Mandy Lehto: Recent Episodes
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How your body reacts to kindness, and how it boosts creativity & self-compassionYou may have heard about the health benefits of being kind. Not only can it lower blood pressure, and boost immunity. It can also positively alter your relationship with yourself, which piqued my interest for those of us who’ve spent decades driving ourselves relentlessly. Is kindfulness a solution to feelings of not-enoughness?
Dr David Hamilton is a speaker, columnist, and author of twelve books, including his most recent, The Joy of Actually Giving a F*ck. He’s delivered kindness sessions for Google, Bank of England, the NHS, and many others.
In this episode, David and I discuss “kind genes”, how mindfulness doesn’t help everyone to be kinder, and rethinking what success can feel like. David also gives us a kindness challenge, which I’ve been taking. Hear some of the things I’ve been trying.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Dr David Hamilton (includes his new book)
Episode 66 of Enough, the Podcast (on kindness)
Alexandra Franzen’s list of 50 ways to be ridiculously generous
Grief, rage and self-reinvention when a relationship ends. Writing as a technology of healingI’m in conversation with Jessica Waite, best-selling author of The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards. Sean, Jessica’s husband of 17 years, died unexpectedly, and after his funeral, when some of his personal effects were returned, she started piecing together parts of his secret life. In this conversation we talk about how you put your life back together after a romantic relationship ends. What if it’s complicated by grief, shock, and infidelity? Jessica talks about the importance of feeling her feelings – including questioning her enoughness, and an act of revenge. We discuss the use of writing as a technology of healing. You’ll also hear how she’s navigating being thrust onto the world stage with her vulnerable story, and how she’s grounding herself. Compelling, thought-provoking, and insightful. Join us!
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Jessica Waite’s website
Jessica Waite’s book
Jessica Waite on Instagram
Mark Silverman’s episode (he discusses “Morning Pages”)
Rosie Nixon’s episode (where she talks about life-changing lists)
Full episode of Janette Manrara from Strictly Come Dancing
Welcome to the first ever Coaching Corner episode of Enough, the Podcast. These conversations are shorter and focus on a particular challenge. I hope you find them practical and immediately actionable. Coaching Corner episodes will be interspersed between the usual ones, just to spice things up. This week, the work dilemma is around being interrupted – what can you do when that happens? My guest is fellow coach, Alina Addison, author of The Audacity Spectrum: Leading with Care, Courage and Non-Conformity. We offer up some ideas you can try in those challenging conversations.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Alina Addison’s book: The Audacity Spectrum
Alina on LinkedIn
Alina on Instagram
Mandy on LinkedIn
Mandy on Instagram
Have you ever wondered if people in the public eye feel bouts of not-enoughness? And if so, how they handle it?
Janette Manrara is a former pro dancer on Strictly Come Dancing, a television show watched by 12-18 million people each week. Janette now hosts the TV programme, It Takes Two, and recently published Tiny Dancer, Big World: How to find fulfilment from the inside out.
In this conversation, Janette and I discuss her unusual entry into professional dance (her “wiggly career”), her moments of not-enoughness resulting from the rejections along the way, and how she finally learned to relate to moments of imposter syndrome and self-doubt (because – spoiler alert – they never go away). There’s a secret insight from Janette in the Outro, so listen to the very end.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Janette Manrara’s book
Janette on Instagram
Mandy Lehto on Instagram
IG video of Lenny Kravitz discussing his moments of self-doubt
Poet Alix Klingenberg on IG
Episode 64 on Imposter Syndrome
Best-selling author, psychologist, and Yale lecturer, on how to be SovereignIn this conversation, Emma and I dig into what’s keeping us “bound”, overwhelmed, and feeling not-enough. We touch on the types of happiness (Emma’s been researching happiness for 20 years) and why a contemplative practice is the foundation of having a more life-affirming relationship with yourself. You’ll hear about how people get “committed to burnout,” and how to break out of what Emma calls the “Matrix” that’s keeping you stuck and exhausted. There’s also a cameo from Dr Anna Lembke, best-selling author of Dopamine Nation, and Stanford professor. Emma and I get into the programs that are running our behaviours and thoughts – including one scenario where a salesperson insulted me, and I opened my wallet, fully aware of what I was doing (and I did it anyway!). Emma, why do we do this? Emma’s practical, evidence-based suggestions give you a path back to freedom, energy and your power.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Emma Seppälä’s website (and books)
Emma on Instagram
Mandy on Instagram
Sky breathing technique
Anna Lembke’s book, Dopamine Nation
How many Mondays do you have left? You’re about to find out. Coach and author, Jodi Wellman and I hang out with the Grim Reaper in today’s conversation. We start with a pre-mortem, a pulse check of where you are right now, while you’re still on this side of the lawn. What areas of your life are in the Dead Zone? What teeny tiny steps can you take right now to zhuzh up those parts that are ho-hum? You’ll rate yourself on Jodi’s Astonishingly Alive quadrant and discover if it’s more meaning or fun (or both) that will defibrillate your existence. Uplifting and thought-provoking.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTDOWNLOAD 22 WAYS TO ADD MORE FUN TO YOUR LIFELinks:
Jodi Wellman’s website (includes book and QUIZ)
Jodi Wellman on Instagram
Mandy Lehto on Instagram
Zizou and Roger Federer video
Episode 62 of Enough, the Podcast
We Croak app
“Your next level of impact is unlikely to come from a better plan”As a high achiever, you’ve probably spent your career optimising for productivity, efficiency, and the bottom line. But there comes a time when that old winning formula no longer cuts it. Maybe you’ve been promoted, or you’re leading a bigger team. Maybe you’ve been told to bring more energy, charisma, and presence to your leadership so that others want to follow you. Research shows that bringing play, fun, and creativity to work can help to retain colleagues, and inspire more innovative ideas. Before you freeze and say, I’m the most un-fun person I know (shriek emoji), stay with me. I promise, there’s no juggling or stand-up comedy required. Today’s guests are going to teach you how (and WHY) to bring more energy and fun to your leadership. Richard Medcalf is an author and coach who heads CEO circles with fun and a lightness of touch. Consultant clinical neuropsychologist, Dr Antonia Kirkby explains our brains on play, and why you want to be optimising for connection in meetings. The episode is full of ideas you can try right away.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Richard Medcalf
Dr Antonia Kirkby on LinkedIn
Video of the Restaurant of Mistaken Orders.
Forbes article, “Elevating Leadership Through the Science of Fun.”
Forbes article, “The Forgotten Art of Having Fun.”
HBR article, “Leading with Humour.”
Unresolved feelings of not-enoughness and emotional repression caused my chronic illness. Vagal tone & somatic experiencing helped.Todays’ guest is Jen Mann, ex-ballet dancer and co-author of the international best-seller, The Secret Language of the Body. In this conversation we discuss how Jen’s early life contributed to the perfectionism, people-pleasing and self-criticism that would ultimately end in chronic illness that traditional medicine was unable to solve. Frustrated and anxious, Jen started connecting the dots between the mind-body cross-over with the clients she was supporting after her ballet career ended. She pieced together insights on how to heal herself by increasing her vagal tone and somatic experiencing, alongside talk therapy and physio. She shares 3 key tips for longer-term healing, as well as 5 practical things you can do right away to decrease your perception of stress during days of back-to-back meetings.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT
DOWNLOAD THE STRESS RELIEF HANDOUTLinks:
Jen Mann and Karden Rabin’s website (with book and program)
Jen Mann on Instagram
Mandy Lehto on Instagram
Episode 55 with Tatiana Poliakova
The more I shone, the worse I felt. It was safer to be anxious than angry. Belonging, good-enoughness, and Jerry’s core question for sitting in stillness.What are sub-routines? Author, coach, and “CEO Whisperer” Jerry Colonna adopts a term from computer programming, referring to the software that runs under an application, likening this to our belief systems laid down early in life. Jerry uses radical self-inquiry on me (unexpectedly) to probe my belief of “I must be constantly productive to be worthy” – a common sub-routine in high-achievers. Jerry invites us to consider the beliefs we’ve inherited from our ancestors in attempts to belong (as well as the subroutines those ancestors might’ve been running). How might these sub-routines be running under your leadership? We end with Jerry’s suggested practice and the core question to use in your own self-inquiry. The vibe of this episode? Deep, reflective, thought-provoking.
*Explicit. Mentions suicide.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Jerry Colonna’s Reboot website
Jerry Colonna on Instagram
Mandy Lehto on Instagram
Jerry Colonna on LinkedIn
Gay Hendricks’s book The Big Leap
Masking sensitivity, ADHD, and strong emotions. Where HFA comes from, the signs, and what you need to knowWhat is high-functioning anxiety? Dr Lalitaa Suglani takes us through everything you need to know – how HFA shows up day to day; where it comes from; and what you can do if you think you might have HFA. Dr Suglani is an award-winning psychologist and author of High-Functioning Anxiety: A 5-step guide to calming the inner panic and thriving (Hay House). We get into Dr Lalitaa’s own story of how HFA masked her dyslexia, ADHD, and how perfectionism and people-pleasing were running her life. She shares key actions you can start implementing right away if you recognize HFA in your own life. Poignant and practical. Join us!
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Dr Lalitaa Suglani’s website and book
Dr Lalitaa on Instagram
Dr Mandy Lehto on Instagram
Dr Lalitaa on LinkedIn
Dr Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn
Toxic productivity, self-abandonment and regenerative selfcare. Community with Grace JonesWhere did you learn how to be a woman who worked too much? Who modelled it? And if you don’t identify as a woman, stay tuned. The women in your life are likely overwhelmed and constantly doing – this episode will help you to understand why.
Tamu Thomas is a former social worker, and now a coach and author of Women Who Work Too Much.
In this conversation Tamu and Mandy discuss toxic positivity and self-abandonment, and where these can come from (Tamu shares how she learned to overachieve in her Sierra Leonean family). You’ll also learn how to reclaim rest and regenerative selfcare, and how Grace Jones championed Tamu through hard times (Grace is available for pep talks, by the way). Mandy gives Tamu three real-life coaching scenarios to unpack. Insightful, powerful and radically practical.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Tamu Thomas’ website and book
Tamu on Instagram
Mandy on Instagram
You’re not completely burnt out, or incapacitated by work, but you know that something’s not quite right. Perhaps you’re more tired than usual, or you’re having other niggling signs, but you carry on. These things pass; they always do – until they don’t. That’s what happened to Rosie Nixon, author, coach, and former editor of Hello! magazine, whose career — however covetable and glamorous — was starting to feel too much. Rosie shares the pivotal moment when she knew something had to change. What followed was her getting signed off work and a diagnosis of Psychological Exhaustion (she takes us into that doctor’s appointment and shares what she learned). We get into Rosie’s journey of separating her identity from Hello! magazine, and how she’s navigating her drive with a desire for a more spacious, values-driven life in her late 40s. Real, raw, and radically practical.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Rosie Nixon’s website.
Guardian article on breaking the burnout cycle.
Telegraph article we refer to (subscription required).
Rosie Nixon on Instagram.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
Have you ever received the feedback to “speak up” at work? Say more in meetings. Turn up the volume. It sounds so easy but speaking up isn’t always that straightforward – or welcomed.
Today’s guest is Elaine Lin Hering, author of Unlearning Silence: How to speak your mind, unleash talent and lead with courage. She’s been a lecturer at Harvard Law School, and a Managing Partner at a global leadership development firm. Elaine’s clients have included Nike, Google and Pixar.
We deep-dive into silence — how we silence ourselves, how we silence others, and how it’s baked into the system. You’ll learn that there’s often good reason to stay silent in some corporate situations — politics, power dynamics, challenging individuals. Un-silencing yourself can be especially challenging if you’re not from the dominant culture…
This conversation feels like master-class–meets mentoring–meets real life coaching session.
We discuss:
- A scenario where an executive feels publicly undermined by her boss, and his feedback (when she brings it up) is to increase her confidence and toughen up.
- A scenario where a senior executive has helped a new colleague and shared her client base, and now he’s getting all the visibility (she doesn’t feel she’s one to speak up and address it).
- A newly promoted Partner feels like the token woman on the senior leadership team…Have they only promoted me because I’m female?
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Elaine Lin Hering’s website and book
Elaine on LinkedIn
Mandy on LinkedIn
If you’ve ever achieved a big goal, was it everything you’d hoped? Probably not. Callum Wilson dreamt of representing England’s national rugby team since he was a kid, but when it happened, it didn’t change his life the way he’d hoped. Sidebar: This is NOT an episode about rugby. It’s a powerful, tender conversation about how a tattooed, 113kg overachiever handled “arrival fallacy” – the concept that if we just achieve that big goal, THEN we’ll be happy. You’ll learn why diversifying your “goal portfolio” can create a positive shift, and how to handle the negative inner chatter when it insists you’re not enough.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Callum Wilson on LinkedIn
NYT article on Arrival Fallacy, with Dr Ben-Shahar
You’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of admin, politics, and none of the juicy stuff that used to light you up. In today’s episode you’ll meet Kristi Turner, a former tech CMO, whose work stress was mainly due to boredom. Kristi took a pause from work, had a “Soulbbatical” (more on this in the episode), and found a new-found vigour to re-enter the corporate in a way that felt more aligned with her values. You’ll also meet Shelley Paxton, former CMO of Harley Davidson and founder of the Soulbbatical, who gives you some techniques to tackle bore-out – no resignation letter required. Pacey and practical, you’ll leave this episode tooled up, and (hopefully) enlivened. Join us!
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Kristi Turner’s website
Shelley Paxton’s website
Soulbbatical book
Brené Brown’s list of values
Forbes article: Why boredom at work is more dangerous than burnout
BBC article with Dr Lotta Harju’s comments
Mandy Lehto on Instagram
Do you have BLS? (Beige Leadership Syndrome). I just made that up, but it’s a thing. If you work in corporate, you know the meetings that are soda-cracker dry. The BS buzzwords. The slow death by Power Point. The lack of relatable, inspiring leaders at the top. What gives? Enter Erin Hatzikostas, ex-CEO turned author, TEDx speaker, podcaster and coach-sultant. We talk about how to start practicing authentic leadership, and before you roll your eyes, or think you know what that means, strap in for the ride. This is authenticity as you’ve never experienced it. You’ll leave with some radically practical ways to experiment with authentic leadership, and a new, life-changing tool: the 50% rule. I think I can safely say, this episode will rid the corporate world of BLS. Join us. You career will thank you.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Erin Hatzikostas’s website. Please watch her cool 2min video!
Erin on LinkedIn. Mandy on LinkedIn.
Me on Erin’s podcast (episode 233).
Dr Jeff Spencer is the man behind more than forty Olympic gold medals, and stellar performances by Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and many other elite performers who are household names. In today’s conversation, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the techniques Jeff uses with them. Hint, hint – it’s NOT more striving or hyper-focus. You’ll learn to do “Chameleon Eyes”, a process that opens more opportunities and more of your untapped potential. You’ll also learn to shift gears from striving into receivership, and how “resonant recognition” can be a new navigation system in your life. This is especially important as you leave your 30s, the decade of “conquest and acquisition.” Wise, experienced, and just the right amount of intense, Jeff will challenge how you go about success.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Dr Jeff Spencer’s website.
Jeff on LinkedIn.
Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.
Dr David Yudis on LinkedIn.
David Brooks’ book, The Second Mountain.
Want to learn the real deal on your inner critic from a Stanford-trained neuroscientist? You’re in luck. Today’s guest is Dr Irene Salter, whose inner critic (named Draco) was taking too much airtime in Irene’s life. You’ll hear Irene’s hypothesis on where the inner critic comes from. Then she takes us through a real-life scenario of how she turned the volume down on Draco. You’ll learn about popcorn brain – and my favourite part of the episode, how to connect with your subconscious brain to find out what the heck is going on with that inner voice and the extreme behaviours it demands of you. Lab coats at the ready.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Microsoft research on short breaks for your brain
Dr Irene Salter’s website
Irene on Instagram
Mandy on Instagram
When work isn’t working, it’s easy to question yourself, “Why can’t I hack it? What’s wrong with me?” Maybe you’re feeling stagnant, exhausted, or even burnt out. Is it a capacity issue or are you high net growth? (stay tuned for what that means). I’m in conversation with award-winning author and podcaster, Jenny Blake. During her career at Google, she looked at her management and thought, “I don’t want that job.” If you’re languishing, and can’t see a way forward, what do you do? Jenny offers a refreshing perspective on our obsession with promotions, and what she calls “the sea of shiny shoulds.” You’ll learn about project-based purpose, how you can “turn into a goo” after leaving a company that has brand halo, and why an energy audit can be a big reveal. Join us.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Jenny Blake on Substack
Pivot podcast episode with Mandy Lehto
Article on Languishing
NYT article on Languishing, Adam Grant (subscription required)
If you love an act of kindness, this episode is gonna feel like lowering yourself into a hot mug of chocolate, with itty bitty marshmallows. Acts of kindness have proven health effects, but I’ve also noticed something else. They are a splendid antidote to feeling self-critical, not enough, and being too zoomed in on your own inner world. This episode originally aired in 2021, and I loved it so much, I wanted to give it a second life. I asked a bunch of guests back to the pod to share a collection of acts of kindness – either given or received – and the impact it had on them. Warm fuzzies guaranteed.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
BBC article with University of British Columbia research
Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She’s back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn’t even want to be alive.
She also shares the two things that helped her transcend those difficult times. You’ll hear a cameo from a previous guest. You’ll also hear what I learned from a man in burgundy robes that messed with my thinking. If you’re highly identified with your job, but know deep down that you have a tough choice ahead, this episode is for YOU.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Shannon Sedlacek’s website.
Gelong Thubten’s book.
Jessica Maguire’s website.
Nicole LePera’s workbook.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
If you’ve ever downplayed your success at work, felt like you didn’t belong, or attributed your career wins to luck, you’ve likely experienced Imposter Syndrome. Stats show that 70 per cent of us have experienced its wily grip at some stage of our careers. In this fast-paced solo episode I share three key things that might be causing imposter syndrome in your life. We’ll also explore what might be GOOD about it, and what three-step technique you can try when you’re feeling it. I’m also curious if the term itself is outdated (it originated in the 1970s). Oh, you’re wondering about the banana. You’ll hear how a banana kicked off a shame cycle for me. True story.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPTLinks:
Mandy’s imposter syndrome QUIZ.
How the Queen would eat a banana.
YouGov stats on Brits and imposter syndrome.
Stats 70 per cent have felt imposter syndrome.
KPMG research.
Emma Reed Turrell on podcast (refers to Visibility, Novelty, Minority).
Stylist article with MIT prof quotes.
HBR article: Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome.
If you’ve ever been labelled too loud, too intense, TOO MUCH, this episode is for you. I’m in conversation with two guests who, for years, felt the need to shrink themselves to be more acceptable for others. You’ll meet Karen Goldfinger Baker, who had a stellar career in fund-raising, and now coaches pro athletes and […]
You’ve spent decades making sacrifices and pushing yourself towards success. You love the thrill of the chase. But lately you noticed that you’re just not that into it. The bonuses, shiny things and lures of more status and power leave you flat, and you can’t explain it. You’re a little bored, maybe even burnt out. […]
Anger feels like the baddie of emotions. Many of us deal with anger by numbing it, or pushing it down, hoping it’ll magically disappear. But it’s still there, trapped in the body. Instead of stuffing it down, let’s talk about anger, and learn a more effective way of processing it. Today’s guest is Dr Caroline […]
Are you addicted to the buzz of work — the pace, the adrenaline, the excitement? The insidious thing about work addiction is that it’s often praised by others, giving it a very different “feel” than being addicted, say, to cocaine or pornography. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how we become addicted to work — is it […]
“I just need to get through this project, and then I’ll slow down.” Who knows that lie?
You can love your job AND still be exhausted by it. Today I’m talking about the exhaustion during those ultra-intense periods when we push down the red flags from our body.
My guest is former Disney executive, Dr David Yudis. Disney is the happiest place on earth. It’s a place with no limits – as he discovered.
In his early 40s, David was living the dream in that buzzy, chronically exhausted state. “I just need to get through till the holidays…and THEN, I’ll recover.” David’s body had other plans.
In this episode you’ll learn about the hot little motor burning underneath David’s relentless drive (I did not see that one coming!)
You’ll get three takeaways from David’s experience that you can apply to your own life right away. Join us.
Links:
Book: On Self-Hatred (School of Life)
David Yudis’ website
Mandy Lehto’s website
Author and psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler and I dig into self-criticism, judgment, and comparison.
I share a real-life scene from a “Wild Woman” retreat, and what a cringey conversation (involving a sarong and hand-held mirror) taught me about how I handle challenging situations. I suspect this will be a useful insight for you too.
How do you speak to yourself when you’re WAY out of your comfort zone? If you’re listening to this podcast, I suspect your inner voice ain’t exactly Mary Poppins. If you’re critical of yourself and others, what can you do? Katherine shares a technique that you can action right away. I’ve been trying it all week. Solid gold!
Links:
Katherine Morgan Schafler’s website.
Katherine on Instagram.
Mandy on Instagram.
Mandy on LinkedIn.
Have we got perfectionism all wrong? Is it something that we need to eradicate?
Today’s guest is Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist, and former on-site therapist at Google. In her new book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, Katherine says we don’t need to “recover” from perfectionism to be happy and successful. We need to learn how to be with it in a way that empowers us. You’ll learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy perfectionism (and how to course correct, when it’s the latter). You’ll also learn about the five types of perfectionists, and which one you might be. This is part one of my two-part conversation with Katherine.
LINKS
Types of Perfectionist Quiz
BBC article
Katherine Morgan Schafler’s website
Katherine on Instagram
Mandy on Instagram
Sarah Norrad episode
Mandy Lehto’s website
Maybe you’re purchasing status markers, like red-bottomed shoes or the latest gadgets to signal your success (and hey, no judgement! I do it too!) Maybe the title and the pay reaffirm your identity. You tell yourself that “one day” you’ll arrive at a certain paygrade or career milestone, and THEN you won’t need the validation anymore. THEN success will feel different. Less empty and fleeting. Uh huh.
I’m in conversation with Shelley Paxton, ex-Chief Marketing Officer of Harley Davidson, and Tracy Yates, ex-CEO of an 8-figure marketing agency, serving brands like Google and Amazon. They were success-FULL but felt hollow inside. What does it look like to start redefining success, decades into an established career? And how do you start weaning yourself off of external validation?
You’ll learn how both women did the inner work and loosened the grip of external validation. The best part? You can start playing with their ideas right away, without leaving your job.
Links:
Shelley Paxton’s book, Soulbbatical.
Shelley’s TEDx talk.
Shelley’s website.
Shelley on Instagram.
Tracy Yates’ website.
Tracy Yates on Instagram.
Brené Brown’s VALUES sheet.
Arthur Brooks’ article on satisfaction.
Arthur Brooks’ article on choosing specialness over happiness.
Mandy Lehto’s website.
Mandy on Instagram.
When you’ve spent years in survival mode at work, your body starts perceiving this as normal. A recent article in Forbes mentions a new profile of burnt-out employees, the ‘engaged-exhausted.’ They continue to function at the highest levels, but inside they’re highly stress and have mixed feelings about their careers. Why do some people continue to push themselves to breaking point?
I’m in conversation with Tatiana Poliakova, ex-Managing Director at Nomura, an investment bank. Tatiana was addicted to success and adrenalin, but her body started sending up flares. You’ll also meet Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist, Dr Antonia Kirkby, who explains why someone who is highly identified with the status and the buzz of the job, can lose touch with red flags from their bodies. Join us. Your nervous system will thank you.
Links:
Tatiana Poliakova’s website.
Forbes article on the “engaged-exhausted.”
Dr Antonia Kirkby on Instagram.
Jessica Maguire on Instagram.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
What happens to your sense of self when you leave an important job at an iconic brand? It can feel like a loss of identity when the corporate perks and the business card are gone. There can be grief, relief, and a cocktail of other emotions. In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three women who left big jobs at Nike, Rothschild, and IBM. You’ll hear their unfiltered truths about the discombobulation they faced, and what the mess of figuring out next steps felt like. You’ll also learn some techniques to try if you’re on this journey of separating your sense of self from what you do.
LINKS:
Dr Neil Talkoff’s quote in the HBR. See also for Difficult Conversations book.
Megan Carle’s book.
Find Alina Addison.
Sahil Bloom’s deathbed regrets exercise.
Mandy Lehto’s website.
Mandy Lehto on IG.
Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.
You’ve spent years pursuing a career, and it’s been tough. Then again, so are you. You’re exhausted, and your mental health is fraying. But you can’t even contemplate upending your life now that the money’s good and you’ve got status and titles. Sound familiar? Today’s guest, Shannon Sedlacek, was a litigation attorney whose career looked enviable from the outside. On the inside, she was barely holding it together. She tells her powerful story of (literally) falling off the career ladder, and the insights that bubbled up during her forced reflection time as she recovered. You’ll learn how she dealt with her over-achiever and feelings of not-enoughness as she navigated into her next, very different career. You’ll also hear her advice for YOU if you’re on the golden gerbil wheel, wondering how long this can go on. Poignant and practical. Oh, and there’s some spicy language, so headphone up and join us.
Links:
Shannon Sedlacek’s website.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
School of Life book that Mandy reads from.
Black. Gay. Christian. Shermain Melton spent much of his life hiding his sexual orientation and not feeling good enough. In this powerful 26-minute episode, you’ll learn how Shermain spent years trying to push down his truth so that he’d fit in. One day he returned home to find his room upside down, bed flipped, drawers turned out, and he knew his truth was out.
Shermain faced his biggest fear (tune in to hear how it went!) Learn how he took the powerful lessons of owning who he was, including his fears and vulnerabilities, and how he leads from this messy, imperfect place. Moving and highly practical. Join us.
Links:
Article referring to University of Southern Illinois research.
Shermain Melton’s website.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
Why is it so hard to put yourself out there? – especially if you’re prone to feelings of imposter syndrome and perfectionism.
Before I share some tips and tricks from today’s expert, let’s go deeper on what might be influencing your feelings around visibility. What social, cultural, and familial aspects might be at play? This bit was a game-changer for me. You too, I hope!
Then I invite Darrah Brustein, business coach and strategist, to get radically practical. She shares some techniques you can action right away at work.
If you’re new here, welcome. I’m Dr Mandy Lehto, executive coach, and recovering perfectionist and overachiever. This is a show for anyone whose life looks shiny and successful from the outside, but inside, you’re burnt out and wondering how long this can go on.
So back to today’s episode…
*Cue up the Olivia Newton John vocals: Let’s get visible. Visible. I wanna get visible.
Sorry. I had to.
The episode is serious, I promise. Press play and join us!
Darrah Brustein on IG.
Anita Feron Clark on IG.
Kanchan Prinsloo on LinkedIn.
Reshma Saujani’s TED talk.
Lisa Olivera’s article.
To celebrate my 50th episode, we’re having a quick but deep-n-real conversation about how some of the changes in middle life might be stirring up feelings of not-enoughness. If your self-identity is based on your appearance, your heroic work ethic, and success after dazzling success at the office, what happens when those pillars start shifting? I share why Jennifer Lopez inspired this episode, and why perfectionists and success addicts can have a particularly challenging time in mid-life. We end on a high note, when I reveal what truly makes a life well-lived. It’s not status, promotions, or money…Join us to find out more.
Mark Hyman’s podcast with Robert Waldinger.
Jennifer Lopez article in Vogue.
Arthur Brooks’ website.
Sarah Normandin’s episode, (she’s the Imperfection Specialist).
Today’s guest is Darrah Brustein, a coach and business strategist who has interviewed the likes of Seth Godin, Bobbi Brown, Adam Grant, Jen Sincero, and Shaquille O’Neal. She’s also one of my coaches!
We do the conversational equivalent of the Christmas Cracker, a festive custom in Britain, dating back to Victorian times. A modern-day cracker usually contains a ridiculous paper hat, a corny joke, and something useful, like a key ring, or dice.
Darrah and I share our wisdom of 2022 – a learning with “bang,” something useful we’ve onboarded or purchased, a discussion (paper hats on, of course) of how to take ourselves less seriously, and our best Christmas jokes for you to inflict on your own holiday gathering. Delight your teens!
The cracker theme is a fun wrapper for a deep, yet light, conversation to help you reflect on your year. Take a nourishing break from the merry-making to join us for this final episode of Enough, the podcast, for 2022.
Darrah’s website
Darrah on Instagram
Arthur Brooks’ website
Goodbye 2022 Hello 2023 Guided Journal
Mandy on Instagram
You dream of reconnecting with the things you once loved. Erm, what were those things again? For years, it’s been all about work, and managing an array of things and other people. You’ve all but disappeared. You’re busy and getting busier. Something’s got to give, and you’re afraid it might be you.
That’s what happened to today’s guest, Paden Hughes. She was a CEO navigating the pandemic, with two small kids in tow. She shares how she went from face planting of exhaustion and burnout on her kitchen floor, to creating a life that’s no longer built on the hustle and grind.
Prepare to have your thinking challenged around creating spaciousness, no matter how busy and important you are. No fairy tale godmothers were involved.
Join us!
Paden Hughes’ website.
Paden on Instagram.
Mandy Lehto on Instagram.
Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn.
Dr Mark Goulston’s episode.
Charlotte Fowles’ episode.
You’re an overachiever. Maybe you’re often referred to as a badass. Everyone’s in awe of how much you get done, and how in control of life you seem to be – and admittedly, that admiration feels good. In fact, you live for it. What almost nobody knows is that you’re fizzling with anxiety, up […]
This is an experiment! I’m bringing together some key moments from a selection of episodes in the show. These clips were chosen based on listener feedback or moments that made me think, wow, that was something special. I’ll guide you through some heart-opening stories and wisdom drops that’ll hopefully make this a feel-good episode, and […]
You’re setting more boundaries. You’re using your voice more than ever before. Something’s rising inside of you. But setting boundaries and standing in your power challenges existing dynamics – meaning not everyone’s going to be delighted by your new-found voice. How do we build that inner robustness as we start speaking more of our truth? — especially […]
If you’ve ever been told something unkind, and it still replays in your head years later, this episode is for you. Maybe you internalized someone’s rude comment about your nose being too big, and ever since that, it’s something you secretly fixate on. Or maybe someone did something to you, and you’ve carried that painful […]
Are you scared of being “ordinary”? — as if that relegates you to the dull, low-achieving, not-living-life-to-the full bucket. Or maybe you’re afraid of failing, so you only do things you’re already good at. You’d love to take more risks, but only if you don’t look bad. Or maybe you’re scared of really shining bright, because that […]
You’re someone who holds yourself to ridiculously high standards, and there’s a weird sort of pride in that. You’re known for going the extra mile. It’s helped to make you successful. What happens when the ideals that you hold yourself to become unsustainable? How do you reconcile the very human feelings that you’re experiencing with […]
Do you ever notice that you’re completely clenched up? As in, your neck has gone missing. Your jaw is a vice grip. What IS it about the neck and jaw area? And I’m curious if this part of the body might be particularly “clenchy” for people with tendencies towards perfectionism and people pleasing. […]
Today’s episode is a practical, fast-paced conversation about how to raise daughters who know how to be with their emotions. Maybe you were discouraged as a child from being angry, and were told things like, “Calm down” or “that’s not very lady-like” or “good girls don’t behave like that.” My hope is that with more awareness, we can […]
You work for a challenging boss, and you’re struggling. You’ve tried working harder. You’ve tried working smarter. But you’re still feeling undermined, angry, and your self-belief is taking a nose-dive. As someone who “gets things right”, you just can’t figure this situation out – and secretly, it’s unravelling you. Enter Dr Laura Crawshaw. […]
Let’s get real about your relationship with work. You’re praised for your stellar work ethic and revered for your awe-inspiring wins. But there’s a dark side to achieving that no one talks about. This episode probes that space. My guest is Dr Mark Goulston, a former professor of psychiatry at UCLA for 25 years, […]
It’s hard to be playful when you feel the need to get things right. And yet, deep down, you’d love to lighten up. But it’s not that simple, is it? What if you try telling a joke, or striking up a social conversation, and it pancakes? The fear of looking stupid is kryptonite to […]
Welcome to the SCAM SHOW, a special edition of Enough, the podcast. In this solo episode, I’m talking about the scams that are shrinking down your joy, self-worth, and sense of possibility till your life is so teeny weeny that it fits inside of a match box. What are scams, you ask? They’re the […]
Have you ever pushed down parts of yourself to fit in? I’m guessing we all have. What if you’re a person of colour? How does that complexify the story? Today’s guest is executive coach Kanchan Prinsloo. You’ll hear how Kanchan learned to fit in, because true belonging didn’t feel accessible to her – neither […]
This episode is for anyone who manages their image during intimate moments. Maybe you aren’t fully in your body. Or you’re more concerned about being good enough (sexy enough, skilled enough…) than you are about dropping into true (often messy and unpredictable) intimacy. The “I must perform and be good at everything I do” […]
Can clothes and accessories help us to get to know ourselves better? Can style be an experimental tool for how we create and embody our sense of self in this season of our lives? Today’s guest, international stylist Anita Feron Clark, didn’t grow up feeling good enough. She was mercilessly bullied at school and […]
You push yourself too hard, too regularly, for too long. You’re use harsh inner self-talk to motivate yourself because, hey, it works and feels familiar. You’re incredibly successful, but you’re tired. Like bone tired. You secretly wonder how long this can go on…But you don’t think about it much, because day after […]
How does a confident, highly experienced senior executive end up in a hotel room, laying in the bathtub all night, fully clothed, having dragged the desk behind the door because she’s sure someone’s coming to hurt or kill her? This episode is about what it’s like working for a boss who’s a bully — […]
Trigger Warning: This episode makes reference to severe childhood trauma Perfectionism is a typical addiction pattern, says today’s guest, Dr Shoshana Garfield. The pattern goes like this: If I can just do or get (fill in the blank with your chosen item or accomplishment), THEN I’ll be happy. Or at least less unhappy. The tragedy […]
Do you have the next-ies? Erm, the what? Say you’ve just aced a work project, and instead of pausing and reflecting how well you did, you’re already onto the next thing. Or you’ve just published a book. And you’re already outlining the next book, feeling flat that this one wasn’t an overnight New […]
If you have excessively high expectations of yourself, and you’re struggling to practice self-compassion (or slow down), this episode is for YOU. Today’s guest is Suzy Reading, psychologist, self-care advocate and author. I asked Suzy to create a tool kit for anyone who’s languishing right now, feeling depleted – though still trudging forward. […]
If you’re ridiculously hard on yourself, and deep down, you know it’s got to stop (but you don’t know how), today’s 17-minute episode is for you. I dig deeper into the concept of Minimum Viable Productivity (MVP) from last week’s episode with Dr Erin Baker. Person at the back raises hand (“Erm, I […]
Calling all overachievers! Ever wonder if your exceedingly high work ethic is your authentic way of functioning? Like really, really? Maybe it’s a series of beliefs that you internalized along the way. Maybe your whole system for “doing” is based on someone else’s fears – a parent’s, perhaps, who said things to […]
What can you do as a parent to help raise your kid with a robust sense of good-enoughness? I asked today’s guest, clinical psychologist, Dr Anne Lane, for some tips. Find out what to try when your child comes home with a poor test result, and they’re feeling down on themselves. This tip rocked […]
Clear half an hour. Turn off your phone.
Let’s reclaim some energy.
Are you feeling…
• Depleted?
• Like your mojo has left town?
• Wanting to shift this, but have no idea how? (It all feels too tiring…)
If that’s you, let’s roll. Download the pdf below to get started…
DOWNLOAD THE TIRED OVERACHIEVERS PDF
This short, fast-paced episode is about how doing good (a win in itself) can also hoist you out of grumpiness, self-pity, and jealousy (ding, ding, ding, another winner!)
An act of kindness can be a beautiful, perspective-recalibrating way of reminding yourself that you are part of something bigger.
It’s a declaration that shouts, I choose connection over nit-picking and self-criticizing.
HA, inner critic! Jog on.
You’ll get ideas for acts of kindness from some of my previous guests. And I’m hoping you can also bask in these fun, feel-good stories in the festive season and beyond.
Join us for this final episode of 2021.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT Alexandra Franzen’s article on more acts of kindness: http://www.alexandrafranzen.com/2013/09/05/50-ways-to-be-ridiculously-generous/
In this 13-minute episode, I share a mini practice that’s having mega impact so far. Instead of waiting till I’d mastered it, I’m sharing now, as I’m experimenting myself. It’s a simple, free thing I do every morning, and – for me anyway – the timing of it is key.
If you’re shedding old habits too, and are feeling a bit discombobulated in the meantime, GREAT! Coming off autopilot with old, ingrained habits and beliefs can have that wonky-fying effect. This technique can help.
Do I regularly forget to do this? Yep.
Do I sometimes roll my eyes and feel a bit jaded and cynical about it? Uh huh.
Do I keep doing it anyway? YES! Because there’s something to the lost art of consistency, instead of next-ing through all the advice in gazillions of self-help books (and then saying this shiz doesn’t work).
Ready for the big reveal? Hit play. Let’s roll.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT
Let’s talk wakeup calls. Maybe it was an illness. Or a divorce. What’s on your list of (probably ghastly) moments that made you question your BS beliefs of not-enoughness and start to LIVE?
Sometimes growth is all fluffy bunnies and harp music.
But mostly, face palms and ugly crying are involved.
Today’s theme was inspired by Farida D, a gender researcher and poet. Her Instagram profile pic is a phrase: “The List of Sh*t that Made Me A Feminist.”
Her “List of Sh*t” got me thinking about some of those ghastly experiences that forced/shocked/invited me to reclaim my own worth and power.
I share three situations and three learnings from different seasons of my life. I invite you to listen with your own “list of sh*t” that helped you to reclaim some of yourself.
In my experience, these insights often solidify in hindsight – and often with the help of a prompt, which I’m hoping this mini-episode will be.
Enjoy.
Farida D. on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/farida.d.author/
Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandylehto/
QUIZ: What’s at the root of your Good Girl behavior? https://mandylehto.com/quizzes/
How do you “do” enoughness? What are the steps to come back to wholeness? Is it as simple as chanting a mantra on repeat?
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough
How’s that working for you?
Yeah, me neither.
If you know me at all, you know I like practical. This episode is for the do-ers.
Allison Crow is our guest.
She’s a brilliant transformational coach, but I didn’t invite her on as an expert today.
I’m curious about the practices that other thought-leaders do for themselves.
What modalities are they using?
What are their rituals?
And what can we learn from them?
Allison is IN the messy work of being in relation with all the parts of herself — especially the ones that nobody claps for.
She shares her experience of Internal Family Systems, a modality she’s currently immersed in. Important note: She’s not teaching or talking as a practitioner, but as a woman on her own journey.
I wanted you to experience the realness of someone in the work, and what that might bring up for you, as you listen.
Hit play. See you on the other side.
Show time, 18 min.
DOWNLOAD THE TRANSCRIPT Allison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/
Website: https://allisoncrow.com
Hi (waves frantically). I’m Dr Mandy Lehto, a personal coach and recovering overachiever. I made this podcast because I (literally) got sick of feeling like I constantly needed to hustle for my worth. Nothing I achieved ever felt good enough – like now, I can finally rest, and stop being such a jerk to myself. […]
This is the final episode of MoxieCast! (sniff, sniff). I’m closing out this series of nourishing, soulful conversations with David Taylor-Klaus, coach and author of Mindset Mondays: 52 Ways to REWIRE Your Thinking and Transform Your Life. I have something new in the hopper! Please stay subscribed and watch this space! On today’s episode, David […]
Because duct tape isn’t an option…I’ve created an episode to help you handle a challenging boss. Today’s guest is Parissa Behnia, formerly a challenging boss herself, who now specialises in working with what she calls 3D leaders (difficult, dismissive and divisive). She shares three strategies for you to try next time you’re about to lose […]
Excuses are always available. And yet there are people who just go for it in life. They have a spark about them. A knack of creating a big, juicy life, not just reacting to a never-ending to-do list. Danusia Malina-Derben, is one such woman. She’s an entrepreneur, academic, and organizational behavior and […]
As the world grapples with Covid-19, deep presence and the ability to create a sense of calm and groundedness feel more important than ever in leadership. I’m not just talking about VIP’s in the business world. I’m talking about self-leadership too. Today’s guest says a leader is someone entrusted with holding the heart of an […]
Ever run yourself ragged hosting a party, and yet DECLINED offers of help (while seething silently)? Or maybe you agreed to watch a friend’s gaggle of unruly kids for the weekend (while your own bandwidth and energy were already non-existent), and yet declined her offer to reciprocate next weekend. You have a huge portal for giving, […]
Ever feel like your relationship with pleasure, sensuality and the feminine is a bit of a Rubik’s cube? For years, I heard the phrase “get out of your head and into your body,” and never really understood it. I mean, duh, where else would I be? I clearly had a lot to learn… Today’s guest […]
How would life change if you could shift your relationship with the negative voice in your head? Submit to it less. Lighten up a little. Do what you want anyway, even if the voice threatens you with public humiliation and epic cringey-ness. Honestly, we can be such dicks to ourselves. If you’re as sick […]
“Is this all there is?” Maybe you’ve asked yourself that question after achieving something – a promotion, a degree, a level of success – that you were convinced would fulfil you. And when you get there, it feels kinda meh, empty even. Then there’s the guilt about how you’re feeling, when, to the outside world, you’ve […]
Today’s guest craves failure (not chocolate like the rest of us). Most people will run a mile to avoid failing and looking bad, lest folks point and laugh. Not Dr. Erin Baker. She’s a leadership coach with a PhD in social psychology. In her previous career, Erin held senior roles at Microsoft and Facebook (READ: […]
