Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito: Recent Episodes

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Do you think women of a certain age are no longer interested in sex? Think again!

Host Pat Barbarito welcomes featured guest and sexual health changemaker Dr. Anika Ackerman to share the latest data, research, and anecdotes that clearly debunk this myth, and, instead, offer information about the numerous options that promote stellar sexual health – regardless of the number of candles on this year’s birthday cake.

Conversation highlights include:

• The importance of intimacy and its correlation to the longevity of a relationship;
• Top patient concerns, including lack of desire, vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, urgency (genitourinary syndrome); vaginismus (extreme tightness of the vaginal muscles);
• Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), examining hormonal imbalance and activity of neurotransmitters in the brain;
• Everyday libido ‘killers’;
• Libido enhancers - two FDA-approved medications and a few natural options
• Benefits of vaginal estrogen;
• Pelvic floor therapy – what it is and why it works;
• Use of laser, radio frequency, and high intensity focused electromagnetic energy to rejuvenate the vagina, and so much more!

If you, or a woman you love, is feeling the heartbreaking reality of perimenopause or menopause or watching the impact of a lower libido on their own self-confidence, this “all awkward questions welcome” conversation is for you!

Special thanks to our wonderful listener (who asked to remain anonymous) for suggesting this topic and explaining how beneficial this information was in her relationship.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube, or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Happy Valentine’s Day; we’re TWO!!!Host Pat Barbarito celebrates the second anniversary with her usual blend of frankness and fearlessness, offering a little no-nonsense insight into:

• the financial and emotional costs of divorce,
• the justice delivered (or not) through the divorce court,
• the ripple effect of your divorce on your longtime definition of family,
• how to reinvent, redefine, and rediscover who you are after the demise of your marriage, and so much more.

Be sure to listen to the end for a few words of support and some of Pat’s personal steps to embracing the new reality as a divorcee!

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube, or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Love means never having to say you’re sorry, right? Not according to our featured guest Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-author of the critically acclaimed book, The 5 Apology Languages. Instead, she tells host Pat Barbarito, the ability to offer a heartfelt apology, using an individual’s preferred communication style, can result in an even deeper connection with those most important to you.

In this episode, Pat and Jennifer explore those five elements of a sincere apology, and emphasize that, without the ability to acknowledge mistakes and express regret, the future of your relationships – romantic, platonic, professional, familial, etc. – could be in jeopardy.

Conversation highlights include:

• The purpose of an apology
• Why it is so hard to apologize
• The danger of over-apologizing;
• The best lead in for any apology;
• Why words alone may not be enough;
• Phrases to avoid when asking for forgiveness;
• The power of posing the question: Will you forgive me?;
• Why apologies in the workplace are essential to creating a successful corporate culture;
• What to do when feel obligated to apologize, but you don’t think you’re in the wrong, and so much more!

BONUS: What’s YOUR apology language? Take The Apology Language™ Quiz to better understand what you need to hear or experience to accept the sincerity of an apology. Share the quiz with your partner, family, colleagues, and friends!

ADDITIONAL READING: Want to focus on increasing teamwork, resolving conflict, and building trust in the workplace? Check out Making Things Right at Work, co-authored by Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas, and Paul White.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube, or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Is it possible for an individual to take charge of his/her own happiness at work? And, if so, where does one begin? Host Pat Barbarito, who knows a thing or two about navigating the challenging path to partnership and law firm ownership while raising a family and serving her community, welcomes Dr. Traci Ciprianoto answer these questions and more.

Using the guiding principles of workplace well-being outlined in Traci’s book, The Thriving Lawyer, the duo explores:

• The honeycomb of well-being;
• WHY we should care about well-being in the workplace;
• The importance of EQ (emotional intelligence), vulnerability, and sharing in relationship building;
• How the very training that makes a great lawyer can be a detriment to his/her ability to self-reflect and connect;
• The economic consequences for a workplace that prioritizes a culture of well-being;
• The dark side of ignoring personal well-being, including financial stress, burnout, suicide, and substance abuse;
• Solutions that enable a lawyer to continue practicing AND have deep personal connections, strong social support, along with authentic meaning and purpose;
• The complexity of a multi-generational workplace and working with each generation’s attitude toward well-being;
• Technology’s role in workplace well-being – friend or foe? – and so much more!

NOTE: Whether you are a seasoned lawyer, law student, or not even in the legal profession, there is something for you in this conversation.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube, or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Welcome to a special mini-episode of the show, one that features a series of soundbites just too good to leave on the cutting room floor. We hope you enjoyed the long-form conversation between Pat Barbarito and Dr. Mitchell Chasin that was released earlier this week, but if you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, don’t worry! These clips are standalone questions and answers about – as the title says – aging gracefully, serving celebrities, avoiding complications and so much more.

You’ll also learn what Dr Chasin thinks about being too old or too young to consider cosmetic enhancements, why he admires the younger generation’s approach to body maintenance and the older generation’s attitude to small tweaks and major adjustments, and what Dr. Chasin believes every patient should know before going to their first body augmentation consultation. (And he doesn’t let doctors off the hook either!)

Whether you are currently facing or have already handled divorce, the death of a loved one, a milestone birthday, cancer treatment and other major life change, just know that you are not alone, you deserve all the good in the world, and you are entitled to lift your spirits through self-care – even if that means just making an appointment to chat about a hair color, a type of massage, or a cosmetic procedure.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Divorce, the death of a loved one, milestone birthdays, cancer treatment and other major life changes can sometimes result in a drastically altered self-image – which can then undermine even the most positive person’s confidence and hopeful outlook. If that’s the case, wonders host Pat Barbarito, could simply improving one’s physical appearance with a visit to the local plastic surgery center result in a genuinely happier individual? Or is that person really just avoiding their inner turmoil? For featured guest and renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Mitchell Chasin, the answer is neither simple or one-size-fits-all.

Listen as the duo explores the relationship of beauty and confidence, discusses the intricacies of the mind-body-sprit connection through the lens of body augmentation, outlines the role that cosmetic medicine (including plastic surgery) can play in revitalizing one’s sense of hope, and debunks the myth that cosmetic procedures will remove all self-esteem issues or lack of confidence.

Additional highlights include:

• Why finding a board-certified plastic surgeon who values reputation and trust above dollars in the door is a must;
• Why doctors may avoid discussing aesthetics during a patient’s initial meeting and how that approach can result in improved recommendations;
• How minor adjustments can improve a patient’s spirits independent of their post-treatment appearance;
• The surgeon’s dilemma of managing expectations and emphasizing improvement over perfection;
• What makes a procedure truly successful; and so much more.

BONUS: Don’t miss the end of the episode where Dr. Chasin flips the script and puts Pat in the hot seat, drawing some neat correlations between his work and her role as a practicing divorce lawyer!

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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This episode is for the dogs…and cats…and, really, any animal friend that has ever impressed you with its resiliency and capacity for love, forgiveness, and silliness. Host Pat Barbarito welcomes veterinarian oncologist, cancer survivor, wife, boy mom, pet parent, and featured guest Dr. Renee Alsarraf and invites her to share the inspiration behind Renee’s debut memoir, Sit, Stay, Heal: What Dogs Can Teach Us About Living Well.

The story begins with the unbelievable timing of Renee and her dog Newton’s cancer diagnoses, and the inevitable comparison between how human and animal were reacting to treatment – a glaring difference that would ultimately make Renee realize her four-legged friend was far wiser than she ever expected.

Join the conversation to explore what dogs (pets) have to teach us (humans) about:

• The value of community connection;
• The power of the waiting room;
• The sanctity of self-care;
• The importance of mindset and mindfulness; and so much more.

Sit, Stay, Heal: What Dogs Can Teach Us About Living Well was featured on the Kelly Clarkson Show and is available at Barnes & Nobles, Amazon.com, and Target. Please click here for more information.

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”– Josh Billings

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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As we close out Mental Health Awareness month, host Pat Barbarito explores the idea of systemic humanity through the extraordinary life story of featured guest, Dr. Michael Libertazzo.

From the heartbreak of a misspent youth to the hope of completing a nontraditional educational path at the highest level, from serving among September 11th’s first responders to facing a seemingly unbeatable cancer diagnosis, from supporting doctors, nurses and other healthcare providers during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic to rallying financial assistance for rescue dogs in the United States’ poorest county, Michael embraces the idea that truly strong individuals are either actively contributing to the wellbeing of others or graciously accepting the help and support they themselves need.

Other highlights from this episode include:

• Why it is vital to know and appreciate what you have to offer your family, friends, and community at large;
• How to become a positive part of systemic humanity by absorbing kindness while also giving it;
• Why the semantics of “selfish” should be revisited and the idea of self-preserving embraced in its stead;
• How a mindfulness practice that includes letting go of negativity and setting a daily intention can greatly improve your outlook on life; and so much more.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Host Pat Barbarito is convinced that the secret to healthy relationships is rooted in scientific research and credits our good friend Dr. Duana Welch with showing her empirical evidence that explains – and can often predict – the behaviors of humans seeking lasting connection. In this ‘best of’ retrospective, we highlight some of Dr. Welch’s research and recommendations featured in our trilogy of episodes and invite you to:

• Dispel the popular dating myths that plague modern society but actually set people up for a lifetime of broken hearts;
• Get comfortable with the discomfort of online dating and find the fun in the journey;
• Increase the odds of correctly identifying your significant other among all the unsuitable matches;
• Embrace the two must-haves that guarantee a successful relationship;
• Learn how the most captivating online profiles are created and which photos make them even more memorable;
• Understand how and when to take an online interaction into the real world;
• Examine the four attachment styles that rule all human connection – familial, platonic, romantic; and so much more.

Miss an episode from this trilogy? Find the full-length conversations by visiting the links below!

• The Science of Love
• Finding Love Online at Any Age
• Exploring Relationship Attachment Styles

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Heartbreak & Hope celebrates its first anniversary AND launches its fourth season with a look back – not over the past 18 thought-provoking episodes, but on the hindsight lessons that host Pat Barbarito and some of her bravest clients have learned throughout their own marriages and divorces.

Anecdotes from first surviving, then healing, their heartbreak include:

• How much do shared values and life philosophies matter;
• What your potential spouse’s parents’ relationship can tell you;
• The importance of addressing your own issues and developing a strong sense of self-respect;
• Why it’s critical to agree on the makeup of the family’s foundation (children, couple, individual);
• What is narcissistic behavior and how knowing a potential partner’s psych profile can help avoid a lifetime of pain;
• How counseling can help you become a better communicator but won’t necessarily solve all relationship problems;
• How prenuptial agreements play an important part in the dissolution of a relationship whether by divorce or death;
• The value of a divorce lawyer who is an emotionally intelligent strategist with deep knowledge of the matrimonial laws in a specific region;
• Understanding the depth of the legal obligations you take on when getting married;
• Why mediation isn’t always the best way forward and can sometimes be a punishment;
• The pain of parental alienation and the perceived inability of courts to address it;
• A few thoughts about navigating divorce in America as an international spouse; and so much more.

BONUS: If the human brain doesn’t stop maturing until one’s late twenties, should anyone take on a lifetime commitment before then? Check out Big Think’s most recent article on the latest neuroscience research.

ICYMI: BE SURE TO CHECK OUT HEARTBREAK & HOPE’S 2022 PERFORMANCE STATS!

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Parental alienation has a devastating effect on both children and the targeted parent – but is it always malicious? What does an alienator tell themselves to justify the aggressive separation of child and parent? At what age are children most susceptible to the manipulation of one parent against another? Can alienated parents and children ever re-establish a healthy connection?

Host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Dr. Amy Bakerexplore these questions and more, as they delve into fear, sadness, financial loss, and court frustration associated with parental alienation during divorce/custody proceedings.

Conversation highlights also include:

• Defining parental alienation, how experts use the term, and why it matters;
• Why avoiding labelling the person and focusing on behavior is key when discussing parental alienation tactics and rebuttals;
• Navigating the confusing idea that the alienated child feels rejected by the very parent they are rejecting;
• The courts’ role in assessing alienation and requiring reunification efforts;
• How a manipulative parent’s behavior can actually help the other side move forward in a custody battle;
• The four mental hurdles that must be overcome to build and win a parental alienation case; and
• Finding hope amongst the variety of paths to reunification.

BONUS: Dr. Baker offers a sneak peek into her as-yet-untitled new book designed to help parents engage with their hurt, angry, rejected, distant child, including 30 sample texts to send to encourage real time communication.

ADDITIONAL RECOMMENDATION: If you are experiencing parental alienation, please watch the Erasing Family documentary for confirmation that you are not alone and there is hope.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Did you know that heartbreak can be a very dangerous medical condition? Leading New Jersey cardiologist Aaron Feingold tells Pat Barbarito that broken-heart syndrome has all the painful and terrifying symptoms of an actual heart attack – and diagnosing this condition requires open communication between doctor and patient.

Conversation highlights:

• How only an echocardiogram shows the difference between broken-heart syndrome and other forms of cardiomyopathies (heart attack, COVID-related, high blood pressure, etc.);
• The influence of 17th century bubonic plague doctor Jacob Zahalon on identifying the physical signs of lovesickness and recommending treatments to cure the brokenhearted;
• How modern medicine’s separation of the mind and spirit from the body creates difficulty in reaching the right diagnosis when emotional injuries are at the root of physical ailments;
• Dr. Feingold’s stance on the need for medical practitioners to avoid insinuating that a patient’s concerns are all in their head.

BONUS: Learn why broken-heart syndrome’s official name, takotsubo cardiomyopathy, is derived from a Japanese octopus trap.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Francine Russo, author of Love After 50: How to Find It, Enjoy It & Keep It, join considerable forces to dispel the myth that dating is only for awkward teenagers, non-committal college students, and young professionals with babies on the brain.

Instead, they claim that (1) dating is actually MORE fun, (2) sex is MORE enjoyable, and (3) partnerships have MORE real connection when you have some life – and possibly a few relationships – under your belt.

Conversation highlights include:

• Dating as a realist;
• How to adopt the right mindset before diving into the online dating pool;
• The one thing that is guaranteed to sabotage the future of a healthy new relationship;
• How to recover from the ‘shame’ of a broken relationship;
• How understanding your role in creating the elements of your past (successful and failed) relationships becomes a powerful tool in building stronger future partnerships;
• Navigating the emotional impact of dating after a long-term relationship or marriage.
• How to go about revealing your true self during the dating process.
• Preparing for sex with a new partner at an older age

BONUS: The top issues you MUST discuss before committing to a new relationship later in life.

Love After 50: How to Find It, Enjoy It & Keep Itis available in hardcover or paperback, for Kindle, and on Audible.

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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When you take someone’s hand, you never let it go until they can stand on their own two feet.” Monseigneur Puma, Founder, Eva’s Village

Nothing demoralizes a person or destroys their relationship to self, family or friends quite like addiction. But, as featured guests Joey Mazza and Angelica Alicea tell host Pat Barbarito, there is always hope for the addict committed to recovery. It just might take a village to help them find their way.

Joey and Angelica offer a raw, authentic look at their road to Eva’s Village – the organization instrumental in helping them rediscover their self-worth, community connection, and sense of hope for the future.

NOTE: This episode does include references to substance abuse and suicide and is intended for mature audiences only.

Eva’s Village is currently celebrating its 40th anniversary of providing care and support to those struggling with poverty, hunger, homelessness, and addiction in Paterson, New Jersey.

Please visit Believe in A Better Tomorrow to learn how you can join the Eva's Village family today!

Be sure to follow Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon Music or bookmark the official podcast webpage to keep the entire library at your fingertips.

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Family values are a top topic in the U.S. media and its electoral campaigns, but have you ever wondered about the very real people behind those headlines? Host Pat Barbarito invites Matthew Coleman and Brendan Sullivan to share the story of how their family came to be – from young Irish Catholic boys trying to stay out of trouble in New Jersey and Rhode Island, to graduate students navigating the New York dating scene (and proposal demands!), to prospective parents determined to ensure a big, bright future for their son.

Learn how the laws that govern America’s relationship with marriage, parenthood, race, sexual orientation, religion, and even individuality affect the everyday lives of two Americans and the family they hope to grow.

Conversation highlights include:

• The importance of acknowledging the presence of fear in individual and societal development, and why it’s very likely that today ISN’T the end of the world;
• How your familial past can influence in your future, but doesn’t necessarily dictate the terms of your happiness;
• The surprising insight from Brendan’s mother that offered fresh perspective on impending parenthood;
• The practical benefits of marriage and how New Jersey’s civil union status for same sex couples falls short in offering the same protections;
• The reality of parenting a black child in modern-day America and the inner work required before adopting a child of a different race; and more.

BONUS: Matthew explains how defeating the Defense of Marriage Act – and the ensuing confusion in New Jersey about the benefits of marriage vs. civil union – was a driving force behind choosing family law as a career path.

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“What is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” These words from poet Mary Oliver are particularly meaningful to featured guests Tony Tambasco and Anne Stewart, a couple whose unconventional love story is equally rooted in the romantic and the practical.

They reveal to host Pat Barbarito how their life experience, including losing their first spouses to debilitating diseases, changed their perspective on love, partnerships, and taking chances at any age.

Conversation highlights include:

• The value of reconnecting with your younger self as you age, and how that can impact your openness to receiving and sharing love;
• What dating looks like in your 70s and beyond;
• Why marriage is still a perfectly acceptable – but not the only – option for older adults;
• What to consider – family, money, living arrangements, religion, etc. – before marrying in your later years;
• Helpful suggestions on how best to navigate interfaith relationships; and so much more.

BONUS: Tony and Anne discuss the challenge of joining an independent living facility without losing touch with the world outside and offer a glimpse into their future globetrotting adventures!

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For many, aging is an uncomfortable aspect of life, and the very idea of retiring or entering an assisted living facility produces feelings of dread, sadness, and despair. But not so for featured guest Rob Liebreich, CEO & President of Goodwin Living. Instead, he is quick to tell host Pat Barbarito how his career spent in service to seniors has given him insight into just how rich life can be in one’s 70s, 80s, and beyond – and inspires him to do whatever is necessary to keep the golden years shining for generations.

Conversation highlights include:

• How a long life can impact a person’s perspective on love and soften any resistance to receiving and sharing love;
• The community support that can be found in assisted living facilities and how being part of a community can play into the discovery of purpose;
• The importance of finding and embracing a spirit of purpose at any age;
• The key ingredients to creating an engaged community at an assisted living facility
• How to create meaningful change without alienating people along the way;
• The three simple tasks that help strengthen the prefrontal cortex and arrest the symptoms of dementia and other cognitive diseases; and so much more.

BONUS: Learn more about Stronger Memory – the brain boosting curriculum inspired by Rob’s own experience helping his mother halt her mild cognitive impairment – and how these tools remain free to the public through support from the Goodwin Living Foundation. Special thanks to the State of Maryland for rolling out the program to senior centers throughout the state and to George Mason University professors O’Hara and Thompkins for collaborating on further research in this area.

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What is family? Whether you envision a traditional (two parents of different genders with biological offspring) or expanded (parents that include single, adoptive, step, foster, grandparents, siblings, or other kin, same-sex couples, etc.) model, the ties that bind families together are varied and complex.

Host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Matheu Nunn examine the legal definition of family and explore how that affects the rights, responsibilities, and obligations of everyone involved.

Highlights include:

• Surprising roots of the U.S. legal definition of family;
• The hierarchy of rights for parents, other family members, and interested third parties, as well as a review of the parens patriae principle, and the difference between parental rights and visitation rights;
• How the rights of biological parents are protected, even when considering the termination of those rights;
• Negotiating parental rights in blended families, at the beginning or end of a relationship/marriage;
• Why the legal relationship between parent and child must be severed before adoption can be finalized;
• When and why the court can insert itself and its guidance, including the removal of a child or termination of parental rights, into a family; and so much more

BONUS: Follow Mat’s seven-year litigation saga as it winds through various courts to help a non-traditional family be legally recognized by the U.S. legal system.

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Host Pat Barbarito invites her own OBGYN – Dr. Matthew Iammatteo – to talk about the many paths to parenthood that modern medicine has made possible for women approaching or over the age of 40. 

From the physical realities to emotional hurdles, “old eggs” and new mindsets, this conversation explores: 

• The importance of a compassionate partnership between a woman pursuing pregnancy and her OBGYN;
• How family (including other children), friends, and faith can impact this arduous journey;
• The hallmarks of a successful surrogacy;
• How IVF has evolved from general guesswork to scientific certainty;
• What is involved in the evaluation of a patient considering IVF;
• The difference between genetic and congenital abnormalities and how age impacts the likelihood of either occurring;
• Why women should consider “freezing” their eggs at an early age and what that process entails;
• The dark side of pursuing pregnancy at a later age, and more.

BONUS: Learn how Dr. Iammatteo answers the question: "How old is too old to have a baby?"

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Intimacy is defined as the process by which you gradually reveal everything about yourself. And, featured guest Duana Welch tells host Pat Barbarito, how you feel about that statement – joy, hope, fear, dread – is a clear indicator of your approach to relationship building or its sabotage. Learn more about the four attachment styles outlined by scientific research and discover how understanding both your own and your current/potential partner’s style could improve the quality and longevity of your romantic future.

Highlights include:

• How to identify your attachment style;
• How to change your current attachment style;
• The truth behind ‘love bombs’;
• Four Cs to identifying and choosing a romantic partner with a secure attachment style;
• The risks of secure/non-secure attachment style partnerships.;
• How to achieve happiness even with an anxious or avoidant attachment style;
• The benefits of ‘earned security’;
• Which attachment style has the best sex;
• How your attachment style affects your sex life;
• The value of emotion-focused therapy, and more.

BONUS Take the Levine & Heller Adult Attachment Quiz to discover your own attachment style!

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Experiencing abuse at the hands of a significant other can scar both body and soul and instill a deep sense of shame, but even the most shocked, hurt, and paralyzed survivors of domestic violence can leave these dangerous situations with the help of numerous available resources and allies. In this sensitive discussion, host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Matthew Troiano examine the process, challenges, and ultimate rewards of seeking justice after experiencing intimate partner violence.

Highlights include understanding:

• What constitutes domestic violence – harassment, stalking, terroristic threats, emotional/financial control, assault, rape – and that it can be a single incident or a series;
• How the comfort of a relationship can empower an abuser, confuse the victim;
• What emergent relief is and how both temporary and final restraining orders are designed to protect;
• How sharing these private details with members of the legal system can be daunting AND key in rediscovering inner strength;
• Why ‘one-and-done’ might not always be the right resolution for every relationship;
• How lawyers handle victims who decide to return to their abusers, mid-process; and more.

BONUS: Matthew shares several anecdotes from his own experience that illustrate how relationships between prosecutor and victims can go from complete distrust to nearly familial bonds when handled with empathy and transparency.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800.799.7233 or visiting thehotline.org**.

In New Jersey? JBWS is ready to provide local support through their helpline 877.782.2873 or website jbws.org.**

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Host Pat Barbarito reflects on the first season of Heartbreak & Hope and offers insight into what she learned from her conversation with each guest. From eradicating the shame of divorce or the taboo of talking about money to embracing science and technology to improve the longevity of relationships, Pat reveals just how valuable open communication can be in helping everyone feel less alone – and more hopeful – while on their healing journey. 

Highlights include:

• How Pat now defines the ultimate relationship;
• Why Pat believes that preparing a “partnership roadmap” puts self-respect at the center of any romance without taking away from the magic;
• Pat’s admission that the “money talk” can be more difficult and more intimate than the “sex talk”, but avoiding financial disaster is worth the discomfort; and
• How embracing a strategic approach to dating apps has made online dating less intimidating and more enjoyable for Pat (and so many others!).

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Worried about facing the stern-faced, black-robed presiding judge who is overseeing the end of your marriage? Don’t be! Host Pat Barbarito welcomes The Honorable Michael Casale and The Honorable Marie Lihotz and leads the duo through a candid conversation with anecdotes that help demystify the judge’s role and responsibilities in divorce court.

Highlights include:

• What to expect during a typical first day in divorce court;
• How your courtroom presence impacts the judge’s impression of the facts;
• Understanding emotional paralysis and disparity between the parties involved in the divorce;
• The scope of power judges wield in civil court and whether that includes jail time;
• Factoring in ‘fault’ and why it doesn’t really change the allocation of assets;
• How detailed orders are used to control unhelpful (but not quiiiiite illegal) behaviors that unnecessarily complicate divorce proceedings;
• How judges prioritize the many considerations of a divorce – child safety, parenting time, finances, assets, etc.;
• Knowing your alternative dispute resolution options and why those may provide a better result than a trial.

BONUS: Features an in-depth discussion regarding the case for open dialogue with children about the reasons for the divorce and how to approach those conversations without demeaning the other party.

NOTE: Additional resources for those divorcing in New Jersey can be found atParent Link.

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When her husband texted a ‘this isn’t working’ message while she was horseback riding in Spain, New York Times bestselling author Neale Godfrey thought he was referring to the toaster, not that divorce proceedings were underway. Her shock at learning the truth and her experience with the realities of ending a marriage late in life fuel this candid conversation with host (and her own divorce lawyer) Pat Barbarito.

Highlights include:

• Evaluating why you want to end the marriage (when the choice is yours) and whether you should consider staying;
• Recruiting the right members of Team YOU to provide clarity, guidance, and support during the emotional confusion of divorce proceedings;
• Improving your knowledge of your family’s comprehensive financial picture, including all income, assets, debt, taxes, etc.;
• Preparing for the difficult but necessary conversations about money with your soon-to-be-former spouse, children, and others;
• Considerations when discussing long-term life insurance, pension plans, retirement accounts, and more.

BONUS: Neale chats about how bright post-divorce life is and her number one piece of advice for becoming truly happy and financially secure after the legalities are final.

Curious about your estimated social security benefits? Visit socialsecurity.gov to learn more.

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Contemplating online dating, but not sure how to begin? Tried a few sites and found the whole process unnatural or unnerving? Feeling embarrassed about using dating apps to find a partner? Host Pat Barbarito encourages listeners to banish such unhelpful mindsets and invites recurring featured guest Dr. Duana Welch to reveal the science-backed secrets of successfully finding love online.

Highlights include:

• How to mentally prepare yourself for online dating, including clarifying your own goals and profiling your perfect partner;
• Exactly what types of pictures your profile should include, how many to upload and in what order, and why picture perfect could backfire;
• Why Dr. Welch recommends against describing yourself in your online profile, and what she views as the best method to create the most compelling and truly personal ad;
• How to evaluate responses, manage appropriate conversational volleys, and, ultimately, take the talk offline;
• A few respectfully worded ‘scripts’ to help you effectively reject mismatched suitors;
• “High status” strategies to avoid becoming pen pals with charming but non-committal candidates;
• The Sex Talk - the right time for physical intimacy, why the 'too soon' conundrum is biochemically driven, and so much more.

BONUS: Stay tuned to the very end, where Pat offers insight into a few legal consequences all relationships should consider.

READING MATERIAL: Love Factually, 10 Steps From I Wish to I Do

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For many, talking finances before walking down the aisle is the epitome of anti-romanticism. But host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Gary Botwinick believe that having a clear understanding of your individual and combined assets – and how you both expect to manage those – at the beginning of a marriage can actually lay the groundwork for a wonderful future or shine a light on irreconcilable incompatibility before it becomes devastating heartbreak.

Highlights include:

• Legal documents that everyone, regardless of marital status, should have e.g., will, living will, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, etc., and the importance of regularly reviewing the terms outlined;
• The legal rights and obligations one spouse owes another, e.g., forced inheritance, elective shares;
• Recommendations on when to have the prenuptial conversation with your potential partner and why it should cover more eventualities than a potential divorce;
• How preparing for divorce can and should impact financial decisions even before the proceedings are final;
• Why you shouldn’t depend on the terms in a will or a divorce decree to decide the distribution of your wealth;
• How cryptocurrencies and NFTs will challenge how assets are currently discovered; and so much more.

BONUS: Gary’s #1 tip on how to avoid being surprised by your financial reality even if your spouse manages household income and investments.

READING: Thoughts On Estate Planning When The Honeymoon Is Over And After The Divorce

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If you were going on a vacation, would you simply get in your car with no GPS or maps and start driving? Both host Pat Barbarito and featured guest Dr. Duana Welch scoff at the very idea and question why society continues to embrace the myth that, when dating, blindly trusting to luck is the only way to find true love. Focused on the science of human attraction and connection, the duo reassure listeners that understanding the process of successful partnering will never ruin the thrill of falling in love. It just might enhance the journey!

Listen and learn:

• how using science-backed strategies will improve your odds on finding love;
• how to ‘prime your brain’ to seek out candidates that match your desired traits list;
• the two non-negotiables for every relationship (no, really, no exceptions);
• whether it's truly necessary to having the same or a similar capacity and desire for love;
• the relevance of chemistry – either instant or eventual – when entering into a new relationship;
• how bad behaviors excused during courtship are usually the very behaviors that land couples in divorce court;
• the danger of assumptions and the power of difficult conversations; and so much more.

This is the first in a series of conversations with Dr. Duana Welch, author of the original Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, and its sequel, Love Factually for Single Parents.

Dr. Welch is a relationship coach and is known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues. She has served as a professor at universities in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years, and has contributed to NPR, PBS, Psychology Today, and numerous other outlets, podcasts and videos. To learn more about Dr. Welch, please click here.

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Host Pat Barbaritoand featured guest, famed journalist and former client Carol Martin cover the magic of marriage, the devastation of divorce, and the life lessons learned from both in the inaugural episode of Heartbreak & Hope. 

Topics include: 

• How the dream of marriage drives both men and women, but cultural conditioning prevents us from adequate planning the marriage, including its ending through death or divorce;
• The importance of personal responsibility in the beginning, duration, and ending of a relationship;
• How critical the knowledge of what you bring to and will not tolerate within a marriage can be to its longevity;
• Debunking some of the myths of marriage, including the illusion of security and the fear of a prenup;
• What to consider when looking for a divorce lawyer, and how the gender of the lawyer is less important than the lawyer's capacity for empathy;
• The place of financial analysis and legal opinion within the context of the emotional demise of a relationship; and
• Why and when a good matrimonial lawyer should turn you down.

Click here to learn more about Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito, including access to additional legal resources. 

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Divorce lawyer Pat Barbarito thought she knew all about complex relationships and the laws that govern them – until her own marriage of 17 years ended and she determined to get to the heart of love, marriage, and human connection. Her journey spanned the entire scope of relationships – from the science of attraction to the financial impact of separation, to old myths that society still touts as true to new laws that outline how to navigate both uniting and uncoupling. Heartbreak & Hope with Pat Barbarito offers insights, anecdotes, and guidance from a variety of experts and includes her own perspective on how best to thrive through any stage of relationship building.