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A source close to Jolie says the news didn’t shock her at all. Her private response to Pitt drinking again, after all the years and all the court battles, comes down to three words: “I told you so.”
Angelina Jolie at the “Coutures” premiere held at Pathe Palace in Paris on February 9, 2026, wearing an embellished silver gown. Photo by Aurore Marechal / Getty Images.Pitt said Monday that he’d “got back off the wagon” after seven years sober, insisting he now drinks in moderation and knows he can’t have too much. People close to Jolie aren’t convinced, and neither is she.
Brad Pitt waves to the crowd at a New York party celebrating the premiere of “Johnny Suede” at Tilt on August 11, 1992. Photo by Catherine McGann / Archive Photos via Getty Images.“Angelina is not surprised. She tried to warn people. She knew this was always a possibility,” a source told Naughty But Nice.
Pitt stopped drinking after the 2016 split, which followed the private-plane incident that became a turning point in the marriage. Jolie later made allegations about his behavior on that flight and toward their children, allegations Pitt has disputed. The couple settled their divorce in 2024 after eight years of legal battles.
The source says Jolie doesn’t believe he’s fundamentally changed: “She believes Brad is who Brad is, and no amount of sobriety or reinvention changes that.” Her stance now is to stay out of it. “She doesn’t believe him, and she doesn’t want to get dragged back into his drama.”
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Releasing doubt is a decisive act of worship that honors God’s ability to do the impossible, according to Karin Hadadan. To deepen this realization, Rebecca Simon’s Finding God Every Day offers practical ways to anchor your daily routine in the truths that sustain a heart of confidence.
Sometimes doubt can quietly take over our thoughts and make us rely more on what we see than on the promises we believe in. Those moments are a reminder to shift from uncertainty to trust, holding on to the faith that what is meant for you is already possible in God’s hands. Pause and pray this with me.
Trust God’s power to work in your life. Read moreDear God,
Today I come to you to request increased belief and trust in your power, as the doubt in my mind has been limiting my faith in you. I know you have an unlimited ability to work beautifully in my life—that you will provide miracles as long as I believe in you.
I confess that I have operated from doubt rather than soul certainty, looking for proof in the physical world instead of trusting in your promises. Help me stop asking ‘if you can’ and start believing that you already have everything accomplished in your hands.
Discover more about experiencing God’s power through faith. Read books by Rebecca Simon.I commit to approach you with expectant faith, knowing that if I operate from soul certainty, everything is possible through you. Transform my heart so that I become the person who already has what I’m praying for, trusting your spiritual promises over physical evidence.
Amen.
Trump Media, the company behind Truth Social, just reported a steep widening of its quarterly losses, and its crypto investments appear to be the main culprit.
Trump Media lost $238 million last quarter, up from $20 million a year ago, mostly on its crypto bets.
That’s a 12x jump in losses in a single year, and most of it came from crypto that cratered when investors ran from risk.
Over the same three months, the company took in just $1.7 million in revenue.
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The wife of Mayor Mamdani is reportedly seeking an NYPD security detail — paid for by taxpayers — to accompany her on an upcoming trip abroad.
The destinations are Syria and Lebanon, two countries that sit on the State Department’s “Do Not Travel” list, where Americans are warned off because of active danger.
The trip is set to start September 20. According to a source, it isn’t city business: “It’s not doing anything for the city.”
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Finding peace starts with surrendering our worries to the universe and trusting that God’s guidance will meet us in the middle of our uncertainty. Best-selling author of Finding God Every Day, Rebecca Simon, reminds us to trust God’s timing, embrace patience, and lean on His presence through every season of life.
A new week means there is still room for God to move. Keep believing that what hasn’t happened yet can still become the prayer you finally get to call answered.
For more inspiration on ways to connect with God, check out this books by Rebecca Simon
God,
The first week of August has passed and I’m still believing. Still trusting. Still holding onto the expectation that this month carries something I haven’t seen yet. And as this new week begins, I’m asking you to let this be the week where things finally shift.
For more inspiration on ways to connect with God, check out this books by Rebecca Simon
Break through in the area I’ve been praying about the longest. Break through the silence that’s been making me wonder if anything is moving. Break through the delay that’s been testing my patience more than I want to admit. Let this week be the one where I see tangible evidence that you’ve been working behind the scenes all along.
For more inspiration on ways to connect with God, check out this books by Rebecca Simon
God, I don’t want to just get through this week — I want to see you move in it. I want to look back on this week and point to something that could only have been you. A door that opened. A prayer that was answered. A shift that didn’t make sense on paper but had your fingerprints all over it.
It’s the second week of August, God. And I’m still believing for breakthrough. Let this be the week it comes.
Amen.
Aries
Your peers influence you the most because you always feel like you’re in a competition with them and want to succeed faster than they do so you can consider yourself ‘the best’.
Taurus
Your haters influence you the most because you want to prove them wrong and succeed despite all of the nasty things they have to say about you.
Gemini
Your favorite celebrities influence you the most because you put them on a pedestal and feel like your life would be significantly better if you were more like them.
Cancer
Your partner influences you the most because you want to make them happy by making choices they support–and since you’re a team, you value every opinion that they share with you.
Leo
Society as a whole influences you the most because you feel pressured to meet certain milestones by a certain age and believe the lies that magazines and movies are selling you.
Virgo
Your teachers and mentors influence you the most because you want to be exactly like them and feel like they must know better than you since they’re older and wiser.
Libra
Your mother figure influences you the most because you strive to be maternal like them and take good care of the people in your world that you care deeply about.
Scorpio
Your father figure influences you the most because you strive to be responsible like them and protect the people you love.
Sagittarius
Your bosses influence you the most because you’re trying to get ahead in your career and need to do whatever you can to impress them.
Capricorn
Your supporters influence you the most because you don’t want to disappoint them and let them down when they believe in you.
Aquarius
Your coworkers influence you the most because they motivate you to be creative and work your hardest at whatever task is thrown in front of you.
Pisces
Your friend group influences you the most because you only surround yourself with people who are strong and intelligent, so you trust their opinion more than you trust your own gut.
Because U.S. copyright law doesn’t protect a dress’s shape or silhouette, bridal brands are free to copy Taylor Swift’s wedding gown.
Taylor Swift takes the stage at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, held at Earl’s Court in London on December 2, 2014. Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.Taylor Swift still hasn’t shown the Christian Dior gown she wore at Madison Square Garden. That hasn’t stopped David’s Bridal, which has already sketched about two dozen knockoffs before anyone’s seen the real thing.
At Jenny Yoo’s New York City bridal boutique, designer Kat Eberley stitches away on a gown in August 2026. Photo by Jeenah Moon / Reuters.David’s Bridal’s Hong Kong design team has already drawn about 24 looks based on Swift’s likely taste, leaning into Hollywood glamour and drop-waist silhouettes, all before the July 3 dress has been revealed. The chain, which runs roughly 200 U.S. stores with gowns from a few hundred dollars to more than $3,000, says it’s seen a jump in searches for Swift-inspired designs.
At Jenny Yoo’s New York City bridal boutique, designer Kat Eberley puts finishing touches on a gown in August 2026. Photo by Jeenah Moon / Reuters.U.S. copyright law generally doesn’t protect the cut, shape, or silhouette of clothing, so a brand can legally build a dress that mimics an aesthetic, according to Brad D. Rose, an intellectual property lawyer at Pryor Cashman. What can get protected is the detail work: embroidery and beadwork. And falsely suggesting a tie to Swift or Dior would open up trademark trouble.
Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss share a backstage moment at the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, held at Earl’s Court in London on December 2, 2014. Photo by Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images.Viola Chan, head of couture at David’s Bridal in Hong Kong, said her team studied Swift’s personal life to sketch three groups: embellished ball gowns, simpler gowns with a touch of detail, and short dresses in case of a mid-ceremony change. Barcelona’s Pronovias, sold in more than 100 countries, plans to pull from the silhouettes, fabrics, and “attitude” of the look while keeping Swift’s and Dior’s names out of its marketing.
An AI-generated illustration of a bridal gown design, evoking the buzz around Taylor Swift’s rumored wedding dress and the knockoffs already in the works.The Justin Alexander Group is finalizing sketches for spring/summer 2028, due in stores autumn 2027, and CEO Justin Warshaw said a surge in demand could push the collection out sooner than the usual one-year timeline. For now, Galia Lahav and New York’s Jenny Yoo are waiting on the pictures. “The images make all the difference in the design world,” said Jenny Yoo design director Liza Pontoni.
At Jenny Yoo’s New York City bridal boutique, designer Kat Eberley stitches together a gown on August 6, 2026. Photo by Jeenah Moon / REUTERS.Thank you for reading Thought Catalog. You can follow us on Facebook here. Or check out our website.
Newly released text messages between Anthony Fauci and the surgeon general are drawing attention to a private exchange about the Covid vaccine and early pregnancy.
According to texts released by GOP senators, Fauci privately told the surgeon general that the Covid vaccine could “theoretically” be linked to first-trimester miscarriage.
The exchange happened in January 2021, as officials were still deciding what to tell pregnant women about the shot. Fauci flagged that fever and cytokine storm after the second dose could, in his word, be a concern for early pregnancy.
He then landed on the same advice everyone was giving: talk to your doctor.
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Tom Brady’s summer at sea has a new stop — and a lingering question about who’s aboard.
Brady is in Portofino with his kids and a blonde woman nobody can name yet. It’s the latest stop on a yacht trip that started in the South of France.
On the water, she sat right between him and 13-year-old Vivian.
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To play the narrator of “The Shards,” Igby Rigney had to become Bret Easton Ellis at 17 — the author’s real name, real high school, real senior year, secret boyfriends and all.
The 17-year-old narrator of Ryan Murphy’s new series is literally named Bret Easton Ellis, going to Ellis’s real high school in Ellis’s real senior year. Igby Rigney had to become the actual teenage author, secret boyfriends and all.
Igby Rigney joins co-stars Graham Campbell, Kaia Gerber, Hayes Warner, and Homer James Jigme Gere at the Berlin photocall for “The Shards” at AchtBerlin on August 3, 2026. Photo by Gerald Matzka / Getty Images.Rigney deliberately skipped reading the novel before his audition, wanting to respect the pilot scene as written. Ryan Murphy appreciated the instinct but told him to come back once he’d done his homework.
So Rigney turned to the audiobook, where Ellis reads the story himself. He never spoke to Ellis directly, but studied that recording until he’d pinned down the heavy, deliberate way Bret speaks.
The reason that cadence matters: the character isn’t loosely inspired by Ellis. He is Ellis. “The Shards” is autofiction, narrated by a 17-year-old named Bret Easton Ellis recounting his senior year at The Buckley School in Sherman Oaks in 1981, the year the real Ellis was 17 and a senior there. Ellis has said the social world, the people, and the emotional weather are drawn from his own life; the Trawler and the murders are invented.
In 1985 — his senior year at Buckley School and the year he wrote ‘Less Than Zero’ — a then-young Bret Easton Ellis sits for a portrait. Photo by Tony Palmieri / WWD / Penske Media via Getty Images.The real teenage Bret was already writing early material that would become “Less Than Zero,” published in 1985 when he was 21. He was publicly dating a girlfriend the book calls Debbie while, as he has said, having secret relationships with male classmates and hiding that he was gay. His father was a wealthy real-estate developer and an alcoholic; his parents were largely absent. Friends like Thom, Susan, and Debbie are based on real classmates with the names changed.
Rigney plays that 17-year-old in Murphy’s adaptation of Ellis’s 2023 novel, set among privileged teens in 1981 Los Angeles as the Trawler picks off their classmates. He narrates the series and grounds an ensemble that includes Homer Gere, Kaia Gerber, and Evan Rachel Wood.
Igby Rigney, who plays the teenage Bret Easton Ellis in Ryan Murphy’s ‘The Shards,’ at the series’ London screening held at 180 House on July 30, 2026. Photo by Ian West / PA Images via Getty Images.Now 23 and born in Westchester in 2003, Rigney says the distance of the era helped. “Looking like a different person in the mirror was super helpful,” he says of the cars, costumes, and hair that pulled him out of his own life and into Bret’s.
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The 19-year-old son of Rep. Lauren Boebert is facing a serious criminal charge in Colorado, one that lands as his mother enters a politically sensitive stretch of her career.
Tyler Boebert, the 19-year-old son of Rep. Lauren Boebert, faces a child sexual exploitation charge in Colorado.
He was arrested Sunday and released on bond the same day. The timing is difficult for the congresswoman, who is heading into a midterm year.
Asked about the allegations against her son, Lauren Boebert responded: “I love my son.”
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Alexa, play “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore. Here are three birth months who love thrift shopping.
SeptemberThis practical earth sign doesn’t see the need to spend all of their hard-earned money on fancy brand name or new clothing when they know there are plenty of beautiful and quality pieces they can find at thrift stores. Sure, it can take more time to sort through the racks, but those born in September know it’s totally worth it.
FebruaryThose born in February are known for being unique and this includes their style. This air sign has a deeply original vibe when it comes to their clothing choices and they are able to achieve their unusual looks by thrifting. But those born in February aren’t just interested in buying secondhand because they want to be different. February also knows shopping secondhand is better for the planet!
MarchThose born in March love, loves, loves to thrift. They find great joy in giving a new life to old pieces, finding value in clothes others decided they no longer wanted. Thrifting is truly an art form for this artistic water sign. Those born in March love putting together outfits of unusual pieces they find at their local thrift stores.
This reflection from Karin Hadadan reminds us that true belief unlocks God’s miracles, calling us to move from doubt into faith. Similarly, Rebecca Simon’s Finding God Every Day encourages daily practices that strengthen trust in what God can do. Learn more about this kind of faith, continue reading below.
“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
Mark 9:23
The only way to receive miracles is to believe that you can. In simple terms, it is solely the power of your beliefs that unlocks God’s limitless possibilities—the moment you fully find certainty in what God is capable of doing, He will deliver. The only reason why many people do not experience the abundance, wonder, and miracles that God has promised each and every one of us is because of human doubt—we struggle to see the unseen, we fail to feel certain in what is not yet visible in our physical reality, we find all the millions of ways why it can’t possibly happen, or, we focus more on what others are saying than God’s invisible truths.
Walk in confidence in God’s promises. Read more here.But the difference between hoping and truly believing is profound: true belief is when you operate from soul certainty instead of seeking external validation—certain in who God is, how He works, and what He’s able to do. When Jesus declared that “everything is possible for one who believes,” He wasn’t speaking about wishful thinking or positive psychology. He was revealing a spiritual law: faith positions us to receive what God desires to give.
If you truly believed that everything is possible, you don’t just hope things will happen—you become the person who already has what they’re praying for. You trust your spiritual knowing and God’s promises over physical evidence, where you embody the end result while the middle is still unfolding. Once you stop the old pattern of monitoring the physical world for proof and instead become the proof yourself, that level of faith is when God steps in and provides miracles.
Strengthen your faith in every moment. Let this book guide you.Whether it be healing, provision, abundance, restoration, or love—the moment you stop asking “if You can” and start believing that it’s already accomplished in God’s hands, you position yourself to witness the impossible become inevitable.
VirgoVirgos love alone time and are more times than not rather introverted. Virgos love being alone because they need to recharge from being around others. Plus, they’re always thinking about stuff — who was the first person to drink water from a coconut? How did coconuts come into existence? Who made the album artwork of Taylor Swift’s new album? Why does their cat hate them? So they need alone time to ponder life’s biggest questions. And let’s be real, they probably need a break from always being so perfect and to just veg out.
TaurusTaurus loves their alone time because people are stupid and annoying — simple as that. They’re not trying to be mean or nothing, but people just get on their nerves.
GeminiGemini loves being alone because they’re two-faced. They need alone time to decide which one of their personalities is running the show today. It’s like, are you green flag Joe Goldberg, or red flag Joe Goldberg? And let’s not forget, Geminis are so darn talkative. need alone time to give their mouth a rest. You know what I’m saying? Maybe I lost you on green flag Joe Goldberg…
CancerCancer humans need their alone time because they’re like little crybabies. They need to retreat to their shell and have a good cry, because life is just too hard sometimes. But hey, let’s cut them some slack, they’re super emotional. They need alone time to watch ‘The Notebook’ and just let it all out. That’s okay, we all need a good cry every now and then.
SagittariusYou do you, Sagittarius, you beautiful free spirit. Although you love a grand adventure or a crazy outing, sometimes true freedom requires disappearing into yourself. Your mind is a fascinating place as well.
AriesAries individuals are known for their energetic and outgoing personalities, and they thrive in social settings. Except there is still a little desire for introversion as well. So while they will most likely be out drinking wine friends, sometimes a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon alone is 100% a slice of heaven for them.
LibraAs a Libra, you have a natural inclination towards observing and analyzing people’s behavior, which often endears you to others. But!! this can become a challenge for you since you also value solitude and prefer spending time alone to reflect and recharge your energy.
LeoWhen it comes to Leo, we’re dealing with some alpha personalities here. These are some big cats, if you will, always looking to dominate the jungle. But even the mightiest lion needs a break, right? That’s where alone time comes in.
Pisces Pisces folks need alone time like a fish needs water. They are indeed the most introverted zodiac sign out there. So alone time is their love language. Speaking maybe too bluntly, Pisces can be a little too sensitive for this world. They need alone time to cry it out, to feel all the feels.
ScorpioScorpios are some deep, intense individuals — you dig? They need that solo time to get into the nitty-gritty of their own thoughts, to explore the darkest corners of their soul. What happens when they are alone though remains a mystery to all of us who are not Scorpios.
CapricornCapricorns are like these hard-working, driven human beings, always grinding, always striving for success. That takes a lot of energy. They need alone time to hear their own thoughts. So whenever you see a Capricorn taking time for themselves that means they are going come back onto the court of life all the more stronger and resolute in whatever goal they have at the moment.
AquariusSuch an are eccentric sign is Aquarius, they’re these quirky, off-beat characters and they need alone time to explore their own weirdness, to embrace their inner oddball. Once alone and inside their little oddball world, a new universe opens up where they get insane ideas that actually are useful and helpful. So let them go off alone into the woods and dream their weird dreams!
Aries
They ask themselves whether they’re interested in putting effort into making you happy and keeping the relationship strong or whether their heart just isn’t in it this time.
Taurus
They ask themselves whether you are trying your best to be a good partner or whether you couldn’t care less about how your actions impact them.
Gemini
They ask themselves whether you are treating them like a teammate and an equal or whether you always act like you know best and you’re in charge.
Cancer
They ask themselves whether you make them feel loved and appreciated, or whether you take their kind heart for granted.
Leo
They ask themselves whether you are consistently treating them right or whether you alternate between spoiling them and disappointing them.
Virgo
They ask themselves whether you have common dreams for the future or whether you’re on completely different pages about what happiness looks like.
Libra
They ask themselves whether you give them butterflies or whether you couldn’t care less about whether you spend time together or not.
Scorpio
They ask themselves whether they feel comfortable being themselves around you or whether they’re putting on an act with their guard up.
Sagittarius
They ask themselves whether you are helping them grow or are holding them back from becoming the person they’ve always dreamt of becoming.
Capricorn
They ask themselves whether you make them excited to spend the rest of your lives together or whether they dread the thought of being stuck together.
Aquarius
They ask themselves whether you treat them like a priority or make them feel like a backup plan that they’re forced to deal with.
Pisces
They ask themselves whether you are able to fulfill their most basic needs or whether you are only doing the bare minimum to keep them content.
AriesYou stubbornly try to win them over.
TaurusYou don’t even realize you’re in a one-sided relationship.
GeminiYou mope about how you’re never going to find love.
CancerYou fight for the relationship as long as possible.
LeoYou leave as soon as you realize this person isn’t giving you what you deserve.
VirgoYou get pissed at them for not rising to your standards.
LibraYou stay patient and wait for them to change their mind about you.
ScorpioYou notice all the red flags and choose to ignore them because you’re head over heels.
SagittariusYou try hard to get over this person. And fail. And try. And fail.
CapricornYou walk away early, before you get your heart broken.
AquariusYou keep giving out second chances until your heart can’t take it anymore.
PiscesYou stay friends with them and pretend it’s not killing you inside.
JC Chasez hit 50 on August 8. *NSYNC is now in the 45 – 54 demographic, and the internet has opinions about how each of them got here. Chasez has kept the lowest profile of the five, drifting into songwriting and production (he produced Titanique, dropped a 2024 concept album) and surfacing just often enough for comment sections to lose it over the silver-fox thing.
At SRGN Studios in Los Angeles on July 7, 2026, JC Chasez attends the Microhouse Films Launch Party. Photo by Gilbert Flores / Variety via Getty Images.Joey Fatone and JC Chasez together at Radio City Music Hall for the 79th Annual Tony Awards on June 7, 2026. Photo by Dia Dipasupil / WireImage via Getty Images.Chris Kirkpatrick, 54, is still the road warrior, grinding through Pop 2000 nostalgia tours. Joey Fatone, 49, has leaned fully into Broadway, reality TV (a 2026 show with Lance called Cocktail Wars), and Italian-dad energy (with a quirky mustache). Justin Timberlake, 45, is the youngest but carries the most public mileage after a rough 2024 (he has the mug shot and the harness pics to prove it). Lance Bass, 47, married to Michael Turchin and dad to twins, is the consensus best-ager of the group.
At the Today Show in New York City, Joey Fatone is spotted on August 10, 2026. Photo by Jason Howard/Bauer-Griffin / GC Images via Getty Images.The 2024 Folds of Honor Celebrity Golf Tournament at The Governors Club in Brentwood, Tennessee drew Chris Kirkpatrick on August 26, 2024. Photo by Jason Kempin / Getty Images.On August 10, 2026, New York City provided the backdrop for a sighting of Lance Bass. Photo by Raymond Hall / GC Images.Justin Timberlake’s June 2024 DWI booking photo from the Sag Harbor Police Department, released after his arrest in Sag Harbor, NY. Credit: Handout / Getty Images.They haven’t done a full tour, but they stay in a group chat, show up for each other’s Broadway runs, and have turned in a few reunion appearances across the 2020s.
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Any birth month can make a good partner, but some are born to become excellent spouses. The birth month is divided into four natural elements (earth, fire, air, and water), and one birth months from each element is destined to find marital bliss. Here are the four birth months that are marriage material, based on their unique birth month traits.
Earth Sign: MayEarth sign natives are stable, reliable, and down-to-earth. They take their commitments seriously, making them ideal marriage material. But May beats fellow earth sign natives January and September in the relationship department.
May natives are guided by Venus, the planet of love and beauty. Thanks to Venus’ influence, it’s easy for those born in May to attract a partner and maintain a relationship. They value romance and prioritize relationships, while September and January tend to be more devoted to their careers than romantic connections. Those born in May are also more soft, gentle, and sensual than the other earth sign natives, making them appealing to potential partners.
As a fixed sign, May is stubborn and set in their ways. And, as the sign of the bull, they are extremely hard-headed. While these qualities can cause conflict in relationships, it also means that those born in May are fully committed to their marriages. They will weather any storm and stick by their partner’s side, no matter what. They are true ride-or-dies, and anyone would be lucky to have them as a spouse.
Water Sign: NovemberWater sign natives are sensitive, emotional, and intuitive. They are deeply romantic and yearn for love, but when it comes to relationships, those born in November have an advantage over fellow water sign natives July and March. November rules the eighth house, which is the house of shared resources. This means that those born in November are born with the desire to partner with someone and share every aspect of life. Although they struggle with opening up, those born in November desperately want to find their soulmate. They are very selective about choosing a partner, but when they fall in love, they fall hard. Those with November birthdays are also a fixed sign and will remain steadfastly devoted to their marriage through thick and thin.
Each birth month rules a set of body parts that indicate that sign’s most attractive features, their strongest attributes, or the areas that are prone to illness. November rules the reproductive system and sexual organs, revealing that those born in November are, in fact, the sexiest birth month. They express themselves through sexuality and need physical contact to feel connected to their partner. Those born in November are also ruled by Pluto, the planet of transformation, and Mars, the planet of sex and passion. This means that those born in November are natural sexual healers, and an intimate relationship with them can be life-changing. Someone born in November marriage is bound to be a spicy, sexy, and profound experience.
Air Sign: OctoberAir sign natives are known for being social, intellectual, and creative. People born in October are by far the most dreamy and romantic air sign, whereas June and February are more practical and analytical. Although those born in October can be indecisive when it comes to choosing a partner, they adore being in love and are happiest in a committed relationship. October-born individuals are guided by Venus, the planet of beauty and love, so they prioritize marriage and romance.
Those born in June tend to overthink relationships and be fickle with commitments, while those born in February are fiercely independent and prefers being alone. Although these two air sign natives can make good partners, October is more naturally inclined toward romance. October rules the seventh house, which is literally the house of marriage and partnerships. They love sharing their life with another person and make sweet, thoughtful spouses.
Fire Sign: AugustFire sign natives are passionate, bold, and energetic. They make fun and exciting partners, but for those born in April and December, the spark of love tends to flicker and burn out quickly. These two fire sign natives also value their freedom and independence, so it takes a lot for them to settle down in relationships. Fire sign August, on the other hand, is total marriage material.
August rules the fifth house, which is the house of romance, children, and fun. This means that those born in August are born for marriage: they adore romance, yearn to have children, and make playful partners and parents. August also rules the heart, upper back, and spine, revealing that those born in August make capable, enduring spouses (thanks to their strong “backbone”) and have big, generous hearts. As a fixed sign, those born in August are stubborn, but they also take commitment seriously. They may be a bit too flirtatious for their own good, but they are devoted and steadfast spouses.
A man who calls himself a “Prophet of Doom” says he has a foreboding feeling about Donald Trump, and he believes something could happen as soon as this month.
The prediction comes from Hamilton-Parker, who describes a dream in which Trump was placed in a locked panic room with JD Vance and other officials crammed inside.
Hamilton-Parker says the dream left him with a “danger to life” feeling he can’t shake. His guess is a wave of Iranian attacks that hits someone close.
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Toni Brattin has hosted live television for 30 years, and one slip turned her into a viral moment. While showing off a hairpiece, she told viewers it “looks like you went and got a blowj*b at your — a blowout at your salon,” then froze before laughing through it.
A QVC on-air slip-up moment that became a viral meme. Credit: @qvc.She tells TMZ she knew instantly there was no taking it back, which is why she stalled for a few seconds hoping producers would switch cameras. Everyone laughed about it once the broadcast ended.
A viral on-air slip-up from QVC host. (via @qvc)QVC reached out the next morning to reassure her, thanking her for staying professional and encouraging her to keep the same composure on live TV.
Brattin didn’t grasp how big it had gotten until a friend told her Jimmy Fallon had aired the clip on his late-night show. Now she’s leaning in, holding up a brunette version of the same wig and offering to gift Fallon one for his birthday if he reaches out.
A viral slip-up moment from QVC. (via @qvc)Thanks for reading. Follow Thought Catalog on Facebook for more stories like this, or explore our website.
AriesThey express that they miss you by talking about how bored they are in the hopes that you’ll invite them to hang out.
TaurusThey express that they miss you by playfully complaining that you don’t hang out with them or care about them enough.
GeminiThey express that they miss you by texting you (or calling you) with a bunch of questions because they’re looking for an excuse to talk to you.
CancerThey express that they miss you by inviting you out with them to do small chores and activities that they would usually do alone.
LeoThey express that they miss you by clearing their schedule so that you have time to hang out if you’re free too.
VirgoThey express that they miss you by watching every single story on your social media and liking every single post.
LibraThey express that they miss you by sending the first text and checking in on you just because.
ScorpioThey express that they miss you by asking friends about you instead of reaching out to you directly.
SagittariusThey express that they miss you by showing up in places where you’re likely to be in the hopes of running into you in person.
CapricornThey express that they miss you by talking about all the movies and concerts they want to see in the hopes that you’ll volunteer to go with them.
AquariusThey express that they miss you by responding to your messages within seconds and never leaving you waiting.
PiscesThey express that they miss you by actually saying the words because they’re not embarrassed to admit it.
Nearly three decades after Tupac Shakur was shot and killed in Las Vegas, the man accused of ordering the killing is finally facing a jury.
Duane “Keffe D” Davis goes on trial today, almost 30 years after the rapper was gunned down.
Tupac Shakur (Photo by Steve Granitz Archive/WireImage)The whole case comes down to a memoir and a 2008 police interview in which Davis described being in the car. He says he was promised he’d never be prosecuted for talking.
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Dim, the Edinburgh dad known to nearly a million TikTok followers as @hellodimeji, took an Allen key to his black Raleigh and removed the front-mounted child seat that carried his 2-year-old son through parks, canals and Forth Bridge views for the better part of the account’s run.
The clip is silent, just ambient garden noise as he unbolts the “Kids Ride Shotgun” seat, detaches the small handlebars his son gripped on every ride, and packs it all into a gray-and-orange case. At the end, the empty bike sits against a fence under the words “it really is the end of an era.”
The removal caps a weeks-long storyline. The toddler had started asking for his own “baby bike” after seeing other kids ride, and in a late-July negotiation video that pulled in millions of views, Dim and his son “settled” on a 3-month delay, snacks doing the persuading since the boy can’t read yet.
Fans who built the account’s warmth around those tandem rides reacted like it was a crisis, with X posts calling it a “level 99 EMERGENCY.” Dim has said he won’t hold his son back from his own bike, and that he still plans to ride alongside him.
A father and toddler enjoy a bike ride together, the child seated up front. Photo by @hellodimeji.Thank you for reading Thought Catalog. You can follow us on Facebook here. Or check out our website.
You may know her as Kate Pearson from This is Us. Now she’s a brand ambassador for a GLP-1.
Chrissy Metz played Kate Pearson on This is Us.Chrissy Metz struggled with her weight her whole life. She tried many diets, but wasn’t able to lose weight. She was skeptical about GLP-1s but is now a brand ambassador for Ro, the same company Serena Williams works with.
She told PEOPLE: “I’m not getting any younger…I’m in perimenopause, and there were obesity issues within my family and with my father, and I felt like I’ve tried so many modalities, whether it was diets or therapy, and none of it really worked for me.”
Chrissy Metz on This is Us.Since starting Ro, Chrissy has been able to lose weight and her blood work has improved. She says the medication made her realize “food noise” is a real thing — and something that’s been an obstacle in her previous weight loss efforts. “It’s so nice not to be obsessing about what I’m going to have every minute, even as I’m still consuming the meal. I just vilified food for so long because I was taught that it was bad, and you shouldn’t eat this or that. And it’s been helping me be more mobile and have less joint pain and inflammation, and run around onstage, and just do things that would have been much more difficult several pounds and inches ago.”
Chrissy Metz for Ro. Credit: Ro.She also knows people are going to be very judgmental about her decision to take a medication for weight loss.
A close-up portrait captures the same woman mid-smile, her blue eyes bright against a warm pastel backdrop, wearing a lilac ribbed top. Credit: Ro.“It doesn’t matter, because like I always say, they’re not in my life. They’re not in my doctor’s notes. They’re not in the hereditary issues my family has. My life is my life, and I have to do what’s best for me, and that includes not listening to the comments and just talking to people who are positive and kind. I can’t engage with something that doesn’t make me feel good.”
Chrissy says in addition to taking Ro, she has also been working with a trainer to lift and build muscle. She says she just wants to feel strong.
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Disney’s 1994 comedy “Blank Check” follows a kid who cashes in on a mix-up and lives large — but revisiting the plot, one detail overshadows the rest.
The FBI agent tailing Preston’s stolen fortune is a grown woman. Preston is 11, and he spends the back half of the movie trying to make her his girlfriend.
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Antonio Banderas survived after doctors put three stents in his arteries. “I knew I was not supposed to be in Malibu, but in Málaga,” he tells PEOPLE. “It was like somebody put glasses on me so I could see the reality that I didn’t see before.”
Emergency surgeons placed three stents in Banderas’s arteries after he was rushed to the hospital from his home in Surrey, England. The chest pains had started there; his girlfriend Nicole Kimpel got aspirin into him before the medics arrived.
Antonio Banderas marches in the “Lágrimas y Favores” brotherhood’s Palm Sunday procession through the streets of Málaga, Spain, on April 13, 2025. Photo by Jorge Guerrero / AFP via Getty Images.Now 66, he credits that scare with rebuilding his life. He quit smoking and left Malibu for Málaga, the Spanish city where he grew up, where he runs a theater and has invested in eight restaurants.
Antonio Banderas, microphone in hand, belts out a number alongside colorfully costumed cast members during a press rehearsal of his musical “Godspell, El Musical” at the Soho Theatre in Málaga, Spain, on Oct. 24, 2025. Photo by Jorge Guerrero / AFP via Getty Images.Antonio Banderas joins Holy Week celebrations in Málaga, stepping out for the María Santísima de Lágrimas y Favores procession at San Juan Bautista church on April 13, 2025. Photo by Daniel Perez / Getty Images.“You always have in your mind that you’re going to die,” he shared, “But then when you have it so close, it’s an unbelievably clear reminder of how stupid you are losing time over things that don’t deserve to be in your life.”
He’s back in that world onscreen too, playing a chef who mentors a young Anthony Bourdain in the new biopic Tony. “The only thing that I am interested in now is in the experience of living,” he explained, “People live like they are not going to die. They collect things. I don’t want to collect anything.”
Joined by daughter Stella Banderas, her husband Alex Gruszynski, and actress Angy Fernandez, Antonio Banderas marks Semana Santa with a family gathering in Málaga on March 31, 2026. Photo by BACKGRID.Thank you for reading Thought Catalog. You can follow us on Facebook here. Or check out our website.
A powerful earthquake has devastated Colombia’s coffee-growing region, killing dozens and trapping people beneath collapsed buildings as rescue crews race to reach survivors. The disaster struck just days into the term of a newly sworn-in president who had never before held elected office.
Residents and emergency personnel dig through the debris of a partially collapsed building after an earthquake, in Pereira, Colombia August 10, 2026. REUTERS/StringerA 7.4 earthquake killed at least 77 people in western Colombia, and workers are still digging bodies out of collapsed buildings.
Residents and emergency personnel dig through the debris of a partially collapsed building after an earthquake, in Pereira, Colombia August 10, 2026. REUTERS/StringerThe quake hit early Monday near Colombia’s Pacific coast, but the coffee-growing region inland took the worst of it. In Risaralda province alone, 42 people are dead.
Residents and emergency personnel dig through the debris of a collapsed building after an earthquake, in Cali, Colombia August 10, 2026. REUTERS/Camilo RodriguezRisaralda province, in Colombia’s coffee-growing region, reported the most deaths at 42, followed by 27 in Valle del Cauca, 4 in Chocó, 3 in Manizales and 1 in Antioquia.
Residents and emergency personnel dig through the debris of a collapsed building after an earthquake in Cali, Colombia, August 10, 2026. REUTERS/Camilo RodriguezThe U.S. Geological Survey put the magnitude at 7.4 and the epicenter near San José del Palmar, in sparsely populated Chocó on the Pacific coast, at a depth of about 107 km. The shaking reached major cities nationwide and was felt across the border in Venezuela.
Rescue workers search through rubble following a devastating 7.4-magnitude earthquake in western Colombia. Photo by REUTERS/Stringer.In Cali, one of Colombia’s largest cities, Mayor Alejandro Eder said more than two dozen structures collapsed with people buried underneath, and rescue teams were requested from Bogotá and Medellín. In Pereira, 18 were killed. A tower of Manizales’ cathedral, the tallest in Colombia, came down into the streets below.
Rescue workers respond to the aftermath of a 7.4-magnitude earthquake in western Colombia. Photo by Camilo Rodriguez / Reuters.The disaster hit days into the term of President Abelardo De La Espriella, a right-wing lawyer and Trump ally sworn in Friday in Cali who had never before held elected office. He said he was suspending his planned activities to run the emergency response from a command post in Bogotá.
Rescue workers search through rubble following a deadly 7.4-magnitude earthquake that struck western Colombia. Photo by REUTERS/Stringer.“To the Colombians who are going through difficult times today, I want to say: you are not alone,” he wrote on X. “You have a president who cares deeply for his people.”
The USGS warned that “significant casualties and damage are likely and the disaster is potentially widespread.” Venezuela was struck by twin earthquakes in June that killed more than 6,000 people.
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After last night’s House of the Dragon finale, Rhaenyra and the Blacks still technically have the upper hand, but morally and politically, they are in terrible shape.
Helaena’s tapestry shows Rhaenyra surrounded by blood, fire, and dead dragons.Because Ormund Hightower used children as human shields during the battle in Tumbleton and because Rhaenyra murdered the High Septon, she comes to be known as “Rhaenyra the Cruel”. The bloody destruction of the Dance of Dragons has already claimed the lives of two of Rhaenyra’s children —Lucerys and Jacaerys—while Alicent has also lost two children, Jaehaerys and Helaena. Rhaenys, Otto, Ormund, and Criston Cole have also died as well as numerous unnamed soldiers and civilians. Season 4 of House of the Dragon will wrap up the storylines still in flux and finish out the Dance.
Here’s where things stand as of the finale:
Aegon reunites with his brother Aemond at Harrenhal.* Aegon is alive and reunited with Sunfyre. * Aemond is alive at Harrenhal with Alys Rivers. * Daeron Targaryen’s fate is unknown after the battle of Tumbleton.
Season 3 ends with Daeron Targaryen’s fate uncertain.* Ulf has gone rogue and drunkenly killed an untold number of men from the Green and Black armies as well as civilians. * Mysaria has been exiled by Rhaenyra but is still dangerous. * The High Septon has been murdered on Rhaenyra’s orders, likely turning the people of King’s Landing against her. * Corlys, Baela, Hugh and other allies are increasingly uneasy with Rhaenyra, who is beginning to resemble the terrifying queen that history will eventually remember as Rhaenyra the Cruel.
Rhaenyra’s transition into “Rhaenyra the Cruel” has begun.Looking ahead to season 4, we know that this will be the final season of House of the Dragon. The Dance of Dragons will conclude and while the show does deviate from the George R. R. Martin books, we have a good idea of what to expect from the final season. Stop reading here if you don’t want any book spoilers for the rest of the House of the Dragon.
Here are events of the Dance of the Dragons that have not been depicted on House of the Dragon yet, and likely will be in season 4:
- There is a second major battle at Tumbleton. Deaths include: Addam Velaryon, Hugh Hammer, Prince Daeron Targaryen, Seasmoke, Vermithor, and Tessarion.
- Daemon and Aemond fight over the God’s Eye, near Harrenhal. In the book, Daemon and Aemond both die during this fight along with Vhagar and Caraxes.
Season 4 of House of the Dragon will likely show Daemon and Aemond in a battle to the death.* Rhaenyra’s unpopularity combined with food shortages, taxes and the devastation of the war cause the people of King’s Landing rise up against Rhaenyra and the dragons. They storm the Dragonpit and kill several dragons. * During the Storming of the Dragonpit, Joffrey attempts to ride Syrax to rescue the trapped dragons. He falls from the dragon and dies. Syrax is subsequently killed by the mob. * Rhaenyra is forced to flee King’s Landing and returns to Dragonstone. * Her guards at Dragonstone turn against her and hand her over to Aegon, who feeds her to his dragon, Sunfyre while her son, Aegon III, watches. In the book, only her lower left leg is left behind. Afterwards, Sunfyre’s health declines and he eventually dies. * Aegon returns to King’s Landing and sits on the Iron Throne but eventually his men turn on him and serve him poisoned wine.
No one wants Aegon as their ruler.* The death of the dragons. Before the war, there are about 20 living dragons (16 were seen in season 1 of House of the Dragon). When the war ends, there are only four dragons left: Silverwing (currently ridden by Ulf the White), Sheepstealer (ridden by Rhaena), Cannibal (a feral dragon), and Morning (a newly hatched dragon). Morning is eventually the last dragon and dies a few decades later. * Rhaenyra’s son with Daemon, Aegon the Younger, ultimately becomes King Aegon III, sitting on the Iron Throne at the end of the war. This comes about as a compromise: Aegon the Younger marries King Aegon II’s only remaining child, Princess Jaehaera, to join the two branches of House Targaryen. * Cregan Stark arrives in King’s Landing. He becomes Hand and conducts a purge/judgment of those responsible for prolonging the war. This is called the Hour of the Wolf.
Alicent is surrounded by butterflies after Helaena dies.* Alicent is imprisoned in her own apartments in the Red Keep for her safety and to prevent further political unrest. She spends her time crying and talking to herself until she eventually dies of Winter Fever during the Hour of the Wolf.
Season 4 of House of the Dragon is set to premiere on HBO in 2028.
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This is a comedic attempt at poking fun at a few signs. For those signs further down the list, I love you and write very positive things about you elsewhere.
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LIBRAIt’s easy to find the party—just follow you. You’re like a bomb-sniffing dog when it comes to parties. But you’re an air sign and thus an airhead and are therefore very easily distracted. The only problem with going out on the town with you is that you disappear easily, and before anyone notices you’re gone, you’ve already been to three new parties.
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SAGITTARIUSCarefree and careless, fun and funny, you are easily bored but never boring. You are always on the move—the last to get to the party and the first to leave, because you have a half-dozen more stops to make before you finally crash. You are drawn to a party like a moth to a flame, which is why it’s probably not a good idea to mention the time your hair caught on fire when you were trying to light a cigarette using a party candle. The punch line is that you don’t even smoke—unless you light yourself on fire!
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ARIESYou are so down for fun, you get insanely jealous if anyone has more fun than you do. You throw caution to the wind—but you hope you didn’t accidentally throw your purse out of the car window in the process, though, because sometimes you get a little careless when you’re having fun. You’re always ready for something new and exciting that you’ve never done before and could never see yourself doing. You don’t even think it’s a dumb idea to drive down to Tijuana for the weekend—which is a stretch, seeing as how you live next to the Canadian border.
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GEMINIOh, look at you, Miss Life of the Party, Miss Center of Attention.You hate when things get slow. You are always up for new experiences, no matter the collateral damage. There was the time you flew to Paris just for a slice of cheesecake. And the time you dove naked off the high board into the pool on the cruise ship. And then there were all the things you did that were too wild to discuss in polite company.
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LEOEven if you’re not having fun, it’s important to you that people think you are. You aim to please and want to be at every party—first to get there and last to leave. OK, maybe not the first to get there, because that winds up looking lonely and desperate. Flaming body shots of tequila? Why not? OK, you didn’t bargain for the third-degree burns across your torso, so maybe you should dial down the fun just a tad.
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SCORPIOBeing the queen of sarcasm whose stinger is located in her tongue, your fun comes almost exclusively at the expense of others. You say what everyone is thinking but is terrified to say. So to onlookers, you’re fun; to the person you’re insulting, you’re NOT so fun. Your fun comes at the expense of others. In private, though, you are one miserable little girl.
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AQUARIUSYou carry water, but you have a little trouble carrying your liquor. For you, fun is all about the night. The magic of the night. The buzz of the lights. You squeeze every drop of life out of the night. For you, the night is young until daylight. You are extremely fun—until you’re hung over. Then it’s a totally different story.
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PISCESIt’s always more fun inside your head than in the outside world. Depending on your mood, which changes every five minutes, you’re either up for a party or are dying to be alone. You can sometimes be the life of the party—provided there are never more than five people at the party. Any more people than that, and you want to hide.
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TAURUSYou’re so cautious, sometimes it’s a miracle you can muster up the courage to breathe. You want to eat out, but you can’t decide where. Maybe you should order delivery? You might even go out tonight if you weren’t afraid of getting in a car crash. You’re feeling a little sick, anyway, so it’s best to stay in and sleep it off. It’s probably an allergy, but what if it’s a cold? And if you went to the party, what if someone slipped something in your drink?
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CANCERWhat a poor little shy wallflower you are—very reserved, very proper, very polite…some would even say very uptight. You don’t like traveling to new places or encountering new ideas or sampling new food. You hate drama, so you miss out on a lot of fun as a result, because drama is the flip side of fun. Even if you were having the time of your life, no one would know, because you hide your emotions so well.
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VIRGOThere are nuns who’ve taken a lifelong vow of silence who are more exciting than you are. You’re afraid of your own shadow—which is pointless, because even your shadow thinks you’re boring and avoids you whenever it can. You take no risks. You’re traditional, conservative, conventional…and as dull as a butter knife. When it comes to having fun, you’re pretty much a virgin.
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CAPRICORNEven under life or death pressure, you’d be unable to dance or tell a joke on command. You are more afraid of what can go wrong than you are excited about what could go right. Practical and prudent, you can be so boring that you make paint peel.
Tallulah Willis married musician Justin Acee on Saturday, August 8, in Sun Valley, Idaho, the resort town where Bruce Willis and Demi Moore moved the family to raise their daughters away from paparazzi.
At the Directors Guild of America theatre in Los Angeles, Tallulah Willis and Justin Acee share an embrace during the September 16, 2024 red-carpet premiere of “The Substance.” Photo by Etienne Laurent / AFP via Getty Images.The couple shared a kiss at the “The Substance” premiere in Los Angeles, with the MUBI step-and-repeat backdrop behind them, September 16, 2024. Photo by Etienne Laurent / AFP via Getty Images.She wore a custom Balenciaga couture gown by creative director Pierpaolo Piccioli, one of his first bridal designs for the house. The strapless silk satin dress took 712 hours to make, with organza petals beaded and hand-applied one by one.
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By her early teens she was fielding relentless tabloid commentary about her chin and her resemblance to her father, cruelty she later linked to years of body dysmorphia, an eating disorder, and self-hatred that started around age 13. In 2025 she began reclaiming those same features, calling them “the most precious gift.”
At the Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles, July 14, 2018, Bruce Willis arrived in a tuxedo for the red carpet of Comedy Central’s Roast in his honor. Photo by Rich Fury / Getty Images.At the Taglyan Complex in Los Angeles, Tallulah Willis and Justin Acee pose together during the Autism Speaks Los Angeles Gala on October 24, 2024. Photo by Amanda Edwards / Getty Images.Willis and Acee turned out for a special screening of Paramount+’s “The Carters: Hurts to Love You” at AMC The Grove 14 in Los Angeles on April 9, 2025. Photo by Jon Kopaloff / Getty Images.Acee, who performs as NIGHTIES and once drummed for the indie band Made Violent, proposed in December 2024. Earlier this month the couple obtained a marriage license in Blaine County, the Hailey area where the family kept their ranch.
At The West Hollywood EDITION on February 24, 2026, Tallulah Willis and Justin Acee were on hand for Architectural Digest’s “AD Celebrates Design Making A Difference” event. Photo by Phillip Faraone / Getty Images.Bruce Willis, diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia, has stepped back from public life as his condition progresses. He doesn’t appear in photos from the rehearsal dinner at Fiamma the night before the wedding, which pictured Tallulah, Acee, Rumer, and Rumer’s daughter Louetta, and the family hasn’t confirmed whether he was there for the ceremony.
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Greenland moved to end its future as an oil frontier in 2021, halting all new exploration licenses. But a company tied to Donald Trump’s orbit is pressing ahead on three permits that predate the ban.
The Trump-connected oil firm has already shipped camp gear into a protected Arctic wetland, and Greenland regulators say it never had permission to do so.
The company is aiming to spud its first well in October, in a bird sanctuary that is supposed to be off-limits.
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Curtis posted the passage under a throw-back picture of Trump, with no added framing: ignore the rules, don’t put anything in writing, don’t keep a calendar, rat out other people if you’re cornered, stall until a grand jury’s clock runs out, and feed the press a fantastic story.
The words come from a New Yorker profile published earlier this month, in which journalist David Cay Johnston recounts the tactics Roy Cohn taught Trump in the 1970s and 80s. Commenters on the post made the connection immediately, tagging it “Roy Cohn 101” and citing The Apprentice, the 2024 biopic about Trump’s early relationship with Cohn.
Regal Union Square in New York hosted the March 3, 2026 premiere of Prime Video’s “Scarpetta,” where Jamie Lee Curtis was in attendance. Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images.At Prime Video’s Scarpetta Bibliotheque Event in New York City, Jamie Lee Curtis makes an appearance on March 2, 2026. Photo by Slaven Vlasic / Getty Images.Curtis has been openly critical of Trump since 2016, when she condemned his resurfaced Howard Stern comments about her Freaky Friday co-star Lindsay Lohan. She called his 2024 win a signal of “a sure return to a more restrictive, some fear draconian time,” deactivated her X account after Elon Musk joined the incoming administration, and joined “No Kings” protests in 2025. At a Project Angel Food event earlier this year, she called the administration’s ICE enforcement “inhuman” and an “abhorrence,” and urged the crowd to “defy these motherf***ers.”
Jamie Lee Curtis at a Prime Video event in New York City on March 2, 2026. Photo by Slaven Vlasic / Getty Images.Thank you for reading Thought Catalog. Keep up with us on Facebook, or dive into more on our website.
Has it taken a new movie to return Krypto to his rightful place in the Superman pantheon?
When the first trailer for James Gunn’s new Superman movie was released last December, the live-action Krypto was an immediate star. The appearance of Gunn and his dog Ozu on Puppy Bowl XXI boosted the buzz around Krypto’s appearance. Now, with the film’s July 11 release just around the corner, Superman merchandise is soaring into stores, and although the Man of Steel remains the centerpiece, the Dog of Steel isn’t far behind. There’s never been so much Krypto merch available all at once, and the retail community is banking on the superdog becoming a superstar.
Krypto has been given short shrift in comics for decades. He originally showed up in Adventure Comics #210 (March 1955), where writer Otto Binder and artist Curt Swan brought the white canine to life as Superboy’s pet. The backstory was that Kal-El’s father Jor-El, while planning to rocket his son to Earth before their home planet of Krypton was destroyed, had sent Kal-El’s puppy first, in a test rocket. Kal-El wound up on Earth first, because meteors had knocked Krypto’s rocket off course. Once they were reunited, the boy and his dog were virtually inseparable.
But in comics continuity, once Clark Kent reached adulthood and moved to Metropolis to be Superman, Krypto was pretty much forgotten except for rare guest appearances. Of course, DC’s multiple continuity revamps complicate the story even more.
On screens large and small, Krypto’s history is similarly mixed. He briefly had his own TV series, Krypto the Superdog, on Cartoon Network and The CW, where he interacted with other DC pets, including Ace the Bat-Hound and Streaky the Super Cat. But he hasn’t been a movie star.
Until now, that is.
Krypto on the Store ShelvesNone of this off-and-on exposure resulted in a flood of Krypto merch. With Krypto’s appearance in the movie—and the heat from all the pre-release promotion—that’s changing. DC Comics is publishing a five-issue comic book miniseries called Krypto: The Last Dog of Krypton.
Box Lunch and Kidrobot are both offering plush Kryptos (sleeping Krypto for Box Lunch, wide awake for Kidrobot). Spin Master has a remote-control flying Krypto. When he’s standing still the three propellers attached to a pole that sticks out of the superdog’s back looks a little strange, but he almost comes alive when he’s airborne. Fans can print a 3D Krypto—at life-size or custom sizes—with a model from Do3D. Even Funko gets into the Krypto action with an adorable, round-eyed Krypto Pop.
Of course, there are licensed books and T-shirts galore, as well as multiple books and mugs. Your own superdog can get into the action with bandannas and costumes, dog toys, a pet-treat canister and a feeding bowl. If tie-in merchandise is any indication (and when has it not been?), it’s safe to say that Krypto is this summer’s breakout dog star.
Superman, based on the DC Comics character, written and directed by James Gunn and starring David Corenswet as Clark Kent/Superman, will be released on July 11, 2025.
Television, specifically the world of streaming, finds itself with two First World problems: there’s too much to watch and a lot of it is very good.
Viewers feel overwhelmed looking at the main screen of these streaming services, with everything clamoring for attention. You’re almost too scared to start something new, because you know something else is coming next week and you’re afraid you might not get to everything and leave your ever-growing watchlist unwatched. It’s a weird catch-22.
Sometimes, though, you don’t want complex or intense shows. Not everything needs to be Twin Peaks or Chernobyl, because after a long day at work, it’s okay to just want something entertaining to take your mind off life’s many (many) problems. The good news is there’s a show out there just like that, but the bad news is not enough people are talking about it, reducing the chances of a second season. So, if you value simple television, give Max’s Duster a chance.
What is ‘Duster’ about?Set in the Southwest in 1972, Duster centers around the story of Jim Ellis (Josh Holloway), who works as a getaway driver for notorious crime lord Ezra Saxton (Keith David). Jim doesn’t drive around in a bashed-up VW Beetle, though; he’s got style and swagger, so he cruises around in a cherry red Plymouth Duster.
Rachel Hilson and Josh Holloway in DusterWhile Jim and Ezra have a good relationship, this all changes after Jim finds out that Ezra may have had something to do with the death of his brother. So, Jim turns informant, helping the FBI’s first Black female agent, Nina Hayes (Rachel Hilson), to get enough dirt on Ezra to put him away. However, not everyone backs Nina and Jim in this quest for justice.
Why this ’70s-themed crime thriller is worth your time Heavily stylized, Duster doesn’t only look like it’s set in the ’70s, but it also feels like it, sharing more in common with shows like Kojak and Columbo than modern-day crime thrillers. Holloway’s Jim walks with purpose and confidence, flicking his long hair and becoming an instantly likable protagonist because of his unabashed cool factor. In fact, one has to wonder how much bigger of a star Holloway would have been in this era, since it’s as if he belongs to the decade. Holloway also plays off Hilson’s Nina well, as Nina fights to be taken seriously in a time in which racism and patriarchy ran rampant like they were competing in the Olympic Games of Scumbaggery. Nina, though, gets creative in maneuvering around her obstacles, as she demonstrates how her smarts will get her to where she wants to be in the end.
Ursula CoyoteWhile the characters add the fuel to Duster, the story is the engine that makes it such a palatable series. There’s no reinvention of the wheel or desire to appeal to those who scrutinize every frame of every scene. Instead, the show values entertainment over pretentious intellect. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s all fun and dumb, but rather that it knows the audience wants guns, fast cars, and a good time more than anything else. Duster leans into it, creating a simple but effective television series that’s easy to enjoy and revisit.
It’s J.J. Abrams’ first big project since ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’There was a time in Hollywood when J.J. Abrams walked on water. Not only was he the man who rebooted Star Trek on the big screen successfully, but he also managed to breathe life into the new Star Wars trilogy with The Force Awakens. Abrams wasn’t meant to return for The Rise of Skywalker, but after Rian Johnson’s divisive Last Jedi and Colin Trevorrow departing the third picture, Abrams came back to steady the ship for the finale. It’s clear now that The Rise of Skywalker was a struggle and unlikely what Abrams envisioned, as he had to course correct and appease everyone from fans to the studio. In the end, the film wasn’t memorable nor a good sendoff; it just exists.
After the Star Wars misadventure, Abrams retreated mostly into producing work; however, Duster marks his return to a showrunner role, as he co-created the series with LaToya Morgan. According to Morgan, Abrams had an image for the show in his head for 20 years, but he struggled to unlock what the story was actually about. So, they worked together to flesh out what would become Duster. The best part? They only had one person in mind for the lead role – someone whom Abrams had been familiar with from his time as the co-creator of Lost.
“We wrote the show from the beginning with Josh [Holloway] in mind,” Morgan told Inverse. There was no other person. It was always Josh.”
Holloway also didn’t need much convincing to accept the part, since he had been looking for a good lead role since Colony completed its run. “He was very excited to be in the show where he’s going to get to drive fast, he’s going to get to shoot guns, he’s going to get to also be vulnerable with his family,” Morgan said. “He gets to run the gamut and do a lot of things that people have been wanting to see him do.”
It’s as if all the stars aligned here, right? Well, it’s all up to the viewers now. Sure, there’s a lot of quality shows begging for attention, but there’s also breezy programming like Duster that have their place in homes. The danger, though, is that a series like this might just race past everyone, becoming nothing more than a tumbleweed in the dust and a forgotten relic of what could have been.
I think it’s safe to say that the majority of y’all reading this are not A-list Hollywood stars. And that’s OK! I’m not judging. In fact, I’m not either. But you must know that there’s a social divide between us and A-listers. Realistically, we may never attain their status, fame, or wealth in our lifetimes. The upside of that is that we’ll probably never confuse ourselves with the Messiah. I’m referring, of course, to male actors.
I remember when I first realized that popular media had conditioned me to think of only female actors as “divas.” The epiphany occurred when I was reading about George Clooney’s demands during the shooting of 2013’s Gravity, in which he played a supporting character. Whereas most actors might have just asked for memory foam pillows, Clooney demanded that the film’s production designers build him an entire garden, basketball court, and beach house. Basically, he hated driving to work so much that he built his neighborhood next to his office.
In Clooney’s case, his movie succeeded in spite of his ego, but the same can’t be said for the other divas on this list. Here are six movies that failed because of their male stars’ massive egos.
Blade: Trinity (2004)New Line CinemaRent On AmazonBefore spending 28 months in federal prison for failing to file his income taxes, Wesley Snipes was just your average universally hated movie star. During the filming of Blade: Trinity, he refused to speak with his fellow actors out of character and even locked himself in his trailer for the duration of shooting, only agreeing to emerge for contractually obligated close-ups. Now, I respect any actor’s decision to go Method, but this was a superhero movie about a mythical vampire hunter, not The Theory of Everything. Moreover, Snipes became so dismissive of his director and castmates that he spitefully refused to open his eyes in one scene, forcing a special effects team to give him uncanny valley CGI eyes. By the end of the shoot, Snipes had stopped talking to people altogether and would only communicate via Post-it notes, as if the set of Blade: Trinity had become the Quiet Place. Anyway, Snipes’ self-centered behavior had a measurable effect on cast morale and caused his film to become the worst in the entire Blade series.
Miami Vice (2006)Universal PicturesWatch On StarzAfter winning an Oscar in 2005, Jamie Foxx woke up one day to discover that his humility had left his body. In addition to demanding his own private jet during the filming of Miami Vice, Foxx suddenly declared that he was afraid of boats and refused to film any scenes with them … on the set of Miami Vice. The entire concept of the show and, by extension, the movie, is predicated on the very existence and non-frightening nature of boats. Ultimately, Foxx’s behavior caused enough headaches on set to affect production and contribute to the movie’s underperformance at the box office.
The Mummy (2017)Universal PicturesWatch On HuluI know there’s a lot of goodwill towards Tom Cruise right now because he pulled a Lady Gaga and dove from the top of the Paris Olympics Closing Ceremony, but come on. He’s not perfect! When he was filming The Mummy, he wanted so badly to position himself as the center of the Universal Monsters franchise (hmm, I’m sensing a pattern) that he started butting heads with nearly everyone on set. In the process, he forgot to make an actual movie, and The Mummy became a three-minute-long action scene preceded by two hours of Tom Cruise talking about sand.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)New Line CinemaWatch On TubiIt’s an unfortunate fact of life that people must work to earn money. That said, Top Gun star Val Kilmer hates working so much that he had the entire script of The Island of Dr. Moreau changed so that he would have a chiller work week. However, this decision caused one person to lose their job and Marlon Brando to lose his mind. This movie, which is better off decomposing in whatever forgotten basement contains the unreleased footage of Batgirl, is best known for a scene in which Brando wears a salad bowl for a hat.
Terminator Salvation (2009)Warner Bros.Watch On HuluThis movie is most famous for being the site of Christian Bale’s cruel and unhinged outburst at an on-set cinematographer for walking in front of him. The nerve!! An audio recording of the meltdown went viral at the time. But Bale’s temper wasn’t what tanked the movie; it was his ego. Determined to recenter his character – and, perhaps, himself – as humankind’s Messiah, Bale demanded numerous script changes throughout production. He was accused by many coworkers of single handedly ruining the entire movie with his overly serious attitude. Did he think that this movie about salty robots was going to cure cancer?
Black Adam (2022)Warner Bros.Watch On HuluDwayne the Rock Johnson’s massive ego is legendary at this point. By the end of the Fast and the Furious franchise, he actually had a contract stating that he wasn’t allowed to lose any fights on screen. Imagine being so sensitive to other people’s judgment that you can’t even pretend to fail. That said, the Rock’s ego caused even more problems when it came to his DC superhero film Black Adam. In an attempt to make his character the star of the DC universe, the Rock employed shady tactics to cause other DC movies like Shazam! Fury of the Gods to tank. This had the unforeseen effect of sullying his character’s comic book origins, thus alienating his potential fans and affecting Black Adam’s storytelling. Said one grumpy Black Adam insider: “[The Rock] is one of the few people who always thinks he’s the most important person in any situation or room.” But not important enough: In addition to being critically reviled, Black Adam didn’t make enough profit to earn a sequel.
If Mindy Kaling made Ted Lasso, you’d get Running Point — and it’s the Netflix binge you didn’t know you needed.
Running Point follows Isla Gordon, a former wild child who suddenly finds herself in charge of the Los Angeles Waves, her family’s professional basketball team, right after her brother lands in rehab. Constantly underestimated by the men around her (including her late father), Isla’s determined to prove she belongs in the ruthless world of sports leadership.
But don’t worry, this isn’t some intense sports drama with endless locker room speeches. Like Ted Lasso, the heart of the show lies in its characters and their messy, relatable lives.
Cast wise, they understood the assignment. Kate Hudson (our rom-com queen), Brenda Song (Disney Channel royalty), Max Greenfield (forever Schmidt in my heart), and Justin Theroux all in one series? Say less. The lineup alone is a solid enough reason to tune in.
And if you’re a sucker for a love triangle (guilty), Running Point delivers just enough romance to keep things spicy without derailing the plot. It’s a sweet spot of comfort, empowerment, and relatable chaos as Isla stumbles her way through figuring out her life, her career, and who’s actually worth her time.
If you’re craving something light, funny, and feel-good after a long day, Running Point is 100% worth a shot.
Stream Running Point on Netflix
Hard as it is to believe, the summer season is officially upon us, bringing with it moonlit barbeques under the stars, crackling fireworks on the Fourth of July, and carefree vacations to almost every corner of the globe imaginable.
With the new season almost here, it might also be a great time to revisit some movies that truly capture the essence of summer, from early blockbuster thrillers like Jaws and E.T. to rip-roaring teen comedies like American Graffiti and Dazed and Confused.
Jaws (1975)Universal PicturesLike its equally influential ‘70s counterpart Star Wars, it’s hard to imagine what the current status of American film might look like without Jaws’ larger success. The very first summer blockbuster, it also launched wunderkind director Steven Spielberg to new heights in the film industry – not to mention traumatizing generations of viewers too scared to dip a toe in the ocean for fear of a 25-foot great white shark suddenly dragging them into the deep.
Do the Right Thing (1989)Universal PicturesLike all great directors, Spike Lee has no shortage of extraordinary movies under his belt, from sweeping biopics like Malcolm X to more recent successes like BlacKkKlansman. To this day, however, it’s difficult to think of a more powerful Spike Lee joint than 1989’s Do the Right Thing. An incendiary study of race, justice, and the sometimes perilous challenge that comes with simply co-existing with our neighbors, it’s assuredly among the finest films of the 1980s, remaining as timely today as it did in the summer of ‘89.
The Seven Year Itch (1955)20th Century FoxCertain images continue to stand the test of time within the larger annals of American cinema, from Julie Andrews spinning around the hills of Austria to King Kong climbing to the top of the Empire State Building. With The Seven Year Itch, such an image can be found in the form of Marilyn Monroe standing over a city subway grate as a train passes below. Arguably the most famous film to feature Monroe in a leading role, it’s also a timeless classic of 1950s cinema, delighting audiences with its cheery humor, relatable topics, and the sensational performances of its lead cast.
National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)Warner Bros.Planning a vacation might be stressful – but it’s nowhere near as bad as trekking halfway across the country and experiencing numerous freak accidents along the way. Among the most famed films to bear the National Lampoon name, Vacation is a nostalgic trip back to a time when the family loaded up in the station wagon for a fun-filled journey on the road, complete with unpleasant in-laws, ornery locals, and enough nonsensical dad jokes to keep viewers laughing throughout.
American Graffiti (1973)Universal PicturesBefore he was redefining science fiction with Star Wars, George Lucas made a name for himself with the bittersweet 1973 teen comedy, American Graffiti. Set during the early years of 1960s California, American Graffiti taps into the bygone days of Lucas’ own youth, cobbling together a plot consisting of souped-up hot rods, vintage rock songs, and aimless teenagers searching for love and meaning on the last day of summer vacation.
Dazed and Confused (1993)Gramercy PicturesIn many ways, one can almost describe Dazed and Confused as the ideal companion piece to American Graffiti. Taking a page from the latter’s playbook, Dazed and Confused finds a group of fun-loving teens enjoying the first night of summer vacation in 1970s Texas. A cult favorite film whose legacy only grows more favorable with each passing year, it’s required viewing for every one navigating the first days of summer vacation, transporting viewers back to their own cherished memories from high school.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)Walt DisneyFor millions of travelers across the globe, summer means the chance to sit beneath a swaying palm tree, all the while sipping ice-cold cocktails and splashing around in the crystal-clear waters of the Caribbean. With that being said, what better film is there to watch prior to a tropical vacation than 2003’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. The first and (for our money) best entry in the POTC series, The Curse of the Black Pearl is a swashbuckling nautical adventure unlike any other, filled with rousing action, impeccable performances, and a perfect blend between comedy, horror, romance, and fantasy.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)Universal PicturesThe fact that E.T. is the movie Steven Spielberg wishes to be remembered for should tell audiences all they need to know about this 1982 sci-fi film. Recontextualizing the alien invader story for the modern age, E.T. ingeniously captures the childhood sense of imagination inherently tied to its plot, influencing countless movies and TV shows that followed in its wake. A formidable entry in Spielberg’s filmography, it’s almost the most iconic films of the late 20th century, rivaling other notable classics like Jaws, Star Wars, or Spielberg’s own work on Raiders of the Lost Ark.
We all love the ’80s throwbacks in Stranger Things, but the show actually taps into something deeper: the way kids used to just be kids.
Netflix’s Stranger Things struck a nerve that goes deeper than monster scares or retro fashion. Sure, the show wallows in 1980s nostalgia, but what really hooks viewers is something else entirely: its vision of a childhood that’s basically extinct. These Hawkins kids live in a world where adventure happens without adult supervision, where real danger exists, and where friendship means showing up physically, not just digitally. The monsters are window dressing. What the show actually captures — and what audiences desperately miss — is the experience of growing up when kids could vanish for hours without causing panic, when problems required actual ingenuity to solve, and when boredom led to discovery rather than screen time. Stranger Things works because it taps into mourning for something most people never realized they’d lost.
It Shows Kids With Actual Territory to ExploreHawkins, Indiana, functions like a time capsule of childhood geography. Kids hop on bikes and disappear into the woods for entire afternoons. They establish hideouts in abandoned places. Parents expect them home “when the streetlights come on” — not when GPS trackers start pinging. This wasn’t some magical 1980s phenomenon. For decades, maybe centuries, childhood meant having actual territory to explore without constant oversight.
NetflixFast-forward to now. Modern kids live under surveillance that would make Cold War spies nervous. Every movement gets monitored. Every destination requires approval. Playgrounds have been litigation-proofed into boring safety. The same woods that Mike and Dustin treat as their personal adventure zone would send today’s parents into helicopter mode. When Will disappears, it takes a full day before serious panic sets in. Try that with a contemporary parent whose kid doesn’t answer a text within an hour.
The show’s most powerful shots aren’t the monster reveals — they’re kids pedaling into darkness, climbing through storm drains, setting up walkie-talkies in basements that adults never visit. These spaces feel archaeological now, remnants of when childhood had physical boundaries instead of digital ones.
Problems Used to Require Real Solutions Instead of Google SearchesWatch the Hawkins kids tackle a crisis. No smartphones to Google “how to fight interdimensional monsters.” No adults on speed-dial. No safety net beyond their own resourcefulness. When Dustin finds that weird slug-thing, he has to figure out what it is through observation and library research. When they need to contact the Upside Down, they build their own sensory deprivation setup using a kiddie pool and salt. Old-school trial and error.
NetflixContemporary childhood operates differently. Every question has instant answers. Every problem comes with tutorial videos. Every scary situation can be livestreamed for immediate adult intervention. Kids today rarely experience that raw problem-solving where failure has real consequences and success requires genuine creativity.
The difference shows up in how victories feel earned. When the Stranger Things kids succeed, they’ve genuinely figured something out through experimentation and courage. Their mistakes matter because there’s no digital undo button, no parental monitoring app swooping in to fix things. They live with consequences in ways that feel foreign to a generation raised on video game respawns and helicopter parenting.
Friendship Meant Actually Showing UpThe intense bond between Mike, Dustin, Lucas, and Will comes from physical presence and shared experience. They spend hours together in basements, on bike rides, during D&D campaigns — interactions requiring full attention and actual presence. When they fight, they have to work it out face-to-face. When they make up, it happens in person, not through carefully crafted texts.
Today’s kids maintain constant digital contact but often struggle with sustained, focused attention on each other. Friendship becomes a series of notifications, likes, and group chats rather than shared adventures. Every moment gets potentially documented, shared, or interrupted by other digital demands. The presence required to make deep connections is harder to come by when everyone’s time is mediated by screens.
The boys risk everything to save Will. Their devotion carries extra weight because friendship demanded everything from them — time, attention, physical presence, and actual courage. They can’t just change their relationship status or block someone they’re fighting with. Working through conflict requires the messy, complicated work of showing up and dealing with each other as whole human beings.
Boredom Led to Discovery Instead of Screen TimeThe adventures in Stranger Things begin with something nearly extinct: productive boredom. The kids don’t have scheduled activities or entertainment algorithms feeding them content. Their discoveries happen because they have mental space for curiosity and temporal freedom to pursue weird hunches. Finding Eleven, investigating the lab, stumbling into the Upside Down — all emerge from restless energy seeking outlets.
Modern childhood operates on packed schedules. Between structured activities, screen entertainment, and academic pressure, kids rarely experience open-ended time that allows genuine discovery. Boredom gets treated as a problem requiring immediate solutions rather than a creative state worth inhabiting. The result is childhood without the psychological space necessary for real curiosity about the surrounding world.
The show captures what gets lost in over-structured living: understanding that emptiness creates possibility. The basement D&D sessions, aimless bike rides, and willingness to investigate strange sounds all emerge from having time to kill and imagination to guide exploration. When every moment gets pre-planned or digitally filled, opportunities for adventure disappear.
Actions Had Weight, and Consequences Couldn’t Be UndoneMost fundamentally, Stranger Things mourns childhood as a space where decisions carried genuine weight and mistakes couldn’t be easily erased. The kids face real danger, make irreversible choices, and live with permanent changes to their world and themselves. This isn’t romanticizing trauma — it’s recognizing that growth requires authentic stakes.
The current digital landscape offers unprecedented safety but also unprecedented removal from meaningful consequences. Virtual worlds provide risk simulation without real stakes. Physical safety measures eliminate most opportunities for kids to test themselves against genuine challenges. The result: many people reach adulthood having never navigated truly high-stakes situations independently.
The show’s vision of childhood is transformative, not just preparatory. These kids don’t just get older — they become fundamentally different people through experiences that demand courage, presence, and the willingness to face uncertainty with nothing but friendship as backup. It offers both an elegy for what’s been lost and a reminder of what made growing up feel consequential: the understanding that childhood should be more than just killing time until real life begins.
Period drama girlies love a good Keira Knightly movie marathon, but when it’s time to really lose ourselves in another era, we turn to television for it’s ability to cover more ground across a series of episodes, or simply allow us to stay longer in a historic or aesthetic fictional world. If you’re the type who’d readily swap their blue jeans for a petty coat, these shows are for you.
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Downton AbbeyITVWatch On AmazonJulian Fellowes’ epic drama was the Upstairs, Downstairs for an entirely new generation, and became a global phenomenon for PBS. It immediately captured our attention with characters both loveable and ruthless, like Lady Mary Crawley, who lived up to all of our literary baddie fantasies alongside Becky Sharp and Scarlett O’Hara. Dame Maggie Smith brought epic snark to her role as the Dowager Countess Grantham, flawlessly delivering unforgettable one-liners like, “What is a weekend?” And Thomas Barrow, our favorite queer footman-turned-valet-turned-under-butler, could out-plot the worst villains on Game of Thrones any day. While we do wonder how they’d all fair in the present with modern technology (and access to therapy), we can’t help revisiting them and all six seasons of Downton time and time again.
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VictoriaPBSWatch On PBSWatch On AmazonIf you loved the drama and history of The Crown, but hated 20th century fashion, this series is for you. Jenna Coleman plays a young Queen Victoria beginning with her coronation at the age of 18, into her epically romantic marriage to Prince Albert and beyond. There is plenty of historical and familial drama to spare, from Victoria’s relationship with advisor Lord Melbourne, to the arrival of her half-sister Feodora, but the fan favorite storyline is Albert’s older brother, Prince Ernest’s battle with syphilis amidst his passionate affair with one of Victoria’s ladies in waiting.
The third season was cancelled after a two-year hiatus in the midst of COVID-19, with the ITV team releasing a cryptic statement that “there are no plans presently to film Victoria, but that’s not to say we won’t revisit the series with the production team at a later date.” Maybe they’re leaving things open to recast and time hop like The Crown, or maybe stopping short was as blessing in disguise since showrunners couldn’t stave off Albert’s death from typhoid fever forever.
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The Lady’s CompanionNetflixWatch On NetflixSpain’s version of Bridgerton, felt like a light-hearted, pastel-toned Mary Poppins meets Jane Austin. Nadia de Santiago plays Elena Bianda, a professional lady’s chaperone with a mysterious past of her own. She uses her guiles and charm to secure the coveted position in the home of a widow with three daughters, but soon realizes she has her hands full when one of her charges, Cristina, becomes pregnant out of wedlock. Life gets even more complicated when she starts falling for her employer’s god-son, Santiago, who also just happens to be the ideal suitor for Cristina to marry before her reputation is ruined for good. It’s a fun, quirky, quitch watch that breaks the fourth-wall with an Amelie-style narrator.
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OutlanderStarzWatch On NetflixAdapted from Diana Gabaldon’s 30-years-in-the-making book series, Outlander has been bringing time-travel and period drama to our televisions for over a decade. Following the tumultuous romance between British WWII nurse, Claire Randall, and Scottish Jacobite rebel, Jamie Fraser, after the former accidentally travels two centuries back in time by touching a magic stone, the series made waves for it’s steamy scenes, as well as it’s portrayal of male victims of sexual assault.
Drama comes in from every angle as historical tensions rise while Claire struggles to navigate being married to two very different men living in very different times, and this is one instance where the costumes are just as gorgeous as the acting.
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The Law According To Lidia PoëtNetflixWatch On NetflixAn amazing reimagining of Italy’s first female lawyer as a Holmes-esque sleuth, Lidia Poët is the feminist period drama heroine you’ve been waiting for. Using her brother’s practice as a shield to continue her work in secret, and torn between romantic relationships with three different men, Lidia’s never-give-up spirit, quick wit, and empathetic heart inject each episode with emotional depth and high-suspense stakes. Matilda De Angelis gives an amazing performance as a woman who yearns for a more modern and egalitarian future, just as we long for and romanticize her past. With a third season on the way, this is one series we can’t recommend enough.
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BridgertonNetflixWatch On NetflixShonda Rhimes can do no wrong, and her inclusive adaptation of Julia Quinn’s romance series is just, chef’s kiss. Following the eight Bridgerton siblings as they navigate the 19th century marriage market in a not-so-historically accurate Regency London, we get the perfect blend of old meets new with gorgeous costumes, string-quartet remixes of our favorite modern songs, and occasionally humorous examinations of romantic intimacy. Each season focuses on a different set of couples and continues throughlines such as the Bridgerton’s relationship with the Queen, neighboring Featherington family, and Gossip Girl-esque anonymous columnist ‘Lady Whistledown’.
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The Time In BetweenAntena 3Watch On VixAdapted from María Dueñas’ eponymous novel, this series follows dressmaker Sira Quiroga as she abandons her comfortable life in Madrid to follow a man she barely knows to Morocco. When he abandons her, pregnant and penniless in a foreign land, and unable to return to her native Spain because of Civil War and legal troubles, she must pick up the pieces of her life and learn to survive. As sewing is the only marketable skill she has, Sira opens a workshop, and finds herself enmeshed in the foreign politics of World War II, where British, American, and German players draw her deeper and deeper into their web of espionage and intrigue. It’s a powerful tale of reclaiming autonomy and self-confidence that will stick with you long after the final credits have rolled.
A show’s soundtrack is as vital to its story as the plot, dialogue, and other elements because music helps set the mood, enhance the storyline, and bridge more of an emotional connection between the audience and the show’s characters.
Here are seven shows with the best soundtracks.
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ScrubsFirst up, Scrubs. Because obviously. Scrubs follows the lives of the quirky, ambitious, and dedicated staff of Sacred Heart Hospital. Narrated by Dr. J.D. (John) Dorian, played by Zach Braff, Scrubs has some of the best music to complement the show including The Fray, U2, Cheap Trick, The Shins, Poison, Howie Day, Nelly, and more. The soundtrack of Scrubs really did add to the show’s story.
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BridgertonBridgerton, a Netflix Original Series that just released its third season, has an impeccable soundtrack with classical covers of current pop songs including “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift, “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, and “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5. In fact, Bridgerton’s music is so amazing that some of the songs were even nominated for various awards, including an MTV Movie Award for Best Musical Moment for Anthony and Kate’s dance to the Midnight String Quartet’s cover of “Wrecking Ball.”
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Gossip GirlGossip Girl is iconic for more than epic fashion; it also has one of the best soundtracks ever. Each season of the hit teen drama series had tons of hits including M83, Vanessa Carlton, Santigold, Sum 41, Florence + The Machine, Young Folks, and more.
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EuphoriaThe HBO breakout series Euphoria has one of the best original scores ever, all thanks to the work of British musician Labrinth. While Euphoria does have other songs throughout the show, it is the original music by Labrinth that makes this teen drama stand out.
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My So-Called LifeWhile we only got one season of My So-Called Life starring Clare Danes, Jared Leto, and Wilson Cruz, the 1994 teen drama has a truly incredible soundtrack including the likes of The Cranberries, Live, Sonic Youth, Violent Femmes, R.E.M., and other essential music that defined the angst that was the 1990s.
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Mad MenMad Men is a drama about one of the top advertising agencies at the beginning of the 1960s. Focused on the story of Don Draper (Jon Hamm), one of the firm’s top executives, the series featured an understated but smart use of music from the era, enhancing the show’s authenticity.
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AtlantaCreated by and starring the multitalented Donald Glover, Atlanta is a drama and comedy about cousins Earn (Glover) and Alfred (Brian Tyree Henry) trying to make a name for themselves in Atlanta’s rap scene. So, naturally, the soundtrack to Atlanta is fire. Migos, Kodak Black, Lloyd, Childish Gambino, and more set the tone for this amazing series.
Viewers enjoy plot twist endings – the type of endings that disrupt our expectations and subvert our perception of the direction we thought the movie or television show was going to take.
Psychological thrillers tend to have the most well-crafted plot twists, as they build suspense over time through the psyche of the characters and their deteriorating sense of reality. Here are eight of the best psychological thriller movies and television shows with the biggest plot twists of all time.
Behind Her EyesBehind Her Eyes is a limited television series on Netflix based on a popular novel and it has a plot twist nobody could have ever predicted in their lifetime. What you thought to be a typical “husband has an affair with his co-worker” storyline is completely turned upside its head when single mother Louise, gets involved with a man named David, and establishes an intriguing friendship with his wife, Adele. The tension builds slowly as we find out Adele’s secrets are even darker than David’s, and that they may in fact (spoiler alert) be supernatural. We can safely say this is one plot twist that will keep your jaw on the floor well beyond the ending of the movie and you will never predict what is in store for you.
Tell Me Your SecretsTell Me Your Secrets is a suspenseful psychological thriller television series that will keep you up at night and it has one of the most shocking plot twist endings of all time. Karen Miller (Lily Rabe) is the ex-partner of notorious serial killer Kit Parker with whom she shared a fairytale romance. She is suspected by society to also be his partner in crime, but it is not clear whether that is fact, fiction, or gossip. Due to the traumas she’s experienced, Karen suffers from large gaps in her memory that prevent her from knowing how involved she was in Kit’s murders of various women, but as she begins to get gradual flashbacks of the night of one of the murders, she is also tracked down by the mother of one of Kit’s victims seeking answers. Plot twist: in the end, it is discovered that Kit may not be the biggest predator in the series, but it’s not Karen we should be worrying about – it is someone we would never suspect.
Another GirlThis movie is a sequel to Ask Me Anything, and it’s a highly underrated psychological thriller with one of the most chilling plot twists of all time. The first movie, Ask Me Anything (which is also well worth watching) follows a young woman, Katie Kampenfelt, who writes a popular blog that transparently details her love life and unconventional sex life with different older men. At the end of the otherwise “light-hearted” movie, Katie goes missing, never to be seen again, and all the men she talked about are suspects. Another Girl follows where Ask Me Anything left off, with a fan of Katie’s, Elle, being contacted by a stranger online who claims to be her. Elle develops a relationship with the mysterious online stranger, and throughout the movie we learn more about the struggles in her life and her vulnerabilities. Viewers wait with bated breath to see who this stranger really is and whether is truly Katie on the other line, but the ending holds a plot twist that is so downright terrifying you will think about it long after you’ve watched it.
The Sixth SenseThe Sixth Sense is a classic example of a movie with the biggest plot twist of all time. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) is a child psychologist treating a patient who claims to see and hear dead people. Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) is haunted by his supernatural gift. Malcolm is gradually turned into a believer as he guides Cole to use his supernatural abilities to aid other “ghost” children like Kyra Collins gain justice for the traumatizing circumstances surrounding their deaths. The plot twist? Malcolm is a ghost himself, and that is why he is able to talk to Cole in the first place.
Shutter IslandShutter Island is another classic movie with a stunning plot twist. Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a U.S. Marshall who, along with his partner Chuck Aule, go on a ferry boat to Shutter Island, so they can investigate the disappearance of a patient, Rachel Solando, at Ashecliffe Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Rachel is a mother imprisoned for drowning her three children. Teddy is also on a side mission to find the man who murdered his wife while at the hospital, a man he believes to be Andrew Laeddis. The plot twist: unfortunately for Teddy, this secret “mission” may all be in his head, and he is far more acquainted with the Ashecliffe Hospital than viewers might assume – not as a marshall, but as a patient himself, and he has a personal relationship with Rachel Solando that makes his story a tragic one. When I first watched Shutter Island in theaters, I am proud to say I figured out the plot twist near the beginning of the film. However, it’s still a very unsettling plot twist no matter when you figure it out and one that is sure to spook viewers upon first watch.
Gone GirlIn the beginning of the movie Gone Girl, we are led to believe that Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) who has disappeared may have been murdered by her husband Nick (Ben Affleck) and that we may actually be hearing her narration from beyond the grave. As we “read” the diary entries of Amy and are thrust into their love story, and follow present-day events as Nick is investigated for her disappearance, however, we are suddenly pivoted into the fact that Amy is actually still alive, and is actively framing her cheating husband for her murder. But an even darker plot twist? This is not the first man Amy has targeted and it likely won’t be her last.
SearchingIn the movie Searching, David Kim (John Cho) investigates the disappearance of his daughter Margot. This cyber-thriller is filmed primarily on computers, laptops, phones, and uses Facetime, news media, and videos to build suspense and tension, making it an even more intense ride for the viewer. The movie features many red herrings until we finally find out the culprit behind Margot’s disappearance, and even before we discover the culprit, there are minor plot twists leading up to the grand finale. For example, David finds out that Margot filmed videos for a streaming site called YouCast, he begins to suspect a friend on the site, Hannah, who lives in a different state. In one of the movie’s first creepy plot twists, David sees Hannah’s photo being used on the memorial site for his still missing daughter and realizes she’s a stock model and isn’t truly Margot’s friend. In another, David discovers strange texts between Margot and his brother. But the person behind all of it is someone much closer and more shocking than we would ever suspect.
Where The Crawdads SingThis cinematic masterpiece and drama psychological thriller follows the life of a young outcast, Kya, known as “Marsh Girl,” who has been accused of murdering Chase Andrews, a popular quarterback. Kya (Daisy Edgar-Jones), who raised herself after being abandoned by her family in the marshes of North Carolina, is misled with false promises of a relationship into sleeping with Chase, only to later discover he is engaged to another woman. However, when she tries to let the relationship go, Chase becomes violent and destructive. Throughout the film, we are led to believe Kya may be innocent due to her alibi, but the truth of what really happened the night of Chase’s murder comes to light at the end with a plot twist that is riveting and satisfying for viewers.
Materialists is Celine Song’s newest film starring Dakota Johnson as Lucy, a matchmaker in New York City whose views on love and relationships are practical and intellectually driven—she can easily tell who will be a good match for each other based on a list of criteria, and thanks to her skillset, she’s managed to set up nine different couples for marriage.
But her time in the industry has left her feeling jaded about romance, and so she’s vowed to stay single or marry rich—after all, after growing up poor, she’s seen the strain financial issues can have on a family.
Enter Harry (Pedro Pascal), an ultra-wealthy bachelor, and John (Chris Evans), Lucy’s ex who lost her after their relationship went south due to financial issues. They both appear in Lucy’s life at around the same time, during one of her clients’ weddings, and it puts her values to the test—does she go with the stable man she doesn’t know well who wants to give her a good life? Or does she return to the man she’s spent her life loving deeply, but who wasn’t able to give her what she believed she deserved in the past?
Materialists is ultimately about love, societal value, and self-worth—and how each of these play a part in modern relationships. Here are the best quotes from the movie:
1.Lucy (Dakota Johnson): I don’t like you because you’re rich.
Harry (Pedro Pascal): Then why do you like me?
Lucy: Because you make me feel valuable.
Harry: You are valuable.
2.Lucy (Dakota Johnson): You’re the same as always.
John (Chris Evans): I was hoping you’d say I was different.
Lucy: Why?
John: Because then I wouldn’t be the guy that lost you.
3.John (Chris Evans): I’m a beggar for you. When I see your face, I see wrinkles, gray hair, and children that look like you. Can’t help it.
4.Lucy (Dakota Johnson): My client is also on a date right now. I really want her to like this guy. She’s had, like, ten bad dates in a row and I need to deliver.
Harry (Pedro Pascal): Oh, are you feeling guilty that you’re about to go on a good date?
5.John (Chris Evans): I can’t give you the wedding or the marriage that you want. I couldn’t even give you the relationship you wanted. It’s been years and I still can’t afford to be with you.
Lucy (Dakota Johnson): You’re right, you can’t. But just because you can’t afford it doesn’t meant mean it’s worth having. You don’t want me.
6.Harry (Pedro Pascal): It’s really hard for me to feel like this is not about the legs.
7.Lucy (Dakota Johnson): If the service I was providing you was building a man, of course I could build you a man with everything on this list, but I can’t, because this is not a car or a house. We’re talking about people. People are people are people are people. They come as they are. And all I can hope to find for you is a man you can tolerate for the next fifty years who likes you at all. And you are not a catch! Because you are not a fish.
8.Lucy (Dakota Johnson): You’ll somehow manage to make a couple of kids, and then you’ll get sick of each other. One of you will cheat on the other, and you’ll fight. At first, not in front of the kids, but then, in front of the kids. And then you resent the kids for seeing you fight. And then you file for divorce, and you fight about who owns what and who gets the kids when until it’s all over.
9.John (Chris Evans): Why does anyone even get married?
Lucy (Dakota Johnson): Because people tell them they should. Because they’re lonely. And because they’re hopeful.
10.John (Chris Evans): How would you like to make a very bad financial decision?
Steven Spielberg’s epic American thriller has been one of our move beloved films for half a century. As we celebrate the big 5-0 with cinema’s most famous beast, and bassline to boot, here are some of the funniest and sharpest dialogues that perfectly encapsulated 1970s east coast summer vibes within a horror-filled tale of carnage and adventure.
1.
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Jaws
2.“Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y’know the thing about a shark, he’s got… lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’… until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then… oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces.” – Quint
3.“So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.” – Quint
- “I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.” – Quint
5.Quint: What d’ya have there – a portable shower or a monkey cage?
Hooper: Anti-Shark cage.
Quint: Anti-shark cage. You go inside the cage?
[Hooper nods]
Quint: Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark.
6.
I’m not going to waste my time arguing with a man who’s lining up to be a hot lunch.
Jaws
7.“Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.” – Quint
8.“This was no boat accident.” – Hooper
9.“I just found out, that a girl got killed here last week, and you knew it! You knew there was a shark out there! You knew it was dangerous! But you let people go swimming anyway? You knew all those things! But still my boy is dead now. And there’s nothing you can do about it. My boy is dead. I wanted you to know that.” – Mrs. Kintner
10.
I can do anything; I’m the chief of police.
Jaws
11.Brody: It doesn’t make any sense when you pay a guy like you to watch sharks.
Hooper: Well, uh, it doesn’t make much sense for a guy who hates the water to live on an island either.
Brody: It’s only an island if you look at it from the water.
Hooper: That makes a lot of sense.
12.“Martin, it’s all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, “Huh? What?” You yell shark, we’ve got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.” – Mayor Vaughn
13.“Boys, oh boys… I think he’s come back for his noon feeding.” – Hooper
14.Brody: On the water?
Hooper: Well, if we’re looking for a shark we’re not gonna find him on the land.
15.Ellen Brody: What am I going to tell the kids?
Brody: Tell them I’m going fishing.
16.“I’m pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But, as you see, it’s a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means “friendship”. – Mayor Vaughn
17.“Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It’s really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that’s all.” -Hooper
18.Quint: You have city hands, Mr. Hooper. You been countin’ money all your life.
Hooper: All right, all right! Hey, I don’t need this… I don’t need this working-class-hero crap!
19.Brody: Yeah, but I’m not drunk enough to go out on a boat.
Hooper: Yes, you are.
Brody: No, I’m not.
Hooper: Yes, you are.
Brody: I can’t do that.
Hooper: Yes, you can.
20.
Back home we got a taxidermy man. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him.
Jaws
It’s Friday! You know what that means: There’s plenty to watch.
In addition to some cool shows and movies releasing on streaming today, Friday is also the day when new movies officially come to theaters. Just because this is a streaming guide, that doesn’t mean we’re telling you to never leave the house. Check out what’s new and notable today.
Netflix’s Olympo combines sports, drama, and steamy romanceNetflixStream Olympo on NetflixEveryone loves a bit of drama and racy intrigue, right? It looks like that’s exactly what Netflix’s new show Olympo promises. Some are calling it “Elites, but with athletes.” Set in a high-performance Olympic training center surrounded by gorgeous mountains, the shows follows a cast of hopefuls as they train to get on Spain’s Olympic team. It’s said to be filled with twists and drama galore.
Noah’s Arc: The Movie comes to Paramount+ today–and it’s not what it sounds likeParamount+Stream the movieStream the showIf you’re like me, you saw that title and immediately assumed it was a retelling of the religious allegory. Nope! Noah’s Arc: The Movie is a continuation of the comedy drama show that began its short life on the Logo Channel back in 2005. Now, 20 years later, it’s getting a movie so fans can learn what’s happened with the queer Black characters in the intervening decades. The movie debuts on Paramount+ with Showtime today–just in time for Pride. And if you want to watch the show before the movie, you can stream that, too.
“Nightmarish” sci-fi horror film Ash releases on ShudderShudderAn astronaut (played by Eiza González) wakes up on a space station with her entire crew having been killed. Originally premiering at South by Southwest (SXSW), this space horror film is being likened to the kind of upsetting visual horror you might find from Brandon Cronenberg (Possessor, Infinity Pool). It currently has a Rotten Tomatoes critics’ score of 71% and gets its streaming premier today on Shudder.
Movies coming to theaters todayDisney PixarIf you’re looking to cool off in a movie theater instead, here’s what’s coming out today:
- 28 Years Later, the third movie and much-awaited sequel to 28 Days Later (2002) and 28 Weeks Later (2007)
- Elio, a new Disney Pixar movie in which the titular character find himself beamed up from Earth by a slew of interesting aliens
- Bride Hard, starring Rebel Wilson and Anna Camp, answers the age-old question: What if my maid of honor was a spy?
What we’re talking about* 4 Coming-Of-Age Movies That Are Absolute Sob Fests for when you just need a good cry * 5 Best Anime For Beginners To Watch On Crunchyroll if you’ve been wanting to get into anime but you’ve had no idea where to start * 7 Ways Sci-Fi Shows Like ‘Ironheart’ And ‘Severance’ Are Predicting The 2030s, because sometimes life follows art
Happy Streaming!
Like life itself, TV is packed to the brim with individuals we avidly love and adore, be it memorable cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny and SpongeBob SquarePants or more relatable protagonists like Michael Scott and Saul Goodman.
On the flip side of that same coin, certain characters seem to stand out in audiences’ memory for all the wrong reasons, with many viewers reserving a deep-seated hatred for these characters years–sometimes decades–later. From sadistic boy-kings to brash, loud-mouthed office employees, here are some of the most hated characters we’ve ever seen on television.
Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones)HBOWhen most people think of television characters they utterly despise, the image of a smirking Joffrey Baratheon is the first image that comes to mind. The sociopathic ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, Joffrey fulfills that age-old caricature of a spoiled boy-king to a T. Ignored by his father and pampered by his mother from the earliest days of his childhood, Joffrey spent his whole life preparing to take the Iron Throne, allowing him to terrorize his subjects without having to answer to anyone (including his own family).
Livia Soprano (The Sopranos)HBOWhen considering the landscape of pop culture, it becomes clear that Livia Soprano certainly isn’t winning any prizes for the best mom in television history. The aged matriarch of the Soprano family, Livia’s chief joy in life is making everyone around her miserable, be it her long-suffering son, Tony, or any one of her grandchildren. Constantly playing the victim in order to garner sympathy from her loved ones, Livia never passes up an opportunity to manipulate those closest to her, playing mental mind games with anyone unfortunate enough to fall into her geriatric clutches.
Todd Alquist (Breaking Bad)AMCQuite possibly the most realistic psychopath ever created, Todd Alquist might seem kindly and well-mannered on the surface, but as Breaking Bad fans readily know, he’s anything but. An emotionless professional criminal who hides behind his awkward, boyish charm, Todd has proven himself capable of committing atrocious acts with little hesitation and even less remorse. Whether gunning down women and children or psychologically torturing an imprisoned Jesse, few villains make viewers’ skin crawl quite like Walter White’s cold-blooded protege.
Scrappy-Doo (Scooby-Doo)Hanna-BarberaIntroducing a new character into a beloved TV is always a risk, with some characters threatening to upset the dynamic of the original cast. In hindsight, Scrappy-Doo is a perfect example of this disastrous phenomenon, frustrating viewers for literal decades after his debut in 1979’s Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo. The polar opposite of his faint-hearted uncle, Scrappy-Doo’s grating voice and stout-hearted attitude didn’t exactly win audiences over in the 1970s, with the character later resurfacing in a more villainous role in 2002’s Scooby-Doo live-action movie. If that’s not evidence of his clear unpopularity as a character, we don’t know what is.
Todd Packer (The Office)NBCDeep down, it’s safe to say that everyone dreads the idea of working with someone like Todd Packer. The obnoxious, misogynistic, homophobic, racist traveling salesman at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, Todd Packer has the ability to induce groans of annoyance within moments of wandering back on-screen. Whether harassing his fellow co-workers or telling disgusting, off-color jokes to his “best friend” Michael Scott, we can’t help but share the Scranton branch’s low regard for the Pack-Man, shaking our head every time he returns to The Office.
Ramsay Bolton (Game of Thrones)HBOYes, we know it’s cheating picking two characters from the same TV show, but if there’s anyone who rivals Games of Thrones’ Joffrey Baratheon as the most hated character in television, it’s the eminent psychopath of The Dreadfort, Ramsay Bolton. Whereas Joffrey might be a weak-willed, cowardly bully who hides behind his rule title, Ramsay personally inflicts pain and suffering on any one of his victims, free from the restraints of morality or his influential position in House Bolton. A merciless sadist who’s tortured and/or murdered innocent men, women, and children with a gleeful smile on his face, few TV characters match Ramsay in terms of his loathsome personality or his horrific love of violence.
Here are 10 of the best movie quotes about heartbreak and moving on.
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Someone Great“My hope is if we add up the ‘one mores’ they will equal a lifetime, and I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go. But that’s not real, is it? There are no more one mores. I met you when everything was new and exciting, and the possibilities of the world seemed endless. And they still are…for you, for me, but not for us.”–Jenny Young
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500 Days Of Summer“Look, I know you think she was the one, but I don’t. Now, I think you’re just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I, uh, I really think you should look again.”–Rachel Hansen
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Her“Dear Catherine, I’ve been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for. All the pain we caused each other. Everything I put on you. Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say. I’m sorry for that. I’ll always love you ’cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am. I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I’m grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I’m sending you love. You’re my friend to the end. Love, Theodore.”–Theodore
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Marriage Story“Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst.”–Ted
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Casablanca“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”–Rick
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Call Me By Your Name “We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new, but to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel; what a waste.”–Mr. Perlman
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When Harry Met SallyHarry Burns: I miss her.
Sally Albright: I don’t miss him. I really don’t.
Harry Burns: Not even a little?
Sally Albright: You know what I miss? I miss the idea of him.
Harry Burns: Maybe I only miss the idea of Helen…No, I miss the whole Helen.
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High Fidelity“What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery, and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?”–Rob
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Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind“What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she’s a stranger.”–Joel
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Blue Valentine“I’m so out of love with you. I’ve got nothing left for you, nothing, nothing. Nothing, there is nothing here for you.”–Cindy
In the midst of the streaming era, when just about anything and everything we feel like watching is at the tip of our fingers, few shows really have the staying power to continue its popularity throughout the years. Gilmore Girls, however, has proven to be one of the greats.
When it first aired in 2000, this cozy TV show about a young mother and her teen daughter charmed viewers with its wit and heart, but as it continued through the seasons, it added complicated layers and heartbreaking twists, leaving viewers with plenty of reasons to continue watching. And 25 years later, so many of its storylines are still relevant, leaving fans with a timeless show they can return to again and again, not to mention characters that feel a little bit like friends—and that’s where Rory Gilmore comes in.
When the show begins, Rory is 16, and throughout the seasons, we get to watch her go from a bookish high schooler to a (still bookish) adult lost in the complications of adulthood. When it comes to her career, her love life, and her family, she might not always know exactly what to do, but she oftentimes knows just what to say. Here are the best Rory Gilmore quotes from Gilmore Girls:
1.“I’m having one of those moments where everything is so perfect that you almost feel sad that nothing can ever be this good again.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
2.“Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
3.“I live in two worlds. One is a world of books.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
4.“My books look sad. Can books look sad?” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
5.“A little nervous breakdown can really work wonders for a girl.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
6.“God, you are like a pop-up book from hell.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
7.“As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
8.“I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
9.Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel): If all else fails, you can marry rich.
Lorelei Gilmore (Lauren Graham): I love that we always have that option.
10.“I can’t believe we sit around and talk about books and get graded on it.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
11.“Don’t take this personally, but get out.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
12.Dean Forester (Jared Padalecki): She’s got energy.
Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel): Yeah, well, she’s 90% water, 10% caffeine.
13.Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel): You know, it’s weird—most of the time, I really hated you.
Paris Geller (Liza Weil): Yeah, I really hated you, too.
14.“Come back, refocus, remember the goal.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
15.“Don’t show it to me. I have no time for recreational reading until June.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
16.“Because I love you, you idiot.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
17.“If you can’t take the drama, then you shouldn’t even be in a relationship.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
18.Logan Huntzberger (Matt Czunchry): I’m madly in love with you.
Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel): Well, good luck with that.
19.“So I spent a night in jail. Big deal. So did Martin Luther King.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
20.“Nothing excites me before 11:00.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
21.Richard Gilmore (Edward Herman): Rory, who’s your friend?
Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel): I don’t know, but this is Tristan.
22.“Trig, I can do. But boys and dating, forget it.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
23.“It’s Avril Lavigne’s world and we’re just living in it.” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
24.“The dress is fine. The person in it, however…” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
25.“I got kissed. And I shoplifted!” — Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)
Here are three truly unhinged MTV reality dating shows from the 2000s that would never be made today.
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Room Raiders (2003-2009)Room Raiders was an MTV reality show with a simple premise: one single contestant would judge three others based on their bedrooms and would use their assessment to choose who they wanted to go on a date with. Factors including cleanliness, organization, decor, whether the bed was made, etc. Oh, but that’s not all; the three potential dates also got to snoop through the raider’s room too. At the end, the raider and three potential dates come face to face and the single raider decides who they want to ask out.
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Next (2005-2008)Next was true mayhem and it was honestly amazing. Here’s how it went down: one contestant goes on up to five blind dates (known as “the daters”). The catch is that the contestant can end the date whenever they want, without warning, simply by saying, “Next!” The other catch is that the daters will earn $1 for every minute they last on the date.
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Date My Mom (2004-2006)Date My Mom was the weird show where single people between the ages of 18 and 24 would go on three separate dates with three different moms. On these dates, the mothers would attempt to convince the single person to date their son or daughter. Yeah. It was weird.
As it turns out, Challengers isn’t just that “sexy Zendaya tennis movie.” It’s also that “sexy Zendaya polyamory movie.”
Truly, polyamory has rarely been so casually depicted as it is in Challengers. With its sultry trio of sun-kissed stars, the movie matter-of-factly portrays polyamory as something pure and simple – something natural, something already in our bones. Ultimately, it’s refreshing to see Tashi Duncan (Zendaya) comfortably in love with two men (Mike Faist and Josh O’Connor). It’s an antidote to the tawdry love triangles of past dramas. It may also inspire you to hunt down further sexy polyamory movies. However, since “sexy polyamory movies” is not yet a category available on Netflix, we’ve done the work for you. Here are some of the best (and worst) examples of sexy polyamory movies.
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017)Annapurna PicturesBy using the creator of the Wonder Woman comics, William Moulton Marston, as a case study, this historical drama became the first mainstream Hollywood film to portray polyamory in a thorough, positive light. It’s a shame that more people didn’t see it: Normies could have benefited from learning that Wonder Woman was inspired by S&M fantasies. (That lasso should have been the first clue.) In any case, the movie’s portrayal of Marston (Luke Evans) and his two loves (Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote) was multifaceted enough to thrill and delight viewers.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)Warner Bros.This movie was written and directed by He Who Must Not Be Named (it rhymes with Shmoody Shmallen), but it also depicts consensual non-monogamy in a non-salacious light. When this movie’s free-spirited Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) shacks up with María Elena (Penélope Cruz) and Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), the union feels as organic as Shmoody Shmallen’s cancelation by modern society. Though the poly drama is sometimes played for laughs, Antonio acts ethically throughout the movie. Additionally, María Elena and Cristina are supportive of each other (until they aren’t), and every relationship in the triad feels equal (until it doesn’t).
Shortbus (2006)THINKFilmIf you want to know what Manhattan was like when it was still cool–before it became a playground for the wealthy–then watch Shortbus. Like any good niche arthouse movie, the film features not just matter-of-fact polyamory, but also a three-way blowjob, a vegan orgy, self-fellatio, and plenty of gay stuff. And all of it was unsimulated. Mind you, this John Cameron Mitchell-directed movie came out in 2006! Veganism was not yet weaponized by Gwyneth Paltrow.
Sense8 (2015-2017)NetflixThe polyamory in this short-lived series was presented as a superpower–something that bound and reinforced its eight main characters. Of course, this sci-fi show was co-created by the Wachowskis, so the eight aforementioned “sensates” were psychically linked by some new age techno mumbo jumbo. However, the sensates’ connection still made them essentially a poly pan octet (octad?) who relied on each other emotionally, physically, and often sexually. In any case, this show was great fun from start to finish.
Savages (2012)Universal PicturesIn this twisted (but not twisty; don’t get that twisted) Oliver Stone thriller, Blake Lively starred as the girlfriend of both Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Can you think of a more 2012 sentence? That said, Savages stands out for the way it addresses its central trio’s homoerotic undertones, even though it never presents polyamory as something mutually beneficial for its characters. After all, this is a movie about unlikeable people doing bad things: It’s not intent on exploring the magnanimity of the human spirit. Plus, Hollywood needs bad examples of polyamory for movies like Challengers to show the trope’s potential.
Kinsey (2004)Fox Searchlight PicturesBefore Liam Neeson became the reigning king of B-movie action flicks, he was getting Oscar-nominated for doing gay stuff with Peter Sarsgaard in Kinsey. Yes, it’s true: Hetero Icon Liam Neeson made out with a dude once. But said dalliance was more than just a scandalous scene.
In this movie, Neeson’s character, Alfred Kinsey, is a scientist exploring the depths and limits of human sexuality. But by falling in love with his assistant (Sarsgaard), he realizes that sex is more than a sanctified heterosexual act within the confines of marriage: It’s a multivariant confluence of desires that manifests itself uniquely in every human being (except normies). In any case, Kinsey learns how to juggle his dual loves–Sarsgaard’s character and his wife–and thus sets the groundwork for future positive depictions of polyamory in Hollywood.
The Dreamers (2003)Fox Searchlight PicturesConsidering that two-thirds of this movie’s poly triad are brother and sister, it’s amazing that this movie isn’t ickier. And yet, Michael Pitt’s character Matthew falls in love with both Isabelle (Eva Green) and Théo (Louis Garrel), a very French brother-sister duo, without causing viewers to vomit. That doesn’t mean that the movie is a pristine example of polyamory in movies; in fact, it’s unclear whether this trio’s relationship is ethical non-monogamy or just an average Parisian Tuesday afternoon. Nevertheless, it’s at least poly-adjacent, and in a Hollywood landscape featuring scant poly representation, some members of the poly community have claimed it. Et voilà.
Here are four of the most toxic couples in movie history.
- Nate and Andy (The Devil Wears Prada)Iykyk: Nate is the true villain in The Devil Wears Prada.
In the movie, Andy (Anne Hathaway) lands a job at Runway, a fashion magazine, as a junior personal assistant for the publication’s editor-in-chief Miranda Priestly. Andy is totally unfamiliar with the world of fashion but hoped to use Runway as a stepping stone for future journalism roles. Initially, Andy’s job performance is…messy to say the least. And it didn’t help that Miranda is a truly horrifying character. However, in time, Andy gradually begins to kill it and is given more and more responsibility and opportunities.
However, despite these professional successes and milestones, Andy’s boyfriend Nate (Adrian Grenier) is not supportive. In fact, he begins to resent Andy for her commitment to her career and her change in personal style. And despite the fact Andy was thriving and happy with her evolution in both her sense of self and career, Andy felt threatened and was deeply judgmental. Eventually, they break up as a result.
- Edward Cullen and Bella Swan (Twilight)Despite how their “love” story was touted as one for the ages when the book and movies first came out, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan from the Twilight series actually suck together (sorry, I had to).
Anyway, if we were playing Toxic Relationship Bingo, they’d mark every single box:
- Edward’s possessiveness
- Mutual obsession
- Horrific communication
- Edward’s controlling behavior
- Codependence
- Bella’s recklessness
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Edward constantly putting Bella in dangerous situations
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Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele (Fifty Shades Of Grey)I mean, obviously. While the book intended (I think lol) to showcase sexual exploration in the form of a BDSM and to entertain suburban moms, uh…it was actually a completely abusive arrangement and not at all romantic. Also, Fifty Shades Of Grey started as Twilight fan fiction. So. There’s also that.
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Amy Dunne and Nick Dunne (Gone Girl)I mean, the entire plot of Gone Girl is about seeking vengeance on a cheating spouse. In this case, it was Nick cheating on Amy. Instead of getting divorced, trying couples counseling, or maybe seeing a therapist herself, Amy devises a truly unhinged plan: fake her own disappearance and murder that she will frame Nick for. The movie has a crazy plot twist at the end that is truly diabolical. Anyway, Amy and Nick are truly the definition of toxicity.
Thank you for attending this week’s meeting of the Gay Agenda.
If you are not an LGBTQ ally or queer person, then you are not meant to be in attendance and must leave immediately for your own safety. The knowledge shared during this session may cause your face to melt like the Nazis at the end of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. You have been warned.
Now, for the rest of you: We have almost completed our goal of turning 10% of the world gay. As many of you know, these humans were already gay and were only suppressing their sexuality in order to conform with cultural and societal expectations. However, our invisible gamma rays, recently updated thanks to a generous donation, have allowed them to come out of the closet. Here are seven cinematic vessels that are currently transmitting these aforementioned gamma rays into people’s brains, turning them gay.
Stranger by the LakeLes Films du LosangePlot: Set entirely by a cruising lake in France, this thrilling noir follows Franck and his love interest, who may or may not be a murderer. There’s enough on-screen tension, both sexual and otherwise, to make someone want to book a trip to a gay cruising lake — even someone who has never had a gay thought in their life.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Public sex; full-frontal male nudity; a persistent sense of danger; presence of Speedos.
Fire IslandSearchlight PicturesPlot: A group of gay friends travel to Fire Island for a vacation filled with poppers, raves, karaoke, and the shade of it all, only to find themselves in an Austenian dramedy of epic proportions. Inspired by Pride and Prejudice, Fire Island is a perfect queer rom-com that hits all the right beats. Hidden within these beats are subatomic particles that devastate hetersexuality.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Margaret Cho.
BoundSummit EntertainmentPlot: Bestowed upon us by the Wachwoskis when The Matrix was just a glint in their eye, this movie follows Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly as Corky and Violet, a lesbian ex-con and mob girlfriend trapped in a fairytale of Sapphic seduction. This crime thriller is a masterclass in tension and style.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Gina Gershon in a tank top; Jennifer Tilly whispering homoerotic innuendos; lesbians fixing household appliances.
Y Tu Mamá También20th Century FoxPlot: Two young men (Gel García Bernal and Diego Luna) embark upon an impulsive road trip with a mysterious older woman who plies them with tequila and flirty glances until they give in to their repressed bisexuality.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Implicit critiques of monogamous heterosexuality; sexual fluidity; Gael García Bernal in a pool.
The HandmaidenCJ EntertainmentPlot: This decadent tale of desire and deception is as visually rapturous as it is horny. With this movie, director Park Chan-wook somehow transforms a Victorian-era novel into a concoction of forbidden sex and toxic luxury. The period South Korean setting highlights the naughtiness of the central handmaiden’s relationship with a wealthy heiress.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Fingers in mouths; triple-crossing lesbians; creative use of rope.
North Sea TexasKinepolisPlot: This sweet coming-of-age story from Belgium is a tender homage to suburban ennui and aching teenage desire. Pim, an idealistic teen, falls truly and deeply for his best friend Gino, catapulting both of them into a sensual and dreamy world of torturous closeted glimpses.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Foreign cinema; closeted teenagers pretending not to watch each other undress; a special camping trip.
Blue is the Warmest ColorWild BunchPlot: Emma and Adèle (no, not that one) collapse into a pool of sweat, tears, and erotic hunger as their passionate connection bursts into a phantasmagoria of blue hair dye and oysters. Though this movie suffered from behind-the-scenes drama, its messy magnetism lives on in the brilliant performances of its stars, Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos. This infamous film is also controversial for its extended sex scene, but that’s exactly why we have kept it among our rotation of movies that systematically destroy heterosexuality.
Gay Agenda requirements met: Intense eye contact between French lesbians; seven-minute sex scene involving French lesbians; French lesbians.
Psychological thriller shows enthrall us and often feature mind games, plot twists, and characters with dark personality traits that keep us hooked. Here are the nine best psychological thriller tv shows of all time and where to stream them.
YouJoe Goldberg has an unhealthy obsession.Hello, you. Joe Goldberg is just your typical creepy, stalkerish neighborhood psychopathic serial killer looking for love in all the wrong places (or perhaps the right ones, with all the wrong motives). In You, Penn Badgley gives one of the eeriest performances in TV show history. In four seasons, we see Joe become obsessed with and kill the women he stalks and claims to love, fall in love with a woman (Love Quinn) who has similar predilections, only to not even be able to handle meeting someone like him, and even go to England as a fugitive on the run, manipulating students as a professor.
MindhunterHolden Ford is an FBI agent that wants to understand the minds of psychopaths.FBI agents Holden Ford and Bill Tench and psychologist Wendy Carr lead the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit as they start to interview imprisoned serial killers so they can better understand the mindset and motives of criminals who commit sadistic and violent crimes. The show features serial killers like the BTK Killer, Edmund Kemper, and Richard Speck.
Tell Me Your SecretsIt’s hard when your former lover turns out to be a psychopathic serial killer.It’s hard when your former lover turns out to be a psychopathic serial killer, and even more difficult when you can’t remember whether you also committed crimes alongside him. Lily Rabe stars as Karen Miller in Tell Me Your Secrets, the ex-partner of notorious serial killer Kit Parker. After she finds out about Kit’s horrific crimes against women, Karen is forced to relive her romantic history with Kit while being hunted down by one of the mothers of Kit’s victims. However, all is not what it seems and the real psychopaths in sheep’s clothing are yet to be discovered.
Behind Her EyesBehind Her Eyes has one of the most shocking plot twists of all time.What seems like your typical “husband has affair” television show has one of the biggest plot twists of all time in Behind Your Eyes, a mind-bending psychological thriller about Louise, single mother who begins a love affair with her new boss David, and a strangely alluring friendship with his wife. However, the relationship between David and his wife holds deeper, darker secrets that no one could have ever imagined. This is one television show we can confidently say has a surprise ending you will never see coming.
The StrangerA stranger promises to reveal all secrets.Harlan Corben’s The Stranger stars Richard Armitage as Adam Price. When Adam is approached by a mysterious stranger in a baseball hat claiming to know secrets about his wife, Corinne, Corinne disappears and Adam is forced to grapple with the true nature of the people he loves the most. The Stranger is a suspenseful tv thriller that also has a surprise plot twist ending no one could have foreseen.
ClickbaitA tale about social media and kidnapping.A father goes missing, and his loved ones are sent a viral video where he holds up a sign saying he abuses women, and he will die if the video receives five million views. Zoe Kazan stars as Pia Brewer in this psychological thriller drama, Nick’s younger sister who helps to uncover the truth of what really happened the night Nick Brewer disappeared and investigates whether Nick is really the predator he is being painted as or if his kidnappers have darker motives.
Bates MotelThere’s just something not quite right about Norman Bates and his mother.Freddie Highmore plays a younger version of Norman Bates, a contemporary retelling and prequel to Hitchcock’s film, Psycho. Bates Motel explores the terrifyingly enmeshed relationship between Norman and his mother as Norman becomes more and more dangerous.
DexterDexter is just your friendly neighborhood sociopath, a blood splatter analyst by day and a serial killer of serial killers by night. He only kills the “bad guys” but occasionally makes mistakes too. As viewers follow Dexter through his journey as a killer who tries to flee detection and capture and cleans up the scenes of his own crimes, we also get a horrifying look into how he became the killer that he is, and how his “extracurricular activities” affect his romantic relationships and ability to live a normal life.
The FallPsychopaths lead double lives.A detective, Stella Gibson, hunts down a serial killer who targets young professional women and lives a double life as a family man while confronting the demons of her own past. The Fall is a suspenseful tv thriller about psychopaths that will keep you on your toes.
Has there ever been a pair of filmmaking siblings more universally decorated than the Coen brothers?
Arriving on the scene in the mid 1980s, the Coens climbed the ladder of the larger entertainment industry with prodigious speed, rising from a humble indie background to mainstream acclaim by the end of the decade. Combining their signature madcap dialogue with eccentric characters and plot twist-heavy narratives, the Coens have proven themselves more than capable at handling any genre that falls into their hands, be it comedy, crime, drama, or historical adventure.
From atmospheric Westerns to cult classic comedies, here are the Coen brothers’ greatest films to date, ranked in order from worst to best.
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A Serious Man (2009)Focus FeaturesWithout a doubt the Coens’ most underrated movie, A Serious Man provides a sweeping look at one man’s personal plight in 1960s suburban Minnesota. Tackling such wide-ranging issues as orthodox religion, marital disputes, career frustrations, and a widening distance between estranged family members, A Serious Man’s grounded storyline is nevertheless brimming with relatable themes. Dark, funny, and existentially thought-provoking, it’s a fantastic dramedy that deserves far more attention from mainstream audiences.
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Blood Simple (1984)Circle FilmsThe debut effort from the Coens, Blood Simple also serves as one of the most influential indie dramas of the 1980s. Along with their close friend and contemporary Sam Raimi’s work on the Evil Dead series, the Coens utilized every penny of their threadbare budget with Blood Simple, contributing to a startling neo-noir thriller of almost Hitchcockian depth and simplicity. It may lack the fundamental humor of the Coens’ later work, but many of the foremost traits that came to be associated with the brothers’ name is on clear display here (the vividly-drawn characters, the tight script, the crosses and double-crosses, etc.).
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True Grit (2010)Paramount PicturesIf anyone could hand in a remake that eclipsed the popularity of the original, it was bound to be the Coens. The second adaptation of Charles Portis’ monumental Western novel, the Coens managed to create a fully-formed portrait of the Old West with True Grit, right down to its unforgiving exploration of frontier law and order. Trading in a blustery John Wayne for an equally cantankerous Jeff Bridges, 2010’s True Grit is a splendid Western narrative that expounds upon the true cost of revenge.
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The Big Lebowski (1998)Gramercy PicturesIn many ways, one might accurately describe The Big Lebowski as the definitive cult movie. Spawning legions of fans, various international film festivals, and even entire religions, The Big Lebowski has achieved a coveted iconic status most directors could only dream about. Infusing a stoner comedy into a neo-noir mystery film, the Coens ushered in an anarchic comedy film the likes of which we seldom saw before.
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Fargo (1996)Gramercy PicturesTo this day, Fargo might very well be the most universally recognizable entry in the Coens’ expansive filmography. Earning the prestigious Academy Award for Best Picture at the 69th Oscars, it’s long since become a beloved staple of modern American cinema, perfectly blending dark comedy with unexpected plot developments. Bolstered by a scene-stealing Frances McDormand as the perpetually peppy police chief Marge Gunderson, Fargo is an eminently enjoyable movie from start to finish, featuring sharp writing, clever acting, and a lightning-fast pace.
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Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)CBS FilmsWe’ve all probably grappled with our individual talents, assessing our respective skills as we strive towards our lifelong dreams for the future. But what if our skills just weren’t good enough to warrant a career? What if our abilities can only get us so far? Such is the simple but haunting idea behind the Coens’ ingenious 2013 dark comedy drama,Inside Llewyn Davis. Loosely based on the life of folk singer Dave Van Ronk, Inside Llewyn Davis traces its title character’s hopeless search for fame, fortune, and musical success in 1960s Greenwich Village. Overcoming various obstacles in his creative endeavors, Inside Llewyn Davis conjures up as endearing a portrait of musical talent as Amadeus, ending on an embittered final note for Oscar Isaac’s wayward folk singer.
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No Country for Old Men (2007)Paramount PicturesDespite being known for their impressive original scripts, the Coens’ single best film ironically came courtesy of a pre-existing novel. Meticulously adapted from Cormac McCarthy’s best-selling neo-Western of the same name, No Country for Old Men brilliantly transposes the archetypical Western narrative to 1970s Texas. Opting for subdued minimalism in lieu of breathy dialogue, the Coens expertly retained all the components that made McCarthy’s work so fantastic in the first place, including its existential study of fate, chance, and the nature of evil in the modern world.
I have borderline personality disorder (BPD), an emotional regulation disorder that makes navigating daily life difficult. It affects every facet of my existence including my relationships, self-image, work, and general functioning.
One of the most grueling parts of this diagnosis is that BPD is both highly stigmatized and misunderstood. People with BPD are thought to be manipulative and toxic. The stigma makes me fearful to put myself out there or be myself fully because I’m afraid that I’ll be judged or, even worse, realize that my greatest fears are valid: that I am difficult and unlovable.
And so, I stay quiet about what I want. I’m not on dating apps. I avoid eye contact with friendly faces at the bar. I claim I’m disinterested in romance at the moment, that I’m busy working on myself first. I tell my friends and family I’m just tired when I’m struggling because I don’t want to be a burden. I self-isolate. I say I can handle everything on my own because that’s all I deserve to do.
And honestly? It’s incredibly lonely to live this way.
I’m tiptoeing around my own life, swallowing any desire for love and companionship because something rooted deep within my veins has me believing I am not worthy of those things at all because of my BPD.
If you struggle with mental illness, maybe my experience resonates with you too. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, ADHD, bipolar disorder, or otherwise, the stigma of being mentally ill tends to haunt us, doesn’t it? The shame that sometimes comes along with a mental illness diagnosis lingers. And it is exhausting.
But I’m slowly learning how not to let those fears imposed on me by a stigma dictate how I live my life and see myself. Because the truth is this:
I am not a diagnosis. You are not a diagnosis.
Does living with a mental illness make things hard sometimes? Absolutely. But you don’t have to make having a mental illness even harder by shutting yourself out from love, belonging, and acceptance. You don’t need to punish yourself for something that isn’t your fault.
You are so much more than your symptoms and hardest days. You are not too much for the right people. Anyone meant to be in your life will understand and see you for all that you are and how hard you’re working at fighting through the storms.
Your mental illness does not make you difficult to love. It is part of you, but it is not all of you. Never forget that.
It’s not rude to set boundaries or walk away from someone who has been hurting you – but others might make you feel bad for putting your foot down. Here are a few acts that are commonly mistaken for ‘rude’ and ‘heartless’ that you should actually be doing more of in your day to day life:
Setting strong boundaries.You shouldn’t let anyone pressure you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. You’re allowed to set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate. You don’t have to be polite when someone is disrespecting you and making you feel uncomfortable. You’re allowed to announce that they’ve crossed a line and they can either change their behavior or walk away because you’re not going to deal with less than you deserve.
Saying no.You can’t be everyone’s hero. Even though you enjoy helping out others and want your loved ones to feel supported, it’s not up to you to save them. Sometimes, you need to do what’s best for yourself instead of automatically agreeing to help out without even considering the consequences. You don’t want to put too much on your plate at once. You don’t want to exhaust yourself because you’re trying to help a million different people accomplish a million different things. You need to learn how much you can handle and put a limit on how often you’re willing to help.
Treating yourself as a priority.It’s not selfish to put yourself first. Before you can help anyone else, you have to make sure that you’re doing okay. You’re going to burn yourself out if you overextend yourself without ever stopping to take a break. You’re going to resent everyone you love if you’re doing so much for them that you never get a chance to pursue what you want, to chase after what you deserve. You can’t control whether anyone else treats you like a priority – but you can treat yourself like a priority. You can give yourself the love you’ve been looking for.
Speaking up when you’re upset.You don’t have to swallow your emotions in order to come across as polite. You don’t have to keep the peace in order to save others from discomfort. If someone is wrong, or someone is making you feel bad about yourself, then you’re allowed to disagree with them. You don’t have to sit there quietly and suffer because you’re cool with your own discomfort but feel bad about causing others discomfort. Your feelings matter, too. If you have something to say, then you don’t need to hold yourself back.
Walking away.You are allowed to decide that someone no longer fits into the world you’re trying to create for yourself. If someone has hurt you one too many times, or you feel like they are holding you back, then you’re allowed to say goodbye. Just because they were a big part of your past doesn’t mean you need to drag them along with you into your future. You don’t owe anyone your time or attention. If you want to move on from them, then you have permission. You don’t have to feel guilty about walking away.
The late, great Wes Craven created the antithesis of the proverbial Sandman in 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. He asked the question: What happens if you fall asleep and all hell breaks loose?
Thus, the jumper-wearing, metal claw-slashing murderer known as Freddy Krueger was born, ready to terrify teenagers and turn their every snooze into a nightmare. To borrow from Metallica, the only way to defeat this dream demon would be to “sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight.”
A television anthology series, a million sequels, and a failed reboot later, Freddy continues to be a card-carrying member of the horror movie monster hall of fame, even if he hasn’t appeared on screen for nearly 15 years. But what makes him stand out in a genre that possesses so many iconic characters and memorable bad guys?
The dream demon concept terrifies more than anything elseWhat’s the best way to avoid the likes of Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? Easy – don’t go into the woods or leave doors and windows open. They are killers who succeed thanks to the sheer stupidity of society and the lack of awareness. In Freddy Krueger’s case, there’s no real way to avoid him. After all, everyone needs to sleep at some point, so there’s no place to run or hide. Moreover, if someone deprives themself of sleep, they only make the body weaker and become slim pickings for Freddy.
There’s also something to be said about a killer who attacks when someone sleeps. As per BrainFacts.org, the sensory and emotional parts of the brain run full steam ahead while dreaming, but the ability to reason and rationalize dissipates. This is why people often feel paralyzed by visceral nightmares and can’t say to themselves: This is just a bad dream.
Unlike other slashers, Freddy bides his time and waits for people to be in their most vulnerable state before he strikes. Since he operates in the dream world, he’s able to use mind-bending powers to orchestrate his kills. Sure, other horror movie monsters possess somewhat supernatural abilities to teleport from one place to another in record time and never die, but Freddy’s tactics elevate him to a higher level of terror.
Freddy Krueger has unmatched charismaA Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors / New Line CinemaLook, Freddy Krueger remains a despicable character in A Nightmare on Elm Street and cinema as a whole. He’s a child killer who was dealt with by the parents of Springwood, then he comes back as a malevolent entity seeking revenge. He kills without remorse and isn’t a role model by any means. That said, nobody can deny his charisma.
Actor Robert Englund pumps a showmanship into Freddy that isn’t often found in other horror movie monsters. Neither Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers say much or do anything beyond lugging their humongous selves from one place to the other, looking for their next victims. In comparison, Freddy loves to talk and announce his arrival. He toys with his victims, cracking situational jokes and never missing the opportunity to use a pun.
Looking back, a few of Freddy’s most memorable scenes appear to be heavily influenced by Tex Avery cartoons – albeit with a darker and more sinister sense of humor. For example: When Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp) answers the unplugged phone in A Nightmare on Elm Street, she hears Freddy’s voice as he tells her, “I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy,” and the bottom half of the phone morphs into Freddy’s face as his tongue reaches for her lips. It’s a spine-chilling scene, but it wouldn’t feel out of place in a classic Bugs Bunny cartoon.
A Nightmare on Elm Street can’t be replicatedThe slasher genre doesn’t often boast a lot of novelty. In essence, the premise is always the same: Some deranged individual wants to kill others. The only thing that differs is the motivation or methods. A Nightmare on Elm Street flipped the genre on its head with the introduction of a killer who attacks people in their sleep. While most might look at the supernatural element as the main differentiator, it’s all to do with Freddy Krueger here.
There have been attempts to copy the formula. Take Robert Kurtzman’s Wishmaster, which also features Robert Englund, for instance. The bad guy isn’t a dream demon, but an evil djinn played by Andrew Divoff. The 1997 film received a few sequels, but can it honestly be considered on the same level as A Nightmare on Elm Street? Not a chance, mostly because the villain lacks the charm and menace of Freddy.
Out of all his contemporaries, the dream demon established himself as the most original and coolest horror movie monster of all time in A Nightmare on Elm Street. (Heck, even in Freddy vs. Jason, there shouldn’t be a single person cheering for Jason Voorhees in that crossover film, because Freddy rules and Jason drools.) It’s been 40 years since his debut and no one has managed to outshine him or even buff his metal claws in that period. Considering how peacefully the audience has slept since Freddy last appeared, it’s long overdue for the Springwood Slasher to return and remind everyone that every town has an Elm Street.
Here are 15 people on the absurd and random marriage advice that actually helped their own.
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Always choose to be kind.
Dad said, ‘Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.
semantician
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Find little ways to bond.
My grandfather told me, “‘Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.’ What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking.
t480
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Stay focused on resolution when conflict arises.
Focus on tackling the problem, not each other.
bobbobbobbobbob123
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Don’t try and change your partner. It doesn’t work.
As Rita Rudner said about changing your SO, ‘That pie’s baked. If you want a different flavor, get a different pie.’
SMKnightly
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Have lower expectations.
Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on.
nopants_ranchdance
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Forget potential.
Marry him for who he is. Not his potential.
There-is-No-Beyond
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Know what you want (and go for it).
Grandma said, ‘Love is like coffee. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s cold, sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it’s bitter. No matter how you like it, it is good. But it’s only great when you get it the way you like it. Make sure you get what you want.
Pathfinder91606
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Say thank you often.
Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated.
BVoLatte
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The “annoying” quirks are the good stuff.
My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude:
‘The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.’
drewkungfu
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Act like every time you’re with them is the last time.
Always act like it’s the last time you’ll see them. Cause it might be. My mother passed last year at 45 from her second bout with cancer. Middle of the night, my dad said he’s glad he stayed up later to spend a few more minutes with her. To tell her he loved her. You never know when you’ll never see them again.
Also pride doesn’t belong in your marriage, if you have any self pride leave it at the door both you and your partner serve each other and support each other, each putting the other first and accept that they are giving it their all even if their all isn’t what it was last month.
Dwarven_Archer97
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You marry their family, too.
You don’t just marry her, you marry her whole damn family.
crazyprsn
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Take space for yourself.
This is one I developed myself about 10 years ago.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Your relationship was founded on your individuality. If you are not taking time to be yourselves as individuals, you are not maintaining yourselves and eroding the foundation of you relationship and your life. There is a reason most employers provide vacation. Time to get away from the grindstone, reset, recharge, and breathe. Same thing for your relationships. When you are together, you are a couple. When you are with the kids, you are parents. At work, you are working. There is a reason things like guy’s/girl’s night, man caves, and craft rooms exist. To take time apart, build individually, and appreciate your time together more. This is true of all relationships, romantic, parental, vocational, and personal.
If you’re not breathing, you’re not doing much.
StinkyMcKraken
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Looks aren’t everything.
Looks fade, marry someone who you enjoy talking to. -grandma
I also feel strongly about this one.
Find someone who is ok with you both having separate hobbies. My wife does her thing and I have my hobby. We share some hobbies, but we are ok with spending time apart too. We don’t have to always do them together. I couldn’t imagine marrying a woman who needed to do every single thing I did just to be around me. She needs to have her own life and I love not forcing her into the nerdy stuff I enjoy.
catalystkjoe
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Get the right size bedding.
Get blankets that are bigger than your bed size. Queen size bed? Get King sized comforter. No more fighting for cover while sleeping.
Imthmnky
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Sex isn’t the only way to be intimate.
Intimacy isn’t about sex.
jennej1289
You aren’t a coward for feeling anxious in front of a crowd. Or when making a phone call. Or when answering an email. Or when doing any other activity that your friends and family are able to do so easily, without breaking a sweat. You might be jealous of how naturally social interactions seem to come to everyone else, but you can’t treat yourself like a punching bag. You aren’t as cowardly as you feel. In fact, people with anxiety are some of the bravest humans out there.
You’re brave for agreeing to future plans when you have no idea what your anxiety is going to be like that day. When there’s no telling whether waking up and getting dressed will be simple that morning or whether it will feel like your throat is closing and your chest is on fire. You’re brave for knowing there’s a chance you’re going to struggle, but deciding that you aren’t going to let your anxiety get in the way of important opportunities. You’re brave for realizing you’re strong enough to endure. You’ve been through this before. You can go through it again. It isn’t going to be easy, but none of your life has been easy, so you know you have what it takes to push through.
You’re brave on the days when you show up with a racing pulse and shaking hands. When you keep going, even though your mind isn’t making it easy for you. And you’re brave on the days you stay in bed, too. On the days when you decide it would be bad for your mental health to leave the house and end up canceling plans even though it’s the last thing you want to do. Making that decision is never easy. There’s always a downside. Sure, staying home might lower your anxiety for a while, but you’ll have to deal with people who are disappointed that you bailed – and your own disappointment about missing out on something that could have been fun.
You’re brave for handling your anxiety in the moments it makes sense and the moments it has you confused. You’re brave for trusting you’re going to get through this even when you have swirling self-doubts. Most of all, you’re brave for admitting your struggles to others, for reaching out to a trusted friend or therapist for help. You’re brave for learning how to survive on your worst days and being able to thrive on your best days.
You’re brave, even when you don’t realize it – and most of the time, you won’t realize it. You’re accustomed to living with anxiety. This is normal for you. You aren’t sure exactly how other people feel on a daily basis because you’ve only been inside your body, your mind. You can’t compare your experience to anyone else’s, but trust that you are braver than you feel. Your anxiety can tell you a lot of lies – and one of the biggest is that you aren’t fun enough, smart enough, pretty enough, interesting enough. But you are doing so much better than you realize. You aren’t giving yourself nearly enough credit, considering what you deal with every single day.
There’s a new holiday romance movie in town, and it’s currently number one on Netflix.
We’re talking about the loveably ridiculous Netflix original Christmas movie, Hot Frosty. You can take that title literally. In this fun-to-not-take-seriously rom-com, Lacey Chabert (of Mean Girls fame, which the this movie doesn’t let you forget), puts a red scarf on a hot snowman, which brings him to life.
Of course, as I watched Hot Frosty last night, I couldn’t help but think of all the other loveable holiday characters. Who would I want to adorn with a magical red scarf to turn them into a sexy version I can fall in love with? Who should get their own Hot Frosty-style movie? Let’s play a little game of “What if?”
Hot Abominable SnowmanThis seems like a no brainer. When “Jack” turns into a human in Hot Frosty, he’s this muscled, veiny, magazine model type. But what about those of us who prefer the dad bod? Enter the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964). He’s hairy, he’s huggable, and he’s misunderstood–a triple threat.
Hot KrampusSome of us prefer the curmudgeon over the affable, smiling simpleton. What about Krampus? Sure, he’s essentially a craggy old monster–especially if we’re talking about the 2015 horror movie version–but this red scarf has magical powers. Maybe it’ll turn this anti-Santa into the kind of hot guy who seems like he hates everything and everyone and then suddenly gives you the most thoughtful gift you’ve ever gotten. (Hot Krampus is also for the people who live by the ill-advised motto, “I can fix him.”)
Hot Jack SkellingtonYou throw a magical red scarf around Jack Skellington’s bony neck and what do you get? The kind of emo-goth that is inexplicably hopeful and positive. He’s simultaneously wearing black skinny jeans and volunteering to walk dogs at the local animal shelter. Basically a walking, talking Hot Topic. And he can sing. You really can’t get much hotter than that.
Hot Elf on the ShelfThis is for the moms who painstakingly create elaborate scenes for their kids every night to make them think that their Elf on the Shelf is moving around the house. Now imagine he comes to life and is a hot man who just really loves making Christmas magical. He loves kids and he’s mischievous. Sure, you’d be sick of him by Boxing Day, but that’s when you take off the scarf and pack him up again for next year.
Hot Marshmallow PeepsOkay, hear me out. We needed something for Easter and I feel like the Easter Bunny is too obvious. Plus, Peeps have become a sugary treat for every holiday, so you could watch Hot Marshmallow Peeps all year ’round. How will Peeps be sexy? Good question. Um…he’ll be soft, sweet, and incredibly polarizing. Some of your friends will hate him and some will love him, and everyone will just have to agree to disagree.
Who doesn’t like a worthwhile mystery every now and again?
Consistently challenging us from an intellectual standpoint, mystery movies force us to put on our thinking caps and pay close attention to its unfolding plot line, keeping track of who’s who, who’s hiding what, and who’s pretending to be someone else. In a film where every line of dialogue bears significant weight on its narrative’s outcome, mystery movies allow us to test out our problem-solving skills from the comfort and safety of the theater.
Of course, it’s hard to find a more formidable challenge than a classic whodunit film. Presenting an eccentric cast of characters, a largely limited setting, and an ample number of twists and turns throughout, whodunit movies have a way of exercising viewers’ observational abilities from the moment the opening credits begin to roll. From beloved literary adaptations to modern comedic mysteries, here are some of our favorite whodunit films, ranked in order from worst to best.
The Last of Sheila (1973)Warner Bros.By the late 1940s, the formulaic whodunit genre had all but withered away. While the following decades saw a scarce supply of memorable mystery films, an unforgettable murder mystery occasionally arrived in theaters, as seen with 1973’s wholly underrated The Last of Sheila. Retaining the tried-and-true tropes associated with a classic whodunit plot line, The Last of Sheila cleverly weaved in more adult themes stemming from its darker plot, influencing numerous future filmmakers like Edgar Wright and Rian Johnson in the years ahead.
Gosford Park (2001)Entertainment Film DistrubutorsOne of the final films of the legendary director Robert Altman, Gosford Park spells out another fantastic genre piece from the filmmaker behind Nashville, MASH, and McCabe & Mrs. Miller. Adopting the premise and setting of a traditional parlor house mystery, Gosford Park uses its whodunit plot line to examine the class disparity in 1930s Great Britain. A stylistic precursor of sorts to Downton Abbey*, it’s a fascinating drama that’s hilarious, intelligent, and wholly original throughout, standing tall as a mystery film that Agatha Christie herself might wholeheartedly approve of.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)A24Often touted as Gen Z’s answer to Scream, Bodies Bodies Bodies offers a wonderfully humorous look at today’s youth culture. Trapping its main characters in a hurricane-rocked Florida mansion, Bodies Bodies Bodies finds a way to gradually increase its tension throughout, even as it doubles down on its perverse humor. At once startlingly funny and at times shockingly suspenseful, it’s among A24’s best releases to date, and almost assuredly among the greatest whodunit films of the past decade.
Scream (1996)DimensionYes, yes, it’s probably more accurate to categorize Scream as a slasher film than as an outright whodunit. But it’s hard to ignore the underlying mystery prevalent in this 1996 Wes Craven horror film. Forcing audiences to pay close attention to Ghostface’s potential identity, Scream is as riveting a whodunit as Agatha Christie’s best mysteries, complete with numerous homages to pre-existing horror franchises like Halloween and Friday the 13th.
Clue (1985)Paramount PicturesIn no uncertain terms, Clue is the best board game adaptation ever made. While the competition for that title is admittedly underdeveloped, this 1985 cult classic comedy is perfectly deserving of its favorable reputation today. Tossing together some of the ‘80s’ most energetic character actors under one shared roof, Clue unfolds with the speed and energy of a vintage Looney Tunes short – with many of the characters as unforgettably wacky and cartoonish as their two-dimensional Warner Bros. counterparts.
Knives Out (2019)NetflixHaving grown up watching practically every whodunit movie previously mentioned, Rian Johnson channeled his love for the genre into his 2019 tour de force, Knives Out (along with its two sequels, Glass Onion and the upcoming Wake Up Dead Man). Assembling a talented cast of A-list actors, Johnson also weaved in liberal inspiration from Agatha Christie’s Poirot novels, especially in regards to Poirot’s Southern counterpart, Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig). Jetting along with the meteoric speed as Murder on the Orient Express or Death on the Nile, it’s among the finest whodunit films in recent memory.
Murder on the Orient Express (1974)Anglo-EMI Film DistributorsShe may not have created the genre, but few writers remain as closely attached to the whodunit vehicle than Agatha Christie. As an extension of her impressive contributions to the literary landscape, audiences continue to associate Christie with her numerous TV and movie adaptations, starting with the 1974 classic, Murder on the Orient Express. Incorporating an all-star lineup of noteworthy ‘70s actors, Murder on the Orient Express serves as a sensational take on Christie’s most recognizable Hercule Poirot story, standing tall as the definitive entry in the entire whodunit genre.
In case you’re feeling a little sad, confused, or scared these days due to gestures vaguely, we’ve got a tip for you.
Sometimes, the best treatment for negative feelings is to just ignore them! Drown yourself in listicles; add more movies to My List; eat a whole box of Cheez-Its. Incidentally, I’m also describing the semester in college when I took Organic Chemistry.
On the other hand, it might also help to look into activism opportunities. While you may feel powerless, you still have power in your words and actions. Use them. As Ovid once wrote, “Drops of water carve out stone.” Time and persistence effect change; punches don’t move mountains. That said, you should also read listicles! Here are some fictional activists who might inspire you to rise up and create change with your bad self.
Starr Carter in The Hate U Give20th Century FoxIn this book-turned-movie, a sixteen-year-old named Starr Carter sees police shoot her unarmed best friend. While she starts the story as an anonymous witness, she eventually realizes that she can’t remain silent any longer and goes public with her testimony, becoming an activist in the process. In fighting for what’s right, Starr inspires readers and viewers to push back against racism, police brutality, and social injustice.
Zorro in Zorro, Zorro, and Zorro (There are like 50 Zorro movies)The Mask of Zorro / TriStar PicturesZorro is not just a sexy 1998 romance-thriller featuring the hottest brunettes of the ‘90s. It’s also a tale about a sexy, romantic activist who speaks truth to power. By defending the common people of Los Angeles during the early 19th century, Zorro takes names and raises hell. He also moves the needle ever so slightly to the left, Robin Hood-ing rich Spaniards and delivering power to the people. We might need more of that kind of energy in the coming years.
MagnetoX-Men: Days of Future Past / 20th Century FoxListen, I know that we’re supposed to consider Magneto the “villain” of the X-men franchise due to his hatred of humans. However, if the X-Men stories are a metaphor for contemporary politics, and the “humans” are stand-ins for the racists, misogynists, and homophobes taking away our rights, then Magneto is the goddamned hero. Magneto might go to extreme measures sometimes, but he also doesn’t stand idly by as humans systematically dismantle his personal liberties. Under totalitarian dictatorship, who would you put your weight behind – the guy who nearly dumped a football stadium onto the White House? Or the man who can read the mind of a random person in Utah?
Nathan and Sean in BPMMemento FilmsThough fictional, this French film follows the very real activists who fought for queer rights during the AIDS crisis in France. As they stage demonstrations, decry ignorance, and eradicate hate, the central pair – Nathan and Sean – must contend with the trials and tribulations of love. BPM is a titillating, poignant film that will inspire you to find joy in the dreariest of places.
Lisa SimpsonThe Simpsons / FoxAre you surprised she’s on this list? Her gig as the first female President of the United States is already a meme. She’s the O.G. feminist freedom fighter; she has about 50 different causes. Her list of activist stints includes: founding an entire newspaper to protect freedom of speech; rescuing an entire building of puppies to shield them from euthanasia; sleeping on a tree to save the environment; rallying her classmates against climate change; and raising her voice against media portrayals of women. She may be a joke, but she’s a serious one; and if she can do all that, then you can, too.
Maud Watts in SuffragetteFocus FeaturesSuffragette tells the inspirational story of a woman who succeeds in life despite having the name Maud Watts. It’s also about voting equality and the women’s rights movement or whatever, and stars Helena Bonham Carter and Meryl Streep. While Maud’s character may be fictional, the characters and movement surrounding her are not, and Suffragette may just force you off the couch – if only just to cheer.
The Powerpuff GirlsCartoon NetworkYou think I’m joking? In addition to having the powers of flight, super-speed, and super-strength, the Girls also deliver entertaining sermons about feminism. They literally destroy monsters with their woke, city-leveling rampages. Sugar, spice, and everything nice, my ass! Be like the Powerpuff Girls. Destroy Fuzzy Lumpkins. Also: check on your friends, delete X, and volunteer for a food bank.
Ridley Scott’s Gladiator fought its way into cinema history as one of the greatest films of all time. The historical epic ended on a conclusive – albeit sad – note, requiring no further sequel; yet, here we are 24 years later with Gladiator II. Scott returns to guide this follow-up through a colosseum of doubters, but does the film defy the odds to establish itself as a worthy successor to the 2000 original or crumble under the weight of expectation? Mild spoilers for Gladiator II follow.
‘Gladiator II’ walks in its predecessor’s footsteps – for better or worsePaul Mescal’s Lucius Verus leads Gladiator II. Away from Rome and his mother, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), for many years, he lives in Numidia with his wife, Arishat (Yuval Gonen). His peaceful existence ends after the Roman army, led by General Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal), take over Numidia, kill Arishat, and enslave Lucius. The crafty Macrinus, portrayed by Denzel Washington at the peak of his powers, sees potential in Lucius and chooses him as a gladiator to appear in the games orchestrated by the petulant emperors Caracella (Fred Hechinger) and Geta (Joseph Quinn).
Much like the story of Russell Crowe’s Maximus Decimus Meridius, the death of Lucius’ wife breaks his spirit but makes him dangerous. He fights like a warrior with nothing to lose, because he has nothing and dreams only of being reunited with his wife in death. Like Maximus, his journey requires him to find purpose once again while trying to honor the dream that Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris) once had for Rome.
Of course, the cat has been out the bag for a while that Lucius is really Maximus’ son, adding another dimension to the concept of a child fulfilling their parent’s destiny. However, Ridley Scott leans way too heavily into the parallels between Lucius and Maximus. At times, it almost feels like a remake of the original rather than a sequel as Mescal does his best imitations of Crowe. This comes across as aggressive fan service and provides Lucius with a rather unremarkable narrative arc in comparison to his late father.
The pomp and circumstance delightWith a reported production budget of over $300 million, Gladiator II looks the part. Everything is bigger and grander, with no cost spared to turn the film into a larger-than-life spectacle that symbolizes the vanity of the Roman Empire under Caracella and Geta. From sharks to rhinos – though some historians debate the inclusion of these animals in the Colosseum – a good chunk of the budget went into realizing these spectacular animals on screen.
One area in which Gladiator II improves over its predecessors is in the action scenes. Whether it’s the gimmicked contests with the sharks or killer baboons, or technically proficient hand-to-hand affairs, the battles never leave the viewer disappointed as they up the ante of violence. In fact, Gladiator II pushes the brutality level through heads and limbs flying around like it’s the final round of Mortal Kombat.
Combined with this is the grandiose nature of Rome. The enhancements in technology and the bigger budget aid Ridley Scott and cinematographer John Mathieson to give the city its unique personality and make it a character within its own right. Pay close attention to the lighting and color grading of the scenes, as these act as distinct ways to represent the changing moods of Rome in pivotal moments in the story.
Macrinus outshines everyone in a movie in which most characters feel underutilizedIt should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that Denzel Washington chews up every scene as Macrinus. His character’s intentions keep everyone guessing as Washington dances across the spectrum of good and bad. Up until the very end, no one knows how to categorize him. The byproduct of this is that Washington casts a major shadow over his fellow supporting actors.
Gladiator II becomes mostly about Lucius and Macrinus by default, with everyone else disappearing into the background. The biggest disappointment here is Pedro Pascal’s Marcus Acacius. While Pascal plays Acacius with the right tone of being a powerful general jaded by what Rome has become, his character deserved better treatment and evolution in Peter Craig and David Scarpa’s script. Instead, he becomes a narrative means to an end when he could have had a more meaningful role.
This is symbolic of Gladiator II overall. It goes large and loud, but it chooses fan service over progress every single time. Make no mistake about it: It’s a good movie with more pluses than negatives, though it won’t be remembered as a classic like its predecessor. Don’t be surprised if everyone forgets about it within a few weeks’ time.
- You stop limiting yourself. First, the most obvious reason to date outside of your usual type is that you expand your options. You open up your heart to different types of people you probably wouldn’t have considered before if you stuck to your usual list of criteria of what you think you want in a partner.
While you can (and should!) have your non-negotiables such as respect, compassion, and compatible values, you need to be more willing to be flexible on other traits such as what they do for work, their hobbies, and even their personality.
For example, maybe you thought you could only love the life of the party. But in going out with a shy wallflower, you discover your heart has room for all types of people.
You can’t know if you like something if you’ve never tried it, right?
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Attraction sometimes just needs time to flourish.Love at first sight? Not always. Sometimes, romantic attraction just needs a little extra time to grow. After all, we don’t actually know someone the first few weeks of dating. Certain traits take time to come to the surface. If you slow down and enjoy the process of getting to know someone new, you may also find yourself falling for them, too.
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It’s great for personal growth.Dating someone you normally wouldn’t go for is an amazing opportunity for personal growth. In fact, researchers have actually found that when some people look at their relationship, they see their partner for who they could be and support them in becoming that person.
If you only date people you consider “complete” and “perfect” and exactly what you want, there’s no room for growth. This doesn’t mean you both should try and change one another. It just means you help each other reach your highest potential, goals, and more.
- You get out of the unhealthy relationship patterns or romantic ruts you’ve been stuck in. If you’ve only dated people who you consider to be your type time and time again and it’s never worked out? Well, there might be a reason for that.
If you finally allow yourself to be more flexible in who you date, you automatically come into new dating experiences. It’s almost like a reset. You discover that there are so many types of people you can love (you just need to give them a chance).
Your relationship baggage is not your fault. If someone treated you horribly in the past, it makes sense for you to be skeptical in your future relationships. However, you don’t want a bad breakup to ruin your future relationships. Here are some tips on how to overcome your baggage so your next relationship stays healthy:
Accept the mistakes that you’ve made in the past.You can’t keep placing the blame on other people. Even if it’s someone else’s fault that you have trust issues or abandonment issues, you have to take responsibility for the mistakes those issues have caused you to make. You have to accept that you’re imperfect and that you don’t always get it right. You have to own up to your shit. If you keep pretending you don’t have any issues, then you’re never going to overcome them. The first step is being self-aware.
Give yourself the time and space you need to heal.If you get out of a toxic relationship and jump straight into a new one, you might not be prepared to treat this person right. You might end up suspicious of them because of things that your last partner did to you. Sometimes, it’s best to take a short break from relationships, so you can fully heal from your heartbreak. If you’re still obsessed with loving (or hating) your ex, then you might not be able to give this new person a fair chance.
Remember your worth. If your past has caused you to lose confidence, you need to work on self-love. If you think too little of yourself, then you might end up in another relationship where you aren’t being treated right. You need to recognize what you deserve so you never settle for someone beneath you. Even though anyone could get tricked into a toxic relationship, the more you learn to love yourself and stand up for yourself, the easier it will be to stay single until you find someone who really fits you.
Be open about your struggles.If you shut out your future partners, they’re not going to understand certain behaviors. But if you fill them in on why you get so nervous when they hide their phone from you or come home from work later than they promised, then they can start to understand where you’re coming from and can make adjustments. You should never be embarrassed about your past. Anyone who can’t handle your history isn’t right for you. You should be with someone who respects and admires the fact that you’re trying to better yourself.
Put yourself out there again.You can’t let your fear of history repeating itself convince you to stay locked in your shell. The only way you’re going to overcome your fears is by facing them. You need to get back in the dating world when you’re ready and give someone new a shot. It’s okay to keep your walls high at first, but once you find someone you can trust, remember that they’re not the same person who hurt you. Remember that your past is not their fault. Let yourself love. Yes, there’s a chance you’ll end up getting hurt again, but there’s also a chance you’ll find your happily ever after.
Whether you need to cry your eyes out, be distracted by a good laugh, or maybe a bit of both, Reddit has you covered if you’re going through a gnarly breakup. Here are seven of the best movies to watch after a breakup, according to Reddit.
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Forgetting Sarah MarshallForgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) | IMDbforgetting sarah marshall. never fails i promise you.–MichaelRoco1
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The Edge of SeventeenThe Edge of Seventeen (2016) | IMDbEdge of Seventeen is my comfort film! So stinking amazing.–vaporlux
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Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless MindEternal Sunshine of the Spotless MindFeel like this one and Eternal Sunshine are two sides of the same coin. One gets you to miss the good stuff in what you thought was a bad relationship and the other gets you to admit the bad things about what you thought was a perfect relationship. Both are simultaneously heartbreaking, but hopeful.–lemurgetsatreat
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About TimeAbout Time (2013) | IMDbAbout time” works for me if I need to cry or feel good.–GoodElk7766
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Someone GreatSomeone Great (2019) | IMDbThere’s a movie on Netflix called someone great. It’s the woman who got dumped but I feel like it’s a good breakup movie no matter what.–mooplesyrup1
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Celeste & Jesse ForeverCeleste & Jessie Forever (2012) | IMDbThere’s a movie with Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones called Celeste and Jesse Forever and it’s sort of an anti-rom com? I felt it was a realistic break up movie and where nothing crazy happens people just drift apart and move on and work on themselves and move up in life. I saw it after a breakup not knowing what it was about and felt better about my situation.–FFS-For-FoxBats-Sake
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High FidelityHigh Fidelity (2000) | IMDbHigh Fidelity. That’s the one, seriously. It provides such deep insight on break ups and perspectives in relationships and it does so in a way that in hilarious and unique. Highly recommend to anyone.–boodabomb
Here are David Lynch’s best movies, ranked in order from worst to best.
It’s not an exaggeration to claim that the world has yet to see a director as unfailingly original as David Lynch. A prolific writer, director, musician, and avant garde creative thinker, Lynch’s unrivaled artistic energy has informed many of his foremost works, ushering in such unforgettable movies and TV shows as Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive, and Twin Peaks. Quite possibly the most celebrated surrealist to break into mainstream cinema, Lynch’s films continue to delight, terrify, and confound viewers of countless generations, awarding Lynch momentous praise for his influential contributions to the entertainment medium.
From introspective biopics to experimental psychological horror movies, here are several David Lynch movies we heartily recommend checking out, ranked in order from worst to best.
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The Straight Story (1999)Buena VistaIt’s ironic to think that one of David Lynch’s overall best films also happens to be his most uncharacteristically normal. Rather than incorporating macabre or unsettling visuals, Lynch instead focuses on the factual story of Alvin Straight, an Iowa farmer who journeyed cross-country on the back of his trusty lawnmower. A rare feelgood story from Lynch, The Straight Story nevertheless demonstrated Lynch’s zeal for handling a diverse range of subject matter, from the strange and unusual to the comic and family-friendly (as seen here).
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Wild at Heart (1990)The Samuel Goldwyn CompanyEven by David Lynch’s standards, Wild at Heart is a wild ride of a movie. Infusing a wide array of influences into its overarching narrative, Wild at Heart appears as a nightmarish cross between The Wizard of Oz, ‘50s Elvis musicals, and lovers-on-the-run stories like Bonnie and Clyde or Natural Born Killers. Perversely funny one moment yet nauseatingly terrifying in the next, it’s bizarre thematic tone bears all the hallmarks of a stereotypical David Lynch film, from its random musical numbers to its occasional surrealist segues.
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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)New Line CinemaWhen it first arrived in theaters in 1992, most diehard fans of Twin Peaks expressed heartbroken disappointment at Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me’s ambiguous narrative and … less than well-written dialogue. In the decades since, Fire Walk with Me has become a pivotal landmark in Twin Peaks’ larger universe, significantly tying into the continuity of the belated Twin Peaks: The Return. With critical reviews having significantly warmed in recent years, many longtime viewers have reappraised Fire Walk with Me with renewed appreciation, citing its once panned ambiguity as the movie’s ultimate strength.
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The Elephant Man (1980)Paramount PicturesIn many ways, David Lynch was the ideal director to handle a project as potentially disastrous as 1980’s The Elephant Man. A gut-wrenching biopic centered around the life and death of Joseph Merrick, Lynch managed to create an endearing portrait about Merrick the man, rather than gratuitously focusing on his historical subject’s physical deformities. The results give way to a movie of luminous beauty and impactful emotion, juxtaposing Merrick’s wondrously kind soul with his monstrous treatment in Victorian England.
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Eraserhead (1977)Libra FilmsThe feature-length debut for Lynch, Eraserhead also lives on as one of the most influential films of the 1970s. The crown jewel of the contemporary midnight movie circuit, Lynch introduced a newfound level of experimental surrealism with his work on Eraserhead, leaving audiences wracked with unease from its opening credits to its closing moments. Posing far more questions as it does answers, Eraserhead cemented Lynch as a visionary young director to watch out for by the close of the ‘70s (something that became all the more apparent by the start of the next decade).
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Blue Velvet (1986)De Laurentiis Entertainment GroupBlue Velvet might not have been Lynch’s first film, but it is the movie that launched him to glorious new heights in the film industry. Rebounding from the critical failure of 1984’s Dune, Lynch set his sights on a film he felt more comfortable making, returning him to the darker roots of Eraserhead and The Elephant Man. Sprinkling together surrealism, ‘50s noir, small-town suburbia, and steamier eroticism into one tightly-wound package, Lynch conjured up one of the most visually striking and narratively arresting films of the 1980s with Blue Velvet.
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Mulholland Drive (2001)Universal PicturesA return to form for Lynch following the mixed reception of his late ‘90s work, Mulholland Drive is quite possibly among the most original films Lynch has ever created (an assessment that, when compared to Eraserhead, isn’t meant to be taken lightly). Alternating between several branching storylines – each more enigmatic than the last – Lynch brilliantly explores the darker side of the film industry with Mulholland Drive, illustrating the ethereal divide between the Hollywood of our dreams and the Hollywood of our deepest nightmares. An ambitious neo-noir mystery marked by Lynch’s signature dose of surrealism, it’s a claustrophobic horror thriller the likes of which audiences had never seen before – and have yet to see since.
Prime Video’s Cross is the small screen adaptation that Alex Cross and James Patterson fans should all get behind.
Prime Video’s Cross sees Aldis Hodge step into the role of James Patterson’s iconic detective Alex Cross. It’s not the first – or even second – time that the character has been adapted into live action, and many people wonder if Hodge’s version will meet the same unceremonious fate as his predecessors. However, this Alex Cross has something in his favor that none of the others had before: The right medium.
Morgan Freeman’s Alex Cross was great, but it was always a short-term dealMorgan Freeman stars as Alex Cross in 1997’s Kiss the Girls and 2001’s Along Came a Spider. Both films amassed respectable hauls at the box office, making over $165 million worldwide, even though critics deemed them stinkers. Well, reviewers be damned because those movies have become must-watch thrillers and possess incredible rewatchability. To this day, it’s impossible to turn off the television when they’re on because they’re that captivating.
A major reason for this is down to Freeman’s portrayal of the famous detective. He captures the human element of Cross that resonates, imbuing him with an empathy and likability that differentiate him from every other stereotypical gumshoe. Coupled with the fact that Freeman is such a beloved and renowned actor, this was a match made in Hollywood heaven.
However, these films were released in a time in which the movie business wasn’t as obsessed with turning everything into a franchise as it is now. If a movie did well, a sequel would materialize organically and so forth. Resultantly, the contracts weren’t as watertight as they are now where actors sign away their lives for decades on end. In terms of Freeman, he’s a megastar and in demand, so it wasn’t a case that he’d be sitting around if and when the studio decided to greenlight another Alex Cross project. Any plans would need to be worked around his busy schedule.
While there were talks about a third film starring Freeman, they were scrapped in favor of a reboot, featuring Tyler Perry as the eponymous character in 2012’s Alex Cross. History repeated itself as this film received a critical beatdown; however, it did one thing different: It made much less money than its predecessors, topping out at just over $34 million. At this point, Hollywood realized it faced a severe Cross dilemma that plagued other literary heroes. The good news is the solution wasn’t too difficult to figure out.
Books translate better as series than moviesWhat do Jack Ryan and Jack Reacher have in common? Besides the fact they have had countless books written about them, the pair also featured in films and television series. In both instances, their efforts on the big screen produced mixed results. While the action strikes a chord with a certain demographic, one can’t shake off the feeling that something is missing – and it is.
Ryan and Reacher succeed on the small screen because the format of a series not only allows for better character development, but it also enables the adapted storylines time to breathe and cover more. Let’s say the average novel for either hero is 400 pages in length. For a film, this would need to be cut down into 100 to 120 pages of script. While the movie allows for a lot of the descriptive details to be shown – removing blocks of text – that still requires the filmmakers to condense a story into around a quarter of its original size. Consequently, this means subplots and other elements need to be cut down in order to meet a reasonable runtime that satisfies studios and theaters.
It’s no surprise then that book fans almost always complain how a movie is inferior to the novel because of how much is lost in adaptation – and they aren’t wrong. The same can be said about Alex Cross. Each book features a twisty mystery that teaches the character something valuable about himself that he carries forward in his next adventure. It’s tough for a movie to encapsulate all of that in two hours without feeling like a CliffNotes version of the source material, whereas a series affords several hours for the storyline and characters to develop and to dig deeper into various subplots. It’s a no-brainer which option is better.
‘Cross’ lets a wider world be builtCross promises to explore the effects of the murder of Alex Cross’ wife and how this changes him as a father, friend, and dedicated professional. He works harder to find out who commits crimes and why they do it, as he develops an obsession to prevent others from experiencing what he has gone through. It’s a baseline DNA that lets the series, as well as the character, grow. Instead of only having two hours to find out who Cross is and let him solve a murder, the audience embarks on a longer journey with the character that shows all facets of his life.
Prime Video appears to be convinced about the potential of Cross, too, handing it a second season renewal before the show even debuted on the streaming service. Considering all the James Patterson novels at hand, there’s the chance to do something big and long lasting with this character. Of course, nothing is ever certain in the world of showbiz and cancellations happen because of outrageous events like tax write-offs, but make no mistake: Alex Cross doesn’t ever need a movie again, because a show like Cross is the only way to truly represent this remarkable detective and his brilliant mind.
If we’re likely getting a Season 2, then why haven’t we begun wildly speculating on this hit show already? Let’s get to it!
I am in mourning. For starters, there’s that thing that happened on November 5th; but on top of that, there’s the fact that Agatha All Along has ended. Mind you, I haven’t watched a Marvel TV show since Loki Season 1, but from what I understand, Agatha All Along has improved upon everything that arrived in the interim. As Agatha Harkness, Kathryn Hahn has once again managed to make evil look good, whereas AAA’s incredible supporting cast brought laughs and lore aplenty. I mean, this show stars Patti Freakin’ LuPone. Also gay stuff. Suck it, Project 2025.
However, it isn’t time to mourn just yet, because AAA’s showrunner Jac Schaeffer recently refused to tell The Wrap whether or not a Season 2 was out of the question. Meanwhile, Agatha All Along has been submitted to the Emmys as a Comedy instead of a Limited Series, indicating that its life span may not be limited, either. That said, if we’re likely getting a Season 2, then why haven’t we begun wildly speculating on this hit show already? Let’s get to it!
Here are our 5 unhinged predictions.
*spoilers, obviously****
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Agatha launches a successful black market ghost trafficking ring One of the biggest reveals of the two-part Agatha All Along season finale was that the Road never existed. Agatha had invented it to trap witches and absorb their power, murdering them, and Billy had been creating an imaginary Road using his own preconceptions, memories, and Chaos Magic. (Sidenote: It’s a testament to Kathryn Hahn’s performance that we didn’t unequivocally hate Agatha after learning that she’s a full-fledged, murderous sociopath.) That said, Agatha wouldn’t be Agatha without her sarcastic quips and adorably psychopathic behavior, so be on the lookout for another complex scam in Season 2. That said, now that Agatha is a ghost, she’ll likely set her sights on other ghosts, defrauding them of their ectoplasm and selling it on Amazon. All she’ll have to do is claim that there’s a Ghost Road where the winner gets to do lines with the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith. The naïve ghosts will attend in droves.
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Billy’s boyfriend Eddie is teased to be Hulkling for the entire season, only to become another dumb punWhile Billy’s boyfriend Eddie (Miles Gutierrez-Riley) is just a normal queer human in Agatha All Along, he is actually a normal queer superhuman in Marvel Comics – Hulkling, to be exact. It’s true! I accidentally saw Wiccan and Hulkling make out in the comics once when I did a Google Image Search for “Chris Evans gay.” Just look up “In the Name of the Honeymoon” written by Tini Howard. In any case, the creators of Agatha All Along had actually planned to make Eddie into Hulkling, but backed off at the last minute. That said, considering what WandaVision did with Ralph Bohner (Evan Peters), there’s nothing stopping the Agatha All Along braniacs from making us think that Eddie is Hulkling, only to reveal at the last minute that he’s just a regular guy named Alfred FartFace. (We’ll also learn that the show’s executive producer is required to let his twelve-year-old son write one joke per season as part of his divorce settlement.)
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Tommy Maximoff’s brother becomes trapped inside the body of Patti LuPoneAt first, Agatha All Along seemed like it was setting up a series focused on Billy Maximoff’s (Joe Locke) Wiccan. At the very least, it seemed to be teasing a tie-in with the Young Avengers. But now that a Season 2 is likely on its way, the show will probably follow up on that cliffhanger involving Billy and Ghost Agatha. Namely, Billy and Ghost Agatha will start searching for Billy’s brother, Tommy, whose soul was transposed into the body of a drowning boy. However, I would argue that if there’s one thing Agatha All Along was missing, it was more Patti LuPone; also, Marvel has rarely left a dead character dead. So, what’s stopping Billy from having an ADHD brain fart mid-soul transfer and accidentally transferring Tommy into Patti LuPone? And I don’t mean LuPone’s character, Lilia. I’m talking about actual Patti LuPone. Season 2 of Agatha All Along will open with LuPone belting out “The Ladies Who Lunch” in the Vietnam touring production of Company, only to suddenly become possessed by a nine-year-old boy mid-song and crave FunDip.
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Agatha’s coven returns from the dead and kills her againWhat do both MCU characters and the residents of Pyke in Game of Thrones have in common? What is dead may never die. Characters in the MCU simply don’t stay dead, even when other characters stress that they’re “very dead” and “not coming back, ever.” Thus, I don’t believe for a second that we’ll never see Sharon Davis (Debra Jo Rupp), Alice Wu-Gulliver (Ali Ahn), or Lilia Calderu (Patti LuPone) again. Their ghosts will join the living Jen Kale (Sasheer Zamata) and exact revenge upon Agatha for ruining their lives, then throw a party with the ghosts of Iron Man, Black Widow, and several cat-people who blew up at the end of The Marvels.
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We learn that the entire second Trump presidency was an illusion created by Billy Maximoff’s mindAnd queer people’s rights were never taken away, and everyone lived happily ever after.
Date someone who is capable of compromising with you, who will sit down and have a mature conversation when you need to overcome a certain problem. Date someone who would rather solve whatever is bugging you instead of getting defensive and redistributing the blame. Date someone who is willing to put in the work that a healthy relationship requires to thrive.
Date someone who works well with you, who is able to cooperate and communicate clearly. Date someone who understands the way you think and complements your ideas with their own, someone who helps you grow while you help them grow. Date someone who wants what’s best for the both of you instead of thinking selfishly.
Date someone who allows you to be honest with them, who would never roll their eyes or tease you about sharing your emotions. You should feel comfortable coming to each other with any problems, achievements, fears, and dreams that you have. You should be on the same page about what you want – and that’s to see each other happy.
There are so many moments in a relationship when you’re going to be forced to work as a team, whether it’s deciding where you’re going to eat dinner that night, where you’re going to travel on vacation, what home you’re going to buy, or which pet you’re going to adopt. You need to trust that this person is interested in working beside you because if one of you is making all the decisions and forcing the other one to follow along, resentment is going to grow. A team requires two people. There isn’t supposed to be a boss. There’s supposed to be two equals who respect and admire each other.
You don’t want to stay with someone who makes you feel stupid, who disrespects your ideas, who assumes they’re smarter than you. You want someone who is willing to work with you because you have strengths they lack and vice versa. You want someone who is willing to hear what you have to say and expresses their own feelings clearly.
Date someone who supports your wildest dreams and ambitions. Someone who encourages you to pursue opportunities and gives you pep talks when old doubts start to creep into your mind. Date someone who believes you’re going to reach success and pushes you to accept opportunities, but never pressures you into doing something that you don’t want to do. Date someone who will always have your back.
Your person is supposed to be your biggest supporter. They aren’t supposed to hold you back out of fear of losing you or spending less time with you. They should want what’s best for you because they genuinely care about your happiness. They would never dream of asking you to choose them over your passions. They know you’re capable of achieving it all.
Date someone who makes a good teammate because relationships are all about chemistry. They’re about working well together. They’re about being stronger together than you are on your own.
In a dating culture that both thrives on non-commitment as well as our collective fear of dying utterly and completely alone, it only makes sense that situationships have become so common. And honestly, these contradicting ideas have us all absolutely fucked in the head.
Just think about it. Situationships are a means of taming loneliness without having to give up independence or the chance of finding something “better.” Situationships also give the illusion of intimacy. You’re doing couple-esque things together like going on dates, having sex, and engaging in deep and emotionally-rich discussions, but without being exclusive to one another.
In a way, situationships are supposed to function as a sort of vulnerability insurance. You can’t lose what you never had, right? You technically can’t get your heart broken if you never even dated or mentioned you wanted something from the other person, right? And you can’t fully fall if you always had one foot out the door anyway, right?
Right?
No. Because if these things are true, if situationships actually protected us from getting hurt, then why is there still so much pain when a situationship ends and throughout one? If situationships really worked, why is everyone so bitter about modern dating?
Exactly. And yet, we still keep engaging in situationships because we claim it’s better than being alone. We tell ourselves that we don’t actually care about them that much, even though seeing them makes our day. We say we aren’t hurting when we see them talk to someone else at the bar, as if simply saying so will make it true.
It’s bullshit.
The ugly truth about situationships is that they make us all into cowardly, emotionally bankrupt liars who are afraid to tell someone when we like them. But worst of all, situationships make us lie to ourselves and doubt our own hearts. There’s nothing honorable about that.
If you want to find lasting love, you need to take a chance. You need to risk getting turned down. You need to put everything on the line and accept the uncertainty that is falling for someone else. You need to be brave. You need to ask for what you want and be okay when someone else isn’t able to give you what you need.
You deserve more than a situationship. Act like it.
Tom Cruise proved the world wrong as Lestat in 1994’s Interview with the Vampire.
Vampires ate good in the ’90s. From Bram Stoker’s Dracula to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Blade, and Interview with the Vampire, the decade loved the fang-tastic mythological monsters with a penchant for blood. In 1994, Neil Jordan’s Interview with the Vampire – based on Anne Rice’s 1976 novel – invited its way into cinemas. The star-studded cast featured Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, Christian Slater, Thandiwe Newton, and a young Kirsten Dunst. However, it was the casting of Cruise as the vampire Lestat de Lioncourt that drew puzzled questions from both fans and the movie industry.
At the time Cruise was known for films such as Top Gun, Risky Business, Rain Man, and A Few Good Men. He seesawed between action and drama as he confirmed himself as one of Hollywood’s most coveted leading men and a bona fide A-lister. But could he play a vampire from an Anne Rice novel? No one saw it, including the author herself. It seemed like the type of casting mandated by a studio to sell more tickets and attract more publicity for a film that cost $60 million – a bucket load for a vampire flick in the ’90s.
Anne Rice didn’t believe in Tom Cruise as Lestat de LioncourtBefore Neil Jordan’s Interview with the Vampire, the book-to-film adaptation turned down many roads that led to several dead ends. As the author, Anne Rice provided input to anyone who asked her about who she would like to see bring her fabled story to life. Rice saw Ridley Scott as the right auteur and wanted his Blade Runner collaborator Rutger Hauer as Lestat. Hollywood sprinkled holy water all over this plan and when Jordan boarded the project, Hauer was seen as too old to portray Lestat.
Between Jordan and producer David Geffen, they decided on Tom Cruise, seeing him as young and attractive enough to convince as the immortal and charming vampire. Plus, it also helped that he had serious star power. Rice, though, didn’t see it working, telling Movieline in 1994 that Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Peter Weller, and even Brad Pitt would have all been better suited as Lestat than Cruise. She said:
“The Tom Cruise casting is so bizarre, it’s almost impossible to imagine how it’s going to work, and it’s really almost impossible to imagine how Neil and David and Tom could have come up with it. I have one question: Does Tom Cruise have any idea of what he’s getting into? I’m not sure he does. I’m not sure he’s read any of the books other than the first one, and his comments on TV that he wanted to do something scary and he loved ‘creature features’ as a kid, well, that didn’t make me feel any better.”
Rice didn’t have much faith in the film as a result; however, her tune changed after she watched Interview with the Vampire. She praised and endorsed the film, including Cruise’s performance. As per the Los Angeles Times, Geffen said: “[Anne] even phoned [Tom] up and told him she was wrong. It’s a great thing when someone who had been critical of a movie saw it, loved it and admitted she was wrong … a very classy thing to do.” Cruise confirmed the phone call, too.
Interview with the Vampire showed a different side of Tom CruiseAnne Rice’s greatest fear was that Tom Cruise would treat Lestat as a straight-up evil villain – and not as the complex character he is. However, he proved her wrong with his understanding of the vampire and his intentions. At its core, the relationship between Lestat and Louis de Pointe du Lac is about codependency. While there’s infatuation and even traces of love between the characters, both of them can’t quit each other when it’s clear they are on a one-stop trip to destruction.
Due to the era in which the film was released and the backlash it would have faced in 1994, Interview with the Vampire doesn’t lean into the queer element of the story too much. The subtext remains that vampires view sexuality as fluid and Lestat and Louis form an obvious bond; however, Cruise and Brad Pitt capture this aspect of the story with a subtle but clear knowingness of who their characters are. Anyone who was familiar with the source material knew exactly what the nature of their relationship would have been.
Cruise layers his performance with a gamut of emotion and complexities. Lestat possesses the ability to be charming, dangerous, intelligent, kind, and irrational in equal measures, and there’s often an inner conflict within the vampire about his controversial actions. He wrestles with embracing the nature of the vampire and the soul of humanity. Cruise gets this, showcasing a character with power beyond anyone’s dreams but also longing for companionship and someone to share it with.
Throughout his career, Cruise built up a reputation of playing the unequivocal hero of the story, but Interview with the Vampire offered him the chance to portray the antihero. Lestat is a three-dimensional character capable of blurring the lines between good and bad, depending on the situation and cause. The performance informed the world that Cruise was no one-trick pony.
The film opened the door for the actor to spread his acting wingsIf it wasn’t for Interview with the Vampire, it’s tough to imagine Tom Cruise securing the most interesting roles of his career later on. Lestat demonstrated how he can climb into the coffin and walk out someone different, enabling him to turn into the entertaining and Hollywood-satirical Les Grossman in Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder. His ability to teeter between good and bad also opened the door for him to play the morally ambiguous assassin Vincent in Michael Mann’s Collateral – arguably one of the most underrated performances of his career.
The role of Lestat was a gamble – because it could have had a detrimental effect on the actor’s career had the film flopped. For Cruise, though, he didn’t see any danger in saying yes to Interview with the Vampire. Instead, he saw it as “a challenge,” as he told Esquire in 1994. “He’s not a bad guy, he just has villainous aspects to him,” Cruise said. “From his point of view, he’s right. He’s really a terribly lonely character.” In retrospect, it’s a mystery why anyone doubted Cruise’s ability to bare both his teeth and soul as Lestat. As the vampire said: “One thing is true for us all, we grow stronger as we go along.”
For those excited about the film adaptation of Wicked, these are what we must see from the original Broadway musical.
October may have been the season of the witch, but November is the season of the Wicked Witch of the West–known also as Elphaba. With the release of Wicked in theaters worldwide, moviegoers who may not have had the opportunity or interest to see Wicked live will finally be introduced to one of the world’s best origin stories.
While some people will learn the story of how Elphaba became the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz for the first time, musical theater fans will have a lot of opinions about the film. From the initially controversial casting of Ariana Grande as Galinda to splitting the story into two films, we’re already worried about if the film will honor the original Stephen Schwarz musical. So here are seven moments the Wicked film needs to include from the musical.
Galinda’s Bubble EntranceIn the musical, Galinda first appears by giant bubble, reminiscent of Wicked’s inspiration, The Wizard of Oz. The entrance lays out the storytelling mechanic from Galinda’s perspective as she tells the truth about who Elphaba really was. While her iconic bubble entrance (which may seem more impressive on stage than on screen) doesn’t seem essential to the story of Wicked, it brings the audience in by showing we know the same amount about Elphaba as the citizens of Oz. Thematically, this is significant because it brings in the idea that there is always more beneath the surface of those who may seem “wicked.”
“Something Bad” and Elphaba’s Tutelage Under Dr. DillamondWhile most Wicked fans probably wouldn’t say that “Something Bad” is their favorite song, it underpins the greater societal and political issues happening in Oz. The ominous tone of it along with Elphaba’s passion for animal rights clue us into how Elphaba could meet her downfall. While “something bad” is happening to the animals in Oz, “something bad” will happen to Elphaba for caring so deeply about an unpopular cause amongst those in power.
The Final “Defying Gravity” Riff and MagicJust before intermission in the musical, Elphaba becomes a version of the “Wicked Witch” we’re familiar with as she takes ahold of a broomstick. Onstage, she seems to truly fly, with her billowing black dress and the Ozians below her, trying to literally and figuratively “bring her down.” Idina Menzel, who originated the role of Elphaba, created the iconic riff in the final moments of the song that any musical theater kid could recall at the drop of a hat. While various actors who have played Elphaba on Broadway and the National Tour have taken creative liberties with the final riff (and we expect Cynthia Erivo to do the same), it needs to induce the same chills we feel while watching and hearing it live.
Mirroring “One Short Day” and “The Merry Ole Land of Oz”Wicked isn’t just a perennial musical because of its storytelling, character development, catchy expertly sung tunes, choreography, extravagant sets, or even its household named stars. It all ties back to L. Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz, which was adapted into the 1939(TK?) film starring Judy Garland as Dorothy, the first film to use color(?). All of Wicked takes place “over the rainbow” and in the song, “One Short Day,” Elphaba and Galinda are introduced to the same Emerald City that Dorothy visits in the initial story.
In Wicked, not only do the music and lyrics of “One Short Day” harken back to Dorothy’s discovery of the Emerald City, but the choreography and reveal of how majestic it is are also nods to the original story. And in both versions, the Wizard is revered above all else, showing how his legacy as a seemingly omniscient leader could lead to the characters’ downfalls.
The Wizard and “A Sentimental Man”Now that we know Jeff Goldblum is playing the Wizard of Oz in Wicked, we want as much of him on the screen as possible. He has two big numbers: “A Sentimental Man” and “TKTK.” While both songs show that he’s not necessarily as all-loving as initially portrayed, “A Sentimental Man” gives us a bit of his backstory and makes it that much more upsetting when he betrays Elphaba. He sings the song to strike an emotional chord with her only to later turn against her when she speaks up for what she believes in. Not only that, but the song shows his underlying desire to be a father. He eventually learns that he was Elphaba’s father, but didn’t actually give her the unconditional love he vowed to give his hypothetical child.
The Foreshadowing for the Scarecrow, Tinman, and LionOne of the best things about Wicked is the feeling of satisfaction at the end when the story comes full circle with its origin. We not only learn how Elphaba became the Wicked Witch of the West and how Galinda took the name Galinda instead, but we also learn about how the Scarecrow, Tinman, and Lion came to be. But it’s the foreshadowing that makes their transformation extra satisfying. Long before Fiyero becomes the Scarecrow, he sings, “Life’s more painless when you’re brainless,” hinting at his future lack of brains.
“For Good” and the Final Moments Between Elphaba and GalindaIn Act II, which may not make the cut of the first Wicked film, Elphaba and Galinda’s relationship comes to a head when they sing “For Good.” While the song doesn’t necessarily push the story forward like “Dancing Through Life” and “No One Mourns the Wicked,” it is an embodiment of emotion that can only be shared through song. A lesser film adaptation might cut some of the slow songs, but “For Good” became an anthem of friendship and growth for musical theater tweens around the world. It also includes Elphaba’s lyric, “I’m limited,” which changes from her first big number, “The Wizard and I,” in which she feels “unlimited.” She has the sad realization that there’s not much she can do for Oz based on how she’s perceived. So, she passes the figurative broomstick to Galinda, who, despite pandering to the whims of those in power, is truly a Good Witch.
Before you take on the world, take a gander at this list of 7 movies that will inspire you to start a revolution.
You may or may not be having a tough couple of weeks, and if you are, it’s totally valid! Now that the feelings of despair are subsiding, it might be time to take some action. But first, what better way to inspire you to enact change than some movies that are all about starting a revolution. I have the perfect list for you! Before you take on the world, take a gander at this list of 7 movies that will inspire you to start a revolution.
V For Vendetta (2005)Warner Bros.“Remember, remember the 5th of November”, is a famous line from V For Vendetta–and British history–and most Americans certainly won’t forget the 5th of November either. The Wachowskis are an iconic duo that have so much social commentary in all of their movies, and this one is no different. The film takes place in a totalitarian theocracy where genocide is disguised as morality. Natalie Portman stars as Evey as she and the infamous V (Hugo Weaving) burn it all to the ground.
The Color Purple (1985 / 2023)Warner Bros.There are two versions of The Color Purple and both are absolutely worth watching. The Color Purple follows the life of Celie, an African American woman experiencing incredible abuse and bigotry in the South. She is married off to a man who is equally as abusive as her family, which is when she decides she must find friendship and connection anywhere she can. This film shows how quickly one can lose their identity, but equally as quickly find it again through defiance and challenging what one may deem as the status quo.
They Live (1988)Universal PicturesWhat if you had a pair of sunglasses that could show you truly what the world is all about? That’s what John Nada (Roddy Piper) finds in They Live and it shows him how truly abhorrent the world he is living in is. Everywhere he turns there are advertisements that request everyone to obey and fall to consumerism and turn into mindless cogs. Nada is determined to fight for true humanity amidst an array of subliminal messages that steal the life from those who read them.
The Matrix (1999)Warner Bros.Another Wachowski great, The Matrix is all about revolution. Do you take the red pill or the blue pill? Neo (Keanu Reeves) is the chosen one who must travel the matrix in order to defeat an intense group of AI disguised as secret service agents determined to assimilate everyone. Neo and the rest of his crew make it their life mission to rip apart the façade that the dystopian world they’re living in presents. Its humanity or die, and this group of individuals is willing to die for the cause.
A League Of Their Own (1992)Columbia PicturesA League Of Their Own is a must-see for anyone remotely interested in sports and abolishing sexism. After World War II depletes majority of the male athletes as they get sent to fight, an all-female baseball team from the Midwest pops up and plays tough to secure their spot in a legitimate position. A League Of Their Own has a movie and a TV show, and both are worth the watch. Both adaptations cover a pivotal moment in history, which is the formation of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League. The league no longer exists, but this was just the beginning of the fight for equality among men and women.
Hidden Figures (2016)20th Century FoxJohn Glenn gets all the credit for being launched into orbit in 1962. However, he couldn’t have done it without hardworking Black women; Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson, at NASA. Hidden Figures is the story of these brilliant mathematicians and how they successfully were the brains behind the operation which led to the US leading the Space Race. The movie covers the gender and racial disparity that, unfortunately, does still exist today.
Selma (2014)Paramount PicturesSelma focuses in on the 1965 voting rights marches that occurred between Selma and Montgomery, Alabama. These marches were organized by Martin Luther King Jr., James Bevel, John Lewis, and Hosea Williams. Selma famously follows the trailblazing path these individuals took to achieve the right to vote. Selma gets bonus points for focusing in on the women who stood beside those at the frontlines and how their support carried the revolution.
You deserve more than the bare minimum. You deserve genuine interest, effort, and appreciation. Here are some definitive signs he’s only giving you the bare minimum (and that you should definitely move on).
Your attraction is based on potential (not who he actually is).When you’re being honest with yourself, you realize that most of what you see in him is based on the idea of one day (not the present). For example, he may run late all the time now, but maybe in a few years when he grows up more, he’ll understand that your time is as important as his!
Stop it.
You deserve someone who wants to treat you right from the start. You want a partner, not a project. Don’t forget that.
He’s just sooooo busy.Like, all the time. It doesn’t matter that your schedule is just as hectic as his and you can still make enough time for him despite your other relationships and responsibilities. “Busy” is a lazy excuse and honestly a deflection. What he’s really saying is you’re not a priority. If you were, he would carve out more space in his life for you, not just when he had nothing else to do. Speaking of…
You initiate plans most of the time, but everything is still on his terms only.This is to say that you’re the one starting talks for Friday night plans but if those plans come to fruition is dependent on whether he actually feels like committing to them. In fact, he will only confirm the plans you suggested at the very last minute (and after you texted following up).
This means that it’s you doing all the legwork in planning while also catering to his ~busy~ schedule. He stalls in committing to seeing you because he wants to see if something comes up better in the meantime. He sees you as an option, not a choice.
A bare minimum man will only come around when it is 100 percent convenient for him and doesn’t require any bending whatsoever. It’s his way of giving you the absolute least while still being able to take credit for saying saw you.
He gets visibly uncomfortable when you bring up the future as it relates to your relationship.Because he doesn’t see a future with you in it. He sees you as a placeholder.
He says things like, “You deserve better.”This is not a compliment, it is a warning. If someone acknowledges they’re essentially giving you nothing and that you could (and should) do better, listen to them. Walk away. You deserve more than a bare minimum man. Go find it.
The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that it can trap you in sticky situations. Even though you know you deserve more deep down, you have trouble pulling yourself away from relationships you’ve spent a lifetime building. You don’t want to desert the people who you’ve grown attached to over time. You don’t want to hurt their feelings by leaving them in the dust. You feel like you owe it to them to stay by their side, regardless of their attitude.
Leaving isn’t even an option in your mind. You love them, so of course you’re going to stay with them. Of course you’re going to let their bad behavior slide. But despite what romance movies tell you, your love shouldn’t actually be unconditional. If someone is treating you poorly, then you’re allowed to rethink whether or not they deserve space in your universe. You’re allowed to ask yourself whether keeping them around is actually healthy for you. Even though it’s hard for you to separate love from like, it’s entirely possible to love someone who’s bad for you. You can love someone who you should never see again.
The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that your heart is biased. When you’ve known someone for a long time, the last thing you want to do is walk away. If you told a stranger your problems, they would be able to look at the situation logically, and they wouldn’t hesitate to tell you to walk away. But since you’re in the middle of the situation, you’re too close to see how others are harming you. You’re distracted by how much you care about them. Your first instinct is to defend this other person because you know they’re a good person. But being a good person doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Just like being good for you in the past doesn’t mean they’re good for you in the present.
Situations change. Relationships evolve – and devolve. It’s impossible to ignore your emotions completely, but don’t be so distracted by your heart that you forget to hear what your common sense is telling you.
The problem with listening to your heart over your head is that your heart usually wants what’s best in the moment. Meanwhile, your head is usually thinking more about the long-term. Right now, walking away from someone bad for you would be tough, so your heart doesn’t want to do it. You would rather pretend everything is fine today and deal with the problem another day. But your head knows that sometimes the hardest decisions are the best decisions. Sometimes, you’re going to be put through a lot of stress before you can come out happier on the other side.
If you’ve been listening to your heart over your head, you don’t want to do a complete 180 and start listening to your head and ignoring your heart. Being logical isn’t better than being sentimental. It’s best to hear what your head and your heart both have to say. Listen to them both.
These comfort shows are here just when you need them. Shut off your brain and drown your overactive mind with these TV favorites.
There are more than a few of us who could use a break from worrying about the world right now. It’s important to stay connected, to know current events, to work toward change, but you can’t do that all the time. So when you just want to chill and shut off your brain, try one of these comfort shows. None of them have politics are hardcore drama or high stakes. Instead, you can binge for hours while your stress levels go down a couple notches. Score!
Watch Castle for a lighthearted police-proceduralABCPolice-procedural shows are great because you can literally put on any episode and enjoy what you see. There’s rarely an overarching story across episodes and instead you get to solve the murder of the week along with the detectives. Castle is a good choice because it’s the silliest and least serious of the genre. Plus, Nathan Fillion’s smile can set anyone at ease. Watch Castle on Prime Video, Hulu, or The Roku Channel.
Watch Over the Garden Wall for a cute show that’ll turn you into a superfanCartoon NetworkIf you haven’t already watched this animated kids show, now’s the time. Giving serious autumn energy, it’s all about two brothers finding their way home through woods while meeting increasingly more interesting people. The animation is great, the characters are adorable, and the soundtrack rocks. Although it’s for kids, you’ll likely end up as one of the many adults who will now make Over the Garden Wall a part of their personality. Watch Over the Garden Wall on Hulu.
Watch The Circle for a low-stakes reality TV competitionNetflixThere are so many new reality shows out there, but here’s the problem with most of them: They’re designed at least partially to make your blood boil. Watching a guy cheat on the girl he met on Love is Blind isn’t exactly a good way to turn off your brain. If you want to watch something newer that’s low-stakes, try The Circle. It’s just a bunch of people talking to each other through screens, no biggie. And with seven seasons, you’re set for a while. Watch The Circle on Netflix.
Watch The Great British Baking Show for sweet baked goods and sweeter contestantsChannel 4When you’re starting believe that humanity is doomed, just watch The Great British Baking Show. It’s so heartwarming how the contestants are a part of a baking competition, yet they become friends, root for each other, even help one another succeed. Watch this when you need help believing that there’s good in the world. Watch The Great British Baking Show on Netflix.
Watch Downton Abbey for drama that has nothing to do with youITVOkay, you really want drama but you don’t want to be reminded of anything going on in your life right now? No problem. Just watch the trials and tribulations of wealthy British people and their staff in 1912 through the mid-to-late-1920s. There’s all the love and intrigue you need with nothing that’ll raise your blood pressure. Watch Downton Abbey on Prime Video and Peacock.
Watch your favorite sitcom when you need the familiar–you know the oneCheers / NBCWe all have that sitcom that we turn on when we can barely function. We have it on in the background while we knit or paint or make dinner or just sit there and vibe. Yours might be The Office or 30 Rock or Parks and Rec or Friends or How I Met Your Mother or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Cue it up and let your brain rot, because sometimes that’s what you need to cope. And that’s okay.
We could all learn a little something from the Breaking Bad spinoff, Better Call Saul.
Better Call Saul was created by Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould as a Breaking Bad spinoff. The series is primarily set several years before its predecessor, with a few flash forwards and the last four episodes of the final season taking place after the events of the flagship show. The story follows struggling lawyer Jimmy McGill, who eventually embraces his reputation as a con artist, adopts the brash Saul Goodman persona, and becomes Walter White and Jesse Pinkman’s attorney.
But there is a lot more to the series than a generic origin story. Over six seasons, viewers are introduced to Kim Wexler, Mike Ehrmantraut, and Chuck McGill, each of whom played a role in Jimmy’s life. Each of their stories reminds us that life is made up of many small decisions and that every choice we make, no matter how insignificant, eventually shapes the person we become. And no matter how many times we convince ourselves that it’s s’all good, man, the truth will always prevail.
Sometimes the things we love aren’t good for usAMCWhen viewers meet Kim Wexler, she is an associate at Hamlin Hamlin & McGill (HHM). A little background on the character reveals that she worked in the law firm’s mail room with Jimmy while studying for her degree. During that time, the pair became fast friends. She is sympathetic to the fact that Jimmy’s brother Chuck is constantly putting him down and that he was not offered a job at the firm after completing his law degree.
As the series progresses, Kim and Jimmy become romantically involved (and marry), with the latter willing to do anything for the woman he loves – even if it means breaking the law. Kim, who is well aware of Jimmy’s tendency to skirt the rules, becomes more willing to go along with schemes and even seems to enjoy them. Kim reaches a breaking point after a tragedy makes her question her choices. She tells Jimmy she loves him, but they need to separate because they did too much damage as a couple.
Family loyalty can lead us down the wrong pathAMCMike Ehrmantraut is a study in loyalty and sacrifice. In Breaking Bad, viewers learn that he used to work in law enforcement with his son Matt. The entire department was corrupt, with cops frequently accepting pay-offs. While Mike went along with it, his son did not. When Matt died because of his choices, Mike blamed himself and vowed to provide for his daughter-in-law, Stacey, and his granddaughter, Kaylee, even if the means were questionable.
In Better Call Saul, Mike works as a parking attendant at the courthouse, where he frequently runs into Jimmy. Since Mike needs the money, he often takes shady jobs protecting criminals and breaking into places. Mike’s need to secure his family’s future eventually pushes him into the criminal underworld, where he chooses to work for drug lord Gus Fring and is forced to break his own no-killing rule. When Walter White enters the picture, Mike is eventually killed.
Pride and jealousy are a horrible combinationAMCJimmy’s older brother, Chuck McGill, is a complex character driven by pride and a profound fear of failure. He is a master of backhanded compliments and never misses a chance to make his brother feel unworthy. Although Chuck is a partner at HHM, viewers meet the recluse version of the character, who has convinced himself that he suffers from electromagnetic hypersensitivity. Still, his accomplishments as a lawyer are his identity, and he views his success as proof of his self-worth.
However, his pride becomes his downfall because of his unwillingness to recognize Jimmy as his peer. In the show’s first two seasons, viewers learn that Chuck told Howard not to hire his brother as an associate at the firm. Although Jimmy acts as his primary caregiver, Chuck resents his ability as a lawyer and sets a trap to discredit him in court. His actions cause Jimmy’s law license to get suspended, after which he creates the Saul Goodman persona.
Hurt feelings and moral ambiguity lead to the dark sideAMCAt the center of the series is Jimmy McGill, whose transformation into Saul Goodman serves as a cautionary tale. The saddest part about his eventual reputation as a criminal lawyer is that it was never his goal. Sure, Jimmy had a checkered past filled with various cons. But after Chuck offered to get him out of a jam on condition that he turned his life around, he did exactly that! Unfortunately, he always found himself at the losing end of every battle on the straight and narrow.
To make matters worse, Jimmy had no idea that Chuck was sabotaging his law career. By the time he opened a mildly successful practice focused on elder law, he already made some questionable choices to help Kim advance her solo career. Things never really improved for Jimmy, who became increasingly sad with each passing season. When Kim asked for a divorce, he let the Saul Goodman persona take over his life and eventually became known as the shady (albeit brilliant) lawyer of Walter White.
Here are eight subtle homages that make this modern take feel like a true extension of the Addams’ deliciously eerie world.
Netflix’s Wednesday absolutely nailed its fresh take on everyone’s favorite gloomy teen Wednesday Addams. Between the murder mystery plot and creepy-cool boarding school setting, the show manages to feel completely modern while sneaking in some brilliant callbacks to the Addams Family iterations we all grew up with. Anyone who’s ever hummed that iconic theme song will spot these easter eggs right away.
The Double Snap Never underestimate the power of a good callback. We all remember doing those finger snaps along with the theme song. And luckily, the show turned the iconic moment into an actual secret password at Nevermore. Students have to nail the perfect double snap to access one of the school’s hidden chambers. It was a super clever way to work in a classic bit and making it part of the plot was a genius move.
Thing’s PersonalityNetflixWho knew a disembodied hand could steal the show? Previous versions of Thing were great and all, but this iteration takes things to a whole new level. One minute Thing’s helping Wednesday crack a case, the next they’re throwing serious shade with nothing but finger gestures. Those little fist bumps? Absolutely precious. Somehow a character without a face, voice, or, well, anything except a hand, ended up being one of the most expressive parts of the show.
Wednesday’s Love for the MacabrePast versions of Wednesday loved the macabre, as does the new Netflix one. Her fascination with death, torture devices, and the grotesque pays homage to the original, but luckily, it’s no longer just a quirky character trait. Her dark interests actually help solve mysteries throughout the show. And the way she casually drops disturbing historical facts during normal conversations has perfect comedic timing. Nothing beats that therapy session where she completely traumatizes her counselor with detailed descriptions of historical executions.
The Rave’N DanceNetflixWednesday’s dance season from Episode 4 was undoubtedly one of the most memorable moments of Wednesday Season 1. Jenna Ortega — who choreographed the whole routine herself — blended quirky arm movements with a deadpan stare. And with her funky footwork, she gave a subtle nod to Lisa Loring’s original Wednesday dance from the ’60s show.
Morticia’s RosesMost people trim roses to keep them alive – but not Morticia. Watching Catherine Zeta-Jones snip off those flower heads with such elegance reminds us of how Carolyn Jones did the exact same thing in the original series. The way she lovingly arranges thorny stems in a vase must hit old-school fans with a huge dose of nostalgia. Such a tiny detail, yet it speaks volumes about staying true to the source material. And honestly, there’s something weirdly satisfying about watching someone destroy flowers with such grace.
The Gothic Architecture of Nevermore AcademyNetflixThe gothic and foreboding architecture of Nevermore Academy is definitely an homage to the Addams family mansion. Its secret passageways, shadowy corners, and Victorian design are quite reminiscent of the original home. And the gargoyles around every corner and those endless shadowy hallways are nod to the family’s quirky sense of style.
Lurch’s Signature VibeBlink and you might miss Lurch in this show, but every appearance hits just right. No need for constant “you rang?” callbacks — his presence alone does all the heavy lifting. That scene where he silently judges Wednesday’s potential love interests? Worth replaying at least twice. Some characters just don’t need many lines to make an impact. The casting department struck gold here – exactly the right mix of intimidating and weirdly heartwarming.
Wednesday’s Cello PerformancesNetflixWhoever decided Wednesday should play the cello deserves a raise. Dark, dramatic, moody – could any instrument fit her personality better? And playing “Paint It Black” during a school concert was totally on brand. Watching her aggressive playing style tells you everything you need to know about her character without a single word. Plus, seeing an Addams kid master classical music makes total sense — this family has always had a weirdly cultured side to their creepiness.
A situationship is considered to be a casual, undefined relationship that can actually be harder to define than you might realize. The reason you may not realize you’re in a situationship, as opposed to the beginning stages of a “real” relationship, is because modern dating culture has normalized not talking about how we feel (and what we want) in favor of “seeing where things go.”
While you should absolutely take the time to assess whether someone is right to commit to, there also comes a point when you need to figure out if you’re simply spinning your wheels. AKA it’s been three months, there are no talks of a future, and you have no idea what his BFF Tim even looks like because he refuses to bring you around his friends.
Here are seven signs you’re in a situationship (and that it most likely won’t become something more).
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It’s been two to three months but you are still afraid to bring up defining the relationship.You haven’t defined the relationship, despite the fact it’s been several months, because you still don’t feel safe to do so. If you’re being honest with yourself, you feel uncomfortable even initiating the conversation about what the two of you are because you know it would most likely mean losing them altogether. In your mind, this is better than not having them in your life at all.
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You feel anxious about where you stand with them.On a related note to fear of defining the relationship, you constantly feel on edge, anxious, and bummed out when you think about what you may mean to them because you’re aware (even if it’s on a deep down, sub-conscious level) that your position in their life is precarious at best.
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You have fun together but there isn’t much emotional depth to the relationship.You have a blast together, but you wouldn’t call them with a crisis or even a slight issue because that’s just not the kind of dynamic the two of you share. While good sex, chemistry, flirting, and fun are all great (and important), so is being able to divulge your feelings (such as the ones you’re developing for them).
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Plans are almost always made at the last minute.There’s no romance when you spend time together. There is no planning of romantic outings or getaways. Everything is planned at the last minute, when nothing else has come up and it’s totally, 100 percent convenient.
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They haven’t introduced you to their friends (even though they’ve met yours).They have made zero effort to integrate you into their social circle. In fact, it seems the effort they have made is keeping your thing separate from the rest of their life. This could potentially mean they don’t see you as becoming part of their life long-term, so they don’t want to involve you in the people they do see sticking around. Speaking of the future…
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There are no discussions about the future.Like, zero. Nothing about long-term plans outside of the relationship either. This is a red flag that this is a situationship because even future plans outside of relationship specifics (i.e. their next job, where they may want to live outside of your current city, etc.) would affect you if you were still around when said future events occurred. If they aren’t considering how those things would impact you, it’s because they most likely don’t see you in their future, so there is no reason to bring it up.
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You don’t use your dating apps but you also haven’t paused them “just in case.”The “just in case” being “this thing with Todd doesn’t work out.” You also have one foot out the door, meaning you’re just as detached in a way as they are.
While situationships can be healthy, navigating one requires both parties to be open, communicative, and honest with one another about what you want and what you’re looking for.
If you don’t know where you stand, ask (even if you don’t think you’ll like the answer). And, honestly, who knows; maybe they’ve just been as scared as you.
There’s only one way to find out.
You might miss your almost more than actual exes because you never had the chance to get to know your almost intimately. You’ve only seen the best sides of them. You’ve experienced the fun, flirtatious moments without any of the bad, brutal ones. You weren’t with them long enough to have fights with them, to see them at their meanest, to cause deep cracks that ruined your image of them.
Even though having an almost can be exhausting after a while, it can also be fun and exciting, filled with possibility. You’re always wondering what’s going to come next, what it will be like when you turn into an official couple. Since that never happened, since you never became official, it feels like you missed out. Like you weren’t given enough time together. Like you didn’t have a chance to connect as much as you hoped.
Meanwhile, you experienced what it was like to date your exes firsthand. You saw them in good moods and bad moods. You learned what it was like to kiss their lips and feel their breath against your cheek at night. Even though you might miss what you used to have with them, it’s easy to miss the unknown even more. After all, you never even got a chance to reach certain milestones with your almost. Instead, you had a picture in your head of what it might be like to kiss them and go on cute dates with them – and you assumed it would be magical.
It makes sense to miss that perfect, imaginary relationship more than you miss your real relationships that didn’t end up working in the end. After all, you know for a fact that your exes aren’t right for you. That’s why you broke up. That’s why they’re no longer in your life. But your almost left before you had a chance to test whether or not you were really compatible. They left before you were able to tell them how much they meant to you.
Plus, it’s not like your almost was a complete stranger. You were close enough to develop real feelings. You were close enough to get attached. You don’t have to date someone in order to fall in love with someone. The feelings you have for them are valid, even if you weren’t a couple. You still shared special moments together. You still had a deep connection, whether or not it was official acknowledged.
You might miss your almost more than your exes because your exes gave you closure. You knew why they were walking away – but almosts aren’t always as transparent. Since you weren’t a couple, they might walk away without an explanation. And you might feel uncomfortable asking for an explanation. Most of the time, almosts leave you lost and confused. You aren’t sure whether you imagined the flirting in your head, if you were wrong about their feelings from the start, or if something caused them to lose interest in you. When an almost leaves, the questions are endless.
Sometimes, it can feel worse than losing an ex because you never got a chance to do so many things you were excited to do. You feel like you only got half of their heart.
You already know it’s dangerous to compare yourself to others. No two journeys are going to look the same. Every person walks at a different pace. It’s much better to compare your current self to the person you were yesterday – but even that can become dangerous if you’re not careful. Even though it’s important to set new goalposts for yourself, to continue to grow each and every day, you don’t want to be too harsh on yourself when you feel like you’re doing worse today than you did yesterday.
Your best is going to look different on different days. Some mornings, you’re going to wake up overflowing with energy and will be able to take on a million tasks without breaking a sweat. Other days, it will be a struggle to climb out of bed without hitting snooze ten times in a row. On the days when your energy is depleted, when you are feeling foggy and exhausted, you’re not going to be as productive as you were on your peppy days. You might feel like you should be able to take on more today than yesterday since you’re older and wiser now, but that’s not always the case.
Today, you might be dealing with more stress than yesterday. You might have gotten less sleep than yesterday. You might be facing different obstacles than yesterday. You don’t want to push yourself too hard when you’re running on fumes. You need to accept that what you are capable of achieving changes based on the hour.
Some days, you are going to surprise yourself with a level of productivity that you never thought was possible. Other days, you’re going to fall short of your own expectations. But you shouldn’t swing between being wildly proud of yourself and deeply disappointed in yourself. Remember that one day alone doesn’t matter. The whole picture matters. Maybe you weren’t able to move forward today, but overall, have you been moving forward? Overall, have you been accomplishing goals? Overall, have you been doing the right thing?
Comparing your present self to your past self can be dangerous when you aren’t recognizing the fact that you have changed as you’ve gotten older. Maybe you have more responsibilities now and have less time to focus on your passions. Maybe you’ve gone through health issues and aren’t able to put in as much work without stopping for breaks. Maybe you’ve been dealing with a loss or your living situation has shifted and you’re still adjusting to the change, so you aren’t able to accomplish what you’ve done in the past. You can’t kick yourself for being lazy or unproductive compared to your past-self when your past-self wasn’t dealing with nearly as many problems as you are now. Go easy on yourself. Be gentle with your heart.
Remember, even though it’s important to grow bit by bit as the days pass, it’s okay if you accomplished more yesterday than you did today. Life isn’t a competition – against anyone else or yourself.
The first four episodes of Dune: Prophecy center around political motivations.
After Denis Villeneuve’s Dune films made over $1 billion, received critical and audience acclaim, and cleaned up at the Academy Awards, is anyone surprised to see HBO getting in on the action with the prequel, Dune: Prophecy? It would be all too easy to call this a cash grab to tide fans over until Villeneuve releases the final installment in the trilogy, Dune Messiah, but this isn’t the case. Dune: Prophecy couldn’t be in better hands, as the network has demonstrated with its constant output of series that refuse to budge on quality and value.
While HBO continues to be all in on the Game of Thrones business, releasing spinoffs of the popular show, it might have just stumbled onto the next great epic drama that’s more than worthy of picking up the pieces from Westeros. Make no mistake: Dune: Prophecy contains all the right ingredients to be as culturally relevant and impressive as the show about the scramble for the Iron Throne. Mild spoilers for Dune: Prophecy follow.
History is written by the victorsSet 10,000 years before Paul Atreides’ journey on Arrakis, Dune: Prophecy shifts the focus to the Harkonnen sisters, Valya (Emily Watson) and Tula (Olivia Williams), who form a part of the Sisterhood that eventually becomes the Bene Gesserit. They possess the power of influence and Truthsayer abilities, making them valuable assets in a politically charged world where everyone holds ulterior motives and tensions threaten to boil over.
The story also touches upon their own history as Harkonnens, exploring the aftermath of the Battle of Corrin that sees the House branded cowardly and treated as a pariah. However, there’s more to this than meets the eye, as Valya contests their history to have been written by House Atreides when the truth isn’t quite what it seems.
Dune: Prophecy sows seeds of doubt about everything everyone believed to be true in Denis Villeneuve’s Dune films. It questions how misunderstandings could have led to all the issues between the Atreides, Harkonnens, and others – or do they? Showrunners Diane Ademu-John and Alison Schapker toy with the audience and keep everyone guessing about the characters and their true motivations at all times. They scatter parts of the backstory across these four episodes, leading viewers down one road before showing them something entirely different that changes the game and moves the plot in a different direction.
Dune: Prophecy explores the drama between the HousesUnlike the Dune films that are sci-fi epics bursting with action, adventure, and sandworms, Dune: Prophecy chooses to focus on the drama within the four walls of the fortresses and secret rooms. While the futuristic and rustic designs fit in with Denis Villeneuve’s aesthetic, the show takes the lead from programs like Game of Thrones in becoming a political thriller.
Much like George R. R. Martin’s universe, not a single soul can be trusted in Dune: Prophecy. Someone might start off with the noblest intentions, but the ability to get ahead or closer to what they want forces them to bend their morals. The dynamic between Travis Fimmel’s enigmatic Desmond Hart and Mark Strong’s Emperor Javicco Corrino, in particular, intrigues from their first interaction. Their edgy alliance holds the key to the future of the Imperium, but there are other players making their moves in the background, throwing several spanners into the works.
What this means is that the sandworm rides and explosive battles from Dune aren’t present in these first four episodes. While the desert’s favorite creature does feature here – because how couldn’t it? – this series explores the simmering internal conflict rather than rushing to the external one. That said, tensions bubble and boil here, while the trailer hints at fights to come, so don’t be surprised to see the action pick up in the remaining episodes.
Dune: Prophecy holds potential, but does it fulfill all the promises?Dune: Prophecy isn’t shy of pumping out a plethora of intertwined plot threads right from the get-go, so it’s advised that the viewer refreshes their memory by watching the films and reading Frank Herbert’s novel if possible. The homework is worth it because the show succeeds in drawing the audience into this absorbing and eye-catching world and gripping them with the allure of all the mystery and political conspiracy. Yet, the ambition of untangling these hefty and convoluted story threads into cohesive ah-ha moments remains lofty.
Imagine the first four episodes of Dune: Prophecy as someone who summons the sandworm and latches onto the creature. The ride proves wild, unpredictable, and thrilling, but will the individual reach the final destination they wanted or was it all for nothing? That’s still to be determined, so hang on tight and let’s find out.
From ingenious action parodies to laugh-out-loud caper films, here are some of our absolute favorite British comedies, ranked in order from worst to best.
More so than most other nationalities, the United Kingdom has a very particular sense of humor that can be described as … well … British. Evoking a drier comedic style characterized by a deadpan delivery, crisp satirical dialogue, and absurdist plot lines, the UK’s illustrious output of comedy films speaks for itself. To this day, most international audience members can fondly recall some of the best films to originate from the European country, including such classic films as A Fish Called Wanda, Shaun of the Dead, or any one of Monty Python’s celebrated anthology films.
From ingenious action parodies to laugh-out-loud caper films, here are some of our absolute favorite British comedies, ranked in order from worst to best.
Hot Fuzz (2007)Universal PicturesThe second installment in Edgar Wright’s utterly smashing Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy, Hot Fuzz makes for a more than satisfying follow-up to the series’ previous entry, Shaun of the Dead. Whereas Wright and Simon Pegg had looked to vintage zombie films as the inspiration for their breakthrough film, Hot Fuzz turns its attention towards stylized police procedural action flicks like Dirty Harry, Point Break, and Lethal Weapon for their underlying narrative premise. The results give way to a film as unforgettably funny as Shaun of the Dead before it or The World’s End after it, ensuring another prestigious entry in Wright’s increasingly superb career.
The Death of Stalin (2017)Entertainment OneWithout a doubt among the greatest British comedies of the past 20 years, The Death of Stalin offers a sardonic look at the 1950s Soviet Union in the days following Joseph Stalin’s demise. Dramatizing the death of the titular historical dictator, The Death of Stalin specifically shows off the chaotic scramble for power attempted by Stalin’s various inner circle members. From Steve Buscemi’s opportunistic Khrushchev to Simon Russell Beale’s scheming Beria, every moment of The Death of Stalin is pure anarchic political comedy at its finest.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)United InternationalOver the past several decades, Wallace & Gromit have become something of a beloved staple among worldwide audiences, achieving the same level of avid popularity as Monty Python or Mr. Bean before them. With 2005’s The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Aardman Studios found a way to expand the animated short series into a feature-length mystery film. With careful homages paid to classic Hammer Horror films, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is that rare comedy capable of delighting a universal audience, regardless of their age or respective demographic.
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)United InternationalLike every member of Monty Python, John Cleese went on to enjoy a long and accolade-filled career in the entertainment industry, starring in various hit films throughout the next several decades. As many wonderful movies as Cleese appeared in, the most notable among the actor’s projects has to be his 1988 comedy caper, A Fish Called Wanda. Humorously subverting the various tropes around the hard-boiled heist genre, Cleese provided one of the most refreshing takes on the comedy crime film with his work here, earning consistent acclaim from audiences across the globe.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)EMI FilmsFew comedy troupes have shaped the larger comedic landscape to the same extent as Monty Python. Just as they’d managed to dazzle viewers with their sensational Flying Circus TV series, the Pythons made a similarly larger-than-life splash with their debut film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Satirizing Arthurian legend and presenting King Arthur’s quest to find the fabled chalice, Holy Grail comes packed with the Pythons’ signature surreal humor, including such inventive tropes as man-eating rabbits, salacious maidens, homicidal knights, and hilariously condescending French invaders.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)Universal PicturesThe fact that Shaun of the Dead played a massive role in reigniting fans’ interest in the waning zombie genre should tell viewers all they need to know about this 2004 comedy. Co-written and directed by the always fantastic Edgar Wright, Shaun of the Dead provides a tongue-in-cheek look at the stereotypical zombie vehicle, complete with meticulous nods to George A. Romero’s lauded Living Dead series. Striking a fine balance between infectious humor and light-hearted scares, Shaun of the Dead is a comedy horror masterpiece done right, influencing countless movies, video games, and TV series in the process.
Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979)Cinema InternationalWhile Monty Python and the Holy Grail is rightfully considered a hallmark of British cinema, there’s something special about the Pythons’ immediate 1979 follow-up, Life of Brian. Swapping the Dark Ages for the Ancient Middle East, the Python troupe effectively lampoons the conventions of organized religion and political conformity, outfitting their narrative with thought-provoking nuance and sobering dark comedy. Incorporating absurdist humor, poignant satire, and bittersweet musical numbers, it’s a film guaranteed to leave an impression on audience members for literal decades to come.
Want a taste of Gen Z cinema? Check out the 12 best Gen Z movies, along with where to watch them.
The film industry goes through eras just like generations. You can see it in the way stories are told. Boomers had movies with Mid-Atlantic accents that ended with a “passionate” closed-mouth first kiss. Gen X had the quirky musicals filled with rollerskating or aliens from Transylvania or pinball wizards. Millennials were all about the classic teen rom com that almost always featured a makeover montage. So what’s going on with Gen Z movies? It turns out they have their own sometimes absurd, irreverent, dry humor–and we’re loving it.
Not every movie coming out right now is a “Gen Z” movie, though. In order to fit the bill, it has to demonstrate the experiences of the generation. It also has that certain something that Gen Z movies have. It’s one of those “You’ll know it when you see it,” things, but here’s the best way I can describe it: Gen Z movies are more open about taboo topics, more diverse than ever before, and have the dry irreverent humor that you get when a Gen Z barista waits on you at your favorite coffee shop. And I mean that in the best of ways. Here are some of the best Gen Z movies so far. They cooked, they ate, they left no crumbs.
Eighth Grade (2018)A24One of the oldest movies on this list, Eighth Grade gets the Gen Z label because they were at just the right age for it. While the rest of us watched with nostalgia in our hearts, Gen Z was in middle school when this came out. All the dramatic and often too-real subject matter of Bo Burnham’s coming-of-age drama was all too real for this generation. Though honestly, it’s a good one for all ages. Watch Eighth Grade on Amazon Video.
Blockers (2018)Universal PicturesOne of those typical “we have to get laid at prom” movies that have been around for decades, Blockers not only follows a crew of Gen Z teens, but it also bridges the generational gap with Elder Millennial/Gen X parents. If you’re wanting to watch some Gen Z movies and don’t know where to start, this is a good entrance into the genre. Watch Blockers on Amazon Video.
Dinner in America (2020)Best & Final ReleasingGen Z main characters are often flawed, skewed more to what people are like in real life than the shiny pop-factory actors of the past. Dinner in America is not only a gritty romance about a criminal punk singer and his biggest fan, but it’s also gotten a recent surge in popularity in a huge Gen Z way: Through TikTok. Watch Dinner in America on Hulu.
Moxie (2021)NetflixBased on a Young Adult novel by Jennifer Mathieu, Moxie follows a teen girl getting feminist inspiration from her Riot Grrrl mom. While feminist teen movies are nothing new, this Gen Z take offers a fresh perspective on intersectionality and male allies that the others don’t have. Watch Moxie on Netflix.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)A24There’s no way around it: Our society is inundated and affected by influencer culture, especially for Gen Z. Bodies Bodies Bodies, a slasher horror comedy from A24, has all the colorful flash and mental health jargon you’d expect from a self-aware movie of young adults growing up in this generation. It’s funny, it’s fun, and it’s very Gen Z. Watch Bodies Bodies Bodies on Max and Paramount with Showtime.
Do Revenge (2022)NetflixThe grammar of the title alone should clue you in to the Gen Z of it all. After a popular girl gets taken down a peg, she connects with a new student so they can “do revenge” on the people who have wronged them. If you want a look into the energy of a modern school (dialed up several notches), this is a fun way to do it. Watch Do Revenge on Netflix.
Bottoms (2023)MGMDon’t take anything that happens in Bottoms seriously. That’s kind of the point. It’s a look at a Gen Z high school at its most hilarious and absurd as two of the most unpopular girls in school start a fight club to hopefully start earning everyone’s respect. Go into this one expecting the absurd. Watch Bottoms on Prime Video and MGM+.
Saltburn (2023)Warner Bros.You’ve got Barry Keoghan and Jacob Elordi, two actors Gen Z loves, playing out the rich man, poor man fantasy right before your eyes. Things quickly turn dark when jealousy is involved–plus it has several viral moments that have left the generation gagged. It’s like they took the Millennial thriller The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) and gave it a Gen Z edge. Watch Saltburn on Prime Video.
Theater Camp (2023)SearchlightWhen a bunch of Gen Z counselors of a theater camp band together to save the failing institution, they use their classic theater kid “too much” gene to make their Gen Alpha campers put on the best show of their little lives. This isn’t the first time there’s been a theater camp movie, but this is the first with the Gen Z edge. Watch Theater Camp on Prime Video.
Lisa Frankenstein (2024)Universal PicturesIt feels like it’s only Gen Z who could appreciate a wry, silly, and neon-filled romantic comedy take on the classic Frankenstein story. In this adaptation, Lisa is crushing hard on a long-dead soldier, spending time at his grave. When he becomes a certified member of the undead, she seduces him, of course. Mary Shelley would approve. Watch Lisa Frankenstein on Prime Video.
Drive-Away Dolls (2024)Universal PicturesA wholly Gen Z attitude is the “let’s not freak out, everything will be fine, the world is crumbling anyway” energy, and you get that full force in this crime comedy. Where in the past, characters would have big reactions to accidentally renting a car with a big secret in the trunk, these two Gen Z girls figure it’ll all work out in the end. This is a hilarious movie you won’t want to miss. Watch Drive-Away Dolls on Prime Video.
Oh no, Joker: Folie à Deux! Look at how they massacred my boy.
In 2019, Todd Phillips’ Joker polarized audiences, as a fear permeated that it might inspire some kind of violent incel revolution. In the end, all that happened is people dressed up as Arthur Fleck’s alter ego and reenacted the infamous dance scene on stairs across the world. A billion dollars and two Academy Awards later, Joker established itself as a major win for DC and Warner Bros. in a time in which its comic book movies fell apart at the seams.
Despite the unexpected success for a peculiar project, no one envisioned this as anything more than a one-off movie. Turns out that money talks louder than integrity in showbiz. Phillips and Joaquin Phoenix returned for Joker: Folie à Deux, a sequel that includes Lady Gaga as Harley “Lee” Quinzel and applies a musical twist to all the madness as it explores the trial of Arthur Fleck following his crime spree in the last movie. Unquestionably, the film swings for the bleachers; however, it hits itself right in the nether regions instead. Mild spoilers for Joker: Folie à Deux follow.
Joker: Folie à Deux is an absolute circus of a storyIn a September 2024 interview with Vanity Fair, Lady Gaga spoke about how freeing and collaborating it was to make Joker: Folie à Deux. “We’d very often meet in Joaquin’s trailer and sometimes we would just tear the script up and start all over,” Gaga said. “It was a really cool, liberating process.”
It shows in the final film, too. In what can only be described as a Frankenstein’s monster of a script, Joker: Folie à Deux exists as a conflict of ideas and themes that forgets what it introduced in its last page. At one point, the story posits to the audience that Arthur Fleck is a narcissist and explores the concept in his reaction to Lee stealing his limelight in a musical reverie. Then, the film completely forgets about this for the rest of its running time. Scott Silver and Todd Phillips’ script (and whoever else contributed to this abomination) experiences multiple crises of identity, never knowing if it’s a courtroom drama, musical, or a poor man’s version of The Shawshank Redemption. Inevitably, it’s a mish-mash that tries to paint itself as high art when it’s nothing more than a YouTube compilation video of scenes.
Then, there’s the curious case of Lee Quinzel. From the get-go, Phillips declared this would be a different version of the Harley Quinn character. Gone is the accent, the over-the-top goofiness, and sassiness of the Clown Princess of Crime. Lee displays nothing more than the characteristics of Hybristophilia, where she falls head over heels for a killer and… that’s it. The decision boggles the mind since the classic Harley suits the showmanship and theatricality that the film tries to achieve with its musical nature. Instead, Lee comes across as nothing more than a generic character from a Lifetime TV thriller.
The film fears being a real musicalTo its credit, Joker: Folie à Deux never hid the fact it contains musical elements. However, there’s no getting around the fact Phillips experienced cold feet at some point and didn’t fully commit to the idea here. Resultantly, the interludes where the characters break out into song and dance feel more out of place rather than as a natural flow and extension of the storyline. At least half of these numbers could have been removed entirely and the story would have been better off because of it.
Cinematographer Lawrence Sher looks to his peer Linus Sandgren for inspiration, infusing a timeless and playful quality to the aesthetic of the musical numbers, but this isn’t quite La La Land as it’s Gaga Land. One can’t help but think Lady Gaga’s casting was made solely because they needed someone to carry these moments alongside Joaquin Phoenix, who demonstrated his musical aptitude in Walk the Line. Yet, due to these interludes taking place too sporadically, they become more annoying rather than riveting. The film’s 138-minute running time doesn’t help matters much, and after an hour of too little story and too much singing, a viewer starts to look at their watch and wonder when this will all end.
DC stands for dire crisisJoker: Folie à Deux isn’t quite the bleach-in-the-eyes experience as The Crow reboot. Joaquin Phoenix showcases how he could play the part of a plastic bag and have the audience gripped to the screen at his every move. The courtroom scenes also add color and shade to who Arthur Fleck really is, while it’s welcome to see actor Harry Lawtey explore a different side of Harvey Dent in these moments. Plus, Brendan Gleeson’s Jackie Sullivan and Phoenix’s Arthur make maniacal magic whenever they’re on screen together.
Unfortunately, the good doesn’t outweigh the bad here. The ending, in particular, infuriates, as it’s the cheapest copout to a story about the Joker yet. Comic book fans will know all about this, as it’s the same feeling they experienced when they reached the disappointing and non-committal conclusion of Geoff Johns, Jason Fabok, and Brad Anderson’s Batman: Three Jokers.
Unlike Joker, which provided a glimmer of hope for DC and Warner Bros. films in 2019, Joker: Folie à Deux confirms the state of disaster is real. The last time DC achieved a live-action hit – both in terms of critical reception and box office success – was in early 2022 through the release of The Batman, since then it’s been calamity after calamity. And this latest offering is no different. Right now, the DC Universe reboot – with a singular, unified vision – can’t come fast enough.
2024 marks the 30-year anniversary since Friends first aired in 1994. The beloved sitcom changed the world (and that’s not an exaggeration). After the first season, it was already a groundbreaking hit, turning its six stars into household names and A-list celebrities. As its good vibes spread around the world, many have credited it with their English education, including actor Ana de Armas.
“I came to America when I was 26, and I learned English the way everyone who comes to this country does: by watching Friends,” she told The Independent in 2023. In HBO’s 2021 Friends reunion documentary, many people around the world said the same. But while Friends had a global impact on English-language learning and the future of sitcoms, it’s still 30 years old, which means some of its jokes are a bit outdated.
The world has evolved a lot since 1994 — everyone has a mobile phone with the internet at their fingertips and after the #MeToo movement, which gained traction in 2018, everyone seems to have a greater understanding of consent. Gay marriage has been legalized and trans rights are on the forefront of everyone’s minds. So there are plenty of Friends jokes that played into the world’s backwards views … and plenty of others that were ahead of the show’s time. So we’ve compiled three moments that don’t hold up and three that definitely do.
Does Not Hold Up: All the Body-ShamingNBCFriends gained popularity not just because of its witty script or well-timed jokes, but also because of its cast of six traditionally attractive actors. Without proper body-diverse representation, the show leans heavily on fat jokes throughout its ten seasons. It harkens back to Monica’s childhood, in which Courteney Cox wears a fat suit to represent her younger self. In “The One with the Prom Video,” we first see “fat Monica,” and the gang mocks her.
She claps back, “The camera adds ten pounds,” to which Chandler quips, “How many cameras were on you?” In 2024, it’s just not funny to body-shame people, even if they are your closest friends. Plus, without any body-diverse characters and a very slim actor in the fat suit, the way the script mocks fat people feels extra offensive. And it continues throughout the entire series in other ways as well.
For example, when Rachel and her sister, Amy, talk about their other sister, Jill, they gossip about Jill gaining 15 pounds, where she gained it in her body, and how “carbs found her.” In 2024, we know better than to gossip about someone’s weight and encourage disordered eating.
Does Hold Up: “The One with the Lesbian Wedding”NBCThe entire Season 2 episode, which aired in Jan. 1996, was so ahead of its time that it still holds up to this day. In fact, the producers were so worried about portraying a lesbian wedding on network television that they allegedly hired 200 part-time operators to field calls about it, although they only received 11 calls, proving that people just want their favorite characters to be happy.
The episode toes the line between the humor and gravity of the situation, from Chandler trying (and failing) to flirt with a lesbian to Carol’s parents deciding not to go to the wedding. When Ross takes the high ground to walk his ex-wife down the aisle, it’s clear that the Friends writers are on the side of LGBTQ+ activism.
Does Not Hold Up: Mocking Gender StereotypesNBCIn some ways, Chandler’s dad being a trans woman is incredibly progressive, but much of the way it’s handled does not hold up. For starters, Chandler’s dad is played by Kathleen Turner, a woman with a deep voice who is not actually trans. The creators never even considered hiring a trans actor, and the character was still referred to as “he” because “pronouns were not yet something [they] understood,” Marta Kauffman told USA Today in 2023.
Even still, the creators did what they could to handle a delicate topic with care when it came to Chandler’s dad. But beyond this, Ross’s internalized masculinity would never hold up today. When Joey shares how much he loves his new bag, talking about how much he can hold in it, Ross adds, “Your makeup?” The line gets a laugh, but it wouldn’t fly today. Men can and do wear makeup; plus, carrying a nice bag doesn’t make him or anyone any less masculine.
Does Hold Up: Every Sex-Positive Moment (Especially with the Women)NBCIn the pilot, Monica sleeps with Paul the Wine Guy on their first date. In 1994, this was a major taboo and actually rubbed a lot of viewers the wrong way, but Friends’s unabashed portrayal of female sexuality and sex-positivity was truly progressive. While there is the rare bout of slut-shaming, such as with Bonnie’s character in “The One at the Beach,” women’s enjoyment of sex is talked about plainly on television.
In fact, the women know even more about the men sometimes, such as when they teach Joey to be “generous” to his girlfriend and when Monica teaches Chandler about the erogenous zones. But despite enjoying sex, the women are still treated as responsible adults.
Does Not Hold Up: Oversexualizing Women … and Sometimes MenNBCEveryone knows that Joey is a womanizer, but there are so many quotes of his and the guys’ that simply do not hold up because of how they talk about women as objects. In “The One with the Free Porn,” Joey and Chandler refuse to look away from the television. But as we know today, glorifying free pornography can have its ramifications to those working in the industry. While talking about pornography should be normalized, it’s only spoken about from the male gaze in Friends, making it feel icky every time it’s mentioned, such as when Monica rents Chandler a pornographic video for Valentine’s Day.
Throughout the show, Joey dates so many women that even he doesn’t remember their names. And if any of us were friends with a guy like Joey today, every girl we know would be saying how problematic he is. He was a f–kboy before the term was even invented, and even by the end of Friends’s ten seasons, he has very little growth in that department.
Does Hold Up: Suicide and Death as a Subject MatterNBCMost sitcoms would never even touch death, but with a character like Phoebe, that’s nearly impossible. Phoebe’s mom took her own life when Phoebe was just a young teen, leaving Phoebe and her twin sister out on the streets to fend for themselves. While there are some insensitive jokes around the topic, most of the time, it’s handled with both care and dark humor, such as Phoebe’s Christmas tradition of putting out a skull, or how Phoebe sings about death to children in “The One After the Super Bowl: Part 1.”
The way the writers handle suicide is most evident in “The One Where Rosita Dies,” in which Phoebe encounters a man named Earl (Jason Alexander) who wants to take his own life. However, because of her own experience, Phoebe talks him out of it. By showing this on television in 2001, when even talking about mental health was still taboo, Friends was and always will be incredibly progressive.
Love has the potential to produce massive pain or pleasure.
We risk the pain in the hopes of gaining that pleasure but most of the time, it all goes awry.
I can’t guarantee you’ll never feel the pain, but I can help you feel a lot less of it but teaching you a few valuable skills that will help you navigate through the often overwhelming dating waters without being crushed or defeated. And actually, this mindset shift may even help you get exactly what it is you want (it did for me, as you’ll learn later in this article!).
A little while back I met up with some girlfriends to catch up. I love meeting up with my single girlfriends because: A) As a mom, I don’t get as much adult interaction as I crave! And B) I get a lot of new material, let’s be honest!
Basically, one of my friends met a guy and they hit it off. The catch is that he lives in a different country. After they parted ways they continued to stay in touch and had regular Skype dates. Eventually, they planned a weekend where they would meet up in person. Everything went great, their connection was strong, but on the flight home my friend started to panic.
She was terrified that things were going too well and what if something went wrong? What if he stopped liking her? What if the distance became too much? What if he started pulling away? And he didn’t even mention when they would see each other again, that’s a bad sign! Oh no, it must mean he doesn’t want to see her again, that he isn’t serious, that she’s going to get hurt. And if she gets hurt again, then what will she do?
This is basically what flooded her mind for the entire six-hour flight.
Now onto another friend. She met a guy online a while back and two weeks later they were boyfriend/girlfriend. I was concerned about the pace of the relationship, but she seemed happy so I let it be. And she was so happy.
He was everything she has ever wanted and she really thought this was it. Now you can imagine her utter shock when after four months of dating bliss he showed up one day and dumped her. It seemed they were in two completely different relationships. In hers, she was happy and everything was great and she had never been treated so well by a guy. In his, he was unhappy and felt unappreciated and resented her for various things. She had no idea he was feeling any of this, and she is not an oblivious person!
She was absolutely beyond repair distraught for many months.
But time marched on and she started to bounce back, but not really. She was still thinking about her ex and couldn’t let it go. Then suddenly he was back in the picture.
They started seeing each other again but weren’t “official.” This went on for several months and she was really frustrated. It was especially surprising given how quick he was to call her his girlfriend the first time around. Then one day our other good friend came across him on a dating app and my friend totally freaked. It was clear that he wasn’t in it, that he wasn’t serious, that he had some major issues to deal with.
The red flags were there all along, and if it wasn’t apparent to her, I pointed them all out after the first time they broke up! I saw right through her ex from the beginning. It’s not that I didn’t think he was a good guy, I’m sure he could be, but he was a flagrant damage case. He had way too many issues and until he solves them, he will never be able to be in a relationship. Period.
She knew all this, but she still went back, and she got hurt all over again.
When we were having our catch up, she expressed frustration with herself for not being over it by now (this was a few months after their second breakup). Why was it still bothering her? Why couldn’t she let it go? Why does she still think about him?
It was pretty obvious to me what the problem was in both of these scenarios, even though the situations are vastly different. It’s something I write about a lot.
Both girls attached way too much to the outcome. They invested in fantasy futures and put too much weight in their investment.
Now it was perfectly clear in my mind, but when I said this to them they were both a little confused. What do you mean? How can you not invest?
Let’s break it down further.
For the first friend, my advice was simple: she needed to gain control over her thoughts. She needed to say to herself: I am fine, everything is OK. I was OK before I met this guy and I’ll be fine if things don’t work out.
What she was doing is the opposite. She was getting overly invested in a relationship that didn’t even exist just yet. She was making herself feel like the world was going to end if she didn’t hear from him again, or if things didn’t work out. Notice I say making herself feel. This was entirely her doing, he did nothing to create such panic and fear within her. When she heard me say this, she eased up a lot. “Wow, you’re right. I’ll be FINE!”
Onto the next. So this is something I’ve done and many of you have done.
You meet a great guy—finally—and you get really excited. And it’s not like you’re delusional, he’s really into you too! Everything is great! You’re official, you meet the parents, you share your deep thoughts and feelings, it’s all great. But then it all goes wildly off track. It happens so fast you don’t even realize what just happened. You try to ignore the red flags because you need this to work. You don’t want to start all over again, to go back out there and sift through all the losers to find that one gem who might have potential. You already found him and you won’t let this go!
But sometimes you don’t have a choice. He lets go and you can’t do anything about it.
What you need to do, especially in an early relationship when you don’t really know the other person, is mentally keep your options open. I did this with my husband because I had been hurt so many times before and I didn’t want to mess this up. After our first date, it was clear this was something. But I wasn’t going to allow myself to be swept away into fantasy land.
Instead, I told myself that yes, I was excited and wow, we have such a strong connection, and woah, I can’t believe our date was almost eight hours long … and it would be great if this works out, it would be so romantic especially since we dated in high-school and he was my first love … but if it doesn’t work out I WILL BE FINE.
Before we went out on our first date I was casually talking to two other guys who were interested in dating me.
One of them lived in another state and we had been trying to work out the logistics, the other had been traveling a lot and was finally getting settled back in. Before I could go out with either of them I went on a date with my husband.
While I wanted to call it off with the other two, I didn’t. Even though I didn’t think either was right for me, I let myself envision a possible future with both. I didn’t attach to any particular outcome. Either I would end up with my high school sweetheart, and aw how sweet that would be?! Or I would end up with the guy who lives down south, and that would be cool! Or maybe I would end up with bachelor number 3 who lives a few blocks away from me and also traveled to Italy over the summer and was there at the exact same time as me and what a crazy coincidence! Or I’ll end up single for longer and that’s not so bad! I honestly loved being single, I had a blast and would have been fine staying that way.
I knew no matter what, I would be OK. Everything would be OK. I didn’t get so caught up in possible future scenarios, I entertained the various ways things could go down, and I was happy with all the possible outcomes. And because I wasn’t worried about the future, I could enjoy the present. A few weeks into dating my husband, things were getting serious (as they say, when you know you know!) and I never went out with the other guys.
Throughout the relationship, I made an effort to just enjoy it and not freak myself out over the prospect of things not working out. I decided not to solve any problems until there were problems to solve and fortunately, things worked out pretty nicely.
So that’s how it’s done. That’s what I mean when I say don’t attach to the outcome, don’t engage in a fantasy future, just be present.
That’s how to enjoy dating and relationships without becoming jaded or desperate or a battered shell of your former self. It’s about taking control over your thoughts and learning to be OK and to trust the timing of your life.
Nothing beats a good gothic romance to get the blood pumping, and these are the 7 best movies in the genre.
I never thought I would write this sentence, but there is unrest in the Gothic romance fan community this week. The famously tall Jacob Elordi has been cast as Heathcliff in Emerald Fennell’s upcoming adaptation of Wuthering Heights; however, Heathcliff is described as dark-skinned and of average height in Emily Brontë’s original novel. Guess which part of this is making people mad. (It’s not the height difference.) Also, I thought Elordi was canceled after assaulting that radio producer in February, but maybe the police were just dazzled by his incredible tallness or something because he’s clearly fine.
Anyway, if y’all want to watch a movie version of Wuthering Heights, then you should just watch the 2011 version in which Heathcliff is actually black, since Emerald Fennell already has enough money. Or you can just watch these seven other gothic romances instead.
Jane Eyre (2011)Universal PicturesSpeaking of the Brontë sisters, Wuthering Heights is not the only adaptation of a Brontë novel that came out in 2011. There was also Jane Eyre, which starred Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska as Edward Rochester and the titular Jane in a misty English landscape populated by exquisite shadows. Elegant, clever, haunting, and – importantly – romantic, the movie did its source novel justice. It will make you alternately swoon and shudder.
Crimson Peak (2015)Universal PicturesSpeaking of Mia Wasikowska, she starred in another gothic romance in 2015: Crimson Peak. Directed by Guillermo del Toro, the movie pairs its nightmarish production design with a compellingly distressing story about a writer who falls in love with the wrong guy. Sources tell me that it is a documentary about my life.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)Columbia PicturesSpeaking of nightmarish production designs, 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula is another great Gothic entry. With a shadowy castle, a Dracula in whiteface, and a catatonic Keanu Reeves, this Francis Ford Coppola-directed adaptation is the hottest nightclub this October. Plus, like any good Gothic romance, it features Winona Ryder as a pale, quivering scared person. Just try to ignore Reeves’ British accent, which is best seen and not heard.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)20th Century FoxSpeaking of Winona Ryder, this classic 1990 Tim Burton flick features her as the suburban love interest of the titular spiky humanoid played by Johnny Depp. Taking inspiration from Frankenstein, the movie expertly layers on themes of loneliness and depression that are typical of so many great Gothic romances. The movie also has enough disconcerting imagery to fill an entire year of night cheese-induced nightmares.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Paramount PicturesSpeaking of Johnny Depp, his turn opposite the delightful Christina Ricci in the 1999 Gothic horror-romance Sleepy Hollow is pure ‘90s camp, but with Tim Burton’s characteristic flair. Murky without being incomprehensible, and gloomy without being dull, the movie’s definitive take on Ichabod Crane will make you laugh, sigh, and shiver in equal measure. On top of that, there’s no shortage of jarring violence, and Danny Elfman’s score is to die for.
Corpse Bride (2005)Warner Bros.Speaking of Danny Elfman, he teamed up with Johnny Depp and TIm Burton yet again to deliver the thrills and chills in 2005’s Corpse Bride, a dreamy stop-motion curio starring Depp as a nervous wreck who accidentally sets his fiancée’s dress on fire and then gets kidnapped by a horny corpse. (If only this could have happened to him in real life … #TeamAmber.) Still, despite this movie’s whimsicality, it is Gothic at its core – it’s about a lovelorn dead girl, after all. Plus, Helena Bonham Carter is great at voicing the titular corpse bride. She somehow lends humor and heart to this decaying corpse with a partially deformed face.
The Phantom of the Opera (2004)Warner Bros.Speaking of partially deformed faces, the Phantom in the 2004 movie musical The Phantom of the Opera also has one! OK, so that transition wasn’t as smooth, but it was the last one, so chill. Anyway, I can’t speak to this film’s cinematic merits so much as its hunk-ematic merits: Gerard Butler is incredibly sexy as the Phantom, even when he’s shout-singing like a musical Soul Cycle instructor. Thus, when he inevitably whisks Christine (Emmy Rossum) away to his beautifully scored sex dungeon, the Gothic romance sparks come hot and fast. Their duet in “Past the Point of No Return” is even sexier. However, I cannot stress enough that you should only see this movie if you like musicals. If you remove the music, then you just have 30 minutes of Gerard Butler growling, and at that point, you might as well just watch 300 since at least he’s shirtless in that.
For a moment, let’s set aside the fact that you’re probably more loved than you realize. You might not be in a relationship, but someone could be crushing on you from afar. You might not see your friends every single day but they could be thinking of you right now. You might not keep in touch with certain family members but they might be missing you madly. You might feel like no one cares but there is love all around you.
Even if you have no one right now, your existence is still worthwhile. You still have value. Your thoughts still matter. Your happiness still matters. You can’t give up on yourself because you’re too busy worrying about everyone else’s opinions. What other people think of you doesn’t make a difference. All that matters is whether you love yourself, respect yourself, take care of yourself. You might have a love-hate relationship with yourself, but that can change. You can change.
Even if you have no one right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t have anyone in the future. You could meet your new best friend tomorrow. But you need to put yourself out there. And that’s not as scary as it sounds. You don’t have to walk up to strangers and introduce yourself. You can simply go to the coffee shop, go about your daily chores, and stay open to the idea of interacting with others. Instead of keeping your head down and wearing headphones, look others in the eye and smile. Interact, even if it’s on the most basic level. There are some cruel people in this world who only want to tear you down, but there are beautiful people, too. And they aren’t as far away as you might think.
Even if you have no one right now, you have yourself, and that’s the one person you should focus on the most. You can’t force anyone else to fall in love with you or become best friends with you. You have no control over their behaviors. But you have complete control over your own. Even though your insecurities might get the best of you at times, you can work toward changing the way you look at the person in the mirror. Start treating yourself with more kindness. Compliment the areas you love about yourself and accept the pieces you cannot stand. Remember that you are a wonderful, worthwhile human being, even on the days when you’re feeling your lowest. Your value doesn’t come from how many people are friends with you on social media or how many party invites you get on weekends. Your worth comes from within.
There are probably plenty of people out there who love you dearly, who want what’s best for you and wish you realized how much they care — but even if you have no one, that’s okay. So many people feel like they’re on an island. So many people are searching for a connection. You aren’t alone in your feelings, even though it might feel like it right now. You need to believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Hold on. Soon, everything is going to be okay. You can’t give up on yourself.
In need of a little melody with your macabre, a little harmony in your haunt? Spooky season is the perfect time to cuddle up on the couch and hum along to skeletal songstresses and wallowing witches. So, we’ve got you covered with must-watch movie musicals this Halloween season.
‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ 1975 | Hulu“It’s astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll,” so lean in deeper as Dr. Frank-N-Furter beckons you via his plan to make a man with “blonde hair and a tan.” The Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of the campiest, quirkiest, genre-bending creations ever produced. The science fiction, horror, musical, comedy, romance is a sexually-explosive joyride from start to finish boasting sing-a-long tunes like “Time Warp” and “Sweet Transvestite,” as well as an upbeat, head-bopping rock ballad from the likes of Meat Loaf, who bursts onto the screen in a cheetah-print adorned leather vest on an engine-growling motorcycle.
It’s ridiculous. It’s a larger-than-life irreverent, darkly comedic musical that challenges societal norms while celebrating the queer community and relegating the traditional to the fringes of the frame…for once. Nothing pairs better with Rock N’ Roll than rebellion.
‘Little Shop of Horrors’ 1986 | MaxPaying homage to B-movie horror films, Little Shop of Horrors boasts a black-and-white opening sequence akin to Night of the Living Dead and The Blob, as well as a seemingly innocuous plant that transforms into a monstrous creature, pulling inspiration from the likes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Day of the Triffids.
The characters intentionally embody B-movie archetypes, like Seymour the Mad Scientist and Audrey the Damsel in Distress, yet with a satirical delivery and a tragicomic narrative, Little Shop of Horrors becomes a melodramatic masterpiece in its own right.
Not to mention, Ellen Greene’s loveable and worship-worthy performance as Audrey. She sings “Somewhere That’s Green” — cueing audiences into her simple desires far from Skid Row — with humor and heart. She shifts seamlessly from the beatific expression resulting from her 12-inch TV-screen fantasy to the despondent disappointment at her current predicament. She can get you to cackle while envisioning a “washer and a dryer,” right before she gets you to tear up. With a perfect mix of slow numbers and faster, patter-style songs, it has everything you could want in a movie musical — with a healthy heaping of the supernatural.
‘Hocus Pocus’ 1993 and ‘Hocus Pocus 2’ 2022 | Disney+ Though neither of these movies feature musical numbers from start to finish, both include a couple of theatrical performances that warrant their place on the list. Not to mention, the multi-hyphenate living legend, the Divine Miss M, is garbed in 17th-century attire and sports a buck-toothed smile — which only adds to her witchy delivery of songs like “I Put a Spell on You” and “One Way or Another” (which boast adjusted lyrics to account for the narratives at play).
Bette Midler’s Winifred plays the leader of the pack among her trifecta. Her sisters, the dimwitted and boy-crazed Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker) and the obedient and timid Mary (Kathy Najimy) operate as her near-useless but beloved henchmen. It’s a family-friendly one-two punch perfect for a night in. The witches are determined to suck the youth out of Salem’s children, breathing in their souls with pursed lips as if trying to suck a thick milkshake through a straw). In short, the film’s whimsical nature and Bette Midler’s embodiment of mischief meets impatience lends way to a comic villainy that maintains the film’s light-hearted tone despite the witches’ grim assault on the innocent youth.
‘Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas’ 1993 | Disney+ Tim Burton’s quirky gothic aesthetic is on display once again in the stop-motion ‘90s hit The Nightmare Before Christmas. Featuring surreal landscapes via twisted trees and crooked buildings, the film carries a dreamlike quality that complements the magical creatures of Halloween Town, which range from ghosts and werewolves to vampires and witches.
It’s got a generally eerie atmosphere — at least while in Halloween Town — and features gothic rock songs to really sell the setting. When in Christmas Town, the songs shift to a more jazzy vibe with swing elements that augment Christmas Town’s lively nature. The musical also features the classic ballads, giving characters time to lament audiences with their emotional struggles. And, of course, the villain Oogie Boogie has a cabaret-style anthem with many a cackle and vocal intonation to indicate sarcasm, creating a memorably playful baddie. The film is here to tell us why Christmas (and Halloween) are special outside of their commercialization, and each song carries viewers through such important yet oft-forgotten thematic undertones.
‘Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street’ 2007 | HuluTim Burton is at it again with source material that beckoned his distinctive touch and dark flair. Based on the Stephen Sondheim musical of the same name, the movie follows a wronged Barber seeking revenge. He teams up with the pie-shop-owning Mrs. Lovett and the plan is pretty straightforward: he’ll slit the throats of those who come for a shave, and she’ll put ‘em in her meat pies. Nothing’s better than a little Royal Marine…the only problem is “it tastes of wherever it’s been.”
Though the movie eschews some of the musical’s beloved theatricality and comedic extravagance, it’s a bloody beguiling take on the macabre tale. A story of love and justice surges to the surface in the chemistry between Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, who make up for what they lack in musicality with conviction. Sondheim’s magnum opus, featuring classics like “A Little Priest,” “Not While I’m Around,” and “The Worst Pies in London,” receives a fresh makeover in the hands of Burton that, though slightly predictable given the director’s proclivities, still makes for a blood-splattering, serenading good time.
‘Into the Woods’ 2014 | Disney+ Yet another Sondheim interpretation, Into the Woods blends multiple fairytales — Cinderella, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood, and more — into a story about wishes and consequences, loss and grief, and the ambiguity inherent to good and evil.
With Meryl Streep as the cantankerous-turned-captivating Witch, Anna Kendrick as the yearning and conflicted Cinderella, and Johnny Depp as the sultry and scheming Wolf, the film boasts many a memorable musical number. Sondheim’s lyrics, as always, range from poignant and reflective to hopeful yet doubtful or regretful and accusatory — depending on the character at play. He is a wordsmith whose grasp on humanity comes pouring out of his lyrics and, with this all-star ensemble, his nuanced lyrics are in capable hands. From “Stay With Me” and “No One Is Alone” to “Agony” and “Hello, Little Girl,” you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder, you’ll dream, you’ll feel, you’ll fester, you’ll question. You’ll be fully alive, for that is the power of Sondheim.
To celebrate 30 years of Friends, we’ve picked the 30 best jokes over the course of the Emmy-winning series’ 10 seasons.
Oh. My. Gawd. Have there really been three full decades of Friends? Thanks to the sitcom’s creators, Marta Kauffman and David Crane, some of its most memorable jokes have been quoted around the world. They even coined the “friend zone” and created a whole new way of picking people up: “How you doin?”
But Friends also changed the standard of joke-writing in sitcoms, inspiring later favorites like How I Met Your Mother, New Girl, and more. So to celebrate 30 years of Friends, we’ve picked the 30 best jokes (in no particular order) over the course of the Emmy-winning series’ 10 seasons.
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The Joke with the Creepy Tailor (Season 2, Episode 1)Joey recommends his tailor to Chandler, who demonstrates the definite “cupping” right up to his intimate parts. “That’s how they do pants!” Joey insists. Looking to Ross for validation he asks if that’s how a tailor measures pants. Ross confirms, “Yes. Yes, it is… In prison!”
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The Scene with the Bagpipes (Season 7, Episode 15)Ross teases his wedding gift for Monica and Chandler — he’s going to play “Celebration” by Kool & the Gang at the wedding … on the bagpipes. It sounds like a dying cat. But this is a two-in-one joke, because Phoebe singing along to the song without knowing the words is so hilarious that it’s rumored the cast went off-script laughing with their genuine reactions. As Monica and Chandler try to work out what to do, Monica asks, “Why is your family Scottish?” to which Chandler responds, “Why is your family Ross?”
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The Joke When Rachel Enters (Season 1, Episode 1)The Friends pilot is arguably one of the best pilots in sitcom history, and one of its earliest jokes is one of the smartest. After Ross states, “I just want to be married,” Rachel enters Central Perk in her wedding dress. Chandler then tries his hand at the same luck: “And I just want a million dollars!” But the best part is when Ross gets up to greet Rachel, his umbrella pops open, representing his potential male excitement, foreshadowing their relationship, and creating a fun bit of physical comedy.
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The Joke Where Joey Misunderstands the Question (Season 8, Episode 4)Ross approaches Joey to talk about his dry spell, asking, “Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something I’m really uncomfortable talking about.” But Joey misunderstands the question, thinking Ross needs a topic, so he suggests, “Sure, what? How about uh, you showering with your mom?” It’s always such an unexpected silly laugh.
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The One with Matthew Perry’s Favorite Joke (Season 2, Episode 1)The creepy tailor created a lot of humor for Friends. Joey tries to remember the first time he went to Frankie the Tailor, oscillating multiple times about how old he was. Chandler simply states, “You have to stop the Q-Tip when there’s resistance!” in one of the show’s smartest and quickest jokes. In 2017, Matthew Perry told Good Morning America that it was his favorite joke of the show.
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The Scene with the Scary Clowns (Season 2, Episode 6)Chandler and Joey are on baby-watch caring for Ben when they accidentally leave him on the public New York City bus. When they go to pick him up from Port Authority, there’s another baby there and they can’t tell the difference between the two babies. One is dressed in ducks and the other in clowns; Chandler and Joey decide to flip for it. “Ducks is ‘Heads’ because ducks have heads,” Joey says. “What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?” Chandler hilariously retorts.
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The Time When Judy Solves Everyone’s Problems (Season 6, Episode 9)Judy and Jack Gellar go to Monica and Chandler’s apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving, but Monica hasn’t told her parents that she and Chandler are dating, let alone living together. Ross lied to his parents and blamed the smell of weed in his college dorm on Chandler. Phoebe has a crush on Jacques Cousteau. Rachel accidentally put meat in the trifle and Joey wants to go to a party with his dancer roommate. Luckily, Judy saves the day with her iconic speech, piecing together every joke in the episode.
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The Bit Where Ross Slinks Under the Bed (Season 6, Episode 22)Ross dates his college student, Elizabeth, whose dad, Paul, (Bruce Willis) is not happy about their relationship. So when Ross and Elizabeth almost bump into Paul and Rachel during a weekend away at Elizabeth’s family home, Ross is forced to hide under Paul’s bed. But to do it surreptitiously, David Schwimmer employs his best physical comedy skills in a hilarious physical joke, slinking down and under the bed, before imitating Paul’s embarrassing routine to amp himself up.
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The Joke with Rachel’s “Not a Cat” (Season 5, Episode 21)Rachel decides to bring home a “cat,” but it’s a Persian show cat, meaning it’s hairless. “That is not a cat,” Joey says in fear. “Yes it is,” Rachel insists. “Why is it inside out?” Ross asks in a creative joke about the uniqueness of hairless cats.
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The Joke Where Joey Is Extra Prepared (Season 5, Episode 5)The first time Rachel and Ross had a blowout fight, the other four friends get locked in Monica’s bedroom for hours on end. So when Ross has to tell Rachel about Emily’s ultimatum, Joey pulls out his secret stash of preparedness, full of magazines, Doritos, and … condoms. He justifies it: “You don’t know how long we’re going to be in here. We might have to repopulate the Earth,” to which Chandler astutely responds, “And condoms are the way to do that?”
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The Scene When Monica Teaches Chandler About the Female Orgasm (Season 4, Episode 11)Not only is this a great moment of foreshadowing for Chandler and Monica’s future relationship, but when he dates Kathy, he’s nervous to please her properly. Luckily, Monica has the perfect advice. While we don’t see the figurine she draws and labels with numbers 1-7 to represent the seven erogenous zones, the scene when she gives him the “instructions” leads to one of the show’s funniest moments, ending in “seven, seven, seven, seven!”
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The Time When “Joey Logic” Wins Out (Season 7, Episode 8)“Joey logic” is when something is so dumb, it’s actually smart, such as when he coins the term, a “moo point.” While he means to say a “moot point” to explain away Tag’s potential feelings for Rachel, he says “moo point” and logics it out by saying it’s like a “cow’s opinion” because it doesn’t matter. What could be smarter?
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The Joke When Chandler Thinks Out Loud (Season 1, Episode 1)The pilot is really full of some of the show’s best written jokes. When Ross talks about his wife leaving him for another woman, Chandler nonchalantly says, “I wish I were a lesbian.” When everyone looks at him, shocked, he surprises himself: “Did I just say that out loud?” Yes, Mr. Bing, yes you did.
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The Joke Phoebe Tells to Make Some Money (Season 6, Episode 3)30 years ago, email wasn’t a thing the way it is in 2024. In fact, even during Season 6, which aired in 1999, not everyone had a household computer. With her natural charm and humor, Phoebe finishes her busking set by saying, “If you wanna receive emails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.”
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The One with the Dirtiest Joke of the Show (Season 6, Episode 9)In the same Thanksgiving episode as Judy’s iconic speech, the friends realize the reason Rachel made the trifle wrong is because the cooking book’s pages were stuck together. After learning this, Joey shouts, “Chandler!” implying that the book provided him with some adult entertainment. Apparently, the show’s creators have said that it’s the dirtiest joke of the show.
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The Joke with the Reference to ‘Of Mice and Men’ (Season 3, Episode 21)Chandler and Joey adopt the chick and the duck, but when Joey squeezes the chick a little too hard, Chandler says, “Easy Lennie.” It’s a dark, yet hilarious and astute reference to John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men, in which Lennie accidentally kills his puppy by cuddling it too hard.
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The Time Joey Misunderstands a Common Word (Season 5, Episode 13)Rachel offers a “man’s bag” to Joey, and when he’s surprised it looks good, she reiterates, “Exactly! Unisex.” But Joey misunderstands and responds, “Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.” That might be the end of the joke for some sitcoms, but not Friends. Rachel clarifies, “No, no, Joey. U-N-I-sex.” Once again, Joey misunderstands, so he says, “Ain’t gonna say no to that.”
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The Thought Chandler Has About Donald Duck (Season 3, Episode 2)In a classic Friends bottle episode, Chandler says one of his thoughts out loud as he waits for the gang to get ready. “You know what’s weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he’s getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?” What is that about?
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The Time Joey Wore All of Chandler’s Clothes (Season 3, Episode 2)In another hilarious moment from the same bottle episode, Chandler and Joey fight over the chair (and its cushion, which is the chair’s “essence”). Chandler steals Joey’s underwear to make him go commando in a rented tux, so Joey does the “opposite” by wearing all of Chandler’s clothes. “Look at me, I’m Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?”
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The Joke When Joey Mixed up Homosapiens and Homosexuals (Season 3, Episode 8)Joey’s humor almost always comes from little misunderstandings. In Ross’s line of work as a paleontologist, he uses scientific language to describe humans. So, when working at the museum, Joey asks, “If homo sapiens were in fact HOMO sapiens – is that why they’re extinct?” Ross responds, “Joey, homo sapiens are people!” to explain that the word means “humans.” But Joey once again misunderstands and responds like a true ally, “Hey, I’m not judging.”
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The Time When Ross Rolls Over the Juice Box (Season 2, Episode 15)Ross brings Rachel to the planetarium for one of their first dates. During a romantic evening under the “stars,” the two start to kiss. Rachel stops after feeling a wet spot, and consoles Ross, “Oh, honey, that’s okay!” thinking that he got a little too excited. “Oh… you just rolled over the juice box!” Ross relieves her (and us!)
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The Bit with the Bracelet (Season 2, Episode 14)When Joey gives Chandler an ugly bracelet to signify their friendship, he expects that it will boost Chandler’s luck with the ladies. So when he asks, “Do you know what this will do for your sex life?” Chandler responds, “Well it will slow me down a little at first, but once I get used to the weight, I’ll be back on track,” doubly joking about how it will both deter women and make his arm a little heavier when he’s alone.
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The Joke After Joey Gets Robbed (Season 4, Episode 2)When Joey tries to sell the entertainment unit he built, Chandler comes home to an empty apartment with Joey stuck inside the unit. Joey explains that the robber (a potential buyer) didn’t think a grown man could fit inside the cabinet, so Joey crawled in to show him. Then, whoever it was locked Joey in and took everything. Angrily, Joey says, “If I ever see that guy again, you know what I’m gonna do?” to which Chandler sarcastically responds, “Bend over?!”
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The Scene When Chandler Comforts Joey (Season 1, Episode 13)Joey worries that he’s going to turn out like his father, who’s been having a years-long affair with another woman. But Chandler tells the perfect joke when comforting Joey with a classic misdirect: “When the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say ‘No thanks, I’m married.'”
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The One with Ken Adams (Season 8, Episode 4)In one of the best call-backs in the series, this episode revolves around a magical “hook-up story” the gang uses about a backpacking trip through Europe in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. Joey teaches Ross the story after he’s had a dry few months, but when Ross and Rachel are working on Monica and Chandler’s wedding invitations, Rachel starts to tell Ross the story as a move. When the friends watch back what happened, Rachel said her friend heard it from a guy named “Ken Adams,” to which Joey raises his hand and says that he’s Ken Adams!
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The Scene When Rachel Finds Monica’s Lunch Receipt (Season 2, Episode 2)Monica goes out to lunch with Julie, Ross’s new girlfriend, despite Rachel’s feelings for Ross. It’s the biggest betrayal and a brilliant mapping of an affair on a friendship. The writers perfectly capture a romantic couple’s fight through Rachel and Monica’s fight, turning a tense moment into some of the show’s best comedy. The heightened acting and emotion only adds to the genius of the scene.
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The One Where Everybody Knows and Nobody Knows (Season 5, Episode 14)When everybody finds out that Monica and Chandler are hooking up, Phoebe decides it would be more fun to play some games with their heads instead of telling them she and Rachel found out. In one of the show’s highest-rated and funniest episodes with a final apex of Chandler and Phoebe’s stand-off date, the tagline is, “They don’t know that we know they know we know,” or any version of that.
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The Joke About Chandler’s Television Guide (Season 4, Episode 12)In the ultimate game of who knows who best, Ross asks Rachel and Monica which name appears on the address label. The answer is hilariously, “Chanandler Bong,” which Chandler corrects: “Actually, it’s Miss Chanandler Bong.”
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The Joke Where Door Inventors Are Pleased (Season 3, Episode 19)Rachel goes on a date with Mark, so Ross peeps through the guys’ peephole across the hall. David Schwimmer’s physical comedy as he starfishes across the door to see what happens between Rachel and Mark. As they go into Rachel’s apartment and close the door, Ross complains to Chandler that he can no longer see anything. “And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave,” Chandler rebuts.
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The Joke About Last Names (Season 3, Episode 19)In the same episode, Phoebe has some confusion about last names ending in “man.” She asks Chandler, “Why isn’t it Spiderman? You know like Goldman, Silverman,” pronouncing it like a last name. So Chandler explains, “It’s not like Phil Spidermen. He’s a spider man. You know like Goldman is a last name but there’s no gold man.” But Phoebe gets excited: “There should be a gold man!”
There may not be a gold man, but Friends is definitely a golden series.
My longest running relationship, outside of the one I have with myself, is the one I have with my toilet and my bathroom.
Growing up I always said I would not be one of those love-struck women who only thinks of their partner all the time. Yet here I am at the age of 29 having a hard time doing anything without my partner. She is always there for me when my Crohn’s Disease is at my worst and provides me with that security I need. I am of course referencing the long-term relationship I am in with my own bathroom. I always hoped it would get easier as the years went on, that society would eventually catch up on the number of public toilets that are needed and could start building them to be more comfortable to those that use them frequently. Instead, I am stuck in a co-dependent relationship that I wish I could get out of but have yet to be reassured that I will find something comparable.
I have had Inflammatory Bowel Disease, ie Crohn’s Disease for 20 years now. When I was 15 years old I had 13 inches of my small intestine removed, along with half of my bladder reconstructed with my own fat due to fistulas growing between the two. It took me over a year to fully recover from it where most of that year was spent bedridden. Currently I have another fistula, this time in the coveted perianal region, which makes me think I need to use the restroom more often than I do. My bathroom needs are barely apparent to myself sometimes, because honestly so many of my days are different. The one fact remains true though-I love my bathroom more than any of the ones I see out in the world.
I am not alone in this relationship status, nor with the issues relating to bathroom needs. The IBD community lives on the same spectrum of unpredictable urgency days or the opposite side of being constipated. Either side of the spectrum leads us to needing more time in the bathroom to relax to be able to go. We cannot forget about our bag community either, where IBD baddies need to have proper toilets to be able to drain their ostomies and have areas where they can lay out their materials for a change.
My bathroom and I have been through a lot, and she knows how to calm me down to get me to go. This summer has not been helpful for me trying to grow outside of this relationship. I have found myself in a bit of a flare, running to my partner (toilet) often, and spending more time than I wanted to with her. But every time I try and venture off into the unknown, I have been greeted with what is unfortunately a part of the dating scene now. Lines, out of order signs, no poo-pouri, or only one toilet available. I have been convinced I will never get out of this relationship.
My life is an endless series of trying to learn how to be ok with all of this, while still enjoying my life. It is a hard balance of learning how to live outside of this relationship, while also experiencing the pain and discomfort of both my disease and this codependency. I have promised myself I will keep fighting for equality until all bathrooms feel like my own relationship.
I am turning towards finding things that will work for me, while the US finds a way to start changing their public bathroom policies. I will keep speaking up and reporting every awful experience I have out in public because there are laws out there to protect our community, such as Ally’s law which states that patients have the right to use an employee only restroom when another one is not immediately available. In the meantime though, I am tired, and want to feel like a real human who can live her life to the fullest. Instead I find myself scanning every new place I am in for the bathrooms, and crossing my fingers that urgency will not come out and scare me. I want my only fears to be that my long term partner is going to be jealous of all of the public restrooms I use, and that I will make it in time to use the toilet when I am experiencing urgency. Humans should not have to fear not finding a place to do what we all do—poop.
Ryan Murphy’s latest horror drama, Grotesquerie, shocks to the point in which everyone wonders if this might be a step too far for the American Horror Story co-creator.
Showrunner and writer Ryan Murphy loves to roll the dice and deliver unhinged stories to unsuspecting viewers. Grotesquerie walks down the same windy, twisty path as other entries in the Murphyverse, following the story of Detective Lois Tryon (Niecy Nash-Betts) and Sister Megan Duval (Micaela Diamond) who hunt down a mysterious serial killer adopting a religious angle. Now, this isn’t the first show – nor will it be the last – to explore this type of concept, but someone better get the buckets of holy water ready, because Murphy appears to be summoning the evil spirit of Valak with this latest series. Also, it needs to be asked: Ryan, are you okay, buddy? Be warned that mild spoilers for Grotesquerie follow.
Experiencing life through Ryan Murphy’s eyes and mindSpeaking at the virtual press conference before the debut of Grotesquerie, Ryan Murphy fielded numerous questions about the show. Everyone remained cagey about what it’s about – and even after a few episodes in, it’s still not quite clear what exactly is taking place. That said, this isn’t unusual for anyone who has watched all 3,567 seasons of American Horror Story. To say Murphy pulls out the rug from under the viewer would be putting it mildly, since he’s more than capable of transporting the audience to an entirely different genre by the second half of a series.
Murphy explained how he wrote all the episodes of Grotesquerie with Jon Robin Baitz and Joe Baken and believes it to be one of his more personal projects. “It was a meditation on what I think is going on in the world and what we’re all going through,” he said. “And how we’re feeling like this existential question: Are these end times? And if so, what can we do to fight and keep our humanity? And those were the things I was writing about.”
While we can agree that the world is in a weird place right now, it still hasn’t gotten to the point where someone recreated a murderous rendition of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper featuring the homeless, such as what happens in Grotesquerie‘s second episode, “True Crime Catholics.” Also, let’s hope no sickos take notes here either. However, Murphy uses visceral and haunting metaphors to drive a biting message home. By crossing the lines of decency and humanity, Murphy provokes and asks the important question: If we, as people, are too far gone from ever going back
Grotesquerie is more Seven than American Horror StoryRyan Murphy’s other works, such as American Horror Story and Ratched, tinker with the grotesque and gruesome; however, nothing quite touches what happens in Grotesquerie‘s opening episode. Murphy portrays Lois Tryon as a broken-down individual. Not only is her husband, Marshall (Courtney B. Vance), in critical condition, but the rest of her life also unravels as she seeks solace at the bottom of every bottle. She isn’t in a good place as it stands and her nerves fray further when she gets called down to a murder scene at a family home.
The scene plays out like a cross between Hannibal and David Fincher’s Seven, as the police piece together a horrifying sequence of events. Not only is the husband murdered, but his head is also severed from the body and cooked in the oven. From there, the assailant feeds him to the petrified family. That’s not the worst of it, though, as the serial killer does something unthinkable to the baby.
Subtly isn’t a tool in Murphy’s arsenal, as he runs the gamut of the macabre and deranged in his storytelling approach. Resultantly, Grotesquerie might be too hot – pardon the awful pun – for some to handle, but there’s a method behind it. Much like Seven, Murphy needs to break down the characters experiencing the horrors and all the emotions that come with it. In Seven, Brad Pitt’s David Mills succumbs to wrath and it changes him. Similarly, in Grotesquerie, some characters won’t ever be the same again after what they witness, but this is all a test of the power of the human spirit and if there’s a limit.
Don’t ever change, Ryan MurphyWhether it’s exploring asylums, covens, or serial killers, Ryan Murphy never shies away from extreme topics. His approach polarizes, but he poses questions that people may never have thought of – or had the courage – to ask. Grotesquerie proves to be no different, even if it does feel like Murphy Mayhem raised to the max.
Clearly, Murphy has a lot on his mind and this show acts as a vehicle for him to grapple with an existential crisis. It shocks the system and widens the eyes, for sure, but according to Murphy, Grotesquerie isn’t all doom and gloom. “I feel like this definitely has raciness and some action, but it’s not cynical,” he said. “It’s about the search for hope and light in a dark place. That’s what ultimately I found and what I was interested in writing about. And it gave me hope.”
All in all, Ryan Murphy appears to be okay for now. However, the same can’t be said about the poor characters in Grotesquerie after what they have been put through here.
Sometimes the dangers of real life can be so much stranger than fiction.
There’s certainly no shortage of mind-boggling stories in the world of true crime. But some crimes are so unusual that it’s hard to believe they’re real. From smooth-talking con artists to big cat mayhem, here are 10 true crime documentaries that prove truth isn’t just stranger than fiction, it can be downright mind-blowing.
The Tinder Swindler (Netflix)NetflixThe Tinder Swindler tells the story of a group of women who believed they swiped right on the perfect catch, only to find out they were royally duped. The docuseries follows the exploits of a smooth-talking con artist who seduced and swindled several victims all across Europe. Promising love and commitment, he managed to pull off a scheme so outrageous, that it’ll make you think twice about your next dating app match.
Don’t Fk With Cats: Hunting an Internet Killer (Netflix)NetflixIf you thought the internet was just for cat videos and memes, boy, are you in for a shock. *Don’t Fk With Cats* starts with a group of web sleuths trying to track down a person who posted videos of himself harming kittens. But what begins as animal cruelty spirals into a twisted game of cat and mouse (pun intended) that ends in murder.
Tiger King (Netflix)NetflixJust when you think you’ve seen it all, Joe Exotic and his crew of big cat enthusiasts come along. Tiger King is like a wild fever dream, with crazy hairstyles, murder plots, and more tigers than you can imagine. And at the center of it all is the intense rivalry between Joe and his big cat nemesis, Carole Baskin. The whole thing is so wild, it’s hard to believe it’s actually real life.
The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst (Max)HBOThe Jinx dives into the sordid world of Robert Durst, a wealthy real estate heir with a trail of suspicious deaths in his wake. The docuseries dives into Durst’s crimes, each one more bizarre than the last. But the real shocker comes at the end, with one of the wildest moments in true crime history. Without giving too much away, let’s just say the twist is something you’d expect from a scripted drama, proving that reality often tells the best stories.
Evil Genius (Netflix)NetflixEvil Genius is about a bank heist involving a pizza delivery guy, a homemade bomb, and a scavenger hunt. It sounds like something out of a quirky crime film. But this story proves that real life can be even crazier. The four-part series digs deep into the “pizza bomber” case, a crime so convoluted, it might make your head spin.
Making a Murderer (Netflix)NetflixIf you think the justice system is cut and dry, Making a Murderer will turn that idea upside down. The series follows Steven Avery, a man who was wrongfully convicted of sexual assault, only to be entangled in another criminal case after his release. With plenty of twists and shoddy police work, this documentary will have you playing detective from your couch. And it may leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about the legal process.
Wild Wild Country (Netflix)NetflixWild Wild Country follows a spiritual guru in a small town in Oregon mixed up with bioterrorism. The series chronicles the rise and fall of Rajneeshpuram, a utopian community that went off the rails spectacularly. From true believers to government officials, this cast of characters proves that reality is often more bizarre than any cult fiction.
The Imposter (Prime Video)Picturehouse EntertainmentThe Imposter is a mind-bending documentary that tells the stranger-than-fiction tale of a French con artist who convinced a Texas family he was their long-lost son. This outrageous story highlights his heinous crime. But it’s also a fascinating exploration of grief and hope, as well as the lengths we’ll go to believe what we want to be true.
Chimp Crazy (Max)HBOChimp Crazy follows Tonia Haddix, a former nurse who leaves behind her medical career to dive into the wild world of exotic animal dealing — and becomes completely obsessed with a Hollywood chimp named Tonka. Directed by Tiger King’s Eric Goode, this four-part series is packed with plenty of monkey business, from PETA lawsuits to intense courtroom battles, and enough twists to leave you stunned. By the end, you’ll be questioning everything you thought you knew about pet ownership, animal rights, and just how far some folks will go for their furry (or in this case, hairy) friends.
Here are several beloved zombie films ranked by your likely chances of survival, from most to least likely.
As with most horror subgenres, it’s easy to sit back and stuff our faces with popcorn and Raisinets while watching a zombie movie, shaking our heads at all the idiotic decisions made by the hapless human characters on-screen. After all, how hard is it to dodge around shambling corpses who can barely walk?
In spite of the admirable confidence expressed by most viewers, zombie movies might just be one of the hardest horror subgenres to survive within. Contending with rampaging zombie hordes, diminishing food and supplies, dwindling resources, and equally desperate fellow survivors, it takes some true preternatural skills (and plenty of luck) to make it out of a zombie film alive. From cult classic comedies to iconic George A. Romero films, here are several beloved zombie films ranked by your likely chances of survival, from most to least likely.
Most Likely: Dawn of the Dead (1978/2004)United Film Distribution CompanyYes, yes, we know – a zombie movie as revolutionary as Dawn of the Dead ranked at the very bottom of our list? But when you come right down to it, the survivors of Dawn of the Dead had it pretty good! Compared to most other zombie films, they never had to brave hazardous environments, forage for food, or put up much of a fight against the zombies (until the very end, anyway). In fact, there aren’t many places we can think of that an average survivor might travel to than an ordinary shopping mall. All you need to do is keep the zombies out and keep yourselves locked in. What could go wrong … right?
Shaun of the Dead (2004)Universal PicturesWhile an altogether comedic movie, there is a clear element of danger in Edgar Wright’s humorously light-hearted take on the traditional zombie format. A nostalgic love letter to the early films of George A. Romero, Shaun of the Dead features a similarly slow-moving depiction of the undead as Dawn of the Dead or Night of the Living Dead before it. For this reason, you stand a far better chance of outrunning your mummified pursuers, so long as you don’t hesitate too long in trying to save any ex-lovers or estranged step parents.
Night of the Living Dead (1968/1990)Continental DistributingIt’s hard to beat a classic, especially when it takes the form of George A. Romero’s genre-defining zombie film, Night of the Living Dead. Popularizing the trope of resurrected corpses with a hankering for human flesh, Night of the Living Dead forever changed the trajectory of cinematic horror, triggering a massive wave of zombie films from the late ‘60s into the early ‘90s. Evaluating it from today’s perspective, the zombies in Night of the Living Dead might appear somewhat tame compared to the gore-covered monsters in Zombieland or 28 Days Later. But that doesn’t mean they’re completely harmless, pursuing their intended prey with the unwavering determination of a T-800.
Zombieland (2009)Sony PicturesWith the zombie resurgence of the 2000s, the malevolent undead took on a drastically altered form. Instead of shambling towards their prospective prey, these new age zombies bolted at their victims with the speed of a drug-fueled gazelle or a cannibalistic toddler. As a result, most of the films on this half of the list feature running zombies, I.E. one of the most terrifying and difficult-to-survive zombie variations out there. In Zombieland, however, all one needs to do is follow the list Columbus devised on how to survive the post-apocalyptic future, including such simple rules as “beware of bathrooms,” “travel light,” and “always carry a change of underwear.”
28 Days Later (2002)Fox SearchlightImagine waking up from a month-long coma and finding the world around you ravaged by a zombie apocalypse. Thrusting viewers into the perspective of a sympathetic and relatable group of survivors, 28 Days Later also introduced audiences to a brand new breed of flesh-eating ghouls. Faster, stronger, and far more agile than the zombies that populated the Living Dead series, 28 Days Later undoubtedly features one of the most frightening portrayals of the infected we’ve seen yet. All this being said, the only chance you have for survival is escaping the United Kingdom as quickly as possible (and whatever you do, don’t trust any shady military broadcasts you happen to hear).
World War Z (2013)Paramount PicturesThough not overarchingly faithful to its source material, World War Z nevertheless offers up a terrifying hypothesis: What if the entire world became overrun by an unending army of zombies? It’s this factor above all else that makes World War Z’s setting so tricky to navigate. In a world where human safe havens are rapidly being demolished, where does one go to find refuge from the undead? If that weren’t enough, World War Z’s infected literally topple over each other in their quest for the next next, racing forward like an insane hive of killer ants pouring from their hills in droves.
Least Likely: 28 Weeks Later (2007)20th Century FoxWhat makes 28 Weeks Later so much more dangerous a setting than 28 Days Later? Easy: the zombies portrayed in the film have had far more time to spread their illness to other regions of the world. As a result, the environment presented in 28 Weeks Later might just be the most grueling to survive in. Instead of the glimmer of hope for humanity’s survival in 28 Days Later or World War Z, in 28 Weeks Later, the zombies have practically already won. While it initially appears the virus might be contained to the United Kingdom, the ending of the film shows that humanity’s chances are futile, with the Rage Virus spreading to France, Europe, and (presumably) the rest of the world.
The reason why so many women struggle to get the relationship they want is that they go after guys who are simply incapable of ever giving it to them.
We get swept up in the wrong things (the damage cases who are just oh so swoon-worthy), and lose sight of what actually matters, of the things that actually determine whether a relationship will last.
We tell ourselves all sorts of lies in order to hang onto something we know isn’t right for us but can’t seem to let go of, because being alone seems like a worse fate.
There are several universal qualities a life partner should have, but for this article, I want to just focus on one.
I remember the exact moment I knew my husband was the one. After about a month of everything being perfect (as they usually are in the beginning), we hit our first conflict. It was nothing major; we just started seeing areas where our personalities clashed and how we process things differently. I tend to be more intellectual and direct and he’s more emotional and his thoughts can be all over the place.
I would get impatient by it, and my impatience was hurtful to him. The details don’t really matter, what matters is I remember the way he brought the issue up and how sincere he was in wanting to work through things in order to get to a better place of understanding. It was a shock to my system, I had never experienced such a thing. In the past, I had always either been easily discarded or got the message that I needed to change and if I didn’t, he would leave.
I have seen countless variations of this kind of scenario: girl is dating guy, things are going great (again, as they often do in the beginning), but then they hit that inevitable point of conflict — maybe she acts needy or maybe he gets distant but suddenly things aren’t as seamless as they were the week before.
Then he decides he can’t hang anymore and tells her he “doesn’t have time for a relationship” or he can’t give her what she needs. The girl racks her brain trying to figure out what she did wrong and what she could have done differently. And then the classic question that has been asked by so many women before: He was so into me at first, what happened?
She thinks if she hadn’t been so needy, if she had been a little more chilled out, if she didn’t do this and instead did that. Really, the only way things would have turned out differently is if she behaved perfectly according to his script, if she never disagreed with him or expressed unhappiness, if she was perfectly in alignment with his thoughts and what he wants in a partner. That sounds reasonable, right? (That’s sarcasm in case it didn’t come across!)
If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky, it means he is lacking in the most important quality that you need in a partner and that is a man who is committed not only to you, but to making it work.
It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on … when you let your guards down … when you can be more of yourself instead of the absolute best, most behaved and restrained version of yourself.
Even the best couples don’t seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection and it has to come from both people.
When a guy is ready to settle down and sees you as a good potential partner, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding. When a guy isn’t serious, or if he just doesn’t like you enough, then he’ll find any excuse to leave. The ones that are worth it are the ones who find reasons to stay.
My husband and I are so different. The way we think and feel is different, the way we communicate is different. At the beginning of our relationship this definitely caused problems but now, after really committing to working on it, we have hit this amazing place of understanding and we are so much more in sync. The differences still exist but we were able to come to a place where we can meet in the middle. Even when things got difficult, I wasn’t any less sure he was the guy for me because of how deeply committed he was to make it work.
At the beginning of our relationship, consumed with the fear that this one would end in the same way so many had before, I expressed my fear that he would just decide it was too much and would leave. And he said, “Look, if it ends, it will be because we both tried our hardest and did all we could and it just couldn’t work. I don’t think that will happen, but that is the only way this wouldn’t work out.”
His words were reassuring, I had never experienced a commitment like that before, but of course, I had to deal with my fears and insecurities internally, but that’s a separate topic for another time!
A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should haves.
I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that but it wouldn’t have mattered if he wasn’t committed to making it work.
There will always be differences, there will always be problems, you will not always behave exactly how he wants a partner to behave (same for him).
A relationship isn’t about finding the perfect match, it’s about finding someone who you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership with. Notice the word form. It’s an active process, it doesn’t just exist. It’s about working together, being a team, and working together to overcome the challenges.
Some people have deal breakers and that’s that. Maybe it’s religion or where to live or lifestyle preferences. But all the other stuff- personality quirks, your nature, your ways of interacting in a social setting, your fundamental traits… either he’s in it or he’s not. And if he’s not, then there is nothing you can do.
- Making. Direct. Eye. Contact. Across. The. Room.
- Rolling up his sleeves so you can see his forearms. RIP.
- Laughing without restraint.
- Holding the door open for others.
- Hugging his friends.
- Pushing back his hair when he’s thinking hard about something.
- Knowing how to apologize.
- Talking to kids with kindness, and then genuinely listening to what the children have to say back.
- Clearly putting effort into his outfits. No more jorts!
- Partaking in a skincare routine that doesn’t involve washing his face with a three-in-one shampoo.
- Randomly addressing you by name in conversation.
- Admitting he doesn’t know something (and then asking you to explain it to him).
- Having a solid book collection.
- Paying attention to the news.
- Asking you to repeat yourself at a loud party while leaning down so he can hear you better.
- Unbridled goofiness.
- Showing interest in your friends and making an effort to get to know them, too.
- Being close with his parents.
- Active listening skills. Bare minimum? Maybe. But it’s still hot!!!
- When he brings up details you shared with him, things even you forgot you had mentioned.
- Double-checking that you’re actually okay with something, whether it’s leaving an event or what restaurant you’re going to eat at that evening.
- Getting morning bedhead.
- Stumbling awake from a dream and looking over at you confused.
- Understanding the stock market.
- Being able to explain the stock market.
- Knowing how to cook (or, at the very least, attempting to learn how to cook well).
- Keeping a clean space.
- Helping with the dishes after a meal.
- Forgetting what he was talking about and then stumbling over his words trying to get the thought back.
- Being able to actually laugh at himself.
- Being open about his mental health.
- Planning unique outings, paying special attention to details and making sure it’s something you’d love to do, too.
- Taking his career seriously.
- Appreciating and understanding art.
- Tipping well.
- Playing with the dog.
- Conversing with bartenders or servers with genuine interest and respect.
- Offering you a bite of his food.
- Asking, “What do you think?“
- Being able to joke around without being mean.
People who make you feel guilty about doing what’s best for yourself.
You need to put your mental health first. If others don’t understand your needs, it’s not your problem. You can’t worry more about their happiness than your comfort. You don’t want to sacrifice your mental health in order to make others like you. Your reputation isn’t as important as your health.
People who talk shit about you on social media.
If someone has a problem with you, they should talk it through with you. They shouldn’t complain about you on social media where there are thousands of eyes watching what they say. Even if they don’t talk about you by name, it’s immature and unacceptable. You deserve better.
People who try to manipulate you into giving them what they want.
Don’t waste time with people who use guilt trips and manipulation to get their way. You should make decisions that suit you the best, not decisions that will cause the least amount of hissy fits. It’s not your job to make others happy. It’s your job to make yourself happy, and sometimes that means letting go people who are no longer serving you.
People who disrespect your boundaries.
If they disrespect your boundaries, especially after you’ve made it clear what makes you uncomfortable, they couldn’t care less about your feelings. They’re too selfish to put themselves in your shoes. They lack empathy, which means they could never understand what you’re going through. They don’t even want to try.
People who only like you when they can control you.
You’re in charge of your own decisions. Your family and friends can’t expect you to agree with them one hundred percent of the time. They can’t expect to keep you on a tight leash. You aren’t theirs to control. You have your own thoughts and opinions and dreams. If they don’t like it when you think for yourself, they don’t like you at all.
People who you need to walk on eggshells around.
You shouldn’t be afraid of what someone is going to say next. You shouldn’t be scared that one wrong move will set them off. If they’re that unpredictable and volatile, there’s no reason to waste time with them. Their good moments aren’t worth the bad ones. You’re better off surrounding yourself with people who are consistent, who will treat you well even when they’re grumpy.
People who make you fight for their approval.
You shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to make someone like you. If they won’t say hello or treat you with respect until you prove your value to them, there is a strange emotional imbalance. You deserve to be treated right because you are a living breathing being, not because you passed some ridiculous test.
People who make you want to rip out your hair.
You don’t need to be friends with everyone. You don’t need to like everyone. If someone gets on your nerves, you don’t need a reason to cut them out of your life. Just do it. You’ll be happier once they’re gone.
One of the biggest hindrances to having a loving, healthy, happy relationship is choosing the wrong guy to be in a relationship with. This number isn’t exact, but I’ve found 95% of a relationship’s success is determined before you even enter into the relationship. It’s about who you choose.
There are a lot of red flags to be mindful of, but there is one that trumps all the rest. Listicle articles can get tedious, and who remembers everything they just read? That’s why I want to point out the one sign that indicates a guy is pretty much an emotional psychopath and you need to steer clear at all costs.
I’ve dated this kind of guy and the ramifications to your sense of self and self-esteem can be devastating.
So what is the one quality to watch out for?
It’s that nothing is ever his fault.Whenever there’s a problem, it’s your fault. If you’re hurt because of something, it’s your fault because you’re too sensitive. If he does something wrong, it’s your fault because you made him upset.
I got to thinking a lot about this topic a few months back when I was stuck in traffic with a divorcee and a social worker (both close friends of mine). We got to talking about personality disorders because the divorcee (who is now happily married to a wonderful man) strongly suspects her ex has Narcissistic Personality Disorder or something similar. The social worker explained that the biggest sign of an emotional psychopath is the inability to see things from the other person’s perspective, ever.
They can’t understand why something might upset you or why you might be hurt over something, and they make you feel ashamed of your feelings, they make you feel like you’re somehow flawed or bad and that this is a problem you need to fix.
The whole conversation brought up a lot for me because I was once in a relationship like that, and it made me feel like I was absolutely crazy!
I felt like my emotions must have malfunctioned to a point where I felt the wrong things at the wrong times because that’s how nuts he made me feel. I thought that maybe I didn’t know how to properly communicate because it seemed like he could never quite understand what I was saying or where I was coming from. I thought I was the problem and it was a horrible, crippling feeling. I felt like I was running on a never-ending treadmill trying to fix a problem that just couldn’t be fixed. And there were times when I genuinely questioned my own sanity.
His insults never looked like insults so when I got upset about them, he made me feel like I was a crazy person. Like the time he told me that he chose me because he knew he could never “breed with” someone like me. Yes, that’s an exact quote. He didn’t think he ever wanted kids and he thought a wild party girl like me would be the perfect mate to enjoy and never, ever breed with. I was shocked and devastated and he just couldn’t understand.
“I’m not saying this to be mean,” he gently explained. “Do you honestly think you’re the kind of girl who’s cut out to be a wife and mom?” (Cut to all these many years later where I am a wife and mom and love it, but anyway!)
And then rather than being upset with him, I questioned myself. Wow, I really am so horribly damaged. I am fatally flawed. No one will ever want me. It’s a good thing I have him!
And this is why we stay. This is what keeps us in it even though we know better.
You question everything about yourself. You’re the one who is always wrong and he’s always right and you’re just lucky he’s giving the time of day to someone who is such a mess!
It never starts out this way though.
The reason it’s confusing is that he was so enraptured by you at first, at first everything you did was right. You were a shiny unicorn and he looked at you like you were magic and it was the greatest feeling in the entire world.
But then you become the problem. Now suddenly he’s unhappy and he blames you for everything that’s wrong. You don’t inspire him enough, you don’t give him what he needs, you are always negative, it’s always you, never him.
When he says something hurtful, it’s not because he’s mean or insensitive, he’s just telling you the truth about yourself and you should appreciate that!
If you question his behavior, like why he was texting with some random girl he met on Instagram until all hours of the night, he says you’re just paranoid and you need to relax and stop being insecure.
No matter what, nothing is ever his fault. There are no apologies. There is no empathy. There is no seeing things from your perspective. If you have a problem, it’s your problem. If you’re upset about something he said or did, it’s because you’re remembering things wrong or being too sensitive. It’s always you, never him.
I’m not saying every guy who does this is a narcissist, sometimes they are just highly immature and need to develop their emotional intelligence a little further. But these situation can be highly toxic and emotionally abusive. And sometimes we don’t even see it until we’re out of it and by then it can be too late.
It’s not always the easiest thing to see things from another person’s perspective, that’s because our default setting is to be selfish. Getting beyond yourself and having a refined sense of empathy can be challenging. So can taking responsibility when you’re in the wrong. It’s not always an easy thing to do, but most of us are willing and able to do it.
If a guy can’t or won’t take responsibility or try to see where you’re coming from, then it’s a huge, massive red flag and you should get out now. The deeper you get into these relationships, the harder it will be.
Don’t turn a blind eye. Don’t convince yourself that something is better than nothing. Don’t delude yourself into believing you’ll never find better. The longer you allow these beliefs to penetrate, the more firmly they will become wired into your psyche and the harder it will be to undo.
Communication is one of the most important pieces to a strong, healthy relationship. Love isn’t enough. Effort isn’t enough. You need to feel like you can talk to your partner and encourage them to talk to you. If you shut each other out, it’ll only ruin the relationship. Here are some reasons why you need to work on your communication to keep your relationship strong.
If you aren’t communicating with your partner, you are hiding pieces of yourself from your partner.
Maybe you’re trying to protect your partner by hiding your feelings. Maybe you don’t want to cause them more stress. Maybe you think your problems are silly and aren’t worth bringing up. But your person is supposed to be your teammate. You’re supposed to feel comfortable talking to them about anything. If you start keeping secrets, even small ones, you’re slowly going to grow apart.
The right person will appreciate your honesty.
If you’re with someone who loves and respects you, they’re going to be happy that you trust them enough to tell them what’s on your mind. They aren’t going to hold your problems against you. They aren’t going to run away as soon as things get hard. They will want to know what’s bothering you so they can help. They signed up to be there for you through the good times and bad. So don’t shut them out. Don’t make them wonder why you’re keeping an emotional distance. They’re going to pick up on the fact something is wrong either way, so you might as well let them into your heart.
Even if they’re your best friend, your partner cannot accurately read your mind.
You can’t expect them to know what’s bothering you. Even if they’ve known you forever, even if they can tell that something is wrong, they aren’t going to guess the exact problem. You need to share your thoughts with them. Otherwise, they aren’t going to be able to comfort you or change their behavior to make you happier. If they don’t realize they’ve done something to upset you, it leaves the door open for them to hurt you again. Even though you might be hesitant to cause conflict, it’s better to confront the problem now than wait until it snowballs into a bigger issue.
You need trust to make a relationship last.
If you’re not telling your partner something, there must be a reason why. Is it because you don’t trust them to react the right way? Because you don’t trust them to look at you the same anymore? Because you don’t trust them to listen closely to your concerns and address them properly? Trust is about more than loyalty. If you want a relationship to work, you need to trust that your person wants what is best for you. You need to trust that they’ll support you.
It’s not real love if you’re not showing the real you.
You don’t want someone to fall for a made-up, imaginary version of you. You want someone who loves the real you. Someone who sees your strengths and your flaws and loves you regardless. If you’re not showing every side of yourself, you’re not giving them the opportunity to love you fully.
We’re inching ever closer to Halloween, which means all the streaming services are advertising the hell out of their seasonal playlists. The bummer is that most of their offerings are peak spooky and may be too much if you want to watch something with your sweetheart.
Even if your scare tolerance is a little mismatched, there are movies perfect for spooky season that are great to watch together. The following movies range from sweet and cute to at least mildly terrifying, and all of them are perfect for curling up on the couch with your favorite person. Best of all, I’ll tell you exactly where you can stream them.
Hocus Pocus (1993)Buena Vista PicturesIt doesn’t matter that this movie is now 30 years old–it’s a classic that has aged well. Sure, you might now identify more with the Sanderson sisters than Max and Allison, but what can you do? Either way, you can spend half the movie discussing which characters you each had crushes on as a kid. Watch Hocus Pocus on Disney+.
Practical Magic (1998)Warner Bros.It’s witchy, it’s romantic, and you should watch it at least once every spooky season. Practical Magic is about sisterhood, self-fulfilling curses, and what it means to find love a that transcends everything. In other words, it’ll make you and your date feel the magic. Watch Practical Magic on Max.
Twilight (2008)Summit EntertainmentWhether you’re watching it sincerely or ironically (or more realistically, a little of both), this is a great spooky season watch for couples. Argue about Team Edward or Team Jacob, debate the vampiric age gap, and drool over the majesty of the baseball scene. Watch Twilight on Amazon Video.
Ghost (1990)Paramount PicturesThis movie, though about a murder and the ghost that haunts a woman, isn’t scary. This is the pick if your date would rather cry than jump out of their skin. Of course, Whoopi Goldberg is always there for some levity. And you’ve got the pottery scene if you want to feel sexy. Aka, this movie has everything but the scares. Watch Ghost on Paramount+.
Warm Bodies (2013)Lionsgate FilmsThe zombie apocalypse has already begun and R has his lil’ zombie routine and even an abandoned plane to live in. Zombie life can be boring, but what can you do? But when he meets a pretty human named Julia, he’s starting to feel love. This movie is surprisingly sweet for being a zombie movie, and a must-watch if you love a good romance. Watch Warm Bodies on Peacock.
Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil (2010)Magnet ReleasingTucker and Dale just want to enjoy their vacation cabin in peace, but college kids keep dying around them. Not only is this movie considered one of the best horror comedies of all time, it also has a cute little romance added into the mix. Be warned: It has quite a bit of blood and gore. Watch Tucker and Dale vs. Evil on Prime Video, Tubi, and Peacock.
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)Soda PicturesThey’re centuries-old vampires and they can’t help but love each other through the ages. Apparently even vampires can struggle with depression and family drama. If either of you have a massive crush on Tom Hiddleston or Tilda Swinton–and rightfully so–you’re welcome. Watch Only Lovers Left Alive on Paramount+.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)Universal PicturesAnother zombie apocalypse has begun. While Shaun and his best friend Ed could just ride this out at home playing video games, Shaun is dead-set on rescuing his ex-girlfriend. Sometimes braving certain death is worth it for love. (This movie is also a comedic masterpiece, which makes it a must-watch regardless.) Watch Shaun of the Dead on Peacock Premium.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)Lionsgate FilmsThese college students thought they were just going to have a fun weekend at a cabin in the woods, but outside forces have other ideas. Despite the dated-sounding premise, this movie is fresh and fun. A touch heavier on the horror rather than the comedy, it’ll make you both feel powerful by the end credits. Watch The Cabin in the Woods on Peacock.
The Conjuring (2013)Warner Bros. PicturesThere’s no comedy or heavy romance to save you from this one. It’s just plain scary, which explains why it launched a whole horror universe. While there are plenty of scary movies to choose from for a Halloween with your date, this one does well at providing well-earned jump scares that’ll have you clutching each other by the end. Watch The Conjuring on The Conjuring.
Here’s a look at seven Twilight characters who had more than a few moments that made us roll our eyes.
Twilight captured our hearts with its supernatural love triangles and unforgettable characters. Fans adored Bella, Edward, Jacob, and the rest, but let’s be honest — some of them had their annoying moments. Whether it was their awkward behavior, questionable decisions, or just plain stubbornness, a few of them managed to get under our skin, even if we pretended not to notice at the time. Here’s a look at seven Twilight characters who, despite their importance to the story, had more than a few moments that made us roll our eyes.
Bella SwanSummit EntertainmentOh, Bella. Where do we even start? On the surface, she’s our relatable everygirl. But her constant awkwardness and clumsiness feel tedious and over-the-top at times. Plus, with two supernatural hotties fighting over her, it gets annoying to see her complain. But the real kicker is how she treats her human friends. Poor Angela and Jessica might as well be wallpaper once Edward shows up.
Bella’s whole “I’m not like other girls” shtick gets old fast, as does her judgy attitude. She acts like her friends’ interests in things like fashion and gossip are shallow, while her relationship with Edward is somehow deeper and more important. Sure, Bella’s not a bad person. But sometimes you just want to sit her down with a cup of coffee and have a real talk about self-worth, friendship, and maybe investing in some non-slip shoes.
Edward CullenSummit EntertainmentThere’s no question that Edward Cullen is everyone’s favorite sparkly stalker. Yes, he’s supposed to be this old-school romantic. But let’s be real — he’s got more red flags than a bullfight. Sneaking into Bella’s room to watch her sleep? Creepy, not romantic. And his controlling tendencies? Yikes. “I’m only keeping you away from your friends for your own good, Bella.” Sure, that’s not manipulative at all. The whole “I’m dangerous, stay away… but also, I can’t live without you” act is what’s called toxic love, even if it is all wrapped up in glitter. In hindsight, Edward’s brand of romance feels more like controlling behavior than a fairy tale.
Jacob BlackSummit EntertainmentAh, Jacob. Sweet, shirtless Jacob. He starts off as the laid-back alternative to Edward’s brooding, but soon reveals his own issues. Jacob’s the guy who just can’t take a hint. Bella friend-zones him hard, but he sticks around like a bad rash. His constant guilt-tripping —”I’m better for you than that vampire!”— is tiring. As much as we love him, Jacob’s arc quickly shifts from lovable to a lesson in not respecting boundaries.
And can we finally talk about the whole imprinting-on-Renesmee thing? Falling for a baby because you couldn’t have her mom is kind of creepy, no matter what the supernatural justification.
Renee Dwyer Summit EntertainmentRenee is the “cool mom” who’s more like a teenager than her actual daughter. Sure, she’s fun and carefree. But she doesn’t come across as a big part of Bella’s life, making it feel like the teen raised herself. That’s not quirky, it’s borderline neglect.
Renee’s flighty, hands-off approach might seem charming at first, but it left Bella carrying the emotional weight from a young age. And when things get supernatural? She’s nowhere to be found, leaving Charlie to deal with the fallout. As great as she might be, Renee’s free-spirited nature comes off more as avoidance than anything else.
Rosalie HaleSummit EntertainmentRosalie should be a total powerhouse — gorgeous, fierce, and unafraid to speak her mind. But in practice she seems like the high school mean girl who never grew up. Her attitude toward Bella is less protective sister-in-law and more Regina George with fangs. Sure, her backstory is tragic, but that doesn’t excuse her nastiness.
And then there’s her obsession with having kids. It feels like her whole character revolves around the fact that she can’t be a mom, which reduces her complexity to a stereotype. In the end, while Rosalie is good-hearted, she unfortunately comes off as bitter and jealous.
Renesmee CullenSummit EntertainmentWhere do we even begin with Renesmee? Credit to Stephenie Meyer for thinking outside the box. But this half-vampire, half-human hybrid is where things get a little… strange. Let’s start with her name — Renesmee. It sounds like Bella and Edward combined their moms’ names in a game of Scrabble and just went with it. Then there’s the rapid aging. One minute she’s a baby, the next she’s having deep conversations. It’s honestly hard to keep up!
And, of course, there’s the whole Jacob imprinting situation. It’s meant to be pure and protective, but it is still kind of uncomfortable. Plus, Renesmee is basically perfect at everything — she’s super smart, everyone adores her, and she has magic powers. She’s not evil or anything, but sometimes you just want to say, “Alright, we get it — she’s special!”
Charlie SwanSummit EntertainmentCharlie Swan is probably one of the most relatable characters in Twilight, but his laid-back, small-town dad attitude comes with some moments of frustration. He’s the classic “strong, silent type,” always there with a cup of coffee and a dry comment. But he’s completely clueless about the chaos Bella’s getting into. For someone whose daughter is dating a vampire and being stalked by werewolves, he’s surprisingly unbothered.
His love for Bella is obvious, but his hands-off parenting style sometimes makes you wish he’d be a bit more involved. Still, his quiet, no-nonsense vibe provides a nice contrast to all the supernatural drama swirling around him, and you can’t help but appreciate his steady presence in a world full of chaos.
Today, we look back at the forgotten works of the late, great Maggie Smith.
The world lost one of the greatest actors of the past century when Maggie Smith passed away at 89 years old on Sept. 27, 2024. But luckily, her film and television roles will live on forever. While many millennials remember her for her role in Harry Potter as the stern but empathetic Professor McGonagall, she was also memorable in several other roles.
So while the rest of the world may be remembering her for quotes like, “Potter is a boy, not a piece of meat!” and other iconic moments, some of us also can’t forget the other roles that made Maggie a true icon. From those we grew up with to some later lovable projects, here are seven movies you forgot Maggie Smith was in.
Sister Act (1992) & Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (1993)Buena VistaBefore she was a stern professor, Maggie played an even stricter nun in Sister Act as Mother Superior. She hesitantly agrees to let Whoopi Goldberg’s character into the convent as a safe haven from her murderer ex-boyfriend. And like McGonagall, Mother Superior may have a tough exterior, but she’s driven first and foremost by doing what’s right, even if she has to break the rules a little bit. The source of some of Sister Act’s funniest lines and most touching moments, Maggie put herself on our millennial radar in the nun-centric franchise.
Hook (1991)TriStarJust before Maggie put on the habit, she was just a kind old lady in Hook, alongside Robin Williams. At just 56 years old, she was given aging makeup to portray a 92-year-old Granny Wendy, making her forever wise in our eyes. Somehow, Maggie was able to harness both the innocence and maternal instinct of Peter Pan’s Wendy, even portraying a woman 40 years older. So Harry Potter definitely wasn’t Maggie’s first foray into magic.
Othello (1965)Warner Bros.This may not be a childhood favorite, but everyone who paid attention in English Lit is familiar with Shakespeare’s Othello. The 1965 was the classic Laurence Olivier film, nominated for four Oscars. Of course, nowadays, Laurence wearing blackface would be extremely problematic, but that doesn’t diminish Maggie’s role as the main love interest in Desdemona. And Maggie wasn’t the only Harry Potter alumnus to appear in Othello — Dumbledore actor Michael Gambon made his first theatrical film appearance as a Senator/Soldier/Cypriot in this film.
The First Wives Club (1996)Paramount PicturesThe First Wives Club was a progressive feminist romp starring three divorcees who band together to get revenge on their husbands. While the three main women on the poster are Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton, a fourth woman made the film what it was. And that woman was Maggie Smith. She played Gunilla Garson Goldberg, a wealthy socialite whose experience as a first wife helps her empathize with and offer support to the First Wives Club. A feminist and an ally!
Nanny McPhee Returns (2010)Universal PicturesIn the second installment of the Nanny McPhee films, Maggie features alongside fellow Harry Potter cast member Emma Thompson to help out a family in need. While the first film took place in Victorian England, the second film took place during World War II. Maggie plays Mrs. Docherty, the owner of the shop where Isabel works, and seems to have a screw loose. But in the end, she’s revealed to be Aggie, the baby from the first film, once again toeing the line between old and young.
The Secret Garden (1993)Warner Bros.The early ‘90s were the era of Maggie, and her role as Mrs. Medlock in The Secret Garden only adds to her legacy. The Francis Ford Coppola-produced film earned Maggie a BAFTA nomination for Best Supporting Actress as the head housekeeper at Mistlethwaite Manor, where once again, her tough exterior leads the way. But her witty comments and emotional vulnerability by the end of the film make Mrs. Medlock a favorite character not to be forgotten.
Death on the Nile (1978)EMIDeath on the Nile is an Agatha Christie-written classic mystery, but behind its stacked cast, it’s easy to forget every big name in it. With Mia Farrow, Jane Birkin, Bette Davis, Angela Lansbury, and of course, Maggie Smith, the film was a showcase of powerhouse women in Hollywood. Maggie played Miss Bowers, Marie Van Schuyler’s nurse and a suspect in the mysterious murder of heiress Linnet Ridgeway. While Miss Bowers is a kleptomaniac, we won’t give away who the real murderer was … but perhaps it’s worth a rewatch in honor of the late and great Maggie.
These ’90s movies still stick with Millennials to this day.
Being a Millennial in the late ’90s was a whirlwind of emotions. Limited Internet access and no mobile phones made navigating high school a very different experience from today’s norms. If you wanted to make plans, you’d have to call a friend’s house and probably talk to their parents first. Relationship dynamics played out in real time instead of being broadcast over social media. But that doesn’t mean it was any less intense.
Notes passed via random kids in class were the closest thing to social media. Rumors spread through whispers and in gossip columns of school newspapers. Popular kids ruled the school, and everyone else faded into the background. Whether you lived it or would like to know what it was like, there are several movies that capture the ’90s teenage experience. There’s a story about a prom bet, a tale of unrequited love, a jealousy scheme gone wrong, and a film about a cynical girl who falls for a bad boy.
She’s All That (1999)Miramax FilmsShe’s All That focuses on the high school social hierarchy. The story begins when Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze Jr.) finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with a Reality TV star. He brushes off their breakup, claiming that he can make any girl in the school popular just by dating her. When his friend Dean (Paul Walker) disagrees, they make a bet in which Zack has to turn a random girl from school into the prom queen in just six weeks. Unsuspecting art student Laney Boggs is chosen for the bet.
Zack gets to work by trying to be friends with Laney (Rachael Leigh Cook). She initially brushes him off until he asks for help with art class. Laney does her best to ignore his charms. But Zack uses (what starts out as) fake sincerity to win her and her family over. He even gets his sister to give Laney a makeover, which brings out her natural beauty and helps with her shyness. Things get complicated when Zack really starts to fall for Laney, which upsets Dean and makes his ex-girlfriend super jealous.
Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)Columbia PicturesCan’t Hardly Wait places the time-old tale of unrequited love in a high school setting. The story chronicles the events of a graduation party where Preston Meyers plans to tell his secret crush, Amanda Beckett, how he feels about her. Amanda, who is newly single after being dumped by her boyfriend, wanders around the party alone while fending off various male suitors. Over the course of the evening, their advances slowly start to agitate her.
Meanwhile, Preston (Ethan Embry) spends most of the night working up the courage to give Amanda (Jennifer Love Hewitt) a letter in which he explains why they would be the perfect couple. Due to several distractions, he loses the letter, and it eventually ends up in Amanda’s hands. Moved by the words, she decides to find Preston even though she has no idea who he is or what he looks like. When they finally meet, things don’t go the way Preston had hoped.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena VistaWhile the Shakespeare play on which 10 Things About You is based is very misogynistic, the film is pretty harmless. The story focuses on Katrina (Julia Stiles) and Bianca Stratford (Larisa Oleynik), who are constantly at odds with their overprotective father, Walter. Each sister has aspirations that their dad disapproves of. Kat wants to go to college in New York, and Bianca wants to date. Frustrated by his daughters, Walter gives in and says Bianca can only date if Kat does.
Knowing that Kat’s standoffish personality will make dating difficult, Bianca and her friends decide to pay bad boy Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger) to date her. Patrick does his best to win Kat over, and his charm eventually works. But when Patrick asks her to the prom, knowing that she doesn’t believe in the tradition, she becomes suspicious. Everything falls apart at the prom when Bianca and her date get into a fight, leaving Kat caught in the middle of the drama.
Drive Me Crazy (1999)20th Century FoxDrive Me Crazy is a story about finding love where you’d least expect. Like most teen movies of the ’90s, it begins when the popular Nicole Maris (Melissa Joan Hart) decides to team up with rebel Chase Hammond (Adrian Grenier), to make their respective crushes jealous. The pairing isn’t too random since Nicole and Chase live next door to each other and used to be childhood friends. But they eventually drifted apart after Chase went through a family tragedy and their interests changed.
Despite some initial hiccups in their scheme, which includes a clause that allows either of them to ditch at any time, plan goes really well. However, things are never straightforward when feelings are faked. The arrangement starts to get messy when their friends get involved, with Chase accusing Nicole of being selfish. Friendships are tested, and real feelings are exposed when the pair finally gets what they want.
Only Murders in the Building sets a high bar for mystery shows, but these six series don’t mess around either.
Only Murders in the Building hits differently. Sure, it has an outstanding cast, sharply written scripts, and juicy mysteries to sink the teeth into, but it’s the combination of all these factors working together in magical unison that make each and every episode an unmissable event for the eyeballs. Since it’s so good, fans seek out more of it, but hey, give the cast and crew some time and space to make the best television possible. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a procedural crime drama.
As everyone awaits the next episode – or season – of Only Murders in the Building to drop, join us as we sniff out six similar shows that fill the void for those wanting more of Charles, Oliver, and Mabel. Add these series to the ever-growing watchlist and let the mysteries unfold! Very mild spoilers follow.
Based on a True StoryPeacockMuch like Only Murders in the Building, Based on a True Story centers around a crime podcast. In this show, married couple Nathan (Chris Messina) and Ava Bartlett (Kaley Cuoco) uncover the identity of a serial killer. Rather than turn him over to the authorities, they decide to team up with him to create a podcast about his murders. For the Bartletts, the podcast serves a secondary purpose, too: As a way to rekindle their flailing marriage. However, it might not matter in the end since they remain unsure if the killer will stab them in the back – quite literally. Based on a True Story satirizes the crime podcast genre and how so many people profit off other people’s misery. That said, it’s never preachy, but takes a tongue-in-cheek approach to showcase these opportunistic characters and their questionable behavior.
The ResortPeacockCristin Milioti and William Jackson Harper star as Emma and Noah, a married couple celebrating their 10-year anniversary in Yucatán. Even though they have been together for a decade, they have differing opinions about the state of their marriage. A shot of excitement arrives when they’re pulled into the mystery of two missing people – Sam Lawford (Skyler Gisondo) and Violet Thompson (Nina Bloomgarden) – from 15 years ago. Emma and Noah set out to find out what actually happened while unraveling the connected stories of Sam and Violet. The Resort only lasted a single season, but it’s absorbing television for eight strong episodes. JoBlo‘s Alex Maidy praised how it flawlessly blended different genres, writing: “It finds humor in a natural way rather than feeling purely like a comedy but also works very well as a traditional mystery.”
SugarApple TV+While Sugar leans more into old-school Hollywood noir than Only Murders in the Building, the Apple TV+ show features a riveting plot that sees private detective John Sugar (Colin Farrell) investigating the disappearance of an esteemed film producer’s granddaughter, Olivia Siegel (Sydney Chandler). Beautifully shot and superbly edited, Sugar’s journey to uncovering the truth sees him clashing with members of the Siegel family who have their own secrets to hide. At the same time, all is not what it seems with Sugar, and there’s a plot twist in this show that changes absolutely everything – including the genre of the show. The big reveal could prove to be too much for some viewers, but it needs to be experienced to be believed.
The Flight AttendantMaxThe first season of The Flight Attendant establishes itself as distinctively superior to the second, but this twisty series keeps everyone on their toes due to the unreliable narrator and main protagonist, Cassie Bowden (Kaley Cuoco). Cassie is a flight attendant and an alcoholic who after a drunken one-night stand with a passenger – Alex Sokolov (Michiel Huisman) – wakes up to find him dead and with his throat slashed. Rather than call the authorities, Cassie tries to cover it up, which leads to further questions and suspicion. Simultaneously, she attempts to piece together the events of the evening and who could have murdered Alex. The Flight Attendant Season 1 racked up an impressive 97% critical approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, confirming that this is a must-watch program for all murder-mystery aficionados.
MurdervilleNetflixWhat happens when someone combines Only Murders in the Building with Whose Line Is It Anyway? Murderville! Based on the British series Murder in Successville, this show follows Detective Terry Seattle (Will Arnett) who gets paired with a new guest star each episode as they attempt to solve a murder-mystery. The catch is that the guest star isn’t given a script beforehand, so they need to improvise every scene. Guest stars include the likes of Conan O’Brien, Sharon Stone, and Kumail Nanjiani. The formula of the show allows for genuine laugh-out-loud moments and unpredictability for everyone involved. In addition, it showcases the undisputed talent of Arnett as a comedian since he needs to stay in character while still embracing the possibility of chaos.
The AfterpartyApple TV+The Afterparty combines the comedic sensibility of Only Murders in the Building with the whodunit appeal of Knives Out. The anthology series lasted only for two seasons, but it’s built up a legion of followers who believe it to be one of the most entertaining shows released in the 21st century – just check Reddit to see how invested the fanbase is. The first season takes place after a high school reunion afterparty, showcasing each person’s point-of-view of what happened, while the second season follows the events after a wedding’s afterparty. The cast includes the talents of Sam Richardson, Tiffany Haddish, and Zoë Chao, with a number of other stars appearing in the two seasons. Executive produced by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, this is one show that deserves a #RestoreTheAfterparty movement on X, Twitter, or whatever in the world that hellscape is called nowadays.
For those who prefer films that scratch the Only Murders in the Building itch, check out the 7 mystery movies that will keep you on the edge of your seat.
We’re inching ever closer to Halloween and spooky season is in full swing. Just because it’s the season of ghouls and frights, that doesn’t mean your watchlist has to give you nightmares. All you romantic comedy fans can join in the fun, too. Today, we’re talking about ghostly rom coms that have tidbits of the supernatural. Some are more “rom com” than others, but all have threads of romance and ghosts. Check out our list of the best ghostly rom coms and where to stream them.
Just Like Heaven (2005)DreamWorks PicturesThis feels like any other rom com, and it certainly starts that way. But as soon as Mark Ruffalo falls for the spirit of the former renter of his new apartment, played by Reese Witherspoon, things are anything but typical. No one else can see her, so he needs to help her spirit pass on. But, oops, he’s falling for her at the same time. Watch Just Like Heaven on Max.
Ghost Town (2005)DreamWorks PicturesHere’s a little underrated gem for you. Ricky Gervais dies for just a moment during a routine colonoscopy and when he wakes up from anesthesia, he can see ghosts. This is a nightmare for a guy like him, who’s a total people-hating loner. It’s much funnier than people give it credit for and even has a cute little romance. Watch Ghost Town on Prime Video and Paramount+.
Casper (1995)Universal PicturesWhile Casper is mostly about a cute lil’ childlike ghost living with his crazy ghost uncles who are trying to drive the new owners away, any ’90s kid will know why this movie is on the list. Nothing beats the momentarily human version of Casper, played by Devon Sawa, whispering “Can I keep you?” to Christina Ricci. Watch Casper on Netflix.
Ghost (1990)Paramount PicturesWay more in the drama department than a comedy, no ghost romance list is complete without Ghost. After his tragic death, Sam tries to save his lover from a terrible fate. The only trouble? He’s a ghost and can’t get his message across. The pottery wheel scene is reason enough to add this to your list. (And Patrick Swayze, RIP.) Watch Ghost on Max.
Beetlejuice (1988)Warner Bros.There’s a wacky poltergeist, a strange and unusual teen goth girl, a hilarious step mom who wants to completely redecorate every square inch of the house she just bought. And at the heart of it all, there’s the sweet romance between Adam and Barbara that’s serious couple goals even 35 years later. Watch Beetlejuice on Max.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Paramount PicturesIchabod Crane is just visiting Sleepy Hollow to solve the mysterious deaths of prominent men in town, but how can he do that successfully when there’s the beautiful Christina Ricci? Get ready for a spooky headless horseman, a handful of jump scares, and serious witch vibes (that also got this on our witchy rom com list). Watch Sleepy Hollow on Max.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)Buena Vista PicturesJack Skellington is the king of Halloween, but when he learns of Christmas Town, it changes everything in Halloween Town. Perhaps he and his lady love Sally can make a difference. Is it a kid’s movie or a romance? A Halloween movie or a Christmas movie? Why not all of the above? Watch A Nightmare Before Christmas on Disney+.
A “placeholder” is the person someone dates but never truly commits to long-term. They are considered to be someone’s “good for now, not forever.” Here are signs that you might be his placeholder. He was fresh out of a relationship when you started dating.This isn’t always the case, but if he had just gone through a brutal breakup and jumped into something with you quickly thereafter, this might be a sign he’s looking for a rebound and not the real thing. Proceed with caution.
He’s not looking for “anything serious” but “totally loves where we’re at”.Essentially, he doesn’t lock it down with you officially. He may date you exclusively but will never call you his girlfriend. He reassures you that he’s having fun and want things to continue as they are. And, yes, this could very well be true. But the other side of that truth is that he likes things as they are, and only that. Basically, he wants access to you but with no strings attached.
You’re not entirely sure his friends or family know you exist.You don’t feel as though you’re part of his life because you’re not associated with the closest people to him. He doesn’t indicate you’ll ever meet them, either.
He doesn’t make future or concrete plans.Again, since he’s so focused on “the now,” he doesn’t seem to initiate conversations or plans about the future. Even getting him to commit to a Saturday night date leads to slow texts back or “I’ll have to let you know” as a response that lasts until Saturday mid-afternoon even though you asked him Wednesday morning. It almost feels like he’s waiting to see if something “better” comes up before he decides to see you and, to be honest, he probably is.
If people think you’re dating, he acts weird about it.He doesn’t deny it necessarily, but he doesn’t really confirm it either. If someone asks while you’re out together, he might say something like “I like her a lot, we’re having a good time.” This may be how he sees your role in his life in general: fun for now, not for the long-term.
You are reading this article.If you feel as though you may be the placeholder, you most likely are. Intuition never leads you astray. If you’re feeling like an afterthought and like someone he doesn’t value, try your best to move on. You deserve more than maybe. You deserve someone who is all in.
Welcome to Creeptober, Creepy Catalog’s month-long Halloween movie marathon! You’re invited to watch with us as we queue up 31 horror movies in 31 days. We’ll also be hosting lively discussion on our Facebook page focusing on each day’s movie selection.
Here’s the schedule:
- Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
- Donnie Darko (2001)
- House of the Devil (2009)
- The Platform 2 (2024)
- V/H/S/Beyond (2024)
- A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
- The Last Exorcism (2010)
- House (1977)
- The Love Witch (2016)
- Terrifier 2 (2022)
- Late Night with the Devil (2023)
- The Strangers (2008)
- Hell House LLC (2015)
- Silent House (2011)
- Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
- May (2002)
- Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
- The Descent (2005)
- Watcher (2022)
- April Fool’s Day (1986)
- Evil Dead (2013)
- Tenebrae (1982)
- Dark Harvest (2023)
- Night of the Demons (1988)
- Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
- House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
- The Vanishing (1988)
- Trick or Treat (1986)
- The Houses October Built (2014)
- The Crow (1994)
- Ghostwatch (1992)
For information on where these movies are streaming during October 2024, see our Creeptober master list here. We can’t wait to watch and discuss with you all!
Here are 10 of the best shows set in New York City.
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Sex and the CitySex and the City | IMDbGiven that NYC is considered the fifth character, obviously Sex and the City is one of the best shows set in the Big Apple. The groundbreaking and truly iconic HBO series that ran for six seasons followed the lives of four best friends–Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.
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FriendsFriends | IMDbFriends, the one with the six pals who helped each other navigate their late 20s and 30s, is another awesome show based in New York City. The sitcom recently celebrated the 20th anniversary of its premiere. Friends still is as loved in 2024 as it was when it was airing during the 90s and early 2000s.
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Brooklyn Nine-NineBrooklyn Nine-Nine | IMDbStarring Andy Samberg as Detective Jake Peralta, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a witty comedy series about the quirky but loavable detectives of Brooklyn’s 99th precinct and their serious, rarely smiling captain Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher).
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How I Met Your MotherHow I Met Your Mother | IMDbIn the LEGENDARY (iykyk) How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) explains the story of how how he met his wife to their kids. The show is filmed from the perspective of flashbacks of Ted’s 20s and 30s dating, working, and playing in New York City. Also starring Jason Segel, Alyson Hannigan, Neil Patrick Harris, and Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother is hilarious, poignant, and a beautiful portrait of friendship, love, and finding yourself.
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Gossip GirlGossip Girl | IMDbBased on the book series, Gossip Girl is a show narrated by an anonymous blogger that goes by the name of Gossip Girl. On their blog, Gossip Girl delivers the latest tea on a group of particularly wealthy teenagers who live in Manhattan. The teens include Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester), Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively), Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), and Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick). Gossip Girlis still iconic for so many reasons, from the fashion to the constant drama to the truly perfect casting.
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Russian DollRussian Doll | IMDbRussian Doll stars Natasha Lyonne as Nadia Vulvokov, a bitter young woman living in NYC who is stuck in a time loop. The time loop in question is that she keeps dying but then returning to the party being thrown in her honor that same evening.
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Everybody Hates ChrisEverybody Hates Chris | IMDbNarrated by Chris Rock, Everybody Hates Chris is based on a younger version of the comedian. It’s a funny series about what it was like to grow up as a black kid attending an all-white school in Brooklyn during the 1980s.
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The Marvelous Mrs. MaiselThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel | IMDbThe hit Amazon Prime series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel stars Rachel Brosnahan as Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel, a young mother who gets left by her husband to raise two young kids. In a drunken rage after the abandonment, a drunk Midge stumbles into a comedy club and performs a stand-up act that ends up getting her arrested. But it also shows her that maybe there’s something greater for her out there.
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Mad MenMad Men | IMDbA show about one of advertising most prestigious and influential agencies at the beginning of the 1960s, Mad Men primarily tells its story by focusing on the agency’s most mysterious ad execs, the elusive, handsome, and deeply talented Don Draper (Jon Hamm). Also starring Elizabeth Moss, January Jones, John Slattery, Mad Men is addicting to watch.
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SuccessionSuccession | IMDbSuccession was the breakout satirical black comedy-drama HBO series that tells the story of the Roy family, owners of the global media conglomerate Waystar RoyCo. When the family patriarch Logan Roy steps down as head of the company, his children fight for the open position. Succession was critically acclaimed for its writing, acting performances, musical score, directing, humor, and subject matter.
Maybe the book adaptation could be better if we tried again?
We all say it. Sometimes we suppress it, extinguishing its power, knowing we’d come across as pretentious otherwise; and yet, more often than not, we unleash it onto the world, reputation be damned. Don’t play coy: You know what I’m talking about. It’s that famous phrase popularized by English majors the world over: “The book was better than the movie.”
Yes, many liberal arts majors brandish this line to assert their intellectual superiority at cocktail parties, but they’re often right. The rest of us just have the decency to avoid such clichés in mixed company and whip them out in Thought Catalog listicles instead. So, here are seven instances where … sips from mocktail and looks meaningfully into the distance … the book was better.
The Da Vinci CodeSony PicturesLook, I’m no book snob. I can appreciate the silly, breathless suspense of The Da Vinci Code just as much as I can appreciate the realism and intricacy of Anna Karenina. Dan Brown may not win a Pulitzer anytime soon, but he’s found a winning formula and he can fashion a good yarn. On the other hand, that formula doesn’t necessarily translate well onto the screen. In Brown’s novels, revelations arise organically from long, didactic passages about history. However, in the 2006 adaptation of The Da Vinci Code, that startling sense of intellectual discovery is replaced by scenes of actors yelling pedantically about art history. In movies, unlike in books, every line needs subtext, and there’s no real subtext to Tom Hanks explaining the cultural significance of a paintbrush. This movie is boring, and deserves a remake with snappier dialogue to heighten the stakes.
The House of the SpiritsWarner Bros.Speaking of intricate novels, Isabel Allende’s La Casa de los Espíritus (The House of the Spirits) is a breathtaking work of magical realism that boasts some of the most haunting passages in world literature. It’s also an allegory for the dark, complicated history of Chile, and therein lies the problem. When Hollywood decided to adapt this moving and culturally complex work of literature in 1993, they did so with an almost all-white cast. They also handed the film to a Danish writer-director, who unsurprisingly missed the book’s point completely. By isolating the story from its Chilean context, the director sapped it of its unique power and transformed it into a bargain bin Merchant-Ivory trainwreck. The acting was great, though.
The HobbitWarner Bros.How did Peter Jackson mess this one up? He did so well with Lord of the Rings! Well, money. That’s how. Due to some studio buffoonery, his adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s singular Hobbit turned into three films, necessitating an army of invented, superfluous plotlines that amounted to a bloated spectacle in the end. There was fun to be had along the way, but not enough to justify all of those many, many scenes of dwarves singing.
All the King’s MenSony PicturesThis 2006 adaptation had real pedigree in its Pulitzer Prize-winning source material and its all-star cast, but not even Sean Penn and Kate Winslet could breathe life into this stuffy dud. The only reason I saw it was for extra credit – and it did help me get an A in my AP Government class – but I now hate that teacher forever.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter20th Century FoxThis 2012 movie had such potential! Just look at that title. Think of the campy cult icon that this could have been. Instead, this movie was a murky, nonsensical, and overly-serious action-drama that somehow wasn’t directed by Zack Snyder. How can you make a movie about Abraham Lincoln fighting vampires and not make it fun? Go read the book by Seth Grahame-Smith instead – and while you’re at it, read his Pride and Prejudice and Zombies as well (which was also better than its adaptation).
Running with ScissorsSony PicturesBefore removing all the spirituality and poignancy from Eat, Pray, Love, director Ryan Murphy did the same with Augusten Burroughs’ 2002 memoir Running with Scissors, warping the remarkable and heartbreaking confessional into a soulless, frustrating shock-com. The only funny part of this 2006 movie was when it smash-cut to a close-up of Gwyneth Paltrow in dreadlocks – but you can look that up on YouTube.
3 Body ProblemNetflixI am among the many Game of Thrones fans who grew frustrated with its creators D.B. Weiss and David Benioff after they sped through the show’s final two seasons, abandoning all nuance and cleverness in the hopes of landing a Star Wars directing gig. That said, I still had high expectations for their 3 Body Problem; after all, they had the completed Remembrance of Earth’s Past series to work from, and thus wouldn’t have to invent their own ending. Unfortunately, they just couldn’t translate The Three-Body Problem’s long, revelatory passages about mathematical formulas into compelling dialogue. Ultimately, 3 Body Problem ended up being one of the most torpid and pretentious series that I have ever fallen asleep to. And it didn’t even win me extra credit.
October is a killer month for new movies.
September was a big month of movie releases, seeing the likes of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Will & Harper, and The Substance, but October will be even bigger. Between psychological thrillers, horror movies, romantic dramedies, and real-life-inspired storylines, there will be everything you need to come to a theater or streaming service near you. If you’re already scoping out what you’ll be watching this month, keep reading to discover some movies to add to your list.
It’s What’s Inside (October 4)Coming to Netflix on October 4, It’s What’s Inside is about a combo bachelor and bachelorette party, but instead of ending in partying, laughs, and good memories, this movie shows you the “for worse” you agree to in your vows. In the film, an uninvited guest shows up and brings a suitcase containing a life-changing game. However, this game isn’t the good type of life-changing but instead has all of the party-goers feeling like they are in hell.
Joker: Folie a Deux (October 4)Joker: Folie a Deux is highly anticipated by the fact that Lady Gaga stars as Harley Quinn in this sequel to Joker. Joaquin Phoenix returns as the titular role who is struggling with his identity as Arthur Fleck and the sad, lonely clown he prefers to portray. Luckily for him, his life is about to change as he meets the love of his life, Harley, at Arkham State Hospital. This might be the origin story we have all been dying for from Joker and Harley, so buckle up, it’s going to get wild and be full of musical numbers.
Piece By Piece (October 11)Alright, I know it’s a LEGO movie, BUT it’s also a Pharrell Williams movie! Piece By Piece is the documentary of Pharrell’s live as told by the square little toys we all know and hate to step on. From his childhood in Virginia to superstardom in both music and fashion, this cute take on a documentary will have you smiling, laughing, and maybe even crying as you follow Pharrell’s rise to fame.
We Live In Time (October 11)I don’t know what it is, but something about the fall season is the perfect time to watch a romantic comedy and laugh and cry under blankets surrounded by autumnal candles. We Live In Time, starring Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh, will satisfy all of those needs. It’s a very stereotypical boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, they have kids and live happily ever after type of story, but this one will also cover the hard times the couple faces. Rather than a fairytale, We Live In Time will show how couples struggle through different facets of life and really put to the test their vows of “through thick and thin”.
Smile 2 (October 18)Smile 2 is the follow-up to Smile, a horror movie that took everyone by surprise and the horror world by storm. With such a unique and jarring premise, Smile 2 is expected to scare anyone into never wanting to lock eyes with a smiling stranger again. Smile 2 follows a pop star as she’s about to go on a huge tour, but right before she embarks, she witnesses the suicide of a man who just can’t stop smiling before he ends his life. Of course, if you’ve seen the first movie, you know what this means for the pop star, and it’s about to get really, really bad for her.
Woman Of The Hour (October 18)Woman Of The Hour is Anna Kendrick’s directorial debut and it is a crime thriller based on a true story from the late 1970s. The story is about Rodney Alcala, a serial killer in the 1970s who was apprehended in 1979. However, before he was apprehended, he was one of the finalists on a dating show trying to win the love of one unlucky contestant while still simultaneously being an active serial killer. Kendrick aims to cover not only the crimes of Alcala but also how sexist the culture was during this time.
The Nickel Boys (October 25)The Nickel Boys is based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same name by Colson Whitehead. The story follows two young Black men who are trying to survive life in the reform school known as Nickel Academy in Florida. While Nickel Academy isn’t real, it does quite closely resemble the real-life institution by the name of Dozier School. If you know anything about Dozier School, you know what happened there is incredibly tragic and reprehensible. We can expect The Nickel Boys to be a truly heart-wrenching film, so prepare yourself.
We’re taking a look back at Wes Craven’s best movies, ranking the top 7 from worst to best.
To this day, most people rightfully think of Wes Craven’s name whenever they’re encouraged to think of the larger pop culture landscape. Residing somewhere on the Mount Rushmore of Horror alongside such iconic faces as John Carpenter, David Lynch, and Guillermo del Toro, Craven has accrued a near-fabled reputation for his numerous horror films over the past several decades.
Whether working on a low-budget exploitation movie or a mainstream slasher franchise, Craven had a way of infusing his rich imagination into each and every one of his movies, no matter its subject, genre, or respective release dates. Though he passed away in 2015, Craven left behind a glistening filmography filled with macabre movies, many of which remain required viewing every time the Halloween season comes around in early September.
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The Last House on the Left (1972)American InternationalThe film that launched Craven’s career, The Last House on the Left quite possibly remains as controversial now as it did upon its release in 1972. A down-and-dirty exploitation film with plenty of gratuitous violence, The Last House on the Left nauseated mainstream viewers back in the ‘70s, many of whom have expressed shock and derision at its extreme subject matter. In the decades since, more appreciative audiences have significantly reevaluated Craven’s debut effort, describing it as a suspenseful low-budget horror film that bravely veered towards some uncomfortable narrative areas.
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The Hills Have Eyes (1977)VanguardThe Last House on the Left may have been Craven’s first film, but the film that helped the young director ascend to new heights was his immediate follow-up, The Hills Have Eyes. A tense story of several relatable teenagers who come face-to-face with desert-dwelling cannibals, The Hills Have Eyes’ dizzying humor, frequent scares, and subtle social commentary helped set the tone for the remainder of Craven’s career, acquiring a beloved cult following in the decades since its release.
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Red Eye (2005)DreamWorksAlmost certainly the most underrated entry in Craven’s filmography, Red Eye comes brimming with a ceaseless number of surprises. Initially appearing almost as a meet-greet romantic comedy in the manner of When Harry Met Sally…, Craven’s penchant for psychological horror bleeds through by the movie’s second act. A minimalist thriller with a limited cast and setting, Red Eye nevertheless packs a wallop of a punch in the course of its 85-minute runtime.
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Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)New Line CinemaAfter several years of fairly disappointing sequels, A Nightmare on Elm Street returned in grand fashion with 1994’s utterly splendid Wes Craven’s A New Nightmare. Returning to the series he created in 1984, Craven once again proved himself capable of reinventing the traditional slasher format with New Nightmare. Rather than presenting just another hack-and-slash horror film starring a bitingly sarcastic Freddy Krueger, New Nightmare offered up a far more creative self-aware approach with its film-within-a-within-film narrative. The results helped resurrect Freddy Krueger for an entirely new generation, predating the postmodern humor of Scream by a mere two years.
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Scream 2 (1997)DimensionMore so than most movie genres, slashers have gained a well-earned reputation for spawning lesser and lesser sequels, as seen with past franchises like Halloween, Friday the 13th, or A Nightmare on Elm Street. Fortunately, the Scream series always managed to avoid this unfortunate phenomenon, thanks in large part to Craven’s work on each of Scream’s sequels (up to 2022’s Scream). With Scream 2, Craven continues the ongoing journey of Sidney Prescott and her closest friends. Transposing the setting from suburban Woodsboro to the sprawling campus of Windsor College, Scream 2 is that rare sequel that fully lives up to the original.
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Scream (1996)DimensionIncredibly, Craven somehow caught lightning in a bottle not once, but twice with his meta-aware slasher film, Scream. Nearly a decade after viewers had grown weary of the increasingly formulaic slasher genre, Craven partnered with screenwriter Kevin Williamson to completely reinvent the traditional slasher narrative. Openly mocking the stereotypes and cliches associated with movies like Halloween and Friday the 13th, Scream also brilliantly combined comedy, horror, and the basic characteristics of an Agatha Christie-style whodunit, kicking off an iconic franchise that’s still going strong to this day.
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A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)New Line CinemaBy the start of the 1980s, slasher films had gone from a viable horror subgenre to one of the kitschiest vehicles in contemporary pop culture. Realizing that slasher movies needed to change, Craven helmed the overwhelmingly original supernatural horror, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Released to theaters in 1984, A Nightmare on Elm Street forever changed the way audiences perceived the slasher narrative, introducing a paranormal tone that most films sought to emulate for the remainder of the decade. While many slashers have and gone over the years, it’s hard to think of a horror film more closely tied to the genre than Wes Craven’s definitive masterpiece.
Today’s we’re talking about all things witchy, mystical, and magical. So bust out the tea leaves, the tarot cards, and the bucket of popcorn, because you’ll have all sorts of cute movies to binge this spooky season. Which of these witchy rom coms are your favorite?
Practical Magic (1998)Warner Bros.A family of witches, a generational curse, and the strength of sisterly bonds. This is the ultimate witch movie for a reason. Best of all, you can watch strong women cast out terrible men and hold tight to the ones who embrace their power. Who are you: Sexy and free-spirited Gillian or nurturing and romantic Sally? Watch Practical Magic on Max.
Teen Witch (1989)Trans World EntertainmentLouise Miller is every awkward teen girl who doesn’t know how to talk to her crush. If only we could find out we’re a witch when we turn 16 like she does. She uses her newfound power to make her dreams come true (plus the hilarious rap battle dreams of her best friend.) If you haven’t seen this, it’s time to rectify that colossal mistake. Watch Teen Witch on MGM+ and Tubi.
Stardust (2007)Paramount PicturesTristan goes in search of a fallen star for the woman he loves, only to find out that the star is actually a woman being hunted by a trio of witches. Come for the adorable plot with Robert De Niro as Captain Shakespeare and stay for Tristan’s She’s All That-style glow-up. This is the fantasy romance that bridges the gap between fantasy-lovers and those who just want to fall in love. Watch Stardust on Prime Video and MGM+.
Beautiful Creatures (2013)Warner Bros. PicturesLena comes from a long line of witches and her family is more than a little bit overbearing. When they learn she’s fallen in love with a regular boy, they’ll have nothing to do with it. It’s bad witches vs. good witches, all in the name of true love. If you’re looking for a faithful adaptation of the book, you won’t find it here, but it’s still a fun watch regardless. Watch Beautiful Creatures on Amazon Video.
Hocus Pocus (1993)Buena Vista PicturesWitches aren’t always the good guys. Here, the enigmatic Sanderson Sisters are out to suck the souls of all the children in Salem, all because a virginal teen boy was stupid enough to light the black flame candle. While this family movie is mostly about the kids vs. witches dynamic, the cute little romance between Max and Allison is adorable. Watch Hocus Pocus on Disney+.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Paramount PicturesThe little town of Sleepy Hollow is being haunted by a headless horseman, and it’s all thanks to witchy magic. Johnny Depp’s Ichabod Crane is tasked with solving the deaths of prominent men in town, but can’t help falling in love with Christina Ricci’s Katrina along the way. Can you blame him? Watch Sleepy Hollow on MGM+.
Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)Studio GhibliWhen she’s cursed by a witch into aging into her 90-year-old self, Sophie stumbles onto the moving castle of a wizard named Howl. If she can help the little fire sprite, Calcifer, maybe she came become her old self again. Watch this to understand where all the Howl TikTok thirst traps are coming from. Watch Howl’s Moving Castle on Max.
Bewitched (2005)Sony PicturesAn actor is set to play Darren in the remake of the real-life 1960s sitcom, Bewitched. When they hire an unknown to play the major role of his witchy wife, Samantha, they get way more than they bargained for. Isabel is a real wicth, and they’re about to get way more than they bargained for. Watch Bewitched on Amazon Video.
Simply Irresistible (1999)20th Century FoxWhen a mystical man gives Amanda some magical crabs for her failing restaurant, her luck starts to turn for the better. As she meets a handsome man who gives her a chef gig at his restaurant, things only get wackier. Now she’s cooking her feelings into her food. This is a long-forgotten ’90s rom com for all you diehard Sarah Michelle Gellar fans. Watch Simply Irresistible on Hulu.
Bruce Springsteen’s album Nebraska. My Capricorn moon. The fact that life is so short but the days still feel so long. Remembering senior year of high school. Contemplating whether alternate universes exist and if I’d be happier in another one. Realizing that’s a stupid thing to ponder. Insomnia at 2 AM. The fact there are so many humans I’ll never get to meet even though we could probably be best friends if we had the chance. How there is so much pain in the world and nothing I can do about all of it. Wishing I could anyway. The fact I am no longer 17 but still feel like that kid with the smokescreen temper at times. Theorizing that perhaps old versions of ourselves never really leave us since they make us who we are. How time passes both seamlessly but not without taking the people I adore with it. How so many of my first dates are also the last ones, too. Joan Didion essays. The lives I’ve lived and lost. Passing by a cute stranger and wondering if he’s happy. Hoping that he is. Accepting I’ll never really know. But still continuing to hope anyway.
You’re lying to yourself about your happiness.
It’s one thing to put on a fake smile and lie to the rest of the world. It’s even worse when you refuse to acknowledge the truth yourself. Acceptance is the first step toward change. The sooner you admit what’s been bothering you, the sooner you can work toward finding a solution. The sooner you can return to living a life that makes you feel fulfilled. You’re remaining in your comfort zone.
The unknown is scary. It’s easier to keep doing what you’re doing and ignore the dissatisfaction deep inside. However, taking a risk is worth it in the long run. For a little while, you might be extra stressed or swamped with work, but at least you’ll be taking a chance on yourself. At least you’ll be saying to the world: I deserve everything that I’ve been dreaming about achieving. You’re physically isolating yourself.
Even if social interaction is stressful for you, it’s important to form deep connections. You don’t want to go too long trapped in your house without speaking to anyone, or even texting anyone. You need to reach out to people you care about. You need to meet new people. At the very least, you need to take walks outside and get yourself out in the sun. Don’t hide yourself away. Put yourself out there, even if you start with baby steps. You’re emotionally isolating yourself.
You aren’t telling others the whole truth. You’re keeping everyone at a distance to protect your heart and your reputation. However, having emotions is nothing to be ashamed about experiencing. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to be vulnerable. You’re allowed to show others a softer side. If you never open up to family and friends, you’re preventing them from getting to know the real you. You’re stopping your connection from growing deeper. You’re pushing yourself to the point of burning out.
You don’t want to work yourself too hard. Even though you need to put in effort to achieve your dreams, you shouldn’t be stressing yourself out to the point where you’re struck with headaches and stomachaches. You need to rest before you exhaust yourself. You need to treat your body and mind with kindness. Don’t forget that lazy days can be productive too. They can recharge you, so you’re ready for what’s to come. You’re ignoring problems and hoping they disappear.
Even though conflict is uncomfortable, you need to speak up when something is bothering you. If you allow others to walk all over you without saying a word, they’re going to assume you’re okay with their behavior. They aren’t going to realize anything is wrong. If you want things to change, you need to play an active role in changing them. Your problems aren’t magically going to disappear if you ignore them. You’re not putting effort into yourself.
You’re so busy taking care of everyone else that you never stop to take care of yourself. You sacrifice your own happiness to bring it to others. Although it’s beautiful that you care so much about other people, you need to start caring about yourself, too.
Where does your favorite guest star rank on the list of worst-to-best Friends love interests?
The first episode of Friends aired in September 1994, which means that the beloved sitcom is now 30 years old. As it hits the best decade of its life — at least that’s what people say to all the millennials turning 30 — we’re forced to remember every Friends character’s love interest, from the worst to the best. While some short-lived ones were played by impressive guest stars such as Alec Baldwin, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and more, others stuck around for multiple episode arcs.
While some love interests are hilarious additions to the 10-season show, others are there for us to despise. Whether they hurt our “friends” or they were just plain odd, the main six friends have dated some real characters. Between Phoebe’s terrible psychologist boyfriend to Monica and Rachel both going out with Jean-Claude Van Damm, there are more than enough Friends love interests to provide our official ranking.
14 — Paolo (Cosimo Fusco): Rachel, Seasons 1–2NBCPaolo is the obstacle to the iconic Ross and Rachel pairing. When Ross realizes he has feelings for Rachel, she meets Paolo in the blackout. And after he and Julie (Lauren Tom) break up because of his feelings for Rachel, she gets back together with him shortly. However, after he inappropriately hits on Phoebe by assaulting her during one of her massages, he officially makes the list as the worst Friends love interest.
13 — Janine Lecroix (Elle Macpherson): Joey, Season 6NBCJoey hits the jackpot when he gets his new roommate, a dancer named Janine, played by supermodel Elle Macpherson. However, when she hates Monica and Chandler for no reason, trying to make Joey choose her over his friends, it’s clear that she’s a villain.
12 —Kathy (Paget Brewster): Chandler and Joey, Season 4NBCJust before Chandler settles down with Monica, he falls for Joey’s girlfriend, Kathy. He meets her as she waits for a date with Joey, and although she’s a likable enough character, she cheats on both Joey and Chandler. “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” isn’t always true, but the foreshadowing for Kathy was strong. We all wanted Chandler to just be happy, but instead, she made his worst nightmare come true, so she falls pretty low on the ranking of love interests.
11 — Richard Burke (Tom Selleck): Monica, Seasons 2-3NBCMany Friends fans tend to rank Richard higher on the list because he was a good boyfriend and partner to Monica. However, he was 21 years older than her! He knew her when she was a child and he’s a friend of her dad’s. Their relationship is beyond inappropriate, even if she is a consenting adult. Not only did they have an age gap in which Richard held a bit more power, but he always knew he didn’t want to have kids again, while Monica always wanted to be a mother. Just don’t date if that’s the case! The hurt that Monica felt when they broke up lasted several episodes, so he should have known to not even entertain it to begin with.
10 — Emily (Helen Baxendale): Ross, Seasons 4-5NBCRoss and Emily’s wedding is infamous, and for an apt reason. Ross accidentally says, “I take thee, Rachel,” when marrying Emily, and she’s (understandably) furious. But from the moment she shows up, she’s contrary and stubborn. So when Ross messes up, she leans into that side of her personality to try to control his every movement, and even tries to stop him from seeing Rachel. While he agrees at first, he realizes that’s not the basis for a solid marriage and thankfully breaks things off, but not before we can a likable love interest become the villain.
9 — Charlie Wheeler (Aisha Tyler): Joey and Ross, Seasons 9-10NBCCharlie starts out as a hilarious attempt at diversity casting from the Friends production team. However, when she and Ross seemingly connect on an intellectual level, she ends up making out with Joey instead. But the shot to Ross’s heart isn’t enough — she has to spend weeks dating Joey before she realizes she has feelings for Ross. Then, when she does date Ross (who’s going through his own reckoning while Joey dates Rachel), she realizes she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart (Greg Kinnear). Get it together and figure out your feelings before breaking hearts, Charlie!
8 — Pete Becker (Jon Favreau): Monica, Season 3NBCA fun departure from Monica’s typical careless ex-love interests, Pete goes after her like there’s no tomorrow. At times, his determination to win over Monica is creepy (he writes her a check for $20,000), but in the end, it’s an admirable effort when she falls for him. However, they break up for the weirdest reason of any love interest: he decides he wants to be the world’s best MMA fighter because he needs to conquer every area of success. Talk about an ego! Monica needs someone who can appreciate her success as much as their own.
7 — Elizabeth Stevens (Alexandra Holden): Ross, Season 6NBCLike the Richard-Monica relationship, Elizabeth and Ross had a major age gap. Not only that, but he was her professor! However, Elizabeth isn’t the villain here, as Ross was in the power position to be able to say no. Her dad (rightfully) disapproved of their relationship, and ultimately, their maturity levels just didn’t match. She wasn’t a bad person at all, but dating Ross was definitely not good for either of them.
6 — “Fun” Bobby (Vincent Ventresca): Monica, Seasons 1-2NBC“Fun” Bobby wasn’t in too many episodes and never seemed like a serious love interest for Monica, but their relationship was always fun. He knew how to joke around and every “friend” loved him … until they realized that he was only “fun” because he was an alcoholic. Even still, this doesn’t make him a bad person. In fact, he quit drinking just to keep his relationship with Monica. The storyline was a strange one, with the writers deciding to make him boring after he stops drinking, but he’s also a reminder to not rely on alcohol in social situations.
5 — Susie Moss (Julia Roberts): Chandler, Season 2NBCSome might say Susie is a pretty bad ex considering the fact she embarrassed Chandler to the nth degree. However, he deserved it! We love a woman who puts one of the “friends” in their place, and Chandler caused Susie’s unfortunate “underpants” nickname throughout her school years. The fact that Julia Roberts decided to be in a Friends episode and she gave Chandler what he deserved? We stan Susie Moss.
4 — Tag Jones (Eddie Cahill): Rachel, Season 7NBCWhen Rachel turns 30, she’s dating the lovable Tag, portrayed by Miracle actor Eddie Cahill. He’s handsome, young, and fun, which is everything we want to be. However, Rachel realizes she’s getting to the age when she wants to settle down and start a family, but Tag is just not there yet. That doesn’t make him or Rachel a bad person — their connection was just made at a bad time. And while we don’t condone dating an employee, their flipped power and gender dynamics made a fun relationship to watch in the later seasons of the show.
3 — David the Scientist Guy (Hank Azaria): Phoebe, Seasons 1-10NBCPhoebe was actually supposed to end up with David the Science Guy, but viewers loved her soon-to-be husband, Mike, so much, that the writers had to abandon the series-long romance with David. He popped in and out after they met. He was called to Minsk for a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity, but in choosing that, he lost out on Phoebe. For a while, we thought they were end goals, but Phoebe had to end up with someone who matched her high quirky energy, whereas David was a little too pensive and hesitant in the end.
2 — Janice Litman-Goralnik (Maggie Wheeler): Chandler, Seasons 1-10NBCShout it from the rooftops — Janice is a feminist icon. She has zero cares about what other people think. She’s authentically herself with the high-pitched voice and nasally laugh and yet, there’s something so endearing and charming about her. Now, we are forgetting about when she cheats on Chandler with her ex-husband and breaks his heart — obviously, that sucks. But we love her and what she represents. Sometimes people mess up, and that’s what happened to Janice. But luckily, her mistake means that Chandler falls in love with Monica in the end!
1 — Mike Hannigan (Paul Rudd): Phoebe, Seasons 9-10NBCEverybody thought that Phoebe would end up with David the Scientist Guy, but when Mike shows up, everyone falls in love with him. He fits in perfectly with the six friends and comes in with a big personality of his own, full of sarcasm and musical talent. He loves and supports Phoebe for who she is, even after she cries all throughout their date, and despite his very human missteps of not wanting marriage after a bad experience, he ultimately decides to marry Phoebe. Who could be better? No one.
From stylish comedy capers to bone-chilling sci-fi horror films, here are seven remakes that genuinely outshine the original.
Like their spiritual counterparts in prequels, sequels, and large-budget reboots, Hollywood has seen numerous remakes grace the silver screen over the past century or so. In some cases, these remakes are … less than fantastic, disappointing audiences who expressed nothing but love for their earlier cinematic predecessors.
As many frustrating remakes as we’ve seen in the past, the film industry has also released its fair share of remakes that have more than lived up to the initial installment in its series. From stylish comedy capers to bone-chilling sci-fi horror films, here are seven remakes that genuinely outshine the original.
Ocean’s Eleven (2001)Warner Bros.With the endearing success of the recent Ocean’s franchise, it’s easy to forget just how fantastic the 1960 version of Ocean’s 11 was in its heyday. Drawing on the magnetic star power of the Rat Pack, Ocean’s 11 coasted on the supreme acting capabilities of its main cast (most especially Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr.). With 2001’s Ocean’s Eleven, filmmaker Steven Soderbergh expanded upon the high-concept premise of its predecessor, weaving in some sleek direction, sharp comedy, and an even larger cast of main and supporting players.
The Fly (1986)20th Century FoxDirector David Cronenberg has developed a sizable reputation for his highly visceral body horror films. Applying that same gory sensibility to his remake of The Fly, Cronenberg once again terrified and nauseated audiences the world over. While the original Fly succeeded as a kitschier B-horror vehicle, Cronenberg’s The Fly spends a significant portion of time stripping away Seth Brundle’s humanity, transforming him from an amiable if conceited scientist into the increasingly animalistic Brundlefly hybrid.
True Grit (2010)Paramount PicturesDon’t’ get us wrong, 1969’s True Grit is a definitive classic in the Western genre. But when it comes right down to it, the Coen brothers oversaw a timeless postmodern addition to the Western landscape with their 2010 version of True Grit. Faithfully adapting Charles Portis’ original novel, the Coens eloquently capture the rugged sense of adventure explored in its literary source material, right down to its bittersweet final chapter.
It (2017)Warner Bros.As one of the most terrifying books ever penned by horror maestro Stephen King, any film adaptation of It was guaranteed to scare the dickens out of the average movie-goer. While most viewers knew they might be frightened by 2017’s It, nobody knew just how horrifying the final results would turn out to be. Though the original 1990 miniseries was limited by a low budget and dated special effects, 2017’s It took full advantage of its more impressive production values, paving the way to one of the best horror movies of the 2010s.
A Star Is Born (2018)Warner Bros.The fourth film to bear the A Star Is Born name, 2018’s A Star Is Born utilizes every necessary filmmaking characteristic it takes to make a great movie, from sensational direction to some gut-wrenching performances from its main leads. Never shying away from its tragic albeit realistic depiction of alcoholism and depression, 2018’s A Star Is Born is sure to leave most viewers weeping by the time its final credits begin to roll.
Dune (2021)Warner Bros.Like several other movies on this list, 1984’s Dune was plagued by problems from the very get-go. Most obviously, the studio behind Dune’s production feared the astronomical cost of making an epic on par with the original novel – something Denis Villeneuve never balked at. As a result, while most of 1984’s Dune left out key elements from the book, Villeneuve’s two-part Dune saga creatively adapted its source material for the big screen, dovetailing an overarchingly faithful script with an A-list cast of actors and some first-rate special effects.
The Thing (1982)Universal PicturesLike most remakes, 1982’s The Thing doesn’t adhere very closely to the underlying narrative elements of 1951’s The Thing from Another World. Distancing itself from its predecessor in more ways than one, The Thing managed to create an unforgettable sci-fi horror movie as tense and claustrophobic as Alien. Cleverly relying on the concept of a shapeshifting alien as its chief antagonist, The Thing’s growing suspense and budding air of mystery leaves viewers every bit as perplexed and paranoid as its main characters.
Meryl Streep has a handful of spooky and kooky, campy and creepy splendors in her portfolio perfect for the Halloween season.
Though three-time Academy Award winner and multi-hyphenate Meryl Streep is known for her deft performances in dramatic roles, such as Doubt, The Iron Lady, Sophie’s Choice, and many more tearjerking, socially-conscious, and narratively taut cinematic splendors, the living legend has dabbled in the spooky and the kooky, the manic and the magical. So, if you’re looking to sit down for a Streep marathon that will satisfy your Halloween-season needs, we’ve got you covered.
‘Death Becomes Her’ 1992 | PeacockDeath Becomes Her is a kooky campy rollercoaster featuring Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn as the best of frenemies. With a melodramatic fervor, Streep sinks her teeth into the aging Hollywood starlet Madeline Ashton, who will do anything to remain young and beautiful. What’s a soul worth anyway? A life of immortality — isolated as those around you die — sold…in exchange for perky bosoms and a wrinkle-free expression. Though the movie is a heavy-handed take on Hollywood, vanity, and the struggle to remain relevant in an industry that prioritizes beauty over experience (for women only), it has become a beloved cult classic in the years since. Death Becomes Her has even enjoyed a fabulous queer afterlife as a tale of struggle and redemption that lends way to makeup-heavy and over-the-top drag queen performances.
The then-advanced and comedy-laden special effects, as well as the strong performances from Streep and Hawn as ruthless and cantankerous competitors, make this horror comedy a worthwhile watch. Showbiz satire meets a deliciously tasteless and almost cartoon-like presentation that will leave you bawled over in hysterics. That is if you love a lavish and vindictive Streep.
‘The House of the Spirits’ 1993 | Prime Video1993’s The House of the Spirits is a multigenerational family saga featuring an all-star ensemble in Jeremy Irons, Winona Ryder, Glenn Close, Antonio Banderas, Vanessa Redgrave, and (of course) Streep. The narrative follows the Trueba family, paying specific attention to Esteban Trueba (Irons) and his wife, Clara (Streep). Esteban is a poor young man who falls in love with Clara — a woman who boasts paranormal abilities. Despite their differences (and the ominous red flags), the two marry and start a family. Yet, Esteban’s violent and authoritarian tendencies surface when he becomes a powerful and wealthy landowner, leading to conflicts within the family.
Weaving together magical realism, social commentary, and familial crises, the film dives headfirst into themes of love and commitment, the influence of political upheaval on individual lives, cultural identity, and generational legacy (exploring Esteban and Clara’s descendants’ lives).
Though critically panned upon its release as an entry into magical realism that lacks both qualities inherent to the genre, Streep’s performance is magnetic. She creates a character whose elegance and grace establish a transcendent sort of beauty — one that reflects her out-of-this-world spirituality. She possesses a mystical aura, as each psychic experience lends way to tonal variations and nuanced physical gestures that capture the character’s ethereal nature. Clara feels authentic despite the film’s lack of sincerity and depth the trailer so strongly aims to suggest.
‘Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events’ 2004 | Prime VideoThough not exactly loaded with paranormal beings or mystical components, Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events boasts a Halloween-esque aura nonetheless, via its fantastical and dark comedic elements. Based on the children’s novel of the same name, the movie follows the recently orphaned Baudelaire children, who are sent to live with their scheming distant relative, Count Olaf (who wants to seize their inherited fortune at any cost). The children escape, but Olaf is never far behind. In one of the film’s brief moments, they wind up in the care of the afraid-of-everything Aunt Josephine (Meryl Streep).
With an endless wide-eyed expression that gets at her phobia-controlled existence, breathy vocalizations, and jittery body movements, she becomes the tormented and terrified Aunt Josephine. “You can trip over the welcome mat and decapitate yourselves,” she tells the Baudelaires, as they start to enter too quickly into her home. The line slips from her lips hastily with a feverish panic. It’s a manic and delicious, though small role for Streep. With a hairdo that screams bouffant meets beehive and a long black gown, it’s as if she’s in mourning for her very life — one she is convinced she will lose at any moment. Yet, despite her crazed disposition, her love for the children is evident. She wants what’s best for them — even if that means imparting her grammatical fastidiousness and fear-of-all mentality onto the impressionable youths.
‘Into the Woods’ 2014 | Disney+Meryl Streep plays Sondheim’s formidable Witch in the cinematic interpretation of his beloved ‘80s musical Into the Woods. The story interweaves several classic fairytales, including Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel, and more, yet it begs to ask what happens after. What consequences do our actions hold? What is the price of a wish? Streep lends her vocals to the reflective musical, serenading audiences with a heartfelt maternal ballad in “Stay With Me” before threatening her culprits with a growling superiority and omniscience in “The Last Midnight.”
Streep virtually gets to play two characters in one in this film. She begins as the raggedy cursed witch, boasting a hunchback, ratty hair, yellowed teeth, and wrinkles. She becomes a divine sorceress with cheekbones contoured to the skies, a cinched waist, glorious purple-gray eyeshadow, and a blowout that drag queens would envy. Her take on the character shifts seamlessly with the physical transformation – from a sort of wicked despondence and laissez-faire attitude to one of condescension and excellence. The all-knowing quality is there from the start, but her take on such power goes from a devil-may-care apathy to hyper-fixated attention and dominance. Her gestures and vocal intonations follow suit.
With impeccable comedic timing and nuanced villainy that, over time, establishes her relatable humanity, she injects humor and compassion into a regretful character yearning for redemption. She dodges the “evil witch” trope, drawing audiences into her web of woes, as you come to feel for the villain, the baddie, the evil-doer: “The Witch.”
‘Mary Poppins Returns’ 2018 | Disney+ In Mary Poppins Returns, which follows a now-adult Michael Banks as he discovers his home is soon to be repossessed, Meryl Streep plays savior Mary Poppins’ (Emily Blunt) cousin Topsy. Topsy boasts a vaguely Eastern European accent that is intentionally non-specific and laugh-out-loud funny. She sings one number in the film, “Turning Turtle.” Wearing an orange-haired wig, bracelets up to her elbow, and a rainbow-hued getup, she’s a nutty craftsman who repairs broken items. Yet, when her world turns upside down, which happens every Wednesday, she’s hopeless. She can’t even thread a needle.
Streep has a certain knack for portraying the playfully crazed, and she brings that flair for excessiveness to the trinket-tinkering Topsy. The fast-paced number shifts from doubt, anxiety, and terror to understanding and bliss as Mary teaches Topsy to change her perspective with the flipping world around her. It’s a brief but fun, sing-a-long moment perfect for a family movie night this Halloween season.
You don’t want to find yourself trapped in a relationship where you’re always on alert. You don’t want your alarm bells to go off whenever your person leaves the house without you, whenever they take a minute too long to text back, whenever they tell you a story about their day. If you can’t trust your person to be one hundred percent honest with you, then maybe you aren’t meant to be with that person. Maybe you need to find someone who is incapable of looking you in the eyes and lying to you. Your partner should make you feel secure. There shouldn’t be any doubt in your mind about whether their feelings for you are real or whether they are planning to stay in the relationship for the long haul. This person should express their love for you through their actions, and their loyalty, not only through their words. When they make a promise, they should follow through on it. No exceptions. No excuses. You’re never going to make a relationship without trust work. Of course, you need to pay attention to where those trust issues stem from. If an ex cheated on you and you’re always on high alert because of the bullshit you’ve been through in the past, that’s something you can work toward changing. You can establish open communication with your partner, so you feel more comfortable with them, so your doubts slowly start to fade. But if their behavior is the whole reason why you’re worried, if they are too flirtatious for your taste and you keep catching them in ridiculous lies, there’s a problem. If you’re in a serious, monogamous relationship, your person should only want you. They shouldn’t be hung up on their exes. They shouldn’t be crossing boundaries with their friends. They shouldn’t be making you feel insecure about your worth, your beauty, or the stability of your relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you catch your partner cheating. If they make you feel like they could cheat at any moment, if you’re constantly expecting them to walk away and abandon you, then something needs to change. Maybe you can sit down and come to a compromise. Or maybe you need to leave. Either way, you don’t want to remain in a relationship where you’re extra insecure, extra uncertain, extra paranoid. The right person will reassure you that they are head over heels for you. They’ll make it clear that they’re interested in you and only you. They’ll tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear, and they won’t keep any secrets from you. You will never have to doubt what they’re saying. You will never have to wonder whether you’re getting the whole story. Love someone loyal because staying faithful is the bare minimum your partner should do for you. Love someone loyal because giving out more and more chances to a cheater is not worth the stress. Love someone loyal because you don’t deserve the pain of feeling like you’re second best.
Some of my articles are sweet and nice, others cut straight to the point and bring you truths you may not want to hear but could really benefit from. This article is the latter.
Look, I’ve been there, For a large chunk of time I was not girlfriend material. I was hookup material, I was great time material, but I was like Teflon when it came to guys, nothing stuck. I was capable of filling them with an intense desire for me, but it always fizzled out quick and I was left baffled time and time again. What’s wrong with me? Why can I catch them but never keep them? Why am I not good enough?
The fact is, there was a lot wrong with me! My perception of myself and my ways of going about getting what I wanted was totally skewed. I, like many, thought having a guy would give me this sudden sense of worth. I, also like many, failed to realize that I first needed to create that sense of worth within myself and until then I would be a tub without a drain, you can pour in as much water as you’d like but it will remain empty.
Based on the questions I receive, this is something a lot of women struggle with. And I get it. It’s harder than ever these days to be confident and totally happy with yourself — how can we when we’re all addicted to our phones and being flooded with perfectly curated images of other women living these seemingly perfect lives. And then there are the dating apps making it easier and harder than ever to settle down.
It’s tough out there but it doesn’t have to be. Be real with yourself and try to identify the reason why you can’t attract the kind of relationship you want.
These are the 5 most likely reasons you aren’t “girlfriend material.”
- You lead with sexThis was always my biggest issue. I would lure them in with my sexuality, and a man being a man would happily latch onto it, but then there wasn’t much else to work with.
I got high off of being wanted so that was the goal … not so much being seen and building a connection. And a lot of women do this. It feels good to be desired. It’s a drug. So we lead with our sexuality. We dress a certain way, act a certain way, all with the intention of getting his juices flowing and capturing his attention, but then what?
OK, so he’s intrigued and he finds you attractive, but that really doesn’t mean anything. You may think it does, but he doesn’t see it that way. For guys sex is sex and a relationship is a relationship. Sex isn’t a means to get a relationship and oftentimes it’s not a measure of how he feels.
Women who lead with sex often don’t feel like they have much else to offer deep down. It’s an underlying lack of worth that causes you to rely on something foolproof, your sexuality, to get his attention but like I said, this doesn’t usually make for a long-lasting romance.
- You can’t connect with himPeople who are insecure or have an agenda when entering into a relationship usually fail to get the relationship to go anywhere because they can’t truly connect. The reason is they are so stuck in their own heads, consumed by their worried thoughts, that they can’t possibly form a genuine connection with someone else.
You constantly worry about how he feels. You measure the number of texts and time how long it takes for him to text you back. When you don’t hear from him for a while, you feel a knot in your stomach and crumble into a pit of despair. You kind of always suspect he’ll leave you because that’s what always happens to you, so you are always on the lookout for something that looks like a bad sign.
You pay more attention to how he feels about you than to how you feel about him. Is this really the right guy for you? Does he have the qualities you’re looking for? You don’t really care, or at least, you don’t think about it. Instead, all you think about is how he feels about you. Is he serious about you? Is he going to commit to you? Does he like you or is he just using you?
You play what I call emotional detective, constantly gathering and analyzing clues to see how he feels. You think you’re protecting yourself, you think that this is helpful, but really you’re just pushing him further away.
You can’t connect with someone who isn’t there. If you are only engaging with your own worried thoughts, you can’t possibly connect with him on a real level so it’s no surprise that things will quickly fizzle out.
- You choose the wrong guysIf you always end up with guys who won’t call you their girlfriend, it’s very possible you’re going after the kinds of guys who don’t want anyone to be their girlfriend. I call them damage cases. They are emotionally damaged guys with major commitment issues. And unfortunately, they are usually pretty hard to resist.
A damage case will never see you as girlfriend material because he finds something wrong with everyone. At the same time, women who go after damage cases usually have a fair degree of damage of their own.
If you believe deep down that you are unworthy of love, you will be most drawn to guys who treat you like you aren’t worthy of them, hence proving your subconscious right. (It’s pretty twisted, but our subconscious is always looking for validation, even if it’s something painful that we don’t want to be the truth.)
Don’t be that girl who thinks all she has to do is love him hard enough and then he’ll come around. You want a partner, not a project. You want someone who can handle his life, not someone you need to fix. Seeing a guy as a fixer-upper is how codependent and toxic relationships begin.
If you can’t ever seem to get the relationship you want, it’s time to look at the kinds of guys you’re going after. And don’t give me, “I can’t help it, these are the kinds of guys I’m attracted to!” Just think about how sad that is. The only guys you want are the ones who don’t want you? If that’s the case, you need to really get to the root of what’s driving your behavior.
- You’re a drama queenMen hate drama. Here is a very simple and basic truth about men. If you can understand this, you’ll basically understand everything you need to know about why men act the way they do. Men move towards what feels good.
If it feels good to be around you, he’ll want to be around you. If it feels bad to be around you, he won’t want to be around you.
Starting drama is usually a plea for attention which comes from—you guessed it— deep insecurity. Maybe you flip out at him over something minor, maybe you trash talk his friends or yours, maybe you just always have an issue or a complaint. You need his attention, whether it’s positive or negative.
Constantly starting drama with him is also a means to gain reassurance from him about how he feels. He doesn’t text you one night, you assume it means he’s cheating or he’s losing interest, and you make a huge stink about it, really hoping he’ll shower you with reassurance of how much he cares.
The fact is, if you don’t feel deserving of his love, then nothing he does will convince you otherwise. Which brings me to my next point …
- You don’t really love yourselfI’ll keep saying it until I’m blue in the face. You can never let love in from the outside if you don’t already feel it on the inside.
It just doesn’t make sense. How can you possibly believe someone could love you if you don’t love yourself? And forget love, a lot of people don’t even like themselves.
Self-love does not come through being in a relationship. Neither does happiness. Neither does healing from all your emotional wounds. If you have internal emotional issues, they are yours to deal with and until you do, romantic relationships will never come easy.
Now I’m not saying they’ll never come. There are plenty of people who hate themselves who are in relationships. But I guarantee you those are not happy relationships.
The most important factor when it comes to having a love that lasts is being in a good place internally. Once you’re there, then some of it comes down to timing and luck. But you can’t always control these things. The only thing you can control is yourself. Make sure you are at your best, that you’ve worked through your issues, that you feel good about who you are and are confident you will find a man who really sees and appreciates you.
Take the long way home. Enjoy the scenery. Observe the way they wake up and take note of what makes them laugh. Know when it’s about them and when it’s about you. Find the spectacular in the mundane. Ask them to text you when they get home, to work, to their vacation destination. Be infinitely curious about how they live their days. Take time apart. Make room on the couch. Embrace the fact you don’t know what’s best for them. Set boundaries. Express gratitude. Practice trust, even when it’s scary (especially then). Keep both feet on the ground. Admit your mistakes. Accept their apologies. Throw away the scorecard. Kiss like you mean it. Ask more questions. Accept that it can be really hard to merge two paths; keep trying to anyway. Give them the aux cord. Give them the last fry. Give them the last word, even if you’re really fucking pissed. Figure out what is worth the fight and what is not. Hold the door. Hold their hand. Hold space. Save them a seat. Notice the scattered gold flecks in their eyes. Tell them you’re proud of them; tell them this often. Dance in the kitchen. Play hide-and-seek in the grocery store. Know you’re lucky. Don’t be hasty. Point out the dip in the sidewalk. Offer your arm. Offer your heart. Offer your world. Know when it’s time to lovingly let go. Know when you need to hang on like hell.
The beloved Dame Maggie Smith has passed away at age 89. From Downtown Abbey to Sister Act to Harry Potter, here are five of her most legendary roles.
- Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham (Downtown Abbey)Downtown Abbey | IMDbSmith starred in the Emmy-winning period drama series Downtown Abbey as Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham. Downtown Abbey chronicled the lives of the Crawley family, British aristocrats, and their servants in the early 20th century.
Violet was the matriarch of the family and her character was known for her sharp-tongued wit. Violet was Smith’s last role of her illustrious career.
- Professor Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter series)Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince | IMDbSmith captured the essence of Professor McGonagall perfectly. There is no one else who could have portrayed the formidable but fair witch better than Smith.
Interestingly enough, despite the widespread recognition Smith received for her part in the Harry Potter films, she didn’t find the role particularly “satisfying,” as she admitted during a 2019 interview with the U.K.’s ES Magazine.
“I am deeply grateful for the work in Potter and indeed Downton but it wasn’t what you’d call satisfying. I didn’t really feel I was acting in those things,” Smith had said during the interview.
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Mother Superior (Sister Act and Sister Act 2)Sister Act | IMDbIn the hit comedy Sister Act, Smith played Mother Superior, the head nun of a convent that took in nightclub singer Deloris (Whoopi Goldberg) who needed to hide from her mobster boyfriend. The movie is a classic for so many reasons, but it really couldn’t have been what it was without Smith as Mother Superior.
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Muriel Donnelly (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel | IMDbThe Best Exotic Marigold Hotel follows British retirees who travel to India to live in what they believe is a newly restored hotel. However, upon their arrival, the retirees discover that the Marigold Hotel was not as luxurious as it had been advertised. Slowly but surely, the retirees begin to appreciate and be charmed by the hotel. Smith played Muriel Donnelly in this film.
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Lady Gresham (Becoming Jane)Becoming Jane | IMDbBecoming Jane is a 2007 biographical period drama based on the life of Jane Austen before she became the famous writer she is known as today.
In Becoming Jane, 20-year-old Jane (Anne Hathaway) is burgeoning writer who daringly longs to marry for true love. Her parents, however, have other ideas and are looking for a well-off man for Jane to marry to ensure her social status.
The man in question is Mr. Wisley (Laurence Fox), nephew to the incredibly rich local aristocrat Lady Gresham (Smith). Smith’s portrayal of Lady Gresham is incredibly entertaining, filled with sharpness and wit.
The pace is picking up on the live-action adaptation of Keanu Reeves’ BRZRKR comic book series, and it has all the right components to be a monumental hit for Netflix.
All the talk about superhero fatigue has been washed away by the success of Deadpool & Wolverine and how it saves the comic book movie genre. Studio and network executives are reactionary creatures, and everyone will flip on their capes and cowls to demand a slice of that sweet greenback-flavored pie once again. Netflix has invested heavily in the superhero genre in the past too, but it’s never had that big hit – the show or movie that has claimed all the plaudits and eyeballs at a global level. One could argue that The Umbrella Academy is certainly good, but does it compare to the success and reach of, say, The Avengers or a series like Smallville?
There is an ace up Netflix’s sleeve, though: BRZRKR, the BOOM! Studios comic book series that comes from the minds of Keanu Reeves, Matt Kindt, and Ron Garney. Netflix holds the rights for a live-action movie and screenwriter Mattson Tomlin confirmed at the 2024 San Diego Comic-Con that he submitted the latest draft of the script to the streaming service, so it’s one step closer to getting in front of the cameras. More importantly, fans and Netflix should be pumped about what comes next because of the potential of the film.
What is BRZRKR about?What would happen if John Wick was an immortal superhero? That’s the basic premise of BRZRKR. The story follows a Keanu Reeves-lookalike demigod known only as B – the Berserker – who is cursed to roam the Earth for centuries and engage in the bloodiest of violence and battles. In modern times, he’s enlisted to do the dirty work for the U.S. government and in return, he will receive the chance to find out more about who he really is.
Oh, and if anyone is thinking: Who would be interested in this? Well, the project raised over $1.45 million on Kickstarter to get funded in the first place, and the debut issue sold over 650,000 copies, as per Forbes. If it needs to be said: It was a monster hit before anyone had even experienced the full story here.
The beauty about BRZRKR, as demonstrated by the comics, is how it can jump across any time or period. Want to place B in modern times? Cool. What about a long-forgotten empire? Sure thing. The underwater city of Atlantis? Absolutely. How about B in space? Well, Hollywood sent Jason Voorhees up there before in Jason X, so why not strap B to a rocket and do it! Since the character is immortal, the storytelling isn’t limited to a single setting or era. Instead, it opens up the possibility for sequels (and prequels) that not only feel different from what came before it, but also are from aesthetic and storyline perspectives.
For a streaming service like Netflix, this is a dream scenario. Finally, it possesses a comic book-inspired property that is boundaryless in where it can venture and explore. In addition to this, it has one of the most universally beloved actors behind it.
The Keanu Reeves factorNot only did Keanu Reeves conceive the original idea for BRZRKR, but he’s also the face of the franchise. There’s no getting around who B is supposed to be in the real world and no one hides it either. The other good news is, Reeves is prepared to lend both his producing and acting talents to the live-action film. That’s a headline right there.
After The Matrix and John Wick films, Reeves established himself as a modern-day action hero who knows how to roll with the punches and gun-fu. He knows what works – and doesn’t – to appeal to all lovers of roundhouse kicks and bloody noses. Instantly, that sets a high bar for BRZRKR to be nothing short of an muscle-fueled masterpiece, especially if Reeves is allowed to cook and bring all he’s learned from his other films to this project. Plus, he already possesses a built-in credibility and aura as an action star, so it makes it far easier for Netflix to sell him as a hero to the viewers.
Reeves is also a likable personality. As distinctively non-Hollywood as possible, the actor comes across as a down-to-Earth and kind human being who is grateful for his career and supporters. It isn’t too difficult for fans and audiences to get behind him, because everyone likes to see the nice guys win. Knowing how much blood, sweat, and tears Reeves put into this franchise, it’s likely that people will turn up to watch and support BRZRKR on principle alone.
Netflix allows for an R-rated fury of blood and guts Deadpool & Wolverine served as another reminder that there’s a time and place for R-rated comic book movies. Sure, these films might technically isolate younger audiences, but let’s be real here: The kids will still watch them in the end, much like this author snuck a peek at Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop when he wasn’t even in second grade or able to swim without assistance.
With Netflix, it isn’t about ticket sales; it’s about eyeballs. Resultantly, there’s a freedom to create movies how filmmakers want to, including making it as R-rated and gory as the source material requires. For BRZRKR, this makes all the difference, because the comic book series uses a lot of red splashes and body parts flying across the panels. Inspired by the over-the-top violence of the medium in the ’80s and infusing it with a wink of The Boys‘ violence, the story holds nothing back. Expect the cast and stunt doubles to go through buckets of corn syrup for this film.
Yet, violence can only go so far if the story is about as worthless as the last season of Game of Thrones. BRZRKR shouldn’t have this problem, considering the source material and Mattson Tomlin’s influence as a screenwriter. Tomlin knows comics, having written his own and worked on Matt Reeves’ The Batman and its sequel, while he’s built up a reputation as one of Hollywood’s hottest young writers. Not only that, but he’s also the showrunner of the anime Terminator Zero. It’s a big gig and anyone who gets handed the keys to the Terminator franchise knows they’ll have James Cameron breathing down their necks if it’s anything less than spectacular. Tomlin knows how to handle pressure and understands the importance of satisfying fans and creating something worth talking about.
All in all, it appears as if all the chips are falling in place for Keanu Reeves’ BRZRKR to succeed. The ingredients are there for Netflix to shape the next big superhero hit and have the viewers exclaiming, “Whoa!” The fans deserve it. Reeves deserves it. And Netflix deserves it, too. So, let’s hold thumbs that no one Rebel Moons this motion picture into a convoluted and inexplicable disaster.
Here’s a look back at Phoenix’s past filmography, ranking some of his greatest movies from worst to best.
Like all the greatest actors of his generation, it’s difficult to accurately describe Joaquin Phoenix’s skills as a dramatic performer. Time and time again, the Oscar-winning Phoenix has proven himself capable of disappearing into the most idiosyncratic characters imaginable, physically and mentally transforming himself into his foremost roles. Whether he’s playing aspiring rock stars, tyrannical dictators, or traumatized war veterans, Phoenix routinely pours his heart and soul into each of his cinematic performances, tackling his roles with utter fearlessness and emboldened imagination.
As we continue to await the release of his new movie, Joker: Folie à Deux, we decided to look back at Phoenix’s past filmography, ranking some of his greatest movies from worst to best.
Walk the Line (2005)20th Century FoxAs one might expect, it would take a truly one-of-a-kind actor to capture the larger-than-life presence of rock and roll legend, Johnny Cash. Fortunately, Phoenix proved more than up for the challenge with his 2005 biographical drama, Walk the Line. Adopting the Man in Black’s foremost characteristics, Phoenix eloquently presents a living, breathing portrait of the iconic musician, right down to Cash’s distinct body language and sultry speaking voice.
C’mon C’mon (2021)A24Parenthood is a unique ordeal that ushers in as many problems as it does heartrending joys. Such is the simple yet relatable premise behind 2021’s masterful drama C’mon C’mon. Examining the relationship between a middle-aged radio host and his nine-year-old nephew, C’mon C’mon offers a satisfying illustration of family, friendship, and mutual support in the wake of personal tragedy. Opposite Woody Norman, Phoenix provides a paternal source of support for his younger co-star, emphasizing his character’s growth from self-imposed solitude into a more outgoing family man.
The Master (2012)The Weinstein CompanyThe first of two collaborations between Phoenix and director Paul Thomas Anderson (followed by Inherent Vice two years later), The Master also pits Phoenix against the similarly awe-inspiring theatrical performer, Philip Seymour Hoffman. Taking ample advantage of his two stars’ eminent potential, Anderson allows Phoenix and Hoffman complete creative freedom here, laying the groundwork for numerous strange, uncomfortable, thought-provoking, and cathartic interactions between Phoenix and Hoffman’s wildly opposing characters.
Gladiator (2000)Universal PicturesOne of Phoenix’s earliest breakthrough performances came with his starring role in 2000’s Gladiator. A dramatic throwback to the sword-and-sandal epics of the 1950s and ‘60s, Gladiator finds Phoenix donning the flamboyant garb of the infamously corrupt Roman emperor, Commodus. Scheming his way to power at the cost of his family, Phoenix slips beneath viewers’ skin every time he appears on screen in Gladiator, predating other unstable monarchs and politicians like Game of Thrones’ Joffrey Baratheon or House of Cards’ Frank Underwood by a good decade.
Joker (2019)Warner Bros.In his original inception and subsequent depictions, The Joker has always been portrayed as a psychopathic criminal mastermind the audience isn’t necessarily meant to sympathize with. In that sense, Phoenix’s iteration of the Clown Prince of Crime is an anomaly, helping his portrayal stand out against the giggling mania of Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, or Mark Hamill. Offering a far more humanistic take on Batman’s famed archenemy, Phoenix manages to win over audiences’ hearts the moment he appears on-screen in Joker, allowing us a deeper look into the Joker’s increasingly volatile psyche and fragile emotional state.
Her (2013)Warner Bros.Few actors channel such a profound sense of loneliness as Joaquin Phoenix, something best evidenced by his roles in The Master, Joker, and 2013’s sci-fi comedy, Her. Melding humor with plenty of poignant emotion, Her’s high-concept premise is made all the more believable by Phoenix’s grounded lead performance. Displaying a constant need for love and companionship in each and every one of his scenes, we all end up feeling a deep connection to Phoenix’s lead character in Her, mainly because we’ve all experienced the heartache that comes with failed romances at one time or another.
You shouldn’t stay in a relationship where you’re miserable or lonely or neglected. If you want to try to make the relationship work for a while, that’s wonderful, but you need to stay realistic. You need to recognize when your hard work isn’t paying off, when the other person isn’t putting in any effort, when the relationship clearly isn’t going to work out in the end. It’s better to say goodbye to the wrong person than to say goodbye to your standards, your morals, your dreams of a happier future. If this person isn’t giving you what you need, you’re allowed to walk away. Don’t stick around in the hopes that they’ll come to their senses and treat you right. Pay attention to how they’re treating you right now. Remember, you’re not a quitter for ending the wrong relationship. You don’t want to deprive yourself of the opportunity to find someone who meets your standards, who surpasses expectations, who makes you feel loved and valued with every breath they take. You should be with someone who brings out the best in you, not someone who brings out the worst, who makes you break into tears every night, who causes you to scream your lungs out during fights. It’s better to quit on your relationship than quit on yourself. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you aren’t going to be able to find someone else who loves you as much as this person loves you. Don’t convince yourself that this is your only shot at love and if you walk away now you’re going to be alone forever. Don’t let yourself believe that the single life is any worse than a life where you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, where you’re ignoring your discomfort to try to keep the peace. Ending the wrong relationship isn’t something you should be embarrassed about doing. It’s a reason to be proud of yourself. You’re choosing the harder road. You’re deciding to do what is best for yourself instead of what will ruffle the least feathers. So many people remain in relationships that aren’t making them happy, but you are refusing to live a mediocre life. You know you deserve something extraordinary, so you’re taking a shot on yourself. You’re choosing to believe that something more beautiful is out there – and it is. Remember, it’s better to give up on your relationship than give up on yourself. You don’t want to assume this uncomfortable relationship is the best that you can get. You don’t want to assume that no one else would want you. You need to have more confidence in yourself. Settling means you don’t trust yourself to discover happiness on your own. It means you have more faith in this other person than you have in yourself. Stop selling yourself short. Stop assuming this life that isn’t even making you happy is the most you deserve. If you have to give up on your relationship, that’s fine, but don’t give up on yourself.
- Self-trust.
- How to poach an egg.
- How to curl my hair with a curling iron, not a wand.
- The ✨ point ✨ of life.
- If there is a ✨ point ✨ to life.
- The art of just letting some shit go.
- My signature style.
- The U.S. tax system.
- How to be delicate.
- How to be soft.
- How to be mysterious.
- The art of being fully present.
- Self-confidence.
- Graceful goodbyes.
- My life philosophy.
- Love.
- Math.
- Hangover cures past age 25 (I’m not sure they exist).
- God.
- How to be a better daughter.
- Cross-stitching.
- Subtlety.
- The Liam Neeson movie The Grey.
- Euchre.
- Why some things have to hurt so much without a lesson.
- Standing up for myself without freaking the fuck out.
- Salsa dancing.
- Trusting the process.
- Contentment.
- How to lean into the good moments without fear.
I lurched awake suddenly at 3 am. I instinctively reach for my phone. No missed calls, no texts. He didn’t call me back. He always calls me back. He’s cheating on me. He’s with a girl right now. I am more certain of this fact than I’ve ever been about any other aspect of our relationship. We were always on shaky ground. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And now it has.
I don’t want to be right. I really want to be off about this, so I do something that always served me well in my love life, I lean on my remarkable capacity for self-deception. I wake up the next morning and treat it all like a nightmare. It never happened, everything is the same.
So I go about my day, brushing any awful thoughts aside. He and I were in a long distance relationship for the summer because I was home before starting my senior year of college. While I really loved him, at least I thought it was love at the time, the relationship was unhealthy, codependent, and horribly toxic. I didn’t just love him, I needed him. And he needed me. We were basically everything to one another. We didn’t have much going on outside of the relationship and as a result, it felt like he was a part of me, and not in a good way.
I was interning at a magazine that summer and was scrolling through Facebook to pass some time between assignments when I saw something I couldn’t unsee. A girl, a very hot girl, posted on his wall. I tried to find some other explanation, but she was obviously referencing them hanging out together and I just knew.
He called me later that night acting like everything was normal. I wanted to participate in the charade, but I just had to ask.
“So why didn’t you call me back last night?”
“I was just hanging out, you know.”
“Hanging out with who?”
“Just people.”
“You were hanging out with a girl.”
“Yes.”
“And you cheated on me,”
“Yes. I’m so sorry.”
“I can’t believe you. Never talk to me again.” I hang up the phone and cue the tears.
We talk again later that night but it’s useless. I want him to beg for my forgiveness—I’m ready to forgive before he even asks for it!—but he doesn’t. This is the end. He didn’t just cheat on me, he’s leaving me for her. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything more painful in my life, not even childbirth.
I was literally gutted, ripped open from end to end. I didn’t understand how I could function in the world without him. It just felt wrong. I walked around constantly sick to my stomach, my world perpetually tilted on an axis to the point I couldn’t even walk in a straight line. It was like I had gone through the looking glass, nothing made any sense without him.
But I knew he would come back. He has to come back. I know everything about him. I know his past, his pain, his demons. I’ve been there for him through everything. I don’t have friends anymore, I don’t have a life anymore, I’ve spent every moment of the past year being there for him and helping him get himself together, how can he survive without me?
A few weeks later I’m back in Boston to start my senior year. I feel certain that now that we’re back in the same city he will definitely want me back. It’s like the last time we broke up, he was begging for me back within a few weeks even though he said we should try not to speak for three months. He’ll be back. He will.
But he didn’t come back. Instead, his new girlfriend flaunted their relationship all over social media. And being the masochist that I am, I couldn’t stop myself from tuning in to see the show. They were making bold declarations of their love for one another, posting pictures in bed together (yes, seriously), of them making silly faces, of them making sexy faces, of them, wearing matching thick rim glasses because how adorable is that? It was never-ending.
The worst part was he became the man I always wanted him to be … with her. He wouldn’t even call me his girlfriend to other people and here he was flaunting it to the world with her. He didn’t say he loved me for six months, and he only said it when we were breaking up the first time, and here he was showering her with loud declarations of love after three weeks. He didn’t take me out on fun dates or do anything exciting with me, he just wanted to stay home, order in, and mope. What did she have that I don’t have?
I wasn’t only obsessed with him, I was obsessed with her. I needed to know everything about her. Why wasn’t I good enough? And what makes her good enough?
When the questions got to be too much I called him for some answers. I needed closure, I needed to understand. But what a waste of time that was. It was like talking to a cold distant stranger. All the love he once felt (if it actually existed) was long gone. He just gave me short, “what do you want me to tell you?” answers, followed by sighs of annoyance. If I didn’t feel like nothing before this conversation, I certainly did after.
The pain was too much. It was unrelenting and suffocating. So I dealt with it the only way my 21-year-old self knew how. I partied like a monster. I mean, take the wildest party girl you know, multiply her by 10 and that was me.
I was on a tear like you wouldn’t believe. I was on a mission. My mission: drink to the point that I can’t feel, and also make every guy in the room ache for me. I didn’t care to hook up. I just needed them to want me more than they’ve ever wanted anything. That was my game and I played it well. But oh boy, did it come at a cost.
Soon enough, I discovered that I didn’t need the booze or the boys to feel numb. I was just numb. I was a shell of a person. No more feelings, no more emotions, just black empty darkness. There was a lot of hurt in there, and a lot of rage, but I couldn’t feel it anymore. I turned my feelings off and became almost like a vampire. I came out at night to prey, got my fix, and then retreated at dawn until the sun went down again. It was a sad and sick way to live. And almost tragic. I was punishing myself for someone else’s mistake. And why? For what?
I think that breakup was the hardest thing I have ever had to overcome in my life. Looking back, I don’t even know how I got through it. The healing came, but that was after many years of darkness and of needing to undo faulty beliefs that got deeply wired into my psyche, sabotaging me and my love life for many years after.
I was a classic case of what not to do. But I learned a lot, and have used my knowledge to help countless women heal their ravaged hearts. And with that, here are my tips to recover from being cheated on, the healthy way.
- Deal with itDon’t run away from your feelings, they will always find you. Don’t shove them to the side or bury them under drugs and alcohol. Don’t self-destruct, because what sense does that make?
My default was always self-destruction and many years later, when trying to overcome yet another heartbreak, I was heading in that direction but finally, a voice of reason kicked in!
I had a sudden epiphany, a mature, responsible voice inside that said: no, not this time. I’m not going to feel sorry for myself. I’m going to take care of myself and be healthy. I’m going to go to the gym instead of the bar. I’m going to invest in my relationship with myself so that I learn to like myself again. After that, maybe even love me. And it worked! I actually changed for the better and that one resolution put me on the path to actually finding and having a healthy relationship.
So write about it. Talk about it. Maybe talking to your friends and family will be enough, maybe you need to find a good therapist (the right therapist can literally change your life!). And be kind to yourself! Don’t beat yourself up, physically and emotionally. Work on healing, work on being better.
- It’s not personalBelieve me, I know it feels so personal. He chose her, he didn’t want you, hence, you are not good enough. You are worthless. You are unattractive. You are just plain bad. You will never get what you want in life.
I know how that song goes, I’ve sung it many times over. When you allow these beliefs you get wired in, you ruin yourself. And you blame him for ruining you but it wasn’t him. It was your reaction to what he did that was your undoing.
Honestly, it had nothing to do with you. It was about him. He needed something. Maybe he needed validation, maybe he needed someone shiny and new to worship him, maybe he just needed to feel good about himself, whatever it is, it was his need that lead him to stray, not your lack.
Men don’t usually cheat because they no longer love their partners or find them attractive. It’s because they need a certain emotional fix. In my relationship, he felt like a worthless loser (these were his words, we talked about this a lot but I’ll get to that later). I saw his real, raw self and I wanted to take care of him … and in doing so, I kind of became his mommy. I cared for him like he was a little boy and there is nothing sexy about that dynamic.
I’m not saying what he did was right, what he did was absolutely awful. But can I sort of understand the appeal for him of having this hot sexy girl who worshipped him and thought he was manly and amazing? Yes, because I didn’t look at him that way anymore. I looked at him as a problem I needed to solve. And I did care about him deeply, but not in the same way. He had an opportunity to start fresh, to be with someone who inspired him to get his life together (as opposed to me, who made him feel all too comfortable in his misery), and he took it.
Everyone has what they want to give and get from a relationship. Sometimes it isn’t a match — what you want to give is what he wants to get and vice versa — and sometimes it isn’t. He and I just weren’t compatible. We weren’t good together. It was always too hard, always full of issues, always so sad and dreary. It just wasn’t a match and that’s not such a big deal.
- Don’t punish the next guy for the last one’s mistakeThis is probably the number one question I get from women who have been cheated on: how can I trust again? And it’s not easy to trust a new guy when the last one left you absolutely shattered. But here’s the thing, you will never get the love you want unless you are able to open yourself back up again.
Try to get to the root of what went wrong in your last relationship. What red flags did you ignore? In what ways was the relationship not right for you? What qualities should a long-term partner have?
Trust starts with you. It’s not that you don’t trust men anymore, it’s that you don’t trust your own judgment. If you can really get to the root of what went wrong, and what you would do differently next time, then you will be better able to trust your judgment going forward.
You can’t punish the next guy for the last one’s mistakes. This just isn’t fair. Try as best you can to start anew. If you need to take things more slowly this time, that’s totally fine. As you get more comfortable with the new guy, be open and honest about your pain. Vulnerability is scary, but this is how we emotionally connect so it’s important to let the vulnerability out in doses you are comfortable with.
- Choose wiselyThis ties into the previous point. The best way to trust again and find lasting love is to choose wisely.
I’m not blaming you for what happened. But chances are, you saw some red flags but chose to ignore them.
We all have the power to choose. This is what determines if we get the love we want or not.
I chose poorly and I knew it, I just couldn’t pry myself away. I did what all of us do when we’re entangled in toxic relationships. I clung to the belief that it would get better, and someday everything would be different. As soon as he starts doing better in his career … as soon as his depression lifts … As soon as the stress of our daily lives subsides a bit … then everything will be perfect.
I never could trust him. In the back of my mind, I always knew he would leave for someone else. I always knew I was a placeholder, but who wants to admit something so awful and painful? So I didn’t admit it. I chose not to look at how things were in the present moment and fantasized about what they could be in the future. And boy was my fantasy future off base!
- Stop waiting for closureWhen you wait for the closure to come, you just keep yourself in a holding pattern. You don’t let yourself move forward. You convince yourself that you need this magical closure to open the gates that will allow you to enter the next phase of your life.
Maybe you need answers, maybe you need an explanation. Maybe you think these things are owed to you. But the closure rarely comes, unless you want to wait a really long time. You don’t need him to give you an explanation of why he did what he did. Even if he does, the answer will never satisfy you. He’ll either give you some half-truth to spare your feelings, or he’ll give you the real truth and this will just hurt you. Sometimes closure is just running into him at the grocery store and not feeling the urge to call your best friend immediately and re-hash every single detail. Just like you have the power to choose, you have the power to close the loop.
So what happened to him and her? Well, they broke up after less than two years together. Around that time, I reached out to him to get my closure. We had a very long closure talk, but I didn’t learn anything new. He just confirmed what I knew all along so I wasted over two years of my life convinced that I can’t move on until closure came.
And then we started a website together (don’t even ask how we got from point A to Z, but if you really want to know I can write a different article about that!) And so a business was born, a website about relationships written by a set of exes.
It was hard and complicated and crazy. Feelings were resurrected from the dead, stupid mistakes were made, but that’s all ancient history now. Since I’ve worked so closely with him over the last decade, I know without a doubt he was not, and never was and never would be, the right guy for me. I guess I was lucky in that way because I was able to truly see that it was all for the best. That our relationship ending in such a spectacularly dramatic and devastating way was how it needed to happen.
The point is, you can’t panic in the middle of a sentence. You need to keep going and I promise, one day the clarity and the closure will come. In the meantime, be your best self. Take care of yourself. Don’t punish yourself and adopt negative, destructive beliefs. Know that one day you will find love and happiness and you will be so grateful that you didn’t end up with the guy who broke your heart into a million pieces.
The best characters in Breaking Bad are the ones that skirt the line between “good” and “evil.”
Throughout its five-season run, Breaking Bad successfully blurred the lines between good and bad. Its entire premise is about how mild-mannered chemistry teacher Walter White is pushed to the limit and becomes the infamous methamphetamine cook Heisenberg. Even though he embraces his dark side, the series is designed so viewers continue to root for Walter even when he does awful things. His partner in crime, Jesse Pinkman, is no different.
Viewers are introduced to Jesse when Walter sees him escaping during a drug bust. Recognizing him as a former student, he blackmails him into a partnership. After some initial reluctance, Jesse agrees due to the high quality of Walter’s crystal meth. The interactions between the unlikely pair make for entertaining viewing as they navigate one crisis after the next. It becomes impossible not to love Jesse, who, despite being a casual drug user, is a good person at heart.
Jesse Pinkman: Partner and ProtégéAMCJesse takes most setbacks in his stride, be it almost getting caught in his rolling meth lab or being on the receiving end of beatings. He is the only person who really cares about Walter, who he respectfully refers to as Mr. White, and his cancer diagnosis. Jesse also sees his business partner as somewhat of a father figure, which he desperately needs since his parents cut him off financially and evicted him from his home. So, naturally, the pair forms a strong bond built on trust and loyalty.
With Mr. White’s guidance, Jesse transforms from a lazy addict to someone who successfully manages the distribution aspect of their meth business. He even decides to be more responsible by getting a new apartment and a low-key vehicle. Unfortunately, things go downhill when Jesse and his landlord, Jane Margolis, become romantically involved. Jesse is smitten with Jane even though she pretends not to know him in the presence of her father.
Jesse’s Downward SpiralIt’s at this point in the series that Jesse, whose impulsiveness and carelessness initially came across as endearing, starts to become really irritating. Jane, who is supposed to be a recovering addict, eventually gets the easily-swayed Jesse hooked on heroin. After spending days in a drugged-out haze, Jesse is still high when he arrives for an introductory meeting with Gus Fring. When Walter chastises him for his behavior, Jesse lashes out and reveals all the details of their drug business to Jane.
Jane uses the information to blackmail Walter into giving Jesse his share of their drug money, which she intends to use. But the kind-hearted, trusting Jesse is unable to see that she is just using him, which is why Walter lets her die from an accidental overdose. After Jane’s death, Walter helps Jesse get his life back on track by sending him to rehab, where he learns to accept and forgive himself. He even convinces Gus to hire Jesse as his lab partner.
Jesse Self Destructs But Jesse cannot seem to stay out of trouble and jeopardizes their partnership with Gus by stealing small amounts of meth that he thinks no one will notice. Although his actions put both himself and Walter in danger, Jesse continues to pilfer meth with plans to sell it at his Narcotics Anonymous meetings. When he learns that his friend Combo was killed by a child employed by Gus’ men, Jesse loses all sense of reason and decides to kill them.
The entire situation leads to Jesse going into temporary hiding because Gus wants him dead. Walter finds himself in the middle of things because he will do anything to protect his former student, who he thinks of as a son. This pattern of behavior continues with Jesse getting into varying levels of trouble and Mr. White bailing him out. As a viewer, it becomes exhausting watching the once adorable and silly Jesse throw all their hard work away.
The Final Betrayal Jesse cements his place as the series’ worst character when he turns against Walter in the final season. The reasoning behind his betrayal is complex and is largely due to several morally flexible decisions made by Walter, including his obsession with money, manipulation, and mainly the poisoning of Jesse’s girlfriend’s son, Brock, with Lilly of the Valley berries. Although Walter’s reasons were for the greater good, it was the breaking point for Jesse, who teamed up with the DEA to bring him down.
A lot of Breaking Bad fans interpret this story arc as Jesse finally freeing himself from Walter’s influence. But that doesn’t really make sense since he had the opportunity to leave town and chose to seek revenge instead. His entire plan to work with police to trick Walter into revealing his drug money eventually backfired. Instead, Jesse was kidnapped and forced to cook meth for the Aryan Brotherhood. Moreover, his betrayal broke Walter, who resigned himself to death to save Jesse in the series finale.
These five movies are the epitome of autumn.
It’s late September and as much as I love summer and enjoy all the festivities, my body is so ready for the fall. I need soup, a hoodie, and some crunchy leaves to walk around on. Fall foliage is singlehandedly the prettiest part of fall, and I love nothing more than watching the leaves change. This inspires me to want to watch all the fall movies I can as I watch the leaves change in real-time. Quite a few movies feature beautiful fall scenery and will get you into the mood to celebrate autumn, but below are the five that I find to epitomize fall on the screen.
Hocus Pocus (1993)Walt DisneyThe first movie that comes to mind when I think of fall is Hocus Pocus. The 1993 Halloween classic truly captures the beauty of Salem, Massachusetts. This especially rings true when Max (Omri Katz) rides his bike following Allison (Vinessa Shaw) through a park as all the trees are orange and yellow around them. Everyone in the park is wearing letterman jackets and hoodies, and enjoying the crisp, autumn air. You can almost smell the scent of cinnamon in the air in these scenes.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)Columbia PicturesWhen Harry Met Sally captures some truly iconic scenes in New York City during the fall. Central Park is such a wonderful place to be as the leaves are changing and it’ll truly make you romanticize your life as you walk through, which is also what this movie will do as you watch it. The leaves changing is also a solid representation of Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally’s (Meg Ryan) ever-evolving relationship. You’ll watch When Harry Met Sally and want to book your flight to New York City to feel the way these two did walking the park.
Practical Magic (1998)Warner Bros.Autumn is spooky season time, so it only makes sense that Practical Magic makes the list. Fall feels perfect in a small town where Sarah (Sandra Bullock) works and raises her family. A small town by the water that is full of mom-and-pop shops and farmers markets is so cozy. Plus, add in all the witchcraft, the flowy outfits, and the moody scenery and you have everything that makes autumn special in New England fall.
The Cider House Rules (1999)MiramaxThe Cider House Rules is a World War II film set in Maine, where New England really shines for being the prettiest place to be during the changing of the leaves. As the film reveals a coming-of-age story, the backdrop of Maine throughout the changing of the seasons is warm and beautiful for everyone watching. This helps, as The Cider House Rules is a very emotional and at times, gut-wrenching story. While watching, you can almost feel the crisp fall air dancing around you and the comfort of the landscape will keep your eyes glued to the screen.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Paramount PicturesSleepy Hollow is a bit moodier of a film, as are all Tim Burton films, so truly they all could epitomize the fall feeling. However, Sleepy Hollow sets itself apart as it takes place around Halloween and features pumpkins, cold weather, and spooky ghosts. The contrast of bright reds around the cloudy, forlorn sky shows off how beautiful autumn is as we sip our warm apple cider.
From amoral serial killers to giggling mass murderers, here are some of the most abominable villains in the slasher genre, ranked from the most to least mentally stable.
Slashers remain a fixed staple of the horror genre, dwelling somewhere beside the gorier zombie films of George A. Romero and palpable demonic possession narratives like The Exorcist, The Conjuring, or Paranormal Activity. While it’s difficult to explain slashers’ appeal to mainstream audiences, one feasible reason for the genre’s continued popularity has to do with its infamous antagonists – many of whom rank among the most twisted and loathsome in the entire entertainment medium.
While almost every slasher villain is deplorable in their own unique way, only a select few possess a personality that can only be accurately described as “mentally unhinged.” From amoral serial killers to giggling mass murderers, here are some of the most abominable villains in the slasher genre, ranked from the most to least mentally stable.
Michael MyersCompass InternationalYes, yes, we’re aware that without Michael Myers, there’d be no slasher genre to speak of. But when it comes right down to it, Michael doesn’t suffer from the same deranged need to kill as his fellow horror counterparts in Freddy or Jason. Instead, the Shape merely appears as the physical personification of evil – a living, breathing avatar of pure malevolence incarnate. Murdering everyone in his path with the casual indifference of a kid clobbering ants, Michael doesn’t kill for revenge or jealousy or even a wanton love of killing. He just kills because that’s what he does. Period.
Jason VoorheesParamount PicturesIn a very bizarre way, Jason Voorhees’ prevalent naivety makes him one of those rare horror villains audiences can actually sympathize with. Fatally drowning at Camp Crystal Lake while still just a boy, Jason rose from his watery grave to punish the meddlesome teenagers he believed responsible for both his and his mother’s death. Lumbering his way through Friday the 13th like Frankenstein’s Creature in a hockey mask, Jason’s childlike view of the world makes him every bit as dangerous as he is pitiful – although it’s hard to excuse his casual approach to murder, of course.
ChuckyUnited ArtistsIn life, Charles Lee Ray lorded over the streets of Chicago as a morally bankrupt serial killer who murdered for the apparent thrill of it. Cheating death through the help of a magical voodoo curse, Ray manages to intertwine his soul into that of an average Good Guy talking doll. Using his outward guise as a rosy-cheeked toy doll to his advantage, Ray somehow managed to become an even more sadistic serial killer under his alter ego as “Chucky,” a demonic doll that makes Annabelle look calm and well-mannered by comparison.
Norman BatesParamount PicturesThe granddaddy of practically every slasher antagonist in modern horror, Norman Bates also continues to top any list of depraved slasher villains (with good reason, too). Initially appearing as the mild-mannered proprietor of Bates Motel, it soon becomes apparent that not everything about Norman is quite what it seems. Harboring an alternative identity as his dearly departed mother, Norman carries out swift and brutal murders under his feminine alter ego, literally losing sense of who he is, what he wants, and what he’s done until well after the fact.
LeatherfaceBryonston DistributingLike his stylistic successor in Jason Voorhees, Leatherface isn’t truly evil in the conventional sense of the word. Rather than murdering people out of malicious delight, this hulking Texan hacks up hapless teens out of fear and desperation (thanks in large to the overwhelming abuse he faced at his family’s hands). The masked muscle of the cannibalistic Sawyer brood, Leatherface nevertheless proves himself a massive threat whenever he revs up his chainsaw, chasing after his would-be victims with the speed and determination of an overly caffeinated Michael Myers.
Freddy KruegerNew Line CinemaWhether looking at his original form or his classic resurrected appearance, even the most kind-hearted viewer will find it difficult to condone the actions or personality of A Nightmare on Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger. A soulless child killer initially known as “The Springwood Slasher,” Freddy soon found new life as a dream-dwelling serial killer out of our very worst nightmares. With a physical appearance that reflects his own warped inner character, Freddy’s flagrant sadism, predatory stalking, and psychological manipulation of his victims makes him a villain we all love to hate.
Art the ClownDread CentralWe know it probably seems sacrilegious to put Terrifier’s Art the Clown above other iconic horror villains like Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees – but remember, we’re talking about these characters’ maniacal psychology rather than their established place in pop culture. And with that in mind, who on earth is more psychologically demented than dear old Art the Clown?! A hyper-violent demon who hides beneath the twisted grin of an average party clown, Art has the literal power to make sure his victims keep on living even as he inflicts the most painfully gruesome deaths imaginable on them. Say what you will about Freddy or Jason, but at least they kill you once, rather than murdering you again and again … and again.
Should you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Here are 10 signs you should break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend from dating expert Sabrina Alexis.
Breaking up isn’t merely hard to do, it’s downright brutal … that’s why so many of us avoid the inevitable!
A breakup can feel almost like a death. It’s the death of the potential of what could have been. You went into it with such high hopes of where it all would lead … and now you have to accept that maybe this is the end of the road.
Also, who really wants to start all over again? Who wants to jump back into the dating waters, get to know someone new, open up, figure out this other person and how well you mesh, meet his family and friends, have him meet your family and friends, and so on. It just seems so much easier to stay where you are, with someone you already know, notwithstanding how miserable you make one another.
This way of thinking causes far too many of us to stay in relationships that aren’t working for far too long. And there is a big price to pay for this. You can never recycle wasted time. When it’s gone, it’s gone. How many of your years are you willing to squander? There is also a big cost to your self-esteem.
Being in a bad relationship can wear away at you and turn you into someone you barely recognize. You know you’re unhappy, but you try to convince yourself otherwise because it just seems easier.
One of the most important relationship skills is knowing when to walk away. Knowing when it’s not right. It isn’t always the easy thing to do, but it is really your only option and you’re only delaying the inevitable and cheating yourself out of happiness by not facing the truth.
So let’s look at some of the biggest signs the relationship is done and you should break up.
- You’re holding onto the good memories.You’re not living in the present. You’re living in the past and holding onto the memories of how great things used to be. Nevermind the fact that things haven’t been good in a very long time. Once upon a time you got along, you were madly in love, you laughed and enjoyed each other.
You know things could be good because they were good. But how long will you hang onto these memories? When do you accept that the shiny past no longer exists and all you have is a gloomy present?
- You don’t like yourself.This is one of the biggest signs that this relationship isn’t working. Bad relationships have a way of turning us into bad versions of ourselves, into the worst versions of ourselves. Whereas we started off confident, happy, and full of light, now we’re insecure, angry, and full of darkness. You can’t remember the last time you smiled genuinely or felt genuinely happy.
You know this isn’t you. This unhappy, uninspired, miserable person is a shadow of your former self. So why do you stay? Because of how much you like him. Or how much you think you like him.
A good relationship usually brings out our best. In the process, we are sometimes forced to confront our worst traits, but overall, we feel seen and heard. We feel loved for who we are and this is invigorating and encourages our true selves to shine. Bad relationships do exactly the opposite. So forget about your feelings for him, ask yourself how you feel about you.
- He isn’t trying to make it work.In order for a relationship to work, two people need to be committed to making it work. One person can’t carry the team.
If he doesn’t seem to care about fixing things or he tells you everything is fine as it is and if you have a problem then it’s your problem or he won’t work with you to make things better, then there isn’t much you can do.
Relationships take work. They’re like plants. They need love, attention, and nourishment or they’ll wither and die. If he isn’t willing to put anything in, then there isn’t much to hold onto.
- You feel drained.Being around your partner doesn’t feel good anymore and it hasn’t for a long time. You don’t feel uplifted, excited, or inspired. You feel like you’ve been through an emotional war. You feel drained and exhausted like you have nothing left to give.
You know the feeling. That’s that feeling of utter hopelessness and despair because no amount of trying seems to get you anywhere.
- You are both full of resentment.Resentment is absolute poison for a relationship. It may creep in slowly over time, but will rapidly multiply and take you both over if left unchecked.
A buildup of a resentment is a strong sign that communication has fully broken down. You can’t express your needs to him in a healthy way because he doesn’t hear it, and vice versa. What stops you from hearing it is a wall of resentment that has built up over time. Instead of hearing each other out, you think, “Well why should I do anything for him when he can’t even XYZ for me?”
When arguments arise, which they do with increasing frequency, you fight dirty. Fights are a chance to let all your aggression and resentment run wild and it all comes out. Instead of trying to reach a resolution, an argument causes further dissolution. As a result, you may keep having the same fights over and over, spinning round and round in this toxic circle.
- Your friends and family think you should break up.Your close friends and family usually know the truth. Now the question is how willing are you to listen to what they have to say?
I was in a horribly toxic relationship years ago and not one person in my life approved of him. They didn’t care that I was in love and that I claimed he made me happy. They saw how bad he was for me because they had something I didn’t: objectivity.
I basically ended up isolating myself from everyone closest to me and clinging tighter to my toxic partner, deluding myself into thinking he was amazing and everyone else was crazy and didn’t know what they were talking about. Fortunately, everyone I shunned was sympathetic when the relationship inevitably imploded and they didn’t hit me too hard with the “I told you so” comments.
You may find you don’t tell the truth about your relationship to anyone. When you talk about the relationship, you leave out key details because you know how bad it will sound, and you know what the other person is going to say and you just don’t want to hear it. And if anyone says something even slightly negative about your relationship, you get disproportionately defensive. That’s because the truth hits us harder than any misconception.
- You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.You can’t just relax and just be. You’re always anxious and on edge. Your relationship feels like a minefield. A step in the wrong direction and here comes the explosion. So you tiptoe around the house trying not to make a sound. You’re afraid to do or say almost anything because everything turns into a fight.
You feel physically ill most of the time. There’s a perpetual lump in your throat and knot in your stomach and you are in a hyper-vigilant state, waiting for the next explosion.
- You’re settling for what you don’t want.This is one of the most common scenarios. You’re in a situation that isn’t what you want and you stay … hoping at some point in time it will transform into the magical, loving relationship you’ve always dreamed of. For example, maybe you want a certain level of commitment and he plainly tells you he can’t give it to you … but you stay, hoping he’ll change his mind.
We can keep ourselves shackled to all sorts of horrible situations while clinging to the hope of what could be and this is always, always a huge waste of time.
- You cling tightly to “as soon as…”This ties into the previous point. You aren’t living in the present, you are living in some idyllic future.
The only thing really keeping you in the relationship is the phrase “As soon as.” Everything will be fine as soon as he gets his depression under control … as soon as he isn’t so stressed at work… as soon as his family drama resolves … as soon as he’s ready to commit. You need to look at the situation as is, not what it will be as soon as…
- You are totally incompatible.Chemistry cannot override incompatibility, and yet so many people think a lusty sex life is all you need to survive as a couple! I don’t care how good the sex is, if you are incompatible, it will not work. If you have different values, different life goals, and are unable to fulfill each other’s fundamental needs, this relationship will not last.
Love doesn’t conquer all and it definitely doesn’t conquer incompatibility, despite what romantic comedies would have you believe. You need to identify what it is you want and need in life. What are your goals and values? What is your vision for the future? If he isn’t on the same page and his vision vastly differs from yours then you need to accept that this just isn’t a match and no amount of hammering away is going to make it fit.
- You don’t have to explode to be noticed.
- You don’t win that friend group over, stop trying to.
- People are going to talk shit, let them.
- You have sincere intentions with awkward execution but you become more skillful.
- I understand you, even if nobody else does (by the way, the real friends do speak your language, give them more credit).
- Some texts are better left unsent.
- You will never be “too much” for the right people.
- You will be “too much” for others (learn to accept that).
- You can laugh at yourself without making yourself the joke.
- Don’t give up on your art.
- Don’t give up on yourself.
- Don’t give up your power.
- Slow down.
- Trust is earned. Stop giving yours away.
- Spend as much time with Granny as possible.
- Your mom loves you. A lot.
- Forgiveness will heal you.
- You’re really, really, really bad at math, but you’re going to need to keep showing up to class anyway (not because you get better, sorry, you don’t, but you need to pass Algebra 2).
- Dump him.
- Stay curious.
- Read more.
- Your dad loves you. A lot.
- Continue burning your CDs for those you love.
- Keep your heart on your sleeve (but maybe cover it up every now and then).
- You’re allowed to feel things deeply.
- You get into Michigan State.
- You figure out you’re a writer (you always knew that, though).
- You get your shit together. You figure it out. Be patient.
- You grow into yourself. Life always finds a way to hurt, but it won’t always hurt this much.
- Hang on, it gets better.
Change isn’t always negative. Sometimes, it’s exactly what you need in order to grow into the best possible version of yourself. It gives you the opportunity to see new places, meet new people, and explore uncharted sides of yourself. It pushes you to grow, to take steps forward, to advance on your journey of self-discovery. Of course, change isn’t always easy to stomach. New experiences are inherently scary. They mean you need to uproot everything you know. They mean you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. Even if you aren’t happy in your current state, at least you know what to expect. There aren’t any surprises. You’re prepared for the bullshit that’s about to come your way. When things change, you lose that certainty. You aren’t able to predict what kinds of hardships are waiting around the bend – but that means you aren’t able to tell what good things are coming, either. You can’t automatically associate change with something negative. If you never changed, then you would still be immature and uneducated. You would still be making the same mistakes you made when you were a young kid. You needed to change in order to develop as a person, and that transformation is never-ending. You always have more to learn, more to discover about yourself and the world as a whole. Change is the only constant. Your life isn’t going to stay the same forever. In some ways that’s terrifying, but in others, it’s freeing. If you’re upset with a certain area of your life right now, it isn’t always going to stay that way. Change is always possible. Sometimes it will happen without your approval. Other times, you need to put in the work to make it happen. I’m slowly learning change isn’t something to be feared. It’s something to be embraced. When you’re given an opportunity to change your world, to become a brand-new version of yourself, you need to take it. You need to trust yourself. Trust that you can handle the challenge. Trust that your new experiences are going to be worth the stress. Trust that you have enough expertise to manage whatever is thrown your way. When you believe in yourself, change is a lot less scary. It stops feeling like a curse and starts feeling like an opportunity. Remember, different doesn’t always mean worse. You could swap one good thing for another. There’s not only one way to reach happiness. There are a million little ways to achieve it. Change is scary, so it’s okay if you’re nervous, but you need to remember that you’ve tackled scarier things before. Think of all the horrors you’ve overcome. Think of all the difficult days that you made it through. You survived the toughest challenges. You can survive whatever comes next, too. Remember, if you aren’t happy with a change you make, nothing is stopping you from changing your surroundings again. Most things in this world are temporary, but change is the only constant.
These 9 romance movies are just unconventional enough that you might discover something about yourself while watching.
We’ve all seen the lists of best rom coms. Heck, if you’re like me, you may have even written a few. But there are only so many times you can see the same five movies over and over again before you start thinking that the romance genre has gone stale. Luckily, it’s anything but. While we get plenty of conventional romantic comedy stories, there are others that have totally broke the mold. Not only are these unconventional romance movies brimming with creative plots and interesting couples, they may just awaken something in you that you were never expecting.
Edward Scissorhands (1990)20th Century FoxThere’s a reason why Tim Burton’s 1990 classic has remained a t-shirt staple at Hot Topic for decades. For many, watching Johnny Depp’s black leather strap-clad character with scissors for fingers was their first foray into crushing hard on goth boys. Who doesn’t want to be a super sweet blonde, like Winona Ryder, and attract the gaunt-looking guy who lives in the spooky mansion on the hill? Watch Edward Scissorhands on Disney+.
Benny & Joon (1993)MGMAnother Johnny Depp joint, for better or worse, follows a neurodivergent couple finding love in a world that wasn’t made for them. It’s a great romance for those who don’t feel like everyone else, yet still want to find someone who will treat them like they’re wonderful just as they are. Everyone deserves love. Watch Benny & Joon on Tubi.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)Buena VistaA classic Wes Anderson film that follows a quirky family in that classic aesthetically pleasing, symmetrical look we’ve come to love, The Royal Tenenbaums is more than a romance. It’s a family drama. It’s a way of life. And it also follows a man who can’t handle being in love with his adoptive sister. Watch The Royal Tenenbaums on Amazon Video.
Secretary (2002)LionsgateBefore Fifty Shades of Gray had a stranglehold on middle-aged moms everywhere, there was Secretary. Following a girl working as a secretary for her BDSM-loving boss, it’s the movie that many of those in the BDSM community attribute to their sexual awakening. Watch Secretary on Tubi and FreeVee.
Lars and the Real Girl (2007)MGMThis sometimes uncomfortable indie film follows Lars, a man in a relationship with a sex doll. For him, it’s so important that he believes his girlfriend is real–and everyone in town plays along. While you may love Ryan Gosling, you may not be as into his character in this one. Then again, maybe you will be. No judgement here! Watch Lars and the Real Girl on Tubi and The Roku Channel.
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)Universal PicturesWhat do you do when you’re a politician and you learn that shadowy forces are literally bending reality to keep you on a certain pre-determined path? Break the system so you can be with the woman you love, of course. This is for those of you who love reality-bending storylines and the idea that someone would sacrifice anything to be with you. Watch The Adjustment Bureau on Netflix.
Warm Bodies (2013)Lionsgate FilmsTwo people who aren’t supposed to fall in love can’t seem to stay away from each other. It’s a story as old as time, and yet Warm Bodies managed to do it the unconventional way by making one of them a zombie. And by the end of the movie, you’ll probably be in love with Nicholas Hoult’s R, too. Hate to break it to you, but you like zombies now. Watch Warm Bodies on Peacock.
Bones and All (2022)MGMCrushing on Timothée Chalamet? That’s nothing new. He’s in practically every movie for a reason. But what if Timmy’s a cannibal? That’s what you get with this recent romantic horror movie that’s rightfully considered one of the best romances to come out of 2022. Watch Bones and All on Prime Video and MGM+.
Argylle (2024)Universal PicturesThis is a new spy comedy that I really don’t want to spoil, especially since it hasn’t even been out a year. I’ll just say that it gets incredibly quirky by the end and may make you wish you could be loved by Sam Rockwell. (Then again, who doesn’t?) It’s also not anywhere near as bad as people said when it first came out. I’m not ashamed to admit I loved it. Watch Argylle on Apple TV+.
Only Murders in the Building is the king of murder-mystery programs right now, but Netflix’s film adaptation of Richard Osman’s The Thursday Murder Club is looming and coming for the crown.
The Thursday Murder Club fans rejoice! The first installment of Richard Osman’s hilarious murder-mystery series is on its way to Netflix as an original motion picture. Interestingly enough, the film rights were gobbled up by Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment before the first book’s release in 2020, but Hollywood moves at its own pace so it took some time for the adaptation to move ahead.
Not only is this a cause for celebration for the booklovers, but the film also holds the potential to be Netflix’s answer to Only Murders in the Building. Yes, it’s a movie – not a series – but it’s more than likely it receives a handful of sequels if it does the numbers on the streaming service (whatever that entails based on Netflix’s weird metric system that only it understands).
Prepare to fall in love with compelling characters and outrageous storylinesThe Thursday Murder Club follows the adventures of four pensioners – Elizabeth, Joyce, Ron, and Ibrahim – who solve mysteries in their own unique and unusual fashion. Each character possesses a special skill or soft touch that makes them important to this group, and they succeed because of their differences – not in spite of them. More importantly, there’s a friendship and bond between the characters who are all in their advancing years in life. This is the time in which they are confronted with their own mortalities and the deaths and illnesses of others around them, but they lean on each other to deal with whatever comes their way. As much as The Thursday Murder Club is about crime capers, it’s about friendship too.
Speaking about how he conceptualized the protagonists, author Richard Osman said the following to The Sunday Post: “We are obsessed with young people, but people in their 70s have identical brains to those in their 50s or their 30s. Our circumstances change and our physicality changes and we have a great deal more experience, but we’re still as mischievous and interested and sparky as we always were.”
Aside from the colorful personalities, the novels catapult these characters into high-stakes and riotous scenarios. In the first book, for example, they need to investigate the murders of figures involved in a disputed property development. Since these individuals display questionable business practices, the list of suspects grows with every turn of the page. Now, it’s up to the gang to get to the bottom of it and find out who is responsible and why. This approach extends into every subsequent novel, as the mysteries also reveal more about the main characters and their respective backstories.
The Thursday Murder Club boasts pitch-perfect casting and a proven directorFor every fan, there’s the real fear that the film won’t do the book justice. In the case of The Thursday Club, it’s too early to tell if that will be the case, but it has a few important elements in its favor. For one, the casting is the Avengers-tier level of amazing. Seriously, this ensemble screams perfection.
In terms of the fab four, Helen Mirren steps in the shoes of Elizabeth, Pierce Brosnan plays Ron, Ben Kingsley stars as Ibrahim, and Celia Imrie brings Joyce to life. That’s not all, though, as the likes of David Tennant, Jonathan Pryce, Naomi Ackie, Tom Ellis, and Richard E. Grant all feature in some way. In comparison, Only Murders in the Building contains an impressive lead cast in the form of Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez, with a number of celebrated guest stars scattered across various seasons, but The Thursday Murder Club might one-up it here as it’s talent everywhere anyone looks.
Then, there’s the director and co-writer behind The Thursday Murder Club: Chris Columbus. Everyone knows Columbus for his work on Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire, but he’s the visionary who brought Harry Potter to the big screen in the first two films, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. A daunting task, especially considering how popular the novels were, but Columbus created the foundation for a film franchise that printed money in the billions and has become celebrated as one of the best book-to-film adaptations of all time. Unquestionably, The Thursday Murder Club finds itself in good hands here.
British productions dominate Netflix and other streaming servicesAccording to Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos (via Deadline), British shows, such as Bridgerton and Baby Reindeer, have become the most-watched programming on the streaming platform in the first half of 2024. The British invasion isn’t only on Netflix, though, as Prime Video has also seen a significant rise in viewership for the programming. This all points to the fact that global audiences want more shows and movies from across the pond, and streamers would be wise to pay attention to it.
The Thursday Murder Club is about as British as it comes – not only in terms of its cast, but also in its quirky sense of humor and special way of telling stories. Right now, all the stars are aligning for the movie as it’s arriving in a period in which the mystery comedy genre has never been hotter – thanks to shows like Only Murders in the Building – and British programming remains in hot demand. It’s time for everyone to strap in and buckle up because the next big film franchise is on the way and its name is The Thursday Murder Club.
It’s been a hot minute since I last mentioned the Babadook and Pennywise in an article, so I thought I’d check in with them today. I’m happy to report that these two are still going strong! They’ve bought a new vacation property in the Macroverse and continue to happily feast on children. They did go through a rough patch when Babadook refused to attend any of Pennywise’s improv shows, but Pennywise ended that argument by threatening to burn Babadook’s haunted picture book, which would have deprived Babadook of his supernatural ability to terrorize families.
However, it might be nice to have some other A-List horror couples making headlines in People Magazine, don’t you think? I’m tired of it always being about Pennywise and Babadook. With that in mind, here are 13 other horror villains who should pair up and take the spotlight off of these two – just in time for October.
P.S. Chucky and Bride of Chucky will not appear in this listicle, because that would be too obvious.
Annie Wilkes and Norman Bates Who said Norman Bates from Psycho is canonically gay? Given his, er, all-consuming love for his mother, I’d venture that he’s at least pan. He wouldn’t be the first pan drag queen, after all. And in any case, imagine the sparks that would fly if he met Annie Wilkes from Misery? He’s got mommy issues, she’s got daddy issues (as in, she killed hers), and both of them have hang-ups about religion. Just keep Annie away from those mallets, Normy!
Mother Xenomorph and Bruce, the shark from Jaws As RuPaul might say, call her Mother. I’m talking about the Xenomorph mom from Aliens in this case, but still: “Mother Xenomorph” has a ring to it, and it allows us to make more portmanteaus with her name. For instance, when Mother Xenomorph inevitably crashes into Earth and starts dating the equally powerful and non-human Bruce the Shark, we will call them “Brother Xenomorph.”
Jigsaw and LeatherfaceLeatherface never talks, and Jigsaw doesn’t do anything else. Plus, they love to use masks to hide their true faces from the world. So, what would happen if they removed the masks and saw each other for who they truly were? A murder-suicide? Or love?
Freddie Krueger and Carrie For such a seasoned killer, Freddie Krueger demonstrates very little self control. However, this actually makes him perfect for Carrie, who famously lost her composure to the point that she murdered everyone at her prom. These two can heal each other! Just like Carrie, Freddie is blind to reason and deaf to cries for mercy. Plus, Carrie is potentially undead now, so she can go on little escapes with Freddie to the Nightmare World whenever she’s bored. After all, at the end of the day, these two are just lonely and misunderstood supernatural mass murderers. By the way, I’m talking about the original 1976 version of Carrie, of course. The 2013 Carrie burns in Hell!
Hannibal Lecter and PinheadOut of all of Hollywood’s famous horror movie villains, Pinhead and Hannibal are the most erudite. They love a nice turn of phrase, especially one harboring sinister intentions, and they often play with their food. And while Pinhead would be a generally absent lover – he only appears for ten minutes in 1987’s Hellraiser – this would work out for Hannibal, who’s only allowed short conjugal visits. Do I hear wedding bells?
Michael Myers, Ghostface, and Jason VoorheesWe have a throuple, people! While Michael and Jason never speak, this wouldn’t be a problem for Ghostface, who is perfectly happy having one-sided conversations that don’t go anywhere. Plus, Ghostface is a different person every two years, so Jason and Michael would never get bored with him/her/them. And to top it all off, Michael and Jason are immortal, so neither has to worry about surviving the other. I can’t think of anything more tragic than a beautiful murderous romance getting cut short by natural causes. Oh, and did I mention that all three are mask for mask? Ugh, I deserve to be offed by Ghostface just for making that joke. (Bring it on, daddy. I do like scary movies.)
Some TV shows might not be intentionally related, but they feel as if they’re part of the same universe.
Ever sit down to watch a TV show and think: “Hmm… Why does this feel oddly familiar?” Now, this isn’t about series that pinch premises and storylines from others in the genre (looking at you, police and medical procedurals). Instead, it’s about shows that feel connected to others in unexpected ways – let’s say they feel like origin stories or natural continuations.
Of course, these programs might not have anything in common except for a few shared actors or writers, but it’s still fun to ponder if they take place in the same universe. Since we’re all TV fans around here, indulge us for a couple of minutes as we take a look at the five shows that could easily be origins for other unrelated series.
Gossip Girl and YouGossip Girl / The CWThe biggest connection between Gossip Girl and You remains actor Penn Badgley. However, Dan Humphrey and Joe Goldberg could also be the very same person. Think about this: Dan stalks his own family and friends to update a gossip blog and spill the beans on everyone. He deceives people into trusting (and loving) him and appears to be one step ahead of everyone in covering his tracks about his other activities.
You / NetflixNow, while everyone forgives him in the final season of Gossip Girl, don’t be surprised if others sued him for violation of privacy and slander when they found out he was the person behind the infamous tabloid. What does he do in this instance? He changes his identity to Joe Goldberg and lays low for a while to avoid the litigation, working at a bookstore because he still loves literature. A few years later, the stalker tendencies kick in again as he becomes infatuated with other girls – like he was with Serena van der Woodsen (Blake Lively) – but this time around, Dan goes further and becomes more sinister than before. What a menace!
Game of Thrones and The Walking DeadGame of Thrones / HBOThe first season of Game of Thrones takes place around 298 AC, according to CNN. The timelines in the series then hop forward quite a bit, but it’s still obviously a long time ago since no one whips out a phone to go live on Instagram while the dragons burn cities and humans. However, the comparison between Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead doesn’t lie in the dragons or timelines, but in the history of the White Walkers and wights. The White Walkers appear to have some semblance of a plan – led by the Night King – while the wights simply stumble along to wherever like buffoons and increase their numbers like houseflies.
The Walking Dead / AMCEven though The Walking Dead says its walker problem developed from a deadly virus, it could have larger ties to the DNA of the wights from Game of Thrones. Here’s the reason: These zombie-like creatures love nothing more than to, um, walk; they have no guidance nor leadership from the White Walkers. For countless episodes, they will put one foot in front of the other and never look back. Whether it’s 30 minutes or two seasons later, they’ll still be walking along the same path. Sure, getting those steps in every day is good for the body and soul, but they’re dead – at this point, why are they so obsessed with walking?!
Stranger Things and The X-FilesStranger Things / NetflixCompare the Hawkins gang in the first and fourth seasons of Stranger Things. Initially, they’re terrified by Demogorgons and the Upside Down, but now they’re relatively chilled when facing off against monsters like Vecna. They are no longer afraid of supernatural threats; instead, they know what to do whenever a new foe rears its ugly head.
The X-Files / FoxThey have also had their run-ins with the government, so don’t be too shocked if the FBI has files on the likes of Mike Wheeler (Finn Wolfhard) and Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown). In fact, it would make all the sense in the world if they were recruited to be a part of the X-Files division in the future. Now, this isn’t to say that the gang turns into Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) or Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) later on, but it’s entirely possible. They could have changed their names to protect their previous identities and given themselves backstories to throw off those who sniff around their pasts too much. Regardless, the Hawkins gang could be the brains and noses behind the X-Files.
Reacher and The Old ManReacher / Amazon Prime VideoJack Reacher (Alan Ritchson) is a former U.S. Army operative – a living and breathing weapon – who goes off the grid. He drifts from town to town rather than settling down. Occasionally, when there’s a problem, he returns to help old friends, but it’s clear he holds a tumultuous relationship with authority. He’s seen and experienced things in his life that he can’t escape from.
The Old Man / FXIt isn’t too difficult to imagine Reacher turning into The Old Man‘s Dan Chase (Jeff Bridges) – a former CIA operative who retires in a cozy town and wants peace and quiet for the rest of his days. (Plus, he loves dogs too!) His past actions catch up with him and he finds himself at loggerheads with the government and agencies he once served. This is like the Old Man Logan arc of Reacher in every way.
Breaking Bad and OzarkBreaking Bad / AMCBreaking Bad isn’t only the story of Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul); there are various other people involved in their intricate web of criminality – including one Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) who seems to have all the right connections for all the wrong things. In Breaking Bad, Saul is the one who teaches Walt how to clean his money through the carwash business.
Ozark / NetflixSince Saul is a businessman, he has quite the clientbase and known associates. Seeing how he operates, it wouldn’t be too surprising if Saul knew Ozark‘s Marty Byrde (Jason Bateman) and Bruce Liddell (Josh Randall) from previous dealings. He might have even been the person to whisper in Camino “Del” Del Rio’s (Esai Morales) about how they could help the Mexican cartel. Considering how slippery Marty is and how he thinks on his feet, there’s definitely an element of Saul Goodman in how he operates.
One of the most common areas that trips women up when it comes to relationships is the gray zone, the area where a guy shows interest but nothing really comes of it, and you just don’t know how he feels.
This is usually when I receive the desperate messages from women wanting to know what is going on. They don’t get it. He seems interested … but then he disappears or says he doesn’t want a relationship or just acts shady. But then he comes back and he’s sweet and attentive and now you’re just confused. Does he like me or not?
I get the desperate need to know. It’s a miserable feeling to invest your time and emotions into someone when you’re not sure where they actually stand.
I’ll clear up some of the confusion right now. When a guy likes you, it’s obvious. Through time, experience, and research, I’ve learned that when you have to question how he feels … you already have your answer. He likes you, just not enough.
The problem is so many of us get caught in this trap of trying to figure out why. We can’t understand how he can say so many sweet things, how he can be so open and present when he’s with us, how everything can feel so right when we’re with him … and yet, he just doesn’t reciprocate our feelings for him. He is always out of your reach, and you spend more time analyzing the relationship than you do actually enjoying it.
When He Won’t CommitIf a guy won’t commit, he’s not going to tell you to your face that the reason is he doesn’t like you enough. He’ll tell you something else. Why won’t he just break up with you? Because he does like you. He just doesn’t like you enough to want to be with you.
Maybe he has valid reasons. Maybe he is under a lot of pressure at his job, maybe his parents divorce when he was a kid really did make him stop believing in monogamy, maybe the ex girlfriend who cheated on him really did destroy his ability to trust, maybe he is terrified of commitment … the reasons don’t matter, the facts do.
He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. Maybe it’s because he’s incapable of liking someone past a certain point (a point that would lead to a relationship), or maybe he just doesn’t see himself with someone like you for reasons beyond your control. It doesn’t matter.
What It Looks LikeIf he likes spending time with you and hanging out, but doesn’t want to be official … he likes you, he just doesn’t like you enough.
If you run into each other here and there and talk for hours and maybe even hook up, but don’t hear from him after, he likes you, he just doesn’t like you enough.
If you’ve been seeing each other for a while and he refuses to be exclusive, or doesn’t want to put a label on it … he likes you, he just doesn’t like you enough.
If he says he misses you, but then doesn’t make any attempt to actually see you … he likes you, he just doesn’t like you enough.
Don’t Take It PersonallySadly, most women see his lack of liking as a reflection of them, they make it their problem. They think if only they did more for him, if only they were prettier, if only they could help him learn to trust again, if only they were a little more of this and a little less of that… everything would be different. It wouldn’t.
If that’s how he feels, nothing you say or do will change it.
His issues are his problems. You pave the way for a lot of unnecessary
hurt when you make them your problem. And maybe he doesn’t have commitment issues, maybe he just doesn’t think you’re the right girl for him and that’s really no big deal.
Trust me, I know how hard it is to extricate yourself from this kind of situation. You’ve invested so much time and energy into the situation and you refuse to accept things as they are.
You pay attention to the things you want to hear and disregard anything that doesn’t align with how you want reality to be. You hold onto cryptic scraps of attention and affection and use them as proof that you and he share a deep connection … and then you feel blindsided when he leaves or says he doesn’t want to be with you, even though you kind of knew this was the case all along.
You ignore the truth that’s staring you in the face because you don’t want to accept that he never reciprocated your feelings because that’s painful. It’s a crushing feeling to realize and admit that someone you care for just doesn’t feel the same way about you. I know it feels personal, but it’s not. Not everyone can be a match and that’s OK.
How to DealYou may think that the reason it hurts so much is because he was the guy for you and you let him get away, but really the hurt is stemming from your own ego. You feel unlovable and unworthy and worry that you’ll end up alone, or be forced to settle. These kinds of situations tend to bring out the drama queen in all of us.
Instead of thinking of the worst case scenario—that you’ll die alone in a house full of cats—just calmly remind yourself that he just wasn’t the right guy for you and that’s fine. The right guy for you is a guy who wants to be with you. He’s a guy who shows you, clearly and obviously, that he likes you. He doesn’t drop clues for you to uncover.
Getting over a guy you never quite had can be almost worse than getting over an actual breakup because in this case, you’re mourning the loss of the potential of what could have been. It’s not like a breakup where you got to experience the relationship and its demise. In this case, you never even got to base camp 1. You just had a guy you were casually seeing who never wanted to take it any further, and you’re left with these visions of what could have been.
It sucks. There’s no way around it. But you can’t force a guy to feel a certain way about you. All you can do is be your best self, that’s pretty much it. If you do that and he still isn’t interested, then at least you know you did your due diligence and there’s nothing more you could have done.
The best thing you can do when a situation like this ends is look back and try to find any lessons to learn, at least then you know it wasn’t a total waste of time.
Ask yourself what thoughts/behaviors led you into this relationship. What did you bring to the relationship that was good and that you could use in your next relationship? What did you bring that was negative, and blinded you from seeing what was in front of you? What is something you accepted in this relationship that you will never accept again?
Sit with these questions and see where they take you. Maybe you meditate on them, maybe you journal and see what spills out of you.
Either way, it’s important to spend some time looking within yourself so you can come out of the situation even stronger than you were before.
When they stop texting you back, give them the benefit of the doubt. Wait a day or two before you reach out to check in again. Maybe say something like, “Hey are you okay?” or a more innocuous “This song I found reminded me of you.” Receive no response and wait another couple of hours before you realize that this might be the end. (It is.)
When they stop texting you back, blame yourself. Scroll back and back and back through the string of messages to try and figure out if you said something to upset them or said something so beyond weird that they had no choice but to walk away. Find no proof of either offense but still remain completely convinced their radio silence has everything to do with you and nothing to do with them.
When they stop texting you back, look in the mirror. Pick apart your appearance. Wonder if they left because of the way your jeans clutch your hips or because your hair is long instead of short. Forget that the way you look has nothing to do with your ability to love, and be loved.
When they stop texting you back, swipe open your phone again. Reread the texts and hunt for energy shifts, for signals they had one foot out the door. Find a few suspicious messages but realize the evidence is still inconclusive.
When they stop texting you back, buy a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and get really pissed. Blast Olivia Rodrigo and let the alcohol remind you of everything they did that was uncool. For example, they always ran late, they didn’t seem fully present when you were sharing your heart. You didn’t feel seen or respected when they were around. Become upset you weren’t the one to call it quits before them.
When they stop texting you back, throw yourself into work, into your life. Learn to appreciate the way your jeans hug your hips and realize that you love your hair long (even if they didn’t). Call your friends. Go to bed early. Focus on you. Find that heartbreak gets easier over time.
When they stop texting you back, remember who you are. Forget them slowly but not completely. Pause a moment before you finally delete their number, their texts, the photos. Be grateful it happened but also feel relieved it’s over. Remind yourself you don’t want who doesn’t want you.
When they stop texting you back, understand that sometimes someone you love changes their mind about you and there’s nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. So, instead, honor what happened. Forgive yourself for putting your faith in an empty promise.
When they stop texting you back, move on. Maybe not immediately, maybe not any time soon, but let go eventually. Give it time. Be patient. It’s going to be okay.
Marriage is work but it shouldn’t be hard, especially if you’re married to the right person. And when it comes to these TV husbands, not only did the pick the right partner but they also do whatever it takes to make their relationships work. They really do love their wives with all of their hearts.
Here are four TV characters with major husband material energy.
- Gomez Addams (The Addams Family)The Addams Family | IMDbYou can’t discuss husband material energy without talking about Gomez Addams (John Astin). The patriarch of the Addams family, Gomez is an excellent husband to his wife Morticia (Carolyn Jones).
Despite their…unconventional life, the couple have one of the healthiest relationships ever seen on television. Gomez sincerely adores Morticia and their marriage is based on mutual respect, solid communication, and amazing chemistry.
- Terry Jeffords (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)Brooklyn Nine-Nine | IMDbTerry Jeffords (Terry Crews) is the definition of the model husband. A devoted family man, Terry is incredibly loving to his wife Sharon (Merrin Dungey). In fact, throughout the series, Terry often gives relationship advice to detective Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) because he is such an amazing partner to Sharon.
Terry is always looking out for what is best for Sharon and their family. While his demanding job does occasionally get in the way of Terry’s home life, he will always put Sharon and their daughters first whenever he has the choice. He just adores Sharon and is never afraid to show it.
- Marshall Eriksen (How I Met Your Mother)How I Met Your Mother | IMDbYou already knew that Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel) from How I Met Your Mother absolutely had to be on this list.
Throughout the series, Marshal and Lily (Alyson Hannigan) were the cutest couple. While they definitely had their ups and downs, Marshall and Lily made it work in the end. Marshall is deeply committed to Lily and loves her for being exactly who she is.
- Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)Modern Family | IMDb“Cool dad” Phil Dunphy (Ty Burrell) is another TV character who gives major husband material energy. Despite the fact he doesn’t always get it right and can definitely be a little goofy and immature, Phil really does his very best to try to make his wife Claire (Julie Bowen) happy.
Phil and Claire have a solid marriage based on love but also being best friends. Phil and Claire have a romantic and fun partnership and it’s something to be admired.
Ending any TV series on a high note involves all kinds of unique challenges, especially when the series commands legions of fans or has aired on television for a significant amount of time. Thankfully, some TV shows manage to safely navigate this precarious landing, concluding their series in a bittersweet, emotional, incredibly cathartic manner.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, it’s hard to ignore the countless TV shows that fumbled their long-awaited conclusions, ushering in finales that left fans exasperated, frustrated, or flat-out heartbroken. From fan-favorite sitcoms to riveting fantasy dramas, these TV series forever tarnished their reputation with their disastrous finales, ending with a simmer instead of a thunderous bang.
Game of ThronesHBOBy the time Game of Thrones entered its seventh and final season, the series had risen to the very forefront of contemporary pop culture, climbing to the same heights as Star Wars, Harry Potter, or The Lord of the Rings. When it came to its final few episodes, though, creators David Benioff and D. B. Weiss struggled to piece together the branching storylines they’d built throughout the previous few seasons, culminating in a panned finale that bloated, rushed, and inconsistent with everything that came before it.
How I Met Your MotherCBSTo be fair, How I Met Your Mother’s final episode certainly caught everyone by surprise, bringing certain long-running narrative arcs to a close in a shocking and unexpected manner. Unfortunately, the exact way that “Last Forever” tied up these storylines garnered a polarized response from dedicated viewers, with almost everyone heaving a collective sigh as they watched Ted once again reunite with Robin (a resolution that undermined their individual character growth throughout the series).
SeinfeldNBCWhen most people think of disappointing series finales, there’s a decent chance that Seinfeld’s final episode immediately jumps to mind. Memorably bringing back some of the series’ most popular characters, there’s no refuting “The Finale”’s ensemble lineup of guest stars, from Elaine’s on-again, off-again boyfriend David Puddy to Jerry’s vindictive archnemesis, Newman. However, “The Finale”’s harebrained conclusion left fans more than a little let down, wrapping up an otherwise perfect sitcom with a middling series finale.
DexterShowtimeFew shows have experienced such a serious drop in quality quite like Showtime’s Dexter. Earning rave reviews in its initial inception, Dexter’s favorable place among fans and critics started to waver by the start of the 2010s. Following the show’s critically hailed fourth season, Dexter became a shadow of its former self by season five, thanks in large part to inconsistent writing, poor characterization, and repetitive storylines. Far from measuring up to the heights of its earlier seasons, Dexter’s final episode, “Remember the Monsters,” fell into the same gaping hole as the show’s latter seasons.
Killing EveBBC AmericaIt’s always tragic whenever a show of superior quality devolves into a gradually worsening series as time goes on. Such is the case with Killing Eve, the brilliant espionage series that breathed fresh life into the traditional spy genre. Though the first two seasons are nothing short of phenomenal, the departure of head writers Phoebe Waller-Bridge (after season one) and Emerald Fennell (after season two) ultimately sealed Killing Eve’s fate. Limping along for two more disastrous seasons, Killing Eve came crashing to a halt with the release of “Hello, Losers”–a final slap in the face to all those who stood by the series’ side from the very beginning.
LostABCThere’s a reason nobody really talks about Lost anymore compared to some of its contemporaries. Despite its universal popularity in the mid to late 2000s, Lost’s very last episode left audiences deflated and more than a little confused. Leaving far more questions unaddressed than it did actually answering them, most viewers could only raise an eyebrow at “The End”’s mystifying content, permanently muddying the legacy of this once great sci-fi fantasy series.
Pretty Little LiarsFreeformLike many series before and after it, the appeal Pretty Little Liars once held for millions of fans worldwide started to wear thin as time went on. Rather than ending on a high note with its third or fourth seasons, the series continued on far past its logical conclusion, contributing to a series finale that had viewers clenching their fists in white-hot anger and annoyance. (The true identity of “A.D.” alone will leave you speechless, and not in a good way.)
Sometimes love defies time and space — at least it does in science fiction romantic drama films. Here are eight exhilaratingly mystical movies that are a must watch if you enjoy watching love unfold across dystopian realities, parallel universes, alternate timelines, past lives —and even other planets.
Equals (2015)A24 Starring Nicholas Hoult and Kristen Stewart, Equals is set in a dystopian future where citizens are rendered emotionless and robotic workers under the “Collective” that subjects them to an existence where they cannot love, yearn, fear, and feel. When Silas develops “Switched On Syndrome” or SOS which causes him to access the ability to feel shortly after witnessing fellow worker Nia have an emotional reaction, both develop an irresistible attraction and connection to each other and a love that threatens and defies the rules and regulations of the otherwise sterilized existence in their society.
Passengers (2016)Sony PicturesJennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt star in the 2016 movie Passengers, following a group of passengers who seek to flee earth and find a new home on another planet called Homestead II. In their interstellar spacecraft, they are kept in pods to hibernate until they reach the planet, keeping their original youth and age at the time of travel intact. However, when mechanical engineer Jim Preston wakes up ninety years too early and nearly descends into madness out of the isolation he faces as a result, he makes the dangerous decision to wake another fellow passenger, Aurora up. This is a decision that leads to disastrous consequences when the two fall in love and are challenged to navigate Jim’s betrayal and question their existence in the midst of the vast expanse of the universe.
Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets (2017)Buena VistaValerian and Laureline are part of a police federation for the United Human Federation. Their job is to ensure that peace is maintained in the galaxy as Earth expands its relations with other extraterrestrial species in the creation of Alpha, a city that spans thousands of planets and contains millions of species. Throughout their adventures in keeping the peace, their friendship and partnership evolves into romance as Laureline playfully resists Valerian’s attempts to woo her and labels him a player. The film combines spectacular visuals with a moving plot about the extinction of the planet Mül and its citizens. Randomly, it also features a lengthy and special shape-shifting dance cameo by Rihanna that is sure to be unforgettable for viewers. If you like the idea of romance among different types of aliens, otherworldly beings from diverse planets, and talented dance numbers by your favorite celebrities, this one’s for you.
The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009)New Line CinemaLibrarian Henry has a genetic disorder that causes him to time travel without warning. He meets his future wife Clare (Rachel McAdams) throughout his travels at different ages and manages to give her the times and places of where to find him when she records his visits to her. Now we all know ghosting is terrible enough but imagine your husband was constantly disappearing without warning. Challenged by the constraints of sporadic whims of time and space, the couple struggle to keep their relationship solid as they try to start a family and navigate an unconventional love story that takes a tragic toll on their romance.
Everything, Everywhere, All At Once (2022)A24In one reality, you need to pay your taxes and explain to the IRS why karaoke machines count as a vital part of your business expenses. In another, you’re a famous chef, actress, or martial arts master who never married the love of their life but lived out their most successful and highest timeline. Which reality would you choose? Evelyn Wang is tempted by the possibilities of the infinite multiverse as she goes head-to-head with the “dark” alternate version of her daughter, Alpha Joy, who threatens the very existence of it. She also juggles her strained relationship with her husband Waymond who she comes to appreciate as she meets different parallel versions of him, realizing that in every reality, he operates with the kindness and empathy that may very well save the world. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once is a beautiful film about the power of love and its ability to transcend the barriers of time and space.
Interstellar (2014)Paramount PicturesJoseph Cooper is a former NASA pilot who is forced to abandon his children Cooper and Murph to travel through space and save humanity from extinction in the search for habitable planets on the Endurance spacecraft. Aside from Amelia’s love for physicist Wolf Edmunds which causes her to travel across the galaxy in hopes of seeing him and the planet he may occupy which could be habitable, there is is a brief romance in the film between Murph and Getty, a NASA medical doctor, as well as some possible romantic tension between Amelia and Cooper. Yet the true “love story” throughout the film remains the strong familial bond between Murph and her father Cooper. Cooper is essentially able to travel through different points throughout their history in a four-dimensional tesseract to communicate to Murph the messages needed to save the world, defying time and space to do so. As Amelia eloquently puts it, “Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.”
Timer (2009)Present PicturesImagine a world where you get a wrist implant that can tell you the exact time you will meet your soulmate. In the science fiction romantic comedy Timer, this is a reality. Oona is an orthodontist in Los Angeles whose implant has a blank timer, indicating that her soulmate does not yet have a timer. Unbeknownst to her, her stepsister Steph tried to introduce her to a man who is actually her true soulmate, Dan, but they have a missed connection when Oona decided not to show up because she is being romanced by another man, and Steph actually begins a flirtation with Dan instead. In a series of serendipitous and chaotic circumstances, Oona struggles to release her expectations of meeting “the one,” only to find her soulmate at the last minute. Talk about good timing.
Sliding Doors (1998)MiramaxThis 1998 film starring Gwyneth Paltrow splits into two different timelines. In one timeline, Helen Quilley misses her train in the London Underground after she drops an earring in the elevator and a man picks it up. In another, she boards the train and sits beside the fellow traveler, James, who picked up her earring, and they make a connection. She later arrives home to catch her boyfriend cheating with his ex-girlfriend. In the latter timeline, she leaves her boyfriend and falls in love with James. However, in both timelines, horrific circumstances ensue that threaten her life, and only one of them lead to a somewhat happy ending. Sliding Doors is an epic alternate timeline movie about love and missed connections, how infinite possibilities and life-course trajectories can branch off one another, and how even the most tumultuous detours can lead to happy endings. It illustrates the domino effect of how even the slightest changes in our choices can lead to a complete “timeline shift” in our destinies.
Ever wonder why that toxic and narcissistic ex-partner kept reaching out to you, long after the relationship had ended? Or why they seemed to make attempts to provoke you after the break-up? Research indicates that there are darker reasons why a toxic or narcissistic ex may reach out, and it’s usually not because they genuinely miss you. Here are some reasons a toxic ex may return when you no longer want anything to do with them, according to a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy.
Continued Access to Your “Benefits”If an ex reaches out to continue a friendship with you even after they violated you in the relationship by cheating or mistreating you in any way, be wary. Researchers Mogilski and Welling (2017) found that individuals who who had darker personality traits (such as narcissism, psychopathy, and duplicity) tended to stay friends with their exes out of convenience, sex and access to resources. In laymen’s terms? They want to keep using you for their benefit, without any of the commitment, obligation, or consequences, leeching off of you for money, social connections, access to your emotional labor and attentiveness, as well as physical intimacy. Remember, the biochemical bonds we develop with toxic partners can be inexplicably addictive. Sex with a toxic partner only strengthens that bond by releasing oxytocin and dopamine, creating associations between the reward circuits in our brains with our ex-partner, and creating a dopamine high like no other, especially in an “on and off” hot and cold unpredictable relationship. A malignant narcissist knows this on an intuitive level and will use sex to prevent you from “detoxing” properly from the relationship.
Regaining Control Over Your Self-Esteem and Ability to Move ForwardIf you left the relationship first, a narcissistic person wants to regain control, and by “returning to the scene of the crime” and potentially ensnaring you back into the same toxic cycle can be one of the ways they do so. Basically, they don’t miss you as a person – they miss the control they had over you. Consider that studies show that narcissistic people tend to stalk and even harass their ex-partners when their victims finally leave them. This is a control tactic to ensure you do not move forward with your life – whether that means moving forward with a new partner or just a happier and healthier future in general. By dangling the carrot of a possible reunion or igniting the hope that they will change for the better (something they refused to do during the actual relationship), they want to lure you back in and punish you for leaving in the first place. If you take the bait, narcissists will often mistreat and devalue you even worse than before, just so they can be the ones to devalue and discard you, have an upper hand in your dynamic, and establish a false sense of superiority.
Creating Love Triangles With Their New TargetYour toxic ex may have seemingly moved onto a new partner, someone who tolerates their toxicity, but that doesn’t mean they want to lose access to you as a source of praise and an ego boost. They want to keep you around as a fallback person for whenever they experience disruptions in their new relationship, and they want to provoke your jealousy and their current partner’s on purpose to maintain power and control, as studies suggest narcissistic and psychopathic partners are prone to doing. If you decide to remain friends with a narcissistic ex, it’s likely they will still use you for emotional labor, attention, and even sex when they need a “break” from their committed relationship. Do not fall for this or believe you are being chased because you’re the one they truly love and the “one that got away” if they claim this. Remember, psychopaths and narcissists tend to be prone to boredom and require constant stimulation and novelty from multiple sources. You are simply another toy to play with. No one wins in this scenario except your toxic ex.
Gossip Girl was one of the most popular teen dramas during the late 2000s. Based on the novels of the same name by Cecily von Ziegesar, the series followed Serena van der Woodsen, Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald, Chuck Bass, Dan Humphrey, and Jenny Humphrey whose personal lives are constantly scrutinized and commented on by the titular anonymous blogger. Relationships were a core story element of the show. While several of the romantic entanglements were problematic, the friendship between Serena and Blair was the most toxic.
The Toxic Foundation of Serena and Blair’s Friendship Although the series often sold Serena and Blair’s friendship as extremely close, the girls spent most of their time keeping secrets, harboring jealousy, and outright trying to sabotage each other. The toxicity in their bond was first seen in Season 1, Episode 1, titled “Pilot,” which revealed that Serna had slept with Blair’s boyfriend, Nate. She then abruptly left for boarding school before without saying goodbye to her best friend. The secrecy surrounding her departure from the Upper East Side was the main point of contention in their relationship long before Blair found out about Serena’s tryst with Nate.
However, Blair is not an innocent victim in the friendship. When she finds out about the affair and the reason for Serena leaving, she vows to take her down. Season 1 is filled with each girl (mostly Blair) plotting vicious attacks on each other to destroy their social standing at school and in the community. Their rift eventually resolves, and temporary peace follows. But things turn chaotic in Season 1, Episode 11, titled “Roman Holiday when Blair tells everyone that Serena went to the Ostroff Center for rehab, not knowing it was actually Serena’s brother being treated for depression.
The Intensifying Rivalry and Sabotage In Season 2, Episode 6, called “New Haven Can Wait,” Serena and Blair each tried to sabotage the other’s Yale acceptance. The toxicity took center stage during an event for prospective students hosted by the University’s Dean when Serena intentionally steals Blair’s answer to a question he posed. When the group was asked who they would most like to have dinner with, Serena named the Dean’s favorite writer, George Sand, knowing full well that it was going to be Blair’s response. The move hurt her best friend, who was compelled to retaliate by blurting out that Serena had killed someone.
While Serena was technically responsible for the death of a man named Pete, it wasn’t exactly murder. His death was an unfortunate accident at the hands of manipulative young socialite Georgina Sparks, who wanted to videotape Serena in a compromising position with Pete. But things went sideways, and Pete ended up taking too many drugs and overdosing. Although Serena was the innocent party in the incident, it had a massive effect on her. While Blair sympathized with her friend when she found out about it, she weaponized the information when it suited her.
The Ultimate Betrayal and Supposed Truce Their rivalry continued throughout the series, with stolen photo shoots, banishment, job sabotage, orchestrated public embarrassment, and deeply personal insults being some of the highlights. But
whether it was intentional or not, Serena always managed to get the upper hand or outshine Blair, with that latter constantly left to play catch-up. That’s probably why she eventually decided to date Dan in Season 5, Episode 17, “The Princess Dowry, even though she made her dislike for him known whenever the opportunity presented itself in prior seasons.
While her friendship and subsequent romance with Dan felt organic at the time, he was never Blair’s type. She knew it would hurt Serena and throw their friendship into chaos. But she did it anyway, and Serena retaliated by sleeping with Dan. One can’t help but wonder if Dan, who was hiding in plain sight as Gossip Girl, used his platform to manipulate the girls so that he could be with Serena in the end. If that was the entire point of creating the anonymous persona, it worked. Dan and Serena were married during the series finale, and the girl’s “friendship” seemed to be on solid ground in that moment.
Did you hear? Murder’s cool again. Wait, no. Not like that. Please don’t go do murders. I mean, like, murder on TV. Fictional murder. The only kind that is legal to enjoy. Anyway, we have Only Murders in the Building to thank for that! The show has returned with a star-studded Season 4 that transports the show’s crime-solving podcasters to the heart of a new murder: That of [REDACTED!] (Today will be a spoiler-free list.) That said, I’ve never been a murdery kind of guy. I was never able to get lost in true crime stories, preferring the fictional terrors of horror movies to the concrete terrors of real-life. But there’s an art to spinning entertainment from murder that’s hard to pull off, and I appreciate seeing it done well in fiction. To that end, here are seven shows about murder that I have ranked by murderaciousness. [Murderaciousness (n) The state of being simultaneously awesome and murdery. First recorded in 2024; Modern Lambertian English, from Latin “murdery.”]
MurdervilleNetflixPlot: Will Arnett, deep in character as William Arnett but with a deeper voice, must solve a murder with a new guest star every episode. The twist is that the guest star doesn’t get a script! Improvising guests include Annie Murphy, Kumail Nanjiani, and Conan O’Brien.
Murderaciousness: Low. Though ostensibly about murder, this hilarious show is actually just about watching the guest stars squirm. And seeing Ken Jeong completely fail to keep a straight face. 1/10.
Stream it on: Netflix.
A Good Girl’s Guide to MurderNetflixPlot: In solving a murder, a good girl turns into a better girl.
Murderaciousness: Low! The titular murder of this show is in the past. Though there’s definitely a threat of murder throughout, the real hook of this show is in how Pip can solve a whole-ass murder despite being in high school. 2/10.
Stream it on: Netflix.
Dead to MeNetflixPlot: Two women form an unlikely bond over their unexpectedly mutual tragedies. The show starts as a dark comedy, morphs into a buddy comedy, and ends as a tragi-comedy.
Murderaciousness: Mid. This show is more about the ladies’ shared secrets and differing approaches to life. Also, James Marsden’s mythical jawline. 3/10.
Stream it on: Netflix.
Only Murders in the BuildingHuluPlot: Selena Gomez mumbles her way through a series of murder mysteries with the help of Steve Martin Short. (I get bored typing their full names.)
Murderaciousness: The number of murders every season is surprisingly low! People watch this show more for the character interactions and mystery elements than for the murders. 5/10.
Stream it on: Hulu.
Based on a True StoryPeacockPlot: Two podcasters who want a larger audience than “immediate friends and family” take a big swing and team up with a serial killer. Instead of turning him into the police, they hire him to join their podcast and discuss all of the very real murders he’s committed.
Murderaciousness: Naturally, things go south. These two did, after all, befriend a serial killer. However, this leads to more hijinks than actual murder, as the attractive podcasters are able to convince their new murdery friend to be temporarily less murdery. 6/10.
Stream it on: Peacock.
How to Get Away with MurderABCPlot: Viola Davis commands a team of legal experts to cover up several murders using the power of her Resting Shade Face alone. Also, this is a Shondaland show, so there’s a lot of sex. Actually, this show incited scandal during its runtime for its depictions of queer sex!
Murderaciousness: High! This series lives up to its name. In addition to the main murders that are gotten away with, there are several unexpected bonus murders that require additional getting away with. 8/10.
Stream it on: Netflix.
Law & Order: SVUNBCPlot: Mariska Hartigay corners the market on all of New York’s most special and victim-y crimes. For a while, she did it with Chris Meloni, but after he departed for gayer TV shows, she learned to bloom on her own.
Murderaciousness: This show has been delivering the murderaciousness for almost three decades! Murder is part of its DNA. That and real DNA. 10/10.
Stream it on: Hulu, Peacock.
Fleabag did a lot for society. For starters, Phoebe Waller-Bridge convinced us all to buy a Jumpsuit™️and there was a devastatingly hot priest. More than that, Fleabag taught us to make room for our messy, ugly, and imperfect humanity. That perhaps all of those things we thought made us broken were actually the good parts all along.
Here are 10 poignant Fleabag quotes that taught us about love, loss, and letting go.
It’ll pass. The Priest
People make mistakes. Boo
The only person I’d run through an airport for is you. Claire
People are all we’ve got. So grab the night by its nipples and go flirt with someone. Belinda
Love is awful. It’s painful. Frightening. It makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life. Makes you selfish, makes you creepy, makes you obsessed with your hair. It takes strength to know what’s right. And love isn’t something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope. The Priest
I think you know how to love better than any of us. It’s why you find it so painful. Dad
Why believe in something awful when you can believe in something wonderful? The Priest
With all the love I have for her. I don’t know where to put it now. Fleabag
Don’t make me hate you. Loving you’s painful enough. Harry
[Love is] all any of us want and it’s Hell when we get there! So, no wonder it’s something we don’t want to do on our own. The Priest
- When they ask you out, they actually ask you out. They don’t just ask you to “hang out” sometime. Instead, they give you definitives. Date, time, and place. They ask for your preferences for what you’d like to do and then plan it all out. This shows they can take initiative.
- They speak highly of the people in their life. This includes family, friends, coworkers. This matters because it’s the same way they would be talking about you.
- They have ambition. They do the what’s required for their version of success. This isn’t to say they’re a workaholic or are totally defined by their career or material aspirations. It just means they understand the value of working hard.
- They have hobbies: They have interests outside of work, too. Maybe they really love working out or reading or creating art. Whatever it may be, they pursue it with passion. They may not even be “good” at their hobby. The point is that they do things for the enjoyment of them, not the ego.
- They’re polite. To you. To bartenders. To servers. To baristas.
- They talk about past relationships with kindness. This means they don’t call their exes crazy or talk in an overly negative way about former relationships. We’ve all had bad experiences, sure, but if they’re still slamming a past partner, they may not be fully healed yet.
- They treat you like the new acquaintance you are. They don’t act too familiar immediately. Instead, they take things more slowly so they can truly get to know who you are and see if you both are compatible enough to take things to the next level.
- They don’t just wait for their turn to speak. Instead, they listen to understand and give what you say sincere consideration. In short, they’re an active listener.
- They’re curious about you. They don’t just spew about everything they love. They want to know what you love, too. They ask about your favorite music and why that band resonates with you or what you do for your job and if you like it.
- They give you space. They don’t try and force connection. They get the importance of spending time apart. They don’t blow up your phone or text you constantly. They have their own life and understand you have your own life, too.
- They feel emotionally safe. Your internal alarm bells don’t go off when you’re with them. Intuition matters. Listen to it.
- When you’re out, they put their phone away. When they’re with you, they’re with you. Enough said.
- They don’t hate on your interests. For example, if you share you totally vibe with country music or romantic comedies, they don’t go on a tangent about how awful they find those things. They might say country music isn’t their favorite genre or that they’re more into action films, but they don’t make you feel bad for what you love (or have a superior attitude about the things they love).
- When you meet up, they clearly made an effort with their appearance. It shows they value what you think about them.
- They respect your boundaries. For example, if you met on a dating app and it’s the first time meeting in person, they don’t try and coerce you into meeting at their place when you ask to meet in public. (Side note: Always meet in public first!)
- They don’t rush you into a relationship or exclusivity. And finally, they don’t make you make a decision about them right away or want to lock it down immediately. This shows they are careful and intentional and that they’re looking for the real thing.
Let’s talk about some habits and mindsets that are sabotaging you from getting the love you want.
The path to finding love is filled with misconceptions thanks to movies and mainstream media. All we get are false images of what love should look like and no one talks about what it takes to have a lasting relationship and the stumbling blocks that might get in your way.
No one talks about the important stuff, no one shines a mirror on us and tells us how we need to be, what we need to confront, and what it actually takes to be in a healthy, happy relationship.
So let’s look at six things you need to stop doing if you want that healthy relationship.
- Stop being so needy .Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship or male validation.
Neediness usually stems from a lack of self-esteem or a sense of worth. You feel like something is missing within yourself or in your life and erroneously believe a relationship will be the cure. If you were unhappy before the relationship, you’ll be unhappy in it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about being single, work on your relationship with yourself. Work on feeling OK and happy with where you are right now.
- Stop looking for love and learn to love yourself.You have to love yourself first or you will never be able to accept that anyone else can love you
There’s that famous quote from Groucho Marks: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
It’s funny and we all get the sentiment, but the sad thing is we do this in our love lives all the time! We think there must be something wrong with the guys who really want us and we pine for the ones who don’t care or seem uninterested.
If you don’t truly like and love yourself, you will never be able to accept that someone else can love you.
The number one way to attract love is to make yourself into a vessel that can receive it.
If you don’t value yourself, you will go for someone who doesn’t treat you well, and you will be OK with it because he’s just validating how you feel about yourself. And the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right.
In general, like attracts like.
If you are emotionally unavailable, you will attract a guy who is emotionally unavailable. Now, you can want to be in a relationship and at the same time be unavailable in your own way. If you’re afraid of getting hurt or feel like the guys you want always leave you, then you might subconsciously be putting up walls to protect yourself.
Ask yourself: would I want to date me?
What are you bringing to the table? If you want an emotionally healthy, confident, stable guy, then you need to make sure you mirror those qualities at the same level. I mean, why would a guy like that want to be with someone who is an insecure emotional mess? If you want that kind of guy, you need to be that kind of girl.
- Stop playing a role.So many of us fall into this trap of trying to fit a mold or play a role in order to get the guy. Maybe it’s due to societal conditioning or maybe because deep down we don’t feel good enough. But you can’t form a genuine connection with someone if you’re pretending to be something you’re not or trying to fit a guy’s ideal vision of the kind of woman he wants.
I have a friend who is just so got it together on the outside- she is polished and poised and just seems so fine all the time. She went through a period where she would date one guy after the next and with each one the relationship just fizzled out. Why? Because there was no genuine connection. She portrayed herself as being so fine and having it all so together it was impenetrable and you just can’t connect this way.
Love is about being seen and known and vulnerable. This doesn’t need to happen right away and should be a gradual process. But you can’t really get to a deeper place unless you peel back some of those layers.
- Stop playing the victim.You are not single because there is some grand conspiracy to keep you this way. You are not the only one who dated a great guy who turned out to be a jerk, who feels that all the good guys are taken, who feels like they just aren’t good at dating apps and online dating and hence doomed to fail. It isn’t just you!
But it’s easier to place the blame elsewhere… anywhere that doesn’t fall on you.
There are going to be things in our lives that are out of our control and some of them can have a really strong impact on us but we have the choice of how we hold onto or let go of those things.
Take control of the narrative and re-frame the way you look at your circumstances. You get to choose who to be in the story of your life: are you the tragic victim or the triumphant heroine?
- Stop idealizing your ex.Most of us are unaware of all the ways our past can bleed into our present and future if left unchecked.
The reason it’s so hard to get over an ex is oftentimes due to the stories we tell ourselves about what happened and why. So if he left you for someone else, you may tell yourself it’s because you’re unworthy… that you weren’t good enough. If you fought constantly you might blame yourself and think it was all your fault and that you mess everything up. This faulty belief get wired in and then it becomes part of your story. You start to expect negative outcomes… and then you experience them.
If you’ve been hurt in the past, try to see if you can identify any old wounds you’re still carrying around with you. Think about how you interpreted the situation at the time and see if you can spot any faulty beliefs about yourself that may have developed. Then do whatever you need to in order to correct those. It isn’t always easy but it’s necessary for your healing.
- Stop stressing.I talk a lot about how stressing basically ruins everything, because it does and because this is something so many of us do.
You have to get your mind under control, you can’t let worried thoughts dominate you because they will ruin your life and block you from forming a genuine connection and finding happiness.
And when has stressing over something ever gotten you the thing?
It just uses up all your mental energy and depletes you and again, gets you nowhere!
Have faith that things will work out for you, maybe there aren’t working out in the exact way you want in the exact moment you want… but it will happen. It will be OK.
Pain can be familiar and so being hard on yourself is comforting in a way because that’s all you’ve known, it feels like returning home. But you have to fight against the tide so you can preprogram the way you see yourself and your life.
Some days, you’re going to run through your workload like a beast, crossing off every single item on your to-do list before the sun sets. Other days, you aren’t going to have enough energy to accomplish the first item on your list. And that’s okay. Not every day needs to be your most productive day. You’re allowed to give yourself a break, to allow your mind and body to rest when they’re on the edge of exhaustion. Even though it’s tempting to ignore the warning signs your body is giving you, you shouldn’t push yourself too hard on your worst days. Give yourself permission to take things slow, to take it easy, to take a break from the stress that has been slowly breaking you down. You don’t want to burn yourself out. You don’t want to do irredeemable damage. Sometimes, existing is enough. Getting through the day in one piece is enough. Making it to tomorrow is enough. You’re not lazy or a failure for taking a break when your mind is screaming at you to slow down. If you were physically exhausted, you wouldn’t push yourself to run another mile, so why would you treat yourself any differently when your mental health is on the line? You need to start showing the same care for yourself as you constantly show for everyone else. Of course, it’s tough to put yourself first when there are a million things you need to accomplish each day. Sometimes, you need to push through your discomfort in order to fulfill your responsibilities. Sometimes, you need to ignore your nerves and break out of your comfort zone to move ahead in the world. Other times, that is the worst possible route you can take. You know yourself better than anyone. You know what you can handle. You know when you’re tipping close to the edge, when you need a breather, when something small will be way too stressful for you. You shouldn’t punish yourself on the days you need to take it slow. You need to treat yourself gently, especially when you’re feeling your lowest. Sometimes, you need to give yourself the space to rest. Sometimes, you need to turn off your phone, turn off your thoughts, and give yourself some peace and quiet. Your hectic life can pick back up tomorrow, but for today, all you have to do is exist. All you have to do is breathe. Remember, you’re human. You have value, even when you’re not producing something new, even when you don’t have something exciting to post on Instagram, even when you feel like you should be doing more, more, more. Sometimes, you need to put your mental health before your career or your relationships or your social status. Sometimes, you need to stop and take care of your own needs before you worry about everyone else around you. Sometimes, you need to remind yourself existing is enough. Making it from this moment to the next is enough. You are enough.
Dive into the magical world of Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice with eight memorable quotes that reveal some of the hidden rules of the afterlife. From the strange passage of time to the power of a name, these lines give us a deeper look at what makes the movie so iconic.
Beetlejuice has been a cult favorite since its release in 1988, thanks to director Tim Burton’s humorously dark take on the afterlife. Michael Keaton’s titular ghost with the most, and Winona Ryder’s gothically charming Lydia delivered unforgettable lines, making the film a pop culture fixture. In honor of the sequel, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, let’s revisit the original and dive into eight memorable quotes that reveal the hidden rules of Burton’s eerie afterlife.
- “Never trust the living!”Rule: The dead and the living operate on different wavelengths.
Breakdown: When Juno, the afterlife caseworker, tells Adam and Barbara to “never trust the living,” she’s laying down a crucial rule of the afterlife. In Burton’s world, the living are often self-serving or downright untrustworthy. This quote suggests that the dead must fend for themselves, relying on their wits and other spirits rather than expecting help or understanding from the living.
- “Handbook for the Recently Deceased. Ah. I’ve been reading through that. It says: ‘live people ignore the strange and unusual.’ I, myself, am strange and unusual.”Rule: The living are oblivious to the supernatural.
Breakdown: Lydia’s self-aware remark about being “strange and unusual” offers a sharp insight into the living’s tendency to overlook the supernatural. The Handbook for the Recently Deceased spells it out — living people are conditioned to ignore anything outside their ordinary experience. This means haunting efforts may go unnoticed, forcing spirits to find creative ways to get attention.
- “Go ahead, make my millennium.”Rule: Time in the afterlife is vastly different.
Breakdown: Beetlejuice’s cheeky twist on Clint Eastwood’s famous line, “Go ahead, make my day,” hints at the unusual flow of time in the afterlife. For ghosts, time stretches endlessly, with centuries passing like moments. The quote reminds us of the patience (or boredom) that spirits must endure, as they aren’t bound by the ticking clock of the living world.
- “I’ve seen The Exorcist about 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it!”Rule: The dead have a different perspective on horror.
Breakdown: Beetlejuice’s gleeful enjoyment of The Exorcist — a film that terrifies the living — reveals a stark difference in how the ghosts perceive horror. What might send shivers down a living person’s spine is funny for spirits like Beetlejuice. This quote suggests that the spirits are desensitized to fear, finding humor in what the living find horrifying.
- “This is my art, and it is dangerous! Do you think I want to die like this?”Rule: The dead retain their passions, but they come with risks.
Breakdown: Though spoken by Delia Deetz, this line resonates with the idea that even in death, a person’s passions persist — sometimes with dangerous consequences. The dead, much like the living, remain driven by their obsessions, whether it’s art, vengeance, or something else entirely. However, in the afterlife, these passions can lead to unintended outcomes.
- “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”Rule: Names hold power in the afterlife.
Breakdown: The rule of three, used to summon Beetlejuice, highlights the magical and almost ritualistic importance of names in the afterlife. Saying his name three times gives Beetlejuice the power to manifest, emphasizing how names carry significant weight in the supernatural realm. The quote also highlights how ghosts can manipulate ancient rules to their advantage or detriment.
- “Attention K Mart shoppers…”Rule: The afterlife mirrors the absurdity of the living world.
Breakdown: Beetlejuice’s sarcastic announcement as he transforms into a snake reveals how the afterlife can reflect the absurdities of the living world. The mundane rituals of consumerism, like announcements at a K-Mart, are twisted into something darkly comedic in the afterlife. This quote suggests that ghosts continue to engage with the quirks of life, albeit more chaotically.
- “If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have had my little accident.”Rule: The dead learn through experience, but unfortunately, it’s too late.
Breakdown: The line, which was spoken by an afterlife bureaucrat, reflects a bittersweet truth: the dead may gain wisdom, but all too late to change anything. It’s a reminder that the lessons learned in death can’t undo the mistakes made in life. This quote captures the regret that some spirits feel as they navigate their new reality.
Nick Miller (Jake Johnson) is one of the main characters in the hit Fox comedy series New Girl. Sarcastic, angry, apathetic, and socially inept, Nick is easily one of the funniest characters on the show. Nick is particularly beloved for his witty, pitiful, and hysterical lines.
Here are the top Nick Miller New Girl quotes that define him as a person.
“I like getting older. I feel like I’m finally aging into my personality.”New Girl | IMDb“Nick Miller: Turning lemonade into lemons since 1981.”New Girl | IMDb“I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.”New Girl | IMDb“I know this isn’t gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.”“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”New Girl | IMDb“I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’”New Girl | IMDb“It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.”New Girl | IMDb“You gave me a cookie, I gave you a cookie.”
Americans are known for their work ethic. In fact, many people from other countries say that we work too hard. Of course, that’s not our fault; that’s the invisible hand of capitalism slapping us in the face every time we seek work-life balance. Or, as the great poetesse Dolly Parton once put it, “It’s a rich man’s game no matter what they call it / And you spend your life puttin’ money in his wallet.” Facts are facts, America! That said, some workplaces are more toxic than others, and to that end, I’ve ranked seven workplace shows by how likely their work culture would ruin my life. Now, get back to work! Wait, no! I meant later. Read this first.
Emily in ParisNetflixWorkplace: Subject to change, but always somewhere vaguely French and related to marketing.
Nature of work: Sporadic tweeting; declining important calls; attending long business lunches where it is forbidden to discuss business.
Employee benefits: A lifetime supply of unhinged couture outfits.
Likelihood that I would quit: 1/10. Emily has hit the jackpot of jobs! She never has to work, but can still afford to day-drink Dom Pérignon.
The OfficeNBC Universal TelevisionWorkplace: Just imagine the most boring office space you can think of. It’s that.
Nature of work: Smile; make occasional sales; stare into space.
Employee benefits: A general atmosphere of tomfoolery; also, several un-self aware employees who provide endless entertainment.
Likelihood that I would quit: 2/10. As long as I could keep pulling pranks on Dwight, I’d stay forever.
30 RockNBCWorkplace: A claustrophobic writer’s room that probably smells like Cheetos.
Nature of work: Brainstorming new ways to humiliate a narcissistic blonde woman; occasionally visiting the set of a sketch comedy show; hurling insults at an arrogant, possibly sadistic CEO.
Employee benefits: Weekly cheese plates; an endless supply of pencils.
Likelihood that I would quit: 4/10. If it weren’t for the endless writing opportunities, this would be toxic to a T.
Parks and RecreationNBCWorkplace: A warmly decorated if ordinary governmental office in the City Hall of Pawnee, Indiana.
Nature of work: Coordinate inter-department communication; avoid Councilman Howser; endure the regular screams of unhappy citizens.
Employee benefits: 401k; free rein to pick on Jerry.
Likelihood that I would quit: 5/10. If it weren’t for the solid salary and benefits, I would probably pull a Mark and leave after two seasons. Sorry, Leslie! You’re amazing, but you make everyone do, like, work.
Abbott ElementaryABCWorkplace: A Philadelphia public school prone to health violations and mass chaos.
Nature of work: Just get through the day.
Employee benefits: A chance to make a difference? I feel like they’re always complaining on this show, though, so idk.
Likelihood that I would quit: 7/10. This job would be so stressful. In addition to encountering pushback from all sides, you’d have to answer to a principal who cares more about TikTok than doing her job. Actually, give me her job. Then no one would expect me to do any work.
Grey’s AnatomyABCWorkplace: One of the most disaster-prone hospitals in the entire United States.
Nature of work: Fall in love with your patients; fall in love with yourself; fall in love with each other. Also medicine sometimes.
Employee benefits: A vibrant learning environment in which mistakes are seen as learning opportunities since no one ever sues this hospital.
Likelihood that I would quit: 8/10. The only thing keeping this from becoming a 10/10 is all of the sex that I would have.
The White LotusHBOWorkplace: A luxury hotel frequented by the most entitled people you’ll ever meet.
Nature of work: Fetch towels; arrange deep-tissue massages; lie through your teeth.
Employee benefits: Multiple daily opportunities to reflect on how your life came to this.
Likelihood that I would quit: 10/10. If the regular on-site murders didn’t make me quit, then it would be the multiple accounts of sexual harassment and elitist requests. I mean, I guess it would be cool to see a whale every now and then, but let’s be clear: No job is worth becoming a target of the Gay Italian Mafia.
I hope I learned to live well without the apologies I craved but never received. And that things weren’t as personal as they may have felt, even when those seemingly personal things stung.
I hope the broken men who broke me found peace and the strangers I met in passing were as interesting to the people they go home to as they were to me. I hope I came to understand that just because beautiful moments always came to an end doesn’t mean they didn’t matter (and maybe that’s what made them matter more).
I hope the younger generations keep opening their hearts and minds. I hope they continue to create a more loving world, even though I will no longer be here to see it. I’m crossing my fingers kids are allowed to stay young longer and never stop playing even when they grow older.
I hope my friends became all they wanted to be. The long-term pals and bygone ones, too. I hope each type of friend knew how much I loved and appreciated them.
I hope I found love and belonging, even when I thought I wouldn’t. Especially then. I hope life continued to surprise me and humble me and show me I knew a whole of a lot less than I thought I did.
I hope I continued to redefine what the word “family” meant and that sometimes family is not who we’re given but who we repeatedly choose. That said, even though my immediate family was dysfunctional and jagged and often painful, I would choose them in any other lifetime again and again and again if I had the chance. I hope I began to accept us for what we were, not what we weren’t.
I hope I didn’t get everything I wanted but I did get what I needed and found that was more than enough. I hope that while things may have ended up looking far different than I imagined, they were also so much better than I could have dreamt, too.
I hope I figured out that forgiveness is at the heart of healing and that hurt people hurt people but healed people can heal people, too. I hope I became the latter and I am crossing my fingers that it turns out karma isn’t as cruel as I initially believed. That people get the chance for redemption from their mistakes. But maybe redemption was never necessary in the first place.
I hope the way I led my life wasn’t necessarily something that others would remember but I decided to go on daringly, hopefully, painfully, and completely anyway, even though I would be forgotten in the end.
I guess I’ll just have to live and see.
In this day and age where “ghosting” has become an acceptable form of breaking up (maybe not acceptable, let’s go with widely practiced instead), with endless dating apps where a guy can find someone shiny and new with a few simple swipes, a time that’s defined as a “hookup culture” when fewer and fewer people are settling down…it’s no wonder so many people are fraught with relationship anxiety.
While yes, it’s tough, it’s not impossible. It’s not the apps or the culture or the ghosting that’s messing people up most of the time; it’s their own self-generated fears and anxieties. That’s the real problem no one really addresses. We do it to ourselves.
I’ve been writing about relationships for nearly a decade now and over and over I see women driving themselves half insane with the overthinking and the analyzing. And I fully relate to all of it because I used to be the same way!
So I’m going to talk you through it and reveal the signs you have relationship anxiety and how to get that anxiety under control.
First, let’s go over a few quick signs that you have relationship anxiety.
1. You don’t trust your partner’s feelings. You constantly question if he likes you or if he’s losing interest.
2. You overanalyze. You can’t take anything at face value, you pick it apart trying to understand what he was really trying to say.
3. You are waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s not a matter of if the relationship will end and he’ll leave you, it’s when. And you are constantly on guard for that dreaded moment to come. You can’t just relax and enjoy things, you feel nervous and there is a perpetual knot in the pit of your stomach
Now let’s talk about how all this is ruining your love life.You don’t need me to tell you that stress is bad for you. We’ve all heard the toll it takes on our physical appearance and emotional well-being. But that doesn’t stop most of us from doing it anyway.
Stress puts us into a primitive state. It activates our fears, and we can’t see beyond them. Stress completely overwhelms our minds, and we can’t access the more evolved, rational parts of our brains. It’s like a piece of paper with a black dot on it. When we’re stressed, that little dot takes over the entire page, and it’s all we see.
Being “stress-free” doesn’t mean you’re walking around like some hippy-dippy zen robot. It really is just having a feeling of being OK, of realizing there isn’t a problem you need to solve, and if there is a problem… you will be able to get through it.
This is where the majority of people go wrong in relationships. They are on the defensive waiting for something to go wrong, and they can’t relax and just be.
When you stress over your relationship, you aren’t able to be in the relationship. Instead of interacting with the person in front of you, you’re caught up in your own mind, interacting with the anxious thoughts in your head. And the guy will feel it. He’ll pick up on this negative energy and he will just feel turned off. He won’t know why he’s turned off, he thinks you’re great and he’s attracted to you … but there’s just something he can’t quite put his finger on …
Ok, now that we’ve looked at the ways stressing screws you up, let’s talk about how to get the stress under control.
- Recognize stressing solves nothing.Here’s the trap we fall into with stressing over things. It feels like you’re doing something productive.
It’s like running on the treadmill expecting to get to a new destination. You’re expending tons of energy… but you’re still in the exact same spot.
You feel like if you spin your wheels hard enough you’ll land on some sort of a solution. But instead, you poison your mood and your vibe, and your self-esteem.
It will not open the doors toward clarity and confidence and it will not lead to a healthy, happy relationship. Stressing multiples your problems, it doesn’t solve them. And it usually causes the very thing you’re worried about to come to fruition.
Whenever you catch yourself stressing, try to remind yourself that this is a huge waste of time and you’re essentially resigning yourself to the exact fate you’re terrified of.
- Set a panic deadline.A lot of us prematurely panic. We assume there’s a problem when there is none and live this whole one-sided drama, meanwhile, in boy world, he has no idea anything is amiss.
For example, you’re dating a guy and everything has been going well and then one day he doesn’t text you back and you literally lose your mind.
This happened to me very early in my relationship with my husband. We had gone on two dates and after the second he didn’t text me for a few days and I lost my mind. (Some context: we dated in high school and had a history and had been texting nonstop in the days leading up to and following the first date).
I was playing and replaying every interaction of the date wondering what I did wrong and beating myself up for pushing him away after only two dates. Here we go again with this exact same dreaded pattern…
But then I decided I wouldn’t do this to myself. Instead, I set a panic deadline. I think we went out on a Monday then I didn’t hear from him Tuesday or Wednesday so I said to myself, “OK, he hasn’t texted me, this is a little alarming but I will not panic about this and get upset until Friday. If I don’t hear from him by Friday, then I can be upset.”
I wasn’t saying I couldn’t be upset… I was just putting the upset feelings on hold and planned to revisit them at a later date.
Every time the sad feelings crept in, I just pushed them away and said, “Nope, I’m not being sad about this right now, I can feel sad about it on Friday.” And then he texted me later that day and everything was fine and normal, so I created that whole drama for nothing!
Anytime something like this would come up in our relationship, I would set a date to panic. And without fail, the problem would resolve before we reached the deadline.
Soon enough, I realized that there was nothing to ever freak out about and I learned to just be calm and deal with things and not let stress overtake me because like I said, no good ever comes of it.
And I should add, the things I wanted to “panic” over were never panic-worthy… it was really rooted in my own fears and insecurities, and tackling those made it so easy and effortless to just be present in the relationship and actually enjoy it instead of worrying about it.
- If it doesn’t work out, you’ll be OK.This is the most powerful mindset of all, and you can use it in relationships or any other area of your life.
If it doesn’t work out, you will be OK. You were OK before him, and you will be fine if things don’t work out. For some reason, this basic revelation feels groundbreaking when spoken out loud.
It’s hard to realize something so obvious when you’re in the thick of it because it doesn’t feel OK. It feels like you will combust if he leaves. You just can’t handle that being a reality.
And to that I say: stop attaching so much to what it will mean if things don’t work out.
Dating is a discovery process, that’s all. It’s not a means to find happiness or self-esteem or to heal your old wounds. Being in a relationship isn’t a goal to achieve. It is something that naturally happens when you’re dating someone and you both realize it just fits. It feels easy and effortless and being together is just much better than not being together. You mesh, you click, and you want the same things.
If one person doesn’t feel this way, then there isn’t much you can do. You can’t force someone to feel what you feel.
If it’s not a match… it’s not a match and that’s fine! You will find someone better suited for you. Have a little more faith in yourself!4. Imagine other possibilities.
The reason we stress ourselves out so much is that we invest so much in this other person, oftentimes before they’ve shown any real investment in us. There’s an underlying feeling of I need this relationship to work!
Maybe it’s because we just really like him, maybe it’s because we don’t often come across guys we genuinely like and we don’t know when the next one is going to come around, maybe it’s because it just seems so meant to be….
But you can’t attach until that is where you’re at in the relationship, meaning, you’re both on the same page. When I started dating my husband, I really made a solid attempt to not make the mistakes that just seemed to be my default, primarily, stressing and letting my anxieties run rampant.
In the early stages, before we were “official,” I kept my options open, even though he was the only option worth pursuing.
I was still talking to other guys, still active on the apps… and that didn’t stop until w became official (which happened relatively quickly, I think after three weeks or something!).
The point I’m making is don’t mentally or physically cut yourself off from other options. You’ll leave much less room for stressing if you have other things to keep you occupied. And if you don’t have any back-burner dudes, just mentally keep yourself open to the possibility that it won’t work out with him … and there’s something else in store for you. When you do this, you’ll take the pressure off the situation and let things unfold more naturally, without force of agenda.
- Realize you have control over your mind.This is a common mistake. We think we have no control. We think our mind runs the show and we let it steer us in any which way, down even the darkest most destructive paths. We let it tell us we’re worthless and useless and unlovable and nothing will ever work out the way we want.
Why do we allow this?!
You have control over which thoughts seep in. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, send those thoughts away and replace them with something different. Your mind heavily influences the way you see the world and interact with it.
Here is an exercise: notice your thoughts throughout the day and then ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well?
If it brings up feelings of fear/anxiety/insecurity/dread then no, it doesn’t serve you well! So shift that thought to a more productive place!
When you learn how to do this, not only will your relationships transform, but your whole life will.
The false hope is what keeps you coming back for more. It’s the reason why you haven’t moved on from them yet. Even though they haven’t made a move, even though a serious relationship hasn’t been established, you’re holding out hope that things will change. That this person will wake up one morning and decide they want to be with you. That all of the effort you’ve put into your arrangement with them will pay off. That you’ll end up with the happily ever you’ve been dreaming about for so long. The false hope is the reason why you haven’t started dating anyone else. You haven’t wanted to risk moving on, just in case your almost decides they want you, too. Even though nothing has changed between you, you don’t want to ruin the opportunity for things to change. You’ve been letting this person hold onto your heart, but that means no one else has had the chance to win you over. Technically, you’re single, but you might as well say you’re taken because you aren’t interested in anyone else. You’ve closed yourself off to the rest of the world. The hardest part of almost relationships is the false hope. If you knew they didn’t feel the same way, then you would move on – but they flirt with you so much. If you knew your personalities clashed, then you would move on – but you can talk for hours. If you knew you didn’t have a chance, then you would move on – but they keep giving you more and more reasons to stay. They’re stringing you along, and you keep letting them, because you feel like they’ll be yours if you hold out for long enough. After all, you make sense together. You would be a perfect match. If your almost can’t see that, it’s only a matter of time until it becomes clear. That’s why you keep sticking around, even though they don’t always treat you right. Your false hope has convinced you to lower your standards. It has fooled you into thinking that, one day, they’re going to treat you better. One day, they’re going to see what they’ve been missing. One day, they’re going to spoil you rotten. But what about today? If they aren’t giving you the respect you deserve right now, you don’t need them. If they’re making you feel lost and insecure and uncertain, why do you want them so badly? Wouldn’t you rather date someone who makes you feel beautiful and strong and intelligent? Wouldn’t you rather feel supported every second of every day instead of every few weeks when they finally text you back? The hardest part of every almost relationship is the false hope. You never know when you should walk away or when you should give them a little more time. You never know when you’re right about their feelings for you or when you’re only fooling yourself. You never know when you should decide you deserve better and end the flirting for good.
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is one of the most famous books of all time. But what would similar laws look like in the hands of narcissists and what kinds of “laws” and power plays do narcissists operate on to gain a tactical advantage over their targets? Here are the 12 laws of power according to narcissistic traits and behaviors. Note that this article will help you identify manipulation tactics narcissists use and is not meant to be used to manipulate others.
Law #1: Do as I say, not as I do. The narcissist doesn’t criticize you because they exercise lofty moral standards themselves; they do so to keep you under their control, walking on eggshells, and mired in self-doubt so they don’t lose you to a better partner or a better life away from them. That is why they will display astounding hypocrisy when they tell you what to do – while engaging in opposite behaviors themselves.
Law #2: Whoever cares least is the most powerful. Distance yourself and retreat shortly after love bombing. The narcissist acts on the morally warped principle that the more interest you show in a person, the less they will desire you. That is why they try to weaponize their absence, silent treatments, and stonewalling to keep their partners “in line” and always obedient to them.
Law #3: Never tell the whole truth, let others tell you theirs to identify potential vulnerabilities to exploit. Then, use their oversharing against them. The narcissist fabricates stories of their past to make themselves look like the victim. They hide their true intentions for pursuing you to match and mirror what they think you want – your dreams, goals, desires, and even personality to sway you into falling in love with them. These lies distort reality and the nature of their true character, allowing you to become infatuated with their mask and addicted to them. However, as they conceal the truth, they convince you to disclose personal traumas, insecurities, and fears that they will later use against you in the relationship.
Law #4: Break-ups are a display of power, not permanent. You must always be a presence in someone’s life regardless of the status of the relationship. Narcissistic and psychopathic partners wield power through “orchestrated break-ups.” This is how they make sure they keep you fixated on them and the relationship. Such break-ups are manufactured not because the narcissist authentically wants to detach from you but rather as a twisted display of power, as they always come crawling back to ensnare you into the toxic cycle once more. Research indicates that psychopaths and narcissists tend to stay connected to their exes to maintain access to resources and sex, after all. Through these staged break-ups, they essentially say, “I am the one in control here. I am the one who gets to leave. You should do everything possible to win me back.” If met with this manipulation tactic, make sure you do everything possible to detach and leave rather than go through the abuse cycle once more with them.
Law #5: Wear a mask for however long it takes to get someone invested. Once they are, remove the mask. By that time, they’re too invested to flee. The narcissist and psychopath use superficial, glib charm to keep their victims hooked on their façade. Watch out for the minor discrepancies and micro-betrayals that seem to contradict this mask. Their long-term behaviors will tell you everything you need to know.
Law #6: Boundaries are just lines waiting to be crossed. Always test them, frequently and with escalation. Manipulators incorporate covert insults under the guise of “sarcasm” and “just jokes.” They poke and prod at you and your insecurities, even manufacturing flaws that never existed with comments designed to destabilize you and cast doubt on your talents and abilities. They learn your boundaries just to violate them. It’s important to observe how dating partners treat your boundaries early on and also in the long-term. Watch out for the slow erosion of boundaries over time as well as rage attacks when a boundary is enforced.
Law #7: Always play the victim when held accountable. Feign trauma as an excuse, even when it is not present or when it is not a motivator for your actions. Conceal your malice with pity ploys. Narcissists and psychopaths may tell stories of a childhood they never experienced early on in the relationship (some even go so far as to “steal” the childhood stories of others to make themselves seem more victimized) or pretend they were cheated on even if they were the ones doing the cheating. Watch out for forced premature intimacy and disclosure early on in dating – if someone is dumping their trauma on you without getting to know you organically first, it’s a red flag, even if they’re not a narcissist. It may mean they’re not emotionally ready for a healthy relationship.
Law #8: Get them excited about a future that may never pan out, so you can get what you want from them in the present moment. Narcissists use future-faking to make you believe that they are interested in a long-lasting healthy relationship just to get whatever they want from you – labor, resources, sex, praise, attention. Once they’ve depleted you of your energy and time, they move on to other sources of narcissistic supply – other victims they can drain.
Law #9: Leave a brutal impact on the victim so they always remember you, even if the victim did not desire you in the beginning. Inflicting trauma is one of the narcissist’s few natural talents (the others, they just steal and fake from meeting actually talented people). They know that the bigger the trauma, the more memorable and significant they are to you and your life. It’s not your hatred they fear – it’s their insignificance. Once they lose control over you, they lash out to try to regain that significance just to re-traumatize you all over again. This can traumatize you even when you weren’t that interested in them in the first place.
Law #10: Competition makes you seem more desirable. Lure your targets in by mentioning other love interests or past partners frequently to keep them alert and focused on you, and not the manipulation. Robert Greene actually mentions this in his book The Art of Seduction. Researchers call it jealousy induction and confirms that narcissists deliberately provoke jealousy on purpose to maintain power and control and to test the relationship. For years before studies came out on this phenomenon, it was known as romantic “triangulation.” Narcissists and psychopaths know that jealousy can be a primal reaction to the possibility of losing their partner to someone else, even if you’re not necessarily that interested in the narcissist. Once such an “aura of desirability” as Robert Greene calls it is established by the manipulator, you are mobilized to compete for and vie for their attention – unless you choose not to play the love triangle game at all and leave instead.
Law #11: Hot and cold is better than consistency. Keep them working for approval once the honeymoon stage has passed. Research reveals that it’s not consistently warm behavior from a partner that gets us “most” addicted to them; it’s actually intermittent reinforcement of positive treatment mixed with mistreatment and devaluation. That is what gets dopamine flowing most readily in the brain and creates such a strong trauma bond and attachment to the narcissist. Remember: if someone is playing hot and cold with you, it’s time to go cold for good.
Law #12: Master the art of indifference even to things you care about; true narcissists will do this by default. Even when the narcissist does care, they will pretend not to in order to deliberately provoke you. They will ignore you after a break-up while posting shady references to you or your relationship on social media; they may flaunt a third party to try to make you compete for them even if you have no interest; they might suddenly contact you once they see you’re moving forward with someone else, only to neglect you once more. These are just power ploys to make sure they’re the ones who are affecting your life. Become indifferent to the narcissist and start investing in yourself.
Nobody wants to watch a TV show where they can predict every major storyline or main narrative plot point. In reality, all the best TV shows thrive on the unexpected, allowing audiences to gasp and recoil as they watch their favorite characters carry out some sort of action they never dreamed possible.
With that in mind, it’s safe to say certain TV characters took every chance they had to do the unexpected. From explosive-tempered New Yorkers to cackling criminal kingpins, here are some of the most unhinged characters we’ve seen on our television screens yet.
Frank Costanza (Seinfeld)NBCIt’s not an exaggeration to say that Jerry Stiller was born to play Seinfeld’s Frank Costanza. The erratic father of his anxiety-riddled son George, the joy of Frank’s presence lay in his sheer unpredictability as a character. Yelling at the top of his lungs with the slightest provocation, Frank always managed to turn every situation into a full-fledged screaming contest (to the horror and embarrassment of his long-suffering family, of course).
Frank Reynolds (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)FXTechnically speaking, almost every single character on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia can be described as manically unhinged, whether discussing the paint-huffing Charlie or the clinically psychopathic Dennis. However, we’ll go out on a limb and single out Frank as the most unpredictable member of the Paddy Pub’s gang. A wealthy mogul who willingly lives in squalor alongside his possible son Charlie, Frank’s unethical business practices, coarse attitude, and general lack of hygiene establish him as one of It’s Always Sunny’s most unforgettable creations.
Creed Bratton (The Office)NBCSure, Dwight, Kelly, Ryan, and even Michael are chaotically unpredictable, but Creed Bratton is an entirely different kind of unhinged altogether. Initially billed as the older, slightly more seasoned Quality Assurance representation of Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, Creed somehow morphs into a shady, perpetually spaced-out member of The Office’s workplace. Looking back, we don’t necessarily know if he’s a powerful mob boss, a calculating cult leader, or a dangerous sociopath – although perhaps he’s a little bit of everything wrapped into one hilarious package.
Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones)HBOQuite possibly the closest thing Game of Thrones had to an outright villain, Joffrey Baratheon is that rare GoT character with little to any redeeming qualities. A petulant, snobbish, immature boy king who uses his monarchical powers to terrorize his subjects, Joffrey’s sadistic tendencies led him to commit all kinds of atrocious acts for the sake of his own amusement. Say what you will about Cersei or Ramsey, but at least they employed some semblance of strategic logic behind their twisted actions. Joffrey, on the other hand, was moved by his own hot-headed, overly-emotional mindset, leading him to act without ever sparing a moment’s thought to the repercussions of his actions.
Ben Chang (Community)NBCBen Chang has worn many different hats in the context of Community, initially appearing as the hot-headed Spanish teacher of Greendale Community College before his gradual fall from grace. Since then, Chang has filled an array of distinct roles on the college campus, intermittently appearing as a homeless student, a psychotic security guard, a wannabe dictator, a struggling actor, and an unfulfilled math teacher. No matter the circumstances behind his return, audiences couldn’t wait to see more of Chang’s less-than-stable antics, as well as wondering how he’d interact with Community’s study group this time around.
The Joker (Batman: The Animated Series)Fox KidsThe fact that Mark Hamill’s colorful take on the Joker continues to be mentioned in the same breath as Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger’s iteration of the character should tell people all they need to know. A delightfully wacky figure in the two-dimensional landscape of Gotham City, Hamill’s energetic portrayal of the Joker wound up being the ideal counterpart to Kevin Conroy’s dark and brooding Caped Crusader.
Homelander (The Boys)Amazon Prime VideoAs if the idea of an evil Superman weren’t bad enough, The Boys’ Homelander somehow manages to supersede expectations when it comes to his ultra-villainous antics. Though it’s hard to say for certain whether nature or nurture accounts for his obvious psychopathic tendencies, fans have little reason to doubt Homelander’s clearly unstable mentality, as evidenced by his lengthy list of crimes and irredeemably awful actions.
Opening the door to your warm apartment after walking in late January air.
Running into a hug from your friend at the airport.
Package delivery (you know it’s true).
The exhale of resolution.
When your friend admits she doesn’t want to go out either.
When someone accepts your apology or you hear “sorry” when you thought it would never be said.
Sending the risky text and getting an even riskier reply.
When the dog chooses you at the party.
Meeting up with an old friend but it’s like no time has passed.
Finding your keys after you had been looking for 20 minutes and were about to lose your mind.
A long-awaited cry.
The first sip of coffee in the morning.
When you listen to a new song and the lyrics were exactly what you needed to hear at that moment in time.
Laughing fits.
When you think of the damn word that had been dancing on the edge of your tongue.
Walking to your car after an amazing first date.
When your school finally called the snow day.
Seeing your loved ones become all they wanted to be.
Unspoken understanding.
Drunken dancing.
Comfortably silent car rides.
Finishing a book and needing to sit with it for a few minutes afterward because it was just that good.
Realizing that everything you have is what younger you once wanted and knowing how proud they’d be to see you made it. That you turned out okay after all.
Lack of self-love is probably the biggest hindrance to finding and having romantic love.
When you don’t love yourself, how will you ever trust that anyone could actually love you?
Self-esteem doesn’t just mean “feeling good about yourself.” Self-esteem is built on being good, competent, and lovable and recognizing it. And loving yourself doesn’t mean you love everything about yourself. It means you realize you are lovable and worthy of love.
I’m going to share how to know if you lack self-love as well as tips for how to improve your self-esteem.
Here are the signs your self-love tank is low.
- You can’t just be yourself.People who love themselves can just be. There are comfortable and confident navigating any situation and trust that they’ll be able to handle anything.
People who are insecure or don’t love themselves often engage in “masking,” which means they try to conform to societal expectations by being whatever they think they should be, or who others expect them to be.
They may feel anxious or nervous in social situations, almost as if they’re afraid of being “found out” and their real self exposed.
- You are worried about what other people think.Look, we all worry a little bit about what other people think. But for people lacking self-love, the worry is louder and all-consuming.
The reason is they don’t have a solid sense of self, so they look to the outside to give it to them. And there’s a lot at stake when you do that.
If someone approves of you, you’re relieved, you feel OK. If someone rejects you, then you’re worthless, a loser.
Other people’s opinions are everything to you and one slightly negative remark can ruin your entire day or week or month!
- You are extremely sensitive to criticism.No one likes too criticized, but it happens, it’s life. And we’re all flawed!
If someone criticizes you and you have an extreme reaction, it’s because you already believed that thing to be true- you just wish it wasn’t true.
If you love yourself, you can accept that “OK, I’m not perfect, I have flaws, and I know I can work on them.”
If you don’t love yourself, you will be furious when someone criticizes you. Or you may feel ashamed and humiliated as if you’ve been found out, that this thing you’re trying to hide is obvious to others.
- Excessive people pleasing.People who don’t love themselves rely on others as a gauge of how lovable they are. They may put someone else’s needs above their own in order to please them and gain their approval.
In a relationship, this will play out when a woman doesn’t love herself, tries to prove her worth to a man, does everything to please him, make him happy, and bend over backward to get him to love her. She mistakenly believes if she does that, then she’ll be worthy and deserving, but that’s not where self-love comes from.
- You don’t trust your own judgment.You struggle to make decisions and when you do make a decision, you fear it’s the wrong one.
You are never totally sure of your decisions and can’t trust yourself so you second guess and are consumed with self-doubt.
You may not trust your own intuition which can cause you to stay with someone who treats you terribly. Maybe you think you don’t deserve better or maybe you just can’t see clearly and write off his behavior as “not being so bad.”
- You feel like an imposter.Also known as “imposter syndrome.” You basically doubt yourself and your abilities and feel like a fraud. Like someday everyone is going to discover the deep dark secret that you actually aren’t the person they all thought you were.
You don’t really trust positive feedback. You feel like anything you accomplish is due to luck or an accident.
- Negative self-talk.If you lack self-love, you will always be bashing yourself. We all do this to a certain extent but it’s important to notice when you are and nip it in the bud.
Once you start down that path, it’s so easy to keep sliding into more and more negative thoughts until you’ve constructed a completely insane scenario where you’re an ugly troll living under a bridge because you’re not good enough and no one wants you or even likes you.
How crazy does that sound? But that’s where our minds take us when we just roll with the negative self-talk.
Negative thoughts are like magnets, they attract more and more negativity and the cycle can spin out of control on an endless, torturous loop.
- You don’t take care of yourselfAnother major sign that you’re lacking self-love is you have unhealthy coping mechanisms. This could include starving, binging, excessive drinking, excessive attention-seeking from men, addiction to other things, and “hustling” so hard work is your only hobby.
You veer more toward self-destructive behaviors to cope because deep down you don’t believe you are worthy of feeling good, healthy, and happy.
Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve to treat yourself right, maybe your lack of self-love has led you into a depression and you don’t have the motivation to do things that will benefit you and be healthy for you. Maybe you feel like you deserve to suffer and be punished for being so terrible.
- Inferiority complex.You just feel inferior and constantly compare yourself to others and feel like you come up short. This could be people in your circle or even worse, strangers on social media.
We all do this from time to time— it’s hard not to!— but people who lack self-love are much more prone to these toxic comparisons and use it to fuel their underlying belief that they are not good enough.
- You need constant reassurance.In a relationship, this manifests as you constantly needing assurance from your partner that they won’t leave, that they still love you, etc. You don’t really trust it because you don’t love yourself. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop and this puts you on edge all the time.
You may also need constant reassurance from others. Whether it’s fire emojis on Instagram or constant praise from your boss that you’re doing a good job, positive feedback from teachers, constantly making sure your friends aren’t mad at you and everything is good… this endless quest is just exhausting and it doesn’t keep your tank full for long. You are always looking for another fix because your sense of worth isn’t stable.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying praise and compliments, but it becomes a problem when you need it and can’t feel secure without it.
- You can’t or don’t have healthy relationships.You may struggle in relationships because you’re too needy and drain the other person, and that can be exhausting and end up pushing people away.
Or maybe you can’t connect. Maybe you keep others at a distance because you’re afraid of rejection because you’re scared of getting hurt or you just feel unlovable and unworthy.
If this list made you realize you lack self-love, here are some tips to work on it and improve:
- Take control of your thoughts.Your thoughts don’t have to control you. While you can’t block every single negative thought, you can choose how to react to it or whether you want to believe it.
Pluck out those negative thoughts like weeds and tell yourself the opposite. Treat your mind like a garden and start planting positive things in there. If you keep it up, you’ll see those thoughts grow into something really beautiful.
- Challenge yourself.Self-esteem comes from pushing past our comfort zone. It comes from setting goals and working toward achieving them.
Do something even when you don’t feel like it. Push yourself to learn new things, do new things, and explore. Give yourself an outlet to feel good and try something you haven’t done before. It’s a great way to have fun and build your confidence.
- Be ActiveBeing physical is proven to make you feel good. No one comes home from the gym full of regret or saying: “Wow, I wish I hadn’t done that.”
You’re taking care of yourself in more ways than one when you move your body, especially when you find something you really enjoy. It doesn’t have to be at the gym. Just make it consistent and a priority.
- Forgive yourself.So, you’ve made mistakes. It’s OK. We all have!
Here’s a secret. No one is thinking about you as much as you are. You are the only one bringing up that embarrassing thing you said in 6th grade or the time you tripped over your own two feet in a crowded coffee shop.
Who cares! Forgive yourself and move on because you have too many great things to do to get stuck in past mistakes.
- Be grateful.It’s very hard to be in a negative space when you are filled with gratitude.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed or in a low mindset, I take some time to sit and just focus on breathing and all the things I’m grateful for in the moment. It’s such an amazing shift to have and it’s so easy to do.
- You Will Be OK.Self-esteem essentially comes down to the belief that no matter what happens, you’ll be OK. You’ll be able to deal with it. You’ll get through it.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times this simple little phrase has saved my sanity. Remember, you’ve survived every one of your worst days.
When it feels wrong, you don’t need a ‘good’ reason to leave. This person might be your perfect match on paper. They might check off all your boxes. They might be everything you thought you were looking for in a person. But if you’re unhappy, if you cannot picture a future alongside them and dread every moment you spend together, you don’t have to come up with a ‘reasonable’ excuse to leave. You can just leave.
When you’re with the wrong person, you don’t have to fight harder to make the relationship work. Sometimes, relationships aren’t meant to work. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away. Give each other the opportunity to meet someone who makes more sense as a partner. Someone who can provide the happy ending you’ve both been searching so hard to find.
You shouldn’t stay with someone out of guilt about hurting their feelings. And you shouldn’t stay with someone out of concern that you’re going to look like the bad guy. Breakups suck, but ripping off the bandage is so much better in the long-run than continuing a relationship that isn’t making you happy.
Remember, your feelings matter, too. You deserve to feel fulfilled, too. If a relationship isn’t working from your side, then it isn’t working, period. It takes two people to commit. If you aren’t feeling the same surge of chemistry, then maybe you aren’t meant to last. Maybe you would be happier if you said your goodbyes now instead of prolonging the inevitable.
When it feels wrong, you don’t have to stay in the relationship to fix whatever is broken. You don’t have to expend all your energy trying to set things right with the wrong person. Instead, you could go out searching for the right person. You don’t owe anyone a relationship. If it’s not working, you’re allowed to call it quits and move on with your life.
It takes courage to admit when a relationship isn’t working, especially when all you want is to settle down and start your life with someone special. Walking away is usually harder than staying in place, so if you’re feeling that pull to leave, you should pay attention. Listen to your gut. Don’t ignore the warning signs.
When it feels wrong, when you know this other person doesn’t have the tools to make you happy, you owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship. Even if it feels selfish or unfair, you need to do what’s best for yourself. You need to make the decision that will allow you to rest the easiest at night. You don’t want to look back and have a life filled with regrets. You don’t want to force yourself to stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable and hope time will make it easier to cope.
Relationships aren’t about surviving. They’re about thriving. So if your heart is screaming that they’re wrong for you, you’re allowed to pack your bags. Sometimes, you need to trust your instincts. You need to put yourself first. After all, you owe it to yourself to find a relationship that feels right.
Men and women can both be narcissists, but women tend to experience specific risks in the dating world. Here are ways they can protect themselves from manipulation, according to a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy.
Narcissists can be male or female. Women, however, encounter unique safety concerns in the dating world due to hookup culture and a heightened risk of violence. In a previous article, I discussed the different “laws of power” narcissists in general use to manipulate their victims. Here are six dating power moves women can use to protect themselves in the dating world.
Do not let the narcissist know you’re onto them. Instead, adjust your behavior toward detachment and withdrawal whenever you see red flags. Use actions and absence, rather than words, to enforce your standards. It is tempting to call out narcissistic traits and behaviors in a dating partner. Yet most of the time when we are just beginning to know someone, this will not help the situation and will only escalate manipulation. When you play the fool, you allow toxic people to unmask themselves more quickly than when you try to reason with a narcissist. For example, if you start pointing out the narcissist’s red flags right away, they get a notice that they need to be on their best behavior to win you over. As a result, they may start love bombing, charming or gaslighting you to ensure you stay bonded to them. You can become tempted by their charm to give them second chances rather than look out for your own best interest. Calling out their behavior and holding them accountable can certainly empower you before you detach during some scenarios, but it can also leave room open for potential retaliation or verbal abuse. It is important to keep your safety in mind, especially with someone you don’t know yet.
Be attracted to how he treats you and invests in you long-term, not just how he looks on paper. Match energy and effort. Put attention elsewhere if you sense you’re being ignored or neglected.It’s important for all people but especially women who have been socialized to be people-pleasers to have higher standards, boundaries and expectations when it comes to dating. It’s vital to reserve your time, energy, attention, and affection for truly serious partners if your goal in dating is a healthy relationship. This is because research shows that in hookup culture, women are more likely to be exploited or blindsided by men who are looking for sex but will portray themselves as looking for a relationship. That is why, above all else, you must look at how he treats you and how he invests in you through his actions not just what he appears to offer. A handsome, financially stable, and seemingly empathic man may seem perfect on paper. But the way he treats you is most important. He may be charming and popular with people in society, but is he empathic toward you long-term, or does he just play the role of a good person to whoever benefits him at the moment? Is he consistent with his romantic gestures, or does he love-bomb you only in the beginning and when he wants something?
Is he successful yet always “too busy” to communicate? Does he have a generous provider mentality which shows that he wants to genuinely impress and emotionally take care of the woman he loves, or is he stingy and unwilling to take you out on proper dates or give you consistent affection and attention? Remember, it’s not necessarily about money: it’s about his character. Even a high-value man with more limited financial means will find ways to romance you and impress the woman he truly loves while a rich partner can still be stingy toward the people he loves. If you’re not feeling like your date wants to put in effort to make you feel special, he’s not truly serious.
Go into dating with the healthy fear and skepticism of becoming potentially committed to the wrong man so you’re geared to protect yourself, rather than the hope of finding “the one” right away so you’re incentivized to settle for less.Men generally tend to decenter their dating lives. It is a “bonus,” not the entirety of their existence. Women, on the other hand, are socialized to center men and relationships from a very young age. In this case, it can actually be helpful to “date like a man” when it comes to how much you prioritize relationships. Women are taught that their ultimate goals in life is getting into a relationship (even if it’s a toxic one) and getting married at all costs. To effectively counter this habit and deprogram this harmful social programming, consider that one of the happiest demographics of women is single and childfree women, and that research indicates that women tend to experience greater psychological distress after the honeymoon period in marriage.
Think about ways in which relationships in general add stress in your life to curb this conditioning – it’s a far healthier and balanced way of viewing commitment and relationships to see both the pros and cons than being hyper-focused on the social status of being in a romantic relationship.Then, recognize the benefits of staying single and not settling until you meet a high-quality partner. Rather than rushing into toxic relationships with manipulators and marriage to give your life meaning, think about the ways your life is already meaningful and enriching, and brainstorm how to improve other aspects of your life; write down your goals for your career, finances, friendships, hobbies, interests, physical fitness, and self-care routine. Level up in these areas so that any potential dating partner must add value to your life in order to enter it. Take the pressure off getting into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship for the social status and focus more on what kind of partner you want to actually have in your life. You can have fun dating without commitment – but even when you do date, make sure you’re vetting your dating partners thoroughly so you are not manipulated or exploited.
Be ruthless about your standards and have a strong cut-off game. Rather than viewing dating as a one-track route to finding a husband, see it more as a playground where you set the “rules” for yourself. You determine your standards, expectations, and boundaries in the vetting process, and perform the cost-benefits analysis that will determine who is a worthy mate – someone who adds value to your life. Writing a list of qualities you desire in a partner as well as your dealbreakers can be helpful. Women are usually socially conditioned to feel they cannot have preferences like men do and focus solely on personality over physical attraction. Men generally are encouraged to go after what attracts them visually. Rather than necessarily emphasizing one or the other, it’s important to strike a balance and consider both what emotionally and physically attracts you in a partner. You are just as deserving of finding someone who meets all your needs. Do not “build up” your dating partner or try to change them – observe who they truly are and act accordingly. If they demonstrate red flags that irk you, cut them off. Men do it all the time with very little qualms – they will not usually tolerate a woman disrespecting them or may even cut someone off for not meeting their expectations and standards. You must do the same.
Identify how he treats women who are more successful than him as well as women he cannot control.Successful, high-achieving, and intelligent women have a built-in advantage when it comes to dating. Numerous studies indicate that generally men tend to feel intimidated or emasculated by them and opt out without knowing anything else about them, even though they were initially attracted to them. This is an automatic “filter” system that chases away men who have not looked carefully at their own misogynistic attitudes, or worse, are narcissistic and pathologically envious. However, it can be helpful to test this throughout the relationship, as some malignant narcissists will deliberately target successful, attractive women just for the purpose of bringing them down. How does he react when you share an accomplishment or achievement he does not have? Does he congratulate you and offer to celebrate your wins? Or does he center himself, lash out in envy, and minimize your achievement? Does he become cold and withdrawn when you talk about your dreams or goals or when you get more attention than him, whether it’s for your achievements, personality, or appearance? This is the type of man you do not want in your life as he will only seek to control and diminish you. You deserve a high-quality partner who is proud of your accomplishments and positive qualities, just as you would be proud of him.
Consider the unique safety risks women take on when dating. Do not try to be “equal” in an unequal world or spoil a dating partner early on without even knowing him. Remember, you’re the one who takes on the majority of the risks and burdens.In modern romance, many women feel empowered being independent and want to show that they value equality. That’s a noble gesture, but it dismisses the rampant inequality, violence, and misogyny women experience on a daily basis. The truth is, it does not matter that women now have certain rights, because in dating, you can still be treated as inferior just for being a woman by a man who feels entitled to your company and feels entitled to using you. That’s why it’s important not to suggest that you are “wife material” to a man by cooking and cleaning for him early on, or offering to be their free therapist, or letting them move in and leech off your resources. The world is already rigged toward your dating partner’s favor and you risk multiple forms of violence any time you go on a date; to reduce the chance of having your emotional and domestic labor or even resources exploited, let them persuade you with their actions why you should risk your safety for them instead. As a society, we have gotten it wrong: if women are the ones taking on most of the burdens and risks in the dating world with far less benefits in marriage and childrearing, they should be the one evaluating their partners more heavily before commitment, not working overtime trying to prove their worth for a man.
Keep your options open and never prematurely commit to anyone; never assume exclusivity.Dating is different from a relationship. Most men generally know this and behave accordingly to this principle by exploring their options – whether that means hooking up or dating different women, or even leading women on to believe they want a relationship just to get what they want. Women, on the other hand, can get hyperfocused on a single dating partner and forget that she has other options easily. This can leave her vulnerable to being played by a narcissist or otherwise toxic partner who can string her along or emotionally abuse her because he knows she’s now invested and hooked. Rather than trying to settle down with the first person who impresses you, wait to observe his long-term behavior. Date other people if you need to get less attached. Get acquainted with all the red flags of narcissists before you date. Take your time and really enjoy the dating process. This will give you a healthier, more balanced perspective as you look for a potential match.
In Breaking Bad, Walter White, aka Heisenberg, uttered some of television’s most famous and petrifying quotes across five seasons.
Breaking Bad introduces the audience to the meek-and-mild high school chemistry teacher Walter White, exquisitely played by Bryan Cranston, who receives a cancer diagnosis that changes his life. Determined to find a way to pay his medical bills and leave his family better off, Walt teams up with his former student Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) to cook and sell meth. Walt’s intentions start off good and demonstrate how desperate times call for desperate measures, but this journey into the criminal underworld changes him – and not for the better.
The Vince Gilligan-created show features some of the smartest writing in television history, especially in terms of the dialogue between the characters. Throughout the five seasons, Walt provides a number of iconic quotes that not only poke and provoke, but also send chills down the spine because of their grave meanings. So, let’s take a look at 10 of the best from Breaking Bad‘s Walter White.
“I could have saved her, but I didn’t”Throughout Breaking Bad, Walter White’s morals become flexible. No longer does he do something because “it’s the right thing to do.” Case in point: He lets Jesse’s girlfriend, Jane Margolis, choke to death on her own vomit after she overdoses because he knows this will give him control over Jesse again. Later, he reveals this harrowing detail to Jesse, who realizes the monster that Walt has become.
“I sleep just fine”Before his cancer diagnosis, Walt carries the weight of the world on his shoulders as life’s everyday struggles beat him into the ground. In a revelatory conversation with his brother-in-law, Hank Schrader, Walt explains how his cancer diagnosis changed everything for him, freeing him in a sense from all the woe and worry of his existence. He finds peace in knowing his mortality is about to end.
“There will be consequences”It’s ironic how Walt tells his wife, Skyler, there are consequences for her trying to go against him, but he doesn’t see it the same way for him. However, this moment in the final season reaffirms that Walt might be lost forever, as he takes the kids from her and ensures she knows it’s because of her going against him. Later, Walt does right by her and their children, but it’s harrowing to realize how he turns on his wife in such a vicious manner.
“If you believe that there’s a hell, I don’t know if you’re into that, we’re already pretty much going there, right?”Jesse reaches a point where he wants out of the drug business – for real this time. Walt tells him that it’s something they’re good at and should stick with it, but Jesse remains apprehensive because of all the innocent people who have died due to their actions. Walt goes off on a monologue about how they aren’t innocent in any of this and have killed for their own selfish intentions too. Frighteningly, Walt points out there is no chance at redemption or forgiveness for what they have done, suggesting their souls are already damned.
“I missed it”As Breaking Bad goes on, Walter White undergoes a radical transformation in his personality. Along the way, his cancer goes into remission. While this should be a cause for celebration, it isn’t for Walt as he realizes there’s no turning back from all he’s done now. For him, death isn’t the viable escape plan he had before since he missed the turnoff to get off life’s highway.
“Run”In Breaking Bad Season 3, Walter White shows his humanity by choosing Jesse’s life and defying Gus Frings. Driving in his car, he runs over two dealers and instructs Jesse to do one thing: “Run.” It’s a pivotal point in the storyline since this incident sets up a series of catastrophic events, changing both Walt and Jesse’s lives. Maybe the pair should have carried on running and never stopped to look back.
“If you don’t know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly”Breaking Bad features an endless cat-and-mouse game as Hank chases the infamous Heisenberg – not knowing he’s secretly his brother-in-law, Walt. When Hank puts the puzzle pieces together, he and Walt finally face off. It’s at this moment that Hank questions all the lies and deceit before slugging him. However, Walt responds in a terrifying fashion, demonstrating to Hank that if he doesn’t know who he is or the lengths he’ll go to, it’s best to not test him.
“I did it for me”After Walt’s cancer diagnosis, he gets into the drug business as a way to leave his family in a better state after his presumed passing. He reaches certain crossroads that offer him the opportunity to walk away from the life of crime with all the cash he could have ever wanted, but he never takes them. Ultimately, he admits to Skyler that his reasons for doing what he did changed along the way. He didn’t carry on for his family; he carried on for himself because he liked how it made him feel alive.
“Say my name”By Breaking Bad Season 5, Walt’s transformation is complete. He’s no longer the scared or timid person the fans meet in the first season. In fact, one has to wonder how much of Walt exists or has been replaced by his alter ego, Heisenberg. He walks with a different confidence and demeanor, as he meets his rivals face to face and doesn’t shirk from revealing his true form. When Declan asks him who he is, Walt tells the meth dealer he knows exactly who he is and to say his name. And no, this isn’t a tribute to the Destiny’s Child song.
“I am the one who knocks”Out of all the Breaking Bad quotes, the “I am the one who knocks” monologue from Walter White proves to be the most memorable and chilling of the entire series. It’s the scene in which he reveals his true self to his wife, Skyler. He explains to her that he isn’t in trouble; he is the trouble. He uses the analogy of someone opening the door and being shot, explaining how he isn’t the person opening the door – he’s the one knocking. He presents himself as the angel of death.
It goes a little something like this:
You’ve been seeing someone for a while. You’ve gone on a number of dates and text regularly. You’re sensing a strong connection and you genuinely feel like you could see the two of you becoming something real.
But one day, something begins to change. It’s subtle at first. For example, one random Monday they take a longer time than usual to reply and are short. You figure it was a busy day at work or that they’re in a bad mood. But then their replies continue to become shorter and more sporadic as the days move forward. They stop asking you what you’re up to over the weekend or are busy when you ask them to meet up.
So you give them some space because you think maybe that’s what they need. You stop reaching out. You never hear from them again. To this day, they still watch your Instagram Stories.
Sorry, but you’ve been soft ghosted.
Soft ghosting is when someone you’re seeing or talking to gradually fades from your life. They reply to your texts with reactions or emojis, but don’t make an effort to truly respond to what you’re saying or continue the conversation. They dodge invitations to see one another and stop initiating dates altogether.
Usually, you can tell when someone is soft ghosting you because there is a palpable energy shift. The tone of your conversation changes. You went from talking until you fell asleep to small talk in small moments every now and again.
The biggest indicator you’re being soft ghosted, though, is that it’s only you who is doing all the heavy lifting to keep the conversation (and frankly the relationship) going. There is no longer reciprocation. The ball is always immediately thrown back in your court.
And it hurts. To be totally honest, being soft ghosted sucks SO much more than being left on read forever. Like, seriously, if I’m going to get ghosted, I’d rather the other person give me the courtesy to actually commit to the ghosting by going full-on no contact. At least I know where I stand in their life at that point.
On the other hand, with a soft ghosting situation, there are mixed signals and a lot of room for interpretation. At least at first. Eventually, the person being soft ghosted will get the hint but not without feeling strung along and embarrassed they didn’t catch on sooner.
If you’ve been soft ghosted, please know that it’s not your fault that you didn’t see the signs immediately. It’s hard to know when to say when in these kinds of situations. Plus, soft ghosting creates an unfair power dynamic in that one party is aware that the relationship is over and the other is not.
If you’re worried you’re in the process of being soft ghosted, listen to your instincts. The minute you’re starting to feel like you’re chasing, take a step back to catch your breath and assess the facts. You can ask for clarification. But if you’re met with a wishy-washy sry, just been busy, and then no change in communication, that’s all the information you need to move forward.
So, delete their number from your phone. Let yourself be sad. Talk it through with your friends. But most importantly, post the Instagram Story thirst trap. Because we know they’ll be lurking. Might as well show them you’re hot.
Toxicity exists on a spectrum, but there is a set of tell-tale behaviors that can point to a core lack of empathy, entitlement, and exploitativeness that can be harmful to relationships. Use the red flag items below to assess whether you can identify the following toxic behaviors in your partner. Keep a tally. For every item that applies to your partner, add ten points. Add an extra two points if the behavior is very frequent (twelve points for frequent behaviors instead of just ten). You will see explanations for your partner’s total “toxicity” score at the end.
He started off the relationship by giving you constant affection and attention, but his behavior has abruptly changed for no apparent reason. He now emotionally invalidates and neglects you and emotionally withholds from you.Toxic people start off the relationship at full speed: they fast-forward through emotional and physical intimacy with a manipulation tactic known as love bombing and engage in future-faking to make you believe that they are already planning marriage, children, and the perfect white picket fence life with you. However, as soon as you are sufficiently invested in the relationship, they’ll pull the rug from beneath you and act cold and callous, withdrawing attention and affection deliberately to make you chase after them. For this specific behavior, there is no apparent reason why they do this – there is nothing you did or said: it is a pattern of theirs that they use to control and manipulate you. If you bring up your concerns to this partner, he or she invalidates you and acts like you are imagining things or that there has been no change even when there has. They may even call you “crazy,” “distrustful,” “overreacting,” or “dramatic.”
He begins arguments out of thin air just to blame you when you react. You get the sense that he likes provoking you. Manipulative people thrive on chaos. These are the same people that often claim they do not like drama, yet they are often the source of drama. If your partner habitually goes out of his or her way to provoke you with absurd claims, excessive criticism, insults, name-calling, sudden rage attacks, or mischaracterizations of you that are unwarranted and hurtful, you’re likely dealing with a toxic and abusive person.
He tries to make you jealous on purpose. Research shows that certain toxic personality types such as narcissistic and psychopathic personalities provoke jealousy on purpose to control you and establish power over you. If your partner seems to implicitly or explicitly bring up past partners, or current prospects or talk excessively about their exes, beware. A healthy partner will not make you compete for them, nor will they label you “needy and insecure” for bringing up your concerns. The most manipulative partners will feign innocence if you bring up these behaviors but continue to engage in them excessively to further bait you into reacting. They gain fuel from these reactions.
You get the sense that he’s envious or jealous of you.Healthy, high-quality partners support you and cheer you on. Toxic partners tear you down. Your partner may be toxic if he or she minimizes your achievements, dishes out covert put-downs, compares you to others, or deflates your joy during happy and celebratory moments.
He rarely takes accountability for his harmful actions. Instead, he stonewalls or gaslights you when you bring up your concerns. When you address a concern constructively, you are met with extreme resistance from this partner. They may fly into a rage, shut down the conversation before it begins, or gaslight you into believing that there is something wrong with you and your perception. This person refuses to take responsibility for any of his actions – big or small – that may have hurt you.
He tries to sabotage holidays, your birthday, vacations, educational or career opportunities, and other special occasions.You do not get peace from this person, even during special occasions. Even though you do everything to celebrate this person’s achievements and make holidays, birthdays, or milestones a happy time for them, they try to actively sabotage your joyful moments. Whether they’re always playing the Grinch during Christmas or depriving you of sleep before important exams and job interviews, it’s all about controlling you so that you view them as your only source of happiness and validation.
He abandons you during times of need.When you are suffering from grief, trauma, an illness, or a stressful situation, your toxic partner is nowhere to be found. The most depraved of toxic people are known for abandoning or abusing their loved ones even during life-threatening illnesses. The most toxic partners actively make things worse by fear-mongering you with remarks that worsen the situation or by kicking you when you’re already down.
He’s condescending, patronizing, or chronically sarcastic.If he treats you like you’re less than and is contemptuous and condescending in his communication with you, this is emotionally abusive and toxic. If he responds to your emotions as if you don’t have a right to your emotions and should be a passive sponge for his cruelty, this is also emotionally abusive and toxic. If he uses chronic sarcasm to belittle and bully you, this can actually be a potential red flag of darker personality traits like psychopathy.
He’s unpredictably hot and cold and retaliates when you set boundaries.You never know where you stand with this person. One minute, they’re sweeping you off your feet with grand romantic gestures, especially when they’re hoping you forgive them. The next, you’re walking on eggshells hoping not to enrage them. They may even try to justify this behavior by pretending they’re lashing out due to stress – yet continue engaging in this behavior regardless of how many times you’ve pleaded with them to stop. If you fear disclosing your basic feelings and thoughts to this person and hesitate to set boundaries because you’ve encountered retaliation from them for setting boundaries, it is clear you do not feel emotionally safe in this relationship.
He’s shady and disrespectful on social media. If he’s following inappropriate and lewd accounts, being flirtatious with shady female friends, sliding into the direct messages or comments sections of other people in a boundary-trespassing manner, or posting suspicious and passive-aggressive captions referencing your relationship, don’t believe the minimization that it’s “just social media.” Social media is simply another platform to showcase pre-existing behaviors and habits, a very public platform at that. If they’re being disrespectful to you and your relationship on social media, they’re being disrespectful – period.
You catch him in white lies and big lies. You catch your partner lying about minuscule matters that don’t seem relevant to lie about. You also catch them in “big” lies as well – about who they were with or where or even who they are. This is likely a sign of a larger pattern of deception and pathological lying or possible emotional and/or physical infidelity that you need to pay attention to. It is especially manipulative if this person claimed they would never lie to you in the beginning but ended up lying about almost everything – this is a sign you’re dealing with a pathological personality who wants to engage in impression management.
You go overboard trying to please him, but he’s rarely reciprocal. He returns your kindness with cruelty. Even if you were once ardently pursued by this partner, you now find yourself going to extreme lengths to keep your partner pleased. This may be because you’re trauma bonded to them in ways that make the toxic relationship seem addictive and difficult to end. There is very little reciprocity as he returns your generosity with cruel and callous treatment. The kinder and more compassionate you are to him, the more you are degraded and punished by him. He only seems to become kinder to you when you withdraw your attention because he seeks to re-establish control.
He expects you to fix his life and do extra labor. It’s one thing to mutually support and help each other in healthy ways, but a whole other affair if a person is excessively dependent on you to fix his mental stability, finances, career, social life, or take on extra domestic and emotional labor that drains you. In that case, you do not have a healthy partner. You have the full-time job of raising a grown adult.
IS HE OR SHE TOXIC?Scoring Explanation:
12-36: Has some harmful toxic tendencies. If you find that these behaviors have not improved in the long-term even after communication, it may be best to reevaluate the state of your relationship with this person. Even a few of these red flags can be indicators of dangerous behaviors that can escalate over time, especially if they are very frequent.
46-96: Toxic. This person is displaying too many toxic behaviors which could harm you. It is best to detach as soon as possible. Cut down on your investment in this relationship and begin reality-checking in terms of how this relationship has affected you. Think about how this relationship will continue to harm you and what it will rob you of if you stay in the relationship.
106-156: Extremely toxic (high probability of narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies present and possibility for escalation). It can be helpful to seek professional support at this time. Create a safety plan and begin breaking the trauma bond so you can free yourself of the dangers ahead.
Let’s talk about why men pull away and then come back.
It could be a guy you’re casually seeing, or maybe it’s your long-term partner. No matter what the case, it’s disconcerting and you can’t help but feel panicked and on edge.
Did you do something to upset him? Is he losing interest in you? Does he want to break up with you?
These are all terrifying questions to ask … especially when it’s regarding a man you really care about.
The fact is, men do pull away and come back in relationships. It’s a naturally occurring cycle and happens for important reasons. Men and women are different and as such, the way they deal with emotions and stress can be different.
I know it feels confusing but it’s pretty simple really and I’m gonna break it all down for you.
Men typically retreat and withdraw into their “man cave” when dealing with stress or difficulties. That is just the way most men prefer to handle things, as opposed to most women who usually prefer to seek out and lean on those closest to them.
It feels good for a woman to talk to her close friends and family when she’s upset. This doesn’t feel good to most men. Most men feel ashamed when they’re off their game. And the last thing they want to do is be seen by others. Actually, that’s the second to last thing they want, the real last thing they would ever want is to be pitied and receive unsolicited advice from said pitiers. This is crushing and crippling to a man.
A man would much rather withdraw and work through whatever the issue is on his own, and then come back into the relationship when he’s feeling strong and confident again.
You may know about this on an intellectual level, but on an emotional level it hurts because you really wish he would just talk to you. You feel almost offended that he doesn’t want to open up to you. You might think it means he doesn’t really love or trust you. But that’s not the case. He does care, and that’s the reason he’s doing this! He cares so much about what you think that he doesn’t want you to see him when he’s not at his best.
Fine, maybe you would love him no matter what but it’s still not a good feeling for him. So he withdraws and takes space.
These are the most common reasons a man will pull away and take space from a relationship:1. He’s dealing with problems that have nothing to do with you.Maybe he’s stressed at work and his job isn’t going well, maybe he’s struggling with anxiety, maybe he’s having family issues, or maybe he’s having financial issues.
Life is filled with potential problems and setbacks, and when they arise, a man will want to take a step back to deal with them. Most men can only process one thing at a time, they can’t juggle and multi-task as efficiently as women. So when something comes up, he will put all his energy and attention into it.
- The relationship is moving too fast.Relationships often start out at lightning speed, and this isn’t always healthy. In the beginning, it’s all so exciting and exhilarating so the momentum is strong. You’re flying on a surge of feel-good hormones like Dopamine and Oxytocin.
It seems like things are going great, but a guy may panic at this point just a little bit because things are moving a little too quickly. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or isn’t interested, he just wants to slow things to a more comfortable pace. And really, what’s the rush here? This is a common occurrence in new relationships that started off with a bang.
- He’s having doubts about the relationship.This is more common in a long-term relationship. Look, sometimes people have doubts. That’s perfectly normal. If that’s what’s going on, he may want some time away to sort through his feelings. And this will work to your advantage because you not being there gives him the space to miss you.
What will have the opposite effect is if you go into overdrive trying to win him back and prove yourself to him. This will just make him resent you for being unable to give him something he needs (space) and it can make you come across as desperate and needy, which is never a good look.
- You’re doing something that’s causing him to withdraw.Maybe you’re being too clingy, too demanding, too negative, something along those lines is recurring in the relationship and he just doesn’t want to deal with it.
Most men want their lives easy and drama-free. The best relationship for a man is one that enhances his quality of life… not one that just adds more stress and burdens. This doesn’t mean you have to be on your best behavior at all times. You can certainly express negative emotions but there is a big difference between doing this in a way where you take ownership of your emotions and reactions… and one where you blame the other person or use your relationship as an emotional dumping ground.
As I said, the first scenario is the most common, but the others are likely as well. You’ll just have to assess your individual situation.
So What Should I Do When He’s Pulling Away?No matter why he’s pulling away, the advice on how to respond is the same: just give him space and let him do what he needs to do.
If he’s having doubts about you or the relationship, you being right there in his face will not change his mind, if anything it will make things even worse and he may become more annoyed with you and then he will really start rethinking the relationship.
Feeling upset can put us in a very selfish frame of mind. All we see is our pain and we try to find ways out of it. But you need to factor in how he’s feeling and what he needs, that’s what emotional maturity is all about. If he needs space, then it’s unfair of you to decide your need for him to be present is more important.
Try to maintain perspective here and realize that he’s doing what’s best for him, and what’s ultimately best for the relationship. If you just back off and give him space to naturally come back to you, then he will, and he’ll be even better and stronger and more of the partner you need. If you suffocate him, he’ll just resent you.
Just play it cool, focus on yourself, let him know you’re there if he wants to talk, and then just let it be.
Obviously, this shouldn’t drag on forever. He can’t just keep you on the back burner. So give it a few weeks and then reassess what’s going on. If he’s not coming back to you, then it’s likely that he doesn’t want to and is just buying more time.
Either way, use this time to better yourself. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship. Look at your life and at the way you feel about yourself and see if you can find areas of improvement. Then set small, achievable goals for yourself to get there.
Breakups are hard enough, but when your ex keeps coming back but doesn’t seem to want you back it can be crushing.
It could be an ex-boyfriend or an ex-situation-whatever, either way it hurts and it messes with your mind.
Maybe he starts commenting on your social media accounts, maybe he shoots you friendly texts once in a while, maybe he wants to go out for coffee and catch up. If you give in when he wants to talk or see you, then you may be in a devastating cycle of gaining false hope and thinking he wants to get back together, only to experience to crushing blow of rejection once again when he either disappears or tells you he doesn’t want to try again.
But then why? Why does he keep coming back? Surely it has to mean something!
A lot of women will make the mistake of thinking he keeps coming back because they’re meant to be, because he really is her soulmate or twin flame and just can’t live without her (and to that I just have to say, if he was truly meant to be with you then he would actually be with you!).
This is the truth about why he keeps coming back into your life:
1. He doesn’t want to feel like the bad guy.No guy, at least no normal, emotionally healthy guy, makes it a goal to break a woman’s heart. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he wants to believe you’re on the same page as him and everyone can move on and be happy.
A very long time ago, during my single days, I met a really hot guy who also happened to be really smart and nice, a jackpot!
And he was super into me right away. And given that things never ever seemed to work out the way I wanted, I figured the universe was finally throwing me a bone and I was getting what I deserved after so many years of heartache and rejection.
We went on a few dates and while we had fun, it was very clear this wasn’t a match. He was still very much in his “frat boy” era even though he had long since graduated, and I was in my late twenties and dating more seriously. It wasn’t just about having fun, I wanted to find someone I could get serious with.
I knew the truth, but he was just so hot I decided to ignore it and keep going, but then he not so surprisingly ghosted me. Even though I saw it coming, I was upset about it. But the show must go on.
Weeks went by and then I randomly ran into him on the streets of NYC (it’s always hard not to think of things as being meant to be when that happens, because seriously — what are the odds?!).
Now if I could go back in time and redo this moment, I would have just been cool and collected, I would have given him a friendly hello and been on my way. But that’s not what I did, I was overcome with a desperate need to win him over, to get things back on track. After some flirty and friendly banter, I invited him to a happy hour thing I was going to later that week.
He showed up, I tried to get him back, and I failed and felt like an idiot.
A few months go by and then he randomly texted me wishing me happy holidays. I immediately thought this meant he was interested in me again, that he had lingering feelings that were bubbling up to the surface.
But no, nothing came of it. But he would still shoot me friendly texts here and there. And I would usually reply enthusiastically and then the conversation would die off.
So what was his deal?
Well, I did run into him a few times at different events about a year after our “relationship” and I learned he’s just a really nice guy. I didn’t really pay attention to that part when were dating because I was so focused on getting him to like me, but he is just kind of a sweet little puppy and I think he just didn’t want to feel like the bad guy by ghosting a girl. So in his mind, he wasn’t really ghosting because he was still texting me on occasion. And I’m not giving him a total pass here. What he did was immature, but as I said, he was still in his frat boy era. And I don’t think he realized that he was giving me false hope every time he texted. I genuinely think he thought it was the kind thing to do, he didn’t want me to feel like I was just discarded.
No guy ever wants to feel like the bad guy. No guy is bragging to his friends about the girl he just ghosted.
2. He misses you.Desire, attraction, and feelings of liking or loving someone are complex, these things don’t turn on and off like a light switch.
It’s possible he’s reaching out because he genuinely misses you and misses what you shared together… but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back together with you.
A coaching client of mine was going through a pretty amicable breakup. Basically, she was taking her guy for granted, he was fed up and broke up with her. He didn’t feel like he was what she wanted, he always felt inferior, like his true self wasn’t good enough. She realized the value of what she had as soon as he no longer had it and was desperate to get him back.
She tried her best but he wasn’t budging and it was clear he never would, his mind was set. She started to move on, but every few months he would resurface and text her something that punctured her fragile heart all over again. He would text song lyrics about lost love, and happy memories they shared, or say devastating things like: “I never loved anyone as much as you.” But it’s not because he had a change of heart, it’s because he genuinely missed her and sometimes his emotions would override his better judgment.
Matters of the heart are rarely black and white. It’s not as simple as, “I don’t want to be with you and so I no longer want anything to do with you.” You can recognize that someone isn’t the right person but still miss a lot of things about that person.
3. He wants to hook up…People have needs… sometimes selfish needs. And if you hear from him from time to time and end up hooking up but then don’t hear from him again until he calls you one day and wants to hook up… well then you have your answer as to why he keeps coming back!
This is an easy trap to fall into when it’s a relationship with explosive chemistry but not much else to stand on. Chemistry is important, but it can never compensate for fundamental compatibility.
4. Ego fuel.It feels good to be wanted and desired, very good. And sometimes our egos need that fuel of knowing we can still have something.
I’m sure he has lingering feelings as well, but if he’s reaching out to you mostly to gauge how you feel about him, then he’s most likely just looking for a nice ego-stroking.
5. It’s comfortable.There is comfort in the familiar even if we know the familiar isn’t right for us. Our hearts and minds will always pull us toward the familiar. Most people do the same things every morning, think the same thoughts throughout the day, ascribe the same meanings to events, and feel drawn to the same types of people, usually those who feel familiar and mirror qualities of important figures in our past. We’re creatures of habit.
It’s especially likely he’s coming back out of comfort or familiarity if it was a long-term relationship or if he doesn’t have much else going on in his life and he feels the gaping hole of the space you left behind.
6. He has an avoidant attachment style.Now here’s the tricky thing with people who are avoidantly attached … when you’re there and available, they may feel the need to run or pull away. But as soon as you’re not there, he feels a pull toward you.
If you’re in an on-again-off-again cycle with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it’s possible that he doesn’t really know what he wants or how to manage his needs.
Attachment styles can be managed but it requires emotional maturity to do so. If he breaks up with you when he feels smothered, and comes crawling back when he craves closeness again, then his attachment style is running the show and he needs to get a better grip on it.
It is possible to have a relationship with someone who is avoidantly attached but they need to learn to express what they need instead of shutting you out. He needs to learn to say, “I need some space” instead of ghosting you or breaking up with you when it feels like too much.
7. He still likes you… he just doesn’t like you enough.This is usually the most confusing of all. He has feelings for you, they just aren’t strong enough.
Usually, this happens after a “situationship.” He either ends things or ghosts… you’re devastated, but then he keeps coming back and giving you false hope.
The reason is he does like you… he does find you cool and attractive and fun and interesting… he just doesn’t like you enough to want to be in a relationship with you.
Now let’s talk about what to do if you’re in a situation with a guy who just won’t let you go.
First, instead of being mad that he keeps coming back, ask yourself why you keep allowing it. It’s easy to cut someone out of your life, you can just ignore him or block him. But you’re not doing that. So ask yourself why.
Why are you allowing him to toy with your emotions like this? Why do you still have hope that things can be salvaged?
If you’re allowing him back into your life, he’s most likely scratching an itch or meeting some sort of need, be it a conscious or unconscious one. Get to the root of it.
The fact is, we teach the world how to treat us. If you’re allowing him to treat you as a backup option or as some girl he texts when he’s bored, then you can’t really blame him. He’s only living up to a standard that you’ve set.
Next, ask yourself: do I really want to be with this man?
Sometimes we get caught up in the ego fuel, in the attention, in the drama of it all. That was the case for me with the sweet puppy boy… he was a nice distraction. I was so caught up in trying to get him to like me that I wasn’t really asking whether I wanted to be with him. And deep down I knew it wasn’t going to work with him, I just didn’t want to think about that.
Now if you’ve decided that he is the right man for you, and that you do want to give this another chance… that’s fine, but you need to realize that he also has to be on board in order for that to happen.
And to find out where his head is at, you’re going to have to be a little vulnerable and put yourself out there and say. Say something along the lines of, “Look, I like you and I want to give this a chance” and see what he says.
If you get vague, non-answers, then that’s your answer. Don’t be seduced by the “maybes,” if it’s not a sure thing, then you have to let go and move on… or continue to torture yourself, it’s your life!
You get one life, and if someone is ruining your ability to enjoy that life and they aren’t treating you the way you know you deserve to be treated, then you have to love yourself enough to let them go fully.
Aries Charlie Swan. You need someone to match your confident, decisive energy. Frankly, you both have some serious Daddy Energy despite the gender. The world can’t handle it. Taurus Victoria. You love the idea of someone loving you so much that they’d go scorched Earth just to avenge your untimely demise. Like, crazed killer levels of clinginess. Gemini Bella Swan. You might find it a little annoying to have someone so devoted to you but, on the other hand, at least you know you could completely abandon her for six months while you flit off to Italy and she’ll just be sitting there waiting for you. Cancer Edward Cullen. You’re just the type to find some light stalking romantic. And if you find out he’s been breaking into your bedroom to loom over you while you sleep? You’re a goner. Leo Alice Cullen. No need to tell Alice what you need. She can just touch you to know exactly what way that you want to be spoiled silly. She’s like a walking “grand gesture” in that way. Virgo Esme Cullen. Esme is an amazing woman who seems to be her own person all the while supporting her doctor, coven leader husband. And that’s exactly what you need. She’s the Esme to your Carlisle. Libra Rosalie Hale. Sometimes you just need someone in your life to be overprotective of you and skeptical of absolutely everyone you meet. That way you can leave all the judging to her. Scorpio Jasper Hale. You want your soulmate to be the strong silent type. No worries about prying questions from this guy! Just look to his thousand-yard stare any time you need a little no-contact romance. Sagittarius Emmett Cullen. Emmett’s always down to go on an adventure. He doesn’t need any convincing to do something stupid. He’s got the golden retriever puppy dog energy you love. Capricorn Jacob Black. You want someone who cares about you, but doesn’t mind hanging in the wings a bit while you do your own thing. He’ll be there, just biding his time. Hopefully he won’t fall in love with your baby while you’re not looking. Aquarius Mike Newton. You need someone who will fall for you right away and continue to think he has a chance even when you ignore him. But, you know, without all the obsessiveness like Edward, Jacob, and Bella. That’s where you draw the line. Pisces Carlisle Cullen. You love to be nurtured and taken care of. You’ll pretend to have the flu just so you can have Carlisle come dote over you, just admit it.
On Monday, I went to see The Spectacular Now, which is pretty much the perfect date movie. On top of announcing Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley as the two of the best actors of their generation, the movie pays homage to many of the 80’s movies we grew up on — a big, fat love better to John Hughes. Like Hughes’ work, the movie is filled with great, heartfelt dialogue, which got me thinking about the best lines from John Hughes and his contemporaries, including William Goldman and Nora Ephron.
Without further ado, here are 27 of the best lines about love, romance and life from 80’s movies. Got your own suggestions? Leave them in the comments.
- “I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
– Harry, When Harry Met Sally
- “You said you couldn’t believe in anyone who didn’t believe in you. I believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me.”
– Blaine, Pretty in Pink
- “She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”
– Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything
- “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ’em something else.”
– Jim Baker, Sixteen Candles
- “Maybe I didn’t really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we’re all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it’s not your fault. I’m been thinking about all these things and…you’re probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing: about the letter. Nuke it. Flame it. Destroy it. It hurts me to know it’s out there. Later.”
– Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything
- “No one can stand being alone. The minute you stop thinking there’s someone out there for you, it’s over you know?”
– Keith, Some Kind of Wonderful
- “Never trust a woman who says she isn’t angry.”
– Kevin, St. Elmo’s Fire
- “Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is. And I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice. It ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us. We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die.”
– Ronny, Moonstruck
- “I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that’s gonna love me back. Is that psycho?”
– Jake Ryan, Sixteen Candles
- “I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.”
“Ah, come on. Nothing’s more important than sex.”
“Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?”
– Michael and Sam, The Big Chill
- “First of all, Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. ‘Oh, Debbie. Hi.’ Two, you always call the shots. ‘Kiss me. You won’t regret it.’ Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. ‘Isn’t this great?’ Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. ‘Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.’ And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.”
– Mike, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
- “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did. I’m scared of who I am. And most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”
– Baby Houseman, Dirty Dancing
- “She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”
– Kirby, St. Elmo’s Fire
- “You look good wearing my future.”
– Keith, Some Kind of Wonderful
- “Do you wanna kiss me?”
“Someday.”
“What’s this “someday” shit?”
“Well, it’s just I get the feeling you’ve been kissed a lot, and I’m afraid I’d suffer by comparison.”
– Ariel and Ren, Footloose
- “When you grow up, your heart dies.”
– Allison, The Breakfast Club
- “They’re either married or gay. And if they’re not gay, they’ve just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they’ve just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They’re in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they’re tired of space, but they just can’t commit. Or they want to commit, but they’re afraid to get close. They want to get close, you don’t want to get near them.”
– Meg, The Big Chill
- “Linda, I finally figured it out. I don’t want sex. Anyone can have sex.”
“Yeah, Stacy? What do you want?”
“I want a relationship. I want romance.”
“You want romance? In Ridgemont? We can’t even get cable TV here, Stacy, and you want romance!”
– Linda and Stacy, Fast Times at Ridgemont High
- “You had to be big shots, didn’t you? You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are, not for what you can give them?”
– Lisa, Weird Science
- “‘Someday my wish is for him to hold me in his arms, in a sea of deep blue, together at last, together as two.’ That’s beautiful. I didn’t know you were a poet.”
– Ronald (reading Cindy’s poetry), Can’t Buy Me Love
- “Our love is God. Let’s go get a slushie.”
– J.D., Heathers
- “You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.”
“Yeah and you looks are kind of pretty. When your face isn’t screwing it up.”
– Stef and Mouth, The Goonies
- “There are several quintessential moments in a man’s life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you.”
– Kirby, St. Elmo’s Fire
- “The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.”
– Harry, When Harry Met Sally
- “Cameron has never been in love — at least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, ’cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
– Ferris, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
- “Since the invention of the kiss, there have been only five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.”
– Grandpa, The Princess Bride
- “Nobody thinks it will work, do they?”
“No. You just described every great success story.”
– Lloyd and Diane, Say Anything
Note: That Heathers quote is actually really creepy in context, but if I didn’t find a way to quote Heathers, I would never forgive myself.
Borderlands tanked at the box office, but Hollywood is likely to take the wrong lessons from this experience.
Borderlands came, saw, and a pin drop could be heard in theaters around the globe. Eli Roth’s $100-million+ adaptation of the video game franchise flopped spectacularly at the box office – even having Uwe Boll, the king of bad video game movies, laughing at its failure on X. Well played, Herr Boll! Unquestionably, Borderlands goes down as one of the biggest box office bombs in recent history, and there will be a major inquisition into where it all went wrong here.
Let’s be real, though: Hollywood loves accountability just as much as politicians do. Don’t be surprised to see finger pointing, ludicrous stories about behind-the-scenes troubles on set, and the regular merry-go-round of the blame game surface in the near future. Best brace yourself for all the wrong lessons that Hollywood will learn from the Borderlands fiasco.
It will blame Deadpool & Wolverine for lapping up all the attention and ticket stubsTo be fair, Deadpool & Wolverine rocked this summer’s box office like a hurricane. From the explosive cameos to the positive word-of-mouth appeal, it wouldn’t shock anyone if people watched this three or four times in theaters. However, Borderlands arrived two weeks after the MCU movie’s debut; it wasn’t competing on opening weekend or the week thereafter. In reality, there was enough breathing room for Borderlands to leave its own mark on the box office. Unfortunately, it left nothing more than a paper cut in this instance.
It isn’t Deadpool & Wolverine‘s fault that the audience ran away from Borderlands – or didn’t give two hoots about it. The overwhelming negative reviews ensured this film was dead on arrival since it only confirmed what everyone suspected from the trailers: That it’s a rotten movie. If the executives at Lionsgate Films didn’t see the writing on the wall, that’s on them.
It will blame the source materialLook, Borderlands isn’t Super Mario Bros. or Sonic the Hedgehog. It’s a popular video game franchise, but ask the average person in the street to name any main characters from the series and they’re likely to struggle. In this instance, Borderlands isn’t a global franchise that sells itself based solely on its name. Maybe people might have heard of it before, but the audience needs to be educated about the universe and all its characters.
This responsibility falls slap-bang on the studio – Lionsgate Films. The trailers should have been smarter and introduced the lore better, rather than presume everyone understands what’s going on. In the event that Lionsgate discovered that the project might be too convoluted or complicated for a single film, it should have turned it into a show instead. Look at Fallout as a prime – pardon the pun – example; there’s no way it could have worked as a film, but it shines as a series.
It will hate video game movies all over againIn days gone by, there were three certainties in life: Death, taxes, and video game movies flopping at the box office. Hollywood saw them as cursed pictures that never yielded any rewards for those who dared to invest in them. Here’s the secret, though: The reason they sucked is because studios avoided everything that made these properties appealing to fans in the first place.
So, instead of finding screenwriters and directors who were passionate about these franchises and lores, studios would hire malleable creatives who would bend the knee to the corporate overlords and accept all notes and script amendments as gospel. Somehow, Borderlands smells of the stench of design by committee too, but there’s absolutely no way that the VP of Tomfoolery or the Chief Idea-Killer Officer will own up for their roles in this mess. No, it must be the fault of video game movies being unadaptable and the “toxic” fanbase’s influence, right?
It will continue to pack these movies with more big starsWhile there’s still room for movie stars in showbiz – such as the irrepressible Glen Powell – audiences smartened up to Hollywood’s tricks. No longer do the names on a film poster sell a film; the marketing team needs to work extra hard to convince the viewers to part with their hard-earned money and detach themselves from their couches. Otherwise, the cinema-sepsis known as Movie 43 would have joined the billion-dollar club based on the high profile of the stellar cast alone.
Borderlands loaded the film with everyone from Jamie Lee Curtis to Kevin Hart and Cate Blanchett. On paper, this looks like the event of the summer and an unmissable time at the movies. Unfortunately, there’s nothing the cast can do to save this project from itself. The stars spark, but not enough to create enough warmth for this soulless production.
Hollywood doesn’t like to hear this, though. Studio executives still believe that the power of the movie star compels us to watch, no matter how awful or unappealing something looks. Prepare to see them double down and include more big names in future video game movies as a way to sell them to the viewers.
Hollywood will think AI is the solution to every problemOh, everyone better believe it. These studio executives are itching at the prospect of only paying for AI subscriptions instead of forking out cash to writers and animators for creating movies. Every current box office bomb is seen as a human error that could have been entirely avoided. They believe that algorithms and artificial intelligence reveal what audiences want to see and that’s where they should focus all their time and attention. The best part? It’ll be cheaper to produce, baby!
Here’s the thing, though: AI scrapes for data and information to learn from. Once there are no more writers, artists, or creatives to suck the juices out of, what happens? It starts to spit out derivative and boring results that showcase the personality of a Norwegian mushroom. As it stands, there’s already a dearth of creativity in Hollywood as execs follow the money – not passion (case in point: Borderlands). The reliance on AI will only make matters worse, as potential algorithmic plagues like 2 Border 2 Lands or Borderlands vs. Doom: The Dawn of FPS become the standard moving forward. May the gods of film help us all.
Somewhere in a smoky room filled with only male friends, Olivia Wilde is heaving a sigh of relief. At long last, Don’t Worry Darling is not the only recent mediocre romantic drama to be recognized more for its cast drama than its actual content. She has Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds to thank for that.
By piecing together various reports, it’s possible to perceive a “feud” between Lively and her It Ends With Us director Justin Baldoni. The two have avoided doing press together and even snubbed each other at their film’s New York premiere, seemingly refusing to be in the same room. Moreover, sources have since come forward to acknowledge that there was, indeed, tension on set during filming. Of course, there are always three sides to every story; and yet, Lively has received the brunt of the negative press.
But before we delve into that, let’s revisit some other actor-director feuds that have rocked Hollywood in the past. I will also determine the definitive winner of each feud.
Don’t Worry Darling (2022)Warner Bros.The feud: Director Olivia Wilde wasn’t very supportive of her female lead, Florence Pugh; she even dubbed her “Miss Flo” behind her back. That’s not a great leadership strategy. In return, Pugh snubbed Wilde on social media and generally avoided promoting Wilde’s movie. Also, Harry Styles may or may not have spit on Chris Pine.
What the actual movie was about: Feminism, or something?
Who won: Florence Pugh. She’s a lot busier than Wilde these days.
I Heart Huckabees (2004)Fox SearchlightThe feud: The famously mercurial David O. Russell felt that comedy legend Lily Tomlin was not giving a performance worthy of his vision, and thus proceeded to verbally berate her, even calling her a bitch and, at one point, hurling props at a crew member. The video leaked to the press, causing an Internet uproar in an age before TikTok and Twitter. The pair later publicly downplayed the incident, despite never working together again.
What the actual movie was about: Huckabees and the people who heart them, I think
Who won: Lily Tomlin. She never lost her likeability and later scored a hit with Grace and Frankie alongside Jane Fonda.
Transformers (2007)Paramount PicturesThe feud: In an otherwise innocuous interview, Megan Fox called her Transformers director Michael Bay “Hitler” for acting like an “insane” “tyrant” on set. He responded by rallying his entire crew to publish an open letter calling Fox a “trailer trash” “porn star.” Finally, Bay fired Fox from all future Transformers films.
What the actual movie was about: A group of robots become sentient and decide to host a regular fight club in an attempt to imbue their lives with meaning. I mean … right? I haven’t actually seen this movie.
Who won: No one, not even the viewing public. These days, Bay is unsuccessfully making a career pivot into action comedies. Fox is publishing her teenage diaries under the guise of poetry.
The Shining (1980)Warner Bros.The feud: Director Stanley Kubrick verbally abused his star Shelley Duvall on an almost daily basis and forced her to reshoot scenes dozens of times for no discernible reason. Duvall later told the film critic Roger Ebert that the filming process was “unbearable.”
What the actual movie was about: This is the only movie in this listicle I’ve actually seen, but I still couldn’t tell you what it’s about. Creepy twins? And murder.
Who won: Duvall, but years later. Sadly, this feud happened at a time when people were even less kind to women. However, decades later, Internet sleuths eventually revisited Kubrick’s poor behavior on The Shining and gave Duvall the redemption that she deserved.
It Ends With Us (2024)Sony PicturesThe feud: In addition to the details we’ve already discussed, this movie has culminated in a slew of bad press for Lively. Apparently, Lively and her husband Ryan Reynolds tried to take over the creative direction of the movie, seemingly butting heads with director Justin Baldoni along the way. Additionally, Lively has seemingly used the movie’s press cycle as an opportunity to hock her personal brand and haircare line, despite her movie being about sexual abuse. Oh, and this old interview with Lively just resurfaced, in which Lively snarkily argues with her interviewer after zero provocation.
What the actual movie was about: A topic that very much should not have been overshadowed by a discussion about baby bumps and hair care lines.
Who won: Baldoni. I’ll call it now. Lively and Reynolds have had their time in the sun. Now it’s time for them to check their egos and launch a charity or a joint Etsy or something. That is, until the next mediocre romantic drama with a buzzy actor-director feud comes around! And judging by this list, there will be many more.
Sometimes it’s time to break up with a partner who is mistreating you. Here are the three signs you need to do so immediately.
There’s a presence of any kind of verbal or emotional abuse. If they’re calling you names, dishing out covert put-downs, withdrawing affection to punish you, making you feel deflated during happy moments, hypercriticizing you, gaslighting you, lashing out at you when envious, or stonewalling you during important conversations – it’s time to break up (and create a safety plan for doing so in more volatile situations to protect yourself). Do you think your true partner in this life would ever go out of their way to make you feel small? A true partner would nourish and support you. They would be your safe haven – not a danger zone.
They’re disrespecting you on social media and in real life.Social media isn’t just social media. It’s a highly public platform. It can amplify your joy and exacerbate your stress. It’s also one of the first signs of someone’s true motives: a narcissistic partner, for example, uses social media to evoke jealousy in their partners. They provoke jealousy on purpose for power and control according to research. If your partner is disrespecting you on social media, they are disrespecting you, period. You are not insecure or “crazy,” you are intuitive, discerning, and recognize the red flags. There are higher quality men out there who won’t be busy sliding into the DMs of other people or following suspicious accounts, or posting suspicious stories that seem to reference your relationship in a way that invades privacy. Ask yourself: why would a healthy partner ever need to seek validation from numerous prospects? They wouldn’t. Someone’s wandering eye doesn’t just stop at social media – it can escalate into greater betrayals. If they’re willing to pursue cheap attention online, there’s nothing stopping them from doing it offline. Cut your losses and realize it’s only going to get worse from here.
They show a lack of empathy. If they’re kicking you down when you’re already vulnerable, you’re dating a sadist, not a healthy partner. If they’re cruel and callous when you’re facing trauma, stress, or medical emergencies, they are actively making your stress worse. If they’re not celebrating with you when you’re achieving big things, they’ll detract from your success and everything you were meant to be. This is not the behavior of someone who has the capacity to love you or anyone else in a healthy way.
Last week, Netflix’s Emily In Paris starring Lily Collins premiered the first iteration of its two-part fourth season. In a mere five episodes, the Netflix Original Series reminded viewers why they can’t stop watching it: it’s v #cringe. Not so demure or mindful, as the kids are saying. But mostly, Emily In Paris is a perfect opportunity to engage in hate-watching.
As defined by Merriam-Webster, the verb “hate-watch” means “to watch and take pleasure in laughing at or criticizing,” in regards to a movie or TV show. And boy, does Emily In Paris deliver plenty of opportunities to cackle.
Let’s be real, shall we? The show is absolutely ridiculous. Emily’s weird outfit choices despite working in fashion (?), love triangles, horrible dialogue, avoidable work drama. I could keep going but you know what I’m talking about. Emily In Paris really scratches a hater’s itch.
And if a hater’s gon’ hate, hate, hate, hate, hate then the show is gonna keep on play, play, playing. (Sorry.) But really, despite it being objectively, uh, terrible, Emily In Paris is by all metrics a success.
Even though the response to Emily’s antics during its first run in 2020 was some of the worst ever received for a show’s launch, the series still managed to receive 60 million viewers during its first month on Netflix.
And now, the first installment of the show’s fourth season garnered almost 20 million views already, making it Netflix’s most-watched series this week.
Okay, if it’s so bad, then why can’t people stop tuning in? That’s where our silly little brains come into play!
One study published by the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General in 2017 found that when we experience feelings we seek out, even ones that are considered negative like dislike or hatred, we end up feeling happier. (Maybe that’s why I listen to sad music when I’m sad just to feel even sadder, but I digress.)
From an evolutionary perspective, the intense emotional arousal from strong emotions such as hatred can elicit our fight-or-flight response, helping us protect ourselves from threats or harm.
But given the fact watching Emily do something stupid 85 times in a single episode isn’t actually going to hurt us, those fear-based responses we’d normally have actually don’t happen. Instead, our brains produce “happy” hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, or serotonin. This is why hate-watching can feel so good.
On a social level, hate-watching also brings us together. Research has even shown that anti-fandoms actually create a stronger base for community than fandoms. This is probably why it feels so good when you find out your friend hates the same person you do!
Whatever the motives for watching Emily In Paris or other “bad” shows and movies may be, the psychology has spoken. Being a hater can be good for you. Now, go forth and hate!
I have been writing about relationships and giving relationship advice for over a decade now, which is kind of surreal and makes me feel very old.
One thing I hear again and again is: I wish someone told me this sooner!
No one prepares us for navigating dating and relationships. They don’t include that in the high-school curriculum. It’s pretty much trial and error and trying not to get too burned in the process.
People always ask me where I get my ideas and inspiration from… and for the most part, I”m writing to my younger self… fortunately, there are many many people out there who relate to her!
So here are the most life-changing pieces of relationship advice I wish I knew sooner:
- Choose wisely.Your relationship success is basically determined before you even enter into the relationship. It starts with who you choose.
I used to be the classic stereotype of the girl who only wants the guys she can’t have and is turned off by those desperately in love with her.
And time and time again I was left utterly baffled as to why things never worked out for me. Why did they never want me like I wanted them? Why did it never get past a certain point? Why did I always feel so powerless in my relationships?
Oh right, I’m only going after emotionally unavailable guys who are incapable of giving more than measly scraps, and I’m taking those scraps and seeing them through rose-colored glasses and exaggerating the bare minimum effort and turning it into some grand romantic gesture thus deluding myself into believing the relationship is more significant than it is, and then I’m left shattered when the inevitable happens even though the writing was on the wall in bright red ink the entire time! Silly me!
But seriously, choice is everything. You can’t choose a loser and expect him to transform into a winner. Yes, you might be the most amazing woman he has ever been privileged to know, but it will not be enough to save him or change him or fix him or whatever it is you hope to achieve here. You have to see a situation for what it is and focus only on the truth about who he is … and not on how sexy he is or how funny he can be or how hot the sex is. Focus on what matters, and these things aren’t what set the foundation for a lasting, loving relationship!
If you want a serious relationship, choose a guy who wants the same thing. If you have certain values, choose a guy who shares those values. If you want to start a family in the near future, choose a guy who also wants that.
Love isn’t enough to conquer incompatibility and emotional baggage. You have a choice when it comes to who you want to be with, and that choice gives you power. Use it wisely!
- What are you bringing to the table?I’m gonna tell you something that may be hard to hear- but you need to ask yourself what you’re bringing to the table here.
You want this amazing guy who is confident and has it together and is kind and smart and funny and 6’4 with a thick head of hair, but what are you offering him?
Like attracts like- if you are insecure and emotionally unavailable, that is what you attract. But wait a minute, I’m not emotionally unavailable, I want a relationship more than anything! Well, if you’re insecure and using a relationship to fill a void, then you are unavailable because that behavior is coming from a place of deep down fearing you’re not good enough, and the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right so you will be drawn to people who treat you like you’re not enough.
If you want that amazing, emotionally healthy partner, you need to be on the same wavelength. Focus more on turning yourself into what it us you want… rather than outsourcing the job and thinking you’ll become who you want to be when you meet the right person.
- Stressing ruins relationships.Another thing I find myself saying over and over again when presented with a relationship problem is: stop stressing!
Seriously, why do we do this to ourselves?
We’re so worried about the relationship that we can’t be in the relationship. I totally get it, though. The fears are real. What if he doesn’t like me as much as I like him? What if he isn’t serious about me? What if he’s a liar like my ex? What if he cheats on me? What if he finds someone better?
You think hitting certain milestones will keep the crazies away, but that doesn’t work either. Maybe you think as soon as he calls you his girlfriend you’ll be able to relax. Then he makes it “official” but you worry about him having second thoughts or changing his mind. Then you think you’ll feel better as soon as he says “I love you,” and that works for a little… until he goes a few days without saying it and you wonder if he totally changed his mind. Then it’s as soon as you move in together or get engaged .. there is always an as soon as and there is always a new thing to stress over. Stop all of it!
It gets you nowhere. All you’re doing is feeding your own insecurities and giving them more strength and power over you. Also, it doesn’t feel good to be around a stressed-out person. It creates a negative vibe that’s just off-putting and even the most emotionally clueless man will be able to pick up on it … and that is what will actually stop your relationship from progressing.
Try to relax and just be in the moment. And when you start to worry and stress, calmly and gently remind yourself that you will be OK no matter what. You can handle it. And if you can handle it and you’ll be OK… then what is there to stress over?
- You can’t win them all.This is probably the toughest lesson to learn, but so important for your sanity and self-esteem.
So let’s say you’re seeing a guy and you fall hard and fast. He is everything you’ve ever wanted, he literally checks every box. You can’t help but get excited about the possibilities … but then he ends things. He just doesn’t think you’re right for him, he feels like something is missing, he thinks you’re great but now just isn’t a good time. And you are crushed beyond belief. You mentally go back in time analyzing everything about the relationship to figure out what you did wrong. Why weren’t you enough?
You are enough. You’re plenty. You just weren’t the right girl for him and that’s OK because not everyone is a match. You make a mess for yourself when you take it personally because it really isn’t personal. Just like I’m sure you’ve dated wonderful guys who were crazy about you and you just didn’t feel the same. It’s not that they were horribly flawed, it just wasn’t right.
All you can do is work on being your best self. You’ll never be perfect because that’s impossible, but you can work on refining who you are, on tackling your insecurities, and on healing from your old wounds and hurts. This is all you have control over.
The key to inner peace is taking 100% responsibility for what’s under your control and relinquishing 100% responsibility for what isn’t under your control.
- Your vibe matters more than your looks.Yes, looks matter. No, they don’t matter as much as you think.
Your vibe determines so much more when it comes to how people respond to you and how much success you have in your relationships. And the good news is your vibe is totally under your control!
It’s about managing your mood and not letting yourself be overcome by anxious thoughts and negativity. It may feel like you have no control, but that’s not the case. You can control the thoughts you allow to enter your mind and your thoughts control how you feel.
If you engage with negative thoughts, they will keep coming at you, putting you in an anxious and worried state. If you can keep those thoughts away and only allow positive thoughts to penetrate, your entire life will change, not to mention your relationships.
One of the most important things to understand about men when it comes to relationships is that men move toward what feels good. When it feels good to be around you, he wants to be around you. That’s really all it takes to get a man to commit and invest in you and the relationship.
- Good relationships don’t always feel good.Here’s the thing that no one really tells you: good relationships don’t always feel all that good…but it’s not for the same reason bad relationships don’t feel good.
Bad relationships are the ones filled with all the drama. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. When I say “bad relationship,” I mean everything from a toxic, codependent situation, to a relationship with a man who won’t commit in a significant way, to a match that is simply incompatible.
But in a good relationship…a relationship where you’re on the same page, when you aren’t waiting anxiously for the next text, a relationship where wondering if he likes you just seems ridiculous because you know exactly how he feels…well, those are the relationships that bring you face to face with who you truly are.
Sometimes they will bring out the best in you because we all have inherent goodness within us. And sometimes they will bring out the worst in you because a lot of us have been burned or are holding on to traumas from the past that we didn’t even realize were still buried within us.
Sometimes there will be nothing wrong in the relationship but you will feel sad or anxious or upset. You won’t be able to blame this on the fact that he didn’t call or text or that you’re not his girlfriend or he hasn’t said “I love you” because he never leaves you hanging… he was proud to call you his girlfriend…he adores you and you know he does. The feelings aren’t coming from him, they’re coming from you. If you’ve been hurt in the past, this feeling of unease is your deep-seated trust issues. If you can’t seem to trust that he’ll be there for you, then out come the fears of abandonment.
There’s this idea that in the right relationship, everything will just be perfect. He’ll be the other half of your soul, you’ll reach a level of happiness you never knew existed, and you’ll feel secure and comfortable and confident. A good relationship can give you these things for sure, but not on its own. It has to start from within. If you don’t already feel good, if you still have issues to work through, if you have a void within, you will never fully be able to trust him, you will never truly feel “good enough.” No matter how many sweet things he says or does, you will never be able to give and receive love freely.
When we’re single, we’re often unaware of the work that needs to be done because those parts of us that are hurt and need to be healed don’t get accessed. Or maybe we do know but think the right guy will make it all better. Love forces you to face yourself. Love brings up all that is unloved within us. And you can’t hide who you are when you are in a good, loving relationship. Instead, you are forced to face it and deal with it. Your partner will always reflect back who you really are (and vice versa). And everything that happens will be much more emotionally significant.
Love isn’t meant to make you happy, it’s meant to make you grow.
I’ve seen High Fidelity probably hundreds of times–yes, I’ve read the book, Hornby rules–and each time I’m reassured that it is, in fact, the most accurate reflection of pop culture and love of our time.John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies. RobDick: I guess it looks as if you’re reorganizing your records. What is this though? Chronological?
Rob: No…
Dick: Not alphabetical…
Rob: Nope…
Dick: What?
Rob: Autobiographical.
Dick: No fucking way.What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music? RobI agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like… Books, records, films – these things matter. Call me shallow but it’s the fuckin’ truth, and by this measure I was having one of the best dates of my life. RobPenny was great looking and her top five recording artists were Carly Simon, Carole King, James Taylor, Cat Stevens and Elton John. RobIf you really wanted to screw me up, you should’ve gotten to me earlier. RobWe’re no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We’re on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. BarryRob: Just c’mon. What would it mean to you, that sentence – “I haven’t seen Evil Dead II, yet”?
Barry: Well, to me it would mean you were a liar. You’ve seen it twice: once with Laura – Oops! – and once with me and Dick, remember? We had that conversation about the guy making Beretta shotgun ammunition offscreen in the 14th century.Hey, I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m certainly not the dumbest. I mean, I’ve read books like “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” and “Love in the Time of Cholera”, and I think I’ve understood them. They’re about girls, right? Just kidding. But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash’s autobiography “Cash” by Johnny Cash. RobOh, that’s not obvious enough Rob. How about the Beatles? Or fucking… fucking Beethoven? Side one, Track one of the Fifth Symphony… How can someone with no interest in music own a record store? BarryI lost it. I lost it all- faith, dignity… about 15 pounds. RobDon’t tell anyone you don’t own “Blonde on Blonde”. It’s gonna be okay. BarrySome people never got over Vietnam or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never got over Charlie. RobRob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.
Laura: No, it’s really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records.
Rob: Made. Made. Marvin Gaye is dead. His father shot him.Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. RobCharlie, you fucking bitch. Let’s work it out. RobI get by because of the people who make a special effort to shop here – mostly young men – who spend all their time looking for deleted Smith singles and original, not rereleased – underlined – Frank Zappa albums. Fetish properties are not unlike porn. I’d feel guilty taking their money, if I wasn’t… well… kinda one of them. RobLaura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
Rob: No. I only have a few left, I’ve been saving them for later.
Laura: Right. It’ll have to be sex, then.
Rob: Right. Right.Barry: Holy shit. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It’s the new Belle and Sebastian…
Rob: It’s a record we’ve been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that’s unfortunate, because it sucks ass.She didn’t make me miserable, or anxious, or ill at ease. You know, it sounds boring, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t spectacular either. It was just good. But really good. BarryRob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the ’80s and ’90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away? BarryBarry: OK, buddy, uh, I was just tryin’ to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care.
Rob: I don’t wanna hear old sad bastard music, Barry, I just want something I can ignore.
Barry: Here’s the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for you… special.
Rob: Well, it’s fuckin’ Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier!Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition. RobAnd If I want to find the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the fall of 1983 pile, but didn’t give it to them for personal reasons. RobI can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and… I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that’s suicide. By tiny, tiny increments. RobCustomer: Hi, do you have the song “I Just Called To Say I Love You?” It’s for my daughter’s birthday.
Barry: Yea we have it.
Customer: Great, Great, can I have it?
Barry: No, no, you can’t.
Customer: Why not?
Barry: Well, it’s sentimental tacky crap. Do we look like the kind of store that sells I Just Called to Say I Love You? Go to the mall.I could’ve wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn’t be sleeping with a person, you’d be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture. It’d be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren’t Rocky. RobRob: Barry, you’re over 30 years old. You owe it to yourself, to your friends, to your parents, NOT to play in a band called Sonic Death Monkey!
Barry: I owe it to myself to go RIGHT to the edge, Rob! And this band does exactly that. Over the edge, in fact!Customer: Do you have Soul?
Rob: That all depends.
Here are three of the best romantic comedy screenplays of all time.
- When Harry Met Sally (1989)When Harry Met Sally is a classic for a reason. The screenplay is pure perfection. Written by Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally is ranked 15 on Writers Guild of America West’s 101 Funniest Screenplays.
There are many reasons why When Harry Met Sally works so well. For starters, the casting was just perfect. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan were made to play Harry and Sally.
But the real power is the movie’s screenplay. As Nicholas Barber at BCC writes, “But the film’s true innovation is the way its director, Rob Reiner, and screenwriter, Nora Ephron, strip away the characters’ biographical details, just as they clear away all the obstacles on their path to happiness. Everything is removed from the film except Harry and Sally’s attitudes towards love, sex, friendship and each other. The result is a romantic comedy distilled to its essence: it has romance and it has comedy, and it has nothing else.”
The simple formula worked like a charm. The screenplay is proof that, at times, keeping things simple are ultimately what make the most profound, lasting impact.
- The Big Sick (2017)Amazon StudiosEmily V. Gordon and her husband comedian Kumail Nanjiani wrote the screenplay for The Big Sick. Co-produced by Judd Apatow, the screenplay is loosely based on Gordan and Nanjiani’s real life love story.
While some of the events in the film were not true to real-life events, the screenplay is excellent. In fact, it was even nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.
- Something’s Gotta Give (2003)Something’s Gotta Give | IMDbSomething’s Gotta Give starring Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson is a rom com about a soon-to-be senior citizen Harry (Nicholson), a swinger who notoriously dates younger women, falling in love with accomplished Erica (Keaton), a woman closer in age.
Written, produced, and directed by the amazing Nancy Meyers, Something’s Gotta Give is loved for the fact that its leading actors are much older than the age of those typically cast for romantic movies, defying ageism that is rampant in Hollywood.
While some may argue that the plot of Something’s Gotta Give is extremely predictable, those who do enjoy it would say that the film has fantastic dialogue and structure thanks to the movie’s clever screenplay.
The OfficeEveryone’s rainy day fav show-within-a-show The Office was supposed to be about a “real” documentary being made about an everyday paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania. One of the big draws of the series was that it did seem real. We saw Jim and Dwight and Pam and were reminded of the absurdity of our own commonplace work lives — with one exception. The series aired from 2005-2013, in the midsts of the works recession in modern American history, and yet as we witnessed, the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin paper company seemed to thrive, always performing well compared to their struggling counterparts. A new fan theory may explain why.
As Reddit user shublamblam explains: “No one really understand how the Scranton branch is doing so well. Not even Michael, or David. My theory is that the camera crew realizes how funny they are and if they turn this into a T.V show they will make millions of dollars. So they invest money to keep the branch alive. They buy loads of paper to keep the branch going thus keep the show going.”
This theory explains why in the middle of such a bad recession (not to mention the increasing move from paper to digital), a paper company was able to not only stay open, but increase sales. The production company filming Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton employees knew they’d found a special crew, and they did whatever it would take to keep them all together. This is money well spent because as we see at the very end of The Office, the documentary they made goes on to be a huge hit with viewers.
The OfficeThe theory makes sense — it wouldn’t be too difficult to call up Dunder Mifflin and order increasing amounts of paper from a few different dummy corporations. The trick would be to request Andy as your salesman so Jim or Dwight (who actually would do due diligence and like, google your company) wouldn’t try to show up at your door. Easy enough!
Blake Lively has understandably gained the scrutiny of the internet for her insensitive and tactless marketing of her and Justin Baldoni’s new film, “It Ends With Us,” a movie centered on domestic violence. Her marketing, which consisted of taglines like “Grab your friends and wear your florals!” and the promotion of her new hair care and alcohol line alongside her promotion for the film revealed to people that she may lack some necessary empathy or understanding for the serious topic of domestic abuse. However, this scrutiny for her press of the movie has now opened up a whole Pandora’s box of previously problematic behaviors you may not know she engaged in. Here are some dark moments from Blake’s past and present you likely don’t know about which will make you take a double take.
Her and her husband Ryan Reynolds got married on a plantation in 2012 and she published an antebellum era lifestyle magazine in 2014 even after she apologized for it. Yes, you read that right. What should have been a romantic wedding was placed on grounds where horrific crimes against humanity were committed. Blake and Ryan apologized for having her wedding on a plantation, noting, “What we saw at the time was a wedding venue on Pinterest. What we saw after was a place built upon devastating tragedy,” but contradicted their apology when Blake later published an antebellum themed magazine called Preserve which seemed to celebrate an era of slavery and oppression. This goes beyond tone-deaf and some may wonder if it is rooted in malice and racism.
She body-shamed an interviewer who congratulated her on her pregnancy and accused the reporter of sexism while hypocritically promoting a Woody Allen movie. This is a particular interview you may have heard of already, but for those who haven’t, prepare to be shocked and outraged. A 2016 interview of Blake Lively has recently been exposed of reporter Kjersti Flaa telling Blake, “Congratulations on your little bump,” with sincere kindness and Blake snarkily responding, “Congratulations on your little bump,” pointedly gesturing toward the reporter’s stomach. The reporter laughed nervously, likely in shock and tried to ask other questions, only to be deliberately stonewalled by Blake and her co-star who made mean, pointed comments directed at her. Not only was the reporter not pregnant, she later confirmed she actually can’t have kids, so the comment hit her like a “bullet.” On the other hand, Blake’s pregnancy had been well known by the time of the interview so there was clearly no malice or assumptions intended from the reporter’s end. Blake then went on to ignore the interviewer and speak snidely to her co-star Parker Posey instead, who also eventually joined in on the disrespectful stonewalling. When the reporter, who is an established fashion journalist, proceeded to ask about clothing in the movie, Blake began making backhanded comments to her co-star about whether men were asked these questions, perhaps trying to gain a “Scarlett Johansson” feminism moment when in reality the reporter’s expertise resides in fashion, and she had every right to ask about it.
She and her husband Ryan have a strange relationship and may have started out as an emotional affair at the very least. Rumors persist that she has a tendency to go after married men or men in relationships on set. Most people don’t know that Blake’s current husband Ryan Reynolds was actually married to actress Scarlett Johannson when he first met Blake (who was also in a relationship with television show star Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl and You) on the set of the movie Green Lantern when filming took place during 2010. Two years later, Blake and Ryan were married. The timeline is a bit suspicious, although the two insist they were just friends when filming, while others claim they definitely saw the pair flirting and being close during that time. Even more shockingly, a series of “blind items,” or unconfirmed rumors have established a pattern of Hollywood “insiders” claiming that Blake Lively has often flirted with and gone after married men she works on movies with, including her rumored affair with Ben Affleck while he was married to Jennifer Garner. Considering it has been confirmed that Ben Affleck has cheated on his wife with other people, it would not be surprising if that particular rumor turned out to be true, and it would make sense of Blake Lively was a culprit of partner poaching, considering her other toxic and pick-me behaviors (for example, she sometimes blames women “jokingly” when asked questions by interviewers).
She accused Justin Baldoni of body-shaming her when he wanted to know her weight to prevent exacerbating his back injury. People wondered why Justin Baldoni was nowhere near Blake Lively and other cast members during the premiere of It Ends With Us. TMZ reported that Blake apparently believed Justin lingered too long on a kiss during a movie scene and “fat-shamed” her when he asked their trainer how much she weighed to prevent exacerbating an existing back injury during a scene where he was supposed to lift her up. While we don’t know if the kiss allegation has merit (it may be true, it may not, we have no way of confirming at this time), considering the snarky way she handled a reporter congratulating her baby bump and who she also body-shamed, it’s very possible that her allegation of Justin fat-shaming her was at the very least dubious.
She exhibited a laissez-faire attitude when another interviewer asked her what she would do if domestic violence victims wanted to connect with her. In another cringe-worthy interview, when Blake was asked what she would tell survivors of domestic violence who wanted to connect with her further on the topic, Blake sarcastically replied, “Are they like, asking for my address, my phone number or like my location share?” in a condescending fashion. Jesus. Show some compassion, Blake.
She said the movie she couldn’t stop laughing through was Shawshank Redemption. In a now viral TikTok, we found out that a past interview of Blake included the question, “What is the movie you laughed the hardest through?” With no hint of sarcasm whatsoever, Blake replied without a beat, “Shawshank Redemption.” Let’s just say this movie is nowhere near a comedy and has plotlines no sane person would ever laugh at: it’s a harrowing prison drama about a man who goes to prison for murdering his wife and her extramarital lover. Was she really cackling excessively like Lily Bloom on the rooftop with Ryle in It Ends With Us while watching The Shawshank Redemption? If not sadistic, it’s just plain weird. Much like the problematic way she marketed It Ends With Us, Blake Lively continues to raise some serious red flags, but she’s been raising them for quite a long time. We just haven’t been paying attention.
Is it love? Or is it manipulation and mind games? Here are five signs your partner may be playing twisted psychological games to keep you focused on them and to have more power and control over you.
They blow hot and cold, love bombing you one minute and withdrawing the next.You initially felt like you met your soulmate, yet now you feel caught in the chaos of a toxic relationship. They first mirrored you, making you feel like you two were destined to meet – now they bring destruction to your life by mistreating you. Unpredictable love creates an addiction in the brain, moreso than even the craving we develop when experiencing stable love. You start becoming fixated on them, wondering what they’re thinking and doing. This kind of “frustration-attraction” we develop with hot and cold partners is why we find it so difficult to detox from people we know are toxic for us. If your partner is love bombing you one minute, showering you with flattery and praise, only to withhold affection and attention the next, it’s not because you’re truly in love. It’s because you’re experiencing an emotional rollercoaster that’s affecting your craving for the next dopamine fix.
They take pleasure in making you jealous.You’re dating someone new, and they start mentioning their ex. Or your current partner keeps mentioning how many people have crushes on them. Sound familiar? They may be using a mind game known as jealousy induction to pit you against potential love prospects and get you to compete over them. Usually, such a method is transparent enough to make you detach quickly, but other times, this manipulation can be far more insidious. It’s the “girl best friend” who seems suspiciously flirty that you feel you can’t call out, or a co-worker who they insist is just platonic. They seem to take joy in making you squirm and creating a competition for their attention because it makes them feel valuable. These manufactured love triangles are meant to destabilize you. Take heed and trust your instincts.
They “neg” you with backhanded compliments designed to make you feel insecure.Healthy relationships will make you feel secure. You will feel assured of your irreplaceability and lovability in a healthy relationship. With a narcissistic or otherwise toxic person who is playing mind games, however, you will be made to feel off-kilter and on edge. Even when they’re complimenting you, they may be negging you by minimizing or detracting from their praise. For example, they may say they love your dress and that you’re “brave” for wearing it, implying there’s something wrong with your outfit. These negs are usually targeted toward partners they know are out of their league in order to make you more dependent on their validation and approval. By lowering your perceived value, they get to feel superior in a way they otherwise wouldn’t.
You never know where you stand in the relationship and find yourself walking on eggshells.A person who plays mind games will make you feel like a girlfriend or boyfriend, but will hide under the, “I don’t do labels” manipulation tactic to avoid commitment. Or they might come on very strongly in the beginning, only to withdraw as soon as they’ve gotten what they’ve wanted (usually sex, but sometimes an ego stroke or just attention in general). Instead of just pursuing partners who want a more casual relationship just like them, they will deliberately exploit you and enjoy your romantic affection without any obligations. That’s because they don’t want someone who just wants sex from them: they want someone who feeds their ego. They want to come and go as they please from your life, while leaving you attached to them and pining for them. They get a special thrill and duping delight from having other people “commit” to them and remain loyal to them while they are off running around doing whatever they desire.
Attempts at holding them accountable lead to diversion tactics meant to confuse and disorient you.When you try to have a productive discussion with a toxic person about where this relationship is going, they’re likely to stonewall you by shutting down the conversation or by gaslighting you into believing you’re going crazy. You are blamed for bringing up any issues in the relationship at all and are inevitably silenced. This isn’t healthy love: this is emotional abuse. You deserve better than mixed signals and mind games. You deserve respect, safety, and security.
1. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.” ~ Moulin Rouge
2. “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” ~ When Harry Met Sally
3. “To me, you are perfect” ~ Love Actually
4. “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” ~ The Notebook
5. “You had me at Hello” ~ Jerry Maguire
6. “The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.” ~ The Silver Linings Playbook
7. “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” ~ Notting Hill
8. “I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly.” ~ You’ve Got Mail
9. “Here’s looking at you kid.” ~ Casablanca
10. “It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other.” ~ Good Will Hunting
11. “You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” ~ Gone With The Wind
12. “You make me want to be a better man.” ~ As Good As It Gets
13. “I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.” ~ The Vow
14. “It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together … and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home. .. only to no home I’d ever known … I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like … magic.” ~ Sleepless in Seattle
15. “It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” ~ The Fault In Our Stars
16. “It’s like in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together.” ~ Serendipity
17. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you.” ~ Pride & Prejudice
18. “They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true.” ~ Big Fish
19. ” I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder.” ~ The Perks of Being a Wallflower
20. “In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.” ~ Juno
21. “You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.” ~ Sweet Home Alabama
22. “Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with?” ~ Meet Joe Black
23. “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” ~ The Notebook
24. “Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy.” ~ My Best Friend’s Wedding
25. “Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away.” ~ Hitch
26. “Everything I have ever done, I’ve done for you.” ~ Great Expectations
27. “I love you very much, probably more than anybody could love another person.” ~ 50 First Dates
28. “What I really want to do with my life — what I want to do for a living — is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.” ~ Say Anything
29. “I’ve come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours.” ~ Sense & Sensibility
30. “I wish I had done everything on earth with you” ~ The Great Gatsby.
The rarest personality type is INFJ (standing for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging) and is estimated to make up 1-2% of the population. The Myers-Briggs personality type indicator test (MBTI) may have fallen under scrutiny in the past few years, but psychologists who have analyzed the criticism assert that it is not any less valid or reliable than any other personality test. Interestingly, many INFJs share stories of being targeted by narcissistic individuals. Here are three reasons why they may be susceptible to narcissistic romantic partners and friends.
They have profound empathy and are introspective, making them susceptible to gaslighting and exploitation by emotional manipulators. However, narcissists tend to underestimate their sharp intuition and heightened ability to identify and discern patterns of behavior. The INFJ is a Myers-Briggs personality type that is associated with tremendous levels of compassion, introspection, conscientiousness, and diplomacy. The INFJ’s dynamic combination of empathy, intelligence, humor, talents, and rich inner world can make them unforgettable friends and partners, ones who go out of their way to make others happy and who offer a profound, life-changing presence. INFJs often make great leaders and are usually self-reflective and sensitive to the point where they intimately understand the desires, needs, and goals of others and seek to meet them. They can lead revolutions for social change and are equipped with the determination and exquisite thoughtfulness that can change humanity for the better. These strengths unfortunately also make them a natural target for narcissistic people who wish to exploit them. Narcissistic individuals look for empathic people to take advantage of because they know they can appeal to these people with pity ploys and shallow emotional displays of love bombing.
When someone is as introspective as an INFJ is, they usually look within to see if there are behaviors they can improve on rather than automatically blaming someone for their behavior, making the INFJ more susceptible to self-blame and gaslighting. Or so narcissists think. In reality, an INFJ is also gifted with a sharp intuition and with the ability to recognize and identify complex patterns of behavior. They are always analyzing others, even if they don’t share their analyses, so manipulators often assume the INFJ is taking what they’re saying at face value when the reality is that the INFJ is engaging in complicated “algorithms” considering every scenario, outcome, and possibility behind the scenes based on their observations and recognition of patterns!
So long as they ground their empathy with discernment, INFJs are able to pick up on the micro-signals of narcissistic behaviors and traits in a person long before the average person, giving them an advantage at holding these people accountable, blowing the whistle on predatory types and freeing themselves from toxic relationships early on. This intuition is also what allows them to help humanity, leading the masses into the greater good by understanding the patterns and cycles of history so history doesn’t repeat itself. Their main challenge is to listen to their instincts carefully and not fall prey to gaslighting or mistake love-bombing as the ideal form of love they’ve always been searching for.
Despite their sharp intuition, INFJs are the ultimate romantics and may be prone to mistaking love bombing as ideal love and wolves in sheep’s clothing as the perfect partner they’ve always been looking for. This allows the narcissist to “isolate” the INFJ into a cult-like relationship. Speaking of love bombing, many INFJs are usually in the pursuit of finding an ideal love most of their lives. They have very high standards and expectations for themselves and of others when it comes to relationships and friendships, even though they have keen insights into human nature other types may not have. Paradoxically, this can make them what I like to call the “skeptical romantic” – one who is deeply romantic at heart, but also extremely skeptical of other human beings because of their knowledge and intuition regarding the true motives of others and can see beyond the masks people wear. It’s no wonder that when charismatic narcissistic manipulators swoop in by mirroring their traits, desires, and interests or showering them with constant affection and excessive attention as love bombers often do, INFJs feel tempted to trust in these manipulators because such love bombing represents the “soulmate” love they’ve always been searching for – a partner who can fulfill them not just physically, but also intellectually, emotionally, or even spiritually.
Because INFJs are so different, unique, and distinct from others, they tend to be quite selective about the people they surround themselves with, keeping a smaller circle of friends who meet their needs: this tendency can easily turn into the ability to become easily isolated if they’re not careful, and can be dangerous if manipulators weaponize this quality against INFJs to create a “cult-like” relationship, creating a “us versus them” mentality against friends and family who want to support the INFJ. Many INFJs are still heavily on guard around people, distrusting, and can see love bombing from a mile away. Yet even those INFJs may still fall prey to this manipulation tactic especially during difficult times in their lives because they want to believe such “perfect” partners exist and have an idealized view of what love and romance should look like. This is the INFJ’s perfectionism at work when it comes to assessing others. Deep down, some INFJs may want a “rescuer” who will make them feel less alone in a world where they often feel alienated, even if they intuitively sense that their knight in shining armor dressed as a soulmate may just be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
While it’s understandable that an INFJ would be more selective with who they choose to surround themselves with in a world that tends to shun their gifts and positive qualities, or scapegoats them out of envy, INFJs may benefit from expanding their social circles so they have connections with different types of people (so long as these people are not toxic and they are able to set healthy boundaries), so they can prevent manipulators from further isolating them in abusive relationships. Although more shallow connections usually turn off the INFJ, it’s okay to diversify the friendship portfolio. Not everyone has to be a deep, profound connection to benefit your life. Even just the presence of “acquaintance-like” support can be helpful so INFJs do not feel as alone and feel like they have other options besides the narcissist for emotional nourishment and sharing the pleasures of everyday life with. They can also strengthen their connections with and build community with other like-minded individuals and similarly typed empathic people, like INFPs.
The INFJ is generous, multifaceted, gifted, and the jack of all trades, which means they embody a rare combination of traits and have many internal resources to share with others. Narcissists target such types because they see them as more of a rewarding challenge to “cage” the “rare bird” and use the INFJ for their intellect, talents, and gifts to short-circuit their own success.Narcissists understand that the INFJ has many capabilities, talents, insights, and skills, and they “use” the INFJ to bolster their own image and success. An INFJ’s creative ingenuity, natural talents, and intellect can make them appealing to narcissists who want to imitate them or copy them and reap the rewards of what comes to INFJs naturally by parroting the INFJ’s personality. They want to “mimic” what makes an INFJ so unique, to gain the same type of success and impact. They also want to use the INFJ’s empathic presence as social proof that, they too, are compassionate beings. What better way than to lure INFJs into a close romantic relationship or friendship, so they can really “observe” what makes the INFJ tick and essentially “steal” that personality and try to emulate such gifts for themselves, and make use of the INFJ’s vast internal resources?
Since INFJs are naturally such generous partners, they will often go overboard in “giving” to the narcissist, sharing creative ideas, performing vast emotional labor to elevate the narcissist’s confidence, making suggestions on how their partners can improve their lives and effectively pursue their goals, and ultimately helping their narcissistic partners succeed in ways they otherwise wouldn’t. Unfortunately, such generosity is not usually reciprocated in the way an INFJ deserves, and narcissists tend to exploit INFJs partners to boost their own success, all while taking the credit. The key for INFJs is to “re-center” themselves and prioritize themselves in relationships. They must use their special gifts to elevate themselves and humanity, not narcissistic manipulators.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, the INFJ is a living, breathing paradox. They can take on seemingly contradictory hobbies and interests, master many different talents and trades, and their personality can be like a melting pot of traits and qualities that frankly don’t always make sense to the average outsider observing them. They are the intellectual comedians, the extroverted introverts, the reason-based artists of society. They are both rational and emotional, spiritual and scientific. They are also trendsetters because they possess the intuition to understand what will make an impact ten steps ahead of anyone else. One minute, they’re delivering a polished dissertation on the downfall of human nature and making predictions about the next ten years that inevitably come to fruition, and another minute, they’re cracking an irreverent joke that shocks and amuses onlookers. It’s no wonder narcissists are also attracted to this type – they can just steal their ideas, take advantage of the INFJ’s insights, copy their jokes and stories and imitate their intellect go gain favor in the world without doing the hard work themselves.
While they are selective about who they keep in their circle, INFJs can pretty much connect with anyone on many different levels and have the potential to leave a huge impact on this world with their natural gifts. They must reserve their empathy, generosity, and skill sets for those who truly deserve it. If you have been in a toxic relationship with a narcissist regardless of your personality type, it is important to remember you did not deserve their mistreatment, and it was never your fault. You deserve to shine brightly and pursue healthy, loving relationships without being exploited and you deserve to heal from toxic people.
You wanna know what the real problem with modern TV is? If you want to watch everything that’s amazing and critically acclaimed, you have to sign up for a half dozen–or more–different streaming services. And that can get pricey. Well, if you’ve been holding out on AMC shows because you didn’t want to add to your monthly bills, you’re in luck. Some of the best AMC shows are now on Netflix starting August 19, 2024. These are the gems you shouldn’t miss:
- A Discovery of Witches (Seasons 1 – 3) for witchy vampire romance based on the acclaimed series of novels by Deborah Harkness.
- Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches (Season 1) for another witchy series based on a series, because you can never have just one.
- Dark Winds (Seasons 1 – 2) feature two Navajo detectives solving grisly murders in the 1970s.
- Fear the Walking Dead (Seasons 1 – 8) following hopeful survivors clawing their way through Los Angeles at the very start of the zombie apocalypse.
- Interview with the Vampire (Season 1) for a reimagining of Anne Rice’s hit series of sexy Cajun vampire novels.
- Into the Badlands (Season 1 – 3) for a genre-bending martial arts series about a warrior and a boy on a rough journey.
- Kevin Can FK Himself (Season 1 – 2)** to watch Annie Murphy hilariously break all the sitcom conventions as well see the zany genre through the wife’s eyes.
- Monsieur Spade (Season 1) for Clive Owen as a retired private eye thrust back into the game after a series of nun murders.
- Preacher (Seasons 1 – 4) for a preacher wholly unhappy with all the toil of God’s world, on a mission to find god with his sassy ex and an Irish vampire.
- That Dirty Black Bag (Season 1) for a western cowboy clash between a dusty sheriff and a blood-thirsty bounty hunter.
- The Terror (Season 1) for a fictionalized imagining of what must have happened to the real lost arctic expedition of the 1800s, based on the novel by Dan Simmons.
- The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon (Season 1) following everyone’s favorite zombie slayer as he mysteriously wakes up on the shores of France.
And if you’re still unsure what to watch, check out our list of the best AMC shows of all time.
Jaw-breaking uppercuts. Rib-cracking roundhouse kicks. Ear-piercing explosions. Fear-striking struts. Quick-tongued comebacks and snappy one-liners. Regarding high-octane action movies, the men of Tinseltown make up the majority of the cinematic space. Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone and Tom Cruise and Vin Diesel and Dwayne Jonson and Jatham Statham and Jackie Chan and Daniel Craig and Liam Neeson and Chuck Norris and Keanu Reeves and Matt Damon and Wark Wahlberg…you get the idea. It’s a never-ending list of testosterone-driven macho men with a penchant and proclivity for no-hold-barred brawls. That being said, a handful of women take on such fisticuff-leaning characters with fervor and ferocity.
So, let’s dive into actresses who take on combat-ready courageous characters with cutthroat conviction. The female actors who portray those willing to challenge Zoro in a sword fight. The heroines and antiheroines who will set a corrupt corporation ablaze while walking away with a couple of bruises, a tear in their jeans, and a blood-stained t-shirt.
Note: The primary list will highlight actresses whose action-hero legacies exist beyond a singular movie or film franchise.
Angelina Jolie From the fearless and resourceful Lara Croft — who calculates just as fast as she combats — to the lethal, adaptable, and charismatic Jane Smith, Jolie has portrayed a handful of characters adept in hand-to-hand combat and loaded with an arsenal full of weaponry —crossbows, pistols, shotguns, combat knives, grenades, and more —that she wields with acumen. She has also played the likes of skilled and enigmatic spy Evelyn Salt, the maternal and protective Mistress of Evil Maleficent, the cool and calm marksman Fox in Wanted, and voiced the fan-favorite Tigris in Kung-Fu Panda.
Jolie’s heroes often boast an unwavering degree of confidence and an air of nonchalance. They are proud and polished. Relentless and driven. They also tend to be a bit mysterious — as to coincide with her dark features and angular bone structure. At the end of the day, her high-octane characters match her aesthetic intensity.
Jodie Foster Who could forget Jodie Foster in Flightplan? Driven by an unwavering maternal instinct and sharp yet unstable mind, she portrays a grieving widow whose daughter disappears on a plane. With those around her determined to make her think she is losing her mind, she must combat both intellectual manipulation and physical threats. She exquisitely captures the balance between vulnerability and resiliency. Doubt and determination. Fear and ferocity. From using a fire extinguisher as an improvised weapon and contorting her body to climb into tiny spaces to employing a calculative and resourceful approach to investigation, she uncovers the mystery at the center via mental and physical superiority over the antagonists. She played a badass mother a few years prior in Panic Room, combining protective tendencies and intuition with top-notch problem-solving skills.
Foster notably took home the Oscar for her take on Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs. She deftly conveyed the doubts and insecurities of an FBI trainee with a difficult childhood as well as the grown, strong-footed, and hyper-fixated disposition of a woman undaunted.
Foster’s badass heroines tend to be a mix of vulnerable and courageous. Broken yet brazen. She’s best when taking on a fighter who is not driven by ego or some clandestine assignment but by personal and emotionally stirring catalysts. She’s unparalleled when the head must overcome the heart to get the job done.
Milla Jovovich If talking about Milla Jovovich’s badassery, we must start with her take on Alice in the Resident Evil franchise. Alice is a former security operative who becomes a relentless warrior fighting against hordes of zombies. She is beyond resilient — jumping back from intense physical altercations with an uncanny and unbridled degree of strength. She will not rest until all the undead are gone.
She is independent and skilled in hand-to-hand combat, as are many action heroes, but her willingness to operate in the gray moral zone works in her favor, as she defies the traditional hero stereotype akin to a Marvel or DC character. Her motivations also shift throughout the franchise’s many installments. From what starts as a quest for identity and revenge becomes a drive to protect survivors and uncover the truth about a global pandemic.
Outside Alice, Jovovich has also portrayed the martial artist Leeloo in The Fifth Element, the needs-no-introduction Joan of Arc during the Hundred Years War in The Messenger: The Joan of Arc Story, and the genetically-enhanced warrior Ultraviolet. Her heroes often boast complex motivations that evolve over time and an assertive attitude that is unwavering in the face of powerful adversaries.
Uma Thurman “It’s mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality,” Uma Thurman says as The Bride in Kill Bill: Vol 1. The Bride, or Beatrix Kiddo, is easily Thurman’s best-known ass-kicking character, as she slays her various opponents with a Samurai sword that measures 37⅞”. And just as she self-describes, she is a ruthless assassin lacking a single shred of empathy. Those around her continue to underestimate her, as she takes them down in a ritualistic fashion that is strategic and unclouded by emotional influences. Remorseless and callous. Left for dead on her wedding day by Bill and the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, no word better describes her murderous vendetta than vengeful. She is an adaptable Martial Arts expert boasting lightning-fast reflexes — almost beyond human in nature — and unconventional tactics like the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique and swordplay with a broken blade.
Thurman also played the seductive and fiery, manipulative and cunning Poison Ivy in the campy splendor Batman Returns. Here, she is psychologically deceptive, exploiting the male ego to gain an upper hand.
She also voiced Emma Peel in the ‘90s animated series The Avengers, portrayed the complex supporting character The Baroness in Gattaca, and, of course, mesmerized viewers with the captivating and confident Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction.
Michelle Yeoh Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Tomorrow Never Dies. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. The Long Kiss Goodnight. Reign of Assassins. Everything Everywhere All at Once. From a warrior with expertise in Wudang-style Martial Arts to a secret agent who partners with James Bond, an immortal sorceress, and an elite assassin, Yeoh has portrayed the gamut of tough, skilled, and strategic heroes and villains.
Whether fighting for good or evil, Yeoh’s characters always boast combat chops. Her cinematic portfolio is filled to the brim with hand-to-hand combat experts, as well as those beyond proficient with weaponry (or even magical powers). This list would not be complete without the woman who has been kicking ass on the big screen for decades and ultimately took the Oscar for the high-octane-fueled Everything Everywhere All at Once.
Charlize Theron If there’s any actress out there who isn’t afraid to get their hands a little dirty, their hair shrouded in dirt and shrapnel, their knees covered in bruises and scars, their lips inflamed and dripping with blood, it’s Charlize Theron.
From the intense physicality required of her to play Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road and Lorraine Broughton in Atomic Blonde to the acrobatic acumen of Aeon Flux and the leadership qualities of Andy in The Old Guard, Theron’s badasses are often no-nonsense warriors who, though skilled in combat, take a few hits and wind up on their ass every now and again.
Theron is also adept at playing ass-kickers who can assemble and lead a group of warriors. She has that shoulders-back disposition and impending stature — standing at 5’10” tall — that effortlessly demands respect and obedience. She is a formidable presence in the action space, nimbly balancing emotionally-wrought climaxes with seemingly never-ending fight sequences.
Halle Berry Mess with Ororo Munroe and face the storm…literally. Halle Berry portrayed the X-Men character Storm in four different X-Men installments and always maintained a fiercely protective nature. She is selfless and driven to protect those who cannot defend themselves. Yet, she is also intelligent and forward-thinking enough to know when a fight calls for conversation rather than combat. She is an empathetic and strong leader who, rather than many ass-kickers on this list, is not heartless nor vengeful, but driven to fight her by compassion and desire for peace between mankind and mutantkind.
Halle Berry also portrayed Patience Phillips in the critically condemned yet now campy cult classic Catwoman. In this film, she is rebellious and resourceful, seductive as a strategy, independent, and morally gray. Clad in tight black leather and adorned with diamond nails, she portrayed the acrobatic vigilante with both physical prowess and justice-seeking depth…even if some lines are a bit, well, over the top and theatrical.
Berry also portrayed skilled NSA agent Jinx Johnson in Die Another Day, hacker Ginger Knowles in Swordfish, mother scorned Molly Woods in Kidnap, and historied assassin Sofia in John Wick: Chapter 3.
Honorable Mentions: * Sigourney Weaver: Ellen Ripley in Alien, Dr. Grace Augustine in the Avatar films, and Joan Leaven in Cube. * Scarlett Johansson: Black Widow in the Avengers franchise, Lucy in Lucy, and Major Motoko Kusanagi in Ghost in the Shell. * Jennifer Lopez: Detective Harlee Santos in Shades of Blue, Karen Sisko in Out of Sight, Slim Hiller in Enough, Charlie in Money Train, Darcy in Shotgun Wedding, and Terri Flores in Anaconda. * Kate Beckinsale: Selene in the Underworld franchise, Anne Valerious in Van Helsing, and Celine in Total Recall. * Linda Hamilton: Sarah Connor in the Terminator films. * Carrie-Anne Moss: Trinity in The Matrix series. * Jennifer Lawrence: Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games series, Mystique in X-Men: First Class, Days of Future Past, Apocalypse, and Dark Phoenix. * Zoe Saldana: Gamora in the Guardians of the Galaxy series and Neytiri in Avatar films.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the four behaviors that indicate a narcissist is envious and jealous of you.
Benign envy and malicious envy are two very different emotional and behavioral states that lead to different outcomes. In benign envy, a person who feels envious or jealous of another person uses that jealousy constructively to fuel their own goals. In malicious envy, a person who is jealous or envious goes out of their way to deliberately undermine someone else’s success in an attempt to belittle and diminish them and “one-up” them to gain power and control. Research reveals that people who have narcissistic and psychopathic traits engage in malicious envy – envy that is destructive and aggressive. Here are four subtle behaviors you may notice if a narcissist is jealous or envious of you.
They underhandedly sabotage you and place barriers on your path to success. Perhaps the clearest sign that a narcissist is envious of you is when they try to prevent you from succeeding by placing obstacles in your path to success. If you have a track record of high performance or are pursuing goals outside of them that threaten their ego, they will seek to regain control to diminish you. For example, a narcissistic husband may prevent his wife from pursuing higher education and attempt to micromanage and control her finances, so she is unable to have the resources to leave him. A narcissistic wife may belittle her husband’s career because she wants him dependent on her approval and always working harder to earn more and please her while she leeches off his resources. A narcissistic co-worker might try to highlight their own achievements while hiding your accomplishments which surpass theirs, in an attempt to gain favor with superiors. Or a narcissistic parent might verbally abuse their children, so they never feel good enough to pursue their ambitions and free themselves from the parent’s control. This is malicious envy to deter you from your goals in action.
They “neg” you and covertly demean you so you’re less confident about yourself. Negging consists of any backhanded comments to disorient you and “humble” you into believing you fall short in some capacity. It is a malignant dating strategy often used by male pick-up artists to make women more compliant to their romantic advances, and unfortunately, it is occasionally effective when weaponized by narcissists to lower your confidence and self-worth, especially if used frequently over time. If a narcissist perceives you to be out of their league in any way, whether it be in appearance, success, talents, personality, popularity, the romantic attention you receive or all of the above, they will seek to lower your perceived value and raise their own perceived value by minimizing and detracting from your assets and positive qualities. For example, when you disclose to a narcissist on a date that you are pursuing your PhD, they may immediately say something like, “Are those degrees worth anything these days? I mean, just wondering,” in a tone of faux innocence to covertly undermine your achievements. Or, if a narcissist is jealous of the attention you get from strangers and other romantic prospects, they might start making cruel “teasing” comments about the way you dress or your makeup in an effort to make you stop dressing up, in the hopes you get less attention. They might say, “You look even better without makeup, not sure why you’re trying to put all that on your face” or if you’re wearing a flattering dress, “Wearing that dress is brave of you. Try something simpler!” These are all attempts to subtly motivate you to change your usual behaviors so you don’t threaten their grandiose self-perception or evoke their insecurities.
They try to pit you against other people, and other people against you, setting up “competitions” to vie for their attention and approval.Narcissists and psychopaths are not at peace unless they’re manufacturing chaos. They sadistically derive pleasure and excitement from watching people turn against one another by planting seeds of distrust, suspicion, paranoia, and doubt among the people closest to them, whether they be romantic partners, exes, friends, family members, colleagues, or even acquaintances who are the chosen scapegoats of their envy. Research reveals that they provoke jealousy on purpose for power and control, to exact revenge, test the relationship or in cases of vulnerable narcissism and the second subtype of psychopathy, to compensate for their own insecurities. That is why a narcissistic partner may constantly talk about their ex (in both loving and demeaning ways) to manufacture love triangles to get you to compete for them. That is why a narcissistic friend may gossip about you to your mutual friends and spread rumors, all while engaging in hurt-and-rescue tactics and pretending to “comfort” you when you discover these smear campaigns. That is why narcissistic employees might try to get themselves or one of their cronies promoted rather than create a true meritocracy where the most high-achieving and talented workers are rewarded, all while trying to sabotage you so you don’t climb the corporate ladder. It is all a way for them to stroke their own grandiose ego and attempt to make you feel inferior because they know you surpass them. Otherwise, they would not have to try so hard to sabotage you or demean you.
They constantly move the goal posts and hypercriticize and nitpick you, so you never feel “enough” no matter what you do.Hypercriticism and moving the goal posts are manipulation tactics that help ensure that an envious narcissist controls your focus. If you’re too focused on trying to gain their approval, you will stay less focused on how to take care of yourself or detach from the relationship. Let’s say a narcissistic dating partner told you that you don’t have what takes to be a singer, even though you’ve won many singing competitions, because they are jealous of your natural talent. Or a narcissistic spouse tells you to lose weight, even though you’re already a size two. When you do lose the weight unnecessarily or start entering even more challenging singing competitions to prove them wrong, they’ll start to nitpick and hypercriticize other parts of you or even make comparisons between you and other people to gaslight you and make you feel small. This is a game you simply cannot win, because the goal posts are arbitrary and will always change. You are far better off validating yourself, finding people who honor and celebrate your wins, and see you for the remarkable person you are, valuing and appreciating you as you deserve. If you are in a relationship with a hypercritical narcissist, the manipulation and mistreatment you experienced were never your fault. You deserve to healthy relationships, and you deserve to heal from toxic people.
Built like an action hero but with the brain of a comedian, it’s time to admit that John Cena is the new king of comedy in Hollywood.
Let’s get an important fact out of the way: Paul Feig’s Jackpot! stinks. The middling movie forgets to pack the laughs for the occasion, with the only shining chuckle in this painful experience being John Cena’s Noel, who plays a freelance Lottery protection agent keeping a close eye on Awkwafina’s Katie. Cena’s ability to light up average or bad movies should come as no surprise, though. It’s becoming par for the course when it comes to the former WWE Champion, as he establishes himself as one of the funniest actors working in Hollywood. Sure, he possesses a physique fashioned by the same god of stone who chiseled out Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s muscles and he looks like the archetype of an ’80s action star, but Cena stands out when he leans more into the fun – not the gun.
Why is John Cena so funny?With a history in bodybuilding, John Cena signed up with the WWE (then known as the WWF – sorry, pandas) in the early 2000s. Initially, while in the developmental territory known as Ohio Valley Wrestling, he performed under the alias of the Prototype, presenting himself as the perfect specimen in the ring. When he made his way onto the main roster, though, he didn’t have a gimmick to speak of – apart from being the new guy who wanted to prove himself against the legends. He faltered and many feared he would become lost in the shuffle as a result of his failure to connect with the crowd. This all changed when he debuted the Doctor of Thuganomics gimmick where he’d freestyle rap before matches and destroy his opponents with absolute zingers and disses. From there, he never looked back as he soared to the top of the pro wrestling industry then jumped to Hollywood.
Why does this story matter? Well, Cena’s rapping gimmick isn’t really a gimmick. Turns out he holds the ability to come up with wicked lines on the spot and when the WWE discovered his unpublicized talent on a bus trip, the promotion knew he was money. This skill also demonstrates how comfortable Cena is in the uncomfortable. Much like comedy, freestyling isn’t easy. It involves the ability to pivot on the spot and to have an instant awareness of what does and doesn’t work in a split second. Cena carries this over into the world of performance, as he’s able to read a room like a total pro to determine how to get the right reaction or to improvise when necessary. Like all good comedians, he knows it isn’t only in the delivery of a line but also in his body language. Thanks to his larger-than-life physical appearance, he’s able to use it to enhance a gag if he needs to – much like Arnold Schwarzenegger did in his forays into comedies such as Junior and Twins.
Cena’s acting career skyrocketed when he switched from straight-up action to comedyConsidering John Cena’s reputation as a championship wrestler in the squared circle, it’s understandable why film studios envisioned him as the next big action star. Brawny, square-jawed, and able to throw people around like they’re paper cups, he would be the Cannon Group’s wet dream in the ’80s. His first ventures into the genre didn’t fare too badly either, as The Marine and 12 Rounds developed cult followings and received several sequels.
Yet, the limit remained clear here: Cena would be a B-movie action star if he stayed on this trajectory. Maybe a few supporting roles in bigger productions would materialize, but direct-to-DVD or streaming would be the ceiling for his career as a leading man.
Trainwreck / Universal PicturesIn 2015, Cena changed direction, appearing in three notable comedies: Trainwreck, Sisters, and Daddy’s Home. Appearing alongside established comedians such as Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, and Will Ferrell didn’t faze him. In fact, he more than held his own, receiving praise from the audiences for being genuinely funny. Surprisingly, the magic came mostly from Cena as Schumer revealed in a Trainwreck featurette: “I did not write most of his lines. John Cena, he blew our minds.”
It was a lightbulb moment for casting directors, as offers for studio comedies, such as Blockers and Playing with Fire, rolled in for him. He completed his transformation from a hulking action star to hulking funnyman who isn’t afraid to say outrageous things to garner a laugh or two. As Freelance director Pierre Morel told the Bleacher Report: “John Cena, who we all know and who I knew as that massive beast of a man with an amazing physique – he’s hilarious. He’s a comedian. He’s a natural-born entertainer.”
‘Peacemaker’ cemented his ability to elevate a production and ‘Jackpot!’ confirms itDespite 2021’s The Suicide Squad receiving glowing reviews from critics and fans, not a single person cried out for John Cena’s Peacemaker to have his own solo show. After all, this character wears what looks like an upside-down toilet on his head and he’s D-list at best in the comic books. So, why in the flying Kryptonian would anyone want to watch a show centered around this guy?
What no one expected was for Peacemaker to be so darn funny that it produces Cena-like abs for those who watch it. It isn’t only about cape shenanigans; it’s about the madcap Christopher Smith who has absolutely no credentials or right to be a hero, but somehow redeems himself in the end. Is Peacemaker revolutionary television or the best superhero show of all time? Not a chance. But thanks to Cena’s unflinching performance and desire to embrace the ridiculous nature of it all, it’s unmissable entertainment. The fact that everything DC received a reboot around this period, but Peacemaker managed to survive for a second season speaks volumes about the star power of Cena (though it helps that the showrunner James Gunn is now the co-CEO of DC Studios).
Cena yields similar results in Jackpot! While his performance alone might not be enough to get a sequel greenlit, his brand of physical comedy and commitment to get weird elevates the material to heights it never deserved in the first place. It’s the mark of a good comedian, really. Much like in the squared circle, not every production will receive five stars or be remembered as an all-timer. That said, it’s possible for someone to be committed and still entertain others. So, you know John Cena’s whole “You can’t see me” shtick? It needs to be retired now, because everyone is starting to see him as one of the funniest and most entertaining actors in Hollywood.
If you’ve been dumped, it’s natural to want to make him regret his decision.
I’m assuming you want to make him regret leaving you because you want him back. Or maybe you want him to suffer a little bit, fair enough. I get where your head’s at.
Missing someone isn’t enough of a reason to get back together. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons don’t disappear because you miss each other. If you try to make him miss you, it may work to get him back, but you’ll probably end up breaking up again shortly after.
I’m going to tell you how to make him regret leaving you, and it just so happens that doing these things will help you get to a stronger, more empowered place overall, a place where you’re ready for an emotionally healthy relationship, either with the ex or someone else.
1. Follow the no-contact rule.This is a must whether you want him back or you want to get over him. You must cut off all contact. No calls, no texts, no snaps, no staging accidental run-ins, and I’ll also add no creeping on his social media accounts even though that doesn’t technically count as contact because it has the same damaging effect.
Studies have found that continuing contact with an ex can disrupt emotional recovery. So you basically cause yourself to be stuck in the same vulnerable, miserable place.
A breakup can cause a lot of confusing emotions and you’re not exactly using your best judgment during this time. You need time and space to detox from it all.
Your impulse control is way down after a breakup, which can cause you to do things that sabotage your chances of getting what you truly want, which is to get your ex back (or maybe to move on completely). You may act unhinged or needy or desperate, and this may make him feel even more sure he doesn’t want to get back together. This will also jackhammer your self-esteem into the ground. This is not what we want here.
2. Give him what he wants.Does he want a breakup? Great, give it to him!
Sometimes it takes a whopping dose of giving someone what they think they want in order to make them realize they don’t want it.
He broke up with you…OK, now you’re not in his life anymore. Now he can feel what that really means. He can’t experience the pain of your absence unless you are absent.
He’s not going to expect you to just let it go. He probably will expect you to chase him, he’ll expect to be able to get you back as soon as he wants you, he thinks he’ll continue hearing from you, and he most likely doesn’t think this is so final.
Don’t let him be so sure of these convictions!
Don’t go where you aren’t wanted. You are worth more than that. And please don’t try to stay friends with him, this never ends well!
3. Move on.After a breakup, you shouldn’t ask, “How can I get him back?” You shouldn’t even ask the title of this article: “How can I make him regret leaving me?”
The question you should be asking is: How can I move on from this?
It feels counterintuitive if you want him, and whenever I give this advice to my coaching clients I can see the immediate resistance on their faces. I’m trying to get him back and she’s telling me to move on?! But it must be done.
You have to remember you can live without him. You have to get back in touch with yourself, remember you? I bet you lost a lot of yourself in this relationship… the end of a relationship can absolutely swallow you whole. So check in with you- how are you doing? What is it you need? You’ve spent so long thinking about him and his needs and his feelings… what about you?
Is it possible to get him back? Yes, but that can only happen further down the line when you’ve both worked on yourselves and are emotionally healthy enough to repair what broke the first time in the relationship. If not, then history is just going to repeat itself.
4. Get strong again.A relationship on the decline can deplete you. Your time away from him is the equivalent of a can of spinach for Pop-Eye, it will help make you strong again.
Become someone stronger than who that relationship made you. Find your inner power. Find your power of choice- do you really choose him? Or do you just want him because it’s easy and comfortable and you already know him and you’d rather go back to something familiar and comfortable even if the familiar isn’t what’s best for you because starting over is just so daunting?
If you don’t find your inner power, you will just be at his mercy and will cave in whenever he wants to see you. You may put up with bad behavior because you’re scared of rocking the boat and ruining your chances of getting him back. This may lead you to a toxic on-again off-again relationship. Be stronger so you can make better choices for yourself.
5. Don’t take him back.I’m not saying you can’t get him back and make it work a second time, it’s definitely possible (I mean, I married an ex!). But it will not be different unless something is different!
Change takes time and work and reflection and insight. You broke up because it was broken, broken things don’t magically repair themselves. Both people need to be committed to fixing whatever broke. Both people need to work independently on themselves and together as a unit.
So if he comes back… don’t be so quick to give in. Don’t run and see him whenever he beckons. Don’t answer his texts in the middle of the night. Don’t be a starving puppy panting at his heels, waiting for any scrap of affection he’s willing to spare. This will not make you feel good about yourself, it will only make things worse.
I promise you are not always going to feel the way you do right now. You will not always miss him so intensely. You will one day be able to envision a better, brighter future for yourself that doesn’t include him. One day you will look back and realize this was for the best. One day you will realize that this shaped you in immeasurable ways. It will all make sense eventually. And the sooner you can let this go and reconcile with what is, the sooner you will free yourself and can move on and be happy.
Despite the box office success of It Ends With Us, the last couple of weeks have not exactly been the best for Blake Lively’s reputation.
The executive producer and star of the film adaptation of the popular Colleen Hoover novel has been criticized for her behavior on the movie’s press tour, particularly in the way Lively has been marketing It Ends With Us.
Despite the heavy subject matter of domestic violence, Lively has presented the movie as a chick flick. “Grab your friends and wear your florals!” Lively says in one promotional clip of the film:
I hate to disagree with Blake Lively, but I have to on this one.
I don’t suggest to “grab your friends and wear your florals” to see #ItEndsWithUs.
🧵 pic.twitter.com/nquzm3C9AF
— Kaitlyn Sanchez (@KaitlynMSanchez) August 13, 2024
Lively has also been using the press tour to promote her new hair care line and her cocktail company Betty Booze. It’s all tone deaf at best and self-absorbed at worst. Or, honestly, probably a bit of both.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Blake Lively (@blakelively)
In comparison to Lively’s questionable marketing choices, the movie’s director Justin Baldoni’s approach to promoting the movie has been far different.
Baldoni has used the press tour as an opportunity to put survivors and victims of DV at the front and center. In a red carpet interview, Baldoni stresses the importance of raising awareness about domestic violence as well as providing resources to those who need help.
Baldoni’s production company Wayfarer also partnered with the No More Foundation to give resources and education on domestic and sexual violence, further cementing his commitment to empowering survivors and victims of DV.
@entertainmenttonight Justin Baldoni made ‘It Ends With Us’ for the Lily Blooms 💗 #justinbaldoni #itendswithus #lilybloom#blakelively #colleenhoover
♬ original sound – Entertainment Tonight – Entertainment Tonight
The starkly different approaches to promoting their movie punctuates the rumored feud between Lively and Baldoni even more. Reports of creative differences apparently made working on the movie difficult to say the least.
However, some of the most damning instances for Lively has been in the way she has handled interviews and questions about the movie’s themes.
In one clip, when asked about how she would respond to a fan who saw themselves in her character Lily Bloom in It Ends With Us and was moved by the film on a “deeply personal level.” Her reply?
“Do you mean, like, asking for my address, or my phone number, or location share? I could just location-share you!”
Watching Blake Lively, The Plantation Princess, be so flip and cruel about victims of domestic violence is really something.
You could have just learned the names of one or two resources for DV victims and said you’d guide them to those resources. pic.twitter.com/WHiCxLdKQ5
— Cooper (@Cooperstreaming) August 14, 2024
Yikes, girlie.
Anyway, Lively’s detached, unkind demeanor came as no surprise to Norwegian interviewer Kjersti Flaa. Last week, Flaa uploaded a 2016 interview with Lively.
Lively was promoting Café Society along with her costar Parker Posey. The four-minute exchange is…something else.
Flaa titled the YouTube video “The Blake Lively interview that made me want to quit my job.” In the video’s caption, Flaa writes, “Sitting down with Blake Lively and her co star Parker Posey for Cafe Society (2016) is the most uncomfortable interview situation I have ever experienced.”
From mocking Flaa to essentially ignoring her entirely, it gives major mean girl energy and complete unprofessionalism.
Watch the interview below:
“I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”
The OfficeI know, I know. The internet has been buzzing about The Office for a while now. With the show’s debut in 2005, The Office quickly became a television hit as well as an iconic piece of comedy. Not to mention its idiosyncratic film style, which combines a documentary style with frequent talking heads. Most important, however, is the authenticity of the show—moments when the audience laughs and cries in common sympathy. And despite the drab setting of a small commercial office, the writers of The Office have really managed to pull out a lot of material and impart some significant wisdom in the process. So here are five things I learned from The Office:
1. Love takes time. The best example of this is Jim and Pam. They experience a lot of waiting on both sides, with Pam’s engagement to Roy, Jim’s relationship with Karen, and even Pam’s time in art school. Their marriage is no perfect picture either, but they understand that despite the difficulties, love only gets stronger and better with time.
2. You just gotta put up with shit sometimes. One of my most favorite episodes is when Stanley rebels against Michael by lashing out, “Did I stutter?” (Season 4, Episode 16). Michael gets real with him and lets him know that even though he may be a pain to work with, Stanley has to put up with it for the sake of respect for the manager. And that is a known lesson to all members of the Office as they put up with Michael’s constant shenanigans out of courtesy cause sometimes, you just gotta deal with it.
3. You take care of the people you work with. The Office is filled with kind deeds. The members of the office help Michael with his wedding proposal to Holly, Jim throws Dwight the best bachelor party, Jim prevents Dwight from getting fired at his Florida job, Pam gives Michael advice on Holly, the list goes on and on. The point is, problems roll over into the work place and the people around you should be there to help you through it.
4. Sometimes you take detours. And that’s okay. When Andy returns for the panel discussion in the finale, everyone gives him hugs of sympathy and tries to tiptoe around his fragile ego. However, Andy makes a comeback by showing up as Cornell’s commencement speaker, his core saying: “Oh, I could totally just sit here and cry!” Andy took a few detours on his way to the final episode. And other characters sympathize with this as people like Erin and Angela took a few detours until reaching those they love (Pete and Dwight). But those detours are part of the journey and if you wait long enough, happiness won’t be too far away.
5. You aren’t always treated the way you deserve. Throughout the show, Dwight is mistreated by Michael, even going so far as to do his laundry for him and watering the plants in the office at night. Despite this, Dwight knows what he deserves and relies on his sales record to promote him… one day, some day. He makes mistakes (shooting a gun in the office) and he gives up sometimes (looking at job ads at work), but he perseveres in the end, eventually becoming the manager he always dreamed to be. Michael experiences his own setbacks as well, eventually quitting his job out of anger at David Wallace, saying, “I deserve better.”
The internet was right to go crazy about this show. Not only is it beautiful in its humor, but also in its simplicity. There is something special about “ordinary things” because we find there are universal lessons everywhere.
Some ‘Harry Potter’ fans on Ask Reddit have questions about the film.
1. They are able to literally grow bones back from nothing but can’t fix Harry’s eyesight so he doesn’t need glasses.
2. Wizards don’t understand things like phones, muggle clothes, or muggle money.
They live in a place where 99% of the population is muggles. You would think they would pick up some basic understanding.
3. Quidditch. Scoring a goal is 10 points. Catching the Snitch is 150. There would have to be a massive imbalance in Chaser skill level between two teams for the Snitch to not decide a game.
4. They don’t listen to any muggle music. Some of them grew up with muggles, so they should be into it. Same goes for TV shows.
5. That none of the kids in Harry’s first year knew about the sorting hat.
Literally not one. Not even Malfoy. Not even Ron with his 5 brothers going before him as well as his parents.
Yet in the end of the last book, Harry is openly discussing the event with his son.
6. Even with so much technology available, they choose to remain medieval with everything in their lives!
7. What happened to Harry’s grandparents? Lily and James were in their very early 20’s when he was born. His grandparents could be anywhere from 40-60 years old. You’re telling me that not one was still alive?
8. The Knight bus. It’s set up with beds instead of seats, but it pops around the country by magic. If it is clearly moving far faster than a regular bus why would it have the longer term piece of furniture?
9. Subjects at Hogwarts. They’re taught about Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, etc.. But what about local and Universal History? Geography? Social Studies. Literature. Math. Any Sciences at all? If they’re not taking any of those classes, Hogwarts’ students are very much at a disadvantage against a world that is slowly closing in on them (the human world, I mean).
10. Ron should not have been able to tell Dobby where Bill’s house was, since he wasn’t the secret keeper. Massive plot hole.
11. Accio being a fourth-year spell. You can tell that this is only because JKR didn’t think of it til GoF, because this incredibly simple yet useful spell appears exactly zero times in previous books.
12. I don’t understand why Dumbledore tolerated the way the Dursleys treated Harry so poorly. Even if he didn’t want Harry to know that he was a wizard-world rock star, he might have had Hagrid drop by one day when Harry wasn’t around to have a word with Vernon.
13. At Slughorn’s Slug Club meetings, Hermione brings up her father being a dentist, which gets confused stares from the students and Slughorn. Yet, in the Chamber of Secrets a clock in the Weasley house can be seen, each hand with a family members’ face, and many indications of where they might be at any given moment.
One of those places is dentist.
14. What was the deal with unbreakable vows? And what stopped dumb teenagers from making them? There is no way that not a single dumb teenage magic couple didn’t make an unbreakable vow to “love each other forever.”
15. Hagrid says there wasn’t a bad wizard that didn’t come out of Slytherin, so didn’t anyone think that maybe the problem was that they were putting all the problem children with other problem children and locking them in a dungeon during their formative years? Of fucking course they turned out evil. If your only option for friends are Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy, and everyone looks at you like you’re a criminal, and you LIVE IN A DUNGEON maybe you’ll become a criminal.
16. The wizarding world is full of wonderfully creative words for magic spells. Yet Ron randomly blurts out “eat slugs” and it actually works?!
17. The fact that the killing curse is unstoppable, but people bother to use other curses while dueling in battles where they want to kill one another.
18. Nobody at Hogwarts ever exercises (hell, their only sport is them sitting practically still), and the great hall has unlimited fattening food, but everyone is super skinny. Especially Harry, who grew up underfed, would probably gorge himself and gain at least a few pounds. But no, everyone is super thin.
19. I know I’m late to the thread, but I’ve never understood something about the Triwizard tournament. For the spectators, two of the three tasks must be super boring.
Here, watch these people jump in a lake. Now wait.
Now, watch these people disappear into a hedge maze. Now wait.
Whee. Sounds like fun to me.
20. JK Rowling admits she’s bad at math, but like how many people go to Hogwarts? If there are really only 10 students per house per year, that’s only 280 people. But she describes hundreds, sometimes thousands of kids. The only compelling argument I can think of is that there was a huge demographic shift after Voldemort was “defeated” and a lot more people had babies so the years right after Harry have a lot more students. I honestly think she just hadn’t figured out how many students it was.
21. If you can use portkeys to teleport to anywhere in an instant what’s the point of any other form of transport?
22. Time-turners. Everyone acknowledges the massive potential ramifications of using a time-turner improperly to the extent that they’re not allowed to be used by anyone. But an exception is made for teenagers – arguably the most irrational users conceivable – with raging hormones and not-yet fully developed brains. Probably not a good policy.
23. The way wizards just didn’t wear robes in the movies.
24. Why was Dumbledore chess mastering the whole thing? Did Dumbledore specifically set up the whole series of events in a giant decade long trap? Why did he train Harry as a magical child soldier? Why did he do everything at arm’s length?
Dumbledore had the magical equivalent of a nuke with the Elder Wand and invisibility cloak. He very well could have beaten every death eater individually, picking away at their numbers. The Death Eaters still have families and day jobs and go to the bathroom. They aren’t in a huge magical army so they could face off against a superior opponent.
There wasn’t a reason to go all cloak and dagger. Dumbledore is hideously powerful, had access to immortality and had 2/3 of the most powerful magical items (and all of the useful ones) from death himself. So why go through so much trouble?
25. Locking the 3rd floor corridor when anyone that knows alohomora can get in.
26. How in the hell did Hagrid’s dad, a normal human man, have sex with a twenty-five foot female giant?
27. Where do the pure blood kids go before Hogwarts/secondary school? Do they have a wizarding primary school? Are they homeschooled? They don’t go to muggle schools because they know jack shit about the muggle world I need a n s w e r s.
28. Love potions being legal. Gotta be the biggest bunch of date rapists ever.
29. Kids from across the UK have to get to London to get on the Hogwarts Express which takes them up to Scotland.
Surely a kid from Scotland or even Manchester doesn’t have to spend hours getting down to London to then go back up to Scotland.
30. That Hogwarts was supposedly one of the safest places in the world.
Ever notice that the guys you really want don’t seem to want you at the same level… and yet you easily and effortlessly attract the guys you don’t really want? It’s confusing and frustrating. Clearly, you have redeeming qualities because there are some guys who want to date you… it just doesn’t seem to be the ones that you really want. Why?
I asked this question to myself a lot when I was single and dating in my twenties. It was so confusing because at first, the guys seemed super into me. It seemed like once I reciprocated that things went off the rails and suddenly I was desperate and chasing instead of being pursued.
This is something many, many women have experienced as well. Let’s look at it a little deeper…
It really comes down to your vibe. What does that mean? Your vibe is your energy essentially, and this is created based on the thoughts you think and your overall mindset. And most people can intuitively pick up on someone’s vibe. You know when you’re in the presence of an anxious, insecure person. You also know when you’re in the presence of a confident, happy person.
Being positive is a vibe; it’s an energy that comes across. You can be saying all the right things, but if you feel negative inside, it will still come across. Our vibe attracts people or drives them away. This is why women often encounter the phenomenon of easily attracting guys they aren’t super into… and repelling the guys who they do really like.
When I posted about this on my Tik Tok, a lot of people in the comments said that if the guys you want don’t want you it’s because you’re going for guys “out of your league.” First, I don’t believe in leagues. I think those can easily be transcended and your “league” is more a state of mind than anything else, which can be changed. But I’m not talking about wanting a guy from afar who doesn’t notice you. I’m talking about a guy who was genuinely interested in you to start, and then it suddenly seemed to shift.
Now sometimes it’s because it wasn’t a match. But if you notice this only happens with guys you really like and really want to get serious with, well then it’s probably something else.
Why does this happen? Well, in a nutshell, with the guys you don’t want, or the guys you’re on the fence about, it’s easy to be happy and positive and uncensored because you don’t have much at stake. You don’t let worries or fears or insecurities enter the picture because you’re not so attached to the outcome. Instead, you just enjoy your interactions with this other person, and if it works out, great. If it doesn’t, then that’s fine, too—you weren’t so into it anyway.
Now with the guys you do want there is more at stake. You really want things to work out, and this activates your fears … specifically, your fear that it won’t work. This leads you to think negative thoughts … you think about all the guys you’ve liked in the past and how it didn’t work out with them, you dwell on your negative characteristics and worry that they will prevent you from getting the love you want, you worry obsessively that you will do something to cause this guy to lose interest.
This worry leads you to feel upset, and this can take several forms: feeling angry, nervous, self-conscious, paranoid, bitter, jealous, unworthy, foolish, unlovable, etc. All of this comes from stressing over the relationship.
When you’re in this state of mind, it’s impossible to form a genuine connection because you’re not there. You aren’t present in your interactions with him, you’re interacting with the worried thoughts in your own mind, not with the person in front of you.
A lot of the time when we like someone who doesn’t seem to reciprocate, it triggers something in us and we mistake this feeling of being triggered for being in love. Maybe it brings up old childhood wounds, maybe it activates your subconscious fears of not being good enough, of never finding love. You have to step out of the emotional whirlpool of your own thoughts and look at what’s really happening inside of you and why.
Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so it doesn’t matter what you say, how you truly feel speaks louder. The most important thing to focus on is getting to the right place internally. You need to get a handle on your thoughts and start challenging the ones that don’t serve you.
Start by noticing your thoughts throughout the day. Then look at the thought. Let’s say you think, “This guy didn’t text me back… he must be losing interest. Why does this always happen to me?” Stop. Notice the thought. Then ask yourself: does this thought serve me well? Does this take me where I want to go?
If it’s bringing up feelings of fear, insecurity, anxiety, negativity, and so on, then the answer is no. It’s not serving you well. Recognize that and then shift your mind to something more positive and productive.
Do this throughout the day. It may feel odd at first, but you’ll get used to it and then it will become like second nature. And you’ll notice that it becomes more natural and you feel lighter and calmer.
When you start worrying about things falling apart, shift your focus and ask: “What if everything works out?”
Sometimes it’s that simple. When you take power away from these negative, frenzied thoughts, it puts you in a lighter, more positive headspace and this will make you magnetic. This is essentially the crux of manifestation. It’s getting to that place of inner peace and calm and knowing things will work out … and when you’re in this space, they usually do.
I’m still mad about the House of the Dragon Season 2 finale, and I’m not alone! I have never felt so cruelly led on by something that isn’t a human man. How dare they leave us on such an anticlimactic cliffhanger? Even the casual viewers among us don’t want to invest eight hours of our lives in a show, only to be rewarded with the promise of dragon content … two years from now. Has Max forgotten that the point of TV is to entertain? Should they change their motto to, “It’s not TV, it’s sadism?” Well, yes to the first, and maybe to the second, because that noticeable lack of action – and thus poor storytelling – at the end of Season 2 is due to one thing and one thing only: money. Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav only gave showrunner Ryan Condal enough money for eight episodes, even though this season’s storylines clearly needed ten. Of course, the show’s writers could have picked up the pace to deliver more action in these eight episodes, but at least we have a corporate baddie to be mad at.
In any case, House of the Dragon is off the air again, which means we have two years to predict how its major cliffhangers will resolve. Let’s speculate wildly, shall we?
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Rhaena spends another season chasing that dragonDesperate to fill in the extra minutes of the Season 2 finale that would have otherwise been devoted to something interesting, House of the Dragon creators decided instead to include several scenes of Rhaena running through grass. While only one was necessary, they continued to check in on her as she ran through more grass. Then, when she finally finished running through the grass and found the dragon Sheepstealer, the storyline ended. She didn’t even get on the dragon. That said, why should we stop dragging this out? In Season 2, we can see her start to walk up to the dragon before the camera cuts away. Then we can check in on her every few episodes to see that she’s walked several more inches. By mid-season, she’ll have paused for a drink. Then, maybe, she’ll get on the dragon in the Season 3 finale. But even that feels too soon. Let’s make it Season 4!
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Rhaenyra and Mysaria make it officialI’m starting to suspect that the writers paired up Rhaenyra and Mysaria simply to make the end of episode 6 more interesting. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a cliffhanger or meme-able moment for the Internet to dissect that week. Because honestly, where has this storyline gone? I want to see these two take things further. I want to see them hunt for apartments in Dorne and pick out dragonglass chandeliers. I want to see them start a feminist bookstore and launch a lecture series featuring Toni and Candace from Portlandia. I want to see them kidnap Criston Cole and cage him in their dungeon, letting him out only to eat and write “Topple the patriarchy” on a chalkboard 500 times in a row. Hopefully this will all happen in Season 2.
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Tyland Lannister has two beautiful babies with Lohar’s wivesSince they will be sailing for two whole years before we see them ever fight in the Battle of the Gullet, these two will have time to grow close. Lohar’s request for Tyland to impregnate their wives will be fulfilled, and their new family unit will have two new little dragonslayers on their ship in the season premiere. Lohar and Tyland will even realize that they have feelings for each other and enter a civil union in the season’s opening. Then, instead of depicting the Battle of the Gullet, the show will spend three episodes telling the story of Lohar and Tyland’s declining marriage, sparing us no torrid detail or icy, passive-aggressive breakfast conversation. The Battle of the Gullet will happen off screen.
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Alicent’s only non-psychopath son arrives in WesterosWith ol’ Aemond One-Eye slowly becoming the new Joffrey, Alicent will need someone – anyone – to show as living proof that she’s not a failure as a mother. This will come in the form of Daeron Targaryen, who has been confirmed alive in the show and who is apparently a well-adjusted, non-psychopath teenager. Likely, he’ll appear right at the end of Season 3 as a replacement for another scene that would have been more dramatic and expensive. Then, Alicent will whisk him away on another spa trip at that lake where she floated around naked for a whole episode. They’ll spend several episodes talking about their feelings, before … Wait, I’m starting to sense that an underlying cynicism has been driving my predictions. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid. Let’s just move on to the next prediction.
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No one will watch Season 3 because Season 2 was so anticlimactic that the entire world has given up on the Game of Thrones universe forever, causing all future Thrones seasons, spinoffs, and remakes to tank immediately, causing Max and thus the entire streaming industry to implodeOh, OK, I see it now. Yes, I have been a bit cynical.
INFP – Since all fiction novels seem to be written by INFPs for INFPs with the message that the person with the kindest heart wins, this type often assumes that they would champion the Hunger Games. In the real hunger games the INFP is first to get shot off their podium because they were daydreaming during the countdown and don’t notice that the games had actually started.
INTP – The INTP climbs up a tree and reverse-engineers the entire Hunger Games. He picks apart the system, analyzes each of its parts, figures out how to dismantle the entire force field and then gets high on some game arena ganja and forgets to follow through with his plan. That night he falls out of the tree he is sleeping in and land on his own weapon, dying quickly and relatively painlessly.
INFJ – The INFJ forms a quick alliance with the ISFP who is outraged by concept of the games. The two sneak off into the forest and make camp, where the INFJ takes the first watch of the night. When a cruel group of STs comes to prey on the two of them, the INFJ throws their body over the ISFP’s, pleading to be killed instead. The group complies – seeing the ISFP as no real threat anyway – and the INFJ happily dies as a martyr.
ESFP – The ESFP is the capitol’s sweetheart. Charming enough to receive bids and athletic enough to run away from potential predators, they survive for a few days in the wild. On day three they get hopelessly bored in their solitude and decide to eat some wild mushrooms that they hope will have psychedelic side effects. They do. The ESFP wanders into the lake, thinking it is made of ice cream, and subsequently drowns.
ENFJ – The ENFJ had formed alliances with half the participants prior to entering the hunger games, which quickly turns into a cult known as “District Fe.” Participants listen to inspirational speeches each morning about the power of sharing ones feelings and watch a beautiful romance unfold between their leader and the group ENTP. One morning when the camp wakes up to find the ENFJ dead in their tent and the ENTP nowhere to be seen. The Fe district dismantles quickly afterward, leaving only the ESFJ to remember their noble leader.
ENFP – The ENFP survives for a while at the hands of the ENTJ that they have formed an alliance with. After three weeks of prancing around the forest yelling excitedly about all the super-cool special effects of the arena, the ENTJ finally shoots the ENFP just to get them to shut up for five minutes.
ISTJ – The ISTJ survives for a while by posing as an ISFJ in District Fe. On day four they are found hiding behind a tree pledging allegiance to the capitol. They are swiftly shot by the ESTP who passes the death off as blasphemy but really just didn’t care to hear any more empowered speeches about the ISTJ’s willingness to die for their district.
ISFP – After waking up alone in the forest, the ISFP decides to peacefully protest the hunger games. They receive multiple bids from district 11 but eventually starve to death because the forest creatures were too cute to kill.
ESFJ – The ESFJ forms an alliance with the ESTJ, whom they trust to protect them. They hold up their end of the bargain by cooking meals out of forest berries and diligently maintaining the campsite. The ESTJ keeps up their part of the bargain by killing the ESFJ in their sleep.
ISFJ – After the downfall of District Fe, the ISFJ isn’t sure where to go. They hang out with their best ESTP friend for a while then realize that one of them is eventually going to have to betray the other and dies in a stress-induced heart attack.
ESTP – Though unquestionably charming and quick on their feet, the ESTP has trouble staying focused on the hunger games for more than ten minutes at a time. They are regularly distracted by the physical challenges presented in the arena and die trying to slack line across two mountain peaks with their GoPro.
INTJ – The INTJ escapes quickly from the limelight and stews in an underground lair for several weeks. They develop a complex plot to take down each of their opponents then get killed when a flash flood hits their lair. It is later revealed that the game makers created the flood intentionally because the INTJ’s reclusiveness made for bad TV.
ESTJ – Though celebrated for their practical leadership skills in the beginning, the ESTJ becomes a liability near the end of the games. The ENTP decides to deal with this matter by asking the ESTJ what everyone else in the Hunger Games did wrong. While the ESTJ wheels off a long-winded rant about the incompetency of the other constants, he is shot through the heart by the sneaky and unforgiving ISTP.
ENTP – Keenly aware that they are approaching victory, the ENTP grows confident in their ability to booby trap the remaining candidates. They construct an elaborate set-up, prepare themselves for victory, then step in the trap accidentally and die at their own hands.
ENTJ – Realizing that there are only two competitors left, the ENTJ becomes stressed about not having planned out their victory speech. While they are developing a strategy for the contestants they will mentor next season, the ISTP sneaks up behind them and shoots them unfailingly through the heart.
ISTP – Wins. Was there ever any question?
***None of the kids in Harry’s first year knew about the sorting hat.
Literally not one. Not even Malfoy. Not even Ron with his 5 brothers going before him as well as his parents.
Yet in the end of the last book, Harry is openly discussing the event with his son.
***At Slughorn’s Slug Club meetings, Hermione brings up her father being a dentist, which gets confused stares from the students and Slughorn. Yet, in the Chamber of Secrets a clock in the Weasley house can be seen, each hand with a family members’ face, and many indications of where they might be at any given moment.
One of those places is dentist.
***They are able to literally grow bones back from nothing but can’t fix Harry’s eye sight so he doesen’t need glasses.
***Locking the 3rd floor corridor when anyone that knows alohomora can get in.
***They don’t listen to any muggle music. Some of them grew up with muggles, so they should be into it. Same goes for TV shows.
***Dumbldore was a great man. I got massive respect for the dude. But when it comes to his role as a headmaster I would say he is a pretty incompetent one. He had no control over adminstration and had no idea what’s going on around here.
***That Hogwarts was supposedly one of the safest places in the world.
***Kids from across the UK have to get to London to get on the Hogwarts Express which takes them up to Scotland.
Surely a kid from Scotland or even Manchester doesn’t have to spend hours getting down to London to then go back up to Scotland.
***Where do the pure blood kids go before hogwarts/secondary school? Do they have a wizarding primary school? Are they homeschooled? They dont go to muggle schools becuase they know jack shit about the muggle world.
***They have newspapers and cameras! Yet they don’t understand things like what a rubber duck is for or a car.
***Their entire justice system.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban***I don’t understand why Dumbledore tolerated the way the Dursleys treated Harry so poorly. Even if he didn’t want Harry to know that he was a wizard-world rock star, he might have had Hagrid drop by one day when Harry wasn’t around to have a word with Vernon.
***There are muggle technologies that are actually superior to what the wizards have. Like phones or faxes (given the books were written in the 90s. Today, it would be video chat etc). They need to send an owl cross country while muggles could just use the phone to get information across faster.
***How in the hell did Hagrid’s dad, a normal human man, have sex with a twenty-five foot female giant?
***Love potions being legal. Gotta be the biggest bunch of date rapists ever.
***Why was Dumbledore chess mastering the whole thing? Did Dumbledore specifically setup the whole series of events in a giant decade long trap? Why did he train Harry as a magical child soldier? Why did he do everything at arms length?
Dumbledore had the magical equivalent of a nuke with the Elder Wand and invisibility cloak. He very well could have beaten every death eater individually, picking away at their numbers. The Death Eaters still have families and day jobs and go to the bathroom. They aren’t in a huge magical army so they could face off against a superior opponent.
There wasn’t a reason to go all cloak and dagger. Dumbledore is hideously powerful, had access to immortality and had 2/3 of the most powerful magical items (and all of the useful ones) from death himself. So why go through so much trouble?
***Why couldnt Harry just…not compete in the Triwizard tournament? It’s clearly against the rules, it’s clearly not supposed to happen, its probably a trap since Harry has had 3 years of magical assassination attempts against him, why not just let him forfeit every round and everyone can move on?
***Time-turners. Everyone acknowledges the massive potential ramifications of using a time-turner improperly to the extent that they’re not allowed to be used by anyone. But an exception is made for teenagers – arguably the most irrational users conceivable – with raging hormones and not-yet fully developed brains. Probably not a good policy.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows***Voldemort is a goddamn idiot. If he would drop theatrics and throw a baby against a wall, there wouldn’t be any issues for him.
***Hagrid says there wasnt a bad wizard that didnt come out of Slytherin, so didnt anyone think that maybe the problem was that they were putting all the problem children with other problem children and locking them in a dungeon during their formative years? Of fucking course they turned out evil. If your only option for friends are Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy, and everyone looks at you like you’re a criminal, and you LIVE IN A DUNGEON maybe you’ll become a criminal.
***Unbeatable truth serum: exists
Magical justice system: We throw innocent dudes in prison without a trial and let obvious terrorists go free. There is no solution to this.
***JK Rowling admits she’s bad at math, but like how many people go to hogwarts? If there are really only 10 students per house per year, that’s only 280 people. But she describes hundreds, sometimes thousands of kids. The only compelling argument I can think of is that there was a huge demographic shift after Voldemort was “defeated” and a lot more people had babies so the years right after Harry have a lot more students. I honestly think she just hadn’t figured out how many students it was.
Also it’s wild in the 5th book when Harry clearly has PTSD but every adult (except maybe Sirius and Molly) is like “let’s let his two teenage friends take care of him.” Now that I’m an adult Hagrid is my favorite and Dumbledore does not come off looking good.
***About 5 percent of the total Wizarding Population of Britain are professional Quidditch Players, and 1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 currently play professional Quidditch.
In comparison, .004 percent of the current population of the US are professional athletes in any sport, at any level. ( https://www.bls.gov/ooh/entertainment-and-sports/athletes-and-sports-competitors.htm )
Here’s the Math.
If there are 500 students at Hogwarts at a given time(which is a generous estimate based on how many we actually see), then assuming a similar life expectancy(some live much longer, many die younger by misadventure, then that makes the number of Hogwarts trained(and future Hogwarts trained) Wizards active in the country about 6000 (71.4 students per year, life expectancy of 81 gets you 5786)
There are 12 professional top level Quidditch teams in the UK(plus one in Ireland). Each requires 7 players to field a team. Assuming that you need 4-6 substitutes in a full roster(one or two for each position) then there are 132-156 people on professional teams at any time.
Add in reserve teams, themselves requiring 7 players to actually play, and that number doubles, let’s call it a round 300 total, at any given time. 300 out of 6000 is 5 percent of the total population.
But wait, that includes infants and the elderly, let’s assume the prime Quidditch playing ages are 18-39, if that’s a comparable percentage to the UK, then that’s 29.5 percent of the population. That means 1770 eligible people at a given time. Which means that the 300 players represent 17 percent of that population, or about 1 in 6.
1 in 6 wizards between 18 and 39 play professional Quidditch.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince***The fact that the killing curse is unstoppable, but people bother to use other curses while dueling in battles where they want to kill one another.
***Ok, so 7 galleons for a wand with unicorn hairs in it, 20 galleons for a single unicorn hair? Wtf
***How come Felix Felicis production wasn’t increased so that every member of the Order of the Phoenix, at the least, was outfitted with one ampule for emergency use, and one ampule when they knew the confrontation with Voldemort was at hand?
Further more, why didn’t the death eaters and Voldemort take this stuff?
***Much bigger plot hole – Bill should not have been able to be the secret keeper for his own house. That brings everything we’re told about the Fidelius Charm into question. If the owner and primary resident of a property can be their own secret keeper, why would the Potters have put that responsibility onto anyone else’s shoulders? The whole plot of Prisoner of Azkaban is invalidated by that loose end
***Why didn’t Mad Eye Moody just make Harry’s bed or wand or broomstick the portkey instead of going through like 400 pages of trouble to get him to that pot with baby Voldemort in it.
***Fred and George have always known (they must have, according to some clues in the books) that their 11 year old brother is sharing a bed with a male they’ve never heard of. But no, they don’t try to find out who this is, which would have resulted in Dumbledore being informed about the fact that there is a mid aged, dead man in their brothers bed. Every single night.
***Throughout the whole series you get many clues which all lead to one fact: the Weasleys make out 10% of wizard society, but somehow Fred, George, Percy, Ron and Ginny are the only ones in Hogwarts.
***Feels like the name Tom Marvolo Riddle was thought up as an anagram for “I Am Lord Voldemort” because no other name fit an anagram of just “Lord Voldemort”.(I mean, I can’t imagine Tom Riddle going… “awww, shucks, Lord Voldemort is such a cool name, but I’m left with an I, an A and an M… Hey, wait a minute…”).
***The use of magic being banned for kids under the age of eleven. Also: there are ways for the government to “detect” if they do use magic. I mean, come on! Of course an 8 year-old is going to try a multiplying-candy spell, or a naughty 10 year-old will try to make a pair of magical x-ray glasses to spy on the girl’s bathrooms. Or at the very least, magical parents will try to start an early magical education for their kids. It makes no sense to have a magical ban on young kids. (I get that such ban is akin to “no driving” or “no drinking”, but magic is part of what these people are, so…)
***Why Rita Skeeter was able to write horrendous things about a variety of minors resulting in them being attacked by adult wizard hate mail.
***The Malfoys, pure-bloods who want nothing to do with the Muggle world and Muggleborns, are depicted wearing Muggle clothing in the films. Draco walks around in his black suit outfit for much of the later films, yet his family is supposed to hate everything Muggle?
***I’ve never understood something about the Triwizard tournament. For the spectators, two of the three tasks must be super boring.
Here, watch these people jump in a lake. Now wait.
Now, watch these people disappear into a hedge maze. Now wait.
***I wonder if any muggle borns keep in touch with old friends, and the friends think that they’re essentially slow because they have the education level of a 10 year old and know basically nothing about what’s going on in the world.
***Accio being a fourth-year spell.
You can tell that this is only because JKR didn’t think of it til GoF, because this incredibly simple yet useful spell appears exactly zero times in previous books.
***Wizards don’t understand things like phones, muggle clothes, or muggle money.
They live in a place where…99% of the population is muggles….you would think they would pick up some basic understanding.
***They use some muggle things like tents and stuff but still use middle aged stuff like a feather to write. Why not use a muggle pen?
***Quidditch. Scoring a goal is 10 points. Catching the Snitch is 150. There would have to be a massive imbalance in Chaser skill level between two teams for the Snitch to not decide a game.
***Brooms are just pieces of individual equipment, so players are allowed to get whatever brooms they want. As such, broom makers keep finding ways to make brooms better and faster.
Snitches, on the other hand, have to meet rigorously monitored restrictions to be considered “regulation equipment”.
Over the decades/centuries, the brooms have gotten faster and the snitches haven’t. This leads to shorter games. Shorter games have lower scores, so the 150 points for the snitch means more now than it did when the brooms were all crap.
***Not to mention that because a faster broom is instrumental in catching the snitch first, being able to afford faster brooms is a massive advantage.
Quidditch is pay-to-win garbage.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone***How does Binns teaching a class even work when it comes to homework. They’re consistently having to write essays for him, but ghosts are specifically stated to not be able to interact with physical objects very much, if at all. It’s poltergeists that can move shit.
So how does Binns collect, much less grade, homework? And given his memory issues when it comes to names, how would he ever manage to assign the correct marks to each student?
Wizard History could be awesome if taught by someone even vaguely interesting.
***What happened to Harry’s grandparents? Lily and James were in their very early 20’s when he was born. His grandparents could be anywhere from 40-60 years old. You’re telling me that not one was still alive?
***Flying Carpets cannot be imported into Britain because they are a “muggle artefact”. So why are flying brooms allowed?
***Hermione read Hogwarts, A History like it was a YA novel and yet knew dick about the house elves running the kitchens or that thestrals pull the carriages.
***The economy. The fact that nobody has quietly harnessed wizard powers to gain muggle power or vice versa.
***I adore Harry Potter: books and movies, but outside of like 5 people seemingly every single witch and wizard is an idiot. It’s no wonder Harry is a standout when he’s one of the few people in the story of average intelligence.
Relationships fall apart all the time for various reasons — cheating, jealousy, distance, or sometimes it just isn’t a match. Sometimes, things are beyond our control. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, sometimes we just can’t make it work because there is too much fundamental incompatibility.
But other times, it is under our control. We can choose how we show up in our relationships. And this makes a difference in whether it thrives or implodes.
Let’s look at the most common ways people destroy their relationships and how to avoid them.
1. You don’t communicate.Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, we’ve all heard this one before. But how many of us make it a priority to truly connect with our partner?
In this day and age of digital devices, it’s just so easy to get lost in that and real-life relationships take a backseat. Next time you go out look around at how many couples or groups of friends are sitting together and all just looking at their phones. ‘
It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and the grind of everyday life, but you have to make it a priority to actually talk to each other.
Communication plays an even more vital role when conflicts arise, which they inevitably will even in the best relationships.
It’s hard to have those honest, uncomfortable conversations because they bring up all sorts of unpleasant feelings we don’t want to feel but if you don’t talk about it, then the problems will persist and resentment will start to build.
Healthy communication can be challenging if you grew up in a home with unhealthy communication. You may find that you get overly defensive, you stonewall or shut down, you ice him out, or maybe you get extremely combative. All of these are unhealthy coping mechanisms being activated by a triggering situation, and a simple argument can be highly triggering for certain people.
When you feel those defenses going up, recognize that this is your “Protector” coming to save you. This “Protector” played a vital role when you were younger and didn’t have many skills. But you’re an adult now and you can cope in healthier ways so just ask her to step aside so you can do that.
Awareness is the first step. So just be aware of your weak spots and work on strengthening those communication skills.
2. Lack of empathy.This is a tough one because it’s very easy to get caught up in our own experience of the relationship. It’s easy to feel like we’re the victim and it’s unfair and we’re right and he’s wrong and we’re doing everything in this relationship and getting nothing back.
I know it can feel that way in the heat of the moment, but it’s important to step back and look at your partner with more empathetic eyes. I’m not saying your hurt isn’t valid, but it won’t get you anywhere to blame him fully, he’ll just get defensive and the conversation won’t go anywhere. (And it goes without saying your partner should also activate his empathy and try to see things from your perspective).
When you can’t see his perspective, then he doesn’t feel heard and when and this will cause a breakdown in communication which will create distance between you, and the more distance there is, the less intimacy there is.
3. Too much criticism.Why do we do this? We hate being criticized but sometimes just can’t help but do it to our partners.
It doesn’t motivate him to change and instead makes him resentful and annoyed and even less likely to do what you want.
It also creates a parent/child dynamic, where you’re his mother scolding him, and there is nothing less sexy than that.
If you are overly critical, then look deeper into where that comes from. Usually, the thing we’re most critical about in others is what we are most critical about in ourselves.
Take a look at what’s really bothering you.
Maybe you’re criticizing him for the way he folded the laundry but really, you just feel out of control in your life, like nothing is quite right. Maybe you don’t feel heard. Maybe you feel resentment toward him for not meeting certain needs and instead and it manifests as criticism.
And yes, sometimes we have valid critiques and it’s fine to bring issues up, just make sure you’re doing it in a respectful, compassionate way.
4. Being Deceptive.There is never a good reason to be sneaky in your relationship. If you feel this need, ask yourself why.
Do you think you’re partner will get angry? Are you trying to present yourself in a certain light and you’re afraid your real self won’t be good enough?
Trust is everything. If you can’t trust him and he can’t trust you, what are we even doing here?
5. No respect.Dr. John Gottman, the guy famous for being able to predict whether a couple will divorce with 90% accuracy, cites contempt as one of the leading factors of whether a relationship will fall apart. And of the greatest indicators of that in his research is eye-rolling.
Contempt conveys “I’m better than you, I don’t respect you and I’m just going to roll my eyes at everything you say because I find it so stupid.”
Mocking your partner and being sarcastic, and not in a playful way, are also signs of contempt.
Contempt can be the result of resentment that went unchecked for way too long.
And I always say resentment is poison for a relationship. Once it creeps in, it festers and soon enough you can’t find any positive qualities about your partner anymore.
If you can’t respect him, you need to ask yourself why. Do you really think he’s just an idiot? If so, why are you with him? Or, are you just trying to protect yourself and self-sabotaging? Or are you angry over things that happened with him in the past that you never addressed?
6. Being too sensitive and insecure.I’m not saying never get upset when your partner says or does something hurtful, but it’s important to step back sometimes and look at where that hurt is really coming from
We all have sore spots- we all have old wounds that never fully healed and sometimes someone can say something innocent but it just presses on that raw space and we have an extreme reaction.
A lot of the time, those are our own insecurities, it’s how we already felt about ourselves but we blame our partner for “making” us feel a certain way.
For example, if you go to cut yourself a second piece of cake and he asks- are you sure you want that? And you get hysterical and think he’s calling you fat. I chose that as an example because that happened to me a long time ago with a boyfriend. The fact is, I felt insecure in the relationship and like most girls, I was chronically insecure about my body- so when he made that comment, my mind immediately went to “he thinks I’m fat and he’s not attracted to me.”
Your insecurities can really ruin a relationship if you let them run rampant, so just check yourself and see where your feelings are truly coming from
7. Setting him up to fail.Don’t expect him to read your mind and know what you want and how you want it. If you want a happy relationship, set your partner up to win.
Just be direct, don’t drop hints and then get angry when he doesn’t pick up on them.
If you want him to plan something special for your anniversary, just tell him that! Yes, I know it would be more romantic if he could just intuit exactly what it is you want but he can’t! So just tell him instead of getting upset on the day of.
If you give him directions on how to make you happy, he will! (As long as it’s done in a kind way, not a shaming way).
8. Expecting your partner to fill a void.Another person cannot repair what’s broken inside you. It might feel like you’ll be all whole and healed from your past trauma once you find someone who loves you enough, but there is no such thing as enough when you have that void because it can never be filled by someone else.
If you outsource the task of being “whole” to your partner then you will never be satisfied and you will resent him for not giving you this thing when really, only you can give it to yourself.
Love won’t heal you and it won’t erase your past pains and trauma. Conversely, love will bring up all that is unloved within you. Whatever it is you haven’t dealt with will keep coming up again and again.
9. Having an agenda.This is a mistake that usually kills a budding relationship but can also harm an established one. Having an agenda means you want to push the relationship in a certain direction in order to feel good about yourself.
If you’re in the early phases of dating, you may feel this overwhelming need to become official, and you measure all of your interactions in terms of whether they’re taking you closer to or further from that goal. It’s not just about wanting the relationship because you really like this other person and want to create a meaningful partnership, it’s about what it will mean to you and about you. You attach a certain meaning onto having this thing — it will mean you’re worthy, you’re OK, you won’t end up alone, etc.
10. Avoiding confrontation.Happy couples aren’t couples who never fight, they just don’t fight dirty. Arguements can actually be healthy and are a chance to grow as a couple, but only if you use them to reach a resolution.
If you’re having problems, nothing will change if you ignore it. Rather, you’ll end up becoming bitter and resentful and this will poison your relationship.
Avoiding confrontation can also cause you to act passive aggressive and this never takes things in a positive direction!
The way to prevent most of these destructive behaviors is to just have self-awareness. Look at what you’re bringing to the interaction (because you are the only person that you have full control over), and if they are helping or harming the state of your relationship.
When most people hear the words “streaming service,” they immediately tend to think of Netflix, Hulu, Max, or Paramount+. As great as each of those respective platforms are, though, viewers shouldn’t look past the esteem of Amazon’s Prime Video, a first-rate service that’s delivered countless worthwhile TV shows since late 2006.
From hyper-violent superhero series to visionary video game adaptations, here are some of the finest shows we’ve seen on Prime Video yet, ranked in order from worst to best.
The Marvelous Mrs. MaiselAmazon PrimeAmong the finest comedy series to ever air on Prime Video, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel also doubles as an engrossing breakdown of 1950s American culture (I.E., one of the most racist, antisemitic, and sexist periods in U.S. history). Ceaselessly funny one moment yet overwhelmingly emotional in the next, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel remains eminently enjoyable from its opening episode onwards.
BoschAmazon PrimeOne of the earliest Prime Video series that helped solidify the platform as a viable alternative to Netflix or Hulu, Bosch also added a fresh spin on the cliched police procedural drama, likening itself more to The Shield or Dexter than CSI or Criminal Minds. Providing a meticulous snapshot of its lead character’s career and ever eventful personal life, Bosch’s grittier presentation and hard-boiled aesthetic only helped the show grow better over time, as evidenced by its acclaimed second, third, and fourth seasons.
Good OmensAmazon PrimeWhat do you get when you toss together a devilish David Tennant, an angelic Martin Freeman, and the masterful imagination of Neil Gaiman? Simple – you get the absurdly enjoyable comedic fantasy series, Good Omens. Among the more popular new additions to Prime Video’s digital library, Good Omens’ humorous portrayal of Christian antiquity allows for a more light-hearted exploration of the Armageddon, the Antichrist, and the ongoing war between angels and demons.
FalloutAmazon PrimeWhen Amazon announced they were adapting Bethesda’s popular Fallout series into a live-action TV show, most diehard fans of the franchise held their breath with anticipation. Fortunately, the finished series wound up being every bit as memorable as its source material, living up to the hype set by millions of avid video game fans across the globe. Extensively drawing on the Fallout’s larger canonical universe, Fallout directly appeals to both gamers and casual viewers alike, establishing itself as one of the best video game adaptations we’ve seen yet.
InvincibleAmazon PrimeIn an era marked by a proliferation of superhero movies and TV shows, Invincible bills itself as an entirely different kind of superhero narrative. Based on Robert Kirkman’s popular comic series of the same name, Invincible’s bloody visuals and shocking levels of gore might cause the more faint-hearted viewers to quickly change the channel. But for most, this adult animated TV show achieves an emotional depth most modern superhero stories can only dream of, including a meticulous exploration of family, heroism, and the true cost that comes with superpowers.
The BoysAmazon PrimeLike the aforementioned Invincible, The Boys has done a fantastic job subverting the genre tropes of the conventional superhero premise. Opting for a more realistic portrayal of the genre, this unforgettable dark comedy somehow finds a way to make some profound social statements around timely societal issues, from audiences’ overwhelming obsession with Marvel and DC to more serious subjects like the MeToo Movement. Throughout it all, The Boys never fails to leave a Hulk-sized impression on viewers, holding our attention throughout each of its four (soon to be five) seasons.
FleabagAmazon PrimeThe series that propelled creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge to mainstream attention, Fleabag proves that sometimes less is better when it comes to darkly comic drama series. Though a mere two seasons long, Fleabag’s emotionally gripping main storyline packs a wallop of a punch, tackling such genuinely cathartic issues as depression, mental health, addiction, trauma, familial estrangement, and personal redemption in every episode. What we’re left with is a bittersweet tragicomedy of the highest caliber, one that leaves viewers a sobbing mess even as we look ahead to the bright possibilities of the future.
Here are 12 of the most romantic TV and movie scenes that will melt your heart. (Do be warned, spoilers ahead!)
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When Harry Met SallyWhen Harry Met Sally is a classic for a reason: it’s utter perfection. With direction by Rob Reiner and screenplay by Nora Ephron, you know it’s going to be good. And the final scene is one of the best in romantic comedy history. But don’t take my word for it:
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Love, ActuallyWhether you love it or hate it, Love, Actually really does have some romantic storylines. While most people reference the exchange between Mark (Andrew Lincoln) and Juliet (Keira Knightly), I think the most romantic scene actually has to be between Jamie (Colin Firth) and Auriela (Lucia Moniz), when Jamie surprise Auriela and proposes to her in (broken) Portuguese:
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Brooklyn Nine-NineAnother romantic proposal scene happens on Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
4. Up!The opening montage. That is all. (Warning: You will want to grab tissues. Trust me.)
5. The Notebook“It wasn’t over. It’s still not over.”
6. BridgertonIn season two of Netflix’s smash hit series Bridgerton, Kate Sharma and Anthony Bridgerton confess their love to one another in the gardens at a ball. There are literal and metaphorical fireworks:
7. New GirlNick and Jess’s first kiss on New Girl basically stops time:
8. Schitt’s CreekThis scene of Patrick serenading David is…simply the best. It’s a scene where David finally begins to open up and welcome Patrick’s love fully.
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The Princess BrideThe scene when Buttercup and Westley reunite is both romantic and hilarious:
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FleabagIn the final moments of Fleabag, Fleabag confesses her feelings to The (Hot) Priest. After Fleabag tells The Priest she loves him, The Priest responds, “It’ll pass.” It’s devastating but it’s also an incredibly poignant and romantic scene. Now, you may be thinking, “Huh, how is rejection romantic?” Because confessing love, whether it can last or not, is always a worthy endeavor. Not only that, Fleabag admitting how she felt to The Priest is a true sign of her growth and healing. The point is that love changes you, no matter how fleeting:
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Romeo + Juliet1996’s Romeo + Juliet staring Clare Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio is a modern retelling of the tragic Shakespeare play. The scene of the initial meeting of Romeo and Juliet is incredibly beautiful and poignant:
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Say AnythingAnd finally, the boombox serenade from Say Anything has become one of the most iconic romantic scenes in movie history:
Are they really “moral” and “mature” or are they narcissistic? A researcher specializing in narcissism reveals the three subtle signs you’re dealing with a covert manipulator in dating and relationships.We all think we know what true maturity is because platitudes have convinced us that there is one way to be mature and moral. In reality, we have likely been conditioned to believe in a distorted and simplified version of morality which has made the average human more susceptible to manipulation, less able to acknowledge nuance and options for empowerment across morally complicated scenarios, and less likely to defend and protect themselves. Narcissistic manipulators may intellectually understand society’s tropes of maturity and morality, but they have a very emotionally shallow understanding of what authentic morality and empathy actually are and lack the willingness, emotional depth, introspection, or compassion to actually practice any kind of beneficial morality or productive maturity in daily life. They prefer to weaponize shallow moral tropes against others to feign moral superiority and to continue to prey on others without consequences. Here are three signs you may be dealing with a person who seems “moral” and “mature” but is actually narcissistic – and what authentic morality and maturity actually look like in contrast.
They don’t practice what they preach. They promote moral absolutism and morally grandstand without nuance and feign superiority, all while victimizing others with impunity. What does an authentically moral and mature person look like? Usually, they’re not living in the world going out of their way to harm, manipulate, covertly demean, underhandedly sabotage, and bully innocent people who never did anything to them or treat them with contempt. They’re not engaging in premeditated and unprovoked aggression. Unless someone has harmed them, they’re usually too busy living their lives authentically and true to who they are to ever try to harm someone deliberately. They’re minding their own business and they’re certainly not bragging to people how moral and mature they are on a daily basis or putting others down for not being seemingly “mature” enough. Narcissists operate differently. The blatant discrepancy between a narcissist’s words and actions tells you everything you need to know about their so-called maturity, morality, and emotional “control.”
You will often see narcissists preemptively morally grandstand by saying things like, “Be the bigger person,” “I would never lie to you,” “You need to be less insecure and controlling,” “I know how to control my emotions, others can’t seem to” “People who talk back are so immature, just walk away,” “Why do you need to hold people accountable? Just make peace.” Yet these are the same dark personality types who habitually take time out of their day to manipulate and belittle people out of malicious envy, pathological deception, and rage. They target, stalk, and harass people they’re jealous of just to “one-up” them, and provoke jealousy on purpose in romantic relationships to gain power and control, according to research. They frequently lash out at others with projections and gaslighting and subject their romantic partners with the silent treatment or stonewalling, much like an adolescent would when they do not get what they want.
In public, they espouse loyalty, respect, understanding, and compassion, presenting themselves as moral disciples. In private, they are cruel and sadistic to their loved ones.The reason many people are shocked when they discover a narcissist’s true nature is because most people will never get close enough to see their behavior up close and personal. Romantic partners, family members, friends, or other acquaintances they target out of envy, however, will get a front row seat to how they behave, and thus their accounts should be taken seriously. If you notice people from their past giving you “warnings” about them and there would be no reason for a smear campaign, take heed. These people are often the ones subjected to their rages, manipulation tactics, gaslighting, and underhanded ways of sabotage after all, so they know how morally depraved their actual cruelty is behind closed doors. It’s no wonder that research reveals that the perspectives of loved ones and partners of narcissistic people tend to be the most aligned with expert ratings of the same individual. Basically, both the mental health professionals and psychologists as well as their loved ones agree on their traits! If you want to know who a narcissist truly is beyond their public moral façade, you have to ask those closest to them or those they envy and target with malice. This will give you far more information about their behaviors and traits than their projected public image ever would.
They uplift and align themselves with other morally depraved perpetrators who harm others, all while projecting a “stellar” reputation in public. Meanwhile, they provoke, shame, and blame people who defend and protect themselves or those who hold people accountable for their actions. Notice that the same moral tropes narcissists promote in others also frees perpetrators from being held accountable and victims from gaining justice. It is very convenient to tell someone to be the “bigger person” when you’re the one harming them and the one who instigated chaos in their life. It is rather sadistic to deliberately provoke people, then shame and gaslight them for being “emotional” or “immature” when they finally react (even if they react in the calmest way possible after numerous transgressions, narcissists will still pathologize the emotions of others to try to depict their partners as unhinged). Yet narcissists will form alliances with some of the worst criminals and predators in the world, all while shaming and silencing empathic people who stand up for themselves against mistreatment and injustice. They may even encourage spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity in victims while doing so to prevent them from speaking out or defending themselves.
These alliances with like-minded perpetrators help them commit their own crimes with more impunity and support behind closed doors, all while projecting a morally pristine image to the world. This is neither moral nor mature, it is enabling and predatory, and it prevents people from taking responsibility for their actions and being met with healthy consequences. If we were looking at the bigger picture, such shaming and blaming of victims who stand up for themselves and continued perpetration also has a harmful effect on the world as a whole. If perpetrators are never held accountable and rarely given any kind of taste of their own medicine, they will learn that others will always turn the other cheek in response to their misbehavior and that they can get away with their behavior without consequences. Thus, their harm of others will continue without repercussions or a second thought. Not exactly the most “moral” way to handle any situation nor the most nuanced.
What Is Actual Morality, Authenticity, and Maturity?So what is the truly “mature” approach to such moral conundrums? Authentically moral and mature people often offer a more nuanced strengths-focused approach and perspective that allows survivors of mistreatment many options to respond to injustice and take their power back in safe ways that help them move forward. They do not shame and blame others for wanting justice or for having valid emotional reactions to abuse and mistreatment. They support whatever healthy options help empower those who have been victimized, including different methods that allow them to gain justice, speak their voice, and hold predators accountable to leave a positive impact on not just their own situation but on the world as a whole.
For authentically moral and mature people, there is a profound acknowledgment that a perpetrator is the one who instigated a problem, and the victim can now choose to protect and defend themselves in different ways based on considerations of their own safety and sense of personal empowerment. Authentically moral and mature people understand that emotional avoidance only strengthens PTSD symptoms according to studies, so they do not invalidate other people’s emotions or hold them up to some arbitrary standard of emotional control. For them, true emotional mastery and control is about treating innocent people consistently with care, respect, and empathy, not about encouraging suppression in people who have been victimized. Emotions like anger are thus honored as functional emotions, not demonized ones, that allow victims to defend themselves in constructive ways.
Among authentically moral and mature people, there is a profound acknowledgement that there is no one-size-fits all when it comes to how to handle injustice because all circumstances are different and what empowers one survivor may not empower another. This is the type of nuanced and constructive morality, authenticity, and maturity we should all seek to emulate. If you have experienced a relationship with a narcissistic person, you are not alone and you deserve to heal from toxic people.
Ready to relive the ’90s? Dive into these iconic teen movies that defined a generation.
Ah, the ’90s, a time when flannel shirts were the height of fashion and pagers were our smartphones. It was a decade that brought us some of the most memorable teen movies ever made. So, lace up your Doc Martens and journey back to the neon-soaked, slap-bracelet-wearing, dial-up-internet days of the 1990s with twelve teen movies that defined a generation.
House Party (1990)New Line CinemaHigh schooler Kid (Christopher Reid) wants to go to his friend Play’s (Christopher Martin) house party, but his strict dad isn’t having it. As he tries to outsmart his Pops (Robin Harris) and get to the party, Kid ends up having an epic night filled with music and mayhem.
House Party epitomized the vibrant hip-hop culture of the early ’90s. The film’s soundtrack is a who’s who of early ’90s hip-hop and R&B, and includes tracks like “To da Break of Dawn” by LL Cool J and Marley Mar and “Fun House” by Kid ‘n Play.
The film perfectly mirrored the spirit of youth rebellion that was just starting to brew. And remember those scenes with the pagers and huge phones? They gave us a glimpse of a world on the brink of a digital revolution.
Clueless (1995)Paramount PicturesDive into the glamorous world of Beverly Hills with high schooler Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone), her fashion-forward friends, and her former stepbrother, Josh (Paul Rudd). This modern take on Jane Austen’s Emma explores Cher’s matchmaking endeavors and personal growth.
Clueless was a reflection of ’90s materialism. Cher’s journey from a self-absorbed teen to someone who genuinely cared about others resonated with the era’s growing emphasis on authenticity.
Cher’s high-tech closet gave us a sneak peek into the future, while her fashionable outfits became ’90s style benchmarks. Her iconic yellow plaid outfit is still celebrated and worn as a Halloween costume. And her phrases like “As if!” and “Whatever!” became part of the ’90s lexicon.
Scream (1996)Dimension FilmsWes Craven’s meta-horror masterpiece introduces us to the town of Woodsboro, where a masked killer terrorizes a group of teens, including Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell).
Scream was a cultural phenomenon that etched itself into the ’90s. It was self-aware — like a horror movie within a horror movie — and it was high concept in its deconstruction of genre tropes. Sidney Prescott was more than a scream queen; she symbolized the ’90s spirit of empowered women.
The Craft (1996)Columbia PicturesSarah Bailey (Robin Tunney) moves to a new school and befriends a group of outcast girls who practice witchcraft. As they harness their supernatural powers, their newfound abilities come with unforeseen consequences.
The Craft emphasized themes of female empowerment and the importance of strong, supportive friendships. It was a reflection of the era’s growing emphasis on women’s rights and camaraderie. The film’s success may have contributed to the rise in supernatural teen dramas, laying the groundwork for shows like Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)Columbia PicturesIn the coastal town of Southport, four friends — Julie James (Jennifer Love Hewitt), Barry Cox (Ryan Phillippe), Helen Shivers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), and Ray Bronson (Freddie Prinze Jr.) — find their lives forever altered when a tragic accident shatters their carefree summer night.
I Know What You Did Last Summer embodied the decade’s appetite for teen thrillers and contributed to a wave of similar movies, including Urban Legend and Final Destination. The film indirectly touched on themes of secrecy and exposure, reflecting our growing concerns about the digital age, where privacy was becoming a precious commodity. It also brought together ’90s power couple Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.
Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)Columbia PicturesAfter dumping his long-term girlfriend, Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), popular jock, Mike Dexter (Peter Facinelli) throws a raging pre-graduation house party. Preston Meyers (Ethan Embry), a love-struck outcast, seizes the opportunity to finally confess his feelings to Amanda. Meanwhile, the party unfolds as various characters, including Denise Fleming (Lauren Ambrose) and Kenny Fisher (Seth Green), navigate their own romantic and personal dramas throughout the night.
Can’t Hardly Wait perfectly captured the ’90s fascination with epic teen parties, with a soundtrack including tracks from Blink-182, Third Eye Blind, and Smash Mouth. The movie’s depiction of a chat room romance served as a nod to the growing influence of the internet on our social lives.
She’s All That (1999)MiramaxHigh school heartthrob Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze Jr.) accepts a bet to transform the artsy and not-so-popular Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook) into the prom queen. As Laney undergoes a makeover, unexpected feelings and genuine connections develop.
She’s All That dove into the themes of transformation and authenticity, mirroring the era’s quest for personal growth and genuine connections. Some of the film’s iconic moments, like Freddie Prinze Jr.’s hacky sack performance, were quintessential ’90s pop culture experiences.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena VistaThis modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew follows the headstrong Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) and her sister Bianca (Larisa Oleynik) as they butt heads on the idea of high school romance. Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger) tests Kat’s disdain for conformity when he charms her enough to get her to attend senior prom.
10 Things I Hate About You embodied ’90s teen rebellion and individualism. It celebrated grunge style and popular ’90s music, including tracks like Letters to Cleo’s “Cruel to Be Kind” and Save Ferris’ “I Know.” Kat Stratford’s unapologetic attitude was inspiring and influential. And Heath Ledger’s magnetic performance as Patrick Verona solidified his status as a Hollywood heartthrob.
Varsity Blues (1999)Paramount PicturesIn the small town of West Canaan, Texas, football is everything. Star quarterback Lance Harbor (Paul Walker) faces tremendous pressure from the community and his coach, while backup QB Jon Moxon (James Van Der Beek) questions the town’s obsession with the sport.
Varsity Blues tapped into the ’90s obsession with sports and showcased the pressures high school athletes faced, exploring themes of coming of age and self-discovery.
Cruel Intentions (1999)Sony PicturesIn the seductive world of Manhattan’s elite, step-siblings Kathryn Merteuil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Sebastian Valmont (Ryan Phillippe) engage in a twisted game of sexual conquests and manipulation. Their intricate web of deceit takes an unexpected turn when a virtuous girl, Annette Hargrove (Reese Witherspoon) arrives to challenge their cynical views on love.
Cruel Intentions helped the genre evolve by proving that teen romance stories could be complex and dark, laying the groundwork for shows like Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars. The movie was a reflection of our era’s fascination with complex relationships and moral dilemmas. It delved into themes of power and manipulation, mirroring our growing cynicism. It was a defining film that combined a decadent lifestyle with moral introspection, truly capturing the essence of the late ’90s. And with hits like “Bitter Sweet Symphony” by The Verve and “Praise You” by Fatboy Slim, the soundtrack serves a perfect dose of ’90s nostalgia.
Drive Me Crazy (1999)20th Century FoxWhen their respective romantic plans fall apart, neighbors and former childhood friends Nicole Maris (Melissa Joan Hart) and Chase Hammond (Adrian Grenier) decide to pretend to date. But what starts as a charade soon leads to real emotions.
Drive Me Crazy is set against the backdrop of Y2K, a time when the world was bracing for potential chaos as the new millennium approached. It captured the anticipation and excitement we all felt in 1999. And it also showcased the growing influence of the internet on relationships, with the characters engaging in online chat room romance, subtly mirroring the era’s budding digital age.
American Pie (1999)Universal PicturesFour high school friends make a pact to lose their virginity by prom night. This raunchy yet heartwarming comedy explores their comical mishaps and the bonds of friendship during this pivotal moment in their lives.
American Pie brought a new level of raunchy humor to the teen comedy genre. It was unapologetically bold, pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable on the big screen at the time.
The film’s iconic moments, such as the infamous pie scene, have become emblematic of ’90s comedy. American Pie symbolized the era’s willingness to embrace a new level of irreverence and authenticity in storytelling. It also set the stage for a wave of raunchy comedies in the 2000s, including the American Pie sequels and movies like Superbad and The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Blake Lively is having both an amazing month and a horrendous one. The good: her new movie “It Ends With Us” is crushing it at the box office. The bad? People are really angry about the way she’s been handling the marketing for this film. There also seems to be some drama between her and her costar/director of the film Justin Baldoni. The drama and her off-putting behavior is making headlines for all the wrong reasons and overshadowing the important message of the film, which is about domestic violence.
I’m not here to rip on Blake. I could never fathom the pressure that comes with being a celebrity and having so many people scrutinizing your behavior. But I do think we can learn a lot from this whole ordeal and use it to better ourselves and our lives and learn how to be more likable and successful.
Here they are:
1. Don’t Make Everything About YouIf you’re constantly making every conversation or interaction about yourself, people are going to notice—and they’re not going to like it. Blake has faced backlash because she’s been turning every interview question into an opportunity to showcase her own greatness. This self-centered approach is one of the most off-putting traits a person can have. Remember, people appreciate humility and genuine interest in others far more than a constant need for self-promotion.
2. Read the Freakin’ RoomWhen someone brings up something heavy or significant, meet them on their level. Dismissing or downplaying serious issues doesn’t just make you seem out of touch; it can also come across as insensitive or even disrespectful. Blake’s inability to respond appropriately to serious topics and turning everything into a joke or an opportunity for self-promotion has been a major factor in her current backlash. It’s a reminder that being present and empathetic in your interactions is key to maintaining respect and connection.
3. Nothing Lasts ForeverBlake Lively has been beloved by the public for years, enjoying a rare spot in the limelight with minimal controversy. But this recent backlash reminds us that nothing lasts forever—not even a spotless reputation. In life, we cycle between ups and downs, and it’s crucial to recognize that neither the good times nor the bad times are permanent.
When you’re riding high, it’s easy to feel like you’re untouchable, but success can be fleeting. That’s why it’s important to stay humble and grounded, no matter how good things seem. On the flip side, when you’re going through tough times, it’s just as important to remember that this, too, shall pass. Life is full of ebbs and flows, and resilience comes from understanding that every high and low is temporary.
Whether you’re in a peak or a valley, the key is to navigate each with grace, knowing that change is always around the corner.
4. Perfection is an Illusion.Blake’s image as a perfect, untouchable celebrity may have contributed to the intensity of the backlash. When someone is perceived as flawless for too long, the public often waits for them to slip up. This situation highlights the importance of embracing authenticity over perfection. Show your human side—flaws and all—because trying to maintain a perfect image can set you up for harsher judgment when things don’t go as planned.
I think people also just expected too much from her. Up until now we never really heard her talk so much and that created a lot of blank space for people to fill in. Her image was so perfect up until this point which is why so many were shocked to see her very real human side, with flaws galore!
5. Be Nice. To really know someone’s character, you have to look at how they treat everyone, not just those closest to them or who they can benefit from. There have been a lot of clips circulating of Blake being rude to reporters and acting like a mean girl and it’s off-putting and says a lot about her character. There is never an excuse to be rude to someone or treat them like they are beneath you. If you feel the need to act that way, it’s important to look at what you’re trying to compensate for and what pain you are avoiding facing…as the saying goes, hurt people, hurt people.
It Ends With Us is the hot topic in Hollywood right now. Starring Blake Lively as Lily Bloom and Justin Baldoni as Ryle Kincaid, It Ends With Us is based on the book of the same name by Colleen Hoover about Lily moving to Boston to open her own business. She wants to escape her hometown to leave her abusive past, and it’s her lifelong dream to open her own business and all of the pride that comes along with being a business owner. Lily doesn’t expect to meet a super charming neurosurgeon named Ryle. The two of them meet and fall in love very quickly, but all is not as it seems. Lily is expeditiously reminded of growing up around her parents’ marriage and becomes stuck in an incredibly toxic relationship engulfed in domestic violence.
If you haven’t read the book, walking into this movie, you would assume it was a cutesy rom-com based on the marketing for It Ends With Us. Audiences have been shocked at how different the movie is portrayed within trailers and marketing materials in comparison to the scenes of emotional and physical abuse endured by Lily. There has even been speculation of Justin Baldoni being chauvinistic and making Lively uncomfortable on set, so all around, It Ends With Us could’ve done a few things better to accurately portray what people were walking into the theaters to see. While there are some positives, It Ends With Us continues to push the sensationalism of domestic violence to make those types of relationships seem romantic. Let’s take a look at some things that It Ends With Us does that may trigger survivors.
It’s Not As Easy To LeaveThe age old question that many people speculate upon when examining domestic violence is “why did they stay?” The question can fill a survivor with guilt as they knew how hard it was to leave, but for anyone who hasn’t experienced it, it’s impossible to describe. According to many different domestic violence and abuse centers, it takes someone an average of 7 times to leave their abuser. After each attempt to leave, violence typically escalates as well, putting the victim at a greater risk for violence. In the movie, Lily calmly tells Ryle that she is leaving him after she gives birth to their daughter. Ryle receives this pretty well as he just kind of walks off into the distance after being told.
Things Don’t Go Back To Picture Perfect When You Do LeaveAfter Ryle walks away from Lily without any continued violence, Lily continues on with her life and its almost as if none of the physical and emotional abuse happened. She is happy and moving on with her life and its as if Ryle was just a really bad fever dream for her. This is not always the case. In fact, the National Domestic Violence Hotline names the most violent time for a victim is after they leave their abuser. Its in this time that stalking, threats, and potentially even more violence will occur. The abuser misses that power dynamic they have over their victim and will do anything to get it back. In It Ends With Us, Lily walks away scot-free and moves on with her life. This can be incredibly triggering to a survivor who has endured the post-leave violence and fear.
Hollywood Romanticizes Abuse As PassionIn the beginning of Ryle and Lily’s relationship, he is relentless. Despite explaining to her that he is a player and doesn’t want to commit, he continues to go after her and almost tries to convince her to give him a shot by ignoring every boundary she has set. To Lily, this looks like an act of love and passion. This is actually love-bombing and It Ends With Us doesn’t call it that at all. Hollywood has a way of making this love-bombing phase, which is a form of power control and abuse, into something to be desired. It’s as if the one being pursued should fall to the pursuer’s knees because they’re trying so hard and like them so much.
Once the abuser gets their victim, that’s when the gaslighting begins. Ryle does this to Lily by convincing her of certain things being accidents or him expressing that his outburst was just “passion”. That’s a big buzzword for masking what abuse can actually be. If an abuser yells or gets outwardly jealous or has fits of rage, Hollywood will frame it as passion to make it more palatable for the watcher. Everyone wants passion, so call anything passion and it gets a pass.
It Ends With Us had a perfect opportunity to address domestic violence and abuse and bring awareness and attention to something so rampant, but it fell a little short. If you are planning on seeing It Ends With Us and you have any experience of physical or emotional abuse, it may be a hard watch, so it’s best to be honest about your current mental and physical state before purchasing a ticket or eventually streaming it from home. It Ends With Us is less of a rom-com, and more of a heartbreaking tale that may feel too reminiscent of a real-life scenario.
It Ends With Us is in theaters and is set to be released for streaming in the near future.
Here is a common relationship misconception: A lot of people believe they will get what they give. So you invest in him with your whole heart, you prioritize him, you give it your all, and you expect that he’ll do the same… but usually, the opposite happens. He continues to throw bare minimum scraps your way and you cling to them desperately, hoping that one day he’ll give you something a little more hearty.
You end up in a lopsided relationship where you’re doing all the work and you are just way more in it than he is. You want it to work with him, but you also want to be treated like a priority instead of an afterthought.
So let’s talk about what that entails.
First, let’s talk about some signs that you aren’t his priority.
Why You Aren’t His Priority1. He’s in and out of your life.Maybe you call this being wishy-washy or hot and cold or sending mixed messages, either way, the message is clear: you’re not his priority.
One of the most definitive signs a man really likes a woman and is invested in her is he’s consistent. He doesn’t leave any open space for some other guy to steal her away, or for her to question how he feels and move on.
2. He doesn’t make plans in advance.If you try to make a plan with him he won’t give you a definitive answer and he frequently makes plans with you last minute. He’s probably just exploring other options and when nothing better presents itself, he’s wide open and ready for you.
3. You’re doing all the work.You mostly initiate calls and texts, you come up with fun date ideas, you’re doing it all and he’s just along for the ride.
4. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship.Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone right now, maybe he just doesn’t want a relationship with you, but if he says this, just take it at face value. It’s possible he does really like you, he just has so much else going on that he has nothing to give. Don’t devalue yourself by accepting the bare minimum.
5. He doesn’t do anything to make you feel special.If he doesn’t really do much aside from showing up and going through the motions, then he isn’t invested or prioritizing you.
So what now? You realized you’re an option and you want to be a priority. How can you turn the tables?
Turn the Tables1. Don’t be afraid to leave.What keeps us in relationships that are beneath us is fear. Maybe fear of being alone… fear you won’t find better … fear of making the wrong choice…
You need to silently carry the conviction that if this relationship doesn’t match your standards, you will leave. And you are not afraid of leaving because you know you’ll find better. And if you don’t feel this way, you need to get to the root of the self-esteem issues driving this behavior.
If a man knows you’re not going anywhere, then he’s not motivated to give you that priority treatment. That’s just human behavior. We want maximum reward for minimum effort. You’re giving the reward, and he’s giving the minimum effort.
You need to set your intention. Figure out what it is you want, recognize you deserve to have it, and stop settling for what falls short.
2. Establish depth of connection.One main area men look at when at in deciding whether you’re “just a girl” or “the girl” comes down to depth of connection.
What blocks you from having this is our good old friend Fear again. When you’re afraid of losing him or of him leaving you, then you are in this hypervigilant mode of looking for signs and analyzing behaviors and you just can’t connect this way.
When your sense of self-esteem is shaky, then you will be interacting with him like an object instead of a person, he is there to fill your self-esteem tank, to help you feel worthy and validated. Again, you can’t connect this way.
The way to form a true connection is to just be present and to just be. You have to let go of your fears because if you are afraid of being hurt, you won’t be able to be truly vulnerable and open.
Here is how to know if you have a depth of connection:
- He talks to you about his problems and the stresses he deals with, he doesn’t hide behind a “got-it-all-together” persona.
- He shows his real emotions.
- You know things about him that no one else does, things you can’t discover on his social media pages.
- He has immersed you in his life and immersed himself in yours. He doesn’t just want you to meet his friends and family, he wants you to bond with them in a meaningful way. And he makes an effort to bond with your people in a meaningful way.
- He talks about the future with you in a real, concrete way- not just making abstract, fantasy-fueled plans,
It really comes down to this: is he his full, true, authentic self with you?
If he’s not, then work on dropping your guard a bit, releasing your fears, and just focusing on the connection.
3. Let him know what it is you want!So many women are afraid to speak up and express their needs for fear of coming across too needy.
But here’s the thing- owning what you want isn’t neediness. Accepting what you don’t want for fear of rocking the boat is needy behavior. Neediness is valuing someone else’s perception of you over your own. So the needy person desperately needs their partner to respond a certain way, otherwise, they will suffer. They are on an endless quest for validation but it’s never enough.
If you want certain things from him, try just telling him. It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it that makes a difference.
If you need him to plan dates in advance, then tell him. Don’t do it in a shaming, demanding, blaming way, just confidently express that’s something you need.
You also have a right to know where your relationship stands, so stop being so afraid of rocking the boat. If he’s been intentionally leaving things vague and undefined, and what you want is a commitment, then express that to him and don’t accept his non-answers abut the status of your relationship. And don’t delude yourself either, if he’s leaving things vague, it’s because he wants to have that freedom to do what he wants without technically doing anything wrong.
If expressing your needs makes you anxious or nervous, then look at that a little closer. Is it coming from you, or do you know deep down that he just isn’t on the same page as you and you’re scared to hear it from his mouth and eliminate all doubt?
Remember, if you have to monitor your behavior around a guy so carefully, he probably isn’t the right guy for you
4. Pull back.If you aren’t being treated like a priority, sometimes all it takes is pulling back a bit in order to galvanize his interest and get him to step up once again.
Pulling back is especially important if the dynamic in your relationship is one where you’re doing all the work. You’ve been initiating most of the texts and most of the plans.
Just step back a bit and see what happens. If he really likes you, he’s not going to just let you fade into the abyss, he will step up!
I’m not saying be mean or punishing. Just focus on yourself a little more and focus on him a less and see what happens.
5. Don’t commit to him until he has committed to you.This is probably one of the most essential relationship rules, at least in the early phases before things are defined. Committing yourself to him too soon will throw the dynamic off and it’s not going to get you the commitment you want.
Don’t act like his girlfriend until you are his girlfriend. Don’t close yourself off from other prospects, and don’t delete your dating apps. Keep yourself open to other possibilities. This will just help you have a more relaxed attitude about the whole thing and he will sense that he doesn’t fully have you and could potentially lose you which will motivate him to give you that priority treatment (and commitment, soon after!).
6. Prioritize yourself.You do not become a priority to him by making him your priority, you get it by prioritizing yourself!
There is nothing interesting about someone who is always available and waiting in the wings. It’s also not interesting when he is the best thing you have going on in your life. You should make an effort to have a full, fulfilling, well-rounded life with many sources of happiness.
Don’t wait for him to put you first. Make your happiness your priority and fill your time with things that bring you joy. When you do, he will most likely rise up to match. And if he doesn’t, he was never into it enough in the first place.
If someone had mentioned Glen Powell to me two years ago, I would’ve drawn a total blank. I took no notice of the Trader #1 character he played in 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises, and I never saw the 2015 dark comedy slasher series Scream Queens, in which he played the prominently featured Chad Radwell. These days, the actor is mentioned in or interviewed by almost every publication in the world.
Early Beginnings and Breakthrough RolesParamount PicturesPowell’s career officially began at the age of 13 when he landed a minor role in the movie Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over. He went on to appear in various films and television shows, albeit in equally small roles. It wasn’t until Tom Cruise convinced him to play Lieutenant Jake “Hangman” Seresin in 2022’s Top Gun: Maverick that Powell really started to get noticed. But the movie that really cemented his place as a leading man was the 2023 sleeper hit Anyone But You, in which he starred opposite Sydney Sweeney.
While Powell’s climb to the top might seem pretty run-of-the-mill, the actor is different from the names that have dominated the headlines over the past decade. Unlike most of his peers, which include all four Hollywood Chris’s (Pine, Hemsworth, Evans, and Pratt) and various others, Powell did not get a career boost by playing a Marvel superhero or appearing in a major franchise like Star Trek. However, it wasn’t for a lack of trying.
The Hidden Blessings of Missed Opportunities According to Powell, he completely tanked his Captain America audition and ruined his chance at landing the lead role in Solo: A Star Wars Story. “I can joke about it now,” the actor told GQ UK. “But I blew that final audition.” Although it felt like the universe was conspiring against him at the time, it may have done him a favor. Realistically speaking, superhero roles can be played by anyone who can memorize lines and don’t require any real acting skills.
As long as someone looks the part, the superhero they embody will elevate their performance because the “costume” is already famous. That’s probably why most actors who’ve taken on these roles fade into relative obscurity after they hang up their super suits. Even when they’re cast in projects of a higher caliber, be it in a major blockbuster or an indie film), the shadow of the superhero they once played looms large. As a result, these actors become tainted by the roles that gave them their biggest paydays.
A Different Path to Stardom Powell, meanwhile, has slogged his way up the acting ladder and forced people to take notice of his talent, even in roles that didn’t do his ability justice. It’s almost like the phrase scene-stealing was created specifically to describe the actor who has a range and depth that’s undeniable. Additionally, Powell managed this feat in an era of instant gratification, when “movie stars” are made by the studios that hire them and not on their own merit.
Potential for Future Hollywood LegendSo it’s not surprising that Powell idolizes Tom Cruise, who is the walking definition of a bona fide leading man who earned his fame without the help of a pre-existing superhero. Powell often recalls the moment he told the Mission Impossible star, “I’m working to try to be you.” As he mentioned to GQ, Cruise doesn’t choose great roles. He chooses great projects and then makes the roles great.
Universal PicturesThe same can be said of Powell, who (I believe) sees potential in the projects he signs up for and works to get his characters noticed. If he manages to maintain his streak of great performances, which includes playing Tyler Owens in the disaster film Twisters, Powell’s rise to fame will be the stuff aspiring actors will look on as Hollywood legend.
If you haven’t seen these movies, can you even call yourself a rom-com fan?
The rivers of rom-coms that once cluttered movie theaters have run dry in recent years. They were such a pillar of entertainment in the past, yet now we have to scrounge for measly morsels of romance wherever we can find them. If you’re a romantic comedy-lover like myself, you’re likely parched and need something new to watch. Luckily there are some underrated romantic comedies of the last two decades that you might not have even heard of. Here are 12 of the best and where you can go to watch each one. (Why not make a rom-com movie marathon out of this?)
Penelope (2006)Summit EntertainmentWhen James McAvoy is tasked with falling in love with the literally cursed Penelope, he has to decide if beauty is only skin deep. If you thought Christina Ricci was adorable now, wait until you see her with a pig nose. I know it sounds weird, but she’s the cutest ever. Watch Penelope on Prime Video and Tubi.
Leap Year (2010)Universal PicturesA woman is set on proposing to her boyfriend by surprising him on his trip to Ireland. When the flight gets messed up, she needs help from a surly native Irishman who scoffs at love to get her to Dublin. This is peak “enemies to lovers” and though Amy Adams’ Anna starts out annoying, her insufferability is worth the journey to get to the end. Watch Leap Year on Amazon Video and Starz.
What’s Your Number? (2011)20th Century FoxWhen Anna Faris reads an article that says women who have had sex with over 20 people are significantly less likely to get married–and she’s already at 19–she gets the help of hot next door neighbor Chris Evans to help her find all the people she’s slept with to see if she can get a second chance at love. This is peak Chris Evans, for all you Captain America girlies. Watch What’s Your Number? on Amazon Video.
The Decoy Bride (2011)CinemaNXAn accomplished author sets out for a remote Scottish island to get married to his movie star girlfriend, but the paparazzi are relentless and now he has to pretend he’s getting married to a beautiful local woman. It’s sweet, cute, and totally under-the-radar. Bonus if you’re a fan of Doctor Who. Watch The Decoy Bride on AMC+.
The Giant Mechanical Man (2012)Tribeca FilmsChris Messina (The Mindy Project) just wants to work as a faux robot on stilts, the kind you see on the sidewalk downtown, moving only when they get a tip. But it isn’t exactly paying the bills, so he gets a job at the zoo, where he meets Jenna Fischer (The Office). It’s not sci-fi, despite the name. Instead, it’s a sweet and realistic view of finding love as a lonely adult. Watch The Giant Mechanical Man on FreeVee, Peacock, and Tubi.
One Small Hitch (2013)Freestyle ReleasingMolly is headed back to her hometown for a family wedding when she runs into her brother’s best friend from high school. As they get into town, they end up falling into a trap that leads them to pretend that they’re engaged to each other. If you’re a fan of romance tropes, this one has a fake fiancé, enemies-to-lover, and brother’s best friend–all incredibly well-done. Watch One Small Hitch on Prime Video, Peacock, and Tubi.
Love, Rosie (2014)LionsgateSam Claflin and Lily Collins (the titular Rosie) are lifelong best friends who are definitely not into each other. No, sir. The film follows the pair as they drift away and come together several times over the years, always gravitating back to each other. It’s criminal that this gem isn’t more widely known. (But you’ll fix that by watching it, right?) Watch Love, Rosie on Amazon Video.
Boy Meets Girl (2014)Wolfe VideoFor the first time, Ricky has met a girl she wants to date. Does her best friend Robby understand the attraction? Not necessarily, but what does he know? This is a super cute romance with a trans main character–something we still haven’t seen enough of. While some of the acting is a little stodgy, it’s still a movie you’ll want to watch again and again. Watch Boy Meets Girl on Prime Video and Tubi.
Two Night Stand (2014)Entertainment OneWhat happens when two people decide to have a one-night-stand but get snowed-in before they can successfully separate after the deed is done? This movie! Taking place across only two days and in mostly only one location, it’ll make you feel cozy and romantic. Best of all, it has Miles Teller pre-Top Gun: Maverick. Watch Two Night Stand on Tubi.
This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)Smudge FilmsBeautiful and quirky Bella just wants to be left alone. Sticking to her routine helps soothe her OCD, but when a colorful cast of characters insist on entering her life, she has to decide if a little discomfort is worth the human connection. If you’re a Fleabag fan, get ready for a seriously great performance by everyone’s favorite priest/single father, Andrew Scott. Watch This Beautiful Fantastic on Prime Video, Peacock, and Tubi.
Plus One (2019)RLJE FilmsFriends Maya Erskine and Jack Quaid are saddled with an exhaustive calendar of weddings for the summer, so they agree to be each others’ plus-ones to make it a bit more tolerable. Everything goes smoothly at first, but as they get closer, tensions are bound to snap. It’s criminal that this gem isn’t more widely known. Criminal! Watch Plus One on Netflix and Hulu.
When it comes to camp classics, some are worthy of a reimagining. That is if those behind the remakes can recreate the same magic.
While cashing in on nostalgia has been Hollywood’s MO as of late — from rebooting age-old sitcoms to creating sequels decades following the original films — some of Tinseltown’s most iconic camp creations have been excluded from this trend. Are they unworthy of the remake renaissance? Or, are filmmakers afraid they won’t be able to recapture the bizarre combination of wackiness and melodrama? The over-the-top acting and narrative absurdity that, oftentimes, is not premeditated but serendipitous. Whatever the cause may be, it’s time some beloved camp movies get to return to the silver screen. Here are the five we want to see and how to do them right.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)20th Century FoxWe’re sorry Fox, but your live version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show — sanitized and stripped of the sexy spark inherent to the Tim Curry-led film — was simply not good enough. The film incongruously aimed to incorporate aspects of both the stage and film versions, leading to a pale imitation of both predecessors.
The film, first off, warrants an R-rating (if the creators yearn to strike the original’s mature-themed appeal). The 1975 film was rated R, and let’s just say PG-13 films were arguably a bit more risque (and lenient) back in the day. Newlyweds stumble upon an eerie mansion filled with an eclectic crew of characters — creepy, cooky, charismatic, and everything in between — and discover a lead scientist who is “making a man with blonde hair and a tan.”
In short, the movie cannot take itself seriously, and it would likely benefit from a drag performer in the leading role — an entertainer accustomed to taking on over-the-top musical performances while retaining an air of exaggeration and DRAMA. The facial expressions need to be larger than life. Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s physicality is everything. The walk. The crossed legs. The raised flirtatious lip. It’s a hyperfeminized delivery with a masculine underlay. In short, Tim Curry is not an easy act to follow. And Janet’s fainting needs to be just as incessant and damsel-in-distress-y as it was decades ago. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a horror musical with Meat Loaf in it… come on. If you think it’s too ridiculous, it’s probably still not ridiculous enough.
While it’s important that any reimagining takes into account the current sociopolitical climate, modernizing the show to account for its regressive aspects, it’s also important to retain the original film’s laissez-faire attitude regarding such matters. This is a balancing act that will not be easy, but it can be done. Did someone say Ryan Murphy?
Death Becomes Her (1992)Universal PicturesNothing beats Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn as frenemies-turned-co-dependent immortals. They take a potion, and they can stay young forever, but they must take care of their bodies. Unfortunately, their rivalry continues post-potion, leading to peeling skin that requires occasional spray painting and limbs that virtually twist and turn every which way. Let’s not forget Madeline (Streep) must untwist her neck — which looks like a squished slinky — after Helen (Hawn) wacks her with a shovel.
Remember when Madeline shoots Helen with a shotgun, leaving a gaping hole in her stomach — perfect for subsequent target practice? And, who could forget Bruce Willis as the manic man caught in between? The overly anxious plastic surgeon at the mercy of their every will and demand.
Death Becomes Her is a campy classic about society’s hyper-fixation on youth and beauty. And, though it sometimes falls short of delivering its deeper thematic messages, it’s a joyride rife with snippy dialogue, sexy and suspicious supporting characters, and mouthwatering melodrama. How about Anne Hathaway takes on Madeline and Amy Addams takes a swing at Helen? Madeline needs to be able to sing, and we all know the Les Miserables and Princess Diaries alumna is more than qualified. And as for Hel, Addams is the redhead to deliver the perfect balance of comedic meets cantankerous.
A combo of Batman Returns (1992) and Batman and Robin (1997)Whatever happened to comic book camp in superhero movies? Nothing against the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s high-octane action spectacles that long for dramatic realness within fantastical narratives. However, can it compete with Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman — clad in tight leather, backflipping her way down alleyways, and uttering lines like “I am catwoman, hear me roar?” Can you even compare the two? The tones are entirely different. However, it’s not just Catwoman, it’s also Poison Ivy in green stockings with fire-red hair dancing at parties and winking at the camera. It’s Danny DeVito as Penguin — perfectly combining manic eccentricity with menace and darkly comedic expressiveness. It’s as if the comic book hops off the page and onto the screen — the same grandiose style and delivery inherent to the source material’s illustrations and dialogue.
We need another Batman movie that aims to strike this chord. A superhero movie that isn’t rife with darkness or bubbling over with testosterone-fueled, “I’m-tough-in-the-face-of-danger humor. Give us pizazz. Give us just a dash of cringe. Give us a sprinkle of foolishness. If you can’t get Tim Burton back, Barry Sonnenfeld may be a good choice for director, as he’s the man behind hits like The Addams Family and Men in Black, which carry a similar aura.
Barbarella (1968)Paramount PicturesTake us back to Planet Lythion in the year 40,000 where Barbarella (Jane Fonda) makes a forced landing while traveling through space. As the movie trailer asserts, “Barbarella is a five-star, double-rated, astronavigatrix earth girl whose specialty is love.” From this gibberish alone, you know you’re getting into some sort of sci-fi absurdity.
The film completely embraces kitsch aesthetics via psychedelic costumes, futuristic sets, and techno props. Not to mention, the film is a masterclass in deadpan delivery, using very tongue-in-cheek dialogue as it mocks the science fiction films (and “space angels”) customary of the time. Casting Barbarella will be no easy feat, as the movie’s cult following will have high standards for Jane Fonda’s successor, but Audrey Plaza seems like a worthy successor — given her flair for deadpan and top-notch comedic timing.
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)Nothing is more camp than exaggerated performances from Hollywood icons at the end of their careers. Bette Davis and Joan Crawford star across from one another in this melodramatic tale of sibling rivalry. Baby Jane (Davis) is a former child star, now a recluse, taking care of her paraplegic sister, Blanche (Crawford). The story is filled with preposterous twists, suspense, and ultra-dramatic arguments — the ones where both parties say and do the unthinkable…over and over again. The film also presents a decadent yet decaying illustration of Hollywood glamor via a dilapidated mansion and Jane’s costumes from yesteryear.
This one will be extremely difficult to recreate in the camp department, as it’s such a product of its time — camp as a result of the actors in it (as well as their behind-the-scenes feuding) and the cinematic stylings of a bygone era. Sassy retorts, dark humor, and lavish set design are good starting points, but recasting Jane and Blance seems almost impossible. Meryl Streep and Jessica Lange seem like the only two with the career histories to carry the original film’s hype and prestige, yet also the talent necessary to morph that ingrained prestige into on-screen parody.
So-called “toxic” women aren’t always actually toxic. While some certainly are, let’s reevaluate the label a little in the context of the patriarchal society we live in. A woman is actually toxic when she lacks empathy, is cruel, is exploitative, manipulative, and deliberately demeaning — that is a narcissistic woman, but she is not the true subject of this article. We certainly don’t want to embody true toxicity or encourage those traits or behaviors. But some of the women men usually label as “toxic” and fall in love with may not be any of these things. Some of these women are labeled “toxic” and “difficult” for all the wrong reasons by low quality men — like standing up for themselves or having basic boundaries, not being submissive enough for a controlling man, or fighting back and defending oneself against mistreatment. Here are the real reasons why men fall in love with so-called “toxic” and “difficult” women, and how you can integrate this knowledge to improve your dating life and protect yourself.
Stop being his peace and start being his problem—and a menace to society. High quality men don’t fall in love with people-pleasing women — they fall in love with “inconvenient” women who make them work hard to earn them. This is part of the dopamine rush for them. Okay, you don’t really have to become a menace to society. I just included that for fun and bonus points. Too often, women are conditioned to center and cater to men in dating and relationships. Studies reveal that people in romantic relationships do not get as much of a dopamine rush from partners who are predictable and consistent – they actually get it from intermittent reinforcement, unpredictability, and hot and cold behavior. That doesn’t mean you have to deliberately be hot and cold or toxic. It simply means that by holding firmly to your standards and centering yourself rather than a man’s existence, you invest more time on yourself, invest less time on your dating partners and become more selective about who you spend on your energy on naturally. Society encourages women in relationships to bend over backwards, spend all their time on chasing men, cook and clean, be the “cool girl,” smile pleasantly while men disrespect you, and sacrifice their dreams and goals all in the pursuit of locking down a man. Once you start decentering men and start centering yourself, your standards, your needs, and your boundaries however, the crucial deprogramming begins — and that is actually when you have the opportunity to draw in high quality partners who actually respect you and get what you want out of a relationship as well.
You have been told your whole life to be a man’s peace — now it’s time to teach yourself how to be okay with being a problem when necessary to hold on to your standards and boundaries. Authentic high-quality men do not fall in love with doting people-pleasers. They fall in love with so-called “inconvenient” women who challenge them to be better men. They want to impress the women they desire, not have one cater to them endlessly. By handing your attention over to a man who has shown you little to no effort, you’ve already convinced him that you are low value and that he is the prize when in reality, you are and he falls way below your standards. A high quality man’s dream woman isn’t constantly validating them — she’s usually not very interested unless he’s actually behaved in a manner that meets her needs and shows consistent, respectful, loving investment in her. When you naturally focus on yourself and stick to your standards, you become that dream woman for you and the rest falls into place in terms of the type of man you attract. As for low-quality men, they will settle for whatever woman gives them the “easiest” experience in a relationship and does the most for him without sacrificing any of their own time, resources, or energy because that is how they get their needs met—but being an easy woman will never give you the relationship you deserve or desire. Even the low-quality men you’re trying to please will still pursue and chase more challenging women when they think you’re not looking because no one can resist the dopamine rush of a woman with emotional mastery who is grounded in who they are, values themselves, and knows what they deserve, isn’t always around to validate a man and expects the best from her relationships.
Boundaries and healthy emotional reactions to disrespect are sexy, not toxic. Stop demonizing them and start validating yourself and keep your options open until you meet the right man.Boundaries are supposed to be in place to keep you safe and protect you from unhealthy men who don’t have your best interests at heart. Your emotions like anger or disappointment are functional, signal when you’re being disrespected, and can be used to fuel you toward cutting off people who don’t belong in your life. Boundaries are not just meant to be verbally communicated but actually enforced in your dating life and relationships. For example, when a man brings up last-minute or low-effort dates, or starts to withhold attention or affection from you, this is the perfect time for the “difficult” woman in you to come out and shine. While you may choose to put him in his place, you’re not going to continue to negotiate, overexplain your emotions, give him more energy than he deserves or try to make things easier for him by helping him and educating him on how to cosplay being a kind, decent, or generous man. They don’t commit early to men who haven’t shown them the same commitment – they keep their options wide open and make sure they have other suitors to compare them to. Ever wonder why toxic partners try to provoke the jealousy of their partners? Research shows it’s because it works to maintain power and control – and sadly, it’s often effective. You don’t have to use this strategy for nefarious reasons, however. You can just acknowledge the value of having other options early on in dating and avoiding commitment in circumstances where you’re not being treated well. Committing early on to a low-effort man is going to reward him with attention and teach him through classical conditioning that he can get away with bad behavior and still reap the reward of continued access to you no matter what he does. Instead, you’re going to present him with healthy consequences and loss of access to you – and now he has to either be as good as your other options or opt out altogether. You’re going to emotionally validate yourself, withdraw your investment from him completely, spend your time focusing on your goals and refocusing on better quality men who do know how to treat you well from the very beginning. You are going to be inconvenient and harder to reach once you see the red flags. “Difficult” women know that the way to weed out low-quality partners from their dating pool is by not accepting less than their standards and not giving more effort to a man who isn’t giving you effort or being mindful of what would please you. If that makes you “toxic,” so be it.
Raise your standards and stop being afraid of being single until you meet your dream match. Use singlehood as a period to level up, become self-focused, and glow up in all parts of your life. Men shoot for the stars, and yet you keep lowering the bar.Have you ever wondered why low-quality men benefit from movies that promote the pretty and high-achieving woman getting together with a man who may not be as up to par in terms of looks, finances, personality or whatever other traits you deem important? Or why low-quality men benefit from single-shaming women while praising men for being bachelors? Psychology tells us that “negging” – lowering a woman’s perceived value through backhanded comments – can work to an extent to cause a woman to shed their standards more and become more receptive to romantic advances. It is this double standard that allows those men to pursue attractive, intelligent, successful women well out of their league on a regular basis without any qualms, all while making women who fit this category feel obligated to not be as shallow or stringent about their own standards and expectations. Basically, low-quality men and society have been “negging” you for your entire life and trying to convince you to lower your standards by fear-mongering you about being single and not settling. It’s time to change that.
You’re not toxic or single because you’re too “picky” — you’re intelligent enough not to settle just to have a relationship. It is very easy for the average man to feel entitled to the most beautiful, intelligent, and successful woman in the room because he’s been conditioned by society and by the media to feel like he deserves access to her. Meanwhile, you as a woman have been conditioned to feel not enough when you’re likely overqualified in all aspects and likely deserve so much better than the man you’re settling for just in hopes of a relationship. Take time to enjoy your own company and work on leveling up in other aspects of your life, not just your dating life. Supercharge your health regimen or fitness routine, take charge of your finances, pursue your education, expand your travels, meet like-minded friends, glow up physically and mentally, chase your dreams and chase anything but a man. A well-rounded woman who is self-focused in healthy ways is not toxic—she is attractive and alluring, and as a cherry on top, she draws in high-quality men who want to pursue her and add pleasure, value, and adventure to her life because these men know they have to work hard to even be a point of focus to her.
Do you want to be an unhappily married woman or a lonely woman in a relationship who settled for less, or do you want to be a peaceful and happy woman with a chance of having healthy love? If you want the latter, it’s time to stop being a man’s peace just to maintain a toxic relationship and start making peace with not settling for less. Being happily single, prioritizing yourself, and healthily self-focused is not anything to be ashamed of—on the contrary, it means you should be proud you have standards. It means you’re exclusive and not for everyone to access. It means you date high-quality men and reserve your energy and time for partners who are actually compatible, and match you in your core values, strengths, and drive. It means you avoided marrying the wrong person just to say you’re married, which can have lifelong detrimental effects. It means you did not stay in toxic or unhealthy or even just plain incompatible relationships just to say you have a boyfriend. It means you did not settle just to settle down. It means you were not docile enough to please a controlling man. It means your boundaries are working beautifully to protect you from people who would deter you from achieving your dreams and hold you back from the love you deserve. It means you have more peace and joy in your life than a woman whose life-course trajectory has been shaped and molded by a toxic man. It means you get to become the peace for yourself—and that anyone who wants entry to your life has to add value to it in order to stay. That’s not toxic, that’s intelligent and discerning. Never let a toxic man or a delusional society negotiate you out of your standards just to settle for a subpar relationship that doesn’t meet your needs when there are even low-quality men out there who have loving, doting partners they don’t even appreciate. Many men feel entitled to their dream woman—you deserve your dream man and your dream life.
There’s a reason HBO has become one of the most beloved entertainment platforms in contemporary pop culture. Since the late 1990s, the network has made a name for itself as a reliable provider of premium content, whether discussing an early classic like The Sopranos or a more recent success like House of the Dragon.
As the end of the year approaches, it seems like HBO’s immediate future is brighter than ever, with 2025 promising to be another exciting year for the lauded television network. From bone-chilling horror series to ambitious fantasy epics, here is every new series arriving on HBO in 2025.
It: Welcome to DerryHBOStephen King fans, rejoice! Nearly six years after the release of 2019’s It: Part II, Andy Muschietti’s hit horror adaptation will see a brand-new continuation with It: Welcome to Derry. Though details about the prequel series have been relatively scarce, we do know that Bill Skarsgård is set to return to his breakthrough role as Pennywise the Dancing Clown – which is reason enough to be excited about this 2025 horror series.
A Knight of the Seven KingdomsHBOThe third adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s ever-growing Game of Thrones universe, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms adapts Martin’s Tales of Dunk and Egg novella series for the small screen. Set 100 years after House of the Dragon and a little less than a century before Game of Thrones, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms focuses on the budding friendship between ordinary knight Sir Duncan the Tall and his Targaryan squire, Aegon (more affectionately known by his nickname, Egg).
The White Lotus Season 3HBORoughly two years after the release of The White Lotus season 2, HBO’s sharply-written dark comedy returns with its highly anticipated third season. Transporting viewers to the tropical paradise of Thailand, The White Lotus’s upcoming season boasts yet another all-star ensemble cast, including such celebrated actors as Leslie Bibb, Carrie Coon, Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Michelle Monaghan, and Parker Posey, among many others.
The Last of Us Season 2HBOHaving earned avid acclaim for its lauded first season, expectations are higher than ever for The Last of Us’s season 2. If the inaugural season was any indication, though, The Last of Us’s second season is likely to be every bit as enthralling as its first. Using 2020’s The Last of Us Part II as its primary source of inspiration, the show’s new season will incorporate various characters and storylines from the original game, including Kaitlyn Dever’s vengeful Abby and Jeffrey Wright’s jaded military leader, Isaac.
The Gilded Age Season 3HBOThose interested in seeing the opulent exploits of the nouveau riche Russell family won’t have to wait much longer, with the third season of The Gilded Age expected to drop some time next year. As with each of its previous seasons, The Gilded Age seems destined to continue its careful recreation of 1880s New York City, right down to its in-depth examination of wealth, class, and the ongoing cultural conflicts between old and new money.
And Just Like That… Season 3HBOA sequel continuation of HBO’s successful comedy Sex and the City, And Just Like That… continues the romantic misadventures of Sarah Jessica Parker’s lovable misfit, Carrie Bradshaw. As with its preceding two seasons, And Just Like That… will continue to explore the challenges Carrie and her friends face as they grapple with relationships in their 50s, carrying on after Carrie’s cathartic heart-to-heart with Aiden in the series’ season 2 finale.
DusterHBOAs of yet, information surrounding HBO’s upcoming crime series Duster have been kept mostly under wraps. Created by J.J. Abrams and LaToya Morgan, what we do know is that the series is set in 1972, specifically following the F.B.I.’s first Black female agent as she investigates a Southwestern criminal organization. In addition, Abrams’ previous collaborator, Josh Holloway, has been cast in a lead role, alongside Rachel Hilson, Camille Guaty, Greg Grunberg, and Keith David.
The PittHBOAfter making a name for himself in NBC’s iconic series E.R., Noah Wyle returns to the medical drama genre with his latest series, The Pitt. Set in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, The Pitt bills itself as a more realistic exploration of the American healthcare system, complete with a nuanced look at the hospital’s various struggling staff members. Though some fans might wish to see more of Wyle’s compassionate Dr. John Carter, it’s worth pointing out that The Pitt is not a spin-off or continuation of E.R., and instead focuses on its own self-contained story.
While it’s much easier to blame other people for everything that goes wrong… sometimes it’s us. Sometimes we’re the problem, we’re the toxic ones. Eek. There’s a truth no one really wants to admit.
First, it’s OK. Pretty much everyone goes through a period of being a little toxic and this isn’t a final destination. You can work on it and improve and get back to a positive, emotionally healthy place.
Whether it’s toxic traits and behaviors or a fully toxic personality, the first step is to identify it, and then you can make a plan to make changes to get yourself on a better path.
First, let’s look at some signs you’re toxic:
1. You aren’t happy for other people ever.If you struggle to feel happy for other people, it indicates you aren’t fulfilled in your own life.
I know how hard it is to be happy for others when life just keeps knocking you down and you can’t seem to get anything right… but being jealous and envious or even upset at someone else’s good fortune just feeds the toxic beast inside you.
When these negative feelings come up, it’s a good opportunity to look within yourself. So you’re upset that your friend got engaged (well you’re also happy for her, but still kind of upset)… ask yourself why? Well, maybe you’re afraid it will never happen for you, that you are destined to be alone.
OK, now go a little deeper. Why do you feel this way? Well… maybe you don’t feel worthy of love because nothing has worked out in the past. Now keep going, really challenge the belief. Can you know for certain that you will end up alone? No, we can’t know that. So why feed into those negative/fearful thoughts? How is that serving you?
You may also not be happy for other people when they get something you already have. Ask yourself why. Well… maybe it’s frustrating to you seeing other people get everything they want so easily when you have to fight tooth and nail for what you want. Keep going… why does that bother you? Well… it seems unfair. Then ask yourself: does it serve you to think that life is unfair? Does that take you anywhere good? And the clear answer is no.
Don’t just let the negativity consume you. Challenge it.
Try to notice when your mind is going down that path and re-direct it. And as best you can, try to see other people’s fortune as motivation and inspiration, rather than a defeat.
They didn’t take anything away from you. They got what they wanted and they probably had many moments of struggle and doubt and eventually, your time will come.
2. You have a problem with everyone.If you have a problem with everyone…. then maybe you’re the problem.
Yes, sometimes we do find ourselves surrounded by awful people, but if this is a constant in your life, then maybe it’s you.
First, like attracts like. Emotionally healthy people attract other emotionally healthy people. If you’re toxic, then you probably will attract toxic people. We all find comfort in the familiar even if it’s bad for us.
You may also seek out certain kinds of people because they validate the way you already feel about yourself. For example, if deep down you don’t feel good enough, you will be drawn to emotionally unavailable partners who treat you like you’re not good enough because they are validating the way you already feel about yourself.
It’s also possible that you aren’t taking responsibility for your own life and your actions and people are reacting to whatever negativity you’re putting out there and this is putting you on the defensive and putting you in victim mode, thinking you’re the innocent one and everyone is out to get you.
3. You can’t accept responsibility.If nothing is ever your fault and someone else is always to blame… well, you may have a personal accountability problem.
Maybe you always need a scapegoat to explain away why your life is the way it is… it’s because all men (or women) are jerks… your parents messed you up… it’s society, it’s the economy, it’s the patriarchy and so forth.
Now I’m not saying there are never external forces… but it can’t ever be only external forces. It can’t be that you are not responsible for anything that happens in your life. It can’t be that you’re never to blame.
Emotionally healthy people can take responsibility for their lives. Toxic people don’t and instead play the victim. And let me tell you, no one likes a victim.
4. You think you know best.Do you find yourself frustrated with the people in your life for making such idiotic choices that you would never make?
Are you overly harsh and critical? Maybe even a little controlling?
This behavior can come about when you feel out of control or frustrated in your own life.
Maybe you think you know best, but you also have to have empathy and recognize it’s not always so easy for people to change. It’s not always so easy to leave that relationship or that job or to stand up for yourself to family members.
You probably have your own experience of this so you should be able to recognize and have compassion when someone else is struggling in that area. The fact is, you’re probably more mad at yourself than at them for struggling in the same areas of life.
5. You aren’t nice.As the saying goes… hurt people hurt people.
Are you a nice person? Or are you mean, nasty, quick-tempered, bitter, jealous, and spiteful?
Do you easily lash out at everyone around you? Are you rude and snappy with people most of the time? Are you constantly judging and rolling your eyes?
These behaviors come from a place of feeling hurt internally. So take a closer look at that- where is this really coming from?
Make an effort to be nicer to people in your life, from loved ones to cab drivers. This will make you feel better about yourself and will change how people respond to you which will steer your life in a more positive direction.
6. You’re an emotional vampire.Emotional vampires tend to drain the emotional energy out of everyone they interact with.
They basically treat other people like emotional dumping grounds. They don’t really care what other people are going through, it’s all about them and their problems and their needs.
They have an excessive need for validation and rely on others to make them feel good about themselves. They expect other people to always be there for them even if they don’t return the favor and when people stop responding to them, they feel hurt and offended, believing others are out to get them or just don’t understand them… that people are bad and will always screw them over.
Healthy relationships are reciprocal and because emotional vampires have nothing to give, people don’t stick around for very long. And a lot of the time they lack the self-awareness to realize it’s the result of their behavior.
If this description is hitting a little too close to home, then start by looking at what you can give to a person instead of what you can get. You also need to address your lack of self-esteem because that is usually the source of it all.
7. You think you’re toxic.Deep down… you usually already know the truth. If you suspect you’re toxic, then it’s very possible you are. Maybe you’re not a toxic person, but it’s possible that you’re exhibiting toxic traits that need to be managed.
Either way, something is going on that’s hindering you from being your best self.
How to Improve:A lot of the time people become toxic as a result of being hurt in the past, maybe by their parents, friends, or in romantic relationships. First, recognize the source (or sources) or your pain, acknowledge it, and then work on healing those parts.
Some people can do this on their own through self-help books, journaling or meditation, others may need to work with a therapist or coach. Either way, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge so stop sweeping it under the rug and just face it.
Take responsibility for what you can control. Just this alone will alleviate some of your toxicity! You can’t control other people or what happened in the past, you can only control yourself and how you react to things. You can control the meaning you ascribe to events. You can control how you interact with yourself and with others. So take ownership of those things.
Also, try and practice gratitude. Yes I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s very hard to be bitter and mean and angry when you’re coming from a place of gratitude. Chances are, when you take a closer look at your life you’ll realize it’s not so bad and you actually do have a lot to be thankful for.
Start small and try to just acknowledge one thing you’re grateful for each day. It’s even better if you write it down and also if you come up with something new every day.
Fede Álvarez’s Alien: Romulus brings the franchise back to its horror roots, but it also pays homage to the most controversial aspects of it. Here’s our review.
For many fans, the Alien franchise officially ended after James Cameron’s Aliens. Everything that came afterward never felt like it matched the standard of the first two films as the story ventured into strange terrains. Never mind Ridley Scott’s much talked-about prequels, Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, that seemed obsessed with philosophical metaphors and the creation (as well as the meaning) of life. Consequently, the anticipation for the Ellen Ripley-less Alien: Romulus was about as high as a Chihuahua looking forward to a bath.
Against all odds, though, filmmaker Fede Álvarez manages to create a standalone film within a larger universe that respects the past and pushes the ideas further. Make no mistake about it: The final act polarizes, but it showcases how Álvarez paid attention to every minute detail of the films that came before his own. In fact, Alien: Romulus might be the missing link that helps to change the sentiment of everything released post-Aliens.
Alien: Romulus boasts less lore, but more goreTaking place between the events of Alien and Aliens, Alien: Romulus tells the story of a group of young colonists – Tyler (Archie Renaux), Bjorn (Spike Fearn), Kay (Isabela Merced), Navarro (Aileen Wu), Rain (Cailee Spaeny), and Andy (David Jonsson) – who dream of a better life. When they find out about an abandoned space station, they explore it for cryo chambers and fuel as they plot a course to a new planet to call home. Unfortunately, they also learn that anything associated with the Weyland-Yutani Corporation is bound to feature a Xenomorph or two – or a hundred – on board.
Alien: Romulus refuses to complicate the setup, taking the premise back to the start in a similar manner as Ridley Scott’s Alien while upping the stakes. The colonists on board the space station aren’t Colonial Marines or a highly trained space crew; they’re ordinary young adults trapped in an isolated setting with not one but many creatures. Their only mission is to find a way out of danger. It’s a simple but effective throwback to the film that Scott once famously pitched as “Jaws in space.”
Rather than drift too far into the sci-fi or action genres, Fede Álvarez applies the original horror sensibility from Alien to Alien: Romulus. He values terror through what can’t be seen and when evil shows its face, he utilizes mostly practical effects to showcase how devastating and ruthless these creatures can be. Anyone who has watched Álvarez’s 2013 adaptation of Evil Dead also knows he isn’t afraid to amp up the gore factor, and he does the same here with a number of squeamish scenes that turn the stomach.
The film doesn’t wreak havoc across the timelineThe Alien timeline spans centuries. Since Alien: Romulus doesn’t take place in chronological order, it slots in between the first two films where not much had been revealed about the Xenomorphs or Weyland-Yutani yet. However, this doesn’t change the fact that the other movies have established lore that filmmakers must keep in the back of their minds since it’s now canon. Resultantly, this leaves Fede Álvarez in a pickle since he can’t show the blatant knowledge of future developments in the story, but he needs to abide by the timeline’s rules.
For the most part, Alien: Romulus gets it right, though there are one or two slip-ups here. That said, Álvarez lays the impressive groundwork for the chronological sequels by touching upon key events that might not have been shown before but would help to fill certain narrative gaps – especially in terms of how far along Weyland-Yutani is in messing with Xenomorph DNA.
Unquestionably, Álvarez and his co-writer Rodo Sayagues understand the Alien lore inside and out, as they not only find a way to connect their own threads to the sequels but also the prequels. Case in point: The title of the film. With the space station featuring two sections known as Romulus and Remus, Álvarez and Sayagues take a page out of Ridley Scott’s philosophical book to equate the humans and creatures as brothers of sorts. In the mythology, Romulus kills Remus to take the empire of Rome. The analogy works here, establishing the fractured relationship between the humans and aliens and how they can’t coexist. In the end, one must die for the other to rule. The question is: Who is Romulus and who is Remus in this scenario?
A controversial tip of the hat to Alien ResurrectionThe Jean-Pierre Jeunet-directed Alien Resurrection proves to be one of the most controversial entries in the franchise – mostly due to its divisive third act that sees the rise of a Newborn, a hybrid between human and alien. The more that one thinks about it, though, the more the concept makes sense. As the films demonstrate, the DNA of the creatures evolve with every other organism they infect. With all of Weyland-Yutani and United Systems Military’s tinkering, it’s only logical that a monstrosity like the Newborn would be an inevitable result of science and evolution. However, since humans are human and never consider the consequences of their actions, it becomes something of an Oppenheimer situation where people create the very weapon to destroy everything.
Without going into too many spoilers, Alien: Romulus‘ third act explores the melting point of evolution and science in much the same way as Alien Resurrection. Again, touching upon the concept of Romulus and Remus, it questions if humans and aliens can work together to become a superpower rather than foes. Weyland-Yutani certainly believes so, but those fools can’t even be trusted with organizing a Pizza Friday for their employees.
Undoubtedly, the finale of Alien: Romulus divides the audience right down the middle. Those who appreciate how it ties into the bigger picture will love the nod to Resurrection, while others might have hoped to see it avoid one of the franchise’s most controversial films. Even so, no one can deny that Alien: Romulus respects every aspect of what came before it – for better or worse. It’s the ultimate love letter written both in blood and acid.
You have to wait a little longer for School Spirits Season 2. Here’s what to watch in the meantime.
Have you heard the good news yet? The Paramount+ ghostly teen mystery series that got so many of us hyped this spring–myself included–is getting a second season. School Spirits, about a teen girl who must solve her own death from beyond the grave, ended in a wild cliffhanger. Honestly, if they hadn’t gotten a second season, there would rightfully be riots. (And you should go back and watch season one on Paramount+ and Netflix to see what all the hype is about.)
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Josh Zuckerman (@zuckermanjosh)
But the second season survived last year’s writing and acting strikes and is back on! According to the above Instagram post from Josh Zuckerman (who plays Mr. Martin), School Spirits season 2 comes out this fall. So, while you wait, here are some other things you can binge instead. We’re talking teen-focused mystery shows and movies with spooky vibes–and I’ll tell you exactly where to stream them.
One Of Us Is Lying (2021 -)PeacockBased on the wildly successful YA novel by Karen M. McManus, One Of Us Is Lying follows a group of teens suspected of murder after one of them dies during detention. It’s literally The Breakfast Club if one of the brooding teen characters had died while everyone was eating their bag lunches. Watch One Of Us Is Lying on Peacock.
Cruel Summer (2021 -)Entertainment OneCruel Summer features a different story for each season. The first follows a pair of friends in the 1990s after one disappears through mysterious circumstances. The second season, currently airing now, has friendship and murder in small-town Washington in the early 2000s. Watch Cruel Summer on Hulu.
Pretty Little Liars (2010 – 2017)Warner Horizon TelevisionWe don’t have a release date for School Spirits season two yet, so it’ll definitely be a while. Might as well watch something nice and long while you wait, like 160 episodes of O.G. teen mystery thriller, Pretty Little Liars. Still got time? Watch one of its many spin-offs. Watch Pretty Little Liars on Hulu and Max.
Lockwood & Co. (2023)NetflixHere’s the supernatural take you’ve been hoping for. Lockwood & Co. is set in an alternate London where ghosts are real and teens are the only ones who can battle them. It’s like Stranger Things meets Nancy Drew…and we love it. Watch Lockwood & Co. on Netflix.
Enola Holmes (2020)NetflixIf you like Sherlock Holmes but wish he was actually a teen girl, you’re in luck. Enola Holmes follows his erstwhile teen sister (played by Millie Bobby Brown) as she solves mysteries in old-school London. There’s also a sequel that came out in 2022, so you’ve got two mystery movies to watch. Watch Enola Holmes on Netflix.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)A24Why not add a horror comedy to your list, while you’re at it? A group of young people meet up at a house party and decide to play a game of hide and seek–called, you guessed it, Bodies Bodies Bodies. Unfortunately, a real killer is on the list. Who could it be? Will anyone survive? Watch Bodies Bodies Bodies on Netflix and Showtime.
Like Spider-Man: No Way Home before it, Deadpool & Wolverine is a superhero fan’s ultimate dream come true. A nostalgic love letter to various pre-MCU franchises and properties, the 34th entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe also proves every bit as fantastic as the previous two Deadpool films. Seizing advantage of its sprawling canonical universe (or rather, in this case, alternative universes), Ryan Reynolds and team never wastes an opportunity to make some kind of reference to Marvel’s intricate past.
Of course, for every surprise cameo from Blade, Elektra, Gambit, or Johnny Storm, several lesser-known references in Deadpool & Wolverine go soaring by without most audience members noticing. From villainous returns to alternative versions of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, here are some of the many references viewers might have missed in Deadpool & Wolverine.
Short WolverineOne of the first Wolverine variants Deadpool comes across in the film appears as a comically short version of the famous X-Men hero. Though it’s certainly hilarious seeing Hugh Jackman shrunken down from his natural height of 6 ‘2, this undersized Wolverine is actually a reference to the character’s comic-accurate height of 5’ 3. Despite his rather short stature, though, it’s clear that this comic-accurate Wolverine is every bit as feisty as his far taller cinematic counterpart.
Wolverine vs. The HulkIt might be somewhat hard to believe, but Wolverine wasn’t always the grizzled comic book hero fans know and love. In his earliest inception, the character was actually introduced as a adversary of the Hulk, leading to his initial appearance in 1974’s The Incredible Hulk #180. Sporting a brown and tan costume and going mano a mano with Bruce Banner’s fiery-tempered alter ego, this original incarnation of Wolverine turns up as Deadpool searches for a potential variant to bring into his universe.
Age of Apocalypse WolverineAffectionately dubbed “Glam Rock Wolverine” by casual viewers, the unkempt Wolverine that Deadpool encounters near the beginning of the film is actually a careful recreation of Age of Apocalypse’s Wolverine variant. In this timeline, Charles Xavier’s son, Legion, has gone back in time and accidentally killed his father, allowing Apocalypse to seize control of the Earth 10 years earlier than expected. With the planet left in shambles, Earth’s heroes were reduced to shadows of their former selves, with Wolverine in particular becoming an animalistic vigilante known as Weapon X.
The BlobIf you look closely at the various minions in Cassandra’s employ, you might spot a few familiar faces from Marvel’s cinematic past. Along with a returning Pyro, Sabretooth, Toad, and Juggernaut, one key cameo viewers might notice is the X-Men villain, The Blob, who appears in several scenes set at Cassandra’s Void fortress. A variant of Kevin Durand’s Blob from X-Men Origins: Wolverine, this version of Fred Dukes seemingly acts as a muscled-up enforcer for Cassandra’s ragtag mutant group.
The RussianEagle-eyed Deadpool & Wolverine audience members might notice a physically imposing gentleman in a red and white striped tank top wandering around Cassandra’s mutant camp. This character is none other than The Russian, a recurring adversary of The Punisher. A near invincible hitman with a love for American pop culture, this version of The Russian returns to live-action film 20 years after his original debut in 2004’s Punisher film.
Lady DeathstrikeWhile most audience members’ eyes are immediately drawn to the crimson outline of Azazel or the foreboding Juggernaut, it’s also worth highlighting the other villains dwelling within Cassandra’s camp. Among these characters is the razor-fingered Lady Deathstrike, the brainwashed protege of Colonel William Stryker last seen in X2. The twisted successor to Wolverine, Lady Deathstrike underwent the same adamantium-bonding procedure as Logan, outfitting her with adamantium fingernails and a near-unbreakable metallic bone structure.
BullseyeAnother blink-and-you’ll-miss it cameo from 20th Century Fox’s Marvel films, Daredevil’s sworn arch-enemy Bullseye is similarly featured in Deadpool & Wolverine. A background member of Cassandra Nova’s camp, this version of Bullseye bears a strong resemblance to Colin Farrell’s portrayal of the character from 2003’s Daredevil. Dressed in a long leather trench coat and distinctly marked with a target insignia on his forehead, it’s worth wondering if this version of Bullseye is as unhinged as his original cinematic counterpart. (Although it’s safe to say he probably is.)
Stan Lee’s CameoIt wouldn’t be a Marvel movie without a cameo from Stan Lee. While the legendary comic book sadly passed away in 2018, that hasn’t stopped the iconic head of Marvel from appearing in the most surprising of places. In Deadpool & Wolverine, for example, Lee provides the likeness for the Stanlee Steamer advertisement on the city bus through which Deadpool and Wolverine take on the Deadpool Corps. In a touching nod to Lee’s memory, the advertisement even includes the slogan, “Your friendly neighborhood cleaner” – an obvious reference to Spider-Man’s lighthearted moniker.
“Nothing is off-limits if it’s Paul Rudd.”What can we say? Growing up a radical ’90s kid awarded us some fun lessons from movies, and Clueless (1995) is no exception. We got some slang gems like “as if” and a renewed love for plaid skirts–a trend that’s found its way back into the mainstream thanks to ’90s-loving Gen Z. And of course, Clueless started an entire generation’s unwavering love of never-aging hottie Paul Rudd. Though it was just a simple rom-com based off Jane Austen’s Emma, it was so thoroughly jam-packed with love lessons that they’re still relevant decades later. So pop on the cherry lip gloss and Coolio’s “Rollin’ with the Homies,” while I break down the love lessons I learned from Clueless, everyone’s favorite ’90s teen rom-com.Quit meddling in the love lives of your friends.Paramount PicturesEven though you might think you know better–and sometimes you’re right–if your friends don’t want the advice, you shouldn’t give it. They’re their own people, and they can make their own mistakes. And you may even be wrong! Cher was certainly wrong when she tried to steer Tai away from lovable stoner skater Travis. Those two belonged together. Even if your intentions are pure, sometimes you just have to stay out of it.Learn to read the signs if a guy is into you.Cher was trying so hard to hook up Tai and Elton, and for what? Elton was a steaming bag of trash who clearly didn’t have respect for women enough to treat them with a modicum of decency. And to make matters worse, Elton was obviously into Cher, not Tai. All of this heartache could have been avoided if Cher was looking for the signs that Elton was into her. So look for those signs. Don’t ignore your intuition about the true intentions of those around you.If the guy you like doesn’t like you back, sometimes it’s even better to be friends.Cher has a brief moment when she thinks she’s on a date with school newcomer Christian. Much to her surprise, it turns out Christian is gay. Rather than wallowing in heartache and self-pity, Cher immediately starts a gorgeous friendship with the guy. You’re not always meant to be in a relationship with someone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be a part of their life. Some of the best relationships of your life will be platonic.Don’t help people at the expense of your own feelings.Cher becomes so focused on helping others that she puts her own feelings aside. She winds up wandering the streets of Beverly Hills having a complete existential meltdown because she forgot about herself. While it’s noble, only ever focusing on the health and happiness of others will hurt you in the end. You know the directions they give on an airplane? “Secure your own mask first before helping other passengers.” The same goes for real life. Don’t forget about yourself.Go for what you want.In the end, Cher gets to watch everyone in her life finally finding love and happiness, and she realizes it’s her turn as well. She likes her step-brother, Josh, and she isn’t going to let a little taboo stand in the way of that. Not only that, but she wants to improve herself to make herself good enough for him. She doesn’t just sit back and wait for good things to come–she makes them happen. Speaking of which…Nothing is off-limits if it involves Paul Rudd.Paramount PicturesYeah, the step-sibling romance plot is a little iffy. But it’s Paul Rudd! Everything’s forgiven when it’s that guy. I’d fall for him, too. If you find your own Paul Rudd, you go for it.
While A24 has become synonymous with art house horror, they also have some killer comedies.
A little over a decade since its foundation, A24 has quickly become one of the most exciting production studios in the contemporary film industry. As evidenced by its extensive lineup of past films, the independent studio has released a steady wave of worthwhile comedies, dramas, mysteries, and horror movies, many of which have earned avid acclaim from critics and international audience members alike.
As many films as A24 has released in the past, there’s something to be said about the studio’s engrossing comedy movies in particular. From absurdist action films to bittersweet coming-of-age dramas, here are some of the best comedies we’ve seen from A24 yet, ranked in order from worst to best.
Swiss Army Man (2016)A24Before they catapulted to new heights with their Oscar-winning Everything Everywhere All at Once, the filmmaking duo known as the Daniels made a name for themselves with their 2016 absurdist comedy, Swiss Army Man. A survival narrative like no other, Swiss Army Man expertly illustrates the Daniels’ propensity for bold and exciting creative material, including – in this case – the idea of a mysterious corpse with an infinite supply of practical uses. With a premise like that, it’s no wonder the film has since acquired a steadfast cult following.
Eighth Grade (2018)A24Not content to be one of the most lauded stand-up comics of his day and age, Bo Burnham has since proven himself a more than capable director with his 2018 debut effort, Eighth Grade. Drawing on his own past experiences with anxiety and ailing mental health, Burnham carefully crafts a jarringly relatable portrait of young adulthood through Eighth Grade. For all of its serious elements, though, Burnham still manages to incorporate his trademark sense of humor, paving the way to a film that will leave viewer chuckling even as their eyes fill with tears.
Red Rocket (2021)A24Over the years, director Sean Baker has earned consistent praise for his realistic, socially profound indie dramas and comedies, from his lauded Tangerine to his more recent Red Rocket. With the latter, Baker provides a moving portrait around modern Americans’ polarized reactions to taboo subject matter, most especially when it comes to the adult film industry. Bolstered by Simon Rex’s awe-inspiring lead performance, Red Rocket succeeds as another riveting comedy about small-town America, making for another strong addition to Baker’s growing filmography.
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)A24Realistically, we don’t really know what to describe Bodies Bodies Bodies as, the entire film seeming to fall somewhere between a claustrophobic thriller and a first-rate dark comedy. Yet, like Scream before it, the muddled mix of genres is what makes this 2022 whodunit so enjoyable in the first place. Poking fun at Gen Z culture, social media, wealth, and the characters’ vastly privileged backgrounds, Bodies Bodies Bodies makes for a film every bit as funny as it is intellectually stimulating (a feat A24 accomplishes time and time again).
The Lobster (2015)A24Anyone familiar with Yorgos Lanthimos’ career can recognize what a creative juggernaut he truly is. A prolific visionary who’s never afraid to veer into some dark, unsettling territory, each of Lanthimos’ movies showcase his brilliant handling of odd subject matter, as seen through his 2015 dark comedy, The Lobster. Like his later work on The Favourite, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, and Poor Things, The Lobster perfectly captures the surreal spirit that infects so many of Lanthimos’s most breathtaking movies.
Lady Bird (2017)A24Before she was busy spearheading Barbie or the upcoming Narnia series for Netflix, Greta Gerwig helped make a name for herself as a promising young director with her 2017 teen comedy, Lady Bird. A fascinating character study wrapped around a coming-of-age story, Lady Bird provides a careful examination of young adulthood and the pressures one feels to find out who they are and what they want out of life. Led by a luminous Saoirse Ronan in the title role, Lady Bird undoubtedly ranks among the finest teen films of the past decade, reaching the same heights as The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, or Sixteen Candles before it.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)A24It’s not an exaggeration to call Everything Everywhere All at Once the best A24 movie to date. A creative hodgepodge of conflicting genres and visual styles, Everything offers a ceaselessly funny story of family, relationships, and existentialist dread, all rooted around the idea of branching universe and alternative realities. With humorous references to everything from The Matrix to Ratatouille, Everything Everywhere All at Once’s anarchic story never fails to garner a laugh in the most surprising places imaginable.
The road to enlightenment is paved with mistakes made along the way… and boy did I make them all!
So much so that I created a career writing about relationships, and my personal experiences gave me so much more insights than a Ph.D. ever could!
One comment I hear over and over again is, “I wish I knew this sooner!” I totally relate to that sentiment and to help you make empowered choices in your dating life and get clarity before you make the devastating and sometimes humiliating mistakes, here are the best lessons I wish I knew sooner:
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Stop looking for love; make yourself a vessel to receive it.You will never be able to experience true love until you conquer the barriers that are preventing you from receiving it. This applies if you’re single as well as if you’re in a relationship.
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Relationships amplify what’s already inside you.Don’t think a relationship will magically cure you and heal your pain and trauma. The opposite is true and these things will only become more intense and magnified in a relationship because love brings up all that is unloved within us.
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Heartbreak is a blessing or a curse; it’s up to you.A devastating breakup can either destroy you or make you stronger, you get to choose. It doesn’t matter how badly he wronged you, you are the only one who gets to decide if you will be cast as victim or heroine in the story of your life.
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You can’t win them all.One day I was lamenting to a friend about this guy who just wouldn’t commit to me. I couldn’t understand why or what the issue was. Instead of dishing out sympathy and the typical “You’re too good for him anyway” pep talk, she looked me dead in the eye and said: “You can’t win them all. Let it go.” Whether it’s in dating or life in general, these are words to live by.
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You won’t recognize the right partner for you until you are in the right place internally.Despite what you’ve heard, you won’t just “know” when you find “the one.” You need to be in a healthy place internally, otherwise, you can feel an intense pull toward the wrong people for the wrong reasons.
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You teach the world how to treat you.Stop putting yourself on the clearance rack, if you do then you’ll be treated like you’re the bottom of the barrel. No one will raise your value for you, it’s on you.
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If you think all men are jerks.,.. maybe you just have bad taste in men.If every guy ghosts you or has commitment issues, then it’s time to look at who you’re choosing and why.
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Stop texting him… you don’t need to remind him you exist.I promise, if a guy really likes you he won’t just forget about you. You won’t have to poke him every so often to remind him you’re out there and to pick things back up again.
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Happiness doesn’t just happen.We create our own happiness. It doesn’t come from having the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect relationship (as if such a thing even exists!), or any external trappings. Happiness doesn’t just show up at your door as a consolation prize for years of suffering. You have to plant the seeds of happiness and tend to them daily.
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Fairytale love doesn’t exist.The mad, passionate, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep type of love does exist…it’s called infatuation, and it has a very short shelf life. True love isn’t something that just takes you over, it’s something you work for and toward, and it isn’t always pretty or easy.
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Relationships do not determine your worth.Maybe this one cheated and that one didn’t text back and the last one ghosted on you… so what? None of them are the arbiters of your worth, only you are.
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Love isn’t what you get; it’s what you give.So many of us fall into the trap of focusing on what we’re not getting in our relationship. He doesn’t call me enough, he isn’t affectionate enough, he doesn’t take me out enough. Instead of dwelling on what you aren’t getting, shift your focus to what you could be giving. Focus on how you’re showing up in the relationship, on what you’re putting into it, and on how you can love better.
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Sometimes you’re the problem.It isn’t always easy to recognize and admit this, but it is a sign of maturity and true self-awareness.
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Ask yourself: am I in love or am I triggered?These things can feel the same and cause the same sensations in your body. Look back on your life, reflect on what your unmet childhood needs were and see how this may be driving the people you are drawn to.
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You don’t need a closure talk that wraps everything up in a pretty bow.Stop waiting to get closure from your ex before you move on. There will never be a perfect explanation for why things ended that answers all your questions and still manages not to hurt your feelings too badly. You can give yourself the closure. Closure means it’s over, it’s done, and it’s closed.
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It’s not what happens to us, it’s the story we tell ourselves about what happened that determines if we suffer or we grow.If you internalize the idea that you were rejected because you’re unworthy or unlovable or nothing will ever work out the way you want… then you will suffer. Challenge the narrative and consider you might be wrong, consider alternate explanations.
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The beginning of a relationship is not real.The beginning is just an illusion, you’re both on your best behavior, presenting yourself in the best possible light. If you are sticking it out in a bad relationship because of how great it used to be, or you can’t move on from a situationship with a guy you barely got to know, realize you’re holding onto a fantasy.
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Ditch the regrets.There are many paths we could have taken, choices we could have made instead, and things we wish we had done differently. There is no point in stewing in regret. Look back long enough to find a lesson that will help you grow and prevent you from repeating the same mistake, and not a minute more.
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You will never have to convince your soulmate that he is your soulmate.You don’t need to plot or strategize or do social media deep dives. If this is the right person for you, they will know it too!
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Not everyone is a match.Sometimes it wasn’t you and it wasn’t him, it just wasn’t a match and that’s fine!
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You will be OK.Above all, make this your mantra: I will be OK. If you can truly surrender to this idea, you won’t have any more fears when it comes to dating. What is there to fear when you know everything will be OK in the end?
Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 isn’t only an absorbing sci-fi spectacle, but also one fueled by political commentary about South Africa’s history.
In August 2009, Neill Blomkamp announced his arrival in Hollywood with the $30 million sci-fi film, District 9. Set in an alternative history of South Africa, it tells the tale of how the South African government discovered stranded aliens then put them in a segregated camp in the early 1980s. Two decades later, a decision is taken to move the extraterrestrials to another district; however, one of the aliens, Christopher Johnson, plans to escape and leave Earth with his son.
For an ordinary viewer, the film flips the script on the typical Hollywood concept that the extraterrestrials are the bad ones, presenting humans as the real enemies of the story. However, due to the context of District 9 and how it’s set in South Africa, it often acts as a loose metaphor for the country’s fractured history and association with the horrors of apartheid. Through this, it becomes the most powerful – if not the best – political sci-fi film ever created.
The illusion of choice in District 9In District 9, Multinational United (MNU) is appointed by the government to relocate the aliens away from the city of Johannesburg. As Wikus van de Merwe (Sharlto Copley) hands out the eviction notices, the explanation given is how it’ll be better for everyone to move – with no real tangible examples about why it makes sense – and how they won’t even be charged (how noble!). In reality, what’s taking place is the growing conflict and unrest between South Africans and the aliens, so the solution to the problem is to move the latter further away. Out of sight, out of mind.
Sony PicturesHowever, the aliens aren’t presented with a choice here. They are told they will be moving with threats made to their children and instances of violence from the MNU. They are seen as objects here – not as living, breathing creatures who can act out of their own freewill and volition. More importantly, this also tries to cover up the government’s biggest failure. Rather than integrate the aliens into the greater society in the 1980s, the decision was taken to isolate and put them in their own settlement with limited resources and opportunity. Anyone with half a brain could see the socio-economic issues that this would cause down the line.
Those familiar with South African history will instantly draw parallels between this and the National Party’s conduct during the apartheid years, as there were always excuses made for why people of color shouldn’t mix with whites. From a different education system to separate benches, bathrooms, and residential areas, the entire experience only served to dehumanize and demonize others. At the same time, the National Party also pretended like there were choices on the table for minorities, when really there were none.
Wikus van de Merwe learns about ostracization and becoming the enemyWhen introduced, Wikus van de Merwe toes the company line. He believes in the MNU’s propaganda and the need for aliens to be separated from society. This largely happens because Wikus has been indoctrinated by the government’s message and remains part of the privileged part of society. For him, the “Prawns” are seen as nothing more than wild animals and shouldn’t be a part of civil society.
However, when he begins to transform into an alien himself, he discovers how truly “benevolent” the MNU and government really are. Instead of aiding him, they turn their backs on Wikus, even fabricating stories about his condition to further their own agenda. Systematically, they destroy Wikus’ life and there’s no going back for him. Now, Wikus needs to rely on the kindness and compassion of the very aliens he discriminated against while being a willing executioner for the MNU.
Sony PicturesWikus acts as an allegory for the dissenters during the apartheid state. There were privileged individuals who came to the realization that what was happening around them wasn’t right. They spoke out against the atrocities and human rights violations taking place in South Africa. Instead of being afforded a platform to express themselves, they were censored, hunted down, silenced, or isolated from society, as they became enemies of the state. Their lives were destroyed – or ended – in an effort to discourage others from daring to speak out.
District 10 might be impossible because of the scary realityEven three decades after the end of apartheid and the start of the “rainbow nation” in 1994, there’s still a huge divide between the haves and have nots in South Africa, as the remnants of the past haunt and linger. Within a five mile radius, one can be situated in one of the richest parts of the country, Sandton, and also a stone’s throw away from a township in Alexandria. The issues about relocation of informal settlers and land ownership continue to be hotly debated in parliament as some push for the government to take control of land for reform projects while others argue for the rights of private ownership. At the same time, there’s the genuine concern that money allocated to reform programs disappears through the sticky fingers of corruption.
Stuck in the middle of all this are people who are trying to push on and make a life for themselves in these townships, which are often devoid of sanitation, running water, and electricity. These aren’t the only challenges as their daily battles for survival also includes fending off violence and high levels of crime, as gangs target and exploit the vulnerable. Much like District 9 proves, moving people from one district to another doesn’t change the situation – it only pushes the problem out of sight. Until everyone is treated equally and receives a fair opportunity for a better life, the cycle of discrimination and segregation repeats itself. Perhaps this is the reason the sequel, District 10, from Neill Blomkamp hasn’t materialized, because it’s almost too tragic to tell the same story over and over again. What’s meant to be dystopia is still the reality of many – not just in South Africa but around the world.
The Notebook is having a moment again. A Broadway musical adaptation of the classic Ryan Gosling-Rachel McAdams weepie premiered in May, and director Nick Cassavetes recently walked back some famous past tea he spilled about Gosling’s and McAdams’s fighting on set. (TLDR, Gosling was a diva.) However, the movie is also celebrating its 20th anniversary – The Notebook first hit theaters all the way back in 2004. With that in mind, I’m here to talk about everything that The Notebook has taught me not to do in relationships. I may have romanticized the movie’s big moments when I was younger, but now I know better.
- Don’t threaten to kill yourself if someone doesn’t like youIt’s a good thing that I’m not into women; otherwise, this movie would have convinced me that I needed to put my life in danger to get a girlfriend. You may recall that at the beginning of this movie, Noah failed to get a date with Allie, even after constantly harassing her; thus, he hung from a Ferris wheel and threatened to take his life until Allie agreed to date him. Well, you know what the Italians say: “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s coercion.”
Needless to say, I’ve never tried this and am nevertheless coupled up.
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Don’t lay down on a busy city street, even when there are pretty starsI’ve actually learned this one from experience! At the height of lockdowns, when New York City’s once chaotic streets were suddenly deserted, my friend and I decided to reenact the “laying in the street” scene from The Notebook as part of some misinformed performance art project. (“We can post ourselves laying down on TikTok and show everyone how empty and safe the streets are, thus proving how much the world has changed!”) And what do you know? Within a minute, a car appeared and almost killed us.
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Don’t marry someone who wants to push you off a cliffThe Notebook changed quite a few things from its source novel when it made its journey to the screen. One of those was the aforementioned Ferris wheel scene, which didn’t exist in the novel. The other was the constant violence that Allie inflicted upon Noah. In fact, there was a whole montage of these two verbally berating each other; however, it was scored to pleasant bluegrass music, so it was cute. In real life, however, violence is neither cute nor romantic, and I’ve never dated someone who I wanted to angrily shove, like Allie did with Noah.
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Don’t date someone whose dad looks like Joseph StalinAllie’s dad looked like Joseph Stalin, which was enough of a red flag. However, he also talked like Foghorn Leghorn. And then we were surprised when he was the antagonist? Nah, if I found out that a love interest’s dad looked and sounded like he longed for the antebellum South, I would run.
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Don’t study 500 languages at onceI don’t remember the exact list of things that Allie studied on a daily basis, but I recall that it was long. It definitely included Latin and French – And maybe sudoku? Hungarian? In any case, I remember that it forced me to reflect on my overachieving ass and realize that I shouldn’t study for the sake of studying, to fill my idle time. I didn’t want to become a lost, unhappy, romantically unfulfilled person like Allie, after all. And then I became a lost, unhappy, romantically unfulfilled adult anyway. But at least it wasn’t because I learned Hungarian.
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Don’t text your ex every day for a yearThis is basically what Noah did by sending Allie a letter every day for a whole year. Imagine doing that to your ex in 2024 – one 500 word text a day! They would block you. It violates the Geneva Convention or something.
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Don’t buy a house for someone who’s left you on read If Noah and Allie had been dating when he built that house for her, it would have been romantic. But they weren’t dating – the two hadn’t spoken in years. Noah didn’t even know if he’d ever see Allie again, or if she still loved him. He was just a bored, dangerously obsessive guy who couldn’t let things go. What if he never saw her again? He would just have, like, a whole house. These days, the most I’d spend on someone who isn’t a “sure thing” is $10. $15, counting for inflation.
Still, there’s one thing about The Notebook that holds up today. I still kiss in the rain whenever possible.
Everyone loves a good rom-com. We can all agree that most are a little cheesy and unrealistic, but the guilty pleasure aspect draws us into the storyline. Whether it’s a will-they-won’t-they story, a forbidden lovers story, or a tumultuous love story that seems never to give up, we can appreciate the warm fuzzies that a rom-com typically gives us by the end. There’s nothing quite like yelling “Kiss them!” at your screen and cheering on the happy ending for that serotonin boost needed by the end of the week. However, for the sake of real-life purposes, I think we can all agree that your favorite rom-com probably has given you some really bad relationship advice. Out of all my minutes and hours of watching rom-coms to heal a sad heart, here are the four things that I’ve learned I should never do in a relationship.
Don’t Change Who You Are for AnyoneOne of the first movies that comes to mind when I think about changing yourself for someone else is She’s All That. If you’re unfamiliar, popular jock Zach (Freddie Prinze Jr.) makes a bet that he can make the nerdy Laney (Rachael Leigh Cook) into a popular girl. There are already so many red flags about this situation, but we will look past those obvious ones and dig at a deeper issue here. Laney starts to become someone she isn’t Throughout the first half of the movie, she stands up for herself (meekly, but still), has her own unique style, likes what she likes, and is a loyal friend. Through the course of dating Zach, she slowly starts to become someone she doesn’t recognize. She blows off her friends and takes on the role of being Zach’s popular girlfriend, even down to dressing differently in order to be well-liked. Eventually, Laney realizes that she changed for someone who didn’t have good intentions to start with and that she would’ve been better off being exactly who she is. The moral here is that if you are being 100% authentic in yourself, you’ll attract the right people instead of the people who like you but only if you fit their ideal. Be weird, march to the beat of your own drum, and all the other cliches that encompass being yourself. You’ll find the person who loves every aspect of your eccentricities instead of forcing you to adjust them.
Don’t Chase Someone Who Treats You PoorlyIn He’s Just Not That Into You, the film starts with a young girl who is being told the boy on the playground is mean to her because he likes her. This is such a toxic trope in a rom-com that needs to be tossed straight into the garbage. Because of this type of conditioning when the girl is younger, she grows up to chase emotionally unavailable men who are obviously not interested in her. Some rom-coms tell us that we should chase someone harder when they’ve made it clear they don’t like us just in case they change their minds. Many times in the movie, the person being chased ends up being pretty nasty and treating the chasee poorly, but we are told that is all part of playing the game. This is so far from the truth and if someone shows you they don’t like you and shows you who they are, believe them. You wouldn’t want to force someone to change at your expense (see above), so it’s best to cut your losses and focus on fostering a relationship of mutual enjoyment and like.
Don’t Romanticize ConflictThe Notebook is regarded as one of the most romantic and cutesy rom-coms on the scene. The ending is sad and the love story is simultaneously heartwarming and wrenching, but the one problematic part of the whole movie is how much fighting occurs between Allie (Rachel McAdams) and Noah (Ryan Gosling). There are many scenes where the two are shown yelling and screaming at each other, even so far as to see Allie hitting Noah in the chest. These two eventually work out their problems, but while they’re young, the conflict is high. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be conflict in a relationship, but solving that conflict by yelling and screaming at each other doesn’t display a very solid foundation of communication that a relationship desperately needs. It’s okay to be frustrated, it’s okay to be angry, but romanticizing that a relationship NEEDS two people to be yelling at each other to have a deep connection is inherently off. It’s not passion as many have argued, it’s a lack of respect and emotional maturity between the partners.
Don’t Begin a Relationship With a LieThis should be a given, but building a relationship on a lie doesn’t turn out as well as the movies will tell you. Take How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days as a great example. Andie (Kate Hudson) and Ben (Matthew McConaughey) are two business professionals who think they have the skills to pull off the impossible. Andie is a dating advice columnist and is tasked to research how you can make a man leave you in 10 days. Ben is bet that he can make any woman fall in love with him in 10 days. So, you can see the challenge each is up to with these opposing goals. Over the course of the film, the two eventually start to fall for each other, but as soon as things get really good the two figure out that they were set up to fail. Despite lying directly to each other about who they are, what they like, and what they don’t like for an extended period of time, the two end up together in the end. I can assure you, if you lie about everything you are in a relationship in the real world, it’s unlikely that the relationship will continue and it shouldn’t. Lies can only be kept up for so long, and big lies of that nature have no place in a positive relationship.
This article contains spoilers.
The newly released romantic drama ‘It Ends With Us’ is based on a bestselling novel by author Colleen Hoover. If you know anything about Colleen Hoover or have read her chilling books like Verity (a great primer on how to depict gaslighting in literature), you know that her books tend to tug at heartstrings and at times push you to your limits. This book is no different and is widely praised as a moving look into how generational trauma affects cycles of abuse and shapes our patterns in love and relationships. However, much of the marketing for the book and the movie has been obscured by controversy, with rumors floating about in the media about the actors and director feuding, and critics pointing out that the “floral” themes that the movie and book have been excessively marketed with may have romanticized the movie in a way that overshadows the more pressing issues of domestic violence presented in the book. Let’s talk more about what makes this romantic drama a truly tragic one and why its messages about domestic violence should still be considered even in the midst of all this purported real-life drama.
What Is “It Ends With Us” About?Sony PicturesLily Bloom (played by Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively) is a young woman with a dark and tortured past. As she moves from Maine to Boston to open her own flower shop and cope with the loss of her father, she is confronted with the trauma she grew up with when she begins re-reading her old childhood diaries. Her father abused her mother, and she witnessed this turmoil growing up. The abuse was shrouded in secrecy, and she always wondered why her mother didn’t leave. During her adolescence, she also developed a profound connection with her first love, Atlas Corrigan, who she helped out as a teenager when he had nowhere to go and no one to support him, even saving him from attempting suicide. Atlas was beaten up by her abusive father when he found him hiding out at their house and shortly after Lily lost her virginity to him. These flashbacks are intermingled with Lily’s present-day, when Lily meets neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid (Jane the Virgin’s Justin Baldoni) on the rooftop of his apartment building in Boston. They begin a romantic relationship even though he initially tells her he’s only looking for something casual and presents himself as a notorious player with many lovers. She rejects their connection at first for this reason, but their paths cross again when Lily (unknowingly) hires Allysa, his sister, to work with her at the flower shop, helping facilitate her serendipitous reunion with Ryle.
Unrealistically, Lily becomes the “exception” to Ryle’s commitmentphobia and they do end up in a romantic relationship that seems to blossom and flourish beautifully – at least, at first. Lily enjoys luxuriously sensual romantic nights in Ryle’s penthouse, romantic date nights reminiscent of their first meeting on the rooftop, group outings with his sister, and fun nights of dinner and karaoke, perfectly capturing the euphoria often involved in the honeymoon stages of the abuse cycle. Ryle also supports her new business and becomes her first official customer. These romantic scenes are juxtaposed with scenes of young Lily and her first love Atlas, which are just as romantic, if not more so (the actress who plays the younger Lily is also a dead ringer for the adult Lily, making these comparisons even more jolting) as Lily essentially saves Atlas’ life and they fall in love in a once-in-a-lifetime romance. Her relationship with Ryle in the present day seems like a fairytale at first as well, until Ryle starts showing signs of being abusive, possessive, and cruel. In what appears to be a strange twist of fate, Lily serendipitously runs into her first love Atlas in present day, who has now progressed in life and is the owner of his own restaurant. While Ryle and Lily’s relationship may be front and center of the film, the moments between Atlas and Lily are the real love story of the film, as Atlas and Lily save each other’s lives during some of their toughest moments, and Atlas gets a chance to return the favor by helping her recover from Ryle’s abuse and giving her a place to stay as she heals.
Atlas and Lily Reunite and Ryle’s Abuse Worsens Ryle’s abusive behavior escalates as Atlas begins questioning whether Lily is being abused and Ryle becomes increasingly possessive, realizing Lily still has feelings for Atlas. For example, when Ryle discovers that Atlas was in the restaurant bathroom with Lily due to his concern over her black eye, Ryle begins to become physically aggressive with Atlas and pushes Lily out of the way while Atlas furiously tells him to get out of the restaurant. In another incident, Lily is physically pushed down the stairs by Ryle when Ryle discovers Atlas and her may still be in contact after he makes her promise never to see him again. Ryle becomes even more controlling and jealous when he discovers more about Lily’s past with Atlas and how it is connected to the origins of her heart tattoo, going so far as to sexually assault Lily to regain power and control over her when he learns Lily might still love him. These disturbing scenes of escalating abuse are also merged with Lily’s flashbacks of her father abusing her mother, revealing how the cycle of abuse seems to be perpetuated in Lily’s life now. Ryle, too, shares with Lily that his childhood trauma of accidentally shooting his brother when he was young caused him to go into rages as an adult. However, while he tries to improve his behavior, he ultimately reverts back to his abusive tendencies.
How Does The Movie Depict Domestic Abuse?Sony PicturesWhen watching the movie, I thought it did something exceptionally clever that other movies that touch on this sensitive topic usually don’t. It presented Lily as an “unreliable narrator” (she says this herself explicitly as a passing joke at one point) and does not reveal the true nature of Ryle’s abuse toward her in the beginning. During the first abuse scene, we watch it as if we were seeing the incident through Lily’s eyes – we see smoke, a sudden crash, or Lily ending up on the floor of the stairs, but we never see Ryle’s hand actually hitting her and are unclear of what actually happened and whether it was on accident or not, much like a survivor would question the first incident of abuse and feel gaslit into minimizing or rationalizing what occurred.
People who haven’t read the book and are watching these scenes may feel confused and disoriented at such scenes, mirroring the way any domestic violence survivor feels when they’ve been gaslit, invalidated, or is jolted into shock by sudden abuse which seems to come out of nowhere or has gradually heightened over time in a dangerously slow-burning and insidious manner.
This places us directly into the shoes of Lily as she experiences the abuse, since she does not yet understand what is happening and is still prone to rationalizing Ryle’s behavior, mirroring the experience of a domestic abuse survivor. However, in a series of shocking revealing flashbacks, the movie unravels the truth of what happened almost like a plot twist: Ryle did in fact hit her when he got frustrated while cooking, he did actually push her down the stairs during an argument about Atlas, and while the full extent of his sexual assault of Lily is co-mingled with other scenes of the abuse Lily’s mother suffered as well as a more dissociated “bird’s eye” perspective of the assault, it’s clear this was excruciatingly traumatic and terrorizing for her as well. Lily only begins to accept and realize this relationship is mirroring the abusive one her father had with her mother as she comes to terms with the escalating pattern of abuse, as many survivors do.
How Does ‘It Ends With Us’ Actually End?When Lily discovers she is pregnant with Ryle’s baby and that she will be having a girl, her perspective seems to shift out of murky rationalization and back firmly into her maternal instincts. Though at first it seems she wants Ryle to be actively involved with her in the process of parenting and possibly reuniting with him romantically, after she gives birth to their daughter, she realizes she doesn’t want her daughter to ever suffer the same fate as her mother did. She asks Ryle for a divorce. She knows that by continuing to being with Ryle, she would be sacrificing not only herself, but her own daughter, perpetuating the same cycle as her parents by allowing her daughter to witness all the pain and turmoil she herself witnessed growing up. One of the most powerful scenes in the movie is when Lily asks Ryle after giving birth and while he is holding their baby what he would tell his daughter if she was the one being abused.
She asks, “What would you do if she told you her boyfriend was hitting her? If she said, ‘Daddy, my husband pushed me down the stairs, but he said it was an accident so it’s fine. She said her husband held her down and she begged him to stop but he swore he’d never do it again. What would you tell her? If the person she loved was hurting her – what would you say to her?” Ryle looks disturbed and pensive before he responds, “I would beg her to leave him and never go back.” Other powerful scenes in the movie include Lily’s mother telling her that the reason she stayed in the abuse cycle was because it would’ve been harder to leave, pointing to how difficult it is to extricate oneself out of the trauma bonds of the abuse cycle, as well as Ryle’s sister telling her that while as a sister she would hope Lily would forgive him, as her best friend, that is not the life she wants for Lily and the abuse was not her fault. The movie concludes with Lily saying, “It ends with us,” to her daughter Emmy and later running into Atlas when they are both single. These concluding scenes signal that the cycles of domestic abuse and trauma that have plagued both of them are finally ending, that their love story now has a chance to bloom in the rich soil of a healthy environment, and that a fresh new cycle has begun.
What Does ‘It Ends’ With Us Miss About Abuse and What Does It Get Right?The movie seems to give Ryle a bit of a redemptive arc by delineating his own childhood trauma and giving him a sense of introspection and deeper understanding of abuse dynamics. The book, too, seems to paint abusers with more nuance and complexity than they perhaps deserve, hinting at the idea that we can’t group people into categories of good or bad. However, that’s not usually how real life works and it’s not practical at times to our safety or well-being to agonize over complexity and nuance when it comes to life-saving decisions. In real life, manipulative abusers do not usually come to the conclusion that they are in the wrong or change for the better. They frequently continue to gaslight their victims and re-offend, regardless of the birth of children, and their abusive tactics tend to heighten over time especially if they have narcissistic or psychopathic traits. Not all abusers have childhood trauma, and even in cases where they do, it’s clear that others (like Lily herself) who also have childhood trauma make drastically different choices than to violate other people, which means we cannot minimize an abuser’s behavior based on trauma they may or may not have had. However, the movie does open up an important discussion about the effects of generational trauma and how the cycles of abuse can be passed down and normalized for every generation, harming not just one person but countless others who grow up witnessing the abuse. It Ends With Us is a poignant reminder that while we may not be able to change the past, we can create a better future and make the choice to end the cycle before it’s begun. As Lily notes, “As hard as this choice is, we break the pattern, or the pattern breaks us.”
The world is always looking for a new sexy teen melodrama to watch. The general public just can’t go long without one. There are just so many tropes to love. There’s the convoluted writing designed to generate maximum hook-ups. There are those killer soundtracks. And don’t forget the greatest trope of all: Hot 27 and 28-year-olds playing teenagers. For instance, Netflix’s Elite boasted a cast of mostly PhD-aged actors from its get-go: For the run of the series, the average age of the cast was eight years above typical high school age. Then, as with many teen dramas, the actors became even more obviously 35 when they continued to not graduate. There’s something unnerving about seeing someone complain about their science homework when they look old enough to have arthritis medication.
With that in mind, this seems like an appropriate time to look back on history’s most flagrant instances of Fraudulent Teen Casting.
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Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls (2004)Paramount PicturesWhether it was the pitch-perfect way she proclaimed that she was getting cheese fries, or the believable fear she had of social suicide, Rachel McAdams was the most teenager-y teen of 2004. Was she impossibly hot for a sixteen-year-old? Yeah, but that was kind of the point. At the end of the day, no one noticed that this fully grown-ass 26-year-old was pretending to be a hormonal junior with a lip gloss addiction. The character just had a mythical physical maturity that could only be embodied by someone with a second mortgage and dental insurance. In fact, Rachel McAdams did such a great job playing a teenager that she starred in The Notebook that very same summer.
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Nicola Coughlan in Bridgerton (2020 – present)NetflixAll of those references to Penelope being an old soul were kind of accurate. The Irish actress Nicola Coughlan was no less than 32 years old when she started to play Penelope Featherington on Bridgerton in 2020. That means that she was – wait for it – 35 when she filmed Season 3! You know, the season in which she played a virginal teenager with silky soft skin and butterfly hair clips? By the time Season 4 rolls around, she’ll be old enough to serve on the Supreme Court. Sigh, if only we could all pass as nineteen-year-olds once we’re well into middle age.
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Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)Paramount PicturesSpeaking of iconic teenagers, Audrey Hepburn was 32 when she inhabited the role of socialite Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Must I remind you that Holly was supposed to be 19. Actually, I don’t know which of these facts is more surprising – that the actress playing the character wasn’t 19 or that the character was 19. How did she find time to hang out in front of Tiffany’s every morning? Didn’t she have to go to school? Was she failing all of her classes? In any case, Hepburn looked so angelic that viewers simply never considered that she was old enough to rent a car.
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Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen (2021)Universal PicturesThe less said about this movie, the better. So let’s go ahead and dedicate an entire paragraph to it. This movie is bad. Like, “walk out of the movie” bad. Like, “sue the theater that played it” bad. Like, “take out a full page ad in the New York Times begging people not to watch this filth” bad. But the source material – the Tony-winning Broadway musical – is incredible! So what went wrong? Well, part of the problem is that the actor playing the seventeen-year-old eponymous character is Ben Platt, who was 27 years old at the time of filming. And he looks it! He literally looks like a lost grown man who just wandered into his local high school and started singing about loneliness.
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Stacey Dash in Clueless (1995)Paramount PicturesStacey Dash doesn’t sound like a real person when you list her career trajectory on paper. (Movie star → Fox political commentator → Opponent of Black History Month → Banned from Instagram.) That said, she was still a big deal when Clueless came out in 1995. Her portrayal of Dionne Marie Davenport was instantly iconic and branded her as a prototypical teen of the ages. However, she was 28 years old during filming. That’s a full eleven years more than her character. Still, she got away with it! Her worry lines didn’t start forming until she joined the Fox team and had to deal with blonde women asking to touch her hair all day.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and sabotage our chances of getting what we really want. Relationships, careers, fitness…we can derail ourselves in all areas of life. It’s a hard reality to confront … when there’s no one to blame.
I’ve been writing about relationships for years and can’t help but notice patterns in where women go wrong. It’s not anyone’s fault. No one sets out with bad intentions, trying to sabotage their relationship. Usually, all a woman wants is to keep her relationship strong and happy. She wants it to last, but oftentimes she still ends up doing things that can push a guy away and ruin a relationship.
One area where people go wrong is in not working on themselves and letting less-than-ideal character traits go unchecked. I think that on the one hand, we’d like to believe that this is the way we are and the person we’re with should just take it or leave it, on the other hand, we realize that isn’t really the healthiest attitude, especially when it comes to negative tendencies like being insecure, clingy, needy, jealous, vengeful, hostile and on and on.
Yeah, being this way might be “yourself,” but it’s the worst of you. Why not make an effort to refine those weak spots and be your best self? This is how you win.
Let’s look at some common areas where a lot of women go wrong in relationships and how to resolve them:
- You choose partners who can’t give you what you want.You will never get what you want if you keep settling for what you don’t want.
Maybe you’re only drawn to emotionally unavailable people who just don’t treat you right
Going for partners like this is a form of self-sabotage. It can happen when deep down you feel unworthy, you feel not good enough. And these feelings are usually rooted in childhood pain and trauma.
So deep down you have these beliefs about yourself, and then you go out into the world and try to date and try to find a partner but you only seem drawn to the ones who don’t want you. And this is because the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right. If you believe you are unworthy, you will be drawn to partners who make you feel that way.
When someone does show genuine interest, you may be put off because this doesn’t align with how you see yourself. You don’t truly like yourself and you, again this is subconscious, believe anyone who does like or love you must be fatally flawed.
- You don’t understand your triggers.Don’t let your emotions run the show, you have to look at why you’re reacting the way you are in certain situations. When we have an intense, reflexive emotional response, it’s usually the result of a core wound being touched upon or activated.
Try to identify what it is, especially when you have a strong reaction to something pretty trivial.
Trace it back to your childhood- what were your unmet needs? And how might these needs be showing up in your adult relationships?
Whatever unmet needs you had in childhood are bound to get touched upon in a relationship and a lot of the time, that’s what you’re reacting to.
- You commit too soon.If you latch onto someone forcefully and commit yourself too soon, it’s usually a sign that you’re using this person as a means to fill an emotional void.
Healthy relationships build slowly and evolve organically. There isn’t a need to force things to move in a certain direction.
When you feel an intense pull toward someone or are consumed with trying to win them over and prove yourself to them, it signals you have self-esteem issues you need to work through. Maybe you see this person as a chance to save you from something.
And the other person will most likely be put off by this. First, it doesn’t feel earned, and second, we can all sense when someone is trying to get something out of us and it doesn’t feel good.
You also may come across as too desperate and needy and this is a universal turn-off.
- You’re too scared.A lot of people are operating from a place of fear, they stay in bad relationships fearing they won’t find better… or they are consumed with fears of ending up alone.
When you come from a place of worry and anxiety, you’re basically saying “I don’t trust that things will work out for me so I’m going to question everything until I prove myself right.”
When you operate from fear and engage with negative, fearful thoughts, you perpetuate the very reality that you’re afraid of. It’s hard to connect when you’re in this worried state, it’s hard to be vulnerable and drop your guard when deep down you believe nothing is ever going to work out in your favor. This, in turn, will push away the very thing you want the most.
You have to get to the heart of the fear- where is it coming from? What is the root? And challenge the fears. Maybe you think you won’t find anyone… is that true? Can you know with 100% certainty that’s true? No, you can’t. So stop engaging with a thought that keeps you stuck where you don’t want to be.
Notice your thoughts throughout the day and ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well? Does this take me where I want to go? If the answer is no, then stop engaging with the thought!
- You are the victim.Look, it happens to the best of us. We fall into the victim mentality and it’s hard to get out of it.
It doesn’t feel good, but in a way, it does feel easier to blame outside circumstances for our misfortune… to relinquish any personal blame and responsibility.
And I’m not saying greater forces aren’t at play… but it doesn’t serve you to dwell on that which is outside your control.
You need to take responsibility. Take responsibility for yourself, for your life, for your actions and reactions.
Yes, I know life isn’t fair. And it’s more unfair to some than others. But wallowing in this doesn’t serve you, it stunts you.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask: How am I contributing to my misfortune? And how can I turn it around?
How are you keeping yourself stuck and what can you do today to break free?
Create a vision of the life and relationship you want and make a plan with small, achievable action steps for how you will get there.
Have these clips been showing up on your TikTok feed but you have no idea where they come from? I’ve solved the mystery for you.
If your TikTok FYP is anything like mine, likely intermixed between the dance trends and cooking videos are clips from movies. It seems like it’s very specific movies, too. Suddenly every other video will be different clips from the same movie, rarely ever saying what it’s actually from–and the comments are no help there, either. It’ll be flooded with people asking what the movie is but no one’s answering them. That’s where I come in! I’ve found three movies that may be filling up your FYP right now, what makes them special, and where you can stream them. (You’re welcome for solving the mystery!)
Dinner in America (2020)Best & Final ReleasingWhat you’ve been seeing on your FYP: Crazy chemistry and the “Watermelon” songIf you ever wanted an example of the most bonkers amount of onscreen chemistry, especially with the longing the leading man can have while gazing at the leading lady, watch Dinner in America. A darker and more “realistic” indie version of the classic rom com, it follows punk rocker Simon on the run from the law running into his biggest fan. It features one of the best original songs from a movie in recent years, which may be what’s been popping up on your FYP. Watch it for the song, “Watermelon,” or for the way Simon gazes at Patty while she sings it. This is one of those movies that will change your brain chemistry. Watch Dinner in America on Hulu.
Boot Camp (2024)Channel ZeroWhat you’ve been seeing on your FYP: Insane chemistry at a summer campLike Dinner in America, most of Boot Camp’s clips on TikTok are all about the chemistry between the two main characters: Cindy and Alex. Cindy unathletic and has some extra weight on her, so she signs up for a boot camp-style summer camp to help her get better. She meets her athletic and tanned personal trainer, Alex, and the sparks fly. It truly is one of the “she fell first, but he fell harder,” tropes, and I’m here for it. Best of all, it ends on a body-positive note while still centering self-improvement, which is great. Watch Boot Camp on Amazon Video.
Flipped (2010)Warner Bros.What you’ve been seeing on your FYP: Edits of longing glances between two kids to “Margaret” by Lana Del ReyAnother example of “she fell first, but he fell harder,” Flipped follows young kids Juli and Bryce. As soon as she becomes his neighbor in second grade, she’s in love with him. She loves him for years, but it takes him a second to get with the program. Despite this movie being almost 15 years old, it still shows up regularly on TikTok for two good reason: It’s super cute and it’s super underrated. People make the type of edits that feature captions and comments like “find yourself a man who looks at you like Bryce looks at Juli,” and we have to agree. Watch Flipped on Max.
The ton is not OK. By that, I mean that homophobes and literary purists alike are complaining about Season 4 of Bridgerton even though it hasn’t been written yet. Why, you ask? Because of one character’s gender being swapped. Fans of the original Bridgerton books are not loving the Season 3 reveal that the original book character of Michael Stirling is now a woman, Michaela, in the show. After all, this means that Francesca and Michaela might hook up, just as Francesca did with Michael in the source novel When He Was Wicked. Lord forbid! As if Bridgerton were the first adaptation in history to have changed its source text, ruining the lives of tens of Internet commentators.
Still, Bridgerton trudges on, and Season 4 will deliver us a new power couple. But who? As someone who has not read one Bridgerton novel, I now present my predictions/wishes for who should make out next.
The obvious couple: Francesca and MichaelaI am not a Bridgerton purist, and I literally can’t be since I’ve never read any of the books. Also, I am not a homophobe. Both of these facts make me the perfect person to not care that Francesca and Michaela might hook up. Plus, did y’all see how Francesca’s jaw practically dropped to the floor, Looney Tunes style, when Michaela introduced herself? Clearly, this is a woman who’ll pry Francesca out of her shell – and a ton of us would like to see it.
The overdue couple: Violet Bridgerton and Lord AndersonViolet deserves some time off to go on a fabulous vacation with this mysterious hunk. She’s married off half of her children, after all! Isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t there be a minimum number of married-off children that a Regency woman hits before qualifying for retirement? Or is it more of a “years served” situation? Either way, Violet deserves a break. Maybe Daphne can come back and watch the kids next season while Mom blacks out next to a pool in Cornwall.
The surprise couple: Benedict Bridgerton and the guy who invented the hot air balloon Bridgerton seemed to be teasing a throuple between Benedict Bridgerton, Lady Arnold, and Paul Suarez, and then pulled away at the last minute, freeing Benedict to stick his Bene-dict elsewhere. However, since he’s happily queer now, he might as well explore that untapped side of himself. What better place to start than the place where it all started? Obviously, I’m talking about that hot air balloon party. Maybe Benedict will look back on that day when he met Lady Arnold and realize that there was another person, the inventor of the hot air balloon, who had been watching and waiting this whole time, hoping that Benedict would realize that he had done all of this – the inventing, the unveiling, the accidental release of the balloon, the ensuing chaos, the near-involuntary manslaughter of Penelope – for him.
The literary couple: Eloise Bridgerton and Mary Shelley, acclaimed writer of FrankensteinHistory says that Frankenstein author Mary Shelley was bisexual, and Twitter says that fictional character Eloise Bridgerton should be bisexual. They’re the perfect match! Also, they’re alive around the same time, and maybe the same age, too. (I’m not clear on Eloise’s age anymore … She’s supposed to be a young adult, right? But as of June 2024, the actress playing her, Claudia Jessie, is 34? But I guess we’ve all decided to overlook that?) Anyway, Eloise and Mary would have a lot of books to argue about, and they could theoretically meet by accident in a Scottish forest while on separate solitary nature walks.
The physically attractive outcast couple: Cressida and the blonde traveling vegan that Penelope rejectedBoth of these people ended Season 3 unattached and physically distant from the ton. Maybe Sir Vegan’s travels will lead him to research ancient stone circles in Wales, placing him in close proximity to the equally blonde Cressida, with whom he shared a flirtation at the beginning of Season 3. As he is an 18th century version of a travel influencer – he’s even vegan, a very influencer-y trait – he’ll prove very alluring to budding hair stylist Cressida, who has honestly been through enough already. Give them a break! (But make this happen off screen, please.)
The age gap couple: Lady Danbury and Prince Basic Like Violet, Lady Danbury deserves a romance of her own. Yes, she got one in Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, but that was technically years ago. It’s time for this Lady to spread her wings and catch herself a sexy young thing. I’m talking about Prince Basic, the hottie with the body who Francesca rejected in favor of Lord Music. Prince Basic will be hurt, confused, and desperate after Francesca’s rejection of him – and what better person to sooth his ego than the matron of the ton? Bring it on. Now I’m excited for Season 4!
These couples are truly perfect for each other. Here are six of the cutest couples in television history.
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Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)The top detectives of Brooklyn’s 99th precinct Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta go from enemies to lovers in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Starting as workplace rivals, the two embark on a crazy bet to see who can get the most felony arrests. If Amy wins, she gets Jake’s car. If Jake wins, he takes Amy on a fake date.
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Monica and Chandler (Friends)Unlike Ross and Rachel (derogatory), this Friends’ couple was actually healthy! The two were friends for years before they officially got together as a couple. In season four, Monica and Chandler start hooking up, taking their relationship from friends to lovers. They keep their relationship a secret from the rest of the group. Eventually, their love is revealed and the rest of the series showcases a beautiful relationship full of the natural highs and lows that come with one. And on a show where Ross and Rachel exist (I’m sorry, I just hate them together), Monica and Chandler show that true love is just as interesting, or even more so, than a will-they-won’t they, toxic couple.
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Marshall and Lily (How I Met Your Mother)Marshall and Lily defined #relationshipgoals during How I Met Your Mother. The two met in college and spend most of the series watching Ted…be Ted. While Marshall and Lily do breakup early on, this is only temporary and they get back together. Marshall and Lily and drama-free, and have a truly wholesome romance that you can’t but but root for.
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Ben Wyatt and Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation)Ben Wyatt and Leslie Knope are fan faves for a reason. While the two didn’t start off as what could necessarily be considered fond of one another, this eventually develop feelings for one another. An unfortunate workplace rule that prohibits coworkers dating does cause issues for Ben and Leslie, but in time they are able to pursue their relationship and eventually get married and have triplets.
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Jim and Pam (The Office)There are few sitcom couples as iconic as Jim and Pam from The Office. Another friends to lovers dynamic, Pam and Jim finally get together after Pam breaks up with her awful boyfriend Roy. The series showcases a hilarious, tender partnership, one that fans still revere to this day.
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Captain Holt and Kevin Cozner (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)Amy and Jake weren’t the only cute couple on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Captain Raymond Holt and his husband Dr. Kevin Cozner are a match made in sitcom Heaven. Essentially direct mirrors of one another, Kevin and Raymond’s hilariously proper demeanors are what make these two so funny to watch interact. While they do struggle and temporarily separate in the show’s final season, they do get back together and renew their vows in a ceremony that is romantic in the only way that makes sense for Kevin and Raymond. And that’s the point; no one will understand them they like they get each other.
Here are seven romantic movies that are based on true love stories.
- The Big SickThe Big Sick (2017) is the true story of how comedian Kumail Nanjiani met his wife Emily Gardner. While the couple start off strong, they soon hit a rough patch and break up due to their cultural differences, as Kumail’s parents want him to
However, in a twist of fate, Emily ends up contracting a mysterious illness and Kumail must help care for her. It’s a heartwarming, hilarious movie about familial expectations and staying true to your heart.
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Southside With YouSouthside With You (2016) is based on Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, following them on a 1989 summer afternoon in Chicago’s South Side where the future President of The United States and First Lady would begin their love story.
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The Theory Of EverythingThe Theory Of Everything (2014) is about Stephen Hawking and the love he shared with his first wife Jane Wilde. It’s based on Jane’s memoir of her marriage to Hawking, and how they navigated his amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) diagnosis when he was at 21 and how he still managed to become a world-renowned physicist.
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The NotebookNow, you probably already knew that this film was based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel of the same name, but did you know that Noah and Allie were actually characters inspired by the author’s own grandparents? The Notebook (2004) is a true story about loyalty, faith, and most importantly, true love.
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A Beautiful MindA Beautiful Mind (2001) is a biographical film about John Nash (Russell Crowe), a mathematical genius. While teaching calculus at MIT, Nash and his student Alicia Larde (Jennifer Connelly) fall in love and later get married. Nash, while on the brink of greatness due to a profound mathematical discovery, also teeters on the edge of madness as he becomes overcome with paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. A Beautiful Mind shows not only the (sometimes devastating) power of the human mind but the true strength of the human heart. And, most importantly, that we can get through anything with the people who love us.
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Walk the LineWalk the Line (2005) is based country music legend Johnny Cash’s love story with June Carter. A tale of love, redemption, and music, Walk the Line received critical acclaim, including five Oscar wins.
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The VowThe Vow (2012) is about newlyweds Paige (Rachel McAdams) and (Channing Tatum), who almost fall apart. After a car crash places Paige into a coma, she awakens without any memory of her husband Leo. In fact, she can’t remember anything from the past five years at all. Her parents, who she cut contact with after getting together with Leo, come to visit her in the hospital and hope to use the accident to bring her back home. Despite all of the obstacles, including an ex-fiancé, Leo is determined to win Paige back and does so by essentially dating her all over again.
Platonic love matters just as much as romantic love, and these TV character duos are proof. Here are five TV character duos who are the literal definition of “platonic soulmates.”
- Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)First up is Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. The detective partners at Brooklyn’s 99th precinct are a prime example of platonic soulmates.
Despite their differences, Charles and Jake have sincere love, trust, and admiration for one another. But most importantly, they never try to change each other. Jake embraces Charles’ quirks while Charles literally worships the ground Jake walks on. Their dynamic is sincere and hilarious.
- John Michael “J.D.” Dorian and Christopher Turk (Scrubs)You can’t talk about platonic love without mentioning the bromance that is J.D. and Christopher Turk from the hit comedy series Scrubs.
Turk and J.D. had been best friends since college and continued their platonic love affair as interns at Sacred Heart. Throughout the series, J.D. and Turk only become closer and closer as they navigate their way through their internship, residency, and eventual attending roles.
(Fun fact! Zach Braff and Donald Faison are also best friends IRL and host a podcast together called Fake Doctors, Real Friends.)
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Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir (Community)You can’t have a Troy without an Abed. The hilarious BFFs from Community may have seemed like polar opposites at the beginning of the series, but it was soon obvious that Troy and Abed had the same imaginations and weird interests.
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Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang (Grey’s Anatomy)One of the most iconic platonic soulmate duos in television history has to be Grey’s Anatomy‘s Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang. They’re each other’s person. Meredith and Cristina always have each other’s back, no matter how difficult a situation may be (and given it’s a Shonda Rhimes show, there is plenty of tragedy for them to cope with).
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Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing (Friends)Joey and Chandler are more than just roommates; they’re also best friends. In fact, when Chandler moves in with Monica, they even have a designated “Joey room” in their house. No matter what, they’re always be there for one another.
As the flagship property of AMC’s larger entertainment corporation, AMC has earned standout praise for its diverse catalog of movies, TV shows, and other entertaining programs since its creation in 1984. Initially billing itself as a premium curator of classic movies, AMC reinvented itself by the early 2000s as a dependable source of original TV series.
Having dabbled in practically every major genre of television imaginable, AMC’s contributions to the larger TV industry knows almost no bounds. From fan-favorite zombie serials to universally acclaimed crime dramas, here are some of the greatest TV shows we’ve seen on AMC yet, ranked in order from worst to best.
The Walking DeadAMCIn hindsight, it’s easy to admit that The Walking Dead started to wane in popularity right around the time of its fifth season. Yet even the harshest detractors will have a hard time discounting the series’ critically successful first seasons. A dramatic adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s cult favorite comic book series, The Walking Dead brought AMC a renewed wave of attention from mainstream audiences at the start of the 2010s, solidifying the network’s place as a premium supplier of first-rate TV shows.
The TerrorAMCUnfortunately, anthology series have a way of falling apart as time goes on – a phenomenon best illustrated by the gradual decline of American Horror Story or Black Mirror. Even if The Terror were to suddenly peter off in the future, however, the initial two seasons of this AMC horror series remain peak genre television in its own distinct way. Dropping viewers into the wilds of the Arctic Tundra (in its first season) or America’s hellish WW2 internment camps (in its second), The Terror mixes horror with historical fiction in a tense, satisfying, often downright terrifying manner.
The KillingAMCAn American remake of Denmark’s popular TV series, The Killing effortlessly transposed the Danish police procedural drama to its Seattle settings. Retaining the core characteristics of its source material, AMC’s version of The Killing made for an exceptionally riveting mystery series that brought out the best of its lead actors, especially the grizzled Joel Kinnaman. The 2010s equivalent to Twin Peaks, it’s a series that’s impossible to stop once you’ve hit play, roping viewers in through its morally complex characters and episodic main mysteries.
Halt and Catch FireAMCJust as its spiritual predecessor Mad Men evaluated the revolutionary atmosphere of the 1960s, Halt and Catch Fire provided a similar glimpse into the heart of the 1980s computer industry. While the show never accrued the same level of recognition as its fellow AMC sister series, Halt and Catch Fire succeeded as an engrossing historical drama in its own right, analyzing humanity’s growing dependence on the Internet as manufacturers, developers, and engineers struggled to construct their first home computer systems.
Mad MenAMCYou don’t have to be a historian to recognize the fact that the 1960s marked one of the most important decades in U.S. history. With the days of traditional Eisenhower Era family values giving way to a widespread cultural revolution, the ‘60s came fraught with massive social changes for almost every person in the American landscape. Depicting the gradual changes of the decade, Mad Men focused on a group of individuals trying to make sense of their lives in this ever-uncertain decade. More than a mere TV drama about the advertisement industry, Mad Men illustrated how time and our immediate surroundings influence the larger trajectory of our lives, often in ways we’re not even fully aware of or understand.
Better Call SaulAMCWhen Vince Gilligan announced his Breaking Bad spin-off series, Better Call Saul, audiences waited with bated breath to see what the final product might look like. Fortunately, Gilligan created what very might well be the greatest spin-off show yet with his comedic legal drama. A fascinating origin story or Bob Odenkirk’s sleazy Breaking Bad attorney, Better Call Saul effortlessly complimented the underlying narrative first presented in Breaking Bad, all the while standing tall as its own self-contained story.
Breaking BadAMCBreaking Bad has the distinction of not only serving as the best AMC series of all time – it’s all among the finest TV dramas shows ever created. Rising to the same heights as The Sopranos or The Wire before it, Vince Gilligan and company conjured up a harrowing tragedy centered around Bryan Cranston’s Walter White, a meek family man whose transformation into a power-hungry sociopath forms the backbone of the series. Growing only better with each new season, it’s impossible to overstate Breaking Bad’s prominent place in AMC’s lineup of shows.
No one makes it a goal to be single forever. We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.
Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.
I have written many articles and a book on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. And with that, here are ten ways to stay single forever:
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Don’t ever learn from your mistakes.If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you are bound to keep making them (this was the story of my life for many years!). If you find that you keep ending up in the exact same situations over and over again, it’s time to do some reflecting and consider why it’s happening, and what is leading you to this place. For example, if you keep ending up in pseudo-relationships with guys who act like your boyfriend but won’t call you their girlfriend…try to uncover why you seem to only be drawn to the emotionally unavailable type. Take a look at your patterns and see if you can rewire some default settings.
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Blame your singleness on the fact that there are no good men left.It is statistically impossible for every “normal” guy on the planet to be unavailable. It’s not that all the good guys are taken, it’s that maybe you’re so busy chasing the wrong guys and thinking they can give you what you want that you can’t see and appreciate all the good ones that come your way. Don’t sabotage when it comes to dating.
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Have really high expectations…and justify it by saying this is what you “deserve.”We all have certain criteria when it comes to a partner; some of these can be valid and others border on ridiculous. We don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do and oftentimes what we think we want is not the same as what we actually need. You’ll be surprised what can happen when you stop assessing if he has all the qualities you want and instead try to connect to him as a person.
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Don’t trust how he feels about you.Assume he’s going to dump you, he won’t call you back, he won’t commit, etc. If you convince yourself bad things are going to happen…then you increase the likelihood that something bad will in fact happen. Being paranoid about how a guy feels creates a vibe and energy that can turn this fear into a reality.
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Overanalyze everything.Analyze his texts, the things he said, his posture, the language he used. When you overanalyze, you aren’t being present or authentic. You’re in strategy mode and no matter how stealth you think you are, a guy can always pick up on this energy and it’s off-putting. Instead of being on constant alert and trying to figure out exactly where he stands, maybe ask yourself why you feel you need to date so defensively. What are you trying to protect and how can you release whatever fear is driving you?
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Don’t take care of yourself and try to look your best.It’s been said many times and in many ways…men are visual creatures and physical attraction is extremely important. Attraction works differently for men and women. A woman can develop an attraction to a man because of his internal qualities. Men also need to be attracted to a woman on an emotional and intellectual level, but they will never get there if there isn’t already a strong and established physical attraction. You shouldn’t take care of yourself just to get or keep a man. Do it because it will make you feel good about yourself, which opens the door for many good things in life aside from a relationship.
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Don’t deal with your issues.Most of us have been hurt in the past, be it a painful childhood or a painful breakup. It’s important to remember that issues don’t resolve themselves—you have to put forth some effort. Being in a happy, healthy relationship entails being your best self. You can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside, so if you don’t make self-love your focus, you will never experience the joys of true love (this applies whether you’re in a relationship or not).
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Settle for “meantime” relationships.If you are at the stage in life where you’re ready to settle down and find a lasting relationship, don’t date guys who clearly are not in the same place! It’s pretty obvious when a guy isn’t serious; you know the signs, but you just ignore them because, well, he’s just so cute and what’s the harm in having a little fling at least to pass the time until someone else comes along….
The harm is this is usually where you end up getting hurt because the more time you spend with him, the more your emotions take hold and drown out your objective reasoning, the part of you that knows it would never work out long-term with this guy. If you want a certain kind of relationship, then date guys who want the same thing. It’s so obvious, yet somehow not.
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Be afraid you’ll never find better.I’m not going to identify all the signs that you’re in a dead-end relationship right now, but oftentimes you know the truth. You know he isn’t going to commit in the way you want but you push that knowledge aside and you stay…because staying just seems easier than walking away and starting again. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll never find better, maybe you’re afraid of being alone, maybe you rationalize that you’ve already invested this much time in the relationship so what’s a few more months or years? Yes, staying can be more comfortable, but think of it this way: as soon as you leave a going-nowhere situation, you are one big step closer to getting the love you actually want.
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Panic over the prospect of being single forever.Sometimes the panic and anxiety oozing out of my single friends is so palpable I almost feel like overwhelmed. Worrying about ending up alone gets you nowhere, the same way that worrying about what to eat for lunch doesn’t magically make a sandwich appear before you. Worrying and overthinking can feel like it’s serving a purpose, but it’s not. Instead, just keep it cool and calm, have faith that you will get the love you want when the time is right and try to just find happiness on your own until you get there.
Everyone loves the Scream film series, but let’s be real for a second: A lot of this stuff doesn’t make sense in 2024.
The Scream film series positions itself as the ultimate love letter to the horror movie genre. Unabashedly, it borrows the tropes and uses the narrative “rules” to both pay tribute and poke fun at the overall silliness levels of these slasher films. For fans, there’s never a dull moment, as everyone tries to uncover who did it this time around and how they’re connected to the past movies.
That said, there are a number of unrealistic aspects of Scream. Now, now… Settle down before hurling the “it’s just a movie, bro” and “Ghostface should do you next” insults. Come to terms with the facts and understand that this isn’t a criticism of the series; instead, it’s doing to the movies what they do to the horror genre. How about that, huh.
Ghostface needs a new means of communicationRemember how Ghostface dialed the digits and everyone picked up so that the killer(s) could terrorize them? Show us one person who answers a phone call from a stranger nowadays. Phones ring and ring, because everyone fears it’s a telemarketer on the other end, refusing to be suckered into a conversation about buying more insurance or inadvertently signing up for an unwanted subscription service. Well, Ghostface could text then. Sure, but what about those people who leave others blue ticked for weeks on end before replying? In this more connected world, it’s getting tougher and tougher to reach people, because phones suck. Maybe Ghostface could try Slack or assign a task on Trello.
Ghostface masks continue to be manufacturedParamount PicturesOkay, the Stab film series is a thing in the Scream Universe, and the masks fall smack-bang in the in-demand merch category. So, yeah, money talks – we get it. At some point, though, a senator or politician must campaign for them to be banned or for people to be fined if they wear them out in public, right? It’s wild to consider how a real-life Ghostface killer (or two, or three) will be running around and murdering people, while nothing is done about the high school and college kids dressing up as the character and sauntering down the streets in full view of everyone. In the real world, if a cop suspects someone looks at them funny, trouble follows. In Scream, however, it’s a constant game of peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek with the authorities.
People make new friends way too easily in the Scream film seriesSpare a thought for Sidney Prescott as well as Tara and Sam Carpenter. They have been duped by “friends” more than enough times, as the people in their friendship circles end up betraying them in the worst possible ways. Every film reveals that a person close to them has developed murderous tendencies and they are the targets. Now, that’s on their friends – not them. However, the question must be asked: Why in the hell are they letting new people into their friendship circle every movie? Yes, humans are social creatures and the strength of communities, yada yada… But if a couple of your pals tried to murder you before, maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to accept real-life friend requests and invite those people into your home, where they could take a look around and see the best points of entry and exit…
People aren’t investing in genealogy researchSome sociable folks might not like the last point. After all, how can someone go through life without making new friends or meeting people? Fair enough. In the eventuality that someone new does come into their lives, why aren’t the people from Scream checking out the family trees and conducting thorough genealogy research? Every movie has taught us that the killers are all related in some way or have a link; however, the characters trust others at face value and do not explore any possible threads. Instead, everyone waits around until the villainous monologue in the final act to find out the connection.
Those doors and windows don’t just lock themselvesLook, times change and are different from yesteryear where people left doors and windows wide open, never fearing a neighbor would walk in – unless it was to bring over a warm apple pie. Nowadays, if a door or window is open and somebody spots an unattended MacBook on a countertop, kiss that Apple goodbye. It’s even worse in the Scream Universe where there’s a murderer born every minute. It begs the question: Why do the people of Woodsboro, which is basically notorious for the Ghostface murders, still leave their doors and windows unlocked? Any person who lives in that town should have security cameras, electric beams, and six-foot-high walls by now.
They still partyParamount Pictures“Oh no, Jane. Did you see there’s been another Ghostface murder in town?”
“That’s terrible, Mike. It’s like the fourth one this week.”
“Yeah, it’s so awful. So, anyway, are you going to Brad’s party tonight?”
This happens all the time in Scream. There will be serial killers on the loose and instead of following curfews or avoiding large gatherings where the murderers could hide in plain sight, these numbskulls will throw an open-to-all party. Or even a costume party where everyone can come as Ghostface, because LOL. No brain, no pain, right?
They still don’t understand Ghostface is a groupThe biggest twist in the Scream films centers around how there’s always more than one person involved. Except for Scream 3, of course, where Roman Bridger is revealed as the sole person behind the mask here; however, it can be argued that he influenced the events of prior films, so he never acted alone. Yet, in every movie, the characters search for “the killer” – never quite grasping the fact that there are a number of people they need to keep an eye on. Like a Scooby-Doo villain, there can be multiple people beneath the getup, so that possibility should never be taken off the table. Do they ever understand that they’re dealing with the Legion of Doom and not just Lex Luthor? How many movies do they need before they fully grasp this concept? Sigh.
Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy)The prototypical sitcom hero, Lucille Ball’s caricature of an easily-addled housewife set the standard formula for most American comedies that followed. Breaking down barriers when it came to female representation in 1950s entertainment, Lucy Ricardo blended all the core characteristics one expected to find in a maternal figure. Quirky, zany, yet above all else incredibly loving and supportive, Ball’s indelible blend between slapstick and fast-paced verbal comedy helped her on-screen counterpart capture the hearts, minds, imaginations, and funnybones of audiences for years to come.
Michael Scott (The Office)Perhaps the defining sitcom character of the 21st century, Michael Scott personifies all the negative traits of an absent-minded office manager–IE, the kind of boss most people hope to never, ever work for. Neither responsible nor strictly competent at his job, Michael nevertheless shows genuine care for each and every one of his employees, even as he struggles to articulate those feelings in a normal and healthy way. With many of his compliments coming off as crass or inappropriate, Michael’s awkward personality and endearing wish to simply fit in made him a sympathetic protagonist audiences could easily root for.
Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)In the original season of Parks and Recreation, fans might have described Leslie Knope as the female equivalent to Michael Scott–a well-intentioned if clear-headed office manager working for Indiana’s local government. Starting around season two, however, Leslie began to differentiate herself from her NBC counterpart on The Office, displaying a persistent determination to make the world a better place (one small-town park at a time).
George Costanza (Seinfeld)Compared to most other sitcom characters, George Costanza appears as the complete opposite of a normal, well-adjusted, likable protagonist. In fact, George’s personality–like each of his fellow main characters on Seinfeld–only seems to grow worse over time, leading him to devolve into a greedy, lazy, self-centered cynic characterized by his lack of ambition or basic morals. As a result of George’s gradual character change over the course of Seinfeld’s run, audiences couldn’t help but crack up whenever they saw one of George’s harebrained schemes blow up in his face, from his disastrous tenure with the New York Yankees to his many, many failed romances.
Hawkeye Pierce (MAS*H)In many ways, Hawkeye Pierce brought a degree of sanity to the often chaotic nature of warfare, shining a light on the senseless loss of life for soldiers and civilians alike in the Korean War. Donning a colorful aloha shirt and showing a devil-may-care attitude, Hawkeye’s light-hearted humor and complete lack of seriousness made him an ideal foil to more conservative-minded military bureaucrats (such as his perpetual nemeses, Frank Burns). Behind his rowdy exterior, however, Hawkeye possessed a more thoughtful and introspective view of the world, often leading him to express frustration with military red tape or violence of any kind.
Karen Walker (Will & Grace)The proverbial devil on everyone’s shoulder, Karen Walker seemed like that wild friend from college who simply refused to grow up. Never one to internalize her thoughts, it wasn’t long before the most biting comments came flying out of her mouth, many of which were aimed at those she believed her social inferiors. Brash, loud-mouthed, and rude to no end, Karen’s unpredictability added a whole new layer of excitement to Will & Grace, allowing audiences to wait with bated breath to see what sarcastic comment she might utter next.
Frasier Crane (Cheers)A character so popular, he received not one, but two spin-off series, Frasier Crane provided an element of sophistication to the laid-back atmosphere of Cheers, sharing plenty of psychiatric insight to the patrons of the lax Boston bar. An intellectual braggart unafraid of sharing his opinion on any and every topic imaginable, Frasier somehow possessed that rare ability to win over every viewer in the audience, despite his often condescending attitude.
Since its formation in 1972, HBO has maintained a highly respected place in the entertainment medium, giving viewers some of the most universally acclaimed shows in television history. Offering a bountiful fare of unforgettable dramas, comedies, fantasy series, and superhero epics, HBO has held onto its favorable reputation as a go-to source for first-rate television from the late ‘90s to the present day. While most of HBO’s series are worthy of praise, it’s also important to note the influence certain HBO dramas have had on the network’s continued popularity. These series include everything from in-depth portraits of New Jersey’s criminal underworld to ambitious adaptations of best-selling fantasy novels.
The SopranosFollowing in the footsteps of HBO’s Oz, The Sopranos brought renewed fan interest in the fledgling HBO, helping the network gain on greater recognition as they entered the 2000s. Focusing on the day-to-day life of New Jersey gangster Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini), The Sopranos provided a fresh, more realistic overhaul of the hard-boiled gangster genre. Taking ample inspiration from the ‘90s films of Martin Scorsese (Goodfellas and Casino, especially), it’s a series that deserves to be at the top of everyone’s TV bucket list.
The WireAlong with The Sopranos, The Wire forever changed everyone’s opinion of HBO programming, ushering in a golden era for the burgeoning TV network. A comprehensive breakdown of Baltimore’s more dangerous neighborhoods, The Wire offered an intense look at the city’s law enforcement agencies, political organizations, and illegal criminal elements. With its poignant political and socioeconomic conversations, The Wire’s complexity and realism set the standard for more grounded drama series moving forward.
Game of ThronesYes, the latter seasons might have fallen flat. Yet at its very peak, Game of Thrones’ stood apart as one of the most-watched television series of its era, commanding the same avid attention from viewers as The Sopranos or Breaking Bad. A first-rate adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s encyclopedic fantasy series, Game of Thrones conjures up a fictional universe as expansive as Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings, delighting viewers with its large list of morally ambiguous characters.
Band of BrothersThough a mere 10 episodes long, HBO’s Band of Brothers ranks as one of the greatest miniseries ever put to the small screen. A factual recreation of a U.S. paratrooper company’s experiences in the Second World War, HBO never shied away from portraying the unglamorous reality of combat or the harrowing conditions of the frontline. Balancing its sheer brutality with warmer themes, the series also did a phenomenal job emphasizing the one-of-a-kind fraternal bond that exists between soldiers on and off the battlefield.
ChernobylIn the spring of 1986, the Russian city of Chernobyl experienced a major nuclear incident that left the city an irradiated wasteland. Documenting the startling events leading up to this infamous disaster is HBO’s limited series, Chernobyl. Opting for a meticulous recreation of the actual incident, Chernobyl shines a light on the intrepid heroes responsible for containing the site–as well as the government officials who worked hard to cover the entire incident up.
SuccessionA show that traipsed back and forth between poignant drama and pitch-dark comedy, Succession only seemed to grow better with each new season. Focusing on the intense power struggle of a billionaire family as they vye for their patriarch’s (Brian Cox) media empire, Succession delved into the disconnect between familial love and the quest for limitless wealth. Like all the best HBO shows, Succession made a habit of introducing characters who appeared startlingly despicable one moment, yet wholly relatable in the next, allowing the show to win instant renown from the late 2010s into the early 2020s.
Six Feet UnderLike Succession, Six Feet Under defied conventional norms separating comedy from drama, often stitching the two together into one ghoulish, hilarious, Frankenstein-esque creation. Set in contemporary Los Angeles, the series follows a family of morticians in the wake of a personal tragedy. Despite its grim subject matter, Six Feet Under never harped on a pessimistic message about the inevitably of death. Rather, the series chose to focus on the wondrous possibilities of life, encouraging every viewer to enjoy their existence to the fullest.
Narcissists can be male or female, yet women seeking relationships encounter specific dangers in the dating world due to an increased risk of violence, misogyny, double standards, and the traps of hookup culture. Here’s how you can protect yourself from dating narcissists if you’re a woman who hopes to have a healthy relationship in the future:
1. Decenter men and relationships from your life and connect with the peace and joy of being single. If you’re a heterosexual single woman looking for a relationship, the idea of “decentering” men and relationships from your life and enjoying the peace of singlehood may seem like counterintuitive dating advice. However, it is actually one of the most powerful pieces of advice women can heed if they want to avoid the danger of settling with a toxic person just for the sake of settling down.
Research indicates that contrary to popular myth, single women can be just as happy, if not happier than their coupled counterparts. However, society conditions women into believing that having a relationship is the ultimate goal of their lives from an early age. This brainwashing causes them to believe that having any relationship, no matter how toxic or abusive, is better than having none at all, and trains them to equate their worth with their relationship status.
This social conditioning becomes dangerous because narcissistic abusers will prey on your intense desire for a relationship, can don a false mask and love bombing (excessive flattery, attention, and contact) to lure their victims into an abuse cycle early on. Women pay a heavy price when they buy into this myth of “relationship superiority” and disregard the benefits of singlehood. This is especially dangerous as society elevates even the most toxic of relationships as a sign that at least the woman in question has been “chosen.”
In truth, it is time to reframe this myth to reality: when it comes to toxic relationships with narcissists or even just incompatible partners in general, as a woman you have only been “chosen” to take on more labor in the relationship while enduring countless trials, tribulations, and mistreatment in return. It is important to identify the “costs” of relationships and dating when you’ve been taught only the potential benefits (which you may or may not even experience depending on the particular partner you’re engaging with).
Make a list answering these questions: What are the costs of being in a relationship, especially a toxic one? What costs do you incur to your physical health, mental health, energy, goals, self-esteem, resources and your ability to take care of yourself? What do you lose when you’re in a relationship that’s not right for you? What have you lost in the past? What kind of additional emotional and domestic labor are you expected to do in a relationship with a toxic partner? What kinds of unpaid labor have you performed for people who have only returned your kindness with cruelty?
Then make another list: What are the benefits of being single? What kind of activities can you do when you’re freed from any obligations to another person? How much time can you now spend focusing on yourself and manifesting your desires? How does being single free up your mental resources and energy? What kind of goals can you pursue without interference? What kind of communities can you engage with? What kind of worries are you no longer plagued by? How secure and confident will you feel?
Once you begin decentering men and relationships from your life and positioning yourself as the focus of your existence, you’ll begin to date the way many men are already accustomed to dating: by seeing a relationship as a potential bonus to your life rather than the main goal.
Relationships will then become not a necessity but an option, should you desire it and if a person who is safe, compatible and has proven their character long-term comes along. Consider that many men only settle down when they think they’ve found the “best possible choice” for them. It is time you do the same, and do not limit yourself when looking at your options strategically and ruthlessly. You deserve a partner you are both emotionally and physically attracted to and fulfilled by, and you shouldn’t settle for anything else.
As you decenter coupledom from your life, you will also be able to focus on creating a fulfilling, joyful life with plenty of ambitions, hobbies, interests, friendships, and exciting career opportunities. You will build a life that only a truly worthy partner would be able to enter in order to add value to your life. This will make it that much more difficult for narcissists to enter your life or stay, because you will recognize how much they are detracting from the peaceful baseline you’ve set for your life.
2. Match their energy and set limits to contact. Do not treat any dating prospects like a long-term partner until they have proven their genuine interest and character to you long-term. When in doubt, “cut it out” – your time, effort, and energy, that is. If you notice any red flags, big or small, pull back your attention immediately instead of chasing this person – whether they be a narcissist or an emotionally unavailable partner. Keep in mind all the costs of a toxic relationship that you’ve listed whenever you’re tempted to chase someone who is wrong for you. The trick is withdrawing early on before you get attached to toxic individuals. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the harder it can get to detach.
There is an exception: if a narcissistic partner comes on strongly with love bombing in the beginning, don’t match their energy but rather sit back and observe. Identify whether this is a short-term manipulative strategy or a signal of genuine excitement about you.
Research indicates that narcissistic individuals tend to demonstrate love bombing tendencies, and that these love bombing tendencies are associated with increased text and media usage. However, love bombing often ends abruptly as soon as victims of narcissists are sufficiently invested in the relationship. Regardless of what he promises to you in the future or how much attention he gives you in the beginning, do not give “wife” or “girlfriend” treatment to a man you just began dating. That means do not pour a majority of your time, energy, resources into a man who has not yet proven they are genuinely interested in you long-term and has not yet shown you sufficient proof of his good character or integrity. Do not forego your other options and do not allow him to consume your mind, thoughts, or future plans. Do not waste your time engaging in attempts to change his behavior; observe his natural behavior and act accordingly based on your boundaries, standards and needs.
Resist their attempts to make excessive contact, do not spend your whole day conversing with them and do not be available whenever they need you. Set a time limit per day of how much time you are willing to spend on any dating partner as you’re just beginning to know them, especially through texting. That way, you never get attached to constant contact in the first place.
Stick to getting to know your dating partners and their behavior through in-person dates instead, where you can observe their behavior up close and take note of their nonverbal gestures, tone, and facial microexpressions – subtle cues you can identify if you’re trying to understand if there’s a discrepancy between their words and actions.
Maintain your regular routines and do not sacrifice your goals, hobbies, interests, or time spent with friends and loved ones for them; make sure the dates fit your schedule. Do not begin the dating and courting process accustomed to making sacrifices – in a patriarchal society, you are already taking on a lot of the risk dating at all. This initial time is for you to explore, have fun, and to observe any red flags that might arise.
3. Engage in cost-benefit analyses and start to see your dating experiences in a more “transactional” and practical way in terms of effort, boundaries and standards. Don’t defend your standards and do not lower or negotiate them with potential partners.
As you enjoy the peace and joy of singlehood and identify the costs of relationships, you’ll also become more selective in who you date at all. This will give you more leverage in avoiding and cutting ties with narcissists who demonstrate red flags, even if it’s only later in the relationship, because you’ve already experienced what it is like to feel fulfilled, secure on your own and not to have constant chaos in your life.
This mindset will help you maintain a detached perspective and perform the cost-benefit analysis of being in a relationship with anyone at every stage of the dating process and avoid the pitfalls of hookup culture if you’re seeking a relationship. Remind yourself again the costs of being in a relationship and compare it to the potential benefits this person brings to your life – and if those benefits are no longer forthcoming, decide that your investment in the relationship is no longer forthcoming either. This detachment early on is also necessary to prevent trauma bonding with toxic individuals.
According to research, hookup culture has allowed some men to reap sexual benefits with minimal effort and while giving less satisfaction to women in general. Women seeking relationships must thus be on the lookout for manipulators who may pretend they want relationships when, in reality, they’re just looking for sex.
This means you have to decide for yourself what constitutes “effort” early on and what you will and won’t accept in the beginning of and throughout the dating process. By identifying those standards and boundaries, you can use it to weed out anyone who’s not willing to give you that bare minimum effort before dating them – and detach while dating them if they’re not giving you what you need.
Discerning effort early on in the dating process:
For example, perhaps “effort” to you, at least in the short-term, looks like being taken out and treated to romantic dates early on in dating, consistent phone calls and texts, and a healthy amount of attention and affection (rather than love bombing).
Due to the inequality and double standards of hookup culture and the fact that there are male partners out there willing to exploit women for sex, it’s important not to feel guilty about setting such standards. See this standard of effort as a form of self-protection against users and manipulators, as many manipulators in the dating world will use low-effort dates to try to date and bed as many women as possible. These standards will help you select dating partners who are willing to invest their time and resources into you – a potential indicator of interest beyond just a hookup. Even if such a show of romance turns out to be just a manipulation tactic, at least you did not waste your own resources or too much of your time and energy in a person looking to waste your time.
This will not weed out all narcissistic people, as narcissists are skilled at romancing their targets – however, it will allow you to set a basic standard for how you want to be treated in dating before you choose to date them.
Setting standards for dating in the long-term:
You must also establish what you won’t tolerate long-term in terms of boundaries and standards. In the long-term, ongoing effort may look like a certain level of commitment, mutual trust, and respect. This means writing down the behaviors and traits you find unacceptable (e.g. I will not allow someone who talks to me in a condescending manner to have access to my life; I will not allow anyone I am seeing to treat me coldly) and acting accordingly to cut ties if a partner only shows these red flags – whether it’s two, three, or six months down the line.
It also means writing down what you do want in a partner (e.g. I want someone who is emotionally validating; my partner should feel happy for my success; me and my partner agree on goals regarding marriage and children).
It’s important to remember that you are also allowed to have personal preferences – if for example, you don’t want to date anyone who has close friendships with their exes, or you would prefer a partner who doesn’t drink or smoke, or prefer a partner who doesn’t engage in shady practices on social media (as narcissists are prone to doing), that is your right. Forego the fear of seeming “insecure” by social conditioning which tells you that you’re not allowed to have standards for yourself as a woman. You will be the one dating and possibly entering a relationship with this person, so you are more than welcome to look for someone who meets your specific needs, just as men do while dating.
Keep in mind that while it would be wonderful if the world was equal, it is unfortunately not, and the dating world is no exception. The truth is that women in general face more misogyny, more risk of violence, more mistreatment and less benefits from dating, so you deserve to be impressed before you invest in any dating partner, in case they’re out to exploit or harm you. Instead of committing to a toxic person, make a commitment to yourself that the way they treat you will determine your investment in them.
4. Process your traumas and insecurities as much as possible.
Anyone can be traumatized by a narcissist, but women with childhood trauma or trauma from previous relationships may find themselves having an extra layer of difficulty in cutting ties with narcissistic individuals. That is because the “sweet and mean” cycle of abuse can feel all too familiar and addictive to the brain, especially if you’ve experienced it before at a vulnerable stage of development.
Working on your insecurities and processing your traumas, preferably with a trauma-informed mental health professional, can help you to detach from narcissistic people with more fervor in the future. You’ll be able to identify what wounds and triggers they may be deliberately targeting to exploit you. Once you’ve worked substantially on your healing, you will have a much better chance of exiting the relationship rather than staying within it just because you’ve been conditioned to seek a narcissist’s comfort after they trigger you. You will rely instead on your healthy coping skills and ability to process your trauma, instead of avoiding the trauma they put you through or rationalizing it as a survival mechanism.
Women especially can also find themselves manipulated by the specific tactics narcissists use, such as jealousy induction. This is because there is already a great deal of social conditioning to “compare and compete” and internalized misogyny at play. That is why it is so important to develop a strong self-concept of knowing your worth and irreplaceability, so you do not fall into the trap of vying for a narcissist’s attention and always choose yourself.
Get in touch with what you love and appreciate about yourself and your life – the unique positive traits and qualities that you have that cannot be replicated in another person. This will help you to remember your worth and value, especially when a toxic person is doing something that goes against your core values and standards that you have for your dating partners.
5. Take charge of your finances, career, and living situation. Some women who find themselves having an intense longing and desire for romantic partnership may be subconsciously avoiding the work that is needed in other areas of their lives and unknowingly looking for someone to save them. This can create a void that narcissistic partners can pretend to cater to in the beginning in order to get you to see them as your “savior.” Unfortunately, this can escalate into narcissists isolating you and demanding control over you in return.
If you find that other areas of your life could benefit from your attention such as your finances, career goals, living situation, physical health and friendships, now is the perfect time to work on these areas so you don’t fall into this trap of becoming dependent on anyone for validation.
Start to “date yourself” by getting to know yourself and your aspirations for your best life. What do you like to spend your time doing on your own? What are the types of self-care activities that replenish you and how can you engage in more of these? What would your dream life look like regardless of whether or not you’re in a relationship? What is the kind of career you’d like to have, or if you already have an established career, what goals are you working on to improve that aspect of your life? What would your dream living situation look like and what steps would you have to take now to begin working toward that dream? Are your current friendships, communities and support networks nourishing, or do they need a reevaluation? Are there any fitness goals or goals for your physical health you want to meet?
Learn what aspects of your life need remodeling and take time to “enjoy” the process of pursuing a rewarding life with or without a partner. This will enable you to have plenty of “cushioning” to fall back on regardless of what happens in the dating world and remain centered in yourself rather than your dating partners. It will allow you to stand by your standards with more confidence and knowingness that that you can provide for yourself. It will mitigate any desperate need to be in a relationship at the expense of the abundant, peaceful, fulfilling life you’ve created for yourself.
Dating a narcissist is tough, but what’s even more difficult is having to break a traumatic attachment to them once you’re already invested in a relationship with them. The sooner you exit a toxic situation, the better chance you have of maintaining your freedom and finding the healthy love you do deserve – both within yourself and with others.
Real life isn’t very exciting. For most people, an average day produces exactly zero to one dramatic conversation, unless the person is a reality star or criminal defense lawyer. Thus, if movies reflected real life, then they’d be conflict-free affairs consisting mostly of eating, sending emails, and watching Below Deck Sailing Yacht.
All of this is to say that biopics sometimes blur the lines of reality to keep us entertained. Other times, the writers, directors, and producers of biopics even leave entire facts out, especially if those facts make the main character look bad. Of course, they say it’s to streamline the story or flesh out its themes, but the omission is typically just to make the protagonist more likable. No one wants to watch a biopic about Kim Jong Un.
Still, some omissions in Hollywood biopics seem egregious. Here are some of the worst offenders.
‘The Greatest Showman’This musical biopic about circus magnate P. T. Barnum was one of the biggest surprise hits of 2017. Thanks to word-of-mouth, flashy cinematography, and that catchy soundtrack, this exuberant, touching Hugh Jackman vehicle went on to bank $435 million worldwide. It also got that Bearded Lady song “This is Me” stuck in everyone’s heads for six months.
But the movie never ventured behind the velvet curtains of Barnum’s life, and for good reason. If The Greatest Showman had accurately portrayed its protagonist, there wouldn’t have been anyone singing along. In real life, Barnum was a fraudster and racist who once purchased a black slave to present her as the 161-year-old former caretaker of George Washington. To support his claim and make the woman look older, he pulled out the woman’s teeth. He also exploited a black man named William Henry Johnson in one of his shows, caging him and claiming that he was a “man-monkey” from the forests of Africa. He also often recruited his “freaks” when they were just children and too young to know any better.
‘The Blind Side’Until 2023, The Blind Side was mostly known as a mediocre film that you accidentally watched at the gym because it was playing on TV and you forgot your AirPods. To this day, this writer doesn’t understand how it nabbed so many Oscar nominations. Outside of Sandra Bullock’s affecting work as Leigh Anne Tuohy, it was bland, witless, and predictable. But don’t worry, it was also a lie.
According to real-life former NFL star Michael Oher, Tuohy never adopted Oher like she did in the movie. (In the film, Leigh Tuohy and her husband save Oher from the streets and raise him to become a successful football star.) In real life, the Tuohys just gave Oher handouts until he turned 18, at which point they tricked him into giving them conservatorship over him. From then on, they signed deals – and made millions – off of his name. What do you call a white savior movie where no one is saved?
‘Remember the Titans’This inspirational 2000 drama was peak feel-good filmmaking, featuring Denzel Washington at his finest. In the story, Washington plays Herman Boone, a real coach who once shepherded a high school football team in Alexandria, VA, to a legendary win. He just had to help them get along first: As this was 1971, the team had only recently integrated black players.
In the film, Washington’s character is seen as tough and charismatic; but the reality is far different. Only a few seasons after the events of Remember the Titans, the real-life Boone left his high school in disgrace after a full-team mutiny. According to one former player, he subjected most members of his team to verbal and physical abuse.
‘A Beautiful Mind’Most people who see A Beautiful Mind remember the tragedy of its central character, John Nash. Though he ultimately received a Nobel prize for his pioneering work in mathematics, Nash also suffered from schizophrenia and paranoia for much of his life. However, the reality is even worse: As an anti-semitic closeted queer man, Nash repeatedly harassed male companions and spewed anti-Jewish hate. In fact, these convenient omissions were egregious enough to inspire an entire smear campaign against this movie before the 2002 Oscars. It still won Best Picture, though.
‘Straight Outta Compton’This 2015 hip-hop epic chronicled the life and times of the classic hip-hop group N.W.A., of which Ice Cube and Dr. Dre were both members. As a kinetic, diverting origin story, it was fabulous; and as a hagiography that made its subjects look as morally pristine as possible, it was a work of art. Though the film received accolades for its acting, writing, and directing, it also attracted criticism for refusing to address the dark side of Dre (Corey Hawkins in the movie). In real life, Dr. Dre, or Andre Romell Young, sexually assaulted a TV host in 1991; and this wasn’t his only instance of violating a woman. It was just his most famous. Separately, N.W.A. was also sued after one of its members was accused of raping a 16-year-old. But according to the movie’s director, F. Gary Gray, all of those pesky facts didn’t “serve the narrative.”
‘Oppenheimer’It’s meditative, engrossing, enraging, and an exceptional piece of filmmaking. It’s also wrong. In the film, Robert Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy) achieves martyr status after enduring a rigged anti-science hearing and losing his government security clearance. In reality, however, Oppenheimer was more of a bully than a victim – and far more privileged than he came across on screen.
He grew up with plenty of material resources and received a 28-foot yacht as his 16th birthday present. He enjoyed the services of a chauffeur, a governess, and three live-in maids until he fled to college. Naturally, his success in the field of science earned him even more money, and Oppenheimer spent most of his post-government years living luxuriously on a Caribbean island. Seems like the loss of his security clearance didn’t cut him up too badly.
Plus, as you might expect from someone so privileged, Oppenheimer flaunted a sense of entitlement that rubbed people the wrong way. While he was working towards his PhD, he interrupted seminars so often that his fellow students created a petition against him. He also took credit for the invention of the atomic bomb. That’s right: The thing he’s most known for is actually thanks to breakthroughs from his former colleagues, including Otto Hahn and Fritz Strassmann.
Oh, but the thing about leaving a poisoned apple on his tutor’s desk is true. He did try to murder that person before changing his mind.
When it comes to a lighthearted viewing experience – consistent chuckles and just enough tenderness — Netflix is chock-full of options. If you’re looking for a show you can watch over and over again — laughing at the same jokes viewing after viewing — we’ve got you covered.
‘One Day at a Time The Netflix original sitcom One Day at a Time — a modern reimagining of Norman Lear’s 1975 series of the same name — follows Nurse Penelope (Justina Machado) as she juggles her work and family life. Starring Rita Moreno as the fabulous grandmother with endless wisdom and a tendency to break into dance, the show is heartfelt and buoyant.
One Day at a Time is about finding happiness in the face of strife. It’s about sticking together. It’s about growing up. With a diverse cast of characters and relevant sociocultural commentary on the LGBTQ+ experience, capitalism, and racism in America, the show has a lot to say but always retains its comic center. While certain episodes may lead to the waterworks, the show transitions seamlessly between pulling at the heartstrings and tapping on the funny bone — always guaranteeing a chuckle after a weep.
‘Mr. Iglesias’ Starring funnyman Gabriel Iglesias as a high school history teacher in an underfunded public school, Mr. Iglesias boasts several quippy one-liners and adult-themed plotlines despite its majority youthful cast — all of whom are equally endearing.
Each student boasts a memorable defining character quirk that, though resulting in a bit of two-dimensionality, underscores the show’s cutesy appeal. There’s the Stanford-bound social justice warrior, the himbo who’s in love with her, the girl who yearns to find her voice, the kid who’s probably smoking pot between classes, and don’t forget about the faculty!
Sherri Shepherd’s spotlight-stealing Principal Paula Madison is a hoot. Just give her a leading role in the school play, and she’ll approve any scholastic wishes you may have. Then there’s Christopher McDonald’s Coach Dixon, who’s got an alcohol problem and a suspicious amount of restless energy (but he puts Adderal in his coffee). There’s also the teacher who doesn’t really teach and the pretty redhead who’s led a life of privilege. She does yoga and complains about her long legs, but her thoughtful nature and love for love are endearing qualities that keep her in our good graces.
‘Grace and Frankie’ Starring Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as enemies-turned-besties and Sam Waterston and Martin Sheen as their ex-husbands who divorce them to be together, Grace and Frankie is filled to the brim with unpredictable hysterics. The two ladies create a vibrator for those with arthritis. They create a toilet that rises up to help those with weak knees. They argue all the time, but they love one another.
Grace (Fonda) is a businesswoman. She’s the lady in a pantsuit with perfectly-quaffed hair and a martini in one hand. She’s got a polished stride and a polished nail. Frankie is the eccentric. She’s the artist with outlandish ideas that just may work. She’s got wild curls going every which way and a quirky fashion sense. And, somehow, these women from completely opposite walks of life with perspectives that couldn’t be more different, find common ground. They become soul mates, and no man will ever separate them. Tomlin and Fonda’s comedic timing is impeccable, as is their knack for the more heartwrenching scenes. These actresses are living legends, which the writers use to their advantage.
‘Never Have I Ever’ Devi Vishwakumar yearns to be popular. She wants to date the hottest guy in school, and she is on a mission to transform her life and the lives of her two besties — Eleanor and Fabiola.
Over the course of the show, Devi finds herself managing love triangles, fighting with her mom, and drowning in escapades with her besties, yet she also discovers what really matters in life. She matures. She finds herself and, along the way, discovers her confidence. It’s a feel-good show perfect for the entire family. From the mind of Mindy Kaling, the show is (unsurprisingly) uber-relatable, laugh-out-loud funny, and socially reflective.
‘Heartstopper’ Heartstopper is a tale as old as time with a refreshing LGBTQ+ twist — the jock has feelings for the social outcast (and vice versa). Can the two work? Will Nick’s rugby buddies make fun of him — not just for being queer, but for being with Charlie (the curly-haired and endearingly dweeby guy)? Can Nick and Charlie work when Charlie is out of the closet, and Nick is not? It’s an adorable story of young romance that melts your heart with each passing episode.
The little animated effects around the lead characters — like butterflies swarming around them when they first meet — only augment the show’s serendipitous quality. Staring at each other from across the schoolyard, saying “hi” with a slight smile as if it’s the only word in the dictionary, going out of their comfort zones to impress the other. Heartstopper has all the ingredients for a charming teen dramedy, but it manages to strike an otherwise common chord with a surprising degree of sensitivity and originality.
‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt takes the gold regarding quirky and endearing characters. So, let’s recount. There’s the resilient and contagiously joyful Kimmy, whose optimism knows no bounds. We’ve got the loyal and vulnerable Titus (with self-centered tendencies and a hilarious dramatic flair). The privileged yet evolving Jacqueline. And, of course, the eccentric and unconventional Lilian — whose unapologetic attitude provides endless laughs.
The show is celebrated for its rapid-fire jokes and uplifting message, as it tackles themes like resiliency and empowerment with a light-hearted tone. Satirizing fame, wealth, social media obsession, the consequences of technology, and more, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt jumps seamlessly between utter irreverence and heartwarming reflection, as the main characters take on this big bad world as a united front (sometimes).
‘Family Reunion’ Family Reunion follows a close-knit family struggling to transition from life in Seattle to Georgia — where they live with extended family. With Loretta Devine as Grandma M’Dear and Tia Mowry as Momma Cocoa, the show is filled with heart and humor. It’s also unafraid to tackle topics ranging from police brutality and racial tensions in the South to colorism and class differences. The show spotlights this small family, yet uses their experiences to reflect on communities of color at large.
Most of the time we’re treated to humorous sibling rivalry, some parent-child strife, and marriage difficulties. The show may not be filled with laugh-out-loud moments, but it will definitely make you chuckle, and it’s bound to warm your heart. Don’t test M’Dear. She knows best. Don’t challenge Cocoa. And kids, grow up (but not too fast)!
Quoting Mean Girls isn’t just a sport. It’s a national pastime. Mean Girls is how we make sense of the world, giving the chaos of the universe a recognizable template by which to understand it. More than any writer of her age (and I’m serious), Tina Fey has changed the ways that young people speak and interact with each other, introducing lovely new phrases into the vernacular like “fetch” and “that’s not a thing.” If I had to go an entire day without using a Fey-ism, I don’t know if I could do it. Tina Fey gives me life. She is my reason for being.
With that in mind, I compiled a list of my most-used Mean Girls quotes, in no particular order. This list is in no way an objective compilation, and you may find that your favorite quips vastly differ from mine. That’s one of the great things about it: it’s an endless source of humor to pull from, a veritable Bartlett’s for our age. Do you have favorites I didn’t include? (Hint: I purposefully left a couple favorites off, to give you something to feedback about.) Leave them in the comment section below.
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“Get in loser. We’re going shopping.”
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“Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
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“Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.”
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“We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.”
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“That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.”
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“It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.”
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Janis: “We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina’s whole dirty history.” Damian: “Say crack again.” Janis: “Crack.”
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“But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?”
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“I’m a mouse, duh.”
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“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”
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“I don’t hate you ‘cause your fat. You’re fat ‘cause I hate you!”
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“I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
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“One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
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“I want to lose three pounds.”
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“I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.”
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“’Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.”
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“Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!”
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“If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.”
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“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”
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“Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!”
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“Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!”
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“Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!”
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“You smell like a baby prostitute.”
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“I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”
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“I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that.”
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“Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!”
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“Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”
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“Oh my God, Danny DeVito! I love your work!”
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“I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!”
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“If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
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“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
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“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”
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Damian: “My Nana takes her wig off when she is drunk.” Ms. Norbury: “Your Nana and I have that in common.”
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“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.”
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“She doesn’t even go here!”
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“I hear she does car commercials…in Japan.”
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“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”
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“Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”
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“I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she’d look like a British man.”
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“This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It’s urgent. Thank you.”
Some romance movies fall short of sending healthy messages about relationships, glamorizing toxicity to a point where romanticizing the relationships we’re viewing on screen would be harmful. Other romance movies touch us powerfully, raising our standards in love and transforming the way we look at relationships in meaningful ways. These romance movies pulled at our heartstrings, causing audiences to remember what real love is and why we shouldn’t settle for anything less.
About Time (2013)Universal PicturesUnlike people who simply wish they could change the past, Tim has a unique ability to travel through time and actually change what occurred, a gift that all the men in his family share. Advised by his father not to use the gift to pursue wealth or fame, Tim decides to remodel his love life, going back in time to reconnect with Mary (played by Rachel McAdams), a woman he eventually falls in love with, battling fate and destiny and navigating many diverse life circumstances and choices so he can end up with the one he truly loves. Swoon! Tim is the definition of if he wanted to, he would. If you don’t have a partner who’s willing to sift through alternate timelines for you, what are you even doing?
A Walk to Remember (2002)Warner Bros.If you weren’t singing, “You were all by yourself, staring up at a dark gray sky…I was changed” regularly under your breath to yourself often in the 2000s, you were not living life. Mandy Moore’s debut film A Walk to Remember was one of the most sorrowful and meaningful romance movies audiences had ever seen and for good reason. Rebellious teenager Landon falls in love with the minister’s daughter, Jamie Sullivan, a young woman he’s known since kindergarten, and develops a deep soulful connection with her that is unexpected. He even names a star after her. Talk about raising your standards for love! Unfortunately, Landon discovers Jamie has leukemia, and her life is short-lived, making their moments together extra special and precious until the very end. A Walk to Remember is a powerfully moving romance about love and loss and appreciating every single moment.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)Focus FeaturesSome break-ups leave you depressed, while others leave you seeking a lobotomy. Or an advanced memory erasure procedure that negates the presence of your ex in your brain completely – close enough. When Joel discovers that his ex-girlfriend Clementine had her memories erased by a firm called Lacuna in New York, he decides he wants to do the same. However, during the process, he realizes even his stormiest memories with Clementine contains fragments, clues, and pieces of why he fell in love with her in the first place. As he and Clementine reconnect post “erasure,” they realize all they needed was a reminder that life would essentially be meaningless without our memories of both the beauties and horrors of the world and of our relationships and the lessons learned. While this certainly isn’t a romance movie without its problematic aspects, it is definitely one of those romance movies that stays with you forever.
Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)A24Although this movie isn’t primarily a romance movie, at its heart it contains some of the most powerful messages about love, empathy, and kindness. As Evelyn is pushed to save the multiverse when an alternate version of her daughter Joy becomes an expert in “verse” or universe-jumping and goes to the dark side, she travels through many different parallel realities where is living more successfully as a film star, chef, scientist, and kung fu master. Yet in her journey, she discovers that the universe where she’s originally from is the one she wants to stay in, and as she appreciates the kindness and empathy in different versions of her husband, Waymond, she falls in love with the husband in her own reality all over again. Her husband Waymond also delivers one of most romantic lines in the film, saying, “In another life, I would have really just liked doing laundry and taxes with you,” in the reality where she is a famous movie star who never got married to him, reminding viewers that the man that is truly for you would choose you in every lifetime, and in every universe.
When news broke of Matthew Perry’s untimely death, the world mourned one of the greatest comedic talents. Most celebrated for his role as Chandler Bing in Friends, Matthew’s sardonic wit and humor brought a much-needed honest charm to the series. And although he was “awkward and lonely and desperate for love,” he was also a heartbreaker in more ways than one.
In reality, Matthew was a charmer—Selma Blair and Gwyneth Paltrow remembered his flirtatious energy and quick wit. This charm peeked through his portrayal of Chandler, an archetype of an attractive man who needs therapy but instead uses humor as a defense mechanism. Of course, this led to many love interests for Chandler, some of whom we loved and some of whom may not have been the right fit. Luckily, he found his happily ever after with Monica, but only after many love trials and tribulations. So here’s our official ranking of Chandler’s girlfriends.
Best: Monica Geller (Courteney Cox)We would be remiss if we didn’t make Monica Geller Chandler’s best girlfriend. Apparently, Courteney and Matthew’s chemistry was so good that, although writers hadn’t planned to pair them up, they decided to explore the option in Season 3. Fans loved them together after “The One With the Flashback” in which they share a long, intimate hug while Chandler comforts Monica.
In “The One With the Jellyfish,” the Season 4 premiere, Monica says that she wouldn’t sleep with him if he was the last man on Earth. But by the Season 4 finale, they’ve jumped into bed together, at first for comfort, and then for love. As their relationship develops beyond friendship, their sexual relationship turns into a romantic one, and we love that Monica is the one who gets Chandler to finally embrace commitment. We could go on and on with our favorite moments of the two of them, but they bring out the best in each other, becoming our TV mom and dad by the series finale.
Janice Litman-Goralnik (Maggie Wheeler)Some people might say that Janice is the worst, but those people would be wrong. Janice is a strong and independent woman who knows who she is, and she takes no BS from Chandler or any of the Friends. While Janice is often the butt of jokes—her nasal voice and overbearing nature are pure fodder for sitcom humor—she is open and loving and teaches Chandler to embrace commitment. When she cheats on him with her ex-husband, it’s devastating (and a good reason to rank her lower), but this allows Chandler to let her go.
Marjorie (Christina Moore)Marjorie is a sweetheart, so we have no complaints. The only issue is that she screams violently in her sleep, which obviously isn’t ideal for Chandler (or Joey). Even though it didn’t work out, she’s Chandler’s last girlfriend before he jumps into bed with Monica, so we don’t really mind that it doesn’t grow into a long-term relationship.
Nina Bookbinder (Jennifer Grant)Nina is perfectly nice and perfectly sweet, but Chandler should have never dated her in the first place. When he’s faced with firing her, he makes her look crazy instead to save face. We don’t discover too much about Nina before she is gone, but she does not bring out Chandler’s best side.
Joanna (Alison La Placa)Joanna and Chandler’s relationship is a weird one. She immediately crushes on Chandler, who goes out with her only to realize that she’s a “big dull dud.” But Chandler’s fault in the situation is that he’s not upfront with her. It’s okay that they’re not compatible! Then, Chandler bumps into her and they go out again. She locks him in her office with sexy handcuffs, which some people (including Chandler) might not like, but it’s hilarious, especially after how he treated her.
Aurora (Sofia Milos)Aurora is the epitome of a hot, ethnically ambiguous woman who men believe is out of their league. She teaches Chandler to be more confident in himself and in his looks, but her polyamorous lifestyle doesn’t match up with Chandler’s desires. Although her time as an Israeli soldier and her unique background make her an interesting character, we can’t help but feel that she feeds into an archetype of the hot, mysterious, unattainable woman. And Aurora’s multiple boyfriends only heighten that characterization.
Jade (Brittney Powell)Jade is definitely not Chandler’s ideal girlfriend. He basically tricks her into sleeping with him by pretending to be Jade’s ex, Bob, and then shows up as a shoulder to cry on when “Bob” stands her up. It’s definitely not a great look for Chandler, and Jade’s disinterest in Chandler after they hang out makes it clear that they’re not a good match.
Ginger (Sherilyn Fenn)We love when Chandler gets the girl, but it’s not as fun when that girl turns out to be Joey’s ex. Of course, Joey acted weird about Ginger’s wooden leg, but Chandler rose above it. However, Ginger couldn’t get past Chandler’s third nipple, which is pretty hypocritical and shallow of Ginger. We love his nubbin!
Susie “Underpants” Moss (Julia Roberts)Susie is so disappointing because we loved the potential for more of Matthew and Julia’s on-screen romance. Their chemistry was off the charts, mirroring their off-screen relationship. But we have to give it to Susie for getting her revenge on Chandler, who pulled up her skirt in elementary school (which led to her unfortunate nickname).
Worst: Kathy (Paget Brewster)Kathy was the woman who changed everything for Chandler, but she also broke his heart the most. She started dating Chandler by cheating on Joey. Then, her relationship with Chandler ended because she cheated on him with her co-star. Despite showing Chandler that he was ready for a real relationship, which led him to Monica, Kathy is definitely the worst for breaking our boy’s heart.
If you’re swooning for Paris while watching the Summer Olympics, these movies will make you want to go there even more.
Have you watched the Opening Ceremony for Paris 2024? Between the singing disembodied Marie Antoinette heads, the accidentally queer Last Supper, the upside-down Olympic flag, and the rousing Celine Dion comeback, it was chaotic and magnificent all at once. I meaaaan! If you watched the whole lead-up to Celine’s performance without bursting into tears by the final note, then you need therapy. Between Celine’s post-Stiff Person Syndrome power ballad and Simone Biles’ post-”twisties” gold medal run, Paris 2024 has officially become the Summer Olympics with the most comebacks made by people with fake-sounding diseases.
Even if you didn’t cry during Celine’s performance (and again, how could you not, you soulless monster), you probably felt another understandable sensation: An insatiable need for baguettes. After all, the Opening Ceremony was more than a spectacle – it was a celebration of France. Amid sweeping views of Paris landmarks, the telecast featured videos and performances that highlighted the fashion, values, history, and traditions of a country that has seduced and mystified the world. The goal, unspoken but still clear, was to make you book a ticket to Paris ASAP.
It made me think of some other cultural products that have contributed to France’s “soft power” in the international tourism industry. Ironically, my brainstorm didn’t turn up many movies made by actual French people. French-made movies set in Paris tend to dwell on the city’s unsavory aspects; think 1960’s Breathless, or 2019’s crime drama Les Misérables. In other words, they don’t make you want to go. Still, Paris is internationally famous for a reason, and the following five movies spotlight its facets that appeal most to you and me (a.k.a. non-Parisians, a.k.a. culturally bereft Neanderthals).
Amélie (2001)UGC FoxThe Paris of Amélie is a lot glossier than the real thing – especially with regards to the titular character’s Montmartre neighborhood. That said, both Amélie and Montmartre have views and whimsical residents to spare, and this unabashedly romantic movie will make you want to experience them yourself. I’ll always remember the moment when an old woman at a Montmartre restaurant squeezed my cheek, clicked her tongue, and told me I had a punchable face. I think something was lost in translation.
Paris, je t’aime (2006)La Fabrique de FilmsThis anthology is actually a collection of 18 shorts, with each one set in one of Paris’ 20 arrondissements, or districts. Directed by a range of French and international directors, the movie whisks you from Paris’s glamorous center to its dusty fringes, introducing you to scoundrels and poets along the way. There are some famous faces in the mix: Natalie Portman, Elijah Wood, Willem Dafoe. Still, its most relatable – and FOMO-inducing – short may be its last one, in which Character Actress Margo Martindale embarks upon a touching, life-changing journey through Paris. Her broken, clumsy French will inspire you to not just buy a plane ticket, but buy a French lesson on iTalki.
Before Sunset (2004)Warner IndependentThough the Before trilogy’s talkiness does not usually appeal to people with my level of ADHD-adjacentness, I miraculously focused for an entire one hour and twenty minutes in order to watch this Before Sunrise sequel on DVD. (Remember when DVDs were a thing?) Anyway, this movie made me want to fall in love in Paris before I could vote. Though Before Sunset doesn’t shy away from Paris’s realities – homelessness, pointlessly long walks – it still makes you swoon. And practice your table manners. (Because you already booked your flight to Paris after the second movie on this list and don’t want to embarrass yourself when you get there.)
Midnight in Paris (2011)Sony PicturesThe less said about this movie’s director the better (it’s Woody Allen), but we shouldn’t let the sins of the man detract from the fine work of his cast and crew. Nor should we cancel every movie that was ever made by a terrible person; otherwise, there’d be five movies left. In any case, I’d like to separate the art from the artist here, because Midnight in Paris perfectly captures the hypnotic effect that this city can have on tourists. As it follows Owen Wilson’s unserious writer on an epic time-traveling adventure through the City of Light, it sells a Paris that gleams with art, fulfillment, and inspiration.
Ratatouille (2007)Disney PixarThe music! The promise of fine cuisine! The young love! This movie has everything that non-French people have come to associate with Paris, plus a talking rat. Of course, by this point, you’ve probably already booked your Paris ticket, but Ratatouille will seal the deal if you’re a straggler.
No matter how toxic (and pointless) it is to continue pining for an ex, most women have a near impossible time letting go and moving forward.
Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable. You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. And let’s say you got fired from that job. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved. You’ll realize it was for the best and will be thankful that you are now free to find a job that is better suited for you, one where you will feel valued and appreciated. You won’t spend sleepless nights pining for that old job, wondering what went wrong and what else you could have done. You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.
Flickr / Nicki VarkevisserNow let’s say you’re in a relationship where you feel perpetually stressed, anxious, worried, and miserable. You put everything you have into making it work, you give it your all, even at the expense of your dignity and emotional well-being. You put up a good fight, but it’s not enough and he breaks up with you. You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. You spend months, maybe even years, pining away.
Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job.
With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that get involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage.As a result, when a relationship ends it’s not just the other person that’s missing, a lot of pieces of yourself also need to be retrieved. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the reason they’re so sad after a breakup is because they genuinely miss their former partner. This is true to an extent, but it’s far from the whole picture. The pain we feel comes from several sources, and most have nothing to do with the ex himself.
Here are the real reasons it’s so hard to get over him:
- You think you’ll never find anyone as amazing as himThis is the biggest breakup myth of all and the reason most people find it so hard to get over their first love. They cling to the belief that since they never experienced anything like that before, they never will again.
You convince yourself that no other man on the planet has the same qualities as him and thus, you have two choices: get him back or settle for someone who will never measure up. I hope you can recognize the absurdity in this! Will you meet someone else exactly like him? No, because no two people are exactly alike and even still, you and he broke up proving someone exactly like him is not exactly what you need. You won’t find someone with his exact qualities….you will find someone even better and more compatible with you.
- You were infatuatedMost people confuse true love with infatuation even though these two concepts couldn’t be more different. Love is about realistically seeing who the other person is, flaws and all, and appreciating the entire picture. It doesn’t make demands or need things to be a certain way, it grows and flows effortlessly creating an environment where both people bring out the best in one another.
Infatuation is about creating an unrealistic image of who the other person is and turning him into some supreme, perfect being. The biggest sign you’re infatuated is if you can’t find a single flaw in the other person. Infatuation usually happens because you have a void in your life that he fills. You don’t feel good enough about yourself and this supreme being shows interest in you, making you feel desirable and worthy, and you cling to him for more of that feeling.
His approval makes you feel OK…it makes you feel “good enough,” at least temporarily. Since he gives you something you need so desperately, you become terrified of losing him, and then the panic sets in…what if he loses interest? How can I keep him?
You let him get away with as much bad behavior as he wants because you’re too afraid to call him out and risk losing him. As he retreats, you do anything in your power to reel him back in. You’re in a relationship where you’re not being treated the way you want, and yet, you can’t rip yourself away. So you stay.
Eventually it ends leaving you more fractured and empty than before. You continue to idealize him and think the only way you’ll ever feel better is if he comes back. Self-love always starts from within, it can never be attained from the outside. Until you realize this, you will remain in heartbreak’s unrelenting grip.
- You sold yourself out.This ties into being infatuated. In unhealthy relationships, we will often “sell ourselves out” in an effort to make it work. Selling yourself out means accepting behavior that you would otherwise consider unacceptable, or attempting to be someone your not. Maybe you don’t speak up anymore, maybe you aren’t the same bubbly, confident person you once were, maybe you put him and his needs above your own.
The emotional devastation you feel after a breakup is usually proportional to the extent you sold yourself out. When these relationships end, you will often feel like a piece of you is missing, like you aren’t whole. It’s a miserable, almost sickening feeling. You might feel like getting him back is the only cure, but it’s not. What you need to do is look at yourself and really try to determine why it is you accepted such poor treatment for so long, and what steps you can take to avoid getting into a situation like this again.
- You miss the way he made you feelMost of the time, it’s not the guy you’re missing…it’s the feelings you experienced when you were with him. You miss the intimacy, the closeness, the feeling of being desired and admired. You miss the way he made you feel more than who he actually is.
There is almost always a period of withdrawal after an important element of our life is gone. Whether it’s your decision to make the excision or not, there will suddenly be a void and you may feel unbalanced as you try to cope without the thing that was once there to fuel you. It’s like quitting coffee or cigarettes. At first you think you’ll never be able to make it through the day without your “fix.” It will definitely be hard at first, but when you push past the initial discomfort, you will be able to function just as well, or even better, than before!
When you go through a breakup, you may be missing the feeling of being loved and cared for. To fill this empty space, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and love you for who you are. Focus on re-building your life in a way that makes you feel fulfilled and content with who you are. You probably relied on him to give you a feeling of worth, and now it’s time to take ownership and give it to yourself.
- You gave up your lifeA boyfriend can often quickly go from being a part of your life to being your entire life. You stop seeing your friends as much, doing hobbies you enjoy, pursuing your passions. You want to spend every free moment with him and can’t pry yourself away. It feels like he’s your everything…because he is! And when “everything” leaves, you’re left with nothing. You feel empty, like a piece of you is missing.
The fact is, a lot of pieces of you are missing and he isn’t the final magical puzzle piece. It starts with re-building your life and making it full and balanced. When you drop other elements of your life and have your guy fill that space, you will have a huge hole once he leaves you. Realize that this hole isn’t because he was the other half of your soul, but rather because you threw a lot of important elements of your life overboard.
- You took it too personallyA lot of the time, the pain we feel after a breakup is really the throb of a severely bruised ego. Rejection hurts, even if it had nothing to do with you it can still sting and make you feel like you’re somehow not good enough. Sometimes two people just aren’t a match, it’s as simple as that. Sometimes both people can see this with perfect clarity, and sometimes only one person does.
This post originally appeared at A New Mode
Compared to most TV shows of its era, it’s safe to say that Community never achieved the same long-standing popularity as its fellow NBC sister series like The Office or Parks and Recreation. Experiencing a turbulent production history that saw the dismissal and abrupt return of creator Dan Harmon, the dramatic departure of star Chevy Chase, and a short-lived return on Yahoo! Screen, Community’s eventful background might account for its lack of widespread success among TV audiences in the 2010s.
Yet even then, it’s impossible to deny Community’s growing fan base among contemporary viewers – something best reflected by its flourishing cult status and the planned release of an upcoming Community movie. As we all anxiously await the long-promised cinematic finale to Community, we thought we’d take a look back at Dan Harmon’s genre-bending, meta-aware comedy series, listing some of Community’s greatest episodes in order from worst to best.
Epidemiology (Season 2, Episode 6)Community has never shied away from cobbling together entire episodes to distinct cinematic genres. Just as they’d done a great job lampooning ‘80s action movies, ‘60s Rankin/Bass stop motion holiday films, and Scorsese-esque crime movies, Harmon and company once again handed in a delightful genre episode with season two’s “Epidemiology.” A fittingly macabre homage to classic zombie films, “Epidemiology” almost certainly ranks as the funniest (and scariest) Halloween-themed Community episode fans ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Cooperative Calligraphy (Season 2, Episode 8)Deep down, everyone dreads the idea of a bottle episode, rolling their eyes whenever they witness their favorite TV characters forced to inhabit a disappointingly limited setting. Subverting the stereotypes surrounding the conventional bottle episode, “Cooperative Calligraphy” discovers a way to present its sparse storyline in a new and exciting way. Tense, original, and genuinely cathartic in its central plot point, “Cooperative Calligraphy” never succumbs to its self-enforced limitations, capturing the same nuanced tone as all the best Community episodes before and after it.
Basic Lupine Urology (Season 3, Episode 17)Community had previously flirted with a buddy cop-oriented episode with season one’s “The Science of Illusion,” but it would take the series another two seasons before Harmon crafted the ultimate police procedural homage with “Basic Lupine Urology.” Sprinkling numerous references to Law & Order throughout its fast-moving 22-minute runtime, “Basic Lupine Urology” showed off Community’s overarching ability to transform itself in any genre-based movie or TV show imaginable, no matter how absurdly niche it seemed on paper.
Modern Warfare (Season 1, Episode 23)There’s a reason most fans hold out hope that the long-awaited Community movie will feature a paintball war at the center of its plotline. A fan-favorite concept used a total of three times throughout Community’s six seasons, “Modern Warfare” kicked off the series’ paintball-themed subseries with a literally explosive bang. Parodying the kinds of ‘80s action films that usually starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Sylvester Stallone, “Modern Warfare” deserves a spot on every list of best Community episodes if only for introducing viewers to its chaotic paintball-themed central premise.
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (Season 2, Episode 14)“Advanced Dungeons & Dragons” might have endured its share of controversy in recent years, mainly owing to Chang’s ill-advised use of dark elf makeup. Critical reassessments aside, however, “Advanced Dungeons & Dragons” assuredly stands tall as one of Community’s very finest episodes. Constructing its main narrative around such relevant topics as bullying and mental health, “Advanced Dungeons & Dragons” gets viewers to laugh even as they ponder the deeper implications of its plot, including Pierce’s monstrous treatment of the depressed Neil.
Pillows and Blankets (Season 3, Episode 14)As Community entered its third season, Harmon and his writers began to look to more unorthodox sources of inspiration for their episodic storylines. Case in point with “Pillows and Blankets,” the Ken Burns-inspired documentary episode detailing the epic war between Troy’s Blanketsburg and Abed’s Pillowtown. A first-rate mockumentary upon first glance, “Pillows and Blankets” also excels at analyzing the unique bond between Abed and Troy, as well as highlighting Jeff’s own emotional growth into a more compassionate friend for his fellow study group members.
Remedial Chaos Theory (Season 3, Episode 4)A fitting name for an unforgettably anarchic episode, “Remedial Chaos Theory” puts its alternative branching storylines to endless good use. Investing itself in the concept of parallel universes, “Remedial Chaos Theory” introduces viewers to such fan-favorite ideas as the “Darkest Timeline” – a Bizarro world constantly referenced time and time again throughout Community’s later seasons. As humorous as its opposing timelines might be, “Remedial Chaos Theory’s” strongest characteristic is its in-depth character exploration, as well as its ability to highlight just how important each character is to the study group as a whole.
They hate each other. They despise the very notion of each other. Rivals, enemies, they need to be anywhere but in their presence. And yet…something grows and changes. After all, hate is so close to love. And by the end of the story, they utter those five fateful words: “I thought you hated me.” The enemies-to-lovers trope is perfect for people who love a bit of fire and spice. The next time you need a hit of this classic romance plot, try one of these enemies to lovers rom com movies that you can stream right now.
Sweet Home Alabama (2002)Buena Vista PicturesMelanie just got the proposal of her life, but there’s a problem: She has to officially divorce her estranged husband, Jake. She goes back to Alabama to get him to sign the papers, but it’s like they’re right back where they left off. The hatred between Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas feels so real, and so does their well-earned happy ending. Watch Sweet Home Alabama on Hulu.
27 Dresses (2008)20th Century FoxHow could you look at cynical James Marsden and not immediately fall in love with him? Katherine Heigl’s Jane manages to pull it off. It doesn’t help that he thinks her life goal of helping women have the best wedding ever is silly and laughable. They don’t well together…until they do. Watch 27 Dresses on Disney+.
When Harry Met Sally (1989)Columbia PicturesHarry and Sally couldn’t be more different. One believes in true romantic love while the other is a cynical bastard. They clash immediately and continue to clash as they float in and out of their lives for years to come. This is one of those classics that remains at the top of so many people’s best-of lists. Watch When Harry Met Sally on Amazon Video.
Red, White & Royal Blue (2023)Amazon StudiosA new one for fans of enemies-to-lovers, Alex is the son of the American president and Henry is the Prince of England. They couldn’t be more different and they can’t help but antagonize each other every time they come into contact. When Henry’s sister’s wedding ends in disaster, they must pretend to be best friends for the sake of public relations. I gushed about it after the release if you want to read my review. Watch Red, White & Royal Blue on Prime Video.
Pride and Prejudice (2005)Universal PicturesMr. Darcy seems to hate Lizzie Bennet, and she’s frankly not even interested in entertaining the reason why. Why bother with a prick who thinks he’s better than everyone? The confessions toward the end of this movie are some of the best around. And while there are plenty of versions of this Jane Austen classic to choose from, I had to go with the one that brought us everyone’s favorite hand-flexing shot. IYKYK. Watch Pride and Prejudice on Starz.
Fire Island (2022)Searchlight PicturesHow about a modern queer retelling of Pride & Prejudice? Rather than some stuffy rich English people, we find ourselves on Fire Island for legendary gay partying. Noah just wants to have one final great summer with his friends, but the stuffy, no-fun Will keeps showing up and sucking the fun out of everything. Watch Fire Island on Hulu.
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)Universal PicturesBridget is a quirky singleton who’s just trying to fall in love with her boss in peace, but Mark Darcy keeps showing up to get thoroughly on her nerves. This is for all of you who wished I’d put the Colin Firth version of Pride & Prejudice on the list. He’s just as good in this, if not better. Watch Bridget Jones’s Diary on Max.
Leap Year (2010)Universal PicturesAnna needs a ride to Dublin so she can propose to her boyfriend on Leap Day, but the only person available to drive her in the small Irish town she ended up in is the curmudgeonly and jaded Declan. He thinks her romantic notions are stupid and foolish and he isn’t afraid to say it. But a lot can happen on a two-day road trip. Watch Leap Year on Amazon Video.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)Paramount PicturesAndie is set on proving you can drive away men with your neediness, and Benjamin wants to prove that he can make any woman fall in love when him. When they end up choosing each other for their experiments, they have to hide their hate by pretending to like each other, only to inadvertently fall for real in the process. Watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days on Paramount+.
The Hating Game (2021)Vertical EntertainmentLucy and Josh are dueling assistants for their companies co-executives, but their approaches are thoroughly different. They spend their days making a game out of despising each other, but when a sudden kiss in the elevator throws them off, they’re not sure what to do next. While it’s not as good as the book, it’s still a must-watch for fans of enemies-to-lovers. Watch The Hating Game on Hulu.
Romantic comedies are all about selling you the package deal of instant soulmates and hilarious misunderstandings. They’re the ideal that we’re all looking for, right? The measuring stick we use when we’re looking for the loves of our lives. But, while some rom com couples are paragons of everything you should strive for, like compassion, mutual understanding, and intense sexual magnetism, some iconic duos aren’t as great as they seemed. Would they even still be together after the credits rolled? Some couples have staying power, and others are just disasters in the making. Today, we’ve compiled our favorite and least favorite couples from romantic comedies. Are your favorites on the list?
Best: Kat and Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About YouBuena Vista PicturesThere’s something special about two misfits finding each other. Kat is the holier-than-thou, artistic, anti-social girlie we all strive to be. Patrick is the misunderstood bad boy with a heart of gold. And while he enters into their relationship with some shady goals (don’t get secretly paid to date someone, friends), by the end of the movie, he’s so head-over-heels for Kat that it makes up for their bad beginning.
Despite being outcasts and oddballs, Kat and Patrick fit together perfectly. They love each other just as they are, not trying to change how judgmental Kat is or how apathetic Patrick can be. They’re in it for the long haul, accepting each other’s faulting and falling in love anyway. And who wouldn’t want someone willing to embarrass themselves in front of the whole school while singing on the bleachers?
Worst: Sandy and Danny in GreaseParamount PicturesIt looks like a couple of musical numbers might be hiding something more sinister. While the bulk of the plot of Grease feels very equitable between Sandy and Danny, that’s quickly abandoned as the credits roll. For these horny teens, they’re like exact opposites. Danny is the bad boy leader of the T-Birds greaser gang while Sandy is a virtuous and inexperienced cheerleader from across the pond. But both try to improve themselves to fit with the other.
It all starts with Danny attempting to join a sport. He goes through the whole catalog of after-school activities until finally landing on one that would eventually earn him a letterman’s sweater. Cute! But as soon as he sees that Sandy has done similar, donning skin-tight black pants, perming her hair into unruly curls, and smoking a cigarette, Danny immediately ditches his sweater and is back to his bad boy ways. Their relationship proves that, in this classic rom com, it’s the woman’s job to change for her man, and not the other way around.
Best: Sasha and Marcus in Always Be My MaybeNetflixNothing beats the friends-to-lovers arc of Always Be My Maybe. Sasha and Marcus grew up next door to each other, best friends from the start. When one awkward night at the end of high school gets them way closer than they ever would have thought, it ends up tearing them apart. Now, adults who no longer speak to each other, Sasha and Marcus’s lives have diverted so much.
You’d think that it wouldn’t work. That Sasha’s intense celebrity chef career wouldn’t mesh with Marcus’s vague slacker energy and admittedly bomb-ass music, but the chemistry is wild between the pair. You can’t get to the end of this movie without thinking that they’re meant to be together. Adorable soulmates, through and through. And it all comes down to supporting each other for who they are, and not who the other wants them to be. May we all have a love like Sasha and Marcus.
Worst: Kathleen and Joe in You’ve Got MailWarner Bros.It pains me to say this, but Kathleen Kelly should not have ended up with Joe “F-O-X” Fox. It’s not that they were from rival bookstores. It’s not that his mega store wound up destroying her cute little kids’ book store. It’s not even that he didn’t say right away once he found out that it was her that he’d been having an anonymous AIM relationship with for so long. What is it then? The gaslighting-adjacent manipulation, of course.
There’s a moment in You’ve Got Mail when it seems like the right moment for Joe to reveal that he’s NY152. Kathleen just closed her store, she has a terrible cold, and Joe visits her with a bouquet of flowers. They even have a moment where it seems like she understands. And then we get seemingly weeks or months of him perpetuating an elaborate lie, having NY152 string her along, befriending her so she can fall in love with him and feel confused about her warring feelings between friend and online beau. He could have said something at any point, but he instead waits until her emotional turmoil is at its peak before revealing who he’d been the whole time. No relationship should start with manipulation and lies–not even between rom com royalty, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
Best: The Body Double Couple in Love ActuallyUniversal PicturesLove Actually is packed with a slew of romantic relationships large and small, from love transcending language barriers to the absolute devastation that Alan Rickman serves Emma Thompson. By far the cutest and most goal-worthy romance is actually one of the smallest and most unassuming: The body double couple.
They work together as stand-ins for nude scenes filmed on a movie set. They’re just there to show some skin and get out, but in the “hurry up and wait” downtime between takes, they get to know each other so well. You’d think that simulating sex acts for the cameras would make them bold, yet it’s the shyness they both have with each other that makes their relationship incredibly endearing. Watching Martin Freeman’s joyous face after she says “All I want for Christmas is you,” is enough to make anyone believe in love again. The pair end the movie with a ring on her finger and we’d like to think they’re married to this day, almost 20 years later.
Worst: Janis Ian and Kevin G in Mean GirlsParamount PicturesMost of the relationships in this movie likely didn’t last beyond a year following the end credits (sorry Cady and Aaron), but by far the worst offender is Janis Ian and Kevin G. Where’s the chemistry? Absolutely nowhere. Their romance feels shoe-horned in just to give their characters–especially the acerbic fan favorite, Janis Ian–a happy ending. Something tells me that a more realistic happy ending for Janis would be finding joy in things other than romance, like a kickass art career or a continued boss friendship with Damian. Alas, a happy ending for every female character in a rom-com is romantic love, regardless of whether they’d want it or not.
Treat dating as a potential liability, not an automatic benefit.Many women are conditioned to approach dating and relationships as if there’s a heightened sense of urgency to “find the one.” As a result, they tend to choose partners out of a need for validation or to derive a sense of self-worth from their relationship status, rather than authentic desire. It’s important to deprogram the harmful myths you’ve internalized about romantic relationships to the point where you would rather be on your own than with a toxic partner so you do not settle for less just to settle down. If you’re not quite at that stage yet, it can be helpful to thoroughly read the stories of women who’ve struggled in even the happiest of marriages and the research on the risks and burdens of marriage, childbirth, and childrearing, and how these risks are heightened when you are with the wrong partner. Usually, women are trained since adolescence to seek out the benefits of relationships without knowing the costs, but being with the wrong partner can deplete your mental health, deplete your finances, make you lose your identity, and cause you to take detours in pursuing your dreams. Ensure you know these risks and costs so you can assess whether a potential partner is actually adding value to your life, rather than detracting from it and potentially going to change your life-course trajectory in irreversible ways.
Stop “pre-choosing” people before they’ve proven themselves worthy of being chosen to you.Often, women follow the assumption that everyone should be trusted automatically unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them. This is one of the worst mistakes you can make in the dating world as a woman. If you haven’t built a solid foundation of organic trust over time, where your dating partner has shown themselves to be trustworthy across diverse contexts, there’s no need to give out your trust so freely. Be cautiously optimistic but possess a healthy skepticism. Don’t disclose your vulnerabilities, traumas, innermost secrets to potential wolves in sheep’s clothing and give people you don’t know well ammunition to use against you, and do not give someone a map to manipulate you.
Due to the rampant and pervasive nature of hookup culture, it’s even more important for a woman to not give “instructions” to a man looking to cosplay her deepest desires just to get her into bed. Sit back and observe someone’s behavior, rather than “tell” someone what to do, so you can witness how someone behaves in their natural state. Strike a balance between sharing more of yourself as you get more comfortable and get to know the person better before you share the privilege of who you are. Learn to differentiate between genuine generosity and a “provider mentality” that naturally comes from a high-quality man and a man who only gives in order to use you in some way.
Date to investigate compatibility, not to marry.You may have a life goal of getting married, or ending up with a lifelong partner, but that doesn’t mean that goal is meant for the particular person in front of you on a date. Relax! Again, remember that every person you date is a potential liability to invest in. Due to the higher burdens and risks women take on in the dating world, a high-quality partner is someone who will want to impress you and treat you well long-term. Dating is all about exploring compatibility and having fun. If it turns out the people you’re dating don’t share your core values, act in ways that are out of line with integrity, display red flags, or trespass your boundaries, be thankful you are in the early stages and are able to get out of a toxic situation early. Celebrate not just your wins, but your so-called “losses” whenever you discover that someone you thought you connected with wasn’t actually who you thought they were or exhibited red flags – these too, are gains, and lessons that teach you what you do want in a lifelong partner. Don’t fall prey to the sunk cost fallacy – you will only lose more by investing too much of yourself in partners who don’t honor you and what you authentically desire.
Center yourself and your standards, not your dating partner. Decentering your dating partner is a profound act of self-care in a world that teaches women to lower their standards in order to be in a relationship. Get in touch with your standards and boundaries early on before dating and work on leveling up in all facets of your life (financially, mentally, physically) so you know that you’re already a healthy version of yourself and can stay grounded in who you are and what you want when meeting potential partners. Learn to enjoy your own company so you know the difference between having a genuinely good time with someone as opposed to experiencing the relief of not being alone. Many women, when they learn how to do this, actually get addicted to the peace and joy of being on their own! That’s a good thing. It means a dating partner has to be high-quality and add value to your life in order to stay in it. When you’ve reached this level of emotional mastery, this is where the fun begins.
Samantha Jones boasts some quotes to live by in ‘Sex and the City.’ Here are our favorites.
Samantha Jones — with a quick tongue, an admirable air of independence, and a sexually liberated mentality — quickly became a beloved staple of Sex and the City. She brought much of the “sex” that the title so clearly alludes to. She was confident and unafraid to rock a dress with a slit cut down to there or a little bedazzled glamour that ageist members of proper society would deem inappropriate. She would strut down a red carpet with shoulders back in five-inch heels — ready to fire a quippy remark at anyone who dared to scoff. Her absence in And Just Like That… leaves a gaping black hole where saucy escapades and jaw-dropping one-liners used to be. While the show has added some new faces — like Seema, Nya, and Lisa — no one can step into Samantha’s stilettos and deliver that same sashay she employed to sink into our hearts.
Though Samantha is not in And Just Like That — sans a very brief appearance in the season 2 finale — we don’t need a reason to reminisce about her greatest moments. So, let’s turn back the clock to the late ‘90s and early 2000s and spotlight Samantha’s most memorable lines.
“I love you, but I love me more.”Samantha had several romantic partners — and memorable one-night thrills — throughout Sex and the City. However, she never sacrificed her identity for a man. She never put her happiness (or her career) behind someone else’s. She was content to be alone and self-realized rather than coupled, but as the shell of a woman she could be. She loved herself the most, and this is a lesson many of us could learn from.
“I’m the try-sexual, honey. I’ll try anything once.”This may be one of Samantha’s most-quoted lines, as it perfectly captures her sexually adventurous spirit. Samantha was never timid in the bedroom, nor was she timid went it came to explaining her encounters in vivid, photographic detail. She did not subscribe to the sexist and misogynistic idea that women should be “vanilla” and/or sexually hesitant, as to suggest purity and respectability. She knew that was a load of crap, and her sex life only furthered her glorious feminist characterization.
“Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls… because they can.”Though this quote isn’t exactly male-friendly — as it likens the male member of our species to the canine — it’s not totally unfounded. Men are statistically more likely to cheat than women. While there may be multiple reasons at play, the fact remains that some people will cheat if they know they will get away with it — regardless of the status of their marriage. Samantha never shied away from a tough pill to swallow. In short, the ignorance is bliss approach and Samantha Jones do not coexist.
Kim Cattrall set to reprise her role as Samantha Jones in "Sex and the City" spinoff https://t.co/pwexUtmaBj
— CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) June 1, 2023
“A guy gets angry in a meeting, he’s a pistol. A woman, she’s emotional.”Samantha was a powerful businesswoman; thus, she faced the rampant sexist and patriarchal standards that define the corporate world one too many times in Sex and the City. She understood the standards were different for her. She understood that emotionality in the office is passion and determination concerning men, but hormonal and unpredictable concerning women. And, as Samantha does, she called it out.
“I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever I want and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel.”This quote surfaces in a conversation between Carrie and Samantha a few scenes after Carrie walks in on Samantha giving a blowjob to a delivery guy — and allows an expression of judgment to crawl across her face. Samantha’s statement is powerful and succinct. It may be racy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not pointed. She knows that she will come up against people whose standards for behavior are rooted in antiquated notions that deserve to be put to rest, but that doesn’t mean she will deal with it or allow such ideas to flourish uncontested.
“I am fifty-f*cking-two and I will rock this dress.”As Samantha’s selecting a dress for a red carpet premiere, an innocent saleswoman asks her, “Is that maybe a little young?” And well, in Samantha fashion, she puts her in her place. There is no age limit on fashion. Wear what you want. You have one life to live, and you might as well live it in a designer gown that makes people stare and swoon. Eat your hearts out 20-somethings; Samantha is going to show you up.
mother samantha jones comes home next week!!!!!#AndJustLikeThat
pic.twitter.com/oPjFimLfY1
— lori megan ☽ (@lorimeganxo) August 17, 2023
“Fck me badly once, shame on you. Fck me badly twice, shame on me.”A more risque take on “Fool me once…” this is Samantha at her Samantha-est. She has no time in life for bad sex. Once: How was she supposed to know? Twice: How did she delude herself into thinking round two would be any better than round one?! We only have so many pleasures in a life filled with woes, so the sex better be mindblowing.
“I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.”While this stance in today’s ultra-divided political climate may sound uninformed or unaware, it’s a total Samantha line that gets her out of a political conversation she does not want to have and returns the discussion to levity. It’s not that she doesn’t have an opinion or that she isn’t knowledgeable. Rather, she understands the tried-and-true adage of “time and place” and doesn’t care to get wrapped up in such heated discourse when she’s trying to have a good time.
Ladies and Gentlemen, ¡ Samantha Jones ! ❤️🔥
Felicidades Kim Cattrall 💘#HAPPYBIRTHDAY #SamanthaJones #CarrieBradshow #CharlotteYork #MirandaHobbes #SexAndTheCity#AndJustLikeThat pic.twitter.com/Bj2v3JrJII— Montse (@MonMurcia) August 21, 2023
“Oh, please! There’s always a contest with an ex, it’s called who will die miserable.” Exes. We all have ‘em. We may still have a little love for ‘em. We may still hold a little resentment. And at the end of the day, we all want to be the one who comes out on top…first. Who finds new love. Who succeeds. There’s a contest we can’t deny between split partners. There’s a race. The finish line: whoever finds happiness first in the absence of the other. Once again, Samantha says it like it is.
“I am not the type of woman who sits home all day waiting for a man.” Samantha prepares handmade Sushi for her movie star boyfriend, Smith Jerrod (Jason Lewis), and lays it all across her naked body to surprise him when he comes home. The problem: he shows up three hours late, she’s eaten some sushi, she’s put on clothes, and she’s pissed. She says this line — both admonishing Jason and reminding herself of the woman she is. She is not a housewife who prepares food while hubby slaves at the office…and she never will be. No man will ever turn her into a woman she does not yearn to be.
Villains exist on a spectrum, from the sympathetic to sinister. As audiences look at movies and tv shows in hindsight, they are now realizing that on-screen villains tend to be the ones that give life-changing advice regarding love, relationships, and human nature that is actually insightful and eerily accurate. Here are four movie and tv villains who actually made good points we can learn from, even if some of their actions were deplorable.
Amy Dunne from Gone Girl20th Century FoxAmy Dunne is a psychopathic character and her actions should never be emulated in real life, but that doesn’t mean her words and insights can’t be appreciated, albeit with a grain of salt. She had some chillingly on-point monologues about how women are treated in relationships that resonated strongly with a female audience. At one point, she says, “Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That’s murder.” Woah! Talk about poetically delineating how draining relationships can be when you’re doing most of the domestic and emotional (and in this case, financial) labor, causing women to realize how they will lose their identities if they’re with a partner who only takes and takes from them. In her legendary “Cool Girl” monologue, Amy also talks about how women are conditioned to morph themselves into whoever their man prefers, rather than being their authentic selves, thereby lowering her own standards and expectations to please him and silencing themselves. As she notes, “Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. ‘Cool girl.’ Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment: ‘She’s a cool girl.’ Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for f**king. She likes what he likes, so evidently, he’s a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, she’s a mall babe who talks for football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters.” For Amy, being the “cool girl” bore no rewards and the shapeshifting she had to do in her relationship with Nick only led to betrayal and more disrespect. Point made.
Dexter Morgan from DexterShowtimeSome would argue that Dexter may be more of a vigilante antihero rather than an outright villain, but regardless of how you categorize him, he certainly made some very good points throughout the show. The reason why Dexter is such a morally grey character is that he punishes perpetrators who would remain punished otherwise, acting as the karma for people the legal and justice system may let escape. This is most powerfully illustrated in an episode where he hunts down a predator who develops a fixation on his young stepchildren. By doing so, he saves countless future victims of their crimes from harm. His philosophical insights from an outsider’s perspective also gives us keen insights into the human condition and how we all play roles to fit into society. He manages our expectations, telling us, “Never underestimate the capacity of other people to let you down.” He comments on how people put on charming facades to fit into polite society, drawing a distinction between social obligations and authenticity when he states, “Anybody can be charming if they don’t mind faking it, saying all of the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don’t have a conscience, I say them.” Finally, he’s always letting us know that being morally grey doesn’t mean we don’t have integrity and that we must keep to what we think is right so we don’t go off the deep end, asserting, “We all make rules for ourselves. It’s these rules that help define who we are. So, when we break those rules, we risk losing ourselves and becoming something unknown.”
Cruella de Vil from 101 DalmatiansBuena VistaIn the 1996 live action remake of 101 Dalmatians, Cruella de Vil is painted as an obvious villain who cruelly exploits animals to satisfy her passion for fur. And to be sure, her behavior is horrific and absolutely unacceptable in that regard. But audiences have long been noticing that the malicious Cruella is used as the voice to communicate important and accurate insights about marriage. When a talented designer working for her company, Anita, announces she may leave the job if she found a man to marry, Cruella astutely observes, “More good women have been lost to marriage than to war, famine, disease, and disaster. You have talent, darling. Don’t squander it.” When Anita announces she is pregnant with Roger’s child, Cruella is visibly anguished. This is meant to show that Cruella is an enemy of the nuclear family and sinister in her motives, but really, considering all the burdens and health risks women take on during childbirth and childrearing, it’s not necessarily a “wrong” response to have. Given the extensive research on how marriage can place women at a disadvantage on average due to the burden of emotional and domestic labor they’re often forced to take on, she’s also not entirely incorrect. And considering Anita does end up married and having children with Roger right away and gives up her career as a designer while fulfilling his dream, it does seem her predictions came true to an extent as well. It is interesting that a female villain is the one who is used to communicate these “taboo” opinions, almost as if the movie was conditioning audiences to associate such advice with villainy and the destruction of the nuclear family, rather than viewing it as a reasonable perspective.
Arya Stark from Game of ThronesHBOMost fans of Game of Thrones wouldn’t see Arya Stark as an outright villain, but some do find her sadism and pursuit of violent and vengeful justice to avenge her family members a bit disturbing. That being said, Arya’s transformation from badass sword and bow-and-arrow wielding child to skilled and trained assassin is a sight to behold, and her resilience teaches audiences how to hold on to who you are even in the darkest of times and use your skills resourcefully to change the world for the better (in her case, spoiler alert: defeating the worst threat to Westeros and conquering the everlasting darkness for good). She also stays true to herself when Gendry proposes to her, saying, “I am not a lady. That’s not me,” something she declared to her father even as a child, and sets out to sail around the world instead, emphasizing the importance of knowing one’s true self and pursuing one’s genuine desires rather than complying to traditional societal expectations. Her journey of overcoming complex trauma also gave us many unique insights into how honoring and channeling our anger can be a necessary part of the journey to healing, although the way we do it in real-life contexts are sure to be more constructive rather than destructive as portrayed on the show.
Our picks for best horror books adapted into movies (ranked). Get reading!It’s an age-old debate. What’s better: the book or the movie? Though the source material often comes out on top — as not every work of fiction seamlessly transfers to the screen — some on-screen adaptations rival their page-turners.
Some films tinker with the source material so much that different characterizations and thematic undertones surface. Other adaptations use the camera as a mere translational device — taking the story virtually scene-by-scene in a daring attempt to transfer the book’s precise message directly to the screen.
When it comes to the horror genre, both approaches have been explored to great effect – as well as interpretations that walk the tightrope, paying homage to the book while creating something unique. Below are the top ten horror book-to-movie adaptations ranked from least impressive (though still utterly top-tier) to most groundbreaking.
- Carrie (1976)‘Carrie’ Book/Movie Cover1976’s Carrie, from a screenplay written by Lawrence D. Cohen (who also contributed to the teleplay for 1990’s It), is based on the Stephen King novel of the same name. The film masters Hitchcockian suspense — even opening with an homage to Psycho’s shower scene — and culminates in an infamous firey blood bath at prom.
Horror aside, Carrie is a poignant exploration of isolation and abuse, as viewers can’t help but empathize with an adolescent girl whose torment and angst surge in the absence of a safe haven. Carrie’s mother is a bible-thumping abuser who punishes her daughter seemingly for existing. She clings to religion, yet is reminiscent of a witch; in this instance, religion becomes the devil pitted against a secular coming-of-age. And when Carrie exits her home, there is no reprieve awaiting her. She walks the halls of a school where she is a punching bag for every bully.
The film arguably goes a bit further in humanizing Carrie than King’s novel does, and in doing so, balances the character’s murderous rage with her status as a victim pushed to the brink. The audience justifies, excuses, rationalizes, and even understands the protagonist (antagonist?), making Carrie a fright fest that delves deep into the darkest crevices of the human psyche to ask, “What are we willing to forgive in the face of trauma?” With masterfully erratic camerawork that soars and plunges, as well as an effortless Sissy Spacek as the tortured-turn-torturer, Carrie remains one of the most celebrated Stephen King adaptations of all time.
The movie, timeless in the themes explored, was remade in 2013 with Chloë Grace Moretz in the tile role. However, failing to imbue the tale with an original spark, the film was deemed a mostly derivate and unnecessary remake aimed at making a quick buck.
- Rosemary’s Baby (1968)‘Rosemary’s Baby’ Book / Movie CoverRoman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby is notably one of the most faithful book-to-screen adaptations, as several verbal exchanges are pulled directly from Ira Levin’s novel. The narratives are virtually parallel from start to finish, as such was vital to Polanski when creating the film.
Premiering in 1967 — at the height of second-wave feminism and before birth control pills were widely accessible — the film is a feminist horror tale, revealing the depths of inequality (and consequentially gender-based violence) inherent to a patriarchal society.
The Satanists who live next door are not the film’s most terrifying players. Look at the doctors who force Rosemary into decisions she is not comfortable making. Look at her husband who commits the film’s most unforgivable act. The true villain is a society that relegates women to second tier — and those who contribute to and benefit from its ugliness. Rosemary is “Mrs. Woodhouse” at all times. She is the mother of Satan’s spawn. She is always and forever more “someone to someone else.”
Unfortunately, Rosemary’s Baby remains quite relevant in modern times. As poignantly stated by Slant Magazine, “So long as there are men in power who are still fuzzy on the definition of rape, Rosemary’s Baby will endure as a cautionary tale.”
- The Candyman (1992)‘The Candyman’ Book/Movie CoverThe Candyman is adapted from the 1985 short story The Forbidden from Books of Blood written by Clive Barker (Hellraiser, Night Breed). The story follows Helen after finding out about a knife-wielding figure of urban legend, The Candyman – who neighborhood locals believe to be responsible for a recent murder.
Riddled with narrative ambiguities that are never fully resolved and fantastical elements that sustain a haunting atmosphere, The Candyman is a masterclass in horror open to interpretation. Its messages shift and grow with time, yet remain ever-relevant as the film examines class, gentrification, and race.
Director Bernard Rose plays with audience expectation, waiting to reveal the titular villain until the film’s final frames. And when a 6’5” Tony Todd hits the screen, his physically commanding presence (possessing a bee-infested torso and a hook for a hand) coupled with a deep and raspy voice is equal parts intoxicating and unsettling. Candyman is a shiver-inducing chill that offers up both cerebral scares and gory thrills.
The 2021 remake extends its predecessor’s lore, taking the former film’s outward gaze and directing it inward. The innocent becomes the perpetrator. The film still contemplates race and gentrification but reworks the story to distinctly paint Candyman as both a murderer and a protector. For, lest we forget Candyman’s legend was first spun to help Cabrini Green’s Black populace cope with police brutality and white gentrification.
- The Silence of the Lambs (2001)‘The Silence of the Lambs’ Book MovieIn The Silence of the Lambs, Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster give two of the most critically-acclaimed performances in horror movie history as Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling, respectively.
Hopkins upholds an unnerving disposition as Lecter, bringing a steady, authoritative speech pattern and an analytical, sharp-eyed gaze to the role, which earned the actor the 1992 Oscar. He’s somehow charming — boasting a calculated breed of seduction —despite his unpalatable proclivities. Foster also took home the golden statuette for her convincing performance as a proud and determined, yet vulnerable and self-aware agent, ceaselessly retaining composure in the face of danger and overt sexism.
The film (and its stars) can thank author Thomas Harris for the pointed characterizations and sharp tension-building skills inherent to his novel, which transferred seamlessly to the screen. The book and movie laid the groundwork for many future films that fall under the detective v. serial killer subgenre of psychological thrillers. Think Seven, Prisoners, Zodiac, The Bone Collector, Copycat, American Psycho…The list is neverending.
Hannibal Lecter’s journey also continued after The Silence of the Lambs via Hannibal (2001), The Red Dragon (2002), and Hannibal Rising (2007). A TV show starring Mads Mikkelsen as the cannibalistic serial killer also premiered in 2013.
- Dracula (1931)‘Dracula’ Book/Movie CoverThough Dracula is not the first vampire story ever written, as that credit belongs to John Polidori for his 1819 novel The Vampire, The Count is unquestionably the most notorious of the bunch. The blood-sucker with pale white skin and slick black hair gave rise to many infamous garlic-fearing night lurkers of the silver screen.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula has seen countless interpretations. There have been lighthearted approaches like the animated Hotel Transylvania and gothic comedy Dracula: Dead and Loving It, as well as contemporary action-packed forays like 2014’s Dracula Untold, which set out to tell an origin story preceding Stoker’s narrative. Despite the many Dracula depictions out there, the Bela Lugosi-starring 1931 film remains one of the most celebrated, notably pulling from both the stage play and Broker’s novel.
The film, all these years later, remains a prime example of atmospheric triumph, retaining an eerie and creepy feel via gothic set design and gloomy shadows. And, of course, The Count’s cape is one of the film’s most memorable shadows — and arguably the most visually iconic aspect of Dracula himself.
Lugosi’s strong and odd gestures, his deep and distinguished Hungarian-accented voice (often parodied in pop culture) and undeniable sex appeal has undoubtedly shaped the rise of the “sexy but sinister” vampire seen in films like The Lost Boys, Interview with the Vampire, and Fright Night. Without the 1931 film, it’s nearly impossible to imagine what a single vampire-based movie would look like today.
- Frankenstein (1931)‘Frankenstein’ Book/Movie CoverMary Shelley’s Frankenstein is the quintessential monster tale spotlighting the great consequences of unbridled human ambition. What happens when you tinker with the natural way? What happens when you play god? What will come of a man who alienates himself in the pursuit of knowledge? Who is the real monster — the one who seeks revenge or the one who deserves it? The story contains most (if not all) of the prevalent themes seen in contemporary creature features.
1931’s Frankenstein tinkers with the source material slightly to render a more cinematic experience but stays true to the film’s underlying themes. However, there is one major difference worth mentioning, for it alters the story’s takeaways.
In the novel, the creature becomes fully sentient and articulate, able to contemplate his own existence. He seeks to harm Dr. Frankenstein for what he has done, and it is abundantly clear via the novel’s dialogue. In the movie, he is more of a bumbling brute who moans and destroys with little to no explanation.
In the case of the novel, the monster is a victim-turned-aggressor and readers can empathize while still condemning his violence. Such an interpretation makes for a more gray story with two semi-antagonists / semi-protagonists existing in the morally ambiguous. The movie’s choice plainly illustrates the Doctor as the wrongful one by leaving no room to see the creature as anything more than a mistake of man. The movie argues that if the creature is so limited, he cannot be held accountable, directing all judgment directly to the doctor. Victor also dies in the novel, receiving the ultimate punishment, but in many later cinematic interpretations, he is spared — likely to preserve a “happy ending.”
From the 1931 movie to the 1994 movie, Frankenstein’s themes are timeless. So long as creators find a way to contemporize the story while staying true to Shelley’s work, the reinterpretations will likely continue – even if in more subtle ways via films that change the story but retain the themes. Think RoboCop, Edward Scissorhands, The Fly, Moon, and The Skin I Live In.
- Jaws (1975)‘Jaws’ Book/Movie CoverMan vs. nature. Man vs. greed. Jaws presents the dangers of capitalism pushed to the brink. How many lives are you willing to sacrifice to keep your profitable beach town running, as a monstrous shark devours life after life?
The basic narrative structure and thematic elements seen in Peter Benchley’s 1974 novel remain in Steven Spielberg’s cinematic masterpiece. The movie has been hailed as one of the greatest book-to-screen adaptions ever rendered. However, similar to some Frankenstein films, the movie also decides to save one of its main characters — Hooper, who dies in the book.
In the instance of Jaws, despite all the deaths that happen prior, man emerges minimally “triumphant” over nature, as one shark hunter is left standing. Obviously, nature’s tally remains far greater, but it’s still a consequential difference. However, this call was not exactly narratively driven. The crew on Jaws happened to get strong footage of a real shark who got attached to the boat that was connected to the film’s shark cage. Behind the camera, it looked like the shark was attacking an empty cage, as opposed to attempting an escape. They used the footage, as it made for a great scene, but because the cage was empty, Hooper had to escape, evading death.
The movie focused on man vs. nature a bit more than man vs. greed, as the novel also makes the mayor part of the mob. In the book, the Mayor wants money for his own selfish desires, not for the benefit of the whole town. However, both themes are evident in each work. Leave it to Spielberg to create a film that’s grisly, terrifying, character-driven, and ceaselessly suspenseful — all while existing as an allegory for the failed institutions of man.
- The Exorcist (1973)‘The Exorcist’ Book/Movie CoverWilliam Peter Blatty’s The Exorcist hit bookshelves in 1971, only two years before the movie hit the silver screen, and audience members walked out in sheer terror. It was so unsettling. So gruesome. So satanic. A then-less desensitized audience couldn’t bear witness to Regan MacNeil’s demonic possession and subsequent acts of heinousness.
With remarkable special effects for the 1970s, the movie manifested the novel’s supernatural elements with an eerie, even somewhat magical, finesse. The adaptation makes subtle adjustments to the narrative — honing in on certain characters while diminishing others — to reign in the novel’s subplots that exist outside the main story. The film balances faithfulness with minor (but necessary) divergences. The Exorcist is of the most frightening films ever made, as Linda Blair brings Ragan MacNeil to life, delivering one of the finest innocent-turned-possessed-predator performances to date.
If it’s true that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, then The Exorcist retains its status as the horror movie to beat. How many times has the line “The power of Christ compels you” been parodied? How many movies feature a priest attempting to exorcise an evil spirit? How many horror films feature a family clinging to religion to escape the grasp of the devil?
From multiple sequels existing in The Exorcist franchise to rip-offs like The Manitou, Beyond the Door, and Seytan, The Exorcist laid the groundwork for the demonic possession subgenre of film. Would The Omen or The Nun exist without it? What about Insidious or The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Its influence is far-reaching and continuous, bearing weight on horror films every spooky season.
- The Shining (1980)‘The Shining’ Book/Movie CoverStanley Kubrick’s The Shining is regarded as one of the finest works in the horror genre. However, it notably received pushback from author Stephen King, for Kubrick took the story’s foundation but implemented several fundamental changes.
As noted in Far Out Magazine, King’s work supports “biblical demarcations of good and evil,” and King felt that Jack Torrance was inherently a good man who succumbed to evil forces that bent him toward the wicked. On the other hand, Kubrick’s depiction is less biblically conventional and turns Torrance into a psychopath whose descent into madness is a reflection of humanity alone.
Ideas of heaven and hell and god vs. satan are virtually amiss in the on-screen adaptation. The book relies much more on supernatural elements — as is customary of Stephen King — while the film takes a more tangible, grounded approach.
King praised Kubrick for his ingenious, but argued, “What’s wrong with [Stanley Kubrick’s] The Shining, basically…the movie has no heart; there’s no centre to the picture. I wrote the book as a tragedy, and if it was a tragedy, it was because all the people loved each other. Here, it seems there’s no tragedy because there’s nothing to be lost.”
Despite King’s comments, the movie is regaled as a masterclass in horror — a terrifying descent into madness that spotlights a spine-chilling Nicholson in a narrative maze that keeps viewers guessing.
- Psycho (1960)‘Psycho’ Book/Movie CoverAlfred Hitchcock’s Psycho is based on Robert Bloch’s novel of the same name published in 1959. The author also penned American Gothic, Yours Truly, Jack the Ripper, Stange Eons, and more, yet Psycho remains his most prolific work. Though the novel provides a deeper journey into Norman Bates’ mind than the film does, this works toward the movie’s advantage, adding a layer of mystery and intrigue to the infamous slasher. Viewers discover just enough about Bates’ broken mind to draw their own frightful conclusions.
Hitchcock’s artful camera techniques in Psycho have shaped the horror genre across decades. He employs the camera to conceal the truth, to fabricate Norman’s mother, to align the audience with the victim’s perspective. And who could forget the screeching sound that accompanies “the scene” — the shower slashing that will be discussed in cinematic history books for decades to come? The score alone operates as a character in Psycho, using high-pitched keys to provide an auditory stimulus just as frightening (if not more so) than the visual one.
Psycho is an esteemed example of style and substance working in perfect harmony. Hitchcock creates a terrifying yet tactful horror film that draws viewers in. At first, you observe like a suspicious fly on the wall, before wishing to jump into the screen to change the inevitable course of events. Anthony Perkins delivers an unnerving turn as Norman Bates — a charmer who somehow breeds both trust and trepidation — as the narrative unfolds piece by piece, in gripping Hitchcockian fashion. There is a reason he was and forever will be The Master of Suspense.
More Horror Movies Based On Books- Gerald’s Game (2017) There’s a reason we call Stephen King The King of Horror. King’s Gerald’s Game is a largely underrated but intimate suspense tale that follows a woman (Carla Gugino) left handcuffed to her bed after her husband dies during sex. She must fight to survive and break free. * The Amityville Horror (1979) Based on Jay Anson’s 1977 novel of the same name, this reportedly true story follows the Lutz family whose home falls under attack by evil spirits. * Cujo (1983) Man’s best friend turns into his worst enemy after he’s bitten by a bat and morphs into a beast on a rampage in this thriller based on the Stephen King novel of the same name. * Hellraiser (1987) A suspicious box opens a portal to hell and releases “the cenobites — beings brainwashed into torturing humans — in this film franchise based on Clive Barker’s The Hellbound Heart. * Misery (1990) Yet another Stephen King adaptation, this movie stars Kathy Bates as a woman who takes her favorite author hostage and forces him to write the character ending she desires for her beloved protagonist. * Interview with a Vampire (1994) Based on Anne Rice’s novel of the same name, this horror movie, gloriously laden with homoerotic undertones, stars Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise as vampires on an epic journey of immortality. * The Ring (2002) Based on Koji Suzuki’s Ring novels, the 2002 film stars Naomi Watts as an investigative journalist trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious videotape that leads to death one week after its viewing. * It (2017) Pennywise the clown is a demon who terrorizes, torments, and eats children in this 2017 adaptation of the Stephen King novel. The 1990 miniseries starring Tim Curry follows the same narrative. * Gerald’s Game (2017) There’s a reason we call Stephen King The King of Horror. King’s Gerald’s Game is a largely underrated but intimate suspense tale that follows a woman (Carla Gugino) left handcuffed to her bed after her husband dies during sex. She must fight to survive and break free.
Scenario 1: You meet a guy, there’s mutual interest, he’s pursuing you, and everything feels great. Just as you start to let your guard down and let him in, he seems to step back and stop pursuing you.
Scenario 2: You meet a guy and feel mildly intrigued. He’s super into you and goes all out to pursue you. You decide to give him a chance and start to really like him, but now he doesn’t seem as into it and isn’t chasing you like before. Now, you feel like a complete fool. What happened?
The Good News: It’s possible that nothing is wrong and you’re creating this drama in your head. There are reasons why a guy might stop chasing after you, and it’s not always because he’s losing interest.
Real Reasons Why He Stopped Chasing:1. He Caught You: The most obvious reason is that he caught you! You’re hooked, invested, and in it. Guys don’t chase things they don’t think they have to chase. The chase isn’t sustainable, and a real relationship can’t be built on one person constantly pursuing the other. The initial pursuit is exciting but it’s just a means to an end, not a destination.He might feel more comfortable with you now and is settling into a more normal, sustainable routine. This is good news as it means you’re moving to the next phase in the relationship where things become more real. However, avoid going all in too quickly, especially if you haven’t established what you are yet. 2. You’re Too Invested: Initially, he was more invested, but now you’re the one who’s all in. Nothing will make a guy pump the brakes faster than feeling pressured by your investment. It seems unfair because he was pursuing you so much at the beginning, but if you go all in, it can make him feel pressured.In the beginning, his behavior is more about getting you to like him rather than a reflection of his true feelings. If you assume he’s serious about you just because of his initial pursuit, he’ll think, “Woah, I like her but I’m not ready to be so serious right now!” This can cause him to pull away, making you chase the relationship.Guys need the freedom to choose you. When your level of commitment far surpasses his, his choice is gone, and usually, his interest goes with it. 3. He’s Losing Interest: It’s possible that after getting to know you, he realized it’s not a match. It feels like the rug was pulled out from under you, but it’s not necessarily something you did.When a guy really likes you, it takes a lot to turn him off. He probably just realized you weren’t for him, and this has nothing to do with your worthiness. 4. You Aren’t Connecting with Him: Obsessing over him and worrying about the relationship isn’t the same as connecting with him. When you’re overly concerned about losing him, you focus on signs, good or bad, which block you from forming a meaningful connection.Instead of seeing him as a person, he becomes a means to validate your existence. It’s crucial not to engage with thoughts that don’t serve you well or take you where you want to go. 5. You Are Treating Him Like the Prize: Initially, you were the prize he was trying to win over. Once you start doubting his feelings and fearing losing him, he becomes the prize. This shifts the dynamic and can throw everything off balance.Both partners should feel like they won the lottery. If you lack self-worth, you might sabotage good things when they come into your life.
Advice on Having a Guy Chase You (or Chase You Again): Don’t Make Him the Center of Your Attention: It’s fine to be interested, but avoid crossing the line into obsession, which sends out a needy vibe. * Keep Busy: Stay engaged with meaningful activities that bring you joy and make you feel connected to yourself. This helps reduce the chance of obsessing over him. * Keep Your Mind Under Control:* Don’t engage with obsessive thoughts or fears of losing him. It’s not easy, but guys can sense when you’re overly accommodating. The more you obsess over him, the more likely you’ll repel him.
Understanding these dynamics can help you navigate relationships more effectively and maintain a healthy balance.
If you had to pick one streaming service, which should you choose?
Everyone’s streaming their favorite shows and movies right now. Movie theater ticket prices have gone up dramatically and it seems like since the pandemic, more and more people are watching movies from the comfort of their couches. The only problem is, what streaming service should you choose? If you have more than one, it can be challenging to decide where to find the best movies and sometimes it takes longer to find a film than it does to watch the movie. There must be one streaming service superior to the rest, so which is it?
Of course, there are pros and cons to every streaming service, and there are so many to choose from. Netflix is a household name that is stepping up to the plate with a lot of original content lately. They have some of the best original movies streaming right now, including Society Of The Snow, Good Grief, and The Irishman. Netflix is also a valuable streaming service for a ton of foreign films and TV shows. One of the interesting features that Netflix has that others don’t are interactive games and movies/shows on the platform. Choose Love is an interactive movie that allows you to choose what decisions Cami Conway makes in her dating life. They also have Queens Gambit Chess, Stranger Things: Puzzle Tales, and Too Hot To Handle: Love Is A Game. These types of shows and games help them stand out amongst all the other streaming services you can subscribe to. At the low end, Netflix is $7 a month and their highest package is $23, so as far as affordability goes, Netflix is one of the better options. The downside to Netflix is that the library is outdated and sometimes your selections will change based off of the location.
Hulu has been gaining traction and popularity and offers a very extensive Live TV package that covers sports, movies, and television that some other streaming platforms don’t have. Hulu charges $77 or $90 a month for their streaming services plus Live TV, so it’s a bit more pricey but it acts like if you were to purchase a cable TV package. They have also been turning it up a notch on their original content, like The Bear, The Handmaid’s Tale, Palm Springs, and Prey. The only downside I can see with Hulu is its lack of children and family content, as most of their movies and television shows focus on drama, thriller, or comedy. The base cost of the most basic package through Hulu is $8.
Disney+ is also worth mentioning, which is boasting the streaming of Inside Out 2, Haunted Mansion, and Moana 2. Disney+ seems like it only streams children and family content, but if you look at it through the scope of nostalgia, more adults may be willing to dive head first into Disney+. This is a huge hub for all of the Star Wars movies and spinoffs that you can think of, plus an extensive Marvel library. As well, Disney+ has also integrated Hulu into it’s platform, so it’s like a two-fer. Their basic plan is $10 a month for all of the Disney+ library as well as Hulu and supported ads. There are updates available like an ad-free experience and adding ESPN to your package.
After looking at all of these, there is still Max, formerly known as HBO Max. If you insist on having only one streaming service (and if you do, how do you have the self-control?), then the one for you is Max. Max has the biggest variety of films on its platform and most often will have the newest movies available to stream earlier than other apps. The platform features many different hubs for movies, including A24, TCM, and Oscar-winning films. A24 features some great films like Midsommar, The Witch, Dicks: The Musical, and Dream Scenario. TCM showcases some timeless films like Casablanca, The Wizard of Oz, and Fargo. On the Oscar-winning list we have Barbie, Parasite, and Joker to enjoy any time we want.
Max is also known to have categories that spotlight different things, and right now Max is spotlighting Asian American Pacific Islander, Black, and LGBTQ+ voices. Among these categories, we see titles like Minari, The Color Purple (2023), and We’re Here. There aren’t just movies for adults though, there are also a plethora of kids’ movies and collections. These include Cartoon Network, DC, and the Wizarding World where your kids can watch all Harry Potter movies in all their glory along with Wonka, Spy Kids, and Spirited Away. When looking for diversity in the movies, Max is a clear winner. Compared to other streaming services, Max is also relatively reasonably priced. They offer three different plans for as little as $9.99 and as high as $19.99 a month.
There are so many great movies to choose from that it might make you want to download every streaming service that exists, but that can get costly. So, if you’re looking to choose one to get the most bang for your buck, Max delivers in every category you may need.
It’s been a quarter of a century since The Blair Witch Project frightened audiences, and here’s what it teaches viewers about life.
The year is 1999, and fans lose it over a found-footage horror film where three student filmmakers head into the dark and mysterious Black Hills to create a documentary about a myth in the area. Needless to say, The Blair Witch Project inspired an entire new subgenre of horror, as it had everyone wondering if it was a true story or not (it wasn’t), and kickstarted a whole new franchise exploring the legend of the Blair Witch.
Looking back on the movie 25 years later, no one can dispute its influence and how it freshened up the spooks on screen. It proved how it’s possible to create a scary story on a shoestring budget and script trumps expensive special effects every single time. Also, it demonstrated a handful of examples of what people should NOT do if they decide to go into the forest to search for witches.
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Don’t go camping – everAh, the great outdoors. Humans and nature joined as one, with only the stars above and ground below. Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? No, it sucks, actually. Apart from how freaking cold the night truly is and the bugs creeping into crevices no one even thought they had, The Blair Witch Project demonstrates how no one can hear you scream in the forest. Oh, there are invisible children laughing in the distance or the tent starts to violently shake? Too bad, too sad – cry yourself to sleep, maggot! Every person who wants to get in touch with nature soon realizes that there’s nothing quite like the warmth and comfort of one’s own bed, running water, and a lock on the door.
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Don’t run toward danger – run from itBefore venturing into Black Hills, Heather, Mike, and Josh speak to several Maryland residents to find out more about the legend. Heck, they’re even warned of the infamous Rustin Parr who kidnapped kids in the 1940s. At the same time, they learn about the slaughters, missing kids, and a woman whose feet don’t touch the ground. So, what do they do after they receive all this vital information? They head in the exact direction of where the potential danger lies to become isolated from the world and tempt fate to come and get them. Yes, they’re trying to create a documentary and that takes risk and courage, but why can’t they be like other student filmmakers and film the moving clouds for a few hours instead?
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Don’t leave home without tissuesEven though Heather meets her doom in The Blair Witch Project, one of the lasting images of her is the blubbering sequence where she films an apology and her snot and tears splatter everywhere. Arguably, it’s the most memorable scene from the film as it’s even parodied in Scary Movie. There’s a lesson to be learned here, though: Don’t be like Heather; carry tissues wherever you go. Whether it’s in the middle of the forest as the supernatural lurks or in a movie theater before the credits begin, a nose knows no routine, deciding to turn on the faucet and leak at the most awkward of times. Imagine how embarrassing it must be to die covered in crusty or slimy boogers.
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Don’t be a hero when something weird happensFrom the moment Heather, Mike, and Josh enter Black Hills, they become the living embodiment of the “This is Fine” meme. Weird occurrences happen from the get-go, as they see strange things and even get piles of rocks stacked outside of their tent. It’s as if something is trying to spook them intentionally, right? Instead of hightailing it as soon as it becomes eerie, they stick around and apply a let’s-wait-and-see mentality. Well, they certainly see it in the end. Also, why in the world would anyone run into an abandoned house that boasts freaky symbols and bloody marks? If that’s not all, they journey further into the deep, dark basement where absolutely no good can await them. Have these people not watched a horror movie in their lives at all?
5. Don’t trust your friendsIn times of high stress and anxiety, people react in different ways. Expectedly, it’s not the best time to find out a friend is about as useful as a cheese sandwich in a gunfight. Heather and Josh find this out the hard way in The Blair Witch Project, as Mike proves to be more dangerous to their chances of survival than any supernatural entity. This clown becomes frustrated and KICKS THEIR MAP into the creek, forcing them to rely on a compass for direction (who even knows how to use a compass except for Bear Grylls?!). The worst part? He does this after they have already experienced weirdness in Black Hills. It’s yet another example of why people should be extra cautious of trusting their companions in dire situations. After all, there are people in this world who will feed you pineapple or banana on pizza and not think anything of it.
Spoilers ahead for the over-a-century-old disaster and subsequent decades-old movie.
AriesKathy Bates in ‘Titanic’You’re Molly Brown (Kathy Bates).You’re the character based on the real-life “Unsinkable” Molly Brown. She was a philanthropist, a suffragette, and an all-around badass in real life. And Kathy Bates’ no-nonsense portrayal in the movie is perfect Aries energy.
TaurusBernard Brown in ‘Titanic’You’re Captain Smith (Bernard Hill).You’re stubborn and kind-hearted enough to go down with the ship. Sure, you might be judging people while you do it — not really in the spirit of the movie or the IRL version of Captain Smith. However, you’re still standing in the control room as the water fills around you.
GeminiBilly Zane in ‘Titanic’You’re Cal Hockley (Billy Zane).Cal Hockley isn’t exactly a villain — at least not in the beginning. He’s just a guy who has the hots for a pretty (and rich) woman. He heads toward Gemini territory when he’d rather become the bad guy once faced with a little bit of rejection. Now grab a random baby and get on that lifeboat.
CancerLeonardo DiCaprio in ‘Titanic’You’re Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio).
Jack’s the quintessential diehard romantic. And die hard, he does. You’re definitely the zodiac sign who would sacrifice themselves rather than let their lady love die. You can be happy with your decision at the bottom of the ocean.
LeoVictor Garber in ‘Titanic’You’re Thomas Andrews (Victor Garber).Imagine being the builder of the world’s largest passenger ship. All the attention that would get you while onboard? Priceless. (Never mind the aftermath.)
VirgoViolinist in ‘Titanic’You’re the first violinist who decides to go down with the ship.You care about doing your job and doing it right. And if that means serenading a ship of doomed souls–and the few who’ll survive–then so be it. You’ll do your job right into the icy depths.
LibraViolinist in ‘Titanic’You’re the last violinist who agreed to stay aboard.Okay, you weren’t really planning on going down with the ship, but everyone else is doing it, so…
ScorpioKate Winslet in ‘Titanic’You’re Rose Dewitt Bukater (Kate Winslet).Rose has a secret relationship with Jack. Then survives the ship sinking only to keep the whole thing—including throwing the Heart of the Ocean—a secret from generations of family to come. How very Scorpio of her!
SagittariusDanny Nucci in ‘Titanic’You’re Fabrizio (Danny Nucci).It’s big Sagittarius energy to agree to go on a spur-of-the-moment trip to America after your friend wins some Titanic tickets in a game of poker. You’re always down for the adventure, even if it has the potential to go south.
CapricornFrances Fisher in ‘Titanic’You’re Ruth Dewitt Bukater (Frances Fisher).You have an idea of what people should do and you’re disappointed in them when they don’t take your advice. Just like Ruth, who had big aspirations for her daughter, your advice isn’t always as right as you think it is. (At least you can rock an interesting hat.)
Aquarius‘Titanic’ doorYou’re the door.Not only will you not hold up anyone if there’s even a sliver of a chance that you’ll capsize, but you’re also fully willing to expound the science behind Jack not fitting on the door to anyone who will listen.
Pisces‘Titanic’ Elderly CoupleYou’re the elderly couple embracing as water rushes under their bed.Yes, both of them. That single, short moment in the movie made some of us cry more than anything else. How very Pisces. And if you must go, you might as well make it as tragic and dramatic as possible.
There’s a trend in queer films. They call it the Bury Your Gays trope. While a movie (or book, or show, because we can never have nice things) might have a gay romance or a coming-out story, it will ultimately end in tragedy. It might be a literal death or just utter world-ending sadness. So many queer stories are tragic that it’s rare to find something with a happy ending, and that’s certainly the case for trans stories.
With the absolute shambles that the trans American experience is in right now, from a Montana trans representative barred from speaking in the house to gender-affirming care ban in Tennessee, and much more, things aren’t feeling very welcoming to say the least. While I can’t solve any of that with a single article, I can at least give you a list of some uplifting trans movies you can stream right now. The following films feature a range of trans experiences. While they don’t always end with the couple staying together, they’ll at least leave you feeling warm and fuzzy as the credits roll.
Different for Girls (1996)First Look InternationalPaul crashes his motorcycle right into Kim–and he swears he knows her from somewhere. When he realizes Kim’s his old friend from school, now a woman, he can’t get her out of his head. Did this age well? Not necessarily. Keep in mind, this came out in 1996 when a lot of the language we use today to describe the trans experience didn’t yet exist. But is it nice to have a classic and often slapstick ’90s romantic comedy with a sweet trans romance? Yes, definitely. Watch Different for Girls on Amazon FreeVee.
Romeos (2011)PRO-FUNLukas, a trans man near the beginning of his journey, tries to figure out how to navigate friendships and romance as the gender he always was inside. How will cis gay man Fabio take it when Lukas reveals that he’s trans? With a name like Romeos, you might worry that it’ll end in tragedy. While this German film certainly has its sad moments, you’ll ultimately feel like, even when things go wrong, life can still have its moments of contentment. Watch Romeos on Vudu.
Boy Meets Girl (2014)Wolfe VideoRicky, a trans woman with a slew of fans from her fashion vlog YouTube channel, falls for a girl for the first time. Francesca is a classic southern belle, but doesn’t mind the attention from Ricky. But what will Ricky’s lifelong best friend, Robby, think of this new relationship? It’s sweet, it’s sappy, and it’s just the kind of rom-com to make you feel like everything will work out just fine. Watch Boy Meets Girl on Prime Video.
Alice Júnior (2019)NetflixYou know all those cute coming of age movies that cis people get? Trans people are finally getting them, too, like with Alice Júnior. It’s time for teen movie trans representation. In this Brazilian film, Alice is just a regular high school student navigating friendships and mean students and her very first kiss. And she just happens to be trans. Watch Alice Júnior on Netflix.
Anything’s Possible (2022)Amazon StudiosFresh from Amazon, Anything’s Possible follows trans teen Kelsa as she has a crush on cute classmate Khal. Does he like her back? And if so, how will he handle all the attention he’d get from dating her? It looks like trans romance is catching up with the rest of the teen film genre, and we’re here for it. Best of all, it’s directed by the wonderful Billy Porter. Watch Anything’s Possible on Prime Video.
When it comes to Disney villains, no one can hold a candle to Ursula. But, what makes the Sea Witch so special? How has she escaped the shackles of villainy to become more of a cultural icon than a basic baddie?
With Melissa McCarthy taking on the iconic Sea Witch in the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, Ursula is once again in the spotlight, receiving her well-deserved flowers. Though Disney has created several villains of notoriety over the years — from Jafar and Gaston to Maleficent and Captain Hook — Ursula reigns supreme. And yes, we are accounting for the ostentatious and conniving Scar (who undoubtedly takes second place).
But what about Ursula makes her so special? How does she remain timeless — relevant with each passing decade — becoming less of a villain and more of a beloved champion with new generations?
Ursula is unapologetically herself Ursula can choose any appearance she desires with a little magic. Make a potion in a cauldron and, boom, she becomes Vanessa — with an hourglass shape, long luscious locks, and seductive eyes. Yet, Ursula chooses to rock eight octopus tentacles and hyper-expressive makeup akin to the late drag queen Divine.
She chooses a full-bodied figure, which she proudly sashays across her evil lair with an air of condescending superiority. It’s delicious. Unlike many Disney villains, who boast angular bone structure and size zero waists (we’re looking at you Maleficent), Ursula’s body, in and of itself, proves that one need not be skinny to be sinister.
One need not be thin to prove power. Frailty (cough cough Scar), should not be synonymous with a conniving mind, as if to be thin is to hunger for domination. Such visual attestations of desires and characteristics had grown stale when Ursula stepped up to the plate, or should we say swam up to the reef? Ursula proves that, while Ariel may have the look and demure of a princess, she has the presence and disposition of a Queen.
Ursula is quite fair in her bargaining She’s not trying to kill to attain power or steal someone else’s greatest love. She’s simply trying to bargain her way to what she desires. She makes a deal with Ariel: her voice for a pair of legs.
She watches Ariel sign a contract, and Ariel knows what she’s getting into. The princess may be young — and a bit fed up with a controlling and domineering father – but she is no fool. So, when Ariel tries to back out of the deal, and Ursula comes for what’s rightfully hers, who’s truly in the wrong?
The scroll in ‘The Little Mermaid’ | DisneyAs far as legality is concerned, Ursula is in the right. As far as evil plots, it’s not very ruthless, nor is it unfair. How many villains approach their scheming from such a righteous (too strong a word?) angle? Yes, she’s trying to get to Triton, but her approach is savvy and somewhat civilized for an evildoer.
She was supposed to share the throne with her brother, King Triton, following their father’s deathAs we know, Ursula was a little nasty (which she fesses up to) in the past, but there’s more to her backstory. Triton (her brother) banished her after some maniacal misbehaving with black magic. Their father wished for the siblings to rule the seas together, but Triton took full control over the kingdom they were meant to share. As Screen Rant notes, she tried to use magic to usurp the throne, so her banishment could be considered well-deserved.
Though Ursula tried to take the throne for herself, Triton responded to her rebellion in like, becoming the sole ruler of the sea. If Triton was a full-fledged Disney hero — a kind and empathetic ruler as the “good guys” are supposed to be — he should have been the bigger person. He should have found a way to punish her while following through on his father’s wishes. Instead, he left his sister to conceive of a scheme to get back what’s (partially) rightfully hers.
You don’t get a better villain anthem than “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from ‘The Little Mermaid’It’s masterful and conniving. It’s poised and playful. It’s got everything you could want in a Disney tune. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” places Ursula in a position of power. It’s the beginning of her scheme, and the sharp-tongued delivery and facetious mannerisms give this song a feisty flair we can’t help but love.
We all have a little bit of darkness in us. A little bit of pettiness. A little desire for revenge. Ursula taps into this crevice of human nature we’re told to sequester, and she celebrates it with vivacious enthusiasm.
How can you not admire a woman unafraid to own — with musical magnificence — the scrumptious human attributes that exasperating do-gooders have oh-so-forcefully forsworn? Being the hero all the time gets old. It’s only a matter of time until the good guy loses to the sneak. Ursula lives in the real world, where gray reins supreme and black-and-white morality is for fairytales.
I think that the tide is turning against influencers. After years of watching influencers act like entitled pricks, the world has begun to see them as they really are – regular, often untalented people with bloated egos and little sense of the greater good. Like, I once saw an influencer ask a couple on their honeymoon to move out of the way at a scenic alpine overlook because he was “late posting that day” and “didn’t want his followers to worry.” The couple had been there for all of ten seconds before he did that. Then, all he did was set up a ring light and take 500 pictures of himself making the same pose (arms held out, staring into the mid-distance). So like, what exactly would his followers have been worried about? That he might not fall off the cliff afterwards?
And on that mordant note, I present to you five movies where the influencer gets their just desserts. Just admit it: You’ve been wanting this deep down.
Influencer (2022)ShudderIn this psychological horror flick, both the titular influencer and the woman who impersonates her are obnoxious. But only one of them is obnoxious in a murdery way. The other one is just obnoxious in an “I’m faking a perfect life online to make others jealous, despite being deeply miserable” sort of way. In any case, you will feel schadenfreude when the titular influencer becomes stranded on a deserted tropical island without essential survival tools like water, food, and battery life. Rich people living like normals – it’s a hoot!
Deadstream (2022)ShudderWritten, directed, and produced by a husband-and-wife team, this critically approved indie supernatural horror comedy is a droll, compact look at a disgraced “Internet personality,” Shawn (read: Logan Paul), who stages a comeback after posting a thoughtless, insensitive racist video and losing all his followers. He does this by filming himself spending the night at the site of a former murder, obviously. Unfortunately, this introduces him to the ghost of a dead Mormon who wants to use Shawn’s follower count to gain a living audience for her bad poetry. (This movie is wild.) Anyway, Shawn apologizes for being a racist idiot too late and never quite stages that comeback. So sad!
Not Okay (2022)Searchlight PicturesThere were a lot of movies about influencers in 2022, I guess! This one, which debuted on Hulu, stars Zoey Deutch in another unlikeable role as Danni Sanders, who fakes a trip to Paris and then accidentally goes viral after her friends think she was in a terrorist attack. She doesn’t correct them, of course, and instead spins the “tragedy” into a career as an influencer. She’d rather be a writer, though, but wouldn’t most influencers? In any case, Danni’s life crumbles around her after everyone realizes how fake and terrible she is. Oopsies!
Mainstream (2020)IFC FilmsThis movie stars Andrew Garfield as an influencer who builds an entire career around mocking and parodying influencers in viral videos. At first, you’re rooting for him. We’re all rooting for him. But then you realize that he’s just as self-centered, inconsequential, thoughtless and even cruel as some of the influencers he makes fun of. On top of that, you also realize he’s a fraud. Essentially, he’s the actual thing that he purportedly hated. On the other hand, he loses the respect and support of his friends, despite becoming wildly successful online. What an understandable turn of events!
Tragedy Girls (2017)Gunpowder & SkyIf you prefer satire and dark comedy with your horror, then Tragedy Girls is your cup of tea. In this movie, the titular girls, Sadie and McKayla, are so desperate for fame that they embark on a killing spree to get attention. There’s queer subtext, laughs, and satire galore. And yet, the serial killing influencers of this movie never truly face the consequences of their actions. The movie ends up skewering the very people who prop up terrible people like Sadie and McKayla in their selfish quest for fame – basically, you and me. In the end, it isn’t just influencers who should be taking a long, hard look at themselves. Well, obviously they already do that in the mirror, but I mean internally.
The internet has been in an uproar ever since The New York Times covered Ballerina Farm, a story about a hugely popular influencer couple, including a Utah homemaker and mother of eight children, Hannah, who recently participated in a beauty pageant for married women shortly after giving birth. The article has since gone viral, and many have pointed out the red flags of how Hannah first met her billionaire husband (whose father owns several airlines) and seemed coerced to give up a potentially thriving career as a Julliard-trained ballerina in New York City to now enduring natural home births without any epidurals or pain relief and being “exhausted” and on bedrest from taking care of her eight children. Hannah says she has no nannies or outside help apart from some farm workers, a personal assistant, and a babysitter for weekly date nights. Here are some red flags the public has noticed from the story that may also help you avoid exploitative situations yourself:
Hannah met her husband when she was 21 and she didn’t want to go on a date with him, so he manufactured a situation that essentially forced her to go on a date with him. According to her husband Daniel, Hannah did not want to go on a date with him after they first met through a mutual friend, and this refusal continued for six months. But Daniel pulled strings at the airline Jetblue (which his father owns) to get them seated next to each other on a flight when Hannah was going back to New York. After that, he wanted to get married within a few months despite her desire to wait a year before marriage so she could finish school. Although the public may not be able to speak to how personally harmful this was to Hannah as only she can speak to that herself, in general, it is a red flag to pursue someone so persistently after being rejected, especially after six months, and can be a sign of potential coercive control. Rushing and fast-forwarding into marriage is also typically a sign of love bombing (where a partner showers you with affection, attention, and constant attention, rushing the relationship to win you over), one that can lead to isolation and making decisions that don’t necessarily serve someone’s best interests but rather cater to the desires of the pursuer. When you are a young woman, you also tend to be quite susceptible to manipulative behaviors that can change your life-course trajectory at a vulnerable stage of life.
Hannah endured the birth of eight children mostly without pain relief. The Times article tells us that the only time Hannah allowed herself pain relief during childbirth was when Daniel was “away,” and she tells the reporter while lowering her voice that she got an “epidural,” which was, as she called it, “an amazing experience.” Given that she has given birth to eight children, this is considerably worrying. While we may not be able to speak specifically on this particular couple since we don’t know for sure how Hannah’s agency has been affected in this relationship regarding pregnancy and childbirth, in general we have to be cautious about signs of reproductive coercion and control as it is a significant problem for women in relationships. If a partner is coercing you to become pregnant at a rate you’re not comfortable with, or trying to get you pregnant early on or in conditions you’re not comfortable with, this can be a potential red flag of coercive behavior down the line. Some partners will deliberately weaponize the exhaustion of pregnancy and childbirth to keep you under their control and compliant to them and their needs. When you’re too exhausted raising and birthing children, you’re also too exhausted to defend yourself and pursue other goals outside of the relationship and childrearing.
Hannah did appear to give up her dream to fulfill Daniel’s. As Hannah says in the original Times article when asked if handling the farm with eight children was her dream, she says no, elaborating, “My goal was New York City. I left home at 17 and I was so excited to get there, I just loved that energy. And I was going to be a ballerina. I was a good ballerina…But I knew that when I started to have kids my life would start to look different.” Her husband, on the other hand, did say this was his dream and that he expected Hannah to be more at home with the kids. To add nuance to this conversation, Hannah does say that being with her children is satisfying and fulfilling, indicating that marriage and children would have been fulfilling for her as part of her dream too. However, it stands to reason that she likely did not expect to give up her dreams as a dancer entirely to fulfill these dreams. This holds an important lesson: never give up your dreams for a romantic partner or rush into marriage before you are ready – a healthy partner will usually cheer you on in fulfilling your dreams, and there will be a sense of reciprocity in the relationship in terms of cheering on each other’s personal goals.
Hannah and her husband often go to more isolated places even when they are on vacation, and her husband’s gifts to her seem to remind her of her role as wife and mother rather than serve as displays of thoughtfulness regarding her true desires. While we cannot know for certain what goes behind closed doors, further social media from the couple have raised suspicions among the public, as Hannah’s husband often convinces her to go to a more isolated location even when they are traveling to places like New York and Hawaii, and Hannah’s birthday gift consisted of a “egg apron” rather than a trip to Greece (which she wanted) despite having the financial means to give her this dream vacation. When Hannah looked slightly disappointed at the gift reveal, her husband can be heard behind the camera saying, “You’re welcome,” which some viewers found chilling. Readers of the article and many followers of Ballerina Farm find this suspicious because it seems to isolate Hannah from the outside world even on their travels, and the “egg apron” gift-giving video has since gone very viral as people issue warnings to stay away from partners who give you the wrong gift on purpose even when you have told them what you prefer.
We may never know the full story of Ballerina Farm, or how much autonomy Hannah truly has, or whether she views herself as any kind of victim or a fulfilled mother and wife—or both. The reality is likely a lot more nuanced and complex. However, we can still generally notice the potential red flags of dating and love the public has pointed out—and use this discernment to guide young women into making decisions they deem healthiest and safest for themselves and with recognition to their own agency.
Even on a re-watch, these episodes of The Office never get old.
It’s hard to think of a modern comedy series whose popularity surpasses NBC’s The Office. Originally a pale remake of the United Kingdom’s successful sitcom of the same name, the American Office soon took on a life of its own right around the time of its second season. Focusing on the mundane exploits of a small-time paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania, Greg Daniels’ hit series hilariously captured the atmosphere of an average corporate environment. From its portrayal of workplace romances to its satirical presentation of ineffective branch managers, The Office became more than a mere TV show by the end of the 2000s, capturing mainstream viewers’ attention just as Seinfeld, Friends, and Frasier had in the decades prior.
From the fan-favorite “Threat Level Midnight” to the infamously uncomfortable “Dinner Party,” here are some of The Office’s absolute finest episodes, ranked in order from worst to best.
Fun Run (Season 4, Episodes 1 and 2)It’s a bold move to open your fourth season by having your main character hit his employee with his car. But then again, The Office has always delighted in subverting preconceived expectations. Brilliantly capturing viewers’ attention within its opening two minutes, “Fun Run” made the idea of an office-organized 5K seem somehow fresh and exciting. Balancing plenty of laughs with some satisfying conclusions to long-running storylines (such as Jim and Pam’s long-awaited romantic relationship), “Fun Run” set the entire tone for The Office’s fourth season moving forward.
Threat Level Midnight (Season 7, Episode 17)Regularly hinted at throughout The Office’s first several seasons, Michael’s amateur filmmaking efforts finally came to fruition with season 7’s “Threat Level Midnight.” A tongue-in-cheek nod to over-the-top espionage films like James Bond, “Threat Level Midnight” also doubles as an endearing love letter to The Office’s pre-existing continuity. Weaving in cameos from former cast members like Melora Hardin, David Denman, and Rashida Jones, this laugh-out-loud spy pastiche spelled out the beginning of the end for Michael’s run on The Office, illustrating just how far each character had grown over the course of the series.
Casino Night (Season 2, Episode 22)Just as “Fun Run” helped kick off The Office’s fourth season in a wholly unexpected manner, “Casino Night” helped draw the series’ second season to a close in a fittingly wondrous way. Balancing Michael’s burgeoning love triangle with Jan and Carol with Jim’s attempts to admit his true feelings to Pam, “Casino Night”’s ambiguous final note left fans thoroughly entertained, as well as extremely interested to see what might happen with season three.
Stress Relief (Season 5, Episodes 14 and 15)“Stress Relief” deserves a spot on every list of The Office’s best episodes if only for its anarchic cold open alone. In true Office fashion, “Stress Relief” starts things off with Dwight simulating a fire in Dunder Mifflin’s office building – a controlled disaster scenario that quickly spirals out of control. From Oscar crashing through the ceiling to Kevin feverishly raiding the vending machine, from Michael shrilly cursing to Andy absurdly crying out, “The fire is shooting at us!”, “Stress Relief”’s cold opening is a chaotic thing of beauty in and of itself.
Broke (Season 5, Episode 25)As even the most casual fan of The Office is sure to know, Michel Scott regularly displays a less-than-mature attitude when it comes to his workplace responsibilities. Shirking his managerial duties like a child refusing a time out, many audience members might wonder how such a buffoonish personality could have been promoted to the position of regional manager. With episodes like “Broke,” though, viewers witness Michael’s mental prowess at its absolute peak. Outwitting his former employer David Wallace and masterfully orchestrating his return to Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, “Broke” eloquently underscores the complexity behind Michael’s character (childlike and immature one moment, a slick, multifaceted salesman in the next).
Goodbye, Michael (Season 7, Episode 22)For better or for worse, it’s not an exaggeration to say that Michael Scott was the heart and soul of The Office. Fans might have regularly tuned in to see which pranks Jim played on Dwight, but Michael held such an integral place at the center of the show, it seemed almost inconceivable that we’d ever see him leave. It’s for this reason that “Goodbye, Michael” hits as hard as it does, tugging on the heartstrings of every viewer who’d fallen in love with Michael’s character since The Office’s inaugural season.
Dinner Party (Season 4, Episode 13)The Office may have perfected the use of cringe comedy in a mainstream TV show, but “Dinner Party” remains an entirely different sort of beast altogether. A full 22 minutes of awkward scene after awkward scene, it’s impossible not to watch this classic Office episode without gritting your teeth in discomfort. Transposing viewers from the usual Dunder Mifflin workplace to the unsettling confines of Michael and Jan’s apartment, “Dinner Party” unfolds like a slow-motion car accident that we’re powerless to stop – yet also perversely unable to look away from.
Often when we talk about toxic relationships that women endure, we focus solely on unhealthy men who perpetrate aggressively against women and rightfully so. But we rarely speak about another insidious danger that infiltrates our lives as young women, that normalizes and conditions us into accepting unacceptable behavior in our relationships throughout adolescence and adulthood. Enter the pick-me narcissistic friend who centers men and relationships to the detriment of not only her own wellbeing, but also that of her female friends, frequently throwing other women under the bus for male attention and approval. Her fixation on romantic relationships and men usually hurts other women, especially her closest friends. Here are the traits and behaviors that make the pick-me woman so dangerous and why you should choose your female friends very selectively.
Narcissistic women who center men will encourage you to settle for less just to say you have a relationship and join them in their misery.
Think of pick-me women as a foot-soldiers for the patriarchy and the abusive systems that hold women back from claiming their true power and prioritizing themselves. They are here to sell you the messages of their cult-like societal conditioning which they never bothered to reprogram or interrogate closely, and if they have narcissistic traits, they will also lack empathy for how these messages affect you. The message? Your romantic relationship is the most important thing in this life. Sacrifice your health, wellbeing, standards, boundaries if you ever want to be married. You need to settle for less if you ever want to settle down. Being single and happy on your own before finding a good partner is not acceptable! There is a sense of morally depraved urgency with the pick-me woman’s skewed advice and insight on dating, because she often settles for toxic relationships and lackluster men herself just to say she “has a man.” This message is very different from the one a woman in a healthy relationship with standards tells her friends, which is, “Don’t settle unless you find the right one. It won’t feel good, you will ruin your life, and you will suffer if you settle down with the wrong man. The only worthy relationship is the one that adds value to your life. Take your time. Be single, explore, have fun! I want you to meet the right person, and if not, you will be happy and thrive regardless.”
The pick-me woman who centers men, in contrast, will go out of her way to dismiss the wealth of research and the voices of women that show that on average, marriage and commitment tend to place women at a disadvantage, causing them greater psychological distress than married men (presumably due to the larger burden of emotional and domestic labor they are forced to take on, often for an incompatible partner who neglects or mistreats them). This is especially true for unhealthy, abusive, toxic and incompatible relationships. Dangerous friends like these prefer to uphold the illusion of false superiority surrounding a woman’s relationship or marital status over the actual quality of the relationship, even if it places their friends in harm’s way, so they will encourage you to “not be so picky” or “choosy” about the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with by shaming you for having standards. They may even encourage you to minimize incidents of mistreatment, betrayal, or low effort because “no man is perfect,” and will often sympathize with the perspectives of violent men over the widespread violence that women undergo worldwide.
Their choice of partners will place you in dangerous situations and they “compete” with you for the attention of men, even pursuing your love interests in an attempt to “one-up” you.
The pick-me narcissistic psychopathic woman takes it further than just being protective of her toxic and bare minimum relationships with men: she will actively put her friends, family members, and loved ones in harm’s way to defend any and all toxic men. This is the narcissistic mother who pretends not to see her boyfriend harming or abusing her daughter just so she can maintain the relationship, or the narcissistic friend who will allow their husband to verbally or physically try to attack you without saying anything to defend you. Or their pick-me habits may be so strong they actively go out of their way to try to flirt with your boyfriend, or crush, or ex to gain excessive validation (or because they have dark personality traits associated with mate poaching). They may also attempt to steal your spotlight and resent you when you receive more attention than them from men. They will not be proud of you or your achievements and try to get you to refocus on your relationship status whenever you try to celebrate these achievements because they are uncomfortable with women having other interests, ambitions, and accomplishments outside of men rather than hyper-fixating on men like they do. A friendship with a pick-me woman will often be a dangerous and harmful one, and their conversations will always center men. How boring and unfulfilling! But the way they treat you and shame you in this friendship, coercing you to lower your standards for men, can even lead you into getting into abusive relationships especially if you are vulnerable and susceptible to their manipulative behavior.
Remember: women who have genuinely healthy relationships of their own and a healthy mindset toward dating and men are different as they center their own lives, their friends, family, and goals, and their relationship only adds value to their already stable and nourishing life. They would not put other women in harm’s way just for the sake of their relationship nor would they choose a man over the integrity of their friendships. They celebrate their relationships in healthy ways, do not behave as if a relationship status determines a woman’s worth and they do not advise women to engage in terrible decisions or settle for less just for a relationship status because they care about the mental health and overall happiness of their friends. They know the difference between settling for a toxic relationship just to say you have someone and actually being with your “soulmate” —a high-quality man that is truly compatible with you, who is respectful, kind, and loves and dotes on their friend gently and generously. They help you free yourself from toxic relationships, not stay entrenched in them.
Rather than telling their friends to tolerate mistreatment, these healthy female friends encourage other women to have high standards and strong boundaries. Know the difference and choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with female friends who cheer you on, who celebrate your accomplishments outside of relationships, who remind you not to settle for less, who protect and defend you from toxic men, who encourage you to have high standards, and who only cheerlead your healthiest relationships. This will not only elevate your love life (if you are looking to do that), but your quality of life and happiness in general.
Living with Crohn’s disease presents distinct challenges, not just in maintaining your health but also in your daily life and managing personal relationships, especially when it comes to dating. For those unfamiliar with Crohn’s disease, it is a chronic inflammatory disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract. Crohn’s causes symptoms like abdominal pain, diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition. Managing these symptoms is a daily requisite for those like me living with Crohn’s disease. These symptoms can also be unpredictable and debilitating, adding complexity to the already intricate dating world.
Managing Crohn’s disease requires careful consideration, especially when planning social engagements involving food or physical activities. One of the main aspects you have to manage is dietary restrictions, which can be difficult. For instance, I’ve found it helpful to explain that I can’t eat certain foods due to my condition, and suggest alternative options that I can enjoy. Specific foods can lead to uncomfortable flare-ups. As a result, impromptu dining experiences or experimenting with new cuisines can pose challenges. I have realized the importance of effectively communicating my dietary requirements and organizing outings considering my condition. This may involve selecting restaurants with versatile menus or choosing activities that are less strenuous on the body.
When dating with Crohn’s disease, one of the initial challenges is determining the right time and approach to disclose the condition to a potential partner. This conversation can be scary, as there is often anxiety about the other person’s reaction. There is a constant fear of being judged or rejected based on a health condition that is beyond one’s control. However, honesty is essential. Crohn’s disease can significantly impact mental health, especially in the context of dating. The anxiety surrounding symptoms, fear of flare-ups, and the stress of managing the disease can contribute to feelings of depression and isolation. Having a supportive partner who provides a listening ear and emotional support can be incredibly beneficial. If you do encounter a negative reaction, remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s okay to feel hurt, but try to focus on the fact that you deserve someone who will accept you for who you are, including your health condition.
Being transparent about my condition early in my relationship helped to establish trust. It allowed my partner to grasp the nature of the disease and form realistic expectations for our relationship. Open and honest communication with my partner about my well-being is essential. I also needed to find a patient partner who understood my limitations. This level of communication not only helps in managing my disease but also in building a solid and understanding relationship. There have been occasions when I’ve had to cancel plans due to sudden flare-ups, and an understanding and empathetic partner is vital in these circumstances. Their support and openness to adjustment can significantly contribute to sustaining a healthy relationship.
When planning dates with Crohn’s, a different approach is needed. While spontaneous outings may not always be an option, there are still plenty of ways to have enjoyable and engaging dates. I tend to choose activities that fit my comfort level and dietary restrictions, such as selecting restaurants with menus that accommodate my nutritional needs or organizing outdoor activities with easy access to facilities. I’ve realized the importance of having backup plans in case my symptoms flare up. These involve a cozy movie night at home instead of going out or a leisurely walk in the park instead of a more demanding activity. These adaptations ensure I can still enjoy the dating experience without putting excessive strain on my body, and they also serve as a reminder of the importance of self-care in managing a chronic illness.
Through the challenges, dating with Crohn’s has led to unexpected positives. It has enabled me to cultivate resilience, promote open communication, and better understand my needs and boundaries. Navigating the dating scene with Crohn’s disease is undeniably challenging, yet it also serves as a path to self-discovery and development. By embracing open communication, meticulous planning, and self-care, I’ve discovered that it’s feasible to find fulfillment in meaningful connections and experiences, even when dealing with a chronic illness. This journey has made me stronger and more resilient, and I hope it can inspire others in similar situations.
Living with Crohn’s disease presents a unique set of challenges that can permeate many aspects of life, including relationships and dating. Crohn’s disease, a type of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), affects the digestive tract, leading to symptoms such as abdominal pain, diarrhea, fatigue, and weight loss. These symptoms can be unpredictable and often require careful management through medication, diet, and lifestyle adjustments. For me, the physical and emotional toll of the disease can complicate the experience of navigating the dating scene, leading to feelings of anxiety, self-consciousness, and uncertainty. Dating alone is already a whirl of mess to have to sift through, adding an uncurable diagnosis, well, that really turns things up a notch.
Dating with Crohn’s disease requires a nuanced approach, beginning with open and honest communication. It can be daunting to disclose a chronic illness to a potential partner, especially early in the relationship. However, sharing this part of my life can foster deeper understanding and empathy. Being upfront about my condition has helped set expectations and reduce misunderstandings. Oh, and there have been many understandings. For example, when I am not feeling well or don’t have the energy to get out of bed, let alone go out on a date, it can come across as not being interested, when I am just in too much pain. Disclosing earlier on lets them know that when that happens it doesn’t automatically mean I’m ignoring them or uninterested. It’s important to find the right moment to have this conversation—ideally, when I feel comfortable enough and trust has been established. This transparency not only builds a foundation of trust but also allows my partner to support me better during flare-ups or challenging times.
Maintaining a balanced lifestyle is crucial for managing Crohn’s disease while dating. This includes sticking to a suitable diet, managing stress, and adhering to treatment plans. It’s beneficial for me to plan dates that accommodate my health needs—choosing venues with dietary options that are safe for me or engaging in activities that are not overly strenuous. But I do stray sometimes to make sure a potential partner’s needs are being met as well. It’s a juggling act. It’s also important for me to listen to my body and communicate my needs from my partner. A compassionate partner will understand the importance of flexibility and support. Ultimately, while Crohn’s disease adds an extra layer of complexity to dating, it can also strengthen a relationship by fostering deeper connections and mutual care. I haven’t given up on finding love just because of my diagnosis, but I am very cautious of who I allow into my space because of it.
As your resident rom com-lover, there’s a whole host of movies out there that are good for a watch but that might not exactly be binge-worthy. I’m looking at you, When Harry Met Sally. Then there are the romantic comedies that I can’t help watching over and over and over. No matter my mood, I’m always down to watch these 10 rom coms. Best of all, they’re all streaming for you to watch right now. Have you seen everything on this list?
The DUFF (2015)LionsgateI could say that it’s Mae Whitman’s acting or the interesting “Designated Ugly Fat Friend” plot that makes me love The DUFF so much, but that would be a lie. It has absolutely everything to do with Robbie Amell and the under-used friends-to-lovers boy-next-door romance tropes. The love is so damn convincing in this teen rom-com, and I need more storylines like this one. Watch The DUFF on Paramount+ with the Showtime add-on.
Love Actually (2003)Universal PicturesI once heard someone call Love Actually “unrealistic.” That’s bonkers to me. I’d understand that adjective if this was a fairytale romance like Enchanted, but this ensemble rom com features loves ending just as often as they begin. I mean, Emma Thompson crying while listening to Joni Mitchell? That’s no fairytale, and it’s heartbreakingly realistic. Watch Love Actually on Amazon Video.
The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesThere’s Jude Law putting on his glasses when he can’t find his contacts. There’s Jack Black’s “accidental boob graze.” And of course there’s Eli Wallach stealing the goddamn show as old Hollywood screenwriter Arthur. So are you a Kate Winslet or a Cameron Diaz? I think a dozen watches will let you know for sure which one. (I’m a Kate by a mile.) Watch The Holiday on Netflix.
You’ve Got Mail (1998)Warner Bros.The technology in You’ve Got Mail is so outdated, it’s adorable. Also adorable is the original manic pixie dream girl, Meg Ryan. While the Tom Hanks’ long con in the latter half of the movie is pretty suspect by today’s standards, this is still an annual must-watch for me. I mean, it’s all about optimism and books and pen-pal love. How can you go wrong? Watch You’ve Got Mail on Netflix.
27 Dresses (2008)20th Century FoxThis is probably the most “rom com” movie on this list. It hits all the plot beats of your standard romantic comedy, but it has a few things that tip it into “watch all the time” territory for me. “Bennie and the Jets.” Katherine Heigl’s outfits (not the bridesmaids dresses, though). And, of course, James Marsden. I really need to find my own James Marsden IRL. Anyone want to audition for the role Watch 27 Dresses on Disney+ and Peacock.
Stardust (2007)Paramount PicturesThis is one of those rom coms that seem to appeal to everyone. Despite its status as a fantasy based on a Neil Gaiman novel, it seems to be universally loved. Ask any guy–and I mean any–and they’ll freely admit they love it. And if they haven’t watched it yet, pop it on and watch them fall in love with Claire Danes or Charlie Cox or Robert de Niro as a crossdressing sky pirate. Watch Stardust on Paramount+ with the Showtime add-on.
Plus One (2019)RLJE FilmsHere’s another friends-to-lovers for the list. In this, two friends make a pact to be each others’ plus ones for a season of way too many weddings. It’s the newest movie on this list, mostly because there haven’t been nearly as many rom coms coming out these days, let alone great ones like this. The performances from Jack Quaid and Maya Erskine make this an instant classic. Watch Plus One on Netflix and Hulu.
The Giant Mechanical Man (2012)I’m happy to introduce you to this absolute gem you’ve probably never heard of. The title makes it sound like some futuristic sci-fi movie, but it’s far from it. It’s just about two regular people, each struggling to find themselves, falling in love while working in a zoo. It feels so realistic and cute, and the end is absolutely everything. Watch The Giant Mechanical Man on Prime Video, Peacock, and FreeVee.
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)Buena Vista PicturesFrances finds herself spiraling after a surprising and heartbreaking divorce. When her friend gifts her a tour trip through Italy, she goes just to humor her. Little does she know, she’ll find a rundown Tuscan villa that will change her life completely. While romantic love is an afterthought in this, you’ll watch it again and again for the love she finds for herself. Watch Under the Tuscan Sun on Hulu.
What’s Your Number (2011)20th Century FoxAlly doesn’t want to raise her body count so she enlists the help of her annoying (and annoyingly hot) neighbor to find all the guys she’s already slept with to see if she can rekindle a long-dead spark. There’s something so comforting about the friends-t0-lovers romance arc in this criminally under-watched rom com starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans. Watch What’s Your Number on Hulu and Paramount+.
Have you been remembering The Silence of the Lambs all wrong?
You ask anyone to do an impression of Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs and they’ll do one of these three things: Make the creepy sucking sound he does, talk about eating someone’s liver with “some fava beans and a nice Chianti,” or say “Hello Clarice” in that classic Hannibal drawl. Here’s the thing…one of those three things is a false memory. A classic Hannibal Lecter quote is actually a misquote, an example of the Mandela Effect. Are you guilty of remembering The Silence of the Lambs all wrong?
“Hello, Clarice?”In this common Mandela Effect, fans of The Silence of the Lambs remember Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) visiting Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) for the first time in his glass-walled prison. As she enters, Hannibal is standing in the middle of his cell. He looks into her eyes and says, “Hello Clarice.” Let’s pause for a moment to let your shivers subside.
I hate to break it to you, but that’s not what Hannibal says. At no point in The Silence of the Lambs does Anthony Hopkins ever mutter those words. Instead, in the scene where they first meet, he just says “good morning.” Of course, that hasn’t stopped people from attributing that phrase to him for decades. Here’s a clip for proof:
“Good morning.” The Silence of the LambsSo why do so many people think Hannibal said “Hello, Clarice?”
It’s difficult to trace back, but most impressions of the cannibalistic character have included the line since the very beginning. The Silence of the Lambs came out in 1991, and in 1996 we all got a clip of Jim Carrey imitating him with the misquote. In The Cable Guy, his character dons meat on his face at a Medieval Times restaurant and says “Hello, Clarice:”
“Hello, Clarice. It’s nice to see you again.” The Cable GuyMaybe we can take up our mass Mandela Effect up with Jim Carrey? Luckily, the quote became canon later with a follow-up movie to The Silence of the Lambs.
Thanks, HannibalAfter so many years of people misquoting the movie, Hannibal solved everything. The 2001 sequel to the original movie, starring Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling with Anthony Hopkins reprising his epic role, included the quote. Catch it in the trailer below:
“Is this Clarice? Well hello, Clarice.” HannibalSure, it took a full decade to make this iconic line a reality, but better late than never.
If you’re still not believing that your memory of The Silence of the Lambs is wrong, you can always watch it again all the way through. Watch it wherever you like to rent movies.
Need a little romance in your life? A little picture-perfect flirtation and witty banter? We’ve got you covered.
After a grueling workweek, there’s nothing quite like unwinding with a heartwarming rom-com series. Whether you crave the elegance of period dramas, the allure of modern love stories, or the whimsy of quirky comedies, the world of romantic comedies beckons. These 10 series promise to be your perfect companions, offering the ideal escape after those long, demanding workdays.
‘4 Weddings and a Funeral’ (2019) | HuluHuluIf you enjoy British rom-coms like Notting Hill and Bridget Jones’ Diary, you’ll love this Mindy Kaling-produced series. Follow an eclectic group of friends, including Nathalie Emmanuel’s Maya and Nikesh Patel’s Kash, as they navigate the ups and downs of love, weddings, and life’s unexpected surprises. Set in London, it features all the wit you’d expect from a British comedy. And Rebecca Rittenhouse’s stellar wardrobe is icing on the cake.
‘Bridgerton’ (2020) | NetflixNetflixThe Regency-era rom-com series is a visual treat featuring lavish costumes and scandalous love affairs. And it’s perfect for those who enjoy the angst of a love/hate relationship. Join the Bridgerton family as they manage London’s high society in a world filled with intrigue, gossip, and, of course, romance.
‘Emily in Paris’ (2020) | NetflixNetflixIf you’re looking for a modern take on romance and fashion, Emily in Paris delivers. Follow Lily Collins’ Emily, a young marketing executive from Chicago, as she moves to Paris for work and finds herself entangled in both the professional and romantic escapades of the City of Love.
‘The Great’ (2020) | HuluHuluIf you enjoy humor-driven historical dramas and unconventional love stories, this one’s for you.
This satirical rom-com takes a cheeky look at the life of Catherine the Great of Russia. Expect royal intrigue, political machinations, and plenty of witty banter as Elle Fanning’s Catherine faces the challenges of being a young ambitious queen. Of course, her extravagant philandering Emporer husband, played by Nicolas Hoult, doesn’t make life in the palace easy.
‘Never Have I Ever’ (2020) | NetflixNetflixHigh school can be a rollercoaster of emotions, especially for Maitreyi Ramakrishnan’s Devi Vishwakumar. Join her on this hilarious journey as she tries to figure out the complexities of teenage life, friendships, and family, while on a quest for a hot boyfriend. The series is perfect for fans of coming-of-age stories, young love, and quirky friendships.
‘XO, Kitty’ (2023) | NetflixNetflixAfter winning fans over in To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved, Anna Cathcart is back as Kitty Covey, Lara Jean Covey’s tenacious and sharp-witted little sister. Now that she’s done helping her sister manage her love life, Kitty is heading to Seoul to reconnect with her long-distance boyfriend in XO, Kitty.
‘Modern Love’ (2019) | Prime VideoAmazon PrimeFor those craving a more realistic take on romance, explore this collection of true love stories featuring a star-studded cast that includes Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, and Dev Patel. Each episode highlights different facets of love in the modern world. From unexpected connections to the enduring bonds of family, the series offers glimpses into the intricacies of intimate relationships — romantic and platonic.
‘High Fidelity’ (2020) | HuluHuluIf you’re a fan of music, pop culture, humor, and romance, this series is right up your alley. Follow Zoe Kravitz’ Rob, a record store owner who reflects on past relationships and attempts to find closure with her exes as she explores new romantic possibilities. The best part — she does it all to a killer soundtrack.
‘And Just Like That…’ (2021) | MaxMaxFans of Sex and the City will rejoice as Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, and Cynthia Nixon return as Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda for a whole new chapter of their lives. With their swoon-worthy styles and cheeky humor, the crew explores new dynamics of love, sexuality, friendship, and parenthood in their home turf of New York City.
‘Starstruck’ (2021) | MaxMaxLooking for a quirky take on fame, love, and self-discovery? Jessie’s hilarious adventures will keep you entertained. Discover the awkward world of Jessie (Rose Matafeo), a young woman living in London who accidentally sleeps with a famous movie star. Perfect for those who enjoy fresh, offbeat rom-coms.
These movies may be a disaster, but the hot guys saving the day sure aren’t.
I love disaster movies. I love the heart-stopping spectacle, the thrilling set pieces, the faulty logic; and maybe my heart is rotting, too. I’m so prepared for the world to end that I feel relief seeing it finally happen. However, there’s another integral component of disaster movies that critics never talk about: hot, sweaty men. This was conclusively proven by a pivotal scene in the recent Twisters in which Glen Powell wears a wet T-shirt. That’s it. That’s the whole scene. And yet, it has had more of a cultural impact than the movie itself – and that’s saying a lot, considering that the movie has logged the third-biggest opening weekend of the year. Moreover, the wet T-shirt scene was also apparently more important than a rumored scene featuring Powell and Daisy Edgar-Jones kissing, which, unlike Powell’s diamond-hard nips, did not make it into the movie.
But Powell’s moist happy trail also gave me an idea. What would our disaster movies be without the hot guys in them who say things like, “We could have prevented this?” They make the movies more watchable, allowing directors to intercut between close-ups of their abs and tracking shots of the San Andreas Fault destroying San Francisco. So, with that in mind, I will now rank five popular disaster movies by the touchability of their male stars.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)The Trade: Jake Gyllenhaal (or Dennis Quaid, if you’re a daddy chaser)
Hotness ranking: 1 out of 5 fire tornadoes
Scientific reason: This movie came out at a weird time in Hollywood history, when Emmy Rossum was still “the next big thing” and Jake Gyllenhaal was not yet the brooding villain of Taylor Swift’s discography. That said, I have never found Jake Gyllenhaal very attractive. Now, have I replayed the tent scene from Brokeback Mountain forty times? Yes, but that was for research. In the case of The Day After Tomorrow, Jake Gyllenhaal is just a frail man with daddy issues and a Golden Retriever personality. At least he saved all those people from that tidal wave in Manhattan, though.
2012 (2009)Sony PicturesThe Trade: John Cusack
Hotness ranking: 0 out of 5 fire tornadoes
Scientific reason: Normally, I would smash the “tap” button on Grindr so hard if a guy were to tell me that he had successfully driven a car through a collapsing L.A. parking garage while the ground crumbled beneath him. But John Cusack doesn’t do it for me here. He’s too dad energy and desperate. Like, even though he doesn’t wear a fanny pack at any point, he low key gives those vibes. Also, he never says anything funny! My door only opens to men who make me laugh.
Pompeii (2014)LionsgateThe Trade: Kit Harington
Hotness ranking: 4 out of 5 fire tornadoes
Scientific reason: It was refreshing for me to see Kit Harington play a charming eager beaver type after watching him complain about the weather for ten years on Game of Thrones. Yes, Harington is still pensive in this movie, which follows the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in A.D. 79. However, he’s also fun. He gets to do action star things and be a naughty gladiator and chase after a basic rich girl. However, there’s one more factor of Harington’s performance that truly elevates it to Oscar-worthy. If you guessed his three-pack, you’re half right.
San Andreas (2015)Warner Bros.The Trade: The Rock
Hotness ranking: 2 out of 5 fire tornadoes
Scientific reason: The Rock has got biceps to spare. Also: Pecs, lats, quads, and the other ones. But he’s too much of a perfect archetype of, like, masculinity? Every time I see him on screen, I just see a guy with a massive ego and hero complex who gave himself an entire career as a rugged action star to get attention. This guy probably has 500,000-thread count sheets and a regular standing appointment with a Thai manicurist, but still wants us to think he could wrestle a lion. Pass.
Titanic (1997)Paramount PicturesThe Trade: Leonardo DiCaprio
Hotness Ranking: 10 out of 5 fire tornadoes
Scientific Reason: This movie combines a lot of genres, but the entire last hour or so is a disaster movie. But be honest: Would you care about Titanic if it weren’t for Rose’s hot three night stand? As Jack Dawson, Leonardo DiCaprio is bold, dreamy, self-deprecatingly funny, and middle-parted – a perfect storm of traits that make him a man of our time. Just try not to think about the bloated, creepy old man that Leo becomes in real life after the ship sinks, and we’re good.
Like television, novels, comic books, or video games, the film industry is characterized by its various genres, be it something more mainstream like comedy or horror or something a bit more niche, like a slasher or a buddy cop film. While certain cinematic genres ebb and flow in popularity, it’s a safe bet that movies will always fall into a clear-cut classification regarding their content, tone, or distinct narrative characteristics.
So long as genres are around, audiences can always expect to see comedy movies parodying those same cinematic genres in grand fashion. From satirical disaster movies to hilarious musical mockumentaries, these parody movies continue to delight and entertain fans across multiple generations.
Airplane! (1980)Paramount PicturesThe parody movie to end all parody movies, there’s a reason people continue to quote Airplane! over 40 years since its original release. The magnum opus of the Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker comedic team, Airplane! comes packed to the brim with laugh-out-loud lines and zany bits of humor. From Leslie Nielsen’s deadpan delivery to the movie’s utilization of slapstick and absurdist comedy, it’s literally impossible to keep a straight face throughout Airplane!’s quick-moving 87-minute runtime.
Young Frankenstein (1974)20th Century FoxThe crown jewel of Mel Brooks’ eclectic filmography, Young Frankenstein might just be the most iconic parody movie ever created. A tongue-in-cheek spoof of Universal’s ‘30s monster movies, Brooks and his legendary collaborator Gene Wilder found a satisfying balance in their parodic tone on Young Frankenstein, appealing to audiences of all ages through their one-of-a-kind humor and the movie’s austere comedic performance.
Blazing Saddles (1974)Warner Bros.At the risk of this simply becoming a list of the best Mel Brooks movies, we can’t discuss parody movies without bringing up Blazing Saddles. The film that helped Brooks and company make the jump to mainstream comedy, Blazing Saddles also showed off Brooks talent for presenting age-old genre tropes in a new and entertaining light. Mocking the most stereotypical aspects of a Western film, Brooks managed to introduce a wackier absurdist style than most audiences were used to seeing, paving the way for Brooks’ later work in Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
The Naked Gun: Files from the Police Squad! (1988)Paramount PicturesThe Naked Gun is one of those rare cinematic trilogies where every single entry remains worth seeing. As great as the series’ final two installments are, there’s something positive to be said about the initial entry in The Naked Gun series. A direct extension of the unjustly canceled Police Squad! TV series, Files from the Police Squad! acted as a fitting continuation of its television counterpart, expertly satirizing the hard-boiled conventions of the police procedural genre.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)New Line CinemaWrapping up his six-year tenure on Saturday Night Live in the mid 1990s, Mike Myers ensured his successful transition into the film industry with his 1997 cult favorite, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. The first of a trilogy, Myers conjured up an effective love letter to the overly stylized James Bond series with his International Man of Mystery. Lampooning some of the foremost elements associated with the Bond universe, Myers poked fun at all the kitschier plot points of a 007 adventure, from the cartoonishly evil villain to the movies’ innuendo-laden dialogue.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)EMI FilmsFollowing the conclusion of Monty Python’s Flying Circus in 1974, the Python troupe reunited for a full-fledged feature film satirizing Arthurian legend. The results gave way to one of the most iconic British comedies in the entirety of pop culture, allowing the Pythons to make the momentous leap from TV to film. As with their original series and later films, Monty Python and the Holy Grail drew on the Pythons’ extensive reliance on surreal and absurdist gags, taking King Arthur and his knights on an epic journey filled with revolutionary peasants, salacious maidens, and ferocious, man-eating rabbits.
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)Embassy PicturesA landmark film in the mockumentary genre, This Is Spinal Tap has certainly earned its status as an universally beloved cult film in the decade since its release. Laying the groundwork for later TV series like The Office, Parks and Recreation, and Modern Family, This Is Spinal Tap demonstrated the eminent potential for a documentary-style comedy narrative, something that became all too apparent years later. A direct parody of pretentious ‘70s and ‘80s rock documentaries, This Is Spinal Tap cranks the dial up to 11 in terms of its rapid-fire jokes and highly original comedy sequences, from the inclusion of an 18-inch Stonehenge to drummers mysteriously prone to combustion.
Some lessons are timeless.There’s something so timelessly awesome about 13 Going on 30. Despite it coming out over 20 years ago, even new fans are loving Jennifer Garner’s Big-esque storyline. Maybe it’s the so-bad-it’s-good 80’s fashion sprinkled throughout. Perhaps it’s the idea of swapping bodies with your future self. Or it’s everyone’s Marvel crush Mark Ruffalo, pre-Hulk. Either way, when you re-watch this rom-com masterpiece, there are some life lessons you’ll want to keep long after the end credits roll.
Don’t forget who your real friends are.Mistake number one for Jenna Rink is her almost pathological insistence on spending time with the popular girls at her school, the self-named “Six Chicks.” These are not her friends, yet she invites them to her 13th birthday party. It doesn’t hurt that the Six Chicks are promising to bring Jenna’s crush. And she just pushes her real friend Matt away. How fun can a birthday party really be if it’s filled with people who don’t like you?
If someone does something big for you, they’re more than just a friend.Speaking of Matt, he really goes all out for Jenna’s birthday. He brings her this decked-out dollhouse and a packet of Wishing Dust to “make all her dreams come true.” Girl, no regular friend will do that. He’s at least a ride-or-die bestie, but more likely has a gigantic crush. This is the kind of clue you might be missing from the people around you right now.
Be careful what you wish for.I think we’ve all seen or read enough wishing stories to know that you essentially need an iron-clad contract if you’re going to be making any wishes. With Jenna’s “30, flirty, and thriving” wish, of course it didn’t turn out the way she wanted. Better to just make the life you want for yourself than relying on spooky wish magic.
When in doubt, do the “Thriller” dance.Sony PicturesEveryone loves Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Learn the dance so you can liven up a party like Jenna. It sounds silly, but it’ll probably work even if you’re not the main character of a rom-com.
A youthful attitude is welcome no matter the age.When Jenna’s 13-year-old self is transported into her 30-year-old body, everything in her new adult life gets shaken up. Everyone at work is loving her new youthful attitude. She’s making friends everywhere she goes. Sometimes we get caught up in “acting our age,” but who decides what that means? If you find yourself avoiding fun things like dancing in the rain or wearing colorful clothes just because this is what you do when you’re 30, take a page from Jenna Rink’s book. Smile, have fun, and be your youthful self no matter what year is printed on your driver’s license.
Once a mean girl, always a mean girl.Jenna is thrilled to find that she not only works with Lucy–head of the Six Chicks–but they’re also best friends. It seems like Lucy has changed and is no longer a mean girl. We learn in the end that’s not the case and she sabotages Jenna’s career. While people do change and grow as they get older, maybe you shouldn’t be putting your trust in the school bully.
It’s never too late to do the right thing.Unfortunately, Lucy’s mean girl attitude rubbed off on pre-wish adult Jenna. 13-year-old Jenna realizes that she’d stolen ideas from the magazine she works for and gave them to another mag. Luckily, Jenna comes clean and does what’s right. You can, too. It may seem like it’s too late, but it really isn’t.
If you missed your chance, accept it.It takes until nearly the end of the movie for Jenna to realize she loves childhood best friend-turned-hottie Matt. By then he’s moved on from her and is in a happy and committed relationship. Here’s where Jenna eventually does the right thing: She lets him go. No breaking up a couple, no trying to get him to cheat. She accepts that she missed her chance. You can, too.
If you get a second chance, make it right this time.But of course, Jenna was sent to the future with wish magic, so she’s given a second chance. As you can see by the ending, she goes for it with 1987 Matt and they end up together in the future. If you have a second chance, don’t waste it. This goes for love, work, family, anything. Savor those second chances.
Always choose Mark Ruffalo.Sony PicturesI mean, really.
These amazing shows deserve to stay on everyone’s watchlists.
By its very nature, television is all about what’s new, sweeping audiences to exciting new locations and enthralling us with their original narrative storylines. As a nostalgia-loving culture, we all tend to look back fondly at certain TV shows, whether it’s rewatching old reruns of The Office on Comedy Central or geeking out about Star Trek whenever we head to Comic-Con. But for the most part, viewers are always looking ahead to the new show everyone’s talking about at work or gabbing about in between classes, preventing us from acknowledging the numerous other great shows that have come out in the past few decades.
As much as we all love Prime’s Fallout series or HBO’s ongoing House of the Dragon, it’s also worth remembering how many other well-loved shows have since fallen out of favor among contemporary audiences, from rowdy 2000s-era sitcoms to epic historical drama series.
Six Feet UnderHBOIn theory, a dark comedy series about a family of morticians seems to write itself. When it came to the final product, however, Six Feet Under somehow managed to exceed expectations, creating a series unlike any other to air on HBO. Holding audiences’ interests throughout the 2000s, Six Feet Under probed into the deeper matters of average human existence, from unfulfilled romantic relationships to difficulties in bonding with estranged siblings. But as Six Feet Under continuously emphasized, each of us is given a very limited window to make the most of our time on Earth, allowing us to (hopefully) approach each day as though it were our last. Watch Six Feet Under on Netflix and Max.
RomeHBO / BBC TwoA few short years before Game of Thrones captured international attention for its political nuance, Rome delighted viewers with its complex themes, intelligent writing, and thematic analysis of power and precarious political institutions. A rip-roaring study of Ancient Rome at the height of its military might, Rome detailed how the world’s mightiest empire eventually caved in on itself, giving way to violent factional disputes, corruption, and authoritative tyrants. Like its spiritual successor in Game of Thrones, it’s a drama series that’s bound to appeal to every viewers’ interests, presenting each of its historical figures as morally gray characters rather than stone-faced heroes from ancient mythology. Watch Rome on Max.
3rd Rock from the SunNBCThe ‘90s marked a golden age of phenomenal TV series, especially when it came to family-friendly sitcoms like Seinfeld, Friends, or Frasier. With how many great shows came about in the decade, it’s inevitable that certain series like 3rd Rock from the Sun might be overshadowed by its larger, more successful contemporaries. In spite of its meager audience today, however, 3rd Rock from the Sun still holds up as a consistently humorous sci-fi comedy series. Focusing on an alien expeditionary group’s attempts to integrate into human society, 3rd Rock from the Sun held up a mirror to the puzzling behavior that characterizes daily life, ensuring plenty of hilarity from one episode to the next. Watch 3rd Rock from the Sun on Hoopla.
Malcolm in the MiddleFoxBefore he was the criminal kingpin Walter White in AMC’s critically acclaimed Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston hammed it up as the absent-minded father Hal in the 2000s-era sitcom, Malcolm in the Middle. Following the dysfunctional family members of a low-income household in the suburbs, Malcolm in the Middle distanced itself from the down-to-earth nature of most sitcoms before it, doubling down on its off-the-walls humor in lieu of more cathartic sequences. Whether focusing on the mischievous antics of Malcolm and his siblings or the chaotic misadventures of Hal and his wife Lois, Malcolm in the Middle never had a dull or unoriginal moment in its seven-season-long run, boasting plenty of surprises in each of its 151 episodes. Watch Malcolm in the Middle on Hulu.
LostABCEven considering its polarizing ending, few shows have captivated audiences to the same extent as Lost. The premiere series of the 2000s, Lost combined an unorthodox narrative approach with Twilight Zone-levels of twists and turns, solving some of its long-standing mysteries even as it continued building new ones. Prioritizing characterization above all else, Lost’s nonlinear episodic chronology, flawed heroes, relatable villains, and taut blend between sci-fi, fantasy, and drama makes it a show as enjoyable now as it was two decades ago on ABC. Watch Lost on Hulu.
FringeFoxFor those in the know, “fringe science” encapsulates branches of scientific study that are purely speculative or incapable of being proven true (IE, subjects like ESP, parallel universes, or alien civilizations). Adopting that idea as the basis for an entire TV series, Fringe involves a group of paranormal researchers using experimental investigation methods to solve otherwise unexplainable supernatural cases. Borrowing elements of Lost and combining it with the procedural format of The X-Files, Fringe made for an endlessly creative TV series on par with Twin Peaks, propelling itself forward with its palpable mysteries and unique scientific concepts. Watch Fringe on Max and FreeVee.
FarscapeSci-Fi ChannelThe late 1990s and early 2000s ushered in a wave of memorable sci-fi series, whether in the form of cult-favorite space Westerns series like Firefly or inventive sci-fi dramas like Battlestar Galactica. Nestled into this mix of worthwhile sci-fi shows is the 1999 space opera series, Farscape. Following a ragtag group of interstellar travelers fleeing from a totalitarian government, Farscape harked back to the sci-fi splendor of Star Trek or Star Wars, utilizing ideas related to authority, independence, deep-space exploration, and the abundant mysteries of the universe. To this day, diehard fans continue to mention the series in the same breath as Star Trek: The Next Generation or Battlestar Galactica in terms of its depth and atmospheric storytelling, which is significant praise in and of itself. Watch Farscape on Peacock, Tubi, and FreeVee.
Want to solve some mysteries? Here are the best mystery TV shows and where to stream them.
Who doesn’t love a good mystery, whether a classic Agatha Christie whodunit or a long-running TV series? Appealing to every viewer’s inner detective, mystery series have a way of challenging audiences with their taut central narratives, weaving together complex plotlines that encourage a degree of participation. Whether it’s unmasking a murderer or investigating potential alien encounters, these TV series have interacted with viewers on an intellectual and emotional basis, presenting mysteries that only grow more intriguing over time.
Twin PeaksABCA mystery series that shocked, stupefied, and consistently terrified audiences across the globe in the 1990s, Twin Peaks has obtained a significant cult following in the decades since its release–its popularity eventually resulting in a film continuation and a long-belated third season. Weaving together multiple conflicting genres in each of its episodes, David Lynch and Mark Frost created their own self-contained universe with Twin Peaks. Evoking a melodramatic tone that lampooned soap operas one moment before transitioning into a surreal horror film the next, it’s a show unlike any other to ever air on television, before or since. Watch Twin Peaks on Paramount+ for Amazon Video.
SherlockBBC OneSherlock Holmes remains synonymous with the mystery genre for a reason. No matter his cinematic or TV incarnation, each TV show or movie bearing the character’s name has managed to construct engaging mysteries, from the Robert Downey Jr.-led action films to the BBC series starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Offering a contemporary take on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s literary series, Sherlock transposes the famous Victorian detective to the modern age. Retaining the same signature mysteries first presented by Doyle over a century ago, Sherlock also adds a fresh spin on each of its classic stories, including updated versions of Dr. John Watson (Martin Freeman) and the “Napoleon of Crime,” James Moriarty (Andrew Scott). Watch Sherlock on Hulu.
True DetectiveMaxIt’s nothing short of a tragedy anytime a promising TV series sees a major drop in quality after a phenomenal first season. Case in point with True Detective, the HBO anthology series with one of the most inconsistent track records in all of television. As disappointing as its later seasons are, though, the inaugural season of True Detective stands apart, dovetailing a remarkable cast with a moody Southern Gothic atmosphere as tonally similar to Lovecraft as it is to William Faulkner. Dark, gritty, and unforgettably strange, not even the overwhelming failures of True Detective’s second and fourth seasons can erase the esteem of the series’ debut mystery. Watch True Detective on Max.
Agatha Christie’s PoirotITVWith the notable exception of Sherlock Holmes, few names are as closely tied to the mystery genre quite as intrinsically as Agatha Christie. The skilled wordsmith who forever popularized the whodunit genre, Christie’s most famous stories revolve around her industrious Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot–the lead character in the eponymous British TV series, Agatha Christie’s Poirot. With David Suchet eloquently capturing the charisma, wit, and overarching intelligence of his literary counterpart, Poirot effortlessly adapts all of Christie’s most beloved stories for the small screen, including such classics as Death on the Nile and Murder on the Orient Express. Watch Poirot on BritBox.
Mare of EasttownHBOOne of the best miniseries produced by HBO yet, one might describe Mare of Easttown as the hard-boiled equivalent to Twin Peaks (IE, instead of backwards-talking supernatural entities, there’s down-and-out drug addicts and washed-up high school basketball players). Relying on a talented cast of A-list actors–including Kate Winslet, Evan Peters, Guy Pearce, and Jean Smart–Mare of Easttown’s grittier tone allowed for a series of startling realism, ensuring a mystery as palpably suspenseful as Seven, Zodiac, or Gone Girl. Watch Mare of Easttown on Max.
The X-FilesFoxTaking a page out of Rod Serling’s playbook, The X-Files somehow infused two genres in one, melding together the traditional police procedural drama with the heady atmosphere of a Twilight Zone mystery. The results gave way to one of the most iconic TV series of all time, kick-starting the “monster of the week” horror subgenre later adopted by Supernatural, Fringe, and Grimm. Drawing upon countless conspiracy theories related to alien abduction, ancient mythology, and ghoulish folk stories, The X-Files remains as universally beloved today as it had been in the early 1990s. Watch The X-Files on Hulu.
Scooby-Doo! Mystery IncorporatedCartoon NetworkDon’t laugh–we’re serious. While certainly geared towards a younger audience demographic, Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated somehow managed to gauge viewers’ interest across a wide age margin. A fun and approachable mystery series that wasn’t afraid to veer towards surprisingly darker territory, Mystery Incorporated broke the rules when it came to traditional Scooby-Doo stories, maintaining a consistent continuity and strong character development from one season to the next. Interestingly, the series also took direct inspiration from numerous recognizable pop culture properties, parodying and referencing such horror films as Saw, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Silence of the Lambs in their weekly episodes. Watch Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated on Max and Netflix.
With the rise of AI in the mainstream, will we see a rise in AI horror?
Hey Siri, are you planning on ruining my life by terrorizing me with a technological demon or controlling my life by killing those close to me? No? Okay, that’s great because the movies are really starting to make AI seem pretty terrifying. From M3GAN (2022) to the new release at the end of this month titled Afraid, AI horror might be becoming a fully fleshed-out subgenre in horror. There’s always been unintentionally scary movies about AI, like BladeRunner and I, Robot. They aren’t specifically horror, but the threat of AI taking over and creating a dystopian-type world is felt while watching.
M3GAN – Universal PicturesWhen diving more into horror, since M3GAN came out, more AI horror has been making its way to streaming services and theatres. M3GAN was released in early 2023 and features a lifelike doll that is programmed to be a child’s best friend and caretaker. In the film, M3GAN is used to kind of take the place of actual parents because the creator, Gemma (Allison Williams) is left to raise her niece after her parents tragically die. Gemma is career-driven and taking care of Cady (Violet McGraw) isn’t her main priority. With M3GAN, she can provide Cady with a friend while also prioritizing her career. That is until the AI robot starts to kill for Cady. M3GAN focuses a lot on how parents need to parent and not rely on outside sources, but also emphasizes how AI can be so incredibly advanced that chaos will ensue. The terrifying empty doll stare and impeccable dance moves make her truly terrifying.
Before M3GAN, we had some real gems of AI horror like Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) which involves a robotic Santa who goes on a Christmas Eve killing spree. If you like camp, please give it a watch. There’s also the 2019 Child’s Play remake, which transitions Chucky from being a possessed doll like in the original to an AI doll without any safety protocols installed. The Alpha Test is also worth mentioning, as it was released in 2020 and is about a home AI assistant who is treated poorly by the family it is serving. This, naturally, causes the assistant to become a violent killing machine.
Upgrade – BlumhouseIf you’re someone who is attached to your smartphone, maybe you should give A.M.I. (2019) a watch. A.M.I. focuses on AI built-in on our phones and forces the user to do its bidding, even if that means committing murder. Finally, Upgrade is a 2018 cyberpunk horror film that gives a man a second chance at life after he becomes paralyzed after being mugged, causing the murder of his wife. AI gives him a second chance at walking and living again, but he decides to use those powers for evil and seek revenge on his wife’s killers.
In late August, we have another new AI horror film to add to the list called Afraid. Afraid follows a family who is selected to test out a revolutionary AI home device that anticipates behavior to best serve the family. As with all other AI horrors before, we know that AI is way smarter than we give it credit for, and in Afraid that is no exception. The AI device manipulates the family and keeps each member safe no matter what action is necessary to do so. Afraid will be released in theaters on August 30th.
While AI horror has always been around, there’s definitely a spike in interest as everything and everyone is starting to use AI in some capacity. Whether that’s Siri on our phones, ChatGPT, or even AI devices in restaurants and homes, this subgenre of horror begs and pleads with us to be careful of how much power we give to AI. As technology continues to advance, there will only be more threats and possibilities of what AI can do for us. If you’re skeptical of it, check out some of the movies named here to get a bit more confirmation bias that we need to write off artificial intelligence. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s safe to say we can expect more AI horror movies as we watch them on smart devices that could totally turn on us at any point. Happy watching!
If you want a comprehensive list of AI horror movies, visit out spooky sister site, Creepy Catalog: 18+ Scary & Thrilling Movies About AI.
Glen Powell is currently the “it” guy of Hollywood. If you want to catch up on all things Glen, these are his best movies so far–and where to watch them.
While Hollywood has no shortage of promising young talent, Glen Powell appears as a different sort of star entirely. Making his debut as a small-time supporting actor in the beginning of the 2000s, Powell has slowly but surely risen through the ranks of the film industry over the past 20 years. Catapulting himself from bit roles in movies like Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over and The Dark Knight Rises to starring roles in Top Gun: Maverick and Hit Man, Powell’s ascension to international stardom seems almost assured.
With the recent release of Powell’s latest venture – the riveting natural disaster film, Twisters – we thought we’d take a look back at some of the up-and-coming actor’s past prominent films, ranking them in order from worst to best.
Anyone But You (2023)Sony Pictures ReleasingFrom an objective viewpoint, Anyone But You is far from a great movie, existing as a pale adaptation of William Shakespeare’s classic romantic comedy, Much Ado About Nothing. Borrowing plenty of inspiration from earlier, far better romcoms before it, Anyone But You’s primary appeal lies in the performances of its lead casting members – specifically in the form of Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell’s hilariously mismatched odd couple pairing. Bickering their way through the film’s hour and a half-long runtime like an old married couple, Anyone But You establishes Sweeney and Powell as the 21st century equivalent to Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant in their one-of-a-kind romantic and comedic rapport. Watch Anyone But You on Netflix.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)Paramount PicturesThe second collaboration between Powell and his recurring director Richard Linklater, Everybody Wants Some!! also sees Powell in a far more expansive role following his previous appearance in Linklater’s Fast Food Nation. A creative companion piece to Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, Everybody Wants Some!! finds Powell donning the distinctly ‘80s apparel of college baseball player, Walt “Finn” Finnegan. A mischievous party animal able to blend into any environment he finds himself in, it’s impossible not to be won over by Finn’s outgoing charisma and consistently likable personality within the context of Everybody Wants Some!! Watch Everybody Wants Some!! on Prime Video, Paramount+, and MGM+.
Twisters (2024)Universal PicturesOne of Powell’s most recent projects, Twisters serves as the long-awaited standalone sequel to the 1996 natural disaster film, Twister. A film 28 years in the making, Twisters somehow managed to supersede almost everyone’s expectations, leading to one of the most sensational blockbuster films of 2024 yet. With Powell himself handing in another predictably charming performance as Internet celebrity Tyler Owens, Twisters balances its talented ensemble cast with riveting special effects throughout. Watch Twisters in theaters now.
Devotion (2022)Columbia PicturesAn ideal counterpart to Powell’s celebrated performance in Top Gun: Maverick, Devotion offers a far different portrayal of the United States Navy than its stylistic predecessor. Rather than prioritizing thrilling flight sequences, Devotion spends just as much time on showing the tremendous bond between two real-life pilots as they take part in the Korean War of the 1950s. Whereas most of Powell’s other films tend to rely on the actor’s comedic sensibilities, Devotion leans more heavily on Powell’s dramatic acting, allowing for an engrossing biographical war drama most viewers won’t soon forget. Watch Devotion on Paramount+.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)Paramount PicturesThe film that made Powell a world-renowned star almost overnight, Top Gun: Maverick appears as that rare sequel that surpasses the overall quality of its predecessor. Improving upon the meager flaws of the original Top Gun in every way, Top Gun: Maverick makes for another worthwhile addition to Tom Cruise’s expansive filmography, as well as equipping Powell with his official breakthrough role as the arrogant – albeit ambitious – Top Gun pilot, Lieutenant “Hangman” Seresin. Watch Top Gun: Maverick on Prime Video, Paramount+, and MGM+.
Hit Man (2024)NetflixThe fourth collaboration between Powell and Richard Linklater, Hit Man also hands Powell the most screen time he’s ever received in a Linklater film yet. Portraying bookish psychology professor-turned-undercover police informant Gary Johnson, Powell’s massive range is on full display in 2023’s Hit Man. Inhabiting each one of Gary’s many disguises with startling believability, Powell disappears into every persona he portrays in Hit Man, regardless of whether he’s portraying a mild-mannered ornithologist, a Southern outdoorsman, an ominous Russian criminal, or a grinning sociopath straight out of American Psycho. Watch Hit Man on Netflix.
Who doesn’t love a good mystery every now and again? Forcing audiences to pop on their thinking caps and pay close attention, mystery films have the ability to challenge casual viewers in a way few movie genres can. Presenting taut central mysteries, these movies have a way of defying preconceived expectations about where the narrative might be headed, swerving left just when you assumed the story was going right.
Whether through their enigmatic main plots or constant twists and turns, these mystery movies will leave viewers clutching the arms of their chair in disbelief, wondering what on earth is going to happen next.
MementoSummit EntertainmentA neo-noir movie told through branching narrative timelines, Memento may take a few viewings to fully understand–but it’s well worth the extra effort. One of the earliest breakthrough films for fledgling director Christopher Nolan, Memento focuses on an amnesia patient’s (Guy Pearce) investigation into the death of his wife. Alternating between past and present events, Nolan effortlessly manages to toss viewers into the often confusing perspective of Memento’s lead character, requiring audiences to pay close attention to decipher the movie’s overarching mysteries. Watch Memento on Peacock and FreeVee.
Gone Girl20th Century FoxTons of thriller movies feature a twist near the film’s last act, demolishing audiences’ expectations in terms of the story and characters. In contrast to most other movies in the genre, Gone Girl does the unthinkable, flipping the film’s unsettling script almost exactly around the halfway point. A tense and uncomfortable study about an average man (Ben Affleck) searching for his missing wife (Rosamund Pike), Gone Girl is guaranteed to leave your jaw hanging in more than a few places, lulling you into a false sense of security before veering into some wholly unexpected territory. Watch Gone Girl on Amazon Video.
Shutter IslandParamount PicturesPerhaps the closest Martin Scorsese will ever come to directing a full-blown horror movie, Shutter Island acts as a spine-tingling love letter to ‘50s horror comics and classic noir films of the same era. Thrusting an everyman detective (Leonardo DiCaprio) into a mental health facility for notorious criminals, Shutter Island only seems to grow more and more chaotic with each passing moment, posing just as many questions as it does answers. Watch Shutter Island on Amazon Video.
VertigoParamount PicturesYou can’t have a list of mystery movies without mentioning Alfred Hitchcock. Earning the moniker “The Master of Suspense” for a reason, almost all of Hitchcock’s thriller movies remain worth seeing–but there’s something to be said about his 1958 masterpiece, Vertigo. Working alongside his faithful collaborator Jimmy Stewart, Hitchcock captures an almost hallucinogenic atmosphere in this classic psychological thriller–one where the audience, like Stewart’s protagonist, never really knows what’s happening until the very end. Watch Vertigo on Prime Video.
ZodiacParamount PicturesNext to Alfred Hitchcock, director David Fincher has developed a well-earned reputation for his psychological thrillers and mystery movies, as seen from past releases like Gone Girl, Seven, The Game, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Along with this impressive lineup of films, Fincher has also earned praise for 2007’s Zodiac, an astonishing true crime thriller detailing the crimes and subsequent investigation of the Bay Area Zodiac Killer. Quite possibly Fincher’s finest movie, Zodiac also highlights the enigma surrounding its titular antagonist, as well as the obsessive efforts of police and local reporters trying to capture the infamous serial killer. Watch Zodiac on Amazon Video.
Mystic RiverWarner Bros.Far from a great actor alone, Clint Eastwood has also directed plenty of superb movies over the years, from the heartbreaking sports drama Million Dollar Baby to his genre-defining Western film, Unforgiven. With Mystic River, Eastwood manages to create a chilling study of a murder in a small town community, pitting three estranged childhood best friends (Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim Robbins) against one another. As tragic as it is engaging, Mystic River never fails to garner some resort of response from viewers (typically in the form of a hearty sob). Watch Mystic River on Amazon Video.
ClueParamount PicturesBased on everyone’s favorite family board game, Clue also takes the cake for the best board game adaptation ever put to film. A hilarious, occasionally dark murder mystery that almost seems like a spoof of an Agatha Christie novel, Clue combines a talented ensemble cast with a fast-paced script, never sparing a moment to deliver some kind of laugh-out-loud joke or fascinating new plot development. Watch Clue on Amazon Video.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy reveals the four behaviors that expose a seemingly “generous” person as a narcissist.
They subject you to grand romantic gestures, excessive future faking, love bombing and charm in the beginning to hook you and cause you to invest in them — only to withdraw and withhold as soon as they’ve gotten what they wanted.People with narcissistic and psychopathic traits tend to leech off the resources of others and depend on the praise, validation, ego strokes, and efforts from people to keep them “nourished.” They also tend to associate themselves with people who have status, reputation, talent, financial assets, attractiveness, and achievements they can exploit for their own use and ride the coattails of. Yet in order to get those people to cater to them, they first have to shower their chosen targets with excessive flattery, attention, grand romantic gestures, praise, promises for the future, and love bombing to ensure they invest in a future that may never come to fruition, or at least not in the way they suggested it would. Once they have gotten everything they’ve needed from these targets, they tend to move on quickly to other victims with little regard for the well-being of their previous partners. This is the narcissistic man who charms and love bombs his dates into believing he’s looking for a fairytale relationship only to sleep with them and never call back, or the narcissistic woman who tells her boyfriend she is looking to be married so he can financially take care of her in the meantime, only to cheat on him with multiple partners behind his back.
They give only in order to get — when it’s your turn to receive, they neglect you or become emotionally stingy. There is no “free gift” with a narcissist.It stands to reason that mutual generosity and reciprocity can be the foundation for many healthy relationships, but in most healthy relationships, both people give freely to each other without a sense of excessive entitlement or one-sided selfishness. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they will only give to you if it benefits them but when it comes time for them to also be generous or fulfill their promises to you, they suddenly appear stingy or make overwhelming excuses for why they can’t seem to follow through, often causing you to invest in them under false pretenses. For example, a narcissistic friend may ask you for a loan and promise to pay you back, only to suddenly disappear when they make bank with the money you loaned them and it’s time to be reimbursed. Or a narcissistic romantic partner might promise you a happy marriage to get you to live with them and pay half the rent during the relationship, only to speed off into the sunset with a new mistress. A narcissistic boyfriend may take you out to a lavish vacation for your birthday, only to demand you pay half of the expenses after presenting it as a “gift” to you, or deliberately get you the wrong gift altogether after you spend time finding a thoughtful gift for them.
They display an excessive sense of entitlement to the fruits of your labor but accuse you of being “selfish” if you ask for compensation or ask for anything in return. Entitled people like to project onto other people and pretend that their victims are the ones being entitled when they ask for fair compensation and acknowledgment. Narcissists weaponize this projection to make you feel guilty should you ever dare try to hold them accountable for their behavior. A narcissistic family member may ask for you to pay for their lavish lifestyle, but when you ask them for a favor, they may lash out in rage and accuse you of being demanding and needy. A narcissistic romantic partner may tell you that you’re being “spoiled” and remind you daily of the few times they took you out on a romantic date during the love bombing and future faking stages of the relationship if you ever call out their neglect but continue to use you for free housing. The double standards in such circumstances are absurd and the hypocrisy tends to be blatant with dark personality types.
They create a power imbalance and potent inequality throughout the relationship between what they expect you to give to them and pretend what they have given you is too generous for you to ever complain, revealing a lack of empathy for your needs and desires.Empathic people give freely to others because they enjoy giving and making others happy – this is why they tend to be taken advantage of by dark personalities. A narcissist will give because it creates a sense of fear, obligation, and guilt — as well as a power imbalance. This is the wealthy husband who does not have a genuine provider mentality but rather uses his money to control, isolate and financially abuse his partner, often even exploiting her resources and labor to benefit him despite having the means to be generous while she suffers. It is the narcissistic wife who verbally abuses her husband while making use of his resources. Should a victim ever complain about the treatment they’re enduring, the narcissist will remind them of “their place” and threaten to take anything they’ve received away from to micromanage their ability to speak up for themselves. This pattern of coercion creates a power imbalance and disparity that leaves victims exploited and unable to defend themselves.
These unlikely rom com couples shouldn’t have worked, and yet…
There are the beautiful couples that you see on screen and think, “Of course.” They go together like peanut butter and chocolate, like tortilla chips and seven-layer dip. They’re the Ryan Goslings and Emily Blunts of the acting world. While those kind of rom com moments are fun to watch, there’s something extra special about the unlikely duos. We’re talking about romantic comedy couples that seem like an odd match on paper, yet they totally work on-screen. They have so much passion and chemistry that you can’t help but wish they’d find love together in real life.
Now, we’re not saying that anyone in these couples is inherently unlovable. On the contrary, so many of these people are beloved by audiences. Rather, it’s that the match-ups got skeptical side-eyes from audiences before they saw the movie. But once we all saw these couples on screen? Oh boy, it’s like they’ve belonged together all along.
Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron in Long Shot (2019)LionsgateSeth Rogen is no stranger to rom coms, sky-rocketing his career in 2007’s Knocked Up. While that early romantic comedy was fun, the chemistry wasn’t exactly there. It turns out, that’s not a Seth Rogen problem. In Long Shot, by the time he and Charlize Theron act on their feelings, the chemistry is palpable. I can’t imagine a world where they wouldn’t make a perfect couple.
Jack Black and Kate Winslet in The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesJudging by all the advertising for The Holiday, the filmmakers clearly thought Jude Law and Cameron Diaz would be the most-loved couple of the movie. Alas, as soon as we all saw the amazing chemistry between Kate Winslet and Jack Black, you couldn’t deny who the real star couple of the film was. And thus started a generation of people rightfully in love with Jack Black (if they hadn’t already gotten there thanks to School of Rock).
John Cusack and Ione Skye in Say Anything (1989)20th Century FoxNot only were John Cusack and Ione Skye an interesting casting choice for every man’s favorite 80s rom com, Say Anything, but it was also the basis for the plot. Lloyd Dobler convinces Diane Court to go out with him even though the pairing makes no sense. But just like Diane realizes in the end that they’re the perfect match, so does the audience about Cusack and Skye.
Amy Schumer and everyone in the cast of I Feel Pretty (2018)STX EntertainmentThis isn’t a dig at Amy Schumer. The point of I Feel Pretty is that she thinks she’s become model-hot when in reality she’s the same as she always was. It’s her unending confidence that attracts not only the loveably cute Rory Scovel, but rich magazine siblings Tom Hopper and Michelle Williams. When you see Schumer’s amazing personality, it becomes super believable that she’d be seducing literally everyone without even trying.
Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer in Warm Bodies (2013)Summit EntertainmentAudiences weren’t convinced at the premise of a woman falling for a zombie, which might be why Warm Bodies is such an underrated gem. While it wouldn’t be out-of-this-world for someone to fall for Nicholas Hoult IRL, when you add the undead plotline, it gets a little murkier. Alas, the love is believable in this A+ film, especially since we get it from the zombie’s ultra-romantic perspective.
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in The Wedding Singer (1998)New Line CinemaThese days, we’re all well-aware that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore have chemistry. They’ve showed it time and time again, but audiences weren’t so sure of the match back in 1998 with their first movie together, The Wedding Singer. Up to this point, Sandler was only starring in silly comedies. With this film though, he showed that he can easily pull the likes of Drew Barrymore.
Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)Buena Vista PicturesThis may seem weird now, but Patrick Dempsey wasn’t known as “McDreamy” in the 80s. In classic “take off their glasses and suddenly they’re hot” fare, Dempsey is the classic nerd at the start of Can’t Buy Me Love. It isn’t until Amanda Peterson gives him his cool guy makeover that you suddenly see what all the fuss is about.
Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In (1997)Columbia PicturesSalma Hayek is one of those untouchable actors. She’s the pinnacle of beauty in any decade, so when movie-goers saw her paired up with awkward everyman Matthew Perry, it seemed like an odd choice. Alas, when you watch Fools Rush In, you’ll fall for him right along with her. Some match-ups may seem weird on paper, but they just make sense once you see them on screen.
It’s time to appreciate everything that made the original The Crow so special, especially its stellar cast. Where are they now?
In May 1994, The Crow soared into theaters and the hearts of the audience around the world. The gothic-tinged supernatural film taught everyone about the power of love (better than Huey Lewis and the News ever did) and how revenge is a dish best served while wearing face paint and a trench coat. It also received mythical status due to the on-set death of lead star Brandon Lee. While Lee’s performance rightfully deserves all the praise and adoration, he wasn’t alone in creating a film that’s stood the test of time and remains a revered part of ’90s cinema. So, with that said, let’s look back at The Crow cast and what they’re up to 30 years later.
Ernie HudsonThe Crow / Ghostbusters: Frozen EmpireWhile the wry and sarcastic Peter Venkman gets all the attention in Ghostbusters, let’s be honest and admit the wholesome Winston Zeddemore is the real MVP of the franchise. Undoubtedly, Ernie Hudson remains tied to that role for life, even if his part as Sergeant Daryl Albrecht in The Crow showcases his wider range as an actor. Hudson is also one of the hardest working people in the business, as his filmography across both television and film could be the length of a novel. Since The Crow, he’s appeared in high-profile shows such as Law & Order, Modern Family, and Quantum Leap, while popping up in movies like the side-splitting Miss Congeniality and the barking-mad Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva la Fiesta! Hudson reprised his iconic role as Winston in 2021’s Ghostbusters: Afterlife and the 2024 sequel, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.
Rochelle DavisThe Crow / @therochelledavisRochelle Davis plays the pivotal role of the young Sarah Mohr in The Crow. However, after the Brandon Lee tragedy during filming, she stepped away from acting for the most part. “I hated being recognized,” she said in a 2017 interview. “So, I ‘ran away’ from that life, so to speak. I changed my hair color and things like that to look different, I would even deny ‘being her’ when people asked. It took me two-plus decades to be ok with who I was and accept the attention.” Davis started her own podcast titled The Crow’s Nest and was working on a book about her life story with a ghostwriter. In addition, she expressed a harsh reaction to The Crow reboot trailer.
Michael WincottThe Crow / NopeThe raspy voice. The straight jet-black hair. The colder than frozen yogurt demeanor. Michael Wincott’s Top Dollar remains a grade-A bad guy on the big screen that adds a nasty touch to The Crow. There’s such an ease and chaotic calm that Wincott brings to the role and carries over into his other work as well. And he’s been busy since The Crow, too, starring in films such as Alien Resurrection, Along Came a Spider, The Count of Monte Cristo, Hitchcock, and Nope. He’s also taken on the world of television in the meantime, appearing in celebrated shows like 24: Live Another Day and Westworld. Sadly, no one has had the bright idea to cast him as a Bond villain yet because that’s money right there.
Laurence MasonThe Crow / @laurencemasonnycAs Tin Tin, Laurence Mason terrifies viewers with his knife-wielding skills and penchant for violence in The Crow. Mason has also quietly established himself as the kind of actor people recognize in other projects but never remember his name off the bat. Some of his best post-Crow roles include his portrayals of Halpern White in The Shield, Sammy Norino in Prison Break, Lord Nikon in Hackers, and Luis Sarria in Ali. Even though he is underrated and not the most famous name from The Crow cast, there’s no disputing he’s let his talent do the talking for him throughout his career.
Michael MasseeThe Crow / InterventionIn the accident that claimed Brandon Lee’s life, it was Michael Massee’s Funboy who fired the prop gun in the scene. While Massee wasn’t at fault for Lee’s death since he only acted under instruction, the event still traumatized him as he took time off from acting and refused to watch The Crow afterward. After a break, the actor returned to the industry and appeared in notable films such as Seven, The Game, and Corky Romano. Massee also featured in acclaimed television series such as 24, Alias, and Rizzoli & Isles. One of the actor’s final roles was in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 where he plays a mysterious character known as the Gentleman, who appears to be responsible for the formation of the Sinister Six (even though that plot point led to absolutely nowhere after the cancelation of the film series). In 2016, Massee died from stomach cancer.
David Patrick KellyThe Crow / John WickApart from Top Dollar, David Patrick Kelly’s sleazy gangbanger T-Bird steals the show in The Crow. Kelly was an accomplished actor and theater performer before appearing in Alex Proyas’ 1994 film, though. He appeared in classic films such as The Warriors and Malcolm X, while also finding time to light up Broadway whenever his schedule allowed for it. After The Crow, Kelly continued to spread himself across film, television, and theater. He’s proven to be quite the chameleon, too, holding the ability to disappear into parts that no one would have imagined, such as the role of the annoying Noah Shapiro in Gossip Girl. More recently, Kelly appeared as Charlie – the murder scene cleaner – in the John Wick films.
Sofia ShinasThe Crow / @sofiashinas_Before landing the role of Shelly Webster in The Crow, Sofia Shinas embarked on a short-lived career as a musician. However, she left the music industry to take on Hollywood, with the part of Shelly being her breakout role in 1994. It opened the right doors for her to appear in the likes of Terminal Velocity and The Outer Limits, but her acting career never exploded from there on out. Even though she directed her feature film debut, My Stepdaughter, in 2015 and appeared in the odd movie here and there, Shinas has largely stayed out of the public eye. Instead, she uses her Instagram account to raise awareness about animal conversation and causes. Now that’s worthy of a follow.
Tony ToddThe Crow / Hellblazers (2022)Tony Todd plays Top Dollar’s bodyguard, Grange, in The Crow. The actor was no stranger to fans when he took on this part as he had blown everyone away as the bee-loving, hook-handed titular character in Candyman two years earlier. Todd’s career never stuttered, especially in the horror genre, as he appeared in everything from Final Destination to Hatchet, with his booming voice becoming a trademark of his characters. In 2023, the stars aligned and the gods of entertainment finally rained down their love on the world when Todd was cast as the voice of Venom in the Spider-Man 2 video game. Cue the Magneto perfection meme.
Sure, we all know the MCU and DCEU, but what about the little-known superhero movies?
When examining the current state of pop culture, it becomes clear that we’re living in a golden age of superhero movies and TV shows–a phenomenon that has defined the entertainment industry since the mid 2000s. With dozens of superhero movies and TV series having come out in recent years, it’s safe to say there’s something out there for everyone in terms of worthwhile superhero-themed content.
For every new addition in the MCU or DCEU, however, there remain numerous entertaining superhero movies that fail to garner the same critical success as their fellow genre entries. From nightmarish dystopian films to gut-wrenching psychological thrillers, here are some of the most underrated superhero films most people have probably failed to see.
Dredd (2012)Entertainment Film DistributorsBefore he was slashing up superheroes in Prime Video’s The Boys, Karl Urban was hard at work at another comic book adaptation with 2012’s Dredd. A loose presentation of 2000 AD’s Judge Dredd comic series, Dredd delivered a far more cynical portrayal of masked vigilantes than any other film of its era, likening itself to a post-apocalyptic Dirty Harry than Superman or Batman. Tense, dark, and nauseatingly violent, Dredd almost assuredly ranks among the finest non-MCU-related superhero movies of the past two decades. Watch Dredd on Peacock.
Unbreakable (2000)Buena VistaA brilliant psychological thriller first and foremost, Unbreakable also acts as an intelligent foray into the superhero genre in and of itself. Years before critics complimented Christopher Nolan for his realistic rendition of Batman in The Dark Knight trilogy, M. Night Shyamalan offered a realistic deconstruction of the traditional superhero archetype with his 2000 masterpiece, Unbreakable. Quite possibly the best movie Shyamalan has ever produced, Unbreakable’s unique take on the superhero genre proved well ahead of its day and age, predating Nolan’s Batman trilogy or the earlier efforts of the MCU. Watch Unbreakable on Max.
Darkman (1990)Universal PicturesHaving failed to gain the rights to either Batman or The Shadow, director Sam Raimi set out to create his own darker superhero film with 1990’s Darkman. Constructing his own comic book mythos from the ground up, Raimi added his own distinct flair to the burgeoning superhero genre, presenting his titular character as more of an anti-hero than a clear-cut hero or villain. Honing his skills ahead of his critically acclaimed Spider-Man trilogy, Raimi set the standard for more mature superhero films in the years ahead with his cult favorite Darkman. Watch Darkman on AMC+.
Sky High (2005)Walt DisneyWhat’s not to love about Sky High, a humorous superhero movie that also manages to double as a first-rate teen comedy? An homage of sorts to the ‘80s films of John Hughes, Sky High uses the superhero vehicle as the basis for its thematic arguments, from its relatable portrayal of high school cliques to the constant feeling of isolation one feels among their fellow classmates. Propelled by its family-friendly humor and massive ensemble cast, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable movie ideal for audiences of every age. Watch Sky High on Disney+.
Watchmen (2009)Warner Bros.Before he laid the foundation to the DC Extended Universe, Zack Snyder set out to adapt the most famous comic book ever created with his 2009 epic, Watchmen. A more-or-less faithful recreation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ immortal classic, Watchmen proved the perfect response to pop culture’s increasing obsession with superhero-related media. Transposing the conventional comic book narrative to the morally ambiguous 1980s, Watchmen posed some hard-edged questions about truth, justice, and morality, making for a headier superhero movie than most other films of its era. Watch Watchmen on Max.
Swamp Thing (1982)United ArtistsA forgotten addition to horror legend Wes Craven’s filmography, Swamp Thing brings DC’s shambling fan-favorite superhero to life on the big screen. Fully embracing its roots as a horror-based project, Swamp Thing made for a mostly satisfying adaptation of Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson’s comic, delivering a lighter, pulpier portrayal of the eponymous vegetable-based creature. Watch Swamp Thing on Prime Video and Tubi.
The Rocketeer (1991)Walt DisneyAs with the original comic book it’s based upon, The Rocketeer serves as an effective love letter to the pulp comic books and adventure serials of the ‘30s and ‘40s. An underrated sci-fi masterpiece that cleverly cobbles together its source material with real-world history (such as the presence of Howard Hughes), The Rocketeer’s sweeping sense of adventure makes for a swashbuckling narrative as light-hearted and fun as Buckaroo Banzai, The Iron Giant, Pirates of the Caribbean, or Indiana Jones. Watch The Rocketeer on Disney+.
If you were set on watching one of these amazing movies, you might want to do it soon. They’re about to leave Netflix on July 31!
If you’re anything like me, you sit on Netflix for so long trying to pick a movie to watch that you wind up with no time left in the night to watch anything. It makes you feel like there’s absolutely nothing to watch even though we all know that’s not true. What better motivator for picking a movie than its imminent demise? Watch these films quick because they’re leaving Netflix at the end of July. I’ve picked out the best of the best to narrow it down even more for you. You’re welcome!
Anaconda (1997)Sony PicturesI once attended a theatrical screening of Anaconda at a small local theater. A commentary team sat below the screen and ripped it to shreds over all the little weird or cringy moments in this 1990s creature feature about a team trying to stop a gigantic murderous snake. And the whole audience had a blast. If that doesn’t make you want to watch this, I don’t know what will. Don’t forget to invite friends.
Fatal Attraction (1987)Paramount PicturesWhen this classic thriller–about a scorned mistress taking her revenge out on the married man she had a brief affair with–first came out, everyone saw Glenn Close as the villain. On a 2024 re-watch, it’s fun to see where your allegiances actually lie. Justice for Glenn Close?
Knocked Up (2007)Universal PicturesKatherine Heigl may have had a notoriously terrible time filming this movie, but we certainly enjoy watching it. This is the film that started Seth Rogen’s decades-long career as a rom-com heartthrob. While so many just didn’t see the appeal back then, many have changed their opinion by now. (And if you haven’t, that just means you haven’t seen Long Shot (2019) yet, which is also on Netflix.)
Resident Evil (2002)Screen GemsBack when almost all video game movies were either bad or so bad they were good, Resident Evil broke the mold. It’s about a zombie outbreak in a science lab, and it’s just plain good. One of the sequels, Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), is also leaving Netflix at the end of the month. Maybe you could have a Resident Evil movie marathon?
Shrek (2001)DreamWorksIt’s the beloved animated classic that seems to become more and more popular with every passing year. It makes sense: The fairy tale reimagining has aged like a fine wine. (Or swamp water?) From the soundtrack to a donkey falling in love with a dragon, it has everything you could ever want. Bring on the nostalgia!
The Matrix (1999)Warner Bros.One of the best sci fi movies ever made, you might feel ever more connected to this movie for how close we are to an eventual AI apocalypse. (And I’m happy to say I used absolute zero AI to write this article. Take that AI overlords.) The entire Matrix film series is on its way off Netflix at the end of July, so here’s another opportunity for a cyberpunk movie marathon.
“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Protagonist versus antagonist. Hero versus villain. It’s a tale as old as time, and the basic schematic of every story. Sometimes, though, clever filmmakers try to subvert expectations to make audiences question everything they have seen or believed up to a point. The quickest and most effective way to elicit an OMG reaction is through a game-changing revelation that the protagonist has been the antagonist all along. Sure, it’s the kind of twist that only hits hard on the first watch, but oh, it’s too juicy to ever forget about thereafter.
With that said, let’s take a look at the films that should have come with a warning for everyone to wear a helmet because the protagonist-antagonist switcheroo blew minds. (Beware: Spoilers ahead.)
Fight Club20th Century FoxIn Fight Club, the unnamed narrator (Edward Norton) lives a pitiful, middle-class existence until he meets the handsome and carefree Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt). He comes alive when they slug it out and turn their back on society’s expectations and norms. It doesn’t take too long for them to attract others into their “fight club” and anti-establishment organization.
However, the narrator grows uneasy as Tyler’s plans get bigger and badder. For example, a key part of his proposed Project Mayhem involves blowing up the headquarters of credit card companies and freeing society from the shackles of debt and the noose of accumulated interest. When the narrator tries to stop Tyler, he comes to the realization that he is Tyler–he created this wild personality as a form of escapism to do and say what his consciousness secretly craved. He is Jack’s fractured psyche.
SaltburnWarner Bros.Look, Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan) comes across as a freak rather fast in Saltburn. For the average viewer, though, they would explain away his behavior as a young man infatuated with Felix Catton (Jacob Elordi) who struggles to deal with his feelings and ability to capture Felix’s full attention. Then, Oliver goes to the Catton family estate, Saltburn, for the summer and he gets treated like an outsider – especially by Felix’s cousin Farleigh Start (Archie Madekwe).
The turning point comes when Oliver’s lies about his family are discovered by Felix, who turns his back on his friend. From there, a series of tragic events occur where Felix and his sister, Venetia (Alison Oliver), die, Farleigh gets cut off from the family, and Oliver gets paid to leave Saltburn. Fast-forward a few years later, Oliver finds himself back at Saltburn at the behest of Felix’s mother, Lady Elspeth (Rosamund Pike). On her deathbed, Oliver reveals himself to be the person who orchestrated everything to take control of Saltburn and the lavish lifestyle he craved. “I hated all of you,” he says. “And you made it so easy. Spoiled dogs sleeping belly-up.”
Gone Girl20th Century FoxIn Gone Girl, Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) disappears and her husband, Nick (Ben Affleck), becomes the prime suspect. Through Amy’s journal entries, the audience learns more about Amy and Nick’s shaky relationship and how they reached a point of no return. Amy reveals what led them to grow apart and the pressures they experienced as both individuals and as a couple, culminating with Nick starting an affair with his student.
Throughout the film, Nick proclaims his innocence, despite the mounting evidence against him and his occasional bend of the truth. Is Nick a rotten husband? Sure. But is he a murderer? That remains unclear… until Amy is revealed to be alive and well. After discovering Nick’s affair, she planned to frame him for her murder to teach him the ultimate lesson. Her revenge tour might not have gone off as she initially expected, but she still comes out looking like the hero in the end and having Nick right under her thumb.
JokerWarner Bros.To be fair, anyone familiar with the Batman mythos should not have gone into this expecting Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) to turn into Gandhi in Joker–since he is DC’s residential homicidal clown. However, Todd Phillips’ film does a good job of portraying Arthur as a downtrodden and vulnerable member of society. He dreams of becoming a celebrated comedian and appearing on Murray Franklin’s (Robert De Niro) talk show. At the same time, he starts a relationship with his neighbor Sophie Dumond (Zazie Beetz), while believing he discovered the identity of his real father, Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen).
This all changes when Thomas reveals to Arthur that he isn’t his father and Penny (Frances Conroy) adopted him. From there, Arthur snaps–killing his mother, murdering Murray on his own talk show, and inciting violence in Gotham City. Not exactly a heroic reaction to bad news, is it? Also, it’s revealed that Arthur never had a relationship with Sophie to begin with–it was all a figment of his imagination. One has to wonder how much more of Arthur’s sympathetic story was all in his head and not an accurate representation of the real events.
The ShiningWarner Bros.Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) and his family live the dream, as they move into the Overlook Hotel during the winter season. Remote and devoid of any other human beings around them, this is the equivalent of Heaven on Earth for every introvert as they have this giant place all to themselves. However, Jack starts to experience severe writer’s block in this time, which understandably makes him a little crabby to be around.
Unfortunately, the general crabbiness soon turns into a murderous streak as the hotel’s ghosts – literally and figuratively – take over Jack. Stuck in the middle of nowhere and terrified of all the strange happenings, his family runs away from the possessed Jack as he tries to kill his wife, Wendy (Shelley Duvall), and son, Danny (Danny Lloyd). Ultimately, Jack meets an icy end by freezing to death in the outside maze after his son tricks him. But what’s the moral of the story here? Don’t let writer’s block turn you to the dark side.
Every year, a new crop of TV shows shuffles off this mortal coil and slips away into streaming heaven, doomed to buffer forever. Sometimes we prepare for their deaths; other times, the shows die in shocking fashion. (Especially if they’re on Netflix.) In any case, there are hundreds of series that fans wish would earn a reboot or a final season, if anything just to wrap things up. To that end, here are some all-timers that we wish would grace our screens again. And don’t get salty if we miss your fave: There’s only so much room in one article.
The GreatHuluHow dare they cancel this after three seasons (“they” being Hulu)? This satirical sendup of Catherine the Great’s reign was already firing on all cylinders when it entered Season 3 in 2023, but it somehow surpassed itself. By killing off one of its main characters, the expletive-laden show sent the Russian monarchy into a spiral of madness, inspiring an awe-inspiring performance from Elle Fanning. Then, the meme-able ending, which weirdly predicted the meme-able ending of Saltburn, left several plot threads hanging.
GLOWNetflixFans were infuriated when Netflix canceled this 1980s-set series about the world of women’s wrestling, citing Covid-19 lockdowns as a pretext. Alison Brie and Betty Gilpin were unforgettable in their roles, bringing nuance to a story that was already a layered take on modern feminism. On top of that, the show was just fun, with a rich tapestry of supporting characters coloring its world. At least we can be glad it launched Gilpin’s career and allowed her to make Peacock’s one-of-a-kind Mrs. Davis.
Shadow and BoneAnother recent casualty of Netflix’s cruelty. Despite its vocal, active fanbase, this series – based on the Grishaverse by Leigh Bardugo – lasted only two seasons. Not only did this frothy, intricate fantasy series end on a maddening cliffhanger, but it never had a chance to develop its fan-favorite queer romance that had just started to blossom.
Happy EndingsABCThis show is hard to explain because its elevator pitch – Friends but make it Chicago – doesn’t exactly inspire FOMO. But the jokes came a mile a minute on this show, with the bonus that they preserved a window into mid-aughts popular culture. Plus, the show nearly revolutionized pop culture depictions of queer people, blessing viewers with loveable gay Max, who was a slob with a beer belly. You must remember that, at this time, most gay characters on TV were in the Jack McFarland vein. In any case, Happy Endings did not live up to its title, and it faded away after three seasons.
One of Us is LyingPeacockOK, we didn’t say that all these shows were Emmy-worthy. Instead, Peacock’s One of Us is Lying was just solid popcorn entertainment with intriguing mysteries and hot main characters. But it departed us in 2022 after only two seasons, leaving a maddening “To Be Continued…” that will haunt viewers for the rest of time.
RebootHuluHow ironic that we’re clamoring for a show called Reboot to get another season. But we promise that we’re not just doing this for the meta of it all. Reboot, which ran for only one season in 2022, earned two Critics’ Choice nominations, including one for Best Comedy Series – and for good reason. This show was consistently hilarious in its skewering of Hollywood, remakes, and, well, reboots, and it inexplicably starred both Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Johnny Knoxville of Jackass. You rooted for the writers and actors on the show’s fictional rebooted sitcom, even as they faced impossible circumstances, and its premature cancellation implied that Hulu never gave it a good chance to begin with.
A Black Lady Sketch ShowHBOWe should probably just be grateful that we got four seasons of this show, for in that time, BLSS blessed us with sketches about not only black hair and Hoteps, but Jesus, the apocalypse, and Patti LaBelle. But that didn’t make the news of this show’s cancellation any more palatable. Courtroom Kiki and Bad Bitch Support Group (starring Angela Bassett!!) are absolute classics of televisual cinema.
Admit it: Even some of your favorite TV shows overstayed their welcome.
From the moment a TV show captures our hearts, it’s like we’ve found a new best friend. But when they run past their prime, they can begin to feel like a guest who’s overstayed their welcome. Here are eight beloved TV shows that may have stuck around a little too long.
The Office NBC / Universal TelevisionThe Office is undeniably one of the most beloved and iconic shows in TV history. Known for its unique blend of workplace humor and endearing characters, the mockumentary-style series left an indelible mark on pop culture and earned a dedicated fanbase.
However, even amidst its acclaim and popularity, some The Office fans and critics believe that the show’s quality declined in the final two seasons. Steve Carell’s departure in Season 7 was a clear sign that it should have concluded sooner.
Carell’s final season could have served as a fitting and emotionally resonant conclusion, allowing the characters and their stories to reach a satisfying endpoint. The subsequent seasons, while still entertaining, often struggled to capture the magic of the earlier ones because of Carell’s absence. And they contributed to the perception that the show was dragging on beyond its prime.
How I Met Your MotherCBS / 20th Century Fox TelevisionHow I Met Your Mother began with an intriguing premise: a father narrating the story of how he met his children’s mother, set against a backdrop of friendship, love, and the ups and downs of a group of friends in New York City. The show’s unique format drew in viewers and kept them guessing about the mother’s identity for years.
However, as the series progressed over its nine-season run, its storytelling began to lose steam. The constant delays and red herrings in revealing the mother’s identity left some fans feeling frustrated and led to a sense of narrative fatigue. The charming characters and witty humor became overshadowed by increasingly convoluted plotlines and character arcs. The story could have been told more succinctly and effectively.
The series finale aimed for a bittersweet twist, wrapping up the central love story in a way that felt unsatisfying and out of touch with the characters’ development. It left many fans disappointed and even betrayed. In hindsight, How I Met Your Mother could have concluded more neatly and effectively after its sixth season, allowing for a satisfying resolution of the central mystery, rather than prolonging the story. This might have preserved the show’s legacy as a beloved sitcom and saved it from such a divisive ending.
GleeFoxGlee had a unique charm and energy, combining meta-humor, heartfelt storytelling, and outstanding musical performances. During its time on air, it received critical acclaim and garnered a dedicated fanbase.
But Glee took a turn after Season 3 with a decline that was largely attributed to cast changes in the series. The main characters, who had become beloved fixtures in the show’s universe, graduated from high school, leaving behind a void that the new, less intriguing characters couldn’t fill. Viewers found it challenging to invest in these newcomers as they lacked the depth and chemistry of the original cast.
As the series carried on, some of the original characters underwent noticeable transformations, often for the worse. They seemed to devolve into caricatures of their former selves, losing the complexity and relatability that had made them so endearing in the earlier seasons.to keep the story going, character growth was sacrificed for increasingly implausible plotlines. What was once a compelling exploration of teenage life, complete with genuine struggles and triumphs, devolved into melodrama and exaggerated antics.
DexterShowtime NetworksDexter is a prime example of a show that overstayed its welcome. After reaching its peak with the masterful Season 4, which featured the iconic Trinity Killer, the series began a gradual descent into mediocrity. The subsequent seasons failed to capture the same level of suspense, tension, and character development that made Dexter an addictive thriller. The show’s formula, where Dexter remains close to getting caught but somehow eludes capture each season, grew tired and repetitive. Fans felt that the show had exhausted its potential, and the decline in quality became evident as it stretched beyond what was necessary.
Season 8, in particular, left a sour taste in the mouths of both critics and loyal viewers. It was widely panned for its lackluster storytelling, unconvincing character arcs, and the feeling that it was a mere shadow of what the series once was. The finale, which aimed for a shocking and thought-provoking conclusion, instead left many fans scratching their heads. Dexter’s abrupt decision to become a lumberjack and leave his son behind was a bewildering choice that still confuses fans to this day.
The X-FilesFoxThe X-Files was undoubtedly a phenomenon when it first hit the airwaves, captivating audiences with its blend of supernatural mysteries and government conspiracies. It introduced iconic characters in Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, and the “monster-of-the-week” format made it both engaging and accessible.
However, as the series progressed, it grappled with an increasingly complex mythology that grew more convoluted with each passing season. While the overarching storyline initially held great intrigue, it eventually became a source of confusion and frustration for viewers, as the plotlines became tangled and seemingly endless. The show’s shift from standalone episodes to a deeper exploration of the alien conspiracy made it difficult for casual viewers to follow, causing many to lose interest.
Despite its initial popularity, The X-Files also faced declining ratings as it pushed into its later seasons. The appeal of the original premise began to wane, and even dedicated fans grew weary of the increasingly far-fetched plot twists and the lack of resolution to key storylines. The decision to continue the series through nine seasons and into two feature films felt like an unnecessary extension of a story that had lost its grip on its audience. In hindsight, it might have been more prudent for The X-Files to wrap up sooner, potentially preserving its legacy as a groundbreaking cult series without diluting its impact with seasons that struggled to recapture its former glory.
HouseFOX / Universal TelevisionHouse was a medical drama that had an impressive start, wowing viewers with its brilliant but cantankerous titular character, Dr. Gregory House, and the intricate cases he tackled. However, as the show moved forward through its eight seasons, it couldn’t escape the trap of formulaic medical cases that often strained credulity. The diagnostic puzzles became increasingly convoluted, pushing the boundaries of realism and leaving many viewers skeptical of the show’s commitment to medical accuracy. The relentless focus on House’s unorthodox methods and unexplained cases occasionally left viewers with an unsatisfying feeling of deus ex machina, as the solutions to the medical mysteries often seemed more like magic tricks than sound medicine.
In addition to the implausible medical cases, House grappled with repetitive storylines, particularly in the relationships among its central characters. The ongoing tension between House and his colleagues and the cycle of trust, betrayal, and redemption became tiresome. Furthermore, the romantic entanglements and personal struggles grew repetitive, making it challenging for the series to maintain the same level of engagement and novelty it had in its earlier seasons. The last few seasons of the show felt like they were merely treading water, as the storylines and character dynamics failed to evolve in meaningful ways.
The SimpsonsFoxThe Simpsons is an enduring cultural phenomenon, having entertained audiences for over 30 seasons with its satirical humor and memorable characters. However, its longevity has led to a common sentiment among fans and critics that the show has ventured far past its prime. While still popular, it’s often seen as a shadow of its earlier brilliance. Many argue that the series should have concluded in the late ’90s or early 2000s to preserve its legacy as a groundbreaking and razor-sharp social commentary.
In its earlier seasons, The Simpsons was celebrated for its witty, irreverent humor and its poignant observations on American society. The show’s social commentary was often ahead of its time, making it both funny and thought-provoking. However, as it continued, the writing lost some of its edge with some episodes feeling formulaic. While it’s still loved by many, the general consensus is that concluding the series earlier would have solidified its status as one of the greatest animated sitcoms of all time, rather than risking its legacy with a seemingly unending run.
Grey’s AnatomyABC / Lionsgate TelevisionGrey’s Anatomy is a show that has left a profound mark on the world of medical dramas, but it’s also a prime example of a series that went on for far longer than many expected. After the departures of key characters like Dr. Cristina Yang and Dr. Derek Shepherd, the show’s dynamics shifted Many viewers felt that it had lost its core identity and the sense of camaraderie among the original cast members. The subsequent seasons have been criticized for introducing new characters without the same depth and charisma, making it hard for fans to invest in their stories.
The show’s continued longevity is often attributed to profitability rather than a wellspring of fresh creative energy. While Grey’s Anatomy still maintains a loyal viewership, it has felt like an exercise in extending a successful brand rather than a reflection of a compelling and evolving narrative.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy reveals the four behaviors psychopaths engage in when in romantic relationships that give them away.
Display an unsettling cruelty that is unprovoked and sadistic.In numerous studies, people with a higher level of psychopathic traits display a reduced aversiveness to negative or fear-based images and stimuli. According to other research, they also show more activation in parts of the brain related to empathy for themselves when imagining themselves experiencing pain and show little activation in parts of the brain indicating empathy for others when envisioning other people enduring painful scenarios. Psychopathic people also display activation in parts of the brain related to reward when envisioning other people in pain, and psychologists suggest this may be an indication that they gain sadistic pleasure from inflicting pain on others. This can play out in different ways during the relationship. Sometimes a psychopathic partner can issue cruel, degrading insults that have nothing to do with the true nature of the person they’re in a relationship with. For example, they may tell their supermodel wife that she is gaining weight to instill insecurity and ensure she doesn’t look elsewhere for a better partner or tell their successful lawyer husband that they’re a “loser” to incentivize him to bring in more profits to leech off of. This acts as a way to maintain power and control over their partner while also belittling their partners for their own enjoyment.
Devaluing and discarding their partners for a new target with little conscience.People in romantic relationships with psychopaths note an unsettling brazenness and lack of remorse with which psychopaths operate when they pursue other partners outside of their main relationship. This may in part be due to the way their brain operates differently when it comes to seeking out dopamine and novelty, their propensity for boredom and sensation-seeking, as they often dispose of their partners callously in the rush of a new pursuit of a new victim they can love bomb. They also lack emotional permanence and relational object constancy — in laymen’s terms, for them, “out of sight” is truly out of mind. If you’re not the current target of their latest fixation, you may as well disappear into the wallpaper, even if they love bombed and obsessed over you ardently in the beginning for months or even years.
Creating imaginary problems or manufacturing flaws that don’t exist in their partners to violate and disorient them.In alignment with their sadism, psychopathic partners might even manufacture a problem that doesn’t exist (as confirmed by other people in their life) in their dating partners to destabilize them or instill insecurity especially if they sense these dating partners are out of their league. Survivors of psychopaths and narcissists have told me they’ve been accused of everything from snoring when they don’t, to mispronouncing words they pronounced correctly, or even having some kind of facial flaw or imaginary body odor they don’t have to make them feel undesirable, especially if they were considered more attractive and desirable than their psychopathic partners in society.
Pitting people against one another and trying to provoke jealousy on purpose.Psychopaths as well as narcissists deliberately provoke jealousy on purpose for a few different reasons: to gain power and control, exact revenge, and test the relationship. In some cases, they can also do so to compensate for insecurity, but that is moreso the case with the secondary subtype of psychopathy (which is more of an impulsive, insecure, hot-headed subtype than the more “cool headed” confident and grandiose primary psychopath). That is why you might have a psychopath who flaunts taking a new partner on the same dates or vacations they took you on or promised to take you on, or rudely talks about who they’re attracted to in front of you with much audacity and enthusiasm. For most empathic people, this would be outrageous behavior. For psychopaths, this is their default way of being.
With the success of Twisters, many of us are hankering for more. These disaster movies may just fill that void.
Deep down, we all have a fear of natural disasters overtaking us, triggering a primal fear we share about being placed at our environment’s mercy. Sure, we can feebly defend ourselves from a shambling zombie, a lecherous vampire, or a rampaging werewolf – but there are only so many ways to protect oneself from a tornado, a blizzard, or a tsunami sweeping across a densely populated shoreline.
With the blockbuster sensation Twisters recently debuting in theaters nationwide, we decided to take a look back at some of the best and most harrowing disaster films in cinematic history – each of which we’d highly recommend watching after seeing Twisters in theaters.
Titanic (1997)20th Century FoxTitanic is many different things to many different people. While some view it as a melodramatic romance film in the same mold as The Notebook, others view it as a sobering illustration of the R.M.S. Titanic’s ill-fated maiden voyage across the Atlantic. A mammoth-sized epic from visionary director James Cameron, Titanic might be a bit over-the-top for some, but there’s no question the film accurately captures the terrifying reality behind the vessel’s tragic demise (along the 1,500 poor souls who went down with the ship). Watch Titanic on Paramount+ and AMC+.
The Impossible (2012)Warner Bros.In late 2004, the coasts of the Indian Ocean suffered a massive tsunami that ravaged 14 countries and claimed the lives of over 227,000 people. Chronicling the devastating effect the tsunami had on the shores of Thailand, The Impossible also traces the heartrending attempts of a vacationing American family to reunite with one another in the days that followed the wave’s impact. Quite possibly the most realistic disaster film the world has seen yet, The Impossible never shies away from portraying the immediate aftermath of the tsunami, complete with scores of displaced people searching for refuge and safety in the flooded streets. Watch The Impossible on Paramount+ with Showtime.
The Towering Inferno (1974)20th Century FoxWhile there had been a few disaster films before The Towering Inferno, few films helped popularize the genre to the same extent as this 1974 cult classic. Combining a renowned ensemble cast with a fast-paced plotline, The Towering Inferno pitted some of Hollywood’s most well-known faces against a raging fire engulfing a San Francisco high rise building. With a cast that includes Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, William Holden, Faye Dunaway, and Fred Astaire, The Towering Inferno might just be the most star-studded disaster films the entertainment industry has yet to produce. Watch The Towering Inferno on Amazon Video.
The Poseidon Adventure (1972)20th Century FoxAlong with The Towering Inferno, 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure helped propel the disaster genre to sensational new heights, ushering in the genre’s peak popularity throughout the remainder of the decade. A high-concept thriller involving a luxury cruise ship flipped upside down by a hulking tidal wave, The Poseidon Adventure might be a bit over-the-top in some places, but it never ceases to amaze, terrify, and thoroughly captivate viewers throughout its two-hour runtime. Watch The Poseidon Adventure on Starz.
Twister (1996)Warner Bros.Unsurprisingly, perhaps the best film to watch after Twisters is the original entry in the franchise: the 1996 disaster movie, Twister. Propelled by the powerhouse performances of Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt, Twister manages to accurately capture the humbling nature of the Midwest’s storm season, filled with devastating tornadoes left and right. Though it might prioritize atmospheric special effects over fluid characterization, Twister remains every bit as entertaining now as it did almost 30 years since its initial release. Watch Twister on Max.
Contagion (2011)Warner Bros.Nowadays, it’s impossible to watch 2011’s Contagion without relating it to the 2020 pandemic we all experienced a few short years ago. Rather than this casting a pall on the entire movie, Contagion only seems to have grown more relevant and relatable in the decade since its release. As timely now as it ever will be, audience members are sure to think twice the next time they venture out in public without donning a surgical mask or properly sanitizing their hands. Watch Contagion on Amazon Video.
Greenland (2020)STXFilmsFor all its overarching ridiculousness, there’s something profoundly moving about the 2020 disaster film, Greenland. Faced with the looming threat of total planetary destruction from an incoming comet, Greenland highlights the tenuous laws that bind human civilization together (as well as showing how easily undone those integral societal bonds are). As much a thrilling survival film as it is a disaster movie, Greenland continually emphasizes the opposing aspects of human nature, regularly showing humanity at its worst as well as at its best. Watch Greenland on Max.
All hail the Merc with the Mouth and Logan for bringing back the glory days of comic book movies. Here’s our spoiler-free review of Deadpool & Wolverine.
It’s an open secret that the Marvel Cinematic Universe – and comic book movies as a whole – hasn’t been in the best place after Avengers: Endgame, so there’s a lot riding on Deadpool & Wolverine to change fortunes. The fate of the genre depends on the Merc with the Mouth and his grizzly, angry friend convincing the audience that there’s still some life left in these marvelous movies about powered people and superhero fatigue is only temporary. Anything less and the golden age of Madea movies will be ready to be unleashed on the world…
The trailers and promotional material for Deadpool & Wolverine show immense promise, but the question remains: Does the film actually deliver on its potential or is it a chuckle-bust? Well, comic book movie aficionados, it’s time to rise and shine from the doom and gloom of the past five years, because we’re so back, baby!
Deadpool & Wolverine likes to push it, push itIf Deadpool & Wolverine had been treated like any ordinary MCU film, it would have flopped harder than a host’s joke at the Oscars. It needed to embrace the sheer insanity of Ryan Reynolds’ Wade Wilson and the R-rated raunchiness of the previous films to connect with the audience. Fortunately, director Shawn Levy received carte blanche to go exploding balls to the wall and push every possible boundary – even more than the first two Deadpool movies.
Not only do the characters take shots at the multiverse and tease a homoerotic dynamic between the leads, but the film also goes extra meta into the actual actors’ lives, such as Hugh Jackman’s divorce, and throws shade at everyone from Will Smith to Warner Bros. Discovery. It’s very much one of those “if you know, you know” situations; however, it’s remarkable how Marvel Studios forgoed its cookie-cutter, safer-than-a-blunt-scissors approach to allow this movie to play outside of the sandbox. There are no sacred cows, and everyone’s fair game – including Marvel Studios, as Deadpool pokes and jabs at the MCU’s stale post-Endgame output.
The action matches the dialogue’s radical style, too. Both Wolverine and Deadpool leave a bloody mess throughout the film’s 128-minute runtime, as they carve up enemies and even use an adamantium skeleton to do maximum damage. The level of bone breaks and blood spills wouldn’t look out of place in a musclebound action flick where guts and glory are valued higher than Rotten Tomatoes scores, and it’s entirely welcome here. Plus, the major cameos receive a chance to strut their stuff in this symphony of destruction as well.
Nostalgia done rightIn the lead-up to Deadpool & Wolverine, much talk centered around how this would be the final nail in the coffin of Fox’s Marvel Universe. It’s a multiversal adventure where Wade Wilson and Logan would bid goodbye and good riddance to an era that delivered some of the worst superhero films such as 2015’s Fantastic Four and 2005’s Elektra. Essentially, it would wipe clean the slate, opening the door for the MCU to right the wrongs and create its own history.
That’s the furthest thing that Deadpool & Wolverine does. Instead, it acknowledges and embraces the influence of the major Marvel movies from yesteryear. Yes, it doesn’t fool around and pretend like everything was an unbridled success, but it respects the love and passion that went into these projects, even when they missed the mark. The film understands how these characters and ideas delighted viewers around the world, and how they hold special places in everyone’s heart. This isn’t about dancing on their graves; it’s a total tribute to the magic created.
Apart from Spider-Man: No Way Home, other multiversal productions fail to properly utilize the characters at their disposal – bar a quick Easter egg or nod and wink at the audience. The same can’t be said about Deadpool & Wolverine, as it’s clear the filmmakers scoured the internet to listen to what the fans wanted to see. In the end, it delivers timeless blockbuster moments, à la the Avengers assembling for the first time or Cap lifting Mjølnir. The audience experience is everything as Deadpool & Wolverine elevates fan service to an euphoric point.
There’s only one Wolverine and Hugh Jackman must stick around for goodFor those who feared Deadpool & Wolverine would destroy the legacy and epic conclusion of James Mangold’s Logan, rest assured that this film treats it with the reverence and respect it deserves. Simultaneously, it creates a new problem for the MCU: There’s no way anyone will accept another actor except Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Even though a fan-favorite actor appears as a Logan variant, facts are facts: Jackman is the Wolverine and no one else is fit to shine his claws or chew his cigar.
Like any good buddy comedy, Jackman and Reynolds carry the movie through their insatiable chemistry and quickfire wit, but there’s no disputing that Jackman’s Logan serves as the emotional anchor of the film. He captures the spirit of this character who has seen too much in his life, experiences shame, and never feels worthy enough to be called a hero, but as Dafne Keen’s X-23 tells him: “You were always the wrong guy till you weren’t.” Jackman gets this aspect of Logan, and everyone sees it, since it’s impossible to miss.
Whether it’s returning for Avengers: Secret Wars, teaming up with Deadpool down the line again, or joining the MCU’s X-Men, Marvel Studios needs to keep Jackman around and never let him go again. Kevin Feige and collaborators must know it too. Jackman is a man who has played an iconic comic book character for a quarter of a century and will now also be partially responsible for the genre’s renaissance in 2024.
Undoubtedly, Deadpool & Wolverine is now the blueprint for the future of comic book movies, and if the MCU keeps up this energy – folks, we’re eating good.
Though The Lost Boys came out over 35 years ago, there’s still a very active fanbase of horror lovers who keep this vampire classic at the tops of their must-watch lists. And rightfully so! Few vampires are as badass as David and the rest of his gang of 80’s glam rock wannabe blood-suckers. Even with all the re-watching fans have been doing for decades, they’ve still found a Mandela Effect in one of The Lost Boys‘ most iconic scenes: When Michael eats Chinese food with David and the gang. Are you remembering this scene all wrong, too?
A Mandela Effect is when a large group of people misremember something. They swear they saw something or heard something, yet all proof says otherwise. Many believe this is a sign of an alternate universe. So, is there a sign of an alternate universe in The Lost Boys? Let’s see: How do you remember the scene when David offers some Chinese food to Michael?
Worms or Maggots?Warner Bros.Ask a bunch of horror fans and they’ll say that the scene goes a little something like this: David hands Michael a to-go box of noodles. Michael tucks in, munching on the Americanized Chinese delicacy. Mid-munch, David asks, “How do you like your worms, Michael?” When Michael asks “What?” in confusion, David responds, “Worms. You’re eating worms.” Michael looks down to find a fistful of worms writhing in his to-go box.
Is that how you remember the scene? Congratulations; you’re remembering it wrong.
Michael never eats worms, or noodles that have been vampire-magicked into looking like worms. In the scene you’ll find in any copy or version of The Lost Boys, this scene plays out with a to-go box of rice that turns into maggots. Yep. Maggots, not worms.
Truly, a lot of people have fallen for this Mandela Effect. Like this person:
I asked my friend, who also loves The Lost Boys. “Hey, in Lost Boys, you know the joke about the worms in Chinese food?” He looks at me, and without even missing a beat, says in the same tone and inflection I vividly remember, “How do you like your worms Michael?” I told him I thought that was it, and explained everything I just did to you. He said I was full of it and looked it up. He was as shocked as me. He called a friend of his who he said that was his all time favorite movie. Same thing. u/themoviehero
So why is everyone remembering it wrong? Let’s figure this out.
A Case for MaggotsFirst of all, there are worms in this scene. After Michael thinks he eats maggots, David then offers him a container of noodles. When Michael looks at the noodles, he sees worms. He mentions this to David, but David–not Michael–munches on the noodles, showing him they aren’t worms. Michael never even holds that container, but it could be a good reason why some people are mixed up. They saw the full scene and assumed it was the worms Michael ate, and not the maggots.
Of course, the people who believe in this Mandela Effect insist there were never maggots in that scene to begin with. Weird, right?
Here’s another interesting tidbit. Have you seen the movie What We Do in the Shadows? It looks like the writers might have been a victim of this Mandela Effect as well. Check out a scene from the movie below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=TAnWmVmDYG8
“We stole that idea from The Lost Boys,” says Deacon after convincing Nick that his “buhsghetti” is worms.
If you’re still unsure of what you really saw in the original The Lost Boys, here’s the iconic scene for proof. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A80j2BuMaU
You can also watch the whole thing on Amazon Video.
We all have our favorite SNL characters. Is your favorite on our list?
As one of the longest-running sketch comedy series of all time, Saturday Night Live has given an endearing platform to some of the greatest comedians of the 20th and 21st centuries. As integral as the cast members were in guaranteeing SNL’s continued success over the past five decades, viewers shouldn’t overlook the importance of the series’ recurring lineup of characters as well.
Tailoring each of their quirky characters to the sensibilities of their cast members, these SNL characters achieved sensational popularity among mainstream audiences the moment they debuted on television. Achieving breakout success in the larger pop culture landscape, these characters continue to define SNL years later, whether discussing hyper-competitive Austrian bodybuilders or overly caffeinated motivational speakers.
StefonIt’s difficult to think of an SNL character whose fame surpasses Stefon. The eccentric city-life correspondent on “Weekend Update,” Stefon shined a light on some of the hottest pop-up night clubs in New York, each more bizarre and disturbing than the last. Between the hilarious scripts provided by John Mulaney and Bill Hader’s constant struggle to keep a straight face, everything about Stefon worked well, allowing for a standout character fans instantly adored.
Wayne Campbell and Garth AlgarBased out of a suburban basement in their parents’ house, Wayne Campbell and Garth Aglar served as the resident metalheads of Aurora, Illinois. The enthusiastic co-hosts of the regional talk show “Wayne’s World,” Wayne and Garth took their love of the music industry very seriously, inviting all kinds of special guests onto their program to discuss their shared appreciation for all things music-related. For proof of their popularity, just look at the number of inventive catchphrases the duo have introduced to pop culture, including “schwing,” “extreme close-up,” and, of course, “Rock on, Wayne.”
Matt FoleyAn easily excitable motivational speaker prone to screaming his heart-to-heart speeches, Matt Foley’s hot-tempered attitude made him the exact opposite of an effective public speaker. Delivering his lines with the explosive veracity of a WWE wrestler, Matt Foley’s scared-straight tactics seemed like a less-than-subtle cry for help, complete with Foley solemnly warning his clients about one day “living in a van down by the river” should they continue down the road they’re currently on.
The Church LadyThe passive aggressive host of “Church Chat,” The Church Lady wielded verbal takedowns with the brilliance and grace of an insult comic, leading her to put-down each and every one of the guests she invited on her show. Despite her seemingly mild-mannered personality, The Church Lady proved herself anything but, with Dana Carvey’s matronly TV host unleashing her barbed tongue the moment she appeared on-screen. From insulting Madonna to physically punishing Rob Lowe, no one was safe from The Church Lady’s wrath whenever the opening credits to “Church Chat” began to roll.
Mister RobinsonA twisted caricature of the neighborly Mister Rogers, Eddie Murphy’s “Mister Robinson’s Neighborhood” invited audiences into the dilapidated apartment of Mister Robinson–an unemployed city resident struggling to eke out a living for himself. Speaking in a hushed voice and directly addressing the viewers at home, Mister Robinson’s gentle manner dramatically clashed with his abrupt fits of anger–allowing for plenty of laugh-out-loud moments when audiences least expected it.
Debbie DownerThe personification of a glass half empty kind of gal, Debbie Downer managed to find the downside to every situation, no matter how seemingly enjoyable they were on the surface. From ruining a Walt Disney World vacation to undermining a home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner, Debbie’s unwavering pessimism and depressing factoids could suck the fun out of any scenario, often resulting in some truly hilarious skits and segments.
Hans and FranzThe beefy co-hosts of “Pumping Up with Hans and Franz,” Hans and Franz directly parodied Austria’s famous bodybuilder-turned-actor Arnold Schwarzenegger (a celebrity who even appeared in one of the duo’s sketches). Obsessed with their physical appearance and constantly trying to “pump up” the average viewer, Hans and Franz’s commitment to exercise, nutrition, and physical fitness knew no bounds.
The Merc with a Mouth prattles on about a lot of nonsense, but there’s value in many of Deadpool’s lessons. Time for some of Wade Wilson’s wisdom!
Let’s rejoice for Deadpool & Wolverine aims to save the summer box office and delight the fans around the world, bub. Combining high-octane action, multiversal shenanigans, side-splitting comedy, and two real-life BFFs – Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman – as the iconic superheroes, the Shawn Levy-directed film holds the necessary ingredients to become an instant classic. More importantly, it brings Deadpool back to the screen after six lonely years in the wilderness.
Now, it’s as good a time as any to look back at the Merc with the Mouth and all that he’s taught us about life and love. Ready? Good. Grab the chimichangas and apply maximum effort in reading on.
There’s a second chance for a first impressionWade Wilson’s first venture into the live-action realm came in the ghastly form of 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It wasn’t the most solid introduction, as the usual life of the party had his lips stitched up and he featured in arguably one of the worst X-Men movies ever made. He didn’t beat himself up about it, though; instead, he tried again in 2016 with his own solo film that righted the wrongs from before. Deadpool didn’t ignore the elephant in the room either, embracing the mistakes made in the past and having a laugh at them through self-deprecation. It goes to show how second chances are entirely possible – just as long as everyone acknowledges the first meeting wasn’t all it was cut out to be.
Live. Laugh. LoveOh, hey, it’s that annoying motivational quote that causes everyone to hurl when they walk into a home and see it sprawled on the wall, but you know what? It’s right. Look at Wade Wilson as a prime example. He lives (wildly), laughs (wildly), and loves (even more wildly), and he seems to be doing a-okay in life. For real. Deadpool understands that he isn’t getting out of life alive in the end (a healing factor helps a little, though), so he makes the most of his time on Earth to have a hyuck hyuck with those who matter to him and savor every moment together. It’s like they’re on a spiraling rollercoaster ride without seatbelts. Wee!
Be kind to your taxi driver20th Century FoxKindness goes a long way – especially if someone’s in a pickle and needs a getaway driver to keep hush-hush about what they just witnessed. Case in point: Deadpool’s trustworthy and reliable taxi driver, Dopinder. The Merc with a Mouth makes an effort to befriend and find out more about Dopinder, including the juicy details about his love life. Resultantly, Dopinder never lets him down, even when thugs shoot at and shake their fists at Mr. Pool in anger. Be genuine and give your taxi driver a generous tip and five stars – and they’ll be loyal forever.
Those who love you will accept you no matter whatAfter Deadpool accepts the experimental treatment for his cancer, he’s left heavily scarred. The changes to his physical appearance cause him great shame, and he doesn’t want to show himself to his girlfriend, Vanessa Carlyle, in fear that she’ll pull a runner on him. When he eventually shows himself to her again, she doesn’t reject him. Why? Because she adores him, duh. It’s yet another reminder of how we are often our biggest critics and enemies, while those who love and care for us will open their arms out wide – even if someone runs around in a red suit and wields swords.
Adventures are better with friendsSure, Batman likes to break bones and smash faces by himself under the pale moonlight of Gotham City, but he’s also about as pleasant as a root canal, so there’s that. Because who wouldn’t want to take down a bunch of supervillains with friends instead of doing it by themselves?! It’s much more fun and allows for proper bonding, as everyone gets to put their special powers into practice and encourages exciting moves only seen in comic books or video games. Deadpool learns all about this in his movies, as his team-ups with the likes of the X-Men, Dopinder, Cable, and Wolverine result in a better time where cherished memories are made.
New friend groups don’t necessarily mean better friendsWhile there might be a temptation to hang out with a new group of friends, it isn’t all it’s made out to be. Take Deadpool 2 for instance. Instead of calling the X-Men for assistance when he decides to break out Russell Collins and to fight off Cable, he assembles a new team of heroes called X-Force. Well, they last about as long as a beloved show on Netflix – with them dying in brutal fashion before the battle even kicks off. Learn from Deadpool’s mistake here: Make the friendship circle bigger by all means, but don’t try to create multiple circles in the same place. Eventually, it becomes a crop circle and completely alien to everyone.
Meet your heroesWalt DisneyFrom Deadpool to Deadpool & Wolverine, there’s one constant: The Merc with a Mouth loves Wolverine. And why shouldn’t he? He’s like every other person on Earth as Logan continues to be one of the most popular X-Men characters around. Technically, the first time they met was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which probably doesn’t even exist in canon anymore due to the changes made by subsequent films. So, for the sake of simplicity, let’s consider their real first encounter to be Deadpool & Wolverine. It’s clear that Logan looks annoyed by the sight of Wade Wilson and his insistent prattling; however, this doesn’t perturb Deadpool, who manages to sucker Wolvie into helping him on his adventure. By hook or crook, Deadpool meets his hero, Wolverine, and they become besties as Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” blares in the trailer. Who says this can’t happen for you and your idol, too?
These TV villains are so sinister, you’ll be surprised you love them. Is your favorite on the list?
TV shows need many positive attributes to rope viewers in on a weekly basis. In addition to sharp writing and a strong narrative premise, most shows also require a formidable villain–an antagonist meant to threaten, undermine, and generally sew chaos in the context of their series’ fictitious universe. To be sure, countless TV series have introduced certain memorable villains over the years, but only a select few antagonists have maintained audiences’ interests from one season to the next. From psychopathic hitmen roaming the Midwest to despotic child-kings ruling over fractured fantasy kingdoms, here are some of the greatest villains in television history.
Gus Fring (Breaking Bad)AMC / Sony Pictures TelevisionIn reality, it’s easy to frame Gustavo Fring, played by Giancarlo Esposito, as something of an anti-villain–an antagonist with a sympathetic background who proves every bit as likable, if not more so, than his counterpart in Walter White. A powerful drug kingpin masquerading as a mild-mannered fast food CEO, Fring runs both of his professional empires with near-mechanical precision. Whereas Walter’s fiery temper dictates many of his irrational actions, Fring’s pragmatic and logical cool-headedness allows him to sift through his conflicting emotions, making him all the more threatening an antagonist to face.
Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones)HBO EntertainmentWhile Ramsay Bolton, Cersei Lannister, or Tywin Lannister are certainly more intelligent, there’s something about Jack Gleeson’s Joffrey Baratheon that stands out. A whiny, pig-headed, arrogant spoiled teenager with a sadistic mean streak, Joffrey delights in inflicting pain on others simply because he can. Lacking neither morals nor basic strategic intelligence, Joffrey exploits his position as King of the Seven Kingdoms to his own twisted advantage. Possessing almost none of the qualities that a judicious monarch needs to rule, Joffrey’s constant abuse of his social inferiors makes him among the most despicable individuals in all of Westeros, bar none.
Benjamin Linus (Lost)ABC / Bad RobotThe enigmatic leader of the Others, Michael Emerson’s Benjamin Linus remains one of the most unknowable characters in the entirety of Lost. Just when you think you have him figured out, Ben unveils an entirely new hidden agenda you never even considered possible, from kidnapping pregnant women to using Sayid as his personal hired gun. A master manipulator able to talk himself out of the most dangerous situations, Ben is that chaotic character whose allegiance is forever changing, causing viewers to constantly guess whose side he’s on at any given moment.
The Master (Doctor Who)BBC StudiosEvery well-known hero has an evil version of themselves, whether discussing Superman and Bizarro, Flash and Reverse-Flash, or The Doctor and The Master. The Moriarty to The Doctor’s Sherlock, The Master appears as the complete polar opposite of his fellow Gallifreyan Time Lord. Whereas The Doctor goes out of his way to help those in need, The Master is solely interested in acquiring further power in the universe, putting him one step closer to total galactic supremacy. While multiple iterations of the character have been seen over the years, The Master remains every bit as entertaining now as he had been in the early 1970s, regardless of the actor portraying him.
Newman (Seinfeld)NBC / Castle Rock EntertainmentNewman is an interesting example of an unconventional television antagonist. Despite being the close friend of Cosmo Kramer, this disgruntled Post Office worker takes every opportunity he can to wreak havoc on the life of his sworn arch-nemesis, Jerry Seinfeld. From sabotaging Jerry’s romantic relationships to infesting Jerry’s apartment with fleas, Newman’s constant, over-the-top attempts to inconvenience Jerry’s life any way he can make him a consistently hilarious adversary from one episode to the next.
Lorne Malvo (Fargo)FX / MGM TelevisionWhile something positive might be said about every Fargo antagonist, Lorne Malvo, played by Billy Bob Thornton, stands apart as the most frightening villain we’ve seen in the FX anthology series yet. A tonal cross between Anton Chigurh, the Terminator, and Satan himself, Lorne is the metaphorical embodiment of pure evil in the context of the series. An unscrupulous hitman and con artist who prides himself on his animalistic mentality, Lorne views himself as a wolf among hordes of unsuspecting sheep. Positioning himself at the top of the food chain, Malvo delights in murdering, manipulating, and corrupting almost everyone he happens across, serving as the proverbial devil on everyone’s shoulder within the morally ambiguous framework of Fargo.
Boyd Crowder (Justified)FX / Sony Pictures TelevisionA fascinating figure from Marshal Raylan Givens’ past, Boyd Crowder’s lengthy list of crimes can fill up a 500-page book. A charismatic speaker with a complicated personality, Boyd’s character arc within Justified makes for an interesting odyssey. Over the course of the show, Walton Goggins’ Crowder appears as everything from a professional bank robber to the born-again leader of a religious movement, with his irregular attempts at personal redemption typically leading him back to a life of crime. A villain audiences are able to understand and potentially even root for, Boyd’s unique relationship with Raylan adds a more personal dynamic between the U.S. Marshal and his foremost arch-nemesis.
While Scarlett Johansson has had an illustrious career, even our favorite Avenger can have some amazing movies and some questionable films.
Chances are, you are not one of the boomers or Gen X-ers who went out to see Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum fall in love against the backdrop of the 1969 Lunar Landing last weekend. Fly Me to the Moon is, by all accounts, an old-fashioned rom-com – the kind that features impossibly attractive celebrities uttering impossible phrases in impossible situations. The kind that no one sees anymore. To my taste, rom-coms should be a bit more ironic, a bit edgier – think Easy A, Warm Bodies, and Emma (the Anya Taylor-Joy edition). That said, Fly Me to the Moon is by no means a bad movie, and calls to mind some of Johansson’s best work. So, let’s look back on her three best movies, shall we? And while we’re at it, we’ll try to forget her three worst ones.
The 3 Best Scarlett Johansson MoviesMarriage Story (2019)NetflixI remember seeing this at a screening and being blown away by Johansson’s command of the screen. I think that Adam Driver overshadows her in some scenes, but she’s still affecting and sympathetic in the role of a woman whose marriage is falling apart. That doesn’t mean she’s likable; however, that’s why her performance is noteworthy. She plays every angle of the character – both her charming side and her despicable side – with equal flair. She also looks beautiful when she’s crying. Meanwhile, when I walk out of a theater after seeing a sad movie, I look like I have malaria.
Black Widow (2021)Walt DisneyIs this, objectively, Marvel’s best superhero movie? Probably not. It only has a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes (which is like getting a B- on a paper, by Marvel standards). On the other hand, it’s a long overdue starring role for the sole female among the original MCU Avengers. With the help of Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh) and her other pugnacious relatives, Johansson fights both crime and the patriarchy as the American-accented Natasha Russianov, leaping from ceilings and reminding us why she deserved this role in the first place. It’s Johansson’s movie and we’re all just half-watching it.
Jojo Rabbit (2019)Fox SearchlightThis movie made me cry more than Marriage Story. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been married, or maybe it’s because Johansson brings real pathos to this role as a German woman who secretly sabotages the Nazis during World War II. Her scenes with her son are amusing and heartwarming, even during dark times; and when her situation goes south, you feel it in her gut. She understands the assignment.
The 3 Worst Scarlett Johansson MoviesThe Island (2005)Warner Bros.Here are four things that I remember about this movie: (1) Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor were either robots, clones, or humans that thought they were clones but actually weren’t. The fact that I don’t remember is testament to this movie’s … (2) Blandness. When I think of this movie, I think of white walls and white outfits. Like, sometimes white can be interesting, such as when it appears in an episode of Euphoria. But in this movie, it was … (3) Bland. Did I mention that this movie was bland? I think Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson made out at one point, which is cool – or did they open a joint bank account together? Both events would have been equally thrilling. (4) It was bland.
Ghost in the Shell (2017)Paramount PicturesScarlett Johansson played a Japanese woman in this movie. Scarlett Johansson.
The Perfect Score (2004)Paramount PicturesDid you know that Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans starred in a movie eight years before The Avengers? It was about a group of New Jersey teenagers who worked together to steal the answers for the SAT, and it was boring as fck. The only interesting aspect of the movie was that it officially kicked off the two actors’ career-long working relationship, which continued with The Nanny Diaries and culminated in, of course, The Avengers. Oh, and it co-starred Bryan Greenberg, who deserves a bigger career considering how cute and in-a-lot-of-movies he used to be. Like, this guy was once in a movie with Meryl Streep! (Prime*, 2005.) We should be seeing him in Go Daddy commercials at the very least.
There’s no disputing that 1994 was a monumental year for film. Yet, there are a few celebrated movies that weren’t received with arms wide open when they were released.
Objectively, 1994 might be the greatest year for movies and cinema. Does that sound like an outlandish statement to make? Well, if the jury would do us the honor of looking at the following evidence sitting at Exhibition A: The Lion King. Speed. The Crow. Maverick. 3 Ninjas Kick Back. That’s only the first half of the year, with the second part filled by beauties such as Forrest Gump, True Lies, Dumb and Dumber, and The Mask.
Now, 30 years later, reminiscing about that absolutely stacked roster, it feels almost like an act of divinity that’s impossible to replicate. Hindsight, though, proves to be everything, as there are a number of undisputed classics that weren’t as warmly received when they dropped in ’94. So, let’s take a closer look at what failed to hit the mark way back then.
The FlintstonesUniversal PicturesThink of god-tier casting and Brian Levant’s The Flintstones comes to mind immediately. With John Goodman as Fred Flintstone, Rick Moranis as Barney Rubble, Elizabeth Perkins as Wilma Flintstone, and Rosie O’Donnell as Betty Rubble, this film had everything in place to be a monumental success. Technically, it was, yabba-dabba-doing it at the box office with over $358 million worldwide from a $45 million budget. However, the cartoonish nature of the movie that borrowed freely from the Hanna-Barbera animated series had the critics stealing Bamm-Bamm’s club and bashing it to a 23% Rotten Tomatoes score. Reviewers didn’t appreciate the rocky puns or childish humor on display, obviously expecting The Godfather‘s cerebral drama instead of a story where the garbage disposal is a dinosaur. How dare they not laugh at Halle Berry being cast as Sharon Stone here! Watch The Flinstones on Starz.
Ace Ventura: Pet DetectiveWarner Bros.Without a doubt, 1994 belonged to Jim Carrey, as he assassinated the box office with Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Out of these three blockbusters, it was the latter that drew the most divisive of reactions back in the day, mostly because it was unrestrained Carrey at his fullest. From belting out “Assholimio” to him hamming it up in a pink tutu, Ace Ventura dialed everything up to 12 – never mind 11 – here. Reviewers called it gross, offensive, and too over the top, only awarding it a 47% critical approval score on Rotten Tomatoes. Sure, some of the gags haven’t aged well at all, but it’s tough to argue that this movie set up Carrey to become one of the most famous funnymen of the ’90s. Watch Ace Ventura: Pet Detective on Amazon Video.
JuniorUniversal PicturesArnold Schwarzenegger built a career out of being a musclebound action hero with his flesh guns being bigger than the weapons in his hands, but he also demonstrated his aptitude for comedy in films such as Kindergarten Cop and Twins. In 1994, he teamed up with Danny DeVito for the side-splitting endeavor titled Junior, where Schwarzenegger plays scientist Alex Hesse who takes a radical new drug and undergoes male pregnancy. Now, while the sight of a hormonal Schwarzenegger with hunger pangs should be more than enough to sell a movie to a large audience, the critics didn’t agree. Sitting with only a 39% critical approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the consensus was that Junior just wasn’t funny enough. Are we sure they weren’t mixing this up with Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot? Watch Junior on Netflix.
TimecopUniversal PicturesIn 1994, all that was necessary for a good time was a mulleted Jean-Claude Van Damme in a balls-to-the-wall action flick. The Muscles from Brussels flexed and split his way to box office success on numerous occasions, solidifying that he was leading man material. In Peter Hyams’ Timecop, JCVD stars as Max Walker, a time-traveling cop who fights crime in multiple timelines and delivers ice-cold one-liners. The audience couldn’t get enough, as Timecop roundhouse kicked its way to over $100 million at the global box office from a modest $28 million budget. The critics turned their nose up at the movie, though, lashing it with a 42% approval score on Rotten Tomatoes. Some called it silly and far-fetched, obviously forgetting about the time in which JCVD punched out a snake in Hard Target the year before. Watch Timecop on Peacock.
Natural Born KillersWarner Bros.Based on a story by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Oliver Stone, Natural Born Killers tells the dramatic and shocking story of Mickey (Woody Harrelson) and Mallory Knox (Juliette Lewis) who fall in love and become mass murderers, as well as the media’s parasocial relationship with the couple. It’s a controversial film – no doubt – but it also says a lot about how there’s no difference between famous and infamous when it comes to press coverage. Expectedly, this isn’t the type of feature to put on for a family movie night, but one would imagine film connoisseurs to hold a special affection for it. Turns out that wasn’t the case in 1994, as it split reviewers right down the middle, holding a 51% critical approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The polarizing Natural Born Killers had some heralding it as a piece of satirical genius while others deemed it nothing more than depraved junk. Watch Natural Born Killers on Netflix.
Airheads20th Century FoxAnyone who has ever been in a band can commiserate with the actions of the Lone Rangers in Airheads, as the hard rockers hold up a radio station and force it to play their demo. Featuring Brendan Fraser, Adam Sander, and Steve Buscemi as the desperate band members, while also boasting the talents of Chris Farley, Ernie Hudson, and Michael McKean, the comedy film bursts with an all-star cast and wacky appeal. Unfortunately, Airheads flew over the heads of most critics, as it crawled to a 29% on Rotten Tomatoes’ Tomatometer. They failed to find the humor in what would become a cult classic, so Sandler punished everyone by releasing The Ridiculous 6 and Hubie Halloween years later. Moral of the story: Don’t mess with the Sandman because he has worse films sitting in the chamber.
StargateRoland Emmerich doesn’t often miss, delivering crowd-pleasing films in the form of Universal Soldier, Independence Day, and The Day After Tomorrow. In 1994, Emmerich ventured into the familiar terrain of sci-fi to create Stargate – an ambitious motion picture about a device that acts as a portal to other civilizations. Starring Kurt Russell and James Spader, Stargate isn’t short of star power or even action on screen. It also turned a tidy profit, making a smidgen short of $200 million from a $55 million budget. However, the reviewers were unconvinced, as it only mustered a 54% critical approval, according to Rotten Tomatoes. While not the worst score in the world, the film was deemed largely forgettable. The joke was on them, though, as Stargate went on to launch an entire franchise, including a few television series. Watch Stargate on MGM+ and Tubi.
If there’s one thing that Hugh Jackman consistently manages to do, it’s avoid being pigeonholed into any set categorization regarding his performances. On the one hand, when most people hear Jackman’s name, they might instantly think about Jackman’s lengthy tenure as the rugged, dry-witted superhero, Wolverine, in the X-Men series. Yet at the same time, Jackman has also proven himself an endlessly versatile actor able to weave between comedy, musicals, horror, and thrillers, as demonstrated by the star’s recent appearances in films like Prisoners, The Prestige, and Les Misérables, among many, many others.
With Jackman set to make his return to the superhero genre with the upcoming Deadpool & Wolverine, we thought we’d take a look back at some of Jackman’s most well-known films, ranking them in order from worst to best.
Les Misérables (2012)Universal PicturesAfter earning a reputation for his Clint Eastwood-esque performance in the X-Men series throughout the 2000s, Jackman pursued an entirely different project with 2012’s Les Misérables. Distancing himself from the snarling growl of Marvel’s Wolverine, Jackman showed off another facet to his acting capabilities with Les Misérables, holding viewers’ attention with his portrayal of Jean Valjean. Striving to create a new life for himself yet forever hounded by the phantoms of his past, Jackman adds plenty of depth to Valjean’s character, allowing the reformed Prisoner 24601 to take on a life of his own every time he appears on-screen. Watch Les Misérables on Amazon Video.
Eddie the Eagle (2016)LionsgateFew people can make skiing look as hair-raisingly awesome as Hugh Jackman does in Eddie the Eagle. A dramatized account of Michael Edwards’ inspirational journey to become the United Kingdom’s first Olympic ski jumper in 50 years, Eddie the Eagle finds Jackman starring alongside a scene-stealing Taron Egerton in the titular role. Though his performance might owe plenty to X-Men’s Wolverine, Jackman still finds a way to differentiate his character from his superheroic predecessor, leading to plenty of comedic sequences between Jackman and Egerton’s two temperamentally opposing characters. Watch Eddie the Eagle on Max.
X-Men (2000)20th Century FoxWhen looking at the entire X-Men series as a whole, the original X-Men might not match the acclaim of its far better sequels, X2 or X-Men: Days of Future Past. Though outshined by the series’ later entries, it’s impossible to measure the importance X-Men had on the trajectory of Jackman’s career. Outfitting the 30-year-old Australian actor with his first breakthrough role, X-Men also introduced the world to the perfect cinematic portrayal of Marvel’s grizzled superhero, Wolverine. Watch X-Men on Disney+.
Bad Education (2019)Warner Bros.Just as Les Misérables hammered home Jackman’s eminent potential for more musical performances, Bad Education highlighted the actor’ propensity for more grounded dramatic works as well. A fictionalized portrayal of the largest public school embezzlement case in U.S. history, Bad Education traces how Long Island superintendent Frank Tassone (Jackman) swindled away millions of taxpayers’ dollars to fund his own extravagant lifestyle. Bolstered by a similarly wonderful performance from co-star Allison Janney, Bad Education might just rank as Jackman’s finest dramatic performance to date. Watch Bad Education on Max.
The Prestige (2006)Buena VistaMore often than not, Jackman specializes in portraying more empathetic protagonists, be it X-Men’s Wolverine or Les Misérables’ kind-hearted Jean Valjean. In the case of The Prestige, however, Jackman is able to convincingly step into the role of a far more morally complex character. As Victorian magician Robert Angier, Jackman’s initially sympathetic persona slowly erodes over time, leading to Angier’s transformation into a callous sociopath whose sole motivation is revenge against his professional rival (Christian Bale’s Alfred Borden). Watch The Prestige on Amazon Video.
Prisoners (2013)Warner Bros.How far might you go to help the person you love? What lengths would you put yourself through to make sure that person lives to see another day? Such questions form the backbone to 2013’s Prisoners, a hair-raising neo-noir thriller that sees Jackman playing a desperate father searching for his missing daughters. A good man struggling to retain his morality and very sanity in the midst of a dire family crisis, Jackman’s role as vigilante father Keller Dover is nothing short of chilling. Watch Prisoners on Amazon Video.
Logan (2017)20th Century FoxWith Jackman’s official return in Deadpool & Wolverine, the emotional nuance of Logan might not weigh as heavily as it once did back in 2017. Yet even the harshest detractor will have trouble taking anything away from the momentous conclusion to Wolverine’s spin-off trilogy. Taking ample advantage of its hard R-rating, Logan acts as an emotional, fittingly violent send-off to the X-Men’s most well-known lead character, ending Jackman’s initial tenure as the aged Wolverine on a more than satisfying high note. Watch Logan on Disney+.
When Harry Met Sally is a classic for a reason and that’s because it’s perfect but also because it still endures after all this time. Here are four love lessons from When Harry Met Sally that still hold up today.
1. Find someone who can love you through all of your iterations.Throughout the film, both Harry and Sally change. Not only do they grow up, but they grow into themselves and begin to truly take ownership of who they are.
The truth of the matter is that people will always change, including the person you fall in love with. The trick is finding someone who can love you through all of your phases, and you them.
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Timing matters.When Harry first met Sally, they did not get along. At all. But on their third meeting, they finally became friends. And from there, their friendship eventually became true love. Sometimes, love just needs time and space before it can work. Timing matters.
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Friendship is a solid foundation for romance.Harry and Sally became best friends before they fell in love. They learned to trust one another and all about each other’s quirks. Friendship is a beautiful and important base for a solid partnership.
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The annoying stuff is the good stuff.The person you’re meant to be with will never be perfect. They’ll be real. And they’re going to get under your skin sometimes. But you’ll find it’s the annoying stuff that is the good stuff.
If you need further evidence that it’s the things that drive you crazy are the things you love the most, please enjoy the last scene of the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ODPyUxLNw
To us normal folk, Hollywood represents all things glamorous. Who wouldn’t want to have their face beamed into thousands of theaters – and to millions of theatergoers – every weekend? Add to that the parties, mansions, Met Galas, and Paris Fashion Weeks, and you have yourself a deal. We’d all try to be famous actors if we could. But for some actors, the silver screen has lost its sheen; their only recourse is to leave the industry for good. On the other hand, some actors can’t even find work anymore. In this article, you’ll unfortunately find actors from both camps.
Matt LeBlancNBCLeBlanc will forever be linked to Joey, and you can’t blame the man for failing to break away from that mold. Despite his best efforts – including an acclaimed role in the series Episodes – LeBlanc hasn’t had the wild success of, say, Jennifer Aniston. And speaking of Aniston, LeBlanc is insisting that he won’t work with her – or anyone – ever again. Not for shady reasons, though. Just because he’s tired of going to work every morning. Relatable!
Taylor LautnerSummit Entertainment If you were Team Jacob during the Twilight years, then you’re probably Team Disappointed right about now. Though Taylor Lautner had the looks and quasi-charm to make it as a semi-bankable leading man post-Twilight saga, he never quite flexed his acting muscles in the way that Kristen Stewart or Robert Pattinson did. (Of course, it’s debatable whether he ever had any, but that’s beside the point.) Despite his attempts at becoming a B-movie action star à la Liam Neeson in the mid-2010s, Lautner never made quite the pop culture impression that he could have. His biggest appearance in the last six years was in a Taylor Swift music video.
Liv TylerNew Line CinemaAs the ethereal elven love interest of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, Liv Tyler proved that she was more than just the daughter of Steven Tyler. She was also an OK actress. Though she never became a critical darling like some of her LOTR costars, she still found steady work afterwards, even appearing in the Emmy-nominated The Leftovers. Unfortunately, Tyler occasionally chose underperforming projects that interrupted her career, leading to a multi-year post-Covid hiatus. However, Tyler will reportedly join the next Captain America movie, Brave New World.
Cameron DiazSony Pictures After appearing in the 2014 remake of Annie, the loveable ‘90s and aughts star dropped Hollywood completely to focus on motherhood. Still, she’s managed to remain in the public consciousness, most likely due to December reruns of The Holiday. Though never a huge fan of the craft of acting, Diaz apparently missed it enough to get back into the fray. (Or she just wanted another Prius.) Later this year, she’ll appear in the aptly named Netflix action comedy, Back in Action.
Daniel Day-LewisMiramax FilmsYou’d think that this infamously Method actor would have been blacklisted from Hollywood after all his legendary antics on set. (During filming on Gangs of New York, he refused to speak with Leonardo DiCaprio – for nine months.) And yet, Day-Lewis is only jobless by choice these days. The three-time Oscar winner retired after appearing in the 2017 film Phantom Thread. According to the 66-year-old Method man himself, he simply wanted to enjoy retirement. After all, acting is probably pretty stressful if you spend every weekday in character as Abraham Lincoln, glaring at all your coworkers who aren’t from the North.
Emma WatsonSummit EntertainmentIt’s hard to believe it, but Emma Watson hasn’t been in a feature film since 2019’s Little Women. The erstwhile Hermione still shows up to Harry Potter events, of course, but isn’t very keen on returning to acting. She’s had a much more marvelous time as a U.N. ambassador, raising awareness on topics ranging from feminism to climate change. That said, she has claimed that she’ll return to movie acting if given the right role, even if she seems exhausted from the Hollywood rigmarole.
Renee ZellwegerMiramax FilmsIt might seem like just yesterday that Renee Zellweger won the Best Actress Oscar for Judy, but that was actually in 2019! She’s only shown up in one limited series since then – The Thing About Pam – for which she wore a fat suit, inciting controversy. In Zellweger’s case, she became fed up with all the scrutiny that she faced for her decision to get plastic surgery and change her appearance. Her body, her choice. Thankfully, she’s planning a comeback with The Back Nine, a golf comedy directed by Michael Patrick King.
In movies and television, we resonate with characters who have similar personality traits. The rarest personality type in the popular personality test Myers-Briggs, is INFJ (standing for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging) and is estimated to make up 1-2% of the population. While the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator test been subjected to scrutiny in the past few years, psychologists who have actually looked more critically into the test assert that it is not any less valid or reliable than any other personality test. These are the movie and television characters that are uniquely INFJ-coded, showcasing the INFJ’s light and dark sides.
Wednesday Addams from WednesdayQuiet, reserved, intuitive, and sarcastic Wednesday Adams played by Jenna Ortega in the television series is a classic INFJ. Wednesday represents the wonderful weirdness and dynamic uniqueness of the INFJ personality — from her delightfully distinct dance moves to her ruthless delivery of dark cynicism and wit. INFJs are funny even without trying, introspective, investigative and absolutely blunt when it comes to speaking the truth, perfectly captured by Ortega’s portrayal.
Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones In the beginning of Game of Thrones, Daenerys represents the INFJ on a mission for justice. She is empathic to those imprisoned by chains and has a talent and resilience for rising to power against all odds. She listens and carefully observes her foes, strategically unveiling her full power to her enemies only when it is time to do so. She is conscientious, determined, passionate, analytical, and thoughtful. You never know what’s going on in her head unless she tells you — just like an INFJ. While she can be personable to her supporters, friends and lovers, she exudes a quiet dignity and ruthlessness which INFJs are known for and it is clear she is formidable in her strength and not one to be messed with. She builds an army with those who have faith in her and her message — and she does in fact begin building a new world. She goes through numerous traumas and yet still rises above her adversity, even channeling them into triumph. These are all typical INFJ behaviors and traits: they love saving the world and helping the most vulnerable.
Unfortunately, the writers of Game of Thrones decided to make Daenerys transition to the “Mad Queen” after she witnessed her dragons and best friend being slaughtered, making her an extreme symbol of what happens when an INFJ loses all control and has nothing left to lose. She thus ends up as a depiction of what happens when an unhealthy INFJ takes the pursuit of power too far in Season 8 and forgets their mission for the greater good. Whatever you may think of Daenerys, she certainly depicts both the light and dark sides of the INFJ.
Rory Gilmore from Gilmore GirlsSmart, sassy, enthusiastic and multifaceted Rory Gilmore is another obvious INFJ-coded character representing the studious nature of the INFJ. She always has her nose in a book, is perfectionistic, idealistic, determined and intellectual, yet also quite complicated and flawed. Her romantic relationships tend to be tumultuous and she has a penchant for the bad boys because of her secret thirst for adventure. It is through her relationships that we see she is not the cookie-cutter scholar “good girl” but rather a young woman trying to navigate her authentic desires and yearning to have a meaningful life beyond the traditional milestones of life. This is so INFJ-coded.
Jane EyreScapegoated and outcasted as an orphaned child, Jane Eyre in both the book and the movie represents how INFJs are targeted by others because they dare to be different and tend to be quite special in their gifts. Yet she tackles her adversity with grace, as many INFJs do, and still remains kind, thoughtful, and brave, constantly thinking meaningfully about life and the actions of others. So INFJ!
Arya Stark from Game of ThronesArya Stark is another character from Game of Thrones who is quite INFJ coded. Talented, resilient, and merciless to those on her list, no one ever sees her coming. INFJs tend to be underestimated due to their seemingly demure nature and certainly no one ever expected Arya’s transformation. Arya perfectly encapsulates both the light and dark parts of the INFJ personality as she transitions from the exuberant innocence of youth to the dark ruthlessness with which she approaches those who harmed her family after experiencing numerous traumas. Her tenacity and willpower are pure INFJ superpowers.
Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter seriesLuna Lovegood is a quirky and brilliant character in Harry Potter who always seems to have access to knowledge and insights no one else does. She is heart-driven, caring, compassionate, and eerily psychic about her observations and analyses on human nature. An INFJ at her core!
Joe Goldberg and Love Quinn from YouThese two characters in You have many INFJ characteristics even though they would likely fall short of being INFJs due to their crimes. Joe loves reading, his inner monologue is deeply analytical and philosophical, and his idealistic view of love which tends to be tarnished by the reality of his romantic partners is so INFJ-coded. Similarly, Love Quinn is also idealistic in love and a fellow romantic who is very protective over her loved ones — to the point of killing, in fact. INFJs certainly don’t go this far, but they are ferociously protective of people they love. Yet while both of these characters are INFJ-coded yet they may lack a key component of the INFJ personality: empathy and remorse. As Joe falls deeper into his darkness, his empathy and remorse are diminished and he becomes increasingly manipulative and deceptive.
Say goodbye to bad boys, fuck boys, and mama’s boys. There are real men out there, just waiting for you to enhance their lives. So don’t sell yourself short. You deserve more love than those lost boys can give you.
He has no right to take his problems out on you.
His life might be a living nightmare. He might’ve dealt with some shit that you couldn’t even imagine. But that’s no excuse to treat you poorly. If he blames you for problems that you have absolutely nothing to do with, then it’s your duty to walk away. You should be his little slice of paradise, not his punching bag.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about being happy.
You don’t want to date someone who’s so miserable that they make you feel like shit whenever something good happens to you. Your boyfriend is supposed to be the first person you run to when you have good news. If you’re worried about telling him about the amazing day he had, because it’ll make him feel extra shitty about his own life, then you’re dating the wrong person.
He’s not a charity case.
Don’t stay with him because you pity him or because you think he can change over time. The only reason you should date him is because you genuinly care about him. If the love’s not there, then you shouldn’t be, either. You deserve someone who can give you what you need and he deserves someone who accepts him as he is.
You should be able to talk openly to him.
You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells when you speak to him to avoid setting him off. His temper might not seem like a big deal right now, but it could get out of hand in the future. It could get dangerous. It’s better for you to break his heart now than for him to break your ribs somewhere down the line.
You deserve a real relationship.
It doesn’t matter if we live in the century that revolves around casual hookups. If you want a real relationship, then you shouldn’t settle for a half-assed one. FWBs and open relationships won’t cut it. If he’s too terrified of commitment to call you his girlfriend, then you don’t need to call him at all. Delete his name from your contacts and find a man who actually respects you enough to agree to monogamy.
Your boyfriend isn’t your boss.
You’re in charge of your body. That means you can wear whatever makeup and clothing you want to wear. If he tries to dictate the way you look, then feel free to tell him to go to hell. He’s not your father or your fashion stylist. He doesn’t have a right to tell you what you can and cannot do.
He needs to put himself first for now.
He can’t save you and you can’t save him. If he has issues that you can’t even begin to help him with, then he shouldn’t be in a relationship. It’s not because he’s unlovable or unattractive. It’s because he can’t make you his main priority. He needs to put himself first, for the sake of his sanity. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t stay friends. You can keep him in your life, but keep your heart out of his reach.
Love isn’t easy. If it was, then everyone would be in love all the time. While some people are hopeless romantics, others struggle with love and intimacy. It’s okay if you struggle. It’s okay if you need help understanding your emotions. Most importantly it’s okay if you have trouble with love.
Loving someone is hard. It takes work and it takes dedication. Above all it takes a certain appreciation for yourself and for your partner. You lay your heart on the line and that’s not easy. It’s not easy to be emotionally vulnerable and raw, especially when there is always a risk of things falling apart.
So here is me telling you that it’s okay.
It’s okay if you struggle to open up. You are just working things out and letting yourself understand your feelings.
It’s okay if your idea of love isn’t this huge romanticized production. Your love can be simple. It can be calm. It can be wild. It can be thrilling. Love is what YOU make it to be.
It’s okay if you have trouble showing your emotions. Not everyone can cry. Not everyone can reach deep within their soul and understand how to make sense of their feelings. Start by focusing on your emotions internally instead of putting pressure on yourself to show them to others.
It’s okay if you don’t want to dive in to love. Take your time. You should take all the time you need and more. Don’t let anyone pressure you to feel things prematurely.
It’s okay if you have been hurt before. We all have our baggage and we all have our scars. Accept your past and know that the sun will come out tomorrow.
It’s okay if love challenges you at first. Embrace this adversity and don’t back down when things seem hard. It’s important that you learn to grow outside of your comfort zone.
It’s okay to put physical intimacy on side for a bit. Sex can be so fleeting and temporary, while emotions multiply and grow throughout your head and your heart. Don’t let sex define your relationship and learn how to channel your emotions instead.
It’s okay if you never want to be in love.
It’s okay if you are afraid. Hopefully someday you will be with someone who will ease your fears.
It’s okay if you feel intimidated. Let yourself learn about the kind of love you want.
It’s okay if you don’t want to be in distress. You don’t need saving. Save yourself first. Then find someone who will go along with you on the ride.
It’s okay to let yourself try and fail at love. Make mistakes and learn from them. Embrace your errors and keep moving forward. No one knows what love is or what it means until they LEARN.
Most importantly, love yourself first. Love who you are and what you have become. It’s okay if you struggle to love others, but make sure that you are your first love.
Sex and the City which premiered in 1998 was certainly ahead of its time when it came to capturing the experience of many women in dating, romance, and sex. Even today, there are many legendary quotes and situations from the show that ring even more true in the modern dating world and serve as guideposts for single women everywhere not to settle in love, sex, and marriage. See if these resonate with you, and don’t forget to binge-watch Sex and the City now that it’s available for streaming on Netflix.
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”Now that modern women are decentering dating from their lives and sticking to their standards, it’s become an era of freedom, self-love, and liberation. Women have left dating apps and casual hookup culture en masse to pursue more organic real-life connections or peaceful solitude. Being single is no longer as stigmatized – it is becoming more and more prioritized to pursue before a woman chooses to settle down, if at all, and has become an exciting era of self-discovery to ensure one is not settling for less when choosing a partner.
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”This quote encapsulates the different types of women in the modern dating world. It includes people who are willing to settle down for anyone so long as they’re settling, people who have actually found a compatible mate, and the eternal romantics with high standards who don’t tend to settle at all until they’ve found “the one.” In a world where low-effort dates and emotional unavailability are becoming more and more normalized, it’s important for modern women to stick to their boundaries and standards.
“I don’t understand why women are so obsessed with getting married? I mean married people just want to be single again, if you’re single, the world is your smorgasbord.” + “You know marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending, just an ending.”The foreshadowing is so real in these two quotes. Who would have thought that years later, many women would be abandoning the idea of marriage altogether? Marriage as a social construct has been put under the critical lens this past decade, especially given its shortcomings for women and the larger amount of domestic and emotional labor women are expected to put up with as they become wives – something they no longer need to do for survival. Research has indicated that the happiness of married people doesn’t appear to reliably increase over time whereas the happiness of single people does, and that psychological distress can actually increase for women after marriage.
“There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t include a Post-It!”Replace post-it note with a lack of text message responses after a period of love bombing, and you’ve got yourself a modern dating climate of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and a litter of false promises – or perhaps a man watching your Instagram story silently for the next eighty-four years. While we don’t get break-ups like the one Carrie had with Berger as frequently nowadays, women today still have to deal with mishaps, uncertainty, upheavals and miscommunication over modern technology that are quite cumbersome in the realm of romance.
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.”Who knew Sex and the City could offer so much insight about the dating experiences of women in one single sentence? Many women have relayed horror stories about the modern dating world – whether getting manipulated by the so-called “nice guys” or the overt con artist “bad boy” types. The orgasm gap in casual encounters has been scientifically studied, and lackluster lovers abound. Many women feel they really have to dig deep these days to find a high-quality lover, let alone a high-quality partner.
“It’s so interesting, you can tell a man I hate you and you’ll have the best sex of your life, but tell him I love you, and you’ll probably never see him again.”This quote perfectly captures the throes of hookup culture and hot-and-cold relationships. Sexually charged relationships can begin and be filled with plenty of passion, flirty banter, and chaos, but fulfilling, soul-nourishing relationships in the dating world can be rarer to find. For many, the chase and pursuit keeps the romance alive – but once a woman feels sufficiently invested in a relationship, she often feels her emotionally unavailable romantic partners can suddenly lose interest.
“I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.”Miranda Hobbes was so on point with the different ways successful men and women were treated in the dating world. Research indicates that even today, men on average tend to feel threatened by successful women. Not much has changed – if anything, these issues have exacerbated. As women get increasingly more ambitious and successful, their male counterparts often fall short in offering authentic support, and some may even feel emasculated. As a result, successful women often have a harder time navigating the modern dating world.
“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the “you” you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” This is a quote for the ages, and sadly Carrie Bradshaw did not follow her own advice given the many chances she gave to Mr. Big. However, that doesn’t mean viewers of Sex and the City can’t take this quote and apply it to their own lives. A great partner should bring value to your life and provide the cherry on top – they should not be the center of one’s existence.
“Maybe we can be each other’s soul mates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”This is another instance where it would have been nice if Carrie actually followed her own sage advice in prioritizing her female friendships on the show, but maybe we can still learn from what she didn’t do by remembering that soulmates cannot just be found in lovers but also best friends, loved ones, and ourselves. Self-partnership and friendships can be some of the most beautiful love stories, and they are just as worthy of pursuing as romantic love.
Time for some summer love!
It’s summer, babes! And you know what that means: Sunshine warming your skin, nights under the stars, and the prospect of an earth-shattering summer love. I’m not saying you should stay inside all summer watching rom-coms, but if you have a night when you just want to cuddle up and feel butterflies, try these summer romantic comedies. Just look for your zodiac sign and I’ll tell you exactly what to watch (and where to watch it.)
Aries: Camp Rock (2008)DisneyYou don’t care how old you get, you will always love the idea of a fun summer camp romance. Are you Demi Lovato, the new kid proving that you can sing like the best of them? Or are you Joe Jonas, the bad boy relegated to teaching your fellow teens how to let loose on the stage? Watch Camp Rock on Disney+.
Taurus: Palm Springs (2020)HuluYou want a love that transcends time. How about a Groundhog Day-esque time loop instead? The pair keep reliving the same summer day in Palm Springs and need to figure out a way to get un-stuck. Many consider Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti’s Palm Springs to be the best rom-com of the last decade. Watch Palm Springs on Hulu.
Gemini: Aquamarine (2006)20th Century FoxYou want your summer rom-coms to be silly and absurd, thanks. In that case, check out Aquamarine, in which a mermaid comes on land to fall in love and prove to her father that romance transcends species. You’ll either have a huge shot of nostalgia or finally see this for ’00s masterpiece that it is. Watch Aquamarine on Hulu and Disney+.
Cancer: Mamma Mia! (2008)Universal PicturesSophie’s getting married and she secretly invites the three men her mom had a simmer fling with–and one of them could be her dad. You’re usually the mom of the group, even if you don’t have kids. So watching the dual romances of Sophie and her mother Donna is exactly want you want in a summer rom-com. Watch Mamma Mia! on Max.
Leo: Dirty Dancing (1987)Vestron Pictures“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” You want to be treated like the main character by the people you love, so you’ll definitely identify with Baby in this 1980s classic. She feels left out and forgotten when her family goes to a resort for the summer–until she meets sexy-dancing, misunderstood bad boy Johnny Castle. Watch Dirty Dancing on Amazon Video.
Virgo: The Last Song (2010)Walt Disney StudiosWhen Ronnie has to spend the summer with her estranged dad, she’ll do anything to push everyone away–including the hot boy who lives in town. Watch this for the dramatic summer relationship Nicholas Sparks writes so well, but stay for the moment Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth fall in love for real. Watch The Last Song on Disney+ and Hulu.
Libra: The Last Summer (2019)NetflixIt’s the last summer before everyone goes off to college, so it’s time for this handful of interconnected couples to see where they stand. It’s all the stages of love–from the fledgling beginnings to bitter ends–which makes it a perfect watch for a deep-down romantic such as yourself. Watch The Last Summer on Netflix.
Scorpio: Safe Haven (2013)Relativity MediaThis is the second Nicholas Sparks movie on the list. Here, Katie is on the run and stays in a small town on the coast of North Carolina to hide away. She’s desperate to keep her secrets, but can’t help falling in love with Josh Duhamel and his adorable kids. (Can you blame her?) The secrets and life-changing love make this perfect for you, Scorpio. Watch Safe Haven on Max.
Sagittarius: How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)20th Century FoxFor you, the best summer romance is a vacation fling. In this classic rom-com, Stella is a single mom who’s stuck in a rut. Her friends push her to go on a summer vacation to Jamaica–and have a quick fling with a young Taye Diggs in the process. Sometimes you just need a change of pace. Watch How Stella Got Her Groove Back on Amazon Video.
Capricorn: Moonrise Kingdom (2012)Focus FeaturesYou love the cozy aesthetic of Wes Anderson movies, so this movie is a top-tier choice for your summer movie nights. It follows pen pals and young loves Sam and Suzy as they run away together while an entire island goes looking for them. It’s sweet, it’s beautiful, and it’s quirky as hell. Watch Moonrise Kingdom on Amazon Video.
Aquarius: Adventureland (2009)Miramax FilmsYou need your summer rom-coms to have more substance than just a sweet little romance. Adventureland is rye and indie as hell, which is just your speed. In it, James decides to work at the local amusement park after his European vacation plans fall through. He meets interesting people–including Kristen Stewart fresh off Twilight–and grows by the end of the summer. Watch Adventureland on Paramount+.
Pisces: Say Anything (1989)20th Century FoxLloyd just graduated from high school and wants to spend his summer doing the only thing he thinks is important: Falling in love. So when he has the chance to be with Diane, he isn’t afraid to show her that she’s everything. This’ll appeal to your romantic heart that just wants someone to love you as much as Lloyd Dobler loves Diane Court. Watch Say Anything on Hulu and AMC+.
I honestly don’t need someone as shitty as you in my life. That’s why I haven’t picked up my phone to contact you. Of course, I haven’t deleted your number either. So if you actually texted me, I’d be dumb enough to answer.
I just want to know that you care.
There’s no way in hell that I’m going to text you first. But if you were the one to reach out to me, to admit that you missed me and wanted me back in your life, then I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from answering you. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to put in effort to show me that you give a fuck about me. Texting me would only be a tiny gesture, but it would be enough to convince me to trust you again.
It’s already hard enough to hold myself back from talking to you.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s been easy for me to go months without speaking to you. If you want the truth, it’s been hell for me. There have been plenty of times when I’ve grabbed my phone, typed out a message to you, and then came to my senses and deleted the words. Even though I act like I’m happier without you, getting a text from you would make my entire day. Maybe even my whole week.
I don’t hate you as much as I pretend I do.
I pretend to hate you, because it’s easier to get through life that way. But you know how much I loved you, how much I wanted to make our relationship last. That’s why I’d forgive you way too easily if you gave me the chance. I’d let all of your past mistakes slide, as long as you promised to treat me right in the future. It wouldn’t matter if you meant it or not. I’d force myself to believe that it was the truth, because I still have irrational dreams about us living happily ever after.
I’m good at lying to myself.
If you texted me, I’d tell myself that answering you back would be harmless. Then, when you asked me to come over, I’d tell myself that spending a few hours alone with you would be harmless. I’d keep lying to myself until I ended up in your bed again. Until you screwed me over and shattered my half-healed heart into pieces again.
I have horrible self-control.
Honestly, it’s a miracle that I’ve gone this long without talking to you. If you texted me first, I might last a few hours without responding, but I’d eventually cave in. The curiosity would be too much for me. I’d need to know what you wanted to say. I’d need to hear your heartfelt apology or your bullshit excuses. Otherwise, I’d go crazy trying to guess what it was you wanted to tell me.
I miss you more than you could ever imagine.
I’m not going to lie. I still think about you on a daily basis. Why wouldn’t I? We’ve been through a lot together. It would be weird if I didn’t miss you. But I have too much dignity to type out a message to you, so if you ever want to hear from me again, you’re going to have to make the first move. I’ll be waiting.
We may be deep into summer and enjoying our chill poolside days, but fall is right around the corner. In about a month or two, we will be cozying up in sweatshirts, drinking apple cider, and preparing for Halloween festivities. As fall approaches, we can also get excited about new shows coming out to binge-watch while we light an apple cinnamon candle and sip on some hot apple cider. Here’s a list of 7 TV shows to watch out for coming in September and October and how to watch them.
September 5: The Perfect Couple, Season 1Coming to Netflix on September 5, The Perfect Couple is a new drama series starring Nicole Kidman, Eve Hewson, Liev, Schreiber, and Dakota Fanning. The Perfect Couple is based on a book by Elin Hilderbrand and has the cutest marketing campaign involving a wedding invitation that you can find here. The Perfect Couple is about Amelia Sacks (Hewson) who is getting married to one of Nantucket’s wealthiest bachelors. However, the perfect wedding day is quickly ruined when a dead body washes ashore during the ceremony. Suddenly, the champagne and hors d’oeuvres don’t taste so dreamy and everyone becomes a suspect for murder.
September 13: How To Die Alone, Season 1How To Die Alone is a new series coming to Hulu on September 13. How To Die Alone follows Mel (Natasha Rothwell), a broke airport employee living in New York who is going through the motions day in and day out. She’s never been in love and eventually, stops dreaming of a better life for herself altogether. That is, however, until she has a near brush with death and it opens her eyes to the possibilities all around her. Mel takes back her life and starts living on her own terms, and based on that description, I feel like many of us working a corporate 9-5 will deeply relate to.
September 15: Tulsa King, Season 2Season 2 of Tulsa King is coming back to Paramount+ on September 15. The Sylvester Stallone hit show will bring him back as Dwight as he is growing his criminal empire. Along the way, Dwight is forced to violence to keep his family and friends safe while still growing his business. The Kansas City mob is one of his biggest opps this season, plus the addition of a local businessman who is threatening his success and safety. On top of all of that, he still has loose ends to tie up in New York.
September 18: The Golden Bachelorette, Season 1Following the success of The Golden Bachelor, The Golden Bachelorette is coming to ABC on September 18th. Just like its predecessor, The Golden Bachelorette follows a cast of senior citizens vying for the love of Joan Vassos as she becomes the inaugural Golden Bachelorette. If you’ve watched The Golden Bachelor, you’ll recognize Vassos as she had a strong connection with Gerry Turner in The Golden Bachelor. Unfortunately, she had to leave the show early because her daughter was having health complications. Vassos got another shot at love and is ready to see what The Golden Bachelorette has in store for her.
October 3: Heartstopper, Season 3Heartstopper has been a fan favorite since it was released on Netflix. The adorable coming-of-age LBGTQ story follows Charlie (Joe Locke) and Nick (Kit Connor) as they discover their close friendship in school might be a little deeper than just friends. The two embark on their journey of love and deal with heartbreak, loss, arguments, and the stress of coming out. Season 3 shows Nick and Charlie’s relationship growing deeper with the soft subtle sounds of Billie Eilish’s “Birds Of A Feather” playing in the background. As the couple grows older, they start to face pressures from attending college, mental health, and sexual health. While the show will still be ethereal, sparkly, and full of love, it sounds like there will be some infusion of real-life struggles that all couples face.
October 11: Disclaimer, Season 1Coming to Apple TV+ on October 11, Disclaimer is a psychological thriller starring Cate Blanchett told in seven chapters. Blanchett stars as Catherine Ravenscroft, an acclaimed journalist who has built her entire career around revealing others’ transgressions and secrets. One day, a novel appears in her possession from an unknown author who writes her as the main character whose deepest and darkest secrets are being revealed. She must figure out who the author is before her transgressions destroy her life entirely.
October 21: NCIS: Origins, Season 1CBS has a spin-off of NCIS coming on October 21 called NCIS: Origins. Origins will take place in the NCIS world as a prequel story, taking the viewers back to 1991 and the early days of the NCIS team. Austin Stowell will star as a young Leroy Jethro Gibbs, a special agent during his early days at the NCIS Camp Pendleton office. Kyle Schmid will be playing Mike Franks, Tyla Abercrombie as Mary Jo Sullivan, and Caleb Foote as Randy Randolf.
We’re only halfway through the year, and already 2024 has given us a healthy assortment of horror films sure to delight and terrify most audience members. From surreal horror films like I Saw the TV Glow to inventive supernatural horror movies like Late Night with the Devil, horror lovers across the globe can rejoice at the numerous worthwhile films that have entered the genre within this past year.
As memorable as many of these 2024 horror films have been, though, few films have matched the overwhelmingly positive reception of the Nicolas Cage-led psychological thriller, Longlegs. Fusing the traditional police procedural drama with a supernatural horror film, Longlegs comes packed with plenty of standout moments, from Cage and Maika Monroe’s gripping performances to the movie’s disquieting central story. For theater-goers anxious to find an ideal companion piece to Longlegs, we rounded up a list of similarly-veined thrillers to enjoy after seeing this superb 2024 horror film.
The Silence of the LambsOrion PicturesFew films bear as strong a resemblance to Longlegs as 1992’s all-time classic, The Silence of the Lambs. Like its spiritual successor in Osgood Perkins’ cerebral horror film, The Silence of the Lambs features a young FBI agent (Jodie Foster) on the trail of an elusive serial killer. With Anthony Hopkins handing in a career-defining performance as the loquacious psychologist-turned-cannibalistic murderer Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs remains as horrifying now as it did upon its initial release three decades ago. Watch The Silence of the Lambs on Prime Video.
Shutter IslandParamount PicturesProbably the closest Martin Scorsese will ever come to directing a full-blown horror film, Shutter Island transports viewers back to the mid 1950s, focusing on the exploits of two police detectives (Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo) tracking down a missing person at a secluded mental health facility. Posing just as many questions as it does answers, Shutter Island’s shocking plot revelations forces audiences to pay close attention to its central mystery, wondering aloud what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s merely the product of DiCaprio’s troubled imagination. Watch Shutter Island on Paramount+.
SevenNew Line CinemaNext to The Silence of the Lambs, Seven typically ranks as one of the greatest psychological thrillers of the past few decades. A police procedural drama centered around several murders modeled after the Biblical Seven Deadly Sins, Seven manages to somehow appear even more downbeat than The Silence of the Lambs, if only for its famous twist ending. Getting beneath viewers’ skin in more than a few places, Seven adds a refreshingly cynical spin on the hard-boiled mystery film, standing tall as one of the finest movies in either Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, or David Fincher’s individual filmographies. Watch Seven on Amazon Video.
ManhunterDe Laurentiis Entertainment GroupBefore Anthony Hopkins handed in the definitive portrayal of Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs, Brian Cox delivered a notably chilling performance as the infamous serial killer in 1986’s Manhunter. An atmospheric adaptation of Thomas Harris’s Red Dragon, Manhunter more than manages to capture the taut tone of Harris’s original novel, right down to the eerie presence of Cox’s Lecter (spelled here as “Lecktor”) and Tom Donnan’s twisted “Tooth Fairy” family murderer. Watch Manhunter on Amazon Video.
Jacob’s LadderTri-Star PicturesThough Jacob’s Ladder may not feature serial killers on the run or a police investigation at the center of its narrative, that doesn’t prevent the film from inducing just as many goosebumps as the other entries on this list. A harrowing study of PTSD, trauma, and repressed memories, Jacob’s Ladder brilliantly explores its spellbinding story, sweeping audiences away with its chaotic premise, nightmarish tone, and nonlinear presentation. Watch Jacob’s Ladder on Amazon Video.
The House That Jack BuiltTrustNordiskIf there’s one word that would accurately describe The House That Jack Built, it’d probably be “nauseating.” Just as Longlegs has the ability to make audiences sick to their stomachs, Lars von Triers’ 2018 psychological thriller never wastes a moment to leave viewers shocked, disgusted, and consistently horrified with its upsetting subject matter. A meticulous study of a 1970s American serial killer looking back at his prolific career, The House That Jack Built makes American Psycho seem like a light-hearted Disney musical by comparison, plunging viewers into the literal depths of Hell with its gut-wrenching story of murder, psychopathy, and karmic justice. Watch The House That Jack Built on AMC+ and The Roku Channel.
Chess is a game that is all about strategy, and one can’t help but notice that many of the same manipulation tactics narcissists play is all about strategy and mirrors some of the same strategies used in chess. Here are four psychologically manipulative tactics narcissistic people use in dating and relationships that can be compared to “mental chess,” that empathic people never engage in, according to a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy.
They use decoys and distractions such as love-bombing and future-faking to keep you from figuring out their real agenda early on, causing you to make endless sacrifices to maintain the promise of the fairytale relationship. In chess, you often try to lure in your opponent with “decoys,” your less valuable pieces like pawns first so you can move forward on the board without them noticing and try to “check” their king, keeping the true nature of your final aims concealed while you protect more valuable pieces like the queen or the knight, saving them from also being captured or only used when necessary so they can also play a role in your eventual win. Narcissistic people often use manipulation tactics like love bombing (showering on excessive flattery, contact, attention, praise) and future-faking (promising marriage, a family, an ideal relationship and making hints at a shared future together) to keep you hooked and distracted as they fast-forward the relationship and intimacy in ways that make you invested in them early on. They essentially take your guard down, much like an opponent capturing your knights early on in the game so you are left more defenseless. You become so focused and centered on them and on maintaining this fairytale relationship you do not realize what they are really up to. They sacrifice the “less valuable” parts of themselves in the beginning to lure you as a decoy – perhaps they take you on romantic dates or treat you to grand romantic gestures, spend considerable energy contacting you as often as possible so you get accustomed to them and to manufacture a sense of false, premature intimacy – but these are all actually small “gifts” compared to what they actually expect from you and take from you in the long run.
By the time you’ve figured out their true character and what they actually want from you (e.g. sex, a trophy wife or husband, someone to financially support them or raise their kids) they’ve already sped right across the figurative board and kept all their truly valuable “assets” to themselves while leeching off yours – whether it be your time, energy, emotional or domestic labor, money, or all of the above. At the end of the game, they’ve captured your most valuable pieces, and you’ve made way too many sacrifices “moving across the board” in an attempt to get the fairytale relationship you invested in. Don’t fall prey to the “sunk cost fallacy” when it comes to dating a narcissist. Even if they’ve “captured” you in the beginning, that doesn’t mean a second game has to proceed.
Misrepresenting their true intentions so they can pull the wool over your eyes and disorient you, so you are unable to detach as quickly.In chess or in any board game, one key strategy can be to fool your opponent into thinking you want one thing, when you’re actually after another so you can obtain that goal more easily while they’re distracted. For example, you might make your opponent think you’re after their knight, so they spend more time and energy trying to defend their knight, not noticing that another one of your pieces has already become dangerously close to your king, the most valuable piece. A narcissist can do this more explicitly by misrepresenting their true intentions by telling you they plan to marry you and have an ideal future with you, all while their real agenda is different – for example, perhaps gaining access to your savings and home. More covertly, however, narcissistic people disarm your potential defensive tactics by keeping your mental resources focused on all the wrong things. When you’re dating them or in any kind of relationship with them, they keep you so focused on defending yourself that you ultimately forget to protect yourself and detach. Imagine that a narcissistic dating partner first “negs” you subtly, trying to belittle you because they know you are out of their league in some way.
Or perhaps they try to make you jealous (jealousy induction is a favorite tool of theirs to gain power and control, test the relationship, compensate for insecurity or exact revenge, according to research) or instigate crazymaking arguments or chaos. You might then spend time trying to gain their approval and validation, rather than detaching from the relationship and setting healthy boundaries. You might feel compelled to compete over them, not recognizing that a healthy partner would never cause you to compare yourself to anyone else or compete. They can escalate these tactics over time, causing you to become so disoriented and trauma bonded that you’re left walking on eggshells. If you notice a narcissistic partner using these tactics, do not compete and do not compare yourself. Treat yourself as the “king” or “queen” piece in chess – your energy, your time, is the most valuable currency here, and it is best to reserve that energy into protecting and building yourself up.
They dole out occasional rewards to ensure they get what they want from you in the meantime. Chess is also a game of sacrifices. You may make small sacrifices in the game to move up the board and capture your opponent’s king, but so can your opponent to capture yours. Narcissistic people may appear to “give up” certain things to momentarily placate you in dating and relationships, but you have to look at the actual value of what they’re supposedly sacrificing or giving to you. Is it genuine generosity, or something to keep you on the hook? For example, they may remind you of all the romantic dates they took you on early on in dating when you express concerns about the way they’re mistreating you or distancing themselves now. But since then, they have neglected you and you may have been putting in all the work, either emotionally or even financially supporting them. These occasional rewards or sacrifices are part of the intermittent reinforcement used to keep you invested in them even as they begin to withdraw or withhold their own time and energy. If you detect you’re in the midst of a manipulator, it’s important to keep yourself safe – you can misrepresent your own intentions and not give them access to your vulnerabilities as well.
They use the delay strategy. When you can’t figure out the next best move in chess, sometimes it’s better to delay and make other less risky moves instead. You might move some pieces backwards in the board to stall or keep your pawns moving toward the board as less sacrificial lambs to protect the other pieces as you figure out your strategy. This stalling can also throw off your opponent. Narcissistic and psychopathic people in dating do the same. They can use what is known in the pick-up artist community as the “dread game” to keep you in a constant state of fear and uncertainty about the endgame of your relationship. Where once they love-bombed you with certain promises, now they become vague and more silent, withholding crucial information from you to try to keep the upper-hand. Or they may orchestrate “breaks” in dating to pursue other targets while leaving you in emotional limbo, building connections with others so they can have a back-up in case you decide to flee. This delay strategy, both in chess and in life, works to build their defenses against you should you try to hold them accountable. It’s important that if you realize you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you slow down as well. Take a break from their antics and fortify your own defenses so you can protect yourself. Sometimes the best “checkmate” you can have is moving on and leveling up.
INTPThe possibility of a collaborator.
Most people treat the INTP like a professor, like someone to observe and listen when they talk about things. While this suits INTPs much of the time, romantically, INTPs are looking for someone to share things with, to exchange ideaswith, not just a one-sided lecture.
ENFPThe possibility of someone new.
ENFPs love the exciting beginning of a relationship, with all the ups and downs that accompany this new start. This isn’t to say that they are incapable of being in a steady relationship-merely that those initial feelings are some of an ENFP’s favorite.
ISFPThe possibility of understanding.
ISFPs march to the beat of their own drum, and while this suits them most of the time, there are times when they wish for someone to really get them. Finding someone who was not only interested in the things they love but also understood and appreciated their passions would be like hitting the jackpot for the ISFP.
ESTJThe possibility of a laugh.
While people often see the ESTJ as a take-charge, commanding personality, this type actually likes having their world turned upside down (if only so they can right it once more). Many ESTJs have hidden senses of humor, even if they don’t often show it, and a sense of humor is often what draws them to other people.
ESFJThe possibility of standing out.
ESFJs love being both different as well as the center of attention. This extends into what excites them about a potential new partner, with the “socialness” of a new partner being key in judged suitability. ESFJs are so gregarious they simply wouldn’t appreciate a partner they didn’t feel proud of.
INFJThe possibility of knowledge.
INFJs love to learn, especially about their loved ones as they feel that this breeds true connection (something that is very important to INFJs). A partner that clams up about personal topics would probably not be seen as a potential partner for very long in the eyes of the INFJ.
ENTPThe possibility of growth.
ENTPs often feel that they are on a never-ending journey to be “good enough” and this often translates into a disinterest in people they feel have it “all figured out”. This is not to say that they are searching for someone with huge issues, as their desire for development not about fixing someone else; rather, it’s about growing together.
ISTJThe possibility of a future.
This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows an ISTJ, they are future-focused in every aspect of their life, potential partnerships included. Whether they look to see themselves getting married, having children, or growing old with someone, they will likely abandon any relationship with a large likelihood of failure.
ESTPThe possibility of excitement.
ESFPs are all about having a good time, and they are not about to let a partner get in the way. This is not to say that they are unfaithful partners, rather that they will not tolerate a lot of restrictions or boredom. They look for someone who promises the opposite of these traits, someone who seems to offer both companionship as well as a party.
ISTPThe possibility of the end of dating.
While ISTPs can fear commitment, it doesn’t mean they don’t hate dating, indeed it can be one of an ISTPs least favorite parts of life, seeing the process as dull and agitating. They look forward to the promise of moving on to the next stage, given that their partner allows them plenty of breathing room.
ESFPThe possibility of fun.
ESFPs love to have a vibrant social life, and any potential partner should not only be a willing participant but should also provide an additional circle of friends to add to their group. This is mainly because ESFPs want to feel that a romantic relationship adds to their life, rather than secreting them away from it.
INTJThe possibility of wildness.
INTJs are extremely controlled in everything they do, and while some might think this level of control extends to their romantic relationships, this isn’t typically the case. Indeed, INTJs often love the way their partners shun social morays in favor of being true to themselves, and a sense of the unconventional is often what first attracts the INTJ.
ISFJThe possibility of happiness.
This is not to paint ISFJs as essentially unhappy, indeed this type is usually very positive, rather than negative people tire the ISFJ out very quickly. Because of this, they are intrigued by people that seem to radiate a sense of peaceful happiness, it promises them a future in which they can focus on more than fixing someone else (a pitfall that ISFJs are often afraid of).
INFPThe possibility of direction.
INFPs are dreamers and drifters, and most of the time this suits them. However, many INFPs have an underlying sense of stress that comes from being unsure of how to really get the things that they truly want. This often translates into a desire for a partner with a more take-charge attitude.
ENTJThe possibility of a companion.
ENTJs are independent, but this doesn’t mean that they are not looking for someone that they can trust to be there 100% when the ENTJ needs them. This is not to say that they are not looking for something exciting, merely that the base of what they are looking for is someone who will “walk beside them”.
ENFJThe possibility of progress.
ENFJs look for partners that can provide something that the ENFJs cannot provide themselves. This is not to paint them as harsh realists, but rather showcasing how achieving they typically are. They do not want a partner that feels insignificant or insecure in light of their accomplishments and as such will look for partners who can at least match them.
You’re not supposed to miss work, because you stayed up the whole night crying in a bed littered with tissues. You’re supposed to stay up late with your partner, driving around town while singing annoying pop songs you’ll have stuck in your head until morning.
You’re not supposed to feel like you’re on the edge of a breakup after you have a fight. You’re supposed to come out of the experience feeling even more comfortable and secure in your relationship than before, because you were able to work through your problems together.
You’re not supposed to question your beauty when your partner fails to notice that you’ve changed your hair. You’re supposed to feel beautiful, even when your skin is dry and your nose is dripping, because your partner reminds you of how sexy you are on the daily.
You’re not supposed to worry about looking desperate by double texting your partner throughout the day. You’re supposed to feel comfortable texting them ten times in a row and filling the screen with heart emojis, because you know they’ll find it more cute than creepy.
You’re not supposed to get anxiety before going on a date, because you’re not sure if your partner is going to be in a good mood or not. You’re supposed to feel comfortable with them twenty-four-seven, whether you’re seeing them one-on-one or heading to a huge party together.
You’re not supposed to feel like a sex object that your partner keeps around, just so they can orgasm without using their own hands. You’re supposed to be best friends who enjoy watching cartoons and going bowling as much as they enjoy getting naked.
You aren’t supposed to feel so self-conscious during sex that you keep half your clothes on and fake your orgasms. You’re supposed to feel sexy standing in front of your partner buck naked and should orgasm as often as they do.
You’re not supposed to feel like your heart has been torn out after your partner cheats on you with a friend that you introduced them to. They’re supposed to be so loyal that they wouldn’t even dream of staring at a stranger’s ass when they could be staring into your eyes.
You’re not supposed to force your partner to take pictures that you can put up on Instagram, so you can fool the world into believing you’re the perfect couple. You’re supposed to take pictures you’re both excited to take, and keep them in a scrapbook that’s meant for your eyes only.
You’re not supposed to stress yourself out by wondering if your partner likes you as much as you like them. You’re supposed to know for certain how they feel, because they don’t hesitate to say those three little words, even if their friends are around to hear.
You’re not supposed to be heartbroken when your partner inevitably fucks up and leaves you all alone. You’re supposed to find someone that wants to be with you for the rest of their life, and makes sure that your happily ever after actually happens.
Recently, a woman on TikTok asked other women whether living with men would be something she could look forward to in her life. Amidst over eight thousand comments, all the top and most endorsed comments overwhelmingly said, “Absolutely not!” But the most surprising part of this? Many of the commenters saying “No” were none other than currently married women themselves! See below for some of what married women had to say about marriage and cohabiting with men below. You can also read all eight thousand comments which overwhelmingly said no on the original TikTok.
“Happily married here. And I say this without weirdness — but if he dies first (and he knows this) — I will not do it again.”
“Absolutely not!!! No! Partnership can be lovely but I would strongly recommend keeping your own personal space and keeping your finances separate.”
“He needs to be incredibly amazing, loves you more than you love him and always wants to make you happy… other than that it’s a hard NO.”
“I love my husband with my whole heart but he will be the last man in my life.”
“At the beginning of my relationship, I would have said “Yes!! It’s the best.” Now 10 years in I say “Keep everything separate. Do not live with a man no matter how in love you think you are.”
“No. A great handyman that comes and fixes things and you give him money and he leaves is top-tier.”
Other commenters who were also previously married jumped in agreement, stating that they felt more peace living alone than they ever did cohabiting with a man or being married. Some commenters advised the TikToker to get separate residences and keep finances separate. A few said they loved their husband and enjoyed living with him but would never marry again if it had to be with a different man, reflecting the current state of the dating pool.
It is clear women on average have not been having a good time in marriage or cohabitation, likely due to the disparity in the emotional and domestic labor they are expected to provide in marriage. A wealth of research also shows that women fare worse on average in marriage than men, often becoming more psychologically distressed and not happier or healthier as the marriage continues, contrary to popular myth. Social media has allowed us to peer through the veil and hear married women share their stories fearlessly to help other women prevent the same mistakes. The lesson here? Marry a high quality man if you do want to marry and don’t settle for less. Many women are much happier single than in a toxic or incompatible relationship. Otherwise, you’re far better off sticking to your standards and living peacefully on your own or in separate residences from your partner until you’re absolutely certain this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
You. Yes, you. Are you loved the way you ought to be loved? Are you satisfied with yourself and does your partner make you feel whole? Does your partner realize that they should be WORTHY to be with you? If you answered “no” to these questions then this quick read is for you.
Don’t settle for a love that you think might make you happy. Live for a love that DOES make you happy. You are worth the moon and the stars and the universe in between. If your partner doesn’t realize that, remind them or walk away.
Remind yourself that you are priceless and that you should never settle for anyone that makes you feel inferior. After all, you are special, unique, and exquisite. Why would you ever settle for someone who would so quickly sell you short?
Know in your heart that you are worth it. You are worth the time. You are worth the effort. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t put in either.
Show yourself that you are strong enough to be on your own. Don’t stay with someone out of forceful habit or a fear of being alone. Remind yourself that you could be better off.
Take the time to write down the reasons why you love yourself. Then write down how your partner supports these reasons. Write down how you feel when you are alone and how you feel when you are with your partner. Do you feel at peace? Do you feel stressed?
Evaluate how your partner truly makes you feel. Do you feel one way when you are together? And another when you are apart? You should never wonder where you and your partner stand. Instead, you should KNOW that they are excited to be with you. You should KNOW how much they enjoy your company. You are worth feeling secure and empowered in your relationship.
Be kind to you. When you settle, you are incredibly gracious to your partner. They can do the bare minimum, while you put in most of the effort. Instead, remind yourself that you need to be kind to yourself as well. Critically ask yourself if you are being kind when you are with your partner.
Remind yourself that others want to be with you and like being around you. Why would you settle on one thing when there is a vast oasis of possibilities awaiting you? You are worth the best life has to offer. With this, you should feel your best in return.
Lastly, love and respect yourself enough to walk away. Do the hard thing this time around. Don’t wait for them to end it, don’t let them get tired or bored. Take a stand and show them that you are stronger than they thought. You are worth far more than they are giving you. Show them that they simply don’t deserve you.
Leave your brain at the door and fill up on popcorn for Twisters.
Cows best seek shelter in basements, because Lee Isaac Chung’s Twisters storms its way into the summer blockbuster season. The standalone sequel to Jan de Bont’s now-legendary 1996 disaster movie promises more tornadoes, more carnage, and more brainless protagonists than ever before. The best part about it? It’s everything the audience demands from the cinema experience.
Twisters harkens back to the golden age of disaster moviesVolcano. Deep Impact. Dante’s Peak. Armageddon. Twister, of course. The ’90s was alive with the sound of disaster movies. Audiences couldn’t get enough as on-screen heroes fought asteroids, volcanoes, and tornadoes. It was man versus nature – with man triumphing in the end, but not before an insurmountable amount of heartbreak and tragedy is felt along the way. In 2024, Twisters replicates this successful formula. It’s about as deep as the first step in a splash pool, choosing peril over ponder, but by golly gosh in a field of corn, it hits every single sweet spot of its predecessors.
Universal PicturesDaisy Edgar-Jones’ Kate experiences the worst kind of loss in her college years. Through her research, she harbors grand ambition to change the world by looking into the eye of the storm and stopping it. Instead, she loses her boyfriend and a few close friends after her plan fails. Five years pass, and Javi (Anthony Ramos) – one of the survivors of the tornado and Kate’s friend – finds her and offers a second chance at redemption. A reluctant Kate accepts his offer, but their tornado-studying experience is interrupted by notorious storm-chaser and YouTube celebrity Tyler Owen (Glen Powell). With different philosophies and different motives, it isn’t only the tumultuous weather conditions that the characters need to contend with.
If it sounds like every other disaster movie’s plot… Well, it is. This isn’t a story from the mind of Billy Wilder or Robert Towne. It’s a basic setup to bookend what everyone is truly here for: The pulsating action and endless destruction orchestrated by director Lee Isaac Chung. Daisy Edgar-Jones and Glen Powell’s names adorn the film poster, but the real stars are the tornadoes that hold the lyrics of Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” close to their wild hearts. From the fiery explosions to cars catapulting through the air and even a film theater having its screen replaced by the visuals of the storm, it’s endless danger here – and that’s exactly how it should be.
Dumb people doing dumb thingsWith the disaster being the hook, the characters prove to be secondary. The same holds true for Twisters. Sure, there’s a shimmer of a love story between Edgar-Jones’ Kate and Powell’s Tyler, while Ramos’ Javi plays a third wheel, but their arcs venture into a telegraphed and highly predictable territory. At the same time, how can anyone root for these fools? While Kate holds noble intentions about helping the world to contain storms, Tyler loves to race into tornadoes and set off fireworks, because YouTube views. These are the kind of characters that walk into dark basements in horror movies and are surprised when a killer is hiding in the shadows.
Universal PicturesIsn’t that what they should be like in disaster movies, though? Imagine how boring these films would be if everyone did the responsible thing and followed instructions. It’s thanks to their ignorant and irresponsible actions that we are entertained and have so many memorable scenes to savor. (A special shout-out to the mouthy character played by James Paxton who decides to drive his car into the violent tornado when everyone told him to get to safety instead.) These hellraising individuals present themselves as intelligent human beings discussing complex meteorological theories, but they possess the EQ skills of trolls discussing Marvel movies on Reddit. Bless them.
But is it cinema?Legends like Martin Scorsese bemoan the state of cinema and what modern-day audiences choose to see in theaters. The simple fact is this: People aren’t prepared to head out of their homes for anything less than a spectacle today. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but the way of watching films has changed significantly. It’s impossible to not get into a fistfight in theaters nowadays as some social media influencer feels that’s the appropriate place to film their content and provide a running (and inaccurate) commentary to what’s on screen. Resultantly, it’s a tough sell to get butts in seats. A surefire way, though, is to provide a movie that doesn’t allow people the time or place to reach for their phones – look, a few bozos still will, but it’ll be far less than the number of people sitting through cerebral films such as Killers of the Flower Moon.
Twisters – especially in a format like 4DX – becomes a must-see cinematic event. Maybe it’s shallow. Maybe it’s brainless. Yet, no one can deny the thrills of the experience as it encapsulates the bonkers spirit of ’90s and the fever-pitch excitement of the blockbuster season. It’s Jurassic Park with tornadoes as it takes the audience on a wild journey, sucking them into the storm on screen and making them forget everything for two hours. It’s the purest, most uninhibited form of entertainment, and who can fault that? Sorry, Marty – but Twisters is C-I-N-E-M-A in 2024.
What if you could inhabit another reality where you were a different version of yourself? Perhaps you had a different career, mindset, appearance, or attitude. Maybe you lived in a different city, had a different relationship or had a brand-new wardrobe that reflected this other version of you. Movies and television shows that explore parallel realities, alternate universes, past lives, time travel, or even encountering alternate versions of “you,” use such themes to explore the infinite possibilities of the self and the universe, and the impact of our choices and their ability to shape our reality. Here are seven mind-bending movies and television shows about parallel realities, including the award-winning movie Everything Everywhere All At Once, that are sure to captivate and move you.
CoherenceCoherence takes place on the special night of a comet during a gathering of eight friends at a dinner party. Unbeknownst to them, this comet is the malevolent influence that will make them aware that other parallel universes exist and lead to a fight for survival among the different versions of the main characters that they come into contact with. Talk about having a fight club with your own doppelgangers. This movie has a disturbing plot twist ending that will leave you thinking about it for days. Given that it was a low-budget film, it is amazing to see how such simple settings were used to depict unbearable tension, intrigue, and mystery throughout the film. Much of the movie’s thrill relies on dialogue and subtle shifts that captivate the audience.
The MatrixIn the famous sci-fi action thriller The Matrix, Neo discovers that humanity has been subjugated by intelligent machines and that he has been living in a simulated reality with his body trapped in a pod as an energy source for the new regime. He must find a way to fight back against the Agents and Sentinels and get back to his authentic reality. The movie delivers a poignant message about self-awakening because in order for Neo to fight back he must “take the red pill” and wake up to the nature of his own reality or choose to live blissfully unaware in an illusion – he must take back control over his own agency and life.
Everything Everywhere All At OnceStarring Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All At Once is an Oscar-winning deeply moving film about a mother-daughter relationship that is tested with protagonist Evelyn Quan Wang who is seemingly living out her “worst” timeline in an arena of possibilities in the multiverse. Not only is she being audited by the IRS (another meaningful message of the movie is that the IRS is a diabolical, evil force in every possible reality, in my opinion), she has a strained relationship with her daughter and her husband is about to serve her divorce papers. But when she is inhabited by a force from the “Alphaverse,” she learns that another Evelyn in a different parallel reality created verse-jumping technology that allowed other versions of herself to access skills, memories, and the bodies of the different “Evelyns” across universes and the multiverse. The “Alpha” version of her daughter, Joy, however, threatens to destroy this multiverse as she has created a black hole after learning how to jump through universes with exquisite skill.
Throughout the movie, Evelyn jumps through different realities where she is more successful than she is in her current reality – whether she is a kung fu master or a film star – and is tempted by what could be and could have been. Ultimately, however, her husband Waymond delivers one of most powerful lines in the film, saying, “I would have really just liked doing laundry and taxes to you,” in the reality where she is a famous movie star who never married. Using her husband’s lesson of being kind even in a supposedly meaningless universe, Evelyn uses her empathy and love for her family to try to save her daughter and fights to restore balance across all universes.
The Butterfly EffectIn The Butterfly Effect, the impact of even our tiniest decisions and their ability to affect the trajectory of our lives is brilliantly explored. Evan Treborn has the power to time travel connected to his mysterious blackouts and amnesia from trauma, but he soon finds out that changing the past always has unintended consequences, causing him to live through numerous realities where he recognizes both the benefits and consequences of making different decisions. Getting to the “right” reality with the best outcomes takes much effort and strategy, but as the movie shows, sometimes getting to the “dream timeline” after exploring all your possibilities is worth it.
Dark MatterBased on the international NYTimes bestseller by Blake Crouch, Dark Matter is an limited series Apple TV adaptation about a quantum physicist who gets taken by another “alternate reality” version of himself. Former quantum mechanics physicist Jason Dessen, is drugged and kidnapped, wakes up in a science lab and stumbles out of a metal box, only to enter an alternate universe in Chicago where he never married the woman of his dreams and instead decided to pursue his career as a physicist. As Jason begins to experiment with the box that allows him to sift through different realities and timelines, he learns that the universe is filled with infinite possibilities and that our choices dictate our reality – but some possibilities are far too dark and disturbing to explore.
The FlashIn television series The Flash starring the lovable Grant Gustin, Barry Allen is a crime scene investigator who develops superhuman speed due to an explosion from the S.T.A.R. Labs particle accelerator. However, as other “speedsters” and the “Reverse Flash” from parallel universes in the multiverse come into his reality to try to stop him from saving the world, Barry is forced to create alternate timelines and recruit the gifts and talents of other “versions” of himself and people in the multiverse to maintain balance. He also sifts between past, present, and future throughout the television series, and learns that in trying to stop traumatic events from occurring in the past, he changes his own destiny and who he was meant to become.
InceptionInception, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, explores different realities through the mindscape of dream creation and infiltration. In Inception, infiltrating other people’s minds becomes a form of corporate espionage as characters Cobb (played by DiCaprio) and Arthur use “dream-sharing” technology to extract information from their targets, entering people’s dreams and uncovering their secrets. Throughout the movie, there are beautifully masterful “world-building” scenes in the film to depict the process of dream infiltration and the different realities that can be shaped and molded, and even built and lived in, in line with the idea of “we create our own reality.” Yet some worlds should never have been built, as we discover that DiCaprio’s character Cobb is also dealing with a past trauma regarding the way his wife’s mind becomes tainted by living in her dream world rather than her reality. The secrets of his past are locked in his own subconscious and it “leaks out” throughout the film, allowing viewers to only piece together the horrifying truth at the end. This movie is both a psychological thriller and a cinematic masterpiece, penetrating deeply into the depths of the human psyche.
Despite airing its series finale over 30 years ago, The Golden Girls remains one of the most famous sitcoms to date. With four clearly defined characters — each boasting unique quirks, conflicts, and tendencies— and an ensemble overflowing with talent, the show is a timeless masterpiece that leaves us laughing hysterically upon each rewatch. The writing is clever, the insults are sharp and damning, and the tender moments are heartfelt and authentic. And, of course, the social commentary surrounding feminism, aging, the LGBTQ+ community, animal rights, and more is way ahead of its time.
Over the show’s 180 half-hour episodes, several memorable lines came slipping from the mouths of our favorite protagonists, and they have since become pop culture catchphrases. So, let’s reminisce…
“Picture it: Sicily.” Whenever Sophia uttered these three words, we were in for quite the tale. Her anecdotes —colorful, exaggerated, and humorous — often contained a lesson beneath all the whimsy. She set the stage and transported not only her fellow housemates to a nostalgic time and place but also all of us viewers at home.
With a bit of the impossible and a heaping helping of cultural references, these moments worked to further define Sophia’s character and impart kernels of wisdom. “Picture it: Sicily” has since become a humorous way for fans of the sitcom to recount personal tales with a dramatic flair.
“Shady Pines, Ma.” Before living with Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche, Sophia resided at the Shady Pines Nursing Home — where she was quite miserable. Whenever Sophia pushed Dorothy too much — getting under her skin with backhanded comments or maternal nagging — Dorothy uttered these three words as a threat. “Test me,” she was implying, and I’ll send you right back to all the Nurse Ratcheds at Shady Pines. If you have a solid rapport with your parents (or grandparents), you can use this one when they get a little testy.
“Hi, It’s me Stan.” Dorothy’s ex-husband Stan frequently started his phone calls or in-person greetings with this phrase. It was always a foot in the door — a subtle attempt at reconciliation that was always met with a bit of vitriol from Dorothy. Yet, the unnecessary introduction suggested Stan’s fear and hesitance — and always served to set Dorothy up for a glorious zinger.
“Eat dirt and die, trash.” Easily one of Blanche’s most creative and sassy insults, this was Ms. Devereaux’s way of dismissing someone she was conversing with, or should we say arguing with? It’s the last-word insult that can’t be one-upped. It’s Blanche’s no-nonsense, shoulders-back expression of superiority (polite decorum be damned) surging to the surface in moments of unbridled aggravation. And it’s oh so delicious. Want to end an argument, and walk away with a brazen stride? Try this Blanche line on for size.
“Back in St. Olaf…”This is Rose’s version of “Picture it: Sicily” but her stories feature a lot more oddball customs and traditions, as well as characters and animals who defy the laws of science. Who could forget the man who was so tall he slept in shifts — his upper body would sleep as his lower body remained awake to tend to the farm? Or, what about the invisibility cloak that only worked on mice? These stories were so ridiculous yet Betty White delivered them with such conviction and faith — only adding to the humor. These stories work to highlight Rose’s unique worldly perspective, underscoring just how far from the norm her approach to life was.
“I’m not a slut. I’ve been very selective.” Blanche’s cheeky response when questioned about her sexual escapades, this line reveals her laissez-faire attitude toward boudoir adventures. She was proud of the life she led. She was very aware that she had her fun, but her standards were right where they belonged..at the top of the highest mountain. It’s a playful retort that further characterizes Blanche, and also comes in handy for anyone who may be questioned about a little promiscuity. However, in 2023, slut-shaming should just be shut down.
“Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.” Aww poor Rose, she just sometimes doesn’t connect the dots correctly, but that’s why we love her. After they are robbed, Dorothy notes that a crappy sliding lock and “massive unemployment” are to blame. Rose explained that three of the four people in their house are employed, so she wouldn’t label Sophia’s lack of employment contribution “massive,” to which Dorothy utters this line. It’s a classic line that is perfect for insulting someone’s dim-witted nature.
“I’m not one to blow my own vertubenflugen.”Rose’s St.Olaf-ied version of “I’m not one to blow my own horn” is one of the character’s funniest catchphrases. She utters this before noting one of her many past achievements (often bizarre in nature), so as to not seem cocky. The line adds to Rose’s charm and naivete and works to do exactly what she desires — remove any sense of arrogance from the declaration.
“Flirting is part of my heritage.” Blanche often referenced her Southern upbringing and the many qualities she possessed as a result of her childhood. Flirting, she declared, is just in line with all that Southern hospitality everyone’s always talking about. It’s a perfect excuse — it can’t exactly be denied, nor can it totally be validated. It works for Blanche. It works for us. Let the girl flirt. She isn’t hurting anyone.
Rose: “Can I ask a dumb question?” Dorothy: “Better than anyone I know.”This memorable interaction between Rose and Dorothy perfectly captures the dynamic between these two. Dorothy loves Rose (and vice versa), yet Rose’s naivete and simple-minded ways definitely frustrate Dorothy from time to time, who is quite an intelligent woman. If ever your friend asks if they can ask a dumb question, this is the perfect retort…as long as they have a good sense of humor and don’t get easily offended.
This article contains spoilers.
Viewers enjoy plot twist endings – the type of endings that disrupt our expectations and subvert our perception of the direction we thought the movie or television show was going to take. Psychological thrillers tend to have the most well-crafted plot twists, as they build suspense over time through the psyche of the characters and their deteriorating sense of reality. Behind Her Eyes is a limited television series on Netflix based on a popular novel and it has a plot twist nobody could have ever predicted in their lifetime. What you thought to be a typical “husband has an affair with his co-worker” storyline is completely turned upside its head when single mother Louise, gets involved with a man named David, and establishes an intriguing friendship with his wife, Adele. The tension builds slowly as we find out Adele’s secrets are even darker than David’s, and that they may in fact (spoiler alert) be supernatural. We can safely say this is one plot twist that will keep your jaw on the floor well beyond the ending of the movie and you will never predict what is in store for you. Here are seven more of the best psychological thriller movies and television shows with the biggest plot twists of all time you can watch if you liked watching Behind Your Eyes.
Tell Me Your SecretsTell Me Your Secrets is a suspenseful psychological thriller television series that will keep you up at night and it has one of the most shocking plot twist endings of all time. Karen Miller (Lily Rabe) is the ex-partner of notorious serial killer Kit Parker with whom she shared a fairytale romance. She is suspected by society to also be his partner in crime, but it is not clear whether that is fact, fiction, or gossip. Due to the traumas she’s experienced, Karen suffers from large gaps in her memory that prevent her from knowing how involved she was in Kit’s murders of various women, but as she begins to get gradual flashbacks of the night of one of the murders, she is also tracked down by the mother of one of Kit’s victims seeking answers. Plot twist: in the end, it is discovered that Kit may not be the biggest predator in the series, but it’s not Karen we should be worrying about – it is someone we would never suspect.
Another GirlThis movie is a sequel to Ask Me Anything, and it’s a highly underrated psychological thriller with one of the most chilling plot twists of all time. The first movie, Ask Me Anything (which is also well worth watching) follows a young woman, Katie Kampenfelt, who writes a popular blog that transparently details her love life and unconventional sex life with different older men. At the end of the otherwise “light-hearted” movie, Katie goes missing, never to be seen again, and all the men she talked about are suspects. Another Girl follows where Ask Me Anything left off, with a fan of Katie’s, Elle, being contacted by a stranger online who claims to be her. Elle develops a relationship with the mysterious online stranger, and throughout the movie we learn more about the struggles in her life and her vulnerabilities. Viewers wait with bated breath to see who this stranger really is and whether is truly Katie on the other line, but the ending holds a plot twist that is so downright terrifying you will think about it long after you’ve watched it.
The Sixth SenseThe Sixth Sense is a classic example of a movie with the biggest plot twist of all time. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) is a child psychologist treating a patient who claims to see and hear dead people. Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) is haunted by his supernatural gift. Malcolm is gradually turned into a believer as he guides Cole to use his supernatural abilities to aid other “ghost” children like Kyra Collins gain justice for the traumatizing circumstances surrounding their deaths. The plot twist? Malcolm is a ghost himself, and that is why he is able to talk to Cole in the first place.
Shutter IslandShutter Island is another classic movie with a stunning plot twist. Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a U.S. Marshall who, along with his partner Chuck Aule, go on a ferry boat to Shutter Island, so they can investigate the disappearance of a patient, Rachel Solando, at Ashecliffe Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Rachel is a mother imprisoned for drowning her three children. Teddy is also on a side mission to find the man who murdered his wife while at the hospital, a man he believes to be Andrew Laeddis. The plot twist: unfortunately for Teddy, this secret “mission” may all be in his head, and he is far more acquainted with the Ashecliffe Hospital than viewers might assume – not as a marshall, but as a patient himself, and he has a personal relationship with Rachel Solando that makes his story a tragic one. When I first watched Shutter Island in theaters, I am proud to say I figured out the plot twist near the beginning of the film. However, it’s still a very unsettling plot twist no matter when you figure it out and one that is sure to spook viewers upon first watch.
Gone GirlIn the beginning of the movie Gone Girl, we are led to believe that Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) who has disappeared may have been murdered by her husband Nick (Ben Affleck) and that we may actually be hearing her narration from beyond the grave. As we “read” the diary entries of Amy and are thrust into their love story, and follow present-day events as Nick is investigated for her disappearance, however, we are suddenly pivoted into the fact that Amy is actually still alive, and is actively framing her cheating husband for her murder. But an even darker plot twist? This is not the first man Amy has targeted and it likely won’t be her last.
SearchingIn the movie Searching, David Kim (John Cho) investigates the disappearance of his daughter Margot. This cyber-thriller is filmed primarily on computers, laptops, phones, and uses Facetime, news media, and videos to build suspense and tension, making it an even more intense ride for the viewer. The movie features many red herrings until we finally find out the culprit behind Margot’s disappearance, and even before we discover the culprit, there are minor plot twists leading up to the grand finale. For example, David finds out that Margot filmed videos for a streaming site called YouCast, he begins to suspect a friend on the site, Hannah, who lives in a different state. In one of the movie’s first creepy plot twists, David sees Hannah’s photo being used on the memorial site for his still missing daughter and realizes she’s a stock model and isn’t truly Margot’s friend. In another, David discovers strange texts between Margot and his brother. But the person behind all of it is someone much closer and more shocking than we would ever suspect.
Where The Crawdads SingThis cinematic masterpiece and drama psychological thriller follows the life of a young outcast, Kya, known as “Marsh Girl,” who has been accused of murdering Chase Andrews, a popular quarterback. Kya (Daisy Edgar-Jones), who raised herself after being abandoned by her family in the marshes of North Carolina, is misled with false promises of a relationship into sleeping with Chase, only to later discover he is engaged to another woman. However, when she tries to let the relationship go, Chase becomes violent and destructive. Throughout the film, we are led to believe Kya may be innocent due to her alibi, but the truth of what really happened the night of Chase’s murder comes to light at the end with a plot twist that is riveting and satisfying for viewers.
If you’re looking to meet new people and have casual sex in the back of a bar, dating is fun and stress-free. But if you’re looking for something serious, good luck to you. It’s not going to be as easy as it used to be. This is why dating is so hard for those of us who want something real.
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Dating isn’t dating anymore.Now, it’s binge-watching Netflix and meaningless fucking and missed opportunities. Even if you’re asked out on an official date, you won’t know it, because it’ll be called “hanging out,” which is the vaguest word in Urban Dictionary. It could mean they want to be friends with you or date you or fuck you. No one knows. You just have to guess what outfit would work the best and pray that you’re right.
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No one wants to get serious while they’re still young.They want to wear makeup in elementary school, have sex in middle school, and move into their own apartment in high school. Marriage is the only thing they don’t want at a young age. They want to be single for as long as possible to keep their options open. Looking for something serious isn’t the norm anymore. It’s the exception.
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We can’t be honest about what we want.We can say that we’re looking for something serious, but we can’t go into too much detail. If we reveal that we’re looking for someone to spend the rest of our lives with, we’ll scare everyone else away. They don’t want to hear that. They want to hear that we want something semi-serious that could potentially turn serious if the planets aligned the right way.
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We’re a generation of skeptics.Half of all marriages end in divorce. Most relationships fail. Love isn’t real. We’re given depressing statistics about love that push us away from real relationships. Most people would rather keep their distance from love than risk getting their heart shattered. That’s why there aren’t that many men and women on the market.
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Too many people are technology-obsessed.We can meet someone on Tinder. We can text them for months. We can even SnapChat pictures of our genitals, and they still won’t ask us to hang out face-to-face, unless they want a hookup. They’re too comfortable with their technology. They’d rather fall asleep next to a phone than another person.
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Everybody’s been fucked over before.There are enough assholes out there to screw over the entire population. That means pretty much everyone you meet will have some sort of baggage. They’re all so terrified of love, because they’ve already been hurt. It might’ve only happened once, but now they’re assuming that every relationship will end the same way, so they don’t even try. They settle for meaningless sex instead.
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We’re meant to follow very specific rules.We shouldn’t text them too much. We shouldn’t sleep with them too early. We shouldn’t come across as too eager. We’re trying to follow a specific set of dating rules, so even if we like someone, it’s impossible to let them know. Society’s guidelines create boundaries that keep us from moving at a natural pace and developing something real.
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Life likes to screw with us.Our friends, who have zero desire to get married or move in with someone, are the ones who will find the love of their life first. That’s just the way the world works. It likes to screw with us. We just have to sit there and take it until destiny decides it’s our turn.
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Assholes get in the way.Liars screw up our plans. We’ll say that we want something real, and then an asshole will swoop in, playing the part. We’ll get with them, and get obsessed with them, only to find out that they were using us for sex or for their own fun and games. It wastes perfectly good time we could’ve spent with someone serious about us.
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We can’t rush fate.All of the people out there who want casual flings will find what they’re looking for. But people like us, people who want something serious, get screwed. We can’t rush things. We can’t force things. We have to go out and talk to people, but we have to be patient at the same time. It’s impossible to tell how much effort we should put in and how much we should leave up to fate.
Throughout childhood we are introduced to the term “bravery” by means of knights in shining armor, fighting and defeating mythical beasts, and saving the day. However, life is far from these fairytales. Today, bravery is speaking your mind. Today, bravery is communicating your intentions. Today, bravery is owning your body and your choices. Let this article empower you to start being brave in your relationship.
Practice Open Communication Never be afraid of your own voice. The best way to tell someone how you feel or what you want is through open communication. In return, your partner should also communicate their feelings and intentions as well. Most importantly, you should feel empowered to speak your mind at all times. Don’t fear healthy confrontation.
Use Your Words Deliberately And With Purpose Your partner should know that your words not only need to be heard, but also need to be understood. Your words should be honest, direct, and purposeful. Make sure that your thoughts and intentions are done with strength and pride.
Stand Up For Yourself Never ever let the person you are dating walk all over you. Unless a literal doormat is reading this article, there is no excuse for your partner to make you feel inferior. Always stand up for yourself and make sure that your voice is heard.
Know Your Self Worth You are an unbelievably beautiful and wonderful gift. Everyone you meet should treat you as such. In a relationship, your partner is lucky to be with you. Find the strength in yourself to see it this way too.
Own Your BodyDespite any blemish, wrinkle, roll, or scar I want you to love and own that beautiful body of yours. Discover an admiration for your image and make sure that your partner appreciates your gloriousness too. Find bravery in loving who you are in your skin.
Own Your ChoicesYour body is your own. Your mind is your own. Find value and strength in owning up to your choices. Whether this means defending your actions or apologizing for them, do so with integrity and confidence.
Be Opinionated While this is not to suggest you should always have the “my way or the highway” attitude, feel comfortable letting your opinion be known. In a relationship there will come times of compromise, but also times when only one person is able to get their way. Pick your battles, but stay true to your opinions and your beliefs.
Question The Things Around YouAllow yourself to brave enough that you don’t always accept the status quo. Bring up issues in your relationship and question how you and your partner can improve. While there is no “perfect” relationship, progress never occurs if you or your partner is complacent.
Trust Your GutBe brave enough that you actually trust your gut. Confidently decide how your partner makes you feel and trust yourself enough to know that you deserve the absolute best.
Never SettleNever be with someone just to be with someone. Your fear of being alone should not make its way into your relationships. Find the bravery and the confidence to know that you CAN be alone.
Be Proud Of Who You AreBe brave. Be bold. Be so unapologetically you. Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Regardless of who your partner is, never lose “you” in your relationship.
It’s been 20 years since this Hilary Duff rom com came out–and it’s STILL one of the best romantic comedies of the last few decades.
If you were to track the amount of times I’ve watched every romantic comedy, there are certain films that top the frequency list. Bangers and classics like The Holiday, You’ve Got Mail, and The DUFF are up there, but none of that would be a surprise. Alas, perhaps the tippy top of my list is a totally underrated Hilary Duff rom com–and today marks 20 years since it came out. We’re of course talking about the text message-filled Cinderella retelling, A Cinderella Story starring Duff and Chad Michael Murray. Here’s why it’s a classic and why it’s criminal if you still haven’t seen it after all these years.
Who doesn’t want to fall in love online?A Cinderella Story is like a cross between a classic Cinderella retelling and the anonymous online love of You’ve Got Mail. Rather than just meeting the love of her life at a ball (although that does happen, too, thanks to the high school costume dance), it instead starts on the Internet. Sam has connected with someone online and all she knows about him is that he goes to her school and he loves poetry. They fall for each other online without pictures, but with words. It’s like you’ve removed all the gross swiping of 2024 and replaced it with adorableness.
THIS is 2000s fashion.Warner Bros.2000s fashion is back according to my TikTok FYP. But while today’s “youngsters” are wearing their low-rise boot cut jeans and low-slung fashion belts, they aren’t exactly accurately repping the era. If you want fashion, just look to Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story. You can’t get much more authentically y2k than her layered tees.
The plot is so obvious, and that’s okay.You’d expect a well-worn plot from a classic fairytale retelling–especially when it matches the vibe of a movie smack dab in the middle of the golden era of romantic comedies. Sam and Austin have been texting anonymously online and quietly falling for each other. When they agree to meet at the school dance, she dons a mask at the last minute for fear that he’ll be disappointed. Now he’s dead set on returning the bejeweled flip phone she accidentally left behind.
Indeed, you get the loner girl falling for the star football player. You get the guy who doesn’t recognize her even though he sees her literally every day. You get the “I’m not like other girls, I eat cheeseburgers” conversation. And yet…for some reason, even though A Cinderella Story is cliché, that’s okay. These are beloved tropes for a reason.
Jennifer Coolidge is the evil stepmother we didn’t know we needed.Warner Bros.She’s silly, she’s bright, she’s colorful, and she’s an icon. Jennifer Coolidge is a master when it comes to the evil stepmother. Does she want loads of salmon for her weird all-salmon diet? Definitely. And does she want Sam to work at her dad’s former diner forever, always under her pink-nailed thumb? Of course.
It has that certain something that has never been recaptured (although they definitely tried).Is the acting great? Is it at all believable? Not really, but that’s not why we’re here. We’re celebrating A Cinderella Story’s 20th anniversary not because it was an Oscar-worthy teen rom com masterpiece, but because it hit all the right beats at exactly the right time. Even though the tech is dated and the evil stepsisters are anachronistally cringe, everything coalesced for this to become a classic that works decades later. Of course, they couldn’t capture the lightning in a bottle for the four–FOUR!–easily forgotten sequels, but we should all be thankful that Hilary Duff still graced our screens with this cute little flick.
You can watch A Cinderella Story on Amazon Video.
Whether you’re a fiery Aries or a balanced Libra, your zodiac sign can reveal what kind of action movie will get your adrenaline pumping. Here’s a breakdown of the perfect action blockbusters based on your astrological sign!
We all love an action movie rush — the heart-pounding scenes and unforgettable heroes. But have you ever thought about which action movie speaks to your zodiac sign?From the fiery Aries to the mysterious Scorpio, certain action movies perfectly mirror sign traits and preferences. So, if you’re looking for a thrilling adventure that fits your astrological identity, here’s our breakdown of the best action movies for each zodiac Sun sign.
Aries: ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ (2015)Warner Bros.Aries, which are ruled by Mars (the planet of war and energy), thrive on action, making Mad Max: Fury Road an ideal fit. The reboot’s intense pace and relentless action align with Aries’ adventurous and daring spirit. Aries are natural leaders, much like the characters in the movie who boldly take charge in chaotic situations. Their competitive nature and desire for challenges are mirrored in the film’s high-stakes narrative. Aries’ straightforward and assertive personality is also reflected in the clear-cut, no-holds-barred approach of Mad Max’s heroes.
Taurus: ‘Die Hard’ (1988)20th Century FoxTauruses, known for their practicality and determination, may find a kindred spirit in Die Hard. This classic action film embodies the Taurus qualities of resilience and steadfastness, as seen in its unyielding protagonist, John McClane. Tauruses appreciate a methodical approach to problem-solving, a trait mirrored in McClane’s strategies to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. The film’s straightforward narrative aligns with Taurus’s dislike for unnecessary complications. Taurus, an earth sign, also values material security and physical comfort, themes subtly echoed in the heroes’ quest to restore order and safety.
Gemini: ‘The Bourne Identity’ (2002)Gemini’s adaptability and intellectual curiosity find a perfect match in The Bourne Identity. Hero Jason Bourne (Matt Damon), with his quick thinking and ability to adapt to rapidly changing situations, mirrors Gemini’s versatile and agile nature. Geminis — ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication — may connect to the movie’s focus on deciphering intelligence. The dual aspects of Bourne’s life, juggling his amnesia and quest for identity, reflect Gemini’s inherent duality. Gemini’s love for variety and stimulation is also mirrored in the film’s diverse locations and intricate plot twists.
Cancer: ‘Skyfall’ (2012)Cancers, known for their emotional depth and connection to the past, will find a kindred spirit in Skyfall. The themes of loyalty and legacy mirror Cancer’s nurturing and sentimental nature. The exploration of Bond’s personal history and vulnerabilities aligns with Cancer’s introspective qualities. Skyfall features themes of protection, mirroring the Cancerian emphasis on security and care for loved ones. The film’s blend of high-stakes action with emotional connection makes it an ideal match for this water sign.
Leo: ‘Black Panther’ (2018)Walt Disney StudiosLeos, known for their regal nature and leadership qualities, will find a profound connection with Black Panther. The film’s portrayal of T’Challa as a noble and charismatic leader mirrors Leo’s natural inclination toward leadership. The movie asserts responsibility and bravery, which echo Leo’s sense of duty and desire for respect. Black Panther‘s blend of action, cultural richness, and commanding presence align with Leo’s love for grandeur and their appreciation for strong, impactful characters.
Virgo: ‘Mission: Impossible – Fallout’ (2018)With their meticulous attention to detail and preference for order, Virgos will appreciate the precision of Mission: Impossible – Fallout. The film’s complex plot and masterful execution mirror Virgo’s analytical and methodical approach to life. Its protagonist, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), exemplifies Virgo’s traits of dedication and problem-solving. Hunt’s strategic thinking reflects Virgos’ preference for efficiency and effectiveness. Add in some larger-than-life action sequence, and Mission: Impossible – Fallout becomes both a fun and intellectually satisfying experience for the Earth sign.
Libra: ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ (2001)Libras, known for their charm and love of balance, will find Ocean’s Eleven to be a perfect cinematic match. This heist film, with its clever plot and charismatic ensemble, reflects Libra’s appreciation for harmony and teamwork. The strategic planning and aesthetic elegance of the film align with Libra’s intellectual and artistic sensibilities. With underlying themes of justice, the movie reflects Libra’s inherent sense of fairness and desire for equilibrium.
Scorpio: ‘John Wick’ (2014)Summit EntertainmentJohn Wick is a perfect match for Scorpios. Keanu Reeves’ character, driven by vengeance and shrouded in mystery, reflects the deep and focused nature of the sign. The hero’s calculated and relentless pursuit of justice aligns with Scorpio’s persistent personality. It delves into complex emotions and moral gray areas, appealing to Scorpio’s interest in the profound aspects of life, making it a fitting movie for the introspective water sign.
Sagittarius: ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ (2014)Walt Disney PicturesGuardians of the Galaxy is the perfect action movie for the spirited and adventurous Sagittarius. This cosmic cinematic journey — led by the charismatic Star-Lord and his eclectic crew — parallels the optimistic and freedom-loving traits synonymous with Sagittarians. The film’s dynamic soundtrack reflects the diverse tastes inherent to this astrological sign. The Guardians’ camaraderie and humor perfectly align with Sagittarians’ spirit of growth and laughter. With its jovial and explorative nature, Guardians of the Galaxy feels like an astrologically tailored cinematic experience for the adventurous Sagittarius.
Capricorn: ‘The Dark Knight’ (2008)Warner Bros.In the shadowy alleys of Gotham City, The Dark Knight emerges as the ideal action movie for the determined and pragmatic Capricorn. Christopher Nolan’s hit film, led by the dark and brooding Batman (Christian Bale), parallels Capricorns’ disciplined and practical nature. The movie’s somber Gotham setting reflects the sign’s dedication and resilience. And Batman’s strong sense of justice mirrors Capricorn’s commitment and responsible nature. The film’s complex narrative, filled with ethical dilemmas, also aligns with Capricorn’s deep sense of duty and moral integrity.
Aquarius: ‘Inception’ (2010)Warner BrosThose born under Aquarius, a sign known for originality and forward-thinking, will be captivated by the innovative and complex narrative in Inception. The film’s exploration of dreams within dreams and its intellectual challenges are a perfect match for the Aquarian love for unconventional ideas and mental stimulation. Aquarians, who often ponder deep philosophical questions and revel in abstract concepts, will appreciate the movie’s layers. The movie’s emphasis on teamwork and collective effort is also a great reflection of Aquarius’ value for community and collaboration.
Pisces: ‘Avatar’ (2009)For Pisces, a visionary and empathetic sign, Avatar stands out as an ideal action film. This visually stunning movie, set in the lush world of Pandora, falls in line with Pisces’ love for beauty and escapism. The themes of connection, spirituality, and protecting the natural world align with Pisces’ compassionate and intuitive nature. Avatar‘s underlying message about understanding and uniting different cultures and entities also echoes the Piscean ideal of empathy and harmony. The film’s blend of action and profound emotional depth provides the perfect balance for this sensitive water sign.
ESFJShow them how special you find them. ESFJs often look for partners they can admire, but at the same time they want that person to find them equally fascinating. They will not take kindly to a partner that is negative about them or seems uncaring.
ESTJHelp make their dreams a reality. ESTJs are doers, but the details can sometimes seem elusive when they start dreaming up a wild new scheme. Someone who is up for anything and can make things happen whenever, wherever will earn the undying admiration of the ESTJ.
INTPKeep up, and stay open-minded. INTPs are an intellectual type and while they do not require much of the romancing that other types enjoy this doesn’t mean that they have no soft spots. INTPs can be swept off their feet (as much as is possible anyway) by someone who is knowledgeable and able to enjoy talking about anything and everything.
ENFPBe able to express your emotions. ENFPs are expressive types, they like to show their love for their partners, and this is what they like most in return. This type is bowled over by classic romantic gestures, flowers, chocolates and poems are the way into their heart.
ISTPBe independent. This doesn’t mean they don’t want you around, just that they want more of a partner in crime than a devoted Shakespearian lover.
ENFJBe the cleverest person in the room. ENFJ’s have high standards, and this extends to finding a witty and intelligent partner. They are often the life of the party but they are often bored meaning they like nothing more than a truly adroit repartee.
INTJShow them how to walk on the wild side. INTJs are great master planners but they can also get stuck in a rut very easily. This doesn’t mean they want someone who will make them do something dangerous, just someone that refuses to fit into the neat boxes INTJ typically like to place people in.
INFPKnow what you want. INFPs often hate their own indecision and usually hang out with people who don’t like making definite judgements either. This means that they find people who can to be a breath of fresh, decisive air.
ENTPBe exciting. ENTPs love someone who seems sparkly, magnetic, and just out of reach. They fear boredom and drudgery and will not want to make emotional connections with people they find “basic”.
INFJBe considerate to their emotions. INFJs are deeply emotional and don’t take kindly to having their feelings pushed aside, ignored or flat out ridiculed. Being understanding but not cloying is the way into the INFJs heart.
ESFPTo be stable without forcing them to tone themselves down. ESFPs are entertainers, they love being the center of attention and having a good time. At the same time they appreciate someone who can keep them on their feet and in check when needed without making them feel trapped.
ISTJKnow not to try to hold them back when they’ve made up their mind about something. ISTJs are naturally cautious, but once they’ve decided to take a risk they’ve decided for good. They will most likely feel upset if you try to stop them because they will feel that you don’t trust their internal conscience (which they almost entirely rely upon).
ISFPShow them that you can be trusted with their innermost thoughts. ISFPs are highly sensitive and often have big imaginations. For an ISFP to let you in is a big deal to them, tread lightly, be appreciative and they will love you forever.
ISFJBe sensible without being negative. ISFJs appreciate sensibility, but they don’t like it when someone just wants to use their genuinely good, upbeat nature as target practice. Be empathetic and help them know that they can reach their goals and you will earn a special place in their heart for life.
ESTPBe able to take a joke. ESTPs often have harsh senses of humor, towards themselves as well as towards others and this means they can’t date someone with a thin skin. Being able to laugh at yourself (as well as them, they don’t mind) will make them really appreciate you.
ENTJBe obsessed with them. ENTJs don’t trust a lot of people, but they have a desire to be able to trust somebody. Because of this, they will love you if you can prove not only trustworthy, but also devoted to them and their trust.
You can’t dip your heart in an anesthetic. You can’t flip off your feelings like a switch. You can’t be the emotionless android that you wish you were. The best you can do is act like you don’t have feelings, but that isn’t going to make life any easier. Pretending you don’t have a heart isn’t going to protect it.
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You can’t lie to yourself.You can lie to your parents when they ask you if there are any nice boys in your life. You can lie to yourself about how you can’t stand men and that marriage is bullshit anyway. You can even ignore those sexy dreams you’ve been having about your coworker that cause you to break out the vibrator on lonely mornings. But deep down, you know the truth.
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There’s no substitute for love.Drugs aren’t going to dull the ache in your heart and neither is that bottle of Jack Daniels. All of those text messages and “likes” on your selfies might hold you over for a while, but by the end of the night you’ll be feeling lonely again. No amount of brown sugar, Scotch, or social media can replace the feeling of true love.
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Relationships aren’t the only way to get hurt.Even if you swear yourself off of relationships, you can still fall victim to heartache. No matter what, you’re going to be interacting with men, which means you might unexpectedly fall in love with the boy next door or your best guy friend. You can run from Cupid, but you can’t hide.
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Being numb isn’t the same as being heartless.Your heart has been damaged. You don’t want to want anyone anymore. That’s why you don’t feel a thing when a man compliments you, asks you out, or even makes you orgasm. But that doesn’t mean you’re heartless. You’re still capable of loving. You’re still capable of being loved. You just need some time to heal before you can use your heart’s full capacity.
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Pain is a part of life.It would be crazy to remain unemployed, because you have a fear of getting fired or to drop out of college, because you have a fear of bad grades. So why would you avoid dating, out of fear of getting dumped? Everything worth having in life comes with its risks. You have to be willing to take them.
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Pushing people away isn’t the answer.Turn down dates with men you’re not interested in. Turn down dates that you know won’t lead to anything. But don’t turn down dates that you know would make you happy, even just for a night. You don’t have to let everyone in, but you have to let somebody in.
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You’re not a robot.You’re not heartless. You’re human. It’s natural for you to have feelings, and it’s dangerous for you to run from them. Crushes aren’t something to be embarrassed about and love isn’t something to be ashamed of. They’re beautiful things. If you gave them another chance, you’d see that.
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You’ll cause the things you’re scared of.You pretend you’re heartless, because you don’t want to get your heart broken. But if you keep turning down potential friends and boyfriends, you’re going to be the one breaking hearts. You’ll become the thing that you hate the most. Is that what you want?
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History doesn’t have to repeat itself.You’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again. There are men out there that will handle your heart with gentle hands. They won’t put you through all the suffering and strain that you’ve come to associate with loving someone.
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You’re strong enough to handle the pain.Even if someone special comes along to “complete you” and then brutally stabs you in the back, you can handle the repercussions. Are you really going to let some silly boy ruin your life? I don’t think so. That’s why you might as well stop pretending that you’re a heartless bitch and give love a shot.
For centuries, women have been gaslit into believing they are “hysterical,” “emotional,” “crazy” and “needy” for having basic needs. That is why whenever you hear a man prematurely call his ex crazy, you have to ask yourself, “Was she really crazy or was she driven there? Was she always reactive or did he poke and prod at her a million times before she finally reacted in a valid way to a pattern of outrageous behavior?” While it’s true that some women may have emotional regulation issues, most of the time, when a man calls a woman “crazy,” “mean,” “domineering,” “confrontational,” what he really means is, “She had basic boundaries and stood up for herself assertively.” A high quality man knows the difference between someone who is actually emotionally unstable and a woman who is simply acquainted with her rights.
So-called “crazy women” are secure women. They are secure in their boundaries and their standards, their expectations, and their self-respect. They stand up for themselves when they’re mistreated and know how to align and enforce their boundaries with their actions.
So what is it about an assertive woman, a “mean” woman as a low quality man may call her, that attracts high quality men? And why aren’t the “cool girl” PickMes who stay silent about their needs ever chosen by this type of man? Here are four secrets you should know about men in general in dating and how to hold tight to your standards to only invite high quality men into your dating life.
Men love and get obsessed with so-called “mean” otherwise known as assertive women and high quality men are especially attracted to these women. Low quality men take advantage of the “nice girls.”You may think being a pick-me woman and being overly nice and spoiling a man will win him over, but the truth is that men in general whether high quality or low quality get addicted to chasing women who reject them. They want validation and approval from the woman who doesn’t give this to them that easily. Deep down they get turned on by a woman with high standards, airtight boundaries, and a woman who doesn’t think they’re shit. They get a hard-on for a woman who is hard to please. They may complain about these women and deny it with fury all they want, but all you have to do is observe how they exploit and use the women who bend over backwards for them and bend the knee for the women who put them in their place. These women value themselves, take pride in themselves, and never sacrifice their self-respect settling for crumbs.
Toxic men especially take for granted the women who care about them because they believe you’ll always be around; they pursue and compete for the women who date other men and laugh in their faces. If you don’t believe me, look at any chat history of a man you have ever ignored – they’ll be double texting and triple texting you trying to regain your attention and fearing that you’ve moved on. This isn’t to say you should be actually mean to anyone – it’s just to remind you that you need to stop wasting all that effort centering men. Don’t spoil him, don’t talk to him, and don’t entertain him unless he’s benefiting you. Be authentically so “into” your life that you are no longer into any man who doesn’t go out of his way to please you. Chances are, he’s busy chasing a woman who gives no fucks. Now get busy chasing your dream life and only settle for a dream partner who will treat you right.
Men can and will spend money on the things that matter to them. Don’t waste time with a man who’s not generous or romantic.If he’s not taking you out to nice and meaningful dates, or being thoughtful about what you would like, he’s not valuing you the way you deserve to be valued. “But I am a feminist and can hold my own!” you might say. A real feminist knows the world hasn’t achieved equality yet, so trying to impose “equality” on unequal circumstances only leads to more adversity for you. High-quality men are more than happy to go out of their way to please and impress women they’re interested in, so you should never feel like you need to settle and play the “cool girl” who is low-maintenance and “easy” to date. With all the burdens, inequality, and safety issues women confront even going on a date with a man who might assault or murder her, why should you settle for less? A woman who is used to being taken out and properly “courted” will feel a natural “ick” toward any man who approaches her and doesn’t have some sort of solid and romantic date plan. Some women may think that going 50-50 is “equality,” but a man who’s okay with not impressing you from the beginning isn’t going to try to impress you down the road either and is likely to be emotionally stingy.
Set the standard early on for how you want to be treated and deserve to be treated. At the very least, even if the man turns out to be toxic, you’re not going to be wasting your time and resources on someone who can’t even meet the bare minimum. I’ve known men who have taken me out to fancy romantic restaurants who I found out later took other women to free museums or “walk” dates because they felt they could get away with it with those women (what the hell even is a walk date? Get a dog). One of these sordid players called me his “favorite.” Cue major ick. But that kind of scenario opens your eyes to how men know very well how to treat a woman right – some just choose not to do so at all, or only do it for certain women. Remember: some men date multiple women at a time and will be looking for a way to do it cheaply with women they’re not serious about or who they feel they can get away with treating worse – don’t ever be that woman. Don’t ever settle for coffee or low-effort dates when there’s a high-quality man out there who can’t wait to spoil you (yes, there are ways to keep yourself safe before meeting someone besides settling for a coffee date: FaceTime and get to know them first before agreeing to a date!). Many women are getting spoiled every day by their partner with amazing dates, gifts, lavish vacations, romantic gestures – you deserve nothing less. If you’re afraid of being called “materialistic,” ask yourself why you feel you don’t deserve to be impressed by the man who supposedly loves you.
Most men in the dating pool are looking to waste your time. So make sure the time you spend on them will be worth it and don’t spend time on people who aren’t worth it.The best way to ward off a covert fckboy? When he inevitably tells you his love language is physical touch, smile, giggle, bat your eyelashes and tell him your love language is money. Then, measure his running speed as he flees. Consider this: too many men in the dating world are just hoping to use you for sex and will waste your time, while accusing you of wasting theirs if you don’t have sex with them. So why do you* feel badly about ensuring they invest in you while they’re potentially wasting your time? Men will expect sex regardless of whether or not they take you out to dinner and whether they spend time getting to know you. So, if you’re unsure of someone’s true intentions, you might as well make sure the dates they take you on and the conversations you have are actually worth your time.
The message you will send to the toxic men in the dating world will be clear through your actions: I do not accept less. If you’re trying to play me, you’ll be wasting your own time on your dime while I evaluate you. Raise your standards and don’t allow toxic people in the dating world make you settle for less than the bare minimum. There are high-quality men out there who will show their genuine interest consistently – if you’re not dealing with one, protect your singlehood and freedom. Find a man with a genuine provider mindset you’re both physically and emotionally attracted to (yes, women are allowed to date hot, physically attractive men without being called “shallow” – if you don’t think so, that’s because the media and romance movies have brainwashed you into believing in double standards). Men “protect” their freedom all the time. They explore their options. They prioritize their own happiness in dating. They opt out quickly out of situations that don’t meet their own needs and interests. They look for their physical and emotional “type” to mate with. If you want a high quality man, so should you.
Grey’s Anatomy is a dinosaur. A non-threatening, herbivorous dinosaur, certainly – imagine the Parasaurolophus, with its goofy banana head. But a dinosaur nonetheless. After this current season, its 20th, Grey’s Anatomy will become the sixth-longest-running scripted series in television history. It will be tied with American Dad and surpassed by only The Simpsons, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, Family Guy, and NCIS, all of which are similarly and miraculously still on the air.
Still, in this line-up, Grey’s is an anomaly. It’s live-action (read: expensive), and it isn’t a pure procedural, either. And yet, that may be the key to its success: It has the core of a familiar medical procedural, but swaddles it in twisty storytelling, compelling cases, and loveable characters. Ever since it first introduced viewers to MAGIC (Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie, and Cristina) in Season 1, the show has spent 400 episodes delivering sultry hookups, timeless friendships, and high-octane medical drama.
And considering its staying power, it’s no wonder that it has breathed life into so many other great movies and series. Here are 7 of the most notable.
How to Get Away with MurderABCGrey’s Anatomy was the first TV series that Shonda Rhimes ever created, so the then-fledgling screenwriter had high hopes for it. Thankfully, Rhimes’ big risk paid off, and Grey’s not only nabbed her an Emmy nomination, but gave her a blank check to create an entire Shondaverse of excellent shows. Her first major hit post-Grey’s was Private Practice; Scandal was to follow. However, How to Get Away with Murder, which she exec-produced, may be her most enduring mid-2010s offering, since it turned Viola Davis from a critical darling into a mainstream star. Also, who can forget those steamy same-sex scenes, which were unlike anything on TV at the time.
The Woman KingSony PicturesOne could argue that How to Get Away with Murder helped raise Viola Davis’ profile in Hollywood – enough to gain her real influence among her peers. It’s thanks to that influence that allowed Davis to expand her career as a film producer and ultimately bring 2022’s The Woman King to life. This historical action adventure, which Davis produced and starred in, became an unexpected box office hit and a well-received offering across the board. That’s not to mention that its story, about an all-female warrior team that protected an African kingdom in the 19th century, is unforgettable.
Killing EveBBC AmericaSure, you could argue that this dark, twisted fairy tale about the iconically chic psychopath Villanelle (Jodie Comer) might have existed without Sandra Oh, a Grey’s alum. But would it have made it past the pilot stage if anyone else had starred in it? Oh, who also exec-produced this genre-bending cult favorite, won a Screen Actors Guild Award and Golden Globe for her co-starring role as the obsessive, brilliant Eve Polastri.
Firefly LaneNetflixFirefly Lane is another hit series that came to life with the help of a Grey’s alum in the exec-producer role. Katherine Heigl, who also stars in this popular Netflix series, helped bring its tale of enduring female friendship to life. One could also argue that Grey’s influenced Firefly Lane by centering female friendships nearly two decades beforehand. Ultimately, Meredith and Cristina walked so that Tully and Kate could … Well, walk. We wouldn’t say that this show has surpassed Grey’s – no matter how much Heigl would love that.
Chicago MedNBCPart-procedural, part relationship drama, part medical thriller … Sound familiar? Though NBC’s flagship Chicago Med is not the only addictive medical drama out there, it does have a noticeably diverse cast – something that can be tied back to Grey’s. Shonda Rhimes herself told Variety in 2021: “I think the legacy [of Grey’s] might simply just be that we made it possible for more people of color to have jobs on camera on television … which makes me embarrassed for television.”
BridgertonThis one is a no-brainer. It was the first-ever Rhimes-produced scripted series to bloom from her ongoing deal with the streamer, and it didn’t disappoint. In addition to catapulting Regé-Jean Page to semi-stardom and spawning an endless supply of memes, it all but dominated pop culture upon its arrival. Its third season remains one of the most anticipated offerings of 2024. And, likely, it wouldn’t have existed without the helping hand of Shondaland, the Rhimes-backed production company that rose to prominence thanks to Grey’s.
Inventing AnnaNetflixRhimes’ follow-up to Bridgerton on Netflix may not have achieved the critical success of Bridgerton, but it certainly earned a place in pop culture. Julia Garner’s wild take on Anna Delvey, a fake German scam artist who infiltrated New York high society, has been parodied to death. Garner’s take on Delvey even earned an impersonation on the latest season of RuPaul’s Drag Race (to mixed results). In any case, if you haven’t seen this show, then I do not have time for this!
Sometimes, love hits you when you least expect it, which is literally what happens to Tobias (Andrew Garfield) and Almut (Florence Pugh) in the upcoming romantic drama We Live in Time. Literally, as in, Almut accidentally hits Tobias with her car. Talk about a meet cute!
Directed by John Crowley, the screenplay by Nick Payne, We Live in Time shows snapshots of Tobias and Almut’s life together over the years, from their serendipitous first encounter to falling in love, building a home, and having their daughter.
However, Almut and Tobias’ love story hits a major bump in the road once Almut is diagnosed with a serious illness. The couple is then forced to face the cruel reality of time–it moves forward, no matter what, and all we can do is live in the moments that we are given. As Tobias laments in one clip, “I’m guilty of looking ahead instead of right in front of me.”
We Live in Time looks to be a very human story filled with love, humor, sadness, vulnerability, and everything in between. And if the trailer is any inclination, it will move you to the point of tears.
But don’t take my word for it; watch the trailer below:
We Live in Time will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival in September 2024, followed by a limited theater release starting October 11th, 2024.
Often when we say, “You’ll never guess the plot twist behind this movie, television series, or book,” we’re exaggerating a bit. Some viewers will indeed figure out the plot twist in a movie, tv series, or book, while others won’t, but plot twists can usually be figured out with enough investigation and discernment of the red herrings and clues. Behind Her Eyes is a limited television series based on a popular 2017 novel that starts out with a typical enough psychological thriller plotline, and it has a plot twist no one would ever guess even based on the information given. A psychiatrist husband, David (played by Tom Bateman), starts engaging in an affair with a co-worker (a single mother, Louise, played by Simona Brown) he met at a local bar prior to either of them knowing they would be working together. However, things get a bit more sinister and twisted when Louise starts developing a strange friendship and obsession with his wife, Adele (Eve Hewson), who seems to be holding back dark secrets about the nature of her marriage to David. As Louise begins to investigate, she becomes enmeshed in a complicated love triangle that unravels secrets no one would ever suspect. If you don’t wish to be spoiled, start watching the limited television series now, as it is still available on Netflix.
The Plot Twist: Spoilers AheadThere are a few plot twists in the television series especially what ends up happening to Louise, but let’s discuss with the biggest one. It turns out Adele isn’t even Adele – she is being inhabited by the soul of another person entirely, which is why her marriage with David has been so strained and hostile. As we learn through flashbacks, it turns out that Adele developed a close friendship with a man named Rob while she was in a psychiatric treatment center. She taught him how to astral project, but he used this information to betray her as he fell in love with her partner David and wanted David for himself. One night when astrally projecting, Rob enters Adele’s body and refuses to let Adele’s soul back in, causing her to die. Rob supposedly “dies” but his soul lives on in Adele’s body, enabling him to continue forward in a relationship with David.
Adele’s true identity is hinted at throughout the series, since anytime we see flashbacks from Adele’s supposed perspective, Rob is always present. Adele is also seen using heroin, Rob’s drug of choice, and seems to have knowledge that only Rob would possess. This reminds viewers never to trust the friend who covets what you have or is envious of you, as some people are willing to go very far to steal your “identity,” mimic parts of you to gain praise, copy you, and wear your skin – figuratively speaking of course, but certainly Rob took this to a literal degree using supernatural methods to infiltrate Adele’s inner circle and take over Adele’s whole life. Viewers express that they are still shocked to this day about the nature of this disturbingly supernatural plot twist and very few would have guessed it. Yet even the title of the movie itself hints at its true nature: behind her eyes and in her body indeed.
They always say date your best friend. You already know you are compatible as friends. A relationship will just make all of those best friend feelings explode into romantic goodness right? Well, the answer is sometimes. Only sometimes. I was disillusioned by the idea that dating my best friend would work. Here is what I learned:
Sometimes he just isn’t that into you, or simply you just aren’t that into himLoving someone as a best friend and loving them romantically can be quite different. The problem is at first, this love sometimes feels the same. Take time to actually understand your feelings towards one another and openly communicate your thoughts and intentions. If you realize you aren’t into them or they aren’t into you, TALK about it. Moving from best friends to more-than-friends can be a big step, make sure you treat it as such.
Constantly worrying about ruining the friendship can ruin the relationshipA consistent worry across the board is ruining the friendship. While this is a valid concern, it is also an excuse. If you both really want to be together it is worth the risk. It’s only if you don’t truly anticipate a future does this excuse start to dampen the mood. It is important to try to find the balance between protecting the friendship, while also making sure not to use this excuse as a crutch.
Knowing who they have been with can really psych you outIn the past it was always funny to give them shit about hooking up with “X” or cheer them on as they flirted with “Y,” but now that you are romantically involved it is a whole different ball game. You remember story after story of their hook ups with “Z” and how it was good/bad, so naturally it’s easy to worry how they will think of you in comparison. Short answer: don’t compare. Letting your mind worry about the past will only sabotage your happiness in the present. However, this is easier said than done. Knowing who they have been with, especially if it is mutual friends, can be messy. So proceed with caution. If it totally wonks you out, maybe the timing is off and it would be healthier to wait until the dust settles a bit more. The important thing is to focus on what makes YOU happy and what makes YOU comfortable.
Sometimes it is easier to talk about your feelings as best friends than as a coupleAs best friends it feels like you can talk about anything. You can have snot dripping from your nose while you cry and you don’t feel the slightest bit of embarrassment. However, at the beginning, it’s easy to feel more reserved when you try to transition to more-than-friends. While you will get that closeness back, transitioning to new territory can temporarily make you forget the camaraderie you once had. It’s important to respect the process here and trust that you will be able to manage this change, while also still maintaining that togetherness. If you don’t start to warm up to each other as more-than-friends, that is OKAY. It is important to stay realistic and recognize if you simply just mesh better as friends.
The thrill of courting each other will fadeOh, that sweet honeymoon phase. You kiss for the first time and BAM that sexual tension is finally broken. In the moment it feels like that high could last forever. The brutal truth is that it doesn’t. It’s exciting to start something new, especially with someone you already know so well. In this honeymoon phase it feels like you are getting to know them all over again. However, once this fades you should still be left with the same trust and respect you had when you were friends. As a whole, enjoy this new part of your relationship, but don’t set it as your expectation. If you do set it as your expectation and things go south, you will fall far on your ass and boy will it hurt.
You can’t maintain friends with benefits without someone getting hurt, so you rush to define the relationshipThe unusual curse of trying to date your best friend is that you can never really be casual about it. Take any friends with benefits-esque movie, someone catches feelings, someone gets hurt, ect. ect. Being long term casual hookup buddies with your best friend has about the same success rate as a Cinderella keeping both of her shoes. Therefore, it is easy to rush defining what you are so no one gets hurt. Instead, don’t be afraid to press the breaks every now and then. Don’t rush to hook up and try to actually better understand what it would be like to date that person. Go on dates or do cute things for each other. It’s not a race to get in bed with each other and instead focus on how you feel emotionally. If the emotional stuff doesn’t seem to settle, then you will be happy you didn’t try to rush.
Don’t force it, it should come naturallyThis one seems obvious, but it is really quite important. If that person wants to be with you, they will make the effort. If you want to be with them, you will make the effort. It is as simple as that. It is easy to build up a relationship in your head because you rely on the hope that things will change as you get farther into it. It is especially important when you try dating your best friend. You know how well you clicked as friends, so obviously it will click as easily once you are more than friends right? Be honest with yourself and recognize if they seem checked out or uninterested. Do not make excuses for their indecisiveness and don’t try to force something that maybe isn’t meant to be.
Don’t expect intimacy to magically come together right awayYou two are not puzzle pieces, things won’t magically fit together overnight. Much of intimacy is learning from each other and communicating what you like and what you don’t like. As best friends, you know each other well, but will certainly learn a thing or two as you continue to develop your relationship. Be patient with this process and don’t expect fireworks to just happen in one night. By setting unrealistic expectations for your sex life, you in turn don’t give yourself a fair chance to learn about your best friend.
Communication is key, but make sure you don’t just hear what you want to hearRight so communication is key, we all know that. BUT, it is also important to not just hear what you want to hear. They say that they “like you, but…” Listen to what they say after the “but!” While it is easier to hear the positive and rely on hope to solve your problems, you need to hear each other out all the way through. Communicate, communicate, communicate, but also listen to what they are truly saying, even if it is not what you want to hear.
Don’t put each other on a pedestalIt’s your best friend, right? You have been there for each other so many times. It’s easy to believe that in a relationship they will be the best boyfriend/girlfriend you have EVER had. So if expectation doesn’t match reality it ends up feeling like a huge disappointment. The biggest piece of advice is just to base your thoughts on their actions and not on your preconceived expectations. Learn about them as you go, instead of imagining them as perfect from the start.
Know your self worthYes they are your best friend, but YOU are also your own best friend too! If they aren’t treating you right, it doesn’t matter that they are your best friend. Being your best friend doesn’t excuse them from being an asshole. Love yourself and know yourself enough to confidently demand respect at all times. They don’t get a hall pass for being your best friend, rude is rude and you should always prioritize your happiness and self worth.
Remember that at the end of the day, this person is STILL your best friendWithout placing expectations on each other, remember that your friendship comes first. You are best friends and hurting them will only really end up hurting you too. Communicate if things aren’t working, don’t merely toss them aside and ignore them. Treat each other how you would want to be treated and don’t play games with each other. Some of the best relationships can be the product of dating and falling in love with your best friend. However, falling for your best friend is way more complicated than it seems. In all, don’t lose sight of your friendship, prioritize your own self worth, and recognize when it may be time to let go.
Mockumentaries may be a fairly niche subgenre within the realm of comedy, but the influence mockumentary films have had on contemporary pop culture cannot be overstated. After all, when examining the numerous mockumentary series we’ve seen in recent years, it’s worth wondering whether shows like The Office, Parks and Rec, or What We Do in the Shadows might even exist without earlier predecessors like Borat, This Is Spinal Tap, or the original version of What We Shadow in the Shadows paving the way.
From cult classic musical comedies to laugh-out-loud political satires, here are some of the greatest mockumentary movies we’ve seen yet, ranked in order from worst to best.
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)Universal PicturesThe music industry has always been an easy target for the mockumentary film, whether discussing looking at a movie as iconic as This Is Spinal Tap or something as relatively modern as Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. With 2016’s Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, The Lonely Island trio effectively lampoon contemporary pop musicians like Tyler, the Creator, Justin Bieber, and Macklemore. Alternating between outlandish musical numbers and relying on a nonstop parade of celebrity cameos, Popstar never stops being funny throughout its fast-moving 87-minute runtime. Watch Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping on Amazon Video.
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (2020)Amazon StudioIn many ways, Sacha Baron Cohen couldn’t have picked a better time to film Borat Subsequent Movefilm. Whereas the earlier Borat film had managed to introduce an absurd character into otherwise mundane settings, the opposite proved true for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, forcing Cohen’s woefully misinformed journalist to face such societal upheavals as the COVID-19 pandemic and the divisive 2020 U.S. presidential election. Throughout it all, Cohen and the scene-stealing Maria Bakalova emphasize the surreal experience of living through such an historic, utterly bizarre time period, leaving viewers hooked from the very beginning. Watch Borat Subsequent Moviefilm on Prime Video.
Waiting for Guffman (1996)Sony PicturesIf anyone ever perfected the art of mockumentary filmmaking, it’s Christopher Guest. The innovative writer, director, and star of several renowned mockumentary films, Guest’s incredible handling of the mockumentary format is best illustrated with films like Waiting for Guffman. Combining offbeat characters with plenty of improvised comedic segments, Waiting for Guffman never fails to trigger insistent laughter from viewers throughout its hour and a half-long runtime. Watch Waiting for Guffman on Amazon Video.
Best in Show (2000)Warner Bros.As mentioned above, few people have mastered the mockumentary presentation to the same extent as Christopher Guest. Parodying everything from pretentious prima donna rock bands to flamboyantly bad regional actors, Guest has shown himself capable of making the most niche topics imaginable a plentiful source of entertainment. With Best in Show, Guest once again completes this delicate feat, providing a hilarious look at the lives of overly-competitive dog show trainers as they groom their pets towards victory. Watch Best in Show on Amazon Video.
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)Madman EntertainmentIn the late 2000s and early 2010s, vampires were all anybody could think about when it came to either the romance or horror genre – a phenomenon best explained by the popularity of the Twilight series. Seizing upon the rapid success of the Twilight films, Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement developed their brilliant idea for a mockumentary lampooning vampiric folklore with 2014’s What We Do in the Shadows. Weaving in references to such classic vampire films as Nosferatu, The Lost Boys, and Bram Stoker’s Dracula, What We Do in the Shadows never wastes an opportunity to mock its horror predecessors, allowing for plenty of breathtaking jokes along the way. Watch What We Do in the Shadows on Amazon Video.
Borat (2006)20th Century FoxAmong the most quoted comedy films of the 2000s, Borat also serves as Sacha Baron Cohen’s ultimate achievement as an experimental comedian. Conjuring up a fully-realized (albeit cartoonishly exaggerated) personality with his titular Kazakhstani journalist, Cohen struck a fine balance between over-the-top satire and inventive dark comedy with his 2006 masterpiece. As with most of Cohen’s films, Borat specifically delighted in holding up a mirror to some of the most troubling aspects of 2000s-era American socio-political culture, leading to as many laughs as it did genuinely sobering sequences. Watch Borat on Hulu.
This Is Spinal TapEmbassy PicturesWhen This Is Spinal Tap hit theaters in 1984, nobody had ever seen anything quite like it before. A genre-bending mockumentary poking fun at ‘70s and ‘80s heavy metal bands and rock documentaries like The Last Waltz, This Is Spinal Tap introduced a new style of anarchic, improvisational comedy that audiences instantly fell in love with. Endlessly quotable and unwaveringly funny, Spinal Tap is without a doubt among the most beloved comedy films ever made, as well as the most important mockumentary film ever brought to the big screen.
INTPYou don’t listen to them. INTPs are natural “professors” and this means that they will have topics or stories that they feel like they need people to know. This doesn’t mean they need rapt attention and perfect silence all the time, just that you don’t pick up your phone while your eyes glaze over the minute they start talking.
ENFPYou take them for granted. ENFPs are natural people pleasers, but they have to know that all their hard work has some effect on you. You don’t have to throw them a parade, they just want you to occasionally thank them for everything they do, and let them know that it’s important to you.
ISFPYou are dismissive of them. ISFPs are naturally excited about the things and people they love, though it’s often hard for them to express it the way they want it. In other words, the fastest way to get them to hate you is to wait until they finally work up the courage to explain how they feel about something and then tell them you think that person or thing is lame.
ESTJYou shoot down all their ideas. ESTJs like to bring you into the world that they’ve built by asking you to go places they like and try things they enjoy. ESTJs will quickly grow frustrated if you continuously refuse to let them show you things they love.
ESFJYou micromanage them. ESFJ’s are generally relaxed, so the fastest way to make them hate you is to take over their schedule to pack it full. This doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy regular activities, just that if you try to make them break up their calendar into half hour blocks they will begin to resent you.
INFJYou make them feel like they can never be good enough. This is one of the main stressors that INFJs put on themselves, so they don’t need it from the outside world. This is particularly true if they look up to you, as this naturally sensitive type will take it very hard.
ENTPYou belittle them. This type hates being talked down to more than any other MBTI type. This is because while they typically have high self-esteem, it’s usually mixed with a lot of self-doubt. This means that they will react to being made to feel small by reacting based off not only their wounded pride but also their reinforced feelings of inadequacy.
ISTJYou make everything into a grand spectacle. ISTJs are naturally shy, and they put stock In doing things the right, humble way. This doesn’t mean they don’t want acknowledgement for the things they do, merely that they will not appreciate it if your praise feels like an empty yet ostentatious display of your own abilities.
ESTPYou make them feel trapped. ESTPs like to feel like masters of their own destiny, and they will begin to resent you rather quickly if you try to take that away from them. It is doubly interesting then that this personality often attracts smothering personality types, only to have to free themselves when they realize what has happened.
ISTPYou force them to be “normal”. ISTPs like to live their lives the way they wish, even if that is counter to what society wants for them. The fastest way to make them hate you is to present the world to them as strictly black and white, even if you say they’re on the “good side”.
ESFPYou are codependent on them. There is no quicker way to make an ESFP hate you than to immediately force yourself to be the most important person in their life. Cutting them off from their abilities to feel independent and have friends outside of each other will make them attempt to avoid you as soon and as much as possible.
INTJYou are easily swayed. This type sees the world in mostly black and white, and dislikes people who cannot take a stand even on the most basic issues. If they see you as being weak-minded they will never rely on you and will almost certainly have a negative view of you.
ISFJYou are flaky. One of the most important qualities to an ISFJ is that they can rely on someone. This is especially because they often don’t feel that they can rely on themselves and their own judgement and look to others to help guide them. Proving yourself to be unreliable will see you excommunicated from this type’s inner circle.
INFPYou are a stick-in-the-mud. This is doubly true if you attempt to inflict your stubborn judgements on other people. The INFP is a born bohemian, and does not take kindly to people trying to ruin their latest spontaneous idea. This doesn’t mean they won’t listen to sense, only that they will know and dislike it if you try to get them to not do something just because it doesn’t mesh with your ideas.
ENTJYou are a bully. ENTJs are unlikely to waste time getting into a conflict if they could just ignore you, but they will immediately stop ignoring you if they think you are a bully to those that are weak. This does not stem from a desire to have control over people themselves, but more that if there’s one thing this type doesn’t like it’s people being unkind to others they view as being unable to handle it.
ENFJYou are fake. ENFJs can sense when someone is fake almost immediately, and they will be even angrier with you if it takes them even a little while to recognize it. In addition, once they find someone who is fake they will use their natural charm to make sure that everyone else knows your true nature, in order to make sure that you can’t make anyone else feel the way they felt.
I need more than a relationship through text. I need late night drives and early morning massages. I need gentle forehead kisses and rough sex in the shower. Sending me text messages is fine at first, but after a certain point, it’s not going to cut it anymore.
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I want to get to know the real you.I don’t want the perfect version of you who always responds with a witty text and a cute emoji. I want the real you, standing right in front of me, with sweaty palms and stuttered words. I don’t give a damn about the version of you that takes twenty minutes to respond so you say just the right thing. I want the imperfect, unfiltered version of you.
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The awkward silences are important.I want to bask in the moments when we’re sitting across the table from each other and can’t think of anything else to say. Those are the times when some ridiculous topic will come up, because it’ll be the first thing that pops into our heads. Then we’ll get to talk about zombie invasions and polka music instead of complaining about the election for the hundredth time.
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It’s not serious if we never see each other.Texting me day and night without making actual plans is just a way to string me along, so you don’t have to make a real commitment. That way, you’ll have me around to make you feel better about yourself on lonely nights, but you won’t be stuck with me during the inconvenient times when you want to fuck other people.
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I want to be the only thing on your mind.You might be texting me at the same time you’re texting ten other girls. How am I supposed to know? I want to be face-to-face with you so you can’t copy and paste your conversations. So you can show me that you’re willing to listen to what I have to say, and that you’re not just nodding along.
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Sexting isn’t as good as the real deal.Reading a message about how badly you want to run your tongue across my body is nice, but it doesn’t replace the real thing. I don’t want to hold a vibrator in my hand while I look at your dick pics. I want you to be the one rubbing against my clit. That’s real intimacy.
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The phone causes too many misunderstandings.I can’t figure out your tone when we’re texting. I can’t decide if you’re joking around in a flirty way or if you’re just being a douche. And when you phrase something in a confusing way, I can’t even continue the conversation, because I have no idea what you’re trying to say. Talking in person would make all of those problems disappear.
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I don’t take half-measures.If we barely know each other, technology isn’t bringing us together. It’s pulling us apart. It’s stopping us from going out on dates, because we know we can just Skype until we fall asleep, so we don’t have to get dressed and get out of the house. It’s making us lazy, even though real relationships require real effort.
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They didn’t need phones back in the day.The happy couples out there, who have been married for fifty plus years, didn’t use phones to communicate. They kept their relationships strong by going out on picnics and looking up at the stars and actually looking each other in the eyes.
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Texting is holding us back.I’m a real person with real feelings. It’s easy to forget that when you never see my smirk after you sext me or hear me laugh after you make a ridiculous pun. But how are we supposed to take the next step in our love story when I don’t even feel real to you? We need to be brave and go out on an old fashioned date if we want something serious.
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I can’t fall in love over a phone.It’s just not going to happen. I need to look into your hazel eyes and feel your plump lips. I need to smell your aftershave and hear you say my name. Texting was a great way to get to know you, but it’s not going to let me fall in love with you. For that to happen, we’d have to put down the phones and pick up our car keys.
Someone GreatWhen Jenny, a New York music journalist, lands her dream job for Rolling Stone in San Francisco, her boyfriend of nine years (a red flag in itself – where’s the ring?) Nate breaks up with her. Devastated, Jenny turns to her two friends who are having relationship problems of their own to have one last “hurrah” in New York City and take the day off work. During this day with her friends, she revisits the convoluted journey of her relationship and heartbreak, from its tender beginnings to its escalating conflicts. Someone Great is a poignant break-up film that documents the evasiveness and complexity of closure, reminding us that sometimes in a break-up, you have to celebrate the love that was once there as well as mourn of what never came to be. It is a powerfully tragic, beautiful, and funny film, perfect for when you want a cathartic cry sesh when all your emotions are still bottled up, but best to hold off on watching if you’re looking for a more feel-good movie, like some of the others recommended on this list.
Legally BlondeThere’s a running joke that women who go through a break-up often start three businesses, buy two homes, and graduate from Harvard shortly after. What, like it’s hard? But seriously, there’s no one more determined than a woman who is catapulted into victory and channels her experiences into her success after heartbreak, and Legally Blonde is the best level up movie to watch when you’re down in the dumps about your break-up. Watching Reese Witherspoon’s character Elle Woods rise to the top of her Harvard class after being broken up with for not being deemed “smart” enough by her obnoxious ex-boyfriend is so healing. After realizing her boyfriend isn’t worthy of her attempts to get him back, she puts her energy solely into her studies and realizes she’s a lot more intelligent and determined than people gave her credit for. This journey brings her to connect with her true gifts as a future lawyer and fashion designer, her real friends, and a much better partner. We’ll also never forget one of the most poignant pieces of wisdom she left us with: “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands! They just don’t!” Right on.
The First Wives ClubThis classic movie starring the iconic trio Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton is the blueprint for all “good for her” break-up movies. Three best friends from college, Annie, Brenda, and Elise are shaken by the suicide of another friend, Cynthia, who ended her life due to her husband leaving her for another woman. This departed friend leaves them a letter that causes the friends to reunite and commiserate about their own philandering husbands and plot a clever scheme against all three husbands to get justice on their own terms. Goldie Hawn stars as Elise, an actress who helped her film producer husband Bill rise to the top but is abandoned for a younger woman. Brenda is also facing divorce and possible financial disaster, and Annie is trying to work through potential separation with her husband who is having an affair with their therapist all while navigating co-parenting. The First Wives Club is a sassy take on sisterhood and moving forward that will help you heal from your break-up.
Under the Tuscan Sun Frances Mayes is living a seemingly ideal life: she is a writer in San Francisco married to a loving husband – except she discovers that husband has been cheating on her this whole time, all while relying on Frances’ income. Unfortunately for Frances, the divorce results in the loss of her house and she watches her husband ride off to the sunset with her house and a younger, pregnant new girlfriend. When a friend encourages Frances to vacation in Italy, she becomes the owner of a villa in Tuscany and begins a new life, while inviting new love in. Under the Tuscan Sun is a beautifully mesmerizing and hopeful “good for her” film that encourages women to lean into new beginnings and heal their own hearts in powerful ways.
How To Be SingleDakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson star in this hilarious comedy about what it feels like to be freshly single after a break-up in New York City with your girlfriends. Alice decides to pursue her career in New York, leaving her boyfriend Josh behind to explore what it’s like to be on her own for the first time as she never got a chance to do so, leaping straight from college to her four-year relationship. What follows is a salaciously delicious movie about wild nights with her newfound friend Robin, fun flings, and immeasurable self-discovery. How to Be Single turns every rom-com trope upside on its head with its irreverently brilliant writing and is ultimately a celebration of sisterhood and singlehood. You won’t be able to stop laughing, which is so much better than crying over your toxic ex.
He’s Just Not That Into YouIf you’re looking for a break-up movie that gives you a firm reality check when romanticizing the red flags, this one’s for you. He’s Just Not That Into You provides disturbing illustrations of characters who are in the throes of toxic love with emotionally unavailable men. Whether it’s Gigi who overestimates the romantic interest of her dates, or Janine who forced her husband Ben to marry her through an ultimatum (while Ben is cheating on Janine with yoga instructor Anna), or Beth who tries to persuade her boyfriend Neil to marry her, these are the extremes of toxic relationships where women suffer the consequences of continually choosing the men who do not choose them. In the end, these women must choose themselves as they move forward on their journey to true self-love and romance. This movie serves a powerful reminder that you won’t need to give ultimatums or second chances to people who deserve you. If you’re going to spend precious years of your life doing anything, do so investing in yourself.
The Other WomanWomen who conspire against the same cheating man together thrive together! Or at least that feels like the spirit of the movie, The Other Woman, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, and Leslie Mann. When New York attorney Carly Whitten begins dating Mark King, a charming and handsome businessman, she has no idea he secretly has a wife, Kate. Rather than wallow in this betrayal and inevitable ending of their respective relationships, however, Kate and Carly conspire to follow Mark and catch Mark with another mistress in the Hamptons, Amber (Kate Upton) who he is also exploiting to cover up fraud in one of his business dealings. What ensues is the hilarity of all three women holding Mark accountable by pulling a number of shenanigans to sabotage Mark and later confronting him together, and then moving forward into their dream lives after gaining closure. Talk about girl power and a group break-up for the ages! The Other Woman illuminates the manipulation of pathological liars in a light-hearted, empowering comedy about women joining together to take down the same toxic person and leveling up after a break-up.
It is hard to get over a cheater because when you leave the relationship, there are two people you must mourn. One is the asshole who cheated on you, in all their flawed, unfaithful glory. This is the person it is easy to get mad at, the person it is easy to cut off contact with, the person it is easy to talk shit about while you’re out for cocktails with your girlfriends at night. It’s the person you are glad to be leaving because you know that you don’t deserve their bullshit in your life.
The other person you must get over is the person you thought they were. The relationship you thought you had. The trust you so carefully built, not knowing that the foundation was made up of quicksand. It’s not the cheater you are mourning at 4am when you come home from the bar alone and want to call them up to tell them they’re forgiven; it is their intangibly perfect alter-ego. The one you built a life with. The one you poured your trust into. The one you thought was always going to be there, until they weren’t. You hate the person they turned into, but love the person they were. Love the way things were. Love the memory of each blissfully ignorant day with them, so fiercely that it tears you to pieces.
It is hard to get over a cheater because you never get the closure you need. You cannot reason your way to the cause of the cheating — and I strongly encourage you not to try. The back of your mind will only make up reasons that scathe you: you weren’t funny enough or sexy enough or enticing enough. You didn’t pay enough attention. You didn’t make enough time. With every magazine title screaming “Ways to please your lover!” and “How to not scare the good ones away,” you begin to suspect that it was your fault they cheated, not theirs. You know logically this is not true, but it feels true. The harder you search for a reason, the more the truth evades you. A simple lapse in judgment doesn’t seem like an adequate explanation for the hell that you’ve been put through. So you search for a bigger, better reason that is not there.
It’s hard to get over a cheater because the only person you hate more than them is yourself. You hate yourself for falling for them. For investing in them. For turning a blind eye to every red flag that was a clue along the way. You scorn yourself for believing every lie they told, and letting it all come to fruition. You hate yourself for not putting together the puzzle pieces that you were never actually holding.
It is hard to get over a cheater because we are seldom given the chance to properly mourn them. We are encouraged to feel every scathing emotion we can muster toward our unfaithful lovers, but we’re told that we cannot still love them. Cannot miss them. Cannot mourn the loss of that love because we should be too angry to feel sadness. We are not given the chance to go through the regular process of grieving somebody who was once a major part of our lives. And because we try to deny ourselves this process, we exemplify the pain. We feel ashamed for still loving them. Ashamed for still needing to grieve. Ashamed of not being ready to start over right away, even though we know we deserve so much better. Ashamed because it must make us weak to feel anything other than hatred.
It is hard to get over a cheater because the real person we have to forgive at the end of the day is ourselves. We have to forgive ourselves for missing the signs that we couldn’t possibly have seen. For losing a game we never signed up to play. For having a perfectly natural connection with a person who turned out to not be who they said they were. We don’t want to accept that bad things can happen to us without precedence. That we can be fooled and treated unfairly and still end up the loser in the end. We want to believe in the eternal balance of the Universe, which suggests that when we are in pain we have done something wrong. It is hard to get over a cheater because it means accepting the bizarre notion that life can be unfair in the harshest sense of the word.
It is hard to get over a cheater because a betrayal of trust turns your world upside down. And the only way to flip it right-side up again is to give ourselves permission to work through it. To accept what happened. To mourn someone we hate. To grieve a relationship we walked away from. To work through every paradoxical situation we encounter, until we come through on the other side. The side with a clean slate. The side where we don’t just suspect that we deserve better — we know. And the side where we are proud of ourselves for never accepting any less.
Have you felt a profound void within you ever since Season 3 of Bridgerton ended? Have your fingers been twitching involuntarily in the evenings, eager to smash the “Next Episode” button on something – anything – resembling a television series? Fret not, gentle readers. There’s a new series scratching that Bridgerton itch. It’s an Amazon Prime guilty pleasure called My Lady Jane, and it’s near the top of streaming charts – so people are watching, whether they admit it or not. It also has a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes, so it has artistry to back up that binge watching. More importantly, however, it boasts a blend of revisionist historical fantasy and witty feminist humor, nudging it towards Bridgerton on the Great Family Tree of Bingeable Shows.
That said, you might finish My Lady Jane just as soon as you’ve discovered it, given its addictive retelling of the story of Lady Jane Grey, a 16th century noblewoman who became Queen of England for exactly nine days. There’s even a sassy narrator and pop soundtrack. So, what are you supposed to do when you finish? Once again, fret not – Here are five similar shows that you can watch next.
The Great (2020-2023)HuluThanks to some unhinged reason like “it didn’t make enough money” or “no one was watching it” or something else that literally sounds fake, this brilliant show left us too soon. Thankfully, however, The Great’s third season ends on a semi-satisfying note, so don’t worry about feeling unfulfilled if you start now. Also, this diverse, F bomb-laden reimagining of Catherine the Great’s reign boasts a star-making performance from Elle Fanning and a star-maintaining one from Nicholas Hoult. Dubbed “an almost entirely untrue story” in its final season, The Great plays fast and loose with history in insightful and amusing ways, making it the perfect replacement for My Lady Jane (and, perhaps, Bridgerton). You can find it on Hulu.
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story (2023)NetflixIf you’re reading this, then there’s a decent chance you’ve already discovered this steamy Bridgerton spinoff on Netflix. But I’ll mention it just in case. Equally diverse and politically relevant as My Lady Jane, this prequel references our 21st-century society even as it delivers bewildering fashion choices and swoony romances that you’d expect from a Bridgerton show. It’s ahistorical without being apolitical.
Dickinson (2019-2021)Apple TV+My Lady Jane finds ways great and small to align itself with modern notions of feminism and self-actualization. So, too, does the Apple TV+ series Dickinson, which stars Hailee Steinfeld of all people as the famously depressed poet Emily Dickinson. Marked by lively dialogue, period-accurate décor, political allegories, and a modern soundtrack, Dickinson addresses contemporary political discourse while remaining firmly in 1800s Massachusetts. But don’t expect a stuffy biopic: Little is known of Dickinson’s life, so the series is fantastical by nature.
Renegade Nell (2024-)Disney+For a Disney+ series, Renegade Nell is edgier than you might expect. Starring Louisa Harland of Derry Girls as a young woman framed for murder, the show blends history and fantasy with the same gusto as My Lady Jane. In this version of 18th-century England, magical sprites roam the Earth and occasionally interact with humans – as one eventually does with the titular Nell. Brimming with clever concepts and amusing situations, Renegade Nell is both ambitious and thrilling, combining modern Disney fun with a girlboss aesthetic.
Another Period (2013-2018)Comedy CentralIf you prefer a side of comedy with your historical inaccuracy, then Another Period is for you. This highly rewatchable Comedy Central series stars comedians Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome as turn-of-the-century socialites who would stop at nothing to become famous. The show is essentially a spoof of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but in the early 20th century. That said, it’s not just a sharp criticism of those ladies’ narcissism and general uselessness to society, but a window into the class and social divides that governed our country both then and now. The situations in Another Period are frequently absurd, but they always emerge from a kernel of truth. Plus, the Downton Abbey-esque cast of Upstairs and Downstairs characters provides an endless number of gags and character pairings. Another Period will surely delight anyone who appreciates the wit of My Lady Jane over its sexy Animorph men.
Inspirational. Life-changing. Significant. Relevant. Chill-inducing. These are some of the adjectives that surface when discussing films that nestle their way into our hearts and minds — and never leave. Films with lines we’ve memorized. With moments so clear in our memories, it’s as if the events unfolded in our very own lives.
Some quotes in movies take you aback. You pause to digest the words that have been said. The words are so meaningful they pierce through the silver screen to all those listening. You may even feel removed from the story — stomaching the weight of wisdom imparted — before regaining focus and returning to the tale before you.
This list will highlight movie quotes with vital life lessons to share. And some of the movies may surprise you, for a film need not be serious to say something significant.
“Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something, not even me. Alright? You dream. You gotta protect it.” — ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’It’s tough to make it in a capitalist society where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Where generational wealth is a ticket to a life of financial freedom. Yet, despite all the obstacles that may get in the way of your dreams, determination will triumph if given the space to flourish.
Will Smith’s character goes on to explain to his son that people will try to tell you that you cannot achieve your dreams— and this is because their fear is greater than their will. People who are too scared to give it their all want to see others succumb to the same negative emotions. Yet, dreams are powerful. We must protect them. Nurture them. Without aspiration, there is no success. But with it, with a vision so strong it’s tangible before it comes to fruition, we can pursue and attain happiness.
“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” — ‘The Lion King’ Rafiki is The Lion King’s unorthodox and eccentric mandrill. Despite his questionable approach to imparting life lessons, his wisdom is faultless nonetheless. He is the embodiment of intuition, and is the “old soul” to Simba’s “young grasshopper.” This quote about the past relays that one’s history is powerful — it can carry so much emotional weight that it paralyzes you in the present. However, the quote also asserts that it can be a source of knowledge — a well of experience that you learn from.
"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." –Rafiki, The Lion King pic.twitter.com/ZTnBDZZHNY
— Disney (@Disney) December 16, 2019
Running from the past will keep you in a cyclical trap of your own creation. The more you run, the less you grow. When you confront the past, pain and fear will surface, but at the end of the tunnel, there is freedom. Freedom from the shackles your mind has constructed as barriers. But the thing about barriers: they do not only keep others from getting in…they keep you from getting out.
Rafiki is present to teach Simba the importance of resilience, accepting responsibility, and growing from one’s mistakes. And, in this one quote, he does it all.
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — ‘Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’On a literal level, this quote lacks a bit of a punch in the inspiration department. However, on a metaphorical level, it’s a good lesson about preparing for the worst. In life, if you are prepared to “dodge a wrench” — face the unexpected, cope with drastic change, find solace in times of despair — you will easily be able to “dodge a ball” — deal with everyday inconveniences and minor disappointments. Think of the wrench as the worst possible outcome, and the ball as the modestly annoying consequence. If you only prepare for the ball, what will you do when the wrench comes flying at you?
This is not to say that you should live life in a state of anxiety, but rather that it’s good to emotionally, physically, and mentally develop the means to face life’s greatest challenges.
“My mama always said, Life was like a box of chocolates: you never know what you’re gonna get.” — ‘Forrest Gump’ This famous Forrest Gump quote is similar to the one above but is less about preparation, and more about accepting life’s randomness. Life throws curveballs. Life can bring glorious days of pure bliss and somber days filled with sorrow and regret. Yet, until you live it, you won’t know it. So, get out there and take a bite of the chocolate — hopefully, you get a good flavor.
You don’t always need a plan. Forrest never really had one, and his life brought him such an eclectic series of adventures. Sometimes it’s okay to let the wind sweep you away and see what happens when you relinquish a little control.
“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living…” — ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2’ It’s easy to dwell on those we have lost. To fixate on all the ways we could have acted differently when they were alive. On all the actions we could have taken to change the course of events that have taken them away. However, it does not benefit you or those around you to focus on those who are no longer here. There are those living who could use your support — those suffering who still walk this earth. Pity them. Find it in your heart to care for them. Find it in your power to console those who can benefit from your compassion.
"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living. And above all, pity those that live without love." – Dumbledore pic.twitter.com/qzDZV2ZzA6
— Harry Potter (@harrypotter) August 26, 2014
Dumbledore goes on to include that Harry should, most of all, pity those who “live without love,” for what is a life without love? Those struggling with isolation — with the earthly woes of a loveless existence — are more deserving of pity than those who cannot feel the commiseration you hold for them. This quote is primarily about shifting perspective in the face of loss, and, though difficult to hear, these are words we can all learn from.
“And medicine, law, business, engineering: these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love: these are what we stay alive for.” — ‘Dead Poets Society’Robin Williams’ character is not diminishing the importance of practical studies here but rather emphasizing the importance of the humanities. Without science, we would not survive. We would be stuck in the dark ages. Yet, without poetry, art, beauty, and romance, what would we have to survive for? How would we connect with one another? How would we find the souls out there operating on the same wavelength?
Do not get so caught up in the tangible — in the objective and practical — that you forget the very facets of existence that make us human. The very things that separate us from inferior mammals with no more than an instinct to survive. We have an instinct to flourish. Nurture it.
“But when I saw her laid out like a queen, she was the happiest corpse I’d ever seen.” — ‘Cabaret’This quote may need a little bit more context than the others on the list; however, once broken down, it carries a great deal of weight about living life to the fullest. This quote is a lyric from the song “Cabaret” from the movie musical Cabaret. The lyric is about a woman who partied. She never said no to an exciting opportunity. She took risks. She came to the cabaret to “hear the music play.” And, when she died, she looked so at ease, for she did not have any regrets.
She did not die thinking about all the “what ifs” for she chased all those exciting opportunities. This is not to say that you should be fearless and risk-taking to a fault (for she likely died from “too much pills and liquor”), but you should not be too regimented as to miss out. As the song goes, “From cradle to tomb, it isn’t that long a stay,” so put on your going-out outfit and hit the town.
Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.
“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.
The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.
The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.
Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.
ISTJPassing the swimming test at the local pool for the first time. Going to a big box store to buy cups and hamburger buns for a backyard barbecue. Pulling the wrapper off of an icy twin pop.
ENTPThe smell of freshly cut grass. Finishing the summer reading just before the deadline for a prize. Drinking iced coffee after a bike ride.
INTJThe sound of a stopwatch resetting. A heavy storm bank unfurling at the edge of the ocean. Ticket stubs ripped cleanly in half.
ENFPColorful balloons bobbing in the wind. The taste of cotton candy. A kiss in the warm summer rain.
ESTPThe taste of a slushee from the corner store. A perfect tan in June. A freshly detailed car marred by an abundance of Starbucks cups.
INFPWatching lightning bugs twinkle in the backyard. Going for a morning walk through the forest before it gets hot outside. The sound of the ocean lapping happily against the shore.
ENFJThe sound of a lawnmower roaring. A pool float drifting lazily in an aqua blue pool. The first sip of an ice-cold soda.
ISFJThe sounds of birds at dusk. A handpicked wildflower bouquet drying on a windowsill. A sketchbook worn all around the edges.
INTPA telescope aimed at the stars on a clear night. A stormy sea. Walking into a library with nothing but time and a knowledge of the best places to sit.
ENTJThe “woosh” of air conditioning when you walk into a mall. The smell of burned fireworks. Watching a sailboat glide neatly through a clear blue lake.
ISFPThe summer drink menu at Starbucks. A vinyl record played on loop. The sound of cicadas as heard from a hammock.
INFJA cool morning on a lake, the sunrise reflecting in the pristine water. The kind of unearthly stillness that can only be found when hiking in a national park. The feeling of henna being applied.
ESFPDrinking bubble tea while walking around a mall. Getting ready for an epic Friday night. A drink menu made up entirely of novelty shots.
ESTJThe smell of SPF 50 chapstick. A complicated drinking game that gets harder to explain every time it gets played. The feeling of trying on a great looking swimsuit.
ESFJSunglasses that slip down your nose. Sneaking up a hill with your friends to watch fireworks that the country club is setting off. Driving aimlessly with the windows down and the radio up.
ISTPEating sunflower seeds. Setting off flares at 2 AM, hoping the trees block the sight from passing aircraft. The smell of hot asphalt in a hotel parking lot.
He sweet talked me into loving him, made me feel like I actually mattered to him, and then shattered my heart. How am I supposed to forget about someone like that? Immediately getting over him is a nice thought, but it’s not the way the world works. So stop telling me to get over him, because I’m allowed to be heartbroken.
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I won’t apologize for my feelings.Don’t tell me he’s not worth my tears. If I want to cry, then I’m going to cry. I’ll bawl my eyes out until my mascara creeps down my cheeks and my contacts are all dried out. I’ll even turn myself into a cliché, scooping ice cream straight from the container and drunk texting him after a few too many shots of tequila, but I won’t feel bad about it. I’ll never apologize for having feelings.
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I won’t get over him unless I freak out first.I know I don’t need him. I know I’m better off without him. I know any man would be lucky to have me. But I’m never going to get over him, not completely, unless I freak out first. It’s how I get my closure. So let me destroy myself, at least on a small scale, so I have a chance to put myself back together. Otherwise, he’ll always be hovering in the back of my mind.
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My mental health matters.Why should I have to hide my pain and put on the happy face of a girl with a steel heart? When I have the flu, I’m not pressured to pretend that I’m in perfect health. So when I’m depressed, why do I have to cry behind closed doors? I’m not going to lie to my friends and family about being fine, just to make them feel comfortable. Life isn’t comfortable.
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Little things mean a lot to me.I know that single life isn’t all that bad and that boys aren’t everything. But my part-time job isn’t everything either, and I’d still cry if I got fired. And the finale of How I Met Your Mother wasn’t everything, but I still cried when I saw the shit show of a finale. I get upset when bad things happen. It’s the way things go.
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Love is all we talk about.Half of the time, I’m told that I should be happy without a boyfriend, and I know it’s the truth, but it’s hard to believe when the other half of the time I’m bombarded with commercials about happy couples, Instagram photos of #RelationshipGoals, and articles with tips for finding a boyfriend. It’s hard to be happy being single, especially after going through a rough breakup, when I’m surrounded by reminders that I’m alone.
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I don’t care how I look.Screw my reputation. I’ve never tried to be “cool girl” to get a boyfriend, and I won’t pretend to be “a classy lady” after a breakup. I don’t care what I look like in other people’s eyes, so I’m not going to hide my crazy. I’d rather embrace who I am.
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I’ll get over him eventually.One day, I’ll look back and laugh at how heartbroken I was over losing such a loser. But today is not that day. Today, I need to bask in my misery. Today, I need to think about all the romantic dates we went on and look through the old texts he sent me. Today, I need you to let me mourn my failed relationship, because it’s the only way I’ll be truly happy tomorrow.
If you’re looking for a role model in the WWE, look no further than Cody Rhodes.
Pro wrestling might be a strange place to find a masculinity role model. The entire sport, or performance art as WWE legend Bret Hart described it, seems to strip everything down to the basics. There’s the core wrestling aspect, which is choreographed to perfection with a scripted ending. And there are the storylines that generally follow a classic good vs. evil trope or a variation thereof.
When Cody Rhodes returned to the WWE as The American Nightmare in 2022, after six years away from the company, he could have just blended in with the other men on the roster, but something about him stood out. It was not his custom theme song, “Kingdom” by the band Downstait, it was not his wrestling gear, or even the fact he is incredibly good looking (sighs). What really set Cody apart was his authentic self, which made its way past his on-screen persona.
Everything he says is eloquent“A man often finds his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it” is a quote Cody used on his first night back on RAW. Its’ an interesting choice since most of the talent in pro-wrestling use their time on the microphone to trash-talk their opponents to sell themselves as the hero. I have never heard anyone paraphrase French poet Jean de La Fontaine. The more he spoke, the more evident it became that Cody was well-read and considered his words and their impact before he said them. He makes a point, sometimes cuttingly so, without the use of curse words and without being crass. If only all men (and women) could do the same. Perhaps it should be something to strive for.
He loves his mom and dadIf there is one truth about Cody Rhodes that is undeniable, it’s that he loves his parents with all his heart and isn’t afraid to show it. Growing up in a culture in which millennials were taught that having a close relationship with your parents somehow made you a loser, seeing someone who works in a very masculine industry openly express his love for his mom and dad on live television in front of the entire world is refreshing. Cody unashamedly and unabashedly expresses his love for his parents whenever the opportunity presents itself. And if anyone saw the look on his face when he hugged his mom after winning the WWE Universal Championship they would know that none of it was ever just an act for the cameras.
He dresses really well, no matter the settingNew Japan Pro WrestlingCody Rhodes always dresses in tailored three-piece suits. While his choice might seem a little extra, it really adds a touch of class to the sport. Interestingly, not everyone appreciates his outfit choices. “I had someone once tell me, and this was very dumb, this person, they’re not dumb who told me, but the statement was dumb that I shouldn’t wear suits,” Cody said on WWE’s After the Bell podcast. He went on to admit that while the suit started as a gimmick, it’s become part of who he is. “I’ve always had different outlooks on, you know, the classic quote of dress for the job you want, not the job you have. But I think in the beginning, admittedly the beginning, because I started wearing suits everywhere, every day when I left WWE in 2015, and when I went on the independent scene, and I’d be wearing a suit, and that, on an independent level, was very different, and a lot of people hadn’t seen that. And it was a gimmick. I think, if I can use that word, it was a gimmick.”
He wears his heart on his sleeveThe most endearing quality Cody Rhodes possesses is not being afraid to show emotions. It’s almost as if the phrase “he wears his heart on his sleeve” was written specifically about him. On several occasions, his eyes filled with tears as he spoke about his late father, Dusty Rhodes, and how he wanted to win the Universal Championship to make him proud. While it might not seem like a big deal, people (especially young boys) were often taught that crying is a sign of weakness. But Cody doesn’t care about going against the norm and shares his feelings with honest authenticity. He talks about his family with warmth, and the love he has for his wife and daughter is evident, too. If every man could adopt a fraction of Cody’s vulnerability, the world would be better for it.
More often than not, the strength of a truly memorable superhero film rests on the characteristics of its main villains. Terrorizing their heroic counterpart with their mischievous deeds and nefarious plans for world domination, a unique supervillain has a way of leaving a lasting impression on audiences across the globe, be it an antagonist as chaotic as The Dark Knight’s Joker or larger-than-life as The Avengers’ Thanos.
As we look ahead to the scheduled release of The Batman – Part II in late 2026, audiences can only wonder which comic book foe will pop up in the Caped Crusader’s latest Batman cinematic adaptation. From sinister secret societies to sharpshooting assassins, here are several villains we’d love to see debut in the Robert Pattinson-led Batman universe at some point in the near future.
ScarecrowA fan-favorite supervillain who has been haunting Gotham City since his 1941 comic book debut, few villains have as magnetic an aura as the fear-obsessed mad scientist, Dr. Jonathan Crane – better known under his criminal moniker, the Scarecrow.
A deranged chemist able to literally manifest his victims’ worst fears through terrifyingly immersive hallucinations, audiences already know that Scarecrow can be portrayed as a more realistic villain, as seen through Cillian Murphy’s iteration of Crane in The Dark Knight trilogy. As one of the darkest supervillains the World’s Greatest Detective has ever come up against, Scarecrow would make an incredibly welcome addition to the bleak and gritty world of The Batman, giving this underappreciated DC baddy the spotlight he rightfully deserves.
Two-FaceAmong the more fascinating personalities in Batman’s comic book history, Harvey Dent has the added benefit of fulfilling two separate roles within the DC Universe. Initially the best friend and steadfast ally to Bruce Wayne, Batman, and James Gordon, Harvey’s harrowing transformation into the unhinged Two-Face makes him one of the most compelling characters in Batman comics.
Whether portrayed as the symbol of hope and justice in Gotham City or as a fallen hero torn apart by his warring temperaments, Dent could make for an extraordinary dramatic foil to Pattinson’s Caped Crusader in The Batman – Part II.
The Court of OwlsA relatively new addition to the DC Universe, the Court of Owls doesn’t exactly command the same iconic reputation as The Joker or Two-Face. However, this twisted secret society has since become a cult favorite among contemporary readers of Batman comics. Composed of Gotham City’s wealthiest and most influential citizens, the Court’s shadowy rule over Gotham could provide an interesting case for Pattinson’s Batman to unravel in the next film, going hand in hand with the Riddler’s paranoid ramblings from the initial entry in the series.
Hugo StrangeWhile most Batman villains have expressed some degree of interest in the hero’s secret identity, few characters are as downright obsessed with it as Hugo Strange. A brainy psychologist, chemist, and biologist, Strange constantly manages to find a way to manipulate those around him to better suit his end goals (I.E., unmasking Batman). Whether worming his way into a position of power and authority or mentally breaking down some of Gotham City’s most notorious criminals, Strange could make for a more than formidable intellectual opponent for the Dark Knight in The Batman – Part II.
Black MaskWith John Turturro’s Carmine Falcone meeting his end in the second act of The Batman, it’s safe to assume that Gotham City’s criminal underworld will be in some degree of disarray in The Batman – Part II. Filling the void left behind by Falcone’s demise, the upcoming film could very well introduce audiences to the up-and-coming gangster, Roman Sionis (AKA Black Mask). As with his original comic book iteration, Sionis’ darker portrayal as a twisted, amoral, psychopathic gangster perfectly suits the darker climate of The Batman universe, making him a dangerous threat to Batman, Catwoman, James Gordon, and his professional rival, Oswald Cobblepot, among others.
DeadshotIn more recent years, Deadshot has gained renewed significant exposure thanks to his starring roles in movies like Suicide Squad or video games like Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League. As a result, the chances that Floyd Lawton might appear in a central role in The Batman – Part II has never been higher. A skilled mercenary known for his deadly marksmanship and his reputation for never missing a target, Deadshot would make for a wonderful antagonist for Pattinson’s Batman, testing the hero from both a physical and mental standpoint.
ISTJMost likely to be a volunteer for the fairgrounds. They’re the person everyone wants to be friends with because they have all the most amazing backstage passes.
ENTPGot dragged along by their friends. Creates a wry twitter thread commenting on the festival that winds up going more than a little viral.
INTJWas given tickets by a client who is sponsoring part of the festival. They probably act disapproving toward the whole spectacle but they secretly get really excited when that band from the Spotify playlist they’re ashamed of listening to starts playing.
ENFPSomehow makes out with the lead singer of the night’s headlining band. Gets into the “most popular” photos of the festival’s Instagram tag twice.
ESTPMost likely to have somehow smuggled in gallons of alcohol. Probably successfully crowd surfed in between acts.
ISFPGot photographed for a magazine’s “Best of” festival fashion spread. Probably was the only person to memorize the lineup and the best time to leave the crowd and get henna, but also the last person to remember they haven’t eaten in 15 hours.
INFPBought their tickets from a dubious source outside the venue. Definitely does wear a flower crown, definitely does not remember where they put their cell phone for two days (it was in their back pocket).
ENFJProbably has every wristband possible and can get into every booth/event. Actually spent money on VIP seats but barely sits in them.
ISFJWins a raffle for backstage passes, but gives them to a friend who really loves the band. Probably accidentally meets the band when they take a wrong turn.
INTPThey’re not even sure how they wound up here. Stays the whole time because they can’t find the exit for three days.
ENTJIs overly prepared, probably has a backpack with everything they thought they could possibly need from Chapstick to a map of the grounds. Somehow obtained a set list for every band playing.
INFJCan be found meditating near the edge of the festival. Only ventures into the fray to see their favorite band in the world (winds up staying for a while to read palms.)
ESFPMost likely to be the “Free Bird” person. Always has a drink in their hand, but doesn’t spend a dime for the entire duration of the festival.
ESTJIs probably in charge of the entire festival. Scares a known-for-being-out-of-control rocker into showing up for the show on time for the first time ever.
ESFJSees every band that plays over the course of whole festival. Hangs out with their friends in the best stage viewing vantage point on all of the grounds.
ISTPIs only there to see one weird opening act. They spend twice the amount of time they spent watching the performance looking for their car.
Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s not the only thing. Finding a boyfriend to kiss and hold shouldn’t be your top priority. If it is, then you just might drive yourself crazy. That’s why you should read this if you wish you cared less about finding love.
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There’s nothing wrong with wanting love.First of all, you shouldn’t apologize for wanting to be loved. I don’t care how many people tell you that you should be happy being single and that there are more important things in the world than boys—even though all of that is true, it’s not as simple as that. Everyone wants to be loved, even if they don’t admit it. So never feel ashamed of wanting someone to hold.
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What you really want might not involve love at all.Think about what you’ve been craving. Is it attention? If it is, you can get that by adopting a puppy. Is it the sex? You can get that by buying a stronger vibrator. Love isn’t the only way for you to get the type of affection you need.
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Love (from others) isn’t the answer.I know it seems like finding someone to date during the day and snuggle with at night seems nice, but it won’t make all of your problems vanish. A boy isn’t magically going to make you change the way you see yourself. You’ll still have the same insecurities that you’ve always had. Unless you work on learning to love yourself, another person’s love isn’t going to change your life the way you’re hoping it will.
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Relationships can be messier than single life is.As much as it sucks to eat alone and masturbate, falling in love can be even worse. After all, there are women out there in relationships who are crying themselves to sleep every night. They’ve fallen in love, but they’re no better off than you are. Some say that “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is bullshit, so you might be one of the lucky ones.
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Don’t believe the hype about relationships.Movies are always going to paint a pretty picture of love. So is the music you hear on the radio. But for every sappy song, there’s a song about heartbreak. People complain about love just as often as they brag about it. You’ve just been focusing on the good stuff, because you want what you don’t have.
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Stop feeling sorry for yourself.Don’t bask in your own misery. You aren’t living some horrible life, just because you aren’t in love. Think of all of the other wonderful things you do have, like friends who can make you laugh, parents who would give anything for you, and a beautiful mind that’ll take you far. Your life isn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be.
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You’ll eventually find what you’re looking for.Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t stop yourself from caring about love. It’s okay. Looking for a serious relationship hasn’t been a waste of your time. You might not have found what you want yet, but one day you will. Don’t stop searching for it if it’s what you really want, because your hard work will pay off in the end.
Did you hear that? It’s the sound of your horror-loving friends heaving a sigh of relief as MaXXXine, the third installment of Ti West’s ‘X’ trilogy, turns out to be actually good. Following in the footsteps of the seedy, gory X and the psychologically twisted Pearl, MaXXXine aims to conclude the story of Maxine Minx (Mia Goth), a Hollywood wannabe who turns her life upside down at the chance to star in “pictures.” Set in 1980s Los Angeles, MaXXXine checks in with Maxine after the disturbing events in her last two cinematic appearances and transports viewers to a time when serial killer Richard Ramirez, a.k.a. the Night Stalker, terrorized Tinseltown.
Raking in $6.7 million stateside in its opening weekend, MaXXXine is destined to make a profit for its parent studio A24 while upholding the good name of West’s trilogy. It’s fairly difficult to maintain consistent quality across three movies, especially in the horror genre – and not many horror trilogies have done the same. So, with that in mind, we’re recommending some other horror trilogies that go out on a high note, just as MaXXXine has done. Truly, any one of these trilogies will be a perfect way to kill an entire afternoon – or day – this summer.
Fear Street (2021)NetflixReleased weekly over three eventful weeks in 2021, Netflix’s Fear Street series riffs on a classic R.L. Stine series while telling a totally unique story. Rooted in campy fun but steeped in bloody gore, Fear Street not only puts a queer spin on modern slasher films, but takes viewers on a tour of three distinct time periods – 1994, 1978, and 1666. The lore is just intriguing enough to keep you on your toes, and the characters are just loveable enough for you to cringe when they’re in trouble. Meanwhile, the whole trilogy betrays a deep love of horror flicks, as evidenced by its delightful references to past scary movies. Watch the Fear Street Trilogy on Netflix.
Alien (1979, 1986, & 1992)20th Century FoxFor the purposes of this listicle, I will ignore the presence of Alien: Prometheus and Alien: Michael Fassbender Makes Out with Himself and Alien: Why Are We Still Making These. Alien was originally designed as a trilogy and should have stayed that way. In its first Ridley Scott-directed outing, the franchise blasted off in a big way and introduced the iconic xenomorph to the world, inspiring legions of knockoff monster designs. The sequel, Aliens, took the original movie’s concept to its outer limits, ratcheting up the tension and action and Sigourney Weaver meme-able moments. Finally, Alien 3 managed to succeed as a riveting study of Weaver’s character, Ripley. Watch the Alien trilogy on Hulu.
Scream (1996, 1997, 2000)Dimension FilmsI don’t think there’s one bad Scream film out there. And yet, the franchise was originally supposed to be a trilogy before being rebooted, reimagined, and rebooted again. Of course, many people say that Scream 3 was not just weaker, but bad – and to them, I say, “Parker Posey.” Sure, Scream 3 isn’t as tightly plotted or shocking as its predecessors, but it’s still horrifyingly clever, as any Scream movie should be. It’s already operating on a different level from, say, House of Wax. Plus, if you believe that anti-vaxxers are a scourge on this Earth, then you will love seeing a very self-unaware Jenny McCarthy get her just deserts. Oh, and Parker Posey. Also, I realize that I have devoted this entire section about the Scream “trilogy” to just one movie, so, uh, the other two movies are good, too? Watch the original Scream trilogy on Max.
Evil Dead (1981, 1987, 1992)New Line CinemaLet’s just assume that all good horror franchises were once supposed to be only trilogies, OK? While the many spin offs, remakes, and sequels of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead trilogy are nothing to sniff at, there’s a striking symmetry to his first original three movies that makes them stand out from other offerings. In addition to featuring the usual sentient murder-trees and subversive zombie thrills, the Evil Dead and its two sequels deliver fantastical frights and self-aware amusement. Plus, time travel! The third movie sends the protagonist, Ash Williams, to the 14th century, where things go south in a good way. Most importantly, it doesn’t put a damper on the momentum of the first two, ensuring a satisfying end to a spectacular series. Watch The Evil Dead on AMC+, Evil Dead II on Plex, and Army of Darkness on Amazon Video.
Sagittarius: Arya Stark
Freedom-loving, rebellious, determined, and passionate, fiery warrior Arya Stark is a true Sagittarius in that she is not only literally equipped and talented with a bow and arrow, she does not play by society’s rules. Arya defies gender stereotypes as she becomes a trained and skilled fighter, ultimately (spoiler alert) defeating the worst threat of Westeros. Her pursuit of justice, resourcefulness, and natural ability to learn new skills is common for many with the Sagittarius sign. Arya is also a natural explorer as we see her leaving behind the conventional expectations of marriage to sail around the world – perfect for the Sag centaurs who want to roam the earth.
Scorpio: Daenerys Targaryen
Many associate Daenerys with fire signs due to her fire-breathing dragons and feistiness and there’s no doubt she certainly has powerful fire sign qualities – but there is something uniquely “Scorpio” about her leadership that cannot be denied. Perhaps it’s the epic visual we see of her in all black with dragon wings behind her or the ruthlessness with which she gains power, but Daenerys emits a dangerous power that cannot be contained. She transforms whole communities and frees them – yet as we see in the end, she also has the ability to destroy them. Her secretive and reserved demeanor screams the scorpion; her ability to conceal her intentions and true gifts and abilities (the scene where she quietly says Dracarys to the men disrespecting her and reveals that Valyrian is her mother tongue comes to mind) until they are needed is perfectly aligned with the Scorpio who is often underestimated due to their more mysterious nature.
Taurus: Gendry
Stable, tough, reliable and dependable, Gendry fits in well with other earthy signs as he is grounded in his core values and always willing to help out his loved ones with his wisdom and resources. His love and loyalty for Arya is one of devotion and service – true to the way a Taurus falls in love, faithful to his partner.
Aquarius: Bran Stark
Bran Stark is a visionary, innovative, prophetic and eccentric character – very much in line with the traits of an Aquarius. He has access to supernatural powers and information others aren’t privy to, allowing him to build a new world. Major Aquarius (as well as some Cancer) vibes.
Leo: Brienne of Tarth
Brave, fearless, loyal, and a skilled fighter, Brienne of Tarth epitomizes the lion’s strength and bravery. When you need Brienne, she’ll always be there – and she’ll always put on an epic show defeating your shared enemies. Talk about a true friend.
Aries: The Hound
The Hound, or Sandor Clegane, is Arya’s mentor, guiding her through her journey of revenge. As one of the fiercest and strongest fighters, he carries major Aries energy as he is both honorable and bold, taking audacious action to defeat his opponents.
Virgo: Cersei Lannister
Logical, detailed, and detached, Cersei is the ultimate portrait of a Virgo who relies on a plan to get ahead. No one can deny the hard work she puts in to protect her family at all costs.
Libra: Jon Snow
Not all were a fan of Jon Snow’s actions in the end of Game of Thrones, but no one can deny that he tried to “play fair” and attempted to prevent Daenerys from going too far in her pursuit of power despite his love for her. This is Libra through and through – making difficult sacrifices needed to ensure harmony and balance.
Gemini: Margaery Tyrell
Margaery has both sunny Leo and duplicitous Gemini energy, but because of her ability to play both sides like a fiddle and her powers of persuasion and intellectual conversation, we feel she embodies the Gemini most effectively. She is one skilled politician with a penchant for gossip and climbing the social ladder.
Cancer: Jorah Mormont
Still waters run deep, and Jorah’s love and deep admiration of Daenerys screams Cancer. Jorah stays fighting for his Queen until the very end, and his emotional protectiveness of her is inspiring to see. Jon Snow could learn a lesson or two from him in loyalty.
Capricorn: The Night King
Icy Capricorn, you’re not always the villain, but we can’t help but think the Night King showcases your cutthroat coldness and ambition. You are willing to take whatever it takes to rise to power and lead.
Pisces: Missandei
Missandei was one of the kindest and most compassionate characters on Game of Thrones, and we think she is perfectly represented by the sensitive, intuitive Pisces. She served Daenerys until the very end, and we will always honor her service.
When it comes to a classic American film, Forrest Gump is at the top of the list. Starring Tom Hanks in one of his earlier roles, the film came out 30 years ago and yet, it’s still one of the most memorable films of all time. Forrest Gump didn’t just produce unforgettable quotes and kooky scenes, it even spawned a restaurant in Bubba Gump Shrimp.
As we look back on the past 30 years, it’s impossible to imagine a world without Forrest Gump. It was the second-highest grossing film of 1994 behind The Lion King and won six Academy Awards — Best Director (Robert Zemeckis), Best Picture, Best Actor (Tom Hanks), Best Adapted Screenplay (based on the book by Winston Groom), Best Visual Effects, and Best Film Editing. In 2011, it was even selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Film Registry, proving its significance to American culture. So we’ve rounded up the six most iconic Forrest Gump moments we’ll never forget.
“Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates”Forrest Gump is basically synonymous with its most famous quotes — “My mama always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.’” In a way, this is the thesis of Forrest Gump while simultaneously describing all of our lives. Throughout the film, Forrest somehow ends up at every major American political event, which is truly unthinkable. “You never know what you’re gonna get!”
Forrest Gump is the box of chocolates, with each event representing a different chocolate. The other side of this quote is that a box of chocolates is almost never bad. Every so often, there may be a piece we don’t like, but at the end of the day, life is pretty great and unexpected, which is one of the many great lessons of Forrest Gump.
Forrest and Bubba Talk ShrimpAs we see Forrest grow up, we know that he’s not like the other kids in his class. He has some trouble socializing, but when he joins the army, not knowing what else to do, he befriends the hilarious and outspoken Bubba. Forrest quickly puts together his weapon, and as the Drill Sergeant yells at him, Bubba just starts talking about all the different ways to cook shrimp, which is far more interesting than anything happening in the armed forces. The hilarity and randomness of the moment even inspired Forrest to continue Bubba’s legacy by making his own shrimping business!
Forrest’s Ping-Pong AcumenAfter Bubba dies in combat, Forrest somehow develops an expertise in playing ping-pong. He plays at the highest most competitive level to forge diplomatic relations with the Chinese. One of the big ideas of Forrest Gump is that this seemingly nothing “stupid” guy impacts all of these great historical events. One such event is the ping-pong diplomacy of the 1970s, a real event that helped the People’s Republic of China and the United States get along unexpectedly.
When Forrest Jumps Off the Boat to Lieutenant DanForrest is so excited to see Lieutenant Dan that he jumps off the boat and the boat crashes. There’s no better way to show one’s excitement and prove your love for someone than literally crashing your boat. His relationship with Dan throughout the film is one of the more complicated ones, as he saves Dan’s life, but Dan lives most of his life without legs because of his war injuries sustained.
But their paths are almost always destined to cross — Dan eventually warms to Forrest when he joins him in the shrimping company, which makes millions after a hurricane destroys all the competitors. Forrest and Dan invest in Apple, Inc., becoming even richer and honoring their buddy, Bubba.
Jenny’s Big MomentOf course, no relationship is as central to Forrest Gump as his relationship with Jenny. Although they grew up together, they took completely different paths. Despite his low IQ, Forrest eventually impacts the world’s biggest events, while Jenny goes on a path to find herself. She becomes a hippie and finds herself in a world of drugs and sex work. She always wished she could fly, and by her big moment, “Free Bird” plays in the background while she contemplates suicide.
Not everything in Forrest Gump is funny and cute — there are also deeply emotional moments such as this one in which we realize that sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. Jenny might have always been a “smart” girl, but she’s always seeking some greater power or meaning in life. She doesn’t find it here, but she does turn her life around and pave the way to an eventual marriage with Forrest.
“Run, Forrest, Run!”But of course, there’s nothing more memorable or quotable than Forrest’s three-year running streak. Jenny leaves him in the night after they first have sex, afraid that she could be taking advantage of Forrest. To deal with his emotions, Forrest just runs, which is something we can all relate to. It comes full circle from when he was a kid with a physical walking disability. Now, he’s a famous marathon runner, building up love from all over the world.
Just by being himself and managing his emotions the only way he knows how — letting loose, running wild and free. We could all learn something from Forrest Gump, whether it’s to let our sincerity reign or to enjoy life’s little moments just to see where it takes us. Regardless, almost every iconic moment in Forrest Gump is unforgettable.
You can watch Forrest Gump on Paramount+.
ENTPThey’ve been living out this vacation for months in their mind, so at first they are flooded with disappointment by reality. After a little while, when they’ve had time to get over their initial disillusionment, they actually have a really good time. Their favorite part of the trip was going to the café where a famous scene from their favorite movie was shot and recreating it in a picture.
INFJHas always loved the idea of France, but never really thought they would ever get to go. Immediately buys a crêpe after getting off the plane, then eats it while sitting in the corner of the café watching/marveling at how French everything is. They probably loved Notre Dame the most, because they almost certainly are enchanted by stained glass.
ESFPThe airline lost their luggage (mostly because the ESFP didn’t put the luggage tag on), but the ESFP is nonplussed. Instead, they somehow immediately find the hottest underground club to party at. The next day, they spend the day in the sunshine of a café patio with big sunglasses on, hanging out with the new friends they met the night before. Somehow, before they leave in a couple days they’ll have a goodbye party thrown in their honor.
INTPThey spend all their time at the D-Day beaches and other historical sites, they might not have even gone into Paris. They packed exactly nothing useful, and so far they’ve subsisted on coffee and whatever food they recognize. The highlight of their trip was finding an old guy in a café and talking with him for hours about the history of the region (they even got a personalized tour from the guy the next day).
ESTJThe only personality type more stubborn than anyone in Paris. Insists on explaining the differences between each of the many famous art museums. Most likely to sigh irritably when one of their companions points out no one’s eaten in six hours because it deviates from their itinerary. However, they are also most likely to be the first to help anyone in need, from buying meals to fighting with the American embassy over their friend’s lost passport.
ISTJBought four different guidebooks in preparation for the trip, read them all cover-to-cover. By the time they get to Paris they’ve already mastered the subway system so well they could put a local to shame. Hesitant to try escargot, but when pushed, finds that they love it so much they insist on eating it exactly two more times (not more or they fear they might start to enjoy it less).
ENTJProbably speaks flawless French, but is still practicing DuoLingo the whole flight because their proficiency level has lost a star on the app. They absolutely over packed, especially after they take two full days to shop at every high-end store in Paris. They probably tried to act blasé about some typical tourist thing like the Eiffel Tower even though they secretly loved it the most.
INFPBefore they left they bought a guidebook because someone told them they should. They literally don’t take it out of the wrapping the whole trip. Instead, they take trains all over, to anywhere that strikes their fancy. Along the way they: take a train to another country by mistake, wander museums with names they’ll never remember, and spend a whole afternoon eating Nutella on soft baguette slices and drinking café au lait next to the Seine.
ENFPThey’ve dreamed of going to Paris their whole life. They know all the things they have to do, the places they want to see, their bucket list is miles long. However, once they get there, they find themselves happy to wander and see whatever catches their eye. Yes, they probably make it to most of the places on their list, but they probably remember the things they didn’t plan even more fondly.
ISFPAlmost immediately falls in love with Paris. By their second day they are living like a born and bred Parisian. They probably manage to somehow actually have a romantic rendezvous like in a movie, but they are also the least likely to actually see all the major attractions. (This is most evident when they get off the return flight home and remember they never went to see the Eiffel Tower.)
ESFJGoes with a big group of friends. Definitely hits up all the big tourist attractions in the first couple days, then splits up into smaller groups to explore the city deeper. Winds up exploring art communities with their artistic friend one day, going to a football game with their sports friend the next; by the time their trip is over they’ve experienced just about every part of the city.
ISFJThey spent most of their trip sitting on the balcony of their hotel, reading dime store French novels and watching the tourists and locals walking by below. At night they probably went down and sat in the back of a smoky café and listened to the artists and philosophers who wile away their time playing cards, smoking cigarettes and talking about life. Returns home feeling the most enlightened.
ISTPSpends most of their trip either trying to locate some kind of hidden catacombs they read about on the internet or telling their companions the best way to rob whatever museum they are currently standing in. Most likely to exchange their currency fourteen different ways directly after getting off the plane (also most likely to do this because they want to marvel at having “millions”).
ESTP:Somehow found a palace on Airbnb. Spends one night there, then stays at the youth hostel for the rest of their trip. Definitely posts palace pictures on Instagram for the full length of their trip. Their favorite sight was without a doubt Versailles, but they also loved the love locks bridge (even if they won’t admit it).
INTJGets mad the first time a Parisian refuses to serve them because they don’t speak French well enough. Eventually relaxes when they realize this means they can finally ignore people without consequences as well. Somehow finds every best restaurant (from Michelin to hole-in-the-wall). Probably has a weird opinion on crêpes.
ENFJPlanned their trip meticulously. If anyone made a list and checked it twice it was the ENFJ. All their careful plans are upended however when they and their friends arrive in Paris and their friends all want to do different things. However, in the end the ENFJ manages to put together a ramshackle plan that makes everyone happy, without sacrificing their much anticipated visit to Boulevard Saint-Germain.
I’m no “cool girl.” I’m not going to pretend that I enjoy poker and threesomes, just to make you like me. I’m going to be my weird, psycho self, and if you have a problem with that, you can walk. I’m not the girl who will make your life easy, but I will make it worthwhile.
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I’m always clear about how I feel.If you piss me off, I’m going to tell you exactly what you did that was wrong. But if you turn me on, I’m going to go into extreme detail about where I want you to touch me and what I want to do to your penis. But if you can’t handle me when I’m nagging you to death, you don’t deserve my sexts.
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I’m not the best girlfriend.Unfortunately, I tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time. I won’t always know how to comfort you when you’re upset or how to apologize to you after a fight. But if you can look past the words I’m saying and look into the depths of my soul, you’ll see that I’m trying my best. I’m doing all I can to make you happy.
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I won’t hold back my crazy.If a show kills off my favorite character, I’ll cry about it for days. If my favorite baseball team loses, I’ll throw curses at the ref through the television. I can be a little crazy, because I’m passionate about the things I love. But lucky for you, that means I’ll be crazy in the bedroom, too. Your kinkiest fantasies will become a reality.
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I have high standards I expect you to reach.That means I’m not going to like it if you leave without telling me where you’re going or text another girl behind my back. In fact, it might be grounds for a breakup. If that sounds harsh, then you can hit the road. But believe me, my high standards go both ways. I’ll hold myself to the same level that I hold you, which is why I’ll treat you like a prince as long as I’m your princess.
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I won’t inflate your ego.I won’t laugh at your jokes if they aren’t funny. I won’t tell you that you’re making a good decision when you’re making the wrong one. I’m going to be brutally honest with you. It might be hard to hear, but I’m trying to help you create the life I know you deserve. If I go easy on you, you’ll never reach your full potential.
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I take forever to get ready.Yes, I’m the stereotypical woman who spends an hour in front of the mirror. I won’t apologize for taking pride in my appearance, and you shouldn’t want me to, because it means that you’ll get to see me in fishnets and thongs on a daily basis. You should be happy about it.
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I have hot male friends.I won’t use them to try to make you jealous. If I’m texting them, it’s because I have something to say to them. I’m going to respect your wishes as best as I can, but I’m not going to drop all of my friends for my boyfriend’s benefit. On the plus side, you can have all the female friends you’d like.
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I can be pushy.If I want to take a trip to Disney, I won’t shut up about it until it happens. But you know what that means? That we’re eventually going to go to Disney together. If that’s not a perk of dating me, then I don’t know what is.
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I have trouble making decisions.If you ask me what restaurant I want to go to, it’s going to be an hour before I come up with options for us, and I won’t even be happy with any of them. Dealing with my fickle attitude can be frustrating. Of course, that means you’ll always get to choose where you want to eat.
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I alternate between loving and hating myself.I’m either going to make self-deprecating jokes about how much I hate myself or I’m going to brag about how sexy I am. There is no in between. I’m still working on finding myself, and I want a man who understands that. No, I want a man who loves that.
A surprising hit from 2014 lit up the Netflix global charts in the past few weeks. According to Tudum, Gary Shore’s Dracula Untold sat at the number three and seven positions of Netflix’s movie charts in its first two weeks on the platform in June 2024. The action-horror flick, which stars Luke Evans as Vlad Dracula, sank its teeth in and outperformed newer films such as The Flash and even Transformers: Rise of the Beasts to become one of the most-watched movies on the streaming service.
It’s a remarkable achievement for a feature that’s a decade old and wasn’t that well received upon release. Naturally, it begs the question: Was Dracula Untold judged too harshly to begin with?
How Dracula Untold performed in 2014Dracula Untold swooped into theaters on October 10, 2014. On its opening weekend, it didn’t have the strongest competition as its highest-profile opponents were The Judge and Whiplash, which weren’t exactly scrambling for the same audience. However, there was another threat that proved to be Vlad the Impaler’s holy water: David Fincher’s Gone Girl. Having been released a week earlier, the twisty thriller steamrolled the bloodsucker’s movie out of the way to claim the number one box office spot for the weekend, according to Variety. Ultimately, this impacted the overall financial performance of the film, as it finished with $217.1 million worldwide from a $70 million budget, as per Box Office Mojo. Not the worst results by any means, but certainly not the return that Universal Pictures might have imagined from a movie featuring the legendary Count Dracula.
Universal PicturesThe disappointing financials aside, it was only worse on the review front. The critics held out their crosses, begging Dracula Untold to go back into the coffin and stay there, as the film managed to secure a paltry 25% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. USA Today‘s Brian Truitt said the movie “flirts with dullness,” while Grantland‘s Wesley Morris wrote that “[n]o one needed this story.” Needless to say, it was blow after blow from all angles, and everyone involved in the film must have felt like they were burning in pure sunlight like poor Drac.
The reasons for the hostility toward the origin storyVampires weren’t exactly in vogue in 2014. The Twilight Saga became the punchline of all jokes, and the audience rolled their eyes at anything related to the creatures of the night. Rather than be seen as the fearsome monsters portrayed in Bram Stoker’s Dracula or F. W. Murnau’s Nosferatu, the immortal bloodsuckers were relegated to sparkly whiners who were about as threatening as Garfield the cat after a night of lasagna binging. No one wanted to see a movie about the Count at the time, and it shows in the disheartening box office returns of Dracula Untold.
The other problem was the lack of an appetite for an origin story about the character. Many reviewers pointed out that the mere premise sounded silly and Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 film featured enough details (or at least enough that mattered) about good ol’ Vlad’s backstory. Remember, this was a pre-Joker and Cruella era, and no one understood why a villain should receive their own origin tale. Dracula is a bad guy after all, and he was portrayed in such a manner in Stoker’s classic 1897 novel, so no one should feel too much sympathy for him because he kills people and drinks their blood, right?
Why the movie succeeds in 2024An adequate amount of time has passed for everyone to forget the era in which every YA novel adopted a vampire as the love interest. In fact, there’s enough daylight between the last of Twilight – pardon the pun – and now. So, everyone should be capable of watching Dracula Untold without the baggage of before and the preconceived notions of what it should be. What they see instead is a more than competent action-horror film bursting with oodles of lore and a compelling if somewhat tragic backstory about a pop-culture icon.
Universal PicturesThe film is about a noble prince with the potential for violence, who chooses to protect his son rather than hand him over to Sultan Mehmed II (Dominic Cooper). Expectedly, this causes a war to break out between Wallachia and the Ottoman Empire, so Vlad makes a Faustian bargain with the Master Vampire in an effort to keep his family and kingdom safe. He makes a desperate decision out of love, and he lives to regret it as he surrenders everything to save everyone else around him. In the end, he pays the price and is doomed to roam the Earth as a monster for all eternity.
Dracula Untold doesn’t change the mythology, but adds another layer to the complexity of Count Dracula. Yes, he’s a killer and monster, but he was also a man who gave up his humanity for love. Isn’t that the ultimate sacrifice one can make? Perhaps it’s time to give the film the credit it deserved back in 2014. After all, it’s no worse than 2017’s The Mummy, which kicked the stuffing out of the Dark Universe before it even started.
If your first introduction to the world of Myers-Briggs was through an online test, chances are you’re confused about your type. Online tests are notorious for giving inaccurate/changing results, for the following reasons:
(1) The questions are overly theoretical and can be unclear.
(2) The self-bias factor (that is, seeing yourself as you’d like to be rather than as you are) skews results immensely. This is true for any self-assessment quiz.
(3) Most of the free online Myers-Briggs quizzes test using the letter dichotomies (Telling you you’re an I or an E, an F or a T, etc.) rather than employing the underlying theory of Type Psychology – the cognitive functions.
What are these “Cognitive Functions?”Glad you asked. Cognitive functions are the technical term for “Modes of processing information and making decisions based on your Myers-Briggs type.” Each type has four (out of a possible eight) cognitive functions, which they use in a specific order. Identifying which functions you use – and in what order – is the most accurate way to type yourself or anyone else. The functions necessitate the four-letter type, not the other way around. This is why the best way to determine your type is to either visit a practitioner who types using cognitive functions, or to educate yourself on them and determine which ones you use.
Tell me more about these functions!Of the eight cognitive functions, four are extroverted (oriented toward action and interaction with the world around you) and four are introverted (oriented toward analysis and reflection). Regardless of whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, we each have two extroverted functions and two introverted functions. Extroverts just prefer using their main extroverted function over their main introverted function and vice versa.
Of the eight cognitive functions, four are perceptive (focused on taking in new information and examining possibilities) and four are decision-based (focused on reaching conclusions and implementing plans). Regardless of whether you’re a perceiver or a judger, we each have two perceptive functions and two judging ones.
Overall, you have one extroverted perceptive function, one introverted perceptive function, one extroverted judgment function and one introverted judgment function.
Of those functions, one is an intuitive function, one is a sensing function, one is a thinking function and one is a feeling function. This explains why Thinkers occasionally have feelings and Feelers occasionally make logical decisions. It also explains why Perceivers can sometimes be very structured and Judgers can sometimes go with the flow. We’re all a bit of everything, but your type is ultimately determined by which cognitive functions you have and what order you use them in.
So what are my options?Great, let’s get to it. Here is an overview of the eight cognitive functions:
Perceptive Functions:
Extroverted Intuition (Ne):
Extroverted intuition generates new possibilities, synthesizes abstract ideas and picks up on connections in the external environment. Extroverted intuition is capable of entertaining multiple contradictory ideas simultaneously as it sees almost every side to every situation. It is predominantly a future-oriented function that examines all the possibilities of what could happen next.
People who lead with extroverted intuition are usually excitable, entrepreneurial and highly creative. They intrinsically enjoy debating ideas, exploring various interests and they view almost everything in life as a challenge. They are constantly thinking about what to do or experience next, but have a difficult time sticking with just one idea or plan long-term.
Introverted Intuition (Ni):
Introverted intuition forms a framework of how the world works based on thorough, abstract analysis of past and current events. It aims to identify the ‘essence’ of ideas, theories, people and situations in order to fit them into a larger schema. Introverted intuition is a forward thinking function that seeks to identify the optimal or most likely outcome of future events.
People who lead with introverted intuition are usually intense, focused and highly perceptive of inconsistencies that arise in their external environment. They enjoy riddles, puzzles and wordplay. They often experience ‘hunches’ or ‘aha’ moments that they may identify as epiphanies. Their intense foresight is a product of their future-oriented introverted intuition subtly pairing with their inferior extroverted sensing.
Extroverted Sensing (Se):
Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.
People who lead with extroverted sensing are often naturally athletic, highly impulsive and enjoy ever-changing stimuli. They place a high value on aesthetics and lust after the ‘finer things in life.’ Extroverted sensors usually aren’t interested in over-analyzing a situation – they simply see what they want and they go for it. These types tend to exude a natural sense of confidence, as they are usually quite sure of who they are and what they want.
Introverted Sensing (Si):
Introverted sensing is a detail-oriented, information storage function. It takes note of facts, events and occurrences exactly as they happen and categorizes them, somewhat like an internal filing system. This is a past-oriented function that dwells predominantly on what has been and it often gives way to nostalgia.
People who lead with introverted sensing are organized and structured, as they believe in being prepared for any potential mishap. They hold tradition in high esteem and believe that the tried and true method is always the best way of getting things done. Introverted sensors believe that the future will repeat the past, more so than any other type.
Judging/Decision-Making Functions:
Introverted Feeling (Fi):
Introverted feeling is the in-depth analysis of emotional processes and morality. It seeks to break down emotions to their core and understand them as wholly as possible. It also develops a strong internal system of right and wrong, which the Fi user employs to make decisions. Introverted feeling searches for the deeper meaning behind absolutely everything. Introverted feelers are highly aware of and in touch with their own emotions, and when they put themselves in the shoes of others, they can often feel their pain or joy on a personal level.
People who lead with introverted feeling are compassionate, analytical and often highly concerned with moral issues. They are usually highly creative or artistic, and may feel as though nobody else truly understands who they are deep down. Because their feelings are introverted, Fi-dominant types aren’t always comfortable expressing how they feel outwardly. They have a rich inner world that they want to guard and yet they often secretly wish that others were capable of tapping into it.
Extroverted Feeling (Fe):
Extroverted feeling is highly concerned with maintaining social norms and keeping the peace. It is a decision-making function that strives to do what is best for the group and picks up naturally on the emotions of others. It is a mirroring function that may cause the user to have trouble deciphering their own feelings without the input of others. Extroverted feeling requires social interaction to stay fulfilled, more so than any other function.
People who lead with extroverted feeling are highly reactive to the feelings of others. They seek out social interaction relentlessly, as they feel the happiest and most alive when they are in the company of loved ones. They seek to maintain harmony and keep the peace at all costs – they cannot fully enjoy themselves unless the people around them are healthy, happy and comfortable.
Extroverted Thinking (Te):
Extroverted thinking seeks to impose order on the external environment as efficiently and logically as possible. It values productivity above all else and is a results-based, action-oriented function. Extroverted thinking naturally implements concrete plans for accomplishing goals and is quick to make decisions.
People who lead with extroverted thinking are frank, decisive and highly productive in every capacity. They are natural leaders in the workplace as they are quick to take charge and impose order. Dominant extroverted thinkers may come across as bossy or opinionated to those who lack the function, but in reality they are simply pointing out what they believe to be the most efficient course of action for everyone involved.
Introverted Thinking (Ti):
Introverted thinking is an information-gathering function that seeks to form a framework for how the world works on a concrete, tangible level. It is adept at understanding systems and naturally notices inconsistencies within them. Introverted thinking seeks a thorough understanding of how things work – it wants to deconstruct things to look at the individual parts and see how things function as a whole.
People who lead with introverted thinking are logical, systematic and objective to a fault. They enjoy finding ‘short-cuts’ that increase efficiency within a given system. Ti-dominants are often heavily introverted, as they take a great deal of time to understand how things work before they feel comfortable sharing or acting on their knowledge.
Which type uses which functions?It is important to note that you cannot pick and choose cognitive functions: They work in specific groups, some of which are mutually exclusive. For example, you cannot have extroverted feeling AND introverted feeling: You have one or the other.
Also, the order in which you use each function is incredibly important. While looking at the types, think of which functions you use all the time, which you use some of the time, and which you rarely use. You may not even notice yourself using your third and fourth functions on a regular basis, so it’s best to identify which two functions you use most regularly.
How do I know what order I use my functions in?
It can be confusing trying to figure this out. We’re often more aware of our second function than our first, as we are somewhat removed from our second function and can see it more objectively.
Think of it like this: You are in a swimming pool and your first (or “dominant”) function is the water. It’s everywhere. It’s what you do without thinking about it. It’s your natural first impulse to every situation – it comes to you so naturally that you may not even notice yourself using it.
Your second function (known as your auxiliary function) is like the ladder, or the waterslide. To an extent, you can choose to use it or not use it. You are very aware of its presence. You can’t make it go away, but you can temporarily ignore it. You have to swim through the water to get there.
Your third and fourth functions (Or your “tertiary” and “inferior” functions) are less accessible to you, as you may not fully develop them until you are nearing middle age. When you’re younger, your third and fourth functions are primarily called upon when you are under stress. If you started drowning in the water, your tertiary and inferior functions would be the life raft that you cling to. Eventually, you can integrate them to become pool toys that you use on a regular basis. Once you’ve done this, you will finally have a well-balanced, relaxing pool experience. We can also refer to this as type actualization.
The breakdown of functions and the order in which they’re used is as follows for each type:
- ENFP: Ne – Fi – Te – Si
- INFP: Fi – Ne – Si – Te
- INFJ: Ni – Fe – Ti – Se
- ENFJ: Fe – Ni – Se – Ti
- ISTJ: Si – Te – Fi – Ne
- ESTJ: Te – Si – Ne – Fi
- ISTP: Ti – Se – Ni – Fe
- ESTP: Se – Ti – Fe – Ni
- INTJ: Ni – Te – Fi – Se
- INTP: Ti – Ne – Si – Fe
- ENTJ: Te – Ni – Se – Fi
- ENTP: Ne – Ti – Fe – Si
- ISFJ: Si – Fe – Ti – Ne
- ISFP: Fi – Se – Ni – Te
- ESFJ: Fe – Si – Ne – Ti
- ESFP: Se – Fi – Te – Ni
Any type can, theoretically, access any of the eight cognitive functions, but tapping into a function that is not part of your type’s stacking will be an incredibly exhausting experience.
Why is it important to know about functions?Understanding cognitive functions is imperative to understanding type. The four-letter dichotomies cannot possibly explain the complexity of our personalities – we are all thinkers, feelers, sensors and intuitives in various situations. The cognitive functions allow us to understand when we use each function and how it impacts our decision-making process.
Cognitive functions also help us to distinguish between types with clarity. No more thinking you’re an ENFP/J! Now you know that ENFPs and ENFJs actually share zero cognitive functions. If you’re an ENFP who employs a great deal of structure into your life, it simply means you’ve developed your extroverted thinking function effectively.
Lastly, having a thorough understanding of cognitive functions helps us understand how type can develop without actually changing (theoretically type does not/cannot change throughout a lifetime). An INFP may begin developing their extroverted thinking in their thirties or forties but that does not mean they are now an INTP! It simply means they are becoming a more well-rounded version of their own type.
For the rest of 2024, don’t be shy about expressing your feelings. Life is too short to wonder what would have happened if you opened your mouth and told someone how you feel. If you’ve been crushing on someone, fill them in on your feelings. Let them know that you’re interested in seeing them one-on-one. Don’t let another day go by without letting them know what they mean to you. Even if you end up getting turned down, at least you can start to move on. At least you won’t have to spend another year pining after them, wondering whether they feel the same way. There’s nothing embarrassing about rejection. It means you were brave enough to take a leap. It means you refused to shrink into the background. It means you took your life into your own hands. And who knows, maybe it will work out. Maybe your new love story will begin soon.
For the rest of 2024, be honest about your intentions and expectations. Don’t pretend everything is okay when you’re secretly suffering on the inside. Be forward about what you want and what you cannot stand. Remember, you’re allowed to be loud. You’re allowed to voice your frustrations. You’re allowed to ask for what you want and say no when you’re faced with something you don’t want. Even though you’re used to acting polite and keeping the peace, don’t be afraid of causing a stir. Don’t be so concerned with accidentally hurting other people that you allow them to hurt you. Be vocal about what you want. Fight for what you want.
For the rest of 2024, stop making excuses. Stop putting off your dreams until tomorrow. If you want to pursue a certain path, then start your journey today. Don’t wait until tomorrow or next month or next year. Don’t miss out on another second of the happiness that following your passion will bring you. This doesn’t mean you need to quit your job or move across the country. You don’t have to make a major life change that will disrupt your status quo. You can start small. Take baby steps. But don’t procrastinate any longer. Don’t act like your future isn’t up to you. You’re in control of where you head next. You get to decide whether today is going to be just like yesterday and the day before – or whether you’re going to try something new, something that will thrill you.
For the rest of 2024, don’t let your overthinking convince you to give up on your dreams. Don’t let your doubts overpower your hopes for the future. Even though it’s scary to step into the unknown, it’s worth the effort. You’re going to be so proud of yourself for listening to your heart, for taking a chance on yourself, for believing you have what it takes to live the life you’ve always dreamed of having. You deserve to do something for yourself for a change. You’re always worrying about others, but it’s time to make a decision that benefits yourself. It’s time to work toward the goals that you’ve been daydreaming about for ages. You know what you want. Now go out there and get it.
There aren’t many actors in Hollywood that have reinvented themselves to the same extent as Robert Pattinson. A former teen heartthrob known for his star-making performance in the Twilight series, Pattinson successfully rebuilt his professional reputation by the mid 2010s, reasserting his place as a versatile dramatic performer throughout the next decade.
Returning to mainstream film with more recent movies like Tenet and The Batman, Pattinson has proven himself far more than a mere teen idol, handling everything from gritty superhero films to Lovecraftian horror films with awe-inspiring ease.
The Batman (2022)Warner Bros.Tenet may have spelled out Pattinson’s return to mainstream pop culture, but The Batman outfitted the former teen star with his first major role since Twilight’s conclusion roughly a decade prior. A notably darker interpretation of the Dark Knight’s comic book adventures, Pattinson offered a fresh and original interpretation of the title character in 2022’s The Batman. Plagued by his parents’ deaths and longing to make a difference in Gotham City, Pattinson’s Caped Crusader grapples with an assortment of issues within The Batman, distancing himself from almost every portrayal of the character that came prior. Watch The Batman on Max.
The Lighthouse (2019)A24As with each of director Robert Eggers’ movies, The Lighthouse is unlike any other movie in contemporary cinema, even when compared to Eggers’ previous work in 2015’s The Witch. A bold, black-and-white psychological horror film, The Lighthouse focuses on two men’s gradual descent into insanity while tending to an isolated New England lighthouse in the late 19th century. Adopting period-accurate maritime accents and mumbling their way through colorfully nonsensical tirades, Pattinson and his co-star Willem Dafoe disappear into their roles in The Lighthouse, ensuring a movie as unforgettably strange as The Shining, The Witch, or The Babadook before it. Watch The Lighthouse on Max.
Good Time (2017)A24A breathtaking crime thriller from the endlessly talented Safdie brothers, Pattinson once again managed to show off his eminent adaptability as an actor through his gripping performance in Good Time. Hurtling through each scene with grit and determination, Pattinson gives it his all as desperate New York thief Connie Nikas. Desperately trying to free his imprisoned brother from jail, Pattinson’s Connie constantly races against the clock in an attempt to help his younger sibling any way he can, facing a parade of dangerous obstacles along the way. Watch Good Time on Max.
High Life (2018)A24Between its futuristic setting, ensemble cast, and nonlinear presentation, there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to 2018’s High Life. A wondrous sci-fi horror film from respected auteur Claire Denis, High Life once again finds Pattinson working alongside a world-renowned filmmaker. As with his various collaborations with the Safdies, Christopher Nolan, and Robert Eggers, Pattinson wholeheartedly commits to his starring role in High Life, opting for a more subtle performance when it comes to the movie’s withdrawn lead character. Watch High Life on Max.
Tenet (2020)Warner Bros.Pattinson’s long-awaited return to mainstream cinema came with Christopher Nolan’s time-bending 2020 thriller, Tenet. After almost a decade spent in the indie circuit, Pattinson had successfully broken free from audiences’ perception of him as Edward Cullen, allowing him to seamlessly inhabit the role of Tenet’s Neil. An enigmatic espionage operative with a mysterious connection to the Protagonist’s past, Pattinson’s Neil manages to hit all the major characteristics when it comes to a James Bond-esque British spy, especially in regards to his charm and utter likability as a character. Watch Tenet on Amazon Video.
The Rover (2014)Roadshow FilmsOne of the earliest indie films Pattinson made after Twilight, The Rover also serves as one of the best post-apocalyptic films of the past decade. Taking some degree of inspiration from Mad Max, The Rover pits Guy Pearce’s grizzled Australian wanderer with Pattinson’s young, relatively inexperienced amateur thief, Reynolds. Stumbling through each scene with the wide-eyed expression of a lost puppy, Pattinson expertly displays Reynolds’ childlike naivety in each of his scenes, maintaining an excellent dynamic with Pearce’s hardened lone survivor. Watch The Rover on Amazon Video.
Damsel (2018)Magnolia PicturesA little-known addition to Pattinson’s filmography, Damsel also happens to provide the actor with one of his most unusual roles yet. A satirical take on the traditional singing cowboy archetype, Pattinson takes center stage in Damsel as the loquacious Western traveler, Samuel Alabaster. Billing himself as a charismatic pioneer who’s only interested in reuniting with his lost love, the sobering reality behind Samuel’s facade makes Damsel the fascinating modern film it is, subverting every trope viewers associate with the traditional Western narrative. Watch Damsel on Prime Video and FreeVee.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy reveals the four sadistic mind games you should watch out for if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath. Narcissistic people don’t live by any kind of moral code, so they play the game of, “I’ll do whatever I want to people, even if it harms them, so long as I get what I want.” For the narcissistic person, the ends justifies the means. Psychopaths are even more Machiavellian in the sense that they will deliberately con others for profit or the pleasure of duping delight. They don’t mind lying to people, threatening them, deceiving them, or pulling the wool over their eyes if it means they will get their needs met, no matter who they hurt in the process. This is the type of person who will promise you marriage, children, and a white picket fence – only to run off with your savings or be exposed for having a second family and double life. Most people with a solid sense of morality and compassion (or even the bare minimum) would be careful not to lead people on, dangle the carrot of a false future to get them to invest in something under false pretenses, be excessively duplicitous about who they are or punish the generosity and kindness of others with cruelty. Narcissistic and psychopathic people do so frequently and without remorse.
The “waiting” and stalking game. Empathic people don’t deliberately withhold or cruelly withdraw their kindness, attention, or affection on purpose just to provoke you. Narcissistic and psychopathic people do this in spades. They issue the silent treatment, stonewalling, and pretend to abandon you to train you into complying to their demands. They wait, watch, and track your every move to ensure they know what you’re up to. That way, they can strike at vulnerable moments. This is the type of relationship partner who will subject you to the silent treatment, only to watch you silently on social media and give you a text as soon as they know you’re out with friends. Or the dating partner who leads you on for months and then ghosts you, only to resurface during the holidays to deliberately tarnish times of joy and peace. Empathic people do not engage in these types of “monitoring” behaviors nor do they go out of their way to provoke people.
The “jealousy” game. Jealousy induction is associated with both narcissistic and psychopathic traits. Narcissists and psychopaths try to provoke jealousy on purpose for power and control, test the relationship, compensate for insecurity (mostly in the case of vulnerable narcissists rather than grandiose narcissists) or to exact revenge. This is the relationship partner who cannot stop bringing up their ex as a way to compare you or the dating partner who repeatedly checks out the waiter or waitress while side-eyeing you for your reaction to their behavior. It gives such types a thrill to feel like they might have others competing for them, even if no one is.
The “devaluation” game. Ever wondered why, in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath, you felt like if you were “out of sight” you were also treated as “out of mind” – as if you had simply disappeared or been handed an invisibility cloak? Narcissists can treat you that way on purpose to punish you for perceived slights, but for some narcissistic and psychopathic people, they feel unable to regard you as an autonomous human being once you have slighted them, preferring to view you as a threat or even try to disregard your existence altogether once you’re no longer considered an extension of them, someone who caters to their needs and desires without boundaries. There is also something known as relational object constancy or emotional permanence, and narcissistic and psychopathic people especially lack it. This is the ability to hold two states at once, such as, “I love this person and have a close bond with them,” and “They threatened my ego.” Many dark personality types lack the full ability to establish such close bonds in the first place, so they were never truly attached in the beginning when they proceeded to love bomb you and shower you with praise, attention, and affection. This is the husband who immediately becomes infatuated with his secretary after years of marriage and abandons his family without a second thought, or the wife who conveniently “forgets” her husband exists during her numerous affairs, only to treat him with callous indifference or gaslighting when called out. If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic or psychopathic individual, know that you are not to blame and that you never deserved the mistreatment or manipulation you endured. You deserve to be in a healthy and safe relationship and to free yourself from toxic cycles. | Shahida Arabi is a published researcher specializing in narcissism and the bestselling author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse.
ENTPWalking into their intro to law class, they find a seat and sit down, before taking a chance to look around. It’s then that they realize that the classmate sitting next to them is looking at them. “Sorry, am I in your seat?” The ENTP asks, half-rising out of their chair. “No, no! Actually I was just thinking that you look like you take good notes.” The person laughs. The ENTP sits back down. “I look that nerdy huh? Is it the theory of relativity shirt? It’s the shirt, I knew it.” Their classmate laughs again, “A little bit, but don’t worry you’re the good kind of nerdy. I’m calling you right now as my study partner, no takebacks.” Now it’s the ENTP’s turn to smile.
ESFPTheir significant other stages a big breakup scene in a restaurant that culminates with them throwing a drink at the ESFP before storming out. As the ESFP sits and tries to wipe off their face, a sympathetic waiter appears with a bunch of napkins. “Free replacement drink?” They ask. “Only if you drink it with me.” The ESFP replies. The waiter smiles and checks their watch. “I’m off in 15, can you wait that long?” The ESFP laughs, “Maybe.”
INTPIn a lecture hall, they correct their professor and it quickly grows into an argument. They go around and around, both growing more and more frustrated until someone sitting in the back raises their hand and sides with the INTP. The professor looks defeated at the prospect of two of their brightest students teaming up against them and moves on. After class the classmate walks up to the INTP and tells them they thought their arguments were really good, and would they like to talk more about the topic sometime?
ESTJWaiting for a new client at a business lunch. Seeing their client they rise to shake their hand and get high-fived instead. “I tell you what, whatever you’re selling, I’m already in” the client laughs and throws themselves into the chair. The ESTJ sits back down slowly, a little taken aback. However, as the lunch wears on, they find themselves being worn down by the kind of inescapable happy charm the client emits. As the ESTJ leaves, they almost ask the client for their Linkedin but stop themselves for fear of seeming too forward. They shouldn’t have worried, because as they’re waiting for the valet to bring their car around the client comes running outside to get their number.
ISTJThe annual company-wide picnic is in full swing when they announce they’re going to award the winner of the jelly bean guessing contest. The ISTJ is sure that they have done their math correctly, but to their surprise, two names are called, and in a bit of confusion they get pulled up front with a cute stranger from another department. “They both guessed the correct amount; I guess you guys can split the restaurant gift card.” The boss laughs awkwardly. As the ISTJ walks away with their fellow winner, they manage to pull themselves together and ask if the stranger wants to take them up on the idea to split the gift card together. They know they’re in trouble when the stranger smiles brilliantly and the ISTJ is so distracted they completely miss the answer (it was yes).
ENTJThe party is at the cusp of winding down and the ENTJ is stirring their drink absentmindedly and calculating how many hours they could have already been asleep for. Suddenly someone slides onto the chair next to them and in hushed tones explains that they may have bet someone they were a world class thief, and also maybe that the ENTJ was their lawyer and could the ENTJ please play along for $50? The ENTJ laughs, agrees and plays the part with some (barely any) degree of believability. “I’m not paying $50 for that performance.” The stranger laughs after the bet is won, “C’mon, I’ll buy you drink somewhere else.”
INFPSitting in the back of a coffee shop with their coffee and a book, actively ignoring the slam poetry going on in the front of the small space. So actively ignoring in fact, they don’t even notice the paper airplane that drifted onto their table for several minutes. When they do, they unfold it to read a message written inside: Are you enjoying the poetry? They look up and around for the source and their eyes land on the face of an attractive person sitting two tables over who’s watching them. The INFP smiles and makes a face. The stranger holds up one finger as if to say wait a moment. They make another airplane and send it to the INFP, who is trying not to laugh at this point. They open it and read the second message: Come with me? I know another coffee shop that definitely doesn’t have slam poetry. The INFP looks up and nods enthusiastically. They meet the stranger on the sidewalk. “I’m warning you, if the coffee’s bad I’m going back to risk the poetry” the INFP says, with a smile tugging at their lips. “Deal.” The stranger laughs.
ENFPSitting half asleep on a beach chair near a lake, a book slipping out of their hands. A dog runs up to them followed by their attractive owner who apologizes profusely before recognizing the book the ENFP is reading. They talk for what feels like only a little while, the day turning into night before turning into dawn before either of them notice the time. When the ENFP’s friends finally come looking for them, the ENFP reassures them that they’re fine. In fact, they couldn’t be better as they’ve agreed to go out on their new romantic interest’s boat later today.
INFJStapling up flyers around campus, when they notice someone is tearing them down. “Hey, hey, stop, what are you doing?” The person stops and sets their stack of torn down flyers on a bench. “this event isn’t on campus and so you can’t put up flyers.” The INFJ stares. “Who are you, the dean of students?” The person sighs. “Pretty much, I’m student body president.” “For real? Do we actually have one in college?” The INFJ asks. “Yep.” The person replies, looking down at the posters, “shame though, this actually looks really cool.” “You should come! It’s going to be great.” The INFJ, looks up with a smile “In fact the student body president is even trying to shut us down.” The president laughs, “Okay, okay, look you can advertise for it on the campus Facebook page, deal?” “As long as you’re going to show up, deal.”
ISFPThey just got off the plane to spend the whole summer in Europe. As they examine their guidebook, they hurry down a cobblestone street and walk directly into someone. They drop their guidebook and back pack and start apologizing profusely in what they hope is the native language. The stranger laughs and picks up the ISFP’s things. “Don’t worry about it.” They respond in perfect English as they hand the guidebook back. “If you want someone to really show you around, come by the café down the street, I’ll show you around.” They wink and disappear down the road, leaving the ISFP a little dazed, but now sure of their first stop tomorrow morning.
ESFJStanding in the ticket line with their friends at the movies, they voice their excitement to see an upcoming movie. From behind them someone agrees. The ESFJ turns and sees an attractive person standing there smiling with their friends. “Really? I only worry-“ they begin, “That it’ll never live up to the book?” the stranger interrupts. “Yes!” The ESFJ exclaims. They talk all the way through the ticket and concession lines until they have to part to meet their friends in different theaters. As the ESFJ walks out of the movie, they look for their new friend, but with a bit of disappointment don’t see them. That disappointment melts away however when they turn their phone back on to see a new Facebook friend request.
ISFJOn their way home from work they stop at the grocery store. They are in a hurry to get home, and since they only need a few items, they hurry past the carts and into the aisles. They’ve almost picked up everything they need when they suddenly remember they agreed to make a cake for a friend’s birthday. With a sigh they go to find cake mix and, even though their hands are pretty full at this point, attempt to grab the box anyway. In the blink of an eye they feel themselves lose their grip on the items they were holding and close their eyes in anticipation of the crash. After a moment they open their eyes and realize an attractive stranger is holding out the items. “Almost dropped something.” The stranger smiles. “Oh, thank you, I’m really sorry.” The ISFJ says a little self-consciously. “No worries, here, I’m going up to check out anyway, let me help you carry some of that.” The stranger adds, taking some more things from the ISFJ. “Oh, no, I don’t want to trouble you.” The ISFJ says. “Hey, save me a piece of that cake” the stranger nods at the box of cake mix, “and we’re even”.
ISTPThey got put into probationary training at work for disobeying orders once too many times. Now they have to shadow whoever the higher-ups deem enough of a goody two shoes to handle retraining someone. They are ready to ditch their “mentor” until they realize that while their mentor may be a goody two shoes, they aren’t willing to give up on their mentee, even if it means helping the ISTP with some of their dubious plans.
ESTPThey got bet $100 they couldn’t talk to the hottest person in the bar. They slide up next to the hot person and explain their situation, keeping one eye on their friends who shake their heads in disbelief as the ESTP takes a phone number and a free shot. Little do they know they’re going to find themselves buying dinner for that person tomorrow night with that $100.
INTJThey are buying groceries. They shake their head and make a wry comment after reading that the artichoke prices have increased by 30 cents. They are surprised to hear someone burst into laughter behind them. The owner of the laugh smiles and points out the INTJ is wearing $1500 shoes. The INTJ surprises themselves by asking for the person’s number and calls them 2 full days before they planned to.
ENFJThey presumed it would be a quiet day at work, but when they walk in they’re told they have to show a new employee around. They prepare themselves for the worst, but when they go to look for their charge they find someone removing all the director’s photos from their frames in the lobby. The new person doesn’t stop, but simply removes the last photo, placing it in their bag before motioning for the ENFJ to lead the way. At the end of the tour they hand the ENFJ one of the photos with their phone number over the face. “My number.” They wink and slip into their new department.
It’s no secret that certain personality types have a history of getting together with certain other personality types – so much so that various theories have emerged discussing which types are the ‘ideal matches’ for which other types. Below, I went straight to the horses mouth and surveyed over 1700 personality enthusiasts to determine where each type’s main attraction lies — that is, if they displayed a preference at all!
ENFP 23% of ENFPs listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 14% listed themselves as most attracted to INFJs. * 13% listed themselves as most attracted to other ENFPs*.
Overall, ENFPs showed a significant preference for other intuitive-dominant personality types.
INFP 20% of INFPS listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 14% listed themselves as most attracted to ENFJs. * 10% listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs*.
Overall, INFPs showed a significant preference for intuitive, feeling personality types, followed closely by intuitive, thinking personality types.
ENFJ 15% of ENFJs listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 13% listed themselves as most attracted to INFPs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to either ENTPs or INTPs*.
ENFJs displayed a wide array of type preferences, but generally indicated a preference for intuitive personalities over sensing personalities (with ISTJ types being the exception at 10%).
INFJ 21% of INFJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 14% listed themselves as most attracted to ENTPs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs*.
Overall, INFJs showed a significant preference for other intuitive-dominant personality types.
ENTP 20% of ENTPs listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 15% listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPs. * 10% listed themselves as most attracted to INFJs*.
Overall, ENTPs showed a significant preference for other intuitive-dominant personality types.
INTP 15% of INTPS listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 13% listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 12% listed themselves as most attracted to ENTJs or ENTPs*.
Despite being thinking-dominant types, INTPs displayed an overall preference for intuitive-dominant types (closely followed by intuitive-auxiliary types).
ENTJ 24% of ENTJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 15% listed themselves as most attracted to INTPs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to ENTPs*.
ENTJs displayed a significant preference for types that use extroverted intuition – with the exception of INFPs, whom only 2% listed themselves as being most attracted to.
INTJ 26% of INTJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 13% listed themselves as most attracted to either ENTPs or ENTJs. * 10% listed themselves as most attracted to other INTJs*.
INTJs showed a significant preference for other intuitive-dominant personality types.
ESTPUnfortunately, this survey only received 8 ESTP responses, which was not enough to form conclusive results about which type they find most attractive.
ISTP 39% of ISTPs listed themselves as most attracted to ESTPS. * 17% listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to ISFJs*.
While the ISTP’s results were largely skewed in favor of ESTP and ENFP types, it’s important to note that we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
ESTJ 27% of ESTJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 12% listed themselves as most attracted to ISTJs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to ENFJs*.
While the ESTJ’s preference for ENFP types was surprising, it’s important to note that we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
ISTJ 20% of ISTJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 16% listed themselves as most attracted to INTPs*.
Interestingly, the ISTJ type displayed the strongest attraction to their dichotomous four-letter opposite, the ENFP. That being noted, we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
ESFP 17% of ESFPs listed themselves as most attracted to INFJs. * 12% listed themselves as most attracted to either ISTJs or INTPs*.
ESFPs displayed a relatively balanced set of preferences across the sixteen types.
ISFP 23% of ISFPs listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 16% listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPs. * 10% listed themselves as most attracted to other ISFPs*.
Interestingly, ISFPs displayed a strong preference toward intuitive-dominant types. That being said, we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
ESFJ 12% of ESFJs listed themselves as most attracted to INTPs*. * The remainder of the results were relatively balanced across all types.
Overall, we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
ISFJ 19% of ISFJs listed themselves as most attracted to ENFPS. * 16% listed themselves as most attracted to INTJs. * 11% listed themselves as most attracted to INTPs*.
Interestingly, ISFJs displayed a strong preference for intuitive types. That being said, we did not receive enough responses from this type to deem their preferences significant.
You aren’t destined to end up alone. If you want to find someone to hug and kiss and cuddle, then you will. Don’t let your insecurities convince you that you’re unlovable. Here’s an open letter to anyone who thinks they’re too fucked up to find love:
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Someone out there is as fucked up as you are.You’ve heard the famous quote: “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love.” Replace the word “weird” with “fucked up” and the saying is spot on. We’re all messed up. Just in different ways.
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You’re not as bad as you think you are.You grew up with divorced parents. You’re still a virgin. You’ve been cheated on. You were the one to cheat on someone else. So what? Everyone has baggage. There’s someone out there who will be able to deal with yours.
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You’re not fucked up — the world is.You live in a world that tells you that you should feel comfortable with your body, but that you shouldn’t sleep around. In a world that tells you not to care what others think about you, but that you should shave and stay skinny if you want them to like you. It’s impossible to be perfect in this imperfect world. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
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Love is a pretty fucked up thing.People kill for love. They die for love. It’s a powerful emotion that can drive a sane man crazy and turn a sweet woman into a psycho. There’s nothing logical about the way it works. True love is a bizarre thing. Only bizarre people can handle it.
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There’s someone out there for everyone.Admit it. You have some pretty strange friends in happy relationships. You’ve wasted hours wondering how they could’ve landed someone while you’re still single, but the answer is simple. There’s someone out there for everyone. They’ve just found their “someone” faster than you have.
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You can change if you want to change.You shouldn’t change yourself for your partner, but if you actually hate something about yourself, guess what? You have the power to change it. Stop moping about how shy you are or how lazy you are. Break out of your comfort zone. Become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
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Being hard to love is a different story.You might be hard to love, but you’re not too fucked up to be loved. There’s a difference. Anyone worthwhile is hard to love, because they have high standards. They won’t settle for being treated like shit, so they require effort and attention. And that’s not a bad thing.
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Give yourself some credit.Why are you being so hard on yourself? What caused you to think that you’re such a fuck up? Before you focus on finding someone else to love you, you should really learn to love yourself. You need to get along with the person you see in the mirror every morning.
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You’re still breathing.You know what that means? That you’re a survivor. It doesn’t matter if you have scars on your wrists or your heart. Either way, you’re alive. You’ve made it through. Who wouldn’t love someone as tough as you?
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You’re wrong.If you think you’re too fucked up to find love, I’m sorry, but you’re just plain wrong. Maybe there isn’t anyone out there who loves you in a romantic or sexual way yet, but you have parents, friends, and pets who love you. They prove that you’re not unlovable.
You might have heard people talking about this documentary on TikTok–now you can watch it on Netflix to see how wild it truly is.
By the name, you might think Tickled would be a silly little concept for a documentary. That was the assumption of David Farrier, too, the New Zealand TV reporter who started researching “competitive endurance tickling” videos as part of just a silly little section for his show. He found old videos of competitive tickling from the 1990s and figured a quick interview with the production company who released these videos could elicit a few laughs and that’s it. After all, the videos appeared to just be a couple buff guys getting tied down and tickled relentlessly until they gave up. Innocent, right? Oh, how wrong he was.
What starts lightheartedly enough soon becomes something else entirely. Little did Farrier know, his light research into tickling videos would take him from New Zealand to America as he comes across one twist after another, including a seedy underbelly no one would expect. I don’t want to spoil it for you, because this documentary gets insane by the end. You might just want to go watch it for yourself.
Speaking of which, Tickled is now on Netflix. If you’re in the mood for a wild and dark true story that keeps you on your toes (and makes you never want to get tickled ever again), check it out.
Some couples are miserable to hang around, even if both individuals are completely fine on their own. But there are other couples who are even more fun when they’re in the same room together, who everyone loves to invite to their parties and get togethers. Here are a few concrete signs that you’re the fun couple everyone loves being around:
You laugh with each other, not at each other.You might end up teasing each other or poking fun at each other while telling funny anecdotes to your friend group, but it’s always in a fun, playful way. You’re never trying to bring each other down or make each other look like the bad guy. You would never risk making each other feel horrible in order to make your friends laugh. You are always being respectful of your partner, whether they’re sitting next to you to tell their side of the story or not.
You save your arguments for the privacy of your own home.You don’t start fighting in the middle of dinner. Or worse, asking your other friends to pick sides in your argument. You keep your problems to yourself. You can deal with them when you get home so you can have a mature, constructive conversation with each other. Screaming matches in front of your friends are off the table.
You aren’t attached at the hip.But you aren’t weirdly avoiding each other either. Basically, even though you might spend most of the night sitting together, you’re both comfortable mingling on your own. You don’t need to be at each other’s side constantly. You’re able to hold a conversation with their friends and they can hold a conversation with your friends. During outings, you work well as a team and as individuals.
You are the same person around your partner that you are all alone.Your friends don’t feel like they’re hanging out with a completely different version of you when your partner is around. They don’t feel like you’re changing yourself to impress them or shrinking yourself to avoid upsetting them. You’re the same exact person, whether your partner is by your side or not.
You aren’t oversharing during group conversations.You aren’t talking about your sex life or the massive argument that you had the other night. The couple stories you share with your friends are all party-appropriate. Neither of you are crossing any boundaries, and that extends to how much you’re physically touching. Hand holding and a few kisses are fine, but you aren’t making out at the table while your other friends are trying to talk.
You make each other laugh and lift each other up.You clearly enjoy each other’s company. Everyone loves seeing you together because you make such a great match. You talk each other up instead of bringing each other down. You make each other happier, not more stressed and miserable. Overall, your friends love hanging out with you as a couple because you’re happiest when you’re by each other’s sides.
1. Date someone who pays attention to you. Someone who looks you in the eyes when you speak instead of down at his phone. Someone who messages you first and grabs your hand during dates. Someone who remembers the little things about you because he actually gives a damn.
2. Date someone who goes out of his way for you. Someone who is willing to drive you miles just to eat at your favorite restaurant. Someone who will spend hours searching for the perfect present for you instead of choosing the first thing he sees. Someone who reschedules his entire week if it means he will get to see you for an extra hour.
3. Date someone who commits to you. Someone who deletes his Tinder account after your first date. Someone who deletes exes from his contact list because he doesn’t need them as booty calls anymore. Someone who talks about you all of the time at work and with friends so there is no way anyone assumes he is single.
4. Date someone who encourages you to embrace who you really are inside. Someone who never mentions how you would look better with a different haircut or ten pounds lighter. Someone who tells you to wear what you are most comfortable wearing. Someone who likes you just the way you are and never pushes you to change.
5. Date someone who has fun when they are with you. Someone who laughs at your jokes, even when they are completely stupid. Someone who banters back and forth with you, even when you should have run out of things to say by now. Someone who can make you crack a smile, even when you are on the verge of breaking down in tears.
6. Date someone who takes care of you. Someone who will warm up soup for you when you have a cold. Someone who will clean up your messes when you’re drunk. Someone who will make sure you get home safe before falling asleep at night.
7. Date someone who handles conflict with maturity. Someone who lets you know when he is annoyed with you instead of bottling everything up inside. Someone who treats you with respect, even when he is struggling not to scream at you. Someone who is willing to make compromises when you can’t see eye-to-eye.
8. Date someone who is proud to be seen with you. Someone who introduces you to his parents, cousins, and grandparents. Someone who keeps a picture of you on his phone screen. Someone who rests a hand on your waist every time you leave the house, so that the world knows you are together.
9. Date someone who puts in constant effort. Someone who plans dates every once in a while so that you don’t have to lift a finger. Someone who knows how to cook and helps out with the cleaning. Someone who goes down on you so he isn’t the only one enjoying your sex life.
10. Date someone who is vulnerable in front of you. Someone who isn’t scared of his own feelings. Someone who is comfortable letting you watch him cry. Someone who never holds back around you, because he trusts you, because he feels safe around you.
11. Date someone who compliments you. Someone who makes you feel sexy, even when you are wearing jeans and a hoodie. Someone who looks at you like you are the most beautiful girl in any room. Someone who can’t keep his hands off of you.
12. Date someone who gets you excited about the future. Someone you are eager to live with. Someone you can’t wait to marry. Someone you are expecting to spend a lifetime alongside.
13. Date someone who loves you. Someone who feels as strongly about you as you feel about him. Someone who doesn’t want to live life without you. Someone who considers you his forever.
Stop settling for relationships where you’re running around nonstop, completing favors for them and trying to please them, while they’re doing absolutely nothing for you.
You deserve better than a partner who complains whenever you ask them for something but expects you to drop everything in order to help them out. You deserve better than a love that feels lopsided and conditional. In this year, you owe it to yourself to stop wasting your time with partners who are comfortable giving you the bare minimum because you are not ‘greedy’ for craving more.
You deserve a partner who sets aside quality time to spend with you. A partner who prioritizes your relationship, so you never have to question where you stand with them. A partner who goes above and beyond to make you happy, the same way you always do for them.
You deserve a partner who is actually present when they’re in the room with you. A partner who listens closely when you’re speaking instead of staring at their phone and giving you one-word answers while waiting for their turn to speak. Your partner should appreciate your mind as much as your body. They should be invested in your opinions, your thoughts, and your dreams.
You deserve a partner you can genuinely count on. A partner who is going to follow through on their promises, even if it inconveniences them, because they want you to trust them. More than that, they want to be there for you. They would never dream of leaving you hanging because they care about you as much as you care about them. They are willing and eager to give as much as they receive because, in their eyes, you deserve the world.
You deserve a partner who shows up whenever you’re hurting. A partner who helps you through the healing process, no matter how long and arduous it is, instead of expecting you to deal with your problems alone. You shouldn’t settle for someone who cuts and runs whenever times get hard, who only wants to stick around for the happy, fun times because that’s not what a real relationship entails. You deserve a partner who lets you sob on their shoulder, who pulls you closer when you’re upset instead of turning the other way.
You deserve a partner who supports your wildest dreams, even if it means spending less time with them. They want the best for you, regardless of what it means for them because they genuinely have your best interest at heart. They honestly want to see you thrive. They aren’t jealous of your successes. They aren’t intentionally trying to hold you back. Quite the contrary. They are helping you reach your full potential. They are in your corner, no matter what. They always have your back, no question about it.
Don’t settle for anyone who leaves you hanging because you deserve someone you can count on one thousand percent. Someone whose words match their actions every time. You don’t want to waste time with someone who talks a big talk in order to sweep you off your feet, then fails to follow through. You deserve someone who means every single word they say to you. Someone who you can trust wholeheartedly because they have never misled you or looked you in the eyes and lied. They are authentic. They are loyal. They are proving that you can count on them time and time again.
It’s rare for an actor to achieve mainstream prominence in the streaming age, especially when Netflix produces 500,000 new series every day. It’s hard to become a star when you’re competing with 500,000 other actors. That’s why Zendaya is so special. After she landed her first major role on Disney’s Shake it Up, her onscreen magnetism helped catapult her to the vanguard of Cool New Projects, ultimately winning her the prize gig of Rue on Euphoria. Everything else is now legend: A Marvel role, a Primetime Emmy, and assless sci-fi chaps.
While we’re waiting for Zendaya’s next hit, let’s look back at this icon’s 3 best and 3 worst movies.
The Best Zendaya MoviesDune: Part TwoWarner Bros.Come oooon. The press tour for this movie alone will be studied in history books for years to come. In fact, when aliens visit our deserted, desolate planet in 200 years, they’ll probably already be dressed in assless sci-fi chaps, farting into plexiglass. That said, Zendaya’s performance in this movie is also unforgettable: She holds her own against Timothée, Javier, et al, and makes me long to see more scenes of her rage-riding Shai-Huluds.
Spider-Man: Far From Home Sony PicturesZendaya’s role as MJ in the Spider-Man franchise didn’t just introduce her to her future Britboy, Tom Holland. It also helped make her into a household name. You can debate amongst yourselves whether or not Tom/Zendaya is a manufactured Hollywood romance, à la Bert and Ernie, but you cannot deny Zendaya’s rizz factor in these movies. Even as an introverted, borderline-depressive weirdo, she shines. I picked Far From Home because it’s the one where MJ comes out of her shell.
ChallengersWarner Bros.And our girl finally becomes a woman (sniff). All she needed to do was convince two straight guys to make out. Of course, she also showed her range and emotional intelligence in this movie, and proved that she can work with someone as formidable and brilliant as Luca Guadagnino (director of Call Me By Your Name). I can easily imagine her juggling roles like this alongside her tentpole Marvel and Dune outings. Expect an Oscar nomination in the near future.
The Worst Zendaya MoviesThe Greatest Showman20th Century FoxSave it. I’ve heard it all! (“But the music!” “But the underdog story!”) La la la, I’m not listening. This movie might have catchy tunes (I could watch Keala Settle sing “This is Me” every day until my death), but that doesn’t make up for its basic, undercooked plot. The characters in this movie are one-dimensional, and Zendaya spends the whole movie looking like she wants out of her contract.
FrenemiesDisney ChannelDisney Channel movies can be hit or miss, and this one was unfortunately the latter – despite containing a Zendaya. Starring opposite her former Shake It Up co-star, Bella Thorne, Zendaya tried her best to lift this 90-minute cliché from its rusty tracks, but instead the movie just crashed. Perhaps if it hadn’t diluted its focus by dividing its story into three disparate sections, it could have soared. Also, Bella Thorne is not about to win an acting award anytime soon.
Duck, Duck GooseNetflixI don’t know what this movie is, and that scares me. Rotten Tomatoes, upon which it has a 40% audience score, says that it is animated. It also says that it follows a goose who adopts two ducklings and then embarks on a “beautiful and dangerous journey.” Zendaya plays one of the ducklings. I refuse to look up more because I’m afraid of what I might find.
ENFPs are passion-driven ‘ideas’ people. They gain energy from interacting with the world around them, and become quickly excited over new possibilities. Though ENFPs loves being around people, they crave alone time much more than the average extrovert.
ENFPs search for a deeper meaning in just about everything, and use their much-coveted alone time to decide how their experiences fit in with their system of core values.
To be frank, it’s an exhausting personality to have. Here are a few struggles most ENFPs face.
1. Getting your energy from social interaction, but disliking superficial conversations. Yes, I want to go to a party tonight. But a party full of contemplative people who want to alternate between taking shots and discussing the meaning of life.
2. Being very socially conscious but also fiercely individualistic. This means always wanting to fit in with a group, but never wanting to compromise your personality to do so.
3. The constant tug-of-war between ‘YES, I WANT TO GO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW’ and ‘Wow, I need a lot of time to process these experiences, can I take a breather?’
4.Having a thousand great ideas that you never follow through on.
5. Regularly forgetting that your physical needs exist.
6. Getting into the perfect job/relationship/groove and hearing that nagging voice in the back of your mind going “But maybe there’s something even BETTER out there…”
7. Constantly contradicting yourself because you genuinely see multiple sides to most situations.
8. Everyone thinking you’re flirting with them, all of the time.
9. Being a HUGE, UNSTOPPABLE FORCE of creativity and productivity… an hour before the deadline.
10. Getting bored 500 times faster than the average human being.
11. Constantly biting off more than you can chew… and then chewing it out of stubbornness.
12. Stressing out friends and acquaintances who don’t like straying from the original plan.
13. Working towards a constantly altering notion of your “ideal self.”
14. When you have to complete a task that you simply cannot find a way to make fun.
15. Begrudgingly identifying Peter Pan as your spirit animal.
16. People underestimating your intelligence because you lead with the fun, upbeat parts of your personality.
17. Needing significantly more alone time than other extraverts.
18. Others being surprised that you hold such strong opinions and beliefs, despite your easy-going nature.
19. Trying to explain to the people closest to you that yes you love pretty much everyone, but you love them the MOST.
20. People thinking you’re looking for advice when you simply need to process things out loud.
21. Staying in bad relationships because you focus on how things COULD be rather than how they are.
22. Wanting to be alone… but like, with other people nearby.
23. Appearing shallow because of your tendency to flit from topic to topic in conversation, with lightening speed.
24. Having a fiercely independent streak… but getting bored without company.
25. Being a walking contradiction in almost every way, but knowing that you wouldn’t change a thing, even if you could.
INTPYou listen to their facts. INTPs love learning and their love language is basically sharing their vast knowledge with others. However, most people allow their facts to sail right past them, so actually paying attention to how Macedonia’s socioeconomic landscape effects the rest of the world will earn the INTP’s undying devotion.
ENFPYou send them sappy “good morning” texts every day. ENFPs love everything about romance, so enchanting them is all about expressing your love for them on a daily basis. ENFPs can easily get discouraged in a relationship if the other person treats them-and by extension their relationship-for granted.
ISFPYou get actually excited about the things they do. ISFPs love it when people get genuinely excited about the same things they do. Whether its snow or their favorite coffee shop, ISFPs express their joy authentically and can tell when other people are dismissive of them and their delight for the little things.
ESTJYou do the things they want you to. ESTJs often express their care for their romantic partner by sharing the things they love with them. So if an ESTJ insists you’ve got to try a certain restaurant, and you do it instead of balking, they will love you all the more for showing you trust and believe in them.
ESFJYou spend time doing nothing with them. ESFJ’ are big believers in time spent, so they don’t have love for people who “ghost” them or play games. A perfect date for an ESFJ is a low-key movie marathon weekend where you guys just chill out and debate the merits of each movie long into the night.
INFJYou let them know you love them just the way they are. INFJs often feel like they can never be enough, leading to them to stress themselves out and become depressed. Letting an INFJ know that they are perfect to you and that you love them unconditionally will make them feel like you are a refuge for their sensitive soul to rest and heal.
ENTPYou don’t trivialize them or the things that they love. ENTPs only weakness is that they hold themselves and whatever is important to them up on a pedestal. This can be especially hard if you are important to them as they won’t stand for you to be mean to yourself as much as if it were someone else being a jerk to you.
ISTJYou do ordinary things for them. Whether it’s packing their lunch for work, helping them organize their garage, or just grabbing them the television remote ISTJs see extraordinary in the ordinary. That’s not to say that they don’t enjoy larger actions, it’s just that they judge their partners in the day-to-day monotony rather than on a series of large gestures.
ESTPYou let them be free. ESTPs are an outgoing, live-on-the-edge type and can often feel trapped if their partner is caught up in the day-to-day minutia of a relationship. By allowing them to sweep you off your feet and do something new or exciting together it lets the ESTP feel like they can keep their sense of self even in a long-term relationship.
ISTPYou don’t force them into a mold. ISTPs often have a counter-culture edge to them, and this can create friction with a partner if you have a perfected image of what a relationship should be. An ISTP will often have great appreciation for you if you view them and the relationship realistically instead of “sugar-coating” things or ignoring issues.
ESFPYou allow them to have space. ESFPs are independent, popular, and often have a large circle of friends. Because of this, you should never make them feel like they have to choose between their life and you as a romantic partner but if you can instead let them feel like they can “have it all” they will love you all the more.
INTJYou know how to be both fun and decisive. INTJs can be taskmasters but this doesn’t they don’t want to have fun. For all their planning, they love when their partner can roll with the punches and have a good time no matter what goes wrong, while still maintaining their sense of self.
ISFJYou are steadfast. ISFJs are dependable and loyal to both the people they love as well as the things they believe in. They can’t be dependable for two however, and look for a steady partner to travel through life with. This is not to say that they don’t like a little excitement, they just want to know that you’ll always be there for them.
INFPYou are spontaneous. INFPs can often get in the rut of looking for something amazing to happen, and if you can show them an amazing time they will love you all the more for it. It doesn’t have to be huge; in fact it can even be as small as randomly getting ice cream for dinner, but proving that you can think outside the box and dream big will go a long way to winning their heart.
ENTJYou take them out of their comfort zone. ENTJs are great at accomplishing tasks they have set out for themselves, however it is sometimes difficult for them to remember to let loose and have fun, even if it doesn’t accomplish anything. Taking an ENTJ somewhere they’ve never been and letting them forget their endless checklist for a little while will make them look at you like you hang the moon when they think you’re not looking.
ENFJYou are true to yourself. ENFJs are clever yet personable, however they sometimes can feel like they need to bend to other’s wills to make sure everyone is happy. By being true to yourself, and not allowing yourself to be swayed by other people, an ENFJ will find you to be the kind of person that they need to allow themselves to stand up for things they believe in the way they want to.
Fate bringing two people together is a nice thought, but it’s not the truth. At least, I don’t want to believe that it is. I want to believe that we’re the reason why our relationship has lasted so long. That your ridiculous puns are the reason why I laugh even when I want to cry, and that my daily “I love yous” are the reason why you hug me so tightly and kiss me so tenderly.
I’m not going to give the universe credit for our hard work. That was all us. The compromises we made after major fights, the inside jokes we created after becoming best friends, and the decision we made to commit after realizing we wanted to be together forever. It wasn’t fate. It was hard work and determination and—most of all—love.
I don’t know, maybe it was destiny that caused us to meet. That you and I crossed paths in a world overflowing with other people to pursue. But our relationship would never have lasted this long without our full and complete commitment. So even if it was fate that brought us together, it wasn’t fate that made us stay together. That was us.
Some people say that the idea of soul mates is romantic, that it’s reassuring to know there’s someone out there built for loving them, but I don’t see it. Isn’t free will, finding someone that you decide to care for and love and trust, better than being karmically forced to date someone? Isn’t our love story the more romantic one, because it’s what we want as opposed to what the universe thinks is best for us?
Say what you want, but we’re in control of our lives. That shouldn’t be a terrifying thought. We shouldn’t want destiny to control our relationships so we can sit back, relax, and blame the fates whenever something goes wrong with our love lives. It’s time to start taking responsibility when things go south and start patting ourselves on the back when things go right.
I don’t believe that we’re meant to stay together forever, because of the way the stars aligned or because some godly creature commanded it. But I do think we can last a lifetime if we continue to love each other the way we have been, without judgment or restraint. That’s what will keep our relationships strong. Not fate.
Us.
Opening up about your HIV status can be a profoundly empowering act. In this video, HIV advocate Thando Cindi shares her experience growing up with the virus and being advised by her family to keep her status to herself.
But in finally opening up publicly about her status, she’s been able to break down the stigma, educate others, and build a supportive network. In her advocacy work, she aims to foster an environment of understanding and acceptance, allowing those living with HIV to share their stories and connect with others who may have similar experiences. Her goal is to enhance the mental and emotional well-being of HIV patients by reducing their burden of secrecy and shame.
After nearly 40 years, you’d think we’d know everything there is to know about John Hughes’ classic detention movie, The Breakfast Club. The plot seems so simple. Taking place during just one day, it follows five very different high school students as they suffer through a day of Saturday detention. They fight, they get high together, they talk about their trauma, and they leave as close friends.
Simple right? I thought so too until I recently re-watched the Brat Pack classic almost 40 years after it first came out. And I noticed something DARK that I never saw before. Stay with me, because I have a creepy theory about Claire, played by Molly Ringwald, that might change the way you think about The Breakfast Club.
Claire has a very creepy dad.Universal PicturesMy theory starts at the very beginning of my re-watch. The movie begins with the teens being dropped off at their high school, Shermer High, on Saturday morning. We start with Claire (Molly Ringwald), dropped off by her dad. Watching as an adult in 2024, I couldn’t help but notice how creepy her dad was. The way he gazed at her, especially down at her chest. The way he turned his full body toward her, boxing her in. The way his voice was too sugary sweet. It made me uncomfortable in that gut instinct kind of way you can’t quite explain to someone who doesn’t get it.
Claire is the only one not to share her trauma. Why?Universal PicturesToward the end of the movie, after the kids have fought with each other, gotten high, and bonded, they start to open up about why they’re in detention and what drove them to do what they did. We hear some tough stuff about being a compulsive liar, pressure to be someone you’re not, and even self-harm. When it’s Claire’s turn, she’s silent. Bender (Judd Nelson) antagonizes her in a way that brings up her relationship with her father:
Bender: God! You’re so pathetic. Don’t you ever, ever compare yourself to me, okay. You got everything, and I got shit. Fuckin’ Rapunzel, right? School would probably fuckin’ shut down if you didn’t show up. Queenie isn’t here. I like those earrings, Claire.
Claire: Shut up.
Bender: Are those real diamonds Claire?
Claire: Shut up.
Bender: I bet they are. Did you work for the money for those earrings?
Claire: Shut your mouth.
Bender: Or did your daddy buy those for you?
Claire is the most emotional and upset of the whole movie by the end of this exchange. But why? And why doesn’t she open up about it like everyone else? Clearly something’s going on with her dad. Maybe she’s more like Bender than he realizes? And we can go back to an earlier scene for some answers.
Toward the beginning of the movie, the kids are having lunch and Bender decides to act out what it’s like in his household, the one-man-show culminating in an allusion to his father hitting him. When he’s done, the first reaction is Andy (Emilio Estevez) saying that Bender must be lying. Bender shows proof of a cigar burn on his arm, but it’s too late. Andy didn’t believe him, and the mood turns dark.
Universal PicturesSo, if Claire has a similar experience at home with an abusive father, she would worry that no one would believe her if she said anything, hence her later silence. If her dad was sexually abusive, which is my theory here, she’d be too afraid to say anything even after everyone else has been so open. Why would anyone believe her? They didn’t believe Bender. And perhaps she’s the most upset about the comment about her diamond earrings because Bender is right: They’re a twisted, creepily romantic gift from her abuser: Her father.
John Bender as the ultimate protector.After the emotional standoff about her earrings, the teens get lighthearted again, dancing around the Shermer High library before taking their original positions: Everyone at their tables aside from Bender as he heads back to the closet he’s supposed to be locked inside. Soon after, Claire joins him and they share a kiss. He suggests that he’d be a good person for her to be with if she wants to stick it to her parents, and that’s exactly what happens next.
Saturday detention ends and everything has changed. Andy is with Allison (Ally Sheedy), Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) has a bunch of cool new friends, and Claire and Bender walk out hand-in-hand. As they say goodbye, Claire takes out one of her diamond earrings and hands it to Bender. They lean up against the hood of a car and share a passionate kiss.
Universal PicturesIt’s only after the makeout session and Claire gets into the car that you realize she’d been kissing the town bad boy against her parents’ car while they watched. And, since he’s the one who dropped her off, it’s highly likely that it was her dad watching the exchange. How much do you want to bet that Claire orchestrated this display as a warning to her creep of a father that she’s with Bender now? Her dad now knows that Bender has one of her fabled diamond earrings, and he’d do anything to protect her if a certain someone got out of line.
Watch this TikTok for example clips.If you’re still on the fence about my dark The Breakfast Club fan theory–that Claire is hiding the secret that she’s being abused by her father and that she’s dating Bender in part for his protection–I delve into it with examples of scenes from the movie in this TikTok:
@trishainfinity did I just discover a dark subplot in The Breakfast Club? #thebreakfastclub #fantheory #filmtheory #fypage #johnhughes #bratpack
♬ original sound – Trisha Bartle
What do you think? Is this theory a stretch? You can sound off in the comments of the TikTok. And if you’re still not convince, you can watch The Breakfast Club on Netflix.
It’s been 25 years since American Pie came out and on a rewatch, the sexist humor can be off-putting. However, it’s hard to set aside the fact that American Pie influenced a generation, and more specifically, the millennial generation. But it also influenced several movies that would continue to shape us — Superbad, EuroTrip, and later, Blockers — with the classic “lose our virginity before graduating” pact plot.
This sort of ethos has reverberated throughout our adolescence and now, 25 years later, there are still plenty of takeaways from American Pie. It may not have been a G-Rated classic, but it’s definitely at the top of the list of cultural touchstones. So even if the jokes don’t always hold up, these seven lessons definitely do.
Find love by following your heart.He starts off as an insincere jerky jock, but Oz quickly changes his ways after he joins the school choir. Because he does it under the guise of the virginity pact, his friends don’t mock him as much as they might otherwise. But in the end, he realizes he actually loves singing, choosing to support the choir over his lacrosse team and by doing so, he finds love with Heather along the way. Oz still achieves “the pact,” but because he learns how to be sensitive and honest with himself, he decides to keep that intimate detail from his friends.
Lock your bedroom door.Some lessons are meaningful and others are simply practical. The opening scene of American Pie (and its sequels) remind us that anyone can just waltz into our rooms at any time. Lock your bathroom doors and lock your bedroom door when you need some private time, especially if you’re staying with your parents! Hopefully they lock their doors too — there are some things that none of us want to see.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”Everyone thinks of Alyson Hannigan’s Michelle as a total dweeb throughout the film. The “band geeks” are painted as virginal weirdos, but as it turns out, they’re just weirdos! In fact, they’re lovable weirdos. Our four main guys are so obsessed with finding the “hottest” girls that they forget to look right in front of them at the sweet, silly, intelligent women who are just as interested in sex. By the end of the franchise, Jason Biggs’s Jim falls for Michelle, wishing he didn’t waste his time in high school obsessing over the popular and stereotypically “hot” women.
Women come first.Thomas Ian Nicholas’s Kevin learns that sex isn’t all about him. He began the movie as the only guy with a girlfriend, Vicky (Tara Reid), but by the end of the film, they decide to break up after losing their virginities to one another. Kevin is so blinded by the ultimate goal of sex that he forgets what sex is all about — intimacy, love, and pleasure for both people. When he reads the “Book of Love,” he learns how to make sure his partner is also enjoying herself, something that’s still relevant and practical today.
Setting goals with accountability buddies can be helpful.Funnily enough, all the men achieve the goal of losing their virginities before they finish high school, just not how they thought it would happen. Even still, setting a goal and holding each other accountable definitely helped push them over the finish line. We can apply this to all areas of life: dating, career, health, finances, and more. Aim to save $5000 by the end of the year, make a plan, and you might surprise yourself!
When our parents are awkward, it’s because they care.There’s no one more endearing than Eugene Levy’s father figure in American Pie. He ends up in the most uncomfortable situations, and as we get older, we can empathize with him more and more. But he tries, and that’s evident. Not everyone has the best parents in the world, but perhaps we should extend a little grace to them in awkward situations because at the end of the day, they just want us to be happy and healthy. And when we have kids of our own, let’s remember not to make them feel uncomfortable, perhaps by being sex-positive their entire lives so that there’s no shame around it.
Beauty and pain are not mutually exclusive—multiple things can be true.American Pie is all about sex, which can be both a beautiful and painful experience. This extends throughout the rest of the movie, particularly when Jim’s dad tells him, “I want you to be very, very careful when you’re putting on the corsage.” While this may have been a discreet euphemism for sex (a beautiful flower with a prickly pin), it’s also an example of how experiencing sexual firsts can also be mortifying, as well as physically and emotionally painful. This, of course, extends into other areas of life.
A promotion and a raise may seem beautiful on the surface, but could pull attention away from family and friends, causing pain. In American Pie, even Stifler holds both beauty and pain as a friend. He embarasses and gets back at Finch, causing Finch pain, but he’s also a friend who invites the guys to the party where they all lose their virginities. American Pie may seem like a simple teen romp on the surface, but deep down, it’s full of sincerity, ingenuity, and vulnerability. Just like how things can be beautiful and painful, multiple things can be true. American Pie is the epitome of its own greatest lesson.
ESTJNo one can stand up to you. ESTJs a force of nature and they want a partner who can handle that (and sometimes tell them no). It’s not that they feel that they have impossibly high standards; it’s just that most romantic partners are intimidated by their no-holds-barred approach to life and relationships.
INFPYou feel trapped too easily. INFPs love their freedom; to them it defines who they are, so the thought of “date night” makes them want to scream. You do you; eventually someone will come along who makes you feel enthusiastic and not at all claustrophobic.
ESTPYou like relationships, but only on your terms. Usually those terms turn ESTPs relationships into a terrifying rollercoaster for most potential partners. A lot of the time they can get stuck in a rut, despite their love of risk-taking. For those ESTPs frustrated by their romantic options perhaps they should try applying their “living on the edge” philosophy to their search for potential partners.
INTJYou rely too much on people “coming to you”. INTJ’s are naturally a bit shy, and when this is combined with their difficulty reading people’s motivations you can get into a tricky relationship with the wrong person very easily. Forcing yourself to pursue potential partners instead of hoping they’ll just gravitate to you is the best way to break this habit.
ISTJYou don’t like change. ISTJs often have a hard time getting over previous partners, and this can make them seek out that person long after they’re gone. This can lead to the ISTJ searching for someone similar to their last partner instead of someone who might be different, but will make them happy.
ENFJYou “pick out” people to date. The opposite of the INTJ’s problem, the ENFJ often uses their charisma and charms to influence someone into liking them. Once they have converted this person to their side, they will become fiercely loyal, even if the person isn’t worthy of their loyalty.
ISTPYou take forever to get into relationships. A fear of commitment common among ISTPs often keeps them on the fence about relationships for ages while they keep the other person in limbo. This can cause some types to become disillusioned with the relationship, while others may appreciate the space. Still, ISTPs benefit greatly if they work on learning to make emotional decisions more efficiently.
INTPYou “didn’t know what you had ‘til it was gone”. INTPs are often lost in their own minds, and don’t realize what their significant other added to their life until that person gave up trying to reach them. Often INTP’s must focus on learning to pay attention to the other person, even when they would rather be lost in their own mind.
INFJYou chase perfection. INFJs are often perfectionists, and this extends to their relationships. Unfortunately, this can get in the way of focusing on true happiness in relationships, leaving the INFJ attempting to find a problem to fix where there is none. Persistent INFJs will repeat this behavior until they create a problem to solve.
ESFJYou rely too much on a partner. While it’s true that your partner should make you happy, ESFJs often make their partner their sole supplier of happiness. This falls apart once the other person inevitably can’t (or won’t) do that anymore, leaving the ESFJ without an emotional connection. For unhealthy ESFJs without a strong support network, this leads to seeking out another relationship immediately regardless of true interest in the other person.
ISFPYour emotions get the best of you. ISFPs are often painted as emotional artists, and while it’s a bit of a characterization, there are some elements that ring true. Mainly that ISFPs often struggle with feeling appreciated and loved, and can often boomerang between wanting love from their partner, and worrying that they are bothering their partner with their wants.
ENTJYou are too sensitive. While many people may not see past the ENTJ’s tough exterior, underneath they often care too much about hurting other people’s feelings. This can lead them to not engaging with potential partners at all, because it makes them fear for the possible breakup.
ENFPYou idealize relationships. When ENFPs feel lost, they often turn to this unachievable ideal of the perfect relationship. This means that none of their real-life relationships can ever truly match up to this ideal, leaving them oftentimes disappointed.
ISFJYou fall into love too quickly. While some types (like the ISTP) might take years to recognize that they are in love, the ISFJ may take little more than a few hours. This leaves them much more invested in the relationship right off the bat, potentially alienating their prospective romantic interest.
ESFPYou get bored easily. ESFPs know how to bring the party, but this can lead to disappointment in types with less energy. Oftentimes this leads to the ESFP jumping from partner to partner looking for that “spark”.
ENTPYou don’t express your appreciation. ENTPs often feel that their partner should intuitively know that the ENTP appreciates them, not recognizing that this is not typically the case. Ironically, ENTPs are one of the personality types that loves appreciation the most, leading to a “one way street” in many of their relationships.
Although the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator test has come under scrutiny over the years, psychologists who have actually looked more critically into the criticism conclude that it is not any less reliable or valid than any other personality test. The rarest personality type is INFJ (standing for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging) and is estimated to make up 1-2% of the population. Here are five signs you’re an INFJ, the rarest and most dangerous personality type.
You stand up for what is right — not necessarily what is popular.INFJs are often known as the popular loners or the extroverted introverts. That is because they exude a warm, empathic, and personable presence that draws others to them. However, they tend to keep to themselves because not only do they need time to recharge on their own, they have a strong sense of integrity that often doesn’t always mesh well with the popular opinions of society. They’re not afraid to stand on their own if it means standing up for what is fair, just, and right, and they will call people out no matter who they are. Sometimes their pursuit of justice can lead them to stage revolutions that leads to profound societal change or, if an unhealthy INFJ gets too obsessed with their high moral standards, dangerous waters that get them into trouble.
Many underestimate you, including narcissistic people who gravitate toward you. No one ever sees you coming, and you’re a master of slow-burn “revenge.”INFJs tend to be natural targets for manipulators and narcissists who appear to present them an ideal relationship with a hidden agenda. Due to their more outwardly reserved yet idealistic and demure nature, people tend to underestimate INFJs as innocent sweet lambs who would never retaliate or take an eye for an eye. But this is to their detriment, and a smart narcissist knows from experience to steer clear of this personality type even though they love to target them for potential manipulation (until they learn better, that is). An INFJ often plots strategically behind the scenes on how to regain their strength after a seeming downfall. They will always get you back, no matter how much you think they’ve forgotten, making for a slow burn revenge for the ages because they’re in it for the long haul. It would be best not to cross them in the first place. Yet most of the time, their revenge tends to be productive, not destructive. The INFJ is the definition of the phrase, “success is the best revenge.” They are usually the ones who have the biggest comeback after a seemingly insurmountable setback. They will glow up the hardest, becoming the richest, most beautiful, most successful version of themselves to put their enemies and naysayers to shame. This is what makes them particularly dangerous to con artists and predators who seek to prey on them.
You always shoot for the ideal, and get disappointed when others fall short of your expectations.INFJs are always in pursuit of the perfect relationship, the dream job or career, or the most thriving lifestyle. They have romantic and idealistic notions of what their life could be. These high standards can make them master manifesters of abundance, but it can also make them overly perfectionistic and goal-oriented, at times too fixated on achieving an ideal rather than taking care of themselves. It also makes them susceptible to love-bombing by manipulators as they can mistake such tactics as finally finding “the one.” They must learn to balance their ambition with self-care, and ensure they don’t wear rose-colored glasses when looking at red flag relationships they deeply want to be the ideal.
You are multifaceted to a bizarre degree and are the jack of all trades.An INFJ’s dangerous unpredictability also stems from the fact that there is rarely anything they can’t do or learn. They tend to pick up on different skills, hobbies, interests, and facets of knowledge with exquisite quickness, developing an expertise in many different realms and exhibiting talents across the board in many diverse fields. They are the scientific artists, the intellectual party animals, the scholarly comedians of the Myers-Briggs world — a hybrid of many contradictory characteristics. People who try to pigeon-hole an INFJ will be alarmed to learn that they cannot box this person into one label. You cannot predict what they will do next or what they are truly capable of. Their ingenuity, creativity, and spontaneity can make them particularly infuriating to manipulators who think they know what their next move will be.
You are a whistleblower.The reason INFJs are so dangerous is that they are often the whistleblowers who unmask the false personas of corrupt people and institutions because they intuitively understand the complexities of every situation. They are not afraid to blow the whistle on those who exploit others. Intuitive and discerning, the INFJ can see through the veil and viscerally understand the motives of toxic people and wolves in sheep’s clothing. That is one of the reasons they keep to themselves so often — they see who people really are, not who they pretend to be. The problem is, INFJs are so often emotionally invalidated and gaslit by others from a young age that they start to detach from the strong intuition that alerts them to the red flags of toxic people, so they gaslight themselves in an attempt to fit in. For an INFJ to own their true power, they must learn to trust themselves. Their heightened intuition is a gift and they must use it wisely and to their advantage. The truth is, their power and skill sets can lead to the destruction of toxic systems and the rebuilding of a new world. They just don’t know it yet.
We’re all looking for that one guy who will call us beautiful, kiss our foreheads, and treat us the way we deserve. But what if we finally find him and he’s not what we thought he’d be? What if it turns out that we don’t want him at all? This is what it’s like to be in a shitty relationship with a really good guy.
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You feel like you’re being greedy.You have a sweet boyfriend who asks you about your day, helps you with the dishes, and actually goes down on you. What more could you want? Admitting you need someone a little more exciting, who gets your heart thumping and your blood pumping, makes you sound unappreciative. That’s why you’ll try to act like everything is fine for as long as you can pull the act off.
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Your friends don’t see the problem.Your single friends have been dealing with nothing but fuckboys. They would kill to have a boyfriend like yours. If you try to rant about him, they won’t listen to a word of it. They don’t think you should be complaining when you’re so “lucky.”
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You come across as a complete asshole.He tries so hard to make you happy, and when he realizes that you’re still acting distant, he tries even harder. He’s pulled off more romantic moves than any other man would. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter what he does. The spark just isn’t there.
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You wonder if you’re the problem.You’ve always wanted a boyfriend who tells the truth and answers your texts without making you wait. Now you have one, but you still aren’t satisfied. You feel like you’re sabotaging your own chances at happiness. You can’t bring yourself to love him, and you hate yourself for it.
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Your life looks better on Instagram.On the surface, you have plenty to brag about. That’s why your Instagram is filled with pictures of romantic dinners he’s cooked and thoughtful gifts he’s bought you. Everyone considers you two “relationship goals,” but really, you couldn’t be more eager to be single again.
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You end up hurting yourself, too.You can’t think of a good enough reason to break up with him, so you end up torturing yourself by staying with him. Of course, that only makes him grow more and more attached to you. The longer you stay with him, the worse you’ll feel about your charade.
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You wish you could alter your feelings,You’ve spent most of your life wishing you could get rid of your feelings for certain men, but now you have the opposite problem. You wish you could magically develop feelings for him, but you just can’t. You’re not attracted to his mind or his body, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
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You question everything about love.You don’t love him, but maybe that doesn’t matter? Maybe love isn’t as important as mutual respect and admiration. You ask yourself silly questions like this all the time, because you want to convince yourself that it’s okay to be in a loveless relationship.
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You genuinely want to keep him as a friend.You’re planning on breaking an amazing man’s heart, and when he asks you why, you’re not sure what you’ll tell him. He’ll think the “Let’s just be friends” line is a lie, but it’s the truth. You don’t want him out of your life. You just want him out of your bed.
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You know you don’t belong with him.You’ve been fighting the truth, but deep down you know you need to say goodbye to him soon. Your future boyfriend might not be as perfect as he is, but at least you’ll be happy together. You’d take a passionate romance over a bland boyfriend any day.
Here are the top three times Carrie and Big were the actual worst together in Sex and the City.
3. Big refusing to introduce Carrie to his mom (red flag) and then Carrie trying to force an introduction anyway (weird, stalker behavior).When Big and Carrie first got together in the first season of Sex and the City, she discovers her new man attends church with his mother every Sunday. Carrie then expresses interest in going so she can finally meet his mom. However, Big pushes back and says no.
Of course, this is a major red flag because Big’s reluctance makes it abundantly clear he doesn’t take his relationship with Carrie seriously. Does this bother Carrie? Absolutely! HOWEVER, Carrie views Big’s indifference as a challenge rather than a sign to let go. So, what does our unhinged sex columnist do in response? Take the hint? Respect herself enough to walk away? Oh no, no, no.
Instead, Carrie drags Miranda with her to the Sunday service to get a look Big’s mom. One, this is weird, stalker behavior. Ever heard of boundaries, Carrie? Maybe self-preservation? Cognitive behavioral therapy perhaps? Anyway, two, Carrie isn’t exactly what you could call “subtle” in the balcony pews. Rather, she drops a bible to the floor below with a loud thud, causing everyone below to turn around and look up at her (including Big and his mother).
Yikes. AND IF THAT WASN’T BAD ENOUGH, DON’T YOU WORRY, THERE IS MORE.
After mass ends, Carrie waits outside the church to say hi to Big and his mother, claiming it would be “rude” to simply save face and leave. When Big comes over, he introduces Carrie as “his friend’ to his mom. In response, Big’s mother stares back blankly, clearly not registering who the hell Carrie could possibly be. In denial, Carrie repeats her name a couple of times, trying to jog Big’s mom’s memory. No dice, because Big clearly never told his mom he was dating Carrie at all.
2. Big getting engaged to Natasha shortly after breaking up with Carrie.Carrie and Big parted ways at the end of the first season. Several episodes into the second season, Carrie runs into her very recent ex at a party in the Hamptons. There, she meets Natasha, the new, younger woman he is already dating. Oh, plot twist, they’re actually engaged, which Big confesses to Carrie later on. Ouch.
1. Carrie cheating on Aidan with Big (while Big is still married to Natasha).Number one has to be when Carrie cheats on Aidan with Big while Big is still married to Natasha. The two have a full-fledged affair with little regard to how their infidelity impacts their respective partners. Aidan was SO damn nice to Carrie, too, I’m still mad. Anyway! Aidan deserved better. And maybe Carrie and Big really deserve each other after all, considering they are both equally terrible!
Today I woke up to the distressing news that the email inbox of Bridgerton casting director Kelly Valentine Hendry is 90% full of NSFW videos. Before today, I didn’t even know who Kelly Valentine Hendry was; and yet, now I know both her name and her horrific everyday reality (deleting sex tapes between fistfuls of Cheerios, I imagine). In an episode of the podcast Should I Delete That?, she intimated that hopeful actors have been sending her NFSW “audition tapes” in order to score a role on Bridgerton. “I get the most unbelievable videos, unsolicited,” she said. “It’s sex, basically. Not actual sex, but it’s quite punchy the stuff that comes through to me. Not nudie pictures, but not far off. It’s sad really.”
Last time I checked, Bridgerton is not just hardcore porn scored to a string quartet version of “thank u, next!” Yes, the show’s sex gathers the children and reveals a more bodacious side of Regency England, but Bridgerton actors also have to emote. When they’re not completing acts of pressing-digitation, they have to believably utter things like “I burn for you, Colin,” and “This is discrimination; student discounts should apply to former students, too.” Sorry, the second thing is just something I said today which I’m still angry about.
My point is: Don’t send unsolicited NSFW tapes to casting directors, Internet! It’s harassment. Also, here are four other sex-filled shows that you can watch to burn off some steam.
EliteNetflixIf you haven’t heard of this demented guilty pleasure, then get your life together! The final season is about to drop, bringing an end to this queertabulous teen makeout fest. While the show arguably jumped the shark after Season 1, it still remains the most hilariously ludicrous celebration of young rich Spaniards on television. Closeted bisexual soccer player dating the same guy as his son? Check! Sex-positive YouTuber showing up to math class in a bra and starting fights? Check! A climactic weeknight party at the end of every episode that features a hired DJ and cutting-edge sound system, despite being on a Tuesday and for high schoolers? You bet! Anyway, the show has heaps of sex, in every variety and combination that you can imagine. Watch Elite on Netflix.
True BloodHBOMy Roman Empire is that scene from True Blood where Alexander Skarsgard makes out with a guy named Talbot, turns him over, and pokes him from behind with a giant … wooden stake, thus murdering him, since he is a vampire. While it’s certainly not the most gory or shocking scene from True Blood, it may be the most memorable one involving sex. However, there are plenty of other sweat-drenched scenes in this show that run the gamut from sweet to carnal. There’s even a citywide orgy administered by a mystical taloned hypnotist. It’s iconic. Watch True Blood on Hulu and Max.
Orange is the New BlackNetflixThis show opens with a shot of Taylor Schilling and Laura Prepon making out topless in a shower, and doesn’t slow down from there. This is a show set in a prison, after all. Of course, the focus is on the characters and their various tragedies and adventures, but the sex keeps things moving. At one point, Natasha Leggero will make you question your sexuality – and that’s including if you’re already into women. Her 24 karat rizz will inspire you to up your game and hit on the next 200 people you see. Watch Orange is the New Black on Netflix.
The House of FlowersNetflixYes, I’m including two Spanish-language series in this short list, because the Mexican telenovela The House of Flowers is full of jaw-dropping sex and deserves a mention! Of course, it’s also hilarious and touching and raw and surreal, as telenovelas are wont to be, but sex is very much part of this show’s DNA. At weddings, at funerals, in bathrooms, at crime scenes … The characters stop at nothing to get caliente with each other. Oh, and I should mention that there’s plenty of queer representation, ensuring that every color of the rainbow is represented. And maybe I should also mention the absolute daddy of the show, Juan Pablo Medina, who is high key serving Gay George Clooney the house down boots. Watch The House of Flowers on Netflix.
The bare minimum man is the type of guy who doesn’t exhibit outwardly “bad” behavior that calls for a breakup such as cheating. But he also doesn’t treat you in a way that makes you feel necessarily loved or cared for.
Because the bare minimum man doesn’t initiate, he responds. He shows up but never on time. He hears you but doesn’t listen to what you’re saying. He apologizes, but only when you ask him to. He’s romantic occasionally but just when it benefits him in some way.
When you try and ask the bare minimum man for more, trust that he always has an explanation:
“Work is crazy busy, sorry. It will slow down eventually, promise.”
“I got really hurt by my sophomore year of college girlfriend seven years ago and need time to learn to trust again before I fully open up to you.”
Usually, his excuses will depend on the concept of one day because “one day” absolves him of any responsibility in the present. He blames situational factors that are seemingly out of his control so you don’t blame him for his lack of investment and not the fact he’s simply unwilling to put in the effort necessary to keep the relationship going.
Of course, this leaves maintaining the relationship all on you until he’s “ready.” And you know what? That’s bullshit. You deserve more than that.
You deserve someone who is all in. You deserve someone who is able to meet you on your level. You deserve to be with someone who you can grow with. You deserve someone who is proud of you and proud to be with you. You deserve someone who inspires you, who nurtures you, who looks at you as a partner. You deserve someone who plans dates and experiences, who works through disagreements with tenderness and with the shared goal of resolution.
You don’t deserve those things one day. You deserve them right now.
Because the difficult truth is this: A man who starts off giving you the bare minimum will never change. You will spend your whole life begging for the basics and it will be exhausting.
So please, let go of the bare minimum man. And if he asks you to stay (which he probably will) trust your decision. Stand your ground. After all, why did it take losing you for him to realize what he had?
You deserve someone who saw your worth all along.
In celebration of Video Game Day, here are the best video game movies of all time.
July 8 marks an important date for pop culture: National Video Game Day! Not only have video games delighted gamers on consoles, PC, and in arcades for decades now, but they have also crossed the great divide and lit up the silver screen. Sure, in years gone by, video game adaptations were guaranteed to be bleach for the eyes, but a lot has changed since the glory days of Uwe Boll’s disasterpieces. In fact, they’re pretty… pretty good, to quote one Larry David.
So, with all the formalities out of the way, relax that athlete’s thumb for a few hours and indulge in six perfect movies for fans to enjoy on Video Game Day.
Mortal Kombat (1995)New Line CinemaIn 1995, director Paul W.S. Anderson proved why he’s the best Paul Anderson in film by bringing the fighting video game Mortal Kombat to the big screen. First off, who can ever forget the heart-pumping techno-syndrome theme song that fires up this random tournament between the heroes of Earthrealm and the forces of Outworld? It is cinema’s flawless equivalent of “Stairway to Heaven.” Apart from that, the martial arts choreography roundhouse kicks the audience into a frenzy, as fights between Liu Kang and Reptile and Johnny Cage and Scorpion feel ripped straight out of the game. Plus, Christopher Lambert as Lord Rayden is god-tier casting that should never work but does, as he delivers generation-defining one-liners, such as: “The essence of Mortal Kombat is not about death, but life. Mortal men and women defending your own world.” Watch Mortal Kombat on Amazon Video.
Doom (2005)Universal PicturesWhat is the video game Doom about, anyway? It’s difficult to describe, since it’s all about a character known as Doomguy roaming around in space and blasting the stuffing out of ugly alien monsters. Andrzej Bartkowiak’s 2005 Doom adaptation might not be Shakespeare, but it turns out to be a neat Aliens ripoff where Karl Urban’s Reaper takes center stage and finds himself on a crash course with Dwayne Johnson’s Sarge. There’s no real plot here – which is canonical if fans think about it – but who cares since this is the most fun anyone can have without having to use their brain. More importantly, watching Reaper’s first-person action scene that’s the pitch-perfect homage to the video game series is worth the rental price alone. It’s fraggin’ awesome! Watch Doom on Amazon Video.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)Paramount PicturesJeff Fowler’s Sonic the Hedgehog didn’t have the smoothest starts. When fans saw the live-action version of Sonic, they freaked out and raced to social media to complain about their ruined childhood and nightmare fuel. Fortunately, the filmmakers listened to the public’s opinion and reworked the character design to look more like his video game counterpart. The decision worked in the 2020 film’s favor as it only added extra appeal to the family friendly nature of this fast-paced action-adventure. It’s impossible to not be sucked into the charm of this story as Sonic teams up with James Marsden’s Tom Wachowski to battle Jim Carrey’s sensational Dr. Robotnik. Sure, the film might have Sonic’s name in the title, but make no mistake about it: Carrey’s dastardly depiction of the classic Eggman steals the show in every scene. Watch Sonic the Hedgehog on Paramount+.
Tomb Raider (2018)Warner Bros.Look, there’s nothing wrong with Angelina Jolie’s Tomb Raider films. They’re fun flicks that do no disservice to the source material. However, 2018’s Tomb Raider, directed by Roar Uthaug and starring Alicia Vikander as the iconic Lara Croft, hits differently. It doesn’t feel like a gender-swapped Indiana Jones movie, as it contains richer performances and a compelling story to make it stand out in all the right ways. Of course, there’s also the action, adventure, mystery, and a stellar performance from Walton Goggins as the villainous Mathias Vogel. Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman summarized it so eloquently in a review, writing: “The movie is full of vine-swinging, bow-and-arrow-shooting, ancient-spirit-meeting action, but most of it is staged on a convincing human scale, one that’s been expertly tailored to its star’s understated directness.” Spot-on assessment. Watch Tomb Raider on Amazon Video.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)Universal PicturesIn 1993, a live-action Super Mario Bros. hit theaters and served as a reminder of why this franchise should probably stay animated instead. Thirty years later, Mario and Luigi returned to the big screen – in an animated format, thankfully – and proceeded to annihilate the box office, making $1.362 billion as per Box Office Mojo. Mamma mia! The colorful movie captures the wackiness of the source material as Chris Pratt’s Mario and Charlie Day’s Luigi find themselves in a different dimension and participants in the conflict between Anya Taylor-Joy’s Princess Peach and Jack Black’s Bowser. Not only does this endearing film capture the magic of the Mushroom Kingdom and the Super Mario lore, but it also features the heart-tingling song “Peaches,” as performed by Bowser. Try to get that ballad out of your head – it’s impossible. Watch The Super Mario Bros. Movie on Netflix.
Street Fighter (1994)Universal PicturesIn 1994, Hollywood peaked as it put the king of splits, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and a cartoonishly brilliant Raul Julia in a live-action adaptation of the fighting game Street Fighter. The Muscles from Brussels plays American soldier Colonel William Guile (just go with it) who enlists a team featuring the world’s best fighters to take down the sinister dictator General M. Bison (Julia). The plot falls to pieces within the first act and Street Fighter degenerates into an all-out action affair that’s all brawn and no brains, but nobody watches this expecting an A24 film, do they? What it does offer, though, is a plethora of hard-hitting fights, courtesy of the likes of Van Damme, and Julia having the time of his life in what would be his final role before passing away in 1994. In fact, Julia deserves all the plaudits for his delivery of the unforgettable line: “For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.” Watch Street Fighter on Netflix.
ISFJYou are the serious-relationship boyfriend. In a world full of dudes who won’t commit, you are the coveted anti-fuckboy. You invest yourself fully in relationships and don’t shy away from putting serious work into keeping things running smoothly. You throw your absolute all into meeting your partner’s needs, whether it’s a week-old relationship or a fifty-year marriage. You date to find a life partner, not to kill time, and it’s incredibly refreshing for everyone.
ESFJYou are the chivalrous boyfriend. In a world full of hitters-and-quitters, you remain committed to opening doors, paying for dinners and sending ‘just because’ texts to the people you’re interested in dating. You believe that any potential partner of yours deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and devotion – you never want a partner of yours to be left wondering how you feel for him or her.
ISFPYou are the sweet and smoldering boyfriend. You have a sensual streak to you that is absolutely unmatchable – it keeps new partners coming back for more, but it’s your kindness that ultimately wins them over. You care deeply and passionately about the people you fall for, and there’s nothing you love more than making your partner feel special. You are constantly looking for new ways to make your significant other happy, which makes you a phenomenal boyfriend.
ESFPYou are the affectionate boyfriend. You’re an outgoing and adventurous guy, but you also have an undeniable soft side – one that your partners absolutely love you for. You want your significant other to feel completely adored by you – and you make sure they do, by showering them with a constant stream of attention and affection. You’re as smooth as they come when you’re flirting but as genuine as they come in relationships – and it’s a side of you that new partners are delighted to discover.
ESTPYou are the superhero boyfriend. You’re as high-energy and adventurous as they come, but the people you love bring out a soft side in you – the side that wants to protect his loved ones at all costs. There’s nothing you love more than being able to swoop in and save the day for the people you care about – and when it comes to your romantic relationships, you do so without a second thought.
ISTPYou are the jack-of-all-trades boyfriend. You may not be overly showy or romantic when it comes to intimate relationships, but you show your love by helping your partner solve just about any problem they’re up against. You have a knack for picking up new systems quickly and you use this skill to offer fixes for whichever issues your loved ones are facing. You’re a true Jack-of-all-trades and your SOs appreciate you enormously for it.
ESTJYou are the stable provider boyfriend. You go out of your way to ensure that anyone you date is practically supported and getting their needs met. You loathe the idea of not being able to provide for the people you love should they ever need your help – so you work as hard as possible to support your partner in whichever hands-on ways he or she needs from you.
ISTJYou are the strong, silent boyfriend. You may not be the first to preach your feelings to new partners, but you’re absolutely the first one to show up for them when they need you. There’s nothing you will not do to ensure that the people you date are being looked out for, and when you pledge your commitment to someone, you take that commitment seriously. You aren’t afraid to step up and be your partner’s rock and grounding force in a wildly unpredictable world.
INTPYou are the intellectually challenging boyfriend. You are constantly picking the mind of the person you’re dating – wanting to learn as much as possible about them and the way they process the world around them. You aren’t afraid to challenge your partner’s way of thinking in a relationship and it’s something that the right partner absolutely loves you for. You’re constantly learning from one another and it keeps the relationship fascinating for both parties.
ENTPYou are the wildcard boyfriend. With your quick wit, undying curiosity and never-ending stream of new ideas, you are constantly keeping your partners on their toes. Luckily, that’s what your SOs love best about you. You’re always the first to propose a new adventure, spark an intriguing debate or crack a perfectly-timed joke. There’s no such thing as stagnancy so long as you’re around – and your unpredictability is the very thing that keeps your relationships thriving.
INTJYou are the mindful boyfriend. You approach your relationships the way you approach everything else – seriously and deliberately. When you’re with someone, you take specific measures to ensure that the relationship is progressing in a healthy and positive manner. You learn as much as you possibly can about your partner and are constantly looking for ways to challenge and improve the relationship you share with them. Love, to you, means continuously growing and developing alongside your partner.
ENTJYou are the high-achieving boyfriend. Partners know that you hold high expectations for both yourself and the people in your life – but once you meet someone who fulfills those expectations, you’ll absolutely move mountains for him or her. You are powerful, committed and intense when it comes to all of your commitments – and when that commitment is to a relationship, you can bet your ass you’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.
ENFPYou are the hopeless romantic boyfriend. When you fall hard for someone, there’s no outrageous length you won’t go to in order to sweep that person off their feet. You’re the master of elaborate surprises and extravagant romantic gestures. You want to make your partner feel as though they’re living in a modern-day fairytale – one that you’ve craftily written for the two of you to star in and play out.
INFPYou are the emotionally aware boyfriend. In a world full of douchebags and fuckboys, you show the hell up for your partner’s emotional needs. You are genuine, romantic, passionate and devoted to the people you invest in. You’re the first to check in on how the person you’re dating is feeling and the best at helping them sort through and overcome their struggles. Your partners always feel heard, appreciated and understood as long as they’re with you.
ENFJYou are the giving boyfriend. Once you invest yourself in someone, you are happy to give him or her as much of your time, energy, attention and love as he or she needs and desires. You want nothing more than for the person you’re with to feel seen, appreciated and supported by you. You’ll go well out of your way to meet your partner’s physical and emotional needs within the relationship. If there’s anything your partners can’t call you, it’s neglectful!
INFJYou are the psychoanalytical boyfriend. Everything your partner does fascinates you, and you want to learn as much about him or her as possible – in order to connect with them as intensely as possible. Your partner will never feel more seen, understood or supported as they do when they’re with you. You will go to great lengths to ensure that you really know the person you’re dating – and that you can consequently cater to their needs as effectively as possible.
Out of 16 different personality types INFJs make the rarest combination of people to exist, which means they’re often misunderstood and dating them can be a challenging adventure. They have the greatest capacity for love and empathy within a relationship but their tendency to be extremely gullible and idealistic can create problems. Here are some things to be mindful of when dating this personality type.
1. If you’re looking for a temporary romance with them they likely won’t even bother. INFJs prefer long, lasting relationships and avoid short-term relationships if they can. Casual dating and FWB situations just don’t give them the type of deep connection they need to feel fulfilled.
2. They sometimes forget to take care of themselves. INFJs have a habit of taking care of everyone else around them before they take care of themselves. While this sounds sweet and selfless the problem comes when they realize they’ve overextended themselves so much they end up exhausted and needing to shut everyone else out. Don’t take offense to this. They won’t forget about you. INFJs just need a bit of time to recharge and refocus.
3. They’ll always be thinking about what your next fun date should be. INFJ’s are highly idealistic and will always dream big when it comes to your relationship. They always have in the back of their mind your favorite activities, places to go, and preferences when making plans. Although they can enjoy social, more adventurous dates, an ideal date for INFJs are places where you two can spend time one-on-one.
4. Someone who puts a lot of emphasis on labels, designers, or money is immediately off putting. The most attractive person to an INFJ is someone that isn’t materialistic and all about wealth. While big gestures are nice and appreciated, INFJs find happiness in the simple details in life and get just as much out of sitting with you and hearing your stories over coffee than doing anything else.
5. INFJs can be loyal to a fault but this doesn’t mean it’s an opportunity to take advantage of them. They’re able to see the best in people. Even if they recognize a relationship is failing they have a hard time detaching themselves from their significant other. They want to believe in their partner so much, often at the risk of sacrificing their own happiness and comfort.
6. INFJs can be very strange people. This isn’t to say that this is a bad thing, but when you’re one of the rarest personality types chances are there’s going to be naturally something a bit unusual going on. INFJs are very complex and at times even their own complexity can confuse them. They’re aware they’re odd and because of their own self-awareness they always feel misunderstood. Feeling like another person truly ‘gets them’ is a very rare thing for them to experience.
7. They’ll always be able to pick up on when you’re lying or being deceptive. INFJs have an acute sensitivity for when stories just don’t seem to add up and omitting the facts is just as bad as lying to them.
8. INFJs love helping people, especially the person they’re dating. Seriously, it’s one of the things in life that gives them great pleasure. If you’re extremely independent or the type to shy away from receiving help from the person you’re dating you might run into some problems with an INFJ. They see their help, care, and generosity as a way to express their love.
9. Sometimes it can be hard for them to open up. Although INFJs are outwardly warm and engaging they often struggle with the ability to be as open and less guarded as other personality types. They don’t reveal as much about themselves as fast their partner does because they don’t want to invest in someone else they feel could possibly disappear overnight.
10. They typically don’t enjoy PDA. When out in public or at a gathering or party the the most appreciated form of affection is a subtle touch once in awhile to let them know you’re there.
11. Don’t ever pressure them to make more friends or socialize more. INFJs are more interested in having a few solid relationships with people they can truly connect with and be themselves around over dozens of acquaintances with connections that only scratch the surface.
12. They’re extremely future oriented, especially in relationships. They’re always thinking about long-term possibilities in life whether it’s the starting of a new relationship or the longevity of a project. If an INFJ isn’t able to see you as a long-term partner they likely aren’t going to keep pursing you.
13. INFJs can be easily affected by the energy around them, including yours. They need strong partners to be in a truly healthy and fulfilling relationship for them. If their significant other is unstable or constantly has a lot of conflict going on this can completely drain them.
14. They will very rarely initiate anything. INFJs prefer when other people make the initial contact when it comes to dating. Asking for a number, making plans for a first date – these things will have to be done by you. An INFJ takes careful note of who shows interest and whether the energy they put into someone else is reciprocated or not.
15. If it seems like they’re off in another world, it’s probably because they are. INFJs are great at building rich inner lives and daydreaming allows them to live out their fantasies.
16. They’ll always be down to listen to what you have to say. Listening and communicating are INFJs bread and butter. Whether you’re having a bad day at work and need to vent or you just want to talk late into the night about anything and everything an INFJ will contently sit and listen to what’s on your mind.
ESTP: Striking a match off the sole of a weathered combat boot. A lightning storm rolling over the Arizona desert plains, smothering the scorching sun. Pulling a dark shade of lipstick across your lips leaving behind a perfect rebel pout.
INTJ: Getting a new piece of technology, reveling in sliding off the smooth packaging. Feeling air conditioning blast over you after you’ve been sweltering outside. An untouched newspaper, maybe accompanied by a warm cup of black coffee.
ENFP: Your phone lighting up with ‘happy birthday’ texts. Going shopping with cash but no real aim with your best friend. Curling up to watch a favorite childhood movie with your significant other after a long day.
INTP: Wandering the halls of a big museum while rain patters against the centuries old roof. Sitting on the roof in the middle of the night, feeling cold but very, very alive. Listening to chalk busily scratch away on a blackboard.
ISTJ: A fine tip marker that doesn’t bleed through paper. A winding path to a natural landmark in a national park. Picking up those shiny pamphlets they have at interstate rest areas about local attractions.
ENTP: Breaking the rules (intellectually). That thin paper architects use, hurriedly rolled up, making the lines criss-cross over on another, bringing chaos to order. Walking across a clean wood floor in socks. The hum of a coffee maker.
ISFJ: Getting a sprinkle cone for your ice cream. Going out with your friends, laughing and joking and talking about anything and everything. That feeling when someone compliments you and you can tell they mean it.
ISTP: Watching fish drift by in an aquarium, the blue glow reflecting on you. The comfort of ordering pizza for delievery. Finally taking off your shoes after a long day of walking. Reading about a mystery you can’t quite figure out.
ENTJ: When you forward toward your future and all the little pieces see to click neatly into place. The glitter of a diamond in the sunlight. That high you get when things go your way, or you meet new people.
INFP: The fizzing sound a bath bomb makes when you drop it into a warm bath. An earthy mug filled with hot tea. The chill of turquoise jewelry on suntanned arms. The sound of a favorite playlist played late at night.
ISFP: The slam of a screen door on a foggy summer night. The muffled throb of music when you stand outside a concert. A sketchbook stuffed full of symbols and linear patterns. A newspaper clipping, yellowed with age.
INFJ: An empty subway platform at night, brightly lit, keeping the underlying feeling of danger just beneath the surface. The sound of a rattle can, the scent of paint and rebellion. The taste of those cheap suckers they give you at the bank.
ESTJ: When people listen to you and even consider you and expert in something. Picking out a color of nail polish for a manicure. The quiet hum of people laughing and talking in the dim light of an expensive restaurant.
ESFJ: A love letter tied with a pink ribbon. A coin thrown into a wishing fountain. A summer thunderstorm splashing against a pond full of lily pads. A diary filled with moments in time jotted down in beautiful handwriting.
ESFP: The thrill of a fast car and nowhere to be. The feeling of heavy earrings brushing your cheek. The jangle of slot machines mixing with cigarette smoke and the sense of excitement and danger that comes with gambling.
ENFJ: The pop of a champagne bottle being opened. Eating Ritz crackers and sitting on a countertop instead of a chair. The light in someone’s eyes just before you kiss them. Doing last minute changes to a project because you want it to be perfect.
You remember 27 Dresses, right? It’s hard to get that dress montage out of your memory–Katherine Heigl trying on dress after ugly dress as a monument to her selflessness as a perennial bridesmaid. And then there’s the “Bennie and the Jets” scene after she and James Marsden spend hours in a car in the rain. The movie gives us life, but you know what else it gives us? Life lessons. While the rom-com may be over 15 years old now–old enough to get a driver’s license–it’s still chockfull of useful insights. Read on if you’re looking for a kick-in-the-pants to help make your life better. We’re aiming for Heigl’s Jane at the end of the movie, not the beginning.
If you focus so much on helping others, you’ll lose sight of yourself.It’s like the airplane advice: Secure your mask before you help others. Jane is so focused on being everything for everyone else–the perfect bridesmaid, the perfect sister, the perfect assistant–that everything she wants goes by the wayside. There is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing on yourself. Do what makes you happy, and all the rest will fall into place.
Don’t let others steal your dream life.When Jane wasn’t looking, her sister Tess ends up snatching what Jane had thought she always wanted: Her boss. Unfortunately, there will sometimes be people in your life who are more than happy to take something you want. So how do you prevent that? Go for what you want. Don’t give others the space to take it before you even get your chance. It’s also better to surround yourself with good people, and not snakes.
But make sure it’s what you really want.That being said…imagine if Jane had actually made a move on her boss in the beginning. She might never have met James Marsden’s Kevin. (Travesty!) She would have ended up with a weird guy she doesn’t actually have much chemistry with. She probably would have never learned the valuable lesson about not giving up so much of yourself to others, either. If you go for something, make sure you actually want it.
Don’t fall in love with your boss.I mean, that’s sometimes easier said than done. But nothing good can come from pining over your boss. Sure, they may seem interesting and sexy, but that unbalanced power dynamic will always loom over you. Nothing good can come from this.
Keep toxic people out of your life.Okay, this is a little tough for Jane. Her sister is one of the bigger problems of 27 Dresses and you can’t exactly stop being sisters. But you can limit the kind of access and control someone has over your life. Instead, surround yourself with people who lift you up, not tear you down.
Let people know the real you.A big plot point in 27 Dresses is the titular dresses themselves. Jane loves being a bridesmaid and has accumulated a lot of questionable bridesmaid dresses in the process. Where things get sticky is that she seems to be ashamed about this aspect of her life. When Kevin visits her and sees her overflowing dress closet, she’s embarrassed. And when a newspaper article is printed about her bridesmaidery, she feels like it’s the end of the world. People know her secret! But girl, OWN IT. Who cares that she likes to be a bridesmaid? Whatever your weird quirk is, celebrate it and don’t hide it away in a closet. There are an infinite number of ways to live your life, and yours isn’t something to be ashamed of.
You’ll shine if you just let go a little.Now for everyone’s favorite scene from the movie: The “Bennie and the Jets” scene. Jane and Kevin get out from the rain and end up at a bar. After having a few drinks, they’ve loosened up enough to sing Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets” (badly) while standing on the bar. It’s a great night, they’re the life of the party, and it’s the moment where they officially bond. You can be buttoned up all the time, or you can let yourself go just a little. Imagine what hijinks you could get into.
The people you care about will show up when you need them.Just like you should ditch the toxic people, you should make sure you keep around the ones who will be there when you need them. In Jane’s case, all of the friends she’d been a bridesmaid for help by being her bridesmaid in return. They even go so far as to wear the trash bridesmaid dresses they’d asked her to wear. It just shows that they appreciated her all along.
ESTP: They have an intuitive knowledge of what feels good combined with the skill and stamina to win an olympic sex event. Bang at your own risk.
ISFP: Their intense focus on making you feel comfortable, appreciated and desired will cause you to lose absolutely all your inhibitions – which always makes for the best sex.
ISTP: They have an intuitive understanding of what feels incredible to both parties, combined with an ongoing desire to analyze, improve upon and one-up their own skills.
ENFP: They are always down to try something new, unconventional and exciting – particularly if they know that it will please you.
INFP: They have imaginations so sensual and wild that they can probably make you get off using only their words.
INTJ: They see their partner’s pleasure as a challenge to rise to, and are constantly looking for new ways to improve their technique.
INFJ: They are willing to try anything and everything that may please their partner – no matter how outside-the-box.
ENTP: They are extremely sexually adventurous and never want to do it the same way twice.
INTP: They are open to any and all strange fantasies and are completely non-judgmental of their partners desires.
ENFJ: They put their partner’s needs first in the bedroom and refuse to rest until both parties have been thoroughly taken care of.
ENTJ: They are unexpectedly kinky and creative lovers, who aren’t afraid to take charge in the bedroom.
ISFJ: They are constantly picking up on little things you like in the bedroom and will work hard to perfect their approach to them.
ESFJ: They are only happy if you are and will place 110% of the focus in the bedroom on you.
ISTJ: They are diligent about perfecting their sex game and will deliver consistent quality in the bedroom.
ESTJ: This type must be the best at everything – including sex – so they will work diligently to up their game and ensure that they’re delivering a high-quality experience.
ESFP: They are highly in tune with both your body’s needs and desires and your emotional needs and desires. They are essentially sex wizards, who will ruin all future lovers for you.
ENFP: That feeling when that risky text you sent to your crush pays off and they tell you they like you too and then you stay up talking to your best friend into the wee hours of the morning about what happened because you’re so happy.
ISTJ: That feeling you get on the first day of school when you’re early and you got a good seat and you lay out all your stuff for taking notes, plus a bunch of extra supplies you don’t need but you lay it out anyway because everything looks so neat and organized.
INTP: That feeling you get when you find out something new and it makes a bunch of other things make sense and you’re just sort of excited and in awe of your newfound knowledge.
ENFJ: That feeling when you feel like people have your back on something and you feel invincible so you go out there and you succeed and afterward they all say that they knew you could do it and you know it’s all because of them and you tell them so and everyone is happy.
ISTP: That feeling when you walk outside and you realize fall is here because there’s a chill in the air, and fog in the glowing trees and you get that thrill in your stomach of the mystery and renewal of autumn.
ENTP: That feeling when someone admits you were right, even though they had sworn you weren’t and so you guys call a truce and now they actually come to you when they are not sure what to think.
INFP: That feeling you get when you’re in a strange new place and you’re a strange mix of scared and brave and excited but you don’t know how to put it into words so you just kind of stare around at things with a wondrous look in your eyes.
ISFJ: That feeling when you meet a new friend’s pet and it immediately loves you and you’re really excited and so is your new friend and you guys sit on the floor and play with their pet and become way closer friends.
ESTJ: That feeling you get when you accomplish something major and people recognize it, and they’re excited about it, and you’re so excited that you immediately set even higher goals for yourself because everything seems achievable.
ESTP: That feeling you get when people are really impressed by something you didn’t even realize was cool, and now you have the warm glow of people being impressed by you when you weren’t even trying.
INFJ: That feeling when you give someone advice and they take it and it works out marvelously and they’re happy because it worked out, and you’re happy for them and for yourself because you did the right thing and helped them.
ESFP: That feeling you get when you meet a cute stranger and you kind of flirt with them and they flirt back and you know that this is the beginning of a relationship and it’s so exhilarating.
ISFP: That feeling you get when you walk into a used bookstore and you can feel the knowledge and adventure swirling around you just waiting for you and the bookshop owner knows your name and lets you browse but when you’re done they suggest just the right book.
INTJ: That feeling when things go according to plan and people seem to be acting as they should and you’re excited about your plan but you don’t want to jinx yourself so you make sure to not let your emotions show too much.
ESFJ: That feeling when you finally save up enough to buy something you’ve been dreaming of, sans accessories, but when you get there they’ve discounted the price so you can get both, and so you’re surprised and happy and thankful all at once.
ENTJ: That feeling when you fix a problem in secret and then you hear other people talking about how well that mystery person fixed it and you’re so happy because people liked it and it got fixed and that knowledge is all yours to keep in your pocket and take out and look at once and awhile.
It can be argued that cities, like people, all hold distinctive personalities. To find which one best matches your own personality, take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and then check out which city jives best with your values.
ISFJ – Zurich, SwitzerlandZürich, SwitzerlandIf there’s anything an ISFJ likes it’s a clean, well-ordered environment where everyone gets along nicely and everything works the way it should. In the pristine city of Zurich, ISFJs will find themselves perfectly at home. Reserved but polite, the citizens of Switzerland don’t like to raise much of a fuss unless they have to. They go about their days, get business done as they should and then retire to their well-maintained homes with their close-knit families. Ever-neutral Switzerland is the ideal spot for the peace-seeking ISFJ. No fuss, no muss, no hefty disagreements.
ENTP – Hong KongHong KongHong Kong offers a diverse fusion of the Eastern and Western worlds, with enough food, entertainment, languages, religions, diversity and opportunity to keep the ENTP intellectually stimulated until the end of time. This type loves exploring new avenues of thought and new methods of experiencing life. The sprawling city of Hong Kong is as diverse as the ENTP’s mind – constantly presenting a new opportunity to learn, progress and change. It is the ideal fit for the ever-evolving existence of the ENTP.
ISTP – Queenstown, New ZealandQueenstown by Lawrence MurrayCoining itself the “Adrenaline capital of the world,” Queenstown looks like a giant playground to the sensory-oriented ISTP. This type thrives on hands-on activities and is drawn to extreme sports like heli skiing, skydiving, mountain biking and hang gliding. ISTPs can usually be found dangling from cliffs with a Gopro strapped to their head and complete disregard for the rules strapped to their psyche. They’re independent by nature and adventurous in spirit – more or less the precise definition of a Kiwi.
INFP – Amsterdam, The NetherlandsAmsterdamTolerance and mutual respect are at the core of Amsterdam’s values, which sits well with the peace-keeping INFP. This type craves harmony, connection and deep analysis of the human condition: All of which present themselves in the eclectic city that is Amsterdam. Once you get past the scandal of the drug scene, you find a fascinating well of culture that resembles the psyche of the INFP: Hesitant and reserved, yet deeply understanding of various forms of life. INFPs find comfort in the liberal values of Amsterdam, while enjoying the space to fully consider their own beliefs and values.
ESTJ – Shanghai, ChinaShanghai, ChinaKnown as the economic, commercial and financial center of China, Shanghai is an ideal fit for the business-savvy ESTJ. This type thrives on efficiency and progression in the workplace, which means they like to move up quickly. Shanghai offers the opportunity for ESTJs to play in the big leagues of international business, while still occasionally letting loose and getting rowdy in one of the many international nightlife districts. This impressive Chinese city places the hard-working ESTJ right in the heart of opportunity.
INTP – Silicon Valley, USACupertino, a town in Silicon ValleyNot so much a city as a suburb of one, Silicon Valley is an ideal spot for the innovative INTP. This type thrives in intellectually stimulating environments that encourage both logical analysis and creative inspiration. The massive quantity of tech companies and startup businesses in Silicon Valley allows the opportunity for this inquisitive type to thrive. There is no shortage of brainpower in the intellectual district of San Francisco, which means the INTP almost never runs out of new ideas to pick apart.
ESFP – Rio de Janeiro, BrazilRio de Janeiro, BrazilESFPs like it hot – in every sense of the phrase. Rio de Janeiro is alive and thrumming with music, culture, passion and excitement, which is perfect for the vivacious ESFP. This type likes to be where the action is and where the party never stops. Rio de Janeiro provides unlimited opportunity for this people-centered type to mingle, mix and live it up. Plus the mind-blowing backdrop of the city appeals to the aesthetic focus of this sensory-oriented type.
ENTJ – New York, USANew York CityIf there’s one thing ENTJs love it’s getting things done – in the most efficient and progressive way possible. This innovative type likes to be exactly where the action is, so that they can analyze the action, come up with a more efficient way to harness it and then turn it into a profitable enterprise that they get to take charge of. What better a place for this progressive type than the center of the world, New York City? They want to be on top of all the latest developments and if there’s one place where the action never stops, it is in the big apple.
ESTP – Capetown, South AfricaCapetown, South AfricaThrumming with action and adventure, Capetown is the perfect escape for the ever-wired ESTP. Daring and bold, this type enjoys collecting new experiences and moving quickly toward novel endeavors. They are incredibly in tune with their external environment, which means the outdoorsy nature of Capetown appeals to them. Mountains in the backyard? Check. Surfing two blocks over? Done. The fearless ESTP will find plenty to occupy themselves with in the stimulating city of Capetown.
INTJ – Seattle, USASeattleAs the most highly educated and most literate city in the United States, Seattle offers an ideal fit for the cerebral INTJ. This type is open-minded yet guarded, curious yet hesitant and private yet deeply intrigued by all aspects of the human experience. Seattle itself offers similar contrasts: It is progressive yet secluded, wealthy yet humble and urban yet environmentally conscious. INTJs find themselves perfectly at home in this progressive city, as the science and technology fields attract NT types in hordes. This means they have an ideal peer group to share thoughts, ideas and theories with. Plus the gloomy weather tends to drive people indoors, so the INTJ is free to shut themselves away to work on their latest project.
ISFP – Honolulu, HawaiiHonoluluISFPs are the embodiment of the tranquil, harmonious culture of Hawaii. This type puts a heavy emphasis on aesthetics, which makes the lush backdrop of Honolulu an ideal spot for the artistic ISFP to find inspiration. Collectivistic yet reserved, this type enjoys deep connections with loved ones but takes time to warm up to others – which is why the small, remote location of Hawaii suits them perfectly. Small enough to comfort them, wild enough to let them roam free.
ENFJ – Florence, ItalyFlorence, ItalyWith all of the charm but less of the chaos of most Italian cities, Florence’s delightful streets practically beg for ENFJ invasion. The quaint streets and comfortable neighborhoods allow for close-knit communities to form, which is a priority for the ENFJ. This type loves nothing more than establishing deep connections with others and fostering those relationships closely. The family-oriented culture of Italy embraces these values whole-heartedly – with a country steeped in history and artistic creativity to boot.
ISTJ – Berlin, GermanyBerlinISTJs like clear-cut, upstanding efficiency – and Germany offers the ideal cultural fit. The historical city of Berlin holds a heavy focus on education, development and intellect, which appeals to the no-nonsense nature of the ISTJ. This type doesn’t hesitate when it comes to getting things done and they enjoy living in a city that holds the same value. Patriotic to the core but private with their personal lives, this type enjoys the structured, independent values of Germany.
ESFJ – Los Angeles, USALos AngelesESFJs want to be where the people are – particularly where the people are hooking up, shacking up, breaking up and living it up. This type thrives on connection, which makes the celebrity-ridden matrix of Los Angeles an ideal spot for ESFJs to keep up to date with the latest goings-on. Plus the ever-changing nature of the film industry provides ample opportunity for people-centered work, which is what the ESFJ truly shines at.
INFJ – Paris, FranceParisParis offers an unprecedented combination of class, culture, history and style. The city has been a metropolitan melting pot of artists and intellectuals since its first days and is unbearably attractive to the idealistic NFs of the world. Valuing privacy but feeling deeply engaged with the artistic community, INFJs find themselves blending nicely into the cosmopolitan streets of Paris. They are able to explore their interests in depth, engage with the history of the nation and keep to themselves as much or as little as they please. The delightful French culture of Paris sits well with the INFJ – who is as rare a gem as the city itself.
ENFP – San Francisco, USASan FranciscoENFPs barf rainbows. San Francisco barfs rainbows. It’s a perfect fit. But in all seriousness, the liberal values of San Francisco have been attracting NF types for decades. Known for its hippy-dippy attitude and intellectual focus alike, the city is a perfect fit for the idealistic, liberally minded ENFP. This type enjoys exploring numerous avenues of self-expression and personal growth, which San Francisco provides ample opportunity for. This buzzing, vibrant city mirrors the attitude of the effervescent ENFP in almost every way possible.
Most movie characters tend to fall into one of two set categories: the well-intentioned hero and the dastardly villain. Keeping each other in check through their constant battles, these characters represent the eternal struggle between good and evil, typically leading to the protagonist triumphing over their scheming nemesis by the film’s conclusion.
Every once in a while, though, a film will opt for a different interpretation of its lead character, distancing said individuals from the set archetypes surrounding heroes and villains. These characters–known to pop culture fandoms as “anti-heroes”–demonstrate a far more ambiguous personality than their heroic counterparts, blurring the line between a sympathetic protagonist and a morally uncertain lead antagonist.
Travis BickleColumbia PicturesIt’s hard not to sympathize with Taxi Driver’s Travis Bickle, a traumatized Vietnam War who reluctantly finds work as a taxi driver in 1970s New York City. Harboring a misanthropic view of the numerous passengers who board his vehicle, Travis’s disquieting cynicism is matched only by his overarching depression and crippling sense of isolation. Driving around the Big Apple with “some bad ideas” in his head, audiences almost want to reach through their screen and pat Travis’s back, restoring his faith in human decency and basic morality before he falls over the deep end (which, in the end, is exactly what happens).
Michael CorleoneParamount PicturesMichael Corleone’s gradual fall from grace forms the backbone of The Godfather trilogy. Initially introduced as an industrious young man who wants to distance himself from his family’s shady business, it isn’t long before Michael’s pulled into the Corleones’ affairs after an attempt on his father Vito’s life. Reluctantly entering the world of ‘40s organized crime out of familial loyalty, Michael soon sacrifices everything for the sake of maintaining his criminal empire, including his marriage, his future, even his own brother, all to secure his unchallenged rule in the East Coast Mafia.
Beatrix KiddoMiramaxAs evidenced by almost every one of his movies, Quentin Tarantino doesn’t necessarily have clear-cut “good guys” when it comes to his main protagonists, with many of his characters existing in a moral limbo between hero and villain. Along with such memorable creations as Pulp Fiction’s Jules Winfield or Inglourious Basterds’ Lt. Aldo Raine, viewers can easily spot this trait with Kill Bill’s main character, Beatrix Kiddo.
A former ninja assassin out for revenge against her former teammates, Kiddo’s path to vengeance comes riddled with nonstop violence, leaving behind the corpses of friends and foes alike. While successful in her mission, audiences can’t help but feel a touch of sympathy for Kiddo, watching helplessly as she gets closer and closer to killing an ex-lover she clearly still has feelings for.
Deadpool20th Century FoxEarning the nickname the Merc with the Mouth for a reason, Ryan Reynolds’ motor-mouthed assassin-for-hire Wade Wilson might just be the funniest anti-superhero in all of Marvel. Retaining the signature hilarity of the character’s earliest comic book appearances, Reynolds’ portrayal of Wilson has only grown better over time, ensuring a character audiences can root for as much as they heartily laugh at. Whether awkwardly flirting with complete strangers or mocking his would-be nemeses, nothing out of Deadpool’s mouth can be misconstrued as serious or threatening, making him all the more enjoyable a protagonist to watch hack and slash his way across the Deadpool series.
Will MunnyWarner Bros.In a genre littered with larger-than-life heroes played by John Wayne, Montgomery Clift, and Roy Rogers, Unforgiven’s William Munny appears as something of an anomaly. A former outlaw who has renounced his violent ways, Will struggles to run a failing ranch in 1880s Kansas, contributing to his eventual return to the saddle. Initially introduced as a good man trying to put his problematic past behind him, Will’s return to the gunslingers’ lifestyle is nothing short of a tragedy, adding some fascinating depth to this selfless, murdering, family-oriented bounty hunter.
Max RockatanskyRoadshow FilmsThe eponymous Max of the Mad Max series, Max Rockatansky exists as a kind-hearted police officer driven mad by the world around him. Standing up for law and order in a landscape populated by ruthless bikers and despotic warlords, Max’s struggle to hold onto his morality fuels much of the Mad Max saga, giving Max a more three-dimensional personality compared to his fellow wasteland inhabitants. In spite of his constant attempts at self-preservation, Max always prevails in doing the right thing when it comes to helping others–from rescuing a group of wayward children in the desert to assisting a group of enslaved women in escaping from their tyrannical spouse/cruel master.
Harry CallahanWarner Bros.Next to the Man with No Name, Harry Callahan without a doubt remains the most well-known character ever portrayed by Clint Eastwood. A street-smart San Francisco police inspector who tows the line between law enforcement officer and full-blown vigilante, Harry has never hesitated in rolling up his sleeves and taking the law into his own hands. Demolishing criminals with his trusty .44 Magnum, Harry makes the Punisher seem like a docile, law-abiding citizen by comparison, with Harry able to outgun the most hardened personalities of the Golden City’s criminal population.
ENFP and INFP: Because in the past, you’ve been burned by your own wild imagination.You have a tendency to rush into things heart-first, with your imagination running wild alongside you. More than a couple of times, you’ve found yourself disappointed when the reality of a person or a situation doesn’t quite measure up to the way you envisioned them in your mind. You’re more cautious about handing over your trust nowadays, as you’ve learned that it’s best to let your head catch up before your heart leaps entirely over the fence.
INFJ and ENFJ: Because you don’t want to plan an entire future with someone who’s just going to leave.You don’t do ‘casual’ anything. If you’re dating someone, it’s because you see a future with them. If you’re working somewhere, it’s because you want to advance in the position. When you go ‘in’ on a commitment, you go all the way in – and you pour every inch of your heart into it. You’re cautious about placing your trust in others because you want to make sure that they’re in it for the long haul as well. Otherwise, you’re making plans around something that might disappear at any moment – leaving both your heart and your plans for the future in the lurch.
ESTJ and ISTJ: Because you always invest 100% and you don’t want that investment to be taken advantage of.You don’t commit to anything halfway. You feel a strong sense of diligence and obligation to the people, communities and positions that you invest yourself in – and you want that same sense of investment in return. Once you make a serious commitment to something or someone, you prioritize them above everything else in your life. And that last thing you want is for someone to take advantage of that tendency.
ISTP and ESTP: Because you know firsthand how selfish people can be.You don’t have rose-colored glasses on. You’ve been around the block a few times and you’ve seen it all – people lying, cheating, betraying each other and throwing one another under the bus to benefit themselves. You’re distrustful of others because you’re realistic about others, in a way that many other people are not. You know that it’s human nature to be selfish, so you’re careful to protect your own heart.
ESFJ and ISFJ: Because you’re used to giving more than you get back.You’re a giver by nature, and supporting those around you comes as naturally to you as breathing. Unfortunately, others aren’t always quite as openhearted as you are. You’ve learned through trial and error that you have to be careful and whom and what you invest your heart in. You don’t want to have to limit your love, so you need to find someone who’s ready to give it back to you in equal measure, before you let yourself get too invested – and end up heartbroken at the end of it.
ENTP and INTP: Because you have an objective understanding of the dark side of the human psyche.Most people slap on rose-colored glasses when they’re falling in love or investing in a new opportunity – but you have never owned a pair of those in your life. You have no problem staring down the human psyche for what it is – a self-preserving entity, that functions to protect the individual in question at all costs. It’s not so much that you think people are inherently malicious – it’s just that you know they are inherently out to protect themselves. So you do the exact same, by never trusting anyone else above yourself.
ESFP and ISFP: Because you’re easily affected by relationships and are scared of getting hurt again.It sounds a little dramatic, but it’s true. You feel both the highs and the lows of a relationship very intensely, which means when it’s good it’s great – but when it’s bad, it’s really bad. You’re cautious about who you place your trust in because you invest a lot of your heart into any relationship you enter into – and you’re afraid of someone walking away with it, leaving you empty and alone.
INTJ and ENTJ: Because you secretly think everyone else is incompetent.Okay maybe not everyone, and maybe not entirely incompetent, but you secretly believe that most people are at least a little less competent than you are. You have trouble placing your trust in others because you can’t see how anyone else could come up with a plan for the future that’s better than the one you figured out – so you’d prefer to just go with your own and trust others only with what you absolutely need to.
ENTJ: Lives for anything that’s not a ride. Probably enjoyed the Hall of Presidents. Most likely is carrying a fanny pack “because people can steal stuff out of a backpack”.
INTP: Completely forgets to eat and winds up getting huffy from low blood sugar in line for Thunder Mountain Railroad. Is mollified after eating $40 worth of chicken strips from a basket shaped like Winnie the Pooh.
ENFP: Takes pictures with all the characters. Somehow even found the super rare characters like Captain Hook. Definitely instagramed a picture of their Dole Whip against Cinderella Castle.
ISTJ: Second most likely type after the ENTJ to have a fanny pack. They filled theirs with granola bars to escape what they insist on calling the park’s “price gouging”. Are true believers in wristbands and fast passes.
ENTP: Starts out not excited at all but then has a good time. Manages to find the wedding ring in the sidewalk outside The Haunted Mansion.
ENFJ: Is at Disney for the fireworks and parades. They also somehow talked their way into Club 33, the secret Disney bar.
ESTJ: Brings a huge DSLR camera and documents their whole trip in 4K. Surprises their friends with fast passes for the ride with the longest wait.
INFJ: Spends their whole trip in Epcot, trying everything. May also fall in love with one of the guys working in one of the countries. (Most likely either Italy or Canada)
ESTP: Goes on the biggest, scariest ride 100 times. After they’ve finally burned themselves out, they make their way to their second favorite ride, the Small World ride.
INTJ: Insists on making everyone stop at the big map at the opening of the park and plot out what everyone wants to see and in which order. Only wants to eat at Epcot.
INFP: Acts really chill until someone tries to drag them to something that’s not a ride. Is definitely more excited about the log flume than anyone else. Is both shocked and overly emotional that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride isn’t in the park anymore.
ESFJ: Finds someone’s pass on the ground. Takes immediately to the lost-and-found office. Goes to have tea at the Grand Floridian.
ISFJ: Spends most of their time in the Wild Kingdom. Leaves only on their quest to collect all the pins they can.
ISTP: Loved the Test Track ride, especially the part where you can build a car. Might have slightly scared the people in line ahead of them by debating aloud about whether Walt Disney was part of the Illuminati.
ESFP: Is a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to the rides. Goes out to the Main Street Electrical Parade every night.
ISFP: Eats only at the places on Main Street USA. Makes crazy faces at the rollercoaster camera with their friends and actually buys the picture to always remember their trip.
Chill is a word that other people are constantly using to describe me.
It’s not a term I coined for myself.
Growing up, I was deeply, inherently unchill. I was emotional and scattered, in a family full of cool-headed and put-together people. I had mood swings. I had anxiety issues. I had a whole host of unchill behaviors that followed me around and wreaked havoc on my personal and social life until a solid three years into high school.
And then I grew up and chilled the hell out.
It’s not so much that I got any less neurotic in my twenties – it’s just that I learned to channel my own obsessiveness in more productive ways. I became neurotic about my work. I became obsessive about my life trajectory. I cared deeply and passionately about the areas of my life that truly mattered, and others I didn’t waste time on.
And so my ‘chill girl’ persona was born.
I got called ‘chill’ by guys I was casually sleeping with, because I didn’t pester them for a relationship.
I got called ‘chill’ by friends who travelled with me because I was always down to go out and party.
I got called ‘chill’ by any acquaintance who knew me just well enough to understand that I’d been around the block a few times and wasn’t shocked by much of what they might admit or propose to me.
My rampant open-mindedness and thirst for new experiences were seemingly synonymous with the word ‘chill’ and for a while that didn’t bother me at all. It seemed like a good thing, to be chill.
It was what all of the Internet was vying for. It meant people were comfortable and open around me, and I liked that.
Until I started to realize that the term ‘chill’ was a double-edged sword.
It turns out, many people equate the term ‘chill’ to the term ‘unemotional.’ They assume that your easy-going nature is a product of genuinely not caring about much of what happens in your life and so by extension, they don’t have to care either.
And as it turns out, it isn’t always fun to be thought of as ‘chill.’
It isn’t fun to be thought of as chill when people bail on commitments they’ve made with you and assume that you’re not going to mind.
It isn’t fun to be thought of as chill when someone you’re crazy about offhandedly refers to you as ‘one of the guys.’
It isn’t fun to be thought of as chill when people think they can blur the lines of consent because you ‘like to have a good time.’
It isn’t fun to be thought of as chill when you finally muster up the courage to admit you need help or support with something major and are waved off because people assume that you’ll either figure it out on your own or forget about it.
Being chill stops being aspirational when everyone around you starts assuming that having a laid-back demeanor disqualifies you from harboring real emotions. That everything just rolls off your back.
Because that’s exactly when being perceived as ‘chill’ gets a whole lot less quirky and fun: When people stop taking you seriously because of it.
The truth about chill girls (or guys) is that we’re never as chill as you think we are.
I don’t care if we get Korean or Italian food for dinner. I’m down to come to your sex-positive warehouse party that started ten minutes ago. I see various sides of most situations and find it genuinely difficult to pass judgment on others as a result.
But I care a fucking lot about what matters.
I care about the people in my life and my relationships with them. I care about my safety and health and well-being. I care about where I am going in life and who is going there with me and what I have to offer to the world.
I give a shit about things that aren’t apparent if you meet me at a party or in a coffee shop or if you’re mindlessly scrolling through my twitter.
I am chill about the small, pesky everyday issues because I am deeply unchill about the big picture.
And the same can be said of most ‘chill’ people.
If I spend ten minutes arguing with the Starbucks barista about the definition of the word ‘foam,’ I’m losing ten valuable minutest of work time. If I am judging the outfit so-and-so put on this morning, I am sacrificing positive energy that I could be directing toward goal-setting. If I stopped and took the time to freak out about every passing day-to-day concern, I wouldn’t have half of the energy that I do have to devote toward my long-term objectives.
Call it ‘chill’ when someone holds different priorities than you do, sure.
But just know that behind every person you call ‘chill’ is a person who cares deeply, intensely and fiercely about something else out there.
Just probably not the same thing as you.
These teen TV boyfriends portray themselves as the ultimate nice guys, but they also showcase abhorrent behavior at times.
Since the dawn of time – okay, maybe since the launch of The WB – teen dramas sneak into our hearts and refuse to ever leave. They take the guest room and soon feature in every discussion as these characters become family. The guys on the shows, in particular, turn into archetypes – whether it be to show how boyfriends should behave or what someone should expect from their partner.
It’s a lot of pressure for teen TV boyfriends, though. They mess up along the way, don’t always pick the right love interest, and disappoint the viewers who expected better from them. Heck, in a few cases – looking at you, Dan Humphrey – they’re trash to begin with and hindsight proves to be 20/20 here. So, with this in mind, let’s take a look at the times in which the most popular teen TV boyfriends totally sucked.
Gossip Girl‘s Dan Humphrey is an origin story for You‘s Joe GoldbergThe CWDan Humphrey presents himself as an outsider – “Lonely Boy.” He holds himself to higher moral standards than everyone else, believing to be above the superficial nature of the lives and times of the people from the Upper East Side. Even so, Dan desperately wants to be a part of this world and be accepted for who he is rather than what he does. By the end of the series, though, he achieves this, but he’s also revealed to be Gossip Girl – the Perez Hilton-like website leaking all the personal information about the people around him.
Here’s the problem, though. While Dan thinks his actions as Gossip Girl serve a greater purpose and mirror society’s problems, he’s a total creep. Not only is he a snitch who can never be trusted again in any friend circle, but he also displays worrisome stalker tendencies as he lurks in the shadows to gather dirt on everyone – including the girl(s) he supposedly loves. This dude doesn’t know the meaning of ride or die, that’s for sure. The more one thinks about it, his actions as Gossip Girl are the same behaviors Joe Goldberg displays in You – and both characters happen to be played by the same actor, Penn Badgley. Joe also presents himself as the intelligent and witty guy with a strong distaste for the superficial; however, he’s a liar and murderer who rationalizes his actions by blaming “society.” Hmm… Sounds oddly familiar – apart from the murderer part – doesn’t it? Don’t be surprised if Dan’s little website is the gateway for him to unlock the rest of his incel tendencies as Joe.
One Tree Hill‘s Lucas Scott nearly ruins Brooke Davis’ entire lifeThe CWLook, anyone with a set of eyes knows Lucas “Luke” Scott wants to be with Peyton Sawyer. He looks at her differently, and it’s clear she’s the one who makes his heart sing. So, this is what makes his actions in One Tree Hill Season 1 even more perplexing as he hooks up with Peyton’s best friend, Brooke Davis. While Brooke pursues and flirts with Luke, she never hides how she feels about him to Peyton – quite the contrary. Luke and Brooke become an item, as Brooke showers him with affection and admits to falling for him – truly, madly, deeply. However, the expected happens here: He sneaks around with Peyton and cheats on Brooke.
Before Peyton and Luke can come clean to Brooke, Luke is involved in a car accident that nearly claims his life. Who’s at his hospital bedside the whole time? Brooke. The moment he’s back home, though, he breaks up with Brooke – deciding life’s too short and he wants to be with Peyton. Oh, how noble and considerate of you, Luke. It also doesn’t take too long for Brooke to put one and one together and figure out he was cheating on her with Peyton. So, not only does she lose a boyfriend, but also a best friend. Talk about a double blow. However, this isn’t even the capper. After Brooke finds it in her heart to forgive both Luke and Peyton, she even gives him another chance later on. So, what does he do? He repeats history. Scumbag.
The O.C.‘s Seth Cohen toys with Anna Stern and Summer RobertsFoxMuch like One Tree Hill‘s Luke, Seth Cohen makes it no secret of who his person is: Summer Roberts. However, he complicates matters when Anna Stern comes along. Seth and Anna share a lot more in common than he does with Summer. In fact, Anna gives him one of the nicest gifts ever: A comic book created about him and his toy horse, Captain Oates. Seth bounces between both girls until they rightfully force him to make a choice. Heck, even the Backstreet Boys agree: Seth needs to quit playing games with their hearts. Ultimately, Seth picks Anna, but their union doesn’t last too long.
To be fair, Summer plays a huge role in breaking up Anna and Seth, as she involves herself in their relationship and stirs up trouble. However, it’s Anna who realizes that Seth’s heart belongs to Summer and breaks up with him. Still, Seth’s actions prove to be selfish in the long run because he never could put Summer out of his head, and dedicate himself to his current relationship. He held an infatuation with Anna because she liked the same things as him and gave him attention. He leads her on to believe they could be something more than friends, when he should have not done so to begin with if he had doubts.
Riverdale‘s Archie Andrews wants to keep his options open all the timeThe CWAs a series, not much makes sense in Riverdale. It’s a “go with it” type of concept, as the show teeters between surreal and ridiculous. Expectedly, the relationships between the characters become soap opera-esque as no one can keep up with who’s dating who (the Forresters have nothing on the citizens of Riverdale). One of the biggest culprits is Archie Andrews. Much like in the comics, the popular redhead struggles to decide between Betty Cooper or Veronica Lodge. So, what does he do? He hops between them like he’s a penguin from Happy Feet, and expects them to be available for him.
What’s atrocious about Archie’s behavior is how he’ll have the “let’s be friends” speech with someone like Betty, who is his childhood friend, then change his mind a moment later. Betty is also at fault here, though, as she plays the games with him and doesn’t tell him to pick a lane and stick to it. These two simply cannot decide what they want to be: Friends or more. In the interim, people like Veronica and Jughead Jones prove to be collateral damage to Barchie‘s indecision about how to label themselves. Without a shadow of a doubt, this is a prime example of why people shouldn’t date within their friend circle, as it always leads to problems in the end. With billions of individuals in this world and online dating apps showcasing others nearby, it’s okay to expand the search beyond the same four people you hang out with every day.
ENFP: A Ferris wheel all lit up at the county fair. Kissing in the rain. Finding something you haven’t seen in years. Candy flavored chapstick.
INTJ: Purple ink in a gold tipped fountain pen. An ironed Sunday Times. A personal library filled with leather bound books. A perfect Scotch and soda.
INFP: Shooting stars on a warm June night. A tattered paperback copy of a classic novel. A cotton printed dress with Birkenstocks. Backpacking through Europe. Messy curls.
ENTP: A marble statue at a NYC art museum. A fresh Moleskine notebook. A vintage full manual camera. A cappuccino in a paper cup. The sound of rain on a window.
INTP: A lamp glowing in a dark room. Thick glasses, pushed up on their nose. A wrinkled shirt. A notebook with pages torn out of it. The smell of boiling Top Ramen.
ENTJ: A colorful Excel spreadsheet. Dancing to music in the kitchen. The feeling of weary success after public speaking. Wrapping gifts while watching Christmas movies on TV.
ISTJ: Opening a package you’ve been waiting for. The scent of ivory soap. New school supplies. A big box store that’s perfectly organized.
ENFJ: The smell of a new car. Going out with your friends, laughing over overpriced mixed drinks. The satisfaction of things going according to plan. The snapping sound of closing an expensive jewelry box.
ESTJ: The smell of printer ink. Black coffee in a travel mug. The sound of hanging up dry cleaner bags. Buying holiday decorations for cheap directly after the holiday for next year.
ISFJ: Holding a brand new kitten and deciding on a name for it. Queen Anne’s lace waving gently in a field. Funky dangling earrings. A tranquil lake. A quiet sense of adventure and excitement, like waking up for a 3 AM flight.
ESTP: The lights of the Las Vegas Strip reflecting in a pair of sunglasses. A storm brewing at the edge of town. A concert full of lights and sound. An empty shot glass and the smell of cigarettes and old leather.
ESFP: The pulsating lights at a club. The smell of cheap alcohol and expensive perfume. A social-media-worthy brunch. That feeling you get before you get a daring haircut. A candy necklace.
ISTP: That feeling you get driving on a foggy road at night. Looming evergreen trees in a National Park. A redone vintage car. Shaggy haircut. Bright eyes filled with wonder.
ESFJ: Petit four in neat paper frills. A loose braid swinging behind its owner. A clear forest pool. Short nails, neatly bitten down. Talking in a low, happy voice in front of a fire.
INFJ: A priceless work of art, tacked to a wall. A long black overcoat with half a bag of Skittles in one pocket. Walking through a silent city at 2 AM. A cottage in the mountains, half obscured by morning mist. A vintage record spinning silently.
ISFP: Jeans that fit exactly right. A mystical shop, stuffed full of books and curiosities. That feeling of finally discovering your destiny. Finding a secret menu item from your favorite restaurant. The quiet noises of a small hamlet town awakening to a crisp fall day.
This article was originally published on Bitch Magazine. It contains major spoilers for Game of Thrones. You have been warned. Many of us who tuned into Game of Thrones during the season finale were astounded, yet, ultimately not surprised by the hero who conquered the Night King. It was an epic scene when Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) leaped out of seemingly nowhere and skillfully maneuvered her Valyrian steel dagger to kill the biggest threat to Westeros. And it was perhaps one of the most powerful takedowns on television.
After all, this was a young woman who did what Jon Snow (Kit Harington), Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), and many other characters on the show couldn’t. Yet one could argue that Arya has been preparing for this particular battle her whole life: a skilled fighter, a trained assassin, she had just as many skills and talents, if not more, than anyone on the show. Her defeat of such an enemy was poetic in its own right: This is a young woman who grew up in the darkness of trauma and patriarchal structures of her society, only to channel that trauma into an unparalleled ability to fight the darkness.
From the very first scenes of the show, Arya defies what is expected of young women. When she shoots the arrow right into the target her brother Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright) was meant to hit in the first episode, this is potent foreshadowing that Arya’s skills will come in handy—and that they will surpass those of her peers and male counterparts. The youngest girl in the Stark household is bold and talented with a sword, equipped with expertise in the art of bow and arrow. And as we find out later on, she can fight even better than Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie). Her destiny is greater than one might assume—and her journey holds many powerful lessons about trauma survivors.
Arya Stark’s Journey of Complex TraumaArya endures what is known as complex trauma throughout the show beginning in childhood. According to complex trauma expert Dr. Judith Herman, “In contrast to a single traumatic event, prolonged, repeated trauma can occur only where the victim is in a state of captivity, under the control of the perpetrator. The psychological impact of subordination to coercive control has many common features, whether it occurs within the public sphere of politics or within the private sphere of sexual and domestic relations.”
Arya undergoes numerous inescapable traumas throughout her very short life, drastically shaping her personality and worldview. As we know, adverse childhood experiences have a deep, long-lasting impact on the brain. She witnesses unimaginable trauma when she sees her own father being murdered as a young child. Her innocence and belief in the inherent goodness of the world are disrupted at a tender and vulnerable stage of development. Not only does she lose her family, but she also is forced to forfeit her own identity and the safety that comes with it. She is then separated from the rest of her remaining family and forced to walk her journey alone while masquerading as a boy. That is, until she is held hostage by the Hound who forces her to survive a long journey home to her family.
Her journey with the Hound by her side becomes a trek with many dead ends, as she discovers that most of her family has been killed. Throughout the first few seasons of the show, we watch the grueling misery of Arya’s strife as she is forced to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles—homelessness, being out on the streets, having to fend off constant threats of rape and death, major losses in her family, temporary blindness, and the brutality of her captors, just to name a few. One could argue that she goes through what psychologists have called “trauma reenactment,” with similar traumas being repeated across different circumstances.
At a pivotal point in her journey, Arya trains as an assassin with the Faceless Men, which proves incredibly useful to her destiny as she learns to don disguises and fight in stealth mode. Though she is small, she is fierce. Though she is young, her training contains the wisdom of a lifetime, because she is forced to grow up quickly and survive situations many would not. Her journey to that level of maturity is incredible.
While many of us don’t spend our time fighting White Walkers or plunging Valyrian steel daggers into the Night King, Arya still uniquely captures and represents the hero’s journey of a complex trauma survivor. Here are five things we can learn from her about resilience and trauma, and five lessons we can take from her unforgettable time on screen:
1. Her heightened instincts and ability to sense danger with alarming precisionAs a child, Arya is trained by Syrio Forel (Miltos Yerolemou) to be as “swift as a deer, quiet as a shadow, calm as still water.” She also learns that fear cuts deeper than swords. These are all lessons that will inevitably help her to defeat the Night King. Arya’s training with Syrio lays the crucial foundation for her sword-fighting abilities, but it is actually the dangerous incidents she is forced to confront head-on in everyday life that challenge and hone her ability to identify and navigate danger skilfully. It is in her life experiences after her initial training that give her the platform to utilize these lessons. From living on the streets of King’s Landing to fighting a trained assassin from Braavos while temporarily blind, Arya learns to defend herself against a variety of perpetrators even when she is just a child on the cusp of womanhood.
Many of us are familiar with the term “hypervigilance,” a state of hyper-attunement we can develop to our surroundings due to trauma. Arya develops it in spades as she learns to evade danger in every corner. Often, hypervigilance is seen as a negative symptom of trauma, but actually, there are times our heightened attentiveness can be useful for our discernment of someone else’s true motives and character. According to researcher Willem Frankenhuis, people who have been abused in childhood can develop what Dr. Michael Ungar calls “an uncanny ability to detect threats in their environment, an enhanced capacity to learn new things, and even improved memories when it comes to paying attention to parts of their environment that are the most relevant.”
After all, if our childhood environment was chaotic and traumatic, we likely mastered the skill of learning to anticipate danger and threat. We found ways of noticing nonverbal cues, subtle shifts in tone, gestures, and changes in our environment. We were always on the lookout—and this gave us the gift of an intuition more finely tuned than our less traumatized peers.
As therapist Athena Phillips writes in a 2012 article for GoodTherapy:
“Survivors of trauma regularly inform me of what they experience as something akin to having superpowers. The capacity to feel things other people can’t, to identify either the goodness or inherent evil in someone just by looking at them, or to ‘predict’ interpersonal outcomes are some of the new-found abilities people have described. People who have experienced trauma often indicate that they are able to pick up on covert human behaviors, and there is a great deal of trust in their capacity to intuit. Oftentimes, these powers really do exist; survivors have developed a discriminating aptitude for picking up on environmental cues that may have significance to them.”
2. Her fragmented sense of identity and search for her true identity and wholeness.Trauma creates fragments: It shatters the connection among memories, thoughts, emotions, and the self. Complex trauma survivors often find themselves confronting disparate inner parts that developed as a result of the traumas they endured; according to trauma experts, they must find ways to identify and integrate these parts in healthy ways in order to reach their true core calm and compassionate self. Much like any complex trauma survivor, Arya tries to escape the terrors of her childhood by taking on other identities and dissociating from her past except for her justified rage at those who murdered her family members. Arya’s need for vengeance ultimately creates a “protector self” that keeps her focused on a list of people she must kill rather than her true self and her grief.
Arya’s search for her own identity is also astutely represented by her brutal experiences at Braavos where she learns to become “no one” in her training to become a Faceless Man and assassin. There, she is beaten, terrorized, and challenged to fight back. Ironically, it is her journey to becoming no one that eventually leads her to own the fact that she is indeed someone. As she tells Jaqen H’ghar bravely and with conviction, “A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and I am going home.” It is only when she integrates her darkness within her true self, recognizes her true power and strength from the traumas she has emerged from, that she decides she is going home. She goes home not just to her family but to herself.
3. Her post-traumatic growth and psychological self-masteryAs therapist Andrea Schneider notes shrewdly in her Game of Thrones blog series, characters who have endured trauma on this show can exhibit promising signs of post-traumatic growth, the positive psychological changes we benefit from after enduring adversity. While regaining a pre-trauma identity is next to impossible for characters like Arya, her post-traumatic growth is tremendous.
Not only does Arya learn to incorporate the life lessons of her trauma into her sword fighting and archery skills, she learns psychological mastery. She learns the art of resourcefulness even when she has nothing. She learns how to stealthily collect information (like when she does when acting as cupbearer to Tywin Lannister) to further her journey. She learns a great deal about patience, self-control, confidence, observing rather than reacting, and how to put herself in the mindset of her attackers and predators around her so she can anticipate what they will do—and can preemptively strike. As a result of her traumas, she gains wisdom and skill sets beyond her years, which many adults in the show are still struggling to obtain.
Arya has no explicit desire to be a leader or queen, but her ability to lead due to her experiences make her more fit for the throne than many others who seek it for personal power. It is her desire for justice, rather than power, that makes her unstoppable. Complex trauma survivors experience many of these same psychological benefits as they process, heal, and grow from their traumas. They can learn to navigate life with an increased sense of gratitude, fortitude, and develop a habit for making the best of their circumstances to create success and joy at an even more intense level than someone who has never been traumatized. As they heal, they have an incentive, drive, and determination that can far surpass that of the average person, as well as a greater sense of meaning.
It is only when Arya Stark integrates her darkness within her true self and recognizes her true power that she decides she is going home.
4. Her darkness has to be integrated in order to fully own her light. Arya is a curious character in that she is not encouraged to forgive those who have wronged her or took the lives of her loved ones. That is what makes her one of the most phenomenal female characters on television: her darkness is not minimized or sugarcoated. It is recognized, along with her authentic outrage, in all of its unflinching glory. And skilled trauma therapists agree: forced, premature forgiveness can actually hinder a survivor’s journey because it invalidates how we really feel and does not give us the time or space to actually process our traumas.
Trauma therapist Anastasia Pollock puts it this way:
“The people I work with in the therapy room are resilient and courageous. They are able to work through their traumas, but many get caught up on one point: They believe they are supposed to forgive the perpetrator but can’t seem to get there. This is what I tell them: You don’t have to forgive in order to move on. Emotions are important and automatic. When we can acknowledge and appreciate even the darkest, most negative-feeling emotions, they often soften and release. As soon as I say, ‘You don’t have to forgive,’ the person usually breathes a sigh of relief.”
Unlike a woman who turns the other cheek and goes immediately into love and light without any kind of transformation beforehand, Arya turns to her sword, Needle, to deliver a much-needed message to perpetrators like Walder Frey (David Bradley). The North remembers, and so does she. She avenges her loved ones one by one, and when she does, we can’t help but cheer from the sidelines.
Although in real life this form of vigilante justice is unrealistic, not recommended and quite gory (none of us should be baking our enemies into pies—we’d have a more productive time processing our traumas in therapy), we learn an important lesson about trauma: it cannot be spiritually bypassed. Our so-called “dark” emotions must be acknowledged in order to fully own our true light. The outrage and rage we feel must be seen, heard, experienced, confronted and (while perhaps not shown on this show) healthily expressed in order to be healed. Whether Arya’s quest for revenge is misplaced is up for debate, but one thing is for sure: this young woman is not your typical depiction of a trauma survivor who forgives and forgets her way into healing. Yet her intense emotions are an all too real part of this journey.
5. Her resilience and strength would not be the same without her experiences, but how you harness your strength and wisdom matters. People can still validate and honor the injustice of their traumas while acknowledging the internal resources and coping skills they granted them. Trauma can give people the strength and resilience of a sumo wrestler, and Arya is no exception – but it is all about how your harness your strength. As whole families are killed, legacies wiped out, and kingdoms come under siege, Arya remains—one of the few survivors of her family. A weary traveler and warrior, she is forced to confront what no child should have to endure. But she does endure, and she is better for it.
At the end, it is this little girl who grows up to be the warrior woman—who ultimately conquers the darkness. No one expected her or saw her coming. Everyone underestimated her. And therein lies her greatest power. It was the traumas of her past that gave her the ability to defeat the Night King, to avenge her loved ones, and to protect her community. Complex trauma survivors, too, are capable of this same kind of resilience—and the ability to give back what they never received.
Arya is every little girl who grew up in terror and trauma. Who survives impossible situations through her resilience, grit, talent, and determination. Whose identity is previously in fragments, only to become whole as she comes into the woman she was always meant to be. And yes, she is truly ruthless when it comes to her enemies. Yet it is perhaps her ability to own her demons that make her even more powerful when she’s avenging her loved ones, enacting some sweet justice and saving the world. We can all learn life lessons about trauma from this brilliant, multifaceted and truly one of a kind character. She is all those who have survived—and thrived.
The finale of Bridgerton Season 3 had a different sort of coming out story. Sure, we got the queerness that we – well, some of us – had been pining for. That came in the form of Benedict and, possibly, Francesca, if the Bridger-ton is to be believed. However, those moments were fleeting, and involved neither Eloise nor Cressida, causing me to put my foot in my mouth. Instead, the biggest coming out moment arose during Penelope’s speech before the ton, in which she not only revealed herself as Whistledown, but repented for lacing her past writing with acid. Demonstrating wit, humility, savvy, grace, and, most of all, bravery, she laid her soul bare for England’s most judgmental town while coming out as the most imperfect sort of writer: a disenfranchised upstart.
Throughout the show, we’ve seen Penelope struggle with feelings of inadequacy and rejection as she navigated a society which constantly overlooked her. Her writing skills, as she so elegantly described in her big speech, allowed her to reclaim some power and earn a place in society, even if without formal recognition. She could finally turn a mirror on society, catch the sun’s illuminating light, and aim its searing rays at the ton’s hypocrisy. However, Penelope’s immaturity and arrogance got the best of her: She often exacted vengeance, casting pitch black ink on her subjects’ reputations. In her speech, she admitted to seeing the fault in this, demonstrating her growth as a writer and woman.
Penelope’s arc doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Her most venomous barbs recall gossip writers of not only Regency England but of the past two decades. Moreover, her status as a shunned outsider artist makes her relatable to a whole host of contemporary commentators who hurl cleverly phrased daggers at their enemies from behind unadorned Twitter eggs. I’m talking about Queer Twitter – or, rather, queer writers everywhere, especially those who have outgrown their hurt and realized that they can use their writing for good. Having a talent for wordsmithery and an online platform, whether official or self-appointed, can lead a bullied queer person to lash out at the world through their writing. I did it, once, when I got my first job writing for Out Magazine. I constantly wove criticism and cynicism into my writing, casting judgment on queer people and straight people alike, unaware that I was castigating the very society that had underestimated me and ostracized me throughout my adolescence. These days, I’m much tamer: I see writing as a bridge, not a battle-ax – a tool for connecting with readers via my expressed thoughts. But can I say the same for other writer-outsiders?
Gossip pamphlets, like the ones Penelope distributed throughout Mayfair, were very popular in the Regency era. They continued to run blind items about politicians and the upper class, focusing on love affairs, throughout the 19th century. Town and Country, America’s oldest general interest magazine, got its start during this gossip writing craze and remains alive and kicking today. The Daily Mail also rode this gossip writing wave, coasting all the way to the rocky shores of 2024. And while the famed Page Six of the New York Post didn’t arise until much later, it still owes its success to these early iterations of Regency gossip papers. Thus, it’s safe to say that the Penelopes of yesteryear never faced reckoning; in fact, they spawned two whole centuries of saucy, invasive, judgemental quasi-journalism.
And what about the Penelopes of the Internet age – the Just Jareds and Perez Hiltons of the world? Actually, it’s almost insulting to Regency writers to compare them to Perez or Jared, who couldn’t write their way out of a “u up” text. And yet, the impetus of Perez’s empire – the outcast’s need to crucify those in the sun, who radiate joy – is the same. You could even draw a link between Penelope and the former staff writers of Gawker, may it rest in pieces, who spewed ire (albeit hilarious ire) at the doofuses of New York’s and L.A.’s media elite. That’s not to say that some of them haven’t deserved it, but let’s just say that if you ever had the pleasure of dating a Gawker writer circa the mid 2010s, then you’re probably in therapy now. So, have any of these bitter scribes owned up to their hurtful words? Well, Gawker is practically scrubbed from the Internet as of November 2023, so the site has encountered some sort of divine justice. As for the writers, however – and I’ll include Perez in here – I don’t think any of the Internet’s most prominent gossip writers have ever humbled themselves as powerfully as Penelope did.
All that being said, is it safe to say that the bitter Bettys of the Internet deserve a reckoning? That’s not for me to say. What is apparent, though, is that there’s power in recognizing one’s bitterness, and that a writer can spin that hurt into something greater. Penelope, for instance, has entered a new era – one in which she can delight the masses without judging, wounding, or moralizing. She’s more responsible for her words and actions now. She’s out to create, not dissect. She’s seeing the world through a clearer, more objective lens, and making unadulterated art. And Mayfair is all the better for it.
The Boy Season 4 has received a lot of criticism, which shows that a lot of people missed the actual point of the show.
For a show that’s taken huge creative swings, The Boys Season 4 finds itself facing significant backlash like never before, with its audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes being the lowest to date (52% at the time of writing). According to some viewers, the series has become too political or “woke” for its own good, as it tackles issues of misinformation and radical agendas. In addition, a subsection of the audience appears genuinely surprised that Homelander isn’t such a nice guy after all and might be the villain of this whole darn story.
What’s most alarming about this turn of events isn’t the opinion – because hey, everyone is entitled to one – it’s the blatant lack of media literacy on display. Here’s a newsflash, folks: The Boys has been all those things it’s been accused of since its first episode debuted in 2019.
The Boys isn’t about the supes or humans – it’s politicalIn an interview with Variety, The Boys showrunner Eric Kripke explained how politics played a major part in the program from early on and continued to develop as real-life world events happened. “We sort of lucked into a show whose metaphor is really about the moment we’re living in, which is the cross-section of celebrity and authoritarianism,” Kripke said. “And so once we realize that, we’re like, ‘Well, we have to go all the way.'”
Amazon Prime VideoKripke elaborated on how the original comic book series deals with America’s society post-9/11, and the show follows in the same footsteps as it provides a social commentary of the current state of the world. The showrunner is correct about the source material, because even in his other comic book efforts, The Boys writer Garth Ennis has become known for tackling the illusion that America remains the moral compass of the world, as well as the dangers of unwavering patriotism when faced with facts. This isn’t exactly hidden in The Boys either, as Vought International and the Seven have always been harrowing warnings about what happens when centralized power and one viewpoint rule above all.
For Kripke, The Boys is a lot like South Park in the sense that it doesn’t back down from providing its opinion on what’s taking place in the world, no matter whom it may offend. “The show’s not subtle,” he told Variety. “It wears its politics on its sleeve. And it’s funny to rip on the madness on the right, and we get some shots in on the left of all the performative wokeness and everything.” Since there’s a big election taking place in America in 2024, is anyone really surprised the show chooses to say something about the political climate?
Homelander has always been the villain of the storyForget about the countless memes or Antony Starr’s outstanding performance as Homelander for a second. The character itself – the leader of the Seven – isn’t an antihero like Deadpool or Venom. He’s a completely repulsive villain who has committed atrocities – even Eric Kripke doesn’t understand how viewers can see him as anything else. Lest we forget, this is the man who has killed innocent civilians, sexually assaulted Becca Butcher, willingly dated a Nazi, and demonstrated his racism over and over again. Yes, The Boys gives him a compelling backstory, showcasing how he’s also a product of a broken system, and he provides the occasional funny quip or moment – but this doesn’t absolve him of any of his crimes.
Amazon Prime VideoNow, in The Boys Season 4, he’s applying all the tricks of populist politics to appeal to his supporters and discredit the truth. This isn’t out of character for Homelander – not one bit, actually. It’s the natural evolution of his devious character. While he’s an all-powerful supe who can’t be stopped in a one-on-one fight, he’s now realized that information is the greatest power at his disposal. By controlling the narrative, he positions himself to hold the greatest power of them all. Homelander might adorn himself in the red, white, and blue, but he couldn’t care less about the flag or its people. It’s about his selfish interests; and it always has been.
Comic books have always been about socio-political issuesThere’s a subsection of the internet calling for politics to stay out of comics. It’s a strange comment to make, since the medium and its adaptations have never shied away from socio-political discussions. Think of Captain America slugging Adolf Hitler on the cover of Captain America Comics #1, or Superman battling the Ku Klux Klan in Superman Smashes the Klan as two prime examples. It’s a pretty clear statement of what these comic book superheroes stand for, and they aren’t asking anyone to consider “both sides” here.
Unfortunately, the lack of critical thinking and media literacy are causing people to develop a concerning misunderstanding of these stories and what they’re about. Sure, there are powers, colorful personalities, and awesome poses, but these tales and characters have always been about something more – fighting for what’s right and against those who wrong others. For instance, look at the reaction toward X-Men ’97 from certain segments of the audience and the accusations of it being “woke.” How can anyone not see that the X-Men has always operated as a metaphor for marginalized communities and the intolerance they suffer in the world? It’s never been subtle or hidden. Not even once.
The Boys follows suit in a similar way. It might not be as on the nose as other comic book-related properties, and often lathers a layer of satire and humor on top of the intended message, but the comic book and show have always been about the dangers of absolute power and the deconstruction of the American dream. It peels back the curtain to illustrate how systems are created to benefit a few while exploiting many. If left unchecked, they only snowball into greater problems and tumble toward a point of no return. If that hits a little too close to home and makes people question the society they live in or the values promoted, good – that’s the whole point of it.
Five things people don’t realize you’re doing because you’re an Enneagram 8 woman, the most dangerous personality type.
If you’re an Enneagram 8 woman, you are considered one of the most “dangerous” personality types as the traits and behaviors associated with this personality type are often deemed (wrongly so) socially unacceptable for women. Yet these are the same traits and behaviors that are some of the most powerful strengths Enneagram 8 women can exhibit so long as they harness them constructively and with empathy.
Having “breadwinner” energy.You’re an Enneagram 8, you can’t help it. Everywhere you go, you want to lead and take care of things. You want to protect and serve. When you walk into an environment you can change and transform it completely just through your presence, ideas, personality, and game plan. Whether you’re getting the check for your friends, planning a get-together, or building your own company, you’re always on top. While not all Enneagram 8 women are bold and loud, many exude an intense power from within that naturally intimidates others and their presence alone takes up all the energy and space in the room. The leadership qualities of the Enneagram 8 woman can clash with society because this is a woman who stands in her natural power without apologies. And frankly, that’s a bit frightening for a society that seeks to subdue women at large.
You’re blunt AF.Is your boyfriend toxic? Let an Enneagram 8 woman give it to you straight (but keep her away from your boyfriend in the meantime, unless you really want him to be humbled directly). Could you improve on something and want to know what that could be? Uh oh. Unless you want some healthy feedback that you can actually put to use, avoid the Enneagram 8 woman at all costs. She is blunt AF, and you may be both alarmed and amused at how carefree and open she is with her words. Unless an Enneagram 8 woman is a straight up narcissist, most of the time her bluntness has very little to do with cruelty or malice, however. In fact, genuine kindness and care are at the root of her motives. If she didn’t care about the outcome of a friendship, relationship or goal, or your mental well-being, she wouldn’t even bother. But when she tells you the truth, she says it because she knows it’s helpful, and usually serves the greater good and your highest good.
Being right a lot of the time and accomplishing great things as easily as breathing because of their resilience.Bossy? More like doing you a favor. Okay, okay maybe they’re not right every time, but we would still discourage you from ignoring an Enneagram 8 woman’s advice at your own risk. Their wisdom comes from hard-earned experience and knowledge, as most Enneagram 8s tend to be forced to tackle tough circumstances from a young age and develop exquisite resourcefulness as a result. They earned their resilience and know how to leverage their strengths masterfully and they know the right and wrong path to take, so long as they balance that with empathy and tact. They have done the calculations, they possess sharp intuition, and they usually know what works best in any situation that involves some kind of “winning” or “overcoming” because they have had to be problem-solvers their whole lives. If you don’t believe them, simply have a look at their track record of success. They aren’t called The Challenger for nothing. They are master alchemists, overcoming challenges and transmuting obstacles thrown their way into achievements like it’s nothing because they’ve been doing it all along.
Taking care of your enemies for you. Stay silent for what? An Enneagram 8 woman may not be the most demure woman you come across, but she’s certainly the friend you want in your corner when shit’s going down (or need tips on how to bury a body – just kidding! She prefers avoiding jail time). She will defend and protect her loved ones with bold ferocity and the rights of the most vulnerable with a take-charge attitude that leaves you breathless. But seriously, Enneagram 8 women can be terrifying when they want to be and when necessary. So long as it’s for the greater good, I don’t see the problem.
Showing surprise vulnerability.Surprise! The tough exterior of an Enneagram 8 woman hides the warm, soft, squishy Jigglypuff heart of someone who wasn’t allowed to be vulnerable in the world and had to develop a tough shell to survive. If you are a person of integrity, patience, honesty, and empathy, you may just get to witness this vulnerable side once in a while when they open up to you and show you their softer side. But an Enneagram 8 woman will make you swear it never happened, and they’re not afraid to leave you in the dust if you ever take advantage.
Dearest gentle reader: this article contains spoilers for Bridgerton’s Season 3, Part 2.
Previously, we wrote about the love-filled moments in Bridgerton’s Season 3 that captivated our hearts and made viewers believe in true love again. But were there moments Colin could have done better? Absolutely! Not all fans of the show were impressed by Penelope and Colin’s romance and detected some red flags in what felt like a rushed romance. So, to balance out our enthusiasm over the romantic moments in the season, here are four times Colin was the absolute worst in Bridgerton’s Season 3 according to fans, even though he may have redeemed himself at the end.
He ruined Penelope’s wedding night.While the wedding night may not be as big of a deal anymore for most people in the modern day world, and Penelope and Colin did have a beautiful “honeymoon” experience via le miroir before the wedding, it certainly is more significant in the Regency Era Bridgerton is set in. Colin was understandably upset about discovering that Penelope intended to continue being Lady Whistledown, but to leave her alone on her wedding night seemed especially childish and retaliatory. This was a significant moment in Penelope’s life and their fights and arguments seemed to overshadow the joy of the upcoming nuptials (although, we got to admit, the argument before the wedding ending in a steamy makeout session was pretty hot). Viewers express that they wanted more romance and less chaos this season and just got too much turmoil. Other viewers still appreciated their romance despite the arguments. Given that the season seemed more focused on side plots and other characters, there just wasn’t enough peaceful Penelope and Colin moments for many viewers to be entirely satisfied.
Acting like a playboy — and that notorious “eyebrow raise.”Although it’s understandable that we needed to see how Colin had transformed himself throughout his travels, viewers of the show felt certain scenes weren’t entirely necessary. Did we really need a threesome scene with Colin and two random women to show us that Colin was now more sexually experienced? Or that strange eyebrow raise and “come-hither” stare to the gaggle of women constantly surrounding him? We think not.
Telling Penelope he was envious of her success.Technically this was both a best and a worst moment. We love that Colin confessed that he was envious of Penelope because it shows a level of self-awareness and maturity to come to terms with one’s jealousy. However, the fact that he allowed his envy to drive some of his hostile behavior toward her and make their pre-nuptial affairs may be a red flag (in real life it certainly would be). Thankfully, Colin did step up and give a heartwarming speech about supporting Penelope’s ambitions and talent, declaring it would be an honor to love a woman as brave as she is and who shines so brightly, so we do give him major props for the redemption.
Accusing Penelope entrapped him, when he was the one putting her in precarious situations.It makes sense that Colin felt like he had been lured under false pretenses but he also has to look more carefully at his own pursuit of Penelope. If anything, Colin was the one pursuing her even though she had already moved forward after the first kiss. Constantly being around Penelope unsupervised thus threatening her perceived “virtue” to other suitors, “deflowering” her before the wedding, and interfering with her potential engagement to another man actually means Colin was the one who “entrapped” Penelope if we want to get technical here. Penelope should definitely be held accountable for deceiving others about her true identity as Whistledown, but Colin should also take responsibility for the part he also played in ardently pursuing her. Considering men have more free will and agency to pursue their desires whereas women are shamed for doing so, it does seem like quite the double standard to make such an accusation.
All this aside, we do celebrate the romance we did get in Bridgerton between the two. We just wish it was less chaos filled and took up a lot more screen time than their fights and arguments.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the red flags you are dealing with a narcissist, not a genuinely kind person.
They try to sabotage or exclude people they envy.One of the most telling behaviors that gives a narcissistic person away is their malicious envy and the actions they will take to try to sabotage someone who is surpassing them in some way. In relationships, this may look like your narcissistic partner deliberately starting arguments with you before a big interview or exam because they’re jealous of your career, or a family member excluding you from family events because they have hidden resentment toward you for being more popular than them. Or you may notice more subtle microexpressions of anger when you share good news with them, and a tendency to center themselves after issuing a half-hearted, strained congratulations followed by a silent treatment. This can also take place in the workplace and in friendships. For example, if you notice a seemingly sweet friend always giving compliments to her loyal cronies but suddenly turning sour whenever a more attractive and successful friend comes around, or a co-worker constantly gossiping about someone specific or trying to “hide” or minimize this person’s achievements in front of their superiors, trust your instincts. This is the same person who will become your worst enemy as soon as they see you succeeding or getting attention they feel entitled to. It’s one thing to be envious or jealous, but to act on it to hinder someone else is a deeply malicious and narcissistic act.
They knowingly surround themselves with unethical people and don’t try to protect you if you are a target of these types of people.You’ve probably heard the platitude that a person’s character can be measured by the company they keep. This is especially true for narcissists. If they help support or defend people who commit acts of great evil, chances are, they themselves are capable of the same. This is the narcissistic mother who puts her child in harm’s way by dating a predator and will gaslight the child when he or she speaks out because they choose their relationship over the safety of their children. This is the friend or family member who says, “Well they were always nice to me,” when you tell them one of your mutual friends or relatives was hostile toward you. If you notice a seemingly kind person knowingly and frequently surround themselves with liars, cheaters, criminals, cruel bullies — it’s often because they themselves resonate with the character of these people and may even help protect them from accountability.
They are willing to do the unthinkable and engage in morally unsound actions to get their needs met.Piggybacking off the last point, a narcissistic person believes that the ends justifies the means no matter who it harms, and shows a lack of empathy and remorse for how outrageous their actions are. They may charm and love-bomb people and even have large groups of individuals fooled with their false mask, engaging in grand gestures to prove how “kind” and charitable and generous they are, when in reality, they are just making a show in the beginning to ensure that their victims are generous and remain invested in them, even when they do reveal their true selves and become stingy with their efforts. In fact, they may even pretend you are the one acting strange for reacting normally to their sudden withdrawal and inhumanely cruel and horrific behavior to gaslight you. That means you might witness them pulling the wool over someone’s eyes and making false promises, dangling the carrot to have people do what they want for them before trying to sweep the rug up from underneath them, or lying their way up the corporate or social ladder while exploiting the most vulnerable. They might take credit for the labor of others while stealing their work. When confronted, they’ll pretend you are in the wrong for calling it out. Yet you notice through the discrepancy between their words and actions that they are just doing whatever is necessary to benefit them, with no care or empathy for the harm they may cause others.
You catch them in elaborate lies as well as white lies told for no reason.Narcissistic people can lie for personal gain but narcissists with psychopathic traits and a tendency to lie pathologically can also deceive others for more sadistic reasons and duping delight. For example, you may notice that a narcissistic partner is hanging out with an ex and catch them doing so. They may then proceed to gaslight you and begin telling an elaborate lie about how they ran into their ex by complete chance, elaborating with great detail about their shock at running into him — all despite the fact that you confirmed the dinner reservation they made ahead of time to meet up with their ex. Or you may discover that a friend lied about the state they were born in, something of no consequence — and that this pattern of lying for seemingly no reason continues throughout your friendship. Whatever their reasons may be, this is not a trustworthy or safe person to be around.
They hurt you, only to come to the rescue, orchestrating constant chaos to cause confusion.The narcissist orchestrates chaos so they can feign innocence when called out and pretend to come to the rescue to take credit for being the savior or valiant white knight. For example, they may make cutting remarks one minute, only to give you flowers the next. Or they may diminish you with a so-called cruel “joke,” only to shower you with attention and affection the next day. This causes emotional whiplash designed to keep you fixated on the chaos they cause rather than detaching from the relationship. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you are not alone and help is out there. You deserve safety and healing. | Shahida Arabi is a published researcher specializing in narcissistic traits and psychopathy. She is the bestselling author of six books, translated into 18+ languages all over the world.
A show’s soundtrack is as vital to its story as the plot, dialogue, and other elements because music helps set the mood, enhance the storyline, and bridge more of an emotional connection between the audience and the show’s characters.
Here are seven shows with the best soundtracks.
1. ScrubsFirst up, Scrubs. Because obviously. Scrubs follows the lives of the quirky, ambitious, and dedicated staff of Sacred Heart Hospital. Narrated by Dr. J.D. (John) Dorian, played by Zach Braff, Scrubs has some of the best music to complement the show including The Fray, U2, Cheap Trick, The Shins, Poison, Howie Day, Nelly, and more. The soundtrack of Scrubs really did add to the show’s story.
2. BridgertonBridgerton, a Netflix Original Series that just released its third season, has an impeccable soundtrack with classical covers of current pop songs including “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift, “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, and “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5. In fact, Bridgerton’s music is so amazing that some of the songs were even nominated for various awards, including an MTV Movie Award for Best Musical Moment for Anthony and Kate’s dance to the Midnight String Quartet’s cover of “Wrecking Ball.”
3. Gossip GirlGossip Girl is iconic for more than epic fashion; it also has one of the best soundtracks ever. Each season of the hit teen drama series had tons of hits including M83, Vanessa Carlton, Santigold, Sum 41, Florence + The Machine, Young Folks, and more.
4. EuphoriaThe HBO breakout series Euphoria has one of the best original scores ever, all thanks to the work of British musician Labrinth. While Euphoria does have other songs throughout the show, it is the original music by Labrinth that makes this teen drama stand out.
5. My So-Called LifeWhile we only got one season of My So-Called Life starring Clare Danes, Jared Leto, and Wilson Cruz, the 1994 teen drama has a truly incredible soundtrack including the likes of The Cranberries, Live, Sonic Youth, Violent Femmes, R.E.M., and other essential music that defined the angst that was the 1990s.
6. Mad MenMad Men is a drama about one of the top advertising agencies at the beginning of the 1960s. Focused on the story of Don Draper (Jon Hamm), one of the firm’s top executives, the series featured an understated but smart use of music from the era, enhancing the show’s authenticity.
7. AtlantaCreated by and starring the multitalented Donald Glover, Atlanta is a drama and comedy about cousins Earn (Glover) and Alfred (Brian Tyree Henry) trying to make a name for themselves in Atlanta’s rap scene. So, naturally, the soundtrack to Atlanta is fire. Migos, Kodak Black, Lloyd, Childish Gambino, and more set the tone for this amazing series.
In Hollywood, money makes the world go round, but that doesn’t mean that a film that bombs at the box office is any less good than others.
In days gone by, no one cared about how much money a film ever made except for the studio executives and accountants. Nowadays, though, people use it as a measuring stick of sorts, using box-office bombs or successes to win pointless internet arguments with strangers. Yet, take a fantastic and inspiring movie like Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga as an example. It failed to make back its budget of $168 million, but that says nothing about its quality. Sometimes, it just happens that people only latch onto a motion picture long after its release. In fact, some of the most famous films of all time were box-office bombs. Don’t believe this? Fine. Let’s take a closer look!
Fight Club (1999)Chuck Palahniuk’s novels aren’t everyone’s cup of bourbon, as the author pushes buttons with his provocative work. However, with David Fincher helming the film adaptation of Fight Club and having stars like Edward Norton and Brad Pitt on board, much was expected of this 1999 film about a narrator and his violent imaginary friend who encourages him to create chaos in an effort to fight the system.
20th Century FoxWhile far from receiving a pummeling at the box office, Fight Club struggled to meet expectations, only making $100.9 million globally from its $63 million budget. The basic mathematics suggest that’s all good and dandy since the return is higher than the budget, right? But that’s not how showbiz works, baby. The general rule of thumb to calculate profit in studio productions is to take the budget and times it by two. If the box office earnings prove to be higher, great. If not, I am Jack’s smirking revenge against capitalism.
Blade Runner (1982)Based on Philip K. Dick’s phenomenally titled Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, starring Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard, remains cherished as one of the finest sci-fi and cyberpunk films of all time – even if multiple versions and cuts exist that make it impossible to keep track of which is which. Remarkably, it’s also a movie that’s gotten better over time, as everyone analyzes its core meaning about what it means to be human and remembers Roy Batty’s evocative “tears in rain” monologue.
Warner Bros.The 1982 film didn’t exactly delight critics or flood the box office with stacks of cash when it debuted, though. Blade Runner cost a reported $30 million to make, but it only made $41.8 million around the world after several re-releases. For whatever reason, the audience didn’t want to show up for this epic, even when presented with multiple opportunities to right the wrongs of before. Shameful.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)As the golden age of comic book movies started to bloom, a unique effort based on a graphic novel by Bryan Lee O’Malley landed in 2010. Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. the World fused comedy with superheroics, telling the quirky story of musician Scott Pilgrim as he tries to win a battle of the bands with his group Sex Bob-Omb and fights off the seven exes of his love interest Ramona Flowers.
Universal PicturesWith its unique visual aesthetic and an all-star cast featuring Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, and Brandon Routh, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World couldn’t be a better example of right place, right time. Somehow, it wasn’t, as Scott’s greatest nemesis ended up being the box office. The film cost $85 million to produce but struggled to make back $50 million worldwide.
The Iron Giant (1999)When it comes to animated films that make everyone cry, Brad Bird’s The Iron Giant is right up there with The Lion King and Bambi. Taking place in the 1950s, it follows young boy Hogarth Hughes who befriends a giant robot from outer space; however, a suspicious federal agent believes the robot comes from enemy territories and wants to destroy it. Ultimately, The Iron Giant delights as a touching story that isn’t afraid to be deeper than the average cartoon.
Warner Bros.Despite phenomenal reviews, the 1999 film struggled to lure the audience into theaters, as it only managed to muster $31.3 million worldwide from a $50 million budget. Its greatest sin? It was released in the same week as M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense, which garnered all the attention at the time and had everyone saying they see dead people.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)John Carpenter loves teaming up with Kurt Russell, and the pair combined their powers for 1986’s Big Trouble in Little China – a fantastical martial arts movie that sees truck driver Jack Burton explore a mystical new world under Chinatown. It’s a quintessential film for ’80s action fans, and also the type of concept that wouldn’t have felt out of place in an era that was all about mullets, martial arts, and mayhem.
20th Century FoxRussell’s star power and Carpenter’s reputation weren’t enough to sell tickets, though, as Big Trouble in Little China only made $11.1 million globally from a budget reportedly in the region between $19-25 million. Even so, it left its mark on fans, including one Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who was in talks of cooking up a sequel to the film in 2018.
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)Despite Stephen King’s undoubted horror sensibilities, he’s also an exceptional storyteller across multiple genres. In 1994, filmmaker Frank Darabont took one of his tales and turned it into The Shawshank Redemption. It’s the kind of film that makes people laugh, cry, and appreciate the power of the human spirit as it follows Andy Dufresne who lands up in prison for the murder of his wife and her lover, even though he proclaims his innocence. As testament to its quality, the film received a litany of Academy Award nominations in the major categories.
Columbia PicturesHowever, the film bombed at the box office initially, as it struggled to make $30 million worldwide from a $25 million budget. The setback didn’t stop The Shawshank Redemption from establishing a legacy among film lovers, though, as its re-release after the Oscar hype resulted in more millions being added to the theatrical haul and it affirmed itself as a must-watch movie on VHS in the ’90s. Turns out Andy was right: “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
There’s nothing quite like the dreadful feeling of looking back at hindsight and realizing that even our most beloved movies have problematic aspects we may have overlooked, minimized, or not recognized the full impact of until we matured a bit and learned life lessons of our own. Here are the six romance movies that at the time seemed normal to audiences but turned out to be quite problematic and aged terribly. While most on the list were beloved (like Never Been Kissed), a couple of these (like American Beauty) were just straight up creepy from the start.
Never Been KissedFirst of all, who didn’t immediately fall in love with Michael Vartan on Never Been Kissed (or Alias for that matter)? Guilty. Never Been Kissed was a seemingly hilarious romantic comedy with two amazing leads cast and no one can forget when Josie (played by Drew Barrymore) had that epic dance on that stage after eating some very “special” brownies. It was one of my favorite movies growing up but it had two glaring issues that younger generations did not quite capture the impact of at the time of watching. The aspect that seems highly problematic when we look back at it is that Josie’s high school teacher seems to be interested in her even when he believes she’s a minor. In reality she is thankfully not, as she is an adult journalist pretending to be a high school student, but the fact that he hit on her even and disclosed his feelings even while thinking she is is quite shady. And bizarrely, her brother is literally dating a high school student and it is a running “joke” how this high schooler wants to lose her virginity to him (no backstory to even explain that one there)! Two facts we seem to have overlooked as viewers — and looking back, it can definitely give one the creeps and understandably so.
13 Going on 30The plot and execution of this beloved movie on the surface is mostly hilarious. A young girl gets to experience what she will be like when she’s older when she’s thrust into the body and dream career as her 30-year-old self. Chaos ensues and she reunites with her true love so she can make the right decisions when she goes back to her teenage self. So far so good — except Jennifer Garner’s character Jenna is still unmistakably a 13-year-old in a 30-year-old body navigating adult situations, exposed to things she definitely should not be exposed to and kissing the grown adult version of her best friend, Matt. A bit problematic when we think about it more deeply.
American BeautyApart from the fact that it features the problematic Kevin Spacey (I may have to go into the witness protection program after writing this), the plotline of this film is pretty sinister and that is clear no matter what era you watched it in. A middle-aged 40-something suburban dad, Lester, falls for his teenage daughter’s best friend, Angela, while his wife is painted as shrill and domineering. Rather than coping with his mid-life crisis by going to therapy, he decides to indulge in his inappropriate and predatory fantasies. This is one of the movies in this list where we aren’t even sure why it was ever a movie people enjoyed in the first place.
Sixteen CandlesThis “classic” coming-of-age film definitely has many problematic aspects in hindsight. Ted spends most of the movie sexually harassing and violating girls he likes. Long Duk Dong, the foreign exchange student that comes to stay with Sam’s grandparents, is mocked with rudely racist jokes. When Jake tells Ted that he can do whatever he wants to his passed out girlfriend and says he could violate her in ten different ways if he wanted to, it gives viewers now the major ick. Honestly, all of those plotlines should have been flagged as problematic regardless of what generation was watching it. Another similarly “beloved” movie that promotes rape culture is Grease, centered around a “boys will be boys” mentality with Sandy, the main character, almost being assaulted in a car by her boyfriend Danny.
Pretty WomanPretty Woman is essentially a twisted fairytale where a street-smart escort by the name of Vivian (played by Julia Roberts) is wooed into a life of luxury and romance by cutthroat businessman Edward (played by Richard Gere). Viewers loved this movie because of the intense chemistry between the two characters, but the movie actually had a much darker original ending intended for it meant to show the unfiltered reality of Vivian’s work. The problematic parts of this movie most come into play when we consider the scene where Edward tells Vivian that he doubts she hasn’t felt this cheap before when she tells him she feels like he made her feel cheap. This is after she suffers an attempted sexual assault by his business associate when he learns what she does for a living. Quite the low blow in a vulnerable situation, and the coupling is still based on a power imbalance where Vivian needs Edward’s money to survive, making it pretty problematic than romantic.
The NotebookThe Notebook is touted as one of the greatest romance movies of all time and it’s understandable why, but Allie and Noah definitely had a whirlwind romance that was filled with red flags in the beginning. Noah threatens to kill himself in a grand “romantic” gesture by hanging off a Ferris wheel when Allie refuses to go on a date with him and basically coerces her into going out. Their explosive fights feel more toxic than romantic. While the film has its romantic aspects mainly in the longevity of their relationship and it is understandable why fans still love this movie, these red flags are often overlooked or minimized by viewers which can teach younger generations to romanticize aspects that in real life would escalate to emotional abuse.
We often hear people talking about “daddy issues” in women but not much has been said about men with mommy issues. Here are five red flags you’re dating a man whose villain origin story — or sassy spoiled man story — began with his issues around his mama that he never bothered to look at or heal closely. There’s no shame in having mother wounds — but if you’re dealing with a man like this who doesn’t hold himself accountable for getting help or healing (or grew up spoiled and coddled) like many women do when confronting their own childhood conditioning, it’s time to detach and reading the signs may just help you do so.
He has a shady enmeshment with his mother who takes pride in being a “boy mom” and who is jealous of any woman who comes into the picture.Creepy territorial mom alert! If you are dating a man whose mother seems to be his shadow and needs to be consulted in every decision he makes, he’s probably a mama’s boy and has mommy issues. Think Trey and Bunny MacDougal’s strange infantalizing relationship in Sex and the City. This type of man is likely to have Peter Pan syndrome because he never really grew up, was enabled to have women cater to him and will always choose his mama over his own wife and children, even in matters where it harms his significant other. Watch out. This future mother-in-law comes as a package deal and will forever be competing with you for the title of main woman — gross. Step away from your son, ma’am!
He has issues with entitlement and fails to actually get therapy or self-reflect. If you’re dating a man who expects his girlfriend to be his mother, at his every beck and call laboring for him, he may be a pampered little prince who thinks the world is centered around him, his needs, and protecting his ego, lashing out at anyone who threatens it. He may have grown up praised for breathing and reeks of entitlement — in fact he often expects princess treatment from the women he dates, huffing and puffing often about how women are diabolical and take advantage even though women at large are at greater risk for violence and exploitation in the dating world. His mother told him from a young age that his mediocrity was brilliance and never gave him consequences for his actions. Maybe even both parents coddled him and made him believe he deserved to have the best woman even if he fell short of being the ideal man. But he was the apple of mama’s eye and he expects his next girlfriend to be just like his mother, putting him on a pedestal no matter what he does or says. Yikes! Run now and forever protect your peace. Get yourself a high-quality man who treats and spoils you and courts you as you deserve and doesn’t use these issues as an excuse not to heal or get therapy.
He has a classic case of Madonna-Whore syndrome.Perhaps his mother passed down her internalized misogyny to strengthen his already misogynistic attitudes toward women or maybe he puts women on a pedestal in unhealthy ways because he saw his mother as the ultimate pristine “Madonna,” (or on the opposite situation, if his mom cheated on his dad or was more sexually open, the “whore”) but for whatever reason, he can’t seem to get away from the dichotomy that separates a woman’s sexuality from her intelligence or worth as a person or come to embrace her multi-facetedness. To him, women fall in two categories: virgin or whore. You’ll notice this happening if you guys got wild between the sheets while you were first dating but he suddenly sexually withdrew when you became his girlfriend or wife — he cannot simultaneously respect you and have sexual attraction to you as wife and mother of his children because it’s a projection of his own mommy issues. He wants to maintain the image of you as “pure” when you’re in a commitment. It’s a weird phenomenon but it’s common among guys like these and sometimes it stems from mommy issues too.
He expects you to overly nurture and reassure him and cater to his every need. If he had an absent mother or even an overly involved mother, he wants you to fulfill the mother role and unjustly puts that responsibility on you to fulfill the needs only a nurturing parent can. He demands excessive reassurance and may be possessive and controlling of your time and energy, asking you to take time and energy away from your goals and friendships to take care of him emotionally or even help him with his career and finances. He wants you to cook and clean for him and do his laundry like his mama. Tell him to get a maid, therapist, and some independence pronto. Women do enough labor in this world without sacrificing their dreams to cater to a man that society has already set up with plenty of privileges. Whether this stems from mommy issues, daddy issues, or narcissistic traits, the advice here is still the same: see it as a red flag to trust your instincts, detach from the relationship and nurture yourself by enforcing healthy boundaries.
He has sexist attitudes and resentment toward women.This one is less mommy issues and more deep narcissism and misogyny issues, but it may also be strengthened by his own misdirected rage at his mother which may not even be warranted in some cases. Perhaps he was abandoned by a deadbeat dad and unfairly blamed this on the mother that actually stayed and cared for him and resented being dependent on a woman for survival, growing up to despise women and take out his insecurities on them. Or maybe he felt like his mother betrayed his father in some way and now he projects that distrust into every woman he meets rather than actually getting help for his issues. Whatever the case may be, it’s not your burden to bear or problem to solve. Women get therapy all the time to heal these wounds — men can do it too.
As much as we might wish otherwise, break-ups remain an inevitable part of life, with almost everyone experiencing heartbreak at some point in their romantic relationships. Whether you’ve spent days, weeks, months, or years with your significant other, the prospect of saying goodbye to our romantic counterpart is never easy, evoking all kinds of turbulent emotional responses.
As hard as it is to bid farewell to that special person we hold near and dear to our hearts, break-ups don’t exactly equal the end of life itself. In some cases, something potentially positive can come from the end of a relationship, be it a chance to pursue a long-standing creative goal or a happier, healthier relationship with a more suitable partner. While dealing with a break-up is always a struggle, these romantic comedies make the ordeal all the more bearable, helping viewers come to terms with their conflicting emotions in a poignant and relatable way.
(500) Days of Summer (2009)Fox SearchlightIt doesn’t matter how much advice you receive from others: navigating life following a debilitating break-up is a lonely road, typically taking you through every stage of grief as you process the end of your relationship. Dramatizing this process in a heartrending and accurate manner, (500) Days of Summer takes viewers on an emotional journey through a cathartic young romance. As humorous as it is thoughtful, (500) Days of Summer asks us to look at every facet of our past relationships, equally reflecting on the good moments along with the bad.
Annie Hall (1977)United ArtistsPerhaps the finest illustration of a romantic entanglement in cinematic history, Annie Hall shows the evolution of a relationship from the couples’ awkward first flirtations up to their final farewells together. Throughout it all, Annie Hall underscores the fundamental growth we experience thanks to our partners, influencing our larger outlooks on life in ways we never could have imagined possible.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)Universal PicturesAs most people will readily admit, getting randomly dumped by your longtime partner is unlike any other feeling in the world, second only to the loss of a relative or having a beloved family pet suddenly run away. As hard as it is to grapple with the abrupt dissolution of a relationship, Forgetting Sarah Marshall teaches us that it is indeed possible to move on from said heartbreak. Whether taking a spontaneous trip to Hawaii or finally sitting down to write a Dracula-themed puppet rock opera, life always manages to roll forward, putting us one step closer to the next true love in our lives.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)Focus FeaturesAs we contend with the overwhelming wave of emotions that come with a break-up, there’s a decent chance that most people might wish to erase the memory of the other person from their mind completely. As tempting as that idea might seem, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind shows how horrific a mistake such a procedure would actually be. Yes, life might seem depressing following the end of a relationship, but Eternal Sunshine asks viewers to savor every little memory they’ve formed with their lover, good and bad alike.
La La Land (2016)LionsgateNot every break-up has to involve a dramatic blowout, concluding with both sides of the couple screaming at one another until they’re red in the face. In the case of a movie like La La Land, for instance, a break-up can be a far more emotional affair, with each individual agreeing to end the relationship for their mutual benefit. Though a bitter pill for some people to swallow, films like La La Land emphasize the profound importance a partner holds in our lives, even after they’ve said goodbye and gone their separate ways.
Casablanca (1942)Warner Bros.A classic from the Golden Age of Hollywood, Casablanca teaches us all to enjoy the little moments of a relationship–especially those doomed to failure. In any other place at any other point in time, Humphrey Bogart’s Rick and Ingrid Bergman’s Ilsa could have lived out an ideal life together, settling down in the opulence of a war-free Paris. As it is, time and their individual circumstances simply weren’t on their side, but as Rick fondly tells Ilsa by means, “We’ll always have Paris,” encouraging us all to look back at the positive memories of a romance rather than lamenting the loss of a loved one.
Everyone loves a good rom-com. We can all agree that most are a little cheesy and unrealistic, but the guilty pleasure aspect draws us into the storyline. Whether it’s a will-they-won’t-they story, a forbidden lovers story, or a tumultuous love story that seems never to give up, we can appreciate the warm fuzzies that a rom-com typically gives us by the end. There’s nothing quite like yelling “Kiss them!” at your screen and cheering on the happy ending for that serotonin boost needed by the end of the week. However, for the sake of real-life purposes, I think we can all agree that your favorite rom-com probably has given you some really bad relationship advice. Out of all my minutes and hours of watching rom-coms to heal a sad heart, here are the four things that I’ve learned I should never do in a relationship.
Don’t Change Who You Are for AnyoneOne of the first movies that comes to mind when I think about changing yourself for someone else is She’s All That. If you’re unfamiliar, popular jock Zach (Freddie Prinze Jr.) makes a bet that he can make the nerdy Laney (Rachael Leigh Cook) into a popular girl. There are already so many red flags about this situation, but we will look past those obvious ones and dig at a deeper issue here. Laney starts to become someone she isn’t Throughout the first half of the movie, she stands up for herself (meekly, but still), has her own unique style, likes what she likes, and is a loyal friend. Through the course of dating Zach, she slowly starts to become someone she doesn’t recognize. She blows off her friends and takes on the role of being Zach’s popular girlfriend, even down to dressing differently in order to be well-liked. Eventually, Laney realizes that she changed for someone who didn’t have good intentions to start with and that she would’ve been better off being exactly who she is. The moral here is that if you are being 100% authentic in yourself, you’ll attract the right people instead of the people who like you but only if you fit their ideal. Be weird, march to the beat of your own drum, and all the other cliches that encompass being yourself. You’ll find the person who loves every aspect of your eccentricities instead of forcing you to adjust them.
Don’t Chase Someone Who Treats You PoorlyIn He’s Just Not That Into You, the film starts with a young girl who is being told the boy on the playground is mean to her because he likes her. This is such a toxic trope in a rom-com that needs to be tossed straight into the garbage. Because of this type of conditioning when the girl is younger, she grows up to chase emotionally unavailable men who are obviously not interested in her. Some rom-coms tell us that we should chase someone harder when they’ve made it clear they don’t like us just in case they change their minds. Many times in the movie, the person being chased ends up being pretty nasty and treating the chasee poorly, but we are told that is all part of playing the game. This is so far from the truth and if someone shows you they don’t like you and shows you who they are, believe them. You wouldn’t want to force someone to change at your expense (see above), so it’s best to cut your losses and focus on fostering a relationship of mutual enjoyment and like.
Don’t Romanticize ConflictThe Notebook is regarded as one of the most romantic and cutesy rom-coms on the scene. The ending is sad and the love story is simultaneously heartwarming and wrenching, but the one problematic part of the whole movie is how much fighting occurs between Allie (Rachel McAdams) and Noah (Ryan Gosling). There are many scenes where the two are shown yelling and screaming at each other, even so far as to see Allie hitting Noah in the chest. These two eventually work out their problems, but while they’re young, the conflict is high. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be conflict in a relationship, but solving that conflict by yelling and screaming at each other doesn’t display a very solid foundation of communication that a relationship desperately needs. It’s okay to be frustrated, it’s okay to be angry, but romanticizing that a relationship NEEDS two people to be yelling at each other to have a deep connection is inherently off. It’s not passion as many have argued, it’s a lack of respect and emotional maturity between the partners.
Don’t Begin a Relationship With a LieThis should be a given, but building a relationship on a lie doesn’t turn out as well as the movies will tell you. Take How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days as a great example. Andie (Kate Hudson) and Ben (Matthew McConaughey) are two business professionals who think they have the skills to pull off the impossible. Andie is a dating advice columnist and is tasked to research how you can make a man leave you in 10 days. Ben is bet that he can make any woman fall in love with him in 10 days. So, you can see the challenge each is up to with these opposing goals. Over the course of the film, the two eventually start to fall for each other, but as soon as things get really good the two figure out that they were set up to fail. Despite lying directly to each other about who they are, what they like, and what they don’t like for an extended period of time, the two end up together in the end. I can assure you, if you lie about everything you are in a relationship in the real world, it’s unlikely that the relationship will continue and it shouldn’t. Lies can only be kept up for so long, and big lies of that nature have no place in a positive relationship.
Much like in television, we tend to find narcissistic characters in movies entertaining and captivating. In real life, however, their traits and behaviors would be far more harmful and destructive. Here are nine of the most narcissistic characters in movie history.
Arthur Fleck in The Joker Interestingly, researchers have already begun analyzing the narcissistic and psychopathic traits present in the character of Arthur Fleck otherwise known as the Joker. They note how his excessive need for admiration as a stand-up comedian and obsession with women who don’t reciprocate his affections, along with his tendency to murder people and lash out when grandiose fantasies of success and brilliance aren’t met are key features of narcissism that stand out in this character.
Kathryn Merteuil from Cruel IntentionsBoth narcissistic and psychopathic, Kathryn Merteuil is the charismatic puppeteer who interferes in the lives of others to one-up them for power and control. This includes seducing her stepbrother Sebastian Valmont, placing a bet that encourages him to “deflower” the innocent daughter of the headmaster, Annette Hargrove, and also sabotaging Cecille, a young woman her ex-boyfriend pursued as retaliation. She becomes possessive and enraged when she realizes Sebastian is falling in love with Annette and it is clear she views him as a possession and toy to be played with.
Patrick Bateman from American PsychoAlthough Patrick may be having vivid hallucinations rather than committing real life crimes (it’s unclear because he’s an unreliable narrator), it is clear that elements of the character can be read as narcissistic and psychopathic. A successful Harvard business graduate and wealthy investment banker on Wall Street who appears to lead the double life of a sadistic serial killer and sex addict who routinely cheats on his fiancé, Bateman exhibits many narcissistic and psychopathic traits that make him a dangerous person, even if his murders do turn out to be illusions of his mind.
Regina George from Mean GirlsRegina is another female narcissist who loves pitting people against one another. Head of the “mean girls” group The Plastics, she targets and scapegoats an attractive formerly home-schooled new classmate, Cady Heron, out of jealousy and envy when notices Cady is receiving more attention than she is including from her own boyfriend. She often spreads rumors and engages in relational aggression to degrade the people who threaten her power and status and set them up for sabotage, as female narcissists are prone to do.
Amy Dunne from Gone Girl While modern audiences may sympathize with Amy’s circumstances as a wife who is ultimately cheated on and underappreciated, there’s no doubt Amy Dunne is a narcissistic and psychopathic character who (spoilers ahead) carefully sets up her husband for her own “murder” as revenge and brutally murders an ex-boyfriend as part of her plot to return to him. This is one calculated narcissistic psychopath you never want to mess with.
Miranda Priestley from the Devil Wears PradaMiranda is the poster child for the narcissistic boss. She is contemptuous, condescending, arrogant and lacks empathy for her employees, often bullying them to do her bidding and sadistically giving them impossible tasks, moving the goal posts so she can hypercriticize others.
Lord Voldemort from the Harry Potter SeriesIn pursuit of world domination? Check. A lack of empathy for and aggression against the most vulnerable? Check. Lord Voldemort epitomizes narcissism and psychopathy in his grandiose pursuit of power and murders countless people in his dark reign, literally splitting his soul into parts from the acts of evil he has committed to maintain immortality. Even as Tom Riddle, a young foster boy, he displayed cruelty to animals and people, traits associated with psychopathy.
Darth Vader from Star WarsSimilar to Lord Voldemort, Darth Vader underwent a transformation from Anakin Skywalker to Sith Lord, but his transformation was far more nuanced and he is a rare case of a malicious character who redeems himself. He gave into the temptation of evil despite having an initially kind-hearted nature after traumatic circumstances, becoming a ruthless leader of the Galactic Empire and is described as “more machine than man,” but his loyalty to his son brings out the old Anakin and he is able to rescue his son from the Emperor.
Catherine Trammel in Basic InstinctIn Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone plays Catherine Tramell, a crime novelist and millionaire heiress whose crimes are reflected in her novels but who manages to evade prison through her calculated lies. Seductive, manipulative, thrill-seeking and prone to pathological lying, Catherine remains one of the most narcissistic and psychopathic characters in film history.
The ton is not OK. By that, I mean that homophobes and literary purists alike are complaining about Season 4 of Bridgerton even though it hasn’t been written yet. Why, you ask? Because of one character’s gender being swapped. Fans of the original Bridgerton books are not loving the Season 3 reveal that the original book character of Michael Stirling is now a woman, Michaela, in the show. After all, this means that Francesca and Michaela might hook up, just as Francesca did with Michael in the source novel When He Was Wicked. Lord forbid! As if Bridgerton were the first adaptation in history to have changed its source text, ruining the lives of tens of Internet commentators.
Still, Bridgerton trudges on, and Season 4 will deliver us a new power couple. But who? As someone who has not read one Bridgerton novel, I now present my predictions/wishes for who should make out next.
The obvious couple: Francesca and MichaelaI am not a Bridgerton purist, and I literally can’t be since I’ve never read any of the books. Also, I am not a homophobe. Both of these facts make me the perfect person to not care that Francesca and Michaela might hook up. Plus, did y’all see how Francesca’s jaw practically dropped to the floor, Looney Tunes style, when Michaela introduced herself? Clearly, this is a woman who’ll pry Francesca out of her shell – and a ton of us would like to see it.
The overdue couple: Violet Bridgerton and Lord AndersonViolet deserves some time off to go on a fabulous vacation with this mysterious hunk. She’s married off half of her children, after all! Isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t there be a minimum number of married-off children that a Regency woman hits before qualifying for retirement? Or is it more of a “years served” situation? Either way, Violet deserves a break. Maybe Daphne can come back and watch the kids next season while Mom blacks out next to a pool in Cornwall.
The surprise couple: Benedict Bridgerton and the guy who invented the hot air balloon Bridgerton seemed to be teasing a throuple between Benedict Bridgerton, Lady Arnold, and Paul Suarez, and then pulled away at the last minute, freeing Benedict to stick his Bene-dict elsewhere. However, since he’s happily queer now, he might as well explore that untapped side of himself. What better place to start than the place where it all started? Obviously, I’m talking about that hot air balloon party. Maybe Benedict will look back on that day when he met Lady Arnold and realize that there was another person, the inventor of the hot air balloon, who had been watching and waiting this whole time, hoping that Benedict would realize that he had done all of this – the inventing, the unveiling, the accidental release of the balloon, the ensuing chaos, the near-involuntary manslaughter of Penelope – for him.
The literary couple: Eloise Bridgerton and Mary Shelley, acclaimed writer of FrankensteinHistory says that Frankenstein author Mary Shelley was bisexual, and Twitter says that fictional character Eloise Bridgerton should be bisexual. They’re the perfect match! Also, they’re alive around the same time, and maybe the same age, too. (I’m not clear on Eloise’s age anymore … She’s supposed to be a young adult, right? But as of June 2024, the actress playing her, Claudia Jessie, is 34? But I guess we’ve all decided to overlook that?) Anyway, Eloise and Mary would have a lot of books to argue about, and they could theoretically meet by accident in a Scottish forest while on separate solitary nature walks.
The physically attractive outcast couple: Cressida and the blonde traveling vegan that Penelope rejectedBoth of these people ended Season 3 unattached and physically distant from the ton. Maybe Sir Vegan’s travels will lead him to research ancient stone circles in Wales, placing him in close proximity to the equally blonde Cressida, with whom he shared a flirtation at the beginning of Season 3. As he is an 18th century version of a travel influencer – he’s even vegan, a very influencer-y trait – he’ll prove very alluring to budding hair stylist Cressida, who has honestly been through enough already. Give them a break! (But make this happen off screen, please.)
The age gap couple: Lady Danbury and Prince Basic Like Violet, Lady Danbury deserves a romance of her own. Yes, she got one in Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, but that was technically years ago. It’s time for this Lady to spread her wings and catch herself a sexy young thing. I’m talking about Prince Basic, the hottie with the body who Francesca rejected in favor of Lord Music. Prince Basic will be hurt, confused, and desperate after Francesca’s rejection of him – and what better person to sooth his ego than the matron of the ton? Bring it on. Now I’m excited for Season 4!
In June 1994, The Lion King roared its way into theaters and delivered life-changing lessons to the audience.
Thirty years ago, Disney’s The Lion King ripped out our hearts and put them in a blender. Children (and parents) remain haunted by the cute lion cub Simba bawling his eyes out and nudging his father, Mufasa, to get up, when everyone knew the great lion was done for. Despite the ugly tears and the unforgettable music that’s animation’s version of Creed’s Human Clay (because it’s the greatest album of all time, duh), The Lion King deserves its place in cinema’s hall of fame for the life lessons it taught us. Since the world sucks right now, it’s as good a time as any to revisit the classic movie and all its sage advice.
Respect everyoneMufasa and the lions sit at the top of the food chain, but the wise king imparts a valuable lesson to young Simba. “Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance,” he says. “As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.” He sums it up by explaining it’s the circle of life – an ecosystem where every element coexists and plays a crucial role in keeping it all together. The lion ain’t lyin’ either.
Too often, people treat others who they deem to be beneath them inferiorly, or only suck up to those who could provide them a stepping stone. Instead, it should be about applying a baseline of respect to every person one encounters on this wild and wacky journey as a traveling meatsack. At the end of the day, we’re all trying to navigate life on this spinning rock in space, so why make it more difficult than it needs to be?
You’re never aloneLosing a loved one hurts. It burns in every fiber of the soul, and the feeling never goes away entirely. However, that doesn’t mean the person vanishes from the mind. When Rafiki tells Simba to look in the water to find his father, Simba does so but says it’s only his reflection. Rafiki reminds him, though: “He lives in you.” This proves to be an important reminder that the memories of a special someone never fade; they’re always there and a thought away.
Tied to this is the fact that there will always be other people ready to help and hold our hands through the darkest times. No matter how alone or isolated we feel, every single one of us matters and there’s someone out there who cares for us. Our own personal Rafiki or Nala, so to speak.
Family doesn’t have to be bloodWhen Simba runs away from the Pride Lands, he meets Timon and Pumbaa, who quickly become his best friends. However, they’re more than pals; they’re family. The smaller animals help Simba when he decides to reclaim his throne, even though there’s the real risk they could get eaten by the hyenas. They don’t owe Simba a thing here, since they effectively raised and took care of him for years – yet, they do so out of a sense of brotherhood for him.
Think about it this way: Knowing how lions breed, Simba probably has a bunch of other brothers and sisters hanging about Pride Rock, but they never ventured out to look for him – not even once. Instead, they believed Scar’s lies, and he appears to be about as trustworthy as a politician on a campaign trail. It’s Simba’s makeshift family who steps up when it matters most, and that’s something a lot of us can relate to. It isn’t always blood who supports blood, but it’s the people who become family along the way.
Don’t forget to have a good timeNot only do Timon and Pumbaa provide Simba with a home, but they also instill the principle of “Hakuna matata” in him, which means “no worries” or “no troubles.” It might seem impossible to achieve in life, especially with the escalating cost of living and world leaders two steps shy of instigating nuclear warfare; however, it’s a mindset that everyone should strive toward. After all, life is short, so why not dig it and embrace its best offerings?
Without a shadow of a doubt, Simba’s time with Timon and Pumbaa is rife with extraordinary memories and belly-aching laughs. They played, indulged in all the finer insects on offer, and slept under the stars every evening. These are the happy moments he’ll tell his children about one day as he cherishes all the fun he had. Sure, acknowledge and be honest about the bad times, but don’t forget to appreciate the good as it comes around every so often.
Forgive yourselfScar deceives Simba into believing he killed Mufasa. Even though Simba knows he didn’t trample all over his father or sink his claws into his paws, he feels indirectly responsible for what happened. It’s understandable, as guilt proves to be a natural reaction toward death and the heart tries to bargain with the mind. It takes Simba a long time, and a conversation with his father’s spirit, but he finally learns to forgive himself – for Mufasa’s death and running away. When this happens, he frees himself from the pain, and readies himself to return and claim his birthright.
Similarly, Simba’s lesson strikes a cord with everyone watching. Whether a painful event is self-created or merely an unlucky tragedy, it’s crucial to let go of the guilt eating up the soul and to forgive oneself. If airports charge for baggage, why lug it around for free throughout your entire life, right?
The hyenas will turn on everyoneHyenas are opportunistic animals – and in The Lion King, they align themselves with Scar, as he promises them the chance to scavenge and hunt throughout the Pride Lands. In the end, though, the hyenas turn on Scar and tear him apart. So, what’s the lesson here? Hyenas can’t be trusted.
In life, the proverbial hyenas are everywhere. They’re the friends or family who only show up when they need something, or realize something is on offer. Here’s the thing, though: They’re only there when it suits them. Inevitably, they will move on to the better offer or find another sucker to mooch off. Consequently, it’s best to keep a close eye on the critters and to not trust them. Throw a bone at them and run in the other direction. Let them hang out with the Scars of the world; they deserve each other.
Sometimes the charmingly handsome guy you fall in love with is actually a demon and the source of all evil – and other wild love lessons tv show Charmed got right about modern dating and toxic relationships.Growing up, Charmed was one of my favorite shows. When it first aired, it gained a huge viewership and cult following because even the first few episodes were just that good. Even to this day, I rewatch it periodically because it is so mesmerizing and fun, and every episode introduces some riveting new plotline or spell. Who doesn’t love the badass Halliwell sisters? The show was the perfect homage to sisterhood, true love, reclaiming your power and overcoming your demons (literally and figuratively speaking). It’s an exquisitely made show, and although primarily supernatural, its plotlines about love, relationships, career, and self-discovery can serve as metaphors that nail modern dating and toxic relationships even today. Here are the top three lessons it taught us about toxic love, true love and self-love that still ring true today.
Sometimes you fall in love with a secret demon with a hidden agenda that is secretly source of all evil and you’ll have to “vanquish” him from your life – and it’s probably best to heed the red flags and warnings of others, and not to go with him down to the underworld and become his wife. In real-life terms, you may fall in love with a narcissistic or toxic person who wears a false mask and be forced to make numerous sacrifices and hide your relationship from those who care about you – if so, this is a good sign you need to stop investing in the relationship. If we’re seeing underworld as a metaphor for the dark pit of despair that is a toxic relationship and demon as a stand-in for “toxic person,” the show nailed it on the consequences of falling in love with someone who is very much incompatible with you. As the second longest relationship on the show, Phoebe and Cole’s forbidden romance as powerful Halliwell witch and Balthazor, a legendary demon, sure taught us a lot about the consequences of being in a relationship with someone who wears a false mask. Cole is sent on a mission by the Triad to kill the Halliwell sisters, and in doing so, he targets Phoebe as the youngest and most vulnerable sister, feigning romantic interest in her so he can make the sisters powerless. While Prue does catch Cole in a trap meant to lure in the demon and Leo also tells Phoebe Cole is half-demon when he’s unable to heal him properly, Phoebe denies what is right in front of her and minimizes the incident, reminding us to always trust the red flags and what your friends and family are telling you about your toxic partner, if they have no reason to lie. Since Cole is also half-human, Phoebe’s love appears to tap into his human side eventually despite the initial ruse, and he proves his love for her by defending her against a demonic bounty hunter. Phoebe has to keep their relationship a secret and hide it from her loved ones, and later even ends up becoming his Queen in the underworld and almost gives birth to the source of all evil when she becomes pregnant. Cole switches back and forth from his light and dark side so many times it gives us emotional whiplash. In real-life terms, it’s never a good sign when you have to hide your chaotic relationship from those who love you and make so many sacrifices just to maintain a toxic relationship. This is more of a trauma bond than true romance.
Your true soulmate will choose you, over and over again, and if anything does keep you apart, it’s circumstances rather than compatibility in a healthy relationship. Perhaps there’s no more romantic couple on the show than Piper and Leo, a match made in heaven (literally). Leo is a Whitelighter who protects the Halliwell sisters from harm and heals them when they are attacked. Pretending to be their handyman, Piper and Leo fall in love, but it’s another forbidden romance as Whitelighters aren’t supposed to entangle themselves romantically with the witches they are sent to protect. These two are wildly compatible and destined to be together and it’s clear from the way they treat each other that they are willing to choose each other’s best interests. Both are willing to make the sacrifices to be with each other – Leo is willing to clip his wings to be with Piper, but Piper is willing to let the relationship go so Leo can continue his healing work as a Whitelighter. It’s important to note that in this long-standing relationship, this is a rare case where it is not a lack of compatibility but rather circumstances that keep them apart. Most toxic relationships would not stand the test of time, but theirs persists because it is based on a healthy foundation. Even as Piper gets involved in other relationships with mortals, her feelings for Leo persist, and she ultimately keeps choosing Leo over any new love interest and they begin a family together. When Whitelighter Chris comes back from the future (spoiler alert: he is actually their future child) to protect them and the Halliwells are turned into Greek Goddesses and Leo becomes an Elder (with the help of his love for Piper), Leo and Piper are forced to hit pause in their relationship and Piper’s memory is erased to save her the pain. However, even when circumstances keep them apart, their love is so strong that they inevitably reunite.
In the search for true love, don’t forget self-discovery, self-love, and personal growth.The Halliwell sisters go through difficult self-transformation as they navigate their inner demons, literal demons, and romantic relationships and as they come into their own, both as witches and as mortals. Whether it’s Piper turning into a Greek Goddess who wreaks havoc on the mortal world, unleashing her rage due to Leo being taken away from her or transforming into a Valkyrie in her time in Valhalla, or Phoebe turning into a banshee due to her heartbreak from Cole or going on a mystical vision quest that reveals the future that awaits her at The Magic School, or becoming a famous advice columnist based on her own relationship experiences, these powerful sisters go through beautiful, brutal, and at times supernatural periods of self-discovery as they reconnect with their authentic grief and anger – as well as renew their sense of hope as they pursue their ambitions and goals. These otherworldly transformations serve as metaphors for how people inevitably change due to their experiences of falling in love, becoming entangled in toxic relationships, and highlights the process of healing and moving forward, looking toward the future and chasing your dreams. Spoiler alert: the Charmed sisters do get their happy endings. But part of these happy endings include them willing to embrace their full inner power, goals outside of relationships and choose themselves, healing and transforming themselves and go on a journey to self-discovery of lessons learned, to invite even more magic into all aspects of their charmed lives.
Keep your Batfleck and Battinson, because Michael Keaton’s Batman is still the greatest Caped Crusader of all time.
Comic book movies changed in June 1989 with the release of Tim Burton’s Batman, starring Michael Keaton as the titular character and the indomitable Jack Nicholson as the Joker. While most fans might point to Richard Donner’s Superman as the defining film of the genre, Batman showed the mature potential of these characters, appealing to both young and old. Bat-mania took over the world, resulting in a godsend soundtrack provided by Prince, sequels, an animated series, more merch than common sense. First and foremost, though, the film gave audiences the quintessential Batman in the form of Keaton.
But what makes him so special and able to transcend generations? Let’s take a look.
No one gave him the chance in hellJust like drivers drive, actors act. However, there’s a segment of the audience who forgets this key detail. For them, a performer is solely associated with one role, and that’s that. Case in point: Michael Keaton. When he was cast as the Dark Knight, the fan reaction was: “Mr. Mom is Batman?!” Now, remember, this was an era before it was all too easy to jump onto the computer, create a hashtag, and send hate mail to executives and actors across multiple platforms, so people had to show their ire the good old-fashioned way: Via snail mail. Over 50,000 protest letters were sent to Warner Bros. about the casting of Keaton in Batman, pleading and begging for everyone to see the error of their ways and to avoid disaster.
Warner Bros.Regardless, the studio didn’t capitulate to the mob’s demands. Burton and the crew stuck to their guns, putting their faith in Keaton as an actor – because why wouldn’t they? He’s an actor for Krypton’s sake! No one could have predicted the level of success that followed, though. Critics and fans raved about Batman, which became the highest-grossing film of 1989 and made superheroes cool on the big screen again. The best part? Keaton made the naysayers eat every word they printed in their protest letters to Warner Bros. As The Hollywood Reporter wrote: “Keaton delivers an especially impressive and deeply nuanced characterization.”
Keaton worried about Bruce Wayne – not BatmanThere’s a part of the comic book fandom that sees Batman as the true self and Bruce Wayne as the mask. Keaton sees it the other way around, though. Speaking to GQ, Keaton said, “I never thought about Batman. It was always Bruce Wayne. Who’s Bruce Wayne? You start with that.” As Keaton explained, Bruce sees his parents gunned down in front of him as a child, deeply affecting his psyche and thirst for vengeance. His story becomes about exploring that aspect of the character and what the agony does to him. The suit acts as an extension of his trauma – not a direct separation.
Warner Bros.This is something that many actors haven’t been able to master, as they try to portray two different characters on screen à la less nefarious versions of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. However, Keaton’s portrayal brings a subtle humanity to both Bruce and Batman as he creates a unified persona. Of course, he’s brooding and consumed with protecting Gotham City and honoring a vow he made to his parents a long time ago, but he’s still a flesh-and-blood human being underneath it all – Keaton’s Batman feels pain, heartache, and joy. It’s those small moments where Bruce brings levity or falls for Selina Kyle that connect him with the audience. Yeah, he’s Batman, but he isn’t an emotionless putz who is incapable of doing anything else except hemorrhaging criminals’ brains.
Michael Keaton’s Batman deserves a better send-off than The FlashAndy Muschietti’s The Flash sold itself as a multiversal epic to cap off the previous era of DC films and pave the way for the future. Instead, it’s much ado about frustratingly nothing, and what most people remember from it are the ghastly CGI sequences and George Clooney’s cringe-worthy Batman cameo. The only bright spot in this movie that went through Warner Bros.’s meatgrinder of filmmaking-by-committee is Keaton’s Batman. Even three decades later, he still knows how to nail all the emotional beats of the character and outshines all the other Dark Knight actors in The Flash.
Keaton was set to reprise his role in Batgirl, but after the rough cut of the film was taken into a witness protection program, it’s unlikely he’ll ever appear in a DC movie again. Pity. Especially since a live-action Batman Beyond movie is there for the taking, and it’s also the right time for Keaton to step into the role of the elder Bruce Wayne who mentors the next Dark Knight, Terry McGinnis. Equally important, it’s a respectful way to have the actor close the chapter on this character rather than die in a Groundhog Day-influenced scene like he did in The Flash. It’s not too late to make it happen – and it should – because Keaton’s Batman deserves to get nuts one last time.
Oh, the cyclical nature of Netflix. You put something in your queue with a plan to watch it soon and once you’re finally in the mood, it’s disappeared from the streaming service. But fret no longer! If you want to watch any of these killer movies, you should probably get to them before the end of June. As soon as July 1st rolls around, these movies will be leaving Netflix. We’ve got rom coms, horror, action, and more. Time for a watch party!
Annie (1982)Columbia PicturesLittle Orphan Annie’s whole life changes when she’s adopted by a loveable, wealthy man. This is by far the best version of this classic orphan story, made all the better by Carol Burnett, Bernadette Peters, and Tim Curry. (Seriously, you could watch this just for Tim Curry’s performance alone.) It also doesn’t hurt that the music is top-notch.
Top Secret! (1984)Paramount PicturesIf you’re looking for some classic 1980s Dad Humor, Top Secret! is the underrated and long-forgotten spy comedy you’ve been looking for. About a rockstar recruited to help the war efforts in East Germany, this has the wonderful distinction of being Val Kilmer’s very first acting role. It’s absurd, it’s weird, and it’s not to be taken seriously. And I mean that in all the best ways.
Footloose (1984)Paramount PicturesThis movie has everything–teens dancing as a way to rebel, falling in love with the new kid, and a great montage where Kevin Bacon teaches the late Chris Penn how to dance. Even if you don’t like romance or dancing, you’ll probably still find something to love about this movie–especially Chris Penn’s character, the loveable Willard.
The A Nightmare On Elm Street SeriesNew Line CinemaIf you’re in the mood for a dash of 1980s slasher horror, why not the A Nightmare on Elm Street series? Freddy Kreuger is spooky, hilarious, and, if he kills you in your dreams, you’ll die in real life. Netflix currently has the entire 8-film franchise, including the 2010 reboot, through the end of the month. (Unfortunately, they don’t have Freddy vs. Jason, which is a shame.) Since 8 movies is a lot to watch before July, I recommend watching A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 & 2MiramaxNothing beats a woman on a rampage–especially one so capable of killing literally anyone who gets in the way in the name of revenge. Uma Thurman shines and so does the rest of the female cast. If you need to feel like a badass, just watch Kill Bill.
28 Days (2000)Sony PicturesNo, not the zombie movie. We’re talking about the Sandra Bullock dramedy about a woman who refuses to admit that she’s an alcoholic even after she’s ordered to attend 28 days of rehab after ruining her sister’s wedding. Even though it came out over two decades ago, it’s an equal parts light and gritty look at addiction that still hits home.
The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesWhether you’re watching for the stereotypical rom com romance between Cameron Diaz and Jude Law or the slow-burn romance between Kate Winslet and Jack Black, you’ll find something you like in The Holiday. Maybe you’re just here for Eli Wallach’s Arthur, which I’d totally understand. Even though it’s not the holiday season, you might still want to watch this now before it leaves Netflix.
Yesterday (2019)Universal PicturesWhen Jack wakes up after an accident, everything seems totally normal except for one little thing: No one has ever heard of The Beatles. So of course this musician takes the opportunity and decides to “write” all the Beatles songs himself. But lying has consequences, doesn’t it? While this newer movie didn’t do that well in theaters, it’s actually surprisingly funny, sweet, and heartfelt.
The chemistry between lead actors in romance movies matters. Like…a lot. Because no matter how good an individual actor is, chemistry between two people cannot be faked. You just know when something is sincere.
Couples who have solid on-screen chemistry help make the film feel believable and enhance the love story. Good casting leads to better, more enjoyable films all-around. But mostly, it helps viewers connect with the couples on a more authentic level.
As such, here are five movie couples with truly electric on-screen chemistry.
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Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler (The Wedding Singer)You can’t talk about insane on-screen chemistry without mentioning Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, who starred alongside each other in the romantic comedy The Wedding Singer. In fact, the two even won an MTV Movie Award for “Best Kiss” in 1998 for the film! And Barrymore and Sandler’s chemistry was so undeniable they even starred together again in 50 First Dates in 2004, another romantic comedy.
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Eva Mendes and Will Smith (Hitch)The hit 2005 romantic comedy Hitch stars Will Smith as Alex “Hitch” Hitchens, a matchmaker who helps his clients overcome their fears and find love with the women of their dreams. Eva Mendes plays opposite Smith as Sara Melas, a gossip columnist for a New York City tabloid. The movie is not only hysterical but Eva and Will’s chemistry is palpable. They match each other’s energy in an incredibly organic, believable way.
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Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling (The Notebook)The Notebook is probably one of the most famous romance films ever made, and it’s beyond the screenplay. It really is about the sparks that fly between leads Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. I mean, that kiss in the rain on the dock? Truly iconic.
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Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio (Titanic)I mean, duh. In the blockbuster classic Titanic directed by James Cameron, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio’s draw to one another is nothing short of electric. Do I even need I mention the carriage scene? There’s a reason this movie is still considered one of the best after all of this time.
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Lana Condor and Noah Centineo (To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before)The breakout Netflix hit based on the YA series by Jenny Han, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before introduced the world to Noah Centineo as the totally charming, popular kid Peter Kavinski and Lana Condor as quiet hopeless romantic Lara Jean. It’s the chemistry between Centineo and Condor that make To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before such a fun watch.
Pixar doesn’t make movies–they make art.
Like all the best animation producers, Pixar Studios has earned renown for their complex, emotional, unapologetically original animated films, delighting audiences of every conceivable age and respective demographic.
Whether crafting an action movie about crime-fighting superheroes or a science fiction film about a dystopian near future, almost every Pixar movie comes equipped with its unique strengths and endearing qualities. Through this, the studio has managed to secure its coveted place at the center of pop culture, resting alongside other animation giants like Disney, DreamWorks, and Studio Ghibli as a dependable source of entertainment from decade to decade.
Toy Story (1995)Disney PixarIn many different ways, fans can practically describe Pixar as “the house that Toy Story built.” The feature-length debut from the fledgling animation producer, Toy Story set the standard for every Pixar movie that came after. Characterized by its polished 3D animation and layered storyline, few films have captured international audiences’ imagination to the same degree as Toy Story, establishing it in the same iconic category as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Akira, The Little Mermaid, and Spirited Away.
Up (2009)Disney PixarAny movie capable of making you uncontrollably sob within the opening 10 minutes is worthy of attention. See, for example, 2009’s Up, arguably the saddest Pixar films in the company’s history (which–given the studio’s output of tear-jerking films–is certainly saying something). While it might tug at the heart strings in more than a few places, Up also emphasizes the idea that age is just a number, with everyone capable of setting out on one last epic adventure while there’s time to do so.
Ratatouille (2007)Disney PixarYes, Ratatouille comes loaded with intricate food sequences that leave our mouths watering and our bellies rumbling. But it’s the endearing message at the heart of this 2007 masterpiece that defines Ratatouille‘s success. Overcoming stigmas related to his identity, background, and unassuming outward appearance, Remy’s undying passion for food perseveres, supporting the message espoused time and time again throughout Ratatouille: great art can truly come from anywhere.
WALL-E (2008)Disney PixarThere’s something so endearing about watching a lonely clean-up robot wander through Earth’s polluted wasteland, searching for life, meaning, and companionship in the ruins of a post-apocalyptic future. A Chaplin-esque comedy with a minimal use of dialogue and a powerful emphasis on heartfelt emotion, WALL-E’s beautiful narrative has the power to leave audiences weeping by the end of the film’s first act (a rare achievement most family films could only dream of accomplishing).
Finding Nemo (2003)Disney PixarThe ocean (like life itself) is populated by dangers and mysteries around every corner, leaving us all avidly worried about our loved ones every time they leave our sight. Dramatizing these worrisome fears in a tense and poignant way, Finding Nemo illustrates the wealth of challenges parents face as they learn to let their children live out their own lives. Encountering vegetarian sharks, philosophical sea turtles, and well-mannered pelicans, Finding Nemo’s Marlin is able to experience the wonders of the deep in his own distinct way, giving him a newfound appreciation for life and all the adventures that await.
Toy Story 3 (2010)Disney PixarIt’s not very often that the final movie in a trilogy matches the esteem of its predecessor. Yet with Toy Story 3, Pixar went above and beyond in terms of its cathartic main messages and gleaming animation. An emotional and existential comedy disguised as a high-stakes prison break film, Toy Story 3 offers a touching love letter to our collective imaginations, encouraging us all to accept the changes of adulthood as we leave the joys of childhood behind.
Inside Out (2015)Disney PixarIf there’s one message Pixar always returns to, it’s the idea of embracing change, glorying in the tiny moments that make up our everyday existence. As with each of the studio’s previous films, Inside Out returns to this idea in grand fashion, asking viewers to accept each thought that pops into our heads without ignoring or invalidating any of them. Finding a unique way to personify emotions, Inside Out gives a voice to every intricate feelings that dwells inside our minds, be it Amy Poehler’s overly enthusiastic Joy or Phyllis Smith’s endlessly lethargic Sadness.
Witch movies tend to follow certain tropes, even with unique plotlines, usually involving a bloodline or family line of witches, a special timeline for a witch to grow into her powers, and a struggle to balance the mundane and the magical, with battling demons and finding true love. The way magic is presented in movies can serve as a metaphor and be symbolic of our own inner power as viewers – the ability to transform our circumstances, have faith in ourselves, and alchemize even adversity into gold, can feel empowering. Now that we know that one of the most famous witch movies of all time, Practical Magic, is getting a possible sequel, it’s time to revisit all the movies that made us believe in the impossible and in ourselves. Here are seven of the best witch movies and television shows of all time, including Practical Magic, that will help you tap into your inner magic.
Charmed (Original and Reboot) Charmed gained a large cult following when it aired with its first episode, cleverly named, “Something Wicca This Way Comes.” The brilliant show follows the journey of three powerful Halliwell sisters as they come into the supernatural powers all while they tackle the normal challenges of love, work, and relationships as they struggle to keep their powers from interfering in their personal lives and fight demons who wreak havoc on mortals. The plots in each episode are complex, multilayered, and riveting, featuring everything from resurrected mythical Goddesses, unicorns and mermaids to a soul-sucking boyfriend who goes by the name Cole. The characters are extremely entertaining and fleshed out with witty banter as well. I may be biased as a long-time viewer and devout fan who rewatches it every few months, but Charmed is one of the best witchy television shows of all time, and its vibrant reboot (featuring a cast of badass women of color witches) is well worth a watch too!
Witches of East End Witches of East End begins with a remarkable twist. A woman is at her engagement party when her soon-to-be-husband’s brother arrives. He reminds her of dreams she’s had of past lives, and they start instinctively making out in the bathroom. This scandalous opening scene draws in viewers into wanting to learn more about why such a shocking rendezvous would ever occur, inviting us into the sacred world of the immortal Beauchamp family. Witches of East End is perfect for the viewer who wants to experience an intoxicating lushness and expansive dream world of witchcraft, spells, and a legacy of past lives. The story is focused on Ingrid and Freya Beauchamp, sisters are cursed to die young and be reborn again and again because they were banished from their realm Asgard. As they rediscover their witchy powers each new life in the mortal realm, they are protected by their mother Joanna from evil forces, who strives to hide the truth of their magic from them. However, their magic is revealed when their aunt Wendy comes to East End in their current lifetime. Each of the Beauchamp sisters has special gifts and magical talents that distinguish them. For example, Freya has the powers of premonition, and her magic is driven by her natural emotions, whereas Ingrid has the ability to move things with her mind.
The CraftThe Craft is one of the most famous witch movies of all time, and for good reason. When shy new student Sarah joins a coven of fellow witches, they experience both the blessings and the curse of holding so much power. As they use their newfound powers to get back at their enemies, heal scars, and even make people fall in love, they find themselves increasingly overcome with the height of their supernatural abilities. However, some witches are more power-hungry than others, while others are simply more powerful. This is what makes The Craft such a thrilling movie, because witches who use their powers for “good” (like casting a revenge obsession spell on a bully who spreads slut-shaming rumors about you) are made to temper the witches who take their power way too far (like Nancy). The Craft reminds us to be diligent about our search for power and rein in our ambitions to serve the greatest good and highest good. The Craft: Legacy, its sequel, is also a very compelling series, featuring a more diverse cast.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch If you’re looking for a less intensely dark witchy experience, Sabrina the Teenage Witch (both the original movie and the television series) are bound to cast a spell on you. Teenager Sabrina Spellman (played by the charming Melissa Joan Hart) comes into her powers on her sixteenth birthday and is now thrust into a double life as she balances high school with becoming a “licensed” witch. With her hilarious talking cat Salem and her lovely aunts Hilda and Zelda guiding her path, as well as her dreamy and loving boyfriend Harvey, the show is perfect for anyone who loves to have a good time watching witchy cinema but doesn’t want all the dark overtones. If you do want the dark overtones, however, be sure to check out The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, a dark twist on this series.
Practical MagicFeaturing a star-studded cast of Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, Practical Magic is another famous witch movie revolving around magical sisters Sally and Gillian Owens, who, too, are raised by their aunts. They are plagued by a centuries-long family curse which kills any man that they love. While Sally stays away from love and casts a love spell to tie her to a man with impossible traits so she can never truly fall in love, her sister Gillian runs headfirst toward it and ends up in an abusive relationship with Jimmy. The curse causes Sally to suffer loss when her aunts cast a love spell on her to marry Michael, only for him to die, and Sally is also driven to rescue her sister from Jimmy, who they accidentally murder with belladonna, only to resurrect him with a dark spirit. Thankfully for Sally, help is on the way in the form of her true love – none other than the investigator sent to solve the murder case. Chaos ensues, and so does a magic that threatens to challenge the tides of true love.
The Love WitchAmerican comedy horror film The Love Witch is a seductive and entrancing movie about witch Elaine Parks, played by Samantha Robinson, who moves to a town that is welcoming of witchcraft. Elaine is a powerful and destructive witch who uses her magic to seduce men into loving her and becoming obsessed with her, only to murder them afterward – including her former husband Jerry. To Elaine, no man is good enough nor can he ever love her enough. This movie appears to turn to the female gaze to comment on gender roles and expectations about love and romance, and the irony is that while Elaine can seduce men with her magic and her sexuality, initially giving her the illusion of power, she cannot fulfill her fantasy of fairytale love by weaponizing patriarchal objectification that relies on the male gaze, because such love is not always based on the foundation of mutual respect and a respect for a woman’s multifacetedness, and it will take more than a spell to cure that. The Love Witch is an intriguing witch movie that will make you think more about what true power is.
Teen Witch Teen Witch is a fun, lively, nostalgic film that will bring you back to simpler times (even if you technically weren’t born yet) of romance, high school, and first loves. Louise Miller is told by a seer, Serena, that she is a powerful witch who will develop powers on her sixteenth birthday (quite the popular trope in witch movies, it seems). When she is gifted with a mysteriously powerful amulet, she is able to make an obnoxious boy disappear and manifest her crush, Brad closer to her. Using a magical book of spells, Louise begins to harness her powers to become the most popular girl at school and become the apple of Brad’s eye. However, she ultimately learns that her authenticity – not her witchcraft – is where her true power lies.
So many romantic comedies feature women who need a man for them to feel whole. Maybe she needs a makeover by her crush like She’s All That or has to fail in order to finally start succeeding like Bridesmaids. It’s the “You complete me” of it all. While there’s nothing wrong with being a princess who wants to be saved or a flawed human with confidence issues, sometimes you’d prefer to see a strong leading lady so you can feel empowered. You’re in luck! Watch these empowering romantic comedies with some fierce leading ladies. I’ll even tell you exactly where to watch them.
Viva Las Vegas (1964)MGMUnlike most of the other Elvis movies, Viva Las Vegas doesn’t feature a meek ingenue who’s life only starts when she meets a hip-swiveling guitar player. Instead, the lead is played by the fiery Ann-Margaret–one of the only leading ladies to meet Elvis and say, “Nah, I’m good.” The rockstar has to earn it, as well he should. Watch Viva Las Vegas on Tubi.
Clueless (1995)Paramount PicturesCher is the popular girl in school, and while that would normally brand her a “mean girl,” she’s anything but. She’s sweet, she cares about the people around her, and she devotes her time to helping friends and teachers find love. So when she finally stumbles on it herself, you know it’s worth it. Watch Clueless on Paramount+.
Say Anything… (1989)20th Century FoxRather than a romance from the perspective of the leading lady, Say Anything… follows Lloyd Dobler as he works to woo his crush, Diane Court. Diane never has to prove herself to him. He loves her just as she is within the first five minutes of the movie and we can totally understand why. Watch Say Anything… on Hulu.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena VistaIt takes bravery to be exactly who you are–especially in hormone-fueled high school. Alas, Kat’s unique brand of sardonic wit and “down with the patriarchy” feminist wiles are exactly why everyone wants her to change. Does she? Hell no. And Patrick falls for her anyway. Watch 10 Things I Hate About You on Disney+ and Hulu.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)IFC FilmsUnlike literally any other makeover montage rom com, Toula isn’t taken against her will to the local department store by her crush or a gaggle of well-meaning popular girls. Instead, she makes the decision to change her own life. Not for a man or her family, but just because she wants to be better. Now that’s empowerment. Watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding on Max.
Always Be My Maybe (2019)NetflixAfter an awkward moment in Marcus’s car after graduation, these once lifelong friends drift apart. Sasha becomes about the most badass thing someone who loves cooking could be: An all-star celebrity chef. When we meet up with her again when the pair are adults, she’s already got her act together and she takes no nonsense from anyone–something you don’t usually see in romantic comedies. Watch Always Be My Maybe on Netflix.
Legally Blonde (2001)MGMElle Woods is so strong, smart, and confident that the romance in Legally Blonde is mostly just pale pink icing on a hot pink cake. In fact, Elle doesn’t need a man to such a degree that they could have skipped the romance subplot entirely and not lost anything at all. Let’s just spend 90 minutes watching her be the best lawyer in the room. Watch Legally Blonde on Max.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)Warner Bros.When Rachel finds out her boyfriend is actually a supremely wealthy socialite from Singapore, she’s quickly thrust into their world without much support. Rather than shrinking away from the increasingly beguiling world of the infinitely rich and his equally hostile mom, Rachel holds her own. If you need a boost, just watch her speech during mahjong at the end of the movie. Watch Crazy Rich Asians on Netflix.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the subtle red flags of the envious female narcissist people often miss.
They are kind to you if you can do something for them or hold some form of power over them. They are cruel and underhanded to the people they’re envious of. People often assume that just because someone is kind to them that they can’t behave differently to other people. This is one of the most dangerous fallacies to engage in when it comes to narcissistic and psychopathic people. A female narcissist or psychopath isn’t going to show their true nature to their employer or friends they need to keep in their corner or a date they’re love bombing (at least not yet). Who will they show their true character to? The people they most envy and feel threatened by. Those are the people they try to undermine, sabotage, and bully behind closed doors. That is why you may have a female narcissist who behaves with seeming kindness toward the colleagues, friends, or lovers who don’t threaten them (or hold power over them), only to target the person who they are envious of by trying to interfere with their work, spread rumors, or pit them against other friends (also known as relational aggression). If you are told by their victims that they have engaged in covert bullying behaviors and the victim is someone who is empathic and trustworthy and has strengths and abilities that make them a target for such envy, recognize you may be getting the inside scoop on the narcissist’s true character, not their mask. These types tend to be a liability in the workplace, friendships, and romantic relationships, engaging in numerous unethical violations and putting friends, lovers, and businesses at risk. The most trustworthy people are actually those who are not necessarily saccharine sweet to everyone and treat them accordingly based on their own character rather than a personal agenda, and it is usually the empathic, authentic, and most talented people who become targets of such manipulators.
They mirror and copy you, relying on your gifts and talents to shape their own personality and efforts — yet devalue the “source.”This is the friend who “morphs” into you, suddenly donning similar clothing, mannerisms, gestures, or even regurgitating your life stories or jokes all while spreading rumors behind your back or dishing out covert put-downs to your face. This is the coworker who exploits your ideas to try to gain the same praise and recognition you do, only to try to hide or even interfere with your achievements or engage in unethical actions to get rid of the evidence that showcases your accomplishments while highlighting themselves. They may even try to take the credit for labor they have not performed while devaluing the original source — you.
They are personally intrusive.Most empathic people would know better than to dive head first into personal details before they even know someone but narcissists and psychopaths are different. Female narcissists especially can weaponize the societal normalization of “two women bonding through sharing their traumas” to try to take an inventory of your vulnerabilities and traumas so they can later use these against you as ammunition. Any “bonding” conversation with a narcissist or psychopath will feel more like an interrogation. They will coerce you into revealing personal details to them early on and will ruthlessly probe you to figure out what you have experienced, at times even pretending they’ve experienced the same just to hook you.
They minimize you and take sadistic pleasure in doing so. This is the friend or partner who may initially cheer on your success but then makes a snide remark to detract from your happiness and minimize it. For example, if you share that you got a job promotion, they will suddenly start asking when you’re going to get married with a smirk. If other friends are cheering you on, they are the first to contemptuously question your achievements and center themselves. If men are hitting on you at the club, they will try to interrupt these conversations to get the attention focused on them. If they think you’re more attractive than them, they may deliberately post photos that make them appear in a better light. They cannot stand other people having the spotlight.
They follow and track your every move and interfere in your relationships. With any kind of narcissist, you always get the sense that you are being stalked even if you’re not being physically stalked. This is the friend who is the first to remark upon the social media updates you posted but with minimizing or covertly jealous remarks to diminish you and take the spotlight off you (i.e. Congratulations! You know, Maria achieved the same thing too). They are the first friend to start to copy something you’re doing or go after the person you’re crushing on. Female narcissists and psychopaths are notorious for going after the partners of their close friends in an attempt to “one-up” them, whether those people reciprocate those affections or not.
They idealize you when they want something from you or need to keep up appearances, but throw you off the pedestal once you’re not buying into their false “charisma.”Not everyone falls for a female narcissist’s charm. Some can see right through them — and that is exactly why those people tend to become scapegoats or targets. A narcissistic girlfriend or spouse may love bomb you with constant attention or affection but if you call out a shady relationship with their numerous admirers and close male friends, they may suddenly withdraw and give you the silent treatment while pursuing other targets due to their thirst for novelty. A narcissistic friend may be hyperfocused on building your friendship to associate themselves with your success and ride your coattails, but will avert their attention elsewhere as soon as they see a shinier prize of a friend to cling onto for fame and status. A narcissistic colleague may pretend to be best friends with the person who outranks them, but if they ever get a position of power, sayonara to any sense of loyalty to any colleagues they buttered up in the meantime (in fact, they probably used underhanded methods to climb the corporate ladder in the first place, collecting information from their so-called “work friends” and pushing people, including their more deserving friends out of the way to do so).
Sometimes we can’t understand the difference between toxic love and healthy love until we see its contrast. So here I am, yet again, to ruin your favorite movies (just kidding – you can still feel free to enjoy them, so long as you keep in mind the red flags) by comparing them to movies that actually set a healthier example of true love. Keep in mind, I had to really dig to find the healthy couples, because a lot of movies do not feature such relationships – but we certainly celebrate whatever we can find!
The Worst: Nate and Andy from The Devil Wears PradaWhile Nate does serve as the voice that stops Andy from betraying her true self in her career, he seems quite envious of her ambitions and often negs her and shames her when she’s working late hours at her job trying to survive in a cutthroat fashion industry, or attending a special event that is meaningful to her. While it’s true Andy was working for a narcissistic boss, Nate’s concern seems less around the fact that she’s suffering (he actually seemed to add to her problems, not provide solutions or empathy) and more centered around the fact that he’s not getting enough attention in the relationship. Fair enough, but we’d rather see a partner who comforts and validates you when you’re stressed out and cheers you on when you’re winning.
The Best: Elle Woods and Emmett Richmond in Legally BlondeElle Woods may have an obnoxious ex-boyfriend, but her new boyfriend is more than up to par. Emmett is the supportive, intelligent, kind, and compassionate (did we mention very tall and handsome?) new boyfriend that cheers on Elle as she taps into her true strengths and rises to the top of her Harvard class. We love a man who supports a woman’s success and celebrates her achievements!
The Worst: Vivian and Edward in Pretty WomanTo be sure, Pretty Woman is a 90’s film, so it’s no wonder that it’s not very progressive, yet it’s understandable while this film is so beloved given the chemistry between stars Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. But looking back on it, the tropes presented in the film are a bit problematic: a much older man picking up a younger, vulnerable sex worker to be at his beck and call, catering to his every need, inevitably objectifies the female character (who feels a bit one-dimensional since her backstory isn’t fleshed out much) as someone who is here to serve the male protagonist, and presents the idea that a woman has to be rescued in order for it to be true love. Plus, their arguments border on toxic.
The Best: Sally and Gary in Practical MagicHonestly, both of Sally’s love interests in Practical Magic are pretty awesome. Her first husband is her perfect match in a peaceful, loving marriage and leads to a beautiful family. Her second husband, Gary, emerges from some pretty tumultuous circumstances as he investigates the murder of her sister’s abusive boyfriend buried beneath their rose bushes (just your typical day to day life when you’re a witch). He’s brave enough to withstand the family curse placed on the Owens sisters and face love head-on, does what is needed to keep Sally safe and inspires Sally to believe in true love again. While Sally can certainly hold her own, Owen is happy to help, making it a true partnership rather than a “rescued by a white knight” scenario.
The Worst: Sandy and Danny in GreaseWhile viewers may be fans of the hit musical numbers, the romance in Grease has not aged very gracefully. Sandy has to change herself so that Danny won’t be embarrassed to be seen with her, and Danny tries to override her consent when he gets sexually aggressive with her in the front seat of his car. This is hardly a couple to aspire to.
The Best: Morticia and Gomez Addams from The Addams FamilyThis is obsession and admiration done correctly. While the movie is set against a dark ambience, Morticia and Gomez are overflowing with love and affection toward one another and Gomez practically worships the ground Morticia walks on. They are generous toward one another and love each other’s company, while still giving each other space to handle the issues in their respective lives. This mutual adoration, healthy attachment, and respect is what we should all strive for in relationships.
The Worst: Bella and Edward from TwilightWe have to admit, the first Twilight film was entertaining and that baseball scene set to Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole” will always remain epic and close to our hearts. But the entire series definitely does an injustice to depictions of healthy love. We definitely don’t need to romanticize stalking or aggression, or toxic limerence in order to have a proper love story between a mortal and a vampire, which is what the series seems to do as Bella centers her entire life around Edward and Edward watches her sleep at night with the gusto of Joe Goldberg.
The Best: Rosemary and Dill in Easy ANow you know there’s a shortage of healthy relationship movies when we have to resort to looking at side characters as models, but Rosemary and Dill, Olive’s parents on Easy A, are a delightful pair. Both are weird and quirky yet perfectly match one another in their eccentricities. They are also the couple that encourages their children to be whoever they want to be, and their open-mindedness and hilarious banter are inspiring. One should aspire to have such a playful, adventurous relationship.
Crafting a main villain in a children’s movie makes for a delicate balancing act. In most cases, filmmakers strive to create an antagonist capable of undermining their heroic counterparts, presenting their villainous antics in a straightforward, sometimes cartoonishly comical manner.
Every so often, though, the production team behind a children’s movie might accidentally conjure up a villain that instantly strikes fear in its younger audience members. Whether through their foreboding appearance or twisted personalities, these movie baddies leave viewers cringing in terror, horrifying audiences from generation to generation.
Judge Doom (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)Buena VistaIt’s incredible to think that someone as down-to-earth as Christopher Lloyd–I.E., the man behind Back to the Future’s Doc Brown–could play a character as thoroughly malevolent as Judge Doom. The sinister judge, jury, and executioner of Los Angeles’ Toontown district, Judge Doom’s imposing appearance alone is enough to make viewers to literally recoil away from the screen. If his outward appearance wasn’t bad enough, Doom somehow manages to appear even more terrifying once he sheds his human disguise, revealing his true form as a wild-eyed, wacky-haired, screechy-voiced Toon hellbent on exterminating his own kind.
The Wicked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz)MGMThere’s a reason most people associate witches with pointed hats, black dresses, and unkempt broomsticks. Setting the standard for every fictional spellcaster that followed, the Wicked Witch of the West also managed to horrify mainstream audiences in the late 1930s, so much so that Margaret Hamilton had to appear on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood to distinguish herself from her cackling counterpart. Arriving with a burst of red smoke and with an army of flying monkeys at her back, this green-faced sorcerer could cause your heart to skip a beat through her unhinged laughter alone.
The Evil Queen (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)Walt DisneyThe first villain ever presented in a feature-length Disney film, the Evil Queen continues to make audiences’ skin crawl nearly a century after Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ original release. A vain yet alluring monarch who envies Snow White’s youthful beauty, the Evil Queen schemes out ways to permanently eliminate her estranged stepdaughter, allowing the Queen to assert her place as “the fairest in the land.” While a tad intimidating in her original form, it’s the Evil Queen’s disguise as a wizened old crone that provides Snow White with some of its most chilling sequences (such as her magical transformation or her constant attempts to poison Snow White).
The Horned King (The Black Cauldron)Walt DisneyNext to Snow White’s Evil Queen, the Horned King takes the cake for the single most intimidating Disney villain in the company’s history. A skeletal emperor who plans to conquer the medieval land of Prydain, the Horned King’s monstrous appearance reflects his warped personality. With a howling wind announcing his presence, the Horned King gives The Lord of the Rings’ Sauron or Star Wars’ Emperor Palpatine a run for their money in terms of disquieting evil overlords.
The Wheelers (Return to Oz)Buena VistaWe have no idea whether it was intentional or not, but somehow, Return to Oz provides no shortage of unsettling visuals throughout its two hour runtime. Case in point with the Wheelers, an antagonistic group of humanoid creatures with wheels in place of their hands and feet. Rolling into the film in pursuit of Dorothy and her talking chicken Billina, everything about the Wheelers comes across as pure nightmare fuel, from their unnatural movements and high-pitched laughter to their ghoulish costumes and grim threats of violent dismemberment.
The Other Mother (Coraline)Focus FeaturesAdapted from Neil Gaiman’s award-winning young adult novel of the same name, Coraline never bills itself as a film aimed at younger audiences. Instead, it gears itself more heavily towards slightly older viewers who are more comfortable with darker subject matter, as seen through the film’s nightmarish antagonist, the Other Mother. A spider-like creature with crackled skin, lifeless button eyes, and long, knife-like fingers, the Other Mother never ceases to get under viewers’ skin from the very first moment she appears on-screen.
From steamy flings to heartwarming connections, these 10 workplace romance movies perfectly capture the excitement and challenges of falling for a coworker.
Having a thing for someone at work can be both exhilarating and totally nerve-wracking. One minute you’re casually chatting by the coffee machine, and the next you’re full-on daydreaming about running off together to some tropical paradise. But workplace romances can be messy IRL. So if you want to indulge in a little vicarious office romance, here are 10 movies that capture the excitement, tension, and butterflies of falling for someone at work.
Jerry Maguire (1996)Sony PicturesJerry Maguire stars Tom Cruise as a slick sports agent who ditches his fancy job to start his own agency. After hiring a young single mom, played by Renee Zellweger, as his accountant, he begins to fall for her. It’s a classic will-they-or-won’t-they that perfectly captures that thrill of falling for someone at the office. And who can forget Jerry’s legendary line, “You had me at ‘hello?'” Watch Jerry Maguire on Amazon Video.
What Women Want (2000)Paramount PicturesWhat Women Want is a fun workplace rom-com with a magical twist. Mel Gibson portrays a chauvinistic ad executive who gains the ability to hear women’s thoughts after suffering a freak accident. With his new mind-reading powers, he hears the innermost thoughts of his boss, played by Helen Hunt, and tries to use them to get ahead at work. But of course, the more he learns about what women really want, the more he starts to fall for her. It’s a lighthearted, feel-good look at how truly listening to the person you’re crushing on at the office can lead to unexpected love. Watch What Women Want on Amazon Video.
Two Weeks Notice (2002)Warner Bros.Two Weeks Notice is a classic office romance that’ll have you dreaming about finding love at your 9-to-5. Sandra Bullock is a super uptight lawyer who butts heads with her billionaire real estate mogul boss, played by the always charming Hugh Grant. Their bickering fuels the romantic tension bubbling underneath. And by the end, you’re rooting for them to finally get their act together and give in to their epic chemistry. Watch Two Weeks Notice on Amazon Video.
No Reservations (2007)Warner Bros.No Reservations is a mouth-watering workplace rom-com that brings romance to the kitchen. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays an ambitious chef who butts heads with her accomplished new sous chef, played by the dreamy Aaron Eckhart. They’re at each other’s throats at first. But eventually, the heat between them gets hotter than the stoves. It’s a steamy, delicious look at workplace tensions boiling over into romance. Watch No Reservations on Amazon Video.
The Proposal (2009)Walt Disney StudiosThe Proposal is a total workplace romance gem that’ll have you fantasizing about an office fling! Sandra Bullock plays a high-strung book editor forced to marry her assistant hottie Ryan Reynolds to avoid getting deported. What starts as a pretend relationship slowly turns real as they’re forced to play house together. Their chemistry grows intense as they go from bickering coworkers to an old married couple who can’t keep their hands off each other. Watch The Proposal on Hulu.
Morning Glory (2010)Paramount PicturesMorning Glory is a hilarious behind-the-scenes look at workplace romance on a struggling morning TV show. Rachel McAdams is a passionate young producer trying to revive the dying program, and she has to wrangle her two extremely unpredictable anchors played by Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford. Amidst the madness of her high-pressure job, she finds herself drawn to a fellow producer — portrayed by Patrick Wilson — who shares her passion for television. Watch Morning Glory on Amazon Video.
Laws of Attraction (2004)New Line CinemaLaws of Attraction stars Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore as high-powered divorce attorneys who find themselves going head-to-head on a major case. As their professional rivalry heats up in the courtroom, an undeniable spark starts flaring up between them behind the scenes. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife as they bicker one minute, and share smoldering looks the next. It’s a treat to watch them struggle to put their legal beef aside and give in to their chemistry. Watch Laws of Attraction on Amazon Video.
Set It Up (2018)NetflixSet It Up is a fresh, hilarious take on the workplace romance that’ll have you wanting to play matchmaker at the office. Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell are two overworked assistants who try to set up their nightmare bosses, played by Taye Diggs and Lucy Liu, in the hopes they’ll finally get some chill time. Of course, sparks start flying between the well-meaning assistants too as they’re working their dating magic behind the scenes. It’s just a matter of time before both couples realize their obvious connections and give in to their love stories. Watch Set It Up on Netflix.
Long Shot (2019)LionsgateLong Shot is an unconventional workplace rom-com that proves opposites really do attract. Charlize Theron portrays an ambitious U.S. Secretary of State and presidential hopeful, while Seth Rogen plays the scruffy journalist she used to babysit back in the day. Sparks unexpectedly fly when she hires him as her speechwriter, leading to some seriously awkward and laugh-out-loud moments as they try to keep things professional. It’s a fresh, funny take on falling for someone you think is totally out of your league at work. Watch Long Shot on Netflix.
The Hating Game (2021)Vertical EntertainmentThe Hating Game is the ultimate enemies-to-lovers workplace romance that’ll have you wishing for your own office nemesis to spar with. Lucy Hale and Austin Stowell sizzle as executive assistants forced to work side-by-side at their publishing company. They spend their days trying to one-up and sabotage each other, but all that hilarious hostility is just masking their intense chemistry. It’s a sexy, witty look at how sometimes the person who drives you the craziest at work might just be your perfect match. Watch The Hating Game on Hulu.
Is a narcissist “emotionally stalking” and gaslighting you? Here are the four red flags to watch out for, according to an expert.
Stalking comes in many forms. One of the subtle ways narcissistic and psychopathic people can “emotionally” stalk you is by following everything you do closely at the beginning and ending of the relationship, taking a careful inventory of your fears, vulnerabilities, and any perceived weaknesses and strengths they can later exploit both during the relationship and after its ending. A common but not often spoken about form of stalking narcissists engage in is tracking your every move after the end of the relationship (especially if you ended contact with them first) and to deliberately try to use the information they learned during the relationship to provoke you into reacting even when you two are in no contact. This can be done in multiple ways, including an intense love-bombing period followed by cruel devaluation to try to keep you fixated on them, or post-break up “Hoovers” designed to keep you sucked back into the traumatic vortex of the abuse cycle. Here are four red flags a narcissist is emotionally stalking and gaslighting you – while pretending you’re the obsessed one.
Pretending that they didn’t love-bomb you 24/7 before abruptly withholding attention and attention and devaluing you — even when they were the ones ardently pursuing you first, only to depict you as obsessed to others when you react. They may even be stalking you and provoking you far after the ending of the relationship, only to use your reactions against you.Love bombing a victim takes effort and energy. That is why narcissists make sure to overwhelm their victims early on by showering them with intense and persistent attention, affection, and constant contact for months and even years (even when that same level of affection isn’t returned) so that their targets experience the euphoric dopamine rush of idealization, before they suddenly pull away and depict you as clingy, needy and someone who is obsessed with them. In reality, they were the ones who had to pursue you ardently first to even get your attention. From the outside, the narcissist will attempt to share sob stories of how “crazy” their victims are, how these victims just won’t “leave them alone,” or pretend there was no kind of investment they put into the relationship despite their victims not bothering them at all. For example, let’s say Todd love bombed Tara with constant gifts, phone calls, and romantic dates, later resulting in marriage. Tara wasn’t initially interested in Todd but he was persistent and won her over with promises of long-lasting love and a happy life together. Later in the relationship, Todd abruptly became callous and cruel toward Tara and failed to fulfill any of the promises he made. Tara divorced Todd after discovering he was emotionally abusive, and Todd would periodically love bomb her into thinking they were on good terms for the sake of the children, only to suddenly withhold communication when it was necessary. Tara may be forced to reach out to him about an important co-parenting matter through text, while Todd may then spin this very minimal level of contact as Tara being “obsessed” with him and “stalking” him when in reality Tara just wanted to know when the kids will be picked up for visitation.
Or, he may try to provoke Tara into reaching out by posting slanderous lies about her on social media to mutual friends, again forcing her hand into confront him and using her reaction as ammunition that she just “won’t let go,” even though he is the one who continues to try to provoke her and has clearly not moved forward with his life. Never trust anyone who tries to prematurely depict their ex-partner, friend, acquaintance as “crazy” and “obsessed” without considering the possibility that it’s the narcissist who didn’t leave them alone (and in some cases still won’t), emotionally stalking and tormenting them during the idealization phase and post break-up.
They try to place barriers in your life from a distance and engage in a covert smear campaign in an attempt to evade exposure or take accountability.A narcissistic ex-partner, friend, family member or acquaintance may subject you to the silent treatment after the relationship has ended but still attempt to play puppeteer in your life by emotionally stalking you in other ways. For example, they may spread false rumors about you in a targeted smear campaign to create a wedge between you and your support networks so you feel isolated after the break-up. They might try to provoke you on special days like birthdays by posting “dog-whistles” on social media, covertly aggressive statements directed at you that only you can identify. They may even call up your friends or associates and “innocently” share personal information about you which they’ve twisted and distorted to suit their own agendas to sabotage you, placing you in harm’s way. This is emotional stalking that is more difficult to call out because it all happens from a distance, and because the narcissist isn’t engaging in direct contact, they can pretend you’re the problematic one if you call them out.
Provoking you post-breakup to try to participate in their sick and twisted love triangles.A narcissistic ex is the type who will flaunt their new partner on social media in hopes that you will see it and beg for them to come back (as laughable as that sounds). They may visit the same restaurants or establishments they know you frequent or send you “accidental” texts and phone calls pretending they meant to send these to another love interest in an attempt to rouse your jealousy, or take their dates to the same places you two went together to make you feel less special. This is all a ploy to get under your skin and get you refocused on them, especially if they sense you are moving forward. If they can get a reaction out of you, they feel they’ve “won.” It’s a form of emotional stalking designed to deliberately taunt you and get some of the power and control they feel they’ve lost now that you’ve left them.
Establishing and coercing you into a pattern of constant contact with you and overriding your boundaries to meet a specific agenda in the beginning, only to claim you are the one actively pursuing them when they fail to keep up with their future-faking false promises.In another example, let’s say a narcissistic family member pushes you into maintaining constant contact with them. They leave you continual missed calls, voicemails, and often berate you when you’re not giving them your full attention (this can happen with a narcissistic romantic partner as well). Perhaps they initiate this constant contact for a specific purpose and agenda. With the narcissistic family member, they may be trying to sweet-talk you into giving them a loan, whereas with a narcissistic dating partner, they might be trying to sleep with you early on. They disguise these motives as just wanting to connect with you or even trying to give you something you want, making false promises and future faking to lure you in (i.e making grand promises of a healthy loving relationship, or a stronger familial bond). However, once they either meet their agenda or realize you will not be giving them what they actually want, they will suddenly drop out of contacting you altogether and pretend you are disturbing them if you ever follow up on any of the promises they made (such as returning a loan or going forward into a relationship), while depicting you as selfish and egotistical to others for daring to have a normal human reaction to being belittled, gaslit, and invalidated. They paint you as the villain, someone “stuck” on them while depicting themselves as “mature” and “compassionate” for “tolerating” your attempts to gain justice in the situation — when in reality they may very well be the self-absorbed, egotistical ones whose lack of empathy and cruelty would expose them if anyone ever found out the true story.
If you somehow haven’t seen 50 First Dates, the story follows a womanizer named Henry, played by Adam Sandler, who falls in love with an art teacher named Lucy, played by Drew Barrymore. She suffers from a memory impairment that causes her to forget him the next day, so he tries to win her over again. And again. Although the movie was released almost twenty years ago (in 2004), here are a few lessons from the film that still hold up today:
You need to put effort into the relationship, even if you’ve been together for years.Every single day, Henry tries his hardest to make Lucy smile like it’s the first time they’re meeting. And this is exactly how you should act in a long-term relationship. Some people assume you’re supposed to do all the hard work early on in the relationship, when you’re trying to impress the other person, and then you can relax once you become a couple. But that’s the wrong idea. You can’t get lazy over time and start neglecting your person. You need to continue to show your partner that you care, years down the line. You need to continue putting effort into the relationship, even when you’ve been together for months, years, or decades.
If someone wants to be with you badly enough, then they aren’t going to let anything get in the way of loving you the way you were meant to be loved.If you think you’re unlovable, you’re thinking wrong. The right person won’t care if you have anxiety or depression or a memory impairment like Lucy. They will love you on your good days and bad days, through the easy times and the rough times. So don’t you dare settle for someone who makes you feel like a burden. Hold out for someone who surpasses your expectations without thinking twice. Someone who couldn’t care less about the aspects of yourself that make you feel insecure. You are lovable exactly the way you are.
Relationships aren’t always easy, but you can’t run away when things get hard.When you find the right person for you, things aren’t always going to be smooth sailing. Life isn’t that simple. Even if this person is perfect for you, you’re going to have obstacles that get in your way and prevent you from living out your happily ever after. However, if you want to make the relationship work, you’ll search for solutions. You’ll use trial and error until you figure out how to make the romance work. You won’t give up the second that things get hard. You’ll work as a team to figure out a solution. You’ll put in real work because this person is worth the energy.
Your family members won’t always know what’s best for you.Everyone in Lucy’s life warns Henry to stay away from her. They assume he’ll end up hurting her — or getting hurt by her. However, he ignores their advice and continues to pursue her. By the end of the movie, they end up married with a family, living out their dream. This is a reminder that, although you should listen when your loved ones have a bad feeling about your relationship, you need to trust your instincts. At the end of the day, their approval doesn’t matter. Your happiness matters. You need to live a life that makes you feel fulfilled, regardless of what they think. If they love you, your happiness will change their mind anyway.
Protecting your heart can backfire.Lucy tries to protect Henry by breaking up with him. But he’s happier when he’s with her. Separating is only hurting the both of them. Remember, isolating yourself from the rest of the world in order to protect your heart (or other hearts) isn’t actually helping. Loving someone is always a risk, but it’s a risk that is worth taking. If you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship, you need to be brave.
The upcoming Criminal series, starring Charlie Hunnam, might still be under the radar, but this is one show that holds the ability to change the rules and redefine the genre.
Stand back, civilizations – there’s a new comic book-based television show on the horizon. Variety reported that Amazon Prime Video is set to adapt a live-action show of Criminal, with Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam in the lead role. Right now, those who know, know, while others see this as merely another comic book adaptation in the endless slew of capes and capers. However, Criminal merits a serious case of anticipation because the source material features a special sauce that hits differently. In fact, don’t be surprised if this becomes the comic book television show that transcends the genre – much like The Dark Knight did for cinema in 2008.
What is Criminal about?Written by Ed Brubaker and drawn by Sean Phillips, Criminal is an interconnected collection of crime stories that feature a number of characters. The first volume in the series is titled Coward, and it’s confirmed to be the focus of at least the first season of the live-action show, since Charlie Hunnam is playing the character Leo Patterson.
In the comics, Leo is a thief who possesses a strong moral code. He prefers to plan his heists to perfection and execute them without any guns or violence – the cleaner, the better for him. Resultantly, this earns him a reputation of being somewhat of a coward (hence the title) among his peers, especially since Leo’s father, Tommy, went to prison for famously murdering the dangerous Teeg Lawless. Even so, no one can dispute Leo’s talents, so he reluctantly accepts a heist proposal involving a police van carrying $5 million in diamonds, but the job goes sideways and violent. Leo manages to escape from the scene of the bloody crime, but now has a target on his back due to the valuable score in his possession, which isn’t really diamonds.
How it’s similar to The Dark KnightChristopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight rips a few pages out of the script of Michael Mann’s Heat to create a story that digs deep into the seedy roots of Gotham City’s underworld. This isn’t only about a colorful villain battling Batman; it’s about the structured layers of crime – from the street-level thugs to the corrupt officials sitting and making laws in the courts. It becomes a commentary of the sociopolitical factors that cause different people from all walks of life to become embroiled in various illegal activities – and how looking at these events through the lens of simply black or white misses a lot of the nuance and reasons for why people turn to crime. The rise and fall of Harvey Dent, in particular, merits debate, as it’s tough to define who failed who here.
Criminal explores similar themes, as it showcases Leo’s controversial history and how his life isn’t something he can just walk away from when he feels like it. Like any crime story worth its weight, the narrative shifts away from debating good and bad, right and wrong – focusing on the complex characters living in a complex world that doesn’t always play by the same rules it forces others to follow. Leo’s story poke holes in moral superiority as it asks the pertinent question: What would you do in my shoes? The answer isn’t as easy as some may think it is.
Why fans should be excited aboutIn 2007, Criminal received an Eisner Award for Best New Series and remains the gold standard for other crime comics to strive toward. It isn’t just another comic book – it’s a good one at that which so happens to be entirely creator-owned and free from the shackles of corporate overlords. This is a major cause for celebration, as it means less (wannabe) cooks in the kitchen to destroy the final creation.
Equally important, Criminal writer Ed Brubaker – who will serve as the co-showrunner of the show – is becoming highly sought out in film and television. He co-created the highly underrated neo-noir series Too Old to Die Young with Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn, and also formed part of the writers room of Westworld. No one gets crime fiction quite like he does nowadays, and he’s the right person to be guiding the creative ship of this noir-esque series.
And finally, Amazon Prime Video looks to be the perfect home for Criminal. Judging by The Boys and Invincible, the streaming platform commits to darker and more R-rated comic book properties and stories. Case in point: Every season of The Boys gets wilder and edgier than before, and it’s tough to see other streaming services giving the same amount of freedom to go balls to the wall.
A live-action adaptation of Criminal can’t be safe or corporately sanitized to appeal to the whole family; it needs grit and grime covering every wall as it tells sinister stories about the darker side of human nature. Fortunately, the signs point to the latter becoming the reality here. If all the right gears click in place, expect for Criminal to not only be remembered as a fantastic comic book series, but also a genre-defining show when all is said and done.
Netflix’s Hit Man proves to be a refreshing mistaken identity film. For those in the mood for more tomfoolery and deception, here are six other movies to check out.
Mistaken identity films are a dime a dozen in Hollywood, having been played out countless times to the point in which the audience can’t help but roll their eyes when another one arrives. Netflix’s Hit Man, though, injects freshness into this trope. There’s a glint in the Richard Linklater-directed film’s eye, as Glen Powell’s Gary Johnson embraces his persona of Ron as he falls deeper in love with Madison (Adria Arjona). The meek-and-mild Gary all but disappears as the cool-and-collected Ron takes over his body and breaks all the rules to protect Madison.
With an overwhelmingly positive score from critics and audiences on Rotten Tomatoes, it looks like Hit Man is locked and loaded to become a bona fide classic among mistaken identity films. The good news is, there are a bunch of other great movies that explore this same popular storytelling device, so let’s take a look at the best of the best. And no, Big Momma’s House won’t feature on this list!
The Big Lebowski (1998)Gramercy PicturesWhen it comes to cult mistaken identity films, viewers will be hard pressed to find a more beloved feature than The Big Lebowski. The story gets out of hand rather fast and features more twists, turns, and unexpected occurrences that merits its own analysis, but the gist is this: Slacker Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) is mistaken for his namesake who happens to be a millionaire. Two men with a score to settle attack the wrong Lebowski (the Dude) in his home and one of them proceeds to urinate on his rug because he’s a vile troglodyte. The Dude loves his rug – and hey, they aren’t cheap – so he seeks out the other Jeffrey Lebowski to be compensated for it. However, this results in him being pulled into even more intricate and convoluted drama.
The Big Lebowski prides itself in being a wild and unpredictable ride with a protagonist who’d much rather chill at the bowling alley and hang out with his friends than be a hero. It’s highly relatable and establishes the Dude as the role model we all need and deserve. Watch The Big Lebowski on Amazon Video.
School of Rock (2003)Paramount PicturesDown-and-out rock ‘n’ roller Dewey Finn (Jack Black) needs cash – and fast – so he poses as his friend and roommate, Ned Schneebly (Mike White), to get a substitute teaching gig. Needless to say, Dewey’s teaching methods prove to be unconventional and matters take another turn when he decides to use the young kids to form a musical outfit for a Battle of the Bands competition.
School of Rock celebrates the rebellious spirit of rock and captures the genuine fun and absurdity of starting a band. It isn’t always easy to put different creative personalities in a room and align them in the same direction, but when it clicks, there’s an inexplicable magic in the moment. To quote Dewey: “If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules.” Watch School of Rock on Paramount+.
Dumb & Dumber (1994)New Line CinemaLloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) and Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) are menaces to society. Whatever they do – even whatever they think of doing – inevitably results in disaster in the end. Case in point: In Dumb & Dumber, when Lloyd picks up the briefcase that Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly) dropped at the airport for her husband’s kidnappers. Inadvertently, Lloyd and Harry get pulled into the situation, where the real criminals believe them to be professionals working with law enforcement or hired by Mary. Considering how everything pans out, maybe they are savantes?
Dumb & Dumber isn’t only one of Carrey’s best movies of all time, but it’s also non-stop, madcap mayhem as Lloyd and Harry entangle (and detangle) themselves from all the precarious situations they find themselves in. They are weaponized, after all – remember how Lloyd said, “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” He wasn’t lying. Watch Dumb and Dumber on Amazon Video.
Maid in Manhattan (2002)Sony PicturesSomething of a modern-day Cinderella story, Maid in Manhattan sees Jennifer Lopez play the role of Marisa Ventura, who is a maid at a high-end hotel in Manhattan. After being mistaken for socialite Caroline Lane (Natasha Richardson) due to her trying on Caroline’s luxurious coat, politician Chris Marshall (Ralph Fiennes) falls head over heels for her because this is a rom-com and logic doesn’t exist. Marisa develops an attraction to Chris, too, but fears the repercussions of what will happen when he finds out her true identity and her job at the hotel.
Look, Maid in Manhattan is about as predictable as an episode of One Tree Hill, but there’s a comforting quality to the warm and fuzzies it gives the audience. It’s also J-Lo’s best role to date, and doesn’t force anyone to sit through the type of horrendous acting she expels in films such as Gigli and Atlas. Watch Maid in Manhattan on Amazon Video and The Roku Channel.
Bean (1997)PolyGramLike the intro to the Mr. Bean demonstrates, Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) fell to Earth and landed smack-bang in the middle of the street. No one knows what it means, but it’s likely that he’s a well-meaning but destructive demon expelled from Heaven and set to wreak havoc on Earth. In the movie Bean, after terrorizing England for many years, the gallery he works for sends him to Los Angeles as a representative – purely to get rid of him for a while and get some respite. Throughout the film, Bean stumbles into a number of interesting situations, such as being mistaken for an art expert and surgeon, to hilarious consequences.
Chaos follows Bean wherever he goes, and this film proves to be no different. While he doesn’t headbutt the Queen of England or shove steak tartare in anyone’s handbag here, he manages to destroy a priceless painting and get up to his usual brand of antics. Watch Bean on Amazon Video.
Blue Streak (1999)Sony PicturesWhile there’s no Big Momma’s House on this list – because that film deserves its own feature celebrating its sophistication and cinematic value – there’s another Martin Lawrence classic in the form of Blue Streak. Jewel thief Miles Logan (Lawrence) serves time behind bars for a heist; however, before he was apprehended, he hid the diamonds in a building under construction. When Miles gets out of the joint, he goes to the site to recover his stash. Lo and behold, it’s now the location of the Los Angeles Police Department Station. Miles ends up posing as the transferred Detective Malone to get closer to the jewels and it’s hijinks galore from there on out.
Blue Streak hits the sweet spot of other action-comedy films like Bad Boys and Beverly Hills Cop, but with the twist of mistaken identity. There’s a lot of ugly laughs to be had, and fans still hold a grudge against the filmmakers for not delivering on the long-promised sequel that never materialized. Watch Blue Streak on Netflix.
Here’s the thing: You’re not supposed to have everything figured out about your life in your 20s. Your 20s are a decade meant for self-discovery, messing up, and adventure. However, that doesn’t mean your 20s are easy. Your 20s can actually be some of the most difficult and trying years of your adult life. I know my 20s were rough for me.
But no matter how unmoored you may feel, you’re not alone in your experience because I’d argue most of us feel lost in our 20s. Here are three movies that perfectly represent feeling lost in your 20s.
1. Good Will Hunting (1997)Good Will Hunting is a classic for a reason. Starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Robin Williams, Good Will Hunting tells the story of Will Hunting (Damon), a janitor at MIT with a hidden mathematical genius. When Professor Gerald Lambeau (Stellan Skarsgård) writes a seemingly impossible math problem on a blackboard in MIT’s hallways, his students are stumped. However, when Will thought no one was around, he solved the formula, revealing his brilliance. When Professor Lambeau calls after him, Will sprints away.
Despite his vast intelligence, Will often finds himself in trouble. After getting into a street brawl that leads to yet another arrest, Will is almost sent to jail. However, Professor Lambeau hears about Will’s trial and shows up to bail him out. The condition? Will must work with Professor Lambeau on math every single week, as well as attend therapy.
After several therapists give up on Will, his last shot is Sean (Williams), a friend of Professor Lambeau. It’s then that Will begins to face his demons, forgive himself, and ultimately find his purpose and himself in the process.
A real tear-jerker, Good Will Hunting is a movie about self-worth, redemption, and the power of someone else believing in you when you can’t seem to believe in yourself.
2. Garden State (2004)Garden State is a coming-of-age indie film starring Zach Braff as Andrew Largeman, an aspiring actor who returns home to New Jersey from Los Angeles after the death of his mother. Andrew has not been home in many years, desperate to leave his past behind. Andrew’s mother had been a paraplegic due to a freak accident Andrew blames himself for. Because of the pain, Andrew’s father, a psychiatrist, put Andrew on a slew of antidepressant medications in an attempt to try to help his son recover from the trauma. However, the SSRI cocktail simply led Andrew to become completely numb to feeling anything at all.
However, when Andrew returns to New Jersey for his mom’s funeral, he goes off his medication cold turkey and begins to experience life again. With the help of old high school friends and free-spirited, quirky Sam (Natalie Portman), Andrew begins to open himself up to life once more.
- The Incredible Jessica James (2017)Truly one of the most underrated movies on Netflix, The Incredible Jessica James stars Jessica Williams as Jessica James, an aspiring playwright with high walls around her heart after a devastating breakup. While she struggles to make sense of the heartbreak, Jessica continues to submit her plays to production companies, only to receive rejection after rejection (all of which she hangs up on her wall).
Eventually, Jessica’s best friend sets her up on a date with Boone (Chris O’Dowd), a recent divorcee and app developer. Despite the incredible awkwardness of the evening, the two strike up an unlikely friendship and help each other move on from their exes. The Incredible Jessica James is hilarious, heartfelt, and relatable to anyone navigating their 20s with a broken heart.
There’s nothing like covert, underhanded sabotage, and narcissistic and psychopathic individuals tend to engage in these behaviors frequently to undermine the people they are envious of and feel threatened by. A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the four subtle behaviors you should be on the lookout for if you suspect you’re being sabotaged by a narcissist.
Crazymaking arguments and provocations before important events, milestones, or during celebrations. People who have been in any kind of interaction or relationships with narcissistic and psychopathic people note that this individual usually attempted to provoke them before or during important events to sabotage their joy. This leads them to feel drained, exhausted, depleted and emotionally distressed in a way that caused them to not fulfill their commitments or deterred their goals. For example, an envious husband who is threatened by you going back to school and seeks control over you may start arguments with you the day before a big exam, or a jealous girlfriend who doesn’t want to see you succeed might try to diminish you with covert put-downs the day of your graduation. This is all about exerting control and power over a victim the narcissist perceives they are losing control over. To avoid covert sabotage in this manner, do not disclose important events if you suspect you have a the toxic person in your life until these events are already over. Do not showcase what is important to you in the presence of a narcissist.
Pretending to support you overtly, but creating covert opportunities to shame, “humble,” or humiliate you. Let’s say a narcissistic parent sees you becoming financially and professionally successful. Overtly, they may sing your praises to other family members and friends, to benefit from the boost you give to their own image and their association with you. However, behind closed doors, they may constantly ask you questions or take actions meant to shame or “humble” you. This is due to their malicious envy, which is associated with both narcissistic and psychopathic traits in research. For example, they might start sending you e-mails about job postings even though you already have a high-ranking career or ask probing questions in front of other family members to point out something they perceive to be lacking in your life (i.e. they may say something like “Are you sure you want to spend your money on that? Don’t you need to save?” despite the fact that they know you are financially stable), even if it is not. Or maybe a narcissistic partner notices you’re experiencing a physical glow-up and becoming fit and healthy, but they don’t want you to continue leveling up because they know you will outshine them. They might start hyper-focusing on fabricated flaws to make you feel insecure, or suddenly start mentioning people they’ve met at the gym in an attempt to make you jealous. This is all part of a ploy to “humble” you when you’re leveling up and succeeding, to prevent you from surpassing them or knowing you deserve better. In the dating world, be very cautious of anyone who tries to neg or minimize you. This is a red flag that they will not cheer you on and support you the way you would do for them.
Doing the opposite of what you have expressed you desire and need for them.In healthy relationships, empathic people will listen to your concerns and take your needs, boundaries, and desires very seriously. In toxic relationships with narcissists and psychopaths, the narcissist may at times go out of their way to do the very opposite of what you’ve expressed you desire from them, as a way to diminish and derail you. I have jokingly said before you’d be better off telling the narcissist how you despise being left alone and hate receiving large cash gifts, because they love doing the opposite of what you express you desire. For example, if you tell a narcissistic spouse you’d love for them to pick up the kids after school on the day of an important interview, they may tell you they will do it but then fail to follow through, doing the opposite on purpose so you have to figure out how to handle childcare on a day where you do not need the extra stress (this example is especially pertinent if you’re the spouse who normally takes on the majority of childrearing anyway, but your spouse displays “weaponized incompetence” to get out of their own obligations). Or let’s say you tell a narcissistic friend you need some alone time to prepare for an important presentation. They may suddenly proceed to bombard you with “emergencies,” texts, and phone calls the day of the presentation, especially if they feel jealous of your success, manufacturing chaos in your life at ill-timed moments to underhandedly sabotage you.
When someone pulls these antics the first time around, it’s important to distance yourself immediately. If you need to maintain contact with this toxic person in any way, you can leave “red herrings” or misrepresent your true needs, vulnerabilities, and desires if you need to, knowing that the narcissist will try to use such fabricated fears and desires against you, thus proving themselves to be an unsafe person. You might tell a date you suspect is toxic that you have an insecurity you don’t have, and watch them try to use it against you, thus confirming their true character and allowing you to detach early on. You may also enforce your boundaries rather than relying on the narcissist to fulfill your needs. Rather than telling your friend you have an important presentation, for example, you may simply turn off your phone altogether and enforce the boundary. Instead of telling your toxic spouse you need someone to pick up the kids to attend an interview, you might make other arrangements ahead of time to protect yourself.
Minimizing your achievements or failing to give you your figurative “flowers” (healthy praise) while praising others in front of you, creating covert love triangles. Narcissistic and psychopathic people are notorious for pitting people against each other and creating triangles: whether it be love triangles or the inclusion of a third party in a platonic, familial, or professional arrangement. This can include withholding healthy praise from you, or diminishing your visible strengths and achievements, while praising others in front of you who may not even compare to you. For example, a narcissistic father may congratulate his son on a job well done when he gets a promotion but berate his brother when he does the same at an even more high-tier establishment. Or a narcissistic partner may fail to compliment how beautiful you look when you’re out to dinner when he sees you are being complimented by other men but deliberately hit on a waitress to make you jealous because he feels threatened by all the attention you get in public. This is known as jealousy induction, and it is more common during the devaluation rather than love bombing phase of the toxic relationship.
This is meant to destabilize you so that you don’t feel assured of your self-worth and strengths, and so you rely on their validation and approval rather than seeking better partners. It’s important to understand the pathological and egotistical needs that are behind a narcissist’s motives when evaluating their feedback or lack thereof so you do not internalize this. Rather, see it as evidence of your power – you are simply too threatening to the narcissist’s ego to celebrate or acknowledge at the moment especially if this type of minimization or withholding is occurring after a period of intense love bombing. They are uplifting others for the sole purpose of trying to provoke you. Remember to self-validate and remind yourself of the accurate feedback you do get from healthy, empathic people who do give you the “flowers” you deserve.
The ’90s were quite the time to be alive, and truthfully, a majority of fashion and pop culture trends happening now are reminiscent of the allure of the ’90s. Fashion isn’t the only thing that needs to be celebrated right now, as movies from the ’90s are something truly special. Ask any millennial, and they can quote their favorite ’90s movie word-for-word. With it being pride month, there are some hidden queer films from the ’90s that just don’t get the love they should. If you’re looking to expand your LBGTQ viewing this month and want something a bit different, check out this list of the 5 queer movies from the ’90s that you just have to watch.
The Birdcage (1996)MGM/UAReleased in 1996, The Birdcage is iconic. Starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, Williams plays Armand, a gay drag club owner in Miami. In an attempt to hide his gayness, because his son’s fiancé’s parents are staunch Republicans running for office, he hides his relationship with Albert (Lane) and turns down the flamboyance during their visit to meet them. This film is a remake of the French classic La Cage aux Folles. The Birdcage is such an incredibly fun and important story that shows, in the end, we can’t hide who we truly are or who we love just to hopefully make someone else happy. Plus, we get to see Williams in drag in another one of his films. 10/10 recommend. Watch The Birdcage on Prime Video, Peacock Premium, and FreeVee.
To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)Universal PicturesIn 1995, To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar was released and the star-studded cast delivers a fantastically fun and sugary sweet film about drag culture, queer culture, and approaches some serious topics which grace. Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze), Noxema Jackson (Wesley Snipes), and Chi-Chi Rodriguez (John Leguizamo) are three drag queens taking a road trip to Nationals, but along the way they run into trouble and end up spending some time in a small midwestern town. The film itself is amazing, and Robin Williams makes a cameo appearance, so that make it automatically 10 times better. Watch To Wong Foo on Prime Video.
Boys Don’t Cry (1999)Fox SearchlightBoys Don’t Cry is heartbreaking and tells a gut-wrenching true crime story of a trans man in Nebraska. Hilary Swank stars as Brandon Teena, a man trying to escape his hometown after his ex-girlfriend’s brother learns about his transition. He relocates to a new town and falls for a new girl, but her friends learn about Brandon’s transition and hatred starts to find him at every turn. This one is a bit harder to watch, but really calls for bravery and staying true to one’s identity in the face of such extreme hatred. Watch Boys Don’t Cry on Hulu.
Heavenly Creatures (1994)MiramaxStarring Melanie Lynskey and Kate Winslet, Heavenly Creatures is a sapphic thriller based on a true story. It’s set in the 50s, and Juliet (Winslet) and Pauline (Lynskey) develop a friendship through some shared interests that eventually evolve into a more intimate relationship. The women flee New Zealand to America and do anything they can to prevent people from getting in between them, and I mean anything.
But I’m A CheerleaderLionsgateProbably the most iconic queer film on this list, But I’m A Cheerleader is an instant classic nowadays. The film wasn’t well received when it initially released, but now it has a cult status among the LGBTQ community. Natasha Lyonne is Megan, a cheerleader with the perfect life and perfect boyfriend, except there’s one problem, she’s a lesbian. Her parents send her away to conversion camp to “fix” her (yawn) and there, she meets Graham (Clea DuVall). Megan eventually starts to come to terms with her sexuality and falls even harder for Graham. The film is bright and pink and has the most hilarious scene of Lyonne confessing “I’m a homosexual!”. Watch But I’m a Cheerleader on Paramount+.
A good rom-com will make you want to fall in love, but a good rom-com that takes place overseas will make you want to fall in love and travel. However, I’m not talking about Eat, Pray, Love, which peddles the myth that traveling business class to Bali will cure your depression. I’m talking about movies that are actually good – movies with three acts, character development, and more than just “Julia Roberts smiling.” That is to say, actual rom-coms. Classic rom-coms. Romantic comedies in far-flung destinations like Italy, Austria, and Brazil.
So, just in case you need some travel inspo, here are some rom-coms that gave us the travel bug. Maybe they’ll do the same for you.
Roman Holiday (1953)Paramount PicturesIf Breakfast at Tiffany’s made you want to become a socialite and eat pastries in front of Tiffany’s at 6 o’clock in the morning, then this other Audrey Hepburn movie will make you want to travel to Rome. Considered one of the most romantic movies of all time, Roman Holiday follows an American journalist, Joe Bradley, who falls in love with a European princess after finding her drugged and passed out and then taking her back to his apartment. Wait, no, not like that. Anyway, this movie takes its protagonists all over Rome, from the Spanish Steps to the Mouth of Truth, and you’ll want to retrace their steps immediately. Watch Roman Holiday on Amazon Video.
Amelie (2001)UGC FoxThe titular heroine of this movie is an awkward introvert with a big imagination, making her instantly relatable to any romantics in the audience. She’s also Parisian to her core, and spends most of the movie traversing her city, leading viewers past Sacré-Cœur, Notre-Dame, Gare du Nord, and even La Foire du Trône. Amelie’s Paris is one of tragedy and triumph, but it’s also one of romance, and will make you want to kiss sous le ciel de Paris. Watch Amelie on FreeVee.
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)Buena VistaThis is more of a rom-com-dram in the vein of Eat, Pray, Love, tackling themes of self-discovery and grief as a beautiful American writer-protagonist uproots her fabulous life. The difference is that this movie isn’t overstuffed with pointless subplots and gratuitous landscape shots, and includes far more details about its setting. In Under the Tuscan Sun, you actually feel like you’re uh, under the Tuscan sun. The movie makes you want to eat spaghetti and fix a dilapidated villa with the help of a crying Polish man and his horny teenage companion. Plus, if you’re a Grey’s Anatomy fan, then you’ll have some new fanfic ideas after watching Kate Walsh and Sandra Oh play a queer couple. Watch Under the Tuscan Sun on Hulu.
Before Sunrise (1995)Columbia PicturesNo other movie better encapsulates the feeling of young, budding love in a foreign country. As Richard Linklater’s follow-up to Dazed and Confused, this dazzling, dialogue-driven movie makes great use of Vienna as its backdrop for Céline’s (Julie Delpy) and Jesse’s (Ethan Hawke) epic first date. Literally, this movie’s whole plot is “two pretty young people meet and discuss life for 12 hours, but in Vienna.” That said, it couldn’t be more engrossing. After watching these two strangers turn into lovers, you’ll want to book a solo flight to Austria ASAP. And while it’s not technically a rom-com, per se, it does share some similarities with the genre. Watch Before Sunrise on Amazon Video.
The Holiday (2006)Universal PicturesThe idea of swapping homes with someone isn’t so far-fetched now that Airbnb has taken over the planet, but in 2006 it was wild enough to work as a cutesy rom-com concept. And while I think that Kate Winslet’s character got the better deal in this movie’s exchange, it’s Cameron Diaz’s character who will make you want to move to England. The cottage she visits has just enough simple, cozy pleasures to bring rural Southeast England to life. Watch The Holiday on Netflix.
The Way He Looks (2014)Vitrine FilmsThis queer teen coming-of-age flick is not just set in Brazil, but made by Brazilians, so the cultural context is muito authentic. And while São Paulo is not the most romantic place in Brazil by any means – that would be Fernando de Noronha, or Florianópolis – it does bring this movie’s protagonists, Gabriel and Leo, together. You may just want to go there after watching the sweet, visually-impaired Leo fall in love. Plus, Leo has the travel bug, bad, and you’ll likely contract the same condition. Watch The Way He Looks on Amazon Video.
There is nothing quite like the euphoria of justifiable female rage. Rage when channeled into constructive outlets can empower us and help us to set boundaries — and find our voice. Women have been told for centuries that their anger makes them hysterical and emotional, while men are often afforded the luxury of expressing their anger freely. Perhaps that is why movies about female rage are all the rage these days, even though the toxic people that rage is targeted towards can certainly be of any gender. Such movies give women permission to honor their emotions in a way they haven’t been able to do before, especially in cases of injustice or when dealing with a manipulator. While we shouldn’t look at female rage movies as how-to manuals, they can certainly be cathartic outlets to validate our experiences and motivate us to fight back constructively against those who try to exploit us. Once you see these movies, you’re less likely to spend time ruminating over your toxic ex and more likely to level up and start kicking some serious butt in all facets of your life.
Birds of PreyThere are many things you can do after a break-up. Cut your hair, drink and dance a little, begin doing roller derby, adopt a hyena, blow up an entire chemical plant (don’t actually do this please), and team up with some badass women to take on a gang of mobsters. While such antics should be enjoyed from the screen, there’s nothing like seeing female rage embodied in a physical explosion and becoming a vigilante bounty hunter to jumpstart your healing from your toxic ex. This is the story of the emancipation of Harley Quinn with her infamous quote, “Behind every successful man is a badass broad,” and it will surely inspire you. Margot Robbie plays the iconic Harley in Birds of Prey, a former psychiatrist turned criminal who sacrifices everything to be with the patient and madman she fell in love with, the Joker, only to face a break-up that initially leaves her feeling directionless. But as she empowers herself and the vigilante women around her using her strengths, she rediscovers her true power and skill set. This is one cinematic female rage action movie you won’t want to miss.
Waiting to ExhaleThis classic drama featuring the gorgeous and unbeatable Angela Bassett is famous for a lot of reasons, but two scenes in particular hit the hardest when it comes to witnessing another beautiful explosion (quite literally) of justifiable female rage. When Bernadine “Bernie” Harris discovers that her husband John is leaving her for another woman after she sacrificed her own dreams and career to help build his business, she rages in an eloquent speech about what she gave up to support him and the wickedness of John’s character as she burns his clothes and his car, and powerfully walks away from the burning car in an epic scene that has been memeified into cinematic immortality. While we do not advise doing any of this in real life, it is certainly cathartic and fun to watch her exorcise this toxic man out of her existence.
Kill BillIf you want a movie that gives you the adrenaline rush to get over those break-up blues, Kill Bill is the perfect “comfort” revenge movie. Just channel all your emotions and gain some cathartic healing as you watch Uma Thurman hunt down her assassin ex Bill and his fellow assassin group and kick everyone’s ass with the mighty force and speed of a trained warrior for daring to mess with her unborn baby.
The CraftA cult classic movie about a ferocious coven of women coming into their own magical abilities and power, The Craft is a delight to watch when you’re in the mood for some good old female rage — the magical kind that has the ability to actually transform the lives of others, that is. As shy teenager Sarah befriends a trio of witches in a new town, she taps into her own supernatural abilities and the coven grows stronger as they dish out casual revenge to people who’ve crossed them. When an obsession love spell goes wrong, causing Sarah’s crush to try to assault her, Nancy offers a whirlpool of vengeance to the offender in an all-encompassing and mighty display of powerful righteous female rage.
Promising Young WomanThis female rage movie is best enjoyed without the ending (seriously, the ending will break you). A tongue-in-cheek take on what happens when a woman gets tired of a culture that normalizes rape and violence against women, Carey Mulligan plays the strategic and clever Cassie Thomas in A Promising Young Woman. Cassie switches the roles of prey and predator by pretending to be drunk and luring in men who want to take advantage of her — only to scare them shitless with accountability when they discover she’s been sober all along. The movie depicts a more contained depiction of female rage since Cassie strategically harnesses her rage and grief over her best friend committing suicide due to her rape into hunting down the men responsible. However (spoiler alert) she discovers that even the trusted men in her own life are not that innocent.
Hard CandyHard Candy, much like an even gorier vigilante female rage film I Spit On Your Grave, is only for the hardcore vigilante lovers and not for the faint-hearted. The film is more about predatory relationships as presumed teenager Hayley (played by Elliot Page) lure in child predator Jeff from the internet — only to subject him to punish him for his crimes in ways he could never anticipate. Hard Candy is a female rage thriller that will leave you breathless.
CarrieNo list about female rage movies is truly complete without mentioning Stephen King’s formidable movie adaptation of the book Carrie — all of its film adaptations are spectacular, though the original with Sissy Spacek is naturally a classic. Although Carrie is not about romantic relationships apart from Carrie’s crush asking her out to prom, her rage finally coming out through her telekinetic powers at her high school bullies leaves quite the satisfying watch for anyone who has ever been wronged. Again, these movies are hardly instruction manuals nor should they be tried at home. But they certainly will move you and make you feel more motivated during times you may otherwise feel hopeless and powerless, helping you take your power back.
House of the Dragon Season 2 kicks off in shocking fashion, and proves how these characters’ greatest downfall is their inability to communicate.
In House of the Dragon and Game of Thrones, a rational person would assume that with multiple individuals named Aegon, Joffrey, and many derivatives of such names being awfully similar, people would be more clear in their communication. After all, it’s a touchy era where a simple misunderstanding could break out in wars where dragon’s fire and bloodshed reign. And that’s exactly what’s happened time and time again. Now, the latest series of miscommunications in Season 2 could really be what causes the dragon’s poop to hit the fan here.
Active listening sucks in the Seven KingdomsHouse of the Dragon Season 2’s first episode, “A Son for a Son,” showcases the simmering tension after the death of Lucerys (Elliot Grihault). Rhaenyra Targaryen (Emma D’Arcy) was already on edge after having the throne taken from her by Aegon Targaryen (Tom Glynn-Carney), and now her son is dead because of Aemond Targaryen (Ewan Mitchell). With the threat of all-out war looming in retaliation for Lucerys’ murder and a fight for who is the rightful ruler, Daemon Targaryen (Matt Smith) takes matters into his own hands and maneuvers his way in the shadows to encourage a few willing participants to kill Aemond. In essence, his reasoning is “a son for a son.” Well, the ratcatcher and his accomplice end up killing a son all right – Aegon’s infant son, Jaehaerys, whom they behead in brutal fashion.
HBOLook, it’s unclear if they misunderstood the assignment, were deliberately obtuse to secure the coin on offer, or Daemon said something else to them off screen, but the point is this: This event causes the molten lava-level of conflict to completely boil over. Now, it’s passed the point of no return and this could have all been avoided if people actively listened or asked questions if instructions weren’t clear enough.
The biggest culprit here is Daemon who is as stubborn as his hair is white. Instead of trusting in Rhaenyra’s judgment – since she is the person who lost Lucerys and should decide how to handle the matter – he goes on his own mission, refusing to communicate and listen to what she wants. He’s acting in her honor, but he doesn’t think about honoring her wishes to begin with or the consequences his actions might bring with them. Also, if Aemond is the end goal here, maybe be a little more direct with the assassins about the target rather than speak in poetic riddles. This is murder – not Shakespeare – after all.
The whole first season of House of the Dragon is bad communication between peopleAmbition proves to be the biggest danger to everyone in House of the Dragon. People hold their own agendas and are prepared to poison each other’s chalices to get closer to what they want. However, they don’t exactly help each other either by becoming information silos or refusing to address what needs to be discussed. Much like a toxic corporate culture, these people gossip in the corridors, present rumors as facts while massaging their manager’s feet (and ego), and never actually speak to one another about possible compromises or resolutions. Instead, these fools would rather duck and dodge fire-breathing dragons and let everyone die over misunderstandings or mishearings.
A classic case of this is Alicent Hightower’s (Olivia Cooke) misinterpretations of King Viserys Targaryen’s (Paddy Considine) recitation of Aegon the Conqueror’s dream. Rather than seek clarity about which Aegon this sickly man is prattling on about on his deathbed – especially knowing Viserys saw Rhaenyra as his successor – she just runs with it and thinks it must be about their son. Again, see the problem when everyone has the same name? Of course, there are those who would conveniently spin what Viserys said for their own intentions, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Alicent could have had a conversation with Rhaenyra, whom she evidently respects, and actually unpack the situation. No, these people would rather go to war over a game of broken telephone. Without a shadow of a doubt, these are the type of individuals who would forward fake news because they read it on the internet so it must be true.
House of the Dragon continues the trend from Game of Thrones The horrendous communication levels in House of the Dragon are no different from what’s presented in Game of Thrones. Although, one would think that maybe people would learn their lessons and not repeat the same mistakes in the future, but humans, right? Game of Thrones remains one miscommunication right after the other, as people refuse to use plain language among each other. No, they speak of three-eyed ravens and white walkers. For the love of Vhagar, why not just refer to them as mediums and zombies?!
HBOThe only people who win when communication sucks are bad actors like Little Finger (Aidan Gillen). They use the knowledge that no one speaks to each other to spread their own lies and peddle their own nonsense to get what they want – and people fall for it every single time. Hook, line, and sinker. Manipulative fiends thrive in the chaos and occupy the moments of silence that could be used to better understand the other person.
So, what can be done to fix this problem? Nothing. These characters’ lack of communication makes for entertaining television and the whole saga would be much shorter if they learned social skills. It’s not our fault that their ears are only accessories for their faces, so let’s reap the rewards.
So you want a man on his knees begging for you. Understandable, but let’s be real – the real power is knowing that you can take him or leave him even when he’s willing to worship you. Here are three dating principles you can use today to start to take your power back as a woman, not just in dating, but to elevate and improve your entire life. Ironically, these are exactly the principles that make men chase you and beg for you naturally, but that certainly won’t be your goal – just an organic side effect. Here’s what powerful, high-quality women do differently in dating that make men chase and beg for them naturally.
They decenter men. We’ve all heard the term, “decenter men.” But what does that actually mean and require? Decentering men is all about genuinely placing the focus back on you, rather than the men you’re dating, and living life with purpose while staying away from pick-me habits that tempt you to cater to a man who has not even proven himself yet to you. Often, women are taught to think about whether the man they’re dating likes them, overexert themselves and center their entire lives around the possibility of having a partner, whereas men are taught to think about and prioritize their ambitions, careers, finances, friendships, the possibility of fun or fulfilling their sexual desires, and to see relationships as a “trap” (even though, according to numerous studies, marriage actually benefits them moreso than women). As a woman, you have the power to do the same. Decentering men is not a strategy to make them chase you – it is actually a powerful self-care method that will transform your entire life, and men will chase you by default when you do it. Start treating being with and dating a man as something that takes up your resources, time, and energy excessively and demands more labor and effort than it’s worth–as a huge risk and liability to take on, especially when you’re not with the right partner. Start to worry less about how to please other people and begin to honor your desires, your emotions, your needs, and wants. Refocus on the parts of your life you’ve been needing to focus on: whether it’s pursuing your education, going after your career, leveling up in your fitness and health, strengthening your friendships, having fun, or all of the above, think about what you would want your life to look like regardless of your relationship status, and don’t wait for a partner to do it. Maybe you want to take that trip to Italy, or pursue that PhD, or go rock climbing. Whatever floats your boat, stay immersed and absorbed in your own life and build a strong self-concept. The high-quality men who are interested (as well as some men who just love a challenge – make sure you know the difference) will gravitate toward you because they’re naturally drawn to a woman who is focused on her own needs, and places herself on the pedestal.
Start deprogramming yourself and connect to your authentic desires and self so you don’t settle for less just to have a partner or a life you don’t truly want.You grew up in a patriarchy and were conditioned since you were young to seek the perfect marriage and one day become a wife and mother. But are these things you would actively choose for yourself, without your conditioning? Think very carefully about it. Read stories about regretful parents and read the research on how women fare in marriage as opposed to men (spoiler alert: women on average do not benefit from marriage unless it’s with the right partner and the marriage is a long one). Is this still the life you want and are willing to take the risks of, knowing the costs, and will you actually only settle when you have a compatible partner, versus settling down just for anybody, and that you will have to sacrifice a substantial part of your life to raising your children? If so, amazing. If not, also amazing. It’s all about coming to terms with what you authentically desire, not what society has trained you to want. Your desires are valid. Your emotions are valid. Your dreams are valid. If you want to live your life traveling and making bread, so be it. If you want to live your best life enjoying yourself, having lovers and no commitments, hell yeah. If you’re feeling angry, let yourself feel, honor, and constructively channel that anger into healthy boundaries – don’t try to be a “good girl” in a society that seeks to subdue you. Having this talk with your authentic self and cost-benefits analysis of the things you were taught to value as a woman in this society can save you years of heartache, labor, and disillusionment down the road, and keep your focus on not “getting married” or having children with just anyone, but actually grounded in the desire for only keeping to your standards and who you want to actually be and the ways you authentically want to live.
Develop emotional mastery and build a life you don’t want to detract from.Emotional mastery is the ability to take charge of your emotions and mindfully look at a problem from a bird’s eye view, rather than taking action impulsively. Building a high-quality life (filled with exciting dreams, goals, hobbies, friendships, interests, travels) is a vital part of emotional mastery because it gives you a solid foundation no matter what is happening in your dating life or romantic relationships and keeps you self-focused. Self-focused women rarely have the time or energy to chase an emotionally unavailable man, and they attract high-quality suitors to them naturally. You may be tempted to text a man who is offering you less than what you deserve, but with emotional mastery and a high-quality life keeping you booked and busy, you’re less likely to act on that impulse because this person is detracting from your quality of life. Emotional mastery also allows you to channel your emotions into your highest good. For example, if you’re constantly ruminating about an ex, you’re more likely to get out of survival mode and into healing mode when you realize that you can use this opportunity to fuel your emotions into leveling up rather than staying attached to the past, working on your education, fitness, mental health, career, finances, and all facets of your life. Pursue and chase your highest self and put yourself first. When you naturally take your focus off a man, they start to focus on and prioritize you, and honestly, that’s exactly the way nature intended it to be.
Put down the overly wordy self-help book that you’ve got clutched in your hand. While sure, you can get some good advice from a book, you might also just need a quick pick-me-up in the form of a 90-minute movie. Whatever you’re struggling with in this time of transition, there’s a movie that will make you see things from a new perspective. Whether you’re getting over a rough breakup or you finally want to start really living, I’ve got a film suggestion for you.
When you need a big change to move on, watch Under the Tuscan Sun.Buena VistaAfter a shocking and soul-crushing divorce, Frances goes on an impromptu trip to Italy for a change of scenery. When she comes across a dilapidated Tuscan villa for sale, she decides on a whim to buy it and fix it up. It’s a struggle for her, but she makes it through. If you’ve been struggling lately and considering a major life change, Under the Tuscan Sun might help you decide. Watch Under the Tuscan Sun on Hulu.
When you need a total life overhaul, watch Groundhog Day.Columbia PicturesPhil has his life all wrong, although he’d never admit it. But when he finds himself in a never-ending time loop, reliving Groundhog Day over and over, he’s got a lot of self-improvement to do to get himself out of it. Watching Phil finally become a better person, from helping those in need to becoming friends with everyone around him, it’s a quick way to empowering you to do the same. And you can do it without a time loop! Watch Groundhog Day on Amazon Video.
When you’re struggling to get out of your current situation, watch The Pursuit of Happyness.Sony PicturesWhen you’ve hit rock bottom, it’s hard to see a way out of it. But even though Chris is a single father living on the streets, he never stops trying. Not only is this a good movie for when you’re feeling hopeless, it also helps to remember it’s based on a true story. Though it may not feel like it now, you can get out of your rough situation. Watch The Pursuit of Happyness on Amazon Video.
When you can’t get over your ex, watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.Focus FeaturesWhen you go through a rough breakup, the hope is that you’ll go through all of the sadness for a while, then ultimately get over it and move on. But what if it’s been months or even years and you haven’t gotten to that last stage? In Eternal Sunshine, Joel and Clementine break up after a whirlwind romance, and Clementine decides to remove all traces of Joel from her memories. You’ll probably cry, but then again, you’ve probably already been doing a ton of that already. Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Amazon Video.
When you’re always saying no to new opportunities, watch Yes Man.Warner Bros.Another Jim Carrey banger, this one’s for the people who never go outside of their comfort zones. If you’ve found you’ve been saying no to every opportunity, watch as Carl vows to say yes to absolutely everything. Everything in his life changes, and all for the better. Honestly, this movie had a big impact on me, so why not you? Watch Yes Man on Max.
When you struggle with your emotional side, watch Inside Out.Walt DisneyEven if you’re not a pubescent girl going through hormonal and emotional upheaval, you can still benefit from Inside Out. Sometimes we get mad at ourselves for feeling the way we do. But if you imagine your different emotions as characters in your head, it might help you accept that everyone feels emotional sometimes. It’s going to be okay. Watch Inside Out on Disney+.
When you finally want to start living your best life, watch Last Holiday.Paramount PicturesYou’re stuck in a rut. That was the case with Georgia until she learned she had a terminal illness and not long to live. She takes it as an opportunity to finally do all the things she always wanted to do without worrying about what anyone will think. Regardless of what’s going wrong in your life, you’ll feel super empowered after watching this. Watch Last Holiday with a Paramount+.
Judging by this summer’s box office numbers, no one cares about the movies anymore. Well, more realistically, the public is just tired of Hollywood’s endless sequels, remakes and IP investments. But since the idea of a major studio investing in an original story in 2024 is unhinged, let’s just stick with what we know: TV. At least those sequels, remakes, and IP investments are actually good.
Of course, the biggest release this summer – outside of Season 3: Part 2 of Bridgerton – is the second season of House of the Dragon. Are you watching? Do you remember anything? Do you still know the difference between Viserys, Lucerys, and Chrysalys? And do you know which of those names I just made up? Don’t fear. I have some unfounded predictions about the new season that will catch you up in no time.
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Rhaenyra and Alicent go on a team building retreat It seems like there’s no going back for these former ride-or-dies. There was still hope back when Alicent was just slut-shaming Rhaenyra and marrying her dad, but then things escalated when Alicent accidentally ordered the murder of Rhaenyra’s boyfriend and almost stabbed her at a family meeting. That’s not to mention her son’s dragon casually devouring Rhaenyra’s son Lucerys and his dragon, Arrax. That said, I still have hope for Rhaenyra and Alicent! Maybe they’ll suddenly realize during a girls’ trip to Pentos that they’ve been used, manipulated, and turned against each other by powerful men for their entire lives. Or maybe they’ll just poison each other at breakfast.
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Daemon stops being the Internet’s boyfriendIt’s beyond me how Daemon became the “Internet’s boyfriend” after murdering his wife, grooming his niece, neglecting his children, mocking his dying brother, glorifying systemic corruption, and strangling Rhaenyra. Are y’all OK? Is that what you’re looking for on Raya? I didn’t want to turn this article into a life coaching session, but I’m thinking it’s time for a reckoning. Either y’all need better therapists or Daemon needs to spend all of Season 2 repenting and completing community service in Dorne. Only then can he earn the title of “Internet’s boyfriend.”
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Rhaenyra’s first husband returns under a mysterious new alias Remember when Rhaenyra’s first husband, Laenor, was “murdered,” inspiring a heap of think pieces about the “bury your gays” trope? But then, surprise, he was actually alive, inspiring even more think pieces about those previous, less enlightened think pieces? (“We just didn’t know back then,” they wrote, one week later.) Well, there’s definitely the possibility that Laenor could return. When things start to get boring, he’ll just sail back from wherever he’s partying – likely, the Westeros version of Fire Island – and stir things up. I’m imagining a full Count of Monte Cristo moment where he appears one night in a Venetian mask, throws a lavish party for 5,000 of his closest friends, and exacts revenge on Criston Cole for murdering his boyfriend. Then he’ll put out a hit single and debut a new line of bespoke chainmail at Braavos Fashion Week.
4.Criston Cole and Ser Larys start a crisis management firmSpeaking of Criston Cole, we’re all rooting for him to get his just deserts, right? It’s still unclear how he was able to get away with a hate crime in front of King’s Landing’s most important power players, including literally the king, without getting punished. In fact, he failed upwards in the most spectacular way! He’s now Alicent’s bodyguard. That said, I imagine that he’ll start a Better Caul Saul-like firm with Ser Larys, a.k.a. Littlefinger Lite, and become even more valuable to Alicent. (In this scenario, Criston is obviously in the Mike-like “muscle” role.) Of course, all of this will be for naught when Laenor returns and ruins Criston’s reputation by posting screenshots of his sexist and homophobic tweets from 2012.
- Aegon pulls a Justin Bieber and retires at age 19 Aegon doesn’t even want to be king! So why not just let Rhaenyra have the crown? Wouldn’t that solve everyone’s problems? (Well, technically Rhaenys could have solved everyone’s problems by torching Aegon and his mom in Season 1 Episode 9 instead of suddenly developing a conscience after bursting through the floor and murdering scores of innocent people … but I digress.) Just let the famously lazy and philandering Aegon retire at Justin Bieber-age. Team Black FTW!
ALERT: There are major spoilers for the new second part to Bridgerton Season 3. Go watch it before coming back here. I’ll wait.
We’ve all been waiting (mostly) patiently for the second part of Bridgerton Season 3 to grace our screens. After weeks of build-up thanks in large part to word-of-mouth, thirst traps, Nikola and Luke being adorable at press events, and TikToks of guys reacting to the carriage scene, it’s been a BIG lead-up. Alas, we finally got the second part yesterday and I dutifully binged all four episodes so I could write about them for you. It’s just the sacrifice I have to make as an entertainment writer. (AKA, I would have watched it regardless.)
While Penelope and Colin’s scenes weren’t as good as in Part 1 (we can get into that another time), that doesn’t mean there weren’t some stellar OMG moments in Part 2. Hopefully my walls are thick, otherwise my neighbors definitely heard me yelling at the screen. So what were the big Bridgerton moments, you ask? Let me regale you.
Benedict’s Little Giggle!Honestly, I could have just put “BENEDICT!” and you all would have understood. Everything about Part 2 was an OMG moment where that man is concerned. But even before the copious scenes with Part 2’s favorite sexy trio (hilariously spliced throughout Lady Whistledown drama), we got the OMG moment of his reaction to Tilley when she first suggested he join her and her male friend. Benedict gave a cute little smile and giggle before excusing himself to go brood over his burgeoning queer awakening for a week. We love you Benedict.
The Bugs!NetflixLeave it to Philipa Featherington Finch to have such an odd request for her ball. She wants bugs, and the more legs the better! What’s cute is that no one seems to tell her no. They’re just like, “That’s our Philipa…” Sure enough, during the Philipa/Prudence ball, she yells for the release of her bugs right after Penelope unmasks herself as Lady Whistledown. Did a bunch of creepy crawlies rain down on everyone? Nope! Instead it’s a gorgeous display of beautiful butterflies flitting around the ceiling. (Though, if you’ve seen the finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10, you know how much of a disaster this could have been.)
Francesca’s First Kiss!NetflixThis one’s an OMG in a sad kind of way. If you’d been wondering if Francesca Bridgerton and Lord John Kilmartin were kissing before their wedding ceremony, I think we can all agree that they definitely hadn’t. Up until the moment when their lips press innocently together, you’re hopefully that the bride was right when she said their love was just a slow burn. Truth be told, Francesca doesn’t react well. This isn’t the reaction you want from your first kiss. And it isn’t until a certain someone enters her life that she knows for sure she’s missing the necessary spark. Speaking of which…
Lord Kilmartin’s Cousin!NetflixOkay, I’ve never read the books, but I have had my good friend and fellow Bridgerton fan Callie fill me in on everyone’s stories. If you don’t want a mild spoiler for Francesca’s upcoming story, maybe don’t read the rest of this paragraph. Here’s the thing: John isn’t her final match. After a bit of tragedy, she ends up with his cousin. In the books, his cousin is a man. So when we’re introduced to his cousin and the show has gender-bent the character…this was hands-down the biggest OMG of the night. Not only did we get one confirmed queer character this season in Benedict, but we’re also now getting a queer story for Francesca. Color me excited.
Until the Tenties, mainstream media representation of queer people was generally curated for straight viewers. This meant that filmmakers working with queer stories had to lean into stereotypes for laughs or suffuse queer stories with tragedy in order to gain public sympathy. That’s how we ended up with weepies like Philadelphia, Boys Don’t Cry, and Brokeback Mountain.
To this day, I believe that these movies were part of a conspiracy to make queer people depressed. After all, if we saw happy endings for ourselves on screen, then we would eventually think bigger and want marriage equality or something. But if we only saw sad endings, then we would never experience joy and thus never gain enough power to turn everyone gay.
I guess we’ll never know if my theory is true or not (it is), but one thing is undeniable: Queer movies are a lot happier these days. It’s almost as if studios and streamers have remembered that at least 10% of their audience, statistically, is queer, even if not openly so. And what do queer people want? Well, the same thing everyone else wants! A bunch of undemanding movies to binge while covered in Cheeto dust on Saturday afternoons. And in that spirit, here are seven of the best queer movies with happy endings.
Oh, by the way, SPOILER ALERT. We literally just told you that these all have happy endings.
Fire Island (2022)Any adaptation of a Jane Austen novel is bound to have a happy ending. Fire Island, which follows a group of friends in the titular queer paradise, is no exception. As a bonus, the Pride and Prejudice riff features hilarious performances from stars Bowen Yang and Joel Kim Booster, as well as a bevy of spot-on cultural references.
The Thing About Harry (2020)FreeformThere’s an enduring stereotype about bi or pan men which states that they only pursue no-strings hookups with gay men, rather than committed romantic relationships, because they fear social repercussions or vulnerability. Thankfully, this rom-com challenges that stereotype by coupling the proudly pansexual Harry with the prickly gay Sam. On top of that, Harry is Sam’s former high school bully, which brings a collective queer fantasy to life. Also, the movie is directed by legendary Queer as Folk star Peter Paige!
Anything’s Possible (2022)Amazon StudiosMovies with trans characters have taken even longer to lighten up than their cis counterparts. However, thanks to director Billy Porter, this Amazon film not only delivers a trans-tastic happy ending, but accomplishes it in smart, big-hearted style. At its core, Anything’s Possible is a standard coming-of-age teen rom-com, but that’s still a step forward for inclusivity.
Bros (2022)Universal PicturesThis movie is actually good, y’all. It’s developed an unearned reputation for being mediocre due to its poor box office and because of some sassy think pieces by self-hating queers, but the movie’s satire of millennial cis white gay men is pretty spot-on. The ending is a bit contrived, but still joyful, and that’s something to celebrate. And can we blame star Billy Eichner for being salty that the movie underperformed? This was his baby.
Carol (2015)StudioCanalThis movie was almost the lesbian Brokeback Mountain – that is, a devastatingly bleak Oscar nominee, but with lesbians. However, thanks to its source novel, 1952’s The Price of Salt, the Cate Blanchett stunner spins a relatively happy ending for its two leads. That way, audiences get the trembling, forbidden queer love of classic lesbian films, but without the ending that makes them devour three tubs of ice cream.
Bottoms (2023)MGMThis hilarious movie had the most misleading name of anything in 2023, but that’s forgivable. The movie, about a pair of horny queer buddies who accidentally incite murderous chaos by trying to get laid, packs on the laughs. All of this culminates in one of the most gory and shocking happy endings of any of the rom-coms on this list.
Starrbooty (2007)Starrbooty, IncOh, you thought this list would only include “critically-acclaimed” films? Where do you get off? This send-up of blaxploitation and sexploitation films is one of the campiest, messiest, and cringiest things that RuPaul has ever written and starred in, and that’s saying a lot! That said, it also technically has a happy ending. Just check its Wikipedia page, which literally says in its Plot section: “Everyone who deserves to lives happily ever after.” I don’t know what else to tell you. This is a supremely silly and endearingly entertaining film, and as a huge plus, it features full-frontal male nudity. Who says queers can’t have it all?
One of the most common risks for people navigating addiction is contracting Hepatitis C (Hep C). Our series, Turning Points, is dedicated to giving former addicts and their partners a platform to share their recovery journeys. As part of the series, we also wanted to share valuable insights and resources about what it means to get your life back on track during the recovery process; one point being, getting tested for Hep C.
Hepatitis C is a viral infection that primarily affects the liver by causing inflammation and potentially leading to severe liver damage over time. The virus is mainly transmitted through blood-to-blood contact, which is why addicts sharing needles are of elevated risk.
What’s tricky is that Hep C often presents no symptoms in its early stages, so many addicts and former addicts don’t even know they are infected. Oftentimes people actively injecting drugs can carry and spread the virus without realizing it.
When symptoms do appear, they can include fatigue, jaundice (yellowing of the skin and eyes), dark urine, abdominal pain, and flu-like symptoms. Here’s a few stories from recovering addicts about their experiences testing positive for Hep C:
‘So I got the news I have Hep C today… I have been sober for about 4 years so this is all wild to me. I gave birth to my son 2 years ago. I am in a state of shock but still, obviously, it makes sense. How much damage has been done to my liver in 4 years? That’s all I can think about. I’m also going to have my son tested. I feel so much guilt. I’ve had chronic exhaustion for years now and it’s starting to make sense as well.’
‘I had Hep C for many years… I suffered so long with Hep C until I got treatment. The chronic exhaustion was the worst for me, and the depression and not being able to eat and always feeling sick. Ugh it was horrible.’
Getting tested for Hep C is crucial for early detection and effective management of the disease and preventing the long-term health consequences associated with the virus. Early testing allows for intervention, which reduces the risk of severe liver damage, cirrhosis, and liver cancer. So, if you happen to be in a high risk group for Hep C, such as those with a history of intravenous drug use, consider getting tested. The more you know, the more time you give yourself to take action and the more peace you can bring to your mind.
Quote source: (Reddit)
Want something to watch with your dad on Father’s Day? Look up his zodiac sign below and we’ll provide the perfect movie for him, including where to stream it.
Last month we focused on movies for mom, but this month is all about the dads out there who could use a little quality time with their kids in front of the TV. Unwind after an action-packed Father’s Day with a movie. But what do you choose? Action? A tear-jerker? Something funny and silly? The movies on this list will fit his personality, and they all have some of that fatherly flair.
Aries: Taken (2008)20th Century FoxYour Aries papa would do anything for you, including battling anyone who gets in his way if it comes to saving you from kidnappers with ill intentions. Honestly who’s a better dad than Liam Neeson filled with vengeance? Probably just your dad, and that’s it. Watch Taken on Amazon Video.
Taurus: Big Fish (2003)Sony PicturesTaurus dads are fierce when it comes to the love of their family. While they won’t always show it with words, you can bet they give the best hugs. Your dad will appreciate the emotional intensity and nuance of this tear-filled multi-generational epic. Keep the Kleenex at the ready. Watch Big Fish on Amazon Video or Pluto TV.
Gemini: We Bought a Zoo (2011)20th Century FoxA grieving single dad sees how happy his daughter is at the prospect of owning a zoo so he says, “Why not?” and signs on the dotted line. Who cares if he has no experience running a zoo? This is perfect for the chaotic Gemini dad who always kept his kids on their toes. Watch We Bought a Zoo on Disney+.
Cancer: The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)Sony PicturesWe’re picking the most tear-filled watch for the dad most likely to willingly cry in front of his kids. Starring real-life father and son Will and Jaden Smith, this is a true story about a single father just trying to pull himself out of poverty. Ouch, my heart. Watch The Pursuit of Happyness on Amazon Video or Pluto TV.
Leo: To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)Universal PicturesThis movie is for the badass dad who can’t help but command any room he walks into. Equal parts about a handsome lawyer defending a black man wrongfully accused of a crime and also a touching look at the lawyer’s relationship with his kids, there’s a good chance this is already one of your dad’s faves. Watch To Kill a Mockingbird on Tubi.
Virgo: Minari (2020)A24A dad moves his family from Korea to California in hopes of achieving the American dream, but it comes with a lot of strife and hard work that causes more drama for the family than he ever realized. This is considered by many as the best film of 2020. If this plot doesn’t scream “Virgo Dad!” I don’t know what does. Watch Minari on Max.
Libra: Finding Nemo (2003)Buena VistaA papa clown fish is in search of his missing son. It’s heart-warming, it’ll make you tear up, and it’s comedic fun for the whole family. Finding Nemo is perfect for the well-balanced Libra dad who loves a little bit of everything. And there’s a good chance you’ll get the best hug of your life after the credits roll. Watch Finding Nemo on Disney+.
Scorpio: Field of Dreams (1989)Universal PicturesOn the surface, Field of Dreams is just about cornfields and baseball, but when you drill down to it, it’s really about how we all need our dads, no matter our age. This is perfect for the Scorpio dads who have a hard time opening up even though we all know they’re emotional messes on the inside. Watch Field of Dreams on Amazon Video and Apple TV+.
Sagittarius: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)Paramount PicturesIndiana is a famous adventurer, but even he has a hard time when his dad joins along. This is what you get when your dad is just as adventurous and brave as you are, if not more-so. Watch this with your Sag dad who’s always ready for a poorly thought-out scheme. Watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade on Disney+ and Paramount+.
Capricorn: The Godfather (1972)Paramount PicturesIf anyone in the zodiac is a total godfather of their own family, it’s the Capricorn. From being the leader of the pack to resorting to any means necessary to defend the people they love, it’s a Capricorn father taking up the mantle. Watch this mob classic and he’ll totally see himself in the elder Corleone. Watch The Godfather on Paramount+.
Aquarius: Click (2006)SonyWhen Adam Sandler uses a remote to fast forward the boring bits of his life, he realizes that’s where all the fun moments are. If you want to send a message to your workaholic Aquarius dad, watch Click with him on Father’s Day. It’s a little on-the-nose, but you’ll both appreciate the sentimentality in the end. Watch Click on Hulu.
Pisces: The Lion King (1994)Walt DisneyRegarded by many as having one of the saddest moments in animated movie history, The Lion King is perfect for the Pisces dad who feels all the feelings and will show them exactly once a year. It helps that the saddest moment is surrounded by some of the best music in cinematic history, too. Watch The Lion King on Disney+.
J.Lo is having a moment. It’s not a good moment, but she’s still having it. Amid rumors that her much-touted (by her) re-commitment to Ben Affleck is re-on the rocks, she’s been plastered across tabloids across the country. To rub salt in the wound, the woman just had to cancel her This is Me…Live tour and its subsequent reincarnation, the Greatest Hits tour, due to lack of ticket sales. Cue the think pieces, which are definitely not helping. With that being said, we here at Thought Catalog are stans of brassy, talented women – even when they’re famously rude. Thus, we have decided to give J.Lo some advice.
Dear Jenny from the Block,
Double down on acting. You have some fun songs, but remember when the entire Internet came to your defense after you didn’t get Oscar-nominated for Hustlers? Maybe that’s a sign. So, to help you pick your next project after Kiss of the Spider Woman, we’ve selected three movie roles that you should use as a guide – and three that you shouldn’t.
Love, Evan E. Lambert and all of Thought Catalog
The Top 31. Hustlers (2019)STXFilmsThis one’s a no-brainer. J.Lo was heavily favored to nab an Oscar nomination for Supporting Actress for this movie, but lost out to no-names like Margot Robbie, Laura Dern and Scarlet Johansson. Basically, voters snubbed her because she wasn’t seen as a serious actress. To which I say, did they see this movie? J.Lo delivered her monologues with rizz to spare, and multiple critics called her performance as Ramona “career-defining.” Yes, methinks J.Lo should look for future roles like this one that capitalize on her toughness and physical presence.
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Maid in Manhattan (2002)Sony Pictures“J.Lo rom-coms” is a whole genre of film that spans nearly three decades, so there’d be no shame in J.Lo putting out a few more. I’d even say that she might inspire people by starring in rom-coms when she’s 54, but who am I kidding … Nobody would believe that she’s 54. This woman has injected shaman-blessed collagen-enhanced quail fetus into her eyes or something because she hasn’t aged one year. Even Nicole Kidman looks older, and she has had so much Botox that she can only move her eyeballs now, like a creepy painting that follows you when you walk. Anyway, Maid in Manhattan is a standout J.Lo rom-com, in part thanks to J.Lo’s humble role as a maid and in part due to Ralph Fiennes’ pre-Voldemort charm.
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Selena (1997)Warner Bros.Did you know that J.Lo actually began her movie career as a Golden Globe-nominated actress? Before she sang “Waiting for Tonight,” before she was Bennifer, and way before she fired all those dancers for being Virgos, J.Lo was just a no-name former backup dancer with a critically-acclaimed role as Selena Quintanilla-Pérez in Selena. Perhaps J.Lo should look back on this Golden Globe-nominated ‘90s moment and remember what motivated her to reach stardom in the first place: The desire to bring Latinx stories and entertainers into the mainstream.
The Bottom 31. Gigli (2003)Sony PicturesTo this day, I do not know what this movie is about. I just know that it has a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes and that it’s credited for tanking Ben Affleck and J.Lo’s relationship and, momentarily, Ben Affleck’s entire career. As it turns out, love does cost several things.
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Monster-in-Law (2005)New Line CinemaJane Fonda is excellent in this movie as the titular monster-in-law – and J.Lo isn’t bad, either – but the film is formulaic and contrived. We know for a fact that J.Lo has chosen better scripts before, so hopefully she remembers this going forward. She should pick roles that prioritize romance and light comedy over strained scenes of women fighting.
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This Is Me … Now: A Love Story (2024)Amazon MGM StudiosIt’s not so much that This Is Me Etc. Etc. is bad. In fact, many critics like it. It’s just that regular folks can’t get through ten minutes of this musical dancing fantasia nightmare before wondering what they’re watching. All anyone knows about this conceptual self-absorbed passion project is that it’s somehow about Ben Affleck. But even Ben Affleck isn’t sure what it’s about. And on top of that, it clearly hasn’t made the impact that J.Lo was expecting, because she just canceled her accompanying tour for it. All of this is to say that J.Lo should make more movies that are not weird art dedicated to her boyfriends.
Part 2 of Bridgerton’s Season 3 has just dropped, and here are some of the most shocking revelations from the second half of Penelope and Colin’s love story as well as Kate and Anthony’s and the Bridgerton clan. Dearest gentle readers, this article contains spoilers for Bridgerton’s Season 3, Part 2. You have been duly warned.The iconic mirror scene reveals just how much Colin has always loved Penelope. Colin loves every part of Penelope.First we had the carriage scene — now we have the iconic mirror scene. This is when Colin, after declaring his love to Penelope Featherington to her mother and defending her honor, declaring her the most eligible of the Featherington sisters, he and Penelope proceed to look into a mirror together while Colin recounts the ways he loves Penelope. This reveals the internal dialogue that has been hinted at throughout all this season through his captivated glances at Penelope. In another romantic speech for the ages, Colin invites Penelope to see herself the way he sees her, declaring, “You are the cleverest, bravest woman I’ve ever known. You make me feel seen, in ways I’ve never felt seen before. And then there’s the way your hair cascades down your shoulder, the way your eyes shine when you look at me, like two blue pools. The firmness of your lips, parted just so. The softness of your skin. And then, my love, are the parts I’ve been dreaming of…you must tell me if you wish for me to stop.” Penelope replies, “I do not wish for you to stop,” and then follows a sensual lovemaking scene that perfectly captures the first-time euphoria of being with your true love and best friend. Colin’s admiration for Penelope’s beauty in all its forms highlight how genuine love is about both physical and mental attraction and compatibility.
Anthony and Kate’s big news reveals that true love leads to long-term happiness that can last for generations, but the marriage has to be between people who are truly aligned with each other.Kate and Anthony are true partners aligned in mind, body, and soul, which is why their marriage thrives.If you don’t want to be spoiled before you watch Part 2, get on with watching already before you read this, because it’s too good to miss. In the very first episode, viewers will likely let out a primal scream of joy when they realize Colin and Penelope aren’t the only ones who’ve been hiding a big secret — Anthony and Kate have big news too. In a carriage scene of their own as they return to the Bridgerton family home, Anthony looks longingly at Kate as per usual and she jokingly chides him, hoping he’s thinking pure thoughts. He responds, “I am simply enjoying the view of my ravishing wife…and soon to be mother of my child.” Gasp! They are expecting their first child together, but hold off on sharing their news to let Penelope and Colin shine in their betrothal. What a considerate couple, and they get even more adorable every season we see them on screen. Kate Sharma’s beauty has always been dazzling, but she exudes an even more euphoric glow this season as she and Anthony flourish in post-marital bliss. Some marriages do not have the connection and compatibility they do, which is why they falter. Their marriage shows a true union of mind, body, spirit, and soul, and that is why it such a happy one.
Francesca finds her other half, someone just as unique as she is, proving we shouldn’t settle until we find someone who’s truly compatible with us.Francesca has a thing for the quirky, silent types like the earl of Kilmartin.True love doesn’t always have to be loud and grand – often, it’s found in the gracefully potent and deep understanding between people. As Kate profoundly declared in the second season, “True love is something else entirely. It is when the rest of the world goes quiet. It is not eyes that meet, but souls that dance. Settle into each other. Make room for each other. Until there is nowhere else to hide.” This quote perfectly sums up Francesca’s courtship with John, the earl of Kilmartin, which is found in earnest, enjoyable mutual silence and their shared love for music, and quirky fixations. Francesca meets her match in John after unsatisfying attempts to connect with suitors who are all too boisterous and overwhelming for her, as she loves solitude, quiet peace, and the more gentler side of life. Yet she does not settle for what does not suit her, and that is what allows her to meet the romantic match most suitable for her (although, to be fair, the shocking arrival of Michaela, a twist on a vital part of her love story with “Michael” in the books, may mean the marriage fares differently). In Part 2 of Season 3, we see this joyous union culminating and being celebrated in marriage, and as her mother tells Francesca on her wedding day, “I thought that is the way love must be for everyone. Surprising, forceful, quick. But you have shown me that there is another way.”
Colin discovers the identity of Lady Whistledown, the ultimate test of his love, and Penelope rediscovers her self-love for who she truly is.Colin comes to terms with the fact that his wife shines and is honored to soak up even a bit of her light.In a jaw-dropping scene for the ages, Colin finally discovers that his bride-to-be Penelope is none other than Lady Whistledown herself, the very woman who has written pages upon pages about his own family in her own “press” (after she is threatened by Cressida to reveal her identity). He is initially distraught and behaves immaturely but gradually comes to terms with it, reflecting on how Penelope’s position of power as a writer that moves the masses stirred envy within him. This kind of self-reflection, ability to be introspective, and take accountability for one’s own issues is much needed in healthy relationships and is something most envious partners would not admit to, so we applaud him for that. This gives him a partial redemption, although we still do not completely forgive him for making Penelope’s wedding night tumultuous. That being said, in another big showdown scene where Colin appears to support Penelope from afar, Penelope reveals to the ton exactly who she’s been all along, and poignantly shares her journey from emerging from being a wallflower to creating a vibrant life and power of her own through her words. Colin calls Penelope’s speech “bloody brilliant,” and realizes that while he tried desperately to separate Lady Whistledown’s persona from Penelope and was initially jealous deep down, he realizes he cannot separate the two because she is a vital part of Penelope, the core of who she is, and proclaims that if his only purpose in life is to love a woman as great and brave as her, he will be a very fulfilled man indeed. This scene reminds viewers that your true love will accept your multifacetedness, not deny it, and will cheer on your success and authenticity, and encourage you to be the highest version of yourself as you pursue your dreams. Penelope’s speech to society is also just as romantic and meaningful as Colin’s love speech to Penelope—it is a speech of self-love and owning one’s identity and strengths, which is perhaps most important and sacred love of all. As Penelope comes to own who she is, she finds an even truer, more authentic love—one that accepts her for who she truly is, and not just who she presents herself to be.
Bisexuality is often underrepresented in films but these movies capture the rich complexities of women exploring their sexuality and becoming awakened to the full spectrum of their desires. Here are the eight must-watch films that highlight bisexuality in women in creative ways that may be empowering for viewers on their own road to self-discovery.Imagine Me and YouYour wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life—unless you meet the actual love of your life right before you physically meet your husband-to-be at the altar that is. Piper Perabo stars as Rachel in this delightfully serendipitous rom-com as she experiences a magnetic attraction and “love at first sight” with wedding guest flower shop owner, Luce, played by Game of Thrones star Lena Headey. Distraught by her true feelings, Rachel tries to keep her composure, but the universe seems to keep bringing her and Luce back together again.
Kissing Jessica SteinIn her search for Mr. Right, twenty-something Jessica Stein finds an intriguing personals ad in the newspaper placed by Helen Cooper, a woman looking to explore her sexuality with other women after a number of unsatisfying trysts with men. As both Jessica and Helen explore their sexuality together and grow closer, sparks fly (albeit awkwardly at first) and both are challenged to delve into their sense of identity, personal growth, and integrate their newfound self-discovery into other facets of their lives.
Jennifer’s BodyA cult classic comedy horror hybrid starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer’s Body wins the realm of bisexuality in film with Jennifer’s comedic line, “I go both ways” in response to the claim that Jennifer only kills high school boys. When popular girl Jennifer is brutalized by a band of men using her for a ritual sacrifice, she is later possessed by a demon that jumpstarts her appetite for human flesh, and begins preying on high school boys as her primary victims. Jennifer’s Body teases the homoerotic attraction between best friends Jennifer and Needy and features one of the most steamiest kisses between two women in film history.
The RunawaysIn The Runaways, Kristen Stewart plays young rockstar Joan Jett who has a sexual relationship with her band member Cherie Currie (played by Dakota Fanning). Since the real life Cherie Currie declared that Joan Jett was good in bed, we can assume these aspects of the film are true to life. While explicit sexual labels themselves are not explored much in the film, the journey between these two women as they rise to stardom and strengthen their bond is certainly a tantalizing must-watch for anyone exploring their sexuality, or even just anyone who wants to watch two badass women rise to fame.
LovesongIn Lovesong, main character Sarah is a stay-at-home mom who is often neglected by her husband who is constantly away on business. When she reconnects with an old college flame from college, Mindy, on a spontaneous road trip, the two reignite a fiery passion between them. Lovesong is a euphoric film about the irresistible nature of first love and missed connections.
Black SwanNatalie Portman plays Nina Sayers, a timid, controlling, and perfectionistic professional dancer who feels compared and compelled to compete with her carefree and sensual fellow Swan Lake dancer, Lily. Nina appears to experience hallucinations throughout the movie which involve a titillating sexual relationship with Lily that underscores their competition with one another. While Black Swan is more of a psychological thriller than a self-discovery film, it incorporates elements of bisexual awakening and romantic obsession that may resonate with viewers.
ChloeChloe is a dark and suspenseful psychological thriller film that explores the hidden desires of doctor Catherine (played by Julianne Moore) who is married to her professor husband David (played by Liam Neeson). When she suspects her husband may be cheating on her, she tests his loyalty by hiring an escort, Chloe (Amanda Seyfried), to try to seduce him. However, this plan backfires when Chloe claims David has engaged in an affair with her and begins to “comfort” Catherine by seducing her, leading Catherine to a new sexual awakening.
DisobedienceDisobedience explores the forbidden romance between childhood friends, New York photographer Ronit and now married woman Esti in the backdrop of a strict Orthodox Jewish community which scapegoats Ronit for getting involved with another woman. This film is a tortured love story about two women who aren’t free to be with the people they love due to the stigmas of society.
BottomsBottoms is a hilarious comedy that explores all shades of sexuality in women and is a fun watch for anyone no matter who you’re attracted to. While Bottoms features two lesbian characters as the main leads of the film who start a fight club for women all as a guise to score points with their crushes and to lose their virginity, it explores potential bisexuality in the women they try to get the attention of. No one can forget the epic distinction that is drawn near the end of the film when one of the characters in the movie proclaims in sudden revelation, “Oh my God! I am gay!” while watching one of the main characters kiss another woman, and another one of these characters melodramatically responds, “I am not. I just like watching gay prn.” Given that this pokes fun at what is actually a common phenomenon documented in straight women, Bottoms* gets major props for its realness, nuance, and hilarity, and for its wide appeal for a variety of audiences, no matter what sexual orientation you identify with.
Honorary Mention: But I’m A CheerleaderWhile this classic comedy starring Natasha Lyonne is not focused on bisexuality since cheerleader Megan identifies as a lesbian and fantasizes about her fellow cheerleaders while kissing her boyfriend Jared, Megan’s journey may still resonate with women on all parts of the spectrum of sexuality including bisexual women. When Megan is forced to go to the conversion therapy camp True Directions by her family, she begins to confront the desires she is trying to repress and eventually comes to accept her sexuality as she pursues a relationship with fellow therapy member Graham. Both have their own unique resistance to their sexuality but overcome it together in this hilarious coming-of-age comedy that appeals to and can empower many diverse audiences regardless of their sexual orientation.
In thirty-four states here in America, simply living with HIV can land you with a criminal record and, in some of those thirty-four states, can get you a place on the sex offender registry. Oh, and even better, in most cases, actually transmitting the virus to another person is not required to face criminal action! Simply not disclosing your status to a partner, regardless of whether you are undetectable and unable to transmit the virus, makes you a criminal!
How are we ever going to eradicate HIV if we continue to vilify and stigmatize those of us who are living with the virus with the threat of being locked up? The simple answer: we won’t.
In the 1980s, states began passing HIV-specific criminal exposure laws out of fear and lack of information regarding HIV transmission. Many of the penalties were given for failing to disclose status to partners, and for exposing others to the virus, and as I mentioned above, none required proof that transmission had occurred. Ok, so that was forty years ago. Why haven’t the laws kept pace with the science then? Why is it that many of these laws show a lack of understanding and reflect false assumptions, such as criminalizing biting or spitting by a person living with HIV, even though you cannot transmit HIV through saliva?
Where is the disconnect? Why haven’t the states been able to keep up with the science? Why are people still being thrown in prison when there is absolutely ZERO risk of transmission of HIV if you are healthy and undetectable? And why does the law and society as a whole still demand that I, a healthy, undetectable person living with HIV, unable to transmit the virus to a partner sexually, MUST disclose my medical history upfront? Why don’t we demand that people with diabetes and heart disease also share their medical history with someone before they jump into bed? Is there not a risk of them having a blood sugar spike episode or a heart attack in the throes of wild, raunchy sex? Surely witnessing a partner go into full cardiac arrest while making whoopie would leave deep psychological issues for the other person, which one could argue is far more “damaging” than the nonexistent risk I pose just because I’m living with HIV?
And let’s not gloss over the fact that many of these laws disproportionately affect marginalized populations such as communities of color, transgender women, and sex workers. We already know that these populations are already more likely to be adversely affected by social determinants of health and racial inequalities. A report on Tennessee by the Williams Institute shows that as of 2022, Black women are 290 times more likely to be on the sex offender registry for an HIV conviction than white men.
Then there’s the whole burden of proof issue. Unless I’m having sexual partners sign a written statement or making a video in which they acknowledge and understand that I have disclosed my HIV status to them, it comes down to he said / he said or he said/ she said, or they said / they said. Because nothing quite gets the mood even more steamy and sexy than asking someone to scribble their name on a piece of paper saying they waive all rights to report you to authorities moving forward. By the way, have I mentioned that if you’re undetectable, there is NO risk of HIV transmission to a partner?!
Right now, there are people sitting in prisons and living as registered sex offenders because a partner decided after the fact to report them. All it takes is a messy breakup or a disgruntled ex to walk into a police station and say, “Oh yeah, they never said anything about their HIV status,” and just like that, a life is ruined. Simply having sex with someone, even if that person is a long-term committed partner at the time, even living together, can land us with years of prison time as convicted felons and sex offenders. Once you’ve been convicted, it never goes away.
Study after study and expert after expert all show that these laws do not prevent transmissions. According to the American Psychological Association, these laws can actually increase “risky” behavior when it comes to HIV and, therefore, do more harm than good. When we criminalize HIV, the evidence shows that people are afraid they will be arrested if they test positive. So, guess what, they don’t test. And if they don’t test, we can’t get them into treatment and that right there is one of the biggest barriers to ending the epidemic. Plain and simple, these laws are stopping the fight to end HIV globally by 2030.
I spend a lot of time on television, through my platform @PlusLifeMedia, and whenever and whenever else I am given the opportunity, telling people that an HIV diagnosis is just that, it’s not the end of your life like so many people believe. I do everything in my power to encourage people to get tested, to know their status, and if they find out that they’re HIV positive, to get on treatment and get back to loving life. Thanks to the science and amazing people who have dedicated their lives to fighting this virus, we can live absolutely long and healthy lives just like everyone else. Except, we can’t. Because of these laws that exist, we’re not being treated just like everyone else. We are unfairly and unscientifically targeted and expected to disclose our medical history to avoid the potential of criminal prosecution. Someone reading this right now who was recently diagnosed with HIV may be finding out for the first time that these laws exist. How are we supposed to feel comfortable about engaging in normal, healthy sexual behavior and sexual relationships knowing about stigmatizing, unscientifically backed laws? What’s “normal” about that?
As my good friend, fellow activist, and one-time registered sex offender Lashanda Salinas, who spent time locked up because her partner claimed she didn’t disclose her status, says, “Current scientific and medical evidence should inform state lawmakers and practices that criminalize actions taken by people living with HIV. States should update and repeal outdated laws and policies.” She is 100% correct. We need to do more to educate legislators on HIV and HIV criminalization.
It’s not all doom and gloom, however. There has been some progress, and I guess something is better than nothing. There are some states that have been modernizing their HIV criminalization laws. Since 2014, thirteen states have instituted changes, but it’s not enough. Until we see a complete repeal of HIV-specific laws, including eliminating sex offender registration for those convicted under revised laws, eliminating the bizarre sentence enhancements for sex workers living with HIV, and the idiotic lack of evidence or proof to show the intent of transmission, we will simply never get on top of this.
If there is a silver lining to any of this, thanks to the efforts of organizations like The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, The Sero Project, and others, the HIV decriminalization movement now means that if someone is facing prosecution or coming out of prison, there is a network of people doing the work to end these laws. There are people who can stand up for others and are willing to be examples.
It’s 2024, not 1984. No one should be made to feel less than or worried about engaging in consensual legal sexual activity because of their HIV status. Not until we throw out these outdated laws can those of us living with HIV truly feel that we are just like everyone else. Until then, I guess having HIV is a crime.
There’s nothing quite like the gradual start of summer. With the gorgeous weather of spring starting to grow warmer and warmer, everyone can look ahead to the bountiful joys that come with the new season. Above all else, most families can look forward to the beginning of summer vacation, allowing children and teens of all ages to enjoy some much-needed time off from school.
To coincide with the new season, we decided to look back at some of the many teen comedies that eloquently capture the carefree tone of summer. From cult classic musicals to riveting sports comedies, these teen movies will have you pining for warmer weather, out-of-control parties, and the meaningful friendships that characterize late adolescence and early adulthood.
Superbad (2007)Sony PicturesFew moments in life are as cathartic as graduating from high school. With the burdens of childhood behind you and the larger expanse of the future at your feet, the end of high school makes for an exciting–if somewhat terrifying–experience to grapple with. Capturing these two contrasting feelings in a hilarious and straightforward manner, Superbad might just serve as the ultimate teen comedy of the 2000s, as well as the best film to feature the comedic might of Seth Rogen and company in action. Loaded with endlessly quotable lines and laugh-out-loud funny moments, it’s the kind of movie that will have audiences grinning from ear to ear throughout. Watch Superbad on Prime Video.
Booksmart (2019)United ArtistsThe stylistic successor to Superbad, Booksmart intelligently captures the same poignant themes as its 2000s predecessor, swapping out Jonah Hill and Michael Cera’s awkward seniors for Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever’s academic overachievers. As with Superbad, Booksmart tackles the uncertainty of life following high school graduation, including the debilitating fear of losing touch with your childhood best friends. Alternating between energetic comedy and genuinely emotional sequences, it’s that rare comedy that forces viewers to laugh even as they reflect on their more meaningful friendships from the past. Watch Booksmart on Amazon Video.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)Paramount PicturesThough it’s not technically set against the backdrop of summer vacation, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off encourages every viewer to seize the moment and live each day to its absolute fullest. Taking a break from school and setting off on his own whirlwind of adventures, Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) and his friends manage to effectively illustrate that life is meant to be enjoyed, allowing us to glory in each and every moment before it passes us by. Watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on Hulu and Paramount+.
The Sandlot (1993)20th Century FoxThe word “summer” tends to conjure up a multitude of images in most people’s minds, be it ketchup-smothered hot dogs, outdoor barbecues, or a backyard game of baseball played by the neighborhood’s youngest residents. Such is the premise behind the nostalgic ‘90s sports comedy The Sandlot, a film focused on several pre-teen boys who bond over their shared love of baseball. Floating along with the ease of a hot-flying baseball, The Sandlot makes for a fast-paced family comedy that somehow entertains those who adore sports, as well those unable to sit through a baseball game in its entirety. Watch The Sandlot on Disney+.
American Graffiti (1973)Universal PicturesThe granddaddy of modern teen comedies, without American Graffiti, it’s almost certain there’d be no Superbad, Booksmart, or Dazed and Confused (in short, no decent teen comedies to coincide with summer at all). The breakout film for a young George Lucas, American Graffiti looked back to Lucas’s earliest upbringing in early 1960s California–a decade marked by souped-up hot rods, plucky rock and roll songs, and enough moussed hair to oil a Boeing 747. Throughout it all, Lucas found a way to combine the overarching joys and anxieties that come with early adulthood, including a budding sense of uncertainty about the future. Watch American Graffiti on Netflix.
Grease (1978)Paramount PicturesDoes any song accurately sum up the lax summer season to the same extent as “Summer Days”? Quite possibly the most iconic musical of the 1970s, Grease winds the clocks back to the late 1950s, complete with humorous allusions to period-authentic rock songs, Elvis movies, and leather jacket-clad greasers obsessed with their social image. Between its incredible soundtrack and elaborate dance numbers, Grease makes for a delightful teen comedy that you’ll be tapping your foot along to the moment the opening credits begin to play. Watch Grease on Amazon Video.
It’s Pride Month! That means it’s time to catch up on all of the wonderful, queer movies and shows that your streaming service has packaged in a cute little category for your viewing pleasure. If you’re sapphic or a sapphic movie lover, there are obvious favorites like Carol and But I’m A Cheerleader, but where’s the love for some other WLW movies? Here are 7 to catch up on this glorious month of June.
Bound (1996)Summit EntertainmentBound is a 1996 movie directed by The Wachowski’s, both of whom are mostly known for directing The Matrix. Starring Jennifer Tilly as Violet and Gina Gershon as Corky, the two women unexpectedly cross paths when they meet in an elevator. Violet is the girlfriend of a super-aggressive gangster and Corky has just gotten out of prison and is working on renovating the apartment next to Violet. The two can’t keep their eyes or hands off each other. Of course, it’s not so easy for Violet to leave her gangster partner, so the two create a plan to steal money and make it out alive so they can live their best life loving each other. Bound is incredibly 90s and you’ll either be obsessed with Violet’s aesthetic, Corky’s seemingly bad-girl vibes, or their intricate and somewhat forbidden love. Watch Bound on Paramount+ with Showtime.
The Watermelon Woman (1997)First Run FeaturesThe Watermelon Woman is a film within a film about an aspiring black lesbian filmmaker, Cheryl, who is researching black actresses and how they are ultimately forgotten by time. This research leads her to start investigating The Watermelon Woman, a 1930s performer whose story is inspiring to Cheryl. The Watermelon Woman is actually the first full-length feature film that was directed by an out lesbian and black filmmaker, so if the story isn’t interesting or inspiring enough to you, the history and how monumental this type of film is definitely should be. The film also has some funny one-offs, like how Cheryl visits the Center for Lesbian Information and Technology. If you were to put that center into acronym form, it would be called the CLIT. Amazing, truly amazing. Watch The Watermelon Woman on Max.
Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)Universal PicturesFried Green Tomatoes is a beautiful classic that doesn’t get enough love in terms of a lesbian-centered film. The movie is based on the book, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, and stars Kathy Bates, Mary-Louise Parker, and Mary Stuart Masterson as the not-explicitly-mentioned lesbian leads. In the movie, two different timelines are expressed, one of the present and one in the past where Idgie (Masterson) and Ruth (Parker) fall in love. Ruth is dating Idgie’s brother, Buddy (Chris O’Donnell), but he is tragically killed. Idgie runs away but after some years, comes back and is forced to spend the summer with Ruth. This is when the two women fall in love, even though it is never explicitly said that they are dating. The two women deal with domestic abuse, handling trauma, and an eventual murder trial together entirely by each other’s side. Fried Green Tomatoes is wholesome and will make your tear ducts work just a little. Watch Fried Green Tomatoes on Prime Video.
Portrait Of A Marriage (1990)BBC TwoPortrait Of A Marriage tells the story of a real-life love affair between a feminist writer and a novelist after World War I in England. Vita Sackville-West (Janet McTeer) and Violet Keppel (Cathryn Harrison) dive head-first into a steamy romance after spending their whole lives as close friends. The problem with this is that Vita is married to Harold (David Haig), who actually admits to her that he likes to sleep with other men. Harold and Vita love each other but ultimately aren’t fulfilled in the same sexual way they should be as husband and wife, so Vita and Violet pursue their connection in an incredibly tense and carnal way. If you’re a fan of period pieces, you’ll love the backdrop of post-war England weaved in with the intricacies of women loving women.
Pariah (2011)Focus FeaturesPariah is a great coming-of-age story for a lesbian trying to figure out her identity and all that comes with it. Alike (Adepero Oduye) is a Brooklyn native who is quietly embracing her sexuality and identity and is searching for that first wlw relationship. The film was made by Dee Rees and she refers to it as being semi-autobiographical in nature. Knowing that tidbit of information makes so much sense when you watch the film, because it is incredibly real and relatable for a coming out story and figuring out your identity and trying to own it. Pariah follows the good, bad, and ugly when it comes to facing a life that isn’t entirely built for queer kids and how being your authentic self can be terrifying but incredibly liberating at the same time. Watch Pariah on Prime Video.
Saving Face (2005)Sony PicturesSaving Face is one of the lesbian romances that actually has a happy ending, which is incredibly hard to find. Wil (Michelle Krusiec) and Vivian (Lynn Chen) have a budding relationship, but things start to get complicated when Wil is unwilling to come out to her very traditional Chinese family and also her 48-year-old mother is pregnant by someone who she will not name. Wil’s mother gets kicked out of her parents’ home and is forced to live with Wil and that is where the challenges for Wil and Vivian start. In order for the two women to remain together, Wil has to figure out how to come out to a community that isn’t accepting of queer people and how to keep her relationship strong. Watch Saving Face on Tubi.
Desert Hearts (1985)The Samuel Goldwyn CompanyDesert Hearts is a lesbian romance that is set in the 1950s between a strait-laced professor and an unconventional woman in Reno, Nevada. Helen Shaver stars as the professor, Vivian, and Patricia Charbonneau is the unconventional lover, Cay. Vivian divorces her husband in New York and decides she wants to travel and get away from that break-up, only to meet Cay, where she falls in love with her. What is special about Desert Hearts is that it showcases how you don’t have to have everything figured out by your 30s and being a late-in-life lesbian isn’t a negative. There is no timeline for figuring yourself out and falling in love and queer joy is readily available for anyone. Watch Desert Hearts on Max.
What actually makes a man husband or boyfriend material? These four traits are astoundingly rare, yet these are exactly the traits you want to look for if you’re looking for a high-quality man. A genuine provider mindset that stems from an authentic desire to see you happy.There’s nothing sexier than a guy who says, “I’ve got this,” when it comes to paying the bill, or offering a solution to your problems, from a place of genuine generosity and wanting to make his girlfriend or wife happy, rather than a sense of, “You owe me.” In fact, high-quality men would be ashamed not to give to the woman he’s courting, and often practice this provider mindset throughout marriage. The entitled man who practices a “50-50” mindset pays for dinner or romances a woman expecting sex in return (this type of man is the real “gold digger” of society, given that we live in a patriarchal one where women take a risk any time they go out on a date), while the genuinely generous man can’t wait to see you enjoying yourself as he romances you. When you’re with an authentically generous man, you’ll never have to see the bill and you’ll never have to worry about small inconveniences. They anticipate your problems even before you’ve thought about how to solve them. If you tell a generous man that you’re having trouble starting your car, they’re already on their way to you as your special form of Triple A. If you tell them you’re sick, they’re already having everything you need delivered to you without you asking. This generosity extends to how he treats you emotionally too: men who are authentically generous are giving in other aspects of their lives, affectionate, attentive, good in bed, and they make the best fathers.
He is laser-focused on you in healthy ways, and his loyalty is driven by who he is, not a lack of options.The high-quality man is not a man without options – he often has it in spades. The difference is, unlike a low-quality man, he’s not chasing after others nor does he indulge in having a wandering eye, because he already knows his wife or girlfriend is the one for him and appreciates how irreplaceable and remarkable you are. Yet it’s not just his love for you that prevents him from cheating – it’s his core character as a trustworthy man. He simply doesn’t care to cheat on anyone or hurt anyone. He respects women on a deep level and does not engage in activities that may seem shady, such as emotional affairs, social media indiscretions, “girl best friends,” flirtations, or attempts to make you jealous. He cares about what makes you comfortable and will opt out of interactions he senses you feel tense about. He cherishes your beauty, humor, intelligence, multifacetedness, and uniqueness. To him, his wife or girlfriend is his “number one,” and he’s never going to make you compete or compare.
Curiosity about what sparks joy in you and support of your dreams and interests. The most insecure, low-quality, underachieving men are often the ones professing, “I don’t care about a woman’s achievements,” loudly and proudly because they know the women they date easily surpass them in success and they don’t want to feel emasculated. A curious man is a deeply interested and thoughtful man, one who carefully takes the time to get to know your passions, ambitions, goals, hobbies, interests, personality, likes, dislikes – not to use that information against you, but to better understand how to bring greater joy into your life. They give you healthy praise about your achievements and demonstrate genuine awe and admiration of your talents and strengths. They are your biggest cheerleader, and that is exactly how a loving husband should be. Celebrating that new promotion? They’ll take you out to dinner to celebrate or bring you flowers. They’ll plan thoughtful gifts and gestures based on your interests and hobbies. Told them you love running outdoors, but can’t stand the heat? They’ve already packed a backpack filled with all the essentials for your next morning run. High-quality men take in what you tell them carefully, and they actually apply it to strengthen the relationship and uplift you on a consistent basis.
Empathy, integrity, and open communication. Society often tells women to communicate openly about their needs, but it never takes into consideration that many women often over-communicate with their husbands and boyfriends, often to no avail. That’s because a man doesn’t listen to words, he listens to actions. With a high-quality man, there will never be the need to over-explain because he already understands immediately what needs to be done to fix any problem, being the natural problem-solver that he is. In fact, he doesn’t create problems in the first place to have to discuss because he has integrity and acts with good character. A man who is open and empathic with just the right amount of tact is a special unicorn. He is consistent, loving, and respectful. He cares about your feelings and knows how to treat you well even during times of potential conflict. He is open to talking things out rather than letting things fester; he is emotionally intelligent and mature. His words match his actions, and he never becomes a different person just because he didn’t get what he wanted; his dignity and integrity remain intact. His communication never veers on cruelty, contempt, or a need to downplay or diminish you – he anticipates what will hurt you and goes out of his way to avoid it. His ego is not easily bruised by healthy feedback and thus he does not lash out when he is presented with being held accountable. He is willing to look at his own flaws and shortcomings honestly and with a willingness to always become a higher version of himself. This is a man who holds himself accountable for being a better man, even when he is already the best of the best.
Are you a true Disney fan? If so, then you should know about this huge Snow White misquote. Is this a Mandela Effect?Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is one of the most well known Disney movies out there, for many reasons. Not only does it feature beautiful tunes, it is the first full-length animated Disney movie ever. With that being said, what if we told you, one of the most iconic lines in the movie, is not what you think it is? Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho, we’re off to blow your minds!
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall — who’s the fairest of them all?”Even if you haven’t seen Snow White, you’ve definitely heard that line once or twice in your life. It’s an iconic line attributed to everyone’s favorite Disney villain. But what if we told you, that isn’t even what the Evil Queen proclaimed? Listen closely to the following clip below.
If you just played back that footage, you’ll actually realize that the Evil Queen actually said “Magic mirror on the wall who is the fairest one of all?” If we want to be technical though, the original Brothers Grimm story did indeed say “mirror mirror”, but let’s be honest: We all know this iconic line from the Disney classic and not the ancient fairy tale.
Mandela Effects truly are a mix of misconception and misinformation, however sometimes it really does feel like cases like this are parallel dimensions. Even Disney itself gets it wrong, branding products with “mirror mirror,” so truly, we can push some of the blame on them. Did you remember this line all wrong?
June 2024 marks the 40-year anniversary of Ivan Reitman’s Ghostbusters. Starring Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, Dan Aykroyd as Ray Stantz, Harold Ramis as Egon Spengler, and Ernie Hudson as Winston Zeddemore, the film captured the hearts of fans around the globe with its spooky premise and comedic characters that felt ripped out of the pages of a comic book. From the belongs-on-a-t-shirt logo to the Taylor-Swift-could-never-do-this theme song, there’s no getting around the cultural significance of this movie as it’s a multi-generational joy that never gets old – no matter how many times the VHS tape gets worn out.
Despite this pop-culture achievement, every film in the franchise that came afterward struggled to make a mark. Each sequel and reboot tried to re-bottle the magic of the original movie, but failed dismally (with only Ghostbusters II being worthy enough of touching the proton pack, but only a little). But why can’t that feeling, that pure euphoria, be rediscovered?
Ghostbusters is about the team coming together – not the ghostsColumbia PicturesPutting on Ghostbusters for a rewatch, what’s clear is that Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston aren’t traditional heroes. Each of them has their own quirks and mannerisms, but they are the furthest thing from action protagonists. They are everyday men and that’s what makes their feats much more memorable. They beat the odds, prove the naysayers wrong, and become heroes in the end.
Once they start doing it over and over again, though, it becomes less special. Suddenly, they are well-equipped and experienced to battle ghouls, knowing all the tricks of the trade and how to contain these monsters. They are no longer amateurs here; they are the experts. This takes away the interest from them as characters and places the intrigue on the supernatural threats. When filmmakers do that, it’s where it becomes too cartoony – and for that, The Real Ghostbusters already exists for fans who want a monster-of-the-week animated series.
What made Ghostbusters special is witnessing how they banded together to make this “business” work. It was never about the ghosts (or Zuul, despite what the internet will tell you); this was about four guys making a wacky idea work and establishing themselves as icons for the working-class person. It’s the epitome of the American dream – but with Slimer.
The 2016 reboot didn’t workSony PicturesPaul Feig’s gender-swapped Ghostbusters reboot isn’t a terrible movie by any means, despite how much the cartoon avatar social media trolls will beat their chests and proclaim it to be “dA wOrZt tHiNg eVa!!!” In fact, it holds a number of funny jokes and gags, while Chris Hemsworth’s Kevin Beckman is the quiet MVP of the film. The problem with 2016’s Ghostbusters is that it’s labeled Ghostbusters but doesn’t contain Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston. It’s like an episode of The Simpsons without the Simpsons.
While Melissa McCarthy’s Abby Yates, Kristin Wiig’s Erin Gilbert, Kate McKinnon’s Jillian Holtzmann, and Leslie Jones’ Patty Tolan have their own story of how they form the team, this is a deliberate cash-in on the Ghostbusters franchise and everyone saw right through it. If the filmmakers had changed the name of the movie and a few minor details, it’s likely the reception would have been different. After all, no one can copyright the idea of ghost-busting – just take a look at the 1975 live-action series known as The Ghost Busters as an example. Instead, Feig’s film made the cardinal mistake of rebooting a fan-favorite property and ignoring the core of what made it special: The original team. Phew! Starting to sound like a broken record here.
The Afterlife and Frozen Empire formula ran out of steam fastSony PicturesAfter the failure of the 2016 reboot, a decision was taken to bring back the original cast – bar Ramis who had sadly passed away – and pass on the baton to the next generation in Ghostbusters: Afterlife. While the film does its best to pay tribute to the past and include the original team in the mix, it turns into fan service rather fast and feels about as wise as the person who made the ill-fated Team Knight Rider.
Afterlife‘s sequel, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, is more of the same, as it takes the new team to New York and tries to establish the next chapter in the Ghostbusters legacy. Even more tragic is how the original team falls further into the background than before. And much like the other films – bar the original – the most compelling part of the movie becomes the supernatural threat and not the protagonists. Sound familiar?
Again, this all comes back to 1984’s Ghostbusters and what makes it connect with audiences to this day. There are tons of films out there about ghouls and goblins – with probably better special effects too – but this was never the story hook in the first place. Ghost-busting is secondary to the characters, despite the deceitful title. Peter summed it up perfectly in the film, saying: “We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.” What more is there for him and his pals to do? Unless the franchise has something important to say about them once again, it’s best to leave well enough alone here.
Time for some summer love!
It’s summer, babes! And you know what that means: Sunshine warming your skin, nights under the stars, and the prospect of an earth-shattering summer love. I’m not saying you should stay inside all summer watching rom-coms, but if you have a night when you just want to cuddle up and feel butterflies, try these summer romantic comedies. Just look for your zodiac sign and I’ll tell you exactly what to watch (and where to watch it.)
Aries: Camp Rock (2008)DisneyYou don’t care how old you get, you will always love the idea of a fun summer camp romance. Are you Demi Lovato, the new kid proving that you can sing like the best of them? Or are you Joe Jonas, the bad boy relegated to teaching your fellow teens how to let loose on the stage? Watch Camp Rock on Disney+.
Taurus: Palm Springs (2020)HuluYou want a love that transcends time. How about a Groundhog Day-esque time loop instead? The pair keep reliving the same summer day in Palm Springs and need to figure out a way to get un-stuck. Many consider Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti’s Palm Springs to be the best rom-com of the last decade. Watch Palm Springs on Hulu.
Gemini: Aquamarine (2006)20th Century FoxYou want your summer rom-coms to be silly and absurd, thanks. In that case, check out Aquamarine, in which a mermaid comes on land to fall in love and prove to her father that romance transcends species. You’ll either have a huge shot of nostalgia or finally see this for ’00s masterpiece that it is. Watch Aquamarine on Disney+.
Cancer: Mamma Mia! (2008)Universal PicturesSophie’s getting married and she secretly invites the three men her mom had a simmer fling with–and one of them could be her dad. You’re usually the mom of the group, even if you don’t have kids. So watching the dual romances of Sophie and her mother Donna is exactly want you want in a summer rom-com. Watch Mamma Mia! on Max.
Leo: Dirty Dancing (1987)Vestron Pictures“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” You want to be treated like the main character by the people you love, so you’ll definitely identify with Baby in this 1980s classic. She feels left out and forgotten when her family goes to a resort for the summer–until she meets sexy-dancing, misunderstood bad boy Johnny Castle. Watch Dirty Dancing on Amazon Video.
Virgo: The Last Song (2010)Walt Disney StudiosWhen Ronnie has to spend the summer with her estranged dad, she’ll do anything to push everyone away–including the hot boy who lives in town. Watch this for the dramatic summer relationship Nicholas Sparks writes so well, but stay for the moment Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth fall in love for real. Watch The Last Song on Disney+ and Hulu.
Libra: The Last Summer (2019)NetflixIt’s the last summer before everyone goes off to college, so it’s time for this handful of interconnected couples to see where they stand. It’s all the stages of love–from the fledgling beginnings to bitter ends–which makes it a perfect watch for a deep-down romantic such as yourself. Watch The Last Summer on Netflix.
Scorpio: Safe Haven (2013)Relativity MediaThis is the second Nicholas Sparks movie on the list. Here, Katie is on the run and stays in a small town on the coast of North Carolina to hide away. She’s desperate to keep her secrets, but can’t help falling in love with Josh Duhamel and his adorable kids. (Can you blame her?) The secrets and life-changing love make this perfect for you, Scorpio. Watch Safe Haven on Max.
Sagittarius: How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)20th Century FoxFor you, the best summer romance is a vacation fling. In this classic rom-com, Stella is a single mom who’s stuck in a rut. Her friends push her to go on a summer vacation to Jamaica–and have a quick fling with a young Taye Diggs in the process. Sometimes you just need a change of pace. Watch How Stella Got Her Groove Back on Amazon Video.
Capricorn: Moonrise Kingdom (2012)Focus FeaturesYou love the cozy aesthetic of Wes Anderson movies, so this movie is a top-tier choice for your summer movie nights. It follows pen pals and young loves Sam and Suzy as they run away together while an entire island goes looking for them. It’s sweet, it’s beautiful, and it’s quirky as hell. Watch Moonrise Kingdom on Amazon Video.
Aquarius: Adventureland (2009)Miramax FilmsYou need your summer rom-coms to have more substance than just a sweet little romance. Adventureland is rye and indie as hell, which is just your speed. In it, James decides to work at the local amusement park after his European vacation plans fall through. He meets interesting people–including Kristen Stewart fresh off Twilight–and grows by the end of the summer. Watch Adventureland on Paramount+.
Pisces: Say Anything (1989)20th Century FoxLloyd just graduated from high school and wants to spend his summer doing the only thing he thinks is important: Falling in love. So when he has the chance to be with Diane, he isn’t afraid to show her that she’s everything. This’ll appeal to your romantic heart that just wants someone to love you as much as Lloyd Dobler loves Diane Court. Watch Say Anything on Amazon Video.
In the leadup to Heartstopper Season 3 coming to Netflix this October, we take a look back at the lessons we’ve learned along the way.Love should never involve shame.There’s a difference between coming to terms with your identity and feeling embarrassed about who you love, and Heartstopper illustrates that quite beautifully. Charlie’s first “boyfriend” was not only closeted but was clearly ashamed of being connected to Charlie at all, even in a social sense. Nick, on the other hand, still wanted to keep his relationship with Charlie a secret at first, but it was never because of who Charlie was or his fear of being connected with him—he was simply trying to figure out his own sexuality and struggling with his fear of being treated differently because of it. In true love, there is no room for shame, only acceptance.
When you love someone, you always want the best for them—even if you know it might be difficult for you in the end.Part of what’s so beautiful about Charlie and Nick’s relationship is that they both constantly want what’s best for the other. Even when Nick wasn’t ready to make their relationship public, he felt the need to figure out his own emotions as quickly and efficiently as possible so that Charlie wasn’t left suffering the consequences of his indecision. And when Charlie began to see himself as a burden to Nick (no matter how misguided that feeling was), he started distancing himself from Nick, even though it broke his own heart. While I’m not necessarily saying either of these things were right or wrong, they both came from a place of loving the other enough to want the best for them, even when it was uncomfortable or difficult.
The very best relationships involve friendship.It was clear from the very first episode that Charlie and Nick had feelings for one another, but because neither were really sure where they stood with each other, they were also able to form a really lovely friendship in the meantime. Even when they started dating, they never really stopped being friends—they constantly had fun together and cared deeply enough to check on one another’s emotions pretty consistently. While relationships don’t always have to start as friendships, there’s something to be said about relationships that involve friendship, because love is often a fickle thing but friendship is a stable foundation that helps it grow.
When you love someone, you should be willing to stand up for them (even when it’s scary).Even before Nick was ready to come out, he was ready to fight for Charlie—even if it meant fighting his own friends. Similarly, Charlie was always quick to defend Nick when his friends insulted him. While I don’t condone physical violence, there’s something to be said about standing up for the person you love when others are readily tearing them down. Because love isn’t just the actions you take when you’re standing face to face with your person—oftentimes, it’s what you do when they aren’t there that matters the most.
Love and understanding go hand-in-hand.One of the loveliest parts of Heartstopper is the understanding between each of the couples. Charlie understands that Nick is going through his own journey of understanding his own identity, and Nick understands how his actions are affecting Charlie, even when Charlie isn’t willing to admit it. When Tara admits to Darcy that coming out was more difficult than she expected and that she might to some degree regret it, Darcy isn’t offended but instead chooses to listen to Tara and to comfort her. And Tao and Elle’s friendship-turned-budding-relationship is full acceptance for one another, even when they don’t necessarily agree with each other’s actions. Love involves seeing someone for who they truly are, not who you want them to be—and it is only in seeing someone fully that you’re able to understand them.
June 6th, 2024 marks the 26th anniversary of the hit HBO series Sex and the City. The show was groundbreaking because it not only portrayed women having active sex lives but also enjoying them. Not only that, Sex and the City was a true love letter to the power of female friendship and staying true to yourself. There’s a reason it still holds up after all of this time.
Here are five of the show’s most iconic scenes.
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Carrie Breaking Up With Big In The Season 1 FinaleIn the first season’s finale, Carrie asks Big to tell her she’s the one. In other words, she needs reassurance of his commitment to her. Big says nothing in response and Carrie walks away saying she can no longer “do this.” It’s a big step for Carrie (pun intended) as she’s finally sticking up for herself, asking for what she wants, and choosing herself. Unfortunately, her self-empowerment doesn’t last terribly long. But hey, it was nice to witness!
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Carrie and Miranda’s Epic Thrift Store Argument About BigOf course, everyone knows Carrie’s farewell to Big doesn’t last long. The two end up engaging in an on-and-off, toxic love affair throughout the entire series. By the time the third season rolls around, Miranda finds herself at her wit’s end with Carrie’s unhealthy relationship with Big.
In the episode “Cock-a-Doodle-Do!” the friends get into a fight at a thrift store. While browning the racks, Carrie tells Miranda she can’t make it to an upcoming event with her because Big wants to get together and “talk.” Understandably, Miranda gets upset and finally tells Carrie the hard truth: Big isn’t good for her, and Miranda isn’t going to support Carrie’s toxicity with Big any longer. This is a powerful scene because confrontation is never easy, especially when you need to call out a close friend. But this just shows how much Miranda both loves and respects Carrie and that she truly only wants the best for her (even if Carrie doesn’t really want the best for herself).
3. Samantha Sticking Up For Charlotte At The Baby ShowerIf there is a true girl’s girl, it has to be Samantha. When the friends leave the city for Connecticut to attend their old friend Laney’s baby shower, Charlotte is more than ready to celebrate the mom-to-be. However, tensions rise when Laney reveals one of her baby names is Shayla, the name Charlotte had planned for her future daughter since she was a little girl.
While Laney pretends she didn’t know it was Charlotte’s baby name, Charlotte calls her out and becomes deeply upset. Samantha walks over to investigate the squabble. When Charlotte tells Samantha that Laney stole her baby name, Samantha turns to Laney with a devastating, “You bitch,” and then takes Charlotte by the arm and marches them out of the baby shower.
While Samantha is not the most sensitive of the bunch, nor is she one to be sentimental about things like future baby names, she knows how much it matters to Charlotte, which is why this scene is a true show of friendship, loyalty, and love.
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Carrie’s Magazine Cover CrisisIn the season two episode “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?,” Carrie gets the opportunity to pose for the cover of New York Magazine. However, it turns into a total nightmare when she is photographed hungover, with a cigarette and dark circles underneath her eyes, not to mention the headline being “Single and fabulous?” versus what she expected would be a celebratory headline of “Single and fabulous!”
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“Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates.”Finally, one of the sweetest lines in the entire show, and one that truly exemplifies the entire premise of Sex and The City, is when Charlotte posits that maybe the women could embrace being the love of each other’s lives and that they don’t need to center men to be fulfilled.
While at their favorite local diner, Charlotte says, “Maybe we could be each other’s soulmates, and then we can let men just be these great, nice guys to have fun with.” It’s a lovely sentiment and an important one too. Because sometimes, the greatest love stories are actually the ones we share with our best friends.
You’ve surely heard of green flags, red flags, and yellow flags, but I’m coining a new type of flag: rose flags.
Rose flags are warning signs you are seeing someone through rose-colored lenses. You are idealizing this person and falling for their potential but not the reality of them. Rose flags mean you’re headed towards a broken heart from your own wild expectations and hope.
Here are three rose flags you’re in love with the idea of them (not who they actually are).
- You have to make constant excuses for them.Most of the time, they don’t even have to give reasons for their wishy-washy or less-than-ideal behavior because you’ll simply fill in the blanks for them. For example, you tell yourself they’re so overwhelmed with work or that they’re having a bad day or maybe they didn’t sleep well the night before.
Here’s the thing, though: life will always happen. To all of us. Everyone has crappy days at the office, gets in foul moods, and has nights of lackluster sleep. But these are not good reasons to treat someone we supposedly love badly, nor are these good reasons to not show up for someone we are dating. And, frankly, if you’re still able to be there for them despite dealing with the same human struggles and they’re unable or unwilling to reciprocate? Rose flag. Move on.
- You describe them as having so much “potential.”Instead of focusing on their present-day attributes, you see them as someone who could do better and could become the person you need and deserve at some ever-elusive future date. If they would just try harder!
However, people are not projects and you shouldn’t want to try to fix, save, or mold someone into becoming who you need them to be. While you should want to grow and evolve with the person you’re dating, if there are basic criteria they’re falling short of from the very beginning or if there are clear signs of incompatibility in regards to their personality, values, or life goals, they aren’t going to change. They’re only going to hold you back and keep you from finding someone you’re actually meant to be with.
- They have told you they’re not looking for a relationship.Finally, if someone tells you that they’re not looking for something serious or that they don’t want a relationship, this isn’t a challenge to convince them of your worth or to make them feel differently. It is a warning. It is the signal to walk away.
Stop falling for potential. It will only break your heart.
First, have we settled on Polin? Not Conelope or Penelopolin? Polin sounds like a vitamin supplement. Second, is it necessary to make a couple name for everyone? “Brangelina” should have been a flash in the pan. You can’t get any better. Third, I’ll stop complaining and get to my point. The non-Conelope storylines of Bridgerton Season 3 are a snoozefest. Let’s rank them by most to least skippable.
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Kate and Anthony shirk their responsibilitiesAs was the case with Daphne in Season 2, Kate and Anthony appear for maybe five seconds in this season and then ghost everyone. They’re not the main characters anymore and dgaf about anyone else’s storyline. They’re ready for their honeymoon and don’t want to spend the entire season managing the Bridgerton household. However, they do show a bit of skin, which prevents them from being completely DOA.
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Benedict Bridgerton is wooed by the widow Considering that this man’s Season 1 storyline was “Learns that Gay People Exist™,” it’s not surprising that Benedict is the dud of Season 3. Sure, it’s titillating that he goes for the Emotionally Unavailable Vixen instead of the Bright Young Thing, but nothing comes of that. Yet. The ton anxiously awaits for one of them to reveal a depressing secret. First, however, they’ll need to try something besides missionary. Didn’t Benedict accidentally see gay sex once? Didn’t he learn anything?
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The Mondrichs enter the upper classWe like the Mondrichs. We really do. But it’s hard to care about their storyline. First of all, the Mondrichs have become rich without even trying. There’s not even snobbery on anyone’s part – Lady Danbury just acts like Mrs. Mondrich was always this rich. And if the show’s trying to stir up drama with Will’s club … Well, what? Do we see enough of these two to care if they have a lover’s spat? If the show really wanted to go there with the “nouveau riche” storyline, then the other ladies would ice out Mrs. Mondrich, leaving her no choice but to hire hits on all of them. It’s about time this show jumps the shark!
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Violet Bridgerton flirts (?) with Lady Danbury’s brotherNot much has transpired between Violet Bridgerton and Lady Danbury’s mysterious brother, Marcus Anderson. That said, Violet deserves a storyline that doesn’t revolve around her kids, and Mr. Anderson is the key. The only reason Violet is not lower on this list is because of her dearth of prior storylines. This is the most interesting that she’s ever been. She’s full of potential now. She could dye her hair. She could become a standup comedian. She could abandon her kids and kickstart the opium movement in China. And who are we to judge?
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Francesca Bridgerton explores her sexuality through musicI goofed with that subhead, because it sounds more interesting than what is actually happening with Francesca. Sure, it’s great that she loves music and everything, but what is really going on with her and John Stirling? Are there any real consequences if she chooses him over Prince Basic? Other than the Queen having to go out and buy a depression wig? On the other hand, there’s still the possibility that she’s asexual or at least non-normative. Is “horny for music” a thing? If that’s not already a Kim Petras song?
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The Featherington sisters learn what sex isI didn’t foresee myself being entertained by these simple gals. And yet, here I am, unexpectedly joyful that they’ve learned how babies get made. Imagine if that one sister had just let her boyfriend premature all over his britches for the rest of their lives. Sad!
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Eloise and Cressida make out (Just kidding … They’re not that interesting … Yet)And the award for least skippable pair goes to … Eloise and Cressida! If the tea leaves are correct, then these two are on their way to a summer of love. After all, they’re already the most interesting pair of friends on the show. Add to that Eloise’s coded queerness and general distaste for marriage – or men in general – and you have yourself fireworks. Honestly, there’s no better explanation for Eloise’s sudden and drastic change in personality. I thought it was poor writing at first, but now I just think it’s love. Love makes you do crazy things.
Kristen Wiig is a comedic gem. From her time on Saturday Night Live to starring in Bridesmaids, she’s often at the top of anyone’s list of favorite comedic actors. Her latest endeavor is Apple TV Plus’s Palm Royale, which received average reviews from critics and audiences. However, its star-studded cast, iconic performances, and glitz and glam make it part of Kristen’s expansive catalog of underrated projects.
While she may be known for her more comedic roles, Kristen takes on every type of project from dramas to period pieces, and they often have a quirky or indie feel to them. While her most popular roles are always appreciated, there are plenty of Kristen’s films and series that are underrated. So we want to celebrate with three of her best and worst projects.
Best: ‘Bridesmaids’ (2011)It’s pretty obvious that Bridesmaids is one of Kristen Wiigs’ best projects, considering that it was her breakout into the film industry after her time on Saturday Night Live. But it was also at the forefront of proving that women can be just as hilarious and silly as men, if not more, and that we also have an appreciation for some potty humor. It was one of the first times we saw Kristen as a romantic interest as she used her acting chops to convince us that she’s more than a comedic goofball.
Worst: ‘Sausage Party’ (2016)It’s a hilarious movie to some, but to others, it’s just a grotesque animated piece of filth. I won’t lie, I’m definitely in the first camp, but as far as an objectively good or bad Kristen Wiig project, Sausage Party does not hold up in comparison to her other more meaningful works. It has little underlying message, unlike many other projects that incorporate a great deal of heart and existential questions.
Best: ‘Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar’ (2021)Kristen takes her comedic and character acting talents in the highly underrated Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar, although The Hollywood Reporter rated it as one of the best films of 2021. Between the visual aesthetic of pastels and florals to the fish-out-of-water plot putting two best friends outside of their midwestern comfort zone, Barb and Star is relatable, silly, and thrilling. Its side plot of a murdery mystery along with Jamie Dornan singing and dancing (yes, you read that correctly), make this film unlike any other, emblematic of Kristen’s best work.
Worst: ‘Bless the Harts’ (2019 – 2021)Despite Kristen’s voice-acting abilities, Bless the Harts is another animated project that doesn’t do her justice. She plays matriarch Jenny Hart and despite the show’s star-studded cast with Maya Rudolph, Ike Barinholtz, Jillian Bell, Kumail Nanjiani, and more, it didn’t quite live up to its potential. It becomes a simple caricature of a Southern family, although it had much more emotional depth than typical adult-animated series. This led to its cancellation — the lack of potty humor and low promotion led to low ratings and its ensuing end. But perhaps animation isn’t the best medium for Kristen and her cohorts’ high-level humor, so as a whole, it just never fully jived.
Best: ‘Saturday Night Live’ (2005 – 2012)Perhaps it’s too obvious to include, but Kristen Wiig will always be most beloved for her iconic roles on Saturday Night Live. She successfully helmed SNL’s transition from a retro sketch comedy show into its modern-day era of kooky humor with characters such as Gilly, the Target lady, Surprise! Sue, and too many to name. Her successor, Kate McKinnon, made it possible for Kristen to move onto other things but even today, over a decade later, Kristen’s presence on the sketch show is still missed.
Worst: ‘Wonder Woman 1984’ (2020)Typically when Kristen Wiig is an executive producer on a project, it can be underrated but definitely worth watching. But when she’s not involved in the creation and is simply acting in it, the films and series fall short. Wonder Woman 1984 is an example of that — Kristen takes on the role of sidekick turned antagonist, and despite her nearly pitch-perfect performance from the awkward Barbara Minerva into Cheetah, the rest of the film falls flat due to its repetitive plot and abundance of plot holes.
As audiences, we love watching love stories – even the toxic ones. Some viewers may tell others to relax and just enjoy the movie, while others cast a more critical eye on the prominent narratives in films that condition us to accept unhealthy dynamics in our relationships. Here are five films portraying relationships that were actually filled with manipulation and toxicity. These movies are well due for some scrutiny, and while you may still enjoy aspects of these films, it’s important to remain aware of the red flags embedded within and continue to watch with a critical lens, reframing them not as epic love stories but rather as cautionary tales.
The NotebookThe Notebook is touted as one of the most romantic films of all time, and for good reason. Who doesn’t want to be written 365 love letters and have a destined love that lasts forever? The longevity of Noah and Allie’s relationship and love for one another until the very end is certainly admirable, and it’s understandable why this movie is so beloved. Yet the heart-wrenchingly inspirational love story of Allie and Noah starts off with massive red flags that must be noted. At the start of the film, Noah coerces Allie into going on their first date, persistently asking her out every day and going so far as to threaten to jump off a Ferris wheel if she doesn’t comply. In movies, this feels like a grand romantic gesture, but in the context of real-life relationships, persistence, love bombing, and coercion are major red flags that often signal the beginnings of emotional abuse and control. The relationship is filled with explosive, passionate fights, and constant uncertainty before it escalates into an eternal romance for the ages.
TwilightTwilight is a series that ultimately encourages and glamorizes stalking behaviors and unhealthy enmeshment and codependency in the name of true and fated love. On screen, an eternally youthful and hot hundred-year-old vampire played by Robert Pattinson watching you sleep may seem titillating, but in real life, it’s cause for a restraining order. Before there was Joe Goldberg from “You,” there was Edward Cullen. Bella and Edward seem mutually obsessed with one another, but their relationship is filled with pain and torment for one major reason: Edward literally has to fight the urge to kill her and devour her alive. Not exactly the healthiest way to start a new relationship, and Bella falls into suicidal despair when he tries to detach from her to protect her. As he tells her, “I am the world’s most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in—my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would even need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I am designed to kill.” Talk about a power imbalance. He goes on to say he has killed people in the past and thirsts for her blood. In response, Bella says she does not care and trusts him, ignoring her survival instincts completely. One of the most disturbing scenes in the series is when Bella and Edward first have sex, only for Bella to admiringly look at her scars and bruises the morning after. Bella sacrifices the rest of her life at age eighteen to be with Edward before she really even knows him. While Twilight incorporates supernatural elements that may make such plotlines seem understandable in context, many viewers have noted that it glamorizes aspects of abusive and toxic relationships.
A Star is BornIn A Star is Born, Ally and Jackson are the poster children for a narcissistically abusive relationship. As Ally gains success as a talented singer and Jackson becomes more entrenched in his drug addiction, she sacrifices her well-being and her own success in the name of love to cater to him, continually forgiving him for his transgressions, his deplorable verbal and emotional abuse, and his multiple attempts to sabotage her career. In one particularly unsettling scene, Ally discloses that she’s been approached by a record manager for an opportunity and Jackson smears a cream cheese bagel in her face. Jackson’s pathological envy of Ally’s success and his sabotage of her career while she uplifts and supports him throughout the film is disturbingly one-sided. Some viewers may say this movie simply a portrayal of the downfall of addiction in their love story, but one has to be reminded that most addicts do not behave in this malicious way, and that while narcissistic people can also have co-morbid substance abuse issues, this did not create their core lack of empathy which often permeates their behavior outside of the addiction. Viewers are cautioned not to internalize Jackson’s addiction as the sole cause for his abusive behavior or to rationalize the severity of it. Ally’s codependent tendencies to try to save Jackson are not romantic – they are self-destructive, and they only serve Jackson. This movie idealizes toxic relationships and self-sacrifice in the name of love.
50 Shades of GreyWhen Anastasia Steele meets the elusive billionaire entrepreneur Christian Grey, she is seduced and coerced into a sexually sadomasochistic relationship dynamic she does not initially feel comfortable with. Viewers note that this sexual relationship does not feel consensual in many ways, because Ana wants something different – she wants romance and a commitment, both of which Christian cannot readily provide her. Christian is possessive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, and uncomfortable with emotional intimacy, having had many “submissive” partners in the past who he never continued a real relationship with. He distances himself from this intimacy with Ana while still expecting her to go along with his sadistic sexual desires, all notarized in a business contract to meet his needs and abide by his rules. Throughout the movie series, these narcissistic traits and behaviors are often glamorized as Christian falling “in love” and being overprotective over Ana rather than being downright abusive and toxic.
Love, ActuallyAlmost every couple in the popular holiday rom-com Love, Actually is toxic and the romance in the movie is often wrapped up in morally depraved circumstances and wrapped with a bow for viewers to normalize as “just” the complicated nature of love. Mia and Harry top the list, as Mia shamelessly pursues her married older boss to have an affair with him, while he gets her a jewelry gift that adds an even more disrespectful twist to the affair during Christmas when his wife Karen finds it. Karen appears to still be with Harry at the end of the movie, which sends an unhealthy message about tolerating betrayal for the sake of marriage. Such violations in real life simply should not fly. Juliet and Mark are just as unsettling, since Mark is in love with his best friend’s wife and pursues her ardently, only for Juliet to cheat on her husband just because he held up a poster declaring she was perfect. There are far too many scenes in the movie glamorizing betrayal and narcissistic self-serving acts in the name of love to be a truly healthy love story.
While a somewhat rare phenomenon in the entertainment medium, TV miniseries have managed to accrue their own favorable audience of viewers over the past several decades. In more recent years especially, the concept of a limited series has gained increased relevance, with more and more television shows opting for a finite length as opposed to the multi-season format of a full-fledged TV series. As fantastic as new series like Shogun and Masters of the Air have been, it’s also worth pointing out how many other exceptional miniseries have been released in the past, from harrowing historical epics to evocative period dramas.
Band of BrothersHBOAmong the finest HBO series ever made, Band of Brothers follows the exploits of an American paratrooper company in World War II, complete with an in-depth portrayal of their first-hand experiences in battle. Never shying away from the horrors of combat, Band of Brothers also underscored the unique fraternal bond formed by soldiers on the frontline–the shared hardship of their experiences forever solidifying their lifelong friendships. Watch Band of Brothers on Netflix and Max.
ChernobylHBOThe best miniseries in recent memory, Chernobyl focuses on the disastrous fallout that ravaged the titular Russian city in the spring of 1986. A palpable period thriller, the series specifically chronicles the heroic efforts of scientists attempting to contain the radioactive fallout–sometimes at the cost of their own lives. Employing an ensemble cast of phenomenal actors (including Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgård, Emily Watson, and Jessie Buckley), Chernobyl’s evaluation of its main subject matter makes it among the most engrossing HBO series in the network’s history. Watch Chernobyl on Max.
RootsABCFor a long time, Roots essentially was the prototypical miniseries, remaining synonymous with the idea of a limited TV series for several decades. Based on Alex Haley’s best-selling novel, Roots provided an unflinching look at the stark reality of slavery in early American history, focusing on the perspective of enslaved persons captured from their native home in Africa. Drawing extraordinarily high ratings upon its debut in 1977, it continues to stand tall as one of the defining TV series of the 1970s. Watch Roots on Amazon Video.
Lonesome DoveCBSA sweeping adaptation of Larry McMurtry’s celebrated Western, Lonesome Dove is that rare Western capable of entertaining a mass audience of viewers, rather than simply satisfying longtime fans of Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. Living up to the heights of McMurtry’s original novel, Lonesome Dove broke down the conventional norms of the traditional Western narrative, analyzing such topics as masculinity, violence, age, and youthful adventure. Wonderfully acted by stars Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones, Lonesome Dove elevated the entire concept of a miniseries after the debut of Roots a decade earlier. Watch Lonesome Dove on Peacock and Tubi.
John AdamsHBOWithin the larger expanse of American history, most people tend to look past the contributions of the second U.S. president John Adams–the Founding Father and statesman who succeeded George Washington’s place as commander-in-chief. Exploring the vastly underrated public official is the HBO miniseries John Adams, as played by the always fantastic Paul Giamatti. An introspective study of its eponymous historical figure, John Adams displays the numerous strengths and abundant flaws of this wildly misunderstood U.S. diplomat, from his vast intelligence and selfless patriotism to his narcissistic desire for approval and praise. Watch John Adams on Max.
The Queen’s GambitNetflixAmong the most popular Netflix exclusives released to the streaming platform yet, The Queen’s Gambit somehow made the niche sport of chess a universally approachable topic for every member of the audience. Following Anya Taylor-Joy’s troubled chess prodigy as she climbs through the sport’s hierarchy, The Queen’s Gambit weaves in a number of more philosophical and relatable topics, including an intelligent exploration of ambition, depression, and alcoholism. Through its layered treatment of its main character, the series offered a fresh new take on the tried-and-true sports drama. Watch The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix.
Whether you love or hate it, everybody knows Harry Potter and the Biggest Franchise to Ever Exist. While the first film came out in 2001, forever cementing Harry Potter as one of the greatest book-to-film adaptations to date, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban came out on June 4, 2004. 20 years later, it’s clear that the third film in the eight-film saga is still the best one.
While the other Harry Potter films have their attributes, Prisoner of Azkaban excels in almost every area. The first two films, Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, focus on world-building and still treat the universe as youthful and innocent. The later films get so dark that they’re even rated PG-13. But Prisoner of Azkaban is pitch perfect.
The Iconic MomentsOf all the Harry Potter films, Prisoner of Azkaban easily has some of the most memeable and quotable moments. From Harry’s classic, “He was their friend!” to Snape’s “Turn to page 394,” many of the long-lasting Harry Potter quotes come from the third film. In addition, the often shared meme of Harry flying through the air on the hippogriff comes from Prisoner of Azkaban, as does Hermione’s unforgettable attack on Draco. We’re not saying the popularity of these moments is why the film is good — we’re just saying that the film is so good that it spawned all of these iconic moments.
The Acting Is ElevatedOne of the big reasons Prisoner of Azkaban elevated the Harry Potter franchise is because of its director, Alfonso Cuaron. While the previous director, Chris Columbus, focused on the joy of magic, Alfonso put much more stock in the acting, casting, and character development. The young actors’ emotional ranges are put on display as they also tackle the experience of growing from kid to teen. In addition, Prisoner of Azkaban introduces four new adult acting icons: Emma Thompson as Professor Trelawney, Timothy Spall as Peter Pettigrew, David Thewlis as Professor Lupin, and of course, Gary Oldman as Sirius Black.
The CinematographyThis element of what makes Prisoner of Azkaban great also comes down to the film’s director. Alfonso’s canon beforehand was much more indie and graphic—more focused on visual storytelling than other directors. There are several shots of the Whomping Willow throughout the seasons to show the calm before the storm. Most shots are beautifully framed with the mountains framing the background with recurring motifs of leaves and birds. Even more impressively, Alfonso is able to elicit true horror with the transformation of the werewolf, later mirroring that technique in Harry’s eye.
Ironclad StorytellingThis point could be hotly disputed because of how incorporating time travel into the Harry Potter universe created a whole other host of issues, from questions about why they weren’t used to stop Voldemort to how anything means anything if students can just use time turners. But this plot point aside, Prisoner of Azkaban fits together like a puzzle. Every element of the story leads into the peak and denouement, from the introduction of Sirius Black to Harry befriending Buckbeak the Hippogriff to Peter Pettigrew showing up on the Marauder’s Map. Everything in Prisoner of Azkaban happens for a reason, ending with Harry’s Patronus — another iconic quote: “Expecto Patronum!”
It’s Still a Coming-of-Age StoryAlfonso has talked often about how important it was for him to incorporate magic into the feelings of growing up. The most emblematic scene of this is when Harry, Ron, and a few of the other Gryffindors are eating candies that make them sound like animals (although Harry becomes a steam train instead). The candies don’t exist in the books, so some purists hate this scene, but it’s a true invention of Alfonso that shows how boys would act in a dorm at 13 years old … but with magic! Hermione and Ron’s first twinkling of teenage romance shows itself when she grabs his hand. And of course the opening of the film, in which Harry accidentally blows up his aunt, is the ultimate show of early and uncontrollable teen angst.
It’s that teen angst and heart underneath the magic and visual storytelling that make Prisoner of Azkaban the perfect dose of nostalgia for any Harry Potter lover.
We’ve all heard the phrase “wife material.” But often, when certain men share exactly what makes a woman wife material, it’s always focused on what the woman can do for him rather than who she actually is – whether it be cooking, cleaning, putting her needs aside selflessly for him, and sacrificing her entire life to cater to him and support his dreams and raise their kids, the term “wife material” has become seriously misused to encourage self-sacrifice in women rather than true partnership. Unless you’re watching an episode from Bridgerton, rarely will you hear a low-quality man say, “I knew she was my wife not only because she was breathtakingly beautiful, she was also the most intelligent woman I had ever met and my best friend,” or, “Her dreams and ambitions inspired me to be a better, more determined man” or even, “She was so quick-witted and kept me on my toes, I knew life with her would always be an adventure.” Only high-quality men profess such admiration. Here are the five things that actually make a woman “wife” material – that only high-quality men will understand.
Intelligence and wit. In any relationship, both physical and mental attraction are important. One without the other leaves the romance flat. Women (and people in general) who are mentally stimulating and intellectually adept make life more exciting. It is boring to be with a partner who does not think as deeply as you do or doesn’t challenge you in any way. If you can’t have captivating conversations or meaningful late-night talks with your life-long partner, whether you’re a man or woman, what exactly are you doing? If you can’t banter with your spouse in a light-hearted yet clever way that always ends in laughter, where’s the fun in that? The couple that playfully banters and laughs together often thrive together.
Kindness moderated by boundaries and standards. A woman who is kind is not someone who is necessarily a people-pleaser. Feisty women with boundaries and who stand up for themselves are the sexiest, and high-quality men know that. This mix of genuine kindness and ferocious dignity is what builds true emotional attraction. In her ferocity, a high-quality man sees and appreciates that this is a woman who has standards and core values she lives up to and believes in. This makes her an incredible long-term partner in his eyes because she has integrity, and she respects and values herself. He knows she is choosing him not because she “has” to and will put up with anything, because she wants marriage with just any man and is willing to settle – it is because he met her high standards, and this gives him a sense of pride.
Ambition. A partner who has her own dreams and life outside of a marriage and partnership is inevitably someone who excels at her relationships precisely because she doesn’t make it her main focus. She doesn’t rely solely on her partner for validation or fulfillment, and her husband usually has to seek her out and “chase” her to get her attention, because she’s busy focused on her own goals. Marriages where a man loves a woman a little bit more than she loves him tend to thrive exactly for that reason. High-quality men are the ones who deeply admire and respect a woman’s strengths, gifts, talents, and drive (without exploiting her, and still remaining generous themselves), and they love cheering her on and supporting her.
A sense of adventure and boldness. There’s a reason why the old adage “Men love crazy women” exists. It’s true, in a way. Women who are bold and adventurous think outside of the box and who are just a little more sassy and “unhinged” than the rest always stand out. They are vibrant and unique, and bring joy and enthusiasm into every room they walk in. Plus, you’d never want to cross them, and they keep you on your toes. They love introducing new ideas, travel plans, ventures into the mix. They’re the ones suggesting a spontaneous trip to Paris, dancing with you until 4 a.m. in a club and the ones who are snuggling up to you for a movie marathon: they can do all three. Life with them is just a tad unpredictable, and that’s just the right amount of romance and thrill that is needed to keep a marriage alive.
Honesty, not unconditional love. Many people assume marriage best thrives on unconditional love. But a woman who easily forgives and forgets, or one who doesn’t expect anything out of you is not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. A woman who holds you accountable for being a better man and inspires to be the highest version of yourself is. If you can’t take in healthy feedback, you shouldn’t be in a marriage. Healthy marriages thrive on open communication, mutual respect, and transparency – not coddling and stagnancy, and high-quality men know this, which is why they go out of their way to fulfill the desires of the women they most desire. They seek out women who they know will hold them accountable for being the best version of themselves, and they strive to be the best partner they can to the women they love. That’s what makes them “husband material.”
One of the oldest tricks in the book is to pass off an offensive comment as a joke. The trick works equally well in middle school and on the Real Housewives franchise: The moment a person is held accountable for their cruelty, they simply say, “It was a joke,” shifting the burden of awkwardness to everyone else. Told all your friends you hate Jessica? “It was just a joke,” you tell Jessica. Slept with Jessica’s husband? “Relax, Jessica!” Submitted a false report to the police that Jessica was embezzling millions of dollars through her Etsy account? “Jessica, I say this as a friend, but you’re being a delusional psycho.”
But for those of us who don’t resort to middle school-level mind tricks? We take accountability. And Hacks, of all TV shows, just showed A-List celebrities how to do it.
MaxIf you don’t already watch Hacks, here’s a primer: Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) is a boomer stand-up comedian who built a fortune off of making offensive jokes in her early career. Ava (Hannah Einbinder) is her hyperwoke, privileged assistant who constantly cringes at Vance’s anti-woke epithets and off-handed offensiveness. However, in Episode 8, Vance finally faces the consequences of her actions. After a cadre of students at her alma mater makes a supercut of her most offensive jokes, the resultant Internet firestorm forces the university to cancel Vance’s appearance.
Immediately, Vance deploys the same arguments that modern-day older celebrities use when confronted with their past mistakes. “But everyone was doing it back, then,” she says. She even plays the female comic card, insisting that she was progressive in her day, obliterating barriers by getting canceled for saying “abortion” on TV. Then, Ava, in the fortunate position of being Vance’s confidante, speaks sense. Vance is already rich and famous; she’s not exactly a victim. She also might have broken barriers for women; but it’s also simultaneously true that she has offended other marginalized groups. Basically, Ava lays out the situation in all its complex glory instead of resorting to knee-jerk cancellation – a welcome change from the playbook of the Very Online crowd.
But it’s what Vance does next that could change the game for real-life canceled celebrities, if they’d listen. She apologizes. And considering that she’s the woman whose refrain is “never apologize for jokes,” this is already a huge step. However, she doesn’t just apologize – She also attends a university forum where students discuss how her jokes hurt them. She witnesses, first hand, the power of her words, and even learns the word “ableist” along the way.
MaxIf only this show weren’t fiction. Let’s revisit Matt Rife – the poster-boy for anti-woke standup comedy. In his November comedy special on Netflix, he joked that a woman could have avoided getting a black eye if she’d been a better cook. The joke rightly earned him a tsunami of online criticism, especially since his fanbase was mostly women at the time. (Unclear if he still has a fanbase.) Rife’s apology was just as shameful: The “official apology” that he posted was actually a link to the special needs section of an online medical store, implying that anyone offended by his jokes was differently abled. In other words, he did the opposite of Deborah Vance in every way.
Of course, many other male comedians – especially older ones – have similarly shared half-apologies or non-apologies for their transgressions. Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais have been canceled, to an extent, for transphobic language, whereas Shane Gillis was fired from Saturday Night Live for his past (but not so long ago) homophobic and racist language. Chappelle still has a deal with Netflix, Gervais has continued to churn out specials, and Gillis recently returned to host the very show that fired him. None of these men have apologized or atoned to the extent of Deborah Vance.
The brilliance of Episode 8 Hacks is that it embraces the complexity of cancellation. It doesn’t advocate for the ruination of someone’s career simply because of their past mistakes. Rather, it begs accountability of our celebrities and encourages real, productive dialogue – a tool sorely missing from modern online discourse. As the Very Online sect rushes to the plate during cancellation scandals with clout-chasing virtual signaling, they don’t necessarily promote healing among the victims they claim to protect. Real healing comes from the perpetrators themselves. With an ounce of compassion, says Hacks, it’s possible to make those perpetrators listen and change.
That being said, Matt Rife is a scumbag and Netflix should fire him immediately.
“Nothing is off-limits if it’s Paul Rudd.”What can we say? Growing up a radical ’90s kid awarded us some fun lessons from movies, and Clueless (1995) is no exception. We got some slang gems like “as if” and a renewed love for plaid skirts–a trend that’s found its way back into the mainstream thanks to ’90s-loving Gen Z. And of course, Clueless started an entire generation’s unwavering love of never-aging hottie Paul Rudd. Though it was just a simple rom-com based off Jane Austen’s Emma, it was so thoroughly jam-packed with love lessons that they’re still relevant decades later. So pop on the cherry lip gloss and Coolio’s “Rollin’ with the Homies,” while I break down the love lessons I learned from Clueless, everyone’s favorite ’90s teen rom-com.
Quit meddling in the love lives of your friends.Paramount PicturesEven though you might think you know better–and sometimes you’re right–if your friends don’t want the advice, you shouldn’t give it. They’re their own people, and they can make their own mistakes. And you may even be wrong! Cher was certainly wrong when she tried to steer Tai away from lovable stoner skater Travis. Those two belonged together. Even if your intentions are pure, sometimes you just have to stay out of it.
Learn to read the signs if a guy is into you.Cher was trying so hard to hook up Tai and Elton, and for what? Elton was a steaming bag of trash who clearly didn’t have respect for women enough to treat them with a modicum of decency. And to make matters worse, Elton was obviously into Cher, not Tai. All of this heartache could have been avoided if Cher was looking for the signs that Elton was into her. So look for those signs. Don’t ignore your intuition about the true intentions of those around you.
If the guy you like doesn’t like you back, sometimes it’s even better to be friends.Cher has a brief moment when she thinks she’s on a date with school newcomer Christian. Much to her surprise, it turns out Christian is gay. Rather than wallowing in heartache and self-pity, Cher immediately starts a gorgeous friendship with the guy. You’re not always meant to be in a relationship with someone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be a part of their life. Some of the best relationships of your life will be platonic.
Don’t help people at the expense of your own feelings.Cher becomes so focused on helping others that she puts her own feelings aside. She winds up wandering the streets of Beverly Hills having a complete existential meltdown because she forgot about herself. While it’s noble, only ever focusing on the health and happiness of others will hurt you in the end. You know the directions they give on an airplane? “Secure your own mask first before helping other passengers.” The same goes for real life. Don’t forget about yourself.
Go for what you want.In the end, Cher gets to watch everyone in her life finally finding love and happiness, and she realizes it’s her turn as well. She likes her step-brother, Josh, and she isn’t going to let a little taboo stand in the way of that. Not only that, but she wants to improve herself to make herself good enough for him. She doesn’t just sit back and wait for good things to come–she makes them happen. Speaking of which…
Nothing is off-limits if it involves Paul Rudd.Paramount PicturesYeah, the step-sibling romance plot is a little iffy. But it’s Paul Rudd! Everything’s forgiven when it’s that guy. I’d fall for him, too. If you find your own Paul Rudd, you go for it.
We all love a good comeback story. When recovering and healing from a toxic relationship, many women share that they feel they are aging backwards and reverting back to their “true” self before the relationship. This is not surprising, as there are many biochemical and physiological changes that take place in the body and brain during an unhealthy relationship. Once the healing journey begins, victims of toxic relationships often see themselves experiencing a massive glow-up – in reality, it’s just a return to their natural beauty and peaceful mindset. Here are four science-backed ways you can “glow up” in many different ways, physically and also mentally, after a toxic relationship.
Exercise, intermittent fasting, and moderating unhealthy carbohydrates under the strict guidance of a doctor or nutritionist. During a toxic relationship, levels of the stress hormone cortisol go haywire. What some people may not be aware of is that cortisol also affects insulin levels, potentially increasing insulin resistance which may contribute to excessive weight gain and a plethora of other health issues. One science-backed way to disrupt insulin resistance according to research is intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting and exercise have other benefits as well, since studies show that they both increase brain derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) levels in the brain. BDNF is like fertilizer for the brain, contributing to the survival and growth of neurons and bringing with it antidepressant effects that combat the effects of trauma in the brain. Gentle exercise such as walks are encouraged during this time as well, and nutritionists generally suggest turning more towards eating more high-fiber carbohydrates and healthy fats (like whole grains, vegetables, legumes, fruits, avocados) rather than simple carbohydrates (such as sugary foods, candy, white bread, and refined starches) in your meals while still ensuring your meals remain nutrient-dense and balanced. This is important since excessive consumption of unhealthy carbohydrates (which are common when one stress eats in a toxic relationship) can affect your health long-term as well. Speak to your doctor or nutritionist about any changes to your diet and be aware that such changes must be heavily monitored, especially if you have a habit of disordered eating patterns. Do not engage in intermittent fasting or special diets, for example, if you have a history of eating disorders, without speaking to your doctor.
Processing traumas in therapy like EMDR or DBT.Trauma lives in the body and how we process trauma can affect the way we look, think, and feel. Survivors of toxic relationships report that during the relationship, they may have experienced unwanted appearance changes to their face, hair, skin, weight, that seemed to dissipate once they began healing some of the emotional trauma they experienced. They may have also experienced PTSD and intrusive thoughts, memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. Processing your relationship through therapies like EMDR and DBT can help for self-soothing and healing and lower cortisol levels as well. If you find yourself overwhelmed by trauma, EMDR doesn’t require as much talking about the trauma as it does actually processing the trauma by bypassing the amygdala through rapid, alternating eye movements, and instilling healthier beliefs. DBT teaches emotional regulation and self-soothing skills that can help you during times of acute stress or reliving the traumatic event.
Maintain a mindful lifestyle that incorporates yoga and meditation. Have a “mindful” makeover of your mindset. Daily meditation and yoga are evidence-based, supplementary practices that can be added to any healing journey. Meditation and mindfulness along with grounding techniques can help enhance executive functioning which includes decision-making, planning, focus, and emotional regulation, all of which are often affected negatively by the trauma of a toxic relationship. If done on a daily basis, studies reveal it can even begin to heal parts of the brain most affected by trauma such as the prefrontal cortex, the amygdala, and the hippocampus. Yoga can also help decrease PTSD symptoms and give you a sense of mastery over your own body and a greater appreciation of what your body can do, which may help battle the effects of body dysmorphia or body image issues. Many survivors have experienced positive effects of both, sharing that they have felt calmer, more peaceful, and able to tackle their goals and dreams with more ease when incorporating these methods.
Channel your experiences into success.A physical and mental glow-up are lovely, and so is a financial glow-up! Give yourself the “Elle Woods” treatment and replace the dopamine rush of your hot-and-cold relationship with motivation toward your career and financial goals instead. In a toxic relationship, people often lose their sense of self and identity. If you still have distress or anger regarding what you experienced in the relationship, harness those emotions into determination to set goals and chase after your dreams, the ones you may have had before the relationship or could have been inspired to go toward afterwards – whether it be going back to school, refocusing on your career, building thriving social networks, use this time of independence to do what you love and cultivate your gifts and talents to help yourself and the world around you. Remember, success and leveling up are the best and most productive “revenge” there is! Go forth and prosper. You deserve it.
One of the longest-running and highly acclaimed sitcoms of all time, Curb Your Enthusiasm dominated cable television for 24 years that were–as creator and star Larry David might say–“pretty, prettyyyy good.” Over the course of its 12 hilarious seasons, David managed to conjure up a riotous sitcom on par with his earlier work on Seinfeld, right down to a similarly in-depth study of the social conventions that make up everyday society. Breaking these norms on a week-in, week-out basis, David provided an austere dark comedy mainstream viewers simply couldn’t get enough of, holding audiences’ attention for just over two decades.
The Doll (Season 2, Episode 7)Few lines are as universally funny as an irate Susie Greene screaming at Jeff and Larry to “Get me the head!” Leaving audiences breathless with laughter the moment the credits have started to roll, every scene of season 2’s “The Doll” comes equipped with some of the series’ smartest, darkest jokes. From an unfortunate misunderstanding over a doll’s haircut to an even more disturbing incident in a movie theater bathroom, “The Doll” deserves to be at the very top of every viewers’ watch-list when it comes to essential Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes.
No Lessons Learned (Season 12, Episode 10)The series finale to Curb Your Enthusiasm, David and company return to the polarizing premise behind Seinfeld’s controversial final episode. Like Seinfeld’s finale, “No Lessons Learned” finds Larry on the witness stand in a hotly-contested court case that sees many of his most notorious rivals make their long-awaited return to Curb here. Referencing Seinfeld’s disappointing last episode throughout, “No Lessons Learned” sees David bid goodbye to his 20+ year tenure on Curb Your Enthusiasm, drawing the series to a close on a blessedly satisfying final note.
Palestinian Chicken (Season 8, Episode 3)Only Larry David would choose chicken over some of his closest friends. Dubbing himself a “social assassin” able to broach topics too difficult for people to openly discuss, Larry finds himself in the middle of a deep-cut religious schism owing to his love of a Palestinian restaurant in season 8’s “Palestinian Chicken.” As laugh-out-loud funny as the episode’s main plot is, though, it’s most worth watching “Palestinian Chicken” for its B-storyline, which involves multiple people asking Larry to confront their loved ones about their most annoying habits (over-using “LOL” in a text, smacking their lips after they drink, etc.). In oh so many ways, it’s pure Curb Your Enthusiasm humor at its finest.
Denise Handicap (Season 7, Episode 6)How many sitcoms do you know of that sees the main character get beaten up not once, but twice by none other than Rosie O’Donnell? Such is the appeal of season 7’s “Denise Handicap,” the premise of which involves Larry dating a wheelchair-using significant other. Using his newfound partner as a personal way to skip ahead of restaurant lines and garner respect from his friends and colleagues, “Denise Handicap” underscores just how low Larry might sink for own convenience and self-gain.
The Freak Book (Season 6, Episode 5)Curb Your Enthusiasm has included many, many different cameos over the years, but without a doubt one of the finest celebrity appearances in the show comes with John McEnroe in season 6’s “The Freak Book.” Ejected from Ted Danson’s birthday party and forced to fill in for his drunken driver as a limo chauffeur, Larry soon runs afoul the fiery-tempered former tennis pro, infuriating Johnny Mac with his unending series of questions. Yes, seeing Larry and Jeff cackle on the couch is always great, but there’s just something about Larry asking John McEnroe absurdly childish questions that makes this episode stand out.
The Car Pool Lane (Season 4, Episode 6)Baseball, street-smart prostitutes, police sniffer dogs, and hallucinogenic drug trips–these are just some of the things viewers can look forward to when it comes to season 4’s “The Car Pool Lane.” Never wasting a moment to deliver some kind of joke, David and company spend every second of “The Car Pool Lane” providing original and provocative material. Whether feigning racist views to get out of jury duty or framing Marty for bringing drugs to an airport, “The Car Pool Lane” leaves viewers in stitches from the opening credits onward.
Trick or Treat (Season 2, Episode 3)It’s Halloween in California, and in true Curb Your Enthusiasm fashion, Larry David decides to celebrate it the only way he knows how (IE, denying candy to uncostumed teens he deems too old to trick or treat). Like all the best Curb episodes, “Trick or Treat” sees David step in as a miscast enforcer of societal rules, taking it upon himself to defend Halloween from teenage ne’er-do-wells. One of the few episodes where Larry gets the last laugh, it also somehow manages to flawlessly weave in a subplot involving the music of Wagner and the supposed origins of the Cobb salad (trust us, it’s better than it sounds).
I can’t be the only one who seems to be consuming nothing but Bridgerton Season 3 content right? It’s all over my FYP, it’s all my friends talk about, and I’ve even written about it here several times. And in looking into why I love this season so much, I realized it had one of my favorite romance tropes: “She fell first, but he fell harder.”
This trope always starts with a crush–usually on a friend. The main character has the hots for the guy she’s closest with, but he doesn’t even consider her a romantic prospect. She’s just his friend! But as soon as she starts to give up all hope, that’s when we see a switch flip in the male protagonist. Suddenly he’s falling for her–and he’s falling so much harder. It’s a little fantasy so many of us love and, while it happens a lot in romance novels, it’s a little harder to find in rom coms. Luckily, I did the hard work for you and found X movies with the “she fell first, but he fell harder” trope. You’re welcome!
The DUFF (2015)LionsgateWhen Bianca needs help becoming more likeable to her crush, she asks for guidance from her neighbor, Wesley Rush. The jock is just in it for help with one of his classes–he’s not into her at all. But by the end, you’ll swoon just as much as I did when you see how hard he falls for her for her authentic self. Watch The DUFF on Paramount+ with Showtime.
A Walk to Remember (2002)Warner Bros.As is often the case with the teen version of the “she fell first, but he fell harder” trope, A Walk to Remember features the unpopular girl and the jock (which happens a lot in this list.) When Jamie tells Landon not to fall in love with her while she helps him learn his lines for the school play, it’s easy for him to agree…at first. But, by the end, it becomes a promise that’s heartbreakingly impossible to keep. Watch A Walk to Remember on Netflix, Peacock, and Tubi.
Flipped (2010)Warner Bros.This oft-forgotten, underrated rom com finds Juli immediately falling for the boy who moves in next door. Bryce doesn’t feel the same way and instead finds her unsettling. But, as you watch them interact as they grow up, you get to see this trope play out in real time–And it’s a must-watch. Watch Flipped on Max.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena Vista PicturesWhen Patrick Verona asks out Kat Stratford, she doesn’t realize he’s doing it to help a fellow student get her sister. She thinks what they have is real, so she’s clearly the first one to fall. But when you see how heavily he falls for her by the end of this iconic teen rom com, you know he’s fallen harder. Watch 10 Things I Hate About You on Disney+ and Hulu.
She’s All That (1999)MiramaxZack’s shitty best friend bets him that he can’t turn the worst girl in school–Laney the quirky, uni-browed art kid–into the prom queen. By the end of the classic makeover montage movie, he’s so head-over-heels for her that he’ll improv a cringy hackie sack spoken word routine just to win her over. Watch She’s All That on Paramount+ with Showtime.
Plus One (2019)RLJE FilmsAlice and Ben are just good friends who happen to have been invited to a lot of the same weddings this year. Why not just go together as each other’s platonic plus ones? While it’s Alice who accepts what they’re turning into first, it’s Ben who pulls it all out in the end. (In perhaps a frustrating way, but that’s life.) Watch Plus One on Netflix and Hulu.
Love, Rosie (2014)LionsgateRosie and Alex have been best friends since they were kids. Although they may have developed feelings for each other early on, the time was just never right. Although it’s Rosie who reveals her feelings first–at about the worst possible time–it’s Alex who clearly feels this love the hardest. Watch Love, Rosie on Amazon Video.
She’s The Man (2006)Paramount PicturesOf course it would be Viola falling for Duke first. After all, Duke thinks she’s just a slightly awkward soccer-loving bro he has to share a room with. But by the end, after Duke has had to resolve some of the confusing feelings he may have had for his roommate all along, he’s down bad for her. And rightfully so! Watch She’s the Man on Amazon Video.
The Notebook (2004)New Line CinemaWhen a man has been spending years of his time fixing up your dream house while he waits for you to finally reach his level of romantic attachment, you know he’s fallen so much harder. Is it a sad watch in the end? Of course, but in a heartbreakingly lovely kind of way. Watch The Notebook on Prime Video.
Not sure what to watch first? I personally recommend starting with The DUFF or Love, Rosie as my personal favorites.
What does it really mean to meet a soulmate? And how does it differ from being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist? Here are six things your soulmate will never do, but a narcissist will, according to an expert.
Make your life more chaotic and painful.Your true soulmate brings more peace, love, and joy into your life – not endless pain. A narcissist will create chaos in your life deliberately to harm you, stonewalling you, pitting you against others, subjecting you to the silent treatment, and gaslighting you. Real love is not bondage, or brutality, or necessity, or emotional unavailability, or scarcity in any form. Real love is not enmeshment with someone unhealthy for you in the hopes that they will someday change. Real love is not constant arguments and over-explaining and over-communicating to someone committed to misunderstanding you or using your vulnerabilities against you. It won’t harm you and pretend that tolerating that harm is justifiable in the name of love. Real love will bring you more peace – it won’t force you to survive a psychological war zone. It will bring ease to your struggles, and it will uplift you. It will ask you to choose the best, bravest, most beautiful, kindest, and highest version of yourself. It won’t push you over the edge or make you walk on eggshells or eviscerate your self-esteem or sense of worth. The biggest commitment you’ll make in life won’t be to a partner. It will be to yourself. You have to choose yourself over toxic love every day. You have to choose the peace of solitude and the possibility of a healthy soulmate in the future over the crazymaking chaos. The organic, sustainable highs over the rollercoaster of highs and lows. You must show loyalty to yourself, first and foremost.
Ask you to choose them over your inner peace and self-respect.Your true soulmate won’t ask you to sacrifice your self-respect in order to commit to them. They won’t present violating you, cheating on you, or making you feel small as a “non-negotiable” when you enter a relationship with them. When asked to betray yourself, you must be willing to “betray” those who expect to trample over your boundaries and wish you harm by doing the unexpected: choosing yourself over toxic people. When you fear abandonment, you must fear abandoning yourself more than being abandoned by those who don’t appreciate and value you. Staying in toxic relationships is one of the most lethal forms of self-abandonment and self-harm, and your true soulmate won’t ever be found in the arms of a toxic person. Real love will never hold you back or violate you. It won’t ask you to violate and betray yourself to keep it. Nor will it ask you to settle for less than what you desire and deserve.
Tell you to accept the bare minimum while you give it your all.Real love and true soulmates won’t be found in limiting beliefs or a, “I’ll take whatever I can get, grateful for the scraps,” mentality. A true soulmate won’t ever watch you overexert yourself for their attention, validation, affection, and approval, while giving you nothing in return. Narcissists keep a scoreboard so that there is no truly free gift: they shower you with attention in hopes you’ll make them the center of your world – once you’re invested, they pull the rug up from beneath you. Real love is filled with abundance and miracles, and waking up every day next to your soulmate knowing you chose someone who supports the highest version of you and your dream life, and you do so in turn. There is genuine generosity, reciprocity and attentiveness and gentleness in true love. You may settle for toxic love because of how society has encouraged you to settle for the bare minimum in the falsehood that it’s better than being alone and strong on your own. A narcissist hopes you buy into society’s lies about relationships being filled with turmoil and hard work because they want you to continue to invest in them. A true soulmate will want the absolute best for you and will go out of their way to make you immensely happy, just as you would do for them.
Remember that who’ve settled for less just to settle than they deserve won’t tell you this because they chose this path and paid the price. If you notice, happy couples aren’t normally the ones speaking on the lives of happily single people: they are not condescending nor do they put down others walking their own path. They are too busy enjoying their own romance to ever pass judgment, and they support whatever makes others happy. Unhappily partnered people are often the loudest in the room, placing your singlehood or high standards under their scrutiny. But rather than sharing with you in wisdom how not to walk the same dark, rugged path of their own destructive relationship, some choose to tell you a romanticized tale of their own toxic love, as a way to lure you into the same trap, just so they can have others to commiserate with later on. They’ll say things like, “We were always on and off, he wasn’t sure about me, he even got with other people until we finally got married. It happens! Love is real!” What they won’t say: “We’re miserable together and I know I can’t trust him, but I can’t stand to be alone. I’d rather tie myself to the wrong person than spend an hour on my own.” These are the lies toxic people of the world hope you buy into, when settling for relationships with them.
These are not the love stories you want to emulate. These are not the love stories you should want to choose for yourself.
Sacrifice your identity and make yourself small to cater to them. A narcissist will ask you to shrink so they can take up all the space in the room; a healthy soulmate will encourage you to grow, expand, and pursue your wildest dreams, with or without them. A soulmate will love your multifaceted self. Even in cases where you’re not searching for a soulmate, real love means you’re willing to detach and show true love and respect for yourself from any situation that makes you feel less than. It will be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do, but it will also be the most rewarding. While you wait for your soulmate and a healthy love, the world is waiting for you to choose yourself and the life you’ve always dreamed of. Choosing yourself and prioritizing yourself are key if you want a life unburdened and untethered by toxic love.
Your true soulmate won’t be harming you on a daily basis and asking you to lower your standards to maintain a relationship with them. Your standards and boundaries protect you from toxic people. While narcissists will try to negotiate your standards and overstep your boundaries, a true soulmate will respect them and aspire to go above and beyond what you’ve ever hoped for in love. Choosing yourself over toxic love every day is by no means easy. It will require an excruciating healing process, one where you purge all the traumas, insecurities, and critical beliefs you have about yourself, your worthiness, and your lovability, so you can allow healthy and fulfilling love in. It takes time and determination to process the life experiences that have taught you to settle for less and reprogram the mind to only accept abundance in love. It will be one of the most difficult feats you will ever engage in, because the whole world has conditioned you to believe that a relationship status, rather than a healthy relationship (with self or other) is what makes you whole.
It may seem like the world is rigged against you being happy if you choose to have higher standards and boundaries for your relationships. As you raise your standards for love, others may call you high-maintenance, or picky, or too choosy, or difficult. Let them. They are not the ones who get to live your story. They are not the ones who have to wake up every day in dread, in the arms of a toxic partner they settled for (or maybe they are, and they’re hoping you choose the same, because it will make them feel better about their own choices). On your journey to being soulfully self-partnered or soulmate love, you may be tempted by the past or triggers in your present to rush into the embrace of toxic people due to your fear of abandonment. You may fall into old patterns, or revisit ancient wounds. You may struggle to detox from trauma bonds with the person you loved and the person you thought you knew. This is just part of your healing journey.
Tell you to love yourself less or “humble” you. A true soulmate won’t try to humble you or make you love yourself less. They won’t detract from your strengths, talents, gifts, personality, and the value that you bring to this world – but a narcissist will, due to their own pathological envy and need to have the spotlight on them. To avoid toxic relationships like this, build a strong self-concept. Take small steps. Every day, ask yourself, “How would I act if I was someone who truly chose and loved themselves?” New habits and routines can emerge from just that question: maybe you feel compelled to go for morning walks, bask in nature, journal, meditate, adopt a gratitude practice, pursue a goal or dream – this is healing you and guiding you toward your highest good. Trust your intuition. And someday, you may meet a soulmate who chooses you as much as you choose yourself. But regardless of what does or doesn’t happen with someone else, you’ll know you’re infinitely better off in any case living your life for you, manifesting your dreams, pursuing your goals, expanding yourself, growing, and learning, and simply being in joy and peace, rather than settling for a toxic love that drains and depletes you in the hopes that it will bring you the love you always deserved to give to yourself.
Whether you have inflammatory bowel disease or not, chances are you have interesting stories in your rolodex about your dating past. The week I was diagnosed and hospitalized with Crohn’s, my heart was broken not only about my health, but also by my boyfriend at the time. Despite the breakup happening 19 years ago, I still recall how heartbroken I felt to lose love and my identity as a healthy person at the same time.
I was 21 years old, fresh out of college, ready to take the world by storm, with a supportive boyfriend by my side, when everything came to a screeching halt. The day I was released from the hospital in a wheelchair, my boyfriend who never made the effort to visit me, broke up with me over the phone.
Was it because I now had a chronic illness? I remember standing in my parent’s bedroom, crying the night it happened, and my mom saying, “Well, you’re not perfect to him anymore.” Talk about a punch to the gut. So many of us with Crohn’s disease are diagnosed prior to finding our person. It can feel daunting to even begin to think about what it will take to find a partner despite our health flaws that have no end in sight. At 21-years-old, I immediately felt like my Crohn’s was a scarlet letter and that I was unlovable.
As the years went on, I dated some great guys who never made me feel less than or a burden. They showed there were people out there who didn’t see my Crohn’s as a deterrent, and I was grateful for their support. But still, there were some bad apples along the way. There was the outdoorsy dude who decided he would prefer to go fishing instead of visiting me in the hospital. Gas prices were “too high” for him to drive three hours and he preferred to be outside with friends as I embarked on starting biologic medication for the first time. Then there was the new guy I met at a conference who laughed at me while I cried on the toilet and had to cancel our first date. He joked that I was making up excuses and just didn’t want to see him. I ended up in the hospital with a serious flare that night.
But that’s enough about the past — let’s talk about the now and how you can find a partner to fulfill your needs and be everything you deserve.
The Do’s and Don’ts for Dating with IBD
One of the most challenging parts of dating someone early on, is knowing when to share that you have IBD. I recommend talking with the person about your health (in person if possible) by the third date. This way, you haven’t invested much time or energy, and you can get a feel for how they react. It also allows you to be honest and upfront and not feel like you’re hiding anything. Pay close attention to their body language and what they say. Not everyone is cut out for being with someone who has a chronic illness, it doesn’t make them a bad person, but it means they aren’t right for you. Keep your explanation high level, you don’t need to go into all the nitty gritty. Allow the person to educate themself and ask you questions.
Do not settle or make excuses for your partner. If you find yourself feeling unsupported or made to feel like a burden, move on to the next. Our IBD gives us superpowers to see the true characters of others — whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship. Use this clarity to your advantage. If you want someone to be present and they refuse to be, they are not the one for you.
Do not allow your partner to make you feel guilty when you have to cancel plans because of how you are feeling. If anything, allow your partner to be your voice of reason. Oftentimes my husband will give me an out and say it’s ok not to go or to stay home. This often allows me to feel more at ease if we have to cancel plans or pivot.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. With IBD being invisible, it’s so easy for us to put on a brave face and a smile even when we’re hurting. What you don’t share only restricts your partner from being able to help you and support you. I know it can feel like you’re complaining or wanting sympathy, but let them know. If I’m having a “bad” Crohn’s day, I’ll simply text or tell my husband that so he is aware. We can’t expect our partners to be mind readers and shielding them from our pain is doing everyone involved an injustice.
June marks 8 years I’ve been married; my husband and I have three kids. I started dating my husband in August 2013, right before my health took a terrible turn for the worst. The way he responded and supported me in times of vulnerability truly solidified our relationship and built a tremendous sense of trust. He exemplifies what it means to love your spouse in sickness and in health and steps up with the kids when I’m having a high symptom day.
All in all, you want to find someone who doesn’t see your disease as a deterrent, but rather someone who admires your resilience and how you take on life despite your unpredictable health. You want someone who is holding your hand and lifting you up when you’re too weak to stand on your own. You want someone who realizes you are so much more than your illness. Your IBD impacts not only you, but them. Be patient as they navigate the waters, but don’t allow yourself to drown in the process. Trust your gut and follow your intuition. You are lovable. You are capable of being an incredible partner. And there is someone out there worthy of all you have to offer.
How do you combine working full or part-time, having career goals, and trying to climb the ladder while also having an illness that cannot be seen but has a huge impact on your day-to-day functioning? Welcome to being an ambitious person living with Crohn’s Disease! This question literally plagues my life, and honestly, if anyone has an answer to how this is fully achievable, please let me know, as I really could use some advice!
I’m not saying that I LOVE working. Like most people, I do find myself daydreaming regularly about being a lady of leisure with stacks of money, exercising, going for brunches, having Prosecco at noon, and engaging in various hobbies. But I do like my job, and I pride myself on how hard I’ve worked to get here. With an undergraduate degree, a master’s, and now a Doctorate, six years of work experience, and being 18 months away from becoming a Clinical Psychologist, it’s not like I stumbled here by accident. It’s taken almost a lifetime of commitment and determination, and then Crohn’s Disease reared its ugly head.
Working while trying to manage stomach pains, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, and a restricted diet can feel like an impossible juggling act at times. A juggling act that no one can see. I sometimes describe myself as being like a swan: I look fine on the surface, but underneath the water, my legs are kicking like crazy to keep going.
Unfortunately, luck comes into it too. I’ve been mostly lucky to have an employer who helps me manage my illness. I’ve had understanding managers who give me time off for all my medical appointments, a flexible sickness policy, and opportunities to work from home. This should be the case for everyone, but it isn’t. My heart aches for the people who I speak to who have lost their jobs due to prolonged hospital admissions or have used all their annual leave just to attend their infusion appointments.
For me, there are ways for workspaces to become Crohn’s Disease friendly, but it involves investment from managers and higher-ups to understand an illness that cannot be seen. I would argue that small research into the illness and speaking to people who live with it would help a lot with that, but I often think people don’t want to hear about a hidden bowel disease, which makes me sad. More disabled toilets in workspaces would be a suggestion, along with flexible working plans that are individualized rather than a blanket rule. A kind, compassionate, and understanding approach to the illness is needed. A manager who takes a moment to understand what it might be like to live with Crohn’s Disease before making any assumptions. A manager who wants to support you in achieving your goals.
I wonder how things could change if this perspective was shared. If people understood that those with Crohn’s Disease WANT to work and try their absolute hardest to push through the most debilitating of symptoms. I can only hope that by sharing my story and my perspective, Crohn’s Disease can be shown a little more compassion within the workplace.
King of the Underdogs can have a certain ring to it until you realize what all you had to survive. I was never a fighter, not that I wouldn’t, but because I could not. Although parasitic in nature, bullies counter their vulnerability in numbers. They travel in packs to ensure their survival. Their thirst for superiority is a learned behavior and their violence is a way to claim territory, power, and popularity. Territories shifting to a new aggressor like the boundaries of countries throughout history; power is overthrown to a new tyrant, and popularity fluxes between trends. I learned at a very young age that I was different and that in order to survive I would need courage, adaptability, and influence.
Bullies are absorbed too much into their primal self-preservation that they do not realize, eventually, like in the natural world, the host will pick the tick off, get a vaccination, or die. They do not have the ability to live synergistically; yet they would find unique ways to teach me their lessons. Once puberty hit and when I finally found some connection into the gay world, I was taken advantage of.
Then, you didn’t talk about being gay so I suppressed my pain and would carry these unresolved traumas into my young adult life. These traumas and nightmares would lead me into an addiction to meth and a diagnosis of HIV.
Being a swimmer and water polo player, underwater breathing exercises helped my body train for different competitions. One exercise required me to hold my breath for two lengths of the pool while being completely submerged. My lungs, ready to explode, screamed with agony, begging me to break the surface for air. As I finished the second lap, I hit the wall. My body shot out of the water for that longing breath. The fire that was scorching in my chest was quickly exhausted as the fresh cool air filled every alveoli of my lungs. The rush of oxygen caused me to feel light headed and euphoric, as stars twinkled in my peripheral vision. And as much as I hated these breathing exercises, I would choose them over the day I lost my breath.
I vividly remember my first breath I took after I heard, “You’re positive.” It felt empty and as cold as the swimming pool where I did so many laps. I was confused because there was no fire in my lungs as I thought there would be, no euphoria to escape to, and no twinkling stars to distract me. My chest was going to implode on itself as the floor seemed to fall under me. And as that first cold breath filled my lungs, shame, anger, and hatred began to ignite in my mind. I wanted so desperately to feel the fire again.
Ten years later, people ask how I did it. First, I am still working on it! The trick is to self-reflect and ask yourself what you can do better each day. Each day, I defined my purpose and passion. Sometimes your world will get shaken up so vigorously that it may feel that the world is against you. In these times of chaos, start creating obtainable “wins.” In time, the “wins” will get progressively bigger. The phoenix was a significant symbol for me when I was getting my life back on track. I wanted so desperately to be unfurled; but I had to remember that if I wanted to be the phoenix, I had to learn to love the fire. Once I learned to give heart to those in my darkest times, I found myself healing and rising from the ashes. I am becoming the person I needed as a kid.
Please follow my journey on Instagram or TikTok (@freakbetweenthesheets). I have created a platform that breaks down stigma around sexual health and substance use.
Characters with narcissistic and psychopathic traits grace our television screens every day, but we may feel hesitant to call these traits and behaviors out because they are idolized as charming, successful, or even humorous. In other words, we may even enjoy their plotlines so long as we don’t have to handle them in real life. Here are ten of the most narcissistic and psychopathic characters in television history. House, M.D. The show House is superbly entertaining and witty because its titular character, Gregory House played by the unbeatable Hugh Laurie, is quick-quitted and sarcastic, and he has a team of complex, rich fellow doctors with intriguing backstories. On television, he’s a delight to watch for many viewers. But in real life, Gregory House would inevitably be someone called out for having narcissistic traits and behaviors. He is overbearingly arrogant, condescending, and contemptuous to others, self-absorbed, and seems to lack empathy. We love House precisely because we don’t actually have to deal with him in real life – he’s much better enjoyed from the safety of our screen!
Nate Jacobs from EuphoriaIn Euphoria, Jacob Elordi plays Nate Jacobs, a popular star quarterback and one of the most toxic and abusive boyfriends depicted in television history. He violently abuses his girlfriend Maddy multiple times with little remorse after love bombing her into a relationship by giving her flowers every day and telling her he loves her, while being violently possessive and overprotective. He often manipulates those around him, blackmailing people who have access to his family’s secrets to stay quiet, and framing others for his misdeeds and crimes to avoid jail. He also cheats on Maddy with her best friend, Cassie Howard.
Joe Goldberg from YouIn You, Penn Badgley stars as the chillingly narcissistic and sociopathic character Joe Goldberg, a man who stalks and murders the women he claims to love. What makes Joe particularly narcissistic is that he often places the women he stalks on a pedestal, love bombing them into believing his innocent, mild-mannered, “nice guy” charming façade, only to retaliate when they do not love him back the way he likes or fall short of the image he’s created of them – for example (spoilers ahead), burying his girlfriend Candace alive because she was cheating on him, or killing Beck because she called out his true character. Talk about the ultimate devalue and discard. At the end of Season 4, he even frames an innocent victim for his murders, showing his escalating descent into cruelty. Throughout all his murders, Joe is an unreliable narrator, justifying his crimes and revealing his sense of entitlement to control and micromanage the lives and fates of others for the “greater good” or for the sake of self-defense and protection. A similar character who is narcissistic and sociopathic to Joe is Dexter Morgan from the show Dexter.
Maddie Jonson from ImpostersCece. Saffron. Alice. Ava. Will the real Maddie Jonson please stand up? In Imposters, Maddie Jonson is your typical female narcissistic sociopath, infiltrating the lives of her victims with her beauty and charm to scam them into a meaningless marriage where she runs off with their money. To do so, Maddie takes on many different identities and morphs into the “best” personality to get her victims hooked, much like real-life narcissists and psychopaths who love bomb their victims with flattery, a false mask, and false promises to get them invested for a hidden agenda. At the end, Maddie always puts herself first and while she does appear to show remorse from time to time, she seems incapable of long-lasting empathy.
Don Draper from Mad MenIn Mad Men, Don Draper is a charismatic and successful advertising executive with a history of cheating on and emotionally abusing his wife Betty Draper, as well his second wife, Megan. People who are serial cheaters and pathological liars, with a propensity for issuing violent threats, often have dark personality traits such as narcissism and psychopathy, but these behaviors are rarely called out by viewers of Mad Men due to the romanticization of Don Draper’s character and his lifestyle. Some also attribute Don’s behaviors to his history of childhood trauma, but it must be said that Don had the choice to go and heal rather than take out his issues on others. Draper keeps his double life of infidelity hidden and under wraps from his wife, and subjects her to double standards when she finally cheats on him, verbally abusing her rather than looking at his own history of cheating. He also issues violent threats, pushes her aggressively and throws things at her if she dares to call out his distant and emotionally negligent behavior. Through his explosive outbursts and affairs, he also subjects his young daughter to a hostile environment, exposing her to the abuse and having her witness him getting intimate with other women, only to swear her to secrecy.
Villanelle from Killing EveVillanelle, an assassin for the group The Twelve, is more of a psychopathic than narcissistic character, but she certainly deserves to be on this list due to her narcissistic lack of empathy. In Killing Eve, she throws ice cream at young children, castrates the husband of a French teacher she’s obsessed with, and dons different identities and masks to charm and lure her targets before she kills them.
Marie from Everybody Loves RaymondMarie is a milder case of narcissism than the other characters on this list, but she still fits the bill of the narcissistic mother to a tee. She is extremely antagonistic, self-absorbed, unempathic, and pits her children against one another and bullies her daughter-in-law, Debra. She meddles excessively in the lives of others and shows an unhealthy enmeshment and obsession with her children, making Ray her “golden child” and Robert the scapegoat.
Frank Underwood from House of Cards In House of Cards, Frank Underwood plays a connivingly ruthless narcissistic politician who murders his perceived enemies to rise in the ranks from the United States House of Representatives all the way to U.S president. Underwood manipulates and deceives many people including his own friends, and even signs off on the deaths of his employees. House of Cards is a chilling portrait of a Machiavellian narcissistic psychopath who is willing to do anything for power.
Ramsay Bolton + Joffrey Baratheon from Game of ThronesPlenty of characters on Game of Thrones fit the bill of narcissistic and psychopathic traits, including Cersei Lannister, but if we had to pick just one or two, we’d go with Ramsay and Joffrey for being the most sadistic and psychopathic of the crew. Ramsay is sadistic and violent beyond words, taking pleasure in preying on women and violating them (literary feeding one to the dogs) and dehumanizing Theon Greyjoy. Joffrey is also deeply narcissistic and psychopathic, abusing his power as king to execute Ned Stark in front of his children, and often tormenting his wife Sansa and showing cruelty to animals.
A good rom-com makes its leads seem down to Earth, even when one is Nicolas Cage. You see yourself in them as the obstacles come and reduce them to tears. You want them to triumph, to experience neverending bliss. Then you imagine yourself on screen, kissing your love interest as the leaves dance around your feet.
However, good rom-coms don’t always have realistic characters. If they make us swoon, then we don’t notice when they’re exaggerated – or even when they’re the worst people on the planet. Take these seven couples, for example. They don’t stand a chance – they’re too toxic – but they still got together in the end.
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Andie & Ben in How to Lose a Guy in 10 DaysParamount PicturesThese two genuinely hated each other. They even sang about it, loudly, in public. And yet, they were so hot that they couldn’t escape each other’s pull. They kissed, etc. But at what cost? They manipulated each other for almost their entire relationship. And we’re supposed to believe that their physical perfection trounced all the emotional pain that they caused each other? Will this couple still feel the heat when the games stop and domestic bliss casts its mighty pall?
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Juliet & Mark in Love Actually Universal PicturesMuch ink has been spilled on this pair, but a list of mismatched rom-com couples isn’t complete without them. What is Juliet going to do? She just ran out into the street to kiss her husband’s best friend Mark because – what? – he glued an image of her rotting corpse to poster paper? And now she’s going to enjoy married life as if nothing happened? Something juicy’s about to go down with Juliet, Mark, and her husband Peter. Someone’s going to scream, someone’s going to cry, and someone’s going to chop off all their hair after doing ketamine for the first time.
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Bridget & Mark Darcy – The Bridget Jones TrilogyUniversal PicturesTechnically, these two get married and have a son – but for how long? Well, not the having a son part – presumably a lifelong condition – but the being married thing. Mark Darcy is a terrible communicator and makes Bridget feel inadequate half the time, whereas Bridget lets her insecurities drive the relationship. I know this trilogy draws inspiration from Pride and Prejudice, but haven’t men learned anything in 230 years? This woman needs a man with sense and 21st-century sensibilities.
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Jamie & Aurelia in Love ActuallyUniversal PicturesAre you surprised that Love Actually is on here twice? But are you really surprised? Yeah, I’ll say it: Jamie and Aurelia are doomed. The relationship is essentially a physical one: They know nothing of each other’s values, cultures, histories, dreams. It’s cute that she learned some English, but that doesn’t inform Jamie of whether she prefers big spoon or little spoon, or whether she watches Vanderpump Rules! These are important conversations. Like, she could be a hired assassin or the Employee of the Month at the hostel from Hostel, and he wouldn’t even care because she knows the word “Yes.”
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Blane & Andie in Pretty in PinkParamount PicturesIn case you haven’t seen this titan of the rom-com genre, here’s a quick summary: Blane is rich; Andie is not; Blane stands up Andie on prom night; they fall in love. It’s about cliques and classism and confessions – standard coming-of-age rom-com fare. However, one faintly nice gesture at the end of a movie (Blane standing up for Andie) shouldn’t erase all the bullying that he put her through before. Blane may have just done the bare minimum that a boyfriend could do, but that’s not enough to make him marriage material. He’s going to grow up to become a used car salesman. Run, Andie!
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Carrie & Charles in Four Weddings & a FuneralWorking Title“Is it still raining? I hadn’t noticed” is one of the most iconically bad line readings in movie history. Additionally, Carrie – who utters the line – is one of the most toxic, noncommittal heroines in rom-com history. She only becomes interested in Charles after he gets engaged. Charles, for his part, is just as bad! He leaves his fiancée at the altar as soon as he learns that Carrie, who he barely knows, is single. These two are going to cheat on each other before Sunday.
Sometimes, you just need a really good cry, and these four coming-of-age movies are guaranteed to help you do just that.
- Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Based on a YA novel of the same name by Jesse Andrews, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl explores themes of growing up, friendship, belonging, and grief by telling the story of self-hating Greg Gaines’ eventful, tragic, and life-changing senior year of high school.
Greg spends most of his time outside of the classroom making parodies of classic movies with his “co-worker” Earl. However, when Greg’s classmate Rachel becomes sick with cancer, Greg’s mom makes it her mission to make sure he befriends her so he can support her through her illness. Poignant, hilarious, and devastating, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl is the perfect movie if you’re looking to be completely broken open by the end.
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Bridge To Terabithia Oh, LORD. Bridge To Terabithia is so, so brutal. Jess Aarons (Josh Hutcherson) befriends the new kid at school Leslie Burke (Anna-Sophia Robb) and they invent a fantasy world in the woods to escape their painful realities. Naming their imaginary kingdom Terabithia, Leslie and Jess rule the fantastical world as king and queen. Eventually, tragedy strikes and Jess must learn to cope with the real world once more. Celebrating the everlasting bond of true friendship, Bridge To Terabithia is one of the most heartwrenching and beautiful coming-of-age movies ever. Just make sure to have tissues on stand-by.
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Dead Poets SocietyJohn Keating (Robin Williams) returns to a prestigious all-boys boarding school in New England where he was once a star student to teach English. There, he encourages his students to live their lives according to their own compasses and to reject the status quo. Heartbreaking, vibrant, and poetic, Dead Poets Society is a must-watch film if you love coming-of-age stories (and also if you love weeping).
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MoonlightMoonlight is an Oscar-winning film about a young African American man named Chiron as he comes to terms with his sexuality as well as the struggles that come with simply being alive. Shot to depict three different periods of Chiron’s life–young adolescence, mid-teen, and young adult–Moonlight is truly a masterpiece that will bring you to tears.
Here are five shows that show the true power of female friendship.
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Broad City Broad City | IMDbCreated and starring comedians Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, Broad City follows the always hilarious, at times cringe, and completely insane antics of two best friends living in New York City.
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The Sex Lives of College GirlsThe Sex Lives of College Girls | IMDbCreated by Mindy Kaling, The Sex Lives Of College Girls tells the story of four freshman roommates attending Essex College in Vermont and learning how to navigate young adulthood with their newfound freedom on campus.
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Dead To Me Dead To Me | IMDbDead To Me is an original Netflix series starring Christina Applegate as Jen Harding, a realtor whose husband Ted was recently killed by a hit-and-run driver. In a grief support group, Jen meets and befriends Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini), who is grieving the “death” of her fiancé, who Judy claims passed from a heart attack. (As it turns out, Judy is actually the hit-and-run driver who killed Jen’s husband and Judy’s fiancé did not die; he left her.)
Both women handle their circumstances in very differently, with Jen struggling deeply while Judy is able to remain optimistic. However, it is this juxtaposition in their attitudes that ultimately leads the women to become extremely close. Over time, Jen becomes more unwell as she begins to put the pieces of her husband’s death together (and Judy’s secrets). Dead To Me is a black comedy well worth the watch.
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The Bold TypeThe Bold Type | IMDbThe Bold Type follows the careers, friendships, and love affairs of three best friends–Jane, Sutton, and Kat–working their dream jobs together at Scarlet magazine in New York City. At Scarlet (based on Cosmopolitan) the trio grow up and grow closer together as they make their way through life as young professionals and women in the big city.
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Sex and the CitySex and the City | IMDbFinally, the iconic HBO series Sex and the City following the chaotic, hilarious, and fabulous lives of Miranda, Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte. A show that was ahead of its time, Sex and the City is a classic for a reason; it endures, even today.
The world’s obsession with true crime has been hotly debated, wondering if our desire to learn about the nitty gritty details of the world’s worst crimes is ethical. But as despicable and tragic as many of these “popular” crimes are, they’ve also inspired some of the best prestige television of the modern era.
True crime reenactments have become a genre of their own, with at least 50 series and movies that fit into the genre. From series about murders and missing people to corporate scandals and fraud, any sort of true crime story reenacted with Hollywood’s best talent is rife for popularity. While the legality of these series can sometimes get murky, that might be part of the allure. Whether it’s the complexity of the human condition or interest in psychology, many of us are drawn to these series. So we’ve decided to rank 11 of our favorites.
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Dr. Death (2021)PeacockInspired by the podcast of the same name, Dr. Death told the story of a spinal surgeon who ended up with countless paralyzed patients and at least six dead ones. The story itself is terrifying to anyone who goes to the doctor — how do we know if we can trust them? But the series fails to go beyond the podcast and in its efforts to dramatize it with flashbacks and flash forwards, the story gets almost too muddled to follow.
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Candy (2022)HuluHulu’s Candy was the first of two major series in the past few years to tell the story of how Candy Montgomery took the life of her “friend,” Betty Gore. This version simply retells the story without adding much context to the characters’ motives or feelings. It takes the perspective of the cold narrator rather than any of the characters, relying solely on the intrigue of the source material to carry it.
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The Dropout (2022)HuluOne of the things that made The Dropout so unique was that the ending in reality was still ongoing. Starring Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes, she brought life and multiple shades to a character the media could never quite figure out. But the actual story and scandal is very much in the paperwork and less dramatic than its true crime counterparts.
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Under the Bridge (2024)HuluAnother Hulu series, Under the Bridge dives into the story of Reena Virk, a 14-year-old girl who was murdered by her peers in Victoria, British Columbia. The story itself is interesting enough, and the acting, especially from the show’s young people, is worthy of praise. But the show’s pacing spends much too long on the aftermath of the crime and not enough on the psychology of what really happened.
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Inventing Anna (2022)NetflixInventing Anna garnered acclaim from all sides for its adaptation of a well-known story originally told in a New York Magazine article. Anna Sorokin was able to somehow con New York’s wealthiest influencers and power players into thinking she was one of them. This dramatization, starring Julia Garner as Anna, was produced by Shonda Rhimes, so you know it’s going to be gold. What it does well is balance the perspective of Anna with the perspective of the people and the gray areas of the case — was Anna a feminist Robin Hood or was she just a con artist?
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Love & Death (2023)MaxAfter Hulu’s adaptation of Candy Montgomery’s notorious crime, HBO Max decided to tackle it with Love & Death, starring Elizabeth Olsen as Candy. Her portrayal of the character was lighter; the characters’ lives felt fuller; the crime felt both more shocking and more understandable. While Love & Death added more context to the characters in the already-adapted story, it’s still not perfect.
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Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story (2022)NetflixThe story of Jeffrey Dahmer is arguably the most infamous serial killer story of the last 50 years. He’s unfortunately a household name, and his cannibalistic crimes made him unique to other killers. So Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story had a lot of work to do to bring in its audiences. From Evan Peters’ performance to adding context to the victims’ lives and families, Dahmer told a familiar story in a new way. But it’s not easy to watch, begging the question, should a true crime reenactment be easy to watch?
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Welcome to Chippendale’s (2022)HuluAlthough it got less attention than other series on this list, Welcome to Chippendale’s was an enjoyable and unique series for its lightness in the face of darkness. It glamorizes the lives of those who were embroiled in the murder of Nick De Noia. A rags-to-riches immigrant story starring Kumail Nanjiani, Annaleigh Ashford, and Murray Bartlett, this Hulu series finds the fun in the fun moments of the story and the horror in the rest of it, while allowing us to understand how Steve unravels.
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The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (2018)FXCreated on the early end of true crime reenactment stories, Netflix’s The Assassination of Gianni Versace stars Darren Criss as killer Andrew Cunanan. It incorporates the glitz of Gianni Versace’s high-end life, the motives of the killer, and of course the celebrity allure of Versace. It has everything one would want from a Ryan Murphy true crime reenactment, but it doesn’t go beyond what we might expect.
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The Shrink Next Door (2021)Apple TV+Apple TV Plus’s The Shrink Next Door takes a lesser known story and turns it into a psychological handbook on how to avoid getting manipulated by your “shrink.” The casting of Paul Rudd and Will Ferrell allow us to immediately buy into the lives of these characters with humor and familiarity. But as we learn to love them, we learn that there’s something much more sinister beneath the surface. Add in the period piece vibes, and The Shrink Next Door is easily the most underrated true crime reenactment series.
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‘Baby Reindeer’ (2024)NetflixBaby Reindeer walks the line of actually being a true crime reenactment series because its main character, Donny, is played by the man he’s inspired by. It’s the only story on this list created by the story’s victim, so perhaps it’s a reach. But true crime lovers will love Baby Reindeer just as much, if not more than, its cohorts. It’s a dramatized reenactment of an amateur stand-up comedian who gets stalked amidst his prior trauma. But what sets it apart as the best is the empathy for every character and how that plays into how the events unraveled. It digs into the characters’ perceptions of one another against reality and how maybe, we’re all perpetrators at some point in our lives.
If you thought “Love Is Blind” was innovative, you clearly never watched “Room Raiders.” Here are three truly unhinged MTV reality dating shows from the 2000s that would never be made today.
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Room Raiders (2003-2009)Room Raiders was an MTV reality show with a simple premise: one single contestant would judge three others based on their bedrooms and would use their assessment to choose who they wanted to go on a date with. Factors including cleanliness, organization, decor, whether the bed was made, etc. Oh, but that’s not all; the three potential dates also got to snoop through the raider’s room too. At the end, the raider and three potential dates come face to face and the single raider decides who they want to ask out.
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Next (2005-2008)Next was true mayhem and it was honestly amazing. Here’s how it went down: one contestant goes on up to five blind dates (known as “the daters”). The catch is that the contestant can end the date whenever they want, without warning, simply by saying, “Next!” The other catch is that the daters will earn $1 for every minute they last on the date.
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Date My Mom (2004-2006)Date My Mom was the weird show where single people between the ages of 18 and 24 would go on three separate dates with three different moms. On these dates, the mothers would attempt to convince the single person to date their son or daughter. Yeah. It was weird.
Recently, I felt an existential chill down my spine after reading a certain headline. Now, since I prefer to cast my negative emotions onto others instead of dealing with them in a healthy way, I’m going to share that headline with you! It was news from China – namely, the advent of a software that resurrects your dead loved ones via deadfake and generative AI technology. In other words, you could now spend time with AI “living” versions of your loved ones. It sounded eerily familiar to me. Then I realized that the same thing happened in the Black Mirror episode “Be Right Back.”
So, to celebrate the fact that humankind is slowly losing its humanity, here are seven futuristic sci-fi movies that have predicted our future.
Minority Report (2002)DreamWorksThis movie is underrated! It’s Tom Cruise at his very best – post-Nicole, pre-Katie, and less loud about doing all his own stunts. It’s also Steven Spielberg firing on all cylinders, serving sleek action scene realness. No crumbs! Except there are crumbs. While the overall plot – fortune-telling gooey people predicting crimes before they happen – has not come true, one aspect of the movie has. In Minority Report, billboards project holograms that call people’s names and advertise exactly what they want based on their past behaviors and decisions. Unfortunately, that’s already happening thanks to cookies, algorithms, geolocation, and eavesdropping Alexas. You might not be seeing holograms, but you’re seeing ads for the last vacuum cleaner you talked about at breakfast. That’s creepy enough.
Total Recall (1990) & Upgrade (2018)Tri-Star PicturesTotal Recall stars Arnold Schwarzenegger in his sci-fi action hero era as Douglas Quaid, who suddenly remembers one day that he used to be a secret agent on Mars. We all do it! While the movie features plenty of memorable sci-fi concepts – it’s adapted from Philip K. Dick, after all – there’s one that doesn’t seem so far-fetched. That would be the self-driving car that Ahnold powers with his voice – an idea that probably had 1990 bros screaming “Bitchin!” when they saw it. However, the 2018 movie Upgrade took self-driving cars to their logical conclusion: when they f&ck up and crash. Thanks to Elon Musk, that’s now a reality as well.
The Matrix (1999)Warner Bros.The very epitome of ‘90s cool, The Matrix sped into theaters with several missions in mind, one of which was to bring trench coats back in a big way. However, it also sought to explore the techno-psychological implications of an increasingly digitized world, imagining a future in which we experience technological synergy. Well, have you heard of the Metaverse? According to reports, Gen Alpha are spending more and more time interacting with people online in virtual spaces than with their own friends in real life. Is it time to take the red pill?
Her (2013)Warner Bros.Oh, how we laughed at Her! How we admired its daring romanticism! “Surely, that would never happen,” we told ourselves as we walked out of the theater. “A man could never fall in love with an AI voice. Love is a flesh-and-blood sensation; any alternative would sap us of our humanity!” But the genuinely touching love story of Her may have actually made a great case for the AI girlfriends and boyfriends that very much exist today. People are literally falling in love with computer programs, and OpenAI even apparently stole Scarlet Johansson’s voice. Oh, also, Love is Blind! People were already falling in love with voices before AI girlfriends; it was a warmup.
The Truman Show (1998)Paramount PicturesThe Real World had been out for years when The Truman Show premiered, so we can’t credit it for predicting reality TV. However, the movie’s central premise – that regular people would watch another regular person carry out basic everyday activities, sans wit or point of view – is uncannily similar to vlogging. How many of us waste minutes of our days watching narcissists say the most mundane statements as they apply lip liner? Alternatively, you could claim that The Truman Show predicted the surveillance state that we now live in. Unfortunately, the government now tracks people via not only face-recognition technology, but also smartwatches, laptop cameras, and fitness bands. Say no to apps tracking you, y’all!
For those of us who would love to live the friends-to-lovers storyline.
Bridgerton Season 3 finally brings us the heart-melting romance between Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton. Unlike the previous seasons’ enemies-to-lovers couples, these two transform their childhood friendship into a beautiful romance. Their long-awaited happily ever after feels like a romantic fairytale, but it also offers some great lessons on how the strongest loves can blossom from the sturdiest friendships.
A close friendship can become a strong foundation for romance.Penelope and Colin’s friendship is the real secret to their fairytale romance. They’ve spent years getting to know each other’s quirks and building trust. This deep understanding and genuine connection give their love a solid foundation to build on. Their long-standing bond shows that being friends first can make a romance even more special and lasting.
Mutual support can strengthen the bond between romantic partners.NetflixPen always hypes Colin up, supporting whatever big ambitions he’s chasing. And on the flip side, Colin has her back 100% as she navigates the insecurities and craziness that come with hiding her secret identity. That kind of mutual ride-or-die energy strengthens the bond between them. And when you think about it, that kind of deep, solid support could be the key ingredient for a romance to go the distance.
Open communication can help cut through tension and strengthen a romance.Any good, lasting relationship is built on being able to really talk to each other — the good, the bad, and the ugly. That’s the great thing about Penelope and Colin’s friendship — there’s already such an easy openness there. No need for them to ever walk on eggshells. And they can just lay it all out — quirks and all —knowing the other person truly sees them. With that level of honest communication already ingrained from their years as friends, you can imagine how solid the foundation is for them as a couple. That’s the kind of real, vulnerable talk that breathes life into a romance for the long haul.
Having shared interests gives lovers loads to discuss.Penelope and Colin are childhood buds. And through years of friendship, they’ve discovered and bonded over their mutual love for good writing and literature. Already having that foundation of mutual hobbies and activities they’re passionate about gives them a head start for romance. It gives them all sorts of built-in things to experience and connect over as a couple right off the bat. Having common passions that you can enthusiastically discuss creates a fun, engaging world you can geek out in together.
Patience and understanding can help you weather anything romantically.NetflixBecause they’ve been buddies forever, Penelope and Colin have developed patience and understanding that should help them weather anything romantically. Despite receiving no reciprocation, Pen has been pretty patient with her childhood crush. And even after reading Colin’s juicy journal, she seemed pretty understanding of his trysts.
Trust and loyalty make navigating romance easier.When you’ve gone through the trenches with someone as just friends, your trust and loyalty can become the glue that really holds your romance together. Pen and Colin had each other’s backs through their years of friendship. So when things finally turned intimate during that oh-so-scandalous carriage ride, Penelope trusted Colin completely.
Emotional intimacy can make a romance feel more meaningful and sincere.For years before anything romantic ever went down, Pen and Colin had cultivated this crazy deep emotional bond and intimacy, just from being each other’s trusted confidants. They knew everything about each other. So stepping into a relationship together, they already had that raw vulnerability and emotional closeness on lock. That’s the real key — letting an intensely intimate friendship be the foundation before catching feelings. With that emotional intimacy already cemented, their love isn’t just physical, but soul-deep.
When true friends accept each other for who they are, they can foster a healthy and authentic romance.Pen and Colin can fully be themselves around each other after being friends for so long. No fronts, no games — just raw, unfiltered authenticity from knowing and accepting every part of each other, flaws and all. Once the romance kicked in, they already had this foundation of wholehearted acceptance in place. Accepting and embracing someone’s real self gives love an authenticity that can help it flourish.
Friends who grow together create a dynamic and evolving relationship.Pen and Colin have always encouraged each other to chase their wildest ambitions. Penelope with her writing, and Colin with his travels and adventures. They witnessed each other’s glow-ups over the years and supported their individual evolutions. But the two also grew together as a unit — their friendship deepening as they worked side-by-side to help Penelope find a husband. With that foundation of uplifting growth, their love wasn’t just a fiery fling, but a partnership nurturing them both to thrive.
Unconditional love found in friendship can turn into a powerful romantic love.Pen and Colin’s bond goes way deeper than just your usual bestie vibes. Penelope carried a deep, unconditional love for him for years — even when he was oblivious and it was unrequited. She still loved him, despite learning of his romantic escapades. And he still confessed his love for her, despite knowing how the ton would criticize him for choosing her. The two let their unconditional, soulmate-level friendship ignite the spark before the fire of romance. And with that foundation, their love could withstand any storm and stand the test of time.
We love “good for her” movies – a special niche of films that celebrate a woman’s ability to get justice on her own terms and validate viewers on a deep level. Here are six light-hearted, sassy, and inspirational “good for her” movies that will help you heal from a break-up with a toxic person or narcissist and remind you that the best revenge is success, personal growth, and leveling up. Legally Blonde. There’s a running joke that women who go through a break-up often start three businesses, buy two homes, and graduate from Harvard shortly after. What, like it’s hard? But seriously, there’s no one more determined than a woman who is catapulted into victory and channels her experiences into her success after heartbreak. Watching Reese Witherspoon’s character Elle Woods rise to the top of her Harvard class after being broken up with for not being deemed “smart” enough by her obnoxious ex-boyfriend is so healing. After realizing her boyfriend isn’t worthy of her attempts to get him back, she puts her energy solely into her studies and realizes she’s a lot more intelligent and determined than people gave her credit for. This journey brings her to connect with her true gifts as a future lawyer and fashion designer, her real friends, and a much better partner. We’ll also never forget one of the most poignant pieces of wisdom she left us with: “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t kill their husbands!” Right on.
How To Be Single. Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson star in this hilarious comedy about what it feels like to be freshly single after a break-up in New York city with your girlfriends. Alice decides to pursue her career in New York, leaving her boyfriend Josh behind to explore what it’s like to be on her own for the first time as she never got a chance to do so, leaping straight from college to her four-year relationship. What follows is a salaciously delicious movie about wild nights with her newfound friend Robin, fun flings, and immeasurable self-discovery. How to Be Single turns every rom-com trope upside on its head with its irreverently brilliant writing and is ultimately a celebration of sisterhood and singlehood. You won’t be able to stop laughing, which is so much better than crying over a toxic person.
The Other Woman.Women who conspire against the same cheating man together thrive together! Or at least that feels like the spirit of the movie, The Other Woman, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton, and Leslie Mann. When New York attorney Carly Whitten begins dating Mark King, a charming and handsome businessman, she has no idea he secretly has a wife, Kate. Rather than wallow in this betrayal and inevitable ending of their respective relationships, however, Kate and Carly conspire to follow Mark and catch Mark with another mistress in the Hamptons, Amber (Kate Upton) who he is also exploiting to cover up fraud in one of his business dealings. What ensues is the hilarity of all three women holding Mark accountable by pulling a number of shenanigans to sabotage Mark and later confronting him together, and then move forward into their dream lives after gaining closure. Talk about a group break-up for the ages! The Other Woman illuminates the manipulation of pathological liars in a light-hearted, empowering comedy about women joining together to take down the same toxic person.
The First Wives Club. This classic movie starring the iconic trio Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, and Diane Keaton is the blueprint for all “good-for-her” break-up movies. Three best friends from college, Annie, Brenda, and Elise are shaken by the suicide of another friend, Cynthia who ended her life due to her husband leaving her for another woman. This departed friend leaves them a letter than causes the friends to reunite and commiserate on their own philandering husbands and plot a clever scheme against all three husbands to get justice on their own terms. Goldie Hawn stars as Elise, an actress who helped her film producer husband Bill rise to the top but is abandoned for a younger woman. Brenda is also facing divorce and financial disaster, and Annie is trying to work through potential separation while navigating co-parenting. The First Wives Club is a sassy take on sisterhood and moving forward that will help you heal from your break-up.
John Tucker Must DieBasketball star John Tucker is a bonafide player, but this time, he may have just messed with the wrong women. When three young women from different cliques at the same school (a class overachiever, a head cheerleader, and a vegan activist) discover they are all dating John who promised them to secrecy about their respective relationships, they decide they must get even. However, after a few failed pranks go awry, they realize the best way to outplay the player is to break his heart. Kate, the studious and shy overachiever, is assigned to be the heartbreaker of the trio after she goes through a glow-up and joins the cheerleading squad, causing John to become obsessed with her. What follows is a delightful comedy about players who self-destruct and women who get the last word.
Under the Tuscan Sun Frances Mayes is living a seemingly ideal life: she is a writer in San Francisco married to a loving husband – except she discovers that husband has been cheating on her this whole time, all while relying on Frances’ income. Unfortunately for Frances, the divorce results in the loss of her house and she watches her husband ride off to the sunset with her house and a younger, pregnant new girlfriend. When a friend encourages Frances to vacation in Italy, she becomes the owner of a villa and begins a new life, while inviting new love in. Under the Tuscan Sun is a beautifully mesmerizing and hopeful “good for her” film that encourages women to start new beginnings and heal their own hearts in powerful ways.
Stand-up comedian Richard Gadd took the world by storm with his debut Netflix series, Baby Reindeer, which was clearly far more successful than his debut Edinburgh Fringe show (as depicted in the series). Richard plays a version of himself named Donny, an aspiring stand-up comedian who works in a London pub. Baby Reindeer tells the true story of Richard’s experience with his stalker.
The hook of Baby Reindeer is the intensity and uniqueness of his story as the victim of a female stalker named Martha, whose real-life identity we know but won’t share out of respect to her. Each of the seven episodes dives into how Donny allows Martha into his life, how she began stalking him, and how that grew into an obsession, not just for Martha, but also for Donny. And while Martha is painted as the villain of Baby Reindeer, the true villain is a man in the entertainment industry, Darrien, whose real-life identity we may never learn because of the power he holds.
Darrien takes advantage of Donny’s vulnerability as a failing comedian and takes him under his wing. He earns Donny’s trust until he’s able to get Donny alone in his home, get him high, and sexually assault him multiple times. Donny is painted as a willing victim of sexual assault, who returns to the home of his abuser for the promise of money or fame, a promise he knows may never be fulfilled. And yet, many viewers have fixated on Martha instead.
If ‘Baby Reindeer’ followed a female victim, the world may have had a different reaction.The world and Baby Reindeer’s creators are seemingly just as obsessed with Martha’s story as she was with Donny. But if we reversed the gender roles, if the story had followed a woman stalked by a man, would we have the same reaction? Women are stalked (and sexually assaulted) every day, and rarely does a story about it go as viral as Baby Reindeer.
NetflixPerhaps that’s due to the quality of Baby Reindeer, as well as Donny’s perspective. He thinks his “empathy” allows him to let Martha into his life. But upon further examination, his desperate need for attention, validation, and the love that he was so starved of after dealing with his abuser created the space for her. On the other hand, how often have stories been told from this perspective about women being stalked?
According to the National Stalking Helpline, over 75% of victims of stalking are women, whereas less than 25% are male. 1 in 5 women will be stalked in their lifetime, while 1 in 10 men will be stalked. Perhaps the anomaly of Richard’s story is what led to the world’s infatuation with Baby Reindeer, but that doesn’t mean we should place less importance on the stories of female victims.
When we think of true crime reenactment series with female victims at the center, women are often portrayed as the “girl who lit up a room,” a simple victim of the patriarchy, and a damsel in distress with little agency of her own. In Richard’s story, he has agency, but he doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it in a productive way, hence often blaming himself for the situation he was in.
In all honesty, I don’t think Netflix would have told his story if he were a woman. The way he talks about himself can be conflated with “victim blaming,” which Netflix would expect viewers to dismiss and criticize with a woman at its center. But female victims do blame themselves; yet in the stories told about them, we’re more often forced to engage with the grit and lure of the perpetrator rather than the victim’s reckoning with her situation.
Even when I searched for series about female victims of stalking, the only results that populated were about Baby Reindeer. Perhaps that’s due to a flaw in Google’s algorithm, but it could also be because there is simply no story popular enough about a female victim of a crime that disproportionately affects women.
The main draw of ‘Baby Reindeer’ is the “monstrous woman.”Add to that the fact that the central draw of Baby Reindeer is the “crazy woman.” According to Richard, the real-life Martha sent him 41,071 emails, 744 tweets, and 350 hours of voicemails. This is certainly abusive and harrowing behavior, but for some reason, society seems infatuated with this caricature of the “crazy woman.”
How many times have you heard a man call his ex “crazy”? Of course, it’s warranted for Donny to call Martha “mentally unwell,” but in doing so, it continues to drive the narrative that women are “crazy.” The Conversation reiterates our “fascination” with “monstrous women,” a description Martha seems to fit.
“It’s also perhaps dispiriting that we accommodate male offending into our expectations of masculinity,” they share. “In doing so we perceive male offenders to be independent, rational, autonomous and responsible. In contrast, and as is the case with Martha, women offenders are viewed as dependent, emotional, irresponsible and not entirely adult.” Baby Reindeer’s handling of its two villains—Darrien and Martha—perpetuate these stereotypes.
NetflixIn fact, Richard and Netflix’s approach to Baby Reindeer’s popularity did actual damage to the real-life Martha. By throwing a woman under the bus and using her story to fuel the marketing machine, Baby Reindeer actively hurt a woman. Does the combination of perpetuating stereotypes, focusing on a male victim, and hurting a woman make Baby Reindeer anti-feminist?
‘Baby Reindeer’ is more feminist than it seems to be.In actuality, Baby Reindeer may not focus on a female victim, but it does shed light on a problem many women face. Some might argue that based on everything I’ve said, Baby Reindeer is anti-feminist. But I need to argue against myself here because Baby Reindeer isn’t about women. However, it is about gender and sexual violence, both of which are issues women (more often than not) are forced to deal with.
As Donny reckons with his sexuality and his perceived loss of masculinity, Martha’s heterosexual infatuation with him drives the confused part of his brain to accept her. In a way, Baby Reindeer digs deeper into these issues than the surface level of saying “women are crazy.” It says instead that the definitions of men and women prescribed by society are incorrect—we often need to see the nuances in gender and sexuality to empathize with and understand trauma.
That idea in itself is innately feminist. Feminism is about equality of the genders and supporting those who are disenfranchised because of their gender. In addition, anyone can be a victim of the patriarchy, including men, as seen in Donny’s relationship with Darrien. When men hold power in an industry and in the world, they can assert “masculinity” over anyone, regardless of the victim’s gender. And Richard’s bravery in sharing his story of sexual assault, which can be painted as emasculating, along with his exploration of gender and sexuality, is what makes Baby Reindeer more feminist than it may seem to be on the surface.
Are your favorite SNL cast members on our list?
Since its inaugural season in 1975, Saturday Night Live has established itself as a pillar of sketch comedy, popularizing the format for generations of viewers from the swinging ‘70s onwards. From one decade to the next, SNL has maintained its taut hold over mainstream comedy, ushering in dozens upon dozens of awe-inspiring talents who have graced NBC’s sound stage at one time or another.
With much of the show’s success predicated upon the strengths and comedic sensibilities of its cast, Saturday Night Live has shined a spotlight on countless younger comedians over the years. From the founding members of the Not Ready For Primetime Players to more contemporary stars like Bill Hader, here are seven of the best cast members to ever perform on Saturday Night Live.
Will FerrellIt’s hard to think of a comedian more synonymous with SNL than Will Ferrell. Rising through the show’s cast list from the mid ‘90s until the start of the 2000s, Ferrell could do anything and everything he set his mind to, whether convincingly playing an air-headed George Bush or portraying a beleaguered Alex Trebek. A fantastic comic able to play the straight man, a scene-stealing supporting character, or headline his own surreal sketches, Ferrell made any segment he appeared in well worth watching, regardless of whether he was screaming, crying, or delivering his lines with a sardonic straight face.
Eddie MurphyAt the close of its fifth season, most of the original cast and crew of Saturday Night Live departed the series for greener pastures, including SNL mastermind and backstage producer, Lorne Michaels. Rebuilding the show from the ground-up, NBC executives recruited a variety of little-known comics to fill out their non-existent cast lineup. For as many comedians as SNL hired during this period, however, the show’s true saving grace came with 19-year-old stand-up talent, Eddie Murphy.
The breakout superstar of SNL at the start of the decade, Eddie Murphy helped carry the series on his shoulders following Michaels’ exit, ensuring Saturday Night Live lived on into the 1980s. Embodying an eclectic rogues’ gallery of recurring characters–from the crotechy primadonna Gumby to his twisted Mr. Rogers parody, Mr. Robinson–Murphy gave audiences a reason to tune into SNL during an incredibly uncertain point in the series’ history.
Chris FarleyThe dramatic successor to John Belushi–a man he idolized in more ways than one–Chris Farley truly personified the core characteristics of a young Belushi in his prime. Alternating between explosive fits of anger and energetic slapstick, Farley demonstrated unwavering commitment to each and every sketch he was featured in, from competing in a dance-off against Patrick Swayze to randomly tossing himself through a wooden table in the middle of a scene.
Gilda RadnerOne of the original members of the Not Ready For Primetime Players, Gilda Radner won over the hearts and minds of every viewer in the mid 1970s, demonstrating a keen willingness to elicit laughter on a weekly basis. Popping up on SNL in a wide array of sketches and segments, Radner could tickle audiences’ funny bones through her absurdist humor or inspired physical comedy (as seen with her hilarious dance numbers with Steve Martin). Possessing unique comedic chemistry with almost every one of her co-stars, Radner blazed a trail for almost every female comedian who followed, from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to Kate McKinnon and Kristen Wiig.
Bill HaderQuite possibly the most skilled impressionist SNL has ever had, Bill Hader possessed that rare quality that most comics lack: versatility. Like Peter Sellers or Mike Myers before him, Hader disappeared into each of his characters, whether he was portraying a real-world figure like Vincent Price or a fictional creation like “Weekend Update”’s city-life correspondent, Stefon. From his distinct array of satirical voices to his penchant for breaking out in laughter mid-sketch, Hader had a way of elevating every sketch he was featured in–sometimes without even having to utter a word at all.
Norm MacdonaldNorm Macdonald may not have been the first person to helm “Weekend Update,” but he’s almost assuredly among the greatest hosts the segment has ever seen. Whereas most other hosts drew on a more sarcastic, straight-faced sense of humor, Macdonald specialized in darker, more bizarre comic delivery, such as his repeated attacks on O.J. Simpson that ultimately got him ousted from the show. A performer well ahead of his time, Macdonald’s incendiary humor allowed for a comedian of frightening unpredictability, with viewers waiting on the edge of their seat in anticipation of Norm’s next shocking joke.
John BelushiAnother member of the original Not Ready For Primetime Players, John Belushi brought a fiery intensity to SNL that viewers simply couldn’t ignore. Whether screaming at the top of his lungs or juking and jiving around on-stage in a fedora and sunglasses, Belushi’s far-ranging gifts as a comedic performer were simply unmatched. An extraordinary talent who thrived off of eccentric roles, there’s a reason Belushi is always mentioned in the same breath as Will Ferrell or Eddie Murphy as one the show’s breakout stars: he was simply that good.
According to Bridgerton showrunners, Season 3 of the show is finally showcasing a queer romance. But where is it? So far, we’re four episodes in and the only gay thing about the show is that ten-foot-tall wig with the mechanical swans that Queen Charlotte wore to the Temu version of Swan Lake. Related: Have we ever seen her standing?
That’s not to say that Season 3 isn’t beat for the gods. The costumes, the swoons, the sighs, the string quartet versions of pop hits … Everything is serving. There are just enough close-ups of Penelope’s heaving breasts. (Does she need an inhaler?) There are also lovely shots of Penelope and Colin collapsing onto beds dramatically. And speaking of drama, there’s a hefty dose of that as well: For most of the season’s first four episodes, you hope and pray that Penelope will snap and set someone’s Persian rug on fire.
We have receipts, though! In April, showrunner Jess Brownell told Pride: “This is a show about love in its many forms and I think that it’s only right for us to foreground queer love and to tell queer stories.”
So, did we all miss something?
Well, you see, Season 3 is queerer than you think.
There’s Penelope, first of all. She’s an outsider who struggles to reconcile her desires (read books) with society’s expectations (pretend to read books). She wants freedom – freedom of thought, freedom of expression – but dislikes the conventional ways of arriving there (entering the traditional marriage market). So, she holds herself back. She lowers her expectations and seeks comfort over happiness. She chooses a 19th-century vegan over love. Now, swap out “read books” for “kiss people of the same sex,” and replace “19th-century vegan” with “traditional heterosexual love interest.” Suddenly, you have the tragic love story of every closeted queer person on the planet.
Then there are those stolen moments. When Penelope repairs Colin’s hand, the brief touch sets her cells ablaze. You know she remembers that touch forever – harbors it, nurtures it, summons it, devours it. What queer person hasn’t felt this way towards a straight crush? As one character puts it, “Once you have performed your function and found your match, you are free.” But is the soul free in a loveless marriage?
Then there’s those supporting characters. Benedict appears to be oriented towards women; and yet, he gravitates towards the emotionally unavailable one. Similarly, queer people avoid emotionally transparent arrangements, at least when reacting to trauma. We often bar ourselves from all-consuming love, fearful of true freedom.
There’s also Francesca, who shuns the dances and lemonades and endless conversations, opting instead for meaningful silences. In fact, when a rakish suitor makes a sensual comment to her, she balks. The only times she lights up are when she’s discussing, performing, or being recognized for her music. Is she asexual? Sapiosexual? In both cases, she’s queer.
NetflixOh, and there’s Eloise, who is the most queer-coded of the bunch. She’s always preferred Wollstonecraft to Austen, philosophy to embroidery; she scoffs whenever traditional marriage is mentioned. But above all, she thrives at the borders of society. It’s here where she deploys her repartee and charm, delighting women and men alike, rising above her station. Trapped in a heterosexual marriage, she’d wither.
However, the showrunner did tease that someone will be coming out – and in that spirit, I’ll be placing my bets on Eloise. After all, why else would Eloise have suddenly changed her entire personality to become besties with that girl Cressida? The only explanation is love. And side-note: I just realized that Cressida has the same name as Natalie Dormer’s character in the Hunger Games: Mockingjay. I really thought that all Hunger Games names were just, like, batsh&t sci-fi inventions that would never appear anywhere else, but apparently I was wrong.
So anyway, I would put good money on Eloise becoming the queer diamond of Season 3. Sure, I may be putting my foot in my mouth once Episodes 5-8 come out on June 13, but I’ll rest easy knowing that whoever comes out will have joined a very queer story, even if only subtly so. Each of these characters vibrates with queer themes, and a queer theorist would have a heyday with this story – or any story from Regency England, for that matter. That said, I will be very mad if literally no one comes out, since the showrunners have teased it so much. Plus, there’s no way that they were only referring to that brief moment in Season 3 when the two sex workers make out. No way. Please tell me no. I will die inside.
(Please let it be Eloise.)
Could you tell if you were in a relationship with a psychopath? A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the four tell-tale signs you may be dealing with a psychopathic partner rather than an empathic one.
Sweeping you off your feet into one-sided partnerships by pretending there will be reciprocity, only to undervalue you and degrade you. In most healthy relationships, there is a natural sense of reciprocity. Empathic people love doing things for one another – whether it be demonstrating their love and respect through acts of service, words of affirmation, or quality time. While there is no strict scoreboard in a healthy relationship of who did what for whom, this is more of an organic quid pro quo where people genuinely enjoy giving to each other and appreciating one another even while valuing each other beyond what the other can do for them. In a relationship with a psychopathic individual, a victim is often love-bombed with many grand, future-faking promises to get them invested in a future that may never come to fruition in order to meet a specific agenda. For example, psychopaths tend to lead parasitic lifestyles, so they may leech off the resources of others. Perhaps they need a place to stay, or to ride someone’s coattails for a while, or access to your emotional or domestic labor. Maybe they need the illusion of normalcy, and marriage with you fulfills that need. Whatever their particular motives may be, people with these dark personality traits are quick to charm you and swoop you off your feet, all while knowing they never intend to give you that fulfilling, nurturing relationship they promised. As soon as you’ve let them move into your home, said I do, or raised their kids, they will abruptly drop the charismatic façade and become cold, callous, cruel, and withholding. They will devalue you and make it seem as if you should expect nothing from them, even if they went out of their way to promise you the world.
Engaging in mind games and provoking chaos even when the relationship seems to be going well.When two empathic people find themselves in a happy, healthy relationship, they could not be more overjoyed. They try to make sure this joy is not unnecessarily disturbed by outside factors. Psychopaths, on the other hand, are prone to boredom and are sensation-seeking individuals. They purposely create chaos where there is normally peace. That is why in a relationship with a psychopath, you’ll often find yourself suddenly mired in crazymaking arguments, gaslighting, and stonewalling at unpredictable moments, just when you thought the relationship was going well. They will bring in the presence of other people into the dynamic of the relationship to make you feel anxious and off-kilter. They will deliberately disrupt the stability of the relationship just for fun and experience duping delight whenever they manage to fool you back into the cycle of mistreatment and abuse. They will distort your perception of reality, make you question and doubt yourself, and subject you to the silent treatment randomly to keep you fixated on them.
Pitting you against others and making you exert yourself to “win” them over in manufactured competitions.Empathic people will never make you feel like you have to compete or compare to have their affection and attention. They will consistently show you love and appreciation, making you feel irreplaceable and valued in relationships. In contrast, psychopaths as well as narcissists are adept at pitting people against one another and engaging in jealousy induction. They will provoke jealousy for the purpose of power and control, to test the relationship, or even as a form of retaliation for any perceived slight or jealousy you may have stirred in them through no fault of your own. As a result, you may find yourself overexerting yourself, overexplaining your worth and value, attempting to prove yourself – all to a person who had to spend long periods of time and energy manipulating you into investing in them in the first place. In the beginning, they were the ones desperately seeking your approval and access to you: so, ask yourself, why are you now suddenly being manipulated into making them the center of your existence? By pitting you against other love prospects or other people in general, they’re hoping you’ll play the comparison game and stay focused and centered on them, so you do the work for them of staying invested in the relationship even while they opt out.
Putting you on the pedestal, only to throw you off of it abruptly in a conditional love that asks you to accept mistreatment while doing vast amounts of labor for them. The more you do for them, the crueler they get. Empathic people don’t overly idolize others at the onset: they grow to have an authentic, healthy appreciation for those they are in relationships with. Organic friendships and romantic relationships thrive with empathic people because they are built at a sustainable pace: two people get to know each other and experience a love that is solid because it is real – they are compatible in their goals, values, interests, and worldviews. That is why these relationships tend to be consistently loving. In a relationship with a psychopath, the relationship is all smoke and mirrors – a magician’s sleight of hand. They will shower you with praise and attention one second, while cruelly devaluing you the next. Their love for you is entirely conditional on how much abuse from them you’re willing to accept and how much you can do for them. In their world, up is down and down is up. The more you respect and stand up for yourself, the more you will be pushed off the pedestal and bullied to submit to their way or the highway. Yet the more you do for them, the more they will disrespect you. There is no winning in a relationship with a psychopath. You must break the trauma bond and choose yourself.
Here are 33+ of the most profound movie quotes about life.
Forrest Gump “My momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”– Forrest Gump
Dead Poets Society (1989) “Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.”– John Keating
“There’s a time for daring and there’s a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.”– John Keating
The Lion King“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.”– Rafiki
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”– Ferris Bueller
Benjamin Button“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.”– Benjamin Button
The Theory of Everything“There should be no boundaries to human endeavor. We are all different. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there’s life, there is hope.”– Stephen Hawking
The Bucket List “You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not. ‘Have you found joy in your life?’ ‘Has your life brought joy to others?’”– Carter Chambers
Batman Begins“Why do we fall, Sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”– Alfred Pennyworth
The Hunger Games“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. Little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.”– President Snow
Just Mercy“We can’t change the world with only ideas in our minds. We need conviction in our hearts.”– Bryan Stevenson
Cast Away“I know what I have to do now. I’ve got to keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?”– Chuck Noland
V For Vendetta“There’s no certainty; only opportunity.”– V
Eat Pray Love“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”– Elizabeth Gilbert
Good Will Hunting“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.”– Sean Maguire
The Pursuit of Happyness“People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.”– Chris Gardner
Pocahontas“Sometimes, the right path is not the easiest one.”– Grandmother Willow
Black Panther“In times of crisis, the wise build bridges while the foolish build barriers.”–T’Challa
Erin Brockovich“All we need is a little bit of courage and a little bit of grace.”– Erin Brockovich
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty“Life is about courage and going into the unknown.”– Cheryl
Silver Lining Playbook“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday’s my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.”– Pat
Little Miss Sunshine“A real loser is someone who’s so afraid of not winning he doesn’t even try.”–Grandpa
“You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. You know, school, then college, then work, fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I wanna fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.”– Dwayne
50/50“You can’t change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.”– Katherine
The Grand Budapest Hotel“Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won’t get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.”– M. Gustave
Almost Famous“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.”– Lester Bangs
The Matrix“Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”– Morpheus
Everything Everywhere All At Once“The universe is so much bigger than you realize.”– Jobu Tupaki
500 Days of Summer“Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin and they end with no lasting memory made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life.” – Narrator
A Beautiful Mind “It’s called ‘life’ John. Activities available; just add meaning.”– Alicia
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest“But I tried, didn’t I? Goddamnit, at least I did that.”– McMurphy
The Green Mile“You can’t hide what’s in your heart.”– John Coffey
“I guess sometimes the past just catches up with you, whether you want it to or not.”– Old Paul Edgecomb
Girl, Interrupted “I’ve wasted a year of my life. Maybe everybody out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant.’ But I’d rather be in it. I’d rather be fucking in it, then down here with you.”– Suzanna
Hyper-independent strong women often exhibit certain traits and behaviors in their lives and relationships. While independence can be a powerful asset in one’s life, there are times it can also be more maladaptive than self-protective. In certain contexts, your hyper-independence can be channeled powerfully so long as it is also balanced with safe social networks and self-care. Here are some behaviors and traits you may only understand if you’re a hyper-independent woman.
You have trouble asking for help and trusting others.Perhaps you’re the empathic confidante and go-to person for all your friends, and the strong, powerhouse leader who takes charge in every situation no matter the context. But when it comes to asking for help yourself or trusting someone to lend a helping hand? You have a bit too much pride. You’d rather be the problem-solver and figure out everything on your own, even when you’re experiencing the worst ordeals of your life. You may not trust that people will show up for you in the way you deserve, and to be fair, you may have had plenty of evidence in your life to suggest this. It’s important to strike a balance between problem-solving and seeking out safe connections and resources. You deserve the same compassion you give to others so freely.
You’ll do anything to avoid feeling overly dependent on anyone.You got to hand it to them, hyper-independent women know how to walk away from toxic relationships and people with an ease that often shocks people, especially if these people underestimated them because they are often friendly and generous. That’s because their fear of dependence often overrides their fear of abandonment. They may be nurturing and giving, but that doesn’t mean they want to become entangled and reliant on someone toxic to dictate their life for them. They don’t want to feel emotionally entangled and enmeshed with people who they feel they can control them, so often, they’re able to do what many people struggle with in a more immediate way—detach from toxic people— because their fear of being controlled by a relationship allows their natural survival instinct to choose themselves to remain intact. For many women, their conditioned people-pleasing tendencies reign because they are instilled by society and this can make it difficult to leave and detach from toxic people, understandably so. Hyper-independent women may be self-protective, but they are often right when it comes to their instincts. Sometimes, however, hyper-independent women can stretch too far in the direction of isolating themselves from others entirely just to avoid this sense of dependency and this can be harmful to safe relationships that would benefit from more closeness and trust.
You don’t settle easily for anything, whether it be in friends or relationships — so you tend to have very high standards when it comes to your dreams and love life.Women who are used to being on their own and managing everything effectively — from creating abundance in their finances and living situation to skyrocketing success in their careers and education to having thriving social networks — are not the types to easily settle for less than the love and appreciation they know they deserve. Outsiders may call them picky and high-maintenance, but they’ve proven time and time again that if they have to do something on their own, they can and they will. They design their own lives on their own terms and are accustomed to living fulfilling lives without needing anyone. They know the value their presence and assets bring to any situation and they know they give their all when they are really invested in something or someone. That is why lackluster friendships and half-hearted relationships are rarely appealing to them and they are selective about the types of people they allow into their energy and space. They won’t waste their time and energy pursuing what doesn’t benefit them.
You genuinely love being alone.There are many different reasons why hyper-independent women may have developed hyper-independence. Some women become hyper-independent as a trauma response or way to keep themselves safe, especially if they grew up as children with no one to protect them and could only rely on themselves. Maybe you’ve had a series of turbulent relationships that taught you being alone was more peaceful than being with the wrong people or witnessed how relationships drained the people around you growing up, so you’re careful about who you let into your life lest you become emotionally dependent or enmeshed. Or you grew up with strong role models that taught you never to rely on a man or anyone for that matter to achieve your goals, so you took the initiative to be a self-starter.
Perhaps your chaotic childhood wrecked your nervous system so you spent years in chaos in adolescence and now spend your time in adulthood in recovery by detoxing from other people. Or maybe you’re just naturally built to be introspective and introverted, often withdrawing into a rich inner world of creativity that doesn’t require the input of other people. The point is, every hyper-independent woman usually has their reasons for why they are the way they are. Whatever your personal story may be, people need to realize that when you say you love being on your own, you genuinely mean it. There is nothing more joyful and peaceful to you than savoring your alone time. You feel at home hibernating from the outside world and you’re the type who can be single for long periods of time without feeling fussed, even if you have many romantic options.
You know that letting go of control can be freeing, but you’re still highly resistant to the loss of control.Hyper-independent women love to have a sense of control over their environment and circumstances, perhaps because some of them had a lack of control throughout their childhood. They have a need to know how life will unfold, because unpredictable circumstances means they have to yet again take the driver’s seat in figuring out how to navigate yet another maze their own. They would rather pre-plan and anticipate what will happen next, and ensure that they are the ones who get to make their own decisions. While they have the resourcefulness to navigate anything and everything, it’s usually more freeing for them to release as much resistance in certain situations and surrender at times to what is occurring, while also finding like-minded community to support and validate them. Radical acceptance of what is can actually help them at times to release their suffering of how they would like things to be and instead take aligned action when inspiration strikes instead. Take yourself out of your automatic “problem-solving” mode and get into a more mindful stance of observing your thoughts and emotions without the need to resolve anything just this moment.
You stretch yourself thin for the sake of perfectionism — but you low-key kind of like it. This is the part many people may not understand, but hyper-independent women often love stretching themselves thin due to their perfectionistic overachieving to an extent. Taking on multiple projects at once? Allowing yourself to be burnt out and stretched thin? Helping several people at once? Ah, the adrenaline rush! This kind of chaos is often addictive for the hyper-independent woman because it keeps her mind busy from confronting past traumas or current issues in her life, but of course it can become ultimately unhealthy when taken too far. You can still be a high achiever but remember that it is just as important to prioritize sleep, rest, and have breaks. These will actually boost your productivity, but nonetheless your worth does not rest on how productive you are. Remember that you’re not responsible for taking on the problems of others, or putting more on your plate than you truly feel capable of. You have always been and are already worthy, just as you are.
Let’s face it: 1998’s You’ve Got Mail was ahead of its time. Using just the dial-up majesty that was America Online, two lovebirds met in a chat room and became soulmates. Falling in love online? Unheard of! But this rom-com classic, even though now absolutely riddled with outdated technology, is still a gem. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan kill it in this enemies-to-lovers storyline, and we as the audience will never be the same. In fact, there are still things you can learn from the classic all these years later.
Accept that online dating is a perfectly valid option for falling in love.Okay, we all know that Tinder sucks. There have been countless TikTok accounts devoted to the absolutely atrocious profiles you’ll find on dating apps, so it can be easy to write them off as a no-go. You’re probably saying to your screen right now, “but I want to meet people the old-fashioned way!” Yeah, me too. But have you? Hey, if it can work for Tom and Meg, maybe online dating isn’t so bad. Sure, you have to sift through trash, but that’s the case “in real life,” too.
Surround yourself with books.Meg Ryan’s Kathleen Kelly and Tom Hanks’ Joe Fox are both booksellers. Their entire existence revolves around the written word. Honestly, it sounds like a dream come true. So fill up your empty shelves with well-loved tomes. Sit in parks with your favorite stories and read in the afternoon sunshine. Join book clubs. Work at the library. Most of all, make friends with people who love books, too. Y’all are a special breed.
Fight for what you love.When a big-box conglomerate bookstore opens up near Kathleen’s small independently-owned bookshop, it’s a big problem. Her business is in danger, but her mysterious-yet-sexy penpal has some advice for her: “Go to the mattresses.” A Godfather reference, it’s an encouragement to go to war, to fight for what you care about. And that’s exactly what she does. Even though it ultimately doesn’t work out for her in the end and she loses her business, the fight is worth it. Fiercely fight for what you hold dear.
Fall in love with your city.You’ve Got Mail is an ode to Manhattan, showing all the best parks and historic sites in the city. Even if you live in the middle of nowhere, you can still romanticize where you live. Go out and enjoy the little places that no one has even noticed. Hey, if you can’t have your own Joe Fox, at least you can be in love with your city just like Kathleen Kelly.
You can make friends from unlikely scenarios–but only if they’re legit awesome.Kathleen and Joe are enemies, rivals. They hate each other. Right? While their first IRL meetings were fraught with tension–and rightfully so–they still managed to transition that hate fest into a real friendship. Listen, it’s easy to stick with people who are just like you. They’re the built-in friends. But sometimes you can find people who aren’t so easy at first, and it’s all the more rewarding. Just make sure this new enemy-turned-friend is actually worth your time. Joe turned out to be a caring guy. Don’t fall for your opposite unless they have a hidden heart of gold.
Don’t let failure ruin your life.With all that “going to the mattresses,” Kathleen still lost The Shop Around The Corner, her totally adorable children’s bookstore. It was an especially big blow since it was her late mom’s store. But we can learn a lot from how she handled the defeat. She let herself wallow in it a bit, then looked on the bright side. Sure, change is hard, and failure is never fun in the moment. Still, it helps us move on from what we were doing and into something new, like Kathleen’s job offer to work in publishing. I hate to say the “closed door, open window” saying, so I’ll just stop right here.
Ditch your significant other when they don’t feel right for you.Okay, it’s totally shady that Kathleen and Joe have this online relationship when they’re both committed to other people. I can admit that. Luckily, they both ditch their significant others before finally being together. It became clear to them both that they weren’t with people who were right for them. Even if their SOs weren’t pretentious as hell–which they totally were–they just didn’t have that magnetic attraction and deep love that you need out of a partner. Take Kathleen and Joe’s lead and ditch the duds. Even if you don’t find your Joe Fox right away, it’s better to be single than with someone who isn’t right for you.
It’s often better to be friends first.Joe could have admitted right away that he was NY152, the man Kathleen had been falling for for ages. Instead, he decided they needed to be good friends first. Honestly, smart move. Some of the best real-life romances started out as friendships. Just make sure that isn’t the only reason you’re friends with someone.
Embrace the slow burn.Most rom-coms have the couple getting together as soon as they’re able. It makes sense: there are only 90 to 120 minutes to establish the couple, have them fall in love, and finally get together. In real life, it doesn’t always work that way, and that’s reflected in You’ve Got Mail. They could have gotten together as soon as Joe found out that Kathleen was Shopgirl. Or they could have made it happen when they both broke up with their significant others. Or when Kathleen closed her business. Nope, they waited until it was the right time. Waiting doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and sometimes an epic love is worth the wait.
Wait until everyone’s ready before you make your move.One of the main reasons why they waited so long was because Joe was holding out until Kathleen was ready. After all, she’d just lost her business–and it was his fault. She had to grieve the loss of The Shop Around the Corner. Plus, at this point she was still seeing him as a bit of an enemy. He stayed friends with her while she worked through all of this. You might feel ready to get together, but if that’s not the case for the other person, it’s best to wait. And if you don’t want to wait, this isn’t the right person for you anyway.
Accept love from unlikely sources.Whether its from online or from your supposed rival, you can find love anywhere. It can be easy to have a fixed idea of where and how you want to fall in love. Maybe you dream of a chance meet-cute at a local coffee shop or you want to be set up by friends you trust. Cool, don’t stop trying for those perfect moments. But don’t close yourself off to other options as well. Who knows? You might find something epic.
Not sure what to binge right now? Look for your zodiac sign below to find a show tailored to your personality.Aries: The Sex Lives Of College GirlsThe Sex Lives of College Girls is fun, dramatic, and spicy—just like you! It follows four roommates who are working hard to discover who they are during their first year at an exclusive university, and while there are plenty of (hilariously) awkward moments along the way, there’s also a lot of heart. Definitely worth giving a try if you’re in the mood to laugh and fall in love with fictional characters who are just as passionate and messy as you can be. Watch The Sex Lives of College Girls on Max.
Taurus: Life & BethLife & Beth is both viciously funny and achingly relatable—a pretty good balance for you, Taurus. Amy Schumer’s humor is at its best here, contrasting perfectly with the quiet, devastating moments of grief and heartbreak. While you may not be the kind of person who talks about their trauma openly with everyone, you do know how it can shape the person you are all too well, making this little show relatable in a way that might actually feel therapeutic for you. Watch Life & Beth on Hulu.
Gemini: The AfterpartyThe Afterparty is a little bit of everything, just like you tend to be, well, just a little bit of everything. It’s a comedy, it’s a mystery, it’s a thriller, it’s a… musical? Literally everything! But above all, this show is fun, and it’ll likely hold your attention long enough that you might binge the whole thing in one go. Watch The Afterparty on Apple TV+.
Cancer: HeartstopperYou are such a soft, sensitive soul, Cancer, which is why Heartstopper is exactly what you need to watch right now. This show highlights some of the most beautiful things in life—love, friendship, acceptance, understanding, diversity—without shying away from the more painful aspects, such as trauma and prejudice. This show often feels like a warm hug, a cup of tea with a friend, a love letter from the one who holds your heart—so if your brain has sorely needed some serotonin, put this on your watch list ASAP. Watch Heartstopper on Netflix.
Leo: MinxYou’re a bold soul, Leo, which is why Minx is exactly the show you should be watching right now. Minx is all about finding your voice, standing up to anyone who tries to make you small, and fully embodying the bad bitch you know you can be—and also, it’s sexy as hell. This show is a great reminder to follow your passions and to never back down from the good fight—two very important lessons you should always, always remember. Watch Minx on Prime Video.
Virgo: PachinkoPachinko is both a history lesson and a love letter to anyone who has ever been oppressed, villainized, or outcasted. The storyline follows several generations of a Korean family during the Japanese occupation of Korea all the way up to the current day, often highlighting the way Koreans were mistreated in both big and small ways and the way that trauma was passed down from one descendent to the next. It doesn’t shy away from the painful and sometimes terrifying reality of what Koreans experienced, and you’ll appreciate the shows ability to pull at your heartstrings and change your overall perspective of history. Watch Pachinko on Apple TV+.
Libra: Abbott ElementaryAbbott Elementary is sweet, wholesome, and hilarious—but it also doesn’t shy away from the sometimes painful reality of life in America, much like you. The show follows the often overworked (but always passionate) staff at a low-income elementary school in Philadelphia, balancing their zany antics with their passion for their jobs and their resolution to give their students everything they deserve, even when there are very little resources at their disposal. You’ll laugh along with the characters while also smarting at the injustices they face—which is why you’ll absolutely love it. Watch Abbot Elementary on Hulu and Max.
Scorpio: The Girl From PlainvilleYou have a tendency to be misunderstood, Scorpio, which is probably while you’ll love The Girl from Plainville, which fictionalizes the real-life case of Michelle Carter, the teenager who encouraged her boyfriend to commit suicide in 2015. The show follows Michelle’s life closely, starting months before her boyfriend’s death and leading into the court case that put her in the country’s spotlight. If you’re into unlikeable characters and true crime, this is the show for you. Watch The Girl from Plainville on Hulu.
Sagittarius: Our Flag Means DeathHere’s the thing about Our Flag Means Death: It’s just so fun. This show is a very loose adaptation the true events surrounding some of the most notorious pirates in history, focusing more on the absurdities in their stories than anything else. Not only is it hilarious (seriously, prepare to laugh out loud), but it also has plenty of heart—there’s so much emphasis on camaraderie, connection, and finding love when you least expect it (and sometimes with whom you least expect it). All I’m saying is: Please binge this show immediately. Watch Our Flag Means Death on Max.
Capricorn: SeveranceSeverance is cool, sleek, and mind-blowing—all aspects you’ll appreciate, Capricorn. You’ll probably spend the first few episodes wondering what the hell is happening, but in the way where you feel like you need to keep watching because it’s just so compelling. It’s a little bit of mystery, a little bit of trauma plot, and a whole lot of thriller. Definitely check it out if you miss feeling totally engrossed in a TV show! Watch Severance on Apple TV+.
Aquarius: GhostsThis show is quirky, funny, and overall pretty feel-good—all things you can appreciate, Aquarius! This sitcom follows a woman who inherits a haunted house and, after she moves in, has a near-death experience that allows her to see and communicate with the ghosts of the house. It’s a cute, easy watch that doesn’t shy away from the reality of death and loss, and it will make you appreciate the beauty of a well-made sitcom. Watch Ghosts on Paramount+.
Pisces: BridgertonYou’re a proper romantic, which is why Bridgerton is the perfect fit for you. You have a tendency to look at the world through rose-colored glasses, which works well, since everything is just a little bit more beautiful in the Bridgerton world—not to mention it’s all just so aesthetically pleasing to watch! You’ll probably fall in love with half the characters (as you’re wont to do) and obsess over both seasons for weeks. Watch Bridgerton on Netflix.
Have you gone back to watch Seven (usually stylized as Se7en)? The 1995 horror thriller was a masterpiece of its time, and continues to give its fans nightmares nearly three decades later. Honestly, it’s aged so well it could have come out last year. But with time, some of our memories may be playing tricks on us. The most iconic scene of the movie has some fans scratching their heads on a rewatch. Spoilers ahead!
What’s in the Box?Se7en has a serial killer setting up his victims to match each of the seven deadly sins. Each kill is tailored to the sin. Gluttony was force-fed until his stomach burst, Sloth was tied to a bed for ages while he wasted away. Each scene is more gruesome than the next. Still, a veteran and a rookie detective, played by Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt, try their damnedest to solve the murders before the killer gets to his seventh victim.
They succeed, or at least they think they do. They manage to arrest the killer, John Doe, played by Kevin Spacey. (Wow, Kevin Spacey playing a bad guy? Who would have thought?) He just has one request: To be brought out into a seemingly empty field in the middle of nowhere.
New Line CinemaThis is where the movie’s most iconic scene occurs, one that’s been commonly quoted for decades now. As the cops and the killer wait in the field, a deliver van arrives with a box. Morgan Freeman goes to open it and is immediately upset. He tells Brad Pitt to toss his gun, to not look in the box. Stop listening to John Doe. I think we can all agree that Brad Pitt’s performance, screaming “What’s in the box?!” is masterful. Of course, John Doe has to tell him. It’s his wife’s head. And she’d been pregnant.
Se7en’s Mandela Effect: Did you see what’s in the box?A Mandela Effect is a shared incorrect memory. A load of people will misremember the same thing. A classic example is remembering the children’s book as Berenstein Bears rather than Berenstain Bears. Many people think this is proof of an alternate universe colliding with our own. After all, how could all of our memories be wrong? And so many fans are remembering Se7en’s box scene incorrectly. Check out these comments from redditors:
Did anyone else see Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in the box? I recall watching it in the theater and seeing Gwyneth Paltrow’s face for half a second. False memory? Or did you see it too? u/JamesRenner
I saw it. I wanted that two hours of misery at the theater erased from my memory afterward. No dice. I try never to think of “7”, but her head was in the box. I saw the right side of her face in the box. Her face was aimed toward the right side of the screen (from the viewer’s perspective), and it was angled downward slightly. u/alanwescoat
That is what I remember. I remember her eyes were closed and I would have nightmares that she opened them. u/dotchianni
These people aren’t alone. When I saw this discussion, I realized I remembered the same thing. I thought we got a quick shot of what’s inside the box. It was just a brief moment of Gwyneth Paltrow’s head. So I decided to go back and check.
Yep, we’re wrong.
We never see inside the box. And neither does Brad Pitt.New Line CinemaOn a rewatch of the scene, it turns out that Morgan Freeman is the only one who sees the contents of the box. He opens it and reacts. The extreme reaction sends him running for Brad Pitt and John Doe, yelling for him to put his gun down. That’s when John Doe explains what’s inside.
After much yelling of “What’s in the box?!” Brad Pitt shoots John Doe. He never actually peers inside either.
There are two very good reason why we all believe we saw the contents. Firstly, the extremely well-done acting and gruesome dialog by John Doe certainly conjures up a detailed image of what’s inside, if only in our minds. Second, Gwyneth Paltrow’s face does flash on the screen, but only for a frame or two. Right before he fires the shot, we see her picture. But it’s not the head in the box, it’s a still of smiling Gwyneth from earlier in the movie. No blood or gore, just a happy wife talking to her especially handsome husband.
Is this a glitch in the Matrix? Proof of the Mandela Effect, a collision of an alternate universe? Decide for yourself.
Few movie franchises personify the post-apocalyptic wasteland to the same extent as Mad Max. Creating the prototypical dystopian landscape with his original Mad Max trilogy, director George Miller set the gold standard for the entire post-apocalyptic genre through his work on the series, influencing countless movies, video games, and comic books that followed (including Fallout, Borderlands, and Waterworld, among many others).
While there’s no denying Mad Max’s endearing legacy on the trajectory of the science fiction or action genre, it’s also worth pointing out how singularly great each installment of the Mad Max franchise is in and of itself. With the latest addition to the Mad Max series, Furiosa, recently arriving in theaters, we thought we’d take a look back at some of the absolute best moments in the Mad Max saga thus far, ranking them from worst to best.
“Just Walk Away”Roadshow FilmsA villain’s introduction sets the tone for their entire role in the film, be it someone as chilling as Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs or laugh-out-loud hilarious as Captain Hook in Peter Pan. When it comes to Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, then, there’s no question that the Lord Humungus and his sinister band of raiders make quite the first impression upon their debut. Terrorizing the hapless oil reserve settlers with an equal number of threats and empty promises of mercy, viewers are instantly able to recognize a formidable threat the moment Humungus picks up his microphone and begins to speak.
Max Meets the Last of the V8sIndiana Jones has his whip, Luke Skywalker his lightsaber–Max Rockatansky, on the other hand, has his trusty V8 Pursuit Special. A supercharged GT Falcon offered to Max as an incentive to remain on the Mobile Police Force, it’s impossible not to get goosebumps seeing the M.P.F.’s mechanic unveil the car, all the while listening to the mighty roar of its 600 horsepower engine. A gearhead’s ultimate fantasy, it’s also that rare scene that appeals to people completely unfamiliar with car terminology.
Max Chases the ToecutterHaving spent the first two acts of Mad Max methodically destroying Max’s life, the tables turned against the charismatic Toecutter in the last chapter of Mad Max. With his merciless biker gang in shambles and a vengeful Max hot on his trail, audiences waited with baited breath to see whether Max might finally get his hands on the Toecutter, or whether the murderous biker might successfully get away. Fortunately, as with every irredeemable psychopath in the Mad Max series, Max made sure that the Toecutter received his just desserts, sending the deranged maniac head-first into an oncoming 18-wheeler (to the utter jubilation of the audience watching at home).
Max’s IntroductionJust as a villain’s introduction has the potential to make or break their character, a hero’s initial debut makes all the difference when it comes to capturing audiences’ attention. Case in point with Max’s initial on-screen appearance in the original Mad Max. Calmly listening in on an intense police chase between the M.P.F. and the unhinged Nightrider before joining in on the pursuit, viewers are told everything they need to know about Max before they even see his face.
Furiosa vs. Max and NuxThere’s no shortage of exquisitely shot action sequences in Mad Max: Fury Road, but one of the best has to be the pulse-pounding brawl between Furiosa, Max, and a borderline unconscious Nux. Though chained to his War Boy captor, Max still manages to hold his own against his more-than-capable opponent in Furiosa, countering Furiosa’s relentless offense with his signature brute strength. Tense, stylish, and memorably inventive, it’s the perfect way to have two characters as tough and resourceful as Max and Furiosa meet in a face-to-face encounter.
Furiosa and Max vs. The Bullet FarmerHaving reluctantly set aside their differences for the sake of mutually assured survival, Max and Furiosa quickly become a force to be reckoned with halfway through Mad Max: Fury Road. As evidence of their instantaneous chemistry, viewers don’t have to look any further than the duo’s desert battle against the rampaging Bullet Farmer. Bogged down in the middle of fog-shrouded marshes and struggling to free their rig, Max and Furiosa do their best to pick off the looming Bullet Farmer from a distance. With classical opera blaring in the background and the Bullet Farmer proclaiming himself “the Conductor of the Choir of Death,” few post-apocalyptic action sequences get as downright metal as this scene.
The Famous Thunderdome FightRoadhouse FilmsThe epitome of the Mad Max series, the titular Thunderdome fight of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome illustrates the sheer creativity behind George Miller’s dystopian franchise. Abandoning any pretext in reality and opting for a more bizarre portrayal of post-apocalyptic society, Max’s battle against Blaster inside the Thunderdome unfolds like a grizzled combination of Medieval Times and Cirque du Soleil. Traipsing around the steel enclosure and wielding all kinds of barbaric weapons against one another, it’s impossible to overstate how refreshingly unique the entire Thunderdome sequence is within the third installment of the Mad Max series.
Psychological thrillers are filled with diversity. These captivating, mesmerizing, and enthralling films keep us on the edge of our seats, waiting to see what happens next. In some psychological thrillers, we see the disturbing undercurrent of seemingly happy relationships that are anything but exposed in their toxic dynamics, opening up avenues for suspense and mystery as viewers wait with bated breath to learn the secrets of pathological characters with dark personality traits and their victims. Some thrillers contain elements of the supernatural or advanced technology, showcasing inventions or even spirits that affect the human psyche in terrifying ways, while others capture the attention of viewers in seemingly ordinary circumstances with continuous plot twists that play mind games with audiences. Whatever your favorite brand of psychological thriller is, this list covers them all and you are sure to find one that suits your unique needs. Here are the twenty best psychological thriller movies throughout film history that will keep you on your toes, and where to watch them.
InceptionWhat if you could enter people’s dreams and uncover the secrets of their subconscious? In Inception, infiltrating other people’s minds becomes a form of corporate espionage as characters Cobb (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) and Arthur use “dream-sharing” technology to extract information from their targets. Apart from the beautifully masterful “world-building” scenes in the film to depict the process of dream infiltration, DiCaprio’s character Cobb is dealing with a past trauma locked in his own subconscious that “leaks out” throughout the film, allowing viewers to only piece together the horrifying truth at the end. This is what makes it such a suspenseful psychological thriller as well as a cinematic masterpiece, penetrating the depths of the human psyche. Inception is available to watch on Amazon Prime.
The InvitationIn a slow-burn psychological thriller for the ages, The Invitation (2015) is one of the most subtly gripping psychological thriller movies in film history. Will and his wife Kira are invited by his ex-wife to a dinner party. But what seems like a casual dinner party gradually escalates into a living nightmare as he and his wife are thrust into the creepy, cult-like antics of the dinner guests, and tension builds in chilling ways. The Invitation will make you question what you’re seeing on screen until the very end. The Invitation is available to watch on Amazon Prime.
Invisible ManPart science fiction horror film and part psychological thriller, Invisible Man is a disturbing movie about a woman who is stalked by her abusive ex-boyfriend. Elizabeth Moss plays Cecilia Kass, entangled in a relationship with optics engineer Adrian Griffith who manages a human-computer augmentation company and keeps her trapped in his high-security house. She escapes with the help of her sister, but when Adrian seemingly commits suicide, she suspects he’s not really dead and may still be tracking her every move using an invisible bodysuit he’s made, and Cecilia has to outsmart her abuser if she wants to survive. Invisible Man is available to watch on Amazon Prime.
SearchingDavid Kim, a father (played by John Cho) looks for his missing daughter, Margot, in a movie that primarily uses smartphones, computers, and social media as the primary mode of investigation. David discovers that Margot belongs to a streaming site known as YouCast and was friends with a mysterious young woman, Hannah, who lives in a different state – the only problem is, Hannah is just a persona and she is not truly the person behind the online mask, and those who are responsible for Margot’s disappearance may be closer to him than he thinks. Searching is one of the most suspenseful mystery psychological thrillers of all time, and to add to its uniqueness, it is a cyber-thriller that will grip you and leave you on the edge of your seat at every part of the film. Searching is available to watch on Hulu.
The DoubleWhat if there was another version of “you” that strolled into your life and made you question your entire existence? In the black comedy psychological thriller The Double, Jesse Eisenberg stars as Simon James, a meek employee who is often overlooked by his colleagues, and he experiences exactly that when a confident new co-worker, James Simon, is hired. However, there’s one problem: James Simon looks exactly like him. Whereas Simon is more withdrawn, however, James is respected and gains the attention of his colleagues and even the woman Simon has a crush on. As James tries to coach Simon to become more assertive, it remains unclear to viewers whether James is real – or if it’s all in Simon’s head. The Double is available to watch on Amazon Prime.
Black SwanIn another movie that seems to touch on the topic of creepy doppelgangers, Natalie Portman stars as New York City Ballet ballerina Nina Sayers in Black Swan, as she competes with her opponent, Lily (played by Mila Kunis), for the part of Odile in Swan Lake. Both look similar to one another, but Lily is more carefree and bold in contrast to Nina, and more fitting for the “black swan” role than Nina is. Throughout the film, Nina begins to experience seeming hallucinations that warp her sense of reality as she delves deeper into her distraught perfectionism and the pressure to perform. Black Swan is an Academy-Award nominated film that is both darkly provocative and meaningful. You can watch Black Swan on Hulu.
Shutter IslandTeddy Daniels (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) is a U.S. Marshall who is asked to go with his partner Chuck Aule, on a ferry boat to Shutter Island, so they can investigate the disappearance of a patient at Ashecliffe Hospital for the criminally insane, Rachel Solando, a mother imprisoned for drowning her three children. Teddy also wants to find the man who killed his wife while at the hospital, a man named Andrew Laeddis. The storyline is rich with twists and turns and is a true psychological thriller in every sense of the word. When I first watched Shutter Island in theaters, I am proud to say I figured out the plot twist near the beginning of the film. However, it’s still a very unsettling plot twist and one that is sure to enthrall viewers upon first watch. Shutter Island is available to watch on Pluto TV.
What Lies BeneathHarrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer star in What Lies Beneath, a supernatural thriller about toxic relationships that takes viewers on an eerie emotional rollercoaster and down to the depths of truth. Claire and her husband Norman discover what appears to be a ghost haunting their house – but this is a haunting that holds the power to expose darker secrets about Claire’s husband. In the film, one victim helps the other come to the truth about what lies beneath the surface through a series of unsettling paranormal events. This is a powerfully moving gesture – even if that help does come from beyond the grave. This movie is exquisitely crafted to creatively portray the subtle ways manipulation tactics like gaslighting can be used to pathologize victims of deception, distort their reality and keep the wool over their eyes. What Lies Beneath is available on Amazon Prime.
Silence of the LambsJodie Foster stars as Clarice Starling, a budding FBI agent in training, assigned to interview the infamous Hannibal Lecter, a former psychiatrist turned cannibal who may have insights into a serial killer known as “Buffalo Bill.” After Buffalo Bill abducts the daughter of a U.S. senator, information about his true identity to track his whereabouts are urgently needed, and Hannibal agrees to exchange clues about the serial killer in exchange for personal details about Clarice. This begins a hauntingly morbid yet memorable “partnership” that will be remembered throughout film history. Silence of the Lambs is available to watch on Amazon Prime.
Gone GirlIn Gone Girl, a wife goes missing and a husband comes under public scrutiny for her alleged murder. But is she really dead or was the victim the villain all along? Rosamund Pike delivers a chillingly stellar performance in Gone Girl, playing scorned wife Amy Dunne, as she crafts her own “whodunnit” to make her husband pay for his actions. The film makes viewers question what is real and what has been fabricated as it uncovers the horrifying truths about a toxic marriage between a psychopath and their victim, while still offering nuance and a much-needed commentary on gender roles in modern relationships. You can watch Gone Girl on Apple TV.
MementoIn Christopher Nolan’s Memento, a man named Leonard Shelby suffers from anterograde amnesia which causes him to be unable to retain recent memories as he solves the mystery of his wife’s murder using a series of Polaroids, tattoos, and his own notes to himself as he continually “forgets” the clues he uncovers. Memento is a neo-noir film with two different sequences: one is in black and white seemingly in chronological order while the scenes in color appear to be in reverse chronological order, which creatively suspends the viewer from coherently understanding what is occurring, mirroring the protagonist’s own loss of memory and his attempts to put together a narrative of the events that occurred. Memento will make you become deeply immersed in a “whodunnit” mystery that messes with your mind. You can watch Memento on Amazon Prime.
IntrusionIn Intrusion, therapist Meera and her architect husband Henry Parsons seem to have a happy life. But when they buy a new dream home and experience a dangerous home invasion, it’s clear not all is what it seems. Meera begins to experience strange events that make her question her perception of reality and the motives and character of her own husband. If you like movies about charming predators being exposed in a slow-burn psychological thriller where both you and the main character feel like you’re going mad, this one’s for you. This movie validates the experience of gaslighting and gives viewers a shocking and unexpected plot twist they could not have foreseen. You can view Intrusion on Netflix.
Get OutIn the horror psychological thriller film Get Out, photographer Chris Washington travels to upstate New York to meet his girlfriend Rose’s wealthy white family. However, during his time there, he experiences bizarre racist comments and is pushed to experience hypnosis to uncover subconscious traumas. He starts to notice that another man at the annual family get-together, Logan King, seems oddly familiar. Strangely terrifying events begin to transpire, and viewers become both horrified and entranced by the twisted ways the Armitage family hold on to their “legacy.” You can stream Get Out on Peacock.
The Sixth SenseWritten and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, The Sixth Sense is a classic riveting psychological thriller that never gets old, no matter how many times you watch it. It’s just that perfectly executed. Child psychologist Malcolm Crowe (played by Bruce Willis) is treating young patient Cole Sear (played by Haley Joel Osment) who claims to have the supernatural gift of hearing and seeing dead people. As Malcolm navigates Cole’s unique gift and uses it to help other “ghost” children like Kyra Collins, he discovers chilling truths about his own personal life that culminate in one of the biggest plot twists in movie history. The Sixth Sense is available on Amazon Prime.
The Girl on the TrainEmily Blunt plays Rachel Watson in The Girl on the Train, a recently divorced woman who spends her days drinking and riding the train. During her train rides, she begins noticing and tracking the life of a seemingly happy couple, living next door to her own ex-husband and his new wife. One day, she witnesses something startling in this seemingly ideal relationship, and becomes entangled in a homicide investigation that unravels her life and the truth about what really happened in her marriage. The Girl on The Train is a terrific psychological thriller about gaslighting that covers many of the key elements of underhanded manipulation and coercion. The Girl on the Train is available for streaming on Amazon Prime.
FearFear is a classic psychological thriller about 16-year-old Nicole (played by Reese Witherspoon) who becomes ensnared in the manipulation of a narcissistic psychopath named David (played by Mark Wahlberg) who love bombs her into a romantic relationship. As her family tries to protect her from David, Nicole becomes more enmeshed with David, who develops a fixated obsession on Nicole even after she ends the relationship after witnessing David’s increasingly violent behavior. The movie escalates into a fight for survival as David and his friends plot revenge and stage a home invasion to retaliate against Nicole and her family. Fear demonstrates how psychopathic predators infiltrates the lives of their victims while isolating them from their loved ones. It highlights the consequences of getting involved with a manipulator who eventually takes over your entire life. Fear is available to watch on Netflix and Amazon Prime.
The Weekend AwayIn The Weekend Away, two best friends, Beth and Kate, go for a vacation in Croatia, only for her friend Kate to go missing. As Beth (played by Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester) investigates her best friend’s disappearance, she comes across many different versions of events and struggles to identify what is real and what isn’t – and what really happened that night, as begins to question the people she loves and trusts the most as well as the strangers that offer her help. The movie twists and turns the mind of the viewer as it makes it seem as if we have the full story – only to uncover even more horrifying revelations. The Weekend Away is perfect for anyone who’s ever had a toxic, narcissistic friend (or romantic partner) and anyone who just enjoys a suspenseful thriller with many plot twists. You can watch The Weekend Away on Netflix.
Berlin SyndromeIn Berlin Syndrome, tourist Clare and Andi have a one-night stand, and what appears to be an enjoyably steamy night turns into her worst nightmare when she realizes Andi has locked her in his highly secured apartment – with no way out. Berlin Syndrome is a very unsettling thriller that explores what occurs when you trust the wrong person, and the resourcefulness required to escape a malignant narcissist who is invested in controlling your every move. Watch Berlin Syndrome on Netflix.
The Woman In The WindowA psychologist (played by Amy Adams) is plagued by agoraphobia (a fear of going outside) so she confines herself to her Manhattan brownstone. Recently separated from her husband, spends her time observing her neighbors through her window. Anna is quite isolated, and tends to drink heavily with her medications, which paints her as a potentially unreliable narrator to viewers. She starts a friendship with Jane Russell and her son, Ethan who visit her, and one evening, Anna witnesses Jane being seemingly murdered through her windows. However, when she contacts the police, no one believes her, and viewers are held in a suspenseful grip while Anna begins doubting her own reality and what she saw. You can watch The Woman in the Window on Netflix.
Where the Crawdads SingIf you’re looking for a movie that’s part mystery drama and part slow-paced thriller, Where the Crawdads Sing is a beautiful masterpiece that does a remarkable job of showcasing the resilience and resourcefulness of those left to fend for themselves in the midst of exploitative communities, yet it also gently plays with the mind of the viewer in that the audience doesn’t get the full story of what occurred until the film’s final scenes. The main character Kya (played by Daisy Edgar-Jones), is abandoned by her abusive father and her family to raise herself alone in the marshes of North Carolina. Labeled and scapegoated by the toxic community as “Marsh Girl,” Kya is isolated and becomes easy prey to predatory manipulators. After her lover, Tate Walker teaches her how to read and write and then abandons her, Kya becomes involved in a romance with quarterback Chase Andrews. Chase is a manipulator and player who charms Kya into sleeping with him by promising her marriage, and Kya discovers he’s already engaged to another young woman. When Kya tries to flee the relationship however, Chase destroys her home and tries to assault her, retaliating as narcissistic people tend to do when they lose control. Days later, Chase is found dead and Kya is accused of murder – but no one actually knows if she did it, and neither does the viewer throughout the film. The ending has a twist that leaves viewers captivated right up to the movie’s conclusion. Where the Crawdads Sing is available to watch on Hulu.
As your resident rom com-lover, there’s a whole host of movies out there that are good for a watch but that might not exactly be binge-worthy. I’m looking at you, When Harry Met Sally. Then there are the romantic comedies that I can’t help watching over and over and over. No matter my mood, I’m always down to watch these 10 rom coms. Best of all, they’re all streaming for you to watch right now. Have you seen everything on this list?
The DUFF (2015)LionsgateI could say that it’s Mae Whitman’s acting or the interesting “Designated Ugly Fat Friend” plot that makes me love The DUFF so much, but that would be a lie. It has absolutely everything to do with Robbie Amell and the under-used friends-to-lovers boy-next-door romance tropes. The love is so damn convincing in this teen rom-com, and I need more storylines like this one. Watch The DUFF on Paramount+ with the Showtime add-on.
Love Actually (2003)Universal PicturesI once heard someone call Love Actually “unrealistic.” That’s bonkers to me. I’d understand that adjective if this was a fairytale romance like Enchanted, but this ensemble rom com features loves ending just as often as they begin. I mean, Emma Thompson crying while listening to Joni Mitchell? That’s no fairytale, and it’s heartbreakingly realistic. Watch Love Actually on Amazon Video.
The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesThere’s Jude Law putting on his glasses when he can’t find his contacts. There’s Jack Black’s “accidental boob graze.” And of course there’s Eli Wallach stealing the goddamn show as old Hollywood screenwriter Arthur. So are you a Kate Winslet or a Cameron Diaz? I think a dozen watches will let you know for sure which one. (I’m a Kate by a mile.) Watch The Holiday on Netflix.
You’ve Got Mail (1998)Warner Bros.The technology in You’ve Got Mail is so outdated, it’s adorable. Also adorable is the original manic pixie dream girl, Meg Ryan. While the Tom Hanks’ long con in the latter half of the movie is pretty suspect by today’s standards, this is still an annual must-watch for me. I mean, it’s all about optimism and books and pen-pal love. How can you go wrong? Watch You’ve Got Mail on Netflix.
27 Dresses (2008)20th Century FoxThis is probably the most “rom com” movie on this list. It hits all the plot beats of your standard romantic comedy, but it has a few things that tip it into “watch all the time” territory for me. “Bennie and the Jets.” Katherine Heigl’s outfits (not the bridesmaids dresses, though). And, of course, James Marsden. I really need to find my own James Marsden IRL. Anyone want to audition for the role Watch 27 Dresses on Disney+ and Peacock.
Stardust (2007)Paramount PicturesThis is one of those rom coms that seem to appeal to everyone. Despite its status as a fantasy based on a Neil Gaiman novel, it seems to be universally loved. Ask any guy–and I mean any–and they’ll freely admit they love it. And if they haven’t watched it yet, pop it on and watch them fall in love with Claire Danes or Charlie Cox or Robert de Niro as a crossdressing sky pirate. Watch Stardust on Paramount+ with the Showtime add-on.
Plus One (2019)RLJE FilmsHere’s another friends-to-lovers for the list. In this, two friends make a pact to be each others’ plus ones for a season of way too many weddings. It’s the newest movie on this list, mostly because there haven’t been nearly as many rom coms coming out these days, let alone great ones like this. The performances from Jack Quaid and Maya Erskine make this an instant classic. Watch Plus One on Netflix and Hulu.
The Giant Mechanical Man (2012)I’m happy to introduce you to this absolute gem you’ve probably never heard of. The title makes it sound like some futuristic sci-fi movie, but it’s far from it. It’s just about two regular people, each struggling to find themselves, falling in love while working in a zoo. It feels so realistic and cute, and the end is absolutely everything. Watch The Giant Mechanical Man on Prime Video, Peacock, and FreeVee.
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)Buena Vista PicturesFrances finds herself spiraling after a surprising and heartbreaking divorce. When her friend gifts her a tour trip through Italy, she goes just to humor her. Little does she know, she’ll find a rundown Tuscan villa that will change her life completely. While romantic love is an afterthought in this, you’ll watch it again and again for the love she finds for herself. Watch Under the Tuscan Sun on Hulu.
What’s Your Number (2011)20th Century FoxAlly doesn’t want to raise her body count so she enlists the help of her annoying (and annoyingly hot) neighbor to find all the guys she’s already slept with to see if she can rekindle a long-dead spark. There’s something so comforting about the friends-t0-lovers romance arc in this criminally under-watched rom com starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans. Watch What’s Your Number on Hulu and Paramount+.
With over 60 years of episodes, Doctor Who has had a wide range of creative villains. These are our favorites.
If the basis for a memorable hero revolves around the strength of their villains, then it’s safe to say that the Doctor of Doctor Who has that requirement covered. Battling numerous alien threats in their travels across time and space, the Doctor has come up against some of the most infamous extraterrestrial villains in all of science fiction, many of whom have gone on to earn a distinguished place in pop culture fandom. From mutated, genocidal cyborgs to alien assassins masquerading as ordinary statues, these villains have cropped up time and time again in Doctor Who, terrorizing the Doctor and his various companions from one decade to the next.
DaleksBBC OneFew villains are as closely tied to the Doctor as their mortal enemy, the Daleks. One of the Doctor’s oldest foes in both canonical and production history, the Daleks have proved a continuous thorn in the Doctor’s side since 1963. Known for their genocidal hatred of non-Dalek lifeforms and their shrill battle cry of “Exterminate,” these evil R2-D2 lookalikes may appear harmless on the surface, yet they’re anything but. Harboring an unwavering desire to rebuild the universe according to their twisted image, the Daleks’ ultimate goal for galaxy-wide conquest easily makes them the most frightening antagonist in Doctor Who (as well as one of the most persistent).
The MasterBBC OneEvery great hero has their polar opposite. For Superman, it’s Bizarro. For Flash, it’s Reverse-Flash. For the Doctor, it’s the scheming, power-hungry sociopathic Time Lord, the Master. An intellectual genius constantly plotting their way towards positions of power, the Master strives to obtain total supremacy over the universe, allowing him to dominate every life-form he views as inferior (which narrows it down to everyone). Once childhood best friends with the Doctor on their home world of Gallifrey, the Master’s personal relationship to this fellow Time Lord establishes him a fascinating counterpart to Doctor Who’s well-meaning protagonist, making every one of their reunions that much more meaningful and dramatic to watch.
CybermenBBC OneIn many ways, viewers can almost describe the Cybermen as the Doctor Who equivalent to the Borg. Like their later Star Trek counterparts, the Cybermen are genetically mutated cyborgs whose main mission is to transform every other humanoid creature into unthinking, unfeeling robotic monstrosities. Like their fellow Whovian enemies the Daleks, Cybermen possess little to any emotional bearing, going about their duties with machine-like precision and remorseless efficiency. Whether originating from Earth’s “twin planet” Mondas or an alternative version of the planet, every iteration of the Cybermen have displayed the same deadly desire to add even more unfortunate souls to their growing army–putting the species one step closer to total mechanical perfection.
Weeping AngelsBBC OneIf you ever happened to find yourself standing opposite a Weeping Angel, the last thing you should ever consider doing is looking away. Once known as “the Lonely Assassins,” at first glance, the Weeping Angels appear as simple stone statues that bear a basic resemblance to angelic creatures. Once you take your eyes off of them, though, the Angels are free to move about, converting themselves into speedy alien mercenaries who sap their victims’ energy, hurling them backwards in time. With their jagged fingers, crooked hangs, and stoney gaze, the Weeping Angels almost certainly rank among the most terrifying antagonists the Doctor has ever come up against in Doctor Who, haunting viewers to the very core every time they pop up on-screen.
DavrosBBC OneEvery heinous creation can be traced back to a single individual, whether discussing the nuclear bomb, holiday fruit cake, or the genocidal Daleks of Skaro. When it comes to the latter, the grand architect of the murderous alien cyborgs can be found in the form of Davros. A megalomaniacal Skaro scientist responsible who deliberately mutated his own species (the Kaleds) into the genetically advanced Daleks, Davros’ delusional attempts to conquer the universe rivals the Master’s own self-serving ambitions. As brilliant as he is mentally unhinged, Davros’ unsettling appearance alone is enough to send chills down even the most strong-stomached Doctor Who fans.
The SilenceBBC OneLike their fellow NuWhu antagonists the Weeping Angels, the Silence rely almost entirely on physical perception for their main offensive weapon in Doctor Who. Menacing characters with their unsettling physical features, once an individual takes their eyes off of the Silence, they immediately forget they ever saw them in the first place. Influencing humanity for thousands of years by whispering suggestions into world leaders’ ears, the Silence make for a more unique Doctor Who antagonist in that their end goal is ultimately benevolent in nature.
As the Doctor is destined to one day answer the age-old question (“Doctor who?) that could threaten the fabric of reality, the Silence have made it their mission to bring about the Doctor’s demise–thereby preventing the universe from collapsing in on itself. As helpful as that goal might be, the Silence’s religious fanaticism and the lengths they’ll go to thwart the Doctor makes them a species viewers shouldn’t ever underestimate.
If you haven’t seen Babes, then what did you even do last weekend? Performed brain surgery? Testified in the trial of Donald J. Trump? Because even those excuses are barely cutting it.
And what is Babes, you ask, sending my jaw to the floor? Why, it’s the uproarious buddy comedy starring Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau that premiered May 17 to stellar reviews, of course! Specifically, the movie follows Eden (Glazer) as she becomes pregnant after a one-night stand and decides to have the baby, spawning hijinks galore. It’s a refreshing take on motherhood, aging millennialism, and ride-or-die friendships.
It also follows a long line of pregnancy-themed genre flicks – some of them rom-coms, some of them Mother! starring Jennifer Lawrence – that are all worth seeing. Well, maybe not all of them. We would never trash someone’s artistic output or passion project here at Thought Catalog. So, here are seven movies about pregnancy that are not Mother! starring Jennifer Lawrence.
Knocked Up (2007)Universal Pictures“He’s playing fetch with my kids. He’s treating my kids like they’re dogs.” What line better sums up the immaturity of Seth Rogen’s Ben Stone in this movie? Even his last name evokes his favorite medicinal recreational activity – the very activity that causes Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) to have second thoughts about raising his child.
But it’s the movie’s sweet romance and supporting characters (all Judd Apatow regulars) that make this movie sing. Though Allison and Ben had never planned their parenthood, they ultimately become a model couple. Also, who can forget the hyper-realistic shot of the baby coming out? Or the fateful Cirque du Soleil trip? Or the officious voice of Leslie Mann? Also, can we finally forgive Heigl for shading this movie? She was literally crucified for having an opinion.
Baby Mama (2008)Universal PicturesJury’s out on whether this movie’s actual script is funny, but if you’re a Poehler and/or Fey stan, then this movie is for you. Running on chemistry and talent alone, the two improvise their way through this formulaic story, mining comedy gold en route. As Kate Holbrook, a workaholic who decides to have a baby via a chaotic surrogate (Poehler), Fey does her usual shtick to perfection. There’s even an absurdly amusing moment featuring Sigourney Weaver, of all people!
Juno (2008)Fox SearchlightIs it just coincidence that so many comedies about pregnancy came out in the mid-to-late aughts? Or did Gen X screenwriters all get pregnant at the same time? Whatever the reason behind the Great On-Screen Baby Boom of 2004-2008, it simply wouldn’t be complete without Juno. Like, how many movies do you know that could include the line, “That ain’t no etch-a-sketch; this is one doodle that can’t be un-did, homeskillet” with a straight face? Though twee by modern standards, Juno is still a moving, endearing, delightfully eccentric coming-of-age tale. Plus, it stars Elliott Page in their cinematic breakthrough as the pregnant Juno MacGuff. Meanwhile, Jennifer Garner is magnificent as the woman who adopts her baby.
Saved! (2004)MGMIf you weren’t a closeted queer kid with a penchant for indie cult comedies in the mid-aughts, then you probably missed this movie. That said, you need to go back and find it! It’s like an early prototype of Easy A, complete with sanctimonious religious character who judges the pregnant main character. However, in this case, the religious character is played by Mandy Moore and not by Amanda Bynes, and the ostracized sexually awakened woman is Jena Malone and not Emma Stone. Both are hilarious, whereas the plot – quiet girl f&cks gay man to turn him straight, then accepts his queerness after becoming pregnant with his child – is the stuff that indie dreams are made of.
Children of Men (2006)Universal PicturesConsidering this thriller’s outstanding one-shot action sequences and close-ups of Clive Owen’s chiseled face, it’s easy to forget that the movie is about pregnancy. And yet, in the dystopian future of Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men, women can no longer get pregnant – and the world is on the verge of extinction. But one woman does get pregnant, setting off the movie’s plot. That said, Children of Men’s other prediction – that immigrants will be grimly barred from entering the United Kingdom – is already true. Thanks, Brexit!
Citizen Ruth (1996)Miramax FilmsHave you ever wondered what Laura Dern did between the years of 1993 and 2017? Well, she was in Alexander Payne’s directorial debut, for starters! In the dark satirical comedy Citizen Ruth, Dern plays a down-trodden paint-huffing mother of four who accidentally becomes pregnant with a fifth child, incidentally birthing a nationwide conversation about her right to get an abortion. The movie’s satire of the abortion debates of the ‘90s is mostly on the money, and quite ahead of its time. Dern, of course, is brilliant.
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)Paramount PicturesThis movie gets referenced so often that it’s almost impossible to watch it without knowing the ending. That said, the movie is still an exquisitely disturbing and atmospheric character study of a woman who may or may not be carrying the spawn of Satan. It’s also the U.S. debut of writer-director Roman Polanski, who, unlike Katherine Heigl, has not suffered enough for That Thing He Did Ugh. Oh, sorry…You were expecting me to end this list on a positive note? Uh, puppies and kittens!
The term “high-value” has undergone a makeover lately and is now being used to refer to high-quality, self-respecting and empowering behaviors and traits. When a high-value woman has emotional mastery, she has a certain level of control over her ability to harness her emotions productively into maintaining high standards, living an enriching life, and setting healthy boundaries in her relationships. Here are six things high-value women with emotional mastery never tolerate in dating or relationships. Disrespect. In response to disrespect, self-respecting women never overexplain their feelings. They take aligned actions to enforce their boundaries instead. These are not the women who are writing long paragraphs in their notes app, drafting a dissertation to send their dating or relationship partner how much they’ve hurt them, and outlining exactly how to fix it, begging and pleading for respect from a man. They know from experience that certain types of toxic men thrive on that kind of attention in the dating world, and they don’t have the time to explain to a grown adult how and why their actions are wrong or instruct them on how to come correctly, only for those men to learn from them and effectively cosplay maturity for the next woman. Instead, they walk away and detach before they become too invested in someone who cannot meet their needs. They express themselves primarily through their behavior and withdrawal of attention, rather than their words, and it speaks volumes.
Low effort. High-quality women don’t waste their emotional energy trying to change dating partners who don’t meet their standards.Energy is currency, and high-quality women know how to best harness that energy to benefit them. The time you spend ruminating over and chasing a dating partner is time you could be spending chasing your goals, dreams, your career, money, and better dating options. Women with emotional mastery know this on a deep level, which is why they’re not willing to spend massive amounts of energy on an unsuitable suitor. They are self-focused and grounded in what they know they deserve. If a man suggests a low-effort date they’re not into, they won’t engage with them further. If he tries to negotiate her standards or tell her she is too picky or high-maintenance, she knows there will be another man around the corner who won’t ever have her starving and malnourished begging for the bare minimum. If she wants to be “well-maintained,” she certainly can be, and she’s not willing to settle for toxicity in the meantime.
Being married just for the sake of being married or having children with the wrong man. They don’t settle for less just to say they settled down. High-quality women with emotional mastery don’t pursue marriage and children with just anyone just in order to say they’re married and a mother. They’re not desperate for commitment, because their strongest commitment and loyalty are to themselves. When a man knows you desperately crave something, he has ultimate power over you and can hold it over you. High-quality women genuinely aren’t impressed by the thought of marriage because they know that on average, it actually benefits men, not women. They know marriage and childrearing are serious business, and they take it very seriously. For them, being with the wrong man is a liability, not an automatic benefit, and they assess and vet their dating and relationship partners very carefully for compatibility when it comes to attraction, personality traits, financial stability, emotional stability, and emotional maturity. This is why these women tend to end up with great partners, or at the very least, do not settle for toxic ones, and live thriving lives.
Rewarding bad behavior. Self-respecting women with emotional mastery do not reward bad behavior with more attention or people-pleasing. They issue appropriate consequences and engage in “productive” revenge that lasts a lifetime by moving forward into success.There are certain types of toxic men that will expect you to reward their bad behavior with more attention or people-pleasing, because they’re accustomed to pick-me women who want to maintain relationships at any cost. The high-value woman with emotional mastery is different: she believes in consequences and holding people accountable through her actions. If she finds out a man has betrayed her in some way or is mistreating her, she will ghost him without a word rather than rewarding him with crying spells and “How could you?” drawn-out speeches. Again, negative attention is still attention. You’ll even spot this type of woman on vacation in another country with a much hotter man shortly after such an incident. This is the type of woman who quietly moves on to have the most massive glow-up of her life after a break-up, becoming the most successful, beautiful, richest, and most vibrant version of herself – she makes her exes weep, not the other way around. These are the types of women who are often underestimated because they don’t rage and pine for a man outwardly – they harness all that emotional energy into themselves and catapult themselves into a lifestyle their toxic exes couldn’t even afford. Now that is true emotional mastery, and high-quality women know that the best revenge is success.
Hot-and-cold behavior from a dating partner. High-value women know their intrinsic value and they value themselves above any potential dating partner, so they won’t be tolerating toxic shifts or mixed signals in a romantic dynamic.High-quality women understand their worth and treat themselves as important. They place themselves on the pedestal and engage in practices that embody that self-love and self-respect. They prioritize themselves and their self-care, their dreams, and their goals. This is revolutionary in a society that tells women on a daily basis that they were only worthy if they are in a relationship. As a result, high-quality women know everything they bring to the table and they are well aware of how their dating and relationship partners benefit from their presence. If a dating partner demeans them after a period of love-bombing them, they will not tolerate it. They treat themselves exceptionally well, so a partner who treats them any less than that only detracts from their life, and they have the emotional mastery to opt out of a toxic situation that has the potential to harm them once they identify the red flags.
They don’t accept the bare minimum just to get anything. They lead exciting and fulfilling lives, and a man is only a small part of that.High-quality women don’t center their dating partners just because of their potential. They assess people based on a cost-benefits analysis of their true nature. Does this dating partner bring value to their life, or do they create chaos, uncertainty, and more pain? Do they bring romance, excitement, fulfillment, emotional nourishment, or do they bring less than the bare minimum and expect you to grovel for more? If the latter, high-value women know they are worth far more than that and deserve better. They refuse to accept the bare minimum when they know they can get top-tier treatment from other dating options and even themselves, their friends, their peers, and family members. They lead enriching lives, pursue exciting dreams and careers, and have flourishing social networks that give them love and fulfillment in every facet of their existence. Having a high-quality partner on top of that is simply the cherry on top, and they’re not going to settle for anything less than a partner who adds to their life in beneficial ways.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga showcases a world of despair, but it also signals a powerful message about hope.
Post-apocalyptic worlds, such as the one found in Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, serve as a harsh warning to human beings about the hell that awaits us all unless we heed the warning and take action to prevent society’s collapse from happening. Quite often, these depressing tales break down characters to the point in which they would rather embrace the sweet touch of the grim reaper’s scythe than live another day struggling for survival. Alyla Browne and Anya Taylor-Joy’s Furiosa traverses this same sick kind of purgatory in the movie, but instead of making everyone pray for the vultures to descend, she provides a more inspirational message than any Hallmark movie ever could. (Beware: Spoilers ahead.)
Dementus shows Furiosa what she could becomeFuriosa watches her mother, Mary Jo Bassa (Charlee Fraser), die, gets traded as a child bride to Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), and suffers a disturbing incident with the human potato known as Rictus Erectus (Nathan Jones). All this happens before the halfway point of the movie, with even more heartache, treachery, and tragedy on the dusty horizon. The root of all her pain can be traced back to the maniacal warlord Dementus (Chris Hemsworth), however. If she had never met the violent leader of the Biker Horde, it’s unlikely she would have been in these predicaments or experienced the level of suffering that she does.
Warner Bros.Understandably, she seeks revenge against him, but when she gets the chance, the encounter provides a number of surprising revelations. While Furiosa was aware that Dementus had lost his family, she sees the rawest side of him yet. In their interaction, he explains how killing him would be more merciful than letting him live. He doesn’t fear death or vengeance. No matter what she wants to do to him, it’s evident that he’s already dead inside and his humanity left him a long time ago. Dementus paints a bleak future and how this cycle of never-ending agony only continues.
While there’s an element of truth in what Dementus says here, he fails to take accountability for his role in turning the Wasteland into Hell on Earth for everyone. Inadvertently, though, he shows Furiosa what can happen if she doesn’t find peace within. Revenge is a release – and she needs it here – but she also needs a reminder to find something more in life. A purpose.
No one is ever truly aloneDespite the overwhelming selfishness and me-first attitude of the people in Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, Furiosa finds strangers who demonstrate that there is still good in the world – and it can’t be extinguished. Case in point: The War Rig driver, Praetorian Jack (Tom Burke). After she saves him, he offers her the opportunity to train and learn from him, as he prepares her for her journey to return to her home, the Green Place.
Warner Bros.Jack harbors no ulterior motive besides helping her here. If he didn’t extend a hand, though, there’s no way Furiosa would have been in the position in which she is by the end of the film. Unfortunately, Jack meets a grisly death, but he leaves her with an important lesson: To pay it forward and help others if you can. And Furiosa does this by freeing Joe’s wives and escaping with them from the Citadel.
Similarly, a sneaky cameo from Max Rockatansky (Jacob Tomuri) acts as another excellent example of how assistance can come from unexpected places. After tearing off part of her arm to escape Dementus, Furiosa passes out from the loss of blood and pain in the desert. From afar, Max sees her writhing and collapsing, and it’s him that presumably drops her off near the Citadel. Not only is it a nice tribute to the franchise to give Max the briefest of cameos, but it also demonstrates how the spirit of human kindness remains alive in the Wasteland.
The seed of hopeBefore Mary dies, she hands a peach seed to her daughter and makes her promise that she will “plant the seed” and “protect the Green Place.” Throughout the film, Furiosa pulls out the seed, puts it in her mouth to hydrate it, and sees it as a reminder of her mother’s last wish. At the end of the film, she plants it in Dementus’ flesh and uses him to sprout a brand-new peach tree.
Metaphorically, there’s a lot to unpack here. First off, the seed serves as a physical symbol of Furiosa’s hope. For as long as she has it, there’s the chance that tomorrow could be better and a new start. At the same time, she still falters and doubts herself, often needing a reminder of her promise. This is illustrated by her taking out the seed, looking at it, then putting it in her mouth, which is a resounding metaphor for the hope she keeps alive and her will to succeed.
By planting the seed in Dementus, it’s another symbolic representation of spreading hope to others, as someone else can reap the fruits, too. In the case of Furiosa, she no longer needs the physical seed to remind her of hope. It already grew inside her and she’s ready to spread the most important message to the world: “We keep moving!”
Here’s a spoiler-filled look at the most memorable moments from the Survivor 46 season finale.
Last night’s season finale of Survivor 46 was just as wild as the entire season. Hands-down the most entertaining of the New Era, this season has been full of drama, blindsides, social gameplay, and huge firsts (4 people voted out in a row who had idols in their pockets!) So of course, the finale was just as entertaining. While the whole three-hour runtime is a must-watch for longtime fans and Survivor newbies alike, these are the memorable moments that deserve a second watch.
Maria lies to her “number one.”Rather than admit that she voted Charlie because he’s a good competitor, she reasons away her votes from the previous tribal council as her just following orders from the rest of the tribe. Of course, Charlie didn’t fall for that one bit.
Liz cheats for Kenzie.CBSIn probably the biggest and most game-changing move of the night, Liz decided to help Kenzie at the immunity challenge by going back through the course to grab Kenzie’s plank. It’s a move that clinched Kenzie’s win and ultimately voted out Maria. Will Survivor have rules about this in the future? Honestly, probably not since it made for great television.
Poor Ben has more night terrors.A theme for Ben this season has been his night terrors and the resulting comfort he’d get from Kenzie after waking up to a panic attack. Even after a good day where everything worked out, he’d still wake up in agony. Here’s hoping Survivor’s number one rocker is sleeping much better now that he’s off the island.
Ben wins the final immunity challenge like the rockstar he is.CBSThe most important immunity challenge goes to the one person who viewers would expect to fail. Ben, though absolutely loveable (I may or may not have a crush on him), hasn’t been the best at challenges this season. Still, he pulled off mad skills during the pachinko puzzle challenge, making zero mistakes and being a total boss. He deserves all the accolades for this monumental win.
The jury reacts to Liz being a threat in the end.CBSThe choice for fire goes to Ben, and he immediately decides that Liz has to go. His reasoning? She’d win if she got to the end. Of course, Liz agrees. Did you see the jury’s reaction to that revelation, though? Clearly Liz had no votes among those who’d been wiling away their days at Ponderosa. And Venus, always bringing the drama, had the best reaction of the night.
“I’ll love you tomorrow.”In the end, Ben chooses Kenzie and Liz to make fire and, a surprise to no one, Kenzie beats her. Continuing the post-vote lovefest that’s plagued tribal councils this season, Kenzie tells Liz how much she rocks. As Liz walks up to have her torch snuffed, Kenzie tells her she loves her, then Liz gives us this iconic line: “I’ll love you tomorrow.”
The jury does an amazing job at the final tribal council.Some final tribal councils are shit shows. Rather than focusing on the gameplay, bitter juries use this moment to vent how much they hate one or more of the contestants who made it all the way to the end. Luckily, this final tribal council was one of the best. Not only did the jury have some amazing questions, but all three players had well thought-out answers. Let this be a lesson to future seasons.
Kenzie’s answer to what she’ll do with the money is gold.Q asked the contestants what they plan to do with the million. Ben talked about honorable charities that help kids learn music. Charlie mentioned starting a family, helping his career, and donating to charity. Kenzie? Her answer was so real and honest. She wasn’t going to be sharing the win–after years of helping others, she was going to use this money for herself. And, as Q said after the vote, her answer was what got her the win.
Kenzie wins big.Speaking of which, Kenzie won! Never before has there been a trio at the end who were all so likeable and deserving. Although Kenzie wasn’t my first choice (I’m a Charlie stan since I love strategic gameplay), you can’t discount how great she was at the game. And, as the votes counted off one by one, we almost got a tie. If it wasn’t for a certain someone not sticking to her word, it would have been. Speaking of which…
Poor Charlie can barely hold himself together.CBSAfter the vote, we get the sitdown with the cast to go over what just happened. It’s revealed that Maria didn’t vote for Charlie. If she had–something she’d promised from early on–it would have been a tie. If you watch Charlie during this reveal, you can see that he’s heartbroken. I’m no expert, but it looks like he’s trying hard not to cry. Can you blame him? But when Jeff asks him how he feels, he takes a moment to compose himself, then gives the most eloquent and wonderful response we’ve ever seen from a runner-up. Still, Charlie’s reaction is just one of many New Era finale reactions that prove this new format needs to change. Runners-up don’t get time to grieve their loss before being thrust in front of the camera and made to make nice. It’s cruel. At least give them a day before the “reunion,” if not months like in the past. Charlie didn’t deserve that.
What did you think of the finale? Did your favorite win? If you want to rewatch all the best moments, you can catch the entire season on Paramount+.
A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy reveals the five phrases (and their variations) you should look out for if you suspect you may be dating a narcissist.“My ex was crazy.”When someone tells you their ex was crazy, hit pause. Your next question, even if just voiced mentally, should be, “What drove them there?” Although there are some rare exceptions, in many cases, if a dating partner tells you their ex was emotionally unstable, you have to wonder why they feel the need to disclose that at all, especially when you two are just getting to know one another. If it looks like a subtle smear campaign to discourage you from believing their ex when they inevitably try to warn you, it often is. Not only is “crazy” a pejorative and pathologizing term, it’s usually narcissistic people who create deliberate chaos in the lives of others who tend to weaponize such language against their victims after continually provoking them over the edge.
“I am not looking for any drama / Is this always going to be a problem with you?”If the person you’re dating goes out of their way to prematurely tell you they’re not looking for any drama, it’s often because they’re the ones causing it. They just don’t want to deal with the aftermath or accountability of their behavior – to them, taking responsibility for their harmful actions is considered “drama.” Similar to this phrase, if you bring up a small issue you noticed while dating them or give them constructive feedback and their response is a challenging, “Is this always going to be a problem with you?” painting you as the culprit for engaging in basic communication, you have yourself an expert gaslighter waiting to pull a fast one on you.
“You’re lucky to have gotten that.”If you are speaking about one of your accomplishments in passing and a dating partner tries to attribute your hard work and talents to simply “luck,” this can be a sign of malicious envy which has been linked to both narcissistic and psychopathic traits in research. Healthy relationships are founded on what is known as capitalization, the ability to celebrate each other’s wins. If they seem to center themselves when you’re sharing your passions, dreams, or career, they will go out of their way to sabotage you and hold you back later on.
“My ex is my best friend / I have a female best friend. Nobody is going to get in between us.”Narcissistic individuals enjoy surrounding themselves with many admirers and friends of the opposite sex they’re attracted to, and a wealth of research suggests that men tend to be more romantically interested in and attracted to their female friends than women are to their male friends. Studies also indicate that narcissists like provoking jealousy on purpose to gain power and control over you. If they seem to create a protective barrier around their close and shady so-called “friendships” that veer on inappropriate, it’s a way to safeguard their emotional cheating behaviors early on from healthy skepticism and scrutiny. Rather than settling for someone who sets up a competition before even properly courting you, detach from the situation and realize you can find a dating partner who genuinely respects you and your boundaries. Otherwise, you’ll begin a new relationship with someone who will always prioritize the feelings of another woman over you, and rest assured, you will be pitted against one another throughout the relationship.
“You always take things the wrong way / You’re too sensitive / It’s just a joke / I need someone who doesn’t take themselves seriously.”If a dating partner’s primary mode of comedy is demeaning you and telling you that you are overreacting, recognize they are using “just jokes” as a guise to get away with their bullying behaviors and derogatory jabs. If you find that your dating partner always makes brutal jokes at your expense, run. Any variation of the above phrases should be taken very seriously – as a red flag of a narcissistic person who believes in “cruel” forms of humor, chronic, bullying sarcasm (which has been linked to psychopathic traits), and a partner who is already revved up to gaslight you into accepting their emotional abuse by making you believe you are humorless or too sensitive.
In 2014, X-Men: Days of Future Past executed the time-travel and multiverse madness before any other comic book movie could–and showed how it’s an effective way to solve canonical problems.
On May 23, 2014, X-Men: Days of Future Past flexed its way into theaters. By the end of its theatrical run, it became the highest-grossing X-Men film (not named Deadpool), making $746 million worldwide from a budget of $200 million. But the numbers are the accounting department’s problem; what matters most is how the film connected with people, right? In terms of the media and fan reception, X-Men: Days of Future Past garnered a 90% critical approval rating and 91% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. Not bad, especially considering how this superhero film proved to be ahead of its time and paved the way for other comic book movies to address canonical loopholes and different versions of characters.
Addressing the Wolverine-shaped elephant in the roomAfter the one-two head slap of X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, there was no disputing the franchise needed revitalization and freshness. Yet, no one could have predicted the boldness of a full-on reboot like 2011’s X-Men: First Class, featuring an all-new cast and setting the action much earlier in the timeline. The critics and audiences responded positively to it, embracing the next generation of X-Men movies. However, the film didn’t do the business at the box office, becoming one of the lowest-grossing entries in the series by only making $352.6 million from a $160 million budget. So, what was the problem here? Simple: The lack of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, arguably the most popular X-Men character of them all.
While Logan makes a cameo in a memorable bar scene alongside James McAvoy’s Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender’s Erik Lehnsherr, it’s more of a nice surprise than a selling point of the film. Due to him not being front and center of the marketing campaigns, it’s plausible to believe he wouldn’t play any role in the movie. Consequently, his fanbase chose to catch this film on DVD instead.
20th Century FoxX-Men: Days of Future Past didn’t make the same mistake. It reinstated Jackman’s Wolverine as the lead of the film, even if it does go against the source material in the comics where Kitty Pryde is the time traveler and looked back to the past rather than the future of the franchise. One can’t argue the decision here, since the overwhelming success stands as validation. Also, thanks to Wolverine’s ageless quality – not due to his fabulous skincare routine but his healing factor – there was no need to retcon how he could look the same in the ’60s and in the modern era. At the end of the day, the series found a way to bring back its biggest star to usher in the next era and give the rub to the next group of X-Men actors, while leaving the door wide open for him to pop his claws in and out of the series as well.
Going back to the future to erase canonical loopholesBefore the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), filmmakers weren’t as obsessed with canon as they are now. People would make decisions in a movie that would be reversed later on, and no one gave a hoot–apart from the fans, that is. By the time X-Men: Days of Future Past hit theaters, the MCU was in full swing and showcasing the importance of having cohesiveness and sensible logic between its interconnected movies.
Naturally, the producers of the X-Men films took note (especially of the mega-money that Marvel Studios practically printed with every film) and must have bemoaned the decisions of the past, such as the choice to kill Cyclops and Jean Grey in X-Men: The Last Stand and the muddled timelines created by X-Men Origins: Wolverine. They had a get-out-of-jail-free card, though, and this came in the form of X-Men: Days of Future Past. By sending Wolverine into the past to change the course of events, it would have a butterfly effect on the rest of the timeline. Resultantly, this wiped the slate of everything that came before and allowed for a fresh start moving forward in the X-Universe. Whether 20th Century Fox actually capitalized on this or not is another topic altogether; however, there’s no doubt that Disney’s acquisition of Fox significantly impacted the future of the franchise and what could have been.
‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ inspired the multiversal madnessX-Men: Days of Future Past showed how multiple versions of characters can work on screen together, influencing other time-travel and multiverse-inspired superhero movies like Spider-Man: No Way Home and The Flash. The film operated both as fan service and closure, as it allowed for one last hurrah for a number of characters from the past and helped to pass the baton on to the next generation of actors to play the heroes and villains. At the same time, it also left a potential loophole open for the filmmakers to explore down the line. Let’s say the Disney-Fox acquisition never happened and Fox chose to revisit the original X-Men in the modern era – it could have happened, thanks to the events at the end of X-Men: Days of Future Past that left the 2000s X-Men alive in the future.
20th Century FoxSurprisingly, 10 years later, X-Men: Days of Future Past is also one of the few superhero time-travel or multiverse movies to make sense and please the audience. Apart from Spider-Man: No Way Home, every other attempt to combine the past and present has largely flopped on screen – most notably The Flash. All the Andy Muschietti-directed movie had to do is follow the template created by Days of Future Past and reset the DC Universe entirely (since everyone knew it was coming anyway), but it didn’t and turned into a nothing burger. This only confirms how special X-Men: Days of Future Past actually is, and what a remarkable feat it was for the cast and crew to pull it off. It also shows how easy it is to correct canonical mishaps if there’s a desire. Like Professor Xavier said, “Just because someone stumbles and loses their way doesn’t mean they are lost forever.”
Some lessons are timeless.There’s something so timelessly awesome about 13 Going on 30. Despite it coming out over 20 years ago, even new fans are loving Jennifer Garner’s Big-esque storyline. Maybe it’s the so-bad-it’s-good 80’s fashion sprinkled throughout. Perhaps it’s the idea of swapping bodies with your future self. Or it’s everyone’s Marvel crush Mark Ruffalo, pre-Hulk. Either way, when you re-watch this rom-com masterpiece, there are some life lessons you’ll want to keep long after the end credits roll.
Don’t forget who your real friends are.Mistake number one for Jenna Rink is her almost pathological insistence on spending time with the popular girls at her school, the self-named “Six Chicks.” These are not her friends, yet she invites them to her 13th birthday party. It doesn’t hurt that the Six Chicks are promising to bring Jenna’s crush. And she just pushes her real friend Matt away. How fun can a birthday party really be if it’s filled with people who don’t like you?
If someone does something big for you, they’re more than just a friend.Speaking of Matt, he really goes all out for Jenna’s birthday. He brings her this decked-out dollhouse and a packet of Wishing Dust to “make all her dreams come true.” Girl, no regular friend will do that. He’s at least a ride-or-die bestie, but more likely has a gigantic crush. This is the kind of clue you might be missing from the people around you right now.
Be careful what you wish for.I think we’ve all seen or read enough wishing stories to know that you essentially need an iron-clad contract if you’re going to be making any wishes. With Jenna’s “30, flirty, and thriving” wish, of course it didn’t turn out the way she wanted. Better to just make the life you want for yourself than relying on spooky wish magic.
When in doubt, do the “Thriller” dance.Sony PicturesEveryone loves Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Learn the dance so you can liven up a party like Jenna. It sounds silly, but it’ll probably work even if you’re not the main character of a rom-com.
A youthful attitude is welcome no matter the age.When Jenna’s 13-year-old self is transported into her 30-year-old body, everything in her new adult life gets shaken up. Everyone at work is loving her new youthful attitude. She’s making friends everywhere she goes. Sometimes we get caught up in “acting our age,” but who decides what that means? If you find yourself avoiding fun things like dancing in the rain or wearing colorful clothes just because this is what you do when you’re 30, take a page from Jenna Rink’s book. Smile, have fun, and be your youthful self no matter what year is printed on your driver’s license.
Once a mean girl, always a mean girl.Jenna is thrilled to find that she not only works with Lucy–head of the Six Chicks–but they’re also best friends. It seems like Lucy has changed and is no longer a mean girl. We learn in the end that’s not the case and she sabotages Jenna’s career. While people do change and grow as they get older, maybe you shouldn’t be putting your trust in the school bully.
It’s never too late to do the right thing.Unfortunately, Lucy’s mean girl attitude rubbed off on pre-wish adult Jenna. 13-year-old Jenna realizes that she’d stolen ideas from the magazine she works for and gave them to another mag. Luckily, Jenna comes clean and does what’s right. You can, too. It may seem like it’s too late, but it really isn’t.
If you missed your chance, accept it.It takes until nearly the end of the movie for Jenna to realize she loves childhood best friend-turned-hottie Matt. By then he’s moved on from her and is in a happy and committed relationship. Here’s where Jenna eventually does the right thing: She lets him go. No breaking up a couple, no trying to get him to cheat. She accepts that she missed her chance. You can, too.
If you get a second chance, make it right this time.But of course, Jenna was sent to the future with wish magic, so she’s given a second chance. As you can see by the ending, she goes for it with 1987 Matt and they end up together in the future. If you have a second chance, don’t waste it. This goes for love, work, family, anything. Savor those second chances.
Always choose Mark Ruffalo.Sony PicturesI mean, really.
Who doesn’t love a good mystery every now and again? Forcing audiences to pop on their thinking caps and pay close attention, mystery films have the ability to challenge casual viewers in a way few movie genres can. Presenting taut central mysteries, these movies have a way of defying preconceived expectations about where the narrative might be headed, swerving left just when you assumed the story was going right.
Whether through their enigmatic main plots or constant twists and turns, these mystery movies will leave viewers clutching the arms of their chair in disbelief, wondering what on earth is going to happen next.
MementoSummit EntertainmentA neo-noir movie told through branching narrative timelines, Memento may take a few viewings to fully understand–but it’s well worth the extra effort. One of the earliest breakthrough films for fledgling director Christopher Nolan, Memento focuses on an amnesia patient’s (Guy Pearce) investigation into the death of his wife. Alternating between past and present events, Nolan effortlessly manages to toss viewers into the often confusing perspective of Memento’s lead character, requiring audiences to pay close attention to decipher the movie’s overarching mysteries. Watch Memento on Peacock and FreeVee.
Gone Girl20th Century FoxTons of thriller movies feature a twist near the film’s last act, demolishing audiences’ expectations in terms of the story and characters. In contrast to most other movies in the genre, Gone Girl does the unthinkable, flipping the film’s unsettling script almost exactly around the halfway point. A tense and uncomfortable study about an average man (Ben Affleck) searching for his missing wife (Rosamund Pike), Gone Girl is guaranteed to leave your jaw hanging in more than a few places, lulling you into a false sense of security before veering into some wholly unexpected territory. Watch Gone Girl on Amazon Video.
Shutter IslandParamount PicturesPerhaps the closest Martin Scorsese will ever come to directing a full-blown horror movie, Shutter Island acts as a spine-tingling love letter to ‘50s horror comics and classic noir films of the same era. Thrusting an everyman detective (Leonardo DiCaprio) into a mental health facility for notorious criminals, Shutter Island only seems to grow more and more chaotic with each passing moment, posing just as many questions as it does answers. Watch Shutter Island on Amazon Video.
VertigoParamount PicturesYou can’t have a list of mystery movies without mentioning Alfred Hitchcock. Earning the moniker “The Master of Suspense” for a reason, almost all of Hitchcock’s thriller movies remain worth seeing–but there’s something to be said about his 1958 masterpiece, Vertigo. Working alongside his faithful collaborator Jimmy Stewart, Hitchcock captures an almost hallucinogenic atmosphere in this classic psychological thriller–one where the audience, like Stewart’s protagonist, never really knows what’s happening until the very end. Watch Vertigo on Prime Video.
ZodiacParamount PicturesNext to Alfred Hitchcock, director David Fincher has developed a well-earned reputation for his psychological thrillers and mystery movies, as seen from past releases like Gone Girl, Seven, The Game, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Along with this impressive lineup of films, Fincher has also earned praise for 2007’s Zodiac, an astonishing true crime thriller detailing the crimes and subsequent investigation of the Bay Area Zodiac Killer. Quite possibly Fincher’s finest movie, Zodiac also highlights the enigma surrounding its titular antagonist, as well as the obsessive efforts of police and local reporters trying to capture the infamous serial killer. Watch Zodiac on Amazon Video.
Mystic RiverWarner Bros.Far from a great actor alone, Clint Eastwood has also directed plenty of superb movies over the years, from the heartbreaking sports drama Million Dollar Baby to his genre-defining Western film, Unforgiven. With Mystic River, Eastwood manages to create a chilling study of a murder in a small town community, pitting three estranged childhood best friends (Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim Robbins) against one another. As tragic as it is engaging, Mystic River never fails to garner some resort of response from viewers (typically in the form of a hearty sob). Watch Mystic River on Amazon Video.
ClueParamount PicturesBased on everyone’s favorite family board game, Clue also takes the cake for the best board game adaptation ever put to film. A hilarious, occasionally dark murder mystery that almost seems like a spoof of an Agatha Christie novel, Clue combines a talented ensemble cast with a fast-paced script, never sparing a moment to deliver some kind of laugh-out-loud joke or fascinating new plot development. Watch Clue on Amazon Video.
When it comes to sci-fi, HBO reigns supreme. HBO’s addictive alternate worlds–like the fantasy realms of Game of Thrones and the vampire-filled bayous of True Blood–have become staples in pop culture. Acclaimed by critics and audiences alike, many of its sci-fi series have earned Golden Globes, Emmys, and other major awards for their outstanding production values, writing, and acting performances. From aliens and zombies to dragons and robots, here are 11 of HBO’s best sci-fi series.
True Blood (2008)HBOTrue Blood sank its fangs into HBO’s lineup in 2008 and didn’t let go for seven seasons. This series follows the adventures of telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse and her entanglement with vampires after synthetic blood allows the undead to “mainstream” with humans. Dripping with Louisiana flavor, steamy romances, and supernatural thrills, True Blood secured its status as one of HBO’s wildest and most unabashedly entertaining sci-fi series.
Game of Thrones (2011)HBOGame of Thrones may be HBO’s crowning sci-fi achievement. The epic tale of warring kingdoms and fire-breathing dragons went from a quiet fantasy series to a full-blown cultural phenomenon. The show, which was adapted from George R.R. Martin’s novels, hooked viewers with its moral ambiguity, shocking twists, and incredibly rich world-building. But it was the juicy palace intrigue between schemers like Cersei and Littlefinger that fed rabid fandom and Internet theorizing. With cinematic spectacle and complex meditations on power, Game of Thrones didn’t just entertain, it sparked ubiquitous watercooler buzz and unprecedented mainstream mania. A high mark in HBO’s prestigious sci-fi pedigree.
The Leftovers (2014)HBOHBO’s The Leftovers follows the aftermath of a global event where 2% of the world’s population vanishes without explanation. Blending science fiction and drama, the series delivers a haunting tale that questions existence itself. It’s a truly captivating journey that lingers long after the final credits roll.
Westworld (2016)HBOSet in a dystopian future ruled by AI and robots, Westworld is one of HBO’s most futuristic sci-fi dramas. The series follows the stories of disturbingly human-like robots who become self-aware after being used and abused by wealthy elites. With sophisticated plot twists and intertwined mysteries, the show explores the impacts of consciousness, free will, and the ethical implications of technological overreach.
His Dark Materials (2019)HBOHis Dark Materials is a sweeping sci-fi fantasy series based on Philip Pullman’s beloved literary trilogy. The HBO adaptation introduces us to the author’s parallel worlds and fantastical creatures. Through the eyes of the young Lyra Belacqual, the show takes us on an epic adventure fueled by her quest to find her best friend and uncover the truth about her parents.
Watchmen (2019)HBODamon Lindelof’s Watchmen takes us into an alternate-universe America reckoning with its historical racial divide. Following multiple storylines and timelines, the mini-series unpacks the mystery surrounding an array of superheroes, including the godlike Dr. Manhattan; the brilliant but morally ambiguous Ozymandias; the haunted crime fighter Looking Glass; and the fierce Sister Night leading the charge against a vast conspiracy.
The Outsider (2020)HBOFrom the macabre mind of Stephen King came The Outsider – a supernatural thriller that instantly grabbed viewers by the throat. On its surface, a harrowing investigation into an unthinkable crime. But this slow-burn mystery quickly turns into steadily mounting dread.
Raised By Wolves (2020) MaxRidley Scott and Aaron Guzikowski’s Raised by Wolves is a daring sci-fi series that grabs your attention from the start. It follows two humanoid robots, Mother and Father, tasked with raising human children on a planet called Kepler-22B after Earth is decimated by war. Eventually, other colonists arrive and threaten the androids’ directives. The show builds a stunning, complex world while diving deep into the impacts artificial intelligence and religion have on humanity.
Lovecraft CountryHBOHBO’s Lovecraft Country is set in the 1950s and tells the story of a war veteran who returns home to uncover deadly secrets connected to his father in a small, creepy segregated town. The show, which features monsters and other supernatural elements, is based on Matt Ruff’s 2016 novel–a story inspired by 20th-century science fiction writer, H.P. Lovecraft.
The Last of Us (2023)HBOYou know a video game adaptation has nailed it when even non-gamers get fully invested. That’s the magic HBO conjured with The Last of Us. In a world ravaged by a terrifying fungal pandemic that turns people into aggressive, mindless hosts, a survivor is hired to smuggle a teenage girl across a post-apocalyptic United States as she may hold the key to a cure. What starts as a straightforward job becomes a brutal journey forging an unlikely bond between the two, navigating vicious human survivors and the zombie-like infected.
House of the Dragon (2022)HBOGame of Thrones fans knew HBO would take them back into the world of Westeros. And with House of the Dragon, the network dives headfirst into the sordid history of the Targaryen civil war and follows the bloody battle over the Iron Throne’s line of succession. With juicy palace intrigue, intense dragon battles, and delightful Easter eggs and throwbacks, the series instantly draws you into its high-stakes family feud.
When it comes to love, emotional maturity matters a lot. In fact, research has even shown that emotional maturity plays a huge role in the quality and health of relationships because it helps couples navigate conflict resolution as well as creates security within a relationship. And because emotional maturity is so crucial for loving, secure partnerships, certain qualities, behaviors, and dynamics have no place in an emotionally mature relationship.
Here are 11 of those things that emotionally mature women don’t tolerate in a relationship.
1. A non-committal attitude.If an emotionally mature woman wants a committed relationship with you, she needs that commitment returned in full. She doesn’t play games and she definitely won’t wait for you to make up your mind about her; she moves on. She’d rather be single than settle for someone who is unsure about her.
2. Poor communication.Bad communication skills are the ultimate turnoff for the emotionally mature woman. She’s not interested in begging you to listen to her and she’s definitely not going to hold your hand while she explains to you why it’s disrespectful to interrupt, delay confirming plans, or avoid difficult but necessary conversations.
An emotionally mature wants to be with an adult who can meet her where she’s at, and this includes the ability to communicate openly, effectively, and directly.
3. Disrespect.Disrespect can appear in many forms from demeaning comments to passive-aggressive behavior to constantly showing up late. And because respect is the foundation of a healthy, lasting relationship, love simply cannot exist without respect. An emotionally mature woman understands this and will never accept disrespect from her partner.
4. The blame game.A key sign of emotional maturity is the ability to both admit to and take accountability for your mess-ups. A key sign of emotional immaturity, on the other hand, is refusing to ever say you got something wrong and pointing fingers at everyone and everything else but yourself.
An emotionally mature woman is bound to make mistakes too; she’s human after all. However, she needs to know you’re also willing to own up to your own mistakes. She doesn’t want perfection. She just wants to know you’re mature enough to want to improve and carry the responsibility of doing so.
5. Self-centeredness.An emotionally mature doesn’t expect everything to always be about her, nor does she expect everything to always be about you. However, she does need you to show up for her when it’s her turn.
Yes, an emotionally mature woman can handle her life, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want, need, and deserve support too. If every conversation revolves around you, if you tune her out when she’s expressing her feelings to you, if you constantly interrupt her and don’t engage with anything she’s saying, she’ll be over you quicker than you can ever believe.
6. Irresponsible behavior. If she has to constantly worry about you and clean up your messes, this not only makes her distrust you, it also makes her resent you. She’s there to support you, not enable you. Don’t get it twisted. Don’t make her mother you.
7. Possessiveness. While instances of jealousy are totally human and normal, constant bouts of jealous and possessive behavior are a huge red flag that an emotionally mature woman would never look past. She is her own person. Treat her like one.
8. No effort.Effort is a sign that you care. If she constantly has to pull the weight of the relationship and make all the effort, she’ll take this as a signal that you don’t value her and will go to find someone who actually does.
9. Dishonesty.Don’t lie. Don’t withhold pertinent information. Don’t cheat. It’s really as simple as that.
10. Inconsistency.Inconsistency does not create space for trust; it does the exact opposite because it undermines reliability. If she can’t count on you, she doesn’t trust you. If she doesn’t trust you, she can’t be totally open with you. And without openness and honesty, there’s no room for emotional closeness and love.
On that note…
11. Emotional unavailability. Finally, an emotionally mature woman understands that the foundation of love is a true emotional connection. Emotional intimacy cannot happen without each partner’s willing participation and openness. If you show signs of emotional unavailability, she isn’t going to try to break down your walls or convince you to open up. She’ll simply walk away.
In the ever-true words of Marie Kondo: “I love mess,” and these three teen shows deliver exactly that. All of these are honestly so beyond bad they actually are kind of addicting, so much so that you won’t be able to stop watching. (Warning: Spoilers ahead!)
- 7th Heaven7th Heaven | IMDb7th Heaven was an American family “drama” about the Camden family. I put drama in quotations because it was actually comedic gold.
7th Heaven intended to portray a close-knit family that overcame obstacles and still remained loyal and loving to one another despite it all. The Camdens were made up of Reverend Eric Camden (Stephen Collins), his wife Annie (Catherine Hicks), and their five children. There’s also the family dog Happy. Later on in the show, Annie has twins Sam and David, bringing the Camden kid count to seven.
As I said, 7th Heaven tried to bring the drama but it honestly just gave a lot of cringe. Matt, the oldest brother, was real obsessed with his younger sisters Lucy and Mary’s virginity, which, uh, weird. One time, one of the kids Simon joined a gang. Another time, Simon had a cup of coffee and developed a crippling caffeine addiction.
Each episode of 7th Heaven did its best to offer some kind of moral lesson but the overly wholesome nature of The Camdens made everything feel more like a parody than a parable. Anyway, 7th Heaven somehow ran 11 seasons total, spanning 243 episodes, with each episode offering predictable, cringeworthy storylines. It was great.
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The Secret Life Of The American TeenagerThe Secret Life Of The American Teenager | IMDbThe Secret Life Of The American Teenager starred Shailene Woodley as Amy Juergens, a 15-year-old high school student who becomes unexpectedly pregnant after one night at…band camp. Yeah. That’s basically all you need to know. The rest is as yikes as that!
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RiverdaleRiverdale | IMDbRiverdale may have completely lost the plot but it never lost my heart.
For seven gloriously weird and messy seasons, Riverdale told the stories and secrets of its residents in a way that made no sense whatsoever. Narrative? Who needs it! Cohesiveness? Please.
But the truly bizarre twists and turns of Riverdale are exactly what kept so many viewers hooked. As The Ringer put it in an article paying homage to the show’s impending series finale: “Riverdale’s penchant for “just doing whatever” alienated some fans in later seasons, but it also delighted others, and those who stuck with the show until the end reaped its strange rewards. No one—truly, no one—was doing it like Riverdale.”
In Riverdale we trust, amen.
Why watch all of Bridgerton Seasons 1 and 2 when you can just watch Colin and Penelope’s scenes?
Whether you’re new to Bridgerton and just care about season 3’s Colin and Penelope (ahem, me), or you’re fan of the show who just wants to brush up on this epic friends-to-lovers story arc, you’ve come to the right place. Why go back and watch 16 full hour-long episodes from seasons 1 and 2 just for bits and pieces of our favorite Polin ship when you can fast forward to all the best scenes?
Good news: I’ve compiled all of Colin and Penelope’s best bits from the previous seasons, all with timestamps, so you can go back and see their love blossom in real time. Power up Netflix, pop on episode one of the first season, and get ready for a crash course on everyone’s favorite little Regency Era cuties.
Bridgerton Season 1Episode 1: Diamond on the First WaterNetflix17:40 – Everyone that matters is at the Danbury Ball (decked out in a surprising about of jewels.) Watch as we get a first taste of some serious pining over Colin as Penelope watches him dance with another girl.
44:20 – We get a taste of Cressida mean girl-ing Penelope in a bid to impress Colin, but it backfires when he asks Pen for a dance instead. First dance! Ahh!
Episode 2: Shock and DelightWhile Colin and Penelope are in this episode, they don’t really have any interactions, so you’re probably better off skipping it.
Episode 3: Art of the SwoonSame with this one. While we get plenty of hints at Penelope’s secret identity, there aren’t any fun Polin moments. In fact, Colin doesn’t even have any lines. (If you’re here for the Lady Whistledown clues, though, this could be a good one.)
Episode 4: An Affair of Honor30:40 – Penelope and Colin have a cute little conversation at the Trowbridge Ball. Pen is totally at-ease and even elicits a compliment from her crush.
40:35 – Marina gushes about how wonderful Colin is to Penelope, thus breaking her heart. (We’ve all been there, right?)
Episode 5: The Duke And I10:13 – Colin arrives at the Featherington house not for Pen but to court Marina. But Penelope isn’t going to just take this lying down…
22:23 – Penelope’s mother has a tense conversation with Marina in which they plan a plot that would trap Colin. Luckily, Penelope caught the whole thing.
35:43 – Penelope has a big ask for Marina at Daphne and Simon’s wedding reception: “You can choose anyone but him.” Colin then arrives and escorts Marina away to ask a very big and upsetting question (for Penelope and all of us Polin shippers).
Episode 6: Swish3:15 – Colin announces his engagement to Marina and get properly dressed down for it by the lovely Anthony right afterward. (But poor Pen has to put on a brave face for the announcement.)
28:00 – Penelope tries to tell Colin what’s really going on with Marina, but unfortunately the man is just too clueless for his own good. Enter Marina, who really puts on a show for Colin.
39:05 – Penelope uncovers a forgery plot and tells Marina in the hopes it would change her mind, but nothing is that easy. Then Marina says something particularly cutting to Pen’s poor delicate heart. Eloise then comforts her in the garden.
52:55 – The new Lady Whistledown column comes out from which Colin learns of Marina’s pregnancy. (And if you’ve already watched Season 3, you know the significance of this.)
Episode 7: Oceans Apart14:10 – Marina arrives to speak with Daphne and Colin. Colin confronts Marina and says his goodbyes, thus freeing him up for his future wife.
Episode 8: After the Rain40:50 – Colin and Pen spot each other at the Hastings Ball and have some serious eye contact before he comes over and gives her the apology she deserves. We also get this masterful quote from Penelope:
“You were not a fool. You merely believed yourself in love. One should never apologize for that. One finds oneself in such an incredible position, and, well, one should declare it, assuredly, fervently, loudly.”
Unfortunately, Colin has some bad news before she can spill her feelings herself.
1:01:50 – Penelope watches on as Colin leaves and it’s heartbreak.
1:06:30 – Just an important little reveal for you.
Season 2NetflixEpisode 1: Capital R RakeUnfortunately, Colin isn’t in this episode. Still there’s a bit you might want to watch for the Polin romance arc.
48:00 – Big sister Prudence sees that Penelope has been writing letters to Colin and tells their mom. Get ready for some mean quotes to Penelope from the elder Featheringtons.
Episode 2: Off to the Races04:10 – Colin arrives home from Greece while Penelope is visiting with Eloise. This scene is worth the watch even just for the great eye contact. Anyone who says Colin only falls for Penelope in Season 3 is sorely mistaken.
11:30 – Penelope and Colin talk at the races. Look at the way he looks at her!
35:55 – At yet another soiree, Penelope and Colin talk. Unfortunately, we get this line out of Mister Bridgerton: “You are Pen. You do not count.”
Episode 3: A Bee in Your BonnetNot much here for the Polin stans, so you can probably skip it.
Episode 4: Victory5:55 – Penelope, Colin, and Eloise have a nice little conversation at Aubrey Hall. It’s going well until Colin mentions visiting a certain cousin of Penelope.
22:00 – After a very awkward day hanging out with Marina and her husband, Colin gets an earful from his former fiancé about how he needs to “wake up.” While this scene doesn’t have Penelope, it’s a must watch for Colin’s character development.
51:00 – Colin and Penelope have a moment on the stairs that will make you extra nervous for when he finds out the identity of Lady Whistledown.
Episode 5: An Unthinkable Fate17:05 – A stilted conversation with a couple who’s being really awkward around each other? That’s Polin for you. It may be an odd interaction, but it should still be on the list.
Episode 6: The Choice11:05 – Here’s a cute little chat between Penelope, Eloise, and Colin right before the wedding.
51:30 – A VERY sweet conversation where Colin and Penelope finally open up, and we get plenty of moments of him gazing at her while she talks about her hopes and dreams.
Episode 7: Harmony33:05 – Colin visits to speak with Penelope’s cousin, mentioning how great her necklace was at a previous engagement. All us ladies with cleavage know what that means. They then have a discussion in which Colin can’t help but compliment Penelope in confusing ways.
Episode 8: The Viscount Who Loved Me42:45 – Penelope watches with a scowl on her face as Colin dances with Cressida, and we can’t blame her. But then Colin takes Penelope’s hand (!!) and pulls her away. Unfortunately, it’s not for the conversation she’s been hoping for.
45:48 – Colin and Penelope dance together and have a wonderful, emotional conversation. “I will always look after you, Penelope. You are special to me.”
52: 32 – Eloise confronts Penelope in a friendship-ending conversation that’s more heartbreaking than anything we’ve seen yet.
58:50 – Here’s where Penelope overhears Colin saying he would never court her in a million years. Poor Penelope ends the season heartbroken and alone.
And that’s it! You’ve now watched all of Colin and Penelope’s scenes from Season 1 and 2. Enjoy Season 3, which is all about them finally getting together. (Not without a bit of drama to raise the heartrates of the Polin fans everywhere, though.)
Full-fledged psychopathy is rare, but some level of psychopathic traits is estimated to be present in 30% of the adult population by researchers. Here are six subtle signs someone may have psychopathic traits that you may mistake as just “kindness,” according to an expert and researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy. They are superficially charming and glib, yet you catch them in many lies and contradictory behaviors that contradict their seeming charm. One of the most arresting traits of a psychopathic person is just how charming they are! People who’ve been swindled by psychopathic con artists or even violent predators note that this charm seems almost supernatural, and they feel overtaken by the psychopath’s magnetism. In reality, the reason psychopaths are so charming is that they lack affective empathy for others, and if they fall into the less impulsive subtype of psychopathy (known as primary psychopathy), they also have diminished fear and a lack of a startle response to dangerous situations. For example, for the average joe, it can be nerve-wracking to approach a stranger and flirt with them ostensibly in a way that draws the person’s attention. For a psychopath, it’s second nature. Unfortunately, such charm is often contradicted by the lies these types tell, which can be uncovered as you begin to note the discrepancies between what they say and the false promises they make, and their actual pattern of behaviors. You must resist the psychopath’s charm to stay grounded in the reality of these discrepancies. When dating someone new, become a “fact-checker” and investigator. Pause before taking anything anyone says at face value. For example, if a date tells you they are looking to get married and have children but seems to be sexually forward in a way that doesn’t align with the organic pace of someone wanting to get to know you, or a friend tells you they support your success but seems to go out of their way to sabotage you, take it as a red flag that their behavior contradicts their word. It can be tempting to take people at their word, especially if you are an honest, empathic, and transparent person yourself projecting these qualities onto others around you, but let the behavior of others speak for itself.
In the beginning, they love-bomb you and make generous grand gestures to hook you. Once you’re sufficiently invested or they fulfill a hidden agenda, they may mistreat you and become emotionally stingy or backtrack on their promises.The psychopathic person is a parasitic individual, leeching off the resources of others, and they target you for a purpose: to gain access to whatever it is you have that they covet or want. This could be money, consistent sex, material resources, talents, connections, emotional labor, “eye candy” on their arm, domestic labor, a way to continue their “legacy,” through childbearing or even a house to live in. Some dupe their targets into romantic relationships solely so they can give off the image of normalcy. Whatever their hidden motives and agendas may be, they have to love bomb you first with generous gestures and future-faking promises to ensure you are willing to invest in them and center them. They have to present themselves as a kind, thoughtful person who wants the best for you, when in reality, they plan to do whatever is best for them. Once you’re sufficiently hooked however, you may find that this person starts backtracking on promises they once made and becoming stingy and even rageful should you try to get them to fulfill their “half” of the implicit “agreements” you both have made in the relationship.
They show you great empathy and sympathy when necessary to maintain your relationship, but when there’s nothing in it for them, they couldn’t care less. Psychopathic and narcissistic individuals possess cognitive empathy, which means they know to identify what others may be feeling and thinking. But they lack affective empathy and the remorse to genuinely care about the feelings of others unless it benefits them in some way. You may notice that this person appears incredibly generous and kind at first and seems to sympathize with your plights and problems in the beginning, and even go out of their way to shower you with solutions to all your problems, especially if this maintains your relationship and your relationship benefits them in some way. For example, a psychopath who is looking for a place to live may go out of their way to lure you into a relationship and fast-forward intimacy so you can live together. They may praise you 24/7, go out of their way to give you gifts, take you out on romantic dates, pick up groceries or run errands for you, and maintain excessive contact with you during the time they’re “seducing” you into this scam. However, once they’ve fulfilled their hidden agenda or have gotten you invested in the relationship, they begin to drop any act of affection and attention and show a cold callousness that seems to be an abrupt departure from the kind and generous person you thought you knew.
They engage in behavior that seems harmful and inappropriate but are filled with pity ploys. You may notice a psychopathic person engaging in activities that seem harmful to others on a regular basis, yet they seem to come up with numerous excuses when called out, while creating an image of themselves as a kind and generous person. For example, perhaps you notice them relying on the labor of others and stealing ideas from their friends to become successful, but when you mention this, they begin staging a Shakespearean monologue about how stressful it is to work so hard, thus depicting themselves as an overwhelmed person who had no other resort but to exploit others. Or maybe they’ve asked you for a loan they promised they would give back, but whenever you ask about being paid back, they start telling a sob story about how difficult the economy is, and how they appreciate “true friends” like you who don’t expect anything back. Perhaps a dating partner talks about how their exes had numerous restraining orders against them, but that’s only because their exes were “crazy,” and they were forced to endure numerous relationships with such “unstable” people, painting themselves as the kind, gentle partner who is always targeted. Be wary. Remember: Ted Bundy first lured his victims into “helping” him by pretending to be injured. If pity ploys and excuses always seem to follow this person wherever they go as they play the smallest violin at their one-man or one-woman show, this is likely a person allergic to accountability. Whether they are psychopathic or not, they are not someone who is emotionally mature enough to own up to behavior that is harmful or toxic, and this likely won’t end up being a compatible relationship or friendship.
Imagine playing whack-a-mole but on your face. Eczema is one fickle illness. Eczema, or atopic dermatitis as my dermatologist called it while handing me a steroid prescription, affects 10% of Americans. It took a slow cascade of events, a perfect storm if you will, until I graduated into that class of 10%. Full honors and straight A’s.
It’s honestly pretty embarrassing that my descent to rock bottom begins with me in my pajamas, in a full face of makeup, eating pancakes in my kitchen. But now that I type this out, that absolutely sounds like the beginning of a twenty-something’s downward spiral. I was enjoying my breakfast when I was interrupted by the rain in my apartment. Yes, rain. Like a borderline torrential downpour coming out of the light fixtures, walls, and ceiling, kind of rain. It was raining in my apartment. And the worst part… the water was steaming hot. And brown.
Essentially a radiator pipe burst in the apartment above mine causing a massive leak that could only be shut off inside the grass-fed burger restaurant I lived above. Turns out no one was eating, or cooking, burgers at 8 am. The rainstorm ended up lasting an hour and a half. Hey, it was a classic New York City experience… right?
I got my first eczema flare-up one week after the leak. Redness on my eyelids. I honestly didn’t mind the natural eye shadow. It was manageable and easy enough to ignore. I figured it would go away in a few days. I was wrong, it got worse. It encircled both of my eyes. What was once a cute natural smokey eye was now me looking like a red panda. Still cute, but in a terribly different way.
I realized something was actually wrong when it started itching. 5 hours after that first itch I was seated in the dermatologist’s office. He walked in, looked at me, and said “Oh you must be very uncomfortable.” Little did I know he was describing my next four months. He told me the pain would settle down and gave me a prescription for desonide. That tiny tube of steroids was my most prized possession for the following month.
The inflammation and itch went away. I was healed. I was so grateful for such an easy fix. I could move on and never look back.
On March 15, exactly three months after my first flare-up, down to the day, I woke up with bloodshot eyes. This was when I received the first lesson of my journey; healing is rarely ever that easy. And then the real flare-up began.
On March 16, I woke up with eczema patches on my jaw and under my eyes.
On March 17, my face became swollen and bumpy from all of the patches.
On March 18, my eyelids began to swell.
On March 19, my vision started to decline from my swollen eyelids.
It was progressing every day and I had no clue how to make it stop. It began to take over my life, typical of chronic illness to be so selfish. But the constant pain and inconvenience wasn’t the worst part, it was the fear I felt every morning when I looked in the mirror and couldn’t recognize my reflection. Eczema was holding me hostage in my own body.
I was doing everything I could to identify the cause of this flare-up. I bought new sheets, new makeup, new moisturizers, new antihistamines, and new air purifiers, slept on the couch, slept with the windows closed, slept with the windows open, and slept at my friend’s house with the windows open with my air purifier, got a mold inspector, got a doctor, got prednisone. Everything was a threat, and absolutely nothing was working.
Two weeks later my lease ended. I quit my job, packed up all of my stuff, and drove from New York City to Oklahoma City. I was probably going to do all of that anyway, but I was half in half out about it. I couldn’t make up my mind if I should leave New York or stay. This crisis gave me the push I needed to feel 100% confident in my decision to go. That was when I received the second lesson of my journey; sometimes life just goes ahead and decides for you.
I arrived in Oklahoma City hoping the fresh start and fresh air would calm my eczema down. Nope, it didn’t, so I called my integrative doctor whom I enlisted years before to treat my PCOS and hypothyroid. The next day I hid the steroids in the back of a cabinet and started an elimination diet where I cut out all gluten, grains, sugar, yeast, dairy, eggs, soy, legumes, nightshades, alcohol, and processed foods.
The itch started to lessen after one day on the diet. Three days later the redness began to calm down. I finally had a glimmer of hope. The one thing I didn’t think to try, my diet, was what healed me after all. Food is medicine. After weeks of being terrified of my reflection, I was now excited to look in the mirror every morning and see the progression of my healing. I wore my eczema with pride because it was a symbol of my strength and determination to heal myself.
It took months, but I got 1% better every day. That was all I needed to keep moving forward. I was fortunate enough to take a season (or three) to hibernate, heal, and herd myself onto a completely new path. I watched the sunset every day, learned how to exercise, got a service job, and most importantly, started to post about my diet and healing journey online. I began to cultivate a community of people who also live with chronic illness. It has become my passion and purpose.
It took jumping into the unknown and persevering through my lows to receive the third lesson of my journey; you have to enter the cave to find the treasure.
Are you a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha? Hard to say, right? Well, according to Jeff Guenther of the popular TikTok account @TherapyJeff, there’s a reason why you have trouble picking just one SATC character you relate to the most, and the reason is that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha are based on psychologist Carl Jung’s interpretation of the personality.
(For any non-psych nerds in the chat, Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytic psychology. He’s most well known for his work in developing theories related to personality, archetypes, and the collective unconscious.)
Recently, Jeff was on an episode of the This Changes Everything Podcast. In a now-viral clip, Jeff explained exactly how Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha all represent one of the four personality parts proposed by Jung: anima, animus, shadow, and persona.
“So, Carl Jung was like, alright there are four parts of the personality,” Jeff explained in the podcast episode. “There’s the ‘anima,’ which is like the female part. And then there’s the ‘animus,’ which is the male part.” Jeff stated how Charlotte represented the anima, the exaggerated feminine side while Miranda is the masculine animus part of the personality.
In addition to the masculine and feminine components of the personality, Jung also posited there is a shadow part and a persona part. “And then there’s the shadow part, right? Who is Samantha, the sort of like id, hedonistic, ‘I’ll do what I want.’ And then there’s the persona, what we want to show to the world, how we want to be seen, which is Carrie.”
From there, Jeff went on to explain how each part of Jung’s personality theory is essential to being a complete person. “In that show, they can’t operate on their own,” Jeff said. “They sort of fall apart into their own exaggerated miseries. But when they come back and have cocktails together, they’re operating and like perfect symmetry. And that’s why we can all relate to one of those because we’re like, all of those are inside of us.”
Of course, you probably do see more of yourself in one character versus the others. For example, I definitely see myself as mostly a Miranda. However, in some scenes, I deeply relate to Charlotte, Carrie, and Samantha. This is what makes the show so iconic in the first place.
“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Protagonist versus antagonist. Hero versus villain. It’s a tale as old as time, and the basic schematic of every story. Sometimes, though, clever filmmakers try to subvert expectations to make audiences question everything they have seen or believed up to a point. The quickest and most effective way to elicit an OMG reaction is through a game-changing revelation that the protagonist has been the antagonist all along. Sure, it’s the kind of twist that only hits hard on the first watch, but oh, it’s too juicy to ever forget about thereafter.
With that said, let’s take a look at the films that should have come with a warning for everyone to wear a helmet because the protagonist-antagonist switcheroo blew minds. (Beware: Spoilers ahead.)
Fight Club20th Century FoxIn Fight Club, the unnamed narrator (Edward Norton) lives a pitiful, middle-class existence until he meets the handsome and carefree Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt). He comes alive when they slug it out and turn their back on society’s expectations and norms. It doesn’t take too long for them to attract others into their “fight club” and anti-establishment organization.
However, the narrator grows uneasy as Tyler’s plans get bigger and badder. For example, a key part of his proposed Project Mayhem involves blowing up the headquarters of credit card companies and freeing society from the shackles of debt and the noose of accumulated interest. When the narrator tries to stop Tyler, he comes to the realization that he is Tyler–he created this wild personality as a form of escapism to do and say what his consciousness secretly craved. He is Jack’s fractured psyche.
SaltburnWarner Bros.Look, Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan) comes across as a freak rather fast in Saltburn. For the average viewer, though, they would explain away his behavior as a young man infatuated with Felix Catton (Jacob Elordi) who struggles to deal with his feelings and ability to capture Felix’s full attention. Then, Oliver goes to the Catton family estate, Saltburn, for the summer and he gets treated like an outsider – especially by Felix’s cousin Farleigh Start (Archie Madekwe).
The turning point comes when Oliver’s lies about his family are discovered by Felix, who turns his back on his friend. From there, a series of tragic events occur where Felix and his sister, Venetia (Alison Oliver), die, Farleigh gets cut off from the family, and Oliver gets paid to leave Saltburn. Fast-forward a few years later, Oliver finds himself back at Saltburn at the behest of Felix’s mother, Lady Elspeth (Rosamund Pike). On her deathbed, Oliver reveals himself to be the person who orchestrated everything to take control of Saltburn and the lavish lifestyle he craved. “I hated all of you,” he says. “And you made it so easy. Spoiled dogs sleeping belly-up.”
Gone Girl20th Century FoxIn Gone Girl, Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) disappears and her husband, Nick (Ben Affleck), becomes the prime suspect. Through Amy’s journal entries, the audience learns more about Amy and Nick’s shaky relationship and how they reached a point of no return. Amy reveals what led them to grow apart and the pressures they experienced as both individuals and as a couple, culminating with Nick starting an affair with his student.
Throughout the film, Nick proclaims his innocence, despite the mounting evidence against him and his occasional bend of the truth. Is Nick a rotten husband? Sure. But is he a murderer? That remains unclear… until Amy is revealed to be alive and well. After discovering Nick’s affair, she planned to frame him for her murder to teach him the ultimate lesson. Her revenge tour might not have gone off as she initially expected, but she still comes out looking like the hero in the end and having Nick right under her thumb.
JokerWarner Bros.To be fair, anyone familiar with the Batman mythos should not have gone into this expecting Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) to turn into Gandhi in Joker–since he is DC’s residential homicidal clown. However, Todd Phillips’ film does a good job of portraying Arthur as a downtrodden and vulnerable member of society. He dreams of becoming a celebrated comedian and appearing on Murray Franklin’s (Robert De Niro) talk show. At the same time, he starts a relationship with his neighbor Sophie Dumond (Zazie Beetz), while believing he discovered the identity of his real father, Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen).
This all changes when Thomas reveals to Arthur that he isn’t his father and Penny (Frances Conroy) adopted him. From there, Arthur snaps–killing his mother, murdering Murray on his own talk show, and inciting violence in Gotham City. Not exactly a heroic reaction to bad news, is it? Also, it’s revealed that Arthur never had a relationship with Sophie to begin with–it was all a figment of his imagination. One has to wonder how much more of Arthur’s sympathetic story was all in his head and not an accurate representation of the real events.
The ShiningWarner Bros.Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) and his family live the dream, as they move into the Overlook Hotel during the winter season. Remote and devoid of any other human beings around them, this is the equivalent of Heaven on Earth for every introvert as they have this giant place all to themselves. However, Jack starts to experience severe writer’s block in this time, which understandably makes him a little crabby to be around.
Unfortunately, the general crabbiness soon turns into a murderous streak as the hotel’s ghosts – literally and figuratively – take over Jack. Stuck in the middle of nowhere and terrified of all the strange happenings, his family runs away from the possessed Jack as he tries to kill his wife, Wendy (Shelley Duvall), and son, Danny (Danny Lloyd). Ultimately, Jack meets an icy end by freezing to death in the outside maze after his son tricks him. But what’s the moral of the story here? Don’t let writer’s block turn you to the dark side.
Before Star Wars, before The Matrix, before Alien, The Terminator, or Jurassic Park, there were the genre-defining sci-fi adventures of the Planet of the Apes series. One of the earliest franchises to catapult science fiction into mainstream popularity, Planet of the Apes forever changed how audiences perceived sci-fi narratives in the late 1960s. Using the genre as a conversational talking point, Planet of the Apes probed into the unsettling issues associated with ‘60s society, from fears over nuclear annihilation to issues related to race, religious fanaticism, and animal rights activism.
Over 50 years since the release of its first movie, the Planet of the Apes series is still going strong, ushering in several sequels that have managed to reboot the Apes saga from the ground up. With the recent release of Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, we decided to take a look back at the moments that define the overall Apes universe, including the iconic scenes that live rent-free in viewers’ heads to this very day.
The Mutants Show Their True Colors20th Century FoxWithout a doubt the weirdest entry in the Planet of the Apes series, Beneath the Planet of the Apes can only accurately be described by two words: “fever dream.” With a plot line that includes telepathic mutants living underground battling a band of militaristic gorillas, Beneath will leave audiences raising their eyebrows in more than a few places. Yet one scene they won’t be laughing at sees the mutants shedding their human masks and showing off their true selves. To this very day, it’s near impossible not to get the heebie-jeebies once the Doomsday Bomb-worshiping zealots start peeling off their faces, exposing their radiated physical features for all the world to see.
“It’s a madhouse!”20th Century FoxThe fact that Charlton Heston was apparently recovering from the flu when they shot the famous “It’s a madhouse” sequence in Planet of the Apes only further adds to the realism of the entire scene. On the verge of a complete mental collapse, Heston’s physical fatigue matched Taylor’s exhaustion to a T. The results lended a whole new level of believability to this now-famous moment, so that–by the time Taylor’s down getting sprayed by the fire hose–it truly feels like you’re watching a man on the brink of insanity, adding a whole new dimension to Heston’s dialogue delivery.
Taylor Activates the Doomsday Bomb20th Century FoxEven when compared to its immediate predecessor, Beneath the Planet of the Apes’ ending makes the final scene of Planet of the Apes appear tame by nature. As Ursus’s forces demolish the mutant shrine to the Alpha Omega Doomsday Bomb, a fatally wounded Taylor makes one last ditch effort to appeal to Dr. Zaius’s humanity, only to be met with indifference and hostility from the human-hating orangutan. Realizing Earth’s future is beyond saving, Taylor uses his dying breath to activate the bomb, destroying this nightmarish planet as a narrator monotonously drones on, “In one of the countless billions of galaxies in the universe lies a medium sized star, and one of its satellites, a green and insignificant planet, is now dead.” Talk about a bummer of an ending.
Apes Riding on HorsebackIt takes a little while before the apes make their first appearance in the original Planet of the Apes, but the end results couldn’t be more satisfying. As they’re thrust in the middle of a chaotic human hunt, Taylor and his fellow astronauts get their first glimpse at the titular apes now ruling the world. Galloping on horseback, executing advanced strategy maneuvers, and wielding rifles with the precision of a Western gunslinger, we couldn’t imagine a better first appearance from the hyper-violent gorillas in the film, leaving audiences just as baffled and confused as Taylor himself.
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty ape!”After spending the bulk of Planet of the Apes’ second act struggling to utter a single word, Taylor’s voice returns in grand fashion as he’s swinging from a net in the middle of Ape City. Snapping at the gorilla guards to “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty ape!”, the simian crowd in attendance can only look on in stunned amazement as they realize Taylor is far from the average human they believed him to be. With a rapturous Zira beaming in delight–knowing that all her hokum theories about Taylor’s intelligence have proven correct–everything about this scene just works exponentially well, advancing the stakes of the narrative forward with one major leap.
Caesar’s First WordExpecting something to happen is one thing, but actually seeing it happen is often a completely different matter. Whether ripping open that guitar-shaped present beneath the tree on Christmas morning or finally seeing Billy Joel live in concert, nothing compares to the sensation of witnessing something with your own eyes. Of course, everyone headed into Rise of the Planet of the Apes expected to see the apes communicate with each other, but nothing compared to the moment where Caesar uttered his first word. Letting out a guttural “No” while brandishing a stun baton, the shocked silence from the human and ape characters pretty much sums up audiences’ collective experience: awe, reverence, and a slight feeling of fear.
“You blew it up!”20th Century FoxIs there any other scene that comes close to summarizing Planet of the Apes than the iconic ending to the first film? A plot twist that leaves audiences chilled to the bone over five decades later, nothing can prepare you for Planet of the Apes’ climactic sequence the first time you watch the movie. A stirring condemnation of the nuclear hostilities tied to the ‘60s Cold War, Planet of the Apes’ final scene mercilessly drives home how bleak humanity’s future really is, fading to black on a devastated Taylor as he realizes the truth about the ape-dominated world, as well as how futile his chances of escape truly are.
The category “emotionally immature parents” can include a variety of different types of parents. It can include parents who had children at a very young age and were thus wildly unprepared for parenting, parents who dealt with untreated mental health or substance abuse issues, or even parents with narcissistic traits. Here are six traits and behaviors you may resonate with if you were raised by an emotionally immature parent.
You had to “parent” your parents, so your sense of childhood and adulthood are skewed. Childhood, what’s that? You grew up very quickly learning how to manage the emotions of others and taking care of the adults in your life, so you barely had one. This is known as parentification. You may have felt like you “grew up” alongside your parents rather than being raised by them. Now as an adult you may either pursue fun, decadence, and pleasure excessively to make up for your lost childhood (which, to an extent, is perfectly valid) or may veer toward the other direction, becoming stringently self-disciplined, perfectionistic, and controlling in many facets of your life and relationships. You may have either rushed into becoming a parent at a young age or stayed away from being a parent at all because of what you went through as a child. The strict markers of adulthood and childhood were never demarcated in your life.
You may suffer from self-abandonment. When you were a child, you were asked to make countless sacrifices for other people – the sacrifice of your own mental health, physical health, and innocence, just to ensure the adults in your life stayed afloat. You essentially were forced to abandon yourself and your own needs just to survive and prioritize others while risking your own welfare. As a result, you may struggle with self-abandonment in adulthood. This can present itself in many ways. Perhaps you’re a perfectionistic overachiever who strives to meet their goals even if it means not sleeping or eating. Or maybe you abandon yourself in romantic relationships and friendships, going overboard trying to please a partner while betraying your own basic needs. If you’re suffering from self-abandonment, it’s time to start returning to yourself and prioritizing yourself.
You have natural leadership abilities, resilience, and resourcefulness. Not all the effects of emotionally immature parenting are completely destructive — some can be very useful, especially after you’ve undergone some healing. As a child you had to take initiative if you wanted to survive, so you learned key strategies and developed an acute internal sense of resourcefulness and resilience that drove you to become a leader as an adult. You may take on leadership roles that pivot you into professional and personal success or be a natural leader in your social groups and the “planner” of every event, initiative, and gathering. With healthy boundaries, this sense of resourcefulness and resilience can be used to pave a victorious life.
You are hyper-independent and love to have control, sometimes to a fault, because you grew up having little to no control over your circumstances as a child. Your parents may have subjected you to adult responsibilities before you were ever an adult, and you may have been forced to cater to the vulnerabilities and triggers of those who were meant to be authority figures in your life. Life “happened” to you and forced you to grow up very quickly, and you were forced to use your intuition and quick thinking skills to overcome even the most unbearable of circumstances. As a result, you may have become hyper-independent as an adult, always solving your own problems without asking for help, and attempting to micromanage and control your circumstances now to have the level of control you did not get to have as a child. You also have a hard time asking for help because you grew up learning you could only rely on yourself.
You have a difficult time managing your own emotions. As a child, your emotionally immature parents likely did not model the healthiest forms of communication or emotional validation. You may have grown up witnessing emotional outbursts, rage attacks, or emotional instability in some form or fashion, or brought into the arguments and conflicts of others. Chaos was “normal” for you, and you may have been expected to be the problem-solver or the peacemaker or the one who settled disputes. You were likely made to prioritize the emotional well-being of your parents while foregoing your own. As a result, you have difficulty in recognizing, identifying, and validating your own emotions because you spent so much time absorbed in the emotional states of others. You may feel overwhelmed by anger or despair or feel emotionally numb as a coping mechanism.
You have trouble establishing boundaries. For you, boundaries may exist on extremes. You may have porous boundaries where you become passive, allowing people to trample over your boundaries, or attempt to take care of others excessively and fix their mistakes, because that’s what you did for your emotionally immature parents. Or you may go to the other extreme: you are hypervigilant and distrusting, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You are overprotective of your boundaries, and honestly, no one can blame you considering what you’ve been through. But as a result, you may self-isolate and become detached from intimate relationships because you have a fear they will consume you. This can be kryptonite for toxic people and may serve your healing during your journey, but healthy social connections can also be a vital part of the healing journey, so a balance between self-protection and safe connections is often needed.
For many of us, it’s hard to remember a time when Shrek didn’t exist. Some of us weren’t even born yet! It’s now been 20 years since Shrek 2 was released, which means we’ve had two decades of jokes about Dulac, “Far Far Away,” an evil Fairy Godmother, the Donkey-Dragon romance, and of course, our favorite mean green smelly ogre, Shrek. With a star-studded voice cast, Shrek was able to transcend generations and become a lovable film for parents and their children.
But now we’re all grown up and having kids of our own who we’re excited to bring into the magical world of Shrek. And as we rewatch, it’s obvious that Shrek 2 is actually better than its predecessor. Yes, we said the unthinkable — the sequel is better than the original. Of course there are some moments in the original film that will go unrivaled, from the introduction song to Dulac to Shrek’s onion speech, but Shrek 2 is packed with viral moments, emotional storylines, and a killer soundtrack.
The SoundtrackWe’ll start with the soundtrack. While Smash Mouth’s “All Star” is a truly iconic tune that’s now forever associated with Shrek, the second film’s soundtrack matches and exceeds all of our expectations set by the original. The Counting Crows’ “Accidentally in Love” underscores Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon. David Bowie’s “Changes” defines Shrek and Donkey’s transition into more “conventionally attractive” beings.
DreamWorksBut we can’t forget the Fairy Godmother’s (Jennifer Saunders) show-stopping rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero,” which elevates Shrek 2 from animated sequel into an animated musical sequel. By transforming the fairytale into a musical, Shrek 2 continues to flip the fairytale genre on its head while elevating the stakes. It becomes bigger, more camp, and sillier … and it’s perfect.
It Deepens the Underlying Message and Relates to the Real WorldDreamWorksShrek, which came out in 2001, broke records as the first animated film of the 21st century to be preserved in the National Film Registry. This was, in part, due to how it subverted the stereotypical fairytale. Instead of being saved by “Prince Charming,” Fiona was instead saved by Shrek, an Ogre, who happened to fall for Fiona because of her personality, not because of her outer beauty.
Shrek 2 continues the message while deepening the goal of subverting societal expectations. Typically, fairytales end with a “happily ever after” but Shrek 2 finally shows us what happens after the “happily ever after.” For instance, just because one is happy and in love doesn’t mean that their insecurities just fade away. Sometimes, they can be exacerbated by outside forces.
Relationships can be threatened by new suitors. Meeting the parents almost always puts a strain on romantic relationships. Making changes to appearance or personality can make significant others fall in and out of love with each other, but people grow and change! All of these issues are much more complex and realistic than the simplistic messaging of Shrek.
As Shrek’s audience grew older, so did their subject matter. It’s not just about loving someone for who they are, it’s also about dealing with all of the challenges that come with “love.” Shrek 2 is one of the earliest movies I remember that proves that love can’t just be achieved with a magic potion and that “love at first sight” doesn’t necessarily last forever. It proves that love takes work, even in the most magical situations in the most magical land of all.
The Expanding Cast and UniverseIf you thought the world-building of Shrek was groundbreaking, Shrek 2 is a masterclass in expanding a universe. It continues to build on fairytale tropes by introducing us to more princesses, princes, and citizens of “Far Far Away,” which is always where classic fairy tales take place. Shrek 2 brings in the Fairy Godmother and her son, Prince Charming, but it makes them the villains, which is a fun twist on our perceptions of typically “good” characters.
DreamWorksFiona’s parents, the King and Queen, are voiced by classic British acting royalty, John Cleese and Julie Andrews, and then of course, we meet Antonio Banderas’s Puss in Boots. The adorable cat in booties was so popular that he spawned his own spin-off series. What could be more lovable than a feline assassin with puppy dog eyes? Nothing!
From its songs to its cast to its underlying themes, Shrek 2 paved the way for Dreamworks’ pattern of successful animated sequels. In fact, Shrek 2 is still Dreamworks highest-grossing film to date, proving that it is easily better than its predecessor.
Though The Lost Boys came out over 35 years ago, there’s still a very active fanbase of horror lovers who keep this vampire classic at the tops of their must-watch lists. And rightfully so! Few vampires are as badass as David and the rest of his gang of 80’s glam rock wannabe blood-suckers. Even with all the re-watching fans have been doing for decades, they’ve still found a Mandela Effect in one of The Lost Boys‘ most iconic scenes: When Michael eats Chinese food with David and the gang. Are you remembering this scene all wrong, too?
A Mandela Effect is when a large group of people misremember something. They swear they saw something or heard something, yet all proof says otherwise. Many believe this is a sign of an alternate universe. So, is there a sign of an alternate universe in The Lost Boys? Let’s see: How do you remember the scene when David offers some Chinese food to Michael?
Worms or Maggots?Warner Bros.Ask a bunch of horror fans and they’ll say that the scene goes a little something like this: David hands Michael a to-go box of noodles. Michael tucks in, munching on the Americanized Chinese delicacy. Mid-munch, David asks, “How do you like your worms, Michael?” When Michael asks “What?” in confusion, David responds, “Worms. You’re eating worms.” Michael looks down to find a fistful of worms writhing in his to-go box.
Is that how you remember the scene? Congratulations; you’re remembering it wrong.
Michael never eats worms, or noodles that have been vampire-magicked into looking like worms. In the scene you’ll find in any copy or version of The Lost Boys, this scene plays out with a to-go box of rice that turns into maggots. Yep. Maggots, not worms.
Truly, a lot of people have fallen for this Mandela Effect. Like this person:
I asked my friend, who also loves The Lost Boys. “Hey, in Lost Boys, you know the joke about the worms in Chinese food?” He looks at me, and without even missing a beat, says in the same tone and inflection I vividly remember, “How do you like your worms Michael?” I told him I thought that was it, and explained everything I just did to you. He said I was full of it and looked it up. He was as shocked as me. He called a friend of his who he said that was his all time favorite movie. Same thing. u/themoviehero
So why is everyone remembering it wrong? Let’s figure this out.
A Case for MaggotsFirst of all, there are worms in this scene. After Michael thinks he eats maggots, David then offers him a container of noodles. When Michael looks at the noodles, he sees worms. He mentions this to David, but David–not Michael–munches on the noodles, showing him they aren’t worms. Michael never even holds that container, but it could be a good reason why some people are mixed up. They saw the full scene and assumed it was the worms Michael ate, and not the maggots.
Of course, the people who believe in this Mandela Effect insist there were never maggots in that scene to begin with. Weird, right?
Here’s another interesting tidbit. Have you seen the movie What We Do in the Shadows? It looks like the writers might have been a victim of this Mandela Effect as well. Check out a scene from the movie below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=TAnWmVmDYG8
“We stole that idea from The Lost Boys,” says Deacon after convincing Nick that his “buhsghetti” is worms.
If you’re still unsure of what you really saw in the original The Lost Boys, here’s the iconic scene for proof. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0A80j2BuMaU
You can also watch the whole thing on Amazon Video.
When Harry Met Sally is a classic for a reason and that’s because it’s perfect but also because it still endures after all this time. Here are four love lessons from When Harry Met Sally that still hold up today.
1. Find someone who can love you through all of your iterations.Throughout the film, both Harry and Sally change. Not only do they grow up, but they grow into themselves and begin to truly take ownership of who they are.
The truth of the matter is that people will always change, including the person you fall in love with. The trick is finding someone who can love you through all of your phases, and you them.
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Timing matters.When Harry first met Sally, they did not get along. At all. But on their third meeting, they finally became friends. And from there, their friendship eventually became true love. Sometimes, love just needs time and space before it can work. Timing matters.
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Friendship is a solid foundation for romance.Harry and Sally became best friends before they fell in love. They learned to trust one another and all about each other’s quirks. Friendship is a beautiful and important base for a solid partnership.
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The annoying stuff is the good stuff.The person you’re meant to be with will never be perfect. They’ll be real. And they’re going to get under your skin sometimes. But you’ll find it’s the annoying stuff that is the good stuff.
If you need further evidence that it’s the things that drive you crazy are the things you love the most, please enjoy the last scene of the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ODPyUxLNw
Roger Corman recently passed away, but his legend lives on in his epic filmography.
Roger Corman was many things to many different people. A revolutionary voice in low-budget cinema, a guiding mentor to numerous up-and-coming Hollywood personalities, and a larger-than-life giant among diehard horror fans, Corman wore many different hats throughout his momentous 70-year-long career. Affectionately dubbed “The King of Cult” by long-time admirers of his work, Corman’s influential tenure in the horror genre speaks for itself, giving viewers around the world some of the most shocking horror films of the ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s. Within the realm of Hollywood, Corman also helped dozens of renowned talents get their start in the film industry, aiding everyone from Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper to Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola in the earliest days of their career.
With Corman recently passing away at the age of 98, we decided to look back at The Pope of Pop Cinema’s greatest films, ranking them in order from worst to best.
The Little Shop of HorrorsThe FilmgroupNo, we’re not talking about the Off-Broadway musical that was later turned into a 1986 film by Muppets alumni, Frank Oz. Instead, we’re discussing the original 1960 version of The Little Shop of Horrors–a quirky horror comedy best known for an early supporting appearance from a young Jack Nicholson. More a spoof than an outright horror film, The Little Shop of Horrors’ unique comedic tone helped it stand apart from most other horror films of its era, winning audiences over with its unconventional dark humor and taut blend between horror and comedy.
The Tomb of LigeiaAlta Vista ProductionsThe final entry in Corman’s famous series of Poe adaptations, The Tomb of Ligeia finds Corman once again partnering with his go-to creative collaborator, Vincent Price. As with their previous work in the Corman-Poe cycle, ‘64’s The Tomb of Ligeia featured a far more sensational interpretation of a Poe short story, allowing for an original adaptation the likes of which audiences will have a hard time forgetting. Building a palpable air of suspense through his mysterious central storyline, Corman climbs to the same heights as The Pit and the Pendulum or The Masque of the Red Death with his work here, effortlessly capturing the same eerie atmosphere as his previous Poe adaptations.
A Bucket of BloodAmerican International PicturesA Bucket of Blood may not have been Corman’s first movie, but it’s one of the main films that helped put the fledgling director on the map. Working with a threadbare budget and using every cent to its fullest potential, Corman creates a wonderfully inventive dark comedy horror film with 1959’s A Bucket of Blood. Satirizing the pretentious world of the high-class artistic community, A Bucket of Blood induces just as many laughs as it does genuine scares from viewers, kicking off Corman’s first foray into the comedic genre with a loud and satisfying bang.
The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre20th Century FoxBreaking from his initial low-budget background, The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre marked one of the rare times Corman agreed to work within the confines of the mainstream studio system. Equipped with a larger budget and an impressive line-up of well-known character actors, Corman made a splash when it came to The St. Valentine Day’s Massacre’s production. Attempting to create one of the most accurate depictions of organized crime in ‘20s Chicago as possible, Corman’s unique docudrama approach to the largely factual story helped the final product stand out in Corman’s larger filmography, appealing to Corman’s dedicated fans and non-horror viewers alike.
X: The Man with the X-Ray EyesAmerican International PicturesTaking a momentary break from his famous Poe adaptations, Corman set his sights (pun intended) on the 1963 horror film, X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes. A cautionary sci-fi movie in the same mold as The Invisible Man or Frankenstein, X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes explores the dangers of meddling in the unnatural sciences–something that Ray Milland’s lead character quickly comes to regret ever doing. Surprisingly dark for an early ‘60s horror movie, X: The Man with the X-Ray is guaranteed to leave you with a serious case of the heebie-jeebies, matching the taut suspense of Corman’s various other horror movies.
The Masque of the Red DeathAmerican International PicturesQuite possibly the most creative of Corman’s many horror films, The Masque of the Red Death benefits significantly from Corman’s willingness to reinvent his age-old source material (in this case, the famous Edgar Allan Poe short story of the same name). Casting Vincent Price as the sadistic devil-worshiper Prince Prospero, Corman creates an eerily seductive supernatural horror movie that isn’t afraid of veering into hallucinogenic territory, unnerving viewers throughout its sparse 90-minute runtime.
The Pit and the PendulumAmerican International PicturesThe second of Corman’s Edgar Allan Poe adaptations, The Pit and the Pendulum also happens to take the cake for the best entry in Corman’s entire filmography. As shocking today as it was over six decades ago, The Pit and the Pendulum’s visceral imagery continues to hold up in the 60-odd years since the film’s original release, accounting for its ongoing popularity among avid horror fans. Dark, disturbing, and ending on a wonderfully grim final note, everything about The Pit and the Pendulum is pure Corman-esque entertainment at its finest.
There aren’t many things more magical than a person’s first experience falling in love. Whether it comes in the form of a childhood crush or in the often confusing realm of high school adolescents, first romances have a way of affecting our larger outlook on love and relationships in general. Experiencing emotions we’ve likely never felt before, we’re also presented with unique challenges when it comes to these initial romances, whether it’s learning how to communicate with our significant others or navigating an awkward first date.
Capturing these relatable moments in an effective and emotional way, certain movies have managed to illustrate younger individuals’ initial experiences in a meaningful romantic relationship. From swooning coming-of-age dramas to cathartic teen comedies, these movies will leave you with a newfound appreciation for a person’s first brush with Cupid’s heart-tipped arrows.
Moonrise KingdomFocus FeaturesAs his fans can readily admit, Wes Anderson movies have a very distinct style to them, be it visually, tonally, or creatively regarding his main characters and foremost narrative stories. Case in point with Moonrise Kingdom, the director’s 2012 comedy drama centered around a pre-teen couple (Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward) who flee into the woods together in 1960s New England. Perhaps the closest Anderson has ever come to tackling a full-blown romantic epic, Moonrise Kingdom perfectly utilizes Anderson’s unique comedic style and visual presentation, making it an ideal starting place for anyone unfamiliar with Anderson’s body of work.
Call Me By Your NameSony PicturesComing to terms with one’s sexual awakening is never easy, especially when it comes to non-heterosexual feelings in 1980s Italy. Using that simple premise as its jumping off point, director Luca Guadagnino provides a stunning look at a young man (Timothée Chalamet) realizing his true sexual orientation, as well as his endearing first romance with an older colleague of his father’s (Armie Hammer). Subtle, reflective, and ultimately hopeful about the prospect of finding true love with the support of friends and family at your back, Call Me By Your Name will leave viewers weeping even as they quietly look back at the romantic relationships they’ve had in the past.
My GirlColumbia PicturesIf you leave My Girl with a dry eye, you urgently need to contact a medical professional. One of the saddest movies you’ll find anywhere, My Girl details the coming-of-age story of 11-year-old Vada (Anna Chlumsky) and her first experiences with love, death, and the harsh realities of the adult world. Forming a deep emotional attachment to her classmate (Macaulay Culkin), Vada searches for a deeper understanding of the world in lieu of her ongoing obsession with death. While certainly a depressing movie, My Girl also illustrates the fact that there’s more to life than mere heartbreak and tragedy, allowing us a more nuanced grasp of our relationships and how they affect our outlooks on life.
Blue Is the Warmest ColourWild BunchA film very much along the same lines as Call Me By Your Name, Blue Is the Warmest Color focuses on the personal experiences of a high school student (Adèle Exarchopoulos) learning to accept her homosexual feelings for another woman (Léa Seydoux). Like Call Me By Your Name, the finished product harps on the profound emotional growth a person experiences once they’ve accepted the truth about their sexuality. Unlike Call Me By Your Name, however, Blue Is the Warmest Colour also includes the darker aspects of one’s coming out, complete with harsh reactions from family and friends. Yet at the end of the day, Blue Is the Warmest Colour proves that such obstacles are ultimately worth the rewards, giving us all the freedom to pursue the romantic attachments we want rather than the ones we’re expected to have.
The Fault in Our Stars20th Century FoxLike most of the movies on this list, The Fault in Our Stars is bound to leave viewers violently sobbing, mercilessly tugging at our heartstrings through its dramatic story and sobering plot points. Yet by and large, this 2014 adaptation of John Green’s best-selling YA novel is nothing short of brilliant, never wasting a moment to create a lasting impression on audience members fortunate enough to experience it. Propelled by Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort’s agreeable romantic chemistry, The Fault in Our Stars emphasizes the unpredictability of everyday existence, encouraging us to live every day with the people that matter most in our lives–because after all, we never know which day will be our last.
Titanic20th Century FoxA romantic epic that owes plenty to Romeo and Juliet, Titanic hammers home the idea that love doesn’t fall into set categories, transcending social classes and petty notions of wealth, power, or prestige. Following two young lovers from opposing backgrounds (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet) who bond over the course of the Titanic’s first and final voyage, Titanic also does a wonderful job underscoring how a meaningful romance can change an entire person’s life. Even as she approaches the end, the elderly Rose is able to look back at her brief connection with Jack as the defining moment of her existence, equipping her with the necessary courage to begin her life anew.
Hello there, my name is Gemma. I’m 27 years old, and a mother to a little girl called Ariella (4) and we are expecting another little bundle of joy in December! I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 2021 after a long battle of symptoms, before getting this diagnosis.
Let’s rewind back to when I was younger. I’ve always had trouble with my “bowels.” Stomach cramps, diarrhea, loss of appetite — you name it, I had it. I had gone to the doctors’ multiple times, and was always told it’s just IBS. I was told to contain my diet, or try over-the-counter remedies, but nothing worked. I just had to live on. I managed to simply live with it and tried to get on with my life.
However, in 2020 after giving birth to our daughter, things changed. Around October, my symptoms dramatically worsened. I had lost a lot of weight (unexpectedly), made excessive toilet trips, had a poor appetite and chronic fatigue. However, I just put all of these things down to postpartum…
By January 2021, I was still suffering and just getting on with my daily activities because I presumed it was “IBS.” One day, I was watching “Sam & Billie Faiers: The Mummy Diaries.” Sam was doing a charity run for Crohn’s disease — I had no idea what this was…so I began to Google.
Then it hit me — wow, I think I could have this terrible disease. The symptoms were just me to a T.
I rang the doctors’ back and forth, sending off multiple stool samples…and after doing this for months, I finally got somewhere and was referred for a colonoscopy (FYI, not a pleasant experience). After the scan, they told me it definitely looks like I have Crohn’s disease. Then after a mix up with the GP’s and consultations, I needed more tests. This time an MRI! They needed more “evidence” to prove that I had Crohn’s (even though the colonoscopy showed this).
The MRI wasn’t very pleasant either, but it just had to be done.
In December 2021, I finally had a diagnosis…but did I feel better? Did it give me some relief? YES! YES! YES! I finally had confirmation that I wasn’t making anything up, and by this time, I had lost over a stone in weight and became very sickly.
After receiving my diagnosis, I admit I felt numb and strange…how can this be happening to me? I was only 24 years old, and knew I had to put on a brave face for my little girl. It took me a while to recover and get back to myself. I had gotten an infection, so this delayed my discharge from hospital. When I was discharged, it was the weirdest thing. Everything looked different — life continued in the world with me being stuck in hospital.
Reuniting with my daughter was one of the happiest days of my life. She really helped my recovery!
In June 2022, the disease came back quicker than expected, after more tests. Luckily, they found medication to try to prevent it from spreading further and maintain the disease. After swapping and changing for the past year, due to not working and having reactions.
Fast forward to May 2024, I am doing great…classed as “in remission,” and I am undergoing a healthy pregnancy. I have a great IBD team, consultants available, and regular appointments to discuss any new symptoms or queries.
My journey has been undoubtedly tough, but I have had the most amazing supportive system. I couldn’t have done this without my precious family.
Dearest readers,
If you’re at all acquainted with the content I write for this fine TV + Movies section of Thought Catalog, you may have noted my excitement for Bridgerton Season 3. Truth is, I’d not only never seen a single episode of the smash hit Netflix romance series (aside from the brief rundowns of commentary YouTubers), but I’ve never read any of the books. Why then would I be so excited for this season when I never had any interest before? It’s not for the Regency era shenanigans or the beautiful dresses or the stunning Shondaland storylines. For me, it’s because of Penelope Featherington.
I have an active imagination. I can see myself in most romantic comedy leads if for nothing than my immense hopeless (“hopeful?”) romanticism. When someone finally professes their love for the main character, my heart swells, living vicariously through them despite not being the same in the same economic bracket or race or body type, the list goes on. And maybe I’m good at that because I’ve never truly had anyone to relate to. If I wait for a rom com heroine to be exactly like me before I can swoon over her happy ending, I fear my streaming queues would remain empty.
But then I heard about Bridgerton Season 3. About a girl who likes books and can’t help but fall for men who never look her way. Who yearns to have a cadre of suitors like the other women in her society. And, most of all, a woman who looked just like me. Not the smooth, toned body I’ve been told my whole life is the only suitable way to be loved. Instead, a girl who was bigger. Who was cast aside for her size.
Finally, I saw someone like me.
In the leadup to the first part of this season coming out, I couldn’t get enough of the press for the show. Lead actors Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton having knowing glances in real life as if to say “this doesn’t have to be a fantasy.” The official trailers that promised heat and longing that doesn’t normally get reserved for the fat girls. And I ate it up.
So, on May 16, the release day for the first part of Bridgerton Season 3, I watched with bated breath, excited to finally see myself in a romance. And I did. And it made me deeply sad.
I’ve felt Penelope’s reality. I have been the one on the wall, not getting picked. I’ve watched as my prettier, more “normal” friends got chosen ahead of me. I’ve noticed that I’ve been an afterthought. That I could only be seen as the “friend,” and never the romantic interest, the sexual prize. As Penelope dipped deeper and deeper into despair as she gained further and further proof that she was unwanted and undesirable–even after getting a killer makeover and looking absolutely stunning, by the way–I too was reminded of that feeling of being unwanted and undesirable. My tears were as much for me as they were for her. I ached not because I understood her despair, but because I felt it, too.
Maybe the consequence of finally seeing myself in a main character is that I have to feel all the bitter, self-hatred-affirming feelings that the main character does. Penelope Featherington believes that she will die alone, that she will never be chosen, that she will always watch from the wall as life and love moves on without her. That the mere idea that someone could dream of being with her is beyond laughable.
I am Penelope Featherington.
By the end of the first part of Bridgerton Season 3, Penelope is finally getting proof that she can be desirable. That someone could want her. And someone wonderful at that. Penelope Featherington doesn’t have to wait on the wall. She doesn’t have to die alone. She doesn’t have to be unloved, unwanted, undesirable.
I am Penelope Featherington.
And I hope we both get our happy endings.
It’s summer, summer, summertime! The days are longer, the sun is shining, and everyone is ready to hang out at their favorite festival or local patio. We have all been anticipating this time for months, but there’s also something else to be excited about when it’s time to wind down and relax at the end of a long, eventful day. That’s right, some new and old favorite TV shows are making their way to your streaming services this summer! Let’s take a look at some of the most highly anticipated shows and when and where you can stream them.
Bridgerton Season 3, Part 1 & 2NetflixNetflix: Part 1 on May 16th and Part 2 on June 13thBridgerton is a fan favorite among Netflix subscribers, and the third season is FINALLY here! Bridgerton follows a family of siblings who are looking for love during the Regency era in England. This season focuses on Colin Bridgerton (Luke Newton) and Penelope Featherington (Nicola Coughlan) and how their friendship transforms into a bit more, especially with Colin being ready for marriage. Part 1 is available to watch now, and once you binge it you only have to wait a few weeks for Part 2, which releases on June 13th.
Evil Season 4Paramount+Paramount+: May 23rdEvil flies a little under the radar, so if you haven’t watched it already, you should! Centering around a psychologist and a priest-in-training, they investigate the church’s unexplained horrors and haunts. The fourth season is the show’s final season, and the demonic possessions and ghostly cases will be turned up a notch. We get to see Kristen (Katja Herbers), David (Mike Colter), and Ben (Aasif Mandvi) face off against Dr. Leland Townsend (Michael Emerson) and all the families that make up Evil.
Eric Season 1NetflixNetflix: May 30thA new show out this summer is Eric, starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Cumberbatch plays Vincent, a puppeteer who is searching for his missing nine-year-old son. Vincent begins to let the trauma and guilt of his son’s disappearance consume him, so he pushes away everyone except for the puppet his son created named Eric. This is definitely a unique premise we haven’t seen, and Benedict Cumberbatch always delivers.
The Acolyte Season 1Disney+Disney+: June 4thStar Wars is creating another spin-off series called The Acolyte. The Acolyte follows a crime spree that is occurring and pushing a Jedi Master to reconnect with a former padawan. Of course, this crime spree is triggered by some sinister forces that they may not be ready for. This spin-off is meant to take place about 100 years before Star Wars: Episode 1.
Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 2Paramount+Paramount+: June 6thCriminal Minds just keeps getting better and better, and after Season 1 of Evolution ended, fans couldn’t wait for the next installment. Season 2 will be busting back onto your TV screens and picking up on the BAU investigating GOLD STAR. While trying to prove the BAU is a necessity to the FBI, they’re also forced to try stopping their most sought-after serial killer in the show’s history.
Queenie Season 1HuluHulu: June 7thQueenie is a new show releasing this June and it is based on the best-selling novel by Candice Carty-Williams of the same name. Queenie (Dionne Brown) is a Jamaican-British woman living in London getting over a very messy break-up with her boyfriend. As we all do, Queenie finds comfort in all of the wrong things and tries to avoid her past. We all know how that typically turns out, so we can expect some great drama and growth from Queenie this summer.
Presumed Innocent Season 1Apple TV+Apple TV+: June 12thAnother new show on the radar is Presumed Innocent, a limited series based on the book by Scott Turow. Set in Chicago, a gruesome murder starts to unravel the Chicago Prosecuting Attorney’s office because the main suspect is Chief Deputy Prosecutor, Rusty Sabich (Jake Gyllenhaal). This show will get messy and it’s full of politics, family, drama, and obsession.
House of the Dragon Season 2MaxMax: June 16thSpin-offs can be a huge hit, which is the case for House of the Dragon, the Game of Thrones-inspired show. Season 2 picks up where the first season left off, which was right in the middle of chaos. One family claims their right to the throne by starting a war and another family must prepare for that war while amidst a huge familial loss. It’s tough to say what we can expect from this season since the show and its predecessor are full of twists and turns, so you’ll have to be ready when those episodes drop.
The Bear Season 3HuluHulu: June 27thYes, chef, we are so excited for season 3 of The Bear to be returning. This Emmy award-winning show picks up after Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) has transformed The Bear from just a local Chicago stand to an upscale dining experience. Tension is high and striving for perfection puts a lot of strain on the restaurant and the people who call it their home and workplace. Season 2 had some explosive and heart-warming moments, so we know what’s on the docket–we just can’t wait to see it.
Lady in the LakeApple TV+Apple TV+: July 19thAnother new show to look out for is Lady in the Lake, starring Natalie Portman. Portman plays Maddie Schwartz, a Jewish housewife who wants to try her chops as an investigative journalist. The show also follows Cleo Sherwood (Moses Ingram) as she provides for her family in Baltimore and the struggles of life for a Black family in Baltimore. Cleo is murdered and she and Maddie’s paths cross as Maddie tries to figure out what happened. Lady in the Lake sounds twisty and turny, so the intrigue is high!
Season 3 of Bridgerton dropped at exactly midnight pacific time and three a.m. Eastern time today (don’t ask how I know these exact numbers) and fans rushed to get a glimpse of part one of Colin and Penelope’s friends-turned-lovers romance. The show has done a fantastic job of showcasing the obsessive limerence of “yearning” and the themes of limerence when it comes to romance – a feeling of deep attachment, always and continuously desiring more from a relationship, but never quite getting it without much ordeal and anguish occurring first throughout its previous seasons. Now that the show has released the first part of its third season, it’s about time we take the all-knowing position of Lady Whistledown and look collectively at the most “scandalously” romantic and well-loved scenes of Bridgerton so far that capture obsessive yearning throughout all of the show’s seasons, including the new infamous carriage scene in Season 3.
The “bane of my existence” and the “object of my desires” speech between Kate and Anthony in Season 2.The nature of Kate and Anthony’s relationship is downright feral and romantic.No one could forget the unparalleled chemistry between Anthony Bridgerton and Kate Sharma, the older sister of his bride-to-be. In Season 3, we also get amazingly adorable cameos by the besotted couple that remind us why it’s such a healthy match – even after the honeymoon, it’s made clear they still long for each other. What made this connection so steamy and scandalous in previous seasons was not just the difficult circumstances regarding Anthony’s upcoming marriage to the sister of the woman he loved, but the absolutely mind-boggling feral nature of Anthony’s yearning for Kate. With their witty banter, the forbidden nature of their romance and Anthony’s desire to do anything just to get a whiff of Kate’s scent, it certainly made women raise their collective standards of what it means to be truly yearned for. Not only was Anthony basically making love to Kate through his prominently longing gazes throughout Season 2, he had some of the best romantic speeches in Bridgerton show history. Every Bridgerton lover is well-acquainted with the anguish of the following: “And it is not far enough! Do you think that there is a corner of this Earth that you could travel to far away enough to free me from this torment? I am a gentleman. My father raised me to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment I spend in your presence. You are the bane of my existence. And the object of all my desires.” Talk about the enemies to lovers trope executed perfectly. While you’re still waiting for that text back, don’t forget that in contrast, Anthony felt he needed to put a whole world between himself and the woman he loved just so he wouldn’t fall prey to temptation, and did everything possible just to capture just a whiff of her scent. Now that’s true devotion and worship.
The infamously salacious carriage scene between Penelope and Colin in Season 3.Penelope and Colin are the ultimate friends turned lovers.In Season 3, Colin returns as a more “sophisticated” and dashing version of himself, having explored 17 different cities and acquainting himself with all sorts of women abroad. Yet his enhanced charm seems to turn into a nervous longing whenever he is around his childhood friend, Penelope Featherington, who seems to be the only woman who’s truly captured his focus lately with her own glow-up. Viewers this season were most looking forward to the highly anticipated and long-awaited carriage scene which also occurred in the books. It did not disappoint, and while steamy, was likely not as explicit as viewers may have been expecting, creating a perfectly delicate balance between sultry and romantic. You’ll have to see it for yourself, but Penelope and Colin perfectly encapsulate the yearning of two friends who desire to be more, and Colin simply can’t help himself from adoring Penelope from afar throughout the four episodes provided, engaging in the same kind of infamous laser-focused “gazing” that Anthony did in Season 2 as he seemingly helps her gain the attention of other suitors. As Colin says to Penelope, “I have spent so long trying to be the man society expects me to be…but these past few weeks have been filled with confounding feelings. Feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. About that kiss. Feelings like dreaming of you when I am asleep. And in fact, preferring sleep because that is where I might find you.” Swoon! Talk about a confession that is basically a love letter in a speech.
Simon’s honest admission of what it means to truly love.Simon burns for Daphne.No one can forget Simon and Daphne’s infamous “I burn for you,” scene not too long after their irresistibly ravenous rendezvous at the garden, where he tells Daphne, “I cannot stop thinking of you. From the mornings you ease, to the evenings you quiet, to the dreams you inhabit, my thoughts of you never end. I am yours, Daphne. I have always been yours.” This is after he is honest about how in the beginning, there was attraction, but it only blossomed into love later on even after both recognized each other’s flaws. It seems all the men of Bridgerton are aways constantly and obsessively thinking of the women they love, and honestly, we’re all here for it. He also tells her, “To meet a beautiful woman is one thing, but to meet your best friend in the most beautiful of women is something entirely apart.” Chef’s kiss. Someone needs to send these Bridgerton speeches to the men in modern romance, because it’s clear Bridgerton has raised all of our standards of what it means to yearn and be yearned for.
If you want to stream some gritty crime dramas after Under the Bridge, here are the best of the best and where to watch them.
There’s no shortage of true crime series, but Hulu’s Under the Bridge is a special breed. It follows journalist and writer Rebecca Godfrey, portrayed by Riley Keough, as she uncovers the secrets of the girls living in Victoria, British Columbia. But this entwines her with an investigation into the missing person case, and later homicide, of 14-year-old Reena Virk.
As she reunites with her old flame, a cop dedicated to the case because of her own past (Oscar-nominated Lily Gladstone), their perspectives of what really happened and who to trust overlap and drift apart. Everyone has motive and no one is innocent. And now that the series is ending, we need something else to fill the Under the Bridge-sized hole in our hearts.
And if you haven’t yet finished watching Under the Bridge, catch the whole season on Hulu.
Shining Girls (2022)Apple TV+Just one season long, Apple TV+’s Shining Girls stars Elisabeth Moss as a journalist who was attacked and left for dead, not unlike Reena Virk. The difference, however, is that Moss’s Kirby survived to search for her attacker. She and reporter Dan Velazquez (Wagner Moura) team up to catch an elusive serial killer who may have been her assailant. While Shining Girls isn’t based on a true story, it elicits similar aspects to Under the Bridge with its journalistic and female perspective of finding an unknown killer. Watch Shining Girls on Apple TV+.
Killer Kids (2011 – 2015)LMNKiller Kids was a little-known Canadian documentary series that followed the stories of murderous kids and teens. Because Under the Bridge wasn’t just about Reena’s murder, but also her teenage killers, a series that follows and tries to understand kids with murderous instincts is an apt next step. Every episode in the four season show tackles a different case with young actors stepping in to reenact some of the tragic events.
I’ll Be Gone in the Dark (2020)HBOWhat happens when an average person helps solve a murder? Both Michelle McNamara and Under the Bridge’s Rebecca Godfrey have something in common. They’re writers with a journalistic lean who are just absolutely engulfed in the details of the case at hand. Of course, Michelle’s real-life research, which ultimately helped uncover the identity of the Golden State Killer, was compiled over the course of decades. Michelle’s celebrity husband, Patton Oswalt, helped produce the documentary to bring her story to a wider audience after her untimely death. Watch I’ll Be Gone in the Dark on Max.
The Sinner (2017 – 2021)USA NetworkWhile The Sinner might just seem like another police procedural, its premiere season evokes some of what made Under the Bridge so fascinating. Each season of Derek Simonds’ USA Network show follows police as they try to understand the motives of killers. In the first season, Harry Ambrose (Bill Pullman) delves into the past of Cora Tannetti (an Emmy-nominated performance from Jessica Biel) who stabbed a man to death. The female killer is rare in television and movies, so the show’s first season is a definite draw for Under the Bridge fans. Watch The Sinner on Netflix.
Unbelievable (2019)NetflixNetflix’s Unbelievable follows two female detectives as they chase a serial rapist, so it gives us a little hint of the relationship between Cam and Rebecca. But at Unbelievable’s center is a teenager, portrayed by Kaitlyn Dever, charged with lying about sexual assault. The true story helps us understand why women are often afraid to come forward with assault charges while managing to capture the dark joys of being a teenage girl. Watch Unbelievable on Netflix.
Never Have I Ever (2020 – 2023)NetflixIt may seem like an odd choice to throw a teen comedy in the mix, but Netflix’s Never Have I Ever gets at the heart of what led Under the Bridge’s Reena to leave her family in the first place. Teenage girls of color often face even more bullying than their peers. Although Devi handles her bullies with a chip on her shoulder and a smirk on her face, the cultural differences that separate her from her peers evoke a bit of what Reena may have been going through, but in a much happier light. Watch Never Have I Ever on Netflix.
Mean Girl Murders (2023 – )Investigation DiscoveryOf course, if what you loved about Under the Bridge was the dynamic between the young girls of Seven Oaks and their friends, then the closest thing to watch would be Mean Girl Murders. The docuseries is now in its second season on Investigation Discovery with each episode following the story of a different teenage girl situation that ended in murder. Most of us will be able to relate to the bullying and cliques, but when the girls take these actions to new heights, it proves to be fatal. Watch Mean Girl Murders on Max.
Are you ready for the next season of Doctor Who? To celebrate the new Doctor, we’re looking back at some of the age-old Gallifreyan’s best companions.
In a universe filled with genocidal cyborgs, fanatical religious orders, and killer alien statues, it’s safe to say that the titular Doctors of Doctor Who have faced their fair share of challenges over the years. From sword-fighting Sycorax gangsters in the skies over London to outwitting Cybermen on an alternative version of Earth, each Doctor on Doctor Who has proven themselves capable of standing up to the galaxy’s most significant threats time and time again.
Of course, one large reason the Doctor has emerged victorious from each of his interstellar battles has to do with the support of his loyal companions. Typically hailing from Earth and joining the Doctor on his travels, these companions make all the difference in the Doctor’s universe-spanning adventures, providing a humanistic counterbalance to everyone’s favorite time-traveling alien.
Sarah Jane SmithBBC OneThe fact that Sarah Jane Smith received her own spin-off show should tell viewers all they need to know about this character’s unrivaled popularity. Originally introduced as a companion for the Third Doctor way back in 1973, Sarah Jane went on to appear opposite five other Doctors over the next several decades. An intrepid investigative journalist capable of holding her own against a Dalek or rampaging Cyberman, Sarah Jane set the gold standard for what Doctor Who companions could and should look like. Rather than appearing as hapless tagalongs waiting to be kidnapped, Sarah Jane broke the mold for the traditional TV sidekick, proving herself every bit as tough, spirited, and intellectually gifted as the Doctor (which is certainly saying something).
Rose TylerBBC OneFew companions have brought out the humanistic qualities of the Doctor quite like Rose Tyler. The first companion of the rebooted Doctor Who series, Rose had some rather large shoes to fill when it came to matching her predecessors. Yet like Christopher Eccleston’s energetic Ninth Doctor, viewers couldn’t help but fall in love with Rose’s character from the moment she first appeared on-screen. A quirky and relatable London shop assistant, Rose’s relationship to the Tenth Doctor shined a light on an underexplored aspect about the Doctor’s personality, hinting at a mutual romantic attraction unseen in most other Doctor Who companions before or since.
Amy PondBBC OneIn contrast to the will-they, won’t-they romantic dynamic of the Tenth Doctor’s companions, fans tend to take note of Amy Pond’s far more platonic relationship to Matt Smith’s Eleventh Doctor. Establishing herself as an iron-willed singing telegram transplanted from Scotland to rural England, Amy provided a source of constant stability and support for her fellow companions in Doctor Who. Counterbalancing the Eleventh Doctor’s childish antics with an almost parental sense of responsibility, Amy’s stern stance on the Doctor’s actions allowed them both to grow into significantly more mature individuals over time. Add in Amy’s husband Rory Williams as a kind-natured if somewhat absent-minded fellow companion, and you have the making for a truly remarkable trio of interplanetary adventurers.
Donna NobleBBC OneIf Rose appeared as a potential romantic counterpart to the Tenth Doctor, then one might describe Donna Noble’s relationship to the Doctor as that of the bickering little sister. Without a doubt among the most hilarious of the Doctor’s many companions, every time Donna appeared on-screen, it wasn’t long before she was locked into some sort of verbal sparring match with David Tennant’s Converse-clad time traveler. An ordinary temp worker who initially balks at the chance to accompany the Tenth Doctor aboard the TARDIS, Donna’s humorous banter with the Doctor made her a companion viewers were clamoring to see more of following her initial 2006 debut.
Captain Jack HarknessBBC OneAs with his preceding companion in Sarah Jane Smith, Captain Jack Harkness’s incredible popularity eventually allowed him to star in his own distinct spin-off series: the far grittier and more adult-oriented Torchwood. But before he was leading a covert team of alien-fighting government agents, Jack Harkness captured audiences’ attention with his flirtatious, charismatic personality on Doctor Who. At once charming and roguish in both his personality and mysterious motives, Jack’s repeated appearances in Doctor Who never fails to gauge audiences’ interest, establishing this 51st-century con man as the Whovian equivalent to Han Solo or James Bond.
Clara OswaldBBC OneIn her earliest appearances on the show, fans couldn’t help but wonder who on earth the enigmatic Clara Oswald really was. Cropping up in different timelines but somehow always managing to meet with the same grim fate, Clara’s presence in Doctor Who formed a taut central mystery that even the Doctor struggled to figure out. Piquing our collective curiosity from the get-go, Clara only continued to solidify herself as a brash and colorful companion upon joining the Eleventh and Twelfth Doctor on their travels. Never afraid to speak her mind, Clara’s unique, somewhat confrontational personality made her an ideal counterpart to the similarly-tempered Doctors she found herself with.
Some of the best thriller movies have elements of dark romance embedded within – torturous love affairs turned into torment, titillating stories of betrayal, obsession, and secrecy. They also often feature sociopathic or psychopathic characters who are manipulative, conniving, and willing to do whatever it takes to meet their personal agendas. Here are the top best dark romance thriller movies featuring sociopathic characters that will chill your bones and make your heart skip a beat.
Cruel IntentionsSarah Michelle Geller stars as the sociopathic, seductive, and manipulative Kathryn Merteuil in Cruel Intentions, someone who loves exerting power and control over others. Kathryn places a bet with her stepbrother Sebastian Valmont, challenging him to “deflower” the innocent daughter of the school’s new headmaster, Annette Hargrove, who he eventually falls for in his pursuit of winning the bet. Kathryn seems to be in “love” with Sebastian (as much as her capacity for love allows) and grows jealous of his budding relationship with Annette even as she pushes it forward, but also attempts to destroy his life once she realizes she is losing her “possession” and ownership over him, and Sebastian truly does fall in love with Annette beyond the bet. She plays puppeteer in sabotaging the lives of her peers, including another young woman, Cecille, who was pursued by her ex-boyfriend, as revenge. Her lack of empathy and penchant for “performance” as a saintly person while hiding her true motives make for a chilling display of what it looks like when a manipulator holds all the reins.
Basic InstinctIn Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone plays the dazzling Catherine Tramell, a crime novelist who doubles as a millionaire murderer heiress whose crimes reflect her novels. Catherine embodies the thrill-seeking, sensation-seeking habits of psychopathic individuals. She manages to evade lie detector tests and questioning detectives using her cunning callousness and provocative seductiveness when she comes under the suspicion for the murder of a rock star musician, Johnny Boz. Catherine exhibits the thrill-seeking, sensation-seeking habits of psychopathic individuals, including sexual promiscuity, criminal activity, ruthlessness, pathological lying, and drug use. As detective Nick Curran (played by Michael Douglas) grows closer to Catherine romantically and begins an explosive sexual relationship with her, he uncovers horrifying truths about her patterns and history of former lovers and criminal “associates.” Basic Instinct is a stellar dark romance movie that exemplifies the traits and behaviors of female sociopaths and psychopaths, including the way they can seduce anyone and everyone to do their dirty work for them.
Killing Me Softly Killing Me Softly follows the love affair of Alice (played by Heather Graham), an American woman living in London, and mountain climber Adam (Joseph Fiennes) who appears to have an intriguing past. When Alice cheats on her boyfriend and has passionate sex with Adam after a chance run-in, she realizes what was missing in her relationship and leaves her boyfriend for Adam. Adam is said to be a hero who saved multiple people in an accident that took the life of his previous girlfriend, but his story has holes in it. He also has violent tendencies, as shown by how he beats a thief that tries to rob Alice, shortly before he proposes to her. Their marriage is tainted by a series of mysterious warnings from a shadowy figure that cause Alice to wonder who her husband truly is – but the true sociopath of the movie is an even more stunning revelation.
You Get MeTyler Hanson has just broken up with his girlfriend Alison. Enter Elizabeth “Holly” Viola (played by Bella Thorne) who he meets at a party. After a wild night, they begin a ravenous sexual affair that also causes them to bond more emotionally when they stay over at her house. A special rendezvous turns into nightmare, however, when Holly shows up as a new student at Tyler’s school and begins infiltrating his social group, keep tabs on his ex-girlfriend (who she later kidnaps), become buddies with his sister and even date his friend Gil. Holly is both sociopathic and somewhat psychotic in her obsession with her one-night-stand, and this is one dark “romance” you won’t want to miss.
50 Shades of Grey Jamie Dornan plays the cold, possessive, and sociopathic Christen Grey, a 27-year-old billionaire entrepreneur who is interviewed by Anastasia Steele (played by Dakota Johnson) and becomes interested in making her his “submissive.” Christian introduces Ana into a dark world of sadomasochistic pleasure (though some would argue that it is more pain than pleasure in this series, since much of it is more coercive than consensual), and basically tries to force her into being a submissive even though she is uncomfortable. Christian’s emotional unavailability, possessiveness, history of scorned lovers, and stalker-like ownership of Anastasia, and simultaneous unwillingness to engage in a real intimate relationship with her makes for a dark romance filled with red flags.
Fatal AttractionDan Gallagher is a married and successful lawyer in Manhattan who starts a dark romantic affair when he meets Alexandra Forrest, an editor for a publishing company. Alex becomes “obsessed” with him, engaging in many disturbing behaviors to keep him around (including kidnapping his daughter and killing and boiling his daughter’s pet rabbit). While some have argued that Alex may have more borderline traits and behaviors due to her self-harm and frantic attempts to escape abandonment, her tendencies toward violence and sadistic cruelty towards others and animals seems to suggest a combination of many malignant traits, including narcissism and psychopathy.
Red EyeRed Eye starts out like a rom-com but escalates into a beat-all-the-odds survivalist-like horror thriller. Rachel McAdams plays hotel manager Lisa Reisert, who meets the handsome Jackson Rippner (played by Cillian Murphy) at an airport bar en route to her flight to Miami. She and Jackson later find themselves seated next to each other on the flight, and viewers are led to believe this serendipitious meet-cute will evolve into a destined romance. Instead, (spoiler alert) Jackson turns out to be part of an assassination plot to murder Charles Keefe, the United States Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security, who is staying at Lisa’s hotel, and he is willing to do anything necessary to ensure she follows his instructions, including threatening her family’s life. The sudden and abrupt exposure of Jackson’s true sociopathic and manipulative character behind his good-boy charm leads to a dark “could have been” romance where Lisa is then forced to fight for her life using only her intelligence, instincts, and resourcefulness.
Gone Girl Gone Girl follows the dark and twisted love story of psychopathic Amy Dunne and her narcissistic husband, Nick, who engages in an affair with a younger student. What started out as a fairytale romance becomes a psychological thriller about a woman who is willing to do anything to get revenge. Amy creates her own “whodunnit,” faking her own disappearance and alleged murder to frame her cheating husband who she feels has taken advantage of her throughout their marriage. Her plot is carefully constructed, and she plays the damsel-in-distress victim, ruthlessly engaging in pity ploys and “treasure hunts” to retaliate and make her husband pay for his actions.
Grab the popcorn, your mom, and one of these movies perfect for her zodiac sign. Happy Mother’s Day!
It’s Mother’s Day weekend! While you’ll likely be celebrating the day with your mom in the classic ways, like getting her flowers or taking her out for brunch, sometimes all she really wants is to spend time with you. So why not grab all her favorite snacks and pop on one of these mom-coded movies? Just look for her zodiac sign for the perfect recommendation, as well as where to stream it.
Aries: Erin Brockovich (2000)Universal PicturesAries moms are badasses who do this whole thing with style. No one is more Aries-coded than Erin Brockovich, who took down an entire corporation while looking flawlessly sexy and holding one of her babies on her hip. This will definitely get your mom fired-up. Watch Erin Brockovich on Prime Video.
Taurus: Because I Said So (2007)Universal PicturesThis movie is dedicated to all the Taurus moms who were too bull-headed to bend the rules for you when you were growing up. She’ll definitely see herself in Diane Keaton as she has a rocky relationship with her daughter. And maybe she’ll see the error of her ways by the end of it. Watch Because I Said So on Prime Video.
Gemini: Lady Bird (2017)A24Both the mother and daughter are giving Gemini energy in this critically acclaimed Greta Gerwig movie. You’ll see yourself in the strong-willed and independent daughter while your mom will see herself in the long-suffering mother who’s sick of her antics. Watch Lady Bird on Tubi and Fandango at Home.
Cancer: Room (2015)A24Of the entire zodiac, your mom would be most likely to watch an emotionally devastating drama about the lengths a mom will go to for their child. Room is a tough watch, but Cancers are always up for the challenge. Just make sure to provide a few boxes of tissues and plenty of hugs after the credits roll. Watch Room on Max.
Leo: Barbie (2023)Warner Bros.Whether she sees herself as Barbie or as the original creator of the doll line, your mom will love the pro-women message of the movie. She may even want to dress up as Barbie this Halloween after watching it with you. Just don’t tell her she’s a year late to the trend. Watch Barbie on Max.
Virgo: Mother’s Day (2016)Open Road FilmsYours is the type of mom who likes to talk about how difficult it was to raise you. Maybe she’ll like Mother’s Day, which shows all the ways that someone could parent a child. It could be your little hint to her that she didn’t need to expect perfection all the time. Watch Mother’s Day on Max.
Libra: What To Expect When You’re Expecting (2012)LionsgateYour mom loves to reminisce about what it was like to be pregnant with you any chance she gets. She gets teary eyed about the childbirth–what a gift you were! So this is a perfect movie to watch since it’s all about being pregnant and having babies. Just be prepared to hear your birth story several times this weekend. Watch What To Expect When You’re Expecting on Netflix.
Scorpio: The Babadook (2014)Umbrella EntertainmentOkay, if anyone is down for a horror movie over Mother’s Day weekend, it’s a Scorpio. This one’s all about what an emotional toll it is to be a mom. If she’s down for something spooky, this critically acclaimed movie is your A+ choice. Watch The Babadook on Netflix and Hulu.
Sagittarius: Mother of the Bride (2024)NetflixThis movie is fresh and new and features a mom at her wits’ end when her daughter reveals she’s getting married in Hawaii in only a month. It’s got the adventure and warm locales your mom will love, plus a heaping helping of mother-daughter drama. Watch Mother of the Bride on Netflix.
Capricorn: Crazy Rich Asians (2018)Warner Bros.If you ever needed a low-key way of telling your mom that she was too hard on you when you were a kid–and maybe even as an adult–this is the movie for you. On the surface it’s a cute rom com, but deep down it’s actually a treatise on overbearing moms who need to take a chill pill. Watch Crazy Rich Asians on Max.
Aquarius: The Joy Luck Club (1993)Buena Vista PicturesAll about the differences between the lives of Chinese mothers and their Chinese-American daughters, this made-for-TV classic will tug at your mom’s heart-strings. Plus, as an often “emotionless” Aquarius, she may see herself in the tight-lipped moms of the film. Watch The Joy Luck Club on Hulu, Peacock, and Paramount+.
Pisces: Mamma Mia! (2008)Universal PicturesYour mom has a deep well of emotion that she doesn’t always share with people, but simultaneously showers you with love. If that doesn’t scream “Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia!” I don’t know what does. The mother-daughter relationship is warm and loving and perfect, just like you guys. Watch Mamma Mia! on Amazon Video.
Mother-daughter relationships can be complicated, but it is usually the complexity that makes these relationships so profound, beautiful, and important in the first place. Here are five movies that capture the complexity of mother-daughter relationships.
1. Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)Everything Everywhere All At Once | IMDbEvelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh) is on the verge of collapse. Her laundromat business is struggling to survive. Her marriage to her husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan) isn’t faring much better. She has trouble coping with her judgmental father Gong Gong (James Hong). Her relationship with her daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu) is tumultuous as well. Oh, and Evelyn and Waymond’s business is going through an IRS audit. So, yeah! Things are definitely not going great in Evelyn’s life.
During their supposed last-chance meeting with their auditor Deirdre, a multiverse rift occurs. Evelyn’s task is to save humanity by entering multiple universes and making the right choice in each one. It is within each universe Evelyn also gets to connect with the other lives she could have led.
2. The Joy Luck Club (1993)The Joy Luck Club | IMDbIn The Joy Luck Club, four older Chinese women who live in San Francisco meet regularly to play mahjong, eat, and tell the stories of their lives. When one member of The Joy Luck Club, Suyuan (Kieu Chinh), passes away, it is expected that her daughter June (Ming-Na Wen) will take her place at the mahjong table.
When June must go to China to deal with matters related to her mother’s passing, the remaining Joy Luck Club members and their daughters, all around the same age, gather the night before June departs. Here, the characters delve into the stories of their lives, reflecting on their pasts and how their histories converge with the present, particularly regarding their mother-daughter relationships. A truly beautiful adaptation of the novel of the same name written by Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club is a must-watch.
3. Lady Bird (2017)Lady Bird | IMDbDirected by Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird is the coming-of-age story of 17-year-old Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson (Saoirse Ronan). The year is 2002, and it is Lady Bird’s senior year. Lady Bird attends a Catholic high school and is desperate to escape her hometown of Sacramento.
Lady Bird figures her best way out of Northern California is to attend college out of state, despite the searing disapproval of her mother Marion (Laurie Metcalf). Lady Bird is a hilarious, poignant portrait of a young woman on the cusp of becoming who she wants to be, even if that means disappointing her mom.
4. Steel Magnolias (1989)Steel Magnolias | IMDbSteel Magolias is a heartwrenching drama that revolves around the vibrant Truvy’s Beauty Parlor, a beauty salon based in Louisana. There, a high-spirited, multigenerational group of women gather to gossip and share the stories of their lives.
Starring Sally Field as M’Lynn Eatenton, Julia Roberts as M’Lynn’s daughter Shelby, and Dolly Parton as Truvy, Steel Magonlias begins on Shelby’s wedding day. M’Lynn is a worried, slightly overbearing mother but with good intentions. When Shelby announces that she is pregnant the following Christmas, M’Lynn is terrified for her daughter’s health because Shelby has type 1 diabetes. M’Lynn is convinced Shelby’s body own’t be able to handle the stress of pregnancy.
A year-and-a-half later, the group of women find themselves at Shelby’s son’s first birthday party. It is then revealed that Shelby’s kidneys are beginning to fail as a result of her pregnancy. M’Lynn offers to donate a kidney to her daughter.
From there, Shelby undergoes surgery to save her life and the rest of the friend group waits to hear if the surgery was successful. Be warned, Steel Magonlias is a tear-jerker. Plenty of tissues are recommended.
5. Thirteen (2003)Thirteen | IMDbSmart but naive Tracy Freeland (Evan Rachel Wood) is a straight-A student who wants nothing more than to fit in at school, especially given her broken home life and increasing struggles with depression.
Eventually, Tracy ends up befriending the most popular girl in school Evie Zamora (Nikki Reed). With Evie, Tracy becomes a different person and becomes enveloped in Evie’s world of sex, drugs, and petty crime. As Tracy becomes closer and closer with Evie, Tracy’s relationship with her mother Melanie Freeland (Holly Hunter) is pushed to its limits.
Thirteen is a heartbreaking coming-of-age movie that explores the complexities of growing up, self-image, but mostly about the difficult but strong bond between Tracy and her mom.
Wes Ball’s Kingdom of the Planet of Apes questions if society will ever be able to find peace and harmony, or if it’s trapped in an endless cycle of atrocity.
War for the Planet of the Apes tore hearts out and put them in a blender as Caesar died, but the film also left a trail of optimism as the apes secured a haven to call home. In Wes Ball’s Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes–which takes place 300 years after the death of Caesar–the apes find their simian society in peril once again. This time, though, it’s all self-created. Much like all the films in the series serve as metaphors about humanity (or lack thereof), this latest installment also carries an important message; however, it’s a gut-punching reminder of how humankind appears to be doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
Starting a new cycle of oppression.In Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, the greatest threat comes from within–essentially, Proximus Caesar (Kevin Durand) and his followers. The megalomaniac monarch holds grand ambitions for the future of ape–with him on the throne, of course–and enslaves other clans into doing his bidding for him and under the guise of following Caesar’s teachings. Proximus claims to prescribe to the same ethos and belief system as his predecessor, though he warped Caesar’s message to serve his wants and desires. Unlike Caesar who didn’t believe in ape-on-ape violence–unless absolutely necessary as in the case of the dangerous Koba in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes–Proximus isn’t afraid to kill his brethren to simply get ahead.
It’s the oldest political trick in the book, where someone anoints themselves as the leader of a movement and claims to act in the name of the cause. However, when others look past the veneer and interrogate the integrity of the message, they find out this individual only serves their own motives. Proximus works as the archetype for fascist regimes who oppress their own people to advance their own needs. Despite claiming a better tomorrow, there’s a clear distinction, becoming a master and slave dynamic where the one who holds power lives in the lap of luxury while their followers sleep with only fear in their stomachs. Even though Proximus is defeated at the end of the film and plummets to his death after a skirmish with the eagles, the question remains: Will he be the last one to try such tactics? Unlikely.
The constant strive for dominance.20th Century StudiosThroughout the recent Planet of the Apes movies, it’s become clear that humans have continued to devolve, establishing apes as the dominant species on Earth. In Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Mae (Freya Allen) demonstrates there’s a plan to get humans back on top. While Noa (Owen Teague) understands why Mae and her species would want to achieve this goal, he also questions what would happen to apes if humans were to become successful.
When he, Soona (Lydia Peckham), and Anaya (Travis Jeffery) find a storybook from the past, they see that apes were caged in zoos. For Noa, he ponders if this is the world that humans want to have back again – one where apes have their freedom taken away and are kept subservient. Ultimately, his concerns prove to be valid as Mae sets off the explosives and leaves Noa and the others to escape the bunker on their own.
Mae’s actions demonstrate a concerning us-versus-them mentality that’s caused great division throughout human history. Instead of embracing differences and finding common ground and mutual respect, it becomes a scramble for superiority and the need to be right. The desire to be dominant overshadows all common sense and the blatant lesson that this cycle will only repeat itself. That is, unless it’s stopped in its tracks. And the only way this is possible is if more brave people are prepared to say enough is enough and insist on love conquering hate and fear. It’s no good to only want to break the cycle; they need to do it.
Is there the ability to coexist?Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes provides a lot of food for thought by the time the credits roll. With the dissension among apes, one has to wonder if the different clans will be able to live in peace and harmony–or if the next Proximus is lurking around the corner.
At the same time, there’s a big question mark about humans and if their one step forward in the evolution game will force the apes backward. There are numerous power plays taking place in this world between apes and apes, humans and apes, and don’t bet against humans and humans at some point, too. But what’s the endgame here? Is one species doomed to extinction or can everyone coexist in a fair and balanced ecosystem?
While Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes doesn’t provide a definitive answer to the question of possible coexistence, it leaves a glimmer of hope in the end. Noa doesn’t react in anger when he sees Mae once again, even though she holds a gun behind her back. Instead, he’s reminded of Caesar’s quest for empathy and kindness among ape and human, and he takes the opportunity to demonstrate this to Mae. He opens his heart and shows compassion in what’s the first step to escaping from society’s hellish loop of pain and suffering.
The term “black cat energy” has recently made waves on social media as people noticed a specific dynamic between an unbothered, empowered, confident woman and a doting “golden retriever” man who is drawn to her and will do anything to please her, as well as the more unnatural, people-pleasing “golden retriever” energy some women may approach dating with. But what is “black cat energy,” and how can you harness it to improve your dating and love life, attracting only high-quality partners while warding off toxic and narcissistic manipulators? Here are six behaviors you may exhibit if you have empowered “black cat energy” in your dating life.They create distance between themselves and a dating partner.Women with unbothered energy treat a potential dating partner like a possible liability, not an automatic benefit, because they know from deep within that co-mingling their lives with another person (especially a potentially toxic person) will take away time and energy from themselves, and they are not willing to make such a sacrifice unless a dating partner comes correct and stays correct long-term. They don’t allow their emotions for anyone to dictate their dating decisions and are ready to opt out of the relationship at any point their intuition warns them or their dating partner trespasses their boundaries and falls deep below their standards of being treated with the utmost respect. This differentiates the behavior of high-value women from other women who are desperate for partnership, because they are driven by their own standards and desires, not a need to please others or have a man just to say they have a relationship. To a woman like this, having just “any” man or relationship is not an accomplishment – their partners must be high-quality, or they’re better off alone. Therefore, they are less likely to try to make it work with a partner that exhibits red flags. Women with this unbothered, confident and dignified energy not only create space and time away from their significant other and dating partners, but they also actively embrace this space because they want to live their own independent lives. Naturally, this draws high-quality partners to chase them, and frustrates toxic, entitled people who want to consume her schedule. But for these women, this is not a game or a form of manipulation to get a man to chase them – it is simply their ingrained mindset and their default way of life.
They never approach relationships from the standpoint of fear of losing a man. They fear losing themselves and their dignity much more. For a woman with this kind of captivating, unbothered energy, they do not look at relationships and dating from a place of fear but rather detached curiosity. They see dating more practically in the form of cost-benefits analysis of whether this relationship is actually fulfilling and adding value to their lives or detracting from it and causing stress. Their biggest fear is not in losing a man or relationship, but rather, losing themselves and their self-respect and dignity. That is why it is more difficult for a manipulative narcissist or toxic person to infiltrate such a woman’s life without facing consequences. This is not a woman who will allow you to escape accountability, and she isn’t led by the fear of losing someone who does not truly love or respect her. She won’t send long paragraphs pleading and begging a man to treat her well, which is exactly the type of attention narcissists and toxic people prey on – once she has reached this empowered state, she will begin speaking through her actions detaching from the relationship instead.
They play by their own rules and don’t submit to the “authority” of the man they’re dating. They speak through their actions more than words. They rely on their own inner authority and power, so it’s harder for a manipulator to take advantage of them.Women with femme fatale “black cat energy” do not fall for tactics like love bombing as easily because they already appreciate and validate themselves. Any “validation” a dating partner has to offer is just a cherry on top, and her dating partners have to continue to offer value in order to stay in her life, as they do not trust people easily. Much like a cat, they will be alarmed at sudden incoming affection and dart away – you have to actually earn their respect and win their trust over time for them to even entertain you. These women cannot be controlled or coerced into lowering their standards. In dating, it’s important not to settle for low-effort dates, last-minute texts, any kind of ghosting or mixed signals. “Black cat energy” women have little time for mind games and will become easily bored with a dating partner who does not treat them the way they deserve to be treated. They will withdraw as soon as their dating partner begins withholding attention and affection, and they’re not afraid to pursue other options in dating.
They do what benefits them and not what pleases a man. A woman who has more “golden retriever energy” (still can’t believe I wrote that sentence) is eager to please and will put the needs of their dating partners above their own, often making huge sacrifices just to maintain a relationship. It may seem like a silly analogy, but it’s actually pretty apt when you think about how many women are often socialized to bend over backwards trying to cater to their partners, only to feel betrayed when their partner does not reciprocate. Instead, women who have adopted “black cat energy” know that the world is already rigged against women socioculturally speaking, so they don’t feel the need to go overboard trying to benefit those who already have many advantages in this world. They operate from the viewpoint that they do not owe their dating partners anything, especially if their partners have fallen short in pleasing them. They think about their own needs very carefully and do what is best for them – whether that means declining a date that is not suitable, not calling back a dating partner at an inconvenient time, or only making plans when she is well rested. As a result, her dating partners respect her time more and know they have to impress her in order to get her attention.
They “worship” and value themselves and put themselves on a pedestal, so others feel compelled to dote on them. A femme fatale woman with “black cat” energy knows that if anyone should be put on a pedestal, it should be her, not a stranger she’s dating. This is kryptonite to any narcissist in the dating world who hopes that by idealizing her she will make him his entire world in turn. Unlike the pick-me woman, she won’t abandon her friends, loved ones, or dreams for a man. She prioritizes herself and puts herself first. This comes from a place of grounded self-confidence, not hubris. Narcissistic and toxic partners who seek to control this type of woman will be left sorely disappointed. Even the most persuasive of narcissists, even if they love a challenge, will eventually reveal their true entitled selves when they cannot meet her standards, because they’re not capable of making the investment she deserves. She knows her worth and is independent enough to pursue her own goals, ambitions, friendships, and dreams outside of romantic relationships. She invests in herself. This makes her an intriguing catch – someone who is multifaceted and fascinating, who does not rely on someone else to complete her. As a result, high-quality men are drawn to her and want to be part of her exciting life, and the wrong men will struggle to keep up. The right men will want to meet her standards and respect her boundaries long-term, while toxic partners will prove exactly why they are not worthy of her.
If you consult Survivor superfans (or trawl the Survivor subreddit), you’ve likely heard the opinion that the new era of Survivor, starting with Season 41, has lacked a certain something. From the never-changing backdrop of Fiji to the lack of fun themes of Survivors past, to the same challenges and “twists” over and over and over, the show has definitely gotten stale. Not to mention a homogenous cast of mostly 20- and 30-somethings when the survivors used to be so diverse. And yet, even though the current Season 46 has all those points above, it’s become not only the most frustrating season of the new era, but also the most entertaining. I simultaneously yell at the screen and can’t wait for the next week’s episode. But why is that? It’s all thanks to casting.
Just because there aren’t any villains doesn’t stop people from hating each other.On Survivor alum Rob Cesternino’s podcast, Rob Has a Podcast, host and executive producer Jeff Probst said what everyone was already thinking: They aren’t casting villains anymore. Jeff said:
“In the hands of somebody else, I can tell you, for sure, there would be more ‘villains,’ more negativity, more yelling at each other. It’s just not going to happen when I’m part of the show. I’m just not interested in it. There’s too many other things we could do and still have fun.”
Though that’s a controversial change from the villain eras of the past (though, I personally am happy we’ll never have another Russell Hantz), people still surprise each other with how out of control they can get once they arrive on the islands of Fiji.
CBSMuch of the frustration for many viewers is just how out-there the cast has been this season, all while never getting voted out. Let’s run down a few bullet points:
- Q–who has pissed everyone off so thoroughly by flip flopping, trying to control everyone’s game, and unsuccessfully asking to get voted off–still hasn’t managed to get voted off. And every confessional features his wide grin at still being left in the game.
- Liz–the self-professed millionaire who’s allergic to everything and who rightfully flips to demon mode when people don’t bring her on food-based rewards.
- Venus–whose Mean Girls-esque attitude has found her gloating about moves that she was never actually in charge of.
And yet…these self-made “villains” still manage to make for good TV. Not only that, but many fans have found moments in recent episodes where they liked the three above despite all the hijinks. Because they’re real people, and few are fully evil on or off the island.
The strategy is unprecedented.CBSPerhaps it’s thanks to the survivors of Season 46 being familiar with the formula of the new era that has made them wild out. Alliances? Who needs them? Blindsides? Every time. Agreeing to step out of a challenge so everyone can get rice? No thanks.
Of course the most maddening and equally entertaining strategy–or lack thereof–from this season has been the immunity idols. Not a single person has actually played an idol. In fact, four people have gone home with idols in their pockets and (spoiler for last night’s episode), that includes three people in a row. Nothing gets a Survivor Superfan yelling at the screen more than people never learning from the mistakes of the people who came before them.
But there’s one strategy they still need to abandon.You might wonder why all these supposed new era “villains” aren’t getting voted out. Yeah, me too. But it can be chalked up to an age-old Survivor strategy that really needs to be abandoned: Bringing a goat to the Final Tribal Council.
It happens almost every season. When people are thinking of who to vote out post-merge, their strategy goes from weak links to the strongest competitors. Their reasoning is that, if they’re in the final three with two duds, it’ll be easier to win. That might have been true in the past, but that was proven an outdated strategy thanks to Gabler’s win on Season 43. The man who just sat on the sidelines and who no one thought would win broke the odds and took home the million (only to be swiftly donated to charity). Gabler is proof that the goats have just as much–if not more–of a chance of winning the whole game. People like Maria who insist on bringing players like Q and Liz to the end may just find themselves missing out on the money.
And yet, with all of the above, the frustration of the viewers melts into entertainment and suddenly you’re like Jeff Probst at the last two tribal councils: Sitting back and watching the island burn while you munch on popcorn and licorice.
Relationships are all about commitment, trust, and understanding…most of the time, anyways. While some couples maintain a healthy, romantic attachment to one another, other romantic partnerships leave you scratching your head, wondering why on earth they’re together in the first place. Like most couples in the real world, this phenomenon also directly applies to television couples, be it in the form of The Office’s Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard or Marge and Homer of The Simpsons.
Constantly bickering at each other from one episode to the next, these couples provide a refreshingly hilarious take on the traditional romantic duo, leaving audience members in stitches with their abnormal–often confrontational–relationships with one another.
Homer and Marge SimpsonFoxTruthfully, most of the dysfunctional aspects of Homer and Marge Simpsons’ marriage stems from Homer’s side of the relationship. While Marge is frequently shown to be a doting pillar of support for her rambunctious family, Homer appears more concerned with shrugging away any responsibility that comes his way. Though he provides for his family through his soul-crushing job at the nuclear power plant, Homer’s immature misadventures and alcohol-fueled escapades often take a toll on his marriage with Marge, testing her patience time and time again.
Al and Peg BundyFoxWhile there’s no question that Al and Peg Bundy love their family, viewers have to look incredibly hard to see evidence of this fact (almost to the point of having to rely on a magnifying glass). Former high school sweethearts-turned-unhappily married spouses, Al and Peg are the type to continuously blame their problems in life on one another. Frequently mocking each other’s laziness, low income wages, and frivolous spending habits, Al and Peg never failed to criticize their partner whenever an opportunity presented itself.
Frank and Estelle CostanzaNBCDeep down, it’s safe to assume that every young couple fears they’ll one day end up like Frank and Estelle Costanza. The unhinged parents of Seinfeld’s anxiety-riddled George, Frank and Estelle’s primary means of communication involves screaming at one another in explosive bursts of anger. Endlessly annoyed by one another’s mere presence, the Costanzas seem to harbor little to any romantic feelings for each other, routinely complaining about their spouse’s antics to anyone unlucky enough to be in ear shot.
Kelly Kapoor and Ryan HowardNBCQuite possibly the most toxic couple ever featured on television, nothing about Kelly Kapoor and Ryan Howard’s relationship works well on paper. Office coworkers who regularly fight, break up, and then inevitably come back together again, Kelly and Ryan’s main issue is their abundance of similarities. With each person possessing a planet-sized ego–prioritizing their own needs at the expense of everyone else’s–Kelly and Ryan’s selfish behavior knows almost no bounds. Running amuck in Dunder Mifflin Scranton’s annex, these two self-centered narcissists have toyed with each other’s heads through a variety of manipulative mind games, from faking pregnancies to deliberately sabotaging one another’s relationships with other, better partners.
Michael Kelso and Jackie BurkhartFoxTrue fans might have wanted Jackie to conclude That ‘70s Show in the arms of her on-again, off-again boyfriend Hyde, but it’s no surprise that Mila Kunis’s shrill prima donna ultimately ended up with Michael Kelso. Beginning the series as a teenage couple whose relationship was built solely off of their superficial good looks, Kelso and Jackie always seemed to drift back towards each other whenever their last romance inevitably fizzled out. Between Kelso’s absent-minded immaturity and Jackie’s constant self-centeredness, it only seemed a matter of time before these two shallow love-birds reunited to start a family (something that soon came to pass with That ‘90s Show).
Barney Stinson and Robin ScherbatskyCBSIn some ways, Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky were made for each other, as seen through their distinct view of love and skepticism at traditional relationships. But at the end of the day, their dissimilarities ultimately won out, preventing How I Met Your Mother’s most chaotic couple from ever winding up together. While they might sit comfortably back and enjoy a good cigar or aged whiskey, Barney and Robin’s eventful relationship came with far more bumpy moments than it did genuinely uplifting ones–something only further exacerbated by Barney’s constant womanizing and repeated lies to Robin.
Ron Swanson and Tammy IINBCCompared to most other couples in Parks and Recreation, Ron Swanson and Tammy II almost make April and Andy look like a fully-functional adult couple. Former spouses-turned-bitter enemies, few people have earned Ron’s ire quite like his second ex-wife, the monstrous Tammy II. A seductive, manipulative, sociopathic librarian constantly attempting to destroy Ron’s life, Tammy II has been described in a variety of colorful terms by Ron himself, including “monstrous parasite,” “conniving and ruthless,” and “sewer-dwelling gutter witch.” As unhealthy as their relationship might be, Tammy II’s repeated appearances never fail to garner a chuckle from viewers, even as she uses every nefarious trick in the book to ruin Ron’s happiness.
A little bit of action and a whole lot of love? These are the best action rom coms and where to stream them.
Seamlessly blending the action stereotypical “bros” love with romance that’ll make your heart beat faster, action rom coms bridge the gap so they can be loved by a wide audience. We’re definitely seeing that with new Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt movie, The Fall Guy. Boasting an 82% Rotten Tomatoes rating and 87% audience score, it’s clearly a hit. Who wouldn’t fall for a hilarious stuntman as he fights across Hollywood and wins the heart of the woman he loves? If you watched The Fall Guy and thought to yourself, “I need more,” you’re in luck. These are the 7 best action rom coms and where to stream them:
Romancing The Stone20th Century FoxJoan Wilder writes adventure romance novels and she’s made quite a name for herself. You’d think she’s had a wild life herself, but she’s actually just a lonely cat lady. But when her sister gets abducted in Colombia, she goes out to help her. Adventurer Jack Colton will reluctantly help her on her quest whether he likes it or not. This is a forgotten classic that holds up decades later. Watch Romancing the Stone on Amazon Video.
Miss CongenialityWarner Bros.To get back in the good graces of her superiors, FBI agent Gracie Hart goes undercover in the Miss United States pageant to stop a terrorist attack. This classic gave us some great bangers when it comes to quotes, especially with Heather Burns hilarious answer to what her perfect date would be. “I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.” Watch Miss Congeniality on Amazon Video.
The Lost CityParamount PicturesAdventure romance author Loretta Sage gets abducted and sent to a remote tropical island by a crazed billionaire. Her cover model vows to rescue her, even if he doesn’t necessarily have the skills. If you’re thinking this sounds a lot like Romancing the Stone, you’re not alone. Still, it’s different enough–and very funny and cute–that both movies deserve spots on this list. Watch The Lost City on Hulu and Paramount+.
The Bounty HunterSony PicturesWhat do you do when you’re a bounty hunter and your ex-wife skips out on her bond hearing? Attempt to apprehend her, of course. If you want to see action and a fair bit of chemistry between Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, this is a good choice–especially if you love the enemies-to-lovers dynamic. Watch The Bounty Hunter on Hulu.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The WorldUniversal PicturesScott Pilgrim is in love with quirky “manic pixie dream girl” Ramona Flowers, but if he wants to be with her, he has to battle her seven evil exes. Based on a graphic novel series, this movie seamlessly delivers comic book-style action, video game references, and a whole lot of cute Millennial-core romance. Watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World on Max.
Mr. RightFocus WorldIt’s so nice to have an intimate connection with someone. It’s even better when one of you is a former CIA agent and the other has a similar innate ability to catch knives thrown at their face at lightspeed. This cute, silly, and underrated action rom com is proof that there’s someone for everyone. Watch Mr. Right on Amazon Video.
Date Night20th Century FoxFeeling like their marriage has become stagnant, Phil and Claire set out for a dinner at a trendy restaurant. But when they unwittingly steal the reservation of a couple who are embroiled in crime and intrigue, they find themselves accidentally thrust into a night of action they never anticipated. Watch Date Night on Max.
A researcher specializing in narcissism reveals the surprising red flag phrases toxic and narcissistic people can use on dating apps. These phrases may seem subtle, but they communicate volumes about a person’s character, sense of entitlement, and potential lack of empathy.
“Let’s go out now.”Women who’ve been on dating apps often share the following experience: they match with a man whose first message to them urgently declares they should go on a date with them, right away. This person then proceeds to tell them that they like to get to know their dates “in person” and want to avoid being pen-pals. Red flags galore! This is the texting equivalent of sex without any foreplay. While no one wants to be messaging back and forth for weeks before meeting up, telling someone they “need” to meet them without even having a proper conversation or a vetting Facetime call communicates three things: this person doesn’t care about your sense of safety or empathize with the dangers women face on a daily basis and feels entitled to make you feel unsafe due to what they want; they don’t want to put the effort in to even have a conversation with you (less than the bare minimum), and they may even be predatory and aware that if they do engage in a conversation with you, you will notice something amiss – that is why they try to rush and fast-forward the meeting. Watch out for heavily persistent people who continue to pressure you into going out with them even when you’ve stated your boundaries.
“I want someone who doesn’t take themselves so seriously. I don’t want any drama.”If your dating match has this listed on their dating profile, do not take it as a light-hearted cue that he just wants to live, laugh, and love with you forever. Instead, think about why someone would indicate this on their profile. Marriage, dating, childrearing, partnership, romance – this is all very serious business when you think about it. Usually, it’s the most drama-seeking individuals who create chaos in the lives of others who don’t want people who take their heinous transgressions “seriously” enough to call out their red flags.
“Want to meet up for a walk/a hike/a coffee?”Men and women, generally speaking, view these types of dates very differently. On average, many men on dating apps see coffee as a cheap way to entertain multiple options, while saving money to take out the “dream woman” they truly want to impress. They disguise hike and walk dates as outdoorsy adventures that are a cheap and low-effort way to get to know and even hook up with many women – and some actually use these secluded dates for more sinister purposes (so for your own safety, I would highly recommend staying away from hike or walk dates). Some women will swear by coffee dates because they believe it’s the safest, get-out-of-jail-free option should the date fail to impress, or turns out to be super creepy and entitled – this is a fair concern, but unfortunately, even a quick date doesn’t shield you from creepy entitlement. If a man is the one asking you for these types of dates, not you, consider it a potential red flag. Remember, there are several options besides wasting energy getting coffee with someone who is likely going to turn out to be low-effort: you can still meet up for lunch, brunch, afternoon tea, go to a nice lounge with cocktails and appetizers (opting for a non-alcoholic beverage if that better suits you), a live music or jazz venue, or if you’re more certain you’ll like the person and have vetted them through FaceTime, a full dinner and meet-cute. You are likely to attract far more serious candidates who want to invest in you and actually want to romance you this way – or, at the very least, respects the time, effort, and risk you undergo as a woman meeting up with a stranger every time you go on a date. Remember: if you’re dating someone who is already low-effort in the beginning, this pattern will only worsen over time.
“Please have a sense of humor.”It is usually the most humorless people who rely on cruelty and chronic sarcasm (as opposed to using sarcasm occasionally as a added spice to their jokes) to bully others that write such a phrase on dating apps. According to research, chronic belittling sarcasm can even be a potential red flag of psychopathic traits. Ask yourself why this person feels the need to present anyone who doesn’t find them funny as “humorless,” and consider it a red flag foreshadowing they may be showing you in due time that their comedy is dependent on demeaning others.
“So what do you think about me or (insert anything from their dating profile)?”If a person on a dating app fails to ask you any questions about yourself and only focuses on their own profile and what you think of them, run. At the very least you’re communicating with someone self-centered, and in the worst-case scenario, you’re about to become entangled with a narcissist who’s going to be solely focused on getting their own needs met while foregoing yours.
“I am rarely on here. Add me on Snapchat/Instagram.”If someone cannot even handle messaging on a dating app, what makes you think they would put the time and effort into getting to know you? It is quite presumptuous to place such a request to strangers to “follow” them on social media. Regardless, this is actually a tactic many manipulators use to get your personal information early on. Alternatively, they may ask you for your social media handles early on without even asking you out on a date, keeping you in limbo as part of their social media “harem.” If you do “follow” them and take the bait, they will use it to gather information on who you are (while this can help women vet potential dates for safety purposes if needed, a woman sending a man her personal social media isn’t usually as necessary). Apart from being low-effort and lazy, this phrase can indicate a sense of entitlement from a partner to “get to know you” without putting in any work to do so.
“Me with my best friend! She’s like a sister to me.”This one may be a bit more niche, but if a man is showing off a shady close female friend or a harem of female friends on their dating profile pictures and declaring they’re like a “sister” to them, they’re usually already setting up a competition and ready to gaslight you about it if you feel uncomfortable. A wealth of research indicates that men are more likely than women to have interest in their opposite-sex friends. Those with psychopathic and narcissistic traits tend to make others jealous on purpose for power and control according to studies. Knowing this, it can be helpful to consider this a tentative red flag – the exception being that sometimes two people really are platonic friends and not attracted to one another, but if they’re showing them off on a dating app, it certainly tells you there may be more reason to be cautious. There’s no real reason someone would need to show off their close “friendships” with other women on dating apps unless they were trying to “flaunt” their supposed desirability or even indicate that in order to date them you must tolerate what could be a shady “friendship.” Stay wary.
Are you ready for Bridgerton Season 3, coming to Netflix on May 16?
If you’re anything like me, you’re getting hyped for the new season of Bridgerton. While the couples of the previous two seasons have had plenty of chemistry (especially Kate and Anthony of Season 2), nothing can compare to the hot chemistry rolling off of the trailer for Season 3’s Penelope and Colin. Maybe it’s the fact that actors Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton have such great off-screen chemistry. (Have you seen them together in press interviews lately? We all deserve someone who looks at us like that.)
As you may know, Season 3 of Bridgerton is based on the the fourth novel in Julia Quinn’s series: Romancing Mister Bridgerton. Although previous seasons remained fairly faithful to the original source material (even with the questionable plot from the first season), Bridgerton Season 3 has taken one important swerve from the book–and we’re thrilled.
Penelope’s Weight Loss in Romancing Mister BridgertonRomancing Mister Bridgerton by Julia QuinnPenelope is a main character throughout the Bridgerton series, even before Romancing Mister Bridgerton. Often described as “pudgy” and having “baby fat,” her plus size characterization followed her from book to book. And considering that she was seen as a bit of a villain earlier in the series, these descriptions of her fit the unfortunate “fat villain” trope. Characters who are described as being larger than the rest of the cast are often given unseemly personalities to go along with the size.
The hope, of course, is that, by the time Penelope gets her own book, her size wouldn’t be an issue. She deserves love regardless of her weight, right? Alas, Julia Quinn got around this by having Penelope lose weight when it came time for her to find true love. In the first chapter of Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the author writes:
It helped that she’d lost nearly two stone and could now call herself “pleasantly rounded” rather than “a hideous pudge.” She was still nowhere near the slender ideal of womanhood that ruled the day, but at least she’d changed enough to warrant the purchase of a completely new wardrobe.
Two stone is nearly 30 pounds–a significant amount of weight for anyone to lose. And so begins a story in which Penelope finally wins the heart of longtime friend Colin Bridgerton. Now that she’s lighter, he sees her as a romantic possibility.
Of course, this kind of plot isn’t exactly to be celebrated. Where’s the idea that you deserve love no matter your size? Instead, the book seems to show that, if you want to be seen as human, you need to look as close to everyone else as possible–an idea that doesn’t sit right with many people of a modern audience. Luckily for all of us, though, that part of the plot doesn’t seem to have made its way to the screen.
Glow-Ups Without Noticeable Weight LossFirst, let me be upfront that I, the author of this article, am fat. Not even “pleasantly rounded” as Julia Quinn might describe. Normally I wouldn’t comment on anyone’s body, whether they’re a public figure or not, but, in showing how Nicola Coughlan looks as Penelope from Season 1 to Season 3 I’m not criticizing her size or guessing how much she weighs. I’m celebrating her. Because…I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the woman is gorgeous. Moving on…
NetflixThe theme of Netflix’s version of the story, at least if the trailer is to be believed, is the almighty glow-up. Rather than a one-sided makeover like everyone’s favorite 1999 rom com, She’s All That, both main characters of Bridgerton Season 3 are getting a glow-up. But, rather than the dreaded weight loss that could have happened to Nicola Coughlan’s Penelope, she looks just about the same weight–but so much better. The hair, the makeup, the outfits, she’s like a brand new person.
And Luke Newton’ Colin, too. He’s also gotten his own movie-magic-makeover, thanks again to the hair, makeup, and costume departments. This is nothing new, of course. Jonathan Bailey’s Anthony Bridgerton got a similar glow-up for Season 2.
We’re just thankful that, at the end of the day, the weight loss plot was ditched for the Netflix adaptation. Nicola Coughlan is gorgeous as she is, and if she–and Penelope, too–doesn’t deserve true love, then no one does.
Catch part one of Bridgerton Season 3 on Netflix on May 16, 2024. And if you want to read a fun plus size romance while you wait, check out my list.
Sex and the City which premiered in 1998 was certainly ahead of its time when it came to capturing the experience of many women in dating, romance, and sex. Even today, there are many legendary quotes and situations from the show that ring even more true in the modern dating world. See if these resonate with you, and don’t forget to binge-watch Sex and the City now that it’s available for streaming on Netflix.
“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”Now that modern women are decentering dating from their lives and sticking to their standards, it’s become an era of freedom, self-love, and liberation. Women have left dating apps and casual hookup culture en masse to pursue more organic real-life connections or peaceful solitude. Being single is no longer as stigmatized – it is becoming more and more prioritized to pursue before a woman chooses to settle down, if at all, and has become an exciting era of self-discovery to ensure one is not settling for less when choosing a partner.
“There is a good way to break up with someone, and it doesn’t include a Post-It!”Replace post-it note with a lack of text message responses after a period of love bombing, and you’ve got yourself a modern dating climate of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and a litter of false promises – or perhaps a man watching your Instagram story silently for the next eighty-four years. While we don’t get break-ups like the one Carrie had with Berger as frequently nowadays, women today still have to deal with mishaps, uncertainty, upheavals and miscommunication over modern technology that are quite cumbersome in the realm of romance.
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”This quote encapsulates the different types of women in the modern dating world. It includes people who are willing to settle down for anyone so long as they’re settling, people who have actually found a compatible mate, and the eternal romantics with high standards who don’t tend to settle at all until they’ve found “the one.” In a world where low-effort dates and emotional unavailability are becoming more and more normalized, it’s important for modern women to stick to their boundaries and standards.
“I don’t understand why women are so obsessed with getting married? I mean married people just want to be single again, if you’re single, the world is your smorgasbord.” + “You know marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending, just an ending.”The foreshadowing is so real in these two quotes. Who would have thought that years later, many women would be abandoning the idea of marriage altogether? Marriage as a social construct has been put under the critical lens this past decade, especially given its shortcomings for women and the larger amount of domestic and emotional labor women are expected to put up with as they become wives – something they no longer need to do for survival. Research has indicated that the happiness of married people doesn’t appear to reliably increase over time whereas the happiness of single people does, and that psychological distress can actually increase for women after marriage.
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.”Who knew Sex and the City could offer so much insight about the dating experiences of women in one single sentence? Many women have relayed horror stories about the modern dating world – whether getting manipulated by the so-called “nice guys” or the overt con artist “bad boy” types. The orgasm gap in casual encounters has been scientifically studied, and lackluster lovers abound. Many women feel they really have to dig deep these days to find a high-quality lover, let alone a high-quality partner.
“It’s so interesting, you can tell a man I hate you and you’ll have the best sex of your life, but tell him I love you, and you’ll probably never see him again.”This quote perfectly captures the throes of hookup culture and hot-and-cold relationships. Sexually charged relationships can begin and be filled with plenty of passion, flirty banter, and chaos, but fulfilling, soul-nourishing relationships in the dating world can be rarer to find. For many, the chase and pursuit keeps the romance alive – but once a woman feels sufficiently invested in a relationship, she often feels her emotionally unavailable romantic partners can suddenly lose interest.
“I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it.”Miranda Hobbes was so on point with the different ways successful men and women were treated in the dating world. Research indicates that even today, men on average tend to feel threatened by successful women. Not much has changed – if anything, these issues have exacerbated. As women get increasingly more ambitious and successful, their male counterparts often fall short in offering authentic support, and some may even feel emasculated. As a result, successful women often have a harder time navigating the modern dating world.
“The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the “you” you love, well, that’s just fabulous.” This is a quote for the ages, and sadly Carrie Bradshaw did not follow her own advice given the many chances she gave to Mr. Big. However, that doesn’t mean viewers of Sex and the City can’t take this quote and apply it to their own lives. A great partner should bring value to your life and provide the cherry on top – they should not be the center of one’s existence.
“Maybe we can be each other’s soul mates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”This is another instance where it would have been nice if Carrie actually followed her own sage advice in prioritizing her female friendships on the show, but maybe we can still learn from what she didn’t do by remembering that soulmates cannot just be found in lovers but also best friends, loved ones, and ourselves. Self-partnership and friendships can be some of the most beautiful love stories, and they are just as worthy of pursuing as romantic love.
If you’re in need of a good cry, watch these emotional rom coms. We’ll even tell you where to stream them.
More often than not, romantic comedies deliver a steady supply of light-hearted humor, kitschier plot lines, and a satisfying conclusion that sees the couple settle down into a pitch-perfect relationship with each other. An ideal viewing option for date nights, long plane trips, or a rainy Sunday afternoon spent at home, these lighter romcoms can make you laugh, weep, and leave you saying “awww” through their heart-warming depiction of relationships, dating, and love in general.
On the flip side of that coin, a select number of other romantic comedies opt for a far different approach. While they might provide a similarly feel-good portrayal of relationships in some areas, these movies also pack a wallop of a punch regarding their emotional subject matter. From existential 2000s dramedies to stylish modern musicals, these romantic comedies have the ability to leave viewers in complete emotional shambles once the end credits finally start to roll.
La La LandLionsgateA love letter to the glamorous Hollywood musicals of the ‘40s and ‘50s, La La Land also details the struggle that comes from following your lifelong dreams. Focusing on two aspiring artists (Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone) wandering down individual career paths, La La Land underscores the personal sacrifice each person makes for the sake of their future success. Putting themselves through tremendous personal heartbreak and professional frustrations, La La Land will have viewers looking back at their own past relationships, wondering what might have been, even as they acknowledge the joys of the present moment. Watch La La Land on Amazon Video.
(500) Days of SummerFox SearchlightCertain things in life are almost unavoidable, with everyone experiencing them at one point or another. Along with death, taxes, loss, and the embarrassing struggle to understand new slang terms, break-ups are one such aspect that we must all suffer through eventually. Exploring the emotional upheaval that comes with a failed romance, (500) Days of Summer emphasizes the idea that it takes two people to make a relationship work, requiring each person to put in an equal amount of time and energy. As humorous as it is relatable, (500) Days of Summer also hammers home the fact–no matter how much it might seem otherwise–there’s someone out there for everyone, with some relationships simply not meant to be. Watch (500) Days of Summer om Hulu.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MindFocus FeaturesThere’s healthy breakups where each party mutually agrees to go their separate ways–and then there’s the kind of breakups that leaves each person wishing their significant other never even existed. Such is the simple premise behind Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, a masterful sci-fi romantic comedy that involves a dysfunctional couple (Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet) erasing each other from their memories.
Though it might take a few viewings to fully understand, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind illustrates the entire point of relationships in the first place, especially those that end on a poor note. Yes, you might experience a debilitating amount of internal pain through your experiences dating the other person, but you’ll have discovered so much more about yourself and your partner in the process. Watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Amazon Video.
Lost in TranslationFocus FeaturesNot every relationship has to do with physical attraction. In fact, the most meaningful romances tend to arrive when we feel we’ve met someone we can relate to on a more fundamental level. Presenting this unique type of love in a poignant and understandable manner, Lost in Translation focuses on the close-knit bond between an emotionally uncertain college graduate (Scarlett Johansson) and an aging actor in Tokyo.
Zeroing in on the emotional relationship between these two wayward souls, Lost in Translation revolves around the notion that true love isn’t necessarily built around one’s physical characteristics. Instead, the most sweeping romances are those that encourage us to challenge and expand our worldview, giving us the necessary strength to face all of life’s recurring obstacles. Watch Lost in Translation on Max.
Celeste & Jesse ForeverSony PicturesAs most people will readily admit, some relationships might not work out for a fairly straightforward reason: the couple simply isn’t ready to be together. Whether coming to terms with their own personal flaws or expressing skepticism about the couples’ future together, these people just don’t seem prepared to settle into a long-lasting relationship–even when their partner seems perfectly willing to.
This cathartic theme forms the backbone for Celeste & Jesse Forever, a 2012 romantic comedy centered around the divorce of former high school sweethearts (Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg). Through heartrending in its thematic subjects and main narrative plot line, Celeste & Jesse Forever’s affecting look at love and the effort required to make a relationship work will viewers with a newfound respect for couples who have been thick and thin together–and somehow emerged stronger on the other side. Watch Celeste & Jesse Forever on Max.
AmélieUGC FoxCompared to most other movies on this list, Amélie won’t necessarily leave viewers sobbing through its romantic subject matter, but rather through its overarching themes of life, time, and learning to embrace the potential for happiness. At once a romantic comedy yet also an engaging character study, Amélie is all about seizing the moment, using every second of life to your advantage. Whether reconnecting a middle-aged man with his favorite childhood toys or setting up two lovesick individuals in desperate need of companionship, Amélie harps on the idea that happiness can take many forms, allowing us to pursue everything we want most in life, be it a relationship, a globe-trotting vacation, or a deeper connection with our friends and family. Watch Amélie on FreeVee.
Feeling nostalgic for your favorite 2000s sitcoms? We’ve listed the absolute best and where you can stream them.
Taking advantage of the newfound respect audiences held for TV in the 1990s, the 2000s took the opportunity to craft a wide array of memorable television series that caught viewers’ attention. Whether reinvigorating the mockumentary format or re-contextualizing the family-oriented sitcom, television in the 2000s came loaded with incredible shows that continue to stand the test of time. Whether looking back at a show like Friends, The Office, or Arrested Development, these series have commanded the same level of love and respect today that they had two decades ago, remaining tried-and-true cult classics in the same mold as Seinfeld, Cheers, or MASH* before it.
FriendsNBCThere’s a reason Friends is often mentioned in the same breath as the word “sitcom” itself. A generation-defining TV show as avidly watched now as it had been in the late ‘90s and early 2000s, Friends truly defined what it was like to be in your 20s–broke, confused, and unsure about which career path to take and which romantic relationship to pursue. Led by an expertly-cast lineup of actors, Friends rejuvenated the entire sitcom format at the start of the decade, harking back to the same warmer messages conveyed in Cheers 20 years prior. Watch Friends on Max.
The OfficeNBCWhen NBC released the first season of The Office in 2004, most viewers were left unsatisfied with the final product, many feeling it an odd, unruly imitation of the original British mockumentary. By the time the second season came around, however, it was clear that The Office was destined to be something different. Popularizing the mockumentary format for the remainder of the 2000s, The Office managed to make the everyday minutiae of the average workplace that much more outlandish and surreal. Watch The Office on Peacock.
Arrested DevelopmentFoxThere’s dysfunctional families–and then there’s the Bluths. The immature stars of Arrested Development, the Bluth brood may just overshadow the Bunkers, the Bundys, and the Costanzas as the most eccentric clan in all of TV. Though unceremoniously canceled at its peak in 2006, Arrested Development’s biting humor, three-dimensional characters, and non-stop barrage of jokes made it a cult classic in the making, its popularity eventually triggering a revival series on Netflix in the mid 2010s. Watch Arrested Development on Netflix.
It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaFXTaking a page out of Seinfeld’s playbook, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia leaned into the whole notion of imminently unlikable characters, taking that idea to extreme new heights. Drawing on a cast of unsympathetic, almost psychopathic characters who alternate between severe narcissism one moment and complete cynicism in the next, there’s nothing fuzzy or warm-hearted about a series like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yet like South Park or Family Guy, the joy of the series is seeing how much further It’s Always Sunny can veer towards its bizarre dark humor, with each new season somehow managing to top itself. Watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on Hulu.
How I Met Your MotherCBSThe pitch-perfect successor to Friends, How I Met Your Mother incorporated many of the same themes prevalent throughout Friends, from overwhelming frustrations over dead-end jobs to emotional uncertainty about potential relationships. As funny as many of its most famous jokes and distinct phrases were (including “the Bro Code and “Legen–wait for it–dary”), How I Met Your Mother also excelled at its more dramatic sequences, including anything related to break-ups, grief, and unreciprocated romantic feelings. Watch How I Met Your Mother on Hulu.
Curb Your EnthusiasmHBOAs one of the most skilled observational comics of his generation, Larry David utilized the same sense of humor that characterized his career-defining work on Seinfeld with his follow-up series, Curb Your Enthusiasm. Taking advantage of its lax HBO censorship, David honed in on less family-friendly topics, allowing him to conjure up even more reproachable characters and even more relevant societal discussions, like proper etiquette over free ice cream samples or whether one has the right to honk at an idle police vehicle. Watch Curb Your Enthusiasm on Max.
Malcolm in the MiddleFoxWhile plenty of series before it had focused on working-class families, few TV shows had truly embraced blue-collar workers quite like Malcolm in the Middle. Presenting a dysfunctional family of chaotic, irresponsible ne’er-do-wells, Malcolm in the Middle immersed itself around economically struggling households, complete with parents barely pulling in more minimum wage salaries. Yet far from portraying these issues in a pretentious or preachy way, Malcolm in the Middle showed that even the most financially downtrodden families can still relax and have fun (albeit in incredibly bizarre and unconventional ways). Watch Malcolm in the Middle on Hulu.
Selling The OC is back on Netflix for Season 3, and this season is nothing short of dramatic. The lucrative world of real estate in Orange County, California, may be full of million-dollar homes and all the luxuries you could think of, but all the money in the world can’t stop the gossip. Season 3 has explosive arguments, will-they-won’t-they moments, and plenty of catty callouts to keep you binging every thirty-minute installment. So, let’s get into what happened this season.
Why Are Gio and Kayla Beefing?The season starts with Kayla Cardona, a hardworking single mom, reaping the benefits of her efforts by earning a 28-million-dollar listing. This achievement, however, sparks a conflict with Gio Helou, leading to a tense situation that would implode their existing friendship and respect for each other. Gio feels he is owed a piece of that 28-million-dollar pie because “upper management” called and asked for his listing strategies just before Kayla received the listing. He feels slighted for giving insight and advice and receiving nothing in return. This turns into heated discussions between the two, resulting in Gio telling Ali Harper to keep her eyes open for Kayla and be wary of their friendship.
What’s Going on With Alex and Tyler?Alex Hall and Tyler Stanaland are the Queen and King of dancing around their feelings for each other, constantly leaving the viewer to scream at the TV, “Just go out already!” Season 3 is no different, and the two continue to do the crazy dance around any actual commitment or even real, honest conversation. Alex is upset that Tyler is never direct or takes any charge, and Tyler feels like the two are never on the same page. He says he wants a family, a marriage, and someone to spend his life with, but he can’t seem to pursue Alex without getting scared.
After a few mishaps and Alex starting to date someone else in London, the two have a real honest conversation. Alex says the only thing holding her back from diving head-first into this new relationship is the possibility of one with Tyler. The conversation is left relatively unresolved, and the show ends on a cliffhanger with Alex texting someone that she will see them soon with heart emojis. Is it to Tyler? Or the London man? We will have to wait until Season 4 to find out.
What’s The Deal with Sean?Where do I even begin with Sean Palmieri and his out-of-the-blue beef with Austin Victoria, Tyler, and Gio? It all starts with Sean spreading a rumor that Austin and his wife, Lisa, propositioned him for a threesome after giving him marijuana cookies. This doesn’t sit well with Austin, who confronts Sean at the O Group Office. The conversation gets heated, and Austin pushes Sean after Sean repeatedly claims he didn’t make up the rumor but then reinforces that the rumor is true. It’s a very confusing moment and knowing what to believe is hard.
This tension transpires throughout the show as Sean tries to make amends with Tyler, but Tyler is uninterested in being friends with him. When Tyler denies wanting to be his friend, Sean says that Tyler has hit on him in the past, been possessive of their friendship, and even pursued him. Sean spills all this tea in front of the O Group, but he doesn’t realize that his story has changed slightly, and Kayla caught on. Initially, Sean told Kayla about the marijuana cookies and dinner, but in the final argument he has on the show, he says there were no marijuana cookies or dinner. Now, the rest of the group, except for Alex Jarvis, are questioning whether Sean is truthful.
How Is New Girl Ali Fitting In?Season 3 is the first time we see Ali Harper in full swing as a soon-to-be agent at the O Group. We met her briefly at the end of Season 2, but Season 3 shows who she is and how she fits into the group. She’s falling into place hanging out with Alex Jarvis, Kayla, and Brandi Marshall, and about halfway through the season, she has completed all of her real estate hours to take the exam and become a licensed agent.
Even though she’s not an agent, that doesn’t stop her from getting involved in the drama. Ali calls out Alex Hall for being a liar after Hall claimed she didn’t speak negatively about Kayla on a podcast. The girls find the podcast and hear Hall say Kayla needs to be medicated, so Ali takes it upon herself to call her a liar and a bad person. It seems Ali should be more focused on learning real estate in the area instead of the drama because she almost tanked a showing for Gio. Jason Oppenheim suggests that while Gio is out of town, he allows Ali to run a showing of his to give her some exposure. Outside of knowing the square footage and number of bedrooms and bathrooms, Ali knew nothing about the home and couldn’t answer any questions for potential buyers. Big crash and burn, Ali. Let’s hope Gio lets you live this one down.
The full Season 3 is available on Netflix for binging purposes, and you should run to your couch right now to tune in. You won’t want to miss the lavish listings and melodramatic moments that Selling The OC always delivers.
As it turns out, Challengers isn’t just that “sexy Zendaya tennis movie.” It’s also that “sexy Zendaya polyamory movie.” Truly, polyamory has rarely been so casually depicted as it is in Challengers. With its sultry trio of sun-kissed stars, the movie matter-of-factly portrays polyamory as something pure and simple – something natural, something already in our bones. Ultimately, it’s refreshing to see Tashi Duncan (Zendaya) comfortably in love with two men (Mike Faist and Josh O’Connor). It’s an antidote to the tawdry love triangles of past dramas. It may also inspire you to hunt down further sexy polyamory movies. However, since “sexy polyamory movies” is not yet a category available on Netflix, we’ve done the work for you. Here are some of the best (and worst) examples of sexy polyamory movies.
Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017)Annapurna PicturesBy using the creator of the Wonder Woman comics, William Moulton Marston, as a case study, this historical drama became the first mainstream Hollywood film to portray polyamory in a thorough, positive light. It’s a shame that more people didn’t see it: Normies could have benefited from learning that Wonder Woman was inspired by S&M fantasies. (That lasso should have been the first clue.) In any case, the movie’s portrayal of Marston (Luke Evans) and his two loves (Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote) was multifaceted enough to thrill and delight viewers.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)Warner Bros.This movie was written and directed by He Who Must Not Be Named (it rhymes with Shmoody Shmallen), but it also depicts consensual non-monogamy in a non-salacious light. When this movie’s free-spirited Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) shacks up with María Elena (Penélope Cruz) and Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), the union feels as organic as Shmoody Shmallen’s cancelation by modern society. Though the poly drama is sometimes played for laughs, Antonio acts ethically throughout the movie. Additionally, María Elena and Cristina are supportive of each other (until they aren’t), and every relationship in the triad feels equal (until it doesn’t).
Shortbus (2006)THINKFilmIf you want to know what Manhattan was like when it was still cool–before it became a playground for the wealthy–then watch Shortbus. Like any good niche arthouse movie, the film features not just matter-of-fact polyamory, but also a three-way blowjob, a vegan orgy, self-fellatio, and plenty of gay stuff. And all of it was unsimulated. Mind you, this John Cameron Mitchell-directed movie came out in 2006! Veganism was not yet weaponized by Gwyneth Paltrow.
Sense8 (2015-2017)NetflixThe polyamory in this short-lived series was presented as a superpower–something that bound and reinforced its eight main characters. Of course, this sci-fi show was co-created by the Wachowskis, so the eight aforementioned “sensates” were psychically linked by some new age techno mumbo jumbo. However, the sensates’ connection still made them essentially a poly pan octet (octad?) who relied on each other emotionally, physically, and often sexually. In any case, this show was great fun from start to finish.
Savages (2012)Universal PicturesIn this twisted (but not twisty; don’t get that twisted) Oliver Stone thriller, Blake Lively starred as the girlfriend of both Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Can you think of a more 2012 sentence? That said, Savages stands out for the way it addresses its central trio’s homoerotic undertones, even though it never presents polyamory as something mutually beneficial for its characters. After all, this is a movie about unlikeable people doing bad things: It’s not intent on exploring the magnanimity of the human spirit. Plus, Hollywood needs bad examples of polyamory for movies like Challengers to show the trope’s potential.
Kinsey (2004)Fox Searchlight PicturesBefore Liam Neeson became the reigning king of B-movie action flicks, he was getting Oscar-nominated for doing gay stuff with Peter Sarsgaard in Kinsey. Yes, it’s true: Hetero Icon Liam Neeson made out with a dude once. But said dalliance was more than just a scandalous scene.
In this movie, Neeson’s character, Alfred Kinsey, is a scientist exploring the depths and limits of human sexuality. But by falling in love with his assistant (Sarsgaard), he realizes that sex is more than a sanctified heterosexual act within the confines of marriage: It’s a multivariant confluence of desires that manifests itself uniquely in every human being (except normies). In any case, Kinsey learns how to juggle his dual loves–Sarsgaard’s character and his wife–and thus sets the groundwork for future positive depictions of polyamory in Hollywood.
The Dreamers (2003)Fox Searchlight PicturesConsidering that two-thirds of this movie’s poly triad are brother and sister, it’s amazing that this movie isn’t ickier. And yet, Michael Pitt’s character Matthew falls in love with both Isabelle (Eva Green) and Théo (Louis Garrel), a very French brother-sister duo, without causing viewers to vomit. That doesn’t mean that the movie is a pristine example of polyamory in movies; in fact, it’s unclear whether this trio’s relationship is ethical non-monogamy or just an average Parisian Tuesday afternoon. Nevertheless, it’s at least poly-adjacent, and in a Hollywood landscape featuring scant poly representation, some members of the poly community have claimed it. Et voilà.
When you have a Max subscription and are looking for a does of laughter, stream the best HBO comedy shows.
More often than not, viewers tend to think of HBO’s renowned drama series when they hear the network’s name, instantly calling to mind such classic shows as The Sopranos, The Wire, or the dark comedy satire, Succession. While there’s no discounting any one of HBO’s revered television drama series, it’s also worth remembering the numerous comedy shows the network has released over the years as well. From self-referential sketch shows to cringe-inducing sitcoms, here are some of the best comedy series ever released to HBO.
Curb Your EnthusiasmHBOAfter co-creating one of the most iconic TV shows of all time with the decade-defining Seinfeld, Larry David captured lightning in a bottle for the second time in a row with his stylistic follow-up, Curb Your Enthusiasm. As with his earlier series, Curb Your Enthusiasm focuses on the mundane interactions that make up everyday life, from awkward encounters with old coworkers to misunderstandings at your local Italian restaurant. Examining the little-known minutiae that characterizes everyday society, David’s expansive work on Curb read like a more adult-oriented version of Seinfeld, complete with appearances from countless notable Hollywood talents (like Ted Danson, Richard Lewis, Kaley Cuoco, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Bryan Cranston).
BarryHBOEven as it grew darker and more upsetting with each new season, Barry somehow managed to retain the same off-beat sense of humor as it’s awe-inspiring initial season. A Tarantino-esque dark comedy centered around a hitman (Hader) trying to make it as a professional actor, Barry’s palpable blend of drama and comedy made it an instant hit among contemporary viewers. Between its constant twists and turns and more grounded thematic discussions (trauma and PTSD), the series’ hard-hitting, often hilarious narrative made audiences laugh even as it left them emotionally devastated–a rare feat few shows are able to achieve.
VeepHBOA more humorous version of The West Wing, Veep satirizes U.S. politics in an intelligent and meaningful way, specifically deconstructing the all-powerful nature of the American presidency. Taking a behind-the-scenes look at the various workers employed at the White House, Veep also illustrates the disconnect between larger-than-life political ideas and the tedious reality of the political field. With an ensemble cast made up of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Anna Chlumsky, Tony Hale, and Gary Cole, Veep ranks as one of the best and most approachable HBO series yet, satisfying a universal audience of prospective viewers.
The Larry Sanders ShowHBOBefore Curb Your Enthusiasm or 30 Rock, there was The Larry Sanders Show. One of the most influential sitcoms of the 1990s, The Larry Sanders Show focused on the day-to-day life of a talk show host (Garry Shandling) in front of and away from the cameras. With its grounded portrayal of the entertainment industry and endless lineup of guest stars, The Larry Sanders Show laid the groundwork for countless TV series in the years ahead, as well as establishing HBO as a network to watch out for in the future.
Eastbound & DownHBOThe first of several collaborations between HBO and comedian Danny McBride, Eastbound & Down set the standard for each of McBride’s TV shows that followed (Vice Principals and The Righteous Gemstones). As with his later series, this 2009 sports comedy drew on a wide array of contrasting comedic styles, weaving together classic slapstick with laugh-out-loud low-brow humor. While some jokes might prove a little too vulgar for a small contingent of viewers, Eastbound & Down makes for an ideal viewing experience for fans of McBride’s work on Pineapple Express or This Is the End.
Flight of the ConchordsHBOEarning a massive cult following since their formation in the late 1990s, the New Zealand comedy duo Flight of the Conchords have released nothing but memorable content, whether their hilarious soft rock albums or their very own HBO TV series. Taking a page from Larry David’s playbook, Flight of the Conchords follows the titular band as they attempt to establish themselves in New York City, only to encounter perpetual financial or career setbacks around every corner. Even if you somehow don’t find yourself laughing at the show’s drier comedic tone (which is almost impossible not to do), at the very least, you’ll find yourself tapping your feet along to the random songs present in every episode.
Mr. Show with Bob and DavidHBOA radical alternative to Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show with Bob and David starred the idiosyncratic comedy team of Bob Odenkirk and David Cross–two stars who would become known to mainstream audiences in the 2000s. Before their breakthrough roles on Breaking Bad and Arrested Development, however, Bob and David revitalized the sketch comedy series with their unique collaboration here. Opting for a more niche comedic style that blended absurdism with pitch-black dark humor, Mr. Show’s unconventional take on the sketch vehicle made it the perfect segue from earlier shows like Monty Python’s Flying Circus and later series like Chappelle’s Show.
There’s a brand-new Scooby-Doo live-action show coming to Netflix from the team behind Riverdale. While it might sound like a cause for concern, it really isn’t.
Everyone’s favorite meddlesome kids–and Scooby-Doo–look to be heading back to the live-action arena on Netflix. According to Deadline, the streaming service secured the rights to Scooby-Doo! The Live-Action Series, which will be a collaboration project between Warner Bros. Television and Greg Berlanti’s Berlanti Productions. The news signaled more than a few klaxons, especially considering Berlanti’s penchant for teen-orientated melodramatic series. Consequently, it wouldn’t be outside of the realm of possibility to see the Scooby-Doo show become more like Riverdale than a straight-up adaptation of the Hanna-Barbera animated series. It isn’t a bad thing, though–it might even be a stroke of Scooby-Dooby-Doo genius.
The failure of ‘Velma’Velma / MaxCenturies from now, historians will study Velma and ponder where it all went wrong. On paper, it’s clear to see the intent of the show: To create an adult cartoon in the same vein as the Harley Quinn animated series but with Scooby-Doo characters. (Although, it still doesn’t explain why anyone would exclude Scooby, since he’s the MVP of the franchise, but Hollywood has a habit of kicking rocks then complaining about broken toes thereafter.)
Unfortunately, Velma makes the cardinal mistake of not having likable characters to root for or get behind. It’s tough to care about anyone here since they lack any charm or redeeming qualities, coming across like the smarmy, engagement-farming cesspool of blue checkmarks on X. It’s a sin, especially when the original Mystery Inc. is such a beloved and charismatic bunch, feeling like the best friends everybody wants in life.
Velma could have worked had it left the characterizations alone and only updated the storylines to be more mature. (Also, for heaven’s sake, keep Scoob in the fray, since everyone expects to see the Great Dane’s shenanigans and hear his sneaky laugh.) However, the idea to focus on the natural teenage drama that’s likely to occur between the characters makes for an interesting angle to explore–something that Scooby-Doo! The Live-Action Series should lean into like Riverdale.
Why a ‘Riverdale’ formula makes senseRiverdale / The CWIn Archie Comics, Archie Andrews and his pals experience a Leave It to Beaver-like existence. It’s wholesome and goofy fun as they get up to different kinds of mischief in the suburban utopia known as Riverdale. The CW’s Riverdale turns this experience into a bizarro world where Archie fights a bear, Jughead Jones leads a gang, and Betty Cooper’s father is a serial killer–and those are only the milder events across a ludicrous seven-season run. Yet, somehow, someway, Riverdale hits the sweet spot and connects with the greater audience, as the creators embraced the absurd and surreal to deliver an absolutely bonkers and entertaining show.
The reason for its success is simple: Riverdale understands the characterization of the main cast and what makes them tick, even if they are thrown into a different genre and upside-down world than what most fans are familiar with. Similarly, it isn’t too difficult to imagine the same formula applied to a Scooby-Doo show, while infusing it with the kooky spirit of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (another Berlanti Productions-WBTV project). Think about it: Mystery Inc. needs to solve an overarching mystery across the season, as every episode unravels more spooky twists and explores the relationship dynamics between the characters. It wouldn’t be too outrageous to see love dynamics form between Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy as an example – much like what happened between Archie, Jughead, Betty, and Veronica.
Ultimately, Riverdale understood the assignment, keeping its tongue firmly planted in its cheek and never being afraid to get wackier and outrageous. And Scooby-Doo! The Live-Action Series could follow suit here. After all, this is a show about detective teens and a talking, perpetually hungry dog that bumbles his way into solving mysteries. If Scooby-Doo isn’t a spiritual successor to Riverdale, nothing is.
The ‘Scooby Apocalypse’ comic book series that showed it can workScooby Apocalypse / DC ComicsMaturing Scooby-Doo for an older audience was attempted by DC Comics in 2016. From an idea conceived by Jim Lee, the team of Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis, Howard Porter, Dale Eaglesham, and Pat Olliffe created Scooby Apocalypse, a comic book series that saw Mystery Inc. thrust into a post-apocalyptic setting where they faced off against zombies and other horrors.
The combination of outstanding art and mature storytelling resonated–both in terms of sales and praise–but the series was canceled after 36 issues. According to Bleeding Cool, Scooby Apocalypse received a screwdriver to the head because DC’s big brother, Warner Bros., didn’t like the reinventions of the Hanna-Barbera characters and pulled the plug. Unfortunately, this isn’t the strangest thing that Warner Bros. has ever done, since this is the company that tried to digitally remove Henry Cavill’s mustache for Justice League and made him look like the human version of Shrek instead of Superman.
It’s a different era now, though. Shows like Riverdale and Wednesday demonstrate how it’s possible to take traditionally kid-friendly franchises or characters and tweak them to appeal to a more mature audience. Every streamer and network wants more eyeballs, and they’re likely to replicate the same formula with other popular intellectual properties. As long as the core and spirit remain intact in these adaptations, there’s no cause to say, “Ruh-roh, Raggy,” just yet.
Will Olivia vote out a “safe” player or finally go against her alliance to win the final showdown?
The season six finale of Netflix’s The Circle is this Wednesday, May 8, and the last episode ended with six people left in the game and only one for certain that they’ll be in the final five: Olivia, aka Brandon. The sweet-as-pie catfish was given the ultimate power as the Super Secret Influencer. Rather than kicking someone out of the game with everyone knowing what they did, Olivia can drop a player anonymously with seemingly no repercussions. This will make or break Olivia’s game.
Without the secretive element of this final boot, Olivia likely would have gotten rid of Jordan or Lauren. While Olivia has had plenty of wonderful interactions with both of them, neither fit into their ultimate Double Date alliance of QT, Myles, and Kyle. But with anonymity comes great responsibility, and now Olivia can get out the people who are a true threat to winning the game: Their own alliance.
But will Olivia break the trust of their alliance? Or will they stick to what Big J would call the “boring” status quo? Here’s a ranking of every possible decision–from best to worst–and what it could mean for Olivia’s game.
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Quori-TylerNetflixQT has shown the whole season, but especially in the last few episodes, what a ruthless player she is. She’s all about the strategy and can’t be swayed by anyone, even if they have a good point. (Here’s looking at you, Jordan.) Although Olivia seems to be considering dropping Myles more than QT, that would ultimately be Big O’s downfall. While Myles is great at getting people to go his way, he isn’t as ruthless or strategic as his bae, QT. If Olivia wants to win, this is the best choice for a block.
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MylesNetflixIf Olivia won’t block Quori-Tyler, Myles is the next best choice. Jordan’s smear campaign isn’t based on nonsense: Myles truly has been running the circle this whole time. And, while dropping QT would likely irritate Olivia’s circle bf Kyle, he’d likely see the sense in getting rid of Myles more so than QT. This choice could potentially set her up for a win.
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KyleNetflixNow, should Olivia get rid of Kyle? Probably not. He’s the catfish’s strongest ally and biggest supporter. But if you want to talk big moves, this would certainly be one. Considering the fact that keeping both Jordan and Lauren could still net Olivia at the top of their rankings, blocking Kyle could mean Olivia still wins in the end. (But it would also mean dodging Kyle’s reaction when he see’s that Olivia is actually Brandon, and that’s a TV moment we just can’t miss.)
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JordanNetflixYou have to admit, Jordan never stops trying. Despite being one of the last people to enter the Circle, he’s given everything he could to win the game. While some of his strategies have seemed a little suspect, they’ve worked far better than anyone probably would have thought. Though blocking Jordan is low-hanging fruit at this point, he’s still got fire in him and you never know what might happen if he stays.
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LaurenNetflixAlthough Lauren is sweet, it seems like all the remaining players would rather see anyone else win this game instead of her. She’s an easy one to keep around because none of the players, including Olivia, see her as a threat. While keeping her could potentially backfire…it probably won’t. Blocking Lauren, especially when you can do so anonymously, would just be a waste.
May the 4th be with you! To celebrate Star Wars Day, we take a look at one of the most famous Mandela Effects of all time.
“Luke, I am your Father.” If I had to wager a guess, I would say that you likely know what movie that’s from, even without having seen it or being a fan. If you haven’t, I’d like to know what rock you’re living under so I can disappear there, too. If you haven’t heard of this line, it’s from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. What you may not know about this famous line is that it’s actually not correct for what Darth Vader says to Luke Skywalker. The phenomenon of the entire population believing this line to be correct is known as the Mandela Effect.
What Is the Mandela Effect?The Mandela Effect, a fascinating phenomenon, occurs when large groups of people collectively misremember things. It’s a puzzle that covers various topics, from historical events to movie quotes. Some intriguing examples include Mr. Monopoly’s non-existent monocle, this misquote from Silence of The Lambs, and the belief that Nelson Mandela died in the 1980s. Mandela didn’t pass away until 2013, but everyone was certain there was news footage of him dying in his jail cell in 1980. No one is immune to this intriguing phenomenon.
So, What Is the Real Line from ‘Star Wars’?It’s a part of pop culture that’s likely to be forever immortalized incorrectly. We’ve all been saying, “Luke, I am your Father,” but the truth is different. The real line, the one that Darth Vader actually says, is, “No, I am your Father.” It’s a small but significant discovery in the world of the Mandela Effect. According to an ABC7 article, 63% of people surveyed guessed the incorrect line, and only 17% got the line right. It’s possible that the line is misheard or misquoted because the fake line is more impactful by using Luke’s name, drawing in a sense of attachment and knowing. Whatever the reason for hearing and using it wrong, it’s still not what was actually said.
It’s May 4th–Star Wars Day–and to celebrate, we should all watch The Empire Strikes Back and prepare ourselves for that shell-shocking reveal scene again, but this time with the correct quote. Say it right, you will.
For Star Wars Day, we’re celebrating our favorite Jedi: Baby Yoda. May the 4th be with you!
Life’s tough in a galaxy far, far away. Whether it’s Jawas stealing the grease off an engine or new types of evil manifesting after every breath, poor Grogu, aka Baby Yoda, goes through the most in his corner of the Star Wars Universe. However, he must be a secret Monty Python fan because this 50-year-old toddler can’t help but look on the bright side of life. As the celebrations for Star Wars Day kick off, let’s take a look back at what everyone can learn from Grogu and how he sees the world around him.
Never pass up the opportunity for a nap.There’s a pressure from society to always be busy–the hustle culture that all LinkedIn bros insist is the way. Even the Star Wars Universe can’t escape it. Someone needs to be fighting an intergalactic war or joining some cause, as no one finds the time to just breathe and reconnect with their inner self. Grogu doesn’t believe in these principles. Instead, he practices self-love in the form of naps and getting in his full eight hours of sleep every night.
For Baby Yoda, he never misses out on the opportunity to turn to the dark side of his eyelids and catch some Zs. Regardless of the peril or the urgency, Grogu finds the time to step away from reality and dream about a world where he gets to stuff his mouth with a variety of eggs and play with shiny things. It proves to be a wise choice, because when he wakes up, he has a clear mind and recharged body, using his new state of clarity to solve problems with his Force abilities and general cuteness. Imagine how much better the galaxy could be if everyone took a power nap instead of engaging in full-blown battles all the time. Pillows over blasters, please.
Use great power for good.Disney+Somewhere in Heaven, Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben must grin every time Baby Yoda uses the Force. While Grogu shows a high degree of power for one so young, he uses it responsibly, refusing to walk around and Force blast everything as if he has a magical Nerf gun in his fingertips. Instead, he only uses the ancient energy within when it’s absolutely necessary in a life-or-death situation.
Despite being raised at the Jedi Temple and heading off with Luke Skywalker to learn the way of the Jedi, Grogu decides to follow a different destiny. He doesn’t want to be a space cop–like the rest of the self-righteous Jedi who seem to be at the center of all the trouble in the galaxy–he wants to explore the world with Din Djarin and help out wherever he can. When Luke presents Grogu with an option of taking Yoda’s lightsaber or chainmail armor, Grogu chooses the latter as it symbolizes his attachment to the Mandalorian (and also possibly because it’s shiny). He could have wielded a legendary lightsaber and learned how to tap into deeper, greater power, but he chose the path of love rather than that of being a soldier of star wars.
Embrace other cultures and cuisines.For Grogu, life’s an adventure. Not only does he possess an understanding of the Jedi Order and the Way of the Mandalore, he also tries to learn from every creature or being he encounters in his travels across the galaxy. He never tries to be superior or as if he knows more than others, as he simply takes it all in and lives under the knowledge tree of life.
This extends to his appetite, too. Grogu indulges in delicacies such as frog and spider eggs, while also attempting to sample whatever he can stuff in his mouth. Sure, he often needs a reminder that some things (and creatures) aren’t meant to be eaten, but one cannot fault his desire to sample exotic cuisine. His diet isn’t limited to beans on toast, that’s for sure.
You can choose your family.Disney+Those who say blood is thicker than water have obviously never sat down for a Thanksgiving dinner with all their relatives. In Grogu’s case, though, he doesn’t even have the luxury of despising a drunk uncle or passive-aggressive parent. With no known blood relatives, he’s all alone in this world–or is he? Grogu understands that family is more than blood, building strong emotional connections with the people he meets on his journeys.
The close relationship between him and Din Djarin culminates with the Mandalorian adopting him, but it’s remarkable how Baby Yoda creates his own family circle beyond this. Peli Motto becomes a surrogate aunt as the Mandalorian drops off Grogu for her to babysit on occasion. Luke Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano also create powerful attachments to the child, as they share a Jedi connection and become something more than masters. Ultimately, it’s clear Grogu subscribes to the Dom Toretto school of thought, uttering the mantra in his own unique goo-goo-ga-ga: “I don’t have friends, I’ve got family.”
May the 4th be with you! For Star Wars Day, we’re looking back at all of Princess Leia’s best moments. (Yes, including the gold bikini.)
Of all the Star Wars films, series, games, and more, there’s no better character than Princess Leia. Not only is she a space princess, but she’s essentially a warrior, as well as a romantic lead and a fierce representation of femininity in feminism. Portrayed by the late and great Carrie Fisher, it’s safe to say that Princess Leia is our favorite part of Star Wars.
After getting captured by Darth Vader in the original 1977 film, Princess Leia becomes a Rebel leader and spy. When Luke Skywalker and Han Solo save Princess Leia, she joins their team as a natural leader, which often clashes with Han’s position as the captain of the Millennium Falcon. Together, however, they work magic, not only saving the galaxy, but also bringing about a new generation of fighters in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. We’ve compiled our favorite Princess Leia moments in honor of the best annual holiday, May the 4th (be with you).
Leia calls Han a “scruffy-looking nerf herder.”Leia’s full of spot-on zingers and quotable moments, but one of the best is easily when she calls Han a “stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.” The quote has become so embedded in pop culture that the band, Galantis, has a song with that as the title and it’s inspired a whole line of Etsy merch. In The Empire Strikes Back, Leia’s infuriated when Han and Luke crack a plan to smuggle Nerfs after Han loses all their money gambling. Of course, the Empire is tracking the Nerfs, so when they shoot at the Falcon, Leia’s quick to insult Han.
Princess Leia lets the rebels “steal” Alderaanian ships.Disney XDIn an effort to thwart the Empire in Star Wars Rebels, Leia is put in charge of getting a fleet of ships to Lyste. However, Leia is, of course, on the side of the rebels, and in the sneakiest and boldest way possible, she engineers a plan that allows the rebels to “steal” the ships she’s supposed to deliver. In doing so, she also “gets mad” at the Empire when they fail to protect her and the ships, hilariously turning the fate of the story in the rebels’ favor.
She wears the golden bikini and uses it as a weapon.20th Century FoxThe moment when Princess Leia wears a gold bikini as Jabba the Hutt’s prisoner is probably the most iconic moment in the entire franchise (and one of Ross’s fantasies in Friends). But that’s not what we’re concerned with. It’s the moment after she’s captured that warrants our attention. When Luke offers Jabba the chance to release Leia or die, he starts a fight that leads to Leia using the chain of her bikini to choke and kill the evil Jabba.
Leia flies in space when she could have died.Walt DisneyIn Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which many Star Wars fans don’t love, Leia flies across space when she might have died after a major explosion. Carrie Fisher had already passed away, and fans were expecting the moment to be her death. Instead, however, Leia taps into the Force to pull herself to a damaged spaceship, proving that “the Force is with her.” Throughout the films, we learn that she and Luke come from the same parentage and that Luke may have even trained her a bit between trilogies, but this is the first time she can really harness the power. It’s a controversial moment, but many love it as a show of Leia’s calm resilience.
Leia fakes out the stormtroopers after Han says he loves her.One of the reasons we love Leia so much is for her bold courage and creative thinking during stressful times. After getting shot in the arm by a stormtrooper in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Han rushes over to see if she’s okay. But she points her gun at him as he admits, “I love you,” and she responds, “I know,” in one of the franchise’s most classic quotes. She fakes out the stormtroopers as Han moves out of the way and opens fire on them, contributing to the Rebels’ victory.
Princess Leia sacrifices herself to help Kylo Ren and Rey defeat Emperor Palpatine.Sure, the final movies in the Star Wars franchise may not be the best, but we can’t deny that Leia’s ending was a worthy one. While Leia’s lifeforce energy has been mostly drained, her use of the Force in the film’s final moments is what leads to her end. She calls out to her defiant son, Kylo Ren, distracting him as he fights Rey, who grabs the moment to take the lightsaber and keep Kylo alive long enough to take down the evil Emperor Palpatine. Leia becomes one with the Force, bringing her journey full circle from princess to warrior.
To celebrate Star Wars Day, we’re manifesting in the hopes our favorite Star Wars characters could get their own spin-off. May the 4th be with you!
The Star Wars universe is packed to the brim with fascinating characters around every corner. (For proof of this fact, just look at Star Wars’ Wookieepedia entries, with even the most limited supporting characters possessing thousand-word biographies.) With such a rich and expansive universe at their disposal, the creative minds behind Star Wars have ensured plenty of great movies and TV shows focusing on their memorable heroes and villains, whether in the form of Ahsoka, Andor, or Obi-Wan Kenobi.
As enjoyable as these various projects have been in the past, it’s also worth pointing out the numerous other Star Wars characters with the potential to star in their own unique spin-off. From fugitive Clone troopers to scheming Sith lords, here are the Star Wars characters whose stories we’d love to see more of in a feature-length film or television series.
Darth Plagueis“Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?” While this oft-quoted line has become something of a joke among viewers, no amount of hilarious memes or parody videos can detract from Darth Plaguesis’s story. The shadowy master of Darth Sidious, Darth Plaguesis sought to unlock the secrets of immortality alongside his treacherous apprentice, his experiments in manipulating midi-chlorians potentially even triggering the birth of Anakin Skywalker. Given his role as the de facto mentor to Palpatine, seeing an entire narrative around Plagueis and his relationship to the future emperor would help illuminate the mysteries surrounding Palpatine’s earlier years–perhaps even explaining how Palpatine cheated death in The Rise of Skywalker.
Mace Windu20th Century FoxAs a general rule, any character capable of besting Darth Sidious in singles’ combat deserves their own spin-off series. Case in point with Mace Windu, Samuel L. Jackson’s purple lightsaber-wielding Jedi Master throughout the Prequel Trilogy. Among the most gifted duelists in the Jedi Order, Windu also possesses the unique ability to tap into the Dark Side, making him all the more powerful when it comes to channeling the Force. A fascinating figure who tows the line between Jedi and Sith, there’s no end to the possibilities of a Mace Windu-oriented movie or TV series, from his initial training in the Jedi Order to his peak years as the supportive friend of Count Dooku and Qui-Gon Jinn.
Qi’raWalt DisneyThe long lost love of Han Solo’s youth, Solo’s Qi’ra goes on to become an integral member of the Crimson Dawn crime syndicate, serving directly under the faction’s enigmatic leader, Maul. Yet as most fans likely know, much of Qi’ra’s story–including her tenure in the organization and the remainder of her lifetime during the Galactic Civil War–remain a complete mystery. As Star Wars continues to branch out and explore exciting new narratives, it’s worth wondering what a space opera crime series might look like with Qi’ra in the lead role. Documenting her rise and struggle to rebuild the Crimson Dawn after the events of Solo, said series can even include one final encounter between Qi’ra and Han, adding a much-needed sense of closure to their mutual romantic infatuation.
RexWarner Bros.Since his initial introduction in 2008’s Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Clone Captain Rex has become one of the most recognizable creations of George Lucas and Dave Filoni. The loyal yet somewhat hot-headed Clone commander of the 501st Legion, Rex became something of a breakout star on Filoni’s Clone Wars TV series, culminating in his return with Rebels and The Bad Batch. As one of the few Clones to avoid executing Order 66, Rex became a stalwart opponent of the fledgling Empire, traveling the galaxy in search of any Clone brethren recovering from the disastrous Great Jedi Purge. While he has popped up time and time again in later Star Wars stories, there’s no doubt that having an entire series centered around Rex’s solo adventures might make for a riveting TV show, whether taking place in between the Prequels and Original Trilogy or detailing Rex’s later service in the Rebel Alliance.
Darth BaneDisney+Put plainly, everything we know and associate about the Sith stems directly from Darth Bane. The strongest Sith of his generation, Bane established the all-encompassing Rule of Two, limiting the number of Sith in the galaxy to a master and an apprentice. As one of the most important characters in Star Wars’ continuity, having an entire series dedicated to Bane’s life could make for an incredible show, both in terms of showcasing the Old Republic era and Bane’s genocidal campaign to eliminate his countless Sith rivals.
Count Dooku20th Century FoxAs Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi has made perfectly clear, Count Dooku remains one of the most fascinating characters in the Prequel Trilogy. A thoughtful and contemplative Jedi turned influential Sith lord, Dooku’s fall was borne out of repeated tragedies in his personal life and his own frustrations with the Jedi Order. With a story mirroring Anakin Skywalker’s own transformation to a Sith warlord, seeing Dooku’s story expanded more fully would add further depth to his characters, as well as his relationship to long-standing Star Wars characters like Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn, or his former master, Yoda.
Galen MarekThe lead character of the fan-favorite Star Wars: The Force Unleashed video games, Galen Marek–like most pre-Disney Star Wars characters–was condemned to the non-canonical limbo of the Star Wars Legends universe at the start of the 2010s. Yet as later Disney projects have made clear, banishing a well-loved character to Legends doesn’t necessarily eliminate the possibility of their return to the chronological canon.
Following in the footsteps of other former Legends characters like Thrawn and Asajj Ventress, Galen Marek could one day make his entry into Star Wars’ current canon. While it might take some creative writing to tweak the character’s background and legacy in Star Wars, Force Unleashed fans would no doubt appreciate seeing Darth Vader’s secret apprentice return to the series in some way, shape, or form, perhaps even as the star of his own spin-off series.
Baby Reindeer proves that the worst horrors of life aren’t the monsters that go bump in the night, but the real-life trauma people face every day.
Richard Gadd’s Baby Reindeer tiptoed onto Netflix without much fanfare or bluster. Judging by the name alone, it appeared like a spinoff of Sweet Tooth or something about Christmas, but no one could have anticipated the visceral and hard-hitting show based on Gadd’s real-experiences of being sexually assaulted and stalked. The seven-episode limited series stormed the streaming charts and had everyone talking, including Stephen King who penned a gushing essay about the equally absorbing and unsettling story. As a matter of fact, when all is said and audited by the end of 2024, Baby Reindeer will go down as the scariest horror of the year for its disturbing portrayal of trauma.
‘Baby Reindeer’ shows how easy it is to ruin someone’s life.Films and shows about stalkers are a dime a dozen. They almost always follow the same premise: A person becomes infatuated with another and crosses all boundaries within the first act. However, Baby Reindeer paints a more detailed and thorough picture of Martha Scott (Jessica Gunning). Her friendship with Donny Dunn (Gadd) forms because of an act of kindness and they appear to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Martha and Donny only hit the first wobble when Martha lets on that she wants them to be more than friends and refuses to take no for an answer.
NetflixMartha’s behavior becomes more intrusive (and aggressive) as time passes, but it isn’t until Donny tries to put distance between them that she goes into overdrive. From there, she invades and destroys every facet of his life–his home, work, hobbies, friends, romantic partners, and even his family. What’s terrifying to witness is how easy it is for her to do this without consequence–but Donny needs to deal with the fallout. He needs to move out because others feel unsafe, his relationship with Teri (Nava Mau) falls apart, and he must reveal intimate details about his life to his parents, including coming out about his sexuality, because of Martha’s threats. Donny loses complete control of his life, and it’s scary to see how Martha is able to orchestrate it all as a means to isolate and ostracize him from others.
A terrifying display of gaslighting and victim shaming.One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of Baby Reindeer centers around the emotional fragility of Donny. His raw monologue in the sixth episode reveals his low level of self-esteem and high degree of self-loathing, as he feels guilty and partially responsible for the crimes inflicted on him by Darrien O’Connor (Tom Goodman-Hill) and Martha. None of this is aided by the victim shaming and gaslighting he experiences from others.
Baby Reindeer begins with Donny reporting Martha to the police and the first question he’s met with is: Why did it take you so long to report it? This attitude prevails as a recurring theme throughout the series, as Donny experiences shame for the harmful acts inflicted upon him. It shouldn’t matter how long it takes someone to report a crime; however, it’s this type of second-guessing and rash judgment that prevents victims from coming forward. The authorities, in particular, let him down by failing to take Donny’s complaints seriously when he approaches them. It’s unacceptable for someone to bomb an email address hundreds of times a day, but the police shrug him off and tell him to come back when he has something more concrete. Their only advice? Don’t let her get your phone number…
This all plays into the isolation and trauma that Donny grapples with, as no one takes his concerns seriously and he needs to face it on his own.
An exploration of the harrowing after-effects of trauma.In most horror movies or shows, frightening events happen, the characters overcome, and they carry on with their lives afterward. Sure, they might look over their shoulder more often than before, but they appear to move on fairly quickly. Baby Reindeer takes a more realistic approach, demonstrating how it isn’t simple to shake off trauma. Instead, it seeps into other areas of life and takes over, suffocating the victim with complicated emotions and behavioral responses.
NetflixDarrien’s abuse changed Donny. Like a black cloud, it lingers over his head and fractures his ability to connect with others, while also breaking down his own self-worth. At one point, he even admits how Martha’s flattery made him feel good, so that’s why he struggled to go to the police for so long. As a victim of abuse, Donny proves to be an easy target for Martha, as she preys on his vulnerabilities. It’s only when he opens up about his past trauma and what it’s done to him that he’s able to deal with his stalker issue. Yet, this isn’t the end of the story or some magical happy ending where everything is suddenly fine, as Donny realizes that Martha – before she was an abuser – was likely a victim, too. It’s a devastating moment where the cycles of abuse become all too clear for all to witness and ponder.
The Idea of You is the perfect guide for seducing your favorite musician. Step one? Be Anne Hathaway.
When Solène takes her daughter to Coachella to see her favorite boy band, August Moon, a chance encounter in a private trailer launches the 40-year-old single mom into a whirlwind romance with Hayes Campbell, one of the rockstars from the band. If that sounds more like a Wattpad 1D fanfiction than a new Amazon Prime movie, you wouldn’t be the first to suspect that of the origins of this novel adaptation. Alas, The Idea of You is a new straight-to-streaming romantic comedy starring Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine. (And it’s great.)
Of course, you might be wondering as you watch their two-hour lovefest…”What if I fell in love with my favorite pop star?” You wouldn’t be the only one. If you want to end next year’s Coachella coupled-up, you may want to follow Anne Hathaway’s lead in The Idea of You. Here’s how to seduce a rockstar:
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Be in the right place at the right time.If you want to bag a rockstar, it isn’t going to be in the meet and greet line or sliding into their DMs. Solène thinks she’s headed to the VIP restrooms at Coachella when she actually stumbles into Hayes’ personal trailer. Get creative and random, just like our girl Solène. (But not at the Coachella trailers, because you know there’s going to be an uptick of women trying to do just that next year.)
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Show him you’re “not like other girls.”Solène is 40, flirty and thriving. She doesn’t scream at Hayes like a fangirl. She treats him like he’s any other person–probably because she doesn’t even realize who he is at first. Famous people are attracted to people who don’t act like fans.
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Don’t get seduced by the fame.Does she want to spend time with him? Sure. But not for the trips around the world or the free clothes or the fancy parties. She just wants him. Too many people hang on to celebrities not because they like who they are, but because they desire the life they could give them. Don’t be like that–be like Solène.
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Show off those shoulders, girl.Amazon MGM StudiosIs Anne Hathaway in her 40s? Definitely. (Although, honestly, how?!) Despite being the mom of a teen, she still has the assets, showing off her sexy shoulders as soon as she has a moment alone with Hayes. Know what you’ve got and show it. This is seduction after all.
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Play hard to get.Are you excited to seduce your favorite rockstar? Sure, but they have plenty of people throwing themselves at them at all times. Be different. Be like Solène, who doesn’t just jump him the first chance she gets.
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See him, and I mean really see him.Amazon MGM StudiosHayes isn’t the picture perfect rockstar she’s learned about on talk shows. He’s a real person with real trauma and real feelings. The more you treat someone like a real, unique person, the more you can seduce them–especially if they’re never treated that way in everyday life.
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Be authentic.All of the above worked because it was authentic to Solène. She wasn’t faking it just to get Hayes in the sack. It wasn’t a game or a ploy. When you’re your true, authentic self, how could anyone resist?
The Idea of You is now streaming on Amazon Prime Video.
Will Olivia vote out a “safe” player or finally go against her alliance to win the final showdown?
The season six finale of Netflix’s The Circle is next Wednesday, May 8, and the last episode ended with six people left in the game and only one for certain that they’ll be in the final five: Olivia, aka Brandon. The sweet-as-pie catfish was given the ultimate power as the Super Secret Influencer. Rather than kicking someone out of the game with everyone knowing what they did, Olivia can drop a player anonymously with seemingly no repercussions. This will make or break Olivia’s game.
Without the secretive element of this final boot, Olivia likely would have gotten rid of Jordan or Lauren. While Olivia has had plenty of wonderful interactions with both of them, neither fit into their ultimate Double Date alliance of QT, Myles, and Kyle. But with anonymity comes great responsibility, and now Olivia can get out the people who are a true threat to winning the game: Their own alliance.
But will Olivia break the trust of their alliance? Or will they stick to what Big J would call the “boring” status quo? Here’s a ranking of every possible decision–from best to worst–and what it could mean for Olivia’s game.
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Quori-TylerNetflixQT has shown the whole season, but especially in the last few episodes, what a ruthless player she is. She’s all about the strategy and can’t be swayed by anyone, even if they have a good point. (Here’s looking at you, Jordan.) Although Olivia seems to be considering dropping Myles more than QT, that would ultimately be Big O’s downfall. While Myles is great at getting people to go his way, he isn’t as ruthless or strategic as his bae, QT. If Olivia wants to win, this is the best choice for a block.
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MylesNetflixIf Olivia won’t block Quori-Tyler, Myles is the next best choice. Jordan’s smear campaign isn’t based on nonsense: Myles truly has been running the circle this whole time. And, while dropping QT would likely irritate Olivia’s circle bf Kyle, he’d likely see the sense in getting rid of Myles more so than QT. This choice could potentially set her up for a win.
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KyleNetflixNow, should Olivia get rid of Kyle? Probably not. He’s the catfish’s strongest ally and biggest supporter. But if you want to talk big moves, this would certainly be one. Considering the fact that keeping both Jordan and Lauren could still net Olivia at the top of their rankings, blocking Kyle could mean Olivia still wins in the end. (But it would also mean dodging Kyle’s reaction when he see’s that Olivia is actually Brandon, and that’s a TV moment we just can’t miss.)
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JordanNetflixYou have to admit, Jordan never stops trying. Despite being one of the last people to enter the Circle, he’s given everything he could to win the game. While some of his strategies have seemed a little suspect, they’ve worked far better than anyone probably would have thought. Though blocking Jordan is low-hanging fruit at this point, he’s still got fire in him and you never know what might happen if he stays.
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LaurenNetflixAlthough Lauren is sweet, it seems like all the remaining players would rather see anyone else win this game instead of her. She’s an easy one to keep around because none of the players, including Olivia, see her as a threat. While keeping her could potentially backfire…it probably won’t. Blocking Lauren, especially when you can do so anonymously, would just be a waste.
From Baby Reindeer to Fleabag, the Edinburgh Fringe has given the world some of the best British movies and shows.
Everybody’s talking about Baby Reindeer, Netflix’s newest series based on a true story and an Edinburgh Fringe show. Creator and star Richard Gadd tells his true story (with some different names and characterizations) of the stalker who capitalized on his vulnerability after a traumatic experience with sexual assault, while trying to make a living as a standup comedian. But the Netflix series isn’t the first iteration of the story.
In fact, Richard first told the story in his 2019 Edinburgh Fringe festival show, after the success of his previous show, Monkey See Monkey Do, bits of which were shown in Baby Reindeer. The show became a hit, expanding to a London run and now a Netflix series. And it’s not the only show that’s had a successful trajectory. Every August, thousands of artists and creators head to Edinburgh to debut their lifelong works, so we’re highlighting some of the shows that made it out of the festival and onto our screens.
‘Baby Reindeer’ (2019)NetflixThe 2019 Edinburgh version of Baby Reindeer was a one-man show, so it was very different from what we’re seeing today and much more theatrical as Richard played every character. The Guardian wrote: “We never see Martha: she’s represented by a bar-stool. But we hear her voicemail messages and her emails scroll across the venue’s ceiling.” While the action is different from what we see on Netflix, the emotional essence seems the same as the review continues, “[Richard] presents himself as a disturbed soul, finding strange solace in Martha’s attraction to him.” Now, it’s the number one show on Netflix and Richard Gadd is a household name. Perhaps his newfound fame will elicit a sequel.
‘Fleabag’ (2013)BBC OnePhoebe Waller-Bridge is now the President of the Fringe Society, and clearly the success of her one-woman show led her there. She premiered Fleabag in 2013 at the Fringe’s Underbelly, which won a Fringe First Award. It was inspired by a friend who dared Phoebe to write a 10-minute sketch for a standup comedy night and voila! we have Fleabag, a series about a sex-obsessed woman based on a live show on the same topic.
‘Flight of the Conchords’ (2002 – 2004)HBOBret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement are known to us as the Flight of the Conchords guys and Taika Waititi collaborators. But before they became our favorite Kiwis, the duo performed three years in a row at the Edinburgh Fringe, which eventually led to their own BBC Radio show and their later HBO series.
‘Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead’ (1966)Cinecom PicturesYes, we are going back in time to the debut of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead in 1966. The Edinburgh Fringe began in 1947 to rival the city’s invite-only Edinburgh International Festival. Although many festivals within the Edinburgh Fringe are now limited to invites and accepted applications, the festival as a whole is completely open to any performer, giving them the chance to bring their shows to a wider audience. In 1966, playwright Tom Stoppard debuted his new play in Edinburgh. It’s since gone to the West End, Broadway, and has been adapted into a 1990 film starring Gary Oldman, Tim Roth, and Richard Dreyfuss.
‘The Mighty Boosh’ (1997)BBC ThreeThe Mighty Boosh may not be super well-known in America, but it’s a huge hit in the United Kingdom. Big time comedian Stewart Lee was part of the sketch show’s first rendition at the 1997 Edinburgh Fringe, but Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt returned with the sketch show in later years, winning the prestigious award for Best Newcomer. After 2000’s Autoboosh, they signed a BBC deal for three seasons of the show that many still binge and love.
‘The League of Gentlemen’ (1997)BBC TwoAlso in 1997, The League of Gentlemen took home the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 1997. Starring the not-at-all-famous sketch troupe consisting of Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, and Jeremy Dyson, The League of Gentlemen was later adapted for radio, television, and film, incorporating comedy and the thrilling nature of Royston Vasey.
‘Nanette’ (2017)NetflixLike Baby Reindeer and Fleabag, Hannah Gadsby’s hour-long show was a hit at the Edinburgh Fringe. They took home the Edinburgh Comedy Award and the show gained new life as a Netflix standup special. However, since its popularity boom, several standup comedians have taken to social media platforms to claim that Nanette “isn’t standup” because of its depth into subjects like homophobia and sexual violence. But Hannah did something even better than comedy — they transformed the genre entirely, paving the way for projects like Baby Reindeer while still becoming one of the most famous comedians in the world.
When it comes to original movies, it’s tough seeing anything beating Moritz Mohr’s Boy Kills World in 2024. Part John Wick, part Quentin Tarantino’s wicked sense of satire, and a whole lot of fake blood and gore, this revenge story about Boy (Bill Skarsgård) hunting down Hilda Van Der Koy (Famke Janssen) for killing his family is an acquired taste. Yet, despite the violence on display, Boy Kills World harbors a strong anti-violence message that’s hidden behind all the brutal action on display.
Be warned: Spoilers ahead.
Multiple bad guys feel Hilda Van Der Koy went too far.It isn’t unusual for foot soldiers to switch allegiances in a movie, especially when their hides are on the line. However, in Boy Kills World, two prominent antagonists, who are related to the ultimate baddie, confess to Boy that Hilda has gone on for too long and they want to see the reign of terror stop. First up is Glen Van Der Koy (Sharlto Copley), who offers his assistance to Boy and Basho (Andrew Koji) in locating Hilda. Sure, his help doesn’t last too long after Basho unwittingly drops a bench vice on his head–and his stooging turn is questionable here–but it’s the thought that counts, okay?
Later in the film, Gideon Van Der Koy (Brett Goldman) bemoans how the annual Culling events are nothing more than glorified massacres. Despite Gideon also having played a role in all the violence, he acknowledges it needs to stop. Essentially, he gives both the encouragement and tools for Boy to end it once and for all.
What’s striking about the twist in Glen and Gideon’s shared behavior is the self-awareness of how the violence isn’t helping matters. While they have undoubtedly profited from Hilda’s bloodlust and enjoy a cozy lifestyle, they are acutely aware that this doesn’t benefit anyone in the long run. They reached the point where enough is enough.
Violence begets violence in ‘Boy Kills World.’LionsgateThe biggest twist in Boy Kills World takes place when it’s revealed that Boy murdered the Shaman’s (Yayan Ruhian) family and is none other than Hilda’s son. Instead of the Shaman killing Boy, he brainwashed and turned him into an assassin to get revenge on the Van Der Koys. The revelation changes everything, but it highlights something important here: Violence only breeds violence as hurt people hurt people.
Anyone can relate to the Shaman’s rage. He watched his entire family be killed. However, Boy is also a victim of violence as it’s Hilda who forces him to commit the act. Out of pain, Shaman commits to dissolving Boy’s memories and turning him into his weapon of war. In the end, though, this doesn’t bring back Shaman’s family. All he does is destroy another child in his quest for vengeance.
Similarly, Boy needs to face the realization of his own complicity in the murder of the Shaman’s family as well as being programmed to become a killing machine. It’s clear the constant hallucinations of Mina (Quinn Copeland) are a reflection of his conscience crying out to him, as he understands violence isn’t the solution. At his core, he’s still a boy who has been broken by the cruelty of those who used him as their pawn.
Boy and Mina choose a different path in the end.LionsgateMake no mistake about it, when Boy and Mina/June27 (Jessica Rothe) find out the truth, they are forced to scratch, claw, and slash for survival. They unleash a level of violence that neither of them has likely experienced before–both against Hilda, her guards, and the Shaman. In the end, they understand they’re free and able to live their lives how they choose. It’s a chance for them to break the cycle and choose new paths to follow.
Looking back at all the bodies in their wake, it serves as a reminder of how the violence changed nothing and brought heartache to everyone. The only time they feel different–alive–is when they realize they have each other once again, when they are able to share smiles and memories. Moral of the story: Choose macarons, not weapons.
These amazing shows deserve to stay on everyone’s watchlists.
By its very nature, television is all about what’s new, sweeping audiences to exciting new locations and enthralling us with their original narrative storylines. As a nostalgia-loving culture, we all tend to look back fondly at certain TV shows, whether it’s rewatching old reruns of The Office on Comedy Central or geeking out about Star Trek whenever we head to Comic-Con. But for the most part, viewers are always looking ahead to the new show everyone’s talking about at work or gabbing about in between classes, preventing us from acknowledging the numerous other great shows that have come out in the past few decades.
As much as we all love Prime’s Fallout series or HBO’s ongoing House of the Dragon, it’s also worth remembering how many other well-loved shows have since fallen out of favor among contemporary audiences, from rowdy 2000s-era sitcoms to epic historical drama series.
Six Feet UnderHBOIn theory, a dark comedy series about a family of morticians seems to write itself. When it came to the final product, however, Six Feet Under somehow managed to exceed expectations, creating a series unlike any other to air on HBO. Holding audiences’ interests throughout the 2000s, Six Feet Under probed into the deeper matters of average human existence, from unfulfilled romantic relationships to difficulties in bonding with estranged siblings. But as Six Feet Under continuously emphasized, each of us is given a very limited window to make the most of our time on Earth, allowing us to (hopefully) approach each day as though it were our last. Watch Six Feet Under on Netflix and Max.
RomeHBO / BBC TwoA few short years before Game of Thrones captured international attention for its political nuance, Rome delighted viewers with its complex themes, intelligent writing, and thematic analysis of power and precarious political institutions. A rip-roaring study of Ancient Rome at the height of its military might, Rome detailed how the world’s mightiest empire eventually caved in on itself, giving way to violent factional disputes, corruption, and authoritative tyrants. Like its spiritual successor in Game of Thrones, it’s a drama series that’s bound to appeal to every viewers’ interests, presenting each of its historical figures as morally gray characters rather than stone-faced heroes from ancient mythology. Watch Rome on Max.
3rd Rock from the SunNBCThe ‘90s marked a golden age of phenomenal TV series, especially when it came to family-friendly sitcoms like Seinfeld, Friends, or Frasier. With how many great shows came about in the decade, it’s inevitable that certain series like 3rd Rock from the Sun might be overshadowed by its larger, more successful contemporaries. In spite of its meager audience today, however, 3rd Rock from the Sun still holds up as a consistently humorous sci-fi comedy series. Focusing on an alien expeditionary group’s attempts to integrate into human society, 3rd Rock from the Sun held up a mirror to the puzzling behavior that characterizes daily life, ensuring plenty of hilarity from one episode to the next. Watch 3rd Rock from the Sun on Hoopla.
Malcolm in the MiddleFoxBefore he was the criminal kingpin Walter White in AMC’s critically acclaimed Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston hammed it up as the absent-minded father Hal in the 2000s-era sitcom, Malcolm in the Middle. Following the dysfunctional family members of a low-income household in the suburbs, Malcolm in the Middle distanced itself from the down-to-earth nature of most sitcoms before it, doubling down on its off-the-walls humor in lieu of more cathartic sequences. Whether focusing on the mischievous antics of Malcolm and his siblings or the chaotic misadventures of Hal and his wife Lois, Malcolm in the Middle never had a dull or unoriginal moment in its seven-season-long run, boasting plenty of surprises in each of its 151 episodes. Watch Malcolm in the Middle on Hulu.
LostABCEven considering its polarizing ending, few shows have captivated audiences to the same extent as Lost. The premiere series of the 2000s, Lost combined an unorthodox narrative approach with Twilight Zone-levels of twists and turns, solving some of its long-standing mysteries even as it continued building new ones. Prioritizing characterization above all else, Lost’s nonlinear episodic chronology, flawed heroes, relatable villains, and taut blend between sci-fi, fantasy, and drama makes it a show as enjoyable now as it was two decades ago on ABC. Watch Lost on Hulu.
FringeFoxFor those in the know, “fringe science” encapsulates branches of scientific study that are purely speculative or incapable of being proven true (IE, subjects like ESP, parallel universes, or alien civilizations). Adopting that idea as the basis for an entire TV series, Fringe involves a group of paranormal researchers using experimental investigation methods to solve otherwise unexplainable supernatural cases. Borrowing elements of Lost and combining it with the procedural format of The X-Files, Fringe made for an endlessly creative TV series on par with Twin Peaks, propelling itself forward with its palpable mysteries and unique scientific concepts. Watch Fringe on Max and FreeVee.
FarscapeSci-Fi ChannelThe late 1990s and early 2000s ushered in a wave of memorable sci-fi series, whether in the form of cult-favorite space Westerns series like Firefly or inventive sci-fi dramas like Battlestar Galactica. Nestled into this mix of worthwhile sci-fi shows is the 1999 space opera series, Farscape. Following a ragtag group of interstellar travelers fleeing from a totalitarian government, Farscape harked back to the sci-fi splendor of Star Trek or Star Wars, utilizing ideas related to authority, independence, deep-space exploration, and the abundant mysteries of the universe. To this day, diehard fans continue to mention the series in the same breath as Star Trek: The Next Generation or Battlestar Galactica in terms of its depth and atmospheric storytelling, which is significant praise in and of itself. Watch Farscape on Peacock, Tubi, and FreeVee.
These unlikely rom com couples shouldn’t have worked, and yet…
There are the beautiful couples that you see on screen and think, “Of course.” They go together like peanut butter and chocolate, like tortilla chips and seven-layer dip. They’re the Ryan Goslings and Emily Blunts of the acting world. While those kind of rom com moments are fun to watch, there’s something extra special about the unlikely duos. We’re talking about romantic comedy couples that seem like an odd match on paper, yet they totally work on-screen. They have so much passion and chemistry that you can’t help but wish they’d find love together in real life.
Now, we’re not saying that anyone in these couples is inherently unlovable. On the contrary, so many of these people are beloved by audiences. Rather, it’s that the match-ups got skeptical side-eyes from audiences before they saw the movie. But once we all saw these couples on screen? Oh boy, it’s like they’ve belonged together all along.
Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron in Long Shot (2019)LionsgateSeth Rogen is no stranger to rom coms, sky-rocketing his career in 2007’s Knocked Up. While that early romantic comedy was fun, the chemistry wasn’t exactly there. It turns out, that’s not a Seth Rogen problem. In Long Shot, by the time he and Charlize Theron act on their feelings, the chemistry is palpable. I can’t imagine a world where they wouldn’t make a perfect couple.
Jack Black and Kate Winslet in The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesJudging by all the advertising for The Holiday, the filmmakers clearly thought Jude Law and Cameron Diaz would be the most-loved couple of the movie. Alas, as soon as we all saw the amazing chemistry between Kate Winslet and Jack Black, you couldn’t deny who the real star couple of the film was. And thus started a generation of people rightfully in love with Jack Black (if they hadn’t already gotten there thanks to School of Rock).
John Cusack and Ione Skye in Say Anything (1989)20th Century FoxNot only were John Cusack and Ione Skye an interesting casting choice for every man’s favorite 80s rom com, Say Anything, but it was also the basis for the plot. Lloyd Dobler convinces Diane Court to go out with him even though the pairing makes no sense. But just like Diane realizes in the end that they’re the perfect match, so does the audience about Cusack and Skye.
Amy Schumer and everyone in the cast of I Feel Pretty (2018)STX EntertainmentThis isn’t a dig at Amy Schumer. The point of I Feel Pretty is that she thinks she’s become model-hot when in reality she’s the same as she always was. It’s her unending confidence that attracts not only the loveably cute Rory Scovel, but rich magazine siblings Tom Hopper and Michelle Williams. When you see Schumer’s amazing personality, it becomes super believable that she’d be seducing literally everyone without even trying.
Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer in Warm Bodies (2013)Summit EntertainmentAudiences weren’t convinced at the premise of a woman falling for a zombie, which might be why Warm Bodies is such an underrated gem. While it wouldn’t be out-of-this-world for someone to fall for Nicholas Hoult IRL, when you add the undead plotline, it gets a little murkier. Alas, the love is believable in this A+ film, especially since we get it from the zombie’s ultra-romantic perspective.
Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in The Wedding Singer (1998)New Line CinemaThese days, we’re all well-aware that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore have chemistry. They’ve showed it time and time again, but audiences weren’t so sure of the match back in 1998 with their first movie together, The Wedding Singer. Up to this point, Sandler was only starring in silly comedies. With this film though, he showed that he can easily pull the likes of Drew Barrymore.
Patrick Dempsey and Amanda Peterson in Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)Buena Vista PicturesThis may seem weird now, but Patrick Dempsey wasn’t known as “McDreamy” in the 80s. In classic “take off their glasses and suddenly they’re hot” fare, Dempsey is the classic nerd at the start of Can’t Buy Me Love. It isn’t until Amanda Peterson gives him his cool guy makeover that you suddenly see what all the fuss is about.
Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In (1997)Columbia PicturesSalma Hayek is one of those untouchable actors. She’s the pinnacle of beauty in any decade, so when movie-goers saw her paired up with awkward everyman Matthew Perry, it seemed like an odd choice. Alas, when you watch Fools Rush In, you’ll fall for him right along with her. Some match-ups may seem weird on paper, but they just make sense once you see them on screen.
Every year, a new crop of TV shows shuffles off this mortal coil and slips away into streaming heaven, doomed to buffer forever. Sometimes we prepare for their deaths; other times, the shows die in shocking fashion. (Especially if they’re on Netflix.) In any case, there are hundreds of series that fans wish would earn a reboot or a final season, if anything just to wrap things up. To that end, here are some all-timers that we wish would grace our screens again. And don’t get salty if we miss your fave: There’s only so much room in one article.
The GreatHuluHow dare they cancel this after three seasons (“they” being Hulu)? This satirical sendup of Catherine the Great’s reign was already firing on all cylinders when it entered Season 3 in 2023, but it somehow surpassed itself. By killing off one of its main characters, the expletive-laden show sent the Russian monarchy into a spiral of madness, inspiring an awe-inspiring performance from Elle Fanning. Then, the meme-able ending, which weirdly predicted the meme-able ending of Saltburn, left several plot threads hanging.
GLOWNetflixFans were infuriated when Netflix canceled this 1980s-set series about the world of women’s wrestling, citing Covid-19 lockdowns as a pretext. Alison Brie and Betty Gilpin were unforgettable in their roles, bringing nuance to a story that was already a layered take on modern feminism. On top of that, the show was just fun, with a rich tapestry of supporting characters coloring its world. At least we can be glad it launched Gilpin’s career and allowed her to make Peacock’s one-of-a-kind Mrs. Davis.
Shadow and BoneAnother recent casualty of Netflix’s cruelty. Despite its vocal, active fanbase, this series – based on the Grishaverse by Leigh Bardugo – lasted only two seasons. Not only did this frothy, intricate fantasy series end on a maddening cliffhanger, but it never had a chance to develop its fan-favorite queer romance that had just started to blossom.
Happy EndingsABCThis show is hard to explain because its elevator pitch – Friends but make it Chicago – doesn’t exactly inspire FOMO. But the jokes came a mile a minute on this show, with the bonus that they preserved a window into mid-aughts popular culture. Plus, the show nearly revolutionized pop culture depictions of queer people, blessing viewers with loveable gay Max, who was a slob with a beer belly. You must remember that, at this time, most gay characters on TV were in the Jack McFarland vein. In any case, Happy Endings did not live up to its title, and it faded away after three seasons.
One of Us is LyingPeacockOK, we didn’t say that all these shows were Emmy-worthy. Instead, Peacock’s One of Us is Lying was just solid popcorn entertainment with intriguing mysteries and hot main characters. But it departed us in 2022 after only two seasons, leaving a maddening “To Be Continued…” that will haunt viewers for the rest of time.
RebootHuluHow ironic that we’re clamoring for a show called Reboot to get another season. But we promise that we’re not just doing this for the meta of it all. Reboot, which ran for only one season in 2022, earned two Critics’ Choice nominations, including one for Best Comedy Series – and for good reason. This show was consistently hilarious in its skewering of Hollywood, remakes, and, well, reboots, and it inexplicably starred both Rachel Bloom from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Johnny Knoxville of Jackass. You rooted for the writers and actors on the show’s fictional rebooted sitcom, even as they faced impossible circumstances, and its premature cancellation implied that Hulu never gave it a good chance to begin with.
A Black Lady Sketch ShowHBOWe should probably just be grateful that we got four seasons of this show, for in that time, BLSS blessed us with sketches about not only black hair and Hoteps, but Jesus, the apocalypse, and Patti LaBelle. But that didn’t make the news of this show’s cancellation any more palatable. Courtroom Kiki and Bad Bitch Support Group (starring Angela Bassett!!) are absolute classics of televisual cinema.
Every rom-com has a couple that falls in love with each other, but we also fall in love with them. From the writing and characters to the actors, every aspect of the romantic pairing elicits our love. And sometimes, when actors pair up again and again, it makes it that much easier for us to fall for them. It’s kind of like starting a relationship three dates in–if we’ve seen them fall in love on screen before, we want it to happen again.
This has created a trend of actors who just can’t seem to stop co-starring together. Sometimes, this is because they’re behind the production of the film and know who they like to work with. Other times, it’s simply because the director knows those two actors have the chemistry they’re looking for. Regardless, typically when a couple comes back together, we love it, so here are some of our favorites.
Adam Sandler and Drew BarrymoreNew Line CinemaWe were definitely inspired to look at the pattern thanks to Adam and Drew, who notoriously filmed three rom-coms together and are now looking for a fourth. Their first film together was The Wedding Singer in 1998, which Adam often credits as the film that turned him into a romantic lead. Before that, he was just a goofy comedian! His chemistry with Drew definitely contributed to that–something about her naïve openness brings out the best in Adam, which continues to their next two films, 50 First Dates (2004) and Blended (2014).
Ginger Rogers and Fred AstaireRKO Radio PicturesRepeat romantic film pairings aren’t just a thing of the present! In fact, many old-school movie stars would consistently act opposite one another because there were fewer blockbuster stars in those days. And no one could dance, sing, and act like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, who starred together in Top Hat (1935), Swing Time (1936), and Shall We Dance (1937), among others.
Emma Stone and Ryan GoslingLionsgateEmma and Ryan are our modern-day Ginger and Fred — they’re easy to love, multi-talented, charismatic box office-breaking stars. They first starred together in 2011’s Crazy, Stupid Love, and when looking back on it, most people only remember the parts with Emma and Ryan. Their on-screen chemistry was so electric that it led them to act together again in Gangster Squad just two years later, and then the award-winning La La Land in 2016.
Bradley Cooper and Jennifer LawrenceThe Weinstein CompanyIf Emma and Ryan are the fun, musical duo of film, Bradley and Jennifer take a different approach. Their films together, which began with 2012’s Silver Linings Playbook, often have a more serious undertone that forces both of them into chameleonic roles. In 2013’s American Hustle, Jennifer went to lengths we had never seen before as a suburban housewife with a drinking problem. But the push-pull connection between Bradley and Jennifer led them to pair up again in Serena (2014) and Joy (2015).
Tom Hanks and Meg RyanWarner Bros.Don’t worry, we can’t forget our favorite Nora Ephron rom-com film couple! Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan started with Joe Vs. The Volcano (1990), a wildly absurd rom com that has yet to be rivaled. Their chemistry was undeniable. Luckily, Tom and Meg came back together in Sleepless in Seattle (1993) and You’ve Got Mail (1998), but we wouldn’t mind a reunion today.
Taraji P. Henson and Terrence HowardFoxTaraji and Terrence are the epitome of Black love and we are all here for it. Of course, they’re a longtime on-screen couple in Empire, considered one of FOX’s greatest shows, but their on-camera relationship actually began long before that. They starred opposite one another in 2005’s Hustle & Flow, which was a bit of a star-maker for both of them. That same year, they were also in Animal, although we’re ready for some more Taraji and Terrence magic.
Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor20th Century FoxOf all the Old Hollywood couples we could highlight, there’s none as iconic as Richard and Elizabeth, who had a notorious love affair (which included two weddings and two divorces). They were able to effectively bring their real-life love onto the screen, which also meant playing out the often toxic love between their characters, such as in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf (1966). Their legacy lives on through the romance in their films, which include Cleopatra (1963), The Comedians (1967), and more.
Of course, there are several other film couples we can think of, like Brad and Angelina, or Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, or Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. But for some reason, when we think of classic film couples, those seven duo are easily our favorites, and all we can hope for is that they keep making movies together.
Every nationality comes with a distinct sense of humor, from the absurdist jokes of France to the nonstop slapstick of America. In the grand scheme of things, the United Kingdom is no exception to this universal rule of comedic antics. Possessing a notably drier comedic style, British TV series specialize in toeing the line between comedy and drama, delivering a tidal wave of laughs even as they introduce more thought-provoking subject material as well. From classic sketch series to modern dramedies, these are some of the finest TV shows to come out of the U.K., delighting audiences across the pond and beyond.
Monty Python’s Flying CircusBBC1Perhaps the most revolutionary series to exit from Old Blighty, Monty Python’s Flying Circus forever changed how audiences looked at sketch comedy, influencing countless international series in the process (including Saturday Night Live, South Park, and, surprisingly, Wallace and Gromit). Breaking all the rules when it came to the traditional sitcom format, Monty Python habitually employed every branch of humor in their surreal sketches, from political satire and clever wordplay to slapstick and niche genre parodies. Without the Pythons’ contributions to pop culture, who knows what the current state of TV comedy might be like–although it’s doubtful it would be as rich, intelligent, and laugh-out-loud funny as it is today. Watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus on Netflix.
BlackadderBBC1A rare TV show that significantly improved over time, each new season of Blackadder somehow managed to surpass everything that came before it. Divided into four succinct narratives, Blackadder traces the misadventures of the titular Blackadders–a historical family that somehow always manage to find themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time. With historical settings ranging from Elizabethan England to the trenches of World War One, Rowan Atkinson pioneered a series as brash, crass, and unapologetically funny now as it had been in the 1980s. Watch Blackadder on Hulu and Britbox.
Fawlty TowersBBC TwoLeaving Monty Python behind at the end of Flying Circus’s third season, John Cleese set out to reinvent the traditional sitcom with his ambitious solo project, Fawlty Towers. Opting for a more farcical tone as opposed to the absurdist presentation of Monty Python, Cleese managed to create his own distinct TV series with Fawlty Towers, inhabiting all the core characteristics found within tried-and-true British television (dry humor, morally dubious characters, etc.).
FleabagBBC OneAmong the finest sitcoms of the 2010s, characterizing Fleabag as a comedy series is a lot like describing Moby Dick as a book about a whale. Forever eluding clear-cut distinctions in regards to its specific genre, Phoebe Waller-Bridge constructed a unique piece of television with Fleabag, flawlessly blending dark comedy with sobering moments of drama. Though a mere two seasons in length, every episode of Fleabag gauged audiences’ emotion in a way few shows were able to, leaving us breathless with laughter moments after getting us to sob uncontrollably. Watch Fleabag on Prime Video.
The OfficeBBC TwoAudiences with a faithful love for its American remake might find themselves scratching their heads when looking back at the original British version of The Office. But in 2001, showrunners Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant managed to revitalize the mockumentary genre with their series, paving the way for numerous American successors like Parks and Recreation, Modern Family, and Abbott Elementary in the decades that followed. Providing an intimate look at an ordinary office environment, The Office’s mundane humor and cringe comedy made it a series well ahead of its day and age. Watch The Office on Hulu and BritBox.
Mr. BeanITVAfter ushering in the rowdy and unconventional dark comedy Blackadder, Rowan Atkinson attempted to construct a more approachable and family-friendly sitcom–a feat he soon accomplished with Mr. Bean. Harking back to the glory days of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, Mr. Bean provided an unorthodox throwback to early silent comedy, as seen through its title character’s wordless adventures across contemporary England. Utilizing more physical comedy in lieu of verbal jests or biting satire, Mr. Bean’s universal appeal helped the series win widespread acclaim across the globe, matching the popularity of other British exports like Monty Python or Fawlty Towers before it. Watch Mr. Bean on Prime Video, Hulu, BritBox, and FreeVee.
Only Fools and HorsesBBC OneOne of the longest-running TV series in all of British television, Only Fools and Horses aired intermittently from 1981 to 2003, spanning a grand total of seven seasons and 64 wonderful episodes. An endearing portrait of life in London’s working-class communities, Only Fools and Horses provided a narrative most audiences could relate to throughout the ‘80s, ‘90s, and 2000s, allowing for a show as warm-hearted as it was hilarious. Traipsing between energetic comedy and more cathartic sequences, Only Fools and Horses never failed to hold viewers’ interests throughout its 22-year-run. Watch Only Fools and Horses on BritBox.
When narcissists use these phrases, here’s what they really mean. A researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy shares the nine phrases that narcissists and psychopaths weaponize against their relationship partners to emotionally invalidate and gaslight them.
“We’re in this together. I am so looking forward to a future with you.”When narcissists and psychopaths say this phrase, the future they are referring to is not the one they’re faking with you but rather the hidden agenda they have up their sleeve as they get you invested in them through love bombing. In a romantic relationship, this might mean anything from using you for sex, an ego stroke, a back-up plan, an addition to their harem, a place to live, or a way to con you and leech off your resources in the cases of psychopaths with parasitic lifestyles. Once they’ve fulfilled their agenda, they couldn’t care less — and to them, it’s a form of “winning” and they experience a sense of duping delight when they’re able to con an unsuspecting victim. Keep in mind, narcissists and psychopaths have to pull the wool over your eyes to “win.” That is why they become incensed when they see victims “win” (i.e. become successful, or move forward into their own future victoriously) even while playing fair, because that means victims didn’t need to play any mind games to come out on top — they did so on their own merit, competence, talent, and intelligence, while the narcissist had to resort to lying and deception to try to gain the upper hand.
“I wish you would let go of the past.”Narcissists and psychopaths want you to let go of the past even as they keep repeating the same harmful behaviors in the present. This phrase is used to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to avoid changing their unempathic behaviors toward you. In reality, if they truly wanted their victims to truly let go of the past, they should have stopped repeating it.
“Why are you always causing drama?”This phrase is weaponized by narcissists to gaslight victims after provoking them chronically and deliberately into emotionally reacting. The truth is, many narcissistic and psychopathic individuals love to stir drama and chaos by inflicting pain on their victims after they feel slighted or even for no reason at all but sadistic pleasure. When you call them out, they will pathologize your emotions and pretend you are just someone who seeks out drama and creates it, rather than owning up to the fact that they manufactured situations to make you react in the first place.
“I just need a break from all this.”While empathic people can request a break from a heated situation, they often communicate transparently and with integrity, not taking much time to get back to their partner after they’ve cooled off. Narcissists and psychopaths operate differently. When they ask for a so-called “break” from communication, if they even say this at all, it’s really a form of stonewalling and the silent treatment to punish you and teach you a lesson for fighting back against their abuse or manipulation. Many of them also orchestrate break-ups to exert power and control over you and pursue other targets or relationships on the side.
“Are we really right for each other?”Anyone can say this phrase, but when narcissists and psychopaths say it specifically, they are doing so to create an intense fear of abandonment and uncertainty in their victims abruptly after heavy periods of love bombing and after their victims have “dared” to stand up to them and defend themselves against their mistreatment. Such a question places the focus immediately on the victim and attempts to gaslight the victim into believing it’s their issue if they set boundaries or ask to have their basic needs met. This phrase also minimizes their abuse or exploitation of the victim as a mere incompatibility or a defect and flaw in the victim rather than something the narcissist can easily address and fix.
“You are crazy and insecure.”Truly secure people know how to advocate for themselves and express themselves in healthy ways. Narcissists and psychopaths often call their victims crazy and insecure because they do not wish them to find out about their transgressions or infidelity, and sense their victims may be catching on to their deceptive behavior. This discourages their victims from speaking out or doing further investigation to confirm their intuition.
“This isn’t about you.”Translation: it’s really all about me. Any time the victim tries to ask why the narcissist is harming them or tries to talk about their feelings, the narcissist may center themselves or may pretend their actions have nothing to do with the victim personally all while staging personal attacks and continuing to carry out covert sabotage of the victim that is all too deeply deliberate. They weaponize the victim’s fears and traumas they know will harm them. It certainly is about the victim, but in their distorted perspective, it is also clearly all about the narcissist and meeting their own sadistic needs. They gain emotional fulfillment from trying to hinder their victim’s progress and taking attention away from the victim.
“You’re asking for too much.”When a victim requests something perfectly reasonable and fair from the narcissist, something they have given to everyone else freely or the bare minimum, the narcissist or psychopath delights in trying to withhold it and make their victims work for it. They will make you think you’re asking for too much, when in reality, you’re probably not even asking for enough. They will try to depict their partner’s request as ludicrous or outrageous when it is anything but to try to make the victim feel ashamed of having basic needs and desires. This withholding tactic often takes place when the narcissist is dealing with someone they are envious of or feels is out of their league, so they feel compelled to bring them down to their level. The truth is, you were never asking for too much, especially if you gave to the narcissist generously. In a relationship with a narcissist, you were simply made to feel like you were never enough when you actually surpassed them. If you are trauma bonded to a narcissist, you are not alone and professional support is out there. You deserve to heal.
Joe Goldberg and Love Quinn are just your typical suburban couple. They go to couple’s therapy, both of them get jealous and insecure sometimes, and they struggle to balance parenthood and their personal lives. Oh, and just a sidenote: they’re both also murderous psychopaths. What was alarming about Season 3 of the television show You was that while Joe and Love were quite the unique couple, a few of their dynamics still mirrored some of the very typical ups and downs of normal romantic relationships, if you take away all the bloodshed that is. Here are the real reasons why Joe Goldberg couldn’t handle meeting his match:
He got bored when his “ideal partner” couldn’t continue to live up to his fantasy of the chase. Joe Goldberg may be different from many people, but apparently he’s just like many other emotionally unavailable people in the dating world: he lives for the chase and pursuit. And much like any psychopath, he’s prone to boredom and needs constant stimulation and novelty. That is why you see him creeping up on his neighbor as soon as Love Quinn and him settle down with their new baby. He’s bored because his image of Love as this unattainable pursuit has been shattered. His narcissistic traits led him to create an image of the woman of his dreams in every woman he fantasized about, where he placed these women on a pedestal – he created an ideal for every woman they could never live up to, and when he perceived a betrayal from them, he “discarded” them by murdering them. Love Quinn seemed to be that “ideal” innocent maiden type and that’s why he fell for her. However, once she showed him that she was far more brutal and just as murderous as he was, and served herself up on a silver platter, declaring to him they were soulmates, he was off to idealize another unsuspecting woman (or women, if we count his neighbor), just to regain the thrill of the chase again.
She showed him his true self and was too much like him for him to handle. Love Quinn seemed like the “perfect” match for Joe Goldberg, morbidly enough. They both grew up murdering to protect the people they love, yet descended into more callous crimes. Instead of an innocent victim of his charms, she was also a psychopathic individual (albeit, more of an impulsive, secondary subtype of psychopathy) who was willing to murder in crimes of passion and retaliation (or in the case of her brother Forty, protection). Although Love is certainly less experienced than Joe in brutal, calculated murder and clean-up, her lack of empathy and impulsivity can be very dangerous, as is shown when she hurts Delilah and Theo. When Joe is confronted with someone who is, in many ways, his mirror image, he is repelled because it shows him who he truly is and the horrific nature of his own crimes. You of course is narrated by an unreliable narrator who justifies his crimes, so we will never know the true extent of Joe’s darkness (though the end of Season 4 did seem to highlight his ruthlessness), but seeing some of it in Love causes Joe to separate himself from the psychopathy of his wife and compartmentalize it as something different from who he is. In reality, they’re both two sides of the same coin. Maybe they are “soulmates” in that sense, but Joe seemed to subconsciously believe that murdering Love was killing off the worst parts of him, even though he did not think of himself as dangerous as her in all his hypocrisy. In truth, however, it was a decision to ultimately save himself. Never trust a psychopath not to betray you when the time comes, no matter how much love bombing you experienced.
Two psychopaths together will always be a struggle for power and control. This show definitely hit the mark when it came to the behaviors of extreme psychopaths. Not only do they get a thrill from committing crimes together, there are scenes of them engaging in animalistic, primal sex from the euphoria of murder. Talk about psychopathic sadism. For a relationship between two psychopaths to truly last, one has to dominate the other completely. One has to be the “subordinate.” The TV show You doesn’t make it clear whether Love or Joe have the upper hand until the end, because Love is quite intelligent and intuitive, and can detect when Joe’s behavior changes. Thus, mind games and power struggles ensue, and two predators simply cannot make it work because one has to become prey. Joe Goldberg wanted to be the hunter, not the hunted. He perceived his wife as a threat to who he wanted to remain – a man who stalks women he sees as prey. Instead, he fell in love with a fellow predator, which he seemed to feel emasculated by (we’ll skip the joke of how it’s so typical for him to be threatened by a woman’s power and success). When it comes to the battle between psychopaths, only one can come out on top.
Here are eight things emotionally intelligent people never do in relationships.
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They don’t invalidate their partner.Emotional intelligence is defined as “the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.” One way to both understand and tend to another’s feelings is through validation. Emotionally intelligent people understand the importance of validation when it another’s emotions and experiences. Validating someone else helps them feel heard, understood, and appreciated. Mutual validation is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise.
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They don’t keep score.An emotionally intelligent person doesn’t keep track of their S.O.’s mistakes. They don’t tally up all the “nice” things they do for their partner to make sure that their partner is 100 percent reciprocating those kindnesses either. Instead, an emotionally intelligent partner throws away the scorecard. They know that there should be no sense of competition when it comes to matters of the heart.
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They don’t demand perfection.An emotionally intelligent person doesn’t demand perfection from their partner, themselves, or their relationship as a whole because they understand that bringing two humans together will never not have complications. Humans are all multi-faceted being with loud feelings, unique histories, and conflicting needs. Having emotional intelligence means accepting this fact and even embracing it.
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They don’t lose themselves in the relationship.The emotionally intelligent still invest in themselves and their own personal growth because they know the importance of having an identity outside of their partnership. They don’t want their partner to be their everything, nor do they want to be everything to their partner.
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They don’t avoid accountability or apologizing.Again, because an emotionally intelligent partner doesn’t expect perfection, they understand that they too are going to mess up. And when they apologize, they truly mean it and change any behaviors that need to be changed. An emotionally intelligent person is deeply aware that an apology without change is only manipulation.
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They don’t engage in passive aggressive communication.Emotionally intelligent people communicate openly, honestly, and directly. They initiate hard conversations when they need to be had instead of dropping subtle hints that they’re upset and hope their partner reads their mind and brings it up.
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They don’t weaponize their partner’s insecurities.In intimate relationships, one reveals a lot about themselves, including their insecurities. Someone with emotional intelligence would never use their partner’s deepest pains and fears against them. Instead, they are a safe place for their partner to share their innermost truths.
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They don’t try to fix or change their person.Finally, an emotionally intelligent person would never attempt to change of fix their partner. They understand this is not up to them, nor is it their role to play the role of savior. The emotionally intelligent person takes their partner as all that they are and loves them for that person. Not some potential version of them, not some future possibility. Them.
A 15-year-long study showed that emotional intelligence (EQ) was one of the biggest predictors of relationship satisfaction as well as the relationship’s length.
While some people are born with more emotional intelligence than others, it is a skill that can be nurtured and improved. Working on your own emotional intelligence can help deepen and strengthen your relationships.
He says they’re unrealistic. You suggest your favorite romantic comedy, the one that gives you butterflies every time you see it. The one that shows you the kind of love that you hope to find in your life. But he thinks they’re unrealistic. He enumerates the ways in which the love you find onscreen is unlike what you experience in real life. As if his movies are the pinnacles of reality. As if car chases and elaborate bank robberies are what real life is all about. But maybe it isn’t that the rom coms are unrealistic. Maybe he just doesn’t want to experience the kind of love that happens within those 90 minutes–maybe he’s incapable of the love you see onscreen.
He thinks romantic comedies are for women. He’s a man’s man, he’ll tell you. He likes boosted trucks with noisy engines, brews with the boys, fishing in the early morning when there’s dew still clinging to the side of his boat. You suggest a romantic comedy and he bristles. He cares too much about what the guys might say. They’ll see him as less of a man, so he won’t watch them. They’re for girls, he says. Don’t believe him. Gender is a construct, and that includes gendered films.
He thinks you’re watching them wrong. He worries that you’ll take the rom coms seriously, that you’ll expect too much of him. He’ll think that you won’t accept a quiet love–that your affinity for romantic comedies means you’ll require grand gesture after grand gesture any time you have the smallest of fights. You know better. Real life isn’t a movie. And condescending to you because you like a good rom com on a Friday night doesn’t make him a very desirable partner. It’s not because he isn’t filling your apartment with roses like in the movies–it’s because he doesn’t take you seriously.
His masculinity is toxic. The romance genre is wide and varied. There’s something for everyone in this film category. From the male-centered emotional journey of About Time or Say Anything to the silly romps of 13 Going on 30 or House Bunny, there’s something for everyone. And yet, he’s written off the entire genre, no exceptions. Why? He’s got no good reason. That kind of toxic masculinity isn’t what you need in your life. Where else in your relationship is he taking such a hard and gender-focused stance?
He doesn’t want to watch what you enjoy. It’s unbalanced. You want to put on your favorite rom com, but he convinces you yet again to watch one of his favorites instead. Girl, you’re not a priority. A true partnership has compromise. If he can’t even do this on your movie date night, it doesn’t bode well for the serious stuff. He only cares about himself. You’re just an afterthought. He’s not the leading man, he’s the guy you get over before you find the one.
Pick-me women are the “pick me, love me, choose me” Meredith Grey types that are always tolerating red flags — but worse, they shame and discourage other women from having higher standards because misery loves company. Women who are male-centered tend be dangerous to themselves and others (as they can throw other women under the bus for the attention of a man), and it is why it’s important to understand the red flags they tolerate that differ from women with high standards. I use the term “alpha woman” loosely to indicate a high-value woman who does have those standards, and is confident and bold about sticking to them (not to be confused with the misogynistic way “alpha” is weaponized for males). If you have PickMe tendencies, it’s time to reprogram yourself. Here are the five dating red flags you should consider re-evaluating.
Coffee dates or “hike” dates.Any low-effort date should be avoided especially in the early stages of dating, because women naturally take on higher risks of violence and danger any time they go out on a date with a stranger. For most women in modern romance, dating men is a liability that takes away from their peace and actively places them in danger — yet they are encouraged to go out of their way to meet a stranger for a cup of coffee they could easily make at home or even worse to “go for a walk” with a stranger like a dog. I have dated men who (unbeknownst to me at the time) took me out to lavish restaurants and fancy jazz venues while taking other women to free museums or coffee. If a man wants to take you out for coffee, they’re setting the low standard early on that they don’t want to impress you. They may still focus their “best” most high-quality dates on certain people they do want to impress. Do you really want to be the woman who settles for crumbs? You deserve better. Remember, most men don’t think of coffee dates the way you think they do: they see it as a way to date and even sleep with multiple women without spending as much money or putting in the effort needed to woo you, while concentrating their efforts on women they do want to impress.
Why Do Women Settle For Coffee Dates?For some women, they assume a coffee date is preferable because it gives them the opportunity to flee quickly should a problem arise. But they forget that if a man wants to verbally abuse you or sexually harass you in some way, it wouldn’t matter if you were in a coffee shop or restaurant, on a hike or a flight to Paris— they would find a way to disappoint or threaten you in any setting, and they can still think you owe them sex regardless! If you’re dealing with an entitled man, he will feel entitled no matter where he takes you. Another comment you regularly hear is, “I don’t want to go through a dinner date with a man I might not like.” Yet you’re still wasting time by getting ready to go get coffee, to a location that may not even be near you, to meet someone who may be treating and spoiling other women to better dates, or using coffee as a way to entertain multiple women for cheap. Why go out with a man you haven’t vetted or chatted with thoroughly enough before agreeing to a date or don’t have enough information to even enjoy going on a date with? What’s the point of wasting this time? If you need to vet them, might as well do a quick FaceTime call through the comfort of your own home to test if you guys would have some chemistry face-to-face – this actually beats the danger of meeting a stranger for coffee without vetting them properly ahead of time while wasting your own time (if he doesn’t turn out to be dangerous, he might still misrepresent his intentions for what he’s looking for).
The “girl best friend.” In a previous article I talked about the research that shows that men seek out and choose opposite-sex friends for different reasons than women do with their male friends. To sum up the numerous studies, men are more likely to have sexual interest in their female friends, choose female friends based on their attractiveness, and report sex with female friends as a benefit. If you have a nagging feeling that your dating partner’s “girl best friend” is not a truly platonic connection where neither are attracted to each other, please take heed. Avoid men who have harems of friends who are women or a close “girl best friend” they seem to have a shady relationship with. Trust your intuition.
Weaponized incompetence or going 50/50.Piggybacking off the first red flag, does he claim he’s not good at planning dates and lack initiative? Does he expect princess treatment? Is he a frontrunner of the sassy man apocalypse, where he devalues women and thinks he’s the prize? Is he only excited about women’s empowerment because he wants to coerce you into 50/50 or premature sexual intimacy when he’s barely even courted you yet? Ask yourself why you insist as a PickMe woman on going 50/50 in a world that isn’t yet equal and where women experience a disproportionate amount of violence, are expected to take on the majority of domestic and emotional labor in relationships, are often led on by men who claim they want relationships but are actually seeking to just “hook up” and are subjected to risk life-threatening STIs or pregnancies, all for statistically less pleasure (hello, scientifically researched orgasm gap). With all the burdens women face in the dating world, do you really want to be in a so called “50/50” relationship that actually places even more burden on you? The world isn’t equal yet — real women’s empowerment is about looking at the current sociocultural context and realizing you deserve benefits to help offset the risks and burdens you take on as a woman.
Following or liking lewd accounts on social media. Pick-me women are rabid defenders of men following or liking other women’s lewd pictures and accounts. They claim they are not “insecure” and that any woman that has an issue with it must be crazy. Yet they’re the ones whose partners are announcing to the world, “Hear ye, hear ye, family and friends! I find this other woman attractive! And this one, and this one! Look at that bikini!” while publicly humiliating their partners. Even (high-quality) men have spoken out on this phenomenon and consider it an insult to the woman; some have said, “I would never want another woman to think someone else has something over my partner.” That’s a respectful man right there. The truth is, the most secure women are the ones who see past their social conditioning of accepting the unacceptable from men and what society has taught them to minimize and stand up to disrespect. If you’re a PickMe woman who shames other women for not tolerating such a glaring red flag, that’s your issue. Women with higher standards thank you for keeping the low-quality men away from them, but we hope you one day wake up and choose better for yourself, as well.
Inconsistent treatment or attempts to make you jealous.One minute he’s showering you with attention, flattery, praise. The next he’s withholding and withdrawing and pretending to have other women chasing them. Pick-up artists call this the “dread game” and it’s used as a way to neg women that are out of their league and get you to lower your standards. Don’t fall for this trap. You don’t deserve hot and cold behavior or toxic uncertainty. You deserve a partner who’s sure about you. You deserve a man who knows your worth and treats you as irreplaceable.
We all have our favorite SNL characters. Is your favorite on our list?
As one of the longest-running sketch comedy series of all time, Saturday Night Live has given an endearing platform to some of the greatest comedians of the 20th and 21st centuries. As integral as the cast members were in guaranteeing SNL’s continued success over the past five decades, viewers shouldn’t overlook the importance of the series’ recurring lineup of characters as well.
Tailoring each of their quirky characters to the sensibilities of their cast members, these SNL characters achieved sensational popularity among mainstream audiences the moment they debuted on television. Achieving breakout success in the larger pop culture landscape, these characters continue to define SNL years later, whether discussing hyper-competitive Austrian bodybuilders or overly caffeinated motivational speakers.
StefonIt’s difficult to think of an SNL character whose fame surpasses Stefon. The eccentric city-life correspondent on “Weekend Update,” Stefon shined a light on some of the hottest pop-up night clubs in New York, each more bizarre and disturbing than the last. Between the hilarious scripts provided by John Mulaney and Bill Hader’s constant struggle to keep a straight face, everything about Stefon worked well, allowing for a standout character fans instantly adored.
Wayne Campbell and Garth AlgarBased out of a suburban basement in their parents’ house, Wayne Campbell and Garth Aglar served as the resident metalheads of Aurora, Illinois. The enthusiastic co-hosts of the regional talk show “Wayne’s World,” Wayne and Garth took their love of the music industry very seriously, inviting all kinds of special guests onto their program to discuss their shared appreciation for all things music-related. For proof of their popularity, just look at the number of inventive catchphrases the duo have introduced to pop culture, including “schwing,” “extreme close-up,” and, of course, “Rock on, Wayne.”
Matt FoleyAn easily excitable motivational speaker prone to screaming his heart-to-heart speeches, Matt Foley’s hot-tempered attitude made him the exact opposite of an effective public speaker. Delivering his lines with the explosive veracity of a WWE wrestler, Matt Foley’s scared-straight tactics seemed like a less-than-subtle cry for help, complete with Foley solemnly warning his clients about one day “living in a van down by the river” should they continue down the road they’re currently on.
The Church LadyThe passive aggressive host of “Church Chat,” The Church Lady wielded verbal takedowns with the brilliance and grace of an insult comic, leading her to put-down each and every one of the guests she invited on her show. Despite her seemingly mild-mannered personality, The Church Lady proved herself anything but, with Dana Carvey’s matronly TV host unleashing her barbed tongue the moment she appeared on-screen. From insulting Madonna to physically punishing Rob Lowe, no one was safe from The Church Lady’s wrath whenever the opening credits to “Church Chat” began to roll.
Mister RobinsonA twisted caricature of the neighborly Mister Rogers, Eddie Murphy’s “Mister Robinson’s Neighborhood” invited audiences into the dilapidated apartment of Mister Robinson–an unemployed city resident struggling to eke out a living for himself. Speaking in a hushed voice and directly addressing the viewers at home, Mister Robinson’s gentle manner dramatically clashed with his abrupt fits of anger–allowing for plenty of laugh-out-loud moments when audiences least expected it.
Debbie DownerThe personification of a glass half empty kind of gal, Debbie Downer managed to find the downside to every situation, no matter how seemingly enjoyable they were on the surface. From ruining a Walt Disney World vacation to undermining a home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner, Debbie’s unwavering pessimism and depressing factoids could suck the fun out of any scenario, often resulting in some truly hilarious skits and segments.
Hans and FranzThe beefy co-hosts of “Pumping Up with Hans and Franz,” Hans and Franz directly parodied Austria’s famous bodybuilder-turned-actor Arnold Schwarzenegger (a celebrity who even appeared in one of the duo’s sketches). Obsessed with their physical appearance and constantly trying to “pump up” the average viewer, Hans and Franz’s commitment to exercise, nutrition, and physical fitness knew no bounds.
In March, history was made when Avatar: The Last Airbender was adapted into a live-action reboot that was considered passable by fans. When a former live action version was so bad that it turned fans off the franchise altogether, we were worried about Netflix’s eight-episode attempt. There’s something so magical and innocent about Nickelodeon’s original Avatar: The Last Airbender and even its sequel, The Legend of Korra.
While Netflix’s version is still enjoyable, it doesn’t hold the same joy and wonder as the original series. With today’s technology, animated series that we never thought could be adapted into live action now have that capability (with big budgets and lots of CGI, of course). But just because they can be adapted doesn’t mean they should be. Sometimes, the original magic of a first go at a series is what makes it special. And there are plenty of animated series that should never be adapted into a live action version.
The Rugrats (1991 – 2004)NickelodeonThis might be kind of obvious, but if The Rugrats went live-action, it would just be creepy. Imagine CGI talking babies? That’s not something I ever want to picture. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Angelica, Suzie (and later Kimmy) have rapport and imaginations unlike any other show since. But a live-action version would require either aging the characters up from babies into kids, which eliminates some of the show’s innocence, or somehow making babies talk. Plus, because they often go on imaginary adventures to strange lands, The Rugrats in real life would require a pretty big budget and set design department.
The Magic School Bus (1994 – 1997)PBSWho else remembers learning about the biology because of Ms. Frizzle’s field trip inside a real human’s body? The Magic School Bus made impossible adventures a reality, such as time and space travel, all in the service of education. While rewatching it today is always a great time–Lily Tomlin was the voice of Ms. Frizzle so it was a pretty high-quality show–a live-action reboot would require quite a bit of effort for a pretty low pay-off. We doubt many adults would watch the series, and without the art of the animation, the adventures could lose some of their quirky creativity.
Adventure Time (2010 – 2018)Cartoon NetworkAdventure Time is already weird enough without adding in special effects and actual human bodies. Between its animation style playing its own role in the show and the nature of the ever-changing magical scenery, a live-action reboot would read more like an Ari Astor film and less like a kid-friendly dream world.
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999 – )NickelodeonYes, most of the cartoons on this list would just be plain odd if adapted into a live-action reboot, and SpongeBob SquarePants definitely deserves to be on that list. Funnily enough, it was adapted into a Broadway musical, which is about as live-action as it can get, and it was actually an incredibly moving, funny, and impressive musical. But as a live-action series? No way. One thing musicals and cartoons have in common is that they can and should be larger than life. But live-action series and films often need some sort of basis in reality and grounding. SpongeBob should never be grounded, and not just because it takes place under the sea. People dressed as the characters, like in the musical, would look tacky in a series, but CGI versions of the Spongebob characters would just be off-putting and unnatural, no matter how good it is.
BoJack Horseman (2014 – 2020)NetflixWe’re not just thinking about kids’ cartoons, which often lose their innocence in a live-action reboot. But adult cartoons, like BoJack Horseman, would lose something else if adapted into a live-action version. Much of the show is wrapped up in the art of the animation. Fantastical elements (such as animal characters and dream sequences) morph with realism to tell a story beyond a simple script and plot. BoJack Horseman uses the animation, along with the soundtrack, to elicit emotions of nostalgia, empathy, hopelessness, and more. If we brought some of those magical realism elements into live-action, I can’t help but worry that BoJack would lose its emotional heart, simply replacing that with the goofiness of a talking horse.
Skip all the duds and follow this list if you want a Netflix movie night full of rom com gems.
We could all use a little dash of love right now. After all, spring is in full swing, the weather’s slowly warming up, and many of us would prefer to have our Nicholas Sparks moment in the rain. But what’s to watch out there? Avoid the duds with this comprehensive list of the best rom coms on Netflix in May. This includes movies just coming on to the platform so you can be first to watch them. Grab the popcorn and get ready to swoon.
Classic Rom Coms and Old FavoritesYou’ve Got MailWarner Bros.Joe and Kathleen simultaneously fall in love online while being bookstore-owning nemeses in real life. One of the best of the Nora Ephron era of classic rom coms, You’ve Got Mail is the slow-burn enemies-to-friends-to-lovers that you need right now. Sure, the couple falls in love in the low tech era of AOL Instant Messenger, but you can just imagine them sliding into each other’s Instagram DMs now.
27 Dresses20th Century FoxJane loves to help her friends and acquaintances have the best wedding possible, which probably explains why she’s been a bridesmaid 27 times. But when sassy journalist Kevin takes an interest in her story, she has to examine what’s really going on with life. Just admit it: You fell in love with James Marsden because of this movie. No? Just me?
Knocked UpUniversal PicturesAfter one drunken night together, Ben and Alison have to accept the fact that they’re now forever linked thanks to a surprise pregnancy. While things might have been a nightmare while making the movie, Judd Apatow still ended up with a sweet masterpiece about two unlikely people falling for each other in the weirdest circumstances.
BlendedWarner Bros.They had one blind date and now these two single parents are stuck at a resort together. Good thing their kids like the idea of them falling in love. This is proof that some families can be unconventional but still so full of love. (And it’s a great movie to watch after 50 First Dates–another Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler gem.) Blended arrives on Netflix May 1st.
New Fare and Hidden GemsPlus OneRLJE FilmsThe rom com you never heard of but need to watch, Ben and Alice are friends with the same irreverent and ironic humor, so it only makes sense when they decide to be each other’s plus-ones for wedding season. But in a platonic way, they swear. This one is often hard to find on streaming services, so you should watch it while you can.
Long ShotLionsgateCharlotte is going to be running for president and she hires Fred, the boy she used to babysit, to be her speech writer on the campaign trail. While there’s lots to love about this hilarious and touching romantic comedy, the real winner here is the undeniable chemistry between Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron. If they fell in love in real life, I would totally believe it.
Anyone But YouSony Pictures ReleasingA brand new rom com that came out at the end of 2023, this story based on Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing” hits all the classic rom com beats that have been missing from recent romantic comedies. Sometimes it’s just fun to watch enemies become lovers. This one is fresh on Netflix, so you can watch it while it’s still relevant.
YesterdayUniversal PicturesMusician Jack gets hit by a bus and wakes up in a world that has never heard of the Beatles. Doing what most of us would have done if we only had musical talent, he writes all their songs and claims them as his own. And boy, does he become famous for it. But it’s hard to have an honest and loving relationship with your crush when you’re living a lie.
Love AgainSony Pictures ReleasingMira lost the love of her life in a tragic accident and still holds on to his death two years later. Meanwhile, Rob, who was broken up with right before his wedding, starts to get sad texts on his new work phone. Will these two come together thanks to the old number of a now-dead boyfriend? Don’t listen to the critics on this one. While it was universally panned by pros, the audiences loved it.
Netflix OriginalsHappiness for BeginnersNetflixHelen signs up for a month-long beginner’s hiking trip and is surprised to find her brother’s friend Jake has signed up, too. How can she get over the end of her marriage when she has someone she knows tagging along? This is the movie I suggest any time someone asks me for an underrated gem. It’s perfect. You’ll love it, I promise.
Set It UpNetflixExecutive assistants Harper and Charlie just want some time to breathe, so they agree to set up their respective bosses. It’s a lot of work, but they’re used to the long hours. And it doesn’t hurt that they can become friends in the process. Is that what’s happening, or is something else brewing underneath all that friendly banter?
Love at First SightNetflixBased on a young adult novel, this cute movie finds two strangers falling for each other on a flight to London. But after saying goodbye to each other at Heathrow, neither can quite let go of the idea of their romantic moment. Will they find their way back or will it just be one of those meet-cutes that never went anywhere? (This is a movie, you know the answer.)
Mother of the BrideNetflixEmma has been in London for a year while finding herself abroad. When she finally comes home, her mom is just expecting to reconnect with her daughter. Little does she know, Emma is engaged–and getting married in a month in Thailand. This one is brand new and coming to Netflix May 9.
Morally gray characters, gritty storylines, and unforgiving twists–these are the best tv crime dramas and where to stream them.
Anyone who says crime doesn’t pay clearly hasn’t seen any one of the phenomenal crime dramas floating around television. While real-life crime does indeed come at a cost, for fictional gangsters like Tony Soprano, Walter White, Nucky Thompson, or Tommy Shelby, a life of risk is all part of the game.
More so than most television genres, crime series have provided viewers with a dependable supply of first-rate TV shows, from renowned AMC crime series to Netflix-exclusive period dramas. Constructing intricate narratives around their complex, morally ambiguous main characters, these television shows possess almost Shakespearean levels of depth and nuance, presenting storylines that captured worldwide attention from their first season onward.
The SopranosHBOMore often than not, when people are challenged to think of a crime series, the first show that comes to mind is the HBO classic, The Sopranos. A series that forever changed how audiences regarded televised stories, The Sopranos achieved a newfound level of respect reserved only for literary fiction or Hollywood-produced crime films. Prioritizing vivid characterization above all else, The Sopranos showcased a startling level of realism when it came to traditional Mafia-oriented stories, influencing numerous TV series, movies, books, and video games that followed. Watch The Sopranos on Max.
The WireHBOAiring around the same time as The Sopranos, The Wire helped establish HBO as a reliable source of entertainment for mass audiences in the early 2000s. An ambitious crime drama deconstructing Baltimore’s judicial system, The Wire provided an in-depth analysis into how societal institutions play a part in the spread of crime, from the drug dealers peddling their wares on the street to the reporters writing about it in the newspapers. Shifting perspectives with each new season, critical appreciation of The Wire only continues to grow more favorable over time, accounting its respected reputation alongside The Sopranos and Breaking Bad today. Watch The Wire on Max.
Breaking BadAMCSucceeding The Sopranos and The Wire’s place as the next prestigious show to dominate TV airwaves, Breaking Bad obtained the same favorable standing as the aforementioned series, right down to the multiple Emmy Awards the show garnered at its peak. Constructing its story around the average family man Walter White (Bryan Cranston), Breaking Bad managed to convey realistic growth for each of its main characters, roping viewers in through Walter’s gradual metamorphosis from ordinary high school chemistry teacher into a sociopathic criminal kingpin. Watch Breaking Bad on Netflix.
Boardwalk EmpireHBOWhen people think of organized crime, they typically think of fedoras, trench coats, Tommy guns, and souped-up vintage Cadillacs. All of this and more is featured within HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, an historical crime drama set against the American Prohibition movement of the 1920s and ‘30s. Exploring the rise of organized crime in New York and New Jersey prior to World War II, Boardwalk Empire also focuses on one man’s struggle to find his identity, coming to terms with his status as a powerful mob boss in league with notorious figures like Arnold Rothstein (Michael Stuhlbarg), Lucky Luciano (Vincent Piazza), and Al Capone (Stephen Graham). Watch Boardwalk Empire on Max.
Peaky BlindersBBC TwoWhile Boardwalk Empire does an exceptional job examining Prohibition-era Atlantic City, Peaky Blinders accomplishes a similar feat with their portrayal of interwar England. Set against the industrial backdrop of 1920s Birmingham, Peaky Blinders follows the exploits of the titular criminal faction–a working-class street gang led by Cillian Murphy’s traumatized mobster, Tommy Shelby. Taking advantage of its fascinating historical time period, Peaky Blinders thrived at illustrating new events sweeping across Europe at the start of the 20th century, from the burgeoning rise of fascism, socialism, and communism to the imminent arrival of the New York Mafia in international crime circles. Watch Peaky Blinders on Netflix.
FargoFXMost people correctly assumed it would take a show of immense quality to measure the award-winning heights of the Coen brothers’ 1996 crime film, Fargo. Yet the moment FX’s Fargo first aired, it was immediately clear that the series possessed every characteristic that made the original film so successful in the first place. Boasting exceptional writing, exquisite performances, and fittingly quirky characters from one season to the next, Fargo made for a more than fitting spin-off to the Coens’ Oscar-winning dark comedy. Watch Fargo on Hulu.
Better Call SaulAMCIn a twist no one could’ve expected, showrunner Vince Gilligan somehow managed to pilot a spin-off show every bit as engaging as its masterclass work on Breaking Bad. Providing a deft prologue for the opportunistic lawyer Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk), Better Call Saul constructed a compelling portrait around its lead character, illustrating Saul’s slow transformation from aspiring public defendant to the ambulance-chasing huckster viewers see in Breaking Bad. Watch Better Call Saul on Netflix.
At first glance, Michael Scott seems like a terrible boss. Truth is, he’s one of those rare gems you’d be lucky to have.
Anyone who has experienced the “joys” of working receives heart palpitations watching Michael Scott (Steve Carell) in action on The Office. The former regional manager of the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of Dunder Mifflin never failed to be chaos incorporated, as his wild ways of managing staff led to the most outrageous encounters and situations. Even though Michael drove everyone up the wall with his antics and endless desire to be loved, he wasn’t a bad boss – in fact, he’s an amazing leader. So, let’s take a look at the reasons we should all be following Michael Scott on LinkedIn instead of those newsletter-peddling grifters on the platform.
He supports people’s other endeavors.Let’s be real here for a second: Most people have other interests and hobbies outside of the workplace. While most managers give speeches about how that’s all fine and dandy but everyone’s focus should remain on the job at hand, Michael showed a genuine excitement for his staff’s passion projects and encouraged them to pursue their dreams. Case in point: Pam Beesly’s (Jenna Fischer) art show.
NBCWhile most of Pam’s colleagues failed to appear on the evening, or even belittled the quality of her work, Michael took the opposite approach. He praised Pam’s art and asked to buy one of her drawings. It wasn’t only a sympathy purchase either, as Michael hung Pam’s art right in front of his office to show the world. By putting his money where his mouth is, he indirectly gave Pam the encouragement to continue pursuing her art in a moment in which she almost wanted to pack it all in. He owed Pam nothing, but he chose kindness over anything else here and led by example of how others should treat their co-workers. What a guy!
He doesn’t like butt-kissers.Look, everyone likes to feel special and important, but there’s nothing worse than an obvious suck-up who only says and does nice things to get ahead. The Office‘s prime example: Andy Bernard (Ed Helms). At a point, the apex predator of butt-smoochers gets into a sickening competition with Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) to see who can win Michael’s approval the fastest. While Dwight actually likes Michael, Andy saw him more as the key to unlock his door to management. Yes, Andy succeeds in the end because the world of corporate rewards butt-kissers, but his actions didn’t fool Michael for too long.
There’s a reason Michael valued Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) more than the others in The Office. When there was a need for a reality check or legitimate advice, Michael turned to Jim for his opinion. (Let’s turn a blind eye to the time in which Michael thought Jim wanted his position and tried to intentionally sabotage him–but hey, not everyone’s perfect.) A leader understands the importance of receiving honest feedback at critical stages. Too often, the people who vie for the top spots are the ones who will repeat back to their bosses what they think they want to hear rather than what they need to. Michael preferred engaging with the rare authentic people in Dunder Mifflin’s snakepit.
He knows HR only serves corporate interests.You know how human resources says workers should approach them when there’s an issue? Yeah, don’t. Michael Scott understands that HR is only there to further corporate’s interests–nothing more–hence his reluctance to accept Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstein) as one of the team. Michael’s assessment of Toby proves to be spot-on, too, since Dunder Mifflin’s resident HR rep is a sniveling snitch. Think about it: Whenever something happened among the staff or there was a minor disagreement, it didn’t take too long for the news to reach the top brass of Dunder Mifflin, as Toby played office James Bond and squealed back to his superiors.
Also, lest we forget, human resources frown upon office romances, but that didn’t stop Toby from trying his luck with Pam and Holly Flax (Amy Ryan). Michael never tells a single lie about HR in his stint as manager, and his subordinates would be wise to heed his advice about Toby’s trustworthiness. To quote the great Scott: “Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”
He knows the importance of having fun.What’s the difference between work and death? Death doesn’t need anyone to fill out a timesheet. It’s a joke–obviously… maybe–but it’s the way a lot of people feel about the daily grind. It shouldn’t be that way, though, and Michael did everything possible to make every day eventful at the paper company. When Dunder Mifflin’s workers stepped into the office, they didn’t know what awaited them–and that’s the exciting part.
Michael would surprise them with popcorn and a film–or maybe he’d bring out his alter ego Prison Mike to teach them important lessons about, um… prison. In terms of team building, he brought them all together to make a movie–yes, a movie. During company time, and on Dunder Mifflin’s dime, the staff got together to create Threat Level Midnight. The film had a part for everyone and featured a bit of everything from every genre.
He knows when it’s time to move on.Gone are the days when people were lifers at a company. Work changed, and people move on for different reasons all the time. While it’s sad to see beloved colleagues embark on new journeys, it’s like the old adage says: “If you love someone, set them free.” Sure, Michael hurts when people like Jim take new opportunities and leave the Scranton branch, but he realizes why they do it and keeps his arms wide open if they choose to return.
NBCHe also gambles on himself several times throughout The Office, especially when Dunder Mifflin doesn’t see his value at critical points. In the end, Michael decides to leave Scranton and the company because of love. He achieved everything that he needed to and turned the next page in his life to start a new chapter. It’s a lesson for everyone: Don’t be afraid of embracing change, even when it’s hard… That’s what she said!
The romantic comedy is a genre that can be a hit or miss. Sometimes rom-coms end up providing unrealistic hilarity yet showcase adorable relationships that seem too good to be true, giving people higher romantic standards to aspire to. More often than not however, rom-coms can also glamorize toxic or otherwise incompatible relationships, making viewers susceptible to lowering their standards and minimize the red flags right in front of them. Here are the top six rom-coms that in hindsight should have been given more of the side-eye.
Bridget Jones’ DiaryBridget’s two love prospects are quite toxic in their own ways.Unbeknownst to many viewers, both of the two men in Bridget Jones’ life are on the toxic side. Her pathologically lying, arrogant, and lecherous boss Daniel Cleaver is certainly the most blatantly toxic of the two, but at least his red flags are on display for everyone to see – from groping her in the elevator, to objectifying comments, to cheating on her with another colleague, Daniel Cleaver and Bridget Jones are definitely one of the most toxic rom-com couples and they still are brought back together even in situations where he betrays her. Mark Darcy, on the other hand, is disguised as a “good guy” but what some viewers may miss is that he also has condescending, emotionally unavailable tendencies. Shortly after meeting, Mark Darcy is overheard calling Bridget “a verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, and dresses like her mother.” Who on earth wants to date someone with such a condescending, patronizing attitude? In the Bridget Jones sequels, Mark goes on to neglect her many times and seems to prioritize his career over her and be commitmentphobic, with his “redemption arc” being that the co-worker Bridget suspects he is canoodling with is actually gay. Although he’s certainly better than the other male protagonist of the plot, his bare minimum qualities (i.e. the ability to tell her he likes her just as she is) is only made to make him look like a good guy through contrast.
Knocked UpA woman endures a surprise pregnancy with a one-night-stand.Katherine Heigl plays ambitious reporter Alison Scott who has a drunken one-night stand with her complete opposite, stoner and slacker Ben Stone who works at a lewd celebrity website. Ben does not wear a condom, and Alison ends up pregnant. In one of the most ill-matched rom-com couples of all time, Ben and Alison try their hand at a relationship, and Ben presents her with an empty ring box promising there will be a ring in there someday. Talk about not being ready for a committed relationship, a family, or a baby. Arguments abound, and the couple only make up once Alison goes into labor and Ben finally takes charge by being at her bed-side – which is honestly the least he could do. Knocked Up romanticizes the idea that people should tolerate incompatible partners who they’re entangled with due to undesirable circumstances such as a surprise pregnancy, and suggests that someone’s initial lack of initiative or competence can easily change during one life-changing moment. Audiences should know this is not the way real life works, and that an incompatible partner (like Ben, who barely has his finances together, let alone emotional maturity) probably wouldn’t be the best long-term co-parent and partner to start a family with.
Anyone But YouHostility makes for entertainment on screen, but not so much in real life.Anyone But You is a popular new rom-com that stresses the red flag idea that the best romances are mired in chaos. Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Powell play former lovers-turned-enemies, Bea and Ben, that find themselves reunited in a destination wedding in Australia when Bea’s sister gets married. Both their respective exes are also invited to the wedding, which makes for an impossibly uncomfortable situation. They are compelled to pretend to be in a relationship with each other so Bea can avoid questions about getting back together with her ex-fiance, and so their disruptive fights don’t interfere with the wedding. Their friends and family also conspire to get them together. Seems typical enough for a rom-com scenario, but wait, there’s more: viewers discover that the reason Bea broke up with her ex-fiance was because “they never fought.” Sounds like a heavenly, ideal relationship, but it’s clear the romcom holds the message that fighting is an integral part of love, which is why the dynamic between Bea and Ben are glamorized. The movie starts out adorably enough, with Ben and Bea having a meet-cute at a coffee shop and escalates into a talk-all-night followed by a passionate night together. However, Bea sneaks out in the morning, only to come back and overhear Ben saying, “I couldn’t get her out of here fast enough. The girl’s a disaster. She’s a nothing.” Excuse moi? What’s with the rom-com male leads speaking so degradingly about the women they’re attracted to? Ben may have a hurt ego when he lashes out like this, but talking about women this way does not bode well for his overall character. The rest of the romantic comedy revolves around both trying to make each other as miserable as possible and ridiculing each other as they pretend to be together, and of course, inevitably fall in love through a few deep conversations and occasional acts of bravery. This is typical for a love-hate romance and the movie is undoubtedly entertaining, but viewers probably shouldn’t emulate such a chaotic relationship in real life, nor should they ever consider a partner who demeaned them to others.
No Strings AttachedFriends-with-benefits situationships are glamorized in unrealistic ways in No Strings Attached.Friends with benefits-to-lovers type relationships rarely work out well in real life, but rom-coms love to present an ideal fantasy of what could be. Starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, No Strings Attached is a classic rom-com that glamorizes the potential of having a “friends-with-benefits” situationship evolve into an authentic romantic relationship (which it rarely ever does in real life). Emma Kurtzman is a doctor in Los Angeles who reconnects with her childhood friend Adam from summer camp when he calls her after finding out his father has been sleeping with his ex-wife. They begin a “no strings attached” sexual relationship and Adam begins catching feels for Emma, becoming jealous of her other romantic prospects. Despite being noncommittal at first, of course Emma realizes Adam is the love of her life. There is barely any time for Adam to heal from the betrayal of his father sleeping with his ex-wife, and it’s clear that someone like Emma in real life would not be changing their emotionally unavailable tendencies so quickly. A woman who declares that “monogamy goes against our biological nature,” is unlikely to suddenly shift her mindset after a few weeks. Rarely do rebounds or situationships become life-long or healthy romances, but these rom-coms do love giving viewers false hope.
Love ActuallyLove actually is toxic.Does love truly conquer all, or are those your rose-colored rationalizations speaking? Love Actually is a unique rom-com in that almost every couple featured has a strange backstory that is more cringe-worthy than couple goals. If we had to choose, Mia and Harry stand out as one of the more heartwrenchingly toxic relationships. The movie begins and ends with what are meant to be heartwarming scenes at the Heathrow Airport where people are welcoming their loved ones with open arms, setting the scene for the multiple plotlines of the diverse “love stories” we’re about to see. Yet these love stories tend to border on unhealthy and toxic, even though they are wrapped up with an all too convenient bow at the end. This is especially true for the love triangle among Harry, Karen, and Mia – where Harry is happily married to Karen, a stay-at-home mother – yet he immerses himself in a disturbing affair with Mia, his young secretary. Karen’s devastation when she finds out about affair by discovering Harry’s Christmas present for Mia is absolutely awful to witness. Yet Harry and Karen are still together at the end of the movie, and Harry’s transgressions are essentially treated with kid gloves. The underlying message seems to promote the idea of staying together for love and the children despite betrayal and casts infidelity as just a cruising “life lesson,” rather than the dealbreaker it should be.
The HolidayA man who doesn’t call women back after sleeping with them is unlikely to change for the “right woman.”The Holiday is another romcom that could benefit from a reevaluation. Two women, Iris Simpkins, a columnist in London played by Kate Winslet, and Amanda Woods, a movie producer from Los Angeles played by Cameron Diaz, are cheated on by their boyfriends. They experience break-ups around the same time and decide they need to get away for the holidays. Instead of doing some inner work and healing, however, they fall headfirst into their next relationships when they switch homes for two weeks during the holiday season. Iris falls for Miles (played by Jack Black), a Hollywood composer who works with Amanda, while Amanda conveniently falls for Iris’s brother, Graham (played by Jude Law) after what was supposed to be a one-night stand. At the end, both couples live happily ever after despite the fact that the male leads are somewhat problematic. Womanizing Graham discloses he rarely calls women back but is suddenly willing to change for his “dream woman,” reiterating the harmful myth that emotionally unavailable men can suddenly morph for the “right” woman when in reality they’re very likely to remain the same. Jack Black’s character Miles is meant to be endearing and funny but is flirty with Iris even when he has a girlfriend and creepily objectifies her (such as the scene where he subjects Iris to an “accidental boob graze,” and some viewers are baffled why this scene was even included – it was just odd and unnecessary). Many people love The Holiday, and it admittedly does have its charms and can be an enjoyable watch, but the truth is it’s just another romcom that encourages people to get into relationships quickly without healing, to settle for the bare minimum, and romanticize the red flags.
Psychological thriller shows enthrall us and often feature mind games and psychopaths that keep us hooked. Here are the nine best psychological thriller tv shows of all time and where to stream them.YouJoe Goldberg has an unhealthy obsession.Hello, you. Joe Goldberg is just your typical creepy, stalkerish neighborhood psychopathic serial killer looking for love in all the wrong places (or perhaps the right ones, with all the wrong motives). In You, Penn Badgley gives one of the eeriest performances in TV show history. In four seasons, we see Joe become obsessed with and kill the women he stalks and claims to love, fall in love with a woman (Love Quinn) who has similar predilections, only to not even be able to handle meeting someone like him, and even go to England as a fugitive on the run, manipulating students as a professor. You is available to stream on Netflix.
MindhunterHolden Ford is an FBI agent that wants to understand the minds of psychopaths.FBI agents Holden Ford and Bill Tench and psychologist Wendy Carr lead the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit as they start to interview imprisoned serial killers so they can better understand the mindset and motives of criminals who commit sadistic and violent crimes. The show features serial killers like the BTK Killer, Edmund Kemper, and Richard Speck. Mindhunter is available to stream on Netflix.
Tell Me Your SecretsIt’s hard when your former lover turns out to be a psychopathic serial killer.It’s hard when your former lover turns out to be a psychopathic serial killer, and even more difficult when you can’t remember whether you also committed crimes alongside him. Lily Rabe stars as Karen Miller in Tell Me Your Secrets, the ex-partner of notorious serial killer Kit Parker. After she finds out about Kit’s horrific crimes against women, Karen is forced to relive her romantic history with Kit while being hunted down by one of the mothers of Kit’s victims. However, all is not what it seems and the real psychopaths in sheep’s clothing are yet to be discovered. Available to stream on Amazon Prime.
Behind Her EyesBehind Her Eyes has one of the most shocking plot twists of all time.What seems like your typical “husband has affair” television show has one of the biggest plot twists of all time in Behind Your Eyes, a mind-bending psychological thriller about Louise, single mother who begins a love affair with her new boss David, and a strangely alluring friendship with his wife. However, the relationship between David and his wife holds deeper, darker secrets that no one could have ever imagined. This is one television show we can confidently say has a surprise ending you will never see coming. Behind Her Eyes is available to stream on Netflix.
The StrangerA stranger promises to reveal all secrets.Harlan Corben’s The Stranger stars Richard Armitage as Adam Price. When Adam is approached by a mysterious stranger in a baseball hat claiming to know secrets about his wife, Corinne, Corinne disappears and Adam is forced to grapple with the true nature of the people he loves the most. The Stranger is a suspenseful tv thriller that also has a surprise plot twist ending no one could have foreseen and is available to stream on Netflix.
ClickbaitA tale about social media and kidnapping.A father goes missing, and his loved ones are sent a viral video where he holds up a sign saying he abuses women, and he will die if the video receives five million views. Zoe Kazan stars as Pia Brewer in this psychological thriller drama, Nick’s younger sister who helps to uncover the truth of what really happened the night Nick Brewer disappeared and investigates whether Nick is really the predator he is being painted as or if his kidnappers have darker motives. Clickbait is available to stream on Netflix.
Bates MotelThere’s just something not quite right about Norman Bates and his mother.Freddie Highmore plays a younger version of Norman Bates, a contemporary retelling and prequel to Hitchcock’s film, Psycho. Bates Motel explores the terrifyingly enmeshed relationship between Norman and his mother as Norman becomes more and more dangerous. Bates Motel is available to stream on Amazon Prime.
DexterDexter is just your friendly neighborhood sociopath, a blood splatter analyst by day and a serial killer of serial killers by night. He only kills the “bad guys” but occasionally makes mistakes too. As viewers follow Dexter through his journey as a killer who tries to flee detection and capture and cleans up the scenes of his own crimes, we also get a horrifying look into how he became the killer that he is, and how his “extracurricular activities” affect his romantic relationships and ability to live a normal life. Dexter is available to stream on Hulu.
The FallPsychopaths lead double lives.A detective, Stella Gibson, hunts down a serial killer who targets young professional women and lives a double life as a family man while confronting the demons of her own past. The Fall is a suspenseful tv thriller about psychopaths that will keep you on your toes. The Fall is available to stream on Amazon Prime.
When you cast a couple with the chemistry Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell have in Anyone But You, we’ll watch it.
As the resident romantic comedy lover, I have to admit the genre has been tough in the last decade. It’s rare that we get big budget rom coms coming to theaters like back in the 1990s and 2000s. Rather than a summer full of 13 Going on 30 or Mean Girls or Love Actually (2004 really was a killer year), we get maybe one studio romantic comedy per year if we’re lucky.
To be clear, I’m not downplaying the awesomeness of straight-to-streaming love fests. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m still obsessed with Netflix’s Happiness for Beginners. But where are the Meg Ryans and Tom Hanks? Where’s the big red carpet fanfare? Luckily we got a studio rom com toward the tail-end of 2023 that may just reignite the genre. Best of all, it just released on Netflix.
We’re talking about Anyone But You, the Shakespeare-inspired romantic comedy starring Sydney Sweeney (Euphoria) and Glen Powell (Top Gun: Maverick). After a sweet night together following the most adorable coffee shop meet cute, Bea and Ben fall victim to the classic misunderstanding–a rom com staple–turning them from budding lovers to mortal enemies. But they can’t just ignore each other, because they’re both invited to the same wedding.
Anyone But You has everything that’s been missing from the genre.Sony Pictures ReleasingIt’s been a long time since a romantic comedy came out that followed the formula while still feeling fresh. You can thank the indie rom com trend for that, choosing ambiguous or sad endings over the eternally optimistic happy endings that the genre was originally known for. You could no longer be certain that the couple would end up together in the end, a stressor few of us need right now. Luckily Anyone But You is much more like the romantic comedies that came before it.
Want to watch two hot people with undeniable chemistry fall in love? Want to live vicariously through impossibly rich people as they spend their days in a mansion on the Australian coast? Want to simultaneously throttle the couple for not being honest with their feelings, but also want to be them, stat? That’s Anyone But You for you. Could all of the couple’s problems be solved just by speaking honestly with each other? Sure, but if every movie did that, every film would be about one minute long.
Money talks, and Anyone But You might have proved to execs that the genre isn’t dead.Sony Pictures ReleasingMaybe we can blame the Marvel cinematic universe for the extreme lack of romantic comedies. Studios thought people only cared about superheroes or remakes of their favorite movies from childhood. Unfortunately, money talks. Luckily, Anyone But You was a box office success. It earned over $216 million globally, which is almost ten times what they spent making it. Add in the fact that it has earned a Rotten Tomatoes audience score of 87% and that might be a good sign that we’ll be having a rom com renaissance. (Fingers crossed.)
Catch Anyone But You on NetflixYou can now stream Anyone But You on Netflix.
We have gotten used to regurgitating a certain myth: true narcissism is rare. People have not questioned this myth and even some clinicians will spread this myth without looking into the actual research.
On September 13, 2000, Almost Famous premiered in theaters with Oscar-winning actress Frances McDormand portraying the supporting character Elaine Miller.
Jaw-breaking uppercuts. Rib-cracking roundhouse kicks. Ear-piercing explosions. Fear-striking struts. Quick-tongued comebacks and snappy one-liners. Regarding high-octane action movies, the men of Tinseltown make up the majority of the cinematic space.
Going through a breakup? There's a perfect rom-com for you, whether you're feeling like you're in your revenge era or you just want to cry.
Sitting in Bars with Cake follows Corrine (Odessa A’zion) and Jane (Yara Shahidi) — two besties who couldn’t be more different but love each other and embrace their individual quirks and personalities.
Paul, Rex, or Jack? Who did you choose for Netflix's 'Choose Love?' And yes, there is a right answer.
Hi! My name is Lauren, I’m 27 years old and I have Crohn’s disease, which is a life-long condition with currently no cure. I was diagnosed in 2018 after being misdiagnosed with IBS for three years.
Living with Crohn’s disease can be a challenging journey, both physically and emotionally. The uncertainty, pain, and disruptions it brings can take a toll on your spirit.
Jaw-breaking uppercuts. Rib-cracking roundhouse kicks. Ear-piercing explosions. Fear-striking struts. Quick-tongued comebacks and snappy one-liners. Regarding high-octane action movies, the men of Tinseltown make up the majority of the cinematic space.
The great Joan Rivers once said, “Life doesn’t get better; YOU get better.” She probably followed it up with something viciously offensive about Elizabeth Taylor’s weight, but the wisdom still stands.
Dating a narcissist can be grueling because they lack empathy and an unwillingness to take accountability for their actions. It’s hard enough dating a narcissistic or toxic person when you’re not in the spotlight: but when you’re a public figure, everyone can see you unraveling due to the chronic abuse and mistreatment you’ve suffered. Yet understanding what these public figures went through can remind us of the red flags, the price we pay when we become entangled with narcissistic people, as well as the complex humanity and trauma responses of people we regularly expect perfection from. This can also help people feel validated in their own experiences and increase compassion for ourselves and others. If celebrities with unbelievable fame and resources can go through it, so can we. Here are five celebrities who have experienced narcissistic or otherwise toxic dating partners or spouses:
Britney Spears.
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Those of us who experienced the golden age of Britney will never forget this mega-famous pop star at her prime. For some people, Britney was their first ever favorite song, concert “VHS” tape, CD, and poster. She and Kevin Federline met in 2004 where sparks flew as their eyes met across the room in a “love at first sight” fashion. After a very brief three-month romance, they got married. This is a red flag in itself, as there was likely some love bombing and fast-forwarding going on; she and Kevin also had children shortly after the wedding. It is important to note that before Kevin met Britney, he was already engaged to Shar Jackson, who was about to give birth to her second child. Yet Kevin abandoned her and her unborn child for Britney Spears. Britney’s own marriage to Kevin Federline seemed to push her toward self-sabotage and reckless behaviors. Britney filed for divorce only a few weeks after her second son and had a number of public breakdowns, and understandably so: the stress of being with a toxic individual can be overwhelming and make you act out of character. As Britney noted in a now deleted Instagram post, Federline would refuse to see Britney even though she was pregnant with his second child at the time. She said, “But geez {Kevin} wouldn’t see me when I flew to New York with a baby inside me and Las Vegas when he was shooting a video!” She received advice from someone which she took seriously. “I got a text saying, ‘If you don’t divorce Kevin he will publicly do it to you’ Since I hadn’t seen him in a while I already knew it was over {and} I had my baby.” Britney was also fed up with the fact that Kevin would regularly go out partying and leave her alone to raise their kids. Kevin allegedly continued a pattern of cheating and deceptive behavior that was evident in his past relationship with Shar; he was reportedly cheating on Britney with an exotic dancer according to Today.
Parental alienation is another tactic narcissistic and otherwise toxic personalities use to gain control, pitting their own children against the victimized parent. Spears has faced numerous difficulties in co-parenting with Federline, who she feels has brainwashed and turned the kids against her. Federline even released private videos of her to depict her as an unfit mother. Spears’ lawyer, Mathew Rosengart told People in a statement, “Britney has faithfully supported her children and she loves them dearly,” the statement said. “Whether he realizes it or not, Mr. Federline has not only violated the privacy and dignity of the mother of his children, he has undermined his own children, whose privacy he should protect. Putting aside his ITV interview, Mr. Federline’s ill-advised decision to post an old video of his 11 and 12-year-old children was cruel, bottom-of-the-barrel stuff. It was abhorrent. In addition to demeaning himself and violating societal norms, he has now also created various legal issues for himself including, but not limited to, implicating cyber-harassment and cyber-bullying statutes, among other things.” Many fans have called out Kevin for exploiting Britney Spears’ money for years after the divorce; he continues to make bank weaponizing interviews about her and the kids. “It saddens me to hear that my ex-husband has decided to discuss the relationship between me and my children,” Spears told NYPost.
Lessons from Britney’s toxic relationship:Don’t trust the “spark” at the beginning of a love bombing romance without thoroughly vetting your partner. Do not rush into marriage and children quickly, especially if you have considerably more resources than your husband (you never know whether he’s exploiting you or planning on doing so). Marriages with a toxic partner only harm any children you bring into it. Ask yourself the important questions to assess both the motives of yourself and your partner when it comes to marriage and raising children. And remember that the way a relationship starts is likely the way it’s going to end as well: if a man is abandoning his previous partner and baby to begin a relationship with you, it’s probably not going to be a happy ending as it’s an indication of his deep-rooted character and capacity for empathy. These types don’t change for anyone, not even if you’re the biggest pop star of all time. At the same time, show yourself self-compassion. If you acted out of character in a toxic relationship and reacted to chronic patterns of manipulation, you’re not alone.
Selena Gomez.
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This one may be debatable to the fanbase, but it’s clear that at the very least what Selena Gomez went through was a toxic relationship that she identified as emotionally abusive. Her on-and-off tumultous romance with Justin Bieber made headlines for seven years, and only two months after the final break-up between them, Justin headed for the altar with a new wife. Throughout their relationship, allegations of Justin cheating were confirmed by Selena herself. She posted on Justin’s Instagram in August 2016, “Funny how the ones that cheated multiple times, are pointing the finger at the ones that were forgiving and supportive, no wonder fans are mad.” She wrote this Instagram comment in the midst of a heated conversation with Justin where she suggested he stop blaming his fans for questioning one of the relationships that he got into shortly after one of his break-ups with Selena. In an interview for NPR, Selena Gomez disclosed that when the relationship finally did end for good, she didn’t get a “respectful closure” from Justin and that she was a victim to a certain type of abuse which she later clarified was emotional abuse.
But even after Selena had already moved on, Justin’s emotionally abusive behavior toward her continued. During his 29th birthday, Justin appeared to taunt Selena by sharing party favors engraved with the message that he was glad he didn’t “get” what he thought he wanted, which fans deemed a passive-aggressive reference to Selena. This is a classic gaslighting tactic of toxic people post-breakup – instead of moving forward with their life, they decide to flaunt their new relationship to their previous partner, gleefully painting themselves as “not the problem.” Yet Justin’s perspective of both of his two major relationships are very similar, revealing that it is likely Justin’s destructive patterns, rather than the patterns of his partners, that are the root of the problem. Referring to Selena, he said, “When stuff would happen, I would lose my freakin’ mind, and she would lose her mind, and we would fight so hard because we were so invested in each other. Love is a choice. Love is not a feeling. People have made it seem in movies that it’s this fairy tale.” When it comes to his new wife Hailey, he told Vogue, “I’m the emotionally unstable one,” and confesses that marriage didn’t solve his problems like he expected they would. Hailey also told Vogue, “The thing is, marriage is very hard…That is the sentence you should lead with. It’s really effing hard.” Many fans have pointed out the hardships of this marriage and have criticized the way Justin callously treats his new wife – from appearing to slam a car door in her face to failing to dress up at a business event held in her honor. It’s clear that Justin’s issues didn’t magically disappear just because he moved on to a new partner.
Life lessons from Selena and Justin’s romance:Narcissists and otherwise toxic people engage in jealousy induction and create “love triangles” to pit people against one another. They will appear to move on quickly to other people while still drawing attention to their past partners. They do not enjoy seeing their past partners move on and heal. Their toxic patterns continue regardless of who they move on with. Do not be afraid to let go of an abusive, on-and-off relationship – you may just be freeing yourself from more years of turmoil. Don’t trust narcissists or toxic people to address their real problems: they will likely cast their abusive behavior as “everyday problems” when in reality it’s not about how hard marriage is. If one partner is lacking in empathy, the marriage will be difficult regardless of who it’s with. Selena did a terrific job channeling her experiences and emotions into creativity and success: it would be wise to follow this example after you’ve ended a relationship with a narcissist.
Amber Rose
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Rapper and model Amber Rose, who dated Alexander Edwards, Kanye West and Machine Gun Kelly, has been very honest and transparent about the fact that she has a pattern of dating narcissists. As she told Complex, “I had to go see a therapist, and she was just like, ‘You attract narcissistic sociopaths.’ And I am not mentioning no names. But a few of them have been that…Like, nah, you’re not gonna control my every move, you’re not gonna tell me what I need to wear, you’re not gonna tell me where I need to go or who to be friends with. I don’t have time for that s–t.” She also wrote in an Instagram post referring to her ex Alexander Edwards who allegedly cheated on her with 12 different women, “When {you’re} in love with a narcissist, your brain tells you to run when your heart says stay. Unanswered questions. Gaslighting. Stonewalling, Deflecting, Projecting. I wish it was easy for me to ‘fix him,’ but that’s not for me to do. The pain cuts so deep, especially when there are children involved.” Her other ex, Kanye West, is also infamous for his abusive and controlling behavior toward Kim Kardashian.
Life lessons from Amber Rose:Amber is refreshingly honest about her life and relationships and brings up vital points. Know your patterns. If you tend to become entangled with narcissists, it’s important to seek help and healing to disrupt the trauma repetition cycle. Adding marriage or children to the mix will only make it harder to leave – so never try to save a toxic relationship with further commitment. The traits of narcissism make infidelity more likely according to research. Even a one-time affair should not be dismissed as there is no guarantee it won’t happen again. Serial cheating and deception is abuse.
Sandra Bullock
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When actress Sandra Bullock won the Oscar for her film The Blind Side, she thanked her husband, “reformed bad boy” Jesse James in her speech. He appeared to have tears in his eyes as Bullock thanked him. James, a former high-school football star who was notorious in his youth for getting into bar fights and stealing cars, appeared to have redeemed himself as an entertainment bodyguard who opened up a motorcycle shop. Yet he also had two failed marriages when he met Sandra Bullock, and tattoo artist Kat Von D had accused him of sleeping with a whopping 19 other women throughout their mere one-year relationship. In fact, his most recent pregnant wife, Bonnie, accused him of cheating just this past year, calling him a “truly disgusting being” and sharing she was deeply hurt by his actions. The world later found out that Jesse James had cheated on Sandra with a stripper, and that this 11-month long affair began when she began filming. When Jesse James was asked about the affair, he confessed it was likely because of “ego, loneliness, distrust, which probably led to resentment.” But catch that last word: resentment. During one of the most celebratory moments of Sandra’s life, James decided he would sabotage it with his infidelity. Likely, he was resentful and envious that the attention was not on him. Cheating was a way for him to nurse his own ego when his more successful wife took center stage. Considering that five other women came forward with cheating allegations against Jesse, it’s clear that his patterns are narcissistic and have nothing to do with Sandra and their relationship.
Life lessons from Sandra Bullock’s marriage: “Bad boys” are tempting to date but cannot usually be reformed. Narcissistic and psychopathic people can certainly put on a charming show, but their pleas for forgiveness and pity ploys are hollow and empty. They tend to be pathologically envious of their partners and cannot stand when the focus is not on them. They will actively sabotage the moments in your life where you are celebrating and flourishing. If a man has two failed marriages and a past history of crime, it is worth evaluating why before you get involved. Even if he claims his childhood trauma “made him do it,” consider whether he’s actually made the substantial steps to change. If he’s not comfortable with you being in the spotlight, he’ll likely lash out due to his ego.
Priyanka Chopra
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Before Quantico star Priyanka Chopra met her soulmate Nick Jonas, she tended to date narcissistic men. In a podcast interview with Dax Shepard, she said, “In relationships, I kept making the same mistakes. I was with similar guys [who were] a little bit narcissistic. I just needed to figure out what about me evoked that. Like, why did I attract it?” Chopra says. “A lot of the patterns in my relationships was my feeling gaslit. I gave that kind of power to the people that I was with, where I was like, ‘You come first.’ … I always looked for someone who I could be vulnerable with, never realizing my vulnerability gave this incredible power to my partner.” Chopra observes that she always had long relationships back-to back with her partners, not all of whom were happy for her or her success. Nick Jonas was considerably different from her past partners, as he was not only a gentleman, he showed pride in both her success and her beauty. He was and continues to be her biggest cheerleader.
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Life lessons from Priyanka Chopra: Don’t give your power away to narcissists by shrinking or dimming your light to make them comfortable. Marry the man who wants to see you win. If you’re a successful and smart woman, research shows that you will likely encounter some extra difficulties in the dating world. So it’s important to find a “Nick Jonas” type who is strong enough in his own masculinity not to have his ego wounded when his wife is in the spotlight. Nick Jonas was devoted in his pursuit of Priyanka and never stopped giving her the “honeymoon” stage. Most women flourish in relationships where their partner is extra attentive and – let’s be honest – loves and pursues them just a bit more than she loves and pursues him (although she clearly does love him a lot). You deserve a healthy partner who continues to court you at every stage of the relationship.
Ah, the ’90s, a time when flannel shirts were the height of fashion and pagers were our smartphones. It was a decade that brought us some of the most memorable teen movies ever made.
Netflix boasts its fair share of disappointing cancellations, and the platform has gained a notorious reputation for axing shows before they get a chance to find their footing or axing them right as they’re hitting their stride.
Suits strikes a unique balance between the clever storytelling typical of an HBO series and the over-the-top absurdity you’d find in a low-budget soap opera.
Superhero films have gone through many transformations over the last few decades — from the classically uplifting and virtuous Christopher Reeve-led Superman to the gritty and broody atmosphere of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight series. And now, we have the testosterone-driven, banter-filled, high-octane CGI franchises of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yet, between the grandeur and the gruesome, we got a splendid smattering of campy superhero spectacles like Joel Schumacher’s Batman & Robin and Tim Burton’s Batman Returns.
These films featured over-the-top costumes and dialogue just as vibrant and snappy as their comic book source material. The “pows” and “whams” of the comic book pages — the elaborate and sensational world that is intentionally larger-than-life — seamlessly transferred from page to screen.
Who could forget Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman: clad in tight black leather and adorned with a whip who backflipped her way out of focus? She skipped so merrily as she catalyzed chaos. Or, sliced a predator’s face — vertically then horizontally — while the words “tic tac toe” oozed from her lips with steady vitriol. She even whispered with a breathy authority six memorable words: “I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.” Her lip slightly twitched with disappointment and festering aggravation. Her performance carried a heightened undertone. She boasted an intentionally contrived persona — illustrated with such histrionic consistency as to draw a line in the sand between real-life villainy and the entertaining-before-threatening tone cemented here.
Then there was Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy who boasted two giant red buns atop her head and eye makeup that would make a drag queen swoon. And the way she delivered her dialogue with an air of seductive sorcery was at once flirtatious and threatening. Ivy tells Robin, “Freeze has taken the new telescope and turned it into a giant freezing gun. He’s about to turn Gotham into an ice cube.” A line like this is amusing in its simplicity, as it lacks the pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo akin to contemporary superhero movies that — though featuring individuals who fly and shoot magic beams from their bodies — feel an incessant need to aim for a degree of realism. Oh, and the way Ivy sashayed across her lair — hips jutting each way as if pulled by a string was deliciously deviant. Once again: flamboyance to the forefront.
There’s a sense of artifice and theatricality to Ivy and Catwoman’s villainy. They do not succumb to depictions that would have them mirror the likes of an everyday bank robber or homicidal serial killer, for they are intentionally so far from the threats a real society faces. Name a historical baddie who introduced themselves with a sultry whisper or sat atop a flowery throne with their hair blowing in the wind… despite the indoor setting.
The vibrant color palette and extravagant performances are directly in line with the camp aesthetic — subverting seriousness in favor of joyfulness and taking what is so often considered “low-brow” to make an artistic treasure — to make an experience that we can dive into guilt-free. We can sink our teeth into and enjoy the villainous badassery consequence of the campy detachment from reality.
Despite all the deaths and explosions, and the “we’re all gonna die” throughline, there’s an underlying sense of ease. Today’s comic book movies, in aiming to relay the woes of contemporary society — in trying to make some critically-worthy commentary on the heinousness of the “real world” — have lost the comic book eccentricity.
The fantastical flair of the POWS, BIFFS, BOOMS, SNAPS, PINGS, AND WHAMS have been supplanted by gray morality, capitalistic dangers, and the all-too-imaginable biological warfare. Superhero flicks have sacrificed flavorful fun in favor of “fact-leaning fantasy” — in favor of some sort of amalgamation of fiction and nonfiction. They blur the lines between supervillain and criminal, superhero and social justice warrior. And, this is not to say that these movies aren’t great in their own right. Rather, they feel like a far cry from their comic book counterparts. From the youthful bliss tied to turning the pages of a rainbow-hued fantasy world.
Comic books are innately campy. If you trace back their origin, you stumble upon pulp magazines and serialized adventure stories, which feature grandiose melodrama and sensationalized narratives. The bold colors, dynamic superhero poses, and heightened facial expressions all work to enhance the comics’ air of theatricality. You receive this larger-than-life atmosphere that does not (and cannot) exist on our boring, homosapien-ruled planet.
The black-and-white morality akin to traditional comic books also lends itself to campiness. Developing characterizations with such broad brushstrokes doesn’t create much room for nuance and, in the absence of nuance often comes the absence of subtlety. And if camp is anything, it is the antithesis of subtle.
We need campy comic book movies once again. We need the escapism of unrealistic threats with gigantic space lasers. We need our heroes and villains dressed in nipple-adorned supersuits.
It’s not to say that there is something wrong with the modern superhero cinematic space, but rather, something else should exist alongside that world where all the humor is the same, all the science is synonymous, and all the men boast a sense of humor best described as playboy meets boy next door meets teenage quipster.
Bring back the ostentation. Bring back the vibrant colors and the dialogue that’s just a little cringe. Bring back the catchphrases and maniacal laughs. Let us escape once more into our villains and heroes. And let us love our villains just as much as we love our heroes without feeling bad about it. For when a villain is campy — when there is no sobriety in their criminality — they become but a kooky caricature. Felonious but not foreboding. Treacherous but not tangible. This is the imaginative glory of the campy superhero movie, and that glorious approach to superhero storytelling deserves a return to the spotlight. We need a break from the cookie-cutter super flicks, and camp is the nostalgic answer.
Age-gap relationships. If you’re in your early twenties, mind the age gap when it comes to dating and relationships. The 33-year-old man who is telling your 21-year-old self that you’re so “mature” for your age is just hoping you’re naïve enough to believe this so he can better control and manipulate you. This isn’t a relationship: this is grooming. While you may be “legally” ready to date whomever you like, you’re likely not mentally prepared for the consequences when it comes to dating older men. After all, why is it that this older man can’t find anyone within his own age group to date? Could it be that women in his age group have the life experience to see right through him? Narcissistic and otherwise toxic individuals look for vulnerable victims to exploit – people who are either willing to not see the red flags or may not be aware of them at all. Younger women are considered an easy target – not only does the narcissist use them to raise their perceived status or as “arm candy,” they are more likely to be controlled and made dependent on the man. They are also considered easier to impress: if you’re in your early twenties, you may feel awe that your 30-something man lives in his own apartment and pays his own bills because as someone in their early twenties, you’re just starting college and finding your way in life. But you have to ask yourself: why would a grown man be interested in someone he likely has very little in common with at such a drastically different life stage? Your prefrontal cortex, that pesky “reasoning” part of your brain hasn’t even developed yet until approximately age 25 – which means you’re likely more impulsive and less thoughtful in your decision-making than you might think. There is an inherent power imbalance when you enter an age-gap relationship: that person has the life experiences and knowledge to know how to best destabilize you, coerce you, and traumatize you.
You may have a desire to feel sophisticated and taken care of. Perhaps you want a partner with more emotional maturity, financial security, and you think an older man is going to provide you with higher quality dates or experiences. But there’s plenty of high-achieving men in their mid-twenties who can also do that and emotional maturity is not necessarily dependent on age alone in men. For example, an older man who suffers from “Peter Pan” syndrome and never wants to grow up can be less emotionally mature than a man in his mid-twenties who has his life together and possesses empathy. Your early-to-mid twenties should be spent having fun, exploring different sides of yourself, pursuing your education, dating different men (if you want to), focusing on your interests, building supportive friendships, and pursuing your dreams – not catering to a predatory older man whose interest depends on the age group you’re in. You will never experience this decade of your life again. Make it count and do what fulfills you – not your dating partner.
Love bombing and future faking. Not every toxic lover is going to show up as Darth Vader. Some will come dressed as the knight in shining armor and Prince Charming. In your early-to-mid twenties, it is so easy to get swept up in a whirlwind romance and what society tells you your life should be like. As a woman, you’ve been programmed to center your life around men and romance. You’ve been taught by media to envision your wedding day and a cozy family life with the man of your dreams. You could likely never envision the benefits of the alternative: waiting longer until you meet someone that meets your standards and expectations or even a single, childfree lifestyle. You’ve been conditioned with pick-me habits of pursuing and chasing men who aren’t worthy of you. You’ve been shamed into having lower standards when it comes to choosing a partner for marriage and raising children because of your “biological clock.” You haven’t yet explored the world fully or met many predators (unless they were in your own family or were present among your peers) so you do not yet know how many actually exist yet. It’s an innocent – yet brutal – time because of what you do not know. Predators take advantage of this lack of knowledge and abundance of social conditioning to prey on you with tactics like love bombing and future faking. They promise you marriage, family, children; they take you on lavish vacations, buy you expensive gifts and flowers, and call and text you every hour. They say “I love you” and “You’re my soulmate” early on.
All of this seems deeply enchanting, magical, and romantic when you’re in your early twenties. You want to risk it all for love and get engaged to the first handsome man who appears decent. Advice: don’t. Imagine a future where all your decisions and agency are robbed because you decided to marry and have children with a love-bombing manipulator who ended up terrorizing you and your future kids – this will change your entire life-course trajectory and who you could have been – and it will impact future generations to come. Consider the early courting process of every relationship as a honeymoon stage – of course there will be butterflies, kisses that will feel like they’re part of a romcom, and memorable firsts. You should cherish these experiences, but don’t bet your future on them. Some of these men will be immature manipulators and others will have darker personality traits. Either way, you’re giving away too much power by allowing them to decide your future before you’ve gotten a chance to live.
Control disguised as love and generosity.If you’re in your early twenties, be wary of partners who claim they will “take care of you” while you forego your education, dreams or career, stay home and raise the kids. This is a trap that can derail your life, finances, lifelong health, and career. You have no way of knowing they will take care of you long-term or won’t (at the very least, get a strict pre-nuptial agreement that will compensate you for your labor and protect you in the event of infidelity or divorce as a stay-at-home wife if you choose to get married in your twenties). Contrary to popular myth, it’s not women who “baby-trap” their boyfriends or husbands – toxic men actually get full control once you’re pregnant with their child because now you are always tethered to them and you are the one who has to go through a risky pregnancy and expected to be a mother regardless of whether or not he stays or leaves – while he gets to carry on his “legacy” with no repercussions to his mind or body. Once a child enters the situation, it’s very difficult to extricate yourself from someone, toxic or not. Don’t go through a potentially life-threatening pregnancy for a man you barely know. Don’t immediately disrupt your employment history for a man just because you want to get married and he promised to financially provide for you – you will need skills to re-enter the workforce in the event of a divorce. Don’t travel across the country or give up on attending your dream college just because a toxic man said he’d feel more comfortable in another state. Don’t abandon long-held dreams of a career just because a man promises to take care of you: toxic men can be very temperamental and fickle and if you’re in an age-gap relationship, there are way too many stories out there of husbands pursuing another young woman once they’ve gotten their first target pregnant to make such a life-altering decision.
Perhaps it really is your dream to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, but you likely won’t know that until you’ve explored your interests and passions. What do you like to do? What makes your soul feel alive? What kinds of goals do you want to reach? Even if you want to marry a man who is a provider, create a financial safety net for yourself so that you are always independent enough to leave a toxic situation or an abusive marriage. You never know what kind of situation you will end up in, especially if you’re with a malignant narcissist who can mask his true self and hide his real colors for a long time.
Pathological envy and emotional abuse of any kind.As a woman living and dating in her twenties, you’re going to run into jealous and envious people, especially if you have goals and ambitions and have positive internal and external qualities people are attracted to. Perhaps you’ll run into envious co-workers at the workplaces you enter or encounter jealous female narcissists as friends. Most devastating of all, you might even date or enter a relationship with a pathologically envious narcissist. This is the type of man who will never be genuinely happy for your success, even if he initially pretends to support you so he can showcase your achievements to his friends to make himself look better. He benefits from being associated with your beauty, success, and popularity. Yet he appears to frequently sabotage you and your goals, or express resentment when you are surpassing him in some way. Maybe he starts crazymaking arguments right before important interviews or exams. He might discourage you from applying to your dream college, job, or internship. He could put down your intelligence or talents because he knows how far you’ll go and the potential you have. Familiarize yourself with the red flags of manipulators ahead of time so you are aware of their diversion tactics.
He could try to provoke jealousy in you and betray you just because he knows you could do better than him. He could even verbally or emotionally abuse you or stonewall you when you’re trying to have constructive conversations with him. Drop that man. He is not your biggest cheerleader, he’s your biggest culprit: his envy will be the baggage that will overwhelm you and deflate you each step you take. You will find yourself constantly mired in self-doubt rather than experiencing joy when you achieve something when you are with him. Is this the life you want to live? You’d be better off spending that time and energy going to therapy, working to heal your traumas, and building your self-confidence than spending your time trying to change him.
Being pressured to live together early on.In your early twenties, living with a man may seem like an “ideal” situation. Your boyfriend and you can spend time together 24/7 and even share the costs – isn’t that just the dream? Let me be the one to deliver the bad news: no. Absolutely not. Of course there are exceptions when this type of situation works out perfectly (when you’re in a once in a blue moon type of relationship where you really are soulmates and fully compatible with one another), but that is very rare. Many women who co-habitate with their boyfriends, especially at such a young and vulnerable age, end up regretting it. Not only do you get subjected to patriarchal expectations (such as taking on the vast majority of domestic labor, cooking and cleaning) before even becoming a wife while your toxic boyfriend gets to have a second childhood and another mother to take care of him (gross), you also lose out on the freedom of your twenties. You’re forced to spend most of your time with a romantic partner and can never escape them or the labor that is expected of you. Your social networks become limited. This is an ideal situation for a narcissist to control you. Ask yourself this: how would you feel knowing you became a live-in girlfriend, providing all the benefits of a wife to this man, only for the relationship to end and for him to get married to someone else after you did all that free labor? What would it feel like if you were trapped by a lease or financial situation that you cannot easily escape in the event of abuse?
Most narcissists won’t show their true colors until after you’ve already moved in, so that is always a risk. It is far better to live alone regardless of who you are dating. If you need to move in with someone because the financial situation in your early twenties is likely going to be less than stellar than when you’ve progressed later in life, move in with your best friend or a neutral roommate instead until you can live on your own. The freedom, peace, and joy that comes with not having to do labor for anyone but yourself is priceless. Resist the urge to move in with a mate you don’t fully know before there is even a legal commitment on the line. Do yourself a huge favor in your early twenties that your future self will thank you for: invest only in yourself.
Looking to taste the rainbow while falling head over Doc Martens for your leading protagonist? In need of a love story where boy meets boy? Girl meets girl? Boy meets girl but also meets boy?
We often hear the myth that narcissists and psychopaths make great leaders and employees – that it is actually their narcissistic and psychopathic traits which foster great success. Perhaps it soothes us to think that even though these cruel and callous people are malignant in relationships they somehow benefit companies. In reality, the research shows differently. While it’s true that psychopaths seem to get promoted at higher rates due to office politics, their actual skill sets and competence tend to fall short. A study by Babiak and colleagues showed that that while psychopathy was positively associated with charisma, it was negatively associated with traits such as “being a team player,” responsibility, management skills, and overall accomplishments. Another study in 2022 of 2,969 adults revealed that psychopathic traits such as coldheartedness and self-centered impulsivity were associated with lower professional success. Unfortunately, the drawbacks to having a psychopath as an employee doesn’t end there. Psychopaths also tend to be workplace bullies. Research by Dåderman and Ragnestål-Impola (2019) revealed that psychopathic traits, Machiavellianism, extroversion, and low agreeableness predicted bullying tactics in the workplace.
What research suggests is that it’s not a psychopath’s true merit that gets them ahead – it’s actually their empty charm, combined with the ability to manipulate and con others, and communicate smoothly with people who hold power and authority – that initially “impresses” those in leadership positions to invest in them. Sheehy and colleagues (2020) assert that individuals with Dark triad traits such as narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy and what they call “subclinical psychopaths” present a “façade of normalcy” but engage in harmful sabotaging behaviors that is “potentially devastating for the organization, its mission, its employees.” As they write, “The evidence of corporate psychopaths in practice reveals that they are particularly ruthless, conscience-free managers who are largely motivated by greed and aggrandizement. Where they excel is their ability to adapt their conduct as need and context requires. They excel in recognizing those they need and those who can make their lives difficult, as well as those they can intimidate and discount. They learn, in effect, to ‘kiss up, and kick down’.”
How Do You Know You’re Being Victimized?It’s likely that if you bring admirable and desirable qualities, credentials, achievements, skills, and natural talent to the workplace, you will be made a target by a workplace bully in your lifetime. As many as 75% of workers have experienced some form of workplace bullying whether being a direct target or witness. According to Forbes, “People become targets because something about them is threatening to the bully. Often they are more skilled, more technically proficient, have a higher EQ or people just like them better.” You may be a victim of workplace bullying if you’ve experienced any of the following:
The bully gets up close and personal in the beginning, gathering information on you to later use against you.Psychopathic individuals know when to kiss up and kick down. They will usually use love bombing strategies to gain your trust, especially if they believe you threaten their position, promotion, or are a valuable asset to the team. They want to ensure they win the “competition” you didn’t even know you were in – so, in order to do so, they have to figure out what makes you tick first. They may get close to you to pinpoint both your strengths and weaknesses ahead of time. They might invite you out to lunches or personal get-togethers to “pick your brain,” in the beginning, pretending to welcome you graciously if you’re a new hire. You will notice that they tend to interrogate you with questions that seem a bit too personal – questions about your childhood, how you feel about your boss or fellow colleagues, your usual weekend plans, your past experiences, as well as any ideas you have. Little do you know, they will later distort and weaponize this information to misrepresent you or your work to your boss, gossip about you with other colleagues, or take credit for your ideas.
They Devalue You, Covertly or OvertlyAfter a workplace bully is done winning your trust, they’ll begin consuming and devaluing you. They will ensure your focus is on them and their actions rather than your work. They could demand to be in communication with you at all times, even if you don’t report to them. They might point out irrelevant mistakes or fabricated flaws because of their envy. They could downplay your achievements or fail to acknowledge them altogether; more covert bullies mix praise with punishment so they can get away with their behavior in front of others. If you protest, they could admonish you with a sarcastic, patronizing tone or condescending attitude, or dish out covert put-downs designed to provoke you – these covert put-downs will be leveraged with plausible deniability to gaslight you. They will use your reactions to their chronic mistreatment to paint you as a “difficult person” or someone who is always starting trouble to the rest of the company, even if you are a high performer who has never had this issue with anyone else but them.
They exploit and steal credit for your labor. Workplace bullies may not have too much merit on their own, but they do have one special ability: the ability to recognize talent and capitalize off and profit off the skills of other people. If they sense that your work is doing especially well or that you bring unique ideas to the table, they will callously steal that work or ideas for their own benefit and try to put their own name on it to gain praise. This is one of the ways they attempt to climb the corporate ladder and victimize those who are high-achievers in the workplace.
They pit people against one another and lack empathy. A good employee and authentic team player tends to bring their own unique ideas to the table while also encouraging others to succeed. They may also point out what’s not working, invite effective solutions, or share concerns because they genuinely care about the company. Psychopaths couldn’t care less about company morale or long-term sustainability and will engage in unethical actions for short-term gratification and short-lived boosts in profit. They lack empathy which is demonstrated in the horrific ways they mistreat others and handle the emotions or concerns of others. They alienate some of the most talented and hard-working people at their companies which actually leads to substantially less profit in the long run – so employers must be wary if they are looking to hire someone with psychopathic traits. Instead, employers should look to hire workers with good work ethic, insight, empathy, integrity, and a track record of achievement. Genuine empathy is a deeply underrated quality to have in corporate workplaces, but it’s actually the fuel that builds solid connections and creates major social change. Psychopaths without empathy are simply limited in what they’re capable of; contrary to popular myth, their ruthlessness does not make them an asset – it makes them a liability.
Some workplace psychopaths agitate people on purpose out of the sadistic pleasure they get watching people react to their manipulation tactics. As Nathan Brooks (2019), a researcher and forensic psychologist who studies psychopathy in the workplace describes, “Typically psychopaths create a lot of chaos and generally tend to play people off against each other…for psychopaths, it [corporate success] is a game and they don’t mind if they violate morals. It is about getting where they want in the company and having dominance over others.” Because their game is a power ploy, not a pursuit for genuine success or contributing to the greater good, corporate psychopaths don’t tend to fare well in the long run. Eventually, they get caught embezzling funds, stealing the work of others, or bullying innocent people. Their priority is themselves, not the company. Since they lack the skills to get ahead authentically and organically, once they can no longer leech off of people and are held accountable, they usually move on to another company that doesn’t know their true nature.
What To Do If You Encounter a Workplace BullyIn order to navigate a workplace bully, you have to be stringent about documentation. Avoid sharing your ideas with psychopathic colleagues one-on-one unless it is documented or in a team meeting where there are witnesses. Do not disclose any personal information about yourself. Be wary of individuals who tend to love bomb you early on. Be measured in your responses to the bully and avoid excessive contact outside of the workplace. Resist the urge to seem overly kind or vulnerable – bullies take advantage of people they think won’t hold them accountable. Practice being more assertive about the work you’ve accomplished – chances are, you’ve been too “humble” about showcasing the enormity of what you’ve achieved while the psychopathic person has been running around using your ideas as their own. You can use the information that these toxic types use psychopathic charisma to get ahead to benefit yourself in a way that is still balanced with empathy. “Promote” and sell yourself more while still sticking to your core values. If you’re a hard-working, talented person, you deserve to flourish – and you are the type of person every workplace needs more of – not the psychopath.
Skipping through the streets of the Upper East Side in Manolo Blahniks. Catering to children in checkered mini-skirts and fire engine red turtle necks. Charming men in form-fitting silhouettes with exaggerated shoulder pads. Demanding the respect you deserve in cheetah print and five-inch stilettos. Do you know all the best fashion icons of TV — past and present?
From Carrie Bradshaw to Cookie Lyon, we’re breaking down the most stylish TV characters of all time. The ones who boasted haircuts so impactful they popped up on the streets of Connecticut suburbia. The ones who managed to breed life into brands that may have otherwise slipped through the cracks. The ones who showed fans that bold is not bad; it’s glamorous. Mis-matched patterns are not a faux pas, but a blow to uptight formality.
Blanche Devereaux | ‘The Golden Girls’ Florals, animal prints, sequins, and glitter. Blanche Devereaux was the epitome of 1980s fashion. Bold and colorful. From hot pink to electric blue, she was undaunted when it came to throwing on a sparkly dress that hugged her hips just so — that spotlighted her “perky bosoms” (as she would say) to draw the attention of some refined upper-crust man. And, of course, she sported that short yet voluminous bouffant to add a degree of trendy sophistication. With statement jewelry — earrings that dangled to the collar bone and chunky necklaces — as well as exaggerated shoulder pads, she oozed confidence. The pads and eye-catching jewels only added to her empowered and intrepid disposition.
Denise Huxtable | ‘The Cosby Show’Denise’s style in The Cosby Show is best characterized as Bohemian Chic — reflecting the counter-culture influences of the era. She often sported loose-fitting clothing: oversized sweaters, flowy skirts, vests, and an occasional splash of well-paired layers.
She also combined elements of ‘60s and ‘70s fashion — bell bottom pants, vintage prints and patterns, hippie/flower-child dresses — but added a contemporary ‘80s flair by combining multiple textures and accessorizing with ‘80s belts, jewelry, and footwear. Denise’s eclectic style perfectly complemented her free-spirited and creative nature. Just like she did, her style embraced non-conformity.
Hilary Banks | ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ Nothing but high-end designer fashion for Hilary. Her chic, tailored business suits were characteristic of the ‘90s professional woman. Yet, her outfits were colorful and bold, and always sported statement jewelry. Even in professional attire, she had to stand out in the crowd. Boring black from head-to-toe…over her Chanel-clad dead body. Try hot pink. Mustard yellow. Plaid. And the hats. The glorious hats.
Her ensembles were always perfectly coordinated — spotlighting her fierce attention to detail concerning fashion. In geometric patterns, crop tops, and high-waisted bottoms, she captured the ‘90s with exhaustive precision, complementing her on-trend and confident persona.
Fran Fine | ‘The Nanny’Fran Fine’s wardrobe famously blended street style with high fashion. She would wear a form-fitting mini-skirt but pair it with a shoulder-padded, oversized blazer to create a look that was at once edgy and sophisticated. Provocative yet polished.
Customary of the ‘90s, she also wore many a crop top and wasn’t afraid to expose her mid-drift while sporting form-fitting, wacky-patterned trousers or skirts — from piano keys and clouds in the sky to, of course, her signature leopard print. She always had a hint of leopard somewhere — from shoes to jackets, it became a characteristic part of her aesthetic. Fran’s offbeat and whimsical personality came through in her wardrobe because she would pair a designer label with quirky sunglasses or funky earrings. The unconventional combos made her a style icon who was unabashed concerning the dos and don’ts of style, and simply adhered to “works” and “doesn’t work.”
Carrie Bradshaw | ‘Sex and the City’ What sort of style list would this be without mentioning the one and only Carrie Bradshaw? With the most unpredictable wardrobe — ranging from elegant and trendy to avante-garde and daring — Carrie’s closet in Sex and the City was a character unto itself. In each episode, viewers tuned in to see what would happen with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda…and what Carrie would be wearing (alongside her classic Manolo Blahniks) as she narrated their shenanigans. One week it was a boho dress and button-up, the next it was a retro bikini top and surfer shorts. And then there were those groundbreaking l0oks — the earth-shattering get-ups like the iconic newsprint dress by John Galliano for Christian Dior or the flowy white tutu and tight pink tank top.
Carrie also combined high-end designer fashion with vintage thrift store finds, showcasing her unique fashion sensibilities and style fearlessness. She didn’t buy the item and imitate the catalog; she bought the item and did exactly the opposite of what the marketing team behind it would have advocated. Carrie’s fashion journey — changing across time — was also a road to self-discovery, empowerment, and expression.
Rachel Green | ‘Friends’ In slip dresses, plaid skirts, and crop tops, Rachel Green was yet another emblem of ‘90s fashion. Yet, more than her clothing choices, her haircut defined a generation. Now affectionately called “The Rachel,” it featured face-framing layers and feathered bangs with soft highlights and clean, blunt ends. If you weren’t rocking this haircut at the time, you were so irredeemably out of the loop.
Rachel’s style also memorably evolved throughout the show, as she became more financially independent and self-assured. From the waitress look to the transition to corporate to the little black dress and, ultimately, more trend-setting looks (as she climbed the ladder at Ralph Lauren), Rachel’s style perfectly relayed her character’s development.
Cookie Lyon | ‘Empire’ Cookie Lyon’s style sense in Empire relayed contemporary fashion while highlighting Cookie’s strong and dynamic personality. Cookie’s wardrobe was edgy, as she often sported bold and elaborate colors and textures. From leopard and cheetah prints to sequins and feather boas, her looks were attention-grabbing. She strutted her way down the hall, knowing everyone along her path was staring right at her. She rocked the flashy and extravagant side of 2010’s fashion.
She knew how to carry streetwear but she also had elegant evening gowns and power suits hanging up in her divine closet. The versatility and diversity in her wardrobe perfectly captured her own multifaceted personality — wise, but at times reckless and daring. And who could forget all those bright lipstick shades, smokey eye makeup, and perfectly sculpted brows? From the fit to the face and the hair, she was always on point.
Fashionable Mentions: * Serena van der Woodsen | Gossip Girl: Set trends with a mix of boho-chic, glamour, and elegance * Olivia Pope | Scandal: Sophisticated power suits with bold statement jewelry created the perfect mix of badassery and refinement. * Betty Draper | Mad Men: Classic 1960s style characterized by elegant A-line dresses and tailored suits. * Alexis Colby | Dynasty: Fur ensembles, shoulder-padded power suits, and eye-catching evening gowns made Alexis quite the queen of flair — which perfectly complemented her dramatic persona. * Kelly Kapowski | Saved By the Bell: Vibrant prints, scrunchy socks, high-waisted jeans, and fanny packs made Kelly a memorable figure when it came to teenage-aimed ‘90s looks. * Diane Lockhart | The Good Wife: With elegant blouses and modernized tailored suits featuring intricate floral blazers, Lockhart brought a whole new meaning to workplace attire. Professional meets pizazz.
Benign envy is the envy that allows us to admire and aspire – it pushes us to achieve greater heights based on what we see others accomplishing. When we want what others have, we may be more motivated to take the productive actions that help us reach the level of those who possess the traits and lifestyle we covet for ourselves. Malicious envy is the type of dangerous envy that spurs attempts at sabotage and denigration directed at the person we envy: according to research, it’s associated with both narcissistic and psychopathic traits and behaviors. This will come as no surprise to survivors of narcissistic people in romantic relationships, the family, the workplace, or friendships. Envious narcissists can bully people, sabotage goals and celebratory occasions, and even attempt to ruin relationships and connections. They can do a great deal of damage if their actions go unchecked and they are not held accountable. Here are five toxic habits you will commonly find in pathologically envious narcissists:
They exploit you and use you to make themselves look good, while simultaneously devaluing and minimizing your achievements and attributes. The narcissist’s ability to both exploit and degrade the people they envy at the same time is paradoxical and baffling. For example, they may use an attractive romantic partner as “arm candy” to show off to the world, while verbally abusing them behind closed doors. This is because while the narcissist knows their victims are desirable and can be used to raise their own status simply by association, they also want to ensure their victims don’t recognize their worth or search for a better partner. They want to take down their partners a peg or two and maintain control by belittling them. In the workplace, a narcissistic individual might openly reap the benefits of a talented colleague, while at the same time denigrate and minimize their achievements because they do not possess those achievements themselves. They feel threatened by the idea that this colleague has something they don’t, so instead of acknowledging this with maturity, they prefer to deflate such achievements. They might even go so far as to take credit for their labor and steal their ideas while criticizing them covertly or overtly. In contexts like the family or friendships, the accomplished victim is inevitably scapegoated by jealous peers and family members who want to exploit the resources and status of the victim while also degrading this victim. For example, a narcissistic father might routinely make rude comments about his son’s career, while also demanding he help out with their finances. This sense of entitlement runs rampant among envious narcissists who feel they “own” the positive qualities and assets their victims possess, yet are invested in making their victims feel small as a result of their own inferiority complex.
A shocking lack of appreciation, acknowledgment, or gratitude accompanied by contemptuous hypercriticism. You can always identify a narcissist by how they choose to give criticism. Narcissistic romantic partners will usually nitpick and criticize you in ways that are nonsensical, fabricating flaws that don’t exist or raging over minuscule matters. For example, a narcissistic spouse may have a temper tantrum over the way you cooked dinner or pick at the way you dress, even if you spent hours cooking a delicious meal for them or put on an extravagant dress for a night out. They might put down your goals, claiming you’re not intelligent enough to pursue a degree or a certain career. In reality, what they’re trying to do with this hypercriticism is control you. They don’t want you to wear that beautiful gown because other suitors may notice you; they don’t want to be appreciative of your domestic labor because they want you to continue trying to go overboard to win their approval; they don’t want you to go back to work or school because it means you’ll no longer be dependent on them. A healthy, empathic person knows how to criticize in constructive ways that do not border on being condescending, excessive, unnecessarily cruel, false, and callous. They know how to make their point with tact, empathy, and dignity. Notice the difference between saying something like, “I really enjoyed hearing your ideas and feedback, and here’s where I think I need further clarification,” and “I see no point in what you’re saying. This is all rubbish. It’s like you’re starting drama for no reason. You’re a bad person.” The former acknowledges the value in someone’s work or input and goes on to offer helpful insight. The latter avoids accountability altogether and uses diversionary false accusations to detract from a person’s perspective. A narcissist will attack people for no reason other than their own ego and overwhelm their targets with false accusations, hypercritical comments that are neither relevant nor applicable, and plenty of projections consisting of their own misdeeds and wrongdoings. This is especially atrocious to witness when the victims they attack are the same people who have gone out of their way to exceed expectations and even benefit the narcissist in some way; it shows a stunning lack of appreciation and gratitude for the hard work, attentiveness, and talent these victims bring to the table.
They always move the goal posts.A pathologically envious narcissist is never satisfied: that’s because they choose not to be. That is why you will see them constantly moving the goal posts so that their arbitrary standards and expectations can never be met. This moving of the goal posts can also happen within romantic relationships, family, friendships, and the workplace. One minute, you’re too independent and guarded as a romantic partner: the next, you’re labeled too clingy and needy when you dare to show some vulnerability. You need to dim your light to make your narcissistic friend comfortable, but once you do, you’re labeled a doormat and this toxic friend will make you feel weak for doing so even though they previously criticized you for being too “boastful.” You may have a number of credentials and accomplishments to your name, yet somehow the narcissistic co-worker finds a way to minimize and downplay even these contributions and act like they could’ve achieved just the same even though they didn’t. The point of moving the goal posts isn’t to address any actual flaws or shortcomings in the victim: it’s to simply keep you in your “place” so you never feel like you’ve satisfied the narcissist and they can assuage their own sense of inferiority and mitigate feeling threatened by you. In the presence of an envious narcissist who continually moves the goal posts, it’s important to focus on satisfying yourself, not the narcissist. Don’t try to fulfill their bizarre, arbitrary “standards” of what a narcissist portrays as “good enough” because chances are you already surpass them – and they know it.
They issue covert put-downs, turn others against you, or compare you to others. One effective way narcissists attempt to detract from your achievements or the positive qualities that distinguish you is by setting up false comparisons to other people or by pitting people against you. In workplaces, they could spread gossip about you to others or misrepresent you to those in charge. They may attribute your achievements to “luck” rather than talent, or assert that they are just as capable as you are of skills, knowledge, and accomplishments that took specialized training or a certain level of natural ability to attain. They will mention irrelevant people who do not actually compare to you as a way to take the spotlight off you, especially during celebratory occasions where you are being praised and congratulated on a job well done. The envious family member will bring up other relatives or siblings to pit you against others in the family unit. The jealous co-worker might praise another co-worker (who is in reality underperforming compared to you) as a snide reminder that you can’t possibly be that “special,” even if no one else compares to you and you bring irreplaceable assets to the team. The narcissistic friend might appear to praise you one second, only to center themselves the next or covertly mention something they perceive as “lacking” in you. This is a way for them to rob you of your “moment” and can be especially excruciating to endure, especially if you worked hard and are more than deserving of what you’ve achieved.
They have a need to “humble” you and attempt to sabotage you.Beware: if you dare to have a healthy sense of confidence around a narcissist, you will usually be made an automatic target. Narcissistic individuals don’t like when their victims are grounded in their own sense of validation. They prefer their victims defer to their authority and be dependent upon them for approval. A misogynistic dating partner doesn’t want you to know you’re attractive or intelligent; they want to be the ones who “validates” your attractiveness and intelligence – otherwise, they lose their power over you. So if you’re pursuing your PhD, just got a promotion, or obtained a modeling contract, that will be right around the time they start crazymaking arguments with you to sabotage you before important meetings, interviews, or exams. A vindictive, narcissistic family member doesn’t want you to pursue your dreams and career opportunities because they know your financial independence takes away their control over your agency, so they will put down your abilities so you have less confidence. An envious friend feels irked when you exhibit healthy pride because it’s a nagging reminder of their own incompetence, so they change the subject aggressively any time you’re mentioned in the social circle. Or, they feel threatened by your beauty and do everything possible to monopolize attention that’s naturally directed at you or make cutting, resentful remarks to “punish” you for outshining them. That’s why it’s important not to automatically label a woman taking a selfie as a narcissist while dismissing the woman behind her staring at her with seething resentment: true narcissism in women goes far beyond vanity; it is most evident in the envious rage and retaliation narcissists carry out against innocent people. It’s important to understand that the pathological envy of a narcissist is actually representative of how powerful you are and have the potential to be. Do not let these toxic types convince you to dim your light or shrink.
Not every streaming service has a ton of quality rom-coms to choose from, but Paramount+ is luckily one of the ones with a huge catalog of romantic comedy favorites. The next time you want to curl up with some popcorn and a funny, romantic story that’ll make your heart swoon, check out these hits. These are the best of the best romantic comedies on Paramount+ this month, whether they’re newer hits, old classics, or a few hidden jobs. (There are even a few that are just hitting the streaming service in September.)
Newer HitsLove in Taipei (2023)Paramount+New in August, this Paramount+ Original is based on the wildly popular YA novel, Loveboat, Taipei by Abigail Hing Wen. When Ever Wong’s parents insist she spend the summer in Taipei learning about her Taiwanese heritage, she has to decide whether she’ll be a good student or break the rules to see the real Taipei. (And choose between two equally awesome-seeming guys in the process.)
At Midnight (2023)Paramount+When popular action star Sophie Wilder finds her boyfriend–and co-star–cheating on her, she’s encouraged to pretend they haven’t broken up for the sake of her career. That’s made all the more difficult when she meets a man working the hotel where they’re staying…and he seems just the right kind of man for her. This is another new Paramount+ Original and has all the classic rom-com vibes that have been lacking lately.
Love, Rosie (2015)LionsgateRosie and Alex have been friends since they were kids. They couldn’t possibly be in love with each other, right? That’d be far too inconvenient. In this underrated rom-com gem, we see two people destined to be together, but never quite finding the right time to make it happen. It’s an absolute must-watch, especially if you love Sam Claflin and Lily Collins.
Long Shot (2019) (available Sept. 1)LionsgateThis one might have gone under the radar when it came out, which is a shame. When Seth Rogen’s Fred becomes the speech writer for his former babysitter-turned-presidential-candidate Charlotte (Charlize Theron), he has to contend with the crush he’s always had on her. This movie is amazing for the out-of-this-world chemistry between Rogen and Theron alone (not to mention, it’s hilarious).
The Lost City (2022)Paramount PicturesSandra Bullock’s Lorette Sage is a romance novelist. She just writes books, but when a wealthy creep (Daniel Radcliffe) abducts her to help him find a lost city of treasure from one of her novels, it’s up to her cover model (Channing Tatum) to save her. Is it eerily similar to the 1984 romantic adventure, Romancing the Stone? Sure! But that doesn’t make this any less amazing.
Classic Rom-Coms and Old FavoritesClueless (1995)Paramount PicturesCher is just a normal teen girl if you count being born into wealth and pretty privilege as “normal.” At least she has a heart of gold and will do anything, no matter how ill-advised, to help people she thinks are in-need. It’s the thoroughly ’90s Shakespeare-based teen rom-com that proved we’ll all fall for our step-brothers if they happen to be Paul Rudd. Despite how dated it is, it still holds up today.
Stardust (2007) (available Sept 1)Paramount PicturesWhen Tristan sees a falling star land over the mysterious wall next to his village, he sets out in search of it as a way to propose to his lady love. When he finds not a hunk of rock but a beautiful woman where the star had fallen, he decides to present her as the prize instead. This is the fantasy romance, based on the novel by Neil Gaiman, that everyone can get behind, even people who hate fantasy but love romance, or vice versa. (It also has one of the best glow-ups ever.)
She’s the Man (2006)Paramount PicturesViola (Amanda Bynes) just wants to play Soccer, but when her team gets cut in favor of the boy’s team–even though the girls are way better–she decides to pose as her brother and join the rival school’s boy’s soccer team. Another modern rom-com based on a Shakespeare play, you’ve been sorely missing out if you’ve yet to catch this classic.
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)Universal PicturesBridget Jones (Renée Zellweger) is just trying to get by in the corporate world while having fun friends and hopefully falling in love. She has a thing for her boss (Hugh Grant), but can’t seem to get rid of the annoying Mark Darcy (Colin Firth). This movie is great for Colin Firth’s performance alone, not to mention the classic rom-com vibes.
The Last Holiday (2006)Paramount PicturesWhat happens when Georgia (Queen Latifah) finds out she’s dying? She decides to spend her last time in this world going on adventures, all starting with a trip abroad. This is a perfect movie to watch when you’re feeling like your life needs some serious change. While the romance aspect is only a small part of this wonderful movie, it makes Georgia’s journey all the better.
Hidden GemsGhost Town (2008)DreamWorksYou wouldn’t expect a movie about Ricky Gervais’ Pincus being able to see ghosts after briefly dying during a routine colonoscopy on a list like this, but here we are. Pincus, a surly dentist who hates absolutely everyone, has to help ghosts pass on to the next realm, including the philandering husband of a beautiful woman who lives in his building. This movie is surprisingly sweet and heartfelt.
Grease 2 (1982)Paramount PicturesI’d rather not weigh in on the Grease vs. Grease 2 debate–which can get incredibly heated–but when I saw the latter among Paramount+’s rom-coms, I had to add it to the hidden gems. This is one of those “it’s so bad, it’s good” movies thanks to the silly-yet-memorable songs, wild plot turns, and great performances by Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield.
Beastly (2011) (available Sept 1)CBS FilmsAnother “so bad, it’s good” rom-com, this Vanessa Hudgens and Alex Pettyfer film is a modern retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story. After Kyle’s snobbery angers a witch in the form of Mary-Kate Olsen, he’s cursed to look like a weird gnarly sci-fi character. And the only one who can see past his hideous looks is Lindy, the cool, misunderstood girl in school.
They can be your exes, therapists, nurses, schoolteachers, professors, colleagues, friends, and foes. Female psychopaths may be rarer than male psychopaths, but they still do considerable damage. A 2021 meta-analysis using studies totaling 11,497 people revealed that psychopathy has a prevalence rate of 4.5%, (this rate goes down to 1.2% if using the gold standard Psychopathy Checklist by Hare) with rates being higher in males. However, psychopathy researchers have argued that this gender difference may be attributed to how scales that measure psychopathy were originally designed to capture psychopathy in males in the prison population. Since female psychopaths tend to be less physically violent (perhaps due to their socialization) but also tend to have callousness and lack of emotion as more of their central features according to studies, they may simply fly under our radar. So what do female psychopaths actually look like? How do they behave? If they’re not serial killers or overt bullies, what are the tell-tale behaviors that do give them away? Here are the red flags to look for:
They’re superficially charming, wear many masks, and mirror socially acceptable responses to emotions to escape detection. They are easily bored, take sadistic pleasure in people’s pain, and like to create chaos for fun. Much like male psychopaths, female psychopaths are just as charming. They use their cognitive empathy to mirror the socially acceptable emotional responses they observe in others to escape detection – they can wear many masks, adapting like chameleons to the context at hand. Some even adopt a demeanor of being nurturing and maternal or embody damsel in distress tropes and pity ploys to garner sympathy. But within, they are cold, callous, conniving and cruel. This may be revealed more subtly through a saccharine sweet tone of voice that is betrayed by a microexpression of bitterness; or a smug sadism when putting down others. They derive satisfaction and pleasure from duping and conning people – and feel thrilled when causing others pain. Early on in childhood, they may exhibit cruelty to animals, bully other children, or even engage in criminal behaviors. They use their charisma to climb the corporate ladder with ease, even if they lack the skills to truly succeed long-term; some even engage in fraud. They figure out the weaknesses of others that they can exploit to their advantage. They are prone to boredom, so they manufacture chaos, pitting people against one another for a greater sense of power and control. They victimize and bully the innocent, making prey out of the people they feel threatened by or are envious of. They do this in real life as well as on social media. You will often notice both female narcissists and psychopaths online demeaning and insulting others, especially other women they are jealous of.
They enjoy partner poaching. In a 2022 BBC interview with female psychopaths, one of the female psychopaths interviewed described how she took great pleasure in having an affair with a man and when she became bored of the relationship, ended it by sending his naked pictures to his wife, including one featuring herself with her husband. When people asked her why she would delight in doing such a thing with so much nonchalance, she replied that it was her callousness that permitted her to do so. These types of people who go out of their way to engage with partnered men as a pattern and take sadistic pleasure in doing so do exist, and research shows that partner poaching is associated with psychopathic traits in both men and women.
They engage in relationally aggressive behavior to sabotage others and are particularly envious of those they target.Research shows that both narcissistic and psychopathic traits are associated with malicious envy – envy that drives destructive behavior toward others. If they are not outwardly violent, female psychopaths channel their aggression into their social relationships, particularly their friendships and work relationships with other women. They may not target those who they need: for example, they will likely not be aggressive toward a boss who pays their salary, but they will target other employees who seem to be surpassing them and attempt to undermine them in a way that depicts themselves as innocent. They spread gossip and rumors with malice. They sabotage their talented peers and flirt with their bosses and co-workers in the workplace to get ahead. They interfere in the friendships of others. They steal work and give themselves credit. If they work with vulnerable populations, they may even re-victimize vulnerable clients; for example, a therapist who is also a female psychopath might learn her client’s triggers not for the purpose of helping them heal, but solely for the purpose of manipulating and provoking her client so they remain in therapy. A psychopathic female nurse may administer the wrong dose of medication to watch her patient suffer or bully her colleagues who she deems more attractive or talented than her.
They view life as a competition, ensnaring people in their mind games to “win” – and they lack remorse for their transgressions, no matter how heinous or violent.Whether they’re a relationship partner or friend, female psychopaths enjoy playing mind games. They use diversion tactics to escape accountability for their actions. They love bomb, devalue, and provoke jealousy in their partners and friends so they can be the one who establishes dominance. They cheat on their doting spouses and cheat with the spouses of others purposely. In the most extreme cases, they murder their husbands or help to murder the wives of the husbands they’re cheating with. They gaslight after insulting others covertly with backhanded comments, ensuring they capitalize on plausible deniability. They enjoy tearing down someone who is celebrating success or exhibiting healthy pride. They misuse their sexuality to their advantage. Mothers who are psychopathic will abuse their children and use them as pawns; they may even be jealous of their daughters, showing especial hostility toward them. They feel entitled to have the attention on them, even if they don’t “crave” the attention like female narcissists do. For them, it’s all about profit or pleasure: if attention alleviates their chronic boredom, they’ll take it and they will do whatever they want without much remorse for any harm they’ve caused.
If you’re dealing with a female psychopath, it’s important to gain professional support and cut ties. If you can’t avoid them entirely, you must minimize contact – do not disclose any personal information to them that can be used against you. Your mental well-being is paramount. You deserve to be free and you deserve to heal.
Running in the rain to stop a wedding dead in its tracks. Kissing under the moonlight as Frank Sinatra serenades on vinyl. Laughing until you cry as you dance in the living room — and try to recreate the famous Dirty Dancing lift. Sharing food and feeding each other alla Lady and the Tramp.
Romantic comedies remain a beloved genre for a reason. It’s all those serendipitous meet-cutes. The romantic gazes from across the ballroom. The unbelievable coincidences and the exaggerated emphasis on fate. We can’t get enough of the comedic cutesy moments that leave us grinning from ear to ear — waiting for our own fairytale love to come galloping in on a white stallion.
If you’re a rom-com enthusiast looking to stream some new and classic rom-coms, Netflix has got you covered this September.
‘Up in the Air’ | September 1With just enough edge and compelling performances from its three primary protagonists — George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, and Anna Kendrick — this movie is a slick step above the everyday rom-rom thanks to deft dialogue, scrumptious twists, and well-delivered sentimentality.
The film follows corporate downsizer Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), as he takes his young co-worker (Anna Kendrick) on tour to demonstrate the importance of face-to-face communication when preparing to fire employees. While mentoring his colleague, he arranges hookups with a fellow frequent flier (Vera Farmiga), but his feelings for her grow, and he comes to see others around him in a new light.
‘Happy Ending’ | September 1Happy Ending is a Netflix original Dutch film premiering on the streamer the first of the month. The premise is simple: Luna and Mink are celebrating their one-year anniversary, so everything is rainbows and butterflies, right? Wrong. Luna has been faking her orgasms since the beginning of their relationship. When her best friend suggests a threesome, Luna’s life is turned upside down and her relationship is put to the test.
‘Love Again’ | September 1Love Again — starring Sam Heughan and Priyanka Chopra — debuted in theaters earlier this year, and it has finally made its way to the streamer for proper couch-potato viewing.
Mira (Priyanka), who is coping with the loss of her fiance, sends a series of romantic texts to his old cellphone number. With lines like “there’s an aching inside me,” she allows a moment of tender vulnerability to slip from her heart through her fingertips. There’s just one problem: a new guy has this number. Journalist Rob Burns receives the texts, and he’s captivated by Mira’s honesty, so he recruits Celine Dion’s help to figure out how to meet Mira in person. Yes, Celine Dion. He’s doing a profile on the superstar. It’s all so ridiculous and serendipitous.
Though critics raked this one through the coals for its Hallmark-y vibes and stupefyingly predictable plot, Celine Dion is a treasure. Her voice and acting capture your heart when the characters fail to. Let’s be real, “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” could save any film.
‘Ehrengard: The Art of Seduction’ | September 14From Academy Award, Golden Globe, and two-time Palme d’Or winner Bille August comes the Netflix original Ehrengard: The Art of Seduction — a prestige rom-com that follows a love expert appointed to teach the Grand Duchess’s timid son, as the title so aptly suggests, the art of seduction. Yet, the tantalizing teacher finds himself wrapped up in a scandal and romance all his own.
Based on the novel Ehrengard by Karen Blixen, the trailer suggests a great deal of royal gossip and sensuousness akin to the likes of Bridgerton… maybe with a little less skin. Beautiful landscapes, horseback rides, quippy banter, and fencing. What could be bad?
‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2’ | September 16The 2016 sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding finally makes its way to the streamer in mid-September.
Marriages grow stale and rebellious teenagers make for forks in the road when it comes to “Happily ever after.” In short, Ian and Toula are struggling as their daughter pushes against her Greek heritage and traditions. And to make matters more complex, a shocking family secret comes to light that brings the whole clan back together once more for an even larger wedding celebration. Though suffering from overwrought sitcom shenanigans and saccharine melodrama, it’s nice to see the characters reunite. It’s not the original, but it’s something.
‘Love Is in the Air’ | September 28The Netflix original Australian rom-com Love Is in the Air follows a pilot struggling to keep her family business afloat (or should we say up in the air?) who ends up falling for the very man who has been sent to shut her down.
The premise is a bit typical. Hopefully, the movie will pack a punch with some surprising narrative twists and compelling performances from our primary protagonists Delta Goodrem and Joshua Sasse. Will he leave behind the corporate world for her? Will her family inspire her to take to the big city and become a big bad pilot at a major airline? We’ll have to wait and see when this rom-com drops on September 28.
New Paramount+ original movie Love in Taipei (based on the YA novel, Loveboat Taipei) is imparting some serious wisdom.
Well, where should I start? Many people living with the human condition of HIV think that they will never find love, or they are very afraid of the stigma and shame HIV carries.
Meg Ryan — the Hollywood icon famous for classics like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail — will finally return to her rom-com roots.
Looking to binge a couple of bold-colored ‘80s flicks about underdog protagonists? Are you a fan of energized, somewhat melodramatic performances like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator or Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink?
The And Just Like That… Season 2 finale aired on August 24, 2023, yet news that Season 3 had already been greenlit dropped just prior to the season finale.
After a grueling workweek, there’s nothing quite like unwinding with a heartwarming rom-com series.
Forget love and light. Here's what no one tells you about healing and "winning" in a break-up from a narcissist in authentic ways backed by science.
From wisecracking quipsters and drunken flirts to sassy and spirited ladies, the best sitcoms feature female characters who leave us bowled over in hysterics.
While I enjoy poking fun at Suits for its over-the-top drama, I’ve started to consider what the show actually gets right about the business world.
Some zodiacs take a long time to find themselves. They need time to discover who they really are and what they really want from this world.
Dorothy Zbornak was The Golden Girls’ whip-smart, one-liner queen. She was savage in her takedowns and ruthless in her comebacks.
When the narcissist first love-bombs you, they seem to have all the time in the world to communicate with you. After they’ve “hooked” you, however, their communication patterns shift abruptly in ways that give you emotional whiplash. An expert reveals the eight most common red flag text messages from narcissists and what they really mean.
You only have a few days to watch these bangers on Netflix. Might as well clear your schedule.
And Just Like That Season 2 has come to a close with an episode so aptly titled “The Last Supper.” Carrie, with a Michelin Chef at the helm, hosts a goodbye-old-apartment dinner.
Suits strikes a unique balance between the clever storytelling typical of an HBO series and the over-the-top absurdity you’d find in a low-budget soap opera.
And Just Like That… Season 2 has been stringing certain narratives along since the start — sprinkling hints at what’s to come with each passing episode but waiting for the denouement to tie the season up with a bow.
Netflix's new romantic comedy, Happiness for Beginners, has the perfect mix of adventure and love--which is exactly why I can't stop watching it.
Samantha Jones — with a quick tongue, an admirable air of independence, and a sexually liberated mentality — quickly became a beloved staple of Sex and the City.
Scared, ashamed, lost, alone, worried, anxious. These are just some of the ways I felt when I learned I was HIV positive on that spring day of 2011. Coping with this news was something that became a daily struggle.
Evanna Lynch is best known for portraying the insightful albeit offbeat and whimsical Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter franchise.
Harlan Coben’s Shelter is shaping up to be quite the twisty-turny mystery with disappearing children, sinister suspects, and an overall haunting and suspenseful atmosphere.
Research shows that women benefit less than men from marriage. But why would that be? Getting married, choosing who to marry, and deciding whether to have children are some of the most important decisions you can make and can affect the rest of your life. Here are four questions to ask yourself before making these life-changing decisions.
Watch out for these ten red flags of narcissists and manipulators on dating apps, especially if you're a woman.
They finally dropped the Cornetto deleted scene from Red, White & Royal Blue. Here's something you might have missed.
You’ve been warned: there are spoilers for the second season of ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ ahead Anyone who grew up during the late 2000s is well acquainted with the idea of shipping wars.
Back in the Golden Age of Hollywood, it wasn’t uncommon for a bright-eyed performer to boast triple-threat status, taking on movies, concerts, and the Great White Way in a medium-spanning career requiring song, dance, and sentiment.
Ask anyone for a list of the classic romantic comedies that are a must-watch and Sleepless in Seattle will always make the list.
The King of Rock & Roll, Elvis Presley — known for his signature combination of rhythm and blues, gospel, and country — remains one of the most celebrated performers of all time.
Despite airing its series finale over 30 years ago, The Golden Girls remains one of the most famous sitcoms to date.
As a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy, I have noticed there are six common stages of trauma bonding that survivors of narcissists often go through before they become sufficiently “hooked” into the toxic relationship cycle.
Want some new (or classic) romantic comedies to watch? Here's the best that Netflix has to offer in August, 2023.
Meryl Streep joins the season 3 cast of Only Murders in the Building as aspiring actress Loretta Durkin.
Prime Video’s Red, White & Royal Blue, based on the novel by Casey McQuiston, follows the romance between the son of the President of the United States, Adam Alex Claremont-Diaz, and His Royal Highness Prince Henry of England.
The term narcissist has entered the common vernacular and is casually thrown around everywhere from casual conversations to TikTok videos. But most people aren’t getting it right.
Throughout season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty, our teenage protagonists have worked diligently to save their home from their wicked, but more so misunderstood, Aunt Julia (portrayed with nuance and gravity by Kyra Sedgwick).
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Instagram has increasingly become a platform for individuals with chronic illnesses to connect, share experiences, and cultivate community.
On December 14th, 2014, my family sat beside my hospital bed praying for a solution to my severe episode of Crohn’s/Colitis. I had experienced chronic G.I. reactions before, but nothing like this.
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My Story Before I was diagnosed, I was in my early twenties attending Cal State Fullerton for their undergraduate program in communicative disorders. I also just started my career as an up-and-coming fitness instructor.
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To you, dangerous people feel like home. You "thrive" in fantasy relationships because you feel safe with people you know you have no future with. You fear abandonment yet abandon yourself.
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If you’ve already binged season 2 of Heartstopper and need another LGBTQ+-themed show to sink your teeth into, we’ve got you covered.
After a night of hanging with family and enjoying time out drinking and laughing, I literally woke up with the worst stomach pain. Made it to the bathroom and puked all the drinks I drank the night before.
Season 2, Episode 8 of And Just Like That sees Carrie and Aidan fall into a happy homemaker ritual seemingly overnight. The sparks are flying once again, but there’s just as much comfort as there is erotic attraction.
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The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) has grown quite expansive since the start of Phase 4 — with TV shows impacting films and vice versa.
Mate poaching or partner poaching is when someone deliberately and knowingly pursues those who are already in a committed romantic relationship. It is associated with darker personality traits.
The world lost Paul Reubens on Monday, best known as Pee-wee Herman. Here's a look at one of his best and forgotten performances.
Among the ranks of Netflix’s neverending library are several movies based on true stories. Whether biographical accounts of monarchs or gangsters, the platform has produced its fair share of real-life dramatizations.
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Have you ever felt an intense pull toward someone before you even really knew them? You meet, maybe you even speak, and you’re consumed with the desire to have this person. Youneedthem.
Secret Invasion is the latest MCU project to join a short list of Marvel productions with “rotten” scores on Rotten Tomatoes.
1992’s Death Becomes Her, directed by Robert Zemeckis, premiered to ruthless condemnation, as high-brow members of the critical community deemed the dark comedy’s satirical approach shallow and unemotional.
As a researcher specializing in trauma, I find that survivors of trauma often identify both the positive and maladaptive elements of their trauma responses while still validating the pain they experienced.
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A love triangle between Conrad, Jeremiah, and Belly has been at the center of The Summer I Turned Pretty since the start. Both boys bring different attributes to the table and boast vastly different dynamics with Belly.
If you were a fan of Barbie in all its pink-hued splendor, chances are you like Greta Gewrig’s approach to storytelling. The actor/writer/director is known for her nuanced and introspective style that seamlessly balances emotional sensitivity with witty banter.
When we think of “psychopathy” and “narcissism,” the last image that comes to mind is the innocence of youth.
In the words of the great Anya Taylor-Joy, “I have a thing about feminine rage.” It’s not just that I feel it, it’s that I crave it—in art, in movies, in music.
Emilia Clarke portrays G’iah in Secret Invasion, a character who — fighting against her moral conscious at the show’s onset — teams up with the rebel Skrulls to turn Earth into the Skrulls’ home and wipe out the human race…
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little passion in your TV viewing experience. Nothing wrong with watching beautiful bodies collide — lips meet, hands touch, clothes slip to the ground. Netflix isn’t one to shy away from steamy content.
Sex and the City premiered on HBO on June 6, 1998 — thirteen years following the premiere of The Golden Girls in 1985.
Greta Gerwig’s highly-anticipated Barbie movie starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling has finally hit the silver screen.
Season one of Heartstopper introduced those unfamiliar with Alice Oseman’s graphic novels of the same name to Nick, Charlie, Tao, Elle, and their surrounding friends, enemies, and family members.
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is one of the most captivating crime drama television shows, spanning an impressive 24 seasons.
Sex/Life, Obsession, Tiny Pretty Things, and, now, Fatal Seduction. Netflix has been churning out sex-centric series for the past few years— shows that bring your wildest fantasies to the screen in soft-core-porn-level detail…but with a bigger budget.
Aries: Glam Rocker Barbie Kate McKinnon Aries, your fiery and energetic spirit can’t be contained! You’re a natural-born leader who’s ready to take the stage with your powerful presence.
The Parent Trap came out 25 years ago this month. From summer camp poker games to sabotaging a camping trip, come relive the best scenes.
Children of narcissistic parents can suffer long-lasting effects in adulthood that affect their self-esteem, mental health, their susceptibility to re-traumatization, and emotional regulation.
We can’t predict the future; we don’t know the ways the world will change us over time. But that’s why it’s so important to hold onto these moments when we have them, to give ourselves over to them completely.
As a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy, I’ve written before about the manipulation tactics of female narcissists and how they can affect their loved ones in majorly harmful ways.
The problem with always feeling responsible for being the bigger person and “mature” in every situation and emotionally bypassing is that you never assign blame to the true perpetrator and end up punishing yourself due to misplaced self-blame.
Movie musicals — whether original creations or on-screen adaptations of stage productions — often demand triple threats in leading roles.
Micro-betrayals are the seemingly “smaller” transgressions that can often act as the ominous harbingers of the greater betrayals to come. They can build up over time to become major red flags.
In need of a good laugh, but unwilling to take the risk on a new slice of cinema that may disappoint? Netflix added some classic comedies to their platform this July that are tried-and-true pieces of comedy gold.
Pisces, the summer song that's the soundtrack to your love life is "Lover" by Taylor Swift.
There are certain seeming “green flags” that are actually the dating red flags of a narcissist. The last one may surprise you. Love bombing is viewed as “finally” meeting your soulmate.
The 2023 Emmy nominations are in, and though Showtime’s Succession earned a whopping 27 nods, other shows, movies, and actors were completely left out of the spotlight — despite earning critical and audience praise.
With “Ken-ergy” quickly picking up steam as a descriptor for men akin to Ryan Gosling’s Ken in the upcoming Barbie movie, what better time to look back on some of TV and film’s most famous himbos?
Mental health matters just as much as physical health. In fact, mental health and physical health are deeply intertwined and impact one another. However, there is still a stigma with mental health issues and seeking treatment for those problems.
There might be a clue to how terrible Jonah Hill is in this old--and hilarious--Seth Rogen movie.
The trailer for Wonka — a prequel to Road Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring Timothée Chalamet as the eccentric chocolatier years before he rises to fame — dropped on July 11, 2023.
Grease 2 may be an uninspired replica of its far-superior predecessor — taking Danny and Sandy and swapping them out for a leather-clad Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer) and a cardigan-adorned Michael (Maxwell Caulfield) — but Pfeiffer’s performance remains a celebrated slice…
Spoilers ahead for the over-a-century-old disaster and subsequent decades-old movie. Aries You’re Molly Brown (Kathy Bates). You’re the character based on the real-life “Unsinkable” Molly Brown. She was a philanthropist, a suffragette, and an all-around badass in real life.
You should never hide who you really are, even if that means pushing certain people away, because you deserve to live authentically. You deserve to embrace your truth.
With themes as resonant as ever, narratives as timeless as they come, and characters that nestle into our hearts and minds, classic novels will always influence contemporary content.
It's gut-wrenching. The love was so real, yet here you are, heartbroken. These are the love lessons you'll take with you long after your first heartbreak.
Let’s just get this out of the way. This review is going to be ALL SPOILERS, so don’t read this unless you’ve already seen the film, don’t plan on watching it, or just want things ruined via critic’s viewpoint.
Are you what researchers call a “highly sensitive person”? High sensitivity is an innate, genetic trait that appears in 15-20% of the population.
Justina Machado portrays the primary protagonist (antagonist?) Dolores Roach in Prime Vidoe’s recently-released series The Horror of Dolores Roach, based on the fictional podcast of the same name.
It’s an age-old debate. What’s better: the book or the movie? Though the source material often comes out on top — as not every work of fiction seamlessly transfers to the screen — some on-screen adaptations rival their pageturners.
Corner Office, which premiered at the 2022 Tribeca Film Festival, will release in select theaters on August 4, 2023, with Jon Hamm returning to the corporate world as a man committed to ascending the ladder.
When you’re dating someone, eventually you’ll have to ask: is this relationship just for now, or is it forever? Marriage is a big deal, it is the ultimate commitment, and not everyone wants to get married.
When it comes to a lighthearted viewing experience – consistent chuckles and just enough tenderness — Netflix is chock-full of options.
Have you been excited about the Red, White, & Royal Blue movie? Well, you're in luck, because they just released the trailer.
These words were inspired by Amazon Prime’s second season of The Summer I Turned Pretty. Explore Belly’s growing pains through the ups and downs of friendship, family, love and so much more on July 14th, 2023.
The Netflix original series The Witcher, based on the novel series of the same name by Andrzej Sapkowsk, follows monster hunter Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill) as he navigates a fantasy world filled with supernatural creatures and political conspiring.
American Horror Story Season 12, reportedly titled Delicate, is scheduled to premiere on FX on August 1, 2023 — only 10 months following the season 11 premiere in October 2022.
The INFJ (standing for Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J)) is the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type, making up 1-2% of the population.They have a “darker” side that allows them to harness their traits powerfully to seek justice. Here are five things you must never ask an INFJ to do.
If you want to fool a narcissist to keep yourself safe, here are ten clever ways to do so.
As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow famously said, “Music is the universal language of mankind,” for it connects us, inspires us, fills us with grief, or instills us with hope.
The Idol’s controversial run has finally come to a close — at least as we wait for an update regarding the show’s future.
Don't stay together for the children. Model empathy, boundaries, and accountability instead.
When survivors have been abused by a narcissist, they can experience a plethora of stress-related symptoms.
Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly in 2006’s The Devil Wears Prada has gone on to become a cultural icon.
Lawyers and mediators share their best tips on how to divorce a narcissist and tackle custody issues with effectiveness.
Gabrielle Union stars in the Netflix original romantic drama The Perfect Find opposite Keith Powers.
The first season of The Summer I Turned Pretty quickly became a Prime Video sensation, centering a love triangle between Belly (Lola Tung) and brothers Jeremiah (Gavin Casalegno) and Conrad (Christopher Briney).
Summer rom-coms have all the warm, sunny romance you crave. Here's which one each zodiac should watch this summer--and where to stream it.
A little hand-to-hand combat alongside quippy remarks. Physical comedy meets physical excellence. Bickering meets badassery. There’s something about an action comedy that never gets old. They’re lighthearted, high-octane thrill rides that offer up both suspenseful storylines and slapstick buffoonery.
You’ve likely heard of trauma responses like fight, flight, or freeze. But have you heard of “fawn?” Fawning is a trauma response characterized by appeasing a predator or complying with their demands to avoid danger and mitigate threat.
When it comes to Hollywood gold, some of the most renowned films and shows are based on books.
Netflix’s Glamorous boasts all the ingredients necessary for success — a divine Kim Cattrall as a former model and founder / CEO of a makeup empire, a loveable Miss Benny as her hot mess of an inspired second assistant, and…
With only two episodes left in HBO’s The Idol, the likelihood of a compelling narrative developing — one that puts forth a reason to exist beyond raising controversy and eyebrows — is unlikely to come to fruition.
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The upcoming Barbie movie from writer/director Greta Gerwig is bound to be an eye-opening sociocultural commentary, as the trailer not-so-subtly indicates as Margot Robbie’s Barbie loses her prized, permanently-arched foot — and all her Barbie peers respond with disgust and…
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Netflix is home to so many titles across genres and decades — from legacy content to original productions — that commendable movies often slip through the cracks.
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Randall Park’s directorial debut, Shortcomings, is based on the comic of the same name by Adrian Tomine. The film stars Justin H.
Inspirational. Life-changing. Significant. Relevant. Chill-inducing. These are some of the adjectives that surface when discussing films that nestle their way into our hearts and minds — and never leave. Films with lines we’ve memorized.
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The upcoming comedy No Hard Feelings stars Jennifer Lawrence as a bit of a wild-child-turned-hot-mess young adult who’s on the brink of losing her childhood home.
If you’re the daughter or son of a narcissistic father, you likely experienced manipulation and exploitation from an early age.
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With each new season, Freeform’s anthology series Cruel Summer follows a new cast of characters confronting traumatic events over multiple timelines.
Toxicity exists on a spectrum, but there is a set of tell-tale behaviors that can point to a core lack of empathy, entitlement, and exploitativeness that can be harmful to relationships.
Devi boasts quite the whirlwind romantic journey in Never Have I Ever. Though she has a brief, adrenaline-boosting fling with resident bad boy Ethan in season 4, her primary love interests are Paxton and Ben.
Devi has had two primary love interests throughout most of Netflix’s Never Have I Ever — the heartthrob Paxton and her enemy-turned-lover, fellow scholar Ben. In season four, bad boy Ethan (Michael Cimino) enters the fray.
Poor Things — an upcoming Searchlight Pictures film starring Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, and Mark Ruffalo — is based on the 1992 novel of the same name by Alasdair Gray.
Taylor Swift is still the soundtrack to the summer, thanks to 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' Season Two.
The fourth and final season of Never Have I Ever dropped on Netflix on June 8, 2023, and many fans were quick to binge the 10-episode installment in its entirety.
From creators Mindy Kaling and Lang Fisher, Never Have I Ever perfectly balances heart and humor to create a relatable series about adolescence.
Devi Vishwakumar, Fabiola Torres, and Eleanor Wong comprise an enviable besties trifecta in Never Have I Ever. They can rely on one another. They can make mistakes together (and grow from them). They can be transparent about their desires.
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From Sam Levinson, the brilliant mind behind the Zendaya-led Euphoria, The Idol aims to strike a similar critical chord — commenting on the toxic underbelly inherent to the popstar industry.
The upcoming Netflix original series Glamorous stars Sex and the City alumna Kim Cattrall opposite the singer, actor, and YouTuber Miss Benny in what’s sure to be a heartwarming and boisterous series.
Prime Video’s With Love from Gloria Calderón Kellet — the same brilliant mind behind Netflix’s canceled–too-soon One Day at a Time reboot — features a close-knit family viewers can’t help but fall in love with. This motley crew of characters, in search of romance and the secret to life fulfillment, boast clearly defined personalities and charming quirks. Each character brings something unique to the series — whether that be some spicy flirtation, relatable perfectionism, experiential wisdom, or fierce devotion. The question is: which characters are the most lovable? Which characters make With Love the series we have fallen in love with?
Mild spoilers for ‘With Love’ season 2 ahead
6.Gladys Delgado (Gloria Calderón Kellett)Tia Gladys is simply a hoot. She’s that energetic, high-spirited, wacky relative who’s got a quick tongue and a huge heart. She may flirt with your man a little on the dance floor, but it’s all in good fun. At the end of the day, she will put her life on the line for her family, but not without taking a few quick jabs first. You never know what she’s going to say or do, and she is responsible for a great deal of With Love’s funniest scenes. And Kellett is just eating this part up — delivering those juicy lines with the perfect balance of tongue-in-cheek playfulness and genuine flirtation. When Tia Gladys appears on the screen, the laughter quickly follows suit. Nothing beats unpredictable zaniness.
Tía Gladys asking all of the important questions. pic.twitter.com/jnXAqDRuD8
— Prime Video (@PrimeVideo) June 2, 2023
5 . Jorge Diaz Jr. (Mark Indelicato) Jorge has a vision for every moment of his life. He has mapped out all the major occasions on Pinterest, and one misplaced flower in a centerpiece at his rehearsal dinner is catastrophic. His need for perfectionism is relatable to anyone who strives to execute their aspirations to a T. And — when he explains to his boyfriend the motivation behind his high-achieving, meticulous planning nature — one can’t help but empathize with Jorge.
Jorge in ‘With Love’ | Prime VideoWhen he was younger, he felt that if he was perfect, “no one could dismiss [him] or reject [him]. “If every detail of [his] outfit or party or whatever was flawless,” he could escape teasing and bullying. Yet, as he matures and grows confident in the smart, thoughtful, and compassionate man he has become, he knows he can release that impulse. He knows it is time to enjoy the blissful relationship and life he’s dreamed of. It’s just not easy to shake lifelong, debilitating habits. Faults and flaws are not problems to be fixed, but aspects of our character to embrace. And Jorge’s journey to self-acceptance is one of the show’s most heartwarming throughlines.
4. Henry (Vincent Rodriguez III) Henry is a devoted and patient boyfriend whose love for Jorge comes pouring out of every decision he makes. He even orchestrates an entire song-and-dance routine to propose to the man he cannot live without — after asking for his parents’ blessings in an act that represents Henry’s respect for Jorge’s family traditions. Some may say that one need not “ask the parents’ blessing” in the 21st century, but it’s a considerate and sweet gesture that goes a long way for Jorge’s family.
Henry and Jorge Jr. in ‘With Love’ | Prime VideoHenry is also the calm to Jorge’s chaos. In all transparency, Jorge is not exactly low-maintenance. Yet, Henry never seems to grow impatient with Jorge. Even when they fight, he makes sure to listen to what Jorge has to say, so that the argument serves a purpose — instead of simply leading to festering aggravation. Henry also loves Jorge’s family and makes sacrifices (like moving back across the country), so Jorge can be close to his family. Love is compromise. Love is sacrifice. Love is patient. Love is welcoming. Love is respect. Henry knows this and puts all these admirable attributes into practice in his relationship.
3. Miles Murphy (Todd Grinnell)Miles takes in Sol’s family as if they’re his own, and he looks after them as such (even worrying about a skin spot he sees on her grandfather’s chest — and must proceed to examine). How do you not love the worrier in the bunch? How do you not fall for the caretaker who brings his significant other breakfast in bed? How does your heart not melt as he learns Spanish on DuoLingo to strengthen the bond between Sol’s family and himself?
Miles, Sol, and Miles’ daughter in ‘With Love’ | IMDbHe’s easily one of the show’s most thoughtful and considerate characters, and he’s quite selfless. While many of the characters in this show have some self-serving tendencies, he is a Doctor when at the office and when at home — never stopping to put others’ needs before his. Even when he doesn’t realize he’s in a queer relationship, he’s quick to listen to how he has upset his significant other, Sol, who is non-binary. He’s quick to ask for information to understand where he’s gone wrong and work on his naive ignorance. He’s not perfect, but he leads with love.
He’s also got an adorable side smirk that works wonders for him, visually complementing his good-boy nature.
2. Marta Delgado (Renee Victor) The matriarch. Marta Delgado comes rushing into the kitchen to share some juicy chisme (gossip) with her daughters the second she’s got her finger on it. When it comes to spilling the tea, we’ve learned from the likes of Bridgerton that those with a few years under their belt do it best. Marta knows how to rally the masses to get the answers she needs. She knows how to orchestrate a little plan — how to puppeteer a few relatives — to uncover any secrets. She’s fun and oh-so-loving. She lights up any room she’s in, as she dances with her husband or watches in awe as her family celebrates life.
@withloveonprime Season Two drops tonight! Catch my mom as Marta & the rest of the cast in this comedy drama. This revolutionary series shows a Latino family in America today with no drug addicts, nobody’s in prison, and nobody’s in a gang, check it out! #reneevictor pic.twitter.com/Yvg5tY0b6S
— Raquel Queen of Bail Bonds (@BONDGIRLRAQUEL) June 2, 2023
Marta, in season 2, episode 2, shows her resiliency, devotion, and bravery in a way that leads to waterfalls (in a show that’s normally lighthearted). When Miles and Sol tell Marta that her husband confused Miles with a relative from his past, she informs them that she’s on top of it. Her husband has dementia, and she’s already been to the doctor. She tells them that when he forgets, she will remember for him. And at this moment, you see the power of a marriage that has stood the test of time — the true meaning of “in sickness and in health.” Marta has been carrying this burden, yet walking with her shoulders back…light as a feather. That degree of strength is admirable and inspiring.
1. Lily Diaz (Emeraude Toubia) We all know at least one Lily in our lives — the hot mess who’s got a ton of ambition but needs to learn how to execute her dreams. She needs to learn how to take that unbridled drive and sculpt a roadmap. Eventually, she will.
She’s also a bit boy-crazy (relatable), and she can’t help but take her shot at the cutest guy on the dancefloor. And, why not? Why shouldn’t she have the best? She leaves her brother’s apartment in shambles — with undergarments just randomly thrown on chairs and the rest of her clothing and belongings spread out in tornado fashion.
Fun fact! #WithLoveTV Season 2 is now streaming on @primevideo. pic.twitter.com/6FcGMMBuP3
— With Love On Prime (@withloveonprime) June 4, 2023
If you don’t know someone like this, you are Lily. And who could forget when she masturbates to the thought of home ownership — sipping a glass of wine in a luxurious clawfoot tub filled to the brim with bubbles? Yes, she may sometimes think about all the boys (and even girls) who have aroused her, but men and women can’t compete with million-dollar homes when it comes to the erotic. It’s funny and so relatable for the millennials watching. She’s going through a quarter-life crisis — ever-so-slightly delayed some may say — but she’s got her own path to take. A path that may come with love, heartache, disappointment, and moments of bliss. She’s on a roller coaster, and Lily, rather than begging to get off the ride, throws her hands in the air and screams. And, for that alone, she is a person we can all learn something from.
One of the most common questions I get asked as a researcher specializing in narcissism and psychopathy is what the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath is. While each person is different and some people may have traits of both narcissism and psychopathy, here are some general distinctions that can help you better identify whether you may be dealing with someone who has more narcissistic or psychopathic traits. Keep in mind that “psychopathy” and “sociopathy” are terms mentioned under the umbrella of Antisocial Personality Disorder in the DSM-5 and do not have their own separate diagnosis. However, the term “psychopath” is used by researchers and clinicians frequently across correctional and legal contexts. It is diagnosed using Dr. Robert Hare’s 20-item Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), a checklist that includes more of the callous-unemotional features of psychopathy. In contrast, the DSM-5 diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder emphasizes more law-breaking behavior which may not apply to every psychopath. Not all those who meet the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder will be full-fledged psychopaths.
Here are the major differences you may notice between narcissists and psychopaths:
Narcissists crave and need adoration, external validation, and praise. Psychopaths can do without it. The heart of narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits is a need and sense of entitlement to external validation. Narcissists crave attention, praise, adoration, and a sense of importance. They need others to affirm their importance. Psychopaths on the other hand exhibit more callous-unemotional traits. They are not as concerned as a narcissist is with the opinions of others unless it is important to their agenda, whatever that may be.
Narcissists lack empathy. Psychopaths lack both remorse and empathy, which is why they can commit sadistic violence without as many limits. Both can harm others with their aggression.Perhaps what makes the psychopath so conscienceless is their lack of remorse as well as empathy. Research shows that psychopaths also have differences in the brain that affect their moral reasoning and that they also lack guilt. This means psychopaths often have nothing holding them back from committing even the most sadistic of crimes. Both narcissists and psychopaths have cognitive empathy and intellectually know the difference between right and wrong, but they simply do not care and lack affective empathy. Both can engage in aggression against others, and psychopaths are very prone to instrumental aggression to achieve a specific purpose (such as conning others). It’s true that more malignant narcissists can lack remorse as well, but lack of remorse and guilt is a defining characteristic of psychopathy whereas there tends to be more variation among narcissists when it comes to remorse and guilt. For example, some vulnerable narcissists may experience shame especially if they are held accountable and exposed to the public, but grandiose narcissists are more like psychopaths in their lack of shame.
Narcissists and psychopaths – depending on the subtype – can lash out for different reasons, but both engage in aggression and have malicious envy. Both narcissists and psychopaths can escalate into violence and both can engage in unprovoked and reactive aggression. Both can also experience malicious envy and target others out of envy according to research. However, there may be differences in why and how they lash out based on the subtype of narcissism or psychopathy involved. Grandiose narcissism is more similar to psychopathy in that both grandiose narcissists and psychopaths are convinced of their superiority—they genuinely believe in it. Psychopaths can manufacture a cold rage to intimidate others, a rage that isn’t truly a “hair-trigger” hot-blooded impulsive rage but one that is exhibited for the purpose of controlling their victims. Research indicates that the traits of grandiose narcissism can protect them against stress or depression. They may be more likely to lash out when their sense of superiority and excessive sense of entitlement are challenged; studies show they show more physiological stress responses when presented with an “ego threat.” However, more vulnerable narcissists and the secondary subtype of psychopathy (known colloquially as the criminally inclined “sociopath”) may struggle more with self-esteem issues. Vulnerable narcissists who are more anxious and defensive and secondary psychopaths also lash out, but they may be more likely than grandiose narcissists and primary psychopaths to be battling a sense of inferiority when doing so. Either way, such rage and aggression can cause great harm to others around them and is inexcusable.
Narcissism can be influenced by parental overvaluation and be partly hereditary as well. Primary psychopaths can be biologically predisposed to psychopathy, but secondary psychopaths are more influenced by their childhood environment.Longitudinal research suggests that parental overvaluation (spoiling and coddling a child), moreso than lack of parental warmth or parental maltreatment predicts narcissistic traits. The secondary subtype of psychopathy is also more associated with childhood trauma, while the primary psychopath (“born rather than made”) is less likely to report childhood trauma or post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Both narcissists and psychopaths can manufacture chaos on purpose. However, people with a higher level of psychopathic traits may find it especially rewarding because they need constant stimulation and are prone to boredom.According to expert Dr. Robert Hare’s psychopathy checklist, psychopaths are prone to boredom and require constant stimulation. Some neuroscience studies implicate their hyperactive dopamine system and subsequent need to obtain a reward at all costs to explain the psychopath’s harmful, impulsive, and reckless behavior. Other research contradicts this and reveals reduced dopaminergic receptor sensitivity, suggesting that psychopaths may actually be less responsive to dopamine and therefore require more of it to get a sense of reward. While more neuroscience research is needed on psychopathy, it’s clear that psychopaths have a dysfunctional relationship with gaining rewards if they need constant stimulation to obtain a sense of reward fully. Psychopaths are high-sensation seekers and often go too far in their search for a thrill. Narcissists may engage in less risk and have more limits and constraints on what they’re willing to do to meet their needs because they are focused on maintaining their status and reputation. They’re concerned with “looking” good and propping up their self-image. It should be noted that both narcissists and psychopaths can be superficially charming. For psychopaths, however, this superficial and glib charm is one of the most glaring red flags of their disorder.
Psychopaths (especially the secondary subtype) frequently engage in reckless and impulsive behavior, violating laws and human rights. Psychopaths, especially more impulsive “criminal” secondary psychopaths or “unsuccessful” psychopaths tend to have criminal versatility and juvenile records. These are the types who may have murder, strangulation, fraud, and robbery on their records. The more “successful” low-anxious primary psychopath can also engage in criminal activity but may never be caught, or they may evade legal consequences by conning and leeching off others in a way that technically isn’t “illegal” although it is deceptive. They may romance a partner for a place to live or exploit the monetary resources of their friends. They may engage in fraudulent behaviors in their businesses but fly under the radar. Narcissists may or may not have engaged in criminal activity and tend to engage in more emotional forms of con artistry. They may be more cautious about taking too many risks that might expose them. Remember: narcissists tend to engage in impression management and wear a convincing false mask so they look like a good person to others. They are more restrained by their self-image whereas psychopaths don’t care about their reputation or status.
The Big Picture: Whether the person you know was more narcissistic or psychopathic, you likely experienced some trauma during your relationship with them due to their manipulative behaviors. It’s important to seek professional support and process your experiences in a safe space. You deserve healing and freedom.
According to Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Bella DePaulo, research indicates that single, childfree women can be just as happy as their coupled counterparts. Although the reasons for this happiness may seem obvious to anyone who’s ever spent any substantial time single or childfree, other people in an excessively couple-focused society may be curious about why a single and childfree lifestyle can be so rewarding. I interviewed therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, as well as childfree, single millennial women to shed light on the benefits of being childfree and single, especially as a woman. The main reasons that childfree and single life was seen as fulfilling? Personal and financial freedom, stronger social networks, less stress, and more professional success.
Here’s what therapists, doctors, and childfree millennial women had to say about the personal freedom and success this lifestyle offers:“I am a Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University and the director of an entrepreneurial mental health clinic based in New York City. Living a childfree and single life can be a liberating experience, especially for millennial women in the age range of 25-40. It offers an unparalleled opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and the pursuit of individual passions. Here are some benefits I’ve observed in my practice and personal life. First, freedom and flexibility. Without the responsibilities of parenting, women can explore different career paths, travel extensively, and invest time in hobbies and interests. This flexibility can lead to a rich, fulfilling life that might not be possible with the commitments that come with having children. Next, self-care and mental health. Being childfree allows for more time to focus on mental health and well-being. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and time for relaxation and reflection can be more easily prioritized. There’s also the benefit of financial independence. Without the financial burden of raising children, women can invest in their future, whether that’s starting a business, buying a home, or saving for retirement. Community engagement is another benefit. Many childfree women I’ve worked with have found fulfillment in engaging with their communities, whether through volunteering, activism, or mentorship programs. They can also have deeper relationships. Being single and childfree can provide more time and energy to cultivate meaningful relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. As a queer man living a childfree life, I can attest to these benefits. The freedom and flexibility have allowed me to focus on my career, contribute to my community, and cultivate deep, meaningful relationships.”
— Dr. Ryan Sultan, Professor at Columbia University
“As a therapist and someone who fits this demographic, I understand the significance of being a childfree and single millennial woman (age range 25-40). From my professional experience and personal perspective, I can attest to the numerous benefits associated with this lifestyle. Choosing to be childfree and single can provide an incredible sense of freedom and self-discovery. It allows individuals to focus on personal growth, pursue their passions, and establish a strong sense of identity. By prioritizing their own needs and desires, millennial women have the opportunity to create lives that align with their values and aspirations, without the added responsibilities of parenthood. Through my work with millennial women who are childfree and single, I have observed a remarkable resilience and self-assuredness. They demonstrate a unique sense of empowerment, allowing them to design lives that are fulfilling and meaningful. This lifestyle offers flexibility in pursuing career opportunities, personal growth, and meaningful connections. These women often engage in self-care practices, have more time for self-reflection, and are actively involved in activities that contribute to their overall well-being and happiness. Being childfree and single provides millennial women with the freedom to make decisions based solely on personal preferences and goals. It allows for greater flexibility in navigating life’s challenges and opportunities. With this freedom, these women can focus on building strong relationships, both platonic and romantic, and enjoy the benefits of independence and self-sufficiency.”
— Ann Russo, LCSW, Therapist and Clinical Director of AMR Therapy
“Being a childfree and single millennial woman can provide a multitude of benefits. It offers the freedom to fully focus on personal growth, career advancement, and self-discovery. Without the responsibilities of raising children or being in a committed relationship, one can allocate time, energy, and resources towards pursuing higher education, professional development, and achieving personal goals. It allows for greater flexibility in decision-making, independence, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Additionally, being childfree and single can foster a sense of adventure, exploration, and the opportunity to build a strong support network, meaningful friendships, and engage in self-care practices. Ultimately, it offers the chance to shape one’s own life path and priorities according to individual preferences and aspirations.”
— Dr. Zeeshan Afzal, MD, Welzo Medical Officer
“Being child-free allows you the freedom and flexibility in
your schedule to cater to your needs and wants. There aren’t any immediate dependents that rely on you. You have the liberty to travel whenever your work schedule allows you to. You are free to make independent decisions with respect to your career, money, and passion in life. Since there are no direct dependents relying on you, you can invest money and time into a long-sought passion without risking any sort of familial sacrifice. Such individuals often have a hard-earned success story in terms of monetizing their passion.”
— Dr. Joe Gardzina, Psychiatrist and Founder of ADAPT Programs
“Many of my clients are millennial women who are single, childfree and between 25-40. I have noticed many benefits to choosing to be childfree for this population. First and foremost is that as any mother will tell you, having children makes it exceedingly hard to focus on yourself. It is very difficult to have the time and energy to focus on one’s own hobbies, travel, healing, self-care, leisure, and pursuing interests and
relationships in the same way that a childfree woman can. Childfree women can fully explore their own pursuits and can create rich lives by doing so. Childfree women can also engage with the children in their life in a way that is fulfilling and fun, without it completely taking over by having to do it 24/7. This allows these women to really make the most out of the time they do have to connect with kids. It is important that women choose the path that feels right for them without pressure or judgment from others. Having children is not for everyone and nobody is served (especially the children) when women have children they don’t fully want.”
— Dr. Linda Baggett, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Being single and childfree allows women to prioritize their goals, mental and emotional well-being, as well as self-discovery. Therapist Dolly Ferraiuolo, LCSW says: “As a licensed therapist specializing in women’s issues, I have had the privilege of working with diverse clients, each with their own unique experiences and perspectives. One topic that frequently arises in my sessions is the decision to be child-free and the profound impact it has on women’s lives. I’ll share the general observations I’ve made from serving clients in this demographic and delve into why both my clients and I embrace the choice of being child-free. The first reason is the empowering autonomy it provides. Many of my clients have expressed a strong desire for personal autonomy and freedom in their lives. Choosing to be child-free allows them to prioritize their individual goals, aspirations, and personal growth. By not becoming parents, they can devote their time, energy, and resources to their own well-being and pursue their passions wholeheartedly. The next is career and professional development. In today’s world, women are pursuing careers and achieving professional milestones like never before.
Many of my clients have shared their ambitions and the sense of fulfillment they derive from their professional lives. Being child-free provides them with the flexibility and availability to dedicate themselves fully to their careers, taking on new challenges, and making significant contributions in their respective fields. There’s also emotional and mental well-being. Parenthood is undoubtedly a profound and rewarding experience, but it also brings with it significant responsibilities and sacrifices. For some women, maintaining their emotional and mental well-being takes precedence. They prioritize self-care, mental health, and nurturing their own emotional stability. Choosing to be child-free allows them to focus on their own healing and personal growth journey.
There’s also freedom and lifestyle. Not having children grants women the freedom to craft their own lifestyles and make choices aligned with their preferences. They can travel, explore new hobbies, engage in spontaneous adventures, and cultivate a fulfilling social life. The absence of parenting responsibilities provides the flexibility to shape their lives according to their values, passions, and changing circumstances. I, too, have made the deliberate choice to be child-free. For me, it is an affirmation of my autonomy, a testament to my commitment to my career, and an avenue for personal growth. By embracing this choice, I can fully devote myself to my clients, continuously expand my knowledge and expertise, and provide the highest level of care. It allows me to lead a balanced life, nurture my own well-being, and be fully present for my clients. But also, I love being able to sleep in on the weekends, go to fancy dinners with my friends, travel without guilt, and invest in my own continuing education, which can be quite costly. The decision to be child-free is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors unique to each individual. My clients’ experiences and my own journey have taught me that embracing this choice can lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life. It allows women to explore their passions, prioritize their well-being, and contribute to society in diverse and remarkable ways. Let us celebrate and respect the beauty of being child-free, honoring the diverse paths women choose to follow.”
—Dolly Ferraiuolo, LCSW, Owner and Executive Director of SHARE
“I am a 27-year old licensed mental health counselor who has chosen to be childfree for the foreseeable future. On a personal level, this decision has afforded me a profound sense of freedom and flexibility that’s empowered my journey of self-discovery and growth. Being childfree has not only allowed me to focus on my career but also on my personal development and relationships with loved ones. From a professional standpoint, I’ve observed a sense of lightness and unparalleled self-awareness in my clients who have also chosen a childfree path. There is a notable vibrancy and freedom in their lives that stems from being able to direct their energy towards their personal development, passions, and dreams. Often, societal narratives suggest that fulfillment for women comes with motherhood. However, I witness every day that fulfillment is deeply personal and not tied to a universal role or expectation. It’s a joy and an honor to be part of a demographic that redefines fulfillment, celebrates choice, and cherishes personal freedom.”
— Hannah Mayderry, M.Ed., Ed.S, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
“The biggest benefit to being single and childless is happiness. Married women with children often express their frustrations in therapy. They express feeling undervalued and unappreciated. They have sacrificed in both their personal and professional life, caring not only for themselves, but performing the unpaid labor of caring for a husband and children. Although there is the myth of happily ever after in marriage, evidently single women without children are the happiest.”
— Sarah Reid, LMHC
“I work with many women who have chosen this lifestyle. Women who have chosen to be single and childfree often report greater freedom than those who have chosen to have a family. Women who are single and childfree are able to focus on other things that may be important to them whether it be career, artistic pursuits, or simply enjoying one’s life. Disposable income and free time come much more easily to single, child-free women. Additionally, it is vitally important that we do not prescribe one way for life to be lived.”
— Dr. Dana Harron, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Monarch Wellness
“I am a licensed marriage and family therapist. The choice of being childfree and single seems to be ones that a growing number of the population are choosing. There are many benefits to making these life choices. Being childfree and single provides you with time to focus on yourself. You’re able to pursue your own hobbies, travel, and take on educational or professional pursuits without having to consider the needs of anyone else. As a single person, you have sole control over how you manage your finances; there’s no need to split costs with a partner or account for unexpected expenses related to children. This can give you peace of mind knowing that should anything happen unexpectedly in the future, you won’t be left with financial burdens alone. Finally, being childfree and single gives you a wider array of choices when it comes to deciding what direction your life will take. There are no obligations or expectations put upon you by anyone else, so you can pick and choose what activities, commitments and relationships you pursue. You have the ability to go about as you please. When you want to travel or go out for a night, you don’t have to scramble to get someone to babysit for you nor do you have to answer to a spouse. You have the freedom to go where you want, when you want and how you want. You are able to focus on yourself. You don’t have to sacrifice your dream for your child’s or husbands. You can concentrate on what you want in life and that can be a very liberating and empowering feeling. Although being single and childfree does not mean you’re free from responsibilities, it does provide you with more freedom and flexibility to pursue your personal needs.”
— Kalley Hartman, LMFT, Ocean Recovery
“There is a common saying we hear amongst millennial women: you can have it all. Within this saying there is an unspoken (or sometimes spoken) narrative that having it all means that you are married with two and a half kids, a dog and own a house with a white picket fence. Oh, and you also have your dream job. What if having it all looks different to everyone and does not involve kids? What if having it all for me means that I run my own business and get to sleep in as late as I want? Maybe having it all means you travel whenever and wherever you want and do not have to answer to anyone. Why does there have to be a one size fits all definition of having it all? Some women love being parents and would not have it any other way. Some women love not being parents and would not have it any other way. Sadly, for women who love not being parents, when they enter their mid-twenties, questions start to sneak into family dinners or drinks with friends about why they are single and if they are lonely without kids. What people don’t realize are all the amazing benefits of being childfree. More sleep. You control your own time and schedule. Increased freedom. More disposable income. More flexibility in traveling. You can focus on your friends, family and self. More time for professional goals. Research shows that couples without kids are actually happier than those with kids! ”
— Sarah Rollins, LMSW
“Being a childfree and single millennial woman can have several mental health benefits, as it allows for greater freedom, flexibility, and
autonomy in various aspects of life. Raising children can be demanding and comes with its own set of responsibilities. By choosing to be childfree, you may experience lower levels of stress that are typically associated with parenting such as financial pressures, time constraints, and the emotional toll that can come with raising children. Without the
responsibilities of raising children, you have more freedom and flexibility to shape your life according to your own desires and goals. You can make choices based solely on your own needs and preferences, which can contribute to a greater sense of control and personal fulfillment.”
— Haley Riddle, LPCA
There is more freedom to travel and explore the world.“As a millennial who has never been married or had kids, I’ve been able to do so much more, I believe, than if I’d worried about having to do those things. I’ve been able to get two Master’s degrees – one abroad while also getting citizenship. I’ve been able to travel solo and do a lot of archaeology, and have so much freedom to fulfill various dreams, even if they happened later than expected. I’ve talked to so many women who wished they’d waited longer to get married – and the older I get, the less I care about even thinking about marriage in general. I’ve never been super concerned about it to be honest, as I always wanted to be single to experience the world on my own. I might just be atypical, at least in the eyes of society, but why does society have these expectations of people? In my experience, there’s a lot of this need that many men have to control women. I can’t understand why more women don’t fight against this more when it comes to relationships (not just laws). There’s so much to experience in the world beyond worrying about what society thinks, in my opinion, whether people choose to get married or have kids or not—whatever makes people happy, should be totally fine and acceptable (because I know of plenty of couples who travel together and support one another, which is also great for them)! I think striving for equality of men and women should be made a priority above pushing people to get married and have kids. If they want that for themselves, great—if not, why try to control people? We can all do so much for our own lives and the world, if we’d focus on the right things.
— Sarah Simon, Founder of the Travel Blog, Mukikapup’s Travels
“Kiss traditional traps goodbye. After internalizing stories where the ‘boy next door’ was supposed to be your best friend and the love of your life, the digital age made the world easily accessible, allowing millennial women to not only internationally date, but explore and create their own world. Single millennial women choose to avoid traditional traps with courage and an honest sense of human value and self-trust. Unsurprisingly, this has led to more women like me deciding to trade their baby dolls for airline tickets and postpone having children until they are truly ready to parent a child. As a Black, 33-year-old behavioral health professional (former therapist) who spent almost ten years earning degrees in higher education, it is less about me ‘not having kids’ and more about me prioritizing and clarifying my sense of self and trusting my intuition that will later serve me well in motherhood if that becomes a part of my journey. Part of my human gift is discovering peace in the present moment and trusting I know what I want and need. The benefit of being childfree and single is that I can make both of those happen right now without needing to care for someone else first. The benefits are: I can explore and follow my curiosities freely. I can avoid unexpected challenges that only upend my lifestyle and routine. I experience less anxiety with mistakes and recovery. I could have become a parent earlier on in life. It was my choice not to. This is a well-deserved freedom previously inaccessible to women, and I don’t see myself trading it anytime soon.”
— Sierra McKissick, MDiv., MA, Behavioral & Spiritual Health Specialist and Development Coach
“Being childfree and single has empowered me to reinvent myself daily, pursuing my passions on a budget. It led me to build a startup accelerator and now a skincare brand, Dune Care, where I make a positive impact on people with eczema. This lifestyle taught me the value of self-care, nurturing my well-being and enabling personal growth. Without traditional family responsibilities, I have the freedom to allocate my time, resources, and energy to explore my dreams and make a tangible difference in the world. Creating something meaningful and contributing to others’ lives is a thrilling journey I embrace wholeheartedly.”
— Margaux Pagès, Founder of Dune Care
The decision to be childfree is far from selfish—it can stem from a place of great self-awareness and understanding of the world we live in today.“Unfortunately, we live in a society in which women who choose to not have children are often seen as selfish. However, neither being a mother or choosing not to have children should be wrong. Choosing to be childfree is not selfish, and a right that every woman should experience. Women without children can not only live fulfilling lives, but also be of incredible service to others by having more time to devote to causes that are important to them. Not having children provides women with more freedom of time, money, and resources, which can be allocated to other areas of their lives, such as career, travel, and community service.”
— Dr. Sarah F. Spiegelhoff, Ph.D., LMHC, NCC
“Many of my clients express concern over being viewed as “selfish” for not having children. My first question is: what’s wrong with prioritizing yourself and your needs? Selfish isn’t the same as being self-centered and it doesn’t have to be a dirty word. My second question is: what is selfish about not wanting to subject yourself to a process that has severe physiological, psychological, emotional, social, economic, and financial impacts for the rest of your life? This process can be rewarding for some and devastating for others—the important part is that you make the best choice for YOU. The expectation to become a mother is rooted in patriarchal, heteronormative culture. From a feminist and humanistic perspective, we know that shame is a universal experience for most women, and many of my clients have expressed feeling shame for not wanting to be mothers. The thing is, though, a woman’s value goes so far beyond her reproductive organs and her contributions to a nuclear family! When my clients deconstruct the origins of their conditioning, it can be really empowering for them to then create space for all the other things they value in their lives. These concerns are incredibly valid and until society chooses to safeguard women, especially women of color who have worse outcomes, it makes sense to opt out of motherhood. Personally, as a high-achieving and career-oriented woman, I’ve never been comfortable with the economic and financial impact that pregnancy and motherhood would likely have on my career.
We know that society continues to have bias toward mothers in the workplace, that mothers are more likely to lose out on yearsof career advancement, and that our social policies don’t support mothers (no universal paid maternal leave, no assistance with childcare, to name a few). The current political landscape is absolutely terrifying. Millennials are unable to afford adequate housing because of the student debt crisis and outrageous housing prices. Women of color continue to experience systemic violence and oppression. LGBTQIA+ folks are being targeted for existing authentically. Reproductive healthcare is expensive and inaccessible for so many people, leading to dangerous outcomes for women. Being childfree is a choice that I honestly feel simply protects my right to life. Until society can truly support women, being childfree helps me ensure that my investments into my career don’t just disappear. When I think about my core values, or things that make my life worth living, words like “exploration” and “connection” come to mind. As a childfree adult, I’m able to allocate my time and money toward experiences that align with my values. I get to prioritize international travel and explore new cultures! I get to connect with friends through hobby groups and brunch dates because I’m able to create time for those things. I can decide to sleep in one day because I’m tired! Being childfree is incredibly freeing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
— Laura Sgro, LCSW, Licensed Therapist
“I am a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 7 years in the field. I’ve worked with both adult and adolescent clients in agency and private practice settings. We often look at the benefits for adults, specifically young adults, in making these decisions. And yet, we often overlook the cost to children today in having parents who were not given the opportunity to explore life, heal emotional wounds and trauma, and find the best version of themselves before taking on the responsibility of shaping another human being. The healing of generational trauma doesn’t just come from identifying what our parents were carrying, and how they could have done better, but by taking a breath and finding our own path free of the generational pipeline.”
— Nicole Depasquale, EDS, LPC
“The decision to be about 25-40 years old and live independently without any children is often driven by a deliberate choice, guided by sound reasoning and logic, not by their lack of ability to form meaningful connections. There are millennials who actively choose solitude, free from the responsibilities of a family. They make a conscious decision to prioritize their own personal growth and well-being. Those who understand the weighty burden that comes with starting a family and question their own capabilities choose to refrain from taking that step. The realization of one’s limitations and the understanding that one may not be able to provide the necessary support and guidance as a parent and a spouse is a sign of maturity and self-awareness. Raising children is a lot of hard work, and the demands and pressures of parenting can take a toll on one’s mental health, as the responsibilities, stress, and emotional challenges involved in raising children can significantly impact one’s well-being and overall psychological state. Some understand that bringing a child into this world just because “one wants kids or continued lineage” is selfish. They consider the fact that they’re bringing a child into a society that may subject them (the child) to hardships, and they also acknowledge their own limitations as parents. So, most millennials who are childfree and single have done so after carefully considering the potential challenges and negatives associated with starting a family. They understand that romantic notions alone do not guarantee a successful and fulfilling family life. Instead, they prioritize self-awareness and choose to refrain from engaging in relationships where they may not be able to provide the emotional connection and support that their partner would expect.”
—Stephanie Pawlak, Dating and Relationship Expert at FlingorLove
“I have a Master’s degree in marriage, family and relationship counseling. I am also a female, childfree millennial business owner–something I pride myself on. As a millennial woman, running my own gig and totally rocking the single and child-free life, it’s not just about being free—it’s about living life on my terms. I mean, who wouldn’t love a little more me time? No shared calendars, no compromises. I set my own goals, dive into my passions, and honestly, it’s a pretty sweet deal. I can put in the extra hours for my business or just decide to take a break and catch a late-night movie without worrying about babysitters or school pickups. One of the coolest things? The freedom to pack my bags and jet off on an adventure whenever I feel like it. Weekends aren’t just for groceries and soccer practice but for conferences, crash courses, gym, and sometimes, a solo trip to somewhere exotic. Being financially independent, without anyone relying on my income, gives me a kick. It’s liberating to know that I can invest in my business, travel, and in my personal growth, without hesitating about providing for others. Stress is mostly work-related. And that’s the way I prefer it. No fretting about parent-teacher meetings or toddler tantrums or school tuitions. My mental space is my focused, creative playground, boosting my entrepreneurial journey.”
— Tina Fey, MA, Relationship Expert at Love Connection
There are also perks such as more financial freedom and deeper connections.“People who are childless and single have the freedom to create the lifestyle they want. They are free to move about, experience new things, and personalize their living circumstances as they see fit. With this freedom, one may be spontaneous and seize chances that might not be as accessible to individuals who have family obligations. Being childless and single can frequently result in more financial security and professional success. People may dedicate their resources to pursuing their personal and professional goals as they are not burdened with the costs of having children. They may invest in their jobs, seek further education, and make financial decisions that support their long-term objectives. It is not necessary to be alone if you are childless and single. In reality, it may present an opportunity for people to develop deep interpersonal bonds and meaningful partnerships. Without the obligations of parenthood or a committed relationship, people have more time and energy to devote to friendships, volunteer work, and other social pursuits, generating a vibrant and rewarding social life.”
— Erin Murphy, CEO of Best in Ireland
“I’m 27, and the best part about being single and child-free is that I can make plans on the spot without having to worry about anyone. I can randomly decide to go on a vacation, take a trip, go to the club, or even go out for dinner anytime, any day. I also get to spend all my money on me. With children, most of your finances go toward covering their expenses, and yours come last. Even in a relationship, you may find yourself taking care of your spouse financially, like covering bills. The financial and social freedom that comes with being single and child-free is what I enjoy the most!
— Felister Morra, Head of Marketing at FlexiPCB
The Big Picture If you are single and childfree or considering this lifestyle long-term, rest assured you’re in good company and don’t have to let societal pressures sway your authentic desires. Even if you do want a relationship or children in the future, recognizing the benefits of being single over settling for a toxic relationship can still benefit you and your life-course trajectory. There are many benefits to being a childfree single woman according to both the experts as well as the women who have lived experiences. Whatever journey you choose and feel is most empowering for you is valid.
Amazon Prime recently released the poster for the much anticipated adaptation of Casey McQuiston’s wildly successful novel, Red White & Royal Blue. And it’s got a release date! The world will meet the son of the American president and the prince of England–and their epic love story–streaming on Amazon Prime on August 11, 2023.
Love who you want. It’s good foreign policy. #RWRBMovie pic.twitter.com/LParjUXCBp
— Prime Video (@PrimeVideo) May 24, 2023
Red White & Royal Blue follows the son of the female (Yay for gender equality!) President of the United States as he tries to navigate his hatred for the Prince of England. Alex thinks British snob Henry is insufferable. So why does he keep wanting to be around him? Yep, it’s the queer enemies-to-lovers romance you love, now with a film adaptation.
But it all comes down to casting, right? They need to get Alex and Henry right or it’ll never work. Here’s who’s playing the duo in Prime’s RW&RB:
Taylor Zahar Perez plays Alex Claremont-DiazAlex is a bit of a bad boy who regularly gets his face splashed all over the American tabloids. He dates around, he attends parties, and he’s just a tiny bit of an embarrassment to his President mother. For the film, Alex is played by Taylor Zahar Perez. You might know him best from his role as girlfriend-stealing Marco in The Kissing Booth 2 and 3 (2020, 2021) on Netflix. It looks like he might have just the right amount of swagger to play Alex.
Nicholas Galitzine plays Prince HenryAmazon StudiosPrince Henry is the antithesis to Alex. He’s got all the quiet manners that you’d expect from the Prince of England. He’s also exceptionally good at keeping his feelings hidden. Prince Henry is played by Nicholas Galitzine. You might recognize him as another prince: Prince Robert from Camila Cabello and Billy Porter’s version of Cinderella (2021). He has one of those princely faces that seems perfect for the role of Henry.
Red White & Royal Blue comes out August 11, 2023Ultimately, how good the adaptation is comes down to the chemistry between the characters–and actors. Will Zahar Perez and Galitzine pull off the tricky enemies-to-lovers trope? Will Amazon’s vision match what so many fans of the book have after reading (and probably re-reading) the source material? We’ll just have to wait for August to see!
I can already hear the collective groans coming from anyone who’s peeped the title of this article. “We don’t need a new Office! Can’t Hollywood come up with any original ideas! Quit ruining something that was already perfect!” It’s become a popular refrain every time a new rehash of a popular franchise is announced. We’ve seen it a lot recently with news about Twister 2 and Beetlejuice 2. And now with news of a brand new version of The Office, a series that has people subscribing to Peacock solely for the privilege of binging all their favorite episodes, you can bet people are poised with their thumbs hovering over a nasty Twitter response over it.
The new version features a female lead as branch manager and a new modern, post-pandemic storyline. Before you start polishing your pitchforks, maybe you should give the new version of The Office–coming to Amazon Prime in 2024—a chance. Here’s why:
This new version is set in Australia.It’ll be a lot easier to deal with an absence of Steve Carell as bumbling regional manager Michael Scott (or Ricky Gervais’s David Brent, for that matter) if the show doesn’t even take place on the same continent. This new iteration of The Office is taking place in Australia. With that far of a removal from the Office you know and love, it should be easier to give this one a chance.
This is one of many international versions of the show.Before you get all high and mighty about an Australian Office, here’s something you might not know: The American Office wasn’t the only international spin-off of the British original. Almost always taking place in the offices of a paper company, the show has had its own versions in 14 different countries, including Chile, the Czech Republic, and a recent version in Saudi Arabia.
BBCFrankly, it’s surprising that Australia is only just now joining the ranks of Office elite. While it’s had versions all over the world, this’ll be only the third English-language Office behind the British and America series. (Though Canada got their own version, La Job, it was in French.)
It’s not just a same old plot.In most iterations of The Office, you find a male branch manager of a paper company who’s just trying to get his staff to like him. There’s the sweet assistant who doesn’t realize that her best friend is in love with her, à la Jim and Pam.
BBC StudiosYes, it’d be annoying to relive that plot again, especially when many regard American Office’s rendition as nearly perfect. But that’s not what Australian Office is doing. Instead, it stars Australian comedian Felicity Ward (Wakefield) as a female version of management. And rather than running the in-person offices of a paper company, she’s attempting to keep her staff at a packaging company happy as they all go to the work-from-home model.
Will it be a fun switch-up to the traditional plot? Maybe. We’ll just have to watch to find out.
They had the same complaints about the American Office, and look how that turned out.You might have forgotten how much hatred the U.S. version of the Office got when it first came out. You couldn’t talk about the show without some dude-bro saying “the British office did it better.” In fact, as the first season came out, USA Today reviewed it, saying it was a “passable imitation of a miles-better BBC original.”
Imagine if NBC had listened to the critics and angry fans. We wouldn’t have gotten 9 seasons of a great TV show that went on to win 42 Primetime Emmys over its run. Perhaps the Australian Office will have the same success? All we can do is watch on Amazon Prime in 2024 and decide for ourselves.
Sickness. Sacrifice. Grief. Protection. Acceptance. These are a mere fraction of the abundant themes that contribute to the most heartbreaking cinematic moments: the on-screen spectacles that leave viewers in shambles, tears running down their faces, saturating the popcorn in their laps. So, if you need a good cry — an excuse to let out all the strife you’ve been shoving down — here are the movie moments to look back on.
Spoilers ahead!
“You can have their future” | ‘Stepmom’ 1998Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts star across one another in this melodramatic film that unapologetically bypasses subtlety on the road to sappy (but we’re not mad about it). Sarandon plays Jackie — who is “mother earth incarnate,” according to Roberts. She’s the instinctive caretaker. She knows her children’s quirks and desires, their wants and needs as if they were her own. Roberts is the stepmom, Isabel — with unorthodox parental methods that add a bit of flair to the old-school formulas. Yet, when Jackie gets cancer, she must accept that Isabel will become her children’s primary caretaker, culminating in an unforgettable moment of acceptance and vulnerability.
Isabel reveals her greatest fear — that on their daughter’s wedding day, the pure bliss the young bride should feel will be dampened, as she wishes her mom was there. And Jackie, in a moment of unparalleled vulnerability, reveals her greatest fear — that her daughter won’t even be thinking about her. The moment ends with a sagacious line of dialogue, in which Sarandon says, “I have their past, and you can have their future.”
“Give my daughter the shot!” | ‘Terms of Endearment’ 1983Shirley MacLaine delivers a scene so iconic as Aurora in Terms of Endearment that it was even parodied by Fran Drescher in The Nanny. It’s simple: her daughter is sick and dying, and it’s time for the nurses to provide the shot that helps with her pain. MacLaine’s character cannot save her daughter. And, at this moment, she grabs onto one action she has any semblance of control over.
She cannot change the future, but she can make these last moments as painless as possible. And, when the nurses don’t immediately hop into action, she screams with fervor, blowing the roof off the hospital until she sees them tend to her daughter. The pretense of decorum that she maintains as a cold and polished woman finally evaporates. It doesn’t help that the duo have a complicated past — a relationship marked by Aurora’s passing judgments, snide asides, and unreachable expectations. Can she right all the wrong she has done as her daughter lay in a hospital bed?
“Take My Little Girl” | ‘Sophie’s Choice’ 1982No parent should ever have to choose which of their children deserves to live, and that is exactly what a Nazi forces Sophie (Meryl Streep) to do in Sophie’s Choice. He tells her, “You may keep one of your children.” She holds on tightly to her baby girl and son, explaining that she cannot choose. How is a mother supposed to send one of her children to their immediate death via gas chamber? Yet, if she doesn’t choose, she loses both. She fights. She begs. She pleads. She panics. Tears bubble in her eyes, as the Nazi verbally berates her, threatening to take both, and, at last, the words slip out of her mouth: “Take my little girl.”
Toni Collette wailing in agony | ‘Hereditary’ 2018 Hereditary may be a horror movie, but its dramatic undertones and portrayal of grief warrant its place on this list. Toni Collette, upon discovering her daughter has died — her head decapitated by a telephone pole, and what remains of her body left in the car — accesses a level of authentic agony rarely seen on screen.
In an Oscar-worthy, yet utterly snubbed performance, she wails, her voice cracking with disbelief, “Oh god! It hurts too much,” she yells. A mix of grief, shock, and an inability to imagine a life without her daughter surge to the surface, as she utters, “I just need to die.” It’s a jaw-dropping performance. A tearjerking moment that instantaneously supplants the film’s former eerie atmosphere with one of deafening loss. Within moments, the tone shifts seamlessly from suspense to sorrow. And it’s all thanks to a heartwrenching Collette.
“I Wanna Know Why” | ‘Steel Magnolias’ 1989 “I’m fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can’t. She never could…I wanna know why. I wanna know why Shelby’s life is over…” Parents are not supposed to lose their children — it’s not the order of things. You call someone who loses their spouse a widow, a child who loses their parent an orphan. Yet, there remains no word for a parent who loses their child, and that’s because it is an act against nature. A brutal loss one cannot prepare for.
In this scene, Sally Field wails in agony on the day of her daughter’s funeral. “It’s not supposed to happen this way,” she says, “I’m supposed to go first.” She would climb into that coffin and take her daughter’s place if she could, but she is left on this earth to carry on. Expected to continue living, but how? Field effortlessly transitions from sadness to anger — just as grief plays out in various ways — so does Field’s Golde Globe-nominated performance. In one moment, tears run down her face as her body seems lifeless. Seconds later, her fury bubbles as her body becomes jittery with the adrenaline of her rage.
Guido’s final performance | ‘Life Is Beautiful’ 1998 What would you do to shield your innocent child from the horrors of a concentration camp? What would you do to preserve his wonder and innocence in the face of unbridled cruelty and abuse? Would you consider convincing him that it’s all a game? Guido makes his son, Goisue, believe that they earn points by adhering to strict rules, performing tasks, and hiding from the guards. Guido’s relentless optimism — his feigned sense of nonchalance and jocularity is at once awe-inspiring and tragic. He is deathly afraid but keeps his fear from his child.
In the end, Guido puts on one final performance for his son. He walks to his death. He winks before employing an exaggerated, circus-like gait. He knows he’s about to be shot, but he can’t let his son (who’s peeking out from his hiding place) see him falter. The movie shows the sacrifices a parent will make — and the strength they can summon — when their child’s spirit is on the line.
“I Hate You” | ‘Room’ 2016A small room with his mother. In captivity. A daily regimen of exercise and simple meals. Conversations only ever between two. It’s all Jack knows. Ma (Brie Larson) has protected him from the truth – from the beauty of the outside world. She doesn’t want him to understand they are trapped — being held captive by his mother’s kidnapper. Yet, when he comes of age, so does the truth, as he is going to help them escape.
Ma concocts a plan. She will make their captor believe Jack has died and wrap him up in the area rug on the floor (for him to take away). Once in the truck, Jack will roll out of the rug, jump out when the car stops, and begin to yell for help. Yet, for this to work, the two have to practice rolling him up real tight. They do it over and over again. He’s moving too much. Not still enough. Not stiff enough. She gets angry. He gets angry. And finally, those dreadful words, as tears roll down his face, come out of his mouth — “I hate you!” Yet, this “I hate you” is so much more loaded than the angsty teenager’s you-don’t-get-me-esque-spiel. Jack does not understand the depth of the situation. He is not old enough to see that this is not a passing phase for his mother, but a last-ditch effort to create a life for the two of them. His innocence and aggravation combined with her commitment and protective instinct ia simply too much to withstand. Prepare for waterworks.
“Every day I wake up, and I hope you’re dead” | ‘Marriage Story’ 2019 “Every day I wake up, and I hope you’re dead. Dead like if I could guarantee Henry would be okay, I’d hope you get an illness and then get hit by a car, and die.” Bitter divorces bring out the worst in people. Divorces with years of baggage at the helm — unspoken grievances, festering disappointments swept under the rug, parental conflicts never resolved. That’s what’s at play in Marriage Story.
Charlie (Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlett Johansson), who once had the most tender relationship, have become enemies at the fray. They’ve both hired top-notch lawyers to drown the other. It’s malicious. It’s petty. It’s vindictive. And, at this moment, Charlie has had enough, and he utters words he can never take back. At this moment, he wants to inflict the most pain imaginable on his ex-wife, and while he may not mean these words, he is seeing red and merely yearns for her undoing. He sees a route to “win” this battle they have both already irreversibly lost, and he takes it.
This scene is less tear-jerking in its sadness and more shell-shocking. You stare at the screen frozen. Unable to process any dialogue that follows suit. Your eyes bulge at the extent of the vitriol spewed. It’s soul-shaking poignancy via Noah Baumbach’s deft dialogue and Driver’s authentic mix of depletion, anger, and sorrow.
Mufasa’s death | ‘The Lion King’ 1994 For an animated children’s movie, Disney really tugs at the heartstrings with this one. Mufasa falls to his death in slow-motion, after his brother Scar aids in his destruction. Mufasa used all his strength and power to climb to the edge of that cliff, as Scar looked on with condemnation and disdain. Scar then contributes to his brother’s demise before snarkily uttering, “Long live the King.” Yet, it is Simba’s reaction to his father’s death that is unbearable.
Simba goes to look for his father, yelling “dad” among the fog, only to stumble upon Mufasa’s lifeless body. Simba nestles his head into his father’s nose, and begs him to “get up,” but nothing happens. He pulls on his ear. He cries for help, until finally accepting his father’s death and cuddling up next to him before Scar’s inevitable arrival. A child should not lose a parent before they come of age. Who is supposed to teach him to be king? Who will be his father now?
Honorable Moving Mentions: + Up (2009): The opening scene, during which you watch a man fall in love with and lose his beloved wife all in montage format. + A Monster Calls (2017): When Conor, whose mother has been sick for quite some time, finally admits to himself that he just yearns for his agony to be over (virtually admitting that his mother’s death would bring some peace from the tragic anticipation). + Jojo Rabbit (2019): When Jojo finds his mother hanging for her crimes and grabs her legs, squeezing on tight to the perfect mom he has lost. He tries to tie her shoes but fails, for he still needs her. He’s still not grown. + Marley & Me (2008): When the dog dies (this needs no further explanation). + Avengers: Endgame (2019): When Hawkeye and Black Widow fight over who will sacrifice themselves AND when Tony Stark sacrifices himself to bring back half of humankind. + Beaches (1988):* When Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” plays as Hillary dies on the beach. Whether it’s the music, the moment or both is anyone’s guess.
Netflix is cracking down on password sharing — forcing primary users to add subaccounts if they wish to continue sharing their access to the streaming platform with those outside their household. The catch: you can only add one with a basic subscription and two with a premium one, and they cost an additional $7.99 / month! Let’s just say this seems like the most consumer-aggravating way to squeeze extra money out of users — in a last-ditch effort to improve profit margins. And well…Netflix subscribers aren’t happy. Some are even bidding the streaming giant a bitter farewell.
Did you think through all scenarios, Netflix?
Ahhh. Its finally happening in the US. @netflix is cracking down on Password sharing. Time to #CancelNetflix. This is stupid btw cause I'm in a hospital and not at home with my family that I share Netflix with. pic.twitter.com/LEJRYYpDGo
— The_Legendary_Quarintined_Potato (@LegendarySuper7) May 26, 2023
Can someone or @netflix explain how this new policy works when one partner travels outside of the home? When families go to vacation homes? When children go away to grandparents houses for the summer?
Did anyone think this through it all?https://t.co/fyHezGQtjG
— Casey (she/her) (@MamaSissieSays) May 25, 2023
They’re just not getting it…
Netflix: we are going to start charging people for sharing passwords
Us: fine we just gonna cancel our subscriptions then
Netflix:that was a mistake we aren’t going to do that
(1 year later)
Netflix: we are going to start charging people for sharing passwords
Us: pic.twitter.com/7BEYc6pS0V
— Henny Hulk (@snapIN2aSLlMJIM) May 25, 2023
We’re not advocating illicit activity (but others are)
Netflix banning password sharing for the poor and struggling generation raised by limewire, Napster, and bearshare is a bold move.
— Amanda🦇 (@BatwoMANDA) May 26, 2023
When NETFLIX updated their password sharing policy#comedy #skit #foryou #Netflix #netflixandchill pic.twitter.com/oPPyN9nCqt
— yerocd8 (@BlitzComet888) June 1, 2023
Netflix starts charging $8 for sharing passwords:
Millennials who grew up on Limewire, Napster and Pirate Bay: pic.twitter.com/glPCC19ObL
— Concealed Carry class: EVERYDAY (@skinny_que) May 25, 2023
That’s it. We’re through.
Later, @netflix! I'm not paying your $8 ransom for password sharing. You could have handled this so much better. It was a fun 10 years, but I'm done. It's not me, it's you.#netflixpassword pic.twitter.com/PRyhgePjxJ
— VAN (@RightHandVAN) May 26, 2023
Netflix trying to end password sharing and therefore losing subscriptions via people cancelling. pic.twitter.com/EWAwtBJS9U
— Dante the Dog’s Poker Buddy (@MrBirdBot) May 26, 2023
Prime Video and Paramount+ are going to sit back and enjoy the spectacle
HBO Max Turning into max
Netflix cracking down on password sharing
Disney Plus and Hulu removing ContentPrime Video and Paramount Plus watching everything go down: pic.twitter.com/d9VGB48F5R
— joe (@Strongambush886) May 23, 2023
Is T-Mobile the next move?
@netflix stops password sharing? No problem! @TMobile got you covered by having it for free!
— Muhammad Omer (@omerblablabla) June 1, 2023
Netflix is ruining the culture
"LoVe Is ShArInG a PaSsWoRd" pic.twitter.com/UkX5jN6dod
— Roberto V. M. (@RVMinasi) June 1, 2023
Netflix just ended an era .. everybody was sharing passwords with everybody 😂😂 it was so clutch
— Markelle Raymond (@Productivekelle) June 1, 2023
You can sit and take it, or you can take action
In protest of Netflix’s password sharing ban, I have been leaving flash drives around the city with the entire Netflix library accessible through an exe file
— alex (@VinDieselStay) June 1, 2023
Pride month is here at last. Corporations are rainbow-ifying their logos as stores roll out their pride collections. The profit-hungry virtue signaling rightfully garners an eye-roll from many in the LGBTQ+ community. Sometimes, this makes it difficult to focus on all the positives that come with Pride month — like celebrating identity and self-acceptance…and some much-needed queer content on the silver screen. So, if you’re looking to head to the movies and watch queer protagonists in the spotlight, we’ve got you covered.
‘The Neighbor’ | Premiere: June 2, 2023The Italian drama The Neighbor will not be a light and breezy viewing experience, and it will likely conjure a couple of tears (if not a bubbling breakdown). But, the love between the two primary protagonists — and their unshakeable bond — is inspiring.
They are pitted against homophobic parents and a local group of men willing to use violence to scare them away. How much emotional and physical abuse can the two withstand? How much parent-child toxicity is too much to endure? Together, they will fight. Together, they will stand tall. Together — even as a harrowing incident threatens to change all they have come to know.
‘Blue Jean’ | Premiere: June 9, 2023England. 1938. Margaret Thatcher is in power, and her conservative-leaning government is readying to pass a law stigmatizing gays and lesbians. Jean is a gym teacher forced to lead a double life — one that safeguards her career by pushing her romantic and personal life into the shadows and behind closed doors. Yet, when a new student arrives and winds up in the same queer space as her teacher, Jean is forced to confront the decisions she has made. Is she a role model or a coward? How can she be a proud teacher— a woman responsible for educating and sculpting young minds — who shows this girl that the way to live as a queer woman is to hide.
The BAFTA-nominated Blue Jean took home the Venice Film Festival’s People’s Choice Award and four British Independent Film Awards. The movie is a tear-jerking rollercoaster, traversing through themes of self-acceptance, chosen family, bullying, societal stigma, sexual discovery, and more with narrative precision and emotional authenticity.
‘Jagged Mind’ | Premiere: June 15, 2023 (Hulu)If you’d rather watch a queer-themed movie from the comfort of your couch, Jagged Mind is a perfect option. The sci-fi drama follows a woman plagued by blackouts and bizarre visions. She comes to realize that she is trapped in a series of time loops, which may or may not be related to her mysterious new girlfriend.
Jagged Mind stars The Originals’ Maisie Richardson-Sellers across from Westworld’s Shannon Woodward in a film directed by Kelley Kai — the genius behind I’m Fine (Thanks for Asking). The film is based on the short feature film First Date, which premiered as part of Hulu’s Bite Size Halloween. This sci-fi-centric sapphic tale is technically part of Hulu’s horror slate, so hopefully you like eerie atmospheric tension and edge-of-your-seat suspense.
‘Sublime’ | Premiere: June 20, 2023 (VOD)16-year-old Manuel and Felipe are best friends. They’re in a garage rock band together, and they’ve been thick as thieves since childhood. Making music together adds a degree of intimacy and intensity to their relationship (especially for Manuel). Their friendship hits a bump in the road when Felipe starts dating a girl, and Manuel has to come to terms with his feelings of jealousy.
Manuel begins dating a girl as well, but his bubbling sexual and romantic attraction to Felipe burns beneath the surface — unaddressed. Manuel retreats into himself, unsure of how to explain his feelings, and unsure of how to be around Felipe comfortably. Eventually, he lashes out. Sublime is both a coming-of-age and coming-out story that highlights sexual discovery in a tender and relatable way for queer adolescents.
‘Every Body’ | Premiere: June 30, 2023The Focus Feature film Every Body brings much-needed and far-too-delayed cinematic representation to the intersex community. The film follows three individuals whose childhoods were marked by nonconsensual surgeries and internalized shame. Yet, today, they are thriving adults who refuse to live in secret. They refuse to hide who they are for the comfort of those too ignorant to love and accept them. As for the three inspiring individuals, we’ve got actor and screenwriter River Gallo, political consultant Alicia Roth, and Ph.D. student Sean Saifa Wall. Today, the three spearhead an international sociopolitical movement advocating for the intersex community and an end to damaging (both psychologically and physically) unnecessary surgeries.
The film works to educate people about the intersex community, the modern medical treatments being forced upon them, and the social stigma surrounding those who do not fit into the binary (and refuse to mar themselves to do so).
Whether on the first date or the one-year anniversary, narcissists eventually exhibit twelve red flags that give away their true nature. More covert manipulators may unmask themselves only after they suspect you’re already invested in the relationship.
Spurned on by leaked deranged sorority emails, in recent years sorority rush season has become a TikTok phenomenon known as #rushtok. Fans of all ages and backgrounds tune in and make celebrities out of aspiring sorority sisters. Even if you’ve never intentionally searched out RushTok, you’ll probably recognize the singsong delivery of outfit details in the “Shoes: Target, Dress: Shein, Jewelry: Kendra Scott” format that is popular among rushing students.
The Bama Rush poster looks interesting AF.‘Bama Rush is the extremely competitive sorority recruitment season at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. The Max documentary Bama Rush (2023) was presented as a juicy deep dive into this viral spectacle. However, the highly anticipated documentary was met with negative reviews by fans and critics, and has a shockingly low 1.6 rating on Letterboxd. So why did everyone hate Bama Rush?
There is plenty of interesting drama that the film could have covered. The rush process is plagued by controversy like those leaked emails, racist official and unofficial Greek practices (in 1986 a cross was burned on the lawn of a Black sorority at Bama), and the extreme cost of Greek life ($4-5k per semester). The problem is, the film chose not to dive into the most interesting aspects of Bama Rush and instead spent a lot of time on director Rachel Fleit’s lifelong struggle with alopecia and her personal fascination with fitting in and sorority culture. While her story is interesting, it’s no Bama Rush.
I can’t think of a worse way to get people interested in your personal health history than bait and switching them with a Bama Rush documentary.Viewers felt like the documentary was a bait and switch. We were promised salacious sorority content and got the director’s personal story instead. One viewer said, “Using Alabama sorority rush as a Trojan horse to talk about your battle with alopecia is easily one of the most bizarre directorial choices in the history of film.” While the film does a great job of humanizing the four young students it featured, it just lacks a voice of reason that critically talks about everything sketchy about Greek life in general and Bama Rush in particular. Another succinct review says “This is a recruitment commercial for Alabama, a therapy session for a filmmaker with alopecia, a TikTok ad. This isn’t a good or interesting documentary.”
One creepy aspect of the documentary was its coverage of “The Machine”, a secret society linked to members of Bama frats and sororities that purportedly controls everything on campus. Director Rachel Fleit allegedly received death threats from the group. Yet it feels like we barely learn anything about this extremely interesting and important topic. At the end of this 100 minute film, none of the most interesting topics in the documentary were covered in any satisfying depth.
Pride is upon us. Grab your rainbow sunglasses, take to the streets, and join in on all the parades and festivities that will go down in June. And, when you get home from a long day of strutting your stuff, turn on Netflix and tune into these binge-worthy queer-themed shows.
‘Heartstopper’ | Premiere: April 22, 2022Boy meets boy in this heartwarming Netflix original that delicately balances pure joy — butterflies and romantic bliss — with moments of tenderness and vulnerability. Nick Nelson is the school’s wonder boy — the popular rugby player with a cool swagger and a side smirk to make you melt. Charlie is an outcast with that classic awkward adorability. Whenever they see each other — sparks.
While Charlie is an out gay male, Nick is not, which lends way to a few hiccups along their journey. Touching on various themes, including self-acceptance, bullying, first love, and coming-of-age, Heartstopper not only fully develops its primary protagonist, but gives the supporting players their moments in the spotlight as well, creating a show that has strong potential for multiple seasons (and maybe even spinoffs).
‘Grace and Frankie’ | Premiere: May 8, 2015Grace and Frankie start this series as utter enemies, forced to withstand one another since their husbands are partners at a law firm. Yet, when they discover that their husbands have been having an affair for the better part of their marriages, they come together — as the only ones who know what this type of betrayal feels like.
While the show primarily focuses on Grace and Frankie — portrayed by long-time besties Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin — the husbands, Sol (Sam Waterston) and Robert (Martin Sheen), also receive a solid amount of screen time. Their love story — serendipitous and sweet — unfolds over the course of seven seasons. It’s rare to see love stories focused on individuals in their third act of life, and Grace and Frankie demonstrate that passion and devotion do not dwindle with age, but rather burn even brighter.
‘Sense8’ | Premiere: June 5, 2015 If you like watching steamy sex scenes, perfectly choreographed to capture intimacy and attraction, Sense8 is right up your alley. Created by Lana and Lily Wachowski (the brilliant minds behind The Matrix), the sci-fi series follows eight strangers — spread out across the globe — joined by a shared violent vision and the ability to connect with one another’s thoughts and actions.
The globe-spanning saga is breathtaking both narratively and cinematically. Featuring multiple queer primary characters — as well as others who seem quite sexually fluid — let’s just say there’s a lot of love to go around (in the bedroom and otherwise). Sense8 explores the power of love and empathy in a world where our surface-level differences receive too much attention.
With an extremely diverse cast of characters, the show sheds light on the customs and cultures of various religions and ethnicities, building themes of cultural exchange and interconnectedness on an international scale. Action-packed, drama-fueled, and all-sexed-up, Sense8 is an ambitious feat in storytelling that Netflix canceled way too soon (due to the hefty budget needed to authentically manifest the Wachowskis’ vision).
‘The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself’ | Premiere: October 28, 2022The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself largely flew under the radar when it first premiered, despite its action-packed flair and insightful foray into queer adolescence. Nathan is caught between two warring clans, as he tries to find his place in the world as the son of a notorious witch responsible for a brutal massacre.
While working to uncover his powers, he also finds himself — alongside two friends (Gabriel and Annalise) who come to see him as more than the child of a masochistic murderer. The polyamorous chemistry between the leads bubbles beneath the surface — sometimes elevating to an uncontrollable boil — making this more than another prototypical YA fantasy with witches, spells, and such. It’s a fun series that doesn’t take itself too seriously, yet greatly benefits from deft dialogue, pointed characterizations, and sexual discovery.
‘Smiley’ | Premiere: December 7, 2022 Smiley may not be the most narratively ambitious series on this list, but it’s possibly the cutest. The Spanish romantic comedy is based on the play of the same name by Guillem Clua and follows Alex, who mistakenly sends an angry voicemail to a stranger named Bruno. The message was intended for his ex, as he was looking for a better explanation as to why they broke up. This accidental exchange places Bruno and Alex in each other’s lives…maybe forever.
Alex and Bruno couldn’t be more different. On the surface, they couldn’t be more wrong for one another, but there’s this passion they both can’t resist — an attraction that their argumentative bickering only further fuels. It’s cute, easy to watch, and even easier to binge. From missed opportunities to other boys getting in the way, Smiley is a series that has you on the edge of your seat, yearning for Alex and Bruno’s love story to come to fruition.
‘AJ and the Queen’ | Premiere: January 10, 2020 AJ and the Queen follows Robert — a down-on-his-luck drag queen who performs as Ruby Red – and AJ — a 10-year-old stowaway in need of some stability in life — as they embark on a cross-country road trip in an RV. With RuPaul in the driver’s seat, the show is filled to the brim with equal parts heart and humor.
The series also takes a significant step forward in terms of representation, shining light onto the artistry inherent to drag performing (and the struggles that come with the job). The show is a much-needed celebration of drag performers and a moving account of self-expression and acceptance. When it comes to unbreakable bonds, fortified in stone with blood, sweat, and tears, the family you choose is the one that matters most.
‘Special’ | Premiere: April 12, 2019Special follows actor-writer Ryan O’Connell in a semi-autobiographical series based on his memoir. Ryan plays Ryan – a gay man with cerebral palsy who decides to ditch his identity as an accident victim and chase after the life he longs for.
The series genuinely portrays what it’s like living with cerebral palsy, bringing various stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding disabilities under a microscope. As a gay male, Ryan must navigate life as someone with multiple marginalized identities, and the show reveals the struggles inherent to his experience via quippy dialogue and introspective conversations.
Rather than taking a pedantic approach or somber tone, the series explores sensitive subjects with lightheartedness, leading viewers to contemplate their own biases alongside their endless chuckles. The series is an empowering tale that makes the most of its short-form format, giving viewers 15-20 minute episodes filled to the brim with both laugh-out-loud scenarios and heartfelt scenes.
Other must-watch LGBTQ-themed Netflix originals First-Kill: vampire meets vampire hunter in this erotic lesbian romance. * Hollywood: Ryan Murphy reimagines post-World War II Hollywood, reinventing history and spotlighting the queer relationships that could have (or may have) been. * Feel Good —* a semi-autobiographical series from comedian Mae Martin, the series is a modern-day account of navigating gender and sexuality.
Hookup culture offered the promise of female sexual liberation, empowerment, and agency, but it may have presented far more risks than benefits. Due to gender inequality, higher health risks for women, the prioritization of male pleasure, and double standards, some aspects of hookup culture may actually be harming women more than freeing them while disproportionately benefiting men. Although both men and women can experience dissatisfaction in hookup culture, many doctors, psychologists, researchers, and therapists note that hookup culture presents unique risks for heterosexual women. Here are the main reasons hookup culture may be more harmful to women than men and what the experts have to say:
Sexual Health, Double Standards, and The Orgasm Gap – Higher Risks for Women with Less BenefitsThe Sexual Health Risks of Hookups Aren’t EqualOne of the major reasons hookup culture remains unequal for men and women is the fact that women overall undertake far more health risks when they engage in a hookup than men, with far less pleasure. Dr. Harold Hong, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and medical director of New Waters Recovery, notes, “There is always risk involved with unprotected sex which could lead to unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if proper precautions are not taken. There are unique risks for men and women when it comes to STIs such as HPV.” Even with the use of contraceptives or protection, there is still a risk of STIs that can be passed on despite condom use and can affect a woman’s fertility or even cause cancer. “HPV can cause cervical cancer in women, which is why the Pap test is important for detecting abnormal cells and early signs of cancer. This is because the virus can be present on skin that the condom does not cover,” says Dr. Hong. “So even if proper precautions are taken, there is still risk for transmission of STIs like HPV. It’s important for people to get screened regularly so any pre-cancerous or precancerous lesions can be caught and treated quickly.” Dr. Hong notes that while men can also contract certain cancers from HPV, they tend to be less likely than women to develop serious health problems due to anatomical differences.
Dr. Neil Nedley, MD, a board-certified physician specializing in internal medicine explains, “HPV can occur even when all precautions are taken, and HPV is much more likely to cause severe life-threatening conditions in a woman than in a man. Men also get HPV, which can be associated with cancer of the penis, but is far less likely to occur than cancer of the cervix in women.” Unfortunately, this unequal risk is not eliminated by vaccination or disclosure. Research indicates a gender disparity in both the testing and prevention of STIs like cancer-causing strains of HPV.
The HPV vaccine only protects against some of these high-risk strains, as there are at least a dozen types that increase the risk of cancer. Men are not routinely screened for HPV, which makes them silent but deadly carriers of high-risk strains that can cause cervical cancer in women. They may not know they have HPV at all, so they usually cannot inform their hookup partners if they have it or not – the burden of disclosure and heightened risk is thus often unfairly placed upon women alone.
Apart from HPV, there are also other STIs that can harm women in life-threatening ways, especially in a hookup culture where unprotected sex is common. “Women also are more prone to undiagnosed gonorrhea, which can cause scar tissue in the fallopian tubes, increasing the risk of ectopic pregnancy and rupture of the tube,” says Dr. Nedley. “This can cause extreme pain and the need for emergency surgery to prevent death. Women are also more likely to obtain HIV during hookups than the other way around (a man getting it from a woman), although that can also occur.” There is also a difference in the rates at which men and women may undergo STI testing in general. Women are also more likely to be tested for certain STIs rather than men according to studies, which puts their health at unequal risk any time they have sex with a man who is not as conscientious about getting tested.
Physical Safety and Double StandardsWomen also risk sexual coercion or assault, stealthing (removal of a condom without consent during sex), violence, and retaliation, especially in the form of revenge porn with less possibility for accountability if their hookup partner is a stranger rather than an acquaintance. These concerns regarding physical safety are not equal for men and women in hookup culture. As licensed clinical psychologist and therapist Miriam Koshy, MSc, MPhil, notes, “Due to the inherent physical vulnerabilities associated with casual sexual encounters, women may have heightened concerns about their personal safety.” As a result, Koshy says, “Women are more likely to prioritize safety precautions, such as meeting in public places, informing friends about their whereabouts, or relying on trusted social networks for potential partners. Men, on the other hand, may feel less vulnerable and may be less likely to prioritize these safety measures.”
Another risk is how men and women are still viewed differently in hookup culture and are not treated as equals. “Men tend to view hookup culture more positively than women,” says Joni Ogle, LCSW, a certified sex addiction therapist with over twenty-five years of clinical experience. “Some often perceive it as a chance to explore their sexuality without the responsibility of leading it to a real relationship. On the other hand, some women view hookup culture in a more negative light because they feel like they are being objectified or used for sexual pleasure only.” Research indicates that women who participate in hookup culture are often subjected to double standards and may be vulnerable to slander, gossip, and rumors designed to unfairly shame them and their sexual activities, even as their male partners are praised.
Hookups Have Fewer Benefits and Less Pleasure for WomenUnfortunately, generally speaking, the purported pleasures or benefits of hookup culture are unlikely to outweigh or compensate for these risks for women.Sociologist Dr. Elizabeth Armstrong and her colleagues sought to answer some pressing questions about the nature of hookup culture and situationships. Their studies revealed that hookup culture and situationships for women in a patriarchal society are saturated with inequality and dissatisfaction. While traditional monogamous relationships also present their own problems to women, hookups, and situationships don’t generally appear to provide a healthier alternative.
In one of their studies on hookup culture using data from a sample of 13,484 women, Armstrong and colleagues found that women tended to have orgasms more often in relationships rather than hookups, partly due to the double standards present in hookup culture where male pleasure is prioritized and expected, but not a woman’s. In relationships, a woman’s pleasure was more likely to be given attention. In a hookup, there is much less guarantee that your sexual partner will care about your pleasure as much as you care about his.
This discrepancy in whose pleasure is prioritized in hookups is inevitably gendered. Licensed psychologist Dr. Linda Baggett, PhD, notes, “Women are socialized to be people-pleasers and to put others first, including prioritizing the sexual pleasure of others. Men are socialized to feel entitled to sexual pleasure and to deprioritize women’s needs and pleasure.” Baggett says that while this can also be present in same-sex hookups, in opposite-sex hookups, these dynamics tend to reinforce each other. “As a result, I often see women consenting to activities that they don’t actually feel great about or being afraid to really take up space as an equal, and men are less likely to create an environment that supports women doing this. The result is women often have hookups that do not feel physically or emotionally healthy or satisfying.”
One way to set healthy boundaries in hookup culture is to honor your own needs and check in with your own comfort, Baggett advises. “Listen to your gut and honor your needs, whether that’s asking for more foreplay, insisting on using protection, or saying no to activities and encounters that you don’t like or that don’t feel right to you.”
These inequalities can be present in more traditional monogamous relationships as well, although to a lesser extent. In heterosexual romantic relationships, the orgasm gap still exists – with 95% of heterosexual men saying they almost always had an orgasm during sex versus only 66% of heterosexual women saying they did in a 2016 national study of 52,588 adults. Among women who do orgasm during sex, they also tended to be more satisfied with their relationship outside of the bedroom. This lets us know that whether in hookups or relationships, the orgasm gap and gender inequality need to be addressed. We know from other research that relationships are still affected by gender inequality as well in terms of the division of domestic labor and emotional labor.
It should be emphasized that most of the risks and inequalities mentioned so far still exist in more traditional and monogamous relationships too, albeit in a different way and some to a lesser extent. Yet these risks are often minimized in a way that makes hookup culture appear “equal” and completely safe for both men and women in a way that defies reality. However, it appears hookups aren’t doing anything to alleviate that inequality and may actually be providing even fewer benefits to women while disproportionately catering to and prioritizing male pleasure. Every situation is different, but it can be helpful for women to develop a healthy skepticism about the risks they undertake when it comes to hookups and think about whether the benefits really outweigh the costs when it comes to their casual sex partners on a case-by-case basis.
Emotional Trauma is Still a Risk If You’re Pressured To ParticipateWomen may also experience more emotional distress from hookups and situationships especially if they find themselves feeling pressured into hookups if what they really want is a relationship or dating. For example, some studies show women can experience more depressive symptoms related to hookups than men do and may expect sex to evolve into a relationship. Women can also experience significantly more regret than men after casual sex. Other studies suggest that for both men and women, casual sex was related to psychological distress such as depression and anxiety. Study participants also reported lower levels of self-esteem, life satisfaction, and happiness than those who had not engaged in casual sex recently. In a dating culture where misrepresentation of one’s true self is common, some women may also find themselves being manipulated by a narcissistic partner who insidiously violates their boundaries by pretending to want something more when their only agenda is sex. Or they may be manipulated by a toxic, exploitative partner who causes them to invest in a more long-term “situationship” only for the relationship to be shrouded in ambivalence and a lack of accountability.
Therapists note that, generally, hookup culture appears to have a different effect on women than on men. Clinical psychologist Dr. Holly Schiff, PsyD, asserts, “In my experience as a therapist, I have found that hookup culture generally does have a different impact for men versus women. Clinically, I have seen that women experience more negative psychological consequences than men. After engaging in hookup culture, women usually feel more lonely, rejected, and unhappy. Usually, they are also worried about being judged by others for their behavior. Men on the other hand usually feel more sexually satisfied, confident and happier.”
Therapist Sarah Rollins, LMSW also says, “Taking into account that gender is fluid, I have noticed significant differences in regards to the impact of hookup culture for men and women. Generally speaking, women tend to become more anxiously attached to men during a hookup situation, even if it was made clear at the beginning that a relationship was not on the table.”
A proponent of hookup culture may argue that women who don’t like hookup culture can just simply not participate in it. While that may be true, male sexual entitlement is solidified by the fast-paced instant gratification now offered on dating apps. Research indicates that women on dating apps can still be subjected to various forms of sexual offending regardless of what they’re looking for – everything from unsolicited crude pictures to the promise of “dates” which later turn out to be excuses to violate boundaries. It has become normalized to fast-forward physical intimacy in a way that it hasn’t been normalized before. This makes it difficult for people to avoid the potential dangers of hookup culture even if they aren’t active participants.
“When navigating hookup culture, the one piece of advice I would give to women is for them to be honest with themselves about what they want,” says Schiff. “The hookup culture requires some form of emotional detachment, and if you know you are incapable of that, then it is probably healthiest for you to not engage in it. In order to survive today’s hookup culture, know what you are getting yourself into, and be emotionally prepared.”
Rollins advises, “Above all else, listen to your body. In navigating hook up culture, what is going to guide you best is not your intellect, brain, or education. Rather, it is your gut. Your gut sense will tell you when to approach or leave a situation. Your gut sense will guide you towards safety. When you ignore the hints your body gives you, you are no longer having an embodied and therefore conscientious experience.”
With more men expecting hookups and more women treating it like the new normal, women who don’t wish to participate in hookups can still feel the pressure of these new dating expectations. On the other end of the spectrum of dangerous “purity culture” lies the shaming of women who are deemed sexually repressed or frigid if they are unwilling to participate in these social norms. As a result, some women may feel subconsciously pressured into experimenting, or they may even be sexually coerced and still face the dangers of hookup culture even if they don’t wish to participate. And when they do participate, there can be unforeseen consequences. Some psychologists have even suggested that since studies show women can be more sensitive to the bonding effects of oxytocin than men, this may make women more susceptible to getting attached and bonded to their sexual partners than men do. The question of whether men or women get more attached after sex remains up for debate, but generally speaking, hookups can be emotionally distressing for even those who seek out casual sex but find themselves having more serious feelings for their sexual partners.
The Big PictureIt’s wonderful that women have more sexual agency and freedom in the modern dating world – what’s not wonderful are the double standards, unmitigated risks, and dangers that still come with exercising that freedom. If we actually want to liberate women, we have to work toward building a world where it’s safe for them to exercise their options and choices in the first place. We must work toward closing the gender gap when it comes to sexual health and pleasure, holding sexual predators accountable, reducing double standards, and ensuring that men also are doing their part in reducing risks and protecting the sexual and emotional health of their partners. We must also prioritize a woman’s pleasure and safety instead of simply catering to men. Instead of a culture of instant gratification and a laissez-faire attitude toward casual sex where men disproportionately benefit, we must build a world based on the principles of mutual respect and pleasure, safety, and consent.
The series finale of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel dropped on Prime Video on May 26, 2023, bidding farewell to the funny lady we’ve been in love since the series premiered in 2017. Viewers couldn’t resist Rachel Brosnahan’s infectious energy and the chemistry between her and Susie (Alex Borstein). As the show takes its final bow, fans have taken to Twitter to express how much they will miss tuning in to Mrs. Maisel.
She belongs among TV’s greatest characters
From how she’s dressed to how she talks and carries herself, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s series finale cemented Rachel Brosnahan’s Midge as an iconic TV character in my eyes. Up there with Bryan Cranston’s Walter White, Emilia Clarke’s Daenerys Targaryen, etc. What a great run! pic.twitter.com/JSrsbReamC
— Edgar Ortega (@edgorteg) May 26, 2023
We’ll all need a little time to recover
Just finished The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel… pic.twitter.com/lOO0fOvp0m
— Rina (@rinarodrina) May 26, 2023
The marvelous mrs Maisel ending wasn’t enough … wth I needed more pic.twitter.com/WoFjExGg4f
— ᴍᴏ (@starsbIeedin) May 26, 2023
finished the marvelous mrs maisel pic.twitter.com/6ViF3hQlWc
— ver🌸nica (@imverycynical) May 26, 2023
This show has always been about the bond between Midge and Susan
Let's be real, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was a love story between Midge and Susan. That's how you end a series, ladies and gentlemen.
— Tia Fabi #SaveAmericanGods (@TC_Stark) May 26, 2023
She will be missed, but never forgotten
the magnificent, the magical, the marvelous mrs. maisel WE WILL MISS YOU pic.twitter.com/k44J8qrwYz
— zeynep hira (@hiraleaks) May 26, 2023
I have loved The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel so deeply, so madly, for 6 glorious years. Thank You and Goodnight, @MaiselTV. I will love you until the very end of time pic.twitter.com/xOn6KT97Xc
— katy (taylor’s version) 🪩 (@cecilyskeen) May 26, 2023
She has finally received the title she’s always deserved
hearing midge finally be called “the marvelous mrs. maisel” pic.twitter.com/eSe5gHRs1r
— gigi ♡ (@thevolkvolny) May 26, 2023
… The magnificent, the magical, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 👏👏👏👏👏 🥲 pic.twitter.com/ruqPl1W5dU
— Mr. Robot (@Mr_R030t) May 26, 2023
When Gordon said Marvelous Mrs Maisel pic.twitter.com/2adRjzuIqT
— 🌾 (@daysmillcr) May 26, 2023
We just wish it wasn’t Gordon who called her that…
gordon being the one to say the marvelous mrs maisel…… pic.twitter.com/vRtLayGZ8I
— CLOSED (@P0RTERSZ) May 26, 2023
Nothing beats a perfect needle drop
I can't believe The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is over — but what a satisfying (and emotional) finale! Those four minutes had me in tears.
And Barbra Streisand’s “I Stayed Too Long At the Fair” was perfect.
You’ll be missed, Midge! pic.twitter.com/NA9c7RDpc6
— Jerry (@firerobin) May 26, 2023
The writers knew how to end this series
I just finished watching the series finale of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel". It was a bravura finish to one of the greatest series in TV history, with a finish that was funny, uplifting and bitter sweet. pic.twitter.com/i2D3jXd758
— Dave Perkin (@fiveplustools) May 26, 2023
BRAVO to “THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL” on a MAGNIFICENT SERIES FINALE! After 5 amazing seasons on @PrimeVideo , they really stuck the landing with a poignant, emotional & very satisfying conclusion! It really could not have been better! Can’t wait to start again from the beginning! pic.twitter.com/ByIq5QE5zn
— Scott Mantz 🖖 (@MovieMantz) May 26, 2023
Thank you, and good night.
When it comes to a villain anthem, Disney remains quite unparalleled. From a clever orangutan to a cunning lion and a grandiose Sea Witch, the villains often boast the most memorable numbers in Disney movie musicals. A little bit of snark. Maybe an air of superiority. A light-hearted delivery undercut with malicious intent. Let’s break down the top five Disney villain songs in the mega-media conglomerate’s history.
5. “I Wanna Be Like You” | ‘The Jungle Book’ This number may not fit perfectly into the Disney villain box, but King Louie the Orangutan has nefarious intentions with “Man’s Red Fire,” so it counts. Though King Louie is a supporting antagonist, the song’s jazzy swing style and upbeat tempo give Louis a loveable flair and infectious energy. You can’t help but tap your feet and fall under his spell.
Rather than going for a malicious delivery, “I Wanna Be Like You” hides Louie’s desire for power underneath a comedic pretense. The song is a fusion of Jazz and Swing — two genres popular when the 1967 film premiered. Its playful nature earns a merit of distinction, as most villain songs in the Disney realm are lyrically and musically a bit more wicked.
4. ‘”Gaston” | ‘Beauty and the Beast’Gaston is a self-obsessed and arrogant man who — rather than sing his own villain song — receives a rousing number sung by his faithful right-hand LeFou and the local villagers. He’s much too toxically masculine to serenade audiences with more than a few moments of muscle flexing and boasting about his intimidating stature.
The song perfectly characterizes the villain’s egotistical nature, while using satire to poke fun at the bumbling baddie’s self-importance. The exaggerated praise, Gaston’s belief that he deserves the world because he’s conventionally attractive, and the contrast between what viewers at home and the townspeople know about the character all work to mock the brute. Satirical deliveries aren’t exactly common when it comes to villain numbers, making Gaston a risky sing-songy foray into the unknown that paid off for Disney. It’s now one of the most well-known and celebrated Disney numbers.
3. “Mother Knows Best” | ‘Tangled’Donna Murphy voicing Mother Gothel in Tangled is undoubtedly one of the best casting decisions Disney has ever made. She vocally captures the character’s psychologically manipulative tactics, turning a maternal figure (one who is designed to protect) into a villain here to deceive.
On the surface, the song is filled with advice and guidance, yet the lyrics mask Mother Gothel’s desire to keep her daughter isolated — barred from the great wide world. Her dramatics are just so juicy — the displays of exhaustion at the idea of the “big bad” outside, the little uptick her voice takes to hint that a question is rhetorical, popping out from dark corners to insinuate the unexpected horrors Rapunzel would face beyond the tower. It’s a genius approach.
She scares her daughter into believing that she shouldn’t yearn for what she doesn’t know. Rather than using sheer force, Mother Gothel exploits the trust inherent to parent-child dynamics, making this song resonate with viewers whose parents should have taken a course or two in psychology before raising children.
2. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” | ‘The Little Mermaid’ Oh, Ursula, the Queen of the Sea. Who wants to be a princess longing for a man when you can be a witch with immense power at your fingertips? The way you sashay around your lair in a dress with a back so low it directs attention straight to your curvaceous hips. You own your territory — unafraid to take up space — your sheer existence is a blow to the patriarchy. You sing this number with moxie and pizazz. You draw viewers into your web of deceit, scheming your way to your goal without a moment’s hesitation. It’s genius.
“Poor Unfortunate Souls” may be a villain anthem, but the character, over the last few decades, has become a cultural icon and a source of inspiration. One of the only full-figured villains in Disney lore, she is proof that one need not be frail to strike fear. One need not be a size zero to zero in on her prey with perfect precision. Pat Carroll’s reverberating vocals and often-guttural line delivery turn Ursula into a femme fatale. She isn’t dainty or proper like Mother Gothel, for why should she be? Why be prim when you can be powerful?
1. “Be Prepared” | ‘The Lion King’ Before venturing into the classic that is “Be Prepared,” choosing between “Poor Unfortunate Souls” and Scar’s anthem was no easy feat (and they’re virtual equals). Nonetheless, “Be Prepared” has snagged the top slot, in large part due to Scar’s irresistible flamboyance, cunning intellect, and overall condescending air of superiority. These qualities make for the perfect villain — one who must use brains over brawn to conquer those who dare to stand in his way.
Scar’s “meticulous planning” is brought to the forefront via Tim Rice’s genius lyricism, which works to underscore the villain’s superior intellect and cunning nature. Unlike other Disney villain songs, which follow a typical verse-chorus format, this number is more of a spoken-word narrative with rhythmic delivery. He lays out his plan right before the execution with a sinister tone (thanks to Jeremy Irons on vocals) — one that alternates between a soft and sultry delivery for lines like “it’s clear from your vacant expression, the lights are not all on upstairs” to a harsher intimidating tone for lines like “even you can’t be caught unawares.”
The song is also the most visually memorable and culturally resonant, drawing inspiration from Nazi propaganda, as the hyenas are seen marching in a manner eerily reminiscent of fascist dictatorial regimes. It’s easily one of Disney’s most memorable cinematic moments (visually and auditorily), and it’s the villain anthem to beat.
Greta Gerwig’s highly-anticipated film Barbie premieres in theaters on July 21, 2023. However, as new images become available — as well as hype-building snippets of information via a recently-released trailer — fans can’t contain their excitement. Many are expecting Barbie to be the best film of the year. So, here’s what’s going on in Barbie World.
Barbie will compete with the greats. Look out ‘Citizen Kane,’ here comes ‘Barbie’
MOVIE OF THE YEAR MOVIE OF THE DECADE MOVIE OF THE CENTURY MOVIE OF THE MILLENNIUM pic.twitter.com/m5EoF6Ibe5
— cait atreides (@timcqthe) May 25, 2023
Nicki Minaj has arrived…
they swore nicki wasn’t going to be on the Barbie soundtrack just for her to not ONLY be on it but also sample their favorite Barbie song 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/wKi13RokhB
— welp. (@YSLONIKA) May 25, 2023
The kids in the Barbie movie theater when Nicki’s song plays and she’s talking abt her pretty face, pussi clatts, and opps pic.twitter.com/oAHLJQS7m2
— ☈ (@abelcarti) May 25, 2023
“Movie of the Year”
best movie of the year incoming #Barbie pic.twitter.com/iUSxTxHt7n
— bethany (@fiImgal) May 25, 2023
oh this is it this is the movie of the year https://t.co/G6oIeJNDaK
— abbey (@Iouisavontrapp) May 24, 2023
barbie is already movie of the year pic.twitter.com/MSAHbhrfCo https://t.co/VUt7xRPgyR
— . (@happierdam) May 25, 2023
Her heels touch the ground… and it is the end of life as we know it
MOVIE OF THE YEAR #BarbieMovie pic.twitter.com/i5NGJ8BMsI
— mikayla’s COZY (@spideykayla) May 25, 2023
I GASPED#BarbieMovie pic.twitter.com/86suKuZ7ln
— Estefanía 🎬📚 (@Nia_mov) May 25, 2023
Ariana and Barbie got beef
The reason Ariana isn’t featured on the Barbie Movie Soundtrack. pic.twitter.com/oQMoiaibls
— Bad Idea (@ThnkVNext) May 25, 2023
Margot Robbie is simply perfection
LOOK AT HER #BarbieMovie pic.twitter.com/hPYpMkfnmb
— best of margot robbie (@margotposts) May 25, 2023
Is ‘Barbie’ throwing shade at Bratz dolls?
Me over-analyzing everything: Was this Bratz shade? #BarbieMovie pic.twitter.com/A0gcfyr8l5
— Lookin’ Bratz (@LookinBratz) May 25, 2023
We will do whatever it takes to be first in line to see this movie
me after shoving a child out of the way so that i’m first in line for the barbie movie pic.twitter.com/cu4kCKHeSP
— ava | 2 (@eversincekyotos) May 25, 2023
The costume designer deserves some recognition (we see you, Jacqueline Durran)
I cant wait to see all the costumes in the Barbie movie because I am already obsessed with the looks in the trailers pic.twitter.com/UtBVUwGjzS
— Eboni🤍 (@VersaceVenus_) May 25, 2023
We are all now nothing more than ‘Barbie’ enthusiasts
me if making the barbie movie my whole personality was illegal pic.twitter.com/3OsUywwwOB
— lucy ford 🍊 (@lucyj_ford) May 25, 2023
I do not apologize for the person I become when the Barbie movie comes out pic.twitter.com/tK4iJyiPMP
— schuyler ✨ 8 days (@munsonsbread) May 25, 2023
So “come on Barbie, Let’s go party.” We can’t wait any longer!
The Apple TV+ original series Platonic follows Sylvia (Rose Byrne) and Will (Seth Rogen) — long-lost besties who rekindle their friendship after Will’s divorce. A little nudge from Sylvia’s husband leads her to reach out to Will to lend an ear (or a shoulder to cry on). Because Sylvia never liked Will’s wife, which was the catalyst for their rift, there’s also a bit of a juicy “I told you so” subtext bubbling beneath the selfless surface.
The series — perfectly balancing humor and heart — showcases a guy-girl dynamic that is not one ounce sexual, making for a unique and compelling narrative in a sex-crazed age of television. Yet, the guy-girl setup is merely a fraction of the show’s bold foundation. When it comes to depicting best friends — those who can be apart for years yet retain an unshakeable bond — the writers (Nicholas Stoller and Francesca Delbanco) nail it.
Sylvia and Will instantly become the devil-may-care duo of your glory days. Their friendship — no matter how much tension may need resolving — oozes out of the screen, permeating your living room to create that same effervescence you feel when your college pals come knocking on your door. But why? How does the show — within mere minutes — manifest such (sexless) intimacy?
Controversial opinion: the deepest of friendships boast a little hostilityAside from the unparalleled chemistry between Byrne and Rogen, what has this series done to drive this platonic pair right through your heart? It’s the hostility. It’s the instances of animosity. The little bit of aggravation that festers between the two. There is an understood (yet never verbally communicated) safety that exists in the dynamic. And, it is this very knowledge that allows them to speak openly — to call out the other’s nonsense with fervor. And, then, instantly return to baseline to grab a burger and french fries.
A moment in episode one indicates exactly what viewers need to know about this pair going into the rest of the series. Niceties do not drive this dynamic. They are not cuddly confidantes. They are combative ones.
Rose Byrne and Seth Rogen laughing in ‘Platonic’ | Apple TV+In episode one, Will and Sylvia rekindle their friendship, only to end the night cursing each other out and flipping each other off as Sylvia gets in an Uber. However, earlier in the night, Sylvia confessed to Will that sex with her husband takes too long — a whole “half hour.” And, well, Will takes the opportunity to share a little secret that may assist in speeding the process along. He tells her about a time that he was with a woman who punched him in the lower back (right near the kidneys) during the intimate act, and he “came instantaneously.”
So, later that night, Sylvia takes it upon herself to give the move a go. It doesn’t work. Yet, despite the huge argument she and Will had mere moments ago, she must text him, “That punch did not work, asshole.” Will then expresses his surprise that she gave it a shot, considering he made the whole thing up. The conversation then comedically forays into Sylvia letting Will know that he will pay for his transgression. From utter aggravation and disdain to lighthearted comedic banter within moments.
‘Platonic’ Stars Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne | Apple TV+This very instant lays the foundation for Platonic, and in the very next episode, viewers see that Sylvia has changed Will’s contact name to “asshole.” This is not only comedic gold via seamless callback but also friendship-fortifying. She may have him in her phone as “asshole,” but she still picks up when he calls! She loves him like a brother, and just like siblings, these two fight with reckless abandon. They call each other names that many would deem unforgivable. And, like siblings, no apologies are necessary. They simply move on.
How the guy-girl dynamic benefits the combative friendship between Will and Sylvia The guy-girl dynamic only augments the hostile-besties storytelling approach, as there is a slight “battle of the sexes” throughline beneath the pair’s disagreements. Will even asserts, when arguing with Sylvia about their falling out, it’s different with girls who don’t like your wife (as opposed to guys who may not). She calls him out on this, as she should. Why is it different? Friends are friends. This is a sexist viewpoint — one that lacks a factual basis yet continues to thrive under social orthodoxy alone. Come on. It’s 2023.
In the end, via a comedic friendship, the show posits that men and women are not all that different. We have merely been programmed to believe we are. Men and women may be prone to disagree, prone to see conflicts from polar perspectives, and prone to handle situations via different methods, but whether this is indoctrination or instinct is the question.
Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne in ‘Platonic’ | Apple TV+Via the disagreements between Sylvia and Will — and the way they stand toe-to-toe with one another (as equals with no sexual chemistry) — Platonic succeeds in its mission to convince viewers that yes, unlike in When Harry Met Sally, guys and girls can be just friends. And it doesn’t look all that different from girl-girl and guy-guy pairs. There may be more disagreements, more misunderstandings, and a little bit more mind-numbing aggravation, as life is not the same for the straight white male and his female counterpart. They don’t walk the same earth.
New episodes of Platonic premiere Wednesday on AppleTV+.
The Apple TV+ original series Platonic premiered on May 24, 2023, and the series currently boasts an impressive 100% critics’ score on Rotten Tomatoes. The show follows former best friends — Sylvia (Rose Byrne) and Will (Seth Rogen) — who reconnect following a long rift. Sylvia and Will’s wife did not get along, but following Will’s divorce, Sylvia reaches out thanks to a little nudge from her husband (who will inevitably come to regret this decision).
The pair were thick as thieves in their heyday but are now approaching midlife, and the renewed friendship destabilizes both of their lives. (But maybe a little chaos is precisely what they both need?) Can this girl-guy pair make a friendship work when society says such is impossible — and when they keep blowing up any semblance of stability in each other’s lives?
The show is not afraid to highlight small disasters, amplifying them for comedic gold, as the chemistry between Byrne and Rogen keeps the show endlessly funny. Yet, they shine in the dramatic moments too, as viewers become quickly immersed in their history and renewed dynamic. They feel like old pals from your glory days. Yet, what inspired the show? Is it based on a true story?
Platonic draws inspiration from an event in the writers’ livesPlatonic is not explicitly based on a true story but rather draws inspiration from an event in Nicholas Stoller and Francesca Delbanco’s past. Stoller and Delbanco share writing credits on the show, but they are also a married couple who once attended a joint bachelor-bachelorette party in Las Vegas. And, well, that wife and husband-to-be celebration provided the foundation for Platonic.
Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne ride scooters in ‘Platonic’ | Apple TV+As The Cinemaholic notes, Deblanco was a friend of the groom, but, when the groups split up to go their separate ways, she had to follow the bride-to-be. The women stuck with the women, and the men stuck with the men (typical). Delbanco told The New York Times:
“I went with her, but I was there not because I had known her — I was there because I was a friend of his…I remember thinking, ‘Why does it have to be that way?’”
The moment clearly stuck with Delbanco leading to a laugh-out-loud show starring two of the funniest actors currently in the biz. Rogen and Byrne previously worked together in Neighbors, portraying a husband and wife, so their chemistry was a surefire bet when it came to casting.
Rose Byrne and Seth Rogen talk about ‘Platonic,’ highlighting the show’s fun and unique nature During an inside look with Apple TV+, Byrne and Rogen talked about their new 10-episode series, highlighting how much fun it was to work together again.
Rogen noted, “It’s so rare that there’s that kind of dynamic” on screen between a man and a woman. He went on to share that “there’s no will-they-wont-they” subtext in the series, as is often the case in similar shows. Byrne added, “Nothing between the sheets.”
Rose Byrne and Seth Rogen laughing in ‘Platonic’ | Apple TV+Byrne and Rogen are evidently friends in real life, and their platonic real-life dynamic transfers seamlessly to the small screen. Rogen joked, “It was easy to kill any sexual tension between us.”
The “fundamental bedrock” of their characters’ relationship, as Rogen refers to it, is that they are great friends — no more, no less. And, their relationship is a refreshing change of pace in a television landscape quite obsessed with sex and romance at the moment.
Episodes of Platonic drop every Wednesday on Apple TV+.
HBO Max has officially launched its rebranded streaming platform — Max, which includes select Discovery+ content on top of its library of Warner Bros. Films, DC Universe movies, the Harry Potter franchise, and more. Yet, the launch didn’t go off without a hiccup or two, as users experienced login problems and various technical difficulties. Twitter quickly became a hub to complain about and chastise the platform’s sloppy transition (as well as the overall choice to rebrand to such nondescriptive nomenclature).
Some users refuse to accept the change
Its mama named it HBO Max, I’ma call it HBO Max. pic.twitter.com/JipoDBimS8
— Cojo (@CortneyJohnelle) May 23, 2023
I still call it "ABC Family." I'm calling it "HBO Max" forever.
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) May 23, 2023
If there’s work involved, I’m out
Wait a second you have to manually DOWNLOAD a whole different APP to transition from HBOMax to MAX??? pic.twitter.com/gUcE9W16MD
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) May 23, 2023
I've got to download a whole 'nother app to go from HBO Max to just Max?? Ya'll just can't flip a switch?? pic.twitter.com/oq6ru99X43
— Gerri Kellman's Personal Reputation Manager (@ForgeCarter) May 23, 2023
“HBO Max won’t update, you have to download a new app for Max”
Me: pic.twitter.com/tcDSd7jcJa
— Sopranos World (@SopranosWorld) May 24, 2023
Tech problems right out of the gate
well… they killed HBOMax and the new app doesn’t even let you sign in 😭 what a joke pic.twitter.com/aHJ883lWmT
— Eljohn Macaranas (@EljohnMacaranas) May 23, 2023
Imagine if other brands made such a foolish choice…
In honor of HBO Max rebranding to Max, I made these designs for other brands pic.twitter.com/H6RYQB61MZ
— Eric Zhu (@ericzhu105) May 23, 2023
Peacock got in on the joke
I know you’re all very disappointed, but I will not be dropping the first half of my name any time soon 👀
— Peacock (@peacock) May 23, 2023
Dictionary.com took a page out of Peacock’s playbook
Yes, HBO Max is dropping "HBO" from their name, and no, we are not dropping "tionary" from our name.
— Dictionary.com (@Dictionarycom) May 23, 2023
And so did the State of New York
Inspired by HBO MAX rebranding to MAX, we’ll now be known as STATE pic.twitter.com/FRh05MZ4ha
— State of New York (@NYGov) May 23, 2023
You can’t erase tangible evidence
when are they coming to change the hbomax button on my remote control to just max pic.twitter.com/GKGRtBBBY4
— e (@disasterp1ants) May 23, 2023
Max still needs to let people know it’s HBO
You can tell MAX was a good branding move, because they've had to keep HBO in the app's name to let people know what the heck it is.
I would humbly suggest "HBO Max" is cleaner branding than "Max: Stream HBO, TV, & Movies" pic.twitter.com/AamLSMXeqN
— Jonathan Lack (@JonathanLack) May 23, 2023
We’ll never forget you, HBO Max
HBOMAX: bigger than the whole sky pic.twitter.com/Y5oTNhEFi9
— hailey 🐝💜 (@nobodynoswift) May 23, 2023
While Max is now home to more streaming options, much of the Discovery+ content does not align with the content HBO has been celebrated for across decades. Thus, the combination doesn’t quite seem like a brand match. Not to mention, the name ‘Max’ is utterly senseless, and the need to download a new app is a hassle (that seems like it should have been avoidable). So, here’s to head honchos making decisions that annoy their primary demographic.
Adult children of narcissistic parents had one or more parents who lacked empathy, exhibited an excessive sense of entitlement, and callously exploited their children. As a result, it’s common for children of narcissists to engage in the following five contradictory behaviors in adulthood:
1. Needing a great deal of alone time yet surrounding yourself with toxic people to fill the void. The reason adult children of narcissists or even just those who had many adverse childhood experiences might require more alone time in adulthood is because they were deprived of their choices and agency in childhood. They were parentified as children, which meant that they were forced to take on adult roles and responsibilities before they were ready. That is why you may savor your alone time at what appears to be an extreme level to outsiders yet is completely understandable given what you’ve been through. Additional time and space are often needed to recuperate from the traumas of childhood to experience the innocence and peace of a childhood you never got to experience. Simultaneously, adult children of narcissists were not provided a validating and safe environment to nurture their development. Their emotional needs were not met, and they can struggle with a chronic sense of emptiness as a result. This means that even though they relish their alone time on a heightened level, adult children of narcissists can still be vulnerable to surrounding themselves with toxic people to fill that void – such as unempathetic friends, relatives, partners, and colleagues who resemble their narcissistic parents. This can happen early on in young adulthood before they’ve begun to look more closely at their patterns and can lead to re-traumatization. After experiencing this re-traumatization, it becomes even more vital to use your alone time to heal.
2. Being hyper-independent and searching for a rescuer at the same time. As the child of a narcissist, you most likely grew up relying on yourself and fulfilling your own emotional needs because one or more of your caretakers lacked the emotional maturity to do so adequately. As an adult, this self-reliance and hyper-independence may have served you in many ways in your success or areas where having a sense of independence is beneficial and required – while detracting from your ability to ask for help. You may take charge in many aspects of your life. However, many adult children of narcissists and those have experienced complex trauma also tend to “search for a rescuer” throughout their lives – usually a romantic partner. On a subconscious level, they may seek out someone who will finally take care of them in the way they deserved to be taken care of as children but never were. This can make them susceptible to toxic people who are looking to exploit their vulnerabilities if their “knight in shining armor” is actually a covert wolf in sheep’s clothing.
3. Subconsciously recreating your childhood in an unknowing effort to resolve it, even while trying to actively avoid people like your narcissistic parents. You may feel unwittingly “stuck” in relationships with narcissistic and psychopathic people because your nervous system is accustomed to chaos. When children grow up in unsafe, chaotic environments, their nervous system is uniquely affected in ways that can affect them throughout their adulthood. You may feel biochemically accustomed to chaos and desensitized to cruelty and trauma in ways that other people who did not have adverse childhood experiences did not. As a result, you might find yourself stuck in a trauma repetition cycle with friends or partners who resemble your caretakers in childhood. For example, a daughter with a narcissistic father may feel especially trapped in relationships with angry male partners because it taps into her core childhood wounds. A son with a narcissistic mother may find himself exploited by vindictive narcissistic women. This can be due to the way their nervous system is conditioned and as a part of a subconscious effort to “resolve” the original trauma – a hope that this time, the story ends differently with the adult child of a narcissist being loved and seen for who they are.
It should be noted that anyone can be the victim of a narcissist or psychopath, regardless of their childhood trauma history. However, adult children of narcissists can find it more difficult to extricate themselves from these types of relationships because the trauma bonds that form with narcissists in adulthood can be strengthened by the pre-existing trauma bonds children of narcissists often develop with their parents in an effort to survive. If you “fawned” and people-pleased to survive an abusive childhood, you will likely need to heal this fawning response in adulthood.
4. Having a perfectionistic streak and a need for control – yet losing control over your sense of self and safety in the world.Adult children of narcissists as well as children of controlling parents in general develop an interesting relationship with control and perfectionism. They become conditioned to fear losing control because they’ve been controlled since birth. Their parents have constantly moved the goal posts to ensure that they always tried to strive for approval that they would be unlikely to obtain. As a result, many adult children of narcissists can develop perfectionistic tendencies and self-doubt, becoming impressive overachievers who may also suffer from a sense of Imposter Syndrome because of the bullying they endured. They might fear becoming “too visible” lest someone attack them since they usually have experienced the pathological envy and bullying of a toxic parent. They may need a sense of control over their environment in order to feel truly “safe.”
As a result, they might avoid opportunities where they could potentially lose control – whether that be work opportunities, opportunities to showcase themselves and their talents, or safe friendships and relationships that require a bit more vulnerability and intimacy. This lack of control can feel overwhelming to their nervous system which associates being visible with being degraded and punished. However, the solution is not about indiscriminately trusting people or getting exhausted by taking on every opportunity that comes your way – you cannot know who is truly emotionally safe or not until you’ve observed their long-term patterns, and not every opportunity will benefit you if the risks outweigh the rewards. The key is in establishing internal safety through emotional regulation and healing your traumas so you can enforce healthier boundaries in adulthood – while still taking advantage of the opportunities you feel genuinely good about taking on.
5. Depriving themselves and not feeling deserving of good things, even though your narcissistic parents expected you to be the best.As a child, you were emotionally neglected and mistreated. You were not taught to expect basic respect or kindness from others – in fact, you were conditioned to expect punishment just for existing or exhibiting joy and healthy pride. Yet you were also expected to be the best in everything you did to bring pride to your family. You may have developed a “self-deprivation” mindset as a result, feeling like you were not good enough to ask for better treatment or experiences even when you went above and beyond your narcissistic parent’s expectations of you. As an adult, it can be helpful to establish an abundance mindset instead. Think of all the positive experiences you were deprived of in childhood as an “inheritance” that you should have received but never got. As an adult, you owe it to your inner child and adult self to give yourself all those positive and fulfilling experiences life has to offer. Re-parent yourself and recondition yourself to expect good things. Don’t feel like you have to “earn” good experiences like you did in childhood. Engage in “safe play” in adulthood to regain the sense of innocence you should have had. You deserved safety and peace. You are more than worthy of all the happiness and abundance life has to offer. You were always enough and deserving.
If you are the adult child of a narcissistic parent or have had a relationship with a narcissistic partner, you are not alone, and help is out there. You deserve support in processing your traumas and might find it helpful to process these traumas with a mental health professional.
’90s kids, ’00s teens, and the MTV generation rejoice! We have two bits of good news for you. The long forgotten cartoon that spawned a banger episode every week is now on Max (formerly known as HBO Max.) Of course, we’re talking about irreverent and silly Clone High. But–even bigger news–Max also has a brand new season of the show. That’s right, Clone High is getting new episodes 20 years after the original series ended. The first two episodes just released May 23, 2023 with two more episodes released weekly every Thursday.
The best things in life are worth waiting for.
The new-ish series #CloneHigh is now streaming on Max. #StreamOnMax pic.twitter.com/SLwsa4a6XY
— Max (@StreamOnMax) May 23, 2023
Running from 2002 to 2003 for one season in America (or two seasons if you were lucky enough to watch it on Teletoon in Canada), this show is a hilarious look at what it would be like to have teenaged clones of famous people in history all attending high school together. It might sound like an odd premise, but with voice acting from comedic greats like Will Forte and Donald Faison and cameos from Jack Black and Mandy Moore, you can bet the original series was a cult classic for a good reason.
Touchstone TelevisionThe O.G. Clone High follows main characters Abe Lincoln, JFK, Gandhi, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc (who has a total and understandable crush on Abe, by the way) and other teen clones as they navigate classic modern high school problems, like football-playing giraffes and pushers trying to get the school addicted to raisins. It’s absurd in all the best ways.
MaxNo spoilers or anything (okay, minor spoilers), but the teens of Clone High end up getting frozen at the end of the original first season. Max’s new original series starts where that one left off. Now they’re freshly thawed 20 years later and must navigate the even more modern world.
Here’s my recommendation: Watch the original season of Clone High first, then watch the new series. You can find both on Max.
While there’ve only been two episodes of the new series of Clone High, it remains to be seen whether it’ll live up to the clever parodies of history that made the original series so special. But will I, as a major Clone High stan, be excited to watch it all anyway? Yes, I will.
It seems like yesterday that the live-action version of The Lion King defiled Scar, reducing his villainous anthem to a two-minute somewhat-rhythmic monologue. The song went from a rallying of the hyenas and a laid-out plan for a mutiny to an uninspired condemnation of Mufasa. Scar’s cunning and devious nature was replaced in favor of what? Mere anger and jealousy? His words seemed no longer “a matter of pride.”
The live-action Scar also lacked the superiority complex, condescending air of pretension, and flamboyant swagger inherent to the legacy of his animated counterpart. However, that’s a topic for another time, as we’re here to focus on lyrical alterations, not delivery. The lyric changes matched the new Scar’s darker persona and were likely penned to fit “modern sensibilities,” as is the argument concerning the changes to “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” Yet, the question is: do these lyrics benefit the song and the character, or reduce the Sea Witch to a pale imitation of her predecessor? That depends on perspective.
Breaking down the lyrical changes to “Poor Unfortunate Souls”The original lyrics to “Poor Unfortunate Souls” contained a verse that is inherently misogynistic (more on this to come), as Ursula explains to Ariel why she won’t need a voice to snag her man. She sings:
“The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land, it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man”
In the new song, the verse is replaced with a line of dialogue. Ursula says:
“Fine then. Forget about the world above. Go back home to daddy and never leave again.”
The lyrical alterations focus on Ariel’s desire to see the world above, as opposed to reducing her earthly longings to a yearning for one man. Yet, it’s important to remember Ursula’s intentions when considering these lyrics, as well as her status as a villain turned cultural icon.
On the surface, the new lyrics to “Poor Unfortunate Souls” seem to dampen Ursula’s villainy Lyricist and Composer Alan Menken explained to Vanity Fair why the lyrics were adjusted, stating:
“We have some revisions in ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’ regarding lines that might make young girls somehow feel that they shouldn’t speak out of turn, even though Ursula is clearly manipulating Ariel to give up her voice.”
In his explanation, Menken arguably contradicts himself, noting that Ursula is “clearly manipulating Ariel” and, thus, her words should not be interpreted as fact, but rather as finesse. Ursula is bargaining with a youthful girl she knows she can outwit. Naivete reigns supreme during adolescence, as do innocent crushes, and using this as a deception tactic merely highlights Ursula’s nefarious mind — augmenting her villain status. To Ursula, Prince Eric is no more than a pawn to be played in her game.
Ariel (L) and Ursula in ‘The Little Mermaid’ | DisneySome will argue that the demographic at play is not mature enough to understand this and will, nonetheless, internalize the misogyny. Yet, while children may not piece together all the complexity, kids are pretty good at drawing one conclusion: “Villains are bad. Don’t listen to them.” Not to mention, much of this film’s viewing audience will be individuals who were kids when the animated version premiered. They’re now well into their 30s (at least). So, could something else be at play?
Ursula has become a source of inspiration over the years, and that changes the game (at least a little bit) Disney undoubtedly knows that Ursula — who in 1989 was no more than a villain — has become a beloved character (to some, even a hero). Ursula is one of Disney’s only full-bodied villains who claims her space and sashays across her lair with pride. She’s smart and sexy.
Ursula performing “Poor Unfortunate Souls” in ‘The Little Mermaid’ | DisneyShe doesn’t quiet herself so as to not draw attention, nor does she aim to take up less space while allowing the patriarchy to spread its legs far and wide. (Her actions directly contradict the misogynistic messaging she employs in “Poor Unfortunate Souls,” further highlighting the verse as exploitative not explanatory). She may be the narrative’s villain, but to so many, she is the indomitable queen to Ariel’s snappable princess.
The generations that first witnessed the Drag Queen-inspired showstopper sing “Poor Unfortunate Souls” has gone on to celebrate the character. There’s even a popular slam poem about the Sea Witch that further humanizes Ursula and underscores just how much she means to fans:
In short, is it possible that the generation that loves Ursula will now be taking their kids to this film — the children they have shared their adoration for Ursula with? With parents on board (at least to some extent) with the film’s antagonist, the possibility of kids internalizing the Sea Witch’s misogynistic messaging increases. Even if just a little.
It may be a bit of a stretch, but Ursula has undoubtedly taken on a positive cultural presence that she did not possess upon her origin. If she’s going to be a villain narratively, yet an inspiration to young girls culturally, maybe it’s wise to ditch the line and avoid the complex dichotomy of the situation altogether.
That being said, the new version deletes one of the most entertaining verses in the song, and it’s a loss on a musical and lyrical front. Ursula shaking her hips as she uses a guttural voice to sing the words “body language” will be a real loss.
Succession is no stranger to Emmy wins and nominations. The hit HBO Max series chronicling the ruthless Roy family — as they all vie for control of the mega media conglomerate founded by their father — has snagged 48 nominations and 13 wins since it first premiered in 2018.
Following Kieran Culkin’s performance from someone emotionally detached to a child struggling with sorrow in Season 4, Episode 9 titled “Church and State,” viewers agree that Culkin will be the next one to secure the coveted prize. Fans have taken to Twitter to praise the actor’s portrayal of grief.
Spoiler warning for Season 4, Episode 9 of Succession
1. Roman’s grief is all too palpable
DON'T YOU EVER MAKE ME SEE KIERAN CULKIN CRYING AGAIN. MY HEART 😭😭 #SuccessionHBO #Succession pic.twitter.com/Pdw9ITuNOU
— 🐉Erica⁵⁵🏎 | Roman Roy Era (@fcbformulaEri) May 22, 2023
I didn’t think he could surpass the scene with Mattson from Ep 5, but my God, Kieran Culkin was magnificent. One of the best television performances of the year. #Succession pic.twitter.com/NXKySK1KVC
— Brandon Lewis (@blewis1103) May 22, 2023
That episode was a pressure cooker of cynical, nihilist dread and perfectly encapsulates the ease of dereliction of duty when greed is on the table. Everyone was on fire tonight: Jeremy Strong and Sarah Snook broke me, and Kieran Culkin chilled me to the bone. #Succession pic.twitter.com/DNDUOremGS
— Brandon Lewis (@blewis1103) May 15, 2023
“Is he in there? Can we get him out???” Kieran Culkin is ACTING-acting.#Succession pic.twitter.com/JtS5BUL5aq
— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) May 22, 2023
kieran culkin’s performance is so devastatingly beautiful #succession pic.twitter.com/Z7L51ogx4j
— ivy (mourning succession) (@ohhhhherewego) May 22, 2023
2. Culkin is coming for the Emmy
romans funeral speech is gonna win kieran culkin that emmy i know it #Succession pic.twitter.com/QwQ0EoN9fz
— chloe (@thenightwindovv) May 20, 2023
roman saying ‘is he in there? get him out’ in the voice of a small child BROKE ME. give kieran culkin that emmy immediately !!!!!! #succession pic.twitter.com/Sx5FHtMTuL
— shauna (@wednesdaysadums) May 22, 2023
“is he in there?” Roman’s grief finally showing… Kieran Culkin we will get you that Emmy too, my god this moment #succession pic.twitter.com/Vz5AuOptDl
— Nora Dominick (@noradominick) May 22, 2023
Me if Kieran Culkin doesn’t win that Emmy #succession pic.twitter.com/aU6zqyjt8p
— BLACK LIVES MATTER (@willowhalliwell) May 22, 2023
Well I said Roman would shatter and it would bring the Roys together or tear them apart. Of course, it ended up being both bc Jesse Armstrong is elite. Jeremy Strong was riveting in that speech, but Kieran Culkin clinched his Emmy tonight. A stunning performance. #Succession pic.twitter.com/i51clvZW3J
— Brandon Lewis (@blewis1103) May 22, 2023
OH KIERAN CULKIN THAT EMMY IS ALREADY WITH YOUR NAME #Succession pic.twitter.com/KKVve1uTWG
— kendall roy 1# public enemy (@SUFJANSTUVENS) May 22, 2023
"Is he in there?"
"Can we get him out?"
The exact moment Kieran Culkin won the Emmy. #Succession pic.twitter.com/aIPksQr8gO
— Avery Thompson (@avery__thompson) May 22, 2023
Kieran Culkin is giving such a strong performance in season four of Succession that IndieWire predicts he will join co-stars Jeremy Strong and Brian Cox in the 2023 Emmy Race for Best Actor in a Drama Series. Yet, according to fans of the former child star, he has already secured the statuette. That funeral moment — when he finally breaks down, as his facade of impermeability crumbles (after prepping and prepping — with notecards at the ready) will be impossible to top. The Emmys aren’t until September, so until then, fingers crossed for Kieran.
It’s been long said that narcissists love creating love triangles and provoking jealousy in their partners – thousands of partners of narcissistic and psychopathic individuals have shared their experiences on this phenomenon. There is also now a wealth of research that supports and documents this behavior in narcissistic individuals and points to the surprising motives behind what is called “jealousy induction” in the research literature. In my 2022 study conducted at Harvard University and published in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences, I found significant positive correlations between both narcissistic (including both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism) and psychopathic partner traits and the use of manipulation tactics such as jealousy induction, particularly for grandiose narcissism and psychopathy. Other research demonstrates why narcissists and psychopaths engage in this type of behavior. The findings of these studies indicate that overall, narcissistic and psychopathic partners can provoke jealousy as a strategic strategy to gain power and control over their partners.
Why Do Narcissists and Psychopaths Provoke Jealousy on Purpose?Why would a narcissist or psychopath provoke jealousy on purpose? According to research, it can depend on the “subtype” of their particular “brand” of pathology.
It seems that according to the specific subtype of narcissism or psychopathy at play, jealousy induction can be used moreso as an offensive, antagonizing, unprovoked strategy to gain power and control over a partner – and in other cases, it can also be used as a defensive, reactive strategy meant to compensate for low self-esteem or gain self-esteem, retaliate as a form of revenge due to one’s own jealousy or test and secure the relationship.
Researchers Tortoriello and colleagues (2017) investigated whether people with grandiose and vulnerable traits engaged in strategic jealousy induction. In their study, they discovered that grandiose narcissists (who are entitled, seek admiration and superiority) provoked jealousy in their partners for the purposes of power and control, while more vulnerable narcissists (who are more hypersensitive and neurotic) induced jealousy to gain power and control as well as exact revenge on the partner, test and strengthen the relationship, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem.
Those with psychopathic traits also engage in jealousy induction. In a 2017 research study by Massar and colleagues, 347 individuals (both men and women) filled out measures on psychopathy, jealousy, and jealousy induction. This study found that people who exhibited the traits of primary psychopathy (the subtype of psychopathy that is associated with grandiosity and low anxiety and is said to be “born” rather than made by their environment) tended to deliberately provoke jealousy to gain control over their partners and to “exact revenge” (for example, in cases where they felt jealous themselves).
Similar to vulnerable narcissists in the other study by Tortoriello and colleagues, those who had the traits of secondary psychopathy (associated moreso with criminal behaviors and impulsivity and thought to be shaped by the environment) also induced jealousy to gain power and control, but also did so to test the relationship and gain self-esteem.
Psychopaths Get Jealous, Too
Interestingly, both primary and secondary psychopathy was associated with experiencing emotional jealousy (jealousy in response to a perceived threat), while secondary psychopathy was associated with both emotional and suspicious jealousy (jealousy that is pre-emptive and centered around concerns of infidelity as well as “checking” behaviors such as going through their partner’s belongings or text messages).This reveals that although psychopathic partners may repeatedly provoke jealousy in you, it’s likely they are also experiencing jealousy and suspicions themselves when it comes to their partners.
What Does Jealousy Induction Look Like? Jealousy induction can take many forms. Narcissistic and psychopathic partners may engage in explicit or implicit comparisons designed to get their partners to compete for their attention or work harder for their approval. They may mention past or current love interests or hint at their own deception or affairs, presenting “rivals” in hopes that their partner demonstrates insecurity or evidence of heightened interest in the narcissist as a result. Technology has also made it possible for jealousy induction to occur rampantly in the digital landscape, as narcissists and psychopaths can now provoke their partners on social media.
How Do You Heal from Jealousy Induction?Healing from repeated patterns of jealousy induction is not easy. Narcissists and psychopaths may have trained you to constantly compete and compare, causing you to lose a sense of your unique qualities and irreplaceability throughout the relationship. On the healing journey, it is first important to recognize the motives for why these individuals engage in such manipulative behaviors. If your partner had more grandiose narcissistic traits, they may have wanted power over you. If your partner was fit the bill of psychopathy, they may have even wanted revenge for feeling jealous and possessive themselves due to the romantic attention and interest you received from others, even if it was through no “fault” of your own. If they had more vulnerable narcissistic traits, they may have been insecure and looking for validation as well as a sense of power and control. They may have wanted to alleviate feelings of inadequacy and “test” your love for them. Either way, recognizing that their malicious, calculated behavior (or esteem-seeking, reactive behavior) was not your fault is important to validating yourself and resisting gaslighting and blameshifting.
In addition, it is vital that you get support in processing your traumas, preferably with a mental health professional. For example, specialized trauma therapies such as Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) may help you to process such triggering events while bypassing the typical heightened amygdala response that causes emotional overwhelm. Therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy can teach you powerful mindfulness and emotional regulation tools for when you are triggered. These can help ground you in a sense of safety as you unlearn the destructive conditioning and triggers that have been instilled in you about your sense of worth.
Reconnecting with your uniqueness is also important. You may want to write down all the positive qualities and traits that you have and that others notice in you as a reminder of the sense of self that was diminished throughout the toxic relationship. If you have experienced jealousy induction or an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist, you are not alone, and help is out there. Remember that you were always “enough” and that no one who is worthy of you would ever make you compete for their attention.
There’s a saying that goes, you can never recycle wasted time, and oh how true that is.
No one intends to get into a dead-end relationship. Most of us want that real, true, long-lasting love and our quest for it can sometimes lead us to stay in situations that are the opposite of what we want.
Why does it happen? Well, we get so caught up in the potential of what could be, rather than looking at what is.
You’re dating this guy and he just checks so many boxes. And you rarely experience this kind of chemistry so you would be foolish to let it slip away! Sure, he doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you, but maybe with just a little encouragement, you’ll be able to get him there.
Maybe once he sees how amazing you are … maybe if you can help him get over the ex who broke his heart … maybe if you can just wait it out a little longer … then he’ll step up and be who you want him to be.
I’ve deluded myself in this way many times and I’ve seen many others do it as well so I can tell you: this never turns out well!
Don’t let yourself be lured by what could be, look at the situation as it is right here, right now, and then decide what you’d like to do. To help you get there, these are the biggest signs you’re wasting your time with him and he isn’t going to commit to you.
Signs He’s Not Going To Commit1. He tells you he doesn’t want to be in a relationshipI’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it many times more: if a guy says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, believe him!
The reasons don’t matter, the facts do. Most likely he means he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. It’s also possible he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now. Maybe he wants to focus on his career, maybe he’s not emotionally ready to settle down, maybe he likes being single and free, it really doesn’t matter.
He may have some really great reasons, but again, it doesn’t change things. He probably also does have feelings for you. Again, it doesn’t change anything if he doesn’t want to be with you.
- He’s wishy-washyOne day he’s super into you, the next he’s cold and distant. You guys are attached at the hip one week, and then he disappears for days or weeks at a time.
Sometimes he seems like he’s in love with you, other times you feel like a nuisance to him. So what’s going on?
Wishy-washy behavior, or sending “mixed signals” is usually a sign of uncertainty. He’s just unsure of you.
He likes you, he’s attracted to you, he has fun with you, but he’s just not sure if he wants to be in a relationship with you.
- He is still active on dating appsHe might be sneaky about this and tell you he deactivated his account … and you believe him until one of your friends comes across him while swiping …
Maybe he makes excuses and tells you, “Well, I never log in so what’s the big deal?”
Or maybe he’s honest with you and says yeah, he still uses his account because you guys aren’t official so he isn’t doing anything wrong.
Either way, if he’s active on dating apps it’s a sign that he hasn’t quite found what he’s looking for.
- He openly flirts with other women in front of youA lot of the times we say how we feel through actions more than words, this is especially true of men.
A man might not come out and tell you: “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you,” but he’ll show you he’s not serious through his actions. One way to get the point across loud and clear is to flirt with other women in front of you.
Now you might make the mistake of thinking he’s just trying to make you jealous because he likes you so much (at least, that’s a mistake, or rather a self-imposed delusion, that I’ve made in the past!) but what’s more likely is he’s showing and affirming that he is a free man who can do as he pleases.
- He talks about the future … and you’re not in itHe might talk about how he wants to go live in Europe for a few years, or he wants to move away and change jobs or get out of the city and live a suburban life.
That’s all well and good, but he doesn’t seem to be factoring you into any of these plans, he doesn’t even ask for your opinion on city versus suburbs, he just tells you this is his plan and doesn’t really seem to care if you’re there for this imagined future or not.
- The relationship is stagnantYou’ve been in the same spot for months or years. You’re not growing closer in any way, or he refuses to take the next step, whether it’s to be an “official” couple, to move in together, to get engaged, set a date, and so forth.
You just have no idea where this is going and when you try to talk to him about it he deflects or gives you vague answers.
- He doesn’t share his true self with youWhen a man is truly invested in a woman, he will share his true self with her. He will allow her to really see him, to see the man beneath the mask.
If your conversations are all surface level and he doesn’t really open up or show vulnerability, then he might not be truly invested in you.
At the same time, don’t mistake a guy who is all feelings and emotions and vulnerability with a guy who is serious about you. This can also sometimes be a sign of a guy wasting your time because this guy is a mess and just looking for a crutch to lean on while he gets himself together.
- You just know this isn’t how it’s supposed to beYou know that this isn’t what true love is supposed to feel like. You know something is off, you just don’t want to admit it because you don’t want to have to leave and start all over again with someone new. You’re already in this so you try to just make it work and figure it out even if that means wasting more of your precious time!
Inaccurate Signs He’s Wasting Your TimeDon’t ruin something good by overthinking his behavior. Here are some inaccurate signs that he’s “wasting your time” and what they really mean.
1. He’s taking space
Sometimes men need space, it’s how they deal with stress and emotional turmoil. If your guy is backing away a bit and not as attentive, it doesn’t mean he’s wasting your time. He’s most likely dealing with something and he wants to work it through on his own so he can come back into the relationship better than ever.
2. He texts less often
At the beginning of a relationship, you’re on a high. You can’t stop thinking about the other person and want to talk to them all day every day. And in the beginning, you may engage in these marathon chat sessions. But this isn’t sustainable long term. People have jobs and school and lives! You can’t just be pinging back and forth all day long.
As things get more settled, he may not text as voraciously but that’s a good thing. First, it’s too much to do that all day! Next, it means he is settling back into a more normal rhythm because he’s getting more comfortable with you.
3. He says he can’t commit right now but….
… he plans on committing to you and he gives you a concrete timeline. Or he explains to you that he wants to wait until he’s more established at his job or until the busy season is over, and he means it. He doesn’t just keep coming up with one excuse after the next. And not only that- he follows through. He doesn’t leave you in no man’s land. You know he’s committed to you. He doesn’t just tell you, he shows you (remember: men communicate through actions more than words).
What to Do If He’s Wasting Your TimeSo you’ve read our roundup and have deduced that he is wasting your time and you’re in a dead-end relationship. What now?
Do you pull away and try to make him chase you? If he doesn’t reply to your text for an hour should you wait three hours before responding to him?
No and no. If a guy is wasting your time there is only one thing to do: leave.
That’s it. Don’t wait around. Don’t try to prove your worth. Don’t pretend to be something you think he wants.
Look, if you walk away and he lets you go, then at least you know it was never going to work out. Men don’t just let women they love walk away without a fight.
And if you leave and he comes after you, and not only that, he actually steps up and takes some next step, then great! You have a chance.
Just beware of guys who come after you and then don’t change and fall back into the same pattern. If he begs for you back and you give him another chance … but then he comes up with a whole new slew of excuses about why he can’t commit, then let it go for real. As they say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
How to Never Waste Time AgainThe antidote here is to have high self-worth. It’s to know what you want and know that you deserve to have it. If you want a commitment, don’t settle for the scraps some guy is willing to throw your way.
And don’t tell yourself that you should hold onto this because you’ll never find better. Or that this is better than being alone.
Being alone might be lonely at times, but being in the wrong relationship can be damaging – which would you choose?
You can get the love you want, you just need to be clear on what it is that you want and stop wasting time on what you don’t want.
While we all know some men are only interested in hooking up, it’s not always as clear which men those are!
Some guys are super upfront about what they want. Others either accidentally or purposefully send mixed messages. Regardless of how he goes about expressing it, some guys are just not ready for a relationship.
It could be that he’s not in the right stage of life for a commitment. Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough to jump into a relationship. We know this is easier said than done, but don’t take that personally! It happens to everyone.
If you suspect your current crush isn’t feeling a relationship, pay attention to that doubt. Considering how easy it is to fall into the trap of self-deception, we have to be vigilant. Be honest with yourself before you end up wasting time on the wrong guy.
12 Signs He Just Wants To Hook UpTo help you avoid that exact scenario, here are the top twelve signs he only wants to hook up:
- He’s wishy-washy with youHaven’t we all experienced the guy who’s hot and cold? One day everything’s going great. He texts you frequently, checks in on how your day is going and makes you feel like a priority. But the next day, all you get is a half-hearted text at 10pm. If a guy is all over the place, that’s a red flag.
When a guy is really into you, he’s dependable. He doesn’t wait until he’s run out of other things to do before replying to your text. You’ll have at least an approximate idea of how long it will take to hear from him again. Instead of acting unpredictably, he’ll be clear and consistent.
If he’s only showing interest sporadically, it probably means he just enjoys hooking up.
- He’s more into your looks than anything elseAs flattering as it is when a guy compliments your appearance, pay close attention to what other kinds of admiration he offers you. Does he also commend your personality, work ethic, or accomplishments? On that topic, does he even ask about those other aspects of your life?
Since everyone appreciates being seen by another person, it’s easy to be distracted by the physical. As women, we typically work hard on our appearances and enjoy when a man recognizes that. Appearance-driven conversations and compliments can quickly lead to an imitation of real intimacy. Deep down, though, you know that kind of talk is just surface level.
So ask yourself: Does he really see me beyond just my physical appearance?
- He doesn’t take you on actual datesHave your last few “dates” consisted of a lot of Netflix and chill? If all your activities reside on a couch or a bed, take note. It’s not just a sign that he’s bad at planning dates, it means he’s not even pretending to put the effort in.
Driving over to your house, or simply asking you to come over, shows zero initiative. When a guy wants to impress you, he’ll come up with ideas of fun things to do together. Even men who are not terribly creative will ask their friends or the Internet for ideas.
Sure, sometimes a night-in can be romantic and entertaining. But if all you have are nights in, then it’s a sign that you’re in a situationship rather than a real one.
- He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship right nowSome of you are raising a skeptical eyebrow at this one. Although it seems obvious, it still needs to be said. For some reason, many women hear this statement and translate it into an entirely new one!
“I don’t want a relationship right now,” is not code for “I’m just waiting for the perfect woman to change my mind.” It also doesn’t mean that he’ll be ready next week or next month.
Instead of plotting how you’ll become the incredible woman that changes him, take his words at face value. Do you really want to have to convince a guy you’re worth a relationship? You deserve better than that, and he deserves to be taken at his word. When he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him.
- He doesn’t try to get to know youNext time you’re talking to him, observe the tone and direction of the conversation. What kinds of questions does he ask you? When you answer him, does he follow up to understand more clearly or just move on to another topic?
When you’re falling for someone, every detail about them is like discovering gold. You want to know when their birthday is, how they like their coffee, and what their relationship with their mother is like. Meanwhile, when you’re only here for a hookup, those more intimate details never really come up … and you don’t pay much attention when they do.
Another key factor to watch for here is when the conversation turns sexual. Does he constantly find every opportunity to bring it back to sex? There’s nothing wrong with a flirty chat, but a guy who’s serious about you will respect you enough to discuss the deeper topics, too.
- He doesn’t introduce you to his peopleKeeping you isolated from his normal circle of loved ones is a major red flag. Even if he’s only the type to visit family on special occasions, if a guy is serious about you he’ll make an effort to introduce you to them when he gets a chance. If he avoids this, there’s a reason.
In addition to the family introductions, who are his friends? What people make up his social circle? A man who sees a future for the two of you will definitely want you to meet his people. Besides wanting to see how you all get along, he’ll probably want to ask his close friends what they think.
It’s pretty endearing how a guy wants to show off the woman in his life to his loved ones. When he purposefully keeps you away from his circle, that likely means he only sees a short and casual relationship.
- He’s still active on dating appsIt’s not an absolute rule that a guy should delete his dating apps after only a couple of dates with someone. There’s definitely some wiggle room here. But if you’ve seen each other a handful of times and he’s expressing interest in continuing, it’s worth a conversation.
All of that aside, the point here is whether he’s still active on the apps. Some guys will take the deceptive route and tell you they deleted the apps even if they haven’t. Others will be upfront about the truth that they are still looking around.
Whether or not he’s honest about the apps, if he’s still swiping, he’s not serious about you. If he views you as a casual fling, he’ll have no qualms about entertaining other prospects.
- He openly flirts with other womenOuch, this one stings to witness. Whether he winks at your waitress, acts a little too friendly with one of your friends, or openly hits on someone, all of this behavior is a massive warning sign.
As painful as it is to watch your crush hit on another woman, try to see it as the gift that it is. If he’s comfortable flirting with her in front of you, he’s telling you (in no uncertain terms) he’s not committed. Now that you have that information, you can move on.
By the way, flirting online counts, too. Strangely, some guys claim leaving a coy comment on a woman’s Instagram picture is innocent. It’s not. If he’s directing amorous energy to another woman, online or not, he’s definitely not devoted to your relationship.
- He doesn’t share his true self with youIs everything you know about him readily available to the public on his social media? Does he withdraw when you press him for more insight?
One of the most exciting parts of a new relationship is the discovery process. Once you trust someone enough to reveal the insider info, you’ve taken a big step forward. Depending on the guy, this vulnerability can be difficult. If he opens up and shares things with you he doesn’t just give out to anyone, that shows sweet confidence in you.
On the other hand, if he’s tight-lipped about what makes him unique, he probably isn’t interested in anything long term. If he doesn’t want to share about how he became the person he is today, that’s strong evidence that he doesn’t want to dig deeper with you.
- He’s only available when he wants to hook upAn easy way to assess a man’s interest is to note both when he reaches out and what his intention is each time. Do you only hear him from late at night? If so, that’s clear-cut behavior. When you’re only on his mind as he’s getting ready to hop into bed every day, that’s a giveaway.
When you invite him to spend time with you, does he always have an excuse ready? Maybe he says he’s slammed at work or has too much on his plate right now. Everyone has hectic days, but if he’s always “too busy,” it means he’s not prioritizing you.
- He’s selfishIt’s natural for the effort between two people in a relationship to fluctuate. Sometimes one person needs the other more, and vice versa. In a genuine relationship, both people will take turns taking the supportive stance needed.
However, in a casual relationship without long-term goals, a man will likely be more selfish. Rather than do kind things for you, he’ll expect you to make a bigger effort. He’ll ask you to come to him and request things without giving back in return.
These are just hints of emotional immaturity. It doesn’t mean he’s a “bad” guy, it just shows that he isn’t in the right frame of mind to commit. He’s more preoccupied with his own needs than on what he can offer in a partnership.
- You feel it in your gutIf you’ve got that quiet feeling in your stomach that won’t go away, listen to your intuition. That little tingle of doubt is there to guide you. When you’re really into a guy, this can be tricky. You want to believe that the signs aren’t there and that your hesitation is unwarranted. By ignoring that feeling, you set yourself up for heartache.
When a man sees you as relationship material, he’ll make sure you know it. He’ll be attentive, reliable, and engaging. You won’t be left staring at your phone, wondering if he will contact you. When you hang out, you won’t be on guard trying to figure out if he’s only interested in making physical moves.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with a man who doesn’t want a relationship. But you deserve to know if that’s the situation. If you’re crushing on a guy and can’t figure out his intentions, run through these signs with an objective perspective. Once you analyze all these factors honestly, you’ll have your answer. As always, if you’re still in doubt, go with your gut!
In summary…Telltale signs he only wants to hook up:
- He’s wishy-washy with you
- He’s more into your looks than anything else
- He doesn’t take you on actual dates
- He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship right now
- He doesn’t try to get to know you
- Doesn’t introduce you to his people
- He’s still active on dating apps
- Openly flirts with other women
- He doesn’t share his true self with you
- He’s only available when he wants to hook up
- He’s selfish
- You feel it in your gut
It’s hard to admit when a guy isn’t serious about you, especially when you really like him. Usually, you’ll feel it in your gut but you’ll avoid facing it. When you’re hopeful about things it’s just easier to make excuses for his behavior and focus on any shred of evidence that he likes you enough to take it to the next level.
The thing is, he can like you but not want to be in a serious relationship with you. This is why so many women get confused. Just because he wants to spend time with you … he keeps asking you out … he stays in touch and sends you sweet texts every day … this doesn’t mean he’s serious about you. These things mean he’s into you, but they don’t necessarily mean he sees a long-term future with you.
The only way you can tell if he’s serious or not is to be objective when it comes to your love life. This is a tough skill to learn, but it’s very important and can save you from endless heartache.
Being objective means being a bit removed from the situation, mentally and emotionally. You have to be able to think about the real relationship that’s right there in front of you, not the fantasy relationship you’re hoping for. This means not getting overly invested in a guy before he’s totally invested in you.
Part of being objective is paying attention to the signs that he’s not serious about you. Don’t constantly be on the lookout for them—that creates a negative mindset—just be aware of what they are and know that if you see them it’s a red flag because it means he’s not serious about you.
Signs He’s Not Serious About You1. You’re not a priority to himYou get bumped for work or friends or family … there always seems to be something more important than you. When you’re not a priority and he’s not serious about you, he’s not going to feel too bad about keeping you at the bottom of the list.
If you suggest getting together for something specific and he says he has to wait to see what’s going on with a friend who’s not getting back to him, that’s a bad sign. When he does this it shows that you’re not a priority, you’re an option.
A man who’s serious about you will make you a priority. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll always come first, because that’s an unreasonable expectation. But you will be in the top spot most of the time, barring something really important that needs his attention.
- He doesn’t want to know your “story”When we like someone, we want to know their story from front to back, every scar, every triumph, every tragedy. We can’t get enough and want to know it all. If he looks away when you tell him your stories or seems uninterested, like he’s waiting for you to finish, it’s a bad sign.
When a man likes you, he likes learning about you. He’ll ask questions and remember the things you’ve told him. If he’s seriously interested in you, he’ll be interested in a possible future with you, so naturally, he’ll want to know all about you. After all, he’ll want to know exactly what’s in store!
- He bails on you frequentlyThings come up sometimes, it happens. But how often is it happening?
If he cancels your plans a lot, it shows that he isn’t concerned with your feelings and he isn’t worried about messing things up and losing you.
A man who’s serious about you will not only want to spend time with you (so he won’t cancel, to begin with) he’ll treat you with respect. That means he won’t waste your time by agreeing to spend it with you, then bailing.
A guy who’s serious about you isn’t going to cancel on you when something “better” comes up, and even if he’s busy with work he’ll be sure to make time for you, or at the very least let you know he’s thinking about you. If he has to cancel on you for some reason, he’ll feel really bad about it, apologize, and try to reschedule right away.
- He doesn’t open up to youIf he doesn’t let you into his inner world and share himself with you—especially his hopes and dreams and ambitions—then you’re basically like everyone else in his life except that you have a physical relationship.
When a guy cares about a woman, he will open up to her and show his true self. This means more than being intimate to a guy.
If you feel like you’re always trying to drag answers out of him about his past, his family and friends, his day-to-day life, all to no avail, then he’s not serious. If he gives you jokey vague answers when you try to learn his story, or changes the subject, it’s his way of keeping things casual.
When a guy is serious about you, he’ll not only want to hear your story, he’ll want to share his.
- He doesn’t make future plans with you/avoids talking about the futureIf he rarely talks about the future in general, or doesn’t even make plans for the future with you, he’s letting you know he doesn’t see one with you.
This isn’t just for the distant future, it’s for the near future as well.
If he’s always booking dates last minute, it means he doesn’t see you as a priority, doesn’t need to protect his time with you, and basically sees the relationship as a day-by-day thing and can end it at any time.
If on the other hand, he’s buying tickets for things months down the line or planning vacations with you, it usually means he’s not planning on going anywhere.
- He doesn’t want to make it “official”This is a major area that trips women up. A man says he doesn’t want to be in an official relationship, but she hangs around hoping he’ll change his mind.
This is very simple: when a guy says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, believe him. If he doesn’t want to be official, it means he’s okay walking away and okay with another man sweeping you off your feet.
Maybe he gives you just enough hope to hang onto—he likes you somewhat after all, enough to spend time with you. But he doesn’t like you enough to lock you down and make it official.
If he won’t call you his girlfriend, he’s not serious about you, plain and simple.
- He’s not there for youYou just got laid off and he says “I’m sorry, that sucks” and leaves it at that. You get sick, and he doesn’t ask if he can bring you anything, or do anything for you. You tell him you really need help installing your new AC unit and he tells you to call a handyman.
The bottom line is he doesn’t support you—not emotionally when you’re dealing with tough stuff, and not when you need help with the more practical things in life. This means he’s not investing in you. He’s there for some fun, but that’s it.
Another way he’s not there for you is that he can’t make it to your important events, like birthday parties and work functions. These types of events are couple things, and if he’s not serious about you he’s not going to want to play that role.
If he’s not there to support you physically or emotionally, he’s not serious about you. Basically, when the going gets tough … he is nowhere to be found.
- He’s in and out of the relationshipIf he goes hot and cold, seeming really into you some of the time but then disappearing for days at a time, he’s treating you casually because the relationship is casual to him.
A lot of women think a man being hot and cold is a mixed message, but it’s not. It’s one very clear message: he’s not sure how he feels about you, he’s not worried about losing you, and he’s definitely not serious about you.
It’s terrible to have a guy go hot and cold because the hot feels so good and the cold is so devastating. It can end up becoming a cycle that you get used to and can’t bring yourself to shut down because you’re always waiting for it to get better again … but you feel bad all the time, even when things are “good,” because you know it won’t last.
If he’s hot and cold it’s because he’s not sure about you, and if he’s not sure about you he’s not serious about you.
- He won’t delete his dating appsIt doesn’t matter if he tells you he “never checks them,” the fact that he won’t part with them means he wants to leave the door open for other possibilities. This is because he’s not totally sure about you.
When a man is serious about you, he’s going to stop thinking about other options because he’s found a woman who has captivated his full attention. A man who’s determined to keep his dating apps has one foot out the door.
If you’ve asked him to delete them and he won’t, you know where you stand. He may still want to spend time with you or have sex with you, but he doesn’t care enough about your feelings to delete the apps for you. He’s keeping his options open and he’s okay with you knowing it. This doesn’t make him a bad person. It makes him a man who is not serious about you.
- You can’t be your true selvesThe best part of being in a relationship is that you can just be. If you feel like you have something to prove or like you have to work to be good enough for him, or if you have to hide parts of yourself from him in order to be comfortable, or if you get the vibe that he is holding back like this himself, then the relationship can’t progress because you can’t truly be intimate with one another.
Relationships grow from intimacy, from partners being vulnerable and open with each other.
It’s only when a guy is unsure of you that you feel like you have to measure everything you say and do—like you can’t just express your thoughts but instead have to filter them in order to make them align with what you think he wants to hear. When this is happening, you try to mold yourself into the kind of woman you think he wants.
When you sense this kind of dynamic taking place, it’s likely because you sense he isn’t all in. For the relationship to grow and become serious, you both have to be comfortable being your true selves.
- He won’t introduce you to friends or familyOne of the biggest signs a guy is serious is when he brings his girl into the fold. He does this because he wants to immerse her in his life. He cares about her and sees a possible future with her, and that means he wants her to have relationships with the people closest to him.
If a guy isn’t serious about you, he has no reason to introduce you to the people he cares about most. He won’t care whether or not you get along, or want you to be part of his story, creating memories with his crowd.
If he doesn’t know if you’ll be around in a few months, he might not even mention you to family and friends, the first step to bringing you into the fold.
If it feels like he’s hiding you from friends and family and he’s reluctant to introduce you or share that part of his life with you, then he’s not serious about you.
- He straight up tells you he’s not looking for anything seriousMen are very literal creatures. If he is respectful enough to be direct and spell it out for you, telling you quite literally that he’s not looking for anything serious, take it literally!
He might say this in any number of ways. Maybe that now isn’t a good time … I don’t want a serious relationship right now .. I can’t give you what you want or deserve … any variation of these classic lines means he’s not interested in something serious.
Maybe that means he doesn’t want a serious relationship at all or maybe it means he doesn’t want one with you. Either way, you can’t talk a man into a relationship. Take him at his word and don’t wait around for him to change his mind.
- You feel it in your gutWhen a guy likes you, it’s obvious! You know and everyone around you knows. And when a guy really, really likes you, he’s going to want to ensure he has a chance at something serious with you.
Even if he’s not ready to jump into something very serious like getting engaged, he’s not going to burn bridges and lose his shot by displaying these signs, things like not making you a priority, canceling your dates, or not making things official.
When he doesn’t like you enough for a serious relationship, it’s always obvious, too … the signs are clear, it’s just not as easy to admit.
Final ThoughtsSo, remain objective by taking the relationship for what it is right now, not what you want it to be. If you see these 13 signs it means he’s not serious about you, and you wanting it to be otherwise isn’t going to change that.
The good news is that once you learn to recognize what your guy has to offer, whether that’s something serious or something casual, you will be free. Free to decide for yourself whether or not what he’s offering is good enough for you.
If he wants casual and you’re ready for something serious, you can move on and find someone who wants the same things as you instead of wasting years of your life in a dead-end relationship.
When a guy shows these 13 signs, he’s wrong for you, and that means you can move on and find yourself the guy who’s right.
No one wants to be be played with. That’s a major fear that causes people to put up walls, preventing them from getting the love they truly want because love can’t flourish behind a plastic wall.
I want to start off by saying that very few people intentionally seek out playing mind games- most guys aren’t out there just looking to screw with your heads.
Mind games are usually a manifestation of his own ambivalence towards you and the relationship. Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough or maybe he just has issues with relationships in general and can’t commit.
Now on your end, you just feel totally confused. You spend more time trying to understand the relationship than you do actually enjoying it, and hence the term mind games. You feel like you’re trying to solve some intricate puzzle rather than build a relationship and form a connection. You feel like you can’t totally drop your guard because you’re afraid of being blindsided with a breakup.
Well to clear things up, I’m going to share the biggest telltale signs a guy isn’t sure about you and is playing games so keep reading.
- You’re doing all the workYou are always the one to initiate texts and hangouts. You almost feel like if you stopped reaching out to him, you would never hear from him again.
And here is where it gets confusing: he always replies … and he’s perfectly nice, and maybe even a little flirty when he does! And he does accept your invitations to hang out, and he seems to have a blast with you and seems really into you. So you feel really confused.
He may also initiate sometimes, but he can go days or weeks without reaching out and you’re not sure what this means- if he doesn’t like you, why reach out at all? Why be nice when you reach out to him?
Well, this is what I call the passive reciprocation trap. When you reach out, he responds and it perfectly nice and this is because he does like you a little … but he’s not really super into it and that’s why he’s taking a more passive approach to the relationship.
When a guy is on the fence about you, he will be in and out, sending “mixed messages” left and right and it will feel like he’s playing mind games. When a guy really does like you, he’ll be consistent.
If this is the situation you’re in, just pull back a bit and see what he does. There is no better indication of how a man feels than how he behaves when he thinks he may lose you.
- He bails on you … oftenThings come up sometimes, life happens. But how often is it happening?
If he’s consistently bailing on you, it’s a strong indicator that he doesn’t regard your feelings and isn’t worried about losing you. When a guy truly likes you, he won’t cancel unless he has a seriously legitimate reason.
If a guy is flaking often, it’s a sign that he just isn’t serious about you. Or maybe he’s just a selfish guy who always puts himself first. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
It also points to a guy who is still exploring his options. If a guy is just messing around, then he might bail on you when something “better” comes up.
- He’s in and out of the relationshipI touched on this earlier but this is basically the main component of knowing how a guy truly feels: he’s consistent.
If he’s in and out of the relationship, if he’s obsessed with you one week and then vanished without a trace the next, it’s a sign that he is apathetic toward you. Guys don’t act like this with women they really care about.
A lot of women get confused by mixed messages and hot and cold behavior. They come to me daily asking what the messages mean and usually, the message is clear: He’s just isn’t sure about you.
It feels like he’s playing mind games because when he’s in it, he seems to be so in and it feels really nice. But then when he goes cold, you’re left shattered and confused. What did you do wrong? What caused this? What is going on in this guy’s head?
Most likely, he likes you … but he doesn’t like you enough. That is truly what’s at the heart of all the confusion.
- You have no idea where he standsHe’s just kind of in a state of neutral. He’s nice and he’s friendly, but you have no idea how he really feels about you. Sometimes it seems like he really likes you, other times you have no idea and you feel like the rug could be pulled out from under you at any moment.
He doesn’t talk about his feelings or where he wants the relationship to go, and anytime you bring it up he either makes jokes or deflects. He seems content keeping things unclear and undefined. The reason he wants things to stay here is it’s not unclear for him, he knows he doesn’t really want a relationship with you but he can keep you around as long as you don’t know that that’s how he truly feels.
But it’s also possible he thinks he needs more time to figure out how he feels, or maybe to figure himself out. Either way, this state of confusion drives you completely crazy.
- He makes you feel lucky to have himHe makes you feel like you’re lucky to have been chosen by him, even if he isn’t giving you what you want.
When you express your needs, he might say “Well, I spend more time with you than anyone else, doesn’t that mean something to you?” almost making you feel like you should be grateful he’s giving you the time of day. He may tell you he has tons of options and that girls hit on him all the time and he can have anyone.
He may even “neg” you. Negging is an insult cloaked in a compliment- like “You look so much prettier with makeup on.” Or, “My last girlfriend was super hot– I’m glad you’re more of a girl-next-door type.”
All of this makes you confused and makes you feel inferior like you have to prove yourself and your worth to him.
- He keeps you in his back pocketA back pocket relationship is one where a guy hides you away from the rest of his life.
He doesn’t introduce you to his friends and family, he doesn’t really bring you into his world at all.
Now if the relationship is new, this is normal and understandable. But if it’s been a few months, then this is odd behavior. He’s either trying to hide something from you or trying to hide you from everyone else, either way, it’s a red flag.
- He’s never there for youHe shows up when he needs something or wants to get his needs met, but not so much the rest of the time.
It’s easy to be there for someone when everything is going great, but how is he when things get a little tough, as they inevitably will. Does he step up or take a big step back?
When a guy really cares, he wants to be there for you, this won’t be a burden or a chore for him. When a guy is ambivalent about you, he will bring out any excuse he can not to show up.
- He acts like a jerk to make you like himUnfortunately, there are many pick up artists out there that give men this advice, the advice that they need to be jerks to win a woman over.
Now fine, maybe you need to play it a little cool in the beginning, but if he’s being a total jerk to you that just points to a lot of issues within him and he might not be someone you want to be involved with. If a guy has to resort to that sort of thing, he clearly thinks his true self isn’t good enough, or he’s been too burned in the past to let someone in.
Either way, a guy who subscribes to this school of thought will completely mess with your head and probably won’t feel emotions about it because he thinks he’s in the right so stay away if you sense that’s what’s going on.
- His actions and words don’t alignMen communicate through actions more than words. This is where it gets confusing for a lot of women because words mean a lot to us.
It’s very easy for a guy to say, “Oh baby, I like you so much, I’ve never felt this way before.” But how do his words come across via actions? If he says that to you, but then disappears for days or weeks, or leaves you hanging, then maybe he was exaggerating his feelings just a touch.
When trying to decipher how a guy feels (side note: if a guy truly likes you, you won’t ever have to decipher because it will be clear and obvious), look at the actions more than words. If his words align with his actions, great! He means what he’s saying. If not … then it’s just poetry.
- He refuses to take down his dating profilesThis just shows he’s not serious about you, he wants to keep playing the field. He might also make you feel crazy for wanting him to take the profile down, like you’re just being jealous or unreasonable.
Granted, maybe he forgot about his account after you started dating, but if you bring it up and he still won’t take it down, it’s a strong sign that he wants to keep his options open.
- He intentionally tries to make you jealousThis is a strong sign of immaturity and he may also have learned this from the same pickup artist who told him to act like a jerk to make you like him.
He might talk about other women to you or flirt with other women in from of you. This can be his way of trying to get you to like him or his way of asserting that he’s not serious about you so that you don’t come to expect too much out of him.
- He’s not really interested in learning about you or your storyWhen we really like someone, we want to know everything. We want to know their full history- every scar and every scratch and every story.
When we’re indifferent, we don’t really care. We’re just using them to serve our own needs.
If a guy only seems to care about how you see him, how much you like him, then he’s using you to stroke his ego and isn’t into building a true and genuine connection.
- You feel it in your gutDeep down, you already know the truth. If you think this guy is playing games and isn’t serious about you, then you’re probably right.
The trouble is, you don’t want to be right! You really like him and you’re grasping for anything to hold onto, hoping that maybe you’re just being insecure and maybe you’re wrong.
Your gut instincts are there for a reason and they are a powerful tool when used correctly. Don’t ignore what she’s trying to tell you!
The fact is, you can’t read someone’s mind and it doesn’t serve you to assume bad intentions in another person, because most of the time these behaviors aren’t done with the intent to cause harm. We’re all human, we’re all fallible, and we all can be a little selfish when it comes to our wants and needs. So maybe you discovered that the guy you’re seeing is playing games with you … I know it hurts, but letting yourself become angry and jaded over it will only hurt you more in the long run because anger and bitterness serve no positive function.
Peter Pan & Wendy (2023) is the latest in the lineup of classic Disney feature cartoons remade into live action. Upon watching, it will quickly become obvious as to why it bypassed theaters and headed straight to streaming.
For over one hundred years, J.M. Barrie’s beloved tale is one of those that many have strived to tell, re-tell, twist, or modernize and fail. Whether on stage or screen, it’s such a fantastic world of fantasy and childhood adventure, that containing it outside of a book’s pages is a feat. On the big screen, no entries aside from the 1953 Disney cartoon and the much-beloved Hook, have brought in audiences or acclaim. The latest attempt is by director David Lowery, who brought Pete’s Dragon to life for Disney in 2016.
Peter Pan & Wendy feels like a film by two separate committees. It is very much a remake in the sense that the first half stays true to its cartoon predecessor. The plotlines, characters, even action sequences are nearly cut frame for frame from the cartoon.
Oddly though, the film is extraordinarily bland and earthy. All bright colors have been banned from costumes and sets, and there’s little whimsy. The barren yet beautiful landscape of British Columbia gets emphasis as Neverland, yet at no point ever looks like an inviting place to be. To that point, the great appeal of the two successful predecessors were the bright tones, the romance of the scenery, and magic of Neverland. This version was barely visible, heavily shadowed, and devoid of anything that would assist human survival.
After an elongated introduction to the Darling family and Wendy, played by Ever Anderson (who looks identical to a young Milla Jovovich, because that’s her daughter), we meet Peter Pan. He comes across mildly charming but as more of a brat than someone you’d want to travel with. At this point, we are covered in Pixie Dust and thrust into Neverland without reason, other than Peter said so.
We quickly encounter Captain Hook, played far too maniacally by Jude Law, and run into the Lost Boys accompanied by Tiger Lily. Even though the cast of characters are plentiful, we as the audience are barely given more than an introduction. There are few moments, no arc, or backstory from anyone outside of Wendy, Peter, and Hook. Everyone else is forgettable set dressing.
Even Tinkerbell is reduced to a mute, wasting the talents of Yara Shahidi.
The unfortunate reliance on the few sets they had made the film stagnant as, aside from the B-roll of Canadian islands, it was predominantly set in four locations. The Darling’s Attic, Hook’s Pirate Ship, Lost Boys Dark Hideout, and some unlit Caves made this feel more like a play at times than a film, but who could tell when you can’t physically see the actors?
After two isolated songs bringing this film nearly into the category of musical, we enter the second half, where the film takes a turn and license to try something new. Instead of stretching out the source material or much-needed development of existing characters, we learn that (SPOILER) Hook was once a lost boy and Peter’s friend.
He was banished by Peter for missing his mother and wanting to go home, only he never made it and was raised by pirates until he became a grown-up. Now he hates Peter Pan and rightfully so. From the audience standpoint, the film doesn’t do justice to Peter. He’s spoiled, snarky, and doesn’t care about anyone but himself for more than a few seconds. I will give it to the filmmakers that, be it unintentional, I’ve never seen Peter Pan come off as the villain before.
Peter is redeemed, of course, and makes some amends with Hook, all during a fight scene between children and well-armed, adult pirates where no one ever dies. We also get our heavy-handed female empowerment moments as Wendy makes a pirate ship fly on her own and saves all the boys. Disney still tries to bring modern ideas and equality to times where it didn’t exist, but it’s a kid’s story in a made-up land, so who cares.
This take on the well-known tale really fell as flat as the color palette they shot it on. It’s yet another disappointing, failed, and ultimately boring effort to tell a story we all want to see done well. Feel free to pass on this, or hate watch it and talk through the entirety as you won’t be able to physically see much of it anyway. Don’t feel bad if you send this film to Never-Watch-Land.
Friday the 13th fans rejoice! Slasher-loving friends of the Voorhees Family are getting a new prequel series thanks to a team-up between streaming service Peacock and new modern horror connoisseurs, A24. While a ton isn’t yet known about the direction of the show, or even when it’s coming out (other than a vague “in 2024”), that doesn’t mean the horror lovers of the world can’t speculate to their bloody heart’s content. We have hints from the original movie’s lead actress Adrienne King–who played Final Girl, Alice–that she’ll be in the show. Beyond that, it’s shrouded in mystery like a fog over Camp Crystal Lake.
And as one of those horror lovers who gives the series a special place in their heart, there are a few things I want from the show that I’m hoping they give.
Please don’t be like Friday the 13th: The Series.Most Friday the 13th fans have conveniently forgotten–or tried to forget–the franchise’s first stab at having a TV show. Friday the 13th: The Series ran from 1987 to 1990 and featured, you guessed it, NO Jason Voorhees. Aside from the name, there was nothing tying this Warehouse 13 meets Tales from the Crypt horror show to the original slasher films. Not a single thing.
Friday the 13th: The SeriesWas the show bad? Not necessarily, which is why it has a 68% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. But we need a show that actually ties to the lore. Luckily, Peacock is calling Crystal Lake a “prequel,” so there’s a very good chance we’ll be able to tie it back to the events of the first movie.
Take a page from Halloween’s book.Look, Friday the 13th is just about as convoluted of a slasher horror franchise as Halloween. Yet the Michael Myers classic had a new trilogy of sequels recently that, let’s face it, weren’t half bad. One of the biggest reasons for this uptick in quality is probably thanks to the writers disregarding all sequels to the franchise in writing this new series of films.
Crystal Lake should have the same fate. Let’s ignore Jason X or Jason Takes Manhattan. Let’s even ignore the potential otherworldly immortality of the reborn murderous Voorhees son. It worked for Halloween, so why not Friday the 13th?
Pick a great Mrs. Voorhees.If it’s a prequel, Crystal Lake has to have a great Mrs. Voorhees. She needs to be the doting mom of an outcast child that could feasibly turn murderous if provoked by the thoughtless actions of some horny teens. Right now, there’s no cast announced other than Adrienne King teasing her hire. That means we get to imagine someone else in the role of a young Pamela Voorhees.
Vanessa Kirby as a young Mrs. Voorhees?While it might be best to pick an unknown, here are a few suggestions for the original Friday the 13th slasher: Vanessa Kirby (The Crown), Samara Weaving (Ready or Not), or Adrienne King herself.
Add a slasher element even though it shouldn’t be there.We all learn about what happened to young Jason Voorhees in the first Friday the 13th (1980). He was a young camper who was ostracized by the rest of the kids his age. As he was being bullied by the docks, some kids threw him into the lake. He might have been saved from drowning if it wasn’t for the horny camp counselors who were too busy messing around with each other to watch the kids.
But if that’s what the show is about, it isn’t exactly spooky? Though there’s seemingly no known slasher lore before Mrs. Voorhees picks up a machete in 1980, it would be a shame to have a Friday the 13th show without a little murder. However they can swing it, plot-wise, some “Who’s the killer?” goodness would be very welcome in Crystal Lake.
Add more Friday the 13th cameos. (Kevin Bacon, we’re looking at you.)Clearly Adrienne King is coming back, but who else would you like to see in Crystal Lake? We could get any of the 10 men who have played Jason Voorhees since the movies began, including the most prolific, Kane Hodder. We could get Core Feldman, who was in The Final Chapter, or Jared Padalecki who was in the terrible 2009 reboot.
Friday the 13th (1980) / Paramount PicturesProbably the biggest get–and ironically most likely–is Kevin Bacon. The now well-known actor was one of several camp counselors to get slaughtered in the original film. And considering he recently starred in another Peacock slasher, They/Them (2022), it’s not out of the question that he’d show up in Crystal Lake.
Give it the respect it deserves–but add a little “camp.”The total silliness that the slasher genre embodied in the 1980s isn’t exactly the vibe for modern-day horror. Even slasher franchises that have survived into the 2020s (hi, Scream), have had to adapt. For Crystal Lake to stand as a great Friday the 13th prequel, it should have some of the customary seriousness that fits with the current horror era. Still, to truly appeal to fans, new and old alike, Crystal Lake should have a splash of the campiness that makes the summer camp slasher franchise so special. Here’s to hoping that it does the franchise justice!
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. Maybe he comes right out and tells you he needs some space, or maybe you notice he’s backing away … you haven’t seen him in a while, his texts or calls are shorter and less frequent, and you can just feel it in your gut that something is amiss.
If you ask him what’s going on and why he’s being this way, he might come right out and say he needs some space (which does nothing to assuage your mounting anxiety), or he might say something to indicate it in an indirect way, like he needs to focus on work right now, or he’s really stressed, or he thinks you should be spending some time focusing on yourself. Even worse, he may pretend like everything is totally normal, making you feel crazy, even though you know you’re not crazy and something is just not right here!
A man might ask for space in the beginning of a relationship, or when things are more serious, or even after you’re married. No matter what, it’s a horrible feeling and you can’t stop your mind from spinning and fearing the worst. You try to figure out what you could have done wrong, and you strategize about ways to make things better and get the relationship back on track. This usually doesn’t work; if anything it makes the situation even worse.Here’s the thing that’s important to realize: men are not women. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women.
When a man needs space, it often has little, if anything, to do with you.
But let’s get into it a little deeper and look at common reasons and scenarios where men need space, and what you can do about it.
Space Because of StressThe number-one reason a man pulls away is that he is stressed. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all.
Men don’t typically like to talk about their problems and see it as a sign of weakness. A man prides himself on being able to solve issues and can feel extremely unsettled and off balance when problems emerge in his own life that he’s not able to resolve.
Men will typically view themselves as weak and incapable if they voice their feelings or lean on other people for help or support. A guy might do it, but he’ll typically feel like a loser or weakling for asking for support or even talking about his feelings. The way women handle difficult emotions is probably much more psychologically healthy and healing, but it is what it is.
To cope with whatever stress he is facing, a man will typically withdraw and go deep into what has become known as a metaphorical “man cave.”
He will want to hide away until he has reached a solution. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sitting down and strategizing on ways to solve the problem. Sometimes he’ll just immerse himself completely in something else, like playing video games for hours on end or work or watching sports.
Men have a much harder time processing and handling emotions than women do. They don’t have the same kinds of support systems, and sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings just doesn’t come naturally to them. For him, escaping his feelings temporarily is sometimes more beneficial than trying to sort through them.
A University of Vienna neuroscience lab found that men become more self-centered and less empathetic when they’re stressed out. Women, however, react in the opposite way, becoming “prosocial” and better able to distinguish their own emotions and intentions from those of other people. So it isn’t personal, it’s just his process!
What to DoThe biggest mistake a woman can make when he is in this mode is to force him to talk about it. And even worse is when she tries to solve the problem for him.
Even though your intentions are pure, when you offer up solutions he feels emasculated. Men need to feel like they are in charge of their lives, like they are capable of solving whatever comes up. He prides himself on being able to solve things, and when you try to do it for him he gets the message that you don’t trust that he’ll be able to figure it out on his own, and it makes him feel even worse.
When he is under stress, just give him space and try not to take it personally. If you get angry or frustrated with him, he will just see you as another source of stress in his life, and it will put more strain on the relationship.
Why is this so hard? Even though most women know about the “man cave,” they still have a hard time accepting it because women cope with stress very differently. When a woman is upset, she will typically want to talk about it with those she feels closest to. Talking about it is therapeutic, and a solution isn’t necessary.
Because of this, if a man doesn’t want to talk about his problems, the woman can take it to mean that he doesn’t feel close to her, or doesn’t fully trust her or care about her. She feels shut out and rejected and may come to resent him for it, thus exacerbating any problems that already exist. It’s important to realize that when a man pulls back, he isn’t shutting you out. It is just his process, and he will be back and better than ever once he has a handle on whatever it going on.
If he does come to you, don’t try to solve the problem for him. Just listen. You can offer advice if he asks, but only if he asks.
Space in a Committed RelationshipAnother main reason a guy can need to take space in a relationship is if his needs aren’t being met or he feels unappreciated. Guys aren’t always able to articulate their emotional needs. It could be because they’ve been conditioned by society not to talk about such things or because they don’t have the language to express what it is they want and need. Some men don’t even realize their own emotional deficits, and that is an area where you can be a huge help to him!
A man won’t always come right out and tell you what he needs from you, but he will know it when he gets it. So he might not tell you that he really needs your approval and appreciation. Maybe you do show him appreciation, but he needs more and he doesn’t know how to tell you that. Instead, he backs away. He isn’t as present or engaged, and you feel a palpable space forming and don’t know how to break through.
What to DoTry to pay attention to what lights him up and what shuts him down. If he is already deep in the “man cave,” engage in an open, empathetic dialogue and ask him what it is that you could do more of to make him feel good. You might be surprised by what he tells you. And no matter what it is, try not to get defensive. Your instinctive response might be, “I do that all the time!” but try to restrain yourself and hear him out.
You can also voice what it is you need from him. In any relationship, it’s important to check in with your partner to make sure both people are happy and getting what they need to feel loved. When you approach him from a place of genuinely wanting to make the relationship better and wanting to make him feel loved, he will be receptive to you.
Space in the Beginning of a RelationshipMany women, myself included, have been in situations where they’re dating a guy, things are going great, they’re spending more and more time together, getting closer and closer … and then he starts pulling away.
He might say he needs space, or he might just start taking it without warning. And the woman is baffled. What went wrong? She thought everything was going so well!
These situations usually happen for one of two reasons.
Reason OneThe first is a very subtle, sneaky one. It comes from a mindset shift that happens within you. When a relationship starts to get a lot more serious, a lot of women reflexively freak out and become consumed with the fear that things won’t work out. This fear causes them to cling tighter to the relationship, to associate their self-worth with how the guy feels. They think about the relationship constantly, obsess over what things mean, and analyze the “signs” looking for bad omens.
The guy can pick up on this energy. Maybe you’re being subtle, but he’ll feel it on a visceral level.
All of a sudden he doesn’t feel as relaxed around you and the vibe is no longer fun and carefree. Instead, he feels like he’s being analyzed, like something is expected of him, like you don’t fully trust him … and it’s a bad feeling. He might not be able to pinpoint it, but suddenly he doesn’t feel as strong of a pull to be around you. I talk a lot more about this in my article on why guys suddenly lose interest.
What to DoDon’t stress, everything is fine! Your fears are real; I’m not taking away from that. It could be because you’ve dated guys in the past who ended it out of the blue, and you’re afraid of being in the same situation again. You might not have a solid sense of self-esteem and so you look to men to fill up your self-worth tank. Try to get to the root of this underlying fear so you can internalize that you are lovable and you do deserve lasting love with a great man.
Reason TwoAnother likely reason is he’s just freaking out a little bit because things are getting more serious. A lot of guys worry that a girl will become the gatekeeper of their social calendar as soon as a commitment is made, and they will have to say goodbye to watching football with the guys on Sunday, playing sports, and every other activity they enjoy. Maybe it sounds stupid and irrational, but it’s a real fear for most guys.
A lot of guys have that one friend with a possessive, needy girlfriend who has to check in every five minutes and can’t do anything fun, and that could be enough to scare him away, at least for a little bit.
What to DoWhen you give him space and the opportunity to maintain his own life and do what he likes to do, this fear dissipates.
Don’t stand in the way or make him feel guilty or tell him what he should be doing. Encourage him to be who he wants to be and do what he wants to do, and make sure you do the same. A guy may not always ask for space, but he will be grateful anytime it is granted to him. Giving space isn’t an issue if your focus is on making your life an amazing place without needing him to make it that way for you.
When he has time to do his thing, either by himself or with his guy friends, he has the chance to recharge that part of himself.
And when he’s fully charged, that’s when you’re going to find him the most attractive. That’s when he’s going to be that ideal man that you want. And the same goes for women. Women need to recharge their “woman batteries” too by doing girly stuff with their friends. As a woman, you should never deny a man his time to recharge. This will also benefit you as well, so everyone wins!
Final ThoughtsNo matter what his reasons for needing space, try not to take it personally and don’t harbor resentment towards him over it.
Yes, I know you would prefer he talk to you about whatever is going on, but the fact that he doesn’t want to is just a sign of how much he cares about you … he cares what you think so much that he doesn’t want to come across as weak in your eyes. Try to maintain warm, positive feelings towards him and use the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you feel good.
If you feel really hurt by him taking space, and it’s eating away at you, bring it up to him. Just be sure to do it in a loving way, not in an accusatory or attacking way, because that will just make things worse.
In the end, remember that when a man needs space, it may have little, if anything, to do with you: He may be stressed out, he may have emotional needs that aren’t being met, he may be reacting to clinginess on your part, or he may be worried about losing his freedom.
In any of these cases, there are things you can do to reassure him. Focus on those things, and his need for space will no longer be frightening or nerve-wracking. Instead, it will be an opportunity to give him something he needs to be his best self.
You know the feeling … it’s that palpable shift that you can’t quite put your finger on, it just hangs in the air sending waves of panic throughout your being. Sometimes you think you’re imagining things… that your insecurities and fears are acting up, and things go back to business as usual.
And just as you’re breathing that delicious sigh of relief, the panic reemerges and jabs you right between the ribs. Something is up, you don’t want to admit it, but you know it.
They say advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didn’t, and I most certainly agree! I get flooded with desperate questions from women wanting to know if their guy is losing interest.
The thing is, they already know the answer, they know he is, they’re just coming to me as a last resort … hoping that there’s a chance they’re totally deluded and wrong and not only is this guy is not losing interest, he’s head over heels in love!
I know what a miserable feeling this is … and what a confusing one! It makes no sense because everything started out so great and you have no idea when it started to go wrong. And it’s pretty hard not to take it personally, which just makes everything worse.
Why won’t he come out and tell you he’s losing interest? Because interest doesn’t usually flip on and off like a light switch. It’s more like a dimmer…it steadily fades to black. A guy may go through several weeks, or even months, trying to sort out how he feels and during that time, he isn’t totally sure he wants to sever ties forever. While his words may not be telling you much, his behavior speaks volumes.
Top 10 Signs He’s Losing Interest In YouTo spare you the torturous game of is he or isn’t he, these are the definitive signs that your guy is losing interest:
- He makes excusesWhile at first, he was all about you … now all of a sudden he has to work late, he wants to see you but he really needs to go to the gym… he’s really tired … he thinks he’s coming down with a cold. Whereas in the beginning, he would race to see you even if he had to climb out from under a pile of work, running on two hours of sleep, with the flu, these days he seems to jump on any tiny excuse he can find to avoid hanging out with you.
Typically, whenever someone gives you an excuse for why they can’t do something, what they’re really telling you is they don’t want to do that thing.
- He doesn’t ask you as many questionsWhen we like someone, we can’t get enough. We’re curious, inquisitive, and we want to know everything.
If he doesn’t really seem interested in anything you have to say, he seems bored when you talk, he cuts you off, he looks away, or he doesn’t remember the things you tell him, it’s a big sign he’s losing interest in you.
- He doesn’t light up anymoreI have a guy friend who seemed to be destined for permanent bachelorhood. He dated countless women, all wonderful, attractive, smart, etc., and one by one he dumped them all. Everyone thought he was too picky, that his standards were unrealistic, that he would end up alone…
Then he started dating a girl seriously, really seriously, and before long they got engaged. I asked him what was different about her, what made her stand out from the rest, and he said: “I’m just always excited to see her. Even if we’ve been out every night that week, I still get excited every time.” It’s as simple as that. When we like someone, we light up around them. When our fire is beginning to wane, we don’t have that same level of enthusiasm.
Women do the same thing. Back when I was single and dating, I knew I was losing interest in a guy if I didn’t want to waste my makeup on him, or if I raced out the door without giving myself a second look. It wasn’t because I was pressed for time, it was because I genuinely didn’t care!
- He’s not responsiveHe doesn’t text back or gives you cold, one-word responses. Now don’t prematurely panic, a lot go guys are just not good at texting, or communication in general. But if he isn’t responsive over text and in general seems totally indifferent toward you, that’s a different story.
You may find his responses vague, and maybe it feels like you’re pulling teeth every time you try to get an answer out of him. He isn’t forthcoming with you about his plans or what he wants. Basically, talking to him always feels like a struggle. It doesn’t feel easy and effortless, it feels like you’re always coming up against a wall and it’s exhausting trying to breakthrough.
- He picks fightsThis is a common thing guys do when they’re losing interest in a girl, or gearing up to break up with her. It is sort of his way of trying to get out of having to be the bad guy who hurts you. He would rather drive you crazy and get you to break up with him.
Maybe he gets extra defensive, maybe he picks at you, maybe it seems like he’s trying to get under your skin, maybe he intentionally does things he knows you hate. When he does these things, he may be intentionally trying to push you away.
He may also get annoyed by you easily. Maybe habits he used to find adorable now drive him nuts.
Yes, it may seem childish, but it comes from a sort of good place, a place of him really not wanting to hurt your feelings.
- No initiativeHe’ll reply when you reach out, but he doesn’t initiate. On top of that, he just seems to slack off in the relationship. There are no nice dates and advance planning. There is no effort, just bare minimum.
Maybe he doesn’t maintain his appearance like he used to and puts in no effort to impress you and win you over. A man’s desire and drive is activated when he feels like he’s winning a woman over and working to earn her. The more effort he put into winning her over, the more invested he becomes in her. If he isn’t putting in any effort, it means he doesn’t really care to keep her around.
- The relationship stagnatesAt first, the momentum was building, you started off strong, things were going great … but then it seems to taper off, or worse yet, you seem to be going backward.
If you’ve been seeing each other for a little while now and he won’t put a label on it or take the next step, or he dodges you every time you try to talk about the relationship, it’s a clear sign he’s losing interest and doesn’t see a future with you.
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No sexSex is essentially a barometer for the relationship. If your guy is less interested in your sexually, it’s a sign that he’s just less interested in you overall. There are ways to seduce a man and bring the spark back into your relationship, but if he’s losing interest in you as a person, then sex won’t be enough to really reel him back in.
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Only sexOK, on the other side of the coin, if he’s only interested in sex and nothing more, then that’s also a sign he’s losing interest.
Maybe you don’t hear from him for days and then, ping, his name pops up on your phone late at night asking if you want to come over. Maybe he tells you he’s been busy, but he hasn’t been busy. He’s just not that interested in you anymore …but he doesn’t want to cut you out of his life entirely…and he does enjoy having your body next to his … so that’s why you occasionally hear from him.
Basically, if he doesn’t take you out, if you don’t hear from him consistently, only here and there when it’s convenient for him (and late at night), then he is losing interest in you.
Yes, he’s still in your life kind of, but he won’t be as soon as he finds another girl he really does like, so your best bet is to cut your losses.
- He’s being shadyI really hate this word but it gets the point across! He’s just weird around you and something feels off and uncomfortable. This is in stark contrast to how it was in the beginning when you felt so at ease around him and everything was just so effortless.
Now there is a palpable strain in the air that you can’t ignore.
Now, it’s normal for guys to sometimes take space or withdraw, especially if is stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, but he will usually come back. If he continues to shut you out more and more, it’s because he’s making his exit from the relationship.
- You just knowDeep down, you already know the truth. You’re reading this article because you’re hoping that maybe you’re wrong, but now you have to face the unpleasant truth that maybe you’re not, and maybe this relationship isn’t going to pan out how you hoped and now you will have to dust off and start anew.
Our guts are powerful tools, and they have access to a lot more information than we do. Our guts can access things in our subconscious awareness and pick up on subtleties. When you learn to listen to your gut, you will be better equipped to navigate the dating waters with your self-esteem intact.
What To Do When He Loses InterestIf a guy isn’t interested in you, all it means is he isn’t the right guy for you, and that’s really no big deal. Don’t beat yourself up or take this personally. I know it feels personal, but it really isn’t.
Not everyone can be a match for everyone else…and we wouldn’t want it to be that easy. The hard is what makes it worth it in the end.
I know it can feel devastating in the moment, especially if you felt that the connection was strong and that he has all the qualities you want in a man, but if he were the right guy for you, he would be with you. You may not see it now, but in time you will meet a man who makes his interest known, who claims you and never leaves you with questions or doubts, who really sees you and appreciates the full scope of who you are, then all of this will make sense and you will wonder why you ever willingly wasted time on someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t see your worth.
There is a light at the end, remember that and just keep going. Keep working on yourself, keep growing, keep building your inner strength and quality of character. Do these things and love will be effortless.
In Summary…These are the biggest signs he’s losing interest in you:
- He makes excuses
- He doesn’t ask you as many questions.
- He just doesn’t light up anymore.
- He’s not responsive
- He picks fights
- No initiative
- The relationship stagnates
- No sex.
- Only sex.
- He’s shady
- You just know.
Why do men pull away in the early stages?
It’s an all too common question. Most women are familiar with that gut-wrenching feeling, the one that happens when you’ve been seeing a guy, a guy you really like, and all seemed to be going well until suddenly it wasn’t.
Suddenly he seems to be pulling away. He’s not as excited by you, he’s not as responsive, he disappears for hours or days, he’s just not there anymore, not in the way he was in the beginning. So what’s going on? Is it something you said? Something you did? Something you didn’t do?
Your mind spins and spins looking for an answer and in the end, you just feel exhausted and defeated, and also really sad that all the potential of the magical relationship that could have been is slowly going up in smoke.
The worst is if this is a pattern for you, if you’ve experienced this sort of thing multiple times. How are you not to take it personally? Maybe it means that you’re the problem.
Don’t worry. Chances are it’s not you and you aren’t doomed. Let’s break it down and look at exactly why guys pull away in the early stages, and what you should do to bring him back.
Common Reasons Guys Pull Away In the Beginning* There is something else going on in his life that demands his energy and attention and it has nothing to do with you * You’re doing something that’s causing him to pull away (i.e. acting too needy/clingy/desperate/demanding) * He’s having doubts about the relationship * He thinks things are moving too fast and he wants to slow it down * He’s not that interested in you
If a guy is pulling away, chances are it’s for one of these reasons. If you really look hard and listen to your instincts, I’m sure you’ll figure out which one fits your situation.
Sometimes he’s pulling away because he’s struggling with something outside of the relationship – maybe issues at work, family issues, or emotional issues, and might just need space. Sometimes, there are other reasons, such as…
He’s Not Interested And Doesn’t Want To Tell YouA guy would rather walk over a hot bed of coals then tell you to your face that he isn’t interested!
No one likes to have the uncomfortable relationship conversation. Girls hate it and men despise it. Most men just aren’t as equipped to manage their emotions and if they have any inclination that an emotional maelstrom is going to hit, they will do anything they can to avoid it!
It is hard to tell someone to their face that you are no longer interested. Granted it’s probably harder to be on the receiving end of this, but still, no one enjoys doing this. It’s hard and painful and it makes you feel terrible.
Here is a core concept about men: they move toward what feels good and away from what feels bad. That’s literally the only thing you need to know to understand everything about men.
It’s scary to have those conversations. You don’t know how the other person is going to react and you don’t know what you’re walking into. It’s much safer and more comfortable to just avoid.
Now a guy doesn’t usually actively make this decision. He doesn’t decide to pull away… he just kind of puts off having the conversation. So he’s still in the relationship, but not really. And you’re confused because he’s not breaking up with you, but he also clearly seems to be losing interest.
Basically, he’s just buying time. He’s delaying the inevitable and he’s lingering. He doesn’t mean you drive you crazy, he just really doesn’t want to be the guy to hurt you, so he avoids it the same way most of us avoid doing anything unpleasant that we really, really don’t feel like doing, like the dishes or laundry.
In his way, and this also isn’t a conscious decision, he may be trying to show you he’s no longer interested so he doesn’t have to come right out and tell you.
So he takes longer to call or text you back, he’s less engaged and interested, you’re less of a priority. He pulls away bit by bit until it’s safe to make a totally clean break.
Why Guys Silently Pull AwayA guy will pull away, or do what’s known as the fadeaway, for one of two reasons. The first is he just wasn’t that into you, to begin with. Not everyone is a match and that’s OK.
Maybe he wasn’t attracted to you enough, maybe he realized he doesn’t like your personality, maybe your interests are too vastly different. Whatever the case, there just isn’t enough chemistry and fundamental compatibility to make a relationship work. And these things can’t be faked or forced. They’re either there, or not. So if this is the case, then there isn’t much you can do.
Yes, it’s incredibly painful when you feel that everything is so right and he just doesn’t agree, but the right guy for you is a guy who wants to be with you. If this guy doesn’t want that, then there’s nothing to think about.
The next reason a guy will pull away is that you’re doing something that’s turning him off. Usually, the most common culprit is neediness.
Neediness isn’t what you think. It’s not the desperate girl acting like a lunatic and stalking her man and begging him to love her. Neediness is more subtle than that. Neediness is a mindset more than a set of behaviors. It is a mindset that says, “I need you to respond to me in a certain way or I won’t be OK.”
For example, you “need” him to be your official boyfriend or you will be distraught and will question everything about yourself. You need him to shower you with compliments or you will feel insecure and unworthy. You need him to text you back within a certain window of time or you will panic and think he no longer cares and he’s off with someone new.
Basically, you don’t feel OK on your own, you need him to be a certain way in order to feel good.
Suffice to say, this is a huge turn off for pretty much all men. No guy wants to be responsible for your emotional wellbeing and that just isn’t his job. Only you can control your emotional reactions and the way you feel about yourself and your life. He can’t “make” you feel a certain way. You already feel a certain way and then you look for confirmation of that in his behavior… and then you blame him for “making” you feel insecure when really it had nothing to do with him.
Guys also don’t want to be the sole center of your universe. The most attractive woman to any man is a woman who is thoroughly happy in her life and brings that into the relationship. She has a life outside of the relationship and has many elements in her life that bring her joy. She doesn’t only extract joy and a sense of worth from her relationship.
When you are in the needy state of mind, you act in off-putting ways. You are unhappy, insecure, demanding, resentful, clingy, and just not pleasant to be around. So most of the time when a man pulls away early on, it’s because he felt that needy energy coming off you and it immediately sent up a red flag in his mind and reflexively caused him to pull back.
How to Stop Him From Pulling AwayIt’s actually very simple. You need to focus on just being OK with a situation as it is. Don’t place demands or expectations on it. Just let it flow and go with it.
If he isn’t your official boyfriend, then don’t act like his girlfriend. Don’t close yourself off to other guys and take down your dating profiles. Be as committed to him as he is to you. If he says he doesn’t want to put a label on it right now, then don’t take yourself off the market. (Also, and this is another mantra you should burn into your head: if a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, believe him.)
If he hasn’t clearly and explicitly claimed you as his then you are free to do whatever you like. Don’t go all in and bend over backward to please him in an attempt to show him what an amazing girlfriend you would be. This is just desperation and neediness all dressed up.
It is a huge mistake to put all your eggs in one basket. This is how you set the stage to be devastated.
So keep your options open. This doesn’t mean you have to juggle dating ten guys at a time. Maybe there’s no one you want to date at this exact moment. That’s fine, just keep yourself open to the possibility of dating other guys, don’t mentally commit yourself to this guy who hasn’t committed to you.
Another important point is to focus on loving yourself and loving your life. Have a balanced, well-rounded life full of people you love and activities you enjoy. Do whatever makes you feel happy and alive. Make it a priority to do these things.
If you have issues still haunting you from your past, maybe from your upbringing or previous relationships, then deal with them! Problems don’t just solve themselves. And hurt feelings don’t disappear just because they go unacknowledged. Work through whatever is holding you back so you can be your best self and have the relationship you’ve always wanted.
You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self
Let’s talk about men going hot and cold.
Is there anything more unsettling and frustrating? You’re seeing a guy, everything seems to be going great, he seems super into you … and then he’s not. Something suddenly shifts. You try not to worry too much, but you can’t help but wonder what you may have done. But then he’s back like nothing ever happened. And just when you’re getting comfortable, he disappears again. Or he shuts down. Or he withdraws.
You have no idea where he stands. Is he into you or not? Some days it seems like he definitely is, other days he acts like you’re some sort of nuisance. Some days he’s warm, affectionate and sweet, other days he shuts you out in the cold and leaves you shivering from his icy behavior.
You may try to talk to him about it, but that effectively gets you nowhere. He either acts like he has no idea what you’re talking about or gives you some vague excuse.
So let’s dive in and look at the real reasons some men run hot and cold.
But He Was So Into Me At First, Why Did He Switch?Most men don’t go hot and cold intentionally. It’s not a game or a grand manipulation. Only a highly insecure guy would resort to those sorts of tactics and that’s not someone you really want to be involved with.
Most of the time, hot and cold behavior manifests from unconscious feelings. This is why a guy may have a hard time giving you a straight answer when you ask him why he’s acting this way … it’s because he doesn’t really know!
Here is what usually happens in these hot and cold situations. It’s usually not a case of him being hot and cold at all! Let me explain.
In the beginning, he starts off red hot. Men are competitive by nature and when he meets a girl he likes, his innate drive kicks in and he pursues her. He brings his A-game and really steps up to win her over. He’s sweet, he’s attentive, he texts constantly, he is just so present and so there. Then things get a little more settled and it appears like his interest is waning.
He isn’t texting as much, other things have replaced you on the priority list. You wonder why he’s suddenly being so cold. What changed? The only thing you can think of is that he’s losing interest. And if you really like this guy, this will send you into a panic. You will go into overdrive trying to rectify the situation before it’s too late and he’s gone forever. Sadly, your attempts to fix things will actually end up creating a problem when there wasn’t one.
Most likely, he wasn’t losing interest in you, he was just settling into a more comfortable and natural daily routine. Texting someone all day and showering them with affection isn’t a natural routine. People have work and school and other obligations. In the beginning, he does it because he really wants to win you over. Once he’s “won” you, then he can be more himself. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, it just means he’s more comfortable with you now and that’s a good thing!
That is essentially the switch women feel. The one that appears like he’s gone from hot to cold. It’s the transition from him pursuing you to settling in and just being with you.
But that’s not the only explanation…
Here Is The Real Deal On Why Men Run Hot and ColdHere are some of the most common reasons behind a man’s hot and cold behavior.
1. Something outside of the relationship is bothering him.
Sometimes he has stuff going on in his life that’s taking his attention away from the relationship. This is usually the number one reason a man will pull away or withdraw from a relationship. Men deal with stress and difficulties differently than most women. Men typically prefer to retreat and work things out internally rather than talking about it and seeking others out for comfort.
The best thing you can do is just do nothing. Give him the space he needs and just focus on your own life. Men are not in a headspace to be compassionate and loving when they are stressed and off balance and it will be very hard for you not to take his behavior personally. Try to remember that it has nothing to do with you and once he gets a handle on whatever the issues are, he’ll be that sweet and loving guy again. But only if you respect his need for space! This is a huge mistake most women make.
The more you squeeze him, the more pressure he’ll feel and he’ll really start to pull away and lose interest in you.
2. He wants to slow things down.
Like I mentioned earlier, a man will often go full force in the beginning because he’s trying to win you over. Once he’s won you over, he’ll pull back a little to slow things down. He can’t keep up the momentum that he started off with because then the relationship would move at lightning speed and that’s not a healthy pace for a relationship.
So he settles into a more comfortable routine, and that often means he is slightly less engaged in the relationship. It may look like he’s losing interest, but he’s really just trying to get to know you on a real level. The beginning of a relationship isn’t real. It’s all potential and chemistry and flirty banter. The real part comes a little later and that’s what lays the foundation for having a healthy, lasting relationship.
3. He just doesn’t like you enough.
This one stings. No one wants this to be the truth. It’s our worst-case scenario and unfortunately, sometimes it’s just the reality.
He just doesn’t know how he feels about you. At the root of his hot and cold behavior is a whopping dose of uncertainty. He thinks you’re attractive, he enjoys your company, he thinks you’re a wonderful person, but something just isn’t fully clicking for him. There are days when he thinks, “Wow, she’s really cool! Maybe she is something I can settle down with…”
But other days he just isn’t sure. He’s not sure if he likes certain aspects of your personality. He’s not sure your values align. He’s attracted to you, but he’s not sure if he’s that attracted to you. He likes the idea of you, he just doesn’t know if he likes you.
The switch you feel in this scenario is really just him testing the waters to see if he wants to dive in. And if he’s become much more cold than hot, it means he probably decided that you just aren’t the right girl for him.
What Should You Do When a Guy is Running Hot and Cold?Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game. You’re afraid of losing him and don’t know what to do next.
First things first, take an honest look at the relationship and try to figure out the reason for his behavior. It will most likely be due to one of the three reasons listed above.
No matter what the reason, the worst possible thing to do is chase after him. This instinct is activated by fear and will come across as desperate and needy. It makes sense that you’re hurt and confused by his sudden cold shift. But reacting this way will just make him want to run farther and faster, so don’t do it.
Another mistake is to retaliate and act cold toward him. This just won’t get you anywhere and will only widen the gap between you and him making it even harder to bridge.
If he is in the midst of the busy season at work, or just got a huge project dumped on him, then he’s dealing with external stress and his behavior most likely has nothing to do with you (unless you start badgering him to tell you what’s going on and why he’s acting this way).
If everything seems fine, except he’s just not as actively engaged as he was in the beginning, then do not panic. It just means he’s easing into a more normal and natural routine, and that’s a good thing! Just go with it.
Don’t let your insecurities flare up and make you paranoid that he’s losing interest and is going to leave you. These fears will cause a problem when there wasn’t one to begin with. In this case, stop focusing on the relationship so much and instead focus on yourself and on enjoying your life and bring that positive energy into the relationship.
If he’s not that into you … well, it’s better to know now. You won’t be able to change his mind. If he’s just not feeling it, then you can’t convince him otherwise. When a guy likes you, it’s obvious. If it isn’t obvious to you … if you have to ask and question and analyze … if you’re always making excuses or always trying to find evidence of how he feels .. then you already know how he feels, you just don’t want to admit it.
In this case, the best thing you can do is move on. There is no point in degrading yourself trying to win him over and get him to like you. Just accept that not everyone is a match and that’s OK. It doesn’t make you bad or flawed or unworthy or love. It just means you and him weren’t the right fit. Instead of seeing this as a loss, see it as a win. You’re now free to find someone who is better suited for you!
In Summary…Here are the real reasons a man runs hot and cold:
- Something outside of the relationship is taking his attention.
- He’s settling into a more normal routine and doesn’t feel the need to pursue you as aggressively.
- He doesn’t like you enough or is unsure of how he feels about you.
You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self
Narcissism goes beyond just self-absorption and vanity: it can escalate into cruelty, vindictive obsession, long-lasting deception, and covert sabotage. As we know from research, narcissism can include a serious lack of empathy, an excessive sense of entitlement, malicious envy, and aggressive behavior. Psychopathy takes it one step further with a lack of remorse, sadistic violence, and criminal behaviors. Narcissists and psychopaths often use manipulation tactics such as gaslighting to distort the reality and perception of their victims. In this article, we’ll look at some of the best movies, television shows, and books that depict narcissism and gaslighting in powerful ways that victims of abuse resonate with.
The first half of the list focuses on gaslighting movies. Click here to jump to television shows and here to jump to books.
Movies What Lies BeneathStarring Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer, this supernatural thriller takes us on an eerie emotional rollercoaster down to the depths of truth. Claire and her husband Norman discover what appears to be a spirit haunting their house – a haunting that has the power to expose much deeper and darker secrets about Claire’s husband. What Lies Beneath is beautifully crafted to creatively portray the subtle ways gaslighting can be used to pathologize victims of deception and keep the wool over their eyes. In the film, one victim helps the other come to the truth about what lies beneath the surface through a series of unsettling paranormal events. This is a powerfully moving gesture – even if that help does come from beyond the grave.
Enough One of my favorite movies of all time, Enough is ultimately about strategic survival and learning how to fight back. The main character of the movie is Slim (played by Jennifer Lopez), an abused wife who learns to defeat her narcissistic abuser through self-defense training in Krav Maga. The love bombing and gaslighting tactics her husband uses to “hook” Slim in the beginning, portraying himself as a caring knight in shining armor only to begin abusing her once she’s “trapped” and has a child with him are classic abuse tactics of the malignant narcissist. The depiction of her narcissistic husband as a predator who feels entitled to abuse, betray, and mistreat Slim and “always gets whatever he wants,” even going so far as to stalk and harass her endlessly when she escapes will resonate with many survivors of narcissists and psychopaths.
Gone Girl Gone Girl depicts the brutal tactics of a psychopathic and narcissistic woman who weaponizes the stereotype of the “damsel in distress” to gaslight and punish her husband and the world around her. Amy Dunne weaponizes pity ploys and fakes her own murder (eventually kidnapping) to evoke sympathy in the masses while placing the spotlight of the blame on her husband. This is a carefully constructed plot that she orchestrates after she discovers her husband’s affair with a student. We learn in the movie just how far a psychopathic person will go to get revenge and regain power and control, and moreover, we also see how chameleon-like they are, shifting into different roles and identities to meet their agendas. Although many have rightfully identified Amy as a psychopathic female narcissist, there are many ways to interpret this hit movie. It is clear her misogynistic husband exhibits some garden-variety narcissistic traits and qualities – although he is way out of his league when it comes to his calculated wife. This is the quintessential movie you want to watch if you ever wanted an answer to the question, “What happens when a psychopath encounters a narcissist in the never-ending mind games of a toxic marriage?”
The Girl on The Train Rachel Watson is a recently divorced woman who spends her days drinking and riding the train. She begins observing the life of a seemingly happy couple, living next door to her ex-husband and his new wife. One day, she witnesses something startling in this seemingly idyllic relationship that causes her to later become a part of a homicide investigation that unravels her life and the truth about what really happened in her marriage. Spoiler alert: what she discovers is that her husband has continually attempted to undermine her sense of reality and has caused her to doubt her memories of key events. The Girl on The Train is a terrific psychological thriller that covers many of the key elements of gaslighting – including the role that substance abuse coercion can play in the realm of domestic violence.
The Girl Who Escaped: The Kara Robinson StoryAnother phenomenal survival thriller, The Girl Who Escaped is based on the real-life kidnapping of Kara Robinson. The kidnapper exhibits many of the characteristics of malignant narcissism and psychopathy – including a grandiose sense of self, paranoia, sadistic violence, and a disturbing sense of entitlement. Fortunately, this film also captures the bravery and resilience of the survivor, Kara, which makes it an inspirational albeit disturbing tale of how a survivor strategically escapes a man without conscience – and lives to tell the tale.
Sleeping with The Enemy Sleeping with The Enemy is a classic depiction of narcissistic and psychopathic abuse starring Julia Roberts. The main character, Laura, fakes her own death to escape a possessive and controlling man named Martin. Martin polices Laura’s actions to isolate her from the world and abuses her when he perceives that she has captured the attention of other men, like their neighbor. Like any other narcissist, he often feigns remorse and buys her flowers after incidents of abuse to keep her in the relationship. When Laura has finally escaped and finds herself in a loving relationship with a new man, Martin continues to stalk them both. Sleeping with the Enemy is an accurate portrayal of the horrors involved when a malignant narcissist just won’t let go.
Her Worst NightmareDakota is a survivor of kidnapping who experiences trauma symptoms a year post-escape. In Her Worst Nightmare, you follow Dakota’s journey as she is stalked by an unknown predator while in college, studying psychology and enrolled in a course called “Advanced Psychology of Trauma.” Unbeknownst to Dakota, her stalker is closer to her than she thinks and has been gaslighting her the entire time. Her Worst Nightmare provides an enlightening illustration of how trauma can live on long past the traumatic event in symptoms such as hypervigilance, avoidance, and susceptibility to re-traumatization. It also highlights narcissism in the various predatory characters that Dakota comes into contact with – from her kidnapper to her boundary-trespassing professor Dr. Campbell – to the young man eventually revealed to be her stalker.
The Ones Below A haunting film that perverts what should be the joys of motherhood, The Ones Below documents the harrowing tale of a young couple expecting a child. Their downstairs neighbors, a mysterious couple also expecting a child, face a horrific tragedy that unravels a series of terrifying schemes. Throughout the movie, the viewer is led to question the main protagonist’s perception of events as she is continually gaslit by the people around her. You also get a frightening and rare glimpse of what a partnership of two narcissistic individuals working together looks like. The Ones Below will keep you on the edge of your seat questioning what is real and what isn’t.
Hard CandyNot for the faint of heart, Hard Candy is what some wished the movie Promising Young Woman could’ve been – a hard-hitting, gory vigilante film that shows no mercy to either the predator in the film or its viewers. Starring Elliot Page as the adolescent Haley, who serves as a kind of karmic Little Red Riding Hood to the pedophilic predatory wolf in sheep’s clothing Jeff, Hard Candy is an enthralling movie that captures what occurs when the roles of victim and perpetrator get reversed and the victim takes on the role of the one in power. As Jeff tries out every pity ploy and rationalizing sob story in the book to gaslight Hayley about his true nature, viewers get a glimpse of what it looks like when an enlightened victim takes on a psychopath and is ruthless in how she dishes out what she perceives to be justice.
The Talented Mr. Ripley The talented Mr. Ripley is ultimately a dysfunctional “love” story about a chameleon-like psychopath named Tom Ripley who develops a dangerous obsession with his friend, Dickie. If you want similar films that explore this theme, also be sure to check out movies such as Single White Female or The Roommate. As Tom Ripley takes on the fake identity of Dickie’s former classmate in Princeton, he inserts himself into Dickie’s wealthy lifestyle, eventually resulting in disastrous consequences when his love for Dickie is unrequited. A man on the run, Tom Ripley resorts to desperate, narcissistic measures to maintain his new lavish lifestyle, even going so far as to impersonate Dickie and gaslight those around him to prevent himself from being caught. This film accurately portrays the extremely obsessive “love” of a psychopath and how they view their objects of infatuation as just that – possessions to be obtained and disposed of when no longer useful to them.
FearFear is an oldie but a goodie – a psychological thriller about 16-year-old Nicole (played by Reese Witherspoon) who becomes ensnared in the abusive charm of a much older narcissistic psychopath named David (played by Mark Wahlberg). As her family tries to protect her from David, Nicole becomes more entrenched in an abusive relationship with David, who develops a fixation on Nicole as she finally ends the relationship. The movie escalates into a fight for survival as David and his friends plot revenge and stage a home invasion. Fear highlights how psychopathic predators ingratiate themselves with their victims while isolating them from their loved ones. It highlights the consequences of getting involved with a manipulator who eventually takes over your entire life.
TV ShowsTell Me Your SecretsOne of the best thrillers depicting narcissists, psychopaths, and gaslighting is the television show Tell Me Your Secrets. Not only does the show masterfully depict psychopathic traits across multiple predatory characters with chilling accuracy and follows a kind of ongoing war among them (think Fight Club but for manipulative psychopaths), it has one of the most mind-boggling plot twist endings, exposing that covert wolves in sheep’s clothing can come in many forms. The show, starring Lily Rabe and Hamish Linklater, skillfully creates suspense as we follow the journey of three characters who are all connected to a dangerous serial killer. Karen Miller is the ex-partner of notorious serial killer Kit Parker. Due to the traumas she’s experienced, Karen suffers from large gaps in her memory which makes her unable to discern how involved she was in Kit’s murders of various women – although she begins to get gradual flashbacks of the night of one of the murders. The erosion of her memory and identity and her confusion post-trauma will be relatable to many survivors of gaslighting. Kit and Karen’s “love story” also resonates with partners of narcissists and psychopaths as it illustrates the struggle between reconciling a psychopath’s false mask and fairytale romance with the ruthless reality of their true nature.
Karen is placed into witness protection with her new alias “Emma” under the supervision of a mysterious psychiatrist, Pete, after her release from jail. Viewers are unclear about how involved Karen is in Parker’s killings, and we are led to believe that she may have been a co-conspirator in the murders – something that the world also believes, labeling her “Killer Miller.” Mary Barlow is the mother of one of the possible victims, Theresa, and will do anything to discover the truth about her daughter’s disappearance. Throughout the show, Karen is being hunted down by John, a convicted rapist hired by Mary to find out information about her daughter. Yet the most vicious predators of this show are unlikely to be guessed until the very end, and this thriller reminds us that some of the worst monsters are not the ones who are readily identified but rather are the ones who hide in plain sight.
Dirty JohnDirty John is a true crime series based on the real-life con artistry of narcissistic manipulator John Michael Meehan. In this show, John pretends to be an anesthesiologist as he love-bombs and gaslights successful businesswoman Debra Newell into a fantasy relationship to exploit her for financial gain. Dirty John showcases the extent to which narcissistic psychopaths can lead double lives and hook their victims through love bombing, all while targeting the vulnerabilities of their victims for their own gain. It also depicts the strength of the trauma bonds victims tend to develop with their perpetrators, leading to denial and avoidance of the red flags.
Tinder SwindlerSimilar to Dirty John, the Tinder Swindler is another exposé of a conman by the name of Simon Leviev who financially scammed his targets through the dating app Tinder. Pretending to be the son of a diamond mogul, Simon charms and love bombs his victims with lavish dinners and gifts, only to then pretend that his “enemies are after him” in order to get “loans” from his dating partners – loans he never plans to pay back.
Big Little LiesThrough the relationship of characters Perry and Celeste, the show Big Little Lies captures the secrecy of an abusive relationship and the subconscious coping methods the victim often engages in to survive such a toxic relationship. The scenes of Perry and Celeste at couple’s therapy with their therapist Dr. Reisman are some of the most illustrative scenes of gaslighting ever to hit the screen.
Love is BlindPerhaps there is no better opportunity to catch narcissistic traits and behaviors in the wild than there is on the reality television show Love is Blind – an experiment where two people “date” and communicate with one another in isolation without ever seeing each other’s faces until they decide to get married. Spanning four seasons, the show is chock full of examples of narcissistic manipulative tactics like jealousy induction (deliberately provoking jealousy to maintain power and control over others), ego-fueled rage attacks, love bombing, and even partner poaching. While we won’t name any names, Season 4 in particular was rampant with the behaviors associated with female narcissists, specifically, the covert sabotage of other relationships and exhibiting sadistic glee at the pain of others. If you enjoyed Love is Blind, Married at First Sight, Catfish, The Bachelor, and 90-Day Fiancé are other similar reality television shows about deception and narcissistic behaviors I would recommend.
Law and Order, SVUA favorite of many survivors of narcissists, Law and Order: SVU is bursting with episodes featuring narcissists, psychopaths, and gaslighting – 23 seasons worth, in fact. This is one of the few shows where victims often get justice and perpetrators get held accountable. Many fans find comfort in empathic detective Olivia Benson reminding many victims it was not their fault, as well as in the show’s resident psychologist, Dr. George Huang, skillfully diagnosing the perpetrators as narcissists and psychopaths. Some notable episodes exploring malignant narcissism and gaslighting include: Born Psychopath and its sequel Post-Graduate Psychopath, Behave, Motherly Love, Annihilated, Doubt, and Surrender Benson.
Criminal MindsIf you want to play “spot the psychopath,” no better show allows you to do so than Criminal Minds. A crime drama that follows the FBI profilers of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, the show masterfully examines the personalities and motives of serial predators who commit horrific crimes. Other similar and highly recommended crime-focused dramas that feature psychopathic and narcissistic personalities include: Dexter, Succession, Alias, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, Veronica Mars and Breaking Bad.
Fictional BooksA Flicker in the DarkA Flicker in the Dark by Stacy Willingham appears to explore the question, “What if your father was a serial killer?” But not everything is what it seems – and the truth is much more complicated and terrifying. Following psychologist Chloe Davis twenty years after her father was imprisoned for the murders of six missing teenage girls, Chloe begins to lose her grasp on reality when her past comes back to haunt her in the form of another missing girl. This time, however, she learns the truth of what actually happened twenty years ago. A Flicker in the Dark is an exquisite mystery thriller that will leave you guessing who the true “monsters” are and reminds you of the convincing masks people wear to gaslight and dupe others.
Unmissing Unmissing by Minka Kent is a shocking thriller that will keep you off-balance through the multiple perspectives of the characters. When Merritt and Luca receive an unexpected visitor at their coastal home late at night, they are surprised to see Luca’s first wife Lydia who went missing ten years ago. Yet both Luca and Lydia have secrets and the true “gaslighter” and perpetrator in this book is not so easy to spot. Kent’s other book, The Silent Woman is another book I would recommend which also portrays a skilled gaslighter and a twisted “love” triangle.
Edge of CollapseEdge of Collapse by Kyla Stone is a beautifully written apocalyptic survival thriller that explores what an apocalyptic world looks like for someone who’s already been imprisoned by a psychopathic predator for the last five years. For the main character, the world essentially ending is what finally grants her the door to freedom. On her journey, she encounters another survivor who helps her find shelter. At the heart of it all, this book is about possibility, love, and resilience after abuse.
Verity Verity by Colleen Hoover is the quintessential “gaslighting” novel. When writer Lowen Ashleigh gets assigned an offer by seeming “nice guy” Jeremy Crawford to complete his wife Verity’s book, she encounters an unfinished autobiography that appears to reveal bone-chilling secrets about Verity and her marriage to Jeremy. This book exposes the devastating consequences that can occur when you rely on possible misinformation to dictate your actions and explores the idea of “two truths” – you must choose to live in one version of reality or the other, but they cannot be true simultaneously. You will be “gaslit” by the book itself as its ending will leave you questioning everything you already read.
My Sweet VanessaMy Sweet Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell is a book that skillfully illustrates how narcissistic predators can prey on the vulnerable and gaslight them into believing that their love together is special, unique, and morally sound to keep them invested in the relationship. Fifteen-year-old Vanessa is the victim of her English teacher Jacob Strane, who lures her into a sexually exploitative relationship that spans for years. The novel shifts between past and present, showcasing how Vanessa processes her experiences with Strane years later as other victims of Strane come forward and she shares her own story with the world. Vanessa begins to identify how Strane manipulated and gaslighted her, using her vulnerabilities and inexperience against her to get what he wanted, leaving a devastating impact that affected her well into adulthood. This process of heartbreaking “discovery” and resolving cognitive dissonance will be all too familiar to survivors of narcissists and psychopaths who often experience emotional whiplash as they uncover the truth.
The Big PictureThese books, movies and television shows serve as a powerful and tragic reminder of the price victims inevitably pay when they’re swept up into the twisted love story with a narcissist that is really not a love story after all – it’s a nightmare they have to slowly wake up from. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath, it’s important to seek help. You may want to process your traumas with a validating mental health professional on your journey to healing, and check out my book, Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse for more insights and information.
LEO (7/23 – 8/22)Your new life chapter comes in the form of a person, Leo. There is someone you will cross paths with who could really use a person like you right at this very moment. You’re no stranger to a pet project, but you need to keep your eyes open. This person won’t be comfortable just walking up and approaching you. You may appear intimidating, inaccessible, or simply be an unknown stranger. But there is some connection between you two and the timing this year as spring approaches. You will feel a calling to help nurture this person in some way that you are specifically positioned to do. They may be in need of a friend, a mentor, a companion, someone who makes them feel seen and less alone. Be open to the opportunity to make a difference instead of so engrossed in your usual haunts and cronies. The seed you plant and nurture this month has the potential to become a tree you lean on in the future.
VIRGO (8/23 – 9/22)Virgo, your new life chapter is about hard work. That may not feel very new to you at all, but it’s the endeavor in question that represents a clear break from the past. Whatever door recently closed for you, your go-getter attitude has already opened a new one, and this chapter is about giving whatever was behind it your full commitment. If you recently ended a relationship, it’s time to fully embrace singledom for an extended period of time. If you just left a job, allow yourself time to find a move that feels like a true fit or invest in that independent venture you’ve always dreamed of. If you’ve been in need of a new hobby, set your sights on something that is a true challenge. Whatever the particulars, the theme here is that this chapter will be long, and it will be hard. Just know that everything that’s come before has prepared you for this moment, and embrace the opportunity as a chance to prove to yourself exactly what you’re made of.
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20)Your new life chapter is one of observation and learning from others. Sometimes you feel so much pressure to do, to be, to change that you jump on any bandwagon as long as it’s moving, without giving much thought as to whether you want to end up where it’s headed. This May you will start looking around you for mentors, examples, and points of reference when it comes to figuring out exactly what it is you want from life. You may look towards couples with and without children to get a better feel for whether you want to be a parent one day. You may admire acquaintances who made career pivots during the economic shifts that came along with the pandemic. You may simply eavesdrop on the other patrons frequenting your favorite café and overhear a point of view that brings new clarity into your own life. The point of this chapter is not to compare or contrast yourself with others but to open your mind to the vast realm of possibilities you have the opportunity to steer your life towards with intention and purpose.
CAPRICORN (12/22 – 1/19)Oh, Capricorn, you are about to get hit by a metaphorical bus in this next life chapter. I could pretend to feel sorry for you, but I know your world is going to get rocked in exactly the way it needs right now. You are going to fall head over heels in love, and it will take you by complete surprise. There’s no guarantee the object of your affection will be another person, although that is well within the realm of possibility. It could be a place, a new job, a hobby, or something as simple as a music album, but whatever it is is going to fill your life with a revitalizing energy. You will derive a newfound confidence from the experience, one that provides you with a positive outlook on life and your ability to tackle the obstacles before you. Sometimes all you need is something or someone to pour your energy into to be reminded how much happiness can be found in the simplicity of making an effort. This chapter is about enjoying every second of that energy well spent.
Looking for a scary weekend binge this spring? We’ve got you covered. Here’s a comprehensive list of the hottest shows and movies streaming this weekend across various platforms, ensuring that you’ll have plenty of options to choose from.
Scream VI (2023)Now streaming on Paramount+, experience the chilling sixth chapter in the Scream saga, as the tenacious “core four” survivors of the harrowing Woodsboro massacre attempt to rebuild their lives in the bustling metropolis of New York City. However, a sinister new Ghostface soon emerges, unleashing a ruthless and blood-soaked rampage that solidifies Scream VI as one of the franchise’s most brutal and unrelenting entries. Once you’ve braved the thrilling terror of Scream VI, explore our extensive list of captivating horror films, exclusively streaming on Paramount+.
Bury the Bride (2023)Now available on Tubi, immerse yourself in a spine-chilling horror film where a seemingly innocent bachelorette party, led by the captivating Scout Taylor-Compton, takes a terrifying turn as the celebration is unexpectedly infiltrated by her relentless and bloodthirsty groom-to-be. Don’t miss this suspenseful and heart-pounding experience, guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Clock (2023)Now available exclusively on Hulu, audiences can delve into a gripping and thought-provoking horror-thriller that explores the societal pressures and personal struggles faced by a woman driven to desperation in her pursuit to address her ticking biological clock.
From Black (2023)Now streaming on Shudder, catch Anna Camp in a gripping horror psychological thriller as she portrays a recovering addict on a desperate quest to uncover the truth about her missing son. Faced with a bizarre and ominous opportunity to learn his fate, she must grapple with the steep price it demands.
Carnifex (2022)Now streaming on Tubi, dive into a thrilling sci-fi horror adventure set in the remote Australian Outback. Follow a daring trio of researchers as they study the region’s wildlife, only to stumble upon a terrifying new species that’ll leave both them and the audience breathless.
There’s a trend in queer films. They call it the Bury Your Gays trope. While a movie (or book, or show, because we can never have nice things) might have a gay romance or a coming-out story, it will ultimately end in tragedy. It might be a literal death or just utter world-ending sadness. So many queer stories are tragic that it’s rare to find something with a happy ending, and that’s certainly the case for trans stories.
With the absolute shambles that the trans American experience is in right now, from a Montana trans representative barred from speaking in the house to gender-affirming care ban in Tennessee, and much more, things aren’t feeling very welcoming to say the least. While I can’t solve any of that with a single article, I can at least give you a list of some uplifting trans movies you can stream right now. The following films feature a range of trans experiences. While they don’t always end with the couple staying together, they’ll at least leave you feeling warm and fuzzy as the credits roll.
Different for Girls (1996)First Look InternationalPaul crashes his motorcycle right into Kim–and he swears he knows her from somewhere. When he realizes Kim’s his old friend from school, now a woman, he can’t get her out of his head. Did this age well? Not necessarily. Keep in mind, this came out in 1996 when a lot of the language we use today to describe the trans experience didn’t yet exist. But is it nice to have a classic and often slapstick ’90s romantic comedy with a sweet trans romance? Yes, definitely. Watch Different for Girls on Amazon FreeVee.
Romeos (2011)PRO-FUNLukas, a trans man near the beginning of his journey, tries to figure out how to navigate friendships and romance as the gender he always was inside. How will cis gay man Fabio take it when Lukas reveals that he’s trans? With a name like Romeos, you might worry that it’ll end in tragedy. While this German film certainly has its sad moments, you’ll ultimately feel like, even when things go wrong, life can still have its moments of contentment. Watch Romeos on Vudu.
Boy Meets Girl (2014)Wolfe VideoRicky, a trans woman with a slew of fans from her fashion vlog YouTube channel, falls for a girl for the first time. Francesca is a classic southern belle, but doesn’t mind the attention from Ricky. But what will Ricky’s lifelong best friend, Robby, think of this new relationship? It’s sweet, it’s sappy, and it’s just the kind of rom-com to make you feel like everything will work out just fine. Watch Boy Meets Girl on Prime Video.
Alice Júnior (2019)NetflixYou know all those cute coming of age movies that cis people get? Trans people are finally getting them, too, like with Alice Júnior. It’s time for teen movie trans representation. In this Brazilian film, Alice is just a regular high school student navigating friendships and mean students and her very first kiss. And she just happens to be trans. Watch Alice Júnior on Netflix.
Anything’s Possible (2022)Amazon StudiosFresh from Amazon, Anything’s Possible follows trans teen Kelsa as she has a crush on cute classmate Khal. Does he like her back? And if so, how will he handle all the attention he’d get from dating her? It looks like trans romance is catching up with the rest of the teen film genre, and we’re here for it. Best of all, it’s directed by the wonderful Billy Porter. Watch Anything’s Possible on Prime Video.
Change is daunting. Change is terrifying. Change invites in the unknown. But mostly, change is inevitable. The truth is that, throughout our lives, things are absolutely going to shift and move around and evolve. And while some of these changes are out of our control, there are definitely facets of our existence that are within our power to change for the better. And in her newest release The Pivot Year, author Brianna Wiest wants to help us do just that.
The Pivot Year consists of 365 daily meditations, each one guiding us through the process of becoming who we were always meant to be. However, while The Pivot Year is a new book, Wiest’s mission of self-actualization is nothing new. Over the past decade, Wiest has inspired and challenged us and encouraged us. Wiest’s work has been deeply important in my own life and I know this is true for countless others. Her writing has moved me, called me out, and brought me back together. And I know The Pivot Year will be another cornerstone book for me.
But don’t take my word for it. In her own words, here is author Brianna Wiest on her latest book The Pivot Year, which meditation was most important to her, and why she writes the way she does.
First off, congratulations on the publication of The Pivot Year! Can you give us a brief rundown about what this book is about and how it differentiates itself from your other works?The Pivot Year is different from my other books primarily because it’s a collection of daily meditations. I intend for it to be something you can read bit by bit, to incorporate into a morning practice, or bedtime routine. I want it to be something that feels digestible and easy and not intimidating to approach. I think that no matter how hungry we are for change and inner growth, sometimes it can just be hard to find enough time — and I don’t mean minute for minute, but really the mental space. Everyone is busy. We all have schedules and responsibilities and stressors. I want The Pivot Year to be something that can have a profound and positive impact on you without taking up so much of your day.
For you, which meditation from The Pivot Year has been the most important in your own life?This is a beautiful question and I think I would have to say it’s actually the few paragraphs that I included into the introduction, where I explain that the process of changing your life in the way it needs to be shifted is not one where you more closely align with external expectations, with the kind of person you think would make you more loved or appreciated or seen — but the kind of life that more clearly reflects the truth of who you are inside. The person you really are. The person you want to be. The life that gives you peace. The life that makes you proud. Even if other people don’t understand.
How does someone know when they are in the midst of a pivot period? In other words, how does someone know they’re actually ready to change their life? None of us are ever ready for change, because change is never comfortable. So it’s not something that we will easily choose, even if it’s what we do genuinely want. However, I think what matters is reflecting on the fact that change has an inevitability factory to it. Our inner selves whisper until they scream — and the journey is about learning to hear and honor those whispers, to change when we are feeling nudged, before we are being forced.
Some years are more transformative than others, and a pivot year definitely will be one of the most expansive years of someone’s life. Do you have any advice for someone about to undergo their own pivot period? For example, are there any challenges to be expected? Anything beautiful to look forward to?You are meant to evolve. You are meant to grow. You are meant to change. In the world we live in today, where we are often connected to a collection of every person we’ve ever known throughout all the phases of our lives, it can feel extra difficult to break through all of the layers of expectation and find our inner truth. I want you to remember that not only is this natural and normal, it’s healthy. It’s healthy to grow and experiment and it takes bravery to do so. Most people are content to accept a life that they can deal with, rather than fighting for one they will savor, one they will be proud of at the end of the day. When you begin your pivot period, you’re not just ending one chapter and beginning another. You’re opening yourself to a way of living that has you responding more to the moment you’re in. Adapting in real-time. It’s not about ever arriving at one single goal or objective. It’s about becoming the person you actually want to be, and living as them each day — even when it’s hard. It’s harder to live a life that’s not true. And I think that’s what you need to remember.
When it comes to personal growth, it can feel as though it is a never-ending journey. And, in a way, I think that is because the work of stepping into ourselves is never truly finished. And this can become exhausting, to say the least. With that said, how can The Pivot Year help make our healing and self-actualization journeys more successful and fulfilling?My goal is to make growth feel more like the essence of, and an extension of, being wholly human… rather than a never-ending project to prove yourself as worthy of something you think someone else is withholding from you and might give if your prove yourself enough for it. My goal is to help everyone realize that this life will always present us with challenges, and it’s going to be how we learn to respond to them that determines our outcomes… not whether or not we can avoid them entirely. If we numb ourselves to the discomfort, we begin numbing ourselves to the joy. But that doesn’t mean we need to make our personal growth a constant forward motion. Often, the deepest growth comes from staying still. From learning to pause. From deep rest. From feeling that pinching, stinging hurt — and choosing not to act on it. Growth is as quiet as it is loud. And I hope that’s something The Pivot Year helps everyone to remember.
If you could go back in time at the start of one of your own pivot years, what do you wish you had done differently? And what would you have kept the same?I wish I would have found my courage earlier. Every change I have ever made — beginning relationships and ending them, moving, again and again, altering and adjusting my work-life so that I had time and space for what I actually cared about, who I spent time with and didn’t, what habits and coping mechanisms I allowed into my life and then when I had to draw a line in the sand — it never came out of nowhere. It was always the inevitable end-point of a clear trajectory that I could see at the beginning. I wish I had found the grace and bravery to change course when I knew I needed to. I wish I had wasted less time.
For anyone who has not yet been introduced to you and your work, what would you want them to know about both yourself and your writing? I am not trying to sound self-deprecating here, and I hope that this will come across clearly — I am just a person trying to figure it out. And I want for us to all figure it out together. I write what I have needed to read. What’s helped me and soothed me and moved me forward. And then I offer it up to whoever might need it next. I’m not special in the way that a lot of writers in my genre are. I don’t have any exceptional accolades, other than that I have felt deeply called to write my heart out, and have done it with all the truth and conviction I could muster, and have found the courage to share it, again and again, and I hope that when you read my words, you will realize that from one stranger to another… you really aren’t alone.
Anything else you want the world to know about yourself and The Pivot Year?What I know for sure is that we cannot lose what’s meant for us. When we grow more completely into the people we are meant to be, the things that are meant for us meet us at a deeper and more beautiful place than ever before. Every time I was afraid to make a change, I was scared because I didn’t want to lose love in some way, shape or form. What I didn’t know was that to be loved as a person I wasn’t… is not to be loved at all. It wasn’t until I opened my heart to my own self… that others could meet it there, too.
The Pivot Year is available now on Shop Catalog.
While PTSD occurs from a single traumatic event, Complex PTSD is caused by a series of repeated, prolonged traumas usually originating in childhood and continuing into adulthood. This can create a sense of captivity and an inability to escape the brutality of your adverse life circumstances. Here are six behaviors people don’t realize you may be engaging in because you’re a complex trauma survivor.
(1 & 2) Socially isolating yourself – yet searching for a rescuer. Being hyper-attuned to signals of harm and danger in social interactions and your environment.People who have experienced complex trauma or have Complex PTSD can have very sensitized nervous systems. They are primed from childhood to see danger and hyper-attuned – at times hypervigilant – to the micro-signals of harm. This is why social interactions can be so exhausting and depleting for them: they are always on the lookout to detect signs of deception, manipulation, and aggression due to the numerous betrayals they experienced since childhood. This hyper-attunement can actually work in their favor if they use it to discern more covert manipulators in their midst. Due to their experiences, some complex trauma survivors may have a highly developed radar in spotting discrepancies in someone’s façade versus their true character, or fleeing danger because they recognize subtle signals in their environment others may not identify as readily. Social isolation can be one common coping method for complex PTSD survivors to ensure their nervous system remains grounded and not in constant fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. However, simultaneously, people with CPTSD may search throughout their lives for a “rescuer.” This is usually because they did not feel protected in childhood and seek out someone that they hope makes them feel safe in adulthood.
Unfortunately, searching for a rescuer can often result in retraumatization and revictimization as predatory people seek out those with vulnerabilities to exploit. In addition, sometimes complex trauma survivors can be subconsciously drawn to dangerous situations because they are biochemically and psychologically accustomed to the severe highs and lows of the toxic situations they experienced since childhood. This creates a trauma repetition cycle that can be difficult to halt without intensive treatment and healing.
(3) Dissociating on a daily basis.Complex trauma survivors can feel detached from their own bodies (known as depersonalization) and from their surroundings (known as derealization). This dissociation can be especially powerful if the complex trauma survivor has experienced betrayal trauma, especially in childhood – violations from the very people meant to protect them. Dissociation occurs because their brains have engaged in subconscious, intricate survival mechanisms to protect them from fully experiencing the horror of their traumas. This can mitigate the impact that trauma has on you through altered states of consciousness that provide temporary protection. However, dissociation can also rob complex trauma survivors of making sense and meaning out of their experience, processing it, or creating a coherent narrative around it. You may also experience fatigue, mental fog, spaciness, and losing track of time. As a result of dissociative survival mechanisms, you can also experience gaps in your memory and feel unable to describe your trauma history in detail.
(4) Feeling like you have multiple disparate identities or multiple “self-states.”There is usually a discontinuity in your sense of self if you have experienced complex trauma. Complex trauma survivors often struggle with an uncertain, even fragmented sense of identity. This is no surprise: when you’ve been chronically traumatized, you spend most of your internal resources on surviving these traumas, rather than developing a solid sense of self. You have had to take on many different roles and identities throughout your life in order to cope with the constant stress of navigating an invisible war zone. As a result, you have likely developed different facets of your identity that feel disparate or even contradictory. This can be adaptive and/or maladaptive: you may use these different “self-states” to facilitate your success and remain high-functioning across diverse contexts – yet at the same time you may feel overwhelmed with the different roles you’ve had to take on. For example, you may have a people-pleasing aspect of your identity because you played the role of fawning caretaker in childhood to abusive parents – yet you may also have a defensive “self-state” that fights back aggressively in the event of harm. These different self-states or “versions” of self can present themselves in more extreme ways in various circumstances.
(5) Feeling emotionally dysregulated.Intense anxiety, fear, anger, and despair can be chronic emotions for complex trauma survivors. We know from neuroscience research that complex trauma can affect and create dysregulation in the HPA axis which handles our stress response and can create hyperactivity in the amygdala, the part of our brain that processes and regulates fear. These emotions can occur without warning as triggers from multiple traumas can be pervasive in everyday life. Even complex trauma survivors who suppress the weight of their traumas to remain high-functioning eventually have to confront a trigger that creates emotional overwhelm, collapse, and exhaustion. As a result of these extreme emotions, you may try to avoid anything that triggers you altogether or turn to substance use or other addictions to numb the pain.
(6) Self-harming tendencies. You may engage in self-harming, parasuicidal, or even suicidal behaviors as a complex trauma survivor. Research indicates that those who have more adverse childhood experiences are at an increased risk for suicidality. Complex trauma survivors usually cannot identify a prolonged time of peace and safety in their lives. They may feel like they never had a break from adversity, and as a result, they may expect that life will continue to be overwhelmingly distressful for them and turn to drastic measures to end the pain. Even the most high-functioning complex trauma survivor can feel burdened by the traumas he or she has gone through and feel unable to cope. They may experience heightened self-blame and a ruthless “inner critic” that affects their self-esteem and causes them to develop a sense of learned helplessness.
If you are a complex trauma survivor or are struggling with the effects of Complex PTSD, it is important to seek a mental health professional. If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, please reach out to a professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. You are not alone and help is out there.
Thought Catalog Books is the book publishing house that lives inside the Thought Catalog universe. Founded in 2012, we’re one of the most innovative and fastest-growing small businesses in the book publishing world.
At Thought Catalog Books, we take great pride in publishing our authors and harnessing deep bonds with them. With this author-first approach to book publishing, we have created numerous best-selling print books, audiobooks, and eBooks in over 30 languages.
The official retailer for Thought Catalog Books is our sister site: Shop Catalog. Given many of our books are limited edition, designed with the same care as a coffee table book, Shop Catalog is the best place to buy authenticated, real copies of our books.
While we recommend buying print versions, we also have PDFs available of all Thought Catalog Books or digital versions sold through Apple Books. Below are the best ways to download the PDFs with links to other versions.
PDF: A Gentle Reminder by Bianca SparacinoA digital page from A Gentle Reminder by Instagram poet @rainbowsalt.PDF: You Will Feel Whole Again by Parm K.C.The physical print book of You Will Feel Whole Again.PDF: This Is How You Heal by Brianna WiestA book on recovery and healing from Brianna Wiest.PDF: The Pivot Year by Brianna WiestThe Pivot Year is Brianna Wiest’s newest book, released April 25, 2023.PDF: Moments to Hold Close by Molly BurfordMoments To Hold Close by Molly Burford is a hopeful and funny book.PDF: Come Home To Yourself by Déjà RaeDéjà Rae explores the highs and lows of letting go of past relationships and embracing loneliness as a means to discover oneself.PDF: Somewhere In Between by Kelly PeacockPDF: You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self by Sabrina Alexis BendoryA book about becoming your best self, and finding the right partner.PDF: Daring To Take Up Space by Daniell KoepkeThis is for anyone who needs a reminder that you deserve to take up space in the world and that you are enough.PDF: No Idea What I’m Doing But Fck It by Ron LimFollowing the success of his Instagram account @ronwritings, Ron Lim unleashed his first poetry book, No Idea What I’m Doing But Fck It.
DecemberA December girlfriend is one of the most generous and loyal partners you’ll ever be with. She values honesty above all else, which makes you feel like she is so easy to trust and to be vulnerable with. And not only is she loving and giving, but she has a great sense of humor and can be incredibly light and goofy
OctoberAn October girlfriend has an absolutely contagious warmth about her. Making friends is practically effortlessly for her, and she’s never short of affection or tenderness. And you’ll never get bored of talking to her, because a conversation with her can end up being funny, deep, smart, and silly all at the same time.
JulyA July girlfriend has an irresistible spark about her. She’s open and friendly, and making others feel loved and cared about is a huge priority for her. She’s not one to actively pursue a relationship, but when she finds herself in love with someone, she’s incredibly honest, warm, and thoughtful.
JuneA June girlfriend is full of compassion, and she’ll help you open up emotionally more than you ever have with anyone else. She’s very easy to talk to – both lighthearted and deep without ever being judgmental – and will always be able to pick up on how you’re feeling without you even having to say anything.
https://twitter.com/CatalogAstro/status/1587154504352468992MarchA March girlfriend is a very caring and affectionate partner. She’s brimming over with kindness and will always do everything in her power to cheer you up when she can sense that you’re having a hard time. She can be temperamental when she’s under a lot of stress, but otherwise, she’s always working to maintain a peaceful and calming presence for herself (and for others).
JanuaryA January girlfriend is full of drive and ambition, which can sometimes be great when it comes to her relationships and at other times make things way more complicated. She’ll be a very loyal and perceptive partner, and when she wants to make the relationship work, she’ll absolutely give it her all. But when she’s somewhat uncertain and hesitant about what she’s looking for out of the relationship, she may take that anxiety and panic and channel all of her energy into her work or her outside passions in order to avoid the difficult conversations with you.
NovemberA November girlfriend, when you really get close to her, can be a very loving and rock-solid partner. However, she can also be very closed-off, detached, and stoic out of self-preservation – especially when she doesn’t feel fully emotionally invested or protected. She’s a very active and hardworking person, so if she’s not fully confident in the relationship and in your feelings or her own feelings, she may channel that energy into other projects and passionsin order to keep her heart safe.
MayA May girlfriend is no-doubt a very strong, supportive, and inspiring partner. She’s also very motivated and incredibly hardworking. The challenge in being her partner comes from her tendency to be quick to anger – if you disagree on something or get in a fight, she struggles to talk it out calmly and will have a hard time articulating what’s bothering her without letting her anger get in the way.
AugustAn August girlfriend can be a very romantic and affectionate partner. She’s also very inspiring, due to her natural gift for leadership and magnetism. What makes her a risky partner is that she’s all or nothing – when the relationship is going great, cool. But when it’s not all hearts and roses, she frequently panics and runs away from the problem instead of dealing with it and trusting your bond enough to work through it.
FebruaryA February girlfriend is certainly exciting to be around – a free spirit with a contagious energy. However, she can be very stubborn, especially about love and about admitting when she has feelings for someone. When it comes to showing her love for you, she’s very insecure and hesitant, and always needs you to be the one putting yourself out there first.
SeptemberA September girlfriend is very hard-working and confident in her own individual life, but it can be challenging to be her partner. Although she can be sympathetic one minute, she also drifts into a bad habit of being frequently critical and vocal about your shortcomings while also refusing to admit when she’s at fault in any way.
AprilAn April girlfriend has a strong personality and can be a very fun friend. But when you’re the one in a romantic relationship with her 24/7, it feels a little different. Although there are plenty of positive aspects of her strong personality, it can also get aggressive to the point where it’s her way or the highway. She’s not good at compromising, and is of the mindset that it’s her first and you second – never an even, 50-50 relationship.
The fact is, everyone can be a little toxic some of the time… for other people, it’s a lot of the time. Usually, a person’s greatest strength is a hint of their greatest weakness, so when you’re in a fragile place, that strong trait can crumble into toxicity.
These are the toxic traits each zodiac sign is prone to:
Aries – Impatience.Remember, you are a human being, not a human-doing. Slow down a little, still your mind. I know that’s hard because you are bursting with energy- the constant need to do causes you to be too impatient and you risk missing out on good opportunities. You obviously can’t shut off that revved-up engine that drives you, but practice slowing down daily. Maybe you take a leisurely walk or practice meditating for even a few minutes every day. Enjoy the present moment instead of racing to the next stop.
Taurus – Anger.Your anger usually rests just beneath the surface at a steady simmer… but when things get off track in your life or you feel emotionally destabilized, you’re a loose canon and your anger can come bursting out with roaring intensity leaving destruction in its wake. Focus on managing your mood and staying in a stable place otherwise, you can cause irreparable harm to those around you.
Gemini- Untrustworthy.Your flighty and indecisive nature makes it hard for people to truly trust you… it’s hard to know if you’ll show up if you genuinely do want to commit, if your feelings are real … and that’s because you don’t always know yourself. You are flexible, which is. strength, but when left unchecked your flexibility comes across as a lack of stability. You are also notoriously two-faced making it difficult to anyone to really trust you and your intentions. Focus on practicing empathy and putting yourself in other people’s shoes more often so you see how your behavior can sometimes hurt others.
Cancer – Holding grudges.Haven’t you heard holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head? Your sensitivity is your strength but can also be a weakness, you may forgive but you never forget and you carry this pain with you through life and it has a detrimental effect on you and your relationships. Practice compassion and forgiveness so you don’t get consumed with the anger inside you.
Leo – Vain.When you’re in a good place, you have a healthy dose of self-esteem. You want to be seen and admired and know you are worth admiration. But when you lose that sense of worth, you become excessively dependent on others for validation and a sense of self and this is toxic and exhausting for those in your orbit. It causes you to interact with others as objects, they are just a means to feel good about yourself. It’s ok to crave compliments and attention, but it’s important to work on building up your sense of worth from within. This will also help you form deeper, more meaningful connections.
Virgo – Judgemental.You’re too hard on people, but really it’s because you’re too hard on yourself. You don’t usually have bad intentions, but it makes people on the receiving end feel terrible because no one likes to be picked apart. When you’re in a good place, you are usually more tactful with your feedback of others but when you’re not in a good place… you can be cruel and hurtful. It’s all just a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself and expecting perfection from yourself and others.
Libra – Self-absorbed.You are fascinating and no one is more charming than you so people can’t help but be magnetized by you, but sometimes you risk being a little too into yourself. When things don’t go your way it can feel like the world is ending. You also get swept away in your own experience, you sometimes fall in love with the idea of love more than the actual person which can leave a trail of broken hearts in your wake.
Scorpio – Vengeful.You can be loyal to a fault to those closest to you, but if someone betrays you… they better watch their back! You don’t take being wronged lightly and will go to whatever lengths to exact your revenge. Sometimes your wrath isn’t warranted and stems from your insecurities and feeling jealous of others. Work on getting to a healthy place internally so you don’t feel a need to cut others down.
Sagittarius – Guarded.While you are fun and the life of the party, you also guard your heart a little too closely. You love the idea of love but it also terrifies you so you keep it at a distance, you keep going and going from one destination to the next afraid of being tied down but also afraid of not being tied down. You are a fearless explorer, so channel some of that into your emotional life and be more fearless about letting your guard down and showing vulnerability.
Capricorn – Exploitive.You are the most driven of all the signs, when you put your mind to something you go for it with all you have. But your need to succeed can cause you to use other people as objects, as pawns needed to get where you want to go. Don’t let your drive strip you of your humanity.
Aquarius – Callous.Your aloofness is part of your charm, it makes others curious about you, but if you go too far with it, you just won’t be able to form any genuine connections and this will cause you to feel like even more of an outcast than you already do. Practice empathizing with those around you, let them in, let yourself feel a little bit.
Pisces – Playing the victim.You are highly sensitive and struggle to manage your emotions. When things go wrong, you can’t help but sometimes sensationalize things and feel like you are the victim… and no one likes a perpetual victim. Try to channel your inner warrior instead so you don’t feel so jaded by the world.
You love your dad. You appreciate your dad. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to laugh at your dad or even laugh at jokes your dad might laugh at.
With this in mind, we have compiled a list of the best dad memes to help you celebrate this weekend in April and pay tribute to the man who has always been there for you, through thick and thin. So, get ready to chuckle, giggle, and share these memes with the one who raised you, because after all, the only thing better than laughing at your parents is laughing with them.
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Joaquin Ramirez ホアキン (@joaquin_ramirez_7)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Jen Norman (@j_marie629)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Erin | Working Mom Blogger (@themommingworker)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by @repliers.son
5.https://www.instagram.com/p/BlhiHvIFL2M/?tagged=dadmemes
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by ⸔ʍҽʍҽr⸕ (@honeywhereismymemes)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Dad Merch ☕️ (@dad.merch)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Mia and Lana (@irlylikebread)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Tushar D (@snotflicks)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by WiaouTheWoman (@wiaouthewoman)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Spammmmmm (@aqua.skeetlz)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Orange Monkey Eagle Dead (@orangemonkeyeagledead)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by 🔥Memes📲Social Game App👉bio 🔵 (@icebreaker_memes)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by meme sugar daddy (@memelord_7478)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by @x69superminer69x
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Cassi 🌸 (@cassiblossom)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Dad #1 (@dads_r_us_1)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Zak Meratla (@mack_zeratla)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Meme Lord (@imslippery)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Yuzu Lakewood (@yuzulakewood)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by Weird Alien Kid (@weirdalienkid)
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View this post on InstagramA post shared by brudicatmemes (@brudicatmemes)
Firstborn As a firstborn child, they have always had a strong sense of responsibility and leadership. This innate drive for success may delay their search for a soulmate, as they first need to establish a strong foundation in their career and personal life. The likely age to meet their soulmate is between 33 and 37, when they have gained experience and wisdom to make thoughtful choices in your relationships. Middle ChildMiddle children have a unique position in the family, as they’re often the peacemakers and negotiators. Their ability to empathize and adapt makes them excellent partners. For middle children, the soulmate search may be filled with a series of meaningful relationships, ultimately leading them to their true love. The most likely age for middle children to meet their soulmate is between 32 and 36, when they’ve discovered a balance between their personal and relationship needs. YoungestThe youngest siblings often have a carefree, adventurous spirit that makes them open to new experiences, including love. They’re likely to meet their soulmates when they’re least expecting it, often during a period of personal exploration and growth. For last-borns, the ideal age to meet their soulmate ranges from 20 to 25, as they’re more willing to embrace spontaneity and take risks in love. Only ChildOnly children, accustomed to solitude and independence, may take longer to find their soulmate, as they carefully evaluate their relationships. The ideal age for only children to find their soulmate is between 28 and 32, when they have reached a level of emotional maturity that allows them to foster a deep and lasting connection. TwinsTwins share a unique bond, which can influence their romantic lives in intriguing ways. Identical twins may feel a strong connection to their sibling, seeking a partner who complements their twin’s personality. Non-identical twins, on the other hand, may be attracted to partners who offer a sense of individuality and contrast. The ideal age for twins to meet their soulmate is between 23 and 28, as they navigate the balance between their close sibling relationship and their desire for a romantic partner.
Have you caught the new show on Hulu, Tiny Beautiful Things? It’s based off the book by Cheryl Strayed (author of Wild, which was also made into a movie in 2014.) While the book is a series of advice columns Strayed wrote for “Dear Sugar,” the show follows a fictionalized version of the story as a woman named Clare decides to take over the “Dear Sugar” column from her colleague. Clare is played by the wonderful Kathryn Hahn (Parks & Recreation, WandaVision), who seriously elevates everything she’s in. It’s all about the trials and tribulations of being an adult fuck-up, and how easy it is for us to fall into a pit of despair. But when you focus on the tiny beautiful things? That’s the way to crawl out, to remember how great life can really be.
Even if you’re having a rough time, even if you’re only at the beginning of your self-help journey, even when you’re struggling just to get by each day, look back at these tiny beautiful things that provide shiny little lights in an otherwise dreary existence:
- Long night drives in the middle of nowhere.
- Laying on your floor, listening to the song that speaks to you, on repeat.
- Wrapping yourself in a blanket that’s hot out of the dryer.
- The long hug from a friend you haven’t seen in forever.
- The smile and hello from a stranger that sticks with you all day.
- The little bits of stress you let go when you get your hair washed at the salon.
- Sipping tea or coffee that’s at the exact right temperature.
- The moment they first say “I love you.”
- The moment you first say “I love you” back.
- Your skin warming under the sun for the first time after a long winter.
- Staying up late to finish a really good book, not caring that you have to be up soon.
- Finding out you have something niche in common with a new friend.
- The moment you realize you’ve come out the other side from a bad situation.
- Jumping in puddles in the rain like a kid again.
- The first time your pet climbed up on your lap and snuggled with you.
- When you got a compliment on the outfit you felt self-conscious about.
- When you stopped to admire the way the light filtered through the trees.
- Eating cereal for dinner as soon as you became an adult and could do whatever you want.
- The smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen.
- Talking for hours and only realizing it when the restaurant starts to close.
- Laughing so much that your sides hurt.
- Finding joy in someone’s dimples, their freckles, their imperfections.
- When they said, “I understand.”
- When they said, “It’s okay.”
- When you believed them.
Check out Tiny Beautiful Things on Hulu.
The odds are good that if you’re a fan of movies in general, you’ve likely come across at least one Rachel Weisz movie and absolutely loved it. Whether it was the classic Brendan Fraser action-adventure The Mummy or the heartbreaking lesbian romance of Disobedience, you’re already likely a Weisz fan. With her new dual role as the Mantle Twins in the upcoming Amazon Prime series Dead Ringers (episodes debuting April 21, 2023) it’d be fun to see just which Rachel Weisz character speaks to your essence. Look for your zodiac sign below to find out if you’re a Beverly Mantle or an Evelyn Carnahan.
AriesUniversal PicturesYou are Summer Hartley from Definitely, Maybe (2008).You’re the one who makes rash decisions, goes for what they want, and is down to date a guy who might not be the right match–but only until it becomes boring. You act first and think later. While Summer Hartley might seem like an exciting person to date, her drive, ambition, and subtle Manic Pixie Dream Girl energy spells eventual romantic doom for Ryan Reynold’s character. After all, it only takes a special someone to get an Aries to finally settle down.
TaurusWalt Disney StudiosYou are Melina from Black Widow (2021)You are always down to fight–hence the bull as Taurus’s animal–especially when it comes to the people you care about. But there’s always that pull to just enjoy home life and settle down. For matriarch and total badass Melina, she won’t hesitate to fight for her chosen daughters, even if it means setting aside her own safety.
GeminiAmazon StudiosYou are the Mantle Twins from Dead Ringers (2023).Okay, we’re getting a little literal here, giving the twins of upcoming Dead Ringers to Gemini, the twins of the zodiac. In addition to being literal twins, The Mantles have some serious chaotic energy that speaks to the soul of a Gemini. If nothing else, people are always in for a surprise when it comes to you. You could never be accused of being boring, that’s for sure.
CancerWarner Bros. PicturesYou are Izzy from The Fountain (2006).There’s something so romantic about the idea of a love that spans eons and multiple reincarnations. In The Fountain, Rachel Weisz play three different versions of Izzy, all of whom spend their lives accepting the full breadth and emotional chokehold that love has on their entire beings. And that’s all you really want, Cancer–a love that transcends everything.
LeoBleecker StreetYour are Ronit Krushka from Disobedience (2017).You’d like to see your life more as an epic drama than a standard, boring life. Something you could write a movie about. That’s why you’re Ronit from Disobedience, a woman who wants to throw away her entire role in her community and family to be with the woman she loves. Now if that isn’t dramatic–and heartbreaking–I don’t know what is.
VirgoUniversal PicturesYou are Evelyn Carnahan from The Mummy (1999).You’re smart, organized, and don’t mind getting a little dirty to check off some things on your to-do list. You’re just like Evelyn Carnahan in The Mummy–a smarty-pants librarian/Egyptologist who doesn’t shy away from adventure when it finds her. Now if only you could find your Brendan Fraser to help you get out of your shell a little.
LibraWarner Bros. PicturesYou are Angela Dodson from Constantine (2005).The Mantle Twins from Dead Ringers aren’t the only twins Rachel Weisz has played. In Constantine, she plays Angela Dodson, a detective who’s not afraid to pair up with an admittedly hot occultist played by Keanu Reeves to help solve her twin sister’s suicide. For you, you’ll do anything for your family, and don’t mind falling love with emotionally available people along the way.
ScorpioUniversal PicturesYou are Evelyn O’Connell from The Mummy Returns (2001).In the transition from the first Mummy movie to its sequel, Evelyn O’Connell is now married with a son. You thought she was a badass before? Now this smarty uses her love for her family to ascend to an entirely new level of badassery. This is your dark side put to film, Scorpio. You might not want to fight, but if given enough motivation, you’ll go absolutely feral.
SagittariusUniversal PicturesYou are Petula from Beautiful Creatures (2000)You’re known for being adventurous, but sometimes the adventure finds you whether you want it or not. For Petula, one argument with her lover starts a domino effect of intrigue, mystery, and running from the law. Considering the wild stories you have to tell about your own life, this doesn’t feel far off from some of your own tales.
CapricornFox Searchlight PicturesYou are Lady Sarah from The Favourite (2018).You’re a hard worker who isn’t afraid to use a tiny bit of manipulation to get what you want. At least, that’s the kind of character that speaks to you, like Lady Sarah from The Favourite. In this period piece, Rachel Weisz plays real-life companion to the Queen. She works her magic both behind the scenes and in front of the entire monarchy to get what she wants–something admirable in your eyes.
AquariusUnited International PicturesYou are Tessa Quayle from The Constant Gardener (2005).You have an almost single-minded focus when it comes to the things you care about–and you’d do just about anything to do the right thing. In The Constant Gardener, Tessa Quayle realizes that a pharmaceutical company is lying about the safety of one of their drugs, but puts herself at risk to hopefully make others see the truth. It’s a calling you’d totally admire.
PiscesA24You are the Short-Sighted Woman from The Lobster (2015).In a society where single people get turned into the animal of their choice if they don’t couple-up, the Short-Sighted Woman helps a resistance group known as The Loners to help stop them. She quickly falls in love with David based purely on the fact that they’re both short-sighted. Leave it up to you, Pisces, to find love even in a dystopian world where real love might not actually exist.
I first stumbled across Ella Cerón’s writing in college. Cerón was one of the OG staff writers at Thought Catalog, and the one whose work resonated with me the most. Every time I saw Cerón published a new piece, I hurriedly clicked on the article to read it.
While I loved all of Cerón’s work, there is one piece she wrote that I never forgot called “Perfect Isn’t Interesting, Anyway.” In the essay, Cerón posits that perfection isn’t what makes someone compelling or worth loving:
“In retrospect, being perfect seems awfully lonely. And it’s tedious. There are, I think, far more compelling ways to spend your time than to second-guess everything you’re going to do and wear and eat and say. And someone will love you for all the flaws you expose, anyway.”
It was this piece that opened the door to my self-love journey and also helped me find the encouragement to finally end my own pursuit of perfection.
Learning to love myself despite by flaws has been a difficult road to travel but a worthy one, and I still have a ways to go. Luckily for me, though, Cerón is back with a debut YA novel called Viva Lola Espinoza. And if you too have ever believed you had to be perfect in order to be loved, in order to be interesting, and in order to live, Viva Lola Espinoza is the book for you.
After receiving an unexpected C in her Spanish class, Lola Espinoza’s parents send her to stay with her grandmother in Mexico City for the summer so she can learn Spanish before she comes back home for her senior year of high school.
When she arrives in Mexico City and starts working at her cousin’s restaurant, she meets the incredibly charming and handsome Rio and also discovers that her family is cursed. While Lola had never been lucky in love, she is now learning that this bad luck is actually by magical design.
With the help of Rio’s surly and stoic best friend Javi, Lola makes it a mission to break the family curse so she can fall in love without consequence. And over the course of that summer, Lola learns more about her family, herself, and the magic around us all.
In this beautiful coming-of-age tale, Lola comes to realize that maybe you never had to be perfect in order to be worthy of love. You just had to be brave enough to show up as yourself and all that you are. Viva Lola Espinoza is an important book and a reminder that perfection isn’t interesting, anyway.
‘Viva Lola Espinoza’ *is available now.*
Over the weekend, Entertainment Tonight reported that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn have separated after six years of dating. While Swift, 33, and Alwyn, 32, have not confirmed the split themselves, a source “close to Swift” confirmed the news to CNN saying, “Taylor and Joe broke up a few weeks ago. They simply grew apart and plan to remain friends.”
Despite the amicable ending, the breakup has shaken Taylor Nation to its already emotionally unhinged core:
@imgoingtojump the world is a cruel place #taylorswift #joealwyn #fyp #midnights #lover #reputation #alltoowell
♬ All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) – Taylor Swift
(By the way, I am part of this demographic, don’t come after me, fellow Swifties.)
But unlike Swift’s other breakups, this one feels a little more gut-wrenching. While Alwyn and Swift intentionally kept their relationship private, the little glimpses we did get into their partnership showed a happy, healthy, and strong couple. Alwyn also inspired “Lavender Haze” on Swift’s recent studio album Midnights.
“My relationship for six years, we’ve had to dodge weird rumors, tabloid stuff, and we just ignore it,” Swift told Entertainment Tonight. “And so this song is sort of about the act of ignoring that stuff to protect the real stuff. I hope you guys like it.”
The Internet is having trouble processing how a relationship can inspire songs like “Lavender Haze” only to end mere months later, especially because Swift and Alwyn seemingly did everything right.
They kept their romance between just themselves. They protected “the real stuff” and loved with deep intention and commitment.
And yet, they still didn’t work.
But maybe that’s okay. Because maybe love isn’t about how long it lasts or if has forever potential. Maybe the best love stories are actually the ones that we were still brave enough to write despite their expiration dates.
Just because something ends, that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter or doesn’t matter. Love doesn’t always need to fall apart spectacularly in order for it end either. Sometimes, it simply needs to run its course. And when love leaves, perhaps one of the most romantic and loving things we can do for one another is to let each other go when it is time to do so.
But not all hope is lost. Because just as Swift once said, love is like daylight. It always arrives again.
It’s been a big week for entertainment news. We’ve gotten updates about the new Barbie movie, a big announcement for Shrek fans everywhere, and rumors about a possible Harry Potter HBO show that no one asked for. If you’re feeling a little out of the loop, read on for this week’s big stories of the world of TV and movies.
The new Barbie trailer and its doll box memes.Last December we talked about the teaser trailer and everything we knew about Margot Robbie’s Barbie movie releasing this summer. At the time, there wasn’t a lot to know about the movie. Well, Warner Bros. blessed us with a new trailer, plus some killer character memes from the official Barbie movie Twitter account.
We’re getting an even bigger look at the bright and colorful world of Barbie, including two warring Kens by way of Ryan Gosling and Simu Liu. (Choose your fighter. I’m Team Simu.) While the trailer’s getting some reactions, it’s the character memes that Warner Bros. posted on Twitter that have got people talking.
Meet our Barbies and Kens ✨#BarbieTheMovie pic.twitter.com/KO2pwszXNJ
— Barbie Movie (@barbiethemovie) April 4, 2023
They look like the cute little art from old Barbie doll boxes.
Warner Bros. PicturesThey have one for seemingly every character imaginable, but my favorites are Emerald Fennell as Midge…
And Michael Cera as Allan. Yeah, this movie is going to be bonkers. Check out Barbie in theaters July 21, 2023.
We’re hopefully getting a Shrek 5…with the original cast!DreamWorksIt’s no secret that the entire world is in love with Shrek. The first film, which came out in 2001 (feel old yet?), proved that audiences of any age could enjoy an animated fairytale. We fell in love with the titular ogre along with his ladylove Fiona and erstwhile companion, Donkey. Even decades and several sequels and spin-offs later, the franchise is still a favorite among, well, everyone. So when there was some official word of a new Shrek sequel this week, of course it’s all anyone’s talking about.
In an exclusive interview with Variety, producer Chris Meledandri (who’s produced animated hits like Despicable Me (2010) and Sing (2016) and Super Mario Bros. out in theaters this weekend) said he’s started the process of getting Shrek 5 the movie it deserves, including nabbing the original voice actors:
We anticipate the cast coming back. Talks are starting now, and every indication that we’ve gotten is there’s tremendous enthusiasm on behalf of the actors to return.
Chris Meledandri, Variety
Hollywood is a fickle thing, though. Deals drop off all the time. While you maybe shouldn’t get your hopes sky-high, definitely keep your fingers crossed that Shrek 5 becomes legit.
HBO might fulfill their Harry Potter TV show dreams after all.HBO MaxHBO, in conjunction with Warner Bros. Television, has been playing with the idea of making a TV show adaptation of the Harry Potter book series for a while now. It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. They already have streaming rights for the movies and hosted the reunion special, Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts, last year. The one thing holding the plan back has been the go-ahead from half the world’s least favorite author, JK Rowling. If she’s not down with the deal, then it doesn’t happen.
Apparently, things are looking up for HBO on the Rowling front. This week Deadline announced that negotiations with Rowling are going well and that Warner Bros. Television will produce it for HBO if all goes well. But do we need a Harry Potter show? Of course, many people aren’t too thrilled with this news. Even without the obvious ethical implications–which are large and unyielding–a show that goes over everything we’ve already read and watched a million times in a million ways might not be the boon HBO is hoping for. Then again, you never know!
And that’s it for the big entertainment news you’ve missed this week. Stick with us for regular insights.
Too often, I’ve allowed my mind to bully my body, using my mirror as a tool to zone in on the smallest imperfection. The mirror has always been a place I go to look for problems it seems.
Why is that?
It’s safe to say Eczema has always been a massive anxiety trigger for me.
It can bring you to the lowest of lows, making you feel like you’ll never get better or only be able to focus on the negative what-ifs. I know this because I spent years perfecting how to hide my skin instead of learning how to love and care for it — editing, and covering, and doing anything to make it go away.
Sadly, sometimes the hardest thing to wear is our own skin.
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Over the years, I’ve realized that beauty starts in your head, not in the mirror.
This mindset shift and self-acceptance started with small positive self-talk phrases. Reframing your thinking to look for even the slightest silver linings will eventually grow into a bigger mindset shift with time, and honestly help you when those flares catch you off-guard.
I went from hiding and overthinking about people seeing my skin to reclaiming my power by controlling my narrative and hopefully helping to change the general narrative about skin conditions little by little.
We can’t always control our skin condition, but we can control how we react to it.
That is our power.
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With time, you’ll be able to talk about your biggest insecurity without your voice breaking, you’ll openly share, educate others, and have this moment of release instead of dread when people ask you how you feeling.
Living with chronic Eczema is like one reoccurring déjà vu, It doesn’t have to take your skin healing for you to change your mindset. Sadly, flares are going to come and go but I promise each one gets a little easier to deal with. Yes, sometimes, it can feel the exact same as before and trigger those negative spiraling thoughts. But our reactions can change and slowly we can learn to react rather than impact ourselves more negatively.
Déjà vu can help guide your decisions and perhaps choose a different path than last time.
Little by little and with time you’ll one day be at peace with your flared skin and focus more on healing than hating it and one day you’ll feel confident enough to go outside without tugging your sleeves down. You’ll simply walk out the door and smile back at a stare rather than internalizing it as a hating glare. You’ll learn that your flared skin gives you the power to help others feel more comfortable in their skin, simply by showing it.
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I’ll never forget the day I saw a girl rocking her full flare and felt instantly inspired to do the same. I thought if she can do it, so can I. Seeing her taught me, if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
Simply put, one of the best ways to care for your eczema isn’t your physical skincare routine. It’s your mental health care.
It’s about knowing and seeing you’re not alone.
Be the reason someone feels comfortable enough to show their real skin.
I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease at 19 years old, and Ulcerative Colitis a year later. Who doesn’t love sprinkling hospitalizations into their college experience?
I was in complete denial of my diagnoses and spent my college years pretending it didn’t exist until my next hospitalization came around. I refused to even acknowledge my disease, afraid that it would make me different than my peers or keep me from doing what I wanted to do. So I continued being ashamed of what I was going through, burying my head in the sand, and getting sicker and sicker.
Year after exhausting year of trying so hard to fit in and be “normal,” I eventually learned that I sometimes have to stand out or be the “unique” eater at the table to truly advocate for my health and advocate for what I know is best for me — and that it is okay.
I want to share with you three ways that I overcame the shame of living with IBD.
- Talk about it.Share your experience with someone who will be there for you. The opposite of shame is vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, even with one trusted person in our lives, we begin to chip away at the shame that we have been carrying.
You don’t have to share everything all at once. Start with one person, and share as little as how you are actually feeling today rather than saying “I’m good,” or “I’m fine.” See how that feels opening up — even just a little bit.
In the early years of my diagnosis, I was surrounded by friends and still felt very alone. I didn’t know of anyone else going through what I was going through and never felt comfortable to share my experience with friends. But I wish I had been more open sooner about my experience with IBD. Keeping all of that inside really ate away at me for a long time and felt like I was living two lives — my actual experience, and the life where I put on a smile and pretended everything was fine.
If you don’t know anyone with IBD, search hashtags on Instagram and Facebook. There are so many amazing people to connect with.
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- Laugh about it.In a recent flare, I was having “accidents” almost on a daily basis. It became so unpredictable that I would get stressed at just the thought of leaving the house and have an absolute emotional meltdown when I couldn’t find a bathroom in time.
I made the decision to buy adult diapers. Even though I released the shame years ago, buying adult diapers was another level of humiliating that I had never experienced before. It wasn’t like I was in a grocery store aisle in a town where I knew everyone. I was literally just on my couch by myself. And yet I couldn’t shake the deep feelings of disappointment, sadness, and longing for the version of myself who didn’t have to suffer from a disease like this.
Even though they provided me freedom to live my life, I still felt so much shame over needing them as much as I did. I would get changed in the bathroom and wear loose clothing to make the diaper as invisible as possible.
After a few days of me wearing them, my husband starting joking with me about them and making me laugh. The second we took the power away from the situation and replaced it with humor, the shame lifted. Now there are all kinds of jokes being passed about my diaper and it really just makes the state of my health that much easier to bear.
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- Embrace it.This does not mean just throw in the towel and give up. It means that you can coexist with your diagnosis and live a very fulfilling life.
I spent way too many years living in shame and denial. I felt like I constantly needed to prove to myself and to others that I was just like everyone else and that I could live like everyone else.
In 2015, I actually ran a marathon with a flare up. I’ve always been a runner and really enjoyed it as my outlet, but this wasn’t just a neighborhood 5k. It was a flipping marathon — 26.2 miles. At the beginning of my training, I promised my parents I would stop if I ever felt my symptoms come back. Sure enough, at mile 17, my symptoms started again and being that close to the main event, I refused to quit even though I knew I should have. However, the source of needing to run the marathon came from a place of needing to prove to myself that I could do things that normal healthy people did. And it caused one of the worst flare-ups I’ve ever experienced.
I encourage you to write down a list of all the positive things that your diagnosis has brought you, that you might not have otherwise discovered or learned, or people that it has brought into your life. It’s a really simple exercise, but it has helped me get to a positive mindset toward my diagnosis.
I invite you to release the shame and step into vulnerability. There is so much freedom when you begin to take steps to chip away at the shame of living with a bowl disease.
You are so much more than your diagnosis.
Over the last few years, the Koreans have quietly pulled ahead of the United States media-wise, in concept and vigor. Between K-Pop bands topping our charts, feature film Parasite taking the Best Picture Oscar, and the phenomenon that was Squid Game, we never know what’s coming down the pipe.
Last month, Netflix dropped South Korea’s latest and most unusual reality contest called Physical 100. The idea is simple yet engrossing. One hundred of the top athletes in the country are gathered under one roof and compete in physical challenges, which eliminate half or more of the contestants after each conclusion. The goal is to find out whose body type and physical training has prepared them to be the nation’s ultimate athlete and outperform the others.
The competitors are of ages ranging from early 20s to late 40s, all sizes, male and female. Men compete against women and vice versa. Heavyweights against flyweights, Olympians against amateurs, and there are both team and individual components. There is no voting people off the show, a hardly mentionable cash prize, and no worse fate than not performing to the best of one’s ability.
The spectrum of physical talent covers special forces, military, crossfitters, fitness influencers, bodybuilders, dancers, powerlifters, martial artists, gymnasts, rock climbers, and Olympic athletes of various specialties. It’s a diverse field and each of the Physical 100 is represented by a plain white cast of their chiseled torso, which must be shattered in shame if they do not continue to the next round.
The feel of the show has a Squid Game energy, as many of the same Netflix voiceover talent is used for English dubbing (if you don’t prefer subtitles), and the scope of the games is broad and intense with that same supervillain, billionaire methodology. The interesting thing about the Korean show is the unbridled respect and encouragement that the participants lavish upon each other. There’s no smack talk or gamesmanship by American standards. They’re on site to compete and win or go home, not plug their Instagram or TikTok page.
They each fanboy/fangirl out over one another and marvel at their capabilities. The two standouts that the collective fawn for are renowned MMA fighter Choo Sung-hoon, dubbed “Sexyama”, and gold medal Olympian Yun Sung-bin. They are celebrities, battle-tested veterans, and the favorites to go far, if not win the entire competition. They’re also both physical specimens, especially Yun Sung-bin, who effortlessly shows off his 5+ ft vertical jump to the other competitors.
The challenges of Physical 100 are varied and unpredictable. Whether outlasting others while holding a 200-kilo boulder on one’s shoulders, moving a 2-ton wooden ship as a group, wrestling for medicine balls in the mud, or building a suspension bridge to move sandbags, the show will keep you guessing. This is the fun factor that beckons American TV for its own version.
Don’t we as a country deserve to see our overpaid and overpublicized athletes do the same? Sure, our version of the show could never afford LeBron James or Dwayne Johnson unless they show up pro bono and with their own insurance, but we could still have a deep roster.
Just to throw out a few names, Olympic icon Michael Phelps, MMA legend killer Julianna Pena, baller Zion Williamson, reality staple Johnny Bananas, bodybuilder Phil Heath, soccer player Megan Rapinoe, or a slew of roided-out fitness influencers like Liver King, and whomever the flavor of the month is, would all be great entertainment.
Most of Physical 100’s challenges are non-contact, so there’s a low risk of injury, and we could finally see who has “show muscles” and who has “go muscles.” Inevitably, the Americans would engage in verbal sparring, and that’s fine, but it’s hard to play by the usual reality TV rules when you either win or go home.
It’s the same principle that makes The Ultimate Fighter such a fantastic premise. Personalities and politicking be damned on Physical 100. Show up and perform, or smash your papier-mâché bust and take a slow walk home.
Whether we imitate it or not, it’s a fine show with a pure message to convey. Work hard, don’t be afraid to challenge yourself, and big muscles don’t always equal strength. Catch Physical 100 now on Netflix, and hopefully, we can get a second season soon.
The other day I had the delight of seeing a preview in the theaters I hadn’t yet caught at home or online. Normally trailers don’t get me amped up for a movie and give away far too much of the plot to get me excited. That all changed after unexpectedly watching the lead in for Sisu.
What starts out as a nondescript period piece about an old man striking gold in the middle of 1944 Finnish wilderness, immediately morphs into Nazi destroying gore and carnage. It’s a popcorn movie through and through that leans very hard into what the people want to see… dead bad guys. As stated during the trailer, it’s from the team that brought us John Wick, so the recipe for a light on dialogue and heavy on action feature, looks to be all but guaranteed.
What Indiana Jones proved to us time and again is that the best movie villains are Nazis. The army of swastika clad, goose steppers is not a body that anyone has any empathy or sorrow for when utterly obliterated on screen. In fact, the gorier and more comical their deaths, the better.
Perhaps it is the only karma that we as humans can retroactively lay upon them for their atrocities or the fact that their empire at one time was so broad in range, that they can be a globally hated entity.
In any case, Sisu’s two minute and twenty four second preview for its feature makes an absolute meal out of the WWII German bad guys. Between tanks, pick axes, landmines, planes, and motorcycles, there’s no doubt this is going to be an action heavy film. Our only hope is that the best parts haven’t all been shown to us already.
Will the film actually be good? That’s anybody’s guess. We’ve all been fooled by good advertising before I’m sure. The trailer itself though is a work of art. The build is fantastic. It takes us directly from a call to action and hero’s journey to be immediately met by protagonists, all in the first 30 seconds.
We’re then met with hard rock tones and symphonic notes in a bloody action montage teasing our hero’s hidden past and abilities. The man never speaks and has no apparent name. All lore is built through 3rd person narration telling us that he’s an absolute badass as he executes Nazis before our eyes.
It’s got a bronze age, mythological vibe in its storytelling as we watch our silent warrior take on what looks to be an entire platoon, outmatched and outgunned with only wits, and Sisu, which apparently translates to “epic tenacity” or “the art of inner strength”.
The action of this piece builds larger and larger as do the vehicles and deaths, culminating in what appears to be some sort of Mission Impossible, James Bond, styled plane takeoff hijacking sequence. Two separate film review sites give ringing endorsements of the film, which usually mean nothing other than they’ve been paid to do so, but in the fashion they’re spliced into the trailer, they only make it look more appealing.
Whoever cut this film’s preview needs a raise and more work. They’re an artist. They’ve already got me to plan my springtime movie dollars around it. We’ll hold our breath and pray that it is as gory and over the top as it’s been made to look from this little taste. Sisu lands in theaters April 28th. Limited release, so catch it where you can.
It’s prom season, babes. Even if you’re long past the days of trawling department stores for the best “just enough skin that my parents will still allow” dresses and waiting with bated breath for someone to ask you to the dance, that doesn’t mean you can’t hearken back to the days of great music and subpar punch. We’re talking about movies about prom.
Disney+ has a new teen rom-com coming out Friday, March 31, 2023 called Prom Pact. Mandy wants to ignore all the “promposals” currently clogging up the hallways of her high school in favor of asking the popular boy Graham to help her get into Harvard. It looks so cute and I’m fully ready for it to enter the pantheon of prom films. But need something to tide you over before it comes out? Here are some low-key brilliant prom movies you can stream right now:
Prom (2011)Walt Disney PicturesNova’s on the prom committee and wants everything to go right. Of course, it doesn’t, and when she has to spend weeks making a new fountain, she’s paired up with the motorcycle-driving bad boy she loathes, Jesse Richter. This movie is a must-watch for the expertly done enemies-to-lovers trope alone. Watch Prom on Disney+.
She’s All That (1999)Miramax FilmsWhen Zack Siler is challenged to turn the worst girl in school into the prom queen, he chooses Laney Boggs. She’s covered in paint with glasses and a haphazard ponytail. (Oh, the horror!) It’s just a bet…at least that’s the plan. But he might just fall for this diamond in the rough. You can thank this ’90s rom-com classic for the “take her glasses off and she’s beautiful” trope. It’s cliché in all the best ways. Watch She’s All That on HBO Max.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena Vista PicturesBianca wants to go out on dates, but she isn’t allowed unless she can get her shrew of a sister a date as well. But who would go out with a…feminist? (Gasp!) Partick Verona (played by the wonderful Heath Ledger) is paid for the job of wooing Kat, and quickly realizes his feelings are very real. Everything culminates at the prom, as it should. Watch 10 Things I Hate About You on Disney+.
Never Been Kissed (1999)20th Century FoxAs you can see, 1999 was a good year for prom movies. In this one, Drew Barrymore’s Josie Geller goes undercover in a nearby high school to infiltrate the cool kids. Unfortunately, not only was she not cool when she was a teen, but she’s also never had a truly amazing kiss. You’d think falling for the English teacher would be a good idea (would we?), but the reveal at prom proves otherwise. Watch Never Been Kissed on Disney+.
The Prom (2020)NetflixWhen the PTA cancels prom because one lesbian student, Emma, wants to bring her girlfriend, leave it up to a quad of semi-washed-up Broadway performers to come save the day. This musical comedy had mixed reviews at the time (in part because of the addition of James Corden), but sometimes you just want to shut off your brain and sing along to fun songs while dreaming of a glitzy glam prom. Watch The Prom on Netflix.
Pretty in Pink (1986)Paramount PicturesAndie Walsh is from the poor side of town, so when one of the rich boys in school shows interest in her, everyone in her life is skeptical, including her eccentric best friend Duckie. This is a great movie to watch for DIY prom dress vibes–at least to see what not to do. Andie takes two gorgeous pink prom dresses and turns them into one Frankenstein’s monster of a shapeless monstrosity. Watch Pretty in Pink on HBO Max.
Prom Night (1980)AVCO Embassy PicturesYears after an unfortunate death, the seniors of the local high school are getting terrorized by a mysterious slasher. Okay, this entry is more for the horror-lover than the standard prom fan, but you should stream this if you’re feeling a little anti-prom right now. While there was a 2008 remake, pick the original for now Oscar-winning scream queen, Jamie Lee Curtis. Watch Prom Night on Peacock and Amazon Freevee.
Carrie (1976)United ArtistsThen again, if you want to watch a true classic when it comes to horror prom movies, you have to watch Carrie. Carrie is a bit of an outcast with a religious zealot of a mom and a penchant for telekinesis, but things are looking up when she’s invited to the prom. Unfortunately, it was all a prank bro, and she decides to take revenge covered in the pig’s blood her bullies used to humiliate her. Watch Carrie on Prime Video and Paramount+.
And of course, check out Prom Pact on Disney+ starting March 31, 2023.
Nearly a decade ago, we were introduced to the heavy on action, light on dialogue title that is John Wick. On paper the Wick series reads like any paint by number, straight to video action franchise. What has set it apart has been Keanu Reeves’ ability to commit to stunts, gun work, fight scenes, and director Chad Stahelski’s talent for keeping action sequences fresh.
Over the years the Wick series has pushed and evolved in its on-screen combat. The story has been pretty straightforward . The main character is an ex assassin, pulled into a war with a crime family through the memory of his wife and her kidnapped dog, which was all he had left to remember her. It was an odd but memorable catalyst and enough to launch us into the deeper story, involving the assassins guild and their chain of worldwide sanctuary hotels.
The Continental Hotel side stories and its employees are a lovely respite in the nonstop action of the Wick franchise. They create a rich backstory to delve into that counters the grim brutality of the nonstop headshots and muzzle flashes, Keanu Reeves gives us in every fight scene. It has been a winning formula that has carried us into four films and an inevitable tv series spinoff.
That recipe however, can only take an audience so far before the novelty wears out. Director and stunt savant, Chad Stahelski has worked hard to keep John Wick fresh, but in each iteration there’s only so many ways to kill people during 120 minutes of nonstop action sequences.
SPOILER TIMEJohn Wick: Chapter 4 is an absolutely fantastic 90 minute movie. Unfortunately for viewers, the total running time is 169 minutes. It picks up immediately where John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum left off. Our title character is being hunted by the “table” aka the assassins guild and those who control them. He is on the run after having been betrayed by Winston, the manager of the Continental (always played wonderfully by Ian McShane).
The film tries to keep itself exciting, with new sexy locales and different fight sequences but for viewers, this is where the entire first half falls flat. The lighting and cinematography are really put on display for the Osaka and Berlin segments, but the scenes as a whole are entirely unnecessary to the story. Everyone shows up with gray, kevlar suits and falls into the same entrance and deathly exit over and over. It’s monotonous and immediately fatiguing. There are times it feels (and likely is) that the same stuntmen are fighting and dying in different outfits / disguises. The lone breath of fresh air is Donnie Yen who is introduced as Caine, the blind swordsman. He walks across water in every scene and is an immaculate fighter who brings excitement and grace to his sequences. He continually saves the movie every time it gets stale.
As we slog through Osaka and then Berlin, we watch Keanu deliver 6 words of total dialogue as if he’s recovering from a stroke and then jump into gunfire. Reeves has never been a tremendous actor and these films play into his strong silent persona well, but this is a bit much. He’s speaking less and less with each installment and struggling to get out his two or three words. It’s almost painful when he speaks, especially when everyone else delivers their lines normally.
I’m not sure if he’s had head trauma from stunts gone wrong or if this is by choice, but Keanu’s speaking cadence has gotten slower and stranger as the series has progressed. Also, let me iterate that he is still a great star with palpable screen presence, but the man is now 58 years old. How much hand to hand combat can we watch him do in long (single take) stretches with believability? There’s an entire segment on the first third of the film dedicated to nunchakus. There are plenty of guns available but to change things up, John Wick has to fight exclusively with nunchakus or hand to hand.
Again, I think it’s admirable to try and keep it interesting but the younger, beefier stuntmen were visibly slowing down in these segments, waiting for their moments to fight John Wick. It took believability off the table and much of the hand to hand fight scenes were too similar and sloppy. Keanu is a bit slower than he was a decade ago and the visible pauses between strikes and grappling with his stunt team were too obvious in choreography.
Then we get to Paris.
The movie should have started and ended here. The moment John Wick arrives in Paris for his impending boss battle, the movie hits overdrive and never looks back. This part of the film is easily worth the price of admission and will have your jaw on the theater floor. The Parisian segments bring the innovation and fun of the fight scenes that we’ve come to know and love from the franchise.
The Arc de Triomphe car chase, fight melee and 222 stairs leading to the Sacre Coeur are enough to hang any hat on for all 4 films. These scenes are career making (dare I say legendary?), iconic in scope, and something other action films should aspire to. The stunt work is insane, the scenes are long, complex, over the top, diverse, and it is classic John Wick chaos to its core. Cars, Guns, Swords, Falls, Flames, it is everything we wanted and hoped for.
John Wick: Chapter 4 also gives us some other characters worth mentioning. Bill Skarsgard as the Marquis is a decent enough bad guy, who needs to work on his French accent. We get a few fun moments from Laurence Fishburne (but not nearly enough), and a small taste of Hiroyuki Sanada and his swordplay. Donnie Yen and Keanu together on screen are fantastic in every way. Their shared scenes are fun, and provide great levity to the intense fighting segments they’re featured in. We get plenty of moments between them to cement their chemistry and really bring the ending home in a satisfying way.
Go see John Wick: Chapter 4, whilein theaters as you’ll want big screen for both sound and action. Just don’t be mad at yourself if you fall asleep in the first half or show up late.
The apex of the digital age has come and gone. It’s clear we’re on the backside now in the chaotic aftermath of an oversaturated market. Sure, nearly every media title is available on streaming but now there are so many platforms, that just finding and accessing a sought after film is more trouble than its worth.
A handful of years ago before the streaming wars began it was Netflix and Redbox for physical rentals and digital films. Before that there were a few dying Blockbusters and Hollywood Videos, but the second DVD’s could get sent to our houses it was the death blow to that industry.
In addition to more pocket rental kiosks and home delivery, a few premium cable networks like HBO, Showtime, and Starz had their titles but they weren’t gobbling up everything in site to squeeze the consumers to only choose their exclusive platform.
Then came the boom.
Within the last 8 years we’ve got the emergence and complete domination of Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, Hulu, HBO Max, Youtube TV, Fubo, Vudu, Roku, Peacock, Apple TV, and Paramount Plus. They’ve been hard at work locking down their own properties in a very unsharing marketplace.
Not only are all older movie titles now digitally spoken for but new ones are now often exclusively made by the platforms and only viewable on those streaming services as well. The problem is too many necessary subscriptions.
Maybe I’m old fashioned but it’s exhausting, signing up for a service to access a title I wanted to watch, if you’re not fortunate enough to already subscribe to that vendor. Between creating an account, verifying the account, adding a payment method, making a profile, adding personal info to said profile, and then finally accessing the title I wanted, I could have been to the video store and back twice over without my eyes bleeding from screen time.
What the digital age has us all forgetting is the joy of the bricks and mortar movie hunt. Sometimes the best adventures are the journeys themselves. Walking into a video store and staring at titles on boxes seemed so much more fun and satisfying than scrolling through a sea of digital art and images that blend together via remote or desktop.
Sometimes seeing the title on the shelf made me realize I wanted to watch it, or haven’t seen it yet and prompted the rental. A few days ago I had to scroll down 6 pages of Amazon Prime home screen prime just to find new “non prime” release movies and when I got there, the selection was skim.
There’s a great feeling of accomplishment when going into a location, physically grabbing something and taking it with you to enjoy. There’s something called the IKEA DIY effect, which is a feeling of joy and accomplishment that comes with assembling something ourselves. The same could be said of the Video Store effect when you go looking for something and find it, or locate something else to watch and enjoy it. Physical action indeed helps to create memory.
Before you blast me and say that no one has DVD players anymore, I’d like to remind you that all modern video game consoles play DVD’s. Most households do have those and if not, old DVD players are easy to find. Also with DVD’s and Blue Ray there’s no buffering, no loss of internet signal or low bandwidth to ruin your night. You also stare at the video package on your coffee table so you remember to watch it and not forget to jump back in if you fell asleep.
The Video Store also offered quality snacks and a reason to leave the house. Sometimes leaving to get a movie was the only time we went to town (if you lived in the burbs or country) and that’s okay because it was an event. We searched for entertainment and were on our feet. it was a mission. We then hunted for treats. If you’re a couple or in a squad it becomes a team building mission. Agreements must be made and compromises had for the enjoyment of all. Did you have to pay a monthly fee to access the video store? NO. You just paid for what you rented. It was a fair deal, not geared to fleece you regularly like streaming platforms.
In closing, the video store is dead and will stay this way. I know this. corporate greed and sheer convenience have replaced the fun of an outing with loved ones where we share memories, talk about movies, and plan an evening.
Now we sit on a couch, stare at a screen as one person scrolls and are overwhelmed by an abundance of titles we’ve never heard of, since no one network has too much of anything anymore.
The video store wasn’t about the movie. There’s no guarantee any movie won’t suck. It was the smell of the store, the physical boxes, the hunt, the discovery, the conversations, the agreement, that was the evening, not the film. Digital media has given us wonderful access to many things and it’s not bad, but it has robbed an entire generation of the joy of this forgotten facet of moviegoing.
We’re in kind of a TV limbo right now. The first season of The Last of Us is finished. Sure, we have new seasons of Yellowjackets and Ted Lasso, but they’re giving us little tidbits, one episode at a time. What can you do if you want to binge something new this weekend–especially those who thrive off mystery? I submit to you, my TV binge buddies, School Spirits, a Paramount+ Original. With five episodes out now and the final three coming out in the next few weeks, you can binge this ghostly YA mystery this weekend and get all caught up before the big reveal in the last episode. It’s perfect for people who want to solve a good The show currently has an 80% Rotten Tomato rating and 93% audience score.mystery and who love the idea of a high school full of the ghosts of former students who died there.
Paramount+Whenever Maddie Nears tries to leave the grounds of her high school, she’s transported right back to where she died: The boiler room tucked away in the dark dank basement of Split River High. None of the living students or faculty seem to see her, but the dead ones? They won’t leave her alone. The dead students who walk the halls have been there for years and even decades, and they want her to join their support group. Maddie would rather do this little thing instead: Solve her own murder. And with the help of living friend Simon–the only person who’s ever been able to see and talk to a ghost–she might just figure it out.
So who killed Maddie Nears? Maybe it’s Mr. Anderson, the affable English teacher with a dark secret. Or Xavier, Maddie’s brooding boyfriend with questionable habits and seriously suspicious vibes. Or Claire, the former friend and head cheerleader who clearly hates her.
Paramount +School Spirits began on March 9, 2023 with three episodes and has been releasing a new one every week, all on Paramount+. It stars Peyton List as Maddie Nears. You might recognize her from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid films or the Cobra Kai series.
Other notable cast members include Sarah Yarkin (Texas Chain Saw Massacre (2022)) as cynical beatnik ghost Rhonda, Spencer Macpherson (Degrassi: Next Class) as brooding boyfriend Xavier, and Kiara Pichardo (The Society) as hopeful friend Nicole. Other cast of note–just because I love everything they’re doing on the show–is Nick Pugliese as Charley and Milo Manheim as Wally Clark.
Get caught up on School Spirits this weekend on Paramount+ and gather up your theories for who killed Maddie Nears. The show currently has an 80% Rotten Tomato rating and 93% audience score. The season concludes on April 20, 2023.
Sometimes love comes to you when you least expect it, and sometimes, these connections are so powerful, as if you two were inexplicably bonded by no other choice. And this kind of love hurts.
This love brings out a side of you that you never want to face. It uproots your fears, your addictions, your hurt, your defenses. It shows you how broken you are. It shows you how broken they are. As beautiful and torturous and all-consuming as this connection is, you know in your gut that your togetherness was meant to happen. You feel it, the fire in one another. You understand and see one another on a level that others will never understand.
But sometimes, the love you want might not be the love you need, or the love you deserve. Sometimes, two people can be so right for each other, and still not good for one another.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt. Love isn’t supposed to be about heartache, agony, fights, tears. Love shouldn’t be two broken people finding a home in one another. Love shouldn’t be this unbearable thing. Longing. Wanting. Waiting.
Sometimes, with a connection like this, you have to let each other go.
You will do everything in your power to be together, even knowing how wrong you are for one another. You bargain with the Universe, you make mistakes, you hurt some people along the way. Maybe you even hurt yourself, too.
But if this is the kind of love that people write songs about, then you two will find each other again one day. Sometimes, this love always makes it back to one another, and nothing, and no one, can tear that apart.
Right person, wrong time. Isn’t that always how it goes?
Warner Bros. has long felt like the boss’s son of a studio. Its department heads inherited big named properties, have all the money they know what to do with and yet continue confuse us. In August of last year, Warner Bros. made another in their series of baffling choices. They decided to indefinitely shelve and write off Batgirl, a film completed and paid for.
Specifically with DC (Detective Comics) titles, WB has never been able to get traction. They saw the master decade long, multi film plan Kevin Feige laid out at Marvel Studios and wanted to duplicate it. Then they opted to take shortcuts and shoehorn what should have been 5 years of development into two films, which were not well executed.
Instead of going for poppy, fun, and lighthearted energy, WB lumped their hopes and dreams onto the back of their chosen director Zach Snyder. Much like his other films, he was a visionary who’s only apparent vision was dark, angsty, and brooding. The all American Superman just didn’t come off as fun as it should have when he had the attitude of a teenager who really wanted to fit in somewhere. Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice was even stranger. Between the odd casting choices and horrible everything, all people remember is that Batman and Superman’s mothers laughably have the same name.
Somehow for being so poorly lit and nearly satire, the films cost a fortune to make and market. Sufficed to say the movies Snyder made didn’t really flop, but they also didn’t break enough ground or succeed enough to warrant the immediate expansion of a universe and explosion of titles, as with their main competition (Marvel) a half decade earlier.
Since they owned the rights to DC, WB did push out other titles though. Wonder Woman had two films before it fizzled. Shazam has experienced some limited juice and the Batman franchise hasn’t been able to get off the ground in a decade, despite a fresh iteration or tangent every few years.
Then came The Flash. This production really sums up the crux of WB’s problems. In what was the least hate-able character of the Justice League film, WB went all in on a Flash standalone endeavor starring Ezra Miller, a troubled actor with no lead credits to his name. Dumping a reported 300 million into this project, Warner Bros. has had nothing but issues with delays in production, multiple arrests and drug issues with the star and the entire DC Universe teetering on the brink of collapse, studio wise.
What’s baffling though, is that WB has changed leadership by hiring James Gunn as executive overseeing all DC projects at the studio. He’s had success helming Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy and that’s pretty much it. It’s a lot of responsibility to thrust onto a talented director and writer. He was given a grease fire and a bucket of water to put it out with. So James started swinging his axe and everything was cancelled but the upcoming Flash film.
Here’s the rub. Despite all of its problems, The Flash has been testing very well. Tom Cruise saw it and raved over it, if that’s worth anything. The studio put even more money into it and wisely got public menace Ezra Miller off the streets until its release. A big part of this movie though is Michael Keaton as the Batman. People are excited about it and there’s buzz about everyones favorite OG film Batman (no disrespect to Adam West).
Now, I haven’t seen Batgirl. It could be a flaming bag of dog doo doo, but how bad can it actually be if it has the same beloved Michael Keaton in it in the same role? The man hasn’t made a bad film since Multiplicity in the 90s.
Not only that, it has Brendan Fraser in it to boot. He’s now the Academy Award winning actor Brendan Fraser! His comeback is complete and everybody has been rooting for him. Now WB can also lead in with “Best Actor winner Brendan Fraser” in the trailer title card. That always puts some extra asses in seats. The very same things that make The Flash appealing on paper are in the Batgirl movie. There’s even been a few action scenes that have leaked online and they look pretty good!
Just.. WOWWW🙌 @EmelyTKD @lesliegrace you make a great tandem fo sure💛 #batgirl #sistershavingeachothersbacks #sistershavingeachothersbackflips pic.twitter.com/uAAFWWN2fm
— Ivory Aquino (@MsIvoryAquino) September 18, 2022
From what we internet sleuths can gather, Batgirl is finished. It’s at or near final edit and gathering dust because James Gunn simply said so. Not to second guess the man, but out of his two Marvel films, one was great and the other was okay. His other DC titles thus far, Peacemaker and Suicide Squad, should show that everything he touches is not gold. He and the studio need to rethink the release of a film that would likely make its money back for them, especially since they were on the verge of throwing it away!
In closing, no one is frothing at the mouth for a Batgirl movie, but the casting department hit a homer and they may have accidentally caught lightning in a bottle. It would help with the studio reboot they’re so desperately trying to manage. If Warner Bros. is gung-ho to write off 90 million dollars (as is the reported Batgirl budget) the least they could have done is give it to a food bank or donate to the make a wish foundation. For now all we can wish for is a potential release of Batgirl on HBO Max one day in the future.
Being on every dating app and cramming your schedule with dates for every night of the week isn’t always the most effective strategy when it comes to finding love … in fact, sometimes taking yourself out of the game and going on a little hiatus is exactly what you need to ultimately get what you want.
Lasting love isn’t only a matter of finding the right person; it’s about being the right person. Unfortunately, most people get so caught up in the former they completely ignore the latter. Finding the right person is useless if you can’t recognize them as being the right person for you, and that’s what happens when we don’t learn from our mistakes or take the time to work on ourselves.
Being a serial dater can feel productive, and it fits with a message we’ve been taught all our lives, that hard work pays off. However, this isn’t always true when it comes to dating. Having an amazing, loving, happy relationship really comes down to being your best possible self, not expending all your energy on putting yourself out there.
During my single years, I was a big fan of taking long breaks from dating in order to regroup and sort myself out, and I think those gaps are what helped get me to a place of actually being ready for a healthy relationship and I’ve seen it do the same for many other.
Here are some reasons why you might want to stop dating for a little while (the amount of time is really up to you).
- You keep ending up in the situations over and over again.If history keeps repeating itself in your life then it’s a sign you need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and re-group. Personally speaking, I had a habit of only chasing guys who didn’t want me, or who couldn’t commit. One after the next these relationships would play out the same way and I would find myself picking up the pieces after yet another broken heart.
I finally hit my breaking point and decided to take a big break to figure out why I kept ending up in this place. I did a lot of self-work and reflection and was able to uncover where my faulty patterns were coming from and work to undo them. Fast forward a few months and I started dating the most amazing man I have ever known and we’ve been married for nearly eight years now!
Ending up in the same situations over and over again doesn’t happen because of some force conspiring against you. It usually signals that you need to make a change, and this is an active process. Oftentimes, we repeat the same patterns as a way to heal from some sort of wound left behind by an ex or even a parent. The subconscious is always looking for ways to mend itself, even if that means leading you into unhealthy situations.
If you want something different, you need to make a change, and change can take time.
- You gain your sense of worth from men.Feeling attractive and desirable can be addicting and is almost like a drug. It’s intoxicating to feel wanted by men, it makes us feel good, and it makes us feel worthy in a way. But that isn’t where real self-worth comes from.
You can’t outsource your self-esteem and it certainly doesn’t come from making a man ache for you.
If you find that you need male attention and approval in order to feel worthy and attractive and good about yourself, you need to stop. You need to take a break and find ways to give yourself the love and validation you desperately seek from others.
Remember, you can only let in as much love from the outside as you already feel on the inside. If your self-love tank is running on empty, then you will never be able to properly receive someone else’s love.
- You are fixated on an ex.Some people find that getting back out there and dating helps them forget about their ex, while most others find that it makes them miss him even more. Either way, you can’t heal a bullet hole with a Band-Aid. If you still aren’t over your ex, you need to figure out why, the real reason why, not the surface reason.
What’s the difference? A surface reason could be that you really cared about him and you miss him, but the real reason could be that he made you feel worthy in some way, and now that he’s gone you feel an empty void within.
You associate the feelings of worthiness with your ex but in reality, you don’t need him in order to feel good about yourself. As I mentioned in the previous point, feeling worthy comes from within. A big reason women find it so hard to get over a breakup is they associate certain positive feelings with their ex and think he is the only person who can give them these things, but this is simply not true. Women who claim to want their ex back don’t usually want him, they want the feelings he created within them.
If you still aren’t over your ex, whether you actively think about him or his ghost lingers in the recesses of your mind, it’s best to take time to work through these feelings on your own. If not, you’ll end up idealizing him, and no mere mortal can compete with an idealized vision, so you will sabotage your relationships before they even really begin.
- You feel unsatisfied in your life.Here is a big secret that most people don’t realize: happiness isn’t something you extract from a relationship; it’s something you bring into your relationship. A lot of people have this expectation that a relationship will be the missing piece that will make their life complete. Given the way mainstream media portrays love, it’s not surprising that so many of us have adopted this erroneous belief.
Before you can really be in a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship, you need to focus on filling yourself up and living a life that feels fulfilling to you. This is something confident people do differently in relationships: they make their happiness and self-love priorities and allow that to spill into the relationships, rather than trying to use the relationship as a means of filling themselves up.
- You don’t have clarity in life.The greatest reason to take a step back from dating is to gain clarity, which I believe to be one of life’s most incredible gifts! It isn’t easy to have clarity when you’re dating unless you’re someone who can take a highly intellectual, objective approach to life.
Dating rouses our emotions, it activates our insecurities and fears, and it can cause us to fixate on how another person feels rather than on how we feel.
Dating, especially when you’re struggling with all the issues I mentioned in this article, can make your problems worse, not better. You may continue to circle around the same place and feel frustrated that nothing ever seems to work out for you. You may find that your relationships always fall apart and feel helpless as to why this is.
Taking a break from dating can help clear your mind and lead to some seriously revolutionary epiphanies. You may discover why you were drawn to certain guys, why you drive men away, why you unknowingly sabotage your relationships, and why you chase after unavailable men. You may uncover hurts that you didn’t even realize you were still holding onto.
It is only when we identify a problem that we can solve it and taking a break from dating will give certain things a chance to bubble to the surface. Don’t fight it, embrace it and use it as fuel to become an even better version of yourself, a version that is finally ready to be in a loving, happy, healthy relationship.
In a few days, Netflix will unleash upon humanity, another season of its hit series Love is Blind. You’re welcome to jump in at the start of any of its 4 seasons and binge away. Each effort is standalone in its attempts to marry off complete strangers, who are desperate for television exposure and social media followers.
The premise of Love is Blind, is that over the course of a few weeks, attractive people under the age of 40 converse and ask each other deep questions as they are separated by a wall, never seeing each other throughout their courtship. They do a round robin of sorts with a dozen contestants of the opposite sex and narrow it down to a love match. Before time is up in the “experiment” one of them must propose to someone they dig or lose the ability to appear on future episodes of the show, which would be devastating to their potential television and Instagram influencing careers.
Of course, this is all under the guise of love and that narrative is reinforced repeatedly, aside from the fact that almost none of the couples who have gotten engaged in 3 seasons are still together. The show has an absolutely terrible success rate but hey, we’re not here for love, we want the train wreck. It’s been apparent from the jump that the show is not really about love, but entertainment and for that, we thank you Netflix.
The show is “hosted” by Nick Lachey and wife, Vanessa Lachey. I use host loosely as they appear in the first episode for a quick intro, about halfway through the season for twenty minutes of generic advice, and at the very end for a tidy wrap up. Oddly enough, on camera they treat the show as a serious matter and consult couples as if they’re Dr. Ruth trying to salvage relationships with real potential. The Lacheys are producers of Love is Blind, so obviously they need to save face and continue their branding, which looks to be doing well as this is their 3rd show on Netflix.
Speaking of branding, there’s also an absurd insistence by production to make everyone drink from gold chalices at all times. They look like they were bought in bulk from a party store and yet whether in the “cubes” (as they call the spaces for dating), visiting family in the real world, once engaged on a honeymoon, or meeting foreign nationals, they must always slug from these gaudy containers. It’s hilariously tacky and somehow forever uncorrected by the show. It makes what already feels like a cheap production, even cheaper.
But back to the cast and the reason for watching. In season’s past, we’ve experienced the amazing first run fake love of Giannina Gibellii and Damian Powers. Their soap opera kissing scenes and runaway bride montage were only outdone by Damian bringing another Netflix reality star (Francesca Farago) to the reunion special and talking exclusively about her love of plastic surgery. Let us also not forget about Season 1 dark horse Jessica Batten who could never find a man she found as supportive as her enormous glass of wine and showed up to every event, sloshy.
Season 2 pushed the levels of cringe, with the will they won’t they couple of Shaina Hurley and Shayne Jansen. These two weren’t even fiancees but had such a “connection” that it ruined the fake engagements they had with two other contestants. Let’s also give a shout out to Abhishek “Shake” Chatterjee, who body shamed his super likable ex, Deepti Vempati and constantly talked about the importance of physique, despite the fact that he, himself looked like he was formed from ill shaped play dough.
Just when the show seemed to reach peak horror, Season 3 said “hold my beer”. They introduced us to mega-narcissist Bartisse Bowden who’s unable to love anyone as much as he loves himself and his 90’s retro dangly earring. He was joined by dysfunctional power couple Zanab Jaffrey and Cole Barnett. Aside from gaslighting one another into oblivion and each painting themselves as a victim, they could never find common ground. “Success story” Matt Bolton and Colleen Reed insist they’re still a couple even though they don’t live together, show zero affection on camera, and don’t seem to have any chemistry. That said, who knows? On tv some of this can be real while most is is not, including the infamous tears of Andrew Liu.
Is any of this actually genuine? Who knows? In reality tv these could all be storylines and talented aspiring actors, or once normal people simply open to producer’s suggestions. The point is, it’s okay to watch the world burn if it’s this world in-particular. No one who willingly applies to be on any dating show with the premise of immediately getting married is there for love, unless they’re a little unhinged. To that point, we’ve seen some interesting characters thus far, that have now successfully graduated to the upper echelon of Netflix’s cast of regulars on other dating shows. What Love is Blind has now become is a vehicle for their exclusive talent. Its the same effort and result as Too Hot Too Handle, Love Island, and Are You the One. Its brain dead tv, with characters you’ll talk about at the water cooler and see on another Netflix production in a month.
That’s exactly what makes it a perfect hate watch. Going in, knowing that these are people craving fame and Instagram followers makes their fake love affairs a great ride. The acting will be terrible, egos will emerge as storylines become apparent to those trying to look good on tv, and those that can’t make their phony relationships work come apart at the seams.
Each season manages to outdo the previous, so grab your plastic gold goblet, get down on one knee, and strap in for Love is Blind, season 4 dropping this week on Netflix.
Listen, I know it’s scary and uncomfortable and deeply upsetting right now, but you are going to be okay. You have to take this step for yourself. You have to reach beyond what is known and try to trust that you will be okay no matter what. Even if it doesn’t work out. Even if you don’t find what you’re looking for, it’s honorable to show yourself that you tried. It is admirable to get help. You are not weak. You are not worthless. You are not a failure. No one will be upset with you for doing what you need to do for you. Your light is stronger than any darkness. Remember, the courage you need is already within you. The comfort you need is already within you. You can do whatever you think you can’t do.
Few things can send waves of panic coursing through a woman’s body quite like a man suddenly pulling away. Things started out so great. You had amazing chemistry, the connection was strong, and you really thought he could be the guy for you. But then things took a turn…
Now he’s not as available… he disappears for days at a time… he ignores your texts… and he just doesn’t seem as excited by your existence. You’re just about ready to throw in the towel and call it a day on this relationship, but then he comes back! Maybe he shoots you a friendly text or wants to hang out.
You feel relief, but also anxiety and on edge. What if he disappears again? How can you hang onto him?
You’re on a painful cycle of having hope, getting your hopes crushed, and then having hope again.
The highs and lows drive you crazy, but it’s better than accepting that a guy you really care about doesn’t feel the same.
Here is how to deal with a man pulling away:
Why It Happens:First, let’s address the main reasons a man will pull away. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you, it’s just his way of dealing with things.
He may be having issues that have nothing to do with you or the relationship and he withdraws because that’s his way of dealing with things. Maybe he’s having problems at work, maybe he’s struggling financially, or maybe he’s having family issues.
You don’t know, and you won’t know unless he decides to talk to you about it (and this is a decision only he can make. Don’t try to force anything out of him.) Or he may just need to get some perspective on the relationship. This is just his process. The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you’ll free yourself from useless worry and stress.
And the rest of the time… he was never that interested in you, to begin with. This is especially true of a guy who comes in and out of your life on a loop. He probably had some level of interest, but not enough.
What To Do:If a guy wants space, the best thing you can do is give it to him. Chasing after him is not what’s going to get him to see you as an amazing one-of-a-kind woman. Instead, chasing him shows you are insecure and desperate.
Rather than obsessing over him and what he’s thinking and how he feels, focus on yourself. Focus on finding your own happiness so you aren’t dependent on him to feel good about yourself.
- Acceptance is key.Accept the situation for what it is. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you have something else. Most people can recognize the truth when it’s staring them in the face. They often just choose to ignore it and look the other way or write their own version of events even though deep down they know it’s pure fiction.
If he’s having personal issues, that’s one thing and you can usually tell if that’s the case. If he’s just not that interested in you … that’s a different story. And most people know when this is the case, they just don’t want to admit it.
If he had true feelings for you, he wouldn’t be behaving this way. If he really cared about you, you would know it.
Will he change his mind and come back with a renewed and recharged level of interest? It’s possible, but that’s only if you step away and re-center yourself so that your sense of happiness and fulfillment comes from you, not from his opinion of you. When he no longer feels this pressure and needy vibe, he may feel a gravitational pull toward you.
If he doesn’t come back, there isn’t much you can do. You can’t badger him into having feelings for you. You have to accept that some things will never be in your control.
You may mistake your devastation for meaning that he really is the right guy for you, but this isn’t the case. For one, you can’t possibly know him well enough at this point to determine something as significant as that.
Getting over someone who does not love us back isn’t easy. In fact, sometimes being rejected from the start hurts more than a breakup. If you fall in love and actually feel the other person’s love for you, at least you don’t question whether you’re worthy of being loved. When you’re rejected before things really even get off the ground, it can bring a lot of things into question and summon a lot of old wounds.
- Realize you are not “unworthy” because you don’t have someone’s love.The plain and simple truth about love is not everyone is a match. Sometimes both of you will see it (and this is the ideal scenario), but usually, only one person will see it and the other will be devastated because they really believed this was it.
Just because someone doesn’t want you the way you want them doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love … it just means they weren’t right for you and that’s really no big deal. All this really means is you are now free to find someone who is right for you. And when you do, there won’t be any confusion or “mixed messages,” and any other confusing relationship behavior.
- Realize that this is idealization.A lot of the time when you’re pining for someone who doesn’t want you, you aren’t seeing them clearly and instead are creating an image of them in your mind that has nothing to do with who they are. Face this and learn to be OK with the fact that love usually finds you when you least expect it, not when you try to force it.
Don’t go looking for love; just be open to meeting new people for the sake of it; this is what will attract love into your life.
Another part of the idealization is the dramatization of the entire saga. Being in love with someone who does not love us back gives us this glimmer of hope that they actually might love us someday and this can take on an almost theatrical and addicting internal drama that consumes you; it’s romanticized in a way.
This romance is hurting you and wasting your time.
Free yourself.
Friday, the world lost one of its great talents. With a career spanning nearly three decades, Lance Reddick was a face and voice you’d immediately recognize, and the glue that held many of television’s great shows together.
Bringing a natural, stoic gravitas to his scenes, Reddick was often cast in roles of leadership and authority. You’re sure to recall him as a commanding officer in any of his most memorable scenes. He often delivered his dialogue with a stern and serious cadence ,while also somehow coming off as approachable and understanding.
He was a true thespian and appreciated the accolades of other’s he deemed talented. He mentioned as much when he said the greatest compliment he’d ever received was from a random, brief Phillip Seymour Hoffman encounter in NYC.
A staple of iconic roles in Oz, Law & Order: SVU, The Wire, American Horror Story, Lost, Fringe, Bosch, One Night in Miami, Godzilla vs. Kong, Little Woods, White House Down, the John Wick series, and a score of voiceover credits, he’s woven himself into the fabric of our entertainment culture with a robust body of work.
Lance was also an avid lover of the Destiny video game franchise he helped voice and a member of the online community. He played often.
He is gone far too soon at only the age of 60. Lance is survived by his wife Stephanie and children Yvonne Nicole, and Christopher. Stephanie released this statement via Twitter, complete with donation information, for furthering a cause close to his heart:
pic.twitter.com/MFwOwpRJK7
— Lance Reddick (@lancereddick) March 18, 2023
By audience consensus, the Academy Awards rarely get their major picks correct. There are winners every year of course, but the Oscars for Best Acting (on any level), Director, and Picture are great examples of design by committee. The cream of the annual crop are usually nominated but the evening’s winners often leave a sour taste in the mouths of fans by the morning after.
With the most nominations and wins for 2023, this year’s darling was undeniably Everything Everywhere All at Once, which we’ll shorten to EEAAO to save exhaustion, moving forward.
With an impressive 11 Oscar nominations and 7 wins, no one should debate that EEAAO isn’t a good film. It is just that. It is very good, even. It just wasn’t the best when compared to the other films nominated. EEAAO was a quiet sleeper that didn’t initially perform at the box office but has definitely made it’s money back. Major award nominations will do that for a film and are part of the Hollywood game. But, can you honestly say that you’d sit down and rewatch EEAAO twice in a year or stop what you were doing if it was on tv?
This year’s Oscar herd was thinner than in years past and getting tougher with more titles created for at home viewership. The meager, covid laden box office of the last few years is proof that cinema going was heading the way of the dodo. Then one movie came along and single handedly resurrected the silver screen experience: Top Gun: Maverick.
I submit to you that not only did Top Gun: Maverick save the movie theater experience, but it should have won best picture; if only for that alone. Let’s circle back to the winner though. Everything Everywhere All at Once won in all major categories so it must be worth mentioning again. If you didn’t see it, it’s a film about family connection, and life choices creating different paths across different universes. The heroine of the story, Michelle Yeoh learns to tap in to her other selves with the help of her mousy but jolly husband Ke Huy Quan and her daughter Stephanie Tsu.
The plot is much more complex than that, but for the sake of brevity it covers philosophical and existential topics such as: If you know everything about everything, is life meaningful or meaningless? Do small choices change who you are as person even though your life may end up drastically different? Are we products of our environment and upbringing, or can we escape those predeterminations?
These are complex subjects that EEAAO covers with fun and craziness and makes beautiful. They did a tremendous job tying it up and infusing sense into the world they created, but it was not the weirdest or most entertaining movie of the lot.
As far as strange and memorable goes, it’s hard to imagine odder movies than Triangle of Sadness or The Banshees of Inisherin. You can’t watch either of those films on first try and guess where they are ending up. Even crossing multiverses and having an entire dimension where Jamie Lee Curtis (and all others) have hot dogs for fingers, EEAAO still pales in oddness by comparison to the sea sickness scene of Triangle of Sadness or The Banshee of Inisherin’s donkey that chokes on human fingers. The Oscar sweeping film in its weirdness and charms is still very predictable and a paint by numbers heart-warmer in terms of character arc and emotion.
If we only went according to reviews, critic scores, box office draw, and longevity in the marketplace, none of the other movies nominated score nearly as high as Top Gun: Maverick.
Yes yes, Tom Cruise didn’t deliver an Oscar caliber performance, nor was the script mind-bending and original, but as an overall picture it just worked on all cylinders. We see quite a bit in the Oscars, where a film wins one or two of the major categories and is automatically shoved onto the podium for Best Picture. There’a also a good deal of timing involved as some years are stacked while others have to search to find a film to give the award to reluctantly. 1995 had winner Forrest Gump pitted against The Shawshank Redemption and Pulp Fiction. How do you pick a winner out of those three? Impossible.
2006 had winner Crash against Munich, Good Night and Good Luck, Capote, and Brokeback Mountain. Those are all fine films but in hindsight would you sit down with a bowl of popcorn and watch any of them again, in their entirety even once every few years? Here’s an even better question: Would you make an appointment with the big screen for any of these films?
The only two on the 2023 list that are a yes are Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: The Way of Water. All Quiet on the Western Front certainly could have had a theatrical release for it’s scope, but opted to go for Netflix.
From first frame to last, Top Gun: Maverick is a thrill ride. The audience is put in the cockpit of every airborne vehicle and the pacing is a steady build to the show stopping mission at the end. Said mission is all action, all emotion, and somehow still unpredictable even though we know Tom Cruise never, ever, ever dies in any of his movies.
By comparison, the first half of EEAAO is a mess. Yes, it’s designed in part to make us feel as confused as Michelle Yeoh, experiencing the same wild ride, but the execution is lacking. It’s fun but sloppy at times. It feels cheaply done, forced into inexpensive settings, and the pacing makes you want to chew through your recliner without any rest. The second half brings everything in wonderfully and again this is all by design but it is not the ride that Top Gun: Maverick is. For cutting multiverses together, the editing Oscar in EEAAO is well earned as is the screenplay and direction for bringing scope to a very complex vision, but the acting awards aside from Ke Huy Quan could have gone to anyone in the field.
These are all great accomplishments but they did not bring people to the theaters, which is why large scale movies with named talent are usually made. In 2021 and 2022 Nicole Kidman was begging people to go to the theaters via ads. Attendance was at an all time low, save a few Marvel films.
No one was going to watch standard non superhero, non CGI laden films of any sort. Then the Top Gun sequel came along. With practical effects, human actors, limited CGI, and actual flying, it became a reason to get off our couches. Producer / Actor Tom Cruise delayed the release of the film over and over as covid crippled the box office receipts for 2 straight years, with few signs of improvement. In summer 2022 it dropped into theaters and had an incredible run. For perspective, a blockbuster movie can usually stick around at a cineplex for up to 3 months if it’s really, really big. Top Gun: Maverick, ran for almost 6 full months. People were going back to theaters to rewatch it on the big screen.
In hindsight, when choosing a “Best Picture”, does the Academy take fun and enjoyment into consideration? No. It’s usually artsy or moving films with messages that get nominated. Does the Academy care if the film is ever watched again after the awards? No, of course not.
Top Gun: Maverick is special in that it’s one of those films that brings repeated enjoyment, big action, is a sequel better than the original, and single handedly saved the movie experience as we know it. Steven Spielberg even said as much to Tom Cruise in person , and that’s a man who knows how to marry profit and art. Watch Everything Everywhere All at Once, then Top Gun: Maverick and let me know which one you’d sit through again in a month.
Best Picture doesn’t have to be the film that also won the most other major awards, or is a chore to get through because it’s so thought provoking and artsy. It should be viewed as a separate, stand alone prize for the accomplished film that works best as a whole and will stand the test of time with audiences, new and old.
There’s something romantic about cuddling up to someone for a night in–especially if it involves hanging on to them for dear life while you cower in front of an extra fun and scary horror movie. But what horror movie should you suggest to your significant other for your next date night? Find your zodiac sign below and I’ll suggest a streaming movie that fits your personality. Heck, you could look up your date’s sign too and make it a double feature! Now get some popcorn and your partner, because you’re about to get spooked.
Get more horror recommendations on our spooky sister site, Creepy Catalog.
Aries: Barbarian (2022)20th Century PicturesYou’re a brave soul. Even if you spook easily, you like to challenge yourself just to prove you can handle it. Barbarian’s a good choice because it has twists and turns that you can talk about with your date for hours afterward. It’s best to go into this one knowing absolutely nothing. Just enjoy the ride. Watch Barbarian on HBO Max.
Taurus: The Night House (2021)Searchlight PicturesAs a homebody, the idea of a ghostly presence in your home–and a weird mirror version of your exact house nearby–is the stuff of nightmares. It’s all about relationships, homes, and what’s hidden in each. Although the release of The Night House was fairly quiet, it got positive reviews from critics and audiences for its suspense and the great acting job from Rebecca Hall. Watch The Night House on HBO Max.
Gemini: Freaky (2020)Universal PicturesWhat happens when you mash together body-swapping fan favorite Freaky Friday with the classic slasher movie Friday the 13th? Freaky, where a murderous Vince Vaughn swaps bodies with an unassuming high school girl. The mix of comedy and horror is perfect for you–someone who just likes to have fun. Watch Freaky on Amazon FreeVee.
Cancer: The Sixth Sense (1999)Buena Vista PicturesYou prefer emotional, psychological horror movies over the brutal films that some people clamor for. You’re also more likely in the mood for something you’ve already seen, so how about The Sixth Sense for date night? Though it came out almost 25 years ago, it’s aged like a fine, spooky, ghost-seeing wine. Watch The Sixth Sense on Peacock and Paramount+.
Leo: It Follows (2015)RADiUS-TWCYou love attention. The idea of people paying attention to you sounds lovely. But what if it were creepy weirdos that won’t stop following you? And all because you slept with someone you shouldn’t have? That’s the vibe of It Follows, a horror fan favorite. It’s like an STD in supernatural form, with artistic shots and personality-bare stalkers that will leave you filled with dread. Watch It Follows on Netflix.
Virgo: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)Magnet ReleasingYou’d prefer a romance over a horror movie and you’re not too keen on getting scared. Luckily there’s Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, a romantic pick considered one of the best horror comedies from most fans. You’ll be sympathisizing and rooting for the downhome hicks living in a gnarly cabin in the woods over the stupid college kids who accidentally die around them. And the romance? Chef’s kiss. Watch Tucker and Dale vs. Evil on Prime Video and Peacock.
Libra: 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)Paramount PicturesYou tend to lean more toward mystery or suspense than horror. With 10 Cloverfield Lane, it’s more about interpersonal conflict as a woman wakes up in an underground bunker after a car accident. Are the dangers outside the bunker real, or just a way for Howard to keep her locked up? And can she trust the other guy locked up with her? Watch 10 Cloverfield Lane on Paramount+.
Scorpio: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)Columbia PicturesYou like the classics, and I Know What You Did Last Summer is one of the ’90s slashers that reinvigorated the horror genre nearly three decades ago. A group of plucky teens accidentally hit a guy on a lone highway and decide to hide the death and their involvement. But when they start getting threats a year later, maybe they didn’t hide it so well after all. Watch I Know What You Did Last Summer on Netflix.
Sagittarius: The Ring (2002)DeamWorks PicturesYou love to get scared. You’re adventurous that way. In that case, I submit to you one of the spookiest movies from the early 2000s: The Ring. A mysterious VHS tape (those big plastic things your parents won’t shut up about) is going around and anyone who watches the weird art film within gets a call warning them that they’ll “die in seven days.” You won’t look at tube TVs, landline phones, and VCRs the same way again. Not that you’ll really run into that problem… Watch The Ring on Paramount+.
Capricorn: The Invitation (2022)Sony PicturesYou don’t like scary movies. Luckily The Invitation really isn’t that scary. It’s more like a modern and even sexier version of the classic Dracula story. But this time you’ll almost wish that you were falling for the vampire lord of the film. It follows an American woman as she meets distant relatives in England–and falls for the unrelated and wickedly handsome man of the house in the process. Watch The Invitation on Netflix.
Aquarius: The Menu (2022)Searchlight PicturesYou don’t like mindless horror. You want your movies to mean something. So why not watch The Menu, a suspenseful horror-adjacent film that’s more of a commentary on the bourgeoisie than a slaughter fest. This small group of affluential diners–and one interloper–are in for a life-changing meal on a remote island thanks to an eccentric celeb chef and the zealots who work for him. Watch The Menu on HBO Max.
Pisces: Odd Thomas (2014)Fusion FilmsOh, the emotional Pisces. If your date has suggested you watch a horror movie, recommend this instead. While it’s about a young man–played by the late, great Anton Yelchin–who sees dead people, it isn’t as scary as it sounds. In fact, it’s much more romantic and emotional, so it’s a good one to spring on your horror-loving date so you both get what you want. Just be prepared to cry. Watch Odd Thomas on Prime Video.
Paris Hilton released her third book, Paris: The Memoir, her first book detailing traumatic incidents from her youth, especially the two years she spent in the troubled teen industry. The book also covers more uplifting moments in the heiress/DJ/reality star’s life, like the real story behind the iconic “Bimbo Summit” photo of Paris, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears in a car together. Hilton also talks about her family and drops plenty of fun tidbits about Kathy Hilton and Kyle Richards of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Despite the long list, there is A LOT that could not fit into this article. Here are some of the juiciest moments from Paris’ new book:
Paris: The Memoir is available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.Growing up Paris1. Paris says the “most money she’s ever made from being a Hilton” is her current deal to be the face of Hilton Hotels with her sister Nicky Hilton Rothschild.
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Rick and Kathy Hilton used to party with Andy Warhol at Studio 54.
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Andy Warhol told her parent’s that Paris was going to be a big star.
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Paris first went to a club when she was 12. Soon after that she tried to get into a club with Nicky, Farrah Aldjufrie (Paris’ cousin you can see on Netflix’s Buying Beverly Hills) and Khloé Kardashian but they couldn’t get in as they were all in middle school.
Nicky, Kathy and Paris. From
Paris’ Instagram.5. One of Paris’ main philosophies is that women and girls should feel like “You’re not lucky to be at the party; the party is lucky to have you.”
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Her favorite song of all time is Ultra Naté’s “Free.”
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Paris was diagnosed with ADHD long ago but has only recently understood how much it affects her life. She has never been able to sit still or do well in school, though it’s clear from her writing and business success that she’s not dumb. Because of her time in the troubled teen industry (details below) Paris only had a 10th grade education when she was 18. She later got a GED.
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She says she is a shy extroverted introvert. Her famous baby voice is a defense mechanism that comes out when she’s uncomfortable.
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When she was 8-years-old Paris’ nanny was future millionaire Bethenny Frankel who was around 20 at the time and was friends with her aunt, Kyle Richards. She says her and Nicky aspired to be just like Bethenny and Kyle.
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Kathy Hilton went to prep school with Michael Jackson and the two were close friends at the time.
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Because Kathy, Kyle and Kim were forced into modeling and acting by their mom, Kathy Hilton did not want Paris or Nicole to be performers.
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Kathy raised Paris and Nicky to be conservative, modest socialites who always think about how their actions will impact the family name.
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On Real Housewives Kathy Hilton says she’s never gone on a girl’s trip. Paris confirms this when she says her parents NEVER sleep apart. When one travels, the other goes with them.
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Paris and Nicole Ritchie both had their first kiss during a game of spin the bottle.
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Growing up, Paris thought her dream job was veterinarian because she loves animals so much.
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Although there’s been tons of drama, Paris says Kathy, Kim and Kyle unconditionally love and support each other in a way she admires.
Paris’ predator teacher17. When Paris was in 8th grade she was attending a private catholic school in Los Angeles with nuns and everything. At this school one of her teachers told her he had “a crush” on her but that it was “our secret”. The teacher called her every night (Paris had her own phone line, it was the 90s). He told her that it was normal for adult men to fall in love with children, just like Elvis did to Pricilla Presley. One night the teacher showed up at her house and asked her to come outside. She got in his car and he kissed her. Rick Hilton caught them in the act and the teacher sped off with Paris in the car, screaming “Why did you make me do this?” Her parents never mentioned the incident and the teacher never faced any consequences for grooming a student.
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Speaking about why it took over 25 years for her to realize that her teacher was a pedophile, she says “Casting him in the role of child molester meant casting myself in the role of victim, and I just couldn’t go there. I couldn’t accept that all his praises—all those affirmations an eighth-grade girl desperately needs to hear—came from a place of malevolence, and I was stupid and vain enough to buy it.”
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Another way Paris explains it is that it’s hard for victims to come to terms with being preyed on because they feel one of two things is happening, and one is a lot more flattering than the other: “You are a stupid child who was deceived, used, and thrown away like garbage.” or “You are an irresistible siren whose beauty and allure have the power to change someone’s mind, sway their soul, and alter their behavior.”
Sent away to Palm Springs20. After the incident Paris’ parents sent her away to Palm Springs to live with her grandmother for a year. (For Real Housewives fans, this is the “god damn” house that Kyle supposedly stole from Kim). Paris was devastated to learn her family moved back to New York City while she was in Palm Springs.
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Big Kathy (who Paris calls Gram Cracker) told her: “Before you were born, a psychic told me, ‘This baby girl will someday be one of the most photographed and famous women in the world.’ Brigitte Bardot, Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly—you’ll be bigger than all of them.”
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In ninth grade Paris’ first boyfriend was Randy Spelling – son of Aaron and Candy and brother to Tori Spelling. She hung out at their 56k square foot mansion in Bel Air. At the time Paris had only made out with boys and planned to stay a virgin until she was married. She wanted to grow up and have a relationship just like her parents had with each other.
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Paris says her mom raised her to believe “guys only want what they can’t have, so giving it up meant being unwanted the next day. She said blow jobs were beneath me. “That’s for girls who are desperate. You don’t have to get on your knees. You’re Paris Hilton.”
Second assault24. One Saturday morning at the mall when she was 15 Paris and a friend ran into two guys in their late 20s she’d met a few times before at the mall. They invited the girls to their apartment and badgered Paris into taking a sip of a wine cooler even though she only wanted to drink the Sprite she brought with. She was drugged and passed out. She can’t remember what happened when she was unconscious other than feeling the weight of someone on top of her.
“Things like what happened to me don’t happen in a vacuum. Somewhere, I’m certain, there are many other women trying to forget the bad dream of that apartment. Maybe if one of them had told someone, it wouldn’t have happened to me. And maybe if I had told someone, it wouldn’t have happened to somebody else. That’s why I’m telling you now.”
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While she refused to think about it for decades, she has now come to terms with this rape. She says she hopes this guy is “scared shitless” that she’s not silent and compliant any longer.
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After the rape she gave into pressure to sleep with Randy Spelling for the first time. His friends were saying he would cheat on her if she didn’t sleep with him. Randy was 19 at the time and Paris was 15. She writes that she loved Randy but “froze up” when he touched her. She said this made for a better “how I lost my virginity” story so she pushed the rape out of her mind and rewrote her life story for many years.
Back to New York27. In 10th grade Paris got to rejoin her family in NYC. They lived in a 2500 square foot apartment in the iconic Waldorf Astoria. Nicky got accepted to the prestigious Sacred Heart school but Paris could tell she wouldn’t be happy there and bombed her interview. She ended up going to the Professional Children’s School and was classmates with Macaulay Culkin and Christina Ricci. She says Macaulay lived in an apartment near school, so they partied there a lot.
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Around this time Paris started reading Time Out New York religiously so she knew what the best parties and events were. She would wait until midnight and go to bars in order to learn where the underground raves were, then she would dance until morning. Her parents found out and were furious and eventually she was kicked out of school. Paris says she wasn’t drinking or doing drugs during this time.
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Kathy Hilton worked with Brent Bolthouse (of The Hills fame) and nightlife queen Jen Rosero to plan Paris’ 16th birthday party. DJ AM played.
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Paris was sneaking out so much that Kathy locked Paris in her room at night. For a week Big Kathy came to stay and slept on a cot outside of her room, but Paris still found a way to sneak out to go dancing.
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Nicky would only go out with Paris on weekends because she wanted to get good grades.
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Paris doesn’t blame partying on her ADHD, but she does say going out is the only place she felt like she fit in and was accepted, and the only place she could get out all of her energy. She thinks if someone at school or even her therapist had recognized ADHD or helped her try to find her own way (instead of just telling her to be quiet and fit in) she may not have been so wild. She tries hard to understand where her parents were coming from because she was so traumatized by what they chose to do about it.
Institutionalized33. After a completely normal evening at home, Paris was awoken in the middle of the night by two men grabbing her. One covered her mouth while the other put her in handcuffs. She fought against them as they forced her out of the family’s Waldorf Astoria apartment. On the way out she saw her parents silently watching.
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Paris would become a victim of the “troubled teen industry”. The industry is a collection of unaccredited, for-profit progams run by malintentioned con artists that promise overwhelmed parents they can help their kids. In reality, the programs rely on sadistic and dangerous practices like brainwashing, corporeal punishment, rape, isolation, sleep deprivation, and workouts so dangerous multiple children have died during them.
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Psychology Today says the programs are similar to “Jim Jones’s Guyana, Patty Hearst’s kidnapping, or Zimbardo’s Prison Experiment.”
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Paris was put in an SUV with no door handles on the inside where she went into shock. The two men who had seized her told her to shut up and stop crying. She told them her parents would pay for her safe return and the men revealed that her parents were doing this “for her own good” (a common mantra of child abusers, as explored by Alice Miller in For Your Own Good). She was told she was being sent to a private boarding school.
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When she arrived, school officials told Paris her parents had consented to give the school medical power of attorney over her so she had to comply or be drugged. She was forced to strip naked in front of a group of adults.The adults watched and laughed while one of them fondled Paris’ genitals in order to search for contraband. She was told if she didn’t cooperate the men would hold her legs apart.
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Throughout her time at the school, male adults would watch underage girls shower in groups. They would laugh and make sexual comments towards the girls or discuss what they thought of their bodies. Paris was also part of a group of girls that were targeted for regular late night “vaginal exams” which basically meant staff could digitally rape students. Students were threatened with syringes or medication that would make them pass out if they wouldn’t comply.
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Paris says while foster kids were often sent to her school, many kids came from wealthy and loving families. Some kids weren’t even “troubled”, they were sent there because their parents hoped the program could turn them from gay to straight.
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90s celebrities like Maury Povich and Sally Jessy Raphael helped legitimize these places by hosting “wild child” episodes that sensationalized teen behavior and promised that the solution was to go to one of these for-profit programs. If this sounds crazy, the practice is still alive and well. Dr. Phil is famous for sending child guests (like Danielle Bregoli) on his show to these places.
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While Paris’ parents paid for her visit, many children are sent there on public funds.
“According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the state of Alaska spent more than $31 million in Medicaid funds to send 511 kids to facilities in Utah between 1999 and 2005. An average of $60,665 per child. And that’s kids funded by the taxpayers of just one state. The millions CEDU raked in from insurance claims and private payers will never be known.”
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There were so many rules (ex: no looking out the window, no talking about McDonalds, no singing or humming, you have to report other students you think aren’t working the program hard enough or you’re “just as guilty”). They weren’t given enough food to eat or water to stay hydrated so Paris would open her mouth and drink while she showered. The school made sure the students viewed each other as enemies so they wouldn’t be able to band together.
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The school psychiatrist told Rick and Kathy that Paris would lie and do anything to manipulate them into coming home. So, when Paris was finally allowed a phone call it was supervised by two staff members and her parents had been primed to disbelieve her. When Paris started telling them what was happening to her, staff took the phone away and told her parents she was lying.
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One of the program’s psychiatrists lived with three separate sex offenders. One of them killed two children that had been students under (obviously) suspicious circumstances. After Paris aged out of the school the psychiatrist was finally charged with multiple sex crimes including raping his child patients at the school. The program housed children as young as 8.
“There were bizarre exercises including one where a kid had to lie on the floor, a “trainer” shoved a towel in their mouth, and the kid had to bite down and try to keep their head on the floor, while the “trainer” yanked on the towel, fighting to lift them up. (And yes, this is as violent as it sounds. There were stories about people losing teeth and a girl whose jaw was so messed up she needed surgery.)”
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Because she had so much experience climbing fences, Paris was able to escape and ran to a payphone where she called Kyle Richards. Kyle called Kathy who called the cops and they took Paris back to the school. When she returned a staff member backhanded her so hard she fell to the ground. Then one of the staff “enforcers” got on top of her and beat and choked her while a crowd of people watched.
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Paris was transferred to another troubled teen program as punishment. During the transfer she kicked a bathroom door at one of the school’s staff at the San Francisco airport so that she could run away. She escaped to the downtown Hilton where she called Kathy and told her what was happening. Kathy said she could come home. Instead, Kathy called the cops and they escorted Paris back to her captors.
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Again at her new program the adult staff watched underage students while they showered. This time the “showers” were a bucket of cold water and bar soap.
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Paris observed other students passing out while doing hard labor. If they had to go to the emergency room, they were handcuffed and the hospital staff was told not to speak to them. Students were slapped or held on the ground with staff kneeling on their neck as punishment for asking questions. If this sounds dangerous, it was. In 2000 a student died after a staff member kneeled on their neck for 45 minutes. Students also died from the forced labor, in one incident staff thought a student was faking heat stroke and watched him lay motionless on the ground for ten minutes before they checked his pulse. Autopsies of dead students found them covered in bruises from constant forced labor and beatings.
“Back at the camp, they made everyone sit on logs. Strip search. Cavity examination. One of the guys who always watched me during soap and bucket time said, “Now you’re gonna see what happens when you run away.” The creepy way he was smiling, I thought he was going to rape me right there in front of everyone. Thank God, he just beat the shit out of us.”
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At 17 Paris was sent to the Provo school where she was welcomed with a forced vaginal exam. She didn’t see the sun for the next eleven months.
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Paris finally got out of the troubled teen system a few weeks before she turned 18 after her family visited for Christmas and she was able to tell Rick Hilton that when she turned 18 and left she was going straight to the Wall Street Journal to tell them everything that had happened to her. Her parents said they thought nothing bad could be happening at the school both because they were paying so much money for it.
“Someday, I decided, I’m going to work so hard and make so much money. Like a million dollars. And then I’ll be safe and fuck trusting anyone ever again.”
Becoming an It Girl51. Paparazzi became obsessed with a Paris-Lindsay Lohan feud when Lindsay said Paris dumped a drink on her. Paris says she has no idea what Lindsay was talking about. Lindsay was present during the convo between Paris and the paparazzi (it was the night of the infamous “Bimbo Summit” Paris-Britney-Lindsey in a car photo) and denied the two had ever had any beef.
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Of Lindsay Lohan, Paris says “We’re not close but I always wish her well.”
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When Paris was in the troubled teen industry, they told her if she ever talked about what happened to her people would think she was crazy and she’d be institutionalized again. Paris says seeing her close friend Britney Spears forced into a conservatorship was especially scary because it was just like what her abusers said would happen if she spoke out.
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She told her grandpa Hilton that she wanted to make a hundred million dollars. He didn’t laugh at her and took her seriously. While he didn’t give her money, he advised her and believed in her. Later, he famously said “Most of my life I was known as Conrad Hilton’s son. Now I’m Paris Hilton’s grandfather.”
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Paris says one of the reasons she loves such colorful and fun fashion is that her childhood was taken from her so she likes to indulge in playing dress-up as an adult.
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Paris currently uses five phones: a work phone, a personal phone, a phone for “Europe”, a phone for prank calling, and a phone she never uses but gives the number out when she’s too nice to decline.
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Early in her career Paris pretended to be her own manager so that she could more comfortably negotiate business deals.
Harvey Weinstein encounter58. Paris met Harvey Weinstein at the Cannes Film Festival in 2000. They had lunch with Paris’ producer friend and Weinstein was belligerent and creepy. The next night Weinstein saw her at an event and followed her into the women’s bathroom where Paris locked herself in a stall. Weinstein was shaking the door trying to get in and yelling “Ya wanna be a star???” Luckily event security noticed him going into the women’s bathroom and intervened.
“I told no one, because that’s what you did back then. It was like the bucket shower thing; if you wanted to survive, you just accepted it. Years later, when the scandal happened and the Weinstein power structure started to crumble, reporters kept asking me, “Have you ever had a Harvey Weinstein thing?” And I said, “Nope.” I was embarrassed by it, and I have a pathological fear of embarrassment. I was afraid that if I shared that story, the next question would be, “Why didn’t you speak up at the time?” and I had no answer for that.
1 Night in Paris59. When she met Rick Salomon (who she does not name), he was known by the nickname “Scum”.
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Salomon pushed her to make a sex tape for him and said he’d done it with lots of women. She said no over and over. Salomon told her if she wouldn’t do it, he would dump her. She felt stupid and like she was making a big deal out of something adults do and gave in.
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She was 19 and Salomon was 31.
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Paris feels she was asexual at this time as a result of being raped and abused by so many men. She felt like she never had the time to get comfortable with men before it got to the point where if she didn’t sleep with them she would be a tease so she faked physicality she didn’t feel. Because of this, Paris spent most of her adult life thinking everyone faked orgasms so sex could be over.
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In order to be able to make the sex tape with Salomon she got drunk and took quaaluudes.
“That tape, made when I was not legally old enough to be served a rum and coke in a bar, was released and monetized against my will, but when that thing hit the internet, the full weight of public outrage, scorn, and disgust came down on me instead of on the massive crowd of people who bought and sold it, sparking a steady drip of fake Paris Hilton sex tapes, and blazing a trail for a whole cottage industry that would ruin the lives of other vulnerable teenage girls in the future.”
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She never imaged the tape would come out firstly because the internet was so different when it was made. She also thought “There’s no reason to think a random guy you meet in a bar could be that rotten. Or that smart.”
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Paris called Salomon and begged him not to publish the tape but he was completely calm and cold and told her he had a right to make money off of his property.
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As soon as she was told the tape was coming out she boarded a 14 hour flight. The woman next to her noticed her crying and comforted her. Paris opened up to the woman about what she was going through. She later discovered the woman was planted in that seat and had recorded the conversation. It was in print the next day.
The Simple LifeParis and Nicole on the set of
The Simple Life.76. Paris signed on for The Simple Life right away.
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Originally they wanted Paris and her sister Nicky to star, but Nicky is way too conservative so she called up her childhood friend Nicole Ritchie. Nicole was also immediately game.
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Paris loved working on The Simple Life and remains in contact with the Leding family among others she met during the show.
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She ran into Chops as an adult, he’s now an exec at Netflix.
Success and recent years80. Paris’ first manager turned down an offer for Paris to be the first celeb on Facebook.
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Paris says she “doesn’t believe in overexposure”.
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Hugh Hefner begged her to pose for Playboy and even offered her seven figures. When she refused, Hef ran a photo of her on the cover under the pretense of it being a “news article” so they didn’t have to pay her anything.
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Paris was shocked and upset by her South Park parody considering she had met Trey Parker and Matt Stone and thought they were friendly. What especially bothered her was the depiction of her dog Tinkerbell being shot.
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When someone asked Matt Stone about Paris being upset, he said “That shows how fucked up she is.”
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Paris was also upset about the South Park episode where Cartman says if he had one wish he would want Selena Gomez to be beaten while he watches. It’s creepy anyway but in real life, Selena was dealing with a stalker at that time which made it even more cruel.
“Process that script with me for a sec: A teenage girl is brought in to be beaten for the gratification of the protagonist. Someone beats her and then says, “All right, get her the fuck out of here.” As if the girl they’ve just assaulted is a piece of garbage to be disposed of. That’s the bar now…How is something like that accepted—by all of us—as funny? How do we not see that the treatment of It Girls translates to the treatment of all girls in our culture?”
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Paris talks a lot about how things have changed since #Metoo and how she has learned that she doesn’t have to be silent or comply anymore. In doing this, she also examines some of her own bad behavior over the years. For instance, she talks about regretting dressing up as a sexy Pocahontas for a Playboy party.
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In her own words, a great example of healing and moving on happened on Paris’ podcast when she and Nicky discussed the 2004 Grammy awards where Sarah Silverman and other guests who had partied at her house were laughing and cheering about her imminent 45 day jail sentence. Paris was terrified to go to jail because she knew it would be somewhat similar to her time in the troubled teen industry. At the time people weren’t aware of anyone besides combat vets suffering from PTSD and they definitely weren’t accommodating to triggers. After the episode, Sarah Silverman released her own podcast episode where she talked about how she regrets being cruel to Paris and she has tried to change her comedy to be healthier in the many years since that happened.
“[Paris] said herself on the podcast, that would never happen today. And she’s right. I would never do those jokes today. I’ve actually dedicated the past several years trying to do comedy that attempts to marry hard-hitting jokes with actual heart.”
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(The morally corrupt) Faye Resnick was her interior designer and suggested Kim Kardashian to help her organize her closet.
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She sometimes travels with extra tiaras so she can give them out “as the spirit moves me”.
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For years and years Paris travelled most of the year.
“The carousel ride went around and around, following the same global path year after year: Cannes Film Festival. Let’s go. After Cannes, it’s the Monaco Grand Prix. From there we all fly to Ibiza, then Saint-Tropez, Tomorrowland, Coachella, Burning Man, Ultra Music Festival, Art Basel, Miami, EDC.”
Paris and Carter, from
Paris’ Instagram.91. She met her husband Carter over Thanksgiving break in the Hamptons at a family friend’s home. The two had actually met a few times, including one party at Paris’ home when Carter smoked weed with Snoop Dogg and Suge Knight all night. Paris doesn’t remember any of these meetings but thought he was cute and immediately liked him when they “met” at her family friend’s house. Unlike all the other men she had ever dated, she felt comfortable kissing him right away.
- Paris says she’s never met a man who loves like Carter. She thinks he’s such a good person because he’s from the Midwest and is close with his family. He proposed on her 40th birthday and her wedding was detailed on the reality show Paris in Love which also documents Paris and Kathy Hilton working on their relationship. Paris and Carter recently welcomed baby Phoenix Barron into the world.
“I want you to know right now: The people who hurt you don’t get the last word. You get to tell the story of you, and your story has more power than you can imagine.
Paris: The Memoir is available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.
Sunday evening, HBO aired the final episode of the zombie apocalyptic thriller The Last of Us. The hit show has carved out consistent ratings in the tried and true Sunday evening time slot and has already been renewed for a second and likely third season. While zombies are saturating the entertainment marketplace it’s surprising that this show was as large of a hit as it is. Many people (myself included) are experiencing tv apocalypse fatigue.
The Walking Dead was a lame horse at 11 seasons that should have been put down after 7. Between its spin off Fear the Walking Dead, iZombie, Z Nation, and Santa Clarita Diet, the television audience has seen it all. That’s why The Last of Us’ story of a man and girl crossing the zombie infested countryside on a mission, seemed too late to the game to surprise us.
The most tedious episodes of The Walking Dead were where it felt too much like production wanted to save money and the cast got lost in the woods, while also evading zombies. In any given season there were half a dozen episodes like this that TWD hammered over and over. It made the once fun show a chore.
As someone who has never played the video game the show is based on, I had little faith in The Last of Us. However, HBO seldom makes mistakes in their Sunday night show slots and once again, made me a believer.
SPOILER TIME! Don’t read anymore if you haven’t watched the show. Or go ahead if you want to ruin it for yourself. It’s more of an episode one spoiler and overall synopsis than a play by play recap.
The Last of Us is a 9 episode epic that travels coast to coast of a very ravaged, post apocalyptic, present day United States. The catch is that the cataclysm happened in 2003 and “present day” is twenty years deep into the horrific future. The main character Joel Miller is played by supernova hot actor Pedro Pascal. You already know him from Game of Thrones, Narcos, and the Mandalorian. He’s absolutely everywhere right now.
He’s joined by Game of Thrones costar Bella Ramsey. She’s famous for stealing scenes with a stoic face and little dialogue, so getting more than one line per episode was a welcome change.
The crux of the show is this: Joel lost his teen daughter at the start of the outbreak, not to the mushrooms that are taking over people’s brains (you read that right) but to a trigger happy jarhead that sets the tone for people not trusting their government in a crisis. Fast forward 20 years and Joel is a soulless one man killing machine, living in the slums of Boston and the desire to do only what he wants, when he wants.
Joel dabbles in rebellion and knows how to get things that benefit him. He encounters a loosely organized group called the Fireflies who are a national brand, imposing chaos in government run zones, in what’s left of a few major cities across the United States. After a deal gone wrong, a wounded firefly leader presents Joel with Ellie Williams, played by Bella Ramsey. She is his mission, for which he’ll be handsomely rewarded.
Ellie is the first person to be immune to the brain controlling fungus after being bitten and her blood may be the key to human survival. The rub is this: the special lab she needs to get to, is in Colorado. Vehicles are scarce and cadre of wildly diverse Mushroom brained zombies are prolific.
After the initial setup, what The Last of Us then does is give us man’s story. Instead of constant zombie evasion and jump scares, we encounter a different brand of human in every episode. Giving us an often non linear experience and even an entire episode where Joel and Ellie are barely in it, we are treated to the gripping decline of civilization.
Sure there are zombies. There are clickers, big fat ones, hive mind zombies, and everything one would expect in a show like this, but they are not the feature. They are the ever looming and inescapable outcome of man, but the scarier problem for Joel and Ellie is what normal people have now become in order to survive.
The best part of The Walking Dead series and comics was easily the governor storyline which was exactly this: Control and power by the few was attained by violence and absolute ruthlessness. The Last of Us gave us a taste of it in nearly every different episode, no matter what location or city they traveled to.
Without spelling out the entire plot episode by episode, this show gave us regular flashbacks of chaotic beginnings and large decisions to those ranging in great closeness and bonding, to then juxtapose them against the unbridled chaos of survival. Whether that foe is a band of marauders, rebels, what’s left of the government, cannibals, very hungry people, or mushroom heads doesn’t matter really. They’re only large speed bumps on the heroes path to Colorado. Pedro Pascal is incredible as iron willed Joel and his ability to emote with little dialogue plays perfectly in a show about being tense and quiet while you’re either predator or prey.
Bella Ramsey is never not annoying as Ellie until the last few episodes. Her freedom to curse at will gets tiresome as if an overused child’s novelty, and there are times the audience realizes why she barely spoke in Game of Thrones. However, she eventually finds her pace and voice by the last three episodes and will no doubt get better as the series continues.
For existing in a tired genre, The Last of Us makes a tasty meal out of the material given and does a tremendous job of immersing us in their world without overuse of CGI. The implementation of real world lighting (torches, candles, old mall lights, flashlights) is masterfully done as are the few but robust action sequences that never stale.
There is a definitive artistic and budgetary difference between an HBO zombie series and any other network’s. Binge season 1 now and see what all the fuss is about.
A breakup is quite possibly the most gutting, painful, agonizing experience one can go through. And getting over a breakup can be a monumental task that can feel impossible, and once achieved, can give you that feeling of “I can literally do anything.”
Sometimes, there isn’t much that can be done to save your relationship and it’s best to just move on, as tough as that will be. Other times, a relationship can be resuscitated from being on the brink.
Breakups don’t usually happen one day. There is a buildup that occurs steadily over time. You can feel it on a visceral level when your partner is losing interest and pulling away, it’s just a feeling that hangs in the air and becomes almost palpable. The mistake a lot of people make is clinging even tighter to the relationship in a desperate attempt to get things back on track. This usually fails and things continue to disintegrate.
Fortunately, there are certain steps you can take to get your relationship back on track.
Here they are:
- Do a self-check.How is your self-confidence? Do you feel good about yourself? If you don’t, why not? Most relationship problems can be solved when one person fixes the relationship with him or herself. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, try to identify the source of your unhappiness and work to correct it.
It’s important to keep in mind that a relationship can’t make you happy. Happiness isn’t owed to you in a relationship and it isn’t something you can get from a relationship. Happiness is an internal state, it’s something you create for yourself and then you bring it into your relationship.
And I want to add- I’m not saying this is all on you and your partner doesn’t have to do anything. I’m just talking to you because you’re the only one that you have full control over! Hopefully, your partner will also be working on themselves to show up better in the relationship. Both people need to want it and one person should never have to do all the heavy lifting in a relationship.
- Re-build other areas of your life.A relationship can’t be the only thing you have going on in your life. This is actually one of the most common ways to ruin a relationship and kill attraction and intrigue.
It’s always important to make sure your life is well-rounded and that you have a lot going on aside from being in a relationship. Spend time with friends and family, make time for hobbies you enjoy, take up a new workout class, or indulge in some me-time. Find other ways to feel happy and fulfilled that have nothing to do with the relationship.
It’s helpful to write out all the main areas of your life and then see what percentage of your time you’re giving to each. If you notice major discrepancies, try to balance things out a bit.
- Take a fun trip together.Relationships can get stressful, especially when you hit a rough patch. The more stressed the two people in the relationship feel, the more tension there will be.
Sometimes it helps to break the cycle and get out and just have some fun and enjoy each other’s company. If your relationship is on the decline, suggest a vacation or even a fun weekend getaway to see if you can re-ignite the spark.
- Give space.If you feel like your partner is slipping away, often the best thing to do is just give him or her space to work through things on their own.
This is the opposite of how most people react in this situation. The more common response is to hit the panic button and cling to them even more tightly in a misguided attempt to get them back…which only causes them to pull further away. If you can give them space to sort themself out, they will come to appreciate you even more.
- Be the person they fell in love with.Try to remember how you were in the beginning and what it was about you that got your partner so hooked. Think about how you may have changed since then, and how you might be able to get back to that place, back to being that person. It may also help to remind your partner of the early days. Maybe look over old photos or listen to songs that remind you of better times. Nostalgia can be a powerful tool, it always creates a sense of yearning within us to try to stir that up.
At the end of the day, it’s important to realize that not every relationship can be saved. Sometimes it just isn’t a match and that’s OK. Two people can love each other very much and not be compatible. Love isn’t always meant to last; sometimes people come into our lives as part of the journey, not the destination.
After a month long hiatus, Netflix has released the final half of season 4 of the hit psychological thriller You. Unveiled nearly five years ago, its an oddly addictive series that seamlessly blurs the line between love, obsession, and psychosis. It’s the kind of thing that makes you sound like a lunatic when describing admiration for, as the protagonist of the saga (Joe Goldberg) has a penchant for locking the people he loves in giant plexiglass cages.
In addition to body count and teaching us the fine art of stalking, it has solid comedic elements mixed in, and much of the time you’re rooting for the inevitable death of the victims by the hero. Penn Badgley of Gossip Girl fame, anchors the show and shows off his dark comedic prowess as the bibliophile sapiosexual who gets a little overly attracted to like minded women.
The closest thing to this show’s vibe is the long running hit series, Dexter on Showtime. It was made great by the talent of star Michael C. Hall formerly of Six Feet under, who used that similar winning mixture of creepy charm, and humor.
In many ways You is an improvement of the Dexter formula. After season two, Dexter quickly became a predictable plug and play saga about villain du jour that would end up on the cutting table and fill Dexter Morgan’s lust for blood. Aside from the side character development or serial killer boss in a season finale, there was little arc to the main character and every season of the show was nearly identical.
Not so with You. Yes it scratches that same Dexter itch, but Joe Goldberg is a character that’s trying to stop what he’s compelled to do and find someone new to help him start over; he just can’t. Joe’s kills have consequence and linger with him. They expose him in some way, force him to move to different cities, adapt, become someone different, and strive again to leave it behind and be normal.
Season one was a fresh and fun take on the pains of dating, rejection, and obsession. We learn about Joe’s traumatic childhood which drives him to lock up those he loves and cherish only books as the only things that can’t willingly leave him. He’s a tragic hero and means well, but things never turn out the way you want when you imprison your girlfriend. Penn Badgley’s portrayal of hero Joe is the perfect blend of handsome darkness and empathetic misery. It’s difficult to imagine the show ever cast with anyone else.
Not only does You give us great gimmicks in giant plexi cages and a bookworm who falls for well-read beauties, but it showed us how easy it is to lurk in the bushes with a baseball hat on. Seriously, the main flaw of the show is that whenever Penn Badgley puts on a ball cap, he can stand two feet from someone and apparently turn invisible.
Jabs aside, fans of the show will tell you that it’s not an easy formula to duplicate, without becoming cheesy. Yet, You continues to strive to outdo itself and keeps us invested without becoming “murder du jour”.
Season two introduced a location change and a much more believable obsession and love interest by the way of Victoria Pedretti (Love Quinn). You’ll most certainly recognize her from The Haunting of Hill House and Once Upon Time in Hollywood. It also delivered a quite decent plot twist that played heavily and rolled right into Season three. The follow up was an explosive, fun ending that almost seemed to close out the series. After the season three finale there didn’t look to be many places to go, as SPOILER ALERT Joe was “dead” and he’s gone abroad.
Then came Season four. On paper, “Joe takes London” sounds absolutely horrid. As usual, writers Sera Gamble and Greg Berlanti did not rest on their laurels and stick with the previous formula. They found ways to reinvent the character and make the show feel fresh. Introducing annoying, rich elitists in need of a good stabbing and multiple season twists at regular intervals that kept us guessing, Season four is easily the most inventive of the lot.
Joe is a passenger this season and not in control of anything, at any point. He’s in hiding and trying to start anew, but we all know his nature just can’t allow for it. It’s especially difficult when there are beautiful women who like to read and accidentally give him a passing glance.
Ed Speelers is fantastic in every way as author and politician Rhys, while former love interest Tati Gabrielle returns to our delight. We also get a heavy dose of unbearable upper crust influencer characters such as Adam, masterfully played by Lukas Gage who seems to be everywhere right now. You’ll remember his face from Euphoria and The White Lotus. The climax and cliffhangers of You, Season four all work to make us wonder if this is the end of the series or if there could be more to come. In a show about a serial killer (let’s face it that’s what he is), one can’t continue on forever without some finality and You did a great job of bringing things to a head. Is there more in store for Joe Goldberg or is this it? I guess the ratings will decide. Help give it another season by watching it on Netflix. Available now.
In what feels like an excruciating two and a half year hiatus, our favorite faceless gunslinger has returned to the small screen. Aside from the brief update in the Book of Boba Fett, there has been a gaping void in the Disney + galaxy that fans know, only Mando can fill.
If you’ve been in a coma since Covid descended upon us, the Mandalorian is a spaghetti western style episodic from the tent pole planting mind of John Favreau. With weekly adventuress akin to Kung Fu, Have Gun Will Travel, and influences from Samurai cinema to all things Sergio Leone; it is the most unique thing to hit the Star Wars universe since its creation.
Season one was a fresh take on the galactic bounty hunter life with the introduction of our main character the Mandalorian and his immediate quest to save “the child” Grogu, which many today still call baby Yoda. The small scattered western desert towns in need of law and order by way of violence, is just what we gobbled up in our weekly episodic life.
Season two was a deep dive into the origins of Grogu and where he fit in the Star Wars galaxy. It seemed more of an opportunity for Disney to cash in and open up their universe by introducing new chapters that would spin off into their own series. Many episodes felt forced, like the introduction of other Jedis (Ahsoka coming soon) and focused away from a Mando centric theme. While it was different, it was still welcomed. The action was good, the writing was solid, and each episode was it’s own adventure. Then the hiatus came.
For over two long years, we patiently sat through the stale Book of Boba Fett (with some mini Mando updates to keep us sated), slept through Andor, and watched Obi Wan Kenobi in complete horrific disbelief that it was ever conceived. Finally, after suffering through mediocre Disney series after series, the Mandalorian came back in early March.
This season’s episodes so far have been a back to basics formula that are much welcomed. John Favreau has thankfully returned as writer to ground the series and dive deeper into the lore of the Mandalorian race and its rituals that are the crux of the main characters beliefs.
If I could buy stock in an actor right now it would be Pedro Pascal. The man is red hot. Coming off Game of Thrones, Narcos, and most recently The Last of Us, Pedro’s skills are getting better with each project. Even without seeing his face he brings unbelievable gravitas to the main character. Carl Weathers has returned to give the fans more of what they want as as local badass magistrate Greef Carga. Gina Carano has been conveniently written off after a social media backlash but the show’s fun vibe is the same without her. Season two’s Katie Sackhoff also joins Pascal as as fellow Mandalorian (and our new favorite ass kicker) Bo Katan Kryze.
Season three has delivered so far in the way that season one did, with new Mandalorian mythos, cowboy style shootouts, fresh monsters, and more jedi powers from Grogu. Sure you can wait two months and binge it all at once but why? There’s nothing even close to this unique caliber of entertainment anywhere else. Catch it on Disney + every Wednesday dropping at 12am.
Let’s talk about why men pull away and then come back.
It could be a guy you’re casually seeing, or maybe it’s your long-term partner. No matter what the case, it’s disconcerting and you can’t help but feel panicked and on edge.
Did you do something to upset him? Is he losing interest in you? Does he want to break up with you?
These are all terrifying questions to ask … especially when it’s regarding a man you really care about.
The fact is, men do pull away and come back in relationships. It’s a naturally occurring cycle and happens for important reasons. Men and women are different and as such, the way they deal with emotions and stress can be different.
I know it feels confusing but it’s pretty simple really and I’m gonna break it all down for you.
Men typically retreat and withdraw into their “man cave” when dealing with stress or difficulties. That is just the way most men prefer to handle things, as opposed to most women who usually prefer to seek out and lean on those closest to them.
It feels good for a woman to talk to her close friends and family when she’s upset. This doesn’t feel good to most men. Most men feel ashamed when they’re off their game. And the last thing they want to do is be seen by others. Actually, that’s the second to last thing they want, the real last thing they would ever want is to be pitied and receive unsolicited advice from said pitiers. This is crushing and crippling to a man.
A man would much rather withdraw and work through whatever the issue is on his own, and then come back into the relationship when he’s feeling strong and confident again.
You may know about this on an intellectual level, but on an emotional level it hurts because you really wish he would just talk to you. You feel almost offended that he doesn’t want to open up to you. You might think it means he doesn’t really love or trust you. But that’s not the case. He does care, and that’s the reason he’s doing this! He cares so much about what you think that he doesn’t want you to see him when he’s not at his best.
Fine, maybe you would love him no matter what but it’s still not a good feeling for him. So he withdraws and takes space.
These are the most common reasons a man will pull away and take space from a relationship:1. He’s dealing with problems that have nothing to do with you.Maybe he’s stressed at work and his job isn’t going well, maybe he’s struggling with anxiety, maybe he’s having family issues, or maybe he’s having financial issues.
Life is filled with potential problems and setbacks, and when they arise, a man will want to take a step back to deal with them. Most men can only process one thing at a time, they can’t juggle and multi-task as efficiently as women. So when something comes up, he will put all his energy and attention into it.
- The relationship is moving too fast.Relationships often start out at lightning speed, and this isn’t always healthy. In the beginning, it’s all so exciting and exhilarating so the momentum is strong. You’re flying on a surge of feel-good hormones like Dopamine and Oxytocin.
It seems like things are going great, but a guy may panic at this point just a little bit because things are moving a little too quickly. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or isn’t interested, he just wants to slow things to a more comfortable pace. And really, what’s the rush here? This is a common occurrence in new relationships that started off with a bang.
- He’s having doubts about the relationship.This is more common in a long-term relationship. Look, sometimes people have doubts. That’s perfectly normal. If that’s what’s going on, he may want some time away to sort through his feelings. And this will work to your advantage because you not being there gives him the space to miss you.
What will have the opposite effect is if you go into overdrive trying to win him back and prove yourself to him. This will just make him resent you for being unable to give him something he needs (space) and it can make you come across as desperate and needy, which is never a good look.
- You’re doing something that’s causing him to withdraw.Maybe you’re being too clingy, too demanding, too negative, something along those lines is recurring in the relationship and he just doesn’t want to deal with it.
Most men want their lives easy and drama-free. The best relationship for a man is one that enhances his quality of life… not one that just adds more stress and burdens. This doesn’t mean you have to be on your best behavior at all times. You can certainly express negative emotions but there is a big difference between doing this in a way where you take ownership of your emotions and reactions… and one where you blame the other person or use your relationship as an emotional dumping ground.
As I said, the first scenario is the most common, but the others are likely as well. You’ll just have to assess your individual situation.
So What Should I Do When He’s Pulling Away?No matter why he’s pulling away, the advice on how to respond is the same: just give him space and let him do what he needs to do.
If he’s having doubts about you or the relationship, you being right there in his face will not change his mind, if anything it will make things even worse and he may become more annoyed with you and then he will really start rethinking the relationship.
Feeling upset can put us in a very selfish frame of mind. All we see is our pain and we try to find ways out of it. But you need to factor in how he’s feeling and what he needs, that’s what emotional maturity is all about. If he needs space, then it’s unfair of you to decide your need for him to be present is more important.
Try to maintain perspective here and realize that he’s doing what’s best for him, and what’s ultimately best for the relationship. If you just back off and give him space to naturally come back to you, then he will, and he’ll be even better and stronger and more of the partner you need. If you suffocate him, he’ll just resent you.
Just play it cool, focus on yourself, let him know you’re there if he wants to talk, and then just let it be.
Obviously, this shouldn’t drag on forever. He can’t just keep you on the back burner. So give it a few weeks and then reassess what’s going on. If he’s not coming back to you, then it’s likely that he doesn’t want to and is just buying more time.
Either way, use this time to better yourself. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationship. Look at your life and at the way you feel about yourself and see if you can find areas of improvement. Then set small, achievable goals for yourself to get there.
As the release for Scream VI approaches (this Friday, March 10, 2023), the Scream stans are coming out of the woodwork to extol the virtues of the now decades-long meta-horror that originally gave a rebirth to the genre back in the ’90s. But with a new Scream–this one set in the Big Apple–there are new horror rules.
Since Randy Meeks isn’t around to tell you what not to do, I’ll leave that up to me: A Day One Scream Fan. Would you survive Ghostface stalking you through the streets of New York? It all comes down to where you land in the horror fandom. How many horror movies have you seen? What kind of horror fan are you? Read on to see if you’d survive Scream VI.
You’ve never seen a horror movie and are too scared to start now.You definitely get extra points for being so precious and innocent. While that might have made you the “Final Girl” in any other horror movie franchise, it won’t let you live past the credits in Scream VI. You’ll make it far, but you lack the horror know-how to truly thwart a persistent Ghostface. RIP.
You actively hate horror and judge anyone who watches it.You’re really good at killing one thing: Parties. Have you ever heard of the expression “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum?” That holier-than-thou attitude means you won’t be surviving the Scream universe. In fact, you’ll probably be the first to go. (And the audience will cheer.)
You’ve watched the classics but you wouldn’t consider yourself a horror aficionado.If pressed (by a spooky and mysterious voice on the phone), you could probably answer some basic horror trivia questions. And if you found yourself in the movie, you know enough about the rules of slasher horror not to do something dumb like say, “I’ll be right back.” Your horror fandom cred is right alongside the forever Final Girl Sidney Prescott, so your success is all but assured.
You stick to your favorite genre and don’t venture past it.You’re not scared of horror, you just like what you like. Maybe you’re a slasher fan, like Scream, or go for the psychological stuff like Identity. Though you’re not as likely to live as the final girl from the previous category, there’s still a 50-50 chance you’ll walk away unscathed. After all, the Scream universe, unlike other franchises, lets a lot more people live than just the one survivor. I’ll cross my fingers for you!
You’re a well-rounded horror fan with a load of trivia tucked away in that nerdy brain of yours.Scream VI will need you around to tell the rest of the characters the new rules for survival. You’re the horror oracle, and your presence is a must. Well, at least for one movie. But just like Randy Meeks, you won’t last forever. [Insert cryface emoji here.] If Scream VI is your first movie, you’re good for now. If it’s your second or third, I’m sorry to say your usefulness has expired.
You delight in watching all the most hard-to-watch horror and judge anyone who doesn’t.You’ll survive riiiight up until the end, when it’s revealed that you’re the killer. Then you’ll be decimated to the delight of everyone watching. Because only a slasher horror villain would scoff at people who call themselves “horror fans” while avoiding the most disturbing and shocking horror. The horror fandom gatekeeping is such a Billy Loomis or Mickey thing to do. Congrats on being Ghostface! I’m sure you’ll be really interesting for about 90 minutes.
Scream VI arrives in theaters Friday, March 10, 2023.
What is Imposter Syndrome?People who struggle with Imposter Syndrome feel like they are undeserving of the recognition and accomplishments they have garnered. Although they may be highly intelligent, educated, skilled, competent or high-achieving, they fear they will be exposed to be less impressive than they are perceived to be by others. Individuals with Imposter Syndrome may misattribute their hard work, natural talents and the fruits of their labor to good luck or timing. In reality, they are more than deserving and worthy of the healthy praise and recognition they receive.
Imposter Syndrome was first identified in 1978 by researchers Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes. They noticed this phenomenon in high achieving women at universities. Since then, psychologists have noted that Imposter Syndrome may be present in approximately 25 to 30 percent of high achievers and is prevalent in marginalized groups such as underrepresented racial, ethnic and religious minorities. This makes sense, as marginalized individuals can experience microaggressions and discrimination at higher rates which may make them underestimate their own capacities even when they are high achieving and surpass their peers.
How Do Narcissistic Partners and Family Members Cause Imposter Syndrome?According to research, narcissistic individuals subject their partners and family members to distinct patterns of devaluation, envy, and rage. Romantic relationships with narcissists and psychopaths can even result in PTSD symptoms. One of the ways narcissistic individuals diminish their partners, family members, and co-workers is by belittling their skills, abilities, accomplishments, as well as their internal and external positive traits. This is how a narcissistic individual controls, isolates and polices his or her loved ones so they remain dependent on the narcissist’s validation. There are three main ways they instill a sense of imposter syndrome in their targets:
1. Minimizing or detracting from their accomplishments, especially through comparison or by misattributing these accomplishments to good luck or chance. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals are pathologically envious of the achievements of others. That is why they go out of their way to detract from your accomplishments. They may compare you to others (even if you surpass those people) to deflate your sense of pride in your achievements and diminish their perceived significance. Or they may claim that you were “lucky” in accomplishing your goals and attribute it to other traits you have (such as your appearance or assumed connections) even though they are well aware of your hard work and talent. This is a projection, as many narcissistic and psychopathic individuals exploit the labors of others, take advantage of any privileges they were born with, deceive, steal or leech off of others to get to where they are in the workplace and in society. As a result, they feel even more vindictive toward those who have achieved what they couldn’t organically without these privileges.
2. Distorting the positive qualities of their partners and loved ones to suggest they exhibit the opposite traits. Narcissists and psychopaths engage in “distortion” of their loved ones and people they feel threatened of. This is akin to metaphorically placing a funhouse mirror in front of their targets and bullying them into believing that the image they see reflected back is real. That is why they will insult or dismiss the intelligence of peers they deem intellectually superior or degrade the skill set of their more talented colleagues. In romantic or familial relationships, the narcissist or psychopath may nitpick on the exact qualities and assets that you have gotten the most positive feedback on from others to more effectively belittle and control you. For example, if you have just gotten your PhD, they may start diminishing your scholarly achievements and start to act as if they are more intelligent than you are. Or, if you’ve just gotten a job promotion, they might begin to put down your job title with contempt, even if they are not employed themselves. This can cause you to internalize their bullying and undervalue what you worked hard to accomplish. It can also make you view yourself as the “opposite” of who you truly are and what you’re capable of.
3. Attempting to sabotage the success of their partners and loved ones to derail their progress and destructively condition them to associate achievements with punishment. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals seek dominion over the lives of others, especially their loved ones. One way they establish this control is by trying to sabotage the personal and professional goals you set for yourself so you only depend on them for fulfillment. They know that if you have outside sources that bolster your self-esteem, you will be less susceptible to their manipulation. That is why narcissistic partners and family members tend to start arguments before significant milestones and celebrations (such as job interviews or graduations), why they manufacture chaos and sleep deprivation before important events (like job interviews or exams) and why they hypercriticize your good news (like a sudden increase in your paycheck). They want to destructively condition you to associate your sense of achievement with their subsequent punishment and retaliation. That way, you fear creating a fulfilling life outside of them.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath, it is important to recognize that they are the real imposters, usually posturing and exaggerating with a bravado or skill set they do not actually possess. You are the “real deal” – someone who has worked hard for their success with integrity, talent and ambition. You deserve the reap the fruits of your labor and to exhibit healthy pride in your accomplishments.
Translate the narcissist’s put-downs into your power by recognizing what they are truly saying when they attempt to demean you: “I am jealous of your skills, your abilities, and your accomplishments. I am envious of your potential and scared of what you are able to achieve. I want to control you and make you reliant on my approval only. Everything should be about me.” After you safely exit from this relationship, you must recondition your sense of accomplishment with the original joy and healthy pride you deserved to experience. As you begin to “translate” the narcissist’s words and behaviors into what they really mean and reclaim your life — and dreams — you will realize how powerful you truly are, and how powerful you’re capable of becoming.
It’s been nearly a full year since the slap heard round the world. The moment rapper / actor Will Smith stepped onstage and assaulted comedian Chris Rock in front of a live audience of Hollywood elites, isn’t something one easily forgets.
Yes, it was shocking. Sure, it was unexpected, but we all knew there would be a comeback. Famous or not, an audience member does not simply heckle or harass a great comedian in the middle of a set without opening the door for vicious mental repercussions. We were all ready for it, yet months and months later there was nothing.
In the oversaturated aftermath, we chewed though the replay, unending millions of media reactions, and dissected one of the oddest and most memorable moments in television history frame by frame.
Deep down though, everyone knew that at some point, the razor sharp mind of the legend that is Chris Rock would find his inevitable punchline. The only question was when. With so much time elapsing, the art of the counter dictates that too much space is now between the present and the incident. Saturday night in a live telecast, Chris Rock showed us that he doesn’t care for norms. He can rewrite the rules of the comeback.
Selective Outrage is the sixth entry in the career of headlining stand up specials from Rock. While Chris is no stranger to a hungry audience, this work in particular has been awaited more than any other previous, as we all knew at some point he was going to talk about Will Smith and let loose.
Up until now we’ve had little from Rock on the incident. He’s been methodical in picking his moment. Avoiding the subject almost completely in the last year’s material and not speaking on it in interviews, there was nothing but build to this special. In all likelihood that’s what got Chris a fast green light on this and a live airing which speaks of its anticipation.
On the other hand, we’ve heard plenty from Will Smith. In a July internet apology video that seemed quite sincere, and multiple interviews he hasn’t avoided talking about this at all. At this point he may be throwing genuine and heartfelt hail marys trying to save his career, or just saying what needs to be said and selling it. There’s no argument that the man is a gifted artist and could convince us of his sorrow without hesitation whether real or not. That said, we all want to believe Will is sorry and see him back, just maybe not at the Oscars anytime soon.
Apologies aside, no one likes a bully and Smith needs to take his medicine. He messed with a comedian and now it is finally time for payback. No matter what is said, he needs to swallow it and smile as just punishment. He should absorb it the same way Rock did his blow and carry on with dignity, calling it done and buried. Smith knew it would come, we all knew it would come. It’s been a year and now it was time for the comeback. And so it was that on March 4th Chris Rock picked his moment and set his trap.
Selective Outrage is easily Chris Rock’s best work since 2004’s Never Scared. Making keen insight into race, the royal family, wokeism, children, wealth, and dating as only he can, Chris still has the power to deftly control his audience and leave you gasping for air. At times he gets ahead of himself and stumbles on his own joke, but it is quickly forgotten as we all know this was his moment and he was building energy for the diss.
Throughout the set, multiple references to angering rappers via joke, are laid out and we bite. We wait, we watch for the man to deliver the death blow and yet he swerved back into his material and kept the laughs coming. Then it happened. In the final moments of his special Chris opens up and fells anyone who doubted him after the Oscars. He not only goes into detail on the incident but the reasons behind it, which of course had little to do with him and more to do with another’s damaged masculinity. Without giving away the punchline it’s safe to say that after nearly a dozen uses of the word “bitch” to describe his adversary, and not painting himself as a victim ever, he has easily defeated and eviscerated his cuckolded foe.
In many ways the infamous slap gave Chris something real to focus on. Since he found his success in the late 90’s he’s had his fingers on the pulse of societal differences and his observations were cutting edge. As with all artists, success and notoriety take the bite off both the message and the hunger. The slap reinvigorated Chris not only in the entirety of material in the special, but also in his Count of Monte Cristo style comedic revenge. He had something authentic to say that we can all identify with. Even the rich and famous can be bullied, even they can feel emasculated. What Chris did to react in his way, and end it in his own way in this special is something we can all marvel at. Available now on Netflix.
While trauma bonds can contain elements of codependency, not all people who are trauma bonded are codependents. There are important differences between trauma bonds and codependency.
People who are codependent have a pattern of forming relationships with others that tend to be nonreciprocal, one-sided or dysfunctional in some way. Although the term codependency was originally used to describe those who are in any kind of familial or romantic relationship with someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol, the term has since expanded to describe a wider range of relationships.
For example, a dysfunctional and codependent relationship can also include a partnership with someone who suffers from a untreated mental health condition or is addicted to things apart from substances such as gambling, overworking or sex. The codependent individual focuses their time and energy on “saving” the addicted partner and sacrifices their own needs to cater to them. These caretaking behaviors can become compulsive and time-consuming as codependent individuals feel overly responsible for their partners or family members and can derive a sense of fulfillment from feeling needed and important. However, they usually struggle with low self-esteem, a fear of abandonment, and depend heavily on relationships for their sense of self. They extend a great deal of empathy to others and very little compassion for themselves. While their addicted partner or family member may be addicted to substances or self-sabotaging and reckless activities, the codependent is addicted to relationships.
What is a Trauma Bond? How Is It Different from Codependency?
A trauma bond is an inextricable bond that a victim of abuse develops to their abuser out of a need for survival. This bond is cemented through the threat of danger and intermittent reinforcement of hot and cold behaviors from the abuser. Abusers with narcissistic and psychopathic traits tend to create especially powerful trauma bonds with their victims because of their callous-unemotional traits, strategic manipulation, cycles of love bombing and devaluation, and deliberate exploitation of others.
While trauma bonds can certainly contain aspects of codependency, people who suffer from a trauma bond are not necessarily codependent nor do they necessarily have a history of being codependent. Anyone, regardless of whether they have a pattern of codependency or not, can develop a trauma bond in an abusive relationship and they do not need to have a history of getting into one-sided relationships or caretaking people with addictions to do so. Some people who become trauma bonded to their abusers may actually have a history of healthy relationships, a healthy upbringing and stable self-esteem. They may be highly independent, self-sufficient, and self-assured. However, their abusers (especially if they are narcissistic or psychopathic) have insidiously eroded their boundaries, their perception of reality and sense of self over time through methods of coercive control and tactics like verbal abuse, gaslighting, projection, isolation, threats, rage attacks, stonewalling, and jealousy induction.
If you are both trauma bonded and codependent, then it’s likely you have experienced a pattern of seeking relationships where you habitually become the caretaker of your partner’s emotions and problems. You may have a history of getting involved with toxic and self-absorbed individuals, abusers, or with people who suffer from addictions. You derive your sense of self-worth from giving to those who cannot emotionally fulfill you and may revolve your identity around saving people who don’t wish to be saved. As a result, on the healing journey, not only will you need to break the trauma bond with your abuser, you will have to evaluate and heal from your relationship patterns and history.
Similarities Between Codependency and Trauma Bonding
There are similarities between codependent and “just” trauma bonded individuals. Both invest in a toxic relationship even when it continues to harm them. Both can be empathic to a fault to those who traumatize and mistreat them and suffer detrimental consequences to their mental and physical health as a result. Both can engage in a form of emotional caretaking of their partners or loved ones. For the codependent, this emotional caretaking is a way of life and this pattern likely originated in childhood, where a child was forced to take care of their parents due to an addiction or an untreated mental health condition. For the individual who is trauma-bonded to a specific abuser but doesn’t have a history of codependency, this emotional caretaking is a result of walking on eggshells and being conditioned by their abuser to comply to their demands, lest they face punishment.
Both trauma bonded and codependent individuals can suffer from lowered self-esteem. However, the codependent individual likely has had a long-term fear of abandonment and low self-esteem most of their lives. The codependent individual bolsters their fragile self-esteem by overextending themselves for people who cannot reciprocate. The trauma bonded individual finds that even if they did have high self-esteem, it is slowly but surely worn down by the aggressive tactics of their abusers.
The Big Picture: Whether you’re trauma bonded in an abusive relationship or have a history of codependency, it is important that you consult a trauma-informed mental health professional who can guide you in healing these patterns and in safely exiting unsafe relationships. You don’t have to live your life dependent on the person who perpetually harms you or continue seeking comfort from your perpetrators. It is time to stop saving others – and start saving yourself.
Sam (Melissa Barrera) and Tara (Jenna Ortega) are about to find out why New York City is such a scary horror movie setting in
Scream VI (2023).Horror movies love to play on our fear of the unknown. This is why so many horror movies are set in or near an unfamiliar location: a cabin in the woods, a foreign country, out in space or on the open road. Another factor at play is isolation. At a quiet cabin in the woods, victims can be picked off one by one without anyone noticing. It’s rare for horror movies to be located someplace crowded with people like a busy store, a packed subway car or a city in general.
Scream (1996) played on these fears by contrasting the horror of a pair of teenage masked killers against the seemingly safe backdrop of a quiet California community. As the franchise evolved, we saw Ghostface stalking a college campus and a Los Angeles movie set before returning to Woodsboro. Wherever characters thought they would be safe, Ghostface found a way to target them.
Sheriff Judy’s (Marley Shelton) broad daylight death scene was an especially chilling part of Scream (2022).One of the scariest scenes in the series happened in Scream (2022) when Sheriff Judy Hicks was stabbed in broad daylight in front of her suburban home. Surrounded by other houses and neighbors, it was shocking that no one intervened when it seems so unlikely that the attack went unnoticed by anyone. Were neighbors looking through the blinds afraid to intercede? Did they lock the doors while calling the police, hoping they wouldn’t be next?
At the end of Scream (2022) four young people, Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera), Mindy Meeks-Martin (Jasmin Savoy Brown), Chad Meeks-Martin (Mason Gooding), and Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega) have survived a series of grisly Ghostface attacks in their hometown. After the film ends, the foursome decide to start over in the big city. If a sleepy town like Woodsboro is unsafe, perhaps they think New York City with its crowds and close quarters might provide safety in numbers. In New York, they are joined by consummate survivor Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) and Kirby Reed (Hayden Panettiere), who survived Ghostface in Scream 4 (2011).
Survivors Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera), Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega), Mindy Meeks-Martin (Jasmin Savoy Brown), and Chad Meeks-Martin (Mason Gooding) will try their luck at escaping from Ghostface in New York City in Scream VI (2023).From previews we already know that Ghostface finds the survivors in New York City and for some, there won’t be any safety in being surrounded by millions of people. Scream VI’s trailer shows Sam and Tara running into a bodega and begging the shoppers inside to help them as Ghostface is right on their heels. This is the part of the horror movie where the would-be victims are supposed to be safe. They’ve reached civilization. The bodega is well-lit and filled with people who are willing to help the girls. One of them even has a gun. Horror audiences have been trained to think of this moment as the end. But Ghostface, always seemingly omnipotent, quickly disposes of the helpers and returns to stalking Sam and Tara. The message is clear: there is no safety to run to, no one who can come and help, there is just Ghostface and his victims.
Another released scene shows the four Woodsboro survivors riding the subway on Halloween. Are the Ghostfaces they see costumes? Or a cleverly disguised Ghostface knowing that on Halloween he can stalk openly in his mask? This scene shows that the same crowds of people who seem like they will provide protection can also hide a killer in their midst.
What will happen to our survivors when Ghostface finds them in New York City? We’ll find out when Scream VI premieres only in theaters on March 10.
Breaking up with a toxic person, narcissist, or psychopath is not easy, especially if you are in an abusive relationship with them. Leaving can be one of the most dangerous times for domestic violence victims. It is no surprise, then, that survivors of domestic violence attempt to leave the abusive relationship an average of seven times before they finally leave for good. This is usually due to the strength of trauma bonds, fear of retaliation, and diminished self-esteem that usually occurs in abusive relationships – as well as the many forms of emotional and financial dependence victims are coerced into by their abusers. Not only can narcissistic and psychopathic individuals be extremely manipulative and exploitative, they tend to have a sixth sense for when their partners are withdrawing from them and will usually try to manipulate them back into the cycle of abuse. In planning a break-up with a narcissist or psychopath, it’s important to be strategic and to anticipate the tactics of narcissists and psychopaths.
Here are a few different methods you can use if you are thinking of leaving a narcissist or psychopath for good. You may primarily choose one technique that best suits your circumstances or use a combination of tips from all these techniques. Remember to adapt tips to your own needs and always consider any safety concerns with a mental health professional and law enforcement.
1) The slow fade. This technique is used to incrementally detach from the narcissistic individual in a way that allows you to desensitize yourself slowly to their absence while escaping their notice. If you are not ready to leave the relationship yet or have other barriers in the way of leaving, the slow fade can be a more flexible way to recondition yourself to enjoying life without their interference. This is ideal for situations where you are not living with the narcissist, as some abusers may physically isolate and punish you for daring to live a life outside of them. This is also best for situations where the narcissistic individual is already devaluing you and attempting to use intermittent reinforcement (an alteration of mean and kind behavior) to keep you trauma bonded to them by giving you the bare minimum mixed with random incidents of affection and attention.
Do not settle for these crumbs. Instead, while they devalue you, re-idealize yourself. Use their silent treatments, absences, disappearances or sudden withholding as time for you to heal, recover and plan your departure. They key is taking advantage of these periods to benefit your mental and physical health. As you spend more of your time on self-care, healing, therapy, affirmations, career goals, exercise, hobbies, and support networks outside of the narcissist, these “periods of peace” will remind you of how joyful life can be without their abuse and mistreatment. The added bonus is that you will also be “leveling up” in areas of your life, which will make it more excruciating for you to be in the presence of someone who is continually trying to put you down and detracting from your otherwise positive experiences.
During this time, you will engage in “reality checking” to ensure you are in touch with the reality of the abuse and why you need to leave the relationship; these forms of reality checking tap into the prefrontal cortex of the brain which is often dampened in the face of trauma. In order to calm the hyperactive “emotional” amygdala and reconnect with the more “reasoning” part of their traumatized brains, survivors can find it helpful to visit forums, websites, or read books on narcissism and manipulation during this time to better identify the tactics they were subjected to. It is also recommended that you process your traumas in therapy with a trauma-informed counselor familiar in abuse dynamics. Eventually, you will get to a place where you know you can survive without them and be ready to leave when the time comes.
2) The reverse discard and the grey rock method. The reverse discard is when you subtly push the narcissistic individual to discard you first so that there is a reduced chance of narcissistic rage or retaliation since they feel they have “won” the break-up. One of the most effective ways to induce a reverse discard is by using what is known as the grey rock method. This is when you become flat, boring and lifeless to the narcissist in a way they cannot extract narcissistic supply (e.g. praise, attention, sex, resources, ego strokes, positive or negative reactions) from you anymore. Narcissists and psychopaths thrive in manufacturing chaos. When they realize they can no longer provoke the same emotions and reactions as they once did, they will become dissatisfied and hungry to meet their needs. As a result, they will usually start to look for narcissistic supply elsewhere.
While using the grey rock method, it is best to keep interactions short, brief, and nonchalant. Try to offer “yes” or “no” replies to questions whenever possible, or detached responses that signal acknowledgment but not engagement, such as “Hmm,” “Interesting,” “I see,” or “Thanks for telling me that.” It is best to use this method when you believe you won’t be as emotionally traumatized or harmed by the narcissist discarding you first, and when you don’t anticipate there will be as much punishment for your lack of reactions to them.
3) The great illusion. In this break-up technique, you pretend that nothing has changed in your relationship with the narcissist. You act as if their manipulation methods (such as love bombing) are working to maintain your interest in them. This is to fall under the radar and flee their detection as you plan your escape safely. While they assume you’re still entrenched in the abuse cycle and besotted with them, you will use this period of time to strategically prepare: whether that means getting your finances together, documenting the abuse if you want to bring a legal case against your abuser, consulting with a divorce lawyer, researching custody laws in your state, or looking for your new home. This break-up method can be especially effective in cases where you are cohabiting with or are married to the narcissist, or there is a threat of immediate retaliation or narcissistic rage. If you are escaping a physically violent relationship of any kind, ensure that you have a safety plan in place.
4) Cold turkey and the last straw method. Cold turkey endings are best for survivors who are already mentally ready to leave the relationship but need that final “push” to make the decision to end it with finality. You may or may not need to experience a last straw to finally go cold turkey for good; some survivors wait for a minor incident that finally allows them to remember they are no longer able to tolerate mistreatment in the relationship, while others are able to cut ties swiftly without such a last straw. To hold yourself accountable, you may choose to tell a trusted friend about ending the relationship or do something too “final” to backtrack too easily on (such as signing the lease on a new apartment far away from the narcissist or blocking them on all social media channels – any step that reminds you of how far you’ve come and will push you to take those final additional steps to leaving for good). Cold turkey endings means no contact and cutting all contact with the narcissist, their cronies and removing any reminders of the narcissist from your life. You do not allow the narcissist to ensnare or “Hoover” you back into the cycle of abuse nor do you give them any opportunity or means to contact you.
5) Exposure “therapy.” While this technique is not for everyone, some individuals find it too difficult to leave a narcissist due to deep-rooted abandonment issues and the strength of the trauma bond. That is why they will remain in the relationship until they have had enough. This technique is not recommended for most people due to the risk of trauma, but it will help some people who otherwise might not leave to leave an abusive relationship for good without looking back make use of their time in the relationship. Sometimes, survivors feel the compulsion to “check” if the narcissist really is as harmful as they think they are due to the heavy amount of cognitive dissonance that has resulted from the relationship. Since they already feel too “stuck” to exit the relationship, they approach this as an exercise to continually experience the truth of the abuser’s true self until they have seen what they have needed to see – the strength of the abuser’s malice, callousness, and lack of empathy for them. While this is occurring, survivors can use reality checking to identify the tactics they’re experiencing and document the abuse. Only then do they connect with their authentic outrage at being violated, resolve some of the cognitive dissonance as they see the abuser’s true self behind the false mask, and this helps to sever the trauma bond as they feel empowered to leave.
No matter what method you choose to cut ties with a narcissist, it’s important to engage in safety planning and consult a trauma-informed therapist or law enforcement if there is abuse of any kind in the relationship. While narcissists and psychopaths are focused on “winning,” and one-upping you, you must keep your eye on the real prize: your freedom, safety, and the possibility of a joyful life ahead. That is how you really “win” and thrive after the break-up with a toxic person.
Fringe and fur. Brocade and lace. All the textures! The fashion from the first few episodes of Daisy Jones & The Six, releasing today on Amazon Prime, have me seriously wishing for a full 1970s fashion comeback. It isn’t just bellbottoms and denim on denim (though there’s plenty of that too–especially for Billy Dunne and the rest of the guys in The Six). Daisy, Camila, and Karen’s outfits should all be in our closets, stat. While there are definitely more “far out” gems to come in future episodes, these are some of the best outfits rocking the screen so far.
Daisy’s All-Coat, No-Top MomentAmazon StudiosHonestly, this whole outfit is iconic. The brown and gold suede boots matching her shorts? The color-blocked suede and fur coat over no top at all? Why show off midriff in today’s crop tops when you can go completely bare? Riley Keough’s Daisy Jones is sporting the topless look that was popular during the bra-burning era of 1970s American hippie culture. With the early 2010s’ “Free the Nipple” movement, it’s certainly a welcome way to stick it to the man.
Camila’s Soft Macramé Halter DressAmazon StudiosOf all the ways to wear straps, the 1970s were all about the halter. If you weren’t baring your shoulders, you weren’t truly living. This soft, romantic halter dress, worn by Camila Morrone’s Camila Dunne, has everything you wanted in the ’70s. The halter neckline, the vague tie-dye, the macramé lace at the midriff. Sometimes you just want to sprawl out in a meadow like the Bohemian goddess you are. (Or in Camila’s case, record your husband’s rock band for posterity.)
Daisy’s Brocade JacketAmazon StudiosIt wasn’t all fur and tie-dye. A big trend in the 1970s hippie movement was intense brocade. That’s the thick embroidered fabric that’s making Daisy Jones’ jacket look so lush and amazing in the above shot. It’s giving “I turned my grandma’s old couch into a jacket,” and I’m here for it. If anyone’s sofas become mysteriously bare, you know why.
Daisy’s Stage-Ready Flowing FringeAmazon StudiosOf course, look to Daisy’s stage outfits for some real retro bangers. Here, she’s got on a gorgeous sparkly top and short skirt with black fringe flowing down from the lacy edges. Over the top, she’s got the flowing shawl that gives a nod to the real lead singer that’s at least partly the inspiration for Taylor Jenkins Reid’s novel: Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac. If you really want some IRL stage presence, spin around with a flowy layer of mesh and lace like this one.
Want more outfit inspiration? Check out new episodes of Daisy Jones & The Six releasing every Friday now through March 24, 2023, only on Amazon Prime.
“I still feel you all around.” – Taylor Swift, “Marjorie”
“Does anyone want a waffle maker?” Uncle Gil asked in our absurdly large family group chat. We were preparing to sell my grandparents’ home, both of whom had recently passed on, Granny in April 2020, and Grandpa in July 2022. As such, we were beginning to clear out the relics of lives once lived. DVDs and floral candle holders with candle sticks that had well-worn wicks. Grandpa’s dozens of hockey trophies and coffee cups. Side tables and couches and photographs of all of our shared memories.
“I’ll take it!” I texted back. I also was able to snag the Keurig and a few other pieces of decor, including the floral candle holders that belonged to Granny and her gold jewelry box where I now keep a pair of pearl earrings she used to wear, too.
I have to admit, there’s a weird sense of guilt in taking your grandparents’ items. Sure, they don’t need them anymore but being excited about finally getting a Keurig, but only because your grandparents died, does create a peculiar juxtaposition of feelings. It almost feels like you’re taking advantage of a situation you wish never happened (even though it was also unavoidable). But still, that shame and sadness lingers and you wish you could trade the damn coffee maker for just a little more time with the people it belonged to first.
The things I wish I could take with me from Granny and Grandpa’s are the feelings. The warmth. The sense of safety. The inkling everything was going to be okay. That I was okay, too. Because as someone who struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, I have always had the belief that I am difficult to love. And at 31, I still feel this way most days. Granny and Grandpa never made me feel that way, though. Even when I was at my most unwell, Granny and Grandpa would welcome me into their home on Ivanhoe. I spent a lot of time there during the summer before and after senior year of high school.
Ivanhoe became my safe place, a refuge from the storm my mind was trying to kill me with. The clouds always seemed to clear the second I stepped through their front door.
Recently, I found a box full of memories that had a note Granny wrote me for high school graduation in 2010. At that time, I was 18 and volatile and sad and stubborn and ashamed at the fact I couldn’t be any better and do any better either.
“I wish I could keep you just as you are,” Granny had written.
I immediately burst into tears.
Despite the emotional disarray that has held me hostage, Granny still saw good in me somehow. And because I trust her, I’m starting to believe maybe that there is (and was) goodness in me, along with my fraying edges and short fuse.
At Grandpa’s funeral, Uncle Gil gave the eulogy. He based it on the word happenstance, a phenomenon that truly defined Grandpa’s life. Things just always seemed to work out for him. He was always at the right place, at the right time.
The best part was Grandpa truly recognized his luck. He always knew when he had something special in front of him, and he always made sure to make the most of the serendipitous encounters as well.
When we were clearing out Granny and Grandpa’s house, my cousin happened to stumbled across a note my Grandpa had written to himself:
“As I have learned over and over, ‘Faith, family, & friends are indeed the greatest treasures of life.’ How true! G”
“You’ll never meet anyone like him again,” Mom said after he passed. She’s right; I know I won’t. None of us will. But the truth of the matter is we are all witnesses of happenstance, too.
After all, we had him. And we were lucky.
When someone you love dies, you try to find little signs that they were here and loved you once, and usually this evidence exists in the things they left behind. When I make my coffee in the morning, I always think about Grandpa offering me a cup of coffee whenever I used to visit.
On Granny’s 80th birthday, we were all given tiny, glass bluebird figurines, a memento that watches over me on the shelf as I wash my dishes. When I glance up at the bluebird, I like to think of Granny bustling around in her own kitchen with the floral wallpaper, a place where we all spent so much time growing, loving, and laughing.
It’s been said that grief is love with nowhere to go but I don’t think that’s entirely true anymore. I’m beginning to realize that maybe the leftover love we have for the people who have passed on does have somewhere to go, and that’s because that love never left us.
It lives on within us.
Granny got distracted easily but also loved to pay attention. To everything all at once. She’d notice a little haphazard tree while driving or the flowers someone lovingly planted in front of their home. She saw things just begging to be admired that no one else seemed to care about. So she picked up the slack. She was in awe of the world.
She noticed the good in me, too. And everyone, really. She understood people in a way most others do not.
I know I will never meet anyone like her again either. But I’m lucky I did.
Happenstance.
On the day of Grandpa’s funeral, we went back to the yellow house on Ivanhoe that raised our family after the service and the wake. Everything that had been there with us was there. The “BURFORD” mailbox. The Jesus stone statue in the backyard. The floral wallpaper. Everything felt familiar but so very different all at once.
After dinner, Aunt Beth resembled her mother, fumbling with the dishes, and cleaning up the mess we made.
“How can I help?” I asked, even though I realized I was probably 30 minutes too late and the dishwasher was running and most things were back in their proper places. Aunt Beth smirked at me and we laughed.
The Ivanhoe house was sold last summer to a lovely woman and her family. I like to think of the memories they’ll create there. I hope they feel the warmth, too. I pray they’ll sense that everything will be okay, too, and that they are enough as they are.
I think they will. How could they not? They’re at the right place, at the right time.
Happenstance.
Attachment Styles and Avoidant Attachment: Childhood and AdulthoodBased on the experiment “The Strange Situation,” psychologist Mary Ainsworth as well as researchers Solomon and Main identified four main attachment styles in children. In the Strange Situation experiment, infants were temporarily separated from their mothers while in an unfamiliar, novel environment with toys and were given the opportunity to interact with a stranger who comes in. They were also left completely alone during one point in the experiment to observe their behavior in the new environment, and then later reunited with their mother.
The following childhood attachment styles from this experiment were identified: 1) secure attachment 2) avoidant attachment 3) anxious attachment and, as identified by researchers Solomon and Main in 1986, 4) disorganized attachment. For adult relationships, researchers Dr. Cindy Hazan and Dr. Phillip Shafer also later developed a model to describe adult attachment styles in romantic relationships, adapting these four styles of attachment into adult patterns of attachment: 1) secure, 2) dismissive-avoidant, 3) anxious-preoccupied, and 4) fearful-avoidant.
When children have a secure attachment, they are able to explore new environments with ease, using their parents as a “secure base” to return to after separation. They readily connect with their caregivers when they feel distressed, feel supported by their parents and are receptive to being comforted by their caregivers when anxious. Similarly, adults with a secure romantic attachment style are receptive to the support of their partners and feel free to communicate their needs while exhibiting a healthy level of independence.
In avoidant attachment, children do not explore new environments as much nor do they interact much with the stranger in the room, but they also don’t appear to be upset when their mother leaves and may even ignore her when she returns, avoiding eye contact and physical affection. These children have often experienced unempathic responses from their parents to their distress which has caused them to develop hyperindependence as they no longer expect the caregiver to meet their emotional needs. While avoidantly attached children do not seem to seek physical or emotional closeness with the parent, they still experience stress and anxiety even if they don’t display it. Adults with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style also tend to distance themselves from intimacy and closeness in relationships and become hyperindependent. They may choose partners who are open and vulnerable but be unable to reciprocate this same openness and vulnerability.
Children with an anxious attachment seek more reassurance from their caregivers and may cling to them upon separation and reunion due to inconsistent responses from their parents to their emotional needs. Adults with an anxious-preoccupied attachment may also seek additional reassurance from their partners, fear abandonment and depend on their partners excessively for comfort.
Disorganized attachment occurs when children are ignored or punished for their emotions, and therefore develop a simultaneous need for closeness and fear of getting close to their caregivers. Children who have a more disorganized attachment style can display contradictory behaviors which can include both anxious and avoidant behaviors. Similarly, adults with fearful-avoidant attachment may seek closeness from their partners while simultaneously pushing them away due to the fear of rejection.
Narcissism and Avoidant Attachment Styles: Is There a Link?The connection between narcissism and attachment styles is a complex one. Studies on a direct association between narcissism and an avoidant attachment style have yielded inconsistent results. However, some research indicates that there may be a link between attachment avoidance and aspects of grandiose, overt narcissism (the subtype of narcissism associated with high self-esteem and self-aggrandizement). For example, attachment avoidance had a direct positive effect on both narcissistic admiration (assertive self-enhancement to garner admiration from others) and narcissistic rivalry (antagonistic self-protection meant to battle failure), both aspects of grandiose narcissism. Attachment anxiety, on the other hand, was shown to be negatively associated with self-enhancement and yet also positively associated with narcissistic rivalry, which is more in line more with the behaviors of the covert, vulnerable subtype of narcissism (this subtype is associated with hypersensitivity, low self-esteem and fearfulness). Vulnerable narcissists may use less self-aggrandizing strategies that emphasize their own inadequacy to garner attention, yet also lash out in response to perceived slights just like grandiose narcissists do.
While evaluating the research literature, it’s important not to conflate narcissistic personality disorder with “just” an attachment style, even if certain avoidant or anxious attachment strategies are present. It is true that narcissistic individuals can have what appears to be an avoidant attachment style, especially if they have grandiose narcissistic traits, or may even present with an anxious attachment style if their traits fall into the category of vulnerable narcissism. However, their core lack of empathy and callous exploitation of others differentiates narcissists from “just” avoidantly or anxiously attached individuals.
It would be remiss to suggest that narcissism is primarily an attachment style, which some people mistake it as. It is a personality disorder with dire implications for interpersonal functioning.While narcissists can use a variety of strategies that may appear linked to more avoidant styles of attaching (such as stonewalling and the silent treatment, or devaluation), or even anxious styles of attaching and relating (like micromanaging their partners, “controlling” their partner under the guise of care, or jealousy induction to test the relationship), narcissism includes aggressive, manipulative ways of behaving that dominate relationships.
It is important that when we assess the overlaps between narcissism and the strategies of an avoidant attachment style, we still see the disorder for what it is: a serious disorder with a challenging prognosis, and one that, according to research, often includes interpersonal harm, bullying and aggression against others. These aggressive modes of relating can lead to PTSD symptoms in the loved ones of narcissistic individuals. As researchers Miller, Campbell, and Pilkonis note, one of the unique and defining characteristics of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is that, unlike many other disorders where suffering and distress is most present in the individual who has it, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is more closely associated with causing pain and suffering to others.
Unlike avoidantly attached individuals who may simply fear closeness or intimacy with others and distance themselves or anxiously attached individuals who may cling to their partners, narcissistic individuals can fail to attach in healthy ways at all, even when they seem to approach their partners initially with an immense amount of intimacy and closeness. Due to their emotional shallowness, the euphoria they experience during love bombing their targets is the closest they may experience to authentically bonding and attaching with another person. Narcissistic individuals tend to detach moreso than attach to their partners and family members and view them more as objects than as human beings. They identify what needs can be met from these “objects” and view interactions with others as transactional. This is known as narcissistic supply – any source of attention, praise, resources, sexual gratification that can bolster their ego. They then devalue and discard these “objects” when they deem them no longer “useful” or too difficult to extract supply from. Narcissists also tend to experience a lack of object constancy, which enables them to mistreat and terrorize their partners and loved ones with little inhibition, because they do not hold onto the love or positivity that healthily attached people do during disagreements or conflicts.
As a result, calling narcissism an attachment style can misrepresent the true nature of narcissism. Such an implication erases accountability from exploitative and manipulative narcissistic behaviors, and also imposes tropes of childhood trauma that may or may not exist. For example, a wealth of research indicates that it is parental overvaluation, not childhood maltreatment, that may be the strongest predictor of narcissistic traits. Yet characterizing narcissistic personality disorder as primarily a mode of attachment can cause people to assume that a certain level of childhood trauma is what drives aggressive narcissistic behaviors toward others, and even excuse or rationalize these behaviors, rather than holding people responsible for changing these behaviors.
Lack of self-love is probably the biggest hindrance to finding and having romantic love.
When you don’t love yourself, how will you ever trust that anyone could actually love you?
Self-esteem doesn’t just mean “feeling good about yourself.” Self-esteem is built on being good, competent, and lovable and recognizing it. And loving yourself doesn’t mean you love everything about yourself. It means you realize you are lovable and worthy of love.
I’m going to share how to know if you lack self-love as well as tips for how to improve your self-esteem.
Here are the signs your self-love tank is low.
- You can’t just be yourself.People who love themselves can just be. There are comfortable and confident navigating any situation and trust that they’ll be able to handle anything.
People who are insecure or don’t love themselves often engage in “masking,” which means they try to conform to societal expectations by being whatever they think they should be, or who others expect them to be.
They may feel anxious or nervous in social situations, almost as if they’re afraid of being “found out” and their real self exposed.
- You are worried about what other people think.Look, we all worry a little bit about what other people think. But for people lacking self-love, the worry is louder and all-consuming.
The reason is they don’t have a solid sense of self, so they look to the outside to give it to them. And there’s a lot at stake when you do that.
If someone approves of you, you’re relieved, you feel OK. If someone rejects you, then you’re worthless, a loser.
Other people’s opinions are everything to you and one slightly negative remark can ruin your entire day or week or month!
- You are extremely sensitive to criticism.No one likes too criticized, but it happens, it’s life. And we’re all flawed!
If someone criticizes you and you have an extreme reaction, it’s because you already believed that thing to be true- you just wish it wasn’t true.
If you love yourself, you can accept that “OK, I’m not perfect, I have flaws, and I know I can work on them.”
If you don’t love yourself, you will be furious when someone criticizes you. Or you may feel ashamed and humiliated as if you’ve been found out, that this thing you’re trying to hide is obvious to others.
- Excessive people pleasing.People who don’t love themselves rely on others as a gauge of how lovable they are. They may put someone else’s needs above their own in order to please them and gain their approval.
In a relationship, this will play out when a woman doesn’t love herself, tries to prove her worth to a man, does everything to please him, make him happy, and bend over backward to get him to love her. She mistakenly believes if she does that, then she’ll be worthy and deserving, but that’s not where self-love comes from.
- You don’t trust your own judgment.You struggle to make decisions and when you do make a decision, you fear it’s the wrong one.
You are never totally sure of your decisions and can’t trust yourself so you second guess and are consumed with self-doubt.
You may not trust your own intuition which can cause you to stay with someone who treats you terribly. Maybe you think you don’t deserve better or maybe you just can’t see clearly and write off his behavior as “not being so bad.”
- You feel like an imposter.Also known as “imposter syndrome.” You basically doubt yourself and your abilities and feel like a fraud. Like someday everyone is going to discover the deep dark secret that you actually aren’t the person they all thought you were.
You don’t really trust positive feedback. You feel like anything you accomplish is due to luck or an accident.
- Negative self-talk.If you lack self-love, you will always be bashing yourself. We all do this to a certain extent but it’s important to notice when you are and nip it in the bud.
Once you start down that path, it’s so easy to keep sliding into more and more negative thoughts until you’ve constructed a completely insane scenario where you’re an ugly troll living under a bridge because you’re not good enough and no one wants you or even likes you.
How crazy does that sound? But that’s where our minds take us when we just roll with the negative self-talk.
Negative thoughts are like magnets, they attract more and more negativity and the cycle can spin out of control on an endless, torturous loop.
- You don’t take care of yourselfAnother major sign that you’re lacking self-love is you have unhealthy coping mechanisms. This could include starving, binging, excessive drinking, excessive attention-seeking from men, addiction to other things, and “hustling” so hard work is your only hobby.
You veer more toward self-destructive behaviors to cope because deep down you don’t believe you are worthy of feeling good, healthy, and happy.
Maybe you don’t feel like you deserve to treat yourself right, maybe your lack of self-love has led you into a depression and you don’t have the motivation to do things that will benefit you and be healthy for you. Maybe you feel like you deserve to suffer and be punished for being so terrible.
- Inferiority complex.You just feel inferior and constantly compare yourself to others and feel like you come up short. This could be people in your circle or even worse, strangers on social media.
We all do this from time to time— it’s hard not to!— but people who lack self-love are much more prone to these toxic comparisons and use it to fuel their underlying belief that they are not good enough.
- You need constant reassurance.In a relationship, this manifests as you constantly needing assurance from your partner that they won’t leave, that they still love you, etc. You don’t really trust it because you don’t love yourself. You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop and this puts you on edge all the time.
You may also need constant reassurance from others. Whether it’s fire emojis on Instagram or constant praise from your boss that you’re doing a good job, positive feedback from teachers, constantly making sure your friends aren’t mad at you and everything is good… this endless quest is just exhausting and it doesn’t keep your tank full for long. You are always looking for another fix because your sense of worth isn’t stable.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying praise and compliments, but it becomes a problem when you need it and can’t feel secure without it.
- You can’t or don’t have healthy relationships.You may struggle in relationships because you’re too needy and drain the other person, and that can be exhausting and end up pushing people away.
Or maybe you can’t connect. Maybe you keep others at a distance because you’re afraid of rejection because you’re scared of getting hurt or you just feel unlovable and unworthy.
If this list made you realize you lack self-love, here are some tips to work on it and improve:
- Take control of your thoughts.Your thoughts don’t have to control you. While you can’t block every single negative thought, you can choose how to react to it or whether you want to believe it.
Pluck out those negative thoughts like weeds and tell yourself the opposite. Treat your mind like a garden and start planting positive things in there. If you keep it up, you’ll see those thoughts grow into something really beautiful.
- Challenge yourself.Self-esteem comes from pushing past our comfort zone. It comes from setting goals and working toward achieving them.
Do something even when you don’t feel like it. Push yourself to learn new things, do new things, and explore. Give yourself an outlet to feel good and try something you haven’t done before. It’s a great way to have fun and build your confidence.
- Be ActiveBeing physical is proven to make you feel good. No one comes home from the gym full of regret or saying: “Wow, I wish I hadn’t done that.”
You’re taking care of yourself in more ways than one when you move your body, especially when you find something you really enjoy. It doesn’t have to be at the gym. Just make it consistent and a priority.
- Forgive yourself.So, you’ve made mistakes. It’s OK. We all have!
Here’s a secret. No one is thinking about you as much as you are. You are the only one bringing up that embarrassing thing you said in 6th grade or the time you tripped over your own two feet in a crowded coffee shop.
Who cares! Forgive yourself and move on because you have too many great things to do to get stuck in past mistakes.
- Be grateful.It’s very hard to be in a negative space when you are filled with gratitude.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed or in a low mindset, I take some time to sit and just focus on breathing and all the things I’m grateful for in the moment. It’s such an amazing shift to have and it’s so easy to do.
- You Will Be OK.Self-esteem essentially comes down to the belief that no matter what happens, you’ll be OK. You’ll be able to deal with it. You’ll get through it.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times this simple little phrase has saved my sanity. Remember, you’ve survived every one of your worst days.
What is Cognitive Dissonance? Social psychologist Leon Festinger proposed a theory called cognitive dissonance to describe how conflicting thoughts, beliefs and behaviors can cause an uncomfortable discrepancy. Cognitive dissonance can occur when people learn new information that contradicts their beliefs (belief-disconfirmation), when they act in a way that contradicts their beliefs possibly due to anticipated reward or punishment (induced compliance), or when they engage in an undesirable activity to meet a desired goal (effort-justification). These uncomfortable discrepancies can compel people to try to resolve the cognitive dissonance by changing their thoughts, beliefs or behaviors to restore a sense of consistency and stability.
Neuroscience research indicates that cognitive dissonance activates certain brain regions which affect our decision-making, the processing of our emotions and the avoidance of aversive outcomes, such as the medial prefrontal cortex, the insula and the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. To resolve cognitive dissonance, people may do one of the following: 1) change their behavior to resolve the conflict 2) change one of their conflicting thoughts in an attempt to justify continuing the behavior 3) add other “consistent” or consonant thoughts to build a case for one thought over the other or 4) minimize the significance of the inconsistency (or dissonant thoughts) or increasing the significance of consonant thoughts.
Cognitive Dissonance and Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths
Research indicates that people in romantic relationships with narcissistic and psychopathic individuals can experience PTSD symptoms related to the relationship. While the harm arising from these relationships is apparent, cognitive dissonance is still prevalent in these types of relationships due to the manipulation and gaslighting survivors are often subjected to. In the realm of intimate partner violence, studies show that abuse victims who are bonded to their abusers (abusers who tend to have antisocial or narcissistic traits) may resolve cognitive dissonance by minimizing or justifying the abuser’s behavior to cope with the trauma of the abuse, engage in self-blame, or reinterpret the aggression in a way that allows for positive feelings about the abuser to continue (i.e. “They were just joking. They didn’t mean it like that”). They may also blame the abuse on an external source, such as substances.
These justifications and leniency are subconscious attempts to resolve cognitive dissonance and tend to make the victim more tolerant of the abuse over time in more committed relationships due to the higher levels of investment. It is also clear that narcissistic abusers use gaslighting tactics to blameshift and to evade accountability for their abuse, which can instill or exacerbate self-blame.
How to Reduce/Fight Back Against Cognitive DissonanceHere are some powerful ways you can cognitively reframe your experiences with a narcissistic or psychopathic abuser to resolve cognitive dissonance in ways that protect and benefit yourself instead:
1. Reconcile the differences between the narcissist’s true self and their false self by identifying that it is part of their manipulation. Identifying the narcissist’s true self and their false self is key to resolving cognitive dissonance. Narcissists and psychopaths engage in emotional shape-shifting and chameleon-like behavior to dupe their targets. This is because they are emotionally shallow and do not experience the strong emotions or empathy they claim to feel for others. They can don different personas to make you question yourself and the mistreatment you’re experiencing. That is why you tend to experience Jekyll and Hyde behavior from them to disorient you and make you walk on eggshells – because they are shifting between different identities to get their needs met from other people.
This can create dissonant thoughts and beliefs about who the narcissist really is, and make you engage in specific behaviors or rationalizations to “justify” staying in the relationship. For example, abuse victims may start to believe that they are the ones who are “causing” the narcissist’s behavior when in reality the narcissistic individual follows these manipulative patterns with most of their partners. Or they may gaslight themselves into believing that the narcissist is the loving, empathic partner they portrayed themselves to be in the beginning who “occasionally” gets frustrated and lashes out, minimizing the frequency of the actual abuse. The narcissist will actively add to this cognitive dissonance by blaming you for their abuse and claim that you are the only one who has ever had this problem with them.
In order to resolve this dissonance, you must realize that the positive qualities the narcissist portrayed in the beginning is unlikely to be an identity your narcissistic partner embodies long-term. See it as an initial mask they wore to lure you into the relationship – a mask constructed to appeal to your unique needs, wants, and desires. Once they take this mask off and begin to devalue you, you witness their true colors and their lack of empathy and character. It can help to make a list of the qualities you witnessed in their false self, with a heading like, “The narcissist pretended to be this.” Then, next to this list, write down the qualities you’re experiencing now under the heading, “This is who they really are.”
2. Identify the sunk cost fallacy and any fear of “missing out” of the narcissist’s potential and realize that you do not miss the narcissist, but rather who they pretended to be. In the economics world, the sunk cost fallacy is when a person continues to invest in a behavior, endeavor or undertaking due to the time, energy, and resources they’ve put into it already, regardless of the losses or risks they have incurred and will continue to incur. Think about all that this toxic relationship has already cost you in comparison to the meager benefits. The narcissist may have used tactics such as future faking and love bombing to make you believe in their potential. Now, it’s time to get in touch with the reality of the dark future that awaits if you continue to engage with them. Read stories from other survivors who have survived this type of abuse in long-term marriages to better understand how a narcissistic or psychopathic individual can change your life-course trajectory and cause severe trauma. Ask yourself, what risks and losses will I face in continuing in this relationship?
Identifying the narcissist’s true self and the harm they have caused – and the harm they will inevitably cause in the future – will allow you to look at your own sunk cost fallacy more critically and realize that there is no “payoff” or positive return to the investment you’re putting into the relationship. In fact, you stand to lose more than you will ever gain should you choose to stay in such a relationship. Remember: you are no longer in a relationship with the false persona they depicted in the beginning – so you cannot anticipate a future with their potential. You must anticipate the traumatic future that awaits with their true self. You do not miss the narcissist. You miss who they pretended to be.
3. Learn about the most common manipulation tactics and identify the ones that have been used against you. When you are not aware of the various manipulation tactics narcissists and psychopaths engage in, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame, or minimizing and rationalizing the narcissist’s actions as accidental or just part of the spectrum of “normal” human imperfections. Differentiate between normal human flaws and pathological behavior by assessing the tactics narcissists and psychopaths use frequently to exploit others. Identify tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, hoovering, dog-whistling, projection, countering, jealousy induction and other diversion tactics that narcissists use to keep you off-kilter and dependent on their validation. Write down or recall how each tactic has been used against you to make you feel like you are the unworthy one who has been “provoking” the narcissist. In reality, the narcissist or psychopath has been repeatedly provoking you and going out of their way to cause you distress.
4. Reality check the narcissist’s pity ploys and rationalizations – and your own justifications of their behavior. Survivors of abuse can fall into the trap of rationalizing the narcissist’s behavior as stemming from uncontrollable anger or minimize abusive incidents. Ask yourself how their behaviors can be accidental if they rarely take place in front of other witnesses. For example, why doesn’t the narcissist or psychopath rage at their boss like they rage at you behind closed doors, if their behavior is so uncontrollable and out of frustration? Is it because they know they will be held accountable and suffer consequences, which means they are fully in control of their behavior, know right from wrong and aware of what behavior they can and can’t get away with? If you assume that the narcissist’s childhood trauma is the source of their behavior, ask yourself why so much research indicates that parental overvaluation, not childhood maltreatment, causes narcissistic traits.
Even if they were traumatized, why is it that you yourself or other people you know have also experienced childhood trauma yet do not hurt innocent people? If the narcissist often stages pity ploys to convince you that they are the victim, ask yourself why you are always the one being harmed? Who is the true victim here – the one who is experiencing distress? Why is it that only the narcissist or psychopath can use anything negative that has happened to them in the past to justify harming you, when there are complex trauma survivors in the world who have never used their history to justify harming innocent people and may even use their past as an incentive to treat others more kindly? You’re an empathic person who extends empathy even to the narcissist harming you – yet the narcissist is habitually unempathic and callous toward others. Given this information, who do you think is really the source of relationship troubles here? Questions like these will help you to ground yourself in the reality of the narcissist’s willful abuse – and in the true nature of the narcissist.
The Big Picture: Battling cognitive dissonance in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath can be overwhelming. It can be helpful to consult a trauma-informed mental health professional during your healing journey to guide you in processing your traumas. Use these exercises to identify your cognitive dissonance, your conflicting thoughts and beliefs about the abusive relationship and clear the mental fog so you can safely exit the relationship.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by traits such as a lack of empathy, self-centeredness, an excessive sense of entitlement, pathological envy, and exploitation of others. According to researchers, there are two distinct subtypes of narcissism. While grandiose narcissism, or overt narcissism, is associated with high self-esteem, extroversion, less susceptibility to depression, self-aggrandizement, and confidence, vulnerable narcissism or covert narcissism is associated with higher levels of anxiety, avoidance, lower self-esteem, hypersensitivity, and fearfulness.
However, both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism are associated with aggression, according to a meta-analysis of 437 independent studies. Vulnerable narcissism is also associated with hostility and narcissistic rage. Vulnerable, covert narcissists can operate differently in their manipulation than overt, grandiose narcissists. They may engage in extreme passive-aggressiveness to bolster their fragile ego, punish their loved ones, assert their false sense of superiority and get their entitled demands and needs met. Here are five powerful boundaries you should enforce if you are dealing with a passive-aggressive covert narcissist:
Boundary #1: People who are the aggressors should not be able to play the victim. If they do repeatedly play the victim after mistreating you, you must continue to hold them accountable. One of the most powerful and most dangerous tools covert manipulators use to gain emotional leverage is known as the pity ploy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Martha Stout notes that this is one of the clearest signs you are dealing with a conscienceless individual. After they have violated you, narcissistic or psychopathic individuals will usually give you a sob story or paint themselves as the oppressed party in some way to garner your sympathy. This way, you do not hold them accountable, even when they consistently harm you. Predators may also use the pity ploy to lure in their victims: for example, serial killer Ted Bundy faked an injury and used crutches to lure women into “helping” him. It is important that when you are dealing with a covert narcissist, you do not allow their excuses to sway you from detaching from them or issuing appropriate consequences in response to their actions, especially if these actions are part of repeated patterns of behavior that are unlikely to change. Remind yourself of all the adverse circumstances you’ve encountered in your life yet never used as an excuse to harm another person. Do not fall for the generalization that “hurt people hurt people.” Instead, learn to identify when manipulative people are deliberately going out of their way to hurt you and recognize that this is a choice.
Boundary #2: Apologies must be accompanied by changed behavior. Otherwise, they are empty displays orchestrated for manipulation. Research indicates that those with narcissistic and psychopathic traits tend to stay connected to their exes for darker, more pragmatic reasons – such as continued access to resources and sex. In order to maintain access to your life, narcissistic individuals will occasionally feign remorse for their behavior with crocodile tears and fake apologies. One of the myths that causes survivors to reconcile with the narcissist so quickly is the idea that narcissists don’t know what they’re doing. However, this is false. You must ask yourself, “If they know how to treat me well when they want something or when they need to keep me invested, why not treat me well most if not all the time?” This is how you know they can control their behavior at will and that their behavior is deliberate.
Narcissists are aware that their victims need to have some small incentive to stay in the relationship, so they dole out intermittent rewards of affection which will create a trauma bond and cause you to seek that “fix.” They’re more than capable of treating you well in front of witnesses and love bombing you when they feel you withdraw from the relationship just to keep you on the hook. This is why they suddenly put on the false mask again when you try to exit the relationship in an attempt to win you over just so they can control you again. To ensure that these faux apologies do not lead to the continuation of the abuse cycle and trauma bonding, you must nip this cycle in the bud and limit or cut off contact completely even when you are met with apologies and pleas for forgiveness after incidents of abuse. See apologies without changed behavior for what they are: another manipulation tactic.
Boundary #3: Mistreatment will not be responded to with kindness, overexplaining yourself or increased attention, but rather a withdrawal of investment, time, and energy. Narcissists engage in hot-and-cold behavior and intermittent reinforcement to keep you hooked in the relationship. After love-bombing you with future faking and a false persona they will not maintain once you’ve been sufficiently hooked into the relationship, they will reveal their true callous self and begin to devalue you. Rather than directly letting you know that they are incapable of fulfilling the healthy level of affection and attention that is required in stable relationships, they punish and mistreat their partners, lashing out in narcissistic rage when they are asked to meet the standards of basic human decency and respect. Instead of overexplaining yourself, attempting to regain the narcissist’s approval or giving any kind of attention to the narcissist (whether positive or negative), withdraw that attention, time, and energy from the relationship altogether. The biggest “punishment” for a passive-aggressive narcissist is your absence, your lack of attention, and their inability to continue playing mind games. Use the mental resources you would normally use on trying to “fix” the relationship or change the narcissist on self-care, healing, recovery and leveling up instead.
Boundary #4: Put-downs, whether issued covertly or overtly, will not be tolerated and will be met with consequences. Passive-aggressive narcissists will usually engage in underhanded and covert put-downs to demean you so they can escape accountability for their behavior. It’s important that when you are met with passive-aggressive put-downs, especially if it’s in front of others, you address it head-on. You may do this either by limiting contact with the narcissist, using the threat of legal consequences whenever possible or, for narcissists you cannot avoid, calmly calling them out in a way that lets them know they will suffer consequences if they do choose to engage in such tactics. For example, if a narcissist in the workplace issues a covert put-down directed at you, you might calmly “translate” their passive-aggressiveness with a measured response like, “It sounds like you are saying ____, am I hearing you correctly?” Even if the narcissist chooses to deny they meant anything by their remarks, this calm response will place the spotlight of public shaming on them in a way that will make them think twice about pulling such a stunt again in the future. After all, narcissists rely on impression management to get ahead. If they are met with social scrutiny or legal repercussions of any kind, they are unlikely to risk their public image or reputation by attempting to degrade you in front of witnesses.
Boundary #5: When someone uses a sarcastic or patronizing tone, withholds affection or subjects you to the silent treatment or stonewalling to passive-aggressively punish you, treat it as evidence of their disrespect and contempt. From now on, you do not owe them any consideration or communication either. Research has linked chronic sarcasm to psychopathic traits.One of the most passive-aggressive ways narcissistic and psychopathic individuals treat others is with their condescending tone and body language, as well as tantrums disguised as the silent treatment or stonewalling to underhandedly punish you for perceived slights. They may also purposely withhold affection and attention to punish you as well. If you are chronically met with a sarcastic tone or haughty body language from someone, withholding of affection or the silent treatment and stonewalling, act accordingly. This person has disrespected you repeatedly and as a result, you do not owe them any empathy, respect, affection, or communication moving forward. Covert manipulators use these tactics in the hopes that they can better control you and keep you invested in the relationship by trying to please them. You may choose to call them out firmly before detaching, or go silent yourself, withhold your affection from them, and remove yourself from their life altogether.
Resist the urge to be people-pleasing and do not try to mollify or coddle them or educate them into behaving correctly. Instead, show them with your behavior that you will no longer be talked down to nor will you be “punished” with their silence or withholding tactics, especially not by a person you lowered your standards for in order to engage with in the first place. Remember: narcissists don’t respond to empathy or compassion. They respond to consequences. Dealing with passive-aggressiveness from a narcissist can be difficult. However, by identifying their manipulation tactics and setting appropriate boundaries and consequences, you have a better chance of liberating yourself from toxic relationships and pursuing the healthy life you do deserve.
Whether you’ve read Taylor Jenkins Reid’s Daisy Jones & The Six or you’re just excited about the show coming to Amazon Prime on March 3, 2023, you likely love the lead singer vibes of the titular Daisy and her The Six counterpart Billy Dunne. They’ve got that star quality that turns them into magnets. Everyone is pulled in by their unmistakable gravity. You don’t have to be belting out your greatest hits on a stage in front of thousands to have main character energy, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to channel these mega-watt lead singers.
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Dress the part.Daisy Jones’ fashion sense is killer. Just watching her spread her arms on stage with those flowy sleeves is enough to make you wish you were her. While I’m not suggesting replacing your wardrobe with ’70s-inspired clothing, you can still take a page from her book. Go for a cohesive closet that shows off your personality–the more interesting the better. Even just a couple pieces, like a colorful jacket or DIY crop tops made from old band tees, go a long way to giving you a memorable signature look.
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Don’t take crap from anyone.There’s a lot of confidence that goes into being a lead singer. Any bandmate needs to handle pressure, but the singers get it the most. You have to be very sure of yourself in order to handle it. So let all the criticism roll off. Just like bands have to weather bad reviews, you need to weather any of the less-than-stellar people out there who are set on ruining your day.
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Feel a connection to your “lyrics.”Okay, you might not actually be a lead singer, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have something you need to believe in. Rather than feeling connected to literal lyrics like in Daisy Jones & The Six, you should feel a connection with the words you say and the things you do. Have passion in your life–don’t just go through the motions. Every time you say or do something, make it mean something.
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Fight for your place in the world.Despite having to deal with some 1970s-style sexism, Daisy Jones is great at clapping back against people who insist she can’t do something. Bring that strong presence and never back down when people tell you you can’t do something. True main characters don’t stumble into stardom, they claw their way past all the people who are actively trying to keep them down.
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Don’t accept anything other than your dreams.Main characters like Daisy and Billy get where they are because they don’t accept anything less. Imagine if either of them gave up. They’d just be another cog in the machine. No one would have ever heard their music. It might take years of work to get where you want to be. So what? It’s totally worth it.
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Go with the flow when change comes your way.The conflict of Daisy Jones & The Six starts when The Six are convinced to let fledgling singer Daisy Jones join in for a duet. It kickstarts a wild ride of fame, fortune, and heartache. Sometimes opportunities come your way that you might feel hesitant to embrace. Main characters will go with it because half of the fun in life is seeing what the adventure can bring.
Daisy Jones & The Six arrives on March 3, 2023 only on Amazon Prime Video.
Emotional intelligence is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship. In fact, a 15-year-long study even showed that emotional intelligence was a major predictor of relationship satisfaction and the length of a relationship.
Emotional intelligence matters, and some women understand this more than others. While emotional intelligence is important for all types of relationships, romantic and otherwise, this piece will focus on romantic relationships in particular.
And so, without further ado, here are 10 things women who value emotional intelligence do differently in relationships.
- She communicates openly and honestly.Basically, her communication skills are top-notch. She is open, honest, and direct when discussing important matters. She doesn’t avoid difficult subject matter and lets her partner know if something is bothering her or if she needs a shoulder to lean on. She doesn’t expect her partner to read her mind and always anticipate what she may need at a given moment. And so, she simply tells them.
As well, a woman who values emotional intelligence listens to her partner without just waiting for her turn to speak. She engages in active listening, asking questions and seeking to understand her partner’s perspective (even if she doesn’t always necessarily agree). She knows that communication is a two-way street and it’s about talking as much as it is listening.
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She seeks out moments of solitude.An emotionally intelligent woman embraces solitude and makes sure she makes time to be alone and enjoy her own company. This is because she knows spending time solo is imperative for not only reconnecting with herself, but also for recharging and creating her relationship with her partner stronger, too.
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She isn’t afraid of the ebbs and flows.In other words, a woman who values emotional intelligence understands that there will be ups and downs within the partnership. And she takes this fact in stride. She doesn’t panic when her relationship feels a little boring or if things aren’t clicking perfectly. This is because she knows that factors outside of the partnership, such as work and stress, can play a role. She lets everything run its course because she has faith in her partner, in herself, and in the relationship. She trusts that things will work themselves out because they always do.
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She relies on herself.This isn’t to say she won’t lean on her partner for support when she needs it or refuses to ask for help. This just means that a woman with high emotional intelligence knows that, in the end, only she is responsible for her emotions, her decisions, and her actions.
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She practices gratitude.Gratitude is an important part of emotional intelligence. She is aware of the good things in her life and makes sure she takes the time to appreciate them. She’s not constantly chasing the next best thing. She is present, she is secure, and she is grounded.
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She has strong friendships.She invests in her friendships and has strong, healthy relationships with those she holds closest. Her friends are deeply important to her and she treats each friend as the investment she sees them as.
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She’s open to feedback.She isn’t defensive when someone may have a piece of constructive criticism for her. Rather, she listens to what the other person has to say and considers their point of view. Of course, she knows that not all feedback is relative and she always considers the source. But she still hears others out because she is confident in herself, and she takes in the opinions of those who matter (and forgets the rest).
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She has healthy boundaries.She sets healthy boundaries with her partner and encourages them to enforce their own. She understands that boundaries will only bring herself and her partner closer, and ultimately make their bond that much stronger.
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She embraces change.She knows you can’t grow and expand without change. As such, she’s always seeking out new experiences, both to experience individually and with her partner.
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She doesn’t expect a perfect partnership.But she doesn’t want perfection anyway. She just wants the real thing.
I have been writing about relationships and giving relationship advice for over a decade now, which is kind of surreal and makes me feel very old.
One thing I hear again and again is: I wish someone told me this sooner!
No one prepares us for navigating dating and relationships. They don’t include that in the high-school curriculum. It’s pretty much trial and error and trying not to get too burned in the process.
People always ask me where I get my ideas and inspiration from… and for the most part, I”m writing to my younger self… fortunately, there are many many people out there who relate to her!
So here are the most life-changing pieces of relationship advice I wish I knew sooner:
- Choose wisely.Your relationship success is basically determined before you even enter into the relationship. It starts with who you choose.
I used to be the classic stereotype of the girl who only wants the guys she can’t have and is turned off by those desperately in love with her.
And time and time again I was left utterly baffled as to why things never worked out for me. Why did they never want me like I wanted them? Why did it never get past a certain point? Why did I always feel so powerless in my relationships?
Oh right, I’m only going after emotionally unavailable guys who are incapable of giving more than measly scraps, and I’m taking those scraps and seeing them through rose-colored glasses and exaggerating the bare minimum effort and turning it into some grand romantic gesture thus deluding myself into believing the relationship is more significant than it is, and then I’m left shattered when the inevitable happens even though the writing was on the wall in bright red ink the entire time! Silly me!
But seriously, choice is everything. You can’t choose a loser and expect him to transform into a winner. Yes, you might be the most amazing woman he has ever been privileged to know, but it will not be enough to save him or change him or fix him or whatever it is you hope to achieve here. You have to see a situation for what it is and focus only on the truth about who he is … and not on how sexy he is or how funny he can be or how hot the sex is. Focus on what matters, and these things aren’t what set the foundation for a lasting, loving relationship!
If you want a serious relationship, choose a guy who wants the same thing. If you have certain values, choose a guy who shares those values. If you want to start a family in the near future, choose a guy who also wants that.
Love isn’t enough to conquer incompatibility and emotional baggage. You have a choice when it comes to who you want to be with, and that choice gives you power. Use it wisely!
- What are you bringing to the table?I’m gonna tell you something that may be hard to hear- but you need to ask yourself what you’re bringing to the table here.
You want this amazing guy who is confident and has it together and is kind and smart and funny and 6’4 with a thick head of hair, but what are you offering him?
Like attracts like- if you are insecure and emotionally unavailable, that is what you attract. But wait a minute, I’m not emotionally unavailable, I want a relationship more than anything! Well, if you’re insecure and using a relationship to fill a void, then you are unavailable because that behavior is coming from a place of deep down fearing you’re not good enough, and the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right so you will be drawn to people who treat you like you’re not enough.
If you want that amazing, emotionally healthy partner, you need to be on the same wavelength. Focus more on turning yourself into what it us you want… rather than outsourcing the job and thinking you’ll become who you want to be when you meet the right person.
- Stressing ruins relationships.Another thing I find myself saying over and over again when presented with a relationship problem is: stop stressing!
Seriously, why do we do this to ourselves?
We’re so worried about the relationship that we can’t be in the relationship. I totally get it, though. The fears are real. What if he doesn’t like me as much as I like him? What if he isn’t serious about me? What if he’s a liar like my ex? What if he cheats on me? What if he finds someone better?
You think hitting certain milestones will keep the crazies away, but that doesn’t work either. Maybe you think as soon as he calls you his girlfriend you’ll be able to relax. Then he makes it “official” but you worry about him having second thoughts or changing his mind. Then you think you’ll feel better as soon as he says “I love you,” and that works for a little… until he goes a few days without saying it and you wonder if he totally changed his mind. Then it’s as soon as you move in together or get engaged .. there is always an as soon as and there is always a new thing to stress over. Stop all of it!
It gets you nowhere. All you’re doing is feeding your own insecurities and giving them more strength and power over you. Also, it doesn’t feel good to be around a stressed-out person. It creates a negative vibe that’s just off-putting and even the most emotionally clueless man will be able to pick up on it … and that is what will actually stop your relationship from progressing.
Try to relax and just be in the moment. And when you start to worry and stress, calmly and gently remind yourself that you will be OK no matter what. You can handle it. And if you can handle it and you’ll be OK… then what is there to stress over?
- You can’t win them all.This is probably the toughest lesson to learn, but so important for your sanity and self-esteem.
So let’s say you’re seeing a guy and you fall hard and fast. He is everything you’ve ever wanted, he literally checks every box. You can’t help but get excited about the possibilities … but then he ends things. He just doesn’t think you’re right for him, he feels like something is missing, he thinks you’re great but now just isn’t a good time. And you are crushed beyond belief. You mentally go back in time analyzing everything about the relationship to figure out what you did wrong. Why weren’t you enough?
You are enough. You’re plenty. You just weren’t the right girl for him and that’s OK because not everyone is a match. You make a mess for yourself when you take it personally because it really isn’t personal. Just like I’m sure you’ve dated wonderful guys who were crazy about you and you just didn’t feel the same. It’s not that they were horribly flawed, it just wasn’t right.
All you can do is work on being your best self. You’ll never be perfect because that’s impossible, but you can work on refining who you are, on tackling your insecurities, and on healing from your old wounds and hurts. This is all you have control over.
The key to inner peace is taking 100% responsibility for what’s under your control and relinquishing 100% responsibility for what isn’t under your control.
- Your vibe matters more than your looks.Yes, looks matter. No, they don’t matter as much as you think.
Your vibe determines so much more when it comes to how people respond to you and how much success you have in your relationships. And the good news is your vibe is totally under your control!
It’s about managing your mood and not letting yourself be overcome by anxious thoughts and negativity. It may feel like you have no control, but that’s not the case. You can control the thoughts you allow to enter your mind and your thoughts control how you feel.
If you engage with negative thoughts, they will keep coming at you, putting you in an anxious and worried state. If you can keep those thoughts away and only allow positive thoughts to penetrate, your entire life will change, not to mention your relationships.
One of the most important things to understand about men when it comes to relationships is that men move toward what feels good. When it feels good to be around you, he wants to be around you. That’s really all it takes to get a man to commit and invest in you and the relationship.
- Good relationships don’t always feel good.Here’s the thing that no one really tells you: good relationships don’t always feel all that good…but it’s not for the same reason bad relationships don’t feel good.
Bad relationships are the ones filled with all the drama. The highs are higher and the lows are lower. When I say “bad relationship,” I mean everything from a toxic, codependent situation, to a relationship with a man who won’t commit in a significant way, to a match that is simply incompatible.
But in a good relationship…a relationship where you’re on the same page, when you aren’t waiting anxiously for the next text, a relationship where wondering if he likes you just seems ridiculous because you know exactly how he feels…well, those are the relationships that bring you face to face with who you truly are.
Sometimes they will bring out the best in you because we all have inherent goodness within us. And sometimes they will bring out the worst in you because a lot of us have been burned or are holding on to traumas from the past that we didn’t even realize were still buried within us.
Sometimes there will be nothing wrong in the relationship but you will feel sad or anxious or upset. You won’t be able to blame this on the fact that he didn’t call or text or that you’re not his girlfriend or he hasn’t said “I love you” because he never leaves you hanging… he was proud to call you his girlfriend…he adores you and you know he does. The feelings aren’t coming from him, they’re coming from you. If you’ve been hurt in the past, this feeling of unease is your deep-seated trust issues. If you can’t seem to trust that he’ll be there for you, then out come the fears of abandonment.
There’s this idea that in the right relationship, everything will just be perfect. He’ll be the other half of your soul, you’ll reach a level of happiness you never knew existed, and you’ll feel secure and comfortable and confident. A good relationship can give you these things for sure, but not on its own. It has to start from within. If you don’t already feel good, if you still have issues to work through, if you have a void within, you will never fully be able to trust him, you will never truly feel “good enough.” No matter how many sweet things he says or does, you will never be able to give and receive love freely.
When we’re single, we’re often unaware of the work that needs to be done because those parts of us that are hurt and need to be healed don’t get accessed. Or maybe we do know but think the right guy will make it all better. Love forces you to face yourself. Love brings up all that is unloved within us. And you can’t hide who you are when you are in a good, loving relationship. Instead, you are forced to face it and deal with it. Your partner will always reflect back who you really are (and vice versa). And everything that happens will be much more emotionally significant.
Love isn’t meant to make you happy, it’s meant to make you grow.
Abusive relationships take a toll on the mind and body. Narcissistic and psychopathic partners can engage in calculated manipulation methods to diminish their partners and their self-image. They often fixate on the perceived flaws or shortcomings of their partners to instill insecurities in them, or manufacture flaws that don’t exist at all. This is akin to metaphorically placing a funhouse mirror in front of their victims to make them view themselves in a negative light.
This type of distortion can lead an abuse victim to develop a distorted self-image that doesn’t reflect their true self accurately. As victims internalize this distorted self-image, this could then result in a variation of body dysmorphia or eating disorders in an attempt to manage the abuse they are experiencing. Research shows that there is a high comorbidity between PTSD and eating disorders. As a researcher, I’ve also found a significant association between being in a romantic relationship with someone high in narcissistic traits and PTSD symptoms related to the relationship. One possible way individuals who are in such relationships might react to the stress of their trauma symptoms is through disordered eating or other maladaptive attempts to regain control over their bodies during times of perceived powerlessness.
Having corresponded with thousands of survivors who have been in relationships with narcissistic and psychopathic individuals, I have seen frequent reports of survivors who have suffered a distorted self-image after being in this form of toxic relationship. In addition, some have experienced drastic bodily changes and health issues during or in the aftermath of such relationships, while others also experience an anxious preoccupation with their appearance after being emotionally and psychologically abused. The stress of chronic emotional, psychological or even physical and sexual abuse can also result in direct physical changes, some of which can be linked to disordered eating or stress. Survivors of abuse may gain excess weight, possibly due to changing cortisol and insulin levels in response to stress or due to overeating in order to self-soothe during the abuse cycle. Alternatively, they may lose weight rapidly due to self-neglect and self-deprivation resulting from impaired self-care.
The Relationship Between Eating Disorders and Abuse
A systematic review of the research literature showed that eating disorders are associated with a high prevalence and increased lifetime risk of experiencing intimate partner violence, although more research is needed to determine the direction of causality. Recent research also indicates that eating disorders among adolescents are associated with a number of different traumas, including domestic violence and bullying, with bullying being the most prevalent type of trauma.
Eating disorders that may result due to abuse or bullying can include anorexia nervosa (severely restrictive eating), bulimia nervosa (binge-eating followed by self-induced vomiting, purging or fasting), and binge-eating disorder (consuming excessive amounts of food in a short period of time, often uncontrollably).
Other habits that accompany disordered eating in an abusive relationship may include: (1) excessive exercise to the point of exhaustion as a form of self-punishment after eating (2) restricting food intake deliberately to emotionally “numb” the pain of the abuse (3) limiting food intake to fit a certain fitness ideal to please the abusive partner (especially if the abusive partner engages in degrading comparisons to other body types), or (4) omitting certain foods from one’s diet due to policing by the abuser (such as consistently critical comments about one’s diet).
What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder?
Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health condition where an individual exhibits an intense preoccupation with perceived flaws in their appearance (whether real or imagined). According to research, intimate partner violence in adulthood, particularly the severity of sexual coercion, physical assault and psychological abuse, has been significantly associated with increased body shame and self-objectification. Longitudinal research indicates that people with body dysmorphic disorder also report a greater severity of childhood maltreatment, abuse and neglect, especially emotional neglect and emotional abuse. They may have also experienced physical or sexual abuse in childhood.
As a researcher, I’ve heard from some survivors who indicate that they have experienced some variation of body dysmorphia or body image issues due to the abuse they experienced from narcissistic or psychopathic partner, even if they do not meet the full criteria for body dysmorphic disorder as a diagnosis. Being in a toxic relationship may also exacerbate body image issues that existed prior to the relationship as well. Body dysmorphia may be especially apparent in a survivor who has been nitpicked on their appearance by a narcissistic or psychopathic partner, especially in reference to certain features of their body or face.
Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals can “distort” the features of their partners by making bullying remarks that exaggerate these features negatively or by making chronic, hypercritical comments about their partner’s appearance in general. This can cause their victims to question and doubt themselves, leading them to develop an intense preoccupation with “fixing” perceived flaws that may or may not even exist. It may also lead to “checking” behaviors where survivors are consumed with looking at their appearance to ensure there is nothing wrong with it.
Although more research needs to be conducted on the associations among eating disorders, body dysmorphia and the experience of intimate partner violence by narcissistic or psychopathic partners, it is clear that emotional and psychological abuse by such partners can create or exacerbate struggles with body image and self-esteem. If you have been abused by a narcissistic or psychopathic partner and are struggling with your mental health, you are not alone and help is out there. Speaking with a trauma-informed mental health professional and engaging in mind-body healing modalities can empower you and help you to regain mastery over your mind and body.
In this day and age where “ghosting” has become an acceptable form of breaking up (maybe not acceptable, let’s go with widely practiced instead), with endless dating apps where a guy can find someone shiny and new with a few simple swipes, a time that’s defined as a “hookup culture” when fewer and fewer people are settling down…it’s no wonder so many people are fraught with relationship anxiety.
While yes, it’s tough, it’s not impossible. It’s not the apps or the culture or the ghosting that’s messing people up most of the time; it’s their own self-generated fears and anxieties. That’s the real problem no one really addresses. We do it to ourselves.
I’ve been writing about relationships for nearly a decade now and over and over I see women driving themselves half insane with the overthinking and the analyzing. And I fully relate to all of it because I used to be the same way!
So I’m going to talk you through it and reveal the signs you have relationship anxiety and how to get that anxiety under control.
First, let’s go over a few quick signs that you have relationship anxiety.
1. You don’t trust your partner’s feelings. You constantly question if he likes you or if he’s losing interest.
2. You overanalyze. You can’t take anything at face value, you pick it apart trying to understand what he was really trying to say.
3. You are waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s not a matter of if the relationship will end and he’ll leave you, it’s when. And you are constantly on guard for that dreaded moment to come. You can’t just relax and enjoy things, you feel nervous and there is a perpetual knot in the pit of your stomach
Now let’s talk about how all this is ruining your love life.You don’t need me to tell you that stress is bad for you. We’ve all heard the toll it takes on our physical appearance and emotional well-being. But that doesn’t stop most of us from doing it anyway.
Stress puts us into a primitive state. It activates our fears, and we can’t see beyond them. Stress completely overwhelms our minds, and we can’t access the more evolved, rational parts of our brains. It’s like a piece of paper with a black dot on it. When we’re stressed, that little dot takes over the entire page, and it’s all we see.
Being “stress-free” doesn’t mean you’re walking around like some hippy-dippy zen robot. It really is just having a feeling of being OK, of realizing there isn’t a problem you need to solve, and if there is a problem… you will be able to get through it.
This is where the majority of people go wrong in relationships. They are on the defensive waiting for something to go wrong, and they can’t relax and just be.
When you stress over your relationship, you aren’t able to be in the relationship. Instead of interacting with the person in front of you, you’re caught up in your own mind, interacting with the anxious thoughts in your head. And the guy will feel it. He’ll pick up on this negative energy and he will just feel turned off. He won’t know why he’s turned off, he thinks you’re great and he’s attracted to you … but there’s just something he can’t quite put his finger on …
Ok, now that we’ve looked at the ways stressing screws you up, let’s talk about how to get the stress under control.
- Recognize stressing solves nothing.Here’s the trap we fall into with stressing over things. It feels like you’re doing something productive.
It’s like running on the treadmill expecting to get to a new destination. You’re expending tons of energy… but you’re still in the exact same spot.
You feel like if you spin your wheels hard enough you’ll land on some sort of a solution. But instead, you poison your mood and your vibe, and your self-esteem.
It will not open the doors toward clarity and confidence and it will not lead to a healthy, happy relationship. Stressing multiples your problems, it doesn’t solve them. And it usually causes the very thing you’re worried about to come to fruition.
Whenever you catch yourself stressing, try to remind yourself that this is a huge waste of time and you’re essentially resigning yourself to the exact fate you’re terrified of.
- Set a panic deadline.A lot of us prematurely panic. We assume there’s a problem when there is none and live this whole one-sided drama, meanwhile, in boy world, he has no idea anything is amiss.
For example, you’re dating a guy and everything has been going well and then one day he doesn’t text you back and you literally lose your mind.
This happened to me very early in my relationship with my husband. We had gone on two dates and after the second he didn’t text me for a few days and I lost my mind. (Some context: we dated in high school and had a history and had been texting nonstop in the days leading up to and following the first date).
I was playing and replaying every interaction of the date wondering what I did wrong and beating myself up for pushing him away after only two dates. Here we go again with this exact same dreaded pattern…
But then I decided I wouldn’t do this to myself. Instead, I set a panic deadline. I think we went out on a Monday then I didn’t hear from him Tuesday or Wednesday so I said to myself, “OK, he hasn’t texted me, this is a little alarming but I will not panic about this and get upset until Friday. If I don’t hear from him by Friday, then I can be upset.”
I wasn’t saying I couldn’t be upset… I was just putting the upset feelings on hold and planned to revisit them at a later date.
Every time the sad feelings crept in, I just pushed them away and said, “Nope, I’m not being sad about this right now, I can feel sad about it on Friday.” And then he texted me later that day and everything was fine and normal, so I created that whole drama for nothing!
Anytime something like this would come up in our relationship, I would set a date to panic. And without fail, the problem would resolve before we reached the deadline.
Soon enough, I realized that there was nothing to ever freak out about and I learned to just be calm and deal with things and not let stress overtake me because like I said, no good ever comes of it.
And I should add, the things I wanted to “panic” over were never panic-worthy… it was really rooted in my own fears and insecurities, and tackling those made it so easy and effortless to just be present in the relationship and actually enjoy it instead of worrying about it.
- If it doesn’t work out, you’ll be OK.This is the most powerful mindset of all, and you can use it in relationships or any other area of your life.
If it doesn’t work out, you will be OK. You were OK before him, and you will be fine if things don’t work out. For some reason, this basic revelation feels groundbreaking when spoken out loud.
It’s hard to realize something so obvious when you’re in the thick of it because it doesn’t feel OK. It feels like you will combust if he leaves. You just can’t handle that being a reality.
And to that I say: stop attaching so much to what it will mean if things don’t work out.
Dating is a discovery process, that’s all. It’s not a means to find happiness or self-esteem or to heal your old wounds. Being in a relationship isn’t a goal to achieve. It is something that naturally happens when you’re dating someone and you both realize it just fits. It feels easy and effortless and being together is just much better than not being together. You mesh, you click, and you want the same things.
If one person doesn’t feel this way, then there isn’t much you can do. You can’t force someone to feel what you feel.
If it’s not a match… it’s not a match and that’s fine! You will find someone better suited for you. Have a little more faith in yourself!4. Imagine other possibilities.
The reason we stress ourselves out so much is that we invest so much in this other person, oftentimes before they’ve shown any real investment in us. There’s an underlying feeling of I need this relationship to work!
Maybe it’s because we just really like him, maybe it’s because we don’t often come across guys we genuinely like and we don’t know when the next one is going to come around, maybe it’s because it just seems so meant to be….
But you can’t attach until that is where you’re at in the relationship, meaning, you’re both on the same page. When I started dating my husband, I really made a solid attempt to not make the mistakes that just seemed to be my default, primarily, stressing and letting my anxieties run rampant.
In the early stages, before we were “official,” I kept my options open, even though he was the only option worth pursuing.
I was still talking to other guys, still active on the apps… and that didn’t stop until w became official (which happened relatively quickly, I think after three weeks or something!).
The point I’m making is don’t mentally or physically cut yourself off from other options. You’ll leave much less room for stressing if you have other things to keep you occupied. And if you don’t have any back-burner dudes, just mentally keep yourself open to the possibility that it won’t work out with him … and there’s something else in store for you. When you do this, you’ll take the pressure off the situation and let things unfold more naturally, without force of agenda.
- Realize you have control over your mind.This is a common mistake. We think we have no control. We think our mind runs the show and we let it steer us in any which way, down even the darkest most destructive paths. We let it tell us we’re worthless and useless and unlovable and nothing will ever work out the way we want.
Why do we allow this?!
You have control over which thoughts seep in. If you don’t like what you’re hearing, send those thoughts away and replace them with something different. Your mind heavily influences the way you see the world and interact with it.
Here is an exercise: notice your thoughts throughout the day and then ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well?
If it brings up feelings of fear/anxiety/insecurity/dread then no, it doesn’t serve you well! So shift that thought to a more productive place!
When you learn how to do this, not only will your relationships transform, but your whole life will.
There’s something magical about songwriting. You’re taking your thoughts, feelings, and experiences and setting them to music that’ll hopefully resonate with listeners. If you’re doing it right, you’re baring your soul to anyone who hears it. With the upcoming release of the miniseries adaptation of NYT bestselling novel Daisy Jones & The Six (streaming March 3, 2023 on Amazon Prime), a documentary-style account of the rise and fall of a 1970s rock band, songwriters everywhere can get a burst of inspiration for their music. If you’re experiencing writers block, here are some tips you’ll learn from the show.
The best lyrics come from the heart.So many songwriters struggle with coming up with meaningful lyrics. If the words don’t come from the heart, from personal experience, from something real, the audience can tell. They feel hollow. When Daisy Jones asks The Six front man Billy Dunne what he thinks the song “Honeycomb” is about, it’s her way to connect with the words he’s written. Even if it’s personal and you don’t necessarily want to answer, you should always have your own reason for what the song is about and why you felt compelled to write it.
There’s magic in collaboration.Sure, there are songwriters out there who do it all alone, but they’re few and far between. Whether it’s just collaborating on the music or a duo writing a song’s lyrics together, like in Daisy Jones & The Six, a collaborator will help you come up with things you never thought of. Remember: Don’t shy away from criticism and comments in the songwriting process. In the end, it’s what makes your writing stronger.
True love is the key ingredient to a love song.Just like struggle creates meaningful lyrics, actually feeling real, upending love will help you write a love song. It’s that passion between Daisy and Billy, in the songs they write together, that gives his girlfriend pause about what’s really going on between the lead singers. This tip is harder to follow if you haven’t yet been in love, but always be looking out for that little bit of inspiration in the romances around you.
You shouldn’t shy away from conflict.You might have this idea that you need to experience pure fairytale romance to write a love song. That’s certainly the way I described it in the last point, but here’s something to consider: No real love story is 100% perfect. If you caught the trailer for Daisy Jones & The Six, you know it can become incredibly messy. Some of the best art is made from the wreckage sprinkled around you after a conflict. Channel that beautiful wreckage in your music.
Songwriting has to be intimate.As Sam Claflin’s Billy Dunne says in the show, “When you’re making an album, it’s an intimate thing.” It’s not just intimate for those you’re writing and performing the songs with, but for everyone who encounters the song after it leaves your lips. When you write a song, you’re letting the listener into your world. Although intimacy can feel intense, don’t shy away from vulnerability. Your songwriting will be better for it.
Catch Daisy Jones & The Six starting March 3, 2023 on Amazon Prime Video with new episodes releasing every Friday through March 24.
Let’s talk about some habits and mindsets that are sabotaging you from getting the love you want.
The path to finding love is filled with misconceptions thanks to movies and mainstream media. All we get are false images of what love should look like and no one talks about what it takes to have a lasting relationship and the stumbling blocks that might get in your way.
No one talks about the important stuff, no one shines a mirror on us and tells us how we need to be, what we need to confront, and what it actually takes to be in a healthy, happy relationship.
So let’s look at six things you need to stop doing if you want that healthy relationship.
- Stop being so needy .Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship or male validation.
Neediness usually stems from a lack of self-esteem or a sense of worth. You feel like something is missing within yourself or in your life and erroneously believe a relationship will be the cure. If you were unhappy before the relationship, you’ll be unhappy in it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about being single, work on your relationship with yourself. Work on feeling OK and happy with where you are right now.
- Stop looking for love and learn to love yourself.You have to love yourself first or you will never be able to accept that anyone else can love you
There’s that famous quote from Groucho Marks: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
It’s funny and we all get the sentiment, but the sad thing is we do this in our love lives all the time! We think there must be something wrong with the guys who really want us and we pine for the ones who don’t care or seem uninterested.
If you don’t truly like and love yourself, you will never be able to accept that someone else can love you.
The number one way to attract love is to make yourself into a vessel that can receive it.
If you don’t value yourself, you will go for someone who doesn’t treat you well, and you will be OK with it because he’s just validating how you feel about yourself. And the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right.
In general, like attracts like.
If you are emotionally unavailable, you will attract a guy who is emotionally unavailable. Now, you can want to be in a relationship and at the same time be unavailable in your own way. If you’re afraid of getting hurt or feel like the guys you want always leave you, then you might subconsciously be putting up walls to protect yourself.
Ask yourself: would I want to date me?
What are you bringing to the table? If you want an emotionally healthy, confident, stable guy, then you need to make sure you mirror those qualities at the same level. I mean, why would a guy like that want to be with someone who is an insecure emotional mess? If you want that kind of guy, you need to be that kind of girl.
- Stop playing a role.So many of us fall into this trap of trying to fit a mold or play a role in order to get the guy. Maybe it’s due to societal conditioning or maybe because deep down we don’t feel good enough. But you can’t form a genuine connection with someone if you’re pretending to be something you’re not or trying to fit a guy’s ideal vision of the kind of woman he wants.
I have a friend who is just so got it together on the outside- she is polished and poised and just seems so fine all the time. She went through a period where she would date one guy after the next and with each one the relationship just fizzled out. Why? Because there was no genuine connection. She portrayed herself as being so fine and having it all so together it was impenetrable and you just can’t connect this way.
Love is about being seen and known and vulnerable. This doesn’t need to happen right away and should be a gradual process. But you can’t really get to a deeper place unless you peel back some of those layers.
- Stop playing the victim.You are not single because there is some grand conspiracy to keep you this way. You are not the only one who dated a great guy who turned out to be a jerk, who feels that all the good guys are taken, who feels like they just aren’t good at dating apps and online dating and hence doomed to fail. It isn’t just you!
But it’s easier to place the blame elsewhere… anywhere that doesn’t fall on you.
There are going to be things in our lives that are out of our control and some of them can have a really strong impact on us but we have the choice of how we hold onto or let go of those things.
Take control of the narrative and re-frame the way you look at your circumstances. You get to choose who to be in the story of your life: are you the tragic victim or the triumphant heroine?
- Stop idealizing your ex.Most of us are unaware of all the ways our past can bleed into our present and future if left unchecked.
The reason it’s so hard to get over an ex is oftentimes due to the stories we tell ourselves about what happened and why. So if he left you for someone else, you may tell yourself it’s because you’re unworthy… that you weren’t good enough. If you fought constantly you might blame yourself and think it was all your fault and that you mess everything up. This faulty belief get wired in and then it becomes part of your story. You start to expect negative outcomes… and then you experience them.
If you’ve been hurt in the past, try to see if you can identify any old wounds you’re still carrying around with you. Think about how you interpreted the situation at the time and see if you can spot any faulty beliefs about yourself that may have developed. Then do whatever you need to in order to correct those. It isn’t always easy but it’s necessary for your healing.
- Stop stressing.I talk a lot about how stressing basically ruins everything, because it does and because this is something so many of us do.
You have to get your mind under control, you can’t let worried thoughts dominate you because they will ruin your life and block you from forming a genuine connection and finding happiness.
And when has stressing over something ever gotten you the thing?
It just uses up all your mental energy and depletes you and again, gets you nowhere!
Have faith that things will work out for you, maybe there aren’t working out in the exact way you want in the exact moment you want… but it will happen. It will be OK.
Pain can be familiar and so being hard on yourself is comforting in a way because that’s all you’ve known, it feels like returning home. But you have to fight against the tide so you can preprogram the way you see yourself and your life.
Anxiety is a pervasive problem in general, and of course, it’s going to come out in relationships because relationships hit every emotional sore spot inside of us and there is a lot at stake.
Your intentions are good, you want the relationship to last and you want to avoid being hurt, but the way it manifests could end up ruining the very thing you want so badly.
So let’s break it down and talk about why it happens and what you can do to solve it and get the love you want.
People who experience a high level of anxiety in their relationships usually have an anxious attachment style
Our attachment style determines a lot about how we interact in relationships, but you don’t have to be boxed in by your style. A lot of people see attachment style as something fixed but it really is a spectrum and you can manage it to be on the more “high-functioning” side.
Essentially, there are four main attachment styles:
- Secure. This is essentially the gold standard. People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable and confident in relationships. They can be vulnerable and also at ease without worrying their partners will leave them.
- Avoidant. People with this attachment style avoid or fear commitment- they may completely avoid relationships altogether or be cold and distant when in a relationship anytime they feel like things are getting too close.
- Anxious. This is a type of insecure attachment style rooted in fear of abandonment. These people are usually terrified of their partner leaving them, and they have a hard time being apart from their partners in general.
- Anxious/avoidant. This style is a mix of the previous two. They desperately crave closeness, but also feel terrified of it. This style is considered the rarest and usually occurs in people who had especially traumatic childhoods.
For the purposes of this article, we’re focusing specifically on the anxious style.
Some classic signs of an anxious attachment style are feeling insecure in a relationship, clingy, terrified of rejection, jealous, distrusting your partner, overthinking everything and having a negative view of yourself
Now here is the thing about anxious attachment that people don’t always realize: it doesn’t necessarily mean you are constantly consumed with fears of your partner leaving (although some people who are very high anxiety will feel that way). Rather, it’s activated by certain triggers. So you can be totally fine and cool and chill in your relationship, but if you sense your partner might leave or if he or she shows signs that they might be losing interest, that anxious attachment style will be activated and the fear will come flooding in.
A study found that people with an anxious attachment style are indeed more vigilant to changes in others’ emotional expression and can have a higher degree of accuracy and sensitivity to other people’s cues. However, this finding comes with a caveat. The study showed that people with an anxious attachment style tend to jump to conclusions very quickly, and when they do, they tend to misinterpret people’s emotional states. Only when the experiment was designed in such a way that anxious participants had to wait a little longer— they couldn’t react immediately when they spotted a change, but had to wait a little longer— and get more information before making a judgment did they have an advantage over other participants.
Let’s unpack what this means.
Anxious people are hyper-vigilant about how their partners act. So let’s say one day you text your guy and he doesn’t text back for a few hours. But usually, he texts back within one hour, and you know this because you are always paying close attention.
But today he’s going longer than normal and you start to spin. What is going on? Is he with a girl? He must be with a girl because he always has his phone on him … I mean it’s 2023… everyone is glued to their phone! Why wouldn’t he have his phone? He must be with his girl and he doesn’t want to text me when he’s with her. I can’t believe he’s doing this. Men are all evil monsters. I’m going to end up alone. Life isn’t fair
And you spin and spin. Then your guy reemerges. Turns out, he was in a meeting that ran long. Now you feel better, but deep down you’re angry. He still should have texted. Something isn’t right. Maybe he’s losing interest. And now you punish him because he has wronged you. Maybe you’re passive-aggressive, maybe you ice him out, maybe you yell at him, maybe you withhold affection.
He doesn’t understand why you’re acting like this and may put up a wall because he doesn’t want to deal with it. You might interpret this as him being cold and mean and think maybe he’s getting tired of you and is thinking about leaving and your anxiety will kick into high gear once again.
If you are anxiously attached, and if you also happen to be dating someone who is avoidantly attached, this type of thing will be recurrent and your relationship will be absolute misery until you either deal with it or break up.
One thing I talk about a lot is the fact that the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right.
Essentially these anxious thoughts come from a place of thinking deep down that you are not enough, that you’re unworthy. And your mind is looking for proof of that.
This is why anxious women are often drawn to avoidant men – because deep down she doesn’t feel worthy of love, but she thinks if she can get this guy to love her, then she’ll be worthy and then all her past pain and trauma will be wiped away, but she can’t really break through because he has an avoidant style and her neediness makes him even more avoidant.
An anxious person may also act out because they want to be soothed and reassured. We all like a little reassurance at times, but if it becomes constant, then it’s draining and emotionally exhausting even for the most empathetic partner.
Where does an anxious attachment style come from?The majority of people in the field believe it’s formed in childhood and develops when a parent is inconsistent- one moment they’re emotionally insensitive and other moments they are loving and available. The child doesn’t know what to expect and is hungry for consistent attention and connection
This causes people with anxious attachment to have a hard time depending on others- they might distrust others and believe those they love and depend on can be emotionally erratic and even abusive.
However, it doesn’t always come from childhood. You can develop anxious attachment as an adult after a traumatic relationship experience.
Now let’s talk about solutions to get your anxiety under control
- Date someone with a secure attachment style.Dating someone who is secure will anchor you and model a healthy way of being. A lot of people with anxious attachment styles are drawn to avoidants but you have to recognize this will make things worse and this is usually a toxic dynamic.
The reason anxious and avoidants usually wind up together is first, only an anxious person will put up with the avoidant’s avoidance and the avoidant’s hot and cold behavior feels familiar to the anxious because that’s most likely what was modeled when they were growing up. We will always gravitate toward the familiar even if it hurts us.
- Be emotionally honest.Blaming, shaming, accusing, guilting and so forth rarely create a healthy dynamic. Being open, honest, and vulnerable does. So be honest with your partner. Tell them: “I care about you, I want to connect, but I have some intimacy issues that sometimes get in my way” and talk about it.
In order to do this, you need to be emotionally honest with yourself. Try to identify the source of your anxiety- did it come from your parents? From your ex? And examine how it shows up in your daily life and in your relationships. When you get an understanding of what’s at play, explain it to your partner.
You won’t be able to articulate these things when you’re in an emotionally reactive state so it’s important to discuss it when you’re calm instead of waiting for an argument.
If you’re afraid that your partner will leave if you’re honest or that they won’t be able to deal with it, then you’re probably with the wrong person.
- Respond instead of react.This goes back to the study I cited earlier: Only when the experiment was designed in such a way that anxious participants had to wait a little longer— they couldn’t react immediately when they spotted a change, but had to wait a little longer— and get more information before making a judgment did they have an advantage over other participants.
So what does this look like? Let’s say your guy goes out with his friends and you don’t hear from him- you immediately assume he met a girl and is hooking up with her, take a pause. Realize maybe he’s just having fun with his friends and wants to give them his attention.
Everything in your relationship is fine, there is no cause for concern.
It isn’t reasonable for him to text you every five minutes. If you place these demands and expectations, you will look needy and desperate and things will only further deteriorate.
Think about what you would tell your best friend in this situation- how would you talk to her? This is a good strategy overall to help us get centered when we’re unraveling.
Try to choose your response instead of reflexively reacting. Take deep breaths, count back from five, or go outside for some air. Anxiety can be very frenzied and frenetic, do whatever works best for you in those moments of heightened reactivity to slow it down.
- Watch how you speak to yourself.That inner voice is powerful and sometimes overbearing, but it doesn’t control us… we actually have agency over our thoughts. And what we think creates a change within us. Managing your thoughts is the difference between feeling panicked and terrified or calm and at ease.
Don’t go spiraling when the anxious thoughts creep in. Stop them in their tracks by telling yourself: I am OK. I will be OK.
You can also play therapist with yourself.
Ask yourself questions when you’re in a moment of panic.
What’s the real fear here?
I’m afraid he met another girl.
And what does that mean to you?
He’ll leave me.
And then what?
I’ll be alone.
And why does that make you scared?
It proves I’m unlovable
Then what?
Well, eventually I’ll pick myself up and move on and will be OK.
Keep going and asking yourself questions … you will always land at a place where it will be OK and this will melt those panicked feelings away… there’s nothing to worry about if you know it will all end up OK.
- Find someone reliable to talk to.This could be a friend, a family member, a coach, or maybe a good therapist.
A lot of the time, our anxiety-generated fears are totally irrational and we can’t see it until we talk it out and unravel what’s going on. You need to separate the thoughts from your being and when they stay in there and go unchallenged, they merge in with who you are and how you see yourself.
Having an objective person can really help you get unravel what’s happening and loosen those knots. And a skilled therapist can give you the tools to manage that anxiety.
Journaling and meditation are also excellent tools for getting your mind and thoughts under control.
Many people wonder how Borderline Personality Disorder differs from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or how Borderline Personality Disorder differs from the usual symptoms of trauma. While there are a few overlapping symptoms between these conditions, there are manymarked differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder that are worth highlighting. There are also some important distinctions between Borderline Personality Disorder and more temporary symptoms of trauma.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition with a long-term, sustained pattern of behavior characterized by emotional intensity and affective dysregulation, a pattern of unstable relationships, impulsivity, frantic attempts to avoid abandonment and reoccurring self-harm. Symptoms of BPD usually begin in adolescence, but BPD can only be diagnosed in adults.
What Can Be Misdiagnosed as BPD?
Some of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder can co-occur or overlap with those of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or complex trauma – for example, irritability, reckless behaviors, dysregulated emotions, rage, dissociation or identity disturbance and self-harm in the case of complex PTSD. As a result, there are times that people can be misdiagnosed with BPD when they are actually suffering from the effects of complex trauma or PTSD.
Some therapists have noted that individuals can also be misdiagnosed with BPD when they are actually experiencing more temporary traumatic symptoms resulting from abusive relationships. Many of the same symptoms – such as emotional ups and downs due to the “mean and sweet” cycle of abuse and frantic attempts to avoid abandonment can occur in these tumultuous relationships. As a researcher who specializes in narcissism and psychopathy, I have also observed individuals who have been in romantic relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic partners reporting that they experience PTSD symptoms that “mimic” patterns of BPD even though they do not have BPD. This is due to the natural trauma reactions that arise in response to the abusive cycles and trauma bonding in these relationships. In those cases, such symptoms tend to improve and heal after exiting the abusive relationship and with appropriate trauma treatments. There are also cases of individuals with BPD having a pattern of being in relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic individuals or being targeted by narcissistic or psychopathic individuals due to their emotional vulnerabilities. Such relationships can exacerbate any pre-existing symptoms of BPD and may cause additional complex trauma.
What Causes BPD?
Research indicates that BPD may arise from a combination of environmental factors interacting with a biological predisposition for heightened sensitivity in the brain. For example, neuroscience studies note that in individuals with BPD, there is an increased activation in the amygdala (the part of the brain that processes fear and emotions) and reduced prefrontal cortex regulation (which helps manage emotions, impulses and decision-making) during emotion-inducing situations. Other research shows that BPD may also be hereditary, as the diagnosis of BPD was found to be four times higher in the biological relatives of people with BPD, and twin and familial studies show an estimated heritability of approximately 40%. Pre-existing sensitivities can interact with early upbringing, as studies support the associations between an emotionally invalidating family environment and BPD, as well as childhood maltreatment and the development of BPD. Interestingly, some individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder may report having been emotionally invalidated or mistreated by narcissistic parents.
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? What are the Differences?
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a chronic lack of empathy, exploitation of others, an excessive sense of entitlement, pathological envy, a haughty or condescending attitude, vanity or self-absorption and a need for admiration. While the exact origins of NPD are unknown and likely also involves an interaction between biological and environmental factors, some research, including longitudinal studies, suggest that parental overvaluation in childhood may cause narcissistic traits.
One of the biggest differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder is in the capacity for emotional empathy. Some research shows that individuals with BPD can have enhanced emotional empathy for others and even have an ability to recognize the subtle emotional states of other people. This enhanced emotional empathy contrasts Narcissistic Personality Disorder, where a lack of emotional and affective empathy is a hallmark of the disorder, although narcissists are still capable of cognitive empathy, often using it to better manipulate others. However, individuals with BPD can struggle with conveying their empathy appropriately when they are distressed, emotionally overwhelmed and self-focused. As research indicates, individuals with BPD can also have a negative bias in emotion recognition and misattribute neutral emotions in others as negative ones, which may cause them to react to the “assumed” emotions of others more intensely.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder can experience intense and overwhelming emotions, which can lead to interpersonal difficulties if they do not receive treatment. Dr. Marsha Linehan, an expert on Borderline Personality Disorder and creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, an effective and evidence-based treatment for BPD, notes that this emotional reactivity stems from what feels like emotional “third-degree burns” within the individual with BPD, symbolizing the wounds which cause the individual to feel “agony at the slightest touch or movement.”
Unlike people with BPD, narcissistic individuals may display more “flat” impoverished emotions in response to the distress of others, more negative or antagonistic emotions and inappropriate emotions to certain stimuli (such as positive emotion in response to sad faces or heightened anger). Generally, their emotions are not as intense as the emotions of individuals with BPD, aside from malicious envy and narcissistic rage in response to perceived slights, criticism or threats to their excessive sense of entitlement. Due to their lack of empathy, the emotions of narcissistic individuals are linked moreso with their own needs rather than the needs or emotions of others. Individuals with BPD also experience rage on a heightened level, though their rage tends to be in response to perceived neglect, abandonment, or arising from their struggles with tolerating emotional distress.
People with BPD can engage in maladaptive behaviors to prevent being neglected in their relationships. They are more likely to harm themselves, while narcissistic individuals tend to exploit and manipulate others deliberately for personal gain, profit or pleasure. While individuals with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a marked characteristic of their disorder, narcissists are often the ones doing the abandoning as they tend to deliberately devalue and discard their intimate partners after a period of idealization for the purposes of power and control. Narcissists may also have high self-esteem either due to a grandiose self-image or low-self-esteem depending on whether they have more vulnerable or grandiose narcissistic traits. They engage in impression management and can have a charming false mask, whereas individuals with BPD tend to experience instability in self-esteem and a disrupted self-image.
People with BPD often struggle with the following symptoms:
- Intense relationships. People with BPD tend to have a series of intense relationships that can end as quickly as they began. They can experience abrupt shifts in their emotions toward people in relationships, “splitting” between idealizing their partner one day and intensely disliking or devaluing them the next. They may see their loved ones in “black and white” terms or “good” or “bad.” Unlike narcissistic individuals who may use the idealize-devalue cycle deliberately to control others, this is not deliberate but rather a naturally occurring aspect of their emotional dysregulation. Note: This symptom should also not be confused with an abuse victim who experiences these shifts naturally due to the ongoing hot-and-cold cycle, Jekyll-and-Hyde behavior of their abusersand the chaos of an abusive relationship.
- Frantic attempts to avoid abandonment.Individuals with BPD may make frantic attempts to avoid abandonment (whether real or imagined) in their relationships and can be hypersensitive to perceived rejection from friends, family members, and relationship partners. This can occur in various ways: they can constantly ask for reassurance, or they may contact someone excessively. They might create crises with a sense of urgency to compel the person to rescue them, flatter, “fawn” or cater to that person to avoid being abandoned. They may even push the other person away first or vacillate between closeness and avoidance so they aren’t the ones being immediately abandoned.
- Moods that can change abruptly. People with BPD have intense, fluctuating moods (usually lasting a few hours at a time) that can shift rapidly. They may experience heightened irritability and anxiety, which may cause them to lash out at others, especially under times of distress. If left untreated, this emotional dysregulation can disrupt their daily functioning and can make it challenging for them to maintain relationships.
- Intense rage. People with BPD can experience rage disproportionately, especially in response to more seemingly “minor” inconveniences, perceived neglect or abandonment from others.
- Chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness. An individual with BPD can experience chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness which can cause them to crave and chase after relationships and external validation to fill the void. However, due to their emotional dysregulation and interpersonal difficulties, being in relationships can exacerbate their symptoms, especially if they do not undergo treatment.
- Dissociation and paranoid ideation. People with BPD might experience episodes of dissociation – a feeling of being separate from their own bodies and the world. They can also experience paranoid ideation during times of acute stress.
- Identity disturbance and an unstable sense of self. Individuals with BPD can experience a fluctuating and unstable self-image where they may not feel a solid sense of “self.” This may lead to contradictory or abrupt changes in beliefs, opinions, ideas, lifestyle or their personal style.
- Dangerous, impulsive and reckless behaviors. People with BPD may engage in reckless behaviors that harm themselves or others due to their impulsivity, such as substance use, risky sexual behavior, self-harm, excessive gambling, or reckless driving.
- Reoccurring suicidal and parasuicidal behaviors. Due to their overwhelming, intense emotions and challenges in tolerating distress, people with BPD may cry out for help with reoccurring self-harming and self-mutilating behavior or evensuicide attempts. Non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) is prevalent in this group.
If you or someone you know is struggling with symptoms of BPD, help is out there. While NPD has a more challenging prognosis as many narcissistic individuals are unwilling to seek help and lack empathy for the way their behaviors harm others, people with BPD often end up in treatment due to self-harm or interpersonal difficulties, and usually have a desire and willingness to improve the quality of their mental health and relationships. Studies show that with time and with the help of appropriate treatments such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, people with BPD can experience a sustained remission of their symptoms.
The female narcissist is shrouded in stereotypes: the femme fatale, the self-absorbed selfie-taker, the materialistic frequent shopper, and the black widow. While it’s true that female narcissists can be vain, focus on their appearance and use their sexuality to garner attention, these traits on their own don’t necessarily mean they are full-fledged narcissists. Even if they are, these are usually not the most harmful traits which make them dangerous to others.
Research indicates that partners and relatives of narcissistic people are subjected to a distinct pattern of harmful behaviors associated with their narcissistic traits. These include behaviors related to attention-seeking and admiration-seeking, arrogant or haughty attitudes, envy and jealousy, devaluation of others, narcissistic rage and vengefulness. In addition, a recent meta-analytic review of 437 studies indicated that narcissism is associated with multiple forms of bullying and aggression – including unprovoked aggression. The female narcissist is no exception.
While vanity and self-absorption can still certainly be part of their repertoire, the “real” female narcissists of the world aren’t always necessarily the ones checking themselves out in the mirror or posting scantily clad selfies. They’re usually the ones going out of their way to bully the women they’re envious of and threatened by. Not only do they exploit and abuse their romantic partners, but they also target both their female friends and strangers with unprecedented cruelty. Female narcissists attempt to steal the spotlight to compete with other women they perceive as a threat and diminish the confidence of their children – especially their own daughters. They sabotage talented coworkers in the workplace to climb the corporate ladder, defend abusers and predators while shaming their victims, interfere in the relationships of their female friends to “one-up” them, and pursue partnered men as a lifestyle.
These behaviors go beyond “regular” internalized misogyny and can be chronic, sadistic, deliberate and calculated. The key in distinguishing between “just” an insecure woman and a female narcissist is all in her frequent patterns of behavior: an insecure woman may harbor feelings of jealousy, envy, and resentment toward someone occasionally, but she will be unlikely to go out of her way to harm or bully that person or try to sabotage her life.
That is because her empathy for others and moral sense of right or wrong will limit her behavior. A female narcissist, on the other hand, experiences malicious envythat research links to both narcissistic and psychopathic traits, as well as an excessive sense of entitlement. She will pull out all the stops to cruelly devalue the target of her envy, with no empathy for the targets she scapegoats, in order to establish her false sense of superiority.
Here are some tell-tale signs you may be dealing with a female narcissist:
1. She love-bombs you to keep you close, just so she can learn more about you, exploit and devalue you. Whether you’re a friend, partner, family member or foe, the female narcissist is just like any other narcissist in that she will subject you to love-bombing (excessive attention and praise) if she wants something from you. She will idealize you and make you feel special and “chosen” in being her friend or partner. However, once she’s identified your strengths and vulnerabilities, she will spearhead a campaign of using these same strengths and vulnerabilities against you. While she usually uses her male partner’s vulnerabilities to further exploit him (often for material resources) she will use her female friend’s vulnerabilities to upstage her in addition to benefiting from whatever resources she provides as well.
After reaping some of the benefits of your friendship, she will begin to covertly attack and put down your perceived strengths – such as your appearance, skills, intelligence, or success – while pointing out your assumed weaknesses with a sadistic smugness. This can occur either during one-on-one conversations or in front of others with covert put-downs to mock, humiliate, taunt, and covertly insult you. Similarly, narcissistic mothers who are envious of their own daughters will go out of their way to put them down, hypercriticizing and shaming their looks, skills, and personality on a daily basis to instill insecurities in them. This is because they see their daughters as a representation of youth, beauty, and potential – as a threat to their false sense of superiority, grandiose sense of self and entitlement.
2. She will adopt aspects of your personality as her own, even if she criticizes these facets of your identity initially. At the workplace, she may even steal your work and claim the credit. Female narcissists are chameleons in that they can “steal” the identities of others to reap the benefits of temporarily donning the qualities and traits they’ve observed in others. This means you may find her mimicking aspects of your appearance, your gestures, phrases, hobbies, interests, mannerisms, style of clothing, beliefs, ideas, and philosophies. Female narcissists will use all these characteristics to masquerade in the world as “you” in an attempt to get the same praise and appreciation as you do. This “identity theft” is not just limited to the circle of female friendships: it can also occur in the workplace as well as in business endeavors. Female narcissists are notorious for sabotaging their talented, hard-working co-workers or employees in the workplace. They may spread misinformation about you to your superiors, attempt to get you demoted while they fight for the promotion you deserve and even steal credit for your work while reaping the fruits of your labor.
3. They rage and seethe when they’re not the center of attention and go to excessive lengths to ensure the spotlight is focused on them. They tend to exhibit extreme “pickme” tendencies. Being friends with a female narcissist means you’re unwittingly forced into a competition you did not even know existed. If the female narcissist perceives that you are more attractive, intelligent, successful, or popular than her, she will go to absurd lengths to ensure the spotlight stays focused on her. This is similar to the attention-seeking tactics of histrionic individuals. This means that if you’re out partying together, she’ll go out of her way to talk to the men who have expressed interest in you – just to see if she can “win” them over and one-up you in some way. Or, if your friends are congratulating you on your latest accomplishment, she will interrupt the conversation with a covert put-down to point out something you “lack” or center her own achievements in an attempt to steal your thunder.
4. Female narcissists habitually pursue people already in committed relationships and try to sabotage the relationships of their female friends with no empathy for those involved. Female narcissists are not just deceptive and prone to infidelity in their own relationships – they also have a tendency to try to sabotage the relationships of others. Even if they have a loving, doting partner who spoils them, they will make frantic, often cringe-worthy attempts to “seduce” the partners of their female friends or try to flirt with men in committed relationships as a sport. Narcissistic family members such as narcissistic sisters or narcissistic mothers may even take this a step further by trying to pursue the boyfriends and husbands of their family members. Whether they succeed or fail, the key feature of this behavior is they engage in this behavior actively, chronically and knowingly, taking a sadistic pleasure and thrill in the idea that they could potentially “steal” someone’s attention away from their primary partner. They also have no problem harming their own intimate partners through their various affairs and transgressions, manufacturing love triangles and using jealousy induction to make their partners feel chronically jealous and insecure in the relationship.
5. They perpetuate victim-shaming and throw victims under the bus to defend abusers and predators. One of the most dangerous behaviors heterosexual narcissistic women engage in is centering male attention to the extent of defending abusers and serial predators – all while throwing their innocent victims under the bus. Much like the women who wrote love letters to Ted Bundy in prison, female narcissists take “Pick Me” tendencies to a whole new level. They often view victims of abuse as “weak” and criticize them for being victimized in the first place. Some may even do some of the abuser’s dirty work by helping to carry out degrading and persistent smear campaigns of their victims, attacking these victims with intense misogyny and a sadistic glee that is unsettling. They will also enable, protect, and defend abusers with a fury that can appear nonsensical and appalling to outsiders.
6. They pit people against one another using gossip, slander, rumors and triangulation. Research indicates that multiple forms of bullying behaviors, including relationally aggressive bullying behaviors like spreading gossip, are associated with narcissistic traits.Female narcissists will manufacture false rumors, pit people against one another, and slander the reputation of people just to climb the corporate and social ladder. This is to ensure that they remain in control of the narrative and get ahead, positioning themselves as the ultimate authority over the lives of others.
If, for example, they feel threatened by a female friend who appears to be more popular in their social circle, she may begin to spread unflattering rumors about this person or even claim that this friend is talking about their other friends behind their back – just to maintain her own social position of “Queen Bee” in her friendship group. In a familial context, this may look like the narcissistic mother pitting siblings against one another to establish ultimate power and control, scapegoating and abusing one child while giving the other “Golden Child” treatment. She may idealize or devalue either child at any point just to maintain that control and dominion over her family life.
When considering these malignant behaviors, it’s important to recognize that narcissism in women entails far more than taking a few too many self-appreciative pictures or being vain. As a society, we must identify the true indicators of a narcissist’s cruelty and harm: their malicious envy, lack of empathy, entitlement, and the underhanded bullying tactics they use to demean their victims just to get ahead, or to punish them for threatening their fragile ego.
Whether you’re single, having an epic party, or want something to do with your significant other, romantic comedies are a staple of Valentine’s Day celebrations. And why not? They’re sweet, sometimes spicy, and almost always have you believing in love again by the time those romance-packed 90 minutes are up. Not all rom-coms are a must-watch for every person, though. If you want the romantic energy that best fits your personality, check out our list of the movies you should watch based on your zodiac sign. I’ll even tell you exactly where you can stream them. You’re welcome!
Aries: Bridesmaids (2011)Universal PicturesKristin Wiig’s Annie is an absolute mess. She’s trying to be there for her friend’s wedding planning, but her dumpster fire of a life keeps getting in the way. There’s friendship jealousy, unfortunate dress fittings, and a super cute romance with Chris O’Dowd. Bridesmaids is perfect for Aries because it feels like your life is always at least a little off-the-rails. Watch Bridesmaids (2011) on Amazon Prime.
Taurus: The DUFF (2015)LionsgateBianca Piper has just learned that she’s the DUFF of her friend group: The “designated ugly fat friend.” She’s intent on improving her life and finally getting the guy she’s been crushing on for ages, so she asks her buff jock neighbor Wesley Rush to turn her from caterpillar to butterfly. The DUFF is perfect for Taurus because you often worry that you’re not good enough. Watch The DUFF (2015) on Netflix.
Gemini: Mean Girls (2004)Paramount PicturesCady Heron is new to high school and doesn’t quite get the social dynamics of the average teen girl. When she meets Regina George and the Plastics, she sets out to beat them by joining them. Of course, that has disastrous consequences, including Cady falling for Regina’s ex, Aaron Samuels. Mean Girls is perfect for Gemini because you love your rom-coms with just a dash of love and a heaping helping of drama. Watch Mean Girls (2004) on Paramount+.
Cancer: Leap Year (2010)Universal PicturesAnna heads to Dublin to spontaneously propose to her boyfriend, a romantic tradition in Ireland. But when her travel plans go awry, she needs help from cynical and brash Irish local, Declan. It’s the enemies-to-lovers story arc of your dreams. Leap Year is perfect for Cancer because you have some romantic notions that might be helped by falling for a cynic. Watch Leap Year (2010) on Netflix.
Leo: Pride & Prejudice (2005)Universal PicturesHere’s yet another version of Jane Austen’s classic novel all about falling for the prickly man who sucks at sharing his true emotions. This version is top notch for Mr. Darcy’s (Matthew Macfadyen) impassioned speech at the end of the film alone. Cue some serious swooning. Pride & Prejudice is perfect for Leo because you thrive on life-altering drama and would kill for someone to flex their hand at your mere touch. Watch Pride & Prejudice (2005) on Peacock.
Virgo: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)Paramount PicturesMagazine writer Andie (Kate Hudson) comes up with a foolproof plan for a new article: Be as terrible as possible to a man to prove they won’t put up with a clingy, high-maintenance woman. But oh how it backfires when she meets Ben (Matthew McConaughey). How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is perfect for Virgo because sometimes you want to control to much and you won’t learn until you meet your match. Watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) on Paramount+.
Libra: Clueless (1995)Paramount PicturesCher loves her friends and would do anything to help them become better people. She’s a bit of a matchmaker to newcomer Tai, trying to set her up with classmate Elton. But when Tai reveals she has a crush on Cher’s brother, Josh, Cher has some serious feelings she needs to work out. Clueless is perfect for Libra because you care so much about your friends and you sometimes need to learn when to give them space. Watch Clueless (1995) on Paramount+.
Scorpio: La La Land (2016)LionsgateShe’s an aspiring actress. He’s a jazz musician with dreams of owning his own jazz club. They support each other while they go for their dreams, but when their stars don’t align, they’re left to wonder what to do to keep their deep connection alive. La La Land is perfect for Scorpio because you want to believe in love but also might be too cynical for a fairytale happy ending. Watch La La Land (2016) on Netflix.
Sagittarius: Crazy Rich Asians (2018)Warner Bros. PicturesNick has invited his Asian American girlfriend back to Singapore for a wedding. She soon learns a few monumental things: Singapore’s amazing, Nick’s from a wealthy family, and his family is full of a bunch of pretentious snobs who don’t think she’s good enough. Crazy Rich Asians is perfect for Sagittarius because it’ll make you want to fall in love in Singapore–why not?! Watch Crazy Rich Asians (2018) on HBO Max.
Capricorn: Two Weeks Notice (2002)Warner Bros. PicturesAgainst her better judgement, humanitarian lawyer Lucy (Sandra Bullock) has taken a job with millionaire businessman, George (Hugh Grant). He promised he’d help the community, but when he goes back on his word, it’s quitting time. Two Weeks Notice is perfect for Capricorn because you love control and want to be in charge of everything, much to the chagrin of those who date you. Watch Two Weeks Notice (2002) on HBO Max.
Aquarius: Secret Admirer (1985)Orion PicturesToni’s in love with her best friend, Michael, and she’s finally ready to tell him. But when her anonymous secret admirer letter gets into the wrong hands, a slew of misunderstandings will leave everyone reeling. Here’s to all the fans of a friends-to-lovers arc. Secret Admirer is perfect for Aquarius because you like to be the only one whos’ seen a long-forgotten gem. Watch Secret Admirer (1985) on Amazon FreeVee.
Pisces: When Harry Met Sally (1989)Columbia PicturesHarry and Sally keep meeting every few years, and each time they grate on each others’ nerves. They both have different ideas of love and friendship and are the most incompatible duo around. Or are they? When Harry Met Sally is perfect for Pisces because you live for the epic slow-burn and grand statements of love. Watch When Harry Met Sally (1989) on HBO Max.
Some narcissistic and psychopathic individuals sadistically enjoy toying with and deliberately causing pain to others. This gives them a grandiose sense of power and control and a smug sense of satisfaction that they have “one-upped” you with their perpetual cat-and-mouse games. Researchers note that sadism is a key feature of malignant narcissism (narcissism with antisocial traits). Interestingly, other studies report that individuals high in narcissistic and psychopathic traits tend to experience positive emotions when they view sad faces. Neuroscience research also indicates that when psychopathic individuals imagine others enduring pain, there is increased activation in areas of the brain related to anticipation of reward and decreased activation in areas related to empathy. Psychologists have suggested that this may mean that psychopaths not only lack empathy for the pain of others, but that they also take sadistic pleasure in witnessing or even causing the pain and distress of others.
As a researcher who has corresponded with thousands of people who have been in relationships with psychopathic and narcissistic individuals, I have found that there are certain sadistic patterns of behavior common among narcissists and psychopaths who take pleasure in causing pain to their partners. Here are some red flag behaviors and cat-and-mouse games to watch out for:
1. They manufacture chaos by frequently pushing your trigger buttons to exhaust and disorient you so you’re less able to fight back.
Narcissists and psychopaths know exactly which trigger buttons to push – and that’s usually because they installed them in the first place. They know exactly what to mention and how to act in order to provoke your emotions and depict you as “crazy” when you do. During the abuse cycle, they implant insecurities in you and watch you unravel as you fixate on them. They will do this so chronically that you are constantly scrambling to defend, react, and overexplain yourself and become too exhausted to detach from the relationship. This is their equivalent of playing with their “food” or prey and injuring it immensely before devouring it.
By manufacturing chaos by provoking you, they take up your mental resources so you are only focused on them and the relationship and have less time for yourself, your goals, your healing, and your self-care. Such debilitating tactics are similar to the interrogation tactics used on prisoners of war. The victim has less time to recover from the abuse when it is ongoing, frequent or impactful, so they go to the source of pain itself in an attempt to survive the abuse. This is part of the powerful trauma bond you develop to your abuser as a survival mechanism. You seek comfort from your abuser due to their “hurt-and-rescue” methods – where they deliberately wound you, only to come to the rescue with their comfort and fake apologies and promises to never do it again, only to start the cycle once more. This uncertainty and devaluation keeps you perpetually off-kilter and dependent on their validation; much like a cat stalks its prey and swats at it while it runs around trying to avoid being eaten, you’re constantly walking on eggshells, negotiating your self-respect and basic needs with the predator to avoid being swallowed whole.
2. They retraumatize you using your previous traumas and wounds. As difficult as it may be to accept, some narcissists and psychopaths enjoy deliberately rubbing salt on your wounds just to observe your reactions and see how much they can taunt you. That is why they will weaponize the past traumas, insecurities, and fears you’ve disclosed to them against you. For example, if a narcissist or psychopath knows you have been sexually assaulted, they may start referencing victim-blaming beliefs just to taunt you. Or, they may make callous “jokes” about an insecurity you’ve told them about (such as a feature of your face or body), only to claim they were teasing or that you are too sensitive. Regardless of how “off-limits” a topic may be or how inhumane these tactics may seem, they will exploit any vulnerabilities they are aware of or suspect you have. That’s why it’s important to limit disclosure of past traumas and insecurities to partners – until they’ve proven their character long-term.
3. They bait and set you up with information to react to – just so they can rage and engage in crazymaking arguments. There are times narcissists and psychopaths will purposely give you provocative, triggering or contradictory information in order to make you question them, exhaust yourself attempting to understand what they mean or constantly ask for further clarification. They will also frame your calm questions as an “interrogation” so they have an excuse to gaslight and condition you to walk on eggshells around them. This is a set up for them to talk in circles, manufacture chaos and rage, just so they can depict you as crazy. Psychopathy expert Dr. Robert Hare calls this a form of “cold” manufactured rage – one that is not authentic but rather displayed in a shallow, short-lived way to control the victim and keep the victim in his or her “place.” In reality, they wanted you to ask more about the unsettling information they offered so they could provoke you and blame you for reacting. This stems from their sadistic need for power and control, and thirst for manufacturing chaos.
Example: Let’s say narcissistic Bryan wants to set up his girlfriend, Rebecca, for rage and gaslighting. He mentions “casually” that a new coworker and him have begun talking. This is an attempt at jealousy induction for the purpose of power and control, which research shows is associated with both narcissistic and psychopathic traits. Rebecca remarks how wonderful that is and asks him calmly, “What did you guys talk about?” only to have Bryan suddenly manufacture a display of rage and claim that Rebecca is “insecure, jealous, crazy” and “interrogating” him. When Rebecca reminds him gently that he is the one who mentioned the coworker and she was only asking politely, he continues to gaslight and stonewall her, claiming, “I can’t do this with you anymore! You’re so controlling and paranoid! You always want to know everything!” as he rushes out of the room and flees. To an outsider, the scene looks bizarre: Rebecca is calm, gentle, and is expressing polite interest. Bryan, on the other hand, is having a temper tantrum that seems to come out of nowhere.
What just happened here? This is a scenario of a narcissist manufacturing chaos on purpose and setting up the victim to react by laying out “bait” and seeing if the victim takes the bait. When the victim does react, the narcissist punishes the victim for doing exactly what he wanted her to do. Bryan isn’t really enraged – he’s putting on a manufactured display of cold rage to depict Rebecca in a certain light. He knows very well the information he disclosed would cause her to ask a simple question he will later frame as an “interrogation.” This also conditions Rebecca to walk on eggshells and make her hesitant to approach them with questions or express her emotions in the future. Bryan has effectively killed two birds with one stone: he’s gained power and control over Rebecca to make her feel and look insecure, and he’s also gained the leverage to engage in shady behavior in the future by instilling fear in Rebecca about holding him accountable. She now knows the “consequences” of confronting him about his behavior and knows she will be punished for it.
4. They coerce you into self-harm, reckless activity or substance use. According to Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist, psychopathic individuals tend to get bored easily and require constant stimulation. They engage in high-risk activities themselves to gain that stimulation and have no problem encouraging others to do so for their own pleasure and entertainment. This means that testing how far they can “push” you into doing harmful activities is just another cat-and-mouse game for them, especially when you are most vulnerable. They want to know how far the pupeeteer can take the puppet, so to speak. This coercion can happen in a number of different ways. They may encourage you to self-sabotage just when you are making progress on a goal (e.g. encourage you to party before a big exam or interview). They could subtly push you toward self-harm for their own pleasure or show callous indifference during crises when you are already feeling over the edge – in extreme cases, pushing you to self-mutilate or even more sadistically, encourage suicide. They could “suggest” reckless pursuits that could harm yourself or others (e.g. speeding while driving for “fun” or vandalizing property).
The cycle of domestic violence with a narcissist or psychopath can also include a tactic known as “substance abuse coercion.” This is when narcissists and psychopaths encourage the use of drugs or drinking – not just to keep you under the influence, but also keep you under their influence and compliant to more of their abuse – whether it is verbal, psychological, physical or even sexual abuse. They may also deliberately undermine your treatment and recovery efforts, or use the substance use they encouraged against you to restrict your ability to gain employment, take control of your finances, challenge custody of your children or depict you as the abuser to law enforcement. This is a very insidious, dangerous tactic that can allow them to isolate, gaslight and discredit you more easily when you do identify the abuse, because they can claim that you cannot trust your own memory or perception of the abuse since you were “impaired” during abusive incidents.
5. They use hot-and-cold, push-pull methods to get you addicted to their attention, as they withhold affection after intense periods of love bombing. The hot-and-cold intermittent reinforcement of the abuse cycle creates a powerful trauma bond and addiction to the narcissist. This is why narcissists and psychopaths love to lure you in with their false charming mask and plenty of attention and praise, only to sweep the rug up from under you with callous indifference and devaluation that makes you doubt yourself. They may shower you with affection one day, only to give you the silent treatment the next. It gives them a sense of sadistic pleasure to know they have so much control your emotions and will work that much harder to regain their attention. Much like the never-ending chase of cat-and-mouse games, this cycle only continues as the relationship goes on. If you are experiencing the hot and cold tactics of the narcissist, it’s important to go cold altogether.
6. They abandon you during crises, losses, emergencies, and even during your success. Many stories abound of narcissistic and psychopathic individuals abandoning their loved ones in times of great need – whether during a health crisis, in the beginning of a pregnancy, during a loss, a miscarriage, in the middle of nowhere on vacation or a life-threatening illness. They may even abandon your when you are about to celebrate a life-changing achievement or milestone (such as an important anniversary or a graduation). This level of callousness and inhumanity traumatizes many survivors. Some narcissists and psychopaths take a special glee in abandoning you when you most need them, as these are times when they feel they are no longer the center of attention or can no longer milk you for resources and labor.
7. They chronically provoke jealousy on purpose, only to frame your subsequent boundaries or questions as an invasion of their privacy and depict you as “controlling.” Narcissists and psychopaths are adept at deceiving their loved ones. Many lead double lives that may remain hidden for months, years or even decades. One of their favorite cat-and-mouse games to play is provoking jealousy and creating love triangles – only to blame you for questioning them or setting boundaries in response to their shady behavior. As noted in the previous example of Bryan and Rebecca, these manipulators enjoy portraying their partners as “controlling,” “jealous,” and “paranoid,” even though they usually demonstrate these qualities moreso than their partner and deliberately manufacture jealousy on purpose to control you.
For example, if your narcissistic or psychopathic partner has a habit of texting late into the night, you may become suspicious of who they’re contacting, especially if they’ve engaged in deceptive behavior in the past. You may ask to see their phone due to your legitimate suspicions or ask them not to text so late at night as a boundary. In response, they will gaslight you into believing you’re being paranoid, controlling and distrusting. In reality, if a partner has given you sufficient reason to believe they are untrustworthy and has a pattern of deceptive behavior, you have every right to set a boundary, request for more information or ask questions. Remember: they are the ones putting your emotional and physical safety, as well as health at risk. It is not intrusive or “controlling” to set boundaries or hold someone accountable for deceptive behavior while in a committed relationship.
8. They go out of their way to spoil your joy during the holidays and hinder your enjoyment of achievements. Narcissists and psychopaths love toying with their victims during special occasions and holidays. That’s why they’ll suddenly begin rageful arguments leading up to Thanksgiving and become a depressed Grinch during Christmas, spreading negativity and spite to their loved ones. That is why they’ll diminish one of your big accomplishments or even compare you to someone else to ensure you associate your accomplishment with this degrading comparison rather than enjoying the fruits of your labor. Whether it’s making crazymaking accusations before a holiday party to disorient you, comparing you to others to diminish your sense of achievement or deliberately withholding affection and attention when you get a job promotion, these pathological personalities know exactly how to deflate your joy so the focus is on them once more.
9. They provoke fear and make covert threats using “dog whistling”. Narcissists and psychopaths provoke fear regarding their retaliation should you ever dare to leave the relationship. Such a cat-and-mouse game enables them to hold dominion over you and your future choices. You not only fear leaving them, you are also entrapped by the fears they instill in you about the idea that you are not “good enough” to succeed, obtain healthy relationships, or flourish without them. This is because they have trained you over time to feel trauma bonded and attached to the relationship – and to them as a source of validation and approval. They can also employ a covert tactic known as “dog whistling” to humiliate, provoke, degrade, or threaten you in front of others or in private with “coded,” insidious, subtle references that only you understand and appear innocent to outsiders. This allows them to abuse you in public and behind closed doors without being held accountable, making you feel even more isolated, alienated and without support. If you do try to hold them accountable, they will react with faux outrage and convince others around them that they are innocent and you are overreacting.
10. They distort your self-perception by instilling insecurities that never existed. Before you met the narcissist or psychopath, you were likely far more confident, self-assured, goal-oriented and emotionally balanced. Now, you find yourself reactive, walking on eggshells, and feeling chronically off-kilter due to their devaluation. You question and doubt yourself often and find yourself battling insecurities you previously never even thought about, and mentally comparing yourself to people you never would dream of comparing yourself to previously and never knew existed prior to the relationship. That is because these cat-and-mouse games narcissists and psychopaths play are designed to make you lose your sense of self and cater to their whims, impulses and desires. These manipulators feed you a distorted version of yourself and your reality by making outrageous comparisons and subjecting you to cruel and callous comments. You start to see yourself through this distorted lens rather than the reality of how amazing and worthy you truly are. You become conditioned over time to think about what the narcissist or psychopath thinks, wants, feels – and forget about your own desires, emotions, values and boundaries, all of which they’ve gaslit you into believing are pathological and defective. By ruining your self-confidence, narcissists and psychopaths are able to diminish victims who are out of their league in many ways into staying in the abusive relationship.
Escaping the cat-and-mouse games of narcissists and psychopaths requires that you stop thinking of yourself as prey and take on the role of the strategic survivor. You must learn – safely – how to escape the game and plan your exit in a way that protects you from further harm from them. At the end, it is not about whether the narcissist or psychopath “wins” any of these games – they cannot win if there is no one to play with. It is about identifying the red flags, prioritizing yourself and the future that awaits you, and up-leveling out of the game altogether. The only way to “win” in the long-term is being willing to lose the narcissist or psychopath so you don’t lose yourself. Checkmate.
Love looks different for every single person. In episode three, Frank tells Bill, “Love me the way I want you to.” And that’s an important thing to remember. When you’re in love with someone, you should pay close attention to their love language because the things that you expect from them could be entirely different than what they expect from you. Although it’s the thought that counts, it’s much more thoughtful to pay attention to your partner’s desires than to assume your ideas are superior. If you want your love to last, love them the way they want you to — and that starts by listening.
You can love again after having your heart shattered. It isn’t easy for Joel to open his heart again after losing his daughter, but he allows himself to grow close to Tess. And slowly but surely, he is allowing himself to grow close to Ellie. Even though his losses have deeply wounded him, he still says, “You keep going for family. That’s about it.” He might not even realize it himself, but he believes that loving is worth the trouble, worth the pain, worth the uncertainty. Although he’s had his heart shattered in the past, his heart isn’t broken beyond repair. He’s able to love again.
Even the strongest relationships aren’t going to be easy all the time. When you’re in love, the relationship isn’t going to be fun and exciting all the time. It won’t even be happy all of the time. There will be stressful moments, speed bumps that challenge the strength of your love for each other. However, if you are committed to each other and are both willing to put in the effort, you will get through those tough times. Frank put it beautifully when he said, “I’ve had a lot of bad days. I’ve had bad days with you too. But I’ve had more good days with you than with anyone else.”
Love makes you vulnerable.Loving someone is always a risk. There’s always a chance you’re going to get your heart broken in the end, whether it’s on the day that you break up with them or the day that they die. But that risk is worth taking. Bill delivers one of the most beautiful lines of the series when he says, “I was never afraid until you showed up.” But he clearly doesn’t regret gaining that fear. The reward is worth the risk. Loving someone is worth the heartache they could potentially bring one day.
Love can be downright dangerous.If you’ve played the video game, you know how dangerous love can be — and you’re already seeing this in the show too. Characters in TLOU kill to protect their loved ones and to avenge their loved ones. They will go to great lengths for the people they consider family. Love can bring out your softest side, but it can also bring out your most brutal instincts. Like writer Neil Druckmann has stated, “That kind of love, that unconditional love, is beautiful and can be scary at the same time.”
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and Cupid’s arrow is going to be extra favorable on February 14th for a lot of the signs. Whether you’re single and putting yourself out there, or in a relationship with your soulmate — V-Day is going to be an undeniably connected, and romantic affair due to the fact that there is a conjunction between Venus in Pisces and Neptune in Pisces throughout the day.
When the planet of genuine connection crashes into the planet of daydreaming and deeper vision — sparks start to fly, and romance runs high. Your wishes when it comes to love, and what your heart desires, are being heard. Buckle up!
AriesAries, who will catch your attention on Valentine’s Day? A secret admirer may finally reveal their feelings as the conjunction between Venus and Neptune creates a tempting romantic atmosphere. You may notice that your crush or partner is paying more attention to you than usual, and you may find yourself imagining what loving gesture they might have up their sleeve. The celestial energy of the fiery moon in Sagittarius will embolden your hope when it comes to your love life, and you may be inclined to take a leap of faith. If you feel ready to follow your heart, consider Valentine’s Day to be the perfect time to express your true feelings to the person who has caught your eye. Tell them how much they mean to you when the moon forms a favorable aspect with Mercury in Aquarius — the Universe has your back when it comes to this expression, and you may find yourself falling deeper in love with your forever.
TaurusValentine’s Day will bring you and your partner closer together, Taurus, and there will be a natural alignment between you and your soulmate as Venus dances with dreamy Neptune. The unconditional love and friendship created by this conjunction will bring a sense of deep acceptance in your love life. You may find yourself daydreaming about where your relationship will lead in the future, and you will feel encouraged to be more open when it comes to discussing your heartfelt hopes with the person who is the object of your affection. With that being said, your desire for emotional intimacy will deepen as the day progresses, and you may feel ready to take a leap of faith by allowing your partner into your inner world while the moon is in adventurous Sagittarius. Take advantage of this energy to get to know your partner better by being open and honest with them — this energy is all about connection, Taurus. It’s time to dive.
GeminiValentine’s Day may have you thinking about the future of your love life, Gemini. You tend to live in the moment rather than planning for what is coming your way, but on this day you may find yourself daydreaming about commitment, marriage and more due to Venus’ alignment with dreamy Neptune. This conjunction will encourage you to have a more romantic and hopeful approach to love and it is encouraging you to connect yourself to what you want to create and feel with your soulmate in the coming years. You may feel driven to take a leap of faith while the moon is in adventurous Sagittarius, the opposite sign to your own. This is not the time to hesitate, Gemini! The bold energy of the moon will make you eager for love, so don’t be afraid to let your crush or partner know how you truly feel, as the moon forms a favorable aspect with Jupiter in Aries. This could be your cosmic cue to take a special friendship to the next level.
CancerValentine’s Day can be a special day for you, Cancer. As Venus aligns with dreamy Neptune, it might be a good time to reflect on what you believe in when it comes to love. Love isn’t always easy, but this alignment will remind you to keep your chin up and restore your faith in your journey. Embrace the positive and hopeful energy of this transit by finding moments of magic throughout the day, as the moon is in exuberant Sagittarius. This energy is illuminating your work sector, so you could show your work wife or work hubby a little love by surprising them with their favorite coffee or by handing out Valentine’s cards to your coworkers. Later on, prioritize your self-care by enjoying a nice bottle of wine, watching your favorite romantic movie, and pampering yourself.
LeoValentine’s Day will be an intimate experience for you, Leo, as Venus aligns with intuitive Neptune. This alignment will make it natural for you to share your body, mind, and soul with your lover. As the conjunction builds throughout the day, you may feel like your desire for love transcends beyond the ordinary. Embrace your intuition and go deeper than ever before with your partner. The moon in steamy Sagittarius will also add a playful and sensual energy to the moment. With that being said, you may feel more adventurous and want to spend the day in bed with your object of desire, as the fiery moon amplifies passion. Use this opportunity to enhance your intimate bond, Leo. It’s time to turn up the heat!
VirgoValentine’s Day can be an opportunity for you to reflect on what type of commitment you desire in your love life, Virgo. The conjunction of Venus and Neptune on this day will bring your attention to the possibilities that could manifest in your relationship. Instead of focusing on the details, allow yourself to imagine and visualize the kind of love you want to experience. Whatever you think in your mind, you can have in your life, Virgo. It is okay to ask for what you desire. If you have already met your soulmate, it’s important to take the pressure off of yourself when it comes to Valentine’s day. You’re being encouraged to celebrate at home with a cozy, intimate dinner followed by a bubble bath with your partner. The simple forms of connection are always the strongest — don’t ever forget that.
LibraValentine’s Day will bring an extra touch of magic to your love life, Libra, as Venus aligns with dreamy Neptune. This transit will amplify romantic energy and inspire you to take a leap of faith in your relationships. The bold energy of the moon in Sagittarius will give you the courage to speak up and express your feelings, potentially leading to new beginnings in partnership and commitment. Don’t hold back, let your crush or lover know how you truly feel.
ScorpioScorpio, you’re one of the lucky zodiac signs who will be struck by Cupid’s arrow on Valentines Day, due to the fiery conjunction between romantic Venus and dreamy Neptune. This will bring you closer to your heart’s desires. Show your romantic side by surprising your soulmate with a special date, and don’t be afraid to go all out with traditional Valentine’s Day gestures such as red roses and champagne. The presence of a warm Sagittarius moon serves as a reminder for you to have confidence in your romantic endeavors and to take a leap of faith, even if it may be scary. During your special date with your partner, take advantage of the opportunity to deepen your connection by asking thought-provoking questions and increasing emotional intimacy. Trust that this effort will ultimately be worthwhile — there’s beauty in vulnerability, Scorpio. It’s time to open up.
SagittariusValentine’s Day may be a more of a low-key affair for you, Sagittarius. This is due to the energy Venus and Neptune create together when they start their dance within introverted Pisces. Instead of feeling the need to be on the move with your partner, you may find that an easygoing and intimate day together is actually what you desire the most. This can be a great time to discuss your dreams for a home and family with the person you share a deep and rooted connection with. You’re not often the kind of person to talk about the vision you hold for your future, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, but you are being encouraged to open your heart to someone who genuinely sees it clearly, Sagittarius. Valentine’s Day can be a breakthrough for you when it comes to your vulnerability. Don’t try to escape these feelings — they are showing up in your energy for a reason.
Capricorn
As a Capricorn, on Valentine’s Day you may find yourself feeling more open and vulnerable with someone you feel a deeper connection with. This is due to the fact that Venus and Neptune are dancing around in Pisces, which will bring a softer, more romantic energy into your atmosphere. You may want to take the opportunity to express your feelings in a creative way, such as writing a poem on a Valentine’s card. The bold energy of the moon in Sagittarius is also going to encourage you or someone in your life to take a risk and to make a bold move in their romantic desires. With the moon sextiling Mercury in Aquarius, you may be inspired to come up with a unique and unforgettable Valentine’s Day surprise for your crush, or to take a leap of faith elsewhere. Either way — prepare for romance, Capricorn. It’s about time!
AquariusAquarius, Valentine’s Day may be the perfect time for you to take the next step with someone you’re interested in, as Venus and Neptune align in a way that enhances the romantic vibe in your atmosphere and gives you more confidence when it comes to your heart’s desires. With the moon in exuberant Sagittarius, consider doing something extraordinary to make your intentions clear with the person who has caught your eyes. However, to avoid feeling disorganized or anxious, plan ahead and be authentic in your expression of love. Trust your instincts and go with what feels natural — this way you can put yourself out there confidently. Remember that you are enough, as you are. You don’t need to water yourself down or do something that is out of character in order to be chosen or to have your feelings reciprocated. Come as you are, Aquarius. It’s going to be beautiful.
PiscesPisces, with Venus and Neptune aligning in your sign, you may find yourself feeling more confident and positive about your love life. You are being encouraged by the Universe to use this opportunity to be more open about your relationships or to put yourself out there if you are single. With the moon in Sagittarius, you may be in the spotlight on Valentine’s Day, making it a perfect time to share your love life on social media, or try your hand at dating apps and social events. Take advantage of this cosmic attention, as it may attract new romantic opportunities. This is your time to shine, Pisces. Don’t let anything get in your way of attracting what you genuinely want to feel in this world.
Typically I would warn readers about upcoming spoilers for a review such as this, but the entire premise of “Knock at the Cabin” is the spoiler. The trailers strategically give away the plot to get you to the theater and this is one of those all too familiar cases, where the preview is far better than the feature it’s cut from.
It’s tough to point to any one thing wrong in this movie and blame it as the cause of being boring and nearly unwatchable. M. Night Shyamalan has proven himself a very capable director in the past and the setup is solid enough to create a riveting story. Yet, somehow a tale of calamity and apocalypse resting on the shoulders of three innocents held hostage in a cabin, has no emotional draw or strong character arcs to make us invest in the story. With this remote setting, we’re also robbed of the fun of witnessing nearly all of any cataclysm first hand, which packed theaters for fun summer films such as “Armageddon” and “Independence Day”. Even M. Night’s previous installments of “Signs”, and “The Happening” (ever flawed though it may be) were infinitely more watchable with the moments crafted to break the tension and monotony between scenes. This film is different, in that it is designed to come across as tense. The lack of visible devastation is made to add to the doubt of the main character’s decision, but it’s a poorly executed song that plays just one note far too long.
Ultimately, writer and director M. Night Shyamalan is a victim of his own initial success. Riding high off one of the greatest twists in cinematic history in “The Sixth Sense”, and a string of powerhouse children’s performances that created future stars, M. Night had the formula for success. He used it well in his first three studio films following with “Unbreakable” and “Signs”. Then it seems, he embraced his own hype. Pushing to create unique twists and having an unknown affinity for repeatedly casting Bryce Dallas Howard, he quickly veered off course. The luster immediately faded, and previous brilliance appeared as a fluke. Starting with The “Village”, the poor reviews and missing acclaim lasted over a decade, until James McAvoy’s performance single handedly carried the surprise hit “Split” and resurrected M. Night’s name in 2016.
Shyamalan smartly followed up “Split” with the sequel, “Glass” to capitalize on its success, but again the result was ultimately disappointing. Even with McAvoy returning his screen time was diminished and the poor attempt to tie in “Unbreakable” and deliver a twist, fizzled.
Today’s M. Night film’s feel like Twilight Zone episodes that were stretched from 30 minutes to 90. If the twist came at the 29 minute mark just before the end credits, we’d all enjoy them and look forward to the next episode. In a feature film however, the audience has long figured out the punchline by the hour mark and is just waiting for it to be over.
At surface level, “Knock at the Cabin” looks to be a filmmaker going back to his roots. A small, anxious environment is created with supernatural influence and a cute kid thrown in the mix. It has worked well in the past. The performances however were severely lacking. In the worst dialogue written since “The Village” it was apparent that the actors were stumbling over the script and not given room to add anything other than dramatic pauses. Likewise, the premise of the film fails to deliver on anything deep. The entire setup is a basic philosophy 101 question shrouded in pseudo religious wrapping, yet at no point do we really see the main characters discuss the sacrifice of an innocent or devolve as they struggle with who should live or die.
In the opening minutes, four dissimilar strangers arrive to a remote cabin in the woods, occupied by a vacationing couple and their adopted daughter. They break in and subdue the three immediately, while orating the ground rules of the coming apocalypse. The repeated emphasis is that the decision that must be made of choice and sacrifice. Each of the four seemingly normal people are carrying homemade tools that look imposing yet are dated and oddly ineffectual. The visitors immediately spout of their supernatural visions and what brought them together from across the country, yet at no point are we the audience treated to any glimpses into this, which was one of the more intriguing parts of the story. There is also no attempt to dive into the crux of the film’s religious dogma of what is ultimately a tale of a God / Gods / Universe demanding human sacrifice to save the multitude. It’s a story that doesn’t care to dig into religion or offend anyone while also trying to hit on tenets of multiple religions, through extreme vagueness.
From this point forward the film consists of talking heads and creative angles attempting to break up the tedious speeches. It feels like watching classroom presentations as the others stand quietly and still faced in the background, waiting for their turn to speak.
When a “no” is given and no member of the family choses to sacrifice themselves or even discuss it, one of the four captors surrenders themselves to be killed by the other three. It brings about a plague that will kill millions to billions. Or so we’re told that’s what is happening. Again, we don’t see it.
What we as the audience do get to see is the characters watching the tv from the cabin covering news reports of the aftermath of various disasters. That’s right, we watch them watch television. Aside from one POV shot of a tidal wave on cell phone, we are always separated from the big CGI action of the film. One could argue this is all by design to make the characters feel distant from humanity and aid in the doubt cast by one of the choosers, who thinks it is a scam or delusion. I would be more forgiving if Shyamalan hadn’t already showed that he can build more suspense with less. He demonstrated this in “Signs” where we barely get more than a glimpse of the monster until the very end. We were allowed to create terror by filling in the gaps of the unseen. This is not the case here.
One couldn’t help but feel that in the film, this was a budgetary choice and the decision to not let us enjoy the apocalypse was made to save a buck. The cheapness definitely shone through as this ultimately was a one set piece, one room, kidnapping film and at no point do we feel trapped, claustrophobic, or even torn about the decision that “must” be made. The cabin itself was just a place to tell the story and really played no part in the tale other than a reason to have no cell reception to call for help.
Dave Bautista dominates the screen time as he leads the cast of capable talent, accompanied by Jonathan Groff, Ben Aldridge, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Rupert Grint, and newcomer Kristen Cui. Yet they are all boxed in by “Knock at the Cabin”. In a tale of life and death on a global scale, we get few moments of humanity and realness from the cast of seven. For the most part, everyone is unnecessarily calm and delivers dialogue with no sense of urgency or emotion for the world that is dying or people being murdered before them.
The only moments that pull us into the story are the small flashbacks telling the love story of Groff, Aldridge, and their adoption of Cui. These glimpses are a welcome break in the tale and allow us to see them laughing, bonding, and coming together as a family. Even more peculiar, is that it wasn’t used to give them depth and crumble their facades in making this choice. When a sacrifice is finally made it isn’t a journey to get there, so much as tantamount to a kid having to eat their vegetables to get dessert. “Fine, I’ll do it already” is about as good as we get in this film. At that point, we as an audience are also grateful that the end (of the film) is near.
Ultimately there’s no twist, no arc, no special moments that make this worth your tangible or digital dollars. “Split” proved to be a flash in the pan that interrupted what was a decade plus streak of bad films from M. Night Shyamalan. Unfortunately, this entry fits right in with most of his work. It’s a fun sounding, yet unrealized premise delivered by someone with the talent and ability to make great film. The lackluster result is the real catastrophe.
“I get it now.”
It was four magic words said to me by my then-boyfriend. We’d been living together for only a few weeks before I had a massive level-10 migraine. I looked like death. I felt like it, too. I cried in bed while I held a cold, wet washcloth over my forehead and eyes, trying to will the sun out of the sky, the Earth from spinning, my brain from rebelling against me. Me, a person who normally withstands pain like a cold, unmoving statue. Now sobbing into our comforter.
He’d never seen it before. Up until this point, he’d only heard about my migraines through my own descriptions. When we first started dating, I was feeling particularly terrible and had to cancel plans. “I’m sick,” I said, feeling like a corpse.
“Oh, what’s wrong?” he asked with concern.
“I have a migraine.” I could barely get the words out, I was so far down the migraine hole. All communication skills were washed away when the dam broke.
“Oh…that’s a weird way to describe it. That you’re sick.” He didn’t understand why I’d use that word. Why I’d describe it in the same way that you’d say you had a cold or the flu. To him, it was probably just a fancy way to say I had a headache.
I let that one go at the time. I didn’t have much energy to explain when most of my brain was so focused on the pain.
But now, freshly moved in together, he could see the sickness in my face. I looked pale. All the light and happiness had drained from my eyes. I was breathing heavily, sobbing. I was nauseous, sensitive to light and sound. Even to the untrained eye, it was clear this wasn’t “just a headache.” It was more. It was monumental. And unfortunately, it was routine. While this was my first level-10 migraine while living together, it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
He saw me that day, and he finally knew. “I get it now,” he said as he brought me a glass of water, as he re-filled the big bowl of ice water I kept at my bedside to refresh the rag on my head.
He got it. Not just that day, but every canceled plan after. Every time my world crashed to a halt thanks to a neurological disorder I had no control over. That’s what it was like to be with someone who understood and cared about what I was going through. In the three years we lived together, he re-filled my ice water, gave me neck massages any time the tension built precariously close to triggering a full-blown migraine, kept the apartment quiet while I suffered alone in our darkened bedroom. While it might not have been the fairytale living arrangements either or us had envisioned, it brought us closer together.
It’s hard to find people who truly understand the struggle if they haven’t experienced migraines themselves. Even family might not get it. But finding a partner who understands is to be truly seen.
He set the precedent. He’s the ruler I measure all present and future romantic prospects by. As someone with a chronic illness, I can’t accept anything less than a loving and accepting partner. And neither should you.
No one makes it a goal to be single forever. We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with. Even though that is the goal, a lot of us mistakenly go about attaining the thing we want so much in all the wrong ways. We continue to live life in the same way and hope that it will somehow lead to different results. We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.
Being single isn’t a curse and being in a relationship isn’t a cure-all. No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you. It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship. It’s about identifying faulty patterns and thought processes that may be blocking you from getting what you want.
I have written many articles and a book on how to get the relationship you want. There are also ways to guarantee that you never get what you want. Seeing what they are is the first step in correcting the problem. And with that, here are ten ways to stay single forever:
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Don’t ever learn from your mistakes.If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you are bound to keep making them (this was the story of my life for many years!). If you find that you keep ending up in the exact same situations over and over again, it’s time to do some reflecting and consider why it’s happening, and what is leading you to this place. For example, if you keep ending up in pseudo-relationships with guys who act like your boyfriend but won’t call you their girlfriend…try to uncover why you seem to only be drawn to the emotionally unavailable type. Take a look at your patterns and see if you can rewire some default settings.
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Blame your singleness on the fact that there are no good men left.It is statistically impossible for every “normal” guy on the planet to be unavailable. It’s not that all the good guys are taken, it’s that maybe you’re so busy chasing the wrong guys and thinking they can give you what you want that you can’t see and appreciate all the good ones that come your way. Don’t sabotage when it comes to dating.
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Have really high expectations…and justify it by saying this is what you “deserve.”We all have certain criteria when it comes to a partner; some of these can be valid and others border on ridiculous. We don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do and oftentimes what we think we want is not the same as what we actually need. You’ll be surprised what can happen when you stop assessing if he has all the qualities you want and instead try to connect to him as a person.
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Don’t trust how he feels about you.Assume he’s going to dump you, he won’t call you back, he won’t commit, etc. If you convince yourself bad things are going to happen…then you increase the likelihood that something bad will in fact happen. Being paranoid about how a guy feels creates a vibe and energy that can turn this fear into a reality.
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Overanalyze everything.Analyze his texts, the things he said, his posture, the language he used. When you overanalyze, you aren’t being present or authentic. You’re in strategy mode and no matter how stealth you think you are, a guy can always pick up on this energy and it’s off-putting. Instead of being on constant alert and trying to figure out exactly where he stands, maybe ask yourself why you feel you need to date so defensively. What are you trying to protect and how can you release whatever fear is driving you?
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Don’t take care of yourself and try to look your best.It’s been said many times and in many ways…men are visual creatures and physical attraction is extremely important. Attraction works differently for men and women. A woman can develop an attraction to a man because of his internal qualities. Men also need to be attracted to a woman on an emotional and intellectual level, but they will never get there if there isn’t already a strong and established physical attraction. You shouldn’t take care of yourself just to get or keep a man. Do it because it will make you feel good about yourself, which opens the door for many good things in life aside from a relationship.
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Don’t deal with your issues.Most of us have been hurt in the past, be it a painful childhood or a painful breakup. It’s important to remember that issues don’t resolve themselves—you have to put forth some effort. Being in a happy, healthy relationship entails being your best self. You can only let in as much love from the outside as you feel on the inside, so if you don’t make self-love your focus, you will never experience the joys of true love (this applies whether you’re in a relationship or not).
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Settle for “meantime” relationships.If you are at the stage in life where you’re ready to settle down and find a lasting relationship, don’t date guys who clearly are not in the same place! It’s pretty obvious when a guy isn’t serious; you know the signs, but you just ignore them because, well, he’s just so cute and what’s the harm in having a little fling at least to pass the time until someone else comes along….
The harm is this is usually where you end up getting hurt because the more time you spend with him, the more your emotions take hold and drown out your objective reasoning, the part of you that knows it would never work out long-term with this guy. If you want a certain kind of relationship, then date guys who want the same thing. It’s so obvious, yet somehow not.
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Be afraid you’ll never find better.I’m not going to identify all the signs that you’re in a dead-end relationship right now, but oftentimes you know the truth. You know he isn’t going to commit in the way you want but you push that knowledge aside and you stay…because staying just seems easier than walking away and starting again. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll never find better, maybe you’re afraid of being alone, maybe you rationalize that you’ve already invested this much time in the relationship so what’s a few more months or years? Yes, staying can be more comfortable, but think of it this way: as soon as you leave a going-nowhere situation, you are one big step closer to getting the love you actually want.
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Panic over the prospect of being single forever.Sometimes the panic and anxiety oozing out of my single friends is so palpable I almost feel like overwhelmed. Worrying about ending up alone gets you nowhere, the same way that worrying about what to eat for lunch doesn’t magically make a sandwich appear before you. Worrying and overthinking can feel like it’s serving a purpose, but it’s not. Instead, just keep it cool and calm, have faith that you will get the love you want when the time is right and try to just find happiness on your own until you get there.
Valentine’s Day is coming up and the season of love is in full swing! If you’re anything like me, you’re gearing up to watch rom-coms for weeks wrapped in a blanket while eating little candy hearts. Whether you’re watching solo or you’re planning a romantic comedy marathon–and anything in between–we’ve got suggestions for the best ones to watch. No duds here! Look for the streaming services you’re subscribed to for the best rom-coms they have to offer.
Best Romantic Comedies on NetflixAlways Be My Maybe (2019)NetflixMarcus and Sasha have been best friends since they grew up next door to each other as kids. When one night in their teens leads to an awkward moment in Marcus’s car, they drift apart and live separate adult lives. But Sasha, now a famous celebrity chef, is back in town and they can’t deny their chemistry. If you love friends-to-lovers storylines, this high-quality Netflix Original is a must-see. There’s an amazing cameo in this movie, so try to watch Always Be My Maybe without that part getting spoiled.
Someone Great (2019)NetflixSomeone Great follows Jenny as she’s recovering after a breakup from the love of her life. She calls on her friends Blair and Erin to spend the day with her as a way to get over the heartbreak with good old-fashioned sisterly bonding. If you’re going through a breakup yourself, especially if you both still love each other, this one will make you cry in the best of ways. Sometimes love doesn’t happen the way you want it to.
The Age of Adaline (2015)LionsgateMore romantic drama than comedy, The Age of Adaline shows what happens to the relationships around Adaline Bowman when an accident leaves her immortal. She doesn’t age while those she loves get older around her. While much of this is heartbreaking–particularly her relationship with her daughter–it shows that deep love can endure for an eternity. This is an underrated gem that won’t disappoint.
Best Romantic Comedies on HuluCrush (2022)HuluWhat better way to get closer to your crush than to join the track team? But when Paige starts growing closer with curmudgeonly teammate AJ–the sister of her original crush–she has to figure out how she feels and if the crush is one-sided. Crush is an adorable modern teen rom-com that will transport you right back to the hallways of your high school. But in a cute way.
The Proposal (2009)Walt Disney PicturesWhen high-powered businesswoman Margaret (Sandra Bullock) learns that she’s about to be deported back to Canada, she asks her assistant, Andrew (Ryan Reynolds), to marry her for the citizenship. The trouble? They have to visit her family while trying to convince everyone they’re in love. The cast is jam-packed with comedy greats, including the late powerhouse Betty White in a late-career-defining performance.
He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)Warner Bros. PicturesBased on the self-help book of the same name by Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You is an ensemble rom-com showing all the ways, good and bad, of how relationships start, end, and endure. Though there are many little interweaving storylines to watch out for, it’s the sweet progression between Alex and Gigi that make this one a must-watch for Valentine’s Day.
Best Romantic Comedies on Amazon Prime VideoMarry Me (2022)Universal PicturesFamous diva singer Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) is supposed to be marrying her famous fiancé on stage at her concert, but when the news breaks that he’s been cheating, she pulls a fan (Owen Wilson) on stage instead. Now they’re committed to the marriage even though they don’t even know each other. This movie came out when most rom-coms come out straight-to-streaming. It shows us all how truly grand–and actually amazing–the studio romantic comedy can still be.
Love Actually (2003)Universal PicturesThe quintessential ensemble rom-com that every other strives to surpass with little success, Love Actually is great whether it’s the holiday season or a late night around Valentine’s Day. Watch as some of your favorite British actors show you the wide range of heartbreak and butterflies that fills realistic love stories. Though there’s so much high quality acting here, nothing beats the true sadness of Emma Thompson quietly listening to Joni Mitchell on Christmas Eve.
Sixteen Candles (1984)Universal PicturesIt’s Samantha Baker’s sixteenth birthday…and none of her family remembered. That’s okay–there’s a high school dance tonight and she’s hoping she’ll see her crush, Jake Ryan. While some aspects of the movie definitely haven’t aged well, it’s still one of the best rom-coms for anyone currently dealing with a massive crush on someone who’s seemingly out of their league.
Best Romantic Comedies on HBO MaxValentine’s Day (2010)Warner Bros. PicturesOf course, you can’t celebrate this day of love without watching the romantic comedy devoted to the holiday. Like Love Actually and He’s Just Not That Into You, Valentine’s Day is an ensemble film with a huge all-star cast and a bunch interweaving storylines. It all takes place on Valentine’s Day, with the relationship highs and lows that make love such a fickle thing.
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)Warner Bros. PicturesRachel’s boyfriend Nick has invited her to come with him to Singapore for a family wedding. When she arrives she’s met with a big surprise: He’s from a wealthy and unwelcoming family. Can their relationship withstand the family drama, or will the culture shock be too much? This movie is sweet, beautiful, and will leave you feeling all warm and fuzzy. (Plus, it has Michelle Yeoh playing Nick’s overbearing mom, who’s a living legend.)
Crazy Stupid Love (2011)Warner Bros. PicturesCal (Steve Carell) is going through a separation from his wife. When he meets the young hotshot Jacob (Ryan Gosling), the younger man promises to mold him into an irresistible guy the ladies can’t get enough of. Then there’s Hannah (Emma Stone), who might just tame the player in Jacob. This movie is one of the most hilarious on this list and the final climax will leave you dead from laughter.
Best Romantic Comedies on Paramount+The Lost City (2022)Paramount PicturesWant a little adventure with your romance? Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) is a romance author who gets captured by a crazy billionaire (Daniel Radcliffe) and shipped out to a tropical island to help find a treasure she wrote about in her books. Her cover model Alan (Channing Tatum) flies out to save her, but he might not have the skills necessary to pull it off. This film is just as good as good–if not better than–exactly what you were hoping for.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)Paramount PicturesAndie is tasked with writing a magazine piece titled “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” and playboy Benjamin is her mark. She has to do all the things to turn him off, but things don’t go as planned. Now they’re both at war, trying anything to “win” at this relationship. This is perfect for fans of an enemies-to-lovers romance or those who loved Matthew McConaughey’s early 2000s rom-com era.
Clueless (1995)Paramount PicturesOkay, is it weird that this is a movie about a teen girl falling for her college-aged step brother? Sure. But when you consider that he’s is played by a young Paul Rudd, you can forgive the weird family romance vibes. Plus, Clueless is dripping with so much ’90s nostalgia that you’ll come away with a new vocabulary and an entirely new wardrobe.
Best Romantic Comedies on Disney+Never Been Kissed (1999)20th Century FoxJosie Geller (Drew Barrymore) works for a newspaper and is hoping to become a lead writer. When they need someone to pretend to be a high school student for a story, she jumps at the chance. The only problem? She was a nerd in high school and has no idea how to fit in with the cool kids. This rom-com classic spawned some great quotes. “I’m not Josie Grossy anymore!”
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)Buena Vista PicturesIf Bianca Stratford wants to go to the school dance, she has to get her sister to go. Unfortunately, no one wants to go out with cynical feminist Kat Stratford–that is until Aussie bad boy Patrick Verona agrees in exchange for money. This is the late Heath Ledger at the start of his career, and he’s about to steal your heart, as well as Kat’s.
The Princess Bride (1987)20th Century FoxThe Princess Bride is one of those universally loved romantic comedies that anyone would be down to watch, no matter the gender. It’s a fantasy adventure epic all about a man who will do absolutely anything–including becoming a pirate, fighting off a creepy prince, and crawling back from the brink of death–just to be with the woman he loves.
Best Romantic Comedies on PeacockBros (2022)Universal PicturesCynical podcaster Bobby and sports-loving Aaron don’t seem like they’d go well together, yet they can’t seem to stay away from each other. But can they handle their differing worlds or will the “opposites attract” energy end up in failure? Big studio rom-coms about two men falling in love are few and far between, which makes Bros such a welcome addition to the genre. Plus, it’s totally worth all the hype.
Warm Bodies (2013)Summit EntertainmentThis is a zombie romance. I know that’s a little out-there, but just stay with me. R (Nicholas Hoult) is a zombie. He lives in an old grounded airplane and spends his time shambling, collecting trinkets, and longing for something more. When he meets warm-blooded human Julie, he wonders if that long-dead heart of his might finally be beating again. Warm Bodies is criminally underrated and very much worth the watch.
13 Going on 30 (2004)Sony PicturesWhen Jenna Rink (Jennifer Garner) wishes to be “30, flirty, and thriving” on her 13th birthday, she gets her wish. She wakes up as an accomplished 30-year-old, and she has no idea how to cope. She looks to her childhood bully-turned-friend Tom-Tom and her longtime best friend Matt for help. But is being 30 all it’s cracked up to be if she’s feeling so unfulfilled? Even almost 20 years old, this rom-com is still A+.
Best Romantic Comedies on ShowtimeTwilight (2008)Summit EntertainmentBella Swan just moved to gloomy Forks, Washington and now has gained the attention of elusive high school heartthrob Edward Cullen. You can’t get through Valentine’s Day without watching Twilight at least once. The series floats around the streaming services, but the current home of this vampire romance is on the Showtime app. Heck, you could turn this into a marathon and binge the whole series.
The Holiday (2006)Sony PicturesKate Winslet and Cameron Diaz are switching homes for Christmas to get away from the men in their lives. But when they arrive, their met by the charming Jack Black and Jude Law, respectively. How can they resist? It doesn’t matter that this romantic comedy is set during the holiday season–it’s still a must-watch any time of year.
One of the biggest relationship mistakes I see women make is stressing over their relationship, whether it’s in the dating stage or in a more established relationship.
The stressing is tied to a fear of losing the guy, and what that will mean to her. It almost feels like a way to protect ourselves from getting hurt but it doesn’t have the intended effect and instead we may set the stage for the exact scenario we fear to come to life.
When you stop stressing out over the relationship, you are free to really be in the relationship. You can see the other person for who he is, and you can give yourself to him freely–no strategies, no game-playing, no manipulation. You won’t feel a need to control anything. You can just be, and there is no greater feeling than that.
But how do we do it? How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and sounding alarm bells?
- Realize Stressing/Overthinking Gets You NowhereFirst, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. It causes problems within the relationship but more importantly, it takes a huge toll on your sense of self and self-esteem. When you care too much, you inevitably become attached to a certain outcome. You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. And if they don’t, then you suffer on many levels.
I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. It was always the same pattern. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilities…and then became scared that my imagined future wouldn’t come to be…and then panic set in. From then on, the relationship was no longer enjoyable. Every interaction and conversation became a test to see exactly where he stood and how he felt.
Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about. The problem is that our minds trick us into believing there is some sort of payoff to this type of thinking. Like it will somehow lead us to a place of confidence and clarity. It won’t. It will lead you in the opposite direction and cause you to feel even more uncertain and insecure.
- See a Relationship for What It IsLet’s talk about what a relationship is and isn’t. We’ll start with what it isn’t. A relationship isn’t a measure of your worth or worthiness in this world. It is not there to serve you and give you things like happiness and self-esteem. It is not there to make you feel good about life and about yourself. This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built.
A relationship also isn’t some sort of milestone, a sign that you’ve “made it,” that you will be OK, that you are now a member of some elite club. It isn’t something you work to acquire. It is not a goal to achieve.
A relationship is an experience to be had and shared. It is about discovering how compatible you are with someone else, and if there is enough chemistry and compatibility to form a lifelong partnership. The only work you have to do is to make sure you are your best self and get to a place where you can give and receive love. No amount of plotting or analyzing will change whether you and someone else are compatible. You either are or you aren’t. The dating process is more of a discovery process to find out if it’s there.
So you enter into the relationship as your best self and then one of two things happens: it works out, or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, you’re OK because you know that it just means you weren’t a match with that person. It doesn’t mean you’re flawed or damaged or bad or unlovable. It just wasn’t a match. Sometimes you’ll be able to see this, and sometimes the other person will have that clarity. Either way, if it doesn’t work, it’s because it wasn’t the right fit. That’s all!
If you can realize this, really realize it, then there will be absolutely nothing to stress over.
- Set a Freak-Out DeadlineA lot of us make the mistake of prematurely freaking out over something that really turns out to be absolutely nothing. For example, let’s say you start seeing a new guy and things are going great. You talk regularly, go on fun dates, it seems to be going really well. But then you don’t hear from him for a day or two and immediately hit the panic button.
And then the devastation starts to creep in, followed by the doubts. What did I do wrong? Was it something I said? Something I did? Why do the guys I like always leave me? You feel a sense of dread deep in your gut and you know, you just know, that he’s never coming back.
Meanwhile, in boy land, he’s been really slammed at work and has barely had a minute to come up for air. In his mind, the relationship is going great, he’s happy to have met a great girl like you and he can’t wait to finish this big project so he can see you again. He’s happily going along doing his thing while you are knee-deep in heartbreak mode, mourning the loss of what could have been and trying to figure out where it all went wrong.
And just when the agony is at its peak, he calls or texts! And everything is fine! You’re relieved, but at the same time, you are so in it now. You cling to the relationship even tighter because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you’d lost it, and you vow not to do anything to screw this up.
I’m not saying the relationship will be doomed after this point, but I can guarantee it will cause a major shift in the dynamic and it will definitely ruin your ability to actually enjoy the relationship anymore.
Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline. For example, if you started seeing a guy and don’t hear from him for a day or two, say, “I will not panic about this right now. If I don’t hear from him by this day at this time, then I am allowed to be upset,” and then just take it out of your mind.
This also works if you’re in a more established relationship. Let’s say you don’t see your partner as often as you’d like. Maybe you’d like to go on dates more regularly or see him a few times during the week. Tell yourself that you will be fine with things for the time being, and if nothing changes in two weeks, then you can be upset about it and deal with it. Or let’s say you’re in a serious relationship and there has been talk of getting engaged, but he hasn’t popped the question yet. Instead of getting angry about it, just give yourself a deadline. If he doesn’t propose in the next month, then I will be upset and I will deal with it. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the relationship and not let this bother me.
This little exercise will help you train your mind to stay calm and avoid spinning into a frenzy. It will help you gain control over your thoughts and your mood, and this will be of major benefit to you and your relationship. And the funny thing is, whatever problem you wanted to get really upset about right away usually resolves itself before the deadline you set! I’m telling you, it really works.
- Be PresentThe biggest problem with stressing over your relationship is that it takes you out of the relationship and into a place that’s not real. When you get stressed and anxious, you’re no longer interacting with the person sitting in front of you, you’re interacting with the thoughts in your mind. You fixate on an imagined future and worry about how and if you’ll get there with him. Stop doing this!
Instead, just be present. Be right here, right now. When you go on a date with a guy, whether it’s the first or the fiftieth, all you should be thinking about is enjoying your time with him and building a connection. If you’re in the early stages of dating, the only thing to decide is whether you want to go on another date with this person (and save that consideration for after the date). Don’t size him up and look for signs that he’s the one and this is it. Don’t scan him to determine how he feels and if he likes you. Just enjoy it for what it is and let the process unfold organically. No stress!
When you worry about where this is going and if there’s a future, you blind yourself to what’s in front of you and hinder your chances of forming a real connection. You can’t connect with someone who isn’t there with you in that present moment. Most people don’t see other people, they only see their concerns of the moment, and they clutter their minds trying to figure out how he feels, what he’s thinking, and so forth. The concern and worry and doubt feels like it’s serving a purpose, but it’s not! It’s actually taking you further away from where you want to be. A relationship is what’s in front of you, that’s it!
Now I’m not saying you should never think about the future or discuss where things are heading, there is a time for that. Discussing the relationship or the future isn’t the problem, the problem occurs when the mindset you have about the relationship revolves around what you want and are afraid you won’t get, instead of what you have. When you’re full of anxiety and fear, and you panic thinking about what will or won’t be in the future, you have an unhealthy mindset. The best way to fix this is to try to just be present.
- Stop Fixating on What Things Supposedly MeanAs women, we’ve all been programmed to see having a relationship as some sign that we’ve made it, that we’re worthy. Being single is seen as something to be pitied and being in a relationship is something to covet. As a result, a lot of us measure our worth by our relationship status. If a guy leaves, that means we’re unworthy and we weren’t good enough to have this thing that we’ve been told we need in order to be good enough. It’s hard to undo years of faulty programming when it’s been so firmly ingrained into our psyche, but it is possible.
Remember, only you can determine your own worth. You won’t get a sense of your own value from a bottle or from a man or by splurging on the latest trends. You set the standard for how valuable you are. You do this by living a rich, fulfilling life filled with things you love. You do things that make you happy, you work on improving yourself, you develop your talents, you take care of yourself, you do things that tap into your essence and allow you to express your true self. This is how self-esteem is built. If you wrap up your identity in what men think of you, or what your relationship status is, you will never ever feel satisfied.
In any relationship, you need to have faith in yourself and trust that no matter what happens, you will be OK and you can handle whatever life throws at you. Anytime you start to panic, anytime your mind starts spinning and you worry that he’ll leave, that he’s losing interest, that he’s not that into you and what are you going to do if he leaves? How will you go on? Remember: you’ll be fine! You were fine before you met him and you’ll be fine if he decides to leave. You are OK. Everything will be OK. Say it to yourself as many times as you need to, until it really penetrates!
- ComplimentsNo man will ever come right out and tell you he likes it when you compliment him because it’s a weird thing to ask for, and also not very “manly,” if you will. But just because he doesn’t ask, doesn’t mean he doesn’t crave.
Men also feel insecure about their physical appearance, and they don’t get nearly as much validation as we do. Think about it, when a guy posts a picture on Facebook or goes out with friends he doesn’t have a loyal band of cheerleaders commenting on how great he looks. When it comes to his physical appearance, you’re really his only source of compliments, so load him up! Tell him you think that shirt is sexy on him, that you can tell he’s been working out hard at the gym, that a certain color makes his eyes look even more striking, that his hair looks sexy pushed back … you get the point!
- When you ask for his adviceYou know how amazing it feels when your man cherishes and adores you and showers you with love? Well he gets the same feeling when you ask for his advice. Men have an overwhelming need to feel useful, to feel like they have something of value to offer. This is true in all areas of his life and especially so in relationships. He wants to feel like he is adding to your life in a meaningful way, and you can help him feel this way by soliciting his advice and opinions.
When I get relationship questions from readers I love sharing them with my husband just to get his take and insights. Usually I already know the answer to the problem (I’ve been doing this for quite a while now!) but I still love sharing it with him and getting his feedback. And he absolutely lights up when given the chance to offer his input.
Men in general are very solution-oriented and thrive when there is something to be solved. That’s why a man will typically try to solve your problems when you talk to him about something that’s upsetting you, something most women get frustrated by because all we really want in those moments is emotional support, and men don’t realize that giving said support is more of a solution to the problem than actually solving the problem! (And if your guy does this, try not to get angry at him, just kindly tell him you appreciate his advice, but right now you just want his emotional support.)
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When you desire himYou don’t always need to wait for him to initiate physical affection. Men love feeling like they’re irresistible—like you are turned on by him and can’t get enough—so flirt with him, seduce him, initiate physical intimacy. A huge turn-on for a man is seeing how turned on his woman is by him!
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When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel goodMen want to make the woman they are with happy; this is actually one of the biggest driving forces for a man in a relationship. In fact, if a man doesn’t think he can make a particular woman happy, he most likely won’t want to continue a relationship with her. And men appreciate it when you tell them how to make you happy as long as it’s done in the right way. The right way does not include nagging, guilting, lecturing, or shaming. It entails lovingly telling him what you like and what you want in a way that makes him feel good. Framing something as, “I really love it when you …” rather than “Why don’t you ever …” is a good place to start.
When you lecture a man or come down on him for what he’s doing wrong, he feels like a failure. He also feels like a little kid being scolded by mommy for misbehaving. When you tell him what you want in a way that makes him feel good, he feels good about doing it and good about himself because he knows how to make you happy.
- SupportOne of the greatest feelings to a man in a relationship is feeling like he has a woman in his corner, someone who believes in him no matter what and sees him for the great man he is and the amazing man he could be. There is comfort in knowing that you will be there for him even if he fails, especially since failure is the hardest thing for men to deal with. When you support him and believe in him, and it comes from a true and genuine place, he feels on top of the world, like he can do anything. Most women don’t realize the enormous impact our approval has on men; in fact, I would say your guy is starving for your approval. When you’re proud of him, it is a huge driving force. Conversely, when you’re disappointed in him, it’s crippling and makes him feel like a worthless loser.
BonusAll the five things listed actually fall under the umbrella of the number one thing all men want but will never tell you and that is … appreciation.
Appreciation is probably the biggest motivator for a man and it’s something most are starved for. In order to keep your relationship happy and fulfilling, it’s crucial to express appreciation for all the things he does, both big and small. As I mentioned, men are starved for your approval and they need to feel like winners. When you express genuine appreciation, you’re killing two birds with one stone and giving him the greatest gift you can give. The worst thing you can do is to expect certain things from him or act entitled.
Appreciation isn’t just about what he does for you, it’s about appreciating who he is. Show appreciation for his good qualities, his values, his ambitions, his life choices. Find those things you love about him and show him you appreciate them. Don’t assume he just knows, because he doesn’t. This is probably the most powerful and transformative relationship skill that you can ever master.
Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals seek power and control over others. This is a driving force behind their exploitative behavior, and research indicates that they can engage in unprovoked bullying and aggression, instrumental aggression to achieve a goal and reactive aggression toward others. Contrary to the myth that such manipulators are always operating from low self-esteem, grandiose narcissists and psychopaths tend to have high self-esteem, confidence and even fearlessness. Some even take a sadistic joy in deliberately provoking others. It is no wonder, then, that their romantic partners can experience symptoms of PTSD due to the effects of their callous, exploitative traits and underhanded manipulation tactics.
During the initial stages of dating, a narcissistic or psychopathic individual will usually be on their “best behavior” and put on their most charming false mask to impress you. They are masters of impression management and positive first impressions. They will excessively flatter and praise you (a manipulative tactic known as love bombing) with constant attention, contact and affection.
However, once their victims are hooked and sufficiently invested in the relationship, the false mask will start to dissipate, and the narcissist’s true self will emerge. This is when the period of abuse known as “devaluation” begins. During the devaluation phase of the relationship, the narcissist or psychopath will withhold the following three elements of the relationship to gaslight you into believing you are the problem:
1. Withholding of affection and attention. One of the first elements of a relationship with a narcissist which will undergo an abrupt shift is the attention and affection the narcissist or psychopath once showed you. This abrupt withdrawal can cause emotional whiplash and causes victims to doubt themselves and their worth. Narcissists will deliberately shower you with excessive attention, contact, praise, and affection during the love bombing phase – only to begin to withhold that attention and affection during the devaluation phase.
Such hot-and-cold tactics serve as a form of conditioning known as intermittent reinforcement in the abuse cycle, creating an addiction in the brain to the narcissist, since you experience a greater increase in dopamine when “rewards” are given on an unpredictable schedule rather than predictable schedule. This can compel victims to chase after the narcissist’s attention and double down on trying to make themselves more “loveable” or “worthy” to the narcissist so they can gain the dopamine-rich “reward” of the narcissist’s now unpredictable attention and affection. In the beginning, narcissists were the ones who had to work hard to capture your interest – during the abuse cycle, they train you to perceive them and their attention as valuable and scarce. Narcissists tend to target victims they deem “special and unique” and often have qualities “out of their league,” yet this sudden withholding of affection and attention can make their victims feel as if the narcissist is the one who is valuable and sought after, even if this is far from the reality. This “push-pull” and “hot and cold” method is also a notorious tactic among pick-up artists.
The other reason this withdrawal of attention and affection works so well is because it preys on the victim’s deepest insecurities, wounds, and fears – and instills new insecurities and fears that never even existed. It causes victims of narcissists to hyperfocus on their perceived flaws or insecurities that the narcissist manufactures and see themselves through a distorted lens. It causes victims to ask, “Why are they treating me this way?” and to engage in self-blame.
This is a way for them to maintain power and control over you so that you work harder to get their attention. Victims start to internalize the narcissist’s sudden devaluation of them as evidence that there is something wrong within them instead of identifying that the narcissist’s inconsistent behavior is what is problematic and a red flag of manipulation.
This form of withdrawal is especially powerful when the narcissist overwhelms you with an immense amount of sexual and romantic attention in the beginning, only to suddenly distance themselves to prevent you from having too much “power” in the relationship and over them. The narcissist does this to cause their victims falsely assume and feel that they are undesirable in some way, even though the narcissist ardently desired and pursued them in the beginning. This is a way to kick their victims off the pedestal and sit on the pedestal themselves as the victim scrambles to regain their affection.
This is also a potent tactic the narcissist tends to use on confident, attractive victims – victims who the narcissist knows have many options and victims who are already validated by others on their desirability and attractiveness. If you are someone who receives an immense amount of positive feedback from others and are “out of the league” of the narcissist, the narcissist will devalue you even more strongly and aggressively because they know they have to pull out all the stops to convince you that you are inferior or defective in some way – precisely because you have so much feedback and evidence to the contrary.
How to resist the sudden withdrawal: When a narcissist withholds affection and attention, especially after an intense period of love-bombing, it’s important not to chase them or increase your efforts. Do not reward “bad behavior” by treating them as more valuable or putting them on a pedestal. Instead, use this as a “cooling off” period of detachment where you take them off the pedestal, mentally devalue them by seeing their true, undesirable traits, minimize contact and recognize the true manipulation that is going on. Identify this inconsistency as a turn off and something that only a low-value partner would attempt in order to make you more interested in them. When any dating partner uses hot and cold tactics to win you over, go cold altogether.
Do not internalize the narcissist’s behavior as something that is wrong with you – if you do notice insecurities and fears arising in response to this devaluation and withholding, address them head-on by boosting inner confidence in that arena – whether by engaging in self-compassion and self-appreciation, reminding yourself of healthy feedback from others or working on that facet of your life to match what you desire for yourself and not for the narcissist.
It is important to reality check during an abuse cycle with a narcissist and recognize that your addiction to the narcissist has nothing to do with their merit and everything to do with the power of hot and cold intermittent reinforcement which acts like a drug to the brain. Rather than chasing the next “fix” of a reward that may not come, detox from the narcissist and reclaim your life.
2. Withdrawal of their time. In the beginning of the relationship, the narcissist used constant contact to ensure they were on your mind all day long – and to better isolate you so you didn’t spend your time on other options and realize you deserved better than them. Research indicates that narcissistic love bombing tendencies are associated with excessive text and media usage in relationships. During the devaluation phase, you may have noticed a significant reduction in their texts, phone calls and in-person meetings, or abrupt disappearances during times they would usually be present (for example, the absence of a good morning text they would send you every day and conditioned you to expect).
You may have also noticed them frequently stonewalling you and disappearing when you try to bring up any concerns about the relationship or subjecting you to the silent treatment. This is because they no longer need to use excessive contact to grab your interest once you’ve started to reciprocate that interest. Instead, they’ll begin “breadcrumbing” you with just enough attention to stay in the relationship, chasing you only when you seem to lose interest, when they fear they are losing you or when they believe you have other suitors that could serve as competition.
As a result, you begin putting in most of the effort to maintain contact and become increasingly frustrated as you attempt to regain the honeymoon phase of the relationship and the baseline of attentiveness the narcissist set up in the beginning. The narcissist may depict your attempts to reconnect with them as being “needy and insecure” even though they set up these expectations for constant contact in the beginning, or provide excuses as to why they’re no longer as available – excuses that have just enough plausible deniability to make you doubt yourself and their manipulative withholding.
How to respond to their withholding of time: Rather than giving even more of your time to the narcissist to convince them of your “worth,” reclaim your own time by giving less of yours to the narcissist. As you break the trauma bond and plan a safe exit from the relationship, spend your time wisely by prioritizing yourself, your healing, and your goals. Work on building your dream life outside of the narcissist and striving toward your ideal self. Consider the narcissist’s stonewalling or silent treatment as a secret blessing and gift: a space where you can brainstorm on how to leave the relationship, recover, succeed, and be reborn. Recondition yourself from expecting constant contact with the narcissist with instead using the extra space and time you now have to detach from the relationship and to pour better, more authentic sources of peace and joy onto yourself, your goals and onto empathic people who actually deserve your time, presence and energy. Think of your own presence and time as a privilege and honor, something the narcissist will no longer have unfettered and unlimited access to. They are now the ones who will have to fight to regain that access to your time, energy, and life – and you will not give it to them, no matter how hard they try. This will allow you to invest your time, effort, and energy in worthy aspirations that actually yield benefits, rather than investing in a toxic person with high costs and no positive return on your investment.
3. Withholding of compliments, healthy praise and emotional support. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals will also withhold healthy praise and emotional support from you during the devaluation phase of the relationship. In the beginning, they may have excessively complimented you and showed support for your positive traits and accomplishments to get you addicted to their positive feedback. They may have helped you through your daily struggles or adverse circumstances, or given you encouragement on your goals.
In the devaluation phase, they begin to withhold compliments, emotional support and validation, and may even begin to actively detract from your positive qualities and achievements in an attempt to get you to “impress” them or gain their approval. They may even sadistically compliment others to provoke you and get you to compete, while withholding praise from you. They may also verbally abuse and emotionally invalidate you, only to comfort you later on, using “hurt and rescue” methods to get you trauma bonded to them. This is to position themselves as the dominant and powerful one in the relationship, the arbiter of your self-esteem and emotional experiences. As you begin to question the narcissist on why there is a sudden shift, they may pretend nothing has changed, gaslight you into believing you are expecting too much from them or act callous and indifferent in response to your concerns.
How to respond to withholding of healthy praise and support: Rather than seeking validation from the narcissist, seek validation from within and from empathic people who remind you of your positive qualities and can help you during trying times. Keep a list of positive feedback you’ve received to remind yourself what healthy praise looks like and what healthy support looks like. Validate your emotions and be gentle with yourself. Seek professional support to process your traumas, gain authentic comfort and safety from a validating source and to identify the “hurt and rescue” methods of the narcissist. Compliment yourself daily on both external and internal attributes and celebrate your achievements to build your self-esteem and to keep yourself grounded in what you do deserve to experience in a healthy relationship. Match the narcissist’s energy and stop complimenting and praising the narcissist: they do not deserve what they no longer give to you. This will also help you detach from them so you can exit the relationship, as they will no longer see you as an endless source of “ego stroking” and narcissistic supply for them. You are better off using that energy and effort on people who are truly worthy of your support.
If you are dating a narcissist and experience any forms of withholding or narcissistic diversion tactics to belittle you, it is better to detach sooner than later. Recognize that any form of withholding is a foreshadowing of more mistreatment and abuse to come. Don’t withhold the healthy love you do deserve from yourself by staying with the narcissist – instead, identify the red flags, cut your losses early and invest in yourself.
The T. S. Eliot Foundation today made available—online and free-of-charge–all of the 1,131 letters that the Nobel-Prize-winning poet wrote to Emily Hale, his secret American muse, over the course of nearly three decades. The posted materials also include a small number of letters from Hale that were found in the Eliot home and not among that those that Eliot had arranged to be destroyed.
The letters had been embargoed at Princeton University Library for fifty years after Hale’s death in 1969. When they were first opened on January 2, 2020, researchers had to travel to the library to read and transcribe them, and were not permitted to make copies. Then, within a few months, access to the letters was restricted again when the library was forced to close its doors because of the Covid-19 pandemic.
But scholars who were able to review any of the letters found them astonishing—both in the depth of the emotions that Eliot expressed and the range of topics he wrote about.
Lyndall Gordon, author of The Hyacinth Girl, a new book about how the women in Eliot’s life impacted his work, commented: “To read Eliot’s letters to Emily during the thirties and early forties is to enter poems in the making. His letters to her grant a new lens: here is an Eliot who is intensely ardent.”
Robert Crawford, author of Eliot After The Waste Land, observed that in the letters, Eliot “comes through as a much more emotional and passionate person than people have given him credit for. The letters to Emily give us a remarkable insight into Eliot.”
Eliot himself brought more attention to the letters by arranging for Harvard University’s Houghton Library to release a letter he wrote on the same morning that Hale’s letters first became available. In his letter, Eliot disavowed the suggestion that he had ever loved her, saying his love was that of “a ghost for a ghost.” That description, scholars concluded, was, in Gordon’s words, “untrue, flagrantly so.” Eliot’s letter also confirmed that he had arranged to have the bulk of Hale’s letters destroyed.
When the letters’ embargo ended in 2020, Eliot’s publishers had planned to publish them in a print volume, edited and annotated by John Haffenden, who worked on most of the nine previously published volumes of Eliot letters, covering the years through 1941. But the sheer number and length of Eliot’s letters to Hale would have necessitated two volumes, at academic press price points. It was later announced that they would be made available for free to the public at https://tseliot.com/, a website managed by the Eliot Estate and Eliot’s publisher, Faber & Faber.
Dan Linke, who served as interim director of the Princeton Library’s Special Collections when the Eliot-Hale letters were first opened, said that the library had at least two or three visitors a day reviewing the collection before the library had to close. Since the library reopened, he said, the number of visitors continues to the put the letters “in league with our other highly used collections.” Those include the papers of Pulitzer-Prize-winning author Toni Morrison and the personal library of Jacques Derrida, an Algerian-born French Jewish philosopher and critic. The Eliot-Hale collection, he said, “is still holding its own.”
“Oh, I have IBS too, I totally get it.”
A friend uttered those words to me as I sat with a swollen stomach, pinched against the buttons on my jeans and feeling too ill to eat the food I was surrounded by.
As I sat and watched my friends and family laugh, enjoy delicious foods, and talk about the upcoming big game, I felt like I was standing in the middle of a crowd, screaming at the top of my lungs, yet no one could hear me. I was incredibly offended, at first, when people felt they could relate to me and my condition because they experienced gut issues such as food sensitivities or IBS, but then I realized they did not know the difference between IBS and IBD. It was at that moment I felt how passionate I was about what I was going through and I knew I wanted to learn more about how I could educate myself and others.
It was August of 2018 when I started experiencing awful gut issues. I was in severe pain, vomiting, and spent hours in the bathroom. After a year of tests, we concluded it was my gallbladder. What I did not know was if you have issues with your gallbladder, there is usually an underlying cause. Finally, in July of 2019, after losing 35 lbs. and living in extreme pain for months, my doctors decided to take my gallbladder out. I was looking forward to getting my life back. Well, little did I know, my journey was only just beginning.
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It was about a week after my surgery when I noticed by stomach looked distended and I started throwing up again. This would be my life, on and off, for the next year. I spent the entirety of 2019 researching how to heal my gut and learned what caused my health to get to this point. I made extreme lifestyle changes. I was juicing celery on an empty stomach, cutting out gluten and dairy, exercising… but something was still off.
I was feeling better everywhere but something was absolutely wrong with my gut.
I wanted answers. I was seeing a gastro and they were trying different medications but did not think I had Crohn’s Disease since I didn’t have typical symptoms of a Crohn’s patient. By September 2020, after vomiting for 9 hours straight, my husband rushed me to the hospital. We were told I needed immediate surgery or my intestines would burst and could kill me. They told me I had a severe small bowel obstruction, caused by severe inflammation in my small intestine.
After spending 13 days in the hospital and finally leaving with an official diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease, I knew my mission was clearer than ever. I wanted to become an advocate for gut issues, health, and IBD. I was shocked to learn so many people I was surrounded by, truly did not understand what the disease was or had never heard of it. Yet millions of people around the world are being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis every day. Crohn’s and Colitis Disease fall under the category of IBD because it is an Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Your intestines or colon actually show signs of damage from severe inflammation. This causes them to become swollen and if not taken care of, can be life threatening or require surgery. IBS is categorized as “irritable bowel syndrome,” which truly is just food insensitivities which can be completely fixed by cutting certain foods out of your diet. That is why I struggled so much after switching my lifestyle, sadly, it was too late and the damage was already too severe, I required surgery.
What I am thankful for is what my Crohn’s Disease diagnosis has taught me. It forced me to educate myself on what I truly thought a healthy diet was and that you know your body best. It forced me to look at my life and what my priorities were. Was I putting my physical and mental health first? Absolutely not. Was I taking care of my body, exercising, moving, and fueling it with the right foods? No. I had a lot of learning to do but I was willing to put in the work. See, when you are a mom, wife, teacher, and at 34 years old, almost die and lose your life, you become willing to make changes because you hope you never have to live through those moments again. I still struggle with body image from my scars, severe PTSD from years of medical trauma and misdiagnosis, and food anxiety as I became absolutely terrified to eat.
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I knew how isolated I felt living with this disease and that is what inspired me to create IBD Heroes on Instagram. A social media platform, where I started sharing the stories of Crohns and Colitis patients from all over the world, to help celebrate and connect the IBD community to give patients a voice and resources for when it’s difficult to find answers and you feel you aren’t being taken seriously. You see, Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis does not look the same for everyone but I know one thing we all have in common; we feel isolated. There is a reason why chronic illnesses are referred to as an “invisible illness” because often people do not “look” sick. It is a perfect “Instagram vs. reality” moment. For two years, you saw my smiling face on Instagram but what you didn’t see, were my insides slowly trying to kill me. I became determined to make this “invisible illness” visible and help educate my friends, family, and others on what Crohn’s and Ulcerative Colitis is and how to help prevent your body from chronic illness, sickness, and stress in general.
Many people ask me some of the major lifestyle changes I have made since my diagnosis and this is how I now live my life:
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My physical and mental health come first, always. If I am not feeling at my best and do not practice self-care, I cannot take care of the things around me.
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My partner/spouse. I make my husband a priority. We have date nights and make time for one another.
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My child. I make time to spend with my daughter, we do things together, I tell her how much I love her and support her.
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Exercise/Health, I have learned you have to get your body moving. Find something you enjoy and do it. Spend time outside in the sunlight, go for a walk, take a dance class, for me my passion became strength training. I felt so weak in the hospital after losing weight, I wanted to gain muscle and be strong. Lastly,
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Work. I am a public educator and I am excellent at what I do, but that is last on my list, always. I have learned to manage my time so well at work during my week, I never need to bring anything home with me, work stays at work.
No matter who you are or what you are going through, we can all relate to dealing with something “invisible.” Whether it is struggling with your mental health, postpartum depression, a chronic illness, stress at work, trouble in a relationship, or loss of a loved one, we are always fighting something others simply cannot see. What I have learned, is the best thing you can always do, is take care of yourself and your needs. Some may call it selfish, but if putting my mental and physical health is selfish to others, I am ok with that. I have cut out toxic things from my life, I set boundaries, I have learned to say no, and I am healthy and thriving while still being a present, mother, wife, friend, daughter, and educator.
As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Take care of yourself my friends, because you are worth it.
Will sleeping with a guy too soon make him instantly lose interest and head for the hills? It is an age-old debate with no concrete answer. I have been writing about relationships for ten years now and I still get this question constantly on my TikTok. I can’t even tell you how many e-mails or direct messages I receive from women panicked over the fact that they slept with a guy too soon and now he’s acting a little weird and what if he’s gone forever?
The good news is that unless he’s some sort of pickup artist who sleeps with women for sport, a man will not lose interest solely because you slept with him too soon. However, this topic isn’t quite so simple, so let me break it down.
A close friend of mine recently met an amazing guy on an online dating site. He was smart, successful, and a dead-ringer for Bradley Cooper. Things got off to a promising start.
They exchanged a few flirty messages and he asked her to go out that Saturday night. They had an amazing time on the date, they continued to message, and he asked her out for the following Saturday early in the week. Another nice date with pleasant conversation and enjoying each other’s company (and some passionate making out) and he again reserved her for the following Saturday night.
Before the date, she told me she was a little unsure about this guy. She thought he was great on paper and all, but she didn’t really feel like they had much to talk about; she mostly just thought he was really hot. She decided she was going to sleep with him after their third date, and I didn’t really offer much in the way of advice since it didn’t seem like she was interested in having a real relationship with him anyway.
So they had a passionate night together and continued to text one another in the days that followed, but something had shifted….
My friend told me that she was waiting for him to ask her out for that Saturday night because she had purchased tickets to a booze cruise and thought that would make a fun date. He usually asked her out for Saturday night no later than Wednesday, and when he still hadn’t asked her out by Thursday, she started to panic.
They were still in contact; he would still text her messages full of sexual innuendoes. But sometimes he didn’t text, or would just drop off when she asked him about something non-sex related.
Suddenly, their relationship went from elegant Saturday night dates to random 2 AM hookups. He never texted her earlier than 11 p.m., and while he was nice and sweet and all that when they hung out, all he wanted was to fool around (and sometimes order in food and fool around).
I stood silently as the whole thing started to unravel. I make it a policy not to give my friends relationship advice unless they explicitly ask for it (and a lot of the time they won’t because they know I’ll hit them with the truth and they would rather stay in denial-land!). Also, my friends sometimes get mad at me for not giving them the answers they want, so in order to keep the peace, I will stay mum until things get dire.
And when they did, my friend finally called me up and said, “I don’t get this. I really, really like him. What did I do wrong?”
I first pointed out the fact that she didn’t start really, really liking him until he stopped acting that way toward her. But even still, I told her flat out that she slept with him too soon. It was a pretty open-and-shut case, probably one of the easiest relationship questions brought to me.
“What do you mean?” she countered. “I waited until the third date! Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”
I tried to stifle my laughter at the absurdity of her statement. “Okay, well, tell me this. What did you actually know about this guy? What do you know about him that you couldn’t find out from his online dating profile or Facebook page?”
“Ummm…. Well, he would show me pictures of his nieces and nephews and talk about them!”
“Doesn’t count. Anyone on Facebook could see the pictures, and I’m sure he talks about them to his friends and co-workers. Do you know what his ultimate goals are? His fears? What makes him happy? What his weak points are?”
“Well, no….”
And therein lies the problem. She slept with him before they developed any sort of a real connection. They were still in the casual getting-to-know-one-another phase. He hadn’t shown any level of investment (I know going on three Saturday night dates in a row with a guy can feel like he’s investing, but it’s not so). They didn’t really know each other; all they knew were the superficial details that anyone else can be privy to.
When it comes to sleeping with a guy, the quantity of dates is an arbitrary measure of the state of your relationship. What matters is the quality of the time you spend together. A girl who sleeps with a guy on the first date after an evening of intense, meaningful conversation that fosters a bond is much more likely to have a lasting relationship than a girl who sleeps with a guy she hasn’t really formed a connection with on the fifth date.
The guy my friend was dating never really invested in her. Yeah, he was attracted and somewhat interested, but after sex was in the mix, he lost interest in pursuing things further. Why should he take her out on nice dates and wine her and dine her when he can call her at 1 a.m. when he’s feeling horny and get his needs met? When sex comes before a real emotional connection has been established, it’s hard to rewind the clock.
The right time to sleep with a guy is when he has shown a level of investment in you. Period. (This is assuming you want a relationship with him. If you want a friend with benefits or steady booty call, then sleep with him whenever you want – just be safe!)
This doesn’t necessarily mean he calls you his girlfriend or has said he loves you. It means you both are able to drop your masks and be real when you’re together. It means he shares things with you he doesn’t share with other people in his life (and vice versa). It means he cares about you and respects you as a person.
As women, we’ve been told all our lives that we need to make a guy wait for sex, like it’s some bargaining chip to dangle in front of him in order to get what we want out of him. I get where the idea comes from, and there is a grain of truth in there, but it doesn’t get to the heart of the matter and leaves too much room for interpretation. Most women take it to mean that the longer she holds out on having sex with him, the more he’ll chase her and the more invested he’ll become. Maybe this can work, but usually it doesn’t and the guy will see right through what you’re trying to pull.
The issue isn’t how long you wait – a guy who really likes you won’t hold it against you if you sleep with him early on. The issue is that men don’t value what they perceive is readily and easily available to all other men.
When you sleep with a guy before you really know him, it’s easy for him to assume that any other guy could have done it. When you sleep with him after getting to know who he truly is, he believes that you slept with him because of how amazing he is and that you wouldn’t have given in so easily if it were any other guy. See the distinction?
As for my friend, I tried helping her get back on track but their relationship had sunk too deep into the booty call zone and couldn’t be resuscitated. She tried to not see him unless it was on a date (and he found ways to dodge that and was only free when he could come over for sex and was always too busy when she suggested an activity), she didn’t reply to his sexts, and she tried to learn more about him, but nothing worked and eventually he just faded away into the abyss.
You may wonder why you have so many conflicting emotions, thoughts and behaviors when it comes to trauma, especially if you’ve been traumatized by a manipulative narcissist. The Internal Family Systems model, created by therapist Dr. Richard Schwartz, posits that we all have “inner parts” that fall into three main categories: exiles, managers, and firefighters. These inner parts are discrete facets of our personalities or “subpersonalities” that serve vital survival and protective functions. These create an “internal family” inside of our mind.
When these inner parts are healthy, unburdened, and are able to contribute to our well-being and survival without using maladaptive strategies, this internal system can be led successfully by the core “Self,” the compassionate, calm, centered, connected and grounded self we all have within us. Each inner part wants something positive for the core “Self” but can go to extreme lengths to do so or use maladaptive strategies to achieve their goals, especially if they have been shaped by trauma. These inner parts can reveal themselves through behaviors, thoughts, emotions, images, sensations and more, and provide feedback to the “Self” that can guide the decisions the “Self” makes.When they are burdened with traumas and triggers, these inner parts can act out in extreme ways that harm us, even though their intentions are usually to defend, protect, and guide us back to safety.
This evidence-based model of psychotherapy is groundbreaking, especially when it comes to conceptualizing the impact of childhood trauma on our behavior. However, less has been spoken about how this model can also inform our relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic individuals. When we’ve been traumatized by narcissistic individuals, these inner parts can come into conflict and “fight” with each other for control, causing our inextricable trauma bond with the narcissist (a bond that develops as a survival mechanism) to become even stronger in some cases.
Here is how our inner parts can influence our attachment to narcissists:
Exiles carry the pain of childhood traumas and search for a rescuer. These younger inner parts often hold the burdens of childhood traumas, including the original terror, pain, shame, wounds, memories and fear from those traumas. Exile inner parts are especially vulnerable and fragile; they may seek validation, reassurance, comfort, and feel a need to tell their story and have it heard.
Exile inner parts can hold an intense desire to avoid abandonment and attach to the narcissist out of fear of being abandoned again and having to confront their childhood trauma alone. These parts can become especially trauma bonded to the abuser and come to view the abuser as a “rescuer” figure even though the abuser is also the source of their present pain and trauma. Since the narcissistic or psychopathic abuser creates a cycle of hurt-and-rescue and intermittent reinforcement with their victims, your “exile” inner parts may be severely triggered into making frantic attempts to avoid abandonment and seek validation from the abuser, even though you know this person has harmed you chronically. This can cause you to return to the relationship repeatedly even when it becomes unhealthy and destructive.
Managers are the protector inner parts that proactively try to control situations and relationships to prevent the pain of exiles from being experienced in the first place by mitigating the risks of triggers. They attempt to “shield” the younger parts and their wounds from being exposed to the dangers of the world. These are the CEOs of our mental landscape, avoiding situations that could trigger the pain of your “younger” exile inner parts to come into consciousness and disrupting your daily life. They may do this through perfectionism, caretaking, overachieving, constantly striving toward goals (for example, through excessively exercising or overworking), people-pleasing, codependency or by engaging in hypercritical and aggressive behaviors toward others in order to control them.
In a relationship with a narcissist, your manager inner parts may try to suppress any core wounds from surfacing by internalizing the abuse and engaging in self-blame or trying to control the narcissist. They may take on a caretaker role with the narcissist to try to “nurse” or educate the narcissist back into being an empathic person, an effort that often proves fruitless. You might also micromanage and hypercriticize the narcissist in order to try to “prevent” the abuse from occurring.
Manager inner parts may also cause you to excessively try to fix or improve yourself in an attempt to avoid the narcissist’s abuse, overexplain or defend yourself, or engage in people-pleasing or fawning to maintain the relationship so the pain of losing the narcissist doesn’t disrupt other aspects of your life. Due to your manager inner parts, you may also be pushed to distract yourself from what is happening in the relationship with overachieving or striving toward goals, unwilling to confront the reality of the abuse that is occurring.
Unfortunately, this means all your efforts are put into surviving the relationship rather than detaching from it, which makes it more difficult to break a trauma bond and to exit dangerous situations. Some survivors of narcissists may also have manager inner parts that opt out of relationships altogether to avoid the risk of any pain at all.
Firefighters are also protector inner parts that react immediately to the pain of exile inner parts by engaging in addictions and distractions. When exiles become triggered with overwhelming emotions, this group of inner parts tries to immediately extinguish the “fires,” and attempts to distract from and numb these emotions. Firefighter inner parts can use various addictions or self-harm as an escape and to dissociate from your traumas such as through the use of drugs, alcohol, sex, binge eating, or cutting.
When you are with a narcissistic or psychopathic individual, your firefighter inner parts may compel you to dissociate from the abuse and engage in extreme behaviors and addictions to numb out the pain of the toxic abuse cycle. They could also cause you to engage excessively with the pleasures the relationship intermittently provides (such as love bombing and sex) while dissociating from the actual abuse. This creates an even more powerful biochemical bond to the abuser. However, by avoiding the pain, these actions could potentially worsen your trauma symptoms and could also result in you denying the truth about the abuse present in the relationship, thus strengthening your traumatic bond to the narcissist.
The good news is, these inner parts can be unburdened in therapy to serve your boundaries and core values more effectively in relationships, even in toxic ones. Working with a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in the internal family systems model can help you better understand the different roles your inner parts play in these relationships, what emotions and wounds they are still carrying and identify what strategies they are using to get their needs met.
When managers are unburdened, they can potentially use their leadership and ability to proactively balance risks and benefits to better understand which relationships are worth keeping and which are necessary to detach from. They can take better care of themselves, rather than remaining caretakers to their abusers. They can “advise” the other inner parts on how to better navigate relationships and boundaries. They can also use their striving and achieving abilities to meet necessary goals without overextending themselves.
When firefighters shift into a healthier function, they can allow for rest, relaxation, healthy coping skills for emotional regulation, positive distractions from adversity and pleasures that do not involve addictions and give themselves healthy rewards when they succeed. When unburdened, both managers and firefighters can allow the younger exile inner parts to experience pain and discomfort without trying to excessively shield them.
As younger exile inner parts come closer to healing their wounds and unburdening their sense of shame or guilt from childhood, and feel secure and soothed by empathic people, they can also shift into a more positive role. Without being overprotected by the managers and firefighters, they are given an opportunity to face their pain with healthier coping methods, without feeling destroyed by it. They can experience the discomfort of losing a toxic person without trying to avoid abandonment and strengthening the trauma bond to the narcissist. They can feel more open to finding validation and comfort in those who show them true empathy and compassion and find a safe haven at long last, both within themselves and others. They can tell their stories without having to feel silenced or punished by a narcissist.
When all these inner parts work together and communicate with each other without battling one another, the Core Self can then emerge as a compassionate, calm, creative, curious, and connected leader that listens to feedback from the unburdened inner parts and guides the internal system back to the safety, nurturance and well-being it always deserved.
Here’s a situation I’ve definitely found myself in and I’m sure you can relate. You meet someone, something clicks, and suddenly a force takes you over.
After this encounter you can’t–for the life of you–get this guy out of your head. You try to think about other things, but nothing works. You ruminate over every detail of your interaction with him–what he said, what you said, what his body language said. You think about the things you wish you had said.
You check your phone constantly to see if he called or texted. If he does, your stomach drops, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and scream for joy. And then of course you need to figure out the exact right thing to say back to him, the perfect quip to show him that you’re perfect for each other.
The high continues as you venture into a relationship and becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him and you keep overthinking it. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadow. This emotional rollercoaster is as exhausting as it is thrilling. You’re hooked. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving. It’s a fear you can’t quite shake no matter how promising the situation looks, a fear that drives everything you say and do.
Now another scenario.
You meet a guy, you think he’s nice and all, you have good conversation, he gets your number, and while you’re pleased, you don’t go into a tizzy over it. You may check his Facebook profile, but only for a few minutes. You are happy to hear from him if he calls or texts, but you don’t notice the hours that pass in between your interactions. You go out a few times, not expecting much, but soon enough your interest and attraction begins to grow. Things feel calm, there’s no drama, no heart palpitations….and it feels really nice.
Which relationship do you think has a stronger chance of survival?
Instinctively, you would say the second one. In real life, you would fall for the first. That’s because the first scenario illustrates everything we’ve ever been told about love.
In movies and romance novels, love is this grand, all-consuming force that takes you over in the most dramatic of ways. There are huge obstacles to overcome, but it’s okay because love conquers all! I mean, would any of us have cared for “The Notebook” if Ali and Noah were of the same social status, went on a few lukewarm dates, then got to know each other and developed a deepening connection over time? Don’t think so.
Unhealthy Relationships Start With A PullI hate to do this to you, but I’m gonna take the romance right out of those dramatic relationships where you get engulfed in your feelings for the other person. In most cases, the pull we feel to another person is guided by our unconscious desire to rectify some issue from our past.
For instance, if your parents always made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may seek out guys who are full of themselves and treat you like you’re not worthy of their love in an attempt to rectify those feelings from your past.
If your father was very critical, you may find yourself drawn to a man who is very critical and try to win over his love and approval to heal from the hurt of your fathers rejection. These decisions aren’t conscious, they happen very deep beneath the surface in areas we can’t access. When we meet someone, we immediately assess everything about them (again, this happens unconsciously).
On a conscious level, you may assess the things he said, on an unconscious level, you’re looking at his body language, his tone, the way he phrases things, how much eye contact he makes, his demeanor. If your unconscious finds something familiar in that person, something that reminds you of an unresolved hurt from the past, it will light up and push you towards that person. (A great book to learn more on this concept is “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix. I would even call it a must-read.)
You may also unconsciously seek out partners who have some quality that is under-developed in you. For example, if you’re a Type-A workaholic and always wished you could ease up, you may be drawn to a laid back partner who isn’t detail-oriented. These example might not describe your situation, but they illustrate a deeper point.
Unhealthy relationships almost always begin with the pull. The problem is, we don’t recognize them as unhealthy because we’re brought up to believe in things like love at first sight.
Moving away from the psychological factors at work here, infatuation in general can be a dangerous thing. It causes you to put him on a pedestal and overlook his flaws. Since he’s so “perfect” you become afraid to be yourself–I mean, how could your true self ever compete with perfection?
You don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare him off, so you aren’t genuine in your interactions. You rely on his approval so desperately that you also become a bit needy. You may not act needy, but it’s something that lurks beneath the surface and he will pick up on it… they always do.
Healthy Relationships Build SlowlyHealthy relationships, on the other hand, begin with mutual interest and attraction that grows over time. If you can internalize this, it will change the way you date forever.
The best way to have a healthy relationship is to go slow. This will create an environment for you to allow your level of interest and attraction to grow steadily over time, rather than flooding you all at once in a big emotional tsunami. It’s difficult to remain objective in relationships, especially for women since we are naturally more emotional.
If you spend all your time with him, you risk overlooking very critical information about who he really is and if this relationship is built to last. Just because people feel strongly for each other doesn’t always mean they can be together.
It is imperative to have a foundation of compatibility, shared goals and interests, and common values. Some things simply can’t be negotiated. Before you emotionally invest, it is very wise to determine if you are fundamentally compatible. And the best way to do this is go slow.
When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with them. You talk for hours and hours on the phone, text all day, and you can’t get enough. The obvious reason this is problematic is because you may end up relying too heavily on the relationship for your happiness, but also, you don’t get a break from the emotional excitement and stimulation of it all. Then, if you realize this guy may not be right for you, you’ll be in too deep to get yourself out of the situation. You’ll instead rely on some cliche like “love conquers all” to justify staying with him.
The SolutionI am not saying to stay away from guys you feel a strong immediate attraction to and only date guys who you’re only “meh” about. I think you should date both kinds of guys- the infatuation guy could turn out to be a loser and the “meh” guy could turn out to be the love of your life (I’ve seen it happen countless times!).
Either way you have to date smart. This will come more naturally with “meh” than it will with the object of your infatuation.
If you just met or just started seeing someone, I strongly advise that you try to go on one to two dates a week and that’s it. Also try to keep your phone conversations somewhat short, maybe an hour and a half max. This will give you the chance to get to know the other person while also giving you the space to decide if he is the right match for you.
So many girls make the mistake of getting caught up in how the guy feels about them rather than focusing on how they feel about him.
You can avoid falling into this trap by doing regular reality checks. Make sure you see him and the situation clearly. The best way to do this is to make sure you can recognize his flaws. The way you know you’re infatuated is if you see no flaws. Everyone has flaws.
When you get in over your head, you may convince yourself that something like him wanting to live in the country and you wanting to only live in a city is not such a big deal. Someone who maintains a more objective perspective will realize she would be miserable living in the country and since this guy wouldn’t live anywhere else, she would get out of the situation.
I’ve seen (and personally experienced) many situations where a couple breaks up after a long period of time because of some issue that was apparent right from the beginning — they’re different religions, want to live in different states, one person doesn’t want kids. In every one of these situations, the couple believed that things would magically just work out. Imagine how much time, effort, and heartbreak they would have saved had they been dating with their head instead of their heart from the beginning.
Again, the only way you’ll be able to see him clearly is if you can give yourself the space to clear through the clutter of emotions and keep a firm level of objectivity in the beginning.
I don’t know what the biggest relationship issue was before the invention of smart phones, but in this digital day and age the culprit behind most issues and confusions is texting.
Women can’t seem to understand why guys take so long to text back and men are either oblivious to all the turmoil their texts (or lack thereof) cause, or they just don’t get what the big deal is!
Trust me, I get it. I’ve been guilty of waiting with baited breath for my phone to make that beloved ding, I’ve played Text Detective, I’ve endured the agonizing pain of a stomach twisted in knots and a mind demanding to know: Why is he taking so long to write back?… Why haven’t I heard from him today, isn’t he thinking about me?… Why are his answers so short and vague, is he not into me anymore?…. Why did he initiate a conversation and then just disappear?
I’ve asked all the questions and have experienced the roller coaster of emotions and overthinking that they produce. But why? Why do we get so wound up and stressed and anxious?
I’ve given this topic a lot of thought and narrowed it down to three main reasons why us ladies work ourselves into such a tizzy over a guy’s texting habits. Here they are…
- We Just Don’t Get ItReality isn’t absolute, it’s created based on our own experiences and how we interpret them. And we measure other people against a yardstick determined by our own personal codes of conduct. For instance, if a girl likes a guy she may want to text frequently. If this guy doesn’t text her often, she assumes it must mean he doesn’t really like her because when she likes someone she would never, ever, leave them hanging.
What a lot of women have a hard time understanding about men is the way they operate when they’re working on something. Men typically get absorbed in whatever task is at hand, and when they’re in that mode, nothing else exists outside of it. Women, on the other hand, are much more fluid and can shift gears more seamlessly without completely losing focus.
Also, many studies have demonstrated that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships. Men primarily gain their sense of worth through their ability to have an impact on the world, from their ability to be “winners.” So in the context of texting and relationships, a woman’s head is always in the relationship, even when she’s at work. I remember times when I would be at work doing what needed to be done and G-chatting all day long with a guy I was seeing. Most women can do this, men typically can’t (at least not the ones with demanding jobs). A guy may start out texting you all day, no matter how crazy his day is, but that will only happen in the early stages of a relationship and simply isn’t sustainable for the longterm.
The reason women get so frustrated is because they expect men to experience relationships the same way they do. She wants to hear from him during the day because that makes her feel cared for and even when she’s at work, she can’t help but think about why he hasn’t texted just to say hi or see how her day is going. She really wants to text him, because she likes him and wants to talk to him, but she doesn’t want to be the initiator so instead she uses restraint and waits/hopes for him to text her, and then hits the panic button when he doesn’t.
Which brings me to my next point…
- You Think It Means He Doesn’t CareMen communicate differently than women do, and they usually talk for the sake of achieving some sort of a goal or making a plan. A woman might get upset if she’s having a cute, banter type of back and forth with a guy and then he just stops responding but this really means nothing! To her, going back and forth and being all cute and flirty was their way of connecting, but to him the conversation wasn’t moving toward anything, and he just didn’t see a need to respond further. While the girl might be getting all upset and wondering if something she said turned him off, the guy is just going about his day and focusing on something else and is completely unaware of the mayhem he has incited within her.
Men, in general, are goal oriented while women are process oriented. Men typically talk for the sake of solving a problem or making a plan, while women enjoy talking just for the sake of talking. For women, talking is a way to bond and connect. For men, talking is just a means to an end. What matters more to men is the quality of the time spent with another person. This is why two guy friends can sit on a couch watching the game and say absolutely nothing to each other and still call it male bonding. If two female friends were sitting on a coach not talking, it would be because they were in a fight!
In sum, when a guy doesn’t respond, or gives quick, short responses, what it really means is….nothing at all!
- FearAt the heart of why girls get into such a tizzy over the whole texting issue is fear. The fear that this guy isn’t really interested, that he will hurt her, that he’s leading her on or is trying to get something out of her. When we have a fear or belief within us, our psyche will try to find proof to back up how we feel, no matter how destructive that thought is. We all navigate through the world with filter systems that take in information we deem relevant and discard everything else. For instance, if you think no one likes you, you will hone in on people not being nice to you and will disregard all the signs that people do like you.
Liking a guy is scary, especially when the relationship is in the early stages and you’re not quite sure where he stands or if he’s on the same page as you. You feel vulnerable, you feel guarded, you’re nervous… and you don’t quite trust that this one will be different than the rest. So you look for proof that he will hurt you, thus confirming that you’ll never be able to get the kind of guy you want. When you don’t hear from him, it’s not because he’s busy, it’s because he isn’t interested in you, or he’s texting some other girl. If he doesn’t respond to your texts for hours, it’s not because he didn’t have his phone nearby, it’s because he doesn’t think you’re important. If his answers are brief, it’s not because he hates texting and would rather just see you in person, it’s because he’s annoyed by you and doesn’t want you to text him anymore.
I think you get the point. The fact is, we create our own stories and if we let those negative stories stick to the point where we actually start believing them as truth, we also create our own reality, a reality that brings our biggest fears to life.
Just think about the guys who were into you that you didn’t really like. I’m sure you didn’t even notice how often they texted, and you didn’t even care when they replied or what they said. There was nothing at stake… and if you heard from him, cool… if not then whatever. Trust me, I know how hard it is to have this mentality with the guys you do actually like, but what I want you to see is how much of an impact the thoughts we allow into our minds can have.
Solving the whole, “why are men such bad texters” conundrum really comes down to working through your own internal fears and crippling beliefs. When you come out on the other side, you won’t be wondering why he isn’t texting, you won’t even notice. And if you do, then you won’t get upset and take it to mean he doesn’t care, you will feel confident that he does like you because…why wouldn’t he? And if he does fade into the texting abyss never to be heard from again, then whatever! You’ll be freed up to find someone else who does see and appreciate you for who you are and that’s just so much better!
Every single girl will at some point find herself asking this question: is there no one out there for me or am I the problem?
Being single is not a curse (in fact, there are some very lovely perks to living the single life), but it isn’t exactly something people aspire to. There are times when we need to be single–and it’s very admirable when you can acknowledge that and ignore the pressure to settle down–and then there are times when you realize that you are ready to meet that special someone and settle down…you just don’t know how to make it happen. Maybe the guys you date are duds. Maybe guys pull the disappearing act on you over and over. Maybe your relationships always implode.
To solve a problem, you need to correctly identify it. Here are the top three (most likely) reasons you are still single:
- You’re Too Needy.There’s no faster way to repel a man than to need him. Wanting a man is not the same as needing one.
Neediness is a state of mind where you feel incomplete, or have an emotional void, and try to fill this empty space with a relationship or male validation. A lot of women mistake the male aversion to neediness as men being commitment-phobes. This isn’t true. A man will happily enter into a relationship with a woman who sees and appreciates him for exactly who he is. Conversely, a man will run far away from a woman who sees him as an opportunity to feel good about herself or fill some void.
A guy wants to feel chosen by a woman he had to earn. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s just filling a slot that could have easily gone to any other male with a pulse.
Solution: Neediness usually stems from a lack of self-esteem or sense of worth. You feel like something is missing within yourself or in your life and erroneously believe a relationship will be the cure. If you were unhappy before the relationship, you’ll be unhappy in it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself about being single, work on your relationship with yourself. Work on feeling your best and looking your best. When you are the best you that you can be, you won’t be able to keep the men away!
- You’re Too Picky.Most women are usually at one extreme or the other: desperate and willing to put up with anything, or too picky and unwilling to “settle” for anything less than her dream man.
In this day and age, we’re saturated with unrealistic love sagas and have developed an idea of what love should be and not of what love is. We’re told love conquers all but in truth, love alone does not make for a good, and healthy relationship (I mean, just about every divorced couple loved each other at some point). We want to be swept off our feet and taken over by this all-consuming feeling of euphoria and harmony. If we’re not feeling the intensity on the first date, we’ll write the guy off and say there was no “spark.”
Another problem is that most women have adopted this idea that it’s “better to be alone than settle.” As a result, they close themselves off to guys with amazing potential just because of some superficial flaw that rules him out as her dream guy. The longer you’re single, the worse this can get because you might start telling yourself, “Well I’ve waited this long to find the one, I am not compromising on anything and should get exactly what I want!”
It’s okay to have standards and to have an idea of the kind of guy you want to be with, but it’s also important to be a little flexible and realize that you might not get every single thing you want and that doesn’t mean you’re settling.
Maybe you don’t like his job, maybe you don’t like the way he dresses, maybe you think his hobbies are lame. This all might be true, but it’s important to realize that these things don’t tell you who he is, and who he is might be a really wonderful, kind, caring person.
Solution: Make a list of non-negotiable qualities a husband should have. This does not include things like how far back his hairline is or how much money he makes. Money won’t make for a happy marriage, neither will a full head of hair, a chiseled jaw, or six pack abs. Obviously you want to be attracted to your husband, but try not to get so caught up on the physical details.
Next, when you go out with a guy and don’t feel that all-consuming spark, don’t write him off. Unless there was something that absolutely repulsed you about him, give him another shot. A lot of women are way too quick to dismiss a guy before really giving him a fair shot. I know more stories than I can even count of women who went on a few meh dates with the man they eventually marries. Who knows where they would have ended up had they not given the guys another shot.
- You Have A Faulty Filter System.A bad filter system sets you up for failure because your relationship has a chance to get off the ground, if you even get that far.
Everyone has a certain ingrained filter system. This system is partially due to genetic wiring, but it is largely shaped by our experiences. This filter system is often based on our interests, desires, and our fears. For instance, if you are afraid of rejection, all you’ll pick up on is being rejected. A hundred people can tell you how great an wonderful you are, but it won’t sink in. All that will stand out to you is the one person who didn’t seem to be interested in you.
Your reality is created in large part by your filter system. If you believe that the guys you want will never want you, you will find a justification for this fear even if it’s far from the case. Once you come to expect the behavior, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Whether consciously or not, you will start to behave in a way that turns men off (this can be very subtle and might not come across in anything you say or do), thus feeding into your original fear. If you are afraid your boyfriend will never commit in the way you want him to, you will ignore all signs of his commitment and will only focus on the signs that he doesn’t want to commit.
We have an innate need to justify our thought patterns, even if these patterns don’t serve us in a positive way.
Want proof? Close your eyes and pick a color. Visualize the color in your mind, picture items that are that color, see yourself dressed in that color, think about the emotions that color evokes. Spend about 30 seconds to a minute doing this and then open your eyes, what’s the first thing you saw? I guarantee it will be that color unless you did this in an all white room. If we dwell on something, even for under a minute, our mind becomes programmed to pick it up.
We’re all wired to look at the world in subjective ways. Reality is not objective; it is shaped by both what happens to us and how we interpret the things that happen to us.
Solution: In order to have more success in love and relationships, you need to adjust your filter system so that you see the good all around you. You need to be able to appreciate and acknowledge the goodness that is in you and in your relationship. If you let your fears run the show, you will set yourself up for sabotage.
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic that distorts your perceptions and make you question your reality. It invalidates your experiences, emotions, and thoughts. When used by abusive and narcissistic individuals, gaslighting can be an especially powerful tool to get a victim to comply to their demands and remain in the abuse cycle.
The best way to resist gaslighting is usually to ground yourself in your own reality and cut ties with a gaslighter so they no longer influence the way you view yourself and the world. You certainly do not have to explain yourself or defend yourself to a manipulator or continue communicating with them, as it can lead to further invalidation and emotional abuse when you do.
However, for those who feel the need to empower themselves and self-validate before immediately disengaging from the narcissist and ending crazymaking conversations, there are also options to shut down gaslighting right before ending conversations with narcissists. These optional “closing lines” can be used in situations where you feel the need to stand up for yourself before you disengage completely and feel safe enough to do so. You do not want to use these phrases to continue the conversation or continue engaging with the narcissist but use them only as closing statements before cutting ties. You can also use them internally to affirm in your own mind the reality of the situation even if you do not use them in conversations with narcissists.
The responses to gaslighting below can help to empower yourself while ending conversations with gaslighters and narcissists if you desire to do so. Do not use these responses to gaslighting with narcissists who are physically abusive in any way or may escalate. It’s important that after using these phrases, you immediately cut contact – whether by blocking this person, hanging up the phone call, or making an excuse to leave the in-person encounter, if there is any. Avoid using these responses in-person unless you have a safe witness and rely on these more for text, phone, and e-mail conversations that can be more easily documented.
Keep in mind that these responses to gaslighting are not intended to change the narcissist or the narcissist’s behavior. They are meant to validate your experience and help you defend yourself. Whether told to the narcissist directly or affirmed only in your own mind, they are only meant to center yourself in the manipulation that is occurring and hold onto your truth before you exit the conversation. Always keep your safety and specific circumstances in mind and consult with a therapist or law enforcement official if you fear you may be stalked or harassed by a narcissist.
Gaslighting Phrase #1: You’re too sensitive.Affirm or respond any of the following:
- I am not oversensitive, you have a pattern of being insensitive and are defensive to being held accountable.
- What I feel is a valid reaction to your outrageous behavior. I don’t have to defend or explain how I feel any further to you.
- I am allowed to feel and express my emotions, and I am not going to argue about how I feel. Since you can’t accept my feelings, this conversation is over.
Gaslighting Phrase #2: You’re crazy.Affirm or respond any of the following:
- I am not crazy, I am discerning and you’re finding it difficult to manipulate me. There’s a difference.
- Identifying a problem or bringing up a concern doesn’t make me unstable. Raging or calling me names when I do bring up a problem is unacceptable.
- Not interested in your gaslighting or emotional invalidation.
- I am not sure how you came to that conclusion, and I don’t have the time or energy to hear how you did.
- Since you’re not willing to listen to those concerns without pathologizing me, we don’t need to discuss this further.
- I don’t have to defend or explain myself to you. Since you can’t speak respectfully, we won’t be speaking at all.
Gaslighting Phrase #3: No one else has ever had this problem with me.Affirm or respond: Even if that were true, that does not make the concerns I bring up invalid. But I also know for a fact or suspect that it is not true and that others have had issues with your behavior. This is a pattern I’ve witnessed in you and I am allowed to bring it up. We both know I am not the problem here. Since you persist in repeating this unacceptable behavior, we’re through.
Gaslighting Phrase #4: You need to let things go and let the past go! You don’t know how to forgive. Affirm or respond: I don’t have to let things go if you’ve harmed me. You’re not the arbiter of how I process or heal from things. If you didn’t want me talking about the past, you shouldn’t have repeated it in the first place.
Gaslighting Phrase #5: You’re reading too much into things.Affirm or respond: Whether you think I am reading into things or not, I trust my intuition and what I am experiencing. I won’t allow you to dismiss my feelings anymore.
Gaslighting Phrase #6: What about when you did/said this (or another false accusation)?Affirm or respond with any of the following:
- If you can’t stick to the subject at hand and stop diverting, this conversation is over.
- Whatever issues you think you have with me, that is irrelevant to the conversation we’re having right now.
- That’s not what happened, and you know it. If you can’t stay on topic, I am done talking.
Gaslighting Phrase #7: I think you’re the narcissist and abuser here!Affirm or respond: You can think what you want, doesn’t make it true. I am not the one with the pattern of abusive and manipulative behavior. There’s been too many red flags on your part, and we’re done here.
Gaslighting Phrase #8: You’re so selfish and self-centered!
Affirm or respond any of the following:
- You’re projecting.That describes you better than it does me.
- Setting boundaries doesn’t make me selfish. On the other hand, you wanting me to only cater to your needs while neglecting mine is selfish behavior, so we’re through.
Gaslighting Phrase #9: You’re so needy/insecure. Affirm or respond any of the following:
- I have basic needs that you’re not meeting, that doesn’t make me needy. Communicating my needs and boundaries is what a secure person actually does. If you’re not willing to meet those basic needs, there’s no need for us to talk anymore.
- If you’re coming on very strong and then suddenly act cold, I am going to have a normal human reaction to it. What’s not normal is you trying to make me feel insecure on purpose.
- That’s an interesting accusation coming from you, since you required my constant attention and contact with me in the beginning. I don’t think we need to go into this, since you obviously like to twist the truth.
- Since you set up the baseline for being attentive and loving in the beginning, only to withdraw, I think you’re the one who’s engaging in problematic behavior.
- I don’t have the time for your mind games.
Gaslighting Phrase #10: You’re impossible to deal with. You should be grateful I put up with you (or a similar criticism or insult said in a sarcastic or patronizing tone). Affirm or respond any of the following:
- I don’t remember asking for your feedback, especially blatantly false feedback.
- You don’t get to speak to me in that tone.
- Your sarcasm is unnecessary and it doesn’t make you superior. It just makes you disrespectful.
- If being “impossible” means I am hard to manipulate and that you don’t like being held accountable for your behavior, then I accept the compliment.
- I have not been the cruel one in this relationship, and I won’t be accepting your cruelty any longer.
- I am not the one who’s been disrespectful. We both know what you’ve put me through, and I am not accepting it any longer.
Gaslighting Phrase #11: I can’t do this anymore, you’re always trying to start an argument or a fight. Affirm or respond with any of the following:
- Having a conversation is not a fight unless you make it one. If I bring up something heinous you said or did, that doesn’t make me the problem. Since you’re not dealing with the actual problem, this discussion is over.
- I think we can agree there is no solution to this as you’re not willing to listen to what I have to say.
- If I can’t have a civil discussion with you about issues that have simple solutions, I think the only solution is to stop talking.
- Yes, let’s not do it anymore, because it’s not my responsibility to teach a grown adult basic decency and respect.
Since Taylor Jenkins Reid’s historical fiction novel Daisy Jones & The Six hit bookshelves in 2019, it’s been a runaway hit. It quickly landed on the New York Times Bestseller list, was picked for the Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club, and readers everywhere were adding it to their to-read piles. If you haven’t already read the novel, you’ve at least heard about it and its larger-than-life look at the rise and fall of a fictional 1970s rock band.
Daisy Jones fans everywhere will be pleased (and maybe skeptical) to learn that the book is being made into a limited miniseries by Amazon Studios for Prime Video. The teaser trailer just dropped–which you can check out at the end of this article–so here’s everything we know about the show so far:
It stars Riley Keough, Sam Claflin, and more.Amazon StudiosDaisy Jones & The Six is all about a gritty-turned-famous ’70s rock band, so casting was paramount. Judging by the trailer, they made the right call. For the lead, they got Riley Keough to play enigmatic lead singer Daisy Jones. You might recognize Keough as Capable from Mad Max: Fury Road or Kim from It Comes at Night.
Amazon StudiosStarring opposite Keough is Sam Claflin as Billy Dunne, leader of The Six. You might recognize him as Will from Me Before You or Finnick Odair from Hunger Games: Catching Fire. As you can see, he’s no stranger to starring in movies based on books.
Other cast members include Sebastian Chacone, Camila Morrone, Suki Waterhouse, and Timothy Olyphant.
Keough is singing the songs herself.Amazon StudiosAt the heart of it, this show is about the music. You can’t have a good fictional band without good fictional music. It’s the songs that stick with us, which is why Josie and the Pussycats (2001) and That Thing You Do (1996) rocked so hard.
While the show could have hired a professional singer that Riley Keough could just lip-synch along to, they decided to have Keough do the vocals herself. She told Vanity Fair:
“I was like, I have to do it. I’m gonna go to this vocal coach, and he’s gonna teach me how to fucking belt, whatever I need to do to get this. It really became about pushing myself to do things I’ve never done before. At the end of the day, it’s not like I’m the best singer in the world. You know? Like, we’re not phenomenal singers. But we were proud of how far we got.”
Riley Keough, Vanity Fair
A lot of the leeway given to Keough and her singing is thanks to her famous family. She’s the granddaughter of the late Elvis Presley. And considering rock bands from the ’70s were more known for their grit and charisma than their amazing vocals, this likely wasn’t a bad choice.
It’s being produced by Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine.Reese Witherspoon has become a big name in the literature world. She puts her sticker of approval on a book cover and it gets a massive boost in sales. She did it for Daisy Jones & The Six when the book came out in 2019, and now she has her production company, Hello Sunshine, involved in the show as well. Hello Sunshine (sometimes as their original name, Pacific Standard) has produced book-to-screen bangers like Gone Girl (2014), Big Little Lies (2017-2019), and Where the Crawdads Sing (2022). It looks like this adaptation is in capable hands.
The story is told using a documentary format.Amazon StudiosSo how do you get the sordid story of a ’70s rock band from a book to a miniseries? It’s being told in the format of a faux documentary with members of the band talking about what happened in the past, with cutaways to those times. It’d be interesting to see a play on an unreliable narrator if the interviewee says one thing, but the flashback says another. We’ll have to wait and see.
The first episodes come out soon.The first three episodes are set to drop March 3, 2023 with three more to follow on March 10 until it reaches a conclusion at episode 10. If you want to catch this limited series, keep your eyes on Prime Video.
Check out the teaser trailer for a sneak peek.Want to get even more pumped for the show? Watch the teaser trailer below.
Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.
It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.
It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from livingto do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.
A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.
True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.
It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.
It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.
The act of self-care has become yet another thing women are expected to be good at. Did you use the right filter for that ‘gram of your impeccably prepared acai bowl? Are the candles you just lit in your Snap story made from organic hand-poured soy or are they that mass-produced factory shit? And how can we stem the inevitable capitalist tide from turning something as simple as self-care into yet another thing to be bought and sold? These are all things I wrestle with as I order Dominos in sweatpants under the guise of ‘being good to myself.’ – quote via Amil Niazi
If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.
It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.
It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.
It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.
They just announced the 2023 Academy Awards nominations. The Oscars strive to showcase the best of the best for the previous film year, although more often than not the lists are filled with movies most of us have barely heard of, let alone seen–plus a few universal favorites. Topping the list of most-nominated films this year is A24’s Everything Everywhere All at Once with 11 nominations including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay. Other heavy-hitters include All Quiet on the Western Front and The Fabelmans.
If you love awards season and especially enjoy getting dressed up and throwing Oscar watch parties, you might want to watch the movies ahead of the awards show on March 12, 2023. It’ll certainly help you fill out your Oscars scorecard if you’re making a game of it. Well, you’re in luck! We’ve listed exactly how to stream the Oscar nominees for the 2023 award season. Check out a list of categories below and where to stream each nominee (in the U.S.):
Best Picture 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front (Netflix) * Avatar: The Way of Water (Not currently streaming) * The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Elvis (HBO Max) * Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * The Fabelmans (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Tár (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Top Gun: Maverick (Paramount+, MGM+) * Triangle of Sadness (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Women Talking* (Not currently streaming)
Best Director 2023 Daniel Kwan and Daniel Schienert – Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * Todd Field – Tár (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Martin McDonagh – The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Ruben Östlund – Triangle of Sadness (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Steven Spielberg – The Fabelmans* (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Best Actor 2023 Austin Butler – Elvis (HBO Max) * Colin Farrell – The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Brendan Fraser – The Whale (Only in theaters) * Paul Mescal – Aftersun (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Bill Nighy – Living* (Not currently streaming)
Best Actress 2023 Cate Blanchett – Tár (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Ana de Armas – Blonde (Netflix) * Andrea Riseborough – To Leslie (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Michelle Williams – The Fabelmans (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Michelle Yeoh – Everything Everywhere All at Once* (Showtime)
Best Supporting Actor 2023 Brendan Gleeson – The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Brian Tyree Henry – Causeway (Apple TV+) * Judd Hirsch – The Fabelmans (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Barry Keoghan – The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Ke Huy Quan – Everything Everywhere All at Once* (Showtime)
Best Supporting Actress 2023 Angela Bassett – Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Coming to Disney+ January 31, 2023) * Hong Chau – The Whale (Not currently streaming) * Kerry Condon – The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Jamie Lee Curtis – Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * Stephanie Hsu – Everything Everywhere All at Once* (Showtime)
Best Original Screenplay 2023 The Banshees of Inisherin – Martin McDonagh (HBO Max) * Everything Everywhere All at Once – Daniel Kwan and Daniel Schienert (Showtime) * The Fabelmans – Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Tár – Todd Field (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Triangle of Sadness* – Ruben Östlund (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Best Adapted Screenplay 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front – based on the novel by Erich Maria Remarque (Netflix) * Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery – based on characters created by Johnson and the film Knives Out (Netflix) * Living – based on the original motion picture screenplay Ikiru by Akira Kurosawa, Shinobu Hashimoto and Hideo Oguni (Not currently streaming) * Top Gun: Maverick – based on the film Top Gun written by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. (Paramount+, MGM+) * Women Talking* – based on the novel by Miriam Toews (Not currently streaming)
Best Animated Feature Film 2023 Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (Netflix) * Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (Prime Video, Apple TV) * The Sea Beast (Netflix) * Turning Red* (Disney+)
Best International Feature Film 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front – Germany (Netflix) * Argentina, 1985 – Argentina (Prime Video) * Close – Belgium (Not currently streaming) * EO – Poland (Not currently streaming) * The Quiet Girl* – Ireland (Not currently streaming)
Best Documentary Feature 2023 All That Breathes (Not currently streaming) * All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (Not currently streaming) * Fire of Love (Disney+) * A House Made of Splinters (Not currently streaming) * Navalny* (HBO Max)
Best Documentary Short Subject 2023 The Elephant Whisperers (Netflix) * Haulout (YouTube) * How Do You Measure a Year? (Not currently streaming) * The Martha Mitchell Effect (Netflix) * Stranger at the Gate* (YouTube)
Best Live Action Short Film 2023 An Irish Goodbye (Not currently streaming) * Ivalu (Not currently streaming) * Le Pupille (Disney+) * Night Ride (YouTube) * The Red Suitcase* (Not currently streaming)
Best Animated Short Film 2023 The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (Apple TV+) * The Flying Sailor (YouTube) * Ice Merchants (YouTube) * My Year of Dicks (YouTube) * An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It* (Not currently streaming)
Best Original Score 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front – Volker Bertelmann (Netflix) * Babylon – Justin Hurwitz (Not currently streaming) * The Banshees of Inisherin – Carter Burwell (HBO Max) * Everything Everywhere All at Once – Son Lux (Showtime) * The Fabelmans* – John Williams (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Best Original Song 2023 “Applause” from Tell It Like a Woman – music and lyrics by Diane Warren (Not currently streaming) * “Hold My Hand” from Top Gun: Maverick – music and lyrics by Lady Gaga and BloodPop (Paramount+, MGM+) * “Lift Me Up” from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever – music by Tems, Rihanna, Ryan Coogler, and Ludwig Göransson; lyrics by Tems and Ryan Coogler (Coming to Disney+ January 31, 2023) * “Naatu Naatu” from RRR – music by M. M. Keeravani and lyrics by Chandrabose (Netflix) * “This Is a Life” from Everything Everywhere All at Once* – music by Ryan Lott, David Byrne, and Mitski; lyrics by Ryan Lott and David Byrne (Showtime)
Best Sound 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front (Netflix) * Avatar: The Way of Water (Not currently streaming) * The Batman (HBO Max) * Elvis (HBO Max) * Top Gun: Maverick* (Paramount+, MGM+)
Best Production Design 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front (Netflix) * Avatar: The Way of Water (Not currently streaming) * Babylon (Not currently streaming) * Elvis (HBO Max) * The Fabelmans* (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Best Cinematography 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front – James Friend (Netflix) * Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths – Darius Khondji (Netflix) * Elvis – Mandy Walker (HBO Max) * Empire of Light – Roger Deakins (Not currently streaming) * Tár* – Florian Hoffmeister (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Best Makeup and Hairstyling 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front (Netflix) * The Batman (HBO Max) * Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Coming to Disney+ January 31, 2023) * Elvis (HBO Max) * The Whale* (Not currently streaming)
Best Costume Design 2023 Babylon (Not currently streaming) * Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Coming to Disney+ January 31, 2023) * Elvis (HBO Max) * Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris* (Peacock)
Best Film Editing 2023 The Banshees of Inisherin (HBO Max) * Elvis (HBO Max) * Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * Tár (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Top Gun: Maverick* (Paramount+, MGM+)
Best Visual Effects 2023 All Quiet on the Western Front (Netflix) * Avatar: The Way of Water (Not currently streaming) * The Batman (HBO Max) * Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Coming to Disney+ January 31, 2023) * Top Gun: Maverick* (Paramount+, MGM+)
For the nominations list, as well as the individual names of nominees in categories like Best Production Design (which were removed here for readability), check out the Academy Awards’ official announcement. And get ready to watch the winners get revealed on March 12, 2023 on ABC.
Teen Wolf fans rejoice. Everyone’s favorite romantic teen drama about a teen werewolf protecting his town from threats is finally getting the spinoff movie it deserves. If you’ve been craving some more of Scott and his “pack,” you can watch Teen Wolf: The Movie on Paramount+ starting January 26,2023.
The show, which ran from 2011 to 2017, got six seasons and 100 episodes of pure MTV-style soap opera drama with a supernatural spin that earned it over a dozen Teen Choice Awards. But before you get too excited about the spinoff movie, I have some bad news for you. Not everyone you know and love from the show is coming back–and there’s one big missing character that’ll have you bummed. First, here’s who’s definitely on the cast list:
Your favorites are back for Teen Wolf: The Movie.Paramount+Of course, they can’t have Teen Wolf: The Movie (what a creative name, by the way) without Tyler Posey, who plays Scott McCall. He’s the titular moon-howling wolf we all know and love. And check out the new look! Posey told The New York Post, “It’s something that I’ve been wanting for years. I was immediately stoked and down for the ride. I’ve never second-guessed wanting to do it.”
Paramount+From the trailer, it looks like the movie follows Scott coming back to Beacon Hills because Allison Argent, werewolf hunter and Scott’s first love, is back with an inexplicable bloodlust that has everyone on edge. Thankfully, Crystal Reed is back to reprise the role.
Paramount+Other must-haves coming back for the movie include Holland Roden as Lydia Martin, Colton Haynes as Jackson Whittemore, and Tyler Hoechlin as Derek Hale. That’s just about everyone, right? Well, there’s a big one still missing…
Your Teen Wolf: The Movie experience will be Stiles-free.MTVA major part of the Teen Wolf experience was the comic relief we got from Dylan O’Brien as Stiles. For many fans, Stiles was their favorite character. Yet if you catch the trailer for the movie, it’s absent of everyone’s favorite plain-old human and occasional demon conduit. That’s because O’Brien isn’t in the spin-off. He told Variety:
“Ultimately, I just decided it was left in a really good place for me and I still want to leave it there. I wish them well and I’m going to watch it the first night it comes out. I hope it fucking kicks ass, but I’m not going to be in it.”
Dylan O’Brien , Variety
Tyler Posey did have a message for those who want to look for Stiles-style Easter eggs in the movie, though, from his interview with The New York Post: “We talk about him in the movie [and] we see his Jeep. He’s not absent in our hearts. He’s still very much present.”
Other characters not returning for Teen Wolf: The Movie include Kira, played by Arden Cho, and Theo, played by Cody Christian.
Excited for Teen Wolf: The Movie? Get hyped with the official trailer below. And don’t forget to stream it on Paramount+ starting January 26, 2023.
Narcissists can be male or female, yet women seeking relationships encounter specific dangers in the dating world due to an increased risk of violence, misogyny, double standards, and the traps of hookup culture. Here’s how you can protect yourself from dating narcissists if you’re a woman who hopes to have a healthy relationship in the future:
1. Decenter men and relationships from your life and connect with the peace and joy of being single. If you’re a heterosexual single woman looking for a relationship, the idea of “decentering” men and relationships from your life and enjoying the peace of singlehood may seem like counterintuitive dating advice. However, it is actually one of the most powerful pieces of advice women can heed if they want to avoid the danger of settling with a toxic person just for the sake of settling down.
Research indicates that contrary to popular myth, single women can be just as happy, if not happier than their coupled counterparts. However, society conditions women into believing that having a relationship is the ultimate goal of their lives from an early age. This brainwashing causes them to believe that having any relationship, no matter how toxic or abusive, is better than having none at all, and trains them to equate their worth with their relationship status.
This social conditioning becomes dangerous because narcissistic abusers will prey on your intense desire for a relationship, can don a false mask and love bombing (excessive flattery, attention, and contact) to lure their victims into an abuse cycle early on. Women pay a heavy price when they buy into this myth of “relationship superiority” and disregard the benefits of singlehood. This is especially dangerous as society elevates even the most toxic of relationships as a sign that at least the woman in question has been “chosen.”
In truth, it is time to reframe this myth to reality: when it comes to toxic relationships with narcissists or even just incompatible partners in general, as a woman you have only been “chosen” to take on more labor in the relationship while enduring countless trials, tribulations, and mistreatment in return. It is important to identify the “costs” of relationships and dating when you’ve been taught only the potential benefits (which you may or may not even experience depending on the particular partner you’re engaging with).
Make a list answering these questions: What are the costs of being in a relationship, especially a toxic one? What costs do you incur to your physical health, mental health, energy, goals, self-esteem, resources and your ability to take care of yourself? What do you lose when you’re in a relationship that’s not right for you? What have you lost in the past? What kind of additional emotional and domestic labor are you expected to do in a relationship with a toxic partner? What kinds of unpaid labor have you performed for people who have only returned your kindness with cruelty?
Then make another list: What are the benefits of being single? What kind of activities can you do when you’re freed from any obligations to another person? How much time can you now spend focusing on yourself and manifesting your desires? How does being single free up your mental resources and energy? What kind of goals can you pursue without interference? What kind of communities can you engage with? What kind of worries are you no longer plagued by? How secure and confident will you feel?
Once you begin decentering men and relationships from your life and positioning yourself as the focus of your existence, you’ll begin to date the way many men are already accustomed to dating: by seeing a relationship as a potential bonus to your life rather than the main goal.
Relationships will then become not a necessity but an option, should you desire it and if a person who is safe, compatible and has proven their character long-term comes along. Consider that many men only settle down when they think they’ve found the “best possible choice” for them. It is time you do the same, and do not limit yourself when looking at your options strategically and ruthlessly. You deserve a partner you are both emotionally and physically attracted to and fulfilled by, and you shouldn’t settle for anything else.
As you decenter coupledom from your life, you will also be able to focus on creating a fulfilling, joyful life with plenty of ambitions, hobbies, interests, friendships, and exciting career opportunities. You will build a life that only a truly worthy partner would be able to enter in order to add value to your life. This will make it that much more difficult for narcissists to enter your life or stay, because you will recognize how much they are detracting from the peaceful baseline you’ve set for your life.
2. Match their energy and set limits to contact. Do not treat any dating prospects like a long-term partner until they have proven their genuine interest and character to you long-term. When in doubt, “cut it out” – your time, effort, and energy, that is. If you notice any red flags, big or small, pull back your attention immediately instead of chasing this person – whether they be a narcissist or an emotionally unavailable partner. Keep in mind all the costs of a toxic relationship that you’ve listed whenever you’re tempted to chase someone who is wrong for you. The trick is withdrawing early on before you get attached to toxic individuals. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the harder it can get to detach.
There is an exception: if a narcissistic partner comes on strongly with love bombing in the beginning, don’t match their energy but rather sit back and observe. Identify whether this is a short-term manipulative strategy or a signal of genuine excitement about you.
Research indicates that narcissistic individuals tend to demonstrate love bombing tendencies, and that these love bombing tendencies are associated with increased text and media usage. However, love bombing often ends abruptly as soon as victims of narcissists are sufficiently invested in the relationship. Regardless of what he promises to you in the future or how much attention he gives you in the beginning, do not give “wife” or “girlfriend” treatment to a man you just began dating. That means do not pour a majority of your time, energy, resources into a man who has not yet proven they are genuinely interested in you long-term and has not yet shown you sufficient proof of his good character or integrity. Do not forego your other options and do not allow him to consume your mind, thoughts, or future plans. Do not waste your time engaging in attempts to change his behavior; observe his natural behavior and act accordingly based on your boundaries, standards and needs.
Resist their attempts to make excessive contact, do not spend your whole day conversing with them and do not be available whenever they need you. Set a time limit per day of how much time you are willing to spend on any dating partner as you’re just beginning to know them, especially through texting. That way, you never get attached to constant contact in the first place.
Stick to getting to know your dating partners and their behavior through in-person dates instead, where you can observe their behavior up close and take note of their nonverbal gestures, tone, and facial microexpressions – subtle cues you can identify if you’re trying to understand if there’s a discrepancy between their words and actions.
Maintain your regular routines and do not sacrifice your goals, hobbies, interests, or time spent with friends and loved ones for them; make sure the dates fit your schedule. Do not begin the dating and courting process accustomed to making sacrifices – in a patriarchal society, you are already taking on a lot of the risk dating at all. This initial time is for you to explore, have fun, and to observe any red flags that might arise.
3. Engage in cost-benefit analyses and start to see your dating experiences in a more “transactional” and practical way in terms of effort, boundaries and standards. Don’t defend your standards and do not lower or negotiate them with potential partners.
As you enjoy the peace and joy of singlehood and identify the costs of relationships, you’ll also become more selective in who you date at all. This will give you more leverage in avoiding and cutting ties with narcissists who demonstrate red flags, even if it’s only later in the relationship, because you’ve already experienced what it is like to feel fulfilled, secure on your own and not to have constant chaos in your life.
This mindset will help you maintain a detached perspective and perform the cost-benefit analysis of being in a relationship with anyone at every stage of the dating process and avoid the pitfalls of hookup culture if you’re seeking a relationship. Remind yourself again the costs of being in a relationship and compare it to the potential benefits this person brings to your life – and if those benefits are no longer forthcoming, decide that your investment in the relationship is no longer forthcoming either. This detachment early on is also necessary to prevent trauma bonding with toxic individuals.
According to research, hookup culture has allowed some men to reap sexual benefits with minimal effort and while giving less satisfaction to women in general. Women seeking relationships must thus be on the lookout for manipulators who may pretend they want relationships when, in reality, they’re just looking for sex.
This means you have to decide for yourself what constitutes “effort” early on and what you will and won’t accept in the beginning of and throughout the dating process. By identifying those standards and boundaries, you can use it to weed out anyone who’s not willing to give you that bare minimum effort before dating them – and detach while dating them if they’re not giving you what you need.
Discerning effort early on in the dating process:
For example, perhaps “effort” to you, at least in the short-term, looks like being taken out and treated to romantic dates early on in dating, consistent phone calls and texts, and a healthy amount of attention and affection (rather than love bombing).
Due to the inequality and double standards of hookup culture and the fact that there are male partners out there willing to exploit women for sex, it’s important not to feel guilty about setting such standards. See this standard of effort as a form of self-protection against users and manipulators, as many manipulators in the dating world will use low-effort dates to try to date and bed as many women as possible. These standards will help you select dating partners who are willing to invest their time and resources into you – a potential indicator of interest beyond just a hookup. Even if such a show of romance turns out to be just a manipulation tactic, at least you did not waste your own resources or too much of your time and energy in a person looking to waste your time.
This will not weed out all narcissistic people, as narcissists are skilled at romancing their targets – however, it will allow you to set a basic standard for how you want to be treated in dating before you choose to date them.
Setting standards for dating in the long-term:
You must also establish what you won’t tolerate long-term in terms of boundaries and standards. In the long-term, ongoing effort may look like a certain level of commitment, mutual trust, and respect. This means writing down the behaviors and traits you find unacceptable (e.g. I will not allow someone who talks to me in a condescending manner to have access to my life; I will not allow anyone I am seeing to treat me coldly) and acting accordingly to cut ties if a partner only shows these red flags – whether it’s two, three, or six months down the line.
It also means writing down what you do want in a partner (e.g. I want someone who is emotionally validating; my partner should feel happy for my success; me and my partner agree on goals regarding marriage and children).
It’s important to remember that you are also allowed to have personal preferences – if for example, you don’t want to date anyone who has close friendships with their exes, or you would prefer a partner who doesn’t drink or smoke, or prefer a partner who doesn’t engage in shady practices on social media (as narcissists are prone to doing), that is your right. Forego the fear of seeming “insecure” by social conditioning which tells you that you’re not allowed to have standards for yourself as a woman. You will be the one dating and possibly entering a relationship with this person, so you are more than welcome to look for someone who meets your specific needs, just as men do while dating.
Keep in mind that while it would be wonderful if the world was equal, it is unfortunately not, and the dating world is no exception. The truth is that women in general face more misogyny, more risk of violence, more mistreatment and less benefits from dating, so you deserve to be impressed before you invest in any dating partner, in case they’re out to exploit or harm you. Instead of committing to a toxic person, make a commitment to yourself that the way they treat you will determine your investment in them.
4. Process your traumas and insecurities as much as possible.
Anyone can be traumatized by a narcissist, but women with childhood trauma or trauma from previous relationships may find themselves having an extra layer of difficulty in cutting ties with narcissistic individuals. That is because the “sweet and mean” cycle of abuse can feel all too familiar and addictive to the brain, especially if you’ve experienced it before at a vulnerable stage of development.
Working on your insecurities and processing your traumas, preferably with a trauma-informed mental health professional, can help you to detach from narcissistic people with more fervor in the future. You’ll be able to identify what wounds and triggers they may be deliberately targeting to exploit you. Once you’ve worked substantially on your healing, you will have a much better chance of exiting the relationship rather than staying within it just because you’ve been conditioned to seek a narcissist’s comfort after they trigger you. You will rely instead on your healthy coping skills and ability to process your trauma, instead of avoiding the trauma they put you through or rationalizing it as a survival mechanism.
Women especially can also find themselves manipulated by the specific tactics narcissists use, such as jealousy induction. This is because there is already a great deal of social conditioning to “compare and compete” and internalized misogyny at play. That is why it is so important to develop a strong self-concept of knowing your worth and irreplaceability, so you do not fall into the trap of vying for a narcissist’s attention and always choose yourself.
Get in touch with what you love and appreciate about yourself and your life – the unique positive traits and qualities that you have that cannot be replicated in another person. This will help you to remember your worth and value, especially when a toxic person is doing something that goes against your core values and standards that you have for your dating partners.
5. Take charge of your finances, career, and living situation. Some women who find themselves having an intense longing and desire for romantic partnership may be subconsciously avoiding the work that is needed in other areas of their lives and unknowingly looking for someone to save them. This can create a void that narcissistic partners can pretend to cater to in the beginning in order to get you to see them as your “savior.” Unfortunately, this can escalate into narcissists isolating you and demanding control over you in return.
If you find that other areas of your life could benefit from your attention such as your finances, career goals, living situation, physical health and friendships, now is the perfect time to work on these areas so you don’t fall into this trap of becoming dependent on anyone for validation.
Start to “date yourself” by getting to know yourself and your aspirations for your best life. What do you like to spend your time doing on your own? What are the types of self-care activities that replenish you and how can you engage in more of these? What would your dream life look like regardless of whether or not you’re in a relationship? What is the kind of career you’d like to have, or if you already have an established career, what goals are you working on to improve that aspect of your life? What would your dream living situation look like and what steps would you have to take now to begin working toward that dream? Are your current friendships, communities and support networks nourishing, or do they need a reevaluation? Are there any fitness goals or goals for your physical health you want to meet?
Learn what aspects of your life need remodeling and take time to “enjoy” the process of pursuing a rewarding life with or without a partner. This will enable you to have plenty of “cushioning” to fall back on regardless of what happens in the dating world and remain centered in yourself rather than your dating partners. It will allow you to stand by your standards with more confidence and knowingness that that you can provide for yourself. It will mitigate any desperate need to be in a relationship at the expense of the abundant, peaceful, fulfilling life you’ve created for yourself.
Dating a narcissist is tough, but what’s even more difficult is having to break a traumatic attachment to them once you’re already invested in a relationship with them. The sooner you exit a toxic situation, the better chance you have of maintaining your freedom and finding the healthy love you do deserve – both within yourself and with others.
GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) just released their nominations for the GLAAD Media Awards 2023. The awards strive to honor media that has great representation for those in the LGBT+ community, as well as being high quality content overall. Some real bangers have won in the past, including Love Simon in 2019 and Schitt’s Creek in 2020 and 2021. They honor multiple categories in film and television, including a brand new “Streaming and TV” category beginning this year.
While the comprehensive list includes a wide variety of media–even podcasts and blogs–today we’re talking about all the movies and shows that you can stream right now. Read below for a great list of LGBT-friendly movies and shows and where you can stream them right now. The GLAAD Media Awards 2023 will announce their winners on March 30, 2023.
Outstanding Film – Wide ReleaseEverything Everywhere All At Once / A24 A Man Called Otto (In theaters now, not yet streaming.) * Bodies Bodies Bodies (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Bros (Peacock) * Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime) * Lightyear (Disney+) * Nope (Peacock) * Scream (Paramount+) * Spoiler Alert (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Strange World (Disney+) * Tár* (Prime Video, Apple TV)
Outstanding Film – Streaming or TVDo Revenge / Netflix Anything’s Possible (Prime Video) * B-Boy Blues (BET+) * A Christmas to Treasure (Lifetime) * Crush (Hulu) * Do Revenge (Netflix) * The Fallout (HBO Max) * Fire Island (Hulu) * The Holiday Sitter (Hallmark) * Three Months (Paramount+) * Wildhood* (Hulu)
Outstanding Film – Limited ReleaseMy Policeman / Amazon Studios Anaïs in Love (Hulu) * Benediction (Hulu) * Death and Bowling (Not currently streaming.) * Firebird (Prime Video) * Girl Picture (Prime Video, Apple TV) * The Inspection (Prime Video, Apple TV) * My Policeman (Prime Video) * Neptune Frost (The Criterion Channel) * The Swimmer (Prime Video, Apple TV) * Wendell & Wild* (Netflix)
Outstanding Comedy SeriesAbbott Elementary / ABC Abbott Elementary (Hulu) * Derry Girls** (Netflix) * Hacks (HBO Max) * Harley Quinn (HBO Max) * Love, Victor (Hulu, Disney+) * Never Have I Ever (Netflix) * Only Murders in the Building (Hulu) * The Sex Lives of College Girls (HBO Max) * Sort Of (HBO Max) * What We Do in the Shadows*** (Hulu)
Outstanding Drama SeriesGossip Girl / Warner Brothers Television 9-1-1: Lone Star (Hulu) * Chucky (Peacock, AMC+, Shudder) * Good Trouble (Hulu) * Gossip Girl (HBO Max) * Grey’s Anatomy (Netflix, Hulu) * The L Word: Generation Q (Showtime) * P-Valley (Starz, Prime Video) * September Mornings (Prime Video) * Star Trek: Discovery (Paramount+) * The Umbrella Academy* (Netflix)
Outstanding New TV SeriesHeartbreak High / Netflix A League of Their Own (Prime Video) * Heartbreak High (Netflix) * High School (Amazon Freevee) * Interview with the Vampire (Prime Video, AMC+) * Our Flag Means Death (HBO Max) * Queer as Folk (Peacock) * The Rookie: Feds (Hulu) * The Sandman (Netflix) * Somebody Somewhere (HBO Max) * Willow* (Disney+)
Outstanding Limited or Anthology SeriesThe White Lotus / HBO American Horror Story: NYC (Hulu) * The Ignorant Angels (Hulu) * The Best Man: The Final Chapters (Peacock) * Welcome to Chippendales (Hulu) * The White Lotus* (HBO Max)
For an extensive list of the GLAAD Media Awards 2023 nominees, including ones not listed in this streaming guide, check out the full list here.
If you’re trauma bonded with a manipulative narcissist or a psychopath, you feel inextricably attached to them as a survival mechanism and unable to leave the relationship. You may even develop a biochemical and psychological addiction to the abuse cycle.
Trauma bonds can be powerful – but as difficult and painful as they may be, they are capable of being broken. Some of the ways they can be broken can appear counterintuitive and may surprise you. Here are ten ways you can begin to break the trauma bond with a narcissistic or psychopathic individual:
1. Get in touch with your authentic outrage and anger at being violated in the first place – and with the reality of the abuse.
The real reason narcissistic and psychopathic individuals are threatened by your anger is because they know what a powerful tool it can be to detach from them. That is why they demonize any valid anger you express toward them to depict you as “unstable” or “bitter,” framing it as you “not letting things go” rather than the more accurate perspective of you having legitimate reactions to their inhumane cruelty. After all, if they didn’t want you to bring up the past, they shouldn’t have repeated it in the first place.
The narcissist has used gaslighting and projection throughout the relationship to subdue and silence your authentic anger toward them because they know if you got in touch with it, you would be more likely to ground yourself in the reality of the abuse that is occurring and be able to leave them with more confidence.
The key to accepting the real anger you feel toward the narcissist isn’t necessarily about confronting them with it, but rather harnessing this anger strategically to detach from them. You can use anger to fuel you toward cutting ties with them, going No Contact, and to stand up for yourself, protect and defend yourself in healthy ways. It can help to keep a list of abusive incidents to document what has occurred so you can validate yourself and connect with the valid anger of what they have subjected you to.
2. Interrupt your usual patterns. Trauma bonds cause victims to develop certain patterns – patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that are used to cope with the trauma of the relationship. It’s important to begin interrupting these patterns which center the abuser as the focus of your existence and create “periods of peace” away from your abuser so you can learn to live life without them.
For example, if the narcissist is giving you the silent treatment or devaluing you and you have a pattern of chasing them, use these silent treatments as an opportunity to detach from them and return back to yourself by engaging in a new or old hobby or working toward one of your goals. You can also use this time period to engage in “reality checking” about their abusive patterns.
If you have a pattern of always trying to defend yourself or explain yourself in response to their gaslighting, you might start to break that pattern by walking away from arguments before they escalate and spending that time journaling about the incident and how it made you feel. This has the double benefit of resisting their gaslighting attempts.
If you always have a habit of checking up on your abusive partner because you suspect they’re being deceptive, you can interrupt that pattern by using that time to engage in some form of self-care that will replenish you (whether it be taking a walk in nature, meditating, yoga, or anything else that centers and grounds you). If you have a pattern of texting them every morning or constantly throughout the day, you might break that pattern by texting them later in the day and using that extra time to jog, read, or connect with a supportive friend. You may also find reading resources on narcissism and visiting online support forums or pages centered around abuse recovery helpful in further grounding yourself in the reality of their manipulation and abuse.
These small steps can train you to take the bigger steps to exit the relationship later on when you feel safe and ready to do so.
3. Take your abuser off the pedestal and “devalue” them accordingly in your mind. In the beginning, the abuser may have been charming and used tactics such as love bombing – excessive contact, flattery, attention and affection to make you value them in your life. This is because they knew they could not win you over with their authentic self. Likely, they also knew you had more options than them and viewed you as “out of their league.” Many narcissists are attracted to partners they deem “special and unique,” that they can show off like trophies and benefit from being associated with. In fact, this need to associate with “special and unique” people is literally part of the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
As the abuse cycle continues, however, the abuser slowly but surely erodes your sense of self-confidence and self-respect through manipulation, degradation and devaluation to maintain control over you and isolate you so you begin to see them as the “prize” to be won over.
In order to break the trauma bond, you have to break the narcissist’s illusion of false desirability, created by the biochemical and psychological addiction that is created by the abuse cycle. Their abuse has trained you to see yourself as “below” them when in reality you surpass them in many ways. That is why they targeted you in the first place.
Instead of engaging in the self-criticism and self-blame they have conditioned you to engage in, start identifying the negative qualities (both internal and external) that make them an undesirable partner for you and for other empathic people. What turns you off about them? What did you initially dislike about their personality, appearance, interests, hobbies and demeanor? What will you not miss about the narcissist once they’re gone? What can you do once you’re free of them, that you couldn’t do before? What will you be free to do, feel, and think? How confident will you be? What burdens can you now let go of? What thoughts and triggers will you no longer be haunted by on a daily basis? What special occasions will no longer be sabotaged or tainted by their presence?
Remember, this is an abuser who has violated and betrayed you on many levels – do not agonize over or shy away from being ruthless when thinking about their negative traits and the negative impact their behavior has had on your life. After all, they did not think twice about disparaging you with falsehoods – the least you can do is center yourself in the truth about them. This exercise will help you to see them accurately rather than through the rose-colored lenses of the love bombing and devaluation cycle. It will ultimately remind you that being free from them is a blessing and will give you more of an incentive to cut ties.
4. Acknowledge the positive qualities that make you special, unique and irreplaceable – and do more of what the narcissist tried to discourage in you. We know from research that narcissists provoke jealousy on purpose and manufacture love triangles. This gets us to compete or compare and lose sight of what makes us irreplaceable.
The trauma bond convinces you that the narcissist is irreplaceable. The truth is, the narcissist is the one who is replaceable – there are plenty of similar manipulators who all use the same tactics out there and can don a charming false mask for a while, only to reveal their true cold, callous selves.
You, however, are likely an empathic, kind, attractive, talented and supportive person who has the capacity to give healthy love. You have specific traits, internal and external qualities that can’t be replicated in anyone else. Get in touch with what makes you irreplaceable on a daily basis and you’ll slowly start to recognize that no matter what the narcissist does or doesn’t do, they don’t get to have access to you, your specific unique qualities,and all the benefits you bring to their life.
As you break the trauma bond, also remember what the narcissist claimed they disliked about you or tried to actively sabotage. Then, in the process of breaking the trauma bond or after you’ve safely exited the relationship, do more of that. What narcissists claim are your weaknesses are actually your strengths.
These are the same qualities and behaviors they feared in you and tried to discourage because these made you powerful and independent of them. Those were the assets they had to attack and minimize because they knew these made you powerful and independent of them. They disliked your self-confidence? It’s because your healthy pride threatened their ability to instill insecurities in you. They didn’t want you to pursue higher education or career goals? Your ability to attain knowledge and pursue your dreams made it harder for them to control you. They told you that you don’t “let things go”? Your ability to discern patterns and call out abusive behavior threatened their attempts to erode your boundaries.
Provided that these qualities and behaviors benefit you and do not cause harm to others, find ways to reclaim them in ways that empowers yourself and others.
5. Connect with your ego. It is not empathy, compassion, or forgiveness that breaks the trauma bond with a narcissist. Surprisingly, it is your anger, your ego and pride which have the potential to bring you back into a healthy state of self-defense and break through the mental fog with more clarity and certainty about how unacceptable the abuse you’re experiencing is.
The concept of the “ego” has been demonized in spiritual communities, but it is one that can save your life. This is especially true if you are a woman who has been socially conditioned to bask in humility and sacrifice in your relationships. You may have been taught that you shouldn’t be “cocky” about yourself or take pride in your appearance or achievements.
However, having a healthy ego is necessary to remembering who you are and what you deserve. Take time every day to connect with your ego and ask how it really feels about this relationship and how you feel about being mistreated – not just what your coping mechanisms have taught you to feel.
What you learn may surprise you – you may find yourself hearing an inner voice that expresses disgust and disdain for the abuser, a feeling of, “I can do so much better than this person,” and genuine anger at what you’re being put through. You may find yourself identifying the positive qualities and traits you are proud of which were dismissed or minimized by the abuser. You may even find yourself wanting revenge – this is actually a feeling you can channel into the healthier outlet of leaving the relationship altogether, because we all know the best “revenge” against a narcissist is freeing ourselves from them and becoming even more successful in the aftermath.
That’s because the ego has the healthy pride and survival instincts that is required to detach from toxic relationships.
Society may demonize the ego, but suppressing the ego only suppresses your natural defense system against predators. It’s all about using the ego strategically. Avoid using the ego to exhaust yourself arguing with the narcissist or to excessively prove your worth to them or to participate in their love triangles by trying to compete. Avoid allowing the narcissist to use love bombing to lure your ego back into the relationship. Use your ego to tap back into your natural survival, self-protective instincts and your authentic anger at being violated in order to detach and exit from the relationship instead.
When we have pride in who we are and connect to the authentic outrage of being violated, we are more likely to notice the disrespect of their transgressions, cut through the mental fog and resist mistreatment with more clarity and certainty because such an emotional state can put us into self-defense mode.
Even when self-love and self-respect have been eroded by the effects of trauma — anger and pride, as well as outrage at having your self-concept belittled — can still kick in to save your life when you need it the most, because the ego wants to defend you and protect your rights. Without anger or the ego, many victims of narcissists misuse empathy and compassion to sympathize with and rationalize the narcissist’s behavior – or to overexplain themselves and their feelings in hopes that the narcissist will change.
The narcissist or psychopath only uses your empathy against you to exploit you further and to have you stay in the relationship. Instead, the ego helps us use that same energy to detach from the relationship.
When you have enough healthy pride to know, “I am not going to let anyone take the self-concept I’ve created away from me,” abuse is much harder to rationalize and shockingly it’s this emotional state that often helps survivors break for good.
6. Lean into the disgust, disdain, and naturally intuitive fear you may feel toward your abuser. Recognize that they are missing out on you and you are freed by their absence. The intuitive fear and natural sense of repulsion you feel toward potential predators and manipulators is something that is discussed in international security expert Gavin de Becker’s book The Gift of Fear. From a young age, women especially are conditioned to excise this natural defense mechanism from their survival toolkit for the sake of social conditioning. They are taught to always be polite, demure and compliant to protect the feelings of others. You may find yourself rationalizing the red flags in your relationships and overriding the natural sense of disgust you feel around someone who turns you off with their actions or words – just to protect their feelings.
However, when you “lean into” the natural disgust that the abuser makes you feel every day they mistreat you, you allow nature to guide you away from predators and back to safety. A good way to “reality check” with yourself about the narcissist’s true nature is to ask yourself, “How would I feel if someone I didn’t know was doing this to me?” This will help you take the more detached, curious perspective of the narcissist as a “stranger” and will give you a lens to see how their actions would look if you were not in a close relationship with them.
Many survivors of intimate partner violence find themselves stuck in a “fear, obligation, guilt” cycle where they fear they will “miss out” on the narcissist suddenly morphing into a great partner for them. In reality, they will only “miss out” on more abuse when they leave. It is the narcissist who loses someone who truly cared for them – you, on the other hand, regain your freedom and your life when you lose them.
7. Surround yourself with feedback from healthy, empathic people so you are regularly reminded of the difference between “normal” treatment and inhumane treatment.
Narcissistic individuals try to micromanage even our perception of the positive feedback we get from others. This means they will try to detract from the compliments and healthy praise others give you and try to instill in you the falsehood that you have no support system apart from them. That’s why it’s so important to maintain connections with empathic people who can give you the accurate feedback you deserve, that give you a mirror to the “true” reality of your identity that the narcissist tries to distort. If your narcissistic partner has isolated you from friends and family, you can begin to reconnect with these loved ones or seek community support in the form of safe, validating support groups.
It can also help to keep a list of some of the positive feedback you’ve received in the past and remind yourself that the real reason narcissists were so intent on undermining this feedback was because they knew it would give you a source of validation outside of them.
8. Seek professional trauma-informed support. Healing from a trauma bond also requires processing some of the trauma the narcissist has subjected you to. Seeing a mental health professional who is well-versed in domestic violence, narcissism, PTSD, and manipulation can help you identify the “hooks” that keep you tethered to your abuser and slowly dissipate them in a safe space.
Specialized therapies such as EMDR or Cognitive Processing Therapy may also help you to process the traumas you’ve experienced with your abuser so you no longer feel as attached to them and you are able to locate the maladaptive beliefs that have been instilled in you by the abuser.
9. Connect with your “inner parts” according to the Internal Family Systems theory. Therapist Dr. Richard Schwartz developed the Internal Family Systems model to better identify the patterns he saw among his clients who appeared to have discrete “subpersonalities” within their minds which battled for control. Although each person has a core, compassionate “Self,” the Internal Family Systems Theory posits that we develop these other disparate “inner parts” which can be different from this core “Self.” These inner parts can be shaped in part by our childhood experiences and traumas.
This can include the “exile” parts which represent the younger parts of ourselves that have been traumatized and contain the shame and fear of early childhood trauma. It also includes the “managers” which attempt to keep us in control of our relationships through activities like caretaking or lashing out at others. We also have inner parts known as “firefighters” which react when our exiles are particularly triggered by trying to numb the pain (such as through addictions).
In order to fully connect with all the emotions of this experience, integrate ourselves and unravel which inner parts may be dominant in your relationship with the narcissist and may be working against you, it’s important to recognize which inner parts may be “running the show” when it comes to your trauma bond. Perhaps you have a “manager” part that is overly fawning and people-pleasing which attempts to appease your partner in order to avoid abandonment, or rages back at the abuser in an attempt to stay in control. “Speaking” to that inner part, with the help of a therapist, could allow you to identify the behaviors of each inner part and better meet the needs of that inner part without engaging in self-destruction by staying attached to a toxic person.
Or maybe you’re prone to feeling fragile and abandoned when your “exile” inner part is triggered by the narcissist’s abuse, so a “firefighter” part comes to the rescue to douse out the fires by using self-numbing activities to dissociate from the real pain of the abuse. This avoidance of trauma can actually worsen symptoms of trauma, so you may want to identify which avoidance strategies you are using and instead start to adopt healthier ways of confronting your pain. This will permit you a way to process and heal past traumas without staying attached to the present trauma of an abusive relationship.
10. Go No Contact or Low Contact depending on your circumstances. One of the most important steps to breaking a trauma bond is getting substantial time and space away from an abuser.Research tells us that toxic love can be akin to a drug addiction.Detoxing from the trauma bond requires some level of no contact or low contact if you can’t go cold turkey yet because of your unique circumstances such as sharing children or a home with the narcissistic partner or because the trauma bond is too strong at the moment to break right away.
Even if you can’t go no contact yet, from now on, put the bare minimum effort and energy into the abuser and save the rest of the time and energy you usually spend trying to change the abuser or meeting their needs into fueling, nourishing, and loving yourself. Make sure you give the narcissist an excuse like being busy with a project or feeling ill to ward off their suspicions so they do not suspect anything is wrong and do not escalate into narcissistic rage as you prepare to leave them.
Rebuild your confidence, center your goals and hobbies, and take small steps toward these goals every day. By pouring into yourself daily, you acknowledge that you are someone worthy of being taken care of and deserving of the freedom, joy, peace and healing that awaits you after the trauma bond is broken.
Trauma bonding is a powerful, inextricable bond that develops between an abuser and victim due to the presence of danger, betrayal and a power imbalance. Dr. Patrick Carnes also calls it “the betrayal bond.” According to researchers, in order to survive the abusive environment, the trauma bond causes victims to engage in behaviors to appease the abuser in an attempt to avoid further abuse, mistreatment or violence – they may even develop a sense of gratitude for the abuser for being “allowed” to survive. Victims who are trauma bonded may also develop an amplified appreciation for the small rewards doled out in the abuse cycle, what Dr. Joe Carver calls the “small kindness” perception.
Victims who are trauma bonded find themselves biochemically and psychologically tied to the abuser in ways that make it difficult to leave the relationship. Trauma bonding can cause the victim to tolerate mistreatment because they are so focused on survival and of maintaining the relationship that they feel unable to protect themselves – in fact, some victims who are trauma bonded develop the need to defend and protect their abusers.
It is important to remember that trauma bonding has little to do with the actual merits of the abuser, or how “strong” the victim is. Even the strongest of people can become trauma bonded to an abuser who has subjected them to chronically cruel and callous treatment.
Due to their lack of empathy, and their ability to manipulate, deceive, gaslight and subject their victims to countless mind games, narcissistic and psychopathic individuals specifically create very powerful trauma bonds with their victims. Here are six ways they do so:
1. Intermittent reinforcement. One of the most powerful ways narcissistic individuals create trauma bonds is through intermittent reinforcement. This is when they subject you to hot-and-cold behavior to get you fixated on them and seeking their validation. They will intermittently incorporate periods of affection and attention into the abuse cycle. They may love bomb you with excessive contact, attention and affection, only to abruptly withdraw or mistreat you, treating you with cruelty and contempt.
This intermittent reinforcement creates a powerful biochemical and psychological addiction to the cycle of abuse, as you work even harder to get the next “fix” or “reward.”
Research by Dr. Helen Fisher shows that people in love, particularly those in adverse-ridden relationships, show activation in the same areas of the brain’s reward system as in people addicted to cocaine and other drugs. When a narcissistic or psychopathic person subjects their victims to a “mean and sweet” cycle of abuse, it can feel akin to a drug addiction. That is why it feels especially painful for victims to detach from their abusers and they experience “withdrawal”-like symptoms and craving from the trauma bond that is created.
Since studies show that dopamine flows more readily in the brain when “rewards” are intermittent and unpredictable, this cements the reward circuits in your brain related to what Fisher calls the “frustration-attraction” experience. As their attention becomes more scarce and more unpredictable as the cycle of abuse continues, so do your frantic attempts to regain the honeymoon stage of the relationship which they first presented you with. Like a gambler at a slot machine, you become trained to continue “playing” their games in hopes of the elusive win.
2. Manufacturing chaos. Individuals with narcissistic and psychopathic traits enjoy manufacturing chaos and getting reactions from others. By creating chaos in your life, they monopolize your attention and resources so that you are unable to take care of yourself or tend to your needs.
They may do so by: crazymaking arguments that are instigated out of thin air, inducing sleep deprivation especially before important events, engaging in relentless interrogation and accusations, or making blatantly inappropriate comments followed by gaslighting of your reactions as “crazy” or “oversensitive.”
Such interrogation and destabilizing tactics can be similar to the ones that are used on prisoners of war, according to researcher Albert D. Biderman, who developed a Chart of Coercion to show how these tactics can overlap with the tactics of domestic violence perpetrators.
By manufacturing chaos in your life, narcissistic and psychopathic individuals gain leverage. As you spend most of your time and energy navigating their diversion tactics, defending yourself against their claims and trying to skirt their sabotage, your self-care is depleted and you become too exhausted to fight back as effectively.
The trauma bond becomes even stronger as you subconsciously justify your investment in them as a relationship “worth” fighting for despite all the obstacles they subject you to – this is one of the ways you cope with and survive the tumultuous relationship.
3. Jealousy induction. Research indicates that narcissistic and psychopathic people both engage in jealousy induction to gain a sense of power and control. Some narcissists and psychopaths also provoke jealousy on purpose to exact revenge, test the relationship, or compensate for low self-esteem depending on the specific subtype of narcissism or psychopathy at play.
By subjecting you to implicit or explicit comparisons, flaunting past partners or potential prospects, or constantly bringing in others into the dynamic of the relationship, you become trained to “compete” for the narcissist, even if you were the one who was originally less interested in them. You also lose a sense of your uniqueness and positive qualities as you become hyperfocused on the love triangles they manufacture and this takes a toll on your self-worth and self-perception over time. The narcissist skews your self-perception so you no longer see yourself and your positive qualities accurately and feel less important and valuable.
As the narcissistic or psychopathic person forces you to compare yourself to others or compete, they create the illusion of false desirability. Your ability to identify their red flags and mistreatment of you becomes diminished as you become conditioned to see the narcissist or psychopath as the “valuable” one – someone you have to “win” over regardless of their heinous transgressions – even if you have more options than they do and surpass them in many aspects. This makes you more trauma bonded to them as you fear the loss of their attention moreso than the loss of your own identity and self-confidence.
4. Identity erosion and distortion. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals do not always abuse in a way that is outwardly obvious. That is why they engage in underhanded methods to take control over your mind and erode your sense of self and identity over time. This is a key component of the trauma bond, as researchers note that trauma-bonded victims internalize the perpetrator’s perception of them rather than staying grounded in their own sense of self. One of these tactics is the method of “distortion” – a way of making you see yourself as the opposite of what you actually are, in an attempt to lower your self-esteem so that you are more compliant and malleable to their advances.
Narcissists will distort your true traits and behaviors to depict you as the opposite of who you are. Ironically, their accusations tend to be a projection of their own behaviors, traits, and character.
You will notice that their accusations contradict the feedback you get from empathic people who have no agenda to gaslight or control you. While others may comment on your kindness, empathy, integrity, intelligence and knowledge, the narcissist may claim you are selfish (especially when you start setting healthy boundaries with them), deceptive, or lacking in some way – all claims that better describe them.
This is a way to isolate you from the healthy and accurate feedback and support they know you have so they can control your self-perception – and better control you.
Imagine the narcissistic individual metaphorically placing a funhouse mirror in front of you to “distort” your true proportions – this is exactly what they are doing when they engage in covert insults or make comparisons to you and something else that represents the opposing qualities of what you actually are. For example, a covert narcissist may do this by commenting on a positive trait you possess by implying you’re the opposite (e.g. “You’re no fun,” or “You’re not very social” when you are in fact outgoing and popular). Or, they may compare you physically or emotionally to someone you could not be more different from to covertly diminish you.
Distortion can happen in a number of ways, but the motive is the same: to destabilize you, plant self-doubt especially about positive qualities you possess, as well as the positive qualities others notice about you and celebrate. This is a way to alienate you even when you are surrounded by support and healthy praise from others.
By alienating you, you become further trauma bonded to the narcissist for comfort and approval as they become your primary source of validation and feedback for your sense of “self.”
5. Alienation and degradation. Not only do narcissists isolate you from healthy feedback from others, they alienate you emotionally. They may do this by falsely comparing you to other people, claiming they’ve “never had a problem like this” with anyone else to make you feel defective and separate from others and deserving of their abuse.
By gaslighting you in this manner, they’re able to paradoxically pull you closer to them as you may feel subconsciously conditioned to seek their reassurance after this claim. You may be mislead into believing that your reactions to the abuse are the problem, and become further bonded to them in a subconscious effort to validate the fact that you are not the problem.
In reality, many people who are closest to the narcissist have been subjected to their manipulative and aggressive ways, but they’d rather gaslight you into believing you’re the only one so they can continue to get away with their abuse.
In saying you are the problem, narcissists can convince you that your perceptions are inaccurate and that you are overreacting. However, if you you ever talk to any of their other victims, you’ll soon find out they follow very similar patterns indicating their lack of empathy, callousness, cruelty, and degradation of others.
6. Destructive conditioning. Narcissistic and psychopathic individuals punish you for experiencing joy outside of them. That is why they attempt to pair your joyful moments with insertions of terror, abuse, criticism and minimizing remarks.
They want to destructively condition you to associate the experience of gaining fulfillment and pleasure from sources outside of them with experiencing fear, distress, and their rage.
This is also due to their pathological envy and the sadistic pleasure they derive from attempting to deflate your excitement.
That is why narcissistic and psychopathic individuals are notorious for ruining holidays, special celebrations and birthdays.
Remember: toxic people always feel a compulsive need to destroy beautiful moments – to better isolate you, control you, get you to associate joy with their punishment, and make you dependent on only them for fulfillment.
That is why it is so important to detach from toxic individuals early on, so you have a pathway back to peace. You deserve to hold onto your joy. In your healing journey, after processing some of the trauma (preferably with a trauma-informed mental health professional), you can revisit the memories where they tried to sabotage you and savor the joy that should have been savored all over again. This time, imagine these joyful moments playing out without their interference. Use this reconditioning of memories to assist in your healing and remind yourself of the pure, unadulterated joy you truly deserved to experience.
If you are in a trauma bond with a narcissist, you are not alone and support is out there. You must connect to your authentic outrage at being violated and get in touch with the reality of the abuse in order to begin breaking such a bond, but the first step to breaking a trauma bond is to recognize it in the first place.
ReferencesCasassa, K., Knight, L., & Mengo, C. (2022). Trauma Bonding Perspectives From Service
Providers and Survivors of Sex Trafficking: A Scoping Review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(3), 969–984. https://doi.org/10.1177/1524838020985542
Fisher, H. E., Xu, X., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2016). Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other. Frontiers in psychology, 7, 687. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687
Massar, K., Winters, C. L., Lenz, S., & Jonason, P. K. (2017). Green-eyed snakes: The associations between psychopathy, jealousy, and jealousy induction. Personality and Individual Differences, 115, 164–168. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.01.055
Reid, J. A., Haskell, R. A., Dillahunt-Aspillaga, C., Thor, J. A. (2013). Contemporary review of empirical and clinical studies of trauma bonding in violent or exploitative relationships. International Journal of Psychology Research, 8(1), 37–73.
Tortoriello, G. K., Hart, W., Richardson, K., & Tullett, A. M. (2017). Do narcissists try to make romantic partners jealous on purpose? An examination of motives for deliberate jealousy-induction among subtypes of narcissism. Personality and Individual Differences, 114, 10–15.
Zald, D. H., Boileau, I., El-Dearedy, W., Gunn, R., McGlone, F., Dichter, G. S., & Dagher, A.
(2004). Dopamine transmission in the human striatum during monetary reward tasks. The Journal of neuroscience: the official journal of the Society for Neuroscience, 24(17), 4105–4112. https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.4643-03.2004
When you talk about coming-of-age stories written for young girls, many think of Judy Blume’s massive success, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Published in 1970, the book’s 11-year-old titular character struggles with all the little moments of girlhood that we cringe at when we think back to our Middle School years. It’s boys, bras, and the dreaded first menstruation. It follows young Margaret as she has to move states away and start fresh making new friends, all while puberty looms over her.
Despite winning awards and recognition ever since it was first published, Are You There God?… was heavily censored and banned by many thanks to exploring sexuality, young women’s changing bodies, and inherit questioning of religion. With this rich history, it’s surprising that the book is only now getting a film adaptation over 50 years later thanks to Lionsgate–and it’s coming out soon. Here’s what we know about the movie so far:
It’s got heavy-hitters like Kathy Bates and Rachel McAdams.LionsgateThe first thing you run to when you want to know if a movie will be good or not is the cast list. For Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, you’ve got two heavy-hitters on the cast. Best Actress Oscar winner Kathy Bates (Misery) stars as Margaret’s sassy grandmother, Sylvia. Judging by the trailer–which we’ll get into later–she’s channeling some classic grandmother guilt-trip energy.
Oscar-nominated powerhouse Rachel McAdams plays Margaret’s stressed-out, long-suffering mother. Considering her range, from Mean Girls to The Notebook, we’ve got our hopes up high that she’ll be the right fit.
It stars familiar face Abby Ryder Fortson as Margaret.LionsgateThe filmmakers didn’t go for some unknown when it comes to filling the role for Margaret. You might recognize Abby Ryder Fortson from a few places. She played Paul Rudd’s funny daughter in the Marvel Ant-Man movies as well as Billy in the romantic drama Forever My Girl. She said on a recent red carpet:
“I think the thing that really drew me to the project was the feeling that we can all connect to the story of Margaret, because we are all going through that time in our lives–most of us still are–where we’re trying to figure ourselves out and trying to build the pieces of ourselves together.”
The Movie Report
The filmmakers flew out to Key West to get Judy Blume’s blessing.The source material was first published back in 1970, so what took so long for it to finally be adapted into a feature film? Apparently author Judy Blume has been very hesitant to have her story made into a movie. What changed this time? Producer James L. Brooks (Jerry Maguire) and writer-director Kelly Fremon Craig (The Edge of Seventeen) ended up flying out to Key West, Florida to talk to Blume and her husband in person about their vision for the adaptation. Brooks said in an exclusive interview with Deadline:
“It was like a working conversation and we lost ourselves in the work. We got up to go, with this uncertainty of everything happening so fast after we’d just shared each other’s thoughts, and her husband George said, ‘So we’re doing this!’ And then we were all hugging.”
James L. Brooks, Deadline
It’s such an adorable scene, picturing this small group of creatives hugging while on a beach in Key West. It sounds like Judy Blume finally found the right people to tell her story, which bodes well for how it’ll turn out.
It’s got a spring 2023 release date.LionsgateYou aren’t going to have to wait too long to watch all the pre-teen angst on the big screen. Despite only just getting a first-look trailer, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret is coming out April 28, 2023. It looks like it’ll have a typical theater release.
The trailer just dropped.Getting excited about Are You There God?… yet? Check out the trailer below.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and sabotage our chances of getting what we really want. Relationships, careers, fitness…we can derail ourselves in all areas of life. It’s a hard reality to confront … when there’s no one to blame.
I’ve been writing about relationships for years and can’t help but notice patterns in where women go wrong. It’s not anyone’s fault. No one sets out with bad intentions, trying to sabotage their relationship. Usually, all a woman wants is to keep her relationship strong and happy. She wants it to last, but oftentimes she still ends up doing things that can push a guy away and ruin a relationship.
One area where people go wrong is in not working on themselves and letting less-than-ideal character traits go unchecked. I think that on the one hand, we’d like to believe that this is the way we are and the person we’re with should just take it or leave it, on the other hand, we realize that isn’t really the healthiest attitude, especially when it comes to negative tendencies like being insecure, clingy, needy, jealous, vengeful, hostile and on and on.
Yeah, being this way might be “yourself,” but it’s the worst of you. Why not make an effort to refine those weak spots and be your best self? This is how you win.
Let’s look at some common areas where a lot of women go wrong in relationships and how to resolve them:
- You choose partners who can’t give you what you want.You will never get what you want if you keep settling for what you don’t want.
Maybe you’re only drawn to emotionally unavailable people who just don’t treat you right
Going for partners like this is a form of self-sabotage. It can happen when deep down you feel unworthy, you feel not good enough. And these feelings are usually rooted in childhood pain and trauma.
So deep down you have these beliefs about yourself, and then you go out into the world and try to date and try to find a partner but you only seem drawn to the ones who don’t want you. And this is because the subconscious mind is always looking to prove itself right. If you believe you are unworthy, you will be drawn to partners who make you feel that way.
When someone does show genuine interest, you may be put off because this doesn’t align with how you see yourself. You don’t truly like yourself and you, again this is subconscious, believe anyone who does like or love you must be fatally flawed.
- You don’t understand your triggers.Don’t let your emotions run the show, you have to look at why you’re reacting the way you are in certain situations. When we have an intense, reflexive emotional response, it’s usually the result of a core wound being touched upon or activated.
Try to identify what it is, especially when you have a strong reaction to something pretty trivial.
Trace it back to your childhood- what were your unmet needs? And how might these needs be showing up in your adult relationships?
Whatever unmet needs you had in childhood are bound to get touched upon in a relationship and a lot of the time, that’s what you’re reacting to.
- You commit too soon.If you latch onto someone forcefully and commit yourself too soon, it’s usually a sign that you’re using this person as a means to fill an emotional void.
Healthy relationships build slowly and evolve organically. There isn’t a need to force things to move in a certain direction.
When you feel an intense pull toward someone or are consumed with trying to win them over and prove yourself to them, it signals you have self-esteem issues you need to work through. Maybe you see this person as a chance to save you from something.
And the other person will most likely be put off by this. First, it doesn’t feel earned, and second, we can all sense when someone is trying to get something out of us and it doesn’t feel good.
You also may come across as too desperate and needy and this is a universal turn-off.
- You’re too scared.A lot of people are operating from a place of fear, they stay in bad relationships fearing they won’t find better… or they are consumed with fears of ending up alone.
When you come from a place of worry and anxiety, you’re basically saying “I don’t trust that things will work out for me so I’m going to question everything until I prove myself right.”
When you operate from fear and engage with negative, fearful thoughts, you perpetuate the very reality that you’re afraid of. It’s hard to connect when you’re in this worried state, it’s hard to be vulnerable and drop your guard when deep down you believe nothing is ever going to work out in your favor. This, in turn, will push away the very thing you want the most.
You have to get to the heart of the fear- where is it coming from? What is the root? And challenge the fears. Maybe you think you won’t find anyone… is that true? Can you know with 100% certainty that’s true? No, you can’t. So stop engaging with a thought that keeps you stuck where you don’t want to be.
Notice your thoughts throughout the day and ask yourself: Does this thought serve me well? Does this take me where I want to go? If the answer is no, then stop engaging with the thought!
- You are the victim.Look, it happens to the best of us. We fall into the victim mentality and it’s hard to get out of it.
It doesn’t feel good, but in a way, it does feel easier to blame outside circumstances for our misfortune… to relinquish any personal blame and responsibility.
And I’m not saying greater forces aren’t at play… but it doesn’t serve you to dwell on that which is outside your control.
You need to take responsibility. Take responsibility for yourself, for your life, for your actions and reactions.
Yes, I know life isn’t fair. And it’s more unfair to some than others. But wallowing in this doesn’t serve you, it stunts you.
You have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask: How am I contributing to my misfortune? And how can I turn it around?
How are you keeping yourself stuck and what can you do today to break free?
Create a vision of the life and relationship you want and make a plan with small, achievable action steps for how you will get there.
Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide and death
I could always tell you’d fallen in love with somebody when you started pronouncing their name differently. It was a subtle change, but I could always tell how the syllables tasted fresh on your tongue. You spoke every letter so carefully, as if you wanted to be sure that you could say them in a way no one else ever could. I would’ve found it beautiful, probably, if it didn’t mean you were no longer in love with me.
It is a strange thing, to lose the reverence of someone who once treated you like the most precious, delicate thing. How in one moment you’re so secure in the fact that you’re the center of their solar system, the gravity that brings them to their knees, and then suddenly you’re just another lonely planet lost out in orbit, seeking out the heat of a sun that no longer burns for you. The whole universe begins to look different—or maybe it always looked this way and you just made me see it differently.
The truth is, I’m not even sure I miss who you were to me but who I became when viewed through your eyes. I’ll never again be that person who lived up on your pedestal, who existed purely in relation to you. There were parts of me that you once loved so fiercely that I couldn’t help but start to love them too, but on my worst days I start to wonder if they ever really existed at all. What parts were me and what parts were just what you wanted me to be? How much of myself did I curate just so you would love me?
And maybe this is all for the best. Maybe I’m better for creating an identity for myself that’s separate from that, that can exist even when you’re no longer around to justify it. Maybe that’s how it always should’ve been. But I still can’t shake the feeling that the moment you left, you took something with you, and my worst fear is that it’s something that should still belong to me. I think I’ll spend my whole life trying to make my name sound even half as beautiful as you did.
The age of my innocence ended four years ago when I woke up to a message saying a family friend had shot himself. The next day, another loved one of mine attempted suicide too. Before then, my life hadn’t been untouched by tragedy, but after it seemed ravaged by it.
I remember the funeral so clearly that sometimes when I close my eyes I can convince myself I’m still there. It was held in a room with ceiling-to-floor windows, but when the sky turned dark, the glass acted as a mirror, reflecting our grief back at us. No one else seemed to want to look directly at it, but I couldn’t look away—not from the redness ringing my own eyes, not from the faces of people I’d never met before but had all been brought together by a cruel act of fate. I felt, deep down, it was my duty to witness their pain, but also to witness the aftermath of what he left behind. To find the traces of love toward him that etched into others’ grief. To know for sure that, no matter how things ended, no matter how he felt at the end of his days, his life mattered.
I still do that, I’ve noticed. Even without the mirrored windows, I find myself unable to look away from tragedy. I want to know the depths of it, the truths, the realities. My friends say I’ve grown morbid; they say there’s a darkness that hides behind my usual glittery sheen. But I think it’s less about feeling fascinated by the macabre and more about accepting it for what it is. It’s about knowing in the very depths of my soul that even in all this chaos, there are some things that should never go ignored.
Because I know now for a fact that it did matter—his life, his love, his loss. That it still does. That those emotions still live here, even if he does not. And it is all so precious, if to no one else, then at least to me.
No one talked about it when my aunt got sick. There’s something particularly awkward, even embarrassing, about contracting covid when you’re in a pandemic-denying family. Everyone thought it was better to pretend it wasn’t happening. When she was rushed to the hospital weeks later, no one said a word. After she died, I rarely heard anyone speak her name at all.
It’s strange how sometimes you lose people in pieces. When someone is battling for their life for months, you find yourself grieving in stages, letting go of those slivers of hope little by little, over and over again. But if I’m being honest, I started losing my aunt before she ever got sick. The fissures in my family began to form years and years ago, and she and I ended up on different ends of the spectrum. By the time we lost her for good, she had already become unrecognizable to me.
Now I’ve become the person who doesn’t talk about it much, if only because there are no words to explain these complicated feelings. I’m not sure anyone wants to hear them, anyway. The ones who knew her don’t want to hear ill of the dead; the ones who didn’t think I should’ve moved past it all by now. Somehow I agree with both and neither of them at the same time.
I think all of this is to say that I think I lost a lot of faith over the past few years, and in the long, drawn out process of losing my aunt, I lost a part of myself. And I hate that love and hope and optimism can turn into something so ugly in the end. I hate the thing inside of me that’s filled up all that empty space. I’m still hoping that somehow, someday, I’ll leave all of that behind too.
I lost my mother briefly to cancer when I was 11. I say “briefly” because, by some grace of God or the universe or some other higher power I have yet to meet, after a year of treatment, she survived. This story has a happy ending, but does that make it a happy story?
For years, I missed my mother’s laugh. I missed her smile. I missed the way she made the world feel like it would be okay. I missed the way her love made me feel protected before it suddenly became just another thing that seemed able to be taken away. Sometimes I still miss all of those things, because time kept turning and the world has moved on but there are some things that just don’t come back, not completely. I was too young to understand the weight of what I had before it was gone.
But I am grateful. I am grateful to have a mother who can laugh again, who can smile again, who can still sometimes make the world feel a little less dark than it does on other days. But I’ll never forget the things life took from her, the things they took from me. And I’ll never stop wishing, in some small, futile way, that we could get them back.
There was a time in my life where I lived in many different places in a short period of time, not because I needed to but simply because I could. I liked the feeling of knowing that I was in control of the coming and going for once, that life couldn’t take away something that I willingly left behind. I liked believing that it was some cure to this lifelong, persistent grief.
But what’s the difference between leaving and being left behind when the result is always the same? Because I look back at those moments of my life now with the same heavy sense of nostalgia that I do with anything else. I think back to those cities I explored and how they still somehow haunt my dreams; I think back to the people I met and how naive I was to think that by controlling the situation, I could ever control the outcome. Because it never made them matter to me any less, did it? It never changed the way they made me laugh or cry or feel so loved, so understood. And it doesn’t change the way my heart aches still when I remember them. It doesn’t change the way it has all changed me.
I guess I’m done trying to force life’s hand, to come out the victor of a situation where there is no winning or losing. Because it’s all a little bit of both, isn’t it? I have gained too much in the past three decades to ever pretend it wasn’t worth it. And I have lost too much to pretend I would’ve been better off without it in the first place.
I’m trying to do this thing where I look at time differently. I’ve always seen my life as a series of befores and afters—before something started, after it ended. Before I knew someone, after I lost them. Before I became who I am now and who I will be afterwards. All these lines I’ve spent decades drawing have begun to feel arbitrary.
It’s a shame that I’ve learned to treat time so linearly, as if every moment only matters in relation to where I exist in the present. It feels like a disservice to the people I’ve met, the things I’ve seen, the versions that I’ve been. Because there was a time once when all of this meant everything to me, where we existed in that space between before and after and where I think, in some ways, we may exist still.
We have lost so many things along the way. But there is beauty in the fact that I can only grieve these things because I had them once, because they filled me with light and hope and heartache and anguish. And god, how wonderful it was to have had anything worth losing at all.
Narcissism has become a loaded word over the years, yet research has also consistently found that it is detrimental to interpersonal relationships.
The traits of narcissism, which can also overlap with the diagnostic criteria of the full-fledged personality disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, can include a lack of empathy, an excessive sense of entitlement, grandiose fantasies, pathological envy and exploitation of others.
The impact of these traits on interpersonal interactions can include aggression against others. For example, a 2021 meta-analysis of 437 independent studies found that both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism was significantly correlated with multiple forms of bullying and both reactive and proactive aggression including unprovoked aggression.
Researchers have distinguished between these two subtypes of narcissism. Grandiose narcissism is associated with higher self-esteem, less susceptibility to stress or depression, extroversion and the pursuit of power. Vulnerable narcissism (or informally named “covert” narcissism) is associated with lower self-esteem, fearfulness, higher neuroticism, hypersensitivity, and introversion.
The Link Between Narcissistic Partner Traits and PTSDAmong the many concerns about narcissism is how narcissistic traits in a partner can affect your mental health. For a long time, it has been implied that being in a long-term romantic relationship with a narcissist could potentially cause post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. However, such an association has not been empirically studied until now.
In my 2022 research study of 1,294 participants conducted at Harvard University and published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, I found that narcissistic traits, particularly grandiose narcissism, predicted PTSD symptoms in those who had been in romantic relationships with partners high in these traits.
This is the first large-scale research study to establish an association between narcissistic partner traits and PTSD symptoms. Psychopathic traits also predicted PTSD symptoms in these relationships as well, but only for the subgroup of individuals who were still in the romantic relationship while taking the survey.
This study highlights the powerful impact of grandiose narcissism, which most strongly predicted a majority of PTSD symptom clusters and was a stronger predictor than vulnerable narcissism or psychopathy for those who had left the relationship. This could be because grandiose narcissism is associated with more self-aggrandizement and could lead to heightened self-blame and intrusive thoughts in individuals who experience abuse from a more confident and ruthless person with these traits.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a disorder characterized by maladaptive changes in cognition, memories, arousal, reactivity, and interpersonal functioning following the exposure to a traumatic event involving actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.
According to the DSM-V, PTSD includes four main categories of symptom clusters, including intrusion symptoms (e.g. intrusive thoughts or memories of the trauma), avoidance symptoms (e.g. avoiding places or activities that remind you of the trauma), negative alterations in cognition and mood (e.g. an inability to enjoy things you loved), and alterations in arousal and reactivity (e.g. hyperarousal, irritability, recklessness).
In this study, grandiose narcissism traits predicted intrusion and avoidance symptoms of PTSD most strongly. Partner traits in general also explained the most variance in intrusion and avoidance PTSD symptom clusters.
Given the aggression associated with narcissistic traits and the impact of manipulative behaviors associated with narcissism, it makes sense that individuals in relationships with narcissistic people would commonly experience post-traumatic symptoms such as intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance of triggers and thoughts about the traumatic situations related to the relationship specifically.
The Role of Manipulation Tactics in PTSDThe study also explored the correlations among these traits, PTSD and manipulation tactics such as stonewalling, jealousy induction and love bombing. Significant positive correlations were found between narcissistic and psychopathic traits and manipulation tactics such as love bombing, stonewalling, and jealousy induction.
Notably, manipulation tactics such as jealousy induction and love bombing also significantly predicted PTSD for the group who had already left the romantic relationship, although these were weaker predictors of PTSD than narcissistic traits themselves.
The insidious nature of the manipulation tactics associated with narcissistic traits further aligns with this finding, as such tactics are deliberately weaponized to instill fear and anxiety while disorienting the target. For example, jealousy induction or the more informally termed romantic “triangulation,” is the use of bringing another party into the dynamic of the romantic relationship to deliberately provoke jealousy.
Previous research from Tortoriello and colleagues (2017), as well as Massar and colleagues (2017) indicates that individuals with narcissistic traits or psychopathic traits can both engage in jealousy induction for the purposes of gaining power and control, exacting revenge, testing the relationship or compensating for low self-esteem.
According to these studies, grandiose narcissists and primary psychopaths (psychopaths who are said to be “born” rather than made from their environment) use jealousy induction primarily for power and control (and for psychopaths, exacting revenge too). Vulnerable narcissists and secondary psychopaths (psychopaths shaped by their environment) can also use it to compensate for low self-esteem.
For the participants in my study, individuals in romantic relationships with narcissistic partners described how jealousy induction was used to instill insecurities in them, make them “compete” for the narcissist’s attention, provoke a reaction and depict them as “controlling” or “crazy” when they did react. This included behaviors such as infidelity, constant mentions of other past partners or current prospects, flirting in front of their partners as well as demeaning comparisons.
Love bombing is another manipulation tactic that can affect posttraumatic symptomology. It is the use of excessive flattery, attention and contact early on to “groom” a person into a romantic relationship. According to previous research, it is positively correlated with narcissistic tendencies and tends to involve more media and text usage in romantic relationships.
In my study, participants noted that love bombing often included gifts, vacations, and romantic dates as well as constant phone calls and text messages. Their partners tended to mirror their hobbies, interests, and personalities, and call them their “soulmates.”
Love bombing also consisted of rushing into cohabitation or marriage, promises for the future (also known as “future faking”) which did not come into fruition, as well as an abrupt “devaluation” phase where abuse and mistreatment became increasingly more frequent.
According to many of the participants, this devaluation usually occurred during another milestone such as after a wedding or during a pregnancy – at a time where individuals were already significantly invested in the relationship so they felt the rug being pulled out from underneath them.
Past studies have shown that individuals in relationships with partner traits such as narcissism or psychopathy tend to experience a burden on their mental health, yet survivors are often gaslit in therapeutic settings about their experiences.
Moving forward, future research should focus on interventions that best help survivors in such relationships heal and recover from the impact of narcissistic traits in partners and their covert aggression.
ReferencesArabi, S. (2023). Narcissistic and psychopathic traits in romantic partners predict post-traumatic stress disorder symptomology: Evidence for unique impact in a large sample. Personality and Individual Differences, 201.
Day, N., Bourke, M., Townsend, M., & Grenyer, B. (2020). Pathological Narcissism: A Study of Burden on Partners and Family. Journal of Personality Disorders, 34(6), 799-813.
Kjærvik, S. L., & Bushman, B. J. (2021). The link between narcissism and aggression: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 147(5), 477–503. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000323
Leedom, Andersen, D., Glynn, M. A., & Barone, M. L. (2019). Counseling Intimate Partner Abuse Survivors: Effective and Ineffective Interventions. Journal of Counseling and Development, 97(4), 364–375. https://doi.org/10.1002/jcad.12285
Massar, K., Winters, C. L., Lenz, S., & Jonason, P. K. (2017). Green-eyed snakes: The associations between psychopathy, jealousy, and jealousy induction. Personality and Individual Differences, 115, 164–168. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.01.055
Strutzenberg, C. C., Wiersma-Mosley, J. D., Jozkowski, K. N., & Becnel, J. N. (2017). Love-bombing: A Narcissistic Approach to Relationship Formation. Discovery, The Student Journal of Dale Bumpers College of Agricultural, Food and Life Sciences, 18(1), 81-89.
Tortoriello, G. K., Hart, W., Richardson, K., & Tullett, A. M. (2017). Do narcissists try to make romantic partners jealous on purpose? An examination of motives for deliberate jealousy-induction among subtypes of narcissism. Personality and Individual Differences, 114, 10–15.
The road to enlightenment is paved with mistakes made along the way… and boy did I make them all!
So much so that I created a career writing about relationships, and my personal experiences gave me so much more insights than a Ph.D. ever could!
One comment I hear over and over again is, “I wish I knew this sooner!” I totally relate to that sentiment and to help you make empowered choices in your dating life and get clarity before you make the devastating and sometimes humiliating mistakes, here are the best lessons I wish I knew sooner:
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Stop looking for love; make yourself a vessel to receive it.You will never be able to experience true love until you conquer the barriers that are preventing you from receiving it. This applies if you’re single as well as if you’re in a relationship.
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Relationships amplify what’s already inside you.Don’t think a relationship will magically cure you and heal your pain and trauma. The opposite is true and these things will only become more intense and magnified in a relationship because love brings up all that is unloved within us.
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Heartbreak is a blessing or a curse; it’s up to you.A devastating breakup can either destroy you or make you stronger, you get to choose. It doesn’t matter how badly he wronged you, you are the only one who gets to decide if you will be cast as victim or heroine in the story of your life.
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You can’t win them all.One day I was lamenting to a friend about this guy who just wouldn’t commit to me. I couldn’t understand why or what the issue was. Instead of dishing out sympathy and the typical “You’re too good for him anyway” pep talk, she looked me dead in the eye and said: “You can’t win them all. Let it go.” Whether it’s in dating or life in general, these are words to live by.
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You won’t recognize the right partner for you until you are in the right place internally.Despite what you’ve heard, you won’t just “know” when you find “the one.” You need to be in a healthy place internally, otherwise, you can feel an intense pull toward the wrong people for the wrong reasons.
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You teach the world how to treat you.Stop putting yourself on the clearance rack, if you do then you’ll be treated like you’re the bottom of the barrel. No one will raise your value for you, it’s on you.
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If you think all men are jerks.,.. maybe you just have bad taste in men.If every guy ghosts you or has commitment issues, then it’s time to look at who you’re choosing and why.
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Stop texting him… you don’t need to remind him you exist.I promise, if a guy really likes you he won’t just forget about you. You won’t have to poke him every so often to remind him you’re out there and to pick things back up again.
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Happiness doesn’t just happen.We create our own happiness. It doesn’t come from having the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect relationship (as if such a thing even exists!), or any external trappings. Happiness doesn’t just show up at your door as a consolation prize for years of suffering. You have to plant the seeds of happiness and tend to them daily.
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Fairytale love doesn’t exist.The mad, passionate, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep type of love does exist…it’s called infatuation, and it has a very short shelf life. True love isn’t something that just takes you over, it’s something you work for and toward, and it isn’t always pretty or easy.
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Relationships do not determine your worth.Maybe this one cheated and that one didn’t text back and the last one ghosted on you… so what? None of them are the arbiters of your worth, only you are.
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Love isn’t what you get; it’s what you give.So many of us fall into the trap of focusing on what we’re not getting in our relationship. He doesn’t call me enough, he isn’t affectionate enough, he doesn’t take me out enough. Instead of dwelling on what you aren’t getting, shift your focus to what you could be giving. Focus on how you’re showing up in the relationship, on what you’re putting into it, and on how you can love better.
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Sometimes you’re the problem.It isn’t always easy to recognize and admit this, but it is a sign of maturity and true self-awareness.
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Ask yourself: am I in love or am I triggered?These things can feel the same and cause the same sensations in your body. Look back on your life, reflect on what your unmet childhood needs were and see how this may be driving the people you are drawn to.
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You don’t need a closure talk that wraps everything up in a pretty bow.Stop waiting to get closure from your ex before you move on. There will never be a perfect explanation for why things ended that answers all your questions and still manages not to hurt your feelings too badly. You can give yourself the closure. Closure means it’s over, it’s done, and it’s closed.
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It’s not what happens to us, it’s the story we tell ourselves about what happened that determines if we suffer or we grow.If you internalize the idea that you were rejected because you’re unworthy or unlovable or nothing will ever work out the way you want… then you will suffer. Challenge the narrative and consider you might be wrong, consider alternate explanations.
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The beginning of a relationship is not real.The beginning is just an illusion, you’re both on your best behavior, presenting yourself in the best possible light. If you are sticking it out in a bad relationship because of how great it used to be, or you can’t move on from a situationship with a guy you barely got to know, realize you’re holding onto a fantasy.
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Ditch the regrets.There are many paths we could have taken, choices we could have made instead, and things we wish we had done differently. There is no point in stewing in regret. Look back long enough to find a lesson that will help you grow and prevent you from repeating the same mistake, and not a minute more.
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You will never have to convince your soulmate that he is your soulmate.You don’t need to plot or strategize or do social media deep dives. If this is the right person for you, they will know it too!
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Not everyone is a match.Sometimes it wasn’t you and it wasn’t him, it just wasn’t a match and that’s fine!
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You will be OK.Above all, make this your mantra: I will be OK. If you can truly surrender to this idea, you won’t have any more fears when it comes to dating. What is there to fear when you know everything will be OK in the end?
While it’s much easier to blame other people for everything that goes wrong… sometimes it’s us. Sometimes we’re the problem, we’re the toxic ones. Eek. There’s a truth no one really wants to admit.
First, it’s OK. Pretty much everyone goes through a period of being a little toxic and this isn’t a final destination. You can work on it and improve and get back to a positive, emotionally healthy place.
Whether it’s toxic traits and behaviors or a fully toxic personality, the first step is to identify it, and then you can make a plan to make changes to get yourself on a better path.
First, let’s look at some signs you’re toxic:
1. You aren’t happy for other people ever.If you struggle to feel happy for other people, it indicates you aren’t fulfilled in your own life.
I know how hard it is to be happy for others when life just keeps knocking you down and you can’t seem to get anything right… but being jealous and envious or even upset at someone else’s good fortune just feeds the toxic beast inside you.
When these negative feelings come up, it’s a good opportunity to look within yourself. So you’re upset that your friend got engaged (well you’re also happy for her, but still kind of upset)… ask yourself why? Well, maybe you’re afraid it will never happen for you, that you are destined to be alone.
OK, now go a little deeper. Why do you feel this way? Well… maybe you don’t feel worthy of love because nothing has worked out in the past. Now keep going, really challenge the belief. Can you know for certain that you will end up alone? No, we can’t know that. So why feed into those negative/fearful thoughts? How is that serving you?
You may also not be happy for other people when they get something you already have. Ask yourself why. Well… maybe it’s frustrating to you seeing other people get everything they want so easily when you have to fight tooth and nail for what you want. Keep going… why does that bother you? Well… it seems unfair. Then ask yourself: does it serve you to think that life is unfair? Does that take you anywhere good? And the clear answer is no.
Don’t just let the negativity consume you. Challenge it.
Try to notice when your mind is going down that path and re-direct it. And as best you can, try to see other people’s fortune as motivation and inspiration, rather than a defeat.
They didn’t take anything away from you. They got what they wanted and they probably had many moments of struggle and doubt and eventually, your time will come.
2. You have a problem with everyone.If you have a problem with everyone…. then maybe you’re the problem.
Yes, sometimes we do find ourselves surrounded by awful people, but if this is a constant in your life, then maybe it’s you.
First, like attracts like. Emotionally healthy people attract other emotionally healthy people. If you’re toxic, then you probably will attract toxic people. We all find comfort in the familiar even if it’s bad for us.
You may also seek out certain kinds of people because they validate the way you already feel about yourself. For example, if deep down you don’t feel good enough, you will be drawn to emotionally unavailable partners who treat you like you’re not good enough because they are validating the way you already feel about yourself.
It’s also possible that you aren’t taking responsibility for your own life and your actions and people are reacting to whatever negativity you’re putting out there and this is putting you on the defensive and putting you in victim mode, thinking you’re the innocent one and everyone is out to get you.
3. You can’t accept responsibility.If nothing is ever your fault and someone else is always to blame… well, you may have a personal accountability problem.
Maybe you always need a scapegoat to explain away why your life is the way it is… it’s because all men (or women) are jerks… your parents messed you up… it’s society, it’s the economy, it’s the patriarchy and so forth.
Now I’m not saying there are never external forces… but it can’t ever be only external forces. It can’t be that you are not responsible for anything that happens in your life. It can’t be that you’re never to blame.
Emotionally healthy people can take responsibility for their lives. Toxic people don’t and instead play the victim. And let me tell you, no one likes a victim.
4. You think you know best.Do you find yourself frustrated with the people in your life for making such idiotic choices that you would never make?
Are you overly harsh and critical? Maybe even a little controlling?
This behavior can come about when you feel out of control or frustrated in your own life.
Maybe you think you know best, but you also have to have empathy and recognize it’s not always so easy for people to change. It’s not always so easy to leave that relationship or that job or to stand up for yourself to family members.
You probably have your own experience of this so you should be able to recognize and have compassion when someone else is struggling in that area. The fact is, you’re probably more mad at yourself than at them for struggling in the same areas of life.
5. You aren’t nice.As the saying goes… hurt people hurt people.
Are you a nice person? Or are you mean, nasty, quick-tempered, bitter, jealous, and spiteful?
Do you easily lash out at everyone around you? Are you rude and snappy with people most of the time? Are you constantly judging and rolling your eyes?
These behaviors come from a place of feeling hurt internally. So take a closer look at that- where is this really coming from?
Make an effort to be nicer to people in your life, from loved ones to cab drivers. This will make you feel better about yourself and will change how people respond to you which will steer your life in a more positive direction.
6. You’re an emotional vampire.Emotional vampires tend to drain the emotional energy out of everyone they interact with.
They basically treat other people like emotional dumping grounds. They don’t really care what other people are going through, it’s all about them and their problems and their needs.
They have an excessive need for validation and rely on others to make them feel good about themselves. They expect other people to always be there for them even if they don’t return the favor and when people stop responding to them, they feel hurt and offended, believing others are out to get them or just don’t understand them… that people are bad and will always screw them over.
Healthy relationships are reciprocal and because emotional vampires have nothing to give, people don’t stick around for very long. And a lot of the time they lack the self-awareness to realize it’s the result of their behavior.
If this description is hitting a little too close to home, then start by looking at what you can give to a person instead of what you can get. You also need to address your lack of self-esteem because that is usually the source of it all.
7. You think you’re toxic.Deep down… you usually already know the truth. If you suspect you’re toxic, then it’s very possible you are. Maybe you’re not a toxic person, but it’s possible that you’re exhibiting toxic traits that need to be managed.
Either way, something is going on that’s hindering you from being your best self.
How to Improve:A lot of the time people become toxic as a result of being hurt in the past, maybe by their parents, friends, or in romantic relationships. First, recognize the source (or sources) or your pain, acknowledge it, and then work on healing those parts.
Some people can do this on their own through self-help books, journaling or meditation, others may need to work with a therapist or coach. Either way, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge so stop sweeping it under the rug and just face it.
Take responsibility for what you can control. Just this alone will alleviate some of your toxicity! You can’t control other people or what happened in the past, you can only control yourself and how you react to things. You can control the meaning you ascribe to events. You can control how you interact with yourself and with others. So take ownership of those things.
Also, try and practice gratitude. Yes I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s very hard to be bitter and mean and angry when you’re coming from a place of gratitude. Chances are, when you take a closer look at your life you’ll realize it’s not so bad and you actually do have a lot to be thankful for.
Start small and try to just acknowledge one thing you’re grateful for each day. It’s even better if you write it down and also if you come up with something new every day.
In a move very like the streaming giant, Netflix has canceled yet another popular show. This time on the chopping block is the popular mystery sci-fi show 1899. It swiftly became the most-watched Netflix show after its release. And yet…co-creator Baran bo Odar revealed on his Instagram January 2, 2023 that Netflix wouldn’t be renewing the show for a second season.
“With a heavy heart we have to tell you that 1899 will not be renewed. We would have loved to finish this incredible journey with a 2nd and 3rd season as we did with Dark. But sometimes things don’t turn out the way you planned.”
– Baran bo Odar @baranboodar
Now 1899 can join recent sci-fi mysteries to be canceled by Netflix, like the popular Archive 81. If you’re reeling at the news that your new favorite mystery isn’t getting a proper ending, we get it. While you quietly seethe at Netflix, there are shows like 1899 you could be watching, too–dark stories and compelling mysteries that already got their official endings. Power-watch these streaming shows as you sign this petition to get 1899 its proper ending.
Liked 1899? Here’s what to stream next.Dark (Netflix)
NetflixIf you loved 1899, you hopefully haven’t slept on Dark (2017-2020). Made by the same co-creators, Baran bo Odar and Jantje Friese, it follows an otherwise normal-seeming German town and its inhabitants as a group of local teens discover a weird cave. There’s time travel, there’s dark vibes, and there are countless comparisons calling it the “German Stranger Things.” Unlike 1899, Dark got a full run with three seasons and a finished ending.
Lost (Hulu and FreeVee)ABCThe epitome of the sci-fi mystery show, Lost (2004-2010) kept viewers guessing right to the end of its six-season run. (And for some, they’re still guessing on some of the islands mysteries to this day.) It begins with the passengers of failed Oceanic flight 815 crash-landing on a seemingly deserted tropical island. But things are never what the seem–something an 1899 fan might appreciate.
The Leftovers (HBO Max)HBO Entertainment / Warner Bros. TelevisionAfter 140 million people vanish simultaneously, it’s the people that are left over that have to deal with possibly never finding an answer to the biggest question: “Why.” If you like dark shows that focus on what people do in tough situations, The Leftovers (2014-2017) could scratch that itch. In addition to having a full ending with its third and final season, The Leftovers is acclaimed for having a satisfying and well-done finale–something so many other shows can’t claim.
Fringe (HBO Max and FreeVee)Warner Bros. TelevisionTake The X-Files and put it in the hands of J.J. Abrams, creator of Lost, and what do you get? Fringe (2008-2013) is a sci-fi mystery show with a monster-of-the-week format and an over-arching plot that’ll keep you invested in the characters. The lore is intricate and dense, perfect for people who like to puzzle over their binge-of-choice. Although it was a victim of a terrible timeslot when it was first airing, Fringe still got an official ending with its fifth and final season. Even nearly a decade later, this is still an all-time favorite for many.
True Detective (HBO Max)HBO EntertainmentIf you’re more in it for the sweeping mystery than the sci-fi elements, direct your viewing attention to True Detective (2014-). Each of its three (and soon four) seasons is a complete encapsulated narrative so you can go into each one knowing that you’ll get the ending you deserve. The show is gritty with Oscar-leveling acting and sometimes devastating conclusions. If you’ve got a free night or two, do yourself a favor and watch the first season featuring Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson.
Stranger Things (Netflix)NetflixNot all Netflix shows get canceled without a second thought. The streaming giant’s flagship show, Stranger Things (2016-), is currently filming the fifth and final season, so get ready for a completed narrative. And really, how could we not watch these poor Hawkins teens as they hopefully defeat Vecna and save the world? If you like to analyze shows up and down–and sob over your favorite characters having tragic endings–join the rest of the rabid audience as they pore over every detail.
Warehouse 13 (Peacock and FreeVee)NBC UniversalA pair of secret service agents gets tasked with finding the world’s oddest objects so they can be safely kept in the hidden Warehouse 13. Unlike the other shows on this list, Warehouse 13 (2009-2014) injects humor into its sci-fi mystery storyline. Its as if The X-Files and Supernatural got married and had a funny baby. It went through five full seasons and often has lore crossover with another of Syfy Network’s beloved shows, Eureka.
Manifest (Netflix)NetflixA group of people board a plane only to get off five years in the future, setting off an epic mystery of where they went and why. Manifest (2018-) is an example of a show that was saved after being canceled. Originally airing on NBC, the network unceremoniously canceled the show after the third season’s cliffhanger. A public outcry caused Netflix to buy the rights and they’re currently working on the fourth season. Perhaps 1899 will have the same positive fate?
The X-Files (Hulu and FreeVee)20th Century FoxYou really can’t beat The X-Files (1993-2018), a sci-fi classic. Skeptical FBI agent Dana Scully is tasked with accompanying kooky agent Fox Mulder as he leads her from one paranormal case to the next. It isn’t just a monster-of-the-week, it’s a layered mystery that gets peeled back little by little with every season. It originally found its finale in 2002, but got picked up for two more seasons from 2016 to 2018. There are over 200 episodes and two movies for you to obsess over along with generations of diehard fans.
Here is a common relationship misconception: A lot of people believe they will get what they give. So you invest in him with your whole heart, you prioritize him, you give it your all, and you expect that he’ll do the same… but usually, the opposite happens. He continues to throw bare minimum scraps your way and you cling to them desperately, hoping that one day he’ll give you something a little more hearty.
You end up in a lopsided relationship where you’re doing all the work and you are just way more in it than he is. You want it to work with him, but you also want to be treated like a priority instead of an afterthought.
So let’s talk about what that entails.
First, let’s talk about some signs that you aren’t his priority.
Why You Aren’t His Priority1. He’s in and out of your life.Maybe you call this being wishy-washy or hot and cold or sending mixed messages, either way, the message is clear: you’re not his priority.
One of the most definitive signs a man really likes a woman and is invested in her is he’s consistent. He doesn’t leave any open space for some other guy to steal her away, or for her to question how he feels and move on.
2. He doesn’t make plans in advance.If you try to make a plan with him he won’t give you a definitive answer and he frequently makes plans with you last minute. He’s probably just exploring other options and when nothing better presents itself, he’s wide open and ready for you.
3. You’re doing all the work.You mostly initiate calls and texts, you come up with fun date ideas, you’re doing it all and he’s just along for the ride.
4. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship.Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone right now, maybe he just doesn’t want a relationship with you, but if he says this, just take it at face value. It’s possible he does really like you, he just has so much else going on that he has nothing to give. Don’t devalue yourself by accepting the bare minimum.
5. He doesn’t do anything to make you feel special.If he doesn’t really do much aside from showing up and going through the motions, then he isn’t invested or prioritizing you.
So what now? You realized you’re an option and you want to be a priority. How can you turn the tables?
Turn the Tables1. Don’t be afraid to leave.What keeps us in relationships that are beneath us is fear. Maybe fear of being alone… fear you won’t find better … fear of making the wrong choice…
You need to silently carry the conviction that if this relationship doesn’t match your standards, you will leave. And you are not afraid of leaving because you know you’ll find better. And if you don’t feel this way, you need to get to the root of the self-esteem issues driving this behavior.
If a man knows you’re not going anywhere, then he’s not motivated to give you that priority treatment. That’s just human behavior. We want maximum reward for minimum effort. You’re giving the reward, and he’s giving the minimum effort.
You need to set your intention. Figure out what it is you want, recognize you deserve to have it, and stop settling for what falls short.
2. Establish depth of connection.One main area men look at when at in deciding whether you’re “just a girl” or “the girl” comes down to depth of connection.
What blocks you from having this is our good old friend Fear again. When you’re afraid of losing him or of him leaving you, then you are in this hypervigilant mode of looking for signs and analyzing behaviors and you just can’t connect this way.
When your sense of self-esteem is shaky, then you will be interacting with him like an object instead of a person, he is there to fill your self-esteem tank, to help you feel worthy and validated. Again, you can’t connect this way.
The way to form a true connection is to just be present and to just be. You have to let go of your fears because if you are afraid of being hurt, you won’t be able to be truly vulnerable and open.
Here is how to know if you have a depth of connection:
- He talks to you about his problems and the stresses he deals with, he doesn’t hide behind a “got-it-all-together” persona.
- He shows his real emotions.
- You know things about him that no one else does, things you can’t discover on his social media pages.
- He has immersed you in his life and immersed himself in yours. He doesn’t just want you to meet his friends and family, he wants you to bond with them in a meaningful way. And he makes an effort to bond with your people in a meaningful way.
- He talks about the future with you in a real, concrete way- not just making abstract, fantasy-fueled plans,
It really comes down to this: is he his full, true, authentic self with you?
If he’s not, then work on dropping your guard a bit, releasing your fears, and just focusing on the connection.
3. Let him know what it is you want!So many women are afraid to speak up and express their needs for fear of coming across too needy.
But here’s the thing- owning what you want isn’t neediness. Accepting what you don’t want for fear of rocking the boat is needy behavior. Neediness is valuing someone else’s perception of you over your own. So the needy person desperately needs their partner to respond a certain way, otherwise, they will suffer. They are on an endless quest for validation but it’s never enough.
If you want certain things from him, try just telling him. It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it that makes a difference.
If you need him to plan dates in advance, then tell him. Don’t do it in a shaming, demanding, blaming way, just confidently express that’s something you need.
You also have a right to know where your relationship stands, so stop being so afraid of rocking the boat. If he’s been intentionally leaving things vague and undefined, and what you want is a commitment, then express that to him and don’t accept his non-answers abut the status of your relationship. And don’t delude yourself either, if he’s leaving things vague, it’s because he wants to have that freedom to do what he wants without technically doing anything wrong.
If expressing your needs makes you anxious or nervous, then look at that a little closer. Is it coming from you, or do you know deep down that he just isn’t on the same page as you and you’re scared to hear it from his mouth and eliminate all doubt?
Remember, if you have to monitor your behavior around a guy so carefully, he probably isn’t the right guy for you
4. Pull back.If you aren’t being treated like a priority, sometimes all it takes is pulling back a bit in order to galvanize his interest and get him to step up once again.
Pulling back is especially important if the dynamic in your relationship is one where you’re doing all the work. You’ve been initiating most of the texts and most of the plans.
Just step back a bit and see what happens. If he really likes you, he’s not going to just let you fade into the abyss, he will step up!
I’m not saying be mean or punishing. Just focus on yourself a little more and focus on him a less and see what happens.
5. Don’t commit to him until he has committed to you.This is probably one of the most essential relationship rules, at least in the early phases before things are defined. Committing yourself to him too soon will throw the dynamic off and it’s not going to get you the commitment you want.
Don’t act like his girlfriend until you are his girlfriend. Don’t close yourself off from other prospects, and don’t delete your dating apps. Keep yourself open to other possibilities. This will just help you have a more relaxed attitude about the whole thing and he will sense that he doesn’t fully have you and could potentially lose you which will motivate him to give you that priority treatment (and commitment, soon after!).
6. Prioritize yourself.You do not become a priority to him by making him your priority, you get it by prioritizing yourself!
There is nothing interesting about someone who is always available and waiting in the wings. It’s also not interesting when he is the best thing you have going on in your life. You should make an effort to have a full, fulfilling, well-rounded life with many sources of happiness.
Don’t wait for him to put you first. Make your happiness your priority and fill your time with things that bring you joy. When you do, he will most likely rise up to match. And if he doesn’t, he was never into it enough in the first place.
Relationships fall apart all the time for various reasons — cheating, jealousy, distance, or sometimes it just isn’t a match. Sometimes, things are beyond our control. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right, sometimes we just can’t make it work because there is too much fundamental incompatibility.
But other times, it is under our control. We can choose how we show up in our relationships. And this makes a difference in whether it thrives or implodes.
Let’s look at the most common ways people destroy their relationships and how to avoid them.
1. You don’t communicate.Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, we’ve all heard this one before. But how many of us make it a priority to truly connect with our partner?
In this day and age of digital devices, it’s just so easy to get lost in that and real-life relationships take a backseat. Next time you go out look around at how many couples or groups of friends are sitting together and all just looking at their phones. ‘
It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and the grind of everyday life, but you have to make it a priority to actually talk to each other.
Communication plays an even more vital role when conflicts arise, which they inevitably will even in the best relationships.
It’s hard to have those honest, uncomfortable conversations because they bring up all sorts of unpleasant feelings we don’t want to feel but if you don’t talk about it, then the problems will persist and resentment will start to build.
Healthy communication can be challenging if you grew up in a home with unhealthy communication. You may find that you get overly defensive, you stonewall or shut down, you ice him out, or maybe you get extremely combative. All of these are unhealthy coping mechanisms being activated by a triggering situation, and a simple argument can be highly triggering for certain people.
When you feel those defenses going up, recognize that this is your “Protector” coming to save you. This “Protector” played a vital role when you were younger and didn’t have many skills. But you’re an adult now and you can cope in healthier ways so just ask her to step aside so you can do that.
Awareness is the first step. So just be aware of your weak spots and work on strengthening those communication skills.
2. Lack of empathy.This is a tough one because it’s very easy to get caught up in our own experience of the relationship. It’s easy to feel like we’re the victim and it’s unfair and we’re right and he’s wrong and we’re doing everything in this relationship and getting nothing back.
I know it can feel that way in the heat of the moment, but it’s important to step back and look at your partner with more empathetic eyes. I’m not saying your hurt isn’t valid, but it won’t get you anywhere to blame him fully, he’ll just get defensive and the conversation won’t go anywhere. (And it goes without saying your partner should also activate his empathy and try to see things from your perspective).
When you can’t see his perspective, then he doesn’t feel heard and when and this will cause a breakdown in communication which will create distance between you, and the more distance there is, the less intimacy there is.
3. Too much criticism.Why do we do this? We hate being criticized but sometimes just can’t help but do it to our partners.
It doesn’t motivate him to change and instead makes him resentful and annoyed and even less likely to do what you want.
It also creates a parent/child dynamic, where you’re his mother scolding him, and there is nothing less sexy than that.
If you are overly critical, then look deeper into where that comes from. Usually, the thing we’re most critical about in others is what we are most critical about in ourselves.
Take a look at what’s really bothering you.
Maybe you’re criticizing him for the way he folded the laundry but really, you just feel out of control in your life, like nothing is quite right. Maybe you don’t feel heard. Maybe you feel resentment toward him for not meeting certain needs and instead and it manifests as criticism.
And yes, sometimes we have valid critiques and it’s fine to bring issues up, just make sure you’re doing it in a respectful, compassionate way.
4. Being Deceptive.There is never a good reason to be sneaky in your relationship. If you feel this need, ask yourself why.
Do you think you’re partner will get angry? Are you trying to present yourself in a certain light and you’re afraid your real self won’t be good enough?
Trust is everything. If you can’t trust him and he can’t trust you, what are we even doing here?
5. No respect.Dr. John Gottman, the guy famous for being able to predict whether a couple will divorce with 90% accuracy, cites contempt as one of the leading factors of whether a relationship will fall apart. And of the greatest indicators of that in his research is eye-rolling.
Contempt conveys “I’m better than you, I don’t respect you and I’m just going to roll my eyes at everything you say because I find it so stupid.”
Mocking your partner and being sarcastic, and not in a playful way, are also signs of contempt.
Contempt can be the result of resentment that went unchecked for way too long.
And I always say resentment is poison for a relationship. Once it creeps in, it festers and soon enough you can’t find any positive qualities about your partner anymore.
If you can’t respect him, you need to ask yourself why. Do you really think he’s just an idiot? If so, why are you with him? Or, are you just trying to protect yourself and self-sabotaging? Or are you angry over things that happened with him in the past that you never addressed?
6. Being too sensitive and insecure.I’m not saying never get upset when your partner says or does something hurtful, but it’s important to step back sometimes and look at where that hurt is really coming from
We all have sore spots- we all have old wounds that never fully healed and sometimes someone can say something innocent but it just presses on that raw space and we have an extreme reaction.
A lot of the time, those are our own insecurities, it’s how we already felt about ourselves but we blame our partner for “making” us feel a certain way.
For example, if you go to cut yourself a second piece of cake and he asks- are you sure you want that? And you get hysterical and think he’s calling you fat. I chose that as an example because that happened to me a long time ago with a boyfriend. The fact is, I felt insecure in the relationship and like most girls, I was chronically insecure about my body- so when he made that comment, my mind immediately went to “he thinks I’m fat and he’s not attracted to me.”
Your insecurities can really ruin a relationship if you let them run rampant, so just check yourself and see where your feelings are truly coming from
7. Setting him up to fail.Don’t expect him to read your mind and know what you want and how you want it. If you want a happy relationship, set your partner up to win.
Just be direct, don’t drop hints and then get angry when he doesn’t pick up on them.
If you want him to plan something special for your anniversary, just tell him that! Yes, I know it would be more romantic if he could just intuit exactly what it is you want but he can’t! So just tell him instead of getting upset on the day of.
If you give him directions on how to make you happy, he will! (As long as it’s done in a kind way, not a shaming way).
8. Expecting your partner to fill a void.Another person cannot repair what’s broken inside you. It might feel like you’ll be all whole and healed from your past trauma once you find someone who loves you enough, but there is no such thing as enough when you have that void because it can never be filled by someone else.
If you outsource the task of being “whole” to your partner then you will never be satisfied and you will resent him for not giving you this thing when really, only you can give it to yourself.
Love won’t heal you and it won’t erase your past pains and trauma. Conversely, love will bring up all that is unloved within you. Whatever it is you haven’t dealt with will keep coming up again and again.
9. Having an agenda.This is a mistake that usually kills a budding relationship but can also harm an established one. Having an agenda means you want to push the relationship in a certain direction in order to feel good about yourself.
If you’re in the early phases of dating, you may feel this overwhelming need to become official, and you measure all of your interactions in terms of whether they’re taking you closer to or further from that goal. It’s not just about wanting the relationship because you really like this other person and want to create a meaningful partnership, it’s about what it will mean to you and about you. You attach a certain meaning onto having this thing — it will mean you’re worthy, you’re OK, you won’t end up alone, etc.
10. Avoiding confrontation.Happy couples aren’t couples who never fight, they just don’t fight dirty. Arguements can actually be healthy and are a chance to grow as a couple, but only if you use them to reach a resolution.
If you’re having problems, nothing will change if you ignore it. Rather, you’ll end up becoming bitter and resentful and this will poison your relationship.
Avoiding confrontation can also cause you to act passive aggressive and this never takes things in a positive direction!
The way to prevent most of these destructive behaviors is to just have self-awareness. Look at what you’re bringing to the interaction (because you are the only person that you have full control over), and if they are helping or harming the state of your relationship.
Relationships are often one of the biggest struggles among people living with HIV. No matter what the situation is, starting or maintaining a relationship after an HIV diagnosis can be a challenge.
I’ve been married since 2018, and I was living my best life when I started to feel sick. I had several episodes of fever that would come and go, visited many doctors who would run blood work on me with a normal result, and told me to wait for a result of “the flu” or something similar to come. I spent a full year experiencing different symptoms that could be of pretty much anything. It was only at the beginning of 2020 when I was extremely ill, weak, full of skin rashes, had lost several kilos and hair, and had trouble breathing and moving, that I was taken to a hospital where a doctor finally suggested an HIV test.
I was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS, already in the late stages with opportunistic infections taking over my lungs, eyes, spine, and skin, and had to be admitted to the hospital to start treatment immediately.
I don’t need to tell you how huge that shock was. I had never considered being infected with HIV. I had been very careful with my sexual life and did not engage in sex with people I didn’t know well – or so I thought.
For my husband, it was an equal if not bigger shock. I was awfully weak and could barely react to the news. I had all the hospital staff, my family, and him supporting me while he had to deal with the news alone at home, afraid of sharing it with anybody, not knowing what our lives would be, not even knowing if I was going to survive.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Maya | HIV advocate (@positivetalkwithmaya)
My husband tested negative. That was a surprise, as none of us knew this was even possible. Only then we learned that not only it can happen, but that it happens very often. The transmission of HIV in a sexual act between a man and a woman when the woman is the one with the virus is a lot less probable than the opposite.
I spent 28 days in the hospital, and when I was admitted, both my husband and I were told by the doctors that my health condition was wretched and that we should be prepared for the worst. They told me to talk to my family and be ready to say goodbye. My husband visited me every single day and I was in constant contact with my family, who live in my home country.
My body reacted beautifully to treatment, and I was able to go home and continue what I was doing in the hospital. That meant taking the medication for all the opportunistic infections I was treating, for HIV, eating well, sleeping well, not going outside for no reason, and attending every health check and doctor’s appointment I had – and there were plenty.
On the way home, I had the opportunity to be alone with my husband for the first time since my diagnosis, and I could ask him how he was feeling about it. I asked him if he would want to break up, and I would understand if it was the case. He told me that there was no way he would leave me, we were married “in health and sickness” and he wanted to stay with me. His support was of fundamental importance for my treatment to succeed, there was a lot to process, and a breakup at that point in my life would annihilate my strength.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the same experience.
I have noticed, after publicly disclosing my status and having the opportunity to meet people living with HIV from all over the world, that there are all sorts of reactions from partners when their loved ones are diagnosed with HIV.
I have noticed that most partners stay, but there are also the ones who abandon, who reject, bully, accuse, hurt, and make things a lot worse.
What you need to remember is that nobody gets infected with HIV on purpose. An HIV infection can happen to anyone. Any person, living an active, sexual life, is at risk of getting infected. That includes you, your relatives, your neighbors, and perhaps your parents.
The worse thing about HIV nowadays is stigma. It makes people isolate themselves, discourages treatment, it causes horrible feelings, shame, and guilt. There is an effective treatment for HIV, but the stigma still has the power to kill. Handling the news of an HIV diagnosis is already very hard, there is a lot to process, and many mental adjustments to be made. Imagine having to deal with the person you love to be one of the stigmatizing people, to turn what happened to you into something you should be blamed for, should be ashamed of.
It is a different, yet quite similarly arduous challenge for the ones who are single when they get diagnosed with HIV. One universal reaction among all of us who hear this diagnosis is to question everything. How will life be, how will work be, how will social life be, friendship, and the question that demands more time and consideration, how will relationships be?
I am often approached by people with this concern, they are living with HIV and keep their status a secret (as it is their right) and they are falling in love with someone, the feeling is reciprocal, and they want to tell the other person but don’t know how. As this wasn’t my personal experience, I started making research to find out what is the best way to make this communication, and this is what I found out: The best strategy is to probe the partner’s knowledge about HIV, to find out what they already know. Pull the subject up out of nowhere, use a “friend” as an example, and talk about the subject to understand the grounds.
Then, slowly start dropping important information, such as U=U, asking something like “do you know that a person living with HIV following effective treatment becomes untransmittable?” It means that when the blood test cannot detect that viral load in that person’s blood, that person is considered undetectable and after a few months, this person does not transmit the virus sexually anymore, even without a condom. They can have babies if they want, that will be born without the virus.
Talk about the fact that treatment for HIV nowadays is so effective that it gives people the same life expectancy as someone who does not have the virus. Talk about the fact that a person living with HIV can live everyday life, that HIV became a chronic condition, just like diabetes, that only requires daily medication and self-love.
When the partner seems to be interested and reacting well to the talk, you tell.
This kind of communication will always be scary, as we never know what the reaction will be. No one wants to be rejected, and it’s a human condition to be afraid of getting hurt. But opening up about the HIV status when it’s something you want to do is extremely important. It shows that you care, that you are committed to the feelings you have for that person, to yourself, to your treatment, and that you would never put the other person’s health at risk.
And I am very pleased to tell you that most people react kindly and positively to the news. When there is a deeper feeling involved, they tend to hear, support, to navigate that journey together.
If they don’t, you know it’s someone you should not have in your life.
We are living in an era where there are options to prevent HIV infection, we have a pre-exposure prophylaxis called PrEP, being either pill taken daily, by demand, or injected. We have PEP, post-exposure prophylaxis that has to be started in the first 72 hours of the exposure (for PrEP and PEP you need a doctor’s assessment and prescription), we have condoms, that should be a norm as they not only prevent HIV but also most of the other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), and we also have HIV testing and HIV treatment, being part of the prevention methods as they stop the infection chain. Still, an infection with HIV can happen.
We are living in an era where treatment for HIV is so effective that life continuous normal, a person living with HIV can do pretty much everything a person who does not have the virus can, except for donating blood, and breastfeeding.
It is unacceptable that people insist to be in a place where they think they can judge someone for having been infected with a virus they are also prone to.
People who insist to stigmatize HIV are lacking information, lacking orientation, lacking education, and ignore all the facts that are easily seen around them. These are not the people you should let have the power to hurt you.
Among the many ways that living with a chronic illness can impact your self esteem, one of my biggest insecurities as an adolescent was my type 1 diabetes. When I was diagnosed at age 10, I heard the doctors mention diabetes and thought, You mean the old person’s disease? I was so worried about my peers not understanding why I needed to inject myself with insulin, or stop to prick my finger that I constantly felt like the odd one out. Once I entered my teenage years and began to develop crushes on boys, I would either try to hide my diabetes completely, or communicate that it was no big deal in fear that my chronic illness would hinder my chance at love.
Now I realize this can seem a little silly because good people in the world will love you no matter what characteristics you have, but feeling different from people with a working pancreas can impact your confidence level immensely, especially in your younger years.
As the years went by and my personal diabetes advocacy had grown, dating seemed to get better. I was more up front about the ramifications of my disease, without being overly explanatory, understanding that my audience probably wasn’t aware of the ins and outs of this illness and that it wasn’t something that needed to take up too much oxygen on a first date. I also grew my self confidence since adolescence, which allowed me to see my diabetes more as a characteristic of my life, rather than a storyline. This disease may be a part of my life, but it doesn’t define who I am as a person or what I bring to the table in any relationship, job, or situation.
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This is the approach I took when meeting my now husband for the first time. On our very first date, sitting down for sushi, I casually said to him, “By the way, I have type 1 diabetes”, while testing my blood sugar before we ate. I gave a quick synopsis of my disease and was pleased that he didn’t have any issues with being on a date with someone who had a medical concern. He also didn’t make any comments about a distant relative who had died from diabetes which is always a plus!
As our relationship grew, and Adam learned more about my chronic illness, he has shown great care, support, and never made me feel less than for having a lazy pancreas. He knows that some nights will involve less sleep than others, and that there will always be situations that require a little more care.
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Diabetes certainly does add another layer to dating, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be a negative one. There will always be someone out there that has the patience and understanding that taking care of yourself and your sugars will always be top of mind no matter what. If someone doesn’t have the patience to learn about your condition or suggests you risk your own health for their comfort, they are not worth your time.
At the end of the day, find someone who is always willing to fill you a cup of oj.
Writer’s note: Type 1 Diabetes is an autoimmune disease that occurs when the immune system cells begin to attack and destroy the insulin-producing cells in the body, resulting in uncontrolled blood sugars that must be managed with with insulin. Type 1 Diabetes is not caused by eating too much sugar and there is currently no cure.
Writer and Director Rian Johnson has once again reinvigorated the sparsely populated murder mystery genre with his latest installment of the Benoit Blanc franchise.
The biggest problem with the Knives Out films is that we as an audience have to wait too long between chapters. With broad influences from the collective works of Agatha Christie to films like Murder By Death, Clue, and The Thin Man; Johnson brings a much needed dose of modernity and comedy to his brand.
Glass Onion is in many ways, a classic murder mystery. It is only intriguing to watch if the setting is exotic and the participants are wealthy. In the movie world, poor people just don’t get renown detectives on their cases. To that point the film leans into the absurdity of its wealth and location. The Glass Onion itself is a new monied, wet dream. It’s the name of a compound on a private Greek island, that is all things tech bro meets bond villain. The island is owned by Miles Bron; an app billionaire who flaunts his money and buys personality through overpriced pop art and unnecessarily gaudy innovation. The island and mansion that the film primarily take place in, play as much of a part in the story as any cast member.
The initial hook of the film is mildly intriguing as a handful of seemingly unconnected elites receive mystery boxes containing elaborate puzzles that ultimately invite them to an annual gathering. While the setup is novel, the numerous puzzles are all solved too quickly and without audience participation. At this early point the film nearly loses its audience until Janelle Monae shows up and takes a hammer to her box to open it. She’s a great representation of the film itself; taking predictable puzzle solving story and smashing it to pull the audience in.
The invitations inside the aforementioned boxes are specifically for a group known as the “disruptors”. A once poor, collection of aspiring business persons who have all succeeded and now assemble once a year at the behest of their wealthiest friend, billionaire Miles. This year’s gathering is special. He is throwing a murder mystery weekend event where Miles’ friends will have to figure out who killed him in a very elaborate and expensively designed party game that only stupid money could buy.
Five invitations are sent out, yet six guests (aside from a girlfriend and personal assistant) arrive. The extra invitee is the world’s greatest detective Benoit Blanc, who has somehow also received a boxed puzzle, despite Miles specifically creating only five. Why is Blanc there and who invited him? Will there be an actual murder or is this part of a rich man’s game?
It’s a solid setup that is not afraid to poke fun at itself. It constantly treads between vintage ageless detective story and modern celebrity influencer culture, dropping names and fake brands like Jared Leto’s hard kombucha, a boat dock designed by Banksy, and a never overused Jeremy Renner’s hot sauce.
Without unraveling the yarn and giving away the twists of the film, (which is the point of watching any whodunnit) let’s break down what worked and didn’t.
The characters of this iteration of Knives Out feel less developed than the previous installment. Much improved is Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc who has a firmer grasp on his southern draw and somehow works far better this time as a young man acting like an elderly gentleman, a generation his senior. Whether he swims in a full suit or wears a neck kerchief like a frail octogenarian despite being obviously jacked, it plays well with his character and flows seamlessly. Blanc is more than the glue of the film, he is the comedic beat and pacing that provide the baseline for the franchise. On this memorable character alone, we can see why Netflix has purchased multiple installments. Critics like to justifiably give Craig the Foghorn Leghorn stigma but say what you want, it’s successful. He’s captivating and likable.
Equally memorable is Ed Norton as Miles Bron. Whether it’s the brilliance of Norton’s acting or the fact that you’ll rarely heard a kind word spoken of him in Hollywood circles, he plays a great antagonist. Everyone on screen and in the audience is dying to punch him square in the face in every scene. Is he even acting or did he just show up and start riffing? With Norton’s depth of skill it is often hard to tell, but likewise he plays a brilliant part in the film as the out of touch, self righteous and obliviously rich douche.
The brightest star in this film is that of Janelle Monae. Not only is her character easily the most developed but she carries the second act nearly on her own as the plot takes a hard twist and pulls the viewer directly out of the storyline. While this is the slowest part of the film that should have been trimmed down, Monae gives her role depth and charisma to gracefully steal the entire midsection from Craig and become the most watchable member of the ensemble.
Unfortunately, the other cast members with their usual on screen personalities are not allowed to shine here. Their talents are all but wasted in Glass Onion. Katherine Hahn as a hungry and desperate politician has very little comedic wallop and one liners other than reactive expressions. Dave Bautista as an über macho social media influencer also gets few punchlines and is more of a physical presence as is his girlfriend Whiskey, played by Madelyn Cline.
Tony and Grammy winner Leslie Odom Jr. skillset is completely boxed in as a scientist with little dialogue and even less motive to be on the island as one of the “disruptors”. The only other actor given moments to flex was Kate Hudson who plays a politically incorrect ditz and leisurewear millionaire. The continuing fun of the film’s plot makes her part work as it pokes fake fun at her real world brand, Fabletics and channels her Goldie Hawn genetics to be quite likable even in her horridness.
In defense of Rian Johnson, it is not easy to have a paced, three act mystery while also giving enough backstory and screen time to eight distinctly different characters. That said, the move is more than long enough to have done that and the on screen talent aside from Craig, Norton, and Monae was present but ultimately unused.
What is very appreciated is the look and overall direction of this film. The set design and coloring of Glass Onion are excellent. They bring the crisp, modern freshness of cutting edge technology and wealth to the few rooms and set pieces where the majority of the film take place. They keep the film bright and sexy as do the vivid costuming of the characters, enough for this to feel like a romantic throwback despite being present day. Kudos to the art department and costume designer. Whether its the hilarious vibrant artwork, beautiful wardrobe, or stylish modernity of the Onion itself, the look of this film is absolute eye candy. Reds pop, everyone is glowing and there isn’t anything that isn’t passionately illuminated.
Ultimately, the twists and turns of Glass Onion deliver as they should. The audience is involved immediately and are all expected to take their guesses as to who did what and why. There are non linear breaks in the film that do slow it down but give it some extra depth and backstory that bolster the final act for a satisfying reveal. The climax has a poppy kick and certainly pays off far better than that of the remake of “Murder on the Orient Express” or “Death On the Nile”. While the big twist isn’t quite on the level as that of the first Knives Out, it is good fun and delivers with far greater energy than that of its predecessor.
Many will call this a run of the mill murder mystery that might be ultimately forgotten in decades to come, but we must look at it through the lens of being created to be nearly free for viewers on Netflix. In that regard I absolutely applaud it. For the ability to plug in, be engrossed and entertained with something different for a few hours, I hope Netflix green lights a dozen more of these. Benoit Blanc is good fun and these mystery films are water cooler murder meets pandemic escapism at its best. Thanks Rian and keep em’ coming.
Ah, Christmas—it’s one of the most romantic times of the year, probably because the twinkling lights and snowy nights have a way of feeling magical. It’s also the best time of year to watch a variety of rom coms, if only because there are so, so many holiday movies that cater specifically to the hopeless romantics in us. So if you’re someone who’s in love with love, you won’t want to miss these movies and TV shows this year—here’s our guide for what to watch, based on the kind of hopeless romantic you are.
For the hopeless romantic who’s exhausted of modern dating.Watch: Home for Christmas, streaming on Netflix
Home For Christmas is a Norwegian Christmas rom com following Johanne, the only single sibling left of a large family who’s always stuck sitting at the kid’s table during the holidays. When her family begins to pressure her to be in a relationship, Johanne lies that she has a boyfriend and agrees to bring him to Christmas dinner. Cue Johanne’s panic over finding a date, which leads her to try speed dating, online dating, and a bunch of other modern methods that so many people turn to when looking for a significant other. Home For Christmas really nails how exhausting (and sometimes horrifying) modern dating really is while still giving us hope that somewhere out there, love is waiting for us.
For the hopeless romantic whose favorite dating trope is friends to lovers.Watch: The Holiday Calendar, streaming on Netflix
While When Harry Met Sally may have some good New Year’s vibes near the end, The Holiday Calendar is all about trying to find love during the Christmas season—and realizing that maybe the right person for you has been there all along. The Holiday Calendar stars Kat Graham as Abby Sutton, who receives a seemingly magical advent calendar for her grandfather. Every morning, the calendar opens to reveal a small toy that predicts something that happens later in the day—and all these events seemingly lead her to the handsome stranger Ty. But it’s Abby’s best friend Josh who really steals our hearts, because even as Abby is swept up in new romance, nothing is sweeter than the person who is there for you through it all.
For the hopeless romantic who prefers a whimsical love.Watch: Elf, streaming on HBO Max
Look, I know Elf is not primarily a rom com, but it does have a very sweet love story wrapped inside of all the other funny moments that keep us coming back to watch it every year. Not only is it the heartwarming story of a son who finally gets to reconnect with his estranged father, but it’s also an extremely sweet love story between Buddy the Elf and Jovie, the cynical retail worker who opens her heart to Buddy’s childlike wonder. Elf is a great reminder about how simple love can be if you let it—and how fun and childlike we can become when we know we’ve found the one.
For the hopeless romantic who loves a rom com that’s heavier on the “com.”Watch: Love Hard, streaming on Netflix.
In this Netflix holiday film, Nina Dobrev plays Natalie Bauer, a New York-based dating columnist who always has the worst luck with men. After disaster date after disaster date, Natalie follows her friend’s advice and extends her Tinder search radius—and very soon matches with a man named Josh Lin. After spending a few weeks talking to him, she decides to surprise him in his hometown for Christmas, only to arrive at his house and realize he isn’t exactly who he claimed to be. While this movie still has some sweet moments, it definitely leans more into the comedy aspect, which makes for a particularly fun Christmas Eve viewing party.
For the hopeless romantic who gets nostalgic over the holidays.Watch: Love, Actually, streaming on Peacock
Truth be told, Love, Actually didn’t age all that well, which may put off newer viewers who want to give it a try. But for those of us who like to turn back to our favorite holiday movies again and again, Love, Actually is pretty much a classic. Rewatching it can feel like a tradition in itself, and the familiarity of it will remind you of all the other cozy Christmases of the past. If you haven’t rewatched it yet this year, this is your sign.
For the hopeless romantic who struggles with being single around the holidays.Watch: Single All The Way, streaming on Netflix
Being single around the holidays can suck—Single All The Way’s Peter knows that feeling well, since he’s always the single sibling at his family Christmas. In an attempt to keep his family from meddling in his love life, he convinces his best friend Nick to come home with him for the holidays—and to pretend to be his boyfriend. What Peter doesn’t expect is that this year, his mom plans to set him up with the seemingly perfect James—and what he really doesn’t expect is that even when he’s spending time with his dream guy, he can’t seem to stop thinking of Nick. Anyone who hates being single around the holidays will understand Peter’s frustrations with the situation, but it’s also a nice reminder that just because you always feel like you’re single doesn’t mean you always will be.
For the hopeless romantic who prefers a little extra drama (and yearning) in their romances.Watch: The Noel Diary, streaming on Netflix
The Noel Diary is set around Christmas, so you get all the fun wintry and holiday settings, but besides that, it doesn’t necessarily feel like a Christmas movie. That’s probably because the plot itself is pretty heavy: It follows novelist Jake Turner (played by Justin Hartley) who heads back to his late mother’s home to settle her estate. That’s where he meets Rachel, a mysterious woman who might be related to his tragic past whose on her own journey to uncover the truth about her mother. As the two work together to understand how their lives intertwined, they also bond over their shared grief and realize they may not be as alone as they feel in the world. The only problem? Rachel’s already engaged.
For the hopeless romantic who believes love transcends time.Watch: The Knight Before Christmas, streaming on Netflix
Let me be clear: This is definitely one of those Netflix films that feels a little Hallmark-y. It’s not meant to be super deep, but it’s sweet and just fantastical enough that it encapsulates the magic of the season. The movie follows Sir Cole, a knight from 1334, who runs into an old crone in the woods who magically transports him to 2019. That’s where he meets Vanessa Hudgins’s Brooke, a high school science teacher who believes Sir Cole is suffering from amnesia and delusions. She offers to let him stay with her until he can figure out how to get back home, unaware that he can’t do that unless he fulfills the old crone’s quest—but in the meantime, they bond over plenty of Christmas traditions, which is pretty cute.
For the hopeless romantic who knows that love comes in many forms—and they’re all equally beautiful.Watch: A Storm For Christmas, streaming on Netflix
This is another Norwegian Netflix show that doesn’t disappoint. The premise feels a bit like Love, Actually in that it revolves around a large cast of characters who are all spending the holiday stuck in an airport (thanks to a big storm) and whose lives seamlessly weave together as they pass the time and panic over their shared misfortune. But what’s so special about this show is that it’s full of all different kinds of love—the love between spouses, between parents and children, between strangers who bond over shared circumstances, between good samaritans and the people whose lives they touch in small but meaningful ways. This show is a great reminder to be good to your fellow human, because we never know what they may be going through, but we do know that our kindness and empathy can be more important than we ever fully realize.
Whether you have some time off and want to recharge by vegging on the couch, or you need a way to shut off your brain after days spent working or listening to family complain, you can always turn to movies and TV to help you cope. Whatever your mood, there’s something to watch. Look for your scenario below and you’ll find a movie and show to stream that you’ll love–and where you can find it. Don’t worry, you’ll get through this hectic holiday season relatively unscathed.
For When You Still Want To Be In The Holiday SpiritDash & Lily (Netflix)NetflixBased on a young adult novel by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, Dash & Lily follows cynical holidays-hater Dash as he finds a book of literary-themed dares among the shelves of the famous NYC bookstore, The Strand. He passes the book back and forth between he and mystery girl Lily as they get each other out of their Christmas comfort zones and in love with each other. It’s sweet, it’s cute, and it’s a must-rewatch for every holiday season.
Your Christmas or Mine? (Amazon Prime)AmazonNew this year, Your Christmas or Mine? finds new couple James and Hayley on the wrong trains. Now they must spend the holidays with each other’s families without the buffer of the other to help them navigate the sometimes odd and sometimes heartwarmingly hilarious antics that seem to plague every family for the holidays. If you’re a fan of Asa Butterfield in Sex Education, you’ll love this.
For When You Want To Believe In Love AgainModern Love (Amazon Prime)AmazonIt’s easy to grow cynical about love when you gauge romance based on rom-coms. Modern Love is a good antidote to that–an anthology based on real-life love stories originally published in The New York Times. Sure, some of the stories don’t necessarily have happy endings, but that’s life. It’s those little moments in between where we find our hearts full and our eyes filled with little cartoon hearts that makes us believe in love again.
Rosaline (Hulu)HuluRosaline follows the story of the woman Romeo left for Juliet. In the original Shakespearean source material, not much is known about poor jilted Rosaline’s fate beyond her unrequited love. This new hilarious reimagining of her story brings happy endings to everyone who deserves them. Though given an old-school setting fitting of a Romeo and Juliet spin-off, it has the humor that you’ll be quoting to your friends for months.
For When You Want To Feel All The FeelsThe Midnight Club (Netflix)NetflixMike Flanagan (The Haunting of Hill House, Midnight Mass) is known for blending spooky tales with deep emotions, and The Midnight Club is no exception. Based on the YA novel by Christopher Pike, it follows a group of terminally ill teens as they wile away their time at a hospice by telling each other scary stories. It should come as no surprise from a description like that, you’re about to be both scared out of your mind and reaching for tissues to blot away your anguished tears.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (Showtime)A24This was everyone’s favorite movie of 2022 for good reason. In addition to featuring some surreal plot points, from everything bagels to hot dog fingers, it’s the relationships between characters that makes Everything Everywhere All At Once so emotional. We can all relate to the generational trauma of mother-daughter relationships and even the thought of a life of endless taxes and laundry. If you’re down to be sad about literal rocks, then this is a good choice for your movie-watching holiday break.
For When You Just Need To Be Cheered UpHeartstopper (Netflix)NetflixNot every queer love story has to be tragic. Sometimes you just want to watch two people fall in love, and that’s what you get with Heartstopper. Based on a graphic novel/web comic, it follows teen boys Charlie and Nick as they become best friends and maybe more. While the boys aren’t without trials and tribulations, you can watch this while safe in the knowledge that you’ll feel overall heart-warmed and cheered-up.
The Lost City (Amazon Prime, Paramount Plus)Paramount PicturesSandra Bullock stars as an accomplished romance author and Channing Tatum is her stupidly handsome cover model. When she’s abducted to help find the lost city she writes about in her novels, he attempts to rescue her from harm (and Daniel Radcliffe). This one was a sleeper hit of 2022, surprising audiences with how fun, sincere, and romantic this adventure is. If you feel stuck at home for the holidays, it might just make you feel like you’re out on an adventure–at least a little.
For When You Want To Distract Your BrainThe White Lotus (HBO Max)HBO EntertainmentIt’s a week in the life of vacationers at the White Lotus Resorts. At first glance, there’s just some light drama and fun in the sun, but as their vacations go on, darkness follows the staff and guests. Each season–the first set in Hawaii and the second in Sicily–is encapsulated with all new stories. If you’re down for some heavy and oft-dark character development (or just a fun time with Aubrey Plaza and Jennifer Coolidge) this is for you.
The Glass Onion (Netflix)NetflixIf you loved Knives Out, get ready for the sequel. The Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery follows everyone’s favorite southern detective, Benoit Blanc, as he attempts to hilariously solve yet another mystery. While you won’t have any of your previous favorites, like Ana de Armas or Chris Evans, there’s an all new cast to mistrust and accuse.
For When You Want Something FamiliarBrooklyn Nine-Nine (Peacock)NBC UniversalThere’s nothing like the mood-booster of binging your favorite sitcoms for hours on end. While you could watch The Office or Friends for the millionth time, how about hanging with Jake Peralta and the rest of the Nine-Nine instead? It’s also nice to watch a police station full of loveable buffoons and cute couples rather than the more realistic alternative.
Mean Girls (Paramount Plus)Paramount PicturesIt doesn’t matter that this Lindsay Lohan classic is almost 20 years old–it honestly could have been made last year and still hits. The Plastics ruling the school is the kind of realism you might need right now. Do you identify with Gretchen Wieners? Cady Heron? Janis Ian? Glen Coco? You’re about to find your soul connection in these 97 pink-filled minutes.
For When You Want To Catch Up On What Everyone’s Talking AboutYellowjackets (Showtime)ShowtimeA ’90s high school soccer team’s on their way to a tournament in Seattle must find a way to survive when their plane crashes in Canada. And how are their present-day counterparts doing after enduring rough times so long ago? Get caught up on the thriller everyone’s talking about before the second season premiers on March 26, 2023.
The Worst Person in the World (Hulu)Oslo PicturesIf you’re on the film buff side of TikTok, you’ve likely heard of this Norwegian rom-com drama. It consistently makes it to the top of the best-of lists. It’s perfect for when you realize that you don’t actually have it all figured out in your 20s. And now when someone brings up this movie in casual conversation, you’ll actually be able to contribute.
So, you want to plan a party? Then you’re in the right place! The specifics of every party will be different, but they all follow the same general principles—at least, every good party does, and those are the only ones that matter.
Take a look at Paramount’s Babylon—every scene is outrageously wild, extravagant, and pretty much impossible to tear your eyes away from. And shouldn’t that be the point of every social gathering? Life is short, so make the most of it and prepare to throw the best damn party of the decade. (You can thank me for my service later!)
Bigger is always better.Look, I know we’ve all embraced minimalism at least a little over the past few years, either for ethical, aesthetic, or practical reasons. But here’s the thing: If you’re trying to throw the party of the year, you’ve got to lean into the extravagance of it all. Think about Babylon—a huge part of the appeal is the visuals, the way you don’t want to (and probably can’t) look away. And while we can’t all transport a literal live elephant to our houses like the movie, that doesn’t mean you should give up and think small. While I thoroughly believe that the more intricate, the better, you can still keep things interesting in simpler ways: fill the room with balloons, set up shiny decorations meant to catch the light, break out your most interesting drinkware, and add some fun props throughout the party. If people are taking pictures so they can show people later, you know you did well.
Make drinking fun again.Speaking of interesting drinkware… Don’t get me wrong, cracking open a cold beer or some low-shelf whiskey isn’t a bad time, but the best parties of all make drinking feel fun, elegant, or just special compared to what someone could do at home. It’s okay if you don’t have the means to splurge on expensive alcohol, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make a fun cocktail list nonetheless. You can search recipes based on what you already have sitting around your house or even just based on your guest list and what you’d expect them to drink. You can even look up fun ways to display the drinks—champagne fountain, anyone? It’s best to think of your beverages as part of the decor, because nothing gets people talking like an interesting cocktail.
Make sure there’s always a killer playlist ready in advance.Not every party requires live music (or, realistically, most parties), but that doesn’t mean your guests have to suffer in silence. If Babylon’s visual aesthetics are the main course, its soundtrack is that little extra garnish that keeps it fun and interesting. If you want to ensure your party has the best vibes possible, you’ll want to make sure you have a playlist made and ready in advance, because nothing’s worse than trying to keep the music going mid-party. Pick the songs based on the vibes you’re hoping to achieve (and the audience you’re hoping to attract), because the music is what really sets the scene for the night (i.e. if you’re hoping to keep people awake all night, go ahead and skip the Bon Iver).
Pick a theme and run with it.Themes probably aren’t necessary for a party to be great, but it actually helps a lot with figuring out how you want to decorate your space or what to serve your guests. If you want your party to center on a certain movie, serve drinks that fit the time period and find easy ways to recreate certain sets or important details that will act as little easter eggs for your guests. Truthfully, planning a party should be both creative and fun—so don’t be afraid to get really into the process!
Don’t be afraid to suggest a dress code.That doesn’t mean you have to enforce it, but just dropping the suggestion to your invited guests will be enough to convince some of them to adhere to it anyway. You can choose to stick to your theme—for instance, asking people to dress up as a character from said movie—or you can simply suggest people dress up nicely in general, like Babylon’s black-tie best (personally, you can expect me to show up in a Nellie LaRoy original, because that girl knows how to shine). A dress code will make your party feel more like an event than just a gathering, and who doesn’t love a good reason to dress up in the outfits they never have an excuse to wear otherwise? Anyone who complains is probably too boring to matter anyway.
Always plan for the worst.Here’s one of the biggest rules to party planning: Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Expect things to take longer than you originally accounted for and don’t be surprised if things don’t go the way you planned. One of the most frustrating parts of hosting a party is also one of the most fun aspects, and it’s this: Parties are spontaneous. They’re surprising and unexpected and, if you’re lucky, chaotic. You’ll never be able to predict how the night will end, so it’s always good to try to account for any outcome so that you won’t spend the evening stressing over minor details.
Make sure you’re the center of attention.Look, if you’re going to go through all the trouble of throwing the best party in town, you’d better at least let yourself enjoy it fully. Think Margot Robbie’s character Nellie LaRoy, who’s never afraid to do what it takes to get people’s attention—put on your most eye-catching outfit, make sure you have the time to do your makeup in whatever way you prefer, and most importantly, don’t let your hosting duties take away from letting yourself let loose. That’s the whole point of party planning—as long as you have everything ready in advance, you’ll have plenty of time to make it the best night of your life. After all, after putting in that much work, you’re the one who actually deserves it!
From writer-director Damien Chazelle, Babylon is an ensemble film set in the late 1920s to early 1930s when films were transitioning from silent to sound. Hilarious, magical, and insanely tumultuous, Babylon is not only a celebration of filmmaking but also of doing wayyyy too much. Of being too much and over the top and not giving a damn what anyone else thinks about it!
Through skilled filmmaking, Babylon tells its story with outrageous perfection. But there are a few major moments in the film that not only will leave you glued to the screen but also will change the way you watch movies going forward (and maybe the way you lead your life, too). Here are six of those show-stopping scenes.
Transporting a live elephant from the dusty outskirts of Los Angeles to a party in Bel Air.Let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? Or rather, the elephant outside of Los Angeles. In a scene of epic proportions, Manny (played by Diego Calva) transfers a live elephant from the dusty outskirts of LA to a party in Bel Air. And why? To make a scene! Granted, it does not go well but not in the way you’d think.
A manic race through the streets of LA with the last available camera in the city before the sun sets on an epic production with thousands of extras.The golden hour isn’t just valuable for getting the perfect selfie for the ‘Gram, it’s valuable in the filmmaking process as well. At one point, there is a race through the busy streets of Los Angeles to the last-available camera and utter mayhem follows suit. This scene really captures the importance of lighting in movies and will make you appreciate these details more than you have before.
Tobey Maguire’s performance. Period.Because obviously! It’s Tobey Maguire! Maguire’s performance will make you understand the value of casting.
Margot Robbie’s character fights a f*ing snake.Margot Robbie plays the formidable Nellie LaRoy who dreams of making it big in LA. LaRoy won’t let anything or anyone get in the way of her reaching dreams, including, as it turns out, a literal goddamn SNAKE.
The wildest bacchanalian party ever committed to film.And you thought your college frat parties were on one. Not even. Babylon features the wildest and most unhinged bacchanalian party ever committed to film. If you want utter debauchery, terrible decisions with hilarious outcomes, and amazing fashion, then you’re in luck.
A film crew who has only made silent movies must shoot one of the first sound pictures. Much rage and absurd hilarity ensue.It’s hard to be a beginner and the scene featuring a film crew who has only ever worked on silent films making a sound picture for the first time will make you laugh out loud but also realize how different movies used to be. It will show you the power of dialogue and delivery and make you appreciate these facets of filmmaking so much more.
Ever notice that the guys you really want don’t seem to want you at the same level… and yet you easily and effortlessly attract the guys you don’t really want? It’s confusing and frustrating. Clearly, you have redeeming qualities because there are some guys who want to date you… it just doesn’t seem to be the ones that you really want. Why?
I asked this question to myself a lot when I was single and dating in my twenties. It was so confusing because at first, the guys seemed super into me. It seemed like once I reciprocated that things went off the rails and suddenly I was desperate and chasing instead of being pursued.
This is something many, many women have experienced as well. Let’s look at it a little deeper…
It really comes down to your vibe. What does that mean? Your vibe is your energy essentially, and this is created based on the thoughts you think and your overall mindset. And most people can intuitively pick up on someone’s vibe. You know when you’re in the presence of an anxious, insecure person. You also know when you’re in the presence of a confident, happy person.
Being positive is a vibe; it’s an energy that comes across. You can be saying all the right things, but if you feel negative inside, it will still come across. Our vibe attracts people or drives them away. This is why women often encounter the phenomenon of easily attracting guys they aren’t super into… and repelling the guys who they do really like.
When I posted about this on my Tik Tok, a lot of people in the comments said that if the guys you want don’t want you it’s because you’re going for guys “out of your league.” First, I don’t believe in leagues. I think those can easily be transcended and your “league” is more a state of mind than anything else, which can be changed. But I’m not talking about wanting a guy from afar who doesn’t notice you. I’m talking about a guy who was genuinely interested in you to start, and then it suddenly seemed to shift.
Now sometimes it’s because it wasn’t a match. But if you notice this only happens with guys you really like and really want to get serious with, well then it’s probably something else.
Why does this happen? Well, in a nutshell, with the guys you don’t want, or the guys you’re on the fence about, it’s easy to be happy and positive and uncensored because you don’t have much at stake. You don’t let worries or fears or insecurities enter the picture because you’re not so attached to the outcome. Instead, you just enjoy your interactions with this other person, and if it works out, great. If it doesn’t, then that’s fine, too—you weren’t so into it anyway.
Now with the guys you do want there is more at stake. You really want things to work out, and this activates your fears … specifically, your fear that it won’t work. This leads you to think negative thoughts … you think about all the guys you’ve liked in the past and how it didn’t work out with them, you dwell on your negative characteristics and worry that they will prevent you from getting the love you want, you worry obsessively that you will do something to cause this guy to lose interest.
This worry leads you to feel upset, and this can take several forms: feeling angry, nervous, self-conscious, paranoid, bitter, jealous, unworthy, foolish, unlovable, etc. All of this comes from stressing over the relationship.
When you’re in this state of mind, it’s impossible to form a genuine connection because you’re not there. You aren’t present in your interactions with him, you’re interacting with the worried thoughts in your own mind, not with the person in front of you.
A lot of the time when we like someone who doesn’t seem to reciprocate, it triggers something in us and we mistake this feeling of being triggered for being in love. Maybe it brings up old childhood wounds, maybe it activates your subconscious fears of not being good enough, of never finding love. You have to step out of the emotional whirlpool of your own thoughts and look at what’s really happening inside of you and why.
Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so it doesn’t matter what you say, how you truly feel speaks louder. The most important thing to focus on is getting to the right place internally. You need to get a handle on your thoughts and start challenging the ones that don’t serve you.
Start by noticing your thoughts throughout the day. Then look at the thought. Let’s say you think, “This guy didn’t text me back… he must be losing interest. Why does this always happen to me?” Stop. Notice the thought. Then ask yourself: does this thought serve me well? Does this take me where I want to go?
If it’s bringing up feelings of fear, insecurity, anxiety, negativity, and so on, then the answer is no. It’s not serving you well. Recognize that and then shift your mind to something more positive and productive.
Do this throughout the day. It may feel odd at first, but you’ll get used to it and then it will become like second nature. And you’ll notice that it becomes more natural and you feel lighter and calmer.
When you start worrying about things falling apart, shift your focus and ask: “What if everything works out?”
Sometimes it’s that simple. When you take power away from these negative, frenzied thoughts, it puts you in a lighter, more positive headspace and this will make you magnetic. This is essentially the crux of manifestation. It’s getting to that place of inner peace and calm and knowing things will work out … and when you’re in this space, they usually do.
If you’ve been dumped, it’s natural to want to make him regret his decision.
I’m assuming you want to make him regret leaving you because you want him back. Or maybe you want him to suffer a little bit, fair enough. I get where your head’s at.
Missing someone isn’t enough of a reason to get back together. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons don’t disappear because you miss each other. If you try to make him miss you, it may work to get him back, but you’ll probably end up breaking up again shortly after.
I’m going to tell you how to make him regret leaving you, and it just so happens that doing these things will help you get to a stronger, more empowered place overall, a place where you’re ready for an emotionally healthy relationship, either with the ex or someone else.
1. Follow the no-contact rule.This is a must whether you want him back or you want to get over him. You must cut off all contact. No calls, no texts, no snaps, no staging accidental run-ins, and I’ll also add no creeping on his social media accounts even though that doesn’t technically count as contact because it has the same damaging effect.
Studies have found that continuing contact with an ex can disrupt emotional recovery. So you basically cause yourself to be stuck in the same vulnerable, miserable place.
A breakup can cause a lot of confusing emotions and you’re not exactly using your best judgment during this time. You need time and space to detox from it all.
Your impulse control is way down after a breakup, which can cause you to do things that sabotage your chances of getting what you truly want, which is to get your ex back (or maybe to move on completely). You may act unhinged or needy or desperate, and this may make him feel even more sure he doesn’t want to get back together. This will also jackhammer your self-esteem into the ground. This is not what we want here.
2. Give him what he wants.Does he want a breakup? Great, give it to him!
Sometimes it takes a whopping dose of giving someone what they think they want in order to make them realize they don’t want it.
He broke up with you…OK, now you’re not in his life anymore. Now he can feel what that really means. He can’t experience the pain of your absence unless you are absent.
He’s not going to expect you to just let it go. He probably will expect you to chase him, he’ll expect to be able to get you back as soon as he wants you, he thinks he’ll continue hearing from you, and he most likely doesn’t think this is so final.
Don’t let him be so sure of these convictions!
Don’t go where you aren’t wanted. You are worth more than that. And please don’t try to stay friends with him, this never ends well!
3. Move on.After a breakup, you shouldn’t ask, “How can I get him back?” You shouldn’t even ask the title of this article: “How can I make him regret leaving me?”
The question you should be asking is: How can I move on from this?
It feels counterintuitive if you want him, and whenever I give this advice to my coaching clients I can see the immediate resistance on their faces. I’m trying to get him back and she’s telling me to move on?! But it must be done.
You have to remember you can live without him. You have to get back in touch with yourself, remember you? I bet you lost a lot of yourself in this relationship… the end of a relationship can absolutely swallow you whole. So check in with you- how are you doing? What is it you need? You’ve spent so long thinking about him and his needs and his feelings… what about you?
Is it possible to get him back? Yes, but that can only happen further down the line when you’ve both worked on yourselves and are emotionally healthy enough to repair what broke the first time in the relationship. If not, then history is just going to repeat itself.
4. Get strong again.A relationship on the decline can deplete you. Your time away from him is the equivalent of a can of spinach for Pop-Eye, it will help make you strong again.
Become someone stronger than who that relationship made you. Find your inner power. Find your power of choice- do you really choose him? Or do you just want him because it’s easy and comfortable and you already know him and you’d rather go back to something familiar and comfortable even if the familiar isn’t what’s best for you because starting over is just so daunting?
If you don’t find your inner power, you will just be at his mercy and will cave in whenever he wants to see you. You may put up with bad behavior because you’re scared of rocking the boat and ruining your chances of getting him back. This may lead you to a toxic on-again off-again relationship. Be stronger so you can make better choices for yourself.
5. Don’t take him back.I’m not saying you can’t get him back and make it work a second time, it’s definitely possible (I mean, I married an ex!). But it will not be different unless something is different!
Change takes time and work and reflection and insight. You broke up because it was broken, broken things don’t magically repair themselves. Both people need to be committed to fixing whatever broke. Both people need to work independently on themselves and together as a unit.
So if he comes back… don’t be so quick to give in. Don’t run and see him whenever he beckons. Don’t answer his texts in the middle of the night. Don’t be a starving puppy panting at his heels, waiting for any scrap of affection he’s willing to spare. This will not make you feel good about yourself, it will only make things worse.
I promise you are not always going to feel the way you do right now. You will not always miss him so intensely. You will one day be able to envision a better, brighter future for yourself that doesn’t include him. One day you will look back and realize this was for the best. One day you will realize that this shaped you in immeasurable ways. It will all make sense eventually. And the sooner you can let this go and reconcile with what is, the sooner you will free yourself and can move on and be happy.
Breakups are hard enough, but when your ex keeps coming back but doesn’t seem to want you back it can be crushing.
It could be an ex-boyfriend or an ex-situation-whatever, either way it hurts and it messes with your mind.
Maybe he starts commenting on your social media accounts, maybe he shoots you friendly texts once in a while, maybe he wants to go out for coffee and catch up. If you give in when he wants to talk or see you, then you may be in a devastating cycle of gaining false hope and thinking he wants to get back together, only to experience to crushing blow of rejection once again when he either disappears or tells you he doesn’t want to try again.
But then why? Why does he keep coming back? Surely it has to mean something!
A lot of women will make the mistake of thinking he keeps coming back because they’re meant to be, because he really is her soulmate or twin flame and just can’t live without her (and to that I just have to say, if he was truly meant to be with you then he would actually be with you!).
This is the truth about why he keeps coming back into your life:
1. He doesn’t want to feel like the bad guy.No guy, at least no normal, emotionally healthy guy, makes it a goal to break a woman’s heart. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he wants to believe you’re on the same page as him and everyone can move on and be happy.
A very long time ago, during my single days, I met a really hot guy who also happened to be really smart and nice, a jackpot!
And he was super into me right away. And given that things never ever seemed to work out the way I wanted, I figured the universe was finally throwing me a bone and I was getting what I deserved after so many years of heartache and rejection.
We went on a few dates and while we had fun, it was very clear this wasn’t a match. He was still very much in his “frat boy” era even though he had long since graduated, and I was in my late twenties and dating more seriously. It wasn’t just about having fun, I wanted to find someone I could get serious with.
I knew the truth, but he was just so hot I decided to ignore it and keep going, but then he not so surprisingly ghosted me. Even though I saw it coming, I was upset about it. But the show must go on.
Weeks went by and then I randomly ran into him on the streets of NYC (it’s always hard not to think of things as being meant to be when that happens, because seriously — what are the odds?!).
Now if I could go back in time and redo this moment, I would have just been cool and collected, I would have given him a friendly hello and been on my way. But that’s not what I did, I was overcome with a desperate need to win him over, to get things back on track. After some flirty and friendly banter, I invited him to a happy hour thing I was going to later that week.
He showed up, I tried to get him back, and I failed and felt like an idiot.
A few months go by and then he randomly texted me wishing me happy holidays. I immediately thought this meant he was interested in me again, that he had lingering feelings that were bubbling up to the surface.
But no, nothing came of it. But he would still shoot me friendly texts here and there. And I would usually reply enthusiastically and then the conversation would die off.
So what was his deal?
Well, I did run into him a few times at different events about a year after our “relationship” and I learned he’s just a really nice guy. I didn’t really pay attention to that part when were dating because I was so focused on getting him to like me, but he is just kind of a sweet little puppy and I think he just didn’t want to feel like the bad guy by ghosting a girl. So in his mind, he wasn’t really ghosting because he was still texting me on occasion. And I’m not giving him a total pass here. What he did was immature, but as I said, he was still in his frat boy era. And I don’t think he realized that he was giving me false hope every time he texted. I genuinely think he thought it was the kind thing to do, he didn’t want me to feel like I was just discarded.
No guy ever wants to feel like the bad guy. No guy is bragging to his friends about the girl he just ghosted.
2. He misses you.Desire, attraction, and feelings of liking or loving someone are complex, these things don’t turn on and off like a light switch.
It’s possible he’s reaching out because he genuinely misses you and misses what you shared together… but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back together with you.
A coaching client of mine was going through a pretty amicable breakup. Basically, she was taking her guy for granted, he was fed up and broke up with her. He didn’t feel like he was what she wanted, he always felt inferior, like his true self wasn’t good enough. She realized the value of what she had as soon as he no longer had it and was desperate to get him back.
She tried her best but he wasn’t budging and it was clear he never would, his mind was set. She started to move on, but every few months he would resurface and text her something that punctured her fragile heart all over again. He would text song lyrics about lost love, and happy memories they shared, or say devastating things like: “I never loved anyone as much as you.” But it’s not because he had a change of heart, it’s because he genuinely missed her and sometimes his emotions would override his better judgment.
Matters of the heart are rarely black and white. It’s not as simple as, “I don’t want to be with you and so I no longer want anything to do with you.” You can recognize that someone isn’t the right person but still miss a lot of things about that person.
3. He wants to hook up…People have needs… sometimes selfish needs. And if you hear from him from time to time and end up hooking up but then don’t hear from him again until he calls you one day and wants to hook up… well then you have your answer as to why he keeps coming back!
This is an easy trap to fall into when it’s a relationship with explosive chemistry but not much else to stand on. Chemistry is important, but it can never compensate for fundamental compatibility.
4. Ego fuel.It feels good to be wanted and desired, very good. And sometimes our egos need that fuel of knowing we can still have something.
I’m sure he has lingering feelings as well, but if he’s reaching out to you mostly to gauge how you feel about him, then he’s most likely just looking for a nice ego-stroking.
5. It’s comfortable.There is comfort in the familiar even if we know the familiar isn’t right for us. Our hearts and minds will always pull us toward the familiar. Most people do the same things every morning, think the same thoughts throughout the day, ascribe the same meanings to events, and feel drawn to the same types of people, usually those who feel familiar and mirror qualities of important figures in our past. We’re creatures of habit.
It’s especially likely he’s coming back out of comfort or familiarity if it was a long-term relationship or if he doesn’t have much else going on in his life and he feels the gaping hole of the space you left behind.
6. He has an avoidant attachment style.Now here’s the tricky thing with people who are avoidantly attached … when you’re there and available, they may feel the need to run or pull away. But as soon as you’re not there, he feels a pull toward you.
If you’re in an on-again-off-again cycle with someone who has an avoidant attachment style, it’s possible that he doesn’t really know what he wants or how to manage his needs.
Attachment styles can be managed but it requires emotional maturity to do so. If he breaks up with you when he feels smothered, and comes crawling back when he craves closeness again, then his attachment style is running the show and he needs to get a better grip on it.
It is possible to have a relationship with someone who is avoidantly attached but they need to learn to express what they need instead of shutting you out. He needs to learn to say, “I need some space” instead of ghosting you or breaking up with you when it feels like too much.
7. He still likes you… he just doesn’t like you enough.This is usually the most confusing of all. He has feelings for you, they just aren’t strong enough.
Usually, this happens after a “situationship.” He either ends things or ghosts… you’re devastated, but then he keeps coming back and giving you false hope.
The reason is he does like you… he does find you cool and attractive and fun and interesting… he just doesn’t like you enough to want to be in a relationship with you.
Now let’s talk about what to do if you’re in a situation with a guy who just won’t let you go.
First, instead of being mad that he keeps coming back, ask yourself why you keep allowing it. It’s easy to cut someone out of your life, you can just ignore him or block him. But you’re not doing that. So ask yourself why.
Why are you allowing him to toy with your emotions like this? Why do you still have hope that things can be salvaged?
If you’re allowing him back into your life, he’s most likely scratching an itch or meeting some sort of need, be it a conscious or unconscious one. Get to the root of it.
The fact is, we teach the world how to treat us. If you’re allowing him to treat you as a backup option or as some girl he texts when he’s bored, then you can’t really blame him. He’s only living up to a standard that you’ve set.
Next, ask yourself: do I really want to be with this man?
Sometimes we get caught up in the ego fuel, in the attention, in the drama of it all. That was the case for me with the sweet puppy boy… he was a nice distraction. I was so caught up in trying to get him to like me that I wasn’t really asking whether I wanted to be with him. And deep down I knew it wasn’t going to work with him, I just didn’t want to think about that.
Now if you’ve decided that he is the right man for you, and that you do want to give this another chance… that’s fine, but you need to realize that he also has to be on board in order for that to happen.
And to find out where his head is at, you’re going to have to be a little vulnerable and put yourself out there and say. Say something along the lines of, “Look, I like you and I want to give this a chance” and see what he says.
If you get vague, non-answers, then that’s your answer. Don’t be seduced by the “maybes,” if it’s not a sure thing, then you have to let go and move on… or continue to torture yourself, it’s your life!
You get one life, and if someone is ruining your ability to enjoy that life and they aren’t treating you the way you know you deserve to be treated, then you have to love yourself enough to let them go fully.
Getting over a situationship can be brutal… and the pain is often worse than the pain following a long-term relationship. But why?
Why does it so hard to let go of something you never truly had? Why does it feel like such an immense loss? Why are you still stuck in this obsessive, spiral cycle?
Well…. When you’re in a situationship, you’re basically dating potential. And when it ends, it’s the death of that potential, it’s the death of what could have been. And that’s hard to reconcile.
Maybe you met someone that loves to travel and go to music festivals and you love to travel and go to music festivals! And you get so excited about the potential for this fun, exciting, adventurous time you’ll spend together, and it’s exhilarating to get caught in that fantasy. And when it ends before it even really begins, well you’re mourning the loss of something you never even had… what’s worse, you’re mourning the loss of a fantasy, and reality can never compare to a fantasy!
You don’t know what it really would have looked like because you never got to the point where you were going on adventures and traveling together… and you don’t know what that would have looked like. It could have been a total disaster. You just don’t know and you can’t know. And instead of thinking about what could have gone wrong, you can’t let go of this vision of how perfect things could have been. You are attached to an idealized fantasy, not to any sort of reality.
It also hurts that he didn’t even want to try.
In a long-term relationship, you were there, he was there, you tried, he tried… and you experienced the breakdown and demise of the relationship. In a situationship… it hurts so much more that he didn’t even want to try. It hurts that he didn’t want to step up and match your desire to give this a fair shot. And it can be hard not to take this sort of thing personally: I’m not even worth fighting for? He didn’t even want to give it more time to see what was there?
It’s also important to realize that whoever this man was in the situationship isn’t the real him. What you saw was the best of him, because we’re all on our best behavior in the beginning! The beginning of a relationship is just an illusion… it can feel like you really like this person, but you don’t really know them yet. And when it ends before you really got the chance to know him, it leaves all these gaps for you to fill in. And you can create this dream man in your mind that may or may not even exist and that’s the person you’re pining for.
More than being mad at him or the situation, you’re mad at yourself. You feel like you can’t trust your own judgment anymore because you thought everything was going great … so are you delusional? How did you not see this coming?
Recognizing what’s happening can help you start to get over it and here are some more tips:
1. Realize he’s not your person.This just wasn’t your person. I know you thought he could be, but he’s not because the right person for you wants to be with you. If this guy cut out before you were even in it, then he was never invested enough in the first place. And trust me, this is not a loss. Not everyone is a match and that’s OK.
Is it possible that it’s just bad timing? Sure, but it isn’t a good idea for you to just wait around for him to choose you. This is an incredibly disempowering place to be and can cause you to waste months or years of your life.
If he lets you go, you just have to let him.
2. Be kind to yourself.I know you feel stupid for being so sad over this, but you’re not. Your hurt is valid, it’s more than valid! It’s a loss, and a loss is painful.
You got excited about something and then disappointed when it wasn’t what you thought. Who wouldn’t be hurt by that?
It’s not what happens to us but rather the stories we tell ourselves about what happens that determines whether we suffer or grow. If you tell yourself, “This happened because I’m unworthy and I’m never going to get what I want in life” … well then that becomes wired in and now it’s a part of your story, and feeling this way will create that as your reality.
An alternative: “It didn’t work out with this guy because he’s not right for me, not because there is something wrong with me.”
3. What did I learn?Every disappointment is a chance to learn and grow, so what did you learn here?
You felt an intense pull toward that person for a reason, what was it? What did he represent to you? What needs was he fulfilling? What void was he plugging up?
Whenever we feel an intense, consuming attraction, it’s usually more about us than it is about the other person.
Maybe you’re drawn to him because he’s cool, confident, and charismatic and you wish you were more cool, confident, and charismatic. OK, then log that in as a data point about yourself and try to find ways to be that person on your own.
Maybe he reminded you of the ex who broke your heart and dating someone similar feels like a way to heal.
Maybe he was insanely hot and growing up the hot guys never wanted you and you internalized that to believe you were a loser and now a hot guy wants you and it’s validating and addicting.
Maybe he represents unhealed trauma. What did you think he could heal within you?
Maybe he represents the familiar… he was emotionally distant in the same way your caregivers were emotionally distant and the subconscious will always pull you back to what feels familiar.
Also- does this guy represent a pattern of yours? Do you always seem to go for the same kinds of guys, and end up in the same sorts of situationships that seem to end in the same ways? This isn’t a conspiracy against you. If your dating life feels like Groundhog’s Day, it means there is a lesson you need to learn… and you’ll keep ending up in the same situations until you learn it!
Maybe it’s not about your trauma, maybe you’re just bored in your life, maybe you have nothing going on, and you’re obsessing over him because you don’t have much else to focus on.
Really look at yourself and your life and examine what took you to this place and how you can come out of it even better and stronger.
4. Fill your life up.Obsession grows in vacant space. If you keep thinking about him and what went wrong and what you did to cause this, you need to stop. You didn’t do anything wrong, there just wasn’t enough there to sustain a relationship.
Instead of dwelling on it, redirect your focus onto something else. Fill up your time and your life with things you love and things that bring you joy.
Try to give to others in any way you can- maybe by volunteering or just by being there for a friend or family member in need. This will put you back in a place of strength and that’s what you need right now.
Visualize what your ideal day looks like. See it from start to finish- what time do you wake up? What do you do first? Who do you spend time with? How do you structure your day? What hobbies and passions do you pursue?
Now that you have a vision of who you want to be, try implementing these things into your life. When your life is full and fulfilling, you effortlessly attract more goodness.
My friend Ashley came to me in a tizzy one day. She was dating a very confusing man and needed help making sense of it all.
They had gone on a few dates and it seemed to be going really well but she didn’t quite know where his head was it. Sometimes he seemed really interested, other times he seemed like he couldn’t care less.
After their most recent date, he didn’t really give any indication if she would hear from him again. He didn’t say he would call, he didn’t say they should do this again sometime. She was just kind of left hanging and she was spinning like a top.
Did I say something wrong during the date? Should I have sent a thank you text? Maybe it’s because I didn’t send a thank you text and he thinks I’m entitled. When should I text him? What should I text him? There was one point in the night when my stomach started hurting and I grimaced… maybe he thought I was turned off by him???
Above all, she wanted to know this: How can I get him to like me?
I listened with compassion and told her, “Ashley, if a guy really likes you, you just need to exist.
“Exist?” She said puzzled.
“Yes,” I reassured her. “Exist. He already knows you like him. You accepted his dates, you replied to his texts, you kissed him back… he knows!”
“Ok. That’s it. I’m just going to exist.”
So she kept on existing and the guy did resurface once or twice but it was pretty clear he wasn’t super into it and that was the end of that. And Ashley actually didn’t feel so terrible after the fact. By not doing what she had always done in the past, overanalyzing, doing all the work, and trying to get things back on track, she stopped investing further in the relationship and it wasn’t so crushing when it ended.
Here is the thing, when a guy really likes you, you don’t need to do anything.
You don’t need to plot or plan or strategize. You don’t need to craft the perfect text. You don’t need to stage accidental on-purpose run-ins. You don’t need to send emissaries in the form of your friends to gather data on how he feels. You don’t need to do a deep dive on his social media to figure out his story and mold yourself into what you think he wants. Stop working so hard.
The only thing you can do is send him a few green light signals. Be warm, be receptive, smile, and show interest in him. If you want to be a little bolder and make the first move, go ahead. But then that’s it. After that, you have to leave some space for him to come to you … and if he likes you, he will want t do that. He also needs the space to choose you, to invest in you, this is how he comes to care about you. And the reverse is also true! This is just how interest is built, it grows as we invest in someone.
Let’s go back to Ashley for a minute. You see, she was always a doer. She always resisted my advice to give a guy space to choose her.
Before the guy in the story I told earlier, there was another guy. He was a guy she was friends with for a while and then she started to catch feelings. Now since they were friends, she thought maybe he didn’t know she had feelings for him. She decided to be a little bold and direct and decided to ask him out.
And he said yes!
However… finding time to actually go out proved impossible. There was always some excuse, always something popping up last minute. But he assured Ashley he did really want to go out with her.
And Ashley dutifully followed up, trying to find a day and time that worked for both of them. Eventually, they did go on a date… and they had a nice time!
But there was no flow after that. It just felt like it had to be forced. And she was doing way more work than he was… but he was always receptive. He always texted back, he agreed to the dates, he showed up (when he wasn’t too busy and canceling and re-scheduling a hundred times).
They went out a few more times and then he ghosted her.
So what went wrong? They basically fell into the passive reciprocation loop. She reached out, and he was receptive because he was somewhat interested in her… then it would kind of fall flat because he wasn’t super into her… and she would get things going again… and he would respond for the same reasons, and so the loop went on until he was over it or found someone else to date, we never found out which it was.
Now had she never pursued him in the first place, the relationship never would have happened. She essentially forced something with a guy who was only luke-warm interested at best.
He wasn’t the one feeling sad and rejected when it ended, she was.
When a guy really likes you, you won’t have to work this hard. It is not in a man’s nature to see an opportunity to be with a woman he likes and then not take it.
Also, do you really want to be with someone that you have to chase? Someone who leaves you with no sense of where you stand? This is not healthy or sustainable.
Now there are certainly things you can do to make yourself more likable. You can work on having a positive attitude, work on your self-esteem, exercise so you feel good, work on being happier, pursue your passions, all those things.
So take ownership of what is under your control, and that is yourself.
Stop taking ownership of what’s not under your control, and that is how someone feels. You just can’t control that, everyone has different wants and preferences.
Learn the art of being.
Because that is the best part of being in a healthy relationship with someone who sees and appreciates you, you can just be.
So stop doing and start being.
If your New Year goal is drinking more water, you’re not alone. A study conducted by Avian found only 22 percent of people drink the USDA-recommended eight to 10 glasses of water daily. On average, people consume only 5 cups of water, half the recommended amount. With all of the different and pressing priorities we’re facing these days, drinking enough water falls to the bottom of our list, but it doesn’t have to. In fact, anyone can ensure they’re staying adequately hydrated if they know about the smart water bottle, HidrateSpark.
The HidrateSpark Smart Water BottleImage via HidrateSparkHidrateSpark doesn’t just remind you to drink water; it establishes a habit that gets you used to drinking water throughout the day. HidrateSpark’s innovative Bluetooth products make it simple to effectively introduce positive habits by tracking every sip of water you take. The bottles’ glowing reminders and text notifications help keep you on track so you consume enough water daily. And how it does this is simple. For starters, how much water you need is determined by science. In the app, the amount of water you need to stay healthy is predetermined based on your profile information and personalized parameters. All you need to do is drink when the bottle tells you to.
Plus, thanks to the HidrateSpark App, you’ll establish extra motivation by mapping your progress and connecting with friends. Not only that, but when you set up your bottle on the corresponding HidrateSpark App, you can choose the glow color you want your bottle to glow when you need to drink water.
HidrateSpark Smart Water BottlesImage via HidrateSparkThe HidrateSpark team understands that achieving your water drinking goals means carrying one of their products with you wherever you go. That’s why they sell a variety of water bottles in an array of sizes. The HidrateSpark PRO water bottle comes in four sizes, 32 ounces, 24 ounces, 21 ounces, and 17 ounces, and in five colors. You also get to choose the lid you prefer, depending on whether you like to sip your water out of a straw or chug it. Now, there’s also the stainless steel vacuum-insulated HidrateSpark PRO Tumbler. It holds up to 20 ounces of coffee or tea to track your consumption in the app. The HidrateSpark PRO Tumbler also glows to ensure you’ll remember to drink from it, and it keeps drinks cold for up to 14 hours and hot for up to 4 hours.
HidrateSpark’s Sustainability PracticesImage via HidrateSparkSustainability means responsible consumption. When you buy a HidrateSpark water bottle, you choose to reuse. Compare that with single-use, disposable plastic water bottles that often end up in landfills or pollute our oceans and water sources. Every year, an estimated 8 million metric tons of disposable plastic ends up in our oceans, and an estimated 60 million plastic bottles are disposed of, ending up in landfills and incinerators. When you use HidrateSpark, you choose to help the earth by relying on a reusable product. So far, HidrateSpark users have saved 143 million plastic bottles and counting. Join in the movement and make a commitment to yourself and the environment today by purchasing a HidrateSpark smart water bottle.
The new teaser trailer just dropped for Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, and it opens with this narration: “Since the beginning of time, since the first little girl ever existed, there have been dolls.” And it’s true! Whether you grew up in the ’70s or the ’90s or the ’10s, dolls have likely been a part of your childhood. You wrestled your Barbie into her pink plastic convertible or shoved increasingly more sparkly outfits on your Bratz doll. Well, this new movie, starring Margot Robbie in the titular role, was made for people like us who lived and breathed the outrageously inaccurate curves of the legendary model/doctor/architect, Barbie. Here’s everything we know so far!
It’s the first live-action Barbie movie.Warner Bros. PicturesConsidering we’ve been inundated with various Barbie movies since 2001, it might come as a surprise that this is the first live-action version of the famous doll’s story. There have been over 40 full-length adaptations of Mattel’s bestseller since the very first, Barbie in the Nutcracker, came out in 2001. Every one of these classics were 2D- and 3D-animated. So while Margot Robbie’s rendition may not be the first motion-picture Barbie, it’s the first we get to see live-action.
It’s being described as a romantic comedy.There isn’t a ton known about the actual plot of Barbie, and the teaser trailer certainly isn’t any help with that. But here’s what we’ve heard so far: Barbie lives in Barbieland, but is cast out because she isn’t “perfect” enough. She must then make life work out in the real world. Some are calling the film a romantic comedy, and considering Ryan Gosling is playing Ken, we like the idea. Speaking of which…
It’s got a stellar cast.Warner Bros. PicturesOf course, Margot Robbie is a great choice for Barbie. With her range in roles like Harley Quinn in the DCU or Tonya Harding in I, Tonya (the latter of which earned her an Oscar nomination), the titular role seems like it’s in good hands. She also happens to have a role as producer of the film through her production company, LuckyChap Entertainment.
Warner Bros. PicturesAlmost as important as Barbie herself is the role of everyone’s favorite smooth boy, Ken. Could there be a more perfect Ken than Ryan Gosling? Word is that he was the only choice producers had in mind for Barbie’s love interest.
For the rest of the cast, we’ve got Will Ferrell (Anchorman), Simu Liu (Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings), Kate McKinnon (SNL), Michael Cera (Superbad), and more.
It’s been written by a familiar duo.In addition to directing Barbie, Greta Gerwig wrote the film alongside her real-life romantic partner, Noah Baumbach. She most recently wrote and directed 2019’s Little Women, for which she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. Noah Baumbach is best known for writing and directing Netflix’s Marriage Story (2019). The pair also worked together previously on the 2012 comedy drama Frances Ha.
The cast had an epic sleepover.When talking about her role in Barbie, Sex Education star Emma Mackey revealed a fun and unconventional way the cast bonded during early filming of the movie. She told Empire:
Right in the beginning, we had a sleepover for the Barbies, which would involve playing games with Scott [Evans] and Ncuti [Gatwa].
Now that’s how you get in the spirit of the film!
You can thank early stills for last summer’s “Barbiecore” fashion trend.Hailey Bieber / InstagramIf you blinked, you might have missed it, but the summer of 2022 had a brief rise of “Barbiecore” fashion, and it’s all thanks to early stills of the movie. The pretty pastel pink outfits found homes on red carpets and TikTok alike, proving it was a fashion trend for everybody. Of course, as trends often do, it quickly fell by the wayside in favor of other things. Perhaps when Barbie finally comes out, we’ll get a second season of Barbiecore for all you pink-lovers. Speaking of which…
You can watch it summer 2023.We’ve got a release date for you! Barbie will be coming to theaters on July 21, 2023.
Check out the trailer for a sneak peek!Excited about the movie? If you’re on the fence, this might help! Check out the teaser trailer below.
While the holiday season can certainly bring feelings of joy, this time of year may not resonate with everyone in the same way. The season of giving and sharing love with the people around us is certainly important but can also highlight some of our more tender, devastating feelings—especially if you’re suffering through heartbreak.
Look, there is no easy way to say it—dealing with a broken heart over the holidays sucks. While others are taking holiday-themed photos and discussing their futures around the family dinner table, you’re still trying to keep yourself together. It’s important to know that while you don’t need a relationship in order to be in a great, thriving place in life, it’s more than okay to admit when you’re feeling less than stellar about feeling alone this time of year.
That being said, sometimes the best pick-me-up is to sit back, pour yourself some hot chocolate, and immerse yourself in holiday movies. If you’re certain that all Christmas classics are about love and Santa, guess again. Below, we’ve rounded up the Christmas movies to watch if you’re going through heartbreak—whether you need a laugh, a sob session, or just a reminder that love does exist, we’ve got you covered.
Happiest SeasonMeeting your girlfriend’s family for the first time can be tough. Planning to propose at her family’s annual Christmas dinner—until you realize that they don’t even know that she’s gay—is even harder. When Abby (Kristen Stewart) learns that Harper (Mackenzie Davis) has kept their relationship a secret from her family, she begins to question the girlfriend she thought she knew.
If you’ve ever struggled with your identity or had to hide your relationship from those who wouldn’t accept it, you know how painful things can be—especially during the holiday season when everyone is together celebrating their love for one another. While the storyline is full of ups and downs, this movie is a perfect watch for those who’ve had their heart broken by someone who couldn’t accept who they were—and is proof that we all have to make important decisions when it comes to the people we love, including ourselves.
You can stream “Happiest Season” on Hulu.
Love, ActuallyNine intertwined stories examine the complexities of the one emotion that connects us all: love. Among the characters explored are David (Hugh Grant), the handsome newly elected British prime minister who falls for a young junior staffer (Martine McCutcheon), Sarah (Laura Linney), a graphic designer whose devotion to her mentally ill brother complicates her love life, and Harry (Alan Rickman), a married man tempted by his attractive new secretary.
There is a reason why “Love, Actually” is considered a favorite modern Christmas classic. While it may feel a little counterintuitive to watch a movie full of couples finding and falling in love, it’s a solid reminder that love comes in so many forms and can show up when you least expect it with unexpected people. It also serves to remind us that romantic love isn’t the end all of our lives–that the love of friends, family, and ourselves matters just as much.
You can stream “Love, Actually” on Peacock
ElfBuddy (Will Ferrell) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa’s elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn’t fit in, the adult Buddy travels to New York, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), a cynical businessman. After a DNA test proves this, Walter reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results.
Okay, this isn’t exactly a Christmas movie focused on heartbreak or romantic love, but that’s kind of the whole point! It’s hard not to laugh at Buddy’s genuine attempts to exist as a human, as well as form a relationship with his biological father. Plus you can distract your sorrows as you squint and realize that yes, that is Zoey Deschanel as a blonde and it works for her.
You can stream “Elf” on HBO Max
The Last Five YearsIn New York, a struggling actress (Anna Kendrick) and a successful writer (Jeremy Jordan) sing about their failed marriage from two perspectives.
Okay, not exactly a Christmas movie, but the holidays do appear in the timeline (especially if we focus on “The Schmuel Song”). This double perspective musical is proof that sometimes people aren’t perfect and relationships falter (but also that sometimes, men are kind of the worst).
You can stream “The Last Five Years” on Hulu
You’ve Got MailStruggling boutique bookseller Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) hates Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), the owner of a corporate Foxbooks chain store that just moved in across the street. When they meet online, however, they begin an intense and anonymous Internet romance, oblivious of each other’s true identity. Eventually, Joe learns that the enchanting woman he’s involved with is actually his business rival. He must now struggle to reconcile his real-life dislike for her with the cyber love he’s come to feel.
Look, sometimes when you’re struggling to believe in love again, you have to watch a classic enemies-to-lovers romance unfold. You just do.
You can stream “You’ve Got Mail” on HBO Max
The HolidayDumped and depressed, English rose Iris agrees to swap homes with similarly unlucky-in-love Californian Amanda for a much-needed break. Iris finds herself in a palatial Hollywood mansion while Amanda navigates the lanes of a picture-perfect English village. Soon enough, both lovelorn ladies bump into local lads perfect for a romantic pick-me-up.
The best holiday heartbreak movie, period. With both Iris and Amanda suffering through heartache at the start of the film and then deciding to just swap homes with the other for an escape from their current lives? It’s a reminder that sometimes life can be overwhelming (and full of heartbreak), but stepping out of your comfort zone a little can open the door for better things.
You can rent “The Holiday” on Prime Video
HolidateFed up with being single on holidays, two strangers agree to be each other’s platonic plus-ones all year long, only to catch real feelings along the way.
Yes, the “fake dating” trope is certainly not a realistic one (does this ever happen in real life??) and yet, for whatever reason, our hearts can’t seem to get enough of them. If you kind of hate the holidays specifically because you’re single, this one is for you.
You can stream “Holidate” on Netflix
Bridget Jones’s DiaryAt the start of the New Year, 32-year-old Bridget (Renée Zellweger) decides it’s time to take control of her life—and start keeping a diary. Now, the most provocative, erotic, and hysterical book on her bedside table is the one she’s writing. With a taste for adventure and an opinion on every subject—from exercise to men to food to sex and everything in between—she’s turning the page on a whole new life.
While it may not immediately come to mind for some, this is in fact a Christmas movie. Most notably, when you’re going through heartbreak, sometimes you just need to sit in your loneliness for a while and acknowledge it. While Bridget spends a great deal of time trying to alter herself to make herself more appealing, the movie is also a reminder that people can love us exactly the way we are—a message we could all use every now and then, if we’re honest.
You can stream “Bridgit Jones’s Diary” on Paramount+
Merry Happy WhateverA strong-willed patriarch must balance the demands of his complicated family with the stress of the Christmas season when his youngest daughter comes home for the holidays with a new boyfriend.
If you’re more of a “binge TV series” type of person, look no further than Merry Happy Whatever. The show gives off some classic Home Improvement sitcom vibes (intimidating father with multiple daughters) but follows multiple storylines that take place over the course of one week during the holidays. The heart of the story surrounds a couple who are hoping to get a family blessing for a proposal and follows the pair as they try to determine whether they should be together at all. Sometimes it’s easy to rush into things, but this show reminds us that things work out if they are meant to.
You can stream “Merry Happy Whatever” on Netflix
Falling For ChristmasA young, newly engaged heiress has a skiing accident in the days before Christmas. After she is diagnosed with amnesia, she finds herself in the care of the handsome cabin owner and his daughter.
Occasionally, you just need to watch a classic Hallmark-Esque rom-com to lift those spirits. Are the plots nonsensical? Usually. But this one brings the return of Lindsay Lohan to the screen, so, it’s worth it. Plus, no matter how heartbroken you are, you very likely didn’t fall off a ski lift and lose all your memories, so things could be worse, right?
You can stream “Falling for Christmas” on Netflix
It’s A Wonderful Life George Bailey has so many problems he is thinking about ending it all—and it’s Christmas! As the angels discuss George, we see his life in flashback. As George is about to jump from a bridge, he ends up rescuing his guardian angel, Clarence—who then shows George what his town would have looked like if it hadn’t been for all his good deeds over the years.
Look, the film certainly starts off on a very bleak note, make no mistake. But it’s also a certified Christmas classic that shows us how important we are to the people in our lives, even when we are sure everything is horrible. Plus, it paints a picture of how everything in our lives helps shape the person we are today—yes, including the heartbreaks.
You can stream “It’s a Wonderful Life” on Prime Video
Babylon is a thrilling original film with an ensemble cast, starring Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Li Jun Li, Jean Smart, and Tobey Maguire. The film follows glitzy, glamorous characters as they navigate Hollywood throughout the 20s and 30s, but the story feels timeless. It contains the perfect blend of drama, heart, and humor — but one of its best features is the fashion. Although this was a period of reckless extravagance, you can recreate Babylon’s most iconic outfits without breaking the bank.
Let your accessories do the talking.You don’t need to purchase an entire new wardrobe when you want to change up your style. All you need are the right accessories. As Margot Robbie proves, extravagant necklaces and earrings are the key to a glamorous outfit. To recreate her look, you can simply add a string of pearls to your dress. Or you can add another staple accessory that she rocks throughout the film, like headbands, belts, or hats. They’re bold, glamorous statements that won’t cost you a fortune.
Get creative and make your own clothes.Babylon is about a group of dreamers who understand the importance of artistic innovation. Let these characters inspire you to create your own looks. Literally. You can pick up some fabric from your local craft store and sew your own dress. That might sound intimidating, but when you’re creating a dress without a waistline, like the ones featured in this film, it’s easy to make at home – and it will save you a ton of cash.
Rent your party clothing for a cheaper price.Babylon is filled with lavish parties, but you aren’t going to wear costumes as glamorous as these characters do every single day. Since you’re only dressing up for one night and you might never wear the same outfit again, try renting your clothing online. You can have special items shipped to you, wear them, and then bring them back without having to pay the full price. No one else will know the difference.
Pay extra attention to hair and makeup.New clothing can add up when you’re packing your shopping cart, but as long as you have one or two statement pieces, you should be set. Remember, hair and makeup can change your entire appearance (and it won’t break the bank!). Rocking bright red lips, a curly updo, and heavy eye makeup like Margot Robbie does in this film will help you land the right aesthetic.
Choose the proper footwear for the occasion.Looking fashionable isn’t enough. You need to feel good about what you’re wearing too. Remember, you don’t have to choose between aesthetics or comfort. You can have it all. That’s why you should ditch those thin high heels that are hard to walk in and stick to wearing lower, chunkier heels that you’re able to move around in — and dance in! That way, you’ll be able to have fun without sacrificing style. You’ll get the best of both worlds.
Mix and match your clothes and accessories.The aesthetics in Babylon are beautiful because of their scope and scale. But little things can make all the difference in real life. All you have to do is make a slight change to an old outfit in order to make it feel brand new again. The same dress can be paired with different jewelry, hats, and makeup and it will suddenly be unrecognizable. Just like Babylon is the perfect blend of genres, you can create the perfect blend of clothes. All it takes is a little bit of creativity.
Wear your clothing with confidence.The clothes you choose are only going to get you so far. If you really want to make an impact, you need to have the confidence to pull them off. Remember, fashion is all about having fun and showcasing your style. You should always be wearing outfits that make you feel confident — and make you feel more like you. Although the characters in Babylon are great style inspiration, don’t try to be them. Be yourself. They’re beautiful, but so are you!
See Babylon, only in theaters, December 23rd! Tickets are available here.
When most people think of Ketamine, visions of raving, at-risk youth come to mind. But this sort of recreational abuse has given the drug an undeserved reputation. In reality, Ketamine shows enormous potential for treating all sorts of trauma, including chronic depression, crippling anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and even pain disorders.
In recent years, a full-blown cottage industry has evolved around ketamine, with infusion centers and clinics popping up across the country. While still an “off-label” use, ketamine treatments are a safe way for people with disorders that have been resistant to other forms of treatment to get some relief.
The Power Of KetamineImage via Choose KetamineImage via Choose Ketamine
While perhaps somewhat intimidating for some, Ketamine therapy offers stunning clinical results as shown in a recent study, with 89 percent of patients reporting improvements in depression and anxiety and 77 percent reporting improvements in overall mood and greater stability. Fewer than 5 percent of patients report side effects.
Positive effects of the treatment happen immediately, though it’s not a magic cure-all: regular ketamine treatments are required to maintain the positive effects. Ketamine treatments are safe when used as directed and under the supervision of experienced guides who can help to mitigate discomfort or difficult emotions that may occur during the ketamine experience.
Traditional clinics, however, can be intimidating for many, particularly given that those suffering from extreme mental distress or chronic pain can be reluctant to leave the house. Moreover, clinics can be expensive, often costing hundreds of dollars for each treatment and an expensive “stabilization” period of between three and six treatments up front.
Fortunately, this is no longer an impediment to obtaining the medical treatment many desperately need.
Choose Ketamine: Effective At-Home Psychedelic TherapyImage via Choose KetamineImage via Choose Ketamine
Choose Ketamine offers comparable treatments to ketamine clinics at a fraction of the price and in the comfort of your own home. Rather than traveling to a clinic, patients can kick back on their favorite chair, a comfy couch, or even a bed while receiving the same high-quality treatment they would get in a traditional clinical setting. And patients do not have to discontinue existing talk therapy or pharmaceutical treatments.
After a psychological evaluation, patients with Choose Ketamine will undergo a one-to-two-hour treatment with an experienced and knowledgeable guide via Zoom. These experts will also provide guidance on integrating back into your everyday life. All of this takes place under the supervision of experienced clinicians.
Best of all, treatments cost a fraction of what you might expect to pay at a clinic: $158 monthly, with the first month costing just $79.
So click here for your free online quiz to find out if ketamine treatment is right for you.
So you were dating a guy… or maybe still in the “talking phase” and he seemed super into you. And you like him too which makes it even better! And just when you were starting to get excited about the possibilities of what lay ahead … he seems to be losing interest. Or maybe he flat-out ghosts you. And you have whiplash from this sudden, unexpected turn of events.
You’re hurt, you’re upset, and you’re angry… mostly at yourself because surely you did something wrong here. Everything was going so well… how could it change so abruptly? Maybe you pick yourself apart, maybe you replay every interaction, maybe you rip yourself to pieces, and berate yourself endlessly for pushing away what could have been the love of your life.
Stop. That isn’t helping, it’s only hurting you.
This is the truth about what makes a super-interested guy lose interest.
1. You were trying too hard to win him over.There is no greater turn-off than desperation.
Trying to win a guy over is never a good strategy and rarely works. This is why I’m sure you’ve noticed that the guys who seem to fall for you the hardest and quickest are the ones you aren’t so interested in … it’s because you’re not trying to impress them, you’re not really doing anything!
When you see a guy as a prize to be won it puts you in agenda mode. Your agenda is to win him over, that is your goal and you measure every interaction with him in terms of whether it takes you closer to or further from this goal.
You can’t just be present and connect with him. You’re weighing everything you say. You’re writing and re-writing texts and sending them to your girlfriends for approval before sending them to him.
Guys aren’t anti-relationship. Guys will get into a relationship with a woman who brings out the best in them and who they feel great being with. But if you communicate to him that a relationship with him is going to be some kind of life-preserver or crutch or key to being happy, he will definitely not want to pursue a relationship.
Also, when you try to win someone over, the message you’re essentially sending is: “I think I’m unworthy of you so I’m going to work extra hard in the hopes that you don’t notice or that I can compensate for what I lack.”
2. He was never that into you in the first place.Don’t mistake flirtation and a little bit of attraction for all-out interest. Or maybe he is interested in you … but it just isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
It looks like he’s losing interest, but he really was never in that place of liking you enough to want a full-on relationship with you. And that’s OK. That’s not a loss.
The reason it seemed like he was so interested in the beginning is that he was trying to win you over… that’s just a natural part of courtship. His behavior isn’t so much a reflection of how much he likes you, but rather his way of getting you to like him. In the beginning, he can’t possibly know you well enough to truly like you. In the beginning, all you have is the potential of what could be.
Dating is merely a discovery process, it’s not a measure of your worth or worthiness. So what looks and feels like him losing interest, is really just him discovering you’re not a match.
3. You’re choosing the wrong men.If you notice that guys keep disappearing on you and every guy you date seems to be a “commitment-phobe, it may be time to take a closer look at who you are choosing and why.
If you keep choosing guys who can’t or won’t give you what you want … then you’ll never get what you want!
If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now or is ambivalent about his feelings toward you, or he’s just a selfish immature guy who can’t be an equal partner in a relationship, then move on!
Don’t try to play savior here. I understand that you and he have crazy chemistry (side note: the chemistry you feel with a guy you can’t have is made up mostly of the anxiety and fears he arouses within you, punctuated by shots of elation and validation when he acts loving toward you) … that he has all these qualities you want in a man … that it’s so hard for you to find guys you actually like, but if you stay in this situation, you’re just wasting your time and you’re going to come out of it a little more broken, jaded, and wary of men.
It’s important to look within and look at your patterns. If you only choose guys who can’t love you… then maybe you feel unworthy of love. A lot of these feelings are rooted in childhood. So think about what emotional needs weren’t being met as a child and how this is manifesting in your adult relationships.
4. Your vibe is off.Your vibe is essentially what determines how attractive you are. A vibe is something created within that radiates outward. We can call it a vibe, or we can call it a mindset, it’s the same thing essentially.
If you’re stressing and obsessing over the relationship, he will pick up on it and it’s not attractive.
Worrying about a relationship like this activates your fears and insecurities. You’re worried he won’t reciprocate your feelings and you will be alone once again. He has come to represent something bigger than just being a guy you like. It’s possible you’re attaching feelings of worth to him and subconsciously believe that if he chooses you, then that will mean you are worried. No wonder you’re so nervous… you have a lot at stake here!
Men fall in love based on how they feel around you. If he feels pressured, there is little room to feel anything else because the pressure suffocates the life out of any attraction or interest that was there.
The best relationship advice is to focus on your internal state, rather than on making him feel a certain way about you.
5. You don’t connect with who he truly is.The secret to standing out in a sea of endless options is to connect to someone at their core. To connect to their shadow self… not with the mask they wear out in the world.
It’s very easy to fall in love with the idea of who someone is- he’s handsome, smart, charming, smart, etc. But that list can describe millions of people! What is it you like about him? What makes him unique and special? What do you know about him that you can’t discover from his social media accounts?
It comes down to this: Can you connect to him at his core? Do you see who he truly is?
This is the kind of woman who stands out from the rest, this is what makes a man look at you in a different light. Are you just checking boxes off a list or are you genuinely interested in building a meaningful connection? Are you connecting with him as a person, or is he a means to an end for you… a means of feeling worthy and good enough.
No man wants to feel like he’s filling a slot that any other guy could occupy. He wants to feel chosen because of how great he is, not because you want a boyfriend and he’s good enough for the job.
Psychedelic drugs are generally associated with the 1960s counterculture movement. Today these mind-expanding drugs are experiencing a comeback. Several states are legalizing psychedelic mushrooms, and their powerful therapeutic benefits are finally getting recognition from mental-health experts.
Read on to see the 30 best hookup sites and apps to suit everyone’s sexual preferences, kinks, and more. We have included the top free and paid hookup sites and apps to find some casual dates tonight.
Let’s talk about how you might unintentionally be pushing guys away and turning them off.
When a man starts to pull away or withdraw, a lot of women reflexively panic and do what they can to bring him back and get the relationship back on track.
We could all benefit from learning how to better identify malignant narcissistic and psychopathic traits in people, before we get involved in relationships, friendships, or workplaces that harm us.
The one thing I’ve noticed over the years as a relationship writer is that most women have no idea how they’re coming across to men.
Can't get enough of Wednesday's dance? Here's what makes this clip from Netflix's new show so great.
Netflix’s 1899 is a peace-offering to an audience formerly known as “disgruntled OA fans”, once dismissed by the streaming giant on the alleged basis of niche taste but who now seem to represent a growing demand for an emerging genre with a business case.
007 is one of those rare franchise characters exhibiting multiple actor’s interpretations over generations. It’s a role that has to date, been played seven times over six decades in twenty seven films.
If a man doesn’t want you, you should never have to plead your case and convince him otherwise. Storytime!
If you’re going through a breakup or just trying to get over a guy who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, then I feel for you. I know how alone and isolating the experience can be.
The Menu as a film is as conceptual and simple as a chef’s special tasting. When going into any restaurant we know more or less what flavors to expect, based on the description of a dish.
Whether you want to get over him or you want to get him back, after a breakup, you must follow the no-contact rule. Storytime!
Have you noticed how certain women seem to have all the luck with men? They don’t really seem to do anything, and people are just drawn to them. And this has nothing to do with looks.
It was a dark and cold February when my life was bound to take a turn. The previous year I had been having episodes of fever that would result in nothing.
Pixar has a new banger coming out next year. Here's everything we know about Elemental!
I want to finally share the story of how I married my high-school ex-boyfriend after 11 years of me wanting him and him not being interested in me at all!
We need to talk about knowing if a guy likes you and what to do about it. This is a massive source of confusion for most women, actually for most people in general!
Do you find that you are mostly (or only!) drawn to emotionally unavailable men who can’t give you the commitment you want?
When a man starts pulling away or withdrawing or acting cold toward you… it’s hard not to panic. It’s hard not to blame yourself: What did I do? Is it something I said? Was I too needy?
This week, be gentle with yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard. Don’t rush yourself to move at an impossible pace. Accept that you’re going to get there when you get there. Stressing yourself out isn’t going to help in any way.
Will sleeping with a guy too soon make him instantly lose interest and head for the hills? It is an age-old debate with no concrete answer.
Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson just announced they're working on a Christmas action adventure film called Red One. Here's what we know so far.
Sexual harassment is wrong—period, end of sentence. No matter who is in the position of power. As a woman, it is mentally and emotionally difficult to process the sheer amount of offenses exposed in past years by the media and later reinterpreted in art. We have documentaries on the USA gymnastics abuse scandal, The Morning Show, and Bombshell. I’m not sure Tár was a necessary addition or brought anything new or of value to the conversation.
This week, point out problems instead of pretending everything is fine. If you want to strengthen relationships and friendships, you need to be honest with each other. You need to admit when something isn’t working. If you stay quiet, then the problem will only snowball.
With BPD being one of the most stigmatized mental health disorders, I have to admit I'm fearful of what a prospect may think about my diagnosis.
ARIES You grew out of your old self and found a new one and this wasn’t part of the plan. Maybe it takes what you thought your future was and paints it in shades of blue.
So the guy you’ve been seeing suddenly isn’t chasing you anymore… he seems less interested… you don’t feel like a priority… and you’re panicking and don’t know what’s going on or how to get it all back on track.
Have you ever met someone and become utterly obsessed with them almost instantaneously?
"Whether you entertain, enlighten, heal, inspire or make people laugh with your writing, you touch lives in one way or another."
LIBRA: This week, think long and hard before coming to any major decisions. Listen to your head and your heart combined. Don’t rush to a conclusion because you could make the wrong one if you don’t consider every angle.
This week, you should think with your head instead of your heart. Be careful with your decision making because you don’t want to end up miserable while trying to make someone else happy. You aren’t in charge of their peace of mind. You’re only in charge of your own.
LEO - This week, you’re going to feel a little uncomfortable – but that discomfort can be a beautiful thing. It can be a sign you’re heading in the right direction.
GEMINI: This week, be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes you’ve made and the bad habits you’re having trouble breaking. Accept that you are an imperfect human and that it’s okay. You’re trying and that’s all that matters.
GEMINI: This week, take a cold hard look in the mirror. Acknowledge the flaws that have been holding you back. Stop putting off change to tomorrow.
Every year, Freeform releases their schedule for their “31 Nights of Halloween.” It’s a fun tradition, watching spooky movies every day of October in the lead-up to everyone’s favorite candy-filled holiday.
LIBRA: When Virgo season starts on August 23, you are going to start overthinking. You’re going to expect the worst and question every move you make. But you have to remember to trust yourself and your decision making skills.
ARIES: This week, you should listen to your head over your heart. Don’t let yourself fall into a bad situation (or remain in a bad situation).