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“Our Pandemic Radio Adventure” continues, and I’m back on my bullshit–by that I mean counting the mixtapes I’ve had to assemble for you. What must I have been thinking–that this would end soon? Dear listener, we have eleven months to go!
Listeners will experience a hefty serving of music “randomly found in my twitter timeline”--there was a lot of that at this time. People and organizations were responding to Current Events in whatever way they could. This week had seen the infamous “post a black square” day on social media (a gesture adopted by the famously non-racist Washington Redskins, among others); it had also seen the repurposing of the fledgling Bandcamp Friday phenomenon as a fundraiser for activist groups. “Throw some coins in the bucket in the direction of social justice,” I plead.
To my current embarrassment some of the music that accompanied this crowdfunding sounds eager and pandering, as if the artists were hoping their songs might be deployed as interstitial music on Democracy Now! or some such. I won’t name names; perhaps you can guess by listening.
I relax my policy of “not calling people out” to take a shot at Juno Records, whose shipment to me was apparently traveling the wrong way around the globe, as it was two months late. Lockdown be damned, I am a needy consumer! At least I admit that I am being “petty.”
Mispronouncing “Kilamanzego” as “kill-a-man-zay-go” (instead of “kill a man’s ego”) is something I can only admit to now, as I was cluelessly butchering it at the time with blithe confidence.
And while we’re on the topic, were we really “starting to talk about” returning to live broadcasts? In June 2020? Good grief!

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 June 10, 2100-2300:

• "Just Feel" | Jessica Ashman | Just Feel | self-released
  "Da Daa" | archr | Hayashi | Bonsai
  "Forward" | Markus Floats | Third Album | Constellation
  "Equal Rights + Justice" | Eusebeia | Equal Rights + Justice EP | Western Lore
  "Too Shay" | King Britt | Back 2 Black | Black Catalogue 2020
  "Running From The Cops (live on KEXP)" | Phantogram | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "Lost In Space / Great Scott / 22-26" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
  "Unknown Future [feat. Law, Kola Nut]" | Tim Reaper | More Lanterns EP | Repertoire
  "A Call To Young Lawyers" | Matthew Caws | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "Forward Again" | Markus Floats | Third Album | Constellation
  "Moanin' At Midnight" | Howlin' Wolf | Silver Disc: 25 Years Of Ace | Ace
  "A Call To Arms (BLM 1312 Redux)" | thisquietarmy | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "Kokrokoo" | Santrofi | Alewa | Out Here
  "Enter" | Nailah Hunter | Spells | LEAVING RECORDS
  "It's Over" | Karyn Kuhl | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "Shadow" | Moor Jewelry | True Opera | Don Giovanni
  "Just A Little Bit" | Tim Carman & The Street 45s | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "These Hands Are Up" | Mourning [A] BLKstar | These Hands Are Up | Don Giovanni
  "ALB19 17" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released
  "What Comes Next" | Worriers | Talk - Action = Zero: A Compilation Benefitting Black Lives Matter | Rough Trade Publishing / Bank Robber Music
  "Everything Goes Black" | Kilamanzego | These Roots Are On Fire EP | self-released
  "Side B1 / Side B2" | A Space for Sound | Sound Bath Mixtape Vol. 1 | Purple Tape Pedigree

all the lying, all the stealing, all the cheating is working

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It’s been a tough week, hasn’t it? INDEED IT HAS.
This episode finds me losing count of the number of times I’ve had to submit a pre-recorded program. Whatevs, counting is for nerds anyway.
Trying to get through the week as best I can–by playing tunes that are “dear to me,” I say--but this is a lie! So many of these tunes were pretty new to me. Maybe they became “dear” quickly, but due to my supposed shallowness of affect I doubt it.
I’d just stopped drinking in the previous week, so the whole George Floyd thing found me without a protective emotional buffer. I sound tired and dead inside despite how angry I must have been. Maybe just exasperated. Everything had come to a grinding halt except the state-sanctioned murder of black people.
Anyway–”No Agreement” is definitely a song that has been dear to me for a long time. No lie about that one.
You wouldn’t think someone would gravitate toward a Fela record the way people gravitate toward a 4ad or Factory record but I really dug the sleeves on those Celluloid reissues of Fela records in the 80s. And then, listening to the recordings changed the way I listened to music, just like 4ad had once upon a time. Also “No Agreement Today, No Agreement Tomorrow” would be a fitting title for my memoir, if only anyone wanted to read it or if I wanted to write it in the first place.
I don’t talk much in this episode, I must really have been at the end of words, as they say. I sound a little more peppy at the end of hour 1 than I did at the beginning.
“Short, angry tunes” await in the second hour, “appropriate for this time”–if that’s your mood, that’s something to look forward to. This, at long last, is the truth!

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 June 3, 2100-2300:

• "The Breathtaking Blast" | Tradition | Captain Ganja and the Space Patrol | Bokeh Versions
• "In a Budget Dancehall" | Mdou Moctar & Elite Beat | Mdou Moctar Meets Elite Beat In a Budget Dancehall | Boomarm Nation
• "Follow Me" | Oneness of Juju | African Rhythms 1970-1982 | Strut
• "Ngigna Loko" | Ngalle Jojo | Africa Airways Six (Mile High Funk 1974 - 1981) | Africa Seven
• "Oorun" | Guedra Guedra كدرة كدرة | Son of Sun | On The Corner
• "Kwabena amoah" | Santrofi | Alewa | Out Here
• "Lonesome" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released
• "No Agreement" | Fela Anikulapo Kuti with Africa 70 | No Agreement | Terrascape
• "The Garden" | Stef Fi | Girlhood | self-released
• "Ndomo" | Jude Bondese | Africa Airways Six (Mile High Funk 1974 - 1981) | Africa Seven
• "87BABIES" | Nelson Bandela | Bandela BeatTape 007 - MACRO | self-released
• "Tamatant" | Kel Assouf | Glitterbeat_tak:til_2019 | Glitterbeat
• "seedless" | serpentwithfeet | soil | Secretly Canadian
• "SUN" | Versis | Versis | self-released
• "Unrequited Love" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
• "Me Ton Le Gbe (Pachanga Fon)" | Orchestre Super Borgou De Parakou | The Bariba Sound 1970-1976 | Analog Africa
• "Rubber Necks" | Handle | In Threes | Upset The Rhythm
• "Bumpy's Lament" | Isaac Hayes | Shaft (Music From the Soundtrack) | Stax
• "Healing Father" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Judgement" | Moor Jewelry | True Opera | Don Giovanni
• "Cut Me My Cheque feat. Alberto Solis" | Kah & McKenzie | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "Dream Palette" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "Freeze Corleone 667 - Ekip VS Heavy Teeth - Shadow On Flesh" | Hajj | Hash-Ups Vol.1 | Strike a Posse
• "Hard (Stars Remix)" | Mourning [A] BLKstar | The Cycle | Don Giovanni
• "Black Weirdo" | Kilamanzego | Hayashi | Bonsai
• "We're A Winner" | Curtis Mayfield | Harlem Shuffle | Plastic

public service announcement for all the people out there

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This episode and the next are about clearing the decks, a “before and after” tableau, if you will. They are about how I cannot seem to perform the deck-clearing in a spontaneous, immediate way, and how I compensate (if that’s what I am doing) by making big changes at the level of concept. All of this is a fancy way of saying (as I seem to do with increasing frequency) that it was the end of one era and the beginning of another. I guess this archive is a way of keeping it all straight.

At this time my show was still “airing” on Wednesday nights, but because Covid was keeping us all out of the studio I was required to submit pre-recorded episodes on Tuesdays. This meant that the episode had to be planned, sequenced, and pasted together at some earlier point than that. I’m dancing around the unpleasant topic of May 25, 2020. I have forgotten what I thought about George Floyd’s death in the first 48 hours afterward. Maybe at the time I considered it merely another in a long line of murders (which of course it was), another video I didn’t want to see (which it also was).

One theory of “how music programs should respond to tragedy” is that they should offer some kind of escape, and I guess this program works in that way, if you want to see it that way.

You know what, though? I’m through “making sandwiches” and giving a platform to my inner critic. Let him get his own, and let the haters hate (I don’t imagine anyone considers this little radio show important enough to “hate” on it). What can I tell you? I am not 100% consistent and I am always doing my best in the moment. What “my best” is will always be an elusive, ephemeral thing, as I keep re-discovering.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 May 27, 2100-2300:

• "Righteous Vibration" | TNT Roots | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Vals" | Etxera | Cinco Segundos | Silent Method
• "Stowaway" | The Room in the Wood | We're the Martians, Now | A Turntable Friend
• "White Line Fever" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "Sacrifice" | Chloral | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 4 - La Furia | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "The Last Time" | Slum of Legs | Slum of Legs | Spurge
• "Al Gore Rhythms" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "They Work Every Day" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux
• "Listening To The Marychain (Acoustic Version)" | The Memory Fades | Shelter | Sunday
• "Hour of the Furnaces" | Algiers | There Is No Year | Matador
• "Rocket Repairs" | Tradition | Captain Ganja and the Space Patrol | Bokeh Versions
• "DIVV VL" | Cry Robot | The Entity In The Cosmos | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Out Of Sync" | Hallows | Subtle | Phage Tapes
• "Innerstellar Love" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
• "Kobon Lerai" | Mammane Sani | La Musique Électronique Du Niger | Sahel Sounds / Mississippi / Change
• "Gradiency" | The Billows Burn Bright | The Billows Burn Bright 2015​-​2020 | self-released
• "DonaBonBon ft. Salvador Herrera" | Child | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Aislación" | Orquesta Pandroginia | Pandemia | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Queer" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released
• "Kerosene!" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "Forward" | Roger Robinson | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Tart Tart" | Happy Mondays | Squirrel And G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) [reissue] | London
• "A Lucen Sombras" | Berlina | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 4 - La Furia | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Just Before the Bomb" | Manfred Hamil | The Shed Collective Vol.3 | Douglas Deep
• "Walk From Regio's" | Isaac Hayes | Shaft (Music From the Soundtrack) | Stax
• "Maraschino-Red Dress $8.99 at Goodwill [Ezra, Jorgen, Sam & Tim, January/February 2017, Ballistico]" | Ezra Furman | To Them We'll Always Be Freaks | self-released
• "Money Don't Grow on Trees" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Thought Crime" | Macerator | The Shed Collective Vol.3 | Douglas Deep
• "Poison In A Pretty Pill" | Crass | Penis Envy | Crass
• "Le Grand Macabre" | Moor Jewelry | True Opera | Don Giovanni
• "Lightyears (feat. Joshua Idehen)" | The Comet Is Coming | Channel The Spirits | Leaf
• "obfusc" | NNYz? | C-BEAMS | self-released

time won't always heal and it eats at my mind

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More sandwich-making: the first few songs of this program provide me with comfort on a chilly fall evening in the Northeast, provenance be damned. Listening to the program I don’t really care where the songs came from, whether the artists are dear to me, whether I cared enough to buy actual records by any of these people, and so on. It’s an enjoyable listen, and at the end of the day do we care about anything else? I honestly don’t know.

The Handle > Throwing Muses segue works surprisingly well. Shades of what I like to call old magic. The Fall > Thundercat was also not as bad as it should have been.The lovely Walt Thisney track transforms beautifully into Fever 103°. I am making the good stuff happen!

The program doesn’t really sound “like me” until Loraine James, about half an hour in. I would say this isn’t a great use of my precious airtime–measured against the potential for self-expression–but it wasn’t really “airtime” in the depths of whatever, so does it matter?

Re. Loraine James–far be it from me, a walking cautionary tale in so many ways, to tell anyone how to manage their grind. But I found Lorraine James’s music at around this time because she’d uploaded an entire album-plus as a “name your price” download on Bandcamp (RIP btw) and here we are, a few years later, with me having just about everything she’s released on vinyl in my collection. IDK, seems like that strategy helps people get into your music? (It’s the same with KMRU, though his music does not appear on tonight’s program.)

Anyway, the “broadcast” is happening “under considerable duress,” I say, but I no longer have any idea why. Blessed forgetfulness, it has relieved me of the knowledge of why this week was worse than average.

“I hope it isn’t too much to ask that you stick with me,” I add. You know, I am really down on myself and I need to stop being that way. It WAS a fine evening, half of hour 1 and almost all of hour 2 were perfectly good.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 May 20, 2100-2300:

• "Pills" | Starry Eyed Cadet | Join A Comp! | fadeawayradiate
• "Fun of the Fair" | The Room in the Wood | We're the Martians, Now | A Turntable Friend
• "Jetpack" | The Superweaks | Don't Stand So Close To Me: A Lame-O Compilation For Self Isolation | Lame-O Records
• "Underground" | Your Gaze | Out Of The Darkness | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "In Yr Face" | Slum of Legs | Slum of Legs | Spurge
• "Forest Fire" | Day & Dream | Shelter | Sunday
• "You're Not An Island" | 6TH CROWD | Avoid The Void | self-released
• "ALB19 20" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released
• "Mhmm" | Handle | In Threes | Upset The Rhythm
• "Dark Blue" | Throwing Muses | Sun Racket | Fire
• "Find A Way Back" | Ultramarine | Interiors | Real Soon
• "Saiditzoneza" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Bahia" | Ranil | Stay Safe & Sound Ranil Selection !! | Analog Africa
• "Steel-Belted Radials" | The Billows Burn Bright | The Billows Burn Bright 2015​-​2020 | self-released
• "Sleeping Buffalo" | Doomsquad | Spandrels Vol 2 | self-released
• "The Bad Stuff" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "Funny Thing" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
• "Grail Overfloweth" | Cocteau Twins | Garlands [reissue] | 4AD
• "Man in a Bar" | Harry Stafford | Gothic Urban Blues | Black Lagoon
• "Love You So Bad" | [Ezra & Sam & Jamie Riotto at Tiny Telephone in San Francisco, 5-19-2016] | Ezra Furman | To Them We'll Always Be Freaks | self-released
• "Uninspired" | The Max Levine Ensemble | Don't Stand So Close To Me: A Lame-O Compilation For Self Isolation | Lame-O Records
• "Mirror to sky" | Whalt Thisney | Quiethism | Kahvi Collective
• "Leaving the Club" | Fever 103° | Right between before and after | self-released
• "Rudy Feller" | Sector Libertad | ITALIA 90' | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Same Mistakes 2020" | Jackson Veil Panther | Same Mistakes | self-released
• "Principles Unknown" | Rer Repeater | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Lolaphone" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "RunComeTest" | SEEKERSINTERNATIONAL | RunComeTest EP | Bokeh Versions
• "Free Chant (Churchical Chant Of The Iyabinghi)" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "I'm a Suspect" | Lonnie Holley | MITH | Jagjaguwar
• "Evil Empire ft. Ben Vince" | Jay Glass Dubs | Epitaph | Bokeh Versions

we all dance into the fire

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Here is a program that chased my dog upstairs (kudos to Cry Robot for that). Her taste is something of a mystery, though. There is plenty of the sublime to experience in this audio file. Where else are you going to hear Slum of Legs transitioning into Little Richard? That’s right, nowhere.

In the spirit of making what management types call a “sandwich,” though, re. a few tracks in this selection whose producers shall remain nameless: Desperate for digital content and too lazy, I guess, to rip vinyl to .mp3, I play these “name your price” downloads (let’s admit it, they are freebies) at the expense of real music. There, I said it, but again, let’s call things what they are. Taxonomy matters! I will take this conviction to my grave.

I think it was at this point that I got tired of listening to me. Even though there is nothing that bad about this program, just the usual stuff. “And I hope you do” is a phrase I use, like, three times in the episode–strangely, given the chance to be spontaneous, I think I’d be less likely to go on autopilot like that.

I mean, this is thoroughly enjoyable most of the time. It’s a pretty good playlist. Just look at it, for goodness’ sake.

So there we have it. Positive bread, negative filling, positive bread. Abbondanza!

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 May 13, 2100-2300:

• "No Baptism" | Larry Marshall | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Digital Heart" | beto | DISBOARD | Virtual Soundsystem
• "My Country (Monarchy Mix)" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux
• "We All Get Down (Rob Tavaglione Mix)" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "I" | アレックス H O R R O R 666 (Tomie-13) | E​.​V​.​P. (Electronic Voice Phenomena) | Virtual Soundsystem
• "King Of The Hill" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
• "MechaGodzilla (ft. Renosaurio & Soghtroah)" | Cry Robot | The Entity In The Cosmos | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Stages" | Etxera | Cinco Segundos | Silent Method
• "Alone" | Windy & Carl | Allegiance and Conviction | kranky
• "White Leather" | Slum of Legs | Slum of Legs | Spurge
• "Lucille" | Little Richard | Silver Disc: 25 Years Of Ace | Ace
• "Feel Good All Over" | King Sporty | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Run To Mall (Fever 103° Remix)" | Mars89 | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Computer Love" | Kraftwerk | Computer World | Toshiba EMI
• "Cuarentena" | Orquesta Pandroginia | Pandemia | Virtual Soundsystem
• "The Creepy Crawl" | Tradition | Captain Ganja and the Space Patrol | Bokeh Versions
• "Credit Squeeze" | Brentford All Stars | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Even Then" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
• "Life's Work" | Handle | In Threes | Upset The Rhythm
• "True Opera" | Moor Jewelry | True Opera | Don Giovanni
• "Dervish Chant" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Riddle I This" | Dennis Alcapone | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Love You So Bad [Ben, 10-9-2016, at his apartment in Humboldt Park, Chicago]" | Ezra Furman | To Them We'll Always Be Freaks | self-released
• "Mourning The Lost" | The Billows Burn Bright | The Billows Burn Bright 2015​-​2020 | self-released
• "Super Stars" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "Pappas Got a Brand New Cornea" | Yokel ft Franco Franco & D Ham | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "Zion Higher" | Burning Spear | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "No Name Bar" | Isaac Hayes | Shaft (Music From the Soundtrack) | Stax
• "Honey Come Back" | Jerry Jones | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "And We're Off" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Sextape" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released

someone hold my phone 'cause i can't hold my tongue

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Honesty time. I dread these programs between the beginning of the lockdown and the death of George Floyd.

Yet somehow this program has my energy. I can’t deny it. Maybe it is inescapable.

I have this thing about noting the passage of musicians into the next life. Not sure where that comes from–possibly some feeling of responsibility, like it is my job to report current events? Sometimes I really feel the loss and sometimes I don’t. It’s somehow insulting to both Peter Greenfield of the Stranglers and Tony Allen that I sort of put them on the same level in this way. Surely there are others at the station who care more about the Stranglers than I ever did. It’s pretentious. But, like I say, my energy.

Another true confession: I don’t like the Mark Mulcahy song but I am lucky enough to have had a true companion during the pandemic who told me to play it. Such are the facts of life.

Change is on the way, but you knew that already.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 May 6, 2100-2300:

• "Once More" | The Wedding Present | Once More | Optic Nerve
• "Space Whiter" | Cry Robot | The Entity In The Cosmos | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Gothic Urban Blues" | Harry Stafford | Gothic Urban Blues | Black Lagoon
• "Something Better Change" | The Stranglers | Winters of Discontent | Strange Fruit
• "Secretly" | Hortense Ellis | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "N.E.P.A (Never Expect Power Always)" | Tony Allen | Africafunk: Return To The Original Sound Of 1970s Funky Africa | Harmless
• "cherubim" | serpentwithfeet | soil | Secretly Canadian
• "Muscle Chamber" | The Naturals | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "Kissing Embers" | the Cult of Lip | Out Of The Darkness | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Shimmer" | The Room in the Wood | We're the Martians, Now | A Turntable Friend
• "There Was Always Water" | Lonnie Holley | MITH | Jagjaguwar
• "The Lowest Common Denominator" | Macerator | The Shed Collective Vol.3 | Douglas Deep
• "III" | アレックス H O R R O R 666 (Tomie-13) | E​.​V​.​P. (Electronic Voice Phenomena) | Virtual Soundsystem
• "A Cat(s) Deli Ma - Live Recording" | Doomsquad | Spandrels Vol 2 | self-released
• "Catching Mice" | Mark Mulcahy | The Possum in the Driveway | Mezzotint | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Black Treasure" | Brentford All Stars | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Dugout" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
• "Asteroid Blues" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "Surrender To The Crags" | Electric Sewer Age | Contemplating Nothingness | Hallow Ground
• "DK Mode" | CURL | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Hada jil" | Aziza Brahim | Glitterbeat_tak:til_2019 | Glitterbeat
• "Shed" | Walya | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "Alien Circus" | Tradition | Captain Ganja and the Space Patrol | Bokeh Versions
• "4T Recordings" | Four Tet | 4T Recordings | Text
• "Hold Some More" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Winds howl" | Whalt Thisney | Quiethism | Kahvi Collective
• "Hong Kong to Amsterdam" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Carnival of Souls" | Letters From Mouse | Proto Human | Kahvi Collective
• "Tangerines" | Chris Carter | Chemistry Lessons Volume 1 | Mute
• "You Can Have Everything" | Closing Eyes | Eternal Fidelity | Blanca

the world got time for games with you

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FAM. I am trying so hard to get back on the horse and process the last 39 months. I have to honor the muse when she appears..

I detect a weirdly naive positivity in this program’s energy despite what must have been happening in my life right around this time. Happy Mondays, Pia Fraus and The Room In The Wood seem like vestiges of an earlier sensibility. But who cares? So much of reception depends on frame of mind. I happened to be feeling good the morning I listened back to this, so…

Mrs. Miller seems like self-parody, though, emblematic of a show whose concept is exhausted.

OTOH I don’t care how many times we play never say never, it will not be enough.

This program was mostly smooth and pleasant, intermittently interesting; not a bad way to spend a hundred and twenty minutes, I guess, but can I not ask for more from these mixtapes?

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 April 29, 2100-2300:

• "ALB19 27" | Loraine James | FYAI Demos + Ditched Album | self-released
• "Subaquatic Swerves" | Tradition | Captain Ganja and the Space Patrol | Bokeh Versions
• "Within Reach" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
• "Weekend S" | Happy Mondays | Squirrel And G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) [reissue] | London
• "Sweet Tart" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "Blue" | The Room in the Wood | We're the Martians, Now | A Turntable Friend
• "Black Qualls (feat. Steve Lacy, Steve Arrington, & Childish Gambino)" | Thundercat | It Is What It Is | Brainfeeder
• "Shaft's Cab Ride" | Isaac Hayes | Shaft (Music From the Soundtrack) | Stax
• "The Passenger" | Brian | Dabbs Hill | self-released
• "Palermo's Grunch" | Los Pirañas | Glitterbeat_tak:til_2019 | Glitterbeat
• "Moth To The Flame" | Windy & Carl | Allegiance and Conviction | kranky
• "The Baader-Meinhof Always Look So Good In Photos" | Slum of Legs | Slum of Legs | Spurge
• "Alekum Salem" | Sea Urchin | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "I'll Be Waiting" | Alton Ellis | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "II" | アレックス H O R R O R 666 (Tomie-13) | E​.​V​.​P. (Electronic Voice Phenomena) | Virtual Soundsystem
• "One For Ghost" / "Dilla Says Go" / "Walkinonit" / "The Factory" / "U-Love" / "Hi." / "Bye." / "Last Donut Of The Night" / "Welcome To The Show"" | J Dilla | Donuts [reissue] | Stones Throw
• "Eskrima" | Mx7 | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Uzume" | Mikael Fyrek | Further Asunder | Kahvi Collective
• "Folie Imposée" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "FurdaMurda" | SEEKERSINTERNATIONAL | RunComeTest EP | Bokeh Versions
• "Whose Gonna Save My Soul" | Electric Sewer Age | Contemplating Nothingness | Hallow Ground
• "Fantôme Mélancolique" | Pause Longue | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "A Lover's Concerto" | Mrs. Miller | Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits | Capitol | "The Listening Parlour"
• "A Pace Far Different (Demo)" | Gladie | Don't Stand So Close To Me: A Lame-O Compilation For Self Isolation | Lame-O Records
• "Never Say Never" | Romeo Void | Never Say Never | 415 / Columbia"The Entity" | Cry Robot | The Entity In The Cosmos | Virtual Soundsystem

why must we wait to do the things we want to do

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From my contemporaneous notes: "I have to say I enjoyed this show, it seems to demonstrate that I had made peace with pre-recording and had found a way to still be good." Wow, just wow. I suppose this is going to happen a lot, but I am just not as keen on this episode as I was at the time.

Listening to these broadcasts from another time always brings up a jumble of associations--what was happening then, what is happening now, etc. You know the deal. Get me out of this dream!, as the wise man says somewhere in this mix.

Even though it often feels inauthentic, there are a few surprise things here that probably shouldn't hit right but do anyway.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 April 22, 2100-2300:

• "What It Does" | Handle | In Threes | Upset The Rhythm
• "Far Too Gone" | Hallows | Subtle | Phage Tapes
• "African Science (Mix 2)" | TNT Roots | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Kervan Yolda" | BaBa ZuLa | Glitterbeat_tak:til_2019 | Glitterbeat
• "My Door Is Never" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "Where Next Columbus" | Crass | Penis Envy | Crass
• "Reckless" | Jay Glass Dubs | Epitaph | Bokeh Versions
• "Spandrels 3" | Doomsquad | Spandrels Vol 2 | self-released
• "RUTHE14ME" | Slum of Legs | Slum of Legs | Spurge
• "My Eyes" | John Holt | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Someday You Will Pay" | The Miller Sisters | Hillbilly Fillies & Rockin' Chicks | Charly | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Boogie In My Bones" | Laurel Aitken | The Story of Jamaican Music: Tougher Than Tough | Mango
• "Paisaje" | Ranil | Stay Safe & Sound Ranil Selection !! | Analog Africa
• "Reason in the Sky" | Alton Ellis | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Gospel For A New Century" | Yves Tumor | Heaven to a Tortured Mind | WARP
• "Electric Love" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "Down Harm's Way" | The Black Watch | Magic Johnson | ATOM
• "Whales Tails" | Cocteau Twins | Victorialand [reissue] | 4AD
• "Come Here Get Away From Me [Ezra & Tim, late December 2016, Studio Ballistico, Chicago]" | Ezra Furman | To Them We'll Always Be Freaks | self-released
• "Peeping Tom" | Brentford All Stars | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "O.K. Boomer" | Brian | Dabbs Hill | self-released
• "Finding the Sea (Live)" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux
• "I Woke Up in a Fucked​-​Up America" | Lonnie Holley | MITH | Jagjaguwar
• "Let It Fall" | Martin Bisi | Solstice | Bronson
• "Orderliness, Godliness, Discipline and Dignity" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Mydriasism" | The Sun's Evil Twin | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Anarchy in the U.K." | Sex Pistols | Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols [reissue] | Warner Bros. - Rhino
• "Ship Of Fools (Demo)" | An Horse | Don't Stand So Close To Me: A Lame-O Compilation For Self Isolation | Lame-O Records
• "Paper Flower Projects" | Pia Fraus | Empty Parks | Seksound
• "A Stupid Thought" | The Pristines | Shelter | Sunday
• "Imaginary Letters" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
• "There Is No Year" | Algiers | There Is No Year | MatadorEpitaph | Bokeh Versions

just because I really love you

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Welcome to Eighties night! Are you up for some Cocteau Twins? Shriekback? Breathless? Durutti Column? Crass? The Wedding Present? How about two versions of the same R.E.M. song? "Sure," I can hear you saying. "Sounds tubular." Public life had stopped when this broadcast aired, so why not time itself?

I must say, though--as good as the segues are (some of them are quite good), this show doesn't have a center. My methods may be new but the old shortcomings remain.

There aren't many chances for me to speak (I don't anticipate any complaints) due to the scarcity of instrumentals here, but there are lots of people, seemingly, burying their vocals in tonight's music. I remember this impulse--the vocalist needs to do something on the track but doesn't want to be understood, lest they be exposed, found having actually nothing to say.

I am trying to deprogram myself from these remembered impulses, but I think we'll see it happen on the program before it happens in real life.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 April 15, 2100-2300:

• "Keres" | Mikael Fyrek | Further Asunder | Kahvi Collective
• "Monkey Talk" | Breathless | The Glass Bead Game [reissue] | 1972 - Tenor Vossa
• "This Big Hush" | Shriekback | Oil And Gold | Island
• "Oomingmak" | Cocteau Twins | Victorialand [reissue] | 4AD
• "Subtle" | Hallows | Subtle | Phage Tapes
• "Te Quiero Mucho" | Ranil | Stay Safe & Sound Ranil Selection !! | Analog Africa
• "Sammy" | Brentford All Stars | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "TroubleRoundDiCorner" | SEEKERSINTERNATIONAL | RunComeTest EP | Bokeh Versions
• "Otis (Live)" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux
• "Land" | KL​/​BE​/​DH​/​RS | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "He Don't Love You" | Larry Williams | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Your Agent Man" | Cabaret Voltaire | 3 Crépuscule Tracks | Rough Trade
• "Ecstasy" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Heartbreak Hotel" | Brian | Dabbs Hill | self-released
• "Wolves, Lower" | The Death of Pop | Welcome To The Occupation, A Reverence to R.E.M. | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "The Sea B" | Lebend | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 4 - La Furia | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Still Too Far To Go" | Electric Sewer Age | Contemplating Nothingness | Hallow Ground
• "Cruel Set of Shades" | Harry Stafford | Gothic Urban Blues | Black Lagoon
• "At the Edge Of The Sea" | The Wedding Present | Once More | Optic Nerve
• "Problems" | Sex Pistols | Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols [reissue] | Warner Bros. - Rhino
• "Don't Bleach" | I Jahbar | Mutual Aid 2020 | Bokeh Versions
• "Nothing Bloomed" | Algiers | There Is No Year | Matador
• "Health Surface" | Crass | Penis Envy | Crass
• "Wolves, Lower" | R.E.M. | Dead Letter Office | I.R.S.
• "Dunkin" | Letters From Mouse | Proto Human | Kahvi Collective
• "Konowale" | Super Rail Band Of The Buffet Hotel Del La Gare De Bamako, Mali | New Dimensions In Rail Culture | Globe Style
• "Passwords" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
• "To My Benefitors" | Jay Glass Dubs | Epitaph | Bokeh Versions

i will love myself

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"I keep falling asleep during this episode," my notes say, "but I assure you it is quite good." Here's hoping you can (a) stay awake and (b) find this assessment accurate. Despite the distance between then and now, it's tough for me to be objective.

I know there are strong tunes here, but the segues seem weak to me. Plus, I just don't sound up for it. Hopefully you can excuse this--I'd had a bad week at work; specifically, I was threatened by a student and then scolded by my superiors for setting a boundary with this person. Prepare yourself for many work anecdotes to come. Things don't get better, despite what you may have heard.

In re. one of the artists on tonight's program, I should have said "Abby Normal" and not "Abe Normal." I had certainly listened to that release prior to playing it, but I suppose not carefully enough, or maybe I didn't retain the experience. Who knows. There is a lot of that to come too.

Sleep well, if it's what you need.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 April 8, 2100-2300:

• "Freedom Fighters" | Delroy Washington | Beyond the Frontline | Front Line - Virgin
• "Powerful" | Earthquake | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "The battle for Karbala" | Saint Abdullah | The Sounds of Evil - Vol. 1 | Boomarm Nation
• "Reformation!" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "Tiet" | Mikael Fyrek | Further Asunder | Kahvi Collective
• "How Many Stars?" | The Mekons | Glitterbeat_tak:til_2019 | Glitterbeat
• "Foliba" | Super Rail Band Of The Buffet Hotel Del La Gare De Bamako, Mali | New Dimensions In Rail Culture | Globe Style
• "Dancing With Aliens" | beto | DISBOARD | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Ballad of JC Quinn" | The Mystery Plan | Zsa Zsa | Ten Millimeter Omega
• "Mash / Time: The Donut Of The Heart / Glazed / Airworks / Lightworks / Stepson Of The Clapper / The Twister (Huh, What)" | J Dilla | Donuts [reissue] | Stones Throw
• "Sweet Sensation" | Half Nelson | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "Foundation (Mix 2)" | TNT Roots | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Losing Is Ours" | Algiers | There Is No Year | Matador
• "Psychedelic Rock" | Ernest Ranglin | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "The Call // Ravenous" | Hallows | Subtle | Phage Tapes
• "Guidance" | Yahweh Warriors | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Kajo Golo Weka" | Peter Tsotsi Juma & The Eagles Lupopo | Kenya Special (Selected East African Recordings From The 1970s & '80s) | Soundway
• "Happy Go Lucky Girl" | John Holt | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "side a" | abenrmal | [在常情節中找到自己] | Virtual Soundsystem
• "The Autojector" | Letters From Mouse | Proto Human | Kahvi Collective
• "Andalusia" | Ranil | Stay Safe & Sound Ranil Selection !! | Analog Africa
• "Get You Off My Mind" | The Freedom Singers | Jamaica All Stars Vol. 1 & 2 | Studio One / Coxsone
• "Trompo sin punta" | Aura en el espejo | Niñez | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Cob Twenty" | Happy Mondays | Squirrel And G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) [reissue] | London

hold on like i do

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Bless me, listeners, for I have sinned! It has been 575 days since my last post. And to paraphrase the world’s most famous TERF, I solemnly swear I have been up to no good.

Serendipity and dialectics: as I embark on a mission of piecing together the past, I find that this show performs a feat of alchemy, in piecing together various fragments of shows that I had planned on doing before the Great Lockdown, and yet striking me as “a little too perfect.” That’s what my notes from the time say, and I have no standing at present to second-guess them.

Early on, I feel like this program “makes no sense” and is “too retro”; it doesn’t seem to get into gear until about 20 minutes in, when we go from African Head Charge to TNT Roots to Breathless. And that’s just it, as pleasant and weird as this strikes me, I’m still struggling for content in this early-COVID period when the old can’t die and the new struggles to be born. I’m running on the fumes of old staples like The Blog That Celebrates Itself (RIP). Sometimes a thing is playing (let’s say Jay Glass Dubs) and it sounds like “my show” as I currently understand it and sometimes a different thing (I don’t want to name names here, but let’s imagine a band with a name that sounds like “Octo Fins”) and it just doesn’t sound like me.

I could never have guessed I would be here, but here I am. Thank you for hearing my confession.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 April 1, 2100-2300:

• "Kuff Dam" | Happy Mondays | Squirrel And G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) [reissue] | London
• "Sub-Mission" | Sex Pistols | Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols [reissue] | Warner Bros. - Rhino
• "Healing" | $entric | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "The Heart You Break May Be Your Own" | Patsy Cline | The Legendary Patsy Cline | Special Music | "The Listening Parlour"
• "How to Bring a Blush to the Snow" | Cocteau Twins | Victorialand [reissue] | 4AD
• "Healing Ceremony" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Glorious Dub" | TNT Roots | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Touchstone" | Breathless | The Glass Bead Game [reissue] | 1972 - Tenor Vossa
• "Cold Hands" | Numerals&Letters | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Repeating Night" | Algiers | There Is No Year | Matador
• "Animal Estate ft. Yorgia Karidi" | Jay Glass Dubs | Epitaph | Bokeh Versions
• "Lord of Hosts" | Earthquake | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Addis" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Habla Plasma" | PASS | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "True Love" | Ivan Black | Modern City Scapes | vanguardista
• "Chebo" | Electric Sewer Age | Contemplating Nothingness | Hallow Ground
• "Get Me Out Of Echo Park" | The Black Watch | Magic Johnson | ATOM
• "Mr. Land Freezer" | Pia Fraus | Empty Parks | Seksound
• "ブラジル" | Xela Memories | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Ubirr" | Mikael Fyrek | Further Asunder | Kahvi Collective
• "The Ghosts Of Winter Stalk This Land" | The Membranes | What Nature Gives...Nature Takes Away | Cherry Red"slow syrup" | serpentwithfeet | soil | Secretly Canadian
• "Joy_33 aci4.5test" | CYBEREALITY | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Space Carnival" | The Comet Is Coming | Channel The Spirits | Leaf
• "Ladaney (Woman's Name)" | Dur-Dur Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "We Were Dancing" | TUPPERWAVE | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Industrial dead" | Milbentia | Disintegration | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Dry" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux

I am pickled, I am done

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Now it can be told! Methods and agendas disclosed in this week's blurb. It's all here.

To begin we have to go back to the very early days of this program, when I decided (a) my library was not enough and (b) I had to chase the ghosts of my past and prove that I could follow the "rules" of my old radio station from undergrad days, which I was never good at doing. There's a lot to unpack there but I'm sure somewhere along the way I have referred to what I often do as LARPing and that is basically the jist of it.

We used to have this rule about "currency," according to which your playlist was supposed to be 30% "current" records. This meant playing discs from the "current" bin, and what was in there had been added by the station (NB: not necessarily "released," just acquired) within the last 3 months. To the extent that I was ever successful at this, it was only just: early on I had a lot to learn from the past and somewhere along the way I decided that the present (at that moment) wasn't up to my standards and apparently I wasn't open to many new experiences. I look back on this as a failure that I have to correct. For whom? The voice in my head of course.

So, anyway, in 2013 or so, when this show was less than ten programs old, I was auditioning lots of new releases on Spotify and building my playlists that way. I would often call this "radio magic" or whatever, but it was a kind of fraud. It helped, but didn't help, that at some point we got this software at the station called DeejayPro that could incorporate Spotify into your broadcast (controversially, I guess).

This created a couple of messes: one was the general fakeness of many programs, even though I was sharing music that I genuinely liked--not to mention the use of that awful, unethical app--and the technical issue of playing those supercompressed mp3s (evident in last week's disaster).

Apparently it took a global pandemic to force me to reconsider, but on this broadcast I said goodbye to the old ways. I would only use actual sound files in my possession, currency be damned--this meant using what I owned and what I was buying, which also meant a deeper commitment, which I consider a good thing. It also meant the return of dynamics and crazy levels, which I guess is also a good thing because it's teaching me to embrace imperfection even though I hate it.

So this particular show features a lot of material I picked up on the very first "Bandcamp Friday," five days prior, as well as things I'd bought recently. But, I have to say--it also included a lot of promotional freebies (including yet another cringeworthy Membranes track--what is it with them?), plenty of channeling 1985 and 1986 (so what else is new), and, let's face it, a big focus on the white past and not the black future. I don't know how it's possible to do a show that's "honest" and at the same time "in bad faith" but I manage.

That said, I really miss old R.E.M. and I did love the then-recent viral video of Michael Stipe singing along to "Underneath the Bunker."

I also miss Richenel and I miss the days when that This Mortal Coil cd blew my little mind; now it's all wrapped up in guilt and regret. Here's hoping someday it will sound fresh again.

Since this program was broadcast, 410 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 55 times. I have delivered 54 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. That gives us a lot of time to work through my issues, and there are many of them.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 March 25, 2100-2300:

• "Yahweh The Redeemer" | TNT Roots | Raw Dub Creator | Bokeh Versions
• "Russell" | Happy Mondays | Squirrel And G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) [reissue] | London
• "Pandora's Box" | The Membranes | What Nature Gives...Nature Takes Away | Cherry Red
• "Old Man Kensey" | The Starling Effect | Welcome To The Occupation, A Reverence to R.E.M. | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Coelocanth" | Shriekback | Oil And Gold | Island
• "Slumpledunk" | LameBøy™ | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Cattle Herders Chant" | African Head Charge | Songs of Praise [reissue] | On-U Sound
• "Late Summer Night" | Pia Fraus | Empty Parks | Seksound
• "Dekotur" | Electric Sewer Age | Contemplating Nothingness | Hallow Ground
• "Inch-Blue" / "I Want To Live" / "Mama K (1)" / "Filigree & Shadow" / "Firebrothers" / "Thais (I)" / "I Must Have Been Blind" / "A Heart of Glass" | This Mortal Coil | Filigree & Shadow | 4AD
• "Hollywood 4-5-92" | American Music Club | Mercury | Virgin | "The Listening Parlour"
• "The Earth Is Flat (Fool's Anthem)" | The Room in the Wood | We're the Martians, Now | A Turntable Friend
• "People's Pleasure Park" | The Durutti Column | Vini Reilly [reissue] | Factory Benelux
• "Albores De Mi Selva" | Ranil | Stay Safe & Sound Ranil Selection !! | Analog Africa
• "See How the Land Lies" | Breathless | The Glass Bead Game [reissue] | 1972 - Tenor Vossa
• "Garlands" | Cocteau Twins | Garlands [reissue] | 4AD
• "Johnny Damas and Me" | Brian | Dabbs Hill | self-released
• "The Usher" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "Plainsong" | Darkswoon | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "you're so sad" | Fever 103° | Avon Garde | Avon Terror Corps
• "いつかきっと" | beto | DISBOARD | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Big Blow" | Manu Dibango | Africafunk: Return To The Original Sound Of 1970s Funky Africa | Harmless

Didn't know it was a song you hated to sing

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There is a weird symmetry to this post, as it comes (seemingly) at the end of the pandemic era even as I am trying to make sense of how it began. Maybe there was a point in dragging my feet all this time. Increasingly I think things happen as they are meant to, when they are meant to. My brain must be getting old, soft, and smooth.

Everything shut down very quickly in the second and third weeks of March 2020. By the time of this broadcast New York State was under a lockdown. I knew in advance that I would not be able to do this program "live," and I foolishly went ahead with the show that I had planned anyway.

(Ironically, on the night, I was unable to connect remotely to the airplay computer to do my weekly programming tasks, so I ventured down to the station only to find out that I--and everyone else--was literally locked out. So this was how things were going to be.)

"Going ahead with the show that I had planned anyway" meant basically digitally recording a Spotify playlist and uploading that digital recording. The results are--well, here they are. Listen for yourself. For me, every segue is perfect (timing-wise if not conceptually), every song sounds crushed. It's a travesty but I am committed to posting everything, even the travesties. "Dododo (Ekassa No. 1)" is such a great recording too. I guess I will have to buy that box set after all.

There aren't even enough current tunes here to satisfy that fetish for me. It's tough to know at this point what I was thinking. I was probably just scrambling. How long did I think the lockdown would last? One week, I say at the end. How optimistic was I?

Did I invent the term plaguecasting? I am taking credit for it in any case.

Since this program was broadcast, 416 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 56 times. I have delivered 55 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm not sure any of them sound worse than this one, but miracles are always possible.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 March 18, 2100-2300:

• "Ire" | The Don Isaac Ezekiel Combination | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Airport Lounge" | | 空港ラウンジのドリームスケープ | | D R E A M S C A P E | New Era : 2020 Virtual Soundsystem
• "Dododo (Ekassa No. 1)" | Sir Victor Uwaifo & His Melody Maestroes | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "We Spartan Dreggs (Be Fine)" | The Spartan Dreggs | Punk Rock ist nicht tot | Damaged Goods
• "Doom" | Jaxe | Seekings EP | Dom Trojga
• "MERCURIO" | DJ MALVIAJE | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Ikon Allah" | Bala Miller & The Great Music Pyrameeds Of Afrika | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "The Morning Ritual" | Rephazer | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Free The World" | Inkräktare | We Are Not Really Here | ELaB
• "Wetin De Watch Goat, Goat Dey Watcham" | Eric (Showboy) Akaeze And His Royal Ericos | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Glow In The Night" | Blacklit | Out Of The Darkness | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Chamber Assent" | Whistling Arrow | Whistling Arrow | God Unknown
• "We Can't Be Found" | Algiers | We Can't Be Found | Matador
• "Don't Wanna Hold Your Hand" | Thee Headcoatees | Punk Girls | Damaged Goods
• "Web in Front" | Kudzu Wish | Kudzu Wish | Ernest Jenning Record Co.
• "Blackholeyday" | Car Crash Sisters | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 3 - Viva Mexico! | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "How To Start A Revolution" | Wrangler | How To Start A Revolution | Bella Union
• "Want Me - Win Me" | Thee Headcoats | In Tweed We Trust | Damaged Goods
• "Grinding Halt" | The Cure | Three Imaginary Boys | Fiction - Rhino | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Vaults of Arcadia" | Space Dimension Controller | ReSEQ | R & S
• "Strange Selfies" | Yaka-anima | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Henrietta" | Ali Chukwumah & His Peace Makers International | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "What Nature Gives...Nature Takes Away" | The Membranes | What Nature Gives...Nature Takes Away | Cherry Red
• "Unity In Africa" | Eji Oyewole | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Everso" | The Telescopes | Losing Touch With My Mind: Psychedelia In Britain 1986-1990 | Cherry Red
• "Breeze" | Lush | Gala | 4AD
• "Noise Floor" | Chris Carter | Chemistry Lessons Volume 1 | Mute
• "Dekagon" | Karl Hector & The Malcouns | Non Ex Orbis | Now-Again

For they knew someday the sun would die

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For months I left my page-a-day calendar on March 10, 2020. At first it was genuine shock and refusal. I probably thought in the beginning that it would just be a few weeks. After a while it was a more self-conscious, pretentious gesture, my own Hiroshima clock. God knows what I must have been thinking on the day after society stopped, but this program is a real "twilight" show, the first dispatch from the new world in which we found ourselves, and the final example of the "old way" of doing things.

In a real example of not appreciating what you have while you still have it, I sat in the Kenny Ritter Memorial Studio for the last time, mostly pushing buttons to play music I didn't care much about. "I don’t understand why I play things like Snow Ghosts," my notes say. I must have heard it weeks before and not hated it, which is about as much positivity as I could muster. I don't even like "quiet rituals." I want loud ones. The segues, early on at least, were abysmal; what even was the concept?

To the extent that I mention events in this program, I shouldn't have, because I couldn't be sure they were going to happen, and I'm almost positive that they didn't.

Since this program was broadcast, 411 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 55 times. I have delivered 54 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. The future is here. We're soaking in it.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 March 11, 2100-2300:

• "Ajoyio" | Chief Commander Ebenezer Obey & His International Brothers | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Super Mario Bros. X" | Potted Plant | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Polygraph Test" | The Guy Hamper Trio | Punk Rock ist nicht tot | Damaged Goods
• "Lovesong" | Lost Tapes with Haunted Magic | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Lady Bird" | Nancy & Lee | Nancy & Lee | Reprise | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Inside The Waves (Radio Edit)" | AICRXG | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Upsy-Daisy" | The Black Watch | Magic Johnson | ATOM
• "Tutorial para besar a una mujer" | Aura en el espejo | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Bisi's Beat" | Soki Ohale's Uzzi | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Whole hole explorer" | elAstrum | Freqmod | Kahvi Collective
• "Surrender" | Snow Ghosts | A Quiet Ritual | Houndstooth
• "Onyame" | Ashanti Afrika Jah | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "She Said" | Karl Hund | Karl Hund | Violette
• "Flesh & Blood" | Beto | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Fire" | The Jimi Hendrix Experience | BBC Sessions [reissue] | Jimi Hendrix Vinyl Collection / Legacy / Sony
• "Vuelve" | Xaman Ek | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Strawberry Wolf" | Wild Yaks | Great Admirer | Ernest Jenning Record Co.
• "Pas Mal" | The Young Gods | L'Eau Rouge / Red Water [reissue] | [PIAS] Le Label
• "Novelty" | Peel Dream Magazine | Up and Up | Tough Love
• "Gobonimada Jira (Choose Freedom)" | Bakaka Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "Kellin It (feat. Han Litz & Trujillo)" | Inkswel | The Sound | Apparel Tonic
• "Inkling" | Coil | Stolen & Contaminated Songs | Cold Spring
• "Agboju Logun" | Shina Williams & His African Percussionists | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "The Painter" | Levente | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Baayo (Hey Woman)" | Mukhtar Ramadan Idii | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "The Secret of Your Grace" | Margaret | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "She healed him in her sleep" | XVARR | Echoes of Time | Good Morning Tapes

Progress gives way to a fiction

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A great show awaits you, and in even better news, it's my show! The only element missing is Lady Catharsis, who has arrived by and by at a grudging respect for The Fall, tonight's featured artiste.

Here is yet another posthumous Hall of Legends induction, since I lazily made the band charter members and then for whatever reason never asked to talk to the man himself. I need to start talking to people again.

Anyway, I guess this is where the origin story goes but once again there really isn't one. I have a weird memory of being 17, and being driven by my mother to a halloween party (I didn't get a driver's license until age 25), insisting on listening to KDVS in the car, and hearing a very distinctive song that stuck with me for about a decade before I figured out it was "Barmy." In my early days deejaying for that same station I would play "Hey! Luciani" and whatever the U.S. equivalent of Bend Sinister was. Jeremy, Friend of the Program, had a copy of In: Palace of Swords Reversed and we all loved "Marquis Cha-Cha." I had a copy of the Steve Barker compilation Bugs on the Wire and still think the version of "Wings" on that is the best one. In the waning days of the record store at which I worked, I gave myself a very special discount on the 458489 A Sides cd compilation, which tided me over until graduate school, during which time all the Beggars Banquet albums were reissued on cd and my obsession really began. Mark E. Smith used to say that Fall fans were the salt of the earth; as with Coil, there's no great explanation why this cishet black guy with a doctorate is among them; life just bounces!

Recommendations: the two best three-album runs are Perverted By Language > The Wonderful and Frightening World Of... > This Nation's Saving Grace and The Real New Fall L.P. > Fall Heads Roll > Reformation. If for some perverse reason you must own only one thing by this band, make it the Peel Sessions box set. That is the real story, right there.

I feel like I have to address this: by several accounts Mark E. Smith is a first-class asshole and an easily cancellable person. I know this. As a recovering abuser myself I give him a certain forbearance. That is all.

Anyway, "Why Are People Grudgeful" goes crazy on the turntable but winds up sounding alright. Otherwise I think the show is a technical success. It's a perfectly fine but random selection; at least I manage to play things I have not played before, unlike the Coil program from a week ago.

I don’t know why I had to remind people that it was a live show? Was it because I hadn’t spoken for a while? Or because I made some embarrassing error that has been memory-holed by post-production magic? Editing was so long ago.

Since this program was broadcast, 415 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 56 times. I have delivered 54 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. "It's a living," I would say, if it were a livelihood and if I were truly living. Maybe someday.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 March 5, 2100-2300:

• "Bombast" | The Fall | This Nation's Saving Grace | Beggars Banquet
• "Totally Wired" | The Fall | Singles 1978 - 2016 | Cherry Red
• "Brillo De Facto" | The Fall | New Facts Emerge | Cherry Red Records
• "Systematic Abuse" | The Fall | Reformation Post T.L.C. | Narnack Records
• "Stepping Out" | The Fall | Short Circuit - Live At The Electric Circus | Virgin
• "Lucifer over Lancashire" | The Fall | Bend Sinister / The Domesday Pay-Off Triad -Plus! | Beggars Banquet
• "Pay Your Rates (Live in Vienna 16/4/88)" | The Fall | Seminal Live | Beggars Banquet
• "Plug Myself In" | D.O.S.E. Feat. Mark E. Smith | A World Bewitched: Best Of 1990-2000 | Artful
• "Why Are People Grudgeful?" | The Fall | Why Are People Grudgeful? | Matador
• "Blindness" | The Fall | Fall Heads Roll | Narnack Records
• "Sing! Harpy" | The Fall | Extricate | Cog Sinister
• "Kurious Oranj (Live)" | The Fall | Cab It Up | Beggars Banquet
• "Arid Al's Dream" | The Fall | Volume Four | Volume
• "Barmy" | The Fall | This Nation's Saving Grace | Beggars Banquet
• "The Rhinohead" | Von Sudenfed | The Rhinohead / Slow Down Ronnie | Domino
• "Theme from Sparta F.C." | The Fall | The Real New Fall LP (Formerly 'Country On The Click') | Action Records
• "Put Away" | The Fall | Mixed Peel | New Musical Express
• "Chicago Now" | The Fall | Extricate | Cog Sinister
• "Cruiser's Creek (Single Version Remastered)" | The Fall | Singles 1978 - 2016 | Cherry Red
• "2x4" | The Fall | The Complete Peel Sessions 1978 - 2004 | Castle Music
• "Pacifying Joint" | The Fall | Fall Heads Roll | Narnack Records
• "(I'm) In Deep" | Coldcut | What's That Noise? | Tommy Boy / Reprise
• "A Day in the Life" | The Fall | Sgt. Pepper Knew My Father | New Musical Express

Winter lives in my heart

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One week to go before time stops.

I guess this particular outing is a "grower." It seems forced early on; Kristin Hersh and Mogadisco don’t really go together nicely, for example, nor does Vanitas follow smoothly. The overall vibe smacks of the insincerity and LARPing that, I feel, characterizes many of these programs from the "before" time. "I like this Africa 70 collection a lot," I say, but I don’t own it. So what is it, other than something to fill airtime in which I may not need to squat, and why should anyone else care?

I may not be the 20-year old idiot who used to play the same handful of Cocteau Twins records every week, but "growth" is overrated. I have settled into a different kind of groove . It’s feeling kind of pointless.

But it could always be worse--there’s a strange urgency to this program that I can hear in the recording. I swear it’s not memory playing tricks on me, because at a baseline level I can barely tell one current show from another at this point. I can only attribute the urgency to this show’s unfolding in real time, with a fiery crash always just around the corner. There is something more than content to these experiences—it’s the capture of a live singularity that’s important, not what I play per se.

Or maybe it's just because the records can skip, like the Legendary Pink Dots disc that I play here. "Thanks for sticking with us," indeed.

Since this program was broadcast, 413 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 56 times. I have delivered 53 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. Only two more episodes "like this" to go--one to treasure, and one about which you can definitely say, "that happened."

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 March 4, 2100-2300:

• "Tempus Fugit" | Closed Loop | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Snake Oil" / "Pearl" | Kristin Hersh | Cats and Mice | Kitten Charmer | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Hab Isii" | Omar Shooli | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "新しい時代, YES!" | VANITAS命死 | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Wasting My Time" | Hannah Cohen | Wasting My Time | Bella Union
• "Tramsystem Battle" | Terror of Evil | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Pretty Nice" | Chicago Odense Ensemble | Chicago Odense Ensemble | El Paraiso
• "Down where it's wetter" | Pandacetamol | Driftwood | Kahvi Collective
• "Allah Wakbarr" | Ofo The Black Company | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Melfuf" | Rizan Said | Saz Û Dilan | Akuphone
• "Kinringjingbin" | Dr Victor Olaiya's International All-Stars | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Gruppe Erdheim" | Fehler Kuti | Schland Is The Place For Me | Alien Transistor
• "Yabis" | Sir Shina Peters And His International Stars | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Carnaval Soca - Antal Edit" | Daniel Dimbas | La Differencia - Antal & Palms Trax Edits | No Label
• "Koladi-Ola" | Yello | Stella | Mercury
• "Moon Two" | Chris Carter | Chemistry Lessons Volume 1 | Mute
• "Laugh/Joy/Happiness" | Diego Esnaurrizar | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Waiting for the Cloud" | The Legendary Pink Dots | Any Day Now [reissue] | Metropolis
• "NORTH" | Evaporated | New Era : 2020 | Virtual Soundsystem
• "Flowers" | Galaxie 500 | Today [reissue] | 20|20|20
• "Tiamat" | Marco Paul | Adonai | Forbidden Colours
• "A Strange Perfume" | The Membranes | What Nature Gives...Nature Takes Away | Cherry Red
• "Triptophan" | Curious Inversions | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Outro - Wisdom" | Lee "Scratch" Perry | Heavy Rain | On-U Sound
• "Divine Dub (Alpha & Omega Remix)" | Dubzoic feat. Livio Roaring Bass | "Divine" Featuring Fikir Amlak | Steppas
• "Blurry Youth - Elise Reshape" | François X | Irregular Passion Reshaped | Dement3d
• "Dub Conscious" | Digital | Shadows | Function

Now you know our truth

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The pandemic has made me extra-fond of this episode, because it's one of the last "specials" I did before the lockdown, but I think this episode might be suitable for the pantheon in any timeline. I had of course already inducted Coil into the Bombast Hall of Legends, in four stages, to go along with their "equinox" / "solstice" series. Early days! But here I wind up with airtime on what would be Peter Christopherson's birthday, so it's a "proper" chance to devote the full two hours to their music (and other things, with apologies to Jhonn Balance).

I pronounce PC's surname like "Kristofferson" although I don't really know if that's correct--I become wistful about the Dif Juz HoL induction, triggered by that very question. How lucky I was that at least two of them are alive to answer the question. But not in this case. This program is for the spirits, and for the fans, and for the uninitiated.

There is no cool or interesting origin story for me and my Coil records. I'm sure that Jeremy, Friend of the Program, used to encourage me to play Scatology late at night on the radio, many years ago. And there was a kind docent at the local record store, Alex, who insisted I take home The Unreleased Themes for Hellraiser 10-inch. I'm not a pagan, I'm not into male-only onanistic rituals or anything, I'm just a black cishet guy who loves music that is unusual and good and unusually good. My tastes are probably almost as boring as I am.

I guess I stuck with Coil over the years because they were prolific and restless, building a catalog that is almost self-sufficient--not merely a "desert island disc" but a desert island body of work. In that ridiculous hypothetical, you'd hardly need anyone else's records. Also, there are only a handful of “industrial “ artists who (to me) are unproblematic. It’s a depressingly short list--Coil, Cabaret Voltaire, Chris & Cosey, Test Dept., Bourbonese Qualk, Einsturzende Neubauten, Nocturnal Emissions, Zoviet France, I'm not sure whom I'm forgetting...Everyone else seems too close to Alain Jourgensen, too close to Douglas Pearce, or is actually Genesis. This last bit is less trivial than it sounds--Coil's presence on a compilation is a really good indicator of quantity. I've "discovered" a lot of good sounds just picking up the various "various artists" records on which Coil appeared. And I take the willingness to do comps as an indicator of niceness in a person--easygoing, plays well with others, etc.

So I guess that's it.

It was a lovely evening sitting in the studio and letting the music flow through me, loudly, though I couldn’t seem to say anything correctly when it was time to speak. There is a certain magic(k) in the air whether you listen to this in blinding sunlight or at nighttime as intended.

Since this program was broadcast, 418 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 57 times. I have delivered 53 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I am most definitely biased but I have to say that none of those episodes are better than this one.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 27, 2100-2300:

• "First Dark Ride" | Coil | Unnatural History III | Threshold House
• "Who'll Fall" | Coil | Stolen & Contaminated Songs | Cold Spring
• "20 Jazz Funk Greats" | Throbbing Gristle | 20 Jazz Funk Greats | Mute
• "Red Skeletons" | Coil Presents Black Light District | A Thousand Lights in a Darkened Room | Eskaton
• "Homage To Sewage" | Coil | Life At The Top | Third Mind / Abstract
• "Futhur" | Coil | Stolen & Contaminated Songs | Cold Spring
• "Princess Margaret's Man In the D'jamalfna" | Coil | The New Backwards | Important Records
• "Amethyst Deceivers" | Coil | Autumn Equinox: Amethyst Deceivers | Eskaton
• "Distant Dreams (Part Two)" | Throbbing Gristle | The Industrial Records Story | Illuminated
• "Love's Secret Domain" | Coil | Stolen & Contaminated Songs | Cold Spring
• "Feeder" | CTI With Coil | Core - A Conspiracy International Project | Conspiracy International
• "Panic" | Coil | Unnatural History III | Threshold House
• "Cowboys In Bangkok 1995 (Coil vs Elph Mix)" | Chris & Cosey | Twist | T & B Vinyl
• "The Snow" | Coil | Love's Secret Domain | Threshold House
• "In My Head A Crystal Sphere Of Heavy Fluid" | Peter Christopherson | Foxtrot | Chalice
• "The Last Amethyst Deceiver" | Coil | The Ape of Naples | Important Records
• "Neither His Nor Yours" | Coil | A Diamond Hidden In The Mouth Of A Corpse | Giorno Poetry Systems
• "Dark River" | Coil | Love's Secret Domain | Threshold House
• "The Lost Rivers of London" | Coil | Unnatural History III | Threshold House

Everything is good and divine

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Wednesday is my day of healing: first therapy, and then this. My therapist thinks my dj hobby is creativity. I think it is self-expression at best. I have never believed that djs are artists or that spinning and mixing records is a performance. I have done art and I have done performance; I may do these things again, god help us all. But for reasons of trauma those are in the past.

There is plenty of new trauma unfolding in the present. Work was not going well at the time of this broadcast. I was feeling inadequate and afraid to show up as myself. Little did I know what kind of blessing the pandemic would be in this regard.

The program is my one arena for seeming and feeling competent. Listening back to the programs from this time, I do wonder what any of it has to do with "the self." I think that has gotten better, but you'll have to wait.

Since this program was broadcast, 416 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 58 times. I have delivered 53 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. At long last I have set up my voice-over mic and preamp in my new house. I am accepting the new reality by and by, probably just in time for it to end.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 26, 2100-2300:

• "The Feeling" | Orlando Voorn | The Feeling | Bosh
• "I Can't Get Along Without You - Instrumental" | Vance and Suzzanne | I Can't Get Along Without You | Kalita
• "Hope Reminds Me Of Her" | Hadone | The World of Monnom Black II | Monnom Black
• "Maze Exit" | Brioskj | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Hoobeya (Somali Traditional Chant)" | Shimaali & Killer | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "Worried Man" | Jeb Loy Nichols | Cash Covered | Mojo Magazine
• "Dan Asher - King Britt Mudd Club Mix" | Gray | Shades of... Anthology | Ubiquity
• "Keep Out" | Nominalbeat | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Status" | Midnight Embassy | Midnight Embassy | International Major Label
• "Ire Africa" | Chief Checker | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Suck It Like a Whistle" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
• "Let Dreamer's Dream (Daydream)" | Vince Watson | DnA - EP1 | Everysoul
• "Homesick" | I Kill Kane | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "ADA" | NNYZ? | Reveries | self-released
• "Call Me Anything (But Call Me)" | Maggie Sue Wimberly | Hillbilly Fillies & Rockin' Chicks | Charly | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Oxford Guitar Club" | Lloyd Meadows | Oxford Synthesizer Club | The Beautiful Music
• "Fell from the Sun" | Kendra Smith, David Roback, Keith Mitchell | Fell From The Sun | Serpent
• "Coincidence" | Fallende | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Shaleedayaa (By Myself)" | Dur-Dur Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "Onipa" | Onipa | Onipa / Makoma | Strut
• "African Dialects" | Peter King | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Kele Bila (Stop Fighting)" | Mr Raoul K | African Paradigm | Compost
• "Amino Acids" | Hardwired | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Happy Survival" | Ifeanyi Eddie Okwedy & His Maymores Dance Band | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "2d Objects" | Jabber | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective

I've killed everybody, now what

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"Who’s listening?" I wonder out loud in my notes to this program. So much of the time on the radio I actually want to be "alone," at least left to my own devices. Sometimes the isolation gets to me and this must have been one of those times. Was I having some kind of premonition, or advance feeling of what the next 14 months would be like?

Strangely this program seems "authentic" even though it is heavily Spotify-driven. It saddens me on a couple of levels to listen, but perhaps it will do you or someone else good.

Looking at the playlist very little of it connects or makes sense or reflects commitment, except for Primal Scream covering Roky Erickson of all things. And how many times can I play that?

Since this program was broadcast, 420 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 58 times. I have delivered 52 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. It's getting easier to do this again, a bit less embarrassing as I pick through the mess.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 19, 2100-2300:

• "Slip Inside This House" | Primal Scream | Screamadelica | Creation / Sire
• "Desperate Mantra" | Fallende | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Coolie" | Sarathy Korwar | Coolie | Leaf
• "Sweet Salts 2" | SJ Tequilla | Sanya | Craigie Knowes
• "Akayan Ekassa" | Sir Victor Uwaifo | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Alpha Blueprint Signal" | Abjective | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Dancing Time" | The Funkees | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Craggie Helm" | The Three Mothers | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Temperature's Rising" | Galaxie 500 | Today [reissue] | 20|20|20
• "Roswell Sunset" | Legendary Pink Dots | Legendary Pink Dots' Christmas Special 2019 | self-released
• "When The Morning Comes" | The Claim | The New Industrial Ballads | A Turntable Friend
• "Inu Mimo" | Sina Bakare | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Waakaa Helaa (I Like You)" | Fadumo Qassim & Shareero | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "Drowning" | The English Beat | Beat This! The Best Of The English Beat | Go-Feet / London
• "Sinewe - l'Eglise de Tominia" | Mamadou Kelly | Les Bateaux | Claremont
• "In The Clouds" | dayflower | petal drops | self-released
• "It's Never Alright" | Ramleh | It's Never Alright / Kerb Krawler | Fourth Dimension
• "I'll Make You Sorry" | Screaming Females | Hugs for Chelsea: benefit for Chelsea Manning | not on label
• "The Pontiac" | Tom Waits | Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards | Anti- / Epitaph | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Illimite" | Sainte Anne | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Sweet Love" | Samuel Jonathan Jackson | My Music | Be With
• "Bounce (elevators)" | NNYz? | Reveries | self-released
• "Sunkwa" | Gyedu-Blay Ambolley | 11th Street, Sekondi | Agogo
• "Ifa" | Tunji Oyelana & The Benders | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Yamona - Detroit Swindle Remix" | Pat Thomas & Kwashibu Area Band | Yamona (Detroit Swindle Remix) | Strut
• "Life" | Moneyman And The Super 5 International | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Time Catch" | Kri Tik | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective

Maybe getting somewhere doesn't seem like a lot

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Shockingly I had stopped drinking, at least for this week, and had been working very hard at the gym with nothing to show for it. On this day I wrote down that I'd had a four-hour training at work just to be the backup to a backup on some issue or other. I had scribbled something less-than-profound, I'm sure, about the ongoing Democratic primary, but let's face it, I was done caring.

Anyway, "a conceptually and technically perfect show?" Is this really what my notes say? It isn't true, though this one gives me pleasure even now, confirming that it has not all been a waste. And I even got props from drummer John over the phone, who was playing with a cat while waiting for his friend to wake up and give him a toke. I had always hoped that this program would be a soundtrack for positive experiences, so achievement unlocked.

Since this program was broadcast, 425 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 59 times. I have delivered 52 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I wonder if it is a victory just to tread water at this point; it is certainly "funny" to hear myself say during the program that I am "only" thirteen programs behind on this site. I could just give up, but then that would only prove right the people in my life who say I don't take ownership of anything.

New York just legalized marijuana, so I am looking forward to more altered states of my own in the near future. I've been told by more than one person that I need this, so it must be true.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 12, 2100-2300:

• "Music" | Henry Turner's Crystal Band | Music | Kalita
• "Pancake Lizard" | Aphex Twin | Peel Session 2 | WARP
• "Delphine (St. Malo Mix)" | Camomille Dawn | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Rough for Radio" | Seefeel | Peel Session | WARP
• "Mindblock" | Shiken Hanzo | Maya Warfare EP | Repertoire
• "Seven Souls" | Material | Seven Souls | Virgin
• "Shells" | Teebs | Anicca | Brainfeeder
• "Jackson" | Nancy & Lee | Nancy & Lee | Reprise | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Underwater" | Jabber | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Memory Loop" | Daniel Avery | Song For Alpha (B-sides & Remixes) | Phantasy Sound / Mute
• "Adelina" | Toada | Cambiante | pluma
• "Monochrome" | Dog in the Snow | Vanishing Lands | Bella Union
• "Ashikibaya - Sam Jones Construct" | Siti Muharam | Ashikibaya | On The Corner
• "Mind of Jacob" | Nu Era | EVOLVE | Omniverse
• "Disassociation Effect" | Peel Dream Magazine | Up and Up | Tough Love
• "Lana Hidjori" | Mamadou Kelly | Les Bateaux | Claremont
• "Ratopia" | Lakmus Red | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Boloko" | Bantou Mentale | Bantou Mentale | Glitterbeat
• "Wiggle Waggle" | Longwave Radio | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "All That Matters Is The Moments" | The Comet Is Coming | Afterlife | Impulse
• "Wintergatan" | Sampleman and the Music Mutant | Apotropaic | self-released
• "Rob's Nightmare" | LFO | Peel Session | WARP
• "White Burn" | Letters from Mouse | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Kita Kita" | Gasper Lawal | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Hybrid Nineteen" | Zainetica | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Existential Blowfish" | Afuma | Songs From The Shore | Blank Forms
• "Altered States" | Fushara | The Mystics | Transmute
• "Blowing" | Girl in a gale | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective

No now, no then

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I must have been in a bad mood when this program aired, but what is new? This was the day my therapist told me to stop drinking and to see a psychiatrist. I did one of these things. I will let you guess which one it was.

ANYWAY! The program starts off well but for some reason I don’t talk during a long King Sunny Ade instrumental. I am Just Not On My A Game.

"Energies Collide" is really heteronormative, wow-- "Reunite the tantric spark, the magic?" Is this the Sting universe? They say that when you're happy you listen to atmosphere and groove and when you're depressed you tune into the lyrics. Maybe I have been happy all this time.

"Words of Expectation" is a real room-clearer, this live rendition being more annoying than I remember. It wasn’t a good segue either. I talked over “encore,” oops, but Dylan Thomas can get bent.

Since this program was broadcast, 426 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 59 times. I have delivered 51 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. These numbers don't seem to be moving...

My therapist, when she was not giving me advice that I only partially heeded, told me, "not every trace of your existence has to disappear from the fabric of space-time." This is a good thing to remember as I try to get back into the swing of documenting this ongoing adventure.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 5, 2100-2300:

• "Ja Fun Mi - Instrumental" | King Sunny Ade | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Brent" | Girl in a gale | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "Energies Collide" | Black Jazz Consortium | Evolution of Light | Perpetual Sound
• "Latin Parang" | Colleen Grant | Latin Parang / Parang Jam | Soundway
• "Wrecked" | Zonal | Wrecked | Relapse
• "She Don't Want That" | Midnite Snaxxx | Music Inside | Slovenly
• "Better Change Your Mind" | William Onyeabor | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
• "Abstract of Expression" | The Durutti Column | Fidelity [reissue] | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
• "Four Feet" | Otik | Blasphemy | Boogie Box
• "In Wooded Country" | Whistling Arrow | Whistling Arrow | God Unknown
• "Wild Sand" | Secret Wilderness | Out Of The Darkness | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
• "Go Back to Oly" | Elite Beat | Selected Rhythms | Research Records
• "Words of Expectation - Live, Larry's Hideaway, Toronto, Canada, 21 April 1983" | The Fall | Room To Live [reissue] | Cherry Red
• "A Lover Sings" | Billy Bragg | Best Of Billy Bragg At The BBC 1983 - 2019 | Cooking Vinyl
• "Encore" | The Velvet Orchestra | Velvet Desert Music Vol. 1 | Kompakt
• "Josephine" | Michael Head & The Red Elastic Band | Adios Señor Pussycat | Violette
• "Wonder Why" | dayflower | petal drops | self-released
• "Lazybeams" | Plaid | Peel Session 2 | WARP
• "Endless Cycle" | Lou Reed | New York | Sire | "The Listening Parlour"
• "Passing of Time" | Moor Mother | Analog Fluids of Solid Black Holes | Don Giovanni
• "Abidjan Adja" | Antoinette Konan | Abidjan Adja | Awesome Tapes From Africa
• "Stars" | Kunds | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
• "A Brief Message" | Ryo Kawasaki & The Golden Dragon | Little Tree | Studio Mule
• "Don't Let Our Youth Go To Waste" | Galaxie 500 | Today [reissue] | 20|20|20

Everything will be alright, you are in my hands

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Welcome to a weird night, with lots of bizarre human traffic, on which Lady Catharsis and I sheltered in the Kenny Ritter Memorial Studio (RIP) and delivered what would turn out to be our final joint program prior to the lockdown.

Basic things kept going wrong because I was rude, during the previous program ("pa’bajo"), to a caller who wanted to be put straight through to the studio. I say "rude" because I declined the request, even though it was practically impossible to grant. This is the kind of thing my therapist keeps bugging me about, but that is another story.

I suppose that during a lot of these programs it is unfinished business and "misfit toys" time, which explains a lot of this playlist. Except for Rick James (RIP) I don't know why I'm playing a lot of what I'm playing. Bad energy: I would like to say the program crackles with it, but that would overstate the excitement factor.

"Maybe," I wrote at the time, "when I hear this program six months from now it will sound good." It does! Even though I underestimated the wait just a little bit.

Since this program was broadcast, 427 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 60 times. I have delivered 51 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. The good news is that I'm past the point of editing old sound files, because the editing happens before they ever go out on the air. Truly I have become a podcaster.

Our discussion of "the four corners of time" captures this perpetual dilemma, but as always I am determined to speed things up and post like a normal person.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 1, 2000-2200:

• "The Modern Day Saints" | The Orange Kyte | Carousel | Little Cloud
• "Bury It Deep" | Beat Hotel | Feel It | Occultation Recordings
• "Ii Ooy Aniga (Cry For Me)" | Iftin Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
• "Brokos" | Gyedu-Blay Ambolley | 11th Street, Sekondi | Agogo
• "You And I" | Rick James | Come Get It! | Gordy
• "Il ne faut pas intervenir (Martin Meissonnier reconstruction)" | Sankayi | Kinshasa 1978 | Crammed Discs
• "Void" | Algiers | Void | Matador
• "A Dr0ne" | NNYz? | Reveries | self-released
• "To Hell With Poverty" | Gang of Four | Another Day/Another Dollar | Warner Bros.
• "Nova" | Kimyan Law | Yonda | Blue Mar Ten
• "Remember Me" | The Durutti Column | Fidelity [reissue] | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
• "Rue des tempêtes" | The Young Gods | L'Eau Rouge / Red Water [reissue] | [PIAS] Le Label
• "144,000" | James Massiah | Natural Born Killers (Ride for Me) | Levels
• "Neo" | Leandro Fresco / Thore Pfeiffer | Pop Ambient 2020 | Kompakt
• "The Redemption Project" | Hieroglyphic Being | Synth Expressionism / Rhythmic Cubism | On the Corner
• "Heartbeat" | Chris and Cosey | Heartbeat [reissue] | Conspiracy International
• "Reflections" | Taelue | Reflections | Perpetual Rhythms
• "The Wedge" | The J.B.'s | More Mess On My Thing | Now-Again
• "Hidden Track" | Lloyd Meadows | Oxford Synthesizer Club | The Beautiful Music
• "The Myth Hold Weight" | Moor Mother | Analog Fluids of Solid Black Holes | Don Giovanni
• "Range of Motion" | Force Placement | Vibe Repair | 100% Silk

Proud of the way I've avoided prison

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Lockdown has entered day 367, and we are feeling great about it. I am trying out something new in the thirteenth month; I call it "proving to my listeners that I exist." If I can't provide you with recent evidence thereof, I can at least write a few sentences every couple of days and slap an old sound file on top of that. Were it not for my neurotic insistence on linearity, I could even show you what I've been up to lately. But isn't it marginally more interesting to find out, drip by drip, how we got here?

Anyway, we have an artsy-sounding beginning, and really, even looking back across this last year's wasteland of time this sounds a bit "like me" in light of today, at least early on. I even received kind words over the phone from "Mark" In Trumansburg during "Up Side Down!" We like compliments--more of this, please.

On the topic of sounding like myself, I stopped "en gammal Amazon" magically; how wonderful it would be if I had the power to do that with other phenomena. And whatever happened to Brian Harris, by the way? Subsequently I referred to something called the Celsus!!! And then, as always, conceptually things get weird somewhere between Crispy ambulance and the Black Watch. Probably a result of my trying to be ecumenical, if that is the right word. Those days are probably over.

I can’t get over how pinched and small "Volgarity." sounds. I guess it’s not 1992 anymore and we are no longer impressed. This feeling occurs to me often these days.

Since this program was broadcast, 416 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 59 times. I have delivered 49 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm trying to edit a sound file from 380 days ago--51 shows ago. Once again I am playing this silly, crazy-making game with the past.

I suspect things are going to carry on like this for a while, then get really bad, then good, then worse, then ok, and then we'll be caught up. Vague but probably accurate.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 January 29, 2100-2300:

1. "Arboreal Epitone" | Kimyan Law | Yonda | Blue Mar Ten
2. "Living In Denial" | Michael Kiwanuka | KIWANUKA | Polydor
3. "Halo" | MONO | Before The Past • Live From Electrical Audio | Temporary Residence Ltd.
4. "An Old Amazon​(​En Gammal Amazon​)​" | Brian Harris | Thylacine | self-released
5. "Upside Down" | Fela Anikulapo Kuti & The Africa 70 | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
6. "3:38" | The Pop Group | Y | Mute
7. "Daradaa Muxibo" | Dur-Dur Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
8. "Egypt" | Crispy Ambulance | The Plateau Phase + Live On A Hot August Night + Peel | Factory Benelux
9. "Transatlantic Part 1 & 2" | Jabber | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
10. "crying all the time!" | The Black Watch | Crying All The Time | A Turntable Friend
11. "Blacktea" | Lakey | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
12. "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" | The Ramones | All The Stuff (And More) - Vol. I | Sire
13. "Heptameth Rainbow" | Weldroid | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
14. "Sweetness of the New - Free the Robots Remix" | Gray | Shades of... Anthology | Ubiquity
15. "Gestalt Waves" | Leniad | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
16. "The Deep" | clipping. | The Deep | Sub Pop
17. "No Discrimination" | Tony Allen & His Afro Messengers | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
18. "Breath Mint" | Daniel T. | Heliotrope | Cascine
19. "Kawai K4" | Guy Contact | Liminal Space | Butter Sessions
20. "Astral Light" | Botany talk Home | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 5 - Amour pour la France | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
21. "Night Driving" | Throwing Muses | The Season Sessions: Winter | self-released | "The Listening Parlour"
22. "Tears from Pluto" | Kantakin | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
23. "Volgarity" | Steroid Maximus | Volume Four | Volume

Right now some are insane

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Welcome to day 363 of lockdown, but who's counting? I should probably explain where I am and what I have been doing, but I suspect it would bore you. It's probably the same places you've been and the same things you've been doing, and probably the same, mostly depressive, emotions as well.

Probably, what has been the biggest mental block to posting episodes is the knowledge that my methods have changed so drastically on account of the pandemic, and of course the last time I posted was prior to George Floyd's death (was it? certainly prior to our national awareness of it). Anyway, shit has changed and these episodes from "before" don't resonate with me. They sound like someone else's work--at least when I think about them in the abstract.

Hearing this program, though, and looking at my notes from the time, I am pleasantly surprised that it sounds something like my current conception of myself--and "the show" is "myself."

On this night I received some rare praise from DJ Duce, who suggested "Mke Wangu" from Agwaya by Orchestra Makassy. (I never did get to it, but I swear it is on my Discogs wishlist.) On the other side of the ledger, there are lots of forced segues and fuckups in Deejay Pro (here's hoping that when we go back to live broadcasting I never use that app again). For some reason I played "Body Beat" after "Dead on Arrival" but the Mdou Moctar segue into Throbbing Gristle was somewhat sublime.

Humorously enough, the Pop Group caused me to speculate on the impending end of civilization--specifically whether it will prevent them from issuing a "more definitive" version of Y in the future. It's possible.

Since this program was broadcast, 425 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 59 times. I have delivered 48 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm trying to edit a sound file from 375 days ago--fifty shows ago, shamefully enough.

Look, here is the thing about writing: in the most important episode of my life, I could not write my way out of trouble. The best thing I wrote, which you will never see, was not enough to save my life. It just isn't true that only love can break your heart.

But I'm going to do my best to bare all here, by and by. Maybe you'll hear from me again in ten months or so.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 January 15, 2100-2300:

1. "Blue's Blues" | Blue Mitchell | This Is Mainstream! | WEWANTSOUNDS
2. "Adhiambo" | ODD OKODDO | Auma | Pingipung
3. "This Is For You" | Theo Parrish with Maurissa Rose | This Is For You | Sound Signature
4. "Adoko Gwok" | Lady Grace Atim | Electro Acholi Kaboom from Northern Uganda | Nyege Nyege Tapes
5. "The Lost Buoys" / "Depth Charge Dixon" | Pandacetamol | Driftwood | Kahvi Collective
6. "Love You I" | Miss Ludella Black | Till You Lie In Your Grave | Damaged Goods
7. "She Is Beyond Good and Evil" | The Pop Group | Y | Mute
8. "Heelo" | Dur-Dur Band | Dur Dur of Somalia - Vol. 1, Vol. 2 | Analog Africa
9. "Olson (Version 3)" | Boards of Canada | Peel Session | WARP
10. "Fascination Street" | Static Daydream | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
11. "Sueños Perdidos" | Jonahlo | Spaced Out | Night Young
12. "Ciel Ouvert" | Yello | Stella | Mercury
13. "Chet Boghassa" | Mdou Moctar | Mdou Moctar: Blue Stage Session | Third Man
14. "Dead on Arrival" | Throbbing Gristle | Dancing In Darkness | PIAS
15. "Body Beat" | Bill Campbell | Body Beat: Soca-Dub and Electronic Calypso (1979-98) | Soundway
16. "Radiator (Original Mix)" | Aphex Twin | Peel Session 2 | WARP
17. "Disintegration" | Echodrone with The Silbeys | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
18. "Cuatro Proverbios" | Aziza Brahim | Sahari | Glitterbeat
19. "Charmed" | The Room in the Wood | Charmed | A Turntable Friend
20. "Peace on Earth - Mr Scott Remix" | Ebo Taylor | Disco Highlife Reedit Series Vol. 2 | Comet
21. "The Seven Secret Sayings of God" | Susumu Yokota | Cloud Hidden | Lo Recordings
22. "Unpossible" | Eggnogagogo | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective

Talk about dealing in the past

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Welcome to day 67 of lockdown. I am happy to present you with a recording of a broadcast that happened with Lady Catharsis at my side. This sort of thing can't happen right now. It is good to be reminded of the world we are fighting to preserve. If this seems like a petty and trivial example of such a world, I don't apologize.

I have a lot of notes about this program, so strap in. The American Music Club segue had no business sounding good, but it did. Now, onto the bad and weird things: I'm pretty sure I say we're going uptempo only to say later that we went downtempo. Who is to say what tempo is? I am pretty sure I identified the JBs album as being released by Get On Down and I am almost certainly wrong. I say nothing when Lady Catharsis says to me, "you're the clever one." Probably a lot to unpack there! I sound exasperated with myself about four minutes into the program, which is not a good sign. "It's hot in the city tonight," Lady Catharsis says. What can it mean?

Showing up as myself (my therapist would be proud): shout out to Wally of The Beautiful Music, who shared the THE SOUND YOUR DREAMS MAKE comp with me. He is truly one of the Good People of music Twitter. I hold back from delivering a rant about the Coil reissue, "Stolen and Contaminated Songs." But (maybe this is not my best self showing up at the moment) I have to say I don't know who's pocketing the profits from this one and the label that released it is almost certainly releasing music by outright fascists. So There. I do pop off at Chris and Cosey and it pains me to say that they deserve it. Their fall 2019 reissues cost me $28 apiece, the records skip, and they insist that I pay an additional £8.99 if I want a version I can listen to on my phone. I don't think this is right and I'm not backing down. Moving on: the Dennis Green story sort of comes out of nowhere, but it illustrates the trade-offs and choices that brought me here, I guess.

Since this program was broadcast, 134 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 21 times. I have delivered ten pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm supposed to be editing a sound file from 88 days ago--fourteen shows ago, supposably. There is some mental block preventing me from completing that work.

Anyway, one day I'm sure we'll do this again, and better (one can hope).

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 January 11, 2000-2200:

1. "Oh What a Saturday Night" | Errol Strength | Take Us Home - Boston Roots Reggae: 1979 to 1988 | Cultures of Soul
2. "Joka Awuor" | ODD OKODDO | Auma | Pingipung
3. "Am I Just A Dub" | Lizard Brain | THE SOUND YOUR DREAMS MAKE | EVERLASTING
4. "Light Shining Darkly" | Coil | Stolen & Contaminated Songs | Cold Spring
5. "Arcade" | Chris & Cosey | Exotika [reissue] | Conspiracy International
6. "Bad Television" | Smoothy | THE SOUND YOUR DREAMS MAKE | EVERLASTING
7. "The Controversial Control" | Jay Glass Dubs | Nyx EP | Berceuse Heroique
8. "My Only Love" | The Durutti Column | Fidelity [reissue] | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
9. "Animation (Martin Meissonnier reconstruction)" | Orchestre Bana Luya | Kinshasa 1978 | Crammed Discs
10. "Blue TV Screen" | Cody Currie & Joel Holmes | New Chapter | Toy Tonics
11. "Harp at Noon" | Pandacetamol | Driftwood | Kahvi Collective
12. "The Thorn In My Side Is Gone" | American Music Club | San Francisco | Reprise
13. "Waiting In The Rain" | Kendra Smith | Presents the Guild of Temporal Adventurers | Fiasco
14. "Look Know (John Peel Session 15/9/81)" | The Fall | Hex Enduction Hour [reissue] | Cherry Red
15. "When You Feel It, Grunt If You Can (Complete Take)" | The J.B.'s | More Mess On My Thing | Now-Again

Born on a ray of sound

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As I write it's day 66 of lockdown--I think. It's getting tougher to count, but at the moment I'm counting March 19 as Day 1 for me, since that's the first day Lady Catharsis and I were ordered to "work from home." You could argue that things started to get weird, rapidly, about 10 days prior to that, but memories of Before are a bit cloudy. I have only written notes to help me recall what this innocent program sounded and felt like.

"I played a lot of beautiful music on this show without necessarily trying to," I wrote. It feels good to read that, and sad at the same time. Maybe in January I was finding more and more confidence. It's gone now. Looking at the playlist I think I was right in the moment.

Caveats: I'm pretty sure I burped in the first voice-over of the evening. The Iftin Band segues didn't sound good on either end. I have not done right by Space Dingus, as well as they slotted into this program. Their album was good and I just didn't get to it. Does lateness mean anything anymore? Maybe there is still hope for me there. There was some post-production magic that I executed between One-Eyed Wayne and Jay Glass Dubs. And it still sounds bad! The sequence ending with James Clarke Five is "weird," apparently, and it's a "good thing the show was flawless after that."

Since this program was broadcast, 136 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 22 times. I have delivered ten pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm supposed to be editing a sound file from 88 days ago--fourteen shows ago, I guess? I promised myself I would chronicle my tardiness and I am past embarrassment at this point. If these numbers mean anything to you, you're welcome.

Thanks for making it this far, thanks for your patience, and as always thank you for listening.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 January 8, 2100-2300:

1. "Sanctuary" | Fushara | The Mystics | Transmute
2. "Pétaloïde" | Dosage | Theory of Pink | Les Disques Du Festival Permanent
3. "Anthropocene" | Wrangler | Anthropocene | Bella Union
4. "U" | Yoshinori Hayashi | Y | Smalltown Supersound
5. "Sirmaqabe - No Secrets" | Iftin Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
6. "Makoma" | Onipa | Onipa / Makoma | Strut
7. "Rat Laughter" | Space Dingus | Space Dingus | Subjangle
8. "The Jean Genie" | David Bowie | The Singles Collection | EMI
9. "Dreaming" | Maria Somerville | All My People | No Label
10. "A New Chapter" | Cody Currie & Joel Holmes | New Chapter | Toy Tonics
11. "Moon Shining Bright" | Pieter Nooten | Se Dire Au Revoir | Rocket Girl
12. "L'Heure" | Luminance | Ahead | Medical
13. "Repeater" | Moor Mother | Analog Fluids of Solid Black Holes | Don Giovanni
14. "You Gave Me a Name - Radio Edit" | The Young Gods | You Gave Me a Name | Two Gentlemen
15. "Animation Kifuti (Martin Meissonnier reconstruction)" | Orchestre Bambala | Kinshasa 1978 | Crammed Discs
16. "To The Limit" | LFO | Peel Session | WARP
17. "Diversa" | Toada | Cambiante | pluma
18. "BLK Musak" | Mourning [A] BLKstar | BLK Musak | Don Giovanni
19. "Woma Gara" | Mamadou Kelly | Les Bateaux | Claremont
20. "YoYo" | One Eyed Wayne | Saucy Postcards Super Creeps | Optic Nerve
21. "Laid Down (feat. Yorgia Karidi)" | Jay Glass Dubs | Epitaph | Bokeh Versions
22. "Theme from 'The Main Chance'" | James Clarke Five | Parloursounds [reissue] | The Beautiful Music
23. "Cromo 4" | Yui Onodera | Pop Ambient 2020 | Kompakt
24. "Night Dive" | Space Ghost | Aquarium Nightclub | Tartelet
25. "I Know - Tewz Remix" | Gray | Shades of... Anthology | Ubiquity
26. "Lifeforce Part I" / "Lifeforce Part II" | The Comet Is Coming | Afterlife | Impulse
27. "Brenda" | Leandro Fresco | Pop Ambient 2020 | Kompakt
28. "Deolta" | SJ Tequilla | Sanya | Craigie Knowes

Nowadays everything can be denied

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I don't even know where to begin. It's day 38 of lockdown--I mean, let's say that, why not. Who can tell anymore? The president just told us to inject bleach into ourselves. Figured I might post some content before the disinfectant regime becomes mandatory.

This is a program from a different time. Regular subscribers probably roll their eyes when I talk about "universes ending" and stuff like that. What do we think about this now? Not so dumb anymore, is it? WELCOME TO MY WORLD BITCHES.

Anyway, this is a good program done in the old style--that is, with me sitting in the studio and pressing "play" when it was time to hear a new song, and so forth. I'm sure part of me has been holding onto these last archaic transmissions, because who knows if there will be another of their kind? It does mess with me that I screwed up Vance & Suzzanne because otherwise this is pretty flawless--check out the transition from Grandmaster Flash to Zonal, just as an example.

Because this is also about baring my soul, I've got to get something about "Davis Homeboy DJ Shadow" off my chest. It's true that we grew up in the same town. At one point in my troubled youth I was a buyer/clerk at our record store and I was one of those archetypal record store assholes. At this point in my life I had a lot of anger though I don't know about what. I'm still dealing with it! Anyway one day these two guys came up to the counter & wanted to talk to me about something--but in their exuberance (or whatever) they knocked something off the counter, and I was like, "pick that up" before I would even engage them. They got mad and left, as they should have. NOW. I have absolutely no reason to believe this is the case but I have somehow retconned (or gaslit? i don't know) myself into thinking one of those guys was Josh Davis. Again, NO REASON TO THINK THIS but this is what I do to myself.

Anyway, now that I don't have a gym to go to I try to get out of the house every day and walk around "in nature" and this is the kind of stuff I do, replaying my life's most embarrassing episodes inside my head. Apologies to Shadow & friend or whoever the fuck those guys were. I'd like to tell you I'm a changed person but at least I'm working on it.

Since this program was broadcast, 114 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 13 times. I have delivered six pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. I'm supposed to be editing a sound file from 58 days ago--ten shows ago, I guess? I'm not sure any of this matters, but I am forcing myself to go through the motions, working the "mattering" into being, I guess, maybe. To think I once joked about quarantine giving me time to get caught up!

Anyway, looking back, I'm more convinced than ever that 2019 was indeed a good year. But let's enjoy the innocence of early 2020 while we can, however we can.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 January 1, 2100-2300:

1. "A Bleak Moment" | Taelue | Reflections | Perpetual Rhythms
2. "Super Rappin' No 1" | Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five | Back In The Day (Old School Hip Hop From The Block Party Era) | BGP
3. "Debris" | Zonal | Wrecked | Relapse
4. "Terminal Manouevre" | XVARR | Echoes of Time | Good Morning Tapes
5. "Drips" | Flying Lotus | Presents INFINITY Infinitum Maida Vale Session | WARP
6. "Midnight In A Perfect World" | DJ Shadow | Endtroducing... | Mo Wax - FFRR
7. "Cretu" | Ummagma | Compass | Leonard Skully
8. "Exotika" | Chris & Cosey | Exotika | Conspiracy International
9. "Patina" | Avtvmna | Summer Estate | Kahvi Collective
10. "A Different View" | brim liski | Duels | Latenight Weeknight
11. "Spanish Town Road Dub" | Scientist | The Scientist in the Kingdom of Dub | Superior Viaduct
12. "I Can't Get Along Without You" | Vance and Suzzanne | I Can't Get Along Without You | Kalita
13. "Corsage" | Dosage | Theory of Pink | Les Disques Du Festival Permanent
14. "The Seven Planetary Heavens" | The Comet Is Coming | The Afterlife | Impulse
15. "Mythologies" | ØxØ | Mythologies | Truant
16. "Sálvame" | Mequetrefe | Come On Feel The NoiZe, Vol. 4 - La Furia | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
17. "It's You" | Big Joanie | Sistahs | Daydream Library Series
18. "Shop Lifting" | The Slits | The Peel Sessions | Dutch East India Trading / Strange Fruit
19. "Scarred for Life" | Medicine | Scarred for Life | Drawing Room Records
20. "Tchiokoroba" | Mamadou Kelly | Les Bateaux | Claremont
21. "Chateau Rouge" | Bantou Mentale | Bantou Mentale | Glitterbeat
22. "Magik" | Lee "Scratch" Perry | Magik | Stones Throw
23. "Liminality" | Kid Koala | Music To Draw To: Io | Zenerino
24. "Yogi Yamahssar" | Tapan Meets Generation Taragalte | Atlas | Soundway
25. "Dinosaur Girl" | Brix & The Extricated | Dinosaur Girl | Grit Over Glamour
26. "Kel Tinariwen" | Tinariwen | Amadjar | Wedge
27. "Bolinas" | Meat Beat Manifesto | Opaque Couche | Flexidisc

using the ladder they call success

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Apologies are in order. There's a slowness to my cadence when I call this "the final live program" that can trick you into thinking those words are followed by a period. Sure enough, though, "...of 2019" follows, just to dash your hopes. I'm still here. On this night, Lady Catharsis is here as well, to shake things up, argue with me about rideshare services, sing backup to Wanda Jackson, and open the door to my abandonment of the "no repetition" policy so I can play "Kerosene" to honor the spirit and chops of Dave Riley.

I am vulnerable to nostalgia at all times, but December is the worst. In 2019 I had succeeded in not walking around in the snow listening to Cocteau Twins, probably because I no longer walk around in any weather listening to anything. More encouraging: I managed to have a 4AD-free Christmas. But events conspired to pull me back in. Vaughan Oliver died, and I surprised myself by feeling things about that. So Lady Catharsis and I, and our listeners, got to work through them. Together.

Previewing all of my on-air comments here would be stupid in more than one way. You'll just have to listen and find out. But it would be fair to say I'm less than 100% positive about the 4AD back catalogue. Look, I am a recovering addict and I don't know what you want from me. If there's any such thing as periodization of 4AD fandom, I am definitely a Lonely Is an Eyesore kid. And I expect things to stay awesome all the time. They can't, they don't, and somehow it saddens me. Truly I have bigger problems in this life but you wouldn't think so. Anyway, to reach back even further, "Marble Station" is absolutely majestic and would have justified getting hooked on this stuff, had it been what hooked me.

w/r/t Vaughan Oliver my hipsterism is so cringe that, I have to say, I'm a "23 Envelope person" and not "a v23 person." Did you know there were such people? Of course not because there aren't, it's only me as far as I know. Feeling something after Vaughan Oliver's death surprised me because I have opinions, you see. Nigel Grierson's work is special. His photographs made those sleeves. Read Facing the Other Way and tell me the story about the Nantes exhibit and the end of that friendship isn't the saddest thing in the book. But I am a person of Sentiment, and death is the biggest corrective, next to correction.

Since this program was broadcast, 70 days ago now, I've gone on the air 13 times. I'm editing a sound file from 13 days ago--four shows ago. How is this possible? It's not getting better any time soon, unless the coronavirus puts us all in quarantine and gives me time to churn through the backlog.

Program notes: I notice that these shows are a lot more dynamic, literally, when Lady Catharsis is the guest. She and her records are all over the place. You can see it in the waveforms. Or you could, if you were some weirdo who downloaded the audio files and imported them into a sound editing program. ANYWAY the point I am making is really about me and my normalization of everything. Not only does my voice sound like I have a built-in compressor, my taste in music is just kind of "smooth" and "regular." You can see this too. It's a kind of aesthetic fascism, and unironically I think Vaughan Oliver is partly to blame for that!

Anyway towards the end of the show it sounds like an old KDVS program with friends, which is not a bad place to wind up.

By the way, Colourbox [or "Colour Box"] record was from 1983, not 1993. I was never confused about this. I just can't talk properly.

A final correction: the 63 transmissions we broadcast in 2019 did not make it the "quietest year" in the history of the program or whatever I called it. There were two years when I did fewer shows, including a year in which I did only 52, like a regular person. I don't know what to make of having forgotten that, but I don't like it. Circling back to the first program I did in 2019 though, I sounded so dead inside, bored with what I was doing and completely devoid of affect. I don't think I sound that way anymore. Maybe it was a good year.

BOMBAST playlist, 2019 December 31, 2100-2300:

1. "What Is It?" | The Mighty Strinth | The Rebirth of Cool Seven | Island
2. "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" | Ella Fitzgerald | Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas | Verve
3. "New Year" | Big Joanie | Sistahs | Daydream Library Series
4. "It's Getting Late" | Galaxie 500 | Today [reissue] | 20|20|20
5. "(There Ought To Be) A Moonlight Savings Time" | Bob Richardson & His Orchestra | The Pig's Big 78s - A Beginner's Guide | Trikont
6. "The New Fidelity" | The Durutti Column | Fidelity [reissue] | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
7. "Re:Action" | Spirea X | Speed Reaction | 4AD
8. "Rip It Up" | Wanda Jackson | Two Sides of Wanda | Capitol
9. "Kerosene" | Big Black | Atomizer | Touch & Go
10. "Marble Station" | Sort Sol | Natures Mortes - Still Lives | 4AD
11. "Altitude" | System 7 | System 7 | 10
12. "Shout" | Afriqua | Colored | R & S
13. "Slo Bird Whistle" | Aphex Twin | Peel Session 2 | WARP
14. "Find My Way" | Ultramarine | This Time Last Year | Real Soon
15. "Breakdown" | Colourbox | Colourbox [MAD 315 CD] | 4AD
16. "More Mess On My Thing" | The J.B.'s | More Mess On My Thing | Now-Again
17. "Marquis Cha Cha" | The Fall | Room To Live [reissue] | Cherry Red
18. "Burn The Bastards" | The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu | Shag Times | KLF Communications

never anything to do in this town

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Doing a program on Christmas Eve (or at least December 24, if not technically the "eve") was really important to me when I was young, even though I would almost never play Christmas music. I always seemed to have a work shift on the 24th anyway (it's still that way and the world is becoming more Dickensian all the time)--so why not have a "fun" shift as well, I guess I must have thought. Also, especially early on at KDVS, I was only cleared to be on the air at certain times of the day, but this restriction would often not apply to term breaks and fill-in appearances. So, let's say, in my first year on the air, I probably would been authorized to spin records between midnight and 9 a.m., but I could at least have an afternoon program on the 24th of December, so that felt like liberation and "prime time." No one was listening, most likely, but what good would it have done to spurn the chance? Finally, and this is kind of sad, I think maybe doing radio on this day was a way of compensating for being separated from my friends at holiday time. Maybe this is still a thing, year-round, in the present.

So you know I'm not kidding when I say I'm excited to finally have the chance. It's been fun to do all those Festivus programs on the 23rd of December, but it's not the same. It's also true that I have developed these weird associations between the holiday and music that really has nothing to do with it. It could be music that I bought for myself in December (pouring one out for Green Noise Records, situated in Eugene, Oregon, sometime in the mid-90s, where I heard the Oval cd that serves as tonight's tinkly interstitial music--if only I had gotten the name of the album right! But, you know what, there are a lot of album titles to remember, and I'm old, so every new one I have to learn pushes another one out of my brain), music that someone else bought for me, something I heard while looking at xmas lights and just sounded right in the moment, etc. Lady Catharsis, my companion on this holy night, sort of understands, or pretends to. She's a good sport!

Since this program was broadcast, 70 days ago now, I've gone on the air 12 times. I'm editing a sound file from 13 days ago--three shows ago. I'm falling behind once again, and making the same mistake I always make, which is to jump at the chance of more airtime.

Program notes: was Bandwagonesque actually a December release? No! Surely November 19 is close enough, though, and there's no way it could have made it over here on a boat that quickly. This program is full of crazy jazz dynamics, and I blame this on the actual vintage holiday music that we try to play. Those Jimmy McGriff drums are LOUD. Take that, Steve Albini! At one point I refer to myself as an "it," which I just may be for all anyone knows. I manage to biff two James Brown songs and get mad--the self-hatred doesn't take a vacation, not even for Christmas. There's an honest-to-goodness rock block in the second hour that ends, inexplicably, with some cheesy tunes from a seasonal King record that even more inexplicably doesn't include James Brown. Finally, because there has to be an agenda, we end the evening with a junk-sick tale from William S. Burroughs that, on reflection, I'm not sure kids should have heard. Anyway, to all a good night, filled with vegetable serenity!

BOMBAST playlist, 2019 December 24, 2100-2300:

1. "Holiday On The Moon" | Love & Rockets | Express | Big Time - RCA
2. "Christmas Time Is Here (Uh Oh)" | Telekinesis | You Wish (A Merge Records Holiday Album) | Merge
3. "Santa's Little Sleigh Bells" | Ruby Wright | Merry Christmas From King Records | King / Sundazed
4. "Is This Music?" | Teenage Fanclub | Bandwagonesque | DGC
5. "City of Christmas Ghosts" | Goldblade Featuring Poly Styrene | City Of Christmas Ghosts | Damaged Goods
6. "Christmas Island" | Depeche Mode | A Question of Lust | Mute
7. "Violets for Your Furs (Today I Bought You Violets)" | The Continental (Renzo Cesana) | Christmas Cocktails | Capitol
8. "Winter Circle" | Ultramarine | Ghosts Of Christmas Past (Remake) | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
9. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" | Jimmy McGriff | Christmas Cocktails Part Two | Capitol
10. "Chicken King & The Prince of Dreams" | Legendary Pink Dots | Legendary Pink Dots' Christmas Special 2019 | self-released
11. "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" | Ella Fitzgerald | Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas | Verve
12. "Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto" / "Merry Christmas Baby" | James Brown | Funky Christmas | Polydor
13. "Won't Be Alone Tonight" | Mike Krol | You Wish (A Merge Records Holiday Album) | Merge
14. "Fast and Loose" | Motörhead | BBC Live & In-Session | Sanctuary
15. "Merry Christmas Fritz" | The Buff Medways | Merry Christmas Fritz c/w Stille Nacht | Damaged Goods
16. "No Gifts for Nazis" | Alice Bag | No Gifts for Nazis | Get Better
17. "Christmas Questions" | Joe Ward | Merry Christmas From King Records | King / Sundazed
18. "Lasst uns froh und munter sein Dub" | Dub Spencer & Trance Hill | Christmas in Dub | Echo Beach
19. "Twinkle Twinkle Christmas Star" | Lillian Brooks | Merry Christmas From King Records | King / Sundazed
20. "The Junky's Christmas" | William S. Burroughs | Spare Ass Annie And Other Tales | Island Red Label

ecstatically happy until the end of time

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You'll be relieved to hear that this time out I have no nightmares to share. I will not try to squeeze a life trauma into a radio-shaped narrative. Even I was worn out by that last post. Showing up is work! But fortunately for both of us, the number 501 doesn't seem to mean anything, so this is just a regular mixtape meant not to make anyone think hard about anything.

Since this program was broadcast, 68 days ago now, I've gone on the air 11 times. I'm editing a sound file from 23 days ago--four shows ago. The good news is that two of my temporal planes of existence have collapsed into one, so maybe I get to talk less about my exercise compulsion. The bad news is that my hard work never did pay off--"None of you look like you spend much time at the gym," Joseph the Engineer said at a station meeting the other night. The context of this remark doesn't matter. Do I deserve anything different? Probably not.

I think I said a couple of posts ago that radio only matters in this part of the calendar. This program doesn't provide much evidence of that but it does hold together as a bag of good tunes. Look, sometimes we can't even expect that much from me. Some transitions were better than they had any business being, and I felt good about it in the moment. If you don't think that counts for something, do you even know me?

BOMBAST playlist, 2019 December 18, 2100-2300:

1. "Sight From Above" | Steffi X Virginia | Work A Change | Ostgut Ton
2. "Maybe There's A Rainbow" | Ekiti Sound | Abeg No Vex | Crammed Discs
3. "Up and Down" | Tombstones in Their Eyes | Maybe Someday (LP) | Somewherecold
4. "Underdog" | The Dirtbombs | Ultraglide In Black | In The Red
5. "Bad Choices" | Superchunk | What a Time to Be Alive | Merge
6. "FATAL" | DEBBY FRIDAY | DEATH DRIVE | Deathbomb Arc
7. "Temptations" | Jitwam | Honeycomb | Tartelet
8. "Emotional Yoga" | S.U.V. | Our Complex Pleasures | Otomatik Musiek
9. "Dream Date" | Lunch Lady | Angel | Upset the Rhythm
10. "No Love To Give" | Fabienne DelSol | Four | Damaged Goods
11. "Aa Egypto" | Inoyama Land | Commissions: 1977-2000 | Empire of Signs
12. "Baby You're a Rich Man" | Brian | Bognor! | self-released
13. "Flim" | African Head Charge | Pay It All Back Vol. 7 | On-U Sound
14. "Kolo Wece" | Tabu Buzy Body | Electro Acholi Kaboom from Northern Uganda | Nyege Nyege Tapes
15. "Neverfriend (demo)" | dayflower | petal drops | self-released
16. "Gang Deyo" | Opiyo Twongweno | Electro Acholi Kaboom from Northern Uganda | Nyege Nyege Tapes
17. "Stop The Coup (pfeffel mix)" | Cabinet of Millionaires vs Zion Train | Stop The Coup | Chocolate Fireguard
18. "Bandera Pa Kaka" | Bosmic Otim | Electro Acholi Kaboom from Northern Uganda | Nyege Nyege Tapes
19. "These Memories" | Almeta Lattimore | This Is Mainstream! | WEWANTSOUNDS
20. "10 Commandments" | The Specials | Encore | Island
21. "Olores" | Jaxe | Seekings EP | Dom Trojga
22. "Cooper's Dream" | Elmono | Cooper's Dream EP | Tectonic
23. "Dance Damage" | Algebra Mothers | A-Moms = Algebra Mothers | Third Man
24. "I Feel Light" | A Certain Ratio | Mind Made Up | Mute
25. "Sabbath" | Evi Vine | Black // Light // White // Dark | Solemn Wave
26. "Dirty Games" | Saine & Smith | Dirty Games | 2MR
27. "Have Mercy" | Loretta Lynn | Van Lear Rose | Interscope | "The Listening Parlour"
28. "Lies" | Lara Americo | Hugs for Chelsea: benefit for Chelsea Manning | not on label
29. "Robocop" | Haider | 10961 | Aus
30. "Velvet" | Angel's Breath | Outro Tempo II | Music From Memory
31. "Aquarius (Version 3)" | Boards of Canada | Peel Session | WARP

disturbing the comfortable, comforting the disturbed

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Last night I had another teaching dream. I was in a large, run-down auditorium, lecturing as I once did to a few hundred people who would rather be somewhere else. (I keep having to remind myself this never had much to do with me.) It was a familiar lecture that I actually used to deliver in real life, one that I was good at and refined constantly. But my heart was not in it and I (or the material) was losing people. At some point I decreed a bathroom break; to my surprise it seemed that the auditorium was located in some city centre, next to a bunch of retail spaces. Most of my "audience" trailed off to various stores instead of returning to class, and frankly I think I chose this option too. The dream dissolved as usual into incoherence and I woke up, not wanting to sleep anymore.

This keeps happening, probably because I keep not learning from it. But I already know that I failed at being emotionally and spiritually present in my previous life. Did I always understand this? Funny story...

My academic misadventure is pretty neatly positioned between my two stints as a disc jockey. In January 1993 I did my last KDVS program five days before leaving for graduate school; the Bombast program launched about 16 months after I vacated my last faculty office. It's weird to demarcate things this way, but where is the lie?

Anyway, at the beginning of my MA program I needed some funds to float me for about a month or so before my graduate assistantship checks started rolling in--to cover niceties like rent, food, and so on. I had nothing worth selling except for records and CDs. It's wild to think about what was possible at that time, and what we valued. You can't make any money doing this today, no matter what Discogs tries telling you, but it absolutely worked for me at this time. AND, five months later, when my apartment was broken into, the thieves took my CDs and left my computer. If you were somehow transported back to that world, you would not recognize it.

So Lady Catharsis (yes, even then she was with me) drove me down to Amoeba in Berkeley and watched me unload about 1/3 of my collection. This wasn't one of those occasional prunings you do, just to make a little room, or because you've moved past certain things. You wouldn't believe the stuff I had to jettison. It felt like cutting off a limb. They'll tell you that commodity fetishism is a poor substitute for having a personality, and "they" are right. But I do have a personality, and this happened to hurt a lot. Sacrifices Had To Be Made, and I Needed To Grow Up. Sometimes I try to bargain with memory and imagine that maybe it was other people who told me these things, but I'm almost positive it was me saying them to myself. Anyway, in the moment you couldn't consider it anything but sensible, so onward and upward I went.

In times of acute stress and despair, during the ensuing years of being variously (and sometimes simultaneously) marginalized, stalked, overlooked, surveilled, bullied, swindled, targeted, and finally discarded, all while incurring tremendous debt and distancing myself geographically and emotionally from loved ones, I would think back to the Faustian bargain that made it all possible.

What if I had just said No, and kept my records?

How much worse would that have been? Is that a silly thing to wonder?

This is probably more than you want from a community radio podcast, sorry.

But when I speak grandly about the show's mission it's as real as it is selfish and mundane and ridiculous. I'm trying to close a circle and conjure a ghost--a lost child, maybe. If it's funny that I think of this as a self-healing ritual then at least I have brought you momentary amusement. That's something. It's amazing (even if behind the scenes I have fucking earned it and then some) that WRFI has let me do this for one thousand hours. Maybe one day I will even have spent as much time in the Kenny Ritter Memorial Studio as I spent standing in front of a resentful audience talking about things that don't matter to anyone.

Trying to rationalize what I did in this 500th ritual, I guess I would say I was a bit more overt about it than I am most of the time. Lady Catharsis told me to be my usual awesome self, and I have to say I was! It was not exactly a smooth blend of present and past, but somehow, magically, it worked.

Cabaret Voltaire actually has a song called "Invocation," but did you know that for me "Bad Self" truly invokes something? I have always loved it more than is healthy but the word "mercenary" has taken on special meaning in my postgrad life. Because I need to have some secrets I will just say that it has worked a kind of magic in my world. So this tune is a kind of theme song now for me, the guy who has no money and is letting you download his mixtapes with no strings attached.

Looking back at my other milestone programs, I don't think they were that remarkable or successful. Transmission 100 was all but a secret, executed late at night (I'm too old for that now!) and without planning or fanfare. I don't feel like hiding my light anymore as I must have felt back then. I tried to fold an acknowledgement of "200" into the usual business of that program, but you can always tell when a thing is forced. Episode 300, looking back, was a kind of Oedipal moment--the patricidal kind, not the incestuous kind--that had to be happening in a downward spiral. At the moment I'm not interested in hearing it again. The 400th show was a disaster--another magic word!--but it is one of many lessons I am learning these days about boundaries. However, this one, right here, makes me proud. It even made me proud in the moment!

But I must continue to own my negligence. Since this program was broadcast, 71 days ago now, I've gone on the air 12 times. At the gym (always the fucking gym) I am listening back to a transmission from 39 days ago. I've just finished editing a sound file from 22 days ago--5 shows ago. Running through the archive, I note that I have spent an awful lot of time being two months behind here. Maybe I should just embrace that.

I know that you people don't read, but for just a moment longer I'm going to pretend that you do, and mention that a few posts ago I promised some statistics. But I've decided to spare you because if you've made it this far you've been through enough. Look, sometimes I flake out and sometimes even I get bored with me. Isn't it time for a bathroom break, or some shopping, or something? Anything?

Sweet dreams.

BOMBAST playlist, 2019 December 11, 2100-2300:

1. "Party at Ground Zero" | Fishbone | Fishbone | Columbia
2. "The Revolution Will Be Televised" | Tupelo Chain Sex | Spot the Difference | Selma
3. "Menebo Nden" | Moussa Doumbia | Sound d'Afrique II - Soukous | Mango
4. "Ooze" | 23 Skidoo | The Gospel Comes to New Guinea | Ronin
5. "No Age Dub" | Lee "Scratch" Perry | Life of the Plants | Stones Throw
6. "Tea Leaf Dancers" | Flying Lotus | Presents INFINITY Infinitum Maida Vale Session | WARP
7. "Metal Banshee (Mad Professor Mix One)" | Massive Attack | Massive Attack V Mad Professor Part II (Mezzanine Remix Tapes '98) | UMC / Virgin
8. "Confession" | Chris & Cosey | Exotika [reissue] | Conspiracy International
9. "For Suzanne" | The Durutti Column | Fidelity [reissue] | Les Disques Du Crépuscule
10. "Stop the Coup (Mikk Stupp - Rocked out Miami Remix)" | Cabinet of Millionaires vs Zion Train | Stop The Coup | Chocolate Fireguard
11. "Privatise the Air" / "Privatise the Air Pt. 2" | Gary Clail & On-U Sound System | End of the Century Party | On-U Sound
12. "Motivation" | The London Underground | Current Affairs Session | On-U Sound
13. "Bad Self (Part One)" | Cabaret Voltaire | James Brown | Virgin / Some Bizarre
14. "Space Dookie / At Last" | Afriqua | Colored | R & S
15. "The Tides" | Jeff Mills | Moon (The Area of Influence) | Axis
16. "March of the Rising Sun" | The Comet Is Coming | Death to the Planet | Leaf
17. "Hum Along And Dance" | The Jackson 5ive | Get It Together | Motown

motivated by hype and avarice

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