Family Matters: Recent Episodes
Focus on the Family Africa
Family Matters is a 5 minute programme offering practical advice from Focus on the Family. Receive a daily dose of encouragement and advice for the family with keys to stronger marriages, effective parenting, deeper relationships and a more satisfying lifestyle.
The daunting task of breaking the news to your kids about your spouse’s affair is not one any parent wants to face. When the affair your spouse has engaged in is with someone of the same sex, your conversation with the kids gets even more difficult.
There is definitely no easy way to go about dating again as a single mom after a divorce. If your child has been separated from a parent and is now being introduced to your new potential partners, this can be extremely scary for them and you can be sure to meet with some adverse behavior and ridicule. How does one ensure that the children are okay whilst pursuing a new relationship?
If you are a Christian parent who is praying for your kids, asking God to show Himself to them and to become very real to them, I don’t think you’re alone. That is the prayer on the lips of most believers for their children. Every Christian parent wants to feel secure in the knowledge that their child is pursuing God and believes wholeheartedly in His sovereignty. The worry and anxiety present themselves when your child questions his or her faith and God’s existence. What does one do in a situation like that?
When issues arise in your marriage, who do you turn to? A lot of couples have trouble communicating their dissatisfaction in marriage with one another. It can be difficult to have those tough conversations face to face with your spouse, and that is why people often find that letting off some steam with friends is a better way of dealing with the problem. For some, those friends are only available on Facebook, so the venting takes place there. However, the reality is that social media is a massive portal to the world and your marital gripes could end up going viral, for use of a better term.
Social Media is being named as one of the most common causes of marital disputes and divorce in more recent years. With this information, we would be wise to take stock of the time spent and connections being made over these social platforms in order to protect our marriages.
So many couples fall into the trap of focussing all their energy on their children, so much so, that when they “fly the nest” mom and dad are left with not much of a marriage.
We often talk about the millennial generation and how life has been a completely different experience for those born into this digital age. It affects parenting, career choices, attitudes towards socializing and so much more. But how have Millenials been affected in their view of the Church and God? Many churches are asking these questions and seeking answers on how to most effectively reach this generation.
If you’re a teen who’s feeling trapped by your parents’ “controlling behavior”, then stay tuned. You may not like some of their ideas, and their methods of guiding you into the right path may seem ineffective and unreasonable to you, but it's highly likely that they have your best interests at heart.
Identity labels are rarely helpful, especially where personality and sexuality are concerned. The term "gay" is just an artificial mental construct: a word that means what other people say it means – nothing more, nothing less. We’ll discuss male sexual identity and help a young man to understand true masculinity, stay tuned.
When a mother and father parent with the same agenda and discipline style, a happier and safer environment is created for the children as they understand their boundaries. When parents are divided in their parenting style it can cause a lot of problems with kids being confused and lacking the safety of consistency. In a situation where there has been a divorce, the parenting strategy still needs to remain intact as far as possible.
Parents, imagine the gut-wrenching feeling you would have at the thought of a babysitter abusing your child. Leaving our children in the care of another requires a sense of trust in that person, so when that trust becomes questionable there’s the reason for major concern.
It’s not easy for a divorced parent to stay well connected with his or her children when the court has ruled custody in favor of your ex, and you only see the children for a day or two every other week.
Is it wise and healthy for your marriage when you accept ‘friend’ requests from old flames on social media? Some might say, there’s absolutely no harm in staying in touch, while others may have stories to tell of those online friendships causing havoc in their marriages.
Husbands and wives should be looking out for their spouse's sexual needs and satisfying them as far as possible. But what does one do when the person you married is no longer attractive to you because they’ve ‘let themselves go’?
Do you think you’d be able to admit to your kids that you’re in the process of getting help for porn addiction? Most parents will be saying an emphatic “No” to that question. But what if we told you that being open and honest with your children in matters such as this could have a profoundly positive influence on their lives.
Has your child ever had an outburst and said something that shocked you to the core? A lot of the time the words have the little foundation and can be written off to emotions running high, but when should we be concerned that something greater is at play?
We’ll be talking about the online world of anorexia support groups and the potential dangers of these Pro-Ana websites, you won’t want to miss this.
How does one warn a teenage daughter of the potential pitfalls of spending time with an older guy, even if she claims that they are purely friends? Most teen girls don’t want to hear this kind of advice, so one has to be very careful with the approach. We’ll be discussing a situation in which a mom needs to voice her concerns and still maintain the relationship.
Dealing with our finances according to Christian principles implies a number of things. One is that Christians are expected to tithe, see 2 Chronicles 31:4&5. Christians are told to take care of the orphan and the widow. They are also commanded to honor their mother and father and to care for those within their household, read 1 Timothy 5:8. We’ll discuss what the Bible has to say about using our resources to care for aging parents.
How would you respond to an announcement from one of your children that they identify as a “gay Christian’? We’ll be responding to a mother whose son made just such a declaration on the next Family Matters.
Breakdowns in family relationships, unfortunately, happen all the time, sometimes without an actual event taking place that causes the division. On the next Family Matters, we’ll be discussing how to go about making repairs to broken relationships with family members.
On our last Family Matters, we were summarizing 12 important things that every young girl needs if she's to make the journey toward mature womanhood with a sense of security, poise, and peace of mind. We’ll continue with the list on the next Family Matters.
There’s a lot of media hype and controversial thinking surrounding gender these days. Children are growing up in a very different world from the one 50 years ago. So, amidst the ever-changing arena in which our kids find themselves, how can one help a teen girl to successfully move into womanhood?
There are so many different views and ideas on what is best for our children when it comes to education. Some families who have been serving God as missionaries have to make difficult decisions based on where they’ve been sent on a mission.
The advent of sexting is a real and serious issue among teens who get involved and then find themselves exposed in horrific and demoralizing ways. Parents cannot necessarily prevent this practice, but certainly need to be aware of the dangers and take a firm stance in the event of discovering that your child may be entangled in this destructive behavior.
The world that our teens find themselves in these days is, in fact, quite scary, thanks to the digital age that we live in. If you are not completely clued up on how to keep your teen safe from online predators or even seemingly harmless online connections.
Have you ever heard of somebody being referred to as a Narcissist? This word is often used to describe someone who has elevated self-importance and who comes across as incredibly selfish. It’s not easy to be married to someone exhibiting these traits, however, the term narcissist is sometimes misused.
There is a lot of controversy around gender and equality these days, and Christians are having to hold firm to their beliefs in the Bible in order to withstand the onslaught from the media and liberal activists. But the Bible speaks of women being made in the image of God, which can cause much confusion because God is referred to as a Father, so we assume He is male.
For parents to avoid spoiling their children, there needs to be a conscious effort towards teaching what matters most and showing them how to serve others. Far too many youngsters are growing up entitled and with unhealthy self-righteousness. And it’s easy to try and shift the blame, but if we’re honest, it is a parent’s responsibility to instill values that will last into adulthood.
Family meals around the dinner table have an enormously beneficial and lasting effect. If families can understand the value of slowing down for long enough to gather around the table and share conversations with one another, it would go a long way to nurturing a sense of belonging and connectedness for each individual.
As parents, we want to give our kids the best jumping-off point we can. If we nurture a healthy self-image in our children, we will have pretty much achieved our goal, because the rest will follow.
Have you experienced the battle of waking your child up in the morning to go to school? Sometimes even an early riser will procrastinate getting out of bed with various delay tactics. The good news is: You’re not alone.
When should a parent be concerned about a child’s introverted behaviour? On the next Family Matters we’ll be discussing the possibilities of deeper issues related to a child isolating him or herself.
Becoming a parent for the first time might cause you to feel a little anxious, or maybe even scared to the bone. But the unknown of your next adventure with your offspring shouldn’t have to cause you sleepless nights, wracking your brain as to how you’re going to manage the extra responsibility.
Every parent wants their child to listen well, follow instructions and be able to have a meaningful conversation with them. But, in so many homes, there are nagging parents and defiant children facing up against one another on a daily basis. We’ll talk about ways to effectively communicate with kids.
Our very own family members can be the most difficult individuals to get along with at times. On the next Family Matters we’ll discuss what to do about a father’s improper behaviour towards his daughter-in-law.
There’s a huge amount of emotional turmoil that children go through when divorce happens, and they will act out in various ways in order to attempt to deal with the hurt and loss. When a new partner comes onto the scene, this adds another aspect to what the child has to deal with.
Do you find yourself feeling anxious about life? Are you fearful about future events, or do you find yourself unable to control your restless mind? If any of the things mentioned describes where you are at, you’ll want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters where we’ll discuss what anxiety disorders are and how they can be treated.
If your child is being exposed to online chat rooms and other social media sites you are going to want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters. We’ll be discussing how much freedom is appropriate, and where precautionary measures need to be taken in order to protect your child from potential harm.
There are always concerns about the impact of divorce on children, but most people don’t actually know the far-reaching effects of such an event in the life of a child, through to adulthood.
Are you struggling with sibling rivalry in your home? Is there one child who constantly dominates another? This scenario is not unusual, but it’s also difficult to manage.
For husbands and wives, the marital bed can be an area of contention. There seem to be cultural norms that have crept into our thinking, or misguided ideas on what is Biblically appropriate in terms of sexual expression.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Prov 16:9 NIV) Isn’t this proverb exactly right? We may have ideas of how we want our life to go, but the Lord will determine a plan for our lives.
If you are the mother of a married child, you’ll understand that the relationship status has changed a great deal. Your adult child is no longer your responsibility in terms of looking after but is now in a family of his or her own. But if there are things in the relationship with the new spouse that seems unhealthy and concerning, when is it appropriate to offer your opinion or advice?
As a grandparent it can sometimes be difficult to watch from the sidelines as the job of parenting is left to your child. You may feel that you could do a better job or at least you would do certain things differently. But what happens if you are witnessing your grandchildren being neglected and exposed to unhealthy conditions?
So many young people who are in romantic relationships find that they’re struggling with keeping themselves pure before marriage. The Bible has clear cut scriptures on the matter, which some try to argue are outdated.
In this day and age with the increased use of technology and devices, as well as parents working long hours to support their families, time spent with our kids is being greatly affected, and unfortunately, the research is showing the negative impact of this lifestyle on the family as a whole. Many parents believe that if they can just provide well for their kids and give them the things that they ask for, they’re doing a good enough job at parenting.
It’s always tough for a mom to say goodbye to her adult child when he or she decides to fly the nest and begins to tackle life as a grown up. But when that adult child is struggling to support himself and is generally not coping with the responsibility of life on his own, a mother often wants to step in and rescue him.
As society endeavours to undermine the distinction between male and female, we’d like to highlight key differences in men and women.
I hate myself for who and what I am. I feel like the filthiest person in the world. My love life is a mess, too. I feel broken. I don't deserve to be happy.
Have you ever felt as though your life is falling apart and there’s no hope for you? These kinds of feelings are not to be taken lightly and should be assessed by an outsider who can offer a different perspective on the situation.
Bringing two families together to form a new family is always tricky. There are all sorts of challenges that go along with blending a family, even down to the labels that are given to the new Mom or Dad.
Falling prey to temptation may be easier than you think! Even Christians who have spent years serving the Lord has fallen.
The practice of having multiple wives or partners is one that definitely occurred in Old Testament times, however, what does the Bible actually say about what God designed for a man right in the beginning?
In order to believe in an unseen God, we need to have faith. And although we may have faith, as human beings we can still find ourselves doubting God’s power at times. I think that many Christians throughout time have grappled with doubt, in fact, the bible has numerous accounts of those who doubted. We want to encourage those who have felt disqualified because of a lack of faith on the next Family Matters, stay tuned.
Historical cultural norms can have a great influence over family life and choices, but there’s a difference between culture and Biblical truth. When backing up our beliefs with scripture, we need to be careful that we look at the verses in context.
Biblical language can sometimes be difficult to decipher or interpret. It is full of imagery, comparisons, and complex descriptions. Bible scholars have poured over the words with fine-tooth combs to pull out the pearls of what God wants to tell His people through His word. Something that can take time for us to wrap our heads around, is the Bible’s description of God’s relationship with a man being one of intimacy, compared with marriage, and using sexual language. This has caused much dissension among Christians and non-believers alike, and we’d like to briefly address this subject on the next Family Matters, stay tuned.
Teen suicide statistics have risen substantially over the last number of decades. When a teen commits suicide he leaves a wake of grieving friends and family. How can a parent be there for the grieving child, and what conversations should take place over that time?
Recovering from a traumatic experience is not a simple thing to do, it takes time and intentionality.
In the economic climate we find ourselves in, in this country, the lack of job opportunities has certainly restricted the value and significance of a university degree. There are countless people who have hard-earned qualifications but can’t find well-paying jobs in their field. Do these current circumstances negate the need or importance of achieving a university or college degree?
It's not every day that you see Dad doing the school run, after school activities, homework, and preparing dinner, but in some cases, this is the role Dads are finding themselves in.
In modern society, it has become increasingly common for both moms and dads to work outside of the home, and it’s overwhelmingly evident that busyness has become the norm for so many families. The words: ‘Oh, we’ve just been so busy!’ are almost everybody’s mantra. And with parents adopting this kind of lifestyle it’s often the Grandparents that get assigned the duties of fetching and carrying and taking care of the children. This arrangement can be extremely helpful for the family, but not when the Grandparents feel as though they’re being taken advantage of, or are enabling an over-busy lifestyle.
The subject of discipline is a hot topic among most parents, and it’s an area where parents can feel overwhelmed and underqualified. What a lot of Moms and Dads don’t realize is that effective discipline takes effort and follow-through, and when there’s inconsistency, children end up feeling unsure of their boundaries.
A relationship that ends because of unfaithfulness is always a serious blow, but when there are children involved it makes the situation so much more difficult and devastating.
As a Christian, how do I sort out the difference between my obligation to family on the one hand and to the work of the gospel on the other? And what's my responsibility to my extended family as compared with my obligation to my immediate, nuclear family? Is there any distinction between the two? My feeling is that many believers are too quick to try to save the rest of the world when what we really need is to become more effective missionaries at home and to create stronger, godlier extended families. What do you think?
Pursuing a serious relationship with someone who you feel is a potential marriage partner is always a big decision. This is because marriage is a lifetime commitment that doesn’t only involve you and your spouse but your respective families too.
Blended families take extra effort when it comes to relationship and discipline with stepchildren.
Does the fact that I'm not ready to sleep in the same bed with my husband since learning of his affair mean that I haven't forgiven him? Several months ago I discovered that he had been involved with another woman for more than four years. He's sorry about it now and has cut off the relationship, but for some reason I'm still not at a place where I feel comfortable getting close to him or being intimate with him. He's frustrated by this and says that I obviously haven't forgiven him. He has also suggested that it might be best if he sleeps at a friend's house (of the same sex) until I'm ready to come back to bed with him. What should I do?
Very often an addict is slow to realize the severity of their problem, and will become defensive if the word addict is even mentioned. Now, you may think I’m referring to substance abuse and addiction, but today I’m referring to an addiction that’s catching a lot of people off guard: that of Computer Game Addiction.
Have you ever heard yourself say something a little like this: “You are not leaving the dining table until you have eaten your dinner”, or, “Why didn’t you eat the school lunch I packed for you?, or, “No, you cannot have a sweetie, it’s 9 in the morning and you still haven’t eaten your breakfast!” I’m sure many parents can relate to at least one of these scenarios, and even more so if your child happens to be a particularly picky eater. As parents we can often become panicked about our child not eating, and conflict between spouses sometimes arises as a result of different opinions on the matter.
There are so many families in our country that have been broken by bad relationships, death of a parent or both parents or just never had the chance to be a family in the first place. Countless children are being raised by their grandparents because of these undesirable circumstances and although it is a huge blessing that the children remain in the care of a family member, there are definitely going to be challenges attached to the unconventional family situation.
Many believers and non-believers alike are asking big questions like: Why get married? What is the big deal about divorce and why should one remain faithful to one person for the rest of their lives?
Where does the Bible speak about the "sanctity of human life?" I've noticed that the more widely a phrase or slogan gets thrown around, the fuzzier its meaning seems to become. This one is a good example. I'm forever hearing Christians talk about "the sanctity of human life" – in church, on Christian radio and television, and in fund-raising letters from non-profit ministries. In spite of this, I'm not sure I understand exactly what it refers to or where it comes from. Is there a biblical basis for this idea?
In life we sometimes face challenges that we never dreamed we’d have to go through. Imagine not seeing your spouse for years because of imprisonment, and then knowing that the release date is approaching. After your relationship has been barely existent for so long, you’ll now be navigating the way forward along some scary, unknown territory.
An important rule for any married couple is to avoid belittling or undermining your spouse in public. This statement may sound obvious, but often times a spouse may not even realize the error of his words, and that is why open and honest communication is so necessary.
Placing healthy boundaries in your marriage can never be underestimated. Too many marriage relationships have been thwarted by a lack of appropriate boundaries, which has inevitably led to falling into sin. Should a married man spend one on one time helping a women who is experiencing martial problems?
Having a child who is inherently irresponsible can be one of the most frustrating things for a parent. Parenting is a tough enough task as it is, without having to constantly be worrying about a child who can’t seem to take responsibility for his things.
The statistics for reported child abuse in our country are way below the actual numbers, and this is due to various reasons. First a foremost, the fear instilled in the victims if they tell anyone what is going on, and then sadly, the social acceptance of practices like corporal punishment and sexual harassment among other things.
You’ll often hear people throwing the term ‘OCD’ around to describe minor habitual behaviours that they or others have adopted. But what if you are married to someone who exhibits truly obsessive behaviour?
The demands of a high powered job are monstrous, and fighting off the monster for the sake of your family can be one of the most challenging and yet profoundly important things you can do. In our fast paced world, with technology at our fingertips meaning that we are constantly connected, it takes a lot of intentionality to change gear at home when your family needs you.
If you’re a bible believing Christian who is on fire for the Lord and you’re desperate to see others experiencing the fullness of what God has for them, then you are not alone. Your approach to the people around you should be taken seriously and cautiously at the same time. That said, depending on where people are at in their Christian walk, they’re not always going to be up for a heated discussion on the dos and don’ts of the Bible.
Have you ever wondered if someone you love may have a drinking problem? There are many misnomers around alcoholism, and we want to disclose the signs you should be looking for if you suspect an issue with alcohol.
Marriages are under threat in an even more terrifying way than ever before with the introduction of cybersex and other online portals to sexually explicit material. So many people are falling prey to the lure of sexual encounters online without realizing the serious nature of such practices.
Can you tell us what changes we should expect as our child goes through puberty and enters adolescence – and how we should deal with them? I realize that this is likely to be a challenging time in our son's life. I'm also assuming that my spouse and I will have to bear a large part of the burden of his insecurity and anxiety as he navigates this delicate transition. Do you have some tried-and-true strategies for weathering the storm?
It’s sometimes difficult to get a sense of really counting for God when your everyday life tends to feel quite mundane. Christians often question how effective they are being in God’s kingdom, trying desperately to pursue their ‘calling’ and ending up resenting their career.
When a couple decides to get married, there should be no secrets between them that may surface in their marriage and trip them up. So, what happens if you have chosen to stay sexually pure before marriage but your partner is no longer a virgin? We’ll discuss how this can affect the relationship, and how couples can overcome this kind of hurdle.
How can I be sure that my spouse is really repentant for the pain he has caused me? A year ago, I discovered he'd been involved in an emotional affair with another woman for nearly a decade. He also has a history of explosive anger which has often led to verbal abuse. On a number of occasions he has actually thrown things at me. Though he's ended the extramarital relationship, softened his demeanor somewhat, and even says that he's eager to go to counseling and work on our marriage, I can't help feeling confused. Once he said to me, "I know I've messed up in the past, but you have a pretty good thing going with me." Several times when I've mentioned his violent behavior, he has responded with, "Yes, I threw things at you, but I missed." He also maintains that he only concealed the affair from me for ten years because he "didn't want to hurt me." I don't feel we can move forward until this is resolved in my mind. What do you think?
Divorce is never an easy road to walk, and when there are kids involved you can expect an even harder slog. Children are profoundly affected by their parents splitting up, and Mom and Dad need to know how best to deal with their kids’ scared and confused behavior.
Depression is a clinical condition that affects the psyche of a person in varying degrees, but it also affects the family members in a considerable way. We’ll take an honest look at ways to minimize the impact of depression.
There is so much to be said for the enormous role that a father plays in his daughter’s life, and especially in her confidence. A father shapes the way a girl sees herself in society, and so he has a great influence on feeding her self-worth.
We are regularly asked by parents, how they should go about dealing with a child who has been a victim of bullying and cyber-bullying. There are a number of articles that give guidelines and advice to those parents on our website at safamily.co.za. But, today we want to speak to the teens themselves who are being faced with cyber-bullying. We’ve heard from many teens that are struggling to live productive and normal lives because they are fearful of the bullies at school or those they’re connected with on social media. Cyber-bullying is not okay, and we’ll talk more about ways to deal with the onslaught of negative messages and threats on the next Family Matters.
Children read about the Devil in the bible and hear stories told in Sunday School, and sometimes they begin to have nightmares and uncontrollable fears of this unseen enemy. Parents can do a lot to allay those fears by referencing what God’s word says in the Bible.
Now that I'm past 18, should I still "submit" to my mom and dad? The Bible says that children should "obey" their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20), but at what point do I become fully independent of their control?
As human beings, we are so fallible, and our hearts and minds can lead us astray very easily if we don’t keep them in check and surrendered to God. As Christians, we have been rescued out of slavery to sin and reconciled to God, but that does not mean that sinful thought never crosses our minds. We still have to make a conscious decision daily to take up our cross and follow Christ. In marriage, we have to guard our hearts against any sinful desire that may threaten our relationship with our spouse.
When it comes to infidelity in a marriage relationship, there can be no grey area. A spouse should never be asked to turn a blind eye to extramarital relationships, because the very nature of marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman, and this vow should not be undermined.
When a young boy chooses to play with girls’ toys or loves to join in girly fantasy games, is this a warning sign that he may be struggling with gender identification? We’re discussing this in a little more detail
Is sex really that critical to a healthy marriage? Here's why I ask. I'm having a disagreement with my spouse. He tells me that sex is a "sacrament" and "a holy mystery," and that it needs to be central to our relationship. He even uses Ephesians 5:30-32 to support these claims. I don't agree. After all, there's a lot more to marriage than just sex. Besides, the Bible itself (in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5) seems to suggest that sex is basically a sort of functional "chore," not a deeply meaningful "spiritual" experience. I get the feeling that some believers think sex is more important than the Bible says it is. Do you agree?
In every marriage, there are going to be conflicts and frustrations between husband and wife, and sometimes an outside perspective can be just what you need to get back on track. But one needs to be careful about where that counsel comes from because even family members can often be a hindrance if they are overly invested.
When life takes a turn for the worse, and you experience suffering and heartache, it’s very difficult to hear the words, “God works all things for the good”, because things may not look good at all to you. Going through trials and tribulation is never easy, and yet the bible tells us that we will have to endure hardship in this life.
How can I help my small child deal with his overwhelming fear of insects? He's always been a little scared of bugs, but recently he was bitten by something at school during snack time, and now he gets hysterical every time the class is supposed to go outside. What's the solution?
Is it wrong for a married person to have a friend of the opposite sex? While my spouse was away on a week-long missions trip, I enlisted a male friend from work to come over and help me care for our eighteen-month-old daughter. In the process, we ended up watching movies together or working on office-related projects after my daughter went to bed. When my husband came home, he was very unhappy about this and expressed fear that I might be involved in an affair. He seems to think it's impossible for two adults of the opposite sex to have a non-sexual relationship. He's even asked that I never spend time with this co-worker again. I'm cooperating with his request, but I can't help feeling resentful of his unfounded suspicions. What do you think?
How can we stop our four-year-old from stealing? It seems like everywhere we go – church, stores, museums, friends' houses – he walks out with something that doesn't belong to him. I have a feeling that he's just being irresponsible-that he puts things in his pocket and then forgets about them. My husband and I have talked to him several times about why this behavior is wrong. We've told him what the Bible has to say about stealing. We've even tried punishing him. But he keeps doing it. What should we do now?
Do you have any ideas for helping a pre-teen child who is seriously overweight? He loves food and gets extremely disappointed when we turn down his requests for snacks and treats. He also becomes depressed after several days of healthy eating. How can we reverse this trend?
Do you think it's a good idea for husbands and wives to have regular activities apart from each other with their friends of the same sex? My husband feels a deep need to get together with his guy friends a couple of times each month, but I'd rather spend most of my time with him. I get out with some girlfriends a couple times a year, and this seems to be more than sufficient for me. What are your thoughts?
Is there anything I can do to help my expectant wife deal with the severe mood swings she's been experiencing? She's about three-quarters of the way through her pregnancy, and lately she's been terribly depressed. It's beginning to take a real toll on our relationship. I've heard a lot about post-partum depression, but is it normal for a woman to be feeling blue before the arrival of a baby?
What can we do to encourage our adult son to grow up? He's made some very poor choices in terms of lifestyle, jobs, living arrangements, and friends. After raising him in the Christian faith, we're deeply disappointed. At the same time we can't help feeling guilty and wondering where we went wrong. Is there anything we can do to reverse the situation without overstepping appropriate boundaries?
Have you ever heard the parent say that the job of parenting is the walk in the park, probably not, because even those who are parenting a compliant, easy-going child can find it challenging at times? And so when we hear from a Mom whose at the end of her rope because she’s parenting a strong-willed child, we try to offer as much encouragement and support as possible. We are speaking more about this in this episode.
Should I consider remarrying my ex-spouse for the sake of our child? We are both Christians, but we recently got divorced. Over the past few weeks I've become increasingly concerned about the impact of this family breakup upon our preschooler. What do you think I should do?
Should children be allowed to have smart phones or mobile devices? Our oldest has started driving and all of our kids are constantly on the move. My spouse thinks they need phones in order to stay better connected with us. Do you think this is a good idea?
There are so many different views and ideas on what is best for our children when it comes to education. Some families who have been serving God as missionaries have to make difficult decisions based on where they’ve been sent on a mission.
The advent of sexting is a real and serious issue among teens who get involved and then find themselves exposed in horrific and demoralizing ways. Parents cannot necessarily prevent this practice, but certainly need to be aware of the dangers and take a firm stance in the event of discovering that your child may be entangled in this destructive behavior.
The world that our teens find themselves in these days is, in fact, quite scary, thanks to the digital age that we live in. If you are not completely clued up on how to keep your teen safe from online predators or even seemingly harmless online connections.
Have you ever heard of somebody being referred to as a Narcissist? This word is often used to describe someone who has elevated self-importance and who comes across as incredibly selfish. It’s not easy to be married to someone exhibiting these traits, however, the term narcissist is sometimes misused.
There is a lot of controversy around gender and equality these days, and Christians are having to hold firm to their beliefs in the Bible in order to withstand the onslaught from the media and liberal activists. But the Bible speaks of women being made in the image of God, which can cause much confusion because God is referred to as a Father, so we assume He is male.
For parents to avoid spoiling their children, there needs to be a conscious effort towards teaching what matters most and showing them how to serve others. Far too many youngsters are growing up entitled and with unhealthy self-righteousness. And it’s easy to try and shift the blame, but if we’re honest, it is a parent’s responsibility to instill values that will last into adulthood.
Family meals around the dinner table have an enormously beneficial and lasting effect. If families can understand the value of slowing down for long enough to gather around the table and share conversations with one another, it would go a long way to nurturing a sense of belonging and connectedness for each individual.
As parents, we want to give our kids the best jumping-off point we can. If we nurture a healthy self-image in our children, we will have pretty much achieved our goal, because the rest will follow.
Have you experienced the battle of waking your child up in the morning to go to school? Sometimes even an early riser will procrastinate getting out of bed with various delay tactics. The good news is: You’re not alone.
When should a parent be concerned about a child’s introverted behaviour? On the next Family Matters we’ll be discussing the possibilities of deeper issues related to a child isolating him or herself.
Becoming a parent for the first time might cause you to feel a little anxious, or maybe even scared to the bone. But the unknown of your next adventure with your offspring shouldn’t have to cause you sleepless nights, wracking your brain as to how you’re going to manage the extra responsibility.
Every parent wants their child to listen well, follow instructions and be able to have a meaningful conversation with them. But, in so many homes, there are nagging parents and defiant children facing up against one another on a daily basis. We’ll talk about ways to effectively communicate with kids.
Our very own family members can be the most difficult individuals to get along with at times. On the next Family Matters we’ll discuss what to do about a father’s improper behaviour towards his daughter-in-law.
There’s a huge amount of emotional turmoil that children go through when divorce happens, and they will act out in various ways in order to attempt to deal with the hurt and loss. When a new partner comes onto the scene, this adds another aspect to what the child has to deal with.
Do you find yourself feeling anxious about life? Are you fearful about future events, or do you find yourself unable to control your restless mind? If any of the things mentioned describes where you are at, you’ll want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters where we’ll discuss what anxiety disorders are and how they can be treated.
If your child is being exposed to online chat rooms and other social media sites you are going to want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters. We’ll be discussing how much freedom is appropriate, and where precautionary measures need to be taken in order to protect your child from potential harm.
There are always concerns about the impact of divorce on children, but most people don’t actually know the far-reaching effects of such an event in the life of a child, through to adulthood.
Are you struggling with sibling rivalry in your home? Is there one child who constantly dominates another? This scenario is not unusual, but it’s also difficult to manage.
For husbands and wives, the marital bed can be an area of contention. There seem to be cultural norms that have crept into our thinking, or misguided ideas on what is Biblically appropriate in terms of sexual expression.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Prov 16:9 NIV) Isn’t this proverb exactly right? We may have ideas of how we want our life to go, but the Lord will determine a plan for our lives.
Dealing with the interesting antics of a toddler is a full time job, and that’s not to mention a strong-willed toddler who seems to defy every law. Most parents face embarrassing or just plain difficult moments with their little ones as they learn about the world around them and how to navigate the social aspect of life. One area that comes up time and time again is the child who bites as a means of exhibiting power or control. No parent enjoys facing the unfortunate event of their child biting another unsuspecting buddy, but this is inevitable if the behavior is not dealt with swiftly.
If you are the mother of a married child, you’ll understand that the relationship status has changed a great deal. Your adult child is no longer your responsibility in terms of looking after but is now in a family of his or her own. But if there are things in the relationship with the new spouse that seems unhealthy and concerning, when is it appropriate to offer your opinion or advice?
As a grandparent it can sometimes be difficult to watch from the sidelines as the job of parenting is left to your child. You may feel that you could do a better job or at least you would do certain things differently. But what happens if you are witnessing your grandchildren being neglected and exposed to unhealthy conditions?
So many young people who are in romantic relationships find that they’re struggling with keeping themselves pure before marriage. The Bible has clear cut scriptures on the matter, which some try to argue are outdated.
In this day and age with the increased use of technology and devices, as well as parents working long hours to support their families, time spent with our kids is being greatly affected, and unfortunately, the research is showing the negative impact of this lifestyle on the family as a whole. Many parents believe that if they can just provide well for their kids and give them the things that they ask for, they’re doing a good enough job at parenting.
It’s always tough for a mom to say goodbye to her adult child when he or she decides to fly the nest and begins to tackle life as a grown up. But when that adult child is struggling to support himself and is generally not coping with the responsibility of life on his own, a mother often wants to step in and rescue him.
As society endeavours to undermine the distinction between male and female, we’d like to highlight key differences in men and women.
Last time on Family Matters we were responding to a cry for help from one of our listeners who feels like a loser and has lost hope in this life. A plea like this really touches our hearts at a deep level and we always want to step in and help as much as we can.
Have you ever felt as though your life is falling apart and there’s no hope for you? These kinds of feelings are not to be taken lightly and should be assessed by an outsider who can offer a different perspective on the situation.
Bringing two families together to form a new family is always tricky. There are all sorts of challenges that go along with blending a family, even down to the labels that are given to the new Mom or Dad.
Falling prey to temptation may be easier than you think! Even Christians who have spent years serving the Lord has fallen.
The practice of having multiple wives or partners is one that definitely occurred in Old Testament times, however, what does the Bible actually say about what God designed for a man right in the beginning?
Historical cultural norms can have a great influence over family life and choices, but there’s a difference between culture and Biblical truth. When backing up our beliefs with scripture, we need to be careful that we look at the verses in context.
Teen suicide statistics have risen substantially over the last number of decades. When a teen commits suicide he leaves a wake of grieving friends and family. How can a parent be there for the grieving child, and what conversations should take place over that time?
Recovering from a traumatic experience is not a simple thing to do, it takes time and intentionality.
In the economic climate we find ourselves in, in this country, the lack of job opportunities has certainly restricted the value and significance of a university degree. There are countless people who have hard-earned qualifications but can’t find well-paying jobs in their field. Do these current circumstances negate the need or importance of achieving a university or college degree?
It's not every day that you see Dad doing the school run, after school activities, homework, and preparing dinner, but in some cases, this is the role Dads are finding themselves in.
In modern society, it has become increasingly common for both moms and dads to work outside of the home, and it’s overwhelmingly evident that busyness has become the norm for so many families. The words: ‘Oh, we’ve just been so busy!’ are almost everybody’s mantra. And with parents adopting this kind of lifestyle it’s often the Grandparents that get assigned the duties of fetching and carrying and taking care of the children. This arrangement can be extremely helpful for the family, but not when the Grandparents feel as though they’re being taken advantage of, or are enabling an over-busy lifestyle.
The subject of discipline is a hot topic among most parents, and it’s an area where parents can feel overwhelmed and underqualified. What a lot of Moms and Dads don’t realize is that effective discipline takes effort and follow-through, and when there’s inconsistency, children end up feeling unsure of their boundaries.
A relationship that ends because of unfaithfulness is always a serious blow, but when there are children involved it makes the situation so much more difficult and devastating.
As a Christian, how do I sort out the difference between my obligation to family on the one hand and to the work of the gospel on the other? And what's my responsibility to my extended family as compared with my obligation to my immediate, nuclear family? Is there any distinction between the two? My feeling is that many believers are too quick to try to save the rest of the world when what we really need is to become more effective missionaries at home and to create stronger, godlier extended families. What do you think?
We usually find ourselves talking about abuse where the wife is the victim, but on today’s Family Matters we’ll help a husband who is suffering physical abuse from his wife, and give universal steps that must be taken no matter what the abuse and who the perpetrator is.
What do we need to know before adopting a child who has been abused? We're considering adopting a child under the age of 2 who was removed from his birth home due to abuse when only a few months old. He has been in the foster-care system for the past year. What kind of risks are we facing?
Home-life can be greatly impacted by a spouse who is complacent and refuses to contribute to the household income and or responsibilities. What does one do in a situation like this?
When it comes to finances, couples need to be on the same page in order to avoid unmet expectations and a whole lot of disappointment in the relationship. In this Family Matters episode, we’ll speak about the financial perspective for newlyweds, but the principles apply to all marriages.
Have you noticed a decline in the amount of family conversation that happens in your home? How much face-to-face talk time is your family achieving in the busyness of life? We’ll discuss the importance of communication in this Family Matters episode.
It’s probably safe to say that many couples have differences in their sexual needs. We often hear from women who just don’t have the same libido as their husbands, and this can cause a great deal of frustration and strain in a marriage. On the next Family Matters, we’ll speak into this kind of situation, stay tuned.
In situations of divorce, there are often times ongoing feuds or discord between the ex-spouses. There can be a lot of negative feelings toward the ex-partner and unfortunately where children are involved, they can end up in the middle of all of it, and can even become the go-between, relaying messages or conversations that are unhelpful to all the relationships at play.
What can I do about kids texting intimidating messages to my cell phone and posting mean rumors about me on Facebook? At first I tried to ignore them, but the situation has gotten so bad that I don't want to show my face at school anymore. These people are destroying my life!
If a married man develops feelings for his friend’s wife, he knows that the implications are huge. But what is the underlying problem, and what can be done to ensure that martial destruction is not the end result.
Every parent wants their child to listen well, follow instructions and be able to have a meaningful conversation with them. But, in so many homes, there are nagging parents and defiant children facing up against one another on a daily basis. We’ll talk about ways to effectively communicate with kids.
How can I get beyond my spouse's critical attitude and forget about the many cruel things she's said to me in the past? After several years of marriage, I've come to point where I just can't take it anymore. I don't believe in divorce, so we're sleeping in separate rooms and living separate lives under the same roof. Now she wants me to forgive her so that we can move forward in our marriage, but from my perspective it's not quite that easy. Her cutting words still burn in my memory, and I'm not ready to become vulnerable again. What should I do?
How can my wife and I come to an agreement about child discipline? I've tried to teach my son a strong sense of discipline, but my wife often disagrees with my approach and methods. She says I'm "too hard on the boy." As you can imagine, this can sometimes become a sore spot in our marriage. How can I fulfill what I believe to be my obligations as a father while still honoring my wife and respecting her perspective?
What can I do to overcome the sadness that has overtaken me since the death of my husband? How do I step forward into the next phase of my life? He battled a number of challenging health problems during the last two years of his life. As a result, my entire identity became wrapped up in caring for him and meeting his needs. Now that the struggle is over, I feel empty and lost as well as grieved. I honestly don't know where to turn or what to do next. Can you help me?
How can I help my husband see that he is placing the needs and feelings of his parents ahead of mine? After several years of marriage, his attachment to his mom and dad is still so strong that it's causing serious damage to our relationship. I've confronted him about this, but he doesn't see it as a problem.
Does the Bible really say that gambling is wrong? I realize that it's one of those activities – like dancing and playing cards – that religious conservatives have traditionally been "against." But I'm not convinced that there's any solid biblical basis for their opposition to what I regard as innocuous games of chance.
If it's important to maintain clear distinctions between the sexes – and I agree that it is – should we encourage our school-age daughters to think in terms of pursuing non-traditional female career choices? One of our girls has been talking about becoming a firefighter when she grows up. I realize that most people in contemporary secular society wouldn't have any problem with this, but as a conservative Christian I can't help wondering: does a goal like this align with genuinely biblical womanhood? Should I try to steer my daughter in another direction?
Where does the Bible actually say that pre-marital sex is wrong? My parents have always taught me that the Bible commands us not to have sex before marriage. Now that I'm old enough to think for myself, I'm having serious doubts about this. I haven't run across anything in Scripture to support their views. In fact, I can't even find any biblical basis for "traditional" marriage! Isaac and Rebekah didn't have a church wedding. Apparently they just slept together and that was it!
Can we count on God to provide materially for His faithful children? Philippians 4:19 seems to promise that He always will. I've been clinging to this verse since losing my job, but it doesn't seem to have done me and my family much good. Over the past several months we've lost our home, our car, and most of our possessions. This has been hard, but it has also had the effect of raising bigger questions in my mind. I realize that many faithful Christians down through the ages have lived with unmet physical needs. They have struggled under circumstances much harsher than my own. The more I think about this, the harder it is to believe that God's promise is true. Can you help me resolve this crisis of faith?
How can I stop feeling guilty and resist the temptation to be "Superwoman"? I'm a working mother with a preschooler and a couple of school-age kids who are also involved in lots of extra-curricular activities. I have to admit that I feel bad whenever I'm not doing something "productive." My family's schedule is so tight, and there's so much to be done, that I feel compelled to "work" – and sometimes that involves multi-tasking – all the time. If I don't, I quickly become gripped by the fear that things won't get done.
An extramarital affair can cause havoc in a marriage, but hiding the truth of an affair can have far worse long-term consequences.
In this modern world of digital everything, and social media mayhem, it’s very easy to see how extra-marital flirtation and affairs can entice and ensnare unsuspecting partners. With no face-to-face contact, one can believe that there is no real harm in engaging in a little online flirtation, but this is the very behavior that is leading people down a road to destruction in their marriages. We want to make couples aware of the dangers and offer wise counsel as to how they can keep their marriage protected.
How can we make family prayer a priority? We're a Christian family and my spouse and I are eager to raise our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Can you give us some helpful pointers in this area? Our children are small, and it's been a real struggle to make prayer times engaging for them. Do you think we should keep trying? Or should we just wait until they're older?
What's the relationship between drugs, alcohol, and teen suicide? What should we do if we suspect that our child might be at risk for any of these behaviors?
How can we get our defiant toddler to lie down and go to sleep at night? He's a handful at any time and under any circumstances, but nothing can top his uncooperative behavior at bedtime. No matter how many times we put him to bed, he gets up again and again. I feel as if I'm losing my mind for lack of sleep. What can we do about this?
As a single mom with three young children, is it okay for me to want another person around to help carry the load? I used to feel pretty self-sufficient, but the burden of doing it all by myself is getting heavier. I work full time, take online college courses, and I'm active in church. Do you have any advice for someone in my situation?
The most beautiful and freeing thing about Christianity is that Christ died for the forgiveness of our sins. But Jesus also taught that believers should forgive one another as He forgives us. The practice of offering forgiveness to others, no matter how hard, is unquestioned in the Christian faith. When it comes to forgiving ourselves for our wrongdoings, that’s another story. Perhaps the sins of your past still overwhelm you and you’re unsure that you’ll ever be able to move past those mistakes.
Why has God given teens such strong a sexual drive and no healthy, acceptable way to satisfy it? This just doesn't seem fair. In Bible times people got married at a younger age. As a result, it was normal to have sex and start raising kids before you reached the age of 20. These days, much of society still frowns upon teenagers engaging in any kind of sexual activity. Why has God given us these feelings if we can't do anything about them?
How do we establish behavioral guidelines for a grown child who suffers from mental illness? Should our boundaries be the same as those we'd set up with any other child? Or do special considerations apply in a situation like this?
What should I do if my primary school child is getting so much homework that family time hardly exists and he has little energy for anything else? He spends hours on his assignments every night. As far as I can see, he isn't slow at completing his tasks. There's just too much to do! Is all this homework really necessary for effective learning and healthy childhood development?
If your teen daughter is causing your hair to fall out from panic over her fashion choices, then you’ll want to stay tuned to Family Matters because we’ll be tackling the issue of modesty and clothing battles between teens and parents.
How can I help my teens deal with the fallout of my divorce? It's been painful for everyone, but I'm especially concerned about my oldest son. Ever since my ex-husband left a year and a half ago, he seems to be putting himself under a lot of pressure to assume the role of the "man of the house." This is especially difficult for him since he was looking forward to going away to university next year. Now he feels obligated to stay at home and help the family. What can I do for him and the rest of the kids?
Most people love to have a good laugh from time to time, some even call laughing medicine for the soul. There are, however, some who seem to laugh and joke less than the rest of us, and perhaps that’s just their personality coming through.
Marriage is a God designed institution in which a man and woman become one flesh and commit to sharing life together for the rest of their days. The problem very often, however, is that couples don’t seek to serve each other in marriage but rather endeavor to have their individual needs met, sometimes by allowing themselves to be drawn into extra-marital relationships. Unfortunately when we take our focus off our spouse we can let outside influences gain a foothold in our lives.
If there is more than one child in your home, you can bet there’ll be some form of sibling rivalry at one time or another. The important question is, how much conflict between siblings should parents allow and put up with?
Is Christian sexual morality unhealthy or unnatural? I'm young woman who is trying to live a chaste life, but my boyfriend is always pressuring me. He says that my concerns about sexual morality are just an expression of an unhealthy "fear"-that in trying to live by God's standards, I'm basically rejecting the beauties of creation and avoiding the joys of life in the flesh as God intended it. I'm finding it harder and harder to answer him when talks this way. Can you help me?
If you have become despondent about the state of your Christian walk, you are not alone, many Christians wrestle with similar feelings every day.
Will my pet be with me in heaven? I'm really sad right now because my dog just died. We've had the same dog ever since I was a little kid, and I can't even imagine life without him. I asked my mom if I'd see him in heaven and she told me to go ask my Sunday school teacher. I asked my Sunday school teacher and he said no, heaven is for people, not animals. That really upset me. Do you think my Sunday school teacher is right?
As your child enters the teen years, you may notice that there’s been a shift in his or her loyalties. Where you were once your child’s safe place and confidant, you may realize that you’ve been relegated to the bench whilst friends take centerstage in their world.
What do you think of Christians who adopt a "survivalist/off-the-grid" mentality? Who sell their homes, move to remote desert or mountain locations, stockpile food, grow their own crops, live like "pioneers," and strive to be as independent of the "system" as possible? I know several people who are moving in this direction. I don't completely disapprove-after all, I'm sure we'd all be better off if we eliminated some of our modern luxuries and learned to live more simply. Still, I can't help wondering if this is really the way God wants us to behave as His witnesses in the world. What do you think?
There often comes a point in our adult lives when amidst our demanding task of parenting, we find that our own parents get to an age where they need our care as well. This is definitely not an easy situation to navigate.
Is there any legitimate place for the arts within the biblical worldview, or is it simply a frivolous and "worldly" pursuit? How can we tell good and godly art from bad art? Our daughter is an art student at the university, and we're worried that she's just wasting her time and energy. More importantly, we have deep concerns about the moral aspects of what she's doing – her Life Drawing class regularly requires her to sketch the nude human figure from a live model! How do you feel about that?
As Christian parents we always want to make sure that our children know the principles by which Christ has taught us to live. However, we also need to ensure that they understand the fallen world that we live in.
How can I help my adolescent son deal with his anger? It's easy to tell that he is very angry about something, but I have a sense that he's trying desperately to squash his feelings and keep a lid on his emotions. Try as I might, I can't get him to talk about it. What should I do?
On our last Family Matters, we were summarizing 12 important things that every young girl needs if she's to make the journey toward mature womanhood with a sense of security, poise, and peace of mind. We’ll continue with the list on the next Family Matters.
There’s a lot of media hype and controversial thinking surrounding gender these days. Children are growing up in a very different world from the one 50 years ago. So, amidst the ever-changing arena in which our kids find themselves, how can one help a teen girl to successfully move into womanhood?
How can my spouse and I come alongside our teenage son and daughter as they encounter instances of gender confusion in their high school? Believe it or not, a couple of such cases have come to light during this past academic year.
There is definitely no easy way to go about dating again as a single mom after a divorce. If your child has been separated from a parent and is now being introduced to your new potential partners, this can be extremely scary for them and you can be sure to meet with some adverse behavior and ridicule. How does one ensure that the children are okay whilst pursuing a new relationship?
There are so many different views and ideas on what is best for our children when it comes to education. Some families who have been serving God as missionaries have to make difficult decisions based on where they’ve been sent on a mission.
If you are a Christian parent who is praying for your kids, asking God to show Himself to them and to become very real to them, I don’t think you’re alone. That is the prayer on the lips of most believers for their children. Every Christian parent wants to feel secure in the knowledge that their child is pursuing God and believes wholeheartedly in His sovereignty. The worry and anxiety present themselves when your child questions his or her faith and God’s existence. What does one do in a situation like that?
The advent of sexting is a real and serious issue among teens who get involved and then find themselves exposed in horrific and demoralizing ways. Parents cannot necessarily prevent this practice, but certainly need to be aware of the dangers and take a firm stance in the event of discovering that your child may be entangled in this destructive behavior.
When issues arise in your marriage, who do you turn to? A lot of couples have trouble communicating their dissatisfaction in marriage with one another. It can be difficult to have those tough conversations face to face with your spouse, and that is why people often find that letting off some steam with friends is a better way of dealing with the problem. For some, those friends are only available on Facebook, so the venting takes place there. However, the reality is that social media is a massive portal to the world and your marital gripes could end up going viral, for use of a better term.
The world that our teens find themselves in these days is, in fact, quite scary, thanks to the digital age that we live in. If you are not completely clued up on how to keep your teen safe from online predators or even seemingly harmless online connections.
Social Media is being named as one of the most common causes of marital disputes and divorce in more recent years. With this information, we would be wise to take stock of the time spent and connections being made over these social platforms in order to protect our marriages.
Have you ever heard of somebody being referred to as a Narcissist? This word is often used to describe someone who has elevated self-importance and who comes across as incredibly selfish. It’s not easy to be married to someone exhibiting these traits, however, the term narcissist is sometimes misused.
So many couples fall into the trap of focusing all their energy on their children, so much so, that when they “fly the nest” mom and dad are left with not much of a marriage.
There is a lot of controversy around gender and equality these days, and Christians are having to hold firm to their beliefs in the Bible in order to withstand the onslaught from the media and liberal activists. But the Bible speaks of women being made in the image of God, which can cause much confusion because God is referred to as a Father, so we assume He is male.
We often talk about the millennial generation and how life has been a completely different experience for those born into this digital age. It affects parenting, career choices, attitudes towards socializing and so much more. But how have Millenials been affected in their view of the Church and God? Many churches are asking these questions and seeking answers on how to most effectively reach this generation.
For parents to avoid spoiling their children, there needs to be a conscious effort towards teaching what matters most and showing them how to serve others. Far too many youngsters are growing up entitled and with unhealthy self-righteousness. And it’s easy to try and shift the blame, but if we’re honest, it is a parent’s responsibility to instill values that will last into adulthood.
If you’re a teen who’s feeling trapped by your parents’ “controlling behavior”, then stay tuned. You may not like some of their ideas, and their methods of guiding you into the right path may seem ineffective and unreasonable to you, but it's highly likely that they have your best interests at heart.
Family meals around the dinner table have an enormously beneficial and lasting effect. If families can understand the value of slowing down for long enough to gather around the table and share conversations with one another, it would go a long way to nurturing a sense of belonging and connectedness for each individual.
Identity labels are rarely helpful, especially where personality and sexuality are concerned. The term "gay" is just an artificial mental construct: a word that means what other people say it means – nothing more, nothing less. We’ll discuss male sexual identity and help a young man to understand true masculinity, stay tuned.
As parents, we want to give our kids the best jumping-off point we can. If we nurture a healthy self-image in our children, we will have pretty much achieved our goal, because the rest will follow.
When a mother and father parent with the same agenda and discipline style, a happier and safer environment is created for the children as they understand their boundaries. When parents are divided in their parenting style it can cause a lot of problems with kids being confused and lacking the safety of consistency. In a situation where there has been a divorce, the parenting strategy still needs to remain intact as far as possible.
Have you experienced the battle of waking your child up in the morning to go to school? Sometimes even an early riser will procrastinate getting out of bed with various delay tactics. The good news is: You’re not alone.
Should I go back to my dad's house after seeing some pictures of naked women in "dirty" magazines that he left lying around the living room? This experience was very upsetting to me. My parents are divorced, but I have a close relationship with my father and spend every other weekend at his house. After seeing what I saw, I don't think I want to go back there anymore. How should I handle this?
Parents, imagine the gut-wrenching feeling you would have at the thought of a babysitter abusing your child. Leaving our children in the care of another requires a sense of trust in that person, so when that trust becomes questionable there’s the reason for major concern.
When should a parent be concerned about a child’s introverted behavior? On the next Family Matters we’ll be discussing the possibilities of deeper issues related to a child isolating him or herself,
It’s not easy for a divorced parent to stay well connected with his or her children when the court has ruled custody in favor of your ex, and you only see the children for a day or two every other week.
Becoming a parent for the first time might cause you to feel a little anxious, or maybe even scared to the bone. But the unknown of your next adventure with your offspring shouldn’t have to cause you sleepless nights, wracking your brain as to how you’re going to manage the extra responsibility.
Is it wise and healthy for your marriage when you accept ‘friend’ requests from old flames on social media? Some might say, there’s absolutely no harm in staying in touch, while others may have stories to tell of those online friendships causing havoc in their marriages.
Every parent wants their child to listen well, follow instructions and be able to have a meaningful conversation with them. But, in so many homes, there are nagging parents and defiant children facing up against one another on a daily basis. We’ll talk about ways to effectively communicate with kids.
How do I deal with the reality of having lost all physical attraction for my severely overweight husband? I've tried to be encouraging and understanding. I've made healthy meals for us, offered to exercise with him, and listened empathetically to his frustrations for years, but he hasn't shown interest in doing anything to change his situation. I don't think he's depressed, but all he wants to do is eat and sit around and and watch TV. It's gotten to where sexual intimacy is just a loving act of service on my part – there's no pleasure.
Our very own family members can be the most difficult individuals to get along with at times. On the next Family Matters we’ll discuss what to do about a father’s improper behavior towards his daughter-in-law.
Do you think you’d be able to admit to your kids that you’re in the process of getting help for porn addiction? Most parents will be saying an emphatic “No” to that question. But what if we told you that being open and honest with your children in matters such as this could have a profoundly positive influence on their lives.
There’s a huge amount of emotional turmoil that children go through when divorce happens, and they will act out in various ways in order to attempt to deal with the hurt and loss. When a new partner comes onto the scene, this adds another aspect to what the child has to deal with.
Has your child ever had an outburst and said something that shocked you to the core? A lot of the time the words have the little foundation and can be written off to emotions running high, but when should we be concerned that something greater is at play?
Do you find yourself feeling anxious about life? Are you fearful about future events, or do you find yourself unable to control your restless mind? If any of the things mentioned describes where you are at, you’ll want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters where we’ll discuss what anxiety disorders are and how they can be treated.
We’ll be talking about the online world of anorexia support groups and the potential dangers of these Pro-Ana websites, you won’t want to miss this.
If your child is being exposed to online chat rooms and other social media sites you are going to want to stay tuned for the next Family Matters. We’ll be discussing how much freedom is appropriate, and where precautionary measures need to be taken in order to protect your child from potential harm.
How does one warn a teenage daughter of the potential pitfalls of spending time with an older guy, even if she claims that they are purely friends? Most teen girls don’t want to hear this kind of advice, so one has to be very careful with the approach. We’ll be discussing a situation in which a mom needs to voice her concerns and still maintain the relationship.
There are always concerns about the impact of divorce on children, but most people don’t actually know the far-reaching effects of such an event in the life of a child, through to adulthood.
Dealing with our finances according to Christian principles implies a number of things. One is that Christians are expected to tithe, see 2 Chronicles 31:4&5. Christians are told to take care of the orphan and the widow. They are also commanded to honor their mother and father and to care for those within their household, read 1 Timothy 5:8. We’ll discuss what the Bible has to say about using our resources to care for aging parents.
Are you struggling with sibling rivalry in your home? Is there one child who constantly dominates another? This scenario is not unusual, but it’s also difficult to manage.
How would you respond to an announcement from one of your children that they identify as a “gay Christian’? We’ll be responding to a mother whose son made just such a declaration on the next Family Matters.
For husbands and wives, the marital bed can be an area of contention. There seem to be cultural norms that have crept into our thinking, or misguided ideas on what is Biblically appropriate in terms of sexual expression.
Breakdowns in family relationships, unfortunately, happen all the time, sometimes without an actual event taking place that causes the division. We’ll be discussing how to go about making repairs to broken relationships with family members.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. (Prov 16:9 NIV) Isn’t this proverb exactly right? We may have ideas of how we want our life to go, but the Lord will determine a plan for our lives.
Am I saved by faith or good works? As a new Christian, I was relieved to hear that salvation doesn't depend on works, but solely on God's gift of grace. But then someone told me that "faith without works is dead" and that God cares as much about my actions as He does about my beliefs. Now I'm worried. Maybe I'm not "doing" enough to get into heaven. What do you think? Can you help me understand what seems like a contradiction?
How can I encourage my parents to stop spoiling our children? Grandma and Grandpa give my kids whatever they ask for, sometimes in complete disregard of my wishes. I don't want to alienate my parents, but I've got to do something. Any ideas?
As a father, what are some of the key roles that I play in the life of my daughter? What areas in her life should I focus on and what are some things I can do to create a healthy relationship between us?
Can you help me "let go" of my son who is heading off to study at university? I'm worried about the challenges he'll be facing on his own – challenges to his faith and his moral values, not to mention the practical challenges of living on his own for the first time. We've always been a close-knit family, and sometimes the thought of seeing him go is almost too much for me. In fact, I've been lying awake nights thinking about this. How can I deal with this transition?
It’s often extremely difficult for an alcoholic to admit that they are an addict and that they need help. Most people who have an issue with alcohol will deny the problem and continue on a downward spiral until perhaps it is too late to hold on to the relationship with their loved ones.
How can I adjust my schedule so as to bring about a healthier equalization between the time I spend at work and the time I devote to the rest of life's activities and demands? I've really tried to do this, but it seems that something suffers no matter what I do. Besides, I don't think I've ever met anyone who has been able to put it all together. What does a "balanced" life look like in your opinion? How can I have that kind of life?
One of the most common tactics of the enemy is to undermine the word of God and to play havoc with our minds, casting doubt and fear wherever he can. As Christians, we need to be aware of this tactic and the know-how to stand firm against it. We want to expand on this thought in the next Family Matters.
How do I, as a student, prepare myself to be a godly wife and mother? I'm a single woman in my mid-twenties, pursuing a graduate degree in literature at university. While I enjoy my studies and view them as important in preparing me for a future career in teaching, there's another sense in which I regard all of this as "Plan B": my real desire, the most earnest prayer of my heart, is that the Lord will give me a godly Christian husband someday. Meanwhile, I'm spending most of my time in an environment that's filled with feminist ideas and far from helpful to my long-range family-oriented goals. How can I resist these feminist messages? And how do I prepare to be a wife and mother while at the same time preparing for a possible teaching career?
How do we locate a qualified marriage counselor? Do you have any recommendations? My spouse and I need help, but we don't know who to see or what to look for.
How can I hold on to my faith in God when things go wrong? As a Christian, I know that I'm supposed to "give thanks in all things" and look to the Lord for my daily needs. Yet I've been through some devastating experiences over the past year. How can I be thankful and trust God at a time like this?
It can be very difficult to know how to stand in the gap and care for a friend who is grieving the loss of a loved one. We often don’t know how to treat people who are grieving or in emotional pain, and so we shy away from the responsibility. If you want to be the kind of person who offers the right kind of sympathy and gives a friend in need the space to grieve well.
How should I respond to the discovery that an adult member of the extended family of a friend has been forcing one of the children to engage in sexual acts with him? I don't want to intrude in other people's business, but now that I'm in possession of this information I feel responsible to do something about it. Do you have any recommendations?
Did you know that most children find just as much, or even more, joy in the little things as they do in life's big events? So if you’re aiming to cultivate family togetherness with your kids, activities like eating a special breakfast, playing games, or singing silly songs in the car could turn out to be some of the most memorable highlights of your kids' childhood years.
How can our family make time to eat together when we're so busy? I'd really like to achieve this goal, but we face so many obstacles in making it happen, I'm almost afraid to try. Busy schedules are the rule in our household, and mine is no exception. By the time I get off work, battle rush hour traffic, and finally arrive at home, it's already 6:00 in the evening. At that point I know that if I make the effort to prepare a nutritious dinner, my family will be starving and the night will be half gone before I can get it on the table. How do I get around this challenge?
It commonly believed that to be an alcoholic you have to drink excessively and consume alcohol almost everyday but this isn't necessary true, in fact it possible to be an alcoholic without even knowing it. We'll discuss what we mean in this episode.
What does the Bible have to say about poverty and giving to the poor? I want to have a God-honoring attitude on this matter, but to be honest, as a new Christian I've been confused by some of the differing opinions and ideas I've heard. Do you consider this kind of activity to be an important part of the Christian life?
If you know of someone close to you who is depressed you are going to want to listen in to the next Family Matters where we’ll be discussing the risk factors and warning signs of depression and suicide.
My parents recently got divorced because my mom was having an affair. Since then, she's moved in with this other man and plans to marry him within a few weeks. My husband and I live out of state, and it's been very difficult to deal with all of this. My mom is angry with me for not embracing her boyfriend with open arms. She's threatening to boycott family functions unless he is welcomed to take part, but frankly, I don't want to welcome him. I think I'm struggling to work out how I "feel" before I make up my mind how to behave. Does that make sense? What do you think? Should I be more accepting of my mom's decision? Should I readily accept her new husband?
What do you do about a kid who attacks other people with his teeth? Our strong-willed toddler has been displaying this negative behavior with increasing frequency over the past couple of months. How do we put a stop to it?
If you are the mother of a married child, you’ll understand that the relationship status has changed a great deal. Your adult child is no longer your responsibility in terms of looking after but is now in a family of his or her own. But if there are things in the relationship with the new spouse that seems unhealthy and concerning, when is it appropriate to offer your opinion or advice?
What kind of treatments or therapies are available to kids who suffer from Sensory Processing Disorder? We're fostering a boy from an abusive, high-risk background. After several consultations with an occupational therapist we've come to the conclusion that many of his most aggravating behavioral problems can be traced to sensory-based issues.
Is it my place to get involved if I'm convinced that the physical environment in my son's house has become unsafe and unhealthy for my grandchild? I love my son and daughter-in-law, but I'm worried about their ten-month-old daughter's health. The house is piled with trash, the floors are filthy, there's month-old pizza stuck to the carpet and dirty diapers are left lying in every corner. To prevent my granddaughter from getting into these messes, they keep her in an infant seat most of the time - even though she's old enough to start crawling.
Is your family one of those that loves to joke and laugh a lot? Do you find yourselves making fun of other family members to entertain everyone? Poking fun at others for a laugh can nurture your family bond. However, if dealt with in the wrong way, teasing one another can lead to serious insecurities among family members.
So many young people who are in romantic relationships find that they’re struggling with keeping themselves pure before marriage. The Bible has clear-cut scriptures on the matter, which some try to argue are outdated.
Teen suicide is on the rise, as youngsters fall prey to negative thinking and find themselves in a vicious cycle of depression and feelings of hopelessness. We’ll talk about how you can come alongside a grieving friend who has lost a loved one to suicide.
In this day and age with the increased use of technology and devices, as well as parents working long hours to support their families, time spent with our kids is being greatly affected, and unfortunately, the research is showing the negative impact of this lifestyle on the family as a whole. Many parents believe that if they can just provide well for their kids and give them the things that they ask for, they’re doing a good enough job at parenting,
Maintaining healthy relationships with your adult children and their new spouses can be tricky. On the next Family Matters, we’ll give guidance to a couple who have become estranged from their son and daughter-in-law and are unsure how to proceed with making amends to the rift in the relationship.
It’s always tough for a mom to say goodbye to her adult child when he or she decides to fly the nest and begins to tackle life as a grown up. But when that adult child is struggling to support himself and is generally not coping with the responsibility of life on his own, a mother often wants to step in and rescue him.
For a parent, it’s difficult to stand on the sidelines and watch your child make poor choices in their friendships. Your child’s social environment is a big deal because those that surround you are able to influence you.
Aside from the obvious physical distinctions, what are the essential differences between male and female? I'm disturbed by all of the gender-bending and -blending that's been promoted in society over the past few decades. I believe there are unique differences between the sexes that should be affirmed and celebrated. At the same time, I don't know exactly how to respond when friends on the other side of this issue challenge me to identify and describe them. Can you help me?
What's your opinion of babies sleeping with their parents? A friend of mine believes that the so-called "Family Bed" is beneficial for every member of the household. She even claims that this practice can prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and provide other health benefits. Is she right?
Last time on Family Matters we were responding to a cry for help from one of our listeners who feels like a loser and has lost hope in this life. A plea like this really touches our hearts at a deep level and we always want to step in and help as much as we can.
Have you ever felt as though your life is falling apart and there’s no hope for you? These kinds of feelings are not to be taken lightly and should be assessed by an outsider who can offer a different perspective on the situation.
Is twelve years old too young for a girl to be expressing a keen interest in boys? My husband and I have a difference of opinion on this point. Our daughter and her best friend like to talk about "cute" boys and often tease each other about who has a crush on whom. To me this seems like normal preteen behavior. My husband, on the other hand, feels that she is too young and that such activity will lead to worse behavior when she is older. I respect my husband very much and want to maintain solidarity with him. At the same time, I can't help wondering whether he's being too strict. What do you think?
Dealing with your child’s behavior at home is one thing, but when the pre-school teacher contacts you to talk about his or her behavior at school, you have another issue on your hands completely. We are not in control of the situation at school, and yet our parenting at home may be the cause of behavioral problems at school or during extra-mural activities.
Bringing two families together to form a new family is always tricky. There are all sorts of challenges that go along with blending a family, even down to the labels that are given to the new Mom or Dad.
When so many marital relationships end in divorce, why should I even bother tying the knot? It's hard to avoid the conclusion that the institution of matrimony has outlived its usefulness and doesn't mean much these days. Can you say anything to convince me otherwise?
Won't God protect me from temptation if I pray? Here's my reason for asking. Though I'm unaware of any immediate threat to the health and well-being of my marriage, I'm still afraid that, somehow, someday, I may trip up and fall into an adulterous affair. I recently heard a man confess that this very thing had happened to him in spite of his commitment to marital fidelity and in spite of the fact that he had prayed many times to avoid sexual sin. This scares me. Why would God refuse to answer such a prayer? It's not as if the guy was asking for a new car or a suitcase full of money. He wanted to be kept pure! Can I trust the Lord to answer my prayers and protect me from temptation or not?
With all the marriages that we see disintegrating around us, many young people must wonder if it's really worth it to get married at all. Well, we are certainly strong advocates for the sanctity of marriage, but we’d like to share some thoughts for those who are considering entering into this sacred bond.
Why can't I have a biblically based family with multiple partners? Most of the great men of the Bible – Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon – had many wives. Given your ministry's strong commitment to the Scriptures, I can't see why you're against things like polygamy and polyamory. I consider myself a polyamorous Christian. I love several different women, and there's no reason we can't build a strong family together on a foundation of consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy. When did the "change" occur that established marriage as a covenant relationship between one woman and one man?
In order to believe in an unseen God, we need to have faith. And although we may have faith, as human beings we can still find ourselves doubting God’s power at times. I think that many Christians throughout time have grappled with doubt, in fact, the bible has numerous accounts of those who doubted. We want to encourage those who have felt disqualified because of a lack of faith on the next Family Matters, stay tuned.
Historical cultural norms can have a great influence over family life and choices, but there’s a difference between culture and Biblical truth. When backing up our beliefs with scripture, we need to be careful that we look at the verses in context.
Biblical language can sometimes be difficult to decipher or interpret. It is full of imagery, comparisons, and complex descriptions. Bible scholars have poured over the words with fine-tooth combs to pull out the pearls of what God wants to tell His people through His word. Something that can take time for us to wrap our heads around, is the Bible’s description of God’s relationship with a man being one of intimacy, compared with marriage, and using sexual language. This has caused much dissension among Christians and non-believers alike.
How should I talk with my adolescent son about a friend of his who recently took his own life? The boy was hardly more than an acquaintance, but I know that this incident has impacted my teenager deeply. Can you help me figure out the best way to approach the subject with him?
Self-harm is a major problem among teens and it needs to be taken very seriously. No matter how severe the cut wounds are, there needs to be greater awareness of the underlying circumstances.
I've just become a victim of rape. I desperately need help and don't know where to find it – what should I do now? So far, I haven't told my parents, and no one else knows. I'm ashamed to admit it to friends and family, and I'm afraid I'll only make a bad situation worse if I go to the police. Meanwhile, I feel so dirty, guilty, worthless, desperate, and scared that I can hardly think or make a move.
Last time, we began talking about how to approach a marital separation and covered: making sure that it’s the best and only solution at the time, putting a plan in place, and informing the children in an age-appropriate way. We want to talk more about how to care for your children’s emotions during the separation as well as what steps to take as individuals during your time apart.
So many couples are struggling in their marriage relationships, and separation or divorce seems to be the only solution to end the pain. We’re going to tackle the tough subject of how to approach a marital separation on the next two programs of Family Matters
Last time, we were addressing the topic of same-sex attractions and helping our listeners understand that feelings don’t determine identity and identity labels should not be so easily appointed by society at large.
There are so many thoughts, feelings, and questions that circulate in a person's mind if they find themselves being attracted to someone of the same sex. Society would jump to conclusions and slap a label on your head in a heartbeat, but what is the truth, and what underlying factors are at play.
Should I feel uneasy about leaving my little one with a babysitter or dropping him off at the church nursery for an hour or so? I'm a new parent, and I don't know if it's healthy for my child to be separated from me, even for relatively short periods of time. What's your perspective on this?
The repercussions of an affair are always devastating. The consequences of such actions have a far-reaching impact, and the offended spouse has every reason to feel apprehensive about moving forward in the marriage.
Recovering from a traumatic experience is not a simple thing to do, it takes time and intentionality.
Did you know that among those aged 65 and older, the divorce rate has roughly tripled since 1990, and the reason for this spike is closely related to empty nest syndrome. Couples consciously choose to stay together until the children are out on their own and after that, they often realize that their marriage relationship is in such a bad state that they opt-out. We’d like to offer a few thoughts on how couples can be better prepared for the empty nest years.
hy should I go to University? The way I see it, college isn't shaping the next generation into productive adults and leaders, and it doesn't help individual students achieve their personal goals. Why bury yourself in debt just because everyone else expects you to pursue "higher education"? Why waste several years of your life earning a worthless piece of paper only to end up working the same job alongside your high-school graduate friends? It just doesn't make sense.
We’re going to tackle a fairly controversial subject as we help a family better understand tomboyish tendencies and transgenderism. There are really good parenting tips in general in what we’re about to say.
It's not every day that you see Dad doing the school run, after-school activities, homework, and preparing dinner, but in some cases, this is the role Dads are finding themselves in.
So many marriages are being affected by porn addiction, and a lot of them end in divorce. The reason for this is that the road to recovery can be arduous and the spouse of the addict loses hope in having a normal relationship ever again. We’ll explore some of the steps that can be taken to overcome the addiction and to move forward with a recommitted marriage relationship.
In modern society, it has become increasingly common for both moms and dads to work outside of the home, and it’s overwhelmingly evident that busyness has become the norm for so many families. The words: ‘Oh, we’ve just been so busy!’ are almost everybody’s mantra. And with parents adopting this kind of lifestyle it’s often the Grandparents that get assigned the duties of fetching and carrying and taking care of the children. This arrangement can be extremely helpful for the family, but not when the Grandparents feel as though they’re being taken advantage of, or are enabling an over-busy lifestyle.
If you’re a parent of school-going children you may look back on the potty training years and breathe a sigh of relief, but if you’re in that phase of life with your child right now, you possibly feel like this mountain is insurmountable. Well, the good news is that you don’t often see school-going children wearing nappies because eventually, each child learns to use the toilet.
The subject of discipline is a hot topic among most parents, and it’s an area where parents can feel overwhelmed and underqualified. What a lot of Moms and Dads don’t realize is that effective discipline takes effort and follow-through, and when there’s inconsistency, children end up feeling unsure of their boundaries.
Do you have any encouragement for moms who are employed outside the home? I'm aware that Focus on the Family spends a lot of time affirming stay-at-home moms in their role, but I'm wondering if you can offer any support to those of us who have to leave home every day simply in order to help pay the bills.
A relationship that ends because of unfaithfulness is always a serious blow, but when there are children involved it makes the situation so much more difficult and devastating.
When it comes to disciplining children, parents need to have a clear-cut understanding of the appropriate methods and purposes of discipline. To discipline is to teach, and that is why harsh reactions to bad behavior are never healthy, although it can be so easy to fall into that trap when a child is defiantly disobedient.
Biblical instruction and expectations for Christian giving can sometimes be misinterpreted or refuted when modern Christians believe that the laws laid down by Moses have been abolished by Christ, leaving us with only two new commandments to live by. The idea of tithing, therefore, seems outdated, and many Christians try to argue its relevance today. Interestingly, the New Testament has a lot to say about giving, and in fact, it further challenges those who have attempted to get away without tithing based on wanting to live by the New Testament instructions.
Pursuing a serious relationship with someone who you feel is a potential marriage partner is always a big decision. This is because marriage is a lifetime commitment that doesn’t only involve you and your spouse but your respective families too.
As a ministry, Focus on the Family is not intent on vocalizing our stance on controversial Christian topics, however, when asked a question regarding our perspective on a greatly disputed issue, we will offer as much insight and clarity on what we believe the bible clearly states.
If there’s one thing that can demoralize a man’s spirit, it’s unemployment and feeling unable to provide for the family. When a man loses his job and struggles to regain employment, it really takes its toll on his sense of worth and success.
Creating a balance of work and family life can be an extremely challenging task. If we focus all our energy on our careers, then our family life suffers, but we want to make enough money to provide for our families.
Blended families take extra effort when it comes to relationships and discipline with stepchildren.
There is not a single human being on this planet that has not, or is not facing challenges. The way that we view these challenges in light of Christianity is perhaps what separates us, even within Christian circles. God is so intricately woven into the tapestry of our lives that it seems impossible to exclude Him from any part of it.
he sting of infidelity is not something to be taken lightly. The wounds go deep and therefore need a special kind of spiritual healing. It would be negligent and foolish to believe that any spouse would be able to simply move on from such a transgression.
It's not easy to be married to someone who is addicted to a substance of any kind, marijuana included. It’s lonely, painful, and isolating, just to name a few of the negative factors. Even the simplest everyday tasks can become painful trials when your partner is in the habit of tuning out and living in a drug-induced world. Add children to the mix, and a whole new set of concerns emerge.
Very often an addict is slow to realize the severity of their problem, and will become defensive if the word addict is even mentioned. Now, you may think I’m referring to substance abuse and addiction, but today I’m referring to an addiction that’s catching a lot of people off guard: that of Computer Game Addiction.
The nature of pornography is that is objectifies a person and takes away the beauty of a relationship between human beings by warping it into something completely different. If a spouse is making an effort to walk away from porn addiction and re-kindle the marriage relationship, then all aspects of pornography need to be removed from the situation. .
Have you ever heard yourself say something a little like this: “You are not leaving the dining table until you have eaten your dinner”, or, “Why didn’t you eat the school lunch I packed for you?, or, “No, you cannot have a sweetie, it’s 9 in the morning and you still haven’t eaten your breakfast!” I’m sure many parents can relate to at least one of these scenarios, and even more so if your child happens to be a particularly picky eater. As parents we can often become panicked about our child not eating, and conflict between spouses sometimes arises as a result of different opinions on the matter.
n this day and age there are very few families that are choosing to have a single income household with mom staying home to look after the young kids. It is a brave decision when a career woman gives up her day job to be a stay-at-home mom, but studies show that there are numerous benefits to children who have an emotionally and physically present mother as they grow up. We want to talk more about the thought process and logistical steps that you can take if you’ve made the decision to stay at home with your kids.
There are so many families in our country that have been broken by bad relationships, death of a parent or both parents or just never had the chance to be a family in the first place. Countless children are being raised by their grandparents because of these undesirable circumstances and although it is a huge blessing that the children remain in the care of a family member, there are definitely going to be challenges attached to the unconventional family situation.
How can we enjoy the lighter side of life and encourage laughter in our home but do it in an appropriate and edifying way? Many of our friends find amusement in things that I personally consider offensive. Can you suggest any helpful guidelines for healthy humor within the family?
Many believers and non-believers alike are asking big questions like: Why get married? What is the big deal about divorce and why should one remain faithful to one person for the rest of their lives?
Should I marry my pregnant girlfriend? Our relationship has always been fine, but I've never really thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives. This changes everything. She will be keeping and raising the baby, and I'd like to do my fair share, as well. My girlfriend has some major issues in life, and I'm certain that we'd face huge obstacles if we were to marry right now. In spite of this, I'm thinking about proposing. Many of my Christian friends have encouraged me to do this. What advice do you have?
Where does the Bible speak about the "sanctity of human life?" I've noticed that the more widely a phrase or slogan gets thrown around, the fuzzier its meaning seems to become. This one is a good example. I'm forever hearing Christians talk about "the sanctity of human life" – in church, on Christian radio and television, and in fund-raising letters from non-profit ministries. In spite of this, I'm not sure I understand exactly what it refers to or where it comes from. Is there a biblical basis for this idea?
What's the best way to handle the revelation of an affair when one guilty spouse has come clean or been exposed, but the husband or wife of the other unfaithful party is still in the dark? My wife and a man from our church were involved with one another for over four years until I discovered their relationship three months ago. My wife has since cut off the relationship and we've moved to another church. We're working through the painful aftermath, but most people are unaware of what's been going on.
Do you have any advice for a woman whose husband is on the verge of getting out of jail? My spouse has been serving a three-year sentence and is scheduled to come home next month. I'm eager to have him back and resume a normal relationship, but at the same time I can't help feeling anxious and apprehensive. I don't know exactly what to expect. Can you help me?
How should we parent a grown child when there are also two younger children in the home? We have three kids altogether: a boy and a girl who are still in high school, and an older son in his mid-20s. The oldest has had some tough luck recently and needs to move back home for a while. We realize that he's an adult and that we'll have to treat him differently in terms of rules and expectations, but we're concerned about the effect this might have on his younger brother and sister. Do you have any advice?
It’s sometimes difficult to get a sense of really counting for God when your everyday life tends to feel quite mundane. Christians often question how effective they are being in God’s kingdom, trying desperately to pursue their ‘calling’ and ending up resenting their career.
If your child is suffering from a mental illness and you have not sought professional help, you’re going to need to. The prevalence of mental health disorders in children and teens is on the rise, and the way to help is to seek professional counsel.
When a couple decides to get married, there should be no secrets between them that may surface in their marriage and trip them up. So, what happens if you have chosen to stay sexually pure before marriage but your partner is no longer a virgin? We’ll discuss how this can affect the relationship, and how couples can overcome this kind of hurdle.
Depression is a very real and debilitating illness that needs to be taken seriously. Many people may not understand the nature of depression and how it should be treated, and that is why we are going to talk about what depression looks like, and how to help someone who is suffering from this disease.
Being a homemaker and a stay at home mom may not feel like it’s an economically viable job, in the sense that one does not bring in an income. Many mothers have wrestled with this fact, questioning their decision to stay home as well as the validity of homemaking as an official vocation. We’d like to advocate for the role of a mother in the home and dispel any ideas that a homemaker does not have a large contribution to the economy of society.
When it comes to planning a wedding there are all sorts of areas in which conflict can arise. With two families coming together to make this important day special, there will always be differences in opinion and family culture.
Have you noticed that your child has an annoying nervous habit that doesn’t seem to be going away? Kids pick up little habits that become a part of who they are for a while, and then usually give them up after time. So, when should you be concerned about those drumming fingers, that nail-biting, or that little twitch?
In light of the fact that re-marriage is an extremely common phenomenon, the blended family is one that requires a lot of time and energy in order to create a unit that operates in harmony. The factors that make the work harder are things like past hurts and baggage, former spouses, and perhaps fear of making the same mistakes again. These things don’t mean that it’s not worth trying, they’re just a part of the process.
Extra-marital affairs can have devastating consequences! And although the right thing to do is be honest about the misdemeanor, when should one just keep their mouth shut?
What kind of standards of conduct and behavior should parents impose upon an adult child living in their home? Our single 29-year-old daughter lives with us in separate quarters off of the main house. She knows how deeply we feel about marriage as the only appropriate context for sexual expression, but she's made a habit of having her boyfriend sleep over on a regular basis. I know I can't force her to change her behavior, and I don't want to lose the influence we have with her or hurt our relationship by making this an issue. But it does bother and concern us. What should we do?
Is it ever appropriate for a woman to question her husband's judgment or to oppose his decisions when she believes he's in the wrong? If so, how does this fit in with Ephesians 5:22, where Paul says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord?" Are there any biblical examples of wives who took this kind of stance?
How is a mild-tempered, cooperative child likely to be impacted by the presence of a defiant and strong-willed sibling in the home? My oldest daughter is a model child-pleasant, cheerful, and agreeable. Her brother is the exact opposite. I may contact you about him some other time; believe me, there's plenty to say. But for the time being, I can't help feeling concerned about the effects his behavior and personality may be having on his sister. What do I need to know about the unique needs of a quiet, compliant child?
How many times will God forgive me and take me back again? I'm a Christian, but my walk with the Lord has been an on-and-off thing for a number of years. There have been many occasions when I've walked away from the Lord only to return to Him again after falling on my face and realizing the error of my ways. This is a recurring pattern in my life. At first, I didn't think much about it, but lately, I've been wondering: is it possible that I've used up my allotted "quota" of forgiveness? Have I worn out God's patience? Is this something I need to be worried about?
How do I deal with the brokenness of divorce and make a new life for my kids and myself? I'll admit that I've made some bad choices. One of the worst was walking away from my family when my marriage got too tough to deal with. I realize now that my absence has not only brought me personal pain but has had a negative impact on the lives of my kids. What's done is done, and there is nothing that will undo the harm I've caused. I feel extremely guilty. Where do I go from here?
As a recovering addict, how can I find someone to walk with me through the difficult beginning stages of the healing process? Do you have any advice on choosing an accountability partner and what this relationship should look like? I'd really appreciate any suggestions you can offer.
Why should I "submit" to a government that I believe is moving in the wrong direction? I love my country and want to cooperate with the political system, but I'm struggling to understand what the Bible says on this subject. How in the world can the apostle Paul tell Christians to submit to the authorities (Romans 13:1-7) when we know for a fact that many human governments are corrupt and unjust? What should a believer do when he feels that his own government is "ungodly"?
Is marital sex really more satisfying? I'm in a difficult marriage, and one of the biggest sore spots between me and my wife is the whole issue of sex. I feel deprived. Sometimes I'm even tempted to explore the possibility of getting my needs met somewhere else. I read an article claiming that married couples are actually the most sexually satisfied people in the entire population – not the single swingers with lots of sexual partners. I find that hard to believe! I don't want to be unfaithful to my wife, but I can't deny my feelings or squelch my sexual desires. Is there a better way to resolve the situation I'm in?
What's the difference between obsessive-compulsive disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder? I'm confused about the terminology, which complicates my efforts to find help for my spouse, who (in my opinion) exhibits a number of obsessive-compulsive traits. Can you clarify the difference for me?
Is there any way I can overcome my life-long struggle with same-sex attraction? I've tried to resist, but it seems inevitable that I will eventually act on these feelings. What should I do?
s a parent, how should I deal with my children when mass shootings, natural disasters, and other tragic events involving loss of life occur? Should I do my best to shield them from this information – an almost impossible task in the face of today's constant news media cycle? Or should I try to talk to them about it?
All married couples face the enormous decision of if and when they would like to have children. There are various different methods for preventing pregnancy, which, of course, allows a couple to wait for a while after marriage before starting a family, in between having more kids, or when choosing not to have children. The dilemma with all of this is that there is quite a lot of controversy around the use of contraceptives. We’ll take a look at different birth control methods, and offer support from a Christian perspective.
Have you ever been fed up with your spouse’s friends? It’s hard to get excited about a social event when you really don’t have much in common with the crowd of people your spouse likes to hang out with. However, in marriage, there has to be some give and take, and perhaps there’s no benefit in denying your spouse that time with the friends of his or her choice.
Divorce is never an easy road to walk, and when there are kids involved you can expect an even harder slog. Children are profoundly affected by their parents splitting up, and Mom and Dad need to know how best to deal with their kids’ scared and confused behavior.
Depression is a clinical condition that affects the psyche of a person in varying degrees, but it also affects the family members in a considerable way. We’ll take an honest look at ways to minimize the impact of depression.
There is so much to be said for the enormous role that a father plays in his daughter’s life, and especially in her confidence. A father shapes the way a girl sees herself in society, and so he has a great influence on feeding her self-worth.
We are regularly asked by parents, how they should go about dealing with a child who has been a victim of bullying and cyber-bullying. There are a number of articles that give guidelines and advice to those parents on our website at safamily.co.za. But, today we want to speak to the teens themselves who are being faced with cyber-bullying. We’ve heard from many teens that are struggling to live productive and normal lives because they are fearful of the bullies at school or those they’re connected with on social media. Cyber-bullying is not okay, and we’ll talk more about ways to deal with the onslaught of negative messages and threats on the next Family Matters.
Children read about the Devil in the bible and hear stories told in Sunday School, and sometimes they begin to have nightmares and uncontrollable fears of this unseen enemy. Parents can do a lot to allay those fears by referencing what God’s word says in the Bible.
Should a grown child still have to listen to instructions from Mom and Dad? When does a parent’s role change? These are such common questions as children reach an age of independence, but what does the Bible have to say about this?
As human beings, we are so fallible, and our hearts and minds can lead us astray very easily if we don’t keep them in check and surrendered to God. As Christians, we have been rescued out of slavery to sin and reconciled to God, but that does not mean that sinful thought never crosses our minds. We still have to make a conscious decision daily to take up our cross and follow Christ. In marriage, we have to guard our hearts against any sinful desire that may threaten our relationship with our spouse.
When it comes to infidelity in a marriage relationship, there can be no grey area. A spouse should never be asked to turn a blind eye to extramarital relationships, because the very nature of marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman, and this vow should not be undermined.
When a young boy chooses to play with girls’ toys or loves to join in girly fantasy games, is this a warning sign that he may be struggling with gender identification? We’re discussing this in a little more detail
There is so much to be said for the enormous role that a father plays in his daughter’s life, and especially in her confidence. A father shapes the way a girl sees herself in society, and so he has a great influence on feeding her self-worth.
A common question for couples, particularly women, who may be struggling in their marriage is: ‘Why is sex so important?’ When there is a lack of interest in sex or a big difference in a couple’s sexual libidos, this is often a recipe for disaster in the relationship, and couples who find themselves in this situation should seek to find the appropriate help before it’s too late.
In every marriage, there are going to be conflicts and frustrations between husband and wife, and sometimes an outside perspective can be just what you need to get back on track. But one needs to be careful about where that counsel comes from because even family members can often be a hindrance if they are overly invested.
When life takes a turn for the worse, and you experience suffering and heartache, it’s very difficult to hear the words, “God works all things for the good”, because things may not look good at all to you. Going through trials and tribulation is never easy, and yet the bible tells us that we will have to endure hardship in this life.
How can I help my small child deal with his overwhelming fear of insects? He's always been a little scared of bugs, but recently he was bitten by something at school during snack time, and now he gets hysterical every time the class is supposed to go outside. What's the solution?
Is it wrong for a married person to have a friend of the opposite sex? While my spouse was away on a week-long missions trip, I enlisted a male friend from work to come over and help me care for our eighteen-month-old daughter. In the process, we ended up watching movies together or working on office-related projects after my daughter went to bed. When my husband came home, he was very unhappy about this and expressed fear that I might be involved in an affair. He seems to think it's impossible for two adults of the opposite sex to have a non-sexual relationship. He's even asked that I never spend time with this co-worker again. I'm cooperating with his request, but I can't help feeling resentful of his unfounded suspicions. What do you think?
How can we stop our four-year-old from stealing? It seems like everywhere we go – church, stores, museums, friends' houses – he walks out with something that doesn't belong to him. I have a feeling that he's just being irresponsible he puts things in his pocket and then forgets about them. My husband and I have talked to him several times about why this behavior is wrong. We've told him what the Bible has to say about stealing. We've even tried punishing him. But he keeps doing it. What should we do now?
Do you have any ideas for helping a pre-teen child who is seriously overweight? He loves food and gets extremely disappointed when we turn down his requests for snacks and treats. He also becomes depressed after several days of healthy eating. How can we reverse this trend?
Do you think it's a good idea for husbands and wives to have regular activities apart from each other with their friends of the same sex? My husband feels a deep need to get together with his guy friends a couple of times each month, but I'd rather spend most of my time with him. I get out with some girlfriends a couple of times a year, and this seems to be more than sufficient for me. What are your thoughts?
Is there anything I can do to help my expectant wife deal with the severe mood swings she's been experiencing? She's about three-quarters of the way through her pregnancy, and lately she's been terribly depressed. It's beginning to take a real toll on our relationship. I've heard a lot about post-partum depression, but is it normal for a woman to be feeling blue before the arrival of a baby?
What can we do to encourage our adult son to grow up? He's made some very poor choices in terms of lifestyle, jobs, living arrangements, and friends. After raising him in the Christian faith, we're deeply disappointed. At the same time, we can't help feeling guilty and wondering where we went wrong. Is there anything we can do to reverse the situation without overstepping appropriate boundaries?
Have you ever heard the parent say that the job of parenting is the walk in the park, probably not, because even those who are parenting a compliant, easy-going child can find it challenging at times? And so when we hear from a Mom whose at the end of her rope because she’s parenting a strong-willed child, we try to offer as much encouragement and support as possible. We are speaking more about this in this episode.
Should I consider remarrying my ex-spouse for the sake of our child? We are both Christians, but we recently got divorced. Over the past few weeks I've become increasingly concerned about the impact of this family breakup upon our preschooler. What do you think I should do?
Should children be allowed to have smart phones or mobile devices? Our oldest has started driving and all of our kids are constantly on the move. My spouse thinks they need phones in order to stay better connected with us. Do you think this is a good idea?
A family that has suffered the devastating effects of alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual abuse, or any other addictive behavior will likely be affected far into the future, if not forever. As Christians, however, we believe that God can heal brokenness and broken relationships because He is the restorer of our souls (Psalm 23). In this Family Matters episode, we’ll talk about rebuilding relationships after addiction, and what is to be expected in the process.
Stepfamilies, or as they are now called, Blended Families are becoming more and more common in society. The occurrence of two families becoming one naturally has challenges that will need to be overcome. Depending on the history of relationships, size of the joining families, and ages and stages of the children involved, the blended family can take on many different facets. In this Family Matters episode, we’ll take a look at one situation in which a daughter and step-father are having problems in their relationship with one another.
Marriage is a divine institution created by God, and there are so many beautiful and life-giving benefits from committing to a partner in marriage. Unfortunately with the increase in divorce over the last number of decades, the view of marriage has been tainted for many. It’s extremely common for a child of a divorced parent to become skeptical about the value of marriage. We’d like to offer biblical as well as researched perspectives on the importance of marriage in this Family Matters episode.
Should there be any concern when a boy shows interest in the arts over sports, or if he prefers to engage in quiet activities rather than boisterous play? Stereotypes and culture have put standards in place that can short-circuit a child’s ingrained abilities. We’ll discuss this topic from a biblical perspective in this Family Matters episode.
We can sometimes wonder what it is that God wants us to do with our lives. We know that he wants us to live for Him, but when it comes to the details, it’s often difficult to figure out what steps to take to even get started. We’ll cover more on this subject in this Family Matters episode.
If a wife feels that her husband’s eyes tend to wander whenever an attractive woman walks by, what does she do? Keep silent and pray that nothing more is going on, or address the situation before it gets out of control? We’d like to suggest the latter and we’ll go into more detail in this Family Matters episode.
Pre-marital cohabitation has become increasingly common over the last while, and in fact, the statistics show that in our country fewer people are actually choosing to get married at all. The view of marriage has begun to change, but what are the over-arching benefits of marriage, and why should couples still aspire to marriage? We’ll talk more about this in this episode.
We usually find ourselves talking about abuse where the wife is the victim, but on today’s Family Matters we’ll help a husband who is suffering physical abuse from his wife, and give universal steps that must be taken no matter what the abuse and who the perpetrator is.
The number of abortions taking place in our country annually is astounding and the documented figures don’t even include illegal abortions that take place outside of official facilities. There are very few cases where a mother has to choose her own health over the life of her baby, and this is the topic we’ll discuss in this Family Matters episode.
Adoption is a beautiful thing that is close to God’s heart. He has adopted every believer into his family, as his word says in Roman’s 8, that we have been adopted as sons and daughters. When a family considers the adoption of a child, there is so much that comes into play, much preparation and planning takes place beforehand. But what happens when the child who is to be adopted has experienced abuse? These children so desperately need a loving and safe home, and a family to belong to, but the journey can be quite challenging along the way for the parents. We want to speak a little more about this topic in this Family Matters episode.