Flying Free: Recent Episodes
Natalie Hoffman
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
Today’s guest is Laurie Sullivan, a survivor of emotional abuse and sexual infidelity at the hands of her husband, a prominent leader in several churches they attended. Laurie outlines her story from getting married at age nineteen to a man she loathed in childhood to eventually finding freedom years later.
Christ is at the center of Laurie’s story, showing Himself to her throughout her custody battle for her children and her third marriage to a good man. Listen in to this eventful story of Laurie’s journey out from abuse.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Why Laurie married a man she was originally disgusted with.
- How a pencil and a taco can demonstrate the concept of gaslighting.
- Why dating someone for a long time doesn’t necessarily keep you safe from emotional abuse. Laurie’s second marriage is proof.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with myself and God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today’s episode is taken from part three where I begin to discover who I am, who God is, and what my responsibilities really are as I start to make my own life-altering decisions. Decisions that have changed my life in the best possible ways. Listen to part three and see if you can find yourself in my story.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today I’m sharing a little bit of part two, this time written from the perspectives of different parts of me during my adult years. You’ll meet Freaked, Rosie, Melancholy, Rude, and more. If you’ve ever felt like part of you believes one thing and another part of you believes something completely different, rest assured, you aren’t alone!
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today, I’m sharing a little bit of part one, written from the perspective of little Natalie.
Grab a cup of tea and a blanket, and snuggle in to listen to this little girl’s experience. You might even hear your own inner child trying to tell you something important.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
You’ve probably read countless books and articles about marriage, how to be a good Christian wife, but if you’re in an abusive marriage, I’m here to tell you that these reading materials probably don’t apply to you. Many of the authors writing them don’t have any knowledge regarding abuse in Christian marriages, so there are no caveats, exceptions, or words for those women who are struggling with an abusive spouse.
In today’s episode, I take apart an article on marriage that I recently read to prove my point that these articles really are not made for women who are dealing with an emotional abuser. The article may be applicable for a woman in a normal, run-of-the-mill Christian marriage, but for those of you who don’t find yourselves in a marriage like that, this article is probably not going to be for you. Let’s talk about why.
Key Points From This Episode:
- How I would read the article through the eyes of a woman in a “normal” marriage.
- A funny anecdote about socks on the floor.
- How I would read the article through the eyes of a woman in an emotionally abusive marriage.
- Satan’s main goal (and God’s main goal, too).
- Books and resources that ARE for women in emotionally abusive marriages.
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
"Till death do us part." Those words haunt you.
The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.
But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.
And he's counting on it.
You need to listen if:
- You're overcome with desperation to leave and consumed by guilt to stay
- Your husband is the greatest source of pain and harm in your life
- You are responsible for everything, and you are constantly sacrificing your physical health, life dreams, and sanity to make your marriage work (to no avail)
- You've begun to wonder just how much of his behavior is intentional and whether he truly wants to destroy you, piece by piece
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here*
*Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman 1990. Copyright Guilford Press. Reprinted with permission of The Guilford Press
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Jessica Nagy is joining us today to talk about how to raise children to be resilient, even when their dad is destructive. No matter if your kids are spending time alone with their dad at his house because you are separated or divorced or if they are spending time with their dad while you are present, there is a lot of trauma that comes with having an emotionally abusive dad, and we as moms need to know how to help our kids become resilient in the face of this trauma.
In this episode, you will learn about co-regulation (you can regulate yourself right alongside your kids!), practical techniques to help your kids regulate their emotions and develop resilience, find out how to download a free PDF with even more resources, and more. If you are a mother who is also a survivor of emotional abuse, this episode is just for you.
Key Points From This Episode:
- The story behind Mosaic Motherhood, Jessica’s website.
- Why kids actually aren’t as resilient as we may trick ourselves to believe they are.
- The reason why you probably won’t be able to get full custody of your kids (and how you can use your time and resources to prepare them for going over to their dad’s instead!)
- How to co-regulate and why it’s so important for your kids AND for you.
- Why healing ourselves and modeling healing work can be life-changing for your children.
- Why community is so vital for our families.
- Some good news: you only have to be a good enough parent 50% of the time (woot woot!)
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
In today’s episode, we are going to be talking about the deep sadness that survivors experience as they begin to wake up to their reality and see the truth about their relationship. I get it — I was there. It took me a while to truly wake up to my reality, and when I did, that reality hit me like a ton of bricks. It was painful.
Let’s talk about noticing and normalizing our pain so that we can move from grief a bit more quickly than if we just stuffed it down, ignoring it and drowning it out. We all have pain — the question is, how are you going to deal with yours?
Key Points From This Episode:
- Why it took me so long to accept the painful truth of my abusive marriage.
- Different ways you may grieve once you realize you are in an abusive marriage.
- A great burn analogy.
- How to notice and normalize our pain.
- The definition of “disenfranchised grief.”
- How I do my “grief work” now.
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Cognitive dissonance seems like it would be a “bad” thing, right? It can actually be a very good thing, and vital to our growth! Take a deep breath - it’s okay if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance.
In this episode, I break down what cognitive dissonance really is, why women in emotionally abusive marriages may experience a lot of cognitive dissonance, how cognitive dissonance can help us create better, healthier thoughts, and I also share three fun illustrations of cognitive dissonance for all you listeners who love a good word picture. Ready? Let’s dive in.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Three definitions of cognitive dissonance.
- Three reasons why we may not want to change what we believe or what we do. “Fear of pain” is the key phase here.
- Some examples of cognitive dissonance that I see every day in the women within my private membership program, Flying Free.
- Why changing our thinking can be so, so good.
- Three illustrations of cognitive dissonance and how we can choose the thoughts we want to believe.
- Why I delete the hate mail I get immediately, sometimes without even reading it. That was a fun rabbit trail.
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Let’s answer some more listener questions today! These questions include, “How do I respond to my husband who says that ‘Your body belongs to me, and you don't have any biblical grounds to say no when I want sex’?” “How can we continue to do the work of unraveling purity culture's effects if we're not in a healthy marriage?” and “What type of counselor should I be looking for?”
If you’re looking for some Biblical truth, a few snarky comments, and some very practical advice, you’re looking in the right place.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Some wise responses to an abusive husband who mistakenly believes that you owe him sex whenever he wants.
- A plethora of verses to combat the lie that “your body belongs to your husband.”
- How to unravel purity culture’s long-lasting effects on us while still in an abusive marriage.
- How to find a good counselor.
- Why it’s not your responsibility to find your abusive husband a counselor.
- Why people who are NOT in abusive marriages NEVER wonder, “Am I in an abusive marriage?”
- How to “break up” with your counselor. Spoiler alert: no sappy break-up letters necessary.
Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Let’s get practical today. In this episode, I answer four listener questions by directing you to the best resources I can offer from the Flying Free Podcast. These questions range from “At what point do you refuse to have sex with your husband if he is emotionally abusive?” to “Any recommendations or resources as I go into divorce court?”
After you listen to the episode, be sure to go down to the “Related Resources” section of the show notes to grab all the links to the podcast episodes that are recommended. They are absolute gems!
Key Points From This Episode:
- How the Flying Free Sisterhood can help change your whole life.
- Every episode we’ve done with abuse survivors who are thriving on the other side of divorce.
- What “in-house” separation can look like.
- Why the Bible can’t possibly share EVERY practical answer we have ever looked for.
- Our best episodes on sex and abuse within marriage.
- Our key episodes on divorce and the whole hairy process.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
When twelve women come together to write a book about rising above narcissistic abuse, you know they are a force to be reckoned with. Today’s episode is a sneak-peak into their stories and how they escaped their abusers, what their healing journey has been like since then, and more.
Join Ina Johnson Meyers, her co-authors, and yours truly as we discuss red flags, how religion can keep you in bondage, and how these women gained the courage to leave their abusive situations. Spoiler alert: God is at the center of all of these women’s stories, and He wants to give you the courage to rise above narcissistic abuse, too.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Why writing “Rising Above Narcissistic Abuse” was easy or difficult for each individual author.
- A conversation about red flags in relationships.
- Why listening to your body is so important.
- Setting boundaries with a narcissistic.
- What the breaking point was for some of these women when it came to leaving their abusive, narcissistic partner.
- Why relationship over religion is key.
- How the church can re-abuse victims.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Last week we explored the Myers-Briggs personality typology, and today we have a special guest, Stacey Wynn, talking with us about another personality typology: the Enneagram. Not only will the Enneagram inform you about who you are as a person and what motivates you, but it will also help point you toward where you can grow and develop.
No matter what you’ve heard about the Enneagram in the past, come along for an authentic conversation about the history of the Enneagram, its benefits, and how it can help you heal after abuse.
Key Points From This Episode:
- The history of the Enneagram and why we don’t need to fear it.
- Why the Enneagram is anything but a box for our personalities (and how we can grow within our Enneagram type!)
- How the Enneagram helped Stacey in her healing journey after her divorce.
- Why no one Enneagram type is more prone to finding themselves in an abusive situation than another type.
- How you can apply the Enneagram to your whole life — personal, professional, and spiritual.
- What your next steps could be if you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Have you ever been sitting in a women’s Bible study when all of a sudden the Bible study curriculum asks a leading question, taking the verses you just read completely out of context, and now you feel confused and upset but like you need to nod your head “yes” to the rubbish you just heard?
Or have you ever wanted to leave your abusive marriage, but you find yourself continuously coming back to your abuser because 1. You feel bad for him 2. Your biblical counselor told you that you can’t leave and/or 3. You’re afraid God will punish you if you leave?
You’re not alone in this battle. Come sit down and listen while I answer some listener questions in an episode that will teach you all about how to NOT twist the Bible, how to NOT take responsibility for your abuser’s emotions, and how to NOT resist change and pain. Because change and pain can be really, really good things.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Why certain Bible study curriculum can be extremely harmful instead of helpful.
- A healthy interpretation of Psalm 15.
- Why our programming and beliefs dictate our feelings and actions.
- A red flag to look out for in a counselor.
- Why change and pain can be good things.
- The many reasons why God won’t “punish” you if you get a divorce.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Would you play a card game with a cheater? Once maybe, right? Then, it’s a solid H-E-double-hockey-stick no.
What about for a month? A year? Five years? Twenty?
Would you tell your daughter to play with a cheater? Your best friend?
I’m gonna guess the answer is “abso-freaking-lutely not!”
So why do we think we “owe” a husband who has shown himself to be abusive any more of our precious time?
In this episode, I answer listener questions:
- Should you give more time to an abusive husband if you “knew better” (you were married to an abuser before and thought you’d chosen better this time)?
- Should you give more time to an abusive husband if you realized what he was shortly after getting married?
- What are some really covert emotional abuse tactics that may not be obvious in a short-term relationship?
- Which person do you need to be in love with once you start dating/considering marriage again? (It’s not the person with a wiener.)
- Why is self-love stupid, selfish, and unbiblical? (Risks of believing this include but are not limited to getting run over again and again by other people until you’re almost dead and spending years of your life feeling miserable)
- When and why should you share your “side of the story” with others?
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Learning about emotional and spiritual abuse is dangerous.
You start to see patterns in your marriage, your family, your friendships, your church…and your faith. You start to understand why God often doesn’t feel safe. Why you feel like a constant disappointment. A regular failure. A busted, broken, rejection-worthy woman.
You were taught that God is love…
And that God wants (and demands) perfection. That he loves you IN SPITE of you. That he has to look at Jesus to accept you. That negative emotions are a sign you’re in sin. And a high self-esteem (not hating yourself) is a sign you’re in other sin. That you deserve punishment even when you’re giving 100% to please him.
There’s no winning…
…Until we explore the core of how we approach EVERY relationship in our lives: through attachment style.
Krispin Mayfield and I explore healing our attachment to God:
- Why your faith struggles are likely not a lack of character but a result of poor theology (that you had no choice in learning)
- What attachment theory is and the three types of attachment
- How the three attachment types play out (with examples)
- A horrifying experiment that explains a lot of our freak-outs
- The connection between self-loathing and pleasing God (in most Christian communities)
- What’s so magical about getting things right only 30% of the time
- Resources for healing your attachment to God (see below)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
I'd like to introduce you to my friend Myrtle. She's a backseat driver. The kind you can't ignore.
She's MY backseat driver. And yours. Myrtle thinks she's the help-iest thing ever.
She’s a big reason behind many of our behavior patterns. The places and ways we're stuck. Our self-sabotage. Myrtle is the explanation for a lot of our recurrent fears. She’s loud, proud, and she never shuts up. She provides the same old thoughts that plague us, day after day, year after year.
What do we do with Myrtle? (Not to mention the bus full of other backseat drivers, in this case, younger versions of yourself.)
It starts with realizing there are “no bad parts” in us, including Myrtle. I’ll tell you all about it in this episode, one of five upcoming sessions featured in the Flying Free program.
The breakthroughs:
- Who Mad Mama is (and why she’s trying to protect me and you)
- Why I decided to become my own mother (sounds crazy, huh?)
- How to “drive your car” in a different direction when you have a freak-out session
- The thought exercise I did to heal from the trauma of losing my relationship with my mother
- A better approach to losing your relationship with your older/adult kids (a common heartbreaking occurrence for divorced women of faith)
- A definition of trauma (it’s different for everybody)
- What firefighters and “I’d like to speak to the manager” have to do with each other
- Why trying to deal with multiple thoughts at a time doesn’t work (and that’s okay!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
I remember thinking that if I could just hit on the right inflection in my voice maybe or the correct tone or the perfect combination of words or the right attitude — you know, one of subservience and humility so as not to trigger his fragile ego and bring down his wrath — I’d finally get through. He’d finally get it. The wall would come crumbling down.
Nope.
When I finally filed for divorce, he suddenly said he’d seen the light. He’s willing to go to counseling. If I don’t give him this “final” chance (there have been so many “final” chances), I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough.
Is this you?
This episode defines “enough”:
- What a 10-year-old kid and an iPad have to do with an abusive husband and therapy
- Why there’s not much hope for abusers
- The reason your body’s “ick” reaction to your husband’s Hail Mary shows it’s wiser than your mental second-guessing
- How many chances I gave my ex-husband, and how mad it made God when I stopped (Spoiler Alert: It didn’t make God mad)
- Why feeling conflicted in your emotionally abusive marriage is COMPLETELY NORMAL
- What DARVO is (and what it has to do with cats and ducks)
- Why you’re asking the wrong questions
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
I remember thinking that if I could just hit on the right inflection in my voice maybe or the correct tone or the perfect combination of words or the right attitude — you know, one of subservience and humility so as not to trigger his fragile ego and bring down his wrath — I’d finally get through. He’d finally get it. The wall would come crumbling down.
Nope.
When I finally filed for divorce, he suddenly said he’d seen the light. He’s willing to go to counseling. If I don’t give him this “final” chance (there have been so many “final” chances), I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough.
Is this you?
This episode defines “enough”:
- What a 10-year-old kid and an iPad have to do with an abusive husband and therapy
- Why there’s not much hope for abusers
- The reason your body’s “ick” reaction to your husband’s Hail Mary shows it’s wiser than your mental second-guessing
- How many chances I gave my ex-husband, and how mad it made God when I stopped (Spoiler Alert: It didn’t make God mad)
- Why feeling conflicted in your emotionally abusive marriage is COMPLETELY NORMAL
- What DARVO is (and what it has to do with cats and ducks)
- Why you’re asking the wrong questions
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
I remember thinking that if I could just hit on the right inflection in my voice maybe or the correct tone or the perfect combination of words or the right attitude — you know, one of subservience and humility so as not to trigger his fragile ego and bring down his wrath — I’d finally get through. He’d finally get it. The wall would come crumbling down.
Nope.
When I finally filed for divorce, he suddenly said he’d seen the light. He’s willing to go to counseling. If I don’t give him this “final” chance (there have been so many “final” chances), I’ll feel like I didn’t do enough.
Is this you?
This episode defines “enough”:
- What a 10-year-old kid and an iPad have to do with an abusive husband and therapy
- Why there’s not much hope for abusers
- The reason your body’s “ick” reaction to your husband’s Hail Mary shows it’s wiser than your mental second-guessing
- How many chances I gave my ex-husband, and how mad it made God when I stopped (Spoiler Alert: It didn’t make God mad)
- Why feeling conflicted in your emotionally abusive marriage is COMPLETELY NORMAL
- What DARVO is (and what it has to do with cats and ducks)
- Why you’re asking the wrong questions
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“Unless you forgive and come back to me, you’re disobeying God and the Bible!”
If I were your abusive husband, I’d say the same thing. Why? Cause then I’d get what I want. Woohoo! Isn’t that what the Bible is all about?
Oh, begging your pardon. I was basing my opinion off how I see most church leaders and many legalistic Christians approach the Bible.
Which means that if you’re looking for advice on whether you should reconcile with your abusive husband — and what reconciliation really means — you’re going to get a whole charcuterie board of different answers. From biased people. Trying to interpret text that doesn’t give a full answer on… basically anything.
Consider this alternative: Ask a different question and provide your own answer.
Sound heretical? Then keep reading (and listening).
In this episode, I spill some tasty tea on:
- 3 thoughts I have about about a husband who demands reconciliation (one involves an ax)
- Why people who accuse others of being unbiblical are actually doing exactly what they’re accusing others of doing (whew, that was a mouthful)
- The limitations of the Bible
- How to use the Bible to make a case for anything (genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, political ideologies, etc.)
- The danger of worshiping the Bible
- Why relying on the Bible for all the answers means you’re going to be constantly confused, shoved in different directions, and easily manipulated
- What we have that’s much better than the Bible
- What the size of God has to do with the questions like “Do I have to go back?” and “Do I have grounds for divorce?"
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“You don’t know God,” the elder leaned forward and said to me. He knew I was preparing to divorce my emotionally abusive husband.
My body began to tremble. My voice shook.
I realized later that he was right. His god was vindictive and cruel, like a mythological Zeus.
The God I know — deeply, intimately, since I was a child — is gentle and kind and leads me away from fear and control.
That was the first church meeting I ever walked out of. And the last one I ever had with those elders.
It’s also when I realized that I could fly free. So can you.
In this episode with licensed marriage and family therapist Naomi Norton, we discuss:
- 11 dominant fears the Christian community uses to influence (CONTROL) women
- Why being connected to the physical (your body, emotions) is so important
- How to prioritize, process, and honor fear
- What the church usually says about fear (and why their perspective is SO DANGEROUS)
- How being aware of fear (the types, the ways they surface) can HELP US PROTECT ourselves
- Why moving toward fear is often NOT a good or godly response
- The reason you love God but you’re afraid of him (and how to get rid of that fear)
- How to respond to people (often church people) who USE FEAR TO CONTROL US
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
If marriage is for life, then the only way out is death. Right?
I’ve been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times. I used to wonder that question myself.
Marriage IS for life, but not in the way you’ve been told. It’s for the sake of bringing life TO you. And when it’s destroying you instead, THERE IS A WAY OUT.
But the very Bible verses written to bring protection to abused women and rebuke to abusive men have been twisted and turned on their heads…until the words “for life” are a curse and death seems like the only escape (whether his or yours).
Allow me to right these warped words and help you fly free from your despair.
In this episode:
- Why you might reconsider telling church leaders about your husband’s abusive behavior
- The four reasons women consider “telling on” their husbands to church leaders (and the problems with each)
- The four possible responses you can expect when you report your abusive husband’s behavior to church leaders (helping the victim is the rarest)
- Why the “God hates divorce” verse is COMPLETELY WRONG and what it really says
- The 8 things you don’t owe ANYONE (at church or otherwise) when it comes to leaving your marriage
- The only two things you absolutely need to get out of your marriage (and they’re available no matter your circumstances)
- Why wishing your abusive husband were dead doesn’t mean you’re an evil person
- How I went from lying on a bathroom floor wishing for death to flying free, remarried, with a new home, a new family, and an amazing job (and my story isn’t unique among Flying Free and Flying Higher survivors)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I’m going to be ninety-two next month, and I have waited my entire life for a book like this.”
A woman said this to Tiffany after she spoke to a Sunday School class about her book, “Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith.”
Many Christians are told their doubts are a sign they haven’t prayed or fasted enough. That their spiritual frustrations are an indication they’re backsliding. That they just don’t have enough faith.
Do you feel a sense of futility over ever measuring up as a Christian? Ever pleasing God? Ever nailing down the formula for blessing or meeting the mark for making yourself small enough?
Tiffany wrote “Gaslighted by God” to give a voice to the pain of devoted Christians whose faith is cracking under the abuse of legalism, who are desperately clinging to beliefs that are hurting them, and who need to know it’s not their fault.
In this episode:
- What spiritual anxiety is and how it manifests
- The significance of Tiffany screaming at a church sign
- Why the Christian “answer” for everything is so damaging
- The similarities between a space chimp and shell-shocked WWI veterans and what we experience because of legalistic theology
- How Jesus expanded the definitions of sin to protect the vulnerable, not add a bigger burden
- So much more!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I’m going to be ninety-two next month, and I have waited my entire life for a book like this.”
A woman said this to Tiffany after she spoke to a Sunday School class about her book, “Gaslighted by God: Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith.”
Many Christians are told their doubts are a sign they haven’t prayed or fasted enough. That their spiritual frustrations are an indication they’re backsliding. That they just don’t have enough faith.
Do you feel a sense of futility over ever measuring up as a Christian? Ever pleasing God? Ever nailing down the formula for blessing or meeting the mark for making yourself small enough?
Tiffany wrote “Gaslighted by God” to give a voice to the pain of devoted Christians whose faith is cracking under the abuse of legalism, who are desperately clinging to beliefs that are hurting them, and who need to know it’s not their fault.
In this episode:
- What spiritual anxiety is and how it manifests
- The significance of Tiffany screaming at a church sign
- Why the Christian “answer” for everything is so damaging
- The similarities between a space chimp and shell-shocked WWI veterans and what we experience because of legalistic theology
- How Jesus expanded the definitions of sin to protect the vulnerable, not add a bigger burden
- So much more!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
How do you feel about accountability? Like it, love it, want some more of it?
Or maybe it’s like medicine to you — icky but necessary.
Hold on to your booty, cause I’ve got an opinion on it too.
I think it’s a made-up practice that got a “virtue” sticker slapped on it. I think it arrests our development into emotional adulthood. In fact, I’d say accountability does more harm than good.
And it can never match the power of internal motivation for true, lasting life change.
Christian accountability conditions us to believe:
- We are helpless and foolish
- We don’t have the capacity for self-motivation or self-leadership
- We have to be externally motivated by something outside of ourselves (like pain or the humiliation of confessing our faults/sins/failures)
- We can't make our own decisions
- We have to get guidance from and obey other people (who usually have penises)
- We are flirting with danger if we think independently
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?
Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)
Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.
Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.
For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.
The Rundown:
- When somebody kicks our shin over and over: We LEAVE THE ROOM
- When religious people demand we save a corrupt “marriage”: We CALL BULLCRAP
- When others say we can’t get divorced: We BREAK OUT THE LAW
- When we are about to take the leap: We MAKE SURE WE’RE SURE
- When we jump off the cliff (and get a divorce): We GET CAUGHT BY A LOVING GOD
- When emotionally and spiritually abused women need help recovering, they get dozens of Butterfly stories and workshops, and 12 courses including “Divorce Basis” and “The 90-Day Escape Plan” in Flying Free
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?
Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)
Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.
Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.
For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.
The Rundown:
- When somebody kicks our shin over and over: We LEAVE THE ROOM
- When religious people demand we save a corrupt “marriage”: We CALL BULLCRAP
- When others say we can’t get divorced: We BREAK OUT THE LAW
- When we are about to take the leap: We MAKE SURE WE’RE SURE
- When we jump off the cliff (and get a divorce): We GET CAUGHT BY A LOVING GOD
- When emotionally and spiritually abused women need help recovering, they get dozens of Butterfly stories and workshops, and 12 courses including “Divorce Basis” and “The 90-Day Escape Plan” in Flying Free
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?
Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)
Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.
Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.
For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.
The Rundown:
- When somebody kicks our shin over and over: We LEAVE THE ROOM
- When religious people demand we save a corrupt “marriage”: We CALL BULLCRAP
- When others say we can’t get divorced: We BREAK OUT THE LAW
- When we are about to take the leap: We MAKE SURE WE’RE SURE
- When we jump off the cliff (and get a divorce): We GET CAUGHT BY A LOVING GOD
- When emotionally and spiritually abused women need help recovering, they get dozens of Butterfly stories and workshops, and 12 courses including “Divorce Basis” and “The 90-Day Escape Plan” in Flying Free
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Imagine a mother who stares at her baby.. She won’t smile. Won’t look it in the eye. Doesn’t react when it holds its arms out to be held. Refuses to comfort it when it cries. The baby screams and sobs. The mother won’t move.
Now multiply that cruelty across each thousands of days. Switch the mother for a husband. Change the baby to a wife.
Other people may throw out the “But does he hit you?” strawman (only extremes, only obvious physical, qualifiable harm counts as abuse). But that baby knows better. You know better. Your desolate heart knows better.
The most devastating hurts don’t show on the outside.
In this episode:
- The different flavors of abuse vs. the different ways victims react
- Reaction #1: Fighting Back
- Reaction #2: Hiding
- Reaction #3: Freezing
- Reaction #4 Appeasing
- How a still face and a baby show the impact of covert emotional abuse
- Why trying to prevent emotional pain only creates more pain
- Responses that lead to healing, freedom, and peace
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Imagine a mother who stares at her baby.. She won’t smile. Won’t look it in the eye. Doesn’t react when it holds its arms out to be held. Refuses to comfort it when it cries. The baby screams and sobs. The mother won’t move.
Now multiply that cruelty across each thousands of days. Switch the mother for a husband. Change the baby to a wife.
Other people may throw out the “But does he hit you?” strawman (only extremes, only obvious physical, qualifiable harm counts as abuse). But that baby knows better. You know better. Your desolate heart knows better.
The most devastating hurts don’t show on the outside.
In this episode:
- The different flavors of abuse vs. the different ways victims react
- Reaction #1: Fighting Back
- Reaction #2: Hiding
- Reaction #3: Freezing
- Reaction #4 Appeasing
- How a still face and a baby show the impact of covert emotional abuse
- Why trying to prevent emotional pain only creates more pain
- Responses that lead to healing, freedom, and peace
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I feel like a massive failure as a Christian and a mom. Like a puppet—and he’s pulling the strings.”
Too many women finally muster up the courage to leave their abusive husbands and face an even more painful betrayal: Their exes turn their own children against them. Lying, manipulating, bribing, even using threats in order to get the kids on their side.
It’s sickening. And it can feel like there’s no hope, no justice, and no way forward.
If this is you—wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, no matter how bad things are—I need you to stop and listen to me.
Because I’ve seen terrible cases of parental alienation turn around. I’ve lived it.
No matter what happens: Your future depends on cutting the strings of your puppeteer.
In this episode:
- How to start making the most of your rights as a parent (without guilt or fear)
- Why a lack of focus is often the biggest problem (it’s the perfect setup for your ex to succeed at his crappy mind games)
- How to turn the volume of his voice down (and come to trust your own)
- The story of 1-hour a week visitation making all the difference in a restored relationship between a mom and her son
- The danger of believing your ex-husband (remember the term “self-fulfilling prophecy”?)
- Why your ex acts like a quack (because he’s a duck, not a cat)
- A tale as old as time: The ex who is suddenly the sweetest person in the world (grab your bullshit-vision goggles)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Register to be part of our fall Is It Me? book groups HERE!
For women escaping emotionally abusive husbands, divorce often feels like a scarlet “A” on their chest. Or “D.” They wonder if they’ll be marked for life.
And worse, they fear how their kids will suffer the consequences.
First, because they lived in a home of chaos and pain and trauma. Second, because they’ll have to face the assumptions and judgment of other people.
A “broken” family. A single-parent household. “Sinful” parents. Not “true” Christians. Bad influences. The sort of mom and kids other people whisper about.
Is this your fear? Your reality? Then I’ve got great news and lots of it.
Listen in for:
- The reason our brains like to borrow trouble (which can be helpful or silly)
- Why protecting our kids can actually backfire (no problems/pain = most people become asshats)
- A quick reminder (and a big number) to help you feel less like an outcast
- A Flying Higher member’s story about reaching emotional peace
- A crappy definition of forgiveness: 1. I will never bring this up to you again, 2. I will never bring this up to others again, 3. I will never bring this up to myself again. (Where’s the vomit emoji when you need it?)
- A definition of forgiveness that’s not icky, that lets you breathe and doesn’t demand you betray yourself or let someone harm you
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Register to be part of our fall Is It Me? book groups HERE!
Bonus episode giving you all the details you need to know to prepare and register for our fall "Is It Me?" book groups! I'll give you the scoop, and you'll get to hear from three of our summer book group members who share a little bit about their experiences being in a book group.
Registration is open September 5-14, 2022 and groups start on September 22.
To learn more and register go to https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/book-group
Bonus episode giving you all the details you need to know to prepare and register for our fall "Is It Me?" book groups! I'll give you the scoop, and you'll get to hear from three of our summer book group members who share a little bit about their experiences being in a book group.
Registration is open September 5-14, 2022 and groups start on September 22.
To learn more and register go to https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/book-group
“I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this,” she said. “You expect harm from people who only harm you. From him. Not the ones who know you, who grew up with you, who you went to church with.”
Do you know the pain of rejection by your family, friends, and church? I do. I’ve lost entire nights of sleep swimming in that pain. It’s mind-numbing. Excruciating.
A listener told me that after being rejected by her church and family, she felt like she was standing on an alien ship watching her home planet being blown up. Then she asked the questions you might be wondering too:
How do we survive such great loss? Is there any healing for grief that goes deeper than your bones? Hurts that nearly fracture your body?
Yes, dear one. But the truth is that as painful as the facts are, your hurt is increased 100 fold by the story you’re telling yourself about it. And the meaning you’re giving that story.
From one heart-weary woman to another, here’s the scoop on the most important story of your life..and the secret to changing it.
Because rejection hasn’t ended the good of your story. Not by a long shot.
In this episode:
- A prickly cactus, Jesus getting slapped, lots of Pirate’s Booty, and 8 billion people. If that’s not enough to tickle your fancy…
- How what happened (the facts) and what we make it mean ( the story) creates our emotions (pain)
- Why beliefs create the result (often extra pain)
- The way to discover what you believe (the whole story)
- 2 things that have helped me after losing most of my relationships (based on things I CAN’T lose)
- How Jesus’ pain and his responses are great examples for us to follow
- The one relationship you have from which all other relationships flow (SURPRISE: It’s not with God)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this,” she said. “You expect harm from people who only harm you. From him. Not the ones who know you, who grew up with you, who you went to church with.”
Do you know the pain of rejection by your family, friends, and church? I do. I’ve lost entire nights of sleep swimming in that pain. It’s mind-numbing. Excruciating.
A listener told me that after being rejected by her church and family, she felt like she was standing on an alien ship watching her home planet being blown up. Then she asked the questions you might be wondering too:
How do we survive such great loss? Is there any healing for grief that goes deeper than your bones? Hurts that nearly fracture your body?
Yes, dear one. But the truth is that as painful as the facts are, your hurt is increased 100 fold by the story you’re telling yourself about it. And the meaning you’re giving that story.
From one heart-weary woman to another, here’s the scoop on the most important story of your life..and the secret to changing it.
Because rejection hasn’t ended the good of your story. Not by a long shot.
In this episode:
- A prickly cactus, Jesus getting slapped, lots of Pirate’s Booty, and 8 billion people. If that’s not enough to tickle your fancy…
- How what happened (the facts) and what we make it mean ( the story) creates our emotions (pain)
- Why beliefs create the result (often extra pain)
- The way to discover what you believe (the whole story)
- 2 things that have helped me after losing most of my relationships (based on things I CAN’T lose)
- How Jesus’ pain and his responses are great examples for us to follow
- The one relationship you have from which all other relationships flow (SURPRISE: It’s not with God)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse.
It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one.
For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear.
Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the bullcrap if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde?
I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships.
By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic.
The seven deal-breakers:
- Cannot accept negative feedback
- Little or no empathy
- Has to have his own way
- Communicates passive-aggressively (plus 14 EXAMPLES/QUESTIONS to help you identify passive-aggressive behavior)
- Prioritizes his own interests (including not respecting your time, refusing to be honest or discuss his past, bad with money, a boundary-breaker, and other examples)
- Won’t take responsibility for his behavior (plus 5 EXAMPLES/QUESTIONS to help you see whether this is true about him)
- He consumes you; the relationship is slowly destroying your self-worth, your friendships, your potential, and your interests (plus 3 QUESTIONS to ask yourself to know if this is true)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse.
It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one.
For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear.
Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the bullcrap if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde?
I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships.
By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic.
The seven deal-breakers:
- Cannot accept negative feedback
- Little or no empathy
- Has to have his own way
- Communicates passive-aggressively (plus 14 EXAMPLES/QUESTIONS to help you identify passive-aggressive behavior)
- Prioritizes his own interests (including not respecting your time, refusing to be honest or discuss his past, bad with money, a boundary-breaker, and other examples)
- Won’t take responsibility for his behavior (plus 5 EXAMPLES/QUESTIONS to help you see whether this is true about him)
- He consumes you; the relationship is slowly destroying your self-worth, your friendships, your potential, and your interests (plus 3 QUESTIONS to ask yourself to know if this is true)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Bonus episode (because this is important!)
With Tina Swithin's permission, I am sharing an article she wrote on her website here about why it's imperative that we do not use the word "alienation" in our court cases.
Please head over to her article, Please Stop Saying Alienation, to access the links mentioned in this podcast episode.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Is there poison in your home?
No, I don’t mean rat poison or toxic chemicals or asbestos. It’s words. On pages. In a book. One that’s given as a wedding gift. When times are tough. When you’re desperate. When you’ve run out of ideas and options to help your marriage and somebody gives you 336 pages of “hope.”
The poison is the answer ringing from every page of this book. You were, as Debi Pearl puts it, “Created to Be His Help Meet.” And lots of women have gulped it down, me included.
Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Sweet. Simple. Godly.
Because double standards and coercive control and whitewashed tombs are biblical, right?
In this interview with Chelsea Wells, she and I discuss the poisonous messages of Debi Pearl’s book before we toss them in the shredder.
The summary we recover-y:
- Women are responsible for their husband’s bad behavior. Period.
- Husbands have the authority to tell wives what to wear, where to go, whom to talk to, and how to spend her time.
- Wives shouldn’t have close friends–only their husbands.
- Women should submit to their husband when he’s a sex addict, adulterer, physically abusive, or refuses to work.
- Husbands have tiebreaker power in every situation.
- Wives have no rights in marriage.
- Your looks and how your family appears to the world matter much more than your health or safety or life.
- Women who want equality are bra-burning heathens who want to take over the world.
- The pièce de résistance: Single moms are the worst (it’s the haircuts and the tiredness).
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.
Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.
Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.
This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.
If you just started following along, check out Part 1 and Part 2, then skip back here for the grand finale. Because the last thing survivors want is for the abuse they survived to torment them into the future…and these episodes are a line in the sand.
In Part 3 of 3:
- Old Thought #1: Grief, sadness, anger, and anguish are too hard and can be sinful. I will avoid them.
- New Thought #1: There are no good or bad emotions. I will experience them in full without getting trapped.
- 3 more old thoughts and 3 more powerful new thoughts
- Why “dirty” pain is so overwhelming, but “clean” pain is manageable (and helpful!)
- What exiles, firefighters, and parents have to do with your brain after trauma
- Why regulating before responding is so important
- How to have curiosity instead of judgment (which greatly increases your chance of breaking negative thought patterns)
- The critical importance of community in changing your thoughts and results
- The FREE PDF DOWNLOAD for old thoughts vs. new thoughts
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I’ve got to share this with as many people as possible.” That’s what I decided when Amie showed me her thought work from Flying Higher.
What the heck is “thought work”? Well, I’ll answer your question with a question.
How often do you have the same thoughts? You know, the crappy ones. “Nothing will ever change. If I could just get him to see how much he’s hurting me. I have to wait for God to move; I can’t do anything about this. I need someone to come rescue me. I’m trapped. I’ll never heal.”
What if you had new beliefs that led to new emotions and new actions and an ENTIRE NEW LIFE?
I’m not blowing smoke up your tailpipe. The truth is: You could have all your problems solved right now, and you’d still be stuck if your thoughts didn’t change too. And they don’t on their own.
Our beliefs keep us in abuse. It’s only our beliefs that can free us. Thought work is the simple way to break free.
Want some clear evidence? I recorded three episodes’ worth—Amie’s story. It’s incredible, and one of many in the Sisterhood.
In Part 2 of 3:
- Old Thought: I help God change people with my words/actions.
- Old Thought: Conversations should lead to a resolution and common ground.
- Old Thought: If you love me, you’ll be there for me.
- Old Thought: Giving sex to make my husband happy is right and good.
- Old Thought: When people are angry with me, I HAVE to make it right.
- 5 of Amie’s New Thoughts (these were AMAZING; why do you think I couldn’t stop recording for two hours?)
- Bonus New Thought #1: Pushing people to change is abusive in its own way.
- Bonus New Thought #2: We can’t expect people to respect our boundaries.
- Bonus New Thought #3: Christian culture is codependent.
- The FREE PDF DOWNLOAD for old thoughts vs. new thoughts
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I’ve got to share this with as many people as possible.” That’s what I decided when Amie showed me her thought work from Flying Higher.
What the heck is “thought work”? Well, I’ll answer your question with a question.
How often do you have the same thoughts? You know, the crappy ones. “Nothing will ever change. If I could just get him to see how much he’s hurting me. I have to wait for God to move; I can’t do anything about this. I need someone to come rescue me. I’m trapped. I’ll never heal.”
What if you had new beliefs that led to new emotions and new actions and an ENTIRE NEW LIFE?
I’m not blowing smoke up your tailpipe. The truth is: You could have all your problems solved right now, and you’d still be stuck if your thoughts didn’t change too. And they don’t on their own.
Our beliefs keep us in abuse. It’s only our beliefs that can free us. Thought work is the simple way to break free.
Want some clear evidence? I recorded three episodes’ worth—Amie’s story. It’s incredible, and one of many in the Sisterhood.
In Part 2 of 3:
- Old Thought: I help God change people with my words/actions.
- Old Thought: Conversations should lead to a resolution and common ground.
- Old Thought: If you love me, you’ll be there for me.
- Old Thought: Giving sex to make my husband happy is right and good.
- Old Thought: When people are angry with me, I HAVE to make it right.
- 5 of Amie’s New Thoughts (these were AMAZING; why do you think I couldn’t stop recording for two hours?)
- Bonus New Thought #1: Pushing people to change is abusive in its own way.
- Bonus New Thought #2: We can’t expect people to respect our boundaries.
- Bonus New Thought #3: Christian culture is codependent.
- The FREE PDF DOWNLOAD for old thoughts vs. new thoughts
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“I would keep the peace or create peace at any cost. And a lot of the time, the cost was myself.”
Amie searched for love her entire life. But all she found were unsafe people. And all she learned was that love demanded everything and gave nothing but pain in return.
Despite this, Amie is a poster child for what’s possible after a life of abuse. She’s flourished in Flying Free and Flying Higher, moving from a caterpillar perspective to a butterfly perspective, from crawling to flying.
How? It all comes down to old thoughts versus new thoughts. Just like a caterpillar, Amie wove a cocoon of new thoughts to replace the ones that had led her into harm and kept her from living beyond her trauma.
What she learned is so powerful, so practical, and so encouraging, we talked for 2 hours. I broke our discussion into a 3-part podcast series, diving into exactly what Amie did and providing listeners the simple, downloadable resource she used to fly free.
Part 1 of this 3-part therapy session includes:
- Why Amie was terrified that Flying Free would not be a safe place for her
- How chameleons and trauma are related
- The FREE PDF DOWNLOAD for old thoughts vs. new thoughts (see below)
- Why the church’s definition of “community” is usually just icky enmeshment
- 2 old thoughts and 2 new thoughts from Amie’s worksheet (these are truth anvils, I tell you!)
- How Amie was robbing her ex-husband of his chrysalis when she thought she was loving him (super easy to do with our kids too)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
What do love, hate, and pain have in common?
Believe it or not: Being super ticked off. Anger.
I’m serious as a heart attack. Anger stems from either love, hate, or pain. Which means there are some pretty legitimate and useful reasons to be mad. As well as some that are just nasty or unhelpful.
So if you’ve been taught that anger is ungodly, wrong, or always a sign of bitterness, I suggest two things:
- Pull out the example of Jesus crafting a homemade whip and going mad dog in the temple. He dealt out the beatdown of the season. Ask people what they think of that anger. Was he just trying to encourage all those sleazy hawkers while flipping their tables over, tossing their money around, and driving their animals away? Maybe he should’ve prayed instead of taking his zeal to the streets?
- Listen to this episode. More motivation below.
The can’t-miss parts of this anger breakdown:
- Three analogies: A very bad macaroni-and cheese analogy, a better one about road rage, and a great one about puking.
- Three sources: An explanation of how love, hate, and pain trigger anger.
- Three examples: Honestly, I give a buttload of examples. It’s the deal of the century. Listening = tons of free drama-filled examples. Not as squeal-worthy as Jesus giving what for, but still muy bien.
- Three reasons: Why I WANT TO FEEL ANGRY (again, I give more than three reasons, but there’s no way I’m messing with the pattern I’ve created).
- Why anger from love is open but anger from hate is hidden and destructive (I ruined the pattern. Dang it.).
- My living nightmare. A dream that haunted me for years before becoming reality.
- Three drivers: How anger moves from a neutral emotion to meaning, and guides everything we do. (Eeeeh! We’re back to threes!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“Don’t try and church it up.”
Ever heard that piece of advice? It hits the crux of this episode right in the nethers: biblical manhood and biblical womanhood.
Author Aimee Bird offered a more refined and relevant version: “Just because you put the word ‘biblical’ in front of it doesn’t make it so. It’s not an adjective.”
If you’re listening to this podcast, I’d bet my milk money you've heard the terms “biblical manhood” and “biblical womanhood” 43,854 times or more, maybe in the past month alone.
They’re not standalones. They inform every aspect of your life as a Christian woman. Or so you’ve been taught. Maybe they’re just churched-up versions of junk — the overcooked vegetables on your theological dinner plate. The stain on your white blouse. The turd in your lemonade.
Maybe. You’ll have to listen to find out.
I interviewed Aimee in this fancy-pants episode, including:
- How churches slap Bible verses on the ugly puppy of misogyny
- What the heck the “eternal subordination of the Son” has to do with any of this (a lot, and it’s not as weird or highfalutin as you’d assume)
- The book of the Bible dominated by a woman (and the basis for Aimee’s book The Sexual Reformation)
- What happened when Aimee stepped too far out of her “role” as a woman (a tale as old as time)
- The two meanings of the word “role” and why the difference matters A LOT
- Several delicious plays on words (with a last name like “Byrd” and the ability to write so well, how could she resist?)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Did you know some people used to use the Bible to support slavery? They would tell slaves that it was God’s will.
Want to guess who those people were?
Huge surprise: slave owners.
It can be terrifying to have someone throw the book—the literal Bible—at you. But you know the saying “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire?” Well, in this case, “Where there’s confusion, there’s crap.” The kind of crap people throw out when they’re desperate to keep you under their thumb.
Instead of cowering in the face of their accusations and “biblical” nonsense, you can do a little math.
This episode does some figuring:
- The crappy calculation abusers use (they have an investment in saying dumb things)
- Theinverseresult of reading 1 Corinthians 6:1-10 for what it really means
- Theadditionbysubtraction you experience when you wake up to abuse (the more you learn, the more you lose…at first)
- The typicaltransactions of abusive relationships: You make constant deposits; they’re making constant withdrawals
- Theorderofoperation: You confront, they deny. Then they turn you into a goat (don’t worry, I’ll explain)
- Thetangent I go off on: My own story follows the same linegraph…and it’s why I can understand what you’re going through.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Do you wonder how he did it?
How your abuser tricked you and blindfolded your church? How he just keeps coming out on top, despite all the evidence pointing to what a sick, twisted, evil person he is?
Abuse doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It always involves the community. In this case: the church.
Wade Mullen staked his Ph.D. on the study of the hidden tactics of abuse, especially spiritual abuse within religious communities.
What he found were patterns of behavior. The slow and steady set-up for abuse to become a system, a system to become a theology, and a theology to become god.
Imagine with me: A relationship within a community where all the red flags (manipulation, lying, criticism) are called green flags and all the green flags (truth-telling, boundaries, self-respect) are called red flags.
It’s the heist of the century. And it’s working all too well.
Don’t miss out on this killer explanation:
- Why abuse always involves theft
- Why abuse always involves murder
- Why emotional abuse is just as bad or worse than other types of abuse
- The types of evil language abusers always use
- The four types of nice things abusers do (and why “kindness” from an abuser is always a WARNING SIGN)
- The reason laughter is a RED FLAG in an abusive relationship
- 6 things women need when they’re coming out of emotional and spiritual abuse (and a great place to get ALL of them)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
“This was the big whammy… My whole life had been centered around pleasing the abusive person…trying to meet their ever-changing expectations…I really didn’t know who I was anymore.”
Art therapist Jennifer Kramer practices what she paints. She’s a survivor of narcissistic abuse and now teaches an art therapy process she developed during her recovery.
She discovered that the most powerful part of art-making isn’t what we create — the final drawing or painting. It’s not about making something that looks pretty or gets displayed in an art gallery. It’s about the way art reconnects our minds and bodies and how it rebuilds an abuse survivor’s sense of identity.
Because the real masterpiece…is YOU.
Put on your listening ears and grab a crayon:
- What art therapy is (and isn’t)
- The emotions of art media (pencils can be comforting and paint can be overwhelming)
- Art-making and responsive writing: the left- and right-brain connection
- Why talking to your art is helpful (even if it feels weird)
- How art puts you back inside your body and rebuilds your intuition
- What the “no-comment rule,” “process over product,” and “scribble drawings” are
- Art therapy techniques to try at home (with nobody looking!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Abusers who leave a relationship are as rare as steak tartare.
In fact, waiting for an abuser to leave is similar to waiting for them to change.
Or asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas. Riding a unicorn. Losing weight on a cake-only diet.
Not likely.
If abusers are so unhappy with their victims, why don’t they leave first? Because staying fits within the point of abuse: to control you. And unless he’s discovered an excellent and easy alternative, you’re an endless supply for your emotional abuser’s selfishness.
On top of that, if you’re a Christian woman, he knows you take your vows seriously. He’s counting on you to stick it out, no matter what. He’s got “God” on his side.
Finally, when he mistreats you, like any sane person or hurt puppy, you react, and it ain’t pretty. You’re so ashamed of your behavior. He knows it. So instead of focusing on the harm he’s doing, you’re consumed by what a failure—a raging, bitter wretch of a person—you feel like. And you wonder: Am I the abuser?
You’re stuck between a boulder (an impossible, destructive marriage) and a hard place (your paralyzing beliefs).
What now?
This episode is full of answers:
- Where I got $1.75 (and you can too!)
- Why your choice to stay or leave your abuser is less important than your reasons
- My relation to a judgy asshole (she looks like me, she sounds like me, but I swear, she isn’t me…anymore) and the hope that should give you
- An abuser’s approach to counseling and change versus a survivor’s (one involves kicking and screaming)
- Two analogies to solve your shame and restore your power steering: dogs fighting and a locked car in a parking lot.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Imagine two terminally ill children. Both are given three months to live. For one, there’s nothing doctors can do—death is certain. The disease is incurable and untreatable.
For the second, there’s a life-saving treatment available. If it isn’t taken, the next three months will be a slow, excruciating crawl toward the end. If the treatment is started as soon as possible, the child will live and—what’s more—thrive.
Family, friends, and church leaders of the second child gather around and declare that the life-saving treatment shouldn’t be accepted. Since the first child’s death is certain, it would be best for the second child to accept death as well. The second child should die. In fact, not only is it right to condemn the second child to death, but their suffering and pain will bring glory to God.
One more thing. The second child is YOUR child.
Thoughts?
I have some. So listen in.
In this episode:
- The 3 main problems with the “suffer like Job” argument
- What the world would be like if this faulty logic worked
- The difference between Job (and Saul) and abused women (it’s not the lack of beards)
- What your role and what’s hanging between your legs have to do with each other (SURPRISE: NOTHING! YAY!)
- A one-two punch of resources to combat the “God hates divorce” lie (it’s more like a 20-30 knockout, but you get the drift)
- What translations of the Bible have to do with all this
- Women who are beasts and like to shovel snow (I swear, it’s relevant)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
It’s a thief.
Abuse robs us of the truth about ourselves.
Abuse steals our sense of safety.
Abuse consumes our time and energy.
And when we’re overwhelmed by all that abuse has taken from us, we can’t focus on the future or growth or discovery—the things that feed our soul and nurture our lives.
So how do we find that little girl full of dreams again? How do we connect to the young woman who had stars in her eyes? Where’s the door to a sense of belonging and self and fulfillment? How do we build a future on a busted-up past?
I’ve led many women through these questions. And we have to start by getting very precise. Because we don’t find our lives…we create them.
The specifics of this episode:
- Why staying vague with your questions means you’ll never swipe the answers you want
- Which two questions to ask to reclaim what you’ve lost
- The reason “open to interpretation” and “finding yourself” are kissing cousins (ewww)
- How interrupting is a good thing (when it comes to hijacking your thoughts)
- What checking in means and why you should do it (a way to snatch back your reality)
- Why there are so many definitions for who we are (and you get to nick whichever one you want)
- How we can be pickpockets of discovery..for life! (I swear, this is all on the up and up)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
The thought of contacting a lawyer made her sick. To live through her abusive marriage was hard enough. Would she have to bare all the details of her twisted reality to someone…and pay them for it? Where would she get the money for that, especially since her husband was hiding his paychecks?
Is your story anything like this?
I get the hesitation. The fear, the dread, and disgust. Bringing somebody else into your messy life is humiliating. But (and this is a really big but(t)), there are so many really important reasons to contact a lawyer when you’re in an abusive marriage. Because protecting yourself from financial abuse isn’t easy or simple, and it takes someone who knows what they’re doing.
Which leads us to questions. You have so many questions.
So I invited a lawyer who’s at the top of her game to answer the questions women just like you want (and need) answered.
Because this knowledge is worth its weight in gold. And your protection is worth even more than that.
This episode answers:
- What are the signs of financial abuse?
- What can you do if you’re being financially abused?
- Why is mediation with a narcissist like a waiting room (a very pointless, expensive one)?
- How can I survive financially if I get a divorce?
- My husband racked up credit card debt; am I responsible to pay it off if we divorce?
- Can I file for sole legal custody if my husband shows no interest in the kids?
- My husband is hiding assets but I have no proof; what can I do?
- Is it financial abuse to keep all his earnings to himself?
- What can I do if my husband refuses to pay bills?
- Will my husband’s higher income be taken into account when dividing debt during divorce?
- What can I do if my husband refuses to obey court orders, like paying alimony/child support? (HINT: garnishing wages has nothing to do with salad; who knew?)
- Why is life insurance important when alimony/child support is being paid?
- Should I keep utilities/mortgage in my name?
- And more!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
I have a confession.
I’m a recovering asshole.
Years ago, I had a friend. Her husband cheated on her. Then, he did it again. He kept cheating on her. He wasn’t sorry.
Do you know what I told her to do?
Stay with him. Pray and stay. Worse, I was proud to tell her this advice. Because I was God’s girl scout, and I knew best.
Now, I can easily imagine the grief and further pain my words and assumptions added to her heartbreak. I thought everything was black and white. A + B = C, every time. Life was a math problem, and I had the answer.
Boy, did I eat crow (and that’s just one example).
But in many ways, I’m no different than everybody else. And there IS an equation that applies to us all:
Our thoughts make our feelings. Our feelings make our beliefs. And our beliefs make us.
We become what we believe. We are like the god we worship.
What’s your god like? And what do you do when someone else’s god says you’re bad?
The confession progression:
- 5 little “g” gods most people choose from (guess which one I loved)
- Real justice versus the imitation
- 3 ways to feel only love when people assassinate your character
- Being curious instead of an asshole (it takes some work, but it’s worth it)
- The Equation, Part 2 (extended cut): Your treatment of yourself = Your treatment of others; Your treatment of yourself and others = Your view of God
- Chicken dinners and the future (in case you’re stuffed full of crow too)
- My skincare routine (it’s not made of crow, I promise)
- Social distancing for smart people
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
You’re not a toaster.
No matter what you've been taught by religious leaders, you’re not a thing to be used.
No matter what you’ve been told by your husband, you’re not an appliance to be owned.
No matter what you’ve come to believe about yourself, you’re not property — at the mercy of a spouse who wants toast on demand.
If you've found yourself tormented over how you’re treated in your marriage, especially when it comes to sex, and you waver between disgust and despairing “submission,” I have a new bottom line for you.
It's four little letters, and it never justifies your mistreatment.
In this episode:
- Why using the Bible to justify marital rape is a violation of God’s heart, your value, and marriage
- The amount of education I have in this field (and why it doesn’t matter)
- What three-year-olds and believing the moon is made of cheese have to do with this issue
- Why evolving beliefs are a sign of faith and humility, not sin and arrogance
- The reason I’m okay with you completely disagreeing with me (really)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
"He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how."
"He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts."
"He’s struggling. He can’t help it."
Do you have these thoughts about your husband?
Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?
Didn’t think so.
I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one.
This episode comes with not one but two guarantees:
Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to.
The episode highlight reel:
- Why acknowledging wrongdoing means nothing (if the wrongdoer is abusive)
- Why his apologies mean squat (if the behavior continues)
- Why WHAT he’s doing matters and WHY he’s doing it means next to nothing
- Why saying he wants to grow means bupkes (if he doesn’t)
- Why an abuser giving “God’s” advice has zero authority
- Why your opinion on all of this matters and everybody’s else’s means zip
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
I have two presents for you.
One is a regift. The other is brand-spanking, hot-off-the-waffle-press new.
First, I compiled some of the best (and by “best” I mean absolute trash and worst) things people say to Christian women in abusive marriages when they seek help or divorce.
Second, I’m giving you a comeback. A burn-it-to-the-ground, shred-it-to-cheddar-cheese, drop-the-mic, break-the-wrist-and-walk-away comeback for every single one.
I know how hard it is to stand before people who attack your character, deny your reality, determine your destiny, and demand your unquestioning allegiance…to your own destruction (in this case…as a married woman). The endless, useless, conflicting platitudes they give instead of real help and logical advice.
I also know how gutted you feel, how tongue-tied and mind-mushed you are when people spout off what sounds holy and bossy and right but is actually idiotic and damaging.
So unwrap your presents (press play) and revel in the ridiculous while I slaughter these silly arguments once and for all.
And you can regift these babies with my blessing.
In this episode:
- The stupid strawman: “It takes two to tango.”
- The annoying adage: “You’re not perfect either.”
- The pointless platitude: “Christians are called to suffer well.”
- The ridiculous reasoning: “Hurt people, hurt people.”
- The airheaded argument: “Your husband isn’t acting like a Christian, so he’s now your mission field.”
- Cooking-with-gas comebacks for these…and more.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If you break abuse down to the nitty-gritty, at its heart is something called “emotional childhood.” Abusers think everybody should make their life work. Everyone should cater to their whims. Everybody is responsible for their emotions. For fixing them, moment by moment. They shouldn’t have to do anything. Like a stunted emotional child.
If you’re a wife in this situation, you come to believe that you are supposed to fix your husband. You think you’re the only one who can (and that “fixing” him is even possible).
Any movement to protect yourself, to detach, to assign responsibility to him for HIS OWN LIFE and CHOICES, feels like betrayal and selfishness and just plain gross. Your husband and many religious people would agree.
Which leads us right back to: Am I responsible for fixing my husband? Is detaching from him to protect myself wrong?
I’ve been asked these questions hundreds—if not thousands—of times, so I’ve fleshed out an answer that addresses them AND all those icky rabbit trails in your mind.
And unlike what you’ve been told in church, online, or by your husband, this answer doesn’t require you to throw yourself in a pool to save a person who wants to drown…and drag you under too.
Get clear explanations like:
- What detachment really is (and why it’s so good and necessary)
- 2 helpful lists highlighting how children think/express themselves (so helpful if you know you’re not living from your values but you’re not sure why)
- Signs you’re living in emotional childhood
- The difference between emotional adulthood and emotional childhood
- Why getting out of abuse doesn’t stop the thought/behavior patterns you’ve learned in destructive relationships (women can get free and still live chained lives if they don’t realize this)
- How to make decisions from peace and wisdom instead of denial and fear (doing this will lead to a level of satisfaction and success you’ve only dreamed of!)
- And more!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It’s hammer time.
I’ve broken down the problems churches face when abuse victims come forward (along with how churches usually react). Then, I smash through the fallacies their hurtful behavior is constructed on. Finally, I provide the building blocks of how to respond to abuse like Jesus did, so the church can be a tool of healing instead of just…tools.
Cause there’s no point in demoing a building if you don’t intend to build something better.
Here’s how the real church should respond to women begging for help from abusive partners.
This tool belt of an episode hits on:
- How to drill down to the truth (who the actual abuser is) when a partner reports abuse and asks for help
- Why churches often leave victims with one impossible option (like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole)
- What love truly means in this situation (it’s not a saved marriage)
- How asking questions can help the church measure twice and cut once (for example: What would motivate a victim to lie? Would a true abuser come forward for help? What does the victim gain by admitting what’s going on? And more)
- Why letting the chips (and sawdust) fall where they may is foundational
- The blueprints in a nutshell: Giving the victim her own power drill
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Is the last thing you googled, “Am I crazy?” or “Why does my husband hate me?” or the literal title of this episode?
Bleh. Living in such horrible, constant confusion can make us obsessive. Not crazy obsessive. The “desperate for answers” kind. The “I’m living in purgatory and I hate it!” kind. The “Is it me even though I’m trying so hard?” kind.
If you’re looking for a fixed point of reference—a way to know what’s real and true, then you’ve stumbled across something better than 6.84 million Google results. Because I’m going to answer your question in incredible detail.
In this episode, I lay all the cards on the table:
- The messages this crazymaking makes in our brains (which are much more dangerous than the crazymaking and abuse)
- Why your husband’s behavior is not actually creating the problems (WHAT?!? Hear me out.)
- The ONE THING you keep giving your husband that you need to give yourself instead
- Why trusting a man who lies means you can’t trust someone more important (it’s a nasty cycle)
- Resources to help you get off this hamster wheel of horror…for keeps
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
“How Not to Be a Meanie” doesn’t hit the same, does it?
“How Not to Act Out Patriarchal Theology, AKA ‘A Chocolate-Covered Turd’” is probably too long.
And Andrew Bauman wants to get the attention of men who have bought into domination and called it love, and control and called it protection. The men who feel entitled to women’s bodies and minds and service, all in the name of God. Asses.
How does he tackle the problem? One donkey-sized piece at a time.
This jam-packed episode includes:
- The unavoidable word “ass”
- What to do if you’re told your husband’s porn addiction is your fault or no big deal (the aud-ass-ity!)
- Why real change isn’t a made bed and an open Bible (it’s actually sooooo boring)
- 5 quick, clear, key differences between a safe man and a giant ass
- How to love the duck you have instead of trying to make it into a cat (we aren’t quacks, we swear)
- What Andrew thinks of marriage intensives/counseling for emotionally abusive men (a hard p-ass)
- Why ass-king the question, “Does your husband know how to use a phone?” is more about you than him (and how it will change your ass-essment of your marriage)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
This may be controversial for some of my audience. Twenty years ago, I may have unsubscribed, not understanding what this was actually about.
What IS this about? It’s about Who God is. It’s about representing Him well. That’s what Jesus did, and that is our calling, as Christians.
This is about the way we view God and how our view impacts the way we live our lives. We either honor the truth about God’s character or we tell a lie about God’s character.
This is about a lie I used to believe about God.
I don’t have the answers. That’s what makes me different from who I was twenty years ago. Back then, I knew everything. And I told everyone so they could also know everything. And I judged everyone who didn’t know everything. Like I did.
Twenty years later I definitely do NOT know everything. I believe a couple of simple, life-changing things about God, and I run everything through the grid of that simple faith.
And it brings love and peace and joy into my life, and that hopefully touches the lives of those around me.
This is a message of love, and yet you might hear it and get upset. I encourage you to get curious about your feelings. They come, not from this message, but from what your brain makes this message mean for you. And it is quite possible your brain will make this message mean something threatening to your programming, and that will feel scary and uncomfortable.
When Jesus came to this earth with a message of radical love that went against the programming of the people, they got scared and upset too. So much so, that they killed Him.
All I hope is that this message of love reflects HIS message of love. How would our lives be different if we could just drop into the love of Jesus without fear of condemnation and shame? Without all the religious words and rules and sacrifices?
Religiously programmed brains are far more comfortable with rules and regulations than simple faith and love.
It’s okay to get upset. It means your brain is being stretched and challenged, and that’s a good thing. You may decide to keep your brain’s programming, but at least keep it from a place of awareness, intentionality, and choice rather than unaware, non-conscious programming.
If I could accomplish only one thing with my life, it would be to play a role in raising the awareness of the world I live in today of Who God really is. He is not a control-freak abuser like so many of his followers reflect through their own beliefs and behavior.
God is Love. Period. What would happen if we believed that? How would we change? How would the world change?
That’s what this episode is about.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Did you know that abuse has a bestie?
Its sneaky little friend is Shame. Shame is a talkative fellow but very dependable.
He hangs on your earlobes and yells:
“You’re not perfect, so you can’t point out your husband’s faults.”
“You yelled back, so you expect him to stop.”
“You pull away emotionally, so you can’t get angry when he stonewalls.”
“You hit him after he hit you, so you deserved it.”
“You found comfort in someone else’s arms, so you’re just as bad as him.”
“You have no right to expect better when you’re so screwed up.”
Shame keeps us bound and trapped, even long after a divorce.
So what should you do with these painful, tormenting thoughts?
This episode’s bird’s-eye view:
- How we’re all toddlers running around with giant knives
- Why what we make things mean matters more than anything else (if that made no sense, you definitely need to listen)
- What to do with the torment of wanting people to support you
- The solution for the shame of your poor choices (it’s warm, thick, organic, and probably grass-fed, and starts with an “L”)
- The cool club you can join if you’re a sinner (HINT: It’s called “The Human Race”)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Imagine a world where women are property.
Where they have no rights — not even to defend themselves against abuse or to claim ownership over their minds…to declare, for instance, that they are not insane. That they shouldn’t be held prisoner in an insane asylum because they disagreed with their husband.
That horrifying world you imagined? You're living in it.
Of the countless women who’ve gone before you, Elizabeth Packard stands out as one who fought for the oppressed and the voiceless, for her relentless faith, and for freedom.
Her true, daring story has been dug from history, and you need to hear it. Because the impact of her life is still echoing today.
I interviewed award-winning author and champion of women, Kate Moore, to learn more about The Woman They Could Not Silence. I was on the edge of my seat, and you will be too.
The Recap:
- How the weapon of Elizabeth’s betrayal is still often used to this day (#MeToo, anyone?)
- Why the worst thing was the best thing (when you’ve got nothing to lose, you’re especially brave)
- The strange and incredible way Kate stumbled upon Elizabeth’s story
- The power of hindsight (100 years later, her legacy is only expanding)
- How writing played a critical part in keeping Elizabeth sane
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The only reason I’m where I am today — divorced from an abusive husband, healed, remarried to a good man, helping others, and thriving — is because of one simple tool.
I share it in Flying Free and Flying Higher, my online coaching, education, and support communities that are worth their weight in fat-melting chocolate (please science, make this real).
Today, I'm sharing the best thing I have.
You get a free, front-row seat to this show. Prepare yourself. Cause I absolutely stake my secret pie stash on the fact that if you use this tool, it will ROCK YOUR WORLD.
In my funky magnum opus for your listening delight:*
- What “CTFAR” means (this is the solid bass line)
- Why we think we’re victims of our circumstances, but we’re really victims of our thoughts (woohoo, the groovy chorus)
- How letting go of control plays a huge part in resetting the stage of our life (cue the irresistible drum solo)
- The important difference between facts and opinions, and feelings and sensations (ooh, the surprising jazzy bridge)
- Why we're all prophets and how to make that a good thing (a tear-jerking fade-out to riotous applause)
- The credits (when you realize YOU ARE THE ROCKSTAR in this story)
*There isn’t actually any music in this episode. I’m sorry. Please imagine me singing all of it, with my blessing.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?
A grown man throwing a tantrum. Stomping around, calling you names, slamming doors.
Hits you right in the feels, eh?
Or maybe he’s the quiet type of mean. Stonewalling. Sleeping for days. Leaving for hours without warning.
However a husband’s jerky behavior manifests, most Christian wives are taught to respond the same ways:
Assume you’re the problem. Feel shame.
Assume you have to endure his behavior. Feel despair.
Assume you have to make his life work. Feel resentment.
For all these common feelings, I’ve got some uncommon alternatives. And they WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Which is a lot more attractive than a grown man acting like a two-year-old.
Episode Highlights:
- The “Versus” Game: Ten common thoughts versus ten uncommon responses to abusive behavior (as mind-blowing as finding out that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore, 10x)
- The “Blue Hair” Game: No hair dye needed; you just have to do a bit of reframing your perspective (specifically that he’s a little nuts and you’re not)
- The “Peace Out” Game: The aim is to get your peace back by walking away from disrespect. Worth its weight in gold, people.
- The “30-Minute” Game: This is when I tell you the podcast is over. It seems like nobody wins this game, but really you just get to binge-listen to a bunch more. (158 episodes more, winky wink.)
- The “I Want to Tell You More But All I’m Really Doing Is Keeping You From Listening to the Podcast Already” Game: You know what to do. Click it. Click the play button.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
“He doesn’t even have to be kind. I just wish he wouldn’t make every waking moment a nightmare. What else can I do?” she said into the phone.
“I don’t know,” her sister said. “You’ve done counseling. And prayed. Asked pastors for help. Read books. Been quiet. Spoken up. Given more sex. You’ve borne the consequences of all his poor choices. You’ve pushed your health to the brink to serve him. For years.”
“But I haven’t fasted and prayed for a straight month,” she murmured.
“THIS IS INSANE. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR!” her sister exploded.
“Yes,” she said.
It finally clicked. And in that moment, she knew.
“I have to separate.”
It was her “enough” moment. And she never looked back.
A summary form of my two cents:
- There’s no right or wrong answer (but lots of valuable advice; I put my money where my mouth is)
- Important factors that play into calculating this decision (no math needed, phew!)
- The one person who needs to sign this check (Hint: It ain’t your pastor or mother-in-law or dad or boss or a celebrity or Magic 8-ball or even, gasp, God)
- The stinky visitor living rent-free in your brain (May I suggest an eviction notice?)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Hit it with a hammer.
Done.
If only it were that easy.
In reality, the cycle of emotional and spiritual abuse feels like a freight train rushing down the tracks of your everyday. An unstoppable force. And if you stand in its way, you’ll be run down. A sad little pancake beholden to the destructive patterns you’ve existed in since…who knows when.
My dear. You forgot about two things.
First: You can’t stop that train.
Second: You don’t need to stop that train to heal and be free and come into your power.
Remember the handle thingy on the side of the tracks, controlling the railroad switch?
Yup. Start there.
In this episode:
- A heart-warming tale of what the Flying Free podcast is accomplishing in the lives of survivors
- How many nickels I theoretically have and why (very important)
- What love has to do with breaking cycles (I’ve got a great, but super old, example)
- The reason giraffes refuse to have short necks (a purely scientific explanation)
- Why authentic growth is the opposite of abusive control
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Are you confused over whether you have legitimate grounds for divorce?
How should you respond to people who claim you’re cynical and oversensitive when you try to speak against emotional and spiritual abuse?
What’s the best way to handle family members, especially children, who think you’re the bad guy in your abusive marriage?
What if you’re separated but you just aren’t ready to divorce…and the clock keeps ticking?
Limbo is a fun party game…and a lousy place to live. So let me offer some advice that will break you out of the ruts these difficult questions might have you stuck in.
Highlights from this episode:
- The three main Christian views on divorce (and how your belief in God informs your view on divorce)
- Why the future has a hefty price tag (and how to determine what price you want to pay for which future)
- What pigs and pearls have to do with hard conversations (it’s not the smell or the irritation)
- Why Jesus is “in a ditch” instead of trying to convince other people they’re wrong (and how this example applies to us)
- The effects of living in limbo (and I don’t mean the ridiculous, back-breaking game)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If your husband was sick, would you make yourself ill to help him?
If he was starving himself, would you stop eating?
If he was an alcoholic, would you start drinking to show support…or supply the liquor…or drive under the influence, so he wouldn’t feel alone? In the hopes that he’d do better?
Gary Thomas’ book, Married Sex, is filled with bad advice and horrifying claims just as ridiculous and harmful and dysfunctional as poisoning yourself to try to make a loved one healthy.
For husbands and wives, and especially people in the middle of a marriage being skewered by porn addiction, chronic infidelity, and the toxic beliefs born out of purity culture, “Married Sex” brings more harm than help.
This podcast is an all-caps warning label to prevent survivors from believing that health (and nurturing, safe, joyful sex) can ever be found by drinking poison, even poison in the pages of a book.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Is your husband great at playing dress up?
One moment, usually in public, he speaks sweetly, cuddles the baby, and prays over your family. The next moment, usually in the privacy of your home, he glares at you, yells in disgust, and gives you the silent treatment.
He’s the sun and a raging storm.
He’s heaven and hell.
He’s…? How do you figure out reality? How do you come to terms with the oil and water of who he is?
And what do you do when nobody believes that he and others like him are actually wolves in sweet, little sheep’s clothing?
In this Q&A, I discuss:
- Why serial killers are a great analogy for victims of emotional abuse
- Why “embracing reality” is critical (you NEED the truth to be free)
- How Flying Free can be a pivotal part of your journey to wholeness
- What fear over people’s perceptions leads to (it ain’t pretty)
- What you can do to get your power and freedom back
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Feeling like a moldy lemon?
Maybe you’re just an onion.
If you've escaped the horror of a destructive relationship, but you still feel numb, anxious, depressed, and like a steaming hot mess...it's easy to believe that “being jacked up” is the new normal. And your whole identity.
It’s not. In fact, what you're searching for is closer than you can believe:
You're still a whole person. Your true self isn’t lost. Your body is actually trying to help you heal. The best of you is still there.
But some of these things are covered by layers. Like an onion.
Coatings of trauma. Blankets of pain. Wrappings of core wounds. Cocooned lies.
Want to know how to find that sweet little onion core again? Sara Richmond and I explore this very question.
Listen as we discuss the following revelations and more:
- How your story (and information about abuse) can be a distraction from real healing
- Why “brokenness” is a crappy description for survivors (and a better word that she's claimed)
- Why our bodies often "act" broken (HINT: Whatever you resist, persists)
- What embracing her emotional stress through somatic therapy revealed to Sara (it was sad but extremely powerful)
- Examples of triggers that she and I peeled back and reset
- The word that Natalie couldn’t remember (sadly, it wasn’t “onion”)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Do you ever imagine a different reality?
A new life that’s safe and full of kindness. With a future and hope. Where you’re supported on all sides.
Diana does.
One where survivors of domestic violence are able to escape and find the help they need to restart their lives and heal. Where they find safe haven, education, support, therapy, and a giant springboard to a kickass future, free from abuse.
She isn’t just imagining this new reality. She’s building it.
And she needs people to come alongside her.
Because there are a lot of women and children in desperate situations. And hers is a big, BIG dream.
In this episode:
- Hear Diana’s incredible story (including how she shut a pastor up who told her she was wrong to divorce) and her vision for The Blind Investment
- Learn the lifetime cost estimate of intimate partner violence (in health problems, lost productivity, and criminal justice, not to mention family court), which illustrates the dire need for organizations like hers
- Find out the Catch-22s most survivors face when seeking support from regular aid programs (like becoming homeless to prove you need housing while running the risk of losing your children because you are homeless)
- Hear all the details of Diana’s comprehensive plan to tackle the six main barriers to fully escaping abuse (her organization is amazingly different from other domestic violence nonprofits in its scope)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
There’s a reason why people say all abuse is physical abuse. Emotional abuse is a double whammy, destroying your mind and your body.
Long after the abuse stops, you’re still dealing with the fallout.
It can feel like your body has failed you. Like you’re permanently broken. It can feel hopeless and frustrating.
So how do you regain your health and fitness in the aftermath of abuse?
Kylar has a unique approach, one of endless compassion, wisdom, and empathy. Because he’s been there too. And it works. Now he’s healthy and strong, from the inside out and helping others just like you.
Listen to:
- The amazing story behind Kylar’s 22 years of abuse and 19-year fitness journey
- Why high-intensity workouts are NOT a good idea for survivors (what a relief)
- How our perspective on physical health aligns with patriarchy and shame-based fitness culture
- The biggest contributor to the aging process (HINT: it’s not time)
- How a simple and intuitive approach is the best, with examples
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?
You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors.
What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t understand. The ones who only know that Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and life, will never be the same again.
Divorce through the eyes of a teen…my own daughter.
This episode is a spotlight on:
- A honest report from a teen who had a close relationship with her abusive father
- How things changed, year over year, as separation turned into divorce and a “new normal”
- The flaws in the idea that everything (traditions, joy, togetherness, fun) has been destroyed by divorce
- Why joint custody actually helped lessen the emotional burden of divorce
- The fact that every child’s experience is different and why it’s important to consider
- A really hopeful “finish” to the story of my family (though it’s far from over)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through.
It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is.
Especially because they’re wired to trust their dad. They’re wired to need his love.
So they still call him good, loving even. They still think you and their dad should be together.
You know better.
And it’s agony.
What now?
In this episode:
- Why just showing up makes all the difference in your kids’ lives
- How divorce is like an earthquake (and how approaching it from a long-term perspective makes all the difference)
- The reason letting your kids go actually gives you a better chance of getting them back
- Why allowing your kids to love their dad (and feel all the feels) is important for their well-being, your peace, and your relationship with them
- How all of this advice lets you lay down the torment and angst over this topic…for good!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
As the year ends, the darkness grows. Minute by minute.
Just before Christmas is the longest night of the year.
The holidays are celebrations of love and generosity and joy.
But they're also bleak and painful to many — like women going through separation and divorce.
So how do you cling to the hope of coming light in your blackest hours?
How do you live with the dark as you wait for the dawn?
Here’s my story and what I’ve learned.
In this episode:
- The honest truth about the dark hole I was in for my first two Christmases as a single mom of nine children
- Three practical tips for dealing with the pain of busted-up holidays as a survivor (and by practical, I mean easy and doable without causing a mental breakdown)
- Why you should ask questions about loneliness and grief instead of resenting or dulling them
- How to reframe the idea that you’re just a hot mess (News Flash: Nobody’s life is like their Christmas card)
- Proof that your brain is super smart and super ridiculous (and how to utilize the smartness and not the part that keeps you looped in crappy, self-fulfilling prophecies)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.
You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.
You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.
You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.
But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.
So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.
If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.
If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.
This episode is full to bursting with truths to revolutionize your reality:
- 4 important truths survivors need to know to experience and create real change in their lives
- How I discovered my true identity after decades of abuse
- What a spiritually healthy person acts (there are some surprises in here!)
- How I went from helpless to empowered (and how you can too)
- 7 life-changing things I learned that paved the way for more learning, growth, and healing than I could ever imagine
- A great way to experience my book Is It Me? with other survivors of emotional abuse
Read or download the transcript here
Would you like to go through this book and companion workbook with other women just like you? Sign up to get on the waiting list for our next groups here: https://flyingfreenow.ck.page/groups
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher here: https://www.flyingfreesisterhood.com/join-flying-higher
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Do you wonder why you feel so angry and defeated about the way your husband treats you?
It's not cause you were a closet rage monster before you got married. It's not cause you're crazy or demanding or that you just love drama.
He’s been stomping in your flower beds.
And YOU’VE been told that you had to leave the garden gate open in order to be a good wife and a good Christian.
If you’ve been wondering "Is it me?" then let's make sense of your confusing marriage in this two-part episode.
Episode Highlights:
- Boundaries aren't just for countries and sports fields; they're key to healthy relationships and fulfilling, well-balanced lives of peace.
- This analogy will cut through the crap you've been fed about why your husband's behavior is your fault (it’s 100% NOT).
- I give a pounding to the faulty beliefs that keep you stuck (and make no mistake, beliefs keep us stuck much more often than super glue, bad relationships, a lack of resources, and quicksand combined).
- An explanation of your actual responsibility that will SET YOU FREE.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
Would you like to go through this book and companion workbook with other women just like you? Sign up to get on the waiting list for our next groups here: https://flyingfreenow.ck.page/groups
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher: https://www.flyingfreesisterhood.com/join-flying-higher
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider.
They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all you never had. Especially in relationships.
Maybe they used to be a time of excitement and joy, but now you only feel dread and loneliness and grief.
If you find yourself wishing you could sleep until January comes around, or your eyes well up whenever you imagine how miserable these “special” days will be, gather round.
This episode is a warm blanket snuggled around your shoulders, a mug of hot cocoa in your hands, and a sweet gift-wrapped dose of hope from me...to you.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
“I’ll never heal.”
Has that thought crossed your mind?
There’s too much pain. Too much trauma stored in your body. Too many horrible memories trapped in your mind. It’s an ocean to cross, and you’re just treading water.
You need deep internal healing.
So how do you plunge into the depths of your most profound anguish productively and safely?
With help from compassionate, well-learned people who’ve been in your shoes and have dedicated themselves to helping women like you.
Megan Owen is such a woman. As a trauma counselor, she’s on a mission to provide comprehensive therapy for abuse survivors that brings the deep healing they’ve been seeking.
In this episode, Megan answers these weighty questions and more:
- What are spiritual process groups, and how can I join one?
- How can theology be thick or thin (and why does it matter)?
- What do the Wizard of Oz and glass slippers have to do with any of this?
- Why do we need a baseline for healthy relationships?
- What are EMDR, IFS, DNMS, and CPTSD (besides a list of acronyms)?
- Why do people say other therapy didn’t help but her multi-dimensional, community-based approach made all the difference?
- Who is really excited about all that Megan is doing and wants to get the word out? (It’s me. I’m practically squealing. Listen to the episode for proof.)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Imagine carrying around a backpack full of books from high school.
You aren’t taking those classes anymore, but you always carry the weight anyway.
It digs into your shoulders. It makes you tired. Slows you down. Doesn’t let you truly rest. It keeps others from getting close.
Abuse is like that. It teaches us a lot—lessons no one should ever learn. And lessons we don’t even realize we’re still living out.
So we may escape abusive relationships, but we’re stuck in limbo, carrying the textbooks we think hold the truth about life, love, and ourselves.
Rebecca realized this. She was living out sneaky, destructive beliefs even after her divorce—in her career, her parenting, and in her new marriage.
If you want to be truly free from your past, you’ll love the new lessons this episode has to offer:
- FALSE: Boundaries only matter in unhealthy relationships
- TRUE: Setting boundaries is a critical part of every healthy relationship (and why she avoided doing this in her new marriage for years)
- FALSE: Everything in a new relationship with a safe, good person will be like a Hallmark movie
- TRUE: There will still be difficulty, discomfort, and disagreements (but they won’t become atomic bombs)
- FALSE: Your career and parenting and mental health will be magically perfect and easy after you escape from your abusive marriage
- TRUE: Recovery is an 18-course banquet, not a drive-thru snack, and you’ll still live on Earth (but these don’t have to be major downers)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Lydia left her abusive husband.
Then she came back.
She found the guts to leave him again.
And returned another time.
In the end, it took SEVEN times for her to get free.
If you've been there or if you're wondering whether you'll ever get out too, she's laying it all on the table in this episode.
The BEST PART? She's thriving. And she's no longer ashamed of her past.
In this raw look at Lydia’s story:
- The FOUR reasons that kept her from leaving for good
- How she conquered the shame over her broken marriage
- Why it was better for her kids to grow up with just one parent
- The Bible verse that set her free from condemnation over her divorce
- What punching and floating have to do with the divorce/rebuilding process
- Why sexual loneliness is a valid concern when you become single (and how she handled it)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If you're like most Christian women in confusing and painful marriages, you've tried everything.
You've read the books, the blogs, the sarcastic memes, and the devotionals.
You've paid for counseling, training, seminars, and conferences.
You've asked for advice from other couples, your parents, your pastors, friends, and the lady in the check-out line.
You've prayed and given up all the fun things to eat and bit your tongue, and read your Bible and journaled, cried, and begged.
But your marriage never changes. Or it just gets worse.
You're withering. Your life looks like a wasteland. You feel like a shell of a woman.
So what's the REAL ANSWER? What's THE ONE THING YOU’RE MISSING?
It's simple. It's free. It’s right in front of you.
In this hope-filled intervention your weary soul needs:
- Why you should be looking in the mirror (and it's not to correct yourself)
- A simple explanation of faith that can radically change your life
- Who your true rescuer is (and why your "rescue" is never over)
- What to do with thoughts that feel like facts, like: “I'm not loved. I've lost my faith. There's no hope. I've failed. My life was wasted.”
- How to use your brain to your advantage (even when you're completely overwhelmed)
- How your ideas about God tangle with your perspective on abuse and yourself
- Practical examples from my own life and the lives of the many women I've helped
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Do you picture yourself and your children begging on the streets if you dare to leave?
Are you overwhelmed at the thought of making ends meet as a single mom?
Do you wonder how you'll pay for groceries, much less legal fees, if you escape?
One of the biggest fears for women in abusive marriages is that they won't survive financially.
And it's a fear based on a lot of truth.
But it's not the final say.
Hear from a woman who's been there, done, and literally wrote a book on it. So don't turn back.
If you feel financially trapped, this podcast covers:
- Smart tactics for squirreling away money without escalating the abuse in your relationship
- Safe maneuvers to keep the peace while you're preparing to leave
- A strategy for keeping the lights on when there's more month than money
- A valuable list of resources for women in your exact situation
- Lydia Dominguez’s story of running, returning, and finding freedom from abuse for good
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
When you react to your husband’s abuse, it can feel like you’re the abuser.
When he tells you how hard his childhood was, you may feel sorry for him.
When you read about personality disorders, some of the symptoms fit you.
When you read about mental illness, the symptoms also fit him.
Which makes you wonder…
If your husband was abused, is it really fair to hold his harmful behavior against him? If he has unresolved trauma or a personality disorder, is it wrong to expect him to treat you better?
And even more confusing…
What if your C-PTSD sometimes mimics a personality disorder? What if your traumatic responses seem abusive?
In this episode, I peel back the layers on:
· The ingredients of C-PTSD
· Who you can save before you become leftovers (it’s only ever one person)
· The different flavors of C-PTSD and BPD
· Why the reason behind your husband’s behavior matters less than a hill of beans (and what does)
· A three-step recipe to recover from abuse in your own life
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If your life is already a tough pill to swallow, taking more medicine is the last thing you want to do. Gross.
But what if it's the "best medicine"? The type that makes you laugh-cry, hold your sides, and snort with glee.
Laughter and joy and humor can transform the darkest days, the bleakest seasons, and the hardest nights.
And no matter what you've been through, you really can experience their life-giving power.
I talk with prolific laugher, Sara Richmond, about how.
The surprising highlights of this prescription:
- Think you can't laugh and be honest about your pain? Codswallop!
- Learn how to steal (okay, borrow) laughter on the worst days
- Why surviving a buttload of baloney in your marriage makes you an ideal patient for supreme joy
- Completely overwhelmed? Our suggestions: Sing badly, run away, or shriek "Balderdash!" (and what we really mean by self-care during the worst times)
- How being quirky and weird (or just exactly who you are) is the way to score free joy for life
- A bunch more (because I always overdeliver, from pizza to malarkey to a gaggle of children to my support group)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If your child was starving and asked you for bread, would you make her eat from a dumpster?
If your child was dying of thirst and asked for water, would you pour sand down his throat?
Are you that child? Starving for safety. And love. And honesty. And help. And tenderness. And dying a little more each day in their absence and their opposites.
So why doesn't God treat you like a daughter? Why does he give food and drink and good husbands and happy families to some but to you...only pain?
If these questions keep you up at night, this episode is for you.
I answer listener questions about:
- The SURPRISING thing your abusive marriage tells you about God
- The people I DON'T HELP, and what I do instead
- Why TRIGGERS are often less about past trauma and more about CORE BELIEFS
How asking questions about fears (like the fear that your husband and family are spying on your social media posts) is a simple way to BREAK THROUGH them
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Getting out of an abusive marriage can seem impossible. Especially when it comes to the money aspect. As in...where will you get it? How will you reenter (or start in) the work force? How are you going to add MORE to your already overflowing plate?
And those emotions. The big ones that feel like a thick sludge up to your hips or a pile of wet blankets on top of you or a deep, aching hollow in your chest. How do you deal with those?
Dear one, it's not easy, but it is simple.
I’ve traveled this way before—alone and with others. So let me share my road map.
This episode paves a path to:
· The proof that knowing all the “hows” (as in, how in the heck is all this going to work out) isn't necessary
· What learning to drive has to do with all of this
· Why I don't tell survivors what to do while still giving them precise, tried-and-true advice
· A way to OWN your valid, real, big emotions instead of being overwhelmed by them
· How your healing ignites all the practical things you haven’t figured out
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It took 11 words to change the world. 11 words misinterpreted. 11 words misunderstood. 11 words manipulated.
A single sentence from the mouth of God to the first woman...Eve. A pronouncement. A prediction. A curse. Or was it?
Do you know these words?
Prepare yourself. Because you’re about to learn their TRUE meaning.
It might blow. your. mind. And it will change the world...again.
Why this episode is a must listen:
- The What: Bruce’s wife spent seven years researching her doctoral dissertation on 11 words. He followed with his own research on correlating New Testament verses.
- The Why: How your understanding of those 11 words affects your view of women, men, God, and your entire existence.
- The Are You Kidding Me?: A clear, precise explanation of those 11 words. You may scream. You may dance. You may fist pump several times. You may run around the block screaming incoherently. It’s that good.
- WARNING: Bring an extra pair of socks. Because this episode is going to blow them clean off.
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Was there a day when you realized he was doing it all on purpose?
After all your tears, your pleading, and explanations, there was no way you could keep excusing his behavior.
His explanations didn’t fly.
You knew you didn’t hold the blame.
Maybe he finally, actually admitted it.
As painful as that realization is, it’s also your secret weapon—knowledge that can empower you.
Sound crazy? In Part 2 of 2, What You Can Do When Your Christian Husband Bullies You, I’ll prove it.
This episode covers:
- The Drama Llama: Where he goes, chaos and division follow. Learn how to put out fires without a hose (or more stress)
- The Silver Tongue: Knowing you can’t trust your husband at all doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it
- The Funnel: His narrow perspective leads to rigid practices and perspectives. Learn how to avoid becoming a human fossil along with him
- The Déjà Vu: The thing you hate the most (that nothing ever changes) is actually an advantage—what you can predict, you can plan for
- The Leech: Is your marriage sucking you dry? Learn how to get your lifeblood back
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You are married to a bully. If only he'd steal your lunch money or call you a dingus during math class and be done with it.
Instead, he makes everything into a torturous game with changing rules that benefit one person. Himself. On the really bad days, you want to learn karate and get featured on the evening news.
Take heart, sweet potato. There's a better way.
I've graphed his sleazy points and made a road map for dealing with his shenanigans.
Fair warning: It's gonna take guts but it will be well worth it. And you won't even need karate.
Your road map includes:
- The reason your fear that you are abusive is COMPLETE COCKAMAMY
- 5 common things abusers do (you’re likely dealing with these on an unending loop)
- How he’s like an 11-year-old and you’re like a computer program
- 5 brilliant ways to respond that will CHANGE not just your marriage but YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The length of your marriage. You’ll never forget it. 3 years of holes in the wall. 9 years of sleepless nights. 17 years of pleading. 25 years of silence. 43 years of lowering your standards again and again and again.
While the past can't be changed, and that time is set, your recovery is NOT. It has NO LIMIT. It has NO TIMELINE.
The depth of your pain and suffering do not outweigh your ability to heal. It all comes down to whether you want it.
The evidence?
Women like Marie. She found healing and transformation in community—one that's available to you.
The Takeaways of Marie’s Story:
- What’s more important: How busted up you are or how much you want healing
- Why acting like an accountant can speed up your healing
- The reason your recovery can stagnate...and what to do about it
- Why there’s an application process for the Flying Higher group (it has to do with the toilet)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Have you ever talked to people who weren't there? Imagined conversations in your head? Perfected your argument while showering or lying in bed?
I did that...and made it into a podcast.
But this conversation isn't with just one person. It's with tens of thousands of people. Pastors.
Because the survivor community knows the price of patriarchy in the church. We know the cost of being controlled. We know the damage of being devalued. And pastors NEED to KNOW this too.
If they'd only listen, I'd tell pastors:
- How they create a cycle of shame and perfectionism
- People's fundamental motivation for change (and why it matters in abusive situations)
- Their view of women is an open invitation for oppression
- Why their treatment of people (and approach to ministry) show how anti-Jesus and faithless they are
- The profound and simple FOUR-LETTER ANSWER to all of these problems (and they've been staring at it without seeing it)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Your marriage was like a jigsaw puzzle. A big, confusing, fragmented mess.
Once you found the "abuse" piece, everything fell into place.
But are you prepared for what happens when you leave? Cause the gloves come off and the rulebook gets tossed out the window.
From two women who've been there and who've heard countless stories of the same, here's the cheat sheet for what you need to know when you get out.
This playbook includes:
- Rules of the "Game": Insight into what your husband's "normal" behavior will be (and by "normal" we mean crazy but predictable)
- Strategy: A tried and true response method to his behavior (it's the most boring, fabulous thing ever)
- Recovery Tips: Why you should treat yourself like a fuzzy little cat during this time (truckloads of compassion and flexibility...and maybe treats)
- Inside Secrets: There's another person who's been abusing you beside your husband (and you can't get away from them!)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
"Till death do us part." Those words haunt you.
The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.
But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to.
And he's counting on it.
You need to listen if:
- You're overcome with desperation to leave and consumed by guilt to stay
- Your husband is the greatest source of pain and harm in your life
- You are responsible for everything, and you are constantly sacrificing your physical health, life dreams, and sanity to make your marriage work (to no avail)
- You've begun to wonder just how much of his behavior is intentional and whether he truly wants to destroy you, piece by piece
Read or download the transcript*
*Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman 1990. Copyright Guilford Press. Reprinted with permission of The Guilford Press
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Why are you staying in your abusive marriage?
For many women, the price to get free seems too high. They fear destitution, losing their children, revenge by their husband, more trauma and heartache, a scarlet "D" on their chests, the legal hassle...the list goes on.
These are real, valid fears. And terribly high, but prevalent, costs. Which raise the question: Is it worth it?
Amie experienced all of these things and more to get out. Listen to her story and decide for yourself.
This podcast includes:
- How the Bible was used to FORCE Amie to marry her abuser
- The SECRET her husband kept from her for years (ALERT: withholding information IS abuse)
- Why she stayed for so long even as her health broke down
- The heartbreaking trauma she endured from her church, her children, her ex-husband, and multiple counselors
- Where she is today and whether it was worth it (The MOST IMPORTANT part of this incredible story)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If it's true that we learn from our mistakes, then I know a whole heck of a lot.
This episode, Part 2 of 2, is about the mistakes I made in church — the three main ways I lit myself on fire, with the encouragement of church leaders. All while trying to escape the inferno of an abusive marriage.
Confused? Horrified? Thirsty?
Then tune in. Cause it's tea time, and I'm pouring.
Check out these fire starters:
- Never expose yourself to other learning/beliefs/opinions beside church or church leaders (Don't you DARE think for yourself!)
- Treat church leaders like they are God (They're ALWAYS right)
- Believe you are trash (Cause that's what a loving Father wants his precious daughter to do. Duh.)
- Wash, rinse, and repeat for ultimate cleansing (I did for years, and it nearly killed me.)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Put your stretchy pants on, cause this episode's a three-course dinner on what NOT to do once you realize your marriage is a hamster wheel of emotional abuse.
These three mistakes caused me greater pain, for much longer. But I didn't know then what I know now. Because when we KNOW differently, we DO differently.
And that's what Flying Free is all about.
Dig in to:
- Unconscious messages I ingested that made me think abusive behavior was normal and even loving
- Why I tried to feed a dead marriage (and the not-obvious-to-me-at-the-time reasons that didn't work)
- A fork in the road: The two choices I never realized I had
- The potluck approach to decision-making that I no longer take (I stay in my own kitchen now)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Abusers are terrified. They mask their fear with rage, manipulation, false piety, and good ole-fashioned bullying.
If they're actually weak, scared babies, how are they so powerful and unchecked in churches (and in marriages)?
Because you're afraid too. And you're also really good at pretending. All while being destroyed.
It doesn't have to be this way anymore, and I can show you how...to fly free.
In today's episode, listen to learn:
- How the pattern of your destructive marriage isn't just physical—it's mirrored in your brain's perception of reality
- Why FEAR prevents us from living a life of love (which heals and protects us)
- How PRETENDING prevents us from walking in the truth (which sets us free)
- The BEST RESOURCE I know of for survivors desperate for a life of truth, healing, freedom, joy, and love (don't take it from me; read all the reviews from real survivors)
Read or download the transcript
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
If my husband has a mental health issue or a personality disorder, does that excuse his abusive behavior? My husband isn’t the typical abuser; is my marriage actually abusive or just bad? Am I wrong for wanting privacy that my husband demands I should give up? How will I know for sure that my abuser has changed? Since I’ve made the decision to stay in my marriage for now, how can I grow while doing so?
I answer these questions and more in this episode. This is a replay of a Q&A done in the Flying Free Sisterhood program. One of the many life-changing benefits of this group is the ability to have your questions answered in a monthly Q&A, weekly during coaching, and every day in the private forum.
Listen to learn:
- The boundaries you can (and SHOULD) still have if your husband has a diagnosis
- Though you aren’t a computer, your programming is behind all of these questions, and the answers
- What parroting is (it has nothing to do with birds)
- Why rocking the boat should be your favorite pastime with a “reformed” abuser
- The problem with ALL of these questions (it’s their FOCUS)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Love lets evil do whatever it wants, pretends nothing's happened, and calls a prison a palace. Right? This is the kind of "biblical" message Christian counselors often tout. And it's killing women and children, whether all at once or piece by precious piece.
If you've been hurt by "love," especially when you were desperate for help and safety, you've got an advocate in Cindy Burrell.
Strap in because this episode is loaded with truth bombs:
- Why abusers have the automatic advantage in most Christian counseling
- A big, red flag at a counselor's office (when you see it, RUN)
- Why "Can he change?" is the WRONG question, and, frankly, irrelevant when it comes to abusers
- Two things that will bring out the truth, GUARANTEED (Hint: One is a simple, two-letter word)
- Why the sanctity of marriage is not built on the absence of divorce
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You've got two options and you HATE them both. You know you're married to an abuser, but you DON'T want a divorce. So...you're staying.
But will you be consumed by your husband's reckless hate? Can you and Jesus be enough in the years to come? Will healing happen in the midst of destruction? Can you survive staying married and, what's more, thrive? Is it even possible to stay well in an abusive marriage?
In this episode, I discuss:
- How staying well is completely subjective (and some clear examples of what it may mean/may not mean FOR YOU)
- Why there's only ONE place where you need to look for an answer
- My own story of staying well...and leaving
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Ugly. Fat. Frumpy. Gross. These words ache inside of you and echo in your mind. Maybe they were said to you, maybe they were shown to you, maybe society planted them in your mind. Recovering from abuse isn't just about healing the inside, it's about manifesting life on the outside.
You were created to embody beauty and appreciate it — in your smile, with your clothes, your hair style, even the makeup you choose to wear — and Jill Swanson is an expert in helping women do just that.
In this light-hearted podcast, learn:
- The secret to why I look so cute (HINT: It's because of Jill)
- Why caring about your clothes/hair/using makeup is NOT SHALLOW or UNBIBLICAL
- What covers a multitude of sins? Clothes!
- How to use what your mama and the good Lord gave you (don't worry, it's G-rated)
- REAL-LIFE EXAMPLES of how/why color coordination makes a huge difference
- The heartbreak that led Jill to develop her beauty know-how and start a business helping women
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Ever feel like the human version of a fly trap, attracting all the wrong guys? You've escaped one horrible relationship only to find yourself being taking advantage of by a new creep or a long string of them. So, what's the key to flipping your magnetic force so you repel toddlers in grown-up bodies and attract only real men?
The secret isn't a dating app, compatibility algorithm, or a 75-step checklist. In fact, it isn't anything outside of you at all. Finding real love after divorce is as much about educating, choosing, and empowering yourself as it is discovering a healthy partner.
If you're hankering for the real deal, hit play to learn:
- FIVE facts that will help you identify emotionally stunted/harmful men so you can stay the heck away
- Why Christian women are the perfect candidates for abusive relationships (through no fault of their own)
- What an emotionally mature man looks likes (yes, they really do exist)
- Validation for women who have no interest in a relationship—EVER again
- The formula for moving on after abuse (that DOESN'T EXIST, but it is a beautiful process in which you do have the driver's seat)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
From husbands as masters to pimps as owners, women were made to be dominated. Meghan saw it firsthand in third-world countries through the practice of female genital mutilation. She saw it in missionary organizations that refused to let women lead. She saw it in her own story.
What we believe about gender roles affects every area of our lives and every corner of the Earth.
The answer to this widespread abuse? A place where faith and feminism meet.
In my interview with Meghan, we discuss:
- How everything from barring women from preaching to trafficking them for sex is based on the SAME DAMAGING BELIEFS
- The moment that broke her heart wide open and led to a dramatic change in her life, faith, and work
- Why there's NEVER a good time to speak up against injustice (so she just does it anyway)
- How/why a marriage with EQUAL partners works (though many churches will tell you they don't exist or shouldn't happen)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Living in abusive environments doesn’t just harm our hearts, bodies, and souls, it also wrecks our ability to have healthy relationships. When all you know (or most of what you know) is unhealthy, navigating friendships, family, romance, and even relationships with other survivors can be messy, confusing, and painful.
I answer a listener question about the challenges of relationships after abuse and how survivors can break out of toxic patterns that helped them survive the past but aren’t serving them now.
In this episode:
- Why you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t in an abusive relationship (but that doesn’t apply in healthy ones)
- Which things you need to GIVE UP and which things you need to TAKE BACK to live in freedom, clarity, and peace
- The critical difference between criticism and feedback (and why both are so difficult for survivors)
- A mind-blowingly easy technique to reprogram your brain out of negative thought patterns (which are the BIGGEST REASON you feel stuck and miserable and afraid)
- Some simple, overarching truths about this entire process. Hint: It’s all about YOU in the best way, and there’s no rush
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Sex is a Catch-22 for you. If you say "yes," it's out of obligation. You feel used, disgusting, disconnected, and sad afterward. If you say "no," you pay for it, 10x over...or he does what he wants to anyway, to you or with something/someone else.
So do you really have the right to say "no" to your husband, or are you stuck in a marriage that is really just domination...and a body that you can't even call your own?
Author and survivor Jessica Ghigliotti and I discuss this hot topic, including:
- A clear definition of consent
- Why it's such a toxic, confusing issue in many Christian marriages
- The TEN most common things abusive/coercive husbands SAY and DO about consent (This list will blow your mind with clarity/truth bombs)
- Questions women can start asking themselves if they think they might be in a sexually abusive marriage
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Some people believe that if your goal is to help people get free from abusive relationships, you can't really love and honor marriage. Many people believe true Christians go to church regularly and always read their Bibles. Most people want easy, clear-cut answers to their difficult, personal questions. But there is no one-size-fits-all approach to faith, marriage, or life. And that's not a bad thing or a cop-out. Want to hear more?
In this episode, I field listener questions:
- Why do I ONLY focus on “breaking up” marriages?
- Do I care AT ALL about reconciliation or restoration of marriages?
- What’s my take on BEING SURE you’ve found a good church and a safe Bible translation?
- Which books do I DEFINITELY recommend for women in abusive marriages?
- Which relationship books should abused women ALWAYS avoid?
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Women who've escaped abusive relationships often become stuck in the healing process. Trauma has disconnected them from their bodies. They obsess over information that explains the pain they've been through. The dreams they had for their life still seem out of reach. They are plagued by self-doubt and self-hatred. Everything still revolves around the past, and their exes.
Sarah Ramsey, a toxic relationship expert and author of Becoming Toxic Person Proof: Clear the Confusion and Learn to Trust Yourself, guides women through strength-based healing so they can recreate themselves and build lives that they love!
In this episode, I interview Sarah about:
- The importance of remembering WE ARE HUMAN
- How the language we use adds or removes toxic shame
- Why abused women are actually high achievers
- How to combine your natural strengths AND savviness to protect yourself in the future
- Why your abuser's diagnosis won't help and doesn't matter
- The basic steps to healing so you can live a life you're excited about!
Sarah K. Ramsey is a Toxic Relationship Specialist, author of the book Becoming Toxic Person Proof, and host of The Toxic Person Proof podcast. She works with women who have experienced toxic relationships to transform their minds and lives by taking back their power, recreating a life they are excited about living, and establishing careers and relationships they love. Her work has been featured in the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit, Healing Narcissistic Trauma Conference, Thrive Global, The Elephant Journal, and The Courageous Woman Summit. Contact Sarah at sarah@sarahkramsey.com.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Christian women facing divorce experience tremendous fear around how to protect their children and help them heal.
In today's episode, I answer listener questions about staying connected to your kids post-divorce, how to handle parental alienation, a healthy approach to decision-making, figuring out if your husband is really changing, and more!
In this episode, learn:
- Why making tough decisions doesn't have to scare you.
- The most important thing you can do for your kid(s) in an abusive situation.
- The reasons rejection can be one of the best things that ever happens to us.
- The ONE WAY you can be sure your husband is actually changing.
- How I help women in tough situations like these every day in my group coaching programs, Flying Free (for women in abusive marriages) and Flying Higher (for divorced women).
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Whether you've escaped your abusive marriage or not, your children bear the marks of a toxic home environment. They may even have to see their abuser on a regular basis, through scheduled visitation. Which raises the question: How do we keep our kids from further harm and teach them to protect themselves when home, the very place they are supposed to be safest, is damaging to their bodies, minds, and souls?
Dr. Debra Wingfield explains how consistency, resilience, social competency, boundaries, responsibility, and even imagination have a role in helping children to thrive, despite the challenges of an abusive home.
Listen to learn:
- A simple question and several easy approaches to help kids stay protected emotionally and physically while they're around an abusive parent.
- How resilience skills are critical for keeping kids safe and empowering them to advocate for themselves in the long term.
- Why parenting with love and logic will actually free you from fear, stress, and a lot of drama, and greatly improve your connection with your kids.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
We offer a ton of free resources to help Christian women feel some hope and like they aren’t alone in their painful marriages.
But do you know where I personally show up every week to answer the deeper questions from individuals? To coach women on their specific problems? To teach classes and create new workshops and offer in-depth interviews with experts and survivors? To help women of faith create life-changing shifts in their minds and lives?
Not on social media. Not on my public blog. And not on this podcast.
I do that in my private Flying Free Sisterhood program.
In this episode, we sit down for tea (I’ll tell you my favorites — and HERE is a coupon for 20% off August Tea), and I share why a comprehensive program where you will be intensely supported and loved and educated is going to 10X your hope and healing in ways nothing else has ever worked before. (I’m not exaggerating either!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Our questions are based on our beliefs. “God did nothing to prevent my abuse. Should I trust him for anything?” “Since separation, I have begun to avoid the Bible, church, and spiritual stuff. Where do I go from here?” “My church kicked me aside after my divorce. How do I find a safe one?”
When our life falls apart, our beliefs are challenged. This process is often scary, confusing, and painful. It’s called deconstruction, and Stacey Wynn specializes in guiding people through it. Join Natalie and Stacey as they examine the beliefs behind these listener questions and the surprising way forward from all of them.
In this episode, learn about:
- How differently our deconstruction journeys can look (which is perfectly okay)
- A way to reframe the hard questions while still being honest with yourself and God
- The freedom that’s found in the tension of “not-knowing” and how you can trust and embrace this process
- How deconstruction can lead to a deeper, stronger faith
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In some Christian circles, the Bible is misused in order to control and neutralize half of the human race through a human construct called Patriarchy. In this interview with Rebecca Davis, we talk about what Patriarchy is, how it destroys women and families, and why it is not something the Bible promotes — but rather exposes.
This episode is for women who:
- Feel like the Bible has only ever been used as a weapon to harm them.
- Wonder what Patriarchy is and how it has influenced their thinking and faith communities.
- Can’t understand why they, often willingly and joyfully, bought into a system based on lies and abuse.
- Wish they could strip away all the religious B.S. and discover peace, safety, and the real Jesus.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Guilt is killing you. Shame is overwhelming you. Fear is crippling you. You can hardly think straight. The horror of your daily married life is mirrored by the agony within you.
Natalie draws from her own story—the pains and the triumphs—to answer two listener questions from women just like you. These women have taken all the blame, and struggle with knowing their true responsibility—whether their bad marriage, and all the fallout from it, are really their fault. Spoiler alert: They're not, and there's even more good news where that came from.
Listen in to hear:
- The benefit (and one significant risk) survivors have in tossing aside the blame for other people's behavior.
- Your true responsibility and theirs (responsibility never sounded so good or so freeing!).
- The choices you have to take back your life (whether from inside or outside of your marriage), heal, and fly free!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What if it’s not your fault that sex is bad in your marriage?
Based on a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women, The Great Sex Rescue unlocks the secrets to what makes some marriages red hot while others fizzle out. Generations of women have grown up with messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible, while men have been sold such a cheapened version of sex, they don’t know what they’re missing. The Great Sex Rescue hopes to turn all of that around, developing a truly biblical view of sex where mutuality, intimacy, and passion reign.
The Great Sex Rescue pulls back the curtain on what is happening in Christian bedrooms and exposes the problematic teachings that wreck sex for so many couples–and the good teachings that leave others breathless. In the #metoo and #churchtoo era, not only is this book a long overdue corrective to church culture, it is poised to free thousands of couples from repressive and dissatisfying sex lives so that they can experience the kind of intimacy and wholeness God intended.
Sheila Wray Gregoire is a popular speaker, marriage blogger, and the author of eight books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands, children, and friends. Her passion is for marriage, and she and her husband Keith speak together at marriage outreaches and at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face. You can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she’s constantly texting her two young adult daughters and knitting. Preferably simultaneously.
Warning: The subject of this episode is sex and may contain content inappropriate for children.
In this episode you’ll discover:
- Why Sheila and her team decided to do such a massive study of over 20,000 Christian women.
- Some of the harmful messages found in best-selling Christian marriage books that have caused the greatest damage in the lives of women.
- What God’s original plan for sex in marriage actually was and how far the evangelical church has strayed from that plan.
- Which Christian marriage book got a score of ZERO out of 48 in a rubric that measures healthy human sexuality. (And guess what? It’s the number one Christian marriage book on the market!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this continuation of Episode 105, Natalie discusses the different stories we tell ourselves to explain abuse and oppression in the world. You'll learn how to question these stories, how to discover the results these stories create in the world, and she'll give you some new ways of thinking about the problem that allow God to be both loving and powerful even in the midst of abuse and oppression.
If you're feeling confused and afraid of your Creator, this episode will be like a tall glass of water in a desert land.
This episode builds on Part One, so listen to that one first!
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
When you're surrounded by injustice, it's easy to believe that's all the future holds for you, that's all family court holds for you. You wonder if there is any fairness for victims of abuse.
Judge Tim Fall stands as a contrast. Inside the courtroom, his rule is based on equitable and fair hearings for all. Outside the courtroom, he is an advocate for women and marginalized people groups. His interview provides encouraging evidence of the growing visibility of domestic violence, the methods judges use to make determinations, and the hope you can have that justice is not dead.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Why does God allow injustice and oppression? Survivors have to wrestle with this question when they lose their families, their freedoms, their children, their finances, their homes, and their churches.
What kind of God allows wickedness to prevail while victims suffer alone?
In this episode Natalie talks about five different ways of believing about God and how each belief is a different choice that creates a different result in our lives and the lives of those around us.
If you have ever felt a growing despair as your faith wobbles and shakes in the face of abuse, this episode will offer your heart and mind a safe place to land.
This is Part One of a two-part series. Part Two will be presented in Episode 107.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It's the deepest form of betrayal you've ever imagined or experienced. In fact, you may have denied the truth for years, because the pain of reality was too devastating. It's destroyed your view of God, men, and family. If you're wondering "How do I heal from sexual and spiritual abuse?" your first step is to start with the truth of how you've been harmed. Acknowledging the very reality you denied to protect yourself is what will begin your journey of freedom, healing, and restoration.
In today's podcast:
-The importance and power of honesty in a survivor's recovery process
-The actual purpose of confrontation with toxic/abusive people
-The real meaning of your anger and hatred of God for what you've endured (it's actually beautiful, valid, and acceptable)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You've been promised help in your destructive marriage and recovery hundreds of times. How many of those delivered? What if you could see and hear proof before you invested in a program that offers life-changing coaching, support, community, and resources? Three women talk about their progression from victims to survivors to helping others get free — becoming Christian women who care about other Christian women.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Has another year passed by of the same hurt, the same torment, and the same questions? You want to change your story but you're stuck. Have you been wondering whether Flying Free or Flying Higher is your next step? Two women share their stories of discovering these groups and the myriad ways their lives changed for the better. From learning what narcissism and emotional abuse are to what life can look like for a Christian women after divorce, Stacey and Robin tell how they've grown, healed, and found safe community through the Flying Free Sisterhood.
Don't let any more time pass without investing in your healing and your future. Your life isn't over; your story isn't over; you are not irredeemably broken. Stacey and Robin are living proof.
Read or download the transcript here
This episode is your chance to hear:
- Raw, powerful examples of how Flying Free and Flying Higher help women just like you
- The specific differences between the two groups (and how they fit perfectly with the natural progression of a survivor's journey)
- How to get on the waiting lists so YOU can start Flying Free or Flying Higher
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
One of the most satisfying and helpful things for survivors of emotional and spiritual abuse is finding answers. After living in confusion and chaos for years, answers are a homecoming for our weary souls and roots for our new identity. In this episode, Natalie fields three listener questions from women just like you, including: How do I deal with emotional triggers? How do I find safe people? What can I use to teach my church how to help victims of abuse?
Read or download the transcript here
Listen to learn:
- How and why we get triggered and several options for calming ourselves
- How our beliefs inform our ability to set healthy boundaries with safe (and dangerous) people
- The reality of abuse in the church: it's a heart problem, not a knowledge problem
- How the Flying Free Sisterhood and Flying Higher group can help!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The Flying Free Podcast began in January, 2018 with the hope of educating and encouraging women of faith in destructive marriage relationships. Two years and one hundred episodes later we have thousands of listeners from all over the world, and the voices and hearts of Christian women are rising to their God-given place of human dignity and honor. This is a work of love birthed from a place of heartache and shame. Something only a loving, compassionate, and powerfully redeeming God could do. In this special 100th episode, you'll get some of the best quotes from the Flying Free Podcast so far. Links to the full episodes are included in a special 100th edition transcript on our website.
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
These are the questions that gnaw at your bones, that leave your soul hungry, and keep you up at night. Questions asked from the fire, the long road, the dark, and the doubt. Questions like: How do you deal with the pain of being rejected by your family? You're in good company. I understand; I can relate; and there are answers and a way forward, even in the middle of your deepest pain.
"The fact is, if we are letting other people’s ideas and beliefs dictate our own happiness and our own emotions, that is going to create terrible results in our life. We’re basically giving over all the power for our future, the things we do, our emotions, and how we show up in the world to other people. We might as well go back and live in an abusive relationship."
In this episode, I give answers to:
- What to do with ruminating thoughts of justice/revenge for our abusers and fear/loneliness in ourselves.
- The POWER we have to make our lives amazing, how to do it, and why that's the best punishment for abusers anyways.
- How a strong relationship with ourselves is key to healing, thriving, and deep peace (and how to begin developing that relationship).
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
I get so many questions from women in the Flying Free and Flying Higher programs related to parenting older, adult children who grew up in toxic homes. One of the most common? How do I support my aduilt children who grew up in an spiritually and emotionally abusive home?
These relationships can be painful, tricky, and even traumatic because often the adult kids blame their mom either for getting out — or for not getting out soon enough. And that's just one of the complicated issues surrounding these relationships. So how can we approach our adult children in a way that shows them love and honor while maintaining our own self-respect?
In this episode Becky and I discuss:
- What some of the problems are in these relationships
- Why these problems exist
- What we CAN do in our relationships with our adult children
- What we CAN'T do for our adult children
- How we can manage our own minds through it all
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
We all want to be part of a story. One of bravery, overcoming the odds, healing, beauty, and a greater purpose. In the overwhelm of trauma, all of these things seem out of reach, stolen from us, lost in the wasteland of our pain. But reclaiming our lives through words is one of the most powerful and effective ways to heal, and it's available to anyone! Learn how writing your story will help you heal from emotional and spiritual abuse.
This podcast is chock-full of insight, including:
- how a writing class saved Stacy's life and drove her to teach others about writing
- WHAT writing can help you heal from, and HOW
- strategies/steps to begin writing for yourself
- why your story (and YOU) matter deeply, no matter what you've gone through
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Sara was trapped in an abusive marriage. Her pain was only exceeded by the overwhelming confusion. After exhausting every avenue of help and hope, she reached a conclusion critical to every survivor's freedom and recovery: You are not responsible for your husband's behavior. Over the last three years she's been working to heal and rebuild her life, eventually starting her own business as a copywriter and editor. Now her joy is only exceeded by her gratitude.
Highlights from this Episode:
- why survivors often (and need to) find joy and laughter in the every day
- how losing so much to get out of an abusive relationship is actually a blessing
- some of the common survival mechanisms that she's laid aside so she can fully thrive
- evidence that divorce isn't the end—it's a chance to remake your life, live in power and authenticity, and become who you were made to be
- the vital role the Flying Free and Flying Higher groups have played in her healing/growth (and can in yours too!)
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
My life had become a war zone. If there were red flags beforehand, I didn’t see them. I thought I was part of a fairy tale, a beautiful romance, a love story for the ages. My husband changed after we got married. I followed the script, I made all the effort, I took all the blame and responsibility. Nothing ever helped and nothing ever changed. Until I realized I could save myself.
This is Barb’s story.
Barb Spanier was married for 24 years and now helps others living in the same kind of hell she escaped. Her coaching practice, Integrative Coaching for Life, helps women live authentic, courageous lives no matter the struggles or circumstances they’re experiencing. She also works with Natalie to provide coaching in the Flying Higher program.
Some great nuggets from today’s episode:
- 4 key pieces of advice for anyone wanting/trying to get out of an abusive marriage
- What a script is and how it can influence your decisions (for better or worse)
- Some incredible resources for healing and freedom
Read or download the transcript here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Parenting small children is hard. Parenting small children in an emotionally destructive home is brutal. You’re in survival mode, living in a waking nightmare. You’re confused, in pain, and don’t know how to help yourself, much less your kids. You need clarity and guidance. This podcasts gives both.
Natalie covers:
- the lies women/children believe because of abuse
- the dynamics created by an abusive father/husband
- new beliefs that bring freedom and the beginning of healing
- resources to move from surviving to thriving
Related Resources:
- Resources to Help Kids Learn Emotional Resiliency
- Raising Kids with an Emotionally Abusive Parent
- How to Trust God with Your Kids
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Lipstick on a pig: when you take something stinky, gross, even harmful, and try to repackage it as beautiful, desirable, and helpful. That’s complementarianism — the religious belief that women were created to be ruled over, to fulfill only certain roles, and made inherently less than the men, who have a god-given right to be their mini-lords. Gender roles contribute to emotional abuse in the home and church. The underlying belief system is anything but biblical. It’s ugly, and the root of incalculable harm in many women’s lives. Lipstick on a pig…and we’re calling it out.
In this episode we talk about:
- The origins of our modern day church perspective on gender roles
- How egalitarianism is NOT a rejection of the Christian faith or gender differences
- How that perspective contributes to emotional and spiritual abuse in churches/Christian homes
- What you can do about it
This episode stems as an answer to a listener question:
“I am confused about the difference between egalitarian vs complementarian theories. I have always believed that God created men and women differently and that we have different roles we should play in marriage and the church, but I believe that the power over structure that I have always believed in greatly contributed to the emotional abuse I suffered in both my marriages.”
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You spend every conversation talking in circles, being told why you're always at fault, apologizing for anything he did wrong, and feeling like a piece of human trash. The chance that you're experiencing gaslighting is 100%. It's a favorite tactic among abusers because it's extremely effective. This podcast is a one-two punch of knowledge and empowerment, exactly what women stuck in the mire of gaslighting need. This podcast covers:
- An explanation of gaslighting
- Some classic examples
- The reason gaslighting works on you
- The number one impact on victims
- What a flying monkey is
- How to build your strength, regain your sanity, and start healing
- A simple and easy approach for handling gaslighting, that works!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What if your desire to avoid hurting anyone is actually the reason you ARE hurting them? What if you're actually hurting YOURSELF by living out this desire too?
Boundaries don't hurt others, despite the loud voices that tell you otherwise. Healthy boundaries aren't meant to control other people, ensure they think well of you, or make you into a prickly cactus no one can approach. They're a way of living your truest self and your highest calling, while honoring the personhood of everyone around you.
Listen to learn more about:
- The lie that keeps many women in bondage to poor boundaries.
- Possible responses to setting boundaries, and how to reframe your thinking about them.
- The truth that can set you free to live with healthy boundaries and without the guilt!
- How healthy boundaries reflect the heart of Jesus and the way he lived on Earth.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In our interview with Patrick Doyle, find out:
- How do you know you’re dealing with someone who isn’t safe?
- What is the number one goal of an unsafe church and an unsafe person?
- What are the two rules for knowing if someone is safe or not?
- What is the number one way to protect yourself from an abusive relationship?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
How do you respond when your partner sends you two totally different messages? One message says he loves you and will do anything to make things right. The other message says you're making a big deal out of nothing, and you're actually the problem. Which message is true? In this episode, Daphne, Natalie, and Rachel talk about:
- What your partner is really communicating and how you can know for sure.
- How religious teachings like "your heart is desperately wicked, and who can know it?" and "assume the best" perpetuate domestic abuse.
- Where conviction really comes from.
- A simple way to reframe your experience so you can get unhooked from the lies.
- How authentic love doesn't bind people but rather sets them free.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this episode we interview financial planner, Leah Hadley. Find out:
- The importance of having a financial advisor trained in divorce settlements/planning.
- Why not knowing anything about finances or your marital financials DOESN'T mean you can't get a fair shake!
- Resources/strategies to prepare yourself for divorce (or even if you're already in the middle of one).
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You've been telling him for years how hurtful his behavior is. Literally begging him to stop. It's like beating your head against a wall. You've reached your breaking point. Then he tosses out a question your heart longed to hear from the beginning:
"What can I do to fix this?"
Right at the end. Right before your feet hit the pavement. Right before you've given up.
What now?
Learn about 3 critical aspects of this scenario
- What this question actually means.
- Why he never asked it before.
- Ways to respond that won't lead you right back onto the hamster wheel of death.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
When Lynn, a widow and registered nurse, met her abuser for the first time, she thought he was a safe bet. Who could be safer than a pastor and former missionary? But once he had her hooked in, he tore down her dignity and identity through shaming and neglect. Lynn shares her long journey of waking up to the shaking reality that even religious leaders can be wolves in sheep's clothing.
- Find out what abusive spiritual leaders do when they counsel other abusers.
- Learn about some of the more subtle kinds of domestic abuse.
- Discover the key all survivors need to have to unlock the door of their prison.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You're the problem. An angry woman, a discontent wife, a troublemaker, the ungodly one. You've heard this over and over, in your mind, at church, and from your husband. Why can't you get it together? Where do all the rage, frustration, and ugliness come from? What if the question is the answer? Abusers don't ask if they are abusive. Natalie, Daphne, and Rachel discuss the common reactions women have in destructive marriages that bring shame and confusion along with:
- The need to see that our abusers try to force a reaction by exploiting their intimate knowledge of us.
- How/why it is so common for counselors, pastors, family, and friends to slap the label of "abuser" on a victim (and why you don't have to care).
- The key to freedom from this horrible merry-go-round: CHOICE!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell? These questions haunt women in abusive marriages who want to escape.
There is hope and there are answers.
In this episode, Wendy Hernandez, a Phoenix family law attorney, divorce coach, founder of the Hernandez Family Law Firm, and creator of the Command the Courtroom YouTube channel and online programs, covers several critical topics for divorcing women, including:
- Why the fear of losing your kids is based on lies/misconceptions
- The kind of documentation and questions you should have, before or while you are using a lawyer (including how to find a good one or deal with a bad one).
- How EMPOWERING divorce can be as you set boundaries for a NEW life...of HOPE!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Trust is risk. Trust forces us to decide what we believe, make choices based on those beliefs, and respect what others choose to believe and do. We aren't called to control others, please everybody, or even defend our decisions. But we are called to live bravely using the knowledge, experience, and power we have.
- Trusting God doesn't mean we all make the same choices.
- We are only responsible for our choices.
- Allowing others to be who they are/make their own choices is trusting God and allows us to live in freedom.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Have you ever been told to let the past be the past (even though the past is your present and your present is a prison disguised as a marriage)?
Robin walked on eggshells and hid herself away to survive. After years in an abusive marriage, she believed God didn’t love her and that he hated divorce more than anything. She was taught that her body wasn’t her own, and her job was to make her husband happy at all costs. But no matter how small she became, it was never enough. No matter how hard she tried, he was never happy. When she dared to bring up her concerns or ask her husband to stop harming her and the kids, he blamed her, and the cycle began again. Robins talks about:
- How Flying Free has helped (and can help you too)
- Red flags from her marriage (great for those hoping to avoid toxic relationships in the future)
- How the church made things worse (and why she eventually went against all she’d been taught)
Since gaining freedom from her husband, Robin no longer lives in fear in her own home. She is sure of God’s love and knows that what he really hates is abuse. There is also, finally, distance between the past and her present.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Forgiveness is one of the ultimate Christian virtues, right after love. It “sets the prisoners free.” Except in your life. It keeps you defenseless and bound to people who are determined to keep harming you. Forgiveness seems like a superhighway to destruction, the restart button for more craziness and pain. So, should you keep forgiving someone who keeps hurting you…and how?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Anne Resler about the connection between spiritual and emotional abuse and how they work together to control and neutralize the voices of Christian women. Anne's work as an author and counselor illuminates the brainwashing of many Christian women as well as how God and the Bible have been weaponized against them. Her conversations with survivors allow her to identify behavior patterns that enable abuse to continue as well as effective tools for healing and freedom.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
We are extremely powerful in this world. We don’t even know the power of a woman because our world has used so many tools to crush us into the ground. That’s why our personal work is so critical to our world. We may not see the full impact of the work that we do on our personal lives, but I guarantee that it's not going to be for nothing. You can be an example of what's possible for your children and grandchildren and all those who come in contact with you. Your example is going to reverberate into eternity. I think this is the start of something. God is doing something powerful in the world right now that we get to be part of. But we are pioneers. This is the beginning of a turning point, and we are exploring new territory and are taking old territory back. So this is pretty important.
This episode mentions a brand new program for divorced women of faith. Flying Higher will be available January 2021. You can get on the waiting list HERE.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
While Julie experienced more overt abuse during her formative years, she ended up married to a quiet, covert abuser with a hidden lifestyle. "The hidden abuse made far more lasting marks on my soul than the overt abuse I experienced as a child ever did."
Find out what helped her decide to pay the price for freedom.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Emotional abuse victims are often labeled as codependent because they stay in their destructive relationship for so long. If you think you're codependent because you're choosing to stay with an emotionally abusive partner, we'd like to offer the suggestion that some victims may just be playing tennis with the wrong player for some really good reasons, and they aren't codependent at all.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Author, speaker, and counselor, Bob Hamp, dives deep into the ways religion kills people. This is a fascinating interview about good, evil, and the connection that sets us free from both.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this episode I talk about the challenge abuse survivors face when they begin to tell others what has happened to them. This is where they discover the truth that many of the relationships that they had were actually built on the shaky premise that they had to capitulate to the opinions and desires of everyone around them in order to be loved and accepted by other people.
They realize that it wasn’t just their partner who defined them in a certain way. It was a lot of the people in their life. What happens is that a survivor sees herself mirrored in the eyes of other people. What she sees is a distortion of who she is because other people don’t really know who she is all the time. They have their own ideas, but they don’t necessarily know who we are, especially if they are abusive themselves.
What abusive people usually do is project their own shortcomings onto other people – mostly onto their intimate partner or children. If they have weaknesses deep down in their own life they are ashamed about, in order to feel better about themselves they will project those exact weaknesses onto their target.
Then if she is highly sensitive, she will take on the shame of their abuser. She will take it on herself and begin to see herself that way even though that is not who she really is in her core.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Kathryn loved God and tried everything she could to be a good Christian wife. But no matter what she did, her husband made sure she believed she was the poison in the relationship. Here is an excerpt:
"For me, I was constantly begging, “Give me the grace. Make me better. Help me to be pleasing to my husband. Help me to be a light to my family, to be something that brings life.”
You kind of feel like…The way he made me feel was that I was the poison in our family and that I was poisoning everything instead of breathing life into it. It’s hard because you are begging and crying out for years and years, and there is just nothing.
I thought, “Well, maybe God has turned His face from me.” I even went as far as to think, “Well, maybe I’m not a Christian. Maybe God didn’t love me all these years.” Find out how she got free from what was poisoning HER!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Rachel, Becky, and Natalie answer two listener questions:
-
“After successfully escaping abuse, how do you determine that the respect or positive treatment that you receive from any new relationships are not just another wave of wolves in sheep’s clothing, waiting for their opportunity to show their teeth? It doesn’t feel fair or trusting to look at every person that comes through your new life now that you are healing as just another predator waiting to jump on you. Do you ever learn to completely trust again? When someone offers to help you with a task, is it possible to realize they are just genuinely wanting to help and not actually taking inventory of how many times they’ve offered help and now you owe them help in return? Going through life presuming that the world is always out to get you is exhausting and feels fearful and sad.”
-
“I saw my husband’s relatives whom I thought were strong Christians turn a blind eye to the abuse. Do they have the Holy Spirit in them? Are they ignoring His voice? How can I have heard so strongly from the Holy Spirit to get out, and yet these Christians are telling me I need to stay? Are they evil or just naively in denial? How do I reconcile this hurt?”
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What does it take to get free of a destructive relationship? Here are five new ways for Christian wives to think about their destructive marriage as well as all the other relationships they have that are unhealthy. I want to help you rewire your brain and transform the way you think about your relationships and yourself.
They may even help you get free!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
It seems like a simple question with a simple answer. But I think a lot of Christian women are confused about this. Many of us have been taught from childhood that it's rebellious for Christian women to say no. When religious people called Jesus the son of the devil, he didn’t suddenly have the thought “What if I AM the son of the devil?” Or “Why do they think that of me after all I’ve done for them?” Or “Who do they think they are?” Or “What did I do to make them say such horrible things?”
It didn’t make him feel guilty or angry or out of control. He felt unconditional love - because he knew who he was. That doesn’t mean he hung out with them. He respected their lack of love for him and let them go their own way. He didn’t chase after them or fawn after them or try to get them to believe him. He just lived a consistent life of love and belief in Who He was - and what His mission was. That’s it.
What if we could live that way? Imagine being able to say “No” - and having the other person call you a name or whisper behind your back and accuse you of being selfish, and all you feel is unconditional love and understanding for their anxiety and petulance? But you felt zero guilt or shame?
I think that’s something we can strive for. Here's how.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Julie homeschooled seven children in a 900 square foot home with a man who pretended like she didn't exist. . Even though the Bible was used against her over and over again, she clung to her faith in God, and she eventually got out.
Here's her advice to others like her: "If you are a woman of faith, know in your heart that God is going to take care of you. If you are in an abusive marriage or relationship, He does not want you there. He will take care of you. Trust yourself. I stopped trusting myself so long ago. I couldn’t even trust myself to decide what conference to go to because I had to make sure it was okay with him. I would say you know what you must do and just trust that God is going to take care of you. I think that’s the hardest thing for us to do – to just step out and know in our hearts, we mouth it, we say it, but to know in our hearts that He is going to take care of us. And He will."
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In today's episode, Natalie, Rachel, and Becky tackle a common issue many survivors have when they begin to set boundaries. You'll also learn why taking all the responsibility in a relationship is never a win-win for anyone and what you can do instead!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
"The fundamental bottom line of narcissism is that you are not a real person. You are only some other person or force that affects my life. As long as you affect my life, then I have to deal with you; but I don’t have to treat you as a real person because a narcissist literally does not see others as a real person – neither does the legalist: the legalist pastor, the legalist parent, the legalist church members. People say they don’t understand the church. How can you be friends (and we’ve all heard this) such deep, wonderful friendships for years, and you cross them one time, you do something where they think differently than you do, and all of a sudden you are a pariah. You are pushed away, they talk about you behind your back, and they are cruel. What kind of a friendship is that? That’s a friendship that is self-serving. That’s a friendship that didn’t value you as a person, it valued you as someone useful in their lives. I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, but it answers the question and again is a connection between legalism and narcissism."
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Pastor Dave Orrison, author of Narcissism in the Church, about how legalism breeds narcissism and vice versa. If you've been part of a religious organization that powers over and lays heavy burdens on its constituents, then you've experienced this pathological combination and the spiritual and emotional trauma it causes.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What does the Bible mean when it tells Christian wives to “submit” to their husbands? Was this kind of submission only for that culture? Is this a free ticket for men to take power over their wives? Should a Christian wife submit to an abusive husband? What is submission, anyway?
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In spite of numerous red flags, Kary married her abusive partner when she was very young. After 29 years, she was able to save some money and get out. Now she shares some insight into what made her stay for so long and what she would do differently if she had a do-over. I asked Kary if she could go back and tell her younger self one thing, what would she say?
This is what Kary said:
"Stop second guessing yourself. Trust your instincts and your gut. If you are uncomfortable, that is God speaking and directing your life. Listen to your own heart. You matter. Your thoughts matter, and you are valuable and dearly loved just as you are. You don’t need a man or anyone else to validate your worth. You need to love yourself first and foremost before you can love anyone else. Any man or woman who tries to control you or makes you feel less than is not a safe person. Healthy people build you up; they don’t tear you down. God never asked you to carry these burdens because He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light; so if you are feeling burdened and heavy and weighted down, stop and ask yourself why. Then lay down that burden at the foot of the cross and walk away free. God is not a slave master. He said it is for freedom that He has set us free, so don’t let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Marriage is not slavery. It is meant to be a beautiful reflection of Christ and His great love for us. If it is not, and you are being enslaved and abused, you are free to go. God loves you more than He hates divorce, and He wants you to live an abundant life and not a life surviving abuse."
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Emotional abuse tactics leave a target feeling confused and powerless. Learn some strategies to help you recognize the tactics when they happen as well as respond from a place of clarity and power.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Gretchen Baskerville, author of the newly released book, The Life Saving Divorce, on the issues Christian women face when contemplating a divorce. Find out why most divorces are actually life-saving.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Learn the seven predictable things that happen when you set boundaries with an emotionally abusive partner. Knowing what to expect in advance will empower you to respond with emotional control and self-respect.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
After Lisa lost her husband of 23 years to death, she ended up marrying a man who abused her in every way possible. In spite of opposition from her church home, she got out of her abusive marriage and started Riverledge Farm in Vermont, a gorgeous place where she hosts wedding parties and healing retreats for survivors.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
This week Natalie, Becky, and Rachel answer two listener questions.
- I’m thinking about separating from my husband. How do I explain what’s going on to those on the outside? I’m afraid of their reactions.
- I was told I am “tearing down my house” when I stand up against my abusive husband and set boundaries. Is this true?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
For people with trauma, the suffering doesn't end with the traumatic event. In this episode, Polly Hamp of Think Differently Counseling, Consulting, and Coaching, shares her inspiring journey of healing after trauma, including the moment she told God "hell no," but of course He won anyway. Discover new resources for overcoming your own trauma and why healing can't happen on a timetable.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Healing your faith after abuse is a long and painful process, but it's vital for true healing. Join Natalie for a lesson walking through steps that help you heal your relationship with God. Uncover the two errors that survivors often make during healing, and discover the prize for wrestling the truth from the lies you once believed.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Debby tried appeasing her abusive husband for decades, but nothing ever changed. It wasn't until she realized her health was deteriorating that she knew it was up to her to change something. Listen in to Debby's story of survival, how she got in and out of the abuse, and what happened when she went to counselors (with a twist!)
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Learn how to talk to your children about divorce, and discover the four steps to rebuilding your life after leaving an abusive marriage. Discover one factor that is vital for healing after experiencing trauma.
In this episode, Natalie interviews "Life Saving Divorce" author Gretchen Baskerville about how to cope and find healing after a life saving divorce.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Licensed clinical social worker and abuse survivor Megan Parocha shares about how to help your kids overcome trauma from abuse, divorce, and other difficult life circumstances. Hear the best way to respond when your ex-husband lies about you. Learn the parenting strategy that will help your children build up their inner world and break the generational cycle of narcissism.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Jesus wants you to reclaim your SELF. And do you know how He helps you do that? By helping you understand the skills you already have within yourself - that HE PUT THERE - to rescue yourself.
He didn’t create you to be a helpless princess in need of rescue. He created you to be Captain Marvel. In this podcast episode, Natalie will tell you about a tool with the potential to change the course of your life.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In today’s podcast episode, Natalie shares own story of how she got into an abusive marriage, why she stayed, and how she got out.
Natalie kept journals throughout the course of her marriage, and in this episode she shares an inside look into her heart and belief system while she navigated the relentlessly painful circumstances of her emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Join Natalie and Becky as they answer questions from followers of the Flying Free Facebook page, including:
QUESTION ONE: Since a lot of abuse involves financial abuse, lots of us are short of cash. What are some good low-cost ways a survivor can move forward in the healing process? For example, they don’t have money for counselors, therapists, or even the Flying Free group.
QUESTION TWO: When I went to my church for help in my emotionally abusive abandoned marriage, my pastor said that there are always two sides to every story, that he couldn’t choose sides, that we are all sinners, and that it is against the Bible for a woman to separate from her husband. He basically said that unless I had marks on my body to prove abuse there is no way for him to know how best to advise me. How would you, in the moment of conversation, have responded? How should I have responded?If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Join Natalie and Rachel as they answer two listener questions:
Question One: My husband is an alcoholic and has a lot of anger toward the church and my religious beliefs. There’s also a lot of emotional abuse in our home. We have three toddlers, and I have been a stay-at-home mom. I find it hard in our marriage to raise three kids in a Christian way when my husband has a lot of anger towards my beliefs as well as the alcoholism and the emotional abuse. I guess my question is how long do I keep hoping that he will change? We’ve been separated for quite a few months now, and I just don’t know how to cope with all of that – the spiritual, the emotional, and the alcoholism on top of that – and then his extreme hatred towards my faith. I’m just at a loss of words for how to deal with this. I feel like the alcoholism is just the tipping point for me. Any advice would be great.
Question Two: My ex is dating a Flying Free lady. He was verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abusive during our almost 23 years of marriage, and he is still emotionally abusive to my kids. Thankfully, they are old enough to recognize the behavior. My situation is a little different from most women in these situations as everyone surprisingly took my side during the divorce. Even his own family took my side – my in-laws and my sister-in-law, who I’m very close to – are still very connected with me and my kids. I saw on Facebook that this woman and I have some Flying Free friends in common and she likes the Flying Free page, which probably means she came from an abusive situation. I’ve struggled with whether or not to reach out to her because I know he can be very charming, and I’m not sure if she would believe me. At this point, my ex leaves me alone and I don’t want him coming after me and the kids if he thinks I said anything to her. I’m not sure what to do. I would hate for another Flying Free lady to have to live what I’ve lived through for the past 22 years. Looking for advice on how to handle this situation.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
When our faith is enmeshed with abuse, it's confusing to tell the two apart. That damages our connection with God. How can we untangle the lies of abuse from the truth of God?
We have to do spiritual surgery on ourselves in order to remove the shrapnel of abuse from our hearts of faith--to separate the two so our hearts can beat again in a healthy, strong way in harmony with our Savior.
Join Natalie for a lesson that will help untangle you from lies and renew your trust in Jesus, a God who doesn't abuse people.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Starting with abuse and abandonment in her childhood, Becky was married decades to a man who put it all on her--working, homeschooling five kids, and supporting his selfishness. In waking up, she finally realized the problem wasn't her after all, but that was only the first step in getting out. Listen to Becky's incredible story of crawling to flying.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Join Natalie, Rachel, Becky, and Kim as they answer two listener questions. One - what if I don't want to stay even if my husband seems to be changing a little? Two - how can I continue to homeschool if I end up separated or divorced?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Join several survivors as they get practical about how to go into the new year with hope.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
One of the first lessons I learned when I first began to get out of my abusive marriage is how to advocate for myself—a hard lesson for a woman who spent her entire life believing that self-advocacy was evil. I now see that when God doesn't rescue you from your bad marriage, it's because He wants to do something so much better in your life. He wants you to get strong enough to rescue yourself.
I believe this kind of self-advocacy is a necessary adulting skill that we all need to acquire as part of the growing up process—for our own sake and also for the sake of our children after us. We can’t pass that skill on if we aren’t able to model it ourselves.
We want our children to grow up taking responsibility for themselves, making decisions without fear, and moving forward with hope and purpose in spite of the obstacles and challenges they will face. They can’t do that (and neither can we) if they aren’t able to advocate for themselves.
So what do we need to do to begin advocating for ourselves?
In this episode, you'll learn how to take responsibility for yourself, make decisions without fear, and move forward with hope and purpose in spite of obstacles and challenges.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Christy Bauman, licensed mental health counselor and author of new release, Theology of the Womb. Christy talks about the female body and how the way it works tells a story about God and His love for us.
"There’s something in all women that we want to create. We want to create businesses. We want to create beings. We want to create relationship. We love life. At our core, we love creating life. We love creating love. It just bubbles out of us. But there is a cost, and the blood reminds us of the cost. That’s why we still care. That’s why it still matters to us. That’s why when we are birthing a big dream in our life it hurts. There is pain because we know there are times when we’ve birthed, and it has laid lifeless, and we’ve had to bury. Every one of us know those stories. Every human knows that story. But women are invited to remind us through their cyclical bleeding that it’s only a season - that life and death and life always comes. But we’re not telling our daughters that story. We’re not telling them their birthright."
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The holidays have a way of making abusive relationships, separation, and divorce even worse. Families get split, take sides, and cause more hurt and pain than we think we can bear. Let's talk about how to cope during "the most wonderful time of the year."
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Abusive people almost always demand reconciliation with their victims. Why is that? What is their motivation? And do victims owe their abusers trust and relationship after having prior trust and relationship violated over and over again?
The article mentioned in this podcast is: Message to a Baptist Church: You Preached Death to the Hearts of One Hundred Women Today
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Six Christian abuse advocates including Julie Anne (Spiritual Sounding Board), Sarah McDugal (Women in Leadership Development) and Natalie Hoffman (Flying Free) gather together to answer two listener questions. One question about finding a good man post-divorce, and another question about how to find a good church after being hurt by a bad one. Lots of great discussion in this episode!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews author, counselor, and speaker Andrew Bauman on the intersection of pornography and abuse.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews the founder of Give Her Wings, Megan Cox, about how the church can help victims instead of re-victimizing them.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Rachel and Natalie answer a listener's question about trauma bonding - or why you may feel an addictive bond to your abusive partner in spite of his abuse. We talk about intermittent reinforcement and how that plays a role in abuse.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this interview with public speaker and coach, Patrick Doyle, we talk about how to cope with the traumatic betrayal that occurs when women of faith stand up against abuse in their homes.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
We were created for love and connection, but abuse cuts off our supply to these necessary components to a healthy life. Natalie interviews ARMS executive director, Stacey Womack, about what we can do when we are starved for affection.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Conflict is part of every relationship. So how do you know the conflict you're experiencing is destructive? Rachel and Natalie talk about identifying abuse in the back and forth drama of being treated "nice" one day and poorly the next.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this interview with Gretchen Baskerville, author of Life Saving Divorce, we discuss how women of faith can move from shame and fear into ministry and stability after divorce.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this interview with therapist, author, and speaker, Judy Herman, you'll find out how relationship patterns in your family of origin affect you as an adult. You'll also get some tools to help you move past destructive patterns into a healthier future.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Gretchen Baskerville, author of the upcoming book, Life Saving Divorce. Following her divorce at age 35, Gretchen was single for 20 years before getting remarried, and she has some great insights into how to make those years the best EVER!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie interviews Cherilyn Christen Clough, founder of Little Red Survivor and author of the brand new book, Chasing Eden. She discusses the complexities of dealing with narcissistic abuse in your family of origin.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie and Rachel answer two listener questions. 1. My husband says I'm the narcissist. What if he's right? 2. I'm divorced and don't want to be single forever. Help!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
A fascinating interview with UK Gender Justice Specialist, Natalie Collins around her new book, Out of Control. We discuss the process of taking back your life from the grip of abuse as well as the patriarchal teachings that keep us stuck there.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Women of faith in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships have been bruised by Bible bombs over and over again. Religious abusers love to use the Bible as a weapon of control. As we walk through the healing process, how do we learn to love the Bible again?
Our guest today is Stacey Wynn, a high powered career woman and abuse survivor who left the corporate world to go to seminary and help other survivors. She's going to teach us how to take back the Word of God and use it as a healing tool, the way it was intended.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
You may have heard horror stories about Christians who get divorced. But Natalie and Jeni, both abuse survivors and divorcees, discuss the benefits of a merciful divorce from an abuser.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie and Rachel answer three questions about staying or leaving. What if he is starting to show some change? If I leave, am I giving up on the power of God to help? Is five years too early to leave an abusive marriage?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Today we'll meet an emotional abuse survivor who has perfectly captured the dynamic of covert abuse in an incredible poem. After she reads her poem, we'll talk with her about how she was able to realize her confusing experience was abusive.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Three women of faith who have survived emotional and spiritual abuse share their experiences learning how to go from crawling to flying with the help of the private education and support group, Flying Free.
Please note: this was recorded in early 2019. Since that time the program has developed and grown, now offering weekly coaching, a brand new private forum, and an expanding vault of expert workshops. Learn more and get on the waiting list: https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Emotional abuse traumatizes both the victim and her children. What does she need to help those children recover and heal from the effects of emotional abuse in the home?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Dealing with an emotionally abusive spouse is hard enough, but what if you share children? How does their abuse affect the kids, and what can you do to alleviate these effects?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In episode 22 Natalie and Rachel answer four questions from listeners:
- Why do I still keep hoping my abusive spouse will change?
- Are there book suggestions for abusive men?
- Should I "take up my cross" and suffer - or get out of abuse?
- Help me deal with all the sad feelings I have living with abuse!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
The church is sometimes the most dangerous place for a woman to go for help when she is in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage. Here's why.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this episode, Rachel and Natalie compare and contrast their former marriages to emotionally abusive partners and their current relationships with emotionally healthy men.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What exactly is self-care, and why is it important? Is self-care selfish, as so many Christians seem to think? In this episode, Natalie talks with Sarah McDugal about why self-care is actually a sacred duty.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In today's episode, Rachel and Natalie answer three questions from listeners. How do I forgive my abuser? How do I deal with the emotional pain of losing my marriage? Why do my older kids side with their abusive father?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Can a Christian woman in an abusive relationship take action against the abuse? Or is it her duty before God to surrender to it? These are the questions Rachel and Natalie discuss in today's episode.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Have you felt weighed down by impossible, always-changing standards of perfection, depending on who you're dealing with? Rachel and Natalie discuss the insanity of this common tactic of the enemy to steal your joy and neutralize your power.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
When you separate from an abusive partner, you find the peace that comes from not being in close proximity with emotional/spiritual abuse. However, as your to-do list grows exponentially, so your support declines. Here are some ways to cope with that.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Learning how to make decisions for your life is difficult if you've always let everyone else decide for you. Today we talk about four important truths you need to learn in order to start making necessary change in your own life.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
So you set some boundaries, but then you get the kickback. Let's talk about that!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Rachel and Natalie talk about what boundaries are, where we allow others to cross our boundaries, where we cross the boundaries of others, and how to set healthy boundaries in order to have nurturing relationships with ourselves and others.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Natalie answers some of the most common questions women of faith in destructive relationships ask. Questions like "how can I be sure I'm doing the right thing by leaving my abuser? What if he can change?" "How can I protect my children?" And more!
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Finding a good therapist can be a critical part of your healing journey. Not all therapists are created equal, and many are re-abusive. How do you pick a counselor? How do you end a counseling relationship when it's going poorly?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In Episode nine we discuss divorce and remarriage in the Bible with Cindy Burrell of hurtbylove.com. Can Christians get divorced and remarried? What does the Bible actually say about this important issue? And why is this information not widely understood?
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In episode eight, Rachel and Natalie discuss unhealthy ways of coping with emotional abuse as well as better ways of coping that will enable you to detach and refocus your mind and energy on healthier things that will build you up and help you heal.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What is the number one thing that makes a relationship great? I'm going to tell you, and I'll also give you ten reasons WHY this one thing trumps everything else. Without this key ingredient, a relationship is unhealthy and even destructive.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
What is a fool? How does the Bible define a fool? And what is a woman of faith to do when she realizes she is married to one? Join Rachel and Natalie as they talk about how to deal with the fools in your life.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Emotional abuse survivors often face spiritual abuse in their churches when they go forward to get help. Why is this? And what can women who have suffered this secondary abuse do to recover and heal? Natalie interviews pastor Jimmy Hinton for some insight into this tragic problem.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Is marriage designed by God to be a crucible of suffering for the Christian wife? Or is there a higher purpose for marriage? Rachel and Natalie discuss the devastating consequences of believing the wrong things about Christian marriage.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this episode, we visit with Rebecca Farris, mother, wife, and company CEO about misogyny in the church and how demeaning attitudes toward women perpetuate abuse at church and in the home.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
Women who have lived in destructive relationships give away their voices and their honor in order to placate their abusive partner. In this episode Natalie and Rachel discuss what it means to honor yourself.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!
In this episode we hear from Bob Hamp of Think Differently Counseling as he talks about what kind of change you need to look for in a destructive relationship.
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
Summer 2022 Small Groups are coming! Find out more and register HERE!