Stronger Marriage Connection: Recent Episodes
KSL Podcasts
It's often said that marriage takes work. The Stronger Marriage Connection podcast wants to help because a happy marriage is worth the effort. USU Family Life Professor Dr. Dave Schramm and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Liz Hale talk with experts about the principles and practices that will enhance your commitment, compassion, and emotional connection.
More than ever before, marriages face obstacles, from the busyness of work and daily hassles to disagreements and digital distractions. It's no wonder couples sometimes drift apart, growing resentful, lonely, and isolated.
The Utah Marriage Commission invites you to listen and discover new ways to strengthen and protect your marriage connection today!
Sexual intimacy can be a powerful source of connection in marriage, but shame, avoidance, unrealistic expectations, and differences in desire can quickly create distance. Licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist Vanessa Cushing joins Dave and Liz to discuss desire discrepancy, performance anxiety, pornography, sexual trauma, and the importance of honest communication. Learn how couples can stop blaming each other, build emotional safety, and approach sexual intimacy as a team focused on connection rather than performance.
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Takeaway of the Day
Vanessa Cushing: Talk to each other and stop blaming each other. Desire and intimacy improve when couples have hard conversations, approach challenges as a team, and consistently do the small things that strengthen connection.
Liz Hale: Desire is a team effort. Sexual challenges are not simply one partner's problem, and understanding the deeper emotional or psychological factors behind sexual behaviors can help couples respond with greater compassion.
Dave Schramm: Safety and connection are foundational to healthy sexual intimacy. Couples can strengthen their relationship by communicating openly, being vulnerable, and seeking professional help when challenges feel difficult to resolve alone.
Vanessa’s Resources:
Website: https://www.cushingcounseling.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cushingcounseling/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@vanessacushing
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cushingcounseling
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Cushing-Counseling/61578982936946/
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Sexual intimacy can play an important role in emotional connection, relationship satisfaction, and overall well-being. Relationship therapist Laura How joins Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm to explore sexless marriages, differences in sexual desire, and the physical and emotional benefits of a healthy sexual relationship. Laura shares practical insights for understanding desire, talking openly about intimacy, and making your marriage a greater priority. Discover how curiosity, intentional connection, and playfulness can help couples rebuild intimacy and create a stronger marriage.
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Takeaway of the Day
- Laura How: Make your marriage the project of your life. Prioritize personal growth and create a relationship that feels playful, joyful, and energizing. A strong marriage is possible when couples intentionally nurture their connection.
- Liz Hale: A healthy sexual connection offers powerful benefits for individuals, couples, and families. Liz emphasizes the positive influence a loving, connected marriage can have on children and encourages women to recognize their power to strengthen their relationships.
- Dave Schramm: Relationships require intentional attention. When work, children, stress, and technology take over, emotional and physical connection can slowly fade. Couples need to talk openly, make time for each other, and remember that a lack of attention can lead to a loss of connection.
Laura's Links:
Website: https://laurahow.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurahow/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LauraHow
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@laurahowcounselling
X: https://x.com/laurahow
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/laurahowcounsellor/
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We flip the mic and let Liz and Rex interview Dave about his new book, Happy Hacks, and the science-backed habits that make joy more durable in real life. We dig into why happiness matters for marriages and families, how small choices build momentum, and why compassion and kindness are the glue of a stronger marriage connection.
• why happiness is not toxic positivity and still involves choice through perspective
• why Dave wrote a “hacks” book and how short, simple practices beat jargon
• the structure of each hack: what it is, why it works, try this today, what if, bottom line
• gratitude and kindness as the quickest ripple effect for well-being and relationships
• “Text Two Before 10” and why delayed gratitude can be surprisingly powerful
• foundational habits that shape mood: sunlight, hydration, protein, sleep, stopping doomscrolling
• “happy hack attacks” that steal joy: comparison, rumination, avoiding emotions, materialism
• purpose beyond the self as a buffer against stress and a path to meaning
• hack 101: writing a letter to your future self to live with more intention now
• the key to a stronger marriage connection: compassion and kindness
Dave's Resources:
Website: https://www.drdaveschramm.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUgmEM9eheDC5AbNYUB3ENA/videos
X: https://x.com/DrDaveUSU
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Discovering infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences a couple faces. In this episode, Dr. Bill Bumberry shares practical guidance and hope for couples navigating betrayal trauma and rebuilding trust. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and the Gottman Method, Bill explains the three key phases of healing after infidelity—atonement, attunement, and attachment—and offers actionable strategies for restoring safety, connection, and commitment. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or looking to strengthen your relationship against future threats, this conversation provides valuable insight and encouragement.
• defining infidelity as betraying an agreement plus secrecy
• why social media and dating apps make hiding easier
• how friendships drift into emotional and physical affairs
• common trauma responses for the hurt partner, including hypervigilance and dysregulation
• why remorse has to become active compassion to restore safety
• using the Gottman phases of atonement, attunement, and attachment
• deciding which details help and which details harm early on
• how avoidance and negative sentiment override set the stage for disconnection
• what to consider when talking with kids at different ages
• daily connection rituals that matter most, including the first two minutes together
• loyalty as an active practice, especially when your partner is not present
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with psychotherapist Kirsten Davidson to unpack why couples drift into disconnection and how Internal Family Systems therapy can help us lead ourselves with more clarity, compassion, and courage. We challenge the stories we tell ourselves in conflict, practice speaking from “parts” instead of blame, and lay out simple shifts that rebuild real connection.
• assumptions driving communication breakdowns and unnecessary hurt
• avoiding hard talks out of fear of the truth and discomfort
• using IFS “parts” language to create space and reduce shame
• defining self-energy and what “self-led” looks like at home
• turning fights into dialogue instead of debate
• choosing radical honesty about our limits and patterns
• why couples counseling works better when we go earlier
• tips for newlyweds and engaged couples to benchmark what works
• resources to learn IFS, including Richard Schwartz’s No Bad Parts
• how we build hope when couples feel exhausted and stuck
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with marriage and family therapist Andrea Dindinger to name the repeat fight loops that hijack connection and to practice simple ways to interrupt them before they turn mean. We walk away with concrete tools for calmer conflict, deeper intimacy, and more intentional partnership that ripples into the next generation.
• naming the “loop” as the problem, not each other
• spotting triggers and the deeper needs underneath them
• using “bookmark” to pause conflict and return at a specific time
• building trust by always coming back to the bookmarked talk
• leading the moment by listening without taking it personally
• using a firm “stop” paired with reassurance and safety
• choosing curiosity before defensiveness as a relationship superpower
• rethinking intimacy through “sexy logistics” and mental load
• trying a 21-day experiment of small daily connection practices
• letting go of perfection and focusing on repair and accountability
• creating a shared vision and doing an annual relationship review
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with therapist Josh O’Tani to talk about pornography use as a couples issue and why secrecy can wound a relationship as deeply as infidelity. We map the shame and anger cycle that keeps partners stuck, then share practical ways to rebuild trust through curiosity, empathy, and consistent repair.
• Reframing pornography use as relational and systemic, not just individual behavior
• Pornography as a coping strategy for difficult emotions and how avoidance spills into marriage
• The negative interaction cycle after betrayal, including shame, fixing, withdrawal, anger, and distrust
• Why empty promises fail and how trust rebuilds through time and consistency
• Why secrecy matters more than the content for many couples
• Confessing early versus being discovered and the impact on safety and vulnerability
• Betrayal trauma responses, including volatility and PTSD-like symptoms
• Simple language shifts that validate pain without defensiveness
• Clarifying values and agreeing on goals, abstinence versus negotiated boundaries
• Tools from emotionally focused therapy, enactments, and impact versus intent
• The mindset shift that you don’t have to heal alone, and why professional help accelerates progress
• Where to find Josh and his resources at Big Valley Therapy
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Sexual intimacy changes over the arc of a long-term relationship, and treating every lull like a crisis often adds pressure that makes things worse. We talk with sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin about how to rebuild closeness through curiosity, kinder communication, and a better understanding of what each partner actually desires.
• Defining what “sexless marriage” can mean and why the couple’s definition matters most
• Moving beyond frequency to sexual satisfaction and quality of connection
• Common reasons couples drift including stress, life transitions, and emotional safety
• Starting the conversation outside the bedroom and making it ongoing
• Avoiding blame, guilt, and pressure that shut down desire
• Using Erotic Blueprints to talk about turn-ons and touch styles
• Why many couples become touchless before becoming sexless
• What healthy long-term sexuality often looks like including playfulness and openness
• Keeping the spark alive with kindness, respect, and curiosity
• Where to find Keely’s courses and support
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We talk honestly about grief, loss, and why love can keep shaping us even after someone is gone. We share research and real stories that reframe mourning as both painful and meaningful, then land on practical ways to build a relationship that strengthens you now and later.
• why grief is complex across mind and body
• what predicts higher grief levels in young widowhood
• loss-oriented versus restoration-oriented coping
• how relationship length and intimacy relate to grief impact
• continuing bonds and why remembering can help
• why comparing losses creates a harmful grief hierarchy
• how divorce and other losses fit the same grief principles
• why grief can feel like physical pain in the brain
• emotional estate planning through a relational piggy bank
• three daily practices: time, talk, togetherness
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We talk with Nick and Amy about how their marriage nearly ended, and how rebuilding emotional safety brought back real connection and passionate sexual intimacy. They share the simple habits and tools that helped them stop drifting, communicate about hard topics, and create the Ultimate Intimacy app to help other couples do the same.
• their turning point after financial stress and burnout
• why sex can stay frequent yet still feel disconnected
• emotional safety as listening plus caring plus follow-through
• date night as a weekly nonnegotiable that rebuilds closeness
• kindness, respect, and loyalty as the base for sexual intimacy
• the intimacy gap pattern and why couples get stuck
• how app prompts make taboo conversations easier to start
• phone boundaries, mental load talks, and acting like teammates
• one daily question that shifts the whole marriage
• refusing to settle for a mediocre marriage
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We welcome Dr. Sean Brotherson to talk about the joys and pressures of becoming parents and how that transition can strain or strengthen a marriage. We share concrete ways to stay connected through fatigue, changing roles, and shifting intimacy while building the stability kids need most.
• why the transition to parenthood feels so intense even with preparation
• setting realistic expectations through education, planning, and honest conversations
• protecting couple time with simple routines like consistent bedtimes
• children’s core need for security and how marital stability supports it
• how partners experience parenthood differently and why comparing “top stressors” helps
• daily check-ins and small rituals of connection that build resilience
• navigating intrusive in-laws with healthy boundaries
• dividing childcare and housework based on perceived fairness and changing seasons
• warning signs of emotional disconnection and ways to stay close physically and emotionally
• building your village so you can rest, date, and keep choosing each other
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Dr. Chelom Leavitt to unpack why emotional intimacy is the strongest predictor of sexual wellbeing and what “feeling seen” actually looks like in a real marriage. We share science, stories, and simple daily practices that help us build trust, repair disconnection, and create a safer path to desire over time.
• emotional intimacy as being known and accepted, including fears and weaknesses
• why emotional connection shapes sexual satisfaction and long-term desire
• the oxytocin difference that often drives “connection first” vs “sex first” conflict
• small daily reunions, check-ins, and repair as the real builders of closeness
• mindful practices like a five-minute hug, shared breathing, and quiet eye contact
• vulnerability as a signal of safety, trust, and gentle handling
• interrupting an approach withdraw rut with a bold, planned conversation
• engaged and newlywed guidance, including permission to go slow on the wedding night
• sex frequency myths, what research suggests, and when to be concerned
• practical advice for men to create space for initiation and for women to protect emotional safety
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Curtis Morley to learn how “counterfeit emotions” quietly disconnect couples and how authentic emotions build peace, clarity, and real intimacy. We dig into practical shifts like choosing curiosity over anger, honoring pain without turning it into misery, and removing shame so connection can grow.
• Curtis’s origin story after divorce and the loss of his friend Jerry
• Four criteria for spotting counterfeit emotions: connection, direction, motivation, valuation
• Why peace has no counterfeit and what that means for relationships
• Curiosity as the antidote to anger and a path to calmer conflict
• Two marriage practices: promise to lean in and create a nightly slow-dance ritual
• Anger versus advocacy and how to address injustice without burning connection
• Nice versus kind and how people pleasing blocks growth
• Attachment versus connection and moving from need to want
• Pain versus misery, how shame and blame fuel misery, gratitude as a reframe
• Sobriety versus recovery, healing underlying emotions instead of white-knuckling behavior
• Love versus lust, give and receive versus take
• Parenting around porn exposure, using “thank you” to remove shame
• Takeaway tools: name emotions, pause before reacting, the 90-second emotion window
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Ralph Brewer to unpack what really sits underneath dead bedrooms, infidelity, and the quiet insecurity that many men carry into marriage. We talk straight about anxious attachment, “Mr Nice Guy” patterns, and how secure, connected couples protect intimacy by building a full life instead of clinging tighter.
• Ralph’s turning point after discovering an affair and becoming a single father
• why sex and intimacy become the biggest pain point for many men
• anxious attachment patterns and pairing with avoidant partners
• novelty, long-term monogamy, and why desire often drops without intention
• nice guy codependency, covert contracts, and hidden manipulation
• boundaries as attraction, without swinging into being a jerk
• how avoidance, control, and compartmentalizing can feed infidelity dynamics
• why men isolate after divorce and what it costs mentally
• building brotherhood and male friendship as a stabilizer
• quick wins like fitness and hygiene, plus the deeper vulnerability work
• scheduling sex, date nights, and getting kids out of the bedroom
• secure independence, self-regulation, and taking ownership of your choices
• where to find Ralph at helpformen.com and Dad Starting Over
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, Dr. Dave welcomes Dr. Alan Hawkins to explore the critical issues surrounding the current state of dating, its impact on marriage formation, and practical solutions to strengthen young adults' dating skills. Understanding these dynamics is essential for fostering healthier relationships and addressing the broader societal trends influencing marriage today.
Key Topics:
- The concept of the "dating recession" and its scope, including data indicating a decline in active dating among young adults.
- How contemporary cultural shifts, digital communication, and social skills deficits affect dating confidence and competency.
- The importance of developing social and dating skills early, including parent and educator roles; introduction of programs like the Utah Marriage Commission's Dating Ready course.
- Barriers to dating such as money, past negative experiences, and digital preference for virtual interaction.
- Strategies for building relationship grit and resilience to handle setbacks and rejection.
- The influence of historical norms versus current practices in dating and marriage, including the shift from duty-based to emotional connection-based relationships.
- Recommendations for societal, educational, and familial interventions to improve the dating system and support young adults.
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We welcome UK marriage therapist Naomi Light, who shares how her relationship nearly ended and how couples therapy helped her and her husband rebuild a stronger “marriage 2.0.” We dig into the science and skills behind her Rewiring Love method so you can shift patterns, lower conflict, and create real safety with your partner.
• Naomi’s story of slow-building toxic conflict and the turning point that brought them into couples therapy
• The first therapy question that changed everything: how your partner fits your “script”
• Why relationship pain feels isolating and why we believe you should not carry it alone
• Chronic ambivalence and the cost of staying stuck in limbo
• The Zeigarnik effect and how unresolved conflict keeps “tabs” open in your brain
• Attachment styles made simple with anchor, wave, and island
• The Rewiring Love method: perspective shift, physiological shift, behavioral shift
• Two-person psychology and building a “couple bubble” for secure functioning
• Overt vs covert contempt and how both erode trust
• Research on conflict, stress, immunity, and why it can affect women even more
Naomi's Links:
https://naomilight.com/
https://www.instagram.com/naomilightcouplestherapist/
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how desire works over time and why many couples crave sex that feels effortless, absorbing, and deeply connected. Dr. Emily Jamea shares research on flow state in sexual intimacy and the five qualities that help couples sustain passion in busy real life.
• Dr. Emily Jamea’s journey into sex and relationship therapy
• How flow state connects to sexual satisfaction
• The five desire “secrets” from Anatomy Of Desire: sensuality, curiosity, adaptability, vulnerability, attunement
• Why curiosity and novelty matter for long-term passion
• How small “challenge-skill” shifts prevent boredom and overwhelm
• Building attunement so connection becomes less talk and more real-time awareness
• Single-tasking and sensory focus to quiet split attention
• Planning intimacy without killing spontaneity
• Broadening the definition of sex to reduce pressure and increase closeness
• Sexual satisfaction as a predictor of relationship satisfaction
• How singles can cultivate these qualities within themselves
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore why dating feels harder, how on-demand culture reshapes expectations, and what AI companions and pornography are doing to our ideas of love. Dr. Brian Willoughby shares research, skills, and hopeful strategies for parents, teens, and singles who want real connection.
• falling dating rates and fading norms among teens and young adults
• benefits and costs of dating apps, including rejection mindset
• updated divorce data and how agency and skills shift risk
• on-demand expectations versus the effort of real relationships
• rise of AI companions and the “sugar high” of synthetic intimacy
• pornography’s impact on expectations, satisfaction and stability
• practical skills for starting relationships and building resilience
• guidance for parents on modeling, monitoring and positive messaging
• keys to stronger marriages through mutual focus and sacrifice
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore a marriage operating system built on small, specific habits that strengthen trust, make time for connection, and turn differences into strengths. Casey and Meygan share tools like Love Lists, the KNOWN position, the 60‑Second Blessing, weekly meetings, and a repair-first apology.
• origin of Marriage365 and why access matters
• building a marriage operating system with habits
• tools versus therapy and affordability
• unsolicited apology framework for real repair
• Love Lists and the power of specificity
• weekly marriage business meeting and shared calendars
• scheduling sex without shame and creating ritual
• KNOWN position for focused, safe conversations
• modern pressures of comfort and convenience
• radical responsibility and curiosity over criticism
• leveraging irreconcilable differences as strengths
• where to start: the 60‑Second Blessing
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We share Kilie Tomadakis’s journey from early instability to adoption, entrepreneurship, and advocacy, and why strong families are the foundation for healthy communities. We explore her pageant platform, modern dating, communication skills, and practical steps to reduce distraction and deepen connection.
• early childhood instability, adoption, and faith shaping values
• lessons from farm work on grit and follow-through
• meeting her husband young and building a marriage
• choosing cosmetology, launching Alora Hair Co
• becoming a certified matchmaker and dating insights
• Mrs. Utah America: interview, swimsuit, evening gown, purpose over prizes
• founding Family Stability Alliance with free tools for families
• health journey with Hashimoto’s and redefining wellness
• concrete advice for young daters and long-term planning
• key to stronger marriage: increase connection, decrease distraction
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how understanding neurodiversity can strengthen love, reduce conflict, and turn differences into design features rather than deficits. Dr. Matthew Zakresky shares science, stories, and practical tools to navigate communication, sensory needs, and executive function in marriage.
• one in five partners as neurodivergent and why it matters
• brain differences in form and function backed by scans
• direct versus indirect communication and meta-communication
• sensory needs at events, home, and intimacy
• “easy is hard, hard is easy” executive function gaps
• introvert–extrovert energy and risk–reward lenses
• assuming positive intent and separating intent from impact
• strengths focus, loyalty, creativity, and info-dumping as intimacy
• designing interdependence and interest-based community
• statistical thinking to normalize conflict and repair
• actionable adaptations voice memos, checklists, environment fit
• resources and where to find Dr. Matt’s work
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We trace how childhood attachment styles shape sexual desire, arousal, and closeness in marriage, and why couples get stuck in the sex standoff. Mark Cameron shares practical steps to earn secure attachment and turn emotional safety into better intimacy.
• Key gender differences in arousal and desire
• The sex standoff and how it spirals
• Quick primer on attachment theory and styles
• Avoider patterns and nonrelational sex
• Pleaser appeasing, boundaries, and anxiety
• Vacillator intensity, protest, and withholding
• Disorganized attachment, control, and adrenaline
• What secure partners do differently
• Comfort Circle for empathy and regulation
• Neural pathways, practice, and earned security
• Resources: book, quiz, workshops, radio show
Marc Cameron's Resources:
https://howwelove.com/
https://www.facebook.com/marc.cameron.mft
https://www.instagram.com/marc.cameron.mft
How We Love:
https://www.facebook.com/howwelovebook
https://www.instagram.com/howwelovebook
https://www.tiktok.com/@how.we.love.tikto
https://www.youtube.com/@HowWeLove
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Dr. Lee Baucom to unpack the “pause button marriage,” why most couples misdiagnose communication issues, and how small, steady habits and a team mindset rebuild connection. One partner can start the change with curiosity, empowerment, and self-management.
• defining the pause button marriage and its slow costs
• shifting from me and you to a true we
• why connection, not communication, is the core issue
• unpausing with small, repeatable habits of connection
• using invitational pacing instead of chasing
• curiosity as the path to empathy and safety
• self-management to reduce reactivity and blame
• hope’s three parts: where, how, and willingness
• practical tools to rebuild trust and teamwork
• resources, including the Unpause app and site
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with researcher Wendy Wang to unpack how AI companionship, porn, and endless scrolling are reshaping dating, marriage, and mental health. We share data-backed risks and simple house rules that protect attention, intimacy, and commitment.
• one in four young adults saying AI could replace romance
• how frictionless AI partners create unrealistic expectations
• links between screen time, lower satisfaction, and fewer date nights
• scams targeting loneliness with AI-crafted personas
• class and education divides in openness to AI partners
• why online choice overload delays commitment
• practical phone-free zones and bedroom boundaries
• drawing an emotional line: no AI for comfort or venting
• replacing 50-50 scorekeeping with patience and generosity
• building rituals that strengthen connection and reduce technoference
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We unpack how codependency hides inside “helping,” why rescuing backfires, and how to build self-compassion, boundaries, and interdependence. Therapist Peyton Holt shares concrete tools for couples and parents to trade control for empathy and create safer, stronger bonds.
• clear definition of codependency and why it’s common
• five core symptoms from Pia Mellody’s framework
• the fix-it cycle and why relief reinforces rescuing
• parenting patterns, enabling, and natural consequences
• shame spirals, taking feedback personally, eggshell walking
• self-compassion as the foundation of change
• rebuilding inside-out self-esteem and saying no
• partner playbook for support and shared language
• “the story I’m telling myself” for de-escalation
• treatment timelines, workshops, and group support
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We welcome Les and Leslie Parrott to unpack how preparation, empathy, and practical tools create stronger marriages, from the origins of SYMBIS to the launch of the four-minute Heart Chart. We explore healthy conflict, invisible rule books, and thought patterns that quietly shape connection.
• SYMBIS origin story and why premarriage prep matters
• moving from traits to state for real-time insight
• the invisible rule book and expectations
• how to fight a good fight without harm
• empathy as the core skill for repair
• toxic thoughts like irrational guilt and entitlement
• Heart Chart’s commitment and connection coordinates
• simple presence habits that boost attunement
• laughter, awareness, and small daily choices
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how emotional safety fuels connection and why consent, validation, and nervous system awareness transform tough talks. Shane Burkle shares RLT’s “truth with love,” a six-hour intensive model, and a simple exercise couples can use today.
• connection seekers vs safety seekers and the push-pull loop
• what emotional safety looks like in practice
• validating language, curiosity, and accountability
• consent in conversations and setting parameters
• timeouts, check-ins, and nervous system regulation
• RLT’s truth with love and compassionate confrontation
• inner child work that reframes defensiveness
• therapist grounding, client vision, and clear goals
• full respect living and everyday repair
• where to find Shane’s exercise and resources
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how to design a fair, secure-functioning relationship that protects both partners, repairs fast, and prevents repeated harm. Dr. Stan Tatkin explains why instinct fights intimacy and how governance, PEPPER, and daily presence keep love strong under stress.
• human nature as difficult and self-protective
• difference between difficult and too difficult
• clean repair and real apology without excuses
• attachment biology, pair bonding and threat memory
• the ick as a distancing threat response
• limits of labels and misuse on social media
• why “never again” fails and the value of yielding to reminders
• PEPPER prevention model and post-mortem revise
• social contracts, shared leadership and putting the couple first
• daily micro-connection and ongoing courting
• stop repetition of injuries with systems and agreements
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Susanne Alexander to explore unity as a daily practice and walk through research-based tools that help couples merge hearts and minds. Small habits, virtue-based praise, and playful rituals turn conflict into clarity and make friendship the backbone of marriage.
Susanne M. Alexander is a relationship and marriage educator, coach, author, and publisher with her company Marriage Transformation®, www.marriagetransformation.com. She meets with clients globally via the internet for relationship and marriage preparation and marriage strengthening. Susanne is certified to offer couples assessments and coaching through Prepare-Enrich® and for individuals with the Character Foundations Assessment™. She has completed Level 1 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. Susanne has written or co-written over 30 books. Her most recent is “Growing Our Unity: 19 Vital Practices for a Thriving Relationship”, coauthored with Grant Peirce. Susanne is co-lead on Accordia Way, a project to assist couples with excellent communication and decision-making skills, https://accordiaway.substack.com/subscribe.
She is passionate about helping individuals and couples make good relationship and marriage choices through knowledge and skill-building and thereby prevent divorces. Susanne has been single, dating, engaged, married, divorced, and widowed. She is a child, stepchild, parent, stepparent, and grandparent. All of this has given Susanne a diversity of experience to share. She is originally from Canada and is married to a wonderful man named Phil Donihe in Tennessee, in the United States. They live on a lake and love to do romantic boat trips together that include nature photography.
• how lived experience shapes Susanne’s approach
• unity as a shared daily language
• 22 virtues that support connection
• Unifier 10 choosing to merge in a distracted world
• micro practices celebrations greetings and check ins
• bids for connection and sunset moments
• a commute tweak that transformed evenings
• rethinking conflict with the bowl method
• appreciation using virtue language to affirm identity
• laughter dates and rediscovering fun
• service balance and community ties
• friendship as the foundation for lasting closeness
• learning in action as a lifelong mindset
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how sexual intimacy becomes joyful and life-giving when anchored in self-honesty, personal responsibility and spiritual growth. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife shares practical ways to move beyond rigid roles, foster freedom and desire, and build a marriage that can hold two full adults.
• linking sexuality and spirituality as sources of joy
• defining intimacy as being seen and known
• reframing eroticism as life force, not performance
• spotting how roles hide the self and stall desire
• negotiating roles with honesty and responsibility
• understanding desire as freedom plus self-acceptance
• better advice for daughters than duty-based sex
• helping sons regulate desire without shame
• why intimacy feels risky to the ego
• becoming more truly who we are in love
• first steps for the stuck: curiosity over judgment
• resources to grow sexual and emotional intimacy
Jennifer's Website: https://finlayson-fife.com/
Podcast: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/finlaysonfife/?hl=en
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Julia Garcia to explore how hope becomes a daily habit that strengthens love, repairs conflict, and restores self-worth. We map the five habits of hope and show how one small word—maybe—can interrupt despair and create momentum.
• defining hope as practice not positivity
• Julia’s journey from hopelessness to healthy habits
• five habits of hope: reflection, risk, release, receive, repurpose
• the sound of hope and processing feelings
• curiosity and repair during conflict
• noticing where we withhold love
• letting go to make room for connection
• practical steps for singles to position for growth
• modeling hope for kids and students
• resources to find Julia’s book and podcast
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We talk with therapist and author Marc Cameron about how childhood bonds shape adult love and how anyone can “earn” secure attachment through story, skills, and practice. Practical tools like boundaries that invite connection and the Comfort Circle help couples move from reactivity to responsiveness.
• what avoidant, pleaser, vacillator, and disorganized styles look like in childhood and adulthood
• how a coherent narrative links emotions to needs
• why empathy, validation, and clear language reduce conflict
• boundaries as doors back into connection
• style-specific growth goals and daily practice
• co‑soothing before self‑soothing and nervous system regulation
• the Comfort Circle listener-speaker tool
• research roots from Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Main
• resources from How We Love and Marc’s new book
Marc Cameron's Resources and Links:
Free How We Love Attachment Style Quiz:
https://understandingyourattachmentstyle.com/
How We Love: https://howwelove.com/
Marc's Social Media:
https://m.facebook.com/marc.cameron.mft/
https://www.instagram.com/marc.cameron.mft/
How We Love Social Media:
https://www.facebook.com/howwelovebook?mibextid=wwXIfr&mibextid=wwXIfr
https://www.instagram.com/howwelovebook?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
https://www.tiktok.com/@how.we.love.tikto
https://www.youtube.com/@HowWeLove
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We dig into holiday spending habits with Amanda Christensen and show how couples can protect peace and pocketbooks. From impulse triggers to simple tools and a revolving savings plan, we share practical steps to keep joy high and stress low.
• impulse buying traps and how to slow down
• agreeing a shared goal for the season
• setting a total budget and four key categories
• choosing cash for high-risk spending areas
• using price trackers to time purchases
• organizing gifts with lists and simple apps
• planning for hidden costs and last year’s data
• revolving savings that fund December in advance
• a mantra to reduce comparison and pressure
Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how to handle family “emotional storms” with practical, science-backed tools so parents can stay calm, help kids feel seen, and keep their partnership strong. Dr. Alyssa Jerud shares the ART and CARE frameworks, opposite action, and simple mindfulness moves that work in the real world.
• why emotional agility matters for parents and partners
• how ART helps accept, regulate, and tolerate emotions
• everyday mindfulness as a fast acceptance tool
• the CARE skills to lower arousal quickly
• opposite action to disrupt anger-driven habits
• validating feelings while holding boundaries
• using calm moments for quality attention and reconnection
• aligning different parenting styles without blame
• book details and where to find resources
Hey, do us a favor and take a second to subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the show
Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend
You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage
If you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and more
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how the Enneagram, mindfulness, and personal values help couples understand patterns, reduce conflict, and build trust. Amanda Ford shares practical tools to translate differences into connection, redefine compatibility, and communicate requests with clarity and care.
• Nine types as lenses for patterns and needs
• Head, heart, body centers explained with examples
• Using insights without labeling or blaming
• Mindfulness as embodied awareness for self-regulation
• Yoga practices that calm the nervous system
• Brené Brown’s values exercise for clarity and alignment
• Nonviolent Communication for value-based requests
• Gottman love maps to stay current and curious
• Compatibility across practical, wavelength, and intimacy
• Acceptance over sameness to fuel repair and goodwill
• Tools and resources: test links, books, and apps
Subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend. Follow us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage. For more resources, visit strongermarriage.org.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We sit down with Dr. Jordan Rullo to unpack why sexual desire often misfires, how brakes and gas shape intimacy, and why responsive desire is just as healthy as spontaneous desire. We share practical tools to manage mismatch, avoid pressure, and build trust through small rituals.
• Brake and gas model of sexual function
• Causes of low desire across biology, psychology, relationship, culture
• Spontaneous versus responsive desire explained
• Desire discrepancy as a perpetual problem and acceptance
• Why scheduling sex backfires and scheduling connection works
• Avoidant dynamic and how rejection spirals happen
• Consensual unwanted sex and bodily autonomy
• When to involve medical providers and rule out health issues
• Friendship, trust, and Gottman’s Magic Six Hours
• Weekly State of the Union and sexual communication habits
• Prioritization, maintenance plans, and recommended resources
Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend
You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage
Visit strongermarriage.org for free workshops, e-courses, webinars, surveys, and more
Subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how grief moves like a spiral through life, how it reshapes identity and marriage, and why presence matters more than platitudes. Alexandra Carroll shares her story, reframes the stages, and offers practical tools for self-kindness, attunement, and meaning.
• stages as observations, not a rigid program
• grief as spiral with triggers across the year
• why each person grieves differently
• words to avoid and what to say instead
• talk less, listen more as core support
• setting a place at the table in marriage
• self-kindness through outsourcing and rest
• quiet, social media fasting, grief fasting
• building a grief calendar and planning care
• finding meaning after acceptance
Subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the show
Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend
You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage
If you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and more
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore why money triggers big feelings, how to spot the Four Horsemen in finance talks, and how to turn weekly check-ins into a simple habit. Money coach Dee Zimmerman shares tools for gentle startups, healthy boundaries, and practical next steps.
• different money histories shaping expectations
• money as emotional language, not just numbers
• Four Horsemen applied to money conversations
• antidotes: gentle startup, taking responsibility, repair
• permission to pause with a promise to resume
• weekly money rhythms with simple prompts
• inviting a reluctant partner with humility and tools
• healthy boundaries with self, partner, and outside world
• money styles quiz: Sidesteppers, Sparrers, Circlers, Builders
• building wealth together with clarity and consistency
Hey, do us a favor and take a second to subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the show. Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend. You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage. If you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and more.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We share Christina Morales’s story of moving from the brink of divorce to two decades of service with Retrouvaille, a couples-led program that turns communication into real change. Hope becomes concrete through a weekend intensive, post-sessions, and a community that protects confidentiality and growth.
• what Retrouvaille is and who it serves
• why lived experience creates safety and trust
• communication tools that help partners finally hear each other
• the weekend format plus post-sessions for lasting change
• how faith roots coexist with open doors to all
• ripple effects on children, friends and community
• when one partner is hesitant and how to start
• success rates, realistic outcomes and co‑parenting skills
• forgiveness as a daily practice, including self‑forgiveness
• practical links and the invitation to “make the call”
Make the call. Do the research. Go to the websites or make the call just to gather information.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
A tender, practical look at life after divorce: how to co‑parent without drama, date with intention as a single parent, and rebuild a calm family system where kids feel safe and seen. Amber shares the habits, boundaries, and mindset shifts that turned conflict into cooperation.
• early marriage, cross‑state moves, new parent stress
• choosing divorce to model a healthy life for children
• co‑parenting routines that remove contention
• group texting with ex and step‑parent for transparency
• “kids‑only” communication and gray rocking
• dating with intention and keeping a values list
• pacing introductions and honoring kids’ timelines
• therapy, accountability friends, and honest feedback
• books that support self‑trust and discernment
• hard conversations as the key to real connection
Hey, do us a favor and take a second to subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the show
Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend
You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger Marriage
If you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and more
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
We explore how Relational Life Therapy helps couples move from harshness to loving firmness, from accuracy wars to curiosity, and from quiet withdrawal to active repair. Kristy Gaisford shares personal lessons, the five dysfunctional patterns, and practical tools for daily change.
• the five dysfunctional patterns: being right, controlling, unbridled self-expression, retaliation, withdrawal
• start with self: sturdiness, humility, owning impact
• customer-service rule: turn-taking and sequencing complaints
• the feedback wheel: story, feeling, request, future
• loving firmness over harshness in tough talks
• the adaptive child versus wise adult self
• relationship reckoning: grieving the ideal and choosing the real
• harmony, disharmony, repair as the normal cycle
• questions that open repair and end defensiveness
Hey, do us a favor and take a second to subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the show. Be sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friend. You can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageLive and Facebook at Stronger Marriage. If you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and more.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Jeremy Bowden returns to discuss free marriage preparation resources available through the Utah Marriage Commission and Utah State University, including his newly created "Marriage Ready" and "Remarriage Ready" online courses.
• Premarital education helps couples understand relationship science, navigate potential challenges, and discuss expectations
• Free six-hour online courses fulfill Utah's requirement for a $20 marriage license discount
• Courses cover commitment, communication, conflict resolution, healthy sexuality, money management, and abuse prevention
• StrongerMarriage.org offers additional free resources including the Relate assessment, Ready assessment, and over 100 free e-courses
• Remarriage Ready addresses unique challenges like healing from emotional wounds and navigating step-parenting
• Happy marriages aren't void of conflict but feature consistent repair and abundant positive connections
• Dr. Bowden offers personalized premarital counseling through his "Before We Say I Do" program
Visit StrongerMarriage.org, HealthyRelationshipsUtah.org, or CenterForMarriagePrep.com to access these resources and strengthen your relationship.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Lindsay Kelly shares her powerful journey of resilience as she navigates being a caregiver for her husband with MS, raising six children, and becoming the family's sole provider. Through finding support and learning to embrace hard emotions, she transformed her struggle into strength and now helps thousands of people facing similar challenges.
• Discovering her husband's progressive MS diagnosis that caused memory loss and mood swings similar to dementia
• Transitioning from stay-at-home mom to caregiver and sole provider for a family of eight
• Experiencing caregiver burnout while working two jobs and coordinating her husband's care
• Finding relief and stability when her husband moved to assisted living
• Starting to share her story on social media and growing from 1,900 to 420,000 followers
• Creating a caregiver support group that grew to thousands of members
• Becoming a certified life coach to help others find their smile again
• Learning to embrace negative emotions without feeling guilty about them
• Setting necessary boundaries, even with family members
• Finding gratitude in small daily wins during overwhelming times
• Discovering who she is as an individual apart from her roles as caregiver and mother
Lindsay offers a free masterclass for people who feel lonely within their marriage, teaching them how to reconnect with themselves and find happiness again.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Conscious Relationship Coach Annmarie Chereso shares powerful insights on transforming conflict into deeper connection through mindfulness, vulnerability, and heart-centered awareness. She reveals how asking yourself "Where am I?" can identify whether fear or trust is driving your relationship patterns.
• Conflict isn't a problem but a portal to deeper awareness and connection
• Our relationship to conflict is conditioned by childhood experiences
• The question "Where am I?" helps identify if we're operating from fear or trust
• When contracted (even 1%), we're in protection mode and unavailable for authentic connection
• Accepting our humanity means acknowledging we get scared, especially in relationships
• The check-in process integrates mind, body, and heart intelligence
• Breaking generational patterns requires awareness and acceptance without judgment
• Connection with others begins with connecting to yourself first
• Being willing to "go first" with vulnerability transforms relationship dynamics
• Accepting your own humanity and your partner's humanity is key to stronger connection
For free resources including the check-in process Annmarie mentioned, visit annmariechereso.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Jason Whiting explores honesty, emotions, and relationship repair as foundational elements for building trust and connection in committed partnerships.
• Honesty is universally valued but challenging to maintain consistently in relationships
• Research shows people tell an average of three lies in ten minutes when first meeting someone new
• Emotions strongly influence how we perceive our partners and can turn them into "enemies" rather than allies
• Editing words to find truth rather than hiding it distinguishes authentic honesty from reactive "brutal honesty"
• Basic self-care practices like sleep, exercise, and nutrition significantly impact relationship quality
• Negotiated timeouts provide space to calm down before addressing relationship challenges
• Authenticity develops through consistent choices to be reflective rather than defensive
• Trust requires consistent effort to build and significant time to repair after betrayal
• Small, consistent acts of commitment build trust more effectively than grand gestures
Remember that trust is something that can be grown with consistent effort, and relationships thrive when we prioritize giving them quality time and attention.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Relationship coach Monica Tanner returns to discuss her new book "Bad Marriage Advice: 15 Myths That Are Keeping You Miserable" and challenges conventional wisdom that may be damaging marriages. She explores how common advice like "happy wife, happy life" and "don't sweat the small stuff" creates imbalanced relationships, poor communication patterns, and prevents couples from addressing issues before they become serious problems.
• "Happy wife, happy life" places too much responsibility on women for the emotional atmosphere while encouraging men to silence their own needs
• "Divorce is not an option" can prevent couples from growing and making necessary changes when they believe they're stuck regardless of effort
• Instead of compromise where nobody gets what they want, try collaboration through curiosity about each other's underlying needs
• Newlyweds should establish a relationship with a coach/counselor early as prevention rather than waiting for crisis
• "Don't sweat the small stuff" ignores how minor irritations become major resentments—address issues while they're still small
• Most relationship patterns stem from childhood programming and past experiences that shape automatic reactions
• The key to stronger marriages is consciousness (understanding yourself and your partner) and effective communication
• Happily ever after is possible when couples view marriage as a "people-growing machine" that helps them become their best selves
Find Monica Tanner's book at badmarriageadvice.com or learn more about her work at monicatanner.com.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dating requires intention and skill, whether you're looking for fun or seeking a lifelong partnership. Marriage and family therapist Stacey Hubbard joins us to share her Gottman-based approach for singles navigating the relationship landscape.
• Building friendship first is crucial when dating - take things slowly and watch for signs of trustworthiness
• The honeymoon phase typically lasts 6-18 months with feel-good chemicals making us more trusting
• Understanding the three phases of relationships: limerence (honeymoon), trust-building, and commitment
• Many couples skip from honeymoon phase to commitment without properly building trust
• Trust indicators include honesty, transparency, proof of alliance, ethical actions, and accountability
• Develop a "positive habit of mind" by scanning for what's good rather than focusing on flaws
• Successful couples dedicate at least six hours a week to their relationship
• Focus on "unique value" (personality, values, interests) rather than just "mate value" (physical attraction)
Check out the Lessons in Love for Singles workshop at gottman.com under the singles dropdown, or visit staceyhubbard.com for more resources.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Talal Al-Saleem breaks down the complexities of infidelity from definition to recovery, offering hope through his specialized Systematic Affair Recovery Therapy approach. He challenges common misconceptions about infidelity causes and provides practical guidance for both healing after betrayal and safeguarding relationships against it.
• Understanding infidelity as a breach of the unique exclusivity contract between partners
• Recognizing that infidelity stems from three categories: relationship factors, individual factors, and socio-environmental factors
• Acknowledging that good people can make awful mistakes like infidelity
• Setting the stage for healing by staying together (if safe), avoiding contact with affair partners, and protecting children from details
• Safeguarding relationships through introspection, clear partner "job descriptions," and weekly relationship check-ins
• Seeing infidelity recovery as an opportunity to make informed decisions about the future, whether together or apart
• Understanding that vulnerability to infidelity exists in all relationships, requiring ongoing vigilance
Check out Dr. Talal Al-Saleem's resources at systematicaffairrecoverytherapy.com for clinicians and Infidelity Counseling Center for clients. His books and YouTube channel "The Infidelity Doctor" offer valuable insights for both professionals and individuals dealing with infidelity.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Jeffrey Du shares groundbreaking research identifying four key factors for a stronger marriage: commitment, protectiveness, shared religious attendance, and regular date nights. These factors emerged from data collected from over 2,000 individuals across the United States, focusing specifically on elements within couples' control.
• Commitment means intentionally prioritizing your spouse and marriage amid busy lives
• Protectiveness involves emotional safeguarding, loyalty, and consistently having your spouse's back
• Shared religious attendance creates deeper connection through joint spiritual experiences
• Regular date nights (at least twice monthly) significantly boost marital happiness
• Shared financial decision-making and joint bank accounts correlate with higher marital satisfaction
• Small, daily actions matter more for relationship health than occasional grand gestures
• Marriage requires intentionality – like a plant needing daily sunshine and regular water
• Premarital education provides couples with important foundations for success
For more information, visit the Institute for Family Studies website or contact Dr. Jeffrey Du directly at jeff_du@byu.edu.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Lisa Valentine Clark shares her extraordinary journey of love and resilience through her husband Christopher's battle with ALS, offering profound insights on how their marriage was strengthened through humor, sacrifice, and intentionally seeking joy amid terminal illness.
• Starting as friends performing in a comedy play at BYU—Lisa as a chicken, Christopher as Satan—created a foundation of laughter and friendship for their 25-year marriage
• Humor played a crucial role in their relationship, making each other laugh even through the darkest moments
• When Christopher was diagnosed with ALS in 2020, Lisa describes entering "go time" mode, committing fully to caregiving while he continued creating art until his final days
• During COVID lockdown, Christopher invited friends to entertain him through their living room window, creating unexpected moments of connection and joy
• The diagnosis shifted their marriage from equitable to sacrificial, with Lisa caring for Christopher and him focusing on leaving meaningful legacies for her and their five children
• Christopher orchestrated a surprise 25th wedding anniversary celebration two days before his death, demonstrating his outward focus even when dying
• Lisa emphasizes loyalty to friendship as the key to a stronger marriage—seeing your spouse as your best friend and being their biggest cheerleader
• Being fully present in the moment allowed them to find unexpected joy even during the most difficult circumstances
• Lisa's advice for couples facing health challenges: "Go all in" on caregiving without worrying about consequences
• For those who have lost someone: "You don't honor love by ceasing to exist—you honor it by loving, creating and living"
Listen to Lisa's podcasts, The Lisa Show and Council of Moms, wherever you get your podcasts.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Steve Harris joins us to explain discernment counseling, a specialized approach helping couples gain clarity about whether to work on their marriage or move toward divorce.
• Developed at the University of Minnesota after research showed 30% of divorcing couples had at least one person who didn't want the divorce
• Differs from traditional couples therapy by focusing on decision-making clarity rather than relationship improvement
• Designed specifically for "mixed-agenda couples" where one partner wants to work on the marriage while the other is considering divorce
• Creates a structured space where ambivalence about the relationship is welcomed and explored
• Presents three paths: continuing the status quo, moving toward divorce, or committing to six months of intensive work on the relationship
• Typically runs 1-5 sessions with both joint and individual components
• Helps both partners recognize their own contributions to marital problems, not just their partner's failings
• Results show approximately 51% choose to work on their marriage, with 70-75% of those successfully repairing their relationship
• Even couples who ultimately divorce benefit from better understanding and communication
Visit MinnesotaCouplesOnTheBrink.org or discernmentcounseling.com to learn more and find trained counselors in your area.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Chad Ford returns to share powerful insights from his new book 70x7, exploring how fear drives conflict and how radical forgiveness can transform our marriages and relationships. His work as an international conflict mediator brings unique perspectives on moving from destructive to constructive conflict patterns.
• Understanding that conflict is natural and inevitable in marriage—the goal isn't eliminating conflict but handling it well
• Recognizing common conflict styles: avoidance (burying issues), accommodation (always giving in), and competition (needing to win)
• Practicing the "risk of embrace"—opening arms in invitation, waiting, embracing, and gracefully letting go
• Moving beyond "forgive and forget" to true reconciliation through truth, forgiveness, justice, and assurance of change
• "Rolling away stones"—choosing to give partners what they need rather than what we think they deserve
• Transforming complaints into invitations for deeper connection
• Starting "close in" by practicing conflict transformation skills at home before tackling larger societal conflicts
Visit DangerousLoveBook.com or ChadFord.Substack.com to sign up for free conflict transformation resources, including conflict style assessments and articles on healthy boundaries.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
How do you transform relationship challenges into opportunities for growth? What does it mean to truly flourish together beyond mere happiness? When hardship strikes, what separates couples who crumble from those who emerge stronger?
Dr. Nathan Lenhart, assistant professor at Brigham Young University and author of "The Science of Virtue," tackles these profound questions with refreshing clarity. He introduces the concept of "capital R Resilience" versus "lowercase r resilience" – distinguishing between transformative crucible experiences and smaller but meaningful gains from everyday challenges.
Through the practical ABCX model (Stressor + Resources + Perception = Stress Response), Dr. Lenhart unpacks how couples can navigate everything from cancer diagnoses to daily work-family conflicts. He emphasizes that our resources (community support, extended family) and especially our perception of events dramatically affect our resilience trajectory. As he poignantly notes, sometimes the question isn't "why did this happen?" but rather "how can we make the most of this time together?"
The conversation deepens as Dr. Lenhart challenges our culture's fixation on happiness and satisfaction, which he describes as "fragile" and often "hollow" when pursued individualistically. Instead, he advocates for relationship flourishing – characterized by meaning, belonging, and growth – as a more stable foundation that withstands life's inevitable storms. His cross-cultural research reveals how Americans who chase happiness often end up less fulfilled than those in more relationally-focused cultures, suggesting our approach to happiness itself might need recalibrating.
Perhaps most thought-provoking is Dr. Lenhart's assertion that virtues like gratitude, forgiveness, and humility underlie truly successful relationships, more fundamental than even communication skills. "It doesn't matter how effectively you're communicating if you're communicating your distaste for each other," he observes. His recommendation to find inspiring relationships to emulate acknowledges that transformation often begins with inspiration rather than instruction.
Whether you're facing acute trauma or chronic stressors in your relationship, this episode offers both practical frameworks and profound wisdom. Listen now to discover how you can not just survive challenges together, but genuinely flourish through them.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Alexandra Stockwell shares her journey from physician to intimacy coach and reveals how couples can create passionately intimate marriages through authenticity rather than compromise. She offers transformative insights on cultivating everyday eroticism, communicating with kindness, and deepening emotional connection to enhance sensual experiences.
• Developing "everyday eroticism" by making conscious choices to embody sensuality in daily activities
• Distinguishing between "nice" communication that suppresses authenticity and "kind" communication that honors both partners
• Understanding how "uncompromising intimacy" creates more passion than traditional compromises
• Identifying different types of conversations and framing them clearly for better understanding
• Using the question "How old do I feel right now?" to recognize when younger parts of ourselves are driving reactions
• Maintaining genuine curiosity about your partner through intentional questions
• Focusing on quality rather than quantity for both physical intimacy and date nights
• Recognizing that having a fantastic relationship is a learnable skill that anyone can develop
Visit alexandrastockwell.com to learn about Dr. Stockwell's coaching programs, book "Uncompromising Intimacy," and podcast "The Intimate Marriage Podcast."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Julie Blackburn shares her expertise on helping couples maintain strong relationships during the challenging transition to parenthood, drawing on her experience as a registered nurse, midwife, and Bringing Baby Home educator.
• 67% of couples become unhappy with each other during the first three years of their baby's life
• The greatest gift you can give your baby is a happy and strong relationship between parents
• Parenting differences stem from our upbringing and personal experiences
• The "secret sauce" for healthy relationships includes maintaining friendship, regulating conflict, and creating shared meaning
• Criticism can cause partners (especially dads) to withdraw from parenting involvement
• When dad is unhappy in his relationship with mom, a gulf often grows between him and his child
• Father involvement is crucial for child development, affecting temperament, self-regulation, confidence, and academic performance
• Military families face unique challenges requiring extra intentionality in maintaining connection
• The Gottman card deck app offers structured ways to maintain meaningful conversations and express needs without criticism
• Keeping an emotional "bank account" full through expressions of fondness and admiration sustains relationships through challenges
The key to a stronger marriage connection is friendship and kindness. Remember to remain each other's best friend, hold space for each other, and keep telling your partner how much you appreciate them.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Greg Denning shares his journey from a troubled childhood to creating an extraordinary marriage and family life while traveling to over 60 countries with his wife and seven children. His positive energy and unique ability to inspire others stems from his personal transformation after leaving home at 16 and experiencing homelessness before discovering the secrets to creating a happy life.
• Making marriage the true priority by saying no to anything that competes with the relationship
• Using micro deposits (daily acts of connection) and macro deposits (regular getaways and annual honeymoon trips) to invest in marriage
• Applying the "Silent Film Test" – asking if observers would know your spouse is your priority based only on actions
• Working on yourself first – resolving personal issues that create obstacles in your marriage
• Understanding that men can increase their capacity to handle pressure through mindset shifts and physical health
• Learning to truly listen to your spouse without trying to fix or respond
• Strategically creating systems that enable you to manage complex family life without burnout
• Remembering the marriage equation: as you improve yourself, the relationship improves even if only one partner is initially working on it
We live at the level of our habits, not our hopes. Don't settle for a mediocre marriage – keep pursuing your dream of a phenomenal relationship through consistent small adjustments that create big differences over time.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Struggling to understand what makes a relationship flourish over time? In this eye-opening episode with Dutch-American psychologist Julie Sharon, we uncover the science-backed secrets that separate thriving marriages from those that falter.
When couples find themselves locked in the same frustrating conflict patterns, the answer might be surprisingly physiological. Julie reveals how a racing heart (over 100 BPM) signals we've entered "fight or flight" mode—a state where productive communication becomes nearly impossible. Learn why taking a structured 20-30 minute break can transform heated arguments into constructive conversations, and why agreeing to return to difficult topics builds crucial trust.
The episode dives deep into the Gottmans' groundbreaking research on "bids for connection"—those small moments when we reach toward our partner for acknowledgment or engagement. Julie explains why couples who respond positively to these bids 86% of the time stay happily married, while those responding only 33% of the time face relationship breakdown. These seemingly minor interactions create what she calls an "emotional bank account" that buffers relationships during inevitable conflicts.
Beyond the research, Julie shares practical tools you can implement today: the stress-reducing conversation (listening without solving), effective repair attempts after conflicts, and creating a culture of appreciation and kindness. She emphasizes that healthy relationships aren't conflict-free—they simply maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during disagreements.
Ready to transform your relationship? Start by looking inward at your own contributions rather than focusing on your partner's shortcomings. As Julie reminds us: "Slow down, take a look inside. Don't respond too quickly. Think before you act, think before you speak, feel before you speak."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Ryan Seedall draws on his 20+ years of experience as a therapist to share insights about relationship conflict patterns and the role of attachment in marriage dynamics. He provides practical pointers to strengthen marriage connections, including how to navigate the demand-withdraw cycle and use anger productively.
• Healthy marriages require not just absence of negative interactions but presence of positive ones
• Couples need to recover from conflict, not just learn how to argue better
• The demand-withdraw pattern creates a cycle where one person's behavior triggers the exact response they're trying to avoid
• "Signal and respond" describes how partners communicate needs and respond to each other
• Anger serves as a protest signal that something needs attention, not necessarily a destructive force
• Technology creates new challenges for couples, with text arguments losing crucial nonverbal cues
• Mixed-faith marriages require special navigation of differing beliefs and values
• Early intervention is crucial - addressing small issues before they become entrenched patterns
• Attunement to partner's emotional state builds trust and connection
• Vulnerability, when met with responsiveness, creates deeper intimacy
Remember, it's the small things that create a stronger marriage connection. Find more resources at StrongerMarriage.org, including workshops, e-courses, webinars and relationship surveys.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Mary Kay Cocharo shares how Imago therapy helps transform relationship conflicts into opportunities for healing childhood wounds through a structured dialogue process that fosters safety, understanding, and deep connection.
• Imago theory suggests we're unconsciously attracted to partners who possess both positive and negative traits of our childhood caretakers
• Relationships typically move from a romantic stage (lasting about two years) to a power struggle phase where childhood wounds emerge
• 50% of married couples divorce during the power struggle phase after about six years of conflict
• The Intentional Dialogue process involves mirroring (reflecting what was said), validating (acknowledging the other's perspective makes sense), and empathizing
• Surface conflicts often mask deeper childhood wounds, as illustrated by a couple fighting about a dog that actually connected to grief over a mother's death
• Sitting 18 inches apart with eye contact calms the limbic brain and activates the cortex, creating a neurobiological state conducive to problem-solving
• People typically respond to conflict by either "hyper-arousing" (getting louder/more expressive) or "hypo-arousing" (withdrawing/shutting down)
• Three key elements for a stronger marriage connection: touch/physical affection, safe/respectful communication, and shared activities
• Focus on the dynamic in the space between you rather than blaming your partner
• Simple eye gazing for a few minutes can rebuild connection when words have become triggering
Mary Kay's Resources
https://www.mkcocharo.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Brian Doss shares a science-backed digital resource called Our Relationship that helps couples identify relationship challenges and implement effective solutions through a structured framework.
• Our Relationship program has been continuously funded by the NIH for 15 years and helped tens of thousands of couples
• The DEEP framework helps couples understand Differences, Emotions, External stress, and Patterns of communication
• Surface emotions like anger often mask hidden emotions like hurt, loneliness, or feeling disconnected
• "Invisible support" like doing household tasks before your partner notices can significantly reduce relationship stress
• Expressing gratitude for small actions helps maintain positive connections with your partner
• The program takes approximately 8-10 hours and offers optional coaching support
• Free versions are available for military families and qualifying households based on income
• Research shows the program improves not just relationships but also mental health, physical health, and family functioning
Visit OurRelationship.com to learn more about the program, which is available both online and through app stores.
Brian's Resources
https://www.ourrelationship.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Relationship churning—the pattern of breaking up and getting back together with the same partner—affects nearly half of young adults and creates emotional whiplash for couples, children, and their support networks. Dr. Sarah Halpern-Meekin shares her groundbreaking research on this common relationship phenomenon, explaining why couples fall into these patterns and what it means for their wellbeing.
• Relationship churning comes in two main forms: breaking up and getting back together, and having sex with an ex
• Nearly half of young adults report churning in their current or most recent relationship
• Churning relationships show higher psychological distress, lower satisfaction, and worse communication, but surprisingly higher intimate self-disclosure
• Fathers in churning relationships stay more involved with their children than those who permanently break up
• Economic distress, incarceration history, and one-sided breakups increase likelihood of churning
• The key to healthy relationships includes investing time in connection, developing conflict management skills, and setting clear expectations
• Before reconciling after a breakup, ask if what caused the original breakup has actually changed
Sarah's Resources
https://www.irp.wisc.edu/staff/halpern-meekin-sarah/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Connection forms the foundation of mental health and happiness, with disconnection from ourselves, others, the world, and something greater underlying virtually every psychological struggle we face.
• Four types of connection: with self (authenticity), others (relationships), the world (nature/art), and something greater (awe/spirituality)
• Modern distractions like social media, FOMO, and constant digital interruptions actively prevent meaningful connection
• Self-connection provides the foundation for all other connections - if disconnected from ourselves, we can't truly connect elsewhere
• Personal "connection formulas" vary widely - activities that energize one person may drain another
• Novel shared experiences allow families and couples to see each other through fresh eyes and strengthen bonds
• Friendships serve vital roles that romantic relationships cannot replace - no single relationship can meet all our connection needs
• Workplace connection can be found by developing valued skills and experiencing flow states even in less-than-ideal jobs
• Loneliness impacts physical health more than smoking, highlighting connection as a fundamental human need
The book "Super Psyched: Unleash the Power of the Four Types of Connection and Live the Life You Love" is available now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and you can learn more at DrAdamDorsay.com.
Adam's Resources
https://dradamdorsay.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Betrayal trauma occurs when trust is violated within a relationship, creating a profound alteration of reality for the betrayed partner and causing symptoms similar to PTSD. David Jones, a licensed marriage and family therapist, shares insights on the unique challenges of betrayal trauma and offers a three-part framework for healing.
• Betrayal trauma is defined as an "alteration of reality" - discovering that what you thought was true about your relationship wasn't
• What makes betrayal trauma unique is that the betrayed often must interact with the source of their trauma
• The "three legs of the stool" framework for healing: boundaries, individual coping skills/self-care, and connections
• Recovery takes significant time - often years - but healing is possible whether the relationship continues or ends
• Forgiveness does not equal trust - forgiveness is releasing bitterness while trust must be earned through consistent behavior
• Emotional safety forms the foundation for rebuilding connection after betrayal
• Support people should be "marriage friendly" if the couple is working toward reconciliation
If you'd like to learn more about the resources discussed in this episode, visit Secure Connection Counseling at secureconnectioncounseling.com or explore the resources available at StrongerMarriage.org.
David's Links:
https://secureconnectioncounseling.com/
About David Jones:
David Jones is dedicated to strengthening marriages and families. Growing up with divorced parents and a father in recovery from alcoholism shaped his passion for helping couples navigate challenges. His own blended family of eight children further fuels his commitment to marriage therapy.
A Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist, Certified Family Life Educator, and EFT Supervisor Candidate, David specializes in helping couples facing betrayal trauma, infidelity, sexual addiction, and ADHD-related relationship struggles. He also teaches university courses on family relationships and serves as an Army Reserve Chaplain, expanding his real-world perspective.
As an AAMFT-Approved Supervisor and EFT Supervisor in Training, David is a leader in his field. He applies attachment theory to therapy, believing that secure relationships not only heal but create lasting transformation. Clients often credit his work with saving their marriages. With a deep well of experience, empathy, and expertise, David is a trusted guide for couples seeking healing and growth.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Faith and religion shape marriages by influencing beliefs, practices, and community connections that help couples build "championship marriages" through shared sacred purpose. Dr. Loren Marks shares insights from the American Families of Faith Project, featuring interviews with 300 exemplary couples from 20+ faith traditions.
• Shared beliefs create a "family vision" that transcends daily conflicts and provides meaning
• Religious practices like family prayer, Shabbat dinners, and observing Ramadan strengthen marital bonds
• Faith communities offer support, mentorship, and "friends of the marriage" who invest in couples' success
• Even spouses from identical religious backgrounds have different spiritual experiences—every marriage is an "interfaith marriage"
• The "divine triangle" concept shows how spouses on individual spiritual journeys converge as they move toward God
• Big C Commitment (commitment "no matter what") versus little c commitment (conditional commitment) makes the difference in lasting marriages
• Great marriages weren't always great—many couples shared they would have "jumped ship" without faith helping them through early struggles
• Religion can harm marriages when it becomes a "time affair" or when applied too rigidly without relational flexibility
Marriage is an invitation to increased holiness, where "you lift me and I'll lift thee, and together we will ascend."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Liz and Dr. Dave welcome Dr. Janet Erickson to discuss the profound impact of marriage on children and families, exploring how parental relationships shape child development and identity formation.
• Strong marriages create a sense of wholeness, identity, and belonging for children
• Research consistently shows divorce has significant impacts on children of all ages
• Children of divorce often face existential questions about their identity and place
• Adult children of divorce can overcome challenges by witnessing healthy marriage models
• A "good enough" marriage is worth fighting for, though abusive relationships warrant separation
• Marriage involves a journey from "loving without knowing" to "being seen, known, and loved"
• Maintaining family rituals provides stability during transitions
• Personal growth and self-awareness are crucial for healthy relationships
• Happiness ultimately comes from deep connection with others
"We are relational beings and relationships are worth it, and this is the essence of life. Happiness is love full stop, and our ability to love and to be in loving relationships is worth the growth. It will take growth. It's going to take change in all of us, but that's what we're born for. It's what we desire more than anything."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Liz and Dr. Dave welcome Joni Parthimer, education director for the Gottman Institute's Bringing Baby Home program, to discuss how couples can maintain a strong relationship while navigating the challenges of new parenthood.
About Joni:
Joni Parthemer, M.Ed., is a Master Trainer and Education Director for the Bringing Baby Home Program. She is a certified Childbirth Educator and faculty member at Bastyr University’s Simkin Center, specializing in birth and family education at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle.
An award-winning speaker and consultant, Joni brings decades of experience, authenticity, and wit to her work with families and educators. She has developed and published training materials to support family and community growth. Married with two children, she is passionate about helping families thrive.
Key Points:
• Research shows 67% of couples experience a significant drop in relationship satisfaction after becoming parents
• Three key ingredients for relationship success: maintaining friendship, respectful conflict regulation, and creating shared family meaning
• The NURSE framework helps new parents prioritize self-care: Nutrition, Understanding support needs, Rest/Resources, Soul-feeding activities, and Exercise
• CPR parenting (Consistent, Predictable, Responsive) builds emotional security for infants
• Babies communicate through non-verbal cues and states of consciousness from birth
• Understanding infant development helps parents respond appropriately to their needs
• Grandparents play an evolving role and should ask what support looks like for each family
• Creating a postpartum plan before baby arrives helps the transition for everyone involved
• The greatest gift parents can give children is a healthy relationship between themselves
• The "family fish tank" metaphor reminds us children are only as healthy as their family ecosystem
Insights:
Joni: “A child's well-being is deeply influenced by the health of their family environment. The best gift parents can give their children is a strong, healthy relationship—whether married, divorced, or co-parenting. Parents serve as role models for future relationships, shaping how their children connect with others. By maintaining friendship, managing conflict with respect, and creating shared meaning through family rituals, couples can build a supportive and nurturing "family fish tank" that fosters lasting emotional security.”
Liz: “The CPR approach—Consistency, Predictability, and Responsiveness—is not just valuable for parenting but also strengthens all relationships, including marriage and friendship. By being reliable, steady, and attentive, we create trust and connection in our most important relationships.”
Dave: “Education is key to growth. With so many resources available t
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Besure to watch this and every episode on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/pXpkkT0DyZA
Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm talk with Dr. Brad Wilcox, sociology professor and Director of the National Marriage Project, about why marriage matters more than ever. They discuss its key benefits—emotional support, financial stability, child well-being, and community strength—while addressing challenges like cohabitation, communication struggles, and shifting cultural attitudes. This episode offers practical insights and hope for building strong, lasting marriages.
About Dr. Wilcox:
W. Bradford Wilcox is a Freedom Fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and a nonresident senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. He researches marriage, fatherhood, and the impact of strong families on society.
The author of Get Married (HarperCollins, 2024), Wilcox has coauthored six books and written for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and National Review. His research has been featured in major media outlets, and he consults with companies like Nestlé and Procter & Gamble on marriage and fertility trends.
A Jefferson Scholar at UVA (‘92), he earned his Ph.D. from Princeton and held research fellowships at Princeton, Yale, and Brookings before joining the University of Virginia.
Insights:
Brad: “Appreciate the unique strengths you and your spouse bring to your marriage. Instead of striving for a perfect 50/50 split, cultivate gratitude for each other's distinct gifts and express it regularly.”
Liz: “Skip cohabitation—say yes to marriage and staying committed.”
Dave: “Relationships have struggles, but intentionality matters. Slow down, respond instead of reacting, and focus on hope. Stick to foundational principles, whether learned or newly embraced, to build a strong, lasting marriage.”
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Be sure to watch this episode on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/tEm34gytP4A
Today Laura Heck and Zach Brittle, co-hosts of Marriage Therapy Radio, break down why couples argue and how to navigate disagreements in a healthy way. Drawing from Dr. John Gottman’s research, they explore practical strategies to express needs, take responsibility, regulate emotions, and increase appreciation.
About:
Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Gottman Therapist, specializing solely in helping couples navigate conflict and intimacy. She co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, leads The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work workshop, coaches women in the Epic Wives Experiment, and speaks for The Gottman Institute.
When she’s not working with couples, Laura enjoys trail running with her dog, experimenting in the kitchen, and playing (admittedly bad) golf. She’s been married for 16 years and has a seven-year-old son.
Zach Brittle is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) with nearly 20 years of experience in evidence-based couples therapy. He co-hosts Marriage Therapy Radio, created Your Marriage Masterclass, and authored The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. His insights have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Vanity Fair, and more.
Married to Rebecca for 21 of 23 years, Zach lives in Seattle with their two daughters. They own a minivan and still use most of their wedding silverware.
Insights:
Laura: "Gratitude is a practice that requires reminders. Set an alarm to text your partner appreciation or reflect on what you're grateful for—it’s a simple habit that strengthens relationships."
Zach: "Laura and I are transitioning Marriage Therapy Radio, and I’m feeling sad about it. I’ve loved these meaningful conversations, and it’s bittersweet to see this chapter close."
Liz: "Timing matters in conversations. If my husband isn’t ready to discuss something, I check in later. It helps ensure we both have the bandwidth for important talks."
Dave: "Take responsibility for your emotions. Before reacting, look inward—cultivate patience, compassion, and understanding. It’s about getting your own heart right first."
Links:
Laura's Links:
Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast
Workshop For Couples
Epic Wives Experiment
Lau
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Besure to watch this episode on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/Lk5moCDwYWQ
Today Don and Carrie Cole return and share with host Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale a unique Relationship Evaluation checklist they created to help couples check up on there relationship connection. Don and Carrie also discuss unique insights and techniques they have learned in practice with couples at the Center for Relationship Wellness and The Gottman Institute to improve relationship connection and intimacy.
About Dr. Don & Carrie Cole:
Dr. Carrie Cole is the Director of Research for The Gottman Institute and manages the Gottman Love Lab. She holds a Ph.D. in psychological research and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She is a licensed professional counselor and an approved LPC supervisor in the State of Texas, a licensed mental health counselor in the State of Washington, and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Carrie is a Master Trainer for The Gottman Institute and trains therapists in Gottman Method Couples Therapy around the world. She is a consultant for the certification program and has led The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples multiple times a year since 2008. Carrie has also published peer-reviewed journal articles independently and with doctors John and Julie Gottman. Her work with couples includes couples therapy, workshops, seminars, and intensive marathon sessions. Carrie and her husband, Dr. Don Cole reside in Seattle, WA.
Links:
Centerforrelationshipwellness.com
carrie@gottman.com
don@gottman.com
gottman.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Be sure to watch this and every epsidoe of the podcast on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/IQ3pSyQ-9HY
Today on Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm sit down with Dr. Julie Hanks, a licensed therapist specializing in marriage and family therapy. They discuss the challenges couples face when dividing household labor and how to create a fair and equitable partnership. Dr. Hanks introduces the concept of a partnership model of family organization, emphasizing the importance of communication, shared responsibility, and recognizing invisible work. Listeners will learn how to navigate traditional gender roles, reduce resentment, and establish healthy household dynamics to strengthen their relationships.
About Julie:
Julie de Azevedo Hanks holds a PhD in marriage and family therapy and is a licensed therapist specializing in the intersection of faith, family relationships, and women's mental health for 3 decades. She is the owner of Wasatch Family Therapy, author of The Assertiveness Guide for Women, host of Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast, adjunct faculty in the MSW program at Utah Valley University, and an online content creator.
Insights:
- Julie: "Unpaid work is just as valuable as paid work. Recognize and appreciate both in your relationship to avoid unnecessary division."
- Liz: "Balance division of labor without creating division. The work doesn’t end when the paid job is over—how you divide responsibilities at home matters."
- Dave: "Beyond paid and unpaid work, there’s the mental load—planning, worrying, organizing. A simple ‘thank you’ for that unseen effort goes a long way."
Julie's Resources
Website: DrJulieHanks.com
Social Media: @DrJulieHanks
Books & Resources: The Assertiveness Guide for Women & Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Be sure to watch this and every episode of the podcast on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/zjuKWgivYNo
Today Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned relationship expert, joins Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss daily practices for love, relational self-awareness, and fostering intimacy. The conversation dives into overcoming relationship stagnation, understanding family of origin influences, and managing differences in relationship work. Learn how small, intentional actions and curiosity can transform your marriage into a thriving, intimate partnership.
About Dr. Solomon:
Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today's most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couple’s therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is on faculty in the school of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of two books: Taking Sexy Back and Loving Bravely, which was featured on the TODAY show.
Insights:
- Alexandra: "Study your reactivity—what makes you tense, urgent, or shut down. Be curious about what it reveals about where you're stuck or what you may need to ask for differently."
- Liz: "The past shapes us—either we put it in its place, or it runs the show. It’s crucial to explore childhood influences, both your own and your partner’s."
- Dave: "Consistency in love takes effort. Small, intentional check-ins—‘What’s on your mind? What can I do for you?’—are key to keeping relationships strong."
Dr. Solomon's Links:
Website: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/
Podcast: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcast/
Instagram: @dr.alexandra.so1omon
X: @AHSolomon
FB: https://www.facebook.com/dralexandrasolomon
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Be sure to watch this and every epsidoe of the podcast on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/yoBDCp1li2w
Today divorce attorney Padideh Jafari shares invaluable insights from her 22 years of experience. She delves into the common challenges marriages face, including financial stress, in-law interference, toxic positivity, and the seven- year itch. Padideh also provides practical tips for better communication, creating healthy boundaries, and the importance of self-awareness in marriage. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to strengthen their relationship or navigate marital challenges with wisdom and grace.
About Padideh Jafari
Padideh Jafari, Esq is the founder and CEO of Jafari Law & Mediation Office, APC, with locations in Los Angeles and Orange County. She earned her B.A. in Communication Studies with a minor in Psychology from Loyola Marymount University and her J.D. from Southwestern University School of Law.
During law school, Mrs. Jafari served as a Judicial Extern for the Honorable Michael D. Rutberg of the Los Angeles Superior Court and clerked for the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office, specializing in child abuse cases. She has also been an Adjunct Professor at NYU and the Southern California Institute of Law, teaching Family Law, Community Property, and Real Estate Law.
Admitted to the California Bar and the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California in 2003, Mrs. Jafari has over 22 years of experience handling complex Family Law matters, including high-asset property division, business valuation, cash-flow analysis, and high-stakes custody litigation. She is highly regarded in the Los Angeles and Orange County legal communities as a skilled Family Law litigator.
In addition to her legal practice, Mrs. Jafari co-hosts The Narcissist Abuse Recovery Channel (NARC), a weekly podcast focused on navigating divorce involving narcissistic partners. She frequently appears on television, YouTube, podcasts, and other media outlets to share her expertise.
Insights:
- Padideh: "I would say that before you decide to file for a divorce, do everything humanly possible in order to see if you can make the marriage work."
- Liz: "...turn over every stone. Let's make sure that we have looked at this left, right, upside down, backwards, inside out, to know that we've had [no] doubts there is no other way than divorce. I don't want people to leave or five years down the road say, gosh, looking back. What if? What if I found a better therapist? What if I tried harder? I want us to turn over every, every stumbling stone."
Links:
https://www.jafarilegal.com/
Instagram, Threads, TikTok: @JafariLegal
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Be sure to watch this and every epsidoe of the podcast on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/lz5PEu7SOlc
Jason Evert shares his insights on chastity, self-mastery, and the importance of authentic love in relationships. From defining chastity and its role in dating and marriage to discussing the damaging effects of pornography and the significance of tenderness in relationships, Jason provides actionable advice for singles and married couples alike. With a focus on faith-based values and practical guidance, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone looking to build stronger, healthier connections.
About Jason Evert:
Jason Evert has traveled to six continents to bring the message of purity to millions of people for more than 20 years. He is a best-selling author of more than 15 books, including Saint John Paul the Great, How to Find Your Soulmate without Losing Your Soul, and the curriculum YOU: Life, Love, and the Theology of the Body. He is a frequent guest on podcasts and radio programs throughout the country, and his television appearances include MSNBC, Fox News, the BBC, and EWTN. Jason runs Chastity Project, hosts the podcast “Lust is Boring,” and leads an international alliance of young people who promote purity in more than 40 countries.
Insights:
- Jason: "Pope John Paul II said, 'Love is a constant challenge from God.' Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s an act of will, choosing another’s good over your own."
- Liz: "Tenderness and self-mastery stood out to me. As Dave says, 'A healthy we starts with a healthy me.' These ideas will stay with me today."
- Dave: "The key theme is an 'outward mindset'—shifting from self-focus to truly seeing and valuing the other person’s perspective."
Links:
https://chastity.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today in this powerful episode, certified sex therapist Natasha Helfer joins Dave Schramm and Liz Hale to discuss the complex relationship between sexual health, faith, and cultural messages. Natasha sheds light on the damaging effects of sexual shame, the influence of purity culture, and the importance of open communication around intimacy. She offers actionable advice for parents, couples, and individuals to foster healthier sexual relationships, overcome shame, and approach intimacy with compassion and understanding. This conversation is filled with insights to help listeners navigate their sexual and relational well-being.
About Natasha:
The owner and founder of Symmetry Counseling. Natasha Helfer received her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Brigham Young University and her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Friends University. She also received her certifications as a sex therapist and sex therapist supervisor from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
Natasha is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in Kansas and Utah. She is also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.
Insights:
- Natasha: "Sexual shame is a public health crisis, impacting physical and emotional well-being—causing issues like vaginismus, anxiety, and even immune problems. It runs deep and must be addressed."
- Liz: "For those waiting until marriage, setting realistic expectations is key. Take time—three to six months—to adjust, communicate, and explore your sexuality without shame or pressure."
- Dave: "Parents must be proactive in shaping healthy conversations about sex. It’s not a one-time talk but an ongoing dialogue that fosters openness and prevents shame."
Natasha's Resources:
https://www.natashahelfer.com/
https://symcounseling.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Daniel Carlson joins Dave and Liz to discuss the division of household labor and its impact on marital satisfaction. From managing the mental load to ensuring fairness, Dr. Carlson shares research-backed strategies for balancing responsibilities at home. They explore the effects of the pandemic on gender roles, the importance of communication, and how couples can navigate household responsibilities to strengthen their relationships. This episode offers practical tips and insights for couples at all life stages, helping them foster mutual support and appreciation in their partnership.
marriageadvice #householdchores #genderroles
About
Dan Carlson is an associate professor of Family and Consumer Studies at the University of Utah and a Senior Fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families. He is a public scholar whose research has appeared in numerous television, print, and radio media outlets. Generally, his scholarship examines the causes and consequences of the Second Demographic Transition in U.S. society with a particular focus on the gendered division of labor. Currently, he is conducting an NSF-funded study examining long-term shifts in U.S. parents' divisions of labor since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic and their association with parents' well-being.
Insights
- Daniel: "Don't overlook the division of labor. It may not be exciting, but discussing expectations with your partner prevents misunderstandings and keeps both of you on the same page."
- Liz: "Instead of work-life balance, think of work-life justice—respect and communication matter. A simple check-in like, ‘I won’t be home much this week, can we plan for it?’ can make a big difference."
- Dave: "You can divide responsibilities without dividing the relationship—it's all about give and take."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Lesli Doares joins Dave and Liz to discuss the Hero Husband Project and practical ways husbands can strengthen their marriages. From building emotional safety and communication skills to creating a marriage blueprint, Lesli offers actionable advice for nurturing connection and fostering mutual respect. With over 20 years of experience, Lesli empowers husbands to step into their roles as partners and grow their relationships with intention. Whether it’s addressing common mistakes or implementing small, impactful changes, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to deepen their marital bond.
menmatter #mentalhealthmatters #menandmarriage #marriageaadvice
About
Lesli Doares brings over twenty years of experience working with individuals and couples as a coach and therapist. Combined with her personal experience in an almost 40-year relationship with her husband, she has created a paradigm shift in marriage so it can become a space where both partners feel respected and included.
Lesli is well known for her direct but compassionate approach – gentle, but total honesty is what you’ll get. Her commitment to her marriage and children led her to crisscross the country a couple of times until the L. A. girl settled down in the South. She brings this fusion of cultures to both her business and her life.
She is also the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After with More Intention, Less Work and Being a Hero Husband: How to Make Your Wife (and You) Happy.
Insights
- Lesli: "Relationships feel natural at first, but they require skills to thrive. Love needs attention, effort, and nourishment—if left to chance, it won’t last."
- Liz: "Men need more support. They want to be our heroes, and we should create space for them to step into that role. Prioritizing women’s physical and emotional safety fosters a stronger, more connected marriage."
- Dave: "Husbands should listen beyond tone and words to find the real pain—fear, frustration, or unmet needs. Instead of reacting defensively, focus on understanding and responding to what truly hurts.
https://www.theherohusbandproject.com/
https://foundationscoachingnc.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. Brandon Porter joins Dave and Liz to explore the importance of intentionality and creativity in keeping date nights alive. Brandon shares practical tips for busy couples, including the role of planning, novelty, and nostalgia in fostering connection. With a focus on affordability and accessibility, the conversation highlights how even small, intentional efforts can reignite romance and strengthen relationships. Whether it’s a cozy at-home date or a fresh experience, couples will find inspiration to prioritize quality time together.
marrieddating #marriageadvice #datingtips #datingideas #noveltyinmarriage
About
Brandon obtained a master's degree in family and human development and a PhD in education, both from Utah State University. He has developed curriculum for, presented on, and teaches college-level courses in marriage and family relationships. Brandon and his wife, Danielle, have created resources to support partners in deepening their friendship, increasing their harmony, and keeping date night alive. They've been married for 20 years and are the parents of 6 kids.
Insights
- Brandon - "When it comes to consistent date nights. Don't make it perfect, just make it happen."
- Liz - "I love the anticipation. That's something I'm going to apply. Starting today. We have a couple things coming up, and I'm going to send Benny a couple texts on that, anticipating and being together for whatever it might be."
- Dave - "I love the nostalgia idea. I love the novelty, the fun, the creativity. Togetherness, and I love that it's planned, intentional time, that togetherness."
Links
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarriageBuilttoThrive
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagebuilttothrive/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@marriagebuilttothrive
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. Dave Schramm interviews co-host Dr. Liz Hale on the best strategies for finding the right marriage therapist. They discuss what to look for, key questions to ask, and the importance of fit and specialized training in couples therapy. Whether you're considering marriage therapy for the first time or want to ensure you're working with the right professional, this episode provides practical advice to navigate the process effectively.
About Dr. Liz Hale
Dr. Liz Hale is a passionate marriage and family therapist with over 30 years of experience helping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships. Whether working with those eager to save their marriage or couples uncertain about their future together, Dr. Liz creates a safe, supportive space to explore the best path forward. Her flexible private practice allows for extended sessions tailored to each couple's unique needs, blending joint and individual consultations to foster open communication and effective progress.
Dr. Liz’s approach is rooted in personal experience and professional expertise. She understands the challenges of marriage firsthand, viewing it as both a humbling teacher and a source of profound fulfillment. With a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and specialized training from renowned experts like Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. David Burns, she integrates research-backed methods with personalized care to help couples thrive.
As a former host of KSL's The Dr. Liz Hale Show and current resident expert on Studio 5, Dr. Liz is known for her relatable, insightful advice on everything from stress to intimacy. While LDS herself, she welcomes clients of all backgrounds, incorporating their beliefs and values into a collaborative approach that strengthens their relationships. Dr. Liz is dedicated to guiding couples toward happier, healthier marriages built on mutual respect, trust, and connection.
Insights:
- Liz: "Liz addressed tough topics like the financial aspects of therapy and when divorce might be necessary. To enhance her impact, she could share more personal anecdotes or client stories (anonymized) and suggest simple, actionable steps listeners can take at home. Her focus on accountability and kindness created a lasting impression."
Resources:
Marriage Friendly Therapist:
https://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/
Gottman Referal Network:
https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/
American Association of Marriage & Family Therapist
https://www.aamft.org/
Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Good Therapy
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today on this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale speaks with Laura Doyle, New York Times bestselling author of The Empowered Wife and a relationship coach dedicated to ending world divorce. Laura shares the six intimacy skills that transformed her own marriage and have since helped thousands of women restore love and passion in their relationships. With practical advice on addressing common marital challenges, including respect, self-care, and creating a spouse-fulfilling prophecy, this episode offers a roadmap for a thriving marriage.
About Laura Doyle:
New York Times bestselling author Laura Doyle was the perfect wife…until she married. When she tried to improve her husband, he avoided her. She nearly divorced. Then she asked happy wives for their secrets and…got her miracle. Laura’s books are published in 30 countries, and she founded a coach training school. But she’s proudest of her 35-year marriage to John, who’s been dressing himself since before she was born.
Insights:
- Laura: Laura’s passion for empowering women to transform their marriages stands out. Her relatable storytelling and actionable advice about practicing respect, expressing desires, and using the "spouse-fulfilling prophecy" provided listeners with tangible tools for improving their relationships. Her vulnerability in sharing personal struggles and triumphs made her advice both credible and inspiring. Her emphasis on positivity, gratitude, and accountability resonated deeply, leaving a lasting message of
hope and empowerment.
Links:
https://lauradoyle.org/
https://connect.lauradoyle.org/roadmap
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale talk with therapist brothers Tyler and Brannon Patrick about the "Mr. Nice Guy" persona and its impact on relationships. Often driven by fear and insecurity, this behavior can unintentionally undermine trust and intimacy. The Patricks share how men can embrace authenticity, healthy masculinity, and deeper connection, offering actionable advice on boundaries, communication, and building a courageous marriage. Whether you relate to these challenges or seek to strengthen your relationship, this episode provides valuable insights.
nomoremrniceguy #marriage101 #marriageadvice
About:
Tyler has been dedicated to his own recovery for over 15 years, striving to live the principles he teaches and becoming a man of courage, passion, and love. Married for over 20 years and a proud father of four daughters, he enjoys fly-fishing, backpacking, training his German shorthair pointer, River, and supporting his children's interests.
As a marriage and family therapist, Tyler specializes in recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. He believes those who fully embrace recovery not only regain their lives but also become exceptional spouses and parents. He feels honored to guide individuals on their journey toward a connected and transformed life.
Brannon is passionate about repairing broken relationships and has created several programs for addiction recovery and betrayal. Since 2015, his online content has reached and helped heal thousands of couples worldwide. As co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH, he has extensive experience treating various addictions in settings ranging from inpatient psychiatric care to intensive outpatient programs. Brannon is also a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist with specialized training in recovery.
In addition to his clinical work, Brannon is a writer, blogger, podcaster, and content creator. He co-hosts The Betrayed, The Addicted, and The Expert podcast with Ashlynn and Coby Mitchell, offering unique perspectives on relationships, recovery, and addiction to guide listeners through meaningful change.
Insights:
- Brannon: "Authenticity is key to real relationships. Mr. Nice Guys fear showing their true selves—it takes courage, but it's necessary for connection."
- Tyler: "If this topic makes you uncomfortable, examine why. Then, discuss it with your spouse."
- Liz: "The yin-yang dynamic shows that embracing femininity inspires masculinity, and vice versa."
- Dave: "Kindness should be genuine, not fear-driven. Safety and trust form the foundation of a strong relationship."
Brannon and Tylers Resources
https://therapybrothers.org/about-us/
https://www
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today on the Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave Schramm and Liz Hale sit down with Blake Snow, author of Log Off, to discuss the impact of technology on relationships. Blake shares practical tips for setting boundaries with devices, finding balance, and rediscovering meaningful connection with loved ones. From "Montana moments" to screen-free Sundays, Blake offers simple strategies to reclaim your time and focus on what truly matters. Tune in to learn how to foster stronger relationships by managing technology use with intention and purpose
About Blake Snow:
Award-winning journalist Blake Snow writes for Fortune 500 companies, fancy publications, and 80% of America’s leading travel media. He is the best-selling author of two books, Log Off and Measuring History. A two-time marathoner, former 96% chess player, and avid recording artist, Blake enjoys cooking, playing soccer, and reading 8-10 books per year. High energy is his superpower. Liver in the present. Believer in the afterlife. Die-hard optimist. Blake resides with his wife and five children in Provo, Utah.
Insights:
- Blake: "You can do this. And I mean that generally like, if you don't like what's going on with your life on your phone and social media, you can make changes. You can do hard things, like, look back at all this incredible stuff humanity, that team human has done for centuries, and you're a part of that. And you can do something I might seems challenging. Uh. Or even with your relationship, but you're capable of great things. And I know and think and believe strongly that each of us have the capacity to change and
make changes in our life in a way that works for us and excites us and brings us towards greater health and fulfillment. So you can do this." - Liz: "I'm thinking of all kinds of things, all kinds of changes I'd like to make. Because, you know, if, if I don't control it, it, it is going to control me, info technology. And I'm even just thinking, you know, on date night, I always want my phone with me to clip pictures of Ben and I, dear friend of mine, once said, who lost her husband, she goes Liz. I'm so glad I took pictures on date night, so I make the excuse to have my phone there, but it is a distraction. So I'm thinking of investing in a small camera, and I'm thinking of going back to hard copy scriptures, because again, I take my phone to church. Why? Because scriptures are on there, but it's a distraction. So anyway, all kinds of things are running through my mind."
- Dave: "We've got to take back our time, take back our family, our activities, or put this instead of a half hour in the morning, I'm just going to go and scroll. Maybe go for a walk. Even better, phone a friend. Check in, use your technology."
Links:
https://blakesnow.com/about/
Visit
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this inspiring episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave Schramm and Liz
Casey and Meygan Caston, founders of Marriage 365, to share their journey from the brink of divorce to becoming marriage mentors. They discuss practical tools like the weekly marriage business meeting, emotional check-ins, and the 60-second blessing to help couples reconnect and thrive. With an emphasis on curiosity, intentionality, and self-awareness, the Castons provide actionable insights to strengthen relationships and build a lasting legacy of love.
Rebuilding love and connection starts with intentionality, curiosity, and the courage to work on yourself. Simple, consistent habits can create a strong, lasting marriage.
About Casey & Meygan:
Just three years into marriage, we were voted the couple least likely to succeed. We literally hated each other and had no idea how to get back the love and connection we’d once felt. Through lots of stumbling and trial and error, we did manage to walk back from the brink of divorce. But it was incredibly hard. Largely because there were no affordable and accessible resources for us back then. We felt like we were fumbling around in the dark.
So we created the exact resource we wish we’d had: Marriage365. Our restored marriage was the inspiration to help other couples who were feeling stuck, lost, and confused about how to reconnect. Today, our app and website reach millions of couples around the world every day, providing practical advice, tools, and inspiration. You can find all of those resources at www.marriage365.com. Our mission is to create a safe place for people to grow and ask questions that is available to anyone. Money or privilege should never prevent someone from
getting the tools they need to better themselves and their relationships.
Insights:
- Meygan: "I think everybody should lift up their head and do an emotional check in with themselves, and pick an area of their life where they know that it could probably be better, health, parenting, work, marriage, and just ask yourself, what's working, what's not working, and what needs to change. And that will be truly a gift of self care for someone listening today."
- Casey: "If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you, it is a message of empowerment, and it means that you can actually work on your marriage by yourself. You don't have to wait and don't have to feel stuck because your partner's not willing to join."
- Liz: "...the power of the tongue. Your Words have the power to give life or death. Yep, we know that. I just don't think of that nearly enough."
- Dave: "I think it's this intentionality. It may be that you have never done that, and that might feel awkward, but if couples will just do it, adopt some of these positive practices to build that relationship connection. It will work."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale are joined by therapist Jake Baczuk to explore the transformative concepts of the pain and peace cycles. Jake, a clinical manager and couples’ therapist, explains how negative patterns in behavior and communication create pain cycles that keep couples stuck in frustration and resentment. He introduces the peace cycle as a way to disrupt these patterns by focusing on understanding underlying emotions and unmet needs. Tune in to learn about the practical tools and techniques to foster empathy, self-reflection, and more peaceful responses in your relationships.
About Jake Baczuk:
Jake is a clinical manager for evolvedMD, an integrated behavioral health company that utilizes the Collaborative Care Model in Primary Care settings. Jake is passionate about this because they are creating access to mental and behavioral health to a population that would not otherwise receive help. It's amazing! He enjoys writing and playing music, playing softball, watching baseball, and spending time with his wife and three kids. He enjoys doing couples therapy and hope’s to start a small private practice in the near future.
Insights:
- Jake: "Recognize that we're all human beings that are going to make mistakes that we're not necessarily broken or wrong, because our love or trustworthiness was breached at some point in our life. And when we understand that human element of ourselves, then we have so many opportunities to move in directions that are healthy, whether it's individually or within our relationship or within our family or at work or anything like that."
- Liz: "I think whether we're partners or just individuals. We're powerful. So, as we look at the pain cycle or the peace cycle, I just think that there's probably a magic in the pause just to think, now wait a minute, where might that person be coming from? What's really going underneath their behavior? So, I love that. I love the reminder of that cycle."
- Dave: "...you talked about the boxes and learning not to react to your partner's behavior, but really respond to what's underneath, and that's the emotions. These needs are often deep and hidden, but if we can look past that and really see them and understand them, we may not agree with it, but to understand is powerful."
Links:
Jake Baczuk: Psychology Today Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/887887
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Heather Holmgren, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Simple Modern Therapy. Heather shares insights on emotional regulation, the essential skill of deep listening, and how to approach conflict with curiosity rather than reactivity. She explains the importance of self- awareness, emotional control, and co-regulation to help couples navigate difficult conversations. Heather provides actionable advice for slowing down during conflicts, truly hearing your partner, and fostering a healthy, supportive relationship.
About Heather:
Heather Holmgren, LMFT and founder of Simple Modern Therapy, has committed her 20-year career to understanding what makes a modern relationship thrive. Through it all she has found this much to be true: if you aren't happy with yourself, your intimate and professional relationships are likely to fail. She has built a flourishing career and flourishing practice helping contemporary individuals, relationships and families learn to love each other, “Love Yourself and Love Your Life."
She is one of eight incredible therapists providing support to individuals and relationships in downtown Salt Lake City (and Utah, virtually). All Simple Modern therapists have additional training and expertise in relationship work, as well as providing affirming care to LGBTQIA+ relationships.
Heather is passionate about professional mentorship and has supervised clinicians for the last ten years. She is a strong advocate for the practice of good mental hygiene, and can be found speaking on this topic, as well as relationship related issues on Good Things Utah, at Edison House and for corporations across the state. You can also find Heather, with her colleague Andrès Brown, providing training, support and consultation to the larger therapeutic community, expanding the reach of skilled and affirming inclusive relationship therapy.
Insights:
- Heather: "The more aware you are of where you are emotionally, what kind of outside stressors are impacting your mental health and mood can really be a big factor in how you're showing up in your relationships."
- Liz: "Just thinking about speaking of being generous and kind. I think listening is one of the more generous and kindest things that we can do."
- Dave: "I think it's when you're talking about the pause. I just think that there's a power in the pause. The power in the pause to be able to not react, to be able to gives us at least a chance, pause, take a breath, allow our hearts, our minds, our brains, to be able to okay, I'm going to reflect and respond instead of react right now."
Links:
https://simplemodern.org/
https://www.instagram.com/simplemoderntherapy/?hl=en
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today we welcome licensed mental health counselor Andy Hogan, who shares his personal journey with mental illness and how it has influenced his work with others. Andy introduces his REACH acronym—a powerful tool designed to support both those living with mental illness and their loved ones. The discussion dives into the importance of love over fear in the healing journey, methods to recognize and manage symptoms, and ways to build empathy and connection. Learn how to better support mental health with compassion and understanding.
About Andy Hogan:
Andrew personally suffered a manic psychosis breakdown while serving a mission in Taiwan. He was tranquilized and woke up in a hospital in Provo. During a month-stay in the hospital, his high school sweetheart decided to end their relationship. They never talked about why, she just slowly made less and less contact and avoided him over a period of time. 3 years later, Andrew became so desperate for an answer, he proposed. She said, "I can't." This was his rock bottom moment, where the choice was either stop living or start to REACH.
REACH
1. Recognize the source of my symptoms.
2. Emerge from denial and isolation.
3. Authenticate self and mental illness.
4. Control the disorder as we are able.
5. Heighten our lives.
While learning to REACH, Andrew started dating again. On jod first date with Sariah who had also served a mission in Taiwan, he told her he was the one who went crazy on the island. She replied, "That was you?" She had served in a different mission over a year after his breakdown, but she had heard about the missionary who went crazy. After our date, Sariah talked to her parents who said, "If you decide to love him, we will love him too." They chose to give love for mental illness and Sariah courageously decided to keep dating me. Their marriage started as a choice for love instead of a reaction to fear of mental illness. Making that choice again and again for going-on 30 years now, is how REACH has made for happiness and growing connection in their relationship.
Insights:
- Andy: "the thing you can do to help someone with mental illness or to help yourself, if you're the one, if you recognize mental illness in yourself, the thing you can do is to face your fears and learn to love in your thoughts, in your beliefs and in your actions, and it works, it helps. Give love for mental illness."
- Liz: "I love this whole idea about fear really creates more pain, creates more separation, but that love and acceptance would create, that's what creates health and connection. They stuff that was really beautiful. I'm going to think differently about mental illness because of our time with you, Andy."
- Dave: "I love the reach acronym. Our illness doesn't define us. It is our feelings. All that we're struggling with doesn't define us."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm talk with licensed clinical social worker Amelia Hopkin about the emotional and physical struggles associated with infertility. Amelia shares how fertility issues impact relationships, the role of family support, and the healing power of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) for couples dealing with reproductive health trauma. She also provides guidance on navigating infertility treatments and offers valuable resources for those on this difficult journey.
About Amelia Hopkin:
Amelia Hopkin has spent the last 23 years providing help and building relationships with medical providers, community organizations, researchers, educators and most importantly, families who experience one of the hardest kinds of experiences... Infant or pregnancy loss, infertility, unexpected birth experiences, various degrees and types of postpartum depression, NICU stays as well as sexual or health related trauma. She has been a speaker and trainer at both national and international conferences (ask her about speaking to the UN and her month at the HRC!), a published researcher, is certified in EMDR and trained in ART (the therapy kind, she's a horrible artist and needs to label her stick figures). As one of the only trained EMDR intensive providers in the state of Utah, she helps those who have limited time and significant trauma find deep and meaningful healing. Click on the EMDR tab for more info on that. When not in the office, Amelia may be getting in over her head on a DIY project, reading books, dreaming up a new travel adventure, finding nature, looking for ways to avoid doing laundry or trying out a new restaurant or recipe.
Insights:
- Amelia: "...if you're experiencing fertility struggles, you are not alone, that number is one in six. There are some really fantastic resources."
- Liz: "the thought of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, right with whatever it is that is troubling us..."
- Dave" "I think my takeaway the day really is the no shame, no blaming of yourself through this journey, I'm sure, so easily to turn inward and then to have those suffocating feelings that can feel overwhelming, that affect your marriage and your outlook, your life, your eating, sleeping every this will affect your life
in so many ways. I hope people won't go there or stay there too long. Did you realize this is nothing you did you know anything so not that. Avoid that blame and shame game. Keep those eyes up and looking for resources and help."
Links:
https://www.growing-the-good.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with marriage therapists Boone Christensen and Kaprena Moore to discuss how couples can establish and maintain healthy boundaries in their relationships. They explain what boundaries look like in marriage, why they’re important, and how to effectively communicate them. Boone and Kaprena share real-life examples and provide tips on dealing with common boundary issues, including emotional safety, parenting, and handling conflicts. The episode highlights how boundaries can foster love, respect, and protection, rather than control.
About Boone & Kaprena:
Boone and Kaprena own Steps Family Therapy in Spanish Fork, where they conduct individual, couple, and family therapy. They both performed qualitative research in graduate school on the role of clergy in mental health and relational issues. When not doing therapy or spending time with their two kids, Boone loves camping, fishing, and reading research on therapist development. Kaprena loves planning events, writing music, and yoga. They are both consultants for the mental health company, Mindless.
Insights:
- Boone: "I'd say boundaries are the things you do to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy. They are nothing that you expect anybody else to do anything about."
- Kaprena: "When boundaries are about changing and manipulating your partner, they are poisonous. When they are about protecting yourself, they can convey love."
- Liz: "I think boundaries really are about safety. It's not just my feelings, but my partner's feelings. I just I do think of a cocoon a little bit when I think of a boundary or fenced in area where we're both inside, and it's not about the rupture, it's about making room for both of us."
- Dave: "I think that the boundaries perhaps can change. Is that possible over time? Is more understanding and his development and his relationship changes, still to have protection, but there may not be boundaries now we're okay. We need to adjust this. If I have a child that's living at home, or if there's a an accident or mental health or struggles or things okay, we need to adjust the boundaries here of what's happening to keep that protection in place."
Links:
https://stepsfamilytherapy.blogspot.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@boonechristianson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapy_with_boone_lmft/?hl=en
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Rachel Nielson, host of the podcast Three in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Rachel opens up about her personal journey through motherhood, from the struggles of balancing expectations to finding joy in her role. She shares insights from therapy, practical strategies for decluttering your mental and emotional space, and ways to set healthy boundaries. Rachel also discusses how couples can support one another in parenting and offers actionable steps to bring more joy into motherhood and family life.
About Rachel Nielson:
3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is a podcast hosted by Rachel Nielson, a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting.After a long fight to become a mother through adoption and IVF, Rachel truly believed that she would thrive as a mom from day one. Her transition into motherhood was a little bumpier than she had imagined, and she sought the help of professionals for actionable advice.3 in 30 is for moms who are short on time and brain space. In each 30-minute episode, Rachel and her guests share three actionable takeaways to help you be less overwhelmed and more self-assured in your motherhood. Rachel covers a wide variety of topics– from emotional resilience, to productivity and time management tips, to talking to your kids about racism, disability, mental health, and so much more.Insights:* Rachel: "The key for me has been the realization that I can examine my thoughts and choose thoughts that are more helpful and uplifting and empowering and make me feel like the best version of myself." * Dave: "There are many ways to be a good mom." * Liz: "I love that first step of cleaning out, decluttering the motherhood closet. I'm not a mother, but I certainly have a clutter closet in my mind, the brain dump and listing all the should"
Links:
3in30Podcast
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome renowned marriage experts, Dr. Christian Heim and Dr. Caroline Heim, from Australia. They discuss insights from the largest global study on long-term relationships, revealing the key elements that make marriages last. The conversation highlights the importance of commitment, altruism, and shared values while addressing the challenges of hyper-individualism, social isolation, and mental health struggles. Whether you're single, married, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers invaluable tools and perspectives to strengthen your relationship.
marraigeadvice #resilience #marraigeresilience #makingmarriagework
About:
Christian Heim FRANZCP, PhD is a psychiatrist, a Clinical Director in Mental Health Services, Senior Lecturer in the School of Medicine at the University of Queensland and a Churchill Fellow. Christian gives keynotes internationally on preventative mental health. In private psychiatry, he subspecializes in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. Christian publishes books and journal articles in the area of preventative mental health. His latest book was co-authored with Caroline Heim: Resilient Relationships: techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation and a mental health crisis. (Routledge, 2023).
Caroline Heim is an Associate Professor at Queensland University of Technology. She has published two books in theatre studies and is a global authority on the psychology of relationships in the theatre. Caroline gives keynotes internationally and her numerous articles cover various topics from audiences to the mental health of university students. Specialising in empirical research, she has interviewed over 300 people internationally. Before entering academia, Caroline studied theatre and worked in New York winning a Drama League Award.
Insights:
- Christian: "it doesn't matter how you do it. There are different ways to do things however your relationship works, is the way that your relationship works. Don't feel that you've got to find a formula, but the key to me is that your relationship is your greatest asset, and that means that it'll take some nurturing, it'll take some investment, it'll take time, energy and effort, but gosh, it's worthwhile."
- Caroline: "'I'd say probably, is altruism, our second finding. Because, as I said, it's not much in the literature. And these couples that put the others needs before there's I could see that they had, again, this strong connection. And. So as we said, it's hard to do that in a in a society that says that everything's got to be about me, and it's about my needs, and if I'm not getting what I want from this relationship, then I'm out of here. But as one, as many of the couples actually said it's much easier to walk away and then to stay and fight for your marriage, you and me against the world, basically."
- Dave: "At so many levels, I love this idea of, I'll call it search inward, turn outward. That's how I like to think of this searching or what are my values and what are our values, and then turning outward with that altruism and how, what can I do for my spouse or my partner today to make their day better? It's this outward mindset, really, of thinking about the we rather than the me. I haven't heard that term hyper individualism, but man, I think that's, that's spot on. I feel like that's like the number one killer in relationships today."
- Liz: "You know what I'm really happy to hear Caroline and Christian say is that has benefited their marriage, because this five year study, I doubt there was a lot of income they were getting from this study. There was a lot of giving and listening and noting, and so I'm so pleased that there was this flip effect of blessing your own marriage. Really happy to hear that for you and another takeaway, I mean, one of my favorite events with the recent Olympic Olympics was synchronized diving, and I never thought about it to go for the gold. That the more difficult, the more points, the more opportunity for gold. I thought that was just brilliant."
Links:
Resilient Relationships
Dr. Christian Heim
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz
Hale chat with Maggie Reyes, a master certified life coach and marriage mentor. Maggie shares five powerful questions that women can use to improve their marriages, without needing their partner to change. These questions help women shift their mindset, engage their emotional intelligence, and create positive change in their relationships. Maggie emphasizes the importance of understanding our emotions, managing expectations, and grieving unmet hopes while building strong, lasting connections. Learn how asking the right questions can transform your marriage and empower you as a partner.
About Maggie:
Maggie Reyes is a Master Certified Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create their best marriages, without waiting for their partners to change or adding more work to their lives.
She is the creator of The Marriage MBA Program, a 6 month mentorship in creating a successful marriage using principles from positive psychology, cognitive science and simple coaching tools that you can learn today and apply tomorrow.
Maggie is the author of the best selling Questions for Couples Journal which has over 3,000 4 star ratings on Amazon. And she is the host of the The Marriage Life Coach Podcast which is consistently ranked among the top 2 percent podcasts out of over 2 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes. When she isn’t teaching or coaching she loves obsessing over Formula 1 Racing, Bridgerton, reading fan fiction, sexy romance novels and watching superhero movies and Mexican Rom Coms with her hubby.
Insights:
- Maggie: "That you have choices, that you can think about what you want in your relationship and then take positive forward action towards that. I think that's the core of everything that I teach. And if someone is listening to us today and feeling frustrated or feeling sad, if I could just be that voice in your ear that says you have choices."
- Dave: "I'm going to actually combine both of your takeaways. I love that generosity Liz and the choices Maggie. I often call this, and it's been re iterated today. I think a challenge of lifetime. There are probably many challenges of lifetime. One of the those who stuck my mind lately, and it relates to what we're talking about today, is feeling disappointed, feeling feeling stressed, feeling worried, feeling irritated, even feeling angry, all those right, natural emotions we're going to feel those in our relationships. I believe this is difficult. That's why it's the challenge of a lifetime to feel all of that and still be kind, and still be generous."
- Liz: "That generosity is the highest form of love, being generous. And like you said, sometimes it doesn't, life doesn't call for that, right? But I think, especially in love and in marriage, generosity is often, I think, the call of the day. So I love that."
Links:
https://maggiereyes.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome betrayal trauma expert Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to discuss the emotional complexities and recovery strategies for betrayal trauma. The conversation dives into the impact of betrayal, particularly the intense anger experienced by the betrayed partner, and how to navigate the healing process. Dr. Hollenbeck outlines therapeutic techniques, including her self-regulation model, and discusses why many partners remain in relationships post-betrayal. This episode is filled with practical advice, research-backed insights, and hope for those struggling to overcome the devastating effects of betrayal in relationships.
About:
Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Betrayal Trauma Specialist and helps couples heal the wounds of
betrayal trauma. Her article recently published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
provides recommendations for clinicians to help betrayed partners manage the complexity of
betrayal trauma anger. Her book entitled, "Betrayal Trauma Anger: You are not crazy, you are
angry, and you should be" is coming soon.
Crystal is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Florida State Qualified Supervisor for those seeking a license in Mental Health Counseling or Marriage and Family Therapy. In addition, she is also a Certified Professional Life Coach. Being a Therapist and a Life Coach gives her the unique ability to help clients heal from the past and live their best life today. Her approach to counseling and coaching is non-judgmental, caring, and solution focused. She believes counseling and coaching are an essential part of a person’s ability to live the life they desire and she strives to provide a counseling setting where you can feel safe to work through the difficulty you are facing with hope. Dedicating her life to helping others as a therapist and
coach is a result of post traumatic growth from her own personal life experiences.
Insights:
- Crystal - "Betrayal is a devastating injustice. And although you're going to feel like you're crazy, you're not crazy, you're angry and you should be."
- Dave - "I think the take home for me, at least one of the many, is that avoiding that self-blame, it's that all of a sudden that inward right and anger, anger turns this inward, and then it's some of this, you know, maybe outward at first, but then it's this inward of what? What did I do? Am I not skinny enough? Why? Why did they do kind of searching for the why and then blaming themselves for this? I love that message."
- Liz - "I've never heard the great advice around self-harm regarding using an ice cube, rubber band, rubber band, I've heard, but Ice Cube I haven't. I really love both of those, actually. So, thank you for that. Because as I get that, I get that you're just trying to use access to physical pain to release the emotional pain. Makes perfect sense, actually, but harmful. We're just continuing the on the harm, so we have to stop, and I really appreciate you bringing that to our attention."
Links:
https://crystalhollenbeck.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
In this episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Debi Gilmore, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to discuss Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Dr. Gilmore shares insights into how EFT helps couples strengthen their emotional bonds, navigate pain, and foster connection. She also offers practical tips couples can use to improve their relationships, including the “Four Mantras of Love” and the “ARE” model (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged). This episode is packed with strategies to help couples rediscover connection and navigate challenges in their relationships.
About Dr. Debi Gilmore:
Dr. Debi Gilmore is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, public speaker, professional educator, author, and co-owner of The EFT Counseling and Education Center, a large mental health clinic specializing in couples therapy serving Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, and Arizona. Debi trains therapists seeking licensure or certification as an Emotionally Focused Therapist. She is co-founder and developer of the Building A Lasting Connection™ and Lasting Connection System™ mats. The Building A Lasting Connection™ (BLC) relationship program is based on her doctoral dissertation focused on premarital education. The Lasting Connection System™ mats and BLC program are being used by therapists and workshop facilitators across the world.
Insights:
- Debi: "The takeaway is I need to be better. I need to listen more intently, I need to love more abundantly, and I need to forgive more swiftly. So I'm going to say what I'm taking away is I will apply those things to myself."
- Dave: "I love acronyms. It's the R, the A, R, E, is it? Make sure I got to write the accessible, responsive and engaged."
- Liz: "It's really a combination of what the two of you have both talked about, I love that. What's the glory in your story? Dave, that's so beautiful. And for Debbie to suggest, when she first sits down with a couple, is to say, tell me about the first time you saw her. Tell me about the first time you saw him. For any of us to really go back in time, whether we've been married a year, 10 years, 30 years, 50 years, to remember those earlier times. They're precious, right? And they're powerful at the same time."
Debi Gilmore’s Resources:www.drdebigilmore.com
www.eftcounseling.org
Instagram: thttps://www.instagram.com/the_love.therapist/?hl=en
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/degilmo/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdebigilmore/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with Dr. Dean Busby, a seasoned professor from Brigham Young University, to delve into the truths and myths surrounding human sexuality. The discussion covers a wide range of topics, from gender differences and the impact of religiosity on sexual experiences to the challenges couples face across different life stages, including pregnancy and menopause. Dr. Busby offers expert advice on improving sexual relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in fostering a strong, intimate connection.
About:
Dean M. Busby, Ph.D. is a professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. He received his Ph.D. in Family Therapy from Brigham Young University. Following his schooling he taught at Syracuse University and Texas Tech University, where he was the department chair, before returning to Brigham Young University. He is a published author of books, book chapters, and research articles in the area of marriage relationships, sexuality, assessment of couples, and relationship trauma. His research has garnered university and national awards and been funded by federal and state grants. Dr. Busby has taught at the university level for more than thirty years, primarily in the area of dating and marriage relationships, sexuality, and research methods. His courses are popular and well-received. Dr. Busby has been married for 40 years and he and his wife Colleen are the parents of three sons and the grandparents of 10 grandchildren.
Insights:
- Dean - “Start talking about sexuality; in your families and in your relationships. There isn’t a semester that goes by where I don’t cry with a student about the damage that has been done to their lives because a parent has felt like, “we can’t talk about that because that means they might experiment with it.” So they have had very difficult and unnecessary experiences just because of basic levels of ignorance. You have to stat talking to your kids. Fathers in-particular have to start doing a better job. They are the worst in the whole family as to who talks the least about sexuality -and they need to be in the middle of this conversation; for so many reasons that we know from research. Start talking with your children. Help them to feel comfortable that you are a trusted place to come and have a conversation about these bodies that they have and what’s going on with them."
- Liz - "“The sexual debut. How important that is for the man and the woman. What this responsibility is for us as parents – to talk to our young people about the expectations of that. Ladies first, we really base our sexual experience on the woman and that is such a responsibility for men; for their patience and their turning towards a woman. And, a woman also has a responsibility to ready herself for love making. So we both have responsibilities in this wonderful cycle of life and sexuality.”
- Dave - "“There is hope in any relationship if people – create a safe space and open up and communicate regardless of time passed.”
Dean’s Key To A Stronger Marriage Connection:
“You can’t change another person, you can only invite them to be in a relationship with the better you.” If you want to move your relationship, move yourself, then your partner because they love you, they will move with you. You can’t do it by pushing them in a particular direction, it just doesn’t work. "
Links:
google scholar; https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=YAThg_4AAAAJ&hl=en Chelom Leavitt; https://chelomleavitt.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Ray Christner discuss the pivotal role fathers play in their daughters' lives. They explore how dads can empower their daughters, the significance of role models, and the importance of emotional intelligence. Dr. Christner shares practical examples and personal experiences, emphasizing the impact of everyday choices and the modeling of respectful behavior.
parenting #girldad #fatherdaughter
About Ray
Dr. Christner received a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the California University of Pennsylvania (now Pennsylvania Western University, California), where he continued to complete a Master’s degree and certification in School Psychology. He worked as a school psychologist for several years before returning to school for further education. He earned his Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine (PCOM; now The PCOM School of Professional and Applied Psychology).
Insights:
- Ray: Being a father is probably the most important job I've ever had, and maybe many ever will have. So just remembering our small everyday choices really do pave the way to our daughters having a refined definition of what their future looks like. So focus on those little, those little everyday choices.
- Liz: Creating that safety for when things don't go well. And being there before, during and after. For a child for a daughter. It's just that's just really beautiful. I think it's so crucial.
Links:
https://drraychristner.com
https://psychedtopractice.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale discuss the intersection of positive psychology and Gottman research on marriage with Dr. Vagdevi Meunier. Dr. Meunier, a licensed psychologist and clinical assistant professor, shares insights on how couples can increase positivity in their relationships, explains the PERMA model from positive psychology, and discusses why 85% of couples report not having fun in their marriage anymore. Learn practical tips for fostering positivity, engagement, and connection in your relationship, and discover the importance of buffering your relationship from external stress.
marriageadvice #marriageandfamilytherapist #marriage #marriagecounselling
About:
Dr. Vagdevi Meunier (“Dr. V”) is a licensed clinical psychologist & Certified Master Gottman Therapist with over 30 years of experience in counseling, education & clinical consultation. Since 2000, she has held a Clinical Assistant Professorship at The University of Texas in Austin & previously taught as a professor at St. Edwards University for over 10 years. Dr. Meunier specializes in relationship therapy, specifically with couples & families. She has an extensive history & passion for multicultural psychology, especially eastern influences on psychological practice & cross-cultural relationship research.
As a Master Gottman Couples therapist & Professional Trainer for The Gottman Institute since 2006, Dr. Vagdevi Meunier leads “The Art and Science of Love” couples workshops locally in Austin, throughout the United States, as well as, Internationally. Dr. V has presented professionally in the US, Canada & India & incorporates mindfulness, neurobiology & positive psychology into her psychoeducational lectures. Dr. V published a chapter on Positive Couple Relationships from evidence based research around the world and has written several articles on the Gottman method of couples therapy.
Dr. Vagdevi Meunier is the founder & Executive Director of The Center for Relationships. She is the Advisor to all TCFR doctoral level trainees & therapist team members. Her mission behind TCFR is to promote and provide a community counseling, training & outreach center that specializes in helping relationships to flourish based on leading best practices and relationship science. The Counseling services & educational programs at TCFR include couples intensives, retreats, groups & community forums to support healthy relationships, conflict management & trust recovery.
Insights:
- Vagdevi: "It doesn't take a lot of time to make a difference, to increase positivity in your relationship, whether you're separated from your partner or in the same room with them. You can harness technology or you can just practice that engagement and positive emotions when you're face to face. And a little bit goes a long way. And our motto in Gottman work is "small things often."
- Dave: Couples can manage external stress effectively by working together as a team, preventing it from affecting their relationship. Despite coming home stressed, it's crucial not to take it out on each other. Although challenging, it's possible to remain kind even when frustrated or angry, highlighting the importance of choosing kindness in maintaining a strong relationship.
- Liz: I love the statement, "Darling, I'm hurting. Will you help me?" That was quite beautiful instead of the attack. It's just like, and having really that good feeling between us. Right? Like, I know you love me and I love you. Trust. That's trust, I believe.
Vagdevi Links:
https://www.findmycenter.org/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today Dr. Liz Hale and Dr. Dave Schramm sit down with Jessica Bishop, creator of Budget Savvy Bride. Jessica shares her knowledge on planning a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank. With practical tips on everything from using silk flowers to DIY projects, Jessica explains how couples can save money while still having a memorable day. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on the marriage itself rather than just the wedding day. Listeners will gain valuable insights on budgeting, planning, and prioritizing for their special day.
About:
Jessica Bishop is the founder of TheBudgetSavvyBride.com, the #1 online resource to help couples all across the world plan a beautiful wedding on a budget they can actually afford. Jessica is a wedding industry veteran and wedding budget expert. Jessica has seen weddings from nearly every angle throughout her career– from her early days working at a wedding cake bakery at the age of 15 to doing catering service, wedding photography, invitation designing, and day-of coordination… to being a bride herself! She’s infused her 360-degree wedding experiences from the last 25 years to build a comprehensive wedding planning resource to help couples through the planning process with less expense and less stress! In 2018, Jessica squeezed all her best tips, advice, and checklists into her book, The Budget- Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer, which has been a #1 Best Seller on Amazon many times over! Over 225,000 copies have been sold to date.
Insights:
- Jessica: Wedding planning serves as a valuable testing ground for marriage, teaching lessons in decision-making, prioritizing, compromising, and communication, ultimately helping to build a strong relationship foundation. Enjoy the process and be intentional in your efforts.
- Dave: To reduce stress and avoid misunderstandings, couples should openly share their expectations and visions for their wedding from the start. Understanding each other's perspectives and maintaining constant communication about decisions and finances will help manage differences and foster compromise throughout the planning process.
- Liz: Dr. Bill Doherty suggests that the process of wedding planning marks the beginning of the marriage itself, serving as a significant test for the couple. Each wedding, like a marriage, is unique, reflecting the personalities and histories of the couple. It’s important to remember that minimizing time, money, and stress are key factors in making the experience memorable.
Jessica Bishop Links:
https://thebudgetsavvybride.com/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bouquet-toss-a-wedding-planning-podcast/id1539773975
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/budgetsavvybride/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=%40thebudgetsavvybride
The Budget Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Starting July 1, we will be releasing bonus content from previously unreleased discussions from select season two episodes.
go to: https://www.youtube.com/@utahmarriagecommission
In this episode, the Stronger Marriage Connection team—Dr. Dave Schramm, Dr. Liz Hale, Sarah Gowans, and Rex Polanis—wrap up Season 2 with a mailbag episode. They address various audience questions about managing transitions to parenthood, dealing with mental health issues, navigating infertility, and handling physical illness in relationships. The team provides insightful advice and personal stories, emphasizing the importance of communication, support, and mutual understanding. Tune in for valuable tips and heartfelt discussions to strengthen your marriage and relationships.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Rex:
https://www.drawn-in-media.com
Today Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz welcome Alec Atkinson, founder and CEO of Harvest React, to discuss side hustles for married couples. Alec shares insights on starting and managing side hustles, the importance of financial freedom, and the impact on relationships. He provides valuable advice on avoiding scams and ensuring both partners are on the same page. The discussion also highlights success stories and the potential benefits of e-commerce side hustles.
About Alec Atkinson:
Alec Atkinson is the founder and CEO of HarvestReact, a social media marketing and e-
commerce company he founded in June 2021. HarvestReact helps people thrive in e-
commerce, having hundreds of clients in its flagship program. Before his entrepreneurial
journey, Alec served as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in
Chicago, Illinois, from 2019 to 2021. Alec graduated from BYU in Business Strategy this past
December. Alec also helps oversee the deployment of capital for two niche hedge funds and a family office in the private banking world.
Insights:
- Alec: You can feel encouraged to pursue a side hustle, as it can be a great opportunity. Be careful and vigilant, seek best practices, and educate yourself thoroughly. Once you're ready, dive in and enjoy the journey. It might be challenging, but it will be either rewarding or a valuable learning experience. Find the benefit and joy in everything you do.
- Dave: You might find the idea of side hustles for couples intriguing, especially if you enjoy thinking about new ideas and taking them to the next level. While the creative process can be exciting, it's important to remember that it's not for everyone. People have different personalities and risk tolerances, and side hustles can sometimes cause stress and strain relationships. It's crucial to be on the same page with your partner, do your homework, and work as a team to ensure a successful and enjoyable experience.
- Liz: There are ways to pursue a side hustle and to do it fairly safely, where you can really minimize some of the risk. If it is in someone's heart and mind to really find ways to access extra money and finances because you have a dream for your family, I'm all about it and it sounds like Harvest React would really be something to look into.
Alec Atkinson Links:
https://harvestreact.com/
Email: alec@harvestreact.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today, we are joined by, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and psychotherapist Sean Grover to discusses the challenges of maintaining a couple-centered marriage amidst the demands of parenting. Grover, an expert with over 25 years of experience, shares insights from his books and provides practical tips for preventing parent burnout. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-care, creativity, and effective communication in strengthening marital bonds and fostering a happier family life.
About Sean:
Sean Grover is a psychotherapist and best-selling author with over 25 years of experience.
Sean has appeared on the Today Show and over 200 podcasts and radio shows, and leads one
of the largest group therapy practices in the United States.
Insights:
- Sean:Don't give up. It's never too late to start again. You can retrain your brain, even after years of chronic illness. I was reading about people who overcame 22 years of illness by retraining their minds. I have a young patient with an incurable intestinal disease who has been symptom and medication-free for two years now. Remember, people are more adaptable than we think. You can challenge and change behaviors and rewire your brain. So, don't give up.
- Liz: Your happiness as a panent is so important to your child. It's everything. When you, as a parent, genuinely enjoy parenting your child, it sends positive messages that you might not even realize. Even if you're a newlywed or haven't had children yet, it's never too early to focus on what kind of parent you want to be. Think about what you want to embrace and how you want to show up in the world of parenting.
Sean's Links:
https://www.seangrover.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale sit down with licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kyle Barth. They discuss the foundation of healthy relationships, focusing on trust, boundaries, and overcoming obstacles. Kyle Barth shares his professional journey and personal insights into creating safe, connected, and value-based relationships. Listeners will gain valuable tools and perspectives for improving their relationships and understanding the complexities of trauma and trust.
marriage #buildingtrust #relationshipgoals #couplestherapyAbout Kyle Barth:
I'm not your typical relationship therapist. Yes, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist with over a decade of experience, but here's the twist: I've been through divorce myself. Unexpected, right? Life has a funny way of steering us in unexpected directions. However, this experience further ignited my passion to help others build safe, secure, and connected relationships.
My mission is to empower individuals to cultivate confidence and foster healthy,
empowering, and connected relationships. By incorporating trauma-informed and
evidenced based therapy practices, I create a safe haven for healing, honesty, and
growth. I'll walk alongside you as you rewrite the script of your story. But beyond my role as a therapist, my proudest title is "dad." Nothing brings me more joy than spending quality time with my kids. When I'm not immersed in the world of therapy, I indulge my love for the great outdoors, cheer on the Utah Jazz, and love reading. Let's embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, unlocking your potential for meaningful connections and personal growth. You matter!
Insights:
- Kyle: You're capable of having the relationship of your dreams, no matter your current situation or past experiences. Whether you're 60 years old and have never been married, have never had a long-term relationship, or have been divorced three times, you can still achieve that dream relationship. It may not look like what you envisioned earlier in life or even right now, but it can become a reality for you. It might require letting go of past relationships or changing how you've been doing things, but you're capable of making it happen.
- Dave: One thing that might stand out about ways of thinking is the concept of the marriage of your dreams. Initially, you might think of a fairy tale, like a Disney ending with music, dancing, and everyone focusing on the couple. However, that's not reality. The marriage of your dreams can mean feeling safe, happy, and connected, with your partner as your best friend, by your side through all the ups and downs. That's what many truly want and long for.
- Liz: We are always changing, and I think that's really great. To try something new, we often talk about marriage 2.0, but I've even had a couple say this is marriage 10.0 because of constant change. We need to be willing to let go of old patterns. Just as our internal bodies and organs are changing, we are part of that process, and we need to embrace it intentionally in our marriages.
Kyle Barth Links:
https://impactfulcounseling.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
In today’s episode of Stronger Marriage Connection, hosts Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome Dr. James Cordova to discuss the concept of relationship checkups. Just like regular doctor or dental checkups, Dr. Cordova advocates for regular relationship checkups to prevent relationship deterioration and enhance mental and physical health. They explore the importance of proactive relationship health care and the development of Arammu, The Relationship Checkup Inc., aimed at improving relationship health in both military and civilian populations.
About Dr. James Cordova:
Dr. James Cordova is Department Chair and Professor of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts. Dr. Cordova is a leading figure in the field of Couples Research and Therapy. He is the developer of The Relationship Checkup, a preventative relationship healthcare intervention designed to prevent relationship deterioration through the relationship health equivalent of the annual physical health checkup.
Dr. Cordova was co-PI, with retired Lt. Colonel Jeffrey Cigrang, and their Air Force team, on a recently completed $1.3M DoD-funded grant to conduct a full-scale randomized control trial of the Relationship Checkup in the Air Force’s integrated behavioral healthcare settings. The study demonstrated that the Checkup is easily adapted to primary care settings in the Air Force and has a significant positive effect on the relationship health and depression of Airmen and their spouses.
Dr. Cordova is the founder and President of Arammu: The Relationship Checkup, Inc., a university-based startup company created to disseminate the Checkup throughout both military and civilian populations and improve the overall relationship health of the country as a whole. Arammu Inc. currently partners with the Office of the Secretary of Defense to train over one thousand Military and Family Life Counselors serving all branches of the military.
Insights:
- Dr. Cordova: We need to shift our perspective on relationships to view them as a form of health care that requires regular checkups. Just like physical health, regular preventative relationship checkups are crucial for maintaining long-term relationship health.
- Dave: Investing in relationships through regular checkups is one of the most important investments one can make. It’s comparable to maintaining physical health through good nutrition, exercise, and regular doctor visits. Without intentional and planned efforts, relationships can naturally drift apart, so there is a necessity of consistent investment in maintaining strong relationships.
- Liz: Love the porcupine analogy in marriage, it’s important to recognizing that both partners can unintentionally cause pain. Focus on addressing the impact of our actions rather than the intent, and remember the need to respond with care and healing when hurt occurs, as both partners are vulnerable to causing and feeling pain.
Dr. James Cordova’s Resources:
https://arammu.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com
Today In this important episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast,
Dr. Lauren Barnes shares her extensive knowledge about eating disorders and body image,
exploring their impact on individuals and relationships. Offering hope and healing, Dr. Barnes
discusses the prevalence, recovery, and the critical importance of addressing these issues
within marriages. Listeners will learn from an expert in the field about the signs, effects, and
treatment options for eating disorders, making this a valuable resource for those seeking to
understand or cope with these conditions.
About Lauren Barnes:
Dr. Lauren A. Barnes, LMFT is an Associate Clinical Professor in the School of Family
Life and the Clinical Director for BYU’s Marriage & Family Therapy graduate program.
Prior to her faculty appointment at BYU in 2013, she worked as a therapist at Center for
Change treating girls and women struggling with eating disorders within a residential
treatment setting. She maintains a small private practice where she primarily works with
those struggling with body image, eating disorders, and life challenges within their
families. Dr. Barnes grew up in a multicultural multigenerational home with her native
Cuban grandparents, mom, dad, and siblings in the Pacific Northwest. During her free
time, Lauren loves baking (especially cakes and cookies) walking or hiking, playing
piano, and loves socializing with good friends and family. One of her current passions is
speaking at women’s body image retreats because it combines her love of connecting
with people, learning, and engaging in fun activities. She is married to Aaron and they
have a son and daughter
Insights:
- Lauren: Eating disorders are widespread, affecting up to 9% of the population. Eating disorders are complex and they are not solely about food consumption or exercise habits. Instead, they require well-researched, specialized care and attention. Anyone struggling with an eating disorder is encouraged to seek help, as numerous resources and support options are available.
- Dave: There is significant and prolonged stress that both partners in a relationship can experience when dealing with an eating disorder. It is important to acknowledging the struggle and the impact it can have on a relationship. It is important to seek help, learn more about eating disorders, and communicate concerns to a partner in a caring and supportive manner.
- Liz: The thought of function over feature is quite beautiful. Even in just talking about it to our kids, the focus is on your body is so strong, we can go run now let's go run this hill. Isn't that wonderful? Our bodies can do this. And we're breathing and we don't even know it and our whole, all these organs are working in unison, and without us having to direct them. The body is phenomenal.
Links:
Instagram: @drlaurenabarneslmft
Email: Lauren_Barnes@byu.edu
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In Episode 85 of "Stronger Marriage Connection," Dr. Dave Schramm talks with Dr. Liz about his extensive experience and the wealth of resources available for enhancing family and marital relationships. He shares insights on various tools and methods, such as positive psychology and educational resources, aimed at helping individuals improve their happiness and relational dynamics. This episode serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to foster better relationships and personal growth.
Insights:
- Mallory: The daily structure of the journal, and the small daily prompts encourage personal growth and mood enhancement. This principle of making small, consistent efforts, such as exercising or eating well, extends beyond journaling to improve one's overall quality of life and maintain positivity.
- Dave: Small, frequent actions are important in improving one's life. There is an abundance of virtual resources available today for support in various aspects of life, such as parenting and marriage. As an extension specialist, Dave’s role involves curating and recommending the best research-based resources to the public, ensuring that people have access to high-quality support materials.
- Liz: The journal is a great resource for college students. We might not think the drip, drip, drip is enough, but just a little bit, consistently. It goes a very long way.
Episode Links:
https://impactsuite.com/
https://www.joinclimb.com/
https://www.joinraise.com/the-raise-app
https://www.malouffoundation.org/
https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/
https://extension.usu.edu/strongermarriage/
https://www.youtube.com/@drdaveschramm
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this episode of the "Stronger Marriage Connection" podcast, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale are joined by certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman. They delve into common sexual issues faced by couples, focusing on sexual desire discrepancies and strategies for maintaining a strong marital connection. Jessa provides invaluable insights into reactive and proactive desires, the sexual avoidance cycle, and the impacts of pressure and expectations on sexual intimacy.
About Jessa Zimmerman:
Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She
works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy. In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy. She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 4 pillar experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life, guiding them to become easily intimate.
Zimmerman received her Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and
Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors,
and Therapists (AASECT). She has done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on
Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch. She is the author of Sex Without Stress; A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance & Pressure. She is the host of the Better Sex Podcast and has appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. She is the creator of the Intimacy With Ease Method and founder of The Desire Spa, an online course for women with little to no libido. She is a regularly featured expert in the media, including Refinery29, Marriage.com, Business Insider, and Mind Body Green. She lives in Seattle with her partner.
Insights:
- Jessa: One cannot fail in sex if they shift their mindset to view it simply as a source of pleasure and connection, without attaching to specific outcomes. By embracing this approach, sexual experiences can become easy and enjoyable, even if they differ from previous expectations or desires. The key lies in accepting and adapting to these differences, which opens limitless possibilities for enjoyment and satisfaction.
- Dave: Moods for sexual activity evolve over time, there is a contrast between the constant readiness (proactive mood) in early stages of relationships with the need to actively engage or transition into feeling ready (reactive mood) as time progresses. If couples only engaged in sex when both partners were spontaneously in the mood, they might seldom have sex. Love the concepts of reactive and proactive desire, and engaging physically can lead to a physiological response where the body releases dopamine and serotonin, aligning physical readiness with emotional desire.
- Liz: Sex is like going to a playground, we don't know how long we're going to stay. We're not sure what we're going to enjoy once we get there. But we are going to enjoy it. It's not about the outcome or the goal.
Jessa Zimmerman Links:
https://intimacywithease.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today hosts Liz Hale and Dave Schramm talk with Arlene Pellicane, an author and speaker specializing in marriage and parenting. As the national spokesperson for National Marriage Week, Arlene shares insightful tips for nurturing a strong marital connection. The discussion emphasizes daily connections, weekly date nights, and the significance of prioritizing marriage in today's world.
About Arlene Pellicane
Arlene Pellicane is the National Spokesperson for National Marriage Week. She's a top
marriage and parenting author and speaker, and has appeared on several media outlets
like the Today Show, Wall Street Journal, Focus on the Family, Fox & Friends, TLC’s
Home Made Simple, FamilyLife Today, and The 700 Club. She’s also the host of the
Happy Home podcast and the author of several books including 31 Days to a Happy
Husband, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happier Wife. She is married to James, her
husband of more than 25 years, and they have three children - Ethan, Noelle and Lucy.
Insights:
- Arlene: the importance of having a service-oriented attitude in marriage, one that
asks, "What can I do for you?" rather than "What can you do for me?" By focusing on small acts of kindness, like bringing a glass of water or leaving a loving note, you can demonstrate love and commitment to your spouse. This approach leads to an active and controllable part in the relationship, fostering appreciation and reciprocation from your partner. Arlene underscores the need to consistently prioritize your spouse's needs and to take the initiative in showing care and service. She expresses hope that listeners will recognize the value in their marriages, take active steps to cherish them, and thereby inspire future generations to value the institution of marriage - Dave appreciates Arlene's insights on maintaining an outward mindset and the importance of being intentional in marriage. He reflects on his parents' impressive 58-year marriage, recognizing it as a model for what he strives to achieve in his own family life. With his spouse and their four children, they make a concerted effort to show the importance of their marriage. They prioritize their relationship, with regular date nights, emphasizing to their children that their partnership is a priority. Dave acknowledges the need for planning and intentionality to prevent drifting apart in marriage, valuing daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly connections.
- Liz appreciates the concept that individuals can often get caught up in a mindset of expecting more from their partners without recognizing their own contributions. In her marriage therapy sessions, she frequently observes that when a person perceives they're not receiving enough from their partner, it's typically reflective of not giving enough themselves. This realization is a good foundation for addressing marital issues. Liz also highlights the decline in marriage rates from previous generations to millennials, and says that aunts, uncles, and parents bear a significant responsibility to promote the value of marriage. She stresses that it is crucial for them to model strong marriages themselves, to reinforce the positive message about marriage.
Arlene Pellicane Links:
https://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/
https://www.facebook.com/nationalmarriageweek
https://twitter.com/ArlenePellicane
https://www.instagram.com/nationalmarriageweekusa
https://arlenepellicane.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dave Schramm and Liz Hale explore the profound insights of doctors John and Julie Gottman's latest book, "The Seven Day Love Prescription". They delve into practical advice taken from extensive research on thousands of couples, focusing on strengthening relationships through simple actions and deeper understanding. They discuss the significance of turning towards your partner, the power of touch, the importance of asking open-ended questions, and the brain's tendency to focus on negativity. This episode provides valuable tips for fostering a deeper connection and revitalizing your marriage by incorporating daily habits that enhance love and affection.
Insights:
- Dave: Slowing down and understanding your partner’s world takes humility. I love the word compassion, as we've talked about humility. And let me add gratitude; expressions of appreciation for the little things of being thoughtful. Kindness and gratitude is two sides of the same coin. When someone is kind, hopefully the other person is grateful. And they recognize that and understand each other's worlds. It’s hard to settle on one thing, but kindness could change a marriage. Slow down and be a little more kind, little more gentle, a little more thoughtful.
- Liz: You know, what I have loved is how we've talked about how healthy "we" consists of healthy "me" and I'm really the only person in the relationship that can really guarantee how I show up right? I am only in control of me. So I think when I show up paramount with kindness, I think that is the key.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this eye-opening episode, hosts Dave Schramm and Liz Hale talk with Dr. Jason Carroll to debunk the soulmate myth. They explore the impact of soulmate thinking on relationships and discuss how lasting connections are forged through intentional effort and growth. Drawing on the report "The Soulmate Trap," the conversation highlights the importance of virtues, responsible behaviors, and shared life goals over predestined destiny beliefs.
About Jason Carroll
Jason S. Carroll is an internationally recognized expert on flourishing marriages and readiness
for marriage among young adults. He currently serves as the Director of the Family Initiative at
the Wheatley Institute at Brigham Young University, and he is also a Senior Fellow of the
Institute for Family Studies. He has also been a faculty member in BYU’s School of Family for the last 23 years. In 2014, Dr. Carroll received the Berscheid-Hatfield Award for Distinguished Mid-Career Achievement, a biennial award given for distinguished scientific achievement by the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR). This award was given to him
primarily to acknowledge his significant theoretical contributions to the field of marriage
studies. Dr. Carroll is best known professionally for his development of the “Developmental
Model of Marital Competence,” the widely used “Marital Horizon Theory” of young adult
readiness for marriage, and “Sexual Restraint Theory” which has been used to demonstrate the
benefits to couples who wait until they are married to begin their sexual relationship. Most
recently, Dr. Carroll has received recognition for his new “STRIVE-4 Model of Virtue” that
provides a comprehensive model to organize and guide a mature science of virtue.
Insights
- Jason, "We need to actively mentor the younger generation within our spheres of influence, like in family and in work spaces. Think about how we can collectively restore the confidence and the sense of agency and choice. By sharing the realities of a genuine relationship—its challenges and its rewards—we can help restore the younger generation's confidence in and aspiration for enduring, loving marriage."
- Dave, "Mature love in healthy relationships is characterized by outward focus and contribution, whereas immature love fixates inwardly on personal needs and disappointments. With mature love and immature love, there is always a choice."
- Liz, "The focus is not so much on happiness, but on meaningfulness. All parts of our relationships, the highs and the lows, that’s why we're here. That's what gives us meaning. And I love the idea of the growth belief versus the destiny belief."
Jason's Links
https://wheatley.byu.edu/
Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness by Blaine J. Fowers
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
In this insightful episode of "Stronger Marriage Connection," hosts Liz Hale and Dave Schramm engage in a powerful discussion with Dr. Carly LeBaron about the complexities of and navigational strategies for couples facing faith crises and faith transitions in their marriage. Dr. LeBaron, an active marriage and family therapist, sheds light on the emotional and relational dynamics of mixed-faith marriages, and faith transitions in marriage, offering valuable advice for couples to maintain harmony and understanding despite differing faith perspectives.
About Carly LeBaron:
Dr. Carly LeBaron has a MS and PhD degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a practicing therapist in Logan, Utah. She owns New Beginnings Therapy, a group private practice in Logan, where she specializes in women's mental, emotional, and relational health, faith crisis/faith transition, perfectionism and people-pleasing, eating disorders and body image, couples therapy, and more. She has authored two self-help books, "Shattering the Porcelain: Overcoming Perfectionism and People- Pleasing and Becoming the Real You," and "Some Body to Love: 12 Weeks to a Better Body Image" and offers online courses in mental health through therapyinanutshell.com. In her spare time, she loves to write, read, garden, create, camp, and spend time with friends and family. She is married to her best friend, has three amazing sons, and a Shih Tzu named Bandit who is in training to become a therapy animal.
Insights:
- Carly: "Keep in mind that you're suffering in your own way, and your partner’s suffering may be in a different way. So, if you’re able to kind of create a space where it's okay for both of you to be hurting at the same time. It opens up a lot of conversations instead of shutting things down with defensiveness."
- Dave: "Even if we have differences, we can still be kind. We can still choose to be kind to each other It's challenging but, be respectful of each other and even negotiate when you're negotiating with kids and practices and things. Kindness, kindness. Above all, through this, through the challenges you can still choose to be kind."
- Liz: "I love that whole idea that validation doesn't necessarily mean agreement. It really just means your perspective matters to me, which really means you matter to me."
Dr. Carly LeBaron Links:
https://www.newbeginningstherapy.net/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Sage Allen discusses the stresses and challenges she's encountered with her son who has severe autism and how this affects her marriage. Sage opens up about the raw realities of day-to-day care, and how important it is to make time for both self-care and date nights. Sage shares tips for other parents who find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted, including intentionally finding the good in each day and reaching out for support systems, including online groups.
About Sage AllenSage Erickson Allen has a master's degree in marriage family human development from BYU. ,
She taught marriage preparation at BYU and marriage enrichment classes for USU Extension in
St. George, UT for a few years. She stopped teaching when her first child was diagnosed with
severe autism around age two. That child is seven years old now and is completely nonverbal
with low functioning autism and ADHD. In her spare time, Sage likes ballroom dancing and
writing for her casual blog, sagerelationshipadvice.com. She also enjoys advocating for people
with disabilities and families that need more help managing the stresses that accompany raising a child with a disability.
Insights:
- Sage: "I'd like to tell everyone that you really can have a great fulfilling marriage with a disabled child. At feels impossible. And it kind of feels like you'll never be happy again when you have that big of a trial, but then it really does get better. And you can have a great marriage and a great life.
- Dave: "An internal insight is, I can't be, my feelings. I'm going to feel things but I've got to learn to feel it but not follow it, if that makes sense. And not let it spill over and into my parenting or into my marriage or, or how I see the situation or complain about this or that in my life because it can always be poisonous, right? And how that that spills over."
- Liz: "I was pretty naive; I still am with autism. Thank you for the reminder of the three stages and that Utah has a way to go. That saddens me and it also gives me great hope with advocates like you and people who are willing to speak out and speak up for their loved ones or children. With that, I hope things do continue to grow and change."
Sage Allen Links:
https://sagerelationshipadvice.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
This episode highlights Mark and Jill Savage, a couple who have worked through some very difficult challenges in their marriage, including infidelity. They have been married nearly 40 years now. Together they share why they decided to make things work rather than divorce and open up about how they've been able to make their marriage stronger. Whether you've experienced infidelity or you're just going through some rough patches, you'll benefit from the many insights from our discussion.
About Mark & Jill Savage:
Mark and Jill Savage are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families and marriages. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage’s are now meeting the needs of families as authors, speakers, and coaches. Known for their honesty, humor, and
practical teaching, Mark and Jill bring hope and encouragement to every audience.
Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books, including the
bestselling No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have created five online marriage
courses and authored several books including No More Perfect Marriages, I Really Messed Up,
and My Heart Is Broken. The parents of five adult children, and grandparents of six, the
Savage’s make their home in Normal, IL.
Insights:
- Mark - Mine is on of a faith response. Its to humble yourself. Grab hold of the hand of Daddy God, and let Him lead you through the mess.
- Jill - There is hope and, and redemption available. Whether a marriage makes it or not, there's hope and redemption available. And so I think that it's, you know, that's kind of where I sat, you know, whether my marriage makes it or not, I have some growth to do.
- Dave - Having humility, compassion, positivity; fundamental values for relationships, and I can't echo that enough. And that no matter where you are in your relationship, that we're going to hit these rough patches, some more serious than others. I feel like if we would forget the person that we thought we married and get to work on the relationship with the person that we did marry and focus we’d find enjoyment and remind ourselves, the principal that we remember what we rehearse, we remember what we review. And if we're reviewing the negative, and the mess and the yuckiness that we don't like, then that's what we will remember. But if we can flip the script that you talked about, refocus, change that heart, and search inward and turn outward.
- Liz - Let work to flip the script, to crucify the negative and celebrate the positive. Because whatever I do focus on grows, and I'll find the evidence of whatever I believe I'll find it.
Mark & Jill Link:
https://www.jillsavage.org/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dave and Liz talk with Amberly Lambertsen about the importance of prioritizing fun in your relationship. From laughing at the little things and making time for fun date nights to sharing silly memes to planning and talking about your next fun getaway. Couples who laugh and play together are more likely to stay together.
About Amberly Lambertsen:
Amberly Lambertsen is a Certified Family Life Educator. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and her Master's of Education with an emphasis in Family Life Education. Amberly has a specific passion for marriage relationships and helping couples make their marriage a priority throughout every stage of life. She believes that by making time for the personal and romantic side of your marriage every day you are creating a strong foundation for the other pieces of your partnership to thrive and your relationship to last a lifetime. In addition to creating a long lasting marriage, Amberly believes couples should create a relationship they enjoy and want to continue to be part of. With creative date night solutions, tips for increased emotional and physical intimacy, ideas for creating more fun, and practical ways couples can focus on their marriage, Amberly helps couples make time to build and enjoy their marriage relationship every single day throughout every stage of life.
Insights:
- Amberly: "Just find one thing you can do today to have fun together. What's one thing you can do this week, or you can do today to have fun together, and then do it again tomorrow and find something new or find something old, whatever that is just take an opportunity to have fun.
- Dave: "Make your relationship a priority. If you don't, then you naturally have this natural flow to isolation that you naturally will drift apart. So, couples who are intentionally creating the fun, whether it's spontaneous or let's plan something, those are the couples who I think will thrive rather than just trying to survive in their in their marriages and their relationships."
- Liz: "There’s no one I'd rather laugh with than my husband. I love laughing with him. He is one of my favorite people to laugh with. And I really want it to continue to be that safe harbor for him."
Amberly Lambertsen Links:
https://aprioritizedmarriage.com
https://facebook.com/aprioritizedmarriage
https://instagram.com/aprioritizedmarriage
https://tiktok.com/@aprioritizedmarriage
Podcast: Prioritize Your Marriage - https://open.spotify.com/show/5P5lHa1PjhLinOCwIIZaCk
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Monica Tanner joins Liz and Dave to talk about getting what you want in your relationship. She’ll tackle how to manage strong emotions, moving from complaints to requests, and the importance of compassionate curiosity. She will also share a four-step framework for getting what you want in your relationship. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction through her engaging podcast vibrant social media, community, and practical programs.
About Monica Tanner:
Monica Tanner, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast,
transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and
commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital
satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, vibrant social media community, and practical
programs, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.
Insights:
- Monica: "You know, there's a lot of things that you can't control in this life, but you can always control your experience inside of your circumstances. I find it to be a law of connection kind of like, matter is governed by the laws of gravity, you don't have to know that if I throw this pen up in the air, it's gonna come down. But if I do know it, it makes life a lot more predictable, it's easier to know what's going to happen, right. And so if you understand that you have full control over the experience you're having in any given circumstance, you become way more powerful, empowered, probably as the right word, you become way more empowered, to fight for the things that you want in this life, when you understand that you may not be able to, to control all the circumstances, but you can control your experience."
- Dave: "I love the idea of this compassionate curiosity. I've never heard it quite put like, but getting compassionately curious about that, not in a you know, I'm holier than thou and I'm not going to jump into this because I'm not that type of a person, but genuinely compassionate, getting curious, really wanting to understand them and to hear that to hear what they need. Rather than reacting to their emotions you have very powerful."
- Liz: "I think that is so interesting the idea of asking for what we want or what we need, it's really quite a compliment to our partner that I want to have. I want us to have it all right, I don't want to settle for me mediocrity. I really want to climb for that and reach for that top echelon of happy marriage."
Monica Tanner Links:
https://www.monicatanner.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitanner1/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/secretsofhappilyeverafter
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today, Jeff Forte joins us to chat about everything from parenting and relationship stress to 10 second hugs and intentionally making the most of every interaction with your spouse or partner. Jeff Forte is a relationship expert and author of the books, the 90 Minute marriage miracle and be happy forever. Jeff has experienced both a divorce and the death of his second wife.
About Jeff Forte:
Jeff Forte, is an Executive Peak Performance Coach, Leadership Expert, Author, and Speaker. He writes about the areas of his life that he's had to improve by overcoming adversity. His ability to relate to the reader comes from his genuine desire to give the reader immediately useful tools, skills, and strategies that they can put to work right away. The ideas you'll read about in his books contain powerful secrets that begin to shift the odds of success quickly in your favor. His work is highly proprietary in nature. He's the creator of The Magenta System for personal transformation, The Magenta Process for emotional wellness, The Rising Love Marriage Repair Process for fixing marriage and divorce prevention, and The Leadership Alliance for creating a transnational shift in global leadership. His clients include Fortune 500 Executives, Professional Athletes, High Tech Visionaries, Emmy Award Winners, Global Leaders, Business Professionals, Couples and Teams.
Insights:
- Jeff: I hope listeners remember that every interaction with each other is a chance for a fresh start. It’s a chance to improve things between you as a chance to deepen connection is a chance to reconnect to resolve conflicts a chance to apologize every single interaction can be utilized to improve your relations.
- Dave: What does my partner need from me right now. Right now, in this moment, what can I do to relieve stress from their life?
- Liz: The whole idea about distractions affecting attractions. Even Jeff, as you were so kind to talk about, you know, after the passing of your wife and then trying to date again, and how that distraction was really kind of hurtful to your son. And I, I wish more parents would pause and understand that who are either divorce or were also widows widowers to understand that, well, maybe there is a time and a place and the most important thing right now is the well being of that child.
Invites:
- Take notice of how you can help reduce some of your partner’s stress; like doing the
dishes, helping to cook dinner, picking up dinner…. - Be mindful of all the little distractions in your daily life that could be a cause of less
attraction; ie: your children seeing you on your phone may prevent them from coming
up and talking about something they’d like to share with you. - It’s the simple things that help build a stronger marriage, try to do one simple thing
today to show them that you care. Like write a note, make the bed, start the dishwasher…
Jeff Forte Links:
https://90minutemarriagemiracle.com/
https://www.facebook.com/peakresultscoaching
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Dr. David Dollahite joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the connection between faith and marriage.
About David Dollahite:
Dr. David Dollahite, is a professor of family life at Brigham Young University. He received an MS and MFT and as a family life coach. He is co director of the American families of faith project. He has more than 200 publications for scholarly and public audiences. He has written or edited nine books on Family Life and Religion, including Home Centered Gospel learning and Living Strengths and Diverse Families of Faith, Religion and Families, and Successful Marriages and Families among other books. He and his wife Mary had been married for 40 years and have seven children and four grandchildren.
Insights:
- “Personal religious choices, beliefs, values, commitments, obviously impact individuals but they also strongly impact other people; siblings, parents, couples, kids or spouses, kids." -Dave Dollahite
- "I think when each person in a marriage is humble about their own perspectives, their own attitudes, their own ideas about what should happen in a marriage, I think humility is sort of that, that core virtue that allows people to see good, see truth, see meaning and value in the other person." -Dave Dollahite
Invites:
- Learn more about how shared religion can bring you closer to your partner.
- Find time to chat with your partner about both humility and commitment in your relationship.
David’s Resources:
Website: americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.edu
YouTube: American Families of Faith
Podcast: American Families of Faith Project
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Jeff and Tammy join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss helpful tips for
blended or “stewed” families.
About Jeff and Tammy Hill:
Jeff and Tammy Hill have been enjoying the ups and downs of remarriage and stepfamily living for 17 years. Together, they have 12 children and both recently retired from teaching at
Brigham Young University. They both continue to stay busy. Jeff helps with money workshops,
and Tammy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and conducts love retreats, honeymoon workshops and dating boot camps. Most importantly, the hills love being parents, step parents and grandparents.
Insights:
- “I think the fundamental principle is to honor the previous family, honor the original family honor to recognize that nobody wished that that didn't work out with that original family.”-Jeff Hill
- “If you really are grounded and know who you are, and are living aligned with who you want to be, you're gonna be a great marriage partner.” -Tammy Hill
- “Having a step family isn't something that happens overnight. It doesn't even happen within a year or two. A lot of the research says it takes between four and seven years until a step family, big blended family or our small blended family but anyway that this type of a family actually gets cohesive.” - Tammy Hill
Invites:
- Chat with your partner about ways that you have moments to slip away from your family or home to just focus on your relationship.
- Listen to Tammy’s podcast “Live your Why” on spotify or apple podcasts
Jeff and Tammy’s Resources
Website: tammyhill.com
Instagram: @tammy_hill_lmft
Podcast: Live Your Why
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Utah Marriage Commission Manager, Alan Hawkins joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the challenges of an open relationship.
About Alan Hawkins:
Alan Hawkins is the manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. He recently retired after 33
years as a professor at Brigham Young University. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins scholarship and
outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and
sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts to
support relationship education programs for disadvantaged families. He has served on the Utah marriage commission since 2004. And as a past chair of the Utah marriage commission. He currently serves as vice chair on the board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education.
Insights:
- “ I believe marriage is a relationship that asks you to give your all to each other mentally,
emotionally, sexually, give your all to another person. I think that kind of depth in a relationship leads to a richness and a beauty and a power that you can't achieve by dividing your heart.” - Alan Hawkins - “Go deeper with one person instead of broader with others.” - Dave Schramm
- “The deeper you get, the more you understand, which then means the more you love.” - Alan Hawkins
Invites:
-“Go Deeper” with your partner by downloading the Gottman Card Deck app.
-Learn about ways that you can create a stronger marriage connection by attending the
webinars held by the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Lori joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the common issues that
result in a mid-life or “gray” divorce.
About Lori Schade:
Lori Schade is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AAMFT approved therapy
supervisor running a therapy practice in Pleasant Grove Utah called Compassionate
Connections Counseling. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and
supervises therapists towards certification in the model. She has been an adjunct faculty
member in the Marriage and Family Therapy Department at Brigham Young University as well
as Utah Valley University. For over three decades she has practiced therapy alternately with
raising seven children and has published several peer reviewed materials related to her
profession. In her spare time she enjoys running, traveling, tandem bike riding with her
husband, knitting and playing the organ. She is convinced the grandchildren are one of life's
best kept secrets.
Insights:
- “There's always hope. I have a very easy time being hopeful for married couples, sometimes I have to say, ‘borrow my hope.’ I actually got that from Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen. And I think it's so lovely. And a lot of times small changes bring about really large changes in dynamics in marriage.” - Lori Schade
- “There are two kinds of commitment. One is personal commitment, where you feel free to exercise where you want to put your loyalty. The term is kind of like restraint. It's actually called constraint commitment, and constraint commitment are all of those variables that keep people feeling stuck. It might be religious beliefs, it might be children in the home, it might be financial constraints, but there are those things where people might divorce but they stay there because they feel these barriers to divorce? And so sometimes at midlife, those are removed. And so I think it's quite possible that that's also why we might see a resurgence of divorce and at that time.” -Lori Schade
Invites:
- Find time in your week to have a connection check-in with your partner by asking these three questions. How connected are we from last time we checked? More or less or the same? What's been happening in our lives that may have impacted the level of connection? What is one small thing that would help me feel more connected?"
- Reach out to a therapist to learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy to see if it could potentially strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Lori’s Links:
Compassionate Connections Counseling Website
Book mentioned by Lori: The Lost Love Chronicles: Reunions & Memories of First Love by Nancy Kalish
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Ariel joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the complex dynamics of sex
in a relationship and how women can feel empowered in their sexuality.
Sign up for Ariel's FREE MASTERCLASS NOW THRU February 12, 2024: https://outlook.office.com/mail/safelink.html?url=https://ladiestalkinglove.com/masterclass&corid=6a8a53f5-c147-1b8a-d10f-5cc24b4e1cb5
Starting February 5, 2024 earn a special $20 discount from using this link: https://ladies-talking-love.ck.page/products/womens-sexuality-course-registration?promo=DAVE
About Ariel Finlinson:
Ariel Finlayson is a women's sexuality educator and the host of the ladies talking love podcast.
She recently earned her master's in Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State
University. A native of northern Wisconsin, she can't get enough of forests or fresh squeaky
cheese curds. Her online course from pressure to passion empowers women to live up to the
joy and fulfillment they deserve in their relationships. She is currently living in Utah with her
husband, Kyle, and their four young children.
- Insights:
“I think just recognizing number one, that it is a really important part of your relationship to foster. And then number two, that it isn't all of your relationship but with that connection and sex, you are going to be able to have a more thriving and flourishing and beautiful empowering relationship than you thought possible.” -Ariel Finlinson 22:38-22:57 - “To ask ourselves as women "Where did I get my information?" Where did I get this belief that sex is for men, for instance, or that ‘good girls don't,’ right? Many of us have heard through them years? Where did I get that information? And can I explore something different?” -Dr. Liz Hale 28:44-29:00
Invites:
- Download Ariel’s free resource, “10 Questions to ask your spouse about Sex”
- Find a time to discuss with your partner the stereotypes that you believe are affecting your relationship.
Ariel’s Links:
Instagram: @ladies.talkinglove
Website: https://www.ladiestalkinglove.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Natasha joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about the struggles that
women face with feelings of inadequacy and simple tips to overcoming these feelings.
About Natasha Dansie:
Natasha offers concrete tips and real life examples of everyday interactions that often lead to
mothers thinking they aren't enough. Natasha Dansie is a certified family life educator. She has taught relationship education classes through Utah State University for the past 11 years,
working with a variety of audiences from high school students and retreats for women to
inmates in the maximum security unit and everything in between. She loves traveling, learning
and snuggling. Natasha and her husband Jeff are raising their five children ages 7 to 19
alongside a variety of farm animals in central Utah.
Insights:
- “It's hard to be grateful and resentful.” -Dr. Liz Hale
- “Observe and then serve.” -Dr. Dave Schramm
- “One of the actions that I've personally seen the power of in my own life is the intentional practice of gratitude. So when I feel my stuff, my brain starts slipping into this negative vortex that starts to get dark. And I just have to pause. And when I start practicing gratitude, it's like, I can reverse the effects of that.” -Natasha Dansie
Invites:
- Find a moment to pause after you have a feeling of inadequacy.
- If someone shares the way that they are feeling, instead of stating why they shouldn’t be
feeling that way, validate their feelings by saying something like, “that must be really
difficult” or “I see how you could feel that way.”
Natasha’s Links:
Email: ariseworkshops@gmail.com
Instagram: @natashadansie
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Tyler joins Dr. Dave Schramm to talk about the challenges of addiction and shame in
marriage and the skill set required to overcome addictions with a stronger marriage connection.
About Tyler Patrick:
Tyler is a Marriage and Family Therapist has dedicated his career to mastering and
understanding of recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. He has come to believe
that the men and women who embrace and live the principles of recovery do far more than get
their lives back. They become the best kinds of husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. He
has been married for over 20 years to an incredible woman and as a father to four amazing
daughters. His hobbies away from work include supporting his children's interests, fly fishing,
backpacking, and training River, his German Shorthaired Pointer.
Insights:
"I'm going to pursue a life where I understand what's going on in my mind and my heart, and
then choosing to live from that sort of centered, sort of gut place. And then that allows me to
live my life on, you know, on life's terms, if I'm having a bad moment, I can trust that I have the tools to do that. I can trust that I'm human.” -Tyler Patrick
“When you have two people who know who they are and can be vulnerable with one another,
and they choose to be with one another. That's where the deepest levels of connection
happen.” -Tyler Patrick
“If you're sitting there listening to this feeling like it's hopeless or it's dark, it's not, your story is not finished. It's just begun and you're sitting on a goldmine if you're willing to do the work.” -Tyler Patrick
Invites:
- Check out the podcast of Brian and Tyler
- Sign up for a first free session with Tyler.
- Talk with your partner about the importance of humility and honesty in your
relationship.
Tyler’s Links:
Website: https://lovestrong.com
Instagram: @the.wandering.therapist
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D., will explore with Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz how to intentionally slow your mind and body to build awareness and create better connection during sex.
About Chelom Leavitt:
Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D. teaches in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. Dr. Leavitt received her Ph.D. from Penn State where she focused her research on how mindfulness is linked to sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr. Leavitt’s findings have been published in top research journals and books. Her research has helped uncover what couples experience during sex, and what factors contribute to connection. Along with her work in Sexual Mindfulness, Dr. Leavitt hosts interventions that teach couples how to slow down and be more aware and create greater connection during sex. She regularly blogs for Psychology Today as well her website www.chelomleavitt.com, where she shares with readers the latest research on meaningful sex, slowing down to experience greater connection, and being more curious in romantic and sexual relationships. Dr. Chelom Leavitt is married to David Leavitt and they are the parents of nine children.
Insights:
- Chelom: Slow down, be gentle and be curious.
- Dave: Media does not portray sex correctly, making time to breathe, slow down, and raise awareness will benefit your relationship in all ways.
- Liz: Normalizing emotions in our life and bringing awareness can increase our sexual pleasure and lives.
Invites: •
- Practice the mindful embrace and heads together exercise Chelom discussed with your partner.
- Start mindfulness exercises. The next time you have 2 minutes of breathing room, sit down, practice how it feels to just breathe and be. Implement this routine more and more into your schedule.
- Notice what happens when you are physically connecting with your partner. A hug can tell you a lot about how your relationship looks and what you and your partner need.
Chelom Leavitt Links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexualmindfulnessproject/
https://www.chelomleavitt.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dave and Liz with Tammy
Hill, educator, LMFT, ASSECT, and author discuss how to overcome rejection, desire difference,
and stale sex. Explore new ways to replenish your partner and build beauty in your sexual
connection.
About Tammy Hill:
Tammy Hill is passionate about strengthening marriage relationships. She is a Licensed
Marriage and Family Therapist and an active member of the American Association of Sexual
Educators, Counselors and Therapists (ASSECT). Tammy enjoys being an adjunct faculty
member at Brigham Young University in the School of Family Life where she teaches hundreds
of students each semester in Marriage Preparation, Marriage Enhancement and Healthy
Sexuality in Marriage courses. Tammy owns a private counseling practice where she largely
works with couples. She has free resources available on her website
(http://www.tammyhill.com) where she also offers numerous Making Love Retreats,
Honeymoon Workshops and Dating Bootcamps each year. Published in 2021, Tammy’s first
book, “God Made Girls and Boys” is a beautiful children’s book addressing agency, gender,
accountability, and hope in our Heavenly Parent’s eternal plan. Her second book, “Replenish:
Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage”, was published earlier this year. Most importantly
Tammy is forever grateful to be a wife, mother and grandmother.
Insights:
Tammy: Humans are created with a capacity to have amazing sexual pleasure. Push yourself to
learn how to replenish each other.
Dave: Make time to intentionally have sex with your partner.
Liz: Monogamous does not have to mean monotonous.
Invites:
- Instead of waiting for your partner to change, recognize the part you play in
conflict and seek to change it without any guarantee that your partner will do the
same. You may find that your partner’s response to your change is exactly what you
hoped. - Examine whether there is contempt in your relationship. If you “horibilize” your
partner by objectifying them and only seeing their faults and their weaknesses, you
might be guilty of contempt. - As yourself, “ If I were to give my whole heart to my partner, what would it occur
to me to do?”. Be still and then heed that inner call to connect
Tammy Hill Links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tammy_hill_lmft/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/replenishyourmarriage
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5wSW6CZ431e8nJFCVMUyeZ
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. Today, Liz, Dave, and Rex share family traditions, memories of celebrations past, and relationship insights.
December is a time of celebration for many that include cultural traditions. The holidays can be many things for many people: great joy, chaos, solemn reflection or new beginnings. Join us as we discuss Christmas memories, traditions, and share some tips to help you navigate your relationship during the holidays.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Rex joins Dave and Liz today to discuss tips for managing In-laws and family gatherings.
Relationships with extended family can be tricky or sometimes difficult and anxiety inducing. Dr. John Gottman says, "Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience." Whether we come from similar cultures or not, together we create a brand new culture within our new families.
The holidays bring opportunities to spend time with our extended family. Though these gatherings can bring many emotions to the service, here are four tips to help settle in and make the best of the time for you and them.
- Speak Kindly: Speak kindly to your partner about their family and friends. Share concerns or issues with a compassion mindfulness and heart.
- Get Curious: When you bring an open curiosity to your family gatherings, you can learn things about your extended family, your spouse, and yourself. Being curious also creates the opportunity for bids for connection and leads to relationship building. People love to share stories, likes, and things about themselves. So take a moment to get curious about your extended family and treasure the experience.
- Lean In: Leaning in creates situations where everyone can be included and participate in a comfortable way. It's a good idea to prepare at least one activity, topic, or item to bring to the gathering that will get everyone wanting to contribute or participate. This could be a simple game, social activity, food or recipe or possibly even a toy of some sort. When the moment arrives, rise to the occasion and lean in.
- Plan Your Exit: Sometimes we can only contain so much joy at family gathering before problems may arise. Have an exit plan or strategy in place so that you and your spouse can discretely signal each other that you have reached your quota or are ready to go. This can be a fun and relationship building exercise for you and your spouse. Rex shares a strategy and code for "I am ready to go" that he and his wife have developed over their marriage.
- Avoid Contentious Conversation Topics: It's usually best to avoid discussing religion and politics at social gatherings. And if you have a family member that enjoys sharing advice, listen with a curious mind, but be ready to respond politely. Some examples might be, "That is interesting, I will have to think about that." or "That's a good idea, but we're going to do it this way." or "Thanks, but this seems to be working for us right now."
- Beware of Criticism: We may be able to tease our own family, but when someone else mentions a criticism it can be triggering. So be respectful and compassionate, and it is probably best to keep critiques to ourselves.
Keys To A Stronger Marriage Connection:
Rex - "Never complain, criticize, or mention problems between you and your spouse to family or friends. Keep it between you and your spouse or seek professional counsel"
Take-aways:
Liz - "Allow your spouse to have and handle their relationships with others. Don't force them to forgive or just move on. Let them work on the relationships or issues at their pace and in their way."
Rex - "Get curious. Get curious with people and learn about them. People love to talk about themselves or share things they are interested in. And, have an exit plan so you and your spouse can respect each others comfort zones and so they feel safe."
Dave - "Practice Compassion and Understanding. Give people the benefit of the doubt and be able to slow down and don't get caught up in the thick of thin things. People are more important than problems."
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Stacy Goulding joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss how she is able to help educate youth about reproductive health. She also shares some tips for couples to have positive intimate relationships.
About Stacy Goulding:
Stacy is a licensed health educator that has spent the last decade teaching at-risk youth about
reproductive health. She's passionate about preparing couples for a positive intimate
relationship in their marriage. She believes everyone deserves comprehensive research based
information about how the body works. Thus her true intimacy class was created. She's
currently developing a class for parents to teach kids of all ages about healthy sexuality. She also was a wellness coach specializing in women and postpartum wellness. In addition to teaching Stacy loves cycling, dancing, kayaking, pickleball and classic rock. She resides in Utah with her husband and two sons.
Insights:
“And it's really simple. And you can also approach it from, ‘where do babies come from,’ and
you start small and grow with your kids' development.” -Stacy Goulding
“I think overall being authentic is really important. It's okay to tell your kid I've never given a sex talk before where I wasn't given the sex talk before or I'm feeling nervous, because this is my first time or I don't want to say it wrong. But you can say those things. And just say, but this is so important, I think it is worth going through the awkward or the uncomfortable to discuss this.” -Stacy Goulding
"It's not like "Don't do it, it's bad!". It's like "No, sex is amazing when there are proper boundaries and values in place." Especially with teens right now, they want to know "why?". There are not just listening to Mom & Dad said so, they don't care. So giving them the "why?" really matters. "Hey I want you to have this in the future. Let's get there through this healthier and safer path." -Stacy Goulding
Invites:
- Look at the courses that Stacy has to offer on her website.
- If you have children, start today by talking positively about their bodies and the ways
that you show affection with your partner. - Learn about consent and how you can implement asking for consent in your relationship
or marriage.
Stacy's Links:
https://stacylyncoaching.com/
instagram: @stacylyn_coaching
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Laura Parry joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss tips that help couples to transition to
parenthood. Laura shares her insight and experience on how partners can support each other
during this stressful time.
About Laura Parry
Laura holds a Master's of Social Work from the University of Utah, and in 2019 became certified in perinatal mental health. In addition to helping clients through the perinatal period, she enjoys working with those experiencing faith transitions. She earned a clinical yoga certification in 2021 and loves using the healing power of yoga, nature and therapy for clients and for herself. She lives in Lehi with her husband, three kids, two cats, and one dog and loves reading, hiking and playing the piano.
Insights
- “I would want people to know that your relationship can not just survive, but you can thrive even if there's been a change and relationship and faith in religion.” - Laura Parry
- “I also want women to know that this is a vulnerable time for them, it can be a hard time,
obviously, it comes with a lot of excitement and joy to hopefully, but that they're allowed to feel the whole range of emotions that come with a transition as big as having a baby.” -Laura Parry
Invites
- Check out the resources at rootsbranceswellness.com
- If you’re preparing to have a baby, sit down with your partner to talk about the SHRIMP
acronym and talk about your expectations for when the baby arrives. - Learn more about understanding faith transitions by talking with someone who has gone or is going through one.
Laura's Links
https://www.rootsbrancheswellness.com
Instagram: @_lauraparry
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Kevin and Racy Parr joining Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
experience in a blended family and 28 years of marriage.
About Kevin & Tracey Parr
Kevin and Tracy Parr have been married for 28 years and run a business together in St. George,
UT. They have 3 kids together with two that struggle with mental health illnesses. They have
years of experience working through differences and the difficulties of re-marriage. Kevin and
Tracy have been nicknamed “velcro” because of the way they enjoy doing everything together.
Insights
- “Every now and then we just had to figure that it was okay to completely, totally disagree about something, and table it for a while.” - Kevin Parr 25:57-26:22
- “I feel that you need to stay connected with your spouse and in all the things that you do.” - Tracy Parr 31:43-32:02
- “One of the authors we had on recently, Ted Lowe would say this favorite phrase, which I really coined is "I would feel the same way if I were you." Which is probably true, right?” - Dr. Liz Hale 38:33-38:55
Invites
- Find a new resource; a book, podcast or instagram page that will help you to learn more about what you and your spouse are wanting to work on.
- In parenting, remember to not take your child’s feeling of sadness or anger as personal attacks against you.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss managing money within
strong marriages. He talks about the importance of assuming the best and the 5 Money Habits
to financial success.
About Ryan Law:
Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is an
award-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the Personal
Financial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)
and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student Loan
Planning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.
Insights:
- “I would encourage couples to do two things. First, to not assume bad intent on your spouse's part. And second, to wait until you have all of the facts.” - Ryan Law
- “Those who give and find a way to give in a way that they both agree to are healthier, happier, and even richer.” -Dr. Liz Hale
- “Nobody wins really, as soon as it erupts and it becomes emotional when you get defensive and name calling everything you had just doesn't just does not go well” -Dr. Dave Schramm
Invites:
- Think of an experience when you had wrong assumptions about the way that they spent
money and think about what you could do differently next time to assume the best. - Join Ryan Law’s email list to learn about more tips that will help you to master the money side of your marriage
Ryan’s Links:
https://money-marriage.com/
https://powerpay.org
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Kris and Adrian Maiava join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
experience in meeting with Dr. Liz Hale. They talk about their experience in coming together
through therapy and overcoming addiction.
About Kris and Adrian Maiava:
Kris and Adrian met in Utah although they grew up in Hawaii and Australia. They share an
incredible story of working through struggles and addictions, separations and learning to love
and trust again. After three years in an intensive treatment program, Kris learned things about
himself and his marriage that changed his life. And Adrian learned patience and experienced
tremendous growth as she hung on to hope and learned to forgive. Together they have grown
stronger than ever and enjoy parenting their 5 year old daughter Lola.
Insights:
- “I guess some questions to ask yourselves as to you know, do you still want to be partners with them, with your significant other? Do you still want to do this with them? If so, if yes. And if they want to as well, then I think it's worth it.” - Kris Maiava
- “Better choices lead to better chances.” -Dave Schramm
- “But there was a point in your life where you decided, this is the person that I want to do life
with. So that should be the person that you offer the most grace to.” -Adrian Maiava
Invites:
- If you are struggling with addiction, seek outside help.
- Have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about something that is challenging your
relationship and find a way to overcome it together
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Dr. Kim Allen joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about Family Life Coaching.
She talks about what it is, what it isn't, and even a few examples and stories of clients she's
worked with.
About Kim Allen:
Dr. Kimberly Allen is Interim Associate Dean and Director of Academic Programs and Professor in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences at North Carolina State University, as well as CO creator of the family life coaching Association, and co-owner of Sweet Gestalt LLC. Dr. Ellen has over 20 years experience working with youth and their families. Her research interests include family life coaching, student success, parenting and relationship Education. Dr. Ellen is author of the book “Theory, Research and Practical Guidelines for Family Life Coaching.”
Insights:
“So really at its core family life coaching is taking what we know in Family Science about what's good in couple relationships, what's good and family relationships and partnering that with the process from coaching psychology.” - Dr. Kimberly Allen
“You said the words listening for instead of listening to. You listen for feelings, you're listening
for strengths, and just trying to see things from their perspective” - Dr. Dave Schramm
Invites:
- Learn more about Family Life Coaching on the FLC Association’s website.
- Consider reaching out to a Family Life Coach to help you to improve your interpersonal
relationships.
Kim Allen’s Links:
Organization Website: flcassociation.org
Personal Website: drkimallen.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Beth Goss joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about tips for bringing a
baby home. She discusses the principles taught in Gottman’s “Bringing Baby Home” program.
About Beth Goss
Beth Goss is a certified Gottman, educator and a training specialist for the bringing baby home program. She is also a full time faculty member at North Seattle College, where she teaches aparent education and child development classes to families raising children from birth to five years. Additionally, she was previously employed by Swedish Medical Center to teach childbirth, postpartum and sibling classes. She has authored several articles and has been interviewed for several podcasts discussing the transition to parenthood. Beth is originally from Queens, New York, but has called Seattle home for 31 years. She lives there with her husband and loves it when her adult kids visit
Insights:
- “The key for us was what we call the three T's watching our temper, tongue, and tone.” - Dave Schramm
- “That's not why you got married, you know, you got married because you love each other and your best friends and you have fun together.” - Beth Goss
- “I think a big piece of advice is don't wait to be asked. Don't wait for your partner to say, could you do X?” - Beth Goss
Invites:
- Download the Gottman App to find the questions relating to the “Bringing Baby Home”
program. - Enroll in the “Bringing Baby Home” training based on researched tips on how to prepare for starting a family.
- Learn about tips that will help you to connect with your partner more on Gottman’s “SmallThings Often” podcast.
Beth Goss’s Links:
Gottman Website: https://www.gottman.com/
Personal Website: https://www.bethgoss.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Mike and Heidi Condie join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their experience from almost separating to having a strong healthy marriage. Mike and Heidi vouch that if they can get through the challenges that they have worked through, then anyone can.
About Michael and Heidi Condie: Mike and Heidi are a couple from Liz's private practice who were on the brink of divorce. They were suffocating from stress and challenges related to their remarriage and stepfamily and were spiraling downward in negative communication patterns. Together with Liz's guidance, they put in the work starting with themselves and then continued to fight for their marriage instead of against each other. Their journey has been truly inspiring.
Insights: “You know me and you still love me? I don't think it gets any better than that” - Dr. Liz Hale “And she said, but what I can tell you is, whatever skills or things you don't learn how to resolve in this marriage. I promise you, you will have the same issues in the next relationship.” -Heidi Condie “And I think even before the work is humility, being open and recognizing that I need to work.” -Dr. Dave Schramm “And it was the love for each other that we had for each other, that was the most important.” -Mike Condie
Invites: - Rate the strength of your relationship this week on a scale of 1 to 10, then ask your partner what you can do to show up a little bit better for them. - Create a gratitude book where you and your partner can randomly list things that you are grateful for about your partner. Place the book in a central location in your home.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Today Ted Lowe joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how to change your
marriage mindset in order to change your relationship. Ted believes that you can change your
marriage by first changing your thoughts.
About Ted Law:
Ted Lowe Ted Lowe is on staff with Family First, where he serves as a speaker, writer, resource
creator, and podcast host. He is also the founder of For Us Marriage.com. He is the author of
several incredible books, including his most recent release, Us in Mind: How Changing Your
Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage. Ted lives with his wife, Nancie, and their 4 children in
Cumming, GA.
Insights:
“Don’t let anybody celebrate your spouse more than you.” - Ted Lowe
"If we think something, then we're going to look for ways to confirm it." -Dr. Dave Schramm
“What I think about myself radically determines how my spouse experiences me at any given
moment.” -Dr. Liz Hale
Invites:
- Learn more about a growth mindset and have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about how it could help you in your marriage.
- Think of one hobby that your partner gets excited about and then come up with something you could do to get excited with them
Ted Lowe’s Links:
Forusmarriage.com
Facebook: For Us Marriage
Instagram: @forusmarriage
Book: https://a.co/d/iMqdiZj
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
httpe://www.drlizhale.com
Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss how partners can have a
healthy money relationship. Ryan talks about the importance of regular financial planning
meetings and understanding your partner’s attitudes, beliefs and experiences with money.
About Ryan Law:
Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is an
award-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the Personal
Financial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)
and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student Loan
Planning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.
Insights:
- “People will do things for reasons that make sense to them.” - Dave Schramm
- "Today is the right day to start having financial conversations." -Ryan Law
- "And it doesn't mean that one is right and one is wrong" - Liz Hale
Invites:
- Sign up for Ryan Law’s email list.
- Schedule a monthly financial planning meeting with your partner to discuss what you
spent last month and make some guidelines for the next month! - Make a separate savings account for a specific fun financial goal! Ex. Disneyland trip,
backyard upgrade etc.
Ryan’s Links:
https://money-marriage.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
https://strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
On today’s episode, the well known author, Kyle Benson joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to
discuss the simple principles that make marriage last. Kyle discusses the profound effectiveness of Emotion Focused Therapy in the stabilization of relationships. In addition, he recognizes the benefits of using the research by John and Julie Gottman to maintain a healthy relationship.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Kyle Benson?
3:00 - Combination of Gottman Method and Emotional Based Therapy
8:36 – What is the longing for attachment?
10:15 –Am I enough? Am I worthy of love and care?
12:50 – Attachment Strategies/Styles
16:03 – Emotion Focused Therapy
20:15 – Conflict is fire
22:43 – One sided partner effort
26:10 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
27:25 – Kyle’s resources
28:40 – Takeaways
About Kyle Benson:
Kyle studies how partners in healthy relationships intentionally –talk to each other, have passionate sex, stay emotionally connected, and more – to uncover the tools and perspectives that make love last. His work has been featured in dozens of major media channels including The Gottman Institute, Business Insider, U.S. News, The Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, and more.
Insights:
Liz: The healthy “We” starts with a healthy “Me.”
Kyle: Underneath every criticism is a longing for attachment.
Dave: It is not necessarily a poor partner but a poor pattern.
Invites:
- Join Kyle Benson’s email list to get free and easily acceptable tips to make marriage last.
- Take 10 minutes to write down how you are going to change the unwanted patterns in your relationship.
Kyles’s Links:
https://www.kylebenson.net/
FB @Kyle Benson: https://www.facebook.com/kylebenson.net
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
On today's episode, the Netflix hit Aleeza Ben Shalom, from “Jewish Matchmaking”
joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss the magic of matchmaking. Discover what matchmaking is, if it is for you, and how you can build a better marriage based on lessons Aleeza uses during matchmaking. We hope you enjoy!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Aleeza Ben Shalom?
7:12 – Tools for matchmaking with your soul mate.
9:03 – What makes the best match?: Soul mate potential baseline.
13:50 – Is there something better out there?
16:00 – Stories of making the match.
18:14 – Handling challenges with your partner.
19:05 – Aleeza’s marital success stories.
21:57 – Benefits of hiring a matchmaker.
23:45 – "Mystery in your history”
24:50 – Where can I learn about matchmaking?
27: 15 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
29:00 – Aleeza’s resources
29: 30 – Takeaways
About Aleeza Ben Shalom:
Aleeza Ben Shalom is a renowned matchmaker, dating coach, author, sought-after speaker, and soulmate clarity expert who empowers marriage-minded singles to find and identify the one. She guides them from uncertainty and overwhelm to the clarity needed for confident decision-making regarding their potential life partners. Aleeza is the featured Matchmaker on Season 1 of the new Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking. Aleeza authored two insightful books, Get real, Get Married-a guide to get over your hurdles and under the chuppah, and Virtual Dating, your guide to relationships in a socially distanced world. As the founder of Marriage Minded Mentor, a company who focuses on helping singles get married, she connects singles globally with skilled matchmakers and dating coaches.
Aleeza’s impressive track record has earned her the title of “Jewish Dating Guru,” as she has successfully led over 200 singles through the steps to engagement, regardless of age, affiliation, or life stage.
For over 15 years, Aleeza has worked with men and women worldwide to break unhealthy patterns and foster relationships that lead to marriage. During this time, she has trained more than 350 dating coaches and matchmakers worldwide.
She now lives in Israel with her husband, five children and a lovable dog!
Insights:
Dave: There are many factors that make us a good match with the people around us.
Liz: Have hope that there IS a person out there for you!
Aleeza: World peace begins at home. Do your best to love yourself and build a family.
Invites:
- Listen to the matchmaker, matchmaker podcast and find a topic that you love, have a discussion with your partner.
- Write down what your values, beliefs, attractions, bothers and fears are. Reflect on how these could affect your future dating and marriage experiences.
Aleeza’s Links:
IG @Aleezabenshalom
Fb /aleezabenshalom
Linkedin/aleezabenshalom
Twitter/aleezabenshalom
Tiktok/aleezabenshalom
The Matchmaker Matchmaker Podcast
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today's episode, Dr. Lee Baucom joins us, and we have a great discussion about
intentionality and actively creating a stronger marriage connection both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Join Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz in this journey on strengthening marriage connection, relationships, and personal values.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Lee Baucom
2:30 – Number one concern for new couples
5:12 – Shifts you need to make in the first year of marriage
9:08 – Pause button marriage
12:52 – Difference in how you communicate vs communication skills
14:25 – The arc of disconnection
16:14 – Three levels of connection
18:58 – Intentionality is important
22:14 – What can you do to reconnect?
25:51 – Difference between marriage fail point and individual fail point
28:30 – Husbands bootcamp
31:36 – There is intentionality behind everything
35:28 – Key component to a stronger marriage connection
38:06 – Resources
39:07 – Takeaways
About Lee Baucom:
Dr. Lee Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For three decades, Lee has been helping people around the world save, restore, and create the marriage they deserve and desire. He's the author of the book, “How to save your marriage in three simple steps”, in addition to six other books, and he's the creator of the highly effective internet Marriage program. Save the marriage. Lee is also the host of two popular podcast Thrive nation and save the marriage.
Insights:
Dave: Lack of attention leads to loss of connection. Physical, emotional, and spiritual
connection all have an impact on your partner, what will you do to strengthen those areas?
Liz: The key of the “We” and having each other’s backs, we all want someone to get us and know us. You are in this together.
Lee: Remember the pause button, did you hit pause and what is it going to take to un-pause it. Get more intentional about connecting from a physical, spiritual, and emotional level. Take action.
Invites:
- Shift from “you and me” to “we”. Remember that you are a team, and it is important to acknowledge those struggles as a team.
- Mature relationships are not without the feelings of romance and passion but include communications and connection
- Husband bootcamp is a video bootcamp structured over 30 days to get into shape and address the wounds that men carry around with them that can get in the way of
relationships
Lee Baucom links:
https://savethemarriage.com/
https://savethemarriage.com/podcast
https://savethemarriage.com/books
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On Today’s episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, we dive deep into disagreements with our guest, Laura Silverstein, who is a certified Gottman couples therapist. Discover with Dave and Liz all kinds of tips to help couples manage differences in their marriage shared by Laura.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Laura Silverstein
1:47 – Conflict is not a bad thing in marriage
4:00 – The number one communication problem in couple relationships
6:21 – Two parts to establishing new habits
11:11 – Four horsemen – John Gottman
14:55 – What to do when both partners continue to be critical
18:27 – How to repair damages within a partnership
23:50 – Ownership, humility and kindness
27:05 – A little about Laura’s book workbook
29:07 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
31:35 – Takeaway’s
About Laura Silverstein:
Laura Silverstein is Certified Gottman Couples therapist as well as a recognized thought leader in the field of relationship wellness, sought out for her expert advice from media outlets such as, the New York Times and the today's show. In her book, Love is an action verb, Laura helps couples focus on their strengths instead of their problems and guides them with small step by step action plans.
Insights:
Dave: It takes humility, compassion, understanding and awareness when rebuilding something that has fallen. Take the time to slow things down and really look at things from a wider perspective
Liz: Take ownership, be humble and stay kind when working through a repair in couple relationships
Laura: It is important to have humility and stay humble when we enter loving relationships, no matter the challenges at hand
Invites:
• Take ownership, have humility and be kind. Those are key things to effectively repair a relationships
• When things start to escalate, it is good to ask for a break – take a time out and revisit later
• Two parts to learn – learning how to avoid conflict in the first place, if possible, and understanding how to get out of it once you are stuck
Laura Silverstein Links:
https://laurasilverstein.co
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection, learn about the 7 primal
questions that all humans are seeking to answer if their lives, careers and especially their relationships. Discover with Dave, Liz and Mike how to remedy these questions and understand their answers and how that works in your life.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Mike Foster?
2:02 – What is the primal question model?
5:17 – The 7 Primal Questions
9:09 – How does understanding these questions apply to marriage?
13:38 – Satellite questions
15:14 – How does the primal question model apply to parenting?
18:12 – Understanding the importance of seeking emotional intelligence
20:19 – Safeguarding the scramble
22:48 – How does answering the primal question affect communication?
27:26 – The 7 Primal Questions assessment
30:24 – What is the most common primal question?
31:45 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
32:37 – Where to find more resources
34:16 – Takeaways
About Mike Foster:
Known as the Mr. Rogers of personal development, Mike Foster is a best-selling author,
speaker, and executive coach empowering people to build strong lives and relationships.
His new book “The Seven Primal Questions” is a revolutionary new way to understand our emotional needs. Based on over four years of research and 6,000 hours of one-on-one interviews, the Primal Question model will transform your relationship with yourself and others. Mike’s work has been featured on Good Morning America, FOX News and the New York Times. He lives in San Diego with his wife Jennifer and their fluffy dog.
Insights:
Mike: Awareness needs to be moved into action.
Dave: Be aware of ACE’s and see how we can provide ourselves and other safety, connection and security.
Liz: Behavior adaptation makes a difference in how we act today.
Invites:
• Ask your spouse how you can answer their primal question with a “yes.”
• Sit down with yourself or your spouse and discover which of the 7 primal
questions you need to be answered. Share this with your partner and write it down
in a journal or safe space where you can review it often.
• Seek to understand what your child’s primal question is by talking with your
spouse and child about what they need from you as a parent.
• Take the assessment @ mikefoster.tv
Mike Foster Links:
https://www.mikefoster.tv
https://www.instagram.com/mikefoster2000/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
down with life coach Julie Balkman and discuss the dating game when it comes to relationships and how to get out of the game and develop healthy happy relationships without the runaround.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Julie Balkman?
2:01 – Getting into coaching
5:47 – Thinking that gets us stuck
7:28 – Playing the dating game can be confusing
8:30 – Being in a “situationship”
9:28 – CCQ: Clear, Concise, Quick
14:04 – Largest obstacles for dating today
17:36 – Good tips on connecting in dating
18:33 – Two things to look for in a partner
21:22 – Some practical tips and tools
23:22 – Decision making success system
25:27 – Dating Interview Project
28:42 – Key to a stronger marriage connection
30:05 – Where to find more resources
31:50 – Takeaways
About Julie Balkman:
Julie Balkman was trained and mentored by 3 life coaching programs which resulted in
eight years and thousands of hours in coaching experience. She is an expert panelist
for the LDS dating app “Mutual” and is currently writing a book about LDS dating. She
was a former co-host of a three-year international young adult support group and is the
owner/operator of the 100 interviews project, a project involving 120 young adults
interviewed about dating. She is an artist and illustrator and loves to dance!
Insights:
Julie: Be responsible: being responsible is sexy, romantic, confident, peaceful, and loving. When you are responsible you create a better life for yourself and your significant other.
Dave: It is critical to have a willingness to learn. It is ok to accept different things and want tolearn and change, especially within a relationship.
Liz: I love the idea of CCQ, clear concise and quick
Invites:
• Invite me to share my Dating Map Presentation as a guest speaker. I love speaking and teaching to any size audience.
• I have 1:1 coaching packages, plus a VIP acceleration package, which I would love to tell about. VIP: 6 weeks, 6 days a week, 20 minutes each day.
• Start with love, learn how to be a receiver of love so you can be ready for a real
relationship.
Julie Balkman Links:
https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=julie+balkman&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
https://www.instagram.com/lifecoach.julie/?hl=en
https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-balkman-0898031a5/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast, Dr. Ashley LeBaron-
Black tackles the hard conversation “How do I manage money in marriage.” Join us to learn how conversations about money can connect you and your partner rather than pull you apart.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Ashley Lebaron-Black?
1:48 – Is the issue really about money?
5:12 – Managing money habits: Family background
7:34 – Working together to manage money
8:45 – Family financial socialization
10:25 – Overcoming discomfort in talking about money
12:00 – Money management matters: Debt, materialism, financial deception, etc.
15: 35 – Joint bank accounts
18:08 – Financial therapy for marriage
19:30 – What makes a stronger marriage connection to Ashley
20:10 – Ashley’s tools and tips
24:50 – How do I bring up money while dating?
36:40 – Takeaways
About Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black:
Dr. Ashley LeBaron-Black is an Assistant Professor of Family Life at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. She received her PhD in Family Studies and Human Development from the University of Arizona. Her research focus is family finance, including finances in couple relationships and financial socialization. Ashley has published over 50 peer-reviewed articles and is an Associate Editor for the Journal of Family and Economic Issues. She is Chair of the Family Financial Wellbeing focus group for the National Council on Family Relations (NCFR).
Insights:
Ashley: Don’t let your money control you and your marriage; you can control it
Dave: There is no right way to manage money in your marriage, but it is so important to
understand where your ideas of money management are coming from. Take some time to understand and communicate that with your partner.
Liz: Talk about money with your partner, be honest.
Invites:
• Sit down with your partner this week and develop a monthly budget together.
• Talk to your spouse about how you want to manage your money together going
forward. Should we do a monthly meeting, get a joint bank account, etc.?
• Read a blog post from Ashley’s website to understand a part of money management you and your partner may not understand.
Ashley Lebaron-Black's Links:
https://lebaron-black.byu.edu/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
down with Dr. Bill Doherty, back from Season 1 due to popular demand, to share how we can all become marital first responders. A long time Marriage and Family Therapist, he is an expert on challenges couples face when navigating marital crisis.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?
2:29 – Where the idea of marital first responders comes from
4:42 – First important step in being a first responder.
6:32 – Other Do’s and Don’ts
9:45 – We can be an influence
12:16 – Common complaints from marriages
15:26 – Perspective skill technique example
19:16 – Learning to protect boundaries
21:36 – Unforced error
24:12 – You can be a friend to someone and their marriage
30:33 – What to say without adding negativity
31:14 – Where to get more resources from Bill
32:55 – Takeaways
About Bill Doherty:
Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University
of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on challenges
couples face in the modern world, on navigating marital crisis and avoiding divorce, and
on using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. His books for the public
include The Intentional Family and Take Back Your Marriage. In recent years Bill has
taken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiative
working to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy
Academy.
Insights:
Bill: Marriage is existing of social relationships and when people open up, it is a precious gift they are giving. It is good to be mindful and intentional in how we respond.
Dave: We can have empathy without agreeing with others perspectives, you can still show compassion and lend a helping hand even if we don’t necessarily agree with what they may be saying.
Liz: LEAP: Listen, empathy, affirm and positive perspective
Invites:
• Check out maritalfirstresponders.org and participate in some of the workshops available to you.
• When giving advice to friends it is important to be a good friend to that person but also their marriage, listen with empathy but don’t rush to give advice. Don’t jump to take a friend’s side without considering the whole picture.
• Use life experience when giving out advice, you may not be an expert but we all have experiences to take and learn from when helping others.
Bill Doherty Links:
https://thedohertyapproach.com/about/
Bill Doherty Books
https://memberium.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sam and Ember were on the verge of divorce for several years. They were a couple that Dr. Liz Hale worked with in her private practice, and they are willing to no longer be private but go public and share how they miraculously turned their marriage around from miserable to incredible.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who are Sam and Ember?
2:35 – What is something you wish you would have known before getting married?
4:51 – Contributors to the breakdown of a marriage
9:00 – Sam’s background
11:56 – How can two people experience one marriage differently?
15:45 – Addressing ‘me’ to fix ‘we’
20:00 – Ember’s ah-ha moments toward change
26:01 – Sam’s ah-ha moments toward change
31:00 – Communication strategies
36:43 – The role of forgiveness in healing
41:08 – Strategies to maintain connection
43:14 – Advice for couples on the brink
46:16 – Honesty is a key for a stronger marriage connection. Seek what’s best for the marriage.
Insights:
Sam: Get help. Some issues may be beyond what the two of you can do together. Be honest. You can decide what kind of spouse you want to be.
Ember: Deal with conflict before the weekend. Start your weekend with a clean slate.
Invites:
-
Deal with conflict as soon as you can. If there is something bothering you, sit down and have a conversation about it with your partner when you both are in a clear headspace.
-
Take some time today to evaluate yourself. Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?
-
Give your partner a hug, a small peck on the cheek, or a squeeze of the hand today. Just a little physical affection can go a long way.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Do you ever feel like your partner is more like a roommate than a spouse? This isn’t uncommon for couples to experience, and is actually a feature of marriage than a bug. Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Nate Bagley about “Roommate Syndrome” and discuss how being in this rut can act as a catalyst for growing up our marriage. As something that everyone in a relationship encounters, this podcast is a must-listen-to resource to create a stronger marriage connection!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Nate Bagley?
1:42 – Fear of a mediocre marriage
3:59 – Interviewing the most successful and happy couples
6:15 – What is “roommate syndrome”?
10:20 – How to get the spark back in your marriage
12:30 – How to get out of the roommate rut
18:01 – Roommate syndrome is a feature, not a bug
19:57 – Happiness is a byproduct of growth
22:20 – The Eisenhower Matrix
27:10 – What do we need to do to have a great marriage?
30:10 – Maximize enjoyment for both people
32:48 – Nate Bagley resources
33:32 – Nate’s takeaway: you have more control over your marriage than you think
35:33 – Liz’s takeaway: remember maximum joint enjoyment
36:06 – Dave’s takeaway: the pillars of friendship – I like you, I know you, I trust you
About Nate Bagley:
Nate Bagley is a marriage researcher and educator whose mission is to rid the world of mediocre love. His passion is helping people DO the things that make their relationships extraordinary.
In 2012, Nate did a cross-country road trip where he interviewed the country’s most madly-in-love couples, and renowned relationship experts to discover the secrets of truly epic, lasting love.
Since then, he’s given a TEDx talk, and been published in Business Insider, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, the Gottman Institute blog, and many other outlets. He always loves hearing from his readers and listeners, so please feel free to reach out to him at his website here.
Insights:
Nate: Happiness is a byproduct of growth and roommate syndrome is a byproduct, not a bug. Roommate syndrome gives you the opportunity to grow up.
Dave: Foster the 3 pillars of friendship: I like you, I know you, I trust you.
Liz: Remember to focus on maximum joint enjoyment.
Invites:
- If you feel like you and your partner have roommate syndrome, try doing something out of your comfort zone today (ask a personal question, address a topic that makes you anxious, etc.).
- It’s the little things that get you out of roommate syndrome. Try making your partner a meal they wouldn’t expect (like breakfast or lunch), or sending them a sweet text while they’re away (even if not for very long).
- Try to make your marriage enjoyable for everyone. Is there something you grew up doing that your partner doesn’t particularly enjoy? Talk about it with them. What could you do to make things more enjoyable for them?
Nate Bagley Links:
-
https://growthmarriage.com/
-
https://www.epicmarriageclub.com/awr/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdaveschramm/
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz talk with Dr. John Van Epp who brings to light some of the most important things we can do when selecting a life partner as well as how to strengthen those relationships over time. We learn some of the predictors of how long-term relationships will turn out as well as some principles to help navigate both red and green flags within our relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is John Van Epp?
2:42 – Life-partner selection process
11:58 – Predictors of getting to “know” and getting to “no”
13:33 – Media love vs True love
16:10 – Let heart and head work together
20:00 – Discerning our partner is a process
26:16 – 5 ways to notice green flags and red flags
31:30 – With definition comes implementation
34:02 – Attraction alone is not enough
35:04 – Key areas to address stressors and struggles in dating
40:43 – Being equally yoked strengthens connection
42:32 – Have a game plan for managing your relationship
44:26 – John’s relationship resources
47:10 – John’s takeaway: heart and head are meant to work together
48:38 – Liz’s takeaway: Partner selection process is key
49:04 – Dave’s takeaway: Trust and commitment grow over time, RAM is a great resource
About John Van Epp:
John Van Epp, PhD, President and Founder of Love Thinks, LLC is the author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette) - top choice for singles by Christianity Today; Becoming Better Together: the RAM plan for growing together when life is pulling you apart; and Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith
and Family in America.
He has previous experience as
- a founding church pastor
- an adjunct seminary professor in marriage and family with extensive research in
premarital, marital, and family relations
- a clinical counselor for 25 years in his private counseling practice
- and for over 20 years, he has trained military personnel and contracted with the military as a subject matter expert (SME) in relationship health, psychology, religion, suicide, and resilience.
For the past 25 years, he has developed relationship programs that have been taught by over 35,000 certified instructors to over one million participants.
He was awarded the Smart Marriage and the NARME Impact Awards, and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, Psychology Today, O Magazine; he has appeared on the CBS Early Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, and Focus on the Family.
Insights:
John: With definition comes implementation. Your heart and your head are meant to work together in making decisions.
Dave: Trust and commitment grow over time.
Liz: There is very little you can do to compensate after marriage for choosing poorly before marriage.
Invites:
- After your next date, self-reflect and ask yourself: “Was there something I could have said or done to make my partner feel more seen?”
- Take a dating class to better help discern what kind of person you are dating and if they are someone you want to be with long-term.
- When getting to know someone, ask about or observe one of these 5 subjects: family, conscience (belief system), compatibility potential (what kinds of things do you agree on?), track record (dating/relationship history), and/or their skill level of relationships.
John Van Epp Links:
- https://www.mylovethinks.com/
- Dr. Morgan Cutlip Instagram
- https://ramseries.com/
- Healthy Relationships Utah
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.
Our podcast today is with our guest speaker Dr. Robert Navarra. He talks about addiction and how there is hope in recovering. An interesting talking point he mentions is that recovery should be done as a partnership. He provides some helpful insights for partners in dealing with the disease of addiction that can sweep into a relationship.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Robert Navarra?
2:44 – Fear and misunderstanding of addiction
5:42 – What’s the difference between codependency and interdependency?
9:34 – What partners of addicted individuals should know
11:03 – Addiction impacts the relationship not just the individual just like a disease
14:31 – Most common addictions
15:49 – Safe levels of drinking
18:50 – Rituals in relationships create connection
21:52 – Resources to help with creating rituals
23:39 – Understanding addictions and affairs
27:53 – Couple recovery resources
32:16 – Advice for partners of addicted individuals
35:15 – Responding to your partner in a way that feels good to create a stronger marriage connection
37:35 – The smallest unit of intimacy
38:12 – Robert’s takeaway: addiction is treatable and it is preventable
39:32 – Liz’s takeaway: be aware of “secondhand harm”
37:00 – Dave’s takeaway: there is hope; we’re in this together, let’s do this together.
About Robert Navarra:
Dr. Navarra has been a Certified Gottman Therapist since 2007 and is a Master Trainer, Consultant, and Researcher with the Gottman Institute. He has trained therapists nationally and internationally and is a popular presenter at conferences, webinars, podcasts, and in the media. He has co-authored book chapters with Drs. John and Julie Gottman on Gottman Method Couples Therapy, as well as co-authoring with Dr. John Gottman three articles on Gottman Therapy for the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy.
Dr. Navarra developed a relational model of addiction assessment and treatment and has been published in textbooks and in the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy on systemic approaches in addiction recovery. Dr. Navarra was also recorded presenting a workshop that he developed, Couples and Addiction
Recovery Training, for an online class offered by the Gottman Institute that requires therapists in the Gottman Certification track program to complete. The Gottmans also invited Dr. Navarra to present his model with them at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference. He is currently collaborating with the Gottmans on researching the effectiveness of a workshop for recovering couples that he designed called, Roadmap for the Journey: A Path for Couple Recovery. Additionally, he teaches addiction assessment and treatment in the Graduate Counseling Psychology Program at Santa Clara University in California
Insights:
Robert: If you want to reduce conflict in your marriage, then focus on the times when you’re not in conflict.
Dave: There is hope. We’re in this together, let’s do this together.
Liz: Be aware of “secondhand harm”.
Invites:
- To reduce conflict in your marriage, or in any relationship you may be struggling with, focus on the times when you aren’t in conflict. Focusing on the good reduces conflict.
- If there is problematic substance use in your relationship, go to a professional to figure out to what extent it is an issue and if there really is an addiction.
- The smallest unit of intimacy is responding to your partner in a way that feels good. When you respond to your partner, give them your attention to show them that you care for them.
Robert Navarra Links:
- Love Map Card decks
- https://Drrobertnavarra.com
- Free courses
- Workshops and Events
o June 10-11 workshop
o Oct 21 and 28 workshop
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dave and Liz talk with Dr. Matt Townsend on the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast today about how we can foster our basic needs in our relationships. Dr. Matt shares seven principles that we can use to increase our marriage connections: Safety, Trust, Appreciation, Respect, Validation, Encouragement, and
Dedication. By adhering to each of these principles our needs as well as our partner’s needs can be met in healthy ways.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Matt Townsend?
3:12 – What’s going on with marriages today?
4:50 – S.T.A.R.V.E.D: Safety
7:39 – T: Trust
9:02 – A: Appreciation
12:24 – R: Respect
14:20 – V: Validation
16:57 – E: Encouragement
20:33 – D: Dedication
23:00 – Matt’s keys for a stronger marriage connection
26:08 – Matt’s resources
27:40 – Matt’s takeaway: it’s not over ‘til it’s over and find the power in principles
29:49 – Liz’s takeaway: you have to be vulnerable to be known and loved
30:16 – Dave’s takeaway: To encourage is to truly see and understand another person
About Matt Townsend:
Over the last few decades Matt has dedicated his life to the study of communication and interpersonal relationships. Matt worked as a lead presenter for the industry leader, Franklin Covey, for many years. About 20 years ago he founded the Townsend Relationship Center where he has been able to share his expertise on relationships, communication, anxiety and conflict resolution with thousands of clients ranging from individuals, married couples and parents, to large corporations such as CNN, Cox Communications, and Lockheed Martin.
Dr. Matt earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in Communication, a second master's degree in Human Development, and a doctoral degree (PhD) in Human Development. He is a weekly contributor to KSL TV’s show “Studio 5 with Brooke Walker”. Matt's book, Starved Stuff: The 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships, is a popular pick among those searching for better relationship skills. He also has many online programs available on marriage, dealing with anxiety and parenting.
Matt is active in his church and community and enjoys swimming, playing tennis and spending time with his wife, Mardi of 32 years and his 6 children, 4 in-law children and 5 grandchildren.
Insights:
Matt: Count the given good.
Dave: Notice and be aware of the good your partner does.
Liz: Barbie dolls must be as important as the little girl is in order to really make her feel that we are encouraging her.
Invites:
- Encourage your partner’s dreams and aspirations.
- If simply feeding your marriage is still not “filling you up”, get help so you don’t continue feeling starved.
- While you might not be able to find power in power, you can find power in principles. Find ways to foster the S.T.A.R.V.E.D. principles in your marriage.
Matt Townsend Links:
Starved Stuff: Feeding the 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships
https://Matttownsend.com
10 day marriage makeover
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s podcast of Stronger Marriage Connection, Dave and Liz talk to Dr. Cole Ratcliffe about how we often get stuck in bad behaviors in our marriage relationships. Dr. Ratcliffe explains five steps that help eliminate bad behavior and provides some tips that might help increase connection in a sustainable way. Showing our partners we love them takes time and effort, but is incredibly worth it!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Cole Ratcliffe?
2:29 – Why are annoying and bad behaviors so common?
4:42 – “Helping” is not always helpful
7:10 – Why we get stuck in bad behavior
10:48 – Marriage is the great revealer of weaknesses
14:54 – There is no justification for bad behavior
17:15 – Take personal responsibility for our needs
19:25 – Recognize your partner’s needs
20:32 – 5 Steps to help eliminate bad behavior
25:10 – Simple things to do to improve connection
26:40 – How to say I love you in a personal way
28:44 – Patience is the 5th step
29:40 – Investment in unselfishness is the key for a stronger marriage connection
31:12 – Resources from Cole Ratcliffe
31:59 – Cole’s takeaway: taking time to understand gives us traction for meeting our partners emotions and
needs
32:39 – Liz’s takeaway: turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies
33:11 – Dave’s takeaway: don’t react to the behavior, respond to the need
About Cole Ratcliffe:
Cole Ratcliffe was raised in Springville, Utah, and completed a bachelor’s degree at BYU. He obtained a masters and doctoral degree in marriage and family therapy from Kansas State University. Currently, he teaches full-time at BYU-Idaho in Marriage and Family Studies and oversees their online program. He has
taught numerous courses in his career, such as human development, marriage, marriage prep, marriage skills, parenting, and relationship education. Dr. Ratcliffe maintains a small private clinical practice where he conducts individual, marriage, and family therapy, including discernment counseling. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Jenna and together they have 5 (almost 6) children. In his spare time, he enjoys spending time with his family, hiking, hunting, playing sports, and watching college football.
Insights:
Cole: Take personal responsibility for having our needs met.
Dave: Don’t react to the behavior. See the unmet needs.
Liz: We need to turn around the meaning of “but” in our apologies.
Invites:
- Focus on the things you can control.
- Respond to the need underneath the behavior.
- Identify the things you need to stop doing. Apologize with the proper use of the word “but”.
- Find a few small and simple things to increase connection that are sustainable.
- Be patient with yourself and with others.
Cole Ratcliffe Links:
- https://www.Byuido.org
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Our conversation today is with Dr. Jeremy Boden who talks about the importance realistic and hopeful expectation have in creating a stronger marriage connection. By committing to our partner and being aware of their needs, we can build our relationships in such a way that helps them last beyond the newlywed years.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Jeremy Boden?
1:56 – Why would we need relationship education when we love each other so much?
4:59 – Marriage is a loss of some expectations
7:00 – Biggest issues newlyweds face
9:26 – Intentionality is key to avoid “drifting”
11:04 – Adjust expectations
15:40 – Expectations will be adjusted throughout our lives
16:43 – What does commitment look like?
21:55 – Over-reactions can wreck our connections
23:15 – S.T.O.P. technique
24:40 – Resources for newlyweds
26:35 – Keys to a stronger marriage connection – Safe, Seen, and Soothed
29:12 – How to prepare for and navigate the newlywed years
30:38 – How to choose a marriage partner
32:38 – Jeremy’s takeaway: be aware of your partner
33:58 – Liz’s takeaway: there is always hope
35:13 – Dave’s takeaway: exercise mindful awareness
About Jeremy Boden:
Dr. Jeremy Boden is an associate professor of family science at Utah Valley University. He teaches courses in marriage and relationships, human sexuality, family dynamics, and couples therapy in the marriage and family therapy program. Jeremy is a licensed marriage and family therapist and maintains a small private practice in
Provo, Utah where he specializes in couples and discernment counseling. He's also the owner and director of the Center for Marriage Preparation which helps couples get ready for marriage through his Before We Say I Do program. Jeremy is married to his beautiful and wonderful wife, Daria and they are the parents of four children.
Insights:
Jeremy: Help foster a stronger connection with your partner by helping them feel safe, seen, and soothed.
Dave: Compassion is the blood of relationships.
Liz: Expectations for your relationship will always need to be adjusted throughout your life.
Invites:
• For the first 5 years of your marriage, commit to reading one marriage book with your partner per year.
• Connect once a day and date once a week with your partner.
• Talk with your partner about what expectations might be in your wagon
Jeremy Boden Links:
-
https://marriageandfamilysolutions.teachable.com/
-
https://www.symbis.com/couples/
-
https://extension.usu.edu/strongermarriage/relate-assessment
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz have a great conversation with Dr. Alex Korb talking about the little things we can do to create a stronger marriage connection. Happiness hacks start with us which then can translate into strengthening our relationships through understanding our own and other’s perceptions.
Timestamps
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Alex Korb?
2:25 – What makes the Upward Spiral unique?
7:45 – The healthy “we” starts with the healthy “me”
9:10 – Our brains are wired to notice the negative and ignore consistency
12:48 – Practicing gratitude; direct your attention to what you can acknowledge is good
14:47 – Understanding depression and anxiety
15:57 – Acknowledge that you have a perspective
18:09 – Depression and anxiety are common; there is nothing broken or wrong with your brain
20:53 – Why do we get stuck in bad habits so easily?
24:29 – Focus on the little small tweaks for your body that create an upward spiral
30:28 – Gratitude is something you can do on your own to improve your relationships
34:16 – Breaking negative patterns activates reward circuits
37:12 – Expressing gratitude does not have an expiration date
39:22 – When to reach out to a medical professional
42:09 – Any step is better than being stuck
43:21 – Everyone’s perspectives are different
46:20 – Alex’s takeaway: when things are feeling really bad, realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem
48:33 – Liz’s takeaway: why the why
48:53 – Dave’s takeaway: Doing small things breaks up relationship ruts
About Alex Korb
Dr. Alex Korb is a neuroscientist, coach, and bestselling author of The Upward Spiral. He is the founder of The Upward Spiral Method where he helps smart, passionate professionals conquer unnecessary overthinking, stress, and self-doubt to unleash the brain's potential for passion, productivity, and purpose. Dr. Korb has a wealth of experience in yoga and mindfulness, physical fitness, and even stand-up comedy.
Insights
Alex: All we need to do is one small step. It doesn’t have to fix everything, it just has to be better than the default of the downward spiral your brain wants to go in.
Dave: A little small win can help create an upward spiral for our relationships.
Liz: Understanding why something is good for me rather than being told what to do gets my attention
Invites:
• To get out of a mental rut, take a little step to break out of your brain’s default of negative habits. Try going for a walk, stepping outside in the sun, or even standing up for a few seconds.
• Expressing gratitude and kindness is something in your control. Write down a few things you may take for granted but are grateful for nonetheless. Doing so tells your brain to focus more on the good rather on the negative.
• You can’t always control your feelings, but you can control your actions. Take action by saying thank you to someone that influenced you in some way, even if it was a few days, weeks, or years ago. Gratitude does not have an expiration date. In fact, it tends to have even greater weight and mean more to the receiver over time.
Alex Korb Links
https://www.facebook.com/alexkorb
https://www.instagram.com/alexkorbphd/
https://alexkorbphd.com/
https://alexkorbphd.click/guide
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit down with Dr. Terri Orbuch who is also known as the love doctor and discuss taking your marriage from good to great. From communication to frustration to positivity and managing money, Terri breaks things down into practical principles that anyone can apply.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Terri Orbuch?
2:49 – Terri’s research
4:32 – 46% of married couples divorce
5:15 – The positive and optimistic statistic of 71% of divorced couples
7:52 – Affirmations in marriage
9:54 – The biggest reason relationships don’t work is frustration
11:05 – Conflict, disagreements and differences are inevitable
12:34 – We need to make sure we have realistic expectations
14:38 – What is more important to husbands than wives?
16:03 – We need to feel like we are part of a team
18:44 – The 10-minute rule that partners need to practice
21:43 – Excitement and passion declining is inevitable in all relationships
23:15 – Do something new and novel with your partner
25:26 – Three strategies to increase passion and excitement in your relationship
26:37 – It is ok to take a break when you are irritated
28:37 – Keep each issue or specific annoyance separate
30:31 – The number one source of tension or conflict among couples is money
33:00 – Happy couples focus on what’s going well, and focus on the positive
35:21 – Resources
37:22 – Takeaways
About Terri Orbuch:
Dr. Terri Orbuch is a world-renowned relationship expert, author, speaker, therapist,
distinguished professor at Oakland University, research scientist at University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and media personality whose practical science bad advice had helped 1000’s of people find and create the loving relationships they deserve. She is also the director of a landmark study funded by the National Institutes of Health, where she has been following the same couples for over three decades.
Insights:
Terri: It is all about the little things, waking up and giving affirmations or actions of affirmations. Spending 10 minutes every single day taking about something other than those four topics.
Dave: The little affirmations and things are powerful.
Liz: Take one issue at a time, your brain gets overloaded and overwhelmed if you try to do too much at once.
Invites:
- Take on one issue at a time within your relationship
- It’s all in the little things, spread daily affirmations to your partner
- Practice the 10-minute rule with your partner each day
Terri Orbuch Links:
https://drterrithelovedoctor.com
https://www.facebook.com/DrTerriLoveDr/
https://twitter.com/drterrilovedr?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/terriorbuch/?hl=en
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
down with Chad Ford, author of the book Dangerous Love, to discuss some tips and tools about how we can change the conflict patterns within our relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Chad Ford?
2:50 – What is dangerous love?
4:57 – Dangerous love demands fearlessness; choosing love over fear
6:16 – Fearlessness is being vulnerable without guarantee that your partner will be too
8:49 – Nothing about conflict will change until we change
11:10 – “Us-preservation” instead of self-preservation
14:52 – You don’t have to agree to come up with a solution that works for the both of you
17:15 – Dangerous love is meeting people where they’re at & finding a way forward together
19:06 – Conflict doesn't happen to us; we’re part of a pattern in conflict
21:25 – Conflict doesn’t have to be destructive; great relationships include conflict
23:06 – Change without guarantee that your partner is going to change
25:58 – Turn to see your partner because it’s the right thing to do
27:50 – If I were to give my whole heart to my partner, what would it occur to me to do?
29:04 – Fear is what keep us from giving our whole hearts
32:32 – Fairness and connectedness are not the same thing
33:58 – In a great marriage is harmony; you can’t harmonize with yourself
35:44 – Chad’s takeaway: conflict isn’t impossible, there's always something you can do
36:24 – Liz’s takeaway: we need each other in growing and developing and embracing conflict
37:00 – Dave’s takeaway: slowing down to see things from their perspective creates
vulnerability, compassion, and this new awareness.
About Chad Ford:
Chad Ford has been living five lives simultaneously for nearly 20 years. He’s been an
international conflict mediator, a college professor, a senior consultant and facilitator for the Arbinger Institute, an executive board member for PeacePlayers and a writer, analyst and entrepreneur covering the NBA and NBA Draft for ESPN. After completing a Master’s degree in conflict analysis and resolution from George Mason University and a Juris Doctorate from Georgetown University Law School in 2000, Chad was poised to begin his career as a conflict mediator and facilitator. At BYU-Hawaii, Chad created a major and certificate program in intercultural peacebuilding, mediation and facilitation. Chad and his wife Amanda, who teaches courses in family conflict transformation and mindfulness, have worked with thousands of students from over 90 countries in the world. Chad’s work has earned him Professor of the Year honors at BYU-Hawaii and made Intercultural Peacebuilding one of the most popular programs on campus.
Insights:
Chad: If I want something to change, it starts with me.
Dave: Heed and answer to that inner call to connect.
Liz: Marriage is the ultimate self improvement project.
Invites:
● Instead of waiting for your partner to change, recognize the part you play in conflict and seek to change it without any guarantee that your partner will do the same. You may
find that your partner’s response to your change is exactly what you hoped.
● Examine whether there is contempt in your relationship. If you “horibilize” your partner by objectifying them and only seeing their faults and their weaknesses, you might be guilty of contempt.
● As yourself, “ If I were to give my whole heart to my partner, what would it occur to me to do?”. Be still and then heed that inner call to connect.
Chad Ford Links:
-
https://dangerouslovebook.com/
-
https://dangerouslovebook.com/dangerous-love-podcast/
-
https://dangerouslovebook.com/conflict-styles-assessment/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today’s conversation is one you don’t want to miss! Listen in to the Stronger
Marriage Connection as Dave and Liz sit down with Dr. Jacob Hess, a master of mindfulness, to discuss the realities of love and romance & what is hijacking relationships today.
TimeStamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Jacob Hess?
2:36 – What is hijacking relationships & causing couples to drift apart?
4:52 – The narratives of romance - how things are “supposed” to be
6:56 – What is the reality of romance?
9:30 – People look to their romantic partner to somehow meet all of their needs
11:26 – Allow your relationships to be human and allow your partner to be a human being
14:27 – See your partner as they are, rather than how they’re supposed to be
16:46 – The relationship hijack of self-absorption
18:46 – Whole soul romance: when someone loves your mind & heart, not just how they feel
around you
20:46 – Micro moments of love
22:31 – Small things over time create a new kind of momentum for the relationship to grow
24:25 – Honing the ability to show love generally, but especially to our partner
26:56 – Infatuation & fireworks draw people together, committed & enduring love keeps them
together
29:31 – The difference between loving a person and loving a particular idea about love
31:07 – Follow the peace, not the passion
33:17 – Every marriage has waves, learn to surf them instead of fight them
34:25 – Jacob’s takeaway of the day: Instead of constantly forcing a story on everybody around,
let each moment with somebody be new. Let people breathe.
35:16 – Liz’s takeaway: Tranquil affection - loving with great warmth & affection
35:50 – Dave’s takeaway: Take something ordinary in your relationship and make it extra
ordinary
About Jacob Hess:
Jacob Hess is the author of 14 peer-reviewed studies on competing narratives of difficult health and social issues, as well as a book on what’s hijacking romance, “Once Upon a Time...He Wasn’t Feeling It Anymore, and two others: “The Power of Stillness: Mindful Living for Latter-Day Saints” with Carrie Skarda, Kyle Anderson and Ty Mansfield. And with his Marxist-Atheist friend Phil Neisser, Dean of the State University of New York, “You’re Not as Crazy as I Thought, But You’re Still Wrong.” Jacob is a former board member of the National Coalition of Dialogue & Deliberation, and writes for Deseret News and Public Square Magazine about making space for thoughtful, good-hearted people to find understanding (and affection) while exploring together the deepest of disagreements. Jacob has taught Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and helped create online mindfulness-based recovery programs for depression/anxiety (Lift) and sexual compulsivity (Fortify) that have reached 200K in 155 countries. He is currently working with Impact Suite on a mental health fitbit and with The Council for Sustainable Healing on ways to encourage families to build a healing sanctuary at home to counteract depression and anxiety. Jacob is a happy father of five, partner of one amazing gal – and mediocre goatherd.
Insights:
Jacob: There's something about being in the presence of someone who you feel, not only their full attention, but you feel held in their affection too.
Dave: There are little micro moments in life and in our marriages that we can't let pass by.
Liz: We have to understand love. We must know what love is in order to receive it and give it.
Invites:
● How you greet your spouse matters. Make your partner feel special by conveying your excitement at seeing them when they come home after a long day at work or after being apart for a few days. This will surprise your partner and make them feel loved.
● Examine what narratives of romance you consciously or unconsciously expect from your relationship. Try asking yourself some of these hard questions and answer honestly.
What do you really want to love? Has this story of romance seduced you so far that
you're willing to toss this person aside as some barrier on your pathway to your grand
fulfillment? Or could it be that the very person in front of you, this human being that has
their own challenges, could be the pathway to deeper love?
● Take the ordinary things in your relationships and make them extraordinary. Do this by giving your partner an impromptu five second hug or leaving them a note saying how
much you appreciate them. Even the mundane parts of life can be turned into moments
of connection.
Dr. Jacob Hess Links:
- unthinkable.cc
- https://www.deseret.com/authors/jacob-hess
- https://publicsquaremag.org/author/jhess/
- https://www.joinfortify.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode, Dave and Liz are joined by Clay and Sonja Arnold, relational
coaches and communication experts, to discuss safe conversations - what they are and how couples can use them to decrease negativity and foster more connection in their relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who are Sonja & Clay Arnold?
2:23 – What exactly is a safe conversation & how did it get started?
4:56 – Sentence Stems - phrases used to keep us from triggering negative responses
6:09 – “Is there more about that?”
8:28 – Make an appointment to talk with your partner first; ask “is now a good time to talk
about [blank]”
11:03 – Why is effectively listening to our partner so difficult to do?
14:04 – Couples should strive for zero negativity in their conversations
16:25 – Owning your mistakes & making repairs quickly
19:05 – Address the negativity in your relationship; don’t ignore it because it’ll just stack up
22:33 – Imago Therapy - what it is & how it affects who we choose to marry
24:56 – If our spouse grows, we grow
26:48 – Conflict is growth waiting to happen
29:01 – Don’t ever stop having fun with your partner
31:37 – Empathy is about trying to connect with your partner & find out what they’re feeling
33:26 – Always be willing to learn
35:15 – Sonja’s takeaway: Don’t feel like you're lacking because of your struggles. Don’t struggle
by yourself. Reach out. Don’t go it alone.
35:39 – Clay’s takeaway: Be willing to learn and grow individually and in your relationship36:10 – Liz’s takeaway: Ask your partner if it’s a good time to talk about something and then
start with a compliment
36:50 – Dave’s takeaway: Own your bad - your behavior, your attitude, and your drama
About Sonja & Clay Arnold:
Relational coaches for 22 years, Sonja and Clay have worked with individuals, families and couples around the world. Theirs is an integrative, neuroscience-based approach for life planning and inter-personal growth for relationships of all kinds. They offer workshops and consultations with clients including business and religious leaders, coaches and therapists, medical professionals and more - the strategy being that by providing skills to one person, a ripple effect will occur as people practice the skills in their work lives, congregations, families and communities. Sonja and Clay have been married for 43 years and have 4 grown children and 5 grandkids. They live with their grand dogs in Arlington, Texas.
Certifications include: Safe Conversations® Senior Trainers, Life Coaching Institute Senior Trainers, Tony Robbins Mastery University graduates, Amen Clinics Brain Health and the Well Life Coaching Certification. Sonja graduated with a degree in Education/Deaf Education and Clay in Communications/Pastoral Counseling.
Insights:
Sonja: Conflict is growth waiting to happen.
Clay: We have to feel safe enough to connect in order to really communicate.
Dave: You don't necessarily avoid conflict but you bring things up and handle them in
compassionate ways. Watch your temper, your tongue, and your tone.
Liz: Some things we experience in marriage are really painful and I wish we could X them out. But perhaps then, we'd missed the magic and the meaning and the growth.
Invites:
● Before starting an important conversation with your partner, ask if it’s a good time first. You could say, “is now a good time to talk about [blank]?”. If they say it’s not a good
time, schedule another time in the near future to have that conversation when he or she
is ready.
● Create a code word to use when things start to get negative in a conversation between you and your partner. Clay and Sonja Arnold use the word “marshmallow” to signal when either of them is feeling triggered and something needs to change. Talk with your partner about a phrase that could work for you.
● Don’t forget to have fun with your partner. Keep dating them long after you’re married. This nurtures the space between you and creates more enjoyment in your life together.
Sonja & Clay Arnold Links:
https://www.heartlifecoachingdfw.com/
https://safeconversations.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen in as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz invite back to the show Geoff Steurer, specialist on
betrayal trauma, to talk about how couples can bounce back and move forward after trust is broken in the relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing betrayal trauma, this is an episode you don’t want to miss!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Geoff Steurer?
3:00 – What is betrayal trauma?
5:35 – Most people initially stay with their partner after being betrayed
7:49 – Quick trust does not exist, you can’t quickly trust somebody
9:56 – Both the hurt partner and the betrayer are on their own paths of recovery
11:26 – The marriage goes through a recovery process too
13:55 – Tearing yourself down does not help you & it doesn’t help who you’ve hurt
15:58 – Recovery means being willing to talk about the betrayal
17:00 – People can change; there is healing on the other side of betrayal trauma
20:15 – Coming clean versus being found out - how it affects the recovery process
22:13 – There are no quick fixes when it comes to betrayal & emotion & connection
24:50 – Engage in healing; you'll feel better eventually doing the healing work
26:48 – What is the role of parents whose adult child is experiencing betrayal trauma?
29:19 – A message to those who are on the edge of betraying their partner
31:06 – Let’s not be afraid to talk about attraction and chemistry
33:16 – Make sure there's not enough space between you and your partner for someone else
36:21 – Geoff’s takeaway: there's nothing, in terms of your emotions and experiences and feelings and needs, that your marriage can't handle
37:09 – Liz’s takeaway: People have the tools, talents, resources, and abilities to handle
something as excruciatingly painful as betrayal
37:39 – Dave’s takeaway: Be very mindful and intentional in your relationship
Insights:
Dave: When both partners are committed to doing the work, it brings hope into the relationship
Liz: Good people make mistakes, good people betray
Geoff: The structure and institution of marriage is sturdy and stable and it’s big enough to hold all of our fears, worries, insecurities, temptations and struggles
Invites:
● If you find yourself flirting or looking forward to interacting with someone of the
opposite sex, get honest with yourself and your partner about it. Don’t be afraid to talk
about attraction.
● Keep it a little awkward with people you could be attracted to. Keep that distance there and don’t build so much familiarity.
● If someone you love is going through betrayal trauma, get educated and understand the process. Learn how to keep your own emotional balance and know what to say/what not to say. “You don't want to become a piece of debris in somebody else's tornado”.
About Geoff Steurer:
Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild their
relationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individuals
affected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressful
marriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his work will pay off in their own lives. Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography and sexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, and family therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "Trust Building Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of a weekly online Q&A column.
Geoff Steurer Links:
Geoff's Website
Couples Counseling
Geoff Steurer Podcast
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dave and Liz sit down with
Taylor and Megan Kovar, also known as the money couple, to share the strategies and resources they offer couples in handling money in marriage. Listen in to find out what you can do to avoid financial infidelity and create financial freedom today!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who are Taylor & Megan Kovar?
2:15 – How they became “the money couple”
4:55 – The challenge they faced year two of marriage & how they moved forward
6:40 – What are some examples of financial infidelity?
8:21 – How Taylor & Megan describe financial freedom
10:00 – Where should a couple start on their journey toward financial freedom?
12:20 – First step - take the free money personality assessment on their website
14:08 – The five money personalities: how we think & feel about money and life
16:54 – Where do our money personalities come from?
18:24 – What if you & your partner have opposite money personalities?
21:10 – The money personality assessment for kids
23:12 – Why Taylor & Megan don’t pay their children for doing typical chores
25:55 – What are the next steps for a couple struggling with financial infidelity?
27:23 – Get educated! Start at themoneycouple.com
29:46 – Everything ties back to communication
31:39 – Everyday is a choice; wake up and choose to have a stronger marriage
33:35 – Comparison is the thief of joy
35:00 – Megan Kovar’s takeaway: if you want it to get better, it can get better
35:26 – Taylor Kovar’s takeaway: What is your marriage worth? Live by that
36:10 – Liz’s takeaway: Is financial infidelity worth the hurt and loss of intimacy?
37:07 – Dave’s takeaway: Try to understand what money means to your partner; see things from their perspective
About Taylor & Megan Kovar:
The Kovar's have been branded as the Money Couple since 2020 after realizing one of the biggest woes couples were having involved money management. With professional money management skills, the Kovars provide resources on budgeting groceries, birthday parties, all the way to retirement. In the past three years, the Kovars have developed awesome pages and platforms: 5 Money Personalities, Financial Infidelity, The Millionaire Marriage Podcast, The Money Couple blog and many other couples’ courses. Through trial and error, the Kovars have developed the right ways to achieve financial freedom, putting family first and enjoying life.
Insights:
Taylor: It takes work and some education, but I think no matter what your income level, you can achieve some of that peace that comes with financial freedom.
Megan: One of the things you need to know about yourself is your money personality, because you just don't realize how that affects so many different aspects of your personality as a whole.
Dave: Just because we have money differences, doesn't mean that we can't make it work. It's about understanding, having compassion, simple awareness and trying to see things from our partner/spouses perspective.
Liz: Is financial infidelity worth the loss and hurt of intimacy?
Invites:
● Make your finances a priority. Pick a time with your spouse to sit down and discuss your finances. Stick it on the calendar and then stick to it.
● Get educated! Discover your money personality by taking the free assessment and then ask your partner to take it as well. Take another assessment to find out if there's
financial infidelity in your relationship and at what level.
● Seek out good mentors, people that are going to speak truth into your life. Don’t just surround yourself with “yes men”. Sometimes we don’t see what we need to work on.
Taylor & Megan Kovar Links:
https://themoneycouple.com/
https://themoneycouple.com/5-money-personalities/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnABbQSwTxWyKevoRJnOfgg
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit
down with author and expert on blended families, Ron L. Deal, to bring you the leading research, tips and tools about how to create successful step family relationships. If you are navigating remarriage and/or blending a family unit, join the conversation and learn what may help you on your journey!
Timestamps:
0:00 - Who is Ron Deal?
2:35 – How common are step families and step relationships in the US today?
4:15 – A new phenomenon: first time married couples forming blended families
6:57 – Unique difficulties that step families often experience
8:44 – When parenting struggles negatively affect the marital relationship
10:07 – The Fear Factor - how it plants seeds of guardedness and negativity
13:04 – Self mastery & controlling our negative emotions
16:55 – What separates unhappy remarriages from happy remarriages?
18:20 – The different ways jealousy comes up in blended families
20:24 – “Choose the pain” to understand what is going on with you
22:02 – Dating is not very predictive of the realities of remarriage & step families
24:01 – What is the focus of Ron Deal’s book Smart Stepfamily Marriage: Keys to Success in Blended Families?
26:00 – Your remarriage is the first and last motivator for your family to become a family
29:14 – Step parents - allow the child to dictate the pace at which they open up you
31:38 – The biggest mistake a parent can make when he or she is dating
33:00 – You can’t become a mature partner, parent or friend without humility
36:31 – Ron Deal’s takeaway: the journey of being a blended family may not be what you expected or hoped, but it is not without promise
38:04 – Liz’s takeaway: persistence! Step families have a higher divorce rate because of the difficulties, so it takes persistence
38:48 – Dave’s takeaway: don’t let parenting struggles become struggles for the couple relationship
About Ron Deal:
Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is the director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and consulting editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular
conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at FamilyLife.com/blended.
Insights:
Ron: Humble people who can make changes over time will deepen trust and intimacy in their relationship.
Dave: The process of family blending takes patience and time and understanding and love and kindness. Like an extra double dose of all of that.
Liz: All couples have struggles, but remarriages and stepfamilies have some unique struggles and challenges.
Invites:
● If you are a dating parent, engage your kids in "what if" conversations. You could ask, “what if dad started dating again?” or “this guy has kids of his own, how would you feel if mom were to date him?”. This will help you make better decisions about when and where to introduce your kids to the person you’re dating.
● Practice chasing the pain, as Ron Deal mentioned. Next time you are triggered by something your partner does, ask yourself “what is this telling me?” or “what is going on inside me and is there a better way for me to handle this feeling than I have in the past?”. Don't let the past invade your present.
● Visit smartstepfamilies.com to discover more resources about step families and remarriage. Then share the website and what you learned with people you know who are in stepfamily relationships and would benefit from Ron Deal’s work.
Ron Deal Links:
- https://familylifeblended.com/blended
- https://smartstepfamilies.com
- https://rondeal.org
- https://www.facebook.com/familylifeblended
- https://www.instagram.com/familylifeblended/
- https://www.youtube.com/@FamilyLifeBlended
- https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-blended-podcast/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join ourn host Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale as they discuss how to embrace regret and learn from the past.
Timestamps:
0:00 – What is regret?
1:32 – Regret indicating a life well lived
3:59 – How do I cope with regrets?
5:48 – Focusing on the positive instead of the negative
8:00 – Three responses to regret
10:00 – The best way to deal with emotion: Motion
10:47 – Establishing self-compassion
13:00 – Finding the “at least” in life
14:32 – World regret survey: Acknowledging regrets
16:37 – Four core regrets:
17:00 – Foundation regrets
17:55 – Boldness regrets
19:23 – Moral regrets
21:25 – Connection regrets
24:10 – Managing the line between infidelity and friendship with people we are attracted to outside of our marriage.
27:15 – Reimagining regrets in the couple relationship
29:05 – Setting realistic expectations in our relationships
32:24 – Turning regrets into reminders of who we can be
Insights:
Do not let regrets bog us down. They can be a reminder into who we are becoming and how we are learning and growing in our relationships. Living a life filled with shame and guilt is not a productive way to live, but by acknowledging and seeking understanding of your regrets you can develop a greater feeling of peace and happiness in your marriage.
Invites:
● Sit down with your partner and have a conversation about regrets. See what your
partner regrets and share what you may regret.
● Practice identifying your regrets as a foundation, boldness, moral or connection regret in your journal.
● Visit the world regret survey and see what regrets people in your area are experiencing. Find peace and connection through seeing the regrets that others around you may have. Recognize that you are not alone in your regrets.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz Take a deep dive into the topic of unconditional love in marriage with Dr. Greg Baer. Greg shares principles and insights about real love, how it can transform your marriage and parenting. Giving 5 steps to real love.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Who is Dr. Greg Baer?
2:59 – What is unconditional love?
4:40 – Conditional love vs unconditional love
6:49 – The ultimate emotional assault – anger
9:15 – What stops us from making behavioral changes?
11:27 – Five steps to help eliminate anger in your marriage.
15:31 – We need to practice telling the truth about ourselves.
17:30 – We are all starving for unconditional love.
18:49 – When we are in pain, we will use anything to survive.
19:54 – Find the right person to love you.
23:59 – The power of unconditional love in parenting.
25:20 – Expectations in your marriage
29:49 – The pain of not feeling loved
35:48 – Key element of a stronger marriage
37:41 – Takeaways
About Greg Baer:
For 20 years, Greg Baer was a successful surgeon, teacher, civic leader, and entrepreneur. Despite all these things, Greg didn’t feel happy. In his search for happiness, he learned principles that has changed the lives of thousands. Dr. Baer retired from one of the busiest solo eye surgery practices in the U.S. and began a new career of writing, teaching, and speaking. He has written 18 books about relationships, marriage and parenting and produced all kinds of other trainings.
Insights:
Dr. Greg Baer: Unconditional love, or what I call real love is the key element to a stronger
marriage connection.
Dr. Dave: Choose to be a first responder or a nuclear reactor when we feel stress within our relationships.
Dr. Liz: It’s all about pain, pain makes us insane, it makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do
when we are filled with love
Invites:
• Don’t be satisfied with your marriage being just “Okay”
• Go through the five steps of achieving unconditional love
• Practice telling the truth about yourself before expecting the truth from others
Greg Baer Links:
http://reallove.com/
http://realloveparents.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregbaermd
Books:
Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulling Relationships
https://a.co/d/5xokhrq
Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now & Forever
https://a.co/d/66KHqi8
Real Love in Parenting: Nine Simple & Powerful Effective Principles for Raising Happy & Responsible Children: https://a.co/d/eStaD2b
Real Love Companion: Taking Steps Toward a Loving & Happy Life
https://a.co/d/jdOJS5E
Real Love in Dating: The truth About Finding The Perfect Partner
https://a.co/d/1SNpX7w
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz today in talking about sexual intimacy within your
relationship, where they welcome on special guest Dan Purcell. Dan talks with us about the importance of keeping our relationships close and connected. Sharing some great tips to help couples navigate this important topic and offering some excellent resources for you to learn more.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Who is Dan Purcell?
1:45 – How Dan got into strengthening relationships.
6:51 – Discovering healthy sources for sexual intimacy in marriage.
10:31 – we are not without our struggles – we must overcome them.
13:15 – Cosmo Magazine Approach
16:48 – Slow it down – enjoy the journey.
18:40 – There are different levels of sexual intimacy.
20:00 – Share your heart!
22:09 – Try new things.
24:13 – It is ok to schedule sex for busy couples.
27:22 – Don’t have sex feel like a duty.
30:42 – App – Intimately Us.
34:25 – Takeaways
About:
Dan and his wife Emily Purcell are the founders of Get Your Marriage On! Their marriage went through a bit of a renaissance a few years ago and wanted to share what they learned with other couples. They created a fun & sexy bedroom game app called Intimately Us that has been downloaded over 300,000 times. They put on events and retreats for couples. Dan is the host of the Get Your Marriage On! podcast. Dan also coaches others on marriage & intimacy.
Dan and Emily have been married for over 19 years and have 6 kids. Dan loves cracking dad jokes, running marathons, planning the next creative date night with his sweetheart, and enjoys the magnificent outdoors around their St George home.
Insights:
Dan: Make your spouse number one, investing in our relationships will bring us the biggest return on happiness.
Dave: Taking a deeper approach that is more intimate and can be so powerful, rather than superficial.
Liz: What can I do today to make my spouses life more worth living?
Invites:
• Slow things down – take time to work on intimacy with your significant other, things
wont just come naturally, they will take time and effort.
• Download the app, “Intimately Us” and follow @getyourmarriageon on Instagram.
• Make your spouse your number one, investigate your relationship and find what makes
you both the happiest.
Dan Purcell Links:
https://getyourmarriageon.libsyn.com
https://www.instagram.com/getyourmarriageon/?hl=en
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join the conversation today as Dave and Liz invite doctors Don and Carrie Cole,
founders of the Center for Relationship Wellness, onto the stronger marriage connection
podcast to bring you some amazing tools and strategies for creating more connection in your relationship. Don and Carrie’s work is backed by years of scientific research with John and Julie Gottman, so you won’t want to miss out on today’s episode!
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John & Julie Gottman
Timestamps:
0:50 – Who are doctors Don and Carrie Cole?
3:37 – Don and Carrie’s roles at the Gottman Institute
5:03 – Some couples struggle with some problems in their relationship at some point. Why?
6:56 – Marathon therapy; how it works and how it helps
8:54 – How COVID has changed the way therapy is done
10:47 – How Don and Carrie work together with couples
12:51 – Why it’s harder for men to connect with therapists
15:33 – How the Gottman method is validating for men in therapy
16:45 – Stress reducing conversations; an idea born out of research
19:05 – Don & Carrie role play good and bad stress reducing conversations
21:43 – Avoiding the “two don’ts” - don’t problem solve and don’t side with the enemy
24:19 – Creating more rituals of connection
26:10 – Couples are turning away from each other and towards their phones
28:09 – Turning toward moments may be small but they do add up
30:54 – When things aren't feeling right, you have to fix it
32:40 – A gentle startup makes all the difference
35:38 – Couples who are connected to each other have a lot of rituals that they really enjoy doing together
37:56 – Finding out what is at the heart of the issue
39:00 – “You don’t have to change to satisfy me” - honoring your spouse40:00 – Don & Carrie’s takeaway: be openly curious and proactive with your partner
41:17 – Dave & Liz takeaway: doing small things often to keep the connection strong
About Dr. Don & Carrie Cole:
Dr. Carrie Cole is the Director of Research for The Gottman Institute and manages the
Gottman Love Lab. She holds a Ph.D. in psychological research and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She is a licensed professional counselor and an approved LPC supervisor in the State of Texas, a licensed mental health counselor in the State of Washington, and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Carrie is a Master Trainer for The Gottman Institute and trains therapists in Gottman Method Couples Therapy around the world. She is a consultant for the certification program and has led The Art and Science of Love weekend workshop for couples multiple times a year since 2008. Carrie has also published peer-reviewed journal articles independently and with doctors John and Julie Gottman. Her work with couples includes couples therapy, workshops, seminars, and intensive marathon sessions. Carrie and her husband, Dr. Don Cole reside in Seattle, WA.
Insights:Don: Things can't just fix themselves. You have to repair things. When things aren't feeling right, you have to fix it.
Carrie: Couples who are connected to each other have a lot of rituals that they really enjoy doing together.
Liz: The beauty of these tools is that they bring us such hope. Across the board. No matter where we are in our marriage.
Dave: Lack of attention leads to loss of connection.
Invites:
● Create meaningful rituals of connection. Set a time each day that works for you and your partner where you can talk about how you’re doing as a couple.
● Next time you need to bring up an issue to your partner, use a softened startup. Talk about how you feel, what happened (without using “you”), and state what you need inpositive terms. Write it out if you have to. How a conversation starts is likely how it’s
going to end.
● Have a stress reducing conversation with your partner. If your spouse expresses an emotional experience, try not to problem solve or side with the enemy. Ask good
questions. Show compassion, empathy, and validation.
Dr. Don & Carrie Cole Links:
- Centerforrelationshipwellness.com
- carrie@gottman.com
- don@gottman.com
- gottman.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection podcast, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz
discuss some of the top tips they call “Happy Hacks” that help us flourish as individuals and
bring more happiness into our relationships. Strong marriages are built on the virtues and
character strengths of the spouses, so join the conversation to learn what you can do starting today to better yourself and your relationship!
Timestamps:
1:13 – A happy “we” starts with a happy “me”
2:15 – The foundational three: sleep, exercise, and diet
4:42 – Unhappy people are three times more likely to get sick than happy people
6:10 – Stress kills
8:35 – Happy Hack: the power of kindness, compassion, and gratitude - lifeblood of
relationships
10:47 – Simply witnessing kindness improves your mood
12:50 – Vitamin S - social piece that gives us reassurance, connection, and life satisfaction
13:53 – Happy Hack : The 10:5 Rule - smile at 10 feet, say hello at 5 feet
14:34 – Ritual of connection/smile campaign - smile and say hello when you greet your partner
16:51 – Broadcasting - communicating with our facial expression and body language
18:46 – Happy Hack: engaging in that state of flow
20:54 – Happy Hack: mindfulness - paying attention in the present moment without judgment
22:16 – Finding joy in the journey and bringing your best self to each situation
23:04 – Happy Hack: journaling your gratitude
24:22 – #1 predictor of happiness and well-being is the quality of our relationship s
26:41 – Our three needs: safety, satisfaction, and connection
28:38 – Happy Hack: discovering and using our strengths
31:33 – Liz’s takeaway: moving our thoughts so we can move our bodies and our relationships
32:09 – Dave’s takeaway: improving our personal lives and relationships starts with
intentionality
Insights:
Liz: Living amidst conflict hurts our health. Living amidst good, warm, loving relationships is protective.
Dave: If you want to be instantly happy, do something kind. Do something thoughtful, send someone a text, write them a letter, or send them a note. Doing something kind makes you a happier and a positive person and then that spills over into your marriage.
Invites:
● Are there areas in your personal life that you can tweak to be healthier physically and mentally? Where can you create an upward spiral toward greater happiness as an
individual and as a couple?
● Do your facial expressions tell your spouse: “I see you. I notice you. I’m glad you’re
there”? If not, make a goal to show in your facial expressions that you appreciate your
partner.
● Practice mindfulness by intentionally choosing to enjoy your day. Be fully present in each moment without judgment.
● Create a gratitude journal for your spouse. When you’re upset with them, practice the “drop and do 10” exercise by writing down 10 reasons why you appreciate your partner.
Episode Links:
Signature strengths survey - https://www.viacharacter.org/
Robert Waldinger Harvard study ted talk -https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=ted
comshare
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On todays’ episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz welcome Richard and Linda Eyre back on the show to shed some light on grandparenting and how to make your marriage thrive as empty nesters. Richard and Linda share some powerful tips and tools from their online course and community called grandparenting101.com so that you can prepare now for this exciting phase of life!
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who are Richard & Linda Eyre?
2:44 – “Gray Divorce” & why the divorce rate has gone down in recent years
4:39 – The dynamics and chemistry of the relationship change when it’s just you two again
6:19 – Creating a new vision statement for your marriage when the kids are gone
7:47 – Being a team as grandparents helps your marriage to thrive
9:28 – The time when the kids are gone may be longer than the time when the kids are there
11:21 – Look forward to empty nesting by planning things to do together; see it as an opportunity to focus on eachother again
13:07 – When couples have joint projects they thrive together
16:50 – Going your separate ways on grandparenting will only create divisions
18:17 – Monthly meeting with your children about how to grandparent their children
20:08 – Using zoom to stay connected & talk about how to support grandchildren
22:03 – Renewing your commitment to each other in this new phase & writing it down
23:13 – What can couples do now to prepare for & strengthen their marriage as empty nesters?
25:32 – Write down things you adore & appreciate about the other person
27:09 – Grandparenting101.com - an online community for grandparents
30:51 – Don’t just be a grandparent, be a grand husband or a grand wife
33:00 – Richard & Linda’s takeaway - live life in the present & remember why you married your spouse
About Richard & Linda Eyre:
Richard and Linda Eyre are the parents of nine children and are among the most popular speakers in the world on parenting and families. They've presented in more than 45 countries and are New York Times best selling authors of numerous books on parenting couples and families. The Eyres have been frequent guests on national network shows including Oprah, the Today Show, Primetime Live, 60 minutes, Good Morning America, and once did regular segments on the CBS Early Show. Their parenting website valuesparenting.com provides ideas,
guidance and creative programs for families throughout the world, including programs on grandparenting and empty nest parenting.
Richard & Linda Eyre Links:
- www.valuesparenting.com
- www.grandparenting101.com
- Books: The 8 Myths of Marriage, Being a Proactive Grandfather,
The Happiness Paradox
- Social Media: @richardlindaeyre
- Email: Richardmeyre@gmail.com
Insights:
Richard: How well your marriage is doing in your senior years is directly related to how proactive you are as a grandparent
Linda: Sometimes the things that bother you the most about your spouse are the things that you love the most, if you really stop and think about it.
Liz: If we fail to plan then we plan to fail
Dave: Having both grandparents on board will strengthen their relationship
Invites:
● Start talking about what you want your marriage to look like after the kids are gone. Create a new vision statement and write it down.
● Grandparents - go to dinner with your children, who are parents, and discuss how you four can work together to support their kids. What do they want your help on? What don’t they? Work as a four person team for the benefit of the kids.
● Renew your vows in some way. Recommit to each other in this new stage of life you are in. Write them down and remind yourself of them as you move through this phase of life together.
● Write down things you adore about your partner and your kids. What are you grateful for about them? What do you appreciate them for?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen in as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz sit down with Emil Harker, a respected therapist and
talented author, to give you some practical tips and tools for turning conflict into connection and closeness. By following a few powerful principles, we all have the ability to use inevitable conflict for good in our relationships.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Emil Harker?
3:19 – Conflict is inevitable - tips for dealing with it in the moment
5:40 – Handling situations so you feel good and your partner loves you more
7:29 – Assuming good intent - hijacking the limbic system
10:18 – They want to feel good, they want you to feel good, and they’re doing the best they can.
13:34 – Really taking the time to understand your partner’s behavior
15: 38 – Criticisms are a catalyst for conflict
18:02 – Addressing criticisms by agreeing with the element of truth
21:15 – Responding to attacks - criticism, questions, declarations, commands
24:08 – “The Betrayed CEO” - how the fundamental attribution error hurts us
30:23 – Bad things happen, how we handle them will either make or break us
32:48 – Understanding the crap out of your partner - validating their emotional experience
34:41 – Problems aren’t the problem, how we handle the problems are the problem
36:15 – The process creates connection, not the solution
38:20 – The key to a stronger marriage: develop the ability to seek, receive, and respond to feedback
40:37 – Make your marriage a priority
42:56 – Liz’s takeaway: conflict can either be constructive or destructive, it is up to us
43:44 – Dave’s takeaway: Remember who your partner really is - find the message behind the mess
About Emil Harker:
Emil has been doing therapy for almost 20 years. He is passionate about getting through the fluffy stuff to the real nuts and bolts that help people turn inevitable conflict into closeness. He has been on Channel 2 Fresh living program for over 10 years and is a frequent expert guest on podcasts, and radio and tv programs. Emil has worked with NBA, UFC, and NFL athletes. He has his own podcast called The Emil Show and his book “You Can Turn Conflict into Closeness” has been well received by professional therapists and couples alike.
Emil Harker Links:
- emilharker@gmail.com
- https://www.emilharker.com
- on social media @emilharker
- podcast: The Emil Show
- books: You Can Turn Conflict Into Closeness
Insights:
Dave: When we view others differently, we start treating them differently. It’s a powerful
paradigm shift.
Liz: My mantra to myself and to my spouse is: “I give you permission to not be perfect and I will still love you”.
Emil: If the process is what we are devoted to, then no matter what issues we have we will never have to compromise on the closeness and companionship of the intimate relationship.
Invites:
● Before responding to a critical attack from your partner, try to practice “agreeing with the element of truth” by owning your flaws and acknowledge what is true in that
moment. Although it’s natural, try not to get defensive. This only feeds our insecurities.
● Practice getting feedback from your partner and responding to it in a positive way. You could do this by asking what they might need you to do differently during conflict and
then thanking them for their honesty.
● Make your marriage a priority by focusing on connection rather than the solution during conflict. You could do this by validating your partner’s emotional experience or taking the time to try to understand their behavior before responding to their criticisms.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join in today on the Stronger Marriage podcast as Dave and Liz sit down with Mark Ogletree, a professional marriage and family educator, to guide you through how to not just survive, but thrive in your marriage. Whether you’re a fiance, newlywed, or long-time spouse, these tips apply to all couples and are sure to help you strengthen your relationship.
Timestamps:
0:40 – Introduction: Who is Mark Ogletree?
3:31 – Why would couples who are in love benefit from premarital education?
4:55 – Discovering more about each other through relationship assessments
6:57 – Great conversations to have before marriage
8:26 – The 12 core traits to build a marriage on
10:04 – Topics to discuss when engaged, newlywed, or at least in the first year of marriage
12:16 – It doesn’t matter what they think - It is what’s best for you
14:40 – Expectations - verbalizing and discovering them through relationship assessments
16:43 – #1 core belief that needs alignment in order to build a successful marriage and family
19:21 – Is it normal for engaged couples to get irritated with each other?
22:27 – Research shows that every couple will have about 10 things they just can’t resolve - and
that is okay
23:49 – Red flags that may urge you to hit the brakes
25:51 – Addictions, extreme views, lying, cheating, narcissism
28:00 – How does your partner get along with your family? How do they feel about your
partner?
30:38 – How they treat their mom may reflect how they will treat you one day
32:29 – Negative effects of phones/social media on marriage and family relationships
34:26 – Topics that couples often struggle with in the first year of marriage
35:40 – First year of marriage is an opportunity to decide what kind of team you’ll be
37:52 – Common areas of adjustment for newlyweds
40:40 – Comparison is the thief of joy
42:45 – Principle of reciprocity between couples and in-laws
45:42 – Keeping up the practices that caused you to fall in love - talk and time rituals
48:27 – Mark’s take away - love and affection looks different for everyone
50:15 – Liz’s take away - what is fun for you may not be fun for them
50:40 – Dave’s take away - humility, being open to change, expecting respect
About Mark Ogletree:
Mark is a professional educator, having taught for over 20 years in the Church’s seminary and institute program. Since 2010, he has worked as a professor in the department of Church History and Doctrine at Brigham Young University. He is also a licensed professional counselor, having worked with individuals, couples, and families for the past 30 years. Mark is the author of books and articles on topics ranging from marriage, family, and contemporary Church history. He has also been a regular presenter at Brigham Young University’s Education Week for the past 20 years. Mark and his wife Janie have been married for 35 years. They are the parents of eight
children, and 22 grandchildren. Mark and Janie love spending time with their children and grandchildren, traveling, and spending time on the lake.
Mark Ogletree’s Links:
www.markogletree.com
www.preservingfamilies.org
Preserving Families podcast
Books: Babysitters Are Cheaper Than Divorces and So You’re in Love, Now What?
Insights:
Dave: Comparison is the thief of joy
Liz: It is absolutely normal for engaged couples to get irritated with each other
Mark: Anytime a couple can work out conflict, that’s a healthy relationship
Invites:
- Whether you're engaged or newlywed, sit down with your partner and discuss at least three of the topics mentioned by Mark Ogletree. Examples could be finances, intimacy, or in-laws. Having these conversations will ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.
-
Alone or with your significant other, take the free RELATE assessment on the Utah
Marriage Commission website to evaluate and gain a better understanding of your
relationship. At the end, choose one meaningful discussion question and have a
conversation about it with your partner. -
Never stop dating your spouse! Write notes, surprise each other, send sweet texts,
compliment and praise one another like you did before you were married. Keep doing
what made you fall in love in the first place. -
Decide with your partner what some good “talk and time together rituals” would work
for you as a couple. Whether it’s going on walks at night just the two of you or havingtime alone in the morning before the kids wake up to plan the day ahead. Make these
rituals an important part of your daily connection.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode Dave and Liz invite Dr. Bill Doherty, internationally recognized marriage expert, back to the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast to discuss the power of discernment counseling. Join us to learn how couples facing crisis can avoid divorce and strengthen their marriage by utilizing discernment.
Timestamps:
0:40 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?
3:12 – Why traditional therapy may not work for ambivalent couples
5:04 – Mixed agenda couples
7:05 – Goals of discernment counseling: clarity and confidence
9:50 – Navigating the three paths of discernment counseling
12:37 – Discernment counseling testimonials
14:57 – An assessment of discernment counselors
17:36 – Where should I put my effort in my relationship?
18:59 – Change in the marital relationship
20:07 – The benefit of a “solid self”
21:40 – How often are people thinking about divorce?
24:26 – Co-creating our marriages
25:05 – How to bring up that your marriage is in trouble without condemning your partner?
26:57 – Vulnerability without attack
30:48 – Assessing divorce ambivalence
33:16 – Insights into divorce
34:44 – Where can I go for help with discernment counseling?
36:49 – What to look for in a therapist
38:58 – What should I expect in a therapy session?
40:24 – Divorce can be avoided if approached with humility, commitment, & compassion
40:56 – Divorce ideation is relatively common - it doesn’t mean you’re doomed
42:09 – Accountability & responsibility make a difference in relationships
About Dr. Bull Doherty:
Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on challenges couples face in the modern world, on navigating marital crisis and avoiding divorce, and on using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. His books for the public include The Intentional Family and Take Back Your Marriage. In recent years, Bill has taken this couple's work to the national level via co-founding Braver Angels, an initiative working to decrease the politicalpolarization that is dividing the country. Among his awards is the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Academy.
Dr. Bill Doherty Links:
https://www.moderncommitment.com
Invites:
● If you are the “leaning in” spouse, bring your best self forward to the crisis by really trying to hear and understand the pain your partner is in. Denial, begging, and/or pleading will not work in discernment counseling. To do this, write down one way you can improve conflict with your partner and provide a plan for change.
● Sit down with your partner this week and determine the state of your relationship. How are things going? Could they be better? How can you strengthen your current connection?
● If you determine you are in need of therapy, choose a therapist or counselor who provides structure and connection and is supportive of marriage and commitment.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Geoff Steurer joins Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz to discuss betrayal trauma and the three A’s: abuse, affairs and addiction. Geoff shares some great tips to help both partners through the challenges and struggles of the trauma that is often the result.
Timestamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Geoff Steurer?
2:33 – Why Dr. Steurer chose to focus on such a specific area
4:44 – When parents can do better, they are the ultimate help for children
6:00 – The three A’s
6:15 – Abuse – what do you say to individuals who deal with this?
7:23 – Power differential within abuse
8:43 – First steps to dealing with abuse
12:58 – Suggestion for those on the outside
17:42 – Affairs – about 20% of men & 13% of women
18:40 – You are not crazy for feeling hurt
20:30 – Understanding both sides of the hurt
22:53 – Recommendations for those on the outside
26:30 – 70-80% of marriages make it through it
28:48 – Addiction – can marriages survive?
29:10 – It is important to be open about it
32:18 – How to respond when being confronted about addiction
34:44 – Resources
35:46 – What creates a stronger marriage
37:58 – Takeaway
About Geoff Steurer:
Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild their
relationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individuals
affected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressful
marriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his work will pay off in their own lives.
Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography and
sexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, and
family therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "Trust
Building Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of a
weekly online Q&A column.
Geoff Steurer Links:
https://www.geoffsteurer.com/
https://www.cvcounselingservices.com/couplesgclid=CjwKCAiAjs2bBhACEiwALTBWZZItnLJU5CuseVPHdJYCfdHgo9IQTOZQ02nMKnRfYFG5j4ZvSJQjnhoCupgQAvD_BwE
https://www.geoffsteurer.com/podcast
https://www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT
https://www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/
Insights:
Dave: Reach out, reach out for help and find someone you trust to speak with.
Liz: Hope. There is so much to be hopeful about. Believe in marriage and look at the other side.
Geoff: Learn to see the other person as someone who is different than you are.
Invites: - Learn how to stay close to your partner so you can find your way back to each other
when dealing with betrayal and trauma
- Don’t be afraid of the truth, your marriage can handle it
- Recognize that there are a lot of people who struggle with these things, do not feel
ashamed. Get help and know you are not alone.
- Take the 12 week self-guided online course if you have broken someone’s trust.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On today’s episode, Dave and Liz discuss some New Year’s resolutions that couples can make to intentionally strengthen their relationships. Whether you want to create more fun and adventure in your marriage or slow down and have more alone time with your partner, listen in for some life-changing tips and tools you can use to improve your marriage in 2023.
Time Stamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Dave & Liz
2:12 – Common New Year's resolutions
4:27 – Improving relationships in the new year
6:41 – Relationship regrets; looking back and moving forward
8:45 – Commitment; removing the threat of divorce
10:57 – Bringing fun and adventure into the ordinary
12:37 – The law of least effort and the law of little things
14:33 – When schedules are off
16:05 – Exercising together as a couple
18:32 – Celebrating small wins and sharing the good news
20:44 – Saying yes more often
22:22 – Small acts of kindness
24:34 – Terms of endearment
26:02 – Conflict management, soft start up, aiming to understand
28:39 – How mantras can change the situation
30:21 – The power of pausing; respond instead of react
32:00 – Using a system to manage finances
34:48 – Having no secrets in your relationship
36:04 – Everyday, every moment is a chance to have a do over
36:20 – Intentionality; expressions of gratitude, compassion, and kindness are the lifeblood of relationships.
Insights:
Dave: The big picture for me is that people are more important than problems.
Liz: Regrets are not the end of the world. We don't want to have no regrets, because regrets teach us what we value the most.
Invites:
● Liz encourages couples to try to put their arguments to rest or at least come to a truce within an hour and certainly within the day. Do not let things go on past the day - the faster the better.
● Be less reactive and more responsive. Part of that is watching your temper, your tongue, and your tone. Dave encourages that it’s okay to feel intense feelings but don’t follow them as far as to react to them.
● Aim to understand. Even if you don’t agree, try to see the situation from your partner's perspective, creating more compassion. In your mind, try to come up with three reasons why they might be right.
● Even if you disagree with someone, you don't have to confront them. You don't have to bring it up. Relationships can significantly improve if one or both partners would leave some things left unsaid.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Wally Goddard joins Liz & Dave to explore how humility, curiosity, and understanding are at the heart of true human connection. As we refine our own character, we perceive our partner with new eyes and experience true joy in our relationship. Listen in to understand how irritation can be an invitation.
Time stamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Wally Goddard?
1:14 – Welcome
2:22 – Tell us about your book “Discoveries”
3:25 – What do you love about helping people flourish?
4:24 – The paradox of self-love
7:40 – Skills vs. heart in relationships
9:21 – Irritation is an invitation
11:17 – Looking inward
11:53 – Get curious
12:10 – Why is asking your partner to change ineffective?
13:49 – Focus on the eighty percent
19:05– The design of life is growth
20:01 – The value of understanding
22:10 – Get peaceful
25:10 – Humility and Heart
26:25 – Deep curiosity
28:15 – What is the key to a stronger marriage connection?
31:00 – Self-awareness & compassion
32:22 – Where can I find Wally?
33:24 – Wally’s Takeaway
34:02 – Liz’s Takeaway
34:22 – Dave’s Takeaway
35:19 – Be a healer
36:28 – Thanks
About Dr. Wally Goddard:
After receiving a PhD in Family and Human Development from
Utah State University, Wally was a Professor at Auburn University and later at the University of Arkansas. He created many award-winning programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting.
Wally created and hosted Guiding Children Successfully, a television series for PBS. He has written, edited, or co-authored several books including Discoveries, Between Parent and Child, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Finding Joy in Family Life. In 2010, he won the national award for Outstanding Family Life Educator.
Wally and Nancy have three children and 14 grandchildren.
Links:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-wally-a-fresh-view-on-gospel-living/id1543963177
https://latterdaysaintmag.com/author/wallace-goddard/
Insights:
Dave: We need to be healers not preachers.
Liz: Focus on the eighty percent with Heart
Wally: The willingness to see goodness in your partner gets you more goodness.
Invites:
- Get curious. Ask your partner in humility why they do something differently. Listen
sincerely and without judgement. - Make a list of 50 different qualities you appreciate in your partner.
- Decide to stop criticizing a specific behavior, quality, or attribute of your partner.
Choose to accept them as they are right now, instead of trying to change them.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What are the most important things couples need to know before they get married? Dave and Liz discuss with Dr. Les Parrott advice for newlyweds, engaged couples or married people based off of years of research and working with couples.
Time Stamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Les Parrott?
1:00 – Les Parrot’s book: “Saving your Marriage Before it Starts.”
5:40 – SYMBIS assessment
6:40 – Lowering the divorce rate
8:32 – PREPARE/ENRICH assessment
11:29 – The unspoken “rules” in marriage
14:20 – The Relationship Laboratory
15:08 – Should my spouse make me whole?
18:00 – Developing the habit of happiness
19:30 – How do I adjust to things beyond my control?
27:05 – How do gender differences affect relationships?
32:08 – Mastering conflict and fighting fair
36:30 – CORE: cooperation, ownership, respecting and empathy
38:17 – Honeymoon habits
40:47 – Les Parrot’s resources
44:10 – Empathy as the single most important relationship skills
About Les Parrott:
Dr Les Parrott is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Northwest University. He and his wife, Leslie – a marriage and family therapist – are founders of the Center for Healthy Relationships on the campus of Olivet University.
Married in 1984, the Parrott’s speak together in a wide array of venues, from churches to
Fortune 500 company board rooms. The Governor of Oklahoma even appointed the Parrott’s as the first ever statewide Marriage Ambassadors.
The Parrott’s have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television
appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah.
Les Parrott Links:
https://loveology.org/
https://www.betterlove.com/
Less Parrott Books
Insights:
The power of marriage is shown through the dual cooperation, ownership, respect and
empathy for the marriage. Each partner must put in the work to grow with the other and
develop themselves along the way. Doing this can be difficult, therefore, it is imperative to seek out help from researched and valued resources available.
Invites:
- Submit a list of six questions that you would like to answer on Loveology.com.
- Read the Parrott’s book and develop three things you can your partner can do to help
your marriage continue to thrive. - Write down one thing about conflict with your partner that you want to improve
because you feel it is unfair for your partner. Make a plan of how to master it and
implement it in your next conflict
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Betrayal during the holiday season can cause feelings of joy and celebration to turn sour. However, there is hope. Dr. Jill Manning joins Liz to share her expertise in navigating the holidays after betrayal. Get cozy and tune in for a recipe for holiday healing.
Time stamps:
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Jill Manning?
1:25 – Welcome Dr. Jill Manning.
1:50 – Managing the Holidays after betrayal.
3:58 – What are the types of loss and betrayal?
5:50 – Why is betrayal so devastating?
7:46 – The First Step to Healing.
11:45 – Let Feelings Flow.
13:39 – Physiological Responses to betrayal.
14:31 – No feelings at all?
15:17 – Simplify and Slow Down.
16:29 – An invitation.
17:00 – A journal.
17:39 – A batch of honesty.
18:20 – A recipe for holiday healing.
18:53 – Deep honesty is sacred ground.
19:40 – How do I honor self-care?
22:52 – Dr. Jill’s self-care.
23:59 – Deepening the meaning of holidays.
26:53 – Integrating healing in holidays
29:05 – Who should we reveal our pain too?
30:15 – Advice for allies.
32:18 – Dr. Jill’s Takeaway
About Dr. Jill Manning:
Dr. Jill Manning is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with individuals who have been sexually betrayed through infidelity or compulsive sexual behavior. For over two decades, her work has been featured in numerous peer-reviewed research journals, television programs, documentaries, radio shows, podcasts, and magazine articles, including The Oprah Magazine. While serving as a Social Science Fellow at the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C., she was invited to testify as an expert before a US Senate sub-committee about the harms of pornography on the family. She is the author of “What’s the Big Deal about Pornography: A Guide for the Internet Generation” and has spoken out on the harms of pornography on college campuses around the country, including Princeton, Yale, Harvard, and Notre Dame. She currently serves on the Board of Directors for The Institute for Mental Health Professional Standards based in Denver. A native of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, she
currently lives in Colorado with her husband and two daughters.
Links:
http://www.drjillmanning.com/
@drjillmanning
To increase access to betrayal-trauma-specific resources, Dr. Manning produces digital downloads that allow therapists, coaches, and individuals all over the world to integrate high-quality and affordable digital resources into their professional work with betrayed clients or their own self-care efforts. Dr. Manning provided us with some of these pdfs but asked that we refer our guests to her site at the link
below:
Digital downloads, including several free printables, may be found at:
https://drjillmanning.com/digital-downloads/
Insights:
Dr. Jill Manning: There is hope after betrayal.
Invites:
- Think of one holiday tradition or practice that brings you meaning and helps you feel connected and choose two holiday traditions to let go of for the time while you are healing.
- Start small and customize your self-care by body mapping. Visualize your body head to toe, and ask yourself how is stress manifesting itself in your body? Go through the list and develop a self-care task to address each stress reaction.
- Download the CALM app and try one guided meditation.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, Dr. Staley discusses how to develop purpose in life during and after compulsive sexual behavior usage, AKA pornography. Join us today as we discuss strategies of hope in recovery for spouses, parents and viewers of pornography,
Trigger warning Today’s episode dives into a discussion about the harmful effects of pornography on oneself and the marriage connection. We recognize this topic is sensitive for many and can be triggering for some. We also recognize that professional scholars have differing perspectives when it comes to pornography, or even using the term addiction. Our interview with Dr. Staley is one perspective on pornography and we hope today’s episode will provide you with helpful insights on this issue.
Time Stamps:
0:00 –Introduction: Who is Cameron Staley
2:19 –Pornography Addiction: Altering our terminology
4:40 –Finding true connection
6:25 –Are women responsible for managing men’s sexual behavior?
8:45 –Using more appropriate terminology: “Compulsive sexual behavior”
9:30 –Short-term satisfaction vs long-term emotional intelligence with pornography and masturbation
10:52 –The river analogy: kids and pornography
13:16 –Can we control our urge to view pornography?
15:00 –Emotions associated with pornography
17:10 –Managing emotional stress in relationships where one is viewing pornography
19:13 –Focusing on what part of yourself you want to grow
20:47 –Profiles of porn viewers: Are the stereotypes correct?
22:40 –An alternative to shaming your partner who’s struggling with porn
24:48 –At what age does porn viewing typically start?
26:36 –Compulsive sexual behavior as a coping mechanism for underlying mental health concerns, including trauma.
29:00 –Staying aware of your children’s struggles and building a precedent of communication
30:20 –Are phone filters an excuse to avoid having conversations with our kids?
32:33 –How should we react when our kids tell us they saw porn?
33:34 –ACT: Acceptance Commitment Therapy
35:50 –Additional resources: Life After Porn app, The Happiness Trap book, Life After Pornography program, therapy with Dr. Staley
39:05 –Acceptance and Commitment practices
41:26 –Developing a life with meaning and purpose
42:30 –Commitment –behavior in line with values
43:55 –The things that matter most are just on the other side of discomfort
45:40 –Hope and healing is available
46:10 –Feel it but don’t follow it –intentionally choosing to not follow the urge
46:44 –Where to find Dr. Staley and his resources
About Cameron Staley:
Dr. Cameron Staley is a clinical psychologist who is passionate about helping individuals improve their mental and sexual health. In his TEDX talk, Changing the Narrative Around the Addiction Story, Cameron shares details from his research and counseling experience regarding helpful ways to talk about sexuality and how to effectively reduce unwanted pornography viewing through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). To make these principles more accessible to those who are struggling with pornography, he developed the Life After Pornography online program and the Life After Pornography Coach app. Cameron also provides online counseling services to residents of Utah and Idaho and coaching services for individuals seeking additional support in applying the mental and sexual health principles found in the Life After Series programs.
Links:
The Life After Series
https://www.instagram.com/thelifeafterseries/
https://www.facebook.com/Dr.CameronStaley
https://cameronstaley.com/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-life-after-series-podcast/id1499393371
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNGg5SMcyhI
Life After Pornography App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.getyourmarriageon.lap&hl=en_US≷=US&pli=1
Insights:
Dave: Feel it but don’t follow it –intentionally choosing to not follow the urge. Dave illustrates that pornography users have the ability to overcome the urge and empower themselves to fight harmful behaviors.
Liz: Though compulsive sexual behavior is so prevalent hope for healing is still available.
Cameron: The things that matter most are just on the other side of discomfort. Putting forth the effort to be uncomfortable and progress will lead to a world of happiness.
Invites:
-
For Parents: Open the lines of communication with your children. When you witness pornography in your home open up a conversation with your children immediately about what they say, how it made them feel, and why the producers of that content decided to use that marketing strategy.
-
If you haven’t talked to your partner about pornography, find a time to do so. Sit down and ask about their experience with pornography and how it has affected their lives. Discuss your own experience with pornography.
-
If you are seeking recovery and hope, download the Life After Pornography app or find counseling with Dr. Staley or a professional near you. Hope is available through intentionality, take the time to be intentional by seeking long-term emotional intelligence over short-term satisfaction.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
TikTok: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
People are more important than problems. In this week’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz dive into the deep end of the relationship pool. Using the metaphor of a swimming pool, they discuss the importance of maintenance and consistently adding cups of connection. They share 8“D’s of Disconnection”-how to become more aware of these threats to couple connection and how to tackle them with intentionality.
0:00 – Introduction
1:15 – Today we will talk about things that can often disconnect us as couples
2:53 – We aren’t perfect and are still working on this
4:15 – What Dave would share with teens
5:30 – Relationship pool of connection –swimming pool metaphor
6:30 – Cups of connection
7:45 – All pools need maintenance
8:36 – Keep the intentionality in your connection
11:27 – The 8D’s of Disconnection
11:54 – 1. Drifting
13:24 – 2. Darts and daggers
15:48 – 3. Disruptions
17:58 – 4. Distance –emotional and physical
20:14 – 5. Destructive decisions –decisions without discussion
22:49 – 6. Disagreement and defensiveness –think about the patterns
25:42 – 7. Daily hassles–the messiness of life
27:00 – Hit delete-people over problems
27:13 – 8. Last D –digital distractions
31:20 – Takeaways
Insights:
Dave: Remember to be more intentional, think about those things you need to work on and be mindfully aware. Don’t go automatic, be aware of the things that are taking away from your connection.
Liz: Put people over your problems, remember what is important.
Invites:
- Talk with your partner about your current relationship pool, what needs maintenance? How can you add more cups of connection?
- Go over each “D of Disconnection” and discuss where you need work and make note of the places you are doing well.
- Be mindful in the things you are doing as a couple, stay intentional and remember to put people over the problem.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Couple named least likely to succeed in marriage, Casey & Meygan share their success story with Dave and Liz on this week’s episode of Strong Marriage Connection. Tune in to hear more about Marriage365,COVID’s impacts on marriage, and practical things you can do to improve your marriage. If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you.
0:00 – If you want to make a better marriage, make a better you.
0:40 -- Introduction: Who are Casey & Meygan Caston?
1:44 – Warm Welcome to Casey & Meygan Caston
3:12 – What if I can’t afford marital therapy?
6:10 – Living with Divorce.
6:54 -- Least likely married couple to succeed: Finding hope.
8:45 – Fight for your marriage: Make a better you.
11:30 – Personal growth & healthy boundaries.
13:02 – No quick fixes in marriage.
13:30 – What to look for in a good therapist?
15:20 – W. A. I. T.
17:37 – Build intimacy: Date night questions.
20:39 – Quality time& connection.
21:30 – Sixtysecond blessing.
24:20 – Sixty second blessing with kids.
25:18 – Celebrity marriages: Patrick Dempsey.
27:00 – Winners build strong marriages.
27:50 – Couple monthly check-ins.
30:35 – COVID’s impact on marriage.
32:55 – Healthy separation.
33:28 – Fights about COVID.
34:27 – Hope for the future.
35:00 – Unity begins in the family.
37:00 – Casey’s vision for the future.
38:25 – Marriage365app.
39:00 – Do something for your marriage.
38:28 – Healthy people make healthy marriages.
40:12 – Advice for singles.42:30 –Date well, marry well.
43:16 – Be teachable.
44:40 – Vulnerability matters.
45:30 – Advice for divorcees.
46:40 – Confidence is about trusting yourself.
47:00 – Healthy boundaries.
47:35 – Be sure to heal& forgive.
48:56 – Where can I find Casey & Meygan.
49:27 – Takeaways
50:04 – Meygan’s Takeaway: Progress
51:11 – Casey’s Takeaway: Reflection
52:30 – Liz’s Takeaway: Just One.
53:03 – Dave’s Takeaway: Intentionality
53:45 – Thank you!
54:30 –Connect with Casey & Meygan
About Casey & Meygan:
Casey and Meygan Castonwere the couple least likely to succeed in their marriage. After meeting in college, they fell in love fast and then said I do. But after only three years, they were headed straight for divorce. Their relationship had fallen apart. Communication was lost.Sex was non-existent. Their finances crumbled in the midst of the chaos and the worst part? They placed blame on each other for their bad marriage. But one thing they did agree on, they both didn't want to become another American divorce statistic.
The Castons began searching for ways to do marriage right. They surrounded themselves with healthy couples, experts, books, and got therapy to make a relational transformation. But they admit that it was a long and really difficult process to find resources that were affordable and convenient, so they decided to do something about it and founded Marriage365.
Visit Marriage365 to learn more about their membership program and newly released marriage app!
Links:
https://marriage365.com/
Happily Ever After pre-marital program
Marriage365 membership program
Marraige365 app
Insights:
Dave: Intentionally make time to connect. Plan Ahead!
Liz: It just takes one. One person can change the dance in marriage.
Meygan: There is always room for improvement, but that does mean perfection. Progress is better than nothing. Find just one thing you can do to improve.
Casey: Be brave and spend time in reflection and ask: how is it working out?
Invites:
- Implement the Sixty Second Blessing for 7 days with your spouse.
- Spend time in reflection: Ask yourself “how’s it working out?” and write down your answer.
- Take the first step to improve your marriage by visiting with a therapist.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook :https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this week’s episode, our expert guest, John Howard, talks about his book, More Than Words: The Science of Deepening Love and Connection in Any Relationship, and shares what neuroscience is teaching us about emphasizing connection over communication. With tips for parents and couples, John’s insights help the listener refocus on connection for the benefit of ourselves, our marriages, families, and society. Join us for the conversation and learn how to create a deeper connection in your marriage today.
0:00 – Introduction: Who is John Howard?
2:37 – Brain science in couple’s therapy
3:37 – Communication is out and connection is in
6:12 – Connecting through vulnerability: Why won’t he talk to me?
8:08 – Connection Hacks AKA the language of the nervous system
9:30 – Our non-verbal communication speaks louder than words
9:55 – When NOT to have sensitive conversations?
11:35 – Moving beyond “I” statements to “we” statements
14:30 – Skills matter more than compatibility
17:55 – Simple strategies to connect with your partner
19:45 – Altering verbal communication into nonverbal connection
22:33 – Getting on the same level with my children
24:00 – Connect, direct, and then correct
24:45 – Bridging marital blind spots with my partner
25:54 – Having the humility to constantly be learning
27:20 – The personal strength that comes from healthily digesting feedback
29:33 – Is bad intent inherent in bad behavior?
32:45 – Seeing the world through your partner’s eyes: Merging societal polarization
35:34 – Introduction to John’s book More than Words.
39:29 – Refocusing your attention towards building connection
41:20 – Refrain from assigning intent to your partner
42:16 – How accepting diverse influences in life will benefit our connection
43:31 – The key to a stronger marriage connection
About:
John is a Cuban-American who grew up in New York City speaking Spanish. He didn't live with his parents as a kid and eventually left home at 15. After years of traveling and studying native traditions, John discovered the science of relationships as a powerful way to heal his own attachment wounds. He has taught the neuroscience of couples therapy at leading conferences, has trained thousands of therapists, and led a relationship wellness program for Google, Inc. He is the Founder of the Ready Set Love® line of courses for couples, the Founder of Presence Wellness, and teaches at the Dell Medical School in Austin, TX. In 2022, John released his book, More than Words that is high grossing on BookTok and expands on the principles John has taught in his lectures and in therapy for the entirety of his career.
Links:
getmorethanwords.com – Order John’s book here to receive bonus content (free chapter on attachment) and connect with John personally.
readysetlove.com
John Howard’s Podcast about his book More than Words
Insights:
John reminds us to be intentional with our attention –putting away our devices and distractions and really focusing on our partners. He indicates that one of the best ways to do this is by “stepping in the shoes” of our partner and practicing humility. Byrefraining from making assumptions about our partner, John illustrates that couples will grow stronger bonds that are focused on simple forms of connection and affirmations that will make all the difference to one’s relational satisfaction.
Invites:
• Practice nonverbal, primitive connection with your partner
o Sit with your partner and take turns holding each other in your lap without talking for 2 minutes.
o Sit across from each other and look into each other’s eyes without speaking
• Merge your marriage by taking the RELATE assessment with your partner. Have a discussion together after taking the assessment and learn how “to see it from your partner’s point of view.” Though how you view things, or do things, may be different, practice validating your partner’s point of view and discover a new way you can develop your relationship going forward.
• Practice skills-based connection
o Discuss with your partner what you view as “bad behavior” and why. Establish ways you can remedy this kind of behavior together.
o Write in a journal entry what makes you compatible with your partner. What do you love about them? Also, highlight your differences. List five ways you can connect with your partner that illustrate your differences and will help you grow together.
o Have a conversation with your partner about how to approach challenges in your relationship with greater intentionality and commitment. Develop strategies that will lead to conflict resolution and connection. For lots of great conflict resolution strategies and tools, take the ePREP course offered free to Utah residents by the Utah Marriage Commission or visit UMC’s Tiktok for quick conflict resolution tips.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
https://StrongerMarriage.org
https://podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: https://facebook.com/StrongerMarriage
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. LizHale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What can I do today to make my partner’s life more worth living? In this week’s episode, Dave and Liz discuss the importance of celebrating anniversaries in our relationships. Marital drift happens to the best of us. Liz shares these 4 tips; be authentic, attentive, appreciative and affectionate for improving your connection and making anniversaries more meaningful.
0:00 – What can I do today to make my spouse’s life more worth living?
0:16 – The importance of celebrating anniversaries in your relationship
1:08 – UMC has just celebrated our 24-year anniversary
2:54 – Every day we get a chance at a due over
6:37 – There is so much of the picture behind closed doors
7:50 – What is grey divorce?
9:22 – Re-invent yourself after the kids leave
10:42 – Finding love again
12:01 – It’s a great time for reflection and renewal
14:47 – Involve your children
16:25 – We are modeling and teaching kids all the time
17:31 – The value of pre-marital couple counseling
18:26 – Sometimes we get a little too confident
18:50 – Take E-prep and RELATE questionnaire
19:40 – Be authentic
20:49 – Be attentive
22:21 – Be appreciative
24:48 – Be affectionate
26:15 – Takeaways
Insights:
Dave: It’s important for couples to come up with their own rituals or celebrations to create ways to connect.
Liz: I am grateful that my parents stayed married. They could have easily divorced but I am grateful they didn’t, they showed me what it takes.
Invites:
• Couple's conversation: Discuss the anniversaries that are important in your relationship and how you can be more intentional about how you celebrate them.
• Be authentic –Refrain from comparing your marriage to another. Celebrate what makes your marriage unique and then “vow to keep the vision alive.”
• Be attentive –Explore the following questions with your partner: “What was the best part of last year?” “What can we improve from the past year?” “What do you hope to see me do different in this next year?”
• Be appreciative –Create a couples’ gratitude journal. Take turns writing something you appreciate about your spouse and leave it out for them to read.
• Be affectionate –Talk with your partner about ways they would like you to express affection. What will you do to improve those areas?
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
strongermarriage.org
https://podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Giving hope to struggling couples, Jeff Forte joins Dave & Liz to share how it is possible for anyone to develop an extraordinary marriage. John shares his own challenges with divorce and death and describes how couples can restore connection with presence.
0:00 – It’s possible for anyone to change, if you know how.
0:38 – Introduction: Who is Jeff Forte?
1:34 – Welcome.
2:20 – Home stability matters for teenagers.
3:57 – Relationship is the foundation.
4:13 – We tend to imitate our parent’s relationship.
5:29 – John’s feelings on divorce.
6:12 – John’s first experience with marital therapy: A launchpad for change.
7:14 – We never stop learning.
7:23 – Jeff, what did you learn from widowhood?
9:43 – Create a vision for marriage.
11:30 – Connection
11:47 – What is “The 90 Minute Marriage Miracle” about?
12:48 – One person can transform a marriage.
13:32 – Focusing on what can change.
13:48 – An extraordinary marriage is possible.
15:04 – Stop doing some things and start doing others.
15:31 – What is benign neglect?
16:47 – The effect of stress: What about COVID?
18:42 – How do marriages get off track?
20:05 – Communication is a symptom.
20:52 – Presence: Restoring connections.
22:17 – Lack of attention leads to loss of connection.
22:46 – Jeff, what causes divorce?
23:47 – Fruits and roots of relationship.
24:37 – Where can I find Jeff Forte?
25:15 – Takeaways.
About:
Jeff Forte is the author of the breakthrough international book, The 90-Minute Miracle(translated into 4 languages). He is also the creator of The Rising Love Marriage Repair Process™, a proven, time-tested system that has helped over a thousand of couples fix their marriages for good. Jeff’s process works even when traditional couples counseling fails and divorce seems the only option. Jeff is considered a leading expert in divorce prevention and marriage turn-around and holds certifications in Strategic Intervention and Marriage Education and has 25 years of conflict resolution experience. He is a trusted advisor to Emmy Award winners, professional athletes, Fortune 500 executives, psychologists, business professionals, attorneys, surgeons, and some of the most high-profile couples around the world.
Links:
https://90minutemarriagemiracle.com/
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode, Dave and his guest, Brandon McDaniel, PhD, Senior Research Scientist at Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation, discuss the effects of technology usage on our relationships. While Brandon emphasizes that “not all technology is bad” he shares how “technoference” (a term he coined) can lead to disconnecting from those we love. More importantly, he gives tips for managing our own tech habits and having potentially difficult conversations with our partners around this sometimes touchy topic.
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Brandon McDaniel?
1:05 – What is “technoference”?
2:50 – What to do when technology disconnects us.
3:50 – Does relationship satisfaction depend on how much technology is used on a partnership?
5:50 – Technoference: connections and conflict
8:30 – Is technology affecting my relationship with my partner?
10:30 – Why it’s important to communicate technology use expectations with your partner.
11:40 – Addiction vs attention in technology use.
13:40 – How big of an issue is technoference?
14:45 – The power of intentionality.
15:27 – How to manage technology in the bedroom.
19:00 – Couple conversation: What does ideal couple time looklike and how to approach that conversation?
24:30 – Technoference at mealtime.
25:30 – When is technology use valuable?
29:15 – Managing technology and teenagers.
31:00 – How are influencers influencing you?
34:25 – Tips on managing media consumption.
About:
Brandon T. McDaniel is a family scientist (PhD in Human Development and Family Studies, Pennsylvania State University), Senior Research Scientist at the Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation, adjunct Clinical Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine Fort Wayne, and nationally recognized expert on the impacts of technology use on relationships, families, and children. Dr. McDaniel’s research on technoference –the interference of device use in our face-to-face interactions and family relationships—has attracted international attention. He has been awarded grants from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and is actively pursuing research into parent device use and developing educational programming for parents of infants centered around developing healthy digital habits. He also regularly engages in community education in the promotion of healthy digital habits.
Links:
Brandon McDaniel: http://www.btmcdaniel.com
Free Technoference eBook: https://www.drdaveschramm.com/techno-ference-ebook
“Raise” parenting app: https://www.joinraise.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
StrongerMarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Facebook: facebook.com/strongermarriage
Instagram: @strongermarriagelife
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In this week’s episode, Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz are joined by Jill Anderson, CEO of CAPSA (Citizens Against Physical & Sexual Assault) who discusses how to recognize signs of abuse and shares resources available to those experiencing domestic violence. We encourage those who recognize unhealthy patterns of behavior to seek help from qualified professionals. To survivors we say, “We believe you and there is hope."
[Time markers]
0:00 – Introduction: Who is Jill Anderson?
3:00 – What is Domestic Violence?
3:33 – How does the power and control wheel affect relationships.
4:45 – What is Gaslighting?
8:35 – Tips for early relationships: Communication, boundaries, and power structure.
11:20 – What resources are available to those experiencing DV?
15:56 – Domestic violence survivor success stories.
21:00 – How common is domestic violence?
24:01 – Lethality assessment: How law enforcement and other community programs are improving their response to DV.
25:38 – What can witnesses do to help those experiencing domestic violence?
26:50 – Signs of the power and control wheel in a relationship.
28:48 – When should I reach out for help if I am experiencing, or witnessing, domestic violence?
About:
Jill Anderson is the CEO of CAPSA, a nonprofit organization providing services to and empowering individuals and families impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. Jill has enhanced programs and expanded the capacity of CAPSA to provide critical 24-hour services, shelter, therapy, and housing for survivors. In 2013, she was named Resident of the Year by the Herald Journal, and in 2016, she receive the Lifetime Achievement Award from Utah State University’s Center for Women and Gender.
Links and resources:
https://www.capsa.org/
https://udvc.org/
(power and control wheel website)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233
CAPSA’s 24-hour Support Phone Line: 435-753-2500
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
podcast.strongermarriage.org
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
The information provided by the Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast is intended for general information and educational purposes only. The content of the Podcast is not a substitute for professional advice, marriage counseling, or therapy and no content should be construed as personalized advice. The Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast makes no representation or warranty, either express or implied, regarding its content or outcomes derived as a result of listening to the Podcast.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week, Liz and Dave interview Dr. Steven Stosny – author, educator, researcher, and one of the top marriage experts in the world. Dr. Stosny explains the underlying causes of disconnection, anger, and emotional abuse and how compassion – the “lifeblood of intimate relationships” - has the power to overcome their detrimental effects in marriage. Join us to learn how to create a deeper marital connection today.
2:00 - Dave’s Fave: “How to Improve your Marriage Without Talking about It”
3:20 - Communication is a function of connection.
4:35 - Communication isn’t about information in a love relationship.
5:50 – Connection is a mental state and a choice.
6:13 – Connecting with your man – touch first.
7:16 – Criticism is not an aphrodisiac.
7:30 – The underlying cause of disconnection: blame, denial, and avoidance
8:35 – Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want
9:35 – Resentment – the root of inter partner violence (IPV)
10:00 - Act on your values, not your feelings
10:30 – Overcoming feelings of resentment with compassion
11:20 – Compassionate assertiveness
13:10 – It’s not your driving, it’s my anxiety
13:50 – People cannot be compassionate when they are defensive
14:47 – Compassion is the lifeblood of intimate relationships.
16:11 – Resentment and the laws of reciprocity and negativity
18:21 – Every couple is different – test the research hypotheses to see if they apply to you
21:16 – The core value skill
22:11 – Improve, connect, appreciate, protect
25:45 – Toddler brain vs the adult brain
26:04 – Abuse is the misuse of the power inherent in attachment
26:21 – The fuel of anger: vulnerability + threat
28:33 – Motivation for emotion: approach, avoid, attack
29:14 – Guilt in relationship is a distance regulator
29:51 – The core value approach to relationship improvement
33:19 – Dr. Stosny’s book, “Empowered Love”
35:01 – Attachment: the secure base
37:26 – Dr. Stosny’s website and resources (relationship bootcamps)
39:05 – Signs of emotional abuse – the failure of compassion
41:55 – How to have a deeper marital connection? Be true to your own values.
43:35 – Takeaways of the day
About [Podcast Guest]:
Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower. His current book is Empowered Love. Among his previous books include, Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain under Any Kind of Stress, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words, Love without Hurt, The Powerful Self, and Treating Attachment Abuse. He has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of anger, abuse, and violence. He is an advisor Prince Georges County Circuit and District courts on domestic violence. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” many CNN shows, and in the New York Times, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, WSJ, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, USA Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. His blog on Psychologytoday.com has over 20 million views.
Dr. Stosny currently offers boot camps for chronic resentment, anger, emotional abuse and monthly workshops on various self-healing and relationship topics.
Dr. Steve Stosny:
https://compassionpower.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
podcast.strongermarriage.org
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
The information provided by the Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast is intended for general information and educational purposes only. The content of the Podcast is not a substitute for professional advice, marriage counseling, or therapy and no content should be construed as personalized advice. The Stronger Marriage Connection Podcast makes no representation or warranty, either express or implied, regarding its content or outcomes derived as a result of listening to the Podcast.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Join us as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz discuss that the foundation for true connection is within ourselves. We will be talking about four guiding principles that will help you develop a meaningful marriage. Come to discover your strengths, learn how to turn towards your spouse, gain a vision for the marriage of your dreams, and see the value of fierce loyalty.
0:00 –A happy “we” starts with a happy me: Four principles for happy healthy relationships.
1:17 –What does it mean to start whole in marriage?
3:10 –What is the best way to have a good marriage?
3:58--What is the difference between roots and fruits in thriving relationships?
5:05 --Foundations of friendship.
5:48 –The Roots: The power of humility, compassion, & positivity.
7:11 –Principle 1: Searching Inward
8:20 –How do I discover my character strengths?
9:38–What are Dr. Dave’s, Dr. Liz’s, & Rex’s top three Via Character Strengths?
12:50 –What do I do once I discover my Via Strengths?
13:35 –Building upon your partner’s strengths.
14:30 –Principle 2: Turn Outward.
15:50 –A word of caution.
16:39 –How do I turn outward towards my partner?
17:30 –See something -say something.
18:24–Emotional attunement.
19:10 –Principle 3: Look Upward
20:33 –How do I maintain vision?
21:49 –Principle 4: Press Forward.
22:33 –Learning to forgive quickly.
22:45 –Dr. Dave: Learning to stick it out.
24:02 –Fierce commitment.
25:00 –The 20% that drives you crazy.
26:20 –Getting our hearts right: How are you perceiving each other?
27:05 –Let’s Review: Turn Outward!
27:40 –How could my partner possibly love me?
28:20 –Let’s Review: Look Upward!
28:37 –Grow as you go.
29:02 –Let’s Review: Press Forward!
29:21 –Love fluctuates, commitment should never waiver.
30:48 –Nothing is ever wasted.
31:13 –Takeaways & Wrap up.
Links:
“Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness,” by Dr. Blaine Fowers
https://www.viacharacter.org/
“How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It,” by Pat Love and Steve Stosny
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
podcast.strongermarriage.org
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this week’s episode, Stacy Goulding, shares her unique perspective on true intimacy. Whether you are a newlywed excited to kickstart your marriage in the bedroom, a parent hoping to better prepare your teen or adult child for healthy marital intimacy, or simply ready to deepen your own intimate relationship, there is something here for you!
0:0 – Introduction: Who is Stacy Goulding?
1:04 –What is intimacy? What to expect in the True Intimacy Class?
3:30 –How do I talk to my adult kids about marital intimacy?
5:48 –What happens when marital intimacy gets off on the wrong foot?
6:40 –Avoiding unnecessary pain: the True Intimacy Class
8:50 –Why is it necessary to startfamily planning conversations early?
9:53 –Turning “the talk” into a conversation.
11:11 –Not an expert? Try this.
12:23 –Talking to kids about sex: How early is too early?
14:25 –Recurring negative sexual experiences: What are they? How do we stop them? 16:52 –Honeymoon expectations: What should I talk about with my partner?
18:55 –Bring these 2 things to your wedding night!
20:00 –Learning to laugh together.
21:06 –Consent is not constant.
26:03 –Who is sex for?
29:05 –Where can I find Stacy?
Stacey Goulding is a licensed Health Educator, the creator of the True Intimacy class, and a wellness coach specializing in women and post-partum wellness. She also loves cycling, dancing, kayaking, pickle-ball, and classic rock. She resides in Utah with her husband and two sons.
Links:
https://www.trueintimacyclass.com
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
podcast.strongermarriage.org
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this week’s episode, Dr. Bill Doherty, explains the importance of both boundaries and intimacy in avoiding the consumer marriage. He describes how you can avoid the dangers of believing you are a marriage expert, detect harmful marital therapy, navigate marital difficulties as a novice, and ultimately commit to your marriage.
0:0 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?
3:00 – Will 40-50% of marriages really end in divorce?
4:05 – What’s the danger in acting like a marriage expert?
9:54 – The value of commitment in 21stcenturymarriages.
14:58 – What’s the difference between helpful & harmful marriage therapy?
23:00 – How can I be married for life? Two powerful ingredients.
27:00 – The consumer marriage & Marital First Responders.
30:20 – What motivated Bill’s book “Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart”?
34:17 – How do marital rituals create and sustain happy marriages?
39:12 – Takeaways& the consumer marriage: What about deal breakers?
About:
Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on navigating marital crisis, avoiding divorce, and using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. He is the author of“ The Intentional Family” and “Take Back Your Marriage”. In recent years Bill has taken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiative working to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. dohertyfoundation.org. Check out “Insights and Invites” on the Stronger Marriage Connection webpage for key episode takeaways and tips on how to improve your marriage connection today!
Links:
https://dohertyfoundation.org
https://braverangels.org
https://maritalfirstresponders.org
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
https://strongermarriage.org
podcast.strongermarriage.org
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The doctors are in the house! In this introductory episode, meet Dr. Dave Schramm, a family life professor and extension specialist at Utah State University, and co-host Dr. Liz Hale, licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Dave and Liz interview each other and share their backgrounds and expertise in their fields. Dave also explains the why of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast and goal of the show.
Let's go!
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
podcast.strongermarriage.org
Dr. Dave Schramm:
https://drdaveschramm.com
https://drdavespeaks.com
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU
https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage
Facebook Marriage Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Facebook Parenting Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.