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Welcome to The Wonder Correspondence, the podcast where we explore the wonders of life through the lens of curiosity. What if the real magic, the absolute wonder of life, lies not in the grand gestures but in

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the small, quiet moments of our everyday lives? That’s precisely what this letter exchanges between these two friends explore. We often think of curiosity as something bright and shiny, leading to exciting discoveries. But in reality, curiosity can be a bit messy—it’s unpredictable, can lead us down rabbit holes, and doesn’t always give us the answers we’re looking for.

Our writers discuss how curiosity isn’t always straightforward. It’s not about finding neat and tidy answers but rather embracing the process, even when it’s chaotic. They touch on the idea that it’s okay not to have all the answers right away and that sometimes, the journey itself is the reward.

Let’s break this down a bit. When we allow ourselves to be curious, we open the door to uncertainty. We’re saying, ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m willing to find out.’ That can be scary, but it’s also where the magic happens. Curiosity invites us to explore without judgment and to follow our interests even when they lead us to unexpected places.

This podcast is a special perk just for you—our paid subscribers. Your support helps us keep these letters coming and allows us to dig deeper into the themes that resonate most with you. So, thank you for being part of this journey!

With curiosity,

Tiffani

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Producer’s Commentary

When I started as a writer, I was often paralyzed by the fear that I wasn't good enough. I worried that if I showed my work to the world, people would find my mistakes more obvious and my strengths harder to see. I was afraid of rejection, so I wrote in silence, keeping my work to myself. I didn't share my articles for feedback, because I didn't know how to. Then I learned about the power of taking a risk. I learned that if I shared my work, the worst that could happen was that I would get better from the feedback and criticism. Even more, I learned that progress was better than perfection, and that impact was more important than intent. I've been thinking a lot lately about the power of taking risks. I'm talking about the bigger picture kind of risks that have the power to change our lives and the world. When I was younger, I would have never described myself as a risk taker. I wasn’t exactly afraid to try something new or to move someplace where I knew no one — but when I’d share my story the response often pointed to my courage and my willingness to take risks. I have always been guided by my curiosity and my desire to live a big, bright, happy life. I’ve only ever regretted the times when I didn’t go with my gut.

Progress is Better Than Perfection

Perfectionism is a trap, a gilded trap, but a trap nonetheless. It can keep us from enjoying life and making the most of our potential. The problem I have with perfectionism is that it’s rooted in fear. It is a mechanism that is used to protect us from disappointment and failure, but it is based on the false premise that disappointment and failure are villains and should be avoided at all costs. The truth is failure and disappointment are a vital part of living and can offer us the most valuable lessons we could ever learn. But we must first shed our fear of them and understand the labor of “perfectionism” robs us of the opportunity to learn from our mistakes.

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”

Vince Lombardi

I think the pursuit of perfection is a dangerous feature of capitalism (an economic system characterized by private or corporate ownership of capital goods, by investments that are determined by private decision, and by prices, production, and the distribution of goods that are determined mainly by competition in a free market)

We are conditioned to believe that we are products and not people. We can hear parents express different levels of “ownership” when they refer to their children. We often refer to our partners as someone we “own” or “possess.” We’re even expected to hold space for our jobs in a way that is troubling—why should our enthusiasm and passion for a job match the creator, founder, or CEO? Our labor is extracted at a discount. It’s rare that we see equity between ourselves and those at the top of the pyramid. In all of this, we are expected to operate like a machine — machines are supposed to work perfectly every single time, and when they don’t they are called “broken” and need to be repaired or discarded. Perfectionist culture uses shame and disappointment to keep us locked into the cycle.

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But Why?

We are often afraid to take risks because we fear negative outcomes, but how will we discover what's possible if we stay timid--especially about the things we want? Taking risks can lead to new opportunities, new experiences, and new relationships. It can also lead to growth, learning, and self-discovery. Taking risks is essential to living fully. When we take risks, we open ourselves up to new experiences, new people, and new opportunities. Often when we consider risks, we think about physical risks like skydiving or bungee jumping. But there are other types of risks to consider. Relationships are one area where taking risks is essential. We have to be vulnerable with another person to experience a deeper connection. Allowing ourselves to be open and honest about our thoughts, feelings, and experiences can be scary, but it is essential to developing intimacy. When we take risks in our relationships, we open ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt, but we also open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing love, and intimacy on a deeper level. Career risks can also lead to new opportunities and experiences. If we take risks in our work, we may find our work more rewarding and fulfilling than if we were to avoid new challenges and opportunities. Creative risks can lead to new ideas and new approaches to problem-solving. Some risks are not as obvious as others, but if we are mindful enough to detect them, they can be transformative opportunities.

Taking Risks as a Practice

How can integrate taking risks into our lives as a matter of practice? Is it a skill we can learn? Is it a habit we can develop? Or is it something that we are born with? Is it a matter of courage? I think it is all of these things. It is a matter of practice because the more we exercise listening to our inner guidance, we discover a new capacity for seeing and extracting the value of our experiences. I’ve been examining opposites lately—the one that’s become most interesting has been the accepted wisdom that the opposite of love is hate. The closer I looked at this concept, a question emerged. Could fear be the opposite of love, not hate? If fear is the opposite of love, then overcoming fear, might be the way we expand our capacity to love ourselves.

Tell me about the biggest risk you have taken in your life. Why did it feel risky to you?

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PRODUCER’S COMMENTARY

Culture teaches us that love and hate are opposites. Upon closer examination, I began to reconsider this long-held belief. I think fear is love's true nemesis. Hate is usually the mask it's wearing. Both fear and love are provoked by the same choice, to care about something or someone else more than we care about ourselves. In the case of love, the object of our care is often other human beings. In the case of fear, it is typically something more abstract. Think about a time in your life when you felt loved--did you notice a new capacity to love yourself with less judgment or renewed faith in your power to create a life that excites you? Do you trust in your strength, offer yourself more patience with your process, and discover a deeper appreciation of your being?

Even with all of the current wisdom available to help us feel more courageous and confident--I've never read anything about love being a tool or solution for self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or insecurity. When I experience these emotions or thoughts, I'm almost always responding to how a pair of external eyes perceive me. It's rare to be in touch with MY opinion of myself. I can't help but wonder if this is a result of the unconscious conditioning we receive from childhood. The goal isn't belonging and community--but sameness and compliance. We must determine our value from external voices and influences. And our willingness to be shaped by the opinions of others is rewarded with acceptance and success. Pushing back against this collective thinking is met with swift, and often painful ramifications, designed to instill fear--fear of rejection, isolation, or humiliation. I suspect that I don't pursue my dreams and ambitions with more vigor because of the impact of that social conditioning. And while I am continually working on reprogramming myself, that conditioning is relentless. The times when I feel free of it are when I am feeling wholly and deeply loved.

In my experience, feeling loved invites us to see ourselves truly; there is something transformative about being seen, deeply seen. The healing that comes from recognizing one's complexity and vulnerability makes way for creativity and clarity—observing people who seem to be loved and cherished in a kind of tangible way seem to move through life with a certain fearlessness. I think that feeling of "internal" safety within one's self is a consequence of feeling treasured. It's as if loving experiences offer a reflection of our most nourishing and supportive selves, and no matter what we choose to do and how it may turn out, we will be loved for ourselves and not for our accomplishments or failures.

I'm convinced that to have the bravery to accomplish something great, to live the life we create in our daydreams, and become the most incredible version of ourselves--we need transformative, loving experiences and relationships. Feeling loved, not just romantically but in all the ways love makes itself known--somehow makes us feel more courageous. Having a deep desire to be loved is guidance for my life—a compass that orients me toward the thing I often need most, the courage to chase my dreams and live as myself without apology. I want to be treasured for myself, to be seen, understood, and loved for who I am. I want to be respected for my gifts, passions, and strengths. To live authentically and with integrity, I need to be witnessed, understood, and given space to be real.

Can you remember a time in your life when feeling loved gave you the courage to take a risk?

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PRODUCER’S COMMENTARY

I don't need to tell you that asking for help isn't easy. It's something that I struggle with daily, and it's definitely not something that comes naturally to me. I've heard a lot of reasons why it may be so... almost all have pointed to my lack of humility or inability to push aside my pride--these may play a factor, but it's definitely not the whole story. Whether you're reaching out to your community to find a place to stay or calling your mother because you can't pay your bills, it can be embarrassing, humiliating, and painful — even when you're asking someone who says they care about you. And if you really think about it, helping each other is a transactional exchange that places a false value on our relationships. When we ask for help, we focus a lot of attention on the giver and not the asker--almost as if the person asking doesn't carry the larger burden, and this has always made me curious.

Vulnerability is a superpower often treated as weakness

The burden of asking for help is tied to the condition created around it. As children we are praised for being "good helpers" adults point out our enthusiasm and overlook our mistakes when we help, I imagine, to encourage our development into "good people"---whatever that means. I've never seen this same energy given to children who ask for help--- it is often the opposite. Most kids in need of help are ridiculed, ignored, and even reprimanded. I don't know if this is supposed to discourage us from being a burden on society (again... I have no idea what that even means) Needing help is often seen as negative and not needing it is a testament to our hard work. I call b**t.

“When you judge yourself for needing help, you judge those you are helping. When you attach value to giving help, you attach value to needing help. The danger of tying your self-worth to being a helper is feeling shame when you have to ask for help. Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help.”

― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

Asking for help can feel like a daunting task because we are quietly conditioned to believe that asking for help will make people see us as weak, vulnerable, or at our lowest. However, asking for help takes tremendous courage and strength. It shows that you are self-aware enough to realize when you need assistance and that you are willing to do what it takes to better yourself. Vulnerability is exactly what we need to ask someone else for help—we need them to see us. Asking someone who claims to care about you can be extremely meaningful. Think about a time when someone offered you help even though you suspected that they really didn't want to—it probably felt forced and unnatural. In contrast, when someone offers you help because they genuinely care about your well-being, their offer feels like an honor. More than anything else, that's what I want; what anyone wants is genuine support from those who care about you.

We often feel like we're being selfless by refusing help from others; in my experience, it's because help never really feels like help--it feels like an overwhelming sense of indebtedness. I can't speak for everyone, but when I ask for help I often find myself waiting for the energetic, physical, or emotional invoice. That is, I feel like I need to put in some form of work to 'earn' the help that I'm asking for. Help also has a really short shelf life--it's rare that I've ever received help that doesn't have some unspoken expiration date. It always starts with a question that is often about "how long" and unravels from there.

Even when I have absolutely nothing I can offer in return, the first thing I consider before I ask for help is if there is any way to shrink myself or my need so I don't put someone else out. Remember, that no one has to say yes--I'm already figuring out how to reduce my debt. Even with my own overwhelming needs constantly at the forefront of my mind, I still fall into the trap of subconsciously prioritizing the needs and capacity of the person I'm asking for help from, and downplaying my own needs.

There are three rules I've employed so I don't alienate anyone in my life--including myself:

Ask for an emotional and logistical commitment to help. Explaining why the help is important can sometimes make the asking a bit easier.

Don't expect much in return.

Let go of the outcome.

I've learned the hard way that it's most painful when I put myself out there and ask for help because then I have to contend with the possibility of rejection. Whether I get what I ask for or not, I've had to learn that my own value doesn't change. Asking for help with a difficult issue is about deciding whether I will put my needs before my fear and uncertainty, and it's a risk that hasn't always paid off. But what could possibly be embarrassing about taking care of myself and doing what I need to do? If it comes back rejected or in another form of failure, so be it. Learning to respect myself by not allowing my fears and insecurities to keep me from living up to my full potential as an individual, has been one of the most challenging lessons I've learned but #growththinking is always better than thinking small.

Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to heal relationships. When was the last time you said thank you when someone reached out to you for help? The idea that someone trusts you enough with their problem or issue has to mean something--trust is such a delicate part of a relationship and we cheapen it when we take that for granted. Have you ever considered how safe someone has to feel sharing the parts of themselves or their lives that bring them pain or fear? We give awards, medals, prizes, and praise to people who help and organizations that offer aid---but it's so rare to recognize that people who are asking for help also need support. We also weaponize gratitude in these moments--demanding gratitude from someone who has entrusted you with their problems just puts you on the fast track to the end of a relationship.

Showing appreciation lets others know that they are important and valued. When you reach out for help, you are often seen as vulnerable. You question your value, repeatedly. By telling someone how important they are, you can create an emotional connection between you two and let them know that they matter. You also help them feel good about themselves, which makes people want to help you in return. This positive cycle of reciprocal giving will strengthen your relationship and deepen bonds over time.

Time to get Curious:

Do the people in your life feel safe asking you for help?

Are there unspoken terms and conditions on your help that would make it feel burdensome?

Does your offer of help feel like oppression or debt to the one asking?

Do you find it easy to ask for help?

What lessons did you learn about giving or receiving help that you could start unlearning?

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PRODUCER’S COMMENTARY

The word ritual has been around for centuries, but it is difficult to find a concise definition. The most common way to describe a ritual is as a specific set of actions that are performed repeatedly by individuals who belong to a particular group or culture. Within any given society, rituals can be seen in religion, sports, and even art and music. I’ve been fascinated lately with how rituals can affect our lives both personally and professionally.

I don’t think we realize how powerful rituals are—we often treat them as a daily to-do list. Rituals can help improve our relationships and shape our identity. Rituals aren’t about getting things done—instead, they force us to slow down and be with the activities and people that really matter to us. They are ways to engage in the practice of mindfulness—to remind us that we are, in fact, Beings and not Doings. They remind us that there is more to life than labor and productivity and that it’s important to do something that focuses on ourselves. They help make time for self-reflection and personal growth. And even when you feel stressed out or tired, performing simple rituals can be an easy way to relax your mind so you feel ready for whatever comes next.

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Part of what makes rituals so interesting is how flexible they are, and how different from one person to another. Are rituals born from daily habits? Are they one and the same? Can rituals have a negative impact on how we live? I think there are negative aspects to ritualistic behaviors, but not necessarily personal rituals. As someone who has to manage anxiety every day, I know how easy it is for comfort routines to become unproductive, harmful, or ineffective. For example, people who feel compelled to drink every night before bed aren't doing themselves any favors by depriving themselves of sleep over their addiction issues. Are you paying attention to whether your habits are adding or subtracting value to your life? There will always be times when we have to evaluate if a ritual isn't serving us and choose to set it aside and replace it with something more useful. Through journaling or contemplation, you can come up with a new way of interacting with life that serves you better than old habits ever did. This is called creative non-resistance and I think it's pretty powerful.

Like so many other aspects of our daily lives, rituals are an integral part of what makes us human. At its core, a ritual is a repeated act that fulfills certain requirements and serves certain purposes. Being intentional about creating rituals, can be transformative. When we allow ourselves to create rituals in our everyday lives, we can tap into a tremendous amount of power. Whether you want to create a morning ritual or an evening ritual, there are many things you can do. In fact, start looking for those opportunities today—may surprise you how much life opens up when you create rituals for yourself or become more mindful of the ones you currently practice. Evaluate the current practices in your life that bring you joy, pleasure, bliss, and peace. Make time for people who reflect the parts of yourself that you love or like—and just spend time. Our rituals can help guide and inspire other nourishing behaviors throughout the day.

Self-reflection is a powerful practice that helps us identify our core values and sort out who we are; it also reveals things like thought patterns that lead to building effective personal rituals. If you want to gain greater insight into yourself, make building personal rituals a habit. Identify at least one routine you can engage in every day — and use it as an opportunity to start connecting with the power in the small, everyday moments in your life.

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Producer’s Commentary

Friends are the most important relationships we have in our lives; they are crucial to our happiness and wellbeing, and they are often the most difficult to make and maintain. The one thing we can count on from friendships is that they will change over time. Why do we struggle so much with making and keeping friends in adulthood? Maybe as we grow and change, our expectations around friendship shift.

The Mystery

Friendships, unlike all other relationships, bring us the closest to self-actualization. While lovers, families, and peers all contribute to our identity in significant ways, friendship is the type of relationship that allows us to blossom into our full potential. It is the foundation of all relationships—the emotional glue that holds them together—yet it stands on its own as a unique entity. Friendships can be with anyone; they can even cross-species (have you seen us with our pets?): your close friends from childhood might not be a part of your social circle now, but they were once indispensable parts of your identity. Although marriage and children will play an enormous role in shaping you into who you become as an adult, so too will the people with whom you grow and define yourself over time.

Friendship and friend groups can have connections that are deeper and stronger than even those of our biological family. I think it’s because it’s a connection that is born from choice. As adults, we often find ourselves defining our identities more by who we choose to surround ourselves with than by what family roles or personal characteristics make up our individual identities. As such, it’s incredibly important for us to maintain meaningful connections with others because these relationships shape us into better versions of ourselves.

One of my favorite mysteries about friendship is the ease with which we made friends as children. Is it me, or did you find making friends a far simpler task as a child?. Didn’t feel easier to turn strangers into friends? Is it because we’re less judgemental? Did we have more shared interests and values? I even find the concept of the “best friend” is less common in adulthood—but as children, we may have had a new best friend every week. If I want a meaningful friendship as an adult, I have to put in more work than taking my ball or incredible freeze tag skills to the park. Why?

Friendships involve a certain amount of vulnerability that other types of relationships don’t necessarily require—and we’re socialized and conditioned to believe that in childhood vulnerability is natural and expected and that in adulthood it is a sign of immaturity and weakness. We’re expected to “outgrow” our vulnerability. I think we’re seeing a course correction on that belief, but it is slow going. The requirements for friendship seem pretty simple—especially compared to other relationships. We want our friends to care for and cherish us and be there in times of need. So why is it so hard?

The Beauty

Friendships are deeply personal in our adult lives; we tend to limit our social interactions with people who share our interests. We've been conditioned to believe that only by surrounding ourselves with people just like us will we be able to easily find common ground and have fun together; however, having a friend who is very different from you or who shares nothing in common with you allows you to learn more about yourself and see your own life through someone else's eyes. Friendships are about choice and relationships that don’t center on obligation or duty. There is freedom in a friendship that is mutually protected. A true friendship requires a deep level of understanding between two people—to have someone choose to actively see and hear you can give you wings. For someone to stand by you through thick and thin, there has to be trust—and a genuine love for who you really are. We should value our friends as much as our lovers. They see us at our best and worst and still choose to stick around anyway. That’s not something any relationship can replace; it's truly priceless.

The end of a friendship is a different type of heartbreak.

When you lose a friend, it’s not just that relationship that ends. Instead, a piece of your heart crumbles and disappears. No matter how different or distant you become from an old friend, your friendship is still forever intertwined with your history. Losing a friend—whether they’ve moved away, fallen out of touch, or passed away—is always devastating in its own way. While grieving over a loved one makes us examine what’s truly important in life, when we lose a friend, we often find ourselves wondering why exactly they left. Was it something I did? Something I didn’t do? Why did my best friend move across the country without telling me? How do I know if my ex-friend hates me? The answers to these questions don’t always come easily or quickly. When you lose a friend, it feels like someone has taken a giant eraser to your emotional hard drive. It can feel as if something had been stolen from you.

The Strength of Friendship

One of the best parts about friendship is that it makes you stronger. Right from the beginning, you learn how to push yourself and put other people’s needs before your own. Your friends recognize your growth usually before anyone else. The best friendships are usually the ones that we build, with the people that we choose for ourselves.

When’s the last time you made a new friend?

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Producer’s Commentary

What is a personal soundtrack, but a world we build for ourselves to live in, that is composed of melodies, beats, and lyrics? We have a song for everything--the moment you began your first job, where you were when you heard that news story about a tragedy, or how the music made you feel when you went on that first date. Music is linked to more than physical moments. They are portals to a catalog of emotional memories from different points in life. It can point to places in our lives that remind us of how we've grown--or where we need to work.

For example, I recently told someone about a moment I'd had during my quarter-life crisis--I was standing at a bus stop on my way to a job that I didn't actually hate. I had headphones on and was listening to my recently purchased Black-Eyed Peas CD- Elephunk. By the time the bus was arriving, I had reached track #4 titled Hey Mama-, and I somehow had spiraled into an existential life crisis and was weeping at this bus stop--and was, from what I remember inconsolable. Don't ask me what triggered the lament, but I definitely remember the music. The entire scene would have fit perfectly into a coming-of-age movie--I was definitely giving main character angst.
For some people, listening to music can be an important part of their daily routine. They might make a conscious effort to choose certain songs or genres that they know will put them in a certain mood, and if they're not consciously choosing what kind of soundtrack they want for themselves, it might happen subconsciously based on their surroundings. The soundtrack to our lives can change over time as we grow older and live through different experiences. The same song can take on a completely different meaning as we go through life; it's up to us whether we let it bring us down or lift us up when it does. If you want to truly find yourself, don't stop listening to your favorite tunes – just consider what they really mean to you now.
Music gives us a sense of time and place. Think about some of your favorite songs from junior high or high school. You'll probably notice a few things: They were often love songs, and they probably made you believe you were in the middle of the greatest love story ever told. Then there was the break up--a tragedy greater than anything Shakespeare could write, and there's one track lined up to play over and over when heartbreak shows up—both genres of song get added to our lifetime music catalog as reminders of these transformative experiences.
We live in a world where music can be streamed on-demand from any device, but many of us remember the tactical experience of vinyl records, CDs, and cassette tapes. Music was physical. Waiting for a single--yes, a single to drop, or standing in line at the Sam Goody or Virgin Record store because your favorite artist was releasing a new masterpiece after 4 years. All of those experiences contributed to the building of our soundtracks. Which song reminds you of being 15 years old and first discovering your love for a particular artist?
If you feel like everything has been quiet lately, take some time to craft a personal life soundtrack for yourself right now! Why do these tracks matter to you? What would happen if they disappeared tomorrow (and could never return)? Think about all of your happiest moments from grade school through high school, college, and beyond. Have those moments been defined by certain songs and artists? Did a band or song define your transition into adulthood when you graduated high school or college? What songs take you back to good times with friends that have since passed away or moved away from where you live now? When you have a story to tell, what better way to tell it than with music?
And for those times when silence seems to be the only track on repeat---lean into it. Get curious. Ask the questions. Accept the gifts that only silence can offer, because life has proven time and time again that we will always reunite with our soundtracks eventually.

PICK A PLAYLIST

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Producer’s Commentary

What's the point of life if you're not living it to the fullest? Have you ever felt the weight of someone else's wants and needs pushing down on you? Have you ever taken your own happiness as a given while fighting tooth and nail to make someone else happy? Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, being happy is more important than making someone else happy? If so, let me tell you that these are not selfish thoughts or feelings; they are some of the most selfless thoughts and feelings there are because when we have them, we free ourselves to be who we really are meant to be.
When we live our own happiness, it benefits everyone around us in unimaginable ways. If you're not happy with your work, your love life, your friendships, or the other major factors in your life, it's time to make changes and start living the happiest version of your life that you can imagine. To do this, it's important to be aware of what happiness means to you as an individual. It's important not to confuse what other people want for you with what you want for yourself. If you base your actions on what others think is best for you, or how others define success—rather than doing what feels right in your heart—you'll likely sacrifice something that makes your lived experience unique to you.

As psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone writes, While it's a great idea to ask people what they need from us, no one else can tell us who we are or how we should live our lives. So consider other people's advice carefully, but don't let it dictate your path. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Following your own bliss and happiness requires courage because it could mean disappointing someone else along the way and proceeding anyway.
I Choose Me
In the pursuit of happiness, we assume our choices will always lead to pain for someone we love and care about.--and there are times that it will. More often we'll discover that the people who love us back are rooting for us to live our happiest lives. We cannot choose the reaction of others and learning to let go of wanting to control how others experience us takes work. We can't make those choices for other people. Whatever the situation may be, remember that actions speak louder than words and always do what is best for you first—because when you're happy you truly are better able to help others and be an inspiration rather than a strain on others who care about you.
What if we all did it? What if we chose ourselves first? Isn't life too short not to try new things and experience everything? It's not hyperbole to say the most important person in your life is yourself! You're worth being kind to! You're worth loving! Because no one else can fill those shoes like YOU! If anyone ever tells you differently then walk away-its not worth wasting another minute of your time with them. Life's too short not to live yours with passion and purpose.
Does This Mean Not Taking Care Of Other People?
It's not about doing what you want, ignoring what others need, and never taking care of others—that's an immature, selfish way to look at life. It means not allowing your own feelings to come into conflict with someone else's needs—our family members, partners, or children need love and attention, too. Nurturing our relationships from a place of personal joy and bliss compounds the experience. Watching the people we love thrive is a source of happiness. You have to make sure that you are living for yourself first. If your life doesn't make you happy, then what's the point? You leave your cup empty, or what I see is that we prioritize pain and suffering so much our cups are full of bitter, salty waters--either way --everybody just ends up dehydrated.
Growing up, we're told that we have to be "good" and our lives must fit a certain narrative so we can get things like love and respect from our parents, teachers, and peers. People live their lives doing what others want for fear that it will make them happy or because they think it will give them security. Were celebrated when we live for others, and reject the instinct to do what's right for ourselves. Doing what makes us happy—is often judged as unrighteous, sinful, or immoral. We should only invest in doing things for other people, even if those things make our lives less enjoyable. Because indulging in suffering will turn us into good people. Living a life that is authentic for you doesn't mean it's wrong for others. We all have a right to live our own truths, and it may stir resistance from the people in your life because it doesn't feel comfortable or secure. It takes courage and confidence to live your own truth unapologetically.
Living your own happiness isn't about moving away from people and relationships but toward them. Many of us feel that we live to serve others; our loved ones, friends, colleagues, and even strangers come before us because it brings us joy to make someone else happy. But what happens when we neglect our own needs? What happens when we ignore our own happiness for long enough?

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You used to know that when you got the mail, there was bound to be something in it with your name on it – may be a letter or two, or even an unexpected package! With so much communication happening online these days, and few of us receiving paper bills anymore, the odds that you get something like that have gotten lower and lower. Are we losing something by not knowing what’s going on in our friends’ lives as often as we used to? It can feel that way sometimes. Maybe they feel the same way? Maybe there’s room in our lives to be communicating more in person than virtually? Writing a letter is a way to slow down and connect with another person in a more intimate way—it also sparks a new curiosity in the reader about the sender, and we could all use a touch more curiosity in our every day.

Producer’s Commentary

I like letter writing, a lot of people don’t or are out of practice because we are accustomed to using text messages and other forms of communication over paper letters. I’m not trying to be old-fashioned, but maybe we could take a moment to remind ourselves why we shouldn’t give up slow communications in favor of digital alternatives. There is a unique joy in writing a letter and receiving one. Can we make space for the practice of analog communication and intentional connection?

Write with love and genuine interest

There's something about writing with pen and paper that just feels different than typing on a digital device. Maybe it's the fact that you can physically feel the pen scratching against the paper, or that you can see your own handwriting rather than a computer-generated font. Whatever the reason, there's just something special about writing by hand.

And it's not just us - famous writers, artists, and thinkers have all extolled the virtues of analog communication. In a world where we're constantly bombarded with digital information, taking the time to slow down and write by hand can be a welcome respite. There's the added bonus of being able to keep your handwritten notes and letters as cherished mementos. In an age where everything is ephemeral and disposable, it's nice to have something physical to hold onto.

Why bother?

1. Our email inboxes have become our virtual barn for mail, taking up space and cluttering our digital lives with a never-ending stream of messages.

2. The convenience of digital communication means we’re more likely to share thoughts and news via text message, social media, or email instead of through slower methods like letters or postcards.

3. Everything’s so easy now, we forget to slow down and appreciate how effortless it is to communicate onscreen rather than by pen and paper (like it used to be). As a result, we lose touch with handwritten communications like letters or postcards from people who are important to us but may not be close enough for text messaging or constant phone calls.

While digital communication is easier and more convenient, it is also missing something. Letters and other hand-written notes can have a unique intimacy that digital messages lack. We live in a world where people are often too busy to take the time to stop and write something thoughtful. It can be nice to take some time to thoughtfully craft a handwritten letter to someone you care about.

Putting it into practice

Start by finding some stationery that you like. This can be anything from fancy paper to a simple notebook. Then, find a pen that you enjoy writing with. Once you have your supplies, sit down and decide what you want to say.

If you're writing to a friend, start with a greeting and catch up on what's been going on in their life. If you're writing to someone you don't know well, introduce yourself and explain why you're writing. Once you've got the opening figured out, start filling in the body of the letter.

Remember to keep it personal - this is your chance to really connect with someone. Write about things that are important to you and things that you think would interest them. When you're finished, close with a friendly sign-off and your name.

Seal your letter in an envelope, address it, and pop it in the mail. Then sit back and wait for the joy of

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The right kind of curiosity, properly applied can truly change your life. Through it, you gain a deeper understanding of the world. But where does this quality come from? And when do we stop nurturing it? Is it possible to have too much curiosity? What are the implications of our failure to nurture it? Curiosity can be described as our desire to learn, understand, or explore a particular thing or experience. Curiosity is one of those things that are innate (born with) in some people and something that has to be nurtured in others…..

Producer’s Commentary

The right kind of curiosity, properly applied can truly change your life. Through it, you gain a deeper understanding of the world. But where does this quality come from? And when do we stop nurturing it? Is it possible to have too much curiosity? What are the implications of our failure to nurture it?

Curiosity can be described as our desire to learn, understand, or explore a particular thing or experience. Curiosity is one of those things that are innate (born with) in some people and something that has to be nurtured in others. Most people feel it only when they see a new idea or when they are presented with something new. Think about your own childhood or your own children— you may have been or have a child who is curious about everything from their environment to how things worked. If you raised another child, you may have found them uninterested in anything new because they felt they already knew all there was to know about their world.

Curiosity leads to questioning, questioning leads to learning, and learning leads to understanding. But curiosity is vulnerable. It takes courage to be curious; it's so easy just to accept what you see and hear, even if that information isn't true or valid. Curiosity opens up doors of opportunity for growth, but it can also open you up to criticism from those who don't understand its importance. No one should be afraid to say or hear "I don't know."

It’s challenging to be curious in a world that tells us not to ask too many questions. We buy into a false belief system when we hear things like don’t ask too many questions, you’ll never know where you will end up!

We live in a world of time-pressed people and you can be perceived as annoying, so just don't talk that much. It was probably a parent or caretaker in our childhood who told us to hush because curiosity didn’t fit in with their agenda for us. Maybe it was a teacher—there’s definitely something about school culture which discourages questioning at an early age.

As we grow older, that natural curiosity can sometimes be replaced by a fear of offending someone or being seen as annoying. People may be trying to avoid awkward silences or painful conversations. Maybe they're afraid they'll sound stupid if they ask a question that everyone else already knows. Other times, it comes down to how our environment has changed us in subtle ways. For example, taking an extra step to get past a bad relationship or getting over depression can change your perspective on things in such a way that you become less curious about them.

Methods For Continuing To Ask Questions (Curiosity Practice)

Curiosity is an essential ingredient for learning. However, as we grow up, it can be stifled by people around us and societal norms. One way to encourage our natural curiosity is through play.

One of my favorite techniques for cultivating a spirit of curiosity is to simply ask myself a question, any question, every day. Once that initial interest is sparked, I can choose to spend more time pondering it. If I’m ever looking for something interesting to occupy my attention, I just ask myself a question.

Follow the interest that will fuel your imagination instead of those that will teach a specific skill. Focus on expanding your knowledge in just one area each month. Maybe start with something you are a little bit interested in but not enough to get really into it (like baking or German).

Use a freewriting method. At least once a day, grab your journal or computer and answer these two questions: What am I passionate about in my life right now? And what am I curious about at work right now? For each of these, try to come up with at least 10 things you are actively working on or thinking about that you find fulfilling or interesting.

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