Every Other Weekend: Recent Episodes
Allison and Jennifer
They have the kids every other weekend and you don't know what to do with all the feelings and challenges that gets stirred up when you're blending your family. We know - we've lived it. We've figured some things out so you don't have to. And now no one knows what to do with us. Are we lesbians? Sisters? Nope. Jennifer's married to Allison's ex husband, we became BFFs and now we're hosting this podcast. Curious how this works? Follow us for candid conversations between Allison and Jennifer to learn how to co-parent gracefully without losing your mind. Expect some laughter, tears and new perspectives on old stereotypes. So tune in every week and leave your shit at the door.
Welcome to this week's episode where we're unpacking more than just school backpacks---we're diving into the invisible load our kids carry. Here's the scoop:
- What's the Deal with Mental Load? Ever wonder why your kid seems more like a mini CEO managing a startup rather than enjoying childhood? We'll break down what mental load really means for your little ones.
- Spotting the Signs: Is your child just moody, or are they weighed down by mental clutter? We'll chat about the signs that scream 'help!' so you can spot the difference.
- Chit-Chat Tips: Want to get your kids talking after just "fine" and "nothing"? We've got some cheeky yet effective ways to get the real scoop on how they're feeling and managing their busy little lives.
- Decluttering the Mind: Tips and tricks that even the busiest bees can use to kick stress to the curb. From organizing schoolwork to finding zen in the chaos, we're here to share it all.
- Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: It takes a village, right? We'll talk about rallying the troops---from siblings to teachers---to support your kiddo in spreading the mental load more evenly.
Tune in and turn up the fun as we help you help your kids find their happy, stress-less groove!
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This week we explore one of our more complex topics, Parental Alienation, not from personal experience but with a commitment to raise awareness. Join us as we delve into what parental alienation involves, its effects, what to look for, and how to address it.
Key Highlights:
- Definition and Impact: We begin by defining parental alienation and discussing its potential long-term effects on children and family dynamics.
- Our Motivation: Why this topic matters to us and should matter to you, even if you are not directly affected.
- Recognizing the Signs: Key indicators of parental alienation from expert perspectives, aiming to equip our listeners with the knowledge to spot early signs.
- Strategies for Prevention: Practical advice on preventing parental alienation and fostering healthy relationships within families.
- Expert Insights: Insights from psychologists and family therapists on managing and preventing parental alienation effectively.
Resources:
Dr. Amy J.L. Baker: https://www.amyjlbaker.com/
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Join us for this week's episode as we navigate the tricky waters of severing ties with in-laws post-divorce. With a sprinkle of sass and a dash of humor, we discuss the emotional complexities and the practical steps to moving on after a split.
In This Episode, You'll Discover:
· Strategies for Disconnecting: Learn effective ways to handle relationships with former in-laws, ensuring you maintain peace and move forward with grace.
· Personal Stories: Our hosts share their experiences and the nuanced challenges they faced with their own in-laws after divorce.
· Expert Advice: Gain insights from our guest expert on maintaining healthy boundaries and managing the changes with confidence and care.
Highlights:
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The Initial Disconnect: How to start the conversation about boundaries with your former in-laws.
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Dealing with Mutual Gatherings: Tips on handling social situations like birthdays and holidays post-divorce.
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Maintaining Connections with Children Involved: Strategies for managing the relationship between your children and their grandparents without strain.
Don't forget to follow us on social media for more updates and behind-the-scenes content! Join our community, share your experiences, and get exclusive content by following us on social media and becoming a patreon. And if you love the show, please leave us a review on Apple or Spotify; it really helps us reach more listeners like you!
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Welcome back, sun seekers and savvy co-parents, to another sizzling episode of our podcast, where we dive deep into the heat of summer vacation planning amidst the complexities of co-parenting. This episode isn't just about the logistics; it's about leaving our own shit at the door in favor of some serious summer vibes with our kiddos.
Episode Highlights:
· Navigating Co-Parenting: Summer is upon us, and with it comes the challenge of co-parenting through vacation plans. We discuss strategies for smooth planning, ensuring both parents get quality time with the kids.
· From Basketball Courts to European Escapades: Whether it's a weekend in a gym or a trip across the pond, we cover how to balance kids' activities and parent preferences without turning it into a competition.
· The Art of Negotiation: It's all about striking a balance. We explore how divorced parents can collaborate to create memorable vacations, emphasizing the importance of focusing on what truly enriches the children's lives.
· Real-Life Co-Parenting Wins: From shared Disney days to European adventures, hear how real parents have successfully managed to turn potentially conflicting schedules into collaborative opportunities for their kids.
Don't miss our upcoming episodes where we continue to unravel the joys and jitters of parenting with a twist of fun and practical advice. We've got more personal stories, expert tips, and maybe even a giveaway or two lined up for you!
Stay Connected: Follow us on social media to get the latest updates, behind-the-scenes sneak peeks, and engage in our community challenges. Let's keep the conversation going!
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So, grab your sunscreen and your sense of humor, and let's make this summer a blast, co-parenting style! Tune in, subscribe, and turn on those notifications for more delightful and insightful episodes from us. See you next time under the sun!
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In this week's episode, Allison and Jennifer navigate the complex journey from apologies to forgiveness, examining the delicate balance between accepting apologies and the personal act of forgiving. They candidly share their experiences and insights into how apologies without behavior change impact relationships, the difference between forgiving and forgetting, and the intricate process of reconciliation. Through the conversation, they explore how accepting an apology serves the one who offers it, while forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves to release the weight of past grievances and embrace a lighter, more liberated existence.
Highlights:
- The Pizza Incident Revisited: Revisiting past episodes, Allison and Jennifer delve into real-life examples of apologies and the impact of behavior change (or lack thereof) on forgiveness.
- Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: A thoughtful discussion on distinguishing between forgiving someone and reconciling with them, emphasizing that forgiveness is an internal process of letting go, while reconciliation involves mutual trust restoration.
- The Power of No Expectations: They explore the idea that setting boundaries and releasing expectations are crucial for moving past hurt and building healthier relationships.
- Accepting Apologies: The duo reflects on how accepting an apology is more about acknowledging the effort of the person apologizing rather than condoning their actions.
Don't miss this profound conversation on forgiveness, reconciliation, and the power of moving forward. Tune in on your favorite podcast platform and stay connected with us for more insightful episodes. Follow us on social media, subscribe to our podcast on your preferred platform, and don't forget to sign up for our updates at www.everyotherweekendposcast.com.
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In this laugh-out-loud, soul-baring episode, we tackle the heavy yet universal topic of apologies, wrapped in our signature blend of humor and candor. From the hilarious beginning, where Jennifer becomes self-conscious about her "good good" response, to diving deep into the complexities of apologizing, particularly when behavior doesn't change, this episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, insights, and laughter.
Highlights:
- This week the conversation is both relatable and enlightening, touching on personal quirks, a healthy debate on explanations for our misguided behavior, and the challenging dynamics of apologies in relationships.
- We discuss what makes an apology sincere, including the crucial step of behavior change, and offer listeners not just entertainment but valuable life lessons.
- Memorable moments include our discussion on the vulnerability of apologizing making the comparison of the difficulty of apologies to the vulnerability of sex
This is a must-listen episode highlighting the importance of acknowledging wrongdoing, expressing genuine remorse, and most importantly, following up with concrete behavior change.
Stay engaged with the "Every Other Weekend" community by following, rating, and reviewing our podcast on your favorite platform. Connect with us on social media and on Patreon for more behind-the-scenes content, updates, and to join our vibrant community. Your thoughts and experiences with apologies are welcome---let's continue the conversation!
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🍷 Episode Overview: Buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving into the chaotic, messy desktop that is life in this episode. Allison and Jennifer are back at it, spilling tea (and maybe some wine) on everything from cabin retreats to the existential dread of unappreciated household labor. If you've ever felt like you're juggling more tabs in your brain than your browser can handle, this one's for you.
🌟 Key Moments You Can't Miss:
- The Cabin Chronicles: Allison kicks things off with a tale of her latest retreat to the cabin, a saga complete with window-covering dilemmas and the peaceful acceptance of potentially meeting her maker surrounded by nature (and a pile of unread books).
- Vacation or Sleep Therapy?: Jennifer shares her cruise adventures, or rather, her luxurious naps aboard the ship. It's like sleep therapy, but with better views and a chance of winning a bingo game.
- FOMO vs. YOLO: Dive into the great debate of staying in to catch those Z's versus going out and living it up. Spoiler alert: sometimes the best nightlife is a nightlight and your comfiest pajamas.
- The Great Spatula Incident: A dramatic tale of dinner preparations gone awry. Witness the horror of a perfectly clean cookie sheet tarnished by a sauce-laden spatula. It's a crime against cleanliness, folks.
- Mental Load - Too Many Tabs Open: Ever feel like your brain's running more tabs than a 2009 laptop with dial-up internet? Our hosts delve into the mental load phenomenon, sharing their struggles with keeping life, work, and sanity in separate, manageable tabs.
🔥 Why You Need to Listen: This isn't just another podcast episode; it's a survival guide for the weary soul navigating the rough seas of adulthood. Allison and Jennifer are your sassy captains, equipped with life jackets of wisdom and an inflatable raft of humor. Whether you're seeking validation, advice, or just a good laugh, "Too Many Tabs, Not Enough Wine" is your beacon in the fog of life's craziness.
🎧 Tune In If:
- You've ever silently screamed into the void while attempting to adult.
- You appreciate the therapeutic value of a good vent session (with or without wine).
- You're looking for a sign to close some of those tabs (literal or metaphorical) and focus on your own well-being for a change.
Remember, life's too short to drink bad wine or waste time on things that don't spark joy. So pour yourself a glass, hit play, and let's toast to conquering those tabs, one sassy step at a time. 🥂
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This week, we delve into the deeply personal and transformative journey of rediscovering friendship after divorce. Divorce can feel like a solitary path, but it also opens the door to new relationships and the rekindling of old ones. Join us as we explore how to navigate the complexities of friendships post-divorce, the importance of community, and the steps to building a supportive network that resonates with the person you are becoming.
Episode Highlights:
- The Impact of Divorce on Friendships: Understanding how divorce can shift the dynamics of existing friendships and the emotional toll it can take.
- Building New Connections: Practical tips and advice for meeting new people who align with your current life phase and interests.
- Nurturing Existing Relationships: How to maintain and deepen friendships that have stood the test of time, even as you evolve through your divorce.
- Self-Discovery Through Socialization: Embracing the opportunity for self-discovery and growth by expanding your social circle and trying new experiences.
Key Takeaways:
- Friendships after divorce can be a source of incredible support and understanding. It's crucial to be open to forming new connections.
- The quality of friendships often matters more than quantity. Focus on cultivating deep, meaningful relationships that provide mutual support.
- Engaging in activities and hobbies you love can be a natural way to meet like-minded individuals.
- Self-care and setting boundaries are essential as you navigate the journey of rebuilding your social life post-divorce.
Recommendations:
- Activities: Join clubs, groups, or classes that align with your interests to meet new people.
- Reading: Explore books on personal growth and rebuilding after significant life changes.
- Mindfulness: Incorporate practices that foster self-reflection and emotional healing, such as meditation, journaling, or therapy.
We'd Love to Hear from You!
How have you navigated friendship after divorce? Share your stories and insights with us on Facebook or Instagram @everyotherweekendpodcast or email us at hello@eowpodcast.com. Your experiences can inspire and comfort others walking a similar path.
Subscribe to Every Other Weekend on our website for more heartfelt discussions on moving forward and finding joy in the aftermath of life's challenges. Until next time, remember: every ending is a new beginning.
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In this episode, we dive into the gloriously messy, beautifully blended (and blended and blended!) life of Amy Scruggs - recording artist, media coach, bestselling author, and supermom to a lively, eclectic mix of kids and stepkids. With a laugh and a shrug, Amy shares her journey through love's many adventures, including three husbands (one current, folks, keep up!), co-parenting shenanigans, and the art of keeping the peace in a family that could rival a sitcom cast. Whether she's navigating wedding chaos with all her exes in tow or turning a graduation party into a casino night that brings everyone together, Amy's stories remind us that life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. Join us as we explore the long game of love, family, and the occasional need for shock therapy (kidding, kind of). This episode is a testament to the power of laughter, forgiveness, and the occasional group photo that looks more like a "Where's Waldo?" of life decisions. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and maybe feel a little better about your own family's holiday dinners.
To learn more about Amy visit: https://linktr.ee/amyscruggs
Don't forget to check out her music video! https://youtu.be/XNvsfuLUOCc
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Hey there, Weekenders! 🌟 Get ready to dive into an episode that's as refreshing as an iced latte on a scorching day - "The Power in Peace: Choosing Not to Engage in the Heat of the Moment." 🕊️✨ In today's world, where everyone's ready to throw down over the tiniest things, we're here to sprinkle some chill vibes and wisdom your way.
This week we’re unpacking why sometimes, the mightiest act of valor is to not engage. Ever been so riled up, you're ready to unleash the Kraken over a text or Facebook comment? Or maybe you're plotting a snarky comeback to that snide remark at work? Hold up, warrior! This episode is about checking egos at the door and deciding which hills to die on.
We're not just talking about biting your tongue. Oh no, it's about choosing battles so wisely, even Sun Tzu would take notes. 📝 From navigating the minefields of co-parenting without detonating World War III, to mastering the art of the graceful exit in family squabbles, we've got you covered.
Join us as we explore how keeping your cool can turn you from a right fighter into a "fight righter," and why sometimes, the most powerful statement is silence. Whether it's dodging drama with the finesse of a cat avoiding bath time or knowing when to let that snarky comment fly into the void unanswered, we're here to empower you with the art of peace.
So, if you're ready to learn how to keep your inner zen master front and center (even when you're internally screaming), tune in. Because remember, in the grand casino of life, you gotta know when to hold 'em, fold 'em, and walk away with your head held high. Let's get into it! 🎧💖
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In this special rerun episode, we dive deep into the importance of colorectal cancer awareness, sharing personal anecdotes, expert insights, and a candid discussion on the often-dreaded colonoscopy prep. March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, and this episode aims to demystify the process, share stories of personal connection to the cause, and underscore the importance of early screening.
What You'll Learn:
- The significance of Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month and its origins.
- Personal stories from the hosts and their connections to colorectal cancer.
- An in-depth look at colonoscopy prep, from the dietary restrictions to the emotional rollercoaster it can entail.
- The healthcare system's role in preventive care and the challenges posed by insurance coverage for screenings.
- Tips, advice and humor for those approaching their first colonoscopy, aiming to reduce anxiety and promote a proactive approach to health.
Special Mention:
This episode is dedicated to Michelle Gruner and Jeff Lucas, whose battles with colorectal cancer have inspired a deeper discussion and awareness.
We encourage our listeners to spread the word about colorectal cancer screening and prevention. If you or someone you know is over 45, talk to your doctor about getting screened. Early detection saves lives.
Resources & Links:
Colorectal Cancer Alliance: https://colorectalcancer.org/
Fight Colorectal Cancer: https://fightcolorectalcancer.org/
American Cancer Society: https://nccrt.org/
As we rerun this impactful episode for Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, we reflect on the stories shared, the laughs, and the vital message of early screening. Let's continue to spread awareness and support each other in health.
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In this week's rollercoaster of an episode, we saddle up with the ever-dazzling Hope with Holly for a deep dive into the exhilarating and sometimes tumultuous world of dating post-divorce. Yes, Weekenders, it's a wild ride through the romance rodeo, and you're all invited!
Key Highlights:
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Dating App Deep Dive: Holly spills the beans on the innovative dating app that's changing the game by ensuring your first interaction is face-to-face.
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The Age of Authenticity: Holly shares her candid experiences of dating after 40, the challenges of setting expectations, and the importance of being your authentic self.
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Sexual Real Talk: From frank discussions about sexual preferences to navigating the reality of physical intimacy post-40, nothing is off-limits.
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Embracing the Journey: Holly encourages embracing the dating journey, learning from each experience, and the importance of not rushing the process.
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Finding Your Fit: Just like finding the perfect shoe, Holly talks about the significance of finding a partner that complements your true self.
Connect with Holly:
For those looking to sprinkle a little Hope into their lives, Holly's wisdom is just a click away on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. Dive into her "Hope with Holly" platforms, and don't miss out on the chance to get her latest dating app recommendation – where your next first date could be your last first date.
Follow Holly or better yet, book a 30-minute Phone a Friend call with her! https://stan.store/HopeWithHolly
TikTok: @hopewithholly
Instagram: @hope_with_holly
Facebook: @HopeWithHollyCoach
YouTube: @hopewithholly
We Love to Hear from You:
Slide into our DMs with your thoughts, stories, and reactions. Your journey is part of our podcast tapestry, and every thread counts. Email us at hello@eowpodcast.com, or follow us on Instagram and Facebook for the latest updates and a behind-the-scenes look at the making of each episode.
Until next time, keep navigating your co-parenting adventures with heart, humor, and a little help from your friends at Every Other Weekend.
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Strap in, folks, for a rollercoaster of laughter, confessions, and unfiltered realness with your favorite coparents – Allison, Jen, and our amazing guest, the unforgettable Hope with Holly, a rising TikTok dating guru! In this Valentine's Day episode, we dive headfirst into the chaotic beauty of life's messiest moments, from dating disasters post-divorce to the art of embracing your inner sexy goddess. Holly shares her tumultuous journey from a constrained upbringing to becoming a beacon of hope and self-love, with detours through arranged marriages, the transformative power of therapy, and a quest for authentic connections.
Whether uncovering the complexities of attachment styles or navigating the wild world of dating over 40, it's never too late to rewrite your story. Expect belly laughs, jaw-dropping confessions, and maybe even a little pee-your-pants excitement as we tackle the Spartan race of life with sass, class (with a K), and a dash of rebellion. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that through the ups and downs, hope, love, and a good dose of humor can guide us home.
Follow Holly or better yet, book a 30-minute Phone a Friend call with her! https://stan.store/HopeWithHolly
TikTok: @hopewithholly
Instagram: @hope_with_holly
Facebook: @HopeWithHollyCoach
YouTube: @hopewithholly
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Welcome back Weekenders! Today we're diving into the messy world of divorce and co-parenting. Our guest is family law superstar Rachel King, a self-proclaimed "family drama" specialist.
We kick things off by reminiscing about Jen's ill-fated year of law school and her own divorce war stories. Rachel admits about 30% of her cases are fighting against outside "whispering." Sound familiar?
Rachel schools us on the realities of court - like how "Disneyland dads" don't actually impact custody. We gasp (and laugh) at Jen's admission of what she was looking for in a attorney…which she boldly shared during their consultation…
Key topics covered include understanding the court's view of "best interest of the child," the do's and don'ts of co-parenting, learning to separate emotions from legal strategy, and why you MUST consult an attorney before taking random advice.
For those in the trenches, Rachel offers hope - with effective co-parenting even high-conflict situations can resolve. But you have to do the work. Tune in to hear the hilarious ways her clients have both helped and sabotaged their own cases!
By the end, we gather invaluable intel on evaluating attorneys plus Rachel's top 3 tips for successful co-parenting. Huge thanks to our family law queens Jen and Rachel for their unfiltered conversations on a topic essential to so many families.
For more information on how to connect with Rachel King:
Facebook: @TheLawyerKing
Instagram:@TheLawyerKing
TikTok: @TheLawyerKing
Website: https://thelawyerking.com/
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We talked a real good game in the beginning of 2023. So how did we do?? In this episode, we review our 2023 intentions and discuss our progress. Some things we did great on, some we need some work. Jen figured out what went wrong with her vision board for 2023 and vows to improve it for 2024. Listen in to our honest assessment and some reframing for 2024. Maybe you'll be inspired to set some intentions, make a vision board, or come up with your own idea for making 2024 a great year!
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Throwback to the Pizza Incident in which Jen and Allison look back over the last year and discuss the other "Pizza Incidents" that have cropped up and how we try to avoid triangulation in our co-parenting relationship.
That time Allison played the role of a marriage counselor. When you redefine the relationship with your ex from spouse to friend, you can be and have a valuable resource when the dog gets out and you owe someone an apology.
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Throwback to when it all started (well, the podcast, at least). With a year of hindsight about this crazy idea we had, Jen and Allison talk about how the podcast's early beginnings have influenced their co-parenting over the last year.
That time (all of the times) we get asked about how this crazy family works. Allison gets asked one question, Jennifer gets asked another ("So what does Scott think about that?"). Why? Is it the patriarchy? Are we crazy? And how does Scott really feel about all this? Listen to find out!
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It can be tough getting through a holiday when you feel like you have no family, especially your kids. It’s extra tough when it’s your first time doing it. In this week’s episode, Jen and Allison talk about ways to celebrate the holiday season when you don’t have your kids. We’ve learned that if you open your mind to some other traditions and plan with intentionality, you can actually enjoy the variety of celebrating, in the more traditional ways with our children and in new ways that work for YOU in those “off” years. They may have a different feel, but that can be a good thing. And by expanding our definition of “family,” we may realize we’re not quite as alone as we think. We’ll be taking a brief holiday hiatus, but we’ll be replaying some our favorite episodes from Season 1, so we’ll still be around. Whatever you celebrate this holiday season, we hope it’s wonderful, joyous, and peaceful!
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If ever there was a time for the old adage “It’s a blessing and a curse,” it’s when we’re talking about social media and the internet. It helps busy moms who don’t have time to go up and down every aisle of the grocery store, it can help us stay connected with friends and family who live far away, and we sure appreciate using social media to let you, our listeners, know what’s going on with us! But it can also tempt us with some unhealthy behaviors, especially in situations where relationships have ended or coparenting isn’t going as smoothly as we’d like. Maybe we are following an ex’s social media sites and telling ourselves destructive narratives based on what we’re seeing. Maybe we’re caught up in comparisons and jealousy and seeing the carefully curated “best” pics online is adding fuel to that fire. But wait, there's more -- increased screen time affecting our sleep hygiene, the dopamine hits in our brains every time we get a “like,” and the distraction of social media that keeps us from being present in our ACTUAL LIFE. And if we’re struggling with managing what’s good and bad about about it, imagine how tough it is on our kids! We talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of social media in this episode. Because phones and tablets are such a popular gift idea for the holidays, it’s the perfect time to think about how social media impacts you and your family! Drop us an email or comment on – that’s right – our social media platforms and let us know what YOU think!
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This week, YOU decide what's on our agenda! We do our first Q&A, discussing some questions we've gotten from our listeners. Tune in! It might be your email we talk about, or you might have the same questions or issues as these listeners. We don't hold back! Thank you for giving us this chance to engage with you! If you've been thinking about sending an email with a question or opinion, now is the time! You might be our content for our next fan mail Q&A!
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Just in time for Thanksgiving, Jen and Allison watch WKRP in Cincinnati's "Turkeys Away" episode, AKA the turkey drop. We share some laughs, discuss some holiday TV traditions, and get a little nostalgic. Jen also fixates on Andy Travis' distracting bulge. (It was the 70s and pants were REALLY tight.) If you are driving to see friends or family or just need a little break from your hectic Thanksgiving prep, enjoy this lighthearted episode with us and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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Jen and Allison talk with Rebecca Whitman, The Magnetic Abundance Mentor! She helps women focus on 7 Pillars of Abundance - spiritual, physical, emotional, romantic, mental, social and financial. Creating harmony in these areas helps you live a balanced, beautiful, and abundant life. We talk about how these pillars impact our romantic relationships (including romantic/dating relationships and relationships with our coparents, our exes, and the rest of our family). She shares tips on managing relationships with a toxic ex by focusing on self-care and boundaries, staying positive, and not engaging in conflict. And Rebecca helps us shifting from a scarcity/fear mindset to an abundance mindset using the power of affirmations, visualization, and gratitude for manifesting desires. We also learn how to be "elegant warriors!" Intrigued by that? You won't want to miss this one, especially as we enter the busy (AKA stressful!) holiday season. And you may get some great ideas for things to focus on as we get ready to enter the new year!
Rebecca was selected as the Top Life Coach of the Year for 2022 by IAOTP (International Association of Top Professionals). If you'd like to learn more about Rebecca and how you can develop your seven pillars of abundance, go to www.rebeccaelizabethwhitman.com.
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We live in a culture where intellect and science are revered and feelings tend to be minimized and dismissed. But our emotions and gut instincts can provide valuable wisdom if we learn to trust them. Our intuition is inner wisdom that comes from accumulated life experiences, values, and innate knowledge. It's important to listen to your intuition when making big decisions. At the same time, we need to be aware that our traumas and our general avoidance of discomfort can shape our messaging. That means we need to acknowledge our feelings, but we can't always let them run the show. We need to be aware of other factors, like our attachment style or our love language, that might be influencing our gut reactions. Emotions like fear, anger, joy, etc. contain messages you need to hear. Don't ignore feelings - ask yourself what they are trying to tell you. Trust your gut. If something feels off, pay attention. Your subconscious may be noticing red flags your conscious mind misses. But be mindful that not all gut feelings should be trusted. Reflect on where the feeling is coming from. We unpack all of this via some feminist rants and online quizzes and manage to work in quite a few laughs as well!
Also, we encourage you to try an online quiz to better understand your attachment style and how that can be at play in your relationships. There's lots available, but this is the one Jen did live during the recording!
Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test (attachmentproject.com)
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If you listened last season, then you know that nothing brought up more angst for Jen and Allison than cuffing season. It's hard for Allison to go through it and hard for Jen to figure out how to best support her during this treacherous time. But this year, Allison is taking a different approach. She is pulling a Constanza. Like our friend George, she's going to do the opposite! In this episode, Allison explains she has been quietly dating over the summer and continues to learn about herself. She shares some brutally honest insights about herself including being self-aware of her attachment style and tendencies as an "anxious overthinker," setting boundaries, ignoring red flags, and learning from every person who crosses your path. Allison is brave and vulnerable and decides to date through cuffing season with clear boundaries. If you're single, listen in! You may decide you are up for this as well. And if you're not single, listen in anyway because we need to support our sisters being brave enough to dive into this hot mess of a dating pool!
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An incident with Thing 2 required consequences. So how do we manage that between our different households when there can be 3 different opinions about how to handle it? Whether coparenting after divorce or in a traditional family setting, consistency is an important part of parenting. It creates trust with your kids and your other coparents. Everyone knows what to expect and it can make transitions between households easier for the kids. But you don't want to confuse consistency with rigidity. We talk about all the subtleties that help you establish consistency, in one household or across multiple households. By staying focused on values and solutions, you can work collaboratively and create peace.
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Have you ever wondered how some couples manage to maintain a harmonious relationship for the sake of their children, even after their own bond has broken down? What if there was a way to prioritize the needs of children in such situations without compromising the personal space and happiness of each parent? This episode opens doors to an intriguing discussion with our guests Chris and Kathleen as they spill the beans on their unusual yet effective cohabitation solution, known as 'nesting.'
The episode is a fascinating journey into the practical side of 'nesting,' a legal term in divorce that Chris and Kathleen have adapted to suit their unique family dynamics. They share insights into their four-year marriage, one of which they've spent living together and the rest commuting between homes, all to ensure their children's comfort and stability. This episode isn't just a walkthrough of their journey, but an insightful exploration of the emotional and psychological effects of such an arrangement on both parents and kids. We bring light to some essential aspects of co-parenting - setting boundaries, creating a supportive environment, and dealing with the power dynamics that emerge due to disparate times spent with the children.
We wrap up the conversation touching upon a topic that often goes overlooked - explaining the concept of co-parenting to potential romantic partners. Chris and Kathleen's flexible approach and commitment to setting boundaries have been the bedrock of their successful 'nesting' model, but they admit that it's not always a cakewalk for potential partners to comprehend this. Whether you're interested in co-parenting, navigating a divorce, or simply intrigued by alternative parenting models, this episode promises to leave you with a fresh perspective on family dynamics and co-parenting. So tune in and get ready for an eye-opening discussion it's truly a mine of wisdom for anyone navigating the choppy waters of co-parenting and beyond.
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Navigating the intricate labyrinth of co-parenting can often feel like an uphill battle. What if there was a way to approach conflict mindfully, drawing from Buddhist principles, and using technology to our advantage? Brace yourselves as we delve into this crucial topic. Drawing from our personal experiences, we share anecdotes, from transitioning from a bustling house to a quiet one, to the amusing tale of how it takes a village to raise a child. The journey will remind you that parenting is constantly evolving, and intentionality is always key.
Ever wondered how power dynamics play out across different households in blended families and how they affect disagreements? We break this down, drawing from our own experiences that led to the birth of FunDad, an avenue to rebel against the feeling of constantly being wrong. Then we explore the double-edged sword that is technology in our communication landscape. We share tips on how to use the 'Do not disturb' function on our phones to manage conflicts better and discuss the role of read receipts on your children's phones.
Towards the end of the episode, we dive into the nitty-gritty of managing disagreements in co-parenting. We discuss the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflicts, the impact disagreements can have on children, and the importance of alternative dispute resolution. We also share insights on effective communication and the need to approach conversations with mindfulness, recognizing the emotions that bubble beneath the surface of tough conversations. Finally, we tie everything together by emphasizing the importance of actively managing conflicts, always putting the children's best interest at the center. So join us on this journey as we unravel the complexities of co-parenting.Support the show
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Last season in our episode "Dolla Dolla Bills, Y'all," we discussed some of the financial challenges you face going through a divorce and integrating a blended family as well as the messaging we tell ourselves about money. This season, we're bringing in some professional help to guide us! On this week's episode, we welcome Patti Handy who is a certified financial coach and published author who helps divorced, widowed, and single women take control of their finances. Patti has walked this road and with decades of experience as a financial advisor and a mortgage advisor, she is passionate about empowering women to manage their personal finances with confidence and competence. Don't miss this one! Patti offers 1:1 coaching, a "Minding Her Money" program that sets you up for success, and master classes on a variety of financial topics. More information about Patti and her program is available at www.pattihandy.com.
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Gwyneth and Chris brought us "conscious uncoupling." Jen and Allison are bringing you "conscious coparenting." We've realized that a lot of our conversations about parenting apply to ALL family situations, not just ones where there has been a divorce. And coparenting is definitely one of them! Regardless of relationship status, you set yourself up for parenting success when you stop making assumptions, quit expecting your coparent to read your mind, and have thoughtful, conscious discussions about your parenting plan. The truth is, ALL of us with kids are coparenting. We just tend to use that word exclusively in situations where there's been a divorce. What if we changed that thinking? What if we decided we all needed a parenting plan, not just people standing in front of a judge? And if we were more intentional about our parenting, would that result in less of us in standing in front of that judge in the first place? We discuss how marriages change once children are part of the equation, how to create more balanced and equitable parenting regardless of gender, and the importance of self-care and boundaries. Lastly, we look at the creation of 'parenting pillars' like safety, right, and compassion, and how these can guide our decisions and model values for our children. Let's rewrite the rules of co-parenting together!
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And we don't mean the delightful Disney movie here. We're talking about some very real challenges that parents may be struggling with, especially if their kids are dealing with mental health issues. It can feel very scary and isolating. It can be hard to find resources, so we're going to help you with that. On this episode, we talk with certified parent coach Andy Goldstrom, discussing everything from the stigma that prevents us from talking honestly and openly about mental health to techniques for coparenting more effectively, whether you are still married to that coparent or not. Andy provides us insights, shares his personal experiences, and creates a safe, nonjudgmental space for us to talk about moving from feeling parent trapped to parent prepared.
To learn more about Parent Coaching visit www.parentsjourneycoaching.net
Or contact andy@parentsjourneycoaching.net to schedule a free discovery call.
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Get ready for some "first day of school" vibes in this episode! Like friends seeing each other for the first time in a couple months, we catch you up on all our summer highlights, including a catastrophic incident involving fake eyelashes and an errant contact lens. We talk about how it is hot as balls here in North Texas. And then Allison makes a stunning reveal. There are also some exciting changes to the EOW website and socials as well as a sneak peek of some of the great content we have for you in Season Two. We're introducing Every Other Weekend-er challenges for you to try and an easy way to subscribe to EOW so you don't miss a thing! We're ready for an awesome second season and want you to share in all the mayhem, laughs, and things we learn in our blended family's journey.
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In our Season One finale, Editor Julie and Producer Marc host Every Other Weekend Showdown. Allison, Jen, and our VERY SPECIAL GUEST Scott face off with revealing questions about each other. Hilarity ensues. Join the fun as we wrap up our very first season. Thank you for your support of Every Other Weekend! It's been quite a ride and we've enjoyed sharing our experiences with you! in a few weeks we'll return with more episodes, some fascinating guests, and the laughter, tears and swearing you've come to expect!
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Our kids are amazing, resilient creatures. They are seemingly quick to adapt to new routines and family structures. Who can blame us for thinking that they've sailed through a divorce with little to no impact? What we find is that, much like an iceberg, there can be a lot more going on beneath the surface. Their fears, their discomfort, and their desire to not burden us can keep them from sharing some of the feelings they have about our divorces. Even with "good" divorces, kids have concerns or feelings that may bubble up - sometimes right away, sometimes years later. Jen and Allison talk about the need to check in with our kids and strategies for doing so. Because if you're not, you can get blindsided and go down harder than the Titanic, and then we're all fighting to get on that door.
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Ah, motherhood. Historically, we've been told it's our penultimate job as women. And it brings with it ALL. THE. FEELS. It can be rewarding and exhausting and wonderful and terrible all at the same time. And how are we acknowledged for all the work we do every single day as moms? An annual brunch. And that's if we make the reservation ourselves. And what about all the women who mother people in their lives although they may not have physically given birth? We discuss the historical origins of Mother's Day, the very limited societal definition of being a mother, and figure out some ways to acknowledge all the people in our lives who do the job of mothering. We hope to create space for ALL the different ways to "mom" and all the different ways to celebrate it. We all deserve it, whatever form it takes, because there ain't no hood like the motherhood.
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Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth are the latest in a long line of celebrity splits that have hit the headlines. And, as many celebrities do, they've issued a statement about their impending divorce that seems unrelatable for some of us. Jen and Allison discuss an article about celebrity divorce, celebrity culture more generally, and how all of it can affect us "regular" folks when we're dealing with that life change as well. Are we being unfair to ourselves? Are we being unfair to celebrities? We try to hash it out. The only thing we really agree on is that we love Reese and all her pieces.
Here is a link to the article we discuss:
Why don’t we talk — really talk — about divorce? | Cognoscenti (wbur.org)
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After a painful divorce and battle with breast cancer, Julie found love. But now she had to figure out how to blend the two families, become a stepmom, and deal with two sets of twin girls! Julie shares some of the unique challenges in her family situation and we talk about how the past may still be influencing the present. (Thanks again, intergenerational trauma!) Julie is a beautiful example of someone in the thick of it who is learning and growing and still evolving on her stepmom journey. She is doing it with bravery, grace, and humor. We all can learn a little something from her and thank her for sharing her story.
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Leo Tolstoy famously said, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” While we don’t completely agree with that sentiment, we’ve repeatedly said that every family and divorce is different. Circumstances can vary wildly, and we are well aware that our experience is not universal. So today we are going to hear from our very first guest – our editor Julie. In the first of a 2-part interview, she shares her story about her background and family history, her first marriage, her difficult divorce and all the aftermath. While some of the details are very different from our experience, we find that a lot of the feelings and challenges have similarities. We are so grateful to have Julie share this raw, honest story.
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We're at it again! In our first episode about mental load, Allison identified the times of year she feels it most and one is fast approaching - end of the school year. The kids are thrilled. The moms are overwhelmed. We discuss some strategies for coping with the crazy and how your mindset going in can make a big difference in how you respond to ALL. THE. THINGS. And that in turn can impact your mental and emotional well-being. We're committed to handling it differently this year. And to giving ourselves some grace, because it's progress, not perfection. If we can just keep Allison from needing a new garage door, it's going to be a huge improvement.
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This episode was not at all what we had planned. As we were preparing to record, we both found ourselves struggling and frustrated with recent situations that resulted in us engaging with our healthcare system. We realized we had a lot to say about this and decided to share it with you. In the grand tradition of Seinfeld’s Festivus, welcome to Jen and Allison’s Airing of Grievances: The Medical Edition. As moms, the physical well-being of our families and of ourselves (so we can continue caring for our families) is paramount, but there are things about how health care works in this country that makes meeting that need a real challenge. We talk about the impact that has on us, on doctors, and our larger community. We talk about our privilege and how even then, it can be hard. And we realize that your co-parents can be part of your safety net and help care for you when you need it, making the work we do on our relationship 100% worth it! And if one of you can help us figure out a better way to do all the paperwork, drinks are on us. Stay well, friends.
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When someone gets a big piece of pie, it by definition means someone else is getting a smaller piece. Fortunately, love isn’t pie. It’s more like your 401(k) - the more you invest, the more that comes back to you. In this episode, we talk about a time Thing 2 made a heartfelt confession to Jen and all the feelings that brought up for Jen. And how she decided to park her own crap and help him work through it. Our scarcity mindset around our kids’ love often creates competition. But what if we changed that mindset? By leaving space for the kids to share ALL their feelings and letting them know that it’s ok to love both of their moms, they can actually love both of us more. They can love us, our exes and their new stepparents. And loving others doesn’t mean there’s LESS love for us. In fact, the more we let our kids love, the more opportunities we give them to practice expressing that love and guess who benefits from that? YOU. In that environment, our kids will know they are accepted, supported, and can express all their emotions without judgement. And that increases the love, which makes all of us richer in the end.
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We all know how this is supposed to work. You meet, you fall in love, you get married, you enjoy some time as newlyweds and then those adorable little terrors called children come along and mess it all up. (We kid, we kid!) It can be really challenging for couples to give the time and priority to their relationship when the demands of children take up so much of our energy and focus. Sometimes looking back on fond memories of your time as a couple “before the kids” helps carry you through. So what do you do when there was NEVER a time before kids? Because when you are marrying into a blended family, the kids are ALWAYS part of the equation. We’ve already established that Jen does things out of order. Children were already there for the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship. And sometimes that means you gotta take a backseat. We talk about the emotional land mines you have to navigate and how you find your place in a family where the kids come before the falling in love and getting married. And it’s totally okay. Because adding up to more than two can equal a lot more love and happiness if you do the math right.
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We deal with it every day and most of us want more of it, but we sure hate to talk about it. For all our societal glorification of the Benjamins, most of us clam up if we have to discuss our own cold, hard cash. A recent Wells Fargo survey indicated that 44% of people polled found personal finance was the most challenging topic to discuss with others. Death came in at 38%. Yep. We’d rather talk about DEATH than money. As hard as it is to think about discussing finances with your partner, imagine doing that in a blended family. Instead of two people, now you may have to talk about it with three or four people. If you’re the OG parent, you may have to follow up on money that’s coming to you late (or not at all!) or have tough discussions with your ex about expenses they don’t have front of mind. If you’re a step, you may find yourself having to buck up for stuff you don’t get a say-so in and your finances might get impacted by agreements that existed before you were in the picture. One thing we realize is that those conversations about money are certainly about the money but there’s usually a layer of other stuff underneath. And you need to figure that out and keep that on your radar when having those financial discussions. Where do all our messed up beliefs about money come from? Why are finances so scary to talk about? And how do you handle uncomfortable moments or resentments that come up in your blended family when you talk about money-related decisions? We try to hash it all out and encourage you to do so as well because as Biggie taught us, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.”
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In this episode, we talk about Jennifer’s first Spring Break trip with kids. In line with her “go big or go home” approach to life, she suggests taking the kids on cruise - out of the country. Hear how Allison got on board (see what we did there?) and agreed to this full on insanity. And learn how that bitch Karma showed up on this trip and made Jen literally fear for her life, because nothing will incite Allison’s murderous rage like you losing her baby boy on a cruise ship. More importantly, we talk about dealing with those pangs of jealousy, learning to put the kids first, and realizing that next time it should be a Moms Spring Break cruise. No kids and a 100 percent chance we will be signing up for the all-inclusive drink package.
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Ride or Die – Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month:
Allison and Jen nurture their friendship by sharing events and activities together – a kid’s basketball tournament or band concert, trips, dinners, and COLONOSCOPIES. March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month so there’s no better time to share our experiences with this life saving screening procedure. We let the shit hit the fan, so to speak, as we tell all. You may be surprised to learn it’s really not as bad as you think and may be the best nap you’ve ever had. We share some really interesting facts and give you ideas for things you can do to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Only 2/3 of adults in the U.S. are on schedule with the recommended tests. Boo! We can do better than that, people. Let’s get that number up!
*** This episode is dedicated to Jen’s friend and high school alum Michelle who was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 42 and battled the disease for 8 years with unrelenting determination and moxie. You are so missed, Michelle. Michelle Gruener Insco, 1970 – 2020.
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Or, maybe, not-so-great expectations. We go into our relationships - with romantic partners, with our exes, with our coparents - expecting certain things. These expectations can be about them, about us, about how things are going to play out. And what we find is that when we put those expectations out in the world - good OR bad - we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. And then we're stuck with all the feelings including a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and disappointment when those expectations aren't met. Should we just stop expecting things altogether to avoid that? What's the difference between an expectation and a boundary and an agreement? We try to figure it out and also talk about healthy, reasonable expectations as well as some unrealistic ones that may be sabotaging your relationships at work, at home, with your kids, with your coparents, and with your partners. "Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule." - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
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We finally found a holiday season that Allison is more invested in than Jennifer. It's Cuffing Season, that special time of year where everyone - and by everyone we mean The Hallmark Channel - tells you that you need a partner to get through the holidays. Cue ensuing panic and desperation that's as ugly as lights flickering at a bar around 2 AM. We discuss what drives our desire to pair up, some of the watchouts, and how cuffing season can lead to other relationship traps. Can we crowdsource future dates for Allison? Jen just wants to know where to buy Cuffing Season decorations for the house. By the time this one ends, we're singing along to Queen Bey and saying, "Cuff it!"
Beyoncé - CUFF IT (Music Video) - Bing video
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Dating. Sure, it can be all fun and games in your youth. But as you get into your 40s and 50s and especially if you are considering dating post-divorce, it's more like the dating PAIN. Things get more complicated, there's a lot more factors and people to consider, and it can be tough to figure out how to meet people - especially if internet dating makes your skin crawl. As we get older, we know ourselves better which can be a great gift when trying to find a partner. But this knowledge may mean looking at a smaller pool of candidates. How do you differentiate between compromise and settling? How do you figure out boundaries and non-negotiables while still leaving space for unexpected possibilities? Can Allison solve all this madness with a spreadsheet?
And most important question: Is Allison going to end up with the UPS guy?
You'll need wine for this one. We've haven't figured out, but we'll give you a lot to think about!
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Habla espanol? Parlez-vous francais? Regardless of what words you use, one of the most important ways you communicate is your love language. The five love languages identified by Gary Chapman have become a pretty trendy topic. It’s important to know how YOU give and want to receive love and just as important to know how your partner gives and receives love. A Kendra Scott delivery around Valentine’s Day demonstrates - big surprise – that Jen and Allison have very different love languages. How has this impacted our relationships? Can you have a successful relationship with someone whose love languages are different than yours or is that a deal breaker? And perhaps most importantly, we talk about how love languages are not limited to our romantic relationships because if we learned anything from watching Love, Actually, it’s that love is all around.
Here's a free online test to help determine your love languages!
The Love Language™ Quiz (5lovelanguages.com)
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As kids, we hear all kinds of stories. Some are fairy tales, some are about other kids (where my Judy Blume fans at???) and some are stories parents, grandparents, and other relatives tell us about our own families. Jen and Allison unpack how those stories – and the ones we tell ourselves – impact our beliefs and relationships as adults, including our marriages and how we handle our divorces. Yes, it’s intergenerational trauma, the gift that keeps on giving! And what we learn is that if you can push through the fear, unpack it and see what’s in there, it really CAN be a gift. Then the challenge is doing the work so you create a whole new gift to pass on to your kids and the generations that come after.
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Nature abhors a vacuum and just like Mother Nature, so do most moms. So we swoop right in to do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE and then wonder why we're exhausted, frustrated, and resentful. But asking for help presents its own challenges. We have to give up control and accept that things might not be done the way we would do them or on our timeline. The first in an ongoing series about managing mental load, Allison and Jen reveal how a simple haircut led to a pretty intense discussion about dealing with "all the things," realizing that we set ourselves up to be victims/martyrs, and learning how to ask for and accept help. And in a shocking turn of events, Jen defends the menfolk.
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Join Jen and Allison on the journey to find stepfamilies represented in shows and movies, only to end up - in desperation - talking about porn and a movie from 1935. There's just not a lot of us out there in pop culture, even though there's a TON of us in real life. What impact does that have on us as a society and how stepfamilies are viewed? Does it impact what people expect when they join the ranks of "step?" When do we get a toilet paper commercial featuring stepfamilies? Should Jen and Allison add "screenwriters" to their resumes? Let's talk about it and give us your suggestions for what we should be watching!
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Welcome to the New Year! It's time once again for fireworks, champagne and....resolutions. Are they worth it? Do they help or hurt? Do we even need to improve or are we perfect just as we are? (Spoiler alert - no, we're not.) If you are setting resolutions, are you trying to change behaviors or are you being too hard on your authentic self? Is there a new way to look at resolutions that could be more helpful? We have not figured this out, but we're working on it! Bonus content: share in real time drama as we get Thing 1 home for Christmas break.
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Ah, the name game. What do your kids call their new stepparent? What does the new stepparent call the kids? What do the adults call each other? Whether we're quoting Beyonce or William Shakespeare ("What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"), what we call each other holds meaning and how we refer to each other to those outside the family holds power. This week Jen and Allison talk about naming conventions in blended families and how Jen became a stepmother formally (and still currently) known as Aunt Jenny.
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That time Allison and Jen understood the assignment (thanks, Producer Marc) and attempted to engage in the #BlendedFamily and #stepmom communities on Instagram. We really do complicate things in divorce. #biomom, #bonusmom, #stepmom, #HCBM....it's a #shitshow. If the parents aren't communicating and the stepparent is left to figure things out on their own with no support and no tools, nobody wins, especially not the kids. And remember: We have to stop vilifying the ex. There can't possibly be this many horrible, evil people in the world. One thing we do know is we need a new hashtag.
BlendedFamily
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That time Jennifer said "yes" after Scott said "no" and the only winner was Chick-Fil-A. Kids are smart and they are master manipulators. Allison and Jen talk about the balance of discipline between parents and step-parents, exes and new partners. Because if you're not all part of a united front, those kids will bring one of you to the Dark Side faster than a Sith Lord.
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(Part 2 of 2): Now that we've identified FDS (that's Fun Dad Syndrome), how do we treat it? We realize we've got unrealistic expectations and stop our binary thinking. Then we buy some donuts and take a ferry ride. Enter stage left - Fun Mom.
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(Part 1 of 2): Allison and Jen talk about "Fun Dad," one of the most common phenomena in post-divorce parenting. And it's even harder to deal with when you have control issues. After lots of discussion we realize that "Fun Dad" is an issue in lots of homes (even when there's NOT been a divorce) and that sometimes "Fun Dad" is really "Frustrated Mom."
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Allison has aggressive Christmas Village goals and we both have VERY different approaches to the holidays. Listen to our special Thanksgiving episode for our thoughts on turkey, stuffing, sides and pie. And maybe a few other completely unrelated (and inappropriate) things!
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That time Jen and Scott invited Allison to their wedding. Shock and awe ensues. When we allow others to define what our relationship should look like based on stereotypes, we run the risk of limiting ourselves within the relationship and ultimately, not maximizing its potential. Sometimes we need to give those around us time to accept a new dynamic. Other times, we just need to say fuck it and do whatever the hell we think is best.
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That time (all of the times) we get asked about how this crazy family works. Allison gets asked one question, Jennifer gets asked another ("So what does Scott think about that?"). Why? Is it the patriarchy? Are we crazy? And how does Scott really feel about all this? Listen to find out!
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That time Allison played the role of a marriage counselor. When you redefine the relationship with your ex from spouse to friend, you can be and have a valuable resource when the dog gets out and you owe someone an apology.
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Follow Jen and Allison weekly for candid conversations between the ex-wife and the new wife on how we learned to co-parent gracefully and become close friends.
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