The Forgotten Podcast: Recent Episodes
The Forgotten Initiative
Whether you are a part of the foster care community, passionate about serving or simply interested in learning more, we are here for you!
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami Kaeb sits down with trauma consultant Trent Taylor from Watch Me Rise to tackle a critical and pervasive issue facing youth today: navigating tech and pornography. Rejoining the show after previously sharing his redemptive foster care story on Episode 132, Trent brings his expertise as a TBRI practitioner, life coach, and mental health coach to examine why children—especially those who have experienced early childhood trauma—are uniquely vulnerable to digital addictions and maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Trent shares his own powerful, personal journey, including early exposure to pornography beginning at age two as part of a grooming process, and explains the neurochemical impact of tech-driven dopamine floods on the brain. He breaks down why trauma survivors with underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes and insecure attachments often seek out pornography for a false sense of control, an instant escape from pain, or a substitute for genuine connection. Through the story of his own adoptive parents' calm, non-judgmental response when his struggle was discovered, Trent illustrates how separating behavior from a child's identity can dismantle shame, rebuild trust, and lay the groundwork for long-term recovery.
The conversation offers actionable strategies for parents looking to protect their homes without resorting to shame-based or punitive measures. Trent emphasizes that while tech guardrails, filters, and house rules—like charging phones in common areas—are necessary safety nets, lasting freedom requires heart-level healing, building self-worth, and fostering strong attachments. He encourages caregivers to keep conversations open, model healthy digital boundaries themselves, and lead with humility, reminding families that healing is a messy, collaborative journey rooted in God's grace.
About the Guest
Trent Taylor serves as a trauma consultant, TBRI practitioner, life coach, board-certified master mental health coach, mentor, educational therapist, and parent trainer with Watch Me Rise, a North Carolina ministry focused on educating and supporting families on the impact of trauma. Having walked through early childhood trauma, foster care, adoption, and early pornography exposure, Trent now uses his personal journey and professional expertise to guide youth and families toward freedom, heart-level healing, and healthy digital boundaries.
In This Episode
- The neurochemical mechanisms behind pornography addiction and why trauma survivors with underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes use tech as a maladaptive coping tool.
- Trent's personal story of early pornography exposure and how his adoptive parents responded with non-judgmental grace to dismantle shame and rebuild trust.
- Practical strategies for establishing healthy household tech boundaries, such as common-area charging stations, phone-free zones, and modeling screen habits.
- Why digital filters and guardrails serve as necessary safety nets but cannot replace heart-level emotional healing, self-worth, and gospel-centered hope.
Resources + Links
- Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
- Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
- Finding Hope After Experiencing Trauma (Ep. 132 w/ Trent Taylor) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-132-finding-hope-after-experiencing-trauma/id1106738239?i=1000540409332
- Watch Me Rise Resources - https://www.watchmerise.shop/collections/watch-me-rise-resources
- Watch Me Rise Training Sign-Up - https://www.watchmerise919.org/training-sign-up
- Bark Phone - https://www.bark.us/learn/bark-phone-ps/?utm_source=aw&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=kids-phone-branded-google&utm_content=147666934708&utm_term=kwd-10252672&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17664435801&gclid=CjwKCAjwrNrQBhBjEiwAoR4VOw1I48EYLA935CubznvC9amSWpAEUXSC6rVbQM9pCBaN-efgx0qz8hoC0G4QAvD_BwE
- Covenant Eyes Victory - https://www.covenanteyes.com/victory/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_campaign=brand_covenant_eyes&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=407188357&gbraid=0AAAAADSStEdE2FJHzTtIRRX9WTbgrRcQU&gclid=CjwKCAjwrNrQBhBjEiwAoR4VOyMMngBZurcMQV4MCamXE8Inp4wFtKRwsPkpgnpTm10gzmfnjNAIYxoC1yAQAvD_BwE
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Vania Ferreira to address a sensitive and profoundly challenging topic that foster and adoptive families occasionally face but rarely discuss: what to do when your child hurts another child. Vania opens up about her family's lived experiences with severe behavioral challenges, trauma-induced chaos, and navigating the heartbreaking revelation of child-on-child sexual abuse.
Vania shares the raw realities of her family's journey, which began under-prepared as an unexpected kinship emergency placement in late 2013. She details the intense initial year of dealing with extreme anger, threats, and violence from children who had been exposed to heavy domestic abuse. Just as their home was transitioning into a season of calm and trust, the family faced their ultimate nightmare when their child disclosed experiencing sexual abuse and vocalized an active intent to hurt other children. Vania openly describes the overwhelming whirlwind that followed, including police reports, hospital evaluations, state investigations, and a complete lack of public inpatient resources.
Throughout the conversation, Vania details how this crisis forced her family into deep isolation, unable to safely participate in church or community events. She addresses the painful legal and emotional crossroads her family endured, caught between threats of child abandonment and child endangerment from the state. Ultimately, the episode highlights the profound spiritual turning point where the Lord challenged Vania to move past natural anger and hatred, choosing to extend the unconditional love and forgiveness of Christ to a child acting out in brokenness.
This episode offers critical, life-saving guidance on body safety and boundary rules for young children. Vania provides invaluable advice on teaching accurate body terminology without shame, defining the strict line between secrets and surprises, and establishing safe words. It stands as a vital resource and a message of redemption, reminding caregivers that they are not alone and that true healing is possible through the strength and identity found in Christ.
About the Guest
Vania Ferreira has been an active part of the foster and adoption community alongside her husband, Rob, since 2013. She is a mother to many, including four children whom they have adopted. Having walked through unexpected kinship placements and navigating complex trauma within her home, Vania is dedicated to breaking the silence surrounding child-on-child abuse by offering families practical boundary education and gospel-centered hope.
In This Episode
- The unique vulnerabilities of entering kinship care through emergency guardianship without traditional foster parent training.
- Managing extreme childhood trauma behaviors, threats of violence, and a desire for chaos in the home.
- Navigating the intense aftermath of a child's sexual abuse disclosure, including medical evaluations and state agency investigations.
- The severe isolation families face when dealing with behavioral safety concerns that prevent them from accessing church or local community groups.
- Facing systemic gaps, including the total lack of inpatient services for young children and a state system that leaves parents trapped between child abandonment and endangerment charges.
- The challenging spiritual calling to protect biological children through separation while continuing to love, forgive, and advocate for a child who has caused harm.
- Practical body safety guidelines for parents, including teaching correct anatomy terms, establishing household boundary rules, and practicing situational exits.
- Redefining the difference between dangerous "secrets" and safe "surprises" to equip vulnerable children with a protective voice.
- Creating a family culture centered on Ephesians 6, daily scriptural anchoring, and trusting in the Lord's strength over your own.
Resources + Links
- Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
- Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Candace Smouse, a TFI advocate from Spokane, Washington, who is a foster, adoptive, and birth mom to six kids. Fostering as a family for five years, Candace shares her journey of opening her home to children with special needs and navigating the unique joys and demands of raising her now-adopted son who has autism. She explores the common fears foster parents face when considering a special needs placement and offers insight on moving forward through the unknown with faith and expectation.
Candace candidly details the realities of bringing her son home just before his fourth birthday as his fourth placement in a short span of time. She describes the initial challenges of caring for a child who was completely nonverbal, not potty trained, and struggling with behavior and severe dietary restrictions. Through her family's story, she highlights the exhausting early months, the complex dynamics and feelings of parental guilt that can surface with biological siblings, and the turning point of finding the right in-home therapeutic support.
The conversation also breaks down the different levels of autism to help listeners better understand the wide spectrum of care children may require. Candace shares practical advice on how to become a "squeaky wheel" and fiercely advocate within the school system, utilizing resources like Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) and special education accommodations.
Ultimately, this episode provides deep encouragement for any caregiver feeling isolated or overwhelmed in the thick of special needs parenting. Candace points listeners toward a profound hope rooted in the Lord, reminding foster and adoptive families that they are never truly alone and that stepping into the hard places can expand a family's world with unexpected blessings, deeper empathy, and unconditional love.
About the Guest
Candace Smouse is a TFI advocate based in Spokane, Washington. She has been married for 18 years and is a mother to six children through birth, foster care, and adoption. With five years of active fostering experience, Candace is deeply passionate about serving the foster care community, supporting families, and sharing the lessons she has learned through years of dedicated care for her adopted son with autism.
In This Episode
- An introduction to Candace's background and how a recurring dream prepped her heart to accept a special needs placement.
- The realities of navigating the foster care licensing system and handling the emotional weight of saying no to difficult placements.
- A look into the early days with her son Anthony, including the challenge of being his fourth placement in less than six months.
- Understanding the three levels of autism, ranging from high-functioning traits to intense, around-the-clock physical care needs.
- Navigating the hidden challenges of special needs parenting, such as public outbursts, sibling jealousy, and the pressure of public judgment.
- Learning to advocate in the school system by utilizing therapeutic partners, tracking data, and calling IEP meetings.
- How special needs parenting expands a family's perspective, fostering deep empathy, awareness, and immediate acceptance within biological children.
- A message of hope and perseverance for caregivers enduring seasons of parenting exhaustion and spiritual despair.
Resources + Links
- Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
- Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
- Full Spectrum Parent by Christian Parenting (podcast) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/full-spectrum-parent-christian-autism-support-special/id1589016732
- The Warner Boys by Ana and Curt Warner (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40552513-the-warner-boys
- Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm (book) - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/163659.Ten_Things_Every_Child_with_Autism_Wishes_You_Knew
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Melissa Murphy and Chandler Edge from Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies to discuss Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). As occupational therapy professionals, they share how this frequently undiagnosed condition impacts children in foster care and the families who love them.
Melissa and Chandler break down how the central nervous system controls our daily experiences and what happens when a child's sensory system is out of balance due to genetics, prenatal care, birth history, or early childhood trauma. They explore how sensory dysregulation is often misinterpreted as defiance or hyperactivity, offering practical guidance to help caregivers distinguish between a sensory meltdown and goal-directed behavior. Learn how to implement actionable tools like sensory diets, heavy work, and calming spaces to support your child today.
About the Guests * Melissa Murphy is an occupational therapist, owner of Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies, and a dedicated advocate for complex medical diagnoses and community inclusion. * Chandler Edge is an occupational therapist assistant and partner at Beyond Measure Pediatric Therapies, working alongside Melissa to support families navigating daily functional challenges.
In This Episode * Introduction to sensory processing disorder and the central nervous system. * Why sensory processing challenges are highly prevalent within the foster care community. * Root causes of sensory dysregulation: genetics, prenatal care, and early life trauma. * The three patterns: sensory seeking, sensory over-responsivity, and sensory under-responsivity. * How to distinguish between a true sensory meltdown and standard behavioral tantrums. * Practical home tools: sensory diets, heavy work activities, and weighted blankets. * Setting up calm corners and advocating for inclusive spaces in churches and classrooms. * The importance of parental patience, self-compassion, and trusting your gut instincts.
Resources + Links * Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/ * Follow TFI on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
From The Forgotten Initiative comes a brand-new series created specifically for the Foster Care Caseworker. At The Forgotten Initiative, we've always believed that you shouldn't have to carry the weight of this calling alone. For years, The Forgotten Podcast has been a place for our whole community to gather—but we know that those of you on the front lines carry a unique kind of weight.
That's why we've created something just for you. Hosted by Jami Kaeb and Jamie Finn, In Case You Forget is a space to breathe, to process the things that follow you home, and to remember the "why" behind your "yes." The weight of child welfare work doesn't stay at the office. It follows you home, fills the quiet hours of the night, and often leaves you feeling scattered, guilty, or numb. If you are a foster care caseworker, you know the reality of carrying a heavy caseload while managing the emotional toll of decisions often beyond your control.
In Case You Forget is a 12-part series offering faith-based encouragement and honest stories from the field to help you navigate the spiritual and emotional realities of your specific calling. Whether you are walking into a difficult court hearing, responding to a late-night crisis call, or quietly wondering how much longer you can keep showing up, this podcast is here to remind you that you aren't alone. Our mission remains the same: to provide a steady source of hope and practical guidance so you can stay in this calling long-term without losing your faith, your family, or yourself.
The First Five Episodes Available Now:
Episode 1: Wondering If Your Work Matters (w/Austin Ludwig)
Spotify or Apple
Episode 2: Noticing Your Attachment Style At Work (w/Kimberly Glaudy)
Spotify or Apple
Episode 3: Walking Your Story Alongside Theirs (w/Mia Arrington)
Spotify or Apple
Episode 4: Learning From Your Anxiety (w/Blair Linne)
Spotify or Apple
Episode 5: Managing Your Hard Days (w/Blake Boyer)
Spotify or Apple
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb sits down with Jonathan Brush, CEO of Unbound and a foster and adoptive dad of eight, to discuss how to help young adults—especially those not pursuing a college degree—successfully transition into adulthood and thrive. The conversation addresses the unique challenges facing children from the foster care community, such as trauma and learning gaps, by focusing on resilience, practical career opportunities in a questions-based economy, and the necessity of high expectations paired with endless patience. Jonathan reframes success as "thriving" and offers guidance on understanding the "creation of value" in the workplace and the irreplaceable power of community.
About the Guest
Jonathan Brush is the President and CEO of Unbound. As a first-generation homeschool graduate and a foster and adoptive dad of eight, he is passionate about preparing young adults for life and has spoken on the subject for over a decade.
In This Episode
- Defining success as "thriving" (living a meaningful, important life) rather than fame, fortune, or power.
- Exploring non-college career options in business (marketing, sales, technology/AI) and the trades (welding, plumbing, electrician).
- The shift from an "answers-based" paradigm to a "questions-based" paradigm in the modern job market, emphasizing the ability to quickly and effectively master complicated information (QE MCI).
- Why the inherent resilience and survival skills of foster children are valuable assets in the current market.
- Setting the "high expectation" that young people can thrive, combined with "infinite patience" to help them achieve it.
- Understanding work as the "creation of value" by showing up, working hard, treating others well, and "thinking like an owner".
- How to cultivate natural curiosity and the ability to ask better questions by looking for "the game being played underneath the game".
- The critical role of community in driving careers and the willingness to open your home despite imperfections.
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative
Learn more about what at TFI Advocate does
In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Jami sits down with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford, a Senior Fellow at Barna Group, to talk about the power of relationships, purpose, and tech-free spaces for improving kids' mental health. Dr. Shackelford shares insights from her recent Barna report, Gen Z, Mental Health and Wellbeing.
Dr. Shackelford discusses the six themes identified in her research for supporting Gen Z mental health, including the critical need for tech-free spaces and consistent rhythms for connection. She explains that the youth mental health crisis, marked by skyrocketing anxiety and depression, correlates with the rise of smartphone availability between 2010 and 2015. Throughout the conversation, she offers practical advice for parents on setting boundaries, such as removing phones from bedrooms and dinner tables, and modeling healthy technology use.
This conversation reflects on how to cultivate purpose and meaning in Gen Z, arguing that focusing on purpose—using one's gifts to serve others—is more fulfilling than chasing happiness. This discussion highlights that half of Gen Z Christians value seeing Christianity promote good in the world more than knowing it is true. She emphasizes that in-person church attendance is a major buffer against poor mental health outcomes like suicide and depression, encouraging families to prioritize being contributors at church and cultivating a culture of service at home.
This episode is an encouraging reminder that when parents and caregivers approach these changes with a humble vision and start with small, actionable steps, they can foster deep connection and meaningful purpose for their children.
About the Guest
Dr. Stephanie Shackelford is a Senior Fellow at Barna Group. She has researched and written for nationwide research studies covering topics such as Gen Z, mental health, purpose, calling, and discipleship. She and her husband live on the campus of Eagle Ranch, a ministry for Families in Crisis.
In This Episode
- What defines Gen Z (ages 9-27)
- The six practical ideas from the Gen Z, Mental Health and Wellbeing report
- How the rise of smartphones is correlated with increased youth anxiety and depression
- Creating tech-free spaces and the benefits of being bored and connecting with nature
- The meaning of "thick community" and "embodied experiences" to combat loneliness
- Inviting Gen Z into a narrative of purpose and redemption rather than happiness
- The protective role of in-person church attendance against poor mental health
- Cultivating a culture of service and calling at home and in the community
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative
Learn more about what at TFI Advocate does
Court is one of the most intimidating parts of the foster care journey—but you are not powerless in the process. Today, a Guardian ad Litem shares insight into how the court system works, how "best interest" decisions are made, and why your voice matters more than you may realize. Be encouraged: even when it feels confusing, your presence and partnership make a lasting impact.
On this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes Mary Perdue—wife of former Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue—to share her journey into foster care and her years as the First Lady of Georgia (2003–2011).
Mary shares how fostering newborns awaiting adoption in the late 1990s opened her eyes to the broader foster care system and inspired her to make foster care her primary initiative while in office. She describes the cultural stigma and lack of awareness surrounding the system, her focus on educating communities that there are many ways to help beyond becoming a foster parent, and efforts like Champions for Children that engage businesses, civic groups, and churches.
Additionally, Mary discusses her work in creating Georgia's Children's Cabinet to coordinate state agencies serving children. She reflects on lessons of obedience and calling while urging the church to take responsibility for supporting foster children, families, and caseworkers alike.
On this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, Host Jami Kaeb interviews Tony Mitchell, who entered foster care as a newborn, was adopted at age two into a loving but impoverished farm family, and grew up learning work ethic, faith, and integrity. Tony shares learning about his adoption around age 9–10, wrestling with identity and belonging while facing racial isolation and teenage rebellion, and later coming to faith in college after reading the New Testament. In his forties he located his birth mother to thank her for choosing not to terminate the pregnancy, and at 59 he was contacted by the son of his foster family, filling in the missing story of his early years and confirming he was deeply loved. Tony emphasizes gratitude, grounding identity in God, and encourages foster/adoptive parents to never give up, reminding adoptees that God can redeem painful stories for good.
Our guest, Missy Bell, is the Director of San Diego for Olive Crest, an organization dedicated to preventing child abuse by strengthening, equipping, and restoring children and families in crisis one life at a time. In this conversation with Jami, she brings wisdom and insight into common fears parents have when deciding to adopt a teen and how to overcome them.
In this episode host Jami Kaeb and Holly Gnuse sit down together to talk about all things Advocates.
What does it mean to be a TFI Advocate? They answer all of our frequently asked questions about the role including things like what's the time commitment, is training provided, and how do I start. Listen in as they share details about how TFI equips advocates just like you, all across the country to care for the vulnerable right where they live.
More information on becoming a TFI Advocate: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/become-a-tfi-advocate/
Set up a call to learn more: https://calendly.com/mellissa-foster-tfi/learn-more-you-don-t-have-to-foster-to-care?month=2026-01
Join host Jami for a powerful conversation with experienced foster parent and trauma-informed care expert, Tera Melber. Tera, the founder of Resound Trauma Education, brings her extensive background—including a master's degree in human services counseling and a commitment to integrating faith with the latest interpersonal neurobiology research—to the discussion. She shares her 20-year journey into foster care and adoption, highlighting the realization that parenting a child from early adversity requires a special set of skills and a Christian framework for care that wasn't always readily available.
Tera delves into the critical need for a trauma-informed approach to parenting and ministry, illustrating how Jesus himself modeled this connection-based care by avoiding shame and fostering safety, as seen in biblical accounts like the woman at the well and Zacchaeus. She also shifts the focus to the pivotal role of the church, encouraging congregations to move beyond rigid expectations. Instead, she advocates for trauma-aware environments—equipping volunteers with co-regulation tools, like "backpack teams"—to ensure foster and kinship families feel safety, connection, and belonging.
Ultimately, Tera's mission is to combine the research of trauma-informed care with the biblical teachings of Jesus, viewing this work not as a buzzword, but as essential "gospel work." She looks forward to witnessing the church step up to be a unique place of safety, connection, and hope to bring healing and generational change to families navigating the foster care journey. Links: Learn more at theforgotteninitiative.org More about guest Tera Melber https://www.facebook.com/p/Resound-Trauma-Education-LLC-61560422615470/
In this very special episode, our usual host, Jami Kaeb, is taking a turn in the guest seat. Stepping in to act as the host is our dear friend (and repeat guest) Jamie Finn!
The Forgotten Podcast is celebrating 10 years of creating content that serves, equips, and encourages those in the foster care community, as well as exalts the name of Jesus. To help commemorate this milestone, Jami will be the one answering questions and filling us in on some of the most impactful moments from the last 10 years as we look ahead to what's coming next.
In this episode, Jami shares key lessons she's learned through hosting the podcast, a little bit about how The Forgotten Initiative began, why it matters to hold both the darkness and the light in our stories, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jamie-finn-284/
My guest for this conversation didn't set out to have fourteen children in her home. But through every step of her journey, she boldly trusted in the Lord and kept stepping out in faith.
Beth van der Wel is not only a biological mom to three, but she is also an adoptive and foster parent to an additional 11 children. Throughout their nearly three decades of marriage, Beth and her husband, Robin, have opened their hearts and their home to however the Lord would lead, which would include welcoming entire sibling groups into their home all at once.
From an unexpected nudge toward adoption to watching God bring life and hope to children the world had given up on, Beth has seen firsthand that you don't have to have a perfect plan to be used by God. Beth recently joined the TFI Team as an Advocate in Marshall County, Alabama.
In this episode, Beth shares how she is living out her call to serve vulnerable children, the importance of making caseworkers feel seen and supported, how even 24 hours can have a profound impact on a child's life, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/beth-van-der-wel-283/
What should I do if I have a heart for the foster care community, but I can't open my home to foster right now?
We hear this question often. Sometimes it comes from individuals who have fostered before and are simply in a season where they need to pause. Other times we hear it from people who don't feel called to foster, but still have a deep passion to support vulnerable children and families. No matter which group you fall into, there are so many meaningful roles you can step into to make a difference.
Today, we want to highlight one such role—and a foster parent who stepped into this role when her home was at capacity.
We're honored to introduce you to one of our TFI Advocates, Hanna Thrower. Hanna is a dedicated TFI Advocate serving Butler County, Alabama. Her heart for foster care began at a young age, and since then Hanna and her husband, Caleb, have fostered over 20 children, welcomed one adopted child into their family, and are raising three biological children.
In this episode, Hanna shares about her foster care journey, how she got started as an Advocate and earned the trust of her local agency, advice she would give someone considering the role of a TFI Advocate, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/hanna-thrower-282/
It's no secret that the child welfare system can be frustrating for children, their biological families, and foster families alike. More often than not, agency workers are the people who have to carry the brunt of this frustration.
Yet, if we were to take a look behind the scenes, we would see individuals who care deeply about children and families and are doing their best to secure positive outcomes for the people they serve—but they are overworked, overwhelmed, and often trying to keep up with ever-changing policies.
My guest for this conversation is deeply familiar with nearly every part of the child welfare system, from investigations and licensing to prevention and support.
Abraham Choate has spent years serving children and families through the Washington Department of Children, Youth, and Families. He's also a licensed social worker who provides counseling part-time. Abe's story and perspective offer us a unique look into the realities of child welfare, helping us understand how we can better support and partner with our local workers.
In this episode, Abraham shares some of the inner workings on the agency side of child welfare, the stressful environment agency workers are thrust into, the importance of everyone having healthy boundaries, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/abraham-choate-281/
The child welfare system is far from perfect. However, numerous individuals, agency workers, and organizations like us are working faithfully to help support and uplift the children and families within that system.
Our guest today knows this system intimately, as he has worked within it for over 40 years.
Norm Suire worked first at Elgin Mental Health Center before transitioning to the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS). With a lifetime of experience in child welfare, Norm brings such wisdom and honesty about both the joys and challenges of this work. He is also a husband and father of three sons and a proud grandfather of five.
In this episode, Norm shares practical advice for the day-to-day life of a foster parent, insights into how agency and social workers are required to operate within the system, an encouraging perspective to adopt as we work with children and families, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/norm-suire-280/
Foster care has a way of changing how we see the world. It asks us to step into hard places, stay present, and let God reshape our perspective. For our latest guest, that’s meant gaining a richer perspective on biological parents, a deeper appreciation for the beauty and challenges of caring for children with disabilities, and so much more.
Crystal Paine and her husband have been foster parents to two precious children—one who was medically fragile and reunified with his biological mom, and one who was born premature with significant disabilities, whom they later adopted. Crystal is passionate about supporting biological parents, advocating for children with disabilities, and living out the Gospel through foster care and adoption.
In this episode, Crystal shares about leaning on our faith when we’re facing challenges that can be intimidating, how we can be intentional about offering dignity and grace to biological parents, some of the unique aspects of fostering a child with disabilities, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/crystal-paine-279/
“When trauma is our teacher, we are ill-equipped to live healthy lives in healthy environments. What we learn, we live.”
We know that trauma often accompanies children when they enter the child welfare system. Usually, we talk about the effects of trauma and how caregivers can respond with support. Today, we’re looking at trauma through the lens of personal history to understand how individuals can discover, address, and heal the trauma in their own stories.
Joining us to offer insights on “Story-Informed Trauma Therapy” (SITT), the method he created, is Byron Kehler. Byron is a Trauma Therapist with a private practice in Portland, Oregon. He’s here to help us understand the stories that lie behind hard behaviors and explore how we can respond with compassion, wisdom, and hope.
In this episode, you’ll hear how best to help children while keeping their stories in mind, the power of helping children who have endured trauma maintain a sense of control, why our pasts can have such a big influence on our patterns today, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/byron-kehler-278/
Whether it’s across the world or in all four corners of her home, my guest today has over two decades of experience in the foster care and adoptive community. Beth Guckenberger lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her husband, Todd. Together, they serve as the Co-Executive Directors of Back2Back Ministries, a nonprofit dedicated to providing comprehensive care to vulnerable children and families worldwide.
After graduating from Indiana University, the Guckenbergers moved to Monterrey, Mexico, where they lived for 15 years. Between biological, foster, and adopted children, they have raised eleven children. Today, Beth travels and speaks regularly at conferences, youth gatherings, and church services about “reckless faith.”
In this episode, you’ll hear the power of trusting God’s plan even when things feel overwhelming, strategies for maintaining a strong marriage in the midst of demanding family responsibilities, some of the hardships and joys that come with stepping into hard places, and much more!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/beth-guckenberger-277/
Adoption and foster care are often depicted in dramatic ways in the media.
Whether it’s an adult suddenly discovering the truth that they were adopted or a depiction of constant conflict between a child involved in the foster care system and their caregivers, media can easily give us a skewed perspective of what life is actually like for the real people navigating these situations.
That’s why it’s so important to listen to the real voices of children, families, and workers in the foster care community—not to chase sensational details, but to approach their stories with compassionate curiosity. When we do, we discover that each journey is unique, that many see their experiences as stories of strength rather than sorrow, and that every person’s life is far richer than a single chapter.
My guest for this conversation knows this firsthand. While adoption isn’t the defining feature of her daily identity, it has profoundly shaped her perspective.
Hope Watts was adopted through the foster care system as a young child. Today, she enjoys raising awareness about foster care and encouraging others with a message of quiet resilience.
In this episode, you’ll hear the importance of holding space for each other’s stories, some powerful encouragement for foster parents, how to meet people with compassion, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/hope-watts-276/
If you’re listening to this, chances are it was passion that first pulled you into your role in the foster care community—whether you’re a professional, a caregiver, an advocate, or a faithful supporter.
But here’s something you might not have realized yet: just because you started in one role doesn’t mean that’s where you’ll stay. As we grow and gain experience, our passions often deepen and shift—and one of the beautiful things about this work is discovering new ways to use your gifts to serve children and families in need.
My guest for this conversation knows this well! He has seen this work from nearly every angle. Thomas Dent has welcomed children into his home as an adoptive and former foster parent. He has also worked inside Mississippi’s child welfare system as their former Director of Faith Based and Volunteer Services and Foster Parent Liaison. He knows the challenges that come with this calling, but in the face of those battles, Thomas carries a deep, steady hope in Jesus—the Father of the fatherless.
In this episode, you’ll hear some of the challenges of working within a broken system, what a blessing a supportive community can be to vulnerable families, how your passion makes your work personal, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/thomas-dent-275/
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” – James 1:27 (ESV)
You’ve probably heard this verse if you’ve ever been to an adoption or foster care training, attended a conference that discussed child welfare, or even just sat through your fair share of sermons. The message of this verse couldn’t be clearer: God cares deeply about the most vulnerable, and we should too! My guests for this conversation know all about this calling and are here to talk about what it can look like in practice.
David and Julie Zimmer have been married for 15 years and are parents to four children together—three by birth and one through foster care. David is the Head of Production and Promotion at Sovereign Grace Music in Louisville, KY. Julie volunteers at BSide U 4 Life, a local pregnancy care center in downtown Louisville, where she supports vulnerable families by offering childcare to parents attending GED, parenting, and Bible classes. David and Julie are passionate about foster care and dedicated to standing in the gap for children and families in need.
In this episode, you’ll hear about the emotional challenges that come along with fostering, the importance of investing in your marriage, the necessity of acknowledging our limitations, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/david-julie-zimmer-274/
Content / Trigger Warning: This episode does contain mentions and descriptions of abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse. If any of this may be triggering for you, we recommend you either listen carefully, listen with someone else, or you may even consider skipping this episode.
Unfortunately, so many children who enter foster care have experienced some terrible things in their lives. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported that in 2022, children entered foster care for the following reasons:
- 62% due to neglect
- 33% due to drug abuse
- 13% due to physical abuse
- 6% due to alcohol abuse
- 4% due to sexual abuse
These are just a few of the circumstances that cause removal, and they total to over 100% because these challenges are not mutually exclusive.
My guest for this conversation knows this all too well. Destini McAlister experienced neglect and abandonment while she was still an infant. She would then go on to experience sexual abuse and rejection throughout her foster care journey.
Although Destini’s journey was filled with hardship, her story is one of hope.
In this episode, you’ll hear how God was guiding Destini’s steps throughout her journey, the importance of processing the past, how hope can be found even in the darkest of stories, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/destini-mcalister-273/
The child welfare system can be confusing and complex. Families are often expected to navigate administrative systems, the criminal justice system, the legal system, and the social system—all at the same time and with no prior instruction.
Our guest today knows the child welfare system inside and out—and she’s passionate about helping families navigate it with hope and clarity. She also understands that its challenges don’t impact everyone equally. Her work focuses on uncovering why families of color often face worse outcomes and unpacking the systemic issues behind those disparities.
Shanelle Dupree is a former child welfare administrator who has practiced child welfare law. She is currently the executive director of Racial Equity Collaborative, a nonprofit focused on advancing racial equity for families and communities through collaborative action.
In this episode, Shanelle shares the correlation between child welfare outcomes and race, why it’s crucial for parents to have the uncomfortable conversations about race with their foster or adoptive children, how to advocate for your child when they encounter racial discrimination, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/shanelle-dupree-272/
Note: In this episode, Jami talks about her pregnancy—but don’t worry, you didn’t miss another baby announcement! If you’re part of our TFI family, you know her sweet little one has already arrived. This episode was recorded back in January!
Sometimes, it can feel like the conversation within the foster care community is predominantly shaped by female voices. While it’s wonderful to have such a strong female perspective in this space, it can be a challenge for men to find resources that speak to their unique experiences.
This is the heartbeat behind the Foster Fathers podcast. Hosts Chris Easley and Kyle Seick are striving to create a community where men can learn and grow from one another within the context of foster care.
Chris and Kyle met during virtual foster care training classes in Boise, Idaho. They quickly bonded over shared humor and mutual support as they embarked on their foster care journeys. Together they offer valuable advice, encouragement, and connection to other foster and adoptive fathers who are navigating the joys and struggles that come with this calling.
In this episode, you’ll hear what inspired Chris and Kyle to become foster fathers, an honest take on some of the challenges of foster care and adoption, common misconceptions about the men and women who become foster parents, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/foster-fathers-271/
There are many requirements that a biological parent must meet in order to reunify with their children. While these requirements are necessary to ensure that children are being reunited with parents who can provide a safe and stable environment, many parents struggle to overcome the circumstances that led to their children being placed in foster care in the first place.
In the state of Illinois, the reunification rate was just 20% in 2021. Just as children and foster parents need a supportive community, biological parents working toward reunification need a strong, steady network around them too.
One such parent is Jacob Jackson. After a car accident, Jacob found himself addicted to prescription drugs, which led him into a tumultuous season of life. When he was at the end of his rope, Jacob attempted to take his own life. With nowhere else to turn, he entered the Louisiana Adult & Teen Challenge and by the grace of God found a connection with a local church.
It was during this time that Jacob learned his children had entered foster care. Determined to reunite with them, he threw himself into recovery, working tirelessly to complete the program and meet every requirement needed to regain full custody.
In this episode, you’ll hear the obstacles Jacob had to overcome, the ways that anyone can fall into difficult circumstances, how the support of the local church played a vital role in reunification, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jacob-jackson-270/
Foster care is both rewarding and challenging. It’s happy at times and sad at others; it brings hard days as well as beautiful moments. If you are in the foster care community, you’ve likely seen (or experienced) this firsthand.
But what do we do when we come to the end of ourselves? How do we respond when we feel called to open our homes again to those in need—yet find ourselves unsure if our hearts are ready to face the joys and the pain that foster care can bring?
Our guest for this episode knows this tension well. Sarah Hott’s journey through fostering, adopting, and parenting has taught her profound lessons about faith, community, and the power of love.
Sarah and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for over six years. They currently have five children in their home—three by adoption from foster care, one biological, and one foster child. Sarah believes that few things draw you to the heart of Jesus like opening your home and heart to children in need and their families.
In this episode, you’ll hear more of Sarah’s personal journey as she shifted from foster parent to adoptive mom, her thoughts on the power and necessity of a supportive community, the ways God showed up when she was at her maximum capacity, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-hott-269/
Substance use is a major factor in foster care cases; in 2017 alone, more than half of the children who entered care under age 5 did so because of parental drug use. Addiction is an issue that runs parallel to the foster care community, and it’s a struggle that agency workers and foster parents often witness firsthand in the lives of the families they serve.
For those of us who have never battled with addiction, it can be easy to think we have nothing in common with parents whose substance use results in their children being removed from their care. However, my guest today is here to help us see these people through a new lens—one that emphasizes compassion, understanding, and shared humanity.
Christina Dent is the Founder and Vice President of Mission at End It For Good, a nonprofit that invites people to support approaches to drug addiction that prioritize life, preserve families, and promote public safety. As an adoptive mom and former foster mom, Christina’s experiences in foster care ignited a passion in her for finding better solutions for addiction.
In this episode, she shares the realities of addiction and drug use, how drug addiction intersects with foster care, why we should reframe the way we think and speak about those struggling with addiction, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/christina-dent-268/
Trigger Warning: We want to let our listeners know that this episode includes mentions of physical abuse. If you are sensitive to this topic, we recommend you listen with caution.
Trauma is one of the hardest challenges to navigate in life. Whether it’s impacting you or someone you love, it can be easy to wish that trauma could be erased in an instant. But our latest guest’s powerful story reminds us that healing doesn’t happen with the snap of a finger. It takes the steady presence of others, the patience to water seeds we can’t yet see growing, and the courage to keep seeking God—even in the darkest moments.
After fifteen years of abuse and a childhood riddled with trauma, Austin Ludwig ended up in the foster care system until he aged out at 18. As he wrestled with the broken pieces of his past, he encountered the transformational love of Jesus and the opportunity for healing and restoration through the Gospel.
Today, Austin is a musical artist, writer and speaker who serves on staff with the WinShape Foundation.
In this episode, he shares about the brokenness in his childhood as well as the hidden beauty, why every person has an opportunity to respond to the trauma they have experienced, encouragement for foster parents who may currently have a tumultuous relationship with a child in their care, and much more!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/austin-ludwig-267/
The child welfare system is not perfect. Not only is it subject to the types of challenges all government programs can face—such as a lack of funding, policy gaps, and inefficiencies—it’s also very overloaded. As a result, many biological parents don’t receive the best resources to help them navigate their circumstances, and often, they are confused about how to access the resources that are available.
Here at The Forgotten Initiative, we’re committed to advocating for the best interests of children and families while ensuring that the laws and procedures designed to protect them are upheld. This is exactly what Esther Sherrard, a dedicated private consultant, works to do every day!
Esther helps agencies, courts, and faith communities improve child welfare outcomes by preserving, restoring, and growing families. She was a licensed foster parent for older youth and has spent 10 years with the Federal Child and Family Services Review team. Esther is determined to see more children and families involved in the child welfare system experience positive outcomes.
In this episode, Esther shares some of the challenges biological parents face when trying to navigate the system, the importance of the local church standing in the gap to support children and families in foster care, why we should seek to show true compassion to biological parents, and much more.
This conversation was grounding and inspiring as we seek to fulfill God’s calling to promote justice and support families.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/esther-sherrard-266/
Like so many families, Eric and Diana Powell entered into adoption with the best intentions. After their first international adoption from Thailand, they quickly started the paperwork for their second, knowing that the process is often long and fraught with delays.
What they couldn’t know is that the next few years of their adoption journey would include physical aggression, episodes of emotional dysregulation, marriage tension, a phenomenon known as “blocked care”, and an overwhelming sense of isolation. During this challenging period, they often didn’t know where to turn next or what to do to help their family heal and connect.
Blocked care is a response that can occur when a person rejects your attempts to provide for them, no matter how loving or compassionate those attempts may be. Over time, this pattern can lead to feelings of rejection, hostility, anxiety, and even compassion fatigue in the caregiver.
Eric and Diana’s story has been one of incredible challenges, but it is also one of tremendous growth. Today, the Powells are passionate about being a listening ear for others on their fostering or adoption journey.
In this episode, they explain how they learned what blocked care is and how to navigate it, the importance of finding a supportive community as a foster or adoptive parent, where to find hope when reality doesn’t match your expectations, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/eric-diana-powell-265/
Foster care caseworkers often feel forgotten, isolated, and alone. From managing stressful workloads to coping with secondary trauma and sometimes facing frustration from families in crisis, it’s not hard to understand why caseworker turnover is so high. But here at The Forgotten Initiative, we believe well-supported caseworkers will more effectively serve children, leading to better outcomes for everyone.
Our guest for this episode is here to give us an inside look at the kinds of struggles caseworkers may be experiencing in your community and how both individuals and churches can come together to give these professionals a network of support.
Brittni Hodges is currently a social worker at Delavan Schools in the same community where she grew up. However, she began her career as a foster care caseworker in Central Illinois.
During her time in this role, Brittni worked tirelessly to support children, biological families, and foster families within the complex demands of the foster care system. Despite heavy caseloads, limited resources, and challenging situations that took a toll on her emotional and physical well-being, her time as a caseworker profoundly shaped her understanding of compassion, resilience, and Christ’s love for all His children.
In this episode, Brittni helps us understand some of the most challenging parts of a caseworker’s role, how big of an impact community support can have on caseworkers, what kinds of resources can make a meaningful difference for local agencies, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/brittni-hodges-264/
How much do you know about the foster care community where you live? Many people—both individuals and organizations like churches—want to support their vulnerable neighbors. But few are aware of the many practical ways they can help the children, biological families, foster families, and agency workers who make up their local foster care communities.
When our latest guest discovered the overwhelming needs of her local foster care community, she was passionate about getting her local church involved. But when she first set out to make this a reality, her mission turned out to be harder than expected. Her experience is a common one that’s happening all over America. The truth is, many people care, but they don’t always know how to help.
April Hobbs is a passionate champion for foster care as well as a devoted wife and mother. She and husband, Derrick, became foster parents seven years ago and they find tremendous purpose and joy in serving vulnerable families.
When April wanted to see her local foster care agency supported by the church, she joined our team of TFI Advocates and started her own ministry in Murray County, GA. It’s through this partnership that she was able to break through the barriers and get the church involved in meeting the needs of her local agency workers and the families they serve.
In this episode, April shares powerful words about how God calls us to act, what factors often prevent Christians from doing more to serve vulnerable families, the importance of sharing the difficult parts of the fostering journey, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/april-hobbs-263/
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) can affect children from any background, but those in foster care are especially vulnerable. There are ten main types of ACEs that have been identified—ranging from abuse to neglect to household dysfunction. All of them have the potential to negatively impact future outcomes for a child.
Our latest guest, Angela Paganelli, is a former foster youth who experienced all ten ACEs. After the tragic loss of her mother at the age of 13, Angela spent her teenage years in foster care and institutional settings. These formative experiences shaped her passion for supporting children in care, leading her to start her own foster care ministry.
Together with her husband, Rick, Angela has raised three biological children, fostered over 20 children, and adopted four. As a TBRI practitioner, Angela leverages her experience to advocate for trauma-informed care in the foster care system.
In this episode, Angela shares explains what ACEs are and what their long-term impacts can look like, why it’s crucial to help children in the foster care system feel seen, the power “do-overs” can have in one’s healing process, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/angela-paganelli-262/
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, 13.5% of U.S. households were food insecure at some time during 2023. Unfortunately, food-related trauma is a common challenge for many children who have entered the foster care system. Whether it’s an aversion to a particular type of food, fear that there won’t be enough food, or a tendency to overeat and hoard food, there are many behaviors a child may exhibit as a result of their past experiences. When these behaviors occur, it’s important to meet them with curiosity and kindness.
Madison Tyler, a foster and adoptive parent who has been a pediatric dietitian for 13 years, is here to help us understand more about a child’s relationship with food.
Madison and her husband became foster parents in 2017. Over the years, they have welcomed and witnessed reunification for several children. Today, Madison integrates her professional expertise with her personal experience to help families navigate food challenges, build trust, and foster connection around the table.
In this episode, you’ll hear strategies you can use to respond to some of the most common challenges foster and adoptive parents encounter around food, what a Harvard study says is the single most important factor in determining a person’s health and longevity, practical tips for helping your child develop a positive relationship with food, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/madison-tyler-261/
For our very first episode of 2025, we’re bringing you another great conversation that sheds light on the real people of the foster care community.
In this episode, we are talking to Keristein Fox. Today, she’s a happily married stay-at-home mom who loves watching her three children grow and thrive. But Keristein’s story wasn’t always this joyful. She endured many dark seasons to reach where she is now.
For many years, she struggled with addiction, ultimately encountering the foster care system firsthand when her daughter was placed in kinship care. At first, Keristein despised the system. But after overcoming her addiction, she sees it in a different light. In this episode, you’ll hear about how addiction can push people toward actions they regret, the crucial role kinship care can play in the foster care system, how Jesus offers hope and healing in even the most dire of circumstances, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/keristein-fox-260/
Trigger Warning: We want to let our listeners know that this episode includes mentions of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and thoughts of suicide. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, we recommend you listen with caution.
From the day she entered the world, Lucy Baker felt as though she didn’t have a home. Born inside of a jail to a mother in crisis, she was immediately placed into foster care and would end up having 37 different homes in her lifetime. Because of the extensive trauma she endured growing up, Lucy always struggled to feel as though she belonged. But Lucy knows that her past doesn't define her future—and she's found comfort in knowing that God always has a purpose for her life.
Lucy is a devoted Christ-follower, author, and speaker. Her formative years were tumultuous due to a complex family situation and challenging circumstances in foster care, but despite all the adversity she's faced, Lucy has reclaimed her story. Today, she's inspiring others to embrace the life-changing hope and healing only Jesus can bring.
In this episode, you’ll hear from Lucy about how an unpredictable childhood can warp a child’s worldview and sense of belonging, some of the struggles children in foster care often face but may not verbalize, how Jesus is our true home and source of stability, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lucy-baker-259/
When a child enters our home, there are many factors we consider to ensure their comfort and safety. However, one important aspect of a child’s well-being can often be overlooked—their hair care. This is especially true if the child comes from a different racial background, where hair care needs may differ significantly.
Hair is an important part of African American culture and identity, but white foster parents sometimes struggle to understand how to care for types and textures of hair that are unlike their own. And for some children, caring for their hair can be emotionally or physically painful if it has been neglected for a long time.
Nurturing a child’s hair is an essential part of transracial fostering or adoption, and that's why I'm so grateful our latest guest was able to join us.
After earning a master’s degree in social work, Authrine T.K. Singleton began a career in child welfare. Through her work, she saw the gap in support for African American children placed in foster and adoptive homes. In 2009, she opened Master’s Touch Salon to be a resource and support to these families.
In this episode, you’ll hear common mistakes to avoid when caring for the hair of an African American child, practical tips for creating an effective hair and skin care routine tailored to the child’s needs, why proper care and styling of hair is a crucial bonding experience, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/authrine-singleton-258/
It’s natural to wonder who your birth parents are. In fact, this is a question that many foster and adoptive children wrestle with.
For children, teens, and even adults who have never known their biological parents, curiosity about their identity often goes hand in hand with a fear of the unknown. And for foster and adoptive parents, broaching this topic can bring up worries around the answers your child may find, and how what they uncover could heal or hurt them.
My guests today have navigated these questions and concerns from the perspectives of an adoptive child, adoptive parent, and birth mom. Kyle Bullock was adopted as a baby by Ellyn Bullock and her husband. As a teen, he began to have questions about his birth mom and set out to find her. After a search on MySpace, he found Michelle Hubble and discovered answers about his past. What followed was a long and rich relationship with both his birth mom and adoptive parents.
In this episode, our guests dive into the importance of discovering your identity, the challenges of interracial adoption, advice for people who may want to seek out their birth parents but feel nervous, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kyle-bullock-257/
Over the summer, Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot hit theaters across the country. This film tells the powerful true story of Donna and Bishop Martin as they ignited a fire in the hearts of their rural church to embrace children in foster care who needed a home.
Their East Texas community stepped up to do the impossible and adopt 77 children out of foster care. There were many challenges along the way, but through the grace of God and the strength of their conviction, they came together and transformed lives. Their story is a testament to the call for Christians to care for orphans and ensure every child knows the love and security of a family. I am so thrilled to have gotten the chance to sit down and chat with Donna and Bishop—the pair who led this inspiring movement.
In this episode, you’ll hear the circumstances that led Bishop and Donna to serve the foster care community, why their action inspired a community to do the same, how God has given a specific charge to the church to help children in need, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/bishop-donna-martin-256/
When you decide to become a foster parent, you are asked a wide range of questions about what kind of placements you are willing to accept. What ages will you take? What ages won’t you take? Are there any special needs you will or won’t be able to accommodate? What about sibling groups?
Even when your agency is doing their best to reach out to you about children that fit your criteria, the reality is that sometimes all of the information about a child is simply not known. They may not know the specific behaviors a child presents, every piece of their history, or additional challenges that you may face. There are times where, despite everyone’s best intentions, a placement needs to be disrupted, which can be a decision filled with guilt, shame, and deep heartache.
My guest today has firsthand experience navigating a placement disruption and all the emotions that come along with it. Kamrie Smith is a mom to three biological children and a current foster mom to one. In total, she and her husband have fostered 21 children over the years. She is a founding committee member of Foster Montana, an organization that provides support to children entering foster care and the families who say “yes” to them.
In this episode, you’ll hear why it can be challenging to navigate a placement that feels like it isn’t going well, how to navigate the emotional aftermath of a disruption, how to make peace with the difficult decision of accepting or denying a potential placement, and more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kamrie-smith-255/
It’s that time of year again! As you may know, we open applications to become a TFI Advocate only a couple times each year, and this November is one of those opportunities. If you’re considering applying, today’s episode is the perfect chance to learn more about what becoming a TFI Advocate journey really looks like.
That’s because we have the special treat of hearing from one of our most recently launched Advocates, Justin Meehan.
Justin and his wife have been foster parents for the last three years. Currently, they have three biological children and a soon-to-be adopted son. Justin is a newly launched TFI Advocate in Rochester, NH, where he is bridging the gap between his church and the local state foster care agency.
In this episode, you’ll hear what kind of support and community TFI Advocates receive, how seeing the struggles caseworkers are facing firsthand opened Justin’s eyes to their unmet needs, why answering just one question for your local church can help them get involved in foster care, and so much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/justin-meehan-254/
To make a positive impact on the foster care community, we need action on both a personal and systemic level. We need community members who are willing to step up and support individuals directly, but we also need leaders capable of creating policies that address real challenges.
My guest for this episode, Lynn Johnson, is someone who has stepped into both of these roles. Lynn served as Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services, which is a Senate-confirmed appointment where she led over 60 programs designed to make a real impact on lives all across the country. It was in this position that she created the ALL IN Foster Care and Adoption Challenge as a national call for people at all levels of government, as well as community members, to commit to being ALL IN for America’s children.
Today, she continues this work as the President of ALL IN Empowering Futures, a non-profit agency combating the crises of children aging out of the foster care system, adoption, poverty, and human trafficking.
In this episode, Lynn shares the lessons she’s learned from serving the foster care community on both a broad and personal scale, what she feels is the true measure of a successful program, how we can best serve adults who were formerly in foster care, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lynn-johnson-253/
Have you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief.
Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and hardship. Holding on and letting go.
My guest today knows precisely what this feels like. Melissa McGilliard has been married to Chris for sixteen years and is a stay-at-home mom to their three boys, the youngest of which joined their family through foster care.
In this episode, Melissa shares some of the raw emotions she has experienced as a foster parent, why better understanding herself has helped her better support her adopted child, and the importance of allowing your heart to hold conflicting emotions.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-mcgilliard-252/
“I couldn’t become a foster parent because I’d get too attached.”
This is a sentiment we’ve heard many times from those considering foster care.
We know that foster care is full of the good and the hard; both beauty and brokenness. Overcoming our fears and holding space for both of these things is no easy task. And in my guest’s experience, the fear of getting too attached is the very thing that makes you a good candidate to become a foster parent.
Caitlyn Baten has been married to her best friend, Tim, for six years. She’s an adoptive and foster mom, is passionate about advocacy and ethical storytelling, and is a devoted follower of Christ. Caitlyn spent most of her professional career in the counter-trafficking space and now works for Buckner International where she comes alongside churches and engages them in the domestic and international work they do.
In this episode, Caitlyn shares her honest experience of becoming a foster parent, why becoming attached to a whole family is important, practical advice for preparing for visits with biological parents, and the importance of giving yourself space for heavy emotions when a child reunifies.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/caitlyn-baten-251/
Open adoptions began in 1975, but they didn’t become more common until the 1990s. Today, 9 out of 10 adoptions are open. While open adoptions are far more common today, adoptive parents may have concerns and fears about navigating that relationship with a child's birth parents. Likewise, birth parents are often worried about finding the place they belong in the process and entrusting someone else to care for their child while still maintaining a relationship.
Today, I have the privilege of learning from and listening to someone who was formerly in foster care and who is also a birth mother. Jori Victory is an advocate for healthy, open adoption, mental health resources, and post-placement care for birth mothers. She lives in Utah with her four children.
In this episode, Jori shares with us her experience of navigating the birth and adoptive parent relationship, the importance of remaining in a child’s life, the loss that can come with not knowing your biological parents, and the challenge of discovering your identity in the midst of complex circumstances.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jori-victory-250/
TW: This episode contains mentions of drug use, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. If these topics could be triggering for you or others, we wanted you to be aware of these topics before listening.
The trauma of our past can often define us and inform what we think and how we behave. This can create a cycle in which we are far more likely to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.
As Darnella Miller was growing up, her mother was caught in a cycle of drug addiction, placing Darnella in many unsafe situations that led to multiple forms of abuse and eventually removal from her mother’s care.
Today, Darnella is the Founder and CEO of BornCovered, a program where she gets to use her personal journey through foster care, teenage parenthood, and aging out of the system to empower, support, and uplift young girls and youth facing similar challenges. A Brooklyn native, Darnella is deeply committed to her family. She is happily married, with three daughters and three bonus sons.
In this episode, you’ll hear the emotions children may experience when being placed in foster care, how Darnella has broken generational cycles, and how the system can offer valuable support.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/darnella-miller-249/
There can be a lot of pressure on foster parents to always step up and say “yes” to each placement. One of the reasons many became foster parents was to be able to make a significant difference, so doesn’t that mean accepting as many placements as you are able?
But what happens if you say “no” to a placement? What if you say “no” when a child in foster care is able to be adopted?
My guests, AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk, know what it feels like to have to say “no.” They have fostered nine children. While they didn’t set out to only foster, they learned a lot whenever the opportunity to adopt a child came up. In multiple cases, the circumstances pointed to needing to say “no.”
In this episode, you’ll learn what goes into saying yes and no, that there is no one-size-fits-all formula, and the importance of approaching each situation with prayer.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/prayerful-decisions/
In terms of foster care, my guest has experienced it all. She entered foster care at age four and then reunited with her mom only to be removed from her mother’s care again. In total, she had twelve placements, lived in a group home, and would finally make the decision to emancipate.
Tori Petersen is a bestselling author, national speaker, and Bible teacher. She shares her testimony and life as authentically as possible to help and offer hope to others. Tori is known for her fierce advocacy work for foster care, adoption, and vulnerable children. At home, she is a wife and mama, who deeply values family, community, and hospitality.
In this episode, Tori shares what life was like as a young child, the ups and downs of her life in foster care, positive aspects of her experience that made a lasting impact on her life, how she found hope for the future, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/foster-care-tori-petersen/
It's not as common that we get to hear the perspective and experience of biological parents in the foster care community, but it's such an important perspective for us to hear and understand.
My guest, Ashley, found herself caught in addiction after being exposed to narcotic painkillers during a hospital stay for several clots in her brain. When her drug use spiraled out of control, it led to her son being removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness but also one of redemption.
In this episode, you’ll hear about the circumstances that can lead to a child being removed, the unique perspective of a birth parent, the complexity of addiction, and the important role foster parents can play.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/birth-parent-perspective/
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes work every day to understand how to best love our kids, teach them, and correct them. Add to that learning how to parent a child who has gone through trauma, and you realize you need a completely different set of tools. Strategies that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids.
Kristin Berry is the co-founder of The Resilient Caregiver (formerly The Honestly Adoption Company), an author, podcaster, as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She is passionate about helping caregivers learn how to reframe their perspective on their child’s trauma history and respond to behaviors with compassion and connection. Kristin and her husband, Mike, have fostered for nine years and have had 23 children come through their doors.
In this episode, Kristin gives practical insight into why traditional parenting doesn’t work for kids who have experienced trauma, how you can parent in a way that promotes connection, and how to take away the power of negative behaviors.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristin-berry-trauma-informed/
Have you wanted to foster or adopt but just don’t know if it’s the “right time?” My guest for this episode can relate! Jason Johnson and his wife knew they wanted to become foster parents, but were unsure when they should pursue it or how it might affect their biological children.
Jason is a speaker, writer, former pastor, and church planter who encourages families and equips church and organizational leaders on their foster care and adoption journeys. He is also the Director of Church Mobilization and Engagement with Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Jason has a deep passion for seeing the gospel catalyze a movement of foster care in the church around the world. Jason and his wife, Emily, are foster and adoptive parents who live in Texas with their four daughters.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Jason started his foster care journey, how to find the “perfect” time to foster or adopt, tips for navigating the concern of loving a child that might leave your family, and learn a new way to look at comments from strangers about your adoptive or foster family.
Whether you are currently a foster parent, are considering becoming one, or know someone who is, I know you will be encouraged by what Jason shares in this conversation!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jason-johnson-perfect-time/
Does this sound familiar to you? The child in your care comes home from school and after having a snack and telling you about their day, you sit down to help them with their homework. In an instant, it’s like you have an entirely different child. They throw themselves on the floor in rage or even check out entirely at the mere mention of homework.
Or maybe you receive what feels like daily calls from their school updating you about something that happened during the day or asking you to come pick them up early.
These are just a couple of many scenarios you may find yourself in when caring for a child who has experienced trauma. It can feel like all the tactics you’ve learned or used in the past don’t work anymore. My guest today can relate!
Cherilyn Orr has a background in education spanning from the pre-school to university level along with extensive professional development in trauma-informed care. Launched out of her own need as a parent to help her children, Cherilyn developed the Stoplight Approach which simplifies complex brain science into a common language to transform relationships. She is a mother to many—three biological, four adopted, and multiple children through foster care.
In this episode, you’ll learn what is going on inside your child’s brain in these chaotic moments, what the Stoplight Approach is, and some practical tools for trauma-informed care to add to your toolbelt.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cherilyn-orr-248/
What happens when a child ages out of foster care? In addition to processing the grief of what they’ve lost, children in this circumstance have to navigate the world as an adult sometimes completely on their own.
This is the story of my guest today. Jessica Cawthorn and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of her parents. But in the 9th Grade, Jessica formally entered foster care and aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old.
Today, Jessica works for the Administration of Children and Families and is a Texas CASA Board Member. She is married to her husband, Jonathan, and they have three children together—two through adoption and one by birth.
In this conversation, you’ll hear some of the circumstances that led to a failed adoption, how Jessica faced aging out on her own, and practical ways we can support children who are about to age out of care.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jessica-cawthorn-247/
“I may be single and fostering by myself, but I am far from alone.”
Community is a crucial aspect of anyone’s journey of becoming a foster parent as you navigate court dates, visitations, doctor’s appointments, school activities, big emotions, and more. When you’re a single foster parent, juggling all of those dynamics can be even more complex.
Emma Finton had a passion ever since she was young to become a foster parent, and ultimately became a licensed foster parent in November of 2022. She is currently providing care for two children. On top of that, she enjoys her work as a nanny.
In this episode, Emma shares how she knew it was the right time to become a foster parent, the challenges of being a single foster mom, tips she uses to manage the chaos, and the importance of having a supportive community around you.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emma-finton-246/
At four years old, Sheena Wood was told that she had to make herself “adoptable.”
She had medical challenges with her eyesight, feeling lost and alone as she navigated the journey of foster care, moving from foster home to foster home throughout her early childhood. She felt rejected and didn’t know if anyone would want her or if she would be able to find a place to belong.
Today, Sheena is a mother of five, married to her college sweetheart, and serves in a church in Florida along with her husband, Josh.
In this episode, Sheena shares what it was like to experience foster care, how well-intentioned advice can go wrong, why our words matter as caregivers to children who have experienced trauma, and why “Amazing Grace” helped her feel truly seen.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sheena-wood-245/
Regardless of our place in the foster care community, understanding who we are, who we belong to, and where our sense of security comes from is vital to our confidence in where we belong.
It is such an honor to have Trisha Priebe on the podcast. She’s an adoptee and adoptive mom who serves as the Sr. Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. Trisha is also a speaker and writer who has published 16 books. She lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where she is wife to her husband, Luke, and is mom to three.
In this episode, we explore why every adoptee’s experience is unique, how foster care and adoption teach us the complexity of love, why parenting any child is a leap of faith, and the importance of helping our children identify truth.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/trisha-priebe-244/
This week, I have a powerful story to share with you from a former foster child, adoptee, and advocate for human rights.
I am honored to introduce you to my guest, Dr. Mary Ann McMillan. She is a passionate advocate for foster youth and adoptees, whose advocacy is deeply personal because it’s inspired by her own experience as an adoptee who spent many years in foster care. Mary Ann serves as a professor and administrator at Jessup University in California and has previously served as a missionary in Ukraine and the Czech Republic, leading trainings in nearly 30 countries.
In this episode, you’ll hear Mary Ann’s personal experience in the foster care system, the importance of understanding and processing your past, the important role therapy has played in her story, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/mary-ann-mcmillan-243/
When foster care feels overwhelming, how do we hold on to hope? How do we define success? How do we find light when so much feels dark?
Nate and Kristen Crew are my guests on the podcast today. They have been married for almost 15 years and have 7 children – four adopted through foster care and three by birth. Rather than a specific “calling” to foster, they pursued foster care out of a desire to live out the basic commands in Scripture to care for those who are vulnerable. Nate is a pastor at CityLight Church in Virginia and together they love to encourage others through what God has taught them.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Nate and Kristen strive to live out their calling as Christians, the difference that reliance on God has made in their story, why it doesn’t require a “special moment” to start getting involved with foster care, how to hold on to hope when the journey is hard, and more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nate-kristen-crew-242/
For teens (and for any child in foster care), how can we create spaces where they are safe, feel belonging, and develop their sense of independence? How can we give them involvement in the development of what that space looks like?
My guest today is a dear friend, Chandler James. Chandler used to be an Advocate Coach here at The Forgotten Initiative and today is the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the foster care system in Houston. Chandler and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of.
In our conversation, you’ll hear helpful principles for creating a sense of belonging for children who have experienced trauma, the challenges they’ve experienced of supporting teens as young parents, how to communicate boundaries while providing independence, the importance of caring for teens in foster care, and so much more.
Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/chandler-james-241/
You may have seen us talking about our brand new podcast Just Neighbors. Well today, we're sharing one of those conversations right here on The Forgotten Podcast! This was such a powerful episode, with challenging and honest takeaways for those who follow Christ in our complex world.
Just Neighbors is a podcast for every believer who desires to live as Jesus lived – to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God and neighbor. My co-host, Ryan MacDonald, and I are joined by Dr. Krish Kandiah for this conversation about how to combine word and deed to provide belonging for our neighbors.
Krish is the founder of The Sanctuary Foundation, a charity supporting refugees to find welcome, work, and worthwhile housing in the UK. His mission is to help solve some of society’s seemingly intractable problems through partnerships across civil society, faith communities, government, and philanthropy.
In this episode, Krish helps us understand the important work they are doing, the largest challenges he sees for people who are removed from their homes, and how Christ followers should respond to the complex conflicts happening across our world. Beyond that, he guides us in seeing that displacement is happening all around us, as children are placed in foster care, people move to a new city for their jobs, and people feel like they don’t belong.
Listen in!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/krish-kandiah-240/
During the month of June, applications to become a TFI Advocate are open! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Whether a child has experienced foster care or adoption, there is history and trauma to navigate. As you can imagine, this can spill over into eating habits, behavior issues, and affect children’s sleep. Many foster parents and caregivers experience the difficulty of seeking help from someone trained in both foster/adoptive backgrounds and sleep practices.
That was the case for my guest, Allison Ezell. When her first adopted son came home from China in 2016, she spent years unsuccessfully searching for sleep help that took into account his history. Today, she now gets to do for others what no one could do for her all those years ago: build a bridge between sleep science principles and trauma-informed care.
Allison is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant and a mom of four through birth, foster care, and international adoption. She has a special passion for working with foster and adoptive families who are navigating sleep issues with their children.
In this episode, you’ll learn how isolating dealing with sleep issues in children who have experienced trauma can be, the importance of setting realistic expectations based on a child’s history and biology, navigating bedtime with multiple children, and so much more.
Find resources and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/allison-ezell-239/
During the month of June, applications to become a TFI Advocate are open! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
We cover many topics here on The Forgotten Podcast from how to know when to start fostering, real stories of people throughout the foster care community, how churches can get involved, and more.
But in this episode, we are talking about an aspect of foster parenting we don’t often address: What happens when you reach the end of the journey of active foster parenting? How do you know when you should be done fostering and begin providing wrap-around support?
My guest, Lisa Robertson, knows all about this journey as her family made the hard choice to stop fostering in October of 2023 after many years of active foster parenting. She has been a foster and adoptive parent and is the Executive Director for Hope Bridge, a non-profit that advocates for change in the Ohio foster care system by mobilizing churches and equipping communities to serve. Lisa has many years of experience in advocacy, biological family relationship preservation, and the preventative work of keeping families together.
It's never easy to let go of something that is so close to your heart. In this conversation, we discuss what questions foster parents should consider before closing their license, how to identify when it is time to stop fostering, the heaviest parts of letting go of such a large part of your life, the opportunities to still serve the foster care community after foster parenting, and much more.
Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lisa-robertson-238/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are open in June! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Foster care and baseball. On the surface, these two things don’t sound related at all, but my guest this week would beg to differ.
Emily Cole is the co-owner with her husband, Jesse, of the Savannah Bananas, a baseball team based in Savannah, Georgia. Their vision is to make baseball fun, put fans first, and always entertain.
In addition to owning and operating a baseball team, Emily and Jesse are also biological, foster, and adoptive parents. They even use their baseball platform to further impact the foster care community through their nonprofit, Bananas Foster. Emily is passionate about helping the foster care community by celebrating and advocating for those involved.
In this episode, you’ll hear how baseball and foster care collide in Emily’s life, a vision for the future of foster care, how vital it is to have your village established as a foster parent, and so much more!
Get links to resources and key takeaways in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emily-cole-237/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are open in June! TFI Advocates bridge the gap between churches and agencies right in their local community. Get the details and apply right here.
Court can be hard to understand and difficult to navigate for everyone involved. How does a case progress? Can a foster parent attend court dates for biological parents? Should they? Thankfully, I have an expert with me to help explain what happens at court from the lens of someone who is there every day–a judge.
I have the honor of speaking with Judge Brian Goldrick. He has been a part of the Child Protection Division of the court in McLean County for over 32 years. Judge Goldrick started in 1992 as an Assistant Public Defender, then served as the Contract Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) before becoming an Associate Circuit Judge.
In this episode, you’ll hear the process of a case through court, what rights foster parents have, how such weighty decisions are made, and much more. Listen in!
Get resources and takeaways in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/brian-goldrick-236/
Applications to become a TFI Advocate are opening in June! Get the details and sign-up to be notified when applications are live right here.
Today’s conversation made me a little emotional because I never could have imagined what God would do with this ministry when I launched it over a decade ago. I could have never imagined that we would have leaders across the nation who are stepping in and supporting their local foster care community! These Advocates act as a bridge, bringing encouragement and support to agencies by helping churches understand the best way to engage and meet needs contextually.
Today, I get the honor of introducing you to a couple of incredible people who are also team members here at The Forgotten Initiative: Jody Vanderburg and Liz Archambault. They serve in the role of Advocate Coaches, helping Advocates navigate the challenges specific to their area and bring their unique experience and personality to the role.
We are so grateful to have both of them on our team!
In this episode, you’ll hear how foster care intersected with each of their lives, what traits make an effective Advocate, the most meaningful parts about supporting local leaders as an Advocate Coach, and so much more!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jody-liz-235/
Can you remember the child, family, or experience that inspired you to become a part of the foster care community? It’s likely you were inspired because you heard their story or got to see their action firsthand.
With an understanding of the power of story and a passion for children who are waiting for their forever families, Kaycee Stanley and her husband, Pete, launched The Reel Hope Project.
The Reel Hope Project tells the stories of children awaiting an adoptive family using videos as a recruitment resource for prospective adoptive families. Their goal is to see an end to youth waiting for families by mobilizing the church to take action.
In this episode, you’ll hear how God has used these videos to inspire action, how the Church can make a difference for children waiting for families, how they are supporting agency workers in giving children a voice, and so much more!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kaycee-stanley-234/
Check out our brand new podcast, Just Neighbors: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/just-neighbors-podcast/
You will often hear us say, “You don’t have to foster to care.” One of the most important aspects of foster parenting (without burning out) is having a supportive community of people around you.
I have the honor today of talking with someone in this critical support role. Maddie Box is 26 years old and works as a pediatric speech-language pathologist, and she has organically found herself in the role of a support person to multiple foster parents.
In this episode, you’ll hear how this role is far more critical than many people realize, some of the simple ways foster parents need support, the most practical way to offer help, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/maddie-box-233/
Decisions made in court hold a lot of weight for the futures of children and families. Due to the impact that decision could potentially have, the role Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) was introduced to ensure all information was being considered.
The role of a CASA before began in 1977. Today, 939 state CASA/GAL organizations operate in 49 states, which serve 242,000 children annually. Travis and Stephanie Johnson are two of the dedicated volunteers who serve the foster care community in their role as CASAs.
In this episode, you’ll hear more about what it means to be a CASA, what the weekly responsibility often looks like, why Travis and Stephanie stepped into this role, and more valuable insights from their experience.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/travis-stephanie-johnson-232/
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Nobody starts working in the foster care system because they think it’s going to be easy.
The truth is, despite how deeply fulfilling a career in this field can be—it can also feel stressful and discouraging at times. For both new and experienced workers, it’s easy to feel defeated and wonder if the work you’re doing is enough.
If there’s anyone who can help us understand this better, it’s Carmen Nance—a woman with 30 years of experience serving the foster care community as part of the State of Georgia/Cobb County Department of Family and Children Services.
In this episode, Carmen shares the valuable insights she learned from interacting with people from every side of the foster care system, why a community of supportive peers is crucial for workers in the foster care community, what social workers wish people knew about the challenges and rewards of this role, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/carmen-nance-231/
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If a child in the foster care system spent 18 years in the same home, you might assume that they developed a strong sense of belonging within the family. But unfortunately, this is not always the case.
When Tash Haynes was born, her biological mother was unable to raise a child due to a mental disability. Fortunately, Tash was taken in by a family—but after growing up in their house until she aged out of the foster care system, Tash felt that although her basic needs had been met, her emotional needs had not.
Today, Tash is a renowned content creator, a community builder, and a mother of three girls. She is beyond proud of the family and career she’s been able to build despite the obstacles life has thrown her way.
In this episode, Tash gets candid about why it’s crucial to make sure children in foster care feel a sense of belonging, how showing her own daughters love is helping to heal the little girl inside of her, how God’s redemptive character has been on display in her life, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tash-haynes-230/
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The lives of today’s guests are deeply intertwined.
Jennifer Bracken’s childhood was rocky. After a difficult home life and several tumultuous years spent in the foster care system, she became a mother to four children and her struggles with addiction led to her family experiencing the foster care system in various ways.
Jillana Goble is a speaker, author, and advocate who fostered and adopted Jennifer’s third child before fostering and reuniting Jennifer’s fourth child.
Over the past 15 years, Jillana and Jennifer have taken steps to build a positive relationship. Today, they live a mile away from one another and their lives are interconnected in a beautiful way. Their journey together wasn’t always smooth sailing—but due to their mutual effort, courage, and vulnerability, they have developed deep trust and connection.
In this episode, Jennifer and Jillana talk about how they’ve navigated the ups and downs of building their relationship, how foster parents can form connections with birth parents in a safe and healthy way, the importance of extending the olive branch early, and so much more. Don’t miss this one!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jillana-jennifer-229/
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We all pray for our children to form a strong relationship with Jesus that will last a lifetime. But the truth is, many young adults walk away from their faith once they move out.
So what steps can we take to help our kids walk with Him throughout all the stages of their lives?
Today’s guest, Sarah Cowan Johnson, shares that a big part of the answer when we look at statistics lies in our parenting. Sarah is a ministry trainer, consultant, and coach who works with ministry leaders across the United States and leads seminars on family discipleship—showing parents how to help their children walk in the way of Jesus. Sarah shares key strategies for faith-based parenting in her book Teach Your Children Well: A Step-by-Step Guide for Family Discipleship.
In this episode, Sarah explains the most common pitfalls that stop parents from working worship into their home lives (and how to overcome them), how to disciple children no matter how long they may live under your roof, why it’s essential to let your kids ask questions and develop their own relationships with God, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-cowan-johnson-228/
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TW: While Joan does not go into specific details, this episode does contain mentions of her experiences of abuse, and we wanted you to be aware of that before listening.
Our guests often share the traumatic memories their experiences in life have left them with. But today’s guest shares what it’s like for there to be pieces missing when she tries to recall her past.
Joan Ulsher is a writer, philanthropist, retired U.S. Army Major, and an award-winning child advocate. During her own childhood, Joan survived abuse and experienced the foster care system firsthand. Today, she says many of her formative years feel like “Swiss cheese” because of all the holes in her memory.
Joan tells her story in a memoir entitled Misplaced Childhood: A True Story of Resiliency and Child Advocacy.
In this conversation, you’ll hear how Joan has navigated her mind blocking out childhood memories, how her advocacy efforts have changed her inner narrative from that of a victim to that of a survivor, how finding Christ has given her life new purpose, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/joan-ulsher-227/
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Many agency workers who serve the foster care community choose this path out of a passion for helping others. But transitioning into this challenging career can often be a very overwhelming experience. Even when workers are doing their best, they can start to feel like they’re not doing enough and that they don’t have a support system to fall back on in their times of need.
Brian Gazdziak is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker as well as a foster and adoptive dad. He has spent years providing specialized mental health therapy to help people, such as those in the foster care community, cope with life challenges. As someone who has experienced foster care from the perspective of both an agency worker and a foster parent, Brian has unique insights and empathy surrounding the topic of these complex relationships.
In this episode, Brian shares what it’s like to work with children and families in a hands-on capacity, how churches can provide much-needed support to foster care workers, how to build a better relationship with case workers, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/brian-gazdziak-226/
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No matter the season of parenting you’re in, there’s one thing every parent needs to prioritize—mental health. Not just your child’s, but your own, too.
It’s easy to look at the behavioral or emotional struggles our children are exhibiting and start thinking of ways to “fix” them. What’s harder is looking inward and asking ourselves what steps we can take to nurture our mental health so we can show up for our kids in the best way.
Joining me today is Michelle Nietert, an author, a speaker, and the Clinical Director/Founder of Community Counseling Associates. She’s also a follower of Christ, a wife, and a mother to two school-aged children who puts her mental health knowledge to use every day as she seeks to nurture a happy and healthy household.
In this episode, Michelle teaches us how to support our children through life’s challenges, how to help children who’ve experienced trauma find hope, joy, and light in life, how to work prayer into your children’s lives as they grow up, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/michelle-nietert-225/
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Cami Haussler’s childhood was marked by turbulence. By the time she was 10, both of her parents had passed away. Her formative years were filled with a long string of life changes, and it seemed like every time she got close to a caregiver, they would leave her.
Eventually, Cami was adopted by her grandparents, but despite the love they showed her, Cami often struggled to let them in, fearing that they too would pass away and leave her alone again.
Today, Cami’s experiences have come full circle—she’s now an adoptive parent who has fostered 12 children and taken on a core role at a private child placement agency.
In this episode, Cami openly shares how the emotional struggles of her childhood molded her into the woman she is today, how her mindset as a foster and adoptive parent had to expand into one of grace and selflessness, the biggest challenges from her experience as an adoptee, how to avoid developing a “savior complex” as a foster parent, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cami-haussler-224/
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Katie Faris knew that motherhood wasn’t always going to be smooth sailing, but she was more than ready to deal with temper tantrums and dirty diapers. What she wasn’t prepared for was receiving the news that three of her children had been diagnosed with a serious medical condition.
Katie’s story is deeply touching to me. She’s a pastor’s wife and a writer who has shared her journey with others through books like God is Still Good: Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood and He Will Be Enough: How God Takes You by the Hand Through Your Hardest Days.
Woven through both books is her own family’s story as well as stories of others who found God to be trustworthy in the midst of their perplexities.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Katie has walked hand in hand with God through all the ups and downs of her journey, her advice for relying on your community, the power of prayer when hope is hard to find, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/katie-faris-223/
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Has God ever led you somewhere that you were previously scared to go? Are you currently facing a situation where God is inviting you to entrust your fear and concerns to Him?
That’s what happened for Randall Nichols, co-founder of ECHO Family Care Partners and an adoptive parent. Through his work at ECHO, Randall is working to resource churches and businesses to meet the needs of orphaned and vulnerable children and families through foster care, adoption, and wrap-around support.
In this episode, Randall shares the powerful story of connection that introduced their family to special needs adoptions, how to involve your children in the decision to care for others, why community often is the biggest concern for those considering adoption or foster care, the importance of being able to give and receive care, and so much more!
Apply to Become a TFI Advocate: www.tfiadvocate.org
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/randall-nichols-222/
When Lisa Qualls found out she was pregnant as a teen, it led to an unexpected journey through foster care. After giving birth to her son, she felt conflicting pressure to give him up to be adopted, and it would be 16 years until she would reconnect with him again.
Lisa has a unique perspective as she has experienced the adoption and foster care community as a former foster youth, birth mom, foster mom, and adoptive mom. Lisa is a TBRI® Practitioner, co-founder of Adoption Wise, and co-author of The Connected Parent with Karyn Purvis. She lives in North Idaho with her husband, Russ, with whom she has parented twelve children by birth and adoption.
In this episode, you’ll hear Lisa’s deeply challenging experience in foster care and becoming a mother, her passion for staying connected to a child’s first family whenever possible, how she strives to encourage foster and adoptive families today, and so much more!
Apply to Become a TFI Advocate: www.tfiadvocate.org
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lisa-qualls-221/
We’re exploring some deep questions on the podcast this week and I would love to hear how you’re processing them.
How do we navigate painful circumstances in life? How do we walk with others who are experiencing something deeply challenging? How do we respond when life doesn’t turn out the way we expected it to?
I was so deeply touched during my conversation with my guest today, Katherine Wolf. She is my beautiful sister in Christ who is also a stroke survivor, disability advocate, and author. She and her husband, Jay, have authored two best-selling books Hope Heals and Suffer Strong.
In our conversation, you’ll hear Katherine reveal treasures found in dark times, share practical insights on how to encourage and support those who are struggling, and more!
Listen in!
Apply to Become a TFI Advocate: www.tfiadvocate.org
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/katherine-wolf-220/
DREION is a husband, father, electrifying singer-songwriter, musician, producer, and performing artist originally from Omaha, Nebraska. He experienced the foster care system as a child at the age of seven, and his story is one of trauma, tragedy, and triumph that the world needs to hear. Today, DREION uses his music to inspire and shed light on this underserved community through powerful storytelling and intentional experiences.
In this episode, you’ll hear DREION openly share his painful experience of entering foster care, why he holds a passion to advocate for foster care reform, the hope he holds for the future, why music holds such a meaningful place in his soul, and his message for other current or former foster youth.
Listen in!
Apply to Become a TFI Advocate: www.tfiadvocate.org
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/dreion-219/
I am so excited to bring you something a little bit different today. Grace Church of San Diego is letting us feature an episode of their podcast, Deeper Than Sunday, which featured one of our TFI Advocates, Desiree Jacobs.
In this episode, you’ll hear about secondary trauma, being inconvenienced vs. overextended, and what it looks like to bridge the gap between a foster care agency and a church.
I am grateful to Grace Church of San Diego for sharing this episode with us and allowing us to learn from their conversation!
Get notified when TFI Advocate applications go live: https://www.tfiadvocate.org/
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/desiree-jacobs-218/
What comes to your mind when you hear the word fatherhood?
My guest on the podcast today, Joey Eells, has a passion for fatherhood. When he became a father, he sought to step into that role in a way that would point his children toward their Heavenly Father. Joey is a foster and adoptive parent, and Children’s Pastor at Eastview Christian Church in Normal, Illinois.
In this episode, Joey discusses the role of fatherhood, the complicated relationship that often exists between foster and biological parents, the challenges of navigating the complex needs of children, how to model the love of God as a father, and more! Listen in as Joey vulnerably shares his perspective and experience.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/joey-eells-217/
Get 10% off the Who Loves Series with code "forgottenpod": https://www.wholovesseries.org/
It can be so hard to let go of control, can't it? We make plans, we set goals, and we want the outcome to be firmly in our grasp. But it’s not always that simple, and God often invites us to release the outcomes to Him.
My guests today experienced this when they decided to start a family and experienced a seven-year delay before it would eventually occur via adoption.
I have the honor of being joined by Michael & Lauren McAfee. Lauren is the founder of Stand for Life and is the Ministry Director at Hobby Lobby Ministry Investments. Michael is the founder and president of Inspire Experiences and a teaching pastor at Council Road Church. Together, they have two daughters through adoption and recently released their book, Beyond Our Control.
In this episode, they walk us through their journey of starting a family, how entitled expectations can rob us of joy, how we can let go of control when we need to, the importance of our emotions, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/michael-lauren-mcafee-216/
Do you ever find fear rising up within your heart? Does the weight of uncertainty ever feel too heavy to handle? In the foster care community, uncertainty about how our “yes” may impact our family, our marriage, a child in foster care, another family, or even ourselves can throw us into fear and hesitation rather than trust and faith.
I am so excited to welcome Jenn Hand for this conversation. Jenn founded Coming Alive Ministries in 2012 and has the honor of traveling around the world as a missionary and extending the invitation to come alive in Christ. She is an incredible example of someone who listens to God’s direction! She has her Master’s Degree in Trauma Counseling and is the author of five books. Jenn’s most recent book is My Yes is on the Table: Moving From Fear to Faith.
In this episode, Jenn shares about how saying “yes” is linked to surrender, what we can do with our fear, why stepping forward in faith doesn’t always mean forever, and so much more. I really enjoyed this conversation, and am eager to kick off 2024 with this topic!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jenn-hand-215/
“It was like she was returning a book to a library. She dropped me off and she left. It was one of the most traumatic experiences.” – Melinda Melo
Melinda spent her childhood living in some of the most vulnerable communities in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Due to extreme challenges her mother and family faced, she was neglected and exposed to violence, abuse, crime, and substance abuse. As a result, Melinda was in and out of foster and kinship care from the ages of three to fifteen. Uniquely, Melinda’s mother chose multiple times to place Melinda in foster care, which added an extra layer of trauma and extremely difficult emotions.
In this episode, Melinda shares the circumstances that led to her entering foster care, the effects of your identity being reduced to the labels in your file, how she has made sense of her past, the journey of forgiving her mom and welcoming her into her family’s home, and so much more. Today, Melinda has become a biological, foster, and adoptive parent along with her husband of 13 years, Mike.
Melinda’s story is full of challenge, and her healing journey through it all is incredible. Listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melinda-melo-214/
Two years ago, on Episode 130 of The Forgotten Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear Brenna Hunter’s journey to reunification with her children who were placed in foster care due to substance abuse. Today, we get to hear how her story continued, as she eventually started working with the very same agency that managed her case. Brenna is working to be a voice for those who are navigating foster care and spreading hope through her own incredible transformation.
In today’s episode, you’ll hear why biological parents can sometimes feel like the system is out to “get” them, how her perspective of foster care agencies has changed since her case closed, what the biggest challenges of working with other parents walking a similar road to recovery has been, and so much more.
This was a special episode, and I don’t want you to miss it. Listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/brenna-hunter-213/
"When we didn't have adult care, he was the one that would make sure we needed to eat..."
Aimee Cervantes was placed in foster care with her brother at the young age of four. But she would soon experience another loss as the last familiar person in her world was taken from her. Aimee was separated from her brother and they were adopted by different families—All she knew was his birth name, the name of their mother, and the town they had lived in prior to foster care.
In this episode, Aimee shares her experience of being in different forms of care from group homes, foster care, orphanages, and her eventual adoption. She also talks about the deep impact that being separated from her brother had on her life. While much was lost when Aimee entered foster care, she would find it again in her new family and even locate her biological brother when they were both adults.
This is an episode you simply don't want to miss. Aimee openly shares her experience of the foster care system, adoption, and the beauty of connecting with her brother as an adult. Listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/aimee-cervantes-212/
Today, I have a beautiful story to share with you here on the podcast.
Amanda Stonesifer and Cheyenne Dillon entered each other’s lives when Amanda’s daughters entered foster care and were placed with Cheyenne in 2020. Cheyenne has always had a passion for building relationships with biological parents connected to the foster care community. What started as home visits transformed into a full-blown partnership and friendship. Today, Cheyenne is the adoptive parent of two of Amanda’s daughters and the pair still have a strong friendship that involves support, sleepovers, attending church together, and long weekend visits.
In our conversation, you'll hear how Amanda and Cheyenne have built connection and trust, the power of partnership in foster care, the assumptions many of us carry, and so much more. I really appreciated this episode and the respect Amanda and Cheyenne truly have towards one another, and I know you will too!
Listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cheyenne-amanda-211/
One of the questions we often hear from those considering supporting the foster care community is, "When is the right time to become a foster parent?" This question can feel even heavier when we talk to individuals who feel the call to become a foster parent but are not married.
My guest today is a dear friend and someone who has been a single foster parent for more than five years. Jillian Kellenberger served with us here at TFI for 8 years, and she is what you would call an “energy giver." She is so passionate about people, relationships, Jesus, and is uniquely gifted at caring well for people.
Throughout her foster care journey, Jillian has walked through a lot of joy, a lot of sorrow, and has had many tear-filled moments. In this episode, she shares how she decided to become a foster parent as a single woman, the principles she has learned about supporting biological families, her journey through reunification, and some of the beautiful truths she has discovered about God.
I know you will be encouraged and filled with hope from her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jillian-kellenberger-210/
November is often a time when we bring additional awareness to the foster care and adoption community as many churches recognize Orphan Sunday. In honor of that, we wanted to take a moment to talk more broadly about caring for vulnerable children. We want to use this time to renew our passion for caring for the vulnerable in every stage of life including children in foster care, pregnant mothers, and families.
Joining me is Herbie Newell, an author, speaker, and the President and Executive Director of Lifeline Children’s Services. Under his leadership, Lifeline has increased their international outreach to 25 countries and expanded into 14 states. He lives in Birmingham, AL with his wife, Ashley, and their three children. Herbie has been working in the child welfare world for the last two decades. He and his wife share a passion for the unborn, life, and adoption and have a desire to spend their lives advocating for “the least of these.”
In this episode, we discuss the importance of increasing awareness, how we can develop compassion for people throughout the foster care and adoption community, the importance of the Church championing care for the vulnerable, and so much more.
As you listen in, I hope you walk away with a renewed passion for where you are called to serve vulnerable families!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/herbie-newell-209/
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You’ve likely heard about trauma, but have you heard of secondary trauma? It’s sometimes referred to as compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, and secondary traumatic stress, and it is especially common among helping professionals such as mental health professionals, first responders, and social workers.
My guest today is Blake Boyer, a social worker in the field of child welfare. Blake is a wife, mother, and has a masters in social work in addition to being a Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioner.
In this episode, Blake shares her experience as a social worker, the challenging effects of secondary trauma in her field, how she approaches her faith in a government position, how we can support those we know who are social workers, and much more.
Listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/blake-boyer-208/
Get 10% Off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
Don't forget! For the month of October, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.
I am honored and encouraged by the bravery and honesty of so many of the guests on our podcast. Today's episode is a special one to be able to share.
Jody Golston is the biological mother of three girls. As a result of her challenging struggle with drug addiction, they entered the foster care system. Through a long journey of healing and “choosing her hard,” Jody overcame her addiction and eventually even had the opportunity to became a kinship caregiver for her nephews and spend more time with her daughters.
She has quite the story, moving from a recovering addict to a kinship caregiver and now an advocate for others connected to the foster care community. Today, Jody uses her experiences to encourage and mentor other moms who are involved with foster care through her support group, Tangled Hearts.
Jody's story is one of recovery and restoration after the hardest days of her life, and I encourage you to listen this week.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jody-golston-207/
For the month of October, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.
“I didn’t know what was happening and for the first few years, I feel like I just disassociated from what was happening.” – Darien Karenbauer
It is always an honor to share the stories of those who have experienced placement in foster care in their life. For many children, entering foster care is extremely confusing and can come as a shock as they when they don’t understand how it works, who they can rely on, or where they’ll call home.
My guest today is Darien Karenbauer. Darien is a former foster youth and transracial adoptee who spent six years in the foster care system from ages 10 to 17. He experienced two failed adoptions and even lived in a detention facility (because a home couldn’t be found for him) before he was ultimately adopted at 17 years old.
In this episode, Darien shares his experience of entering foster care with little-to-no knowledge of how the system worked. Though that experience threw him into survival mode, he would eventually be able to build relationships because someone was willing to invest in his well-being before even meeting him.
I am so grateful to be sharing Darien’s story with you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/darien-karenbauer-206/
For the month of October, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.
If you’ve ever had a dream in your heart, you know there can be a lot of steps to make it a reality. Along the way, you will likely encounter hardships, delays, and doubts.
I have a special treat for you today as we have not one, but two guests!
Kate Wilson is the Founder and CEO of Foster + Heart, a Non-Profit in Idaho that is dedicated to igniting the community to meet the needs of children in foster care. Even though the journey was long towards realizing her dream, God set things in motion to not only place that calling on her life early on but also see it come to fruition.
Secilia “Cece” Bedolla is a former foster youth and team member at Foster + Heart. Experiencing an incredibly challenging and traumatic upbringing, Cece’s story is a story of discovering hope in the midst of hardship.
I was so honored to have this conversation and I hope it’s an encouragement to you this week! Listen in as they share how God guided their circumstances and gave them the experience to meet the needs of children in foster care today.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/wilson-bedolla-205/
For the month of October, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.
Friends, please don’t miss this one!
Today, I have the special opportunity to share an episode about an aspect of foster care that I originally knew very little about: refugee foster care. If you are unfamiliar with this form of foster care, it occurs when a child has migrated to the United States (often all on their own) and it is unsafe to return to their home country. This can also occur when a child is placed in a refugee camp- listen to hear more about how this works.
My guest today is Jamie Bartlett. Jamie is a mom to four biological boys and one adopted daughter. She has fostered 18 children through refugee foster care. Jamie and her husband, Mike, reside in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where they started a church plant. And as of this episode, Jamie is one of our TFI Advocates!
Her story is touching and inspiring. You won’t want to miss this one!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jamie-bartlett-204/
Become a TFI Advocate: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/become-a-tfi-advocate/
For the month of October, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.
I love meeting others who are deeply passionate about both the foster care community and the Church. Those are two of our passions here at The Forgotten Initiative as well!
Becoming a TFI Advocate starts with filling out an application. However, for each person who takes this step, the journey starts long before that, often beginning with an awareness that leads to action and a deep passion.
This is a journey I get to explore with Abby Callison in today's episode. Abby is a TFI Advocate in Mason City, IA and a foster parent as well. Long before she could support the foster care community directly, she was exposed to the importance of supporting vulnerable children through a mission trip to an African orphanage and seeing foster care lived out through multiple families at her local church.
In this episode, Abby reminds us of the significant role the Church can have in the foster care community, the unique circumstances that led them to become foster parents, her experience navigating the application process to become a TFI Advocate, why it is important that we identify our unique motivation, advice she would have for people interested in becoming involved, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/abby-callison-203/
Apply to Become a TFI Advocate: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/become-a-tfi-advocate/
Have I ever mentioned how much I love the people I get to meet through this podcast? What a powerful story of resilience and HOPE I get to share with you today!
Antonio Grate is a former foster youth who grew up in Chicago. His story includes his mother’s addiction, not having his father in his life, and eventually aging out of the foster care system. Even through all these challenges, the pain has not defined his life.
Today, he is a Social and Emotional Strategist, professional speaker, author, minister, husband, and father of four. It’s clear that he is passionate about sharing a message of hope with the foster care community.
It is an honor and a true inspiration to have Antonio join me today!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/antonio-grate-202/
Who Loves Series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
Are you looking for practical support? Today’s episode is for you.
Kayla Moffitt went from zero to five children through foster care the same week that her dad passed away from COVID-19. She describes it as a “brokenness” that she started her parenting journey from, something that has been a core part of her own healing journey.
The children they took in were siblings living separated in foster care for the majority of their time in care. Kayla and her husband, Jerad, eventually adopted all of them, many of whom have received psychiatric diagnoses like Bipolar Disorder, RAD, Childhood Schizophrenia, and more.
After struggling to navigate the hard moments of parenting and how to support challenging behaviors and actions, Kayla became a Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioner, which she says truly “saved our family.” In this episode, we dive into various trauma-informed parenting tactics and hope for those who are parenting children from hard places.
You are not alone!
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kayla-moffitt-201/
Join us as we celebrate our 200th episode of The Forgotten Podcast. In this special episode, roles are reversed as Jami Kaeb, the usual host, takes a turn as the guest, while Holly Gnuse steps in as the interviewer.
Since its inception in 2016, "The Forgotten Podcast" has been committed to sharing the stories of the forgotten in the foster care community. In this episode, Jami and Holly reminisce about TFI's podcasting journey, sharing stories from the early days and reflecting on the challenges they've faced.
Beyond the memories, they also discuss the profound impact the podcast has had on its listeners, providing strength and a sense of community during life's challenges. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this 200th episode is a heartfelt celebration of the podcast's journey, its influence, God's faithfulness, and the resilience of the human spirit.
Have you ever felt guilty that you couldn't do more? Wished you could simply help more children in foster care? Or perhaps you've felt like you've failed when you reach your limits?
You are not alone.
Anna Koon started her journey alongside the foster care community as a case worker and an adoption specialist. But she quickly wanted to do more, and was dipping into her personal finances to buy items to meet the needs of children in foster care. Anna and her husband couldn’t stand the thought of children sleeping at the DCS office when a foster family couldn’t be found, so they shifted roles to become foster parents specifically for respite and emergency placements.
Anna shares her unique journey with us from being a case worker to becoming a foster parent and insights along the way about supporting the foster care community. I was encouraged by our conversation and I hope you are as well!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/anna-koon-199/
Trigger Warning: As Kamille bravely and openly shares her experience, we want to make sure you know this episode mentions sexual assault between 11:30-13:00 and briefly again around 22:00.
“They are so resilient. I can see myself in them.” - Kamille Justus
Children in foster care are some of the most resilient people you’ll meet. They navigate continual change, traumatic experiences, and so much more, and their experiences often form a determination within them.
Kamille Justus is one of these resilient people. In her case, that determination was to be a cycle-breaker in her family despite the hardship she had experienced throughout her life.
Today, Kamille is a Lead Family Support Worker at The Center for Youth and Family Solutions, which has locations across Illinois. Kamille has endured her own experiences in what, now, could bring children into care and she is using her experiences to help connect with children and parents. She hopes that her experience can build those connections so that the families within the Knox, Henderson and Warren counties can be supported and reunited.
In this episode, Kamille shares her story, the triggers that have formed as a result of what she experienced growing up, why her trauma created a passion to support others who have gone through something similar, the importance of empathy and compassion, and so much more.
I am so grateful to Kamille for joining me for this conversation!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kamille-justus-198/
The story I have for you today spans many roles in the foster care community. My guest, Raquel McCloud, entered kinship care when she was just a young child. Kinship care is when a relative or close family friend takes the role of foster parent instead of a caregiver previously unknown to the child. There are many instances of informal kinship care occurring as well as formal kinship care.
In many cases of kinship care, the relatives are left without many resources to help them establish boundaries with the biological parent who is also their own family member. In today’s episode, Raquel shares her personal story of growing up in kinship care, becoming pregnant as a teen, and how she was given no other option but to put her child up for adoption.
In spite of all she has been through, today Raquel is a birth mom in reunion with the very child she put up for adoption, a kinship adoptive mom to her half-sister, and an advocate for adoption, foster care, and other important topics. While Raquel wishes her life had been kinder, she is thankful that others can be inspired and learn from her experience going from a child in kinship care and biological teen mom to a birth mom in reunion and a kinship adoptive mom.
I am so grateful to Raquel for sharing her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/raquel-mccloud-197/
This is your fault. If you want to stay out of foster care, you’d better behave. If you don’t change your attitude, then they’ll separate you from your siblings.
Can you imagine hearing these messages growing up? This is often the message that is conveyed to children from hard places or who are at risk of entering foster care. They grow up carrying around this guilt and believing they are why their families fell apart. But what they don’t always come to realize is that it was never their fault.
I am grateful to have Dr. Danisha Keating with me on the podcast as she shares her journey of growing up in an abusive and neglectful household where she cared for her siblings. Danisha is a former foster youth and was a guardian to five of her siblings as an adult. She loves to encourage foster care advocates and foster youth to go after their dreams and goals. While Danisha’s journey has not been an easy one, it has helped her find her life’s work.
Thank you for joining me for this conversation with Danisha!
(Don't forget that through the month of August, a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000! Double your impact today.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/danisha-keating-196/
What are the factors that cause a child to enter foster care? Addiction? Abuse? The reality is, it's rarely a single situation.
Today's episode contains many factors that are all too common in foster care. For Jackie Polk, it was a combination of domestic violence and addiction that led to her children being removed from her care.
Jackie gave birth to twin boys, and 16 months later, the Department of Child Services (DCS) stepped in to remove her children. Her story includes addiction recovery, domestic violence, and eventually foster care reunification.
Today, she is coming up on six years of being clean and sober, is married, and has a two-month-old son in addition to her twins. Jackie's hope is that you find hope through hearing her story and realize that regardless of your circumstances, your story can be rewritten.
I hope you enjoy my conversation with Jackie as much as I did!
(Don't forget that through the month of August, a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000! Double your impact today.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jackie-polk-195/
Do you remember how you first became aware of the foster care community? Maybe someone close to you started fostering? Maybe your spouse invited you to pray about pursuing this? Or perhaps a certain statistic impacted your heart?
Ryan MacDonald attributes becoming aware of the needs within the foster care community through his wife's passion for the topic and a class he took in school about how as followers of Jesus we can engage society. Ryan describes it as his wife pulling on one arm and the Lord pulling on the other. (Maybe you can relate?) He is now involved in the foster care community at a variety of levels—at work, through the church he pastors, and within his own family.
Ryan is a follower of Jesus, husband, an adoptive, foster, and biological dad, pastor, and the Regional Director of Foster the City over Los Angeles and Orange County in California. He is a self-proclaimed coffee snob but believes there is a time and place for diner coffee. In his spare time, he loves spending time with his wife, all things theology, basketball, and playing with his kids.
In this episode, Ryan shares openly about his experience as a foster parent, the importance of celebrating reunification, the reality that foster parenting is a skill you get better at over time, and so much more. This was one of my favorite conversations I've had on the podcast!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/ryan-macdonald-194/
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“Every kid, no matter what their circumstances are, should be celebrated and honored just like we do our children.”
Agency workers are the first responders of the foster care community. They are among the first to meet a child, they are keepers of that child’s history, and they know firsthand the needs that often go unmet. With many agencies experiencing unprecedented employee turnover, the challenges facing agency workers continue to increase as they experience secondary traumatic stress, lack of resources, and underappreciation.
Danika Briggs has been a close friend and worked with one of our TFI Advocates in Virginia for many years! She has been in social services for over 20 years and is the Assistant Director for Family Services at the Chesterfield-Colonial Heights Department of Social Services in Virginia. Danika plays a vital leadership role in overseeing child welfare programs at their social service agency she also helps resource and encourage agency workers overall.
In this episode, Danika shares how partnerships with organizations like TFI can have an impact on the agency workers and the current challenges they are facing.
I really enjoyed this episode, and I hope you will too!
(Don’t forget that through the month of July, a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000! Join Team 3:10 today.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/danika-briggs-193
“Being a foster parent was always something that had been on my mind…”
I am excited to have two of my favorite people on the podcast today: Jonah and Sarah Wilson! Sarah is part of our team here at TFI and grew up with foster siblings. So becoming a foster parent was always something she personally wanted to pursue.
When Sarah and Jonah got married, their conversations turned to when the “right time” was to become foster parents and biological parents. While they knew they wanted to be in a stable place for either, they agreed that becoming foster parents would come first.
In our conversation, Jonah and Sarah share the details of what it looked like to become foster parents, where the journey differed from their expectations, how they navigated both the good and the hard parts of foster care, their perspective as both foster and adoptive parents, encouragement they have for other foster parents, and so much more.
I loved this episode, and I know you will too!
(Don’t forget that through the month of July, a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000! Join Team 3:10 today.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jonah-sarah-wilson-192/
Welcome to a bonus episode of the podcast! We don’t do these very often, but we wanted to give you a little extra surprise content that we hope is an encouragement to you this week.
It’s always special when we get to share the work of our TFI Advocates, volunteer leaders across the nation who are working to support their local foster care community by bridging the gap between the needs of foster care agencies and the people and resources to meet those needs in local churches.
At our TFI Advocate Retreat last year, we got to share an interview between Lisa Jacobsen, an Advocate in Carver County, MN, and a local pastor as well as a local agency worker to share how they have built trust and started working together to meet needs in their community. In this bonus episode, we get to share that same interview with you! This conversation will give you such a great look into some of the work we’re doing here at TFI, and it brings us so much joy to hear stories just like this one.
(By the way, if you want to make ministry like this possible, we have a matching grant up to $20,000 through the end of July, so your gift can be doubled right now! Double your gift today.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/bonus-lisa-jacobsen/
It’s not uncommon for children impacted by foster care or adoption to desire to find answers, know where they came from, and understand the reason their life has looked the way it has. It can lead many children to question their identity or even wonder if they will ever find a sense of peace at all.
Anna Bernacki grew up in an adoptive home after being placed in foster care as an infant. As a teenager, she began to long for that special biological bond she felt would come from her biological parents. But after meeting her biological mother, Anna was disappointed to find that in her experience, that special connection she had longed for was still missing.
It wasn’t until Anna and her husband, Brian, were foster parents for six years and then adoptive parents to two sibling sets of two (four adoptive children in total!) that she would find healing and come to terms with the identity she carried outside of biological connection.
I really enjoyed my conversation with Anna and appreciated her openness about her story and experiences. I hope you do too!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/anna-bernacki-191/
Join Team 3:10 (a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000 through the end of July!): https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
Back in 2009, trauma-informed care wasn’t discussed as much as it is today and many families were not as open about the hardships that came along with an adoption. Kara Higgins always knew she wanted to grow her family by adoption, and she and her husband, Ryan, later had the opportunity to do so when adoptions opened up in Rwanda. That’s when she came face-to-face with trauma at a time when very few realized what it meant.
Kara is the mother to six children through foster care, adoption, and biology. She and her husband founded Imana Kids, which is an orphan care ministry with an educational sponsorship program in Rwanda focusing on trauma-informed interventions, learning, and care. Kara has more than twenty-four years of experience as an international healthcare provider and orphan care advocate for some of the most vulnerable populations of women and orphans, and it was an honor to speak with her today.
In this episode, Kara shares openly about her journey to understanding trauma-informed care, how her expectations of adoption matched up to reality, when she discovered that trauma isn’t just for foster children, and why connection makes all the difference in the world.
This really is one you don’t want to miss.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kara-higgins-190/
Join Team 3:10 (a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000!): https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
Welcome to a VERY special episode of The Forgotten Podcast. We are going to be doing things a little bit differently because we just hit and surpassed a huge milestone. The Forgotten Podcast has reached the 1 million download mark! Can you believe this?!?
We have listeners in all 50 states and over 150 countries around the world. I want to express my heartfelt thanks to you for being a part of this amazing community. Thank you for sharing, listening, and supporting our work here.
It is a joy to walk with you and to share a big opportunity with you in this episode. A generous ministry partner has offered a matching grant for $20,000 to help us double our impact through the month of July. This means when you join our community of givers with a gift of any amount now through the end of July, your gift will be doubled!
Team 3:10, which is based on the Bible verse in Malachi 3:10, is our community of podcast listeners and other givers who share the dream of seeing God throw open the floodgates of Heaven so that every child, parent, and worker in foster care will know they are not alone.
In today’s episode, I am reminiscing about some of my personal favorite parts of the podcast, reviews we’ve received, what’s on the horizon, and more about this matching grant. Listen in and celebrate this milestone with us! 🎉
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/one-million-downloads/
Team 3:10: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
My guest today experienced a childhood filled with painful circumstances, parents who struggled with drug addiction, and the death of his father at the age of seven. You can imagine the amount of trauma and instability he experienced growing up.
Corey Johnston, in spite of the instability of his mother, always longed to feel like her son. God was gracious to invite Corey into a relationship with Him. And as an adult, he gave his life to Christ and started a church plant.
But even after that, he would encounter unmet hopes through a miscarriage that would eventually open the door to fostering and then later adopting his son. Corey shares with us why it feels so difficult when hopes are unmet, how to process grief, and many more nuggets of wisdom along the way.
I was blessed by Corey’s story as I have personally experienced unmet hopes through a failed adoption. If you’ve ever wondered, “God, how can you make this good?,” then you won’t want to miss this episode.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/corey-johnston-188/
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My guest today is proof that awareness leads to action, and that a passion for supporting the foster care community can span generations. Once you become aware of the needs, have seen them firsthand, or have seen your own family foster, it is hard not to answer the call to take on a supporting role within the foster care community.
Sarah Hamaker first saw foster care in action from her own parents. They started fostering when she was a teenager and had a total of more than 40 children in their home over 30 years. This is initially what inspired her to be a foster parent herself. In addition to being a second-generation foster parent, Sarah is a therapeutic foster parent, speaker, award-winning author, podcaster, biblical parenting coach, and certified Leadership Parenting Coach™. She is passionate about helping parents develop strong relationships with their children.
In this episode, Sarah is sharing about how your impact goes beyond the children that are in your home, what you should do if you feel a pull towards foster care, why crying when a child in foster care leaves your home can be a gift to them, and so much more.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-hamaker-187/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
Today’s guest defines trauma as something that impacts your ability to cope in everyday life. Trauma can also affect multiple generations and start a cycle that is difficult to escape.
Cordelia Cranshaw Skeete has experienced this cycle of generational trauma. As a former foster youth, she experienced the deep trauma of multiple transitions, the loss of connection to biological family, and other traumatic events. But through all the struggles she experienced, she was able to find beauty too.
Cordelia is a former foster youth, foster system advocate, coach, author, speaker, former Miss District of Columbia USA 2019, founder of Acts of Random Kindness (a nonprofit that provides resources to children and families facing life challenges), and Licensed Graduate Social Worker. Her greatest passion is to bring healing to children and families who have experienced trauma.
This was such a special conversation. I hope you are as encouraged as I was by Cordelia’s willingness to share her story and her powerful perspective on generational trauma. She is a cycle-breaker!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cordelia-cranshaw-186/
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Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children.
Did you know that 30% of children who enter into foster care are teens? The shift into foster care is a lifelong challenge for children of any age, but uniquely so for teens. That grief journey is deep and complex, as it also often involves giving up a role in life that they are used to fulfilling.
Melissa Smallwood found herself in the foster care system as a teenager and, along with the trauma she had experienced, her foster care experience had a lasting impact on her life. She moved from being a primary caregiver to her two brothers to the role of a foster child. Through her journey, she has found healing and pursued a career as a therapist who works primarily with children and teens who have been or are in the foster care system.
Melissa is now a wife and mom of seven, several of which joined her family through adoption and foster care, as well as “Mimi” to five. I hope you find encouragement and support through her story!
(Remember: Only until the end of May, applications are still open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year, so learn more and apply here.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-smallwood-185/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children.
Sometimes seeing another family involved in foster care can change someone’s mind from “I could never be a foster parent” to “I can do this.”
Sarah Butler, TFI Advocate in Conecuh County, AL, didn’t imagine she would be able to be a foster parent. But after seeing another family foster, she saw it was possible and she and her husband felt God’s call to pursue it. Immediately after completing the requirements to be foster parents, they were told there was a child that needed a place to stay that very night. Since then, the Butlers have had over 30 children come through their home in four years.
In this episode, Sarah shares the challenges, blessings, hardships, and joy that comes from fostering, and what it looks like to take a step past the fear of the unknown and into the call that God may have for your family. I hope you are encouraged and inspired by Sarah’s story today!
(Remember: Applications are still open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-butler-184/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children.
Will I be able to protect my biological children?Do I need to keep the natural birth order of my biological children intact in order to foster successfully?I’ve heard that children are resilient, so do I need to worry about my biological children?
I’ve heard questions like these from many in the foster care community, and I remember asking some of them myself when we first started the process of becoming foster parents.
Just as much as a new placement brings up challenging emotions for children in foster care, the same is true for our biological children. However, there isn’t as big of a focus on supporting biological children as they navigate the transition of welcoming new children into your home and dealing with the grief when they have to say goodbye to someone they may consider their sibling.
To help us understand more about how to support our biological children as we foster is Daniela Coats. Daniela is not only a Licensed Master Social Worker, but she is also a biological child of parents who fostered and eventually adopted. So she knows firsthand the difficult emotions that many biological children face alone. Daniela and her husband live in Texas with their six children, four by adoption and two by birth.
Listen in!
(Remember: Applications are now open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/daniela-coats-183/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children.
In today’s episode, I have the opportunity to talk with Dairius Kawewahi. Dairius entered foster care due to the abuse he and his brother suffered from their biological father. Although Dairius was unaware that the abuse he suffered wasn’t normal, the effects of his early childhood and time in five different foster homes would have a lasting impact on his life.
Just like Dairius’s middle name means, he is a young man with so much wisdom. I am grateful that he shared his story of overcoming impossible circumstances, learning to offer forgiveness, and discovering how to release the grasp his past held on him. His life is now marked by hope and healing, and I know it will serve as an encouragement to you. Listen in!
(Applications are now open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/dairius-kawewahi-182/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the different perspectives of the foster care community – agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children.
To kick off our episodes for this month, today I’m sharing my conversation with Candace Franklin, who is not only a Social Worker Supervisor, but also a foster parent and advocate for the foster care community.
In this episode, Candace reminds us that there is a place for youto step into this community, and shares what her life as a worker is like, how challenges with infertility have influenced her journey, and the joy she gets to see when reunification is possible.
I hope this episode is a support to you this week!
(Starting today, applications are open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. Learn more and apply here!)
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/candace-franklin-181/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Here at The Forgotten Initiative, we get to support incredible volunteer leaders called TFI Advocates who are leading local foster care ministries across the nation.
Joining me for today’s episode is one of our TFI Advocates, Tess Dykstra. Tess has been an Advocate for Cobb County, GA since November 2021, and she is an incredible leader! In addition to her role as a TFI Advocate, Tess is a foster parent, mom to two boys (one through adoption), and works remotely in logistics and supply chain operations.
Tess is going to give us a look behind the curtain of what it means to be a TFI Advocate. She shares more about what a TFI Advocate does, what skills they might need, and her own story of getting involved.
Too many in the foster care community feel forgotten. They feel unloved and even uncared for. It’s our passion to change that reality. Coming up in May, we are opening up the applications for additional TFI Advocates. We only accept applications twice a year, so I want to invite you to consider if this role might be for you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tess-dykstra-180/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
TW: This episode does contain mentions of abuse, sexual abuse, human trafficking, and Satanic Ritual Abuse that we want you to be aware of before listening.
We know that youth in and out of foster care are a very vulnerable population and at risk for trafficking. However, what you might not realize is that 60% of all child sex trafficking victims have histories in the child welfare system, according to the National Foster Youth Institute.
My guest today knows the reality of human trafficking on a very personal level. Tiffani Price is a survivor of human trafficking and Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). She deeply understands the many difficulties facing this vulnerable population as she was trafficked by her adoptive parents. Today, Tiffani has founded a nonprofit called GloryB to help support other survivors.
In this episode, Tiffani bravely shares her story and helps us understand how we can protect children in our care by recognizing signs of grooming and trafficking.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tiffani-price-179/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Tyler Daily wasn’t planning on becoming a foster parent. But his work in education as a middle school teacher ended up becoming the gateway to foster care.
Foster parents are so important in the foster care community, and single foster parents are an incredible group of people. There is no specific data on the number of single foster parents nationwide; however, the 2019 Child Welfare Outcomes report shows that single parents make up 29% of the adoptive family structure with just 3% of that number being single men.
Parenting alone presents a lot of challenges that other foster parents may not encounter. As Tyler has fostered 7 children in the course of one year, he says, “It’s a circus, but it’s a fun circus!” I pray you are encouraged by his story and experience this week.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tyler-daily-178/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Welcome back to The Forgotten Podcast! I am eager to share another story from the foster care community with you this week.
My guest today is a foster parent herself, but she primarily works alongside birth parents and infants recovering from drug withdrawal. Heather Simpson is a mom to four biological boys, a foster parent, and a charge nurse at Brigid’s Path, an infant recovery center.
In today’s episode, she is sharing how she got connected to the foster care community, what it looks like for infants to withdraw from drug exposure, and the perspective shift she has made from working closely with birth moms. Listen in as Heather shares her important perspective with us!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/heather-simpson-177/
Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast
Bethany and her husband, Benji, originally planned to foster school-age kids or older and did not plan to accept any babies. But when they got the call for Journey, they couldn’t say no. Little did they know she would be diagnosed with a brain tumor with an unknown prognosis and months of appointments and treatments that followed.
Today on the podcast, I’m thrilled to be able to have one of our TFI Advocates, Bethany Riley, with me. Bethany first had a heart for international adoption but as newlyweds, her husband Benji and herself were led to foster care in the United States. She has been a foster parent to teens and little ones for the past 15 years.
Her story isn’t just one of diverse experiences of foster parenting, but also of adoption and loss and grief. Their daughter, Journey, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As they walked through the challenges of her complicated medical treatment as foster parents, they made the decision to adopt her regardless of the outcome of her treatment. They finalized her adoption just eight days before she passed away.
The journey isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. I think that’s the message you’ll walk away with after today’s conversation.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/bethany-riley-176/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
When loss, grief, hardships, or tragedy hit our own lives, most of us are ill-prepared to deal with it.
Davey Blackburn experienced an unbelievable tragedy when he came home to find his pregnant wife had been shot during a home invasion. She would pass away just 24 hours later, leading him on a journey of learning to process the loss and grief he felt at the sudden loss.
While Davey’s story isn’t directly about foster care or adoption, it is about a topic that I think affects many of us in the foster care community. This is the question of what we do with pain and how we handle traumatic events.
In this conversation, you’ll hear Davey’s story, truths he has learned about the healing process, where many of us need to shift our view of God, and much more. I hope this episode is as meaningful to you as it has been to me.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/davey-blackburn-175/
Use code "forgottenpod" for 10% off the Who Loves Series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
TW: There are brief mentions in this episode of abuse, self-harm, and suicide, which we wanted you to be aware of before listening.
There are some episodes of the podcast that simply pack so much wisdom into a short conversation. This is one of those episodes.
Children enter foster care for many different reasons. And despite some of the hard work we do to overcome and heal from the past, our stories can still be messy. My guest knows this all too well!
Kristen Thomas entered into kinship care after suffering abuse, but experienced deep-rooted challenges when she felt misunderstood, unsupported, and became homeless after aging out of care. As an adult, Kristen has taken the time to move towards healing those parts of her past. Today, she is going to grad school for Counseling and is an adoptive parent to her daughter, with only a 10-year age difference between them.
Kristen is very well-spoken and I greatly appreciated her coming onto the show. I know you will be encouraged by her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristen-thomas-174/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
Welcome back to The Forgotten Podcast! In this episode, I have the opportunity to talk with Shyann Skelton. Shyann came from a broken home where she did not know her biological father. After her mother’s death, she was adopted by her grandmother, but experienced deep pain through loss, bullying, and hardships as she was rejected by family for being biracial.
Shyann’s story begins with odds that were stacked against her, but she has taken those experiences and used them for good! As an adult, Shyann is a foster mom to teen girls and soon will be working with a nonprofit whose goal is to fill the gap while children are waiting for foster homes.
Thank you for listening to her story!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/shyann-skelton-173/
Use code "forgottenpod" for 10% off the Who Loves Series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
We love bringing you stories from the foster care community as a way to encourage and equip you in your foster care journey. I’m excited to be able to share my conversation with not only a foster parent and adoptive parent, but the Executive Director of a non-profit whose mission is to help aging-out youth.
My guest is Nick Sgarlata. Nick and his wife, Carrie, started fostering in 2015. Today, he works closely with aging-out youth through Bridge to Brighter in Wisconsin. Nick has three biological children, two adoptive children, has fostered 15 children, and they just renewed their foster care license.
My hope is that you will benefit from hearing about the unique work that Nick does with aging out youth and connect with his experience as a foster parent. He has a generous heart, and I’m eager to share this episode with you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nick-sgarlata-172/
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Today on the podcast, we are talking about a special kind of care in the foster care community called kinship care. Kinship care is when children are cared for by grandparents, extended family members, or unrelated adults with whom they have a close family-like relationship.
Caregivers providing kinship care often face unique challenges and abrupt changes to their life plans. In addition to dealing with the circumstances leading to the need for kinship care, their lives are overhauled with the unexpected introduction of the child now in their care.
Sharing her experience with us is Rachel Mahnke, a Certified Wellness Coach, Trauma Informed Parent, Life Coach, Therapeutic Art Facilitator, author, and adoptive parent of her biological grandchildren. When life took an unexpected turn, Rachel went from a soon-to-be empty nester to providing kinship care to her two little grandchildren.
This episode holds so much wisdom and honesty, and I am eager to share it with you!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/rachel-mahnke-171/
Use code "forgottenpod" for 10% off the Who Loves series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
The LGBTQIA+ conversation has intersected with foster care heavily in recent years and it has prompted many people in the foster care community to have questions such as: How can we care for our LGBTQ+ kids as foster parents who hold to a traditional view of marriage? How should the Church come alongside LGBTQ+ foster parents who do not hold to the traditional view of marriage? And many more.
If you are unaware of what each of the letters stands for or haven’t seen the “IA” part of LGBTQIA+ here’s what each letter represents: L – lesbian, G – gay, B – bisexual, T – transgender, Q – queer, I – intersex, A – asexual. The “+” indicates many more that could be mentioned, but I’ll pause there for now.
I’m thrilled to have Laurie Krieg with me as we navigate this topic of sexuality and gender through the lens of the Gospel. Laurie identified a default to a same-sex attraction when she was starting at five years old. She wrestled with what this meant for her Christian faith throughout her young adult life. Laurie identifies as both a Christ-follower and a part of the LGBTQ+ community and has been on the front lines of the sexuality conversation since 2014.
Today, Laurie is the president of Impossible Ministries, a coaching ministry with the mission to equip the Church with a gospel-centered approach to marriage and sexuality. Laurie is also a coach, speaker, author, podcaster, mom to three, and has a mixed-orientation marriage with her husband, Matt.
This conversation is so important, and I want to encourage you to listen in!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/laurie-krieg-170/
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I love every time I get the opportunity to talk with Jenn Hook here on the ol’ podcast! Jenn has a deep passion for the adoptive and foster care communities. She is the Founder and Executive Director of Replanted—a ministry that helps empower the Church to support adoptive and foster families by providing emotional, tangible, and informational support.
Last time I spoke with Jenn, we discussed her first book, Replanted, and navigating reunification. In this episode, Jenn is back with a new book that builds on the foundation laid by her first book. In this new book, Thriving Families, Jenn provides resources for navigating the grief children in foster care feel, maintaining relationships with biological parents, preserving the cultural background of your child, and much more.
We’re diving into some of those same topics today, and I hope our conversation is a great encouragement to you this week!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jenn-hook-169/
Use code "forgottenpod" for 10% off the Who Loves Series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
Do you have some hard questions when it comes to adoption and foster care? Maybe you’re unsure if you’re up to the challenge. Maybe you’re unsure how to best support a child in adjusting to their new circumstances. No matter what you’re facing, you’re not alone.
April Guffey is dedicated to being a resource for adoptive and foster parents, as well as the children in their care. April is an adoptee, former foster youth, and owner of Mercy and Healing, which is an adoption coaching practice. She has an incredible story of finding true wholeness through Christ and unexpectedly reconnecting with her biological father.
Through her own lived experiences as a former foster youth, April has seen the gap in services for adoptive parents and adoptees. Her passion is to fill that gap by providing a safe place to ask questions, vent, and gain new insight. Join me as April shares her story and wisdom today!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/april-guffey-168/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
I have a great episode for you this week. Children in foster care have so much going on beyond what we can see on the surface. But what is it that can sometimes cause our children to act out, rebel, or “push our buttons”? My guest today was not only a former foster child for over 7 years, but she also now works with parents to uncover how to better show up for their children, especially their teens.
Serena Rice is a Supervised Visitation Specialist, parenting coach, children’s book author, and former foster child. Her experience as a foster child influenced her to start her own coaching practice to help parents build deeper trust and strong connections with their children. In today’s episode, she shares her story of jumping from foster home to foster home, how parents can better communicate with teens in foster care, what her healing journey has looked like, and much more.
Whether you care for a teen in foster care or not, you don’t want to miss Serena’s story, perspective, and wisdom.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/serena-rice-167/
Use code "forgottenpod" for 10% off the Who Loves Series: https://www.wholovesseries.org/
TW: As part of John’s story and experience, you will hear specific descriptions and terms related to adult themes, including both physical and sexual child abuse, trafficking, and suicide. We do encourage discernment in your decision to listen or with whom you share this episode with.
I met John Gibson briefly at the Replanted Conference where he shared his story for the very first time. John is a former competition team member of Valko Brazilian Jiu-Juitsu in Chicago, IL. But at the age of just five years old, he was declared a ward of the state. After 11 homes and 2 group homes, John aged out of the foster care system. Through therapy, mentors, and lots of time, John is able to look back at everything he went through with positivity and hopefulness.
I am so grateful to John for his willingness to be open about his life experience, as well as his journey towards healing. Foster care is often a community filled with both hurt and hope, and John’s story is an honest testament to that reality. I hope his story provides valuable perspective for your own foster care journey!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/john-gibson-166/
Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi
Life is full of seasons. Sometimes those seasons are filled with joy and laughter, but other times those seasons include sorrow, grief, and loss. These hard seasons may come from the unexpected loss of a loved one or a child no longer being a direct part of your family. Today's conversation is especially for those currently walking through unexpected grief or those who love someone walking through grief.
Joining me is Tim Challies. Tim is a pastor, author, and co-founder of Cruciform Press. He had to navigate loss and grief in his own life when he unexpectedly lost his college-aged son, Nick, in 2020. As a result of walking through his own season of grief, Tim shared his family’s journey in a book titled Seasons of Sorrow: The Pain of Loss and the Comfort of God.
I deeply appreciated Tim’s openness about his story and his firm confidence in who our God is. I believe you’ll receive a lot of truth from what he has to share today.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/tim-challies-165/
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Even with Christmas morning already in our rearview mirrors, I love this time of year! Not only because of the holiday traditions, the smell of candles, our Christmas tree, and freshly baked pies in the oven. My love for this time of year is also not only because of the sounds of the Christmas music that fills my home, the crackling of the fire, or the old handmade-by-kids Christmas ornaments on the tree, but I love this time of year because it always makes me reflective. As I reflect, I can't help but see the Goodness and Faithfulness of God. What about you? How has God grown you this year? How has He shown Himself faithful?
I’m not sure what your year has looked like or what’s in store for the next. What I do know is that Christmas is good for the soul, reminding us each year of the goodness and kindness of our God in making a way for redemption.
Thank you for being on this journey with us, and we are so excited to be in this space TWICE as often. You are not alone!
It’s no secret that I love sharing stories of hope and healing. My guest today has an incredible story that includes both of those things! I met Peter at a conference recently and we quickly became friends. He is a surviving street kid, foster dad to over 18 kids, single adoptive dad, an author, speaker, and advocate for children everywhere. Wow!
Peter Mutabazi grew up in an abusive home in Uganda and eventually ran away at the age of 10. God used a man in khakis to show Peter that he was loved and valued. Today, Peter’s passion is that every child and young person, especially the forgotten, neglected, or abused, deserves to be celebrated, seen, heard, and known.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/164/
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As you may know, stepping in to support the foster care community can be messy sometimes. We are broken people stepping into broken situations. None of us are perfect, yet we are called to step into these situations anyway. My guest today has personal experience with this. Cynthia Yanof is a former attorney, foster mom, author, and host of the Pardon the Mess podcast.
When Cynthia and her husband felt the call to step into foster care, they had fears, the urge to cling to safety, and the feeling of being completely ill-equipped. Can you relate!? In spite of all their fears, they stepped out in faith and were amazed by how God provided for them on their journey.
In this episode, Cynthia shares her family’s experience of being called to foster, overcoming some common objections people have, and the values they have learned along the way. Cynthia is a dynamic bundle of energy and I know you will be blessed to hear her passion and perspective on foster care.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e13/
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It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast has been weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let's spread the word!
I have a very special guest on the podcast today. He was adopted from Guatemala at just 10-months old and he just so happens to be my son. Hudson Kaeb (or “Huds” as I like to call him) is sharing today about his story of adoption, the feelings he carries toward his birth family, and how he has processed his own story as he has gotten older. This was a really special episode for me and I am so proud of him for his openness, growth, and maturity. Hudson has shared his story in the past and I know you will be just as blessed and encouraged to hear it today!
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e12/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let's spread the word!
As many of us know, not every family gets to be reunified. In fact, in just under half (48%) of cases are children reunified with their parents. How should we respond to that reality? My guest today is unique in that she was an adoptee and also a biological mother who experienced her own children being placed in foster care. Brittany Marler’s life was turned upside-down when her mother was killed, which eventually led to her adoption by her grandparents. In our conversation, she vulnerably shares with us her experience of growing up without her birth mother, the painful circumstances that led to her to prison and surrendering her children, and their foster parents who relentlessly pursued a relationship with her.
Though Brittany’s story up to this point is not one of reunification, it is one of restoration and healing. God is doing incredible things in her life, and I am so grateful for Brittany’s openness and willingness to share her story with us here on the podcast.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e11/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let’s spread the word!
In the adoption and foster care community, we often encounter stories of brokenness and heartache. At the same time, we find stories of hope, healing, and God’s faithful purpose. For Maria “Mia” Arrington, God’s purpose and faithfulness were weaved throughout every part of her story, from being a child in foster care to an adoptee to today being a licensed social worker, therapist, wife, and mom to a beautiful daughter and stepson. In today’s episode, Mia openly shares her journey of entering foster care as a toddler, experiencing a disrupted adoption, living in a group home, eventually being adopted, and how she is using her story to spread hope and healing to others.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e10/
It’s National Adoption Month! In honor of that, the podcast will be weekly this month to provide more opportunities for you to share episodes with friends who might not know as much about foster care or adoption in order to increase awareness. Let’s spread the word!
Once you become aware of the need within the foster care community, it’s hard to focus on anything else, right? For Jessica Hurlbut, that is exactly what happened when she adopted a sibling group from foster care in 2015. Once she became aware of the needs in the foster care community, she knew she needed to display to others how they can help. In fact, she founded a run that led to the amount of foster homes in her county doubling! In today’s episode, Jessica shares her journey of advocacy, how to push past the fluff and be real, what it’s been like to be a mother to five children, and much more.
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e9/
Today’s episode is a special one! Not long ago my team and I got to spend the weekend at Replanted Conference, a conference in Naperville, Illinois, that provides a time away for caregivers to be refreshed, equipped, and inspired. While there, I had the privilege of speaking at some breakout sessions and also doing a live recording for this podcast! I sat down with Jessie and Carrie, whose stories are connected and intertwined in powerful ways. This was a very inspiring conversation, and I'm glad I can share it with you today!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13replanted
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Joey & Sadie Dodson are about as involved in the foster care community as you can get! They are foster and adoptive parents themselves, Joey was adopted when he was a child, and Sadie is currently working as a Family Care Manager at a non-profit working with churches and families to foster and adopt. Sadie also leads various TBRI and trauma-informed trainings.
Join us as we have a conversation about how the desire to learn can help us be better equipped (not just as foster or adoptive parents, but as people), why it’s okay to feel like you are not fully equipped, how to look at the foster care journey through an attachment lens, and what it looks like to carry moment-by-moment dependence on God.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e8/
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Foster care is full of confusing, and often conflicting, emotions. How do we handle those emotions? How do we prepare ourselves for hard transitions? And how do we champion reunification as often as we can? My guest today is no stranger to those feelings as both a foster parent and a case manager at an agency in Texas. In today’s conversation, Amanda Irby shares her experience fostering 10 children in a little over two years, how her perception of biological families has shifted, what a day in her life as an agency worker is like, how she’s been learning to say those hard goodbyes, and much more. I greatly appreciate her passion for this work, and for reunification specifically. Listen in!
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Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e7/
When we talk about breaking the cycle of trauma, there is no clearer example of this than in the life of DeAntwann “DJ” Johnson. DJ experienced a traumatic childhood that included child abuse, domestic abuse, homelessness, and emotional trauma. As a result of his family life, he entered the Indiana foster care system when he was about 10 years old. As DJ grew up in foster care and entered adulthood, he began to peel back the layers of his story to uncover cycles of trauma and embark on his own healing journey. In this episode, we talk about DJ’s story, how he is working to break generational cycles of trauma, how to cultivate empathy for others, and so much more. I loved this conversation and I know you will too!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e6/
Learn more about the TFI Advocate role: https://www.tfiadvocate.org/
In the foster care community, we often encounter stories full of pain, hardship, trauma, and difficulties. With each story, we can’t help but consider that this isn’t how God intended life to be. Even so, God is faithful, just like He has been in the life of today’s guest, Sean Myers.
Sean, a pastor in Peoria, AZ, had a tough childhood. His parents struggled with drug addiction, and he experienced homelessness, foster care, instability, and more. In the midst of all the difficulty, God had a greater plan for him that included salvation, adoption, community, and a future full of hope.
In this episode, you’ll hear why the safety of what’s familiar is often more desirable for children in foster care, why the Church needs to be even more involved in supporting the foster care community, the importance of community in discipleship and growth, and so much more. This is one you don’t want to miss!
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e5/
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Whatever your role is in the foster care community, your life looks different from the lives of many others. You have some unique values that guide your decisions and lean your heart toward the foster care community. In difficult times, being able to actually name those values is core to being able to cling to your passion and purpose in life.
My guest today is Beau Johnson, who is not only an expert in helping others find their motivation and purpose at The Table Group, a company led by Patrick Lencioni, but he has also been a foster parent for twelve years. In this episode, Beau helps us consider the importance of setting family values, some insights from his experience as a foster parent, and how the roles we have to fill can either fulfill or frustrate us.
Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/s13e4/
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Imagine going from zero children to five children overnight. That’s the story you’ll hear today! When Kristal and Jared Black decided to start a family, they quickly realized that their path would be different than they expected it to be. While walking through infertility and then an expected adoption that ended unexpectedly, God was working in their hearts to overcome the fear of foster care and open them up to other possibilities. Little did they know that God would take them on a journey that was even crazier (and even better) than they could have expected! In this episode, listen in as Kristal shares her family’s journey, what she learned in a long season of waiting, how she and her husband have navigated such a big transition, and the work God did in her along the way.
Imagine going from zero children to five children overnight. That’s the story you’ll hear today! When Kristal and Jared Black decided to start a family, they quickly realized that their path would be different than they expected it to be. While walking through infertility and then an expected adoption that ended unexpectedly, God was working in their hearts to overcome the fear of foster care and open them up to other possibilities. Little did they know that God would take them on a journey that was even crazier (and even better) than they could have expected! In this episode, listen in as Kristal shares her family’s journey, what she learned in a long season of waiting, how she and her husband have navigated such a big transition, and the work God did in her along the way.
Foster care rarely looks the way you expect it to, even in the “best” of circumstances. My guest today has been in the foster care community both as a foster parent and as an advocate. Caring for a child with secondary trauma has caused Jillana Goble to change her definition of “normal” and recognize the deep importance of walking alongside a child on their unique life journey. Jillana is a speaker, author, advocate, and parent whose greatest passion is to encourage other families that are loving children from hard places. Jillana’s honesty and insight was so valuable; this truly is an episode you don’t want to miss!
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We all have habits in our life, both good and bad. In the words of today’s guest, “Our habits don’t change God’s love for us, but God’s love for us should change our habits.” Today I’m talking with Justin Whitmel Earley, a lawyer, speaker, and author of both Habits of Household and The Common Rule, and he knows a thing or two about creating habits. When it comes to our own life, intentional habits help form our heart towards the things that are most important. When it comes to our family, intentional habits communicate to our family what they should value and how they should spend their time.
As you likely know, intentionality in our lives doesn’t have to happen through “big” things; instead, a life of intentionality is formed by how we approach ordinary, every-day moments like mealtimes, bedtimes, and discipline. Today, Justin and I talk about how he has recovered from a distracted life, why it’s so hard for us to slow down today, how to form and stick with new habits, and so much more. I loved our conversation and I can’t wait to share it with you!
Over 12 seasons, 165 stories have been shared on this podcast. How cool is that!?
We just closed out Season 12 of The Forgotten Podcast, and it was once again our most listened-to season of the podcast ever! This season alone had over 100,000 downloads. So incredible! In today’s bonus episode, I am joined again by Mitch Nelson, our Creative Director here at TFI, to reflect on some of our favorite moments and takeaways from Season 12.
Creating and sharing this podcast is such a privilege and honor to us, and we hope revisiting some of these conversations and highlights is as encouraging for you as it is for us. We can’t thank you enough for listening, sharing, and supporting this podcast, and we look forward to the conversations to come in Season 13!
Today I’m talking with Josh Ballard, who has a passion for foster care and building a community to support other foster dads. As a result of this passion, Josh started Flexible Fatherhood, a group (and a podcast!) that provides foster dads with educational resources and community to give them confidence in raising the next generation of children. In our conversation, Josh and I talk about his family’s journey to becoming aware of the need in foster care, how their perspective has expanded since taking this step, myths about fostering teenagers that need to be debunked, encouragement for other foster parents, and so much more.
Today, I am joined by renowned author, speaker, pastor, marriage counselor, and adoptive parent, Paul Tripp. You may be familiar with Paul from any number of his 30+ books such as New Morning Mercies, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, and Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make. He truly is an incredible voice we have the opportunity to learn from today!
In this episode, Paul shares his personal calling to provide a place for those that need it and how that led to opening their home to their adoptive daughter. We also dig into the Gospel need for place each of us have, how we are called to be tools of God’s generosity, why our lives should lead to transformation in ourselves and others, and so much more. This was a meaningful conversation that I hope is an encouragement to you!
Hasn’t this month been incredible?It is so important to learn from others and expand our perspective. If you missed it, for National Foster Care Awareness Month, we have highlighted stories every week from each perspective of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children—because every member of the foster care community matters and has a story to tell.
I remember when my eyes were first opened to foster care, and I remember the feeling deep in my gut that I had to do something. I’ve grown and learned so much since that day, and my perspective has continued to grow from hearing the stories this last month. I hope you have found these conversations encouraging and challenging as well.
In today’s shorter episode, I’m closing out our series for National Foster Care Awareness Month and sharing the unique way that our work here at The Forgotten Initiative fits into the foster care community.
Thank you so much for joining me this month! More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone.
Will you join us on this mission to see people everywhere supporting the foster care community and experiencing Jesus together? Join Team 3:10 today.
https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/ Did you know that May is National Foster Care Awareness Month? To help raise awareness of this community that we love so dearly, things are looking a little different this month on the podcast. Every week this month, we are highlighting stories from each perspective of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children—because every member of the foster care community matters and has a story to tell.
In this episode, I am joined by Kristen Lucero, a former foster child who is now a licensed foster parent. By the time she was adopted at age 5, she had already lived in three different homes. Although Kristen remembers feeling grateful to be adopted, she found herself struggling with abandonment, self-worth, belonging, and identity until she was 22 years old. Today, Kristen shares with us the importance of recognizing that God is expressing His love for us through the people He has placed in our lives and the importance for parents to hold fast to their calling even when a child makes it difficult.
Support our podcast and listen with a purpose! - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
Did you know that May is National Foster Care Awareness Month? To help raise awareness of this community that we love so dearly, things are looking a little different this month on the podcast. Every week this month, we are highlighting stories from each perspective of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children—because every member of the foster care community matters and has a story to tell.
In this episode, I am joined by Tiffany Shaw. Tiffany is a biological parent whose three children entered foster care after she was reported to the Department of Children and Family Services as a result of drug addiction. Today, she graciously shares with us the difficult circumstances that led to her relapse and homelessness, as well as the significant relationship that led to her recovery from drugs and reunification with her children. Tiffany’s story is full of redemption, and I am so grateful for her willingness to join me for this conversation.
https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
Did you know that May is National Foster Care Awareness Month? To help raise awareness of this community that we love so dearly, things are looking a little different this month on the podcast. Every week this month, we are highlighting stories from each perspective of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children—because every member of the foster care community matters and has a story to tell.
In this episode, I’m talking with Jessica Mathisen. In addition to being a foster parent, she is an author and the Executive Director of Restoration Women, an organization that equips women in Athens, GA with life and job skills to empower them to walk in freedom and bring restoration to their homes and community. Today, Jessica openly shares about her fostering journey, how she’s learned to navigate fear and insecurity, how she finds the strength to face each day as a foster parent, the immeasurable value she has found in community, and more. I loved this episode and hope it’s an encouragement to you!
Today, I’m talking with Delaney Burns, who is an agency worker. Delaney grew up in a home where her parents fostered, which solidified her interest in becoming a foster care caseworker. In this episode, she shares openly about the hardest parts of her job, what a day in her life looks like, what she’s been learning through navigating hard situations, and the hope she holds on to through it all.
https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/
For so many in the foster care community, the passion for foster care or adoption started through awareness at an early age. This is the story for Jessie Barnes. While other teenagers were searching for music videos, she was searching for adoption stories and begging her parents to consider adoption, leading her mom to suggest she take licensing classes (as a high schooler!) to learn about foster care as well. When Jessie grew up and had a family of her own, she became a foster parent herself, and is now a TFI Advocate launching a foster care ministry in Dubuque, Iowa.
In today’s episode, Jessie shares how God placed the passion for foster care in her heart, how her involvement has shifted with each season of life, her journey of battling feelings of inadequacy, what her experience has been like in partnering with TFI, and how she is learning to live with God-confidence. Jessie has such a beautiful heart for this work, and you don’t want to miss this one!
(P.S. Applications to become a TFI Advocate are officially OPEN in the month of April! Apply today!)
Foster care is hard, and it can often feel confusing. It can be even more confusing when you’re rooting for reunification, and alternative outcomes you weren’t prepared for are pursued.
Dorothy Mendoza and her husband, Chris, began fostering because they wanted to see children reunified with their biological parents. In their first 3 years as foster parents, they fostered 9 children, and only one of those cases ended in reunification, while the others ended in an alternative outcome (not reunification or adoption by the foster parents). This was a surprise to them that brought its own challenging emotions and difficult choices. In today’s episode, Dorothy and I talk about what some alternative outcomes are, how to navigate hard transitions and goodbyes in foster care, why we should run towards brokenness, and much more. I hope this episode is an encouragement to you!
Jamie Finn is back on the podcast this week! On top of being a foster parent, Jamie is the host of the Real Mom Podcast, co-founder of Goods & Better, and the director of Foster the Family. Most recently, Jamie authored Foster the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent, which covers the rewards and challenges in foster care that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. In this episode, we talk with Jamie about the process of writing her new book, the ins and outs of being a foster parent, how God has been continuing to grow her personally, the right motivation for self-care, and how we can still trust God when the brokenness of the system feels heavy.
With 20,000 teens aging out of the foster care system each year and many of them unprepared to navigate adult life, this is a real crisis. The need for families who are passionate about teen foster children is great. In today’s episode, we are talking with Peter Amico. Peter and his wife are foster parents who are passionate about finding families that are willing to show up for teens in the foster care system. Peter and I talk about the unique challenges teens in foster care face, the most important thing you can do when caring for teens in foster care, an exhortation to the Church, and much more. I know you’ll find today’s episode challenging and filled with so much truth.
If you are part of the foster care community, you likely have seen the impact trauma has on a child. It can affect how a child learns, their ability to feel safe, how they view the world, and even cause them to question who they are. In this episode, we are joined by Tina Bauer. Tina was a former foster youth who was adopted at the age of four along with her biological brother and has spent a lifetime sorting through the trauma in her past. Now, she is a proud college graduate, third-grade teacher, and has been married for over two years.
In today’s episode, Tina graciously shares her story with us, how her adoptive parents gently helped her navigate her past, advice for foster and adoptive parents, and more. Tina is an incredible woman, and I am so grateful to be sharing her story with you today.
Today I have a story of abundant resilience and defiant hope to share with you. In this episode we get to hear from Sandhya Oaks, a Transracial Adoptee adopted from India at the age of one. When she turned 18 years old, after years of experiencing trauma, Sandhya was disowned by her adoptive family. As she has intentionally worked on healing from the past of being an orphan for the first year of her life and from the pain her adoptive family brought, Sandhya has learned the importance of addressing the pain of the past and redeeming her perspective of forgiveness. This episode is powerful, and we are so grateful to Sandhya for sharing her story and being open about her journey of healing.
Brandon and Cherith Craft are no strangers to doing hard things. In fact, it is such a part of who they are that they put it in their family mantra: “We’re Crafts. We do hard things and we try new things.” But when God nudged them to start foster care nearly 10 years ago, their initial response was, We don’t think we can do this right now. Several years later, God would prompt them again to foster and this time their answer would change. Through fostering five children in five years and becoming TFI Advocates in Baton Rouge, LA, they’ve learned to do the hard things, rely on God, and listen to what their family needs in every season. I know their story will be an encouragement to you today!
Welcome to Season 12 of The Forgotten Podcast! To kick it off, I have a helpful conversation with Emily Smithhart, an incredible woman who is a biological and foster mom, as well as a TFI Advocate in Sacramento County, CA! In addition to hearing her story and experiences fostering, we’re breaking down what it looks like to get involved with foster care! You’ll hear Emily share about adjusting expectations, how to get started, navigating placement calls, learning to root for reunification, and more. This is one you don’t want to miss!
(And if you’re currently considering foster care, this episode is an especially great place to start.)
We just closed out Season 11 of The Forgotten Podcast, and it was our most listened-to season of the podcast ever! SO exciting! In today’s bonus episode, I am joined by Mitch Nelson, our Creative Director here at TFI, to reflect on some of our favorite moments and takeaways from Season 11.
Creating and sharing this podcast is such a privilege and honor to us, and we hope revisiting some of these conversations and highlights is as encouraging for you as it is for us. We can’t thank you enough for listening, sharing, and supporting this podcast, and we look forward to experiencing Season 12 alongside you in the new year!
Want to catch some of the episodes we talked about today? You can find them here:
- S11E4: Prayerful Decisions: Saying Yes and No (w/ AJ & Katrina Nowaczyk)
- S11E7: The Road Back to Reunification (w/ Brenna Hunter)
- S11E8: Scarred Hands: How Ministry Through Foster Care Changs Us (w/ James Drayer)
- S11E6: When God Directs Your Passion (w/ Leah Johnson)
Tod and Gretchen Sawyer’s world was turned upside down when they lost their first biological daughter. They decided to honor her memory by sponsoring a child through the local Department of Social Services, which was the beginning of their foster care journey. God led them to become aware, which led them to take action. In addition to being some of our newest TFI Advocates in Aiken County, SC, Tod & Gretchen have been foster parents for ten years now. Above all else, God has shown them again and again how His plan for their life was different, and better, than their own. I hope this conversation will be an encouragement to you!
Content / Trigger Warning: This episode does contain mentions and descriptions of abuse, rape, attempted suicide, self-harm, and trauma. If any of this may be triggering for you, we recommend you either listen carefully, listen with someone else, or you may even consider skipping this episode.
Tricia Collins’ primary memory from her childhood was one of fear. Tricia grew up in and aged out of the foster care system after she was the victim of horrific abuse at the hand of her dad. But through the people God placed in her life, she overcame obstacles and started to find healing from what was done to her. In this conversation, Tricia openly shares her story, how God worked through other people to pursue her, what it has looked like for her to experience healing, and the eternal impact one foster family had on her life. Today, she is the Director of Missional Impact at Child Bridge in Montana, connecting the church to the needs of children in foster care and asking them to step in and make a difference like Jesus did for us. Tricia’s story is an absolute glory to God, and we are grateful to share it with you today.
Did you know there’s a lot of crossover between the characteristics that make someone vulnerable to human trafficking and common characteristics of children in foster care? Did you also know that a significant percentage of victims nationwide have a history in the child welfare system?
Whether you are a foster parent, adoptive parent, or someone that wants to learn how to spot the warning signs of human trafficking, we all have a duty to be aware of what those are. In this episode, I’m talking with Meghan Reedy, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and the Clinical Director of Eden's Glory, a restoration home for adult survivors of human trafficking. She shares about the women they have been able to support at Eden’s Glory, how traffickers will typically prey on disadvantaged people, common red flags you should be on the lookout for, how she remains
hopeful through the heartache, and a whole lot more.
If you are a victim of human trafficking or know someone else who may be, call the Human Trafficking Hot Line at 888-373-7888 or text 233-733
Trent Taylor’s earliest memories are filled with abuse and extreme neglect. These circumstances led to entering foster care at the age of four where he would remain until he was nine years old. After he was adopted, it was a long and painful process to establish trust and work through the trauma he had experienced, but he found that there was hope. In this episode, Trent shares some of the common misconceptions people have about foster children, how to support a child working through trauma, the reality that healing requires pain, and a look back on his own story and how God is using his life in some incredible ways.
This episode honestly hit me hard. I was an emotional wreck by the end! If you’ve ever wondered how foster care would affect your biological children, if you are feeling the weight of it all right now, or if you grew up in a family that did foster care, this episode is for you.
James Drayer was just four years old when his parents became houseparents at Gateway Woods, a ministry that offers Christ-centered social services in northeast Indiana, including Residential Childcare, On-Grounds Schooling, Foster Care, Gateway Farms, Adoption, and the LARC Program.
In this heartfelt conversation, James shares with us what it was like to grow up helping kids with trauma, the impact that experience has had on him throughout his life, and how God transformed his heart to follow in his parents footsteps. I’m praying you will feel seen, and refreshed, as you listen!
Today I have a special conversation that I’m excited to share with you. Most often, we view the world of foster care through the lens of foster parents, former foster youth, or those that support foster families and children. But today we get to hear Brenna Hunter’s story, a parent that had her kids removed and walked the path back to reunification. Brenna graciously shares her journey of growing up in a Christian, homeschool family, struggling with insecurities and an unhealthy relationship with food, the circumstances that led to her two children entering foster care, placing her dependency on Jesus, and the journey that ultimately led to reunification. Her story is powerful and I really appreciated Brenna joining me for this conversation. This episode holds some important reminders to both foster parents and biological parents alike. No matter your role, there is hope and you are not alone!
Friends, I have such a fun episode to share with you today! Isn’t it crazy how God can redirect our passions to make a difference in ways we never dreamed possible? This is Leah Johnson’s story. Leah lives in North Carolina and has been a TFI Advocate in Mitchell and Yancey Counties for over a year now and she is sharing how God has used her passion to lead her on a journey to ultimately partner with us at TFI. In this episode, she shares her story, the incredible God stories of being able to provide for various needs in her community, what her relationship has been like with local agencies, becoming God-conscious instead of self-conscious, and more. Hoping this conversation is an encouragement to you today!
You can sign up now to make a difference in your community: tfiadvocate.org
From the age of 15, Javian Shipley felt the desire to foster. It’s a calling she has passionately carried with her into her marriage and is living out today. But her journey has not been easy. In addition to the challenges of being a foster parent, she has also walked through infertility. In this episode, Javian shares what she has learned through the grief and pain of her own story, how she and her husband found unity in their decision to foster, why we need to be intentional about our perspective towards biological parents, the value of anchor Scriptures, and how God has continued to show up again and again and again.
My guests today know what it feels like to say “no.” AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk have fostered nine children, so far. And while they didn’t set out to only foster, they have learned a lot whenever the opportunity to adopt one of their foster kids came up. In many cases, circumstances pointed to needing to say “no.”
If you’ve ever felt the internal struggle between yes and no, I hope this episode is a support for you and a reminder that there’s simply no perfect formula for making hard decisions.
It’s not uncommon for us to talk about the unique balance of brokenness and beauty in foster care. In this episode, I am joined by someone who has experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly of the foster care system. Darren Morris is a father and husband, a store manager of a Starbucks, small business owner, and founder of a soon-to-be nonprofit, A Foster’s Hope. He entered the foster care system at the age of four and was eventually adopted eight years later into a family that now has 17 kids. (You read that right! 17!) In this honest conversation, Darren shares the impact of being a young kid bouncing around in the system, how his foster care experience has shaped who he is today, the value of mentors in his life, the redemption he’s seen in his story, and how he’s navigated trauma and overwhelming emotions.
Britanie Ramirez and her family have said “yes” to opening their home 26 times. Like all of us, Britanie started out with some preconceived ideas about the goal of fostering but, through her journey, God has taught her about the meaningful and challenging realities of stepping into a family’s brokenness. In this conversation, she shares about seeing collateral beauty in brokenness, recognizing what we’re actually rooting for as foster parents, why it’s 100% worth it to step into foster care, and reminders to celebrate the small wins. I know you’ll be encouraged by this one!
What impact does a safe adult have in a child’s life? It’s nearly impossible to measure. In this episode, we have the incredible privilege to welcome Jaymi Matranga, who has experience across the gamut of foster care. Jaymi is not only a social worker today, but also a foster and adoptive parent (she took her first placement at 19!), and was in the foster care system herself. She was removed from her home at the age of 13 and considers herself to be one of the “lucky” ones as she truly felt heard and supported in a unique way by her caseworker. I know you’ll be inspired by her story and supported by the wisdom she has to share!
Does your child ever just get on your last nerve? Have you had a meltdown of your own after a really hard day? Does it feel like your parenting techniques that have worked with other kids in your care just aren't working anymore? As parents, we’ve all experienced this more times than we would care to count. When our kids have significant trauma in their past, and we have our own triggers from our past, it can make for a really challenging journey.
Ryan and Kayla North know firsthand what that is like! They have 10 years under their belt as foster parents and today they develop training and programs on childhood trauma. Join me as Ryan and Kayla share perspective shifts we need when raising kids with traumatic backgrounds, how our own childhood trauma may be impacting our relationship with our kids, practical ways to parent with connection as the primary goal, why we can’t care for our children if we’re not caring for ourselves, and so much more. This was such a rich episode, and I look forward to hearing what stands out most to you!
Chris and Jihae Watson are just two of the “Watson Nine” as they affectionately call their family. Over half of their children have come by way of adoption and they have been foster parents for six years. In today’s episode, my friends share how their relationship started, the joys and hard lessons they’ve picked up along the way, how they manage such a large family, and the importance of our role as foster, adoptive, and biological parents. I can’t wait to share this conversation with you!
When Jonathan Pitts took his wife of 15 years into his arms for their anniversary dance, he had no idea that within a month he would be on a completely different journey, navigating life after Wynter's sudden death at the age of 38.
Have you experienced loss? Difficult times? Frustrating circumstances? Most of us have felt grief at some point in our lives. In this episode, Jonathan openly shares his own experience of grief through the unexpected passing of his late wife, Wynter. He also shares how he has learned to be willing to process grief, how God shows up during difficult times, and his outlook on future hardships. This is such a powerful and honest conversation on how we can respond to difficult circumstances.
Today’s guest is familiar with saying goodbyes. Jamie Finn, host of the Real Mom Podcast, co-founder of Goods & Better, and the director of Foster the Family, has fostered many children over the years. In this episode, she shares her heart for foster care, how to renew and reorient your mind to do this work well, one of the most difficult decisions she’s ever made, and how she has coped with the fleetingness of fostering as well as the emotions that come along with it. If you are new to fostering or if you’ve been in this world a while, I know you will be encouraged and blessed by Jamie’s perspective!
If you are a long-time listener, you may notice this is an off-week for the podcast. Last month, we celebrated 10 years as a ministry! As we enter National Foster Care Month this month, what better time to imagine and reflect together on how we can continue to support our nation's foster care community effectively? In this bonus episode, I take some time to reflect on the last 10 years and share a little bit of what we're dreaming about here at The Forgotten Initiative!
Today’s guests are some of my favorite people and are no strangers to the call to foster or adopt. Jamey and Sarah McIntosh are TFI Advocates in Chippewa Valley, WI who felt the pull to this work early in their lives (even before they were married!). They have such a big heart for foster care, adoption, and advocacy. I hope you will be inspired by their journey and the lessons they have picked up along the way, how God has shaped them in the waiting periods, and even how they’ve learned to let go of control.
Each of us have a story. Hard seasons. Beautiful seasons. And times where we’ve seen God’s faithfulness. And today, I’m excited to share the powerful story of my guest, Annie Marek-Barta. Annie grew up in an unsafe home that ultimately led her to decide she would take her own life. Through a series of God-ordained conversations and events, she found hope and healing. In today’s conversation, she shares that whole story, what it was like to enter foster care at the age of 17, and the emotional experience of being adopted at 26. (And yes, that’s a thing!) I hope this episode inspires you and reminds you of the faithfulness of our God and why you do what you do.
Did you know that we’re celebrating 10 years of ministry this month!? God has truly been so faithful!
And what better way to celebrate than to share such a special conversation on the podcast?
This week’s guest is Amanda Auer, a mom of 4 who has an incredible story walking through a difficult journey of kinship care. You’ll hear her talk about what it was like to be educated about trauma on-the-fly, how challenging circumstances make our faith more concrete, what it looks like to live a life of compassion and surrender, and so much more. This conversation was incredibly rich, and I was just soaking in everything she said. I look forward to hearing what stands out to you!
Today’s episode is about a topic that’s actually quite common, but doesn’t often get talked about: food trauma. This episode is so informative, practical, and inspiring. My guest is Christa Jordan, who is an adoptive mom. She and her husband also both have a background in social work before they began careers as full-time writers. Christa is passionate about natural health, and equipping and encouraging others along the journey.
There is nothing I love more than hearing about God’s faithfulness in the midst of difficult situations, and that’s exactly what today’s episode is all about. Shaq Hardy is a youth pastor in Chattanooga, TN who spent the first 10 years of his life in foster care. Today, he openly shares about his experience in multiple foster homes, the challenge of living with Reactive Attachment Disorder, the hope he so clearly found in Jesus, and so much more. And towards the end of our conversation, he even shares a piece of spoken word poetry he wrote to process his life experience. Shaq’s story alone is powerful, but his perspective is even more compelling. Listen in!
Today’s guest truly is an inspiration. Dani Brewer is a full-time wedding and family photographer, a single foster parent, as well as a transracial adoptee. She shares about how God prompted her to step in to foster care even though she didn't feel ready and she shares honestly about how she’s been able to effectively care for a now-16-month-old and 4-month-old as a single mom, the barriers she’s overcome, and the irreplaceable value of strong community. Her spirit is so encouraging, and I look forward to hearing what stands out to you in this conversation!
I am so excited to be sharing this episode! My guest today has such a powerful story that needs to be shared. Born in India, Shreya Ramachandran was brought to the U.S. at only two years old. She struggled with her identity and culture growing up. She lost her father when she was ten years old. After this, a series of events led her into foster care, where she ultimately had to testify against her mother and abuser in court. And through it all, God’s presence and His Word were the anchors that kept her grounded. Her story inspired me, and I look forward to hearing how it impacts you as well.
To kick off Season 10, meet Toni Collier. Toni experienced a lot of brokenness in her home life growing up and is now the Co-Lead Pastor of Hillsong Atlanta and the Founder of Broken Crayons Still Color. In today’s conversation, she shares openly about tending our own brokenness, finding hope in the midst of pain, learning to value excellence over perfectionism, the importance of community, and a whole lot more. I believe this conversation will encourage you today and remind you that hurt and hope truly can coexist.
Before we kick-off Season 10 of The Forgotten Podcast, I have something special for you! I recently brought one of our podcast guests from Season 8, Gaelin Elmore, to the stage at an event that is dear to me with our friends in ministry, Lifesong for Orphans. Gaelin gave us insight into his experience of foster care. Beyond sharing his experience, though, Gaelin has a passion for encouraging others! He threw out a challenge to the live audience at the end of our interview that was so good. I pray it's a challenge that you'll take to heart too. I don't want to tell you more now because I want you to hear it directly from him. So, listen in as Gaelin shares his story and his call to action for you.
Parenting is hard work, and sometimes we wish there was a perfect formula we could use to make it easier. We seek parenting hacks and different tips to help streamline our lives, and while some of those things are helpful, most of the time, we still feel there’s something missing. We’re left wondering, “What’s the formula for success in parenting?”
My guest, Julie Lowe, is here to tell us that there isn’t a formula for successful parenting. But don’t be discouraged. God has already given us everything we need to parent well in his Word. Julie explores this topic in her book, Child Proof: Parenting by Faith, Not Formula. In this episode, Julie shares with us what it means to parent by faith, describes how this can play out in our homes, and explains why parenting methods based on biblical principles always work.
Today, I get to introduce you to someone who means a lot to my family. Brayden has been a part of our extended family for a long time through his mentor relationship with my dad. And let me tell you—we love this young man. Brayden’s journey through the foster care system started when he was only eight years old. Recently, we sat down to talk through this experience, how his mentor impacted his life and his plans for the future. I am so thankful for Brayden’s willingness to share his story so that we can better understand what it’s like to walk through foster care. Learning from the experiences of others helps us grow and love one another better.
My guest, Vermon Pierre, understands foster care because not only does he live it as a foster parent, but he is leading his church and community to think about foster care through the lens of the gospel. And what is at the heart of the gospel message? Redemption and Restoration. In today’s conversation, we talk through the difference between foster care and adoption, why the church is uniquely equipped to support families in crisis, and practical ways the church can engage in this work. I pray it is an encouragement to you as you think through how to walk out your faith in caring for families in crisis. You can be an instrument that the Lord uses to bring healing and offer hope.
Working together towards a common goal can both be extremely rewarding and incredibly challenging! Like my husband said recently about parenting, "We are imperfect humans, raising imperfect humans; why are we surprised when it doesn't go well?!" It seems to apply to working with people too. This is why we must show up with humility and understanding.
Our children in foster care rely on us to work together as a team, and in the foster care space, this team is made up of foster parents, biological parents, and agency workers. My guest, foster dad, and ministry leader, Peter Greer, helps us understand how we can come together on behalf of our children and navigate the complexities of foster care as allies rather than adversaries. Ooh, this is going to be a good one!
Saying goodbye to the child you've been caring for is one of the most heart-wrenching times as a foster parent. Every foster parent knows to prepare for this time, but that doesn't make the reality easy or the pain less.
As you prepare for them to make this transition well, it can be overwhelming to know what or how to do it. What are the right words to say? How do I help them navigate their feelings?
And then, if there are other children in the house who are staying—whether they are biological, adopted, or have a different case in foster care—they, too, have to navigate the hard goodbye.
So many hearts to care for, not to mention, your own.
Jenn has some incredible insight and practical tools to guide us towards these hard goodbyes with honor and intentionality.
The journey to reunification is never an easy road. The emotional toll of the process is draining, yet there is beauty in the restoration of families. Today, I get the honor of introducing you to a dad who has walked a very difficult road but has been an overcomer in many ways, including working through the foster care system to reunite with his precious little girl. Jay's story is incredible. He shares what his life was like growing up and how he found himself involved with the foster care system. And as a special treat, Liz, the foster mom who cared for his little girl, joined us in the conversation too! She shares what it was like to meet Jay for the first time, and what their relationship looks like today. This conversation was an encouragement to my soul, and I know it will be for you too.
I love being in the host seat week after week. Each conversation and story is an invitation toward growth and understanding! Today is no different, as my guest, Peter Reeves, shares his perspective. Peter is a pastor, leader, husband, and dad. He and his wife stepped into foster care over a year ago after battling years of heartbreaking infertility. Peter recognizes that his perspective is uncommon; he's a black man raising white children. He shares what that's like with us, but he also isn't defined by this. I can't wait for you to hear him talk about how he intentionally navigates being part of a multiracial family in 2020.
There is a lot of pain and turmoil throughout our nation for our black and brown brothers and sisters. I've been wrestling with it, trying to be still and listen as I continue to learn. I've been having conversations with friends who are gracious to share their experiences with me. As a white adoptive mom of brown and black kids, I know that I have an added responsibility to prepare my kids for what culture may say to them. I realize that I can't speak to them from my personal experience on this specific issue, which is difficult for me. I already hurt for them with the pain and loss they experience surrounding their adoptions, and knowing that they may also be affected by racism hurts. I'm thankful for tools like Trillia Newbell's children's book, God's Very Good Idea, that help me frame our conversations around God's truth. In our conversation together, and in her book, Trillia centers her thoughts about race and diversity around God, his good designs for people, where it all went wrong, and why there is still hope.
Today we're diving into foster parenting expectations! Austin and Larisa Savage, a great young couple, joined me in the studio to talk about what their foster parenting experience has been so far. They are one year in, and their story comes with a unique twist, but one thing is for sure, foster parenting has not been what they expected! Preparing for the unknown is hard, but I think this conversation is a great step in the right direction. I often say about adoption, "Expect the unexpected." The same is true for foster care. Refining expectations is the name of the game! Austin and Larisa have walked where you are going, or maybe already are, and they're ready to share their experience with you!
Two hearts moving towards the same end goal at the same speed isn't always the way it works itself out in marriage. God has wired each of us differently, and there is beauty in that. And yet, when one spouse has a deep passion that the other doesn't share to the same degree, it's challenging to know how to move forward. We see this in the decision of whether or not to become foster parents. Sometimes, both spouses agree, but more often than not, God nudges one spouse forward before the other. What do you do then? Jason Johnson and I have some thoughts that will help you navigate this windy road. It never feels good to be the nagging spouse, and it also isn't fun to be the one being nagged. We can actually come out stronger and more united as a couple if we're willing to slowly take steps forward in this important decision, and we're ready to share more about what those steps are.
Today's conversation is hard. I just need to tell you that from the get-go. Foster care always comes with some level of brokenness—that I've come to recognize. I wish that brokenness wasn't a thing. I wish we were living in a world that didn't know sadness or pain. As I listened to Bianca tell her story of enduring sexual abuse and then entering foster care, I felt the heaviness with her. She suffered at the hands of those meant to protect her, and her story doesn't have the ending that I wish it did. Yes, Bianca has gone on to do incredible things, to achieve in ways that showcase her commitment and drive. I wanted more closure for her. I wanted justice to work itself out in her story. I wanted Bianca to tell me that though she experienced incredible pain and shame because of sexual abuse, that she has been vindicated under the law. I am thankful for Jesus working in her life. I am thankful for the therapy she received. I am thankful that she sees the purpose in her pain, that God showed her she had to keep going, to be a beacon of light to others. I am thankful for the education and success she has had. And I grieve that she suffered. I need you to listen with me, to sit with me in her story, so that we can walk away with a better understanding of how we might be able to step in, to identify warning signs for other children, and to know how to walk with victims.
The last few months of various levels of isolation and quarantine have been a challenge for all of us, I know. For my family, the additional time together hasn’t always yielded the best results. We’ve been more impatient with one another, struggled through some conflict, and had to problem solve in new ways that we didn’t have to before quarantine. Yet, ultimately, we all feel safe and loved.
But this is not the case for so many in my community and around our world. For many families, the level of stress has soared to its highest levels. With employment changes—either forcing parents home or leaving parents unemployed—the toll on family life has been hard. Combined with fewer outlets for childcare and extra activities, families are at risk and have fewer eyes on them to make sure everyone is safe.
As we move towards the school year—whatever that looks like in your area—more kids will be seen and heard. With that lens, my friend and today’s guest, Molly Evans, talks about how to spot warning signs of abuse and neglect. It’s not easy to talk about, but if we’re going to care for families, it means speaking up so that more support can be given.
We became a big family suddenly through foster care—growing by 3 kids in 5 months and doubling the number of children in our home. Not long after, we added one more to our crew through our second international adoption, rounding out the total to 7 children. Growing up, I wanted to be a mom, but I didn't anticipate I'd be a mom to 7! Parenting has its unique challenges. Parenting children who have experienced trauma has its challenges. And parenting 7 children comes with its own level of chaos. I can say for certain that I don't do it perfectly; I've learned some tips and tricks along the way. So, if you're like me and trying to create order in your home and need new strategies, this one is for you. You don't have to be a mom of 7 to implement these tips. Choose what's right for you and your family. I had the chance to share this message at The Replanted Conference last fall, but I want to let you in on it, too. We are better when we share with one another.
Since his very first memory, life for my guest, Gaelin Elmore, has been about the struggle for control. He couldn't control his parents' addictions. He couldn't control whether he went into foster care. He couldn't control where and with whom he was placed. He couldn't control what happened inside the home. He could only control his own behaviors, so that's what he held onto tightly. It was a way to cope, to temporarily ease the pain. What Gaelin didn't anticipate was that there were people, and far greater, a God who was worthy of his trust. He didn't have to be the one to muster up the strength on his own, but God in his kindness was there, holding him through all the hard. His trauma displays itself in relationships with people still, but Gaelin is not without hope, and he's running hard after the one who was in control the whole time.
I don't know what it's like to struggle with infertility, and it may or may not intersect with your story, but here's what I do know, the emotional, physical and spiritual pain that comes with infertility is worthy of our conversation. We have to go there. We have to talk about it, because it's a reality for so many foster and adoptive parents or those considering it. We have to be givers of grace to each other, willing to sit with each other in the pain without trying to solve the problem. It could be easy for those of us who are passionate about foster care to jump to a fix of "you should become a foster parent" for our friends struggling with infertility, but that may or may not be their best option. So, hear me in this—that’s not our intent. Today, we're diving into Caroline's story of infertility simply to open the conversation of how to determine if that is the right next step for you and how we can compassionately walk with our friends through infertility.
With the demands of parenting, time spent connecting with your spouse can easily be moved to the back-burner. It's a slow progression of choices and unintended consequences of decisions made. You intend to have that conversation with your husband, but with the caseworker coming over for a home visit today, it gets pushed lower on the priority list. Interruptions bring a change in plans, and suddenly, you haven't been able to have a date night in months. In our foster parenting journey, and now, raising a big family, I know my time with my husband, Clint, is so valuable. I am so thankful for our time together when it comes every other Tuesday night, but early on, I wasn't as good at protecting that time on the calendar. I allowed it to be moved, thinking we could make it up at some other time and then another week would pass without an intentional time to connect. I recently talked with Jill Savage about this, and why it's actually good for our children for us to invest in our marriages.
Abuse is not okay. As I listened to my guest, Desiree Moore, share her story, saying, "I'm sorry" didn't feel like enough. Adopted at the age of three, she suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to be her protector. She wanted to escape but didn't dare speak up. Foster care entered into her story at the age of seventeen as a welcomed relief. Throughout her journey, though, she longed to meet her biological mother. Years spent fantasizing about her and what that relationship would be like left her feeling confused and disappointed when the time finally did come for them to meet. I was so proud of Desiree for sharing, and I know that what she learned in meeting her mom will help us too.
I loved summer growing up! It was a break from the typical day to day structure of school—full of new adventures and opportunities that there wasn't time for during the school year. Sure, it wasn't all perfect, but overall, I loved the possibility that each summer brought. There were so many things to look forward to. This year, our summer has started early, and it's not feeling quite the same—for me or for our kids. Summer has started, well, with stress. It's started with a lack of stability and security as we look towards the unknown. For our kiddos who have experienced trauma, summer, and particularly, this summer brings fear. My friend, Kristin Berry, and I talk through what this season is like for our children who have experienced great loss in their lives. We can have a great summer; it might take a little more planning and a whole lot of grace.
Today's conversation with my guest, Monica Hunter, was a gift. We talked about hair and skincare, and in that, we explored how to help our children feel valued and loved. There is beauty in coming together to care for one another. As a foster and adoptive mom of a multi-racial family, I've had to ask so many questions, and I'm thankful for people like Monica who are willing to jump in and share their knowledge. We need spaces where we don't have to fear making a mistake but can simply learn with others together. I want my children to know I care about them, and part of that is showing them that I care about the hair and skin that God uniquely gave each of us.
I met Helen at Replanted Conference, and as I talked to her, I knew I wanted you all to hear her story too. To hear from those who have walked through foster care is a gift to us all; we need the perspective of those who have lived it. Helen's life had a tragic start when her father passed away at the age of three. With her mother unable to care for her, she entered foster care and was placed with a relative. Tragically, her mother died when Helen was just six years old. Right from the get-go of our conversation, my heart hurt for her childhood—the snapshot of memories painful to bear. Bounced from relative to relative and again several times more, Helen shares the journey she's lived, and I'm so encouraged by where she has landed today. I can't wait for you to hear how she's continuing to find hope and healing now as an adult.
It's time to celebrate! The Lord has graciously allowed TFI to be part of supporting the foster care community for 9 years! It's been a joy to walk with people who are passionate about Jesus and the foster care community as they launch and lead TFI Advocate Ministries all across the United States. Seriously, our Advocates are some of the best; they see and show up for agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children involved with foster care, and not only personally do they do that, but they mobilize the church to do that too! The movement is multiplying, and I could not be more honored to be on this journey with so many great leaders. Because I love you and our Advocates so much, I want to share an inside look at the types of conversations our team gets to have each day. Listen in as Advocate Support Director, Jillian, chats with Kara, our Advocate in Northwest Oklahoma, about ministry and lessons she's learned throughout her 6 years as an Advocate.
This conversation was special—Clint has been by my side since the beginning of this foster care journey. He's been my cheerleader. He's believed in me. He's given me the freedom and push to stretch in ways maybe I wouldn't have otherwise. He lifts me up when I need it and brings me back down when I need that too. Together, we've grown as we caught the vision of how our family could serve in this foster care space, how our church could walk alongside this community, and even bigger, how we could encourage others across the US who wanted to do this work too. Man, it's been a lot of fun! And it's been hard. But, as we recount it all, we see the blessings. When we look back at the last ten years, it's clear the Lord has been working in us. I'm so excited for you to hear more about how faithful God has been through this unexpected road of foster care.
This was my first time meeting and getting the opportunity to talk with Cameron Lee Small, and it did not disappoint. Cam gets adoption. As a Korean adoptee who grew up in Wisconsin, Cam now uses his experience to walk with adoptive families as a clinical counselor. As we talked, I kept nodding my head in agreement. Cam wants to help people understand they are seen, heard, and to know that they matter—that they are not in this alone. It’s the same message I believe in for TFI and for my own family. Through our conversation, Cam helps identify fears when foster care moves to adoption. In naming both the good and hard emotions our children feel, we can begin to help them heal. That’s the goal in all of this today—to learn to walk with our children so that their story can move them to a place where healing can begin.
What a conversation! Tricia was once a teen mom, and now supports teen moms through Teen MOPS. Tricia understands what it’s like to walk through the teenage years while also trying to care for a new little one. Guilt and shame can feel like an everyday companion. For many youth aging out of foster care, pregnancy as a teen is a reality. In our conversation, Tricia offers compassionate wisdom to help us support both teen moms and teens in foster care. Whether you are a teen mom, walking alongside a teen mom, or raising teens, this episode will leave you encouraged to press on. Tricia has been where you are.
As I walk this parenting journey, I grow more and more thankful for teachers who lean into my kids. The student-teacher relationship can be a sweet one. For some students, teachers may be their only trusted adult. Needless to say, the impact of a caring teacher has the potential to be huge. My guest, Amanda Van Allen, is one of those teachers that loves her students in big ways. So, when she saw not only one student’s educational needs, but a greater need as it related to family, she knew her own family could do more to care for this student. Today, we’re talking about jumping into the role of fictive kin—taking on the characteristics of a family relationship for a child in the foster care system. It’s a role that more teachers are being asked to consider, and Amanda had some incredible insights about what she learned from going from teacher to parent in a matter of days.
Sitting down to talk with Sandra Stanley this week was a privilege!
She and Andy have journeyed down this road of foster care for the past ten years and have so much wisdom to share because of it. Much like my own story, they became aware of the need to care for children in their own backyard, and this awareness led them to action. We see this all the time at TFI—awareness leads to action. Sandra shares that the road has been bumpy, filled with moments that have left their hearts both broken and encouraged. As foster parents, we come to this journey so hopeful, so ready to help and love, and yet when there is no margin— when the uncertainty overtakes you—it is easy to feel hopeless. Sandra offers hope in our conversation. We can create space in our lives so that we are not overtaken by this hopelessness. We can live and serve with joy.
The journey of foster care and adoption can feel like a rollercoaster with twists and turns, leaving you with a full range of emotions. Your expectations have gone unmet, and you may be questioning whether God really called you to this journey. Should you just get off the ride now? Recently, Jami had the opportunity to speak to this as she led a breakout session at the Replanted Conference. She vulnerably shares her own story of waiting and a failed adoption to remind you that there is purpose in the hard.
In terms of foster care, Tori has experienced it all. Entering the system at age four; reuniting with her mom; seeing the effects of mental illness; entering the system again; moving to twelve placements; living in a group home; and finally making the decision to emancipate, Tori’s life is one of ups and downs. At moments, she wanted to be out of foster care, and at moments, it was the best option she had. Tori is real and raw and helps us learn what life in foster care is really like. We have much to learn.
Foster care begins with loss—a family broken, unable to be together. This reality weighs on biological parents who long to be reunited whether that’s a possibility or not, children who are trying to make sense of all that is happening, caseworkers who care deeply for both the biological and foster families on their caseloads, and foster families who struggle to know how to help the kiddos in their homes navigate this hard journey while also managing their own emotions. Loss feels anything but good. And yet, our guest, Trisha, an adoptee and adoptive mom, brings a message of hope to us. Rooted in the promises of God, we can mourn loss and see our grief as a gift.
Emily Schmidt opened the coffee shop of her dreams, a shop she called The Cracked Pot. People came to get quality coffee; they lingered; they built community. As a Christ-follower, though, she saw the potential for her shop to be used for something more. She learned about youth aging out of foster care and realized she could be part of their story. She could use her coffee shop for kingdom purposes. Emily’s story is an encouragement to reflect on what God has given each of us and a challenge to consider how we can use our time and resources for others.
A story of tragedy and hope, Mandy’s voice as a child who grew up in foster care is one we need to hear. Her earliest years were wrought with pain and fear, as she experienced loss in the hardest of circumstances. When she entered foster care, for the first time, she was given consistent access to a safe environment, and yet, the impact of her trauma lasted long after she arrived. Mandy shares the heartache of her beginning but also the healing that she experienced as she slowly began to trust the adults around her—adults who saw beyond her behaviors and loved her with fierce commitment.
Our guest, Tony Whitley, is no stranger to foster care. Once a child in foster care, now a foster parent and TFI Advocate, he’s seen the court process from many sides, and he’s not running from it. Tony helps shed new light on court and the players involved in the system. Today’s conversation will help you walk into court informed, knowing the purpose of the hearing you’re attending, and what your role is in the process. Use this as your launchpad as you navigate your way through the court system.
Puberty. It’s a time you may be dreading as a parent or caregiver, or maybe you’re currently walking this road with your pre-teen or teenager, and you need help! It doesn’t have to be scary. Our guest, Dr. Melody Aguayo, offers a wealth of knowledge that will help you navigate this stage of life. The changes that accompany this stage of life for our children with trauma histories can bring more challenges than other children face. There are significant differences that we, as parents, need to understand so we can support and educate our children well. Awareness is the first step, so let’s dive in!
If you’re thinking about jumping into foster parenting and are single, this episode is for you! You can do this. Our guest, Hallie Graves, shares practical insights to help you make that decision. If you’re not a single foster parent but know someone who is, you’ll learn how to come alongside your friend in a way that’s truly impactful. We need each other!
If you’re overwhelmed and feel like you can’t slow down, you need this episode. Denise Kendrick is a full–time working mom of nine kids, and she’s learned how to breathe in the middle of day to day life. It hasn’t been without trial and error, but she brings her lessons learned to encourage us. She’s developed systems that work for her and offers principles to help guide your thinking so you can set your own boundaries as well. Listen in if you want help from one mom who has been where you are.
Whether you’re just thinking about foster care or adoption and want to know what it’s really like or you’re in it and you need support, today’s guest, Mike Berry, offers a picture of the good, bad, and ugly. He’s passionate about sharing a realistic view of adoption and foster care, and he wants to answer your questions honestly. Listen in as we tackle a few of them, but then check out his new book, "Honestly Adoption," for answers to even more. Friends, we are in this together!
When Josh and Liz saw a need within their foster care community, they knew they had to do something about it. Instead of launching and fundraising for a new nonprofit, they joined up with The Forgotten Initiative (TFI), where they were equipped with all types of resources including a graphic designer, strategic planning sessions, and video calls with Advocates around the country, so they didn’t have to reinvent any wheels.
In this episode, Josh and Liz share more about the practical help TFI provides, but also what it’s like to be part of the TFI Family where Advocates are rooting for one another, willing to sit with one another in the hard, and always pointing one another towards loving God.
Opening your home to teenagers in foster care can feel scary. Not knowing what they’ve been through or how they will impact your family can stop you from stepping forward. Today’s guest, Colleen Smith, shares her passion for teens and helps us think practically about how to show them they are loved. If you have a teenager in your life or are considering welcoming one in, this is a must-listen episode!
When Kristy Sutton and her husband, Zach, became foster parents, they realized that life would never be the same. After finishing foster care training classes, they felt ready to enter this new role, but they quickly learned how unprepared they were…for almost everything! In today’s episode, you will gain insight into what the fostering journey looks like—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and glean wisdom from one who has walked this road before you. You are not in this alone!
As foster or adoptive parents, we often feel at a loss of how to help our kids process the complexity of emotions surrounding their birthparents. In today’s special edition episode, you will hear a message that our host, Jami Kaeb, gave to a group of foster and adoptive parents this past Spring at CAFO 2019 Summit. Listen in as Jami focuses on 3 areas: helping your child process their feelings about their birth parents, caring for and pursuing a relationship with your child’s birth parent, and creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Understanding how to best love, teach, and correct our children is something we are continually learning. Add to that, learning to parent kids who have experienced trauma, and things that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids. In today’s episode, Kristin Berry brings us practical insight and encouragement to help us parent our kids in a way that keep us connected.
The one certainty of foster care is there is no certainty. When plans change quickly, people get hurt, or you feel your heart breaking, it is easy and natural to fear. In today’s episode, Singer, Songwriter, Ellie Holcomb encourages us through words (and song too!) to hold on to Hope.
Ashley found herself caught in addiction after being first exposed to narcotic pain killers at the hospital. Because of this, her son was removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness and redemption. Today’s episode brings us the unique perspective of the birth parent.
Loving a child without knowing how long they will be with you or where they will go next is painful. It is easy to feel fearful and frustrated with this lack of control and it is especially challenging to continue on when you feel alone. In today’s episode, you will relate to Amber Reynolds as she shares her experiences as a foster parent. You will also gain insights about how you can support those around you and stay strong in your personal journey.
There are moments in life that change us forever. Pastor Tony Karnes was simply trying to prepare for a sermon series, but God had greater things in store for him AND for hundreds of kids and families in his community. Tony’s journey of faith will inspire and challenge you!
Foster care is a journey of love and loss, not only for the kids in care but for foster families too. In today’s episode, Kim Young of The Bair Foundation, helps us prepare for and process the hard goodbyes.
Foster parenting little ones presents unique challenges and joys, but what is it like to parent another parent? Jason Johnson shares his experiences and lessons learned in the journey of being a foster parent to teen moms (especially before ever raising teens himself!)
A child’s foster care journey begins with loss, loss of what they know, who they love, and all that is familiar. Grief follows right behind and exhibits itself in various ways. As a foster parent, you and those close to you are also well-acquainted with loss and grief as the very nature of your role is to love and let go. This is true of today’s guest, Natalie Brenner, who shares the hope she clings to when life is dark.
Are you a foster parent, serving and loving kids in your home, but are unable to quiet the nudge in your heart to do more? Today you will hear Wendy Carlton’s journey of quiet prayer to foster care and then foster care advocacy.You will learn ways you are needed to make a difference in the lives of children, too!
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Understanding how to best love, teach, and correct our children is something we are continually learning. Add to that, learning to parent kids who have experienced trauma, and things that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids. In today’s episode, Kristin Berry brings us practical insight and encouragement to help us parent our kids in a way that keep us connected.
ADHD, ODD, RAD—these letters represent mental health diagnoses that commonly label our children in foster care. But are they accurate diagnoses for your child? What role does trauma play in your child’s behaviors? Today’s episode is super practical and will leave you with the resources and help you need to understand your child better and walk with them towards healing.
Teenagers, Brayden and Bristol, along with their mom, Selena Whitley, speak honestly to the joys and struggles of being raised in a family who does foster care. The journey of fostering has allowed Bristol and Brayden to mature as they learn to lean on God.
Can you imagine being the oldest of 5 biological children and having over 50 therapeutic foster siblings throughout your childhood? Rophe Mason tells her story of growing up in a fostering family; listen in as she vulnerably shares how they navigated these waters, established boundaries and shared God’s love with children who needed it the most.
Nicole Argo spent her childhood in the foster care system starting at the age of seven. She shares her story of neglect and despair in a life that was saved by God’s loving pursuit of her—even before she knew who He was. His still, small voice gave her hope to go on and led to a series of events that now gives her the opportunity to bring Him glory through her story.
Join us for this Encore Episode with Angie Grant as she shares the story of one of their children's reunification after two and a half years in their home. She will challenge you to want to make an indelible difference in the lives of vulnerable children!
Angie Grant and her husband, Stan, have been foster parents for five years. Their third placement, a little girl, stayed in their home for two and a half years and then returned home. Although it was difficult to let their daughter go, Angie’s family cherishes the memories they made with her and believe that the time they had with her will make an indelible mark on her life for the good, because they did their best to love as Jesus loves: compassionately and with everything they had.
Jamie Finn started fostering because she wanted to “rescue kids who had terrible parents.” She was immediately humbled with her first placement when she realized that she wasn’t all that different than the biological parents of the child she was caring for—it was only the grace of God that separated her decisions from their decisions. God began to change her heart and her mission regarding foster care and biological parents. Listen in to learn how she works to support, love and go above and beyond for her kids’ biological parents!
Peter Greer and his family have opened their home to foster care for several years and have experienced the highs and lows of all foster care entails. After several hard situations, Peter admits to being reticent, even outright against, getting back into the foster care world. A greater sense of purpose and the support and encouragement of his children has ensured that, in spite of the pain, unpredictability and potential for hurt, their family will continue to say “yes” to foster care.
Angel Ambrose shared her story of a turbulent childhood that resulted in her playing a key role as a teen in testifying against her mother for the safety of herself and her siblings. Throughout her life, art has played a key role in helping her process her feelings. Angel shares more about how art and the healing power of a creative God has made a difference in her life.
The statistics for youth who age out of foster care receiving a college degree are extremely disheartening—fewer than 5% finish a secondary education. Royce Markley beat the odds—as a child, he was in and out of foster care, eventually aging out of the system. His childhood was a roller coaster of emotions and situations, including times when his mom was doing what she needed to do to keep her kids to various foster care situations to several near adoptions, until an older couple offered him and his brother something they had never had before: stability. Royce’s story of frustration and determination to accomplish his goals, get his college degree and make a difference in the foster care community will inspire you!
Saty Cornelius grew up in a fostering family—her parents have fostered more than 50 children. She is one of seven children, including three sisters through adoption. Knowing, hearing and living the stories of some of her foster siblings gave her incredible insight into the trauma, struggles and sometimes unexpected emotions kids in care often experience. The combination of her dream to write a book and her personal connection and passion for foster care has resulted in More to Me, a fictional, but very realistic, story of a teen girl and her younger siblings who find themselves navigating the confusion of foster care.
Anna Kathryn Ellzey knew that as a foster parent she could not share pictures, names or details of the child in her care. But that didn’t stop her from sharing a photo of him and her biological daughter as they sat together—a cute picture of only their legs. She simply wanted to share her joy at having him be part of their family. But she realized that on the other side of their happiness was his birth family’s pain and heartbreak. That’s when she realized that confidentiality was about more than keeping a child’s face hidden: It was about protecting and nurturing his and his birth family’s heart and story.
Foster parenting can be challenging even with a spouse, but that doesn’t mean a single person can’t or shouldn’t follow a call from God to foster. This panel discussion includes four single foster moms who have figured out how to make fostering work in their lives. If you have been waiting for a spouse to foster, their stories might give you the encouragement you need to take that step of faith to foster as a single parent!
Catie Lumpkin and her husband Jamie began fostering about nine years ago. At the time, they had three young sons (age 4, 2 and 1) and had been considering adoption. They had the opportunity to love on a mother in crisis for a period of time and soon after, Jamie mentioned the option of becoming foster parents. Catie said no at first, but her heart was changed as they became more involved in seeking to improve those in need in their city. They have fostered more than 80 children since then, and recently adopted two of those children and welcomed their fourth biological son to the family. Catie shares tips and suggestions for making the transition to the school year go as smoothly as possible for children who have experienced trauma.
Kelsie Barnhart first heard about TFI and the mentoring program through a friend in the summer of 2014. She had just graduated college and was working full time, but knew she wanted to carve out time to serve her community. Becoming a foster parent wasn’t a practical way for her to minister to the many foster children in her area, but mentoring was. She began mentoring in January 2015 and has been a consistent person in her “Little Buddy’s” life since. Find out what she’s learned through her experiences as well as hear advice on getting started!
Holly Miller was born into foster care and was adopted at the age of seven by the family with whom she had been in a long-term placement. The adoption conversation was always open, but she as she grew, she found she had more questions than answers because she simply didn’t know much about her life before her adoption. Her journey of working through the “who am I” questions led her down an interesting path that has recently resulted in a ministry that combines her passion for foster and adoptive children and their families with a need in her community.
Angie Grant and her husband, Stan, have been foster parents for five years. Their third placement, a little girl, stayed in their home for two and a half years and then returned home. Although it was difficult to let their daughter go, Angie’s family cherishes the memories they made with her and believe that the time they had with her will make an indelible mark on her life for the good, because they did their best to love as Jesus loves: compassionately and with everything they had.
Angel Ambrose’s home life became so unsafe when she was a teen that she testified against her mother in order to protect herself and her younger siblings from neglect and abuse. Angel shares her story and how God has redeemed her past and brought her healing, even to the point of having her own child—something she never thought she wanted.
Father’s Day is just a few weeks away, and we wanted to highlight this great opportunity available to foster and adoptive dads! This encore of Andrew Schneidler’s interview will encourage dads and help them know they are not alone in the struggles they may face. Andrew understands…and he wants other dads to know there are other dads out there who also understand!
Foster and adoptive fathers have very few resources to help them deal with the feelings and struggles that often arise when caring for children from hard places. Andrew Schneidler is trying to change that.
Join us for this Encore Episode to hear Jason Johnson share highlights from his new book, Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey Through the Lens of the Gospel. Designed to encourage, whether we are in the trenches of foster parenting, considering becoming foster parents or trying to better support foster families, this episode is full of hope and will remind you that you are not alone!
Nicole Argo, a pastor’s wife and mother of two, went into foster care at the age of 7, giving her a unique perspective about how it feels to be a child in care. Jenn Hook, a clinical psychologist and TBRI certified therapist, works with children who have experienced trauma—a large number of whom have been in foster care. Listen in as they discuss the exciting new Who Loves book series from The Forgotten Initiative and share the positive results they anticipate the books will bring for children in care, foster parents, churches, teachers and anyone who seeks to understand what life is like for a child in foster care.
David LaFrance is an elementary school principal who readily shares his story of growing up in a broken and dysfunctional family. His story helps him relate to kids from hard places on a daily basis, as well as drives him to use as many resources as possible to establish relationships with all the people in his life, including his family, his staff, his students and even their families. Listen to his inspiring story and learn more about tools you can use to better understand trauma and the importance of story.
Drawing on his experiences with taking an intentional sabbatical, Jedd Medefind shares how our inner life and our outpouring into the lives of others are intricately interwoven—especially in in the sense that we must be filled up so that we can, in turn, pour out. The fact is, it’s extremely difficult, if not impossible in the long term, to pour into others’ lives if we don’t take the time to be refreshed and nourish our own souls.
Ashleigh Chapman is a preacher’s kid who found her life’s calling at the age of 11. Her parents worked at a homeless mission when a woman and her three children arrived, begging for safety from an abuser. Her parents quickly realized the woman was also an abuser and worked diligently to keep the three children safe. She became devoted to the cause of protecting the vulnerable. She focuses full-time on fighting the heinous crime of human trafficking in the US and around the world. Don’t miss this episode—it’s critical to the future of our children and our communities!
Beth Guckenberger and her husband Todd have been married more than 25 years and, between biological, foster, and adopted children, they have raised ten children. In addition, they also work together as Co-Executive Directors of Back2Back Ministries, an organization that is dedicated to being a voice for orphans. They have found some unique strategies to keep their marriage strong and vibrant, enabling them to better serve those they have been called to serve. Beth shares these and other ideas in this can’t miss episode!
Jason Johnson shares highlights from his new book, Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey Through the Lens of the Gospel, to encourage us, whether we are in the trenches of foster parenting, considering becoming foster parents or trying to better support foster families. This is an episode full of hope and will remind you that you are not alone!
Dr. Sharen Ford of Focus on the Family and her daughter, Jennifer Rice, both have experience in the “trenches” of agency work in the foster care system. They share what it’s really like, what the challenges are and even how the job can affect your personal life. This peek into “the other side” is eye-opening…and it’s encouraging to note that agency workers truly do want the best for each child on their caseload.
Rob Parker grew up in an abusive home and was headed for a life of ongoing generational dysfunction and abuse. Through the unconditional love of his two great aunts and the Spirit of God working through relationships and community, his life has instead become a message of hope, experiencing reconciliation in relationships, restoration in his heart and transformation in his life!
People considering foster care often worry about how their biological children will be affected by having other children come in and out of their lives. Clayton Keenon’s story will help put many of those fears to rest. His parents fostered more than 350 teen girls over 35 years—virtually all his life. He knows he’s a better person for it.
Courtney Strahm and her family didn’t know much about foster care until just a few years ago. But they became aware, and awareness led to action. Listen to Courtney’s story of how God called and provided for them, in good times and hard times, to make a difference in the lives of kids in foster care.
Meet Wendy Carlton, a foster and adoptive mom who found joy in fostering, and in developing a meaningful relationship with her child’s biological mother. Learning more about the mother’s history helped Wendy understand the need for good mentors and role models. “She couldn’t be a good mom or role model because she never had that herself,” says Wendy. The story of how God orchestrated the details of their foster placement will help you grow your trust in God’s timing.
Parents of foster and adoptive children often face additional considerations in school situations regarding the well-being of their child. Mike and Kristin Berry, adoptive parents of eight and advocates for foster care and adoption, talk about some of the things parents need to remember when talking with teachers or the principal, as well as delighting in and being an observer of your child.
Many foster and adoptive parents are unsure of the best strategy regarding when and how much information to tell a child about their background, or their “story.” Jayne Schooler shares great information and advice in this Encore Episode from Season 3 of The Forgotten Podcast!
Keith McAfee had a less than idyllic childhood—denied by his biological father, raised by several abusive step-fathers, made poor decisions, suffered various kinds of abuse. But one family saw through his pain and never gave up on being there for him, even when he was in and out of their lives. Listening to Keith’s story will give you hope that God is a God of details and He can make good out of any situation.
Greg Cox shares the story of losing his eight children into the child welfare system due to his neglect brought about by substance abuse. The situation became a catalyst in his own life to get clean and sober, and more importantly, to do what was necessary to be a full-time father to his children. Greg now serves others by being a parent mentor and coach.
Josh Shipp admits to being a hard to handle teen in foster care. He had “mastered the art” of getting kicked out of foster homes, but his life changed due to a caring adult who wouldn’t give up on him. Josh has become an advocate for teens and those who love them. He is the author of the book The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans.
Josh Shipp is an author, global youth empowerment expert and acclaimed speaker. A former at-risk foster kid who “mastered the art of getting kicked out” of foster homes, he is renowned for his documentary TV series on A&E that followed his ground-breaking work with teens. He is the author of the book The Grown-Up’s Guide to Teenage Humans.
Aurie Good is a pastor’s wife and homeschooling mother of five children, two biological, one adopted from foster care and two in the process of adopting from foster care. She has developed great strategies to help you keep your sanity while parenting and maintaining the mountain of paperwork required while fostering. She and her husband, Ken, have fostered 11 children during their nine years of foster parenting in New Jersey. All of the children who have come into their home have been medically fragile, requiring even more paperwork and organization. Aurie shares not only great tips, but she’s included a link to a PDF of “The Binder”—an organizational tool she’s developed. Don’t miss it!
Jamie Grace is a Grammy nominated, Dove award-winning contemporary Christian/Christian rap musician who has big dreams and plans beyond music. Raised in a household in which her parents took in more than 25 children, she has a huge heart for foster care and is determined to make a difference in others’ lives in tangible ways.
Lynne Ellis-Gray knows what it feels like to wonder about biological parents. Adopted as a baby, her parents did the “right” things by sharing her story in a positive way and made her feel chosen and wanted. As she grew, she wondered and explored for information about her birth mother. Her interest in adoption led her to write her master’s thesis on adoption issues that adoptees face. What she found is eye-opening and can be very helpful for adoptive and foster parents, as well as adult adoptees who still find certain things trigger feelings that are based deep inside.
Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, shares his personal journey of being a child in foster care and explains how going through that painful time created a passion in him to work on behalf of children in foster care and how, even as an adult, he still feels the effects of foster care in his life.
Kirsten Smith believes her past experience prepared her for her present reality, although “nothing could fully prepare me to be the mother of nine!” She grew up with an idea of what foster care was, and after college she worked as a social worker with families in crisis, aiding in reunification, but also seeing the effects of child abuse and neglect. “It was a hard job,” she says. “I remember thinking, ‘I don’t know why God put me here.’” A few years later she realized that some of her own children came from those scenarios.
Scott Brown, Coordinator of the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) Aging Out Initiative, gathers success stories of organizations that are helping aging out youth and are creating solutions. Approximately 24,000 youth age out of the foster care system every year, and about 70% of those young adults are falling through the cracks of making a successful transition into adulthood.
Foster and adoptive fathers have very few resources to help them deal with the feelings and struggles that often arise when caring for children from hard places. Andrew Schneidler is trying to change that.
Many foster and adoptive parents are unsure of the best strategy regarding when and how much information to tell a child about their background, or their “story.”
Join us for this Encore Episode of Jami’s conversation with Emma Williams. Emma lived in several foster homes, shelters, and adoptive family situations as a child. Her story will give you amazing insight into the sometimes hard realities facing children in foster care.
Because caring for the orphan is a deep concern on God’s heart, Jenn Ranter wanted to provide support for these families, so that they felt loved and cared for. She founded Replanted Ministry because she wanted to create a community where both the parents/foster parents could feel safe and vulnerable and be able to share their honest feelings and emotions without judgment. Families who are in the trenches of dealing with trauma can offer this support to other families—parents and children alike.
Molly Evans knew working with kids was what made her heart beat with excitement and purpose. In college, she interned in a DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) office and took a class in child welfare that solidified her goal of working with families and one-on-one with kids. After college, she worked at a private agency as a Family Enhancement worker, helping intact families get help with parenting skills, job searches, even housing, as well as supervised parent-child visits.
Fawn Kieser admits she was one of those parents who said with firm conviction, “I could never do foster care—I could never give them back.” But as she and her husband, Brent, took baby steps of faith, starting with just being willing to be moved by God to a new place that they never thought they’d be, she realizes that they have become survivors and overcomers.
Brittany Lind and her husband, Joel, didn’t overthink the idea of becoming foster parents. Adoption was part of the church culture she experienced in college—it was preached and lived out on a regular basis. When they married and planned for their family, they didn’t see a difference between having biological children and adoption—they were both equally good and beautiful.
Dr. Andrea Kane is a pediatrician whose practice includes many foster families. She shares wisdom regarding some of the common physical, mental and emotional concerns that foster families may face.
Several TFI Advocates join Jami in a conversation about why they became Advocates and the benefits of being an Advocate with TFI.
Jedd Medefind serves as the President of CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans). His biggest joy is spending time with people who are making their faith tangible by living it out and loving vulnerable kids. “Nothing is more beautiful and encouraging than Christians who look like Jesus—who care about kids the world has pushed to the side.”
Jason Weber’s experience with working with the inner-city kids and families provided not only an invitation to foster, but also an invitation to help other followers of Christ engage in caring for kids who needed families.
Mary Slager will challenge your thinking about getting involved in foster care. You’re never too old to get involved somehow…and it may be that you’re called to foster children even after your own children are grown and gone. Listening to Mary’s experiences erases some of the age constraints you might be feeling!
Chris Shandrow will encourage you to get your church involved in serving the foster care community. Chris is the Lead Pastor of Compass Church in Bloomington, Illinois. Compass was planted in 2013 with the goal of making God accessible to everyone.
Emma Williams, a woman who was in and out of several foster homes, shelters, and adoptive family situations in her life, will give you amazing insight into the sometimes hard realities facing children in foster care.
Not everyone is called to adopt or foster, but we can all do something. Today you will learn who our nation’s orphans are, and whether you are an adoptive or foster parent in need of support or called to put your arm around those who are, Dr. Sharen Ford provides several tools to equip you to “do something!”
We are excited to offer the premiere episode of The Forgotten Podcast as a special encore presentation! Jami Kaeb's story of how her family's journey of adoption and foster care resulted in the creation of The Forgotten Initiative serves as the foundation of what The Forgotten Initiative is all about: bringing joy and purpose to the foster care community--agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults and children--and those who love and serve them.
You will be encouraged and inspired as you learn their stories, hear their passion, and and find out how you can become the catalyst for change in your community!
Angie Ringger is a foster parent in Phoenix, Arizona. She and her husband, Mike, have fostered 11 children and have a compelling story about trusting in God’s plan and direction for life and growing in faith through the journey of foster care. Whether you currently foster, are considering becoming a foster parent or even if you’re sure fostering is not God’s plan for you, Angie’s story will increase your trust that God knows what He’s doing in your life!
Nicole Argo is a pastor’s wife and mom of two who grew up in foster care. Nicole’s story explains the emotions and struggles children often face when in foster care. She shares how critical every effort to help those in the foster care community is and how showing and sharing the love of Jesus can make a difference in a child’s life.
Nicole Argo is a pastor’s wife and mom of two who grew up in foster care. Her firsthand account of the emotions and struggles that face children in foster care on a regular basis will help you understand how critical every effort to help those in the foster care community is and how showing and sharing the love of Jesus will make a difference in every life.
Marla Ringger talks about what it’s like being a grandma of many, including the unique dynamic of loving and bonding with children who became part of her family through adoption and foster care. You’ll love hearing the story of how Marla’s heart softened towards orphaned and vulnerable children as well as how she takes practical steps to make sure her 15(!) grandchildren know she loves them. You’ll want Marla to be your grandma by the end of the show!
In this episode, you’ll discover a new perspective on bio-parents and how their past influences their present and future, an engaging response to the “I could never do that” statement, and an honest look at how foster parents can make a difference in bio-parents’ lives.
In this episode, you’ll discover what the benefits of becoming a TFI Advocate are, and how to find balance in ministry, parenting and marriage. This episode also talks about why Families Serving Families is Selena’s favorite initiative from TFI.
Gary Ringger shares his journey from young business man looking to achieve “the American dream” to now serving as an advocate for the orphaned and vulnerable child as President of Lifesong for Orphans. You will see first hand how God can take our weaknesses and use them for His glory! Listen in as Jami and Gary (her dad!) share memories, laughter and even a few tears in this very special episode.
In this episode, you’ll discover the story behind The Mentoring Project, why it’s important to start a mentoring program small—one step at a time, and the many benefits a mentor provides to at-risk kids.
In this episode, you’ll discover the beauty of following God’s plan instead of our own, how foster and orphan care influence the intersection of other issues, as well as learn tips on how to prioritize marriage and family in the midst of ministry.
In this episode, you’ll discover the importance of grieving infertility, the down side to “color blind” philosophy, and the value of your child’s story.
In this episode, you’ll discover that you’re a textbook for foster care and adoption—what are people learning from you? You’ll also learn new strategies for keeping your marriage and family strong—we can’t do it all. We also talk the fact that what you are doing is always worth it.
In this episode with Jason Johnson, you’ll discover how to find the “perfect” time to foster or adopt, how to navigate the concern of loving a child that might leave your family, and learn a new way to look at comments from strangers about your adoptive or foster family.
Welcome to the very first episode of The Forgotten Podcast! In this episode, you’ll discover what to expect from The Forgotten Podcast, hear Jami’s story and how TFI started, as well as what adoption and foster care feel like through the eyes of children.