Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST: Recent Episodes
Ken Howard, LCSW
GayTherapyLA is a private practice for psychotherapy and coaching services, with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, as its founder and director, with over 29 years experience providing services for gay men, as individuals and couples, with offices in Los Angeles and serving others nationwide in the U.S. or guys all over the world via phone or webcam sessions. Ken and his associates provide help for gay men to achieve their optimum quality of life in both their personal lives and careers. While a podcast cannot substitute for therapy and is provided as educational information only, these episodes reflect the work done at GayTherapyLA with clients, daily. Your questions and comments are welcome! (copyright 2021 by Ken Howard, LCSW, all rights reserved)
In Part 2 of Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why receiving gifts and physical touch can mean far more than they seem. Gifts may communicate that your partner stayed in your mind; touch can offer comfort, safety, and belonging without needing to lead to sex.
Ken connects these everyday moments to attachment, the histories gay men bring into relationships, and a central question for couples: does the way I'm loving you actually feel like love to you?
The five love languages can be useful—but for gay men, they often carry deeper psychological meaning. In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, reimagines the familiar framework through the lived experiences of gay men. He explores why words of affirmation can be about being seen, why acts of service can become a way of earning closeness, and why quality time is less about hours together than genuine emotional presence. The deeper question is not simply how we express love. It's why certain expressions of love make our nervous system feel safe, valued, and connected. Part 2 will cover receiving gifts, physical touch, and the attachment psychology beneath the five love languages.
Many successful gay men appear to have everything: thriving careers, financial security, meaningful accomplishments, and lives that others admire. Yet beneath that success, many quietly wonder whether they are truly lovable—or simply valued for what they achieve.
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores why professional success often fails to create emotional security. Drawing on more than 34 years of working with gay men, he explains how childhood experiences of monitoring ourselves, adapting to others' expectations, and earning acceptance can lead to a lifelong belief that love must be continually earned through performance.
Topics include:
- Why success and emotional security are not the same
- The difference between admiration and genuine intimacy
- How childhood adaptation becomes adult achievement
- Why many high-achieving gay men still fear rejection
- The hidden cost of always appearing strong and capable
- How emotional visibility creates deeper relationships
- Why vulnerability—not perfection—is what builds lasting intimacy
If you've ever felt admired but not truly known, accomplished but still insecure, or worried that people would lose interest if you stopped performing, this episode offers a compassionate psychological framework for understanding why—and how genuine emotional security can begin to grow.
Have you ever opened Instagram only to discover your friends got together without you?
Within seconds, your mind may begin asking painful questions: Did they forget me? Did they not want me there? What's wrong with me?
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores why social exclusion hurts so deeply—and why the real wound often isn't the missed invitation itself, but the meaning we attach to it.
Drawing on more than 30 years of experience working with gay men, Ken explains how childhood experiences of feeling different, monitoring ourselves, and searching for acceptance can shape our adult friendships, social lives, and sense of belonging.
Topics include:
- Why being left out feels so painful
- The difference between facts and assumptions
- Why social media amplifies feelings of exclusion
- Why many gay men are waiting to be chosen instead of building connection
- The difference between friendship and validation
- How to stop organizing your self-worth around other people's invitations
- What genuine belonging actually looks like
If you've ever wondered why a missed dinner, party, or group trip feels so much bigger than it "should," this episode offers a compassionate psychological framework for understanding what's really happening—and how to build relationships where you no longer have to wonder whether you belong.
Many gay men believe their struggles stem from anxiety, loneliness, dating frustrations, low self-esteem, or difficult relationships. But underneath many of these challenges lies a quieter and often overlooked pattern: self-abandonment.
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how gay men learn to disconnect from their feelings, needs, boundaries, anger, instincts, and even their dignity in order to preserve connection, approval, desirability, or emotional safety.
Drawing from more than 30 years of clinical work, Ken explains how childhood experiences of conditional acceptance, invisibility, bullying, and self-monitoring can evolve into adult patterns of self-suppression that quietly erode self-respect and intimacy.
Topics include:
- What self-abandonment actually is
- Why many gay men learn to prioritize acceptance over authenticity
- How self-abandonment masquerades as maturity, patience, and understanding
- The hidden resentment created by chronic self-suppression
- Nine common forms of self-abandonment in everyday life
- How to set boundaries without guilt
- The difference between healthy compromise and self-betrayal
- Why authentic relationships require self-respect
If you've ever found yourself laughing off hurt feelings, staying too long in one-sided relationships, over-explaining your boundaries, suppressing your anger, or making yourself smaller to keep the peace, this episode offers a framework for understanding what's happening—and how to begin reconnecting with yourself.
Why does Donald Trump continue to inspire such fierce loyalty among millions of Americans?
In this special episode of the Gay Therapy LA Podcast, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, steps outside his usual focus on gay men's mental health to examine a broader psychological question: what emotional needs does authoritarian communication fulfill?
Drawing on more than three decades as a psychotherapist, Ken explores why certainty can feel more persuasive than complexity during periods of rapid social change, economic anxiety, and cultural uncertainty. He discusses how fear seeks emotional containment, why simple narratives can outperform nuanced explanations, and why people often respond to emotional regulation as much as they do to policy.
Rather than debating politics, this episode examines the psychology that makes authoritarian messaging so compelling—and why understanding these emotional dynamics may be one of the best protections against manipulation.
If you've ever wondered why facts alone often fail to change minds, or why confident leaders can inspire devotion despite contradictions, this episode offers a psychological framework for understanding one of the defining political phenomena of our time.
Why can't I stay hard anymore? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the real causes of erectile dysfunction in gay men—and what actually helps beyond pills, panic, and self-criticism.
Many successful gay male professionals reach a point where something doesn't quite add up.
Your career works. You're capable, driven, and functioning at a high level.
And yet, something still feels off—especially in relationships, connection, or your sense of ease outside of work.
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why this happens—and why insight alone isn't enough to change it.
He breaks down:
- the hidden "second layer" of stress many gay men carry in professional environments
- how career demands shape emotional patterns, relationships, and identity
- why high-functioning men can stay stuck despite strong self-awareness
- and what actually creates meaningful, lasting change
This is not about burnout or failure.
It's about understanding why success in one area of life doesn't automatically translate into fulfillment in another—and what to do differently if you want that to change.
In Part 1 of this series, we explored why insight alone isn't enough to create real change in gay men's lives — even for those who are highly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply reflective.
So what actually does work?
In Part 2, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, moves beyond theory and into real-world application. This episode focuses on the practical side of personal growth: how to translate insight into concrete, repeatable behaviors that lead to meaningful change.
Instead of trying to "fix everything," Ken introduces a more realistic and effective approach — replacing old patterns with small, intentional actions that build over time.
This episode explores:
- Why change requires replacement, not just awareness
- How to interrupt emotional and behavioral loops in real time
- The role of structure, delay, and intentional choice in breaking compulsive patterns
- Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection
- How to reduce isolation through small, manageable social actions
- The difference between motivation and movement
- How self-respect is built through behavior, not just mindset
Ken also walks through specific, real-life examples of how to replace common patterns, including:
- compulsive app use → meaningful connection
- urgency and impulsivity → structure and delay
- emotional numbing → purposeful action
- self-criticism → self-respect through follow-through
- isolation → low-pressure social engagement
If you've ever felt like you know what's going on in your life — but still struggle to change it — this episode offers a clear and grounded path forward.
Because at a certain point, growth isn't about understanding more.
It's about living differently.
Many gay men already understand themselves surprisingly well. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, explored their childhood patterns, and can explain their shame, anxiety, trauma, or relationship struggles in detail.
So why do so many still feel stuck?
In Part 1 of this two-part series, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores one of the biggest limitations of insight-based personal growth: understanding yourself does not automatically change your life.
Drawing from more than 34 years of work with gay men, Ken explains why insight alone often turns into rumination instead of transformation — and why lasting change requires behavioral shifts, emotional regulation, structure, repetition, and real-world action.
This episode explores:
- Why books like The Velvet Rage and The Body Keeps the Score are helpful — but incomplete on their own
- The repeating emotional-behavioral loops many gay men experience
- Why shame and trauma frameworks can unintentionally keep people stuck
- The difference between awareness and behavioral change
- How gay men can begin replacing compulsive or self-defeating patterns with healthier alternatives
- Why "partial wins" matter more than perfection
- How therapy and coaching can help translate insight into real-life change
Ken also offers practical examples of replacement behaviors for:
- compulsive app use
- emotional numbing
- self-criticism
- isolation
- urgency and impulsivity
- all-or-nothing thinking
If you've ever thought: "I understand why I do this… but I still keep doing it," this episode is for you.
Part 2 will continue the conversation by exploring additional behavioral replacements and strategies for handling the everyday stressors many gay men face.
Why does it feel so hard to build real friendships as a gay man in adulthood?
You meet people. You have good conversations. There's even mutual interest. But somehow, nothing turns into something consistent or meaningful.
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explains why this isn't about a lack of effort—it's about a lack of structure.
He breaks down:
- why modern gay social life often prevents friendships from forming
- the subtle patterns that stop connections from developing
- and what actually creates real, lasting friendships over time
This is a practical, grounded look at how connection really works—and what to do differently if you want your social life to feel more stable, consistent, and real.
Work with Ken: https://gaytherapyla.com/individual-therapy-and-counseling-gay-men/ https://gaytherapyla.com/services-offered/gay-men-online-counseling-coaching/
What happens when a routine workplace situation suddenly turns into a formal concern—or worse, an accusation? Many successful gay men are finding themselves navigating high-stakes anxiety around reputation, HR processes, and professional risk. In this episode, Ken Howard explores the psychological impact of these situations and how to stay grounded, think clearly, and respond strategically under pressure.
What happens when gay couples mix love and business? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines how gay men sharing a business can intensify power struggles, communication issues, and sexual disconnection.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why many gay men experience a shift in ambition after 40—and why it's not burnout, but a natural developmental transition. He explains what's changing psychologically and how to navigate this stage with clarity and purpose.
Why do many successful gay men feel unsettled in midlife? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, long-term specialist in therapy for gay men, explains how midlife restlessness is often a normal developmental transition — bringing new questions about meaning, relationships, sexuality, and purpose — and how it can become a powerful opportunity for growth and reinvention.
Breakups can feel emotionally destabilizing—especially in the immediate aftermath, when routines collapse and emotions swing unpredictably. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST shares practical, therapist-informed coping strategies specifically for gay men navigating the first difficult weeks after a relationship ends. Learn how to calm the nervous system, manage emotional triggers, and begin stabilizing after loss so healing can gradually take hold.
Many gay men feel persistently on edge in today's prolonged climate of political and social uncertainty. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores how chronic stress affects the nervous system—and what actually helps gay men stay grounded, clear, and emotionally steady when reassurance isn't enough.
Struggling with ED issues and want practical tips that actually help—not vague advice or just "take a pill"? In this episode, gay men's sex therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST shares clear, experience-based strategies for coping with ED, reducing performance anxiety, and staying sexually confident. Learn what makes ED worse, what helps immediately, and how to stop panic, self-monitoring, and pressure from killing arousal.
Experienced specialist gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines neurodivergence, autism spectrum, dating, and intimacy in gay men, offering practical guidance for neurodivergent men and their partners.
Careers don't develop all at once — they unfold through psychological phases across the lifespan. And for gay men, that path often looks very different from the one straight men inherit.
In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, maps the developmental stages of a gay man's career — from early achievement and identity formation, through ambition, visibility, and midlife reassessment, to senior authority, retirement, and legacy. Drawing on Erik Erikson's lifespan psychology and over 30 years of clinical experience, he explores why many gay men tie self-worth to performance, use work as a substitute for belonging, and experience midlife not as a crisis, but as a psychological review.
If you've ever felt behind, over-identified with your career, or unsure what your next chapter is supposed to be, this episode offers a developmental lens that replaces shame with context — and confusion with clarity.
A gay therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, examines the Heated Rivalry phenomenon—exploring why gay romance has gone mainstream, where visibility becomes fetishization, and what this cultural moment really means for gay men's identity, safety, and mental health.
Holidays can intensify loneliness, family tension, and emotional stress for many gay men. Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why it's OK to hate the holidays and shares practical coping strategies—plus how the new year can become a turning point instead of a repeat.
What if real wealth isn't about money? In this episode, I explore the non-monetary wealth many gay men build over a lifetime—relationships, culture, wisdom, sexuality, and self-acceptance—and why it matters more than we think.
Why gay men struggle with compulsive phone use -- and how anxiety, comparison, and validation loops fuel it. Learn tools to heal and reconnect with real life.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about silencing political voices, seeing things for what they are, and how to stay resilient during Trump 2.0 America.
Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts from stigma and myths about treatment and mental health.
Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility. Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.
Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myths reflect cultural anxieties about masculinity, sexuality, and belonging. Through the Six Principles of Sexual Health and 30+ years of clinical experience, Ken examines how humor, fantasy, and identity intersect—and how gay men can move from stereotype to sexual self-empowerment.
"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT, psychodynamic theory, and the Six Principles of Sexual Health, showing how self-awareness can turn confusion or shame into sexual self-empowerment and integrity.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur’s themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the Jewish Day of Atonement, this episode invites you to let go of shame, repair relationships, and embrace bold renewal.
Too often, gay men trade in “toxic currencies” like attention, sex, money, status, drama, and jealousy. They feel powerful in the moment but drain us over time. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares what healthier currencies look like — and how to build a richer, more grounded life.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men’s mental health—exploring minority stress, cultural backlash, and strategies for resilience in a divided America.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not trendy quick fixes. Learn how to move beyond shame, grief, and rejection toward resilience and authentic connection.
Some therapists claim to be “welcoming to all” while secretly holding non-affirming values about LGBTQ+ identity and gay men's issues such as sexuality. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, exposes the harm, ethical breaches, and red flags of non-affirming therapy — and shows clients and parents how to spot it before it causes damage.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores “The Cinderella Syndrome” in gay men—the rise from rejection to confidence, and what happens when the glow-up fades. From body image to aging, learn how to build lasting self-worth, stay empowered, and thrive beyond appearances. Real talk, real tools, real growth.
Do you struggle with control, fear of abandonment, or always expect the worst? You might be a gay Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). In this episode, Ken explores how unresolved childhood chaos shapes adult gay life—and how healing is possible
Losing a partner is devastating—especially for gay men, whose grief is often marginalized. In this episode, gay men’s specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the emotional journey of gay widowers, including AIDS-era losses, the five stages of grief, coping strategies, and how therapy or coaching can help. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers healing and hope.
Aging as a gay man can feel like becoming invisible—but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares insights from 30+ years of helping gay men reclaim sexual confidence, confront ageism, and embrace desire at any age. It's time to get real about erotic aging—and radically refuse to disappear.
What if Gilligan’s Island was more than a goofy sitcom? What if it was a mirror for gay men’s internal struggles with shame, identity, and survival? This episode explores how each castaway reflects one of the Seven Deadly Sins—and how these moral archetypes echo the messages many gay men internalize. Through humor, camp, and therapeutic insight, this episode reclaims “sin” as a source of healing, not harm.
What holds us back from achieving our full potential? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the unconscious barriers many gay men face—like self-doubt, fear of success, cultural pressure to stay small, and toxic professional competition. With insights from 30+ years of clinical practice, he shares empowering strategies from cognitive and positive psychology to help move past internalized limitations and build a life aligned with your true goals.
Discover how the Big Five OCEAN personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—can help gay men improve relationships, communication, and self-understanding, with insights from therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST.
Tired of flashy social media gurus? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down the difference between pop psych soundbites and real therapy that heals—especially for gay men seeking depth, substance, and actual growth.
In this episode, I explore the many ways gay men experience betrayal—in relationships, friendships, family, and professional life—and how we can heal from these wounds with clarity and strength. If betrayal has touched your life, listen in and consider therapy or coaching with me to reclaim your peace of mind and restore trust in yourself and others.
In this episode, Ken explores how gay men can reclaim positive masculinity—balancing strength, emotional intelligence, and authenticity amid today’s political and cultural battles. Learn how evolving healthy masculinity empowers gay men personally, professionally, and within our larger society.
Gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles through a queer lens, showing how its life-changing tools can help gay men overcome internalized shame, build self-worth, and boldly pursue their goals. Ken shares practical, affirming insights inspired by Canfield's book to help you design the life you truly want.
Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores The White Lotus Season 3’s buzzed-about gay incest story line, why taboo fantasies intrigue gay men, and how pop culture stirs both desire and discomfort. A candid look at erotic imagination, psychological nuance, and separating fantasy from reality.
Navigating healthcare as a gay man isn’t just about checkups—it’s about self-advocacy, access, and fighting systemic bias. In this episode, I break down the clinical, financial, cultural, and emotional barriers that make medical care more challenging for gay men, from dealing with dismissive doctors to securing PrEP, HIV treatment, or mental health support. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by insurance battles, medical gaslighting, or the stress of getting the care you need, let’s talk about how therapy and coaching can help you take back control.
Too many gay men delay vital legal planning—until it’s too late. In this episode, Ken covers key protections like wills, medical directives, and financial security to safeguard your relationship from a psychotherapist's perspective. Learn how to take charge now for a secure and empowered future!
In a society where "pretty privilege" often dictates social dynamics, many gay men confront the challenge of not fitting conventional beauty standards. In this frank episode, Ken delves into embracing one's identity beyond physical appearance, highlighting the power of charm, confidence, and kindness. Listen in to discover strategies for building emotional resilience and redefining self-worth in a gay world that often prioritizes looks.
Ken discusses the often-overlooked role of therapy in supporting gay men through legal battles. From workplace discrimination to hate crimes, gay men can face legal challenges that demand both legal representation and emotional resilience. Therapy can prepare clients for high-stress situations like depositions and cross-examinations, build psychological stamina for long-term legal fights, and strengthen self-worth in the face of systemic bias. Therapy can be a crucial ally in your fight for fairness, empowerment, and self-advocacy.
GayTherapyLA Podcast producer, Austen Weinhart, interviews host Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, on the history of Gay Men's Therapy and his own career path over 30 years as a gay men's specialist therapist, coach, sex therapist, author, and activisit.
This episode discusses the unique challenges gay men face in competitive professional environments. It explores how toxic competition, workplace biases, and generational tensions can undermine professional growth and mental health, and how executive coaching can foster resilience, authenticity, emotional intelligence, and leadership skills.
Gay men's specialist therapist and life coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST discusses the new musical movie, "Wicked," and the lessons gay men can learn from its themes, characters, and songs.
Ken exposes the myths around therapy, life coaching, psychiaty, and medicine, and how to understand and access these services.
Ken gives tips on how to cope with anxiety over the re-election of Trump and its implications for LGBT+ and gay rights, discussed in an historical context of the re-election of George W. Bush in 2004, and how to critically examine sources of anxiety.
Ken gives tips when gay men act as caregivers for aging parents, discussing navigating family history, conflicts, work/life balance, emotional ambivalence, cultural issues, and how therapy or coaching can help you get through it.
In this re-reading of his November 2, 2016 blog article, Ken revisits an analysis of the Modern American Conservative, Republican/Trump Supporters, on the eve of the 2024 election, and how the 2016 warning is a lesson for today.
Ken discusses gay men and the need for attention; healthy vs. unhealthy narcissism; inclusion and exclusion from gay groups; and practical tips for meeting guys in gay social settings.
Ken teaches about the TFID (Type, Frequency, Intensity, Duration) model for managing mental health challenges for gay men such as depression, anxiety, and others, with practical exercises to bring symptom relief.
Ken discusses Netflix's "Monster: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" and its themes of notoriety, abuse, and healing, and applies these in the context of gay male adult sexual trauma and abuse survivors.
Ken provides education on how gay male relationships (couples or polycules) can establish ground rules agreements for Consensual Non-Monogamy using the Who What When Where Why structure.
Ken teaches about supporting gay men leaving religion and reclaiming their identity with secular alternatives, free of religious abuse and embracing secular solace or an affirmative tradition that works for them.
Ken gives tips and "modules" for coping with election anxiety in this 2024 election season, and how to cope with anxiety symptoms, increase self-empowerment, and practice compassionate self-support.
Ken describes how IFS, Internal Family Systems, a model of evidence-based psychotherapy, can apply to gay men to help you integrate the different parts of you into a cohesive, confident sense of Self.
Ken gives tips for gay men's dating on what gay men complain about their dates to their therapist or their friends, and what to do about them.
Ken gives guidance on how gay men in relationships can discuss whether to have kids, and their options for doing so.
Ken discusses the subtle and insidious ways that religious moralism undermines professional mental health services delivery (psychotherapy) for the broader LGBTQ+ community and more specifically for gay men, and how to counter this.
Ken reviews the psychological, clinical dynamics of money management, planning aspects of your financial life, and how to talk to the people in your life to reduce financial anxiety and support long-term financial stability.
Based on his 32 years as a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives 21 tips for gay men and how to recover from a breakup.
Ken gives guidance on gay men and starting your own business, based on his own experience owning a business for over 25 years, and providing career/executive coaching to the Gay Male Solo Entpreneur, a preview of his upcoming e-course.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, gives thirteen tips for gay men on how to be a better lover, based on his thirty-year experience as a gay men's specialist therapist, coach, and sex therapist.
Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, discusses gay men and wealth: rewards, challenges, how to cope with those challenges, and how to develop a social support network.
Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives seven secret tips and recommendations for how gay male couples and polycules can enhance their relationship for both longevity and satisfaction.
Ken describes the emotional benefits of kink play for gay men, with their implications for daily life and personal self-empowerment.
Ken describes Gender Role Enforcement Rage: what it is, who is doing it, its harms, and what to do about it.
Ken takes a Mindfulness look at how gay men can enjoy the Holiday Season with the five senses of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.
Ken discusses gay men and "Santa Daddy," gay men's approaches to Santa Claus, inspired by the song, "Santa Baby," and inspiration for the holiday season.
Ken discusses the most common unconscious barriers gay men have to reaching their full potential from 30 years practicing therapy and coaching for gay men.
Ken discusses how gay men can reclaim their right to spirituality even after abuse by religious institutions.
Ken gives tips on how to start each day with a strong mental health to give inspiration and focus to meet our goals as gay men. (To support the show, visit glow.fm/gaytherapylawithkenhowardlcswcst)
Ken describes the Top 10 reasons gay male couples break up, as observed in over 30 years of practice as a gay specialist therapist, and offers a coping strategy to prevent each one.
Ken describes his role offering Executive Coaching for gay men and its many purposes and functions.
Ken reviews the most common complaints and challenges from single gay male clients in dating, and how to adaptively cope with each of them.
Ken discusses lessons learned in writing his full-length, LGBT-themed musical play, "On the Boulevard," its concept album, and its themes for gay men's self-acceptance.
Ken gives tips for gay male relationships managing the economics of time, energy, money, convenience, space, control, and sex.
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST provides a self-reflection exercise to know your own sexuality in more depth; your background, hopes, fears, best, and worst experiences to re-empower your sexual self at every phase of life.
Ken announces that the audio file for "Episode 129: Gay Men and Superheroes as Role Models" has been corrected due to a previous incomplete audio file, and now listeners can enjoy the complete episode.
Ken discusses classic superhero characters from comics and movies, who they are, what they mean for gay men, and what we can learn from them.
Ken discusses traumatic experiences such as child abuse, illness, accidents, crime, and interpersonal betrayals and the long-term coping in life for each of these.
Ken discusses areas of gay men's relationships that can feel out of balance, and how to re-establish fairness and equality in those areas for the long term.
Ken discusses some unusual and unique considerations for gay men when discovering a partner has "cheated" or broken an agreement, with tips on how to understand layers of nuances for healing.
Ken discusses the history of LGBT civil rights activism and how we can all contribute in our own ways to the movement.
Ken gives tips on how to navigate mixing a new boyfriend with your existing group of friends or family, and how to cope with the most common challenges.
Ken discusses the functions and purposes that casual hookups for gay men can be, and the importance of affirming our own sexual self-empowerment.
Ken gives tips on the life lessons gay men can learn from actors in the entertainment industry, about character, sex, and telling our stories.
Ken discusses how to cope when our mentors have flaws: parents, teachers, professors, bosses, work mentors, and therapist/coaches, and how to cope when they disappoint us.
Ken discusses how to make positive changes in the new year in how you approach your sex life in your mind, heart, and body.
Ken attended the 2022 CLAW (Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend) Conference in Los Angeles, and gives tips from the kink education seminars for gay men he attended there.
Ken discusses how gay men can cope with the frustrations of being single when you want a partner, and how we can rally our internal and external resources to be at our best.
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumas related to the workplace, family of origin, political, and social/peer areas, and tips for how to cope with them triumphantly.
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumas related to the workplace, family of origin, political, and social/peer areas, and tips for how to cope with them triumphantly.
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumatic experiences that can be medical, legal, academic, or criminal, and tips for coping triumphantly with each of them.
Ken discusses gay men overcoming specific traumatic experiences that can be medical, legal, academic, or criminal, and tips for coping triumphantly with each of them.
Ken discusses the rewards and challenges for gay men with pets, and some cognitive/behavioral coping strategies for each of them.
In the second of this two-part episode, Ken discusses more "deal breakers" in gay men's dating, and gives tips for their alternatives.
In Part One of this two-part episode, Ken gives guidance on six of the most common dating "no-go's" for gay men, how to cope with them and their alternatives.
A discussion of the mental health and sociio-political impacts of Monkey Pox for gay men, and how to cope with them.
Gay men's specialist psychotherapist, life/career/executive coach, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives an overview of gay men and recovering from trauma to reclaim our lives.
In this Part Two of "Gay Men and Kink: Sensory Enhancements to Sex: Materials, Circumstances, and Fabrics: An Overview", Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives information on how leather, rubber, and other materials can be used in erotic play for gay men.
Licensed psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, provides an overview for gay men of the materials and circumstances for kink play in a safe and consensual context.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, offers stories about LGBT Pride Season 2022, and the value of the summer vacation romance.
Gay men's specialist licensed psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist offers perspectives on reconciling your religious beliefs with your sexuality.
Gay men's specialist sex therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives tips for gay male couples to manage mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy.
Ken discusses how to focus on the five senses - sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch -- to enhance a gay man's sexual experience, reduce anxiety, and improve sexual functioning.
Ken gives guidance on eight common pitfalls in dating for gay men, and strategies for how to cope with each of them.
Ken discusses how diagnosable (DSM-5) psychiatric disorders can affect mental health and sexual health for gay men and couples.
Ken describes six areas of boundaries within a gay male relationship to discuss and reduce conflict.
Ken gives examples of various incidents of bad luck in gay men's lives, with a corresponding coping strategy for each.
Ken discusses the challenges in gay male relationships when one partner has traits of ADD/ADHD and the other has traits of OCD/OCPD, and how to create harmony.
Ken discusses gay men's relationship to food, at any phase of life, with its rewards and challenges.
Ken discusses the ancient Greeks' Eight Types of Love, and applies them to gay men for inspiration and quality of life.
Ken offers a perspective on a non-religious, secular humanistic view of the themes of the Christmas season.
Ken describes a personal crisis being hospitalized with cellulitis, and the perspective learned from sudden severe illness.
Ken gives guidance on how gay male couples can cope with living together too early in their relationship.
Ken gives guidance for gay male relationships who want to be Consensual Non-Monogamous (CNM) early in a new relationship.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, discusses the contributing factors in erectile dysfunction (ED) in gay men, the emotional, physical, interpersonal, and cultural.
Ken discusses how gay men make the decision to relocate to a different town, city, state, or country and the reasons why.
Ken discusses gay men's approach to gay smartphone apps like Grindr and Scruff, and getting your sexual and emotional needs met with a clear perspective.
Ken discusses the umbrella term "LGBT" and the consideration of the specific needs of gay men, and their political and social implications.
Ken discusses the "gym crush" phenomenon and how our perceptions of fantasies versus reality support our well-being as gay men.
Ken describes how the end of COVID-19 pandemic restrictions in many regions can mean recovering from a traumatic experience, with the symptoms and phases of recovery in a gay male context.
Ken discusses Armine Asatryan, LMFT's 7 unhealthy traits in a relationship and their solutions, as applied to gay men.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST discusses improving gay men's relationships by meeting three needs: emotional, sexual, and interpersonal.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, offers three ways for gay men to improve their sex lives: communication, negotiation, and experimentation.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, applies the Braun-Harvey and Vigorito "Six Principles of Sexual Health" specifically to gay men.
Ken shares some of the research of Dr. John Gottman, who identified the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" in relationship demise as Defensiveness, Criticism, Stonewalling, and Contempt, applied to gay men's relationships.
Host Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, welcomes David Ley, Ph.D., CST-S, author of "The Myth of Sex Addiction" and other books, to revisit the idea of "sex addiction" or "porn addiction" in gay men.
Ken Howard, LCSW, gay men's specialist therapist and coach, gives tips on money management for gay men.
Ken gives tips on how to deal with your "ex" in what's called the "post-relationship relationship," and how to succeed in moving on.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gives guidance on how sex therapy for gay men helps your quality of sex life with yourself, partner(s), or others in affirming ways.
Ken gives practical tips for success for 2021, in many areas of your life, including emotionally, physically, financially, relationally, and professionally.
Ken discusses the terms we use in gay male relationships to describe functions and roles, about what you are -- and what you want to be.
Ken Howard, LCSW, gives tips to gay male couples who no longer have sex, and practical ways to "thaw" the stalemate and restore sex.
GayTherapyLA founder, Ken Howard, LCSW gives tips on dealing with the stress of COVID-19, how to avoid pitfalls, and ultimately prepare for recovery.
Ken gives tips to prospective gay dads on questions to ask yourselves and each other about the option of having kids in a gay male relationship.
Ken gives tips for gay men on how to approach sex in the new era of COVID-19, from a Harm Reduction approach.
Ken gives tips on how gay men who have a much younger or a much older partner can make their relationship thrive for the long term.
Ken Howard, LCSW, a specialist in gay men's relationship advice, gay couples therapy, and gay sex therapy, gives tips on how to manage a gay long-distance relationship.
Ken discusses the need for gay men to have bars, clubs, and other social "safe spaces" of their own, which are being increasingly threatened during COVID-19 and social changes.
Ken shares the Mental Health chapter from his book, "Self-Empowerment: Have the Life You Want!" and its application to gay men.
Ken gives case examples of how gay couples face the dilemma of being two "tops" or two "bottoms", and how couples therapy and sex therapy can help.
Ken Howard, LCSW describes how our culture of origin can help gay men build resilience in tough times, and celebrate who we are, and where we came from.
Ken gives tips on how developing self-discipline can help you achieve what you want to do, be, or have, offering solutions to the things that get in your way.
Ken gives a list of essential mental health coping skills for success for actors, writers, designers, and other creative professionals.
Ken discusses an article by Elyssa Kirkham on the 7 must-have money conversations to have before cohabitation or marriage, but from a gay male perspective.
Ken asks you to reflect on your "relationship" with alcohol and drugs. What's the quality of this relationship? What changes need to be made for your best life? How does one get help?
Ken discusses why nerds make the best boyfriends for gay men and other tips for gay men's dating.
Ken discusses how the classic "Big Five" personality traits of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism apply to understanding gay men.
Ken describes how using Problem-Solving Therapy can help reduce overwhelm/stress in the midst of COVID-19 and police brutality.
Ken gives tips on how gay open relationships can overcome jealousy, STI risk, privacy, and other challenges.
Ken discusses how to reach your life goals by making the most of your past, present, and future.
Ken describes 4 main emotional reactions to COVID-19, and the 5 "coping types" among gay men observed in clinical practice.
Ken discusses crisis situations gay men can face like discrimination, financial, health, and personal losses, and how to cope with them.
Ken discusses why gay White men and other LGBT should be supporting #BlackLivesMatter as a collaboration of minority groups to fight social injustice with activism.
Ken gives 12 tips on coping with life as a single gay man, based on case examples from clinical practice for being at your best.
Gay men's specialist therapist and sex therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses erectile dysfunction at three "stages" and how to cope with them, balancing both the medical and the psychological aspects of gay men's sex.
Ken Howard, LCSW discusses how to validate both positive and negative feelings during the COVID-19 crisis and find coping strategies that work for each of us.
Ken discusses how to cope with the mental health aspects of the current COVID-19 pandemic, inspired by a Broadway show song.
Ken gives tips on working from home during the COVID-19 crisis, with an emphasis on gay men and mental health considerations.
Feeling anxious? Ken gives tips on how to manage and anxiety, prevent it, and cope with it.
In the second part of the gay men and resilience discussion, Ken lists specific techniques that can help.
Ken gives tips on how gay men can cultivate resilience to face any crisis/challenge, by adapting certain cognitive/behavioral traits.
Ken gives tips for gay men for coping with the Coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic, and takes to task Republican leadership for bungling handling of COVID-19, just like their early mishandling of the AIDS crisis.
Gay men's specialist therapist and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, gives 10 ways gay men can cope with interpersonal conflicts that every life has.
Ken gives tips on how to improve your chances of finding a partner by avoiding the gay men's dating mistakes of emphasizing the wrong things, like his cash, connections, or c--k.
Ken gives tips on how to manage negative thoughts about yourself, the world, and your future, and how to use positive affirmations.
Ken discusses how to not only recover from crystal meth abuse, but how gay men can avoid being ensnared by it in the first place, through sex-positive individual and collective public health efforts.
Ken gives guidance on how single gay men can cope with loneliness and frustration on Valentine's Day.
Ken reviews how gay men can change their lives for the better, with the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Ken discusses Gottman's "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" for the risks of relationship breakup, and tips for avoiding them.
Ken gives tips on how birthdays are an especially poignant time for gay men, and relates them to self-esteem.
Ken describes how gay male couples who choose monogamy can have a hotter sex life without necessarily opening their relationship.
Ken gives tips on overcoming shyness and social anxiety in gay men, with practical tips on starting, continuing, and ending new conversations in social settings.
Gay men's specialist therapist and coach (27 years) Ken Howard, LCSW, teaches how to make and sustain desired life changes and meet goals in ways that go beyond just "resolutions".
Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist therapist/coach for over 27 years, gives perspectives on how even the non-religious the world over can enjoy the Christmas holiday season.
Ken Howard, LCSW, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the connection between the gym/fitness and mental health for gay men, based on inspirational fitness leaders.
Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses the role of Thanksgiving for gay men's family of origin, and family of choice.
Gay men's specialist therapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses ""Gay Men and Appearance Privilege: What It Is, What To Do About It"
Ken Howard, LCSW, guides gay male couples on how to achieve relationship satisfaction non-sexually ("the living room") and sexually ("the bedroom").
Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses how gay men recover from crystal meth dependence, and advocates for community education on innovative, sex-positive ways to prevent meth dependence.
| Ken discusses the "approach/avoidance" phenomenon with gay men reaching personal and professional goals. |
Ken gives tips for how gay men cope with a breakup of a platonic friendship and making new friends throughout life.
Ken discusses a research article by Leah Fessler, "The Strongest Predictor of Men's Well-Being" and how it relates to life/career coaching.
Ken gives tips for gay men's dating and relationships by using an analogy that refers to the status lights of a computer modem.
Ken gives information on gay men who are sexual abuse, incest, and rape survivors; common characteristics and coping to thrive.
Ken describes tips for "reclaiming your time" and reducing your stress in our "too busy" modern lives.
Ken describes how gay male and straight relationships differ, based on observations in over 27 years doing couples therapy with gay men.
Ken reviews the top six factors in breaking a monogamy agreement in gay male relationships, and what the "fix" for each one is.
Ken gives 12 tips, as an older gay man, to younger gay men, on how to improve quality of life at any age.
Ken gives a list of tips on why having a f--- buddy or friend with benefits can be an important resource for gay men.
Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, gives tips on how gay men can cope with erectile dysfunction (ED).
Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay psychotherapist specializing in gay men for 27 years, gives tips for when there is relationship conflict because one partner feels his partner isn't contributing equally to the relationship.
Ken Howard, LCSW, a gay men's specialist therapist for over 27 years, and sex therapist, gives tips for gay men on how to overcome a fear of topping.
Ken Howard, LCSW, gives tips on how to overcome the 5 most common fears gay men report about bottoming heard in his psychotherapy practice at GayTherapyLA.
Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, discusses the phenomenon of gay men and "ghosting", suddenly stopping communication for seemingly no reason.
Ken's associate clinician at Gay Therapy LA, Matthew Allen, MA, APCC, discusses gay men's relationship with social media apps and how to turn stress into success.
Gay therapist specialist Ken Howard, LCSW, founder and director of Gay Therapy LA, interviews gay therapist Brandon Malde-Zoradi, MA, AMFT, APCC, Associate Clinician at Gay Therapy LA, on religious abuse of gay men and how therapy can help survivors heal and thrive.
Ken lists the 6 most common reasons gay men cheat in monogamous relationships, and offers a "fix" for each one.
Gay men's specialist therapist, Ken Howard, LCSW, gives four strategies for gay men struggling with depression to get help and relief.