No Regretz Marriage : Recent Episodes
Johnny & Carla Morton
Do marriage right and it can be as close to heaven on earth as you can get. Do it wrong... let's just say it can be a little warmer. Thirty-eight plus years of marriage, losing our firstborn after successful heart surgery, and just not being ready for all the challenges that marriage brought have given us a passion for helping couples forge a marriage that can flourish in all seasons. Join us as we share our heart, principles from God's Word, and tools and ideas to help you build a stronger marriage. We'll laugh together; maybe shed a few tears together, but most importantly, challenge and encourage you to trust that God can do a work in your marriage as he did in ours. Hopefully, a marriage with no regretz!
This week we celebrated our 41st anniversary. In this bonus podcast, we share someof what we learned in the 41 years. We started No Regretz Ministries with the hope of helping couples learn from our mistakes rather than their own. Thanks for being part of the journey!
Building your dream house begins with a design. Once the buider has a design, he begins the building project by following the design plan. Great marriages don't just happen. there needs to be intentionality to build a stong, healthy, God-honoring marriage. Join us as wetalk about Marriage by Design in today's podcast
The last few episodes have focused on building intimacy in your marriage. We talked about how important it was to feel "safe" with your spouse if you are going to build deep intimacy in your marriage. What happens though when the trust neccesary to create a safe space is broken? Whether it is a series of small breaches of trust or, it is a huge betrayal that leads to broken trust, you need to acknowledge the breach and begin the process of healing and reconciliation.
Intimacy is so important in building a strong marriage. It takes in tentionality to build that intimacy. You also need to beware the enemies of building that intimacy. What are those enemies? Fear, Selfishness, Pride, and Busyness can keep you from developing the intimacy needed for strong healthy marriages. Join us in this bonus podcast as we take a quick look at the enemies you might find yourself facing.
Lat week we talked about emotional and experiential intimacy. This week, we talk about two other types of intimacy we want to build in our marriages - spiritual and physical intimacy. Spiritual intimacy is something only Christian couples can experience, but it doesn't just happen because you are a believer. You have to be intentional about bulding it together. Physical intimacy is more than just sex, although that is a big part. How else can you enhance the physical intimacy in your relationships?
After our relationship to God, marriege should be our most intimate relationship. In relationships, there are different types of intimacy, all of them important to the health of your marriage. The first type of intimacy is probably what most people think of - emotional intimacy. Do you feel free to share all your emotions, feelings, dreams, and fears with your spouse? The second type of intimacy, experiential intimacy, can be a powerful part of building a strong, healthy marriage. Join us a swe look at both emotional and experiential intimcy today on the No Regretz Marriage podcast.
God designed marriage to be the most intimate human relationship we will experience. How can we build that intimate marrige? There are no shortcuts! As Dr John Van Epps tells us, it takes Talking, Time, and Togetherness to build intimacy in marriage.
If you are following along with our coup[e's devotional book, "From You & Me to We"", or if you are someone wanting to have a better marriage relationship, where do you start? We hav etalked about what God's plan for marrige is, but how do you start moving to the marriage relationship you want. On today's podcast we will tackle the question and give you some direction on where to go from where you are right now.
What is marriage to be about? Why did God create the relationship of marriage? Is marriage only about meeting our needs for companionship and love or is there a greater purpose for your marriage? Paul tells us about the great mystery of marriage in his letter to the Ephesians. Join us on today's No Regretz marriage podcast as we talk about the mystery and how that should impact our marriages.
One of God's key purposes for marriage is to raise godly generations. Our responsibilty is to model for our children a life that bring honor and glory to God. We need to train them to train up the next generation to do the same. This week's podcast is in meory of Larry Kemper, known as "Big" to his nine grandchildren. Listen as they share hwhat they learned from their parents and grandparents and how they are setting the stage for the next generation.
God uses His word to convict us of sin, to expose our desires, to reveal to us our character. When we enter into a relationship with Him, He promises to transform that chaacter to reflect Christ. One of God's great purposes ifor marriage is for marriage to be part of that transformation process. My selfishness, my pride, my need for God to change me became so evident when I got married. He taught me how to love like Jesus loved. He continues that transformation process today.
The book of Hebrews tells us that the Bible is like a double edged sword. You can compare marriage to a double edged sword in that there are two key aspects to marriage. One is the joy of a relationship created by God that gives you a companion to go through life with. A partner to complement, encourage, and support you. There is also the other edge of marriage that will will cover in next weeks podcast.
Before the fall of man in nthe garden, Adam & Eve had a perfect relationship with God and each other. Adam & Eve's disobedience broke those relationships. How has that brokenes impacted marriage?
Genesis chapter 1 tells us that God created humans in his image. Humans have certain qualities that separate them from the rest of creation because we are created in God's image. How does the fact that we are all created in God's image impact the relationship of marriage? Join us as we discuss that impact.
This week begins a year of podcasts that will coordinate with our couples' devotion al book "From You & Me to We." Each week our podcasts will flow with that week's devotional. This week we talk about the why. Why did we get married? Why did we start No Regretz Marriage. Why did we write the devotional book. These are our whys. What's yours?
Last week we talked about what women want in marriage with the acronym C.H.A.S.E. This week we talk about husbands want in a relationship. Using the acronym C.A.S.H. we talk about what men generally express as their greatest needs. Ladies, have you asked your husband what he wants?
What does a woman want from her husband in marriage? Join us today as we discuss how a husband can C.H.A.S.E. his wife.
We were created with a desire to be known and loved. When it comes to marriage, knowing how to love your spouse well is key. But, do you know how you want to be loved? Have you told your spouse? Have you communicated your desires in such a way that your spouse understands what you want? Join us on the No Regretz marriage podcast today. Please hit the like button and be sure to subscribe so you won't miss an episode.
We believe that God's plan is that we complement each other as a married couple. God has given each of us strenths and areas that we are less strong. Most people call those areas of diminished strength - weaknesses. While we need to acknowledge those areas we are weaker, we believe that we should focus more on the strengths each brings to the marriage. As each of you lean into your strengths and walk in oneness, God can do incredible things with you and your marriage.
Emotions are one of God's great gifts to us. Emotions are a big part of our humanity. We have to be careful though that we are not controlled by our emotions. As belivers, we are to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. We are to make decisions based on the principles of scripture. If we let our emotions control us and our decisions, they may lead us to place God never intended for us to be.
In the world of movies, books, and reality TV, one of the enduring relational themes is the search for your soulmate. If only this relational myth stayed in the world of fiction. The idea that there is one special person that will complete you and fulfill your every need sounds romantic, but it's not true. There is not just one person, your soulmate, for you to marry that will can you can find ultimate love and happiness with. God gives us commands and principles for us to follow and make a reasoned choice for a spouse. Once you marry that person, they do become your sole-mate. When you marry someone, God's desire is that person is now your one and only spouse for as long as you both shall live.
In the first part of our "When Loving Hurts" series, we talked about the pain of loving a spouse who does not love you back. Today, we look at a different kind of hurt. The pain of watching someone you love fade away to a debilitating disease. This is a love story about Robert and Margaret. This is the story of a husband who kept his vows of loving in times of "sickness and worse." It's the story of a man who cared for and loved his wife to the end because, sometimes, love hurts.
Wouldn't it be nice if the fairy tale "happily ever after" ending was true. That's not reality. Marriage is full of challneges and somtimes it hurts to love. There can be hurt from losing someone close to you. The hurt might come from watching someone you love suffer and waste away. Or sometimes, the hurt comes from loving someone who doesn't love you back. How can we love through the hurt?
We all come into marriage with certain expectations. Some are reasoable while others are unreasonable and maybe even irrational. It's those last types of expectations that can cause great stress, conflict, and wounding if you don't get a handle on them.
Join us for a great interview with Katie Kemper as we discuss the challenges of becoming part of a new family when you get married.
There are a number of mthys about marriage - "Marriage is About Making Me Happy," "The Key is to Find Your Soulmate," "I Married You, not Your Family." It's the last one we are tackling today. You can't escape the impact of family! It may be externally in relating to your families or, it can be the habits and tendencies you bring with you into the marriage that come from your family of origin. Embrace it and learn to work it for your good.
One of the most common issues we hear about from couples that we work with is the challenge of their relationship with thier parents and in-laws. How do you build a relationship with your parents when they struggle to let go? How do you build a relationship with your in-laws when you never get time together.? What are boundaries that need to exist in these adult-to-adult relationships that can keep them healthy. Today's podcast takes a look at some of the challenges parenst and their married adult children face.
Last week, we used Ruth and Boaz as an example of a legacy marriage. A legacy marriage is the first step in building a legacy family. We want to build both marriages and families that impact the world for God's glory for generations to come. Join us this week as we look at how to begin building an eternal legacy family.
An inheritance is the things you leave behind. An inheritance is something you build. Its good to leave behind an inheritance, but a legacy would be better. A legacy family begins with a legacy marriage. Join us we talk about building a legacy marriage looking at the relationship of Ruth and Boaz. This is the first of a two-part series on bulding an etrnal legacy family.
I think most people love the Spring. Whether it is a relief from the cold winter or the beauty of new growth in the trees and flowers, Spring is an awesome time of year. One of the things I don't like is spring clean-up outside. In the south we turn yellow woith pollen. Weeds seem to come back much quicker than the grass. It can be hard work to get everything ready for a season outdoors. Spring can also be a great time to do some clean-up with your marriage. Are you cleaning out the weeds? Do you have the right tools to grow your marriage? Are there problem areas that need to be addressed? Join us as we discuss how to get your marriage in a place to reap a summer harvest.
We are always looking for great tools to help couples build a better marriage. We are also continually learning and training so we can help couples and churches. One of the tools we are currently pursuing traing in is RAM - Relationship Attachment Model developed by Dr. John Van Epp. In this episode we discuss the basic concept of RAM and how you can apply them to your relationships.
Last week we had special guests Bruce & Toni Hebel talk about the importance of forgiveness. This week we will look at reconciliation after forgiveness. Reconciliation takes both forgiveness from the one who has been wounded and repentance from the one who has done the wounding. Both are necessary for reconciliation. Be sure to reach out to johnnymorton@noregretz.org with any questions.
Are you struggling to forgive someone who has hurt and wounded you. Forgiveness can bring healing to you and you marriage. Joining us today are Dr. Bruce and Toni Hebel with their powerful message of Forgiving Forward. You can exzperience the freedom of the Gospel through the power of forgiveness. Following the seven protocols of forgiveness will change your life and restore broken relationships if you choose to forgive. If you want to know more about Forgiving Forward, check out forgivingforward.com. You can reach out to us with your questions at www.noregretz.org
In the follow-up to last week's podcast on divorce, we discuss other aspects of the divorce issue. While God allows divorce in certain situations, we belive that he desire reconciliationof the marriage relationship. We don't believe that any relationship is beyond God's power to restore. In Christ, there is always hope!
No Regretz Ministries was founded to strengthen marriages. While we believe God never desires a divorce, there are times that scripture allows divorce and it no be a sin. Join us today as we look at the challnge of divorce. Is it ok for a Christian to divorce? If so, what are the situations in which it is allowable according to the Bible?
“An inheritance is something you leave behind. A legacy is something you forge.” This week on the No Regretz marriage podcast we discuss how to build a marriage and family that impacts generations to come. A kingdom legacy is a model of faith in God, evidenced by a primary pursuit of eternal treasures, revealed in a marriage that portrays the gospel and focuses on building Godly generations, setting a path to follow that impacts the world for the glory of God, from generation to generation.
It's not always the big events that can throw your marriage off course. Sometimes the perfect storm in a marriage is the accumulations of the small things that come together and create a storm of conflict. We just went through such a storm that came up out of nowhere. Maybe you can relate. Please excuse the recording quality as we are on remote location this week and next. Keep on forging!.
Last week, we talked about the need for churches to have a relationship ministry that supported married couples and prepared singles for marriage. This week we talk about what that might look like in a church. We love the term "Relationship Discipleship." It expresses the need for churches to train members in how to do relationships well.
In a recent survey of churches by Communio and the Barna group, research showed that 72% of churches have no meaningful marriage ministry to support married couples. (https://communio.org/free-state-of-marriage-report-from-communio-and-barna/) Relationship dsiscipleship focused on building strong, healthy marriages and educating singles on healthy dating relationships, is vital for the health of both marriages and the church in our country. In the first of two podcasts on this topic, we discuss the need for relationship discipleship in churches.
In past podcasts we have talked about how big rituals can help build your family and marriage. Holidays, birthdays, annual vacations, etc... are important parts of your marriage. What about daily habits and rituals? How can these everyday rituals build connection and intimacy in your marriage? join us on today's No Regretz Marriage podcast as we talk about how daily rituals can help forge a better marriage. .
We often talk about marriage being a challenging journey. In the ups and downs of life, the Bible tells us that it's better not to do it alone. Thgis is true for couples as well. We have been through some incredibly painful moments in our marriage journey. The burdens we carried were made easier by some precious couple friends. Do you have some couple friends that you can do life with? If not, how can you find and cultivate those relationships? Life and marriage are both better when you have others to share it with.
In this week's No Regretz Marriage podcast, we discuss the importance of validating your spouse. In a recent podcast on becoming a TEAM, we talked about how our responses to our spouse when they share an opinion, or feeling will either convey acceptance of rejection to their spouse. We do a deeper dive this week on the importance of conveying acceptance of your spiuse's thoughts, feelings, fears, and opinions if you want to grow into greater intimacy.
Why is it that after an emotional experience, whether it is a good one or a difficult one, couples seem to enter a period of friction and conflict. It's a time when everything your spouse does seems to rub you the wrong way. We have been there and done that. How can we keep thses times to a minimum. Join us this week on the No Regretz Marriage podcast. as we discuss this topic.
As we all begin a new year in our marriage and life journeys, the changing of one year to the next is a great time to pause, reflect, and refocus on our marriages. As you look back at 2023, what were the challenges and successes you experienced? What did you do well? Where are areas you can grow? It is a great time to review your marriage vision and make changes where needed. If you have never created a vision for your marriage, now is a great time to do so. How can you make 2024 the best year yet for your marriage?
When God created marriage, He declared that the "two shall becomeone." What God says is true about marriage takes intentionality to become the "we" In this final episode of a 4-part series, Johnny & Carla look at the ten signs that your marriage is becoming "one".
This week is part 3 of our 4-part series - Going From "You & Me" to "We." We talk about how communication and conflict play a part in the team building process. We will wrap up the series next week with the 10 signs that show you are becoming a "We."
How can you turn your marriage into a "We" instead of a "You & Me"? In part 2 of this series, we look at how to lverage your strengths and how your family of origin impacts the TEAM-building process. We hope you'll check out previous podcasts and be sure to send us any questions you may have to johnnymorton@noregretz..org
In Genesis 2, God said that he designed a man and a woman to be one in marriage. Carla and I spent the early years of our marriage living as a "you & me" and not a "we." In this first part of a series, we talk about the qualities of a "we" kind of marriage relationship. The qualities include: Commitment, Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Openness, Flexibility, Adapatability, Admiration, Support, Goodwill, Apreciation, Stamina, Determination, and Forgiveness.
One of the best times of the year, the season of Christmas, can also be on eof the most stressful. How can you thrive in the holidays.. Join us as we talk about how to make the holidays as smooth as possible and learn to thrive in the season.
Going through the holidays aren't always easy. How do you handle it when the Christmas season is a challenge? It could be the end of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, financial struggles, or maybe the first Christmas away from your family. Challenges come in many guises. How can you get through the season together and become stronger because of the challenge?
It's Thanksgiving week. We know that there are always things in our life to be grateful for,, but what about when we are in pain? Can we be thankful amidst the pain? In this week's No Regretz Marriage, Johnny has a conversation with Phil Anderson as they talk about the love of Phil's life, his wife Penny, her battles with cancer, and how God enabled them both to thank Him in the midst of suffering, pain, and heartache. This week's podcast is longer than usual, but I think it is worth it.
One of the more frequesnt questions we hear from people is "How do I know if we could use a marriage coach? In this podcast we run through ten questions to ask yourself and you spouse. How you answer these questions can help you decide if marriage coaching might be good for your marriage.
This week we take listenr questions: If a couple is struggling, is separation a good idea? As a young couple without children, how do we make friends with other couples? How did you first meet and what attracted you to each other? What scripture has guided you during this season of life?
Substance addiction is one of the toughest issues a married couple and family can face. Brad & Jodi Sappe's story is a testimony that with God's help, couples can overcome any challenge in their marriage. Join us for part 2 of our conversation with Brad & Jodi. . We pray that whatever struggles you may be facing in your marriage, you will find hope in this redemption story.
Join us for a powerful story of grace and hope as we talk with Brad and Jodi Sappe, founders of Cross Roads Recovery Ministries. Brad and Jodi share their story of heartache, fear, anger, frustration, hope, and love as their marriage struggled with challenges of Brad's addictions. It is ultimately a story of God's grace, love, and healing power. This is part one of a two-part conversation.
This week on No Regretz Marriage we tackle listener questions. These come from both write-in questions and from our recent marriage conference at Grace Church San Diego. Included are questions about ethical non-monogamy, conflicts in disciplining children, and advice for parents of teens.
In this weeks episode of the No Regretz Marriage podcast we speak with Lee Perkins, President and CEO of J.L. Perkins Wealth Management in Macon, Georgia. One of the big areas of conflict that couples often struggle with is money. Join us in our conversation with Lee as we talk about some of the issues couples face when it comes to their finances.
This week we turn the tables on Carla and she becomes the one who is interviewed.. After 40 years of marriage, this is the second of our two-part series reflecting back on 40 years of marriage. God forged our marriage through his fires and continues to mold us into his image. Come join us on the journey. Keep on forging.
Our 40th wedding anniversay is October 1st. This week, Johnny is in the hot seat as Carla asks him questions about those forty years. What does it take to stay together for forty years.? We call our ministry No Regretz, but we definitely have them. In part 2 next week, Carla gets her chance to reflect. Be sure to subscribe to No Regretz Marriage! Rate us if you have the chance and please share!
Sometimes, one of the biggest challenges to your marriage can be your career. Some careers such as ministry, coaching, the military, health care, and others can have an impact on your marriage because you spend so much time apart. Sometimes it can be working odd hours or opposite schedules. How do you balance your family and your career? How do you keep your marriage a priority? This week we welcome Wil & Babbs Fason to the No Regretz Marriage podcast as we consider some of these issues.
This week we go through some of our listener questions. How do you find the balance with kids, marriage? Why do you spell No Regretz with a "z"? What do you do when you feel like your spouse is just your roomate? These and other questions on the No Regretz marriage podcast. Please subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform.
Join us for our conversation with Lisa and Rick Moore in this second of a two-part series. God's grace is sufficient to see you through the trials of life and marriage. I know you'll be encouraged by Lisa and Rick's story.
In Isaiah 43:1-3, Go makes us a promise, "“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;" God doesn't promise an easy life or marriage, but he does promise to be with us ands sustain us throught the hard things. Join us for part 1 of our conversation with Rick & Lisa Moore as they share their powerful story.
As important as preparing for your wedding day is, preparing for your marriage is even more important. here are 10 key principles to consider before you say "I Do." If you are already married, this can be a great refresher course for your marriage.
This week we did an interview with a couple getting ready to get married in December. They happen to be our son Cole and his bride-to-be, Gemma. We'll talk about what they are doing to preprare for the wedding and thier new life together. We will have anothetr episode next week with some advice to those who are engaged or think they might want to be.
In the final episode of our in-depth look at the 5 Questions, we look at my wife's favorite question. Really! She will tell you that the last question on pursuing intimacy is her favorite. Our hope is that you will make asking each other the 5 Questions a weekly part of your marriage. It is a powerful way of being intentional and keeping your marriage a priority. As alsways, we invite your questions and comments. keep on forging!
As we continue the series of the 5 Questions, we take a deeper dive into questions 3 and 4. How can asking these questions help grow your marriage? Listen and see.
Intentionality in your marriage is something we try to ingrain in the couples we work with. One of the best tools we share with them is something we first read in a blog by Mike Mobley on beforethecross.com. We modified the 5 questions a little bit, but all credit to Mike Mobley. Asking these questions on a weely basis can do wonders for your marriage. We wanted to go into a little more depth on eac h of the 5 questions. The first of the series will look at at questions 1 & 2 of the teh 5 questions. We will look at the other 3 in upcoming podcasts. Thanks for listening!
Where is your safe place? Who are your safe people? Safe places and safe people, we all need them in our lives and for our marriages. We need places and people where we can share our hearts and be unveiled. Do you have those? Join us as we talk about the importance of having those places and people where you can find alistening ear and someone to speak the truth in love.
Carla and I are always talking about being intentional in your marriage. One of the best things we started doing years ago, is to read and discuss a book together. We would usually have a date night at a fast food restaurant and discuss the book one chapter at a time. As we have shared this idea at our seminars, people inevitably ask for some good books to read as a couple. On today's podcast, we share some of our favorite books. Some are on marriage, a few on raising children, and others on personal spiritual growth. If you have not read all of them, we hope you give them a try..
Have you ever gone to the beach expecting to spend the day playing in water only to be greeted by a double red flag? What does that double flag mean? Unfortunately, it means the water is off limits to you. Before you get bummed out, remember it's there for your protection. You could ignore the flags and go in anyway, but it may be a deadly choice. Wouldn't it be nice if all of life came with a set of flags to apprise you of the situation? There may not be official, but there are some warning flags when it comes to marriage. Ignoring those warning flags can be just as perilous for your marriage as ignoring the warnings flags at the beach can be for your health. Join Carla and I as we take a look at some of the warning flags in marriage.
You will often hear that the first five years of marriage are the hardest. Maybe that's why statistics tell us that more than 20% of marriages end within the first five years. Is therer anything you can do to lower the odds? Join us we have a conversation with Matt & Hannah McCommon who have recently celebrated their fifth wedding anniversay. Listen in as they share some of the prinicples that have allowed their marriage to thrive where so many are ready to call it quits.
Do you and your spouse still date each other? You should. Romance isn't the most important thing in a marriage, but continuing to pursue your spouse is one of the keys to a lasting and healthy marriage. I am amazed how many couples stop dating each other once they get married. Keep the romance alive by pursuing each other the way you did before you got married. In this episode, we look at some ideas for your next date. If you don't have a date night, or day, on the calendar for you and your spouse get it down today!
Acoording to study.com, In both the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, the sailors noticed that there was an area near the Equator where there was little or no wind. Without the wind to move their sail-powered boats, they would sometimes be stuck for days or weeks. They started calling these areas the doldrums. If you are not careful, you may find yourself stuck in the marriage doldrums. Things aren't terrible, but you seem to be stuck in the everyday routines. There is no excitement or passion to your marriage. You want more. Join us as we talk about the marriage doldrums and how to escape.
We recorded this podcast the week after Tim Keller died. I was talking to my son and he talked about how much Tim Keller's death affected him. As we talked I realized how much Tim Keller's voice was in my head. I thought of other voices that have shaped my life through the years. In the first part of this episode, we discuss some of the voices that impacted our lives. In the second half of today's podcast, we talk aboput how to distinguish and filter the voices in our head that can impact our marriages.
Why is it that something that should be fun, relaxing, and a great time of making memories can turn into a disaster filled with conflict. Don't let conflict and fighting ruin your vacation time. We have been there and it is no fun. Join us as we talk about some ways to help make vacations as conflict free as possible.
What's your money attitude? What does money mean to your spouse? Listen in as we talk about how to identify what your money attitudes may be and how to navigate them in your marriage. Understanding how your spouse thinks about money can be key to reducing conflicts about money.
Couples report that money and finances is one of the areas they most often have conflict. While a lot of conflict over money in marriage can be traced to poor habits when handling money, that's not the only aspect of money that can lead to conflict. An overlooked area is the attitude each of you may have towards money. How do you and your spouse feel and think about money. Is it the same? Do you know your spouse's money attitudes? We hope this podcast will lead you to some greta discussion with your spouse.
This episode marks the the end of our first year doing the No Regretz Marriage podcast. It has been an honor to share with you. We pray that God will use the podcast to challenge and encourage you in your marriage. As we think back on our first year, we look at what we think the pillars of a healthy Christian marriage are. Thses pillars can help create a strong foundation for your marriage.
Last week we challenged you to start communicating at the levels that build deep intimacy in your marriage. One of the keys to communicating at those levels is the need to feel safe and secure in what you share. This week we want to look at some of the barriers that keep you from reaching those deeper levels. Are you guilty of of some of the barriers? Let's remove the barriers that can impact the feelings of safety and security needed for the higher levels of communication
We know that communication is one of the keys to building strong and healthy marriages. We also know that there are different levels of communication. One study suggested that the majority of married couples spend less than 20 minutes a week communicating at th levels that build deep intimacy.. How about you? Are you communicating at the levels that help you build a strong, healthy, and intimate marriage?
This is the third and final episode of Married Sex. What are some of the barriers couples face when it comes to physical intimacy in marriage. There can be emotional barriers that impact your sex life as well as situational and physical. Today's podcast will cover these barriers and how you can deal with them as a couple. Don't settle for anything less than the sex life God intends for you to have in your marriage.
One of the great gifts God gave us is sex, and the best sex is exzperienced in a committed marriage relationship. In part 2 of the Married Sex series we talk about why God created sex and a brief look at the Song of Songs (or Solomon), a paen to romantic and sexual love found in Scripture.
Sex - one of God's best gifts to us when we do it the right way, at the right time, in the right relationship. When we were teens they just told us don't. When we married, they just tell us "It's ok now." The problem is no one ever taught us how to talk about sex in a healthy way. We want to talk about sex. So for the next three episodes, we are going to talk about married sex,ecause that's the relationship God created sex for. We hope it will give you something to talk about.
We just returned from an incredible trip to the Holy Land. As we experienced the scriptures in a fresh way, God reminded us of some of the key principles for building a marriage that is strong, vibrant and honors God. Thanks for being part of the journey!
You may have heard the following sentment, "Opposites attract before marriage. Opposites attack after marriage." The areas your partner is different than you may seem novel and even fun before you say "I Do." Those same differences may drive you crazy after you are married. So how can you navigate the differences you have in conflict styles, peronality, love languages, etc. so that you build your marriage into a complimentary team.
We all do it. And when we do, it often leads to trouble. Assumptions can cause havoc in a marriage. We act on our assumptions and that can get us in trouble. What are some of the key areas that can create conflict in our marriage when we find ourselves acting on our assumptions? How can stop making assumptions that get us in trouble?
Marriage is designed for both partners to give all of themselves to the relationship. God did not call for us to have a 50/50 relationship. He calls each of us to to be fully commited and give our all. But what happens when one of the spouses just can't give everything to the relationship? Life has a way of sapping us and creating situations where we can't give our all. How should you handle things when your spouse needs more of you and can't give back in the same way.?
We are joined today by our son Kemper Morton and his wife, Dr. Haley Morton. They have been married jalmost four years and we talk about what are some things they have learned and whether they felt prepared for marriage. Join us for what was a lot of fun to record with them.
It's Valentine's Day and all over the world people are celebrating love and romance. While you can't build a marriage on romance, it sure is a fun part of a healthy marriage. Carla calls it "the cherry on top." Join us as we talk about how important romance is for a marriage and give a few tips on adding romance into your marriage.
Creating a vision for your marriage and settings goals to help reach that vision is a great thing to do for your marriage. but it's not always easy to make that happen. Join us as we talk about how you can reach your goals and build the marriage you want. We will giove you some tips and ideas that will help make that vision happen.
We haer all the time about building habits to live a healthier life. Get at least 8 hours of sleep. Exercise 5 days a week. Cut out sugar. All are great habits. What are some habits that can help you build a healthy marriage? Join us this week as we talk about 5 practices you can start doing, if you are not alraedy doing so, that help you move towards a stronger marriage.
When you look at the past 100 years, the technology advances are ioncredible. No area of our lives has not been impacted by the incredible changes we have seen. Marriage has also been impacted by the vast changes in technology. While many bemoan some of the changes in technology as creating a less personal interaction between people, I think they would also miis it if it went away. The key with technology is how we use it. It can be used for great good or great harm. Today we talk about how we can use it for good or harm in marriages. This is part 1 of a 2 part series.
They say that perception is reality. (Not sure who "they" are.) Perception may be somebody's reality, but it does not mean that someone's perception is truth. One of the big challenges in all relationships is the different perceptions people have and in marriage, those differing perceptions can lead to conflict. Understanding the other person's perceptions are important in buiding and maintaining healthy relationships. Good communication skills, as in so many aspects of marriage, is key when it comes to diverse perceptions.
Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" has sold millions of copies and gave us insights on how to express love to our spouses in a way they could receive it. Truity.com recently came out with an updated version of the seven styles of expressing love. Join us as we compare the two and hopefully learn how to better fill your spouse's love tank.
I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said "...the only thing certain is death and taxes." I would add one more certainty in life - change. Nothing in life stays the same. Some of the changes may be expected like a new baby or a new job, while others such as illness , death, or divorce can shatter your world when you least expect it. One thing certain for your marriage is that life won't stay the same. Join us as we talk about how you can prepare for both the expected and unexpected changes you will face in marriage.
Traditions are an important key to buiding community and a sense of family.. They bind us together in a way that is unique. Listen as we talk about how to use traditions to grow your marriage and family.
As we celebrate the Christmas season and the birth of Christ, how can the promises of advent impact our marriage? Jesus brings us the promise of hope and peace. What are they and how can we build our marriages around them?
It's the time of year when you hear "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" all over the place. What if you are not feeling merry or happy? How do you get through the season when your heart is broken? 19 years ago today, we lost our first-born when he was 18 years old following successful heart surgery. We were devastated. The Christmas season had always been a time of great joy for our family. How were going to make it through? WE hope you will join us as we share some of our journey. If we can help you in your struggles, pleas reach out to us at www.noregretz.org
The holiday season can be wonderful, but it also brings its own stressors. Join us as we talk about how to make the most of the holiday season as a couple and a family. We also talk about how do you navigate the season when dealing with a heavy heart.
As we wrap up the Seasons of Marriage series, let's talk about some of the tools that will help keep your marriage in the seasons of Spring and Summer. We often encourage couples to be intentional about growing their marriage and these are some of the best tools to help you do that. It is often the case that when we stop being intentional, the realationship begins to drift and we can find ourselves in the harder seasons of marriage.
If you have experienced deep hurt in your marriage, forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do. In this podcast we talk about what forgiveness is and why it is so important not just in the relationship of marriage, but in all the relationships of life. The bottom line is this, forgiveness is more for the benefit of the one forgiving than for the offender. We forgive because God has forgiven us. Forgiving those who hurt us brings great glory to God.
Winter has set in. The relationship has grown cold, possibly hostile. Communication has shut down and you may be thinking about giving up. Don't! Winter is hard, but there is hope for your marriage. Find that hope as we talk about the hardest season of marriage.
Part 3 of The Seasons of Marriage. While we would all love to stay in the Spring or Summer, in most marriages you will eventually hit a season of Fall. Things are changing. There is a cooling of the relationship. Look for the warning signs and deal with whatever the issues are before you find yourself in Winter.
Summer, the sweet spot of marriage. Summer is a time ofvibrancy and health in the marriage. The relationship is fruitfull and growing. Husband and wife are being intentional about keeping their relationship the priority. This a great time in marriage, but to stay here in summer, it takes work. You have to beware of things that can push the relationship towards fall. Intentionality is key!
Just as we experience the change of the seasons as each year progresses, marriage too has its seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter.The seasons are not about how long a couple has been married, but focuses on the characteristics of that season:
- The hopefulness of spring when new things are on the horizon, a time of excitement and anticipation.
- The vitality of summer when life is bustling. Often fast-paced when goals and dreams are coming to fruition.
- The transition of fall, often a time for reflection and recalibrating of life. A time to act before winter takes hold.
- The barrenness of winter. Dreams have died, relationships are cold and struggling, often a difficult season to navigate.
Happy Anniversary! Carla and I just celebrated 39 years of marriage. It has always been smooth, but I can honestly say that our relationship has never been better. Join us as we share some of the key principles that got us to 39 years.
Last week we looked at women's desires with C.H.A.S.E. This week we look at a man's desires in marriage with C.A.S.H. Do you know what your spouse's greatest desires in marriage are? Ask them and you may be surprised.
What are your wife's greatest desires from you as her husband? Research, both secualar and Christian based, shows that many women have similar desires. While every women and marriage is unique, today's podcast will hopefully give you some insights. This is a great podcast to listen to as a couple and then discuss together as you continue to forge a stronger marriage.
What are you doing on a consistent basis to grow your marriage? With the busy schedules families have these days, it's not always easy for couples to keep their relationship the priority it needs to be. One of the best tools we have found is "The 5 Questions." We first saw these in a blog post by Mike Mobley and we have incorp[orated them into our own marriage , our coaching and into many of our retreats and seminars. We think it is one of the single most effective ways a couple can be intentional about their marriage. It's free, you don't have to go anywhere, no baby sitters needed, you just need to take the time to do it! make "The 5 Questions" a part of your week and see how God can grow your relationship.
What exactly is marriage coaching. Most people have heard of marriage counseling, but a lot of people don't know what marriage coaching entails. Listen in and see if marriage coaching might help your relationship go from good to great!
Conflict in marriage is inevitable. Handle it right and it can strengthen your relationship. Handle it poorly and you relationship can seem like an endless nightmare. In this final episode of the Healthy Conflict series, we will discuss some tools that help you learn to deal with conflixt in a healthier way.
In part 2 of our series on how to handle conflict in a healthy way, we talk about some of the unhealthy ways of dealing with conflict that couples may fall into if they are not prepared. The four responses to conflict that can damage relationships include criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. Leran to focus on the issues at hand and avoid these.
Conflict in marriage is inevitable. Whether it arises from differing opinions or is caused by deep wounding, every marriage will face some type of conflict. The key is to deal with conlict in a healthy way when it arises in a relationship. Handled in the right way, conflict can strengthen and grow your marriage. This is the first of a 3-part dseries on conflict.
What did you think marriage was going to be like? Who cooks? Where do you go for the holidays or vacations? All of us go into marriage with expectations, but when those expectations are unrealistic and unmet, problems arise. How do you respond when the expectations you have for marriage are not being met. We will ttake that on in this weeks podcast.
In the classic movie "Casablanca", Sam sings, "You must remember this, akiss is just a kiss." Is a kiss really just a kiss? In this episode we talk about the importance of romance in the marriage relationship. Who knew all that happens with "just a kiss."
In the the third episode of the Enemies of Intimacy series,, we talk about the enemy, selfishness. Intimacy is hard to grow if one or both spouses are consumed with the idea that marriage is all about them. The love that God calls us to is marked by putting others ahead of ourselves. Following Christ in selflessness is a key to growing an intimate marriage.
What are some of the enemies or barriers that keep couples from building deep intimacy in each of those areas. In part 2 of a 3-part series, we take a look at the second enemy of intimacy - pride.
Great marriages are marked by spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy. What are some of the enemies or barriers that keep couples from building deep intimacy in each of those areas. In part 1 of a 3-part series, we take a look at the first enemy of intimacy - busyness.
Intentionality is key to building a strong marriage. In part 2 of this topic, we talk about the last two of the three C's - Connecting to both God and our spouse, and learning to cherish your spouse.
Great marriages don't just happen. They result from coup[es being intentional about doing the things that build strong, vibrant, lasting marriages. If you are not intentional about buliding your marriage, you will drift along and before you know it, find yourself disconnected from your spouse and wondering how you got there. This podcast is the first of two focuseds on being intentional in your marriage. We focus on the three "C"'s: Creating a Vision, Connecting, and Cherishing.
Paul tells us in Romans that, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,." I don't know that we believed that 26 years ago when our third son, Cole, was born. He was our second child born with a congenital heart defect. In the years ahead though, God proved his promise to be true. It was hard, we didn't always handle the challenges well, but God used Cole to help transform our relationship with him and each other. Even in the storms of life, you can thrive together.
Walk the same route through a forest over and over and you create a pathway. You continue to follow it because it has been ingrained in your mind. Often, our family of origen has created the same type of pathways in our lives. We come into marriage with established ideas about what marriage will be like, what roles a husband or wife should take, how we should spend vacations and holidays. That's the way your family did it and it feels right to you. What happens when a couple's pathways conflict? What are the pathways you are building or have constructed for your children? Navigating the pathways smoothly is one of the many challenges we face in this journey of marriage.
One of the keys to healthy relationships is communication. It's not just the words that are spoken, but includes tone and body language as well. Evn silence can be a form of communication. How well do you and your spouse communicate? Do you go beyond sheduling and surface levels. Good communication skills are essential in building deep intimacy in your marriage.
One of the big challenges married couples can face is learning to deal with the differences in the way that men and women think. A college professor once said, "As different as men and women are physically, the difference in the way their brains work is even more profound." If you are not careful, you can make brain differences into heart differences. Couples need to learn to celebrate and appreciate the way their spouse thinks differently than they do. Those differences can make them a stronger team.
Marriages run on love. How full is your love tank? How about your spouse? be intentional about showing love to your spouse.
Why did God create marriage? Understanding the why can give you both hope and stamina when you face the challenges of life and marriage. “Marriage is the relationship designed by God, patterned after the relationship of the Trinity, whereby God joins together an individual man and women into one flesh, fulfilling our longing for companionship, intimacy, and vulnerability; designed to raise godly generations; creating a partnership which God uses to mold us into the image of Christ; teaching us to love our spouse and others with a selfless love in order that we may display to the world the glorious truth of the gospel - that God loves us in our brokenness, Jesus died to redeem us, and God desires an intimate relationship with us!”
With a new podcast some people might be wondering, "Why should I listen to these people?" In this episode, we share the beginning or our story and the challenges we faced. We will finish the story in the next episode. It can be a little heavy at times, but I hope you enjoy it.
Carla and I finish our story as God takes us through the hardest days of our lives. Life can be painful, but God's grace is sufficient.