The Extra Adesanyas: Recent Episodes
The Extra Adesanyas
We are a young millennial couple navigating wholeness, marriage, faith and everything else in between. We value our faith, learning, growth and mastering effective communication! So, we have chosen to create an even broader online community to share our experiences, learn even more and reflect the truth of Christ through everything we do.
Cue music….can you pay my bills, can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my automo’ bills? If you haven’t been able to guess what today’s topic is about, let us help you decode. On this episode we’re talking about MONEY and more specifically money within relationships. Take a deep breath in and then out! We know this one can take the wind out of most people, but we have to talk about it.
We start off the episode evaluating what we spent money on while we were single and then took a nose dive into how that changed once we got into relationships. We also ask pressing questions about how money informs our decisions about who we date or choose to spend the rest of our lives with. Let’s just ask you guys this question…who should pay on the first date? Wanna know our answer? You have to listen to the episode to find out. Also, do you have the money conversation with your significant other?
CommuniTEA….It’s another Saturday drop and we’re coming in hot!!!! Like spilling piping hot TEA!!!! So, let’s talk about navigating friendships while in relationships. Now, to be clear, we don’t think these two things should ever be in competition with each other, but sometimes it seems like that’s the case and in this episode we explore these dynamics.
Sounds like a Nollywood movie, but honestly communiTEA you know we had to go there. In the spirit of Easter and the sacrifice God made for us, we decided to talk about the sacrifices that we’ve made in our relationship. We joke and laugh about them now, but in the moment addressing these sacrifices were an arduous task.
We also share what our limits when it comes to sacrifice are. While we are so thankful for the gift of Jesus, we agree that no one else needs to give their life as a sacrifice for those they love. Christ is enough! So, if you’re in a situation that scares you and makes you worry about your life please email us so we can connect you with those that can help you out.
CommuniTEA…..Hope you’re all having a great weekend? Anyway, sometime this week, we had listened to a conversation about cohabitation and we thought it’s be a great conversation to bring to the podcast. On this episode, we share our thoughts on living with a significant other prior to marriage. Are there pros and cons you might ask? Well, we try our best to delve into that question as well as a host of others. We also share our living situation over the course of our relationship so you can get a sense on some offer perspective as a couple. Additionally, we get into how to navigate conversations about moving in when one partner is ready and the other one isn’t.
Please let us know your thoughts on this topic. Are you pro cohabitation or nah? Are you the one asking to move in or do you stylishly sneak in a toothbrush and then a bath towel?
Hello communiTEA!!!! We’re in a new month and we wanted to start off with an interesting topic. We’re pretty certain that everyone has had to deal with having difficult conversations with friends, family even coworkers. Let’s agree it’s not fun!!!! However, it has to be done. So, how do you navigate these conversations?
We talk about some of our conversations and what made them difficult? We also share some tips to navigate difficult conversations. We’re not pros, but we hope some of these help. Please share with us how you handle some of these conversations so we can learn from each other.
Hey hey communiTEA!!!! This episode is essentially self awareness central. We decided to sit back and reminisce on the the things we discovered about ourselves when we started dating. Some were good, some were bad, but generally it’s our honesty for us. Do you ever sit back to evaluate yourself, your actions and behaviors especially within relationships, friendships and even family? We reckon this is a healthy exercise from time to time and certainly recommend you give it a try.
Hey communiTEA!!!!!! Hope you’ve had a great week so far and you’re ready to dive into this week’s episode. We don’t know about you, but when the conversation about relationship and marriage come up, someone always asks how do you find the one or how do you know he/she is the one? Surely, you’ve heard some form of this this statement at some point. Right?
Well, on today’s episode we delve a little bit into “how to find the one” or “how to know you’re ready to settle down.” From the conversation, we settle on a few thoughts: finding the one requires you to find yourself first and be careful of what motivates your “list” when finding a partner.
Let’s not give it all away. Enjoy the episode and let us know your thoughts!
I know the actual book is men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but heaven has more of a ring to it. On today’s episode we’re exploring core differences between men and women. Now, we’re not trying to stereotype anyone, but we’re sharing some of our cardinal differences. Let’s just say men and woman focus on different things and it’s EVIDENT in the ways we both operate.
Do you think men are good at multitasking? Do women vent too much? Listen to hear us air our dirty linen on the interwebs. Can you relate to this conversation? Please let us know that we’re not crazy or high on narcotics…..What are some major differences you’ve observed between men and women?
Also, are you digging our new family name communiTEA???
Stereotypes!!!!! What roles do they play in your relationship? Given that we’re from different cultures, we’ve always had to navigate stereotypes brought on by ourselves and others. Let’s just say your subconscious stays packing a bit of implicit bias and it happens to make its way into conversations, arguments etc. In today’s episode, we discuss some of the things we were surprised to learn about each other when we started dating.
We address obvious stereotypes and the ways we’ve seen them affirmed or refuted based on our natural tendencies. Do you know any stereotypes that have affected the way you relate with others? Do you know any couples who have struggled? Heck, are you currently struggling?
We realized we had been giving y’all a lot of subject themed episodes and we decided to drop a story time this time! On this episode, we’re talking about meeting the parents while we were dating. Usually, depending on the type of family you come from, introducing a significant other can be nerve racking. For some, you never bring it up until you’re ready to get married while for others, you start the introductions from the get go.
Meeting the parents came with varied reactions and we dish about the nerves, the excitement and everything else that came with the introductions. Let’s just say we had to meet over different continents to make sure it happened. Who do you think was the easiest to talk to? Who was the most difficult? How did we navigate our feelings and where are we now? Sit back and enjoy!
Also, let us know how you felt meeting your significant other’s parents.
Any church folk out there? You know I had to call you out with this kind of title. Nevertheless, in this episode we’re talking about Fighting Fair……Anyone tense yet? While we talk a lot about love and the whole nine yards, we would be remiss not to talk about a huge part of human relationships which are arguments. We address what it means to fight fair in relationships, friendships and even with family. There is no question that this is such a difficult thing to navigate especially when it starts to get heated.
Have you ever been in a position where you’ve blown up about an issue and in the midst of that, you find yourself pulling out information that was told to you in confidence as ammunition during the fight/argument?
Well, we recommend that when you fight, you assess the type of outcome you expect? At the end of the day, you are responsible for how you react at any given moment. We also offer practical ways to avoid unfair fights. Let us know your thoughts we’d love to learn from you!
Before we forget, here’s the part of scripture that talks about how to handle disagreements: Matthew 18:15-17. Hope this helps!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FRIENDS!!!!!!! Do you celebrate Val’s day or are you anti-capitalist celebrations? In this mini episode, we share our past valentine’s day experiences or lack thereof. These stories might have you shook when you hear them, so brace yourself. How far is too far when it comes to giving gifts? Also whose parents sent their spouse a live teddy bear? It’s shorts and sweet , but packed with a ton of stories.
Enjoy!
Any Backstreet Boys fan out here? We know you thought of it too. In continuation from the previous episode, we’re talking love languages especially as the season of love is in full swing. How does knowing and understanding love languages help with mastering effective communication you might ask. Well, you’ve got to listen to the episode to find out.We list out the love languages as highlighted by Gary Chapman: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality time, Physical Touch and Gift Giving! It’s been said that your current love language is based on how your parents showed you love. Does this apply to you because it certainly applies to us?
In this episode, we also address how we attempt to communicate effectively given the fact that we have totally different love languages. This conversation is such an important one for any kind of relationship because who doesn’t want to be loved properly? In our opinion, there’s nothing worse than trying to show love to someone in a way they can’t necessarily receive
Here’s a link to the test if you haven’t taken it yet: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
Today we’re talking about the big C word……COMMUNICATION!!!! We can agree that communication can make or break any relationship: marriage, dating, friendship and even work relationships. So, we share what our definition of good and effective communication is and why it’s important. In addition, we explore some things that can challenge effective communication including, but not limited to culture.
While we were at it, doe anyone else communicate with their body? You know how you can have a full on conversation with just your eyes? No, Is it just Onyeka? I’m sure we’re not the only ones, but really what role does body language play in effectively communicating with others? It gets quite interesting with us given that we’re from different cultures such that even the body language can be easily misconstrued.
There’s so much to talk about that we’re thinking of a multi-part conversation. Are you team clear and concise or team fully descriptive when communicating?
Did you cue the same song when you read the title?
This episode is for the fellas who may or may not know what all comes with seeking out an independent woman. It’s also for the ladies who have been referred to as “intimidating” or independent. To be clear, we don’t speak for everyone, we’re only sharing what we’ve experienced.
We go into who we think an independent woman is and what characteristics or life experiences shape her into becoming one. Listen to what we think the pros and cons might be especially within an intimate relationship. Questions like “can an independent woman be submissive?” “Are all independent women stubborn?” “Is it difficult for independent women to be in a relationship?” are all addressed in this episode.
We also circle back to the kind of guy who may or may not have issues dating an independent woman. What do you think? Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode.
Anyone else scream the Brandy lyrics, “this long distance is killing me?”
Well, on this episode we spill all the “TEA” about our long distance relationship. Let’s just say it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Who do you think hated it the most and why? Honestly, while it was a whole ordeal, we reminisce on the benefits that came along with the journey. It wasn’t all a bed of roses, but you’ve got to listen to the episode to know more.
Also, are we going to talk about how going from long distance to an in person relationship is a TRANSITION!!!!!!!! Anyone else with us in this? Please share your stories so we know what it was like for you. Did you move into a neutral place or into one of your spaces?
In this episode, we talk about how Kola jumped all the way from the friend zone into a highly unexpected relationship. To be honest, it was unexpected on both our ends especially after the random phone call that turned things around. Trust me, you want to hear how this “emotionally unavailable” man did the randomest thing that turned into exposing his feelings.
Thanks for coming back for some more of our love story!
On this episode, we talk about the ghost of friendship past. Want to know what we mean? Give this episode a listen to get all the TEA!!! We also talk through how and why we stayed friends even after breaking up. Was it Okafor’s law playing out or was it something else? If you don’t know anything about this law, we do our best to explain.
Things also get a little vulnerable as we share some low, but defining moments. Let’s just say it’s hard to listen to our story without seeing the threads God was weaving through our individual journeys that eventually led us back to each other.
At the end of the day, never say never!
On this mini-episode we reminisce on our first ever relationship. The highs, the lows and in the in between. We’re dishing on the foundation of our communication through recharge cards and free midnight calls (we explain if you’re not Nigerian.) We also talk about meeting parents for the first time and the great set up it all was.
In this introductory mini-episode, we delve into the origin story of how we met. You’ll also get to hear our initial thoughts about each other and what we were up to at 15/16 years old. Let’s just say in 2008 we’re glad our parents were praying hard because things could have gone south. We also discuss our first foray into dating and how we formed our basis for how to date because let’s be honest this is an important conversation.
Enjoy this episode and share with us how you first learned to date? Did you end up marrying your high school or college sweetheart?
Credit:
Podcast art: DesignShoppe
Podcast intro/outro: Chibueze Emefo