Girrrl... Can I Ask You Something?: Recent Episodes
Rhumel and Twanda, Girlfriends talk about marriage kids relationships careers and everything in between, GirrrlPodcast
Two long-time friends talk about all the things that girlfriends talk about: love, husbands, kids, careers, things-you-only-discuss-with-girlfriends, and other daily adventures. We invite you to eavesdrop on our laugh-out-loud conversations tackling every day life topics.
Recorded Sept 4, 2023
We were sitting around thinking out loud on how we've continued to expand our where two girlfriends are chit-chatting about the surprising evolution of our friendship circle then this is the episode for you. Join us!
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Recorded August 6, 2023
Spoiler Alert! Rhumel and Twanda are about to spill the tea the Netflix movie "They Cloned Tyrone." It's a satisfying mix of conspiracy, sci-fi, comedy, and mystery that managed to earn a thumbs up from both hosts. With Twanda and Rhumel as your guides, you're in for a wild ride of character dynamics, unexpected twists, hidden gems, and lots of laughs. Join us.
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Recorded July 24, 2023
In this exciting podcast episode, we're taking you on the wild ride that was our first international trip, and boy, did we have an amazing adventure! Get ready to join us as we take you through the traveling woes and our hilarious attempts to communicate with the locals. The adventure doesn't end there; we'll dive into the breathtaking Amazon forest and share our awe-inspiring experiences at the forest retreat.
One of the most profound moments of our journey was participating in the plant medicine ceremonies, specifically Ayahuasca. We'll reveal our thoughts and emotions before, during, and after these spiritual experiences, giving you a glimpse of its transformative impact on us.
This trip was a life-changing adventure that left us with unforgettable memories, brand new life friends, and personal growth. So, kick back, relax, and join us on this incredible journey into the heart of Peru!
url: Living Life Limitlessly - Althea's Retreat Business
url: Sitting in Ceremony with Plant Medicine: Our Ayahuasca Journey Part 1
url: Sitting in Ceremony with Plant Medicine: Our Ayahuasca Journey Part 2
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Recorded February 27, 2022
Guest notes:
Jenniver Stafford is a Business Analyst by day and a travel enthusiast by night. With over 20 years of travel experience, she told us she has turned her hobby into a lifestyle. Travel and I quote is her "favorite thing to do".
"As you travel solo, being totally responsible for yourself, it is inevitable that you will discover how capable you are." - unknown
Questions/Topics:
- Is solo travel among women a new trend or are we just noticing it?
- What piece of advice would you give to someone considering traveling internationally alone?
- Where is the best place to research safety information about a particular country?
- In addition to your family having your itinerary, can we expect the hotel help check in with you?
- Is there anything you learned about yourself in your solo travels?
- Personal questions, do you exhibit an alter ego on your trips?
- Are there some common safety mistakes less-seasoned travelers tend to make?
- Were there any places where you didn't feel welcomed or for whatever reason don't want to go back?
- Is there someplace you've been that felt very single-lady-friendly?
- Are there travel agents who are better at helping people who are planning to travel solo?
- What does a solo trip look like for Jenniver? Give us the play by play to your strategy for getting the lay of the land.
Mentions:
Guest
- Text or Call (Best Method): 760-504-5752
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Recorded June 17, 2023
In this episode, Twanda and Rhumel embark on a journey through the Netflix series "Queen Charlotte," exploring the portrayal of the enigmatic historical figure. We delve into the historical context, shedding light on Queen Charlotte's lineage and her marriage to King George III. Our discussion focuses on the characterization of Queen Charlotte in the series, examining the complexities and strengths of her character. We also explore the themes addressed in the show, including power, gender, and race, and reflect on their relevance in today's society. Twanda and Rhumel, share their thoughts on the series. Twanda, an avid fan, loved the about the historical context, captivating portrayal, and thought-provoking themes, while Rhumel offers his honest take on what didn't quite hit the mark. If you are a fan like Twanda or like Rhumel where Queen Charlotte was not quite your thing, you will enjoy the fun discussion. Tune in.
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded May 22, 2023
Hey there, podcast fam! Get ready to dive into a celestial journey like no other on our latest episode. We've got a stellar treat for you as we unpack the enchanting realm of angels with the incredible Kelly Nembhard!
In this episode, we debunk myths, uncover fascinating tidbits about guardian angels and archangels, and even unveil angels' roles in various religions. We also dig into some practical tips on how to connect with these heavenly beings. So grab your headphones, sit back, and join us on this divine adventure as we uncover the secrets of angels and make your spiritual journey a little more magical!
Guest notes:
Kelly Nembhard is an energy healer, board-certified health and wellness coach, and angel intuitive. She is passionate about helping people develop self-care that helps them live their authentic self and pursue their divine purpose. Sometimes living your authentic self feels like a daunting and lonely journey, especially during these challenging times. As an angel intuitive, Kelly not only reminds people that they have angels ready and wanting to help but also helps them to begin working with angels to make their life journey easier.
Mentions:
Guest
- Website: The Earth Angel Path
- Website: My Wealth in Health Reiki, Crystal Healing, Wellness Coaching, & Aromatherapy
- Phone: (919) 937-2512
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded May 8, 2023
In this episode of our podcast, we discuss mental health in the African American community. Mental illness can affect anyone, but African Americans face unique challenges when seeking help. We explore the role of the Black Church in mental health treatment and the important work of Taraji P. Henson and her Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation, which provides mental health resources for the African American community. Our goal is to raise awareness, break down stigmas, and offer mental health resources to those who need them.
Please support our podcast:
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Dec 11, 2022
Questions/Topics:
"My definition of fearlessness is not letting fear stand in the way of my destiny!" Our past guest, Dr. Stephanie Brown, discusses with us the 9 Steps to Becoming Fearless. Those steps are: Acknowledge your fear, Confront it, Use positive self talk, Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, Make being brave a habit, Practice mindfulness, Find a mentor, Embrace failure, and Don't aim for perfection. You are more powerful than your fear Sis! Join us as we talk about it!
Guest notes:
Dr. Brown is an ICF credentialed professional certified coach . She specializes in working with professional women who desire to show up as their best selves and are motivated to overcome whatever is holding them back in reaching their professional and personal goals. Dr. Brown is recognized as a Top 1% Life Coach by Yahoo finance. Stephanie’s coaching philosophy is based on the knowledge that challenging one’s thoughts and beliefs is key to shifting our energy which allows us to move forward with actions that lead to the joy and success that we desire. Her signature coaching membership is called Queens Realign Coaching and is a space for Black professional women to receive coaching, accountability in a supportive group as they learn techniques and tools to help them achieve their goals.
Detailed notes:
Acknowledge fear: Go deeper. This means looking at fears we don't necessarily know we have - like fear of disappointing our parents or being judged. The fears we don't want to acknowledge keep us stuck. Action: Confront it. Say to fear: I know you are here, I know you are trying to protect me but I don't need you any more. You only have the power I give you so I'm taking away your power.
Use positive self talk: Use affirmations. Using positive words and thoughts you tend to see better outcomes.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable: Growth is often outside of our comfort zone. Embrace opportunities to become uncomfortable. Your body responds the same way whether you are excited or afraid so just tell yourself to process these feelings as excitement instead of fear.
Make being brave a habit: Practicing anything makes you better at it. Keep getting better. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Practice mindfulness: Mindful activities like meditation, journaling, and yoga help you be present with your authentic self which the place where you actually deal with the fear.
Find a mentor: Find someone who is fearless in the way you want to be fearless and learn from them.
Embrace failure: Erase the shame that is associated with failure and look at it more objectively. Failure is part of your path to success. It's another informative step in your progression towards the goal. It represents an opportunity for learning that takes you closer to your destination.
Don't aim for perfection: People tend not to try if they don't think they will do something perfectly, Don't get caught up in the paralysis of analysis.
Guest:
- Instagram: @stephaniebrowncoaching
- Website: www.sbcoaching.club
- Facebook: @stephaniebrowncoaching
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded April 4, 2022
In this episode, Twanda and Rhumel find themselves sandwiched between parenting their adult children and navigating changing relationships with their own parents. We dive into the dynamics of parent-child relationships and touch on common challenges, like communication breakdowns and role reversal. Aging can also have a big impact on relationships, so we discuss how to navigate those changes and the importance of communication.
Learning how to cultivate healthy relationships with parents and adult children can be tough, but in this fun episode, we share our strategies with you! We talk about active listening with empathy, setting boundaries, making time for shared activities, being patient and forgiving, and adjusting your expectations and behaviors to better support your loved ones.
Overall, this episode is a great sharing session for anyone looking to improve their relationships with both their aging parents and adult children. Tune in for valuable insights and advice!
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded March 20 , 2022
It's time for some Spring Cleaning! Instead of closets, baseboards, and garages, this year we are looking to get rid of what doesn't serve us in our thoughts. If you too experience some negative self-talk from time to time, this episode is for you. Today we discuss the new manifestation technique referred to on social media as #LuckyGirlSyndrome. Videos with this hashtag provide tips, tricks and insights into how to use this new mindset shift to start living your luckiest life. According to Life Coach Rachelle Indra, the neuroscience behind ‘Lucky Girl Syndrome’ involves the reticular activating system in our brain (RAS for short) that helps us process the information and stimuli around us. Each day, the RAS asks us what we want to focus on, and when we are feeding our brain the same information (“I am so lucky”, “life is always working out in my favor”), it will naturally start to look for that information as you go about your day. In other words, if you keep calling yourself lucky, you’ll eventually rewire your thoughts and cultivate experiences that align with these affirmations in your daily life. Who couldn't use a little more luck? Join us as we discuss how we will adopt technique in our daily lives.
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Recorded: March 6, 2023
We stumbled across Chris Rock's Live Netflix airing of his new set, "Selective Outrage". Among other things Chris Rock finally responds publicly to the Slap Heard 'Round The World. We learned some new things: Chris is still hurt about the slap, he is comfortable making us cringe, and, despite efforts not to take the set personally, we were outraged, annoyed, and offended by content we chose to spend 1 hour and 9 minutes watching. We waited until we were recording to dig into our conversation about it so that we could share our thoughts in the moment with you. Join us!
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Recorded February 19, 2022
As promised, the following podcast notes were generated by artificial Intelligence. The text AI generated summarized the topics we discuss in this episode. Please note, you will find our cloned-voice conversation at the 45:04 point. Keep in mind we used free accounts and you get what you pay for. We hope to spark an interest in you for exploring this AI world that is rapidly expanding all around us. Most of all though, we hope you enjoy the conversation. Thanks for listening.
Prompt: create a brief summary discussing podcast uses for AI including original article writing, original art, and voice cloning. use an informal, lively and bubbly tone
Hey there! Are you curious about how AI is taking over the podcast game? Well, let me tell you, it's pretty dang impressive!
AI is shaking things up when it comes to creating content, especially in the fields of writing articles, original art, and voice cloning. Thanks to natural language processing algorithms, machines can now create human-like language for high-quality articles, making it easier than ever to create content without spending hours writing.
But that's not all! AI is also kicking butt when it comes to creating original artwork with just a few simple inputs, making it easier for artists to create unique and complex pieces of art that really stand out.
And if that's not enough to blow your mind, check this out! AI-powered voice cloning tools can create realistic voice replicas of individuals using only a few minutes of their voice recordings. This is perfect for podcasting and audio book production, as it can significantly reduce the time and effort required to produce high-quality audio content.
So there you have it, folks! AI is the future of content creation, and it's taking over the podcasting world by storm!
Mentions:
url: chat.openai.com This the ChatGPT. We used this tool to generate text.
url: midjourney.com Tool Rhumel used to generate original art (for fee).
url: Trilzo Youtube Video - Twanda's Kid's video on voice cloning.
url: Resemble.ai Voice cloning tool Twanda used.
url: Descript Voice cloning tool Rhumel used.
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Recorded February 2, 2023
It's not unusual for people in our stage of life to feel like we have life all figured out and whatever we haven't figured out we've given up on. If you can agree with that statement in any way this episode is for you. We are actively combatting the urge to see life as stale and predictable and instead we are chasing childlike joy. That's right, seeking fun activities, viewing familiar things from a new perspective, teaching old dogs new tricks, being super curious and laughing more. Those happy kids on the playground have it right. Join us as we explore ways to tap into our joyful inner child!
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Recorded January 22 , 2022
Questions/Topics:
One shared tiktok with a quote by John C. Maxwell set off a nearly 40 minute conversation about how people change in 4 different seasons:
1) When they HURT enough that they HAVE to
2) When they SEE enough they are INSPIRED to
3) When they LEARN enough that they WANT to
4) When they RECEIVE enough that they are ABLE to
As always it was a lively conversation. Join us!
Mentions:
Book: Failing Forward: How to Make the Most of Your Mistakes by John C. Maxwell
url: Our The Best Man the Final Chapter Discussion 1
url: Our The Best Man the Final Chapter Discussion 2
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded January 10, 2023
In today's episode we have an organic, authentic and revealing conversation about an article we came across titled, 9 'Taboo' Things That Can Actually Benefit Your Relationship. We recorded this without any pre-discussion about our individual views on the topics presented. Let's just say there were some Opps!-Did-I-say-that-on-the-recording! -((clutches pearls)) moments. lol. Enjoy our experienced but woefully unqualified (because we are not certified, licensed, or degreed in relationship counseling ) advice as we debunk (most of) these relationship taboos.
Questions/Topics:
Taboo No. 1: Sleeping in separate beds.
Taboo No. 2: Talking about your romantic pasts.
Taboo No. 3: Flirting with other people.
Taboo No. 4: Masturbating.
Taboo No. 5: Taking separate vacations.
Taboo No. 6: Going to bed angry.
Taboo No. 7: Talking openly about money.
Taboo No. 8: Watching porn.
Taboo No. 9: Keeping a secret from your partner.
Mentions:
url: 9 'Taboo' Things That Can Actually Benefit Your Relationship by Kelsey Borresen
url:Be an Agent of Change: Flirt with your Partner, Affirm Yourself, Exchange Positive Energy with Others
url: Turn up the heat with sex toys this Valentine's Day 127
url: Do you tell your partner EVERYTHING? E53
url:Mommy Retreats
Enrich your Life Series: Mommy Retreats E2
Travel: Mommy Retreats E55
Girls Trip - Aloha Edition E94
Book: 101 Nights of Great Sex (2020 Edition!): Secret Sealed Seductions For Fun-Loving Couples
Please support our podcast: Please rate/review, subscribe and share!! * Shop: Etsy store * Cashapp Tip Jar: $GirrrlPodcast * Donate*: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
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- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Dec 11, 2022
Questions/Topics:
"My definition of fearlessness is not letting fear stand in the way of my destiny!" Our past guest, Dr. Stephanie Brown, discusses with us the 9 Steps to Becoming Fearless. Those steps are: Acknowledge your fear, Confront it, Use positive self talk, Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, Make being brave a habit, Practice mindfulness, Find a mentor, Embrace failure, and Don't aim for perfection. You are more powerful than your fear Sis! Join us as we talk about it!
Guest notes:
Dr. Brown is an ICF credentialed professional certified coach . She specializes in working with professional women who desire to show up as their best selves and are motivated to overcome whatever is holding them back in reaching their professional and personal goals. Dr. Brown is recognized as a Top 1% Life Coach by Yahoo finance. Stephanie’s coaching philosophy is based on the knowledge that challenging one’s thoughts and beliefs is key to shifting our energy which allows us to move forward with actions that lead to the joy and success that we desire. Her signature coaching membership is called Queens Realign Coaching and is a space for Black professional women to receive coaching, accountability in a supportive group as they learn techniques and tools to help them achieve their goals.
Detailed notes:
Acknowledge fear: Go deeper. This means looking at fears we don't necessarily know we have - like fear of disappointing our parents or being judged. The fears we don't want to acknowledge keep us stuck. Action: Confront it. Say to fear: I know you are here, I know you are trying to protect me but I don't need you any more. You only have the power I give you so I'm taking away your power.
Use positive self talk: Use affirmations. Using positive words and thoughts you tend to see better outcomes.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable: Growth is often outside of our comfort zone. Embrace opportunities to become uncomfortable. Your body responds the same way whether you are excited or afraid so just tell yourself to process these feelings as excitement instead of fear.
Make being brave a habit: Practicing anything makes you better at it. Keep getting better. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Practice mindfulness: Mindful activities like meditation, journaling, and yoga help you be present with your authentic self which the place where you actually deal with the fear.
Find a mentor: Find someone who is fearless in the way you want to be fearless and learn from them.
Embrace failure: Erase the shame that is associated with failure and look at it more objectively. Failure is part of your path to success. It's another informative step in your progression towards the goal. It represents an opportunity for learning that takes you closer to your destination.
Don't aim for perfection: People tend not to try if they don't think they will do something perfectly, Don't get caught up in the paralysis of analysis.
Guest:
- Instagram: @stephaniebrowncoaching
- Website: www.sbcoaching.club
- Facebook: @stephaniebrowncoaching
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
- Cashapp Tip Jar: $GirrrlPodcast
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded November 27 , 2022
This week Althea Lawton-Thompson, Mind-Body specialist, and four time guest joins us (again) to talk about plant medicine. You may remember her from our Plant Medicine episode where she explains what plant medicines are and what they do. In this second half of the two-part episode, Rhumel, Twanda and Althea discuss their specific experiences while sitting in ceremony with plant medicine together. Join us.
Mentions:
- Episode 164: Sitting in Ceremony with Plant Medicine: Our Ayahuasca Journey Part 1
- Episode 129: Plant Medicine (with Althea Lawton-Thompson)
Guest
- Instagram: @AltheaLawtonThompson
- Website: https://altheaLawtonThompson.com
- link tree: Althea Lawton-Thompson
Please support our podcast:
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- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded November 27 , 2022
This week Althea Lawton-Thompson, Mind-Body specialist, and four time guest joins us (again) to talk about plant medicine. You may remember her from our Plant Medicine episode where she explains what plant medicines are and what they do. In this 2-part episode, Rhumel, Twanda and Althea begin to discuss their experiences with sitting in ceremony with plant medicine together. Join us.
Review Topics:
- What are plant medicines
- Why do people take Ayahuasca?
- How did we individually decide to sit with the medicine?
- Why do people take Ayahuasca multiple times?
- Is Ayahuasca just another way to get high?
- Who shouldn't consume Ayahuasca?
Mentions:
- Episode 129: Plant Medicine (with Althea Lawton-Thompson)
Guest
- Instagram: @AltheaLawtonThompson
- Website: https://altheaLawtonThompson.com
- link tree: Althea Lawton-Thompson
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
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- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Monday, November 14, 2022
Trevor Noah put out a Reel on Instagram suggesting that men are not emotionally transparent nor vulnerable with their male friends and because of this they are missing out on an important and fulfilling aspect of friendship. Being the curious creature we are, we asked about 17 men in our circles about non-romantic intimacy with their male friends. Oh the responses we got! Join us as we discuss what we learned from our friends on this issue.
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Recorded October 26, 2022
Questions/Topics:
Guest notes:
Quotes:
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram:
- Podcast/Website:
- Youtube:
- Twitter:
- Facebook:
url:
url:
url:
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded Oct 17, 2022
(Spoilers in the episode not the description)
If you've watched the Woman King Movie, and are dying to talk about like we were, then this is the episode for you! We've each watched it twice (so far) and loved, loved, loved it. In this episode, we discuss the parts of the movie that moved us to tears or cheers, the scenes we enjoyed most, and the controversy surrounding it. Kick back and join us!
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Recorded Oct 8, 2022
This month we welcome Season 4 of our podcast. With this season we will see one major change in how we operate. We are moving to a twice a month format. That's a new great episode every other week. We are excited to continue to bring you quality content this season. Grab your pumpkin spice filled mug and join us for a few laughs.
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Recorded Oct 2, 2022
Though we were today-years-old when we heard the term “Plant-based curious”, we immediately knew that term described who we are right now. In our sincere efforts to “Live our best lives”, we know we have to make healthier nutritional choices…but we had so many questions:
How do you transition yourself and your family to a plant-based diet?
Where can I find recipes to kickstart my new goal to get more veggies on my plate?
What’s the difference between plant-based and vegetarian?
Do Vegans get invited to the cookout? What do you bring/eat at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner?
We asked these and many more questions of our guest speaker, LA Dunn. LA is a plant-based advocate who created the Black Girls Eat platform to encourage Black women and families to go green in order to use food and knowledge to fight diabetes, obesity, heart disease and inflammation.
LA said, "I don't like words like die-ts, I'm here to live it!" It's obvious in our conversation that she is skilled in motivating others to take some simples steps to get started. Who knew talking about eating more fruits and vegetables could be so enjoyable?
Pull up a chair and join in the fun.
Guest:
- Instagram: @BlackGirlsEat
- Website: BlackGirlsEat.Com
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Recorded March 6, 2021
Guest notes:
Dara Segbefia, Interior Decorator (but we call her a House Whisperer)
Questions/Topics:
How did you get started in the decorating?
What's the difference Interior Design and Interior Decorating?
What's the process for engaging with you?
How do you take a client from a magazine clipping to a reality in their real space?
How do you deal with difficult clients? Have you ever had to fire a client?
Tell us about the pretty rocks (crystals) in many of your reveal pictures.
What if I don't have a big budget? If I only have $500 can you still help me?
How is cost determined?
Guest Quotes:
I ask a lot of personal questions [of the clients] because every room has energy in it. I ask, "How do you want to feel in this space"?
I ask questions to dig into who you really are then I find the core pieces that an speak your love language.
Every time I put a crystal in someone's home, they love the feeling. It's my way of reminding them that there is peace within their home.
I love to put at least one DYI item within every client's home to give it that personal touch. I'm really big on it. That's what I believe really set me apart from other interior decorators.
Patience has to be one of the main things with getting your space together. You don't want to rush buying furniture and then not be completely invested in it by the end. That's a common mistake. Don't rush!
When I bought my current house I hired an interior decorator to help me.... It was the best money I'd spent. When I tell you I never ever regretted any of the money I spent on my decorator at all... I didn't.
- Rhumel
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @mixxykreation
- Instagram: @TheMixxyExperience
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Recorded October 25, 2020
Guest notes:
Vernita Griffith is a wife, mother, MeeMee, entrepreneur, trainer, lover of family and an unshakable optimist dedicated to enriching relationships and shining a positive light on marriages.
I met Vernita at my church where She and her husband Ken are the leaders of the marriage ministry. I've attended a number of her workshops , y'all she is skilled at getting you to have fun while you learn and take on sometimes challenging content... and she is the bomb. Very passionate about her work. She truly seems to be doing her life's work.
Discussion Questions:
Did your husband come with an instruction manual?
Has your marriage met your expectations from the beginning to now?
At what point to you reset your expectations and what point to you stop compromising?
Is your spouse really broken or just not molded into the shape you want them to be?
What are the keys to communicating effectively in marriage?
Should you marry for love or friendship?
Quotes:
"I've been married about 24 years and around 15 years in I discovered how I was really part of the problem. I blamed him for 15 years!" - Rhumel
I blamed him for not doing what I wanted him to do. - Rhumel
It did take a while to figure out my husband is not a pushover, I can't tell him what to do... I tried! - Twanda
It's more about getting the groove of marriage and learning how to spend your life with another person. - Twanda
The key is always communication. It always boils down to whether you can talk to each other. - Vernita
I think as couples we don’t think enough in terms teams. – Vernita
My husband and I are on the same team and we are in it to win it together. - Vernita
Mentions:
Guest
- Podcast/Website: TriTeamUnited.com
- Show: AfterTheIDoShow.com
url: True Color Personality Assessment
url: Our Love Languages Episode
url: Enrich your Life Series: Mommy Retreats
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Recorded March 20, 2021
~This episode doesn't offer medical advice ~
We spoke with Dr. Stephanie Brown, a friend and previous podcast guest, about menopause. We took notes so we could share with you what we learned. You are going to want to hear this!
Questions/Topics:
What did your momma tell you about menopause to prepare you for where we are headed?
What are the common symptoms of menopause?
When did you realize you had begun "The Change" and what were your symptoms?
What treatments are available?
Mentions:
url: Letting Go to Level up! with Dr, Stephanie Brown
url: The Doctor is In - Dr. Simone from Bravo's Married to Medicine
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Recorded August 1, 2021
Nobody really wants to talk about death, but most of us would die more peacefully if we had our affairs in order. In this episode which focuses on estate planning, we learn about the tools we need to have in place to make the tough times easier for our loved ones. Our esteemed guest, Clifton Stancil is an attorney who specializes in asset planning. He's also Rhumel's dad. Attorney Stancil walks us through the maze of legal tools including, power of attorney, wills, and trusts.
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Recorded , 2022
Guest notes:
Shadé Shakur of Approaching Zenith helps moms and caregivers systemize their wellness so they can feel energized and stay soulfully aligned to live life joyfully while creating a legacy. Shadé is married with 4 children.
Guest
- Instagram: @ApproachZenith
- Website:ApprochingZenith.com
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Recorded , 2022
When we began this episode we intended to focus on how to flirt with your significant other. We indeed cover the what, why, when, and how of making your partner feel extra special, and we allowed the conversation lead us to discussing applying similar principles to other people including ourselves. See, here we define flirting as the harmonious exchange of positive energy. So when this is with your significant other it can be sensual or sexual. With the people you come across in your day it involves a smile, kindness, a compliment or joke. It's about raising the vibe of the people around you. Join us.
Guest notes:
Andrea Knowles is an educator, corporate trainer, wholistic practitioner, life long learner, explorer of self and the world, mother of three adult children who enjoy spending time with her. She is one of the coolest people we've ever met. We affectionately refer to her as a unicorn because she is unlike anyone else we've ever met. Her superpower is being the human form of love.
Mentions:
Guest
- Email: KnowlesConsultingGroup@gmail.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrea.knowles.750
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Recorded August 14, 2022
We kept hearing the term, "the Divine Feminine" dropped here and there but we didn't know what it meant. With help from our distinguished guest, Priestess Haneera Abounu, we learned that there is a need for balance among the feminine and masculine energies. When we (men or women) express too much of one energy, we experience an imbalance that plays out in our lives. When we live with balance, we have better communication and relationships and ultimately navigate our lives better as well.
While Priestess Haneera works with men, women, and families to achieve this balance, she specializes in working with women to help them incorporate the divine feminine principles into their lives for the purpose of restoring and strengthening the family structure.
Priestess Haneera Abounu used adjectives such as weak, submissive, and humble to characterize the divine feminine energy. She explained that there is strength in that weakness if you know how to harness it. She also said that feminine energy receives, transforms , creates, and implements structure. If you are wondering how these characteristics line up, pull up a chair and learn with us.
These days we are more masculine dominated in our lives and we need to lean more towards the middle.Guest
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/HaneeraAbounu/
- Podcast/Website: The Divine Feminine Podcast
- Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkPktwLh5v3AgWMqMNMFq4Q/videos
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/HaneeraAbounu/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012803413258
url: The Kybalion by Three Initiates Goes over the fundamental principles of existence. Read to help you understand your place in the order that we have.
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Recorded April 4, 2021
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible - Dalai Lama
Kindness is when you do something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return. It is being generous , thoughtful and helpful. Studies have shown that it has positive mind & body benefits for you the giver, the receiver, and for anyone who witnesses the act of kindness. (Who knew?!) What's more, kindness is contagious! People who are on the receiving end AND those who witness good deed tend to pay it forward, becoming agents of kindness as well. I don't know about you but this is the best contagious thing I've heard of in over a year.
Because self care is something we tend to have to remind ourselves to do, I was glad to hear that being kind to yourself provides the same great benefits. Talk about a win-win!
Being an agent of kindness doesn't have to cost a thing. Whether it is a compliment, sending a thank you note or letting someone in front of your at the grocery store or in traffic, small acts of kindness matter too.
Quotes:
"I always wished for a friend like you." -Candle Rhumel sent to Twanda
"We can be the agents of kindness" - Twanda
" I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing a kindness. Where it can be problematic is when you share the kindness for the wrong reasons. It has to do with the intent." - Rhumel
Rhumel on self-talk as a kindness: "Girrrl.... You and all your chins are looking fabulous today! Work that extra chin!"
"One of the best things is to actually take your kids no matter what the age out and do something kind for someone else. " - Rhumel
"Give genuine compliments. If their hair is jacked up don't compliment it as if it looks great." -Twanda
"I think if we are mindful of it, we can do more. Just remember even small things matter." -Rhumel
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Recorded July 31, 2022
In this episode we sat down with our good friend Jess to discuss each of our experiences learning about and practicing Reiki.
Guest notes:
Jessica Gray is a holistic wellness educator, meditation guide and reiki practitioner. In January 2018, Jessica founded Ascent Mind+Body Co. where she curates wellness experiences that inspire others to live a more balanced, focused and mindful life.
Jessica's most popular offering is her sound bath meditations where she intuitively leads her clients through a relaxing full-body listening experience.
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @heyjessgray
- Email: hello@ascentmindbody.com
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Recorded July 24, 2022
In today's episode we are discussing the scenarios which temp us to lie and how we handle such situations. We aren't liars per se however we do believe in the little white lie. We aren't liars per se but we do think there is value is omission for certain circumstances. If we are being honest, we aren't fully honest all the time yet we are perfectly fine with that. Join us.
The would-you-lie scenario list from this episode includes:
- Someone shows you their ugly baby
- Your friend's husband calls you looking for his wife who you suspect is cheating on him
- You see your friend's husband on what looks like a romantic date
- Your friend asks you what you think of her relationship ( and you think she needs a divorce)
- Your friend is super excited to move forward on her TERRIBLE idea
- Your resume needs a boost for this particular job. You you "embellish"?
- Would you lie about your summer vacation to "keep up with the Joneses"?
- You witness someone doing something wrong. Do you snitch?
- Do you lie by omission?
- Will you lie if you believe you can get away with it?
- Will you lie to protect someone's feelings?
- If the truth would hurt me do I really want the honest truth?
- If you believe someone is lying to you do you call them on it?
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Recorded July 21 , 2021
You don't need to have hair loss concerns to benefit from this episode. If the hair that grows out of your scalp is naturally kinky, tune in, this is for you.
Guest information:
Dr. Chesahna Kindred is a board-certified dermatologist, published research author, and national speaker. Soon after graduating from her dermatology residency at Howard University, she became a leading dermatologist at MedStar Health in the Baltimore area. Five years later, she founded Kindred Hair & Skin Center in Columbia, Maryland where she treats people of all ages and ethnicities. Dr. Kindred remains on the cutting-edge of hair loss treatment, performing Platelet Rich Plasma, or PRP, on a regular basis. Currently, she owns the only dermatology office with a full-service salon that specializes in hair loss.
Topic:
We invited Dr. Kindred to the show to speak to us about hair loss from her expertise as a dermatologist. Her medical practice is the first in our country to include a natural hair salon specifically for her hair loss patients. What we learned from Dr. Kindred was so much more than we expected and we loved all of it! In today's episode, we learned about the type of genetic hair loss (CCCA) that most often affects black women, how to identify a hair loss issue, who to reach out to for help, which hair beliefs are actually myths and how black women in executive positions can help normalize natural hair in the workplace. It was astounding to realize how much we didn't know about a topic that is so dear to us as black women.... our hair. And if that weren't enough, we got some bonus lessons in the importance of seeking out culture competent physicians for all our health needs.
Guest Quotes:
Patients fall through the gaps between what I do medically and what [hair] stylists are trained to do. This [hair salon] was the solution.
I need for our culture to be aware that there are now a decent number of culturally competent dermatologists that specialize in hair loss.
We will admit that our culture is a little too obsessed with neat edges. As if we all don't know that our hair is curly!
The way my hair grows out of my head is professional too!
There is data that says that if black patients are cared for by black doctors the patients live longer.
You can't pull on hair follicles like a tug of war and call it protective.
Every 'protective style' is not so protective.
Almost any style can be protective or detrimental.
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @kindrederm
- Website and Products: dermamyth.com
url: thecrownact.com
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Recorded July 10, 2022
With no training at all, many of us are naturally talented at identifying when others exhibit toxic behaviors. The question is, how easily can you detect your own toxic behaviors? In this episode we study a few articles to help us to self-identify which toxic behaviors we see in ourselves. We're always up for some laugh out loud self-introspection. Join us.
Mentions:
url: 30 Toxic Behaviors That Should Have No Place In Your Life
url: THE TOXIC PERSON TEST
url: E142 - Is Toxic Femininity Real?
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Recorded July 3, 2022
Embracing the Gray is all about us enjoying the benefits of growing older. Sure, there is a lot we can complain about (and we have), but today we wanted to highlight the good stuff. In this episode we focus on the "gems" wisdom provides. Join us.
url: No Regrets episode
url: No Regrets Part 2 episode
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Recorded June 25 , 2022
Women's rights and freedoms took a major step backwards this week in America as the Supreme Court overturned Roe vs Wade.
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Recorded June 20, 2022
Questions/Topics:
Guest notes:
Career pivoting after 40.
url: Mahogany | African-American Cards, Gifts & Ornaments
url: https://culturegreetings.com/
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Recorded June 13, 2022
Here's the thing. We totally appreciate the sentiment behind making Juneteenth a holiday. We know it was an attempt to acknowledge and support Black people in America. The thing about American holidays though, is that, as a rule, holidays will be commercialized and in the case of Juneteenth, the commercialization is not uplifting. We honestly think it would have been better NOT to make it a holiday. There are a number of racially inequitable systems in America that desperately need attention (like Health Care, Financial and Educational to name a few) much more than the need for a day off work and some poorly branded Juneteenth ice-cream. Oooh and wait till you hear the true story near the end! Y'all we are straight up venting today. We invite you to join us!
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Recorded June 6 , 2022
You know you are old when..... (fill in the blank). That right there is the episode and we had so much fun doing it. If you live long enough stuff breaks down and/or acts different. Heck, if you aren't getting older, you are dead so you might as well laugh with us through this life journey.
Mentions:
url: Flex Alexander's TikTok Feed: Welcome to your 50s
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Recorded May 30, 2022
Have you heard references about the Red and Blue Pill? What about the manosphere? How about this one, "toxic femininity"?There is a disturbing movement in full swing and we feel like we are just now grasping the depth of the issue and its potentially devastating ramifications on romantic relationships.
Red Pill - Willingness to learn an unsettling or life-changing truth (about women)
Blue pill - Remain in contented ignorance (about the women)
The "truth" being referred to here is a profoundly negative perspective on the modern, independent woman. If what I'm learning is true, there is a distinct hostility among those in the dating world. We just want to make sure you, our listeners, are in the know.
url: My Brush With The Black Manosphere by Nicole Young
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Recorded 2/2/22
Questions/Topics:
What is Plant Medicine?
In this conversation we are discussing psychoactive plants. There are plants that have properties in them such as magic mushrooms (psilocybin ), Ayahuasca (DMT - similar to what you see in LSD except occurring naturally),peyote -a cactus (mescaline ) and Iboga (Ibogaine) that are used for journeying and for physical, mental, and emotional healing. Ceremonially these entheogens are used for spiritual healing. Entheogen - Naturally occurring psychoactive substances that grow on their own.
Plant medicine is different from recreational drugs right?
What do you mean when you say the plants have mind-altering properties?
If it truly helps people connect to their spirituality, helps break unhealthy addictions, heals PTSD and depression, why is it illegal in the US?
Since Will and Jada Smith publicly mentioned journeying with Ayahuasca it seems to be more popular. Can you tell us about this plant medicine?
**FUN FACT: All of the aforementioned plant medicines are legal in Oregon.
What does "journeying" mean?
Are there some people who should stay away from plant medicine?
What can people who are currently on mental health medications do if they are interested in plant medicine? Is there an option for them?
Where can someone safely have a journey?
Where can I get more information?
How did you learn so much about plant medicine?
How can you work FamU in this conversation? (Not a real question but somehow FamU was mentioned)
How can one determine if plant medicine is for them?
Guest notes:
Quotes:
"When you have research hospitals like John Hoskins Hospitals, University Hospitals micro-dosing psilocybin, ayahuasca, ibogaine for their psychiatric patients and for their clients and patients with addictions and cancer and they are saying, 'Look at how efficacious this is'; It's only a matter of time until it is legal like marijuana. "
-Althea Lawton-Thompson
Guest contact info and mentions:
url: Link tree with all relevant links in one place: All things Althea
url: Specific to retreats: AltheaRetreats.com
url: Althea's Pre-recorded free presentation on Plant Medicine
url: August 2022, Sacred Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru (Free information session on March 6,2022)
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Recorded May 16, 2022
It's nearly half-way through 2022, how are your resolutions coming along? Laugh with us as we provide a progress report on our own start-of-the-year goals. Spoiler alert: Our resolutions had to resurrected from the dead, but in the end, there is a beautiful story of success and hope. Join us.
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Recorded May 9, 2022
If there is one thing I got from this episode is that adulthood involves navigating a lot of anxiety producing situations and that it would have been nice to have invited a therapist on the episode to describe healthy ways to address the issues we unearthed. Ok that was two things but they are important take-aways from this show. With May being Mental Health month, it's a good time to acknowledge any fears that are negatively impacting our daily lives and dedicate some time working toward overcoming them. That said, we still had a laugh-out-loud good time revealing our more light-hearted but very real fears. Join us!
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Recorded May 2, 2022
Comparison is the Thief of Joy. Everyday that we scroll through social media (as just one example) we expose ourselves to the potential for it. Social media is an easy example. The issue is cultural. It's the American way to want to keep up with the Jones' or should I say the Kardashians. Rather than succumb to the temptation to determine our worth in comparison to others, we discuss healthier methods of self-evaluation and reflection. Grab a cup of tea and join the conversation.
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Recorded April 25, 2022
Is your friendship card full? In today's episode we explore our management of potential, new, old, and stale friendships as grown folks. Apparently our methods have grown as we have grown and we are pretty happy with how things have turned out. Please, join us for this joyful conversation.
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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Recorded April 17, 2022
May is Share a Story month. Story telling helps people connect with each other and helps us as individuals find our own voice. One of the foremost reasons we started this podcast is so that we could share and give a voice to women like us going through similar circumstances. It helps "US" be seen. So here we are, 3 years in, telling you our stories and hoping we are making a real connection with those who listen. Thanks for hanging out with us.
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Recorded April 10, 2022
Jazmine Sullivan wins a Grammy for a song on her Heaux Tales album and we HAAAAD to talk about it! If you haven't heard the whole album then you need to come journey down the vinyl with us as we discuss the collection of songs AND testimonies that make up Jazmine's newest musical project.
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Recorded April 4, 2022
Questions/Topics:
- What we missed while focusing on the Oscar's Slap
- Updates on the scandal
- What we learned from the Will book that sheds light on Will Smith's behavior
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded March 26, 2022
Episode Topic: Body Positivity - When you look in the mirror how do you feel?
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Recorded March 20, 2022
Questions/Topics:
Do you celebrate Women's History Month or International Women's Day?
Are these days inclusive?
President Obama, "History shows that when women and girls have access to opportunity, societies are more just, economies are more likely to prosper, and governments are more likely to serve the needs of all their people.”
Please support our podcast:
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- Feedback form: Ask a question or leave a comment
Tameka Fryer Brown
Children’s Book Author
MY COLD PLUM LEMON PIE BLUESY MOOD
Illustrated by Shane W. Evans
Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House
ISBN-10: 0670012858 / ISBN-13: 978-0670012855
AROUND OUR WAY ON NEIGHBORS’ DAY
Illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb
Abrams Books for Young Readers
ISBN-13: 978-0-8109-8971-9
BROWN BABY LULLABY
Illustrated by AG Ford
FSG/Macmillan
ISBN-10: 0374307520 / ISBN-13: 978-0374307523
Tameka Fryer Brown (a native of Miami, Florida) has called Charlotte, North Carolina home for over 20 years. Brown’s first literary accomplishment as a children’s book writer came when she was awarded one of two First Prizes in the 2008 Cheerios® Spoonfuls of Stories® New Author Contest. Her debut picture book, Around Our Way on Neighbors’ Day, was published by Abrams Books for Young Readers and illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb. To date, it has sold over 100,000 copies, a great number having been purchased by New York’s Board of Education.
My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood is Brown’s second picture book. It is published by Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House and illustrated by the award-winning Shane W. Evans. Its awards and accolades include a Charlotte Zolotow Honor Award for excellence in picture book text, and designations as a Bank Street College Best Book, a CCBC Choices Best Book, and one of NYPL’s 100 Titles for Reading and Sharing. Her work is also featured in the much heralded We Rise, We Resist, We Raise Our Voices, published by Crown Books for Young Readers in partnership with Just Us Books.
In January of 2020, Brown’s third book, Brown Baby Lullaby was published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux/Macmillan. In the story, Momma and Papi struggle to get through the evening's routine with their high-energy toddler—but they wouldn’t have their sweet, brown baby any other way. Twelve Dinging Doorbells, Brown’s fourth book and a celebration of Black family gatherings, will be published by Kokila/PRH in 2022. For more information, visit tamekafryerbrown.com .
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/VJum1WXRLq2sTNzO6GxEHpMLnzMcymdW294YXPMpRRfjgqnmCoT1Fnd_gLb68dBqCA5p4g2dZbTQfRZXIu1Cz0hdlY0u5gEeECoC2SrOWdzsatRCXrXcDEmimMu38mUaQsi1jZFA1tzzTliB3g" alt="A picture containing text
Description automatically generated" />
Children’s Book Author
MY COLD PLUM LEMON PIE BLUESY MOOD
Illustrated by Shane W. Evans
Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House
ISBN-10: 0670012858 / ISBN-13: 978-0670012855
AROUND OUR WAY ON NEIGHBORS’ DAY
Illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb
Abrams Books for Young Readers
ISBN-13: 978-0-8109-8971-9
BROWN BABY LULLABY
Illustrated by AG Ford
FSG/Macmillan
ISBN-10: 0374307520 / ISBN-13: 978-0374307523
Tameka Fryer Brown (a native of Miami, Florida) has called Charlotte, North Carolina home for over 20 years. Brown’s first literary accomplishment as a children’s book writer came when she was awarded one of two First Prizes in the 2008 Cheerios® Spoonfuls of Stories® New Author Contest. Her debut picture book, Around Our Way on Neighbors’ Day, was published by Abrams Books for Young Readers and illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb. To date, it has sold over 100,000 copies, a great number having been purchased by New York’s Board of Education.
My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood is Brown’s second picture book. It is published by Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House and illustrated by the award-winning Shane W. Evans. Its awards and accolades include a Charlotte Zolotow Honor Award for excellence in picture book text, and designations as a Bank Street College Best Book, a CCBC Choices Best Book, and one of NYPL’s 100 Titles for Reading and Sharing. Her work is also featured in the much heralded We Rise, We Resist, We Raise Our Voices, published by Crown Books for Young Readers in partnership with Just Us Books.
In January of 2020, Brown’s third book, Brown Baby Lullaby was published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux/Macmillan. In the story, Momma and Papi struggle to get through the evening's routine with their high-energy toddler—but they wouldn’t have their sweet, brown baby any other way. Twelve Dinging Doorbells, Brown’s fourth book and a celebration of Black family gatherings, will be published by Kokila/PRH in 2022. For more information, visit tamekafryerbrown.com .
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/VJum1WXRLq2sTNzO6GxEHpMLnzMcymdW294YXPMpRRfjgqnmCoT1Fnd_gLb68dBqCA5p4g2dZbTQfRZXIu1Cz0hdlY0u5gEeECoC2SrOWdzsatRCXrXcDEmimMu38mUaQsi1jZFA1tzzTliB3g" alt="A picture containing text
Description automatically generated" />
Recorded March 6, 2022
Questions/Topics:
Red flags in relationships are discussed frequently but let's turn it around and talk about the green flags of friendship. What are the qualities of a (good) bff and how do you identify those qualities in the potential friends you meet? In this episode we review an article on the Green Flags of friendship and then we'll share own on tried and true methods for finding the people we vibe with. Spoiler alert, this is a warm and fuzzy episode. Who couldn't use more warm and fuzzy right now? Join us.
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Recorded February 27, 2022
Guest notes:
Jenniver Stafford is a Business Analyst by day and a travel enthusiast by night. With over 20 years of travel experience, she told us she has turned her hobby into a lifestyle. Travel and I quote is her "favorite thing to do".
"As you travel solo, being totally responsible for yourself, it is inevitable that you will discover how capable you are." - unknown
Questions/Topics:
- Is solo travel among women a new trend or are we just noticing it?
- What piece of advice would you give to someone considering traveling internationally alone?
- Where is the best place to research safety information about a particular country?
- In addition to your family having your itinerary, can we expect the hotel help check in with you?
- Is there anything you learned about yourself in your solo travels?
- Personal questions, do you exhibit an alter ego on your trips?
- Are there some common safety mistakes less-seasoned travelers tend to make?
- Were there any places where you didn't feel welcomed or for whatever reason don't want to go back?
- Is there someplace you've been that felt very single-lady-friendly?
- Are there travel agents who are better at helping people who are planning to travel solo?
- What does a solo trip look like for Jenniver? Give us the play by play to your strategy for getting the lay of the land.
Mentions:
Guest
- Text or Call (Best Method): 760-504-5752
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- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Recorded 2/2/22
Questions/Topics:
What is Plant Medicine?
In this conversation we are discussing psychoactive plants. There are plants that have properties in them such as magic mushrooms (psilocybin ), Ayahuasca (DMT - similar to what you see in LSD except occurring naturally),peyote -a cactus (mescaline ) and Iboga (Ibogaine) that are used for journeying and for physical, mental, and emotional healing. Ceremonially these entheogens are used for spiritual healing. Entheogen - Naturally occurring psychoactive substances that grow on their own.
Plant medicine is different from recreational drugs right?
What do you mean when you say the plants have mind-altering properties?
If it truly helps people connect to their spirituality, helps break unhealthy addictions, heals PTSD and depression, why is it illegal in the US?
Since Will and Jada Smith publicly mentioned journeying with Ayahuasca it seems to be more popular. Can you tell us about this plant medicine?
**FUN FACT: All of the aforementioned plant medicines are legal in Oregon.
What does "journeying" mean?
Are there some people who should stay away from plant medicine?
What can people who are currently on mental health medications do if they are interested in plant medicine? Is there an option for them?
Where can someone safely have a journey?
Where can I get more information?
How did you learn so much about plant medicine?
How can you work FamU in this conversation? (Not a real question but somehow FamU was mentioned)
How can one determine if plant medicine is for them?
Guest notes:
Quotes:
"When you have research hospitals like John Hoskins Hospitals, University Hospitals micro-dosing psilocybin, ayahuasca, ibogaine for their psychiatric patients and for their clients and patients with addictions and cancer and they are saying, 'Look at how efficacious this is'; It's only a matter of time until it is legal like marijuana. "
-Althea Lawton-Thompson
Guest contact info and mentions:
url: Link tree with all relevant links in one place: All things Althea
url: Specific to retreats: AltheaRetreats.com
url: Althea's Pre-recorded free presentation on Plant Medicine
url: August 2022, Sacred Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru (Free information session on March 6,2022)
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded February 10, 2022
It's Black History Month and this year we used it as a time to focus on our own family histories. Join us as we identify ways to honor and acknowledge our ancestors, collect our family stories, and share our histories together.
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded January 15, 2022
Move over Christmas! It's Toys for Valentine's Day this year. Today's topic: Sex Toys for Valentine's Day, features professional insights from Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Helena Johnson. Helena is trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Sex Therapy.
Questions/Topics:
- Valentine's day seems so commercial. Do you think it is important for couples to celebrate it?
- If someone is interested in trying toys in the bedroom is it ok for them to surprise their partner on Valentine's day with a box of toys?
- What do you do if one partner is more excited about toys and the other is more hesitant?
- Where do you go to get sex toys?
- Toys require a specific lube, what types of lubrications are out there and what is good for use with toys?
- The Netflix show, GOOP, talked about The Erotic Blueprint as a sort of 5 love languages but for sex. Would you list and describe the different sex preferences defined by the Erotic Blueprint. Where can I take the assessment? (see list of links below)
- Do guys have trouble finding a woman's G Spot?
- What toys would you recommend for beginners and not-not-so beginners? Toys and "furniture" mentioned in the show included a rose, a rabbit, a bullet, sex swing and a wedge. (Commence to googling... but maybe not at work.)
- What toys are there for men? Prostate-stimulating toys have amazing benefits.
Guest Mentions:
- Instagram: Helena___The_Therapist
- Website: www.helenajohnsoncounseling.com
Mentions:
url: Etsy store for podcast merch
url: There are 5 Erotic Blueprint Types™ Find out which one you are.
url: Episode 116: Libido Part 1 for Women with Sex Therapist Helena Johnson
url:Episode 117: Libido Part 2 for Men with Sex Therapist Helena Johnson
url:Episode 21: Love Languages
url: Episode 50: About the Big O
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
- Cashapp:$GirrrlPodcast
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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Recorded January 30, 2022
Scroll to end to read about our upcoming Valentine's Day Giveaway! Jan 21 - Feb 7
Topic: Success
Merriam-Webster: "favorable or desired outcome". It can also be the "attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence".
Twanda: "Positive outcome after hard effort and useful experience." (but it wasn't always satisfying like I expected)
Rhumel - "When you achieve your goals and find fulfillment in completing those goals."
Questions:
What did success look like to you as a kid?
Was it money? Stuff? Fame? family?
What does society say is success?
What is success for you now?
Will success bring happiness?
19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore (Pick the definition(s) that resonates with you)
1. Success is always doing your best.
2. Success is setting concrete goals.
3. Success is having a place to call home.
4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.
5. Success is believe you can.
6. Success is remembering to balance word with passion.
7. Success is taking care of your needs.
8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.
9. Is knowing your life is filled with abundance.
10. is understanding you cannot keep what you don't give away. (When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.)
11. Is overcoming fear.
12. Is learning something new each day.
The Definition of Success: What's Your Personal Definition?
I found the above article and the included Ted Talks informative however this one was especially helpful. The speaker suggested the following steps to help you identify success for yourself.
1) Look for and act on opportunities
2) Learn about yourself. what's important, makes me happy, inspires me, energizes me
3) Surround yourself with people who care. (People who can remind you of what success means to you).
♥♥♥Valentines Day Giveaway♥♥♥
We are excited to Introduce our very first Valentine's Day giveaway. On Feb 8th we will select _ONE winner _ from all entries received. The value of the prize is over $400 of wonderful couples related gifts. Below is the list of prizes. We also listed the vendor information so you can patronized these wonderful Black Owned Business as well.
**This episodes's vendor focus****
Company Name: Bougie Scented Candles
Social Media IG: @bougiescentedcandles
Website: www.bougiescentedcandles.com
Company Name: Ascent Mind and Body Co.
Ascent Mind and Body Co. curates wellness experiences that inspire a more balanced, focused and mindful life. Ascent was founded in 2018 by Jessica Gray - who is a wellness educator, reiki practitioner and meditation and sound bath guide. She is amazing she really excels at creating sound bath and meditation sessions privately, for groups and as corporate events.
Social Media IG: Business @ascentmindbodyco
Personal @heyjessgray
Website: ascentmindbody.co
Discount Code: GRRRL10
- Indulge your senses with 2 (two) sensual skin moisturizing Candles.(3-wick, 100% soy, infused with pure essential oils) Bougie Scented Candles IG: @bougiescentedcandles Only the highest quality used. Our candles are 100% soy wax with pure essential oils. The melted wax can be used as a skin moisturizer. Bougie Scented Candles are healthy for you and healthy for the environment.
- Whisper sweet nothings: "I belong with you", "You belong with me" soft, & luxurious Pillow Covers make the perfect addition to any space in your home. Toast to love with elegant, Valentine's Day-inspired, 15 oz stemless Wine Glasses TLP DIY Decor is an online business based in Lawrenceville Georgia. We specialize in home decor accents, personalized gifts, and a number of other uniquely designed items. We also welcome custom orders. Let us know what we can create for you! USE DISCOUNT CODE: caniask2022 (Valid during the month of February 2022)
- Raise your vibration with this beautiful Grounded Love Rose Quartz and Hematite Jewelry set. This couple's gift set includes two copper-wrapped crystal necklaces each paired with a hand-beaded bracelet with matching stone. H.E.R. Divine Energy creates custom jewelry that’s specific to your ENERGY IG @h.e.r.divineenergy
- Slip into ecstasy with Foria CBD-infused lubrication Toy-safe and latex-friendly, this is the lube you've been looking for. Ascent Mind+Body Co. curates wellness experiences that inspire others to live a more balanced, focused and mindful life. IG: @ascentmindbodyco
Be the first to rock our logo-bearing Podcast Merch The lucky winner will receive an insulated water bottle and a t-shirt (classic or women's fit).
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
- Cashapp:$GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Jan 23, 2022
Scroll to end to read about our upcoming Valentine's Day Giveaway! Jan 21 - Feb 7
Shadow work: Working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself. This includes parts of your personality that you subconsciously consider undesirable.
Shadow work actualizes living a multi-faceted life that incorporates the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the embarrassing, the uncertain. All of it! scarymommy.com
8 benefits of shadow work
Sampled from the article: The benefits of shadow work and how to use it in your journey
- Gain more confidence and self-esteem
- Improve your creativity
- Build better relationships with others
- Practice self-acceptance
- Discover your hidden talents
- Improve your overall wellness
- Increase your compassion toward others
- Have better clarity
Sample questions to use to get started
(there are hundreds of questions available free online)
- How do you believe people see you? How would they describe you to someone else? How does that make you feel?
- What are the worst traits someone can have, according to you? When did you demonstrate these traits?
- What tends to make you judgmental toward others?
- What memories are you ashamed of?
- Who do you envy, and why?
- What was one time you remember feeling wronged as a child? How did you react? Has this affected you into adulthood? How?
- Think about one time where you’ve felt betrayed. What would you say to the person who broke your trust?
- Write about a time you felt let down by someone you’d previously looked up to.
- What’s one trait you see in other people that you wish you had. Why do you not possess this characteristic yourself?
- What situations make you feel less than or not good enough? Why do you think this is?
♥♥♥Valentines Day Giveaway♥♥♥
We are excited to Introduce our very first Valentine's Day giveaway. On Feb 8th we will select _ONE winner _ from all entries received. The value of the prize is over $400 of wonderful couples related gifts. Below is the list of prizes. We also listed the vendor information so you can patronized these wonderful Black Owned Business as well.
- Indulge your senses with 2 (two) sensual skin moisturizing Candles.(3-wick, 100% soy, infused with pure essential oils) Bougie Scented Candles IG: @bougiescentedcandles Only the highest quality used. Our candles are 100% soy wax with pure essential oils. The melted wax can be used as a skin moisturizer. Bougie Scented Candles are healthy for you and healthy for the environment.
- Whisper sweet nothings: "I belong with you", "You belong with me" soft, & luxurious Pillow Covers make the perfect addition to any space in your home. Toast to love with elegant, Valentine's Day-inspired, 15 oz stemless Wine Glasses TLP DIY Decor is an online business based in Lawrenceville Georgia. We specialize in home decor accents, personalized gifts, and a number of other uniquely designed items. We also welcome custom orders. Let us know what we can create for you! USE DISCOUNT CODE: caniask2022 (Valid during the month of February 2022)
- Raise your vibration with this beautiful Grounded Love Rose Quartz and Hematite Jewelry set. This couple's gift set includes two copper-wrapped crystal necklaces each paired with a hand-beaded bracelet with matching stone. H.E.R. Divine Energy creates custom jewelry that’s specific to your ENERGY IG @h.e.r.divineenergy
- Slip into ecstasy with Foria CBD-infused lubrication Toy-safe and latex-friendly, this is the lube you've been looking for. Ascent Mind+Body Co. curates wellness experiences that inspire others to live a more balanced, focused and mindful life. IG: @ascentmindbodyco
Be the first to rock our logo-bearing Podcast Merch The lucky winner will receive an insulated water bottle and a t-shirt (classic or women's fit).
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
- Cashapp Tip Jar: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Jan 16, 2022
Scroll to end to read about our upcoming Valentine's Day Giveaway!
In today's episode we share our experience with and results from multiple DNA tests. We entered this journey with lots of questions.
- Do we really have Asian or Native American ancestors?
- Are there any family secrets we can uncover?
- Are we actually distant relatives who became podcast hosts?
- Which part of Africa are we from specifically?
- What are they planning to do with my DNA??
As always we have a blast recapping our process and the results. Join us for another lively chat.
♥♥♥Valentines Day Giveaway♥♥♥
We are excited to Introduce our very first Valentine's Day giveaway. On Feb 8th we will select _ONE winner _ from all entries received. The value of the prize is over $400 of wonderful couples related gifts. Below is the list of prizes. We also listed the vendor information so you can patronized these wonderful Black Owned Business as well.
- Indulge your senses with 2 (two) sensual skin moisturizing Candles.(3-wick, 100% soy, infused with pure essential oils) Bougie Scented Candles IG: @bougiescentedcandles Only the highest quality used. Our candles are 100% soy wax with pure essential oils. The melted wax can be used as a skin moisturizer. Bougie Scented Candles are healthy for you and healthy for the environment.
- Whisper sweet nothings: "I belong with you", "You belong with me" soft, & luxurious Pillow Covers make the perfect addition to any space in your home. Toast to love with elegant, Valentine's Day-inspired, 15 oz stemless Wine Glasses TLP DIY Decor is an online business based in Lawrenceville Georgia. We specialize in home decor accents, personalized gifts, and a number of other uniquely designed items. We also welcome custom orders. Let us know what we can create for you!
- Raise your vibration with this beautiful Grounded Love Rose Quartz and Hematite Jewelry set. This couple's gift set includes two copper-wrapped crystal necklaces each paired with a hand-beaded bracelet with matching stone. H.E.R. Divine Energy creates custom jewelry that’s specific to your ENERGY IG @h.e.r.divineenergy
- Slip into ecstasy with Foria CBD-infused lubrication Toy-safe and latex-friendly, this is the lube you've been looking for. Ascent Mind+Body Co. curates wellness experiences that inspire others to live a more balanced, focused and mindful life. IG: @ascentmindbodyco
Be the first to rock our logo-bearing Podcast Merch The lucky winner will receive an insulated water bottle and a t-shirt (classic or women's fit).
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
- Cashapp:$GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
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Recorded January 9, 2022
We call this the episode that went left because instead of discussing humans doing the most, the conversation was actually more like the ruminations of grumpy old women. Even the phrase "too much" was purposefully changed to "tew much" in honor of the way Rhumel's grandma would say it. Over the episode you'll hear us using words and phrases like, Get off my lawn, newfangled, whipper snapper, old fogeys,ole school, 2 live crew, and THE facebook. Sigh.... Yeah.... we said all those old lady phrases. SMH! Listen in and laugh at/with us. PS We are certain we stepped on some toes so feel free to respond on our facebook page. We can handle it.
Questions/Topics:
Announcement - We have an Etsy store please check us out! Proceeds go to growing our audience.
Announcement - We are having a Valentine's Day Giveaway Stay tuned for more information.
Things we thought were "tew much"
- Gender reveals
- Sweet 16
- Prom-posals
- All things weddings - proposals, ceremonies, dresses, receptions, pictures
- Make-up artistry/magicians
- Fingernail shapes
- Famous People who do the most
- Common Facebook behaviors
url: GirrrlpodcastEtsy store
url: Valentine's Day Giveaway (available January 21, 2022)
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- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Shop: Etsy store
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Recorded December 31, 2021
The last episode of our favorite TV series HBO's Insecure is in the books. This show was a wonderful celebration of friendship and culture and for that we are grateful. Join us as we reflect on the series' last episode, "Everything Gonna Be, Okay?!". It's like the title of the episode was selected just for Rhumel. (Someone please send Rhumel some tissues, she's a whole mess of tears.)
The music during this episode was fire hear it again > Soundtrack for the last episode
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Do you struggle with managing stress? Sis we got you! In this episode Hosts, Rhumel and Twanda interview meditation guru, Althea Lawton-Thompson. You’ll learn what meditation is, why it’s an effective tool for combating stress and how to get started. We learned a lot in this episode. We believe you will too. Lean in. This is good stuff.
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Althea Lawton-Thompson
Spiritual Healing Guide
A former corporate executive, Althea left the boardroom for a career in wellness twenty- three years ago. As a certified fitness professional, she was the on-air wellness reporter for WBAL Channel 11 News in Baltimore, the creator of the youth obesity program for Johns Hopkins Hospital’s pediatric department, the creator of the post-natal wellness program for Sinai Hospital, and the coordinator of the Healthy Living program for 13 Kaiser Permanente centers in Atlanta. Having trained extensively in spiritual and natural healing, Althea is a Reiki Master, a NOLS-certified outdoor leader, and a seasoned Yoga instructor and meditation guide. She has led 15 wellness retreats to Bali, Costa Rica, South Africa, Puerto Rico, Turks & Caicos, Dominican Republic, Bahamas, Grand Canyon, and the Georgia mountains.
Her corporate wellness company - Aerobics, Yoga & MoreTM - provides certified and insured instructors in yoga, meditation, Pilates, and fitness to companies, schools, and government agencies in the Atlanta metro area.
Althea has been highlighted in magazines including Mantra Yoga + Health, Essence, Upscale, Oxygen, and Best Body and was voted one of “Atlanta’s Best Yoga Instructors” by Best Self magazine. Her album, Guided Meditations with Althea, ranked #1 and #3 on two of Amazon’s bestsellers list for New Age music. She’s the producer of the AltheatizedTM fitness video series and the author of the bestselling novel, Losing Control, and the entrepreneur how-to book, Twenty. Althea has been married for twenty-three years and is the proud mother of two sons.
Website: AltheaLawtonThompson.com
Instagram: @althealawtonthompson
Facebook Group: Althea’s Retreats
Facebook Page: Facebook.com/AltheaLawtonThompson
YouTube: Living Life Limitlessly with Althea
Recorded December 5, 2020
Questions/Topics:
Getting ready for Christmas can be stressful. Who am I kidding it IS stressful in our camp. I know 'Tis the season and all, but for real for real, we are looking at a mound of tasks to do and consider between now and Christmas day. Girrrl... this mound is looking more like a mountain.
We are:
- online ordering all the things and tracking all our packages (we are also behind schedule)
- planning our Christmas dinner menus ( probably downsizing it though)
- decorating our homes inside and out
- working full time
We are busy.
This episode covers our anxieties and excitement around the upcoming holiday. Laughter is the best medicine. Chuckle with us.
Quotes:
I am not ready for Christmas, I'm never ready. - Rhumel
Bah Humbug - Twanda
I'm not a Grinch, but I will probably sound like one this episode. - Twanda
The way my bank account works... - Rhumel
Mentions:
url: Our Love Languages Episode
url: Twanda's magnificent to-do list system
url: Thanksgiving Family Movie Night picks
- Rhumel Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
- Twanda Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
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- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Recorded Dec 11, 2021
A few things Black people are serious about:
- Don't put your purse on the floor
- Playing Spades
- Bringing vetted mac and cheese or potato salad to the cookout.
- Washing raw meat before cooking
- Kids NOT calling adults by their first name
- Kids staying out of grown folks business
- Not being your kid's little friend
- Not touching a Black woman's hair
- About a recently deceased person, "Who did the body?"
- Turn off/ unplug electronics, stay away from water, and be quiet during a thunderstorm.
- Not sitting on the furniture in the formal living room of grandma's house
- Don't split the pole.
- People who enter an establishment after you being served before you.
url: CDC said Don't wash raw meat before cooking
- Twitter Fallout 1: Laura Speed chimes in
- What Black Twitter had to say about not washing raw chicken
- Black Twitter erupts after CDC advises NOT to wash raw chicken
- Jamaican Observer - To Wash or not to Wash
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Recorded November 28 , 2021
This week we discuss starting a gratitude journal. In just two weeks we started to see a change in perspective. Find out what you need to start your own gratitude journal. The resources to get you going, And find out how a gratitude journal can positively affect your life. Join Us.
Mentions:
https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/how-to-start-a-gratitude-journal/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
https://wellandwealthy.org/best-gratitude-journal/
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Recorded November 18, 2021
A good gift-giver and a not-so-good gift-giver record a podcast on gift-giving.... and it's pretty darned good. Listen in.
BUY BLACK!!
2021 Gift List
Self-care gifts
black card games
Shea butter
Journals
Candles
Crystals
Diffuser - aromatherapy
Loungewear
Meditation pillow
Gift card to their favorite self care activity (massage, nails etc.)
Bath products
Pandemic activities: for those who have started new hobbies
Plant related gifts: specialized plants, plant lights etc..
Make your own Hot sauce Kit
Beer brewing kit/supplies
Odds and ends
Personalized jewelry - especially great for unique names
Sonic Handheld Percussion Massage Gun
Cigars and bourbon
whiskey Stones Gift set
DNA test
Gift Links:
Masterclass - online classes with top experts
https://www.masterclass.com/plans
Sleep Headphones
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07T6FNLQV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_QAVD0P358VGTNW5G32BK?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Lounge wear - Black, female owner of a lounge wear and line of bamboo sheets
https://bamblu.co/
Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug 2
10 oz, Stainless Steel, 1.5-hr Battery Life - App Controlled Heated Coffee Mug https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B08GRHYKFT/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ERW4QZ5MSKQWN9ZKD90S?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Vitruvi Stone Diffuser
Ceramic Ultrasonic Essential Oil Diffuser for Aromatherapy https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01N4BU9G6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_ET8D0M9BZ8RQQX035X76?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Mentions:
url: S2_E80_ Spaces that feed your Soul. With Dara Segbefia
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Recorded Sept 11, 2021
This week we bring back our guest, couples' counselor & sex therapist, Helena Johnson, for a second round discussion on sex. This time, our focus is on the mature male sex drive. You don't want to miss this.
Guest
- Instagram: Helena_The_Therapist
- Website: www.helenajohnsoncounseling.com
Mentions:
url: Episode 116: Libido Part 1: For the Women
url: Episode 50: Talking About the Big O
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Recorded Sept 11, 2021
~~~This episode has amazing information about the wise woman's sex drive. Please excuse the audio challenges we experienced during the recording. We're blaming that on Mercury in Retrograde. Stick with us though; this episode is worth it! ~~~
Let's talk about sex baby!
The libido of the woman "of a certain age" is a bit different now than it was earlier in her life. It's also quite different from that of her male counterpart. Learn why, how, and what can be done about it. Join us for a lively yet educational conversation exploring the female sex drive, with our guest, couple's counselor & sex therapist Helena Johnson. She'll be back the following week for part 2 where we focus on male libido.
Guest
- Instagram: Helena_The_Therapist
- Website: www.helenajohnsoncounseling.com
Mentions:
url: Episode 50: Talking About the Big O
url: The little pink pill for women
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Recorded November 7, 2021
This week Rhumel and Twanda debunk 8 common Marriage Myths. No, we are not licensed marriage professionals however, our opinions are trial-by-fire certified. Join us for a down to earth chat.
Myths:
1) Love is Simple
2) Marriage is a Fifty-Fifty Contract
3) Love Alone Makes a Marriage
4) Cohabitations is Just Like Marriage
5) Premarital Sex is No Big Deal
6) “If my spouse would just change” things would be better
7) You will eventually agree on everything
8) One-Size-Fits-All Marriage Counseling
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Recorded October 26, 2021
Insecure is back and we are here for it.
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Recorded Oct 10, 2021
It was my idea to do an episode on Kevin Samuels (KS). While I'm sort of glad I did my research so I could justify my opinion of his platform, I must say it was a horrible experience. I seriously had to apologize to my body for listening to this man's toxic opinions. I think I'm glad we did this episode, but it didn't end up like I'd thought it would. I'd first thought I would provide for you all the quotes from the horse's mouth that illustrates that this man has it out for women...because he does. I'd venture to say that women aren't his only target just the one that garners the most attention and nets him the most dividends. Still, he is the mouth piece for men who have felt hurt, disrespected, and ignored by a black woman. He uses his platform to attack the women who sign up for his abusive assessments... and people can't help but to watch. Who has never been tempted to watch a street fight on WorldStar Hip Hop, or a gator eating another gator in SC (true and recent story), Gordan Ramsey humiliate a novice chef, or Simon Cowell decimate a want-to-be pop star?
Our culture is tempted to watch this stuff and I get it. It's provocative.
It's just that in this case there is a collection of people (some even in my circles) who subscribe to this man's toxic rhetoric, choosing to overlook the abusive and misogynistic foundation of it all. I wanted to be mad, but I instead I ended up feeling mostly disappointed and sad. Sad that they could relate to this platform and sad that they would promote and enthusiastically support this man's method of berating women on air. People I know and care about told me to listen to this platform and honestly expected me to get an "Ah Ha!" moment that made it all ok. That moment never happened. Instead, I feel wholly justified in my rejection of everything this man holds himself out to be. I have an enlighten understanding of where me and these people see the world and my role (as a woman) in it very differently.
Have you ever been educated on something that makes you wiser but learning it was painful? Creating this episode was one of those moments for me.
That said, there is also a side of me that collects receipts. Heck, a few of the Kevsters asked me to collect facts and I did. I just didn't put them all out during the episode's recording. So, as I conclude this journey, I will include below some of the notes I collected during my research of the KS platform. For all the facts I collected please view our notes in full at Girrrlpodcast.com
KS offers women a free assessment of their body type, beauty, financial situation, thoughts on what they deserve in terms of romantic relationships and likelihood for getting a "high value man". He wants you to believe he is helping women look at their list of requirements for a man and make sure those requirements are realistic. KS desires to "help" her set the bar at an appropriate level to match what she brings to the table. What she brings to the table is determined by a ranking system KS utilizes. He commonly asks a woman: How tall are you, What is your dress size, How much do you weigh, How do you rate yourself? He says "Women all think they are 10s" but he's happy to tell them they are far lower on the scale than they think. Self Check: At this point you are either rooting him on or disgusted by his antics?
For many people their first exposure to KS is a clip of him ranking a woman during a video call. He doesn't hesitate to rank her worth/beauty (to him its the same thing): " You are an adjustable 6" or "You are a [insert low number here] at best" or "You are built like a football player." or "You weigh more than men your height." About rapper Saweetie, KS volunteers, "I don't think she'll ever be considered beautiful or gorgeous". What motivation sits behind that statement? Is he being helpful....really?
Supporters of KS blame the women for volunteering for the KS assessments. Perhaps they reason that she asked for it or she should have known better. I have heard KS supporters say that the women who call in are actually not as pretty or deserving as they think they are thus these women need someone to tell them "the truth". That last part is in quotes because I don't accept KS is the truth do you?
" Men built the world we live in" is the baseline of thought for KS. He believes women should show reverence for the men who built the architecture of the world we live in. Thus women should be shamed for not considering the construction worker, for example.
KS says with disgust that "Women don't feel like they should answer to a guy" Are you thinking, what guy? Cause I was. KS asked one woman who said she wanted to be married if she was willing to be subservient/submissive to ALL MEN. All men? Really KS?
KS says if women want men to provide, then they should be traditional women/wives. His go-to adjectives are: cooperative, submissive, obedient and loyal. He said girls should practice serving her brothers so the girls will know how to do it when it's time to be that way with their husbands.
On women with high salaries and high education: He said if women are all that, why are 1 in 4 on a psych medication, overweight, and/or the least happy of women in all previous time periods? If you read that sentence, did no research of your own and co-signed that statement, Here's your sign - You are a Kevster, not that there is anything wrong with that.
KS speaks contemptuously about women making demands on a man. He says black women act entitled. He says if you look closely, women who claim they are independent are actually still "getting rescued by men". For example, if she is a single mom then any government assistance she gets is from a man because and I quote " who do you think pays taxes, men". Just men pay taxes?! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! I know someone holding a kevin sign has an explanation for this, but don't waste your breath explaining it to me. The fact is I'm a lost cause when it comes to the ks perspective. Also fact: I am a woman who pays taxes.
When women start fights with men she calls the cops to defend herself but and I quote "who do you think will show up? The cop is likely a man".
KS is disturbed because when men don't have it they just have to live without but when women don't have it they always turn to a man to get it for them. Y'all this really gets under his skin and he lashes out his irritations upon the unfortunate women who volunteer to be on his show.
I watched one episode where the woman who called in was pretty by America's standards, she was thin, she made 6 figures and wanted a man who matched her. KS tried to shame her for not considering a man who earned less than $50k. When she suggested that they ask what other people thought he chastised her for trying to take over his show and open the floor of his platform (know your place Sis). He told her, "You might be cute to other people but you are just a female to me". Read that again, he said "JUST A FEMALE".
"Men produce en mass. Women consume en mass"
"Women do nothing and act entitled"
"Name 5 women inventors. You can't."
"The movie The Color Purple is bull s#!+ and has had a catastrophic impact on the black community" Too many independent black women i guess. He threw in Waiting to Excel and Tyler Perry movies as well.
KS believes that black women have not been held accountable for their choices. He says other groups have had their behaviors examined but not the black woman.
"Women think they own men. Men in other countries don't put up with this mess." Maybe he needs help with a passport. IJS
"Black men have an irrational reverence for their women in this culture" Sis we need to burn our "queen" shirts I guess.
"Men just want women to be nice and cooperative not supermodels but fit and childless. It's not a lot to ask."
He says black men are more racially loyal than black women. I don't even know what he is talking about and I refused to do the research to verify the stats he gave.
"Chivalry is dead because women killed it."
If I man pays for a dinner twice (so on the second date) the woman should have sex with him or pay her half of the bill . She need to pay her "Coochie balance". His words not mine.
Ok that's a wrap for me. This has been exceedingly exhausting.
Quotes from us on this Episode
"We are breaking apart this unit by looking at each other in a way like, " You are not doing your part", " You are doing enough", "You are not good enough" ... I don't think, in our environment, we can afford to be so damaging to each other." - Rhumel
"Can we hold each other to the light? Sure, we should, but we should not cause trauma to people in order to do that. Oftentimes I think that is what he does" - Rhumel
"I don't think love and compassion show up that way." -Rhumel
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Recorded Oct 16, 2021
India Williams is a thriving survivor of domestic abuse. She hopes that sharing her story—the joys and pains—will help not only bring awareness to the issue of domestic violence—in all its ugly forms—but also to inspire the community in understanding how they can support and empower women and girls to be free.
Mentions:
url:InterAct - InterAct is the only provider of domestic violence and sexual assault services in Wake County, North Carolina - saving lives, rebuilding lives and securing safer futures for individuals and families in our community.
url: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
url: What you need to know about being in a relationship with a narcissist
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Recorded Sept 26, 2021
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Recorded October 3, 2021
We're fired up and ready to go. Season 3 here we come! We are entering the third third year of our podcast and we are excited about the topics we have planned. Thank you for your continued support.
Questions/Topics:
Reflections on season 2
HBCU Homecoming Season
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Recorded April 17, 2021
(First Released on 4/20 of course!)
This episode was sponsored by Micanopy Winery and Countryside Vineyards
It's 4/20 and what are Rhumel and Twanda talking about? You guessed it, we are talking about weed today, but that's not all! This episode highlights Rhumel's good friend, fellow Famuan and business school colleague, Matthew Bowman. Matt is Wine and Hemp farmer residing in Micanopy Florida. Let me tell you... we didn't know how informative and overall awesome this episode would be. We not only learned of a most amazing and scenic vineyard for a romantic getaway or group retreat, we were also gifted a surprise masterclass on sticking you toe into the pond of growing hemp! Seriously y'all, this episode will set you on your way to getting paid to learn how to become a hemp farmer. Grab a glass of wine and hit play. This is a good one.
Matt's Episode Quotes:
It doesn't matter whether you are listening in Raleigh NC or Moscow Russia ....the information y'all put out is useful.
There is no better place than to come to a winery. A winery is the penultimate relaxation, get-away-and-enjoy-yourself spot!
I like to say on the CBD side, 'Get well not high', but recreational cannabis is coming.
If you ever have to leave your good government job to grow weed, this is the whole trick to growing weed ok? One male can ruin the whole crop.
It is truly one of the world's incredible plants.
The things that it can do for you neurologically, whether you have PTSD, traumatic brain injury or whether you just got a stressful life, right... weed will help.
If weed doesn't help, wine will help.
This is part of the masters class but this is why your listeners listen, because they get value, they get information they would not get otherwise.
Of the 4 Ws, Wine, Weed, Women.... Wads of cash is truly my only drug, That is my drug of choice.
I believe in being unapologetically profit-driven.... you go into business to make money.
We [Black people] tend to wait too late to be a part, in a big way, of any of these new industries.
Mentions:
- Micanopy Wine and Countryside Vineyards
22595 US-441, Micanopy, FL 32667-7533, United States - Instagram: @mattbowmanfl
- Facebook: @floridavineyard
- Website: (South Carolina site) Bowman Vineyards
Matt's Recommendations for where to stay and eat while visiting Micanopy Winery and Countryside Vineyards:
url: Herlong Mansion Bed & Breakfast
url: Antonio’s Italian Restaurant
Step One for dipping your toe in the pool:
url: Minorities for Medical Marijuana
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- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Recorded January 24, 2021
Letting Go to Level Up!
Dr. Stephanie Brown is a Life Coach and a physician with over 25 years in clinical practice. She is radio host and podcast host of the "Sisters Overcoming And Rising" (S.O.A.R) radio show and podcast where she provides a platform for women, especially Black women to tell their stories.
Quotes:
"Sometimes the reason we cant get to where we want to get is because there are things that are actually holding us back....energetically there are things holding us back." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"When you see the same thing on your New Year Resolution list every year that is a sign there is something holding you back that you need to let go."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"All that I was seeing in the outside world, were reflections of things going on inside."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Look at this chess board [your life]. You are the Queen, you are not a pawn. You can make whatever move you want to make."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Whatever it is that you want to be, think the thoughts as if you were already there and you'll get there before you know it." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Every so often we have to be reminded of who we are." - Twanda Baker
" I want to shake people sometimes and say, 'C'mon we got to believe in ourselves just a little bit more'" Rhumel Anderson
Guest
- Instagram: @sistersovercomingandrising
- Podcast/Website: www.stephaniebrowncoaching.com
- Facebook: @stephaniebrowncoaching
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Recorded October 9, 2020
Guest notes:
Monica’s adventurous spirit has taken her in many different directions and avenues including cosmetology, publishing, and the music industry.
As a freelance artist and consultant, Monica Wisdom has worked with celebrities and companies, including, The Isley Brothers, Lela Rochon, Carole’s Daughter, Atlantic Records, and DreamWorks Records just to name a few.
Her IG page is called "Black women amplified" and is described as a destination for Black women who are ready to build their vision, share their story and knowledge with the world.
Questions/Topics:
What is your definition of a Vision Board?
Should we take our 2020 Vision Boards and repurpose them for next year or throw them out?
Quotes from Guest:
You can dream and you can have the life that you want.
It's about what you want to emerge from the center of you.
The Vision Board is an opportunity to say who you are.
Everything you have and don't have comes from inside of you.
Say to yourself: Why do I want these things and why don't I have these things now?
You have your destination, and you have where you are. The whole, how you get there, That's not your job.
Your job is to clear space for it to happen, prepare for it to happen, and visualize it happening.
Mentions:
- Instagram: @blackwomenamplified
- Website: blackwomenamplified.com
- Podcast: No Hashtags Required
- Facebook: Black Women Amplified
URL: Law of Attraction/Manifestation
URL: Law of Correspondence
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Recorded May 2, 2021
Spoiler Alert *
In this episode we discuss our personal take-aways from watching the Tina Turner Documentary, titled Tina. If you haven't seen it yet this episode will spoil it for you. Topics that hit home for us were:
- Overcoming vs carrying your obstacles
- Success after 40
- Mommy Issues
- Domestic Violence and Narcissism
- Finding love later in life
Quotes:
If you don't address the wounds of your past you continue to bleed. - Oprah Winfrey
I never knew what telling her story did to her until I saw the documentary. - Twanda
One thing that was really brave of her is that Tina was one of the first famous people to really talk about abuse in the way that she did. She shined a light on abuse in a way that had not been done before. -Rhumel
This really clearly correlates with the whole idea of mommy issues and what it does to us in our relationships. - Rhumel
The fact that she gets up everyday and finds happiness now is a real testament to who she is and who she's become. - Rhumel
He [Ike] was a horrible, evil character in her life and she didn't talk as badly about him as I wanted her to or as I would have in a similar situation. - Twanda
Mentions:
url: Mommy Issues Episode
url: What you need to know about being in a relationship with a narcissist, Episode
url: TINA the documentary (trailer on youtube)
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This is a quick mini-sode, to let you know what is happening for the month of September!
Recorded August 22, 2021
Questions/Topics:
What I wish I had known before I got married
Mentions:
url: What I Wish I Knew When I Got Married? (Early Girrrlpodcast Episode #3)
url: Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
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Recorded August 14 , 2021
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Recorded August 1, 2021
Nobody really wants to talk about death, but most of us would die more peacefully if we had our affairs in order. In this episode which focuses on estate planning, we learn about the tools we need to have in place to make the tough times easier for our loved ones. Our esteemed guest, Clifton Stancil is an attorney who specializes in asset planning. He's also Rhumel's dad. Attorney Stancil walks us through the maze of legal tools including, power of attorney, wills, and trusts.
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Recorded July 31 , 2021
Questions/Topics:
Quotes:
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded July 21 , 2021
You don't need to have hair loss concerns to benefit from this episode. If the hair that grows out of your scalp is naturally kinky, tune in, this is for you.
Guest information:
Dr. Chesahna Kindred is a board-certified dermatologist, published research author, and national speaker. Soon after graduating from her dermatology residency at Howard University, she became a leading dermatologist at MedStar Health in the Baltimore area. Five years later, she founded Kindred Hair & Skin Center in Columbia, Maryland where she treats people of all ages and ethnicities. Dr. Kindred remains on the cutting-edge of hair loss treatment, performing Platelet Rich Plasma, or PRP, on a regular basis. Currently, she owns the only dermatology office with a full-service salon that specializes in hair loss.
Topic:
We invited Dr. Kindred to the show to speak to us about hair loss from her expertise as a dermatologist. Her medical practice is the first in our country to include a natural hair salon specifically for her hair loss patients. What we learned from Dr. Kindred was so much more than we expected and we loved all of it! In today's episode, we learned about the type of genetic hair loss (CCCA) that most often affects black women, how to identify a hair loss issue, who to reach out to for help, which hair beliefs are actually myths and how black women in executive positions can help normalize natural hair in the workplace. It was astounding to realize how much we didn't know about a topic that is so dear to us as black women.... our hair. And if that weren't enough, we got some bonus lessons in the importance of seeking out culture competent physicians for all our health needs.
Guest Quotes:
Patients fall through the gaps between what I do medically and what [hair] stylists are trained to do. This [hair salon] was the solution.
I need for our culture to be aware that there are now a decent number of culturally competent dermatologists that specialize in hair loss.
We will admit that our culture is a little too obsessed with neat edges. As if we all don't know that our hair is curly!
The way my hair grows out of my head is professional too!
There is data that says that if black patients are cared for by black doctors the patients live longer.
You can't pull on hair follicles like a tug of war and call it protective.
Every 'protective style' is not so protective.
Almost any style can be protective or detrimental.
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @kindrederm
- Website and Products: dermamyth.com
url: thecrownact.com
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Recorded June 20 , 2021
In this episode we welcome back guest, Ren Jones of Fitness Jones Training to help us understand how to simplify the process of reaching our fitness goals. To be honest, we needed convincing that simplifying fitness was actually a thing. We were not disappointed. You HAVE to listen to this episode to get the full comedic effect of the banter between the three of us but I'll let you in on some of the must-have takeaways from this episode.
First of all it helps to understand how we tend to think about fitness. The harder your exercise regimen sounds the more it will garner support on social media. However, Ren explained that its actually a selection of simple actions done consistently that ultimately lead to success. Sounds too good to be true right? I thought so too, but in truth it seems we are wired to get in our own way.
Here are some simple tips for getting out of our on way to finding fitness success:
1) We tend to think that starting with extreme exercise routines will produce the results we want, however it most often leads to us getting overwhelmed quitting all together.
Tip: Start with a simple task of moving more than you usually do, then when that becomes a habit you can start increasing the intensity.
2) If we spend a lot of time thinking about losing weight, then, when we finally decide to get started, we counterbalance that procrastination with impatience. That leads us to looking for something intense and complex to do for our new exercise routine.
Tip: See the tip above.
3) We believe we need an extreme diet to see progress. This tends to look like grass smoothies and water fasts.
Tip: Add 4 to 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. Most importantly, you should eat slowly and stop when you feel full.
4) We quickly get bored when we become accustomed to our fitness routine and begin to look for more complexity as a solution. Increasing complexity too soon will invariably throw you off track and could create setbacks in your progress.
Tip: Don't sacrifice success for novelty. Get a trusted trainer to set, monitor, and adjust your routine as appropriate and then trust the process. Also, see the very first tip.
Guest Quotes:
We like to brag about the super hard -ish we are doing. Nobody's going to go on social media and brag to say 'I walked for 20 minutes today.' You won't get no likes for that!
Simple is not great for social media but it works.
We feel like success comes at the hand of difficulty.
If you don't understand the process of what you are doing and how to document progress in it, you will default to difficulty as a means of telling yourself its working.
We try to start with the intensity first and build a very, very intense thing into a habit and it just doesn't work that way. It's not a great way to build a habit.
We have a mistrust of simplicity in terms of getting us to a goal.
A good coach is going to provide an appropriate solution for the population they work with.
Everyone does better when they move more.
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fitnessjonestraining/
- Podcast/Website: fitnessjonestraining.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fitnessjones
url: Book - Atomic Habits
url: Book - The Four Agreements
url: Book - Emotional Agility
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Recorded July 11, 2021
Our travel agent is helping us reach our travel enthusiast asperations in this episode as she uncovers international travel tips, tricks and super helpful advice.
Questions/Topics:
You too can be an (International) Travel Enthusiast on a budget!
Travel Dos and Don'ts
Top overrated location
Top underrated location
Top mistake made by people making their own arrangements
Top Travel Hack
Guest notes:
Jenniver Stafford is a Business Analyst by day and a travel enthusiast by night. With over 20 years if travel experience, she told us she's turned her hobby into a lifestyle!
Guest Quotes:
- It's all about establishing a rapport and getting you the perfect vacation for you. That's my goal.
- I turned my hobby into a lifestyle because now I work to go on vacation.
- You just have to have that passion and energy to want to travel and to be open to seeing something new and different.
- Whatever happens it happens. I'm going to take the adventure wherever it leads me.
Mentions:
Guest
- email (Best method): sta.inteletravel@gmail.com
- website: inteletravel.com
- FaceBook: Facebook.com/inteletravel
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded July 4 , 2021
It's the episode after vacation and Twanda steals Rhumel's signature "Hey Girl Hey" line but Rhumel, still in vacay mode, doesn't care. This is how we kick off today's episode... a little review of our vacation recovery followed by our usual banter, this time tackling the hot topics in our circles. Our peeps have opinions across the board on Sha'Carri and Bill and it's time we talk about it.
Questions/Topics:
- Sha'Carri Richardson
- She's different
- Olympic appearance suspended
- Black Hair
- Natural Crown Day - Started July 3, 2019
- The C.R.O.W.N. Act (Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair)
- Bill Cosby's release
- Loophole that reversed the conviction
- Phylicia Rashad's social media celebration and the immediate backlash
Quotes:
We have to let others find their "shine" and define it for themselves. - Rhumel
He is still guilty as hell! - Twanda
Black people have had a very challenging relationship with justice. - Rhumel
url: TheCrownAct.com
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Aloha from Honolulu
Covid restrictions are starting to lift and people are starting to travel again. Rhumel
and Twanda finally made it on their long awaited mommy retreat
(Check out our Mommy Retreat Episode 55 if you want to hear how much they love their annual trip.)
Recorded in Honolulu Hawaii, Twanda and Rhumel tell you all about their vacation including a spontaneous trip to a waterfall and tours and some great travel tips from their fantastic travel agent on “What to Do” and “What to NOT DO” while planning for your next vacation.
JENNIVER STAFFORD
A Business Analyst by day and a travel enthusiast by night. She has over 20 years of travel experience. Jenniver turned her hobby into a lifestyle!
Website
https://jenniverstafford.inteletravel.com/booktravel.cfm
sta.inteletravel@gmail.com
Recorded June 19, 2021
Aging is that dirty little secret that no one really wants to talk about. The thing is, if we are lucky, we grow old. But growing old doesn't mean that we can't live well and vibrantly. Our guest Lynnis Woods-Mullins, gives us real world examples of how to improve our lives over 40. Be sure to check out her bio below, she is amazing.
Quotes:
Lynnis: Start Journaling. Start writing out what it is you really desire and go from there.
Lynnis: We are so into human doings. We are always doing something all the time. But actually there comes a point in time where we need to learn how to be Human BEINGS.....just be. That's where the real work is....
Lynnis: Menopause is an opportunity to really get to know you. And what works for you. In all areas of your life. You no longer have to life your life, nor should you be living your life to please everybody else. Because when you body is going those changes, you are looking for ways to take care of you. And that's a good thing. That's what we should be doing all of our lives. So we continue to take care of everybody else.
Guest Bio: Lynnis Woods-Mullins
Lynnis Woods-Mullins, CHC, CPI,CLC has dedicated the last 10 years to the inspiration, motivation, empowerment and wellness for Women over 40. She is founder and CEO of the wellness company PraiseWorks Health and Wellness and creator of the Wellness Woman 40 and Beyond Brand and the V.I.B.E. Living Brand.
At the age of 51 Lynnis decided that after twenty-five years in the field of Human Resources as a Professional and Manager it was time to make a change. In 2009, Lynnis decided to pursue her true calling which is empowering women to achieve wellness for their mind, body and spirit. "At mid-life it is time for Women to realize that life is really just beginning. It's the start of a new season of self-discovery, self-care and self-love. Wellness of the mind, body and spirit is a path that every mid-life women should take" With that in mind, Lynnis moved forward and created PraiseWorks Health and Wellness, a company that helps women over 40 achieve total wellness for their mind, body and spirit through holistic practices, nutrition, fitness, and spiritual renewal.
For more than 10 years, Lynnis's mission is to educate women over 40 on the importance of achieving mind, body, spirit wellness. Lynnis brands, products and services targets all areas of a woman's physical, spiritual and emotional needs through her coaching services, holistic products, workshops, e-magazine, seminars/webinars, online classes, podcasts, and retreats/events that promote wellness for women over 40
Lynnis publishes a mind, body, spirit e-magazine Wellness Woman 40 and Beyond, produces the hit wellness podcast series "The Wellness Journey Podcast Series" and the new mid-life lifestyle podcast series "V.I.B.E. Living". She has produced a low impact Praise Dance Fitness DVD, and is the creator of Wellness Woman 40 and Beyond Holistic Academy which features online wellness classes. Lynnis also offers the following coaching programs, "DeStress The Mess", a holistic stress reduction program, Transformational Wellness, a weight release/wellness program, and Mid-Life Boot Camp, a virtual wellness group coaching program.
Lynnis, has written the eBook "DeStress The Mess-Minimizing The Impact of Stress on Your Body, Maximizing The Joy In Your Life" and was one of the Authors for the book "Power Up, Super Women -Stories of Courage and Empowerment ". Lynnis is a featured columnist in several online magazines, blogs and newsletter.
Lynnis is achieving her dream of moving into National and International markets. She has over 150,000 followers on the internet through her combined social media. She receives invitations to speak, invitations for radio appearances and invitations as an expert writer for various magazines and newspapers around the country, and abroad. Lynnis has been featured in several publications, television, and radio programs. Lynnis has received recognition for her work in the community in the area of Health and Wellness. Lynnis was nominated for the National award of Community Activism for Health by WEGO for her work in the area of education of women over 40 about wellness. She has also been recognized by National Association of Businesswomen for her work with wellness for women over 40. Lynnis received the Extraordinary Woman Award by Sac Culture Hub and is a charter member of Sacramento Women's Chamber.
Lynnis resides in Sacramento, California and has four beautiful adult daughters and is married.
Lynnis may be contacted at 916-706-7565 or lynnis@praiseworks.biz for bookings.
- Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/WellnessWoman40Group
- Instagram: @vibewellnesswoman
- Website: https://praiseworks.biz/
- Blog: http://praiseworkshealthandwellness.blogspot.com/
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Recorded May 30, 2021
Questions/Topics:
Seeing positive relatable and aspirational versions of ourselves on TV was a gift. That experience touched us deeply and made an indelible impact on our childhood. In this episode we take a trip down memory lane to explore the specific shows that marked our childhood.
Quotes:
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Are we our sister's keeper? Did Mo'Nique go to far in her recent post about Bonnets, slippers and blankets on a plane? Are we responsible for the way all black people are viewed when we go out in public? Seriously.... are we as individual black people still having to represent for the whole race of black people in 2021? Join us on this interesting conversation.
Mercury in Retrograde. If you haven’t heard of it before, you should know that it messes with electronics. This week, it specifically messed with OUR electronics. Due to audio issues, we can’t release our scheduled episode. So we are replaying our Mercury In Retrograde episode. Check it out. This episode will explain why Mercury in Retrograde is a big deal and how to deal with it.
Recorded May 23, 2021
To handshake or not to handshake, that is the question. These days, hand-shakes and hugs require a mental calculation and quick review of the latest CDC recommendations before action. Without a doubt, its a weird stage we are in. We can agree that collectively, we all suffer from PTSD or rather Post Pandemic Stress Disorder. Now that half the country has been vaccinated, we are taking baby steps to adjusting to our new Post-Covid world.
Quotes:
"That feeling of comfort is different for everybody and how I'm going to feel comfortable in different settings is going to be a process." -Twanda
"Outside I feel a lot more comfortable, but as soon as you take me into an inside situation, as soon as I cross a threshold, its like a wave of anxiety comes over me." Rhumel
"There is a comfort behind my mask. I reserve the right to wear my mask to make me feel comfortable until I feel like stepping out of that." Twanda
"That's what this whole thing has been. Its been a trauma. It's been a trauma to all of us. No one gets over a trauma easily." -Rhumel
"As a collective, it's going to take us a while to get to where we feel normal." -Rhumel
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Recorded May 16, 2021
This episode topic mysteriously landed on our podcast topics list so we finally decided to run with it. In Alicia Key's song Gremacy park she says, [Enter lyrics here]. The concept of outwardly presenting a polished version of yourself to the extent that you lose who you truly are.
Are you gonna see me when light gets dark?
The sun goes down over Gramercy Park
And it's become easy to hide pieces away
Making up someone in the hope that you'll stay
'Cause I've been trying to be everything I think you want me to be
I've been doing all the things that I think you wanna see
I've been trying to fulfill you with your every need
Now you falling for a person that's not even me
Said you falling for a person that's not even me
'Cause I forgot about the person that I used to be
Is it self monitoring? Filtering our the less attractive comments and behaviors to get along and/or blend in.
Work example when customer says something stupid
Quotes:
Mentions:
Guest
url: Gramercy Park Lyrics by Alicia Keys
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Recorded May 2, 2021
Spoiler Alert *
In this episode we discuss our personal take-aways from watching the Tina Turner Documentary, titled Tina. If you haven't seen it yet this episode will spoil it for you. Topics that hit home for us were:
- Overcoming vs carrying your obstacles
- Success after 40
- Mommy Issues
- Domestic Violence and Narcissism
- Finding love later in life
Quotes:
If you don't address the wounds of your past you continue to bleed. - Oprah Winfrey
I never knew what telling her story did to her until I saw the documentary. - Twanda
One thing that was really brave of her is that Tina was one of the first famous people to really talk about abuse in the way that she did. She shined a light on abuse in a way that had not been done before. -Rhumel
This really clearly correlates with the whole idea of mommy issues and what it does to us in our relationships. - Rhumel
The fact that she gets up everyday and finds happiness now is a real testament to who she is and who she's become. - Rhumel
He [Ike] was a horrible, evil character in her life and she didn't talk as badly about him as I wanted her to or as I would have in a similar situation. - Twanda
Mentions:
url: Mommy Issues Episode
url: What you need to know about being in a relationship with a narcissist, Episode
url: TINA the documentary (trailer on youtube)
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp:$GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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Recorded March 28, 2021
We've all heard of daddy issues but what about mommy issues? They are a real thing. It could look like low self-esteem, toxic relationships, "not getting along with other women" or struggles with connecting to our own children. Mommy issues come about when our mothers are abusive, neglectful, or perhaps not as nurturing or as loving as we needed. How our parental relationship played our in our childhood follows us into our adult lives and will likely impact how we parent our own child(ren). In this episode we bring on psychiatrist, Dr. Leesha Cox to help us understand, identify, unpack and find healing with any mommy issues plaguing our lives.
Questions:
How do we know if we have mommy issues?
What happens in the parental relationship that causes the mommy issue syndrome?
What ties mommy issues to self-esteem?
If you find you are affected by your mommy issues how you do avoid passing that down to your own children?
Can we resolve our mommy issues on our own?
Quotes:
Chances are you are probably gonna have to do therapy, but I'm trying to minimize the amount of things I send you to therapy for. - Rhumel
Our health insurance carries mental health so if I am messing up right now, I'm at least providing you access to therapy to help you get right because I know I'm not doing this all right. - Twanda
There is nothing that you do or did to deserve what has happened. You are still deserving of love and acceptance even if your mother can't give it to you. - Dr. Cox
This is not on you, It is not your fault. You are still deserving of love. You can acknowledge that this pain is real. That also helps to usher in the growth and healing process that has to happen. - Dr. Cox
Maybe some of this that your mom did was the best she could. It may have been horrible and inadequate but it was the best that she could do at that time. - Dr. Cox
This is a process of growth. It may require therapy to get there, but to forgive her can really heal you. - Dr. Cox
#NormalizeTherapy! ...We should all be on a quest to protect and nurture our mental health. - Dr. Cox
What we are talking about it health and wellness We haven't done a good job historically of thinking about mental health as part of health. - Dr. Cox
Mentions:
- Eradicate the stigma around mental health issues in the African American community - The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation by Tarji P Henson
Guest
- Instagram: @drleesha
- Podcast/Website: https://drleesha.com/blog/
- Twitter: @drleesha
- Facebook:@drleesha
Book:Ditch The Mommy Guilt: A Blueprint For the Modern Mommy
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Recorded April 25, 2021
Vena Crichlow is an gifted bead artist who incorporates healing crystals in her art. We discovered Vena in the Clubhouse App speaking all-things-crystals and knew we wanted her for the podcast. Rhumel and I are drawn to "pretty rocks ", but there is so much more to crystals than aesthetic beauty. They have jobs and we can put them to work! The stone's energy can comingle with our human energy and get us into alignment. Who knew??!! In this episode, Vena helps us appreciate the wonder and the power of crystals, while pointing out how and why to integrate them into our lives.
Questions:
When did you become interested in Crystals?
You said crystals are energy. Can you say more about that?
I seem to hear more about crystals these days. Would you say crystals are more mainstream now?
How do Crystals help with healing?
What are your 5 favorite crystals and why?
Why focus on wearing crystals around the waist?
Guest notes: Vena's 5 Favorite Crystals
Rose Quartz: Heart Chakra, strong vibration of unconditional love, joy, warmth and emotional healing
I am love. I am connected to the vibration of love.
Amethyst: Crown Chakra, helps with sleep, represents calmness, attracts peace
I am worthy of all of the good in my life. I am connected to God. I am trusting God to guide me.
Clear Quartz: All Chakras, Amplifier of your intentions, Everyone needs one of these!
I am magnificent. I am a miracle.
Citrine: Solar Plexus Chakra, Attracts prosperity and abundance
I am a money magnet. I am successful. I am encouraging myself everyday. I am worthy.
Carnelian: Sacral Chakra, Creativity. Taps into the feminine side, it brings out the passion in our lives.
I am filled with creative energy. I embrace my sensuality. I am beautiful and radiant.
Quotes:
Once I reached 50 (and above) all these things just fell into place.
Each crystal carries a certain note similar to wine having an individual note.
You will gravitate to crystals your spirit is called to align with. Your body knows what your desire, just like you gravitate to certain colors.
Waistbeads help women celebrate their bodies. The goal is to help women feel comfortable with skin they are in.
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @ifetayoartwear
- Personal Website: Vena Crichlow
- Grounding Blog: My Dirty Hoe
url: The Feminine Frequency Conference on May 22, 2021
url: Waistbeads N Wine Event
Please support our podcast:
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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Recorded April 17, 2021
(Released on 4/20 of course!)
This episode was sponsored by Micanopy Winery and Countryside Vineyards
It's 4/20 and what are Rhumel and Twanda talking about? You guessed it, we are talking about weed today, but that's not all! This episode highlights Rhumel's good friend, fellow Famuan and business school colleague, Matthew Bowman. Matt is Wine and Hemp farmer residing in Micanopy Florida. Let me tell you... we didn't know how informative and overall awesome this episode would be. We not only learned of a most amazing and scenic vineyard for a romantic getaway or group retreat, we were also gifted a surprise masterclass on sticking you toe into the pond of growing hemp! Seriously y'all, this episode will set you on your way to getting paid to learn how to become a hemp farmer. Grab a glass of wine and hit play. This is a good one.
Matt's Episode Quotes:
It doesn't matter whether you are listening in Raleigh NC or Moscow Russia ....the information y'all put out is useful.
There is no better place than to come to a winery. A winery is the penultimate relaxation, get-away-and-enjoy-yourself spot!
I like to say on the CBD side, 'Get well not high', but recreational cannabis is coming.
If you ever have to leave your good government job to grow weed, this is the whole trick to growing weed ok? One male can ruin the whole crop.
It is truly one of the world's incredible plants.
The things that it can do for you neurologically, whether you have PTSD, traumatic brain injury or whether you just got a stressful life, right... weed will help.
If weed doesn't help, wine will help.
This is part of the masters class but this is why your listeners listen, because they get value, they get information they would not get otherwise.
Of the 4 Ws, Wine, Weed, Women.... Wads of cash is truly my only drug, That is my drug of choice.
I believe in being unapologetically profit-driven.... you go into business to make money.
We [Black people] tend to wait too late to be a part, in a big way, of any of these new industries.
Mentions:
- Micanopy Wine and Countryside Vineyards
22595 US-441, Micanopy, FL 32667-7533, United States - Instagram: @mattbowmanfl
- Facebook: @floridavineyard
- Website: (South Carolina site) Bowman Vineyards
Matt's Recommendations for where to stay and eat while visiting Micanopy Winery and Countryside Vineyards:
url: Herlong Mansion Bed & Breakfast
url: Antonio’s Italian Restaurant
Step One for dipping your toe in the pool:
url: Minorities for Medical Marijuana
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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Recorded April 9, 2021
We've both been married over 20 years each so we figured this is a good time to check in on how this marriage thing is going. Sex, affection, sharing, service, dating... in this episode we put it all on the table.
Quotes:
"If you microwave my food, I cut you" - Rhumel
Mentions:
url: Love Languages episode
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Recorded April 4, 2021
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible - Dalai Lama
Kindness is when you do something nice for someone else without expecting anything in return. It is being generous , thoughtful and helpful. Studies have shown that it has positive mind & body benefits for you the giver, the receiver, and for anyone who witnesses the act of kindness. (Who knew?!) What's more, kindness is contagious! People who are on the receiving end AND those who witness good deed tend to pay it forward, becoming agents of kindness as well. I don't know about you but this is the best contagious thing I've heard of in over a year.
Because self care is something we tend to have to remind ourselves to do, I was glad to hear that being kind to yourself provides the same great benefits. Talk about a win-win!
Being an agent of kindness doesn't have to cost a thing. Whether it is a compliment, sending a thank you note or letting someone in front of your at the grocery store or in traffic, small acts of kindness matter too.
Quotes:
"I always wished for a friend like you." -Candle Rhumel sent to Twanda
"We can be the agents of kindness" - Twanda
" I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing a kindness. Where it can be problematic is when you share the kindness for the wrong reasons. It has to do with the intent." - Rhumel
Rhumel on self-talk as a kindness: "Girrrl.... You and all your chins are looking fabulous today! Work that extra chin!"
"One of the best things is to actually take your kids no matter what the age out and do something kind for someone else. " - Rhumel
"Give genuine compliments. If their hair is jacked up don't compliment it as if it looks great." -Twanda
"I think if we are mindful of it, we can do more. Just remember even small things matter." -Rhumel
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded March 20, 2021
~This episode doesn't offer medical advice ~
We spoke with Dr. Stephanie Brown, a friend and previous podcast guest, about menopause. We took notes so we could share with you what we learned. You are going to want to hear this!
Questions/Topics:
What did your momma tell you about menopause to prepare you for where we are headed?
What are the common symptoms of menopause?
When did you realize you had begun "The Change" and what were your symptoms?
What treatments are available?
Mentions:
url: Letting Go to Level up! with Dr, Stephanie Brown
url: The Doctor is In - Dr. Simone from Bravo's Married to Medicine
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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Recorded March 6, 2021
Guest notes:
Dara Segbefia, Interior Decorator (but we call her a House Whisperer)
Questions/Topics:
How did you get started in the decorating?
What's the difference Interior Design and Interior Decorating?
What's the process for engaging with you?
How do you take a client from a magazine clipping to a reality in their real space?
How do you deal with difficult clients? Have you ever had to fire a client?
Tell us about the pretty rocks (crystals) in many of your reveal pictures.
What if I don't have a big budget? If I only have $500 can you still help me?
How is cost determined?
Guest Quotes:
I ask a lot of personal questions [of the clients] because every room has energy in it. I ask, "How do you want to feel in this space"?
I ask questions to dig into who you really are then I find the core pieces that an speak your love language.
Every time I put a crystal in someone's home, they love the feeling. It's my way of reminding them that there is peace within their home.
I love to put at least one DYI item within every client's home to give it that personal touch. I'm really big on it. That's what I believe really set me apart from other interior decorators.
Patience has to be one of the main things with getting your space together. You don't want to rush buying furniture and then not be completely invested in it by the end. That's a common mistake. Don't rush!
When I bought my current house I hired an interior decorator to help me.... It was the best money I'd spent. When I tell you I never ever regretted any of the money I spent on my decorator at all... I didn't.
- Rhumel
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: @mixxykreation
- Instagram: @TheMixxyExperience
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded February 28, 2021
Have you ever said “Yes” to something you should have said “No” to, then proceed to hate doing the thing you agreed to do? “
Yeah. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt.
We know how this started. As kids our parents often volunteered us to do stuff and we couldn’t say no. Now, as grown @$$ women, we still don’t like to tell our well-meaning parents, “No”. Fortunately, we both have parents who have done so much good for us, we choose to honor them by doing what they want us to do when we can. But let’s be honest, we have trouble saying “No” to perfect strangers trying to sell us stuff we don't want.
Ladies, why do we say “Yes” when we mean “No”?
- People pleasing – Wanting people to be happy
- Protecting image – Want people to think well of us
- Lack of will – Allowing another’s will to overcome our own
Lessons:
- Saying NO and setting boundaries is really about self care.
- Even if you started something you should have said no to, you can still walk away.
- Don’t overdo the good stuff such that it becomes a burden.
- You don’t have to convince anyone that your NO is sufficient.
- Offer a firm NO otherwise you leave the door open for them to ask again.
- Create and follow budget with your time, money and energy.
Nuggets – Fun ways to say NO that we want you to try with us:
Them: Girrrl, will you [insert something you don't want to do here]?
You:
- No thank you.
- I wish I wanted to.
- I’d rather not.
- “No.“ (Because it’s a complete sentence)
Mastering this skill is a process
Quotes:
“When I was 40, I realized I had the right to do it [say no], now that I am out of my 40s I know that I have the right and I’m getting much more comfortable with the idea of just saying no with as little explanation as possible.” – Rhumel
“I want less regrets in my life.” – Twanda
“If it is something you are volunteering for it should make you feel good.” -Rhumel
“On the phone, I reserve the right to hang that %!+(# up.” – Rhumel
“I said No. I mean no and I don’t owe you any explanation. I don’t have to tell you why I said NO. I don’t have to convince you to agree with me.” -T
“People say ‘Don’t Quit’ (humph) that’s bullshit. Quitting is not always and a bad thing. – T
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Recorded March 21, 2021.
Where did the time go? Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were kissing a skinned knee or helping our little one tie their shoes? Snapping back into our reality, those little kids are teens and young adults. They are much more independent and our role as parents is different....and a bit scary.
In this episode, we share our strategies for and challenges with embracing the empty nest syndrome. Neither of us are fully empty nesters yet so we can only hope we are on the right track. Join us for the conversation.
Quotes:
Twanda: I want to grow old gracefully!
Rhumel: No, I want to kick and scream! I don’t want to grow old gracefully. I’m not fighting aging, I don’t want to slip in quietly.
Whether it is volunteering or crafting or traveling or whatever. If you have worked on these things I think it means the transition from your kids going off and being adults a smoother transition. - Rhumel
It’s a challenge when you are used to taking the lead role in your child’s life and making the decisions for your child and all of a sudden you aren’t in the driver’s seat for it. - Rhumel
The school thing helps us prepare for when it’s totally a done deal. - Rhumel
That’s what our role becomes. Instead of controlling what they do, [we are] helping them to think through their decisions. We can’t control whether they do it or not but we can help influence them in making a better decisions. - Twanda
My mom said it was like having a constant hole in the family. - Rhumel
We just have to realize that at every point in our children‘s lives they are still our children; it’s just that we parent differently and if we can just adjust to the proper phase I think we’ll be all right. - Twanda
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Recorded February 20, 2021
There is a new social media platform on deck and we are here to demystify it for you. We are regulars on the Clubhouse app and plan to extend our podcast activities onto this new platform which, we believe, will allow us to have more interaction with our listeners. This current beta stage of the app is only available to iOS (apple iphone/ipad) so if you Team Android, this app will eventually open to you and we want to you know about it.
Questions/Topics:
Our overview covers:
- What is Club House?
- How do I join?
- What are rooms and clubs?
- What are people talking about?
- Can I create my own room?
- Does everyone in a room get to talk like a partyline (I know I revealed my age with that reference.)
- Do I need to my makeup and hair before I log on?
- What are your podcast co-hosts doing on Clubhouse?
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Clubhouse: We're Speaking! Club
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Recorded January 3 , 2021
We are back for part 2 of our review of HBO's Love Craft Country and it's Black history references with our favorite Professor Jesse Hamilton McCoy Click here for Bio .
In this episode, we dig into the show's characters, their literary and historical significance, and additional black history references. Here are a few brief snippets of what we discussed:
Hippolyta - Seems to be the black version of the Hippolyta character in Shakespeare's Mid-Summer Night's dream.
Atticus - Hat tip to Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mocking Bird? Among so many other things Atticus's storyline highlights the historical theme of Afro-Korean relationships.
Ruby - Through exploring the world as a white woman her storyline sheds light on the disparity between what it means to be black vs white in America. Did y'all know that in the Jim Crow days black people weren't free to eat vanilla ice-cream in public? No? Me either.
Diana Freeman - Diana's storyline forces us to think of how racism affected black children: Terrorism of Black children, the Emmett Till funeral as an attendee, and a harrowing experience fighting off the jig-a-boo. We could do a whole separate episode on how we currently fight off the jig-a-boo.
There is soo much in this episode you really have to listen to get the rest.
Quotes:
Tulsa was a Black Wall Street Town, Black banks, Black businesses, Black everybody. [The residents] said if we aren't willing to die for what we have here, there is no need for us to go elsewhere. - Jesse
Black people fought against the Klan and the government to their deaths to protect what they'd build in Tulsa. - Jesse
The lesson goes away because "they" don't want any one black to learn about insurrections in America. - Jesse
I think Lettie carries this show. .... My love for Lettie just increased every episode because she showed how strong she was. - Rhumel
Guest notes:
- Podcast/Website: Bruthas-N-Law
- Youtube: PanAfricana Presents Afriscope
- Facebook: Panafricana Presented by Afriscopeurl:
Book: Illiumatic by J. Hamilton McCoy
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Recorded January 3, 2021
Visiting faculty (Guest): Jesse Hamilton McCoy Click here for Bio
Topics:
I’m living proof you don’t have to watch or love the show Lovecraft Country (LCC) to glean significant historical value from the script. Here to illuminate the Black history references with his down-to-earth, no non-sense yet comical insights, is Professor Jesse Hamilton McCoy.
Historical References:
- The Freeman family (Get it? Free man) is venturing to recreate a travel guide known as the Negro Motorist Green Book. The Green book lists safe places to for Black people to stay and eat in the United States.
- Colorism is address but not symbolized in the juxtaposition of skin complexion and life burden between the two sisters Ruby and Lettie.
- It’s at this point in the recording that I realize that I would have enjoyed LCC so much better if Jessie had been providing cliff notes after each episode.
- Sundown Towns - Towns or neighborhoods in the US that practice racial discrimination by enforcing discriminatory laws and policies and violence against non-whites who remain in the area after the sun goes down. **
- Illusion Rooms - The manipulation of black people with kindness, pleasantries, and distractions so they will be lured into behaving against their best interests.
- Monsters - Monsters are scared of light. They can’t survive if you shine a light on them.**
- Tulsa Race Riots - In 1921 a racially charged mass attack on black people, their bodies, homes, and businesses in Greenwood District of Tulsa Oklahoma.
This show is full of historical references so stay tuned for part 2 airing next week!
Quotes:
“They’d call their friends in the fraternity Kappa Kappa Kappa (KKK) on black bodies not being where they were supposed to be [after 5pm].” - Jesse
“[America’s] got bells and whistles and we’ve got monsters. But if you illuminate what’s going on then all these “monsters” become minuscule.” - Jesse
” If HBO knew [what this show was really about], this show would have been cancelled” - Jesse
NOTE: At the time of this airing, it has not been picked up for season 2.
Mentions:
Guest
- Podcast/Website: Bruthas-N-Law
- Youtube: PanAfricana Presents Afriscope
- Facebook: Panafricana Presented by Afriscopeurl:
Book: Illiumatic by J. Hamilton McCoy
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp:$GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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Recorded January 30 , 2021
Valentine's Day is not just for lovers
Q)Girrrl, Can I ask you something? How do you and your husband celebrate Valentine’s day?
A) (Both of us) Very little if anything.
Q) How could this be? We are fortunate enough to have a long-time marriage, why wouldn’t we go all out each year to celebrate our love on Valentine’s Day?
A) Keep reading.
In this episode we discuss our family traditions around Valentine’s Day. Turns out, neither of us make a big deal over the “holiday” as we both see it as a retail ploy to take our money. Lucky for us our husbands agree and we keep it simple. Maybe I should say, lucky for our husbands because isn’t it the men who usually bare the burden of having to jump through hoops to express his love on V-day?
Speaking for the both of us, we want expressions of love from our spouses EVERYDAY! Moreover, flowers die and chocolates go straight to my thighs. In full transparency, we do make sure to do something special for our kids.
We discuss the origin of Valentine’s day which, by the way, was NOT the brain-child of Hallmark like I suspected.
Additionally, we elaborate on why we think this day would be better recognized as a day to show love to yourself. Seriously, how often do we make it a priority to do that? Probably not as often as we should.
Quotes:
I resent the commercialization of Valentine’s Day so much. .....Neither of us feel slighted [by not exchanging purchased cards or gifts on this day] because our goal is to do nice things for each other any time of the year. - Twanda
We spend so much time thinking about being in a relationship and expressing love for each other, but…… I’m really on more of a self-love journey. - Rhumel
Being a mom and a person with a career, there was a time where self love didn’t exist for me like I think it should have. - Rhumel
Not everybody is in a relationship. You should have a relationship with yourself. Honestly if you are not in a good relationship with yourself it makes it a lot harder to be in a good relationship with somebody else. - Rhumel
Let’s start a new trend of sharing what we did for ourselves for Valentine’s Day! - Twanda
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Recorded January 24, 2021
Letting Go to Level Up!
Dr. Stephanie Brown is a Life Coach and a physician with over 25 years in clinical practice. She is radio host and podcast host of the "Sisters Overcoming And Rising" (S.O.A.R) radio show and podcast where she provides a platform for women, especially Black women to tell their stories.
Quotes:
"Sometimes the reason we cant get to where we want to get is because there are things that are actually holding us back....energetically there are things holding us back." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"When you see the same thing on your New Year Resolution list every year that is a sign there is something holding you back that you need to let go."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"All that I was seeing in the outside world, were reflections of things going on inside."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Look at this chess board [your life]. You are the Queen, you are not a pawn. You can make whatever move you want to make."- Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Whatever it is that you want to be, think the thoughts as if you were already there and you'll get there before you know it." - Dr. Stephanie Brown
"Every so often we have to be reminded of who we are." - Twanda Baker
" I want to shake people sometimes and say, 'C'mon we got to believe in ourselves just a little bit more'" Rhumel Anderson
Guest
- Instagram: @sistersovercomingandrising
- Podcast/Website: www.stephaniebrowncoaching.com
- Facebook: @stephaniebrowncoaching
Please support our podcast:
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Recorded January 23 , 2021
Topic:
How to love when you feel like leaving
Guest notes:
April Grant is the founder of The Other Side of 40 Blog and Podcast where she encourages us to embrace each new chapter and release anxieties around getting older.
Pre-topic Banter:
Happy Birthday Rhumel! She is an inauguration baby. Speaking of the inauguration, we all found ourselves feeling lighter and happier on that day. Nobody missed the beautiful gem-toned monochromatic wardrobe of the ladies highlighted on this day. Furthermore we had a great laugh at the Bernie memes.
We talked about it:
Every marriage will come to a point (or points) where it gets hard, like really hard. Challenges are to be expected. Actually, you should plan on it.
Hearing stories of how other married couples found themselves at a breaking point, then overcame is invaluable! Enter April Grant.
During this conversation, April walks us through "the wake up call that we needed", the event that exposed the vulnerabilities in her marriage and then she describes how they worked together to fortify their relationship.
- Compliments in DMs
- Realizing of lack of intimacy in marriage
- Breaking point - having that hard conversation
- Healing through commitment and counseling
Episode Quotes:
"[Compliments by male friend] made me feel a way I hadn't felt in my marriage in a long time... I don't know if I'd want to go through the next 40 years of my life NOT feeling attractive and wanted." - April
"[Male friend] makes me feel good. He makes me feel loved and he makes me feel like there is someone looking at me, not as a wife and mother, but just April." - April
"He's [Husband] paying the bills and giving me space, but I don't have the passion and affection that I really want" - April
"If things don't change around here I will leave!" - April
"Prostitutes wouldn't be making good money if it was about intimacy and passion. You can have sex without either of those. ....guys mistakenly think well we are having sex so of course we are intimate." - Rhumel
" I think every marriage goes through the need to reinvent itself and to rejuvenate the feelings of flirty-ness inside the marriage." - Twanda
"It's universal that long term couples a five year period where we struggle, this is our 5-year period. If we can work through this, I know we'll be better for it on the other end." - April's husband
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram:@otherside40
- Podcast: The Other Side of 40 Podcast
- Website: https://www.theothersideof40.com/
- Twitter:@otherSide40
- Facebook:@OtherSide40
Related:
- episode: Love Languages
- episode: No Regrets- convo w/ couple married 50 yrs
- episode: Can Men and Women be Friends?
- episode: How to fix your relationship
Love challenges you may want to try (in marriage)
https://www.thedatingdivas.com/marriage-love-challenges/
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
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Recorded January 16, 2021
Questions/Topics: Top 5 books from our book club (and when we say 5 we mean 6)
Happy Birthday Rhumel!
(She's an Inaguration baby.)
-
Tinaca Jones by Matt Boren https://amzn.to/3nYI2Ni
-
The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen https://amzn.to/3ivmHd6
3 Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King https://amzn.to/3iB1Aq8
-
My Grandma Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry. by Fredrik Backman https://amzn.to/2M8KLq5
-
Born a Crime: Stories of a South African Childh ood by Trevor Noah https://amzn.to/3bW8yoq
-
My soul to keep. (African Immortals series) by Tananarive Due https://amzn.to/3o37qBw
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
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Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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Welcome back to our show. Welcome back everybody. This is Twanda and this is Rhumel, Hi Rhumel. Hey girl. Hey. Hey, do you know, my daughter called me today to say it was snowing at Chapel Hill. That's crazy. I didn't know. I was like this close to, to run our mouth, you know? Did you snow? No, I did not see any snow outside right now and it is sun shiny.
Beautiful. I know it's cold. It ain't tricking me, but I know. Yeah, it wasn't. I went out today and I didn't think it was that cold enough to snow. Definitely. I didn't feel that, you know, this is North Carolina, weather y'all, I guess the five miles to like where your daughter is, is just like, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't live that far from chapel Hill, so that's kind of crazy. Yeah. She Facetimed me. I got to see snow in North Carolina today. Well, I'm okay without it. Yeah, it was, she just caught, it felt like it was insult on top of injury at UNC they're required to take a COVID test before classes began. And so they're all in this long, long line waiting to get a COVID test and on campus.
And then it starts to snow. Ah, yeah, I wouldn't be upset about that too. My daughter has to do COVID test to go back to school too, but they could get it anywhere. And then they had to upload the results somewhere. And they, then they could go and now she has to be tested every two weeks. That's what they're doing at the school too.
I believe it's every, every week or so they ha they are able to get a test. I don't know if they have to, but anyway, I just wanted to say sign O' the times, you know, this is the world pretty soon. We'll be talking about getting a vaccine and getting on the list for that. Yes. So that's kind of exciting. It is.
I'm glad that there's at least an option out there for us. Yeah. Yeah. We're moving along. Yeah. 2021. And it might be a little rosier. I know. You'd like to look at it with rose colored glasses, but I tell you what it's been challenging to do that. Right. It's been challenging. Politically, Absolutely. It's been challenging. Yeah. 2020 was like, you know, like.
Okay, so I'm out, but I got my friend 2021 ..No, 2021 is 2020 with a wig. That's what that is as all that, because it was like seven days in it's like, ha ha hold my beer.
But yeah. And then I'm really concerned about what's going to happen on your birthday. So, first of all, let's just say Rhumel's birthday is coming up, coming up probably the day after when you hear this episode. Yes, I'm an inauguration baby. So I share the birthday with an inauguration every four years. So depending on. Who gets inaugurated. Depends on how hard I celebrate it.
Do you know this time? It's just different. It's just this real different it is. I have to say that the idea of leaving the United States. It's still okay. The top of my head, it's still in play. It's still in play. I mean, United States looking kinda SUS. Right. Absolutely. Right. I dont even know if I used that right. I think you did, but who knows if you said it right?
Cause how would I know? But I think we did. I think we did good. Okay. Oh my goodness. Today we decided to take a, to take a look back and hopefully give some. Nice recommendations for books. Cause we like books, right? Yeah. We decided to have a recommendation series episode for the podcast, and we love books.
We're part of this book club, and we haven't done a lot to tell you which books we like. So we, we really worked hard to pick five, I mean, like pulling teeth to pick, but, and I, and sometimes Rhumel, and I are so alike. I would, I was expecting that maybe we would get all the 5 same, you know most of them, and we did, we did, we chose the three Books.
Yeah, the exact same. We actually, it was hard to come down to five books because when we sent each other, our list, each of our lists had eight on there and you're always supposed to, we were only supposed to do five, but we both went over by three. Then talk about it first, but it was so hard. I. We really like the book.
I can't wait to tell you about some of these because yeah. Some of them are really, actually most of them are, but there's one like. Kind of surprised her that surprise book that's in there. That's probably not so well-known, but we really love. Okay. Well, we are also put all the book names and links to the book and the summary or the episode notes, or you'll get a chance to.
Find the book and get access to, to that. I do audio books. So that's how I experienced. And most of them, I say you probably would be able to enjoy them. If you were an actual read with book in hand, like don't know you were doing it, it didn't sound judge-y. No, I'm just saying people actually still do that.
Actually I was a convert because, you know, I used to be like, Oh, I don't, I don't want to listen audible. I don't want to do it. And the first couple of books I turned down and understand that that doesn't make any sense. I literally can't do anything else. Like you have to hold a book, read it, turn a page.
You can't, you have to like read a book and that's all you can do you have time for that? There is like nothing better than snuggling up in your favorite chair and sitting down with a book that you really enjoying. There's something very, I don't know. It's very, it sounds like a luxury. That's self-care we ain't got time for that.
Get it done while you're driving the work done while you're washing the dishes and doing laundry, we got to get this reading done no time for self 2021. Right. Yeah, but we should, yeah, you should work on self care. It ain't going to be reading books. I like to listen to my books. Okay. So anytime you hear me say, I read a book, I read it.
I listened to it. That's what I mean when I say that's good. I'm happy for you. I, and I do. I listen to them now. I'm actually quite a difficult to the idea of reading of reading by listening. So I am right there with you now. I'm right there. First books that we agreed on, it was hands down one of my favorite books of all time, because it was a fun read.
It had me laughing and it was, it had some lots of unexpected things that happen or occurred. It was amazing for you. Please tell me the name of the book. So I don't. By Matt Boren. I think the real important factor for this book is the narrator is Retta and she's been on television. And I, once you hear her voice you'll know.
You've seen her before. Right. I don't know that I had, I can't remember if I had seen her, but she played this role so well, you know how you can listen to someone and say, Oh, that's a black woman speaking. You listen to her and you go. That is a black woman speaking. And not just because of the sound of her voice, but how she spoke.
So she was definitely using, you know what it is, right? Well, she was on parks and recreation. Oh yeah. And she's also on NBC's good girls. Okay. Yeah. Never, never watch that. I've watched one of each of those. Things, but she she's also been on some commercials and things like that. So in shorts and things like that.
So you, there's a good chance that you had at least heard her voice before, but she is the reason why this book is. Yeah, she, she nailed it and how she spoke. And she was a home girl from down on the block. I mean, she has this, she definitely doesn't necessarily speak correct English, but she can, maybe she did, but she just threw in a MF here.
I don't know. I mean, she knows how to speak. The thing about it is, is you have Tinicaa , who is a cashier by day, as they say, and I'm a household making by night household name in making by night. So she is a cashier, but she has all these lofty goals and she has the education behind her to back her goals.
Right, right. She doesn't sound like it. That we judge people by setting up, I judge people by how they sound and how they speak and to see her at the grocery store. And I think they, the book set me up for that. So I don't really feel bad about this, but she's the kind of woman who you hear her speak. And I think, Oh yeah, she's a cashier at a grocery store.
So she probably doesn't have a lot of education. She knows all so much about all the. Tat, whatever the tabloids are talking about. She's up on it. She's read about it. And so my, okay. Judge me, if you will. I looked at her at first and said, Oh, okay. She's, you know, she probably can't work right. In many places, you know, maybe she doesn't have the skills.
And she clearly spends all her day reading tabloids at the grocery store. And so she's, you know, this is kind of the, the best job she could do. And yeah. They walked me into it and then flipped my world when they explained who she was and what she wanted to do with all this knowledge and all of her background and how she tended out to be an extraordinarily well-rounded person who had a personality that kept me laughing.
Just nonstop. I was writing quotes left and right for our book club. Cause I just enjoyed how she said things. She she's very quick witted. Very intentional with what she says to people. She, yeah, she used a lot of references, like cultural references, whatever people are talking about in the world, you'd have, I even had to look up scenarios that happened with famous people or celebrities, just to make sure I got the reference she made in, in her speech.
And she used it really well. I was like, okay. I was so impressed with the character. By the time we get halfway through the book, I was just like, wow. I wanted her to be my best friend. So I didn't even know how to say, I want her to be my best friend. I just, I loved the way the story read. And then there was the amazing surprise that I ignored when I, we first got the book.
It said that the book was written by a man. I was like, how is a man going to write her? Like, how is he going to do that? And then not only was he a man, he was a white man. Yeah, writing, it just made you go, like he must have known somebody like that. Has that kind of wit and whatnot. Yeah, for real, I was like, Whoa, who is his?
Like, who does he know? And how did he grow up? And how does he know these things and who else is helping him? Right. Cause how do you be a white man and right. That like a black woman, it just. He did an excellent job. Excellent. So I it's, I still don't really believe as a white man, but so the book in and of itself had me reading nonstop at the end of my seat.
And is this delay, everybody know the, the whole basis of the book is Tinica. Her name is stolen by this woman with a really basic name Kelly Smith. And so her. This is her journey to getting her name back. And it just was fun. If you're looking for a book, that's going to be like intellectually stimulating.
This is probably not the book. Not the one Something that's going to be like, maybe less than stereotypical. This is probably not the one there's going to be some stereotypical kind of, you know, things. But if you just want to just sit back. Throw your feedback and just laugh. I just found it lots and lots of fun. It was really great.
It was like the Forrest Gump for black people. I can't figure it was, it was good. It was so good. I loved that book and surprising. I would, I think I might have to read it again now. Its short too. I think it's like three and a half or four. Four hours or something like that. That means I could get it done again this weekend.
It was good. I would, I would recommend that highly for when you have a, you need some light reading and you want to laugh a little bit, lean back and relax.
That was so what was your, what was your next one you wanted to talk about? Oh, the wife between us by Greer Hendrix and Sarah Pekkanen. Are you finding out you'll see it.
Yeah. In the notes. First of all, two people writing this book, I think I remember, but reading a little bit about who they were and that they were, maybe they were friends and they decided to write a book together and it, it was a great, it made sense that two people would write this book. I got like halfway through the book.
Found something out, started the book all over and do the same thing. Cause you said, you told me, you said something happens and I had to start all over again and then I could not go for it. This book now. No, where they unveiled something somewhere near the middle. And I was like, Nope, I'm going back. andI started over. I think I called you.
I was like, yep. I got to that exact same part. And now I gotta start all over because I obviously didn't get something, but yeah, I miss it. It was, it was one of those six sense moments where you learn something and then you go. No, I got a, watch it over again, start over with a new perspective. And that right there was what I can appreciate about, I mean, there was more than I appreciate it, but that I appreciate it a lot.
Yeah, absolutely. The I like the fact that the fact that it was two writers, it, their writing, the way they wrote was similar enough that it wasn't distracting that there were two different writers. Right, right. No, I didn't know. I think the idea of the two different writers work for this type of book, because there are multiple characters that we're tracking.
And then, so the different perspectives worked very well with two different writers, but I mean, technically in order for them to write as well and to write. About the same thing, but to write from different point of views, I thought they did a really great job. They really did. Remember. Maybe we should write a book together.
That would be interesting. We can do this. You know what, why not? Okay. We'll put it on our to do list. We'll, we'll put it on our bucket list because that, that might be, but yeah, the, the wife between us. Had me at hello. I was able to, I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much. I went halfway through it and started all over again.
I was like, I'm going to do this ride again because it was, so it was, it had a mystery. It felt a little mysterious or twisted. It was that it's, I don't want to say too much about this particular book, because like, literally it would be so easy to give it away and Basically all you really knows is there's, there's a wife between us, you know, and go from there, just li just listen to it or read it.
And literally this book is going to keep you guessing to the last page. There'll be some things that you think you figured it out and you're like, Oh yeah, everything's whatever. And then you go, Oh, Yeah, that one was, I loved it. Loved it. Loved it. That was a fun book. I think this one's a really good one for any book club would enjoy that way.
I agree. I agree. Book clubs would love it. Hey, this next one. This was your jam. Now I enjoy this book, but it was part of a series and you watch the whole, you listen to the whole thing. When they have a TV series around it. Okay. So the book that that we're talking about is called Mr. Mercedes it's by Stephen King.
Now I like Stephen King. I used to watch watch re re like page turn a lot of his books back in the day. And so this was a good riff going back to Stephen King. Yeah, I really, really enjoyed this one. This one was really about a detective who was investigating. A murder and then the battle of the minds between him, the detective and the murderer, and trying to catch the murderer before he does more harm.
Now, this book has its turns, its twist it's.wEird. It's there were like some sections in there that you go like you're scratching your head. There was some like telepathy in there. I mean, like there's, there's all kinds of things, I think there was some points. I don't want it to even read it through my fingers.
It was like, Oh, it was, it was a lot going on. But if you it's not. Intensely like a horror film. It's actually, no. Yeah, cause I'm not into horror that much, but Stephen King, this book is not really about the horror there. The murders are in there. Terrifying, just like a murder mystery. It's a mystery. It is more of a murder mystery and kind of walking through the lives between the detective and the murderer and how they match, you know, Stephen King true to fashion does a great job with character development and he tells a good story.
And so, yeah. If you already like in, you know, strap in and enjoy this. Yeah. There were three books. I enjoyed all three. There was maybe one that I was less excited about, but if you. You mean in the series? Yeah. But all three of them were good. All three of them were definitely good. So I would recommend those.
So that was it, but for me, but you liked, what was it called? My grandmother asked me to tell you that. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a longs. No, that's not even the end of the title. The title is okay. My grandmother asked me to tell you she's sorry by Frederick Backman or Frederick Backman. He's well, he, this was a Swedish book that had to be converted to English, translated to English.
I really like this book too. I forgot. She forgot that she liked it so much. And it is a story about a relationship between an.. and I'm, it's going to sound like a spoiler, but it's not, it's a relationship between the grandmother and the granddaughter. And then the grandmother dies and then sends the granddaughter on this one last adventure.
And these two are best friends, best eats, mainly because the little girl who's seven is different and she doesn't have friends. And so her grandma is her best, best friend. And her grandmother. Has it does, does we, it she's, she's eccentric, eclectic. She does things, you know, no other grandmother does.
And then she does things that all of the grandmother do, but she, she was just kind of wild and she made a good friend for a seven year old and. One of the things, and I can't remember, it's been such a long time since we read this book, but one of the things that I do recall is that the grandmother may, you know, they had, they shared stories and adventures and storytelling together, and there was a story world called the land of almost awake.
And then there were kingdoms in the land of almost awake. They might've even had a language. I can't quite remember, but it was so amazing to listen to them, go through the adventures that were storytelling adventures, as well as what they actually did together. And then the grandmother dies and sends, the little girl on an adventure that has her delivering.
"I'm sorry", notes from the grandmother to all these different people and then the storytelling blooms into what is it that grandma sorry for and who is it that she sorry to. And they, we form relationships with everybody. She has to go and meet and deliver these notes to the author is an awesome storyteller.
Great with character development. I left there with a lot of little quotes that I enjoyed and I, it was just a really good feel, good book, even though there's death and grieving, just the way she handled that and how that relationship was beautiful. I'd love this book. I want to read this one again too, but I think this one was a, I think it was, but you know what?
I. The funny thing is while you're sitting there talking about it, I'm going like, wow. I don't remember. I don't think I remember this book though. Like, I don't, like, I don't have the same, like when you said the name of it, I was like, Oh yeah, but as you're describing it, I'm going like. Did I read that same book?
Well, this is also not a spoiler, but the last adventure, like I said, it was her grandmother had left her a note to give to a neighbor or somebody. And then when the little girl Elsa gave the note to that neighbor, she learned about that neighbor and learned more about her grandmother. And then. Something in the conversation would lead her to where the next note was hidden.
And then she'd find that next note and she'd meet somebody else. And the connections between the people that you didn't expect, or you wouldn't have known that comes out. It was a heartwarming, beautiful story. I loved it. I thought anybody would, would, would like that one actually. Okay. Don't be mad at me.
I'm calling an audible. I was just like, Oh yeah, audible. Okay. I'm no, that reminds me of the man called. Oove, I think it's the same. Okay. That makes a lot of sense because a lot of the the overarching tones of what you're talking about reminded me of that book. And I love that, but too. So I don't know why, I don't know why I don't have the memory for it that way, but we've read so many books in book clubs.
That was the hardest part. I think of picking off some of these books is that we liked them in the moment, but yeah. It's over what five, six years now. So we don't remember all the books with the same. Oh, the details. I remember the sentiment behind it. And that was a book that we all felt really good about.
We could all go on the journey. We felt sad when she experienced grief and we felt light when she had these experiences to tell her more about her grandmother, that she didn't learn while her grandmother was alive. And I think it's. Heartwarming. I mean, during this time, we've got a lot of people who are losing people during this pandemic.
True. This is like a heal. I think this is an example of someone healing through the brief, and I think it could be good for, for anybody. So this one might need a little bit of tissue, but seriously, it was a fun, fun book. I like that.
It was good that you forgot that. I forgot that I liked it, but I'm all for it. I might actually pick that one up again since we've already, once it's already in our library. Right. So might as well, but you know what? I have 280 something books in my audible. Oh, I saw that. Yeah, it was like, a LOT, I liked to read and when I say read, I mean, listen.
Yeah, I don't have nearly as many, cause I think I basically listened to our book club book and maybe an occasional one, additionally, but I usually just get the one book in per month. But. You know, it's nice to have other learned friends. I'd just like to, I just like to look so great. I can't wait to get to the next book onour list
I'll let you introduce it. So this is Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah now. I, I will not. I love him. I do. I really love him. Now, if you're a book Turner, I get it. But this one you have to listen to because Trevor Noah actually narrates. The book and he speaks, how was it?
Six different languages or something like that, several different languages. And so and to hear him speak in the different languages in Africa that he speaks is amazing. And, and then he has the language with the cliques and he cooperates that and it's like, yeah, yeah. It's amazing to hear him speak in those different ways.
And to just to hear him walk through his life as a child in South Africa with being mixed race in South Africa and whatnot. Yeah. For him. And yeah, he was born and he and his, his. Dad, couldn't walk on the same side of the street, that kind of thing. So none of it, I don't remember thinking any of it was sad.
He just has a very smart way of delivering the his life message like his life. It was intensely funny. It was intensely interesting. It was thought provoking. It was all the things, right. I like these books because these biographies, because it tells us the steps, how do they get to be who they are right now?
And back when we read it, I didn't even know much about who Trevor Noah was like my kids, my son was like, my son. Inspires to be a comedian. My son was like, that's Trevor. I know Trevor Noah. Oh, you're reading this book. And I'm like, Oh, you know, I'm right. I mean, I didn't. And after this book I was always watching his show.
Like I still record this show all the time and that's just like to watch, I it's like to watch him. He's extraordinarily smart. Man. And then by listening to his story and figuring out how he got from one place to another, he has a huge hustle game. Like he knows how to hustle to get something done. And him telling me stories about South Africa, I've heard stories, but then to hear stories by someone who lived there and lived it, it's just different than what I can get on television and what definitely don't learn enough in school.
So I, it was, it was an amazing. Read. And then I just found it very, I've not been to Africa in country, in Africa yet. So just to have somebody telling me what it was like, And then what it was like during that time, it thoroughly fascinating of a wonderful speaker and storyteller. And he's funny. And yeah, I only knew of Trevor Noah before.
And so like I knew who he was like, I could pick them up. Out of a pit, you know, set of pictures or whatever, but I didn't know anything about his story. I didn't know that, you know, he was mixed. You know, I didn't know that we all know he's mixed. Have you seen the man look at the man? You knew he was a light-skinned black man.
No, my dad is lighter than he is my dad. Is this stuff that you don't know about your dad?
Okay. So one day we are going to do a DNA test and we called it the truth. Yeah, there's another story. That's another episode for another time, but yes, I can look at him. Okay. Nevermind. Okay. Okay. Anyway, so, but no, it was a, it was a fabulous, it was fabulous. Listening to him tell the story and. I would recommend it.
This was, this was hard because we had a number of non-fiction books that we struggled with trying to figure out which one is it going to be? Which one is it going to be? But I think that this one, was it just because you it's something completely different. Yeah. And it, it was a, it was, it was fascinating.
It's a fun, it's a fun read because he's, he's Comedian. So he definitely makes it funny and he's very smart. I really appreciate intelligence. And so he can put things to get, he, he knows his history and he, he knows background and he follows politics. So he's, he's just a really good person to listen to say anything.
I think just, it was really good. Go backwards for a second, though. Sure. We were talking about how good it is to listen to this one because he speaks and that's so much part of the story, how he's throwing in the different languages. That's part of the story. Well, in the very first book we talked about Tinica Jones.
I just wanted to throw in. I hate, we didn't say that listening to this book, wasn't just about her wonderful attitude and personality and delivering the lines that she read. You actually get to hear. Part everything that was going on. So if they were in a room and somebody put a coffee cup down on the table, you actually got to hear the coffee cups and down the table, it was more of a production for the team, with the Jones books I wanted to throw in.
That was another reason why listening to that book was so amazing. Yeah, it's more of like an audio drama, different voices in there. You get to hear like a lot of times when green, if you're listening to audible you have one voice that does all the characters. And so, and sometimes you'll go, wait a minute.
Am I listening to this character or that character. Cause sometimes, you know, it's hard to make the character sound so different, but you have men and women in here with their different voices. And that really, really adds to just the drama. It's a, it's like an audio drama rather than I hate to pull us back.
I just wanted to make sure that people knew that that's why the listening of this was so important to sign up. Absolutely. Thank you for that. Then let's round it up with the last book on our list. Let me just tell you the author's name first, because I kept forgetting the name of the series already, but Tananarive Due.
She's amazing. She has written a number of books that I've read one in this series and another book that we enjoy it a lot. So I can't wait to see what else. She does. Could you tell us the name of the series? Cause I don't remember the name of the books. I don't remember the series, name of the series is African imortals.
Okay. Okay. So that kind of tells you what the story is about. I mean like the whole series is basically about these group of people, men, particularly African who have found a way to be immortal. And and so this series is really about a couple who become immortal, but they are now being chased by the other, I think they're living outside of the immortal commun community.
Yes. They're trying to, you know, it's like, no, you can't do that. You'd have to live here. You have to protect, there are special powers and a story. I think I'd like to, because first of all, these were black people with superpowers. Can we just say black people, the superpowers is fascinating to me, black people with the superpower of being immortal and the way she tells the story and the way you get to explore what that world is like.
I was, it was fascinating. So generally I might not like, I dunno. I dunno. Yeah. That's not my thing either. I think this Oh, is they say it's award-winning master of horror, AFO, Afrofuturism. Yeah. Okay. Whatever this is, I enjoyed it. And I, we,
we, as a group and I book club, you know, we often will read the first of a series and then others, if they want to read it, they can keep reading it. Because it doesn't hit everybody the same way. This one hit everybody the same way. And we were excited to read all three. We had three, we read three. This one was good.
It was good. I didn't want to tell I'm sorry. I can't say much besides I don't want to say too much, but that, that's why it's only around the. Basic fact that there are mortals and they're being chased and there they go back and forth between Miami and Africa. And it's a really, really nicely woven story.
And I love authors who can allow me to create the visual of what's going on in, you know what I mean? The movie would never do it. Justice. I'm just saying. It could, but then it would ruin all the little designs and things of like when they're in these caves and stuff and this underground world, I just, I have have it all built in my head.
I, because of the ju uh, the December 21st black people are going to get super powers. You know what, one of my superpowers that, that I said, Ooh, if I had a superpower, it would maybe it'd be it. None of them were immortal, but it was fun in the moment of reading that book to think about what it would be like to be immortal or to know someone who was a mortal.
But then I would hate them privately because I'd be getting older. And they would look the same and they wouldn't be getting older and then I would low-key hate them. So I don't know, but it would be weird, but it was, it was, it was fun to go down that journey. I was all in on that one on that whole series that the living blood and my soul to take.
I don't know if I got the order right. My Soul to keep is the first one. Oh, really? Yes. The thing about is I always got it. Like. I always thought in my head that the living blood was the first one, but I found out that it's not. So, but it doesn't matter if you go and look up books by 10. Thank you.
Cause I always mess her name up and that she doesn't deserve that you look that up or the African immortals. Series, you will get these books. If you're into good writing and want to take a trip in your head, cause you can't go anywhere right now. This is definitely the series. This is definitely her via this series.
Literally I think is the top three. Series or books in like my repertoire, if you will, if someone asked me one of my favorite books, this is always in that list because it was so good. So okay. I feel really good about the books we provided because I, I enjoyed them all. I actually, so if you read one of these books and you don't like them as well, Well, I liked the enjoy giving.
Well, you learn a little bit more about me and what I like. I'm always interested if you've read some of these books and you enjoy them. And you can say, Ooh, if you liked that book, you'd probably like fill in the blank book. Oh, please, please comment. I would love to hear what other books. Don't you know, might not know about so well look recommendations as well.
We love the book recommendations because when it's our turn to pick the book for book club, isn't it. And I wanted to good. I want to pick out something good. We have had doozies where I picked out a book and. To this day, like, I didn't like that book
because that's the worst
anyway, but we don't always hit a home run with each other when we pick books. So we have that stress in, if you have books that you enjoyed as if you enjoy as well, please give it, you know, drop us a note. We'd love to listen to more books, but things hands down. We love them. We enjoy them a lot. Yeah, absolutely.
I love them. So yeah, I'm looking forward. I hope that everybody will when we make posts, we blue post on Facebook Instagram. So please feel free to leave notes there. Or you can always email talk2us@girrrlpodcast.com. We take not only books suggestions, but if you have a topic you want us to talk about and Yeah.
Anything, anything talk to us. We talk back. We do, we do, we answer emails. Thanks. We've got an art ones with eight. We've able to move on quite yet, but keep it coming. We have, we have, yeah. Yeah. We have used topics that came from our listeners. So we do appreciate that. So before we close out, I just want to remind people, please make sure.
If you enjoy our podcast, one of the simplest things that you can do that is free. Is to share our episodes, share our podcast with somebody thinks we'd like it. And that's simple and it's free. So if you can do that for us, we would so much appreciate that. But otherwise thank you guys for joining us today and listening to what our favorite books are.
We can not wait to hear what you guys have for us in terms of the books. So make sure you hit us back. All right. So until next time, peace and blessings. Thanks for joining us today. Don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to this podcast, you can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at girl podcast.
That's girl with three RS. If you want to participate in our segment. Ask your girlfriends, email talk2us@girrrlpodcastatgmail.com. That's girl with three RS. So until next time, peace and blessings.
Recorded January 2, 2021
Topics:
- What are your feelings about the new year?
- Let's talk about new year resolutions. Do you make them?
- Who actually sees their resolution through? (Who are you people? Really we want to know.)
- The history of new year resolutions
- Resolutions vs Intentions
Quotes:
"I'm peeking from the corner at 2021 like, 'What you got?' Let me see first." -T
"...everybody in 2019 was like, 'Girrrl 2020 gonna be my year of vision!' We got real excited to get real disappointed." -R
R: I'm a little rosy. I'm optimistic in a lot of ways.
T: Bless your heart.
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded October 3, 2020
Guest: Executive Coach, Farah Bernier
Questions/Topics:
- What is executive coaching?
- "Executive" sounds corporate, does executive coaching include entrepreneurs or employees?
- Is "coaching" just code for therapy?
- How do you create a good coach/client relationship?
- Can this coaching address a black woman's issues in the workplace?
Quotes:
"You are the executive of your life".
"My job is to partner with you and go future focused and mitigate the gap between the knowing and not knowing of the steps to accomplishing your goals".
"What you want is a partnership [with your coach] for the short-term goals you have, then decide if you want to continue for your long-term goals".
"Coaching is, beyond measure, valuable"!
"When I stopped looking at things, situations, opportunities, from the lens of why and started asking 'Why not?', life literally changed"
Guest links:
- Instagram: @livingfabulouslyfierce
- Website: http://farahbernier.com/
- Podcast: Living Fabulously Fierce
- Blog: Living Fabulously Fierce
- Facebook: Living Fabulously Fierce
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded December 6, 2020
In this episode we review a few of our favorite and/or profound episodes of the year.
Topics:
- Ep. 41 who is in your village with Dr El Brown Explanation of spare key using HBO's Insecure as a backdrop.
- Ep. 31 Follow Your Dreams with Tameka Fryer Brown
We picked up on a trend. The creative mind is most active in your dream-state. - Ep. 58 What Do You Need To Know About Being in a Relationship With A Narcissist
Being in a narcissistic relationship is like dealing with an addiction. - Ep. 38 We Are Not Ok
Processing the aftermath of George Floyd’s death - Ep. 42 The Doctor Is In
We learn to ask for what we need and deserve from our doctors. - Ep. 32 Unpopular Opinions
We loved the whole episode and chose a clip with our assessment of the movie The Photograph.
Transition audio Credit:
S: sing bowl wave bird relaxtion meditation music by smilecat77 -- License: Creative Commons 0
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded October 25, 2020
Guest notes:
Vernita Griffith is a wife, mother, MeeMee, entrepreneur, trainer, lover of family and an unshakable optimist dedicated to enriching relationships and shining a positive light on marriages.
I met Vernita at my church where She and her husband Ken are the leaders of the marriage ministry. I've attended a number of her workshops , y'all she is skilled at getting you to have fun while you learn and take on sometimes challenging content... and she is the bomb. Very passionate about her work. She truly seems to be doing her life's work.
Discussion Questions:
Did your husband come with an instruction manual?
Has your marriage met your expectations from the beginning to now?
At what point to you reset your expectations and what point to you stop compromising?
Is your spouse really broken or just not molded into the shape you want them to be?
What are the keys to communicating effectively in marriage?
Should you marry for love or friendship?
Quotes:
"I've been married about 24 years and around 15 years in I discovered how I was really part of the problem. I blamed him for 15 years!" - Rhumel
I blamed him for not doing what I wanted him to do. - Rhumel
It did take a while to figure out my husband is not a pushover, I can't tell him what to do... I tried! - Twanda
It's more about getting the groove of marriage and learning how to spend your life with another person. - Twanda
The key is always communication. It always boils down to whether you can talk to each other. - Vernita
I think as couples we don’t think enough in terms teams. – Vernita
My husband and I are on the same team and we are in it to win it together. - Vernita
Mentions:
Guest
- Podcast/Website: TriTeamUnited.com
- Show: AfterTheIDoShow.com
url: True Color Personality Assessment
url: Our Love Languages Episode
url: Enrich your Life Series: Mommy Retreats
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded December 5, 2020
Questions/Topics:
Getting ready for Christmas can be stressful. Who am I kidding it IS stressful in our camp. I know 'Tis the season and all, but for real for real, we are looking at a mound of tasks to do and consider between now and Christmas day. Girrrl... this mound is looking more like a mountain.
We are:
- online ordering all the things and tracking all our packages (we are also behind schedule)
- planning our Christmas dinner menus ( probably downsizing it though)
- decorating our homes inside and out
- working full time
We are busy.
This episode covers our anxieties and excitement around the upcoming holiday. Laughter is the best medicine. Chuckle with us.
Quotes:
I am not ready for Christmas, I'm never ready. - Rhumel
Bah Humbug - Twanda
I'm not a Grinch, but I will probably sound like one this episode. - Twanda
The way my bank account works... - Rhumel
Mentions:
url: Our Love Languages Episode
url: Twanda's magnificent to-do list system
url: Thanksgiving Family Movie Night picks
- Rhumel Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
- Twanda Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Saturday, September 12 , 2020
Questions/Topics:
Cut out that which is dead and pour into that which has life so it can grow:
Getting rid of the stuff that holds us back and no longer serves us just makes sense. Pouring into something that is not pouring back into us exhausts our energy.... and our energy is finite; we only have so much to give.
If you take the time to evaluate, you may notice area of your life where you are giving to entities that can't or won't give back to you. Seriously, this could be the split-ends of your hair, old clothes from your closet, toxic friends on Facebook, a job, an organization, a relative, or a vice. Cutting off that which is weighing you down takes courage and practice. For some, it requires overcoming the fear of loss, and that's real. However, when you do shed the "dead weight", the results are soul-freeing.
Something that might help is the way you think about it. Rather than shedding dead weight think of it as making space in your life for what you truly want.
Guest notes:
Returning guest - Dr. El Brown from Who is in your village Episode 45
Quotes:
Some things we may want to hold on to but they might be dead and lifeless and not serving us. When you cut those things out... when the dust blows over and you get to the rebirth you find that your life is light and bouncy. - Dr. El
If it's not serving any purpose it is weighing you down. - Dr. El
I've reached the age where I know what I want, I'm not trying to prove anything to anybody. I'm tired of doing stuff I don't want to do. I refuse to do it anymore. - Twanda
I've gone through that transition too. The older I've gotten, it's like, If I don't want to do I don't want to it. I just say I'm not interested. - Rhumel
[Earlier in my life saying I wasn't interested] was the hardest thing to say because I didn't want to disappoint people. I didn't want them to think I was mean. I had to learn that I was a priority in my own life. -Rhumel
No is a complete sentence. #LeaveMeAlone - El
Mentions:
Guest
- Podcast/Website: Straight Talk from Dr. El
- Facebook: @StraightTalkwithDrE
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded October 9, 2020
Guest notes:
Monica’s adventurous spirit has taken her in many different directions and avenues including cosmetology, publishing, and the music industry.
As a freelance artist and consultant, Monica Wisdom has worked with celebrities and companies, including, The Isley Brothers, Lela Rochon, Carole’s Daughter, Atlantic Records, and DreamWorks Records just to name a few.
Her IG page is called "Black women amplified" and is described as a destination for Black women who are ready to build their vision, share their story and knowledge with the world.
Questions/Topics:
What is your definition of a Vision Board?
Should we take our 2020 Vision Boards and repurpose them for next year or throw them out?
Quotes from Guest:
You can dream and you can have the life that you want.
It's about what you want to emerge from the center of you.
The Vision Board is an opportunity to say who you are.
Everything you have and don't have comes from inside of you.
Say to yourself: Why do I want these things and why don't I have these things now?
You have your destination, and you have where you are. The whole, how you get there, That's not your job.
Your job is to clear space for it to happen, prepare for it to happen, and visualize it happening.
Mentions:
- Instagram: @blackwomenamplified
- Website: blackwomenamplified.com
- Podcast: No Hashtags Required
- Facebook: Black Women Amplified
URL: Law of Attraction/Manifestation
URL: Law of Correspondence
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Saturday November 21, 2020
Questions/Topics:
PTSD behavior: toilet paper buying compulsion
How are you navigating family time during quarantine Thanksgiving?
- Only nuclear family at dinner
- Zoom Christmas movies with family
- Zoom Drop-ins: Have zoom up in 2 family households as we move around the kitchen.
What's your Thanksgiving menu?
What qualifies as "Chocolate Cake"? This is a true controversy for us.
Christmas Tree: Real or Fake?
Quotes:
"It's Turkey Time! I don't know why I'm saying it like that I don't really like turkey like that." - Rhumel (The vegetarian)
Mentions:
Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas on Amazon PrimeJingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey - on NetflixPlease support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded October 3, 2020
Topic: Are you really a friend if you aren't an Accountability Partner?
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Sunday November 1, 2020
Questions/Topics:
- What are your election day and night plans? Are you watching the results come in?
- The racial atmosphere in America just before this election?
- So you want to be an ExPat?
- What is it like to live in Ghana?
- A spontaneous black history lesson (Not your history book version for sure!)
Quotes:
"Racism is the only thing America has built without Black people."
Mentions:
Guest
- Podcast/Website: Bruthas-N-Law
- Youtube: PanAfricana Presents Afriscope
- Facebook: Panafricana Presented by Afriscope
url: Seychelles Beach
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Sept 12, 2020
3 mistakes to avoid in your weight loss journey
Questions/Topics:
- Please explain why you say training too much can contribute to weight-gain in women?
- What's the recommended amount of exercise?
- No one else told me to go ahead and eat the donut. Why is it ok to ease the restrictions (occasionally)?
- Eat more not less? What you talking about Willis? Why do you focus more on adding to a diet rather than subtracting from it?
- If sleep help me lose weight, can I take a nap rather than go to the gym? How does sleep help me lose weight?
Guest Quotes:
Soreness is not an indication of progress.
Sweat is not your fat crying it's your body's cooling system.
For women to blossom sexually it requires a certain amount of body fat. Nature want you to be curvy.
Your body doesn't give a $#!+ about abs.
There are no good or bad foods just good or bad habits associated around those foods.
The adult thinking brain fixates on what you restrict.
Host Quotes:
My kids said I didn't do the Whole 30 diet. They said I did the Whole Zero! - Rhumel
Guest - Ren Jones Fitness Jones
- Instagram: FitnessJonesTraining
- Podcast/Website: http://www.fitnessjonestraining.com/
- Facebook: Lean In Lean Out
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
You don't have to be a fan of HBO's Lovecraft country to understand the power in claiming who and what you want to be in your own life story. In this episode we reclaim the power of "I AM." Join us.
Recorded Sept 13, 2020
The conversation about what it means to be in a narcissistic relationship hit a nerve for us. Neither of us have personal experience but speaking with our guest, who has gone through fire and come out the other end, was informative, inspirational and emotional.
Questions:
- What are the traits of a Narcissist?
- Do they target a particular personality type when selecting romantic partners?
- What does it look like to be in a relationship with a narcissist?
- Can a narcissist be rehabilitated or is the a permanent situation?
- Do you have tips on how to get out of a relationship with a narcissist? What can friends and family do to help?
Guest notes:
Joyce M-pezeni is a certified Life and Relationship Coach. She has dedicated her life's work to elevating the lives of her clients through her signature program, "Love After Trauma." She equips them with the tools to recover and reclaim their authentic identity by helping them sort through the confusion of codependency and narcissistic abuse. She is a passionate advocate for healthy love, relationships and is pro marriage.
Guest Quotes:
"They want to be recognized as superior without doing a single thing to warrant that recognition"
"You are selected by the narcissist and groomed for this type of abuse."
"Don't think you can love this person into wholesomeness."
"Narcissists do not love. You can not pour from an empty vessel."
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: PinkGirlTeaches
- Podcast: Project Real Love
- Youtube: PinkGirlTeaches
- Twitter: Pink Girl Teaches
url: Don't Date Him Girl
url: Defining Narcissistic Abuse
url: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Sept 20 , 2020
Mercury's in retrograde...whatever that means, our business plans keep hitting a brick wall and my technology is acting up. Are these things related? How do the movement of the stars and planets affect us?
Questions/Topics:
- What is Astrology? How is it different Astronomy?
- I've heard about Mercury in Retrograde. When does it happen?
- What does that mean?
- We've only recently noticed people talking about it on social media, is this a new thing?
- Are there other planet frolicking? What do we need to understand about this time period?
- If other planets also go into retrograde then what is the big deal with Mercury?
- People often mention Mercury in Retrograde as a warning. Are all retrogrades warnings?
Guest notes:
Misty Oaks Paxton, the Spiritual Attorney™ is an Attorney by profession, but her passion is counseling her clients on Universal, Spiritual & Metaphysical laws. She is a certified Meditation & Mindfulness Coach, a Spiritual Life Coach, a speaker, writer, and an Energy Healer She is also a gifted intuitive reader who uses Tarot, Birth, Love & Destiny Cards to give her clients guidance and confirmation.
Quotes:
On managing in this time:
"Our bodies are made up of about 70% water as well as the surface of the earth. If we can recognize, as a hard science, that the celestial body of the moon has an influence on the water of the earth in the ocean then we can also correlate that the celestial bodies have an influence of our physical bodies which are mostly water."
"[Remember] The Re's: review, relax, release, rejuvenate, refill, replish. This is Nature's pause for us."
Mentions:
Guest
- Instagram: The Spiritual Attorney
- Website: The Spiritual Attorney
- Youtube:The Spiritual Attorney
- Facebook: The Spiritual Attorney
url: Mercury Retrograde: Who is she?
(2020 election edition)
Please support our podcast:
- Please rate/review, subscribe and share!!
- Cashapp: $GirrrlPodcast
- Donate: Patreon
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Recorded Sept 26, 2020
We're back! After a month of releasing our oldies but goodies, we kickoff season 2 with new content and a new attitude. Oh and I do mean attitude!! While listening to a podcast Rhumel heard a guy say that women's intuition either isn't real or women suck at it. We had A LOT to say about that.
Topics
-
How to support the podcast.
-
What we did during our "workcation"
-
Is women's' intuition real?
Spoiler alert!!!! Yes it is quite real. Everyone has access to intuition. We recommend that you use it.
Don't forget to rate/review and subscribe!!
Support our podcast. CashApp $GirrrlPodcast orPatreon https://www.patreon.com/girrrlpodcast
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Don't forget to rate/review and subscribe!!
Support our podcast. CashApp $GirrrlPodcast orPatreon https://www.patreon.com/girrrlpodcast
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Does 2020 have you needing a laugh. Join Twanda and Rhumel for our Unpopular Opinions Episode. We cut up while telling you exactly how we feel about just about everything. We had so much fun with this one.
When you are in a relationship, do you tell you partner everything? Are you giving over your pass codes for your phone? Touching base on money expenditures? Or, can you talk to your spouse about your attraction to other people? Is 100% transparency in a relationship a thing? We talk about it. Come join us.
Do you struggle with managing stress? Sis we got you! In this episode Hosts, Rhumel and Twanda interview meditation guru, Althea Lawton-Thompson. You’ll learn what meditation is, why it’s an effective tool for combating stress and how to get started. We learned a lot in this episode. We believe you will too. Lean in. This is good stuff.
Don't forget to rate/review and subscribe!!
Have a question or topic you want us to talk about? We want to hear from you!!
- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
- Instagram: @girrrlpodcast
- Facebook: @girrrlpodcast
- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Althea Lawton-Thompson
Spiritual Healing Guide
A former corporate executive, Althea left the boardroom for a career in wellness twenty- three years ago. As a certified fitness professional, she was the on-air wellness reporter for WBAL Channel 11 News in Baltimore, the creator of the youth obesity program for Johns Hopkins Hospital’s pediatric department, the creator of the post-natal wellness program for Sinai Hospital, and the coordinator of the Healthy Living program for 13 Kaiser Permanente centers in Atlanta. Having trained extensively in spiritual and natural healing, Althea is a Reiki Master, a NOLS-certified outdoor leader, and a seasoned Yoga instructor and meditation guide. She has led 15 wellness retreats to Bali, Costa Rica, South Africa, Puerto Rico, Turks & Caicos, Dominican Republic, Bahamas, Grand Canyon, and the Georgia mountains.
Her corporate wellness company - Aerobics, Yoga & MoreTM - provides certified and insured instructors in yoga, meditation, Pilates, and fitness to companies, schools, and government agencies in the Atlanta metro area.
Althea has been highlighted in magazines including Mantra Yoga + Health, Essence, Upscale, Oxygen, and Best Body and was voted one of “Atlanta’s Best Yoga Instructors” by Best Self magazine. Her album, Guided Meditations with Althea, ranked #1 and #3 on two of Amazon’s bestsellers list for New Age music. She’s the producer of the AltheatizedTM fitness video series and the author of the bestselling novel, Losing Control, and the entrepreneur how-to book, Twenty. Althea has been married for twenty-three years and is the proud mother of two sons.
Website: AltheaLawtonThompson.com
Instagram: @althealawtonthompson
Facebook Group: Althea’s Retreats
Facebook Page: Facebook.com/AltheaLawtonThompson
YouTube: Living Life Limitlessly with Althea
Have you ever had a dream so real, it just had to be true? Shellee Mendes had one of those dreams. She woke up one day with a clear vision of what she wanted, but no clear way to get it. At one point Shellee was homeless with two young kids. But she pushed through the obstacles to become one of the most sought after hair stylists in Boston, MA. Shellee tells us about her journey. And if you have ever had a dream so real you can feel it, you will want to hear how Shellee Mendes became the ultimate success story.
Question: GIrrrl... Why don't women talk more about our orgasms?
Answer: Most women are socialized not to talk about our sexual pleasure.
Sundi (Guest): We absolutely should be talking more about orgasms and we should be talking to our daughters about it too. We should also acknowledge and then deconstruct the "The Good Girl Syndrome" which teaches us to make partner happy in the bedroom without regard to self.
Q) How can women learn how to break out of the good girl syndrome and get to where they can more freely achieve sexual pleasure?
A) Three steps to achieving sexual pleasure:
- Know yourself - Where are you now (be honest). Discard the BS you've been taught.
- Love yourself - Women tend to have trouble with this, esp. wives and moms. "You can't give people the best of you if you are not the best of you. If you are not loving yourself in the way you need to be loved then you are not at your best.
- Free yourself - Create a pleasure menu. Include toys, different positions, body exploration. Advice: Touch Everything
Q) What keeps us from "getting there"?
A) What we are thinking in the major obstacle. How we have been socialized and what we have been taught. Stay in the moment. Practice mindful sex with the "Five Senses Orgasm". Focus on the sensations not what's on your to do list. Enjoy the ride!
Q) How do you know if you've had an orgasm?
A) The tell tell signs of an orgasm are the muscle contractions. There is a build up and an explosion.
Q) Are they all earth-shattering or are there muli-levels?
A)There are many different ways to reach orgasms. It's common for those different methods to produce orgasms that feel different. There are absolutely different levels of intensity.
Q) How do you engage your husband/partner in this "touch everything" exploration adventure?
A) Communicate! With sincerity, invite your partner to this learning process of touching more, trying new things having more fun. If you have any problems saying this to your person, you still have self work to do to grow your comfort with this to
Q) When do you need to see a doctor about your lack of orgasms.
A)Usually, it's not a physical doctor that's needed but more often a therapist. To address the mental blocks that affects women Sundi's group focuses on whether you are having pleasure. She suggests you get get naked and say nice things about your body. Her group does selfie affirmations and boudoir photo shoots,
Q) What positions help women have orgasms?
A) Those that facilitate clitoral or g-spot stimulation. Toys and props can be used to enhance your favorite positions.
Notable Quote: Never let anything come in-between you and your orgasms!
Referenced Episode: I'm not your Superwoman
Links
Sundi's womens' group: freeyourpleasure.com
https://www.bustle.com/wellness/what-does-orgasm-feel-for-woman
https://www.bustle.com/life/types-orgasms-women-experience-national-orgasm-day
https://www.bustle.com/p/12-techniques-women-use-to-have-orgasm-according-to-omgyes-6803697
https://www.bustle.com/wellness/108128-why-cant-i-come-6-reasons-your-orgasm-can-get-blocked-what-to-do-about
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Summary:
Naturally, as moms, we want to make sure we form and maintain strong relationships with our children. We each asked our kids for suggestions for accomplishing this goal. That little exercise generated some great advice that we believe would apply to any parental relationship. Tune in, we'd love to share what we learned.
Girlfriend question:
Do you think your kids comfortable talking and sharing with you?
Disclaimer: We are not experts by any stretch of the imaginations.The tips below did not come from a licensed professional but from the trial and error of our real experiences as moms.
Tip 1: Learn the preferences of each child then approach conversations with each appropriately. For best results, make time to speak to them individually.
Example: Run an errand having just one kid along for the ride.
Tip 2: Now with "The Corona" our old routines are out the window and we can go a full day without seeing our kids while stuck in the same house. Be intentional about making time to talk with the kids.
Example: Read a book together and discuss it.
Tip 3: Be a good listener.
- Be mindful of your reactions as the kids are speaking with you. Big emotional outbursts could discourage open conversations.
- Try not to interrupt while they are speaking.
- Give your full attention. Avoid distractions during your conversations.
- Focus on listening, don't assume they want you to fix it.
Tip 4: (What works for us is) We are the parent not the friend of our kids and that's ok.
Tip 5: You don't have to agree. Provide a safe space for your kids to share their opinions.
Tip 6: Practice good communication skills within the parental relationship because the kids are watching. If we don't communicate well with each other as parents, they will (1) begin to model our bad skills (2) feel hesitant to engage with us.
Tip 7: Group conversations are important too. Use meal times and TV show dramas to spark family chatter.
Tip 8: Keep offering the kids opportunities for conversations with you. Don't be discouraged all those times they don't have anything to say. Keep making space for it. When something comes up, they will feel more comfortable sharing knowing that you are consistently interested in them.
Related girrrlpodcast episodes (underlined links provided):
Red Flags: Communication skills for talking with your teens and young adults about domestic violence
Love Languages: The importance of speaking to your spouse using their unique love language.
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- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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- Email us: Talk2Us@girrrlpodcast.com
Stuff we referred to in this episode:
Alicia Keys - Superwoman - YouTubeKaryn White - I'm Not Your Superwoman - 1988 - YouTubeIf The Dress Fits, Wear it #1 (Phylisha Rashad and Debbie Allen on The Cosby Show"Peggy Lee I'm A Woman" (Original Song + Lyrics)Don't forget to rate/review and subscribe!!
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- Twitter: @girrrlpodcast
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It's the usual season for school re-opening but nothing is as usual this year. As such, we parents have the harrowing responsibility of deciding whether or not to send our children back to school. All over the country, parents and their students are toiling over what happens next for our kids. Whether it is day care or college, there are no easy decisions in our households. Rhumel has one college kid going to live on campus and another taking classes from home. Twanda has one college kid taking all online classes while living in an apartment and one college kid who is taking a gap year at home in hopes of a regular experience next Fall. Our grade schools are offering online classes for the first several weeks with the intent of having in-person attendance thereafter.
Despite the unknowns of these unprecedented times, your hosts channel their nervous yet hopeful energy into a lively conversation with a fair share of laughter, as always. Join us for the discussion.
Videos
- Kirk Franklin celebrating sending his kids back to school on IG
- Rhumel celebrating her daughter graduation from high school
Links
- Young kids could spread COVID-19 as much as older children and adults, study suggests
- How is COVID-19 affecting college students? (with Tips)
- PDF Poster: BACK-TO-COLLEGE TIPS Protect Yourself From COVID-19
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In linguistics, code switching is the practice of alternating between two or more languages or varieties of language in conversation. However, for African-American's (and other minority populations) code switching is more of a survival technique. Rather than switching languages, its more like a switch of personas. Let me explain, the words we choose, the content we select, as well as the intonation, articulation, and sometimes the pitch, tone, and resonance of our voices are modulated to match the environment rather than to reflect our true selves. Ok, that may be too extreme, but I'm not far from the truth. See for yourselves as Rhumel and Twanda discuss how code switching has impacted their lives.
What is code-switching? | Between the Lines (examples include situations with Trayvon Martin and Sandra Bland)
Key & Peele: Obama Meet & Greet (humerous example)
TedTalk: The cost of code switching
TedTalk: To code switch or not to code switching. That is the question.
https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2019/12/17/culture-code-switching
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We know it takes a village to raise a child. But who is in your own personal village? Better yet, who is in your tribe? Dr. El Brown, from the Straight Talk Podcast with Dr. El, tells us the difference between a tribe and village, and who we should allow in them. It's a fun and informative episode. Join us.
Dr. El’s Bio
Dr. El Brown is the Founder of KinderJam and host of the podcast Straight Talk with Dr. El. She is also a faculty member in the Early Childhood Education Master of Arts in Teaching Program in the American University, School of Education, in Washington DC. Dr. El began her career as an Early Childhood educator in Atlanta Public Schools (APS). After which, she relocated to Asia and taught 2nd grade in Japan and South Korea with the Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA). Upon her return to the United States, Dr. El founded KinderJam, which grew to serve Military and State Department Families in 11 countries and 16 states. The program was founded in response to Dr. El’s experience as a mother parenting a young child with disabilities and its purpose was to promote Early Intervention and Family Engagement in military communities. To further develop KinderJam and ensure the professional integrity of the program, she earned an M.S. in Early Childhood Education. Later, Dr. El earned her Ph.D. in Early Childhood Education/Early Childhood Special Education with a secondary emphasis on Educational Psychology from George Mason University in Fairfax, VA. Dr. El's current research focuses on reconceptualizing what it means to support families of young children with disabilities within the military community. Presently, Dr. El operates a preschool for Fairfax County and provides training in the areas of Family Engagement, Family Support, and Cultural Competence to service providers, who work and interact with young children and their families. Dr. El has authored two books and created music and curriculum for young children. But above all, she is the proud mother of a 13-year-old son on the autism spectrum, affectionately known as SuperDuperYoungMan (SDYM).
Articles about tribe/friendship
https://www.meridian-counseling.com/blog/2018/6/21/friendship-finding-your-tribe
https://aleteia.org/2017/03/14/the-8-types-of-women-you-absolutely-need-in-your-friend-tribe/
https://www.heruniqueglow.com/blog/the-value-of-your-tribe-how-to-find-one
https://www.wellandgood.com/types-of-friendships/
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Disclaimer: THIS EPISODE INCLUDES SPOILERS (but this description doesn't)
It's time to spill the tea on the final episode of this season's HBO series, Insecure. Yes, we pick apart all the events in this last show but we boil it down to one question. Girrrl, Can I ask you something? What would you do if you were Issa?
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Our parents are back!!! No matter if you are single, newlywed, or long-time married, our folks are back to share their 50 years of marriage experience. They were transparent about therapy, raising kids, arguments, losing identity, and more. This is an absolute must-listen.
Marriage resources:
Marriage Works! Articles and Merchandise
5 Love Languages for better communication in marriage
The Gottman Institute - Conflicts in Marriage: The Four Horsemen
Marriage Today Articles and Videos
Dr. Simone Whitmore, from Bravo's Married to Medicine, has real talk with us about how we should communicate with our doctors. Dr. Simone is a "lady doctor", specializing in Obstetrics and Gynecology. These are the healthcare appointments I like the least and I know I'm not the only one! During this episode, Dr. Simone shares with us her special appointment style that includes laughing (yeah I said laughing), catching up on work and family lives, then tying all that in with the health care visit. Truth, if my appointments were more like the ones she conducts, I'd be more apt to relax, share, and ask more questions. If I wasn't so eager to leave the appointment, I could give a better account of my medical situation and concerns. Whose responsibility is it to look after my health? Mine. Ok, the doctor should be invested as well, but it's really up to you and I to ask the right questions. In this episode, we discuss what questions we should be asking. I realize now that it's better for my health to to find the kind of doctor who helps make appointments more palatable. Tune in Sis. This episode is informative, fun (as always), and important.
North Perimeter OBGYN
Bravo TV cast page
Can we talk about Issa and Molly (of the HBO series insecure) for a minute? Spoiler alert: this episode will discuss the friendship between Molly and Issa through this season’s finale. (You have been warned.) These ladies' friendship has had its ups and downs and many of us can relate to the experience. In this week's episode, we not only explore the TV show drama but we reflect on our own life experience with friendships that were lost, changed, strained, or strengthened over time. It’s time for tea ladies.
Video:
ISSA RAE AND YVONNE ORJI FROM INSECURE, TALK ALL THINGS MOLLY AND ISSA
Articles:
A Breakdown of the Breakdown of Molly and Issa’s Insecure Friendship
Issa vs. Molly: Who Was Right in the 'Insecure' Season 4 Feud
The “Year of Return, Ghana 2019” is a major landmark spiritual and birth-right journey inviting the Global African family, home and abroad, to mark 400 years of the arrival of the first enslaved Africans in Jamestown, Virginia.
In this episode our guests, Krystal Barnes & Robert Ansah recount their personal experiences in Ghana, specifically during the Year of Return.
A host of activities are scheduled to highlight music, fashion and food.
See Afrochella Experience or Afro Nation Ghana 2019
Cape Coast Castle - Large commercial fort known for its role in the trans-Atlantic slave trade.
Door of no return - Located in the dungeons of a castle along the coast of Ghana is the door of no returns where Africans were forced through the door of no return and board slave ships.
How to Take Action
- Register to vote
- Vote411.org
- Check in on your black friends, family, partners, and colleagues
- Educate yourself and read up on what it means to be anti-racist
- Screenshot, share, and re-post resources to educate those around you
- Don't center the narrative around you. Identify privilege and condemn it
- Stop supporting organizations that promote hate
- Be an ally and advocate after the outrage ends
- Continue to donate to fund and support initiatives you care about if you have the means
- Need more ideas? Color Of Change helps you do something about injustice
See the political affiliations of thousands of brands and companies! Goods Unite Us
Let down your guard and listen: Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man Pt: 1
38 Black Owned Banks and Credit Unions: Putting Your Money Where It Counts
The E Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Business Don't Work and What to Do About It - Michael E. Gerber
Organizations to follow on social media:
- Antiracism Center: Twitter
- Audre Lorde Project: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Black Women’s Blueprint: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Color Of Change: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Colorlines: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- The Conscious Kid: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Equal Justice Initiative (EJI): Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Families Belong Together: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- The Leadership Conference on Civil & Human Rights: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- MPowerChange: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Muslim Girl: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- NAACP: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- National Domestic Workers Alliance: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- RAICES: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ): Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- SisterSong: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
- United We Dream: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
More anti-racism resources to check out:
- 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice
- Anti-Racism Project
- Jenna Arnold’s resources (books and people to follow)
- Rachel Ricketts’ anti-racism resources
- Resources for White People to Learn and Talk About Race and Racism
- Save the Tears: White Woman’s Guide by Tatiana Mac
- Showing Up For Racial Justice’s educational toolkits
- The [White] Shift on Instagram
- “Why is this happening?” — an introduction to police brutality from 100 Year Hoodie
- Zinn Education Project’s teaching materials
We are NOT Ok. George Floyd was murdered in the street in front of our collective eyes. Protests, riots, and the uncertainty of justice have us feeling all of the emotions. This episode we talk about how we are coping and how we are helping our families through these turbulent times. We are not OK.
A lot of us believe we can tell if our kids are going through something with their friends. We think we know them enough to decipher whether their boy/girlfriend is mistreating them. However, studies show that we parents don’t know the warning signs and are therefore likely to miss the red flags. In this episode, I realized that I wasn’t asking the right questions and I didn’t really know what to listen for. Let’s NOT miss the red flags where our children and their friends are concerned. Listen in as Niccolo Ritditti from the Durham Crisis Response Center provides us with the tools to we didn’t know we needed.
Whether you are single, newly married or married for 20 plus years like us, you can learn so much from our parents. They each have been married for more than 50 years. Their love and devotion to each other is adorable and the advice they give is immeasurably wise. This is an amazing episode. Grab your headphones.
Everyone wants to take a peek into the thoughts and rants in someone's diary. In this episode, we give you permission to hear our pandemic diaries. It's all of what we miss and what we are grateful for in spite of our current environment. You'll have fun, come on by.
Disclaimer: Despite what it sounds like, Rhumel was not drunk during this recording. Due to a technical issue, the audio from her side had a notable drag causing distortion. That's our story and we are sticking to it. lol
Now that salons are closed, are you doing the right thing for your hair? I'll admit it, I'm not. Personally, I'm frustrated with my hair and have been eyeing the scissors on my desk. Conditioning? Oh yeah, I should really do that huh? You may not be as bad off as I am, but you have probably experienced some concern about how to best maintain your mane during this pandemic. This episode is for you.
Stylist Marlena Johnson is here to help! Marlena joins us to outline simple dos and don'ts to empower us to take better care of our hair until that beautiful day when we can be reunited with our own hairstylist. Pull up a chair and learn with us.
You have opinions... I bet all of your opinions are not popular with the masses. In Episode 32 you will laugh right along with us. We kick back, relaxed and unbothered, and tell you our UNPOPULAR OPINIONS.
Tameka Fryer Brown
Children’s Book Author
MY COLD PLUM LEMON PIE BLUESY MOOD
Illustrated by Shane W. Evans
Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House
ISBN-10: 0670012858 / ISBN-13: 978-0670012855
AROUND OUR WAY ON NEIGHBORS’ DAY
Illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb
Abrams Books for Young Readers
ISBN-13: 978-0-8109-8971-9
BROWN BABY LULLABY
Illustrated by AG Ford
FSG/Macmillan
ISBN-10: 0374307520 / ISBN-13: 978-0374307523
Tameka Fryer Brown (a native of Miami, Florida) has called Charlotte, North Carolina home for over 20 years. Brown’s first literary accomplishment as a children’s book writer came when she was awarded one of two First Prizes in the 2008 Cheerios® Spoonfuls of Stories® New Author Contest. Her debut picture book, Around Our Way on Neighbors’ Day, was published by Abrams Books for Young Readers and illustrated by Charlotte Riley-Webb. To date, it has sold over 100,000 copies, a great number having been purchased by New York’s Board of Education.
My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood is Brown’s second picture book. It is published by Viking Children’s/Penguin Random House and illustrated by the award-winning Shane W. Evans. Its awards and accolades include a Charlotte Zolotow Honor Award for excellence in picture book text, and designations as a Bank Street College Best Book, a CCBC Choices Best Book, and one of NYPL’s 100 Titles for Reading and Sharing. Her work is also featured in the much heralded We Rise, We Resist, We Raise Our Voices, published by Crown Books for Young Readers in partnership with Just Us Books.
In January of 2020, Brown’s third book, Brown Baby Lullaby was published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux/Macmillan. In the story, Momma and Papi struggle to get through the evening's routine with their high-energy toddler—but they wouldn’t have their sweet, brown baby any other way. Twelve Dinging Doorbells, Brown’s fourth book and a celebration of Black family gatherings, will be published by Kokila/PRH in 2022. For more information, visit tamekafryerbrown.com .
“What you doing?”, has to be the most common opener for our texts these days! With the majority of the country under a stay-at-home order, finding ways to stay entertained is first on everybody’s agenda. In this episode, we talk about all the ways we’ve been keeping ourselves busy and entertained during the Covid-19 pandemic including: Exercise (haha) TV Online purchases Arts & Crafts (cooking included) Family time Staying connected to our peeps Work
Black is Black right? Wrong! The amount of melanin in our skin has affected (and still affects) how people see and treat us. For some, ones' complexion affects how they see and treat themselves. We all have a story. Rhumel didn't know she was 'light-skinned" till she got to college. Twanda didn't feel she could be "fine" without light skin and "good" hair. If this concept is foreign to you, tune in, this episode will be informative. For those who have been challenged with ramifications or benefits due to your skin color, we get you. Let's talk about it. Pull up a chair.
Now that we are doing this whole quarantine/social distancing thing, it leaves us time to ponder things we might not give the same time to in different circumstances. For example, have you ever wondered if Love is Blind? Yeah, yeah I know it's a TV show, but it's also one of those questions that deserve some exploration don't you think? Let's get real specific: Can you have romantic love with someone you are not physically attracted to? Spoiler alert! Ya'll know love ain't blind! Haha, I speak for myself though. You'll have to listen to this episode to get both of our views. We will also talk about the cast of characters from the TV show because that deserves some conversation as well. If you really don't want to know how the show ends just yet, get your binge on then come back and hit play on this episode.
Parenting isn't easy. You raise them for 18 years, and they become adults. Does your kid's 18th birthday mean that your young adult is ready to face the world by themselves? Does your parenting role end at 18? Most likely not. Often it's a fine line between being a loving supportive guide, and a straight helicopter parent. In this week's episode, we talk about the constant challenges that come with parenting a young adult.
In this week's episode, we go back down memory lane and discuss some of the favorite parts of our collective childhood. Back when we were growing up, things just didn't seem as complicated; we had fun, danced and played. We didn't have cell phones. We had a kitchen phone with a stretched out 25' cord. We had skating rinks and basement parties. So much fun.
Shellee Mendes
Bio – December 2019
“Follow your dreams. There is nothing you can’t achieve if you dream big and work hard!”
That is the advice Shellee Mendes imparts to young people and entrepreneurs in her speaking engagements and philanthropic appearances … and those are the words she lives by.
Her inspirational approach to work and life – combined with outstanding entrepreneurial success - may be the reasons Shellee was asked to serve as a Director on the Boston Arts Academy Foundation Board. And why the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce honored her with the GBCOC Small Business “Main Street” Award.
Top honors before audience of 14,000 at 2019 MA Conference for Women
In 2019, Shellee was chosen for the coveted TARGET STORYTELLER AWARD at Massachusetts Conference for Women, with 14,000 attendees cheering her on! She received the award for her tireless work giving back to her community and lifting women up through her example and initiatives.
Shellee also ran a conference round table on “Race, Hair & Working Women,” focusing on the challenges women of color face in regard to their hair and careers and in their everyday working environment. The sold-out program looked at questions Shellee says are raised every day in her salons: “Will I be judged for embracing my natural, ethnic hair texture and style? Is my hair keeping me from moving up the corporate ladder? Should I straighten my hair for that big interview?”
Entrepreneur, businesswoman, philanthropist, role model
As the founder/owner/stylist at Salon Monet on Newbury Street, Shellee serves a diverse, multicultural clientele. In December 2017, she opened her second Newbury Street salon with a celebration attended by Mayor Walsh, Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley and other VIPs.
An inspirational speaker and active philanthropist, Shellee always finds time to support the many causes in which she believes. Her charitable giving includes donations, fundraisers and voluntary assistance to a host of organizations that help children, women and families. Shellee never stops! She is the recipient of multiple awards and honors, serves a host of celebrity clients, and last year was spotted chatting with Oprah on the Holland America Alaska Cruise!
Shellee grew up in housing developments in Roslindale and Dorchester. As a single parent, she and her two small children lived in a Quincy shelter while she worked full-time and put herself through cosmetology school. Now she gives a hand up to those who are struggling. Read her inspirational story and check out recent achievements in the links below.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/business/2014/10/31/woman-makes-leap-ifrom-projects-newbury/X8NHL3VWtJ1gX52R4PVUPM/story.html
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/names/2018/06/24/salon-owner-mendes-receives-chamber-small-business-award/Nk5ExQ3X32VXLyj9kgHvWO/story.html
http://www.bostonherald.com/entertainment/inside_track/2017/12/sidetrack_marty_walsh_ayanna_pressley_and_more
Someone: How would you describe yourself? Me: I'm a mom, wife, daughter, pet owner, employee, member, and volunteer. Someone: Yeah, but who are you as a person? Me: crickets In reality, neither of us is quite in this place at the moment, but it was just a short time ago when we had to strain our brains to remember what we used to do for fun, recreation, & relaxation. We had that awkward moment silently wondering... Where did I go? In the hustle and bustle of life, we all, at times, forget who we are down deep as an individual. I imagine some heads are nodding in agreement right now. Let’s keep that flow going. Click play and join us in this conversation.
When I hear “transparency in marriage” the following quote from the movie Why Did I Get Married comes to mind, “Give me the password number to your cell phone, Marcus!” Lol! Transparency in marriage is more than sharing your phone’s password or your location on find friends. It’s sharing your thoughts, hopes, fears, frustrations, temptations, and transgressions. Is it #RelationshipGoals or nah? Grab your wine glass and join our conversation.
Girrrl.... Did you see 50-year-old JLo on that pole during the Super Bowl halftime show? She's got skills. Do you have any idea how much strength those moves required? We do. We tried it (emphasis on tried). We took our curiosity to the classroom so-to-speak and attended a beginner pole fitness class to get an up-front and personal experience on this topic. Yup, Twanda and Rhumel on the pole. LOL! It was fun, challenging, enlightening, and at times surprising... we're supposed to do what in those high heels? ROFL. Seriously though, we were literally rolling on the floor. Listen in so we can tell you all about it.
Take the Love Languages Quiz -
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
Gift Giving Ideas
https://stepmomming.com/love-language-gifts/
https://www.bustle.com/p/7-gift-ideas-if-your-partners-love-language-is-quality-time-3220729
https://www.ftd.com/blog/celebrate/love-language-ideas
Over the holiday break, we brought our oldest daughters (both college students) to the table for an insightful discussion about our mother/daughter connection. We bravely asked our girls: How are you like your mom? What's the best and the worst trait she passed on to you? What is it about you that she doesn't seem to get? They bravely shared their truth. This experience was fun and enlightening, leading us to the realization that we don't have these types of conversations enough. Listen in.
Girrrl...What do you know about pole dancing? In this episode, we dig into the topic and uncover everything you ever wanted to know about pole dancing but was afraid to ask. OK, ok, maybe not everything...but we learned A LOT! Our friend Tanisha Davis, has been pole dancing for fun and fitness for years. She joined us at the table and spilled the tea! We can't wait to share what we found out! Grab your teacup (and your pearls) and join the conversation.
BOOOOOKCLUUUUB! We are super excited to present to you our first bookclub episode. In this sitting, you will meet our ride-or-die members, Monette Harris and Tanisha Davis. Not only do we meet monthly to discuss our book selection, we mommy-retreat with these ladies as well. The sisterhood here is deep. Over the next 30 minutes or so we will kick back and discuss how we created and structured the club, how we pick and track our books, our favorite genres, and our favorite titles. Click play now. Really.
Our first guest for the Follow Your Dreams series said, “ I am literally following every dream that comes into my head everyday. “ Every dream? Every day? Mad props to this sister whose tag line is (not surprisingly), “ Living life limitlessly”! Mrs. Althea Lawton-Thompson had us leaning in and mesmerized by her commitment to saying “yes” to all good (and scary) opportunities life brings her. Althea’s story is fascinating and her spirit is infectious (in a good way). Get comfortable and press play. Welcome to the conversation.
Diatta Harris is a lover of all things fitness. By day she is a Program Manager for an asset management firm and in the wee hours of the morning and late hours of the evening she is a NASM certified personal trainer and fitness coach working with in-person and virtual clients worldwide residing as far away as Malawi and United Arab Emirates.
Her service offerings include 1:1 in-person training, a wildly popular 30-day Cinch An Inch monthly fitness challenge, a 12-week fitness program for beginners and intermediate fitness levels and 8-week immersive coaching which is changing lives for the better 1 person at a time.
The objective for all of these programs is to help people live their fullest and most active lives possible.
She was invited and attended First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign event to learn about the various programs the White House was promoting across the country. She has also been featured on Fox45 WBFF Baltimore Morning News with anchor Patrice Harris Sanders (no relation).
She has held several free workshops in the Baltimore metropolitan area teaching rising preteens to teenagers the benefits of good nutrition and exercise as well as volunteering as a presenter at local career fairs speaking on careers in the health and fitness industry.
When she’s not writing on her health and fitness blog Femme Fitale Fit Club (https://femmefitalefitclub.com), she enjoys quiet weekends home with her husband and 2 children.
How to lose weight over 40: https://femmefitalefitclub.com/2018/12/healthy-weight-loss-tips-for-women-over-40/
How to beat hormonal belly: https://femmefitalefitclub.com/2019/09/what-is-hormonal-belly-fat-and-how-to-fix-it/
How to break through plateaus: https://femmefitalefitclub.com/2014/10/4-tips-to-break-through-workout-plateaus/
How to start losing weight if you weigh 200 pounds or more + low-impact workout: https://femmefitalefitclub.com/2019/01/7-proven-weight-loss-tips-for-black-women-who-weigh-200-pounds-or-more/
Link to my 12-week No Fluff Fitness Program which is perfect for those just getting off the couch, beginner or intermediate fitness levels: https://bit.ly/12weekfitnessprogram
Rhumel and Twanda are taking December off. However, we have developed mini episodes that will let you know about all the great episodes that are coming in the New Year. In our fourth mini episode we introduce our upcoming pole dancing conversation with our guest and fellow bookclub member, Tanisha Davis. Y’all there was so much we didn’t know and we (literally) can‘t wait to tell you about it. Take a few minutes to hang out with us as we set the stage for this intriguing episode.
girrrlPodcast #miniEpisode #PodcastLife
podcast #wocPodcast #PoleDancing #girlFriends
Rhumel and Twanda are taking December off. However, we have developed mini episodes that will let you know about all the great episodes that are coming in the New Year. In MINI EPISODE #3 - we re-introduce Althea Lawton-Thompson. We give you a taste of what advice, "Serial Entrepreneur", Althea has to offer. Get ready to follow your dreams in 2020. Get ready to Think about things differently.
Rhumel and Twanda are taking December off. However, we have developed mini episodes that will let you know about all the great episodes that are coming in the New Year. Our second mini episode introduces you to our book club and our book club members. The episode is short, sweet and lots of fun.
Rhumel and Twanda are taking December off. However, we have developed mini episodes that will let you know about all the great episodes that are coming in the new year. In this episode, we introduce our first guest for the year, and give practical tips to escape the holidays without putting on extra pounds. Its short, but its full of information!!
Wedding Bands: Required or Optional? While wedding bands come in a variety of styles (silver, gold, platinum, silicon, and even ink) some married people choose to sport a naked ring finger. In this episode, hosts Rhumel and Twanda contemplate the question: Should wedding bands be optional? Listen in as they dish out their opinions on the topic.
Do you ever wish you could travel back in time and whisper a little knowledge to your 20 year old self? All those little nuggets that would have helped you make better decisions, or just have a lot more fun? Yea, we do too. Have a little laugh with us as we discover those things we could have done better, and list of all the things we are going to tell our own daughters.
WhatIWishiKnew
timeMachine
millennialsBettaListen
tellYourDaughters
NotEverythingisSerious
followYourIntuition
Althea Lawton-Thompson
Spiritual Healing Guide
A former corporate executive, Althea left the boardroom for a career in wellness twenty- three years ago. As a certified fitness professional, she was the on-air wellness reporter for WBAL Channel 11 News in Baltimore, the creator of the youth obesity program for Johns Hopkins Hospital’s pediatric department, the creator of the post-natal wellness program for Sinai Hospital, and the coordinator of the Healthy Living program for 13 Kaiser Permanente centers in Atlanta. Having trained extensively in spiritual and natural healing, Althea is a Reiki Master, a NOLS-certified outdoor leader, and a seasoned Yoga instructor and meditation guide. She has led 15 wellness retreats to Bali, Costa Rica, South Africa, Puerto Rico, Turks & Caicos, Dominican Republic, Bahamas, Grand Canyon, and the Georgia mountains.
Her corporate wellness company - Aerobics, Yoga & MoreTM - provides certified and insured instructors in yoga, meditation, Pilates, and fitness to companies, schools, and government agencies in the Atlanta metro area.
Althea has been highlighted in magazines including Mantra Yoga + Health, Essence, Upscale, Oxygen, and Best Body and was voted one of “Atlanta’s Best Yoga Instructors” by Best Self magazine. Her album, Guided Meditations with Althea, ranked #1 and #3 on two of Amazon’s bestsellers list for New Age music. She’s the producer of the AltheatizedTM fitness video series and the author of the bestselling novel, Losing Control, and the entrepreneur how-to book, Twenty. Althea has been married for twenty-three years and is the proud mother of two sons.
Website: AltheaLawtonThompson.com
Instagram: @althealawtonthompson
Facebook Group: Althea’s Retreats
Facebook Page: Facebook.com/AltheaLawtonThompson
YouTube: Living Life Limitlessly with Althea
Disclaimer: This was the very first episode we recorded. The content is legit but the audio is a bit rough around the edges. Please bear with us. In this episode, hosts Rhumel and Twanda share their wise-wife tips, aka marriage hacks. Listen in.
Pilgrimage to the motherland...complete a marathon...parachute out of a plane...we all have a thing (or a list of things) we want to do in this lifetime. Hosts, Rhumel and Twanda, explore their own to-do lists on this side of 40. Listen in on the conversation. Oh, and sis, whats on your bucket list?
Hosts Rhumel and Twanda introduce the Follow Your Dreams Series while exploring the evolution of their personal life goals and dreams. It's time to get inspired to dream again.
BeInspired
FollowYourDreams
GirrrlPodcast
ItsTimeToDreamAgain
What do you wish you knew before you got married? In this episode hosts, Rhumel and Twanda, reflect on what they wished they'd known before and what they've learned during their respective 20 + year marriages. Tune In.
girrrlpodcast
marriage
wisewives
StuffTheyDontTeachYouInSchool
Rhumel Anderson and Twanda Baker are long time friends who have been married to their respective husbands for over 20 years, have teenage and young adult kids, careers, and so many questions about everything. When they realized their often-used-phrase "Girrrl... Can I Ask You Something?" sparked hours of fun conversations, they decided to share these discussions with others in the form of a laughter-rich podcast. In each episode, the "Girrrl...Can I Ask You Something?" podcast showcases sisterhood, celebrates accomplishments, shares challenges, and encourages their dreams.
Allow us to introduce ourselves. Rhumel and Twanda share the quirky way they met and how they came up with the idea to create a podcast.
Twanda and Rhumel discuss the importance of making time for yourself to recharge your batteries. Learn some of the Do's and Don'ts of planning your next getaway based on our experience.