Dear Black Gay Men Podcast: Recent Episodes
Jai The Gentleman
I am Jai The Gentleman and this Dear Black Gay Men Podcast.
It's a short, bullshit-free step out of our comfort zone to talk about all the emotional ups-and-downs along the journey to happiness. Hopefully, this is our weekly reminder of how dope it is to be Black gay men who love Black gay men.
@OpenRelationshipPodcast is one of our faves here on the channel. The hosts give different perspectives on gay dating, Black LGBTQ social issues and everything A to Z about Black gay culture. But this particular story rubbed me the wrong way and I think Rodney may have it wrong.
I am not trans, nor am I a parent, so most may take my perspectives with a grain of salt, but Neyo story has us questioning everything about communication, parenting, and what we would do if our future child comes to us questioning their gender identity. #queer #neyo #transphobia
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
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IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
I know it’s Leo season, but this lesson in Gemini dating hit me so hard this week. I went on a date, asked the guy “what are you looking for?’ Of course, in true gay fashion, he responded “I’m not really looking.” For some reason, we’ll go looking for EVERYTHING in the world except a date. We’ll look for money, cars, degrees, jobs, customers, but love is something we expect to fall in our lap.
This episode is dedicated to righting a wrong that has Black gay culture in a chokehold. Hopefully this week’s doneness reminder will leave you feeling a little more courageous as you go through the emotional ups and downs along your journey to happiness.
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“Single is Your Super Power” by Case Kenny: https://amzn.to/3DkqlSs
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YT: YouTube.com/@DearBlackGayMen
🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
@BishopOCAllen renewed his vows to his husband of 20 years, Rashad Burgess. Allen, who I call “B”, said he hates folding clothes. To the untrained ear, that sounds like something you discover over a 20 year marriage. But to me, I thought how dope it is that he’s self-aware enough to know that about himself and to say it publicly.
This episode is dedicated to helping each of us single people grow a level of self-awareness that helps us date better, find better men, and connect with guys more deeply. I’m using one example that we’ve all seen on the dating apps or in real life, but this one problem in Black gay culture may be able to shed some light on a bigger lesson we can all apply to our dating lives as Black gay men. #datingadvice #relationships #singlelife
Special Announcement coming tomorrow: https://youtube.com/live/Y9yLzIEjxaw?feature=share
“Single is Your Super Power” by Case Kenny: https://amzn.to/3DkqlSs
Special thanks to @oretteayton5262 and @phynekat for the comments and encouragement
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Welcome to Dear Black Gay Men on YouTube.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
Have you ever met a guy, got a number, texted for a while, a couple dates, but just can't make it over the 90-day hump? After so many failed dating attempts, it's easy to think it's either all men...or it's got to be me.
This episode of the podcast is here to show us that it's a little of column A, a little of column B. A whole lot of luck and the right kind of work. What kind of work should we be putting into our dating situations? And how to ensure that work pays off?
Special thanks to @infiniteimani3534 for the inspo, and comments from @YzBG and http://www.instagram.com/alexanderlove_love
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I don't want to say EVERYONE has cheated, but have a relationship or dating commitment violated is an experience way too many gay guys have in common. I'm a cheater. I had a wonderful relationship that fell apart because of a lot of issues I brought into the dating situation.
Now that I've worked through my ish (I am a single guru after all - https://youtu.be/sY4ubstbX-c) and I've dealt with my issues (as best I can), I'm sharing some of the lessons I've learned on why we cheat and how to avoid the pitfalls that lead us to cheat in the first place.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
New uploads WEDNESDAYS & THURSDAYS
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I really don’t think Black gay men are singling right. When it comes to dating, there is some intention we have to put behind who we allow into our lives. This post is a must see for any Black gay guy who is looking to get back into the dating pool. What should you be looking out for and how can we navigate dating better?
“Single is Your Super Power” by Case Kenny: https://amzn.to/3DkqlSs
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Apple: https://tinyurl.com/5ymdtdx4
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YT: YouTube.com/@DearBlackGayMen
🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
When's the last time somebody asked you if you're a top or bottom? For me it was a couple days ago just before a first date. He was more interested in my position than he was in the date. Then I got the lesson.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
Gee Smalls is the Jai-appointed king of nudism in Atlanta. I'm worried about what to wear on an upcoming cabin trip, meanwhile he's naked on the gram. Then I got the lesson.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
http://www.dearblackgaymen.com
I was traveling for an entanglement--not a date, not a relationship--a purely physical exchange when I got a big lesson about hook-up culture and how it's an analogy for Black gay culture at large.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
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I remember when I used to watch older guys in the club thinking, "where yo man at?" I swore that I'd have me a husband before I end up 40 in the club...
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
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We go live Thursdays at 8pm EST!
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Knowing what we want in a relationship sounds good on its face, but some of us have taken "knowing" to an unhealthy extent. This week's episode of Dear Black Gay Men Podcast is focused on a date I went on with "Victor" and some of the pitfalls that come with being a single man over 30 trying to date in these streets. I learned a valuable lesson that comes up when we think about compromise in dating. #dating #relationshipadvice #singlelife
Cast of Love & Us Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsyEUF8oSDh16JK_AlExsRuNLa44mq2Tu
Welcome to Dear Black Gay Men on YouTube.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
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Talking to a new guy is the part of dating that is the most exciting because you get to figure out the guy and dream about your future together. But with that can come some tense discussions. This week's episode is dedicated to understanding where those arguments come from when you're dating, how to get out of them, and the self-work Black gay guys have to do to avoid them altogether. #dating #relationshipadvice #singlelife
Welcome to Dear Black Gay Men on YouTube.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
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If you’ve ever been ghosted, it can be hard to pick up the pieces especially if you were really cutting for this man. When I got ghosted, luckily, I knew it was his loss, but it still hurt. This is my story. Hopefully you can relate.
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Theme music by The Passion HIFI
I’ve dated men who were EXCITING and that made me EXCITED to be around them. Then I dated men who were just a date. Because I’ve been on both ends of the excited-ness spectrum, I’m pretty good at pulling out some hallmarks to know when he’s actually excited about you, or if it’s just a show.
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Use code “DBGM20” for 40% off your subscription (limited time offer)
Q&A: https://youtu.be/dezoSBrtcrk
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Even though I’m healed now, I’m guilty as anyone else of hurting people in my past. This episode is my story of figuring out what gaslighting is, how I gaslit my ex, and what I did to overcome it—my healing process.
Magic Mind: https://www.magicmind.co/dbgm
Use code “DBGM20” for 40% off your subscription (limited time offer)
3 Unmistakeable Signs He’s Gaslighting You: https://youtu.be/zejx5Eisdj0
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After recording this one, I've realized that I dedicated a lot of energy to "Joe" for one reason. This episode, I'm talking through how I learned that it's way past time to move on.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
http://www.fullyvers.com
I be quitting shit. Quitting people, quitting projects, quitting everything I've set my mind to. Well, not everything, but a lot of stuff. So I'm talking about how I'm not quitting this season and the lessons I'm learning by persevering.
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
http://www.fullyvers.com
📲 Subscribe to Dear Black Gay Men Podcast
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Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/2p9pye7s
🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
I had an ex, Terry, who taught me the most valuable lesson of all: cheating has nothing to do with sex. This is the story.
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The most random conversation in the DMs gave me two HUGE insights on my own dating life and our culture. Spoiler Alert: you may want to stay out my DMs. #SingleLife #Identification #RepresentationMatters #DatingAdvice #SingleAdvocate
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
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Glory holes have intention behind them--not just the people that use them. There's a lesson there if you allow it. #hookups #entanglements #anon #DatingAdvice #SingleAdvocate
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
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Why do we end up doing the "so what's up" tango when we hook-up? I got a huge aha about our interests and attractions on my last entanglement. #Hookups #SingleLife #DatingAdvice #SingleAdvocate
📲 Subscribe to Dear Black Gay Men Podcast
YT: https://bit.ly/3V8HjuW
🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
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Break ups suck, no matter who you are and who initiated. It takes time and work to get back to yourself “with full mobility”. These are 5 benchmarks along the journey. #BreakUps #DatingAdvice #SingleAdvocate
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
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This video is your secret guidebook to understanding what kind of versatile you are, what kind of versatile he is, and how y’all can make magic together. #datingadvice #sexcoach
Dating "John": https://youtu.be/KKTZk5GmJvQ
📲 Subscribe to Dear Black Gay Men Podcast
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
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I’ve pursued deeply unavailable men for the my whole life as an out, Black gay man. Giving too much, compensating for their disinterest and releasing all my agency. These are some critical life lessons I picked up along my journey to happiness. Thanks @Case Kenny #relationshipadvice #podcast #blackgaymen
Case Kenny’s book: https://amzn.to/3L8A5CA
Case Kenny’s YouTube video: https://youtu.be/pH5sOHnhcLk
📲 Subscribe to Dear Black Gay Men Podcast
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🎶 Theme music by The Passion HIFI
Our purpose is to be the voice of our culture: talking to Black gay men, about Black gay men and for Black gay men in ways that thinks us forward.
➡️ Connect with Jai The Gentleman
IG: https://www.instagram.com/JaiTheGentleman
Shop: http://www.fullyvers.com/shop
http://www.fullyvers.com
Can we ever stop overthinking? Is that ever a good thing? Is there a such thing as Virgo seduction? This week, we ring in a new astrological season as I discuss what to your virgo won’t stop virgo-ing.
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If you’ve ever had boring online conversations with potentials, it’s probably because of one of these reasons
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In this episode, I talk about how I protect my emotions when I'm engaging, and why it's holding some of us back from true connection.
Purchase Ethical Slut on Amazon:
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In this episode, I talk about the epidemic of asking for things we're really not ready for and how I overcame my lack of emotional and sexual preparedness.
But then I also talk about why bottoms are the cornerstone of our culture.
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In this episode, I talk about why getting out of other folks' business is so much more than just gossiping and it actually will unlock your (and others') blessings.
ha-ya-bo-ho-ko-shah...
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Encanto had me in the full ugly cry because I realized I'm Bruno with a Mirabel twist.
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I'm taking a break from my "Joe Chronicles" to talk about my last time going to the s*x house...and what I learned from it.
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My best friend Maquan (@TruthfullyLoyal on IG) gave me maybe the best relationship advice I've ever gotten as the dating saga with Joe continues.
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Jerrod Carmichael bravely talks about what it means to live with a lie and the hard journey someone close to him had to take to overcome it. Oh...and he came out as gay.
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I was on a cabin trip...but not one of "those kind" of gay cabin trips and somebody asked me the best question about relationships. I didn't have an answer then, but I got one now.
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I hated on Durand Bernarr so bad. Yes, I'm a hating @ssed n*gga. But I'm overcoming and evolving. You know what I call that?
Growth
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I'm watching this White gay couple live off the grid, and I'm thinking, "Do we do stuff like that?" "Do we even want to?" I'm ready to argue, cuz I can feel it coming.
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When Jhené Aiko said that, I felt that shit. This episode is me realizing I aint' where I want to be, but I'm definitely not where I used to be.
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We've traveled down the road and back again. Joe wants to be my friend.
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"I was expressing a relationship" was probably the biggest epiphany I had. "When he walks away from me, I want that ngga to feel that sht."
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It's me. I'm n*ggas. I'm excited to be back to the podcast. Being on this side of this question makes sure I never have to give any answers.
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I talked to Lamont White of Better Way to Meet for my YouTube channel and he told me it's okay to be single. So blame him when I say, "F*ck y'all's Valentines". #SorryNotSorry
I thought I was going to brunch, but I learned what my type is, how I want that nigga to treat me, and why my sister is not the be f*cked with. I need another mimosa...
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You ever wanted to holler at somebody, but his resting bitch face put you off? That was me until I got this big lesson
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In this episode, I talk about the time someone slid in my DMs but didn't want nothing. This dating life is frustrating.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about Joe. Joe wanted to "check the vibe" with me. I guess the vibe I was giving isn't what he intended. His bad...
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about how a 5-minute conversation with my cousin totally changed my approach to dating.
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http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about a couple simple words can change another Black gay man's day.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I want to unpack a new definition of cheating, specialized for Black gay foolishness.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about my grandmama's whooping with a switch can help us all through our dating lives.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about how dating Geminis who I thought were fcked, only revealed my own fcked-upness.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about how a trip to the hospital drastically changed how I see friendships, family, and relationships.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about why I've been insecure, and how, this birthday, I'm deciding to overcome it.
http://www.fullyvers.com
Theme music by The Passion HIFI
In this episode, I talk about how it's okay--actually, important--to get excited about the guy who slid in your DMs, even if it doesn't pan out the way you'd hoped.