The Blend with Joey and Dell: Recent Episodes
Joey and Dell
We help blended families with practical solutions for the strain of everyday life so they can find joy in community!
How to be involved when you can't be with your kids
Have you heard of the words "Secure Attachment"? This is what we learned (Thanks, Wikipedia!)
Secure attachment is classified by children who show some distress when their caregiver leaves but are able to compose themselves quickly when the caregiver returns. Children with secure attachment feel protected by their caregivers, and they know that they can depend on them to return.
Heavy right? What if secure attachment or lack thereof plays out even more significant when you add a 50/50 schedule with your child in a new complex Family structure.
You may notice changes in your child when they return back to your care. You may call them when they are away on their Other natural Parents' time, but you don't have that secure connection with them like when you are face to face.
Does that strike a chord?
You take the time to weigh out and reduce the options of why the disconnect. Unfortunately, you wind up just as empty-handed, heavy-hearted, and empty-headed.
This cannot continue, nor should it. The hunt is on to find the attachment you once had with your child or children. Grab a pen, notebook, and an open mind-lets review!
Click to watch the video of this weeks episode: https://fb.watch/5im1q1rv0c/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Kidconnect #Messedandblessed #SecureAttachment #MCM #MCMLife
When is the right time to meet the other Bio parent when you have coupled?
It's that dreaded time while you are in between fun phone conversations and dinner dates with your new Love.
We have met each other's Kids-Check.
We have met each other's families -Check,
We have met each other's closest friends-Check.
Heck, we have even met each other's neighbors, co-workers, and Mailman.
Why is meeting the Ex so hard?
The day the kids met your new Love went terrific.
You have planned a group activity so ALL the kids, his and hers, can hang out as a group.
Memories making has started, bonding has begun.
It is time to attempt the 3 shots of tequila IE: liquid courage and make the call. You are almost positive the kids have already shared your exciting news; this should be easy.
Perhaps your Ex was no big deal in the introduction, now onto his Ex.
The funniest Meme yet on the mean side, "So you are the Ex? I am the Upgrade. Nice to meet you."
Is this the correct heart to have to enter this pivotal meeting? Of course, not!
Although a tempting one if we were to take a psyche inventory.
The time is now; it must be done. We want to move forward with our future.
He picks up the phone and dials the familiar number, and it's ringing.
Inhale, exhale slowly and prepare to be positive!
Click to watch the video of this weeks episode: https://fb.watch/5ilZrsRr7m/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #NewLove #Messedandblessed #MeettheEx #MCMLife #MCM
Have you ever heard of mini wife syndrome (Or mini Husband Syndrome)?
She the beautiful loving daughter takes the message for her Dad.
It's a call from the Dr's office for an upcoming Dr. Appointment he made by your prodding.
As you walk in you realize the decision was made between your Mate and his Bio child, that appointment would get rescheduled.
The Daughter made sure her Dad knew she needed him that day and of course the appointment would be rearranged.
You see your profile at a glance from the large wall mirror in the hallway.
You stop and turn to see the shocked look you have on your face.
Am I in the twilight zone?
What just happened here?
Did he ask me my thoughts on the Dr. appointment rescheduling and perhaps I didn't hear him?
You turn despondently as you see this loving hug between your Man and his Bio daughter as she states, "I will make you a low cholesterol dinner, Daddy. You don't need that Dr. to tell you that! Do not worry, I am here for you!"
Mini Wife Syndrome has entered your home. Let the games begin.
This will not only give you insights on how to stop Mini Wife/Mini Husband Syndrome in its tracks. You will feel empowered while acknowledging it's a problem. Side note: You will want to pour a well-deserved glass of wine. Go do it and nestle in!
Click to watch a video of this week's episode: https://fb.watch/5ilW1tsNSI/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Miniwifesyndrome #Messedandblessed #MCMLife #Surrogatespouse
10 ways to celebrate Fathers Day in your Blended family
To start this off right here is a silly joke for you.
Child #1: What does your father do for a living?
Child #2: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Child #1: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Child #2 Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
Clearly, Blended Family humor.
Did you know that Father's Day wasn't official until 58 years after Mothers Day?
So for 58 years, all the moms got accolades, and the dads settled in with that concept.
It makes us wonder, do Dad's hate the attention?
As we approach a less stressed year with no Covid Lockdown, the Father's Day to-do list has been growing.
We have put together something for everyone but especially for that Special guy we all love.
And if this is a Single Mom reading this right now, take notes anyway as you can send your child with a big heart, and the stickiest Rice Krispy Treats made especially for him; everyone wins!
Click to watch a video of this week's episode:https://fb.watch/5ilS5Tlalo/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #FathersDay #Messedandblessed #Apathy #Dearolddad
Sympathy vs Empathy in your Blended family
"Empathy is walking a mile in another person's moccasins, Sympathy is being sorry their feet hurt" Rebecca O'Donnell
Never were words more applicable than when we took a look at our blended family and parenting skills.
What does one do when your Bio child is crying over a huge pain the Other Natural Parent has inflicted.
It's so heartbreaking.
You want to run in and grab that box of tissues and then before you know it you are using words like "of course that wasn't fair!" "How could they do such a thing to you?" "Doesn't this hurt when they do this, I get it!"
The party of one broken heart turns into a long-winded party for two. You watch your deflated child walk to the other room resembling an old Mylar balloon barely moving.
It's a scene we know all too well and conversations we wish we could reverse.
From the words of Brene Brown-"Empathy fuels connection and Sympathy drives disconnection".
Would you ever really want that for your child? In a moment of commiserating, you single-handedly zero in on their hurt and now with the Other Natual Parent, a scar, a fractured mess, and perhaps a permanent disconnect.
Take this moment to learn the difference, Sympathy vs Empathy will make or break the outcome.
Are your palms sweating? Well, this might be the clarity you were looking for!
Click to watch a video of this week's episode: https://fb.watch/5ilLBwmfF9/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #SympathyvsEmpathy #Messedandblessed
Child Support and how we handle it
It was the week of Nursing School Graduation that the Process Server delivered one large envelope. "You have been served," echoed across the room as the front door shut tightly.
The high of the well-deserved congratulations from our new Nurse status whittled down by an unrealistic court document stating we should be paying 1800.00 a month to his Ex.
Fast forward a few months, and the call came now from her Ex.
He is now jobless and will be stopping all child support payments, which included his court-ordered obligation of Medical and Dental benefits for the kids.
Take a few steps back, we told ourselves. Take in the situation.
We start to count the kids, six of them to feed, house, and carry benefits.
The Child Support scenario for our household was approximately 3800.00 we would be without monthly.
This amount did not include what the benefits for the kids would monetarily total.
We were in dire straights. We were headed for a breakdown, emotionally and financially.
What happened next? Do you feel this is about you? Take the best seat in the house and keep watching!
Click to watch the video of this episode: https://fb.watch/5ilHA8uIQv/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Childsupportproblems #Messedandblessed
Coping with Online School in two homes #Gettingold
Remote Learning Tip, resource guides, and articles, etc., we have read it all. You too?
It's wearisome that we are even in this.
Then again, the peeking possibility that kids can return to school full time is on the horizon.
This is our hope for you and your kids and ours-pure normalcy, well as normal as Blended Families can do.
But that is not today and possibly not be next year either.
Did you know one of the biggest tips for Parents to assist their kids in school is don't sit in class with your child online?
This made us laugh at the thought.
Maybe we have too many kids to do such a thing.
Or perhaps it's easily imagined that a parent with control issues would.
Online school since March 2020 till now; to make this pot of yuck even fouler, a lot of kids have to do this Remote learning in two households. Fluff the couch pillow, Spray some Febreeze, and Strike a pose for some goodness!
Click to watch the video of this episode: https://fb.watch/5ilB_Vfahd/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Remotelearning #Pandemicproblems
Adult Children now; Blended Family hurts
Now a Man in law school we were approached with a nervous Son who wants to talk things out in Counseling.
There were hurts he had that he didn't want to carry into the rest of his adulthood, things that happened in our blended family.
What a crushing blow to the Ego of a parent when every moment in our new Family was dedicated to making the children feel loved and nurtured.
In other Blended Family groups, we have seen this time and time again.
No child comes out unscathed from childhood, Nuclear family, or Blended family. Why is the intensity feel worse knowing that it's you and your family that caused it?
That is today's topic. As much as we want to skip into the sunset and see our kids, now adults skipping behind us, sometimes this just doesn't happen.
Click to watch the video of this Episode: https://fb.watch/5ilvN9l616/
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
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JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #AdultchildreninBlendedFamilies #ParentinginBlendedFamilies #Bonuskidswithhurts
5 ways to celebrate Mothers Day in your Blended family
Did you know the National flower for Mothers Day is a white carnation?
This was deemed so in 1905 as Anna Jarvis filled the Methodist church in Grafton, West Virginia, at her Mothers' memorial. She gave each woman a flower in memory of her mother. Anna's mother Ann held a firm conviction that Mothers were important both in society and their home.
Anna vowed to carry this cause further, and her pursuit began. With Anna continually campaigning to make Mothers Day a National holiday, President Woodrow Wilson signed the declaration in 1914. Every 2nd Sunday in May would be Mother's Day.
Did you also know Mothers Day was initially promoted as "Mother's Peace Day"? This was by a woman named Julia Ward Howe in 1870 encouraging mothers to call for Peace in the World. (Thanks to History.Com for these nibblets).
Although white carnations are a bit simple to show off the color of Mothers, how does it make you feel that Mothers Day originated from Peace promoting?
Does Mothers' Day in your Blended Family leave you feeling peaceful? How can you make this day a Game changer starting now? Well, this is for you! Needed: an open mind, an open heart, and an open bottle of wine. Let's go! 5 ways to celebrate Mothers Day in your Blended family Episode 44 starts now!
Enjoy and Share this with anyone who will benefit!
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #MothersDay #ParentinginBlendedFamilies #Bonuskids
Joey and Dell Do-overs- How this helped us immensely
No one goes into a new relationship dragging in their baggage, not knowingly at least. For us, our Cargo Freight sized luggage looked like this.
One of us was used to trips and activities and events as their first marriage had no kids for many years. The other knew what life looked like with kids, sleepless nights, tight finances, and no fun in the first marriage. How did that play out now that we were together and trying to create a new life, relationship, and memories?
For Dell, she was indeed the perpetrator of bitterness. She didn't go on many trips in her first marriage and lived with only having fun times on her annual girls' weekend. That was it. The rest of the years, 15 to be exact, was full of responsibilities.
Joey had a different experience; he vacationed, partook in brunches and hikes on the weekends. He may not have had as much fun as Dell was imagining, but he definitely had more free time as he had kids much later in his first marriage.
Fast forward to 2 people making a new relationship. The pains of memories and places would arise, or the stupid BS of jealousy would pop up.
(Again, Dell, the perpetrator)
There are all kinds of combinations of people with relationship pasts, so this story isn't unique, but the solution to this problem is. We intentionally made some choices that we know will help you going forward. Away from the negative into the positive!
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Doovers #Dooverorgetover
Messedandblessed
About this video: It describes the past in relationships and what unknowingly is carried into new relationships. Memories of Ex experiences and events can bring negative emotions along with jealousy. The video gives the viewer an honest story of how that challenge was handled and overcame. If you are looking for a relationship solution, consider the video to feel normal.
Having an "Ours" Baby and the rest of our Kids' Reactions
The year was 2007; we got a call from the Kindergarten teacher of Dell's 5-year-old daughter.
We heard that our dear sweet one announced to her class that not only was her Mom having a baby, but we were naming her "Aulbrey" pronunciation in her 5-year-old way "A-L-L-B-R-E-Y because she is the "ALL of us Baby."
Out of the mouths of babes. Although it's a family name from Joey's Grandfather, it was to her a name that fit the situation. An "All" of us baby.
We giggled with the teacher with that sweet story but also relief set in.
At least one of our 5 kids was optimistic about the new Baby.
With One kid down, 4 to go, we crossed our fingers and held our breath.
You may assume we are kidding about that statement.
No, it really was the thought process.
Fear took hold of us that the kids and their reactions would be a HUGE setback if negative since this was an unplanned pregnancy.
Sometimes it feels exciting and in a split second, you are Eyore from Winnie the Pooh gazing at your feet while your children stare disapprovingly.
Blended Families and an "Ours" baby can be the very thing that brings you closer. It also can be a stressor that feels and looks out of control, mostly if that pregnancy was unplanned.
As promised we are sharing our "US and Ours" Baby story with you.
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach.
Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling.
Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Oursbaby #Newbabyinstepfamily
Messedandblessed
About this video: This video describes the trials and errors of bringing an "Ours" Baby into the Blended Family. While some pregnancies are planned, and some are surprises, the other children will react to the concept. Bringing a new baby into the StepFamily or Blended family life is full of joy if appropriately handled. The video reviews the different emotions to expect from the older siblings and the turmoil they might need preparation for regarding the other natural parent or bio parent.
Grandparenting tips for single/Blended Parent
We recently asked a Grandmother that has been active with her own kids/grandkids' lives, mostly when there was a Single parent situation her thought on this subject. She gave us her heartfelt experience, and it was appreciated.
She said it's hard when you want the best for your Grandkids. Often you use your limited money for things they don't have.
"You may want to buy them a book, but you instead buy them socks and underwear cause that's what they need."
She described that she helped out when she could, but sometimes her different schedule with work and other commitments made her time-limited. There was guilt where it shouldn't be.
When we requested one last insight from this gracious woman to single/Blended parents, she added, " When parents agree at that drop off of their kids to a pick-up times of the kids, do it."
Meaning as a parent in a Blended Family or single parent (Or any parent for that matter), do not leave the Grandparent waiting as you run extra errands and arrive late.
Communication and Respect are key.
In Grandparenting and Adolescent Adjustment in Two-Parent Biological, Lone-Parent, and Step-Families from the journal of Family Psychology,
it explains that kids flourish with Grandparents.
When our lives or households are topsy turvy, kids find solace with their beloved Grandparents.
So we mulled through our story and history and related to precisely what was an eye-opener.
The wonderful aging parent of yours is so helpful; you appreciate them. Your kids are benefiting beyond belief in such a rough patch in your life and their lives.
How can any of this be a bad thing?
With some of these tips and reminders, all involved can flourish.
The time is now to nestle down with that comfy couch throw blanket, slow deep breaths, and an open mind while we delve into this wonderful topic!
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Grandparents #singleparent
Messedandblessed
About this video: Listen up, single/blended parents, this one is for you; with this video, the tough subjects of when, where, and how Grandparents are utilized to assist Grandkids. The tips are there to enlighten a parent and help, so the assisting Grandparent isn't left feeling used and feeling guilty. What is also highlighted are the attributes to having a Grandparent involved at turbulent times and what a child will gain. Many Grandparenting tips that won't want to be missed.
Night Owls vs Larks- Adjusting to your Blended Families sleep schedule
We did not know this but felt it was too good not to share: Morning Larks, a ground-dwelling bird has a molecular biological body clock and energy that runs faster than the actual time of the day.
They are most productive early in the day and are winding down by early evening. That is why often, "Early Birds" are referred to as those that can jump out of bed and move into the day swiftly; this attribute is from Morning Larks.
However, there is the switch to another loved and wise Bird, the Owl. They are known to sleep all day and work at night. The Schedule they hold is very opposite to the Lark.
We find it funny how the Owl is considered wise, and the Morning Lark is tagged as Happy and coined a "Fun bird."
Take a gander at your Blended Family-how. Many Larks do you have, and how many Owls?
When it's time to leave on an outing-whose still asleep as they Hoot Hooted all night? Or the opposite-its a lazy day, but your Morning larks are all buzzing around, making the sleep-in plan impossible. Either/or is frustrating. The sleep timeclock makes the whole Blended Family feels out of sync, which makes the rest of the week, weekend, and life out of sync. Taking into consideration, it is a definite issue we have heard from numerous Blended Families. We couldn't resist tackling the subject matter! Grab your coffee or cold compress, whichever you need, Owl or Lark, and let's get started!
Episode 34 starts now-Night Owls vs. Larks- Adjusting to your Blended Families sleep schedule. Stay tuned for the goodness!
You will also be able to Download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
***Download OUR Free Gift here:
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW
We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional and insightful approach.
Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency and grief counseling.
Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #MorningLark #Nightowl
TheLarkOwlscale
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About this video: The Episode is an overview of Blended Families' trials when there is a Lark-Owl Dichotomy: When Sleep Patterns Diverge. Included is what works and how to Prevent Bedtime battles with your blended family. You will learn descriptions of Lark vs. Owl sleep behaviors and what will occur if not handled properly. Sleep exhaustion is real, and so is Sleep Hygiene; continue to this Episode where you learn it all.
5 Tips with work Burnout and to not lose your cool in Your Blended Family
"Working 9 to 5 What a way to make a livin' Barely gettin' by It's all takin'
And no givin' They just use your mind And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you Crazy if you let it"
We can still hear Dolly Parton belt it out circa 1980. If you weren't born yet, google the song and listen and relate to the lyrics. The struggle is real.
If you Google Work Burnout or Exhausted parent, a vast array of information comes forward. We will review today the characteristics you may be feeling, such as Irritability, Forms of Low productivity, lack of excitement for what you do, dropping job performance. At home, you may notice a Negative attitude toward yourself and your blended family and a loss of enjoyment of any activity. Then physically negative symptoms occur, including but not limited to Sleeping problems, sometimes with teeth grinding.
So you have read this so far and realize-THIS IS ME! What now, where to go? We have it right here, right now! We will be reviewing 5 Tips that will help you get started out of this Job Burnout Trap and begin loving on your Blended Family again.
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #jobburnout #exhaustedparent
Messedandblessed
About this video: We all have job stress and low energy on occasion. This episode makes the point that Job Burnout is real and so is low motivation in Blended Families. With the 5 tips to cope with those stressors, you will feel less alone as each coping strategy is reviewed. To begin the New Year without this weight on you is a must! Stop with the“I’m Exhausted!”. Tune in here for the realities of Job Burn Out and Blended Parent burnout-This Ones For You-Tired Parents!
How to help kids adjust to the different households
It's a heartbreaking scene when we think back.
One kid is holding his clothes for the week in a plastic grocery bag, although you bought him a nice duffle bag to carry his personal items back and forth between the homes. Or the little daughter who is gearing up for a busy week at the Other Natural Parents home, knowing she won't see much of her Dad as he travels a lot, and she will be mainly with her checked-out Bonus Mom and Bonus siblings. Transition Day as it's called in Blended Families is when the children change households from one parent to the other natural parent. One parenting time ends while the other starts.
Just writing this makes one crave a large glass of wine-now 2:30 in the afternoon. Is that too early? Can these terrible emotions be managed?
Can we equip the kids that have to do this house swap dance? That is the question, and that is what we will take a deep dive into today.
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #sharedparentingtwohouseholds #TransitionDay #Childadjustmenteasier
Messedandblessed
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About this video: Making Transitions easier for Children is this week's subject. In this episode, you will know and hear about the experiences kids have with 2 households along with equipping them for that house swap. Kids have a Transition Day and often it is overlooked when it comes to their habits, feelings, and comfort. The time you spend watching and reading you will leave with tools to help your children or child adjust to two homes.
Question/Answer time-You asked for it, we are doing it!
Blended Family Basics: Question and Answer time!
The moment has begun where you can say-Hey I feel normal! I am not alone! They deal with that issue too? We got some hearty questions from the Step Family Group we are part of, and they pertain to all of us!
We will share our relatable stories with your questions and generate comradery. The Blended Family life is lovely until it's not. Don't you wish you had some answers? Today, we will hear questions about Bonus children stating they hate the Bonus Parent. We will review questions on what's appropriate for the Ex posting photos on Social Media.
And we also will delve into the question of Child Support.
Let's do this!!! Insert your favorite song here to rock out, too, while becoming knowledgeable and confident. (Our Family Song- Jumprope" by Blue October is now playing over here!)
You will also be able to Download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
***Download OUR Winning at Blending Your Family Here:
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this Episode:
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSWWe can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #QandA #TribeofMentors #Messedandblessed #Questiontime
Check out the video of this podcast: https://youtu.be/iKDvS-_gy6Q
About this video: Have you had burning questions regarding your Blended Family and feel frustrated or isolated and alone? Of course, you do. This video reviews the topics of Bonuskids, stating they hate the bonus parent, the Ex that is posting pictures of your Spouse on Social media, and the dreaded Child Support question. Relatable stories around these questions are shared. You walk away from this video feeling not just more confident in how to handle your dilemma in your Blended Family; you realize you aren't alone! We support Blended Families, and we help you to keep working at yours!
Parenting 3 P's-Presence, Priorities and Purpose-What was one area of Bonus Parenting you weren't ready for?
Have you ever been around that "One" Family that you have a frazzled mess of nerves when you leave their presence? You wonder, did I listen to nails on a chalkboard for the evening, or was it that family dynamics that were so irritating? You even go as far as comparing how you parent to what you witnessed. You think we must minimize our distractions, and training with our kids will improve, or Tougher times call for Tougher parenting. It all becomes a disarranged pile, and confusion takes root. There are so many Truths and Myths around parenting. We all want to think we have the best parenting style, and we are raising well rounded, polite, caring humans, future amazing adults. But there is more to it. If you are in a Blended Family, there is MUCH MORE to it. Get your Parenting Management Hat on, and let's get started!
You will also be able to Download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
***Download OUR Winning at Blending Your Family Here:
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this Episode
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #Parenting101 #ParentinginBlendedFamilies #Bonuskids
Check out the video of this podcast: https://youtu.be/-w1o8HOq1yc
About this video: This video breaks down the three areas of Parenting, especially in Blended Families: one area-Presence, the Second area- Priorities, and the third area- Purpose. We review what distractions happen and where some training of the mind must begin. The Parenting Journey isn't easy, and in Blended Families, it can get especially tricky with Bonus children. This video will assist you in that challenge as personal stories are shared, and encouragement is double dosed. Blended Families are essential; learning what to do to keep yours thriving is what this video will do for you!
Self Care Crisis
Do you remember the song "Killing me softly," whether it was the originator Roberta Flack before Lauryn Hill updated it in the '90s?
The song is about vulnerability and how this woman is slowly emotionally dying hearing this man's music. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself-Am, I killing me softly with the schedule I keep? Am i killing me softly with The friends that aren't friends in my life? Or my inability to get real sleep, my caffeine intake, and now I am putting my Blended Family before my health?
We, Joey and Dell, are both RN's. We are used to the Medical community version of Self Care. "Self-care is any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated," says Google.
In other words, will this person be able to care for themselves after their health crisis? We are not talking about brushing your teeth, feeding yourself, walking to the restroom., etc. This is more a question- are you balancing every area of your life, especially in the busy-ness of your Blended Family. Do you know what you need?
We are reviewing what Self Care is in your life-what that looks like and how we had to start doing some things and stop doing others. Fun times!
You will also be able to Download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
***Download OUR Winning at Blending Your Family Here:
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this Episode
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #SelfCare #knowyourlimits #Sleepneeds
Check out the video of this podcast: https://youtu.be/coUu9LGcMyw
About this video: What is Self Care really? This video addresses the places you could start a Self-Care Action Plan. You will hear about Joey and Dell and where there were missing ingredients in their Self Care trying to get by with a busy Blended family. If you need a pamper routine or just want to start cultivating unconditional self-worth look no further, this episode is for you and your Blended family.
Authentic You-When the Blended Family life has you twisted or contorted!
Shout out to myself because I'm Lit." Oh, to believe this and sport a T-shirt or mug with pride-especially in front of the Blended Family. Instead, one tiptoes around trying to be what we believe our new existence in our Blended Family needs.
Being wrought with self-doubt is weighty and compromises your health, dignity, and happiness, but the uncertainty continues. Long are the days of being you first and reflecting with a smile later. Instead, it feels like a rerun of thoughts plagued with questions constantly-wait, was I suppose to smile then?
What was the expectation with my Bonus Kids' mother- one minute, I open the door and get a friendly wave; next week, it's a cold transaction with no warning.
Do I spice this homemade recipe as I would typically do it, or now do I wait on a family poll?
Can I help him with his Algebra without offending his Bio Dad?
I went from single for five years to now dating- why am I purchasing Spanx?
Who Am I!! Welcome to the new change called Blended Family Life.
And boy do we have a lot to share on this topic!
You will also be able to Download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
***Download OUR Winning at Blending Your Family Here:
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
[x] Show Notes and Resources shown in this Episode
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW. We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling. Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
---Connect with Joey and Dell---
Email: JoeyandDellNolen@gmail.com
---Connect with Joey and Dell on Social Media---
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
JoeyandDellNolen #Blendedfamilies #AuthenticYou #Pleasedontfakeit
RealMe
Check out the video of this podcast: https://youtu.be/IQOfbWwNyEI
About this video: This video addresses the changes that occur in oneself as the Blended Family grows. These changes can sometimes be difficult when one's self-identity gets lost in the Blended Family mix. If you have lost your authentic self along the way, this video will encourage you to make a YOU comeback!
Google a New Years resolution; here is the top 7 on the list:
Learn Something New Each Day, Pick Up a Hobby, Play More, Eat Fewer Calories, Write a Business Plan, Move More, Read More Books, and it goes on and on and on!
We could COVID the list a bit and add-wash my mask daily and carry hand sanitizers in every purse, backpack, and briefcase. Change my pillowcase often.
But this lacks the Blended Family Bliss we all need for 2021!
So let's take a hard look at this challenge we are facing.
We want more for our Blended Family; heck, some of us want to blend in general!
But there has to be more at hand. Here's a thought:
Instead of looking at our current wounds from 2020, why not draw from the scars?
As stated in a recent Podcast from Ms. Rachel Hollis, she spoke of getting strength from what we have learned from our scars. Was 2020 full of moments that left you scarred now? If so, let's ask ourselves how to turn relevant pain into positives for Your Blended Family!
We, Joey and Dell, share the last year's events, good and challenging, and how 2021- the year the whole gang can be excited.
**We'd love to give advice as well, so email us atjoeyanddellnolen@gmail.comRate, review, share, and subscribe to our podcast, and thank you for your support!
Subscribe to our mailing list, and get a free gift by clicking on our website below. don't miss out on our upcoming resources and freebies!
Download OUR Free Winning at Blending Your Family Here: https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
Follow us on our Social Media pages:
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
What Kind of Co-parent are you?
Big Statement Alert; "Your Ex is not your Child's Ex" -DK Simineau.
Logically that makes sense. But then the crowdings of hurt, past failures, and blame begin between you both.
Cooperative vs. Toxic Co Parenting-Which one resonates?
If someone outside was looking in at your Co-parenting with the Other Natural Parent, what would they say?
Do you feel at a loss as the Coparent you deal with isn't cooperative?
Today we will pursue those questions; as severe as this subject is, we know how important it is, especially for your children. Tune in for episode 25; What Kind of Co-parent are you? right now!
You can also download our Free Winning at Blending your Family which gives you tools and apps that will better your day to day challenges in your Blended Family.
⭐⭐⭐Download OUR Winning at Blending Your Family⭐⭐⭐
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
**We'd love to give advice as well, so email us atjoeyanddellnolen@gmail.comRate, review, share, and subscribe to our podcast, and thank you for your support!
Subscribe to our mailing list, and get a free gift by clicking on our website below. don't miss out on our upcoming resources and freebies!
Download OUR Free Winning at Blending Your Family Here: https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
Follow us on our Social Media pages:
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell
🔳 Show Notes and Resources shown in this video
For Counseling Services to assist You and Your Blended Family: Bethany Bice Wilcox, MSSW, LCSW
We can attest from 3+ years with Bethany as our Family Therapist we would not be where we are now without her consistent, professional, and insightful approach. Bethany has been a psychotherapist since 1988. Her specialties include Christian and Nonreligious counseling, marriage counseling, blended families, depression/anxiety, communication/problem solving, anger management, sexual abuse recovery, adult children of alcoholics, women's issues, codependency, and grief counseling.
Among other therapeutic modalities, Bethany is trained in and uses EMDR and Lifespan Integration (LI).
Contact Bethany at bethanycounseling@gmail.com or bethanycounseling.com to book your session!
About this Episode: The Blended Parent warriors know that knowledge and grace are power. This episode will assist you in determining if you are cooperative or toxic in your Coparenting—the topics of handling a non-cooperative Coparent in addition to healthy Coparenting techniques. A reminder as always; you are essential to this Community, and so is your Blended Family.
About this Episode: In this episode, we explore what life and holiday gift-giving look like with 6 kids, all of different ages. We share our story of crazy-making moments and joyous solutions. Keep watching for a solution to your Blended Family Gift problem. Another reminder; Community is so important, and so are you and your Blended Family!
Christmas and Holiday Group Gift, Say What? When you have many ages in Your Blended Family
My favorite thing about Christmas in a blended family? Making new and keeping old traditions. It's a time when you can write your own fun so to speak. But the gift shopping, purchasing, and wrapping. Ba Hum Bug leaks out in mutterings while hunched over, wrapping the 99th item.
Where did that "All is calm, all is bright" Spirit go?
The problem is this: You have a teen and then a 7-year-old. Or maybe a couple of school-age kids plus a toddler. How does this make for a comfortable, memorable gift giving? Do you want to make the whole group happy and not break your budget in the process -then this is the information for you! We will give you the story of OUR journey down the road of Gift-giving with our kids of ALL ages and keeping the Peace all the way into the New year.
Grab yourself a Gingerbread cookie and settle in for our Christmas and Holiday Group Gift, Say What? When you have many ages in your Blended Family.
We'd love to give advice as well, so email us at
joeyanddellnolen@gmail.com
Rate, review, share, and subscribe to our podcast, and thank you for your support!
Subscribe to our mailing list, and get a free gift by clicking on our website below. don't miss out on our upcoming resources and freebies!
Download OUR Free Winning at Blending Your Family Here:
https://joeyanddellnolen.com/winningatblendingyourfamily/
Follow us on our Social Media pages:
http://www.JoeyandDellNolen.com
http://www.Facebook.com/JoeyandDellNolen
http://Instagram.com/JoeyandDell