life fully loved: Recent Episodes
Laura Barker
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“Without awareness, there is no choice.” My yoga teacher said this and it got me thinking. This is EXACTLY what I do as a coach every day by helping people become more self-aware which results in seeing you have choices. You're not limited or obligated to choose one path over another. There's a third ... and more! ... that you can take.
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Learn what powerful looks like and, importantly, how to get there.
Moving forward, please note the change in my podcasting schedule. I'll be posting once per month starting in June.
Thanks for listening!
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It's time for a shift at Life fully loved. Tune in to learn more.
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Let me share my decision-making method which uses the left- and right-brain, thus combining the rational with the intuitive. You'll find yourself more confident about your choice, knowing clearly what exactly you need to do next.
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Trust is the foundation to building a healthy workplace culture. Then you add awareness (self and external) and you get alignment.
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All your answers lie within you. Learn how to get past the high barriers to entry due to external stimulation so that you can find that loving voice. There, you’ll find clarity.
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Do you feel like you belong or like you're trying to fit in? What's the difference (if there is one) anyway? This episode talks about what it means to fit in versus to belong and why you want the latter.
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If you're contemplating a career change - or know someone who is - listen to this episode for tips that I recently shared with a young woman looking to break into HR.
You don't need to be in HR to gain value from this episode because my advice applies more broadly.
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What kind of leader are you?
In a complex world that has just as many definitions of leadership as you can imagine, it can be hard to navigate your leadership style.
This edition of Life fully loved breaks down leadership styles and helps you figure out yours.
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Failure builds resilience. Leaders can build resilience in their teams by letting them fail. Yes, you heard that correctly :-)
Today I talk about how different generations view resilience so you can understand your teams better. You'll learn how resilience ultimately leads to better solutions and more goal achievement.
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When someone asks you for your opinion on someone, do you give it? When is it gossip ... and when is it appropriate? This episode dives into this topic by exploring confidentiality, the role of judgement, and how to determine your intent to give you signposts for what to do.
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Answer this question, quickly: which is more important to you - authenticity or integrity? Now, hold on to that answer and have a listen to this episode where I discuss the pros and cons of both qualities.
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Success begets success. My mom is a great example of it. She's turning 80 and has decided to learn Portuguese. Listen to this episode to find out how she does it ... and how you can too!
Click here for the link to the Maslow episode I reference in this week's edition of Life fully loved.
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You've hit a crossroads and decided which road to take. Now it's time for action! Listen to learn how to take effective, laser-focused, heart-based action.
As promised, click for the results of my action - coaching!
Career Focus gets you back on track by identifying what fulfils you.
Life fully loved is about leading from a place of strength.
Changemaker involves driving positive change, making a meaningful impact to your industry, community, the world.
Click here to sign up for a free 30-minute session and see what it's like.
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Developing one focus will get you through any crossroad by eliminating the extraneous.
Building on last week’s episode, here’s how you do it:
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Start with the end in mind.
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Mind the gap - Consider the impact of your habitual patterns on how you usually fill the gap between start and end.
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Focus - What must you eliminate in order to reach your endpoint?
Next week, I’ll share a solution for the best way to take action.
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Are you at a crossroads? I am. And as we start a new year, I'm debating whether to continue on this road or take another one. If you feel similarly about a person, event, or circumstance, listen in so you can apply my evaluation process in your own life.
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Shine Your Light! If there's one major theme that has emerged from 100 episodes of Life fully loved, "Shine Your Light" would be it.
I'm offering a $100 Lantern Gift Certificate between now and the end of 2023 to celebrate 100 episodes. Click link to purchase it now.
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Your Leader Within has many other names: inner voice, inner guidance system, and sage, to list a few. It guides you on the right path and is recognized by its loving, positive energy.
In this episode, learn multiple ways to identify and tune in to your Leader Within so you can be a light in the world.
Remind yourself that all of this is possible because of the underlying premise of free will. Tune in for more.
Here are the links for identifying your Leader Within:
- Get Present Newsletter / Podcast – 6 techniques
- Drink the Kool-Aid Newsletter / Podcast – understand love as the cornerstone of Leader Within
- Choose to See Things Differently Newsletter / Podcast - focus on the emotion behind your thought
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How do you stay present in a world of distractions?
This episode talks about your wiring - whether you're past- or future-oriented - and how that prevents you from feeling present.
I provide practical tools on ways to get present as well as a visualization you can listen to that can help you get into a state of flow. In a flow state, you are fully present.
Here's the hyperlink to my written blog so you can access the tools and visualization.
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I've recently realized that I'm ambitious. It's kind of shocking because I always saw myself as not ambitious. I figured out what led me to change and the key difference between me today and my 29-year-old self. Listen for more.
If you want to hear the previous episode I referenced about quitting work when our kids were young, click here.
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My phone busted over the weekend.
Three things happened as a result: missed calls, mixed messages, and lost connectivity.
My frustrating inability to communicate with the external world using the primary tool used today, the smartphone, got me thinking about (mis)communication in general.
Miscommunication causes confusion, misunderstanding, and even distrust. I asked myself,
What does good communication look like?
My answer brought me back to Marshall McLuhan: the medium is the message.
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Find your North Star by connecting purpose and vision. You’ll stay on course, maintain pace through your internal motivation, and reach your destination.
Start with your purpose. If you want to learn yours, attend my live-in-person workshop, Ignite Your Why! on Tuesday, November 21 at 7 PM.
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Most people experience Imposter Syndrome at one point in their life (or more!). And, while it may not feel good, it's usually a sign you're growing personally and/or professionally. Listen to this episode for the 12 warning signs you may have it after which I'll provide guidance on what you can do about it.
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I’ve done yoga a long time – 25 years, in fact – and I've learned so much from it. Key elements include body wisdom, emotions, energy, and breath. I'll discuss these core learnings on today's episode.
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Design means “creating and executing according to a plan or vision.” The principles of home design incorporate internal and external elements. Questions addressed in this episode include:
- What’s your (internal/external) design?
- Are you executing it in line with your goals?
- If there’s a gap between design and execution, what needs to change to create alignment?
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Land acknowledgements ask for accountability, not responsibility. By accepting "what is" you welcome healing. The true purpose behind land acknowledgement is about healing and, to be clear, this healing is for those we reference in land acknowledgments AND for you. Listen for more.
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Have you heard the Tale of Two Wolves? It illustrates the battle between good and evil. Each of us faces this inner conflict and must make a choice. Your response is what feeds the wolf. Listen for more.
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Drinking the Kool-Aid means different things to different people. Most people associate it with workplace culture these days but I want to place it in another context: love. Listen to learn more.
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Crafting your elevator pitch is an exercise that supports your personal growth and helps you define your own worth. You are meant to shine!
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Are you doing what you're meant to do? If not, listen to this episode and get my roadmap!
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Storytelling is powerful because it builds connection. Use it to share something about yourself when meeting new people and with old friends.
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My biggest mistake as a leader forced me to confront my saboteurs before I could learn the lesson(s).
Maybe I had to mess up to truly understand that leadership doesn’t require perfection; it just means showing up as my best self.
Listen to hear what happened and what I learned from it.
Positivity forms the basis of good physical and mental health. Creating positive feedback loops vis-à-vis your health helps you shake off challenges and get back to ease and flow more quickly. Achieve your peak wellness, positively, with the advice provided in this episode.
➡️See my Mental Fitness Webinar
➡️Join my Mental Fitness Waitlist
If you experience an adult temper tantrum, here's a way out that you can follow. Listen and learn more.
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Taking a catamaran along the coast of Hawaii highlighted what was important. When you know what’s important to you, you know what you value.
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Delivering tough messages starts with an attitude before it’s reflected in a behaviour. By shifting your mindset from negative to positive, you change the nature of the interaction itself. Listen to learn how.
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Identify your values through the exercise in this video.
Know your values and you know what drives you intrinsically.
From there, you can determine what you want … and what you don’t want.
Achieve your peak performance by learning your values today.
Burnout happens when you’ve exhausted your fuel. Without that energy source, you can’t keep going. Hence, you “burn out.”
So if you want to prevent burnout, you need to answer this question: How do you stay fueled?
Follow the three steps in this episode to learn more.
Then, listen to hear how you can reframe burnout because, in fact, there are degrees of it.
Using Nelson Mandela as an example, recognize that freedom is a state you choose for yourself. Your choice impact others because everything is connected.
Don't mistake connection for imprisonment. It’s easy to do that when you see freedom as a binary choice, as in, you’re either in jail or out.
You are not imprisoned. You are free.
Have you ever hit the wall? You have no idea what to do next. The wall looks blank, empty, a clear slate. What do you do? Listen to learn how to face the wall.
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On a recent trip to Ireland, I saw sheep everywhere but not shepherds.
It made me wonder, What’s the role of a shepherd (leader) versus a sheep (follower)?
Later on, we found some lost sheep on a hike, stuck on a ledge.
Of course, we all get stuck at times. At its core, being stuck happens when we can only see a topic from a certain perspective. The sheep did, in fact, have choices.
What happened next? Listen to find out.
Things that rub you the wrong way are often secret genie lamps.
They reveal what was formerly concealed.
Pay attention to what bothers you. It’s usually an indicator of a value you haven’t recognized and/or honoured.
Learn how to align to your values by rubbing the genie’s lamp.
You’ll enjoy what gets revealed.
You CAN get a job without specific experience in the subject matter or industry by focusing on what really matters:
1) Your willingness to learn;
2) Having the right attitude;
3) Being Curious.
All of these qualities are within your control.
Adopt this mindset shift to put yourself in the driver's seat.
Maslow modified his famous Hierarchy of Needs at the end of his life by adding a new pinnacle after self-actualization: self-transcendence.
Here’s what the new hierarchy looks like (from top to bottom):
• Self-Transcendence
• Self-Actualization
• Esteem
• Belonging & Love
• Safety
• Physiological
Learn more about his change of heart … and why it matters.
Reframe nervousness as anticipation with the tools provided here:
1) Know your Content
2) Shift from negative (nervousness) to positive (anticipation) through physiological techniques, acknowledging saboteurs, tapping & 4-part breathwork.
When did rest become impermissible? In today’s work-obsessed culture, rest is the bogeyman we don’t talk about.
Rest is necessary so, go ahead, and unplug for a while. Rest rejuvenates and gives you peace. In a peaceful state, you can solve anything. That’s because ideas come from rest, as I’ve talked about before. Click here for the Sowing Idea Seeds episode.
If you feel discomfort arise from not doing anything, remind yourself you’re here for a purpose. You can’t fulfil it unless you see clearly. You can’t gain clarity without granting yourself space.
Give yourself some space. Give yourself a rest.
Getting what you want means understanding the roles of change and transformation.
To get to your outcome, something must happen between “here” and “there.”
Reaching your goal requires growth which happens through a process that moves you from here to there.
Using two real-life examples from my own life, I walk you through the difference between change and transformation so you can apply it to yours.
How do you know when you’re ready to move from one stage of your career to the next? I’ve done this a few times over the past twenty-plus years and want to share the signs with you today.
1) You feel restless
2) Driftwood
3) Shed your skin
There's also one special pitfall I want to warn you about when you're about to make career changes: resistance.
Listen and learn more.
In software engineering, "rubber duck debugging" is a method of debugging code by describing a problem to, you guessed it, a rubber duck.
The idea is you talk out loud to a rubber duck and explain each line of code so you can find the source of the problem and then come up with a solution.
Rubber ducks help us find solutions, playfully.
Here's a short definition of healthy wholeness: it's the connection of mind, body, heart, and spirit. Too often, though, we miss the "whole" picture. We only focus on one quarter of the whole - the mind.
When you realize you can gather information in different ways, not just through the mind, it's a game-changer. It's like moving from 2D to 4D.
Using your "whole" self, you can process situations and make decisions using additional feedback. There's a reason we talk about gut reactions after all!
Clarity is about clearness. But it’s more than just a state of mind - it’s also a feeling.
Clarity lets you cut through clutter, see the path, and feel lighter.
You can get it by following the advice in this episode: identify your values because they drive your behaviours and your habits.
The Brazilian Jiu Jitsu master gave practical and life-changing advice to his students one day. He explains how to handle yourself when you're in a tough position.
By being present, you can handle all situations as they come to you.
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I’m an introvert and the thought of networking makes me shudder. Networking is for extroverts, period.
Do you identify as an introvert? Or perhaps you’re shy?
This bonus show walks you through how introversion - and shyness - impact the human basic need to connect.
Once it's laid out, you'll learn a concrete way to combat it.
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Authenticity means feeling comfortable in your own skin. You experience congruence inside and out. You communicate how you feel instead of blocking it. Keep in mind, authenticity isn’t just sharing hard stuff. Often that’s where the mind goes when this topic comes up. It is also about sharing joys and successes - shining your light not dimming it.
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Blueprints are great for seeing things in the big picture as well as in great detail. When you know your blueprint, you gain:
• self-awareness
• clarity
• insight
Take some time to learn your blueprint. You do it by figuring out what's important to you. Once you know it, though, it will serve you for a lifetime.
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I stood on the edge of a large rock, clinging to a rope, watching the roiling water beneath me. Two friends had already completed the jump and I was next. My heart pounded. What if I hit the rock as I jumped and dashed my brains out? Every instinct screamed, Don’t do it!
Today's episode talks about taking leaps, what it means, and how to do it.
Leap, and the net will follow.
Think of your career as a ladder and a lattice. What's the difference?
- Ladders clarify where you’re at in your life and how you feel about it.
- Lattices help you navigate nuanced, multi-perspective situations.
Both provide value, based on age and stage. Listen to learn more.
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Falling off the trail during a winter hike and landing in the forest made us lose sight of the way forward. Talk about a metaphor for life! This episode talks about falling off the trail, getting back up, and finding the way back - the cycle for growth. How do you do it? Listen to find out.
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Having a sense of purpose makes you feel alive. What does that have to do with work-life balance? Listen to this episode to learn more. If you want to hear the episode I referenced in this episode called Shedding Rigidity, click here for a listen.
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A recent injury activated my saboteurs. I learned a good lesson: it's less about what happens to you than how you respond to it. If you're interested in the tools I mentioned in this episode for countering saboteurs, click here:
1) Banish Judgement
2) Shift the narrative from Victim to Heroine
3) Be kind to yourself - applying The Platinum Rule
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Ideas change the world. But you may ask, Where do ideas come from? How do I get more of them? Listen to learn more.
If you want to hear an earlier podcast I reference in this episode, click here.
There's a worldwide epidemic of loneliness and it’s not talked about enough. Thankfully, there’s a simple antidote: connection. Loneliness cannot co-exist with connection. Learn more in this podcast.
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See intentions like the North Star. They guide but don't direct. Set an intention as you enter 2023. Just one. No action required, just be you.
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My daughter saw Santa one day on the way to school. She figured out where he was going. Her belief in Santa and her desire that he do something in relation to Christmas led to her expectation, revealed in this video. Desire + Belief = Expectation. It's a purposeful equation.
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Louise Penny's Three Pines isn't just a place; it's a beating heart where belonging, connection, and courage reign supreme. Three Pines, although fictional, shows us what a life fully loved really looks like.
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Gandhi says, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Change starts with you. As you change from within, your outer world changes too.
Think of a world in which each of us undergoes this process of transformation. One by one becomes many over time. This is how we will change the world.
Listening is a lost art. Its value, though, is manifold. We listen to connect and learn about others and ourselves. I like how the Dalai Lama sums it up: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know.”
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My son at bat taught me a lesson in responding versus reacting. While the amygdala (fear-based) response is real, you don’t have to react to it. Give yourself the space to choose differently. For more related to this topic, listen to Dancing at The White Horse and Feeling Stuck.
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Piano lessons taught me more than music. I saw how passion brought my whole self (mind, body, heart, spirit) into the moment. And how did I get there?
I followed the advice from the famous joke:
How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice, practice, practice.
What's your Carnegie Hall? How can you bring more of your whole self into your life?
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HR today is rigid. So many rules and regulations that we've replaced "care" with "compliance." There's another way of doing HR that's less about maintaining structures and more about finding fluidity. Using the evolution of dress code policy over the years, I talk about how to make that transition. Then I explore finding that happy balance between rigidity and fluidity. Of course, I'm not just talking about HR but about personal growth in general.
I love lists. So today, I'm doing a countdown of the lessons I learned while writing my Book, Career Advice: What I Wish I Knew When I Was 24.
1) Advice vs. Feedback
2) Don't Make Assumptions
3) Be Generous
4) Know Your Audience
5) Jungle Gym
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Did you know aspens are connected as a single living organism? Aspens remind us we’re connected, as individuals, groups, and societies.
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Do you remember swimming when you were a kid? Time moved slowly, didn't it? When did it change … and why?
After my car spun out on the highway one snowy winter night, I had a reckoning. I had to choose my key priorities and let go of the rest.
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I got my broken record player fixed and the first song it played was Frank Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel So Young." You likely know it.
It got me thinking about how the missing piece - the "preamp" or preamplifier - got rid of the problem, which was distortion. And then I thought about how resilience performs the same function. It gets rid of our distortion by providing clarity.
The lyrics of the song tie it all together. When we're resilient, we "bounce the moon, just like a toy balloon."
As Indy said, Why did it have to be snakes? My fear of snakes bared its fangs on a recent walk, forcing me to face it head-on. How do you want to respond to fears in your life? Pre-pave the path with your exit strategy in mind so you don’t stay stuck in the snake pit with Indy.
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