FAMILY STRONG PODCAST: Recent Episodes
Randy
Welcome to the FAMILY STRONG podcast. My name is Randy Palmer and I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF YOUR FAMILY. I specialize in facilitating discussions with groups of family members and creating systems and structures designed to help families develop, implement and sustain consistent and successful family councils.These councils when done correctly, utilize the eternal bonds and inherent instincts that draw us together to reestablish the FAMILY AS THE FOUNDATION for growth and future success.Many in our community have forgotten the unifying POWER and RESILIENCY that FAMILIES posses and have resorted to less effective but socially accepted patterns of delegating the responsibility for the well being of their families. Choosing the divid and conquer approach and avoiding certain topics all together like:Finances, Death, Addiction, Inheritance , Business, Divorce, Unresolved loss and Trauma, Struggling marriages, Mental or physical illness, Suicidal thoughts and Relationships. The families my team and I work with become FAMILY STRONG by consistently engaging TOGETHER in open, RESPECTFUL AND LOVING communication on these topics and many more. Seriously, it’s not as hard as you might think.The FAMILY STRONG PODCAST will inspire the fire within and show you how your family is a treasure trove of untapped POWER that can HEAL the wounds of the past, bring PEACE OF MIND in the present and CHANGE YOUR FAMILY LEGACY for generations to come.I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF YOUR FAMILY!THE QUESTION I HAVE IS…..DO YOU?
In this episode I share observations and insights I've had when working with Fathers and Sons who are navigating the waters of addiction.
I'm remeinded of a powerful qoute by Frank Pittman that says
"Fathering is not something perfect men do, but something the perfects the man."
This is defiantly the case when it comes to dealing with the affects of addiction.. I believe that no-one has greater influence or a higher opportunity to help a son be ready to receive help than that of his Father.
to further illustrate this point I share three things Fathers can do now, to begin to successfully intervene in their Son's addiction.
The three principles are:
- Connection before correction
- Clear and firm boundaries
- Be the light
Click link below to Join the Family Strong Community , access my weekly training or learn more about how I can help your family.
https://linktr.ee/randypalmer
Thank you for listening.
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Doing an intervention on a loved one may feel scary or intimidating. But, did you know there are alternatives? Different approaches exist such as the Johnson model and the ARISE Model that each can lead to successful outcomes.
Intervening on a loved one can present itself as an intimidating situation. But, that doesn't always need to be the case! There are alternatives out there that could make it a bit easier. The ARISE model can take some of the apprehension out of the equation. In many cases, adopting this processes can minimize stress levels for all involved and make for a smoother transition. So, setting aside time to understand these methods prior to implementing an intervention can be beneficial in restoring the relationship between the parties at hand and help progress the conversation further.
IN this episode I show the statistics from the ARSIE model and why your famikly shold intervene now in order to lesson the down stream effects of this situation.
I hope you enjoy this podcast.
Here is the information for our our sponsor at Melanie's health and Nutrition
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Click link below to Join the Family Strong Community , access my weekly training or learn more about how I can help your family.
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Thank you for listening.
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In this episode I discuss 5 things that almost all families are missing when it comes to addiction
1 It's not really about addiction- drop the stigma
2 The problem/solution involves the entire family, not just one person
3 You have more power than you think to change it
4 To see results you must break social norms
5 This challenge is actually a huge opportunity
Click link below to Join the Family Strong Community , access my weekly training or learn more about how I can help your family.
https://linktr.ee/randypalmer
Thank you for listening.
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In this week's episode, Casey Scott and Dr. Matt Woolley are joined by Randy Palmer (Owner of Family Council Recovery) to talk about how a normal and consistent childhood took a turn for the worst once he began to experience anxiety attacks. Randy opens up about how a tooth surgery introduced him to Lortab and how the prescription initially helped ease his anxiety.
Then Randy opens up about how a failed relationship pushed him even further into addiction where he would continue to navigate the world of illegal prescription medication. He shares some of his darkest moments during his addiction and what ultimately led to him seeking out recovery options.
Lastly, Randy talks about what has led him to spend his time helping others live healthier lives.
Click link below to Join the Family Strong Community , access my weekly training or learn more about how I can help your family.
https://linktr.ee/randypalmer
Thank you for listening.
Please share this episode with friends and family
Most people have heard of a board of directors, but may not know exactly what they do. A board of directors is a group of people who are appointed to oversee the management of a company. They provide guidance and strategic planning for the company, and help to ensure that it is run in a responsible and ethical manner. The makeup of a board can vary from company to company, but it typically includes representatives from different parts of the business world, such as investors, customers, employees, and suppliers. Boards usually meet on a regular basis to discuss key issues affecting the company and make decisions accordingly.
Now read the above paragraph again, but replace the work "Business" with "Family"
The problem is
- **Social norms like, divide and conquer
- Making major decisions w/o consensus or buy in from others.
- Unsure what's right when it comes to personal privacy or when to include others with information/ challenges that aren't their responsibility or business**
How are we to know what's right
The scope of the problem should determine the scope of the solution. If your Looking for different results, calls for implementing different approaches and techniques.
How to turn my family into a board of directors
1. Choose the right people you plan to involve/invite.
Remember the point of a board of directors is to provide guidance and strategic planning for the company, and help to ensure that it is run in a responsible and ethical manner. It typically includes representatives from different parts of the business world/family, such as investors, customers, employees, and suppliers. The scope of the problem should determine the scope of the solution
2. Schedule time and date for first meeting.
You schedule it and invite people, keep it simple
3. Hole first council and offer invitation to the board
4 Hold regular meetingsTips for how to conduct the council/board
1 Basic greeting, thank everyone for coming
2 Outline basic structure for the Council
3 Set the ground rules
4 Give everyone a voice
5 allow open discussion, address needs and create action plans
Basic ideas
- No longer is one person in charge, these decisions affect everyone and require effort from everyone and therefore, should include everyone.
- No longer hidden agenda or predetermined outcomes.
Let the free flow of information determine what is best for the family
If you can get people together for open discussion, while maintaining the spirit of love- You are doing it!
Click link below to Join the Family Strong Community , access my weekly training or learn more about how I can help your family.
https://linktr.ee/randypalmer
Thank you for listening.
Please share this episode with friends and family
I heard a story once of a father who removed his son from the family will, but never took the chance to explain to him why, or give him a chance to improve his behavior.
There is a heightened interest and values in these conversation and It’s a great way to begin the process of Connection, motivation and collaboration.
Topics
1 Begin the process of open connection/communication and crucial conversations.
2 You need them! their uniqueness, grit and life experiences have been preparing them to carry on your Legacy.
3 They need a confidence boost and to know that your still believe in them.
True legacy and inheritance is the improvement of inter-generational patterns and increasing the quality of relationships
But, how do we do this?
Stop avoiding the conversation and address it directly. Set some standards or expectations for the future, make it as powerful as possible. Include other professionals/family and put it on paper.
This is a great opportunity to foster healthy behavioral adjustments and possible discussions about treatment options.
Let them know of your dreams for them and that you still believe in them and that you are committed to their long term success
Thank you for listening.
Please share this episode with friends and family
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When I was younger I grew up working for my Fathers company. In my early 20’s as I got into addiction I was consistently doing things at work that put myself, my family and my fathers company at risk.
In this episode I discuss what I learned from those experiences and explore some ideas that can help you handle your family business better than we did.
topics:
1 Employees who are using at work are definitely bringing a high element of risk to your organization
2 It’s most likely not a secret, you are the last one to know
3 What standard do you want to set for your family and business? if nothing changes how does this end?
Are you burned out, afraid or paralyzed to take actions, because you’re avoiding personal/business growth or the unknown. Have you had the delegation and transition conversation? If not, Put something on paper and use this as leverage
Understand that they may need to leave the family business now, in order to return a better version of themselves in the future.
You have a great opportunity to shift company culture and improve production and quality of work life/balance for all.
This mess can become the massage that raises your company to the next level
These experiences may be building the foundation that will turn your child into the leader of your Legacy.
Enjoy
Thank you for listening.
Please share this episode with friends and family
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This podcast is hosted by Family Council Recovery Coach and Trained Interventionist Randy Palmer
Time and to do lists are a very important part of managing a marriage and family. In this episode I'll share how setting aside time, each week to discuss, with your spouse, the needs of your family, could quite frankly change your family legacy for generations to come.
Topics include:
- Parents and time management
- Chaos and Crisis
- Scheduling time to discuss needs
- Evaluating priorities and making decisions
Enjoy
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This Podcast is hosted by Family Council Coach and Interventionist Randy Palmer
Did you know that studies have proven that children who are struggling with addiction and other challenges are 5 times more likely to make contact with a parent on a daily basis than that of their healthy siblings?
It's true
According to a study (Stanton & Shadish, 1997).
Struggling loved ones remain very closely connected; in fact more closely connected than the general population. Averaging several studies, it appears that 9% of nonaddicts tend to call their families daily while addicted persons maintain daily contact with their families at a rate of approximately 57% in the US, 62% in England, 80% in Thailand and Italy, and 67% in Puerto Rico (Perzel & Lamon, 1979; Vaillant, 1995)
There are a few thoughts that come to mind as I reflect on this study. I will share my thoughts in this episode.
1 We are often deeply connected with those in our families who need the most help.
2 How we communicate and what we believe about these people and their futures matters and affect all of us, daily.
3 There is true power in "Strength in numbers" when groups of people educate themselves and seek to better connect with and understand this person and relate messages of hope to those who are struggling the most.
If you could do me a huge favor and share this podcast with friends and family as you see appropriate. You just never know, it could save a life.
Also,
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Thanks for being you.
Randy Palmer
Is it time to ditch the group text?
In this episode I discuss more effective options for families to utilize when communicating or connecting on a deeper level.
I dive into current options for meetings remotely online or in person. and give some basic ideas of how you can structure family meetings or councils to actually prevent or identify and address major concerns within your family.
Enjoy
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In this episode I give a general overview of the 5 steps and 6 foundational principles at the core of the- FAMILY STRONG TRAINING
The purpose of these steps is to provide a framework that families can follow to identify, address and resolve challenges as well as establish a long term pattern for preventing future challenges and setting and accomplishing goals.
The 5 steps
- Daily contact
- Gather your Family Council
- First family Council
- Continuous Councils
- Service
The 6 Principles
- Single Biggest Goal
- Complete communication
- Redefine success and target objectives
- Develop a FAMILY STRONG MINDSET
- Patience through the process
This framework boldly empowers families to reestablish or build upon healthy lines of communication to proactively create and establish sustainable and consistent patterns of meeting and working together in unity and creativity.
Training and personal coaching offered through Individual and family settings are available personally in your home or remotely vie zoom.
In this episode I use an ocean tide analogy to help people know when and how to communicate with family, friends and co-workers.
In this day and age our voices are our greatest weapon to bring about change. When I was younger, I had moments of severe social anxiety, my power to change myself, or help others, was greatly diminished.
Expression of our thoughts, feelings and beliefs are crucial for the long term success of our families and communities..
But, what do we do when people are not listening to our council or advice?
Should we hold it in and stay quiet?
Should we vent to others and seek validation?
Should we raise our voice and increases our passion?
It's important to learn to recognize patterns and small clues when navigating through these challenging questions.
Every conversation we have and every experience means something and effects all of us.
Listen now to learn
- Signs and clues that someone is ready to heat what you have to say
- Why staying consistent and unified makes such a difference
- The top signals that tell you "they are not open to your feedback at this time."
Enjoy
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In this episode I'll discuss how important perspective is when dealing with a major blow up or a conflict within your family. Often times when families are progressing with positive momentum something will occur that seems to bring things back to reality. The question is who determines reality and what role does perspective play in this process?
A few causes that may lead to these type of conflicts are:
- Lack of open and honest communication
- Avoiding, denying or refusing sensitive topics.
- Individuals lacking the skills to communicate openly and respectfully
What to do now
- Record some details. What was said examples etc. etc.
- Focus on SBG and let things settle for a few weeks
- Re engage when appropriate with those that are willing
Overall, these conflicts can be a huge learning experience for your family and in the long run these experiences will most likely lead your family to a better place of unity and healing, but if it doesn't, your perspective and response to these conflicts will be the deciding factors in your personal health and the health of your family moving forward.
You can choose your perspective.
You can choose to forgive
You can choose to continue to influence and help your family adapt overtime.
Your internal story matters and your perspective makes all the difference.
If you enjoy this episode and want more.....
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Link for crucial conversation book
https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAEB8MHhwFM≷=US&hl=en-US&source=productsearch&utm_source=HA&utm_medium=SEM&utm_campaign=PLA&pcampaignid=MKT-FDR-na-us-1000189-Med-pla-bk-Evergreen-Jul1520-PLA-Audiobooks_Business_Economics&gclid=CjwKCAjwiJqWBhBdEiwAtESPaL6uiuXtyUsT3CwrJzreGfXpmW_l250fzDPECHgFu7ieA3jSNNbEwhoChfsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
Did your know I once helped a family get a child to hit rock bottom 24 hours after meeting them?
Rock bottom is a term we hear thrown around a lot.
The principle behind it implies that people, on their own, will eventually get to a place where they choose to accept help or change.
Like the prodigal son... Let them go and they will eventually arrive at rock bottom... or not
It's hard to argue against this process because generally speaking, the story is full of correct principles and deep meaning.
The problem is, we are not speaking generally here. We are talking about your family and your loved ones.
Each scenario is unique and requires custom action steps to meet the demands of the moment.
The term Rock bottom usually carries with it the flawed belief that their is "nothing anyone can do" to help this person.
It implies that doing nothing and waiting for them to do something is the only option... This is simply not the truth.
I replace the term ROCK BOTTOM with "THE TIDE"
Rock bottom is passive and reactive
THE TIDE is proactive and always evolving.
Tune in to this episode and see how learning to recognize 'THE TIDE' is much more effective then "waiting' for ROCK BOTTOM.
If you enjoyed this episode
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In this episode I’ll be discussing how a basic family council can be structured, when it is appropriate to start a council with your family and why it matters.
In Utah the phrase family council is very familiar. I remember hearing it, even as a young boy.
Surprisingly, there’s very little information out there that shows how these type of meetings or councils are to be structured. Especially when there are sensitive topics or crucial conversations that might evolve. Most families are hesitant to engage in such conversations, out of fear of offending or causing contention.
Some families engage directly, yet to abrasively and lack the ability to lovingly and directly communicate in appropriate ways. Unfortunately, too many families are missing an opportunity to pool their resources and unite in an effort to overcome challenges.
It is time for families to attack with a vengeance the obstacles and challenges that stand between them and their future life’s of unity, abundance and prosperity..
Join me in this episode and learn how the family council structure can better unite your family and give you the edge on overcoming challenges.
If you enjoy this episode and want more.....
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In this episode I share three tips to ENGAGE AND APPORACH YOUR FAMILY. If you are someone who is using and wanting to quit, this is an option you might not have thought about. If you are someone attempting to support or lead a loved one into recovery, these tips could make all the difference for you and your family.
Tip 1- Use I statements or I stories to get their attention.
Tip 2- Focus on the iceberg approach.
Tip 3- Connect on Goals or something that we can work towards … Together.
FAMILIES HAVE REAL POWER AND ITS TIME WE STEP INTO IT.
Thank you for listening
I share about my experience nurturing my mother as a four year old buy. She often had headaches and would have to check out from life. I eventually got into my addiction that was driven by social anxiety. After deciding to check myself into treatment my father help this big FAMILY MEETING.
I FELT SO MUCH POWER IN THE ROOM.
After finishing treatment my family and I were still very venerable. I set my sights on serving a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints. This was huge for me as I needed something to work towards. This time on my mission is where I experienced true recovery and learned my true identity, which wasn't an "ADDICT."
After returning home I attended college and started a business. I wanted to work with people but was resistant to enter addiction recovery due to lack of confidence and poor results in the industry. I fond that love was the key to lasting change and that FAMLILIES are most likely to love.
You can still clean things up, even if they don't get clean.
For this episode, I chose one of my favorite topics.; Breaking Social Norms.
We have been conditioned to react certain ways to the challenges our families face. We often wait for a major event, like a death in the family, before we unite to comfort one another and pool resources to assist in the transition.
Families are so POWERFUL but many have forgotten they have this power because they are stuck operating in social norms. too often they approach addiction too casually and then struggle dealing with its effects. This does not need to be the case.
Its time families take bold step Break social norms. As they do they will begin to experience
- Increase power and strength within the family
- A deeper authentic connection with their loved ones
- Increased hope and faith the the future success of their family.
If you need help implementing these steps with your family please email me a together@familycouncilrecovery.com
or Join my private fakebook group by clicking here https://bit.ly/joinfamilystrong
I had a chance to sit down with my buddy Jared Miller on his podcast to share my story of anxiety and addiction. My life experience has uniquely led me to the work i do now and I wouldn't change any of it. I often tell people that their children need to be enabled, however they need to be enabled perfectly. In this episode i get to share a powerful spiritual experience i had my third night in rehab. those 11 minutes changed my life forever. For more info please join my FAMILY STRONG Facebook group. If you would like me to help your family please email me at together@familycouncilrecovery.com