What’s’n Yer Pocket?: Recent Episodes
Jaguel And sons
It’s just us, two friends who moderately enjoy talking to each other, answering “what If...?” questions. We will grab your mind, take your ears and care for both with the tender love of a grandpapa pocket elf.
I never really participated in specific sports or anything, but once I hit 40, I started to get a little bit more active and began swimming more. -Shigeru Miyamoto
TOPICS: What if you had to do a wisdom tooth removal, bullet removal or breast implant? // What if you were invited to a real life murder mystery party and told to commit real murders or your family would die? // What if Joaquin, Jaku, and Miguel were a thrupple and co-parented 2 little girls?
SNEAK PEEK: "I only shop on Wednesdays" // "you wouldn't understand unless you were born aquatically" // "hair and hands are the same things" // "they are gonna be bullied hard with your fat little amazon feet" / "smith wisnlow whos dad is smith johnson"
Send us more "what if" questions!
EMAIL: whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
Intro and Outro done by SUNNEY
Pull the hair on my head the wrong way, and I would be on my knees begging for mercy. I have very sensitive follicles. - Benedict Cumberbatch
TOPICS: What if we were at the mall shopping? // Ashlyn AKA Guadalupe asks... What if you had to rename the clouds? // What if your spouse had an otherworldly and unexplainable impulse to disappear?
SNEAK PEEK:
"Ape-us Eroticus" // "Hummus Protectus!" // "Falcon Falkon With a K Lightning." // "Sufficancer." // "Guppies!" // "The Summer She Wasn't." // "People fall asleep skydiving all the time!"
Send us more "What if?" Questions!
Email: Whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
Intro and outro music by SUNNEY
"The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself." - Mark Zhugerberg
TOPICS: What if you had to do your podcast without saying "what" or "if"?
What if your spouse turned into a megaton? // What if Miguel didn’t exist and Jaku was just, purposefully, making up a second voice for Miguel for the sake of the podcast to make people think he had a cohost? Or what if Miguel was real at one point but between episode 2 and 3 Jaku murdered Miguel in a crime of passion but now feels remorse and doesn’t want to get caught, so he’s been pretending to do Miguel’s voice so he doesn’t get caught?
"The writer is the engineer of the Human soul.” - Joseph Stalin
TOPICS: What if God told you the next that you pursue will be a success? // What if someone you worked for confessed their love to you? // What if it was illegal to buy meat you didn't hunt yourself?
SNEAK PEEK: "Can you stop being so miserable it's annoying me so bad." // "If he was going to confess his love for me he would do it like a gentleman" // "I do not trademark that for myself." // "I'll look over the way you are being really bad to me." // "I Know you're disgusted when you look at me but I love you anyways."
send us more "what if" questions!!!
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Intro and outro done by SUNNEY
"Tell the children the truth." -Bob Marley
TOPICS: What if Megalodon was still alive? // What if everyone said your house was haunted, but you saw anything paranormal? // What dogs went extinct?
SNEAK PEEK:"It's like Moby Dick but every weekend." // "Megalodon in its natural habitat." // "Kellogg's....better than masturbation." // "Elephant Play-Doh." // "your mom was being a bully...but you were pretty stupid."
Intro summited by Kim Tea
Send us more "what if" questions!!!
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Intro and outro done by SUNNEY
"I've committed to surfing the rest of my life." -Lance Armstrong
TOPICS: What if you saw someone riding your stolen bike?
SNEAK PEEK: "I listen to a podcast as a mental supplement." \ "Just maim you, nothing drastic." \ "The new Porsche, OCTOPORSCHE, it has eight wheels." \ "Don't throw your pigs in pearls,they can't swim in them." \ "I shave my earlobes for heat."
Send us more "What if" questions at whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
Intro & Outro done by SUNNEY
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." - Albert Einstein
TOPICS: What if you were tasked with writing all of the children's books for the next generation? \ What if you were tasked with writing the plots for the next biggest hit sit com?
SNEAK PEEK: "Young boy of thirty years old." \ "Kermit frog is way more important than women's rights!" \ "is that what truama is? Just preparing for therapy." \ "I'm the Anti-vigilante, I break laws and fight cops." \ "You ever sniffed diesel?' \ "Lintel, your bride." \ "HipHop is honestly a dying art form."
send us "what if" questions at whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
intro done by "SUNNEY"
"We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm." - Winston Churchill
TOPICS: What if while on a road trip you stay in a town which has a local news station that tells news of a reality very different from your own? // What if you are stuck on a flight for 12 hours, sitting next to...(Ex? First crush? Someone you're convinced is an alien?)
SNEAK PEEK: "I haven't seen anyone for 8 hours..." // "I would worship Winston Churchill if he glowed!" // "He's Tricking the Rebloblicans into being vegetarians." // "If I put you on a fence, would you leave me?"
Email us more "What if?" Questions!
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"I respect all grandpas around the world doin' it big." - Machine Gun Kelly
TOPICS: What if you discovered you were a robot? // What if we became famous scientists with enough sponsorship and grant money to perform any experiment we wanted?
SNEAK PEEK: "Grandpas Doing it everywhere all the time." // "You're just a need be robot trying to make his way in the world." // "I tried to get a PhD in milk biology to save the sick cows!!" // "I cut my hand off You thought I was bluffing huh mom!?" // "Power straight out of your eyebrows." // "He doesn't know where I keep my special spoon!"
Email Us more "What if?" Questions!
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"Why can't I just eat my waffle?" -Barack Obama
TOPICS: What if you got knocked unconscious and an old man brought you home? // What if someone bet you one thousand dollars to take someone out on the most awkward date ever? // What if money was time? // What if we used fighters instead of lawyers to represent people in court?
SNEAK PEEK: "We went Funeral Hopping!" // "We play Wii tennis until on or both of us is saved!" // "Then it doesn't matter if they have their hands tied behind their back because you have a good lawyer!" // "We do that youth thing and we mama bird it!
Emails Us "What If?" Questions at:
Whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
"My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." - Mike Myers
TOPICS: What if you were the number 1 fan of a podcast but the people who made the podcast didn't appreciate you? // What if your podcast love wasn't reciprocated? // What if you woke up and the world was run by all cats, lions and kittens alike? // What if you woke up a completely different ethnicity? // What if your favorite podcast low key hated your guts and didn't think your listening was good enough?
SNEAK PEEK: "My brain is like a rabbit, always multiplying and you can't catch it." // "I'm sorry, you said Hard-boiled egg and i heard testicle." // "The point of your pelvis is to make love." // "I don't have the curse of God when i take my shirt off." // "The weebs in california will flock to their homeland." // "you could Forrest Gump it."
Send us more what if questions!
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Intro and outro done by SUNNEY
"Let me be the first to tell you, drinking alcohol is the worst thing to do in cold weather. Hot soup is the best because the process of digesting food helps to warm you up." - Morgan FreemanTOPICS: What if you were born with an arch nemesis? // What if you and a friend were seeing if you could fit in a washing machine, but you got stuck inside and your friend left you there? // What if we were master hackers?SNEAK PEEK: "Racist twins, the worst kind of racists." // " Two in a million." // " Romeo and Julian. // I can make myself so tiny!" // "I have so much punching space!" // " Tricked a stranger into going into a washing machine." // "Stockholm syndrome for a washing machine." // " I have no loved ones but 13 diamonds."Send us more "what-if" questions!whatsnyerpocket@gmail.comIntro Club Music Source: We Need a Beat 2020 ★ Club Edit by Akira Sora is licensed under a Attribution 4.0 International License.
“If anything is certain, it is that I myself am not a Marxist.
[In a letter about the peculiar 'Marxism' which arose in France 1882]”
― Karl Marx
TOPICS: What if we were in Monsters INC. What would our monsters be like? // What if you were picked to replace a host in a TV Show, Which show would hope to be swapped into // What if we were the architects of heaven and hell?
SNEAK PEEK: "A handshake that could birth a nation." // "I play with the devil's critters." // "The worst thing walking out of my closet... a redneck." // "Direct agression." // "You get to die again, it's the best part about life!" // "Dogs are alligators with legs." // "I tried kissing a girl that was below 5 feet and it was the worst.
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"The only animals I'm not comfortable with are parrots, but I'm learning as I go. I'm getting better and better at 'em. I really am." - Steve Irwin
TOPICS: What if we were rival boy scout leaders together? // What if we had to start a new social media app?
SNEAK PEEK: "Mind catnip." // "Stabbed by a bee." // "Sting you with poison." // "Predators eat whole grains." // "My children are dead." // "Omg JAKU, i mean DAD!" // "We are the Preds, we eat breads!"
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"I never saw so many tonsils in all my life!" - Mario Mario
TOPICS: What if you could have any item fictional or not but you had to send a person to the backrooms? // What if we were on the same dating show?
SNEAK PEEK: "It's like a donut of hair." // "It's like purgatory but better but scary." // "Like an indentured friend!" // "Daddy ring bearer?" // "Humans, they have glands everywhere." // "Double nutrients."
Email us more "What if?" questions!
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"Anyone can be a Superman, but nobody can be Jackie Chan." - Jackie Chan
TOPICS: What if you were an item on a diner table, which would you be? // What if you were the next Doctor in Dr. Who?
SNEAK PEEK: "It's like the Gucci of soap bars!" // "I didn't like the juicy part of soup." // "I tried my darndest!" // "This is like IKEA... there are no rules!"Email us more "What if?" questions!
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“Everyone makes mistakes, so why can’t you?” — Big Bird
TOPICS: What if you were framed for a crime, couldn't prove your innocence, and had to go on the run?! // What if only one person in your family u it could talk? // What if you had to work at a job you had no experience with?
SNEAK PEEK: "Long Overly sexualized neck!" // "Everyone knows you flee to the east!" // "Did you say cheese?! Then I kill myself." // "U can't make cheese in prison."
Email Us:
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"I am a romantic person and maybe have this Hollywood perception of love... but then, it's never really like the movies." - Markus Persson
TOPICS: What if you had to get banned from a store within a week to win a bet? // What if you woke up from a 10-year coma? // What if you had or re-had a wedding, how would you plan it?
SNEAK PEEK: "They probably accept nudists." // "So many other ways besides nudity!" // "Used your little sister as a drug mule." // "You set yourself up to be dumb." // "Family-style skittles!" // "Naked in the middle of the park but with headlights on." // "I don't know a lot, but I know Utah is going to die soon." // "Sexiest thing next to sex." // "Loved ones in a hot air balloon." // "Antiflamitory."
Email Us more Questions!
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"You Could Lose Your Hand, You Could Lose Your Foot. You Could Lose Your Hand Getting It Off Your Foot! I Don’t Like Sea Urchins.” - Taylor Swift
TOPICS: What if we didn't use money? // What if children could be traded? // What if you found a tunnel in your house?
SNEAK PEEK: "Soft labor." // "Ocean Erotica" // "If I wear really tight pants, I'm the most confident man in the world!" // "Chunky Lingerie" // "I have nothing to give." // "Cleopatra's wig" // "Bicycle, Bison and a Bride." // "Piss 'n Go Stick" // "Fat Jockies." // "one big party condo!"
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"I have an obsession with books about kids with Asperger's syndrome." - Donald Glover
TOPICS: What if eating made you older? // What if your family adopted someone the same age as you and started to forget about you? // What if you won a million dollars for kissing one specific person?
SNEAK PEEK: "Ramen and Tuna." // " I would be the uncle's wife!" // "Cooler is older!" // "Now add anorexic to that!" // "The lips that at least 100 people will try to kiss." // "You kiss way too fast, you would lose your money instantly.
Email us questions!
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"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein
TOPICS: What if we worked as plumbers and found an injured moose on a job in the middle of nowhere? // What if your neighbor asked you to build a secret treehouse with them? // What if hair couldn't be cut, just reallocated to a different spot on your body?
SNEAK PEEK: "We both can't read..." // "It's a freakin secret bro, of course, I'd tell you!" // "K-I-S-S-I-N-G in a Hanukkah tree." // "Have you ever thought about raising a baby?" // "Everybody wants thick thick shins!" // "Gosh darn it Texas is tropical." // "Even the elk are killing each other." // "I killed it with my body!"
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"Drones can be useful tools, and I am all about useful tools. One of my mottos is 'the right tool for the right job." - Martha Stewart
TOPICS:
What if someone came up to you and asked you to hold something and ran off, then another person came and asked you if you saw anybody pass by because they stole something? // What if you found a newspaper dated for tomorrow that tells of a horrible tragedy? // What would you do if someone asked you to watch their bike for a bit so that it didn't get stolen, after an hour they still haven't returned?
SNEAK PEEK:
"I wouldn't take a child from a stranger." // "If you moan the bullies will stop." // "I've always wanted to get one of those toothbrush things." // "Fuzzy Poops." // "If I cant see it its not real." // "Canada is as good as Narnia to me." // "I'm totally a peach kind of guy." // "Dimension Bomb!" // "Want to experience being choked out?"
EMAIL: Whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
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"Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters." - Mike Tyson
TOPICS: What if like Edward Scissor hands everyone had their own things on their hands? // What if addiction was celebrated?
SNEAK PEEK: "Thomas thumb tac thumbs." // "One ring to rule them all on my toe." // "Rock, paper, scissors gang." // "Ear hands, cuz that boy listens."
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.”
– Anonymous
“Caffeine- It maintains my sunny personality.”
– Anonymous
“Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!”
– Anonymous
“I put coffee in my coffee.”
– Anonymous
“When my blood runs black as the moonless night, and my heartbeat sounds as the Warriors march, only then may you say, I’ve had enough coffee.”
– Anonymous
THEME: Coffee Shop
TOPICS: What if you were in a coffee shop and you went to the bathroom and when you came back out and someone noticeably took your coffee to their table? // What if you were in a coffee shop and found a worker's headset in the bathroom? // What if you were in a coffee shop and you noticed you're an extra in a movie?
SNEAK PEEK: "You know what I like about your toes?" // "I'm grounded, but I have a little fun sometimes." // "I have horse meat in the fridge." // "Extra creamy so obviously its for Miguel." // "Dirty Charlie." // "So your saying homeschoolers are hippies?" // "I wanna be king too, can I be queen?" // "Chocolate burger." // "I want to go back to my roots, I want to take my underwear off."
"It will be a killer, and a chiller, and a thriller, when I get the gorilla in Manila." - Mohamad Ali
THEME: Coffee Shop
TOPICS: What if you where at a coffee shop and someone randomly came up and started giving you a massage? // What if you where in a coffee shop and you got a note in your coffee? // What if you where in a coffee shop and the barista asked for YOUR number this time?
SNEAK PEEK: "But then he dropped a bean on their face!" // "Can I have one black coffee extra cyanide?" // "You squeezed the piss right out of me!" // "I have a girl with a real job." // "Patience my dear?" // "Jennifer your like a little brother to me..." // "I'm as limber as an elf." // "Do you take nay cream or sugar? Cuz uh, I got allot of sugar to give."
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"We don't grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso.
TOPICS: What if it was the man who got pregnant? // What if the fall never happened?
SNEEK PEAK: "You where born in a tree house, your life is a mystery." // "Woman didn't know she was pregnant until she played monopoly." // "I'm thinking for two." // "You dont need empathy you have an umbilical cord." // "Mayhaps your making love." // "Know what I'm having for lunch? Cherries, Watermelon and the knowledge of good and evil.
Send Us Questions!
Email: Whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
“Mine eyes smell onions.” - Shakespeare (All’s Well That Ends Well [Act 5, Scene 3])
TOPICS: What if insects attacked you always? // What if all legends and myths were about your dad? // What if the cleaner you were the more sticky you were?
SNEAK PEEK: "I'm not taking my clothes off dog" // "My ears taste your voice." // "Alas a peasant." // "Every actor is a devote Christian" // "She wouldn't trust a ladybug to watch her kids." // "The pagans are praying are on you." // "Get ready to cut some wood with Buon Buon." // "Who cares about tumors if your jacked."
"I go without sleep, I just go hard." - Tom Cruise
TOPICS: What if you could choose one fictional character to come to life and become your best friend? // What if you could change anyone's appearance like in the game Sims? // What if running a red light was punishable by death?
SNEEK PEAK: "Jesus was a carp." // "Gonorrhea sounds allot different than Giardia." // " I have multiple skully oasis." // "Mattresses are like giant pillows." // "Is that a gay rights activist or is that an alcoholic?!"
EMAIL: whats'nyerpocket@gmail.com
Send us "What if?" questions! We will answer them!
"Music, not sex, got me aroused." - Marvin Gaye
What if a common way to get rid of your problems was to tie them to balloons and let them float away? // What if your parents invited you to a wedding, and it was your arranged marriage? // What if you had to go back in time and set your parents up otherwise you and your siblings would cease to exist?
"The brush was my first sexual interaction." // "I love touching clay more than more than I love touching women." // "Tie away, fly away." // "A 30lbs baby? That's an adult!"
"I've got to start eating at home more..." - Jeffrey Dahmer
TOPICS: What if you were watching your friend's cat, dog, parrot, grandparents or some other form of pet and they died? // What if you baked two sets of brownies, one of them has drugs in them, and you took the drugged brownies to a family event? // What if someone wrote a play about your life?
SNEAK PEAK: "My life as a mouth breather." // "I only bully the kids before they can talk." // "My brother aint no raisin no snitch." // "What if I get the CLEP?!" // "I believe in moderation everywhere." // "The CLEP Clan." // "Pablo Picasso meets a mime on the street."
EMAIL: whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
"They see me Rowlin' they hatin'" -J.K. Rowling
TOPICS: What if you were transformed into your favorite childhood toy? // What if you switched siblings with your best friend? // What if you all of a sudden sucked at the best thing you were good at?
SNEAK PEEK: "Free tattoos isn't always good bro..." // "There's always that one kid that puts you in his mouth." // "Farms dont belong in bathrooms." // "Do you know any children we could rent? " // "I need that sweet milk!" // "I'm best at getting pity."
EMAIL: whatnyerpocket@gmail.com
"Weirdness is not my game, I'm just a square boy from Wisconsin." - William Dafoe
TOPICS: What if you had start a school? // What if a 50 year old gentleman in a suit came up to you and asked for help finding his mom? // What if all of a sudden medicine did the opposite of what it was meant to do?
SNEAK PEAK: "Start with the type of punishment, then all the reasons to get punished." // "Like McDonalds that serves breakfast all day, but instead of breakfast its classes." // "Chains, Lack of food and some kind of emotional damage." // "Get on your hands and knees and ride me like a horse, were gonna find her!"
EMAIL: Whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
"I think Christians and Muslims should hug each other." - Chuck Norris
TOPICS: What if an angel that looked exactly like your celebrity crush came to you in your waking life every day just to hangout? // What if you had vivid visions every night that were about people you didn't know? // What if we joined a gang together? // What if after Queen Elizabeth died you where crowned King of England?
SNEAK PEEK: "Something with a belly button cant make love to something without a belly button." // "Is it wrong to have a crush on a rabbi?" // "Angel babies come from somewhere..." // "I wouldn't want to make eye contact with naked angel baby teenagers." // "Golden Defecation." // "If I'm thinking of a sea critter, I'm thinking of a sea anus."
EMAIL: whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
"I think Christians and Muslims should hug each other." - Chuck Norris
TOPICS: What if an angel that looked exactly like your celebrity crush came to you in your waking life every day just to hangout? // What if you had vivid visions every night that were about people you didn't know? // What if we joined a gang together? // What if after Queen Elizabeth died you where crowned King of England?
SNEAK PEAK: "I Wanna go with you snow papa." // "Living is a horror movie." // "The moose looks right at you and then starts twerking." // "I do want to make legless people dance." // "You'll be like the Michael Jackson on stilts."
EMAIL: whatsnyerpocket@gmail.com
"Seventh grade was the first time I dyed my hair, and I went to school with red and black stripes, so I looked like a zebra."- Jeffree Star
TOPICS: What if you looked out your apartment window, and notice your neighbor, a kind looking old man watering his flowers accidentally makes eye contact with you and wave at you, BUT you don't wave back? // What if the longer you kept something alive the more it mutated and evolved? // What if trees evolved to love meat? // What if we could curse for 15 seconds on this podcast?
SNEAK PEAK: "its like salt on the caramel, its delicious." // "Snail Killed My grandma." // "A little insecurity make the flavors go wild."
"Wail, you who live in the market district;
all your merchants will be wiped out,
all who trade with silver will be destroyed." - Zephaniah 1:11
TOPICS: What if it hurt to get wet?// What if after the age of 70 you had to respond to everything with advice and wisdom? // What if you found out your parents were compulsive liars? // What if whenever you fell over or sat down you needed someone else to help you get up?
SNEAK PEAK: "In the winter when the children are short." // "I've been pissed by Kisseidon." // "Did you know taking long showers is a symptom of shaken baby syndrome?" // Ima make decisions that don't make sense!" // "Who do you think would win, an old guy with a walker or an old guy with two canes?"
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“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?” - Yoda
TOPICS: What if you could have any animals trait? // What if you were painting an active insane asylum and you got mistaken for a patient? // What if you walked into a basement and people were worshipping a picture of you? // What if your best friend got bionic legs and beat you at every sport?
SNEAK PEAK: "I've never been a lover to a hedgehog." // "They cant tell me what to love!" // "I'm a sexy, I have to admit, but its creepy." // "Cripple yourself or kill him." // "Shiv the Sheriff." // "The crop top is so good it inspires worship." // "He might be better at running, but he's not better at being happy."
Send us Questions!
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“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates
TOPICS: What if you could have telekinetic power over one specific material? // What if when you lost any part of your body it began to grow into another independent human being? // What if you went to a dinner party and were placed at a kids table alone? // What if you could only use five words to convince someone to date you?
SNEAK PEAK: "Socrates the paraplegic." // "Its my flesh knot." // "Keto and Jesus, that's all I need?" // "'I'm touching you everywhere' - Love Air." // "Beef and cheese in a bowl." // "What if they paddle you?" // "Tree, avocado, playdough sex."
"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive." - Boris Johnson
TOPICS: What if we could invade people's dreams? // What if you had to take a test to move out of your parents house? // What if we got kidnapped?
SNEAK PEEK: "The horror on their faces makes me feel something." // "Just like the rings of a tree you can tell how old a woman is!" // " I didn't know Hebrews knew spells!" // "He cant reach the gas pedal but he knows how to drive." // "Zip ties on our mouths and duck tape on our wrists." // " Four more years of abuse and ill be there!"
"I'm a Christian - I really don't believe in UFOs." - Mr. T
TOPICS: What if Magic 8 Balls actually told the future? // What if you traded your free will for someone else's? // What if you created actual artificial intelligence accidentally?
SNEAK PEAK: "Celebrate the miracles of biology!" // "My sources say no!" // "Mesquite?! is That a drug?" // "Decisions to make me make decisions." // "Its like a cowboy made love to an abstract painting."
“I eat morons like you for breakfast. You’re gonna be crying before this is over.” - Judge Judy
TOPICS: What if eating someone's heart gave you their power? // What if you could mix 2 sports? // What if you could buy electronic body upgrades? // What if we could invade people's dreams? // What if you had to take a test to move out of your parents house? // What if we got kidnapped?
SNEAK PEAK: "Judy is the law." // "I go check the body and...munchie munchie munch" // "That's the flavor of your own must!" // "As long as they are strong they don't need to be happy!"
"White is actually one of my favorite colors. I have a white car. I love white" - Kim Kardashian
TOPICS: What if we were chosen to colonize mars? // What if all animals in the ocean evolved legs and left the ocean? // What if pants less Mondays were a thing? // What if as you age you turn into a balloon person and eventually you will float away to heaven unless someone shoots you down for your rubber organs?
SNEAK PEAK:"I cant handle the food, cuz of fecal matter?" // "I'm just a husk of power and loneliness?" // "Pulling your bits out is the opposite of conservative." // "thongs don't have a bad color." // "Zebra and a man, but were just the same me and you!"
“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick Star
TOPICS: What if all stuffed animals became alive? // What if Atlantis arose from the sea as a living thriving nation, and one of you, through the relation of the original king, became the NEW KING OF ATTTLAANNTISSS!?// What if all parents just started to kill their kids, including yours?
SNEAK PEAK: "Elmo but anorexic." // "I like gingers from a distance." // "Papa, you know I love bacon!" // " A plus in spin class." // "Take a teddy, make a bear."
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Winston Churchill
TOPICS: What if a hippie bites you, then you become a hippy? // What if cops could bite you to take you down? // What if the sound was as thick as water? // What if aliens were going to destroy the human race unless us two could convince them otherwise?
SNEAK PEAK: "He lost a hair for every life he saved." // " I could fight off your mom easy." // "Nothin better than a hippie by choice." // "That's the worst thing about getting pulled over... the sexual tension." // "Drown on your words." // "We love cows, were Hindu!" // "Bad people don't go to drive in movies!"
"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" - Phillip J. Fry
TOPICS: What if space was liquid and you could swim to other planets? // What if your belly button was a portal to the belly button of the last person you kissed? // What if you got an email from a Nigerian prince who needed to borrow $1000 to set him free and in exchange he'd give you half of his fortune? // What if you owned everything you peed on?
SNEAK PEAK:"That's all I need, just good vibes and liquor." // "That's allot of wood!" // "Poor people could get to space!" // "It makes me pee... but you know that."
"Where's the lamb sauce?" - Gordon Ramsey
TOPICS: What if you could taste whatever your soulmate was eating and that is how you find them? What if we started a cult, what would our rules and punishments be? What if we where all born as puppets and we had earn our boyhood? What if Jaku was a robot, and so was everyone else because Miguel made a fake world so he could have friends? What if Miguel married a squirrel but she's really sweet and nice and she makes pumpkin pie from scratch?
SNEAK PEAK: "You have a tongue in your heart.", "This hottie was eating a poptart.", "I would flavor blast her!", "We'll be together forever together with no other squirrels involved.", "You don't ask about the inner sanctum.", "I know its wrong... but I like it."
TOPICS: What if all your friends are famous but they haven't told you, because they don't want you to feel bad about not being famous? What if there was a prohibition on caffeine? What if your first kiss automatically made you unable to fall in love with anyone else? What if you where a tiny itty bitty boy, in a giants kitchen, who was about to eat you?
SNEAK PEEK: "Our pre-famous is musty.", "I saw my old self chasing me, you know...naked...", "Working at Starbucks is like WAY masculine now!", " You go into the kitchen to eat something and you r turkey killed itself.", "Tiny people wrestling", " Everyone wants a thicc butt, dude.", "'POISON' written on me in feces.", "You want wiggle, you don't want jiggle though."
"Ah music, a magic beyond all we do here." - Albus Dumbledore
TOPICS: What if, instead of cars, we invented mechanical horses? What if nobody had bones and the only way to stay human looking was to make your muscles strong, and if you don't you become a flabby skin fat sack that cant move? What if you fell down a pipe and met Princess Peach, and then she got kidnaped? What if when you started a video game you literally couldn't stop until the game was finished?
SNEEK PEAK: "Sugar is love in swallowing form.", "Romeo and Juliet except its Elon Musk slaves and horse robots.", "PTSD Homeschoolers.", "Never trust a turtle with your toe phalanges.", "He...he's dead... Okay well I brought the cantaloupe in!"
TOPICS: What if you can possibly told everyone you were on a diet? What if the magic from Harry Potter was real but only one of us got it? What if everyone got kicked out of their house when they turn 12? What if you were abducted by aliens?
SNEAK PEEK: Roidicans Diet - Steroids and Protein, "Sensei was my dad today", "The settler of Satan", "Muggle is not a slur", "Running away from a cow naked... there's nothing more exciting", "They've never probed a Peruvian.", "We're like the next Winston Churchills!"
Born again poet warriors, Sallies seashell shot gun, Rebecca, A professional establishment my dude
Canadian ding dong ditching, Weaned from the devil, Suckled from the rock, Bunnies breed like rabbits, The Komodo King, Daddy jelly, Super tantalizing doppelgangers.
Shart Purple, My dad's my twin, Raisin Baby, Honorable Vigor, The Bulk, Sucking jelly out of a bowling ball, Red collar, Abraham stealer, Smooshy and the 16 Commandments, I'll Kill you AKA blackmail, Suckle on his pores.
Celestial Dating show, Love is the worst crime, Scott free, Guardian Angel, Awkward miming, Competitive Chivalry.
Never tongue your hand and then touch an enemy, All the ghosts live on Mars, We're just going to be booming each other all the time, Mom's power of herbal and wormhole medicine, Apathetic extroverts.
Bear Gods, Human Milk, Oreeman, Ziplock bags of organ bacon, Spooning jargen, Drag Queen Bee, Yodeling is just gentle screaming
Sloths and bees are one in the same, Kermit the frog aka the common wench, I want you to be around my foot, Your skin is my exact size, Your such a cherry pop.
I'm a battle witch, If you like me that's a red flag, Gastral projection, They push my Willchair, Build me a sandwich, Jesus sign my baby, The blood of... Well his own blood, These boys are my favorite boys,
Miguel the Fairy, Suicide Dolphins, My Morning Hate Time, The Koala Killer, The Zookeeper... Not again, The worst surgeon ever, Love at first Incision.
No one should touch knees together, Suicide by makeout, Laugh at the ginger, Black hoodie Amish, Them knowing that you know that they know.
Anxious like a pinecone, NagmSuhm, Pop- n-Lock-it little boy, Impromptu yoga class, The gospel for a dollar, Mr.Dinkleman, 3...2... She licks her lips...1...Heart attack
Mr. And Mrs. Oxygen machines, that feta cheese attitude is so good, the James rebellion, GMOooh yummy, my 15 year body was ripe
What if I just look Japanese, “Muggle” means Gentile, It’s just hippie and cute, Romeo and his friend Chad, Boys dressed like men
Swimming is the apex of fear, there is no gravity underwater, the government is weighing our souls down, you just want to be mounted like a horse by Gandalf huh?
I'm dumb I'ma stab you, Im bald but I love spaghetti, Eternal life bro, Do cannibals define cannibalism, Don't get Picassoed, Vaughn Gough was a ginger, Dip dip into death.
Butthole time demon, Atnas saulc, sandals made of sand, If time was tangible you’d put it in soup, I see cadavers every Tuesday, Astronaut for fun.
I’m literally a chicken, what’s the point of non-magnetic birds, rabbi Jack Black, wed panda wink
I like to do stuff in the dark, Courting emo girls with pigeon sounds, I wish this tasted more homosapien, Cargo shorts and insecurities.
You don't call it a pet if it's dead, that's dinner! Welcome to Brooklyn, Bagel basket baby surprise, "Hi grandma!"Stab.
Beans are depression, Black market msg, Tsunami flavored feelings, Microwave Diamonds, Chocolate nether, Lava is invisible.
SOLVE FOR X SLAP, Leather pants for emergencies only, Us vs the sun's babies, pressure washer batting cage, The world is your batting cage.
Potato Goblins, The New Years Bird, Two pounds of skin, Death Sounds, Carrot finger manipulation, Eddy Carrot Fingers
When you make your face tight, Musical storytelling, Hard blinking is sad, Hunky bois for helpless goys
A diligent man child, Stupid Stewart Little, Strawberry baby head, Gothic gardeners, My crushes shrine.
Pocket dwellers, Darth maul's HAND, Basketball vandalism, Toes touching death, Fist fight your crush, Pill racing with Michael J. Fox, Dude that's my mug.
Roof…floof, Hey no purpling, Baby hitlers goatee, My seven babies, Dude where’s my spudunkadunker,
Suffocation by plunger, Heroin because I'm tired, Lonely police officer, Dog walking... is definitely illegal
Charming pecs, High on life...and cocain, Inhabit me Elon, 600lbs of "strength", Cocain Sea Urchin, Wrestling yourself naked.
"Our Father who art in the kitchen hallowed be my name...", Don't touch my Jiminy! , Rub that vase, Good Christian Boy.
Getting Swole in a second, grass slurping snakes, mental make out, Private PDA. Hitchcock: walks into kitchen. egg: existing Hitchcock: Anxiety
Loving MRI, Can you give me the talk son?, Cultural Inappropriation, Cowboys Indians and Immigrants, Jericho: a real boy
Two way mirror, Unintended Facetime... with strangers... in the bathroom, Self inflicted stealth, 3 hours of sleep to live a dream, 7 foot snowman, Homeless adventure dream boy, Mud man ceremony with Sisters, Dream Jobs SUCK.
Unfinished sentences, frisky switches, pee pee time talk, the CEO hole, and Other delicacies.
Fat Cat King, Cat sacrifice, S-Ray Vision (selfish), GOOD JOB ELON! Window Art Window, Cow Holes...
Nude assault, candy surprise, best friend comeback, colourful men, gun arm, swapsies, and fun facts.
Just some of the deep topics we touch on... Harry Potter and the cup of dirt, The Secret Life of Me, An overconfident twelve year old, A sentient toaster that is also me.’
Answerin those good ol “what if...?” Questions. Talking points: Fingygmunchin geese, TRANSFORM...bicycle, Third wheeling Adam and Eve, social acceptable deification, ever so comforting background music, Cold cuddle buddy.
Two friends giving it a go at podcasting, listen to them figure out how to talk all over again, and feel out the idea they had, to answer what if questions.