Unclassified Woman

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Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. As we conclude Season 3, it seems fitting to share this conversation with Jody Day, who was the first ever interviewee on Unclassified Woman a few years ago.

How do you combat society’s ideology about those who are on the “outside”? It’s not an easy task, but one that a few brave people are called upon to challenge.

Today’s show is all about how we approach taboo topics, the dominance of pro-natalistic thinking and current trends in the way families are formed. Don’t miss this eye-opening conversation!

"I found myself in midlife as part of the 'out' group because of something that was not of my choosing."

Today, we’re catching up with Jody and finding out what’s been happening in her work in the past few years. Jody is the founder of Gateway Women, the global friendship and support network for childless women and the author of Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children.

Jody’s a thought leader on the topic of women's involuntary childlessness and a founding member and former board member of AWOC, Ageing Without Children. She’s a former Cambridge Business Fellow in Social Innovation, a TEDx speaker, and a psychotherapist-in-training. She’s a very busy lady who takes great pleasure in helping childless women get their groove back and find their tribe via the Gateway Women workshops’ online communities and social meet-ups that happen all around the globe.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

The update on the last four years: Jody’s blog, the feedback from her work, and finding her tribe.
In the UK, 1 in 5 women reach midlife without having children.
The difference in the UK and the US as far as making an impact.
How Jody developed and branded her blog so that women can identify with it and not feel alone in their experience.
How the topic of childlessness is a combination of taboo, painful subjects like grief and infertility.
How millennials view childlessness, both chosen and involuntary.
The changing narrative around discussions about our bodies, sexuality, and childbearing.
One area that still needs a dramatic shift in openness---menopause.
Another taboo topic is abortion and its accompanying shame, guilt, and grief. Something we need to discuss more openly...
Why Jody says she talks about her personal abortion experience at every opportunity--simply because it’s a taboo topic.
Jody’s studies that are ongoing so she can graduate next Spring.
In 2016, the 2nd edition of her book came out, with many interviews with childless women and men.
The next stages of the social change that will take place and how legacy will play into the grieving process.
Legacy can be a lifetime of moments of connection and empathy
What “Plan B” looks like and why it doesn’t always mean something different than what you already have.
Jody’s fantasy and what it meant about her value of motherhood and the validation of her mother’s heart.
The compassion Jody feels for all disenfranchised groups of people.
How her eyes have been opened to those who have been judged for something they couldn’t control.
Jody’s Fertility Fight Club talk at Fertility Fest (find it at www.fertilityfest.com).
The pro-natal ideology: the belief that you are a more important person because you’ve had children. The message is that if you are a parent, your life has more value.
The prediction for Australia that by 2030 there will be more non-traditional family units without children than with children.
25% of the adult population will age without having children, but often this sector of the population are ignored.
The huge need for reorganisation in our social systems.
The future of Gateway Women as they tackle two main issues: pro-natalism in the workplace and getting stories of childlessness into the mainstream with humour.
The difficulty in challenging and changing belief systems: how do we get the rest of the world to understand us and shift their thinking?

Resources:

www.gateway-women.com

Find Jody on Instagram and Twitter: @GatewayWomen

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For information about more episodes go to: michellemariemcgrath.com

I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.

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Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I'm speaking to Shanghai based Keturah Kendrick, who shares her perspective on being childfree by choice.

Whose voice do you listen to most? When it comes to marriage and having children, it seems that everyone has an opinion regarding how YOU should live your life. Today’s show is all about listening to YOUR voice and making the choices that make YOU happy.

Keturah Kendrick is an American writer, blogger and podcaster who has lived on three different continents and travelled to more than a dozen countries.

For years she has written about her life as a single woman who sees being unmarried as a lifestyle choice like any other, as opposed to an “illness from which I must be cured.” She also writes about her lifelong disinterest in motherhood, critiquing the cultural expectation that black women, in particular, are destined to birth and raise children.

An English teacher by trade, she has discussed her favourite books with her students in New York, Rwanda, and Shanghai. Her debut collection of essays, No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone, will be published in June 2019. Keturah enjoys food and travel, specifically, eating her way through her favourite countries---and who can blame her?

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Keturah calls New York and New Orleans home. She needed a break and wanted to travel, so spent 2 years in Rwanda teaching English and then found a position in Shanghai.
Her not having a child is “absolutely by personal choice”---she always knew that motherhood would never be “her thing”.
How she has felt the pressure just beneath the surface and has been told she is being silly, selfish, and must be a broken woman to not want children
The mockery she felt when she voiced her desire to never have kids.
How she was raised that the only thing that validated a woman's life was to be someone’s wife and mother.
The subtle influences that she was “being unfair to her phantom husband” by not wanting children.
Where is the logic in anyone trying to convince another person to have a baby?
Why Keturah has become more vocal in her writing and her podcast.
Why parenting should be a lifestyle choice that some people make and shouldn’t be tied to your gender.
Many women around the world don’t have a choice and don’t have access to contraception.
Why there should be tolerance for everyone’s right to individual choice about their roles.
How Keturah uses her creative energy in her blog, writing, and being with other people.
How she’s always been true to herself about what she wanted--”When I look back, I see that everyone was wrong but me.”
The ways we encourage and blatantly tell young women that every other voice but their own is important.
Why Keturah is glad she trusted in her own instincts and didn’t let anyone convince her to go against what she knew was right for her.
How Keturah approached the topic of children with a longtime partner, who believed he may want children.
The conditioning by society to fit the dominant narrative and how this plays out in relationships.
Keturah’s advice: “Ignore everybody’s voice but your own, including your mother and your man. I want absolute joy and fulfilment for everyone. If motherhood is that for you, then do it, but if not, then listen to your voice until you make a decision.”
Parting words from Keturah: Don’t get off the fence if you are undecided! Don’t be afraid to tell people to mind their own business! Listen to no one’s voice but your own!

Find out more about Keturah and her work at

www.keturahkendrick.com

Find her on Twitter: @HappySingleGal

Find Keturah’s blog: www.yetanothersinglegal.com

Find Keturah’s podcast: www.unchainedandunbothered.com

I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.

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Welcome to another great episode of Unclassified Woman! Today, I'm speaking to the lovely Kate Powe.

Many people make assumptions about others without even realising it. We see a woman in her 40’s without children and assume she is selfish or too career-oriented to take time to raise children. Often there are circumstances playing out behind the scenes that we just aren’t aware of. Today’s show focuses on the problems that endometriosis can cause in terms of fertility and family-building and the need for women to have the knowledge about their bodies to make empowered choices. Imagine if we learnt about these subjects in school....

Kate Powe is an amazing naturopath based on the Northern Beaches area of Sydney, Australia. Kate has a passion for helping women balance their hormones and create happy, powerful lives. By integrating evidence-based medicine with mind-body principles and addressing underlying causes of cycle and hormonal disruption, Kate aims to support women mentally, emotionally, and physically to feel balanced and in control of their bodies, moods, and energy.

Kate holds a BA in English from the University of Sydney, an Advanced Diploma of Naturopathy from Nature Care College, and a Diploma of Advanced Metaphysics from Chiara College. Kate’s a member of the Australian Traditional Medicine Society (ATMS) and regularly furthers her education in naturopathic medicine, particularly in women’s endocrinology, including thyroid disease, endometriosis, and PCOS. She has contributed to many podcasts on endometriosis and written articles on the topic for numerous magazines. She has an obsession with all things Italian and sneaks to Italy and the UK as often as possible. Who can blame her!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How both circumstances and choice played into Kate’s not having children. As one of six kids, she always assumed she’d meet a partner and have children---but it just didn’t happen
How she suffered from endometriosis and adenomyosis during her reproductive years, which complicated matters and impacted her fertility.
The factors involved when your life doesn’t follow the assumed “pattern” and the judgments that people make about you about being selfish and career-driven.
Endometriosis is a real issue and taboo topic as a condition that impacts fertility and causes painful periods. Lesions, scar tissue, and inflammation impact the reproductive organs.
Adenomyosis affects the muscle wall of the uterus and contributes to painful flooding periods.
These conditions can take 7-13 years to correctly diagnose because everyone assumes having painful periods is completely normal. It isn't....and women should not suffer in silence.
Both endometriosis and adenomyosis are not isolated conditions, but part of a larger inflammatory process in the body that can have a genetic component.
Women in the past dealt with these conditions in silence, not knowing how to treat them. They weren’t aware of what was happening in their bodies and their doctors weren’t concerned.
The cost of treating endometriosis can be higher than treating diabetes!
Two keys to know about endometriosis:
- The only way to accurately diagnose it is with surgery--not a scan;
- It’s a moveable disease with sometimes silent and inconsistent symptoms.
Endometriosis presents a wide variety of symptoms, including heavy and long, painful periods, pain in legs, discomfort after sex, and a connection with yeast infections.
Now we know that endometriosis is a systemic inflammatory condition around an immune disregulation in the peritoneal fluid and much more than simply a reproductive issue.
Naturopaths look at diet and lifestyle approaches to remove inflammation, detox the liver, and keep regular bowel function
A key in endometriosis treatment is to guard against toxins in personal care products.
How education can revolutionise women’s health, especially now that the driving force behind the push for more information is coming from women
The old treatments for endo included “go on the pill” or “get pregnant”. Not very helpful is your endometriosis is causing infertility!
The way Kate deals with grief now in her 40’s differently than in her 20’s and 30’s when there were lots of questions, suffering, symptoms, and surgeries.
Dealing with the implication from others that “something must be wrong with you if you don’t have children”.
How Kate has dealt with awkward social scenarios and the crazy assumptions people make about your personal life.
How women can assume many different roles in life around caring and nurturing that don’t involve having a biological child.
The added challenges for Kate in not having a partner and not feeling supported in that way.
Statistics show that by 2030 in Australia, there will be more family units without kids, a changing family dynamic, and more global consciousness around “community”.
Why “the pill” is not a good choice because it shuts down the female cycle, but women aren’t taught to question its use.
Most of Kate’s clients are having post-pill problems and hormonal imbalances.
How Kate shows creativity in her passion with women’s health, her energy medicine, and cycle essences to help women connect with their cycles.

Find out more about Kate and her work at www.katepowe.com

I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.

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Welcome to another episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I'm delighted to share my conversation with Adebisi Adewusi, based in Nigeria.

How much courage does it take to REALLY go against what society deems the norm? As far as women’s rights and feminism have come, we sometimes forget that there are places in the world where women don’t have independence and are truly stigmatised for making 'unusual' choices. Today’s show is about someone who walks her own path and shares her own truth with immense courage.

What was even more humbling is how modest she is about her choices. I truly hope you enjoy today's conversation with the inspiring Adebisi.

"African tradition teaches that if someone doesn’t have a lineage to pass on then their life has no meaning or purpose."

Adebisi Adewusi of Nigeria is a rockstar photographer, writer, and content consultant from startups in Israel to multi-million dollar companies in America. She’s helped various companies across the world improve their content strategy and marketing. Besides helping businesses succeed, Adebisi uses her skills to bust myths about women and bring issues that African women face to the forefront.

Through her writing, Adebisi explores issues connected to feminism, gender, and other topics with strong social and political context. She’s written about child marriage in Uganda, ending sexual violence in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, gender stereotypes at work, and other spaces. She’s been featured on numerous international platforms, including the Huffington Post, She Thinks, BBC’s Why Factor, African Feminism, and many others.

Adebisi also runs a gender advocacy blog, The Female Orator, where she educates non-profits on how to get funding and interviews subject experts in the non-profit sector. She’s a feminist raised by women who climbed trees and spoke their minds when it wasn’t fashionable to do so. Adebisi’s feminism is shaped by the past and sustained by the present.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How Adebisi made the choice to be a writer and do her work--without being a mother.
Adebisi’s path is VERY unusual for a Nigerian woman and some of her family think it’s odd to not have children.
Breaking through traditional boundaries and creating her own path--and being at peace with it.
How she handled the topic of children with her boyfriend, who was fine with the decision (even though men are expected to pass on their lineage).
How African society’s attitudes dictate that marriage and having children is normal and not having them is not.
How people believe that a childless women may be a witch.
The connection between religion and African tradition in having children.
If you speak openly about not wanting a child, people just assume you must be crazy. It is just not acceptable.
Not having children is taboo and like placing a curse on yourself.
The pressure for women of colour compared to a white woman--”It’s a grievous offence.”
Being a role model for other young African women.
Women in African culture are bound to the husband to do what he wants, so it takes an open-minded man to be OK with not having children.
Adebisi is from an open-minded, educated family who understand her choices.
Women who can’t have children will even buy them on the black market to avoid the stigma of being childless. Even though this is officially illegal, the buying and selling of babies happens more frequently than many realise.
Adebisi is a strong voice who writes what she wants to, even about taboo topics, and she doesn’t care what other people think.
How Adebisi is fulfilled by her writing, mentoring young women, and telling stories through photography.
Adebisi’s words of encouragement: “It’s OK not to have children and to make choices about your own body. It doesn’t make you less of a woman. You can nurture other people and there are other women who will support you on your journey. It's also important financially support yourself, so you are not dependent on a man and can make your own decisions."

Find about more about Adebisi and her work:

www.thefemaleorator.com

Find her on Twitter: @biswag

Email Adebisi: adebisiadewusi@yahoo.com

I would love to hear what you found most helpful about this interview. Thank you.

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Are you content with the way things have turned out in your life? Some people spend too much time and energy living with regret or wistfulness for what they WISHED would have happened. Today’s show is about embracing what life gives you and running with it to follow your personal path to gratitude, satisfaction, and peace.

Fiona Ferris lives in beautiful Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand. She writes about living a simple, beautiful, and successful life and believes you don’t have to spend a lot of money to do it. Through her books on Amazon and her popular blog, How to be Chic, Fiona provides thousands of women from all around the world with the tools and inspiration to elevate the everyday from mundane to magical. She lives with her husband, Paul, two rescue cats, and two rescue dogs.

"We can’t imagine our life any other way than it is. We are grateful for that and for the way things have worked out perfectly for us. We feel like the luckiest people in the world." - Fiona Ferris

What you’ll hear in this episode:

For Fiona, it was both circumstances and choice that have led to her not having a child.
She married her husband in her mid-30’s and they tried to conceive for a couple of years. When it didn’t happen, they decided not to pursue it further and steer their life in a different direction.
Does Fiona have regrets? No--she is grateful and happy with how things have worked out and feels lucky to have permission to live in an exciting and non-traditional way.
How she feels a small amount of grief in feeling like they will miss out on certain life experiences as parents, but she says that’s only about 1% grief compared to 99% happiness!
The assumption that people make that EVERYONE wants to have children and that you can’t be happy and complete without them.
The myths that people say about not having a child, having an only child, and not having someone to care for you when you’re elderly.
A dream came true for Fiona when she published her first Kindle book that was a collection of her blog posts, Thirty Chic Days, in 2016.
How publishing her first book gave her the confidence in her writing and her ability to teach others how to do it.
Her home in the country on four acres with her pets, cows, and sheep.
Her five books that are available online and a couple are being translated and published in other countries.
Taking control with self-publishing: 75% of Fiona’s sales are Kindle books and 25% are print copies.
How she helps others with their writing through her 6-week e-course, Create Your Dream Life, and her Writer’s Encouragement email newsletters.
Why we should view writing as sharing personal experience and inspiration ---it’s a shame to keep it to yourself!
How writers share their tone and voice and actually become a friend to their readers through their books.
Using nurturing qualities in her writing and work instead of raising children--if her life had taken a different turn.
How we each express creativity in many ways that show we value our strengths.
All the “shoulds” that burden our days if we don’t “let them go”.
Why it's better to attempt to not to be overly influenced by other people’s opinions, but stick with what aligns with our personal life path.

Resources:

Find Fiona’s books on Amazon

Check out her blog at www.howtobechic.com

Visit her website: www.fionaferris.com

I would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to another fascinating episode of Unclassified Woman. It's a biggie so grab a cuppa and a journal ;-)

Today I'm speaking with a treasured mentor of mine, Seren Bertrand. It's always such a pleasure to speak to her as she weaves together so many colourful threads of wisdom in what she shares.

What do mermaids, swans, Isis, harps, and Cornwall have in common? You might be surprised---and you’ll never know if you don’t listen to this amazing conversation in today’s show.

We’re talking about feminine consciousness, Celtic traditions, the interconnectedness between the human body and the earth, how we tell our stories from generation to generation---and much, much more. Get ready for some major “Aha” moments!

Seren Bertrand is a womb mystic and midwife of feminine consciousness who has been a visionary leader in women’s empowerment for over two decades. She is the co-founder of The Fountain of Life Feminine Mystery School and the co-author of Womb Awakening: Initiatory Wisdom from the Creatrix of All Life, which has been described as a revelation and a masterpiece. It’s an amazing book and I highly recommend that you get yourself a copy!

"Often we are called to a lineage or a place and we don’t know why. We just have to surrender, listen and travel with it." - Seren Bertrand

Seren graduated with a degree in English Literature and Modern Philosophy before embarking on the twin paths of a career in writing as well as journeying deeply into the spiritual feminine traditions. Her writing on female Tibetan refugees was nominated for an Amnesty International Award for human rights reporting.

She is passionate about the practical embodied awakening of women and men in a mystical yet no-nonsense way which calls us into our true feelings, brings us back into the body, and roots us into the wisdom of the earth.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How the book-writing process felt like a pregnancy with a gestation of more than five years---and then a birth.
Receiving the Silver Nautilus Award for the book, which covers many topics that were considered forbidden and heretical for thousands of years: menstruation, lunar consciousness, and birthing wisdom.
For Seren, the book’s release has brought deep feeling states of the feminine consciousness.
Allowing yourself to become the container for the primordial birthing energy in every part of nature.
The next book that she and her partner, Azra are already working on and how it feels like a continuation of that birthing process.
The academic reading and research that goes into the writing journey.
Listening with your entire body and not just your mind and ears and how oral traditions factored into ancient Celtic Shamanism.
Plans to create an audiobook version with harp accompaniment.
How a book is connected to your voice and vibration, which is connected to your womb, transmitting waves of energy and sound.
Discovering the path of the swan priestess in Celtic mythology
The cellular memory in Seren’s DNA of the Druids and Celtic traditions.
The tradition of the prehistoric, feminine, Shamanistic, earth-centric womb religion of the faery folk and their history.
Stories as a connection and an intimate weaving of “patchwork consciousness”.
Seren’s interest from a young age in having a great love for the land and a feeling that different places have different personalities and characteristics.
The significance of Cornwall as a sacred site.
How to explain ley lines, womb awakening, and the gift of the human body.
Understanding that the human body is more than a “mechanical lump of flesh” and why it’s a sacred landscape.
The benefit of spiritual lineage in how they transmit through an unbroken thread in epigenetic memory.
The calling in Seren’s life of the harp and how she learned to play and find her teacher.
Why womb consciousness is the key to all creation.
The story of Cygnus and its significance, Seren’s “Star Swan” name, and the swan connections to ancient Celtic traditions.
One of the foundations of womb witchcraft: developing a lineage with the earth.
Why the swan is the symbol of feminine Shamanic traditions in cultures across the world.
The portals of life and death and the common threads between the mermaid and the swan.
The mermaid and the swan priestess: not just symbols, but the legacy of real-life women who are our ancestors who are transmitting to us.
The significance of the 11th day of the 11th month in Pagan worship and the swan feast, which is based on the migratory patterns of the swan.
The interconnectivity of each of us to the earth and the celestial realm.
The importance of taking guidance from our ancient ancestors: “You have to connect backward before you can move forward.”
How stories can find a voice to reveal themselves in succeeding generations, even in trauma: “If we don’t tell the story, then we pass it forward to the generations after us.”
The courage that comes in the gift of going through the shadows

Resources:

www.thefountainoflife.org - For more information about Seren and her work.

Find Seren’s book at www.innertraditions.com or www.amazon.com : Womb Awakening: Initiatory Wisdom from the Creatrix of All Life

I would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to Unclassified Woman and today's episode features the very inspiring Azraella Raphael, a native of New Zealand, who is based in Sydney, Australia.

Azraella is an angelic healer and activator of angelic consciousness. She began her journey many years ago when seeking fulfilment in life in understanding why she’s here, what purpose she offers, and with asking herself, “How can I serve others?”

Azraella’s journey began when she activated her own angelic consciousness and connected to her higher-knowing self to bring through a different set of life skills, using healing and reading sessions to support herself and humanity with growth and evolution. Azraella offers these sessions worldwide online, by phone, or in person, supporting those who have lost their way to align themselves to their highest path of potential purpose. Azraella also offers a range of healing and activation work in groups and is a mentor of the Divine University, offering happy life sessions, and provides charitable service to one of her deep loves that supports humanity: the Sirius Library project.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

It was personal choice that led to Azraella’s childfree life, even though she always thought she would eventually have children. “Through walking my path of my divine consciousness, I came to this conclusion."
Azraella’s divine path with two choices, the “crossroads”: she had the choice to become a divine healer OR become a family-maker. She has no regrets about the choices she’s made.
Why she chose the path of bigger service to the planet, rather than service to her own children, and she gets to use her work to help women align to their higher purpose.
The science of life is to love yourself and your purpose first and THEN love another, instead of thinking that finding a life partner is THE answer and will guarantee lasting fulfilment.
A void and emptiness can eventually occur over time, when you keep yourself so busy with career and family, at the expense of focusing on any personal fulfilment.
Why looking inward for answers goes against the cultural pressure we feel from society to follow the “normal” script for life and its purpose.
Why it’s not impressed upon young people to look inward for their purpose, but to be constantly be distracted by the external.
When Azraella experienced the deepest amount of hurt and pain in a relationship, but never became “desperate” to have a child.
Having “the best of both worlds” occurs for Azraella as she enjoys a special relationship with her two nephews. “Not having children doesn’t mean that you don’t have children in your life.”
The sudden loss of her sister last year catapulted her into a special mothering role for her nephews, being the bridge between them and the spirit world and their mother.
Her role as aunt has changed, even though it’s a temporary change, but it’s one she couldn’t throw her full self into if she was mothering her own children at this time.
Motherhood may be calling to you in a way much different than actually giving birth to your own children. We can 'mother' in many different ways, that we hadn't foreseen.
Why there are many paths to fulfilment, and sometimes we don’t know what lies ahead or how circumstances may be working out for our good, even though it may not seem that way at the time.
Azraella expresses herself creatively constantly, creating her healing programs and workshops. “I’m in constant creation mode.”

To connect with Azraella and find out more about her work go to www.azraellaraphael.com

f you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I also would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to Unclassified Woman and today's episode is with another wonderful lady, Therese Shechter, whom I could have spoken to all day!

How many people have children because it seems “the thing to do”? Most of us grow up with the pressure to follow what society deems “normal.” My guest today, Therese Shechter, was 40 years old when she realised she really could make her own decisions and follow her own path, and for her, it was feminism that helped her figure out what she wanted in life.

Therese Shechter is a filmmaker, writer, and multimedia storyteller from Brooklyn, New York. Her work fuses humour and personal storytelling to disrupt what’s considered most sacred about womanhood. She’s currently writing and directing My So-Called Selfish Life, an in-progress documentary about women who choose not to have children in a culture where motherhood feels mandatory.

Her previous documentaries include How to Lose Your Virginity, about the myth and misogyny around our most precious gift. She also curates the interactive crowd-sourced story collection, The VCard Diaries, which was recently exhibited at the Kinsey Institute. Her films, including the award-winning documentaries, I Was a Teenage Feminist and How I Learned to Speak Turkish, have screened in festivals, college classrooms, and on television from Rio to Seoul to Istanbul.

Therese’s work has been covered in the Atlantic, Salon, Elle, Jezebel, The Guardian, and the Jakarta Globe, amongst others. In her spare time, she co-hosts Downton Gabby, a podcast that discusses media by and about women.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why it was a personal choice for Therese to not have children, to the point of her being vocal about it in high school.
How Therese explored beliefs and desires that were very different than her sister’s about marriage, career, and family.
How every woman feels the pressure to follow what the outside world thinks should be a woman’s identity.
The liberating clarity and realisations at age 40 that she could create her own path.
How Therese felt no pressure from friends and family as such, but felt pressure more from society and media about how she 'should' live her life.
How feminism helped her figure out what she wanted in life.
How a 70’s TV show defied all conventional wisdom and blew her mind with possibilities.
The push to make My So-Called Selfish Life.
The backlash and conversations that occur when people feel free to open up about their stories around motherhood.
Why we should question society’s norms about womanhood. How womanhood and motherhood are NOT equivalent.
How our economy, history, and the media perpetuate beliefs about what is “normal and accepted”.
Some sensitive topics covered in the film are sterilisation, regret about motherhood, and fertility treatments.
The messages sent to young women by cultural and religious groups and how limiting and damaging these can be.
Why there is more than one path in life, but society presents only one that’s deemed “normal”.
How talking about our beliefs provides a sense of community--”Telling the truth about our lives keeps us from feeling lonely.” said Sheila Heti.
The film’s projected release date: August 1, 2019--and why that date is significant.
How Therese shows her creative expression (and gains MUCH satisfaction) through singing show tunes, baking, paper engineering, graphic design, writing, and her podcast.
Why not everything in life should be attributed to a “thwarted maternal drive”.
Why it’s OK to be ambivalent about motherhood and to have a conversation with yourself about what you truly need and want
Even skin colour affects the pressure we feel, because not everyone has the same privileges and some women don’t have the same level of control over their lives.
The myth of “the urge of the biological clock”--”The desire for children is NOT innate within every woman.”
The bottom line: We won’t all agree, but we need open and meaningful conversations about these topics.

Resources:

www.myselfishlife.com

www.trixiefilms.com

A book we discussed, Motherhood by Sheila Heti

Free to Be You and Me TV special: www.freetobefoundation.com

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I also would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome! I'm delighted to share another great episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I'm speaking to the inspiring Dr Kimya N Dennis in Salem, North Carolina, USA.

How much actual freedom are you willing to give people in their beliefs? Most people fall into the trap of trying to impose their beliefs on others in some way. Liberals, for example, will speak of freedom in many areas of life, but they still hold onto pro-natal opinions about people having children. My guest today explores with intellect, experience and research the topic of being childfree by choice.

Dr. Kimya N Dennis is a consultant, speaker, community advocate, educator, and researcher who works with organisations and community members in the areas concerning mental health, suicidal self-harm, reproductive freedom, and being childfree by choice.

Between 2013-2016, she conducted the first known study solely related to immediate African diaspora people who identify permanently as childfree by choice. There were 62 respondents, with 59 women and 3 men across the US, Canada, England, Kenya, Sweden and Switzerland.

Dr. Dennis created and teaches the first known college course of its kind: The Childfree, about reproductive freedom and being childfree by choice. Her research and course are featured on sites such as werenothavingababy.com, lauracarroll.com, and thenotmom.com. Dr. Dennis is an associate professor and the creator and coordinator of the Criminal Studies program in the Department of Sociology and Criminal Studies at Salem College in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

"There are people who believe that women exist only to reproduce, so those who are infertile are seen as failures. Those who are childfree by choice are seen as failing on purpose." - Dr. Kimya N Dennis

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Kimya’s decision to be permanently childfree, because she never wanted to have a child.
Why her work addresses cultural variance because being childfree by choice impacts different cultures and communities in different ways.
Why it is much less common to find black and Hispanic women who are not having children than it is for white women.
African women are told that if they aren’t reproducing, that they are helping to “ethnically cleanse” their people.
Why your beliefs are manifested in behaviour when you vote and in the policies you vote for.
How most liberals are pro-natalists in their views.
The definition of “childfree by choice”--those who have decided to not have biological or adopted children.
“Bingos” and what that means.
The best “bingos”---”Why do you exist?” and “Just have a child anyway, and others will help you take care of it.”
Why pro-natalism is based on a trap and is used to prove male dominance.
How to look at being childfree without “pros and cons”.
How Kimya’s family is accepting and respectful of her decision, even though she is the only daughter in a family of boys.
Kimya’s work and the way it is reaching across the nations
Why child-free men are under-represented.
Some ethnic groups see “childfree” as having a viewpoint that challenges your culture.
Being childfree shouldn’t feel “lesser than” or like losers, or that their voice doesn’t matter.
The hurtful comments that are directed at childfree people.
Why most people have a narrow view and perspective of what love and family look like.
We say we want freedom and equality, but that must include reproductive freedom for all women.
How Kimya shows her creative expression and purpose: “I love being able to do what I want and have my own peace every day, doing my community work, working with my students, and living with my life partner.”
How we can release the taboos connected with not having children and having reproductive choices

To find out more about Kimya and her work:

www.kimyandennis.com

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I also would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to another great episode of Unclassified Woman!

Can one person really make a difference? So many times, we resign ourselves to the fact that “it is what it is.” We want society’s perceptions or opinions to change, but what can we do to affect the change?

In today’s show, you’ll meet a woman who decided to use her talents to create a film to help build awareness---and hopefully, change the narrative around living as a woman without children.

"Having a child is one of the most beautiful experiences a woman can have, but it is not the ONLY experience a woman can have." - Jennifer Miller

Jennifer Miller is a writer and filmmaker who lives in California. I watched her film, A Womb With a View, which is available on Youtube, and I knew I had to talk to her.

Jennifer grew up in New Jersey and worked in various positions throughout her corporate career, which took her from New Jersey to Wisconsin to New York. She moved to California in 2002, where she later married her husband, Peter.

In 2012, Jennifer completed her first feature-length documentary film, which was screened at several film festivals, including the 2012 Santa Barbara International Film Festival.

The film explores the lives of many women who either chose or evolved to not have children, and how that impacted their lives. Her second film was Hair Therapy, which she wrote and directed about the relationships between hair stylists and their clients. The film highlights how that relationship transcends other relationships for many people. Today, Jennifer is doing a lot of writing and is currently working on her novel.

"I had to look deep within myself because I felt very worthless. So much of my self-worth was tied to my ability to create another life."

What you’ll hear in this episode:

As one of five children, Jennifer absolutely expected to have children, but in her 30’s, she wondered if would ever happen. She battled uterine fibroids, which required a hysterectomy, so after this operation, she knew she would never be a mother.
How she wasn’t prepared for the unexpected grief that took over her life and left her feeling worthless.
How a comment from a complete stranger prompted her to say, “I need to change this dialogue.”
Why she decided to make a film, interviewing 28 women who didn’t have children for various reasons. She calls it a “gentle conversation” and “a cathartic experience.”
How she endured the horrible periods and much pain for years before letting go of her uterus----which meant also letting go of the pain.
How she took control of the emotional grief and didn’t let it control her.
How different cultures around the world view childless women with disdain, pity, ridicule, and judgment.
How Jennifer wanted to redefine the conversation because there is SO much more to women than whether or not they have a child.
Judgment vs. Wonderment
The sweeping generalisation and common perception that if you don’t HAVE children, that you don’t LIKE children.
The feedback from the film: that the women in the film were selfish because they chose another path for their lives.
Why people make the decision to have an abortion or to have or not have a child, like finances, the responsibility, relationships, and more.
The common thread with the interviews for the film: Several of the women had been told that they “would never know true love without having a child.”
Supporting children in other ways, and how Jennifer likes to give an alternate perspective other than a parent would give.
Creating other things besides children and giving beautiful gifts to people, showing that a woman’s worth is SO much more than having children.
Why we have to debunk the myth around motherhood and womanhood.
The courage it takes to say no to motherhood---we may never know the reasons behind the decision or the circumstances.
You can never really know someone’s story unless they share it, but we are all too quick to make assumptions about other people.
Why Jennifer “owns” herself a lot more at her age and holds her head up high and doesn’t need anyone’s approval.
What she offers is different and unique compared to what society expects.
The gift that these women can take away from a conversation--compassion in the approach to a stranger.
Why the dialogue needs to change and how the numbers of women without children are increasing.
Some women around the world don’t have birth control available to them.
Besides the Hair Therapy film, Jennifer’s creative projects include writing a TV series and writing a novel.

You can watch Jennifer's film 'A Womb with a view' on Youtube at her channel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZmEeAXqCoI

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I also would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I'm speaking to one of my all time favourite bloggers and all round lovely lady, Susannah Conway in London, England.

Just so you know there is much giggling and we discuss all sorts from tampons and technology - to dating apps! Grab yourself a drink as this is a long one. ;-)

How does it feel to approach mid-life realising that motherhood will never be yours? Would you have regrets? My guest today shares how her life’s path has taken her to places she never imagined, proving there is so much that we cannot control. The key is to enjoy the experience where you can, find peace with it, and use your journey to inspire others.

Susannah Conway is a photographer, writer, and teacher who has been sharing her heart online for over a decade. She helps people know, trust, and express themselves by sharing what has healed her own heart. Her work is steeped in self-compassion, kindness, and practicality, and her courses have been enjoyed by thousands of people from over 50 countries around the world.

Her first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart, hit bookshelves in 2012. Her most recent book, Londontown: A Photographic Tour of the City’s Delights, was published in 2016. I can personally highly recommend her courses, as I’ve taken a few of them. The first one was Blogging from the Heart that I enjoyed several years ago. She shared behind-the-scenes insights as to how she puts together her blog, ideas for blog topics and writing, and I was so inspired.

You must also grab her amazing free PDF that she shares at the end of every year (something I’ve shared with many others) called Unraveling the Year Ahead, in which she teaches you to reflect on the past year and look to what’s ahead. It's an essential end of year ritual so definitely check it out at www.susannahconway.com

What you’ll hear in this episode:

It was a combination of circumstances which have led to Susannah being childless. At 45 now, she’s had 3 serious relationships, one of which lasted 10 years and a year of that was spent trying to conceive.
A few years ago, Susannah had fibroids removed from her uterus and the surrounding area.
Even when women are unsure or ambivalent about having children, society conditions us to feel a certain way and to follow a prescribed timeline or 'the script'.
The “joy” of being a woman, growing up with little to no sex education. We discuss the joys of tampons and sanitary towels ;-)
Why it’s important to Susannah to understand and honour her cycle.
How being a “mother” can take many forms other than giving birth to a baby.
When you feel like “time is running out” and you wonder if a child is even a possibility.
Becoming an auntie to her nephew--how it changed everything
The disaster of pursuing a relationship solely for the purpose of having a baby, and how a partner usually feels in that position when they can feel that desperation.
Being a mother for Susannah would have to be her biological child with shared DNA--there was no other option that felt right.
“If it had been my soul path to be a mother, then it would have happened by now.”
Why having her two nephews and sharing their lives is a reason she’s OK with not being a mother: “There are two little beings that have me forever.”
Why you shouldn’t ask questions or make assumptions about the marriage or motherhood status of others--don’t show judgment and a lack of sensitivity.
Why we are hyperconnected to technology, even to the point of ignoring the people around us, but we are constantly disconnected from each other.
The difficulties of using dating apps when you’re in your 30’s and 40’s and how the subject of having children is approached when trying to meet someone. Always an interesting topic!
Why Susannah doesn’t really want to have a relationship with someone who already has kids, but what she really demands is upfront honesty and transparency about the topic.
How Susannah fills her life with passions and hobbies and does her journaling and photography all the time as she is “'livin’ the dream!”
The “acorn” of dreaming of furnishing her hew home the way she wants, in a way that brings her peace, and how this can help to alleviate stress and anxiety of life.
When she hits 50--and later, 60--she will reflect upon the fact that she hasn’t had children or grandchildren.
“I know there will be a little piece of me that acknowledges what I didn’t have.”
When your parents have to deal with the fact that they will not have grandchildren.
The topic brings up a lot of reflection on our lives and our choices.
The crazy ingrained standard in society of the glorification of motherhood, reflected particularly in celebrity lives.
The extremes of the representations of womanhood presented in tabloids and online media: either you flaunt your body or you’re a mother.
The growing demographic: in the last 10 years, the number of women over 40 without children has doubled, and that will only increase in the future.
Why some people are intent on always adding more children--”Why would you have more than you can carry?”
Remembering the obsession of trying for a baby for a whole year, after having an abortion with the same partner 10 years prior at age 21---no regrets!
Why the decision to have a baby should be a conscious one.
The myriad of thoughts and feelings - and coming to a place of awareness and acceptance, understanding the sadness in life is constantly changing and evolving.
Looking forward to devoting time and care to her next loving relationship, and creating this very special connection together.
Apparently The Guardian Soulmates is where it's all at for online dating in the UK ;-)

Find out more about Susannah's wonderful work at:

www.susannahconway.com

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I also would love to hear in the comments below what you found most helpful about this interview? Thank you.

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Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman. Today I have the pleasure of talking to Faith Agugu.

Do you ever wish you had a crystal ball that could show you the future? Often the decisions we make today might be different if we knew what was around the bend for us. Finding real peace, though, means coming to terms with the past, including the decisions we’ve made and the way those circumstances have grown us into who we’ve become today. My guest bares it all to share her story and how it didn’t quite turn out like she had expected. In spite of it all, she is thankful for the path she’s taken and the impact she can have on other women in the world.

Faith Agugu has always been motivated by service. Her first job after leaving school was with a not-for-profit organisation in London, working with children from troubled backgrounds. She then discovered the bright lights of the fashion industry and worked as a catwalk model for over five years before she left London for the sunny shores of Sydney, Australia.

Faith landed a job with one of Australia’s leading fashion houses, and continued to advance her career as a model, and then launched her own fashion business--Raw Fashion Agency-- in 2004. Representing local fashion designers as a PR and sales agency, Faith also began teaching at FBI Fashion College in 2006, mentoring the next generation of up-and-coming fashionistas.

"I thought it would be irresponsible of me to hand my child over to this man every weekend if I chose to carry on with the pregnancy." - Faith Agugu

After 25 years in the fashion industry, and approaching her 50th birthday, Faith felt the call to return to helping others and took time out to study for a bachelor’s degree in social science, majoring in counselling. Faith launched her new business, The Healing Process, where she offers counselling, energy healing, and mindfulness coaching to women tackling the challenges of mid-life. She also runs regular workshops to assist her clients to work through issues of self-esteem, relationships, and addiction.

Faith also has a particular interest in balancing the disadvantages experienced by the indigenous community. Faith is a passionate, motivated, and driven entrepreneur, and through her private practice, she seeks to help women find their voice and claim their place in society. She is a very inspiring lady, indeed.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

The circumstances that led to Faith’s child-free life. In her 20’s, she thought she would definitely be a mother by age 30 and she assumed the man she was in a relationship with would be the father of her children
That relationship ended, and she met another man and actually got pregnant at age 31, but she knew there was no way the relationship would last or that she could share a child with him
She made the decision to terminate the pregnancy, never realising at the time, that it would be her one and only opportunity to be a mother.
Why many women don’t talk about the topic of abortion and terminations, because of the shame, guilt, and pain.
Why Faith felt an urgency with every ensuing relationship to have a child, even rushing the relationship along to accomplish her “agenda”.
The desire to have a child felt natural for Faith. She had a strong sense of it that she took for granted, and it never occurred to her that it would NOT happen.
The difference in cultural expectations for women of colour or certain ethnicities around the topic of childbearing.
How Faith’s mother had to “come to terms” with the idea of Faith--and some of her siblings--NOT being parents and giving her grandchildren: this affected Faith profoundly and made her feel “less of a woman” at the time.
The estimated facts are that by 2030 in Australia, there will be more family units without children than with them---there are BIG changes occurring!
How Faith felt judged and “less than” when compared to other women who had children.
The deep grieving process it takes to “let go of the dream”.
For Faith, the best tool for getting through the grief was therapy. It helped tremendously to talk about the grief she felt each week with a therapist.
There are different ways to find meaning and purpose through nurturing. Faith resonates with what Melanie Notkin says in using the word "child-full" in that she has children in her life, but they are just not her own. Faith finds fulfilment in her close relationship with her godchildren and her hands-on work as a case worker and counsellor for girls ages 18-27. Ironically, this is the age that her daughter would be today if that pregnancy had continued.
Faith is grateful for the chance to “mother” and mentor other women, to hold space for them, and to nurture them. “I’m at peace with my soul’s choice.”
Faith expresses her creative energy and essence in cooking as a way to show love and intentionality in a purely meditative process that transforms people that receive it.
Faith’s also currently works with daughters on the powerful healing journey for the mother-daughter relationship. This of course impacts all of our relationships with women and how we perceive ourselves as women.

You can find out more about Faith and her work at

www.thehealingprocess.com.au

If you enjoyed this episode and would like to help more women access these stories, then please subscribe and leave us a review or rating on Itunes. Thank you so much for your help. Much appreciated.

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Do you have regrets about the choices you’ve made regarding having or not having children? Many people make a decision and then wish they had made a different choice, but not my guest today. She made the conscious decision to NOT become a mother and to pursue her own dreams in life.

Yamini Toohey is based in Sydney, Australia, and is an astrologer, educator, entrepreneur, and the founder of Global Woman. One of her favourite things in life is seeing women get energised about stepping into their power, finding a life that’s theirs, and living revolutionary lives. She believes that this time of personal, cultural, and planetary change is the time to bring forth new ways of living, relating, and economy.

Yamini started Global Woman because she wholeheartedly believes that the revolution will be feminist-connected and global. Every day she goes to bat for her Global Woman sisterhood, helping them to call on their intuition and hustle, slashing through obstacles fearlessly, boldly, and powerfully.

Yamini’s soul work champions women to explore, evolve, and embody boldness, fierceness, creativity, power, and ambition, which are universal themes in every woman’s life. I can highly recommend Yamini’s work!

"It took me a long time to love and understand my menstrual cycle and realise that it is a creative act. It helped me be curious about the world and want to create." Yamini Toohey

What you’ll hear in this episode:

As one of eight children, Yamini saw that mothering was hard work and caused her mother to give up a lot of herself. She chose to be childfree, saying, “There is no way I could do this.”
How she felt pressure, not from her mother, but from others who would say, “Your time is running out!” Complete strangers would pass judgment on her fertility, but she never waivered about her decision.
How she made unconscious decisions to have relationships with men who were NOT interested in having children.
How she became pregnant once, but then miscarried, which was the best thing that could have happened. It taught her that she couldn’t be carefree about birth control if she clearly didn’t want children.
Having and raising a child is serious business and should not be taken lightly.
How some men assume that EVERY woman’s dream is to have a child, even though many mothers say, “I want my life back”.
The mixed feelings and envy that some women have who are busy raising children, compared with the perceived freedom possessed by those who don’t have children.
The ambivalence that many women feel toward motherhood, but they don’t talk about it.
The myth that every woman feels the need to procreate, because it isn’t true!
How she loves children, but that’s not the same as having what it takes to be a great mom or wanting that permanent responsibility.
How Yamini shows the nurturing qualities in her life through creativity and curiosity.
Her work with the Goddess asteroids and how they tell the story of relationships, autonomy, and gender roles.
How do we “mother” the earth for sustainability?
How small changes can make an impact on the planet and its resources.
How we are individual activists with the choices we make each day.
Yamini’s advice to women to find a life that’s theirs--”Work with your menstrual cycle." We also discuss what you can do if you are no longer menstruating.

Find about more about Yamini and her work at www.globalwoman.com

I really hope you enjoyed this episode. Please subscribe and I would also be so grateful if you would leave us a rating and review.
For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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How are you supposed to deal with the intense grief that accompanies the disappointment and shock of an unexplained infertility diagnosis? What if you’ve finally found the one person with whom you REALLY WANT to have a child? Yvonne’s story covers these emotions and more as she shares the circumstances that have transpired to alter what she thought was her perfect life.

After taking a break to move back to the UK after 20 years living in Australia, I’m back with the podcast, sharing the stories and the healing experiences found in the lives of unclassified women. My guest today is Yvonne John, who is based in the UK and the author of Dreaming of a Life Unlived, the stories and portraits of women who are childless by circumstance. The book highlights women who are coming to terms with their grief and moving toward fulfilling lives without children.

"I was the person sitting with my head down, feeling embarrassed and ashamed and not worthy to belong. I then became someone who has been accepted now for everything I am. It’s just fantastic."

Yvonne was never sure if she wanted children, but she knew there was the expectation that she would get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere between her dreams of travelling and experiencing what life had to offer, she wished for the perfect family, which for her would be comprised of a husband and four children. By the time she reached her 30’s, this dream had lost its momentum, and when she reached her mid-30’s, she’d given up on this dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne decided it was now time to live by her choices. She believed the opportunity to become a wife and mother had passed her by, so it was now time for her to move on to something new. However, it wasn’t until she met her husband at age 38 that her faith in love was reignited. Maybe she could have a family after all?

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Yvonne’s background: married for 8 years and tried to conceive for 3 years, and then an unexplained infertility diagnosis, with a the distressing conclusion: there's no obvious reason why you can't have children.
"I was surprised at how emotional I got at the “unexplained infertility” diagnosis. My heart sank and I knew that I wasn’t going to be a mum. I went home and cried and I couldn’t even talk about it."
She had been ambivalent about having children until she met and married her husband, finally realising that they wanted to share a child together.
The emotional heartbreak when she realised her dream was NOT going to happen. She couldn’t be around children or those who were pregnant. She blamed herself, carried immense shame and guilt, and couldn’t make sense of it all.
Since Yvonne had also experienced two abortions in her 20’s, she thought her infertility was a result of those choices she had made back then.
How she felt the pressure from friends and family and the difficulty in explaining what was happening. Explaining her situation was hard because it opened the door to those emotions for others.
It wasn’t just the difficulty of wanting to have a child, but wanting to have a child with the husband she had finally found later in life.
The emotional journey when people would say, “Why don’t you ‘just adopt’?”---like that’s an easy process to go through
How she found Gateway Women to be a helpful place to accept and normalise what she was feeling, even though she didn’t at first understand the emotions as GRIEF.
How the grief in telling your own story gives others permission to share and opens doors to the healing process.
How Yvonne wrote a letter to her younger self and gave permission to forgive herself.
The common threads of the stories in her book: why she wanted each woman to have a voice and be heard in a deep and powerful way, giving a platform and courage and control over infertility.
The commonalities of grief and sadness for all women who go through these experiences.
The differences Yvonne noticed between hearing white women talk about grief and how women of colour discussed the topic.
The Reignite Weekend, for women of colour, whose grief is represented in a different way, mostly because of the culture they were brought up in, especially because of the language used about “God’s will”.
Why Yvonne felt the hurt, thinking that God didn’t love her enough or think she deserved to be a mother---that she wasn’t “good enough”
Yvonne’s greatest gifts that she's now experienced to heal her grief: public speaking opportunities, self-expression, love, kindness, and acceptance from other women.
Through what she found at Gateway Women, women can be with others in the same places of grief and find the light at the end of the tunnel.
We also discuss abortion - another taboo subject that we need to discuss more openly.

Resources:

Find Yvonne John at her blog:

https://findingmyplanb.wordpress.com/about/

Find Yvonne's book on Amazon at:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dreaming-life-unlived-Yvonne-John/dp/1526201216

I do hope you enjoyed this episode and would be so grateful if you could subscribe on Itunes and leave a review so that more women can find this podcast. Find more episodes at: www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome to a special episode of Unclassified Woman today with the inspiring Clare Dubois.

Clare is the founder of TreeSisters, which is a feminine nature-based organisation inspiring the world’s women to take shared leadership around tropical reforestation.

TreeSisters reflects Clare’s exploration of the links between feminine consciousness and nature’s intelligence. She and her team experiment overtly to figure out how to call forth the unique capacities and creativity of women on behalf of trees. They aim to be funding ONE MILLION trees per month by the end of 2017!

Clare is known for her direct catalytic energy, her whole systems approach to behavioural change and her unending loyalty and love for the natural world.

There is only one truth - and that is our indivisibility from nature - Clare Dubois

For two decades, Clare created behavioural change processes within the personal growth and social change sectors and volunteered for three years as the UK coordinator for a massive agro-forestry initiative in southern India called Project Greenhands. Her aim in life is to reclaim balance, rediscover freedom and health, and to be walking permission for those who are fed up with being held back and just want to “have a go.”

I believe that Clare is a great example of this and a role model for us all. She’s someone who has thrown herself into her life mission, and for me, she explains eloquently how female leadership and eco-revolution are a natural partnership.

"I had a complete mind-bending experience realising the depth of ecological destruction that we’re in. I knew it was bad, but I had an educational experience that floored me. I knew I had to do something." Clare Dubois

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Clare’s background as a business coach and intuitive, working in education and living her passion for consciousness and helping people find liberation;
How she went to India to find enlightenment and found Project Greenhands;
Why we must realise that our planet is in peril;
The combination of spirituality, social justice, and ecology;
What it will take to wake up humanity;
Clare’s car accident as a catalyst and the personal message she received about reforesting the tropics through the women of the world;
The link between women and reforestation within the female receptive space;
How today’s people are stealing from future generations;
The process of discovering how to engage and encourage;
How we live as humans and as women;
Embodying the intellectual changes that must come as we deepen our understanding;
Cooling the planet by reforesting: all because of CO2 absorption;
The mycelial network that links all the trees in a forest;
The Amazon rainforest: it’s the size of the moon, but 40% degraded;
The rising and falling of water vapour: the heartbeat of the forest that has disrupted the rainfall;
Things that happen because of trees:
- Trees absorb CO2 and trap the heat that causes global warming.
- If the trees aren’t there, the CO2 dissolves in the oceans and harms the food chain there.
- We need kelp and trees because they are most effective at sequestering carbon.
Why we need to reduce dependence on fossil fuels;
Why staying plugged into technology means you can’t listen to your intuition;
Clare’s 9-day nature awakening trip and its benefits and correlation to womb awakening;
The reality of the blessed life of Western women compared to most women around the world—all amidst the destabilisation of our planet;
Clare’s damage from childhood abuse;
Yearning to be pregnant, but not wanting a child;
Why TreeSisters is everything parenting is about;
The profound privilege of women in giving back;
Exciting upcoming focus for TreeSisters.

Humanity is running out of time, but it’s not over yet. It’s going to take everyone rising to the challenge to get through what is coming. "The single greatest threat facing humanity is fear of failure, but you can call everything you do 'an experiment'. You can’t fail at an experiment; you can only learn."

Resources:

www.billiontrees.me

www.treesisters.org

I do hope you enjoyed this episode with this important message from Clare. Please join us and become a Treesister!

To help spread this message please leave us a review or rating on Itunes and share with your friends. Let's be more conscious of the future we are creating.

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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My guest today is the inspiring Flora Bowley, a painter, creative pioneer, gentle guide, and author of two books: Brave Intuitive Painting and Creative Revolution.

Flora blends over 20 years’ experience as a yoga teacher instructor, healer, and lifelong seeker. She passionately believes creative expression is waiting to unfold within every person who is brave enough to trust, let go, play, and explore. How good does that sound?

Flora’s soulful approach to the creative process has sparked a new holistic movement in the intuitive art world, empowering thousands of people to courageously pick up a paintbrush.

She encourages this creative expression through her intimate, in-person workshops, books, and online courses. Flora lives with her partner, Jonathan, his son, and their dog, Pearl, in Portland. Her own vibrant collection of paintings can be found in galleries, shops, and printed on unique products around the world.

Newsflash: I’m also delighted to share that Flora has VERY generously offered listeners an amazing discount on her upcoming Creative Revolution e-course happening in October, so listen in and you can apply the coupon code on her website.

Join me for this amazing conversation with Flora!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Flora’s unconventional, winding path in life.
Everything Flora has created in following her dreams and implementing her “out of the box” belief system.
“A blessing in disguise”---NOT getting into the art schools she thought she wanted.
Positive results that come from “just creating”.
The wounding from people telling us we “aren’t good enough”.
Healing, empowering, and practicing ways of being through creativity.
Your soul’s calling and your creative offerings to the world.
“Intuitive wandering” exercise and how to implement it.
Dropping into your intuition and finding wisdom there.
The flow that happens when you engage in the creative process.
Simple, accessible exercises to get your creative flow going.
Flora’s biggest inspirations.
Staying present and being open to focus on what IS working.
Teaching a workshop including “all the beautiful parts of myself”.
Moving forward for Flora: collaboration with others and co-mingling their creations through workshops.

Resources:

www.florabowley.com Find Flora’s courses, workshops, videos, and products. Use the coupon code Flora shares towards the end of the episode to receive 30% off Flora’s Creative Revolution course!

I do hope you enjoyed this episode and invite you to share with a friend. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

I would be so grateful if you would leave a rating or review on Itunes. Thank you!

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My guest today on Unclassified Woman is the fabulous Mary Reynolds, who is based in Ireland, one of my favourite places in the world. (I am 3/4 Irish so slightly biased!).

Mary lives and breathes her work as a landscape and garden designer, teaching others how to connect with the land beneath our feet and have a nurturing relationship with it.

Her gorgeous book that is about much more than mere gardening. It's a call to action for all of us. The Garden Awakening highlights her role as “a guardian rather than a gardener.” She believes in cultivating a relationship with the land and working in harmony with Mother Nature.

She views being a gardener/land owner as someone who is like a parent guiding a child. In creating vibrant and magical spaces, she displays her creative spirit where gardens are a partnership between sensitive souls and the earth that nurtures us.

I highly recommend Dare to be Wild, a film inspired by a period in her life, when she became the youngest woman to win the gold medal at the prestigious Chelsea Flower Show. (Download after listening to this podcast on Google Play Movies).

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why Mary is a “custodian of the land” and a “creature of the forest”;
Feeling at home and strongly connected to nature;
A strong childhood memory of a field, sunshine, and butterflies;
Belonging to the family of plants and creatures;
Different places, different vibrations, and unique personalities;
Our connection with places and bodies, mirroring the earth;
Working in harmony with the land;
Our role as guardians and light holders of the woodlands;
Abuse of the land reflecting the abuse of women;
How we treat the earth with industrial farming and chemicals;
The synchronistic system between us and the earth;
How Mary communicates with the earth, the plants, and the creatures;
Her advice? Find some land to work with in your community;
The unfair distribution of land;
“Dismantle the ego-self and create the eco-self.”
Evolving in the future and what's next for Mary;
How the film came about;
Remembering what’s important and finding your way home;
How working with the land heals your heart.

Order Mary's book: here:https://www.michellemariemcgrath.com/garden-awakening-designs-nurture-land/

To follow Mary on her journey as she works her gardens and her land, you can visit her website: http://marymary.ie

I do hope you enjoyed this episode and would be eternally grateful if you left us a testimonial or rating on itunes. Please subscribe and share with a friend who would enjoy.

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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How do you feel about the power of the womb, menstruation, and the mystique of the Divine Feminine? Today we are going to dive in.

You may not have given much thought to these concepts, but they are pivotal in so many areas relevant to understanding our bodies and souls.

My guests today will enlighten you in many ways. Today’s episode is more of a pilgrimage than it is an interview!

Womb Awakening is a pre-historic tradition that has risen to popularity again in our modern culture. Everything old is new again! Come with me as we open the doorway to this magical, mystical journey.

Dr. Azra Bertrand and Seren Bertrand are the founders of The Fountain of Life Grail Mystery School. They are teachers and mentors of mine who have so much wisdom to share.

Much of the visionary work they share about Womb Awakening came through direct gnosis in Sacred Union during the ‘Gateway into the Feminine Dimension’ in 2012. This was a period where the new wave of feminine Womb Consciousness birthed onto the planet. This experience fused all previous studies into a clear essence, and impassioned them to offer their lives to the embodied rebirth of our world, and to support men and women to meet in love again.

NY bestselling authors have described their ground-breaking new book as “a masterwork of beauty, power, and mystical truth, a magical sacred feminine transmission, and a Mystery School in a book.”

Azra graduated from the prestigious Duke University School of Medicine and has been a pioneering doctor, alchemical scientist, and spiritual guide for 20 years. Seren is a womb intuitive and channel of the Sacred Feminine mysteries and has been immersed in Womb Awakening practices for more than a decade.

Together, they are evolutionary enchanters, dedicated to helping women awaken their womb power and assist the rebirth of the masculine into his true gifts, uniting them both in Sacred Union. As midwives of the return of womb consciousness, they draw rich veins of wisdom from many traditions and have assisted over 25,000 people to heal on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level for over 20 years.

After having worked with them both personally and in group consciousness, I agree with those descriptions. They both bring lightbulb moments to every conversation.

We hear much talk about the Divine Feminine and Rising Feminine consciousness, but there can also be much superficiality. These two embody this consciousness and are way-showers to teach us to dive deep into the wisdom of our own bodies and souls.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Their background and how they came to their fascinating work today;
The synchronicity of mermaids, the upcoming solar eclipse, and the Feminine traditions;
Significant energies and events in 2012;
The return of the Sacred Feminine and what it means for women and men;
Dr. Azra’s work as a primal healer;
How the doors of the great Cosmic Womb opened with their love;
The vast umbrella of motherhood;
The link between Mary Magdalene (“magical doorway”) and the womb mysteries;
The divinized womb priestesses of every tradition;
The Divine Harlot/The Holy Whore;
Ancient symbols of the womb mysteries;
The lost tradition of women rulers, oracles, and healers;
The body as the vehicle of awakening and heaven on earth;
Seren’s awakening experiences on a beach in Thailand: finding ecstasy within;
Advice to start diving gently into womb consciousness;
Symptoms expressed as divine communication and the pathway to true healing;
The soul of the womb, its gifts, and painful memories;
Feedback from people on the womb awakening path;
Why men actually menstruate too!
The Womb Circle and oracular awakening around the world;
When it’s time to rest and receive;
Why the book carries the frequency of lunar consciousness and what that means.

Your womb has sacred power and a divine purpose and is the thread that connects you to the Universal Womb and the Source of Creation. You can call it whatever you want - Divine Mother, Goddess, God - but her power is undeniable. You do not need to have a physical womb for this to be the case.

Awakening your womb is a transformative experience and it can alter your earthly life in ways that you can’t imagine. It reconnects your lost femininity and heals your disconnected masculinity.

This is an important step in embracing your multi-dimensional humanity. To continue this magical journey of healing, connect with Azra and Seren at www.thefountainoflife.org

Order their book via this link with free worldwide postage:
https://www.michellemariemcgrath.com/womb-awakening-initiatory-wisdom-creatrix-life/

If you have enjoyed this episode then please share with another woman who would enjoy!

I would be so grateful if you are able to leave a rating or testimonial for the show on Itunes. Thank you!

For more episodes and information go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Do you ever feel judged by others because you’ve not had a child? Not surprisingly, many women feel this judgment of “assumptions” behind the choices or circumstances that have determined their situation.

One woman decided to take on those judgmental scenarios, so she did something about it. She wrote a novel which explores many of the situations that women find themselves in with family, friends and colleagues. I was really interested to read this book as whilst there are many non-fiction works about the topic, it's not the norm to find many novels.

My guest today is Jane Doucet, a Canadian writer based in Halifax - and she knows that feeling of being judged all too well. Since 1993, Jane has worked in various capacities for national magazines in Canada. As a freelance writer since 1998, she has written dozens of feature articles on health, parenting, gardening, entertainment, education, business, and other diverse topics for award-winning Canadian magazines and newspapers.

In 2003, Jane wrote the first draft of her debut novel, The Pregnant Pause. She wrote the book that SHE wanted to read, one that sent a positive message to women who assumed they’d have children, but for whatever reason, have not. Following a negative experience with a literary agent in the UK, Jane shelved the manuscript for 14 years.

Fast forward to 2016, when Jane dusted off her manuscript and self-published her book, in order to maintain creative control. The story is loosely based on her own experiences but is also representative of many women’s journeys.

Having read the book myself, I could relate to the situations, commentary, and assumptions that people make when you arrive at a certain age without offspring in sight. I hope you enjoy my wonderful conversation with Jane about her fascinating novel!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

What led Jane to write The Pregnant Pause
An inspiration for the book at the time? Bridget Jones’ Diary
The uncomfortable and unfortunate experience with a literary agent in London
The misassumptions people make about a woman with no children
Addressing the topic with a light and humorous work of fiction
How books and articles helped her write the book
Changes in women’s friendships around having/not having children
Different ways to “mother” without having a biological child
How statistics around the world support the growing demographic
Why Jane’s book is not “just for women”
How the book includes relatable experiences for almost everyone
Why Jane speaks for the silent voices
How labels limit women
How writing brings creative fulfilment
Ideas for Jane’s next book!
Every woman’s story and perspective is valid and unique
The main message of the book: “Don’t judge someone whose journey is different than yours, as you never know the full story."

You can find out more about Jane and buy her book at

www.thepregnantpause.net

If you enjoyed this episode then I would be so grateful if you would leave a rating on Itunes and subscribe.

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Hello! Today is a little bit different with a short personal episode from me and some words that came to me in the early hours of the morning, whilst I was jetlagged. I sent out in an email to my newsletter loves and was overwhelmed by the response. So I felt drawn to speak aloud and share here with you.

Does any of this resonate with you? I would love to hear from you if so.

The Doorway of Not Yet

Standing at the doorway of not yet – so what now?

What if in the ‘meantime’ really means in the ‘me-time’ and is an invitation to go deep, right into ourselves?

The blank page of not-yet-ready-to-be-seen.

What if these in-between times are invitations to reveal to us what we are made of?

Who we really are.

When all is flowing smoothly, it’s easy to take it all for granted, become complacent or write in your gratitude journal.

What if these uncomfortable twisty-turny lanes are where we need to do a 20-point turn to be redirected onto our true paths?

Maybe this is what is meant by the path less travelled.

If the path is clear and well-trodden then it’s NOT our true path.

The difference between a leader and a follower.

Surely ‘our’ path is wild, uneven and and unmarked as no-one has been that way before?

What if the fact that you have no clue what you are doing – means you are totally, certainly, absolutely, exactly right on track?

You are at the beginning of an adventure into who you are being called to be – a more expanded version of yourself, vastly different from the shiny, social media image.

Where is the uncomfortable achy-ness, heavy uneasiness leading you?

Which rock are you being asked to overturn, to seek the treasures underneath?

Which secret doorway may be hidden from view until you STOP. PAUSE. BREATHE and look around for a moment, and say the Abracadabra of our times “I surrender“.

What if when we reach for the lifejacket and say “I’’m drowning here in overwhelm and cannot see due to the fog of uncertainty” is the moment that we receive the support we need?

What if the friction, the uneasiness, the discomfort, the terror and the feeling of not fitting right here in this spot, in this place, with these people, are merely birthing pangs?

Maybe this is THE sign you were waiting for, that means ‘hey you’’ve outgrown this space’’ but the next one is still cooking in the oven of your dreams.

What is yearning, burning, to be noticed in your merry-go-round of ‘doing’ and ‘busy’?

Hiding just of reach from you, like the moon shielding her luminosity from view.

A nervous Dame about to go on stage, taking a few deep breaths, shaking behind the curtain, before……

The hush…..the chills, the anticipation, a clearing of the throat before declaring the next words; the words that could change everything. Everything.

What if this limbo-land awkwardness is course-correcting you to go where you’ve never gone before, to lead you into who you REALLY are?

Beckoning you forward like a guiding mother, anxiously watching her baby take those first shaky steps.

What if this is your opportunity to break out of your comfort zone of complacency, of scrolling, of ‘observing’ what others are doing, of ‘liking’ but not really, passionately, fervently forging into pastures new of your own creation?

What if?

If you enjoyed this episode then I would love you to subscribe and leave us a rating on Itunes ;-) Thank you so much and for more episodes check out michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome to Unclassified Woman. Today's episode is one that I know are you going to enjoy so much. Filled with so many nuggets of wisdom, so you may even want to grab a notebook!

Laura Hollick is an award-winning Artist, Shaman, and Visionary Guide based in Canada. After walking 10,000 km on a vision quest, Laura clarified her purpose and dove headfirst into realising it and making it a reality. She is the founder of Soul Art Studio Inc., a business devoted to circulating love around the planet with creative inspiration and unique artistic creations.

Laura’s life and art have been featured in a documentary produced by Bravo TV called "The Artist's Life: Laura Hollick. She’s hosted and produced over 500 radio shows, and given an inspiring TED talk called "You are the Art". She inspires audiences all over the world with global events that feature her art and insights, such as the upcoming International Soul Art Day (25th May), the Global Vision Quest, the Yoni Art Project and the nü Icon Movie.

Do you yearn for more connection with your feminine energy? Women have the ability to harness that energy to express their creativity in so many ways, and Laura is an expert on the topic.

She shares what she’s discovered about the connection between the menstrual cycle, sexuality, money, creativity, art, and the moon cycle. You don’t want to miss our fascinating conversation, that weaves together so much feminine wisdom! I had so many aha's listening to Laura.

"There’s a changing point in the consciousness right now. Women are recognising their roles as not just being a wife and birthing babies, but that they have the capacity to create in wonderful ways."

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Your “Yoni”: the spiritual centre and sacred gateway to Divine Feminine energy;
Laura’s background: how feeling a disconnection as a child, inspired her imaginative art and a way to bring these dreams into her physical life;
Art as a “home for the soul”;
The body’s physical connection to the energy of creation;
A woman’s role—NOT just to create babies and how we can work with the womb energy to create anything and everything;
Childless and childfree women can still harness this energy to create too.
The biggest block in connecting with creative power can often be unresolved trauma of the past;
Why we often can’t handle the healing required to create a “safety container” at certain times;
What do you need to feel safe in your soul to have clarity in your life?
The fully expressed woman in desire and truth;
Connecting through orgasmic pleasure;
Learning your unique seasons and rhythms;
The menstrual cycle:
- New moon, day 1—higher levels of insights and visions that fuel action
- Full moon—ripening and receiving energies
- Waning moon—darker reflective energy
Gleaning the nutrient energy of the life-giving menstrual blood and how to use this to support our creations. How Laura works very consciously with this energy.
Connection between sex, money, and menstrual blood;
How our energy moves in its natural flow of circulation;
Either you’re on your true life-track or you’re not;
An exciting time for women to be anchored and grounded;
International Soul Art Day, May 25: a global event with virtual connection to women everywhere! Join this Soul event, wherever you are in the world!

Resources:

www.laurahollick.com (Learn more about Laura’s work and art, and don’t forget to take the Yoni Personality Quiz!)

Thank you so much for listening in. If you enjoyed this episode then please leave a review, subscribe and share with another woman who would love!

For more episodes check out michellemariemcgrath.com

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Today’s guest is Jules Galloway, who lives in Australia, while working as a passionate naturopath, speaker, podcaster, and recipe creator. Jules hosts a podcast, Shiny Healthy You, and loves surfing, hanging out with her husband and elderly rescued dogs, and walking the famous Byron Bay lighthouse track.

Jules recently returned from working as a volunteer at a refugee camp in Greece. She was drawn to this work and feels that her childfree entrepreneurial lifestyle allowed her the freedom to pursue that dream and fulfil that desire.

Jules knows all too well the toll that unhealthy living can take on mind and body. She went through a challenging childhood and youth, and then lived a party lifestyle for over a decade. She ditched the stressful city life for a fresh start and a peaceful setting in beautiful Byron Bay. After being diagnosed with Pyrrole disorder, adrenal fatigue, and a gene mutation, Jules learned the importance of nourishing herself with whole foods, supplements, happiness, gratitude, and a good sense of humour. With 10+ years of clinical experience as a naturopath, Jules has made it her mission to help women find their SHINE again through her work and her e-courses. Do you need help finding your SHINE? Join me to hear more from Jules!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How both choice and circumstance have led to a childfree, 17-year marriage.
Thoughts of having children were put on the back burner until she was about 30.
Six months of trying for a pregnancy, and then a hiatus to buy a house.
Busy with careers, and then a diagnosis of endometriosis.
The pushy doctor who said, “Don’t wait until it's too late!”
More health issues for Jules: adrenal fatigue, Pyrrole disorder, hormone issues, and a gene mutation problem.
The move to Byron Bay, hoping for a quieter life and restored health
Perfect house (for kids), perfect yard (for kids), perfect place (for kids)—but no kids!
Weighing the pros and cons of what it would take to get pregnant.
How friends influence the pressure you feel to have or not have kids.
Dealing with family pressure, especially from a mother-in-law who desperately wants to be a grandmother.
How to cope when those little moments of grief come? Refocus on the joys and benefits of a child-free life:
- More time to focus on entrepreneurship.
- Freedom for surfing and other enjoyable activities.
- More time and attention to focus on husband, marriage and friendship.
- Never forgetting to be grateful for the freedom
How Jules focuses her creative energy on a nurturing force in her business and with her clients.
NOT having to decide who to focus energy on EVERY moment of EVERY day
Being able to drop everything and go to a friend in need.
The “Spare Auntie” who can help and support other mothers.
Indirect pressure from friends.
How Jules feels about parenthood in light of her personal childhood experiences.
Respecting the different path and journey of every woman.
Why fear of regret is NOT the best reason to decide to have a baby.

Resources:

www.julesgalloway.com

www.shinyhealthyyou.com

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

I loved this conversation with Jules and I hope you do too! Please subscribe for more inspiring real-life stories from amazing women around the world. If you enjoyed this episode then I would be so grateful if you left a rating.

For more Unclassified Women, go to www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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Have you ever wanted to get more in tune with your body’s natural rhythms? For women, one effective way is by acknowledging the seasons that are within the monthly cycle. Even if you don't bleed any more, this is still relevant for you.

My lovely guest today will have you throwing out the scales, booking the flight, launching the blog, and falling back in love with your life. She knows the missing key when it comes to women’s wellness, and she wants to share it with you! Listen with us to learn about harnessing that creative wisdom within our bodies as we align ourselves with our natural rhythm.

Claire Baker is an Australian women’s coach and writer currently based in London. Through her popular e-books, blog, online courses, and live workshops, she teaches self-care, creative rekindling, how to live life aligned with your menstrual cycle, and how to be kind to yourself and the world. Join us now!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why Claire’s interest in the menstrual cycle stemmed from her own problems with her cycle.
Letting go of the idea of having any control over your cycle.
How contraception interfered with her self-esteem and self-awareness.
The sacrifices women make with long-time contraception usage.
Re-attuning to your body’s natural cycle:
- Clean up your diet with healthy food and supplements
- How Chinese medicine can help
An overview of the seasons mirrored within your cycle, through the follicular phase, luteal phase, and post-ovulatory phase.
Relating feminine archetypes to the female cycle.
Mothering yourself with an internal focus.
Nurturing energy for yourself instead of always for others.
Craving the connection with the natural world.
Using the different energies of the seasons to tap into creativity.
Feminine and masculine balance.
Creativity when you feel blocked or stuck.
In Italy: days of leave for women around their menstrual cycle?
Structuring days and lives around cycles.
When you should pull back and let things go.
A song that embodies the energies of each season of the cycle: How Claire aligns herself with music!
- Spring: Work by Rihanna and Drake
- Summer: Milkshake by Kelis
- Fall: anything by Alanis Morissette
- Winter: Anything by Annie Lennox

Resources:

www.thisislifeblood.com (Look for Claire’s e-books, courses, workshops, and her blog)

I do hope you enjoyed today's episode, rich with valuable content from Claire. For more powerful sharing please subscribe.

I would be eternally grateful if you leave a rating or testimonial on Itunes. Thank you!

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Are you struggling with the decision whether or not to have children? If you are feeling pressured to make a choice, based on someone else's feelings, you will benefit from listening to today's guest, Karin Rahbek, author of "Do I Have To Be A Mother? A Childfree Woman's Honest and Unspoken Thoughts and Feelings." Karin's hope is that this book will help other childfree women to understand and accept their feelings and be happy in who they are (and not focussed on the mother they could have been).

Karin spent several years looking for precisely the book that she ended up writing for herself. The book describes in a potent and personal manner, the thoughts and feelings that are associated with not wanting to have children at all, in a society that views motherhood as the most natural part of being a woman.

It is Karin's hope that by reading and talking openly about the doubts felt by other women, that women can become more honest with one another. She intends to help make the decision about motherhood less fraught with taboo. Listen in today - this is such an emotive topic!

“You define your own femininity and feel beautiful and valuable and loved as the woman you are and not the mother you could be.”

Today, Karin talks to Michelle about:

Her choice to not have a child, even with the pressure of family and friends, who were all becoming parents. “The feeling that motherhood is not for me has been with me for as long as I can remember.”
How Karin's book came out of some deep thinking about motherhood and the different facets involved in making this kind of choice. Karin notes:” I didn't know any parents who actually had a life I would want to swap for." (Very thought-provoking).
The difficulty in making a choice contrary to that of most of the people in your life, with all the pressure that goes with that, to conform. Karin says: “Yes, it definitely takes courage to choose a life without children.”
How many women feel pressured to have a child, even after having previously made it clear that they have no desire to be a mother. Karin says: “When you say that you don't want a child, many people hear you say 'I don't want a child right now'.”
She highlights: if it's the man's choice not to have children, they often get the same type of pressure to conform.
“There was a man writing to me that the exact same story, just the opposite... he didn't want to have children..... after a while his partner said the same thing 'you must have the urge to have kids now?”
How she got the idea to start a dating network for childfree people. Karin says: “My husband and I saw a program with a guy creating a dating network for people who really wanted to have children.”
The reason that she started her network. She says: “I thought why can't these two people meet, they need another person that doesn't want to have children either and that made me start the network.”
Karin finds it interesting and special about women who choose not to have children - is that they know exactly what they want. ”Some people will just go along with the desire of their partner, because they don't really know what they want.”
How different people make the choice with different levels of certainty. Karin says: “There are different levels of having this feeling I don't want kids because some people are kind of indifferent.” (Ambiguity is a huge topic).
Some of the beliefs and questions that Karin explored around the time that some of her family members changed their minds. It made her question why she didn't want to have a child when everybody else had that desire.
The number of women not having children in Denmark is increasing.
“Not only in Denmark, but in all the Scandinavian countries.”
Her interview with the BBC about her book and also about the paradox that the Danish population is in decline, while the market for Danish sperm donation is booming!
What she's had to deal with in terms of pressure from family and friends, to change her mind. She says: “I think I felt the pressure within myself.”
A TV show she was interviewed on about choices that people make around having children. Karin says: “They don't really understand the term 'childfree'.”
Karin discusses how she uses her energy to create in other ways and how important it is to her, to help and give to others.

Links:

Karin's site www.childfreewoman.com

Karin's book is available from Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/lcpvsfb

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. It's fascinating to hear perspectives from various countries and cultures to understand what the differences AND the similarities are, no matter where you are in the world.

Please share this episode with another woman who would benefit and of course eternal gratitude if you would subscribe and leave a review. Thank you!

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome to today's episode of Unclassified Woman and today we have a special episode for moon lovers! It seems very apt with today's full moon.

If you'd like to understand more about how the phases of the moon can affect your mood, mind, body and soul, join Michelle and her guest, Dr. Ezzie Spencer, with today's show.

Today we're going to be talking about Ezzie's new book, An Abundant Life, Flourishing With The Cycles Of The Moon, which is her concept of Lunar Abundance and also her personal practice. This practice partners intellect with intuition and it has helped many women throughout the world, through one to one coaching sessions and through the support of Ezzie's flourishing online community at Lunar Abundance.com

Ezzie has trained as a lawyer, worked in government non-profit and research sectors and earned a Ph.D in Women's Wellbeing and Justice After Violence. As a result of feeling that something elemental was missing in the intellectual world of law, Ezzie began to explore the correlation that she noticed between her feelings and the phases of the moon. Listen in... I know that you're going to love this magical topic!

On today's show, Ezzie and Michelle discuss:

Ezzie's book- Ezzie starts out by giving a summary of the subject at hand, as in her book.
She says: “It's a step-by-step guide to working with the moon cycles, to be able to create your best version of your life - and it's really practical.”
How it stood out for Ezzie in her cultural research, that different cultures, in their beliefs about the moon, would view it as either a Goddess or as a God. As she says: “Often times we think about the moon as feminine and indeed it is Goddess-related in many cultures, but in other cultures, it may viewed as masculine.
Ezzie's favourite phase within these cycles, with the understanding that things are constantly moving within the different stages and cycles of the moon, going between the yin and the yang. She says: “I would find that those yin phases would really be welcome and really my favourite phases throughout the month- although they had their own sets of challenges.”
Michelle and Ezzie discuss a particular time that people tend to struggle with the most during the cycle. People are familiar with the obvious setting of intentions at the new moon and the dramatic and visible impact of the full moon, but there's a lot more to working with the moon! Ezzie says: “I would say that the number one phase which women tend to struggle with in the practice, is the Gibbous moon phase- a few days before the full moon.”
The daily practice which is necessary to develop the awareness within you to assist you through the transitory phases, which may be really intense. Ezzie says: “Just following that constant practice over time will render really great results and change.”
Whether this is yet another example of how we have become disconnected from the cycles of nature. Ezzie says: “You're hear anecdotally all the time, even from people you wouldn't expect about the impact of the full moon...”
The original meaning of lunacy, according to the Greek Triple Moon Goddess. Ezzie says: “Hecate was a very powerful Goddess and she was one of the very senior priestesses (or patron of priestesses, or patron of witches in Ancient Greece) and she represented wealth and magical powers.”
Whether Ezzie has found, in her working with women with her Lunar Abundance Practice, that they have become more in touch with their menstrual cycle. Ezzie says: “I would say that it's one of the things that women are most interested in with the moon work.”
What is the best approach when working to deadlines, when one feels that the current moon phase is counter productive to what needs to be done? “It's about working with these two principles (yin and yang) in tandem and harmony.”
Working with non-negotiable principles and values during the moon cycles. Ezzie says: “To find those pockets of agency you have to be able to be very intentional about how it is that you live your life.”
Ezzie shares some wonderful advice for those women who are still challenged with learning to receive. “There is a whole chapter in the book on receiving and it is correlated in the Abundance Practice with the sixth of the eight lunar phases.”
How working with the lunar cycles can have a really positive effect on your level of productivity. Ezzie says: “The yin cycle is key to being, I feel, highly productive, highly effective, but doing it in a way where you're really able to take care of yourself.”
The greatest gift that Ezzie feels she's received in practising Lunar Abundance. She says: “I feel like...this sense of relaxing and being able to enjoy life a bit more has been central to my life now, vs my life before this practice.”

I hope you love this episode. Find out more about Dr Ezzie Spencer's work and her book at www.lunarabundance.com and for more episodes of Unclassified Woman with Michelle, please see www.michellemariemcgrath.com

If you enjoyed this episode please share the love (and abundance) and leave us a rating or testimonial on Itunes, so more women can receive this valuable sharing.

Thank you!

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Welcome to a special episode! Today the tables are turned and I’m being interviewed by my close friend Mariana Rudan.

I met Mariana when I first arrived in Sydney years ago and we worked together, and she’s been a close friend ever since. She’s a journalist, presenter, newsreader, singer songwriter, travel lover, mother of two adorable children, and an amazing cook! She also speaks a few languages, so is a very talented lady.

Sharing a little of my personal story seemed like a great way to mark the first year of the podcast and to celebrate International ChildFree Day, which is August 1.

Ready?

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Michelle’s pregnancy a few years ago, about which she had always felt ambivalent and resistant to the assumption of 'having to have children'.
At 10 weeks, she knew something was wrong.
Diagnosis: “molar pregnancy”—abnormal cell growth in the uterus, when the embryo doesn’t develop, but the placenta keeps growing.
How a molar pregnancy is linked to a pregnancy-related cancer.
How the pregnancy was a catalyst for ending Michelle’s marriage.
The reason for the title of the podcast
When women don’t follow the “normal” script of life
How judgment of women has played out in the media recently.
The feedback Michelle has received from the show over the past year.
“We all have a different story—and that’s OK.”
The incorrect assumption that every woman feels the “clock ticking” when Michelle hears all the time from women, who never have that experience.
The statistics: Almost 25% of women over 40 don’t have children, and the numbers are steadily increasing worldwide. Around a third of couples in Australia don't have children.
The many factors that play into the decision not to have children.
“Every woman’s path is unique to her.”
How society can change the perceptions and stop the judgment by supporting the choices of ALL women.
Michelle’s current relationship and playing the role of stepmother.
No right or wrong---it all comes down to individual beliefs and value systems
“No children” doesn’t mean “no responsibilities” and often childless or childfree women can feel taken for granted in other areas of their lives.
Opportunities to channel creative energy in a different direction.
What do you love? What makes you angry? Where do you feel there is injustice? What are you curious about? What brings out the best in you?
What if YOU are the one person in your circle that’s meant to create a different path that inspires others and opens their hearts and minds to a different possibility?

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed then please share with another woman who would find it beneficial. I would be eternally grateful if you could rate the show and leave a review on Itunes.

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman check out michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome to a very special show! This episode is monumental because this week marks the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of this Unclassified Woman podcast.

It is also International Childfree Day on 1st August. This commenced in the USA in the 70's, to support and educate those who were consciously choosing not to have biological children.

I’m honoured to share with you conversations with many self-empowered women around the world, blazing their own trails and embodying what it means to be a woman living her own truth. This has been a deeply reflective year for me as I have learnt so much from each of these women and been reminded of how there are so many variables in each woman's life. Sweeping generalisations are harmful and limiting to all women - so let's unite in supporting all women, whatever their life choices and circumstances. We have more in common than our differences and we all want to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Today’s special show features an impactful woman and internationally celebrated yoga teacher, Seane Corn. I had the pleasure of hearing Seane speak in Sydney last year, and have wanted to have her on the podcast ever since. I was thrilled when she agreed and so today I share Seane's wisdom with you.

Seane is known for her impassioned activism, unique self-expression, and inspirational teaching style. She has been featured in numerous media outlets, through which she brings awareness to global humanitarian issues. Since 2007, she has been training leaders in activism through her co-founded organisation, Off the Mat, Into the World. Seane has travelled across the world, teaching yoga and educating people about critical social issues. Her Global Seva Challenge has raised over $4 million since 2007.

Let’s jump right into conversation with this inspiring woman who truly is making a positive difference across the globe.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

It was Seane’s personal decision to NOT have a child.
As a girl, she never especially liked playing with babies or playing house.
“I was comfortable with my decision, even though others weren’t.”
How her decision brought a sense of relief.
Her family understood that her career interests were her priority.
Seane knew that her “mothering” instincts would be employed in different way.
She encountered that age-old judgment: “You’ll never really know what love is unless you have a child.”
How society measures and frames love in the context of marriage and motherhood.
Seane’s frustration and irritation with society’s stereotypes and myths.
“It’s better to NOT be a mother than to be a miserable mother!”
Your position on motherhood depends on how you feel within yourself.
Don’t let other people trigger you!
Some people have NO sense of identity outside of parenthood.
Seane knows that she can reach MANY children and make a LARGER impact with the life she has chosen.
“I had to go and play in that field in order to know that I DON’T want this!”
Attempting to get pregnant (one time) and not succeeding was her “line in the sand.”
Seane’s total life and energy would be devoted to serving that soul if she had a child.
Women have options and can be fulfilled in other ways.
“Not having a child doesn’t make me ‘better than’ or ‘less than’.”
The power of creativity comes in so many ways besides motherhood.
How a non-biological parent has great value in the life of a stepchild.
Seane's partner had custody of his children, so she is in a parenting role.
Seane facilitates environments that shift energy through yoga.
How Seane holds space for people in their emotional struggles.
How Seane bridges the gap between yoga, social justice, and activation in social environments.
The Nurturing Instinct
How Seane can serve others more fully because she doesn’t have children.
Why Seane is active in combating sex trafficking and exploitation of children
Dialogue can create conversation and awareness.
Why Seane doesn’t like the “childless” and “child-free” terminology.
“Check in with yourself and DO the inner work. Meet others who walk the same path. There are many GOOD reasons NOT to have children.”

Resources:

www.seanecorn.com (Check out Seane’s website for DVD’s, programs, and other resources. Look for her book, coming out in Fall, 2017.)

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed then please share with another woman who would find beneficial. For more episodes check out michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Sasha Cagen, an author, coach, and lifestyle experimenter.

Sasha Cagen helps single and divorcing women in life transition to figure out who they are, what they want, and to go get it. She also helps women reconnect to their sensuality and pleasure to help them get in touch with their unique desires for life. She does this work by combining her life coaching with a 7-day transformative tango holiday in Buenos Aires, using tango as a tool to help women reconnect to themselves and grow their confidence. Tango is Sasha's passion and the dance brought her to Buenos Aires.

Sasha is well known as the founder of the Quirkyalone movement, which she created in 2000 to support women and men who prefer to be single rather than settle. Sasha’s books Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper) and To-Do List: From Buying Mile to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (Simon & Schuster) have received attention on CNN, NPR, and the New York Times. Sasha is at work on a memoir Wet, which tells the tale of her own journey of healing from a childhood incident of sexual abuse through many adventures in sensuality. This book is a female "On the Road," a story of listening to impulses from her body to heal trauma, know her own worth, and create a life on her own terms. Let’s chat with Sasha!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Why not having a child was a combination of choice and circumstance
Sasha, now 43, never found the right partner to embark upon parenthood in her 30’s.
How she decided to pursue happiness on a travel adventure
“Having a child simply wasn’t something I HAD to do in this lifetime.”
The difficulty as a woman figuring out what you REALLY want
Sasha never experienced pressure from her family to have a child; she became her own biggest critic.
Why it’s easy to go into “comparison” mode when around friends
Sasha’s near-death experience that opened her eyes about the value of life
How her Tango Adventures became self-exploration for her and for other spectacular women
“Relationships are not for the faint of heart.”
Is there an expiration date for a relationship?
The importance of feeling comfortable with your sensuality
Experiencing moments of grief
Sasha’s honesty about the reality of life with a child and how HARD it really would be
Why she is aware of her needs and limitations
Her creativity is expressed in her passions: writing, coaching, and tango
Why you MUST be true to your own creativity and your own path
The power and energy of simply being feminine.

I enjoyed this conversation so much and I hope you did too. What did you enjoy the most about this episode? If you enjoyed please share with a friend who would enjoy ;-) To connect with Sasha, find out more at sashencagen.com

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Welcome! Today’s Unclassified Woman is Kristen Barnes from Melbourne, Australia. Kristen is in private practice as a registered psychologist and certified life coach. She has 25 years’ experience in counselling, therapeutic coaching, and using her supervisory skills to help coaches and therapists value themselves and carve out a passionate life.

Kristen believes that you are most passionate and powerful when you simply dare to be yourself! Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Circumstances have combined to prevent traditional motherhood for Kristen.
How she pursued motherhood via IVF and adopted embryos over a 20 year period.
Unexplained fertility prevailed, even though she tried everything humanly possible to have a biological child.
How Kristen fostered homeless adolescents in a mothering role.
“It was meant to be.”
Her experience with an ongoing grieving process.
Cultural expectations and stigmas that she has observed.
“I felt like children were viewed as currency.”
How Kristen dealt with inappropriate comments and questions.
Why you need clear boundaries around how you discuss the topic with others.
“Small talk” vs. “Big talk”
How the terminology used about childless/childfree women implies a minority.
How we define the “value” of our lives.
How mothering skills are incorporated into many roles that women play.
The sacrifices and “settling” that can lead to losing yourself.
Selfishness vs. self-care.
Kristen has seen a dramatic increase in women in their late 30’s whose window of opportunity for motherhood is closing.
The assumptions that society makes about women and what they want
Many support groups and communities have formed to support women without children and are doing marvellous work!
Find out more about Kristen: www.kristenbarnes.com

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed then please share with another woman who would find beneficial. For more episodes check out michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Carren Smith, an author, speaker, presenter, and podcast host. She’s an all-around amazing lady who has helped thousands transform their lives and businesses through her unique approach to self-leadership.

Carren believes that the magic happens when clarity, passion, and action are engaged. She has presented to over 450,000 people across the globe over the last seven years. She writes for many publications and delivers up to 18 live seminars across Australia each year.

Carren is the author of Soul Survivor, the account of her fight for survival in the 2002 Bali bombing. Carren loves leading others to find their voice and message through her philosophical approach to life.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Carren says it just “never occurred” to her that she wouldn’t have kids.
She was always and interested in becoming an entrepreneur and wanted to pursue her career more than a family.
Carren realised that the natural path to feeling fulfilled and satisfied didn’t include motherhood.
At age 36, she was ready to focus on something other than herself, tried to get pregnant, but couldn’t.
She had a tumour removed from her ovary, but couldn’t get pregnant. “The universe made the decision for me.”
Often, it seems that the very thing we aren’t sure of, is what the world reflects back to us.
Carren finds inspiration by tapping into time and space to figure out what is important to her for RIGHT NOW.
Carren explains how to pick a random feeling and figure out where it came from.
“We become the instructor for what we want the mind to experience.”
Carren says look to do self-discovery work when you’re already in a good place.
All the pressure we put on ourselves as women could be a reason why so many women struggle to become pregnant these days.
Many of Carren’s clients are mothers, looking to “find themselves” and become a stronger role model for their kids.
Some people want a way through the “parent guilt” and “mother guilt” of raising a family.
Ultimately, we (women) are all the same, whether or not we have children.
People who judge others most often feel inadequate in themselves.
“Nobody has a crystal ball to see the future; if you feel right now that you want to start a family, then go for it!”
We can’t control people and situations.
“Get into the game and keep playing the game.”
There are many paths available to us in this world if we step fully into it.
Carren explains why the voice in your head should come with enthusiasm and excitement!

Find out more about Carren and her inspirational work at www.carrensmith.com

If you enjoyed this episode, then please subscribe and share with another woman whom you feel would benefit. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Alana Helbig, the host of the She Makes Magic podcast. Alana is a wild-hearted gypsy writer and blogger. She’s passionate about living life with purpose, and her musings on this topic have been featured in various publications.

Alana moved on from the corporate world for something more in tune with the life she wanted to live. Her podcast showcases real stories from real women who have left ill-fitting lives behind to follow their dreams and their wild hearts. Be inspired when you connect with Alana at www.shemakesmagic.com

What you’ll hear in this episode:

How witnessing firsthand that motherhood is NOT a “walk in the park” spurred Alana to make the personal choice to NOT have kids.
For many years, Alana focused on building her career in the IT industry.
Her life included a great relationship, great friends, and a great life—but too much alcohol and drugs.
At age 28, Alana asked herself some big questions: “What am I doing? What good do I bring to the world?”.
How volunteering to help sea turtles in Costa Rica changed the course of her life.
How she felt that a career change would help her make a difference in the world.
Why Alana needed to break off her relationship to embark on a healing journey to rediscover the part of her soul that had been forgotten.
How Alana connected with her sexuality and tore down all walls to reveal her true self.
In the past, Alana felt swayed and influenced into behaving in ways that were accepted and expected.
How breaking off the bonds of conformity are necessary to align with what you were meant to be.
Alana’s core message is that we each need to find ways to come back to what is true and right for each of us.
Be careful what you say “NEVER” about!
Alana is openminded with her friends who have children. Equally, she doesn’t want to be judged for her choices.
Alana admits that she is non-conforming with her lifestyle choices in many ways, but she sticks with what is true for her.
Alana shares her unique perspective on the personal creativity that she brings to the world.
Why she was happy to quit her ten-year career and travel around Australia in a camper van!
Alana now spends her time studying energy and soul medicine and working part-time.
“NOT being a mother gives me the freedom to move in any direction and experience all that life has to offer.”

Connect with Alana at www.shemakesmagic.com

Thank you for listening! I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Subscribe to hear more unique and inspiring perspectives on this emotive topic at michellemariemcgrath.com or on Itunes.

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Kelly Surtees, a consulting astrologer, teacher, writer, and editor. She works with clients and students around the world, sharing her infectious passion for astrology. With 14+ years in private practice, Kelly is warm, experienced, and insightful. She loves exploring astrology’s history and loves escaping into the ocean.

Kelly’s specialty areas include career, life direction, health, fertility, love, health, and happiness. Kelly meets clients and lectures throughout the US, Canada, and Australia, though she makes Canada her current home. Connect with Kelly at www.kellysastrology.com

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Kelly made a conscious choice in her early 20’s to NOT have children.
She grew up as the oldest of six kids, never really wanted her own, and always felt like her siblings were, in a way, her “kids.”
Kelly was fortunate to have two aunts who were terrific childless role models and made it seem NOT weird or unusual.
Kelly later married a man with two children from a previous relationship, so she does fulfil the step-mothering role.
Kelly asserts that childless women have an important role to play in society today.
Within any population around the world, there is a consistent 10% of women who don’t have children; this number is higher in some places, like the US, where it is as high as 50%.
In the astrological community, TIMING is the major issue and has to be perfectly aligned for a child to result.
One of Kelly's specialities is working with women who want to conceive, using charts to predict fertility potential and other contributing factors.
Two main astrological factors that influence fertility are the moon and the fifth house.
In astrology, the moon is an important factor for health and vitality; the determinant is what the moon phase was when you were born.
Kelly explains the significance of the 5th house and 11th house and how the moon represents your unconscious self and private feelings.
Start with knowing your moon’s sign.
When we feel comfortable and safe, we have more confidence, strength, and courage to do more in the world.
Kelly discusses the nuances of the stepmother role, knowing your partner has had the childbirth experience with another woman - a special experience that cannot be replicated.
It’s unfair and inaccurate to call those without children “selfish.”
From a young age, Kelly realised that being a parent and raising a family is extremely hard work.
Kelly expresses her creativity through her astrology work and writing blogs, articles, and e-books.
For Kelly, the major benefits of NOT having children are that she can delight in other people’s children, freedom with time and money, and overall flexibility.

I do hope you enjoyed this fascinating episode with Kelly. For more about Kelly and her work, go to www.kellysastrology.com

For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com and subscribe on Itunes!

Thank you!

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Vienda Maria, who is a writer and mentor, currently based in New Zealand. She teaches women who want to do great things in the world, to choose freedom in life and work.

Vienda shares her message and insights through her blog and many magazine articles. Connect with her at www.viendamaria.com

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Vienda made a personal choice to not have children. Motherhood wasn’t something she really dreamed about or felt was a top priority.
A couple of years ago, her mother let her know that her expectation was that Vienda should have children, to bring meaning into her life.
Her mother was hurt and upset with Vienda’s choice, feeling it was a waste.
This clarifying incident helped cement Vienda's choice and feel empowered about it, even though it was a confronting situation.
It can be challenging when we have differing views on such emotive topics, from our families and friends.
These huge life choices can change over the years. As the decades go by in your life, priorities also change.
Vienda has never felt any social pressure from friends to have children, but feels that society at large seems to expect every single woman to have a child!
The world is full of archaic thinking around families and what is expected.
We, as Western women, are privileged to be able to make choices, because so many people in the world don’t have that freedom.
There was a grieving process that Vienda experienced, complete with sadness and tears from letting go of the idea of motherhood—even though she knew it was the right decision.
Whatever creative expression we choose is where fulfilment comes from. This is an extremely personal choice.
Vienda’s mother chose to have her at age 21 so she could experience love; it’s a big responsibility for a child to bear.
The decision to have/not have a child should be made from a place of wholeness and not from a place of lack or fear.
People automatically assume that people without children have ZERO other responsibilities and commitments. We need to challenge our limited perspectives and perceptions.

To find out more about Vienda and her work, visit her at viendamaria.com

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. Subscribe for more at michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Jennifer Spaulding, a relationship coach, speaker, writer, and passionate supporter of single women. Her own journey from being single until her late 30’s, to finding real love with her husband helps her teach others about healthy and meaningful relationships.

Jennifer has been featured in several publications and has spent 20 years coaching clients with her relationship expertise. Jennifer lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and dog. Let’s talk with Jennifer!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Jennifer always assumed she would be a mother because that was what was modelled for her as she grew up.
At age 16, she began having issues that she suspected would affect her fertility.
At age 30, she was single and decided to adopt a dog (instead of a child.)
She met her husband at age 39 but had recently discovered that she had premature ovarian failure, which meant early menopause symptoms. So often we never hear about these types of health issues, until we are investigating if there is a problem.
She later found out that two aunts in her family had also gone through menopause prior to age 40.
Jennifer went through a grieving process to mourn the loss of the possibility of motherhood, but also because she was single and didn’t have the relationship she wanted.
When you are single and childless, there is a heightened awareness of people around you who have what you do not. It can be very isolating.
Jennifer was nervous about dating and having the difficult conversation with a potential spouse about having a child, so early on in the connection.
Telling her then boyfriend (now husband) was a positive experience, as even though he had always wanted children too, but he valued their relationship first and he was very supportive.
Immediately after their marriage, they felt the pressure and heard the questions about when they would start a family.
Jennifer and her husband have both found other ways to love, nurture, and mentor people in other relationships besides parenthood.
They both have the gift of more free time to serve others in various ways since they don’t have children.
The benefits for Jennifer to not having children are having time to write, speak, coach, and mentor to help others.
She also appreciates being able to cultivate a great relationship with her husband, since they started their lives together later in life than most people.
She and her husband love to travel and explore together, and Jennifer loves to find joy in her own life and help others do the same.
Find Jennifer at www.jenniferspaulding.com.

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Subscribe for more at michellemariemcgrath.com Thank you!

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Welcome! My guest today is Kamalamani, a Buddhist author and psychotherapist based in Bristol, England. Her first book was published in 2012, and titled Meditating with Character.

Her latest book, Other Than Mother: Choosing Childlessness with Life in Mind is published by Earth Books. Kamalamani is a regular writer for several publications. She loves travelling, gardening, researching ancestry, and cooking for friends. Let’s hear more about her story!

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

Kamalamani began practicing Buddhism in her early 20’s, when she saw how the age-old teachings of mindfulness and loving-kindness are relevant for the 21st century.
She has chosen not to have children, but didn’t realise until age 27, that she DID actually have a choice. She decided to see how she felt after a year of consciously choosing 'not' to have a child.
She used to say, “I’ll have a child by the time I’m 30.”
How she became interested in researching and talking to people who choose childlessness voluntarily.
How making the decision to be childless gave her eye-opening insights to some internal judgements.
How most of her family and friends have been supportive, although she believes it’s been hard for her mother, who loves children. This is a topic that is being more discussed recently about how our mothers may need to grieve the loss of grandchildren they are not going to receive.
How Kamalamani experienced writer’s block and had to do some soul-searching about going against the grain.
There can be a “sense of lack” that is projected if you are living as a woman without children.
There is pressure for ALL women, whether or not they have a child.
Her newest book is divided into three parts: The Worldly Words, A Private Decision, and Baby-Sized Projects.
Her new book considers the environmental and ecological factors associated with having/not having children.
How Kamalamani most expresses her creativity through writing and gardening
She advises that we can all have more awareness in our lives, of what we do and why we do it.
For Kamalamani, the benefits to being childless include having quiet time to write, having time to be a loving auntie, and having time to devote to friends, family, Buddhism, and meditation.
You can reach Kamalamani at www.kamalamani.co.uk

I do hope enjoyed this episode! For more please subscribe and check out michellemariemcgrath.com Thank you!

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Welcome! My guest today is Sara Eckel, who lives in New York state with her husband. She is the author of It’s Not You: 27 Wrong Reasons You’re Single. Sara has been a freelance writer since 1997 and has written for numerous publications.

Sara is a nationally syndicated columnist in the USA and has also written short fiction. She is a student of meditation and Buddhism. Let’s catch up with Sara!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

For Sara, living without children is a combination of choice and circumstances.
She met her husband at age 39, but they didn’t marry until a few years later.
It was a bigger priority for Sara to have a relationship with the right partner, rather than have children, even though they were totally open to it happening.
She and her husband spent a year “not” not trying, but no pregnancy resulted. They stopped using birth control and so were happy to becoming pregnant at any point. They chose not to embark upon the journey of IVF, which is not without its challenges.
Sara realised that life was hard enough without putting herself through the uphill climb of making her body do something it wasn't doing naturally.
Sara discusses the very small percentage of a chance that she would ever get pregnant, either with or without intervention, at this point in her life.
Since she married later in life (comparatively speaking), there was no pressure from family or friends to have kids.
Sara enjoys her work, her friends, and spending time with her husband.
She expresses her creative feminine energy by trying to be useful—not successful--in the world.
For Sara, writing columns and books and coaching other women is extremely fulfilling.
Women in this generation have options that those in previous generations did not have.
“Women today don’t HAVE to get married and are not dependent on men.”
Sara shares her thoughts on the “child-free vs. childless” terminology.
Sara has some set responses when people ask if she has kids; she doesn’t go into detail or “take the bait” to get into conversation about it.
Women should be empowered to define what womanhood means. Relationships are important, but they don’t define who we are.
The major benefits of a life without children for Sara are being able to continue the work she does and facing its challenges, rather than having a set salary.
The financial stress of being a writer would have been extremely difficult if her life included motherhood.
Find Sara at www.saraeckel.com (Look for the link to download a free bonus chapter of her book, sign up for her newsletter, and click on the link to purchase her book!)

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Please go to michellemariemcgrath.com for more episodes of these valuable conversations. Thank you!

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Welcome! My guest today is Star Khechara, also known as “Miss Monetisation.” She’s a passive income strategist and e-course expert for leading women. Her online academy, Passive Income Rocks, has helped hundreds of women (and some men!) monetize their passions, knowledge, and expertise into automated recurring income for maximum impact.

Star created The Wealth-Gasm for women, because “Smart women sell their knowledge, and not their time.” Find Star at www.starkhechara.com.

One of the aspects I really appreciated about this episode is Star's honesty in expressing what some may feel is taboo to mention. Everyone is entitled to their perspective and it's important to create a space where every woman's voice is heard.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Star always knew that she didn’t want to have children since she was very young.
She wanted to walk a different path and not experience the whole marriage/mortgage lifestyle.
At age 40, Star realised that the urge (to have a child) never came, in fact, the urge to NOT have children became stronger with greater clarity.
When Star got married in her 20’s and her husband wanted children, and ALL her friends were having children, she realised that still did not want to have a child.
“I don’t like being responsible for living things. I get nervous if I have a houseplant!”
Growing up, her sister was the exact opposite as far as wanting to have that mothering experience.
Since Star has always been open and outspoken about her wishes, she has never experienced pressure from family members about having children.
Star loves being an aunt, especially when they reach that 2-3 years of age period.
People who don’t want kids should not feel alone.
The issue of having/not having kids can make or break friendships.
One dilemma is how to handle having visitors to your home with their small children.
Star has had to figure out how to handle being around other people’s children with tact and without being offensive.
Parents have a duty to NOT wreck everyone else’s world when they take their children out.
Star’s creativity is expressed through dance, graphic design, setting up businesses, writing and mentoring other women.
Star expresses her viewpoint about how we are socially conditioned, and the stigma surrounding child-free women, but not men.
Star loves to play with children, but can’t fathom the 24/7 emotional needs of a child and does not want that experience.
The language describing a woman without a child is not easily defined. “Childless” and “Child-free” both have negative or inaccurate connotations.
Visit Star and find out more about her work at www.starkhechara.com

I do hope you enjoyed this episode and please subscribe to receive more at michellemariemcgrath!

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Welcome! My guest today is Marianne Elliott, a mouthy introvert who collects treasures and tells tales. She is the National Director for Action Station, a digital platform to enable social action. She rallies fellow New Zealanders to fight for truth, justice, and a kinder way. Marianne trained as a human rights lawyer, and worked in several places around the world before going to the Gaza Strip and Afghanistan.

Stories are her secret weapon and yoga is her medicine. Her memoir, Zen Under Fire, is a moving account of working on the world’s most notorious battlefield and her personal story about the effect of her lifestyle on her relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How Marianne’s decision not to have a child came from a combination of choices and circumstances.
For many years, Marianne made life choices that didn’t coincide with life as a mother. When she contemplated parenthood, she didn't have a suitable partner with whom to embark on this life experience.
“Sometimes, the choice is not between A and B, but between B and C.”
How we control with technology SO many aspects of our lives, but the circumstances surrounding having/not having a child cannot be controlled.
One of the most hurtful comments is that parenthood alone transforms you from selfish and shallow to caring and compassionate.
A deep, compassionate heart can be awakened in other ways besides motherhood.
“Closing the door” on parenthood did bring grief, that this part of the human experience would NOT be a part of her life.
Marianne saw a therapist for six months to process the decision she’d made.
Zen retreats, journaling, meditation, and therapy all were helpful.
The MOST helpful support for Marianne came from a friend in a similar situation, the only person with whom she could be totally honest and transparent.
Women without children are perceived in stereotypically negative ways.
Ironically, men who chose to not be parents are not questioned or perceived in the same selfish, negative ways that women are.
Society seems to define women according to their state of motherhood or non-motherhood.
Women need to be allies to each other, whether or not they have children.
Marianne has nephews, nieces, and many children in her life.
Marianne has an increasingly small number of close friends with whom she has much in common, being in mid-40’s and child-free.
Social networks DO exist for women in this narrow niche.
The major benefits for Marianne to not having children are that she can pour herself into incredibly important work.
She enjoys incredible freedom and flexibility, which allow her to be a support system for many of her friends who do have children.
Marianne describes herself as an introvert who LOVES to be alone, so she wonders how she would’ve coped if motherhood had come to her.
Find Marianne at www.marianne-elliott.com, which features her writings and her book about her time as an aid worker in Afghanistan.

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Please go to michellemariemcgrath.com for more episodes of these valuable conversations. Thank you!

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Cherie Hausler, a freelance food writer, stylist and restaurant owner. She operates from Sydney to Bangkok to the Barossa Valley in South Australia. She lives her life in the fresh country air and is dedicated to experiencing good food in its entirety.

Cherie believes that there are few things in life that can’t be helped with a fabulous cup of tea! Visit www.scullerymade.org to learn about her unique teas.

Cherie shares the following about her life:

The decision whether to have or not have a child is the biggest and most emotional topic for a woman.
Cherie has made the choice to not have a child as a result of much “deep thinking” and consideration.
People assume if you don’t have children that you don’t like children. Cherie says, “I ADORE children!”
Cherie was adopted, and has met her birth mother.
Cherie’s parents adopted two children, and then had a biological son who passed away at 6 months. They lost another son to premature birth and then proceeded to adopt Cherie.
Cherie has experienced the supernatural love of a mother.
“A mother’s love is an unconditional love not restricted to biology or species.”
Many women without children are caring, nurturing, and mothering.
Cherie has felt some pressure from others to have a child, and even worked as a nanny for 9 years. She has loved and looked after many kids.
Cherie has learned that there are over 45,000 children in Australia in foster care due to the breaking down of the family unit.
Cherie is also sensitive to the issues about our planet and our natural resources being depleted.
She looks at the bleak lives being lived around the world and has decided to put her love and care into the lives that already exist in the world.
Consider how many disposable nappies (diapers) are sent to landfills around the world!
Having a child is a much bigger issue that “just having a child!”
The creative force that all of us feel can be manifested in other ways besides creating a child.
Sometimes the creative urge that women mistake for the desire for a child is the desire to create something else! An idea to consider.....

Find out more about Cherie at www.scullerymade.org

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Welcome and today's guest is Lisa Manterfield!

Lisa is the creator of Life Without Baby.com and the author of the award-winning memoir, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood.She offers workshops and popular e-books.

Her new book, Life Without Baby: Surviving and Thriving When Motherhood Doesn’t Happen, is recently available. She lives a contented life in southern CA with her husband and cat. Lisa has successfully created an online community that gives a voice to those without children. Let’s chat with Lisa!

In this episode, you’ll hear the following:

Lisa’s child-free life is not really by choice, but by circumstance. She always wanted and expected to have children, but experienced fertility issues and a unpleasant fertility clinic encounter.
She and her husband came to the realisation, “We ARE already a family—just a family of two.”
Lisa explains the anger, grief, and confusion that plagued her for a long time.
The loss of any hope of biological children was a HUGE loss that no one around her knew about.
You have to give yourself space and permission to grieve the loss of plans and dreams.
Lisa never set out to write her book about her experience; she was primarily a fiction writer. The book was an outgrowth of her personal healing process.
“I just needed to tell my story.”
Her 2nd book is the How-To resource that she couldn’t find when she needed it most.
Regarding prying questions that others sometimes ask, Lisa felt defensive, hurt, and embarrassed about her inability to have a baby.
Her advice is to prepare some stock answers to those questions and pick whichever one you’re in the mood for!
Some of the myths that Lisa has dealt with are: “you didn’t want it badly enough if you stopped trying,” and “you just have to keep on trying.”
Lisa’s meaning and purpose comes from her writing and the freedom she has to do things she wants and needs to do, like being available for her aging mother.
She enjoys the life she now leads with infinite possibilities for travel and living ANYWHERE!
Lisa hopes her writing will be her legacy.
“I want to live as fully as I can and care deeply about those who are important to me.”
An added benefit of her lifestyle is the deep friendships with others that might not be as possible or as accessible if she had children, as they don't have the same amount of time available.

Grab a copy of Lisa's new book at http://amzn.to/21QjrxA

Find out more about Lisa and her work at www.lifewithoutbaby.com and www.lisamanterfield.com.

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Catriona Pollard, founder and director of CP Communications, one of Australia’s most respected and innovative PR agencies. She is an international speaker and popular media commentator who made the transformation to the public eye; she shares these experiences in her writing and speaking. She is the author of From Unknown to Expert: How to Use Clever PR and Social Media to Become a Recognised Expert, which is a step by step program.

Catriona has helped thousands of people use her program to success. She is passionate about social media, public relations, business and bringing it all together, in real financial success for entrepreneurs and organisations. She shares insights on her blog: www.catrionapollard.com. She is also a successful artist and sculptor and you can find her work at www.theartofweaving.com.au

In this episode, Catriona shares the following:

Catriona wanted to be a mother, but never had the right relationship at the right time.
She went through a 6-7 year grieving process because she NEVER imagined her life without a child.
Looking back on that difficult grieving time, Catriona realises that she should have sought counselling for her loss.
She finally realised that her life was a blank canvas: “What is my life going to be? What are the positives about my circumstances?”
She focused on building her business, personal development, public speaking, art and creativity.
Catriona has figured out how to turn the negatives into positives.
“Do you keep sitting in the loss or do you use it in ways to propel yourself forward?”
We should all avoid blanket statements that pass judgment on others’ choices.
She explains how she feels and responds to the question: “Do you have children?”
She manifests her creative energy through artwork, writing, and public speaking.
She has realised the value in telling the stories of our lives.
Catriona knows that many people in the world don’t have the chance to enjoy life and make it something beautiful.
Find out more about Catriona and her business at www.unknowntoexpert.com

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Adrea Peters, who is a writer about all her obsessions, such as love, physics, food, wellness, logic, grace, cleverness, word play, and imagining the best in herself and others. Adrea retired at age 42 to write full-time. She graduated with a journalism degree as valedictorian of her class at the University of Colorado-Boulder, and then earned her master’s degree in Popular Fiction Writing from Seton Hall University.

Adrea has co-authored several books and apps. In 2015, she and her business partner created Storyteller Ink. It’s a company dedicated to serving writers and helping them find success in completing a book in nine months’ time. If you are an aspiring writer, then Adrea has the plan to help you achieve success! Join us!

In this episode, you will learn:

How BOTH choice and circumstance have played into Adrea’s life choice to NOT be a parent;
How Adrea knew IF she ever had a child, she would want to have a life partner with whom to share the experience;
“The rules that people follow just aren’t priorities for me.”
“I nurture all the time and feel maternal and like a mom in many ways.”
Adrea’s two main life goals are to find a mate she loves and to have success as a writer;
How she has never felt external pressure to have children;
Adrea believes that women need to take the time to get to know themselves;
Moms need time and space that their busy, demanding lives don’t often allow;
Being feminine and being a mom are NOT the same things;
Adrea has creative expression through the time she has to herself, to come to new understandings and awareness that she can share with others;
How Adrea has dedicated her life to bettering relationships between human beings;
“It’s the little things each day that connect us to others.”
How Adrea would never use the terms “childfree” or “childless” to describe herself;
Adrea urges all women to take charge of themselves and their identity.

Find out more about Adrea and her work at www.adreapeters.com and

www.storyteller-ink.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Ashleigh Mills, who originally trained as a social worker in Australia. She worked in clinical mental health and policy for over 10 years, but then followed her heart to begin writing creatively at age 32. Ashleigh began her blog on life, love, travel, and her crazy cat lady stories. She later started a freelancing writing business focusing on adventure and travel articles. In 2015, she traveled to Bali and the Philippines to write stories with her husband, who is a fashion and travel photographer. Ashleigh is always busy planning her next adventure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How this podcast has been encouraging and refreshing for Ashleigh, hearing other women’s perspectives, and knowing she isn’t alone in her journey
How Ashleigh’s childfree life is a choice that resulted from ambivalence toward motherhood, even though she always assumed she would have “the urge” someday.
Ashleigh has seen the “bad” side of family from her social work experience; she believes that unless you are 120% committed as a couple, you shouldn’t undertake parenting.
Like others, Ashleigh has experienced insensitive questions and comments about her life choices.
She finds creative and nurturing outlets through her writing.
How being childfree allows you to nurture relationships with other children and support other family members who are parents.
How Ashleigh was privileged to experience several positive childfree role models in her childhood that made it a valid option for her.
How Ashleigh has experienced the myths and stereotypes, “that life is meaningless and empty without a child”
“Our lives are full. We have plans together to travel and share common goals. I don’t feel like anything is missing.”
How Ashleigh encourages women to be supportive in whatever decisions they make and not pass judgment upon others who chose a different pathway than your own
How the change must start with the media and how “the ideal life” is portrayed
You can find Ashleigh’s blog at www.mymeow.com.au.

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Welcome! My guest today is an experienced commercial research consultant who was born and raised in the UK. Dr. Chloe Peacock earned a Ph.D. in Consumer Brand Participation and is an expert in Semiotics. She loves beaches, traveling, the outdoors, and all creatures. She is the founder of the UK Lifestyle Network for Childfree Women and The League of Fabulous Women. Her hope is to gently shift and soften cultural perceptions of women without children and to help these women connect with each other. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and at www.tlfw.co.uk.

In this episode, you’ll learn the following about Chloe:

Chloe has always been very comfortable with her ambivalence about motherhood.

Even as a childfree woman, you can still be a caring, nurturing person and have children in your life.

We all have different peak life experiences that we view as huge and fulfilling.

In her mid-30’s, Chloe considered her “fertility window” but never felt the compulsion to plunge into motherhood.

Like many childfree women, Chloe has dealt with pressure from family and friends: “You’d make a GREAT mom! You’re such a caring person!”

The issue of legacy is important to Chloe and she has had many conversations with her father about this topic.

Ultimately, you have to follow your own path.

The League of Fabulous Women started small, as a product of her own experience, and then it grew rapidly. It exists for the purpose of connecting childfree women in friendship.

Like many childfree women, Chloe noticed a dramatic shift in her social life because of others’ pregnancies.

She read about Melanie Notkin’s work and then began meet-up groups of her own.

Women over 40 without children are an increasing demographic for the present and the future.

Not being a mother is no less natural or feminine than being a mother and having children.

There is much cultural mythology surrounding motherhood as THE ultimate feminine experience.

Chloe likes to express her creativity through creating relationships.

For Chloe, the major benefits of NOT having children are the sense of freedom, being able to travel, and being the author of her own life.

The League of Fabulous Women now has meet-up groups in Brighton, Bristol, Manchester, and London. Connect and find out more at www.tlfw.co.uk

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My guest today, Meghan Daum, has been an Op Ed columnist for the Los Angeles Times since 2005. Meghan is also the author of four books, including The Unspeakable and Other Subjects of Discussion, which won the 2015 Penn Center USA Award for Creative Nonfiction. She edited the NY Times best–selling anthology Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed, which is a compilation of 16 writers’ essays on the choice to not have kids. This book has sparked wide ranging conversation around the topic of choosing to have or to not have kids. Meghan’s message is that opting out of parenthood is NOT a sign of laziness or immaturity, but a complicated and intensely personal decision.

Join us to hear Meghan discuss the following:

It was Meghan’s personal choice to not become a parent, and it was something she always knew deep-down, but didn’t realize that option existed.
Having/not having a child is an interesting subject to write about and lends itself to a deeper look and deliberate thought about that life choice.
Meghan became pregnant at age 41, miscarried, and actually felt relieved. “I would have, of course, loved that child, but I’m not sure I would have loved my life.”
Even when you KNOW you’ve made the choice to not have kids, there still can be certain degrees of grief involved.
Her anthology includes 13 women and 3 men who wrote about the topic, which is unusual because we don’t usually hear the male viewpoint.
The fear of future regret is NOT a good enough reason to have a child.
Many people who have chosen to live childfree lives have put much more thought into the decision than some who have chosen to be parents!
It’s human nature to give our opinion and advice and look for commonality around the choice that WE make, including parenthood. We all seem to want others to make the choices we have made.
Meghan’s goal is to change the conversation about which side of the issue is more/less selfish.
It comes down to knowing yourself and giving yourself permission to know what you really want.
Meghan’s creative energy is expressed in her writing and expressing opinions, but even people NOT in creative careers can make the choice for themselves and not based on society’s expectations.
It’s important for kids today to have role models from all different perspectives and know that they don’t have to fit into a mold that is uncomfortable.
For Meghan, the major benefit of choosing to not have kids is that she feels lucky to live in a time and place where she has the ability to make that choice for herself.
To find out more about Meghan and her work, visit www.meghandaum.com.

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Nicole Graham, an Aussie who currently lives in Hong Kong. She is a multi-passionate entrepreneur who has reinvented her career over the last 25 years. She has studied a range of healing modalities and co-authored two guided writing journals and numerous blogs.

Nicole is a certified online business manager who leads her team of dedicated and experienced specialists in supporting small business with administration and marketing. She and her husband travel extensively and Nicole is happy to share her life experiences in choosing to be child-free.

In this episode, you’ll learn the following:

Nicole and her husband have made the mutual choice to not have children. They have the understanding that the topic is open for discussion if either of them feels differently.
Nicole was moved by the vast numbers of abandoned, neglected, and unwanted children in China and India, and decided NOT to bring a child into the world.
IF she and her husband ever felt differently about parenthood, then adoption would be their choice.
Their families have been supportive and understanding, but several friends have questioned their decision.
One classic response was, “You’re SO good with animals that you would be a great mother!” (Whoever said that raising animals and children are the same?)
Nicole acknowledges that their lives would be very different if they were raising children, especially regarding money and travel opportunities.
Nicole has also been asked the classic question, “But who’s going to look after you when you’re old?”
In Hong Kong, there is the cultural assumption that younger family members help look after the elderly, and the elderly grandparents assist younger parents by living in and helping care for their children.
Nicole has also experienced looks of pity from others when she explains her child-free life.
Nicole’s advice? ”Process your decision before you make it known. Have supportive people around you to help deal with the common myths and expectations.”
There are other ways to fill your life besides having children!
Nicole expresses her creativity through art, supporting animal organizations, and working with special needs children and young adults.
She says that her life and its creative expressions give her much more joy than motherhood ever could.
You can reach Nicole at www.bauhiniasolutions.com.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed this please share with another woman who would be inspired and subscribe. For more episodes, please go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! Today’s Unclassified Woman is Stacey Copas, who is the author of How to be Resilient. She is Australian’s #1 keynote speaker and facilitator on turning adversity into an asset, and she has been featured in national media. Now taking on a new endeavour, Stacey is training for the 2016 Rio Para-Olympics after many years of inactivity.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

How Stacey has not had a child due to personal choice and never desired to be a parent;
Stacey has a spinal cord injury and is in a wheelchair. People ask about her parenting/non-parenting intentions - often assuming incorrectly this is the reason for not having a child;
How Stacey has experienced separation from some friends over the years as they began having children and led very different lives;
Stacey discusses the “mythbusting” that goes along with daring to make a conscious decision to NOT have children;
Stacey has become comfortable when she has to answer questions about her choices;
Her advice for others is to have clarity about your values and what you find important in life;
She knew that she was here to make a difference in the world, but had to overcome the “little old me” syndrome.
The messages Stacey includes in her speaking about resilience as a growth opportunity include the following:
Take responsibility
Use empowering language
Have a support system around you

Resources:

www.howtoberesilient.com

www.staceycopas.com

How to be Resilient by Stacey Copas

I do hope you enjoyed this episode. Please subscribe and share with another woman who would benefit from this wisdom. For more episodes go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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My guest today is Lisa Murray, who is the founder of Creativity Lab. She is an unconventional business coach and prolific writer. She invites you to collectively create a future to be inspired by via her live events and online programs. Join her for one of her free mini e-courses on Embracing Courage, Writing Wild, or Creating Money.

Lisa also offers the Nurture Project and holds an MBA in entrepreneurship and leadership. Lisa is launching three books this year, including Stop Waiting, Start Creating.

In this episode, Lisa covers the following topics:

Lisa didn’t desire to become a mother, so she was actually relieved when she reached that realisation and was able to put the associated stress aside.
Society “assumes” that every woman wants to become a mother.
Many people feel obligated to give unsolicited advice to others about the choice they have made being the right thing for everyone!
Having a child is only ONE kind of creative expression, but not the only one.
Lisa asks, “What would I like the world to be like 1000 years from now?”
“Exhaustion and burnout are the results of working hard for OTHER peoples’ dreams, and not your own.”
When Lisa was facing burnout, she made a list of the things that made her happy, and was only able to list four things at first!
“If you ever wonder if you are a leader, then go and play with a horse, because the horse will let you know if he is willing to follow you or not.”
Lisa’s favourite way to express her creative energy is by writing.
Lisa is inspired most by those who are kind and nurturing, especially when men show these qualities.
We should all be more compassionate in embracing our differences instead of labeling them “right” or “wrong.”
Lisa speaks about how we can encourage more tolerance in the world and eliminating stereotypes.
“Whatever you choose, you can have a fantastic life if you are YOU!”
Find out how focusing on the present moment can be the secret to happiness.

Find out more about Lisa's work at www.creativitylab.tv

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is a fear-blasting, storytelling maven for entrepreneurs and people with a mission. Johanna Walker helps people put their stories out front to help change the world. Since 1997, she has helped hundreds break through their fears, step into leadership, and claim their place. She has worked with teenage girls, incarcerated women, fledgling entrepreneurs, and corporate executives, over and over witnessing the transformative power of telling our stories and speaking our truth.

Johanna is the co-producer and co-host of Boulder’s bi-monthly storytelling series, Truth Be Told and Fearless Solos. She has performed almost everywhere---and yes, we DO mean, EVERYWHERE—and she is a certified public speaking coach. Join us for Johanna’s story!

In this episode, you’ll hear:

How a combination of circumstances and choice lead Johanna not to have a child.
How she always assumed a child “would happen,” because that was the normal script to follow in life.
How she began to question her beliefs, assumptions, and expectations—“If children aren’t going to give my life meaning, then where is the meaning?”
How this decision has led her to be able to be connected to people and projects that wouldn’t have otherwise been possible.
How she encountered pressure, judgment, and disappointment from her family.
How she went through the grieving process for several years because she couldn’t see that anything else in life could make life worth living.
How she felt alone and isolated for a period.
How she even went through a time of not wanting to hear or celebrate other people’s joys around parenthood.
“Bring forth what is IN you; if you don’t, then what is in you will destroy you.”
How she learned to channel her creative life force and energy through storytelling and helping others express their creativity through speaking
Ironically, she became a writer first and went through periods of silence, and then transitioned into speaking.
Growing up, the best way she could be a “good girl” was just to be quiet.
How she began to get a bigger picture of women’s voices, to tell her story, reclaimed her voice, and began speaking
Johanna’s most fulfilling work is seeing people tell a story and hear their voice in a way they haven’t done before.
Her advice to someone considering a “different” path is: “Use your voice. Tell your story in whatever your circle of influence may be.”
The major benefits of her childfree life are the relationships with young people that are unique and different from the parent/child relationship. “I get to stand in my power as a woman separate from motherhood.”
Johanna’s legacy is to be present for herself and others. “Show up, be curious, and then tell your story about it.”
The lessons Johanna has learned are: “Let go of judgment and expectations and enjoy this extraordinary life. Be open to the possibility of the moment.”

Resources:

www.johannawalker.com

www.storyslamboulder.com

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman go to michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! Today’s guest is Lesley Pyne, who is a leading coach for childless women in the UK, helping them to heal and create fulfilling lives. After unsuccessful IVF treatments, she spent ten years hiding from the truth of her life. She trained in techniques that helped her learn to let go of the grief and sadness. Lesley now uses her story, firsthand experience and professional skills to help other women heal. She facilitates them in being able to have a deep understanding of their experience, so they can embrace an adventurous, fulfilling life. Lesley's warmth and empathy shines through.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

Lesley pursued pregnancy through six rounds of IVF and then determined that “that was enough.” She is childless through circumstance.
It took ten years of healing before she found herself in the place to be comfortable talking about her experience.
“Childlessness is the biggest gift in my life because without it I wouldn’t have the fulfilling life I have now.”
Lesley shares the lengths that she and her husband went through to “give it our all and be able to look back with no regrets.”
As women, we don’t always realise the limits on our fertility as we get older.
During Lesley’s grieving process, she felt dark and alone for about a year, but she and her husband drew together and grew closer.
She joined a support group and found powerful encouragement from sharing stories with the other members.
The more that you share your story, the stronger you become.
Lesley recommends to others that they believe that their life can absolutely be fulfilling, even without a child. She advises that women take advantages of the resources available and search out the help that is right for them.
Making a difference and helping other women gives her meaning and purpose. Being in a choir helps, as does exploring different things and expanding her comfort zone.
The major benefits of a childless life for Lesley are flexibility and freedom to do the things she wants and enjoys.

Find more more about Lesley's work at www.lesleypyne.co.uk

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman go to www.michellemariemcgrath.com If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe on Itunes and share with another woman who you feel would benefit. Thank you so much!

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My guest today is Riikka Rajamaki, whose life passion is to help women unlock their creative and intuitive abilities after an experience of abortion or miscarriage. She teaches women how to move from fear to love by living out one of her life mottos: “It’s better to nourish the seed than to cry over the lost fruit.”

Riikka is the creator of Womb Quest, a certified spirit coach, wellness coach, gifted body worker, trained intuitive, and holds a masters degree in sociology. Now based in San Francisco, she is originally from Finland, and says it took her years to realise that “the greatest journey we take is inside ourselves.” Her happiness is dependent on personal growth and her ability to remain centered and connected to her spirit. Join us for Riikka’s inspiring story.

In this episode, you can expect to hear:

Riikka’s powerful and personal story of finding herself unexpectedly pregnant at age 36, married to a man who said that his life path did NOT include children;
How Riikka was able, through meditation, to meet the spirit energy of her unborn child and experience a clear, guided moment of clarity;
How Riikka, after that “miracle moment,” felt compelled to pursue a meeting with Richard Bartlett, whose metaphysical work she had followed;
How her meeting with Mr. Bartlett resulted in an angelic visit in which her baby's soul chose to not come into physical creation;
How Riikka subsequently suffered a miscarriage and entered a year-long grieving process, which was complete with shame, guilt, and blame for her husband;
How Riikka and her husband found healing and a closer connection which led them to begin a business together, even though they are not together now;
How Riikka’s experience taught her about dimensions of commitment to another person and how she had used and misused love;
Riikka’s advice to others who suffer from guilt or shame: DON’T rush out of the pain or try to avoid it. Let pure tears have their time.
Riikka supports the view that we, as a society, shouldn’t define each other based on whether they have children or not;
Even though having a child expresses creative energy, there are other ways to express creativity also, like touch, writing, and movement;
Riikka's advice for someone seeking meaning and purpose when they realise that a child won’t be a part of their lives: Connect with childhood passions, reconnect with happy moments from childhood, and find inspiration, passion and joy.
Riikka shares her REAL definition of success and why she meditates to communicate with her spirit EVERY day;
She created her home study course, Womb Quest, to teach others how to move from fear to love. The 16-week course is geared toward those who have lost an unborn child or are grieving some other loss.

Find out more about Riikka's work at

www.riikkarajamaki.com/wqinvitation and www.rikasf.com

For more episodes of Unclassified Woman go to www.michellemariemcgrath.com
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Welcome! My guest today is Anaiya Sophia, who is a mystic, author, and an initiator of Sacred Marriage and the Mystical Teachings of The Feminine Christ. A native of the UK, she is based at her guest house Amma Rosa in the South of France but teaches her transformational work worldwide.

She is a wellspring of both wisdom and experience and is known for her role in birthing New Paradigm Relationships and Divinized Sexuality. Her desire is to help people transition from codependent relationships to a thriving union based on Love and Freedom, held within a holy sanctified container.

Anaiya Sophia, is no spiritual lightweight. She is intensely committed to go through whatever humbling and fierce truth-telling is required to open to the full divinity that can, and will birth us.

Her work is streaming forth through the Feminine aspect of Christ Consciousness, which includes the Tantric, Virgin and Mystical expressions represented by Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary and the Black Madonna.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How Anaiya became interested in deep, spiritual things at age seven.
How an angel experience transformed into a Christ-figure for Anaiya.
How Anaiya couldn’t turn from the momentum of the spiritual longing to have a child and family.
She never had a moment when she really wanted to have a child.
How she confronted the decision to not have a child with some grief, but an overwhelming spiritual longing.
How a health issue led Anaiya to confront her own vulnerability in writing her book, Womb Wisdom.
How Anaiya had to learn to trust the masculine in the form of her writing partner.
How Anaiya created a “womb” atmosphere on the outside, that was full of mothering energy.
How focusing on her own nourishment overflowed into peace and presence in other relationships.
How she found a “womb” quality in everything in the universe.
Every woman should realize the creative force within her womb and ask, “What Am I Birthing?”.
The choice not to have physical offspring doesn’t eliminate all forms of offspring.
How people need to find the balance between feminine and masculine energy.
There is a transformation called, “The Return to the Divine Feminine.”
How Anaiya’s home in the south of France is the vortex and epicenter of the divine feminine.
For Anaiya, the benefits to not having a child are emotional openness and the time to deepen who she is and what she is becoming.

Find out more about Anaiya's work and retreats at www.anaiyasophia.com

See her books: Open Your Heart with Kundalini Yoga, Womb Wisdom, Pilgrimage of Love, Sacred Sexual Union andThe Rose Knight.

I do hope you enjoyed this episode of Unclassified Woman. For more, go to www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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My guest today is Christine Rose Elle, who is a business and life coach. She is a certified Beautiful You life coach and the founder of The Heart-Centered Coach Community. Her passions include styling, beauty, portrait photography, branding, marketing, and all things high-tech. Her loves furnish her with the perfect set of skills to help other coaches discover their own skills and do meaningful work with their clients. Christine offers free monthly online training for life coaches and soulful entrepreneurs who want to create and grow their dream business. She lives and works in a tiny Victorian bungalow in Los Angeles with her husband and two amazingly spoiled dogs.

Christine shares the following about her life without motherhood:

Christine is childless through a combination of choice and circumstances.
She realised early in life that she didn’t want to have children in the same way as many of her friends.
She married early and then divorced at age 30. It was at age 35 that she had her “epiphany” moment and realised that her whole life to that point had been lived for someone else and not herself.
Other factors played into her decision to not have children. She carried baggage from a difficult childhood, a chronic health condition, and negative interactions with doctors. Regarding the possibility of giving birth, she said, “I CANNOT be that vulnerable.”
She moved to Italy and met her husband. They are content with building their lives together, and the time never seemed right to have a baby.
Christine has never felt intense pressure from family and friends to become a mother, nor has she experienced intense regret or grief over her life choices.
The decision to have children is a huge responsibility, challenge, and commitment. “It’s not like buying an expensive dress, where you can just take it back if it doesn’t work out.”
Some of the advantages of the relationship between Christine and her husband are the self-actualization and support they can give each other. Christine also loves the personal time she has to read, write and create. This wouldn’t be possible if she were busy raising a child.

Christine has many positive aspects to her life without children, and she says she is perfectly happy being “Auntie” to her nieces and nephews. For her, having dogs also fulfils in a way, the nurturing, mothering instinct. Join us for Christine’s story!

Find Christine online:

www.christineroseelle.com (Her website, with links to her Heart-Centered Community and more.)

For more episodes of "Unclassified Woman" see www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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Welcome! My guest today is Karen Wilmot, The Virtual Midwife. She has assisted over 500 women in giving birth, but has never been pregnant or given birth herself. Twice, she stepped away from her work when the desire to have her own baby overshadowed the joy she could feel at others’ birth experiences. At age 47 now, Karen has found peace and a deep sense of purpose in her work. She now says that NOT having children has been her greatest teacher and the driving force behind her work.

In this episode, you’ll learn the following about Karen’s journey:

How Karen always thought she would have children;
How the death of Karen’s mother while she was young made her lose her sense of family and live a rebellious life;
After years of traveling and several relationships, Karen reached the point in her early 40’s when she said, “That was it.” Her window of opportunity had closed;
How she went through a relevant and acute grieving process;
How one patient helped her recognize her “mothering of mothers” as an outpouring of nurturing and maternal instinct;
How Karen uses yoga, breathing, and chanting to help ground her emotions;
Karen shares details about her “Finding the Mother Within” workshops and how they have helped her heal;
How women are often deceived into thinking that the only path to fulfilment involves motherhood;
How Karen took the first steps of moving forward through her disappointment;
How she can express herself creatively in several specific ways, all because she does NOT have children;
The benefits of not having kids are the freedom to travel, a deeper level of compassion for others, and the ability to inspire others through your circumstances;
How Karen has drawn inspiration from every woman she has ever assisted in childbirth;
Karen’s advice to women going forward: respect each other and the path each one travels. Celebrate creativity and the ability to nurture and love.

Find Karen at www.expatsexpecting.com

Respect each other’s choices. We’re all great in our own way, but we don’t all have to travel the same path.

For more episodes of "Unclassified Woman" see www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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Beata Alfoldi is a teacher, workshop facilitator, Shamanic practitioner, healer, speaker, and see-er. She has an intuitive gift for assisting individuals to move through deep transformation. She holds private classes, sessions, workshops, and international retreats in Australia, Bali, Thailand and Mexico. She created the Integral Woman program for the Awareness Institute in Sydney and co-facilitated a transformational group journey to Peru where she lived and studied with various healers and shamans of the Amazon and the Andes.

Beata is passionate about inspiring others to find ways to live authentically with freedom and empowerment in life. She is a dear friend of mine, and I’m thrilled to have her on the show today. Join us! I'm sure you will find this conversation very moving and valuable.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How Beata, at age 45, is childless, not by choice, but through the unexpected tragedy and shock of her son’s stillbirth four years ago.
How stillbirth, and death/loss in general, are topics that people find difficult to address.
How a life-changing event, like Beata’s loss, brings up personal feelings of guilt and challenges your basic belief system.
How Beata feels a soul-connection to her son, that assures her that death is not the end.
How small rituals each day helped Beata grieve and heal from the loss of her son.
How the support of friends, who allowed her space for her healing, helped her get through the painful loss and how she, in turn, can help others in grief.
How Beata has insight and wisdom to help each of us be helpful in supporting those who are experiencing grief.
Her experience as a Shamanic practitioner has given her a deeper understanding, compassion, and increased gratitude for life.
How Beata finds ways to mentor and influence the lives of the children in her life even though she doesn’t have the opportunity to mother daily her own son.
How Beata aspires to set up a children’s charity in the near future, and already donates a percentage of her profits to help the lives of children.

“If we can set up more networks of grace, then we can build a better world where there is not ONE PERSON without access to clean water, food, and shelter.” Andrew Harvey

Beata advises others who have experienced the loss of a child to take the time to grieve and then look for opportunities to serve others who are also healing.
How Beata’s experience has liberated her from basic fears and intensified her appreciation for the sacredness of life.

Thanks for joining me for Beata’s touching story. I highly recommend her programs, workshops, and retreats. Learn more at www.wildheartawakening.com.

Please share this episode with any friends who are dealing with or have experienced similar situations of stillborn birth, miscarriage and loss.

My hope is that Beata's story will bring comfort and support as she's a wonderful role model of how we can gracefully and gently navigate these extremely challenging experiences. Thank you so much!

For more episodes of "Unclassified Woman" see www.michellemariemcgrath.com

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Randi Buckley writes and coaches emotionally aware, deeply contemplative women toward finding their truth, with depth and beauty, with life’s big questions and sticky situations. She is the creator of “Maybe Baby" - When you hear this whisper of “maybe” in your heart”, “Healthy Boundaries for Kind People”, and “The Viking Woman Workshop”. Today we discuss the nature of ambivalence and our experiences with it. You can reach Randi at www.randibuckley.com.

As Randi covers the following areas of ambivalence about having children, you can expect to hear:

Randi knew as a 6-7-year-old girl that she didn’t want to have children because she equated having a child with NOT being a feminist.
She never saw herself as a mother and was horrified when she heard the whisper of “maybe” in her late 30's.
Randi found that many of her beliefs about motherhood and childbearing were not her own, but were society-driven.
Randi had initially believed that motherhood would make her into all the things she didn’t want to be.
It’s ok to be ambivalent, but some people (especially well-meaning mothers) will try to talk you out of your ambivalence.
Each woman is the only one who can decide what’s right for her.
We have the responsibility to have compassion for the different roles women play and appreciate those roles.
You can reserve the right to change your mind about what you want for your life - at any time.
“Maybe Baby” is a 6-week self-study course in which several hundred women have participated. The course teaches you how to find what’s true for you and how to be at peace with it.

Wise Words: “What’s right for me probably isn’t right for you!”

I hope you enjoy this episode where we discuss in depth our experiences with ambivalence. Would love for you to comment on the post at michellemariemcgrath.com
If you enjoyed this episode please share. Thank you.

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A very interesting interview today from a mother's perspective on the topic of being childfree.

Melanie Holmes is a mother of two sons and a teenage daughter. She's also a writer and researcher, who has interviewed over 200 women and examined the cultural assumptions of motherhood within today’s society. She received her BA degree in 2011, a degree that took 20 years to complete because she took time out from her education to raise three children.

At age 51, she achieved her lifelong dream of becoming a writer with the publication of The Female Assumption: A Mother’s Story: Freeing Women from the View that Motherhood is a Mandate. For this book, she won a Global Media Award. You can find the book at http://www.melanieholmesauthor.com

Melanie has witnessed firsthand the pain of women who are viewed as dysfunctional or selfish for deciding to pursue something other than motherhood. Her own daughter was the inspiration for her research and writing. She wanted her daughter to know that there are many options besides motherhood for her within her female experience, as she grows into adulthood.

In this episode, the listener can expect to hear the following:

How many women never question or have a choice in having motherhood as part of their story;
How the need exists to amplify this conversation among women—that womanhood does NOT equal motherhood for everyone;
How people rudely assume they have the right to ask VERY personal questions about your intentions and your timeline concerning having children;
How the need exists to raise consciousness publicly about people who choose to be “childfree” or “childless.”
How we, as a society, still assume that motherhood is the ultimate goal for every woman, even though the number of women over 40 without children has doubled in the last ten years;
How women are viewed as being naturally disposed to be nurturing and caring toward children, totally discounting the fact that men are just as capable of caring for children;
How media influences our visions of ourselves—“We can’t aspire to be what we don’t see.”
How double standards for the roles of men and women exist in today’s society and how very little progress has been made;
How motherhood should be revered, but not presented as the panacea for all that might be wrong with someone’s life;
How the “Parenting Partnership” doesn’t have to include merely a man and a woman.

Points to consider:

“Motherhood should not be something to check off the to-do list. Women are complete beings.”
Respect each others’ boundaries. We live in a diverse world, and we don’t all want the same things.
We need more women in politics and high-level leadership positions. There are 19 states in the US that have never sent a woman to the Senate!

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Andrea Louisa Glazier is a native of the UK, has lived in New Zealand and currently lives on the northern beaches in Sydney, Australia. Andrea thinks she has the best life ever! She wakes up excited, packs her bag for an adventure, heads down to the beach, walks with her feet in the water, camera in hand, takes photos, meditates, exercises, does whatever she likes, eats breakfast in local cafes and the returns home and begins client work around midday. Around 5.30pm she picks up her camera and returns to the beach to take photos of the sunset. It wasn’t always this way. She used to live in London and kill herself on the daily commute rushing to appointments and working late. For twenty years she worked in the media as a TV presenter, producer, director and journalist and switched to starting her own business after suffering from adrenal-fatigue and burnout after working 90-hour weeks. Andrea lives a childfree life by conscious choice and is always ready to boldly affirm her decision. Join us for Andrea’s story! You will learn the following in this episode: The niche of childfree women is a growing sector of the population and a target market for many advertisers. Almost 25% of western women over 40 don’t have children. Andrea made the choice NOT to have children at age 11, and has been re-making that choice for 31 years. Andrea loves the freedom and control she has in her life. She has never regretted the decision NOT to devote her life to having and raising children. She has created a life that feels “really good” and is deeply satisfying. People with children often don’t understand how a childfree life can be equally fulfilling. To Andrea, the whole idea of having a man, children, and the conventional lifestyle seemed like a life lacking imagination. No matter our choices, we all need to realise that people are entitled to different priorities and paths to fulfilment. Andrea shares that she did become pregnant once but decided not to continue when she realised bearing children was not right for her. Andrea doesn’t buy into the stereotypic myth of needing to procreate and that the purpose of a woman is motherhood. Andrea shares details of the population growth and strain on earth’s natural resources. She believes all women should carefully consider the kind of world into which they are bringing children. Andrea shares the purpose and fulfilment in her life. Connect with Andrea and her stunning photography on Instagram at andrea.louisa.glazier I would love to hear your comments below. If you found this helpful and interesting then I would love you to share with a friend who may also benefit. Thank you!

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Justine Brooks Froelker is a Licensed Professional Counselor, who has a private practice in St. Louis, Missouri. She is the author of the book and blog, Ever Upward. She is an advocate for breaking the shamed silence surrounding infertility, loss, and recovery. Justine writes for St. Louis Health and Wellness and Huffington Post and makes regular TV appearances on the midday show, Great Day St. Louis. She went through costly infertility treatments and now lives “child-free,” but not by choice.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

How Justine reacts to the ever-present question, “Well, why don’t you just adopt?”
How to apply the grieving process to loss that isn’t commonly acknowledged or understood.
How Justine recommends navigating through a journey like hers.
How relationships can become “casualties” of the journey and what true empathy is.
Why people don’t know how to respond to infertility that doesn’t end with a happy, bouncing baby.
Two “Motherhood Myths” that are prevalent in today’s society, and how to respond to them.
How unexpected “mothering roles” can bring fulfillment to the nurturing desire, even to the point of raising butterflies-----yes, butterflies!
How a “child-free” life can bring a deep sense of meaning and purpose so that you can choose your legacy and impact the lives of others.
What Justine refers to as the “complicated gray” of life, where nothing is all-black or all-white.
How Justine advises other women who live their lives without children of their own. “YOU are the only one who knows what is right for your family.”
Find Justine on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and at her blog, www.everupward.org.

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Karen Malone Wright is the creator of TheNotMom.com She's an experienced writer and communications strategist who launched her website in 2012 as a resource for and about women without children in a mom-centered world. This October, Karen will host The Not Mom Summit, which is a groundbreaking international conference for childless and child-free women. Previously, she worked independently at her own business, The Odyssey Creative Communications Consultancy. Karen has worked for clients as diverse as Women’s Initiatives for Gender Justice in the Netherlands and Goodwill Industries of Ohio. Karen is an example of someone who created the resource she was trying to find. She is dedicated to helping and guiding women around the world who would otherwise feel unsupported.

What You Will Learn in This Episode:

Like many women without children, Karen assumed she would have children during her first marriage. Ambivalence to the idea of children began during her second marriage when she was in her late 30’s.
She was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes and realised she could be subject to a high-risk pregnancy.
Karen talks candidly about the “active grief” that consumed her for 1-2 years as a result of the loss of her dream of pregnancy and children.
It was a day-long retreat for women with pregnancy loss that finally taught her, through labyrinth work, to let go of the grief.
Karen has found that women’s experiences of life without motherhood can be very different across regions and cultures.
Karen discusses various reasons for the ambivalence many women feel about having a child.
Building a life without kids CAN be rewarding and satisfying.
Historically, women’s attitudes about motherhood began to change as women pursued college degrees.
This is a trend that could have long-term effects on the population for the future.
Women without children have to consider alternative care arrangements for their long-term care as they grow older.
From Day One of launching her website, Karen knew she wanted to connect with women going through the same thing---and wanted to connect them with each other.
One of the challenges is to figure out what legacy means when it doesn’t involve leaving a child behind.
One of the major benefits to NOT having a child, Karen says, is having your own money and spending it as you wish—and NOT having to pay for college!

Resources Mentioned:

www.thenotmom.com

www.notmomcon2015.sched.org

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I'm happy to share this lovely interview today with Nicola Newman, based on the Sunshine Coast in Australia. Nicola is an award-winning artist. She’s an organic gardening teacher, author and entrepreneur. Her mission is to help women explore their creativity and inspire them to live an authentic life that supports their heart's deepest desires to be self-expressive and enjoy even greater well-being. She has a Bachelor of Fine Arts, and she’s produced and directed three documentaries on contemporary Australian artists. Her paintings are featured in a multitude of public and private collections all around the world. She is the author of Grow Abundant Herbs and Greens in Pots and the creator of two acclaimed online training courses, The Abundant Veggie Patch System and Grow Organic Food in Pots. Nicola has taught hundreds of beginner gardeners worldwide to grow their own organic food and nurture their health. She’s currently working on a new project, Flourish with Painting and Creativity, which is an online mentorship program dedicated to teaching practical, soulful and nurturing ways to explore painting with acrylic and oil paints and express your innate creativity. In Nicola's words "I want to inspire you to create things. Whether it’s a garden, a painting, a business or a life that supports you, it would be my honour to share the tools & inspiration I’ve found to push past creative blocks and see the results of your heart and hands unfold before your eyes." Nicola never felt that yearning to have children that some women feel. She thought that maybe it would kick in when she was ready to have children. For some reason, that never happened. Today, Nicola has allowed herself to be liberated in being childfree. It has given her the opportunity to pursue her passions, and in turn, impact the world in a much bigger way. In this episode you will learn: * How being childfree has liberated Nicola; * The morning creative exercise that Nicola practices and recommends; * When Nicola first discovered her creativity; * What it really takes to make a living as an artist; * The role her Mother played in accepting her childfree situation; * Why Nicola is open to not being childfree forever; * How to put the opinion of others regarding children,in perspective; * Why having children is no guarantee of “being taken care of” when you are aging; * Why having step-children can change your perspective; * Tips for navigating a new Step-Mother relationship. * The positive and negative lessons she learned in Step Parenting.

Nicola’s Advice for Reigniting Your Creativity Within: * Don’t believe the stories in your head * Keep focusing on what’s coming up in front of you * Be open to all sorts of possibilities * Take short courses * Find what makes you happy * Allow yourself to explore and go to the things that you are interested in * Give yourself permission.

I really enjoyed this down to earth and practical conversation with Nicola and I hope you did too! Find out more about Nicola's work here. Resources:

Morning Pages by Julia Cameron
Grow Abundance Herbs and Greens in Pots
The Abundant Veggie Patch System
Grow Organic Food in Pots
Flourish with Painting and Creativity

I would love to hear your comments below. If you found this helpful and interesting then I would love you to share with a friend who may also benefit. Thank you!

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Today, I'm delighted to share this episode with a friend and an amazing woman in my life. I'm so inspired by Amanda and the valuable work she is doing.

Amanda Rootsey is an Eco-Model, Gentle Living Coach and a passionate educator. She spent many years as a fashion model working in Australia and Europe for labels such as Salvatore Ferragamo, Myer, Alex Perry and Cartier, to name but a few. After a 2-year battle with cancer, she decided to settle on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Australia.

Being diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma certainly changed her perspective on life and inspired her to go vegan, start meditating, enjoy each moment and encourage others to find their balance and joy in life. She blogs about simple living, natural beauty, wellness, eco-fashion and more. Amanda presents a fresh and inspiring take on personal development training in her business, Shine from Within. With a strong focus on self-love, compassion for others and healthy living, her zest for life and positive but yet calming attitude is infectious. Nothing gives her greater pleasures than to see her students shine bright and realise their full potential. Still modelling, she now works exclusively with eco-friendly and ethical brands who share her values often with more than an ambassadorship focus. You can find her at http://www.amandarootsey.com.au/ or http://shinefromwithin.com.au/.

Please share a little bit about your personal background and whether you’ve not had a child due to personal choice or circumstance.

Amanda was diagnosed with cancer when she was 24 and underwent chemotherapy and radiation treatments, as well as natural therapies. Due to the harshness of the chemotherapy treatment she was informed that there’s an 85% chance that she’ll never be able to have children naturally.

Did you have a driving desire to have a child?

Amanda has gone within to explore the answer to this question in the last year or so. The doctors haven’t given her any definitive answers. They’re not sure if she is also going through early menopause. Each person's body is so different and individual, so it’s hard to generalise.

Is early menopause the result of the treatment?

Amanda believes that is the case. However, every so often she does still receive her period. The body is amazing in trying to heal itself. Her periods had stopped but due to her healthy regimen of eating healthily and meditation they have returned.

How did you feel when you were told that you couldn’t have a child, especially when you were quite young?

Amanda is only 30 years old. The thought of not being able to have a child was upsetting. The reality of having the choice taken away is difficult to deal with.

Did this situation stir up many feelings? Did you then feel like you might have wanted a child?

Amanda confirmed it certainly did bring up those feelings. That’s pretty much a normal response. However, she is philosophical and always come back to “whatever is meant to be, will be” and having the faith that went with that. She believes in having the faith and trust that your life is unfolding the way it was meant to. Amanda has noticed that some women seem pre-destined to have a child and long for it. "We, as women shouldn’t fall for the stereotypes placed by our culture. Many women feel guilty for not wanting to have children. It’s still quite taboo and such a personal topic."

Did you feel any pressure from your family about having a child?

Amanda's cancer treatment has inadvertently provided a reason to cut these conversations short. It's more clear cut to have as a reason rather than saying you possibly do not want to have children. It is easier and less confronting.

How did the work with "Shine From Within" come about?

The transition from being a girl to a woman is such an important time in our lives. Amanda loves modelling and never thought that she would be teaching others. However, after going through her ordeal health-wise, she learned how important it is for us to take good care of our health and look after ourselves. "We’ve always been pushed to achieve and succeed in life." After going through that experience Amanda felt the need to share the message of taking care of our bodies and living healthy with young women.

Did you work as a model before you started teaching? Was modeling something that you focused on intentionally?

Amanda undertook a modelling training course and was also studying drama at school. She started to teach other young girls, whilst working as a model.

When you were diagnosed with cancer you were working as a model. When did you decide that you were only going to represent eco-conscious brands?

After her illness, Amanda didn’t think she continue modeling at all. She started meditating and a healthy lifestyle. Then she started to work with businesses who approached her who were eco-friendly and ethical. That’s where eco-modelling came about. “Life can change in an instant. We need to take care of ourselves and others around us.”

One of the myths in our society is that we are made to pro-create. The fact is that we are using up the earth’s resources extremely rapidly and having a huge impact. It’s easy to take it all for granted but we need to be aware of our carbon footprint. “The richest 20% in the world are producing 80% of the wastage and are responsible for most of the consumption.”

What are your thoughts around this topic? Should people consider how many children they are having?

There are plenty of children in the world who need love and care. Amanda feels that it’s beautiful when people provide that help for children who are already here. The environmental impact of people’s decisions to have children should enter their thoughts. However, that’s not the reality.

What would you love to leave the world as your legacy?

Amanda feels that it all comes back to being gentle with yourself, others and the earth.

What do you feel are the major benefits in not having children?

Being able to sleep in (sometimes).
Being able to consciously carve out my day and concentrate on my projects.
Being able to focus on supporting the environment.
Having the freedom to plan recreation easily.

Amanda is a Gentle Living Coach for women who want to bring more peace and happiness into their lives. Amanda is also wonderful mentor to teenage girls and if you have a daughter, I wholeheartedly recommend you check out her workshops. You can find out more about Amanda and her work at http://www.amandarootsey.com.au/ or http://shinefromwithin.com.au/.

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Lori Portka is a licensed artist whose mission is to spread love and happiness through the art she creates. Utilising bright and colourful imagery, her messages are about gratitude, being true to yourself, and extending kindness to others. She creates artwork by sitting quietly in front of a blank canvas giving thanks for sacred time to create. Lori believes that artwork carries energy and feels she’s called to spread love and healing through her paintings. She illustrated Crazy Sexy Love Notes, an inspirational card deck, published by Hay House and was featured in a short documentary film called, “Gratitude Grows” about her hundredth painting Gratitude Project. She’s about to release a book titled Infinite Purpose. Lori’s greeting cards, prayer flags, and stationery gifts are carried in more than a hundred locations in the US, Canada, France, and Australia. See here. For Lori, being childless was a combination of personal choice and circumstances. What were the subjects that you explored during that process? What were some of the questions that arose? “A big question for me was that I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I went through a lot of years of ‘why am I not like how I thought all other women were?.’ Now I know it’s not true. There are lots of other women who feel the same as I do. I went through a phase of ‘what’s wrong with me?’ and ‘will I regret it?’ I remember having a period of fear around the possibility of future regret. Did you feel any pressure from family or friends? "My mother felt like she lost a lot of her life in having kids and she would voice that from time to time. I know that I was a mistake and she was devastated because she felt like she was going to be free until she got pregnant with me. This was stuff I was aware of early on. I think my mom felt, ‘Go Lori! You’re free!’ Although she’s never said that directly to me, that’s the underlining feeling I have." It’s true that the majority of pregnancies are unplanned. What compelled you to stay quiet about the topic? It brought up a lot of shame. Lori had the fear of what people would think. It forced her to face all her feelings. There was much grief involved, even though she felt clear that she didn’t want kids from the time she was young. She also had to grieve 'not wanting' and 'not having'. Were you letting go of the possibility of that reality? "It was letting go of the need for life to be any different. Letting go of what society thinks a woman’s life should look like and also accepting myself for how I am and my life for the way it is." Looking back on her life, Lori sees that it made perfect sense that she didn’t have children. She’s now remarried and her husband already had children. She’s now a step-parent and her relationship with her stepdaughter, Katie, is very strong. Although she identifies herself as a woman without children, she’s able to connect with Katie and build a close relationship and strong connection with her. Her stepdaughter is a huge gift in her life and feels that she wouldn’t be this close to her stepdaughter if she had her own biological children. You didn’t completely immerse yourself into your artwork until you were in your 30s. How did that come about? Lori's divorce was a huge life-changing event and changed the direction of her life. She was teaching and counseling at the time but wasn’t feeling fulfilled and was starting to get burnt out. When everything was turned upside down, she was devastated and felt that she needed to take care of herself or she was going to fall into a pit. She knew that it would be beneficial to start being creative. Shortly after her husband left, she went to the art store, bought supplies, and poured her feelings out on paper. She started creating art and she really loved it. This was how her art started. Very soon after she read the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She felt she was a “shadow artist”, as her ex-husband was an artist and many great friends were artists, but she never created anything until after her divorce. What advice would you give to women who want to explore their creative potential? Creativity is healing so go toward what you are drawn to. Don’t be afraid to take that first step. Do it for fun. Was there anything that held you back from creating art? Lori loved creating when she was little (she made greeting cards) but believed that you couldn’t make money as an artist. She thought you needed a secure, stable job. She was intimidated by people who had art degrees and she doubted that she could ever make a career out of it. What are the other ways that you nurture yourself? An important way was to accept her feelings. Lori has a tendency to want to feel good all the time so she would push down the feelings that aren’t so good. “If I let myself feel the way I feel, stop all the craziness, and let the hard feelings come, then it would be a peaceful way to mentally be with myself. It’s loving myself through it. Giving myself permission to feel the feelings." How did you decide to create the Gratitude Project? “For me doing my artwork is all about spreading love and happiness. I believe that my purpose in the world is to hold a space of love.” Lori is very sensitive and open. She saw that as a negative thing for a long time. Now she see herself as a peacemaker in the world and she believes that’s part of her job. Artwork to her is spreading love and healing and happiness around and she knows a huge part of that is gratitude. She wants to live from a space of gratitude. What else are the major benefits of not having children? Lori believes a big benefit of not having children is having freedom and open space. She loves how convenient it is not worrying about school districts or making sure she provides a good place for them. Therefore, she’s able to focus on her husband and have quality time with him. Lori also enjoys the financial benefits and is extremely grateful for that too. What would you like to leave the world as your legacy? "Being a person filled with love and spreading love." Lori believes that her artwork is a part of her legacy. “So many women feel that they’re on their own and isolated and you realise that they’re not. It’s just that so many people don’t talk about this openly.” Find out more about Lori's work here and order a copy of her upcoming book "Infinite Purpose" here.

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Sas Petherick is a big-hearted, cognitive coach for real women. She shows women how to experience a life of love, meaning, and joy by thinking on purpose. Sas is an in-demand certified coach, the creator of Rethink Group Coaching programs, and co-host of “The Heart and Hearth Circle.” Sas’ energy, smarts, humour and intuition guide every transformational coaching session and sold out retreat. Find out how to amplify your life with curiosity and kindness here. Sas believes that being childfree was a conscious, personal choice. It’s mostly because she felt ambivalent and never had that ‘pull’ to have a child. It has taken a number of years to come to a conclusive place with the decision. She is very happy to be childless although it’s taken time to get to that place. Sas got divorced at 32 and felt like that part of her life was over. Many people said to her that once she met the right person then she wouldn’t hesitate. She later met Ash, her husband when she was 35, and they had an intimate conversation on their second date about having children. She informed him that it wasn’t something she had in mind and asked him if he was okay with that. It was a very important conversation to have and was their first personal discussion. They then got married and discussed the concept of having children for many years. They’ve been together for more than 7 years and still wonder from time to time if they’ve made the right decision. Fortunately, Sas and her husband continue to believe they have made the right choice. She came to the conclusion that once you meet the right person, you’ll make the right choice (whatever that may be). When you are not 100% certain of your own position and are still deciding, for someone to then question what you’re not certain about, can make you feel vulnerable and exposed. That can be a challenging place to be in. It can be uncomfortable when we feel we have to defend ourselves. It’s important to realise that it’s okay to be in the uncertainty…live the life that you want to live. Did you feel influence from your family or friends that made that made it more difficult? Or were they understanding about your decision? In the past, most of the friendships that Sas developed were through work or travel. She found that she needed to be mindful of who she chose to reveal that vulnerability to. It’s about being respectful of the people we talk to about this. Her mother passed away about a decade ago. She was a psychiatric nurse who worked with women who suffered from post-natal depression. She was a brilliant example to Sas of a woman who was nurturing and mothering. Sas believes that more and more women are deciding that motherhood is not the right choice for them and because of that, can be easier to find people who share your same views and position. What are your thoughts about the question, “Who’s going to look after you when you’re older?” “My standard comeback is about the beautiful Spanish male nurse that I hire.” (Me too please!) Sas says that she has a pact with a few of her close friends that they’ll pitch in and buy a house together and hire some hot Spanish nurses. As we are an increasingly ageing population, it will be more of a reality of friends getting together and living with each other when they’re older. The exciting thing for women who are not going to have children is that you’ve got thirty or forty years ahead of you where you could whole-heartedly focus on something meaningful and fulfilling. One of the key reasons for making the choice to be childless was: The immense freedom with opportunities and possibilities in her future. A common question is: “What does your life mean if you don’t have children?” It can be confronting but you can reveal to yourself a lot of interesting, exciting, and not of the “norm” answers for yourself. For Sas, it was about trusting her intuition and trusting her inner voice. That possibility and freedom feels very exciting to her. Do you have advice for somebody who is struggling with how to respond to people questioning them about being childless? Sas believes that if you are in a place of not knowing what the answer is and people are questioning you, saying, “I don’t know yet” is perfect. “Thank you for your interest, I really don’t know yet” is also a reasonable response. It’s really about letting other peoples’ voices wash over you. This is true for anyone else’s opinion about anything in your life. What would you like to leave as your legacy or message of the values that are important to you? A statement that Sas read a while ago that really stuck out to her was, “A hundred years after you die, no one will speak of your name.” That idea filled her with such relief that she can just live the life she wants to live without anyone having to judge her about it. Sas says don’t live your life worrying about what other people will think of you. Freedom is a huge benefit that you experience without having children. For Sas, it gives her intellectual freedom, financial freedom, and spiritual freedom. Without children, she doesn’t have anyone dependent on her, which gives her the space and freedom to play, create, and do what she wants to do.

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Adele is a published and best selling digital author, owner of vegiehead.com and the Vegie Head Academy and she also writes the national magazines. She’s appeared on the cover of health magazines across the world and lives near the beach on the sunshine coast in Australia. Adele is a recipe evolutionist for people who want to enjoy more plant-based recipes in their diet. She creates food with integrity and encourages others to live a powerful life with powerful plant-based food. Her site “Vegie Head” is a place where saucy, tempting, recipes live and Adele’s inspiring words touch hearts. Adele’s first published cookbook was released worldwide in March 2014 and has been reprinted three times and is now available in three languages. For more about Adele’s work including Vegie Head’s VIP Clubhouse see here. Adele believes that not having a child was a combination of circumstance and a personal choice. In 2010, she had an ectopic pregnancy. She was 10-11 weeks into the pregnancy when it was discovered. It was a shock as she had not known that she was pregnant at the time. She went to the doctor several times and yet they couldn’t find anything wrong. Later, she was rushed to the hospital and went under emergency surgery. This was a scary experience for Adele and looking back she realised that she wasn’t listening to her body. She does not want to take the risk of experiencing another ectopic pregnancy or going through the process of having a child. Adele has always been the type of person who was not particularly interested in having children of her own. She has a 3-year old niece that she absolutely adores. She says she’d rather be a cool auntie rather than a mother. The thing that bothered her most about the ectopic pregnancy was: The pregnancy was unexpected.The fact that she was undergoing such serious surgery that she had no control over. Inspirational aunt: Adele’s aunt (now 60 years old) had her tubes tied at 18 because she also had an ectopic pregnancy and was not interested in having children. Adele has spoken to her about this multiple times and her aunt said that she’s only met a couple of people in her life who can whole-heartedly say that it’s a decision they made consciously. Adele says she was an awesome aunt and was always active in her life. Adele sees herself in more of a similar role. Not every woman is a natural mother or should be a parent. Many women don’t have a biological urge to have children, whereas some feel that drive very strongly. If you know that it’s not your path, then it’s important to listen to yourself and follow that. Also, to respect people who say that that’s not their choice. Adele experienced people questioning her and making her feel that she didn’t make the right decision. There has to be respect for women who make the conscious and unconscious decision not to have children. Adele has had that forced upon her, even coming from her husband’s family members asking, “So when are you and Paul going to have kids?” It’s not the right thing to ask, especially if they are going through a difficult time. Were there any challenging situations, beliefs, or questions that came up? Did it send you to a period of self-inquiry? Adele really felt like the whole ectopic experience was her fault. She was in agony and in the hospital had hot water bottles on her shoulders and an ice pack on her stomach for the inflammation. She turned to her husband Paul and cried in pain and fear. She felt like she manifested it and that it was her responsibility for what happened. She did a lot of self-inquiry and has taken her a long time to be able to talk about it freely. It’s about being honest with yourself, listening to your body, and to your instincts. It’s one of those subjects where we don’t give ourselves enough credit and listen to ourselves. In Adele’s life, she doesn’t think that having biological children is for her. However, she and her husband are open to fostering and adopting. There are so many children out there that need homes and loving parents and Adele doesn’t believe that love or parenting has anything to do with biology. You don’t need to give birth to someone to be their mother or that you don’t necessarily have to be a biological mother to give them the motherly love that they want. We are extending that feminine, mothering, caring, loving energy in so many ways in different parts of our lives. It’s up to each individual to see which way is most fulfilling and rewarding for them. Adele shares that kind of relationship with her pets. It’s an example of having a loving bond and in return they give us that unconditional love. Adele calls her dogs her babies and treats them like humans. She’s grateful that she can experience that and have that bond like how she would with her own children. They need that same love, care, and stimulation that a child would need. She compares taking care of her dogs to parents taking care of their children. Having a dog is great if you are practicing to be a parent and do require a lot of hard work. This is one way that Adele shows her nurturing, caring nature. Adele believes that if we have a loving relationship with food then we can eat it lovingly and feel good about it as oppose to having these confusing and disparaging relationships with food. When we are eating good food and fueling our bodies, we’re saying to our bodies that we love them and that we are mothering and nurturing our bodies in a way. For her, working with women, connecting with people and making sure that her cubby is full allows her to do it for other people as well. It’s mothering yourself and treating yourself how you would treat a child and showing kindness. Adele models that through her relationship with food. She is also writing and educating about that and is creating a book about recipes for dogs. This goes back to nurturing someone else other than ourselves but at the same time, she is nurturing herself because cooking for her dogs gives her love and happiness to do that for them. It can be a difficult and challenging process to foster and adopt children. There are so many children who would benefit from a loving home and there are many people who would love to have a child but may not be physically able to. Adele mentions that it will be interesting to see how the processes become easier over the years, so that it’s more accessible for suitable parents. Adele has seen neglected kids everywhere with parents who aren’t good influences. She had a girlfriend who was trying to adopt and suddenly lost her job. She couldn’t get another job in that industry and so was unable to adopt a child. It isn’t right that the process is so complicated, when at the same time people can easily have children and neglect them. Hopefully the process can become easier so that suitable and responsible parents can give children the loving homes they need. What do you feel is your most important message? What would you like to leave as your legacy? Adele asks herself, “What can I do to change the lives of the people around me or the animals around me?” For her, it would come down to working closely with dogs whether it be leaving people with books or educating people about it or raising a charity. If we: Connect to what we feel passionately about and believe in;Be ourselves;Give ourselves permission to share openly. It can only be of positive benefit to others and yourself, because you are living and speaking the truth. We have to respect each woman’s path and not judge women based on the actions they take. Adele loves her own space and loves doing things for herself and says that if she can’t give to herself, she can’t give everything she’s giving out to the world. One of Adele’s wonderful projects is“Rituals”. I was delighted to contribute my personal experience of a molar pregnancy and also an aromatic bathing ritual. This is about ‘celebrating and grieving the loss of a child. A collection of stories to help you grieve, release and heal’. There are some beautiful tools and resources in here and I highly recommend it for any woman who is looking for sacred rituals to assist in coming to terms with what has occurred. There are some very moving personal stories. You can find it here. Find out more about Adele and her wonderful work atVegiehead where she shares a wealth of information, recipes, and courses.

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Christine Erickson believes in reflective learning through connecting with nature and works with horses as teaching partners for executive education and individual development and healing. She is the founder of One Legacy Coaching, LLC and The Mother Within initiative. Christine has facilitated learning programs for incredibly diverse individuals, executive leadership teams and social businesses internationally. As a coach and entrepreneur she enjoys working with clients who want to practice and embody intentional and creative living, self-leadership that inspires, and the heart space to serve others. It is her intention to connect with and serve other women through The Mother Within initiative in order to create an expressive and representative space for women without children and to breach cultural and social conversations that ultimately affect all women. Christine considers that for her, not having a child was circumstantial. At a time when having a child may have been possible, she was in an unhealthy marital relationship and didn’t feel it would be right to bring a child into that situation. By the time she had healed and moved on, her next partner already had children and did not want more. By this time, she was in her 40′s and had come to terms with the fact that having a child was not going to happen. It was a gradual realisation for herself and her life. A time of acceptance came slowly and with deep awareness. What helped Christine feel clearer about not having a child, was getting quiet and observing the pain and the process of going through it. This is the point in time when she wrote her book The Mother Within. She used many coaching tools and mindset work, but what really helped her heal was being quiet. She realised that she is a maternal Being. Owning and accepting this allowed her maternal sense to show itself in her relationships with others. She realises that this will be within her in various ways in different stages of her life. In her relationships with family and friends, Christine didn’t feel particularly supported about this issue, mainly because she wasn’t completely open about it. Her experience was more about the silence around the issue of not having a child. Once she became more comfortable about responding to things it opened up a gateway for communication with others. There has been awkwardness around the issue. Some people in our society have been not been conditioned to accept the possibility of not having children. In the US, almost 50% of women of a childbearing age do not have children at all. This number is much larger when you consider men who are also childfree. One point that Christine discusses in her book: if you look at things systemically, taxation or different regulations in our society; they feed the need to have children or get married. This is a paradigm that needs to shift and consider what we are and who we are right now. We are a rapidly ageing population and increasingly more are without children. There needs to be much more open conversation around this topic. With her work with women and the horses, Christine has integrated the work of women as coaches and healing professionals. This allows people to move out of the verbal mind space and to get back into their bodies in the sensing and knowing/feeling space with horses. Some of the positives: * Horses are non-judgmental; * A horse’s energy is clean; * They are so present that it draws people into that presence; * There’s a harmonic exchange between the person and the horse; * Being around horses allows our minds to release energy in different ways; * Everyone has a horse story; * We don’t have to be perfect around a horse (it’s about being authentic); * Horses are very sensitive.

Many people have had a fearful experience with a horse. When someone has a lot of energy emanating, the response from the horse is basically trying to meet that energy. How to distill those fears, which is not necessarily negative, (it’s just information) can become a damaging experience. The facilitator needs to feel the honour of helping others come away with a positive experience. Acknowledging people’s fears is important. It’s better than trying to pretend that you’re fine, when you’re petrified inside. When you acknowledge your fears and accept them, the horse will be more relaxed around you. Christine has been doing this work since 2009. She has had a coaching practice for many years before she started incorporating work with horses. Everyone is at a different space within their journey. This is a great way of leaving a legacy. The one thing she wanted people who are in her situation to be conscious of, “We don’t have to leave or create a profound legacy just because we do not have a genetic legacy.” Her definition of legacy is more around people tapping into what is authentic for them, what they love to do, how they interact with and impact people or their own lives. If you can share that with others or serve other people, that’s a legacy. It can be creating a vibration of words every day intentionally that you send out to building a non-profit that serves girls and leadership. We’re all here to leave a legacy with or without children. Name it and do it consciously. There are many myths about not having a child such as “You can’t experience real love if you don’t have a child or can’t relate until you’ve experienced that type of love.” This is part of what drove Christine to write her book. 1. Reclaim the real space – “Whatever our greatest experience of love is, IS our greatest experience of love.” 2. Myths (proposed fact) are there to support social construct and not necessarily what’s real. 3. Myths divide the notion of what real parenting is – it traps women in two different directions 4. When the language is absolute, “There is no love in the world like…” “No one except your mother…” – reinforces all those social constructs. 5. It forces competitiveness when there’s no right or wrong in this area of life.

The reality of parenthood is something you can’t imagine until you’re experiencing it. We should never claim or define someone else’s experience. We may be losing our womanhood to motherhood. Some women that Christine admires as mothers are so conscious and work really hard at being themselves, at the same time as being conscious mothers. They’re living in such a keen awareness. Christine believes that at times the social definitions of motherhood or women without children, keeps us in a space of judgment and separation and also takes our energy and contribution as women collectively. In creating or producing meaning for your life – through the grief and acceptance of not having a child when you wanted one, this is the space we should re-acknowledge women and to be able to not only heal but compassionately witness each other and honour and celebrate each other. The Mother Within – what we are doing and who we are being is the expression. As for her greatest work, Christine feels that is “who are we being and what we are becoming in life”. She is working to continuously live a very conscientious life. As for role models, Christine doesn’t look at someone or would name anyone based on whether they have a child or not, what she considers as someone she’s inspired by is Jody Day, of Gateway Women. It’s the people who are becoming visible to create a conversation for a more feasible, creative and spiritual life for those who are maternal Beings and acknowledgment for women as a whole. Be our best selves…no matter what it looks like. Get Christine’s book here and find out more about The Mother Within here.

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Julie Parker is one of Australia’s foremost life and business coaches and trainers, with more than a decade of experience, inspiring hundreds of clients and thousands of people to create beautiful lives and businesses. She is the CEO and founder of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy. Julie passionately trains and supports heart-centred, gifted people to bring their talents and love of giving into the world, as life coaches. Julie is a published author and TedX speaker and has shared the speaking stage with amazing ladies such as Clare Bowditch, Christina Re, Gretel Killeen, Carolyn Cresswell and Gala Darling. She is the recipient of numerous awards including the Australia Day Citizenship Award and Business and Professional Women’s Woman of Achievement Award. Julie appears regularly in the media including Today Tonight, A Current Affair, Sunrise and The Morning Show; as well as in publications such as Grazia, Cleo, Cosmopolitan, Fitness and Health and national newspapers. She is also the Editor in Chief of the fabulous Inspired Coach Magazine. Julie lives in Melbourne with her husband, stepdaughter and two much loved adopted cats. Was not having a child due to a personal choice or circumstance? Julie’s story is a mixture of both. She had always thought that she would have children and be a biological mother, but by her early to mid-30’s she hadn’t met the man who was to be her future husband and she started to think differently and accept the possibility of not being a biological mother. Around the same time, she started having gynaecological issues. Shortly thereafter, she met her now husband who had a child from a previous marriage. From the beginning, he was honest with Julie that he didn’t want to have any more children, and being convinced that she had found the man that she would be with for life, having children wasn’t as important to Julie anymore. What was more important was building a great life with her husband and being a good stepmother to his daughter. Her desire to have children greatly lessened, something she came to very much be at peace with. Overall, Julie felt that not having a child emerged to be due to her circumstances, but in the end became a life choice. “The experience of being a woman in the 21st century is so very different to what it was like.” In deciding not to be a biological mother, were there any processes that you had to go through? There was an interesting response from a friend and her mother and Julie had to think very carefully if this was something she would regret. She spent a lot of time by herself and had to dig deeper within herself, as she realised that she needed to be the one who had to be okay with her decision. Julie has always been taken aback with people’s response when they hear that someone has decided not to have children, noting that it is interesting because they don’t respond the same way if people decide to have children. Some responses Julie has found have been that she might have been compromised in some way and she had to them that she was fine. Julie was most concerned about her mother’s reaction to not having children but it came back as a surprise to her. She asked Julie, “are you happy?” to which she answered “never ever been happier in my life”, “Well then, carry on with that! Children do not a marriage make. It’s all about your partnership.” On her relationship with her stepdaughter: Having been a part of her stepdaughter’s life for over 7 years now has been very fulfilling for Julie. Although she does acknowledge that a step-parent’s role is not an easy one at times, she feels very blessed. A big reason for that is because her husband has always been a great father. Some people suspect from someone who may not want to have any more children, that they are tired of being a parent or that it was difficult, but that wasn’t the case at all with her husband. He was at a stage in his life where he was very happy forging a relationship with his daughter and just didn’t feel the need to have more. It seems that there may be a lot of young women out there who thought that having a child would fulfill them and Julie wonders that if they had to make the choice over again, if they would have chosen differently. Everyone is different in their perception of what a beautiful and fulfilling life ought to be. It’s obvious that Julie, through her work in helping other women to be life coaches, utilises her own nurturing and mothering qualities in this way. Unfortunately our society tends to look at women without children as: Someone who couldn’t love others; A mean person; A threat in some way; Someone who doesn’t like kids. A definition of a Mother = to give rise to or to produce. We all do that in different ways. What brings Julie fulfilment in that way? All life coaches that train with Julie are women who want to birth their own business or emerge as a life coach. She has been able to help others create a business or a life which is surrounded by heart and compassion. Julie feels that this is exactly what she was brought here to do. She feels that she helps people give rise to that in their lives and step out into the world with new found confidence and skills to establish their businesses. How do you support yourself on a physical or mental level? Julie has never been much good with routines. She feels that if she sustains a lovely practice that will keep her topped up. Other things that Julie does to nurture herself: Use oils on her body; Meditation; Warm baths; Good wine; Being outdoors in her garden; Spending time with children; Doing her work. She enjoys meditation but also she surrounds herself with incredible and supportive people. She has already cut ties with those who have brought her down in the past. On social infertility: there seems to be a growing phenomenon with women who are accomplished in life but can’t seem to find a man who they would want to have a family with. There is a growing group of women who are empowered and well accomplished in life and at the same time, there seems to be more men who don’t want children as well. It’s creating a mis-match. Another issue is that people stay at home longer and struggle to purchase their own homes. There has been a report on the average cost of raising a child to be just under half a million dollars. It is astronomical to raise a child in our society nowadays. On top of the expenses you also have to be the best parent that you can be. We need to be very clear about our life decisions and at the same time respect other people’s decisions. Unfortunately there are still so many people out there who are very judgmental about others decisions to not have a child. On a practical level, Julie is very busy with her business and travelling. If she had a small child she would have had a lot more to juggle. She realised that if she had had a child, her business would have been very different from what it is now or even potentially may not have happened. On the legacy she wants to leave: the hope that she had inspired people to truly embrace and love themselves for exactly who they are and the choices that they make. She feels that this is really what she needs to do is to help people realise that they are enough. These are people who are natural born givers and helpers. You can find out more about Julie and her work here.

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Amy E. Smith is a certified and credentialed confidence coach, a masterful speaker and personal empowerment expert. She is the founder of the Joy Junkie Enterprises and uses her role as a coach, writer, podcaster and speaker to move individuals beyond their limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love. Amy is very focused on helping people find their voice and uses her popular weekly podcast, the Joy Junkie Show to address issues of worthiness, self-confidence and letting go of people pleasing tendencies to assist listeners in creating and living radically joyful lives. She’s also the co-founder of The Self-love Revolution and has been instrumental in aiding hundreds of women to step into their authentic power and crafting lives they desire. She is a highly sought after speaker and has an uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom and humor. She’s also a featured expert on Fox 5 San Diego and Your Tango. You can find out more about Amy at The Joy Junkie and get a free copy of her eBook, Stand up for Yourself without Being a Dick, how to face challenges to radically improve self-confidence and self-love. There’s almost 50% of women in the US of the child-bearing age who are currently childless. Amy sees the difference in how people speak to her about this subject from the first few years of her marriage with her husband of 17 years to now. Lately there’s more of an acceptance in that regard than what it was years ago. Almost a quarter of women over 40 don’t have children. What are your thoughts about that? One of the overwhelming response that Amy received from people when she broached this subject on her podcast was that they didn’t realise that they were allowed to not want children. Now she feels that there is a huge personal development movement. How did this decision evolve for you personally? When Amy was a little girl she saw clearly for herself to not have any children of her own. She didn’t have the overwhelming feeling of being matriarchal. It still took many years to be totally confident about it. It’s not our job to make people understand. This is where self-love and self-care comes in. People may never get it. She decides to not participate in conversations where she feels disrespected about her decisions. No one has the right to tell you when you should be fulfilled or not. Did you have any backlash from family or friends on your decision? There was a long period of time when people within their families were convinced that she would change her mind. By the time they were about to go through the procedure they had already been married for 9 years. They then understood that having children just wasn’t for them. Amy’s mother mentioned one time, “it just makes it really hard when everybody in the office talks about their grandkids.” Amy clarified the fact that it’s her own life that’s being affected and not so that her mother can talk about grandkids. A conversation regarding having children historically: * You needed children to work your fields. * You needed children to carry on your lineage. * We weren’t over populated like we are now. * That was the priority at the time.

The word selfishness leaves a really bad taste in our mouths. What’s needed is more people tending to themselves. Decisions should be based on yourself and not what other people think you should be. Those people who are fulfilled with themselves don’t need to look outside of themselves for validation. “By being selfish, you’re being selfless.” How would say you mother yourself? “To mother” = to give rise to; to produce. Amy feels that the word didn’t resonate with her. She considers this more like self-care: * If she feels good about something she doesn’t cower about expressing it. * She handles herself with grace and kindness. * If someone says something to her that’s highly offensive, you need to conduct yourself in a way in which you are proud. * Take care of yourself.

What do you feel, upon reflection, is the major benefit of not having children? She and her husband are planning on moving across country, they don’t have to worry about a school district or uprooting them from their friends. Amy sees that there’s so much freedom to speak off. There’s no sense of loss for her. Her relationship with her husband leaves her completely fulfilled. The expense that they have not incurred with having children is also another freedom. What do you feel is your message for your life? In doing her work, Amy feels that what we all really want is just to be happy. Her goal and purpose is to be happy and joyful – to live a life of happiness. She believes that most people are chasing what they want to feel. She feels that fundamentally we do crave love from other people. If she can affect change in people’s lives, that’s an amazing legacy for Amy. That’s what fulfills her. “You’re allowed to feel strong and convicted about your beliefs.”You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Amy also has discussed this topic with her husband in a podcast episode that you can access here “Top 10 Reasons Why We Don’t Want Kids” and find out more about Amy here.

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Melanie Notkin is a media entrepreneur, author, speaker, marketer, and a leading voice of childless, often single women. She is the founder of the Savvy Auntie lifestyle brand and is also the national best selling author of the book, SAVVY AUNTIE: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great Aunts, Godmothers and All Women Who Love Kids and Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind of Happiness. You can find out more about Melanie’s work here. Melanie believes that being childless for her was due to circumstance. She always wanted to find love, get married, and have a child with that man and yet she remained single. She is 46 and always expected to have found that love and would not settle for anything less. Unfortunately, whilst she hoped it would happen before her fertility waned, she has remained without a child. What do you think are some of the reasons that women are facing? “Social infertility” is an increasingly used term. Melanie uses the term “circumstantial infertility,” the pain and grief over not having a child because you don’t have a partner and you would prefer to have a child with a partner. It is a global Western trend and is a global phenomenon. There was a 15-page feature in DE Morgan, the largest daily in Brussels for Mother’s Day on “Otherhood”, the title of her second book. “I think that part of it has to do with the fact that women today, our generation, the daughters of the feminist movement born in the 60s, 70s, 80s, imagine we’d have the social, economic, and political equality our mothers didn’t have when they were born. Naturally we’d have the husbands and kids that they did have. Plus the education and the financial stability, and independence, alas many of us had not been able to find that love.” Melanie thinks it’s partly because of the even split in education and in financial strength and ability. This generation of single women are among the most well educated, most financially successful, often the most fit and fabulous. These are the most A+ women who can’t find a match. It’s not because they are too picky, it’s that they want to have a partner who challenges and supports them and to feel that the person adds value to their life and family. Also, on the women’s side, we’ve been told, believed, and in some ways agree that in order to be equal to men, we have to become a little more like men. Women have lost our femininity and trying to shoulder a lot of the traditional roles that men often participated in. Melanie thinks that we are all a little confused about how we should act and truthfully feels that we get turned on by courtship. It seems that there is work to do on both sides to try to bring that together in a more balanced way. She believes that the simple solution is honesty. Melanie learned to only agree to dates that only work for her. This means that she would make the man work and choose the place of venue rather that her making the decision. We have to understand as women, that there is tremendous power in our femininity. If there weren’t such great power in our femininity, there wouldn’t be such male misogyny. It’s actually our femininity that is threatening to men than there is masculine energy. As women, we nurture everyone around us so we need to be aware and know how to use that femininity appropriately. How did Savvy Auntie come about? Savvy Auntie came about before Otherhood. Melanie had the idea in 2007 and she launched it in the summer of 2008. She was in her late 30s and always expected to be married and have kids by then. The most important people in her life were her nephews and nieces. She didn’t know what to do, what they were in to, and all the things parents were talking about. Often, women who don’t have children can feel left out because they are spending a big part of their life without kids. Melanie then got the idea that there needed to be a community just for them, which is how Savvy Auntie was born. She was a marketer by trade so she knew there was a business in that. When is International Aunties’ Day? International Aunties’ Day is always on the fourth Sunday in July so this year it will be on July 26. What do you typically do on that day and what do you do to celebrate that day? How does that work? Just like Mother’s Day, it’s a day to celebrate and honor the aunt or godmother in a child’s life. It’s up to the families how they want to celebrate that day but it could is simply be a Skype call to communicate or with a card or a hug. It’s a way to acknowledge how much you love and care about them and how much they mean to you. What is your definition of “childfull” and how did that word come about? Melanie struggled with the words “childless” and “childfree”.Childless is the generic term for a woman or man who doesn’t have children. It has the word “less” in it and nobody wants to feel less than. Childfree is the implication of one that is free from children. Melanie does not feel childfree because she has children in her life. “Childfull” means that one’s life is full of children they love. This sounds very positive and most women who don’t have a child of their own but have a child in their life would agree to that term. Melanie titled her book Otherhood because it’s not motherhood. Feminists talked about the idea of women being second to man, that women are other to man, and that equality would mean that we are no longer other to man. Childless women often feel other to mother. Melanie thinks that our next stage of liberation and feeling equal of our own equality movement is to show that we are equal to mother and that we are not other to mother. It is a good way to show we are fighting for that sense of equality. There was a study done in Australia that showed how even among self-assured, confident, successful women, the feeling of otherness can make a woman feel less than. It’s interesting how people now choose the natural period in a woman’s life when to have children. People often make stereotypes that can be damaging and are not valid at all. It can be a lot of pressure on a woman who’s not necessarily responsible for her circumstances. Melanie thinks that one of the stereotypes are called “career woman.” If you are single at 40 and don’t have children, most people will identify you as a career woman meaning that you care more about your career than a family which can be completely incorrect. Melanie talks about women freezing their eggs in their mid to late 30s even 40+ in order to have children once they find a man. It’s quite an expensive process that women are doing. Two major companies, Apple and Facebook, said that they would fund up to $20,000 for women to freeze their eggs, which is an extraordinary gift. Melanie calls it “The Dating Bermuda Triangle” where women are between the ages of 35 to 40 and men often think that the women are desperate for children. The truth is that she could be feeling desperate and can be a challenging and tough time for her. One should know that this whole process reverses itself. Once the woman is in her 40s, all of a sudden a man who is in his 40s or 50s, starts to wonder why isn’t that woman desperate for me and he becomes more desperate for the woman who was once the confident one. However the woman of the “otherhood” will never settle for lesser love because if they were to have done that, it would have been at age 22 when their eggs were much fresher. What do you think is the way forward and how do you think we can address this? Are there more women than men in that age group? Melanie thinks that it can be very helpful to be more honest. We have to be the ones to expect something different from ourselves. Once we start doing this, the conversation will start to change and the way the conversations are told back to society, through media, marketing, etc, that’s when things will start to change. There are so many women leading fulfilled lives creating things for themselves when they come to a point where: They either didn’t choose to have children by choice. It just did not happened due to circumstance. “Babies are born from the womb, maternity is born form the soul, and there are many ways to mother.” Melanie states that this was not the life she expected but it is in many ways a life beyond her expectations. She is doing things she never expected to do. People have asked her if she had any regrets. Her response is no but beyond that, the way she looks at life is, “Regret is behind me and my love and my life is ahead of me and if I’m back there in regret, I’ll never meet him and I’ll never life the life I was meant to live.” The only advice she gives to “otherhood” is to the reader to turn the page and start her next chapter. She wants everybody to move forward. What happens to many of us is that we get stuck. Many of us live on this “borderline regret.” “Do I choose A or B?” Melanie wants every listener to make a choice and once you’ve done that, you’ll be free and you’ll be living the authentic life you’re meant to live. Be honest with yourself/ Have honest conversations with others. Don’t live in that regret and try not to be stuck in that grief. As children, we’d imagine and dream what our future would be like. We do that today as adults and we don’t let go of what our imagination had decided our life to be. Whoever is feeling stuck and that their life isn’t the way they want, write down 10 things that you appreciate abut yourself and the accomplishments you’ve made. Then you’ll realize all of the things you actually have rather than what’s missing. Who would you say are your most inspirational role models of women? Diane Von Furstenberg – her mother is a Holocaust survivor. Elizabeth Gilbert – childfree by choice No matter how you feel, there are women like Diane who are born out of the ashes. Sometimes it takes those low moments to realize that change is about to happen. What would you like to leave the world as your legacy? “Move forward and keep going.” You can find out more about Melanie’s work here.

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I’m excited to share this first episode of my new podcast,Unclassified Woman. This is a short audio where I explain why I am creating the podcast, what I hope to accomplish and who it is for! Unclassified Woman is for women who don’t have, or don’t intend to have children, but do intend to create a meaningful life they love. Unclassified Woman gives voice to the almost 25% of Western women who aren’t easily heard over the mother-focussed mainstream media. Part myth busting, part inspirational story sharing, the podcast features women living meaningful lives, sharing their experiences and insights, while questioning the expectations of women everywhere. I have a dream that one day, women who don’t have children – for whatever reason (and there are many) – no longer endure the unfair judgments placed upon them. My hope for these women, of which I am one, is that their worth as women isn’t measured by their ability to birth children, but rather by their ability to birth their true desires and contribute their gifts to the world. We have so much to look forward to and each episode will bring you the inspiring story of a woman who has chosen to birth the true desires of her heart. I will be sharing information that I hope is helpful and insightful. I would also love to hear any suggestions of any possible guests for future episodes. A new episode will be published weekly.

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Jody Day is an author, social entrepreneur and the founder of Gateway Women a global friendship and support network for childless women. She is a founding member at AWOC, (Ageing without Children Collective) and a Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School at Cambridge University in the UK. Jody’s book, Rocking the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Life Without Children is an Amazon bestseller. Jody runs workshops, social events and private sessions for women coming to terms with the life that doesn’t include motherhood as well as speaking out about the issues and prejudices that childless women face. You can find out more about Jody’s work here.

In this episode, Jody shares how she be turning 51 this year and her journey and experience of being a childless woman up until this point in her life. At 20 years old she had an abortion. She was in a long line of women who have had children at a very young age and her mother had impressed upon her that she needed to live her own life before she should have children. At 29 she tried to conceive with her then husband. However, by 33-34 she still was not pregnant. By this time she was doing all she could to conceive. Unfortunately her marriage started to deteriorate. At 38, her husband suggested they try IVF. However she realised that it wouldn’t be right to bring a baby into their marriage. After having a nervous breakdown soon after and many realisations, she decided to divorce her husband. By the time she was 43 and had experienced a few other relationships, she realised that that her opportunity to be a mother had passed. Reflecting on her life and wanting to have a child, Jody realised how obsessed she had been. She admitted that at one point she even was willing to ignore her husband’s addictions because she wanted to have a child so badly. It was a very difficult and challenging time. Realising and accepting the fact that she wouldn’t be a mother was an excruciating and long process. For about 15 years she had the strong feeling of connection within her belly that she put her life on hold and planned her whole life around that feeling. She called this, psychologically nesting. She was preparing this space in her life for the family that was coming. She was living a half-life – it became one-track. It was a massive shock realising that this life would never happen. She went into a profound period of grieving which she wasn’t aware of at the time. Since she couldn’t find the right help for herself at that time, she decided to become a psychotherapist. At first she thought that she couldn’t be a good psychotherapist since she wasn’t a mother but then realised that after going through her experiences she could be a great one. She is in the process of completing her studies.. When she was going through the portion of her class on grief she realised that was what she was going through a few months previously. She wrote down a map of her emotional experience including the emotional experiences of the women she was meeting while she was writing the Gateway Women’s blog and realised that it was a perfect fit. With great relief she realised that: There was a name for what she was experiencing. She wasn’t going crazy. This will be over one day. She compares this grief to losing a parent. Once you lose them, you can’t have another. That’s the same as realising that you can never have a child, you will never have all the “firsts” experiences. The grief also came in the form of alienation from her peer group or how they thought about her because she’s childless. The loss of her identity as a woman. Some of her friends were understanding but it was too painful for her to be around them. She withdrew. People made the most hopeless but well-meaning comments. How do you deal with some of the inappropriate questions or comments? “It depends on who the person is, what the situation is and people are a bit clueless about it but it is still a socially acceptable question.” Some feisty women in her Gateway group have been known to say – usually to strangers – if someone asked “Do you have kids? Why not?” The response, “Well, I didn’t know that we were going to get personal so quickly, so how much do you earn?” This is a private matter! Jody found that her answers have changed over time after facing her grief. There’s a myth that people who don’t have children hate children. Jody says that it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Her response has changed to, “No, I’m just not fortunate enough.” She feels that the culture should probably change to where if someone does (or does not) have children, they should be the first to mention them. People may not be intentionally unkind, they’re just being thoughtless. This is no longer a small subject. 1 in 5 women are turning 45 without having children. 10% of those have made the choice. 10% have some kind of medical infertility or other medical issues that prevent them from having children. 80% are childless by circumstance due to so many reasons at the time of their fertile years. “The really important reason they haven’t had children is because they haven’t gotten pregnant accidentally on purpose.” Social Infertility is a term that is commonly used now – There are so many women out there in their 30’s and 40’s who want to find a suitable partner but just can’t. Jody feels that there are some important reasons for that. She calls the current generation as the “shock absorber generation” after the sexual revolution because: We have access to the pill.We have access to legalized and safe abortions.We have access to higher education.We have access to executive professions.We have access to fertility treatments. There has been an increase of women going into the higher professions but we don’t have the same corresponding number of men doing so. It’s important that we put our situation into the social and economic context of our time. We are living through an extraordinary moment in the history of dating and mating. Can you now see the gifts and benefits having gone through all that experience? For Jody, not being able to have children really broke her heart. “…broke me but also broke me open in a profound way that has changed me…childlessness broke my heart but grief healed it bigger.” It has helped her become the woman that she was meant to be. Jody has been able to use her mother’s heart in a different way in the work that she’s doing now. It’s deeply satisfying. She’s comfortable with the idea that she might be single for the rest of her life but there are times that it is difficult. She really loves her life now. “How am I going to fill my life until death?” Jody understands that grief is a form of love. “We only grieve that which we have loved.” Grief is a relational emotion. It may allow us to love again. “Time does not heal grief, only grieving heals grief.” Grief needs to be related to. The most important thing about grief is it needs to be heard. Steps toward healing from grief: Allow yourself to feel those feelings.Allow yourself to go through the process, don’t try to stop it.There needs to be some kind of dialogue – with anyone.Allow yourself to be vulnerable.Being open and vulnerable allows others to be open and vulnerable. Moving forward, Jody is excited to confirm that her book is going to be republished by Bluebird (PanMacmillan) in the UK to come out for International Women’s Day in March 2016. It’s a revised and expanded version and will be translated into other languages. She was also made a Fellow of Social Innovation at Cambridge University for her work with Gateway Women. This gives her the opportunity to teach the new generation of leaders. These group of women are an extraordinary resource in a culture in desperate need of cause. It’s not a coincidence. Jody feels that this group of women are filling in the gaps, where mothers out there may be too busy raising the next great generation. See here to order Jody’s book Did you enjoy this episode? Do you have any friends or family members that you feel would benefit from this podcast series? Please share.

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