standards. And the results were...not good.
Steve Harvey makes his first appearance on our podcast, by virtue of his poorly named "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." In it, he tells women the true secrets of the male mindset and gives them the information he thinks they need to know to succeed while dating. And that advice? Pretty darn misogynistic, kinda racist at times, and certainly not worthy of the 64 weeks it spent on the NYT best seller list. Joel and Naomi tackle the first third of the book, confronting such bold statements as "men are simple beings," men won't love anyone until they feel successful," and men only show love by "professing, providing, and protecting" those they care about. Good, intelligent stuff all around and well worth a listen.
We refuse to provide links to Steve Harvey's books on this podcast. Go support your library if reading it means so much to you.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Joel and Naomi continue their discussion with sex educator Joe Russo, pivoting to his prsonal experiences and time in the field. Discussions of funny stories and what not to tell your students as a sexual educator, commence. Sex ed is hard y'all. If you feel you ever need to explain awkward concepts to friends or family, this might be a good one to check out.
Danny Devito, we're still waiting for your call.
Looking for a place to donate or help out? Joe suggests you check out the Arizona Public Health Association and Arizona Family Health Partnership. We concur. We also strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Joel and Naomi bring in a very special guest, Joe Russo, a former Arizona sex educator. In true DTG fashion, we wanted to treat him like any other guest, so we recorded 3 audio tracks and Joel promptly wrote over 2 of them. Good stuff. Joe discusses his past relationships, his journey towards sex education, problems with how sex education is done in America, and specific critiques of Arizona sex ed (looking at you, Doug Ducey). Some really good insights here on public policy and specifically bad curricula.
Looking for a place to donate or help out? Joe suggests you check out the Arizona Public Health Association and Arizona Family Health Partnership. We concur. We also strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Back for Part 2? Weird. We normally have a dropoff of about a third of our viewers from part 1 of our episodes to part 2. Pat yourself on the back for remaining committed to your intellectual self improvement. No, please, take the time to do so. You've earned it.
Joel and Naomi continue discussing marriage, finally emerging from the depths of the Middle Ages to discuss modern times. Purity culture, age of consent, abstinence, counseling, and the birth control pill all rear their heads and help explain how marriage ends up in its modern state. That's not to say we accept everything at face value: we have a couple critiques of the text that we bring in during this episode.
You can find copies of Marriage, a History, here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
50 episodes in and we're finally answering a question we broached in the first month of our podcast, why exactly do people get married and how have marriage patterns changed from the past to the modern day. What can we say, we're nothing but timely. Speaking of which, is anyone else excited for the last season of Game of Thrones? We're a little behind but excited to see how the showrunners wrap it all up. It would be hard to bungle a media franchise this big and important.
Naomi calls Joel in to discuss Marriage, a History, by Stephanie Coontz, a condensed discussion of the historical roots of marriage and how different cultures changed the meaning and importance of marriage over time. Part 1 has us talking about the modern "crisis" of marriage and some of the reasons people thing marriage rates have chanaged, before we get into how the earliest cultures stumbled into pairing-arrangements. Part 2 will explore more modern perceptions of marriage and romance as we approach the modern era of dating in the 21st Century.
The Dollop on Purity Balls can be found here.
You can find copies of Marriage, a History, here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Happy Goofday, All! We thought a goofy episode on relationships might go down poorly today, so we decided to drop a formerly Patreon-exclusive episode instead! Patrons got to listen to this in February; you too can listen to our content earlier by heading over to Patreon.com and signing up now!
Joel and Naomi dug into Marry Me, the Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez "rom-com" that dropped in February. Sure, they mostly spend the episode nitpicking the horrible concept and weird plot points like a lazy Youtube channel, but they also get into an interesting discussion about why a lot of rom-com plotting sucks, and some ways a clever writer might be able to write a kickass script and revitalize the genre.
All credit to Universal Pictures for use of their poster.
All credit to Mr Loco for the use of their song "Religious Man."
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Proving once and for all that anything Joel can do, she can do better, Naomi joins her beau Len in the studio to deliver some zesty hot takes on more "Am I the Asshole" posts. They navigate the choppy waters of social graces in relationships to deliver high-quality assessments of people's bad choices.
As always, if you have a thorny relationship problem, feel free to send it to datetheseguys@gmail.com. No promises on the quality of our answers, but we'll at least give it a shot.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Hey y'all, we're pissed about the newest wave of hateful bills designed to harm trans people, so we did a special episode on it. We know this is slightly outside our wheelhouse, but neither of us think people fully understand all the horrible stuff that's happening in statehouses around the US, it's something we're passionate about, and hey, trans people date too. We keep this mostly light but talk about the most recent Texas anti-trans bill, recent trends around the country, why lawmakers are likely pushing for these bills, and what people in these states should be doing to stay safe in these times.
Some people are probably confused about what gender-affirming treatment is; here's a link that goes through details.
The article Joel mentions on trans individuals in sports is here.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Welcome back, true believers! It's seemingly that time of the year again, when the Guy siblings debut a new and improved significant other and grill them mercilessly until they either accept their fate at as test subject in our podcast social experiment or break up with us. Fun times either way.
Naomi's beau Len appears in a puff of smoke to talk about himself, prior relationships, what it's like being engaged at a young age, why it's difficult to express feelings, emotional abuse, and the problem with relationship labels. Joel also hosts a round of "Way Too Personal," a gameshow so good we keep forgetting both to do it and that it even exists.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them. If you're interested but not sold on the merits of the platform, give us a holler and we'll talk about why we chose and continue to use it.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Welcome back to part 2 of our crossover episode with Bibi of the Princeton Cannabis Review. Now that we've exhausted the basic topics we wanted to discuss, we get into the juicy bits, talking about drug use in relationships and what should be acceptable, getting over a divorce, and how dating changes as you age.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Find Bibi's work at theprincetoncannabisreview.com and on Instagram at /princetoncannabisreview. You can find her podcast on all streaming platforms.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It's the first ever Guy family podcast crossover episode! We bring in Bibiana Princeton, longterm friend of the show and host of the Princeton Cannabis Review to talk about dating in the 1970's and 1980's, changes she's seen in modern dating culture, the importance of good romantic role models, and trashy romantic tv series.
The ending music for this episode is from j^p^n's remix of Kanye West's Love Kanye.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Find Bibi's work at theprincetoncannabisreview.com and on Instagram at /princetoncannabisreview. You can find her podcast on all streaming platforms.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Lauren is back to chat with Joel and Naomi about stuff that's been in the news, including that weird stuff with the US stealing from the Aghani Central Bank, Rasmussen's horrible survey on trans issues, JK Rowling and Joe Rogan bullying people with their platforms, Free Nichelle, the awful Pam and Tommy show, and Valentines Day facts. There was unfortunately not enough time to get into the wonders of crypto dating surveys, but maybe that will make it into its own episode.
Current Affairs has an interesting piece on trans individuals in sports that pushes back against many misconceptions/oversimplifications. Please keep in mind that almost no one is arguing against trans individuals in sports in good faith; there are deeper longterm agendas at play, as evidenced the recent Texas law classifying transgender youth support as child abuse.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
And we're back to finish up "The Gift of Fear," as well as comment at length about the craziest plot twists of that leaked "Batman" movie. Upon reflection, while it was a bold choice to have this set in Twilight universe, we think it was a little chaotic for Robert Pattinson to play both Edward Cullens and Bruce Wayne in the same film. That said, maybe this means such classic villains as "Hemo Goblin" can make an appearance in future DCU projects now.
Naomi and Joel discuss useful characteristics for identifying people (with like fifty caveats), potential markers of violence in individuals, the elements that influence making effective predictions about people's behaviors, workplace violence, and leaving abusive relationships. On the whole we keep the tone light-hearted, but maybe keep a Squishmellow or tub of Ben&Jerrys nearby just in case.
Fun fact, this is the first episode Naomi edited, so you're morally obligated to listen to it if you're her friend.
You can find a copy of "The Gift of Fear" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Just in time for the most romantic holiday of the year, we have the first part of a two-parter deep dive into "The Gift of Fear," Gavin de Becker's 1997 book on respecting your intuition and identifying dangers to yourself, whether out in public or in relationships. if you've ever wondered if there are ways to semi-accurately detect and deal with threats, this is the episode to listen to. If not, you still may get something out of our discussion on Carrie Fisher, figurative and little minefields, kangaroo fight strategies, and chicken nugget shortages at the grocery store.
You can find a copy of "The Gift of Fear" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
We're getting close to that special time of year, and rather than posting this day-of, we thought we'd give you all a week to internalize some lessons on Valentines Day and use them when enticing your beau next week. Listen to us bicker about how to best show your love to your SO (or friends and family in your life), the problem with single-day occurrences, bad gift ideas, and which holidays (besides the day in question) are the sexiest. Joel was deeply committed to the idea that Oktoberfest is sexier than July 4th; we'll let you decide.
Looking for a way to use leftover Valentines chocolate up? Stella Parks has a great Chocolate Cookie Recipe that you can throw all your miscellaneous chocolates in.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
2022 is the year to go all out and try new things (as we discussed a few weeks ago, the two stands for "Too Much Fun"), so Joel and Lauren are back in the studio with a new type of episode. Joel presents a collection of relationship-related posts from Reddit's online etiquette forum "Am I the Asshole," and discusses the intricacies of each question and whether the asker was in the right to act a certain way or totally botched each situation. If you've ever wondered how to handle extremely specific relationship scenarios, we're got some perspectives that may help you out.
As always, if you have a thorny relationship problem, feel free to send it to datetheseguys@gmail.com. No promises on the quality of our answers, but we'll at least give it a shot.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Welcome back, to the second episode of a sibling-based podcast with only one sibling. Naomi needed to...I dunno...return some videotapes, so Joel was left alone to interview his pal Noah about dating with a background in Speech and Debate and dating in higher education/the Ivy League. Look this isn't a "Bad Faith" podcast situation where the whole premise is two hosts but one has mysteriously disappeared and the other refuses to comment on what happened to them; sometimes just life gets in the way, okay?
Joel and Noah talk about their past at a liberal arts school, the role inquisitive minds play in dating, how open-mindedness can actually be a drawback in relationships, dating at Harvard and the general area), how your choice of college degree can really effect your dating prospects, and a whole gamut of other things . They do get a little crass, but nothing that should deeply offend the sensibilities of people.
The movie clip is from the Social Network (the intro scene where Jesse Eisenberg is a dick to his girlfriend). That's right, we use the word "dick" now - this podcast is really shifting into high gear in 2022.
The intro music is from "The Boys are Back in Town," by Thin Lizzy.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
We strongly urge our listeners to support the work of Planned Parenthood by donating here. Patreon donations are sweet, but there are more important causes to support.
Interested in starting your own podcast? Check out our Buzzsprout link to get a $20 giftcard for signing up to host through them.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
And we're back with part 2 of our discussion of Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That," a book on recognizing abusive patterns in relationships. We continue our discussion by diving into types of abuse, the characteristics of abusers, when the Queen of England is going to die, and the siblings brainstorm writing a Predator-style action film starring only abuser archetypes. This is best appreciated by listening to part one, but we do summarize the content of that at the top of the episode.
You can find a copy of "Why Does He Does That?" here.
Our apologies to Jaleel Ahmad White for the use of his likeness.
Joel enjoyed "Gone Girl," which is a pretty straightforward murder mystery by David Fincher. Even if you don't see the movie, the trailer (like most Fincher trailers) is great.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Opening 2022 with a bang, we've got Naomi finally back in the studio to discuss "Why Does He Do That," a early 2000s book on relationship abuse by Lundy Bancroft (we don't think there's been a more recent edition published, but there really needs to be given all the post-MeToo developments in modern culture). We discuss general stats on abuse in America, abusive relationships in media, and debunk some stats people have about the general profile of abusers. Shockingly, we keep this conversation mostly cheerful; might just be all the holiday cheer reserves we saved up in December.
You can find a copy of "Why Does He Does That?" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Well it finally happened. Naomi went off on vacation without Joel, leaving him alone to defend the house from comedic intruders. Will he have time in-between fashioning improvised and frighteningly deadly traps to record a podcast episode by himself, or will Christmas (fine, the week of January 3rd) be ruined?
Joel chats this week about anti-trans rhetoric, responses to common attacks against trans people, and the media ecosystem surrounding trans rights, all in one take. Look, if Birdman can get Oscar hype for shooting a whole 2 hour movie in one take, doing an hour-long podcast episode in one should be worth something. (in all seriousness, Birdman is awesome. Go see it)
Here's a good eggnog recipe. Don't double it; one batch is more than enough.
Here is a link to Dr Julia Serano's Medium blog. She has multiple articles covering trans issues and has written several books on the topic.
Here is the Current Affairs piece with Dr Serano.
Here is a link to the video Shaun did on the BBC article I cite.
Here is a link to The Killer's "All These Things I've Done." It's a bop.
As always, our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Our tanks are nearly empty as we make a final pass over this year, but we figured we had just enough in us to get out one more episode before the sun finally sets on 2021. No, we're not making any generalizations about how 2022 is going to be; let's just all cross our fingers and hope for the best.
This week we discuss the reasons relationships lose their spark over time, techniques to bring that shine back (including the importance of doing new things), and why you should set some SMART goals for 2022. One of ours is going to involve getting drunk and watching the surefire Owen Wilson smash hit "Marry Me," a movie which will definitely have no problematic messages about love, relationships, or Owen Wilson's actual acting ability. So turn up the Yule log, gather round the podcast player with a bowl of chestnuts, and tune in to the last WWNDTG episode of 2021.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Say what you will about 2021, but at least it's nearly over, right? Sure, it went on a little past it's best -by date, but in only a week or so it will be confined to the annals of history. That said, it isn't going down easy, and we're here to talk about some of the recent events which may impact 2022 moving forward. This week we're discussing Ghislaine Maxwell (we're not fans), parental leave and sexual misconduct bills in Washington, sexism/harassment in the gaming industry, and the future of abortion in America. So get yourself a cup of cocoa and warm yourself by the light of your incandescent Christmas tree bulbs as we tell you about the latest and greatest events of December.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Given that abortion rights in America are going to vanish sometime before the next fiscal year, we figured now was the time to provide some clarity on what the procedure actually entails, misconceptions people have about abortion, and, just for laughs, throw some moral arguments into the pot (apologies to all of our English teachers who told us never to discuss this in public). This is less fun and whimsical than some of our other episodes, but at least Joel doesn't try to provide thoughtful introspection about the state of our modern world (mostly), so we consider it marginally more listenable in that regard.
If you need guidance on how to obtain an abortion in your area, please check out Episode 17, where we give you some specific guidance on how to do so.
If you need recommendations on where to find doctors who can assist with tube-tying or vasectomies, check out this list.
If you want to discuss whether or not to get an abotion with non-judgemental individuals, check out All Options.
Current Affairs article on progressive approaches to abortion can be found here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
31 episodes in and we're finally tackling the elephant in the room, the on-going crisis that's been making it difficult to date for years. No, not capitalism, (we understand how you could be confused), but rather the unending covid-19 pandemic and all the roadblocks to dating it's put up. We dig into predictions about how covid would affect dating from early 2020, discuss our own experiences, and then dig into 2021's "Singles in America" survey, which interviewed 5000 American singles to determine what people should be doing to make themselves more eligible in these trying times.
Find the "Singles in America" overview and survey data here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It's been 2 months since the Guy siblings caught you up on their wacky and wonderful misadventures in the world of dating, so we're back to fill you in on what we've been up to and how Joel nearly botched his whole Eurotrip.
Lauren Pauls, a free and independent woman (who also happens to be Joel's gf), joins us to discuss Joel, dealing with a traveling partner, and her experiences in online dating (all of her own volition). Naomi also talks about the changes she's seen in her life since she turned 21 and how she thinks that'll affect her dating life moving forward.
Check out desertpawsrescue.org to support a good cause this holiday season!
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
You ever forget about a jar of something in the back of the fridge and find it again after a few months, maybe the same quality as before, maybe now covered in a thick layer of mold? Unrelated, but we maaayyyyyyy have recorded this in late October and are only releasing it now. Some stuff still is super relevant, some stuff....weeelllll, it may not be as fresh as when we bought it.
Joel and Naomi return to talk about topical issues like the Chinese government and abortion policy, new legal penalties for miscarriages, the strikes occurring all over America, climate anxiety, more horrifying stuff Facebook (we refuse to call it Meta) did to destroy our civilization, and our hot takes on that weird comedy routine Dave Chappelle did. No, not that bit in the "Nutty Professor," the other one. You know which one we're talking about.
(Also unrelated, but is anyone else surprised they haven't tried to do a soft reboot of the Nutty Professor yet? Eddie Murphy is still a draw and Dolemite is My Name, starring him as a wacky, somewhat offkilter performer, was great. We're just saying...if any of our listeners have connections to Industry, we have some ideas that could take the premise in a whole new direction)
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Part 2 is here, never fear, we’ve got the sweet sweet info you were craving on how to effectively voice concerns and get stuff changed whether in a romantic or professional setting. Our accountant Ted says we should probably start charging for the second part of these and gatekeep the good stuff for that half, but we’re ignoring his advice for now. He has some great advice on corporate tax loopholes though. Do you know that you can write off capital acquisitions on your businesses’ taxes? Well, you can, and we’ll be broadcasting soon, tax-free, from the DTG moonbase.
Joel cites a scene from Pulp Fiction and both butchers the context and forgets Uma Thurman’s name. He apologizes. You were great in that film, Ms Thurman, as well as Kill Bill. Not sure why you followed that with My Super Ex-Girlfriend, but I suppose everyone needs a passion project.
We can’t find a place to buy Crucial Conversations directly from the publisher; check out ThriftBooks and AbeBooks to find it deeply discounted and not support Amazon.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Wow, 27 episodes now. That's like the average length of a season of the Simpsons. Sure, they’re funnier, more culturally iconic, have 33 seasons of content, and are generally better animated, but the comparison just writes itself, right? Right?
Welcome to Part 1 of the Crucial Conversations discussion. Joel’s found the principle of this book to be monumentally helpful in his daily life so he’s subjecting Naomi (and by extension, you) to it. The book deals directly with how to handle emotionally trying, relationship-defining conversations with bosses, colleagues, friends, family, and partners; if there’s something you’ve been meaning to talk about with your SO, maybe give this one a listen. Or just download it and keep putting off listening to it until you lose your phone. Either one helps our growth, but we would really prefer the former.
We can’t find a place to buy Crucial Conversations directly from the publisher; check out ThriftBooks and AbeBooks to find it deeply discounted and not support Amazon.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It’s the Guy Sibling 6-month anniversary episode spectacular, featuring a special guest performance, plenty of non-sequiturs, and even more of the hard-hitting information you’ve come to love us for. No, we didn’t put together a greatest hit compilation, but we think there’s plenty of reasons to celebrate with us. Come sit around the campfire and listen to us talk about the coming American STI surge, common ways people acquire STIs, and what you can do to get treated. If you live in the Phoenix area, please consider getting tested; find more information at stdaz.com
Our apologies to Judy Collins. Please send all requests for royalty payments to our attorney, Dave.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It’s that spooky season again, and you’re probably wondering what you’re going to wear to the hottest parties in your area. Perhaps you’re going by yourself, or perhaps you’re going with a partner, which makes finding the perfect costume all the more difficult. Never fear, the Guy siblings are here, and we’re going to walk you through the principles of the perfect costume, discuss what makes couple costumes great, and run through a list of some of the hottest ideas in costumes today. Yes, this relates to our podcast, just, y’know, slightly less directly than the sex ed episodes. Look, if it makes you feel any better, Joel was wearing a skimpy mermaid costume as we recorded. Interested in listening now?
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Well it's finally come to this. We're rubbing our noses in the sordid dirt of our personal lives rather than pretending we're blemish-free and competent enough to give dating advice. It's whatever. No one was coming for Joel's gameshows, so we had to resort to something to keep the crowds coming in. And besides, this is just Naomi's business, so Joel gets to remain clean and pure in the eyes of y'all. Woot woot.
Naomi's friend Beyonca comes and joins us to analyze a longwinded text-message Naomi received from a recent-ex. And we do analyze; all three of us are former liberal arts students! Marvel as we dissect the meaning behind an uncomfortably long (we're talking Harry Potter length) text, talk about what went wrong in the relationship, and share our thoughts on how guys deal with rejection.
Episode was recorded with one microphone so we could get it out asap. We're talking 20 minutes from end-of-recording to upload. This is fresh content in it's trueest form, so cut us a little slack.
Go check out Carrie Underwood's Dirty Laundry.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
…did ya miss us? C’mon, I know we’re not best friends or anything but it has been a week since we last saw each other…just wondering if you were thinking about us at all. No reason.
Trey and Ashley conclude a marathon recording session in part two of our time with them. This one is not a directly sequel to the topics and heady themes discussed in part one; instead, we tack a different course and discuss Ashley’s knowledge of and experience dating with HSV-2, one of the more common STIs. Don’t fret; we keep things nice and easygoing, just like part one. Don’t think that means PG, though. We’re no Disney film.
Find Ashley and Trey living their best lives @Wu_harris and @lifew_amb.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Come on, come all, to our funniest, most heart-warmingest, most spectacular episode by far! This 2-parter episode was recorded one balmy afternoon in July 2021, but due to a series of comedic missteps that will one day make their way into an award-winning screenplay, it has not seen the light of day until now.
Naomi's good friend Trey and his girlfriend Ashley visit the Guy Siblings studios to talk about modern love in a delightful two-parter. This first part deals with their trials and tribulations in the dating world and Trey's experience as a young parent, part two deals with...well, you'll have to wait and find out!
Find Ashley and Trey living their best lives @Wu_harris and @lifew_amb.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Ahoyhoy! It’s us, the Guy siblings, coming to you live from our floating studio docked on the scenic shores of Tempe Town Lake! At least we were live at the time of recording, not sure if we’ll still be live by the time you read this. I dunno. This is flavor text, right? We can’t be sued for false statements in our flavor text, right?
It’s been many moons since we talked out our dating lives, but now Joel and Naomi spend an hour doing just that, catching you up on where we stand and how this podcast has changed things. You probably don’t care about us that much, but Naomi then reads off a handcrafted list of dating profile content she gathered over the last few weeks. Joel reacts with genuine pain and they discuss what not to do as a male writing a dating profile in 2021 (and some possible red flags people should look out for).
Find some great JOKER memes here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It's part 4 of our basic Sex-Ed series and we're finally discussing pregnancy, you know, that baby-producing process most millenials and zoomers seem to want to avoid these days. We don't really get why; sure, there's swollen bits and nausea and weird bowel movements and the constantly needing to pee and uncontrollable weight gain and strange pica compulsions and the leaking mammary glands and the weird way society and those closest to you start to treat and all you get out of it is a baby at the end, but it otherwise seems pretty cool. We assume someone somewhere will need information on pregnancy at some point, and if you're doing your best to avoid a pregnancy (again, kind of confusing on why), here's some info on wives' tales that might help down the road.
In case you missed our announcement, we have a Patreon now! Subscribe to support our work and get access to every episode a week early, polling on what topics you want to see in the future, bts photos, merchandise drops, and a little bit more!
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Howdy, y'all! We're just stopping by to wish you a happy day and let you know about our big step forward in branding and business. We've launched a Patreon for our podcast to help pay for episode editing and fun little side projects; if you have any spare change each month, we'd greatly appreciate your support.
Next week's episode is already up on Patreon as well as some bts photos and polls for future episode content. If you want to shape the next few months of content and see us looking dapper, check it out.!
https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
We get it, no one reads the news anymore. Print is dead, digital is dying, the future is viral tiktok journalism, yada yada yada. We’ve all heard the excuses a thousand times, which is why we’re here to summarize everything that’s happening and give you our takes on some recent events from the end of August through mid-September. Yes, we skip over a rousing discussion of Kanye’s Donda album, but that’s only to make room for plenty of talk about the OnlyFans kerfuffle (and reversal), Afghani women, Texas abortion bans, abortion in other countries, Whatsapp privacy concerns, the Guardian’s Judith Butler interview, dress codes, and Joel’s concerns about that Matrix 4 trailer (yes, it’s relevant to our podcast).
Joel cites a scene from No Country for Old Men and gets the line right but the context completely wrong. We’ve included a clip; all credit to the Coen Brothers.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It's part 3 of our basic Sex-Ed series and we're finally on to the fun topics of body parts, transgender individuals, and statistics on sexual activity? Want to know the average penis size? What percentage of people are having sex on a consistent basis? A surefire way to tell how much sexual experience someone has? Well, we discuss everything but the last one.
This should be one of the last episodes with audio difficulties. As of the time of writing this description, we are back to independent mics, like the consummate professionals we strive to be.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Howdy, y'all. We figured we'd take a break from our sex-ed series to rustle up some conversation on that there Texas abortion law that the Supreme Court, bless their hearts, decided to let stand. Why dontcha sit down with a glass of sweet tea and a chicken fried steak and listen to us...aw heck. There really aren't a lot of good ways to make this topic fun to talk about, so here's the deal. Texas now has a horrible anti-abortion law that is going to hurt a lot of women. We had some strong feelings on it. so we recorded an emergency episode last week to discuss what it will do to abortion rights and how you can fight against it, both in and outside of Texas. If you're upset about what this means for the future of US abortion rights, maybe listen to this one.
We discuss a bunch of resources in this episode; here are links to a few:
https://www.plancpills.org/guide-how-to-get-abortion-pills#find-pills
https://www.reddit.com/r/auntienetwork
https://abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/
https://aidaccess.org/
https://www.exposefakeclinics.com/cpc
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
It's part 2 of our basic sex ed series. Part One was Consent, many moons ago, and now we're getting into healthy relationships and warning signs of abuse. We keep it upbeat but do be warned that there are still some mature themes in this episode (ie abuse: we don't mean taxes and high fiber diets).
One other thing to keep in mind; the endless audio difficulties never cease. This was recorded with one omnidirectional microphone due to some hardware problems; the quality is fine, but we're going to get back to independent microphones soon.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Oh man, our fifteen episode milestone. You know what didn't get 15 episodes? Firefly. What a fun tv show. You should watch that. We think that mostly holds up, as long as you kind of "death of the author" the whole thing. You know what else was fun? Dollhouse. Inconsistent messaging and really weak second season, but, hey, same will be said about us when all is said and done, right?
Springing right off the success of our current events episode, Joel and Naomi return to discuss how you can master the art of small talk and banter. Unsure how to approach people? Unclear what to do once you're talking? Tune in and we'll give some quick tips for how even introverts can conquer any conversation, professional, platonic, or romantic.
You can purchase "Art of Captivating Conversation" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Okay, we get it. Long-winded regurgitations of all the boring books Joel’s read are boring. Joel’s boring too. You think we don’t know that? Trust me, we know that.
To give you a reprieve, we’re talking about current events, all the hip and cool topics going on at the time of recording. Sound editing takes time though, so if you’re confused by any of our references to American Idol or the Gulf War, know that we got it out as soon as we could.
Joel and Naomi tackle a hodge-podge of topics in this one, ranging from BS at and about the Olympics to unruly airline passengers, Brittany Spears’ conservatorship (status has changed since we recorded), Andrew’s Cuomo’s sexual misconduct, and Cori Bush’s recent work to delay evictions. No dumb book-stuff here, just the Guy siblings, uncensored and uncut.
You can find Scroobius Pip’s song, “The Struggle,” here. Famed angsty teen Joel thinks his best work can be found here.
Current Affairs has a great piece on trans people in sports here.
The Brittany Spears clip this episode comes from “Gimme More.”
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
We got a zesty episode for you this week, one that digs right into mankind's oldest profession. No, not stone-masonry, the other one. Joel and Naomi dig into "Revolting Prostitutes," a comprehensive discussion of international sex work that links together the fight for sex worker rights with fights for women's rights, racial equality, and a more equitable future. Tune in to learn more about the history of the profession, why basically every attempt to regulate it fails, why enforcement only makes working conditions worse, and what countries are doing okay and downright terrible jobs at regulating the industry and keeping people safe.
Order a copy of "Revolting Prostitutes" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Joel’s longtime friend Giselle drops by to talk about her dating life, thoughts on dating apps, building a perfect dating bio, and arranged marriage, for some reason. Learn what an experienced dater looks for in men and what you can do (regardless of your sex) to improve your dating profiles. Joel also busts out another round of the “Price is Wrong,” a lovely gameshow beloved by all (spoiler alert: Naomi’s loss streak remains unbroken).
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Sup, fam. This episode was recorded a few weeks back before we had some audio issues straightened out. Joel is very proud of the fact that the audio issues this time were all Naomi’s fault. Please make sure all angry emails are directed to her at naomi@definitelyrealwebsiteurl.org.
Joel and Naomi get together in this one to talk about WHO’s recent recommendation that women of “child-bearing age” not drink alcohol. This leads into a discussion about the weird way WHO frames the issue of alcoholism, societies’ tendency to infantilize women while also treating them as needing to be more responsible, and fun stats on fetal alcohol disorders.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
And we're back, with part 2 of our series on destress techniques. Joel actually did some research and found a great resource on actual techniques for coping in stressful situations, a book called... Coping Skills (surprise, surprise...). Written by Faith G Harper, a Phd, LPC-S, ACS, and ACN, this book explains actual techniques that therapists and professionals use to deal with stressful situations. You know, things like bad breakups, separation anxiety, new relationship responsibilities, partners who don't carry their weight, etc. We'd strongly suggest reading the book yourself, but if you want the quick and dirty summary of destressing tips (and want to know more about stress itself), check this episode out!
Find "Coping Skills" here.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
See what we did there? Pretty cool, right? That’s why you’re listening, for all the “Guy” related puns. Maybe “pun” is a little generous, but hey, if something fails, “Guy, Guy, Again.” (See what we did there? Aw, nevermind)
There’s a lot to be stressed out in the modern world, which can affect both how you treat yourself and potential partners. Joel and Naomi talk about self-care, including what they do to stay happy and healthy, why you shouldn’t trust all these companies with their silly mental-health programs, and some general principles for remaining mentally well in and out of relationships. Good stuff all-around. This is part 1 of a 2-part episode; next week will go over certified-fresh self-care and destress techniques, straight from the experts.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
More like “Guy School Dating,” amirite? Sheesh, these are getting old, aren’t they? We’re 8 episodes in and we’ve got to run out soon, right? Right? Right!!!!?!!!!
Naomi’s longtime friend Tazmin joins us to talk about dating in HS, Catholic School boys, and working in the wonderful world of ice cream. She also pulls a fast one and debuts her very own gameshow segment, possibly in an attempt to spin off from our series and do her own show. We’re not too concerned; “Date This Taz” doesn’t roll off the tongue nearly as well.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Warning: Joel screwed up our audio. Like really bad. Like, disabled our microphones and recorded it entirely on his laptop while he ate Taco Bell bad. Our sound guy has done his best, but there’s only so much he could do.
That said…we wanted our first guest episode to be with one of our good friends, someone who we could carry on a laugh-a-minute conversation with for an extended period. They wouldn’t pick up their phones, so we got Rj instead.
Joel’s college pal Rj comes on to talk about his dating history, his successes and missteps, as well as what it’s like dating in Los Angeles (the big city) in your twenties. Joel also takes the chance to debut his new bit, “Way too Personal,” the second gameshow within a podcast within an extended therapy session between us siblings. Come for the content, stay for the iffy audio setup!
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Strap in for a real doozy of an episode, one that actually explores the premise of our podcast! Shocking, we know. Sorry, that horny Tempe episode seemed too time-sensitive to ignore. The Guy siblings discuss how younger Millenials and Zoomers are delaying certain life markers (marriage, children, etc) and how that may not be either their fault or even necessarily bad. Naomi also debuts her first bit , "Venom," and makes Joel squirm by deeply probing his actual knowledge of women's issues. Oof.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
We’d like to think we’re on top of all things relationship and dating related, so when we heard that Tempe, AZ had been recently awarded the title of 9th Horniest City in the US, we knew we just had to discuss it. Listen to our dissection of famed-pollster Lawnstarter.com’s incredible survey (spoiler alert, it actually sucks) and our attempts to figure out how one would actually be able to measure a cities’ true horniness.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Oo boy, we’re starting out strong with an uncomfortably long episode on consent. You know, what it is, why it’s important, and where it applies. This is not the funnest of episodes, but is probably one of the more important we’re going to do. Stick around the whole way through for the first rendition of “The Price is Wrong,” the only ethically-produced, fair-trade podcast gameshow.
Seriously though, we may get into some uncomfortable topics like sexual assault. Maybe skip to the end on this one if you feel the content may be triggering.
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Listen up, buckaroos! It’s Naomi’s time to shine! She’s gonna tell you exactly what you need to know to understand who she is and how you can be her perfect partner! She may also share the secret of where the Guy-family gold is buried, so even if you don’t plan on dating her, it’s worth tuning in! (Note to self, make sure we cut that part about the hidden Guy treasure trove in editing. Would be really embarrassing if that made it through).
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
You came back for more? Awesome. We appreciate your love of the arts. Or is this more like watching Nascar for the crashes? Doesn’t matter; you’re here, which means we can start throwing Squarespace ads at you.
Listen to Joel give an honest-to-god tell-all dating bio. Learn his likes, dislikes, awesome traits, what he’s looking for, and some of the mistakes he’s made along the way. If you started listening to obtain kompromat on him, this is the episode for you!
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)
Listen up, dudes and dudettes! It’s the very first episode of our podcast and already we’re struggling to articulate its reason for being! Join us for a whirlwind exploration of who Joel and Naomi are, why we’re doing this podcast, and where we think this thing will go! (Joel is still hoping we become a “Serial” ripoff at some point, but Naomi has so far vetoed that possibility). Thrills, chills, and comedic spills, all in one mercilessly short package!
Our theme music is “Drop” by the artist Ketsa. If you like their music, you can find more of it here.
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/datetheseguys)