Resilience – Bulletproof Musician: Recent Episodes
None
Whether it’s auditioning for orchestra jobs, securing a residency for your string quartet, or building up your teaching studio, have you ever had one of those moments where you begin to question whether things are ever going to work out?Source
Parents, teachers, coaches in every sports movie you’ve ever watched, and strangers on the internet often emphasize how important it is that we believe in ourselves. For instance, here’s a popular quote that I’m sure you’ve stumbled across on the internet: “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” -Henry […]Source
When you think of classical music, what instruments come to mind? An orchestral instrument of some kind, like strings, woodwinds, brass, or percussion? Maybe piano? Voice? Or guitar?Would accordion make your list?Source
Years ago, I read a book where the author described a study that made a compelling case for writing down your goals.The study was said to have taken place in 1979, where members of Harvard’s graduating MBA class were asked whether they had a) set any specific goals, b) written those goals down, and c) come up with plans to accomplish them.Source
In this month’s conversation, I’m joined by Jason Shafer, who is principal clarinetist of the Colorado Symphony and on the faculty of the University of Northern Colorado and the International Festival-Institute at Round Top. Jason is also nearing completion of a master’s degree in performance psychology, and so we explore the many ways in which his performance psychology studies have influenced his approach to practicing, performing, and teaching.Source
The research suggests that this is indeed good advice, and we’ve looked at studies before which illustrate some of the benefits (like here).Whether you’re feeling your anxiety spiral backstage before a performance, or you’re dealing with crazy holiday traffic and airport delays, or stressing about whether the turkey is going to be fully cooked and ready before the guests arrive while balancing multiple dishes with different temperature requirements and limited oven space, you know how people like to remind you to breathe when you’re stressed out?But there are so many different ways to breathe!Source
You probably spend a lot of time thinking about how to practice and learn more effectively.You probably also spend a lot of time thinking about how to perform more optimally, and what you have to do in that moment to play your best.But as performance science researcher Aaron Williamon noted in his podcast episode a few months ago, there’s a third element that’s helpful to include in the practice-performance equation.And that’s what we ought to do after a performance - i.e. the post-performance review.Source
My parents would sometimes take me on drives in the countryside, with the intention of getting lost and finding their way back home. It always worked out fine with my dad at the wheel, but it seems that I did not inherit his good sense of direction, and given a choice, will tend to take the exit or fork in the road that takes me further away from home.Source
Whether it’s sight-reading under pressure, nailing that big shift in an audition, or making an impossible shot to get all your classmates an A on an organic chemistry quiz, we all know from experience that performing up to our full abilities is infinitely more challenging when we feel like there’s something at stake.But we’ve also learned from recent research (like here and here), that we don’t have to accept this. That being clutch under pressure is a skill we can get better at - by practicing under pressure.Of course, that’s easier said than done, because it’s not like we have a “pressure” button we can push to instantly make our hands go cold and turn our brain into mush.So what are we to do? What are the most effective ways of manufacturing pressure training situations in advance of a big performance or audition?Source
I don’t know if this is normal or not, but I’ve always really enjoyed reading consumer reviews.Whether I’m searching for the right bathmat, garbage bags, or sugar free gummy bears (and if this is the first you’re hearing of this internet phenomenon, read that review 🤣), I like having some data before taking action.Source
It’s the day before an audition, and as you take a few minutes to review some tricky sections, suddenly you get a twinge of anxiety and start stressing and freaking out about how awful everything sounds. How unprepared you feel. And how horribly you’re afraid things are going to go. It’s at those exact moments when you know the right thing to do is “think positive.”But these are also the exact moments when it’s hardest to think good thoughts. Like telling a kid to cheer up after they just lost all of their video game privileges for the day, as their little sister munches happily on the last ice cream sandwich in the freezer, giggling while watching her favorite YouTube show (hmm…that's awfully specific...doesn’t that kind of make you wonder what’s happening in the Kageyama household right now?). Most of us have a natural tendency to dwell on negative thoughts. To worry about the future, bemoan past decisions and choices, and focus on what’s bothering us right now in the present. Which from a survival perspective, probably makes good sense. But from a performance perspective, this negativity bias can make it difficult to stay in a good frame of mind before auditions. Or get to sleep the night before a big recital. Which can then make the performance go to crap.So how can we get better at “thinking positive” - at least temporarily - when we need it most? Source
You know those moments when you run into a particularly vexing problem in the practice room and get stuck?Where no matter how many repetitions you put in, or hard you try, you just can't get a note to speak right, or work a passage up to the goal tempo?Whether it’s uncooperative fingers or an embouchure mystery, this can all be pretty frustrating. So as the frustration builds, you might dig your heels in, grit your teeth, and continue to hack away at the problem, hoping that brute force will eventually lead to some sort of breakthrough.Source
Once upon a time, when my son was but a wee 5th grader, my wife and I sat down with him to review his homework assignment – an essay about the early explorers who discovered America. The idea was to give him feedback on how to make his next draft even better.Source
It’s been decades since that day I stood in front of a panel of faculty at Curtis for my college audition, but I still remember it as one of the most anxiety-provoking moments of my life.I had never met any of the musicians who sat and looked at me from behind the table. I knew them only by name and reputation - and even then, wasn’t sure who was who (needless to say, this was before Google and Facebook had been invented).I’m sure they were all perfectly congenial and friendly people, and heck, it’s very possible that one or two may even have smiled at me, but in the heat of the moment, all I saw was an intimidating row of stern, somber, serious-looking faces.Needless to say, my nerves shot through the roof.Whether it’s a college audition, juries, competition, or the unscreened round of an orchestral audition, what are we to do when we come face to face with the people who can meaningfully shape the future course of our lives with just a few marks of their pens?Is there anything we can do in that moment to buoy our confidence and keep our nerves from getting the better of us?Source
With the new year now upon us, you’ve probably begun to see a lot of articles about resolutions, goals, and habits pop into your inbox and news feed.We could spend months exploring the various aspects of this research, but I thought we could keep it simple today. And focus on just one question about setting goals.Namely, what type of goals are best if you want to maximize motivation and the likelihood of sticking with your plans?Source
We all know that exercise is good for us. But developing and maintaining an exercise habit is much easier said than done.How hard is it? Well, I remember my exercise behavior prof once remarking that statistically, we have a better chance of quitting heroin cold turkey than we do of maintaining an exercise program beyond 6 months. Yipes. Why are the numbers so discouraging?Well, working out - especially at first - isn’t inherently fun. I mean, it certainly can be, but cycling until your legs burn, or lifting heavy things to failure is not most folks’ idea of a good time. Is a good workout satisfying? Totally. But are you having fun in the 5th interval of a Tabata workout? Probably not.And that’s pretty much what practicing the violin felt like for me. I did it every day because I wanted to get better, and because playing well was important to me, but was it something I’d do for fun and enjoyment? Ha. Please.Looking back, this was partly because I didn’t really know how to practice and so often had no idea how I was supposed to fill the time. But also, the kind of work that is necessary for improvement is not necessarily enjoyable. Picking apart our weakest areas. Super slow practice. Working on scales, etudes, and technical exercises. Satisfying? Yes. But fun? Not by most folks’ definition.As such, I would often spend most of a day putting practice off, making excuses, allowing myself to get distracted, and guilt-tripping myself, until it was easier to just get it over with than to keep delaying the inevitable.But what if I could have made practicing more enjoyable - without diluting its intensity or effectiveness in any way? Might I have been more likely to practice without wasting so much of the weekend dragging my feet?A recent study of exercise behavior and behavioral economics suggests that there is a simple adjustment that could potentially boost our enjoyment of practicing, and thereby increase our likelihood of getting in a good practice session. Source
“One thing at a time!!!” is a common saying around our house as my daughter tries to alternate between watching her brother’s Pokémon show on TV and reading a book. Or as my son tries to play NBA Live on his phone while sneaking an occasional peek as his sister learns how to eat corn-on-the-cob with a power drill on YouTube.We know that letting our attention shift, willy-nilly, from one thing to another - i.e. “task-switching” - is not such a good thing. And that it can have quite a few negative consequences, like increased distractibility, mistakes, and anxiety - despite how common a phenomenon it is in our distraction-filled world today.But on the flip side, is the intense, laser-like focus where we put our blinders on, and beat our heads against the wall, trying to brute force our way to a solution, even though deep down, we know we’re totally stuck and probably ought to move on.So what is the most effective and efficient way to maximize our creative problem-solving abilities?The answer is a little surprising. Because it’s not something most people would think to do - and at first glance, sounds like it’d actually be kind of annoying.Source
When I was going through the music world as a kid in the 80’s and 90’s, nobody really talked about performance anxiety.I mean, I’m pretty sure it was something we all felt, but it was so rare to hear anyone acknowledge it any way, that I still remember the one time another student brought it up before a concert.Source
“Don’t worry, be happy!”
“Stay positive!”
“Don’t be nervous/sad/upset/frustrated/etc.!”
Throughout our lives, we are told in many ways - both explicitly, and often, more subtly - that we ought to maintain a positive, upbeat attitude. That winners engage in positive thinking, and our success is dependent on our ability to avoiding being so negative.
And while there is certainly much to be said for positivity, sometimes it can be awfully exhausting to keep it up.
Because on occasion, we do experience things in life that are disappointing, discouraging, or frustrating. Sometimes we just feel kind of blah for no apparent reason. And when life throws us curveballs, most of us do have moments of pessimism, doubt, and maybe even panic.
How bad is it for us to let negative thoughts or emotions like this into our lives? Is this like the worst mental habit ever? Are we setting ourselves up for failure by not maintaining better mental hygiene?
Today I’ll be chatting with bassoonist Kim Laskowski, who is currently on the faculty of the Manhattan School of Music and The Juilliard school, and has been associate principal bassoon in the NY Philharmonic for nearly 20 years - a position she won at age 48.
Performing can be fun when you know you’re prepared, walk on stage feeling confident that things are going to go well, play your heart out, and not only sound great, but experience that feeling of being in “flow.”
And then there are those performance days when you wake up the morning to a nagging feeling deep down (or a screaming voice), that you’re not ready. That you hadn’t given yourself enough time to really get comfortable with a certain piece, or hadn’t practiced diligently or smartly enough in the time you did have.
Playing poorly in front of other people is never fun. And the downward spiral of doubts and doom that can kick in after a disappointing performance is no picnic either. So logically, it makes sense to avoid performing until we’re at least somewhat performance-ready, no?
But what does the evidence suggest? Should we avoid any sort of pressure situation until we’re pretty confident that we’re performance-ready? Or are there any benefits to performing even before we feel totally comfortable?
I was listening to an entertaining This American Life podcast episode this week, and unexpectedly learned something curious about cats (the episode was not about cats).
Whether it’s an audition, recital, or blind date, I think we all know that nerves are normal and to be expected. But that doesn’t stop us from looking for ways to try to get rid of anxious feelings, because the butterflies and jitters aren’t especially fun.
Subscribe to the weekly podcast via iTunes | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher Once upon a time, when my daughter was a toddler, we brought home a container of super cute mini zucchini’s that we found a local farmer’s market. She took a nibble, made a face and spit it out, and from that […]
A few years ago, my wife and kids spent the better part of a year living abroad. So with a little extra time on my hands, I decided to take a page out of Indiana Jones's playbook and embark on something of a quest…
…for the best nachos in my neighborhood. 😅
Yep. Every Saturday evening, over the span of a few months, I ordered nachos from a different place.
Chili nachos. Chicken ranchero nachos. Nachos texanos. Nachos el grande deluxe.
And every weekend, I was faced with a dilemma. Should I end my quest and settle for the nachos that I've enjoyed the most so far? Or should I continue to search for better nachos?
Have you ever found yourself wanting to improve yourself or your skills in some way, but unable to make meaningful progress? Even though you know exactly what you need to do to improve?
Like maybe you want to be a better sight-reader, and know that you ought to read through more music with friends, but keep making excuses or avoid the uncomfortable situations that would involve sight-reading?
Or maybe you’d like to become more comfortable with public speaking, and know that it would help to participate in a local Toastmasters group, but feel really awkward when attending meetings and participating?
When it comes to being productive and getting work done, do you like to set deadlines? Or are you more the kind of person that just goes with the flow?
I have a kid who seems to be allergic to calendars, and philosophically opposed to setting times for when to do things. He explains that putting things on the calendar doesn’t work, and he responds better if he just does things on his own internal calendar.
Which of course makes me nervous. I mean, if things aren’t written down on the calendar, will anything ever get done?
I tend to write everything down. From what to buy at the grocery store, to how many socks to pack on a trip, to what books I want to read and Netflix shows I want to see, to when the dog should be given his heartworm medicine, it all gets written down on the calendar or a todo list, with dates and reminders and priority flags and everything.
But in all fairness to the kid, I have to confess that most of the items on my todo list don’t actually get done on the schedule I set for myself (if at all!). And I still totally procrastinate on things.
Which is to say…could the kid be onto something? Could deadlines make us even more prone to procrastinating?
Is it possible that his seemingly loosey-goosey approach is actually more effective and less self-delusional? 🙄
You know those days when you soooo do not want to practice?
Where you sort of putz around the house looking for an excuse to do almost anything else?
On the plus side, I suppose those are the days when the refrigerator gets cleaned out and the bathroom cabinets get organized, but those things don't leave us feeling especially great about ourselves at the end of the day.
Yes, that inner drive sure is nice when it's there, on those days when we feel the motivation to develop our skills, learn new rep, or prepare for an upcoming performance or
We all have a voice in our head.
Sometimes it just offers a running commentary on the events around us ("Yikes, why would anybody wear that?"). Other times it just tosses some random weird thoughts into our stream of consciousness to keep us on our toes ("Hmmm...how would I escape an angry bear in the woods?").
If you do a Google search for perfectionism and creativity, you’ll notice that there are an awful lot of articles out there suggesting that perfectionism “kills” creativity (who knew perfectionism was so homicidal…).
I think we probably all know on some level that pursuing excellence is better (at least healthier) than pursuing perfection. But you might be hard pressed to convince a perfectionist that excellence is good enough. At least, I certainly remember a time in my life when excellence felt like settling, and perfect was the only acceptable standard to aim for.
Live with someone long enough, and you get a pretty good sense of what kind of person they are. What kind of movies they like. Whether or not they take out the trash. How respectful they are of your stuff in the fridge.
We live with ourselves for our entire lives, so sooner or later, we come to form a pretty clear idea about the kind of person we are too.
Have you ever gotten a few days away from a recital or audition, and even if you didn’t yet feel 100% ready, the anticipation and worry got to be so intense that you wished you could just play right that second and get it over with already? Where it’s like the anticipation was worse than the stress of the actual event itself?
Even more than Jan 1st, the start of a new school year was the time of year when I’d make big plans for how I was going to change in some meaningful way.
How I was going to practice more diligently. Or take better notes in class. Or go for a walk in the park. Or eat a hearty salad once a week instead of a dozen two-for-$1 tacos on Taco Tuesday.
As you can probably guess, things usually didn’t go as planned. I’d often lose the motivation, get sidetracked with other things, or a friend would discover that mixing Sanka with the cafeteria’s vanilla soft serve was awesome, and my plans would go out the window.
And while it’s true that we don’t want to be dependent on motivation alone to achieve our goals, it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if there were an easy way to boost our motivation a bit, no?
So…is there a way to amplify our motivation, and make ourselves more likely to take action and do the things that would get us closer to achieving our goals for the coming year?
I don’t know if it’s street noise, the dog trying to take over my pillow, age, or some combination of things, but in recent years, I’ve found myself having more difficulty sleeping through the night.
Sometimes I fall right back to sleep so it’s no big deal. But there are other times when my brain is just too alert, making it difficult to shut off all the thoughts in my head, and fall back asleep.
There was a time when I’d just get up and do some work instead of staying in bed. Because getting stuff done at 4am does feel super hard-core and productive.
But there’s a ton of research out there which suggests that not getting enough sleep can actually sabotage our goals in many aspects of our lives. It can inhibit our ability to learn and make gains in the practice room and classroom, make it more challenging to make good food choices, and in the long run, even put us at a higher risk of dementia.
Of course, knowing how important it is to get good sleep just puts more pressure on needing to sleep. Which makes it harder to get back to sleep!
So what can we do?
Subscribe to the weekly “audio edition” via iTunes About a year ago, the Michaels store in our neighborhood closed down. This really bummed out my daughter as she loves browsing through the countless aisles of artsy crafty things, imagining how to turn all of the random objects she’s collected over the years into new projects. […]
As many kids do, my two little ones started asking for a dog when they were 5 and 3 years old.
At the time, our answer was a hard no. I mean, managing two kids already felt like a lot. We couldn’t imagine adding a high-maintenance ball of fur to the equation.
So as many parents do (or so I’m assuming), we kicked the problem down the road for future us to deal with, saying that while we didn’t think they were old enough to take on the responsibility of dog ownership, maybe in five years, when they were 10 and 8, we might reconsider.
We assumed that they’d forget about it. But of course they didn’t. And to convince us that they were responsible enough to have a dog, for 30 days, the older one woke up every morning, dragged himself out of bed, down the hall, out the door, down the elevator, out of the building, and took a selfie of himself on the street “walking” his non-existent dog.
So we got a dog.
And the first thing we learned, is that we had no idea how to train a dog. How to get it to sit, stay, pee outside instead of inside…the little furball didn’t come pre-trained with any particular commands, so we were kind of at a loss.
A bit of Googling led us to discover clicker training, which basically is a way of positively reinforcing or highlighting desired behaviors and providing feedback to the dog, so it knows when it has done something good. Which is a contrast to the more aversive approach to training that involves using pain or fear to get a dog to repeat a desired behavior.
This more positive approach resonated with us, so we gave it a try we delegated all of the training to our daughter, and it all seemed to work out pretty well.
So I was intrigued, when a few years later, I was listening to a Hidden Brain podcast episode and an orthopedic surgeon named Martin Levy described how he was using clicker training with – wait for it – his surgical residents. That’s right – clicker training for humans.
The gist, is that this way of teaching helped to take negativity and judgment and anxiety and fear out of the learning process, and seemed to improve skill acquisition as well. And there was even an organization named TAGteach which had a whole system developed specifically for humans. Which made me wonder…might this approach to teaching also work with musicians?
Umm…so does it?
I was watching blogger Tim Urban’s TED talk about procrastination with my kids this morning, and we all laughed at the part where he described the panic monster, because I think we’ve all experienced the elevated level of stress and anxiety that kicks in as a deadline approaches.
I don’t know what it is, but there’s something that happens, perhaps no matter how well prepared we are, where about a week or two out from a performance or audition, there’s an increase in these nagging, repetitive, negative thoughts as the impending moment of truth draws nearer.
Like an escalating series of “what if’s.” And a regret-inducing avalanche of “should have’s.”
These difficult-to-shut-off repetitive negative thinking patterns, or rumination, is one of the hallmarks of depressive and anxiety disorders. But even if this doesn’t get to a clinically concerning level, it still makes for a lot of stress and anxiety during the countdown to an important audition or performance.
Which for me at least, would contribute to a sense of desperation or frantic-ness in my practice, which would often exacerbate an already crummy-feeling week. And not do a whole lot to make things better on stage.
So is there anything we can do to reduce this repetitive negative thinking phenomenon in the leadup to a performance? Other than ramping up our last-minute panic-practicing?
Subscribe to the weekly “audio edition” via iTunes It’s been many months now since musicians and audiences have been able to come together for live music. But as restrictions begin to lift in many parts of the country, and as friends begin to gather, diners return to restaurants, and sports fans begin attending live games […]