The Dusty Shelves: Recent Episodes
The Dusty Shelves
Reading books that aren't good, but aren't as bad as you'd expect! (Although sometimes... they are just bad.)
Annnd we're back after an impromptu hiatus! In this episode we cover chapter 11 of Warriors: Into the Wild by Erin Hunter. We discuss how cult-like the clans really are, Bailey tries to defend Tigerclaw, and we ramble... a lot.
Welcome back, we're reading chapters 9-10 of Warriors: Into The Wild by Erin Hunter! This week Ex and Keyri learn about the unfortunate prevalence of weird age gaps between characters in these books, Yellowfang says ominous things without elaborating, and Tigerclaw is acting suspicious but I'm sure it's fine!
Welcome back! We're reading chapters 7-8 of Warriors: Into The Wild by Erin Hunter. This week we finally start getting introduced to the meat of the plot via Firepaw starting a fight with an injured old woman, we talk about cupcakke for quite a long time, and Braden kicks down the door while we're recording in order to defend Bailey's brother.
It's the first episode where we've had to use the "explicit" tag, folks, and we are for sure having fun with it! Keyri and Bailey read a "romantic" creepypasta, Bailey reads an unrealistic WikiHow article, and Ex, Keyri, and Bailey collectively read a fanfiction about Flo from Progressive and the Geico Gecko. This is uhh... this one got very weird. We would prefer it if members of our family pretend this episode does not exist, for all of our sakes.
We're back with chapters 5-6 of Warriors: Into The Wild! This week the plot pacing takes a dramatic shift from "Here is every character you need to know introduced in just three pages, I hope you remember all these names" to "Literally nothing is happening right now." And our conversation takes a sudden and unexplained shift to Super Mario characters and Euphoria. Let it never be said that our thought processes are linear.
Welcome back to our coverage of Warriors: Into The Wild chapters 3-4. In this episode listen as Keyri and Ex spiral further and further into confusion as Bailey desperately tries to explain the government hierarchies, religious practices, and naming conventions of these feral cats who live in the woods.
Get a behind the scenes look at what a conversation with us is like, jumping from ostrich fighting, to selective breeding of magic reindeer, to the measurement of the power of Christmas Magic. Our conversations are never linear.
(Credit to My Brother My Brother And Me for bringing the "How To Survive An Ostrich Encounter" WikiHow article to our attention.)
Hello! We're back, this time covering the prologue-chapter 2 of Warriors: Into The Wild, the book Bailey has been waiting on the edge of her seat to get to. This week Bailey infodumps as much as she can about what she remembers about the Warriors series, we cover the cat world of violence, religion, and government hierarchies, Ex worries that Walter might want to run away and live in the woods, and Keyri is on cold medicine which brings a new and exciting energy to the episode! Also, thanks to finally being able to record everyone's audio separately, nearly all the crosstalk has been eliminated and this is the cleanest sounding episode we've ever had!
Due to the school shooting yesterday in Michigan, and the graphic nature of the fictional school shooting in this book, we will not be continuing our read through of Stones to Abigail by Onision. We were no longer having fun with it and we want this podcast to be both a fun and safe space for our listeners. We'll be back on schedule next week with a new book!
We’re back with chapters 5-6 of Stones to Abigail by Onision. In these chapters so little happens that we have almost nothing to talk about, but we still somehow manage to tangent in every direction you can think of. In this episode we cut a bizarre section of dialogue that you will never learn the context for, Keyri flirts with Bailey as per usual, Onision continues to give us ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the way of character descriptions, and in the absence of any sort of substance from the book we go on a tangent that leads us to a… questionable google search.
Donate to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence athttps://ncadv.org/donate
Keyri and Bailey channel their inner annoying high school choir kids, much to Ex's confusion. They obnoxiously sing off key, Ex still manages to bring it around to Grey's Anatomy, and then they discuss some... not so great implications in the songs they had to sing back in high school... Yeah there were some songs they just should not have had us sing.
This episode has... a weird energy. Chapters 3 and 4 of Stones to Abigail by Onision were only 5 pages long and yet we were still able to reach the one hour mark because we love to tangent. In this episode Ex diagrams a sentence, Keyri dunks on Greg/James' roller skates, and Bailey is told several times by Ex and Keyri that she has forgotten a plot point that was, in fact, explained in the book.
Trigger warning, for the last ten minutes or so we discuss domestic abuse. It isn't explicit but it is the central theme of the conversation.
Donate to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence athttps://ncadv.org/donate
Boo! Were you expecting a Halloween episode? Did you even want a Halloween episode? Too bad because we're reading a spooky story posted to r/nosleep! Join us as we delve into I've Become King Of The Swamp, a tale of swamp monsters, drugs, and murder.
Thank you to u/Blueskyfilled for allowing us to read your story!
Background music by GioeleFazzeri from Pixabay
And here we go, off to an interesting start with chapters 1-2 of Stones to Abigail by Onision. In this episode Greg can’t write, Bailey is spicy, Keyri and Bailey fight over earbuds, Ex’s inner English major emerges several times, and Braden makes a surprise guest appearance!
Donate to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at https://ncadv.org/donate
We're back just in time for spooky season with possibly the scariest book we could read: Stones to Abigail by Greg Daniel a.k.a. James Jackson a.k.a. the infamous Onision.
We're coming at you with another fanfiction episode! In this one, Bailey reads her Warrior Cat fanfiction written when she was 11, and Keyri brings us a chapter preceding the one she read on the last episode. As a bonus we also get an original story from Keyri, a very... interesting take on the Little Red Riding Hood tale. We'll be back to our regular schedule next week as we start up with our coverage of Stones to Abigail by the infamous Onision.
We've done it. We survived. After four months we're finally done with this godforsaken book. This week we cover chapter 22 and the epilogue of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. Ex talks about Littlest Pet Shop for a good few minutes, Darcy and Luke start out their new relationship in the most unhealthy of ways, the final installment of the Luke as a Jesus Metaphor comes to a shocking revelation, and we reveal the next book we're going to cover...
(Also a heads up, Bailey's mic sounds a little weird in places)
We did it! We’re back to being able to cover two chapters per episode! This episode we covered chapters 20-21 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. This week Darcy isn’t a snob, you guys, she promises, we make a discovery about the nature of our friendship, the timeline still doesn’t make much sense, and somehow all this conflict is being introduced just one chapter from the end of the book.
We’re back with chapter 19 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. Once again, we only manage to get through one chapter because so little and yet so much is happening. In this episode we talk about animal crossing and horrible high school choir experiences for a looong time, Darcy starts to think that maybe she doesn’t actually want to be with Luke (3 chapters away from the end of the book), Melissa also seems to be losing track of the timeline of what she’s written, and this book has literally given Ex a nightmare.
We’re back with chapter 18 or P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz! This week Darcy has the longest day in all of history, we continue our red stringing trying to figure out the timeline, Bailey questions the theological implications of Luke being engaged to Charlotte, Melissa tears Santa Clause a new one, and Emily talks about Animal Crossing for a loooong time (but we love them for it.)
Due to scheduling issues, we weren't able to record a full episode this week, but never fear! Keyri and Bailey are here to share their writing from their younger years, so come join them in their embarassment!
This week we cover chapter 17 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. Both Darcy and Bailey serve as cautionary tales to stay hydrated, Darcy’s dad still sucks, Keyri teaches us about business, and Emily teaches us about Gray’s Anatomy… so spoiler warning for Gray’s Anatomy we guess?
We once again have lost the plot as we cover chapter 16 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. This week Darcy’s string of bad decisions continues, only this time she is rewarded by the narrative, the timeline is confused once more, we get more than a little carried away with the Jesus metaphor, and Keyri tells a joke that nearly kills Bailey.
This week we only cover chapter 15 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz because we were all in the same room together and went on several tangents. Said tangents involve cats, birds, and Taylor Swift. In this chapter Darcy continues to shove her rich privilege in everyone's face, Millie is definitely gay, and Carl finally gets Darcy to admit to having feelings for Luke.
Another review of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz, this one coming to us from Jennifer on GoodReads! Jennifer was given a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review, and boy did she give one!
Keyri's on vacation, but luckily we've been saving up some clips that we thought would come in handy and we're bringing you our second blooper reel! Be on the lookout Wednesday for another episode of The Dusty Shelves: After Hours where we read another review of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz.
Welcome back! This week we’re covering chapters 13 and 14 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. In this episode Keyri reveals she used to write her own version of Tina Belcher Friend Fiction, Bailey reveals her history as a former Warrior Cat girl, Darcy’s family sees nothing wrong with her getting engaged to a man she supposedly hasn’t spoken to in eight years, Edward is the only person in this book with common sense, Darcy continues making the worst decisions humanly possible, and Luke telling Darcy off is just as satisfying here as it is in the original P&P.
Keyri and Bailey recorded this episode in the same room together, bringing an entirely new energy while covering chapters 11 & 12 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. In this episode we do even more egg math that has nothing to do with the plot, Darcy fixes her fck up and then proceeds to make an even bigger fck up within the hour, we delve deeper into the Luke as Jesus metaphor, Melissa’s beef with The Twelve Days of Christmas returns, and we turn into a YouTube drama channel.
And the 3 am sleepover energy continues with part 2 of this week’s episode and we have completely lost the plot. Join us as we cover chapter 10 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz. Ex theorizes that Luke is Jesus, Keyri tells a joke that nearly kills Bailey and Ex, a yearbook causes Bailey to snap, Darcy unjustifiably attacks the Gilmore Girls, we realize an unfortunate truth about Charlotte’s Web, and Darcy’s mom is f*cking insane.
And we’re back with just chapter 9 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz… look we don’t know what happened with this one, there was so little happening in these chapters that we just sort of… lost it? A little bit? It has big 3 am at a sleepover energy despite the fact that we only recorded this at 7 pm. So join us this week with a two part episode separating chapters 9 and 10. In this episode Keyri made up a word that was supposed to be “ostentatious” and had me replace every time we all said it wrong, we argue about popsicles for a while, Darcy f*cks up Bingley’s relationship, there’s a weird Disney Channel movie montage, more alcohol, and… Luke? Luke, what are you doing? Oh my god…
Heads up that Ex’s audio does gets fixed 20 minutes in!
We’re coming back to you this week with chapters 7-8 of P&P&M by Melissa de la Cruz! This one gets kinda rough, my dudes, a lot is happening! This week Bingley and Jim are already in a healthier relationship than anything we’ll ever see with Darcy and Luke, Melissa reveals that she doesn’t know much about hedge funds or teenagers and she has some serious beef with The Twelve Days Of Christmas, Keyri teaches us eggnog math against our will, and Emily finally loses it over said eggnog.
Heads up, at the 48:43-55:12 mark, we discuss implied assault and consent, although said implied assault does not actually occur in the book. If this is something you’re not in a healthy mental space to listen to, it might be best to skip that time stamp.
Welcome back to your regularly scheduled program! This week we jump right back into it with chapters 5-6 of Pride and Prejudice and Mistletoe by Melissa de la Cruz. Darcy is horny, Luke is a Manly Man™, and Carl... is here.
There was a storm in our area that caused some pretty long lags in our remote recording software. We tried for as long as we could to get everything to line up, but unfortunately were unable to. Luckily, though, it led to some pretty funny interactions, so enjoy these bloopers of us gradually losing our minds. (This all occured over the course of 40 very difficult minutes.)
Due to technical difficulties, we weren't able to record a full episode, but we did manage to record our new segment: After Hours! A new series of mini episodes where we read reviews of the books we are currently reading!
Today we cover chapters 3-4 of Pride and Prejudice and Mistletoe by Melissa de la Cruz. In this episode Darcy drinks her way through a party, Melissa finally tries to set up a timeline (unfortunately it makes absolutely zero sense), we talk about eighth graders and weed for a solid ten minutes, and Melissa de la Cruz says "gay rights!"
Today we cover chapters 1-2 of Pride and Prejudice and Misteltoe by Melissa de la Cruz, a genderbent, modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice set at Christmas time! Darcy Fitzwilliam experiences the culture shock of coming from her rich life in NYC to... an equally rich life in her family's mansion in Ohio?
We are the Dusty Shelves Podcast! A book club podcast breaking down books that aren't good, but maybe aren't as bad as people say. Join us every Monday on Spotify, GooglePodcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Pocket Casts, and Radio Public!