the own it podcast: Recent Episodes
Chantelle Nelson
A podcast that dives into the art of personal growth, self-development, and showing up to your life in every season. Tune in for a dose of therapeutic wisdom and practical, actionable tips for everyday life!
I'm so excited to share all about our recent Thrive Retreat, which took place from August 1st to 3rd. This was our very first in-person retreat, and it was so incredible that I just want to give you a sneak peek into the weekend!
From the moment we gathered, we instantly connected hearts and we spent the weekend together, not just as participants, but as a family united in our pursuit of freedom and breakthrough. It was truly special to finally meet face-to-face after connecting online for so long.
Throughout the retreat, we dove deep into our inner healing journeys, supported each other through powerful speakers and sessions, and experienced significant personal breakthroughs. The connections we made were profound, as we shared our stories, our struggles, and our victories.
In this episode, I'll be sharing some of the highlights from the retreat, the incredible transformations we witnessed, and how this experience has reignited our passion for living freely and fully. Whether you were there with us or you're hearing about it for the first time, I hope this episode inspires you to seek your own moments of breakthrough and connection and perhaps, join our community and come to our next retreat!
So, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's dive into the magic of the Thrive Retreat!
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching. If you’re interested in joining Thrive, join the waitlist so you can stay in the know for when the doors open. DOORS OPEN SEPTEMBER 7!
In part III of my series on pain and how we heal from our past, I delve into practical tools and steps for healing emotional pain and cultivating a healthier life. I break down 8 different keys to healing our pain and provide practical and actionable steps for each.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Self-Awareness
We must first become aware of what is going on inside of us that isn’t producing the results we want in our lives.
- Telling the Truth
Self-awareness is meaningless if we aren’t willing to be honest about our past, present, and future.
- Acceptance
Accepting who we are in this moment, with all our shortcomings, is crucial for making powerful choices towards healing and growth.
- Becoming a Change Agent
We can drive change in my life by identifying areas for improvement and developing strategies to address them.
- Owning and Validating Past Experiences
By validating our past experiences, we heal and gain perspective, allowing us to let go of old beliefs and create new ones.
- Reclaiming Rejected Parts of Yourself
Part of healing is reclaiming the parts of ourselves that we rejected due to fear, integrating them back into who we are.
- Forgiving Yourself and Others
Forgiveness involves releasing the hold others have on us due to their actions, allowing us to move forward and heal.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this series on pain and healing!
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
In this episode, I explore what healing truly means and the sources of our pain. The goal is to achieve an abundant life as mentioned in John 10:10. Healing involves confronting and overcoming the pain from trials we face, as noted in John 16:33, and not letting it dictate our lives.
HIGHLIGHTS:
Effects of Unhealed Pain:
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Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.
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Beliefs: "I'm not good enough," "It'll always be this way," "It doesn't matter how hard I try."
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Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, disconnection.
How Do We Process Past Pain?:
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Triggers: Indicate unhealed pain and help point us to areas of our life where we don’t yet have freedom.
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Childhood Pain: Unresolved childhood experiences can manifest as trust issues, low self-esteem, and codependency. Healing requires processing wounds, setting boundaries, and creating values.
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Past Relationships: Toxic relationships impact self-worth and trust. Healing from these relationships involves reparenting and creating new experiences in relationships.
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Negative Self-Perception: Internalized negative beliefs from childhood affect our adult decisions. We can heal through externalizing our experiences and cognitively restructuring our beliefs and narratives.
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Stress and Burnout: Chronic survival mode leads to burnout and we have to learn the symptoms of stress and burnout and align our actions with our values
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
Welcome to Part 1 of a series on inner healing. The goal of life in Christ is ABUNDANT LIFE — life and life abundantly (John 10:10). But life offers us pain and disappointment that can leave us feeling shame, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. In this multi-part episode, I want to unpack and demystify pain and inner healing in a tangible, practical, and applicable way.
HIGHLIGHTS:
What Are We Being Healed From?
Life’s Trials: In this life, you will have trials of many kinds (John 16:33). People aren’t perfect, and pain happens, often unnoticed.
Facing Pain: Healing means facing the things in our lives that have caused pain and refusing to let the effects of pain dictate our life’s course.
Effects of Unhealed Pain:
- Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.
- Beliefs: “I’m not good enough,” “It’ll always be this way,” “It doesn’t matter how hard I try.”
- Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, dissociating, and disconnection from people.
Benefits of Healing: When we heal, we can spend our energy showing up to our life instead of just surviving in it.
What Are We Healing From?
- Childhood Pain:
- Causes: Neglect, abuse, bullying, rejection, loneliness, emotional abandonment.
- Impact: Childhood experiences shape adult behaviors.
- Signs: Trust issues, emotional dysregulation, low self-esteem, codependency, people-pleasing, self-sabotage.
Healing helps us move from merely surviving to truly living. Remember, the goal is ABUNDANT LIFE. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll dive deeper into more areas of our life where we can experience pain and practical and actionable healing practices and techniques.
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
In this episode, I tackle a question I received from someone on Instagram regarding attachment styles. She asked, “Do you talk about how to do [attachment] differently cause I could sure use that?” With that, let’s explore how to change your attachment style, especially when dealing with avoidant and anxious dynamics.
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Attachment Styles Aren’t Fixed – your attachment style can change with effort and intention.
- Self-Awareness – observe your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships to identify patterns and triggers.
- Identify Your Attachment Style – understand that attachment styles can vary depending on the context and relationship.
- Reflect on Your Past – examine how childhood experiences shaped your current attachment style. Your past can provide clues to your present behaviors.
- Assess Inner Working Models – review past experiences and consider how you would like to change your responses.
- Inventory Anxious/Avoidant Behaviors – keep track of these behaviors and analyze them from a working model perspective, considering thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- Understand Triggers – identify what activates your attachment system and how you react. Reflect on what you miss out on by succumbing to these patterns.
- Narrate Your Attachment Patterns – practice articulating your attachment behaviors and their impacts.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!
Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.
In this episode, I have a real candid dialogue about the complex interplay between our dreams and motherhood. I openly talk about the realities of trying to balance it all and offer practical advice on how to manage the juggle. Whether you're struggling with time management, mom guilt, or finding your purpose, this episode provides insights and strategies to help you thrive.
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Pursuing Dreams: "You can have everything you want, just not all at the same time."
- Time Management: The unique challenge of managing time as a mom.
- Managing Mom Guilt: Strategies for handling feelings of guilt.
- Stewarding Gifts: Embracing and nurturing the talents God has placed within us.
- Taking Action: Starting now and doing something.
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Know Your Season: Recognizing and respecting the current season of your life.
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Identifying your Values + Priorities
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Setting Boundaries
... and SO MUCH MORE!
CONNECT WITH ME:
Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!
Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!
HIGHLIGHTS:
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Overview of Attachment Theory - Learn why early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.
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Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.
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Understanding Avoidant Attachment: Find out what it means to have an avoidant attachment style and how someone with this style presents as aloof, independent, not not emotional, and self-reliant.
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Navigating Disorganized Attachment: Explore the disorganized attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. The constant push-pull relationship is often shaped by trauma and abuse and it’s necessary to find someone to help us process this attachment style.
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Impact on Relationships – Attachment styles shape communication, conflict resolution, and emotional availability. Securely attached individuals enjoy more stable relationships, while insecure styles face more challenges.
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Changing Attachment Styles – Attachment styles can evolve with effort and new experiences. Learn how to increase self-awareness, develop trust, communicate effectively, set boundaries, and address past traumas.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!
Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.
Today we're diving deep into the fascinating world of attachment styles and what they mean for building healthy, thriving relationships. We all want to grow in having healthy relationships but oftentimes, we have no idea where to start. We don’t understand why we are the way that we are in our relationships. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the WHY behind some of the ick we feel in our relationships with others. Psst. It has to do with our childhood!
HIGHLIGHTS:
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Demystifying Attachment Theory: I unpack the origins of attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, and its profound impact on how we connect with others. Learn why those early interactions with caregivers shape our relationship dynamics throughout life.
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Exploring the Four Attachment Styles: Discover the secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles and what they reveal about our approach to intimacy and connection. From feeling safe to seeking constant reassurance, we'll delve into the fascinating intricacies of each style.
-
Understanding Secure Attachment: Find out what it means to have a secure attachment style and how it forms the foundation for healthy, fulfilling relationships. Spoiler alert: It's all about trust, intimacy, and a positive sense of self and others.
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Navigating Anxious Attachment: Explore the anxious attachment style and how it shapes our behaviors and beliefs around love and connection. From craving closeness to fearing abandonment, we'll uncover the ins and outs of this attachment style.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!
Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.
Today, I’m sharing an exclusive insider into my Thrive Collective. This is a workshop where I invited my best friend, Mari Helart into our Thrive community and we answered some juicy questions about friendship – the kinds of questions you don’t want to ask because it makes you feel like a bad person (WHICH YOU’RE NOT):
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how to navigate disconnection when things feel “off” but you’re not sure anything happened
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how to address conflict if the other says nothing is wrong
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how to speak up about the hard things or tips on addressing conflict - instead of shutting down, staying quiet, or brushing it under the rug
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how do you reach out to people you want to befriend without it feeling super awkward
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when to draw the line between sharing things and putting too much onto the other person listening without them feeling annoyed.
We’re going after it this week! This episode is so good AND it also gives you a glimpse inside our Thrive community. The summer doors are OPEN and you can get your first month free using the code THRIVE TODAY. Head to comealivelifecoaching.com/thrive
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content onhow to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
Hi friend! I'm Chantelle Nelson — wife, mom of 3, therapeutic life coach, and your host for the Own It Podcast. In our first episode, we're diving into "The Art of Showing Up."
HIGHLIGHTS
Who Am I?
- I'm passionate about helping you thrive, not just survive. With a Master's in Counseling Psychology and years of coaching over 150 women, I'm here to guide you and grow WITH you!
What Does It Mean to Show Up?
- Life gives us two choices: show up or check out. I explore why showing up to your life is a game-changer.
Barriers to Showing Up:
- We'll tackle common obstacles like unprocessed pain, overwhelming life demands, and the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
Why It Matters:
- Showing up connects you deeply with your life and the people in it. It brings peace, stability, connection, and creativity.
Get ready for some therapeutic wisdom and practical tips to help you own your life! Subscribe, rate, and review the podcast, and join the conversation using #OwnItPodcast. Let's get started!
WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content onhow to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
I don’t know about you, but I often feel consumed by stress in my current season. My life is non-stop and demands my attention in every area and sometimes it feels so overwhelming. Today, I want to break down a concept that changed my life and how I move through stressful moments and seasons and that is THE STRESS CYCLE. I’m tackling the stress cycle head-on and exploring healthy ways to combat stress.
HIGHLIGHTS:
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Physical and Psychological Effects of Stress: Discover the immediate and long-term impacts of stress on our bodies and minds. From increased heart rate to mental health challenges, we'll unpack it all.
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Understanding the Stress Cycle: Get to know the ins and outs of the stress cycle, from perceiving stressors to completing the cycle and finding resolution.
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Key Points in Managing the Stress Cycle: Learn practical strategies for recognizing stressors, developing healthy coping mechanisms, promoting recovery, and addressing unresolved stress.
WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.
Let’s dive into the fascinating world of our nervous systems and stress responses in this must-listen episode. I’m pulling back the curtain on one of my favorite things to talk about: our nervous systems and how they impact our everyday life. It’s time we learn and befriend the body and system God put us into!
HIGHLIGHTS:
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Explore the nervous system: Learn how it orchestrates everything from basic functions to complex emotions.
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Unveil the components: Discover the central nervous system (CNS) and peripheral nervous system (PNS) and their vital roles.
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Get savvy with stress: Understand acute vs. chronic stress and common triggers that keep us on our toes.
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Decipher the stress response: Delve into the 'fight or flight' reaction and the sympathetic nervous system's role in gearing us up for action.
Tune in for nerdy insights, relatable stories, and practical tips to befriend your body and thrive in life.
WHERE TO CONNECT WITH ME:
Follow me on social media @chantelleenelson and visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more info on how to work with me!
In this episode, we're answering YOUR questions. We popped a question box on Instagram and had you send in your questions. In part 1 of 2, we're answering your dating, marriage, and relationship questions. Everything from answering, "Did you ever breakup?" to "What's your most embarrassing moment with your spouse?"
Join us for lots of laughter and, as always, deep and honest conversation about complex things!
Marriage. Counseling. Pain. Triggers. Healing. Parenting. This episode has allllll the good stuff. Join us for part two of the amazing talk we did at an arts academy for creatives. During this episode, we answer some incredible questions like, “What are the benefits of counseling?”, “Did you notice red flags before you started dating?”, “How did the 6-year age difference affect your relationship?”, “How do you bring God into your marriage?” and more!! We’re not trying to toot our own horns, but this episode is a really good one that you won’t want to miss!
Marriage is hard. It’s beautifully rewarding, but having a connected marriage doesn’t just happen. It takes a whole lot of choosing and intentionality between two people who are willing to lay down their lives for the other. We came into marriage with baggage of our own that we had to work through in order to build the marriage we have today. Join us for a two-part episode that we recorded when we spoke at an arts academy for creatives here in town. We get real, raw, and honest about marriage, pain, healing, triggers, and so much more!
Here is a candid conversation about the realities of marriage that not everyone talks about. If you’re single and you want to get married, this episode is for you! Chantelle and Donta talk honestly about the image of marriage - from church, media, how we were raised - that is often misleading and untrue. What does marriage really look like? How do you know if it’s for you? How do you become the person you want to be before you get married?
If you’re a woman who wants to get married but feel like there are personal blocks that are keeping you stuck in cycles of unhealthy relationships, Life Coaching might be for you! Head to www.comealivelifecoaching.com and schedule a FREE Discovery Call with Chantelle!
In marriage, you often dream together, but there are also personal dreams you go after inside of marriage. Maybe it’s starting a business or going after a passion project. Maybe it’s taking a class or going back to school. In this episode, Chantelle and Donta process what it looks like to go after your individual needs in the context of marriage. What does it look like? How does it impact your relationship?
Donta also talks about the launch of his business Donta Nelson Creatives. If you’re someone who wants to discover your creative identity, but feel the blocks of fear, imposter syndrome, or using your creativity as an escape, Creative Life Coaching with Donta might be for you! Head to www.dontanelson.com/discoverycall to schedule a FREE Discover Call!
Well, the title gives it away but YES! We’re pregnant with baby #3! In this week’s episode, Donta and Chantelle talk all about the first trimester, including Mcdonald's cravings, extreme exhaustion, and unpredictable mood swings. They also talk about vulnerability and how powerful it is when we show up in our relationships in such a way that it costs us when we’re open and honest and the beauty it brings to our connections with people.
Having kids has been one of the greatest blessings in our marriage! That being said, when you have kids, the time slots for connection and to process through stuck points and disagreements are a lot smaller. Your time, energy, and emotional capacity are not just reserved for your spouse anymore so you have to be intentional about making space for each other. Here’s an honest conversation about what it looks like for us to stay connected in our marriage with small kids.
If you were to have seen us a few weeks into our dating relationship, you would have cringed and rolled your eyes at our attempt to bring the God we both loved into our relationship. It was clunky and laughable. But it was our dream to have God be the center of everything we did in our dating relationship and into engagement and marriage. Today, we’re having an honest conversation about what it looks like to bring God into our marriage - it’s practical, humbling, insightful, and you won’t want to miss it.
When we got married back in 2016, we were head over heels for each other - Thank God we still are! But along the way, we experienced pain in our marriage that could've been prevented well before we said "I do." There's no shame in facing hard things in marriage. Life experiences can bring up dormant emotional blockage but we get to decide what we do with it! We hope that this podcast will inspire single people to face hard things before they meet the person of their dreams and also encourage current relationships that may be experiencing blindsiding moments in their marriage. No matter where you're at in your healing journey, there is enough hope available for us all!
Finding inspiration in our life isn’t about luck or chance - it’s a choice to find things that inspire us in every season and circumstance. Sometimes inspiration comes upon us and other times, we have to go looking for it. Join us for a conversation on how we personally find inspiration in our everyday life and how we steward seasons where we don’t feel inspired.
Finding your people can be hard! We understand the complex reality of finding community and the time it takes to invest in something that you're not sure will work out in the long run. We know that vulnerability doesn't always come easy and that real people can be challenging. Lol! We hope, through hearing some of our real stories, that you'll be inspired to dive deep with people and begin to create thriving friendships wherever you are.
What do you feel when you hear the word “trigger?” We've all had them. Life’s experiences, painful or traumatic moments, and everyday experiences can create the perfect storm for us to form triggers in our own lives, leading us to feel powerless and unsafe in everyday environments. But there is HOPE! There are ways to regain your power and take back what was stolen - your freedom. We are all called to live beautiful lives, and triggers are the “check engine” lights to show us where what needs our immediate attention. In this episode, we unpack and explore the realm of “emotional triggers” and how to face them when they come up.
We believe in God being a Father who gives good gifts to His children, or so we thought we did! It wasn't until our faith was challenged in a entirely new way that shifted our way of thinking. We now dream bigger than ever in our marriage. Who would've thought that it would happen through us taking a risk on what we hoped to be God-inspired choices?
We’re a husband and wife team dedicated to helping people engage life like a boss. Real life is not black and white, but we get to decide how we show up in it! It is why we're passionate about living inspired, showing up wholeheartedly to faith & family, all while facing life’s demands… which can make reality Complex.