Spirit Of The Sikh: Recent Episodes
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Every Sikh has a story to tell...and this is my experience. It is a collection of thoughts and reflections as I journey on this path with the Guru. In these essays, poems, and random thoughts - I hope to learn more about myself, learn more about my Guru, and strengthen the bond between the two.
This coming April, I will celebrate my 26th “birthday”, when I received Khande Ki Pahul. This post is a reflection of that day and the months leading up to it.
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I always wondered when my day would come to receive amrit
And join the ranks of the Khalsa
The same way my heroes and sheroes did from the Guru’s time to the 1980s
All of whom adorned the walls of my bedroom as a child to my apartment as an adult
It was intimidating though
How do I live up to that standard?
Will I be able to maintain such discipline?
How will I know when I’m ready?
But then I wondered…is anyone ever ready?
When the Panj Pyaarey one by one raised their hands offering their head to the Guru that Vaisakhi day…they had no time to question, debate, reflect, prepare, weigh the pros and cons
Maybe they had their doubts
But their faith was stronger
They just loved
And the Guru loved them back
Around this time as Vaisakhi was approaching, I was teaching a Sikh history class to young children and they asked me when they should take amrit and join the Khalsa. I told them, they should do it the same as the Panj Pyaarey did…as soon as they heard the Guru’s call. Then one girl raised her hand and asked, Veerji…has the Guru called for you?
Answering the call
Answering the call
Trying to stand tall but afraid I might fall
I want to commit to my Guru but I’m worried I might fail
I try to work through my insecurities but to no avail
What if I can’t keep up, the discipline’s too tough
What if I face doubts when the waters get rough
What if I just can’t work through my stuff
What if can’t match my Guru’s love and I’m just not…enough
Maybe Amrit is not in my fate
Perhaps it’s not my time, maybe I should just…wait
But then my Guru reminds me…
The season of spring has comePlant the seed of Naam, that Naam of Akaal PurakhIt is not the season to plant any other seedsDon’t get distracted, don’t wander around in delusion and doubtOh my mind, this is the season of NaamHas the Guru called for me? I don’t know if he has
But I know I feel a restlessness listening to shabads that I never felt before
Has the Guru called for me? I don’t know if he has
But when I do ardaas I feel the presence of all the Guru Sahibaan and the shaheeds of our history in the room with me
Has the Guru called for me? I don’t know if he has
But lately my nitnem brings a lump to my throat and my eyes well up in tears
Has the Guru called for me? I don’t know if he has
But every day when I take hukamnama, it feels personal…as though Guru Sahib is talking directly to me
Has the Guru called for my head?
Or have I not listened to everything that he’s said
Have I been too blind to see
That I’ve been locking myself up when he’s trying to set me free
He’s given me sangat, showing me where I belong
Quietly fueling me with everything I need to stay strong
I’ve received blessings upon blessings from the Guru’s family tree
Our shaheeds are looking down and they’re counting on me
I keep waiting for His direction, looking for a sign
But the truth is he’s been calling for my head this whole time
Answering the call
Answering the call
It’s time to be my Guru’s soldier
Starting with Khande Ki Pahul
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This poem was inspired by Guru Arjan Patshah’s experience found on Ang 1185 of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Excerpts from this shabad were included in this piece. Please forgive me for any misuse, misinterpretation, or mispronunciation. I encourage you to read and reflect on the shabad in its entirety. https://www.igurbani.com/shabad/h9lo
Sometimes I look at images from the destruction and bloodshed of the attack on Darbar Sahib in 1984 during the Battle of Amritsar
And honestly I feel nothing anymore
I’ve been seeing these images since I was kid and I guess I’ve become desensitized
But there’s still one image that gets me every time
And those are the images of Guru Granth Sahib Ji birs that were set on fire
Those images are etched in my head
Even when all the fighting and destruction was done
There alone, was Guru Granth Sahib Ji in flames
The only fire to be found
As though it was purposely done right before the enemies left
Our enemies were not just trying to kill Sikhs
They were trying to kill Sikhi
They were trying to kill our spirit
They knew our history
They knew that by killing Sikhs
We would only take inspiration from our fallen brothers and sisters
And return only stronger than we were before
But if they attack the Guru, perhaps that would finish us for good
Because they knew that the Guru was the source of our strength
The truth is…it is our Guru’s baani that has our oppressor trembling in fear…always has
So every morning, when you take parkaash of Guru Granth Sahib Ji
You read baani, reflect, discuss its meaning, and find ways to incorporate it in your life
Know that it’s not only for you to gain the wisdom and insight to connect with Akaal Purakh
But know that it is also an act of defiance, to all the oppressors we face – past, present, and future
An act of defiance to all those who stand in the way of justice
Because to the oppressor
The most dangerous person in the world is a Guru-connected Sikh
Years ago, I remember reading poems themed around “If I should have a daughter.” This is my “Now that I have a daughter” poem – lessons and reflections from a father of two amazing Kaurs.
Just because he has the loudest voice in the room
Doesn’t mean he’s right
Confidence and arrogance is no substitute for intelligence
So know your shit, look’em dead in the eye
Speak with confidence and hold your head high
They may not like you
But you’ll have their respect
Running circles around them with your intellect
That’s the daughter we raised
Faith, Education, and Self-reflection
Your faith, your discipline is not just for show
It’s to internalize, better yourself, and grow
Your faith in the Divine
Should always be your north star
Keeping you grounded, knowing exactly who you are
Education
Yeah, we push you to hit the books and get good grades
But it’s not just about honor rolls and getting straight As
See your education is not merely for building wealth
It’s a tool to live a life that’s bigger than yourself
So when systems are unfair, unjust and corrupt
Then dismantle those systems and lift people up
And when you finally reach that board room on the top floor
Send the elevator back down and tell them to make room for more
As as a young woman of color, it’s not just about you
It’s about paving a way for others to come through
So find that sisterhood to elevate you and make sure give back
Let’em know the color of queens come in brown and black
In what lies before you the challenges will be tall
The powers that be trying to make you feel small
But believe in yourself and project you voice
Let them know interrupting you will be the wrong choice
So put in the work and let God do the rest
But don’t ever go out there, without giving them your best
You may think I am asking a lot of you, the expectations are high
And you’d be right
And why not?
Look at where you come from?
You’ve been given blessings through generations in layers
Your mere existence is the answer to your ancestors prayers
The women of your family have given you your powers
So live your life with purpose, so you can give them their flowers
Yes, we have high expectations for you
But saying all this gives me pause.
Because as your father, I realize that I have to play a role in this too
How can I expect you to defend your ideas if I’m the one dismissing them?
How are you supposed to elevate your voice if I’m the one interrupting you?
For me to model the right behaviors I need to unlearn and unravel my own conditioning
It’s something I will try and fail it, but will improve on day to by day
Because after all…we are in this together
I know your potential is limitless
Take time every day for self-reflection
To align with the Flow, heading a divine direction
I know one day you’ll have the world’s attention
And I’ll just sit back and watch your ascension
So pursue your goals and aim for perfection
Succeed or fail you’ll have our love and affection
And when the world is too much and you fall off the track
Know your Mom and I will always have your back
Know’s there’s nothing you can’t accomplish
Nothing you can’t do
Just believe in yourself, like we believe in you
Years ago while at a restaurant with my wife, an elderly couple next to us overheard us talking. After some time, the man leaned over to me and whispered, “When are you going to start looking like an American?” Without much thought I immediately responded, “What does an American look like?” This poem is a reflection of the exchange that day.
When are you going to start looking like an American?
Look like an American?
Tell me what I’m supposed to do?
Do I need to cut myself and prove to you that I bleed red, white, and blue?
Is there something I need to prove, a test to put me through?
You gonna quiz me on who won the world series of 1962?
Tell me what does an American look like…to you?
Of all the things an American can be
What makes you think an American can’t look like me?
You can’t fathom this accent-less voice matching my look?
Perhaps you should put down your guns and pick up a book
Learn about the world, and where you fit in it all
Rather than acting like some kind of authority, making me feel small
Tell me what does an American look like?
Does he look like the indigenous man who quietly fills you with guilt?
Or the does he look like the enslaved, upon whose back this all was built?
Tell me what does an American look like?
Now you’ve got me fired me up, writing these rhymes
With you ignorant ass and racist paradigms
Just say you what you mean, put in plain sight
I do not look like an American
Because I am not white
You see
At my age
I’m no longer fazed by yells across the street “Hey Bin Laden”
The names and obscenities I get called just walking in the mall, minding my own
I just brush them off
But what hurts me to the core is that question…
“So…where are you from?”
And after I tell them, the inevitable follow-up feel like a gut punch
“No, where are you really from”
Your question, even with the best of intentions, tells me that I don’t belong here
That I am the other. A guest visiting your home
But let tell me you where I’m from
I am from a family of immigrants
And we are your doctors, nurses, lawyers, techies, shop keepers, cab drivers, artists, poets, teachers, truck drivers
And we are part of communities of black and brown who are the invisible wheels that keep this country moving even in the most challenging of times
Our stories have been written out of our country’s history, but the moral fabric of this nation has been sewn by us
This is my home, and I am here
And I’m not going anywhere, nor will I cower in fear
Despite my cynicism and criticism
I believe in the American dream
Not the one they show on TV
But realizing my full potential and lifting those up around me
It is near, it is real
But it requires us as a nation to truth-tell, repair, and heal.
That is the America I believe in, it’s the one that I see
It’s the home of the brave and the land of the free
So if you ever wonder who an American is supposed to be
Just look me in the eyes, cuz he looks just like me
Before I even open my eyes each morningMy mind is racingI’m dreading to even look at my phone What transpired at work overnight?What the hell happened in the world in the last 7 hours?I doom scroll through Twitter, scan through my social media My wifi connection is strong, but my Guru connection is weakI am […]
(A reflection during sehaj paath, a complete reading of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib) Finding my rhythm Finding my rhythm Sounds become syllables Syllables become words Words become poetry And poetry becomes magic As I began my journey, I struggled through each page focusing on grammar and pauses, finding it hard to engage I need […]
On my recent trip to Punjab, I noticed the Coca-Cola ads of Diljit Dosanjh everywhere. Twelve years back, I remember Daler Mehndi was on those same Coke ads, and the discussions I had then are starting to resurface now…about how it’s so great to have a Sikh role model like Diljit wearing a dastaar, “but” […]
Today we walked through the town of Fatehgarh Sahib Our daughters have read books for years on the lives and deaths of our beloved Sahibzade But as parents, the books were not enough We wanted them to walk the same ground that Baba Zorwarar Singh walked To touch the same soil where Baba Fateh Singh’s […]
once I dreamt that I met my Guru face to face he walked over and hugged me it was the kind of hug that old friends do swaying lasting for minutes silently reminiscing of all the ups and downs we’ve been through it was a warmth I had never felt before i woke up cold […]
On a Sunday night, we visited Gurdwara Shaheed Baba Deep Singh Ji in Ludhiana It was not gurpurab, or any other special occasion But in our hour there, the flow of sangat entering the darbar hall never stopped An all-female jatha was leading the sangat in keertan At one point, I looked around to see […]
If you know me well, you know I love hip hop. Not sure whether it was the time period I was born or how it lined up perfectly with the heyday of hip hop music, but nevertheless, it was the soundtrack of my childhood. And although much has changed since then, my affinity towards the […]
When I was assigned to teach a history class at a Sikh youth camp this Summer, I was nervous. For years, I’ve been trying to focus on learning and teaching gurmat, so the idea of going back to memorizing names and dates was intimidating. But after dusting off a few books and re-learning about our […]
A few days ago, I came across a shabad that gave me pause. Guru Arjan Patshah shares in his experience: In the simplest of translations, Guru Sahib says, “Many will follow Him…but few will connect.” I immediately had this image of the hundreds of thousands of Sikhs I’ve seen at nagar kirtans, the throngs of […]
I call you to form the Saviour-people, the Khalsa, the Guru’s own, the fragrant companionship of the Knights of Heaven. – Prof. Puran Singh It was around 3:30am on November 10th aboard Amtrak to NYC that I was finally able to connect to the live stream Sarbat Khalsa being held in Chabba village on the outskirts […]
This evening, Sikhs from the DC Metro area gathered at Lafayette Park in front of the White House to stand in solidarity with Bapu Surat Singh Khalsa and the Sikh political prisoners languishing in Indian jails beyond the terms of their prison sentences. It was nostalgic… I remember being a kid 25 years ago standing […]