Nephtali: Recent Episodes

Heather Marie McGairty

heathermariemcgairty@gmail.com

Nephtal is Hebrew meaning My Struggle. Impressum Life Story; Child Abuse; Trauma; Domestic Violence; Sexual/Incest Abuse; Drug Abuse; Siblings; Foster Care; Sibling Death; Occult; Religion; Grand-Parenting; Blended Families; Mixed Heritage Families & Marriages; Teen Pregnancy; As I continue to write, different random memories pop in & out of my mind like shadows. I struggle to find where they belong , to put them in an organized chronological order which is seemingly impossible with scattered ghosts of memory. Some rather innocuous even, I struggle to grasp & retain them before they escape into oblivion once more. Never knowing their validity or importance. Trying to find anything that will explain why my mind chose to bury them in the first place. Like grasping at straws strewn in the winds of a tornado. At the same time I fear them, almost choosing conscientiously to avoid digging them up, for fear that these memories are so painful they may drive me literally insane.

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My "racial" Identity in America. 🌎 🇺🇸 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/Nephtali/support

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In memory of 5 year old filicide victim Grayson O'conner Kansas City Missouri USA 2023--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/Nephtali/support

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Update -Ending 2023--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/Nephtali/support

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2014-2015 Wichita, Ks


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Bonus-TriggerWarning ~Still Working through grief despite & in addition to dysfunction


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Despite the fact that we were no longer together Anthony continue rely on me for emotional support.


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Memorial Dream: *⚠️ Severe Trigger Warning ⚠️*


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The end of Ch. 11


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Wichita, KS


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Hays, KS Spring 2011


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Shorter Episodes. Fresher Wounds.


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My Presence of Calm in the Eye of the Storm.


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Google "Research"- Battered Persons Syndrome.


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My daughter asked me why I never remember the good times.


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Why didn't you just leave?


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My dad passed Nov. 17th 2020


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Final Divorce Proceedings. Finally Free at Last after two years of fighting to escape.


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Trigger Warning. This was the hardest chapter for me to write.


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"State Family Re-integration Therapy"


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Trigger Warning ⚠ Racism ⚠ Extreme Violence ⚠ Racial Slurs ⚠


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This is a short transition that doesn't even really qualify as a chapter because it's so short I hadn't realized this is the point I stopped writing because the next chapter gets extremely emotional for me and this was the first day of the rest of my life as they say.


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This chapter is pretty much covering my freshman and sophomore year in high school and my relationship with my first love whom I lost my virginity to.


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Bonus


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1988-1990


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3rd Grade to 8th Grade


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Trauma #CPTSD #Pedophilia #Incest


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1981-1983


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The first chapter describes what I remember from the time I was born until the time I was permanently removed from my parents custody shortly after I turn 6 years old.


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Introducing myself personally before I start publishing my reading of my FREE book Nephtali: Nephtali is Hebrew meaning My Struggle. Impressum

Life Story; Child Abuse; Trauma; Domestic Violence; Sexual/Incest Abuse; Drug Abuse; Siblings; Foster Care; Sibling Death; Occult; Religion; Grand-Parenting; Blended Families; Mixed Heritage Families & Marriages; Teen Pregnancy; As I continue to write, different random memories pop in & out of my mind like shadows. I struggle to find where they belong , to put them in an organized chronological order which is seemingly impossible with scattered ghosts of memory. Some rather innocuous even, I struggle to grasp & retain them before they escape into oblivion once more. Never knowing their validity or importance. Trying to find anything that will explain why my mind chose to bury them in the first place. Like grasping at straws strewn in the winds of a tornado. At the same time I fear them, almost choosing conscientiously to avoid digging them up, for fear that these memories are so painful they may drive me literally insane.


This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/Nephtali/support