Man Blues: Recent Episodes
Leon Deggs
It's about time that men had a platform to discuss MENtal health. Tune in to hear discussions on issues and why men don't seem able to talk.
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This episode is all about that internal monologue and asking why it's always so horrible to me.
What is the negative critical voice
Silence your inner critic
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In this episode we discuss bad drivers, road rage, frustrations as well as why is there an expectation that the man always drives?
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This episode is about the scourge of our gut and why it makes us want to fart in polite company; specifically in a new relationship.
When is a good time to introduce it?!
How to start farting in your new relationship (this requires an account to read it all, so you might want to find a hack way in)
Couples that fart together, stay together
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On this episode we discuss compromise and whether it's happening for you or you just find yourself giving in and backing down.
Compromise: the good, that bad and the difference
Healthy vs Unhealthy compromise
How compromise helps your relationship
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This episode is all about how behaviour is affected by having strength in numbers, but also about why sometimes being in a group isn't healthy.
Why Do People Act Differently in Groups
How to leave a group (of friends)
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This episode is about treading the tightrope of information sharing. When is too much? When is too little?
Is there a happy medium or does it simply depend on the audience and level of detail required?
Oversharing vs authenticity
How to know if I’m oversharing
Six Ways to Stop Oversharing
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This episode is all about reframing failure and why it's important to learn from but also to let go of your past failures.
Reframe failure
Successful people reframe
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This week's episode is all about those times I've met the husbands of my wife's friends and he's turned out to be a racist.
What do you do? What's the etiquette? Why am I worrying about these things and not just calling him out?
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This week's show is all about the struggle men face when trying to understand those hidden non-verbal communication techniques from women.
Oh, and not to mention that they often speak in riddles and use confusing language.
Communicating with women
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This episode is all about the scourge of not texting back. This isn't just men not texting women, but men not texting in general.
Who do we think we are?!
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This week's episode is all about life getting in the way and how it can affect friendships and social life.
Oh, and your Man Blues.
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This episode is all about the perils of mixing friend groups as well as being mixed into other friend groups.
It's not always easy to manage and ever more difficult to ensure your mixed-friend will enjoy themselves.
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This show focuses on how you should behave in regard to reaching out to the grieving to give your support.
How do you use those new tools?!
21 ways to help someone you love through grief
How to check in on someone grieving
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This week's episode features Duncan, a mental health professional and social worker who engages predominantly with teenagers as well as adults.
He shares his insights into his work.
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This episode is about not knowing how to handle someone's grief; not having the right toolkit to help them or yourself.
Helping someone who is grieving
Checklist for talking to someone who is grieving
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This episode is about the difficulty in separating cynicism from experience.
Experience is earned over a lifetime, but it can easily make you a cynic.
Strategies to stop being cynical
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This episode is about trying to disguise our current emotional state in automated responses to important questions.
How are you? No, really...
When you're not actually ok
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On this week's show we're joined by Sarah who is a counsellor and mental health professional who is right on the front-line in the battle against Man Blues.
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This show is about men and how we don't want to ask for help for even the simplest things.
Why are we unable to admit our struggle?
Why is it hard for men to ask for help
Why don't men ask for help (MensGroup)
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This episode is all around why do we feel the need to offer constructive (or otherwise) criticism when we've not been asked for any?
Just leave it alone and enjoy it for what it is.
Self critical perfectionism
How to take constructive criticism well
Overcoming Anhedonia
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In this week's episode we ask the question: are your male friends all they're cracked up to be?
Do you get what you need from them or are you left wanting?
Male friendships are important
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In this episode we discuss the possible stigmatisms around beer and the drinking thereof.
Am I not manly if I prefer something else?
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After a brief break, we're back.
In this episode it's about being called a Reply Guy and how it's killing debate and discussion.
It's also a real thing that is caused by men in the first place. So do we deserve this moniker? Probably.
Reply Guy explained
The Curse of the Reply Guy
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In this episode "having a wobble" means trying to clear away the clutter from your worries to allow you to focus.
Does it work or is it a bad practice?
How to stop worrying #1
How to stop worrying #2
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This episode is all about losing faith in the podcast and feeling it's a failure.
Feel like a failure
Ways to cope
10 healthy ways to cope with failure
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This episode is about how my anxiety that I didn't even know I had was robbing my family of the best of me.
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On this week's episode, Red gives us his opinions on sleep, managing staff and the work-life balance.
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On this week's show it's about how the education system is geared up to allow boys to fail. Boys don't tend to excel in exams and yet no-one has any plans to change the system.
Study tips: Parent's guide to...
But hunt around. There's so much out there for you.
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On this episode it's all about getting started with exercise and why we feel pressure to do so.
Some helpful links on this topic:
Get over gymtimidation
Embarrassed to exercise?
Motivate yourself to exercise
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In this episode we discuss moving into a new age decade and round birthdays.
This includes the changing opinions we may have of each decade as it approaches.
If you suffer from FOGO, try this link:
Beat your fear of aging
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On this week's episode it's all about Male Grooming and whether or not it's something we should pursue.
8 habits of well-groomed men
Male Grooming wiki
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On this episode we discuss why it can be so dofficult to get naked in front of others.
Not just when getting intimate but at other times too.
There are lots of interesting resources on this topic. Give these a read:
Coping with Gymnophobia
Being comfortable naked around someone new
Get more comfortable being naked
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On this week's show it's all about the poison that it Social Media.
Why is it so harmful and nasty? Why can't people just be nicer to each other?
Also, why is it so addicitve?
Social Media addiction tips
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On this show it's all about why memory only records certain things. I never seem to remember meeting people who are important or significant in my life, much to their chagrin.
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On this show we discuss why misery loves company and why it might not be as fun as first thought. There can be a darker undercurrent to it.
How to be less miserable
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On this week's show it's all about the guilt associated with buying flowers for your significant other.
Why do they get so upset? Why do they automatically assume you've done something wrong and are feeling guilty?
Guess what, we've no idea either.
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On this show it's all about people giving you unwanted advice and their motivations behind it.
What's behind the advice
Steps to help you stop
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On this episode we discuss the scourge that is stalking apps and how this is simply a terrible control tool for the weak-minded and weak-willed men out there who want to have complete control over someone.
If you want to understand more about stalker apps and how to find if you have one installed on your phone: read this
If you struggle with jealousy, read this site.
In this episode we discuss the perils of being a workaholic and why it's not got for you for for anyone.
Understanding workaholism
This is a bit off-piste for topics on Man Blues but it came from things overheard by parents when speaking to their children.
Don't blame your bad parenting techniques on male strangers. That's not healthy in so many different ways.
This episode is all about believing that you could have been something, a someone, a name, a personality known throughout the world.
Does that weigh on you? If so, why?
Here is a link with some tips on how to overcome this:
It's Normal to Suck at Something When You're Just Getting Started
In this episode we discuss how mortality and the awareness of it affects our Man Blues.
Check out these links below for some help and guidance on this:
How to Finally Accept Death & Cope With Your Mortality
Death Anxiety: 9 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Death
8 Healthy Coping Skills for Death Anxiety
In this episode, we talk about the pros and cons of retail therapy and how it affects our Man Blues
Impulse buying seems to be the only way we're able to make meaningful purchases.
Is retail therapy helpful?
How to deal with retail therapy
In this episode we discuss why we feel the need to bolster our anecdotes and stories with little bits of extra spice to liven them up.
Is there some deep-seated need to do this or are we trying to impress and thereby making ourselves susceptible to ridicule?
How to tell a better story
In this episode it's all about talking to myself and why I do it.
No, not internally. I verbalise these conversations and thoughts.
Is it bad? Should I stop. And what's the impact on my #ManBlues?
Why do I do it?
Tips to help me stop
This week's show is all about mansplaining. But to get there, it needs explaining. By a man. Sadly.
There are, however, some good tips on how to stop yourself if you are a mansplainer.
And a lot of research went into this one. We hope it comes across.
The Four sides model
In this episode it's all about why golf seems to be a thing for Father's Day. In fact, stereotypical gifts in general.
It's a bit of a rant for which we can only apologise.
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Welcome to season 2 with this full episode dealing with procrastination.
Apologies for the joke episode, but we really do deal with it this time,
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On this episode we finally find the time to piece together some notes about procrastination.
Or do we?!
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On this week's show we're joined by Red and Zorro and we end up having a nicely organic conversation about all sorts of things.
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A tricky episode to record as it was difficult to strike the right tone.
But why is it that dads are often seen stepping back from parenting when the mother is there? Dads are just as capable as mums.
Sadly, there's no positivity here other than: keep at it, dads. You've got this!
In this episode we delve into the whys and wherefores of men and their competitiveness.
Not focussing on professional athletes, but focussing on you. Why do you feel the need to step up and win?
Useful links:
How women and men view competition
How to stop being competitive
On this episode the topic up for discussion and scrutiny is showing off.
This podcast is a way of showing off, as is anyone who dominates a conversation or holds an audience.
But is it all bad? And how do you tell if you are a show-off?
Useful links:
Are you a show-off?
How to stop showing off
On this episode we discuss regrets and how they come to shape our lives. Also, how something might not even be a regret because there was just no opportunity for it to happen in the first place.
This was an interesting resource from Psyche.
On this week's episode we discuss living with an overactive mind.
The thoughts aren't necessarily obtrusive or malevolent, but they are annoying.
Like: shut up already, brain!
On this week's episode we ask why it's sometimes so difficult to just accept compliments and praise.
Why squirm? Why be awkward and distant?
Just lean into and soak it up.
After all, it's all about your #manblues and overcoming them.
Interesting article on self-appreciation.
Blog with handy tips.
On this week's episode we see the return of Red. However, this time the conversation is much more organic.
We cover: coping with pressure, changing the clocks, discussion about the success of the podcast, pub culture, caring vs carer, covid vaccine vs covid, working from home to name but a few.
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In this episode we discuss the sexism of certain jobs in a relationship.
Why is it considered to be the responsibility of the man to complete this particular job?
Women are just as capable as men. If that affects your #manblues, listen in.
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On this episode we delve into the great unknown: women's problems.
Specifically: why aren't men given the lowdown on periods? Why is this kept from us?
It affects MENtal health to hide this from us. How are we supposed to help, empathise, understand if we're kept in the dark?
Read this great explanation.
In this episode we explore why some men can only express their true feelings when they've had a drink.
There might be no rhyme or reason to it, but there could equally be a whole raft of societal factors behind it.
Who knows?
It's all about your MENtal health.
If you want to understand more about it, read this article.
The most recognisable disappointment, surely.
That "cringe" factor that will add to your #ManBlues.
For tips and tricks to help you forgive yourself, read this webpage: The Shine App
In this 2nd of 3 parts we discuss the impacts of and how to avoid disappointing someone else.
It may be avoidable or they may not be a nice person.
We give your #manblues the tools in the fight.
Also: see this website for more tips: Katie Morton
In this first of 3 parts we discuss the impacts and meaning when someone is disappointed in you.
Now, it could be legitimate, but we argue that this might not necessarily be true.
ManBlues is real, and having someone be disappointed with you is very real.
On this episode it's time to get the real #manblues issue: men who think it's ok to be a stereotypical man and ruin things for the rest of us.
They rob us of the argument "I'm not like other men" and it's time for it to stop.
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In this episode it's all about fatherhood and what that entails. The ups, the downs, and all the bits inbetween.
It's not always all about the mothers. Some dads also struggle. And #manblues is here for you!
While we realise this topic may be a little niche and specific, we talk about coping with living as two distinct and opposing personalities.
You may suffer from this and not even realise. Look after your MENtal health, guys.
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On this episode we discuss why it's so difficult to lead a healthy lifestyle, why fitness comes with so many challenges and barriers to success and the fight for your #manblues.
Don't be afraid to reset, for the good of your MENtal health.
One of the toughest things to do is to maintain motivation for any New Years resolution you make. And I firmly believe that a February check-up won't hurt anyone. It should help focus you (not shame you) and encourage you. Even if it means you have to start again.
Any resolution you made was for a better you. So let's keep that motivation going.
This episode sees the welcome return of our special guest: Red.
He comes back to tell us about his tiredness, blue-light issues and general MENtal health issues concerning technology.
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On this show the topic is sex. It is difficult to be good at sex, as a man. If you're too good, it arouses suspicions as to the number of partners. Too inept and you're ridiculed. It's a fine line. And let's not even get into the fear of didappointment or laughter when you reveal yourself.
It's fun to do, but can be intimidating. For both partners. Think about your MENtal health, guys. You matter.
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Criticism rarely comes from a good place. Even positive criticism comes from a place where a positive had to be found to make the criticism more palatable.
But criticism is necessary for your MENtal health. You need to voice your upset as well as be able to accept your imperfections.
And you do have them.
This link gives tips on how to stop criticising and improve your relationship. It's well worth a read.
Ever been accused of not listening? Especially by a significant other? There may well be a good reason for that. You may not be a bad person; you may just be listening for the wrong things.
It's also about your MENtal health too.
An interesting blog here.
In this episode we discuss friends and how important it is to reach out and stay in contact. Also about the importance of recognising bad friends and what to do about it.
Keep the good, purge the bad. Anything to help your MENtal health.
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In this episode we're talking about success and not failure. There's a huge difference between the two and just because something (this podcast) isn't successful doesn't mean it's a failure.
Success (and failure) can have such an impact on your MENtal health, so let's talk about it.
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This episode is a little self indulgent. But it's because I made a promise some time ago and never came good on it.
This week's show is just a showcase of some of the songs I've written and recorded over the years.
Here's the SoundCloud link to my profile.
Fashion can be the bringer of joy and pain in equal amounts. We discuss having the latest gear and the impact on your MENTal health.
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Nevermind Robert Smith's sentiment about getting old yesterday; this has been creeping up for years now. And while being older brings some positivity and negativity, it's about trying to strike that balance between the two for the good your MENtal and physical health.
Chin up, granddad. Might never happen!
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As the Winter draws in it's time to discuss SAD: Seasonal Affected Disorder.
It can affect everyone and will affect them in different ways. It's all about MENtal health and it's not fair that the seasons can play a part in that too.
The symptoms and support suggestions given in this episode were all lifted from the NHS website.
Annoyingly tried to name this episode "I told you I was ill" but it had been taken. Not bad, I guess, to get 22 eps into a podcast before my title idea is unavailable.
In this episode we discuss how it feels to be ignored when you inform people you're unwell. Why do men get accused of hypochondria, and why state we've got man flu like it's not even a thing?! My MENtal health matters as much as my physical health
This episode is all about money worries and not feeling as though the spending on oneself is justified. Aren't we all allowed something nice, even if it's just for our MENtal health?
If you've got money worries, check out this webiste for some great advice: https://www.moneycrashers.com/stop-worrying-money/
In this episode we speak to Red and ask him how his MENtal health is and get his take on #manblues in general.
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What exactly is a male stereotype and do all men conform to them. Stereotypes exist because enough men do conform. But this is detrimental to your MENtal health if you're being perceived as a stereotypical male. Or is it? Well, one thing's for sure: we've not got the answers.
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On this episode we try to understand why men are perceived as emotionless, why they have problems displaying their emotions and why those emotions can often be at the more violent end of the spectrum. MENtal health is tricky, but is often made more difficult because men simply don't have the right tools for the job.
Tips on becoming more vulnerable
101 therapeutic hobbies for men
It doesn't affect me personally but I do worry for my son as he ventures out into the Dating World. So many pitfalls, so many missed-chances, so much risk.
It's difficult to strike the right tone with this subject so I hope this doesn't cause offence as it's just a discussion to help with MENtal health.
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In this week's episode it's the turn of that old favourite: toxic masculinity. So you'd better man-up and get listening. Do as you're told, boy. Stop snivelling. Who cares about your MENtal health?
Well, we do!
Notes and definitions were lifted from verywellmind.com
In this episode we discuss the startling male suicide statistics and the reasons behind them.
Also, we discuss how suicide affects more than one person and how we've all come into contact with it in some way.
Chaps, we need to talk. Before it's too late.
Please check out CALM: Campaign Against Living Miserably
They have some superb help and guides for anyone in need of support.
Just something a little light-hearted in this episode: a few stories of the joyful times had during my wife's pregnancy. It wasn't all dark, which comes across in a previous episode. Enjoy.
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In this episode the topic of loneliness hoves into view. Is it ok to be alone? Are you happy to sit with you and your thoughts or do you crave other people.
If you think you're feeling lonely, some tips are provided in this pod which were lifted from the Mental Health Foundation webiste and are just perfect for you and your MENtal health.
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This will be a very different story to the previous episode about my father. Not least because it's about my mother. No, because our relationship wasn't great and there was very little emotion. It's hard to fully unpack this relationship in fifteen minutes so, who knows, I may come back to this one at some point. This relationship definitely impacted on my MENtal Health.
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In this episode I explain the story around my father's death when I was only 9 years old and how I coped. It was a quick death and we dealt with it in a child-like manner. Grief is tough, but not grieving is tougher. Focus on your MENtal health.
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No, it's not sour grapes or being a sore loser. It's about why men need to be competitve in the first place. It's about bad winners. There are too many men who are incapable of playing a board game or sport without it being about winning or scoring points, and this is quite bad for MENtal health. See what you think.
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Ok, pregnancy is solely the woman's domain. But men play a part in this too. Not all men are inept and incapable and we can also struggle and suffer in completely different and unknown ways during these nine months. And beyond. But men also need a voice during this time and are often disregarded because we're reminded to think of what the woman is going through. Hopefully I can tell enough stories about myself here that will shed light on why men need some TLC too.
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In this episode I discuss the perception of the bad boyfriend/partner. It's something anyone who's been in a relationship will likely have had thrown at them. But is the criticism a fair one? And where is the help and support for men what want to try to be better? Exactly. We're left on our own.
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In this episode the discussion is all about expectations and how this can affect your #manblues and MENtal health. Should you run into the fray, or be able to fix everything? Or is that just an unfair expectation?
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In this show we discuss self-belief and why it dissipates so quickly. There's a fine, blurred, line between confidence and arrogance and the modern man must tread this line carefully. Deggsie talks about perceived talents and why he does or doesn't believe in them. This is a vital piece of the MENtal health jigsaw.
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On this episode Man Blues discusses anxiety. There are many things that can make people anxious and it can get people into real problems and even lead to panic attacks. Luckily, Deggsie has never had a panic attack, but does find other things make him anxious. There are also some helpul tips at the end of the episode to help with anxiety. Look after your MENtal health, people.
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On this episode, Deggsie discusses anger issues and tries to understand why the anger affects his life so much sometimes.
There are a few mitigating factors and a few suggestions for dealing with it.
As ever, please feel free to reach out either on Twitter (@ManBluesUK) or at manblues@gmx.com
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On this episode Man Blues delves into the murky world of weight and fat/body shaming. Fat is not just a feminist issue; it's for everyone. And nothing affects your mental health more than your own perceptions of self and how you're seen by others. MENtal health matters, chaps and chapesses.
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On this show Man Blues delves into the dictionary definition for depression, looks at symptoms and explanations as well as discussing how to spot the small joys in the world and embrace those. Remember: it's all about your MENtal health.
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This is the first episode where the concept of the podcast is explained.
Men don't really talk about their MENtal health. Well, not as much as we should.
This episode explores the issue and lays out the future episodes of the podcast.
Please reach out if you want to get in touch: @ManBluesUK or manblues@gmx.com
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