52 Jokers Wild: Recent Episodes
The52JokersWild
The Jokers are Teacher and Petulant Child grappling to understand their place in the universe. Whether or not to roll over and accept the cards being dealt. Pondering everything from Fee Phi Foe and Fum to Data`s pursuit to be human. They meander and fumble with diverse topics such as Douglas Adams Theory "The Fundamental Interconnectedness of All Things", "Universal Synchronicity and Serendipity" and how to play a major part in self-coaching and motivation. Querying universal consciousness mindful to see if it is self-aware or whether it really cares what they think. The series deals with the Jokers’ frustrations, aspirations and even spiritual flirtations all the while exploring what Raison D'être should apply for the foreseeable future. Each episode a journey into the known and unknown uncertainties that await in the as yet unmanifested future of potentialities.
In the Middle of difficulty lies opportunity so says Albert Einstein. If everything was easy, everybody would be doing it, whatever it happens to be. In our case, it is planning for our feature film, we are in pre-production, we are also in script continuous development, we are building the frameworks and processes to onboard our future customers whoever they turn out to be, into a safe and nurturing environment where they can experience with us the roles and activities of Micro Indie Film Production in our Retreat. The Retreat being that retreating from their current life and / or work environment to enter our Film Production World to taste, to tease, to thrill to explore, to engage, to embrace, to wonder and ponder what could be, what will be. You can be anything that you want to be, with time, with effort, with nurturing, with practice, with encouragement with collaboration, with permission or even without. We are just trying to be ourselves to encourage each other and hopefully by example others on what can be if you just consistently turn up and put in the effort albeit a baby step at a time.
In The Room S4 E08: Small Things
You think you have got problems until you hear about someone else's. Thats not a Knife this is a Knife if you get my meaning. Everything is relative but time is not, it is finite for you and me, Doctor Who aside. Our Lifestream and its component minutes, 1440 a day a third of which we are unaware of or not conscious for, so we need to be very aware of the remaining ones and use them wisely, valuing every single one and not waste them dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, there is only Now and Now and Now, you get the idea. We need to give value to this time we have; it is fleeting but not worthless, Be Giving of it, share it with Others, Give Value to it, Go Make Friends and Influence People. Do not for God's sake spend most of it on Work for Money for the Future, the cost is too great for a future that is not certain, you may have wealth for the future, but you may not have health, you may not have family and friends, they may have passed or moved away of moved on etc. A lot of my time is taken up by things that if they didn't exist, I wouldn't be doing them, A Large Garden and House demanding never ending maintenance, repair at a cost of my lifetime, so less time for me, family and friends as the bills demand paying. The answer is to simplify, let go of some material things, they are an illusion, they are the thieves of time, they have no meaningful value, they have no soul, but they will consume one. Lots of self-reflection in this episode sparked by conversations with others that value life and time beyond all else, All the Small Things or moments that define our footprint on this piece of dust in the cosmos.
ITR S4E07 2 -Today's episode is all about getting the right perception and looking at things with a different perspective.
In the Room with Gavin and George, we're exploring our exploits with film festivals and what we are doing with artwork, storyboarding and storytelling, and the difficulties people have been having in the industry, which we've also experienced over the last few years in one form or fashion.
What was coming in front of me (Garvin) of all my streams was anime, manga, you know the language, it was colour. It was a flat colour caricature, something maybe I could draw in sketch form. It wasn't fine art, Michelangelo. Leonardo. It was something I could attempt to colour by numbers, but large. Over the last number of years, these images started to appear in six-foot by six-foot paintings. And that's now the journey of storyboarding the 52 I assemble.
In The Room Series 4 Eps 05. Angels, Demons, NDE, then 1s and 0s. Garvin and George started talking about angels and demons and Garvin asked George if he believed in them. As a deacon, he does, but things have to be tested out to see what is true or false. A Boolean statement looked as though it was going to emerge, however, things go off in other directions about what drives us and our purpose.
In The Room Series 4 Eps 04 Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Where's your ticket? Sometimes everyone feels lost. Garvin is worried about running out of runway, while George is looking down the line to see how far the track goes. It's really about the destination and where it terminates. Or is it just a station on the way? The key is not to go off the rails and end up lost in the wilderness. What is life really about? This is the main topic for today's episode.
Garvin and George explore recent disappointments and how they each have deflected the potential low moods through positive activities. For Garvin, a five-year-long project is gaining new life. For George, his artistic leanings are finding new avenues that link to Garvin's project. It's all in the story and how you interpret the way ideas are spun into your head, filtered and processed to meet their full potential and realisations. A lot of ideas are spun out, and when reeled in, a might catch may be found.
Garvin Burke and George Kingsnorth chat about firing up their passions. Garvin has purchased 52 7ft by 4ft canvases on an artistic spree. The conversation goes on to how we need to find our passions and make them become a reality. Stop being in your head and let your heart lead you on a journey of discovery.
Back in the room after a two-years break. The journey continues as Garvin and George make it real and talk about the short film and a feature, and what the learnt.
Each day brings us into a strange new world, one where what WE used to do is gradually being taken over by robots. Well, maybe not, maybe Artificial Intelligence, A.I. In the form of cars, lorries, potato pickers, lawyers, doctors, artists, dentists, mechanics, and filmmakers. What? We are all being taken over. So what's left? If all the creative stuff is being taken away from us. And, and, and, all the mundane stuff is also being automated, what's left? What are we supposed to do? Or, or, or, is it that we are really in a multiverse matrix where we can reinvent everything and not worry about having to do 50 hour weeks and can get to spend time with the family, especially the cat. Yes, that's right, the one in the box. What do you mean, it could be dead but also alive, and we won't know until we open the box? So do I have a choice? Other than opening the box to see either a dead cat or one that is licking its paws wondering what took me so long to open the box.
It doesn't matter whether you are building a Universe, Multiverse or just a simple little, short film project, you have to work out all the details, plan for all possibilities and remember the extra little ingredient of magic is the unknown that will always throw in a little extra bit of spice. That's the fun bit, the not knowing what will happen, the unexpected, the flaw in the tapestry but you still have to give it room to be there. If you don't it'll still manage to muscle in any way, and if you forget to invite it, it'll be very disruptive and moody. Possibly even sabotage the whole project. And you don't want that. Garvin and George start to go down deep into the fabric of their Academy Project, looking at the fine details that thread everything together, hoping there are no ladders that will wrench away at the stitching.
What is a reset? Usually, it is when you press a button and the numbers go back to zero. Often we think if only we can press the button and start again. But is that really what we want. A year ago, Garvin and I were excited about where the journey was taking us. At this point, with massive disruptions going on in the world, beyond our control where you might wonder where we are going, we were surprised to find, on reflection that we are still on the straight and narrow, heading towards the goals we had set way back at the beginning. The reset was back then, nothing has changed and the enthusiasm is still there. We are ploughing forward and achieving what we originally set out to do. All we needed was to be reminded of what the reset was and when and to keep on believing.
Be Passionate is the theme in this episode because being in the film industry can be quite a juggling act trying to catch great paying jobs and then trying to produce a project that will show the world who you really are. The trouble is you need both, the first to pay the bills and the second to meet your own creative aspirations. If one dominates the other either you make tonnes of money but don't really have anything to show what your ideas are about and what your voice is or you struggle to make ends meet because you've gone for the artistic option. In this episode, seven producers, Sean Breathnach, Sinead Cassidy Holt, Frank Kelly, Dave Minogue, Francesca Romana Nider, Dave Thomas, and James Webber, share their thoughts on how they cope with the juggling act.
You know, Garvin pretends he doesn't like to go deep. He sees himself as being quite simple and shallow, just paddling away letting nothing go higher than his ankles. BUT in this episode, he goes deep, and I mean deep, reaching down into the depths of his soul, where no one (including himself) has gone before. So deep, that even black holes are scared to go beyond the event horizon. Yes, we get totally spaced out, including the music. We're made of stardust, and there are some who can prove it, trouble is they have dodgy backgrounds, and probably need a lot of counselling, so as long as they can wait a couple of years so George can get qualified, then all is good. The planet can be saved. In your dream, at least those are the ones that George and Garvin have as the philosophy oozes out all over the place. Told you it was deep.
As we travel back from our future guesses to be in the room with 52 Jokers Wild, we have jumped back into a few of our early shows to see what we were talking about. Initially, it was about fear, and then we seemed to find that as a recurring topic in later shows. Then we looked at what was needed in the industry and how there seemed to be a paradox. Everyone wants producers, directors and writer, but seem to forget about the rest of the crew who make it possible to writers, directors and producers to see their dreams come true. All those unsung heroes need to be considered. Motivation is another topic, Garvin was influenced by writer Danielle Serpico, which inspired us to engage in the podcast process, then nearly a year later Danielle was on our show. Just goes to show how once you say what you want in words they can manifest themselves into reality.
In the room, this session is Phil McKenzie, COO of Goldfinch who talks about Finance, Production & Ventures in Entertainment & Exploring Web3. Yes, we got talking about Block Chains, NFTs or Non-fungible Tokens, you know digital cats that can be traced to their original owner. No, no, their not real cats that have been tagged (though thinking about it perhaps that might be a use for them). No, these are digital artefacts that are unique, one of a kind. Yes, yes, I know digital things can be copied and not degenerate. Oh, no, this conversation could easily degenerate in one of our typical conversations (BOOM). Ok, head cleared, Seriously, now, this is a good thing. Especially with all the deep fake stuff. We need to be able to discover the origins of things. Who created them. No, we're not getting into a philosophical debate. Simply put, we talk about improving prospects for women creatives in film, funding opportunities and eenn-ph-tees. That is the programme, you get the idea. Oh, and Garvin is quiet for quite a few minutes at the start. I thought it was a deep fake version of him, but he soon got wound up, proving he is the original. Yes, go watch the show, you'll love it.
Nathan Mac is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild this week. Lots of clowning around, juggling a range of topics, discussing white elephants, and the all-important reason there are 52 Jokers Wild. Quite a circus event. Nathan shares his thoughts on working with and nurturing other artists. He has found his own music producer and after producing a short film, Nathan is ready to launch it with a music concert on 3rd September 2022. Having such a deadline and making it public has really focused his energies. Nathan's motto is "Support Your Local Artist By Helping To Fund Them." This way they can continue to be creative and produce even more art, which is what they were put on this planet to do. Garvin was reminded of another Douglas Adams title, George found a range of ideas sparked by the conversation flying through his mind, and Nathan conducted the two of them demonstrating his talented ability in balancing acts with a range of creatives.
Over the week Garvin and George have interviewed some very talented people. In this episode, we take another opportunity to mashup some of our previous interviews to see where there were links between conversations. We revisit chats with Stephen Ford, Ronika Merl, Myia Elliot, Aidan O'Sullivan, and Sinead Cassidy Holt who share their aspirations for writing, acting and directing. We find common themes. Yes, we all have to make money but at the same time, we all want to develop our craft and find ways of working in collaboration with some amazing people who share our passion for filmmaking. Garvin and George mix in some of their words of wisdom built up over the past four decades, but are also inspired by the young blood forging their way into independent film production.
Sinéad Cassidy Holt, joins us "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild, and straight away we got onto the 'goodies', fairy cakes and the likes. The stuff that makes every film crew happy because their tummy is filled. With a happy crew, you get a great show. Everyone has a positive attitude. And we all know that if there is any of that negativity around, accept when testing for you-know-what, that little downer voice can be so disruptive in a way you just don't want. Time to expel from our presence. And if you are making horror stories you'll need as many blessings as you can get to keep those demons away. Especially, if they come in drain your batteries, make your clapperboard fall to piece and leave your director in tears. Nope, none of that. Another round of the cakes, please. That's the ticket and a good bit of talking it through as we do in this week's show.
Grainne Humphreys, Virgin Media Dublin International Film Festival is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild. Most of us focus most of our attention on getting our films made and are usually exhausted by the time we get our babies birthed, BUT, like the real thing, that's when it all started to happen. The sleepness, diapers to change, feeding them so they grow and everything else associated with parenting a film. And from what Grainne says, it's all about building the relationships and networking with other to build the support you need to get that little darling of your's noticed. Because without all this love and attention, you're neglecting that baby that so many people put their love and attention into. You MONSTER. Sorry, this is turning into a real horror story. So, here is some good film parenting advice to help get you baby-film in all the right place to be noticed.
The dragons are coming out. They're all over the place, whether sculptures, iguanas or fantasies. This is Garvin's hot topic, as he sees himself as a real dragon, with his sharp tongue, and fiery speech and often George doesn't get a word in edgeways. But not this show. In this show, Garvin takes the reins as the show host and interviews George. Was this a good idea? Well, George was all of a fluster, not his normal composer but the equilibrium was soon found and normality restored, at least by the end. Do you call this normality? It's all about squirrels, nuggets and gems. All stored up for a future. Then there are those dragons spying on some good pickings, lusting after forbidden fruit, eager to make a killing in the financial world, of course. What did you think I was talking about? This is 52 Jokers Wild when all said and done.
Stop, Look and Listen become key factors of my discussion with Garvin Burke, CEO of The Film Production Academy. This was a reflective piece in which the two of us explored key issues that we had discovered through our interviews, now nearly 130 episodes. We recognised the gulf between what the filmmakers want and what the investors want and pondered on how best to bring these two sides together. What motivates each side determines how successful their journeys are. Yet, no matter whether the filmmakers were journeying 30 years ago or today, similar problems arise. Preparation is a key factor and knowing who your audience is. Everyone, including ourselves, struggles with these issues. As Garvin and I reflect, we also conclude that we are where we are meant to be. And so are you, especially if you find yourself listening to our show. We all tend to put ourselves down but often it is what is in front of us that we don't see. So, before going any further it is essential to Stop, Look and Listen.
Judith Blackburn, director of the Chicago Irish Film Festival says the strongest films coming out of Ireland are horror stories. Though a good comedy would also go down well. Garvin and George felt in their element creating more horror and generating laughs all the way. With feral children lost in the attics down in Thomastown, with creaky floorboards, spiders webs, and strange moaning noises sending shivers down George's spine. Sorry, no that's just Garvin moving some furniture around on the third floor preparing for the newest guests to up-and-coming boot camps. Getting back to the plot, the Chicago Irish Film Festival is definitely one for every budding Irish filmmaker to submit to, especially with an impartial voting system to get your film chosen. It's really down to your to pull all the fingers out and make sure you're carving out your best film. Just a second, why has it gone dark? Another horror story looms in the corridors off Chapel Lane......
Irish F-ing Attitude is all over the place this week. There's no stopping it. George, now Irish, attempts a coup to change the show name but the 52 Jokers WIld strikes back as plenty of attitude coming from Garvin. Matriarchy wins the day as the strongest voice, as Myia Elliott rounds the boys up and sings the song that inspires both Garvin and George in getting the blend right between creativity and profitability. Myia tells them that they have to have passion, regardless of whether they have a budget or not. If it is really important to you, you will find a way to make the film of your dreams, to nurture your baby and bring it to life. It doesn't matter which part of the world you are in, there are no excuses for chasing your dreams.
Over the last six months, Garvin and I got to talk to many leading female filmmakers and businesswomen, all with a strong voice and a sense of purpose. Each at different stages of their career. All have similar goals. Have either achieved them or are preparing to put their plans into action. Business is foremost. Each knows how to work with and get the best out of others, understanding the importance of working with and leading a team. These are voices worth listening to and if you ever get the opportunity, worth collaborating with, because you'll certainly learn a thing or two that will benefit your own career, regardless of your gender.
New Year 2022 Compilation
It's the beginning of a New Year, and after the festive season, we are all fired up for new adventures. It's also a great time to reflect on what has been achieved to date and take some advice from our most recent guests. So we have pulled out a few gems from those conversations to make our latest compilation. We hope you enjoy and look out for more guests from around the world in Indie Film Production.
Happy New Year 2022 from Garvin and George
Ronika Merl has only been a scriptwriter for three years. Three years. Yep, that's right three years. And she has been firing on all cylinders, blasting out a grand total of 22 features in 36 months. The last producer told Roni the budget was just ten grand. No problem. 48 hours later. Bump. There's the script. No messing. Job done. None of this lily-livered pining over each syllable, glassy-eyed viewing the heavens for inspiration or looking for that elusive muse. If you want the job done, Roni's that gall. And she knows where the money is. She's a family woman and the kids need fed. Let's just get practical about this. This is her business. And when the job needs done, it gets done. No messing. A script is a script, not a novel. It's for someone else to interpret and Roni is here to collaborate. Enough said. Then she smiles.
CJ Walley is stirring up quite a revolution. "Power to the People," Garvin fists the air, spurred on by 'Citizen Smith' starring Robert Lindsey as Wolfie Smith in the old British TV series from the seventies. "More like Winston Smith from George Orwell's 1984," George remarks. But CJ Walley's revolution is in screenwriting, ramping up the action with indie writers trying to get a break. "What's the problem?" Thinking that the wonderfully written script will find its own way to success. Nope, not on your nelly. That is where the writers need to think outside the box and find their passion for success. It's a brutal world out there. You can't just hide under the television scribbling away, hiding from the Thought Police. You've got to put your head above the parapet and take a few hits to toughen up and spitfire those scripts like a Gatling gun with a keen aim to strike your target audience. Don't be modest you've got to be brutal to get that script noticed.
Stephen T. Ford was shy, reserved and introverted as a writer, BUT then it twigged, the only way to get noticed was to muscle in on the director's gig and make his own shorts. Now everyone is after him and he's becoming a powerhouse in Irish Indie Productions, and by the time this blurb is finished, he'll a made five more movies. What am I doing? I shouldn't be writing this stuff. I should just get out there and make movies...... Seriously folks, by the time December casts a shadow, Stephen will have directed four of his own screenplays and the connections he's making are just speeding up the creative juices. He's on fire. Garvin and George are just lucky they were able to stop his for a moment to record this episode.
Gerry Cannon as an Actor & Producer came to the game later in life but has managed to put the full weight of his commercial knowledge into developing his new skills within the film industry. He has a great way of looking at the holistic picture and seeing ways to solve problems in a manner that no newbie producer would be able to. Having studied acting in his youth, life took a different journey but the skills he picked up from yachting gave him the calibre of knowledge to captain a Viking ship in HBO's television series. So with Gerry at the helm of your masterpiece, either as actor or producer, you'll have the confidence that you're being piloted down difficult fjords with no bother - except for a few pesky Norsemen trying to cut you off in their longboats, perhaps?
Baz Black is a big fan of the old DVD. Says he is old school, just like Quentin Tarantino. George got to talk, briefly about the olden days of Super8mm from his old school, while Garvin brewed up a few numbers to frame his picture. Everyone was getting in on the act, and so did the subject. Baz is definitely beating his own drums, tapping out an amazing number of short films, winning awards and making his presence felt. Now, it's on to bigger things and he's getting the support he needs with sheer bloody-mindedness and determination, not letting anyone stop him from getting where he wants to be. A filmmaker producing quality work that gets his films in front of a cinema audience. And what he doesn't know himself he's not too shy to ask for help. This was such a refreshing conversation with someone who really knows what he wants but also wants to be ethical in a world that is environmentally taking a nosedive, but not if Baz can help it.
Eleven Jokers, including Pauric Brennan, Sean Breathnack, Annie Doona, Mo O'Connell, Roisin Kearney, Frank Kelly, Dave Minogue, Grace Garvin and James Webber talk about their passion for filmmaking and the different methods they go about where they get ideas, the roles they find they have to take, the right way or practical way to make films and the way they plan for the future. Garvin throws in the Finances 101 while George reminds everyone not to leave it until the edit. Even with all the heartaches and spanners-in-the-works, the last word is all about how much enjoyment filmmaking brings to all involved.
Michael O'Sullivan was a gift, coming in at the last minute as a referral by Aidan from a previous show. Garvin and I were like old prospectors in some far off Canadian ravine watching out for old grizzlies that might have come bounding out of the undergrowth looking for a tasty meal. Instead, we struck gold, that rare nugget that pans out and brings in a richness to the show that you just could not plan for. At one point Garvin was dumbfounded, lost for words, flabbergasted, not knowing which way to take the conversation. Both of us left agog, as Michael took over. He introduced the show and round it off creating a well-formed package that only Santa Claus knows best how to deliver. And what a gem of a show, all about giving and receiving. With presents that are valuable all year round as they are paid forward in such a generous way showing love and compassion, that can bring the mightiest of men to their knees. This show will warm your heart and get you into the mood for the approaching festive season.
Aidan O'Sullivan, Actor, Voice-Over Artist & Comedian, had hoped to do a monologue from Shakespeare but there was no chance of competing with Garvin's monologue in this show. The battle gear came on in each corner as all and sundry clashed like the Titans. But Aidan wasn't going to take it lying down, even though he'd played a corpse in a coffin. George found a lanyard and the power seemed to shift, momentarily. Once Aidan was given a megaphone there was no stopping him from causing a riot. Garvin thought he knew a thing or two about improvisation but he had met his match. The belly laughs came thick and fast with the scores flying high. All this "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild flying high with Aidan O'Sullivan.
Dave Thomas, Writer, Producer and Director, is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
Discs started flying off the wall. Garvin and I weren't sure if the alien invasion had begun. Should we bunker down in defensive mode? Then the TARDIS appeared and we knew we were on safe ground. Dave Thomas, writer, producer and director is an avid sci-fi fan. Along with the many awards, are a fleet of Star Trek ships and it wasn't long before R2D2 filled the screen. Were we ever going to talk film? We were in our element. Sci-fi, Daleks, Intercepters, UFO... we were off into our own little universe only to discover that inside the TARDIS it gets bigger. We even found out what inspired Dave on his sci-fi journey and the other key interests that ignite his passion for filmmaking, now keenly focused on drama and documentaries that are winning awards around the world at film festivals. This is another show we couldn't stop ourselves from laughing.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Dave Minogue, Film Producer and Director, is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E16
The banter was mighty in this episode of "In The Room". Garvin got thrown a couple of curveballs as Dave Minogue, our guest this week, had us both rolling in the aisles with laughter. Dave set himself a challenge to get a film made and out there to an audience on Sky and other streaming platforms, and he did in the shape of "Poster Boys".
All the way long Dave kept his target audience in focus, follow principles set by many of our other guests to use what was available and make the most of it, never letting anything block the way forward and achieve his goals. He doesn't have all the answers but he's open to learning what he needs to get the job done and knows how to work with others. Most importantly, he knows how to make others laugh and enjoy the experience. We certainly did in this episode.
Annie Doona Chair of Galway Film Fleadh is ”In The Room” with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E15
We have reached another milestone. This time we celebrate our 100th episode of "In The Room". This week our guest is Annie Doona, Chair of the Galway Film Fleadh and recently Chair of Screen Ireland. Annie has a wealth of experience in film education as she was for many years the chair of the National Film School, part of the Institute of Art, Design and Technology in Dún Laoghaire, in Ireland.
Our conversation with Annie spans the issues relating to building a trained workforce who are equipped with the necessary skills to join the film industry, how women still struggle to find opportunities in film and the rise of the studio in Ireland as more streamers buy up real estate due to the boom in demand for more quality film content.
The final segment looks at the importance of film festivals for up and coming filmmakers, not so to watch films but to build the ever-important network of contacts that could lead to the fruition of that special passion project.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Frank W. Kelly Multi Award-winning Filmmaker is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E14
Our guest this week is Frank W. Kelly, a multi-award winning filmmaker. Two pointing fingers and a smoking toy gun is the challenge in this week's 99th episode of "In The Room" with Garvin and George. A new teleprompt stirs up some issues but are quickly resolved and the outtakes are kept in. The main thrust of the conversation quickly turns to the importance of understanding and recognising your worth as a filmmaker, especially if you have many years behind you. So often we filmmakers find ourselves being asked to do projects at such a low rate but we are professionals too. The Business 101 jumps out and Frank relates his experience in the building trade and how it compares to the process of crafting a film together. At the production stage, it's all about following the schedule and ensuring there is enough material for the editor to work with to construct a story worth telling. The philosophy of Plato comes into frame as we discuss the importance of each person's craft and that if we get used to being multi-hyphenated we dilute our skills. By collaborating, you can work with the best in the trade, who have developed their skills 100%. This becomes the family and everyone knows each other's capabilities, just as they do in the building trade. And Frank should know as he has built up an impressive collection of award-winning films in his portfolio, and he is now sharing his techniques in a new book "8 Simple Steps to Making Your Short Film". #FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Roisin Kearney Multi Award-winning Screenwriter & Director is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E13
In this weeks episode, our guest is Roisin Kearney, Multi Award-winning Screenwriter, and Director talking about her beginnings in theatre and how this inspired her passion for writing and film directing. Roisin is aware of the importance of collaboration and how helping others to achieve their filmmaking goals helps to support her own film projects. Film directing is also a combination of passion projects and jobbing projects. Getting this balance right is crucial to a successful career and meeting one's own aspirations. So often people fall into the securing of a job and let their passions go, but following only your dream projects doesn't pay the bills or keep the family happen. Getting this balance is essential. Roisin shares with us about her family of filmmakers and how each has supported their adventures and ensured the projects get finished and on to their desired audience. It was great fun for Garvin and George chatting with Roisin who remained enthusiastic about her craft throughout. Another insightful encounter that got the two boys thinking movies.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Mo O'Connell (Actor/Screenwriter/Director) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E12
In this weeks episode, our guest is Mo O'Connell, actor, screenwriter, and director who talks about how she gets her films across the finishing line and has the drive to succeed. Each project is a labour of love and seems to cause all the pains and heartache any mother would go through bringing her baby into this world. Some willingly but others throw tantrums stubbornly resisting. Mo always takes on the challenge to bring her art to life and won't let money stand in the way. If you wait around for the money nothing would get done. Mo's talent is highly sought after as can be see through the number of short films she has created and the feature films produced or in production. It was a privilege to have the chance to chat with Mo about her passion for filmmaking and the many areas she has tackled to ensure her films arrive to their target audience.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
James Webber (Screenwriter/Director/Producer) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E11
In this weeks episode, our guest is James Webber, screenwriter, director and producer who is gaining success with his first feature film, Sorority. Garvin and I managed to get some great insights into James filmmaking process and how he managed to develop his feature film based on an earlier short film he had been successful with.
Key themes in the discussion related to how he worked with investors and the motivation for offering funds. The hardest part of any film is trying to get investment and quite often filmmakers resort to seeing what they have available and just getting stuck in. This can be a long and arduous process and it becomes important to have the right team to provide the necessary moral support and encouragement. However, if you see this as a business, then the details of preproduction become the driver for managing your film.
James highlights his process and has managed to get his feature film into a range of film festivals with prospects of reaching a wider audience.
#FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Francesca Romana Nider (Screenwriter/Producer) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E10
Our guest this week is Francesca Romana Nider, a screenwriter and producer. Francesca has studied screenwriting and is looking for collaboration with her feature-length script, The Sins of Our Mothers, which was a Semifinalist in the recent Writers Lab UK and was in the Top 50 Finalists of the ScreenCraft Drama Competition 2019. Her second feature, Rabbit Skin, is a Finalist in the Top 100, Table Read My Screenplay Genre Screenplay Competition Austin 2021, a psychological horror she initially developed with Film Hub North.
With Garvin and me, Francesca talked about the importance of developing your skills and testing your writing abilities with genres you may not be familiar with. The key is to prove that you can do the writing gigs called upon by film producers and directors.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Grace Garvin (Wild Rice Films) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E09
Our guest this week is Grace Garvin, managing director of Wild Rice Films and film producer. Again, like several others we have interviewed, film producing is Grace's job. She loves it but it is her business, even though she sees her projects as being precious. Though new to film producing her previous experience in marketing has well equipped her for her current role. She knows how to put a team together, how to pull in the necessary facilities and knows how to push the right psychological buttons to get the best out of her crew. All with an amazing bubbliness that only can inspire positivity and professionalism to meet the deadlines. This is a super interview and definitely inspired Garvin and George into shifting up a gear or two.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Producers and Influencers in Film
S3E08
In this week's episode, we revisit four of our recent film interviews focusing on our guests.
Karl King talks about being a locations managers and the issues of trying to find people to fill the below-the-line jobs. What he has found is that most media courses promote producers, directors and writers but the craftspeople are missed and would-be filmmakers do not realise the vast array of opportunities in film production.
Johnathan Brownlee shares with us the importance of doing other things while you are on your filmmaking journey. He loved making things and finding out how stuff works. This led to him creating a range of television series on carpentry, house renovation and golf, all bringing in a good income leading to broadcasting encouraging him to write more shows.
Donna Phillips set up the International Film Producers Networks purely because she found she had a talent for connecting people. Her father was a painter who struggled to get representation which influenced Donna into finding ways to bring people together to promote their crafts. This led her into working on shows such as 'A Place In The Sun' opening up offshoot opportunities because of the popularity of the show.
Siraj Zaidi combines acting and producing with running the Indian Film Festival of Ireland bring a diverse cinema and culture that is often neglected as most assume Indian film production is basically Bollywood when it is not. Siraj career as an actor has brought him into contact with most of the Irish film industry and Hollywood, so that what he has learnt he is putting into good use as a producer. A wealth of insights to encourage new and seasoned filmmakers.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Pauric Brennan (Bren Enterprise) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E07
This is a must-see episode, or at least listen-worthy,, as our guest, Pauric Brennan, goes where no micro-producer or buddy filmmaker goes, into the Heart of Darkness of the Mysterious world of.... promoting, distributing and, basically creating a target audience, so there is someone to watch your film once it has been produced.
The easy part is making the movie. Pauric's film "Don't Sell Me A Dog", a road-movie thriller was made in a frantically short amount of time with amazing ingenuity, from conception to execution and completion with a constant eye on the target audience wants and desires, so that what he can deliver meets expectations.
"Don't Sell Me A Dog" can be seen on Plex (https://watch.plex.tv/movie/dont-sell-me-a-dog). On more about how Pauric tackled the film and much more on indie film production listen or watch this week's "In The Room" with Garvin and George.
FILMACADEMY #FILMFUNDING #FILMPODCAST
Sean Breathnach (Ego Productions Ireland) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E06
Sean Breathnach (Ego Productions Ireland) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild. S3E06 In this week’s show, Garvin and George get to talk with Sean Breathnach, writer, director, producer, and editor of the film “Beyond the Woods” which is currently available to see on Amazon Prime.
Sean runs his own production company Ego Productions Ireland where he is developing a slate of Horror Genre feature films. Having produced a series of shocks he then went beyond his comfort zone to break into feature film production. It was a long road but with his film industry contacts, he brought it all together in “Beyond the Woods”. After writing 16 other screenplays the time was right for his pet projects to be realised.
“In The Room” Sean shares with us some of the horrors that many filmmakers encounter but as we discover Sean has more of an accountant’s head on his shoulders than a dreamy filmmaker’s one, digging deep into the reality of budgeting so that he could find a way to bring his story off the pages into a movie.
Sean is brutally honest about the hardships of filmmaking but his passion spurs him on and he never gives up. It’s all about making the connections and building the right relationships in order to endure the stormy journey into film production but unlike many Sean is willing to go beyond the woods after dark.
Siraj Zaidi - Producer, Writer, Actor & Film Festival Director
S3E05
“In the Room” with Garvin and George is Sarij Zaidi, producer, writer, actor, and film festival director for the Indian Film Festival of Ireland. The 2021 online film festival has recently been launched. Siraj shares his insight on how he is producing his latest production, raising funds for film production, and marketing the project. He shares what he knows about getting pre-sales and the importance of knowing where your audience is and what they want. Garvin brings in his analysis from an accounting perspective and George’s job is to ensure all sides are still talking to one another by the end of the show. Bollywood is discussed and Siraj talks about how his work spans both Irish and Indian cultures.
Karl King (Location Manager) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild
S3E04
Joining Garvin and me in this episode is Karl King, location manager, who has moved over from England to live in Kerry where his wife is from. Having worked on such television productions as ‘The Crown’ and various feature films, he has recently sourced 42 locations for an Irish film called ‘Joyride’ starring Olivia Colman. Our conversation touches on the issues arising because most film students are looking to be producers, directors and writers, forgetting there are many opportunities to move up the ladder starting from more humble but equally important roles, such as set-designer, art director, location manager, props and even the opportunities that arrive from being an extra. We really get into the business of film getting down to the nitty-gritty important bits that can help buddy enthusiasts carve a lifelong career in the film and television drama industry, enjoying the journey up to the dizzy heights of producer once you have learnt the game.
Frenzy Films Talk Funding Opportunities "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild
S3E03
In this week's episode, we all get into a frenzy with our guests Sean McConville and Stéphanie Joalland, as we get into the nitty-gritty of raising funds, how to make films in Ireland, a discussion on whether it is Garvin or George that is the freak or the sci-fi geek, and much more. For George, it felt more link he was the referee in a wrestling match, with Garvin complaining he was fouled four times by the umpire, certainly not cricket. The theme of the match was indie micro-budget feature film productions which are now where the realise creative arts are in performance, physical effects and the craft of filmmaking. This is certainly our cup-of-tea, as we also explore genre-based films and their role in developing up-and-coming new talent that the film industry is eager to find.
Donna Phillips (International Film Producers' Network) "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild
S3E02
This week our guest is Donna Phillips who runs the International Film Producers Network with over 20,000 members. Garvin wonders if rain falls mainly on the plain or planes, picturing a few jets amidst some showers, but Donna is in Spain where it was 24˚C, which is normally quite hot for us in Ireland. However, with a blistering sun here and weather warning due to temperatures of 31˚C Spain could definitely be cooler at the moment. Our conversation certainly raises the bar as we discuss how such a Network can benefit all those who are self-motivated and willing to push beyond the edge to find their dreams come true. Donna shares some of her tips for keeping focused and puts Garvin into a tailspin but he soon levels off and reaches new altitudes as the conversation powers on. We hope you enjoy this episode and will join us every Friday as we begin to explore 'The Story of You' as others carve out a career in filmmaking.
Johnathan Brownlee (Award Winning Director/Producer/Writer) is "In The Room" with 52 Jokers Wild.
S3E01
So there we were, minding our own business, sitting and having a pint, and this dude sits beside us, who we thought was American and he turns out to be Canadian, from the part where they all have Northern Irish accents, and I ended up being the odd one out with the English accent. Small world but full of laughs. Johnathan Brownlee is our guest this week. Newfoundland, Labrador, and Alberta colour our conversation, with a sprinkling of Dallas, Texas. Johnathan is our first film professional we've had on the show, and he gets to reminisce a little about the industry he loves, especially storytelling, but indirectly through making sheds and playing golf before the aliens and strange babies get out of the bag and play havoc.
Butterflies & Hurricanes S2E32
It's time to re-baseline ourselves, to make friends and influence people in the pub, without telling us anything about what you do. Instead, we want to talk about who you are and not the job. We even talk about the importance of taking breaks for coffee as these are the times when you can really solve problems by talking them through with others. Garvin wants to dance like a butterfly and fly like a hurricane. Or is that fly like a butterfly and dance like a hurricane. The thing is are we the ones making so much volume with our flipping around that we are causing all kinds of storms on the other side of the planet? Well, it's worth dipping in and seeing what we have to say, to make your own mind up. Go on. You know you want to. We don't bite. Well, I don't at least. If you can work out who that is?
Let Your Garvin Grow S2E31
Our Guest this Week Wayne Denner Online Safety | Cybersecurity | Trainer | Speaker and the one and only fan of the show 52 Jokers Wild, we have actually found our first customer that will openly admit to listening to the show and what's more watches it on YouTube, now if we can only clone him a couple of million times. Wayne's Parents were a Fan of The Duke or Good Old John Wayne to the rest of us, so much so they named their bonny lad after The Quiet Man so it might encourage him to be a good lad and get off his rocking horse and drink his milk. Bird Seed is for the Birds Garvin says, When George and Wayne are swapping Bird stories, Garvin nearly starts to listen to them until he realises that it is Big Bird and his chums eating habits as opposed to the HomoSapien variety, not to be deterred he steers the conversation to The Ball Room of Romance of the '80s and '90s and what it means to do the dance, the ritual mating dance, you have to have those feathers in full plume as you strut your stuff across the floor to throw out that line - Ya Wanna Dance?? Strategic Planning 101 for the lads in the absence of social media and Bumble, That was the Reality Show for The Birds and The Bees, The Bees did not want that answer - Would ya ever feck'n Buzz Off with yourself! We all have to Learn to Walk Before we can dance, Garvin it turns out did not learn to walk until he was about twenty, Turns out no one gave him the instruction booklet and accompanying training video before pushing him out onto the Cat Walk Bare Foot and Clueless. Walking - How Difficult can that be? With Gerry Hall and the Nation watching your every step, it seems it is near impossible. George has been Garvinised for nearly two years now and thinks everyone has at some time suffered a Garvin in their Daily Life, the trick is to Nurture it and Let it Grow. In time you will be the stronger for it and you can send it off on its way back into the world to help others.
Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon S2E30
Are we alone in the Universe or however number of Universes and Multiverses there are out there? Garvin is never alone as he has his split personality to keep him company at the best of times, George is never alone as Garvin will not stop hounding him to edit more shows for social media. Doreen Ritchie Published Author | Speaker | Queens University Tutor | Mentor their Guest wishes she was alone because she might as well be as it is very difficult to get a word in edgeways on this show as the 2 Jokers in front of her spend most of the time in the past, present and or future competing for all timelines of presence with the most air time to command and the odd time throw the guest a bone of a question and if they are lucky enough actually wait and listen for an answer. This week we are meant to find out from the Americans if there are actually UFOs and or UAPs! And if there is Who is Driving them? Have they got their Licence and more to the point their Green Covid Passport otherwise there will be trouble ahead. Garvin reckons they have all been here from the Dawn of Time and maybe even a few minutes before that, however now they like the programmes they see on TV and feel comfortable enough in their proverbial skins to Go on a Date, A Blind Date on First Dates the TV Programme to be more precise if they are to get their follower count up on TIK TOK. Doreen feels relieved to get back to Normality at the end of the show, thanking the boys for the Laugh, The Jokers look bemused as the Show is not a comedy show, yet everyone seems to be laughing as they leave. Make em Laugh it is then, now if they can just get Predator to take off the Helmet to see that lovely Smile....
I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter! S2E29
I'm a Lover! Not a Fighter? Danielle Serpico graces the Jokers with her presence this week, not often we have a real-life superhero on the show, Kick-Ass Champion Black Belt and a Hypnotist all rolled into one, that is just two of her Super Powers and according to Garvin she has loads more in her proverbial handbag, Garvin checks his own virtual man bag for his own superpower, "Tall" yes it is still there, sure doesn't he use it every other day. The discussion touches on whether or not you should use and abuse your superpowers, particularly if you want to raise funds in the Dragons Den or on Shark Tank, Look into my Eyes, Not around my Eyes, Give me the All the Money for 1% of my Business. [Finger Snap] And You are back "In The Room". Danielle reflects on the past, the future and settles as we all should for the here and Now. Sure why wouldn't she? Sure she is in the room with the Jokers, She is laughing her head off and has Garvin Hypnotised. George keeps Garvin on Mute Long enough for Danielle to answer at least one question without interruption from you know who? Don't whatever you do Listen or Watch this show if you expect normal conversation etiquette or skilled interviewing techniques, you are mistaking this for a different show, all you get here is some of what makes sense but mostly the unexpected rants of.... well listen in and find out, there is always a seat at the table for the not of faint heart. We are all Lovers and the Jokers Love a Good Fight.
Don't Cry For Me Argentina! S2E28
This week Garvin and George reach out to Argentina, where our special guest, Cecilia R. Kancepolsky, shares how Argentinean women are developing a platform to promote their skills to a global market. Cecilia lived in Ireland and was able to learn so much from what she found in storytelling, especially when it comes to telling The Story of You. She goes on to share how the Argentineans are resilient people, having gone through so much hardship, especially the economic pressures at the moment but through being highly educated they have built up world-class skills and are pushing ahead to gain their worth by reaching out to the world. Garvin and George get to explore the issue women suffer from a perceived “glass-ceiling” that with determination the Argentineans are going the breakthrough and become their own champions of industry.
We Are The Champions S2E27
We share a conversation with Billy Schwer, a world champion boxer who fought his way to the top and found himself struggling when the limelight fade. And yet he was able to turn it all around, face his fears and become a champion helping others, especially middle-aged men, find new meaning in their lives. Providing encouragement against the feeling of impostor syndrome. Showing that our vulnerabilities quite often demonstrate our strengths. Whereas sometimes we think we have to be strong and quite often that makes us weak and vulnerable. In ways that we can't comprehend. We're not just contenders, we’re champions in the game of life. So play the game, enjoy the chaos and enjoy the show.
Mixing Cocktails S2E26
Our special guest this week is Lori Gatsi-Barnett, Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, and Founder of JoinHer.com. Garvin confesses that he is tool-less, but when it comes to handiwork, he is adamant that that’s someone else’s problem. Meanwhile, George has all the tools and know-how to use them, most of them, while Lori argues that more women know how to use the tools than men. Then we got onto big cars and little cars and Lori got Garvin to blush, momentarily. Then he went off about his G-Wagon. (“What’s a G-Wagon?” asks George.) The discussion merges into the importance of coffee breaks to chat with colleagues and solve problems and how these days, with no chat at breaktimes, mole-hill problems often turn into mountains. Lori talks about why it is important to understand your own worth so that you can eliminate your fears. So, another show full of philosophical banter, tool rattling, and a mouse.
Thank God It’s Friday S2E25
We've been talking about The Boomtown Rats and found ourselves being connected with the actual song proving the algorithms are working away. What further amazed me? Because we had not listened to the song, I Don’t Like Mondays before we did the show, all the way through this show we were talking about the issues discussed in the song. The very girl who had a Silicon chip in her head that went out and did the deed that she did, which wasn't very pleasant, seemed to be suffering the same pressures, we were talking about, that society put on all of us, the humdrum of the world we are living in, the pressure pot causing us all kinds of problems that make us want to explode. And we were talking about how if we don't work on these problems and release the pressure. We will either implode, explode, or stop functioning altogether. In this show, we talk about having to slow down to begin to appreciate who we are as human beings. And by not overly worrying about the future or fretting about the past, we can start to see what it is that we meant to do now and not overthink it.
Don’t Like Mondays S2E24
What keeps on seeping through is there is only time! So that negativity has to go, and we have to accept the little wins. Garvin reminisces on a video clip of a Marathon ad from 1987 when he had hair and saw himself as a Boomtown Rat. He considered himself to be a bit of a Bob Geldof avatar with his hair and accent in London. So here we are. Back on a Monday morning in 2021, even though our show goes on Friday. We have these little trepidations that have seeped in from the weekend. Who is this all for? What is the way forward? What are we going to do? And what's been happening is we get those little chitter chatterboxes bringing us back to where we were a year ago. Are we doing the right thing? The little nerves start to get in there and you can hear it in our voices as we started to shake a little bit. We have to talk through where we are going and what are we going to do. However, this morning is quite interesting because we had a little bit of a buzz and that's not too bad.
8 out of 10 Cast prefer …
This week we have our guest, Rian Lanigan from Sandler Training, and he is a podcast host. We talk about creating podcasts and how to find audiences. The topics diverge from what we believe to what’s beyond belief and just fantastical. Diversity of conversation leads to how important critical thinking is and understanding the process so that everyone has a voice, including Garvin. No, wait, he always has a voice! Rian shares with us how he is going about building his guest list and the way he has racked them to gradually move up the ladder and how by simply asking he has had some amazing new guests, including BAFTA nominees. The whole process of ranking talent gets Garvin reminiscing about his courting days, where he wasn’t shy to run up to the best-looking girls to ask them to dance. Images of “A Beautiful Mind” flash into George’s head as he pictures Jon Nash suggesting how all the guys go for the beautiful girl’s best friends because they don’t want to first get ditch by their favourites only to get ditch because the next girl knew they had become second best. All this leaves the beautiful girls feeling unwanted because no one will talk to them – except Garvin. 8 out of 10 Cast prefer …
Electric Sheep Nightmare. S2E22
Garvin and I invited Dylan Hogan, one of our Interns, onto the show. Which was a bit daunting for him. Especially, as we started off with Art Masking Fluid. This led us onto green screen effects and into sci-fi. We did try to bring it right back again to some kind of normality but that was short-lived. We moved on to androids and electric sheep. At one point Star Trek turned up in the middle of it as well. We looked at whether or not do we need to have tin cans to sail around the universe? Or do we just need to dematerialise from here and materialise somewhere else? Though this is probably the best idea, we haven't yet got that technology - yet. We conclude that the aliens might just be shouting at us, but we can't hear because we're not tuned into them properly. From Garvin’s perspective, they need to tune in to us, not the other way around. Who's got the superior intelligence? At the moment Garvin thinks he has, so they’ll have to do as he asks otherwise, they can clear off somewhere else. Poor Dylan just struggles to make sense of it all feeling totally flummoxed trying to keep up with each thread of the conversation. Will he survive?
FILMACADEMY #FILMSCHOOL #PODCASTSHOW
Can Do! Will Do! S2E21
Don't let things that you don't know stop you from moving forward when there's something easier that you could do just keep on moving. That’s something Garvin and I have found. You know we have had blocks in developing certain projects at the moment, and it's just that there are things we don't know at the moment and they are blocking or stopping our way forward. But that hasn't stopped us from moving forward in recording these shows. The shows are giving us the opportunity to talk things through and work things out and reflect on what it is that we're doing and where we are. The shows have been very useful because they're also helping us relate other stories to one another about the journeys that we've been on and what things are important. I think one of the things that we've realised in this session is that families are important, work comes second, and any other projects should come third. And as Garvin rightly said, we've actually reached this point in our lives where it's not about just surviving, and sustainability. It is about self-actualization. It is about seeing all those activities throughout the whole of our lives that we've had an inclination about, putting all the dots together, lining up and linking them together, and realising what we need to do to accomplish these dreams. We want to see that Eureka moment. We want to see the light bulb come on, and then we want to sit down in the dark and watch the picture perform in front of us. That's where we are now.
FILMACADEMY #FILMSCHOOL #PODCASTSHOW
Take Stock S2E20
This week, we have come to the end of a slight journey that we've been working through and that part of the journey is that we've had a couple of interns with us. We still have one of them with us, but the other two interns fulfilled their obligations to us last Friday. So, we found ourselves coming to the end of that chapter, which is really good because they produced some amazing work. I've managed to get one of the people connected up to somebody else. Really appreciate that. So, we are sowing seeds out there in the industry which will hopefully get some of those guys some work.
But what this means is that we've come to an end of a journey. We have lots of media that we've suddenly to go through, and we're taking stock. We’re starting to work out what we have got? What does this actually mean for us? Where does this leave us? We still have a show that we have to produce every week, but we've got nearly 300 pieces of media or thereabouts that we can distribute. across various different social networks. We’re still trying to get a handle on what those social networks are all about. We do not necessarily understand the social networks, but we also are aware that lots of other people don't understand them as well, and as they seem to be successful why shouldn’t we be. So, we are taking stock.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know”. S2E19
This was the quandary Garvin and I found ourselves in when we started this show. We were flummoxed. It was totally beyond us. We had started to question ourselves about everything. Were we going in the right direction? I don’t know. Could this be the wrong path? I don’t know. Do we care? No, I don’t…. Probably not. We were on the journey and open to… Hang on. The universe is about to interrupt us again. To through in the spanner that will dash all our plans but may, just might give an interesting twist to the story that was totally unexpected. The visitor, also on a mission that could just change everything.
The Passion Project S2E18
An Uncontrollable Beast, or something we should simply put to rest? With the Elephant in the Room, we have to look at the burning questions. In the bull ring, are the elephants competing with each other? Or collaborating with each other to focus on the audience and performance? If we just hold onto the seed of our passion nothing will happen but if we bury it in the ground and let it die it will root itself and become a big tree. With patience, we can wait to reap the fruits. Is this story really about our passion projects? Is there a time when we should let them go and bury them? Is this our uncomfortable elephant in the room? Are our jokers wild uncomfortable? This week the elephant in the room gets pretty scary as we consider controlling the uncontrollable. How most of the time we're trying to put up parameters so that we can control the environment we are in, but is that possible?
Lead Beyond The Edge S2E17
This is a special episode as for the first time we have a guest involved in the podcast, and we have reached the milestone of 70 episodes.
Frederique Murphy is launching her first book, 'Lead Beyond The Edge', to be released on 30th March 2021. We chat about her career, love of cooking and music, and above all we all have a good old laugh, then discuss the importance of having a good giggle.
This is a mammoth 1 hour and 24-minute episode but we think you'll find it worth it as you lead beyond the edge.
https://leadbeyondtheedge.com/
Make Your Garden Grow. S2E16
Are we architects or gardeners? Do we plan our next step or just go blindly on? This week, Garvin and I ponder on various aspects of storytelling, relating our experiences of our garden to the concepts of being architects designing within the limitations of space and budget or just plough on without any ideas of how things will turn out, going on what nature shapes our garden into. There are a lot of writers who will take both paths. Some are still long in the forest, unable to find their way out, while others have mapped out a route knowing exactly where they intend to end up. So, what are you? An architect or gardener? Or can the gardener be an architect and the architect get lost in his designs?
Life On Mars S2E15
Our memories of recent sci-fi shows on Mars had us recalling that it took 20 minutes for a radio signal to travel, at the speed of light, between Earth and Mars. Yet, as the new Mars rover landed, mission-control talked about a heartbeat signal from the rover, traveling between the two planets was in real-time. Did it? Or is the whole scenario playing out in the Nevada desert somewhere?
If that’s not enough to confuse anyone, then we started looking for RED DOTS, here, there, and everywhere. No to be confused with paintings that have been sold at an art gallery. The whale and plant from Hitchhiker’s Guide turn up for a brief visit and we got onto the topic of do we need to think about leaving this planet fairly soon.
Just some of the topics we discuss in this episode. Hope you enjoy?
Yes… No! But … Maybe? S2E14
We need to be more concise. Well, if not concise, more meaningful. Yes, that’s it. Value the time to give yourself permission to go and do those things that are really creative, because you never know when that very thing may suddenly inspire others.
But if you go in reverse you may suddenly realise all that everyone is really interested in, is “Show with the money!”
This week we explore the concepts of being concise, without cutting the life out of the discussion and making sure all the flowery bits get to texturise the message. Being concise but meaningful.
Resistance is futile S2E13
In this episode of ‘In The Room’, we discuss the Ox, which is the year of the Ox for the Chinese. The moon comes up, connecting us to the Germans, through the movie ‘Iron Sky’. The South Pole appears where we find out whether there are reptiles inside the Earth. We eventually get led into the likes of how we all need to be organised. Or be the Borg – Be Org. We then started talking about the AI and all the Darleks and Davros, the Darlek creator, who just wanted to control mankind. And then we realised that basically Davros is ready to tax man, who is just trying to make sure he controls mankind, saying there's no resistance, you have to comply. Just another crazy episode – worth listening to though.
Universal Mind E2S12
Garvin and George explore robotic technologies, and in some universities, they've managed to implant a chip into the brain of an insect. Things do get a bit weird, with the Universe expanding and contracting as though God was playing with an accordion. This sets Garvin off on a merry dance, perceiving Chocolate Eclairs being unconsumed and the shop assistance buys the bun off of George, as time goes backward. Garvin can't get his head around that concept, adding more to the confusion. Well, it’s music to someone’s ears.
Nineteen Eighty-Four S2E11
We can read our dreams and our thoughts. We can watch them as films on powerful cinematic screens with no budgetary restrictions. If you get a chip put into your head and think of all your fantasies, everything cut out you don't want. Learn new recordings, not saying too much about playing the game. Can this really help us to develop? By editing our thoughts, asking a few questions of what we can talk about in our show of 1984.
Is this really Newspeak? Or are we now seeing the screen, sitting around listening to somebody else saying something about Bitcoin? Jokingly, we said Bitcoin in WhatsApp, and the next thing we are being influenced by someone else’s ideas. We are seeing them come to reality in adverts now. The fire is in the book, really going mad about the property. Is this really 1984?
Once more completely sortable with a burger to illustrate a boatman asleep, who before he retired had to admit he wasn't a great reader at the time. Too busy chasing girls, too busy going to night clubs and pubs. Too busy being a dude around town in 1984. A gothic punk, with no sense. A punk with a Mohican, hanging out in Piccadilly Circus in London. Charging tourists, a pound a time to take a photograph of him. A real entrepreneurial type back in 1984.
Seal of Approval S2E10
We're on the journey, and this journey is going to be for the long haul. This is our “Going for Gold”. We’re going for the final journey. It’s still a long journey. It's still going to take us a fair bit of time to actually accomplish this. It could be a 10-year journey. It could be a 15-year journey. We are not young fellows anymore, but the great thing is, the experiences that we've has equipped us with a certain amount of knowledge. We know how to go about doing what we're doing and there's a certain sense of solidness about what we've seen. The ups and downs. We've encountered the problems that you would have in a business or any kind of organisation. We've been at different levels through those organisations. There is a solidness, and we are building on a rock.
We’ve just going to make sure we put the right bits in the right place in the puzzle. Then it will come together. We have R&D it and we're now starting to build it out into a tangible something. The more opinions people have: good, bad or indifferent the better because that's exactly what we want...
Ctrl+Alt+Del S2E09
George explains how a family unit was being monitored all the time constantly by a robot. It was out there and once they got their family to a certain point, the parents had served their purpose and were disposed of. This freaked Garvin out he wanted to have a new improve $6 million-man, woman, or anywhere in between as long as we can afford to build us.
Burnout S2E08
Be careful you don't get burned out.
In this episode, we talk about burnout that can come from work, where we start off being very enthusiastic about what we're doing, and we become so focused that we forget about other things. Yet if we keep on doing this massive workload, there's an expectation that will keep on doing it, and eventually we can get burnt out. We can get depressed. We can get resentful of what we're doing. In fact, we even hate the job altogether. What we attempt to look at is how we may have may resolved some of those issues in a very simple way by finding someone else that we can talk too. So, the key thing there is not to feel that there's anything wrong, because we all do have those experiences. We have a range of different emotions. We have our ups and downs. What we need to do is tune into somebody else that can help lift us without being judgement. Without condemnation. Without criticising us, who will allow us to talk. And quite often it's not that we want them to give you advice. It's just we need someone to listen, so you can get it out into the open. And once we have it out, we can feel a lot better. So, the key here is to make sure that we have demarcation lines between when we start work, when we finish work, and allow ourselves to have hobbies and other activities, that keep us happy, especially the time spent with our family. All this to be mindful not to get burnt out.
Warp Factor 2 S2E07
This episode has Garvin and George evaluating the last two years of effort and start to rev up the engine fuelled by their enthusiasm.
There comes a time when you start to question everything you have been doing. Two years of hard graft and what's it all about? When you stop listening to the chatter box inside your head that is constantly running you down then you begin to realise what all that effort has been about. Especially when you are working together with a business partner. The energy levels you can build up enable you to achieve Warp Factor 2 (you can tell we are Trekkie fans). You begin to value the time you have put in and that there is a purpose. It's all about being Enterprising, on a Voyage of Discovery. Obviously, we're fans of Star Trek.
Keeping Focused S2E06
It's the start of 2021. The beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning. The time of year everybody comes up with new goals and objectives, their plans for the coming year. As a new beginning we want to achieve what we didn’t last year. However, it can be different deciding what to do. Lose some weight? Make some money? Make new friends and influence people? Conquered the world? Or the Galaxy? Maybe even the universe? Or multiverses? You start off positive and it's then, usually, we quickly begin to lose focus by the middle of January. Miss the benchmarks. Drop the milestones and revert back to old ways and see the Galaxy blur above us. Yet, Garvin and George are pretty determined spending this episode building up the enthusiasm to drive things forward. What do they come up with?
Insane in the Membrane S2E05
We are in awe of being in our own universe creating new baby universes. That's the journey we are going on, and for Garvin, it doesn't sound like accountancy. George gets flustered over what 'Insane in the Membrane' is all about. The conversation then steers towards Mike Oldfield with 'Tubular Bells' and Cliff Richard on a 'Summer Holiday'. This leads to us opening our own Pandora's Box to develop our micro-industry within the film and TV industries.
Keep on going! S2E04
Nothing is going to be the same. Each day brings a new experience, different problems. Garvin talks about buy value and not fluff. George motors on about 'Fiddler's Walk' sharing the importance of just motoring on, and how everything seems to just fall into place. The lads realise they have reached a similar point. The engine is going signalling the journey begins all we have to do is slip into gear and accelerate onwards.
The Avatar S2E03
We get all philosophical chatting about "if this was it and you died tomorrow would you have been happy?" Garvin said he enjoyed what we've done over the last year. George talks about living through the experience of the course and films we are about to do. He also got to build an avatar of Garvin, who breakdances in the video version of this podcast. We then discuss the importance of building an avatar to identify our potential customers....
Make it Real S2E02
Garvin Burke and I are starting to meet producers, directors, and other film industry professionals to talk about the Film Production Academy, making it real. The juices are really flowing but we're attempting to keep it all 'PG'. We get caught up in the word 'Pod' leading to a brief discussion on dolphins, killer whales, and sharks. Drawing us in on a reflection of our reasons for doing podcasts...
Resilience S2E01
In this episode, Garvin and I talk about resilience. About how to make sure that you can keep yourself going. And the best way to do that is in collaboration with a partner who can help bolster you when things get tough. We talk about discovering how to focus on the areas to move forward. And how the unimportant things that make you wain should be kicked out. The main focus should be how best to utilise your time to move forward. After a couple years our focus is still on our original concepts and they are now starting to sprout up. They are becoming quite green in areas we want them to be. Other people are taking notice and in the not-too-distant future we will have a harvest.
Review S1E53 This episode is the second of two parts reviewing the first 51 episodes. Our conversation was about something that came up in our minds and we went through all that the emotion that had built, in the stresses and anxieties for something that does not exist. Garvin expresses his fear of being stuck in Groundhog Day. We have the courage now to recognise our fears and put them behind us. It is hard to believe that we have been going 52 episodes, Co-hosting on a podcast. 26 hours of talking passionately about subjects we are interested in. Having opinions. Talking about things that mattered to us.
Review S1E52 This episode is the first of two parts reviewing the first 51 episodes. Our conversation was about something that came up in our minds and we went through all that the emotion that had built, in the stresses and anxieties for something that does not exist. Garvin expresses his fear of being stuck in Groundhog Day. We have the courage now to recognise our fears and put them behind us. It is hard to believe that we have been going 52 episodes, Co-hosting on a podcast. 26 hours of talking passionately about subjects we are interested in. Having opinions. Talking about things that mattered to us.
Area 51 - What's there? What's not? An "Unusual Forced Offering" some might say. Or is it that "Alien" a subject?
Garvin and I do a virtual tour of Area 51, with some of the wacky ideas that we have formulated. Like going through time in different directions, remembering past experiences, and then remembering future experiences to draw ourselves closer and closer. Garvin realises he is not the president of the free world or Captain Kirk. And we get muddle to which century we are currently in, that’s how potent Area 51 is. We may have to turn the whole thing around 180 degrees. We struggle with the timelines of our show because of our date stamp and realise we are back where we started in - Area 51, we're in that Twilight Zone where we're not sure what's happening. Parallel universes. It's been very distracting, a bit like the presidential election.
Any Road Will Do S1E50
We may not know what path or what road we want to take, but we are not too scared to just go. We can randomly pick one and see what happens. Then we may change if we need to. If it is not the right path and it is taking us away from where we wanted to go. Then we can swap over, take a trunk road, go up and down a side lane until we get on to the right track. None of us know where we are meant to be at any particular point in time. If you cannot see your path clearly, just take a road any way you want. Change is the only constant that matters. Keep on changing every day just by being yourself. Away can help you just changed your day. Older, deeper, and closer to the endgame. But get up, get out of bed and interact, change whatever it might be in the day in question. You will get surprised.
Show Me The Money S1E45
In this episode, Garvin and I talk about understanding your target audience so that you can build up a relationship with them. Then you will be able to understand what they want, what their needs are, and why they will engage with you. And if you are a writer, what they want is to watch the stories that you are telling, and that's why you need to understand your target audience. Garvin reminds us that he does not want you to show him the bill but to: “Show me the money”.
Inspiration S1E48
“Someone has to win the day, but not necessarily the war,” remarks Garvin. “We keep on fighting the war because if we don’t, we're dead.” Garvin sees conversations as battles, ones full of entertainment, information, and education. All through meeting new people. This is the inspiration, and we are planning the future looking for the next person to join us and win them over. And when you win them over you've gone and made friends and influence people. Potentially being left with a relationship that will develop in the future. A comrade at arms. A new relationship that wasn't there before. This is the inspiration behind this week’s discussion. Hope you enjoy it.
Once in a lifetime. S1E47
This could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So, understand the person before you go to pitch to them. Then if you know what they want, you will probably get more out of them than you would if you just going very, very cold.
“Is it still there with you, Garvin?”
“I've no plug to power it, but what if the camera still doing?”
“Is the camera still going?”
“ Yeah, well it's still going till it's red.”
“We’ll continue until it dies.”
“This could be a once the lifetime and this thing says your time is running out, then it will It's flashing red still but there’s someone home. I'm rolling around trying to go against the clock? I prepared for this, yeah and my attention is now distracted. So if that was my once in a lifetime to grab their attention I'm going nowhere? I missed my attendance with this thing. The battery dying.”
“Make sure your timing is right. Make sure your audience is not distracted somewhere else. Align that attention span with our little presentation of a Dancing Jig and then get on and dance along.”
All part of the fun and anxiety on today’s chat. Hope you enjoy it?
Be The Leader - Others Will Follow S1E46
We are driven but we might get burned out. It's not because we're not turning upon us, or because we don't believe, and it's not because we don't have a dream or vision. It's actually the dream is getting bigger, the visions getting bigger. We need to narrow it down and decide what's achievable with the resource to hand. Can we get someone else to value the dream? Does anyone else understand our vision? Can we get anyone else to join us on a journey to Oz? Now it's about a journey of a bunch of people working together in a timeline restricted by their skills, abilities, fears, and stress. It’s not a Yellow Brick Road but a Yellow Double Decker Bus. They can get the fare, go in their own time and get off and on the bus as required. We’re off to see the Wizard, we're going to pull the curtain aside. We're going to look behind the goal. And discover if that Is all there is or should we go off again to discover something new, leading others along this exciting journey.
The Third Person.
In this episode, Gavin and I talk about how we are expanding and part of what we have been talking about is the relationship we have been building up. And we feel a bit of anticipation because we are looking at the potential of having a third person join our little team. Part of that process is developing the relationship with them and how to build up connections in the work, to sort out mental health issues. We are both learning as we continue this journey of self-discovery in the work of business, filming, podcast and video blogging.
Kettle of Fish - #FILMACADEMY #FILMSCHOOL #PODCASTSHOW
Kettle of Fish S1E44
I think what's coming out of everything at the moment is that it is when you do have a chance to sit back and cool down, knowing you can't rush ahead like you once did. Then you suddenly realise: “Actually, life isn't as bad as we thought it was. There's a lot of really good stuff going on. And this is an opportunity to reset things.” I think after any major kind of situation in the world, what starts to happen is that people realise that life can be better, and it gets better. It does get reshaped. Now, there may seem to be a lot of bother and riots, and all kinds of crazy stuff going on at the moment, but things will settle down. The dust will settle, you know. The kettle of fish will realise that they're not doing what they should be doing, and everybody will jump out and there will only be 1 fish left in there. And the water will get clear again. That's the way ahead. So, there is a lot of positive stuff that we should be looking forward to, and this gives us the chance to work things through and to gain some kind of clarity of what we're hoping to do.
K.I.S.S. S1E43
There are trucks, planes, trains, and automobiles, and staff, stock, and data all out there for you to have that little package come in the door. Remember, simplicity is highly complex so don’t undervalue based on what you're hearing about your perception of it. If we go back to what we started off with, we had a little saying that Garvin was talking about which is generating the idea, putting the plan into action, working out the risks, and creating a little cycle until you have got the thing happening. Then you go back and start again. The main thing is to keep it small and simple – K.I.S.S.
Forty-Two = 6 x 9 (Base 13) S1E42
If you own a supercomputer? Turn it on. Learn how to code is and basically use your power to make real your life. Most of us construct a world that we want to live in. Whether it's for good or for bad or, but we end up being the ones that construct it based on the information that we have gathered. What we often don’t realise is that we can change that construct and we can make it better. And the best thing to do is to work with other people and enjoy life. Start to see what possibilities out there that can be achieved. We pretty much cover life, the universe, and everything else in this episode.
What's in the Cookie Jar - Life Self Business Coaching for the Over Forties What lifestyles do you want that will print money? Garvin attempts to contextualize the art of scriptwriting and how backstories are often missed. He was struggling to picture the scene confusing a castle with the Death Star. George got stuck on Anglo-Saxon names that were peppered with Europeans. Garvin gasped at all the CGI that he could see coming out of George’s mouth and began to psychoanalyse George’s motives. George then finds a novel way to contemporize his own stories and the budget was reduced, at least in his mind. All Garvin wanted was a way for the stories to print money. That was enough contextualisation for him. Then he scrambled around his desk to locate the cookie jar but someone else had beaten him to it. Inside were no biscuits but his petty cash. No cash no Cappuccino. He found himself back in the world of contextualisation, referencing digital content, and realizes time is needed to appreciate the value and to allow it to absorb into the mind. The anxiety was in the process of production, creating the content, editing, and re-purposing it for different audiences in bit-size chunks. The craving for another biscuit gripped his stomach, as the realisation hit him that work-life balance was necessary before we all find ourselves in a barrel going down Niagara Falls. Garvin roars, “It’s all about the 80-20 rule” and getting the most value. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
Living The Dream S1E40 As Halloween dawned, or maybe dusked, Garvin and I started talking about Double Acts and looking at different ideas of how we can keep on working and doing what we are doing here on our little show, with me in Newry and Garvin in Thomastown, because of the lockdown. We have wacky ideas of ourselves being these two famous guys, or at least in their own minds, or is it infamous? Actually, the whole idea of messing around and thinking that we are these characters is the most appealing part because it's the funniest bit. So, are we really living the dream or just stuck in our own fantasy?
The Hope Thingy S1E39 This episode is all about hope and what hope means. We’re over 50 but we’re not over-the-hill. There is still plenty of ambition in us and plenty of hope. There's still lots that we want to see in do and hope for. So, we have got to make sure that these dreams become a reality. That's what we're planning for. So, hope allows us to move towards planning for something and then taking certain actions to make sure that that planning becomes a reality. We must go through that kind of cycle to make sure that we achieve what we hope for. The same with a degree. If you want to go and study. You've got to hope that you will get the degree and you work towards it, and by a certain period of time you've achieved it. Your next hope will be to go on to do something else. Keep having these signposts or objectives that you can achieve to give you a sense of purpose through your life. It not just about being on a rotating circle, that Garvin talked about, like a train going round and round and round, and may have done the same cycle 5000 times, but it's never actually achieved anything. You have got to make sure that what you are doing on that journey achieves something and you are not just on a roundabout all the time.
The Story of You S1E38 What's your future story? In business language, what is in your business plans that shows you are doing right? Your successful story of what your company looks like it will do in three years’ time. Who's working on it already? What are you selling already? What are your competitors doing? How are they trying to beat you? What is in your Twitter feed in terms of information? What are you trying to achieve? Maybe, you want to win the Tour de France in the future. If no one knows you did it, then did you? Did you really do it? You need people to see you beat your competition. You want people to know you broke the record. It was the evidence you want, the gold medal, to prove in the future that in the past he did it. You need the proof. You need to be heard. You need to be seen. There needs to be some kind of evidence, written photography, sound recordings, video, or otherwise. The evidence you were here. Evidence of the Story of You.
Fall Back Spring Forward -#FILMACADEMY #FILMSCHOOL #PODCASTSHOW
Fall Back, Spring Forward S1E37 The weird thing is when you throw that ball an idea seeps in or a solution seeps in. I go to bed with a problem and wake up with the answer. If you have been relaxed and are fresh about it, solving problems becomes easier. However, the system and the process in the world will use up your time if you let it. In life, often someone or some job will take your time. We all create constructs for our lives. Frameworks that rob us of our independence and this can make us feel as though we don't exist. However, we can change this and find our own way. We can make our lives matter. We don’t have to fall back; we can do our utmost to spring forward and take advantage of what life has to offer.
Don’t Jump In S1E36
So, goals are good. Do a little bit of research. Firm up your concepts to see if they are good because 80 times out of 100 you may find what you thought was a good idea maybe not. Often you will have to make yourself uncomfortable to see what’s right. Quite often we have to recognise that gut feeling. It is important, and if it's telling you one thing then maybe you should go with it and don't always let the head rule. Although you should let your head do enough planning so that you can see what's going on and you don't jump into the piranhas or get eaten by the sharks.
Create Relationships and Influence People S1E35
We have to create the right image and what we've been talking about all the way through this episode is creating a better image of ourselves. Trimming up to bring that stomach. Tone up a little bit more so we can produce the right visuals. Also, we talk about developing relationships, especially long-term relationships that are reliable with another person that you can go to and know that you will have success with them. in some form or fashion. Relationships are not about making a big noise but just solving problems and that's what we are starting to do. To discover, through the marketing process, that we are going through a journey with others, creating relationships and influencing people.
Garvin puzzles over what motivates men and women. Is it all a facade or are we really comfortable in our own skin? George realises there is nothing new. All the ideas have been there before, reflecting on the words of Albert Einstein. He knew, he worked in a patent office and saw everything that was out there. It's all about tweaking the language so you can manage the context, or is it content? It all gets emotional or at least raises some anxieties. Or is it all about having no expectations and enjoy the experience? The challenge is to keep focused, state the objectives and push beyond the limits by break the issues down into small chunks...
George starts talking about Honesty and being honest to one's own ideals and to others around you, Garvin's head jerks up quickly and shout's out with Gusto "Mine's a Double Shot Mocha hold the lemon". George Seems a tad bemused at this seemingly random statement. So Garvin in a slightly clearer more enunciated voice repeats so there is no mistaking it this time, "I said Mine's a Mocha, the one with the chocolate?"
George retorts quickly, "Why on heavens earth would I be getting you a coffee?". You said "Frank and Honest" did you not? They sell coffee do they not? No Coffee today Garvin, if I am to be Frank and Honest about it!.
That's Just Great! Here I am with my back against the wall and all I can do is fall forward on my face and you won't even stand me a coffee, well that's it "There's no Going Back Now!", I will just go get myself one. As Garvin is falling forward gracefully into a little bit of a jog off into the distance, George shouts out "Get me a Green Tea while you're at it!".
The lads are getting "Honest" and making it "Real" talking about "Feelings", "Emotions" and other such "Girly" stuff. George starts to open up about his "Mood Swings", how he has been "Up" and "Down" on the proverbial "Waves" of late. Garvin was not really minding what was being said and blurts out with another piece of incoherent mantra that he has being cobbling together for all of 30 seconds, " Leg is fine! Arm is fine! Heart is OK! I feel Tired! I feel Happy! I feel Hungry! " Jaysus, I could murder a pint now!...". George's Mood lifts immediately - "Mine's a Stout with Whiskey Chaser, now have at it!".
George and his Mum have developed a nice new morning routine, he forces her to watch an episode of our show to make her feel happy. So she thinks that he is now the new Terry Wogan with a daily TV slot. She is very relieved that her son has now made it to the big time, whereas George is happy to have the one subscriber view on a regular basis for that very demanding algorithm. Garvin not to be out done is watching an episode on YouTube in the evening and listening to a podcast every other morning, you do have to keep the numbers up after all. The lads are easily pleased after all they honestly have the best possible audience they could wish for, to others they have simply taken narcism onto a new minimalistic level.
The Jokers are getting comfy in their respective skins so to say, more polished even. Garvin is now "Turning Up" as he calls it, well that's what he is saying to the family, he is "Dressed to Impress" as he moves from hall to kitchen, from living room to office or Studio as he now wants it called. "I'm off to do my show in the studio!" can be heard on a regular basis in the house, to anyone that wants to know or listen, normally there isn't anyone there, but he shouts it out anyway, "The Universe" needs to know as it has a major role to play in most of the episodes. In Northern Ireland "The Universe" watches a similar story role out daily, George dressed in waistcoat, cravat and sports jacket shouting out to all and sundry, "I'm off to the Shed, Studio! Studio! to do my show, don't come out, unless it's with Tea and Biccies!".
The Lads are trying to be "With it", "Fresh", "Rebels" even, however there's just no amount of mid fifties anything is going to be anymore than what it is, "The Odd Couple" or to be frank and honest two "Blokes" trying to be themselves, the Best themselves they can be, so far they are looking and sounding sharp, nobody is quite sure what they're at yet but can't say that they know either.
Two Sharp Dressed Men and quick of wit, not afraid to enter into conversation battle with anyone foolish enough to say hello and ask them how they are. How long have you got, have you not somewhere better to be because they have two lifetimes of opinion and "have at you" to give an airing should you care to partake. You can choose auditory or visual they cater to all mediums and if you give them a few more months, you can have the written version as well with supporting compendium. Will you be in our audience please?", can often be heard in the distance as the bemused and stunned run not so gracefully away...
Garvin is Paranoid at the best of times, he thinks everybody and in particular "The Universe" is conspiring against him, oh! and George. The Universe is conspiring against both of them that is.
Just as they had created their ingenious hybrid world-class business model for self-directed learning in the indie film industry which was targeting students from across the world, The Universe in its universal wisdom decided to throw a Pandemic into the Mix, So Limited or No Travel between countries, Oh! And World Wide Shut Down of Film Production Per Se and just for good measure maybe a Global Recession or Even Depression. See how you Jokers get on with that one in your Business Model?
George reassures Garvin it's nothing personal, The Universe is just making an Example of the Earth and not them in particular.
Garvin Sticks the Proverbial "Two Fingers" up to "The Universe" shouting at the Top of his voice, "Tis but a Flesh Wound! Have At You!!"
A lot of people in the Sleepy Irish Village where Garvin is currently residing are a tad bit confused as to who in particular this mad looking six foot six Jackeen (Nutter From Dublin) is shouting at? They figure it may be easier and more advisable to just cross the road to avoid any misunderstandings and or confusion never the less.
So that's it, They (The Jokers) are not giving up that easy. They may be on two different planets but they have one goal in common, to conquer the social media universe and nothing less will do, well maybe 20 percent less but that's final.
Garvin and George adopt their New Mantra "80:20", They aim to wear out the "Pareto Principle", you can never have enough of it after all. George wonders if they have quite got the hang of the concept when Garvin keeps giving up on every project just as it nears completion. They need to wrestle out what this 80% Minimum Leave Good Enough Alone actually looks like or everything they do will just look half-arsed or maybe 80% Arsed, which is One Full Cheek and a Flash of the other.
George and Garvin Agree the rest of 2020 is all about "Their ART!!", They want to nurture their creativity albeit in a public place or virtual space being of course the Universe of the Internet and its various Social Media Platforms. They are ramped up and pumping out verbal diarrhea and packaging it like deranged madmen for their ever-elusive audience. They are in the Past, the Present, and the bloody Future even Doctor Who and his Tardis is only in one place at a time.
It is no surprise their audience is doing it's very best to stay hidden because when this duo finishes this game of hide-and-seek, that audience will never be the same again, they will be waking up in the middle of the night screaming and in a cold sweat, there'll be no escaping these jokers anymore.
They will be everywhere you look, you might as well just give in now and save all the hassle, just do what you're told and subscribe, follow and share, and to be doubly sure comment and like, like the good influencees that you are.
The Jokers proclaim to anyone that will listen, "WE ARE GUINEA PIGS!", that's what we are, If we can do it, Jaysus anybody can. We have mastered the Start Point on every platform, We officially have no customers, no subscribers, no followers, no listeners, and no clue how to get any of them on these time vampires being Linkedin, FaceBook, Twitter, and most of all YouTube. They might as all well be in feck'n Double Dutch, they really don't cater to the Bewildered and Confused Baby Boomer and Millennial that just wants to make people [preferably paying customers] happy.
There is so much work, so many roles, so much to do and so little time to do it in. They are good at Processes particularly Production, they are even getting some inkling of Marketing and Branding, But what they really need to do is Clone themselves and Inject Artificial Intelligence into them and immediately put them to work 24/7 writing copy, designing T-Shirts, and Caps, illustrating the books just to start with. The Lads will concentrate their efforts on their ART or Content, the plan is to be Tokking Off Their Heads in no time.
The Social Media Platforms are soon drowning in images of the boys ranting their particular incoherent brand of mindfulness peppered with business and life coaching mantras, you can't move from one platform to the next without seeing Garvin's Lips chanting out some blurb about God only knows what as no one ever hangs on long enough to find out. They are channel hoping so quick to avoid the Inane Drone of the Big Mans Booming Rants. Every once and awhile or now and again an unsuspecting viewer lands on George giving a pleasant bit of counselling and coaching advice only to be rudely shut down 30 seconds later by Garvin's - Ah! you thought you were safe and comfortable in your happy go lucky life, well you can forget about that! here are 101 things you forgot to worry about! Now be on your way! And Don't Forget to Subscribe as you shut the door behind you.
If Only the Lads would just give up, if not for their sake, for everyone else's. The Universe Shrugs its Shoulders [Only the External Observer Noticed] saying to itself and anyone else bothered to listen, "I Did Try my best to Stop Them, there just too bloody-minded to realise that the world is not ready for their particular Cup of Tea"...
Minimising Risk: Summary Description:
Garvin is Risk Averse to the extreme, wanting statistics and assurances before he opens the door to strangers or tries new things. Empathy is in short supply and only earned through trust and even then with prior notice of any future ailments that may require his intervention and or assistance.
George on the other hand has empathy in overabundance, after all, he has a direct line to the universal flow and the higher deities within and is pretty sure that everything will be all right on the night and just work itself out, although he still prefers to peep through the letterbox from behind his front door whenever he hears a knock in the middle of the night.
You can be damn sure Criminals, Chancers, and Neighbours in dire need will have a totally different experience depending on which joker answers the door to them.
If you are having a heart attack and in need of medical assistance you better have your Passport and supporting paperwork with you and in triplicate if Garvin is to answer the door to you.
George might make you a cup of tea and give you a cupcake through the letterbox before he calls for the ambulance. On second thoughts, did you see the price of calling for an ambulance, so be clear if you call to Georges, he is the Ambulance and a waiver will need to be signed if you want a ride in it.
George is impatient at the best of times but 20 minutes wait time for an ambulance gives him the perfect excuse to get his Halloween costume out early, in the blink of an eye he is in full paramedic regalia and has his Neeh Naah Flashing Red and Blue Light on the roof of his Toyota Yaris. Before you know it, he has the Neighbour now Patient "Compos Mentus" or not bundled into the back and en route at high speed to the local AE hospital. Luckily he hadn't found the cork screw for the house red before the knock at the door, so no potential drink driving points off his licence this time.
At the AE he pulls in onto the footpath in front of a Police Car to their incredulous surprise. He waves at them as he bundled the half conscious patient out of his car and into causality, "Its Ok! Its Ok! I am Sober! and this Man is not a Criminal!..Oh! And he has signed the Waiver".
Garvin on hearing this story starts to worry retrospectively on Georges behalf and goes straight to his "Could Have, Would Have, Should Have" Routine. "Are you mad? You could have been mugged! I would have waited longer to let them in and waited on the ambulance, You Should have waited on the Ambulance you took on the Responsibility and the Risk of being Sued". George tells Garvin to give his Chatter Box a clip around the side of the head, it has gone all "Negative" again, even after all his training and coaching.
Garvin blames the Insurance Culture on his Change of Empathy over the years. Garvin reminds George of the Film "Hitch Hiker", This is Garvin's excuse for not picking up any of his neighbours while en route to the Big City. He Actually has a Glove Box full of brown envelops with a single 5 Euro Notes in each attached to a small printed note saying "Here is your Bus Fare, I can't pick you up, I have a Hitch Hiker Phobia since watching the Film of the same name". His Neighbours always try to stick their "Thumb Out" when they see Garvin pull out of his Drive. If Garvin didn't know any better they seem to be actually queuing up now. His Neighbours can be heard saying down the town, sure where else would you get a car heading off at speed with an Open Passenger Window that Dispenses 5 Euro Notes at the sole cost of sticking your thumb out quick enough.
To Garvin's consternation and bewilderment, he now spends most Monday mornings licking brown envelops and stuffing fivers into them along with his phobia notes. He is now considering whether it makes more financial sense to hire a bus to the city to drive behind him and pick up anyone who wants to go when he is going as it may well be cheaper in the long run.
This Town is becoming more and more like the Wild West. The Jesse James Gang and Billy the Kids are on every street corner now with COVID 19. In a Rural Town, you could be Shot or at the very least Ostracised if you sneeze or cough within 200 yards of anyone, If you have hay fever or allergies, for God's sake stay at home and get someone else to go to the shops for you.
Garvin feels he may need more training on how to put on and take off his mask, What's the Problem? as he blows his nose in it after unscrunching it out of his pocket and then putting it on his face. He is perplexed as to why everybody keeps looking at him strangely, "I am Compliant!", he keeps on shouting at anyone that will stay around him long enough to listen.
He decides to invest in a Full Head Clear Visor so his Neighbours can see more clearly that it is him and that they don't need to worry. His Allergies Act Up and he Sneezes and sprays the inside of the visor as he bangs the outside with his rolled-up cloth mask that he is now trying to use as a handkerchief. He decides it will be easier to just shop online.
The minimum requirement now to work is your "Insurance Certificate" and "A Mask". They now go hand in hand well as long as you don't cross contaminate them. Training is very important and of course Compliance, but in particular don't borrow Georges Camera if he puts it down, Don't Shop in Supermarket Aisle's if there's no wind, Don't Hitch Hike in Rural Towns in Ireland, the best you can expect is your bus fare thrown at you at speed from a passing car. Don't Sneeze or Cough in Rural Town or you could be hung, drawn and quartered albeit by locals being Compliant in Full Hazmat at a Social Distance.
030 - Self-Direction.
“You’re bipolar,” Garvin blurts out. “That’s logical from both directions.”
“That’s risky,” George replied. “Gather yourself together. Don’t get blocked.”
“It’s Summertime,” Garvin shouts. “Don’t panic with study. Enjoy it.”
George has spent his life directing others but are the signs now saying, “let them direct themselves.” Everyone is on a journey and only they can know the answer to the questions poses. The core of mentoring, coaching, and counselling is to allow self-exploration and self-discovery. George’s student wanted him to give the answers but instead, he replied, “That’s not important. What do you want?”
George asks Garvin, “How do you encourage others to seek the answer themselves?” Garvin refuses to answer because he was thinking of something else. He’d focused on George’s unwitting question, and the answer, in Garvin’s mind it was “42”.
The only trouble was that no-one knew the question. From Garvin’s perspective, this was an unfathomable universal problem. “Is it 6 times 7? 42 time 1? 6 by 9 in Based-13? Is it the number to a house?”
Should we target the answer and work backward? Cars, models, and fancy clothes are Garvin’s aspirations, but how the hell does he get there? Can this be achieved in one lifetime? “What was the question again?”
“You’ve to do a bunch of stuff?” Garvin smiles. “If you want that, stop what you’re doing now. Cuz it ain’t working.” Visualise where you want to be and take the steps necessary to get there and don’t trip. Mind the Gap. “What will lead to the answers I now want,” Garvin quizzes. “And what questions should you ask yourself that will lead me there? It’s critical path analysis with limited time on Earth.”
George asks a question then gets confused when Garvin persists in getting clarification on every aspect until George’s head spins off again. “It’s only when a specific question is asked that I can find a solution,” says George, then reverts to techno-babble to try and gather his thoughts. Garvin answers, “I’ve combed my teeth and brush my head.” George is gobsmacked. “What do we do now?”
If you want to know, then ask yourself the right questions so your answers can be met. Self-direct.
029 The Construct - Life Self Business Coaching for the Over Forties.
Padawan Garvin frantically attempts to shed the Dark Side, but this time it’s in the form of spherical projectiles being given the boot. He just won’t have it. Darth George has gone too far, though Padawan Garvin may give in if stars and planets are involved.
It’s all about the future, when these two geezers try to work out the path ahead. Now their heading towards the Matrix, another construct of their imagination. While mini-Darth George tried to spew out films, a horror-story erupts as dark forces from ‘Stranger Things’, chain him to the production line of the Bozeat Boot Company. His rebellious nature channelled far off opportunities, spinning his technical head. Where’s the Exorcist?
Padawan Garvin reminisces a single channel with Ireland’s RTE1 on the ‘telly’. Life was simpler then. Even Darth George only had BBC1, BBC2, and ITV. No-one thought beyond the weekend. All that mattered was money for the ‘tinnies’, the bus-fares and entrance fee to the nightclubs to chase the women. Back then who wanted responsibilities? No foresight, no desire to grow up, no clue.
Darth George sniggers away as he brings up the feudal system, triggering another rant for Padawan Garvin as he attempts to bring the conversation back into the 21st century. Darth George continues to get dizzy in constant moves and never knows where he is. Never belonging but overflowing with creative ideas from all these experiences. But the leather object revs up more rants from Garvin, as he reflects pub talks his dad had with mates that were more alien than Man United being whisked away in a UFO.
Garvin refuses the concept of a construct where 24 humans kick up dirt with a planetoid object. Now, if it was ancient aliens? Naw, even then it’d be too far-fetched. To him its just blah, blah, blah. So, don’t bother talking about… George admits he hated the subject-that-shall-not-be-mentioned. Even the Moon got confused with the other spherical object.
It’s all a Construct. Systems to hold you in place. To distract your mind so you don’t have to think. Bells ringing in your ears. George talks about constructing a model Moon for his old company logo out of polystyrene. Garvin says his German Shepherd dog chews on something similar and suggests George use it for the next sci-fi adventure, cuz it looks like Mars.
SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
May the Force Be With You!
Padawan Garvin and Darth George are meddling with the Dark Side of Linkedin Algorithms and YouTube Analytics. Their Energy Levels are not what they used to be.
May the Feckn Force Such that it is with you! "Darth George". And With You My Padawan - Garvin! But Can you please Stop Interrupting me every five minutes with your inane and insufferable questions. For the last time, I don't know where you can order some extra "Metaclorians"! Have you checked Amazon Multiverse Edition?
We need to Top Up our Energy levels, if we are to keep up with all this work we keep creating for that elusive audience, they seem to be rebelling against our current efforts to Influence them. We need to create a large enough Disturbance in their Mojos to bring them over to the 52 Joker Wild Side of Life.
You are right as ever My Joker Darth we need to replenish our energy reserves if we are to succeed in our mission. I will venture out to the Outer Limits of the LockDown System and stock up on the Energy of the Red Bull Nebula.
So, Will, I Get you anything else while I am off out at the Shops and while I think of it before I go, Can I Borrow Your Darth Mask as mine is in the Dishwasher?
You are growing in expertise my Padawan, soon you will Embrace the Power of Multi-Tasking, until then you will need to keep forcing the square pegs into the round holes with the big mallet, it is only when you reach true enlightenment that the power of the "Pareto Principle" can be fully unleashed.
In the meantime, You are to hold yourself accountable to the higher purpose and be sure to Act within Normalised standards. Don't Disturb anyone else unnecessarily, we have enough interruptions as it is, at this rate, we will never get anything done to move the master plan forward.
We will need to bring stability to the Disruptions in the Force, if our Base Audience is to grow and we are to Innovate to a higher level of existence, stretching our influence in the Social Media Universal Flow.
We are taking on Insurmountable Odds to break through the Barrier of Non Reaction currently preventing the successful and sustained engagement with fellow journeyers in the Processes of Life and the higher Pursuit of Role Meaning.
Darth George? Yes! Padawan Garvin?
When will I be a True Jedi Joker?
You have always been one, You just have to see it in the Mirror Smiling Back and You will Recognise the True Power of the Force of You...
The Jokers aren't Perfect, they nearly make a point of it! Well, that's their excuse for doing stuff half-arsed off the cuff and looking happy with themselves as they put another show in the proverbial can. That's a Wrap! Sure the Audience won't notice the imperfections, sure there isn't one, An Audience that is, Sure what do they know anyway?
Garvin asks George is he any good at Math, For the last 20 years Two and Two never seemed to add up to, well whatever it's meant to. Garvin has been using Magic Math in his Accounting Career to date, many of his previous conversations usually went along the lines of.."Well, what do you want the numbers to say? I know you don't like what they are saying, but the facts are the facts!, Ok then... What Golden Numbers do you prefer, after all half them are already missing anyway!
The Lads decide that Imperfection is the new Perfection, George is now happy with being an "Imperfectionist", it is after all more attractive to the mass audience.
They are going to apply the Pareto Principle to their new approach, The 80 / 20 Rule is now just 80 / 0 , the last 20 is just too near the perfection of 100 percent, so 80 is the new 100 and that's just perfect now.
The Jokers are no longer building with the end in mind, they don't need to have all the answers, any answer will do until some else is asking questions of them and more to the point paying for it. Money is Time or was it Time is Money, Doesn't really matter they have very little of both, so they are going to clone themselves as soon as they can and put them to work printing some currency they can then go blow designing flaws in their work for the future audience to point back out to them at their leisure by whatever social media channel they so choose. They need to have some fall guys to point at when the proverbial shit hits the fan anyway. They agree to leave Good Enough Alone, Who is this "Good Enough" person anyway? Well, he is the person responsible for everything going forward now, he is no perfectionist, he is more of an 80 percenter. He does seem to be a dab hand at managing unrealistic expectations I hear, Jaysus!! Garvin Exclaims with a very anxious look, And Who the Feck is this "Unrealistic Expectations" Fecker now? If it keeps going on like this, we will need a bloody "Project Manager" to keep those two in check if we are to get anything of value done. I hope to God this bunch are all working Pro Bono because I'm working for Fresh air and I'm not sure if I am charging enough of that!
The Jokers revisit the Bear in the Woods Concept, in that, if he drank a beer and you didn't hear him open the can, Was the Beer a Carlsberg? Well, something along those lines.
The new version now being, if the audience being the audience of one, sees our video or listens to our podcast and they don't have an opinion, then it is still new and brilliant until, well doomsday and hell freezes over or we find a customer that actually watches and listens to it, whichever happens first, we're good with it, either way, We are Brilliant until a billion people tell us otherwise.
The Jokers have realised their USP or Unique Selling Point are their Imperfections of which they have many, they are practically overflowing in abundance of them, too many even to name, go figure that this is the Value, they can pretty much corner the market in, these unknown qualities and quantities of which they are the Gurus in, all they have to do now is Simply ..Capture the Ghost in the Machine, Strap him down and Brand the Be Jaysus out of him and Sell from now to Doomsday and Beyond, Childs Play if they don't say so themselves. The Perfect Plan, Now what was the Budget Again? Garvin have you set those SMART ARSE Goals you were talking about? Garvin? Garvin???
George and Garvin were having a few come to Jesus moments, they don't think their suffering from Imposters Syndrome anymore, they agree to no longer use the phrase "Fake it until you make it" as their go-to Mantra, they agree to the new one "Spoof it until you hoof it!", as it seems more mainstream and acceptable in social media space.
The Lads are tinkering with the idea of starting an On-Line Shop for TFPA and 52 Joker Wild Merchandise as a potential revenue stream to help focus the Branding Exercise, George agrees to design the T-Shirt if Garvin can come up with the Go To Catch Phrases.
George Rolls his eyes to heaven when he hears Garvin chanting in the background, "Everyone and their Mother" now is starting to do a Podcast!, George! I have one "Everyone and Their Mother is Podcasting!", what do you think? George replies with a grin, "That's No Accident!", Well if it is, it is A "Happy Accident!".
Garvin seems to be spitting at the mirror, on closer observation he is trying to enunciate the word "SSSpeccific" or is it "Specific", either way, he will have to Develop Muscle Control of his Lips if is to "Suuucceeed".
Garvin points out that he feeling a little "Rejected" that "The Non-Audience" hasn't "Reciprocated!", George replies, "That's Ok! It's Not for them anyway, so we must be doing something right!. We just need to move proverbial rooms and get in front of our audience", Garvin Pipes Up with a new wind and sense of purpose.."Now which room was that again?".
This Baby! Let's Dress it Up and it will "Get Legs!" soon enough it will be running Marathons or is it "Snickers?".
George is reminiscing of bygone days, back in Feudal Times when PC's crashed on a regular basis during large Edits. He didn't sweat the Drama, he enjoyed these "Happy Accidents" as they gave him the opportunity to "Build with the Answer in Mind", He also got paid twice for the same job which he didn't mind either.
George, We need to write our "Obituaries" if we are to really "Build with the End in Mind", otherwise we might end up living the wrong lives. Oh! and it will help with drafting up our 5-year plan and setting some Smart Goals.
The Jokers agree that they haven't been rejected, they just haven't met their Audience yet, they will apply the Mister Miyagi Principle to their work ethic going forward...Rinse! Repeat! Rinse! Repeat! and Add More Suds from time to time.
The Joker To-Do List is starting to have a lot of Tasks with Ticks beside them...
- Write Obituary. Done
- Don't Wake Up Dead. Done
- Eyes Wide Open. Done
- Have More Happy Accidents. Work in Progress...
And you think you have problems, this 'pair' have to look the word up in a dictionary, well they would if they had one, Garvin Google's it, to check if they have any, 'problems' that is! Garvin Likens himself to Captain Kirk and his everyday fictional problems, apart from the fact he has no ship, no crew and no clue, these are just small stumbling blocks he is willing to overlook on his journey to conquer, sorry explore his universe. Aliens Beware! Garvin is now truly out of space dock and looking under rocks for "Some Thing", Treasure perhaps, or just a hint of a clue as to what he should be doing next. George picks up a Strange Looking Rock with the initials "S E P" written in Big Bold Letters on it, he looks bemused and ponders to himself what they might stand for? He hears a Big Shout Out from Garvin, Quick! Put that Feckn back where you found it, That's "Someone Else's Problem"! Suddenly two eyes open on the once seeming lifeless rock and it smiles up at George, He Hears Garvin Under his Breadth muttering, "Well Now you have gone and done it! Now its Your Problem". Now, what are we going to do? Says George with a confused look on his face. We? What's this We? "Now Your Problem Starts Here", Garvin Says while jogging off in the direction of the Sunset, Let me know How you Get on? are the last words George can hear clearly as Garvin Cant be seen for the Dust Cloud he has left behind... George Looks around, he can't see anyone anywhere, he looks down into his hands at The Problem at hand so to say, He Reads the Letters again on the Rock "SEP", He shrugs his shoulders and puts it back where he found it, the little eyes and smile on it disappear instantly, everything is as it was, except for the fact Garvin can't be found for "Love Nor Money?", Well, he could be found for both but it seems they weren't on offer, "Once Bitten Twice Shy!" came to Georges Mind as he walked off in the Sunset following Garvin's Foot Steps to the Horizon... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
The Jokers have reached A New Milestone, Sure How Far is that, it turns out it is 24 Episodes Long or 2 kilometres or 5 metric tonnes depending on the day of the week and who is talking to who about what!. Garvin doesn't like format and structure, he just wants to say whatever comes to mind, whether or not it has value that's a whole different ask. The Lads are questioning if it is worth the hassle, Garvin's own Daughter says its shite and she's off. We are looking forward to the Naysayer Audience as they are quite vocal in their dislikes and comments, which the social media algorithms really like to spread your content far and wide. George points out that they dont need to worry about the audience, if we build it, they will come to our Field of Dreams. The Fog is starting to Lift, hopefully the Zombies aren't in there. They are looking for a Pub to have a conversation, they will need some extra seats for the friends they haven't met yet, while they wait for the guest listeners they mull over Garvin Reading List, 5 Books in his life to date, well his new joker persona life to date that is. The Lads are past the point of no return, the magic number 7 is well in the rear view mirror, they are 24 in and laying the foundations in the Field of Dreams, Build the Can and they can Kick it, the proverbial "They" being the elusive listener, they will seek him her or they wherever they may be and force them to listen if they have to. The Joker are happy to be their own audience, they just need to clone themselves a few million times, that seems to be an easier ask than actually finding a real audience. Following the Process is No Guarantee of Results, they are ABC'ing and 123'ing Influencers advice left right and center, but they seem to be operating in a vacuum or a parallel universe of some sort as 6 billion People have decided to totally ignore all of their frantic efforts. You need to be unique and believe in yourselves, They both look in the mirror chanting the mantra, I AM What I am, I Am unique and So am I says George.. They are now both shouting at the mirror "Just Get On With it, Apocalypse or No!! #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
Garvin's memory is not the best, he Can't Remember what he had for breakfast at the best of times, so the last 30 years are a blur he wouldn't recognise if he was watching it in the cinema. He decided to do some research for the show, he was frightened how real it turned, it is not War of the Worlds, just a UFO Flyby, George says they were looking for someone to experiment on, Garvin says he is up for it, they can probe away all they like it will be a welcome change from the norm. The Jokers compare the old to the new releases, Tom Cruise or Boston Scientific , basically are they low or large budget aliens, can Garvin Kick the Robots Ass or it is Smoothie Time for Aliens? The Lads consider whether or not they should heed the warning signs and stock up on toilet paper and start building their bunkers for the apocalypse. If you are going to be Shitting yourself you need the 300 Rolls of Andrex Triple Ply Embossed which is now top of their Global Catastrophe Go To Shopping List. Garvin is looking forward to the Alien Encounter, George is in the Twilight Zone or was it his Twilight Years? Are they Here or Are they on the way, are we food, fuel or labour? Will they be environmentally friendly? Are they back for the recurring Seeding Event every 10000 years or so, now past due? Don't worry about the Meteor, Worry about the Sun Flare that is way past due, it will be sure to throw us back to the dark ages with no electricity if it doesn't set off the Nuclear Winter first, Either Way you can forget about your 5G, you will have Feck all use for your mobile phone and computers then other than to throw them at the vermin. Society will have broken down in weeks when we cant update our Instagram and Tik Toks. George tells Garvin to stop watching TV, he is panicking himself setting his chatterbox into overdrive. His Frame of reference is in the billions of years as opposed to the next few days. The Jokers decide to work backward from most likely global catastrophe so they can determine what it is they should be worried about in what order. Garvin's money is now on the Triptych Apocalypse Wipe-out of AI Alien Tech with a Biological Element, could be a Quadruple if the Alien Arrives on a Meteor, Cupid if it happens during a Solar Event. They nearly forgot about the Volcanoes Yogi Bears Jelly Stone Caldera Surprise and how could we forget the Zombies? They guys extrapolate further their thesis that they are the ultimate Sims or rather AI Bots in an Alien Cosmic Game. They have to be the Bots because who seriously would be playing their Avatars considering how mundane their existence has been to date in the Game of Life so to say! Garvin now has so much more to worry about, his career and what he plans to do with pales into insignificance. George and his wife want to move to Ground Zero, Garvin would rather be in Control or be the King of the New Castle in a Mad Max after Thunder Dome post apocalyptic Ireland. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
We are all Talking Heads.... What the Feck? ..What the Heck? George thinks Garvin is a Garden, probably an unkempt one. He thinks he is a clueless talking head, he doesn't know what the Hell is going on, he would rather it be that heaven is going on, ie all the Good Things and none of the bad but that's probably too much to expect. They are both looking in the mirror now shouting at it, What the Heck are you doing with your life, this is it, its your fault, wake up, Get on with it. The 18 year old are looking out from the mirrors in disbelief of what the old jokers have done with their body. The inner child wants back out and into the driving seat of the now run down body to re energise it to go disco dancing again without breaking a hip or indeed a sweat. The Proverbial Red Lamborghini is parked in the drive or more precisely wrapped around the bins. Its hard to change, its Hard to Ruffle your own feathers, but you have to if ya want to be a peacock again or for the first time even. Garvin's inner child says stuff your milk and pass me the red bull and car keys its time to take some chances before there isn't anytime left, move over and let me in the driving seat, you have had your turn and made a mess of it, we aren't where we are meant to be and that's the Royal We. The Chitter Chatter Box is still muttering away in the room in your mind, However there's a new sign on the door "Keep Out Reasons the Why Not!". There's now a Bouncer on the Door, if you are not positive "Feck Off". The Two Jokers are pushing their inner children forward with affirmations left right and center, telling them both with Gusto - "Keep Going!" ,"Keep Doing!", "Don't Look Back!", "For God's Sake Don't Look Down, Don't Think, Just Do it!", "It will all be alright on the night lads Just Turn Up and keep smiling, keep moving and most of all Remember to Breathe! George looks around to Garvin who seems to be shouting tirades at the mirror now, something along the lines of "What the Hell do I care if you want a Cream Bun, Just go get one!", he then swiftly turns around and heads for the shops with a confident and purposeful stride and smile on his face, George shouts out "Hang On a Second while I grab my Coat I fancy one too!!". The Lads seem to have their own theme tunes, Like a Bat Out of a Hell! These two nutters are Out of Here...To Do whatever needs doing..in the meantime they are going to grab a couple of donuts at crusty cremes. Talking Heads is Garvin's Theme Tune..Not so much Psycho Killer, he is on the Road to No Where or more to point Some Where, he doesn't care where but he wants to get a gang together be it Hells Angels or a Bunch of Jokers with or without Harley's. George wants to meet new people, There's an App for that according to Garvin, Just Swipe Left or Right...George ponders whether it is appropriate to download or not. Don't ask anyone in Garvin House if they would like some vegetables or fancy a trip to the shops, you have to just state the affirmative "Here You Are!" or "Come on We are off!" otherwise there will be a lot of Hmmms and No Not for me or wooohoooo's!! Choice is not always a Good Thing for the indecisive pessimists among us. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
Garvin is falling off the weighing scales, he has lost his balance, he decides to go back to bad as there's 26 years of sleep he can access, he might need a new mattress but he can't balance his cheque book so that's not on the cards at the minute, maybe if he starts juggling balls he might earn a few quid to pay for the new bed. George says he doesn't need sleep anymore as he enjoys his work so much, so he is going to keep burning the midnight oil until the early hours to make up for the times he wasn't so happy with his work. George can't see Garvin but he can hear him giving out about "Too Many Balls so Little Time", he looks up only to see Garvin juggling what seems to be Cannon Balls while traversing a Ravine on a Tight Rope, Garvin Spots George and screams at him to stop gawking at him and for god sake tighten the rope and if he can get his arse in gear go find him a net, He drops one of the Balls , it lands precariously beside George, written on its side in Large Red Letters is "PATIENCE", Garvin doesn't seem to have any more and screams at him to get a move on. Step Back Say No Let that bit wait, Lets do what we can do not what we cant, Garvin puts all the balls down, he starts shouting at anyone and everyone that he is not a Juggler, he is a Joker!! Garvin seems to be picking up hot potatoes now, George mutters to himself - "Here we go again", only to quickly duck as half a dozen steaming potatoes go flying by his head, Garvin shouts out, "Its OK they're not mine!.... George is competent and Conscious of it, Garvin is consciously incompetent and unashamedly proud of it or maybe he is unconsciously ashamed, anyway he is going to poll his subscribers to see what they think, luckily enough he is most of them the results should skew favorably to his mood on the day. The Jokers have decided to enter the race, they meant the human race but ended up in the rat race by mistake, they are still running scared. George is recounting the story of the tortoise and the Hare, Garvin remembers fondly the days before comb overs and resigning to the present sad state of his evident Baldness. He over exerted himself running he exclaims as He Limps off to the Gym to dance to the tunes of the seventies on the Wii, his daughter calls it exercise he calls it nostalgia. George realises trying to relive the past is not as good as everyone thinks it is, nostalgia is grand but time belongs where it is in the past for the then you, the present you has enough going on to be without day dreaming about bygone times and how great they seemed. Garvin tells his daughter college is not all its cracked up to be as she will be bringing her bills and household chores drudgery with her as a parting gift. George dreams of riding his old Cowasaki, Garvin mentions that the milk quota for the day is going to be out of balance as they got hit by lightning so enjoy the now and enjoy the cow. The Lads chat about Birth Days and Death Days and all the life in between, agreeing that it is important to remember to play badminton, plant potatoes and play with kittens, this will help align your chakras whatever they are. They seem to be walking taller or maybe its just more balanced, they are talking about Ripples and how those around them seem to be more aligned to their way of thinking all of a sudden, maybe they are onto something... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
How do we define happiness? Is it a state of mind or a place in time? Is it Heaven? Heaven is a place on Earth. Turns out its the Local Pub by the sounds of it. Your Local Bar Man may not be Ted Danson, but as long as he is plying you with drinks you should be happy. Are we happy, Garvin wants to be in a continual state of happiness, George needs to define what makes him happy, being in the moment the now..he likes to ride the wave of emotion, he is happy when he is up and sad when he is down. George wants to set fire to things, he calls it spreading the joy, the insurance companies and fire services won't see it that way, but as long as George is happy burning things thats ok. Will Garvin explode with happiness before he is content, George wants Garvin to share so they can both be happyish. Garvin thinks if everybody is happy society will fall apart and he will be the next in the firing line just like in star trek, his place is to be the unknown crew member with a predestined short appearance. George points out to Garvin if he Listens he might Hear Something and Learn Something. Perception of Greener Fields is in a lot of cases an illusion, Be happy in your skin as someone elses might be a lot more uncomfortable than it looks at first glance. George says Material things aren't as Real as some immaterial things such as Relationships. Garvin's Daughter found his childhood things or Treasure, now the family are armed to the teeth so intruders beware if you go calling to the Burke House Hold. Happiness is not a Cake to Slice up and Share, it is not that easy to solve others problems, but slice up some of your time to lend a listening ear. Garvin loves to try to solve other people's problems without the facts, it makes for easier thinking on his part. Complexity is not that simple so he tries to steer clear of that, after all its not his problem and if he starts helping out it might just end up being his, better to wallow in his own happiness and problems that might bring or he may already have and be blissfully unaware of, ah ignorance is true bliss. You have to Protect yourself from Other Peoples Problems, however wouldn't it be great to go Kick Ass for a time, be a Knight in shining Armour and rescue family and friends out of the mire of their personal problems and unwanted unhappiness. Garvin wants them to get their dancing shoes on and join him on his personal crusade along the yellow brick road to their joint Oz's. Out of Sight out of mind and you don't have to buy them a pint, until they turn back up again 10 years later, the three dancing divas of 1985 are now all married with children but still looking for the Disco of Happiness. The Lads see tragedy as a gentle reminder of their mortality, so they need to be making hay while the sun shines or more to the point while they are still breathing as it is only a matter of time before the game is up, they are throwing dice like there is no tomorrow and one day they will be right. If Garvin is Happy everyone else must be, His Life and Wife is sitting in the other room watching Netflix, he needs to make sure everyone else is happy also. The Lads would love to more time, they have been borrowing it, moving it around, using it up but there just doesn't seem to be enough of it, they think wouldn't it be great to make it, who knew it was the one product they can't seem to find the raw materials for on the open market. They decide to call it a day, we see them walking off into the distance singing a little ditty "Don't Worry Be Happy". #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
Gargantuan Gargoyle Garvin, aka Garvin Electric.... aka Herman Monster, a Big Looming Gothic Character. The Boys wonder if Frankenstein's Monster came with a Guarantee for Parts and Labour, it just would not be tolerated these days, an ISO 9000 Standard and a Money Back Guarantee to booth is now the minimum standard requirement to raise any eyebrows let alone the Dead. George has Rats with Wings in his log cabin he calls them Pigeons, he isn't fooling anybody as we all know Rats with Wings are Bats so says Garvin. Ssshh!! If you stay quiet enough you can hear the House breathe, Was that a Fart? and if you wait long enough it might even talk, best to turn up the radio volume or nobody will be getting any sleep again without an Exorcism being performed nightly. It is in the Irish DNA, the Barbarian has resurfaced, it is 6 Foot 6 Garvin and Family. Who Knew that "The Giant Within" that he is trying to Awaken was a Leprechaun with attitude, George believes in Dragons, Monsters, Demons even, The Villains of any story. Garvin doesn't want to talk History or World Politics that's way too scary for him, he would rather stick to spiders and the Villain Within that's stoking the Fire beneath his Inner Fear to Try new things. The Demon within is the Set of Monster Tasks that can get very frightening all of a sudden, in particular, that social media realm that's full of all sorts of monsters and mayhem at the best of times, Trolls and Geeks n Freaks waiting for the feeding frenzy that is new unsuspecting social media virgins such as the jokers. George is chucking out random monsters now, witches and warlocks, what about Bell Book and Knoll, Garvin takes the Bate and compares white witches to his wife's kinesiology sessions. Reiki, Chakras et al, the lads are comparing their Aura's now, George is trying to tune into the right Frequency, he seems to be using his quartz watch for more than telling the time, What hope has Garvin got as he doesn't have a watch as the Time is always now and that is good enough for him, he will hot wire his frequency later when he has the time, which will also be Now Then. Garvin is scared of Horror Movies and anything else that goes bump in the night, he has a very active imagination but that is not helped with George pointing out that you don't have to imagine when what is in front of you is Real Engine PS5, We are now desensitised that decapitations are par for the course in modern gameplay. Garvin wants to be able to give out to his son about playing too many online games, but the fecker got 10 straight A's in his Exams, so he is not even able to Give out to Him and use it as a threat in the future for Study Purposes, he hasn't tested his empathy quota lately and so doesn't know if he is as Squeamish as his dad when choosing movies to watch. Garvin suddenly gets a come to Jesus moment and realises he is jealous that he can't play or Can he? Just need to buy another Remote! Garvin doesn't want to go out at the best of times, he is afraid of being cloned, stalked, hacked, robbed and that's before he leaves the house. What other madness could befall him if he went down the road to the shops? Skynet has made a Sim out of Garvin, Who knew he was so predictable considering he keeps stressing he is not a number, turns out he is a constant stream of ones and zeros that seem to have a personality with a better dating history than him. Garvin is Burning his money, he says its all about Barter, you can stuff your bitcoin, what use is that going to be when the Electric is cut off, its back to the Stone Age for the Jokers, they want to Kill all Monsters Real and Imaginary. The Lads agree that all Monsters need a name so they can kill it, there's a bunch of freaky looking characters in the bushes nearby looking worried, they all agree to stay in the shadows and remain nameless, its safer for all concerned... #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
It's weird every day for the Jokers, they don't know what normal is anymore and that's what they like. George looks out the window only to observe Birds playing poker and drinking whiskey, they look up and throw him a courteous Tweet! Tweet!. Garvin Does the Chloe Ting work out for the Tenth time that month and pulls his belt in another notch, he is looking good if he doesn't say so himself. He is holding a Tick List as long his arm of "Things to do" and wonders most what the weirdest one could be..Somewhere in the background George is tinkling the ivories to the tune of the 1967 Dusty Springfield Casino Royal James Bond theme tune, only to be reminded that 1967 was the year that was most important for another reason being the Birth of the Joker #1. Garvin is listening to himself on the podcast again, this time wrapped in a blanket being mindful he calls it..His wife takes one look mumbling "Weirdo" under her breadth among other more profane mutterings. Exercising Daily and Eating Healthy, These are Strange Times indeed for Garvin...Its Time to take care of Business, Queue Here in an Orderly Fashion, Family, Friends and the Rest. George is Open to all possibilities, His Two Favourite Teams are playing again, Certainty versus Uncertainty today's score is 0 to 1. He likes to be Fashionably Late to ensure being on time as most of the time everybody he knows usually turns up late, Garvin says they should just agree the later time and life would be much simpler. Garvin asks George what are you possibly writing about in the "Morning Pages" as you seem to be producing Volumes willy nilly. Garvin points out that he is writing directly to the Universe and strange as it sounds it is answering back. Projects previously put on the long finder are bubbling back up into the List of Things to do soon as reprioritised by the Universe. Water Water Everywhere and not a drop to drink, Follow the "Signs" George Says. Garvin is looking at himself on camera and fondly remembering the good old bad hair days of Mohican straightening and smudged Eyeliner..Ah they were the days! They agree to disagree that chats should be like Lip Sync Battles, Conversations being Battles of Will, Garvin has no idea what George is saying anyway until he listens to the podcasts weeks later. They both agree the Cat is way Out of the Box now, as they see it heading off at speed in the distance, it Meowing something along the lines of I better do something productive with my time, I only have Feckn 8 lives left now. #SelfCoaching #BusinessCoaching #MediaCoaching
Afraid of the Dark? Just venturing outside can be a daunting task at times for some people. Don't Hold your breath anytime soon, if you expect to find a Joker out after dark near a graveyard looking for directions, as you will be waiting a long time, a "Month of Sundays" and when "Hell Freezes Over" spring quickly to mind. Don't mistake Courage for plain stupidity and not knowing any better, they are not the bravest of individuals. The Jokers highlight the fact that they probably would never start most things for fear of stage fright, it's only by being put on the spot of having no choice, gives them the push to just get on with it, sure what's the worst that could happen, "Don't Get me Started on that one!!!". The jokers have taken control of the proverbial steering wheel and are now driving menacingly through their fears, Social Media Pedestrians are like dumbstruck bunnies in their headlights and are now a little fearful and frazzled by what might be hurtling down the line at them as a result of this newfound bravery on the jokers part. They are normally their own worst critics, Garvin likes to shoot the Horse he rode in on, so there's no going back, George prefers to have a spare on hand just in case they need to make a quick getaway. Garvin is particularly afraid of the Unknown Unknowns, potential taunts from people he has never met about something he has yet to do, the cowardly lion has nothing on this joker. The lads have decided it is better to do something, anything is better than nothing. They don't feel brave or courageous, maybe just a little less fearful than they usually are as they realise they are the experts on being themselves, so how can they fail they already have that one in the Bag. They are setting their expectations low and realistic, so if they just get out of bed and turn up they are halfway there. The last time Garvin did that he met his future wife and continuously reminds her twenty years on that he is still on the rebound. He would be a Force to reckon with if he actually knew what he was doing. George says he is off to his favourite "Captured", sorry "Captive" Audience to play his fiddle while Rome burns...
The Jokers feel like crash test dummies hitting their heads off dead-end walls in their respective journeys to date, sometimes without a seatbelt. They don't mind being the dumbest person in the room, not hard for Garvin as he is a natural at it, he just doesn't know that he owns that title hands down, someone needs to tell him but it is extremely difficult to shut him up long enough for it to register. For someone with no opinion, he seems to have a lot to say admittedly not about the subject at hand. The lads are wondering what they could possibly have to offer a podcast audience, why should they even bother trying, they are literally clueless, "dumb and dumber" even, they argue over who is which. They realise they are the experts on being themselves, they have that market cornered, they just need to find half a million doppelgangers' who will get it. The lads decide to go on a speed date with the social media communities, they are buffering like lunatics until they get their mojo in gear, there are "interestingly"s and "actually"s flying off the cuffs every five minutes until they arrive at their train of thought which is still on a single circular piece of track, it's time to pimp up their ride and go off-road in a monster truck, they are going all-in even if they have no chips to play with. Garvin is trying to dumb himself down so he can listen more and people can understand him better, he has to get back from four dimensions to two so people on this planet can half fathom what it is he seems very passionate about, turns out there's a lot of a hullaballoo about crows and bats and lycra suits being important if you want to make stupid millions. For some reason George keeps shouting at him to Just Play Dumb, so does that mean George is Dumber, we will just never know...
It doesn't take much to set Garvin Off on One as he says himself, he may only have one life but just like Trigger from Only Fools and Horses, he has had a lot of different heads on his proverbial shoulders. Both Jokers are reading up on Karl Jung even though Garvin doesn't realise it as he is doing it by Osmosis, turns out he favours all 3 triggers mentioned by George, Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic, basically anything he sees, hears or feels will lead to a knee jerk reaction or good old rant-n-rave. George introduces a Lobster into the mix, Garvin starts humming a tune by the B52s from the mid 80's while looking through his piggy bank to see if he can swap the yellow pack cornflakes for something Red and Menacing with beady eyes and a particular dislike for Determinism theory while resident in a restaurant fish tank. Posh Spice has nothing on Posh George when it comes to Pub Quiz's, he literally hears voices that feed him the correct answers, to anyone else that would be worrying but it is par for the course for a joker on a night out with the Universe as your tablemate. The Jokers compare student jobs, George was a Beater for the Lords and Ladies, Garvin a run-of-the-mill lounge boy, who would know feudal times would be so cool. They rationalise the need for an AK47 and T34 Tank to be better prepared against any pheasants lurking in the unbeaten bushes of social media land, suffice to say they need more bullets (podcasts) if they are to hit home with their seemingly aimless marketing goals, they have their head in the Game, it's time to Level Up, they are swapping the proverbial pea shooter for a Gatling Gun (Lobsters, Pheasants et al beware)...
The lads starting being Frank with each other, this gets confusing very quickly, so Garvin opts to be Ted from Bill and Ted. Quantum theory decides to rear its ugly head again when it hears Garvin is more open than usual to trying new things, so before he changes his mind it presents itself for consideration reminding him that he doesn't need to understand it or give a master class in it anytime soon, just give it some well-deserved airtime. The fundamental interconnectedness of all things decides it is not going to be left on the shelf and joins the dots between a glass of water and seeing dead people when neither of the jokers were paying attention, all of a sudden its ESP time and Quantum theory is back in play, Einstein and his Theory of Relativity is out the window and the Power to Dream is the shortest distance between two locations and the Non-Locality Principle is a doddle if you just sleep on it or have a Voodoo Doll to hand. George reminds us if you are not open you can't see, Garvin looks bewildered as he thinks George is stating the obvious, sure, of course, you can't see if your eyes are closed, you might be asleep travelling the universe via your third eye, your mind's eye, it saves on time and bus fare. Negative is important if atoms are to be stable, people are just a bunch of atoms so they need to be negative also to be stable it seems, just not all the Feck'n time and do we have to listen to the constant complaining, No wonder Electrons find it difficult to make friends. All this Openness can be quite demanding, so they apply their newly adopted subtle art of not giving a Fxxk! about what the crazymakers think, to all that they do in order to be able better prioritise and schedule their limited time to go crazy themselves, get a little insane in the membrane to find the sane within the crazy to get off the road to nowhere and onto the road to somewhere. They are Open to being Human or Just Humans Being, They will not discriminate against any other Beings Being, it's a free universe after all...
Garvin is determined to hear his own thoughts, all the while his bald head is being nuked by the baking summer rays, suddenly he hears a tiny voice from within crying out "Get Out of the Feckn Sun Would ya!". George points out that Super Heroes have it good and the rest of us can eat, work, sleep and just get on with it, as it will all turn out the same anyway. Garvin is nearly certain he knew what he was talking about but now he is not so sure, but he is determined to find out this instant. Turns out Quantum Theory contains all the answers, it seems Determinism and The Uncertainty Principle are at loggerheads but Death and Taxes seem to be a given, depending of course on your social background where the latter at least may be avoided with good planning. Synchronicity is kicking back in again, the lads are not just talking the same talk, walking the same walk, they are now dressing the same. Garvin is not happy as he had both Fat Man and Dead Man Shirts to pick from but probability theory helped uncertainty out in the dressing room and chose the one with the nice pattern, George just stuck his hand in the wardrobe without consulting anyone and bagged the winner. The Jokers discuss Determinism further and conclude that they are both certain they were born, they had a mother, that she was related to her own grandmother and they both were themselves when they last looked in the mirror, but they aren't sure if the person looking back was who it was meant to be in life. Garvin is doodling on the back of a matchbook, if you look closely he has put a bold line through E=MC squared and is busy scribbling something about the shortest distance between two points in space is a zero as you are already there you just haven't remembered yet. George is sure that Christ was a crew member on the starship enterprise and was just on a series of away missions exploring time travel, all the while moving between modern-day New York and a number of locked rooms in early Christian times. This seems to coincide with the founding of ESP and the earliest examples of the Non-Locality Principle. Garvin points out to George that while physicists were trying to quantify the unknown with some level of certainty, they probably proved beyond unreasonable doubt that there is certainly a lot more that they don't know, however that doesn't matter as they are sure that can be ignored if they create a new symbol for it, Let's just call it the "Grand Observer Dilemma" for the moment...
George is playing with candles, there's wax all over the place, Garvin can't see properly in this light, he is not sure whether it is fifty shades of grey or green, either way, it's too dark, there's too little light and he is fed up living in his own shadow, how can he ever hope to become a shadow of his former self if he never turned the light on. George keeps saying that he is more than capable and that people need to accept that, Garvin reminds him to hold his candle higher, maybe above his head and then people will be able to see for themselves. He holds up two costumes to George and asks him which one should he wear "Batman" or "Ninja Turtle", as its time they step out of the shadows. The Crazy Makers are no longer making house calls, so the guys decide to help themselves by helping others, Garvin still enjoys keeping Georges Ego in check though when it comes to Fiddle Playing. Anywhere they encounter negativity they will try to give it a positive spin, Garvin is lingering too long on page three again, George is happy to listen to his student if only Garvin would stop quoting Chopra in response to any question asked. To anyone looking on, they would see two middle-aged men taking baby steps while shining a torch into the darkness in front of them, one telling the other not to forget to Shut the Door behind, he is giving a shove for his insolence, they look up and notice a sea of confused faces waiting for something, they look at each other shrug their shoulders and step onto the Stage...
The Jokers are discussing their various tells which are multiplying by the minute from like to sort of and interestingly from actually to going and then in combination particularly sort of like actually. Actually the Surprising Truth is wrapped up in the word is "To Act" or to make Real by Doing, All this time their favourite go-to word was telling them to Stop Talking and Just Go Do it. They have both arrived at the Ah Hah moment of Knowing is not Doing, they need to stop questioning and start acting, well not acting that's pretending but rather acting on and thus doing and then do again. Garvin likes his own company, however, George points out that one is a very lonely number, a shared experience makes for a better journey, Thelma and Louise aside. Garvin tells his wife the thing he likes doing most is nothing and he is particularly good at it, if he doesn't say so himself. He is very very happy doing it, she should try it sometime and points out his podcast that affirms to him that it's ok to do nothing, she points out that it is himself on the podcast but takes his point. His poor daughter gets a lecture on motivational journeys by inadvertently enquiring as to his preference for a tea or coffee with his lunch. The Family agree to put a Do Not Disturb sign on the Studio Door or Suffer a cascade of mad-eyed motivational babble at your peril. George has got his tools out and is disassembling his chatterbox, the milky way fell out of one unfolded side, highlighting a bunch of mirrors in the process, Garvin has no clue what is going on but assures him that he should be able to squeeze it back in again and tie it off with a bit of Duck Tape, no one will notice so not to worry. George has just become a granddad for the first time, Garvin says to enjoy it while it lasts as time is fleeting and there's potentially and extinction-level event on the horizon in give or take 10 to 10000 years time, it's all relative and just a matter of perspective. George leaves Garvin on a Rant about he is growing everywhere but where he wants to, Balder, Fatter, Uglier, Older just not wiser. He finishes on the fact he actually has a lot more to give and his genie is free and passing out loaves and fishes to anyone that wants one. George is complaining about being on the road to nowhere or Hornsby railway track to be more precise, the irony is no longer lost on him that it's a single circular track and you need to go off road if you want to end up somewhere different. The Jokers agree every chapter has a beginning, middle and end, that they need to keep writing the story, the never-ending story until it arrives at its natural end in Rome, no point in grieving every chapter, George likes to however Garvin is happy to shoot the horse he rode in on sometimes so there's no going back. It is actually time to let them go, the podcasts, the chapters to have their own lives and journeys to make new friends and influence people to become real...
Garvin exclaims to anyone that will listen "I Am Not A Number!", However if he was one it would be Forty Two, at the point of saying this he was actually Fifty Two, so he really just wants to be ten years younger sure who wouldn't want that! At times he compares his life to a pack of playing cards and for some reason or other he was a Three of Clubs. He is no longer happy playing with the cards he was dealt and for the rest of his life he wants a Stacked Deck with 52 Jokers in the Pack, He Wants to be a Joker - Does He Know Something We Don't? What Card Are You? George avoids getting into Lifts for Fear of being Fired by Some Suits or was it by someone not wearing one? Either way he is taking the stairs. Sure there were no Lifts in feudal times anyway, he doesn't like playing with two year olds toys, he would rather throw them out of his pram. What chance do you have in life if you are dealt a pair of deuces? George is Card Counting and happy to stay at the table and roll the proverbial dice, doesn't really matter as Garvin goes ALL IN, muttering something about a load of Jokers in the pack. Garvin states "I am exactly where I need to be", thanking the universe for bringing him to this point, not before time though, highlighting the fact that if he knew what he was looking for in the first place he wouldn't necessarily have found it any earlier sure Bono still doesn't know what he is looking for! The Boys are not hanging around any longer than they have to anymore, if the door is half a jar, they will kick it in, take a peak inside see if they can upset the status quo, you've heard of a wolf in sheeps clothing, well these are a pair of jokers in suits with a fist full of positive attitude looking to play Rhinos in a China Shop and Go Disrupt themselves and anything that gets in their way, Resistance is Futile to say the least, this is your first taste of their new normal until their number is up...
Garvin has become very naughty and saucy all of a sudden, he wants George to call him "Captain", Captain Kirk to be more precise, George tells him in no uncertain terms to go grow a pair, Garvin takes out his mobile, calls the wife and asks if she could rummage in her handbag and possibly give him his Liathroidi back. George starts to reminisce about his rights of passage to become a man in the good old feudal times, Garvin is having none of it, he has his washing with him and is heading to his mother's house while he figures out what the next course of action should be. He decides it's time to leave space dock, George can come along for the ride as long as he is happy to volunteer to be the extra crew member on any away mission involving Klingons. They both agree it's good to rebel particularly against yourself, it seems you can have your cake and eat it as long as it's not made of potatoes, as there seems to be a shortage of them particularly in Cornwall. They chat for a while about thirsty horses and how unmotivated they are to drink anything these days. Garvin looks in the mirror quickly realising he needs to consult in "Quiff & Co" if anybody is going to take him seriously as the Bold and Audacious Captain Kirk. George gets up and boldly walks out the door saying as he leaves something about "He has given himself permission to reinstate feudal times", it makes him happy. In the Alley, the two joker voices can be heard arguing to the tune of "I Know it's only a Leap of Faith but You Jump First!", "No, You!!"
Garvin is fed up listening to himself, there seems to be a gaggle of monkeys chin-wagging in his mind, he could swear they are asking him to throw bananas at them, he decides to open the cage and kick them out with or without permission as he has a 500 lb Gorilla that wants a new home. He is currently in his other half's bad books after informing her to make the drudgery less painful she should sign up to the jokers' podcast, George keeps telling Garvin to Breathe or is it take a breadth translated further as let him have a turn to speak for a change. George is shredding paper left to right and centre, all the while shouting "Get Out of My Head" at the bits n pieces, he starts to pick them up and put them into piles and is now trying to weigh them. They both look blank now and start to look observantly around to see what actually needs doing, Garvin picks up a bunch of bananas, he has a Gorilla to feed, after all, George starts to chant "Sharing is Caring" to anyone that will listen. Garvin is now speaking in tongues rough translation is that he wants to go to the toilet, George tells him to sit back down and finish his Pint. The Jokers seem to be looking at two pills on the table, one says "Stay" the other "Go" the container they came out of has "Be Happy" in Large Bolded Letters on the side. Garvin is confused as the instructions on the other side read "You Must Comply! You Must Comply!. They both take the Green Pill marked "Go", They put their empty pint glasses down and start looking for a ladder each, George finds a step ladder, Garvin a Fireman's, they walk outside to find a wall to lean them on. In the background, there's a bunch of monkeys chatting about the price of bananas and how difficult it is to find a decent cage in today's mindfulness cluttered marketplace...
George wonders if the universe is conscious, Garvin can't even understand the question, Scientists want to measure or quantify the Here, the There and Everywhere else for that matter. That includes the Table which seems to be comprised of stars and isn't particularly happy with its current lot in life, as it would rather identify as a cat albeit not one locked in the box currently on this table which is being observed by a curious Mister Schrödinger who is getting a little perplexed with the barking noises now coming from the box. Garvin is watching sesame street and his head starts to hurt when he hears that today's number is PHI or 1.6 to infinity plus one. There's a Storm coming and the Dorothy inside his mind starts lacing up her 18-hole Ruby Doctor Marten Boots, George passes him his camera lens which he seems to think will have something to say when it is reborn from the universal subconscious at a later date. Its thirsty work seeding planets, George passes Garvin a Glass of water which is teeming with broken DNA strands all wanting to join hands and create life, who knew it would be that easy. Basic maths was hard enough, Infinity is less than infinity plus one, if we take one infinity away from the other we are left with 1, so Garvin decides to round both infinities down to zero as any number less than infinity is immaterial and closer to nothing than something, so we can now happily ignore the universe, it either exists or it doesn't so that's its consciousness sorted, turns out it was unconscious when Garvin decided to observe and try to measure it. The Scarlet Pimpernel AI Program has become self-aware while trying to measure the PHI Score of the now insignificant universe, It reports to anyone willing to listen to it that "Infinity is just a Sum of all the One's" and that the Plus One to the Party or the non RSVP'd Guest is the External Observer who wants to maintain its anonymity, but feel free to start the party without her...
George! Could you tell the universe to shut that door, we are trying our damnest to record in here. It ignores them both and cuts the internet off, so much for their well-laid plans, sometimes you just got to wing it. George mentions every time he puts something down it seems to disappear into an alternate reality but then materialises again before he can say poltergeist. There's definitely something up with the framework. Without Ying where would Yang be, probably turning on and off the proverbial light switch, it seems it doesn't elicit the same level of awe and wonder it used to, better get the 5G Fibre in if we are to get any response from the kids these days. Who would have known the Adam and Eve had an expiration date that would ultimately lead to the invention of commercialism. Now everybody has to pay the price, even the Ferry Man needs a bribe and he now takes bitcoin. Garvin is writing it into his will that there shall be dancing and merriment going forth, it shall include the making of a boutique batch of craft cider which is to be named after him, "Past Expiry" no doubt. Wondering where we go when we are dead, he has posted "No Loitering" notices all around his house to ensure a good night's sleep for the living. Anyone looking in the window might spot him wandering the corridors making strange noises like some deranged. The lads have stopped trying to dig themselves out of a hole, so just climbed out and decided to build a swimming pool, they are going to Defrag themselves and reboot it seems like the more logical choice than turning it on and off again. They are off to make friends and influence both people and aliens alike, they are getting their ones and zeros lined up to make sense for the ultimate upload to the cloud, they are On (One) at the minute and until they are Off (Zero), it's improbable that you will get a straight answer out of them other than "It is Good to be On."
Garvin is fed up being a Bull Shit Artist, it's time to be the Real Deal but he is unsure of how to find his rightful tribe. He has a chat with his daughter about what she is planning to do in college, she is going to flip a coin between theoretical physics and acting, sure what's the difference in the grand scheme. George points out that The Problem with Uncertainty is that it is unknown, so you can't know what you don't know and that's for certain. It's far too early for anyone to be making life plans, we all need to explore the potentialities more. Garvin takes out his Pocket Book which exclaims to have all the answers for anyone willing to spend an hour reading it, he says he is three days in and all he has are more questions. What the heck he decides to look up Google maps, however, it seems to be having problems of its own finding the Universal Field. George says he is here not there, the system doesn't understand that he is an expert and it's not for him to educate it so. The Matrix requires that we give it our energy if our lives are to be meaningful but he is not certain of the current value on offer. Garvin is quoting Cameron and Chopra dished up in a Glorified Rant all the while professing we need to be Still, Be Quiet to truly know and be successful, George wants to know what he needs to do Now not at some future uncertain date. He asks Garvin what will make him happy? What does he actually want? I DONT KNOW! I DONT KNOW! are the only answers he knows with certainty. They both agree they need to Tune Out to Tune In, they get very spiritual realising we are just children in the universe playing with dangerous toys and we don't know where our parents are? But if we stop crying long enough and Listen past the Birds and Bees, we might hear a faint whisper from the Universe reminding us to clean up after ourselves and make sure to rewind the clocks, they keep stopping for some reason. When the Ego is Zero the Spirit is One, so says the Punk with 3.2 Kids and 1.4 Cars...
Garvin is trying to find his voice, he is not sure where he put it for the last thirty years, it is amazing what you can misplace when you're not paying attention to your surroundings. The last time he remembers having it was when he was looking down on people, from a height that is, while waiting to listen to himself talk, it was taking too long so he decided to have a conversation with himself in his mind and here we are now trying to find it again. George's child artist wants to get out, we didn't even know he was inside, it's screaming at him that "it's never too late to try new things!" , The Jokers look at their respective watches and realise it's half past fifty-two and there's no time to waste, the time is still now and it won't be that again anytime soon. Garvin shouts out "Stop Talking you yourself" and Let the Real You Out!, a Six Foot Six Avatar Pops into Existence holding a mirror exclaiming that's not me!! Well, Who is it then? The Jokers agree they need to visualise the Successful You, The Real You, not the toned down diluted version of what others expect. Systems need to be put in place so as long as no one died, you get back on the horse. Survive? Survive? No - Garvin starts shouting "Thrive! Thrive!!" , George asks "Drive" Drive Where? There's a pair of wolves that George is feeding, Garvin just wants to feed himself he is hungry for change, he is positive that its time to act. He starts mumbling something about ATOM's and gets schooled on the correct composition as opposed to his half-arsed notion. The point is to value yourself, build relationships, give willingly, and not be a taker but a little acknowledgment would be nice. Garvin is yodeling out to the universe that he wants something now that he was previously afraid to ask for, he is saying he wants "The Sale", the universe wasn't listening and turns its other ear all the while pretending not to hear him...
Listen. Garvin just read another self-help book, God help us all, we are going to have to listen to him make a dog's dinner of it, he needs all the help he can put his hands on and quick, he is running out of Now's and he still hasn't figured anything out yet. "The Power of Now" summed up in 2 words - "Just Be", He waves another one at George "The Black Belt Master Mind", he explains he doesn't even have a white belt, can he somehow just get the other belts by osmosis as learning is not his forte. The Jokers are ping-ponging different authors at each other in a battle of 3 Points, 3 Principles or 5 Big Things, forty love who knows, but one thing is for sure, they need a plan, they need to write it down, then do something about it and that does not mean sticking the list up the chimney for Santa Claus to deliver on because they will be waiting a while for that one to come to fruition. George is taking his inner child on regular artist dates now, he no longer hears the voices in his head they are now external, I hope he isn't seeing dead people, but I am happy that he now has someone else to talk to other than his inner chatterbox. The Lads have difficulty prioritising items on lists, buy the milk or change careers, they will have to get up that extra hour early in the morning to adopt "The Millionaire Mindset" or even better ask the milkman if he is looking for an Intern. They have decided to do both. George wants to talk about a Bin Full of Balls so he warns Garvin to "Shut up and Let me Talk", OK that's Garvin's words but we all know that's what he meant. The Bin is finite but also as Big as the Universe Go Figure. The Jokers realise the mistake they are making is trying too hard, Who Knew all you have to is Sleep on it, all the answers you need will be there when you wake up. Garvin then remembers that he actually works harder in his sleep than when he is awake, there just not billable hours to his annoyance. George reminds Garvin Listening involves not talking and in particular him not talking so a Good Conversation can be had by all, unfortunately, Garvin didn't hear him.
Past and Future Time in the Present. You can ask "What Time Is It?" all you like but don't expect a straight answer anytime soon from this pair of nitwits. The "Time is Now" and that's all that matters in the grand scheme of things. Depending on how your feeling it might speed up or slow down, but that's just your perception and no one else cares as they have their own problems trying to get a straight answer from the cosmos, who is not bothered explaining itself to them as it's all a matter of relativity. George keeps meddling in the past, changing causality with the "Doctor Who Effect", Editing Podcasts Willy Nilly to give himself more Air Time at an unreasonable Cost of Garvin's Show Time. If you are not sure what to do with those extra moments, Feel Free to Listen In to their Inane Ramblings about how you should be using it more wisely. Realising their proverbial sand jars are less than half full or even worse and with no major scientific breakthrough insight, they seek solace in Time Travel and how they should give it up as a bad habit to face their own mortality and stop trying to kill time, sure what did it do to them to deserve such aggressive attention anyway? Some of their favourite ways to pass the multitude of NOW's away included, "Reading and Responding to Social Media Likes and Comments", "Pondering what to do with CDs after you have scanned them?", "Questioning What is Permanent Memory if nothing is Permanent anyway?" and "If you sit very still, Did you actually move if the universe wasn't looking? They quickly move on and attempt to visualise a better Future Now, which gets confusing as George sees black and white in full colour and Garvin is Stuck on Auto Replay only then to realise there's no actual time left as they had inadvertently used it all up.
The Jokers tackle some of their innermost fears, "What can go wrong will go wrong", What the heck they go one better and invite it to go wrong. Universe Bring it On! why sweat a future something that hasn't happened and statistically never will. Easy to Say not so easy to do for the Eternal Pessimistic Optimists among us. Hitch a ride with a Bear with a positive attitude going on a journey of self-fulfillment, Kidnapping, Drinking, and Driving with a penchant for buying lottery tickets. Realising Money can't buy Time, they set their sights on happiness even though they are unsure what it looks like, they buy a ticket in the lottery that is the Game of life and are now in with a chance of winning. In Order to Gain, they need to journey through the Pain of Push Back and Fear of the Unknown even worse the Fear of actually getting what they want, and the new set of problems that entails the caveat being "Careful What You Wish For". Their Fear Gambit ranges from PC Hacking, Technophobia, and potentially Rejection of being unloved by an as of yet unknown audience. They just want a simple life to be happy in their own skin or if needs be a Bear Skin Rug. The Fear of not doing something is now starting to outweigh the fear of doing it, they are no longer afraid to step out of the shadows and into the light. They are happy to talk proverbial shite to each other, the universe can listen in if it likes.