Coffee Flavored Horror: Recent Episodes
CF Horror
Horror movies and TV shows from anywhere and everywhere are up for discussion here. The question we ask is the movie worth watching again or will Jerry drink the dreaded coffee.
It's a holiday hiatus. We'll be back in January 2024 with more episodes of Coffee Flavored Horror
Have you ever felt like you were being watched by an unstoppable masked killer who wanted to pin you to a wall with a knife and then admire their work? No? Well check out Halloween form 1978 to see what I'm talking about and then listen to Jerry and John talk about this classic horror movie.
We're back with another anthology movie but this time it's fairy tales filmed for the modern day. Well, if the modern day was the 80's and an overly horny uncle was telling them to an annoying nephew who wouldn't go to sleep. There's a witch story that's a lot like Hansel and Gretel, a Little Red Riding Hood story, and a Goldilocks and the Three Bears story. Enjoy as John and Jerry laugh a lot about this bad fun movie.
It's the Outsider but it's not as good. This movie was shot in a castle that's awesome for 500 grand. It went right to video so it doesn't have a rating. It's all kinds of messed up and it's got some of those Lovecraft vibes. Check out why Jerry admires it and John thinks its kind of trash.
What do you get when you combine two county folk with guns, a hospital, doctors that don't quite act right, and chthonian horror on a budget of $85,000. A better movie than it should be. It's also called The Void.
Tell me if you've heard this one before. Pinhead goes into a bar. Everyone dies. No. Not funny. Well maybe you should watch the movie then because it's equal parts awesome and gruesome. Plus, Jerry and John talk about all the highlights and lowlights of the film, especially the stuff that just doesn't make sense.
So what would happen if you dropped a girl who was part of a survivalist cult in the Australian outback into the middle of a home invasion movie. A bunch of dead home invaders. Were you expecting something pithy. Australian outback survivalist cultists don't really do pithy. They just kill you dead. That's also the major idea of this weeks movie. Your Next.
What we have today is a bunch of faces on jugs that have to do with sacrificing people to the pit. There might also be a backwoods cult involved. If you're as confused as I am then check out Jerry and John's discussion about Jughead. If you're not confused then you've probably seen the flick.
Jerry and John dive into their top five horror movie openings which include, sharks, accidents, dinosaurs, aliens, wires, slashers, and a little undead girl in a white dress.
Here's some choice quotes from the Autopsy of Jane Doe:
"What if the ritual preformed on an innocent accidentally created the thing they were trying to destroy."
"It's like finding a bullet in the brain with no gun shot wound."
"It's why we couldn't find the cause of death. She's still alive."
One, two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three, four, better lock your door.
Five, six, grab a crucifix.
Seven, eight, Gonna stay up late.
Nine, ten, never gonna sleep again.
Chewing Glass. Cheese Grating Skin. 180 Degree Boiling Baths. Wood-chippers used for Deadites. It's just another day for those living with the Books of the Dead. John and Jerry chat about buckets of blood as they review Evil Dead Rise.
What do you get when you bring 70,000 gallons of blood to a remake of a cult horror film? The new Evil Dead. It's a pretty bloody, gore filled, splatter fest and there even might be a cameo from an Evil Dead alum. You can hear about it all without opening a human leather skin covered book wrapped in barb wire on this episode of Coffee Flavored Horror.
Would you like some stew? It's delicious, filling, and will give you enhanced physical powers of strength and regeneration. What's in it? Well, there's a little bit of Jerry and a side of John as they talk about Ravenous this week. A movie about cannibalism and the curse of the Wendigo
What's the worst way you can think of for how a heist can go wrong? If you said a Kraken attacking the pleasure cruise ship you're about to steal from then you should get the lobster dinner because I didn't see that one coming. Neither did Harrison Ford or Jim Carrey who were slated to be on this film and both bowed out.
Art the clown is ready to unleash some of the most violent and brutal deaths in all of horror and we talk all about as we ponder the coffee flavored horror.
Join us as we discuss the 1986 sci-fi body horror film from Stuart Gordon and based on an H.P. Lovecraft story of the same name.
This film has goop, monsters, metamorphosis, dimensional shifting , Dholes, Mi-Go, man eating bugs, and a BDSM room. What more could you ask for.?
An amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past.
House on Haunted Hill - 1999 - Castle Rock Entertainment
Sometimes your best intentions are a death sentence. Either that or watch the exorcist so you have some amount of genre knowledge. Participate in the exorsism. Don't break it up and save the possessed girl.
Chat window conversations can make due when you can't just be with that special someone. But what happens when there's something in your loved ones home and all you can do is watch weirdness happen in the background. Also, what's up with that bump on your arm. Stop scratching it with a knife. No don't turn around. There's something there. Oh god. I'll be there as soon as I can
The G...c. i. .e.l. D..'t co.. .o t.. .oo.s. Yo. can o.l. s.. .t in r.c.r.i.g e....ment. The .lit.h is .eal. S.op i. if .ou c.n .u. mo...y, ..st st.. awa..
It's part two of VHS. This time we're covering Ti West's segment: Second Honeymoon. There's not a lot of good to say about this part unfortunately but we do love Pearl and X around these parts so tune in to see why we think this is the bad part.
We're talking about VHS. No, not the dead movie format. The movie, that's an anthology...so we're doing it in parts. Here's part 1. I Like You. Say with a whisper.
No one can hear you scream in space. It's Alien this week as we talk Space Jockeys, Face Huggers, and Chest Bursters. Enjoy the Coffee Flavored Horror in space.
We're talking about ghosts and their stories this week. Specifically the 13 ghosts from the movie Th1rt3en Ghosts from last weeks episode and the movie of the same name. You want to hear about tragic and violent ghost creation stories. This is the episode for you.
The black zodiac can open the eye to hell. All one needs is a 13th ghost to become the living sacrifice and ultimate power can be yours. Now that's a way too mythic opening for a movie that's just a lot of goofy ghost fun...with mass murder in the beginning. Maybe the whole movie should have been closer to the first scene.
Welcome to Fright Night...For Real.
We're talking vampires in a boy who cried wolf story who didn't really cry wolf. It's a lot of fun with some excellent monologues, fun practical effects, and the most charismatic vampire to ever grace the silver screen.
After a 500-pound black bear consumes a significant amount of cocaine and embarks on a drug-fueled rampage, an eccentric gathering of cops, criminals, tourists, and teenagers assemble in a Georgia forest. It's a fiasco. With a bear doing lines of Coke off of dismembered legs. We talk about it. It's ridiculous.
Food and horror are an unlikely if interesting combination. There are stories that have tried this. The Menu takes it a step further by combining high end cuisine, themes of class, art, and the deterioration of the mind under pressure, mixed with murder. If you haven't watched The Menu please do then come back and listen to our discussion of the movie.
Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old.
We're talking about the sexy rebellious brutal vampires from the 80's. That's right. It's The Lost Boys in this weeks installment of Coffee Flavored Horror
There's kids. There's Aliens. There's Bullies. There's dropkicks, swords, spaceship, face melting goo and more in this fun and at times terrifying movie. Enjoy as Jerry and Chris cover Kids vs Aliens.
Hush little baby don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird. Actually it was a Cockatoo but the bird didn't fare very well in this film. Nor did many mirrors. But if you want a story about Lilith and Lullaby's, crying babies and mirror dimensions, this is the movie for you. Or just listen to Jerry and John talk about it so you don't have to watch it and get a laugh or two.
We're talking about Snoop Dog being a revenant with reality warping powers from a castle grayskull looking house in the hood. It's a wild ride as we talk about BONES.
We're diving into the Cthulhu Mythos for this one as we talk about The Reanimator himself Herbert West. There's undead, lots of blood, and intestinal tentacle action in this film from 1985
Question. Name me a movie monster that is supposed to be a stomach that's turned inside out, has a malevolent streak, and gets bigger as it eats more living things?
Answer. The Blob
Stay in the light or the tooth fairy will get you. That's our advice while listening to this episode as we move from illuminated location to illuminated location. Just beware where the Darkness Falls.
It's unwanted body modification on the surface, hair metal just behind the ears, and commentary on a variety of topics in the back. It's a Strangeland.
What would you do if death gave you a vision? Would you avoid it with everything you had or just accept that your time has come? We're talking Final Destination Five today as death comes again. To make things more interesting, Mr. Bloodworth is taking a more active role with information about the rules of death. So let's get into the good, the bad, the cheesy, and the horrifying with Jerry and John.
This movie was terrible but the conversation was pretty fun. We talk about cats and people who are deathly allergic to them as we discuss Sleepwalkers, the 1992 film written by Stephen King.
Have you ever done a magic trick? How about trying to escape from a device you're strapped down to before you're impaled with seven swords? Maybe strap an occult mask to your cult leaders face and bury them alive? No. Well check out the Lord of Illusions as we chat about the good, the bad, the horrifying, and the horrifyingly cheesy.
Hey folks. What do you get when you have a 150 ft troll rampaging towards Oslo? How about a story about the folly of man and a tragic Troll who just wanted to mourn his family. Poor Timmy the Troll.
Look, up in the sky. It's a Bird. It's a plane. It's a...Jean Jacket?
We're talking about Nope by Jordan Peele. There's a lot of weird cloud animal murder of human peoples in this one, so if you haven't seen it, check it out or just listen to us talk about the good, the bad, the horrifying, and the horrifyingly cheese.
Links
- Gordy's Home Intro
We go back to the beginning. Where the gator came from. Why the pitchfork is important. Why Pearl hates blonds. And why Pearl's as violent and unbalanced as she is. It's a parent thing. Also, goose gate 2023.
What does a horny old lady, an alligator, and porn have in common? It's the movie X, which is what Jerry and John will be discussing on this episode of Coffee Flavored Horror.
Hey folks. Would you like to play baseball with a silver ball from hell? How about a very tall undertaker? Let's sit down and talk about Phantasm.
Do you like white water rafting? What about carnivorous fish that live in Texas? Let's talk about Piranha from 1978 and see how government fish that were experimented on cause all kinds of death and destruction.
How do you feel about puppets, marionettes, evil psychotic things that sit on the end of your hand? If you're interested check out this episode which features many such things. Dead Silence. Don't scream of Mary will get you.
What would you do if you found yourself at a racetrack and had a vision of a terrible accident where you and a large number of people around you died in a horrific accident? That's the set up for Final Destination four and the movie Jerry and John are discussing on this episode of Coffee Flavored Horror.
It's gooey sticky Faustian cosmic horror Cenobites from the original Hellraiser. Tune in for chat about skinless Franks, murderous glamming up by Julia, and Christy doing what she can to avoid death as Pinhead, Chatterer, Butterball, and the Nun do what Cenobites do.
Peter Capaldi and Hugh Grant star in this early role for both of them where they become embroiled in a snake ridden situation where an immortal priestess attempts to resurrect her dead snake god. You can also enjoy Jerry singing the song that's preformed in this episode. Catch the original version of the tune here.
It's new. It's shiny. It's got cenobites. It's got Leviathan. But does it hold a bloody hook to thee original? Jerry and John weigh in on the new Hellraiser in this episode. Come for the horror talk, stay to see if Jerry is drinking the horror flavored coffee.
It's a rollercoaster of death on this episode as Jerry and John get into the unknowable, unseeable, unavoidable, death as it runs down those who've avoided its plan. We're talking Final Destination 3 this week on Coffee Flavored Horror.
Keep away from Pumpkinhead,
Unless you're tired of living,
His enemies are mostly dead,
He's mean and unforgiving,
Laugh at him and you're undone,
But in some dreadful fashion,
Vengeance, he considers fun,
And plans it with a passion,
Time will not erase or blot,
A plot that he has brewing,
It's when you think that he's forgot,
He'll conjure your undoing,
Bolted doors and windows barred,
Guard dogs prowling in the yard,
Won't protect you in your bed,
Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead!
by Ed Justin
What does cotton candy and a popcorn gun have in common? It's Killer Klown's from Outer Space, which is the movie Jerry and John are discussion on this episode of Coffee Flavored Horror.
Jerry and John avoid death as they talk about the Good, the Bad, the Horrifying, and the Horrifyingly Cheese concerning Final Destination One and Two on the inaugural episode of Coffee Flavored Horror.