Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life: (Value Centered Relationships): Recent Episodes
Brenda Shoshanna, Phd
A completely new perspective on living your life. There is a brand new way to look at problems which not only bring unexpected solutions, but allows us to enjoy whatever arises on the way. Based upon Zen wisdom, we see how to apply it in relationships, so that each person we meet becomes our teacher in what it means to love. As we do so, we see that everything we need is right here.
Many of us fear change, because we experience it as loss. We do all we can to keep our world stable, secure, and as we want it to be. Most of our time is guarding against change, fighting and refusing it. But the truth is that life itself is constant change. It is growth, discovery, and the precious unfolding of who we are. Change is the way we learn and ripen. To fight change, to judge ourselves as failures if things don't go our way is a cause of great suffering. A better way is to say Yes to change, to see each moment as a "wonder", and to enter the flow of what is going on.
We are driven by the need to be right, not wrong. And many of the conflicts in our relationships are caused by this, as well. When a difference of any kind arises, we immediately insist that we are right, the other is wrong.
These labels cover the larger truth of the matter, as we enter into conflict, anger and often loss. There is another way to handle this. Realize that we are all both right and wrong all the time. And that both can also be right at the same time. Give up these labels and learn to truly listen to the person you are with. And to yourself as well. As we give space to ourselves, listen to all that is going on, a larger point of view arises, along with compassion. We also see the real person who is in front of us, what they need and are trying to say.
So: Let The Other Be Right. You can always be right later. Make space for the other to express themselves without opposition. And make space for you to do that as well. This is the basis of all true relationships and of a friendship that can only grow and grow.
So much of our lives are filled with questions that have no answer. We go around and around in our mind trying to figure everything out. These questions about ourselves, others, what will happen, and what's the best road to take, plague us endlessly. They prevent us from being present for what's going on and fully experiencing our lives. In fact the questions create so much confusion, they actually lead us in the wrong direction. Without doubt, there is another way to receive the clarity and insight so many of us are longing for. To begin it's always with us, waiting to be revealed. It is so important to stop trying to figure everything out rationally, and to open our minds and hearts so that our deeper truths can come to the surface and guide us all by themselves.
No matter what's going on, how we see the event or person, determines what they becomes to us. We can find that which is devastating about them and ties us in knots. Or, we can let go of opposing and rejecting what's going on, and experience each moment fully, just as it is. When we do that we make room for things to change and flow. As we let go, so do others we're in contact with. As we open our minds and hearts to what is happening, we gain a different perspective as well. Suddenly, we are able to see the beauty, the fun and all possibilities that each moment and person holds. This new insight comes from letting go of clinging to our demands, beliefs and expectations about how everything is "supposed" to be. As things then change and flow, they naturally reveal all the goodness and beauty within.
We're all looking for thrills and chills as we go through life. Our ordinary everyday life seems too simple, dull and repetetive. To make life special we feel we have to jazz things up, create dazzling goals, become someone special, receive all kinds of acclaim. Or else we've failed, missed our chance. Zen practice shows us just the opposite. Every day, just as it comes and as it goes, is extremely precious. As we attend to it, stop trying to twist it into something else, and honor the moment just as it is, something beautiful happens. We see the uniqueness in every moment and every person who comes our way. We also see that nothing at all is repetetive. It is only our lack of attention to what happens, that makes it seem as though the same old thing happens again and again. It does not and cannot. And even our illusion of being "stuck" is only an illusion. Who we are and what is going on is constant change.
We live most of our lives surrounded by Dire Predictions, a snowstorm is on the way, huge winds, dangerous conditiions. And, then, before we know it, the snow has turned to light rain and the sun begins breaking through. Dire predictions come from all directions regarding most aspects of our lives. When we focus upon them, believe them, guard against them all day long, our lives are tangled in fear and pain. When we stay with things as they are, feel them, enjoy them, become engaged with what the moment brings, gratitude, happiness and also compassion bubbles up. Life brings us what is needed, one moment after the next, including natural insight which allows us to do what is needed, appropriate, and what is beneficial for all.
How many of us can really allow ourselves to really live, feel the sun, hear our neighbor,
be present and available to all that arrives. This is actually a great art, and in order to do it, we must learn the great secret of "Allowing". It is rare that we allow anything to happen, just as it does. Immediately, we want to fix it, judge it, take control of it, whether it is an event or a relationship. The problem is that we are simply reacting out of our conditioning, rather than having a larger perspective on all that's going on. When we can stop a few moments, stop fighting and opposing things, not get pulled in to the dance, that pause is the start of allowing. The more we simply allow life to be life, the more our perspective changes and we become able to respond appropriately. All action taken then will come from a totally different place, and inevitably be benefifical to all.
We are always waiting for something to happen to make things right. There's usually something missing in what's going on right now. We want it to turnout differenly and won't stop until it does. There's a picture in our mind of how everything is supposed to go. Most of us refuse to feel satisfied until our picture is fulfilled. Then we'll feel as if we've won, worthwhile. But life has its own ideas about what must happen, and the conflict between our pictures and those that life presents ties us in a knot. It takes our joy away, fills us with trepidatioin and does not allow us to see the incredible beauty and wisdom in the way of life Once we stop battling and opposing life, we can pause and see what's really happening, discover our true role, and become able to move forward with unexpected happiness.
We are not aware of how much we reject life. A gap takes place before we are willing to notice, engage with and accept what's going on. Often we just block things we don't like out. Or, our initial response is to judge what's taking place, filter it through our past experiences. Take a few steps away. It is rare to simply to be present for whatever the moment brings. And beyond that it is an act of wonder to learn how to actually fall in love with the life we are living now. Not the life we wanted, dreamt of or have been struggling so hard to make happen. What is needed to fall in love with what's going on right now? How can we engage with it fully and be filled with good will, no matter what?
True communication comes in many forms. So often we present an image of ourselves, play a role or speak to impress, or influence. This type of interaction causes division, not only within ourselves, but in our relationships. All long for true connection, to be seen, known and heard. And how is that possible, when we are not interacting simply and diretly from the truth of who we are. Yet, no matter what we say, the truth of who we Are, presents itself naturally. When we align our words, truth and deeds, that is when our true life begins and also beautiful connections with the world.
We all wish each other a Happy New Year, and mean it. But what does it mean to be truly happy?? Usually we think it includes lots of laughs and smiles, a happy face and demeanor. Certainly, it is a pleasure to feel that way, but how long does a feeling like that last? It comes and goes due to circumstances. When things go our way, the smiles appear, when a sudden thunder storm comes, our smiles disappear. Yet, there is a way to live a Truly Happy Live, a way to greet whatever arises with a feeling of wonder, aliveness and engagement. When we can truly savor the preciousness of our lives, of each moment and encounter, and encounter it fully, this is a life not only of true happiness, but immebaw value and growth.
Even though everyday is new, we drag the old along with us wherever we go. Then, longing for a new start, we look for it everywhere. Some move to a new neighborhood or relationship, profession, even new haircut.. As we approach the new year, we reflect upon the year gone by and dwell upon how we want things to change. However, one thing we overlook, is that things change every moment. Every breath is fresh, every day is new. It's just us. We're not aware of it, but cling to things gone by. Change is not difficult. It can come so easily with this one secret: For the New Year To Be New, You Must Be New. Try letting go, and allowing the flow of life to make you New. Become aware of the freshness of each moment. And all the possibilities it holds.
We're always waiting for things to be fulfilled, for the job to be over, for good news to arrive, or for our long wait to be over, for our needs to be met. As a Zen Master saw his driven students, pushing and striving for results, he always said to them, "Not Yet." However much they strained and hoped, he always simply shook his head and said, "Not yet." Some took this to mean they were failures, would never make the grade. But that's not it. There's a wonderful secret to this remark, and once we discover it, so much pressure and futile efforting disappears on its own. And to our amazement, when we run into the Zen Master, he won't say Not Yet again.
Caught in our thoughts we feel that we know what's going on, and respond accordingly. Instead of paying precious attention to what's right in front of us, our attention is caught and trapped by our endless obsessions. What a pity. Our trapped attention hasn't a chance, can't breathe, live or even see the beautiful sun that is just waiting for peek out behind the clouds and warm the entire sky. If we don't see it, how can we receive the light and warmth? When asked what Zen practice truly is, a great teacher said, "Attention." The student answered, "That's all?" The Zen Master replied, "Attention, Attention, Attention." Reclaim your attention, really look and you will see the answer for yourself.
It's so easy to become upset when things don't work out our way. Many feel like failures, that no matter what they do, but life just proceeds as it wishes. Nothing to feel badly about. We do all we can and certainly can bring benefit, but let's take a moment and dwell upon the most significant koan, question of all. Ultimately, Who's In Charge? You are a visitor here and life will continue on in its own way, long after you have departed. What did you come here for? Just focus on that. Where are you headed? Offer what you can and don't dwell upon the outcome. That's not in your hands.
We have so many expectations about what is going to happen, what needs to happen and how to manage everything. So many hours are spent planning how to navigate the twists and turns of life, to be ready for everything. Yet, most of the things we expected, don't happen. And what we don't expect arrives on its own. Our reactions to this dominate our life, anger, upset, immediately trying to change, fix or alter what's going on. We're so busy opposing and altering life as it comes, that we have little time to experience it directly. To fully taste and digest what's going on, to live life truly. When we are willing to stop listening to our frantic reactions and running around, simply sit still with all that's happening, meet it, know it directly, it no longer threatens us. As we make friends with life, it makes friends with us. And beyond that, to our great surprise we see that there is no need to manage everything, life has its own rhythm and order, and when we do not oppose it, it is entirely beneficial for all.
Thanksiving is here, a yearly time to remember, thank and reach out. But this practice is so powerful and central to our well being, our lives would turn around if we took a day or two each week, (or more) and gave thanks all day long. Normally, our brains are wired to focus upon what is wrong, what's lacking and who did us harm. That seems to be our automatic reaction as we go through our days. And all the while, the opposite is true. There's always an abundance of gifts, warmth, love and nourishment available. We just can't see it, as we focus on the opposite. This year, with all the difficulty in the world, a great gift we can give to ourselves and others is to give thanks all day long. Give thanks to those you seldom recognize, and to moments that might have otherwise passed you by. When we all do it together, a great wave of healing spreads over the land.
Where is God when I need Him?? This cry is heard so loudly these days and during times of trouble. Let's explore the feelings of abandonment, loss and the confusion we experience as things seem to go out of control. There is a secret answer which is here right where we stand and live. Especially at the kitchen table. The problem is not that God is absent, it is us. We are not here. We're not available, connected, aware and ready to stand and act. Let's explore ways not only of finding God with us in every moment of our lives. And also, let's take a look at what prevents it.
So many phrases we use are routine, casual, empty comments to daily questions. For example, how are you today? How's it going? Fine, fine. Really? How's what going? Nothing has really been asked, and no answer given. We hide behind words, slogans, easy responses, use them as a way to get by, to be accepted or admired. In this way we create our own confusion and rip the meaning out of our lives. The power of true communication is lost as is our natural clarity about what is truly happening and which way to go. There is a simple answer to this dilemma.. be still, enter the silence. The silence speaks loudly and has all the answers to whatever we need. Take time to listen to it; don't add decorations and comments on what it has to say.
Everyone wonders where to go, how to get to our destination. We try to figure out all the twists and turns in the road. So often there's a fork in the road, or our journey is not what we expected. As we figure out what to do, we lose touch with the very step itself. We're not right here experiencing the step, or moment, fully. Instead most of us is engaged in figuring out where to go. However, when we return totally to where we are, and take that step, truly, and fully, the step itself leads us to the next one. Each step taken that way guides us in the right direction. Our body knows, our deeper wisdom knows.. our feet has a brain all of its own. Enter the wisdom of our whole self as we really plant our full selves in the moment. Allow the moment and the truth of each step to guide us, in all ways.
In the midst of the chaos we are going through, it seems we've left sanity far behind and it will be so difficult to return to it. Living in a world with mixed messages, confusion and emotions flaring high we wonder if we will ever find the road to clarity, and simple moments of joy. The truth is that sanity is right here, all the time, impossible to avoid. Unless we turn away from it. .. It is truly up to us to stop and notice where we place our attention, what messages we respond to, and believe to be valuable. In Zen practice, we stop racing around, searching for answers. The quieter we become, the more we attend to simple, natural moments, and the plain reality of who we are, what is happening right now, the more truth reveals itself. The more we enter the natural, inevitable harmony which directs and nourishes all.
In these enormously difficult time the first thing we ask is Where Has God Gone? Endless prayers are offered, vigils and all of us instinctively turn to the divine at a time like this. In fact, God has not gone anywhere. He/she is right here, always available and present. Right Where We Are. Actually it is said that "We Are the Temple of The Living God," and therefore when we turn to God, remember, return and set our mind and hearts stayed upon the Divine, it Must Appear. We are guided, We are accompanied, and the power of goodness, wisdom and love, will prevail.
In order to break out of the spell of fear, it's necessary to learn more about fear, meet it face to face. We are all senior to fear, there is no need to get caught in the great undertow it brings and lose our clarity and mobility. Fear never keeps us safe, it does just the opposite, creates confusion, obstruction and illusion. Divides friends and also leaves us helpless without the support we crave. Discover the true nature of fear in this podcast, and a few wonderful steps to take that will disarm it with ease. Regain your natural strength and seniority as we draw upon our true power for wisdom and courage.
The Journey to Safety begins with our ability to dismantle fear. This episode describes the nature of fear, and our ability to see through it, on our journey to the natural safety that we are.
We love to make our lives more and more complicated, fill them with "problems and fears" and then spend the entire day trying to find solutions. At the end of the day, tied up in knots, we wonder what we've gained. Actually, we have not gained anything, but lost the strength, power and beauty a simple, natural day can bring. We have grown out of touch with the natural healing rhythms of life itself and of our own nature. As we practice Zen, we return to simplicity, take the focus away from all that's wrong, and enter the immense healing that's provided moment by moment, no matter where we are. As we take power and focus away from what's wrong, and simply breathe, walk, look at the sky or enjoy the smile of others, little by little we regain, our natural rhythm, health, joy in life and the healing that provides.
We spend so much time waiting for things to turn out as we want them to. There is a constant demand made upon life that it fulfill "my" wishes... And when it doesn't, when something unexpected or unwanted wanted happens, we start to fight it, try to change it, feel like failures. Then we spend endless time trying to figure out what things turned out that way. Of course there is no logical, rational answer. What we do not realize is that each moment is always fresh and different. What we wanted one moment changes the next. What we didn't want also changes. The art is to enjoy each moment that comes and that goes, to allow it to teach us, enrich us. As we sit we learn to see the freshness, not only of each moment, but of our lives, not blur everything together. A wonderful saying is: "If I have not seen you for three days, it cannot be said I now know you."
Devotion is an odd word these days when change and variety have become something many strive for. But even when we go from one experience and project to another, a deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment are often missing. The power of devotion is different. When devoted to a person, cause, vision or activity not only are we committed, but enjoy the love that devotion brings. In all kinds of circumstances devotion persists and accompanies us through the most difficult of times. That is because we are focused upon something beyond our own immediate satisfaction and please. We have offered ourselves in an unconditional way that can be depended upon. And as we do, failure is impossible. The devotion itself brings a sense of completion and wholeness, no matter how things work out. It's wonderful to explore where you are devoted in your life, to whom or to what?
The world seems upside down today. The lines between sanity and madness are blurry and many feel anxious and confused. And, all the while harmony, clarity and even joy are right here with us. It is not difficult to step out of the world of madness, can be done, breath by breath. The path to sanity is right where we are every single moment, and we can walk on it in ease. There's no need to struggle for it, it is simply a matter of taking charge of our attention. What are we paying attention to, what are we believing, how are we handling the endless emotions that arise and seem to take us over. When we answer these basic questions, it is clear that nothing can take us over. Our life is always in our hands.
Usually whatever happens we want to change it, fix it, do something about it. We want to control our experience, take charge and even dominate it. When we react in this manner, we are always looking for what's wrong. Our day becomes a battle between one problem and another. Rather than just "allowing" the day to appear as it does, for experiences to come and go, everything becomes a power struggle. We are desperate to make everything as "we like it" and to push away what we consider unpleasant. This approach to life, makes us tense, angry and often feeling like a failure. There is a radically simple and yet wonderful way to release this on going stress. Engage in the great act of "allowing".. Allow each person to be who they are, allow each moment to do what it does. Become a beholder and allow life to live. As we do this, things open up, come and go naturally. They reveal who they are and what they truly want of us. And in the process harmony and well rule the day.
So often we go searching wildly for something we think we lack. Suddenly, we want it badly, and we'll do everything we can to find it, look everywhere. Hours can go by as we engage in the search, even days. Perhaps we are reading a book and an idea hits us. We feel we must know more, find another book with more information about it. Swept away in the search it is easy to forget where we are right now, and what is here, right under our eyes. Even though we may be holding the book in our hand, we never think of turning the page. The very next page, and the ones that follow may contain all that we are hungering for. The other day this happened to me. Hours passed as I searched everywhere and put the book I had down beside me. Hours later I returned to the book, picked up where I'd left off and to my amazement, found all I needed, and more, right there. How often this happens in our life. So important to stay right where we are and see what we find when we just turn the page.
We all believe we are outside, looking in. There's a sense of separation from what that which we want to belong to. We have to earn admittance, be approved of, or struggle hard to join in. But our Zen practice tells us that we are already part of life, on the inside. We all belong. Once this false sense of separation and unworthiness dissolves we can live freely and be who we are. As long as the sense of isolation and searching for acceptance goes on, difficulty and pain arises. When we feel we don't have enough, or aren't enough, our hunger to find what we need outside of ourselves increases. However, when we realize that we already participate with life's bounty and wisdom, wherever we go, we are at home. And can also welcome others into our lives.
It's impossible for the Truth or Reality to be hidden or hide forever. For a certain period of time we can run from it, pretend things are different than they are. We can live in dreams or fantasies, or try to explain everything that goes on. Sooner or later, though, the bare truth of our lives appears. For some this is shocking, hard to absorb. For others, it is a great relief from the exhaustion of pretending or straining to control what is here, right before our eyes. As we step back from constant reaction, from manouevering, and clinging to one outcome or the next, a great awareness can come to us. Along with this comes a sense of joy and peace. It can indeed be startling to realize that life is completely different than we imagined, much more beautiful. To allow the truth to reveal itelf, to make room for truth to speak is a great gift we give to all, and a great delight as well.
We usually think that life (and practice) must be filled with suffering, struggle and strain. There is so much we must do, and so little time to do it. And, what if the opposite is true? There is so little to do and endless time to enjoy each moment, person and day. What if all was already done and here for us to enjoy it? When we enter the true spirit of Zen, and of the flowing streams of each day, it is wonderful to taste how delicious life is, and filled with endless surprises and joy. This joy heals and uplifts, gives us our true direction. That is the natural face and heart of the day and of each of us. Whatever keeps us away from this, can be easily swept away. It is simply the believing in the necessity for struggle and failure, pain and effort that disarms us. It is the fear of stepping out of our usual pathway, sitting for a few moments at the edge of the stream and truly taking real breaths, and relishing the life that has been given.
We all long to be unshakeable during a time of shaking and change. The search goes on endlessly for a place we can stand firmly, something we can trust and depend on to navigate through uncertain times. It is natural to run here and there trying to find a safe and sturdy place. Where we belong. Yet, the unexpected truth is, the more we search, the shakier we become. That is because we are looking in the wrong direction. It is not possible to find that kind of stability in a world outside that consists of nothing but change. And yet, the unshakeable road is ever available. We need simply turn in another direction, become still, open and silent and look within. To our amazement, the more we stop searching outside, running to and fro, the clearer, calmer and happier we become. That which cannot be taken from us, that which is consistent and illuminating is right here within. What a joyous discovery. Life takes a brand new turn.
So many of us feel stuck, unable to move on. We are clinging to the way things used to be or the way we feel we need things to be in order to move on. Somehow we have not realized that we are only clinging to a dream. Each moment must be different, life is a process of endless change. And that is beautiful, giving us room to to live anew, again and again. Rather than fear change, Zen practices shows us how to step right into it. Put your attention upon this moment, upon this very step, this very person and let it be just as it is. Taste it fully. Don't hold back. Don't wait for the perfect person or situation to arise. Each moment is the perfect moment. Each person is the perfect person. Meet them, greet them fully. Let go of old expectations of people and things, and take a radical turn in the road where you greet each moment, just as it is. Where you welcome it, taste it fully. And allow the next moment to arise as it will. Not only will this bring a great feeling of safety and balance, but it will allow you to enjoy and be part of the great river of life. No way you can feel stuck or left out then.
On Independence Day, a celebration of freedom, it is crucial to see that we are all intrinsically free. We are alive, awake, breathing. We come to this life with all we need to sing, love, give, thrive in everyway. And yet we suffer greatly, ruled by the idea that we are bound, enslaved, harmed and victimized wherever we go. We believe that we must go through life suffering, rejecting one another, and rejectng our own freedom. However, Zen practice, shows us that it is not so. Each moment of life, is a celebration of freedom itself. It is only necessary to stop running, and pay attention to simple moments, to our breath, the feel of our feet on the floor when walking, the sound of the rain. As we become radically present for what's happening, experience our life fully we take our attention away what's truly binding us, our own negativity. Then it's easy to see that freedom is right within. We have the power to reclaim our joy in life, our strength and gidance through the simple moments as they come and go. Nothing is binding us. What a thrill to stop and see.
We often long for wisdom to get through our lives. It seems as if there is something missing in ourselves and we must find the answer somehow. This feeling drives us to search all over, in books, people, news. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and find outselves lacking. Or we idealize others, and feel deeply hurt and betrayed when they do not live up to our images of who they should be. Then we start searching for someone else, or some other solution, more frantically this time.
We may find some solutions, or relationships temporarily, but circumstances change and they don't really hold up. Whatever we do, it doesn't fill the emptiness within.
But there is a simple solution. Stop Searching. Nothing is missing! All you need to live a beautiful life is right here within. It is waiting to be recognized, paid attention to and respected. Each moment that arises has guidance for you, if you will only truly receive and honor it.
We all believe that we are bound by external forces, relationships, circumstances and situations of all kinds. However, the truth is that we are only in bondage to our confusion, our lack of understanding of the simple laws of love. Once we discover the difference between real and counterfeit love, we can easily see that all our pain comes from living in Counterfeit Love. Living in Counterfeit Love we live in opposition to what inevitably brings harmony, well being and benefit to all. We cannot thrive when we live in opposition to the Simple Laws of Love. Once we learn and live these laws of love, nothing can enslave us. Love frees all. Love nourishes, heals and opens doors and endless opportunities. Zen practice is truly the practice of love, which changes the ways we perceive one another, ourselves, and life itself.
We're all so busy trying to accomplish this and that, and figure out what must be done next. Seems it's never enough. Swept up in the rush of activities and and demands of our conditioned mind, it's rare to pause and notice what's the most important thing. where are we headed. We rarely wonder why the rush, or why we must listen to the mad mind within that endless pushes us to and fro. This is the mind that tries to figure things out, control the future, and criticizes whatever we do. It tosses us into mazes and circles that never end. Zen practice is the great pause. It enables us to stop, to listen to the silence and a deeper part of ourselves that experiences life differently. It touches a different kind of knowing that is always availble, and can naturally point us to the Most Important Thing!
So many of us become distraught, thinking that life is brief and that we must hold onto what we have strongly. The fear of loss and change, along with a sense of failure can haunt our entire lives. It seems as if we've missed the mark, as life keeps turning around and aruond and we cannot control any of it. What we do not realize is that everything is already here. Everything comes and everything goes, and at the same time, nothing leaves at all. When we depend upon appearances, we are confused and saddened. It looks one way, and we react to that, rather than go deeper and find the place within ourselves and others where we are all together forever. Whether we see the person or not, where can they go? What we see is only the outer display, a set of clothes. What we feel, what we know intuitively is where our true connection lay. As we sit, we learn to receive all of life fully, not depending upon anything that seems external, but finding our root within.
Our lives are often a frantic search to find and reach our destination. We take one road after another in search of where we want to go and where we think we belong. We also demand that our relationships lead to our destination, to what we want to receive and to be. When one road or relationship fails us, we quickly search for the next. And then the next. It is often impossible to see, or realize, that our true destination is right here now, in front of our eyes. We do not have to go anywhere to find it. And we cannot stray from it. The only reason we can’t see it is because we believe that our destination is somewhere else. When that idea fades away, when we stop going from one road t the next, it's a true wonder to realize that we are just where we belong.
An epidemic of isolation and loneliness is sprouting up all over the world. A sense of separation, along with division and fear has taken hold. It certainly seems as if this is understandable. And yet what is not so obvious, is that fundamentally, it is impossible to be truly alone. We are all incredible united, connected and living in one another's hearts. And what is crucial to understand, is how to go beyond the feelings of loneliness and experience the oneness, and presence of love. The solution is so simple. It is the very heart of zazen practice, and when we embark upon this, truly it is impossible to be lonely or alone.
Most of our lives we struggle with problems of all kinds. Our energy, focus and days are revolved around, what's wrong and how we can fix it. All day long we are protecting ourselves from danger. However, the true solution of all our problems is far too easy for us to believe. We long for complication, difficulties and to be stronger than life itself. However, when a life of struggle grows futile and tiresome, a brand new door opens up. This is the door to ease and delight, a new way of living based upon simple truths . And, as we proceede along the way it is easy to Taste and See That Life is Good.
Most of us battle time, try to make it go slower, go backwards or forwards. We try to hold time in our grasp. Time seems dangerous even, as it flows inexorably onwards and we are unable to stop the flow, always wondering where we are headed, and what will happen when we arrive. As we constantly weave back and forth between the past and future, time plays tricks with us. Rather than being thoroughly present in what's happening now, we focus upon remembering, comparing and hoping things will work out as we like. I's fascinating to finally see that all of the anguish time creates is simply the mind playing tricks on us.. Time is our dearest friend, our very life, and how we enter and relate to time, will dictate the very quality of our lives. One minute can seem to last for hours, or it can slip away unlived. Let's explore time and see that we can always be at ease with its flow we are a natural part of.
When disturbed we search here and there for all kinds of cures and medicines, not realizing what is medicine and what is poison.. What creates more confusion and upset, and what truly heals. It is amazing to see that true healing is simple, easy, available all the time.. Zen practice returns us to the basic, natural, rhythms and gifts of life. We take our attention back from all the ways in which it has been scattered and misapplied. We see how life itself, when thoroughly attended to, has gifts and healings abundantly available. Let us quiet down, turn around, and explore the healing that has always been right in front of our eyes.
So much of the time we are rocked back and forth by disappointment and confusion. We may blame others, or life itself, but in truth distress takes over because of where we have placed our trust. We are trained to put our faith and trust in authorities of all kinds, teachings, teachers, newspapers, and so called experts in every area. And all the time the true expert, the real basis of well being and strength is right in front of our eyes, living our lives, whispering in our ears, guiding us step by step. Why is it so difficult to listen to what we hear, see what we see, be grateful for the endless gifts we receive each day, even be unaware of them? Let us return to our original wisdom, and live a life based on our deepest truths.
So many resist change, as if the only way to stay steady and strong is for everything to be stable. Then we'll know who we are and how to behave. We live inside the illusion that security comes with being in an unchanging, familiar world. However, this illusion is disrupted all the time, as our lives consist of nothing but change. And, the great art of remaining, steady and stable is to view change differently. Change is not our enemy, change is not loss. Change is only change. Once we know it, expect it, let go of resisting it, we become at home and secure in the very experience of change itself. This requires letting go of our endless craving to hold on, grasp things tightly. Instead, in this beautiful, new way of being, we simply learn how to open our hands.
We all feel we have so many burdens, one thing to do after the next. And it never ends. Day by day, hour by hour, we search around for what's next. How can we improve things, what needs to be done now? Zazen practice comes to tell us to sit down quietly, breathe, realize that it's all done. Our racing minds and hearts have been playing with us, throwing us here and there. The longer we sit still, truly doing nothing, letting the breath breathe us, letting the thoughts drift up and leave, we start to feel the delicious presence that we naturally are. This Presence is filled with all we need and all that everyone needs as well. It's already here, taking care of everything easily and completely. All we have to do is allow that. To stop trying to run the show. To stop having to be important. Instead, just to Be. What a wonderful discovery. What a gift to ourselves and the entire world. Try this is your relationships as well. You'll be thrilled.
This is a holiday season of freedom from bondage of all kinds, a time to step bravely into The Unknown . Many cannot make that step, as they feel safer with that which is familiar, even if it is hurtful to them. It is a question of which messages we listen to. Do we listen to the call of our spirit, the deep inner knowing of where we belong? Or do we listen to the voices that surround us that insist we stay in our old place. All growth, all power and all true love belong to us and will appear in our lives as we break free from the chains that bind us, and take that step into The Unknown.
We all want to be Unshakeable, to be able to weather any storm that comes. Most of us think that the way to do so is to resist difficulties, remove ourselves, focus on something else. When we do so, that which is troubling us doesn't disappear. It simply goes underground and gives fuel to underlying anxiety and fear that can hit at any time.
The true way to be Unshakeable is to make friends with all of life. To allow each moment, each person, and each event that comes to be what it is. To experience it fully and then simply let it go. When we do not cling to a moment, try to own it, identify with it, or become embroiled in other ways, it naturally disappears and transforms into something else. Although we might like this to happen with difficult moments, we want to hold onto happy or beautiful moments and people endlessly. The secret is we must adopt this open allowing with all moments, people and events. Let them Live. Let them Be As and Who They Are. As we say in Zen, "When You Come We Welcome, When You Go We Do Not Pursue"
There's a sure way to make your life Unshakeable, enjoyable and positive no matter what's going on. Just learn the simple and powerful art of looking through the eyes of love. Usually we start the day with concern, hoping this or that will work out well. At the same time, we drink in the endless difficult and negative message sent to us by the world. And then we search with all our might to find something or someone to counteract the hard times we face. However, we can turn all of this around easily. Real love is always waiting right where we are. As we learn the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love, we also learn how simple it is to offer Real love, to be open, available, and kind. The simplicity of this is startling, as are the wonderful effects on all. And, as we do this, the endless negativity has no choice but to melt away.
Read The Unshakeable Road To Love, (Value Centered Relationships) and find out more. www.totalrelationshipsnow.com
There's an incredible secret of zazen practice, and of living our everyday lives. Don't Sit To Get Something. Just Sit To Sit. Sit to discover what sitting really is, what you are, and what this amazing world that we're part of it. Usually, we live, or practice to achieve an end. We want to be better, smarter, more in control. We want to hold onto which we love and refuse to allow change to be change. What a mistake! That way of living or sitting, only causes heartache and disappointment in the end. What we do not realize until we actually practice this new way of sitting, is that the more we let go of our personal demands, intentions and claims, the more we receive. That which comes to us is unexpected, delightful, and perfect in its way. Loneliness fades away as we experience our lives in an entirely different way.
We all wear masks, costumes and cling to the identity we are creating as if it's who we actually are. What we do not realize is that these masks not only close the world out, but also imprison us behind them. Then we wonder why we feel so alone, or disconnected. But as soon as we begin to take the mask and costumes off, realize it's not who's really living inside, Then a beautiful freedom begins to come. Not only freedom, but a sense of belonging and connection to all of life. Zen practice is entirely about slowly taking off our masks and costumes, or when we're wearing them, realizing it's just a play we're in. When we realize we're simply playing a part in an emormous play, and do not identify with the role we're playing, so much entanglement and pain dissolves. We can even enjoy things just as they are, as we stay in touch with the Real One who's living within. Clarity and enjoyment arises as we get in touch with the wonderful being who's right there, just behind our costumes. And, as we do, we never can feel separated or alone.
The answer to being free of suffering is right in front of our face. It's so easy to do, and is really all that is needed. The answer arises from our endless need to always have something else, something different. What we have or receive in life, moment by moment is never quite right. It's not enough. Has to be fixed. We spend most of our precious time looking for something else, going around and around on the merry go round, trying to grab the golden ring. But the golden ring is right here, every moment and person that comes to us, just as it is. We don't have to look somewhere else. Whatever arises, realize that you do not need something else. Just be with what comes one hundred per cent... (including yourself).. Honor it, accept it. Stop rejecting yourself and your experience.. And then it will go its way and the next moment will appear. You'll actually have a wonderful time all day long then, no matter what arises. You'll suddenly see the harmony and connection between all...you'll realize that there is no need to fight off or control each moment. Instead you can truly make friends with all of life.
Most of us feel that our life is like a fragile boat floating on the wild ocean. All kinds of unexpected currents arise, threatening our stability. From out of nowhere high tide comes, or perhaps a rip tide. A sunny sky turns cloudy in a moment and thunder storms can be right behind. It is difficult to experience a sense of stability and safety when we imagine our lives to be like that. When we think we are at the mercy of greater forces that can attack from out of nowhere. When we focus upon that which is transitory, upon the passing show of life, when we believe that is who we are, we are always subject to fluctuations and feel out of control. But when we undertake the practice of Zen, we return to our essential selves, which cannot be rocked around. We return to that which is not affected by the endless changes of life, and which can bring clarity, light and the warmth of love to all our experiences. Then even one sip of delicious tea delights and fills us completely.
Many feel that love is scarce, and it must be sought, earned or fought for. Not only that, it can be lost in the blink of an eye.. They may hide from love, feeling it is painful, and the price is too high to pay. However, this has nothing to do with love at all. If it hurts, or is scarce, it is not real love. What you are up against then, is Counterfeit Love, It's crucial to know the difference. Real love is abundantly available, flows to all, is the Unshakeable ground of our lives. We do not need to find the Perfect Person, or even change anyone at all. The love we are seeking is right within ourselves, when we change the way we view our relationships, how we respond to others. The very search to get love from another, to have them meet your needs is what keeps it from you. Instead, turn around and find ways to give love, to uplift, without looking for something in return. The greatest return you can ever have, is the wonderful experience of love you will be filled with.. You will stop using others to meet your needs then, and instead encounter the fundamental beauty and warmth of all. (From The Unshakeable Road to Love); www.totalrelationshipsnow.com
Most of us are driven by the confusion we live in. It causes us to take actions, enter relationships, and go on journeys that often lead us astray. This stream is driven by automatic rseponses, old beliefs, painful emotions and what may seem uncontrollable. It is also fueled by strong yearnings and needs. However, as often as are lives are activated by this stream, the rewards, successes and times of fulfillment that arrive are only temporary. Zen practice offers a wonderful, simple alternative to being driven in this way. It is a way all can embark upon to stop the power of confusion and allows us to engage with life in a way that inevitably brings meaning and fulfillment each step of the way. Come listen to the podcast and explore this.
We all think a moment will come in our lives when things will fall into place - our relationships will work out, the day will be beautiful, we'll get just what we've worked for and a sense of success and belonging will come. It's all about to come, one day. We wait for the future to bring this about, to taste the results of our efforts... This attitude itself, keeps our joy and well being life away. We keep striving and striving for some image we hold onto, rather than truly jumping in and tasting each day, meeting each person encountering each moment completely. When we do, we can see that we're alive right now! We Belong. We're here, breathing, part of this incredible universe, one with all that goes on. Our sorrow and pain comes from our deep sense of alienation, separation, being cast out. Many feel they do not make the grade, may spend their whole life trying to make it. It is so simple and urgent to see through that, to stop comparing ourselves with others, and realize that all of us are precious, and belong here, just as we are.
We spend most of our time on one road or another hoping to arrive at a destination. So much of our lives hoping, travelling, waiting, looking. And yet, the great wisdom of Zen practice shows us that there is nowhere to go. You can't find it that way. All is here, waiting for us. It is available, open and plentiful. It is our endless searching somewhere else that leads us astray. This searching takes us away from our true destination and our true fulfillment. Why is it so difficult to give up seeking, to postpone being with that which we are? Not only Zen practice, but the discovery of a love that is true, unshakeable and available to all of us is always Rght Here!
So much of the time we are searching here and there for what belongs to us. We have no idea that right in the midst of our lives is our very own treasure house.. It's there, waiting to be opened, enjoyed and depended upon. And yet, most feel they have no idea how to find the nourishment and guidance they long for. Instead of turning to their own treasure house, they live off the ideas, discoveries and jewels of others. What a mistake! Each of us have a unique road to travel, our own journey to take. It is easy to stumble and fall when we do not realize that, and follow the treasures of others. We hope for a drop of true guidance here and there, when all that we need, an abundance of riches is waiting for us within. Better to open your own treasure house and live a life that is real and meaningful for you.
It is so easy to get caught up in the scenery of life and be distracted from the journey we are on. All kinds of different scenery appears as we go along, beautiful days, thunder clouds, intoxicating moments, and sometimes passengers on our trip we can't stand to be around. Many of us give up the journey, or get off at the next stop because of the passing scenery. Either we love it so much, we forget where we're going, only want to be in that place. Or, we find the scenery so upsetting we get off the train to hide from it. This happens in all areas of our lives, including our relationships. Living this way we are blown around like helpless leaves in the wind. We are unaware of our true roots, which keep us centered and unshakeable through all that comes and goes. When we see where are our true roots and well being are, we also see how to nourish them, and make any kind of journey in ease and peace.
As we approach a New Year, in order to make it new, it is necessary to approach it differently, or we get the same old thing again and again... When one asks what is Zen and how can it be helpful, an important part may be left out of the answer. That part is the need for "practice" or what we call zazen. To many Zen is just being fully present and allowing things to be fresh and new. That is certainly an important aspect., but what we do not realize is that being fully present and the wonderful experience of "Allowing life and all in it to be", need to be cultivated. It is important to practice the way, to give it our whole hearted attention. When we want something to be really new, we are going against the current of habits, thoughts and conditioning we have established over many years. To do this requires courage, and also the willingness to practice our new direction again and again. As we do so, we make the way our own, into our flesh and bones as is said. Once it becomes our flesh and bones, we embody the beautiful, new way of seeing, receiving, and stepping into each moment of our lives.
Is there something we can depend upon whole heartedly that will never let us down? It seems as if that's impossible in this ever changing world. Throughout our lives we try everything, hoping to receive what we are needing this time. And to keep it at our side. As the years go by, most would say it is difficult to find that precious jewel. That what we need is not available, or perhaps it is rare and easy to lose.
However, the joke is that the precious jewel is right here, wherever we are. It has always been and not only that, it is not hiding anywhere! It is only that we are looking elsewhere, grabbing for this or that. And all the time everything we have always wanted and needed, is with us all the time. What a wonderful way to start the New Year, letting go of a futile search and seeing what is right under our feet, step by step.
It might seem that it is impossible to be planted, centered and unshakeable amidst the many storms and shocks life brings our way. Being tossed around by the winds of change and by unexpected events may seem like the norm. Many of us do not realize that beneath the turbulence all around an Unshakeable Life lies waiting for us. There is a road we can travel along and a different way to walk.
The first step in living this new life is knowing that such a road exists. We must realize that the road is spread out beneath us at all times and we are always being supported and held. The next step is to see what it is that causes us to find ourselves drifting onto so many other pathways that lead to sorrow, confusion and pain. It is not difficult to discover this. Clarity and light are always available to discern our way. The only impediment are the endless illusions, poisons and temptations that accost us daily. But, once we see what they are, and how they operate, it is easy and natural to take brand new steps.
Most of the time we are dissatisfied with what's going on. Nothing is as we wanted it to be, or just right. The gifts we receive, the people we meet, the results of our efforts seldom hit the spot. We may re-double our efforts, look for new friends, change the course of our work, or just throw up our hands in despair. Something we do not realize though, is that Dissatisfaction Is Not Necessary. And it is not inevitable. We are totally in charge of how we react to what is going on. Most of us cannot help but compulsively look not for what is right, but what is wrong. We automatically search for what doesn't work and what off about the people we meet.
This automatic and lethal focus is the source of our unhappiness. But the good news is that it is possible to change it in an instant. We can take charge of our focus, and instead look for what is right, satisfying and meaningful about everyone and every moment. It's there if we open to it, see it, acknowledge it and give thanks.
Most of the time we cling tightly to whatever we have, and consider the clinging to be love. But clinging leads to sorrow. Attachment leads to grasping and fear and is not healthy. Also, attachment is not what any of us truly want. We all want freedom in life and in our relationships. The freedom to be who we are, to be loved for ourselves, the freedom be known, and to be real with others. This kind of freedom grows and prospers in an atmosphere of compassion, not clinging. Compassion arises from another part of oneself. It is the doorway to true caring and happiness. Attachment is concerned with our own needs, not losing what we have. Compassion is concerned with the other, what we can give. Let us explore the road to compassion and find joy in our every step.
Zen practice is actually the opposite of many practices. Here, we stop seeking anything and develop the ability to be with everything just as it is. And relish it.
In most practices and in our life itself, we are constantly seeking something else. When we find what we like we cling tight, but of course, as each moment is different, and nothing can be repeated exactly as it was. This constant change can bring a sense of insecurity or it can bring the awareness of infinite possibilities. We can discover all we need is always right here.
Zen practice guides us to fully embrace each moment, as it arises and as it passes on. This is such a wonderful practice for relationships, where we want everything to be a certain way, and turn away when people change. However, when we realize that each moment is full and complete, change does not make us insecure. We can welcome and allow each person to be as they are, knowing that the next moment will be different, fresh and new. Then our lives and relationships are constantly renewed as we receive them that way.
We're right in the midst of the holiday season, offering thanks, giving gifts. But rather than being only joyous, this time of year can become fraught with anxiety. These kinds of questions accost us. Did I give enough? Are they pleased with me and my gift? What will I receive in return? Many feel drained and exhausted by all the demands they feel are upon them now. All of this only comes because we are not aware of what True Giving is. Instead we are caught in "transaction", the rule of the marketplace. You give me this, and I'll give you that. Or, my value depends upon others liking and appreciating what I give. This podcast explores the reality of True Giving, which is easy, natural, fun and has no negative consequences of any kind. Come join us in this exploration, and give what is truly fulfilling to both others and yourself.
So often we become hurt in our relationships and have no idea why. When something seems sweet and enticing, we feel it is good for us, and beneficial. When we have happy feelings or think our needs are being met we feel that all is going well. Then, when things change, great disappointment, resentment and confusion can be stirred up. That is because we do not know the difference between poison and medicine. We do not know the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love. Counterfeit love is based upon myths and illusions, which must always fail to stand the test of time. Real love is different. It is not based upon feelings. It is the ground we can always stand on, and be strong, content and beneficial to all. Let's start the wonderful adventure of exploring the difference between these two and starting to walk along a new road. The Unshakeable Road to Love.
When we practice Zen principles and actually live them in our relationships what we are doing is building a foundation for love. These principles do not only belong to Zen, but are part of all the world's scriptures. They are laws, like the laws of gravity, and when understood and taken to heart, all our encounters become beneficial and heart warming. It is extremely important that these true principles be recognized, and that we become able to know the difference between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Then we can understand what it is that really causes conflict and upset and how to stop it on the spot. This episode opens a new door to our understanding of how to practice Zen in our Everyday Lives. It includes specific actions, exercises and interventions which show how to live these truths, day by day with everyone we meet.
The Podcast Is Based upon my new book, The Unshakeable Road To Love (Value Centered Relationships).. www.totalrelationshipsnow.com
We are all longing for the right relationship, one where we feel loved, safe and understood. However, despite how much we try to make that happen, it is very common for disappointment and conflict to arise. Some feel that suffering is inevitable in relationships and an Unshakeable love cannot be found. That is because we are not building our relationships on a foundation which is strong and solid and cannot fail. As we walk on the Unshakeable Road to love, however, we are taking a radically different approach. We no longer approach one another in the same way, but enter a completely new perspective about where true happiness lay. For example, one of the Pillars of Love we encounter is that, To Be Happy You Do Not Have To Be Loved, You Have To Learn What It Means To Be Loving. So many surprises are waiting for us when we do. Find Out More on www.totalrelationshipsnow.com
We believe that each day is like another and that we return to the same situation again and again. Some feel stuck by this, others feel there are endless chances to do what is needed. What we do not realize is that this day, this step, this moment will not come again. When we are not aware of what is going on right now, not present to the moment, everything seems the same. When we live in our ideas, dreams and fantasies, we do not even taste our precious life. In truth each moment, each breath, step and person we encounter is always brand new. They can't be the same as they were even a moment ago. It is only our dreamy foggy state of mind that refuses to recognize the ever flowing stream we live in that constantly refreshes, renews, and provides endless possibilities for aliveness.
There are so many voices, sounds, and noises that confront us hour by hour, day by day. They easily becoming disturbing, confusing and contradict one another. Rather than understanding, confusion and upset appears. We deeply want to get the meaning, but the message eludes us. Beneath all the noises, we do not hear the harmony, the truth of all we are hearing, the song of the Universe. As we sit in silence, and learn to truly listen, without interference or withdrawal, the real voice can be heard, We hear the true message of the Universe and the beauty of the song it is singing. Confusion vanishes by itself and we can then clearly respond.
Real meetings are magical. They happen spontaneously when we least expect it. As we let go of our usual routines, expectations and that which we depend upon, an opening can happen for a real meeting to take place. The Hut can be anywhere, a place that is not bound or guarded by heavy walls, and patterns. In many spiritual traditions those who practice, leave their usual place of abode and go to a hut of one kind or another where it's easy to see that life changes in a moment, is fragile, and our usual attachments are taken away. Then each moment becomes precious on its own and each visitors is welcomed with a full heart. Sitting in the hut together, not clinging to anything, the ceiling open to see the sky, the meeting that takes place between us is filled with the infinite.
In Zen practice, every moment counts, every detail of our life calls for attention. A famous Zen saying says, "Messy shoes, messy mind." This guides us not to throw things around, helter skelter, but to be aware of how things have served us, and where they belong. Therefore the instruction, pick your coat up from the floor and put it where it belongs. Such a simple action with far ranging effects. Don't throw something away after you've used it. Place it where it needs to be, for its sake and for yours. When our lives are filled with careful order and attention, harmony enters our world. This instruction not only applies not only to our coats and shoes, but to those we meet in our lives as well. If someone needs to be lifted up, do not hesitate to do so. Do not throw others or relationships around. Don't use them when needed and then throw to the floor. One simple careful Zen instruction like this, followed thoroughly impacts our entire lives. The simpler the instruction the better, the further it reaches all.
Not realizing who we truly are, we constantly struggle to prove our worth. One activity and relationship after another is used to feel good about ourselves, to attain a meaningful identity. And this identity that we work so hard to fulfill goes through endless success and failure. Up and down, back and forth. Ultimately as this go on, despair sets in. Many feel they can never be good enough. But where does this identity come from? Who created it? And have you stopped a moment, gotten off the merry go round and realized that you are already fully and simply who you are. What's wrong with that? Who you really are Cannot Fail. Have you even made acquaintance with that person? Why the constant compulsion to reject ourselves and become something more? Come listen and find out.
A well known saying in Zen is, "When they come, we welcome, when they go, we do not pursue." This beautiful teaching is in itself the heartbeat of our practice. As we sit in zazen and do not move, we stop grabbing for what we want, or pushing away what is troubling. Instead we see it all, embrace it, become the space in which everything arises and then departs. When there is no clinging to what is here at the moment, there is no pain when it goes its way. Instead we realize that something else always arises, stays awhile and leaves. This is the very nature of our lives itself, and when we can embrace it, see the beauty of it, experience the freshness and delight, the deep sense of loss and grief we live with departs as well. And we are finally able to "Hold the Whole World In The Palm of Our Hand."
We live most of our lives in thoughts, images, dreams and expectations. When something comes to an end, or when we feel lost and confused, the question comes, "Where is the next step?" There is always somewhere we are headed, a new turn in the road to take. When we consult our thoughts, seeking an answer, it's easy to go around and around. Focusing upon images, rather than their actual life, many feel lost and betrayed. The sun may be shining, the sky is clear blue, and yet many are living in a fog. Zen practice comes to turn all of this around. The answer to questions that haunt us are always simple. The next step is right under your feet. Take it. Nowhere to go. Wherever you are is perfect right now. Just be there fully. Be there without complaining, with attention, and even gratitude. Then the next step becomes very clear. It's right under your feet once again.
Our lives are guided by our hopes for either the past or future. We hope to change or hold onto people and events in the past, or gain something new and important in the future. This focus often blinds us to so much that is going on now. What we actually have and what we do and do not need. Not only do our hopes filter out what's going on now, but cause huge struggle and upset when our wishes aren't met. An incredible question arises, however, to question this way of life. "Do you have the right to hope for that?" This itself is a koan. Of course the feeling of hope arises naturally. The question asks however, to look at what is here now and see what the particular hope we are clinging to is doing to our life. Is it a denial of reality, a refusal to let go? It is something that will ultimately be harmful to ourselves or others. Plunging into dreams it's easy to forget and deny this moment and all that is waiting for us, right here, right now.
Many of us become so disappointed in ourselves, thinking of all the times we've messed up. Of course, we hide it, pretend it's not happening, and judge ourselves and others harshly. We focus on all we've done wrong in our lives, rather than what the outcome of our errors could be. . However, from the Zen point of view, everything is needed. All times of confusion, error, sorrow and other unwanted experiences are the mud of our life. But without the mud, a flower cannot bloom. All trees, flowers, bushes, have deep roots in the mud, which nourish them. In the same way, the hard times in our lives and our mistakes can fertilize the wonderful growth and compassion we are capable. When we see how the mud and lotus flower are interconnected, a new horizon opens wide. No need to hate or blame ourselves or others. Just see what we can learn from the mud under our feet, how it can support real growth, love and wisdom.
Most of our lives feel like a journey, where we go from here to there, focusing upon our destination, hoping it will be wonderful when we arrive. There's a direction we're headed in and without a direction we can feel lost. The world can seem anchorless or even meaningless and chaotic. Zen practice goes a different way. The circle is a a deep expression of Zen, where at every point we are just where we belong. Even though it may look as though we are going around and around in circles, Life itself has a greater intelligence and pattern which works itself through us. No need to come and go frantically. Life places us just where we belong. As we sit still in the midst of all wanderings, no only do we become planted, but all of a sudden can see where we're truly headed and where we've come from.
No matter how wonderful an experience we are having is, usually we want more and more. It's never enough. In fact, the better something is, the emptier we feel when it is over and the deeper the desire for more. This itself is the cause of so much craving craving, loneliness and suffering. It is a great art to be able to say, Thank you, This Suffices. This is more than enough."
How can we arrive at that state of mind? What is needed in order to feel full and complete, even grateful for what we've received? The entire practice of zen is the path towards this condition. Each step taking fully, one hundred per cent, is the direction. In fact, there is no destination or outcome we are after. The moment itself is full in itself. It suffices. When we stop taking each moment as just a step on the way, and instead, enter it fully, incredible happiness and satisfaction arises, for no reason at all.
We are all longing for freedom, freedom to be who we are. Throughout the centuries, over and over the cry comes in so many forms. So many practices are dedicated to becoming free, emotionally, spiritually, socially. Many dedicate their lives and work to this goal. But what is it that is constraining us? What is freedom exactly, and how is it truly experienced? Zen practice asks us to stop our race, pause a moment and really see where we are not free? What is it that is confining us, trapping us? Where is it? Zen asks us to Return to simplicity, to our breath, our life, each step we take. When we Return and take our attention off the endless voices, memories and beliefs that storm us, then we are able to encounter that which is open, loving, available and freedom itself, in every step we take.
So much of the time we struggle for happiness, thinking it is in our control. First we need the right answers, plans, friends, directions. And yet even when we have all that, happiness is often elusive. It does not arise as a result of man made plans. It does not arise because we demand it. Yet happiness is inherent in our being and every step we take in truth.
The way to invite happiness into our lives, however, is counter-intuitive. First we must stop chasing it, wanting it, figuring ways to grab it. Happiness cannot be demanded or grabbed. It also cannot be bought.
Happiness arises naturally, instead, when we learn to stop, to take a great pause and make room in our lives for it to appear. We must also make room for ourselves to appreciate it, welcome it, not be fixated on everything else. When we learn to go in the right direction, happiness is only a step away.
All day long we find something to complain about that doesn't suit our needs or likes. Whether we voice our complaints out loud or repeat them to ourselves in our mind, there's no end to them. We think that by complaining, we're actually doing something about what's wrong. Not so. Complaining is simply an addiction that makes everything worse. We're using our precious energy to reject, fight and judge whatever comes. This blocks out the beauty of the day, the new possibilities and the chance we have for starting fresh. Complaining makes a new day old and tired, and does the same to us as well. Listen for a new look at this old habit.
In their relationships, many want to be both close and free at the same time. They crave the connection and intimacy but at the same time need freedom. We all need to grow, change, express ourselves and be who we are. The art of balancing freedom and closeness is what makes relationships fulfilling and also challenging at the same time. That is why relationhships are an amazing spiritual practice. This practices forces us to understand that the true nature of freedom and independence is not going to hurt anyone. It doesn't ignore the feelings and rights of others. In fact when we are free to be true to ourselves, it is only then that we can truly be a real friend. It is then that we can feel safe with others, able to know them, enjoy them, and grow together along our journey. The secret of finding freedom in relationships becomes clear as we find the freedom to express, honor and respect ourselves without fear of others reactions, and loss.
It's so easy for relationships to erupt into all kinds of conflicts, upset and disappointment. One minute we're feeling fine, the next moment, we're triggered. Rather than handle upset after it's happened, go through all kinds of regret and remorse, there are wonderful ways of preventing conflict and misunderstanding from happening in the first place. These different guidellines are from Value Centered Relationships, based on eternal truths from all world scriptures. By stopping and bowing to the other (in our mind) before we interact, we take charge of the atmosphere between us, and also our state of mind. In that moment we are looking at the other through a different set of eyes, bowing to that which is worthy and beautiful in them, rather than looking to win a battle of some kind.
Zen Relationships are simple, easy and full of life. There's no place to stop or hesitate, no turning the clock backwards to become complete. This moment before us contains all possibilities for starting new, being complete and experiencing the love we long for. Most relationships are filled with memories of past failures, old hopes, demands and dreams. In Zen Relationships/ Value Centered Relationships, the past is not discarded, but transformed into fertilizer for something brand new. We actually become thankful for the past and this thankfulness is a wonderful bridge to happiness. Nothing outside ourselves need to changed. With a simple change of perspective, a re-direction of our focus, all we have ever wanted becomes available.
We all have the misconception that we are in charge of our day. We make to do lists, focus on goals and walk around with endless expectations. When things don't go our way, we become upset, declare ourselves a failure, or demand that the person we're with change. What a missed opportunity for relaxation, happy surprises and fun. Not only in our relationships but with everything that takes place. When the realization arises, that despite all our plans and insistence, a greater intelligence is partnering with us, making the arrangements, bringing some people together and others apart, everything changes. Wee can take a huge weight off our shoulders and enjoy the moments as they arise. We are letting life live, letting ourselves and our relationships breathe. By offering that kind of space and respect, we make the way for wonderful things to happen, way beyond what we can have ever planned. It may not be up to us to make everything happen as we imagine, but it is always within our power to allow the day to go as it does.
Come listen to the podcast to discover more.
So much of our life and relationships get caught in dramatic thunderstorms, where we fight loudly, demanding that our rights and needs be met. The more we struggle, the louder we fight, the more the thunderstorms rages and the less we receive what we truly want. Caught in the whirl of anger and disappointment, hope dims, love fades and, swept up on the shore by the storm, we can feel alone. The startling truth, however, is that all of this can change in a moment. We need not be captive to the storm. The way we've been going about things has been based upon deep misunderstanding about who we are, what we truly need, and how to receive it in a moment. There are simple, infallible actions we can take based upon timeless truths, that will still the storm quickly, and allow us to step onto firm ground.
We are in the midst of the clamor of different voice beings raised and all kinds of confusing information being released. it's easy to get lost in the whirl, not knowing what to listen to, who to believe or what to do next. The voices within and without are persistent, noisy and actually distort what is truly taking place, and where to go from here.
However, when we learn how to quiet those voice, turn down the dial ,and allow the simplicity of life and the silence to arise, our direction becomes simple and clear. And we can then truly hear those we encounter, and be heard. Our steps become firm and guided by a deeper knowingness within. This is available to all. And the process is natural and life giving. Come join us and find out more.
Many of us spend our time disappointed, in each other, in the day, and in the outcome of our efforts. Our focus is on what we want and expect, how it's going and when we will receive our just rewards. This focus is so limited that we do not see or experience even a fraction of what's going on. We never taste all the wonderful gifts that are being given moment after moment, all day long. Instead, we take everything for granted, not stopping to really feel and experience what is there.
However, when we take even a little while to let go of the endless mental chatter and personal demands and become open and silent, another world presents itself to us. That world is both within and without, and in it wait all that we have ever dreamed of. Come listen and find out more.
Most of us repeat the same old pattern in relationships again and again. We react automatically to whatever happens, based upon our expectations and conditioning. This puts us on a merry go round that keeps spinning and it seems that there is no way off. But there is. The way is simple, enjoyable, healthy and incredibly life giving. Value Centered Relationships bases all relationships on Timeless Principles from all World Scriptures that cannot fail. They form the perfect pillars for building a foundation in your relationship that can weather any storm. And keep you grounded, happy and able to love and to grow.
Believe it or not, there was an amazing teacher in India called the Jillalemudi Mother, and when asked who she was replied, "I am the Mother Who Cannot Be Wounded." A friend lived at her ashram for several years. No matter what was done or said to her, she only responded with love. Couldn't be otherwise. Some say she was born in that condition. As years went by and people heard about her they came in droves. She fed all who came, made sure no one went away hungry. Her very appearance was and is an invitation to another way of being and living. This does not mean to compare ourselves t her, or imitate her, but to see that what is possible for us as human beings is much vaster and more beautiful than we could have ever thought.
So often we search for meaning, connection or fulfillment in our relationships. We may do all the right things, find the "right" people, spend quality time together and yet a sense of "meaning or fullness" eludes us. We try to figure out why this is happening, not realizing that "meaning or fulfillness" is not a commodity, not something we can order up like a good meal. It is not found logically, but is alive. As Martin Buber says, "meaning happens" between us when we are truly present, available, and real. When we are not focused upon ourselves and personal needs, the beauty and magic of our connection happens all by itself.
During the holiday season so many feel alone, remembering those who are no longer here, or the holidays gone by. This is a time of love and connection, celebrating together and sharing memories. As times are different right now, we must reach further into our relationships and realize that those we've loved and interacted with deeply are always with us. Right here. Our connection cannot disappear although the physical person may no longer be seen. But that which loved, that which laughed and touched us, that part, can never be destroyed. On our holiday journey to freedom and to truth, this is a such a vital point to experience. Once we have our relationship with the infinite strong, it's clear that nothing goes away. Blessings and love to all.
Most of us the sorrow, upset and difficulty in relationships happens when things don't go our way. Our hopes, demands, images and dreams have been dashed. All the work we did to make things "work out" has failed. Many label themselves and others failures. They refuse to try again, or develop resentment against themselves, against others and even life itself. What we do not see is that everything works out perfectly, just as it does. Whatever happens is beneficial for us, if we know how to receive it properly. When we view ourselves and others as failures, we basically having a tantrum, because things didn't work out as we wished. We are rejecting what life is offering, and demanding that we know best. However, there is a larger intelligence that knows better than any of us. It seems the largest picture possible and responds in accordance with that. Once we are able to allow that larger intelligence to work as it does, to receive, honor and taste it fully our anger and upset dissolve. Then, we too, can see the true meaning in all that happens, and the love that is always underneath it all.
PART 2:
his Episode is in two parts. It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically, in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash another because it grows differently. In fact each supports the life of the other in a pattern way beyond our knowing. Why is this is not so in relationships? What is it that causes the constant disruption, friction, hurt and anger we experience with one another. How can it be dissolved so that our relationships, like everything else can return to the natural harmony? Perhaps this sounds impossible, but it is not. There is wisdom we can apply to our interactions that allows us all to make real room for everyone to be exactly as they are, including ourselves. We can find ways to make space to be together in a natural and healthy manner that allows to love and respect to appear.
This Episode is in two parts. It's fascinating to notice that the natural world works together organically, in incredible harmony, intelligence. Night follows day, spring follows winter. Everything has a time and place and is allowed to function as it is intended. There's no competition between flowers for which is more beautiful. One tree does not try to squash another because it grows differently. In fact each supports the life of the other in a pattern way beyond our knowing. Why is this is not so in relationships? What is it that causes the constant disruption, friction, hurt and anger we experience with one another. How can it be dissolved so that our relationships, like everything else can return to the natural harmony? Perhaps this sounds impossible, but it is not. There is wisdom we can apply to our interactions that allows us all to make real room for everyone to be exactly as they are, including ourselves. We can find ways to make space to be together in a natural and healthy manner that allows to love and respect to appear.
The great suffering we all endure is the sense of separation from one another and ourselves. The world as we experience it, is experienced as an opponent. We're always getting ready for trouble, danger, sorrow and betrayal. As we build up our defenses, we are in fact, creating the prison of fear and aloneness we then become trapped in. The stronger our defenses and opposition to life are, the less we are able to taste that which would free and save us. When we, let the world in, stop opposing, judging and fighting it off, our strength returns. We begin to taste the precious oneness, which will enliven, heal and fill us with the happiness, love and well being we have been longing for.
We live as though we are separate, and seek connection, provision and understanding wherever we go. However, Zen practice shows us that whatever we do, we are connected. There is nothing but relationship. And as we understand and practice this, as we honor all that comes to us, it becomes easy to see that the Giver and Receiver are one. The ancient Zen practice of begging, Takahatsu, displays this beautiful dance wonderfully. The monks come into the village to receive provisions. They wear a straw hat, cover their eyes, and chant as they arrive to let the villagers now they're coming. Then they simply hold out their empty bowl. When someone comes to make an offering, both bow to one another, and no one can see the others face. There is no shame for another, no praise for giving, just the act of giving and receiving in which they are One. And thanks from both sides for the gift each gives. What a beautiful model of a relationship, as each plays their role harmoniously and both gives and receives at the same time. Nothing unfulfilled.
It might come as a surprise to wonder about what our relationship is dedicated to, but this important step makes all the difference in how things will proceed. For many a relationship is a shelter to hide from the world in. For others it is a delicious meal, there to fill them up and make them happy. When they become tired of the food, or can no longer digest it, the relationship ends. There are those who seek relationships in order to feel valuable, for status, position, or a role to play in life. Inherent in the way you see your relationships is the difficulty you will encounter, and the road it will take. However, there is another way to view and dedicate a relationship. We can dedicate it to growth, aliveness, kindness, the ability to let go of our defensiveness, to give and receive connection and ultimately experience the exquisite taste of the true love and Oneness we all are.
One of the cornerstones of all relationships is the giving and receiving of support. For many this becomes complicated as they feel the happiness of another is dependent upon them. They must guide or control another. Many stop focusing upon their own lives, believing it's their job to take away another's suffering. This kind of relationship is often based upon sharing mutual suffering, leaning on one another, and it only makes the suffering more intense. All of these modes of being are based upon misunderstanding, and the support received in that way, often weakens and depletes both parties.
In Zen Practice, there is Unwavering Support available, but it comes to us and others on a different basis. As we sit together in the silence, focusing upon our breath, not moving, not speaking and not interfering with the pain of another, enormous support arises for all. This support arises from a different level of our being. That part allows all things to come into our experience and then to leave. As we sit through whatever arises, not only do we become strong and make room for the pain to dissolve, we lend our presence, strength and support to others as well.
When we look deeply at Zen it is easy to see that truly, it is truly the practice of love. The practice of nurturing out lives and the lives of all we meet It may seem odd to think that love is a practice! Most think of it as a spontaneous arising of the heart, something that comes out of the blue. While that may be so, it is also important to prepare the soil of our lives for this great gift to flourish, for the flower of love to bloom. As we plant the seeds of love in a ripe soil that has been well prepared, and make sure to weed the garden, we are actually practicing love. Seeds tossed into a soil that is unprepared will not grow. Or, a plant, tree or love relationship that is starting to blossom may be cut short or even strangled by weeds that have not been pulled out. The practice of love assures us that we are providing favorable conditions that allow the best within ourselves and others to bloom naturally. Come listen to the podcast and discover more.
We all want love and then when we find it can become enormously thrilled. Things may be wonderful, perfect for a while. We are caught in the delicious excitement of finding love. But after awhile, inevitably that excitement fades. And the sense of having found what we've always been searching for may disappear as well. The question then often rises, "What happened? Where did the love go?" The answer may be surprising, too. Because the love didn't go anywhere. Real love can't, it's everywhere, always. Excitement, thrills, fantasies are something else, but not real love. All distress or upset in relationships only come because we don't know what real love is or how to access that beautiful state of being that totally fills us up. It's not hard, though. It's ever available. To start we must know what the real thing is and how to Give It, in all our relationships, no one left out. Come listen to the podcast to discover more.
Most of us think that we have to sort out what's valuable and what isn't. If something doesn't meet our needs or standards, we often toss it away, labelling it as waste, or garbage. We do this with all kinds of things, including people and relationships. But Zen practice teaches there is no such thing as garbage. Everything has value and can be received as nourishment. Left over food can be wonderful in soup, a wilted vegetable can provide for the soil. Difficulty in relationships can help us grow in so many ways. When we view difficult people and situations as nourishing, rather than toxic, everything turns around. Not only do people respond to the way in which we see them, but the rough experiences we can turn into jewels. Our view is expanded, our heart opened, and we do not live in dread or anger,, which constricts every part of our life. It is a great art to learn how to digest and absorb all of our experience, so that nothing is tossed away or goes to waste.
Most of us use our relationships to feel good, safe, wanted, valued. We choose the people we want to interact with and eliminate anyone who is challenging or upsetting. Basically the illusion is that this will keep us happy and strong. Actually, the opposite is true. We are missing an amazing opportunity to expand, grow and get to know not only others, but to really know ourselves. We do not see that relationships are truly a mirror in which we see ourselves. When interacting with others, the happiness and well being we feel comes not from who they are necessarily, but from the way we respond to them, how we perceive them, the room we give them to be who they are. Our growth arises from how open hearted we can be. Can we give everyone a chance to reveal themselves, not take it personally, but offer an open, welcoming heart to what they truly need to say or request? Come listen to the podcast and learn more.
No matter how much we practice, once we get up from the cushion, or any other practice we do, we encounter one person after another, one relationship after the next. Some are affirming and joyous, others may cause upset or difficulty. All of these relationships are simply extensions of our practice. Each person we meet, whoever they are, is our teacher in what it means to love. Not only are they our teacher, these encounters, are here to show us the truth about what love really is. Naturally, when we are in pain or upset, we automatically blame on the other, find something wrong with them. But as we view relationships as spiritual practice, we soon realize that no one can hurt us, it is our responses to them, our perceptions and expectations of them that are causing the pain. Come listen to the podcast and find out more.
Zen practice helps us dissolve many illusion that grip us. We learn how to stay present to what's happening, see what's right here, appreciate each moment, and to take our clarity and new perspective into our everyday life. In the same way, as we practice in life, and in our relationships we can discover the many ways in which we are gripped by Counterfeit Love.
Most people feel relationships are tricky, painful and even dangerous. But when the practice of Zen is applied to relationships, we joyously discover, that it is never love that is causing the difficulty, it is only that we've been caught in more illusions, posing as Counterfeit Love. This podcast begins to explore ways to dissolve the upset on the spot, with clarity, awareness and by practicing the simple laws of real love.
We all think relationships are difficult, difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. But the true heart of Zen practice says something different. Zen points to the fact that we are in relationships continually, and that everyone we meet is our teacher, in what it really means to love. And our teacher how to thoroughly appreciate this life we are living now. No matter what is going on.
Sadly, most of us suffer in relationships, reacting to what happens automatically, rather than responding from the truth of who we truly are, and what is really beneficial. Zen practice provides a new, fresh perspective, a new way of greeting each moment. When we bring this freshness into our relationships, we see that suffering is unnecessary. Love is always just a breath away and that we have just been viewing things amiss,
We all long for things to be different, fresh, alive, brand new. But to make the New Year new, we have to be new! The days roll on as they do, but they can become fresh, alive and meaningful, no matter what's going on. It all depends upon the way, we view things, how we respond, who we are. As we become able to look through new eyes, what we see becomes new. When we look through our same old filters, notions and limitations, nothing changes and a sense of helplessness goes on and on. Zen practice comes to tell us that we are not helpless. Fundamentally, all of us are strong, beautiful, clear and filled with joy. Our confusion about who we are, and what is important hides this from us. This practice adds nothing to us, rather, it takes away the cobwebs, illusions and conditioning that have distorted and confused our lives. The more the cobwebs are removed, the more natural it becomes to "Taste and See that Life is Good." Very good. Delicious!
As the New Year approaches we naturally look over the year gone by. In the process, we accept some aspects of it, reject others, long to change certain things that happened or do them over again. There is a sense that the year was not complete, perhaps a feeling of remorse or guilt at what has transpired. Yet, a fundamental symbol in Zen Practice is One Complete Circle. This circle encompasses all of our experience with nothing left out. It has no beginning or ending, as one moment naturally flows into the next. This One Complete Circle teaches us that our year, or day, or relationship is complete, (or fulfilled), as it is. We do not have to return again and again to the same moment in the hope of reliving it. Without that one moment as it was, the next could not take place.. Each moment brings growth and discovery, as does each year, no matter how it turned out. In order to be ready for a truly New Year, we must allow the year that has passed to be complete, and fulfilled. Give thanks for it as it was. Then the year that is approaching will have room for beautiful changes and love.
Much of the time life does not go as we've planned for, and we become distressed. If events don't go according to our liking or according to our expectation we feel something is wrong - either with the events or with ourselves. But life happens as it has to, and when we accept, enjoy and even celebrate each moment, as it is, we will often find unexpected discoveries. Although it may not be apparent at first, any moment can bring surprises, gifts, and new possibilities we had no idea of. A plant I received seemed to be ordinary, and was placed casually on a small table. I loved it right away though, and brought it to join me at the kitchen table for meals. Within a couple of days the plant sprouted, grew a few feet and then it suddenly bloomed. From out of nowhere, huge red blossoms kept bursting through. The joy of the blossoms filled my heart day by day by day. Open your eyes wide, love what you're given and allow the blossoming to go on and on.
During this holiday so many are running in all kinds of directions, no knowing what to do next. As we check off one activity after another, make one plan after the next, our heads are often spinning. Am I getting the right gift? Am I doing the right thing? It does seem as if the world lies on our shoulders, and we dare not make a mistake.
This attitude itself robs our joy from us and sends us off into confusion. Not only that, it is not true that the world rests on our shoulders. Far from it. When we step back and look from a larger perspective, it is easy to see that there is endless guidance and harmony just waiting to be recognized all around. We are not in charge of all that happens, are just playing our part in the symphony performed by a massive orchestra. Stop a moment and look to see who the composer of the music is and who is conducting the orchestra.
So many of us are looking over the year gone by, going over our goals and actions. Sadly, many conclude that they are failures. They haven't performed as they might have wished, haven't been able to control things. This malady of constantly judging ourselves, our lives and others to see if we have failed or succeeded, is not a part of true Zen Practice. Constantly looking to see if we have failed or succeeded robs us of joy,. It curtails our curiosity and often ruins an otherwise beautiful day. However, when we sit on the cushion in zazen, whatever arises is just right. We're not in charge of what comes or what goes. Our role is to be there, without running away, available to see and even welcome the constantly changing flow of life. Many sittings are rough, many are beautiful, we simply experience them all. Over time the way we relate to our experience alters. We stop making it all about ourselves, or judging each moment. We are then able to enter the flow of life, of which we are an integral part. As that happens, despite the nature of the waves that approach us, we enjoy them all. And, there is no judging one wave a failure and another a success.
This amazing season is a time of turning deeply to the light. Many holidays converge at this time all dedicated to living a life if kindness, wisdom and truth. It often seems as if we are left alone in this world , having to battle gigantic forces, having no power to turn darkness around. This, and many other illlusions can grip us and tie us up in a season of pain or despair. However, the time of Light, tells us otherwise. It says we all have the power to turn in another direction, take our focus off the difficulties and gaze upon the lights. We can sit, pray, laugh, love and give our strength and focus to that which will turn things around. Take a moment to notice what you are dedicated to, how you see your role in this world. Then step by step, turn in the direction of who you really are. What we focus on is what we receive. Great strength and power reside within.
You Cannot Be Depressed And Grateful at the Same Time. Gratitude is a gift not only to others, but to yourself as well. The mad mind constantly tries to find what's wrong with life, with others and with the day It filters out the beauty and joy, dwells on pain and disappointment and tries to take over our lives. Gratitude is a powerful medicine for all that ails us. Take charge of your focus. Seek out that which is beautiful, brave, beneficial in all you meet. It only takes a moment. Rather than dwell upon how you've been disappointed, dwell upon what you've learned or gained from this interaction. Give Thanks all day long. Happy holiday.
SO SORRY THAT AN EMPTY RECORDING WAS UPLOADED LAST WEEK. HERE IS THE CORRECT ONE.
Much of our lives is about the desire to feel loved. We do everything to feel deserving, to be approved of, to receive the acclaim we're hungry for. When circumstances go our way, when friends come and family is close there's a sense that all is well. And that we are worthy. When circumstances change, as they inevitably must, upset follows. All of this arises from being caught in Counterfeit Love. Counterfeit love is a deep misunderstanding about the nature of love and how to live it. It tells us that relationships are hard, that they hurt, that there's not enough love available for everybody. This new Season of the Podcast will turn towards the exploration of the truth about love, and how to experience it in all your relationships.
There is so much suffering going on today and we grab at all kinds of medicines to feel better. Some medicines give us temporary comfort, others relieve symptoms for a long while. And yet, we seldom pause to ask ourselves and explore what is the illness, really? What is the very nature of dis-ease itself. No matter how much medicine we take, even when once problem is gone, another pops up shortly, and the discomfort goes on and on. Is there a way to end this situation completely? Can we go to the root of our suffering, pull it out, and find true comfort and delight in all aspects of our lives?
This wonderful Zen Koan explores the way to pass beyond the entangling vines of our difficulties and move into the light.
When Dogen, a great Zen Master of old, returned home after years of study and practice he was asked what he brought with him to share? His famous reply was, "I've come with nothing but empty hands." Empty hands are precious, they cling to nothing, grab at nothing, carry no baggage at all. These empty hands are fully available to reach out, to touch, feel, comfort and guide. With nothing to hold onto, we are available to everything and everyone. Empty hands are also another way of expressing open heart and mind. As we practice the great art of letting go, not carrying the past along, we are given and filled with all we ever need. Zen is the practice of becoming open, free, and available to give fully and to receive.
Although we think we our lives are solid and will go on the same way forever, a beautiful Zen poem reminds us that we are all travelers, passing through the changing seasons of our lives. Often it's hard to know our destination, or what new turns will appear on the road. We also feel stunned and shaken, when those who have been travelling along with us, suddenly take a different turn in the road. However, when we see ourselves as travelers, moving along an ever changing road, we do not cling so tightly to what is here now, and are always ready to move along. We can also then truly appreciate the precious moments we share with those we are close to, and realize they are also fellow travelers, and that at one point or another, our journeys will take us into different places.
We all long for close, happy, fulfilling relationships and look for them everywhere we go. There are many skills we acquire about how to treat another, communicate and hold onto the love we've found. But our relationships have a life of their own, and even if they are wonderful for a while, change is inevitable. Loss and sorry are common.
In Zen practice, however, the entire way of approaching relationships is different. We discover a completely new way of being close, loving and fulfilled, no matter what is going on. Our true needs in relationships are explored, and as we discover our original relationship, all other relationships are naturally uplifted and enhanced.
Most of us think we are alone in a world of strangers. We hide from these strangers in many ways, keeping our guard up around us. This gives the illusion that we are safe and protected in a place where no one can touch us. But just the opposite is true. Not only are we never alone, but communication streams forth between us and others all the time, even though we are not aware of it. When we allow the veils which surround us to come down, we see who the other truly is, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, or anyone else. We also see that our connection with others has been going on forever, cannot be interrupted, no matter how we hide. A sense of love and oneness pervades then. The veils and defenses are no longer needed. Our true safety finally appears.
**As summer ends and the holiday season closes, a call comes to each of us. "Linger With Me, One More day."
Before we return to our business, (busyness), become absorbed in schedules, routines, plans and responsibilities, we are being asked to take one more day and set it aside. We have so many claims upon our attention day after day. So many events and people appear, bearing all kinds of reports. It is difficult to sort out what's real and what isn't. What's important and what is not. But, now, Dedicate the Day.
Make space in it for something new to be seen and heard. Make space in your life. Stop running around blindly. We are being asked to listen to the call of the divine. For the touch of warmth, love, clarity. To connect with the One Within Who Knows the Way, who sees what truly Is. This call comes to each of in different ways, but ultimately it is always arising from deep within ourselves. So, let's all linger today with that which can and will always guide us well.**
Most of us feel trapped by having to go through the same activities again and again. The routines of life can seem stifling, and we long for change, adventure and excitement. However, the heart of zen practice is realizing that nothing is ever the same. It's impossible to truly repeat anything. This step will never come again.
As we go through what seems like the same, ordinary day, there are endless surprises and possibilities waiting. Each day is completely unique and fresh, It is up to us to attend to each activity and person carefully, not to feel it's just a dull repetition, but a wonderful door we can walk through to a a new life.
This is a season of Rebirth, Renewal and Return. When we become too trapped in distraction, distortion and confusion, there is a road back to our original wisdom and sanity. The holidays this year all call us to step out of our usual patterns, take time for recollection, look carefully at ourselves and others and extend and ask for forgiveness. It is time for our hearts to be cleansed and for us to see deeply the nature of the suffering that we are in the grip of. It's easy to blame the suffering on other people and circumstances. But Rebirth, Renewal and Return all require that we let go of all blame (including ourselves), and be willing, instead, to look deeply at the truth of our lives, what really is causing the difficulties. Come listen to the podcast.
We hate to make mistakes and will do anything not to. Constantly trying to correct ourselves and the world we live in, there is no end to it. Once one mistake has been corrected another one seems to pop up. Even after expending a great deal of effort, and despite success along the way, in the end many feel dissatisfied, as though something went wrong and they made a mistake. What we do not realize is that the mistake we make that is continuous, is not what we do, but the way we perceive and receive life. We grasp onto that which is fleeting and must go. We believe that whatever arises is up to us to correct. We do not see what is illusion and what is real. Zen practice returns us to simple reality and to a life that is satisfying and compassionate no matter what appears.
Most of our life is about avoiding all kinds of storms we hear are coming. Bad news is everywhere, and in a moment conditions change and we fear we will be assaulted by uncontrollable storms without, and within. Our first reaction is to go into lockdown, put our life on hold. We clench up, become compulsively focused on the external world and figure one strategy after another to keep safe. This never works. Ever. Our true safety, resilence, peace and clarity arise when we are able to go within and become open and available to the day, to life, to one another and to the incredible wisdom and guidance waiting for us with each breath we take. As we practice we come out of inner lockdown and storms all over start to subside.
,As T.S. Eliot reminds us, "Human Beings Cannot Bear Very much Reality." Most of us do all we can to avoid reality as it seems harsh and cruel. Instead, we live in dreams, hopes and assorted delusions thinking these will change things and keep us safe and well. We live in the hope of finding peace and compassion in the assorted images and fantasies we are accosted by. The practice of Zen teaches otherwise. Zen is based upon the foundation of our intrinsic ability to see clearly, know the truth and live from the point of view of the Compassionate One, Within. As we exchange delusions for reality, to our great surprise, true compassion arises within, and whatever happens, becomes the basis for us to learn how to exercise our clarity and compassion, bringing to well being to the entire world.
Most of us think that Zen practice, like life itself is complicated and difficult. Nothing can be further from the truth. Like the essence of life and happiness, it is incredibly simple, direct and available. It is our longing for mystery and c omplexity that makes life and practice seem confusing and hard. It is our attachment to stoking the fires of endless drama. Caught in all this we do not see the miracle right in front of our eyes. This episode returns us to the simple truths of a live well lived and a heart healed. Come listen and enjoy.
Fundamentally we are all sane, clear, happy, loving. We see clearly what's in front of our eyes. However, as life goes forward the storms of our mad minds produce all kind of confusion. We're accosted by delusion, dreams and fantasies that throw us off track. Suffering quickly takes the place of our original joy. But when we become able to see through the commotion that the mad mind presents, we see the mad mind for what it truly is and it loses its power over us. The confusion, delusion and endless hopes can no longer grab us, whirl us about and cause suffering. Instead we stand firmly upon the shore of our original, beautiful, sanity.
Come listen to the podcast to discover more.
We all want our days to be special and do all kinds of things to have that happen. We plan adventures, meet with friends, plan wonderful dinners. We want something to look forward to, so that we're not caught in the same, old routine. In Zen practice, however, there is no such thing as the same, old routine. In fact, our practice focuses upon our simple, same, daily routine. As we practice, however, we see that all of our ordinary, activities are special and can bring great meaning and delight.
Believe it or not, there are simple steps to sanity, which will stop the chaos within. So often we find ourselves twirling around like a top, searching for stability in the middle of the spin. Many feel that the faster they spin, the easier it will be to find, or create that which will produce calmness and satisfaction. But for now, we have to spin. And, it always seems as though the chaos is outside ourselves caused by constantly changing conditions. However, there is a completely different way to approach each moment of our everyday lives. This different way that grounds us, centers us, and helps us enormously appreciate what it is that is here in front of our eyes now.
THIS IS PART TWO, OF THE GREAT CONVERSATION... BROADCAST AT THE SAME TIME AS PART 1.
"Language issues forth and yet not a word is said."
We often feel separate from one another, longing to be seen and heard. There seems to be so many barriers to connection and we rarely feel understood.
And yet, all the while, in truth, we are forever connected. In fact, we are speaking and listening to each other and to the whole world all the time. Yet, mostly we are not aware of it. We don't know what we're truly saying or hearing, or if anyone is listening at all.
The first step in Zen practice is to sit still and listen to ourselves, becoming available to all the communication that longs to bubble up from within.
Then we will become able to listen to the sounds of the world, to hear what is really being said and to respond naturally. As this happens it becomes easy to see that we are all one.
The sense of loneliness and separation will then fade, as love and oneness rule the day.
""Language issues forth and yet not a word is said."
We often feel separate from one another, longing to be seen and heard. There seems to be so many barriers to connection and we rarely feel understood.
And yet, all the while, in truth, we are forever connected. In fact, we are speaking and listening to each other and to the whole world all the time. Yet, mostly we are not aware of it.
We don't know what we're truly saying or hearing, or if anyone is listening at all.
The first step in Zen practice is to sit still and listen to ourselves, becoming available to all the communication that longs to bubble up from within.
Then we will become able to listen to the sounds of the world, to hear what is really being said and to respond naturally. As this happens it becomes easy to see that we are all one.
The sense of loneliness and separation will then fade, as love and oneness rule the day.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO PART 2
Usually we think we have many chances to do something, say something or have a new experience. If we miss our opportunity today, tomorrow will always come. This poignant, powerful Zen saying is a reminder that tomorrow may not come. It is also a reminder that each moment, each person, each opportunity that arises before us is "unrepeatable". If we miss what is right in front of our eyes, if we think it is not so important, or not to our liking, we are are really missing our lives. The teaching and podcast presents us with a different way of receiving "this".
Most of us live our lives walking along preset paths. We follow our plans and expectations and do all we can to make things work out. When things go our way, we call the day good. However, Zen practice shows us how to respond when our path is blocked, when sudden events take place, or someone in great need is placed before us. Practice shows us how to let go of our plans and expectations, to really encounter what is in front of us , become available , and respond whole heartedly to the cries of the world.
As the great Zen teaching goes, "When there are no unnecessary thoughts in your mind, everyday is a Good day." This is teaching us that basically thoughts cannot be depended upon, they are unnecessary to our well being. Not only that, most of the time they act as a block to seeing what is right here in front of us, and truly enjoying it. Our usual thinking is critical, searching for mistakes in ourselves and others. It is preoccupied with right and wrong, always judging, separating us from the moment. But the days come as they do, and no matter what the circumstances, everyday is a good day, when we do not allow random thoughts and encounters to rule the show. Take a dip into the world of Zen and see how you can push the pause button and find a place of delight and ease.
How often we wonder where we are, or where someone else may be? There's a sense of being lost in the world, and also a sense that the people we care for are missing. Even when they're right beside us, they can be missing. But the great koan of Zen is, I'm Here! Not only am I right here before you, so is the entire world. It is only us, we separate ourselves from what is right before us. We look away from what is happening, wanting or expecting something else. But when we are willing to receive and be one with whatever comes our way, all our koans are answered. And all our suffering melts away.
Around and around we go in life, enjoying the whirling merry go round. Up and down we go, waiting for the golden ring. Then , at last, dizzy and unsettled, the time comes when it's no longer fun. The golden ring doesn't satisfy, or stop the chase we're on. The spinning wearies us, and we long to step onto the firm earth. That moment of recognition is vital. And then, how do we take that step off the merry go round. Where does it lead us and what happens then?
Often it's hard to take the next step. We don't know where to go, what will happen, or if we're going n the right direction. We can lose years of our lives wondering, doubting ourselves, or fearing the outcome. Although we long to start a new era, relationship, or experience, so many of us are stopped, and put our lives on hold. We don't know if we're ready or clear enough about what to do. Zen practice has a wonderful response to this dilemma. It is actually the very practice of taking the next step, the next breath, of digesting our lives so that our next moves come naturally. In fact, the Next Step appears every moment, right here in front of us. When we practice, we cannot help but make it time and again.
We all dash about endlessly, coming and going without end. Where are we going and what are we looking for? Relief, refreshment, fun, success. We start a relationship and then quickly need a break. Maybe there's something better out there? But all the coming and going leaves us exhausted, and ultimately disappointed. There's a better way to receive what we need. Go nowhere at all, stay still and patient in the middle of the storm of desires. Once the restless heart pauses, then our true needs arise and are met effortlessly.... We even see they always have been. Try and see.
It's natural to think that we must guard what we have, hold onto it tight and be careful not to lose it. No matter how much we hold on though, everything changes and we experience loss. It's as though nothing remains, and we are left bereft and lonely. This is the perception of the small child within, who screams and cries, throws tantrums and demands the world always remain and provide just what they want when they want it.
As we grow, our awareness develops and the deeper truth is revealed. As stillness, clarity and devotion grows, it is easy to se that t everything is always here. Nothing can be lost, ever. Once we make a connection, love one another, the experience is with us forever. It grows as we grow and teaches us the truth about our real life.
The question "What's Next?" is heard over and over. We finish one project and search for the next. Big changes take place in our life and we immediately dwell upon how we will go on, or what to do or say next. .A relationship ends and we're hungry for another. It may even seem as if there is nothing ahead for us. This can create deep despair, along with feelings of helplessness and failure.
As we live this way, we overlook and aren't aware of life's continuous offerings life presents. Each day we are being offered incredible moments, insight, and new opportunities. However, when we are lost in the search for what's next, we aren't available to see or receive what's being give to us right now. Zen practice turns this around, allowing us to see what's here, and what's next, every single moment.
We live our lives with the feeling that something important is missing. We may have had it for a little while, but right now, it's gone. So much of our time is then spent searching for what it is we're longing for. And even if we find it again, briefly, the sense of fullness doesn't last long. As we engage in Zen practice, though, a moment comes when we realize that Nothing can possibly be missing. Everything in the world is here. It's in front of our eyes, right here. It's only us, we do not see it, we're clouded by thought and strange hopes. When the veil lifts and we see the truth though, what joy at whatever appears.
We feel we are trapped in routines, doing the same thing again and again. So many things are repeated in our lives, including in our relationships. A sense of drudgery and boredom can take over our lives. Where is the joy, where is the fun? Am I doomed to repeat the same thing again and again? we ask. But Zen practice turns this all around. As we realize that each moment, each step is unique and different, it is clear to see that this step, this moment, this encounter, will not ever come again. It is completely unique and precious. Once the moment passes, it's gone. When we see this, we then pay full attention to what is happening, enter the moment or relationship completely, cherish it for what is is. Boredom an drudgery vanish and as a life of freshness takes place.
Where do we turn when in the midst of confusion, upset, noise or danger? When the Mad Mind starts to sing, it can seem as if the whole world turns around, leaving us upset, dislodged and unable to step forward. Many feel lost and lonely. At those times it appears as if we have nothing to hold onto. There's no clear direction or place to go. But Zen practice tell us otherwise. Zen shows us the place, always waiting for us .Filled with wisdom, guidance, strength and humor, it is our original home. And it always there, waiting for us, doors wide open, no questions asked. No one is kept out, everyone welcomed. Zen is the practice of constantly returning to this original home, day in and day out.
We look for sanity and balance all over the place, thinking there's something wrong with who we are right now. We think our everyday life, needs, and desires must be transcended, rejected, in order to become "enlightened". Beneath this is the fundamental idea that there is something wrong with us, just as we are. That life itself as we know it, is deficient, destructive, doesn't provide all we need. That idea itself causes so much of the pain we feel, the refusal to rejoice in the great gift we have been given.
But the great teacher Rinzai, returned to the truth. He returned to each moment of his life as it was, embodied it, honored it and took appropriate action. He recognized his hunger, didn't run from it. He didn't cmopensate in a thousand ways. When he was hungry he ate, and that was enlightened action. Rinzai entered the great harmony directly, which is always right here wherever you go.
We have all kinds of ideas about what love is and wat it is not. Usually there's a very strong standard we live with, about whether or not we are loving. But as Rumi said, "A feeling here one minute and gone the next, cannot be called love." As we look into the simple, unadorned practice of Zen and actually practice it not only on the cushion, but in our lives, the true essence of love pervades all our relationships and all around us love blooms. Let's find out more about the practice of love, how simple and enjoyable it can be.
All of us are searching for a place of rest, warmth and unconditional love and acceptance. We are searching for that which cannot be lost or shaken no matter what happens. In Zen Practice this experience is described as a child returning to its mother. What a surprise to realize that this mother we are searching for, is always waiting for us, right here. And it waits within ourselves. A great teacher in India who embodied this condition, The Jallalemudi Mother described herself as The Mother Who Cannot Be Wounded. The all encompassing state of love and acceptance that is not vulnerable to the endless changes of circumstance, but absorbs all of life and remains, always, true to her real nature.
All of the pivotal practices in Zen are incredibly simple, and only take a moment. In one moment everything turns around. Fear turns to compassion, anger to sorrow, hate to love. And, these pivotal moments are simple, too simple perhaps for us to take to heart. We yearn for that which is complicated, challenging, impossible to do. But Zen is the Art of The Possible, planted right here on earth. It is the way to naturally transform your pain, loneliness and lack of purpose. In one simple action, done fully, no questions about it, through and through, the light of wisdom bursts through.
Alongside the endless ocean Coney Island is filled with thrills, chills, rides, and houses of horrors. In one particular section there used to be a mirror which, when we looked into it, distorted our bodies first one way and then the next. Looking for ourselves in the mirror, we didn't know who we were anymore. One minute we were long and thin, the next moment wide and short. One minute we were beautiful, the next moment, grotesque. Like this distorting mirror, our minds and often our relationships reflect reality in confusing ways. They don't give a clear image of the truth, or who we really are. And, when we look into the mirror, we don't realize that delusions are gazing back at us. But there is a way to leave this house of horrors and return to the truth of who we are. Take a few steps to the ocean nearby, which is the same under all conditions, and vast, and constant and always there to nourish us.
This podcast explores liberation from constriction. Leaving the straits and entering the open spaces of our hearts and lives,
Life presents endless questions and contradictions that seem to have no answer. We go round and round trying to figure things out, creating strategies, going over the benefits and costs. And still a true solution can't be found. In a sense life is presenting us koans again and again. In Zen practice is an unanswerable question we are given to grapple with. When we run out of our ordinary means of approaching it, after we fail again and again, an entirely new way arises to practice with the koan so that the heart of the matter is revealed. And we are changed forever. Not only in the way we work with the koan, but the way in which we live our lives.
Come listen to the podcast.
So much of the struggle, upset, anger and difficulty we experience comes when life presents something we did not expect. Of course this happens many times a day. How could this be happening? we ask, as a sense of failure or great disappointment arises. We may blame others, or life itself. Sometimes these feelings become so intense, we lose trust and meaning and feel that life itself is a sham. Unfortunately, we do not stop to turn around and look instead at the expectations we have been carrying around. Where did they come from? Who said life has to go this way, or that our expectations are even valuable? When our personal expectations don't run the show and derail us, life is clear and simple. And each day is perfect as it is, and thoroughly enjoyable.
We all have pre set visions of how our lives are supposed to turn out, where we're headed and what we're supposed to achieve. Much of our upset in life is due to the fact that the reality of how things go, do not match our images. Again and again we judge ourselves, discard activities and people that were important, sink into a sense of futility. Rather than focus upon what is actually here, rather than our images, we keep trying to get somewhere we imagine we have to go. Zen practice asks us to stop all that. As we sit still and dwell in the moment, we realize that what is precious and important is not some imagined outcome or destination, but where we are and who we are right now.
Many of us feel stuck in our lives these days, unable to move on and take the next steps. Then we become restless, frustrated or depressed. But in truth, it is impossible to be stuck. An experience is being given to us that is for our benefit, whether we realize it or not. Where we are at the moment is exactly where we belong. Believe it or not, it's the perfect place for us. Nothing in this world is out of place, or happens at the wrong time. When high tide comes, no matter how much we love low tide, the waves must expand. It is foolishness to think we know how we got where we are at the moment, or when the next moment will come. A larger energy arranges everything. It digests our food, heals our wounds, and laughs at us for complaining.
Fully welcome, taste and embody the place you are in right now. Discover what it is saying to you and what it wants from you, as well.
Come listen to the podcast.
When we go to visit and knock on someone's door, we often call out, "Is Anyone Home?"
How badly we want someone to be there, greet us, offer a smile, hug, a real connection. Not many want to walk into an empty house. Yet, how many are truly home, present and available? It may seem that we are, but so often our greetings and words are automatic, and our true mind and heart are elsewhere.
The same is true when troubles begin in a relationship. We become furious with someone, or some condition, yell at them to change their ways, do something better or listen to us. But, as the story in this podcast of the empty boat tells us, most of the time, there's no one there. They're on automatic. They can't hear.
Zen practice shows us new ways of handling this, both in our lives and as we may come into collisions with others. It's a simple matter not to get angry, but to take right away and be fully present.
Come listen to the podcast.
Many of us are swimming in a sea of confusion, not knowing what to believe, what is right or wrong. Or, how to move on. The ground beneath us is shaking and we fear that wherever we put our foot down will turn into quicksand. In Zen practice we learn how to walk along even quicksand becomes steady and firm. When we see through delusion and imaginary happiness, nothing can shake our lives again. Then we appreciate right where we are and whatever seems to be happening. Wes take each step firmly. In fact, nothing can deceive us, when we stop chasing that which is unreal. The clarity and balance and joy that appears then, is more than we could ever imagine.
We all want things to work out "perfectly", exactly as we hope and imagine. Much of our energy and attention goes to trying to control events, changing them, and exerting force to have outcomes meet our demands. We can become some obsessed with the "right" outcome, that we entirely miss the day. We can go on like this forever, and miss our relationships and lives as well. What we do not see is that every outcome is the "perfect outcome". An outcome lasts a moment, and then the next moment appears. If we do not cling to the former moment. If we allow each moment to arise as it will, another will come that is totally different. Not only is it totally different, but we can begin to see that all moments were needed. All were perfect in their time and way.
We are all so upset at the prospect of making a mistake. We'll do anything to hide it up and pretend it never happened. Or punish ourselves or others for it endlessly. But mistakes are inevitable, the are natural and come to teach us how to live, what's important and what is not. Dogen Zenji goes even further, he says that "life is one continuous mistake". Rather than seeing what is right before us, most are caught in the grip of illusion, of memories, beliefs and demands that we cannot control. When we allow that to rule our lives, our natural wisdom is gone. We lose our way easily.
Zen practice is the simple road back home, to where we started from. It's a way to regain clarity and direction, and also to truly enjoy and relish our precious life.
We all want to know how to live a life that is right and true. All through the centuries the question comes, "Where the Way is and how do I enter it. This question has been echoed in many forms, including what do I do now? How in the world can I proceed? Practices of all kinds have been established to answer that question and point to the way to live. Many of these practices reject life as we know it. Or they seek to transcend life or alter it radically to match a preconceived idea. But a different answer arises as well. In scripture it is stated to "Enter Through The Days." Enter each day as it comes to you, do not negate it, transcend it, or run away from it. Each day, each person and each experience as it arises, is the way to find true meaning and fulfillment.
It's so easy to get lost in the whirl of confusing messages, thoughts, and beliefs. There's no end to the different ways we get stuck or lost not knowing what is or isn't so. However, Zen practice comes to put an end to this. As we stay with the simple facts of our lives, pay attention to them, and live them, we leave the ever twirling pitfalls of the thinking mind. When Buddha was enlightened, he could walk through mud without being disturbed. He realized Mud was Just Mud. He wasn't embedded in ideas, beliefs of fears about it, just experiencing the simple reality under his feet..
A great deal of our sorrow and disappointment are due to the false promises of Samsara, how we live for them, grip them, and are so shocked when they don't fulfill our needs. However, a deeper Zen teaching tells us that Samsara IS Nirvana, the joy and fulfillment we constantly seek. This podcast explores how to make every moment beautiful as it is.
There was a man who searched constantly for the perfect dewdrop, feeling that when he found it, his life would be complete. However, no matter how many dewdrops he stared at, there was always something missing. None matched the image he held in his mind. He rejected so many dewdrops. Like him, we search and search for that which will make our lives complete, rejecting or judging most of what we see. Yet, as we engage in Zen practice, little by little we come to realize, that each dewdrop, each person, each moment is truly perfect as it is. How thrilling.
Uchiyama Roshi has said we are like travelers on a train, who get caught by the scenery again and again. Rather than be able to take the trip in peace and gratitude, we become embroiled by all kinds of scenes that pass by. Often we, even get pulled off the train and forget where we were head. Lost among the passing scenery, it can be hard to move along. This is also a wonderful description of practice. Yet, as we learn a new way to take the journey, to stay rooted on the train and allow all kinds of scenery to come and go a whole new vista arises.
Although so many of us feel separated, and disconnected during this holiday season, the practice of Zazen tells us that this is not so. Even when we cannot see those we care for, even when we cannot go to a familiar place, the sense of oneness, connection and deep wholeness is available every moment of the day. As we practice, we discover that when we do not reject any moment or experience that arises, when we become one with it, that sense of wholeness and unity takes us to the reality that we are all, always together. Our lives and worlds are always whole.
The best way to give thanks is to experience and share the Goodness, Value and Beauty of every day that is given to us. But how to do this in the midst of pain, fear and anguish? What makes a day like that Good? Ummon, great Zen Master, tells us that "When there are no unnecessary thoughts in your mind, Everyday Is A Good Day". The thoughts we have about what happens, the anger or catastrophic expectations acts as a filter to what is truly here, moment by moment. As we do not chase after or empower those thoughts, we see beyond them to the Goodness available with every breath we take.
The Wheel of Time is relentless, turning constantly. It seems that it cannot be stopped as it turns relentlessly. No matter how much we want to do something over, or control what comes next, the wheel of time, laughs at us, just turning without stop. It pushes us from day to day, era to era, taking over our lives. But there is a way to take back our time, to enter our lives and live differently. Once we discover the Great Pause, the wheel of time becomes powerless to shove us around anymore.
There are so many ideas, memories, beliefs and people who want to live our life. They can take over at any moment, over ride what is true for us, and push us into all kinds of actions and beliefs. They shove us around mercilessly, until it is easy to forget who we really are. Or, we can cling to something in the past, keep trying to fix it or relive it, and that can live our life now. But each moment is unique, fresh and altogether free and beautiful. As we practice zazen, we become more and more able to greet ourselves and the moment just as it is now, and live it fully and beneficially, no strings attached.
When we are flooded with all kinds of events, news, hopes and fears, it is easy to get lost. Desperate to understand what is happening, and make things right, we jump into the confusion and flail around. Adding confusion t confusion only makes matters worse. However, there is another way. Stop, sit still in the middle of all appearances, and become a Beholder of whatever arises, within and without. Then true clarity, equanimity, compassion and wisdom appears. Zazen is the practice of becoming a Beholder... finding a large perspective, and becoming able to see the great beauty and wonder of everything.
"The Whole World Is Medicine, What Is The Illness?" is a Zen Koan for today's world. There is so much suffering, fear, and conflict that can be solved easily. We do not see that the pain we feel is due to the way we are responding to the never ending cycle of change. We do not see we are clinging to suffering, making it stronger, and that this can be easily changed. This Podcast is the basis of my new course, Sacred Psychology Counseling.
Come listen to the podcast and find out more.
Everyone wants to be themselves and not have to obey another. There's a sense we must fight, rebel and say No to life as it is. But all the time we are not aware that we are still being obedient. We are automatically obeying our feelings, impulses, thoughts and repetetive patterns. Then we feel stuck and frozen, not knowing why. As we truly explore what it means to be Obedient, we find a strong power within. We find that we can open our hearts and mind to what life as it unfolds, and instead of fighting it, make its acquaintance. Despite our likes and dislikes, and automatic reactions, we then become willing to deeply greet life as it is.
These days we sail in choppy waters. Life changes on a dime and it seems as though there is no place to anchor our lives, or the boat we sail in. Many lose hope and feel out of control, not knowing where they are headed or what to count on. However, there is a way to go through the sea of life, no matter how turbulent and be planted in a boat that is safe and secure. In this voyage, we do not fight the wild ocean, but learn how to stay planted and centered and be befriend whatever comes along.
Whatever comes to us we turn into a problem and have to find the "answer" to it. One question about our situation comes after another. These questions take us away from our lives, tangle us up in conjecture, thinking, doubting predicting, trying to control all outcomes. And, all the while, the true wisdom we seek is right in front of our eyes. We don't pay attention to it, though, caught as we are in figuring life out. However, as we leave the quagmire of our thoughts and settle in life as it comes to us, all our answers are right here to be lived. True wisdom waits at every turn.
Years ago I had a zendo in my home for those who fell off the cushion and wanted to climb back on again. Let's try it again! Little did I realize then that it's impossible to fall off the cushion. Wherever we go we are practicing, if we look at life that way. Nor did I realize that there is no such thing as failure or success in practice, except what we impose upon it. Nor in life itself. Come listen to this podcast.
All fear, stress and pressure arise from our concern about what is happening next. We must control it, make sure we will be happy and safe. In this process, the past interjects as well, causing us to fear that it will repeat itself again. Or we start to long for past times to be here, once again. But as we learn the precious teaching of going back to the beginning, and staying there, the fierce thread of time no longer takes over. Each moment is complete unto itself. No longer fearing or searching for the next moment we are not pulled out to sea, over our heads, but planted in our true lives.
It is so easy to get lost in dreams, fantasies and just plain confusion when we allow our attention to scatter and do not stay present to what is right here in front of our eyes. As our attention drifts from one thing to another, we cannot feel full and complete. We also cannot see the truth of what is here right now, right before our eyes. Zen practice guides us to become present to the bare truth of what is, to be available to it completely and call it by its true name. To see, honor and acknowledge the plain truth in front of our eyes.
We all search for deep meaning in our lives, and the answer to endless questions about our true direction and how to live. When a student found a great Zen teacher and put these questions to him, the reply was quick and to the point. Pick up your coat from the floor and put it where it belongs. He was guiding the student to be aware of what was right in front of him that needed attention and care and to take care of it. That's all. Moment by moment. Not only pick up coats, but give the same attention to a person who has fallen down. Pick them up and put them where they belong. This brings joy.
Usually we live our lives in division, unable to decide what to do, what is right and where to go next. Most of our time we regret past choices or are unable to make new ones. But there is another way to procede. The undivided mind and heart, take us where we belong without fail and without stress. It shows us life from a new vantage point, allows us to feel at home with ourselves and taste and see that life is good.!
From the Zen point of view, all the suffering and struggling in life comes because we constantly strive to be different or better than we are. While who we are is already perfect, complete and valuable, we cannot taste the joy of that. Zen practice therefore is the road not to getting, learning or fulfilling a dream or some ideal. It is the road to let go of all unnecessary baggage and meeting ourselves just as we are. Living a life of wholeness and truth.
It's so easy to go through life with our eyes closed, dreaming, hoping, planning for better days. Of course as we do so, we not only miss what's here right now, but have no idea how to greet the next day when it comes. Not only are our eyes shut, our arms are often closed as well. We use our arms to push things away, or make ourselves safe, holding on for dear life. Our arms are used to fight the world, not to welcome and embrace it. But, a combination of open eyes and open arms whatever comes, immediately transports us to a life that constantly surprises us and offers gifts of every kind.
We cling to one moment and turn away from the next, wanting to hold onto what we consider desirable. Our wish is to keep things the same, feel stable ,as if we know what is coming and how to handle it. But life itself is nothing but change, including our very body. When we fight against this powerful truth, not only does it cause suffering, but we fail to realize that nothing lasts long, including hard moments. And we lose the precious joy of discovering new moments, again and again.
In our lives one experience after another arises, some bitter, some sweet. And many experiences, naturally, contain both. Rather than pick and choose what we wish to have, the great Zen secret is to taste your life completely, eat it up, digest the nourishment from everything and discard the waste. Come find out how.
It's so easy to get caught up in the many drama's of life. All kinds of situations, relationships and events come and suck us in. Before we know it we are entangled in our own automatic reactions, hopes, and fears. We thrash about in the situation, barely knowing what we're doing. It is so easy then to get lost and disappear. Zen practice comes to ask us to stop, be silent, be present! Don't get lost in the situation. Don't walk away from yourself. Be present to both the situation and your self. Stay grounded, let it pass through you. Wake up and learn how to digest the drama and your life.
We all suffer greatly from the idea that something is wrong with us, and everyone else! Most of our lives becomes about improving, changing twisting ourselves into an image of what we believe we should be. This twisting and condemning is what causes the pain we live with. When we see the perfection and beauty of life as it is, including ourselves, we can live with thanks and fullness and offer it to others as well.
We all search for the right road to our destnation, or goal. It seems as if there is a road out there which will take us where we want to go. But the further we look, or tread on roads that have long been traveled, the further astray we go. Not only must we find our own path, but the deeper truth is that the road is not somewhere else. It is not outside us in the world. Zen practice asks us to sop wandering, stay quiet where we are and find that we are exactly where we belong. Both the road and destination are under our feet right now.
We are all living hidden away in a cave of discontent. This cave is filled with thoughts, desires, demands, fantasy and disappointment. Gripped by this we often see no way out. However, this cave has also been called the cave of unawareness. Once we shine the light of awareness within, the bars on this prison start to open, and endless life begins to shine through.
Most of our lives is lived waiting for tomorrow. We plan, prepare, dream and hope that our dreams will come true. Or, the opposite happens, we live in fear of what may be on the way , become frozen, and lose this precious moment now. Zen practice turns this all around, plants us deeply in this moment, where all is fine, and we can handle and enjoy whatever is.
Most of us do not see the connection between Zen practice and love. But Zen is the practice of being in love with all of life, becoming one with it, no separation. Though we look for meaning everywhere, once we feel a sense of deep connection, no judgment, just oneness, that is the experience of love, which fills us completely and makes each moment whole. Zen practice shows us how to experience this every moment of our lives.
We have so many ideas about how things should be and what is good, right, and perfect. Much of our life is about striving to make our lives better, beautiful, perfect in our eyes. And in the eyes of others. When change happens uncontrollably, our sense of order, perfection and beauty disappears. Great anxiety and upset can follow. But there is another way to look at what perfection and our lives truly are. Zen practice invites us to look at it through new eyes.
All of us want answers. We look for explanations, understanding. We develops beliefs to cling to and ways to behave. When we follow the guidance of others there's a sense of security and relief in belonging to a group. We feel we know who we are then and the direction in which we're headed. But in Zen Practice, we let go of all that. Instead, we stay fully present in the moment and become able to radically trust our inner wisdom, and clarity to guide us on how to respond right now. Each moment is different. Each person's need changes. When we don't cling to a thing we become open to see what is truly happening, and what real compassion is right now..
We are all searching for the perfect place to visit, live in, spend time. It seems as if things will go better somewhere else. Or go better in a different relationship. Even when we are in one place, so much time is spent dreaming of another. Waiting for our journey there. But this episode differs. It shows us how where we are right now is perfect, and the beauty that can be found.
We enter Zen practice the way we enter our lives, trying to do it well, figure it out, please our friends and teachers. We judge and push ourselves endlessly, determined to Master the Way. But this is the opposite of true training. The Way Masters us, whether we like it or not. The Way is Our Master and as we train, we simply let go of our mad need change the world, dominate others, and refuse to enjoy the great banquet set out before us..
We all want things to work out exactly as we want them to. When they don’t we try again, or develop new strategies. If that doesn’t work, we start blaming others, or ourselves. The great Zen teacher Joko Beck said that practice only begins when you’ve been disappointed enough. When that happens, you’re willing to give up all your strategies, stop imposing your will on life and to open to a harmonious life, lived from the bottom of your heart..
We all want life to be perfect, work as as we wish. We will do anything possible so that we can experience a perfect afternoon, relationship or venture. And all the time we do not see that life is perfect as it is. Instead we hold fixed notions about how everything must work out. When it doesn't grief arises, shame, sorrow, anger. These fixed notions not only ruin our lives, but prevent us from seeing the amazing gifts we receive moment by moment.
Life presents many different kinds of moments and situations to us, but there is basically On Way to respond. In zen practice we bow a great deal. Sometimes we bow to the floor, making an offering of ourselves to life. Other times, we bow to our cushions, another person, a flower or to a moment of kindness we have received. Bowing says many things. It says thank you deeply, it says I acknowledge you, I honor the moment we are sharing now. When we truly bow to another, although they may not see it, they will feel it right away. Our interaction will be altered and harmony will be restored.
The Great Way is all around us, and as we walk on it, we cannot stumble or get lost. Zen practices takes us right there, clears the weeds from the other paths we follow, opens our eyes, our minds and hearts. Especially in times of uncertainty The Great Way is a deep refuge from pain. It opens the door to life as it is, removes pointless daydreams and fantasies and helps us see what is truly needed right here, today.
What happens when the world as we’ve known it suddenly vanished and much of what we’ve held onto for security and identity slips away? This is a great Zen moment. An opportunity to look deeply at where true security waits and what the world really is. Then as a new moment arises we can be at home wherever we are.
Usually we feel it's up to us to make everything right. We have something to say about everything, decide what is and isn't right. But as we interfere, we often take actions that get in the way and mess things up. In this beautiful, simple step, we learn how to take our hands off, step back, not interfere. We stay present, do not withdraw, but allow the natural intelligence of life and events to hold sway.
In the midst of our endless rush to do something, change life, stay safe and protected, there is one within who is "not busy", not rushing around. And yet this one, takes care of everything. It hears all our cries, meets all our needs, allows us to see clearly and respond constructively. Zazen practice takes us directly to the one who is not busy, as we stop our mad dashing around and rest in its wisdom. Find out more on the podcast.
Zen koans are a wonderful way to address problems. We cannot understand them logically or figure them out. Just like the times we are now faced with, we must find a new way to respond to them. To discover an answer that frees us all. The koan above is a homegrown koan, for today. When a mountain of fear, difficulty or unknown pain accosts us, when we handle it in the usual way, more frustration and difficulties arise. There is another way however, to allow ourselves to be with the problem. This way provides strength, courage and even happiness during a difficult time.
It is said that the real cause of all suffering and hardship is that we are not able to be in a room alone with ourselves for an extended time. How easy it is to see that now that the usual routines of our lives have been disrupted. Much that we have depended upon is being taken from us now. Not only are we forced to live more simply, but also see who we truly are. A lot of panic arises, not only from fear of illness, but from facing ourselves and those we are close to. When we do not have our usual routines and distractions to turn to, so many feel alone and at a loss. But this time is also a great opportunity to become our own best friend. To spend time alone with ourselves, and find that which will never leave us. That which we can always depend upon.
The big joke of practice, is that the simpler it is, the harder for us to grasp and live it. We yearn for difficulty, challenge, obstacles to prove how smart and strong we are..Zen practice, which is the plainest and simplest practice of all, makes this dilemma apparent. It returns us to the simple moments and facts of our lives. Rather than follow the mad mind within, we turn ourselves to what is here now, and to the one within who always knows the way. You have all your answers and all the direction you need right now. Just stop looking for it elsewhere.Say no, to the lies that hound you and return to the precious life you are living right now.
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How do we find the balance, harmony, health and love we are all seeking. Usually, we struggle, scramble and feel it is up to us to make everything right. Yet to find a state of true love and oneness, that kind of doing is not necessary. All that is necessary is to deeply center ourselves and say No, to the waves of panic, anger and obstacles we usually get swept into. It is a state of trust and inner strength, where everything works well, we become strong and healing happens most readily.
Our entire lives are organized around avoiding suffering. We grab moments of happiness and demand more. When things don't go our way we declare ourselves failures, and are in pain. As if we were in charge of how things go. Yet, it is entirely possible to live a life of happiness and enjoyment, even in the midst of pain. It is not what happens to us that hurts so much, but the way we respond to it. Come learn new ways of being with difficulty that will open up your life and heart.
From the time we are born we want stimulation, enjoyment, distractions of all kinds. Our whole life becomes about playing with toys, winning at the game of life. As we get older our toys change and we throw away the broken ones. Our games also grow more complicated and dangerous. Soon, we live in anguish, struggling not to be a loser, trapped in the game we ourselves have chosen to play. But Life is not a game. When we stop seeing and using others as toys, and hunger only for distraction, not only will our problems unravel, but the true joy of being will be here for all.
Here we are at Valentine's Day, many wondering who their Valentine is, if they are loved, wanted or special in anyway? Or will they ever be? And all the time love is all around us, just waiting to be welcomed into our lives, to have the opportunity to come alive. What is it that keeps this love away? How do we get caught going around and around on a merry go round of relationships that never takes us where we want to go?
We come to life and relationships hoping all will be well, beautiful, just as we want it. When, despite all our efforts, things do not go as we wish, it's so easy to lapse into disappointment, anger, blaming of ourselves and others or the craving for temporary comfort. Instead of doing this, it is fascinating to realize that we've simply been handed a bitter pill. A pill is medicine to cure illness. What is the illness this bitter experience has come to heal? How can it benefit all?
We all want to be powerful, strong, in charge. Life often seems to overpower us, and in response we fight it off, try to change, control, or dominate it. We want things to go as planned, are frightened of unexpected events, or change. This kind of power is Self Power, exerted by the will. Although we can get our way at times, the price we pay for a life like this is great. The battle does not end. It takes a large toll.
However, there is a larger power that guides, provides and laughs with us. Let us taste this power of no power, and see how to allow it in our lives.
It's so simple to be drawn in to the voices, demands and excitement of the world. We turn to others for so much, for comfort, clarity, and help. Yet, there is a deeper source of wisdom and well being, just waiting for us to be with it. As we leave the tangled mass of voices that call us, and learn to listen to the voice within, we cannot be deceived any longer or lose our way home.
Most of our lives we grapple with problems, going back and forth, hitting our heads against one obstacle or another. It is as though we were locked in situation with no way out. Why can't we stop a moment to go to the door and realize it is open. We can walk right through. The way to see the larger picture, the way to a life giving solution is waiting for us right where we are.
In our world of confusion and holding on, we long for things to stay stable. We need to know what we can count on, what is real and dependable. Yet Zen practice tells us to look beneath the appearance of things if we want to find what we can truly count on. That which comes must go, that which appears, changes. Constant change is inevitable and as we accept it and live as change itself, our life opens us, eases and a deeper reality appears.
As the New Year approaches, we review the year, make lists of how we succeeded and what went wrong. We list our failures, and resolve to improve next year. We do not see that it is not what went wrong that made us unhappy, it is our endless judgments of ourselves and others. And our ceaseless demands that everything turn out the way we like it. When we can learn, enjoy and be grateful for whatever happens, then true happiness begins. When we decide to share our growth, insights and gifts, rather than focusing on what we're getting, then a sense of true peace and contentment pervades everything.
As the year ends and the days grow darker, holidays come to bring light and love into the world. We do all we can to light candles, give gifts, decorate the world with . We crave the warmth and glow of light. And yet, the deepest light we all search for, the light that sustains us through all our lives, is who we basically are. Let us taste, shine and share the light of our being and truly light up the world.
We think our everyday lives are ordinary, nothing much going on. Yet Zen practice tells us that right in the middle of our days, we are being given a huge koan. A koan cannot be figured out, or explained rationally. Yet when we discover how to be with our koan, to keep it warm and play with it, it blooms and comes to live. Then every moment becomes a wonder. We become fully alive.
t's so easy to get caught in endless mixed messages, hopes and dreams and not know what to believe, or where to go. But Soen Roshi told us that it is easy to step out of confusion, and showed us how. First step is not to be confused by your confusion, see it what it is. Then he showed how to return to this very moment and our original guidance and experience.
Most of our lives are spent in disappointment. We complain about everything, try to turn things to our liking, constantly. But even if we succeed, something else arises to disappoint us again. The great surprise and gift of life comes, when we let all that go, and become fully available for everything, just as it is. No fights, no complaints, only deep appreciation, acknowlegment and thanks. This practice of thank you is endlesss, can be applied everyday, everywhere.
Especially on holidays, memories of past years return strongly, including remembering those who are gone. It’s easy to compare one year to another, our lives with others, and wish we were somewhere else now. But we are always where we belong, in the perfect place for us right now. Each encounter is the one which can bring us the most growth and joy. .
How do we heal the inner confusion, distraction, and conflict we live with? In Zen practice the answer is startlingly simple. Not only do we pay radical and loving attention to whatever appears in our lives, we take good care of it. When we take off our shoe, rather than throw them helter skelter, we carefully place them just where they belong. Same with everything in our lives, including the people we interact with. As we make sure our shoes and enviornment isn't messy and disordered, we are simultaneously straightening our messy minds.
We all strive to be better and better to live up to an ideal or image of how we should be, or what we want in the moment. When conditions change, and we cannot achieve it, we fight what is present, reject it, demand things go our way. But the heart of a joyful life is being what we are fully moment by moment, no matter how we wanted things to turn out. Not only accepting it, but enjoying it thoroughly.
t's so easy to react to the endless changes we go through day by day. Some changes are wonderful, others distressing. When something comes along that we don't like, we'll fight it to fiercely, trying to change or fix whatever happens. Or agreeing with it.
But there is another way to receive whatever comes along. This other way keeps us centered, lively, joyous even, not caught in the rip tide of life. A simple Zen teaching can turn our entire lives around.
We think that Zen practice is mysterious and difficult, requires that we sit still for hours and become more and more enlightened. But zazen is only part of it. The very heart of Zen is to "Pick up coat from the floor and put it where it belongs. Take care of our life, notice when something, or someone has fallen down and pick them up, put them and ourselves where we belong. Life constantly presents opportunities to interact with it, to be aware of what is needed and give it with open hands.
Most of our lives we are searching for something we haven't quite found. The search goes on endlessly, and others tell us, "Not Yet", or "Keep Searching," - one day you'll make it. Yet, seated on a donkey, we search for a donkey, do not see that all we are searching for is right here, where we are. Once we stop searching, life changes and we can enjoy the ride..
We all long to be close to someone we care about, belong to a group of place of meaning. An endless search goes on in our lives to be welcomed and invited in. To find the person, teaching or place which will put our longing heart at ease. But when a monk finally found a great teacher, inside a hut and begged to come in, the teacher wisely said, "You Are Not Outside."
It's easy to get caught in the whirl of changing conditions, one minute we're praised, the next blamed. We receive wonderful gifts and then they're taken away. But a wonderful teaching from the great Zen Master Hakuin, shows us how to receive whatever comes wholeheartedly, and not get caught in the pain of change. Whatever happens, he remarks, "Is that so?" He takes a moment to see the full array of life as it comes and goes. He does not ascribe the usual meaning to passing events, just remains centered, cares for what comes and asks, "Is that so?"
We are all so incredibly impatient to get where we’re headed, (even though we have no idea what is waiting for us there). Our days, actions and attention are deeply focused upon where we’re headed. Some days we Pass, other days, Fail, in our estimation. Nevertheless we keep rushing uncontrollably, piling up one task after the next.
But, there is a larger timing in which everything is done, all is cooked naturally. When it’s soup, it’s soup. When you’re cooked, you’re cooked. When you’ve digested your life, you’re nourished. When you let things have their own energy and timing, all works out naturally with great satisfaction.
We all search for answers relentlessly, hoping to be guided about what our problem means, how to procede, what's right or wrong to do.There's no end to the instruction we look for. And yet, none of this brings the true insight and aliveness we crave. After one problem seems to be solved, it pops up again in a different form.
As we discover a totally different way of approaching difficulties that come our way, not only do we enjoy each seeming problem, but amazing possibilities and contentment appear all by itself.
When we're hungry and go into a restaurant, no matter how long we read the menu, it does not fill us up. We must order the food, eat it and be satisfied. Same with our lives, just thinking about life, fantasyzing, analyzing, hoping, imagining, leaves us empty and alone. Instead, Zen practice leads us to taste our lives directly, receive the nourishment and discard the waste.
It's easy to go over the same inscrutable problem or question, again and again. Doesn't seem to have an answer. These are called koans. Using our logical mind, we create plans, strategies and hopes that only bind us further. By embarking upon the great art and joy of Zen Play, we learn not only how to engage with koans, but how to make our entire life a Zen koan, discover new perspectives and solutions, and live with delight.
These days there is so much confusion and what is true and real. Yet the more we think and dwell upon it, the more confused we can become. There is another way to find our direction and live clearly with that which is beneficial for all. As we learn to throw away thoughts of imaginary things, the real appears all by itself.
We love what is beautiful and reject what is ugly, not realizing that all appearances are flashes across the sky of our lives. But, instead of grappling with what happens, trying to change and fix it, make it benefit us, if we step back and see the vastness of the larger pattern a miraculous thing happens, we see the beauty and perfection of all.
Night and day we strive for perfection, fear making a mistake or doing something wrong. These fears can freeze us in our tracks, stop us from moving forward and living a fulfilled life. But Zen practice shows us how to make friends with our mistakes, how important and precious they are. Wrong turns to right and the other way around. And ultimately we see the great harmony of our lives, where nothing was ever wrong or out of place.
All summer long, coming and going. All our lives long, coming and going, but what is our ultimate destination? What do we hope to find when we get there, and what actions will be beneficial as we travel along? When we open to the vastness of our lives, to the great mystery we are embedded in, as we walk along, we Ring The Bell, take clear, full hearted, spontaneous action that arises from the moment itself and reverberates everywhere. Bringing clarity and joy to all..
There are so many ways we get trapped in life, take the bait. We all want so much from others, and when we give there's always the thought of what will come back. This craving to get something in return actually hooks us in another direction and ruins the joy available in just giving with open hands. No thought of receiving anything back. In Zen practice, we learn how not to take the bait! To be with each moment and action fully, wanting nothing more in return.
We all want to do what we feel is important and meaningful, will make our life worthwhile. Along with goals of all kinds, we have endless to do lists. But no matter what we achieve, it is never enough. We push ourselves again and again without feeling complete. This is because our focus has been mistaken. What you are doing right now is most important. There are no significant or insignificant acts. It is How you are doing it that matters.When you value each act and give each act your wholehearted attention, a brand new life opens up.
We all cling to something, hoping it will make us feel safe and secure. But the opposite is true, the more we cling, the more we crush whatever is in our hands. And holding on never stops the endless flow of life and change. There is a great art of letting go, of trusting life and welcoming all that comes and all that goes.
As the seasons turn, year after year, we experience so many change. Many experience a sense of loss, as if something precious has vanished. Where has it gone? How can we find it again? But the coin lost in the river is found in the river. It is not lost really, can always be found. The river will return it to us. All we must do is stop looking everywhere else for it and return to the river.
All of us try so hard to become enlightened, wise, all knowing. But there are no enlightened men or women, only enlightened moments. Come find out how to live a life of true clarity and joy, whatever moments come, and to stop struggling unnecesssarily.
The Fourth of July celebrates freedom and independence, something we all long for. Most feel we have to fight for this, oppose others, struggle for power and control. But this very state of mind keeps our freedom and independence from us. It binds us and prevents the joy and fullness we desire. However there is a different way of approaching life that turns that all around. We can see that Life is fundamentally worthwhile, and taste it fully. When we stop fighting and opposing experience, all the freedom and joy we desire comes naturally.
The heat turns up in all our lives in so many ways. Usually we seek cool breezes, comfortable conditions, good friends and ease. But rather than be on edge and try to always adjust conditions to keep ourselves comfortable, why not jump in. Jump into the heat, rather than resist life, become one with whatever comes. Don't run from anything. Be at home wherever you are. Right there is true wisdom, and ultimate happiness.
Most of us give wanting something back in return. And to hold onto it tightly. Our generosity revolves around ourselves, feeling what's in it for me? This is not generosity but simply barter. As we hunger for a reward we are not aware of what we are receiving constantly and that nothing belongs to us. The flow of life brings what it does and then takes it. When we can give with truly open hands, we are always filled with goodness, which it is a joy to freely share.
So many are searching for the truth. There are endless pathways, talks, books, practices. which can be comforting and fulfilling, but are they real for us? Do we say one thing and live another? There is one sure way which cannot fail and is open to everyone. Live truly and you will see truly. Be true to yourself and one another. We can only see what we are. We can only receive what we give.
We are so occupied with pulling up the weeds in our lives, discarding that which no longer works or makes us happy and replacing it with something shiny and new. Including people. But that never works. There is no such thing as garbage, each weed is a treasure, and can fertilize the soil of our lives. Letting go can never take place fully, until we are able to honor, respect and appreciate whatever has come into our lives, including the weeds.
We all want friends, closeness, true connection. And yet, conditions change. A dear friend may have to leave, or a relationship suddenly alters. That which we hoped would last forever, departs. Yet, there is a True Friend for all of us, and once we encountered them, we can never be alone again. Where is this True Friend, how can we find them?
We all hold onto that which we love and makes us feel secure. When change comes we struggle to keep things the same. But this struggle itself takes our peace from us and keeps us insecure. In this podcast we offer a new way to deal with the Tides of Change, one that inevitably brings peace and security.
Many of us have a dread of being alone, not wanted or included. We live our lives to fit in, gain praise and approval. But living this way something is missing. The One who walks alone does not live an imitation life. He/She is able to live the life given to them, in his own footsteps, expressing his true nature.
We usually think we are living in Reality and all is stable and safe. But when sudden change comes and our anchors are swept away, this is a precious moment. A larger view of Reality is revealed, and what is possible. Koan practice is the same. Find out how we can open our lives to all we are meant to be.
We all cling to something, depend upon it to keep us strong and secure. But change is inevitable, and when it happens, many feel lost. Find out how to let go of the leaning, depending mind and remain, strong, balanced and resourceful no matter what is going on.
Zen is the "Wholehearted Relinquishment of Delusion".. What is delusion and how does it cause us so much pain and dissatisfaction in our lives? And, how can the simple joy of letting a long breath be long and a short breath short, heal us of our sorrows? When we learn how to let life live, and let ourselves live as well, balance and joy are naturally restored.
This is a season of moving to freedom, leaving pain, confusion and despair behind. But how to do it?We search for the answer, when all the time there is an open door right in front of us, a perfect way to go forward, new possibilities, a different life.
We are all on a great journey, but to where? We carefully chart our course of action, and focus upon achieving goals. Yet there is another kind of action possible right in the midst of our daily lives. This action takes us to another place, opens our hearts, puts us in touch with the limitless, vastness of life. .
Many feel empty inside and run to others to fill them up, help, strength. But a great Zen Master told a searching monk. "I wish I could give you the world, but in the Zen school we don't have a thing." See how not having a thing, not clinging and possessing gives you all you have been longing for.
Everyone wants to be smart, to know what this world is and how to behave effectively. We want to be safe, happy and at ease. Yet, thinking we truly understand something, closes the door to on going wonder, exploration and true discovery. The changing world becomes frozen and fixed, and we miss the great joy of allowing life to reveal itself, bringing wonderful possibilities along.
All of us are seeking the way out of confusion. We wonder how to proceed in life, or how to find the right person to guide us. It's as if the path is somewhere else, and that we don't have all that we need right now. We ignore simple moments and those we see all the time. This teaching points in another direction, honoring the great way to move on.
We can easily become obsessed with finding the faults of others and dwelling upon them. Not only does this us disheartened and upset, it prevents us from seeing what is truly important. Not only do we then bring out the negativity in others, but we lose the ability to see ourselves and our deeds and how to take the next steps in our lives.
March is a time of transition, the month between winter and spring. In Zen we March On, muster great determination, but also great resilience and ease. As we take a step upon a road, it becomes clear that we are exactly where we belong at the moment, just must be willing to be there fully.
We all receive so many competing invitations to pay attention to this or that. It's easy for our focus to become split, and our energy depleted as we go through the day. But Zen offers a wonderful antidote. It shows us how to reclaim ourselves and stop squandering our lives. How to be compete and whole.
Much of our lives is run by our hunger for praise and fear of blame. These two dominate our actions and erode our relationships. We fear being natural and honest, trying new things and growing. Zen practice suggests that we let go of both praise and blame and stand in the truth of who we all are.
Valentine's Day is here, and we all want to be loved, thanked, remembered. If we are not, sadness follows and disappointment. But let's look at the true nature of love. Are we in love with the real person in front of us, or a fantasy of our own? When we can know everything about a person and still love them, that is love.
The moment something happens we react, and one reaction breeds another. Our good mood and balance disappear, along with our connection to our own reality.. But when we do not live on automatic, are able to respond constructively from the true person living within.
Most of us want so much from others. And whatever we get is not enough. Craving develops along with resentment. But it's easy to break out of that trrap.This podcast offers a simple Zen teaching which provides a whole new way to feel nourished, connected and complete.
So many of us crave approval, acceptance and to belong. We then create an Ideal Self and strive to be someone we're not. But the difference between Real and Ideal Selves causes endless conflict and pain. However, as we learn how to nourish, discover and love the Real Self, a whole new life appears.
We're always waiting for the perfect day, weather, person,home or job to appear. Once that happens, everything will fall into place. But after one problem is solved another pops up. Find out how to step out of the loop of struggle, problems and discover the perfection that is here right now.
These days we are confronted with so many dreams, possibilities, questions, illusions, how can we know what is real and return to it in our lives? This episode shows how to go back to the Reality of Life, and live in a way that is dynamic, open and constructive, no matter what is going on.
We all wish each other Happy New Year! But how do we truly make the new year new? There is a great and simple secret to experience a really fresh and lively New Year. It is not that events have to suit your liking! It is that You have to become New. It is up to You to greet your life differently. Let's explore how.
"A Feeling That Is Here One Minute and Gone The Next, Cannot Be Called Love." Let's spend time to discover the true taste of love that can never disappear or harm us. This is a wonderful experience in the midst of change, and hunger of all kinds.
We all want love, to be seen, known, cared for and respected. And it is so simple to experience, has nothing to do with seeking approval or controlling others. Find the few simple ways to turn around, and experience love all day long.
During the holiday season we all want to offer kindness and uplift one another's spirits. But what is real kindness? How do we practice it and escape from the dangers of Counterfeit Kindness we see all around. This episode explores the many faces of kindness and how different it can be from what we expect.
During this busy holiday season, we cannot stop rushing around, arranging for gatherings, buying gfts, making calls. We want to do it right and be important, and all the while miss the real gift we have to give and are receiving all the time.
Our lives move so quickly from one season to the next. Yet we fight change, long for things to be the same, especially during the holiday season, wanting to feel safe and secure. Find a brand new way to deal with change that not only brings new treasures into your life, but a sense of sense of stability, no matter what happens.
The Thanksgiving holidays are a time to give thanks for all we have received and celebrate it. Yet so many feel empty, lonely and filled with lack. However there is an unfailing way to turn this out and feel fulfilled and grateful. Take a moment and really see Who is the Giver, and What is the True Gift?
It's so easy to get caught up and taken over by the endless people, calls, messages and surprises that appear. But there's a great cost to us living this way. Let's find out how to stay rooted in our own lives and direction and not get lost.
Most of us give with one hand and then wait to see the outcome. This inevitably leads to disappointment and resentment. Is our gift enough? Will they love us for it? From the world of Zen a new way of giving arises...This podcast shows us how to give fully in all circumstances and feel full and happy about it, no matter what.
We go many places, visit and return. What calls us home? What in our life is fleeting and temporary, only a guest, and what remains stable and welcoming, the Host? As we learn to recognize the difference between that which must go, and that which remains, our lives fall into harmony. We also learn how to take the different roles in our lives, become both a guest and host, and enjoy the gifts of each situation.
We all feel called to do something important in life. Many create large goals and plans in order to do something worthwhile, larger than ordinary life. Yet there is a danger here. It becomes easy to overlook what is needed right now, waiting beside you. We may not realize that just grabbing the dust rag and caring for what must be cared for is enlightenment itself.
Much of our life revolves around playing with toys and putting so much time and effort into getting them, keeping them, and then when the toy is worn out finding an updated version. Including relationships. But Uchiyama Roshi says, when we are young we play with toys, when we grow old we want the real thing." What is the real thing in your life? What is that which is abundantly available, natural and provides lasting satisfaction and joy?
We are all looking for something or someone special, or to become special ourselves. Who we are is not enough, something is always wrong or missing. Many feel that way, wondering how to become fulfilled and whole? There is a great secret of Zen which answers this directly and simply as we explore the truth about Ordinary Mind.
The world as we know it is ruled by fierce hunger which quickly develops into greed. And when we get what we want, oddly we only want more of it. No matter how much we receive, there is always dissatisfaction. When is it enough? How to become full and complete, able to say a true Thank You and move along? TThere is a way. Come discover the answer.
There is so much confusion in our world today, we barely know where to turn. Some say the "Center does not hold." This is a wonderful time to find our true Center, the place where we know just what to depend upon and where to turn.
We all seek the ultimate answer to what we can really count on in life. Many absorb the words and experiences of others and expect them to provide all they need. They hold onto these truth fiercely. But, what was real and true for us yesterday may make no sense a few days later. Conditions change, we change, our needs and understanding changes. So, what can we really count on, where can we put our trust? Come listen to this episode and find out.
We all want life to be sweet and are looking for that taste of honey. We look for it in our food, relationships, friends, circumstances that will not disturb us. The goal is comfort and being undisturbed. But all that is sweet turns bitter. Where can we find a taste of honey that remains delicious and comforting throughout all the experiences in our life? Come listen and see.
Here we are at end of summer, preparing to return home. Everything returns to where it came from, it has to. Waves return to seashore, baby to mother's arms, friends to one another. Learn how the great rhythms of the universe can bring us exactly where we belong. Learn the great art of pausing and return.
We all wish to be happy and plan our lives around it. Inevitably, however, happy times come and go. How is it possible to end sorrow and experience unflinching happiness? Our first reaction is to fight disturbing moments, but this episode offers a completely new way of experiencing sorrow so that it transforms into a deeper life.
We all seek companionship, good friends. We want to be heard and to be known. And yet within ourselves and our worlds is One Who Walks Alone. This is a Zen koan. This is not a lonely one, but one who can never be lonely, who walks in her truth, living the life given to them.
Here we are in summer, vacationing, looking for excitemement and refreshment, hoping to make life special. Then we return to our routines, having to face ordinary moments again. But here is a secret about how to make our usual lives alive, refreshing and filled with surprises.Without going anywhere at all.
The Zen direction to lasting happiness is very different from the way we usually live. When asked that question, teachers just point to what is under your nose. Happiness is right here always, they are saying, offering a cup of tea. Drink your tea, enjoy it! And then, please, wash your cup. Both the drinking and cleaning, receiving and giving make for a complete life.
Usually we give to others, expecting a great deal in return. This way of life keeps us dependent upon the outcome of our actions. If they go as we wish, we are a success, if not a failure. Find out a totally new way of giving that frees you to enjoy each moment, person and gift, no matter the outcome.
So many of us falling in love with someone because they make us feel good and meet our needs. When they change, the love vanishes. But are we in love with them, or with our fantasy about them? Are we basically in love with ourselves? Learn how to break through this, let go of the fantasy and see what love truly is.
It's so easy to get trapped into sorrow that we can't get out of. Zen wisdom has a way for us to open the windows and doors, to let the sun in and find that there is so much more happening along with the sorrow we experience.
Find out why the Best Encouragement is No Encouragement. We all want to be encouraged, uplifted, inspired and look for role models to emulate. But when someone disappoints us, or things go wrong, our inspiration usually goes down the hill. The Zen Way, however, offers an entirely different way to remain inspired and encouraged. Take a step on this new path.
How can we fill our lives with acts of Inevitable, natural kindness? How do we live with playfulness and joy, no matter what? The great Master who lived in a tree house tells us, offering a surprising wake up call.
After an exciting day of celebrations, many feel let down, as if now it's just an ordinary afternoon... Nothing special. They retreat and go through the paces of the life. But each day, each moment is unique and precious. Let's learn how not to kill time, to miss our lives, and live it to the call.
So many are shocked by the sudden loss of two well known individuals. Why did they resort to suicide to end their suffering? In Zen we explore the very nature of what life is, how it can be lived fully in a way that brings fulfillment. We also look at the cycles of life and death that occur each day and how to be at ease with them. Finally, we can grow to see, that wherever one is, these cycles go on endlessly, and there is a deep way to live without suffering and a sense of separation.
We all are in the grip of cravings which run our lives mercilessly. But no matter what we do to satisfy it, the craving continues anyway. Nothing hit the spot. That is because we have not yet recognized what it is we are truly hungry for. Once we do, our true craving turns our life around and brings real satisfaction.
Most of us spend our lives searching. Something is missing and we don't know where it is. And all the time the door to the Zen Hut is open and all we are looking for is right within. In fact, you are being called to enter. "Come Find Me", life says.
We discard so much in our lives, considering it garbage. Either it's gotten old, lost its glimmer, or seems unimportant in our lives. But here we stop and realize the price we pay when doing that, how much of our lives we toss away. We also understand why an old Zen Master taught his student that there was no such thing as garbage. Everything serves everything else.
We are bombarded by so many demands upon our attention, not realizing that our attention is our precious energy and life force. What we pay attention to increases and intensifies in our lives. Learn how to take charge of your life and energy and live according to your true direction.
Most of our lives we spend dwelling upon painful situations. But here is a way to turn that around and see that whatever happens, holds a precious gift for us.
We're all looking for miracles, sudden beneficial changes in our lives. And miracles do happen. But Henry Miller, tells us that there is only one real miracle. Standing Still. See what he means and how to step off the merry go round of life.
As we walk along the roads of our lives, what is our ultimate destination? And what is the true way to make this journey so that every moment counts? This episode discusses Zen practice, during the day of the funeral of a great Zen Master.
Much of our interactions with others is about deciding who is right, who is wrong. Conflict, power struggles and disappointment rule the day. This podcast offers a completely new way to be together, which opens the way for fun, true friendship and wonderful surprises.
We always want to be somewhere else, waiting for the perfect moment, person or situation to be happy. This episode show us how that compulsion takes our lives from us. As we return to where we are and find all that is good in it, fear and sorrow drift away.
Stones seem strong, tough and immovable, but a simple drop of water, flowing, yielding and nourishing, can wear away the stone. We make our lives and hearts into stones and here we learn how to melt away the harshness so we can live a life that is joyous and fulfilled.
The journey to freedom is being celebrated this week-end. Throughout all the centuries and traditions we are called to a larger life, and in our journey must learn to hear the call, know where it is coming from and what it is addressing. Then, as we discern, we are called to respond. Lets look at the different calls upon our lives and see where they are taking us.
Part of the distress we have in life comes from travelling on paths which lead us in the wrong direction, or are not the paths that belong to us. In this podcast we explore how to walk with our own two feet and as we are walking, create a life and journey that is satisfying, every step of the way.
Let's discover the root of our sorrow and distress and how to uproot it. We'll look at the difference between pain and suffering and how to contact the source of all well being.
Let's explore the nature of so called problems and "mistakes". Let's also look at koans, what are they and how do they relate to the issues we confront in life and the ways in which we try to solve them. This episode begins the journey of learning how to view life playfully, enjoyably, to take the sting out of problems, not get caught in obsessive thinking, but find the part of us that has all the answers we need.