Miss-Connection Summit: Recent Episodes
Dr Justin Coulson
Listen to the Miss-Connection Summit anytime, anywhere on your favourite podcast app. Ten people who are experts in different challenges your daughter’s facing - whether it’s drugs, body image, anxiety, or self-perception - will show you how to help your daughter in a safe, positive way. But most importantly, Miss-connection will show you how to connect with your daughter the way she needs you to.
Join Dr Justin Coulson for a bonus Miss-connection Q&A session.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.21 Justin introduces Taryn
01.54 The issue of body image in girls
04.56 We were not designed to hate our bodies
05.58 Is there a difference in body image issues between boys and girls?
07.24 Body image influences social groups, identity, and social media
08.58 Beauty is heavily influenced by society
10.42 Beauty has nothing to do with how someone looks
12.19 How do we stop kids from losing their perception of true beauty?
14.16 Be the role model for fun
16.07 Justin and Kylie's first date
18.29 Eat the chicken and chips!
19.16 How do we teach our girls that our bodies aren't ornaments?
23.19 What is beauty?
25.04 The way we treat others is beauty
26.34 How to frame the conversation of beauty with our daughters
27.35 Should you tell your kids they're overweight?
29.48 Shaming our kids because of weight tells them that they are not worthy
32.12 Don't ever comment on weight loss or weight gain again
34.57 How to step into acceptance of your body?
39.18 The changes that can come from "embracing" your body
41.17 The lens your kids will see their bodies through
43.04 Have fun with your body!
44.25 Summary of key points
44.52 Final message from Taryn
Taryn BrumfittTaryn Brumfitt is an internationally recognised keynote speaker and the fiercely passionate thought leader behind The Body Image Movement. Through ‘solution based’ activism, speaking engagements and media appearances worldwide, Taryn is dedicated to spreading the message that our bodies are more than ornaments – they are the vehicles to achieving our dreams.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.20 Justin introduces Martine
01.20 How much screen time is too much?
02.15 What are they doing with their screen time?
03.56 What effect is screen time having on your child?
05.03 What are they missing out on?
06.58 The difference between screen use in boys & girls
09.20 The impact of social media on our girls
13.42 Social media pile-on
15.04 How do our daughters deal with media pile-on's?
16.20 Role play to walk your daughter through
20.45 When a comment becomes personal & "judgey", we need to be able to take a step back
21.17 So much of what happens on social media is pointless
21.43 Emotional vortex
22.15 Instead of replying on social media, connect in person
24.32 Take a step back and think before posting
25.37 Risks of using social media
26.45 How to set up our girls for success on social media
28.05 No screens in bedrooms late at night
28.42 Make sure you have plenty of time without screens during the day
29.13 We need to set up a house in a way that mirrors the values we want
31.05 Have a conversation about why you have screen rules
32.44 Look at what's important to you as a family
33.13 Try to just ween it back a little bit
34.19 Teaching our girls to build boundaries
36.37 Positive ways that we can use our devices and/or social media
39.49 How should parents respond when things go wrong?
41.45 Conversations more than consequences
42.23 Take home message
Martine OglethorpeMartine Oglethorpe is a speaker, author, educator and Trusted eSafety Provider with the Office of the eSafety Commission. She has a background in secondary education, a Masters in Counselling and most importantly, is mother to 5 boys. Through her personal and professional work with families she recognises the important role technology plays in the social and emotional wellbeing of young people.
Martine is a keynote speaker for parenting and education conferences, presents to parent groups, works regularly with students and provides professional development to teachers. She has a passionate interest in helping schools and families safely navigate the modern world of parenting in a way that offers understanding, as well as practical and realistic strategies to empower parents and schools to teach, guide and support their children, students and communities. Her new book The Modern Parent: Raising a great kid in the digital world is out now and can be purchased from the website themodernparent.net.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.12 Dr Justin Coulson introduces Michelle Mitchell & her books
01.24 What exactly is self harm?
02.09 Stress + Something = Relief for all of us
02.40 Self harm appeals to children in middle school because they have such intense emotions
02.58 Young people can binge drink to self harm
04.01 The aim is to help our young girls move through their intense emotions
04.55 A gender divide
06.30 Why are teens today struggling more than teens in the past?
07.25 There is very much a copycat or contagious element to self harm
08.15 Percentages of teens self harming
09.05 You don’t see what you’re not looking for
10.27 A lack of connection
10.51 Self harm is often linked to poor mental health & family instability
11.28 Look for a sense of joy in the child’s life
12.32 Giving emotions movement
13.05 Nervous bystander energy
13.53 Sometimes the girls that look okay on the outside are the ones that are not disrupting the system
14.02 Polar opposites of trust and control & fear
15.14 Contagion. Should we talk about self harm?
16.50 How do we bring up the conversation?
17.40 Their initial exposure to the topic has got so much to do with how they build on that in the future
18.40 How do parents help?
19.06 Three reasons why children self harm & the needs they’re trying to meet. Connection, understanding & a sense of protection.
20.41 Make sure kids know that you’re showing up as the bigger person & that there’s nothing they can throw at you that you can’t handle.
23.38 How do you get a child to talk?
24.55 Self harm is notorious for being very difficult for girls to talk about
25.10 When we allow young people to make mistakes, we allow opportunity for growth
26.05 Create a consistent routine
29.29 Baby steps
30.23 Pro self harm spaces on the internet
32.11 Using the internet to self regulate & social media to self soothe
33.03 When our children are really in danger, part of what we have to do as parents is step up and be protective
34.17 What do you do when you’ve got a child who is refusing to ‘get help’?
35.09 Zoom out, rather than zoom in. Look at them holistically and try and tip the scales in their favour
35.30 “You deserve support right now”
35.45 Suggest a trial period
36.14 Appeal to their sense of compassion
36.48 Leave the door open
37.47 Relationships work better when it’s 50/50
38.20 We don’t want to squash the sense of compassion but we want them to turn the sense of nurturing back onto themselves
40.24 Armed with a few more tools for today, tomorrow can be so much easier
42.43 BONUS TIPS: Create a coping kit, paper chains, & fake tattoos
Michelle MitchellMichelle Mitchell is an award-winning speaker, and bestselling parenting author. She has been termed ‘the teenage expert’ by the media and is sought after for her compassionate and grounded advice for parenting tweens and teens. Michelle started her career as a teacher, but soon discovered a special interest in wellbeing. She left teaching in 2000 and founded Youth Excel, a ‘boutique’ health promotion charity which delivered tailor made life skills programs and psychological services to thousands of young people and their families each year. Today she uses her experience to write and speak in schools, community events and through media.
Self-harm is distressing and difficult for parents and caring adults to understand, as it seems to go against every instinct of self-protection and survival.
Author, educator and award-winning speaker Michelle Mitchell has over 20 years’ experience working with and supporting children, parents and carers as they navigate this confronting mental health concern.
In this book and audio presentation Michelle combines her experience with the latest research and interviews with experts and families to provide fresh insights into how to prevent, understand and respond to self-harm and digital self-harm.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.20 Justin introduces Jodi
01.20 What is anxiety?
02.20 Physiological reaction example
04.12 When does anxiety become a problem?
06.08 Symptoms of dysfunctional anxiety
08.15 Anxiety affects what they think, feel, and do
10.15 Do children become really defiant and angry if anxiety is high?
12.05 Where do kids get their anxiety from?
15.02 Why are girls more prone to anxiety than boys?
17.15 How is anxiety different from perfectionism?
18.40 Jodi’s encounter with perfectionism in her son
21.54 Using the question, ‘Is it helpful?’
23.39 What to do if your child is feeling anxious
24.20 Sleep and anxiety
26.35 What to use to help kids who are struggling to sleep
29.00 Nutrition and anxiety
31.02 Food affects the microbiome in the gut
33.11 Stressors
34.33 A little bit of stress is healthy
35.28 Stressors are different for all people
36.24 Check your stress temperature
38.15 Modelling and anxiety
39.42 What else can help children manage their anxiety?
40.15 Breathing
41.40 Help kids discover what works for them
42.33 What do I actually do when my child is feeling anxious?
Dr Jodi Richardson Through my work as a speaker, author and educator...
I share practical, evidence-based insights, strategies and skills to help parents, educators and other professionals, and the children in their lives, find freedom from anxiety, fulfil their potential and thrive.
I’m best known for my compassion which stems from my experiences living with anxiety from such a young age. The wonderful people I work with, and for, typically comment that as I share understanding, strategies and skills to help with anxiety, in parallel with some of my own experiences, they know they’re learning from someone who knows anxiety both personally and professionally, and cares deeply about making a difference in people’s lives.
I combine nine years of university study with more than twenty years of professional work in education, clinical practice and elite sport. Through this, and my lived experience, I’ve seen it all, heard it all, felt it all, and flourished through it all. My sincere ambition is to assist others to flourish too.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.17 Justin introduces Madonna
01.00 The good news of dads and daughters
02.44 The power of a physical relationship between father & daughter
03.11 The power a father has to build his daughter's self-confidence
05.23 Finding your niche with your daughter
07.28 Engaging in sport together
09.35 Life outcomes when dad is involved in their daughters' life
13.27 Role modelling a good relationship
15.06 The traditional role of dads
17.18 Dad is good at not being overly involved
20.21 A father's role as a 'protector'
23.37 Do dad's do a lot of 'emotional labour'?
25.39 Where dads can do better
26.59 Being vulnerable
30.00 Build a 'daughter' plan
31.48 Justin's story of vulnerability with his daughter
36.07 Summary of the discussion so far
37.05 What to do if they don't have a dad in their life?
39.38 How and where to start?
41.16 Madonna's final advice
Madonna King Madonna King's work as a journalist, author and speaker spans politics, business and social policy. She has chaired panels around Australia, written 12 books and advises corporations and governments on understanding teenage girls, the subject of her two most recent books, Being 14 and Fathers and Daughters and her latest book Ten-ager , released on 27 Jan 2021.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.20 Justin introduces Turia Pitt
02.30 What Turia was like as a little girl
03.23 Turia's experiences growing up
04.18 Why being stubborn and determined was difficult 'especially for a girl'
06.32 Praise your kids for their strong qualities
07.28 Movement and exercise
09.07 Turia and Justin discuss nicknames
10.07 Turia's education history
12.49 Doing hard things
14.59 Turia shares her story with the ultra-marathon grass fire
17.18 How Turia mentally got through her recovery
19.46 Positive self-talk
22.29 Treat yourself with compassion
24.27 Turia's life after the fire
27.46 Turia's accomplishments
29.27 Self-confidence and feeling like you are 'enough'
33.31 Connection and helping others
35.48 Movement helps to improve self-esteem
36.32 Advice to those who are having a tough time
38.46 Advice for parents of teen and tween girls
40.42 Invite them to join you in conversations about life
42.26 The mother-daughter relationship
Turia PittTuria Pitt is living proof that, with the right mindset, anything is possible. Caught in a grassfire while competing in a 100km ultramarathon in 2011, Turia suffered burns to 65% of her body. But surviving is the least of her achievements. One of Australia’s most admired and widely recognised people, Turia has gone on to become a bestselling author, two-time Ironman and humanitarian - raising well over a million dollars for not-for-profit Interplast. Through her online presence, books and online programs, Turia has inspired millions to live with more confidence, conquer their fears and chase down their wildest dreams.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.06 Dr Justin Coulson introduces Paul Dillon
01.05 Statistically most of our teens will get through adolescence without even touching drugs
01.25 How old are our kids when drugs begin to become an issue?
02.36 The number one thing you need to get right at the beginning is alcohol
03.40 The longer we can delay alcohol consumption, the healthier their life outcomes are
05.05 We now know, and the message is very clear - delay, delay, delay
05.35 The Mediterranean Effect & why it's wrong
06.39 Research by UNSW
08.10 When teens are around their peers, the reward increases
08.46 At what ages are kids beginning to drink alcohol?
09.40 Teens in year 10 are beginning to drink
10.20 Parental monitoring starts to slip
11.40 Percentage of teens consuming alcohol
12.50 We have the highest number of non-drinkers we've ever seen in this country
13.26 Younger children who decide to drink generally have other issues going on
15.00 Are less popular teens also less likely to drink?
15.57 Why do 14 year old teen girls start drinking? Attention from older boys.
17.23 Kids who just don't fit in also tend to begin drinking
18.20 Smoking & vaping
18.45 We have some of the lowest smoking rates in the world
19.20 Smoking is culturally inappropriate right now
20.58 Nicotine dependence
21.25 What is vaping?
23.10 Vaping with other drugs, ie cannabis, cocaine, heroine
25.05 Vapes being sold in primary schools
26.48 Underage children getting exposure and access to alcohol & drugs via social media
29.15 The ease of purchasing drugs & alcohol online
30.40 Teens talking in emojis
31.55 What conversations should parents be having with their tweens/teens?
34.05 A lack of respect for drugs
34.37 Having teen's specialist's have conversations with them about their specific medication
35.30 Speak about alcohol & drugs while watching tv/movies with your teens
38.15 Talking about the positives and the negatives of hard drugs
40.05 Don't ask teens about their personal use. Ask about their friends.
42.40 Don't ask your teen a question that you don't want the answer to
45.17 What to do when your child discloses to you that they're using alcohol/drugs
49.44 Using terms like right & wrong or good & bad tend to inflame situations with teens
50.12 Create a list of things you want & things your teen wants & discuss together
54.57 Don't wait to get help
Paul Dillon Paul Dillon is the Director and founder of DARTA and he is passionate about ensuring that the community has access to accurate and up-to-date alcohol and other drug information.
Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia (DARTA) aims to provide education and training expertise as well as high quality research assistance on a wide range of alcohol and other drug issues.
DARTA specialises in providing education and training to a wide range of audiences and can tailor presentations to suit any agency’s requirements in the area of alcohol and other drugs. Each year, we present education sessions to hundreds of school communities right across Australia, delivering information to students, teachers and parents.
In addition, DARTA has also been asked to present to a wide variety of community groups and organisations at conferences, seminars and workshops both nationally and internationally.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.15 Justin introduces Rebecca
01.17 How do girls and boys do relationships differently?
03.37 Girls are more relationally aggressive
04.52 Media is affecting girls’ drama cyclones at younger and younger ages
07.10 The more relational aggression in the media, the more relationally aggressive the girls are
08.15 Why do girls struggle so much in their friendships?
09.50 Best friend behaviour is partly driven by certainty
10.45 Women have a habit of using gossip as a bonding tool
12.59 Go on lots of dates to learn about relationships
14.05 The culture of the “best friend” in the school yard
16.24 Encourage them to have friends outside of the school bubble
17.54 The power of positive connections
18.39 How to help your daughter create positive relationships
21.36 5 characteristics of a good friendship
24.10 Friendship is performative on social media
26.01 Happy Families member question
28.34 A good friendship is built with time and effort
33.41 Trust
34.28 When is my friendship enough?
36.02 Is choosing to not connect with friends a problem?
39.04 Allowing self to be seen at school is going to make you feel better
39.57 Feeling known and numbered
41.18 Take the time to build positive connections
42.49 How do you successfully leave a friendship group?
45.47 What is at the heart of the best friendships?
48.00 Keep a high standard of what friendship is to you
Rebecca SparrowOver the past 25 years Rebecca Sparrow has earned a living as a travel writer, a television publicist, a marketing executive, a magazine editor, a TV scriptwriter, a radio producer, a newspaper columnist and as an author.
She is the author of three best-selling novels The Girl Most Likely, The Year Nick McGowan Came to Stay and Joel and Cat Set The Story Straight (co-authored with Nick Earls). Since 2009 Rebecca has focused on writing non-fiction books for teenage girls to help them navigate those tricky high school years. Those books include Find Your Tribe (and 9 other things I wish I’d known in high school); Find Your Feet (The 8 things I Wish I’d Known Before I Left High School) and the best-selling Ask Me Anything (heartfelt answers to 65 anonymous questions from teenage girls).
Aside from writing books Rebecca writes for Mamamia, co-hosted two seasons of the award-winning health and happiness podcast The Well with good friend Robin Bailey and plays Agony Aunt to teenagers across the country on the Ask Me Anything podcast. She also talks to thousands of high school students (and their parents!) every year about friendship, resilience, giving back and how to have a more positive experience online. Rebecca is an ambassador for The Pyjama Foundation and Suncorp’s #TeamGirls initiative. In 2018 she was invited to sit on the Queensland Government’s Anti-Bullying Taskforce.
Rebecca lives in Brisbane with her husband Brad and her three young children.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Timestamps00.19 Justin introduces Ginni
01.11 How are parents going with talking to their kids about puberty?
02.10 When should a parent begin puberty conversations?
04.22 How could a parent bring up the puberty conversation in a safe way?
05.58 Justin's embarrassing story
07.31 What kind of questions do girls worry about?
09.00 Ginni shares her kids' experience
10.16 How do parents start a conversation about their children's bodies?
12.45 Have the hard conversation early
14.33 How to talk to your daughters about weight gain?
17.36 Girls are more likely to say that they are fat
19.22 How does Ginni help girls that worry that they are fat?
22.46 Anorexia and healthy fat
24.40 How do parents talk to their girls about periods?
25.49 What is a period?
28.20 The pill
30.31 "It must be that time of the month"
32.04 Concerning signs of the period
33.50 Does pre-menstrual stress exist?
37.35 Dealing with hormones and PMS
39.22 Acne
42.53 What is the difference between pimples and acne?
44.25 Should I pop pimples?
47.18 Vegan diets, eating disorders, and healthy eating
50.02 Where to go for help
Ginni Mansberg6 Children, a busy GP practice and TV commitments is enough to slow most people down, but not Dr Ginni Mansberg, one of Australia's most trusted health and wellbeing experts.
A well respected GP for more than 20 years and currently working in general practice in Sydney’s San Souci, Ginni is a specialist in the areas of parenting, women’s, children’s and general health, seeing everyone from newborns through to their great grandparents.
Beyond the practice, Ginni is a regular on TV as host of Foxtel’s Embarrassing Bodies Australia, Channel 7’s resident GP on Sunrise and The Morning Show, and expert on SBS’s Medicine or Myth.
She is a proud ambassador for Barnardos’ Mother of the Year, sits on the Advisory Board of the Australian Cervical Cancer Foundation and is a supervisor in the Medical facility at the University of Notre Dame.
Having completed a Graduate Diploma of Journalism at UTS, she is also an accomplished writer and has worked extensively as a medical journalist, contributing regular feature articles and columns for a range of consumer and trade publications.
She has three books under her belt including her best seller, ‘Why am I so Tired?’ and is a recognised speaker, sought after as an authority on everything from sleep to beating stress, wellness, life balance and a range of general health and medical related topics, each delivered with her customary sense of humour.
She is refreshingly real and honest, knowledgeable and engaging, modern and upfront in her thinking.
Ginni says being a GP and sharing in the lives of her patients keeps her grounded and it’s her warmth, together with her sane and practical advice and her ability to tackle the sometimes difficult health questions head on, that make her popular with patients and audiences alike.
Describing her family as her greatest achievement, Ginni is also a wife and mum in a blended family of eight, a role that she describes as giving her the inspiration, joy and no doubt endless stories to share with everyday Australians.
drginni.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Trying to guide a teenage daughter through a complex adolescent world is… well, complicated. Alcohol and drugs, mental health concerns, body image issues, premature and/or non-consensual intimacy, and friendship challenges are just the tip of the iceberg.
Join me as I unpack the science and provide practical real world advice for parenting your teenage daughter. You’ll leave this presentation with simple and valuable tools and techniques to help you guide our daughters safely and successfully through adolescence.
You’ll discover what is really going on in the minds of our teenage daughters – how do they really feel and what do they wish you knew? Find out how we can stay connected to our daughters and keep them motivated, whilst also dealing with the eye-rolls and bad attitude. We’ll talk about how we can keep them safe and informed without them pushing us away; and how to encourage them to develop strong, healthy relationships and resilience, plus we’ll cover the best things we can do to support our daughters during this tumultuous time.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.