Podcast – Gaysi: Recent Episodes
None
TW- trauma, fatphobia
Individual acts of self-love and acceptance are often termed as radical and rebellious, even as we seek to normalize such behaviours, especially among those of us who have been marginalized due to our socio-economic locations. Nevertheless, often emancipating oneself from normative binds result in some sort of resistance from those who perpetrate these toxic normative standards. Take, for example, fatphobia; the irrational fear of being fat. We are sent conscious and subliminal messages that being thin is a requirement to aspire for beauty, health, and love. We have to fight to earn and deserve that love. We are constantly surrounded by myriad capitalist forces like movies, magazines, fashion, and more that reiterate being thin as the ideal. So even when you want to accept yourself, you are hindered in this journey because you can’t find clothes in your size in stores, or a family member is being judgemental, or you’re being bullied by a medical healthcare provider, or a hundred other things screaming at you that you ought to become thin. Pallavi and Ameya are two individuals who know these struggles all too well and have taken it upon themselves to publicly combat these notions through their podcast called Fat.So?
Each episode starts off with both of them proudly proclaiming that they are fat and that they love eating a favorite dish or wearing that sexy dress or kissing that cute person or doing something else that society thinks is only for thin people. Each episode is a conversation about fatphobia and toxic societal standards that includes both systemic issues and personal experiences. It’s their contribution towards building a community of anti-fatphobic people that dismantle normative notions like fatness being equated with being unloved or being unhealthy.
It all started when one sassy fat person met another sassy fat person and they decided to be sassy and fat together. Ameya and Pallavi are two scintillating people who have the heart of a rebellious teenager and the collective experience and knowledge of someone who has lived through over 4 decades of malevolent body expectations being thrust upon them. They met at a plus-sized women’s gathering in 2019 and each felt an instant attachment towards the other which led to the creation of the podcast. Their idea was to help other people like themselves in their individual journeys of self-love and acceptance, disregarding whatever the world is saying to recognize that they are wonderful and beautiful just the way they are.
While sharing their story with Gaysi, Ameya said that she was fat since she was 8 and that although it started with overeating, she has continued to remain fat which led to differences between her family and herself as they would try to tell her to eat less, bribing her with Barbie dolls, and asking her to exercise more. She adds that although her family was supportive of her as an individual, it was the kids at school and her crushes that were brutal. Things changed when she had to go live in New York where she could wear that sexy dress and date that cute boy.
Pallavi was as young as five when she was put on a diet. She said that she was constantly made to believe that no matter her intellectual or social achievements, she still wouldn’t be worthy of love if she continued to be fat. These kinds of things have long-term mental and emotional consequences that both of them have to deal with even after all these years, and so, their journeys of self-acceptance are just that - journeys that they are going through with both bad and wonderful experiences. Both of them recognize that they’ve come a long way and so this podcast is a way for them to provide a safe space for other people like them.
Both emphasize the systemic teachings that act as the root cause for fatphobia. We are surrounded by family, school, healthcare, and other systems that influence our thoughts and actions. Even if we are not explicitly told that being fat is bad, we see other people going on diets, refusing to eat certain foods, we see that the protagonist has a thin body and the hottest person of interest is in love with her. Children pick up these things and internalize them which means that they learn that being fat is bad and that lesson sticks with them as they grow up.
Pallavi suggests that medical practitioners need to be actively involved in conversations regarding fatness and health since neither being thin nor fat guarantees health. Unhealthy scales of measuring weight loss like the BMI (Body Mass Index) continue to be used across gyms and other fitness centers. In an episode dedicated to fatphobia in the medical field, Ameya and Pallavi discuss how doctors have dismissed their health concerns and asked them to lose weight and have also pushed them to get fat reduction surgery even if they had personally decided against it. Pallavi adds that schools also need to talk about diversity in all body types without being judgemental that being fat means being unhealthy, lazy, unworthy, etc. Ameya says that we need to normalize the use of fat as an adjective rather than a mark of character because language plays such a significant role in shaping our identity and this is something that is emphasized multiple times throughout the podcast as well: to stop using fat as a slur and casually commenting on someone’s weight. Ameya also suggests that public seating should cater to bodies of all sizes, which is why armless seats are always better according to her.
But where did fatphobia come from? “Back in the 19th century black women’s bodies were cast as “wrong”, and there began a push to differentiate chaste and Christian white women from the sexualized, “impure”, “dirty” black bodies. Curly hair, dark skin, and bodies with shape [besides thin] and fat became bad things” Ameya says. “And racism has its roots in a movement in the Western World where people felt that they could gauge a person's character and personality and “fit to a moralistic, virtuous” society based on how they look. So everything that was “not white skin”, curvy, curly, etc became a terrible thing to have”, Pallavi explained.
Am I surprised that the West is involved in toxic standards? Not really. Even now, after all that we have been through because of this pandemic, Ameya thinks that it’s a time where we are more vulnerable to eating disorders because our body is trying its best to cope with this stress and anxiety, and being stuck at home means we have more and more goals about what we eat and how we look. Pallavi thinks each individual has their own unique lifestyle and stress response and so the increased attention on our bodies to look thin is more in focus, which means even with social media content on the exacerbation of mental health being more important than whether one gets fat or thin doesn’t radically change our perception of being healthy and fat. Pallavi also adds that being fat is seen as something people have “control” over, so it’s easy to criticize people about it.
Speaking of social media, the representation of fat people needs to be discussed. In one of their episodes, Pallavi and Ameya talk about how fat people are usually represented as something negative and that their beauty and joy come only when they become thin. Pallavi also talks about how there is this assumption that fat people are automatically submissive and people pleasers because they are fat and ashamed of themselves. Both of them emphasize that representation should involve a fat person content with themselves and the focus should not be on their weight or their size. Ameya adds that although having a fat protagonist is the first step, we need fat people just doing their thing as friends, extras, and other humans in the world.
We also need to normalize body diversity and all body shapes and sizes. Standard clothing sizes at malls need to change as a first step to include all sizes. In the podcast, Pallavi talks about her lovely tailor who makes her all the kinds of clothes she wants when she can’t find her size and Ameya laments that for her to find her size, she usually looks at international brands because Indian brands don’t stock clothes for her size. She suggests looking at Universal Standard, a brand that has clothes for every body size.
Being in love with oneself shouldn’t come with a standard for being a certain shape, size, or weight, but thus is the product of socialization. And though Pallavi and Ameya can’t relate to the experience of being queer and fat, Ameya imagines it’s worse for queer people because they are further marginalized and offers her opinion that gay men likely encounter fatphobia more than straight men, for instance.
Their discussions about body neutrality particularly resonated with me. That being okay with one’s body is important because we are always surrounded by so much hate that loving it might be difficult and requires a lot of effort and time. To free oneself from normative body image, Ameya suggests that one needs to get used to looking at their body, especially naked. Pallavi suggests researching on fatphobia, fat liberation, and so on, especially from fat people who create this kind of content instead of “experts” who aren’t fat and don’t experience fatphobia. They both add that looking for a community is important. Especially while online, exposing ourselves to all kinds of body types and learning to be comfortable with that is a crucial experience in these times of containment. Self-love and acceptance aren’t easy and it takes time and effort and there will be relapses, but we must take deep breaths and stick with ourselves because we are worth the effort.
Listen to the podcast here.
https://open.spotify.com/show/3It7p4RaTr8M6p8Qto4MYJ?si=QjidmYcbQ2WraXVeqiNIog
The post Fat. So? Fatphobia. NO. appeared first on Gaysi.
Identity. It’s a puzzling concept.
I am a man. I want to dance as a woman. I do not want to be a woman.
Drag?
Dance, art, any form of artistic expression should not be confined to a set of limitations or rules. Rules within a concept as fluid as gender achieve nothing but restrict the artist from their full potential of silent articulation. So why cling onto a tradition within a society that has spent its modern years fighting for this freedom of expression.
We sat down and spoke to Raheem Mir; a dancer, an actor, and I guess you could call him somewhat of an activist. Through his performances, Raheem has challenged the concept of gender roles within Kathak. Exploring an artist’s outer aesthetics and immersing them within a community that dictates long-established and conventional roles in society.
Kathak is one of eight forms of Indian classical dance. Its roots derive from the North of India, and its history travels across the country, having now reached out to every corner of the globe. It started in the ancient temples of India and expanded to the courts of the Mughal emperors. Kathak has slowly begun to shed its original identity of being a simple form of story-telling and has begun to delve into an abstract exploration of rhythm and movement.
Even so, we continue to turn a blind eye to those who not only want to explore new rhythms, but also want to venture into a world of gender ?uidity. Why doesn’t our culture allow a man dress like a woman and perform with as much respect and authority as a woman portraying a female voice? Why is it immediately seen as a ‘comedy act’? Is it wishful thinking to believe it should receive a response as indifferent as that received by a women swanning around the 1920s in a pair of skinny jeans?
Have a listen to the podcast, keep an open mind, and don’t take the idea of a padded bra too lightly.
The post Gender Identity: Artistic Expression Vs. Aesthetic Oppression appeared first on Gaysi.
We might think that bullying is a game, an inconsequential activity restricted to the playgrounds and the walls of the school compound, but the reality is far from it. Ever wondered what does bullying look like in college? How deep can the wounds of the same be and how substantial its aftereffect?
Listen to this podcast where Gaysi invited four students from Ruia College to talk about their experience of bullying.
And oh boy - these students did talk and how! From calling women "a flat screen" to being taunted for being too tall or not fit enough, from being outed without their consent to being isolated by their peers for expressing their romantic inclination for a same sex person - these girls have poured out their hearts and have shown the scars they've gained while being on the ephemeral journey we call the College life!
Listen to this refreshingly honest conversation, and tell us what do you think. Does bullying still feels like a child’s play to be ignored?
The post Gaysi Podcast 12 : Bullying of LGBT Youth In India appeared first on Gaysi.
Alrighty then!
We're back, like Arnold keeps coming back (he doesn't know when to stop, and we don't either…yaaaaaah), with our very first podcast of 2015!
Our usual queer suspects - MJ & Priya, get into it with Sonal Giani and Kanishk Chaudhary, with a cameo by Tulsi Mehta. And this time they're talking about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Marriage of Convenience!
Marriage of Convenience. Also known as MOC. But is it really? Convenient, that is? Seems to us that it's convenient for everyone but the poor couple. Then why do people do this, you ask? (Good question. You get 178953 points for that!) That is exactly what we wanted to figure out.
Sooooo we got down to talking about this pink elephant in the room (pink, because it's gay, damn it.) And covered some pretty pertinent questions. Is this arrangement problematic? Is it okay if it's convenient for both parties and not just one person? Why do we think this should not happen? If we allow queer people to get into an MOC, will it dilute our fight against 377? And of course, the big one -- are people who get into MOCs victims or villains?
The podcast gang had some mixed opinions, as usual. Opinions were flung back and forth. And MJ was being, well, MJ. Listen as our podcasters put on their rainbow-coloured gloves and hash it out!
(Disclaimer: No Kanishkas were harmed in the making of this podcast.)
The post Gaysi Podcast 11.0 : Marriage of Convenience appeared first on Gaysi.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed on Gaysifamily.com, including this podcast are those of the contibutors and do not necessarily state or reflect the views of Gaysifamily.com
We're ....BACK. The Gaysi Podcast IS BACK! While you are desperately trying to hold onto your knickers despite the excitement, let's tell you bit about what we spoke about - some...thing that gets all our Queer knickers in a twist. I don't know about you but...
Participants (In order of awesomeness) : MJ, Chicklet Chopra, The Rioterrr, Fishead & QC.
I see Straight People everywhere. Our cities are swarming with their straight color-blocking (As opposed to rainbow), mechanical commuting (As opposed to unicorns that fly), hetero-hetero (As opposed to no-homo-you-FOMO. there's a hashtag in there somewhere...) selves.
So we decided we must figure this out. All us Gaysi Gals carefully locked away our brains (as is typically the case when we do one of these things..this time Chicklet took it seriously.) and a spectucular Newb member of the Gaysi team - "The Rioterrrrr" , got chatting for a bit and you know what?
We figured straight people out.
NOT. But we do love them.
And we had Questions.
Darn good ones that go like:
Do Straight People really exist or are they just pretending to be straight? What this ridiculous Conversion Ratio that Rainbow people talk about? Should they be allowed to ask us Dumb Questions? Also, the newb Gaysi member, "The Rioterrrrr" had a bit of a instant crush on a certain lady-in a-black tshirt-with-Short Hair-who spoke-Bengali-who she saw in a-coffee shop-with her-friend-in-Bangalore-last month and wanted to go - Call Me Maybe? #MissedConnections
Phew. This matchmaking business is hard work...what, with these young ones and their hormones all over the place.
Anyyyywayyyy...You'll find all this and more in this month's brilliant comeback of the Podcast - Go listen ! Now! Chop chop!
The post Gaysi Podcast 10.0 : I See Straight People appeared first on Gaysi.
This morning, our lovely MJ was radio talking with Hrishikesh Kannan (Radio One 94.3) about the 5th edition of Dirty Talk. While MJ sounds intelligent and confident (who knew she could do that!), she also has this streak of seriousness in her voice! MJ behaving serious? Blasphemous! Anyway, listen in and give MJ your lovely words of confidence!
[display_podcast]
The post Gaysi Team Gets Dirty On Radio One appeared first on Gaysi.
Fishead : MJ, Chicklet, I make mixes. Deep and progressive house mixes. Some chill-out also. Some funk as well.
MJ, Chicklet : Oh yeah? What's that?
Fishead : Basically dik-chik but smoother and nicer. And sexy too.
Fishead : Can I put em up on Gaysi?
Fishead : I'm a bit fed up of Madonna and Jab we Met remixes at gay parties. Maybe other people are too. Also Salman sucks.
MJ goes red and pulls out a stone-age club out of her pants. Chicklet calms her down and puts stone-age club back in her pants.
Fishead : With big puppy eyes I'll mix in an EDM track requested by a Gaysi user every month? Plus I'll make nice posters for you.
MJ : Ok, but no more Salman bashing.
Fishead : Ok.
Note - The first ten minutes of the mix keeps it deep, and the funk kicks in after, peaking at about 30 minutes. If you like a track, just throw in a comment and I'll put the tracklist out.
The copyright of all tracks used in this podcast belongs to their respective owners. This mix is solely intended for listening and not for commercial use
[display_podcast]
The post Gaysi Podcast 9.0 : Interested In Funk Mixes? appeared first on Gaysi.
Nope. I didn't skip the wedding.
Greetings Gaysis! As summer sadly winds down and we start looking ahead to getting rid of our sexy beach bodies and piling on the pounds over the winter - we are now at a time when we must ponder our soon-to-be chubby selves !
As someone presently and delightfully round, I beat you all to it. So I take it upon myself to impart wise words of rolly-pollyness in the form of a brand new podcast. If Chicklet tells you it was her idea - Ignore her. She is still woefully thin.
Joining myself and limelight stealer Chicklet we have...
drumroll... of A Letter On Being Fat fame ....
in lights Nilofer ! applause
In many ways, this podcast is an Ode to Fat of all forms, gay or not, trans or not [pun really unintended!]. However, what we really get into is - Why is Fat...wrong ? Ostracized ? Disliked ? Frowned upon ? Everyone else's business?
Truth is the chubbiest baby in the room is likely the most adorable. The roundest uncle you know is also in all probability the funniest. The fat kid in school now is arguably the nicest. The overweight colleague is with little dispute the most generous. We have all had good experiences with fatness and fat folks. Yet - its a no-no. Throw it into the queer community and we have got ourselves a fabulous potboiler of discrimination of our own.
So join Nilofer, Chicklet and myself in wondering out loud ... Why !
[display_podcast]
The post Gaysi Podcast 8.0 : My Big Fat Gay! appeared first on Gaysi.
Its summer... and its Wedding Season ! Yay ! [ Or if you are on the meat market...you have our sympathies ] On this edition of the Gaysi Podcast, we delve into the topic of Gay Marriage with a stunning cast of chatterboxes...
The post Gaysi Podcast 7.0 : Gay Marriage appeared first on Gaysi.
I know I know…MJ announcing a Valentines Special anything is as good as BJP-Shiv Sena collation promising a corruption free existence in Mumbai in the upcoming BMC elections.
The post Gaysi Podcast 6.0 : The Valentines Day Special appeared first on Gaysi.