Hard Ticket to Home Video: Recent Episodes
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Let‘s wander through the forest again! Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 1: The Capture Of Bigfoot Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 2: Demonwarp Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 3: Night Of The Demon Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 4: Sasquatch: The Legend Of Bigfoot Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 5: Abominable Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 6: The Witch Who Came From The Sea Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 7: The Bigfoot Trap Schlocktoberfest XIV—Day 8: …
BIGFOOT! (2012) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A group of has-been actors and shock-rocker Alice Cooper in the woods run afoul of a Bigfoot. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Brad: Hello Boys! Happy Halloween! It’s been a long time… Brad: It has been a long time. HAS BEEN? …
The Six Million Dollar Man: The Secret Of Bigfoot Parts 1 and 2 (1976) Some BTS: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Cyborg against cyborg in a one fall rumble in the woods. Here are some of my observations as I watched the show: “Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive.” still one of the greatest …
The Badge, the Bible, and Bigfoot (2019) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Bigfoot in the woods runs afoul of Christians. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: All of the names in this are the Wright family. They invented flight and now this?? According to this song, it’s so easy …
Sasquatch Sunset (2024) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A family of Sasquatches in the woods run afoul of People. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Every day, I look at the world from my windowBut chilly, chilly is the evening timeSasquatch Sunset’s fine (Sasquatch Sunset’s fine) I should get …
I’ll be driving next year, you know what that means? Me neither. We will however be able to go to Central Avenue whenever we want to. Imagine living near there? I can’t. Look, I’m not gonna have a lot of achievements in life so lemme have this. Is this another Bigfoot movie? What the Hell’s …
Exists (2014) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: People in the woods run afoul of the Bigfoot. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Since 1967, there have been over 3,000 Bigfoot encounters in the U.S. alone. These are their stories… Isn’t Bigfoot strictly a U.S. thing, anyway? DID YOU SEE …
Bigfoot vs. Zombies (2016) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A Bigfoot fights some zombies. Look, I don’t want to give too much away here. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: All rise! Today we’ll hear the case of Bigfoot v. Zombies. Honorable Judge Hardticket is residing. Oh no. The …
We go from finally watching Star Wars on TV last month, to this shitty movie. What a difference a month makes. It can’t be worse than “Preppies” right? We walked outta that after a twenty minutes. All right, let’s sample a bottle… Curse Of Bigfoot (1975) The Whole Shit Show: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: …
Willow Creek (2013) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: People in the woods run afoul of the Bigfoot. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: I’ve always wanted to see a proper sequel to the beloved Warwick Davis fantasy movie, and now’s my chance! This is directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, so …
Night Of The Demon (1980) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: The horniest goddamn Bigfoot you ever did see. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: What’s with the Maxwell House coffee drip sound effect for the IV tube? Is this the music video for “One” again? Professor Nugent is the …
Demonwarp (1988) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: People in the woods run afoul of the Bigfoot. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Bigfoot came to Earth in a meteor? That meteor just looks like a ball of dirt. What a weird fucking career George Kennedy had. He won an …
The Capture of Bigfoot (1979) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Ski resort town has a small Yeti problem. Cops are trying to stop it. Some shady businessman wants to capture it to sell tickets. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Why does this video transfer look like an 80s …
Schlocktoberfest XIV is going all in on a short lived mania from 47 years ago. Will it hold up? Find out when everything is supposed to smell like pumpkin spice.
Schlocktoberfest XIV is gearing up to be a doozy folks. Find out if I’m right this October.
“They were actually lining up at the truck outside of Crazy Eddie for this one.“ – Nathan VanDersloss from his review, “The Gang At Schlocktoberfest Give Their Fan[s] An Aural Treat ” Cosmopolitan, August 1987. During a random mandatory monthly HTTHV warehouse clean-up, two boxes of this elusive vinyl gem were found next to an …
Let‘s review! Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 1: Friday the 13th Part X: To Hell and Back Schlocktoberfest XIII —Day 2: Too Scared to Scream Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 3: Halloween II Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 4: Friday the 13th: No Man’s Land Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 5: Death Screams Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 6: Graduation Day Schlocktoberfest XIII—Day 7: Friday the 13th: J’s Night Schlocktoberfest …
Friday the 13th – Never Hike Alone 2 Full Movie: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Continuing where Never Hike Alone and Never Hike in the Snow left off, Tommy Jarvis joins up with Hiker Kyle to rid the world of the plague that is Jason Voorhees for good! Here are some of my observations …
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Meet the new Jason. Same as the old Jason. Here are some of our observations as we watched the film: Brad: He’s already been to Manhattan in the 80s, wasn’t that hell enough? Brad: And what did Hell ever do to deserve …
Wow. Two years can go by so quick, yet here we are still watching made-for-TV horror movies. See? This is why all our cool shit is under fire. All our fucking metal albums, our D&D, what’s next? Yeah I’ll watch it, but under protest. The Demon Murder Case (1983) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Kevin …
Friday the 13th – My Special Boy Full Movie: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: This movie is so “Special” Jerry Lewis should have a marathon for it. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: It still amazes me that none of these fan-made flicks got pulled from YouTube due to …
Friday the 13th – Vengeance 2: Bloodlines Full Movie: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Continuing where Vengeance left off, Jason’s still in the woods, Elias Voorhees (Jason’s papa) is still looking for him and The Jarvis girls are still looking for their papa Tommy. Maybe the title should be Friday the 13th: Search Party. …
Let‘s review! The Schlocktoberfest —Day 1: My Bloody Valentine The Schlocktoberfest —Day 2: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Schlocktoberfest —Day 3: The Hitcher The Schlocktoberfest —Day 4: Prom Night The Schlocktoberfest —Day 5: The Crazies The Schlocktoberfest —Day 6: The Town That Dreaded Sundown The Schlocktoberfest —Day 7: The Hills Have Eyes The Schlocktoberfest —Day …
Halloween (Weak)Ends (2022) Trailer: Check out our review of Halloween (2018) here! Check out our review of Halloween Kills here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: I can tell you what it’s not about—it’s hardly about Michael Myers or Laurie Strode. I can tell you that much. Here are some of my observations as I watched …
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) Another one where I have to review the original. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Bodies being snatched, Nimoy acting emotionless, chaos in the streets of San Francisco, and dogs with human faces. Mass hysteria! Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Is this a …
Halloween II (2009) No one’s done the original? Holy shit. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Second. Worst. Remake. Ever. Here is my observation as I watched the film: This movie is even fucking worse. Final Thought: There’s just no defending this one. Don’t care if you can mine one or two things that are …
Fright Night (2011) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Charley Brewster lives next door to Jerry Dandridge, who happens to be a vampire. And he’s not the friendly kind of vampire either! You definitely don’t want to borrow a cup of sugar from this guy. And don’t even think about lending him a power …
Poltergeist (2015) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Stupid family moves into a home that was built on land that used to be a cemetery. Same thing that basically happened in the 1982 original but with less Tobe Hooper and even way less Steven Spielberg. Here are some of my observations as I watched the …
Night of the Demons (2010) Read my review of the original here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Partygoers of wildly varying ages awaken an ancient evil: Edward Furlong. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Wow this movie has the precise exact same opening New Orleans party scene as …
The Omen (2006) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Oh Men and Women! Listen to this tale about a boy named Damien who happens to be the anti-christ! Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: I vaguely recall that the coming of the antichrist was foretold with the correspondence of a …
Rabid (2019) Read my review of the original here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Rose, a friendly St. Bernard, contracts rabies and conducts a reign of terror on a small American town. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: A mopedded woman narrowly misses driving into a dog and …
When a Stranger Calls (2006) Trailer: Check out my review of the original When a Stranger Calls here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: See there’s this stranger and he keeps calling. This stranger, he’s up to no good. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Who didn’t have caller ID in 2006? These people …
Halloween (2007) My review of the original is here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Worst. Remake. Ever. Here is my observation as I watched the film: This movie is fucking terrible. Final Thought: There are tons of debates out there pro and con for this movie, I didn’t want to tell the same jokes …
Mother’s Day (2010) Trailer: Check out my review of the original Mother’s Day here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Follows the lives of different mothers on Mother’s Day. Sandy (Jennifer Aniston) is happily divorced until she learns that her ex-husband eloped with a much younger woman. Now she must learn to deal with big changes …
Maniac (2012) Read my review of the original here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A young artist, searching for his vocation, makes a mannequin so perfect he falls in love with it. Finding the mannequin in a store window, he gets a job there and his creation comes to life. Here are some …
Black Christmas (2006) Trailer: Check out my review of the original Black Christmas here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A sorority house is being terrorized by a crazed lunatic on Christmas Eve. Where is campus police when you need them?! Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Good ol’ Dimension. We …
The Fog (2005) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: After a 100 or so years, the port town of Antonio Bay is having a little celebration but the town’s founders were assholes who picked over some seafarers out of some gold and stuff and now a menacing fog is taking action. Deadly action. Here …
Children of the Corn (2009) Read my review of the original here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: PEAS??!! There’s only one side dish these kids are willing to eat for dinner! Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: I’ve never understood the title of this song, “Bringing in the …
Piranha (2010) Trailer: Check out my review of the original Piranha here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Cute little piranha Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: More Alexandre Aja. Yippee. HOWEVER! The best Richard Dreyfuss cameo ever reprising an old grizzled Matt Hooper on a fishing dinghy drunkenly singing Show …
It Chapter Two (2019) I guess I’m gonna have to review the old one twice. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: It. Again. Stupid. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Hello to the two people reading this that are not named Brad or Brian. We start right off with Beverly’s …
The Crazies (2010) Trailer: Check out our review of the original The Crazies here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: Small mid-west town has a crazy people problem and it’s up to the sheriff, his pregnant doctor wife, his deputy and some other young lady to avoid the crazies and try to get out of …
Prom Night (2008) Trailer: Check out my review of the original Prom Night here! Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: It’s senior prom! And there’s no way Donna and her besties are going to miss out despite the fact that Donna’s family was slaughtered by her former teacher because he was obsessed with her …
The Hitcher (2007) Read my review of the original here. Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A cowboy tries to break the record for most horses tied to a post within an hour. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: According to the U.S. Department of Transportation an estimated 42,000 people …
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A few kids(?) [older teens perhaps—maybe in their 20s—I really don’t know] run afoul of a deranged cabal of sadistic backwoods killers while en route to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Free Bird indeed. Here are some of my observations as I watched …
My Bloody Valentine (2009) So this year we’re doing reviews of remakes of movies we’ve already reviewed over the past 73 years of doing this. We hope you enjoy it as much as we don’t. My review of the original Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A raucous British man makes a pub bet that …
If the Hutts were gathering in Moe Espa, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Mos Espa hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking Bounty Hunters …
Let‘s review! Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 1: Houseboat Horror Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 2: The Final Terror Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 3: DeepStar Six Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 4: Evil Spawn Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 5: Hellbound Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 6: Alison’s Birthday Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 7: Intruder Schlocktoberfest XI – Day 8: Sleepwalkers Schlocktoberfest …
Halloween Kills (2021) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What‘s This About: Taking place right when Halloween leaves off (the newer movie also named Halloween, from 2018), follow the continuing adventures of Laurie Strode and her daughter and granddaughter; Officer Hawkins, who miraculously survived getting fatally stabbed in the neck, and unstoppable, evil-personified boomer, Michael Myers. as they meet …
The Thirsty Dead (1974) The whole thing: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: A very weak blood sacrifice for immorality cult thing. This is not a left-over of mine, it’s a jump back in time to a living room in 1981. Kind of. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: • So …
Mutant War (1988) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What‘s This About: Like its critically-acclaimed predecessor, this is set in a post-apocalyptic landscape and Harry Trent tries to help a young girl rescue her sisters from a group of armed mutants that are being led by a human madman. This was a leftover review for Schlocktoberfest IX: Schlock Nine …
The Last House on the Left (1972) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: The creators of both Freddy and Jason team up in their first feature to deliver… this… Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: So this is the final entry in the trilogy of movies my dad …
Galaxy Destroyer (1986) (AKA Battle For the Lost Planet) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What‘s This About: I watched this 2 years ago and I didn‘t have time to rewatch it (nor desired to) so I‘m a little fuzzy on the details. Here‘s the synopsis from imdb: After hijacking a space shuttle, a spy finds that the controls …
Hatchet (2006 or 2007, it’s really not clear for some reason) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: The Season 4 premiere of Duck Dynasty. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Robert Englund! The mark of quality! Well, with the exception of 90% of his movies. He and his redneck …
Freddy‘s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What‘s This About: Read the title. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Yet another Elm Street movie that starts with a dream quote. This time by Nietzsche. Like these filmmakers who made this movie, ever read Nietzsche. Nightmare Ave. from The …
Ghoulies II (1987) Trailer: Spoilers Throughout What’s This About: The ghoulies face off against the carnies in a battle to determine who is slimier. Here are some of my observations as I watched the film: Oh god here we go…. So if you’ll recall, and you should because it got national media attention, …