The Why Not Me Podcast: Recent Episodes
Denita Bremer
By sharing my story and life coaching tools, I help women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints know they aren't alone and they are always enough, even if they have a shame-filled life story. Together we will shame-proof our lives one story at a time.
In this last episode of the Regulated & Restored Podcast I talk about alignment: some signs you are in alignment, some starting practices, and some possible signs of being out of alignment. I tell you how I knew it was time to start a new podcast and what alignment feels like to me. I hope you'll join me over on the If I'm so Blessed Why Can't I Feel Good Podcast, and I've included the 5 min pilot episode here for you, so you can get a taste of it.
If you'd like to join the Podcast Launch Team (I hope you will!) click here.
You can find If I'm So Blessed, Why Can't I Feel Good on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/if-im-so-blessed-why-cant-i-feel-good/id1733936159
and on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/19RxSLNODHBL6LrZ4uzgwe
I recently realized how much I was telling myself I didn't have enough energy, so I dug into that. This episode is what I learned-- a totally different way of looking at this statement and what it means. Phases of trauma response come into play. If you are looking for more energy, this episode is for you! Plus, I give a pretty big announcment at the end of the episode, both as an example of energy and as an announcement for you, the listener. Full Show Notes
I had an experience recently through some inner child work, in which I learned that none of this matters and you can do whatever you want. There is no final grade for being a good mom or coach or wife, or whatever it is you do. You can relax because nobody has power over you (except you). Listen in as I describe my experience and the steps for you to start doing your own inner child work on your own.
Show Notes
Do you know what your most important problem is, or why you aren’t working on it? In this episode, I walk you through a short exercise to gain some wisdom and clarity around your most important problem. I talk about my experience answering these questions, and tell you why you want to know the answers to these two very powerful questions.
Links for things mentioned in the episode:
Re:Thinking episode with Adam Grant and James Clear
Atomic Habits
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
Presence
Firm up your Fundamentals (free learning and coaching)
Have you ever wondered why some people learn self-help methods and it "works" for them, and others it doesn't? I was in the boat of "this isn't working" and I think I figured out why it wasn't working for me. You might be in the same boat, and if so, this episode is for you. Knowing why could help you on your journey to being your favorite self.
Want to join me to Firm up your Fundamentals? In 2024 I am focusing on 8 fundamental habits to help myself feel better consistently and I'm inviting you to join me. I'll send emails with teaching and tips and then roughly every 3 weeks we will meet together for a coaching call, and it's all FREE. Join here: https://denitabremer.myflodesk.com/fundamentals
I've been pondering how my identity or self-concepts are influencing following through on this book project I have. I thought I would share some of my insights as I've considered the power of identity. I talk about have conflicting identities, when letting go of identities threatens the ego and feels terrible, and how identity plays into the pride cycle from the scriptures. Enjoy! I would love it if you left a review or shared this episode with a friend, thanks!
denitabremer.com
denitabremerIn this episode I talk about the difference between resistance that comes from inside of you and resistance that is outside of you. When you are doing a good work in the world, there will always be resistance. Often times the resistance shows you your path. But differentiating when to follow or allow the resistance and when to ignore or manage the resistance is helpful.
Wanna connect? I welcome questions, introductions, and conversations. Email me: hello@denitabremer.com
Because I am not active on social media, I would greatly appreciate your rating, review, or shares! Thank you so much!
If you're interested in coaching with me, please visit denitabremer.com for the latest offerings and prices.
I am not a doctor or psychologist and any advice mentioned in this episode should not be a substitute for medical or mental health care.
In this Gift of Presence series I am interviewing a few of my clients about their experiences inside my group coaching program, Presence. In this episode, I interview Celia Corson. Celia grew up on and inherited a ranch. She has been doing the deep work of healing with coaching. Celia shares many reasons why she loves Presence.
You can connect with Celia on her blog bluebellsinblizzrds.com or email her at bluebellsinblizzards@gmail.com. You can also ask about trophy elk hunting!
Presence is my one year small group somatic based coaching membership. If you join Presence before January 6, 2024 you will receive a bonus of 6 private coaching sessions. The price to Presence goes up on Feb 1, 2024, so now is the best time to join! Register to attend a Presence Demo on January 4, 2024 so you can experience Presence before you commit.
https://denitabremer.myflodesk.com/enzhzrjqrl
Full Show Notes
I’ve been interviewing my clients about my group program, Presence, but today I have a private client, Corrie Woods. Corrie and I have been coaching together for four years, so she has witnessed my evolution as a coach. She talks about why she continues to coach with me, and some of her favorite things about coaching with me. Her words give you a deeper peek into what coaching with me is like. I hope you enjoy.
You can connect with Corrie on Facebook at Corrie Woods Coaching. She is currently helping women heal from and through divorce.
Presence is my one year small group somatic based coaching membership. If you join Presence before January 6, 2024 you will receive a bonus of 6 private coaching sessions. The price to Presence goes up on Feb 1, 2024, so now is the best time to join! Register to attend a Presence Demo on January 4, 2024 so you can experience Presence before you commit.
Full Show Notes
In this Gift of Presence series I am interviewing a few of my clients about their experiences inside my group coaching program, Presence. In this episode, I interview Rebecca Kent. She is also a certified coach. Rebecca talks about why she joined Presence and how it has changed her life— and her coaching.
You can connect with Rebecca on Instagram at @leadingwithlovecoachingllc
Presence is my one year small group somatic based coaching membership. If you join Presence before January 6, 2024 you will receive a bonus of 6 private coaching sessions. The price to Presence goes up on Feb 1, 2024, so now is the best time to join! Register to attend a Presence Demo on January 4, 2024 so you can experience Presence before you commit.
Full Show Notes
My entire journey with Presence started with a simple one sentence from a book: “It is not what we say, but the very fact of our presence that has the healing effect.” (The Map of Consciousness Explained by Dr. David R Hawkins.) I believe that my presence can have a healing effect on the world. Because of this belief I want to improve my presence, and embody love. I believe you can do the same. Give yourself the gift of Presence.
If this is something that calls you, consider joining my one year, somatic based small group coaching program. The cost is $222/mo or $2222 a year until January 31, 2024. Then the price goes up. As a bonus for joining me before January 10th, you'll receive 6 private sessions with me. Because Presence is really hard to describe, I'm holding a free demo so you can experience it before you commit. January 4, 2024 at 11 am MST. Register here for Zoom information.
In this Gift of Presence series I am interviewing a few of my clients about their experiences inside my group coaching program, Presence. In this episode, I interview Jacqlin Guernsey. She is a certified coach, but has changed focus to writing and has one published book with another on the way. She coached with me 1:1 for over a year before joining my group. In this episode we talk a lot about creating safety and the importance of that in a healing journey. She also says something that brings me to a full circle moment. Listen in to find out what it is.
You can find Jacqlin on Instagram at @authorjacqlinguernsey or find her book, A Song of Thieves on Amazon.
Presence is my one year small group somatic based coaching membership. If you join Presence before January 6, 2024 you will receive a bonus of 6 private coaching sessions. The price to Presence goes up on Feb 1, 2024, so now is the best time to join! Register to attend a Presence Demo on January 4, 2024 so you can experience Presence before you commit.
Full Show Notes
When you live in the present, you live in God's timezone. And this place feels abundant and expansive. Ideas, promptings and intuition become clear. In my group program, Presence, we build the skill of living in God's timezone. Come join me for a Presence demo on January 4th, 2024 at 11 am Mountain Standard Time. Register here for zoom information.
Meditation has been the single biggest tool in my presence practice. I know you might think you can't meditate, but have you tried all the kinds of meditation? Have you tried guided meditations? Have you tried mindfulness meditations? Meditation doesn't have to be sitting in silence. It is supposed to be a bit difficult because we are humans with busy brains. If you want to be more present a strongly encourage you to create a meditation practice. If you need help with that, it's part of what we do in Presence. Come to a Presence Demo on 1/4/24 and I will lead the group through a tension release meditation. Register here.
An essential element to my coaching is helping my clients create a felt sense of support in their bodies. So many of us learn to be self-sufficient as a way to survive. Asking for support, and feeling into it, is one of the first steps to healing. Come experience what I mean by this felt sense of support by attending my Presence Demo on 1/4/24 at 11 am MST. Register for information and Zoom link here.
I know a lot of people are gonna disagree with me when I say there are no problems in the present, but listen in as I make a case for it in this episode. Register here for the information and Zoom link to the Presence demo to be held on January 4, 2024 at 11 am MST. Come experience the work we do in Presence.
Questions? Dm me on IG and ask away!
Presence is feeling. Presence is embodiment. In this episode I attempt to explain what I mean and why it's important. I want more presence for you. I believe when we do the work to be more present, the world changes for the better. Come join me TODAY for a free Presence demo. We meet at 12 pm MST for an hour over Zoom. If you can’t make it this time, we are meeting again on Jan 4th at 11 am MST. Register HERE for the Zoom info.
One of my favorite things about practicing presence is that it helps me invite in other types of knowing than just logical knowing. There are so many good and amazing things that happen when we do this! Listen in to hear a few of them. I invite you to a free Presence demo tomorrow December 20th at 12 pm MST. Register here to get zoom info. If you can’t make that one, I’ll send a replay, but you can catch a second Presence demo on Thursday, January 4th at 11 am MST. Feel free to dm any questions over on Instagram.
My friend and client is on the podcast today to tell you about her experience in Presence, my group coaching program. I hope you'll take a listen, even if you know you don't want to join the program. There are lots of good nuggest in this one.
Right now when you join Presence, my intimate year long membership, you will receive 6 bonus private calls . And on 2/1/24 the price to Presence goes up along with the features offered. Now is the best time to join! Click here to sign up for a PRESENCE DEMO on either 12/20/23 at 12 pm MST or 1/4/24 at 11 am MST, or dm me on IG to see if Presence is right for you.
Presence. Mindfulness. Meditation. Usually we associate these things with stillness. But I don't think presence always means stillness. Listen in to see what I mean. Right now when you join Presence, my intimate year long membership, you will receive 6 bonus private calls . And on 2/1/24 the price to Presence goes up along with the features offered. Now is the best time to join!
Click here to sign up for a PRESENCE DEMO on either 12/20/23 at 12 pm MST or 1/4/24 at 11 am MST, or dm me on IG to see if Presence is right for you.
There will be times when we can't or don't want to be present, and that's ok too. This was a revolutionary idea for me when I learned it; be only as present as you have capacity to be. The point is to always be present, but to be aware when you are aren't and come back if you want. Right now when you join Presence, you will receive 6 bonus private calls . And on 2/1/24 the price to Presence goes up along with the features offered. Now is the best time to join! Click here to sign up for a PRESENCE DEMO on either 12/20/23 at 12 pm MST or 1/4/24 at 11 am MST, or dm me on IG to see if Presence is right for you.
I often find myself amazed at how things I think should come naturally actually take a lot of work and practice. Presence is one of those things. I personally find freedom in the idea that Presence takes practice. It relieves me of the pressure to do it right. Listen in to this episode to find out how the practice of Presence is a virtuous cycle. Right now when you join Presence, you will receive 6 bonus private calls . And on 2/1/24 the price to Presence goes up along with the features offered. Now is the best time to join! Click here to sign up for a PRESENCE DEMO on either 12/20/23 at 12 pm MST or 1/4/24 at 11 am MST, or dm me on IG to see if Presence is right for you.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love sent to me... an episode on how understanding the nervous system helps with being present. It's a huge part of how I coach the members inside Presence, my small group membership. Right now when you join Presence, you get 6 bonus private sessions with me! Bonuses all around!! Join me on a Presence Demo to see if Presence is a fit for you right now. I'm holidng 2 sessions before this bonus goes away.
Get more information here. Merry Christmas!
On the first day of Presence, my true love sent to me... a podcast about the fundamentals that make it easier to be present. Food, water, breath, movement, joy, gratitude, presence. When you have the fundamentals in place, being physically and spiritually present is much easier. And that's what we all want, right? Right now when you join Presence, my intimate year long membership, you will receive 6 bonus private calls . This bonus along with the price going up on February 1, 2024 makes this the best time to join! Presence is for Latter-day Saint women who want to feel better. Schedule a free session or reach out in dms on Instagram to see if Presence is right for you.
We are all human and we all say and do things we later regret. I notice this the most with my mom clients who wish they could go back and change something. Well, now you can. Based in an understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I believe we can effect change in ourselves and in whatever ripple effect our actions back then took. I explain how in this episode.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session!
Join Presence!
If you feel anger about a situation or a relationship, there might be some self-forgiveness needed. In this episode, I step you through a process to forgive yourself and let go of anger.
Schedule a free session!
Full show notes
I want to break down in really simple terms what each nervous system state needs or wants. This will help you be able to identify what state you’re in and what to do about it. Sign up for my group coaching program, Presence before January 6, 2024 and receive a bonus 6 private sessions with me. That’s a smokin’ deal! Get the process started here.
Full show notes
If you try to get better at feeling your feelings, you might notice resistance coming up. In this episode I talk about two primary ways to respond to resistance that will help you.
When you sign up for Presence between now and January 6, 2024, you receive a bonus of 6 private sessions with me. Sign up for a free session to explore this option.
Full show notes
When I meet with clients for the first time, I explain to them how being willing to feeling their feelings can make a big difference in their lives, but I always get the same question: How do I feel my feelings? So I thought I would demonstrate what I mean. Listen in as I process the feeling of tired in this episode.
From now until January 6th, when you sign up for Presence, you get 6 bonus private sessions. Sign up for a free session to explore this option.
Full show notes
Do you wonder if you have trauma, but “nothing really bad happened?” If so, this episode is for you. We discuss the difference between abuse and neglect and how it might be showing up in your life.
It might be trauma if...PDF
Full Show Notes
Schedule a free session
Some recent personal revelation has lead me to today’s episode. I have to talk more about Jesus from here on out, and this episode explains why. Spoiler: it’s because He is the true source of all healing.
denitabremer.com/the-solution
Schedule a Free Session
Feeling is a skill. It doesn’t come easily to all of us, especially if trauma is part of the picture. But why would we want to develop it? In this episode I give you about a bajillion reasons why you might want to (I didn’t count them, so don’t quote me on that number!) develop this essential skill that you might not even know you are lacking.
Full Show Notes
Schedule a Free Session!
A lot of people I know struggle with allowing conflict because they are so afraid of contention. It causes them to not show up as their true self, which can lead to trauma and just cause a lot of other secondary effects in their lives. On this episode, we talk about the difference between conflict and contention, why it’s helpful to understand it, and how to stay in healthy conflict. You’re gonna wanna listen to this one!
Links
Parenting with Presence workshop registration
Free session
LDS Living article
7 ways to resolve conflict article
All in Podcast
Ways to work with me
Slingshot
We are finishing up the Self-love series with an episode about concrete tools to use in your practice of self love. At the end of this episode is a meditation to support you in your journey.
Schedule a free session!
Why do you even want to love yourself? How does it help with anything, or is it just a woo-woo concept? There is a continuum of self-love and there’s one specific place I recommend starting on the continuum. Listen in to find out more.
Links
Schedule a Free Session
If you don’t know how to love yourself, this first episode in a mini-series is one you will want to tune into. In this episode I talk about how loving yourself can be complicated and why.
links
Schedule a Free Session
Does thinking about trauma make you feel like something is wrong with you? That is probably because the medical industry and/or our culture pathologizes trauma. But trauma is actually a very normal, common, and healthy response to life’s difficulties.
Links
Schedule a Free Session
Denita on Voxer
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
The Body Keeps the Score
Are you overwhelmed? I used to answer that question as a no, but then I learned what overwhelm actually was. In this episode you’ll hear the definition of overwhelm from a trauma perspective, different types of overwhelm, and 5 tips to manage your overwhelm. I gave this presentation a few weeks ago, so if you’d like the slideshow that goes with it, download it here
Links
Schedule a Free Session
What are boundaries and what do they have to do with trauma? Listen in to this episode as Denita discusses this topic with Boundaries Coach, Mary Brown.
Links
Mary's Website
Mary's Instagram
Schedule a Free Session
People often tell me, “I should figure out my trauma, someday.” So in this episode I’m identifying 5 obstacles to doing so and my recommendations for each one. Spoiler alert: you don’t have to figure out your trauma if you don’t want to. Included in this episode is an exercise to help you with managing priorities.
Are you struggling with trauma and finding it hard to ask for help? In this episode we discuss why asking for support is actually a sign of strength. You are not alone in your struggles, and healing is always possible. Tune in to this empowering episode to learn more.
Links
Schedule a free session
Perfectly Hidden Depression by Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD.
Find me on Voxer
You build self-trust by consistently and reliably meeting your own needs. You figure out what your needs are by dropping into your body, feeling what is there, following urges, and staying connected (or on your own side) the whole time.
If you’ve ever found yourself trying to plan for an action or a feeling and just couldn’t decide, you may have been trying to control and uncontrollable. I believe the answer to this is the trust yourself instead. Listen in as I explain why.
Links
Small group membership
Schedule a Free Session
The #1 thing my clients want is connection. So they seek out self-help tools. But what happens when the self-help tools lead to disconnection instead of connection? In this episode, I discuss 5 ways this happens and 3 things to do about it.
Membership: https://denitabremer.com/presence
Full Show Notes: https://denitabremer.com/?p=6805
Free Session: https://denitabremer.com/scheduling-free-session/
The skill of presence has been the number one thing that has helped me heal from my trauma and emotional wounds. In this episode I give 5 reasons why you should practice presence and several more about why we don’t make time for it. I hope you will see the value in practicing presence after listening to this episode.
Links
Podcast episode on the Latter-day Life Coaches Podcast
https://denitabremer.com/presence
Full Show Notes
Do you always feel like you are in a hurry or can’t stop and rest? You may be stuck in an active response, which is trauma. Think about how you can shirk this feeling of constant urgency and feel more rested and healed.
Links
Schedule a Free Session
The Doors to Presence... A group somatic experience!
If you’ve ever felt like there is something wrong with you, or as if you can’t figure out how to be happy and healthy, perhaps it isn’t you but the culture you live in? In this episode, I talk about how American (and other western) culture is very toxic and leading to more and more illness, especially anxiety and depression.
Full Show Notes
Free Session
When I am looking for a coach, I want to know their story and how they came to their work. It’s more about WHO the practitioner is, not what I will get from the work. I realized I haven’t told the full story of how I came to this somatic, trauma work yet. This episode is the backstory to why I am a somatic trauma coach. I hope you enjoy.
Full Show Notes
Schedule a free session!
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Wendy Watson Nelson
Jody Moore’s podcast Better Than Happy (I no longer recommend them, but I do recommend https://thecoachfirm.com)
Bev Aron’s Advanced Deep Dive Certification
Danielle Cohen
Shyla Cash & Embodied Healing Systems
If you are a believer in the Law of Manifestation, you may have wondered if feeling your negative emotions causes you to manifest what you don’t want. Listen in as I give you my take on that question and discuss the merits of feeling your feelings, and where that fits into the work I do around trauma.
Full Show Notes
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How do you know the difference between a nervous system state and an emotion like fear? In this episode we discuss the difference between fear and a nervous system state. You’ll learn how to think of fear in a healthy way, and what to do when you are feeling fear in the moment. And we answer the unspoken question behind this question.
Full Show Notes with Transcript
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I have something to celebrate, and I want to share it with you. After listening to this episode, you will understand the value of celebration, as well as some things that inform my coaching to bring you and my clients high quality, in depth coaching.
Full Show Notes
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Shyla Cash's Website
I recorded this episode with my oldest kiddo, my daughter Nina. Nina was diagnosed with depression a few years ago and we’e learned some things along the way that we thought we would share with you
Full show notes
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Link to my Instagram
Do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells? You know, that tight, rigid feeling? Then this episode is for you. We talk about bracing patterns: what they are, what they look like, where they come from, and what to do about them.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session!
Chat with me!
Nervous system and trauma work can be very incremental, so it can be difficult to see the benefits clearly. I had an experience that showed me clearly how my nervous system has increased in resilience. This is a vulnerable episode because the experience I had was intense, but I thought it was worth it to share with you how somatic work can help us become more resilient.
Definition of Resilience
Full Show Notes
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Have you ever felt both activated and like you had no choice? Then this episode is for you. Understand the link between lack of agency and trauma.
Full Show Notes
Schedule a free session!!
Listen in as I share a very recent lightbulb moment about why waking up is so hard for me. It’s not just that I’m a night owl, but that I’ve experienced multiple traumas around waking up. If you struggle to get out of bed in the morning, this episode is for you. I hope you gain validation and understanding from my experiences.
Full show notes
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Episode 12 Sleep Shame
"It might be trauma if..." Free PDF
Even though we are often told to calm down, we don’t actually always want to, nor should we. In this episode, I talk about when you don’t want to calm down, what it looks like, and I give several exercises to help you metabolize the active energy in your body in a safe way.
Full show notes
Schedule a free call
Links
The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski.
"It might be trauma if..." worksheet
What is the relationship between weight and trauma? In this episode, Denita speaks with Corinne Crabtree. Corinne is a weight loss expert and a highly successful coach. Corinne shares several practical tools on where to start to create a positive relationship with your body and with food. If you struggle with body image or weight, this is an episode not to miss.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
Links
ACES weight loss program
Listen & subscribe to the Losing 100 Pounds podcast
Corinne's free weight loss course and website
Corinne's advanced weight loss coaching certification
Corinne's no BS Business Women Membership
Follow & tag Corinne on social media!
Losing 100 podcast Facebook
Instagram- @Corinne_Crabtree
No BS Business Women Facebook
No BS. Business Women Instagram- @NoBSBusinessWomen
If you’ve ever heard yourself say, “I just want to be able to relax!” then this episode is for you. In order to be able to relax, you have to figure out why you CAN’T. Here are 5 possible reasons.
Links:
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
If you use the discount code accompanied by this link you will get $40 off!
https://ouraring.com/discount/25958017c1
https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/7-types-of-rest/
There isn’t an agreed-upon definition of trauma and there’s lots of terminology about trauma that can feel confusing. In this episode, I define several of these terms and explain how they are related to each other. I use several examples to help you start to connect the dots about all kinds of trauma.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
My website
I had an experience this week feeling my own increased capacity and it helped me realize how important this somatic work is. I discuss the relationship between capacity and time/money/energy, and describe my experience.
If you also want to experience increased capacity, I strongly invite you to join my somatic group coaching program, Presence. The doors close 3/31/23, and when they close, lifetime access for the cost of only one year goes away also. Don’t miss it, check it out now!
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
Join my group Presence!
After the series on the core needs, I had a friend reach out with a couple of questions, and I thought it might be useful for you to hear the answers too. I discuss how attachment theory (the core needs), the nervous system and trauma are all related.
Full show notes
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Creation coach certification
Join my group: Presence
Our final episode in the 5 part series on our core needs, I discuss the need of love and sexuality, what happens when this need is and isn’t met, how it can affect our self-esteem, what this unmet need could look like in real life, and if Heavenly Parents can meet these needs for us. I felt the Spirit flowing and guiding my thoughts in this one, so I hope you enjoy!
Full Show Notes
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Join my group: Presence
I get to rave about something I've loved in this Bonus Episode. I've become an affiliate for the Creation Coach Certification with Brooke Snow. I became certified last year and loved the program. If you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or are Christian, and you love self-development/self-help, you'll love her course. And if you've ever thought about becoming a coach, this might be the program for you. You can sign up now through March 20th 2023 when the program starts. And if you use my link (yes, I'm an affiliate, and yes I get a small commission) you will get to join my Voxer accountability group. All year long you can ask me any question about the course, coaching, business, or get coaching for yourself as well. Everyone who signs up through my link will get access to this group. So you'll also get lots of accountability and encouragement from a small group of people. I have no idea how many people will sign up using my link, so it might just be you and your accountability partner (a bonus for signing up-- you get to designate one person as your partner for no additional cost!) and me! I'll be going through the program again this year with you! I go into way more detail about what I love about the Creation Course and what I loved about the Certification, so you can tell if this is for you right now or not. Feel free to ask me any questions by emailing denita @ denitabremer . com. I'm excited for you if you decide to join this round! Sign up here.
The 4th out of 5 in a series about core needs, in this episode we cover the need of autonomy. Autonomy is the need to be independent and assert ourselves in the world. When this need is not met we can form shame around needing to be independent, which can show up in a variety of ways. Listen in to understand the Cycle of Autonomy and how shame over autonomy might look for you.
Full Show Notes
Schedule a free session!
Join my new group: Presence
In this episode we are discussing the third core need: trust. Trust is built upon the first two core needs of connection and attunement. Trust is integral to all relationships. When the trust need is not met, we can develop shame over feeling dependent, vulnerable or weak. Tune in to hear how this might look in your life.
Links:
Full Show Notes
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There are 5 core needs humans (and all mammals) experience. In this episode I talk about the need for connection. When our need for connection is not met, we can feel shame for 1. simply existing, 2. feeling or 3. connection. Listen in as I explain what that might look like in real life.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
Join my new group: denitabremer.com/presence
Like the popular Beatles lyrics say, there is a prevalent belief in our culture that “Love is all you need.” But love is NOT all you need. You also need attunement. Love and attunement are very different, and both are needed for proper health and development. In this episode I explain why, and what happens when we don’t receive sufficient attunement.
Full show notes
Schedule a free session
My new group: denitabremer.com/presence
You may be familiar with mindset coaching, but do you know what somatic work is? When I shifted to trauma coaching, I also changed my primary modality to somatic work. One "issue" I find, is that many people don't know what somatic work is. So today I'm giving an overview and a peek behind the scenes into my coaching sessions. I give lots of examples of what it might look like, but keep in mind it depends on the client and the session. Listen in to find out what somatic work entails. Full Show Notes
Schedule a Free Session
My new group: https://denitabremer.com/presence
Download journal questions here.
The most frequent question I get is "What is trauma?" The next most common question I get (after I explain trauma) is "So... does everyone have trauma?" The answer I give is "Most likely, yes. But not everyone needs to resolve their trauma."
Tune into this episode to find out why I say this and if you should actually take action to resolve your trauma or not.
Full Show Notes are here.
Download journaling questions here. Sign up for a free session here. The inaugural session of Presence is next week! Come join the group if you want to create more peace, connection and aliveness in your life. We will create a safe and courageous space, practice regulation and co-regulation, learn somatic tools, and increase our presence together in order to overcome the most pressing struggles in life. This is a one year membership with a monthly payment option, but if you pay in full for this first year by 3/31/23, you become a founding member and get into the membership for LIFE!
denitabremer.com/presence
Many of you struggle to speak your mind. I find this is an element of the freeze response, so please don't feel guilt or shame about it. In this episode, we review nervous system states and talk specifically about the freeze response and why we find it difficult to speak up for ourselves. Full Show Notes
Presence- somatic-based group coaching experience
Connect with me on Voxer @denitabremer or email denita@denitabremer.com
Sign up for a free session
Journaling Questions
In this episode I share some personal revelation I received that I think will help anyone. Tune in to hear what I'm learning it really means to "come unto Christ." In this episode I talk about Christ centered meditation, my own personal obstacles, my current goal, and how I've fallen short for so long.
My new somatic based coaching group: Presence.
Full show notes
Connect with me on Voxer @denitabremer or email denita@denitabremer.com
Here are four more ways to reflect on things that might be right for you, and things that might not be. In this episode, I focus on the FEELINGS different actions give you, and what you can learn from those feelings. I hope this helps you consciously decide what to let go of and what to develop more this year.
Full Show Notes Journaling Questions Get information about Presence, my somatic-based coaching program Sign up for a free private session
What will you sacrifice and what will you develop and dedicate this year? This is the episode I need right now, and I hope it will help you as well. Full Show Notes
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We are doing a crash course of attachment theory in this episode. We all have an inherent need for connection and an inherent need for authenticity, but sometimes the two are in opposition to each other. Understanding this can help you have empathy and compassion for those around you, and for yourself.
Links Journaling Questions Get more info about group coaching Schedule a free session Full Show Notes
The most common question I get is: How do I know when something is trauma versus when it is simply a highly charged emotional experience? Understanding the phases of trauma response answers this question. Tune in to hear what essential events must take place for trauma to occur. This will also help you understand what nervous system state you might be in, so you can start to heal. Links: Full Show Notes
Schedule a Free Trauma Assessment Session
Interest list for Group Coaching starting February 1, 2023.
When we talk about trauma, it's easy to want to point a finger of blame. But fault or blame is different than taking responsibility. When it comes to what happened, the perpetrator of the trauma can be responsible. But healing from that trauma can only be your responsibility. In this episode I discuss why that is, and how to move from a victim of your trauma to a creator of solutions and fully take responsibility for your own healing.
Links:
Full Show Notes
Download Journal Questions
Schedule a free Trauma Assessment
Come to Drop in Coaching
In an ideal world, we would all be calm, curious, connected and creative all the time. But we don't live in an ideal world. There are many things every day, every hour, every minute that take us out of a regulated state. In this episode, I'm explaining the mechanism that gets us back to regulated: your nervous systems. Yes, plural. Listen in to gain a deeper understanding of your miraculous body, and the multiple systems working in your favor. Links:
Full Show Notes
Journaling Questions to print or download
Visual aids
Drop in Coaching
Schedule a free private session
Gratitude can help with trauma. First, it shifts us from scarcity to abundance almost instantly. And secondly, practicing gratitude ahead of time can help you more easily create what you want in your life. Learning to feel grateful for your trauma can shift your identity quickly.
Get the journaling questions to print.
Get information about Drop in Coaching.
When we truly understand that trauma is PHYSICAL, and not just some airy-fairy idea that isn't tangible, we can do something about it. Specifically, we can support ourselves physically. In this episode, I talk about several ways to consider supporting yourself physically. Don't get overwhelmed by the list; choose one area and start small.
Download or print the journaling questions HERE.
Join me TODAY (November 21st) or any Monday at 12:30 pm MST between now and December 12th for Drop-in-pay-what-you-want coaching. Get the Zoom information HERE.
Ready to ask for support in your trauma healing journey? Go to my website and sign up for a free call. denitabremer.com
Full show notes can be found HERE.
Although we are recovering from a pandemic when loneliness was at an all-time high, loneliness has always been a big problem. It is one of the essential factors to trauma. In this episode, I explain why and give you a few tools to combat it.
Full Show Notes
Get the downloadable printable journal questions in PDF.
Wanna talk back? Connect with me on Voxer or by scheduling a totally free Safety Session.
When we are talking about depression or other uncomfortable emotions, it's understandable to want to change it, fix it, to be somewhere else. But the first step is always to make peace with where you actually are. Because you can't get to where you want to be, if you don't accept where you currently are. In this episode, I talk about that resistance, and give you some journaling as well as somatic exercises to help.
- Full Show Notes
- Get Ep 102 Journaling Questions pdf
- Get notified for Drop-in Coaching (pay what you want)
- If you are seeking life coaching support, schedule your free session with Denita here.
Disclaimer: Denita Bremer is a life coach and not a therapist or certified/professional counselor in any capacity. The advice she gives in this podcast should not be construed as medical advice, and should be thoughtfully considered for each individual's circumstance. If you feel like taking your own life, please dial 988 on your phone or click here: 988lifeline.org
What do you do when it's time to release a podcast episode... and you have no voice?
You release your first meditation!!
I recorded this meditation a few weeks ago for some clients. Meditation can be a great tool to use in trauma healing, as long as it doesn't take you away from your body.
As you listen to this meditation, use it as a guide, but make it your own. Enjoy!
No show notes this week, but there is a drop-in pay-what-you-want (even if that's nothing) coaching session this week. Wednesday, November 2nd at 12 pm MT. Click here to get more info and to sign up for future days and times and Zoom information.
https://view.flodesk.com/pages/635472066c4cf33281b5ef48
There's a fresh new look and a new name for the podcast! So what do I mean by "trauma healing?"
I discuss what trauma means and how it's related to depression, anxiety, chronic stress, toxic shame and many other prevalent "conditions" in our culture.
I tell you my hopes for the podcast going forward and give you 3 journaling questions:
- When in your life did you experience too much, too fast or too little for too long?
- How did this affect you?
- What “symptoms” do you struggle with that could possibly be a result of this?
Journal these questions privately, share with a friend for an intimate discussion, or head over to Voxer to share with me and start a conversation. I'm @denitabremer on Voxer.
Join me for drop-in coaching free or by donation on Wednesday October 26th at 12 pm MT. Find out more here: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/635472066c4cf33281b5ef48
Full Show Notes can be found here: https://denitabremer.com/?p=6286
I didn't simply want to announce the winner of the Why Not Me 100th episode podcast.
So I'm giving yet another book recommendation and talking about this concept of asking "What is needed?" that has come up for me in 2 different areas. I hope it helps you as well.
Along with announcing the winner, I also have 2 other exciting announcements that I hope you don't overlook.
- Some exciting changes for the podcast!
- New drop in coaching by donation (or free!). Sign up for my email list to stay informed about when that will happen (first one is Wednesday October 26th at 12 pm MT) and for Zoom link information. I'll also send you a free pdf about trauma.
You can find full show notes with links to any pertinent details here.
We live in a depression and anxiety inducing world. So what is the antidote?
Rest. True, restorative rest.
We must create spaces and places for this rest. And the Gospel of Jesus Christ is actually a great space for this if you know what to look for.
In this episode, I continue the garden anaology from last episode and make a case for turning the action items of the gospel into reminders to pause instead. And I tell you why I don't think we naturally do this. Listen in.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast giveaway to win a pair of apple airpods by tomorrow, October 18th.
- Get on my email list here
If you are feeling stuck in any way, this episode might help you understand a crucial step that you missed along the way.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast Giveaway here
If you want more ease and less overwhelm in your life, join me today and shift your paradigm to a higher level of consciousness. Make one simple, but powerful change.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast Giveaway Here.
Today I'm coming at you with a recent sacrament meeting talk I prepared. In this episode I answer the question, What prevents us from allowing Jesus Christ to be the author of our story, from Sister Camille Johnson's October 2021 General Conference talk.
Just as a teaser, we are all like Simba. Listen in to find out how.
As usual, I include a story from my own life, and my own conviction of what I know to be true. I hope you'll join me.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the 100th episode giveaway-- it's easy! And it will help me share the concepts in the podcast with more people. Thank you in advance!
Have you ever wondered how to become who you want to become? Have you wanted habits and change to feel easier?
Today I'm interviewing Tyson Bradley about his book Inherent Identity. We discuss how to make these changes in a very grounded, aligned way.
Tyson has a process that will make remembering who you are very practical. He walks me through the process in this episode. You'll find out more about me, and you'll be able to apply the process to whatever you want more of in your life. I hope you enjoy my very first interview!
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast giveaway- it's easy!
Looking forward to General Conference, but not looking forward to the spiritual overwhelm that so often accompanies this blessed weekend?
I have a few strategies for you as you prepare for Conference in this episode.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast Giveaway
If you want to understand the scriptures better and apply them to your life, I have one simple (but not always easy) tip for you this week. I also have several examples from my own life to help you conceptualize what I mean.
- Enter the Podcast Giveaway
- Full Show Notes
I'm popping in for just a couple minutes today because my very intimate group closes on Monday. If you consider yourself a coach, you won't want to miss it.
In this quick episode, I walk you through a really simple exercise to help you understand the impact of your presence. Whether you join my group or not, I hope you find it helpful!
Join Presence for Coaches
Enter the Podcast Giveaway
Full Show Notes
If you or someone you love is struggling in your faith, this episode outlines 10 thoughts or actions to consider.
Please leave a rating and a review on Apple podcasts. If you do that and then fill out this google form, you can win a pair of Apple airpods. If you refer a friend to the podcast and they win, you will also get a pair of apple airpods. This giveaway is not affiliated Apple or Apple podcasts. Thank you for entering!
https://forms.gle/6P5tFqrEG1eBBHAA9
You can find the full show notes here.
We are always more powerful than satan. So why don't we speak like we are?
In this episode, I give you my thoughts on how we got here talking as if satan is "trapping" and "getting" our children. And I give two suggestions on what to do about it.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the Podcast giveaway
What if we all only applied the scriptures to ourselves and never to other people? Wouldn't the world be a much kinder place?
Listen in to my thoughts about this topic and to hopefully become a little more like Christ as we put down using the scriptures as a weapon.
Full show notes
Enter the Podcast Giveway here
No matter what you are going through, and I know some of you are going through very heavy stuff, there is always hope.
In this episode, I explain how and why I believe this, and one way to look at trials that will make it easier to have hope. We also discuss proving faith vs. perfecting faith.
Never stop hoping. No matter what.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the podcast giveaway
I read something in a book I just started, and just HAD to share it with you today.
It's a confirmation of something I've been pondering for a few months now, and I think this will help you be a better coach and/or mom.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the podcast giveaway
In today's episode I talk about the three phases of faith I learned from Jared Halvorson, how they relate to human development phases, and how I see these phases in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an entity unto itself.
This concept has helped me immensely and I hope it helps you understand yourself and others in relation to their faith journeys.
- Full Show Notes
- Enter the podcast giveaway
If you are a coach and you want to uplevel the experience for your clients listen in as I describe a new small group experience I am launching September 7th.
Presence is a skill that most of us aren't very good at. But if we develop it, we can make the world a much better place and become better coaches. This skill has improved my life in so many ways this year.
To find out more information, please go to denitabremer.com/for-coaches
And if you want to enter the podcast giveaway, click here.
Thanks for listening. I hope you win the giveaway, and I hope to see you in Presence for Coaches. Denita
This episode is for anyone who has felt like living the Gospel is sometimes too hard, or that you need a break from the strict rules. Is that really how God is, or is that simply our perception of Him?
There's a pen and paper exercise to go through to help you uncover some of your thoughts about God and yourself.
Don't forget to enter the podcast giveaway! Leave a 5 star rating and a review with one takeaway from the podcast and then fill out this form to win a pair of apple airpods!!
Full Show Notes
We have a love/hate relationship with social media, right? It connects us to people we love, but sometimes we spend too much time doing nothing when we have other priorities. This has been my experience at least.
After almost a year of wanting to step away from social media for an extended period of time, I finally did it. And not without some hesitation and fear. But it was a great experience, and now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm sharing 10 lessons learned.
If you have a business this episode may especially interest you, but even if you don't and you want to spend less time on social media, I think you'll find lots of value in this episode.
FULL SHOW NOTES
Enter the 100th episode podcast giveaway here.
What's the difference between jealousy, envy and coveting? And should you feel guilty for all of them? How does knowing these things help you in your relationships? I cover all of this in this episode.
Don't forget to enter the 100th episode giveaway by listening to 1 episode, leaving a 5 star rating, and telling me one takeaway from the episode in your review. Then fill out this short google form so I can contact the winner.
FULL SHOW NOTES
If you ever hear yourself say, "I'm just so worried about their eternal welfare" you may be taking on some of God's responsibility unnecessarily. Learning to stay out of God's business and in your own allows you to be yourself more freely with less energy spent.
- Enter the 100th episode giveaway
- Full Show Notes
- Schedule a Free Session
You can get to know someone by the books they read. This year, I've read 20 books-- and I took off 6 weeks from reading-- and there are some themes I've noticed from reflecting on these books that I want to share with you.
FULL SHOW NOTES- all the links for books I mention in the episode.
Enter the Giveaway
Presence creates connection. And we all want connection. In this episode, I give 10 practical tips for building your presence muscle.
I also announce a fun giveaway coming up for episode 100. You won't want to miss this announcement!
Full show notes
Google form for the giveaway
Schedule a free session
You know how you feel resentful, disconnected and frustrated in your relationships? I think it might be because you've been practicing shutting down your desires. The antidote is to get back into practicing your desires.
In this episode I talk about how ignoring our desires affects our most important relationships, how this often comes to be, and how to practice your desires instead. I hope you'll try it.
FULL SHOW NOTES
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What does it mean to hold space and how to we do it? Holding space is a valuable skill to develop in order to be the best mom, wife, sister or friend you can be.
Full Show Notes
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Have you ever wondered how to not react? Making space is the answer. In this episode, I give you 6 things you can do to make space within yourself and in your relationships... and why you want to.
FULL SHOW NOTES
Schedule a free session.
I am in the middle of a 3 month social media sabbatical, and I just finished 40 days of "Only God's Voice," no podcasts, no books, very little consumption. I'm sharing 5 takeaways from this experience in this episode. I hope this episode will give you hope and build your faith, the way this experience has for me.
FULL SHOW NOTES
Schedule a free call
Much of our anxiety comes from dwelling on worst case scenarios in our minds. In this episode I give you 5 thoughts and tools for what to do when you notice yourself in the space of imagining the worst.
I'm holding the Understanding Trauma workshop again on June 2nd at 12 pm MDT. Click here for the zoom info.
Full Show Notes
Why do we celebrate? Why do we NOT celebrate? What role does celebration play in our lives? Does celebration come easily to you, or is it more difficult like it is for me?
In today's episode, I give you 4 points to think about when it comes to celebration, to hopefully help you celebrate more often.
Congratulations to the high school and college graduates, and to YOU for anything you've done or been recently that is good and right.
Schedule a free session link
Full Show Notes Link
What is the point of this life coaching work we do? What's the point of looking at our thoughts, or processing our feelings, or even taking action?
The point is: to change. But not just any change. Change in order to grow-- in a way we want.
Change comes with discomfort, but it will be so worth it. In this episode, I give 6 thoughts about change that I hope will help you move toward change more gracefully and in a way you want for your life. Don't forget to register for my Understanding Trauma workshop this Friday, May 20th at 11 am MDT. Click HERE.
For all references in the episode, please click here for the FULL SHOW NOTES.
We talk about our lower brain and its motivations, so what about our higher brain's motivations? That's what this episode is about.
Get details for the upcoming class, May 20, 2022 11 am MDT
Full Show Notes
I find that most of us don't know HOW to FEEL.
In this episode, I talk about WHY this is, and then give some tips on how to feel-- as a starter.
This will be an important episode to listen to, especially if you tend to focus on either what to DO or what to THINK.
Full Show Notes
Register for my upcoming free Understanding Trauma workshop.
We all know about fight, flight and freeze responses. But did you know about fawn?
The fawn response is one of the most common and yet socially acceptable, so overlooked nervous system or trauma responses.
Today I'm talking about what this might look like, and what to do about it.
Full show notes and more information
It Might Be Trauma If... PDF
Lazy is such a loaded word in our culture. Rest assured-- you are most likely NOT lazy the way you think of it. In this episode, I'm showing you a way to use the word lazy in your favor. Especially if you find it difficult to slow down and do things for yourself.
Full episode notes
https://denitabremer.com for free PDF and free sessions.
An essential ingredient to trauma is a feeling of danger or unsafety. Safety is not something that comes from outside of you, but something that you feel within you. Expanding our sense of safety is a big part of the work I do with my clients. Listen in to see what I mean.
Full Show Notes
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Couple of announcements I made:
1. I have a new website! I would love it if you would poke around and give me your feedback using the contact form.
2. I will be leaving social media for at least 3 months, so I would SO appreciate any shares of the podcast or the website. Share with a friend who might benefit. Thank you in advance!
I've had a couple conversations with people recently in which I suggested what they were experiencing came from trauma, and they both said, "I've never thought of it that way, but I can see what you mean."
We need more education around trauma and how it's affecting us a seasoned adults, even when the inciting events are far in the past.
So today I am defining trauma and talking about our nervous systems.
I invite you to listen in and then go to denitabremer.com if you have any questions. (It's a new site- hooray!- and there's a contact form there.) Let's continue the conversation.
FULL SHOW NOTES
FREE SESSION
I've been working through trauma with a coach and learning about how much I didn't realize most of my life is a trauma response. In this episode I outline how I came to this realization and some resources that helped me learn. You probably don't realize how much trauma is still affecting you, so I invite you to listen in. FULL SHOW NOTES
Schedule a free session
If you made no decisions by yourself and simply did what someone else told you to do, would that fulfill God's plan for you? Would you learn what you were meant to learn? I think the answer is no.
I think God wants us to exercise our agency and learn by experience. This means we must allow ourselves to FEEL, and be connected to our bodies.
"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behaviors." I think this means "true doctrine, EXPERIENCED, changes attitudes and behaviors." And changing attitudes and behaviors by experiencing true doctrine, brings us closer to God. This is repentance.
Listen in to this episode to experience what I mean. :-)
Full Show Notes
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Did you know you have TWO identies? God gave both of them to you, but He wants you to give them both to Him.
We discuss why He might want this. More personal insights from the temple.
Full podcast notes
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We are in Doctrine and Covenants 121:34-46 today, talking about the phrase, "Many are called but few are chosen." How do we become chosen?
As promised, I am also sharing some insights from the temple. And this wouldn't be the Why Not Me podcast without some personal stories.
This one is full of scriptural, spiritual insight. I hope it brings new understanding to your identity in the Lord and how to do your work in the world.
Full Podcast Notes
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In the October 2021 General Conference, President Nelson mentioned the safest place to be when trials come is "inside your temple covenants." What does it mean to live inside your temple covenants? This was the question posed to a group of Latter-day Saint women as we gathered together to discuss. This episode is my takeaways from that discussion, which I think will help all of us strengthen our spiritual foundations, understand our identities, and connect with the Spirit. I know many blessings have come into my life since this discussion, and I don't think it's a coincidence.
Full show notes
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Come on a journey with me as I describe a visualization meditation I did in order to process sadness and anger.
My intention is to show you a specific tool you can use to process emotion, so that you might be able to use it yourself.
This episode is raw, vulnerable and spiritually sacred. Many people from the scriptures had to flee their own family who wouldn't or couldn't love them, so why not me?
Full show notes
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A conversation with a client inspired these thoughts about how sometimes we look "beyond" the Spirit. But feeling the Spirit can be easy and simple. Don't miss the Spirit because you are looking for something more complicated. The scriptures don't really describe HOW people feel the scriptures, which I talk about at length with lots of scripture references. Then I give ideas on how you might feel the spirit that you could easily overlook.
Full Show Notes
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I almost titled this podcast, "Why You Can Do It Even When You Think You Can't: The Benefit of Not Knowing. But it turned into an episode more about anxiety and faith. Still, I hope you will feel encouraged after listening to this episode. I know anxiety is one of the most prevalent problems in our world today. I believe true faith is the antidote.
Full show notes.
I had an experience last week where I truly felt and embodied surrender. And then the floodgates opened with amazing and enlightening insights.
In this episode, I describe in detail, my experience with surrender.
And then I teach 5 things I've learned about surrender, that I think will be helpful for you to understand.
FULL SHOW NOTES
"But it's my responsibility!" This thought gets in the way of so many mothers being the mother they want to be.
And it's becuase we take on responsibilities as if they were obligations. Most of them are subconscious. Let's look at them one by one and exercise our agency in deciding consciously which ones to keep.
Because if you are overwhelmed with responsibilities, you won't be the mom you want to be.
Tune into this episode for tips on how and why to rethink your responsibilities.
Full Show Notes
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How do you love someone who doesn't act the way you want them to?
The short answer is: it's hard but you can do it. It requires patience and courage and mental fortitude.
Learning unconditional love is one of my primary lessons in life. In this episode, I'm sharing what I've learned through many experiences of people not showing up the way I want and choosing to love them anyway.
I talk about what gets in our way of loving unconditionally (hint: it's our incapacity to move towards negative emotion), and mention several examples from my life.
I believe if we can get this one skill down, the rest of life will be much easier. Listen in.
Full Show Notes
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It's that time of year when everyone is talking about goals and intentions and words-of-the-year. And most of us know that these things usually fail within a few weeks. But why? One reason is because we don't get specific enough with our goals or intentions, so our brain doesn't know what to do and so we do nothing. Sound familiar? What does it mean to "do a morning routine?" Or "get healthy?" Or "make money?" These goals are way too broad. What you need is something like "write for 5 minutes at 7:30 am at my office desk." Or "go for a walk every day immediately after taking the kids to school." Your brain knows how to do those things!
In this episode, I outline a 5 step process to take you from a general intention to a specific process so you know what to do and when to do it. It was sparked from a discussion inside my 1% Habits Group, which you can join for a few more days (through January 15th). It's only $25 for 3 MONTHS. We are identifying the right habit based on identity. And sustainable growth is the name of the game.
Much of what I mention in this episode is based off of the work done by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. So if you like that, you'll like this.
Full Show Notes
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Our final Personality Blueprint installment and we are talking about one sentence that sums up your purpose. The Find Your Why exercise, made popular by Simon Sinek, helps you understand who you are at your natural best, and what your contribution and impact in the world is.
I personally, found this exercise to be enlightening, like values on steriods. My why statement has helped me to focus my life and my business.
Listen in as I describe the process and give you 4 of my takeaways. I also mention what is going on in Denita Bremer Coaching right now.
Schedule a free session
Full Show Notes
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Knowing your values makes your life easier. You are already living by your values subconsciously, but making that conscious help you make better decisions, feel more confident and create a strong self-image.
This is one of my favorite exercises.
In this episode, I explain why it's useful to know your values and how to do that.
Download my Values Discovery Workbook.
Schedule a free session.
Full show notes.
Today we dive into an overview of the enneagram and how it can help you understand yourself.
This particular framework is one of the most complicated to explain and understand. BUT it also has some amazing payoffs when you do.
Listen in if you are new to the enneagram, or if you are familiar but want to learn a few new things (I did myself prepping for this episode!)
Schedule a free session.
Full show notes here.
I have absolutely loved learning about my CliftonStrengths.
In this episode I tell you my path to finding my strengths, what I've learned and my top 5 strengths.
My hope is for you to be inspired to learn more about your own personality and strengths to better take advantage of your strengths!
Get on my email list to be the first to find out about a new coaching opportunity relating to these personality frameworks.
Full show notes here.
Join me as I introduce a new idea: my Personality Blueprint.
In this episode, I explain Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tendencies and how it has helped me.
This is part 1 of 5.
Full show notes and all links here.
Do you know your Myers-Briggs? Do you even know what I'm referring to when I say that?
In this 2nd part of my Personality Blueprint episode, I give an overview to the MBTI or Myers Briggs Type Inventory.
Understanding my type has helped me understand myself and relate to my children easier. I hope the same is true for you.
Full show notes here.
This episode will give you a little bit of an idea of how I work in my coaching practice, and what makes me a little different than many other coaches.
12 (Or 11?) ways I'm doing it "wrong."
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I've been thinking about what is really essential. Like, if I just chose ONE thing and put all my effort and attention there, what would be the ONE thing?
Identity and purpose for moms. I know that sounds like two things, but I explain how it's really one thing in the episode.
And what are the obstacles that prevent us from knowing our identity and purpose? Or if we know it, from living it?
Fear, doubt and confusion.
These are both spiritual obstacles and emotional obstacles.
I have some theories as to the antidotes, which I also discuss in the episode.
But basically- I'll reiterate what is in the intro: when you know who you are, you can be the best you at what you do.
Mentioned in this episode:
Greg McKeown
Henry B. Eyring
Bonnie Cordon
Julie B. Beck
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This week, I talk about a pet pieve of mine, which is when people say "Life is hard."
Words are important for many different reasons, so I examine why these particular words are not true, don't apply to everyone, and aren't helpful.
These same concepts can apply to other words you say often without thinking about them.
https://denitabremer.com/
Full show notes HERE.
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The holidays have been triggering to me for a long time. But this year, because I am working with a trauma coach, I have a new awareness and new tools to use. Although this is raw and somewhat unprocessed, I am sharing some insights about my patterns this year. I hope it helps you.
For full episode show notes, please click HERE.
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I believe when you know who you are, you can be the best you at what you do.
So in this episode, I dive into what identity is, because it's a key understanding we need in order to understand ourselves.
Ultimately, I think identity can't really be understood on it's own. It's like black holes; we understand them by what they are NOT, and by what happens around them. My personal opinion is that identity is our own beliefs and feelings about ourselves.
When we are not able to be our core selves, it creates resistance, struggle, and suffering. Who we are is not so much about adding skills and desires, but more about subtracting the fears and cultural programming that doesn't line up with our core selves.
I also believe that God wants us to become our fullest, best selves. I think that is a universal truth for everyone. I imagine heaven to be a place where everyone gets to be themselves unapologetically and they are not only welcomed, but celebrated for it.
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You may have noticed that the podcast has slightly new art and a new name! In this episode I am introducing the new name and the new direction the podcast is moving.
Don't worry, the stories won't go away completely!
I also mention how the Spirit speaks to me; how I often receive revelation.
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I've had some hard things happen in my life (as you know if you've listened to the podcast at all!), and I realized recently that my magic is turning it into joy-- or at least something more positive.
In this episode, I encourage you to look for the miracle, the strength, the grace, the favors the Lord has done for you. I tell a story related to Helaman 5:12 about winds and hail storms and firm foundations.
I also mention some fun new things coming to the podcast soon!
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If I may be so bold, I have some concepts to share with you that I think will be helpful in you being the good mom you want to be.
Being a good mom comes from your experience of being a good mom. I discuss some things to consider in this episode as you use your experience for wisdom in your motherhood. Of course, I mention a few stories from my life too.
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I'm inviting you to meander through my memories, because I believe when we tell our stories and listen deeply, we can change the world.
In this episode, I share several times when I got physically hurt, and my memory of who was there and how they responded. I'm noticing that often, I was physically taken care of, but not emotionally soothed.
If you want to hear more of my thoughts that aren't necessarily my stories, go HERE.
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I haven't told you about the first time (only time?) I stole something! I can't believe I forgot about this story for 40 weeks. Reflecting on this helped me see how and who I've always been.
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This week, I reflect on several instances when I spoke up and when I stayed quiet and the threads I learned. This episode is partially me processing what being "shy" has meant to me, based off of what I am learning about my nervous system. I focus on how I was made to feel alone and abandoned or hurt and ashamed.
If you would like my Starter Guide for a Shame Proof Life, click HERE.
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I had so much fun last week talking about an impactful person, that I'm at it again! I tell you about 3 people that would be on my fictional board of directors and why. Two more teachers and a favorite person in my life and how they made me feel. I'm covering what I learned from each of them.
Interested in my 1:1 coaching program? Sign up for a free chat HERE.
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In this week's episode, I'm reflecting on someone who was influential in my life-- Mr. Thornton. He was a middle and high school teacher of mine, and we just clicked. I tell several school stories in this episode, but especially how he made me feel that made him so meaningful to me.
I also invite you in to my new program at the end of the episode.
If you want to connect with me more, use one of these links:
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or I give my email address in the episode.
Today I'm getting really open and vulnerable by describing a moment when I was 14 and I really hated myself. I describe a tool you can use to help you go back to those moments and heal.
I'm currently enrolling for my new program School of Self. Email me at denita @ denitabremer . com for more info.
Value Discovery Shame Proof Starter Guide
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In this episode I divulge some "shameful" things about my parenting... yelling at my kids. I also discuss:
- Why you might feel like you can't stop yelling at your kids.
- What you need to understand to stop yelling at your kids.
- Why the Model might not work to help you stop yelling at your kids.
- Where yelling is in a vicious cycle.
- How your parents are affecting your parenting.
- How yelling does NOT mean you are a bad mom/parent.
How to connect with me:
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Fill out my survey (pleeeease!)
Parenting shame comes for many different reasons. Today I talk about two different occasions when I lost my kid. I still feel bad about them today. But lessons learned too.
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If you want to fill out my survey, click HERE.
This week we celebrate 20 years of marriage. I use this opportunity to get a little gushy about the great guy I married, strolling down over 20 years of memories. It hasn't all been amazing, but we've had both good stories and good times. My emotions are right at the surface in this episode, so be warned!
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In this episode, I talk about how my experience learning to ride a bike is like a big, fat metaphor for my entire life. I discuss over-identifying with emotions, and why I felt shame about this.
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I don't shy away from talking about difficult topics. In this episode, I talk about my experience with a father who served over 4 years in prison while I was a young adult.
I want everyone to feel like they belong, and how I do that is by telling my potentially shame-filled stories. Not all of them come with shame, but all of them could.
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If you have a few extra minutes, would you fill out my survey about the intersection of shame and faith? Thanks!
If you've ever judged yourself for talking too much or having too many words, this episode is for you.
Listen in for
- The time I gave a talk in sacrament meeting and spoke way too long.
- Being like Hermione Granger
- Leaning into it instead of pushing it down
- Verbal processing
Thank you so much for filling out my survey.
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The year 2000 was a doozie for me. After never having experienced a death of someone close to me, I had 3 in 3 months. In this episode, I discuss what that was like, why I felt shame, and what I think about it now. I talk about how to grieve, and why each of these losses were different.
I pay tribute to my best friend from middle school, Sara. She was one of the most wonderful people you would ever meet. It was a privilege to walk the path for a short distance with you, Sara.
Go to my website denitabremer.com to download my free Guide to a Shame-Proof Life. This will add you to my email list and you can continue the conversation privately there.
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If there's one thing that sets me apart from "normal" Church culture, it's my pre-marital sexual experience. In this episode I talk alllllll about it. If you had sex before you were married, this episode is for you!
I'm still taking responses on my survey.... and you can get a free coaching session if you'd like: https://forms.gle/UkAPt3LYYvGsQcYDA
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For 5 years we had no running water or electricity in our home. We had to haul water, and haul our laundry to and from the laundromat in the small town I grew up in. And over time, it became a surprisingly special place to me.
In this episode, I talk about why it was special. And I talk about a few specific memories I have in relationship to the laundromat.
I even mention a realization about laundry and the laundromat that helps me today!
Do you have any special places in your life, similar to mine in this episode?
Thank you for rating, reviewing and sharing the podcast! If you wouldn't mind doing me one more favor, I would appreciate it if you would fill out my survey: https://forms.gle/4S2uF9xRY6cgFp4c9
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Family relationships can be hard, amiright?
My biggest shame that I carry today is my relationship with my sisters. I go long and deep into all the whys in this episode. This felt like a true unburdening. And I learned a lot in the process.
Please fill out my survey: https://forms.gle/A1bgTbAsBn7pAYFw8
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Many women (people) struggle with their body image.
I used to think I was ugly. Even after 15+ years of my husband's compliments and assurances, I still believed I was ugly.
Until one day I had this realization. Listen in to hear what simple phrase- that we hear all the time- shifted things for me.
And please fill out this questionnaire for a free coaching session:
https://forms.gle/ES4fSrXgU1MBvLqJA
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When my mom broke her leg, I did some things I am still ashamed of. I wish I could go back and do it differently.
It took her leg a long time to heal, and sometimes we think we will never get through the obstacle of our shame. But there is hope.
Also, please fill out my questionnaire: https://forms.gle/VeMaypuAZp6HwMW96
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Today I am using the term "story" loosely by talking about an experience I had on the day of recording. It circles around happiness, circumstances, and faith.
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I recently heard someone say that research shows ALL MAMMAL young play until one of them get hurt. Hearing that caused me to reflect on my own experiences, and also what happens when we aren't allowed to play until someone gets hurt? Boundaries, identity, trust all come up in this episode.
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In this episode, I am telling a fun, lighthearted story of the first time my husband and I kissed. I was totally not myself-- which was maybe a good thing! And a few lessons as I looked back.
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Have you ever felt helpless? Have you felt shame? Do you know the difference?
In this episode, I share several experiences feeling helpless and why helpless often shows up as shame instead.
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In this episode, I tell stories about when I felt stupid and what I learned. Also a few suggestions for you.
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This Mother's Day I noticed how so many moms (or women) struggle with this day. In this episode I talk about why I think that is and what to do about it.
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In this episode, I talk about crying and tears. It's such a common thing to be ashamed of. But... why?
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In this episode, I discuss a time when I said some really hurtful words to my little sister. I walk you through an exercise I learned recently, that helped me to create compassion and understanding for myself in that moment.
Links:
sarahpeyton.com
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In this episode, I talk about how my TEETH have caused me so much shame. For you, it might be a different part of your body, but the same principles apply.
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Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse
In this episode, I talk about my experience being abused sexually and some things I've learned about why this messes with our minds so much.
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In this episode I take a little detour and talk about making and breaking habits and how it requires discomfort. I have a follow up story about sleep shame right at the beginning, before diving into why we don't reach our goals, why having "extra" weight is actually good, how to stop letting your brain work against you and a few hands-on exercises to help.
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In this episode, I tell several stories about sleep and sleep habits and encourage you to stop making sleep a moral thing.
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In this episode, I discuss one of the major turning points in my life and the lessons I learned: when my mom died. I tell you how I saw the hand of God during this trial.
Mentioned in the episode:
April 2020 General Conference talk Spiritually Defining Memories by Elder Andersen.
Share Your Stuff, I'll Go First by Laura Tremaine.
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In this episode, I discuss where I learned some of the messages around had around money. I give listeners 2 tips on how to loosen some of their own money shame.
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In this episode, I talk about how wanting a tennis skirt caused me to feel shame. I give you three learning lessons to help you shame-proof your life.
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In this week's episode, I talk about a memory involving my sister and swing. I describe a more recent experience that is related also. Memories can teach us in the present moment.
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In this episode, I talk about 10 moments of untainted joy from my life and then talk about the similarities.
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In this episode, I talk about my mom and what I learned from her. I talk about a simple exercise you can do to process emotion from the past.
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In this episode, I talk about my relationship with my Dad and how I learned to think of love and like differently.
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In this episode, I talk about what happens when I blamed myself as a child for something that wasn't my fault or responsibility-- and how that turned into shame. I give you questions to ask yourself if you have done the same thing.
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This week I tell stories about when I felt embarrassed and how it would often hold me back.
I give you a pen and paper exercise to explore your own thoughts and feelings about embarrassment.
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This week I talk a lot about my grandparents and some situations where I felt shame.
I give you a pen and paper exercise you can do to help you get through shame.
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Get to know your host a bit more and the reason for this podcast.
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