I Have Written: Recent Episodes
Daniel
Got a Y chromosome? Want to hear cold, hard facts about how awesome it is to be a Christian man, with zero bull? Then punch the Play button and get ready to hear real, raw truth about how to be everything that you can be, along with a bunch of laughs, wacky stories and the strong possibility of offending anyone who hates the patriarchy......or uses essential oils.
Knowing what we as men are called to do is a powerful realization, but one that also comes with a heavy responsibility; a responsibility to not run with what we know that He has gifted us with and then leave Him out of the picture. For many years, I asked God the wrong question. I was obsessed with what I could do for Him, rather than what He could do through me.
Take a step back and ask yourself, "Am I asking the right question?"
One of the most common things we hear from the world is, "Christians aren't supposed to judge." That would be the end of the conversation if you don't know your Bible, but we do, so it's far from over.
The concept of not judging anyone for anything couldn't be further from biblical truth. While it is true that we mustn't judge flippantly, we are still called to judge and weigh people based on their actions and deeds. It is our responsibility as believers to bring truth and justice into the world in love, and we can't do that if we never speak up or never hold anyone to His standards.
Hidden among the many amazing blessings that Christ promised to those who accept Him is the unhappy promise that the world will hate us for our faith. "Hate" is a rather strong word and may seem extreme in this case, but that's the word He chose.
When the world treats us wrongly, it's not our place as Christians to act vengefully, while the Word is also clear that we don't tolerate evil. Where's the balance here? We must learn to live at peace with our enemies. This requires hating the evil in people's hearts while loving the people themselves, and to do that we must become peaceful enemies.
"Men and women can do whatever they want."
"We're tired of men keeping us boxed in at home."
"We're tired of women always expecting us to provide for them."
Well, I'm tired of hearing how tired and wrong everybody else is. God has already established a natural order for what a household and a family should look like, and when we follow that order, everybody wins (and enjoys it, too). They don't have to be bad, restrictive things, but we have chosen to view them as such. He has left nothing to speculation regarding what a man's or woman's respective responsibilities are, and yet, even in the church, we continue to challenge Him.
In this episode, the proper gender roles gasp are outlined and justified with the Bible.
Each gift is from God, and that means each gift has the full potential for being amazing. However, we often get stuck on whether or not a gift is admired or recognized by others.
If we can truly get to the place where we not only accept, but like who God made us to be, the sky is not the limit. There is no limit. No matter where you are, or what you do, God can still use you mightily. If you've been struggling to find your gifting or already know what it is and aren't necessarily happy about it, then this episode was made with you in mind.
Goals.
We all need them. Can't live without them. If you don't have them, then you should get some.
However, too often we let our goals become idols and let them replace our relationship with God. In the same way that spouses often stop pursuing each other once they're married, we often stop pursuing God once we have another clear goal in mind. Sadly, we forget that without Him, that dream has no hope of becoming all that it is meant to. What's more, we grow impatient because we haven't seen that vision come to pass when we think it should, instead of learning to be content in the waiting, and enjoy the maturing process that He has us on.
The longer we hope for something, the more satisfied we are when we finally see it come to pass. So take your time, enjoy the in-between and let hope grow.
Today, it breaks my heart to see how much this next generation is completely unprepared for the world ahead of it. More so, it is frightening to think that these are the ones who will one day hold that same world in their hands. However, we can't look at them as a bunch of dumb kids, or as failures or a waste of our time. They have been failed by adults who have instilled in them idealism instead of motivation, arrogance instead of confidence, entitlement instead of respect, entitlement instead of gratitude and selfishness instead of consideration.
The generation before them has, as a whole, failed them and sent them on the road to disaster.
But we can change that.
Marriage used to be painted as something to be aspired to, something honorable, something beautiful and holy, but that has changed so much for the worse. Today, the evil which has creeped into every corner of the world is working overtime to destroy marriage and nuclear family which is the foundation of every healthy society. The devil has an agenda, but we as men of God must counter this plan with our words and deeds. On top of that, we must pass on the values of virtuous living, hard work and commitment to our sons and daughters.
I know when many of you hear the word "tithe" that some of you wince, the hair stands up on your neck, or you roll your eyes. And I don't blame you, because many ignorant Christians have painted tithing in a poor and untrue light. The true purpose of the tithe is not for God to get your money (because at the end of the day, He doesn't need it), but it is there to plant seeds of trust that God can bless and expand.
When you really know what it's all about, giving can even be fun, stress-free and easy.
We are excited to have Jeff Voth join the podcast today to expound on his upcoming book, Serpent Crusher. This book is directed towards men who may be "crushed" in some area of their life, such as sexuality, health, purpose, etc. Jeff breaks down the causes behind these battles and gives some sound (and biblical) advice on how to effectively go from being crushed to being a crusher.
You can find the book here: https://cavetime.org/shop/serpent-crusher
Make sure to check out the rest of Jeff’s content while you’re over there!
The role of a father is dynamic and no two days look the same. It can be hard enough to juggle responsibilities and a marriage, but then you throw kids into the mix, and that juggling gets even harder. What does the day of a father look like? Is it possible to find that balance with our spouses and children?
Daniel's father-in-law joins him to share his experiences and wisdom in raising three children. He touches on daily life, parental roles and the challenges that he faced. He has had to apply "the basics" many times in his life, so tune and find out what that could look like when you're a father.
Fathers have a lot of burdens to bear, but in addition to it all, they have to find a way to raise their sons up and transform them into godly men. This is much easier said than done. That being said, it's becoming more and more apparent as time goes on that many, if not most, men in the church are failing miserably at this. We have sons out there who think that they're men because they're eighteen years old. We have boys in men's bodies who have never proved themselves in any way and don't deserve recognition as a man. The problem is chronic and massive, only growing larger.
In this episode, Daniel's own father joins him on the podcast to discuss his experience raising three sons, as well as mentoring and influencing other young men throughout his life.
Fatherhood implies many things. Playing with the kids, doing the lawn, fixing the car, going to work, going fishing in the middle of a thunderstorm, etc. We're all familiar with these things, but what about biblical fatherhood?
In this episode of I Have Written, we're going to discuss the three main roles of a father according to the Bible. Just because these were written thousands of years ago does not mean that they are any less applicable or needed today.
All men need discipline. Life doesn't happen without it. At least, not much good happens in life without it. There are even many examples of non-Christian men who are shining examples of what a disciplined life can do for you. Jesus was certainly disciplined, but He also put His relationship with God first.
Today, with the onset of the Red Pill Movement and myth of the Sigma Male, some men are becoming hyper-obsessed with discipline in their lives, often at the cost of their relationship with Christ. See, Christ does want us to be disciplined, but He does it for a purpose, not just for the sake of being disciplined, not merely for that sensation of privilege that we think we earned because we did more pushups than the next guy, but for His glory and the expansion of His Kingdom.
Investments really aren't my thing. I don't understand them and I don't see the purpose for them, at least financially. The only kind of investment that I do understand is the kind that you pour into the hearts and minds of others.
It's crucial to remember and appreciate the fact that none of us would be where we are unless someone took the time to invest wisdom, skills and common sense into us. Even if they only poured bad things into you, it only reinforces the fact that what we put into others can dramatically change their lives.
So, what do you have that somebody else needs to get to their place called "there?"
It's true. It really never is about you. Selfishness is truly one of those vices that can make or break your marriage. You don't want be guilty of it, but you feel justified doing so when others are, especially your spouse. After all, you're a busy man, right? You bring home the bacon and that gives you the right to just kick up your feet and be waited on hand and foot.
Wrong.
Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, who were supposed to waiting on him. If He can do that with those he did not have a covenant with, how much more can we do for the one who we have a covenant with?
Let's face it, most of our lives are spent doing things that we don't particularly enjoy doing. There are dishes and clothes to wash, cars to maintain, floors to sweep, meals to cook, lawns to mow, trash to take out, and the list goes on! A large portion of our life is taken up with the not-so-fun-necessities, and if you're not careful, these mundane tasks can sneak up and take over your marriage, putting your actual relationship in second place.
Allie joins Daniel again today to cover how to divide responsibilities in a collaborative, healthy way that can even be fun sometimes, and then goes into keeping a marriage thriving in spite of difficulties, stress and burnout.
Beginning a relationship is easy. A guy and a girl agree to be together, they date, they have fun, they get to know each more, they talk about dreams, they plan a future together until the day when they finally get married.
For many couples, the excitement and joy of being in a relationship ends on the wedding day. This is primarily due to the sad fact that most of us are never taught how to communicate with the opposite sex and that men and women have very different needs from each other. Tune in and take notes on how to keep the joy in your marriage every day, how to ask your wife for what you need and how to appreciate her needs.
Are you marriage material? Can you recognize marriage material when you see it? The Bible is very clear on these things, but even in church, we tend to go with what we like instead of stepping back and asking God what He says about marriage.
In this episode, Daniel is going to tell the guys what to look for in a girl to determine if she is someone who you should consider asking God about. There's a lot to go over. There are plenty of boxes to check off besides, "Is she hot?" Then Allie is going to step in and describe what each man should see in himselfbefore he considers stepping into a relationship, as well as what most girls are looking for in a godly man.
As a man, I'm not too excited when it comes to all things romantic, but I have also learned that God really does care about those things. He cares about our hearts, our emotions, our hurts and our desires. I have wanted to be married for years, but relationships never worked out the way I hoped they would. However, the story that I ended up sharing with my wife turned out to be better than anything I had asked for.
And He can do the same for you.
Here we are at last! The final element of what makes a man honorable is about to be revealed. Some of you may have seen this coming, some of you may not have, but I'm less concerned with how predictable I may or may not be. I am very concerned, however, with whether you take the challenge to live out an honorable life.
Let's face it, guys, honor is all but gone today. We can bring it back, though. We can bring it back and show the world that there is still a God and He is alive and well in His sons.
But do you have what it takes to carry the most difficult element of honor? Do you have what it takes to live it?
This is one quality of honor that is lacking in our churches today in biblical proportions. Men today can be faithful, yet they choose not to be. I'm not just talking about marriage, while that certainly is applicable, but to all areas of life. Faith, church, marriage, fatherhood, etc. The list goes on.
As Christian men, we need to bring back the standards of faithfulness that Christ gave to us on the Cross and in His life. We must prove to ourselves and to God that we have what it takes to remain His loyal sons, especially when trials overwhelm us and the whole world is screaming for us to quit.
Selflessness: Something that many of us are familiar with, yet never achieve. There are so many "mature" Christians who still, deep down, are entirely self-centered. It's a trap that is all too easy to fall into, right? After all, I've got things to do for God! He's called me to great feats and amazing adventures!
Well, maybe He did, but He can't use you anymore with that attitude. Can you see where I'm going with this?
Before you listen to this episode, ask yourself one vital question. "When I go to church, do I think more about what I can get out of it, or about what I can give?"
Courage. What do you think of when you hear that word? Personally, I think of Courage the Cowardly Dog, which also makes me think that I need to get my mind renewed. But when I think just a little bit more about it, I think of standing up in the face of conflict. I actually think about being scared and uncertain, because courage is not the absence of fear. It is having the strength to push through, especially when fear and uncertainty are present.
Our first step to answering the question, "What makes a man honorable" will be exploring the aspect of integrity. This means to be sound, constant, morally stable and undivided, but can we make that definition simpler? Is there truly a way for a man to walk wholly in integrity?
If it's so important to you, why are you waiting until next year to do it?
Think about it.
Alphas, Betas, Sigmas, and whatever other titles are out there. No doubt you've heard them, and you've also probably identified with one of those labels. We men are very good at putting everyone else and ourselves in neat little boxes with shiny labels, but that system of classification can be harmful when it turns into rivalry.
Rivalry and competition are inevitable when we see someone different than ourselves, because it automatically brings out the desire to prove that our version of manhood is superior to another's.
But did Jesus do that? Is it possible that cooperation is better than competition and unity trumps uniformity?
Porn is poison.
It kills your relationships. It kills your self-esteem. It kills your boldness to seek God's face. It. Just. Kills.
But you can be free of it today from just a word from God. In this episode, you'll hear why porn is taking away so much more from your life than you think it is, but more importantly, you'll hear how to get out of it. Even if you aren't struggling with this, you can take what you hear and help someone who is.
We're conquerors and overcomers through Christ, and porn is just another enemy that we will see dead.
God has given all of us dreams and ideas. Period. No exceptions. The only reason that some of us my not feel like He has is because we haven't asked or pursued Him with genuine hearts.
But, once you latch on to the goodness of God and the amazing, full future that He has laid out before you, step into it with passion and zero shame. Your future is not just going to fall into place. You will have to put in work. You will have to go after it. But with God at your back, you can rest assured that you will get there.
The idea that we can do single-handedly accomplish everything that God has called us to do is, simply put, a stupid one.
In my first week of marriage, I have learned (quite rapidly, I might add) that my wife has so many strengths that I don't have or even realized I needed. She can say the same thing about me (I hope). That's all well and good, but this all made me think about how I have seen some men feel humiliated or threatened because they came face-to-face with the reality that they can't do everything on their own.
So I'm going to tell you how to stay humble and learn to appreciate instead of despise the gifts and strengths in others.
Change. We've talked about that quite a bit already on this podcast, haven't we? Well, too bad, because we're going to talk about it some more.
In this episode, we're not only talking about the inevitability and necessity of change, but about our heart attitude towards it. Way deep down, what do you think when you're forced to step out of your comfort zone, to break an old habit, or take on new responsibilities?
The answer to that question will determine if you need to stay and learn another lesson where you are, or if you're ready to move on to the next challenge.
In this episode a special guest, Bill Hampton, shares his amazing testimony of how God saved His life from crippling alcoholism. Bill also gives advice on just about every other major area of life, and covers some advice and tips that he wished he had known as a young man.
Yes. You read that right. Stop it. Quit it. Knock it off.
Accumulating wealth, in spite of what a bunch of religious old men will tell you, is a godly trait. People who are against having money are the very ones who shouldn't be trusted with it, because they know that they would waste it the moment they got it. The real purpose of earning money is not to waste it on yourself, but to give it back to God.
Only then will you walk in true prosperity.
"To be, or not to be? That is the question."
Ok, maybe that's a cliché way to start, but it's still a good question! Do we really grow content with just being, or should our focus be more on doing? As men, we often place more importance on what we can set our hands to, but could it be that who we are has a crucial part to play about what we do?
Yes, boys will be boys. This always has been, always is and always will be.
But why?
In this episode we explore the reasons why every man has remnants of the child he used to be still in his heart, and why that might not actually be a bad thing, but rather a way of God using that adventurous little tyke to help us keep our dreams alive and burning.
We all have ideas of what love is and what love isn't.
BUT OUR IDEAS DON'T MATTER.
All that matters is what the Word says, right? So let's find out what it does and doesn't say along with some of the stupidest reasons that people have broken up.
So, you say that you're happy being single. You're perfectly content, happy, not lacking a thing. Great! Then why do you still have that Tinder account? Maybe you should stop messaging that girl in Moldova (can you even pronounce her name?) who you met on ChristianMingle and actually start putting your money where your mouth is.
Every single one of us, without exception, needs to go through a season where we are genuinely complete and fulfilled in Christ before we get married. You must learn to accept and understand the love that He has for you before you can ever hope to pass that love onto a wife. Otherwise, how can you give what you don't have?
"Can I be straight with you?"
No, we're not talking about being the opposite of homosexual, ya weirdo.
If you've never heard those words or ones like it, then you probably don't have anyone in your life who loves you enough to be blunt with you. When we're not tough on ourselves, we really do need others to come along and call us out on our mistakes.
Whether you're a friend, father, grandfather, brother or uncle, you need to have people in your life who are unafraid to make you uncomfortable if you're out of line. Also, you need to be that man who others can rely on to be brutally honest when it's necessary.
We've all had others tell us how to be better men, and we've all probably told others how they could improve their character, too.
But when nobody is giving you input, are you satisfied with your level of growth? Are you maturing continuously or are you stuck in the same habits and mistakes that you were making 5 years ago?
There are times when we need to be our own worst critic, not just for the sake of criticism, but for the sake of becoming the best versions of ourselves. These changes can be drastic or subtle. Regardless of the level of transformation required, we first have to learn how to identify what needs to change.
It's one thing to stay in love with Christ, who He is and what He's done for you. It's much more difficult to actually live out that love.
When people know that you're a Christian, they're going to call you out on it and challenge, push you, and sometimes intentionally tempt you. They might not even know what they're doing, but when that time comes, how will you respond and why?
In this episode you'll learn 3 questions that will help keep you on the path of staying strong in the faith.
- Who are your friends?
- What do you do in the dark?
- Who do you want to be?
When the Israelites took over the Promised Land, God told them to build altars and memorials so that they wouldn't forget what He had done for them.
But they didn't, at least not much. Soon enough they began to fall away and goof off and do whatever they felt like. They didn't build any unshakeable memories.
Have you built anything in your life to help you remember what God has done for you? Will the blessings and miracles He's already done remain unshakeable in your heart?
Set apart.
When first reading those words, there are various thoughts which will pop up for many of you. Some may think of being a monk on some hilltop in Greece. Others will think of being a missionary in darkest Africa. Still others will think of boredom and restrictions, or the super saints who change the world wherever they go.
None of those assumptions are correct. God wants all of us to be set apart to some degree, not so that He can restrict us or doom us to lives of boring religion, but so that He can work more freely through us. This episode lays out what being sold out truly looks like.
Ever been so focused on "the big picture" that you forgot how to live a normal, day-to-day life? I certainly have, and it never led anywhere good. I even went so far as to forget that my calling, whatever it may be, was going to revolve around people in some respect.
Being hyper-focused on your calling or purpose isn't inherently a bad thing, but it can ultimately be a hindrance to obtaining the very results you want to see. So which comes first: relationship with God or your purpose?
There are few pleasures in life greater than taking a massive bite out of a prime, juicy steak. It's one of the apex moments of any man's journey, that is, until you start choking on it. You gag, sputter, slap your back, the tears start flowing, all while you ask yourself, "Why did I think I could handle that?" Then some kind person has to come along and save your sorry, steak-choking self. You didn't die from the food, but now you're dying of embarrassment.
Sadly, we take the exact same approach to other, more important, areas of life. These ones can have more far-reaching consequences than a few tears and a dose of embarrassment. Punch Play and find out how not to bite off more than you can chew.
Selflessness is a lofty goal that many of us strive for, and one that even more of us believe we've already attained. The type of love that Jesus spoke of and told us to reach for comes with a steep price, and I only know of a few good men who are willing to pay that price. Sadly, it's a very real possibility that you don't know anyone who is willing to do what's necessary to love in a Christ-like way.
The good part is, you can be better.
Tag along with Daniel as he spells out the one key to living in New Testament, real deal Jesus love, accompanied by a story of his darkest time in life.
It's normal and healthy for a man to never lose his sense of adventure, no matter how old he grows. The desires to build, discover, and pioneer are in every one of us, but we must remember that our lives are not our own. When we get the urge to ride away into the sunset or move across (or even out of) the country, is it God's idea or are you just growing restless? Have you lost contentment where you are for no other reason than it's not exciting anymore? In this episode, Jordan and Daniel unpack this dichotomy and figure out how to live in peace wherever you are without leaving your sense of adventure at the door.
Knowing how to respect a woman should be innate, especially for Christians, since the Bible is pretty explicit on how to do so. Even so, most men struggle in one way or another. This episode is inspired by the many conversations Daniel has had with the women in his life, and his desire to pass on their needs and insight onto you. In this episode, you'll hear the top 5 worst and best ways to treat a woman, along with some great, applicable examples.
Title says it all. One of the primary solutions to any unhealthy relational dynamic is setting firm boundaries and managing expectations. Love and trust are also essential, but when you become someone's doormat, or even worse, you unknowingly are abusing a friendship, bitterness and resentment have a wide, open door to walk through.
Jesus did it.
All the other greats did it.
You can do it, too.
Willpower and tenacity are great traits (at least when you're on the right side of the fence), but it is possible to become too reliant on our strength when life really hits the fan. It's a guarantee that at some point you're no longer going to have the strength to motivate yourself. That's when Jesus has to step in.
And that's when things get interesting.
We all strive for success (and should) in everything we do. It's just common sense that we want to be successes rather than failures in what God has called us. However, the moment when we become possessive of that calling, or we forget why we started in the first place, is the moment we open up to the door to temptations and any other thing that wants to see us crash and burn. Your calling is unique to you, which is why you are the only one who can steward it.
Ever made a mistake? Good! Then that means you've had a chance to apologize.
Humbling ourselves and admitting that we messed up is never a comfortable situation, and it very rarely feels good, but it does show that you refuse to be the sum of your mistakes and that you love others more than yourself. This is one of the key marks of maturity in any man. A man who is willing to apologize is a man who is willing to learn and grow. He is willing to learn how to better control his emotions and be more conscientious of how is actions affect others. He is willing to become stronger, and he can do that by way of an apology.
June is gay pride month. At least, that's what everyone is telling us. However, the people who are so excited for this movement and want you to jump on the bandwagon consistently fail to tell you the darker side of their lifestyle.
So we are.
Homosexuality is wrong. Period. There is no biblical or scientific basis for accepting it or endorsing it. But we're Christians, aren't we? So how do we respond in a way that isn't hateful, or out of line? These are the questions we answer in this episode, along with showing you why you don't need to buckle under the crushing peer pressure that society is trying to bury you under.
Get ready to be politically incorrect!
The concept of hearing God can seem like an intimidating and unreachable goal that only seems to work for the super-duper Christians, but nothing could be further from the truth. Not only can you hear God, but He wants to talk to you (believe it or not)! In this episode, Daniel goes through some simple steps and examples to help you start hearing God's voice.
If there's one thing that people like to do, it's put everyone in neat little boxes and say, "This is your box. Don't you dare get out." However, we've learned that God loves to break the mold with His creation. Whether you do or don't fit the stereotypical definition of a man, you're not better than those who don't or worse than those who do. All that matters is finding out who God told you to be. As Mark Twain said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
Does the concept of inheritance mean anything in the modern world, let alone the Christian world? Inheritance was a term that was held in high regard in the Bible, and we believe that it still should be. But what does it apply to? Money, property, family names and things of that nature are a given, but we would like to challenge you that it also applies to much higher things, as well.
Being a man is awesome, but that doesn't do away with the fact that sometimes life gets hard. When those times come, you have a choice to make: rise to the challenge, or walk away from it. Which choice you make will speak volumes about your character.
As a man, more often than not you are expected to bite the bullet, but we'll dig into why it should be that way and why God has equipped you to overcome so much more than you thought possible.
Integrity is key, not only to becoming a man, but to showing God and others that you can be trusted with the next big thing.
If you were created as a man, then you have every right and reason to be proud of being one. No exceptions.