The Marks of a Man

Summary: Jeff Struecker did not do anything more right or better than anybody who’s buried in Arlington National Cemetery. God decided to spare him on the streets of Somalia. Jeff wants people to know he doesn’t take credit for the sense of peace that he had. It was a gift from God. It was so overwhelmingly clear to his buddies that they were ready to start asking questions the next day.

Jim invites you, the listener, if you are moved, to reach out to Jeff on his website or reach out to Jim on MenBuildMen.com to engage with them about the peace Jeff is talking about. It’s a gift, a fruit of the Spirit. Jim and Jeff tell people about the most masculine man that ever existed, Jesus Christ. As men, they follow Jesus and you can too. Jim implores you to read the Bible and to reach out to Jim or Jeff with any questions.

Jim invites Jeff to speak about learning to be a Christian in his roles of husband to his wife and father to his boys while being deployed.

Jeff has led men in combat in some of the most dangerous situations Americans have seen in 75 years. By far, the hardest thing he has ever had to do is lead his family. He realized what they needed in a husband and a father and how far he was from what they needed. Jeff talked in an earlier part of this interview about coaching his sons. Now he talks about his responsibility to his daughters. He realized that when they looked for a man to marry, they would look for what they saw in their father. He recognized he needed to step up his game to be the example they needed. Jeff took the Bible seriously and they read it as a family. He read it personally and did devotions. The Bible taught him to be the spiritual leader of his family. He realized he needed to be farther along spiritually than his wife to lead her spiritually. He had to put some real work into that. Jeff started seeking out Godly men of all ages and stations in life and asking them what they had done right and what they had done wrong. Jeff repeats this is the hardest thing he has ever done because he knew himself, and what his family needed from him. He knew how far he was from what they needed him to be.

Jeff challenges the guys who are listening right now; you need to be farther along spiritually. Your wife should be able to look at you and say, “I wish I had that man’s faith.” You should be the kind of guy that your daughter says, “I’m going to marry a man exactly like my Daddy one day,” or a son says, “I’m going to grow up to be exactly like that man one day.” Jeff says if you put it in those terms, we all have some room to grow, right?

Jim encourages the guys listening not to be fearful of reading the Bible in a devotional with their family. Just do it! Get after it! If you don’t know how just begin to do it and it will grow. If you don’t implement anything, then nothing’s going to be done.

Jeff knows he cannot force his wife or children to believe what he believes. No human being can push that on another human being. But he can live his life so consistently that even if they don’t believe what he believes, they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he believes it. That was Jeff’s goal, so he had to be consistent. Jeff admits there were some days when he didn’t feel like it! He had to get up and do it anyway because they needed to see it in him. Jeff also realized that God had given him a Godly wise wife, and he needed to listen to her advice. When they had family challenges and decisions to make, Jeff always asked her. He also gave her veto authority in his life for about the first 20 years. He said. “If this ever gets too much, if it’s ever too difficult, you have the right to pull the veto card and I will look at doing something different.” Once or twice, the stress of what the military placed on their family was just too much, and at her veto, he made some changes that he didn’t necessarily want to make, but he did it to keep his family. When Jeff retired from the Army, he had lots of accomplishments, but he said at his retirement, “None of that matters to me. What matters to me is I’m still married to my high school sweetheart. We have five children and a great relationship with all five of them and most of my friends can't say that. But I can say that because I made some big sacrifices along the way so that my family knew they came first.”

Jim affirms that Jeff had been led by the Lord to understand that souls are more important than accomplishments. Why do some men look for accomplishments over a strong marriage or developing and producing Godly children?

Jeff doesn’t think most guys put accomplishments over family on purpose. They are in a pressure cooker between the needs of the family and the needs of the job that they have so they can feed their family. They don’t choose wrong on purpose. They get confused between making a lot of money so their family can have nice things, and spending time with the family. Your family doesn’t need nice things. They need Dad or a husband. If that means you don’t get the big promotion, OK. When your children are grown and out of the house, when you’ve been married for 45 years, nobody’s going to care about the possessions. It’s going to be the time they had or didn’t have with Dad that they will remember for the rest of their lives. If you’re thinking you can’t be great at both of these things at the same time, you are where most men and women are at this time. Jeff wants you to hear this: If you have to choose, then choose your family every time, because that will last for a lifetime. Your job will one day go away. If you’ve given your family what they deserve, they’ll be around you on your deathbed.

Jim speaks of the Marks of a Man, and one of them is sacrifice. Jim affirms Jeff for being willing to sacrifice. Some men are unwilling to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of their marriage or children. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Jesus sacrificed himself for the church. What does that sacrifice look like in a marriage? Jim affirms that Jeff has done a pretty good job of describing his military sacrifices in Mogadishu. A lot of Christian men are not doing that well in their marriages. Jeff had sought the advice of Godly mentors. A lot of guys try to do it solo but are not intentional about implementing something to correct their deficiencies.

Jeff echoes Jim’s words. Jeff had to make some sacrifices in his military career for his family. Looking back, he is glad that he made those sacrifices. There were a few dreams that he had in the Army that he never got the chance to pursue. He didn’t pursue them because he knew the cost for his family would be too much. Jeff talks to the guy who’s giving too much to work, “If you’re not willing to make a little sacrifice and somebody else gets promoted in front of you, and you don’t maybe make it to the top, but you still have a family, listen, man, part of the sacrifice means being willing to even put yourself in second place to your family. In fact, I kind of wonder sometimes, are you pursuing the corner office and the top job because of what it can give you and hoping that it’s going to fill you up on the inside and make you feel good about yourself? Because if you are, it’s going to totally let you down, man.” Jeff had to make some sacrifices at home, too. He didn’t have hobbies for 20 years. He went to work, he worked a lot of hours, and the Army dictated his schedule. When he went home, he didn’t have hobbies because he knew his wife and children needed his undivided attention. When the children left the home, then he felt he could start to pick up a hobby that he’s always wanted to pick up.

Giving your undivided attention to your family is putting yourself as a servant to them. The Bible challenges men to do that. Lead your family by serving. Jesus said the greatest among you will be the servant. Jeff says that’s what God expects of men in the home.

Jeff’s new hobby will be riding across the desert of South Africa. Jim talks about meekness as strength under control. It is descriptive of Jesus in the Bible. Jim affirms that he hears meekness in Jeff’s description of the Battle of Mogadishu. Jim invites you, the men listening, to evaluate yourselves and consider the example of meekness Jeff Struecker has provided for all of us to learn from. Meekness comes from the Bible.

Jeff says a guy can’t get there on his own. You need God’s help to put yourself and your strength under control. Jim talks about the other men that Jeff approached for help to live a Godly family life and how those men helped him.

Jim is doing these interviews to help you, the listener, to glean and listen for what you can implement in your life for your benefit. Jim asks men like Jeff to take time out of their schedule to teach you, the listener, how you can improve. Jeff is serving you by sharing his experiences. You can support him by following his experiences on The Munga and support his fundraising effort for the Three Rangers Foundation by providing resources.

Jeff tells people as a pastor that you can’t be righteous in this culture without help inside and outside you. Outside you, you need a couple of guys you can rely on who know you well and know what your challenges are. Without them, you’re open to making some really big mistakes. You need one or two dudes who know you well enough that they can see before you go off the cliff and destroy your life. They can see it coming and they can step in. Inside you, you need supernatural help. It’s the boldest, toughest man who ever walked this earth and his name is Jesus. You will need to get up in the morning and know you will mess this up if Jesus doesn’t help you. You will need that heavenly help the next day and the next day for the rest of your life.

A guy that has the power of Jesus inside and a couple of really good buddies outside has no limit to the good that he can do. You are not strong enough without Jesus. You were built by the Creator from the beginning to lean on God and to have a couple of other men in your life helping you along the way.

Jim affirms that message. He thanks Jeff for coming on the show and for his willingness to share his stories, experiences, and insights.

Call to Action: To you listeners, thank you for listening to this show in its entirety. Grab a Bible and get into it! Mash that five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Share the episode link with others that it may benefit. If you have a sincere question about how we can improve our content, or you want to introduce us to other guests, please reach out to us at info@menbuildmen.com. Stay in the Word. Live for Jesus. Be a Man.

Marks of a Man podcast is a continued production of Men Build Men. Find out more at www.menbuildmen.com. Email any questions to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com.

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The Road to Unafraid: How the Army's Top Ranger Faced Fear And Found Courage Through "Black Hawk Down" And Beyond

Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood

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Host Jim Nicklas continues the interview with Jeff Struecker on raising his boys to be men, his service in the Army Rangers, the Battle of Mogadishu, and his calling as a chaplain and a pastor.

Resources:

Jeff Struecker on LinkedIn

JeffStruecker.com

Jeff Struecker’s Unbeatable podcast

Jeff Struecker’s Amazon Author page

The Battle of Mogadishu

Black Hawk Down

Dusty Davis

Fort Benning, Georgia

Columbus, Georgia

The Munga, the toughest race on earth

Three Rangers Foundation

Raising a Modern-day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood, by Robert Lewis

Bar Mitzvah

Walkabout

Jeff Bruckheimer

Ridley Scott

Mogadishu

Mohamed Farrah Aidid

Major General William Garrison

The Road to Unafraid: How the Army's Top Ranger Faced Fear and Found Courage through "Black Hawk Down" and Beyond

Todd Blackburn

Dominick Pilla

Mike Durant

Summary: One of Jeff Struecker’s sons got very serious about a young woman while he was a junior in high school. By the time he was a senior, it was obvious that she was the one. Jeff asked him if she was the one that God wants him to spend the rest of his life with. His son said yes. So Jeff told him to go buy a ring and propose to her. Right after graduation, he bought a ring, proposed, and they got married a year later at age 19. All of Jeff’s friends asked if Jeff was crazy! Jeff replied that his son was man enough to marry this woman and not to judge Jeff’s son by how their sons act. Jeff’s son has been carrying a man’s responsibility for years, at this point. He’s ready. 100 years ago, most men were married at 19 because society treated them like men. If a 29-year-old is not ready to get married, it’s society’s fault.

Jim contrasts Jeff’s life at age 18 with his son’s life at age 19 and how the Lord has worked in Jeff’s life. Jim affirms Jeff as having one of the marks of a Man in raising men in his family who were ready to start their families.

Jeff shares his experience of accepting Jesus Christ. Jeff didn’t grow up in a Christian home. Jeff never saw his parents read the Bible, pray, talk about Jesus, or go to Church. One night when he was 13, his neighbors came by and shared a message about Jesus with him for the first time. They explained the basics of the faith. After they left, Jeff was lying in bed and it was like the light coming on. Everything they said just clicked and made sense. Jeff got out of bed, knelt, prayed, and asked Jesus to change him. There was something really different about Jeff the next day. He got up on Sunday and walked to church and started attending pretty regularly. He learned what it looked like to follow Jesus by stumbling and through trial and error.

Jeff joined the army, got married a couple of years after joining the Army, and realized he needed to learn how to lead a family spiritually. He started getting serious about reading the Word, he plugged into a church, and he got baptized. He learned about being a disciple. He was a Sergeant in the Ranger Regiment when he started to figure out what it looked like to walk with Jesus. He has been continuing to walk with Jesus and to help other men to walk with Jesus.

Jeff joined the Rangers when he was 18 in 1987 and retired in 2011. Jeff shares his advice on how to become an Army Ranger. Jeff knew he needed discipline and a challenge so he asked the recruiter what was the toughest job in the Army. The recruiter pointed Jeff to the Rangers. Jeff joined in high school and a couple of months after graduation, he went to basic training and infantry training back-to-back in Fort Benning Georgia. Then he went through the Army’s Airborne Course at Fort Benning. Right after the Airborne Course, Jeff went to the Ranger Regiment Assessment and Selection Program, also at Fort Benning. The program is designed to see if you are smart enough, tough enough, and mentally and psychologically prepared to be a Ranger. They look into your background, family, finances, and everything. They’re about to give you unprecedented resources and missions that are highly important to the future of our country. There s a huge attrition rate. More than 60% of the guys who start do not finish. Jeff made it through the program and was assigned to the Rangers in Fort Benning. They have battalions on the West Coast and the East Coast, as well as at Fort Benning, which is their headquarters. Jeff started there as a private and spent the next ten years there. He left as a platoon sergeant, ten years later. In those years jeff took part in the 1989 invasion of Panama, Desert Storm in Kuwait in 1991, and was one of the sergeants on the ground leading the Humvees. Jeff loves Jesus, he loves America, and he loves being a Ranger. Those three things never conflicted. Although Jeff expected to remain on active duty, God put him on a path to ministry.

The movie Black Hawk Down, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Ridley Scott, is based on the book Black Hawk Down. The book is very accurate. As far as major motion pictures go, the movie did a good job of presenting the firefight. Eighteen hours of fighting was condensed to two and a half hours of movie. In the end, instead of drawing a political conclusion, they let the viewer decide what to think. Jeff says the actor portraying him made it as realistic as possible. Jeff didn’t want the movie to be made, but he believes they couldn’t have done a better job of it. Jeff explains the events behind the movie starting with drought and famine in several countries, most notably, Somalia. A warlord in Mogadishu, Mohamed Farrah Aidid, targeted and killed UN forces distributing food, blew up U.S. supply convoys, shot UN workers, shot down UN helicopters protecting the food, and did a lot of damage in the Spring and Summer of 1993. In June of ’93 Aidid killed a huge contingent of UN workers from Pakistan while they were handing out food to his people. That’s what prompted the UN Security Council to target Aidid. It was a Kill or Capture mission. The Army Rangers were notified in late June of ’93 that they were going over there to take down Aidid and his top-ranking leaders. A planned six-week mission turned into months. Jeff explains how it went wrong, culminating in an unprecedented daylight raid. In an 18-hour firefight, five of the six troop-carrying Blackhawk got shot down that night. Two crashed in the city, the others were able to get back to the bases in UN territory. Everyone Jeff was with felt like they were going to die in the next few minutes. The mission became getting to the Blackhawks and getting the crews alive back to the base. That’s what turned the mission into an 18-hour firefight. Jeff wrote about this mission in his book, The Road to Unafraid. Jeff’s job was to lead the Humvees through the city streets. He took wounded soldiers out of the city in the middle of the shooting.

Jeff had been on site for a few minutes when he was dispatched to get Todd Blackburn, a critically wounded Ranger, and take him to get medical attention, and then come back for the rest of the force that went in by helicopter. On the way back, he drove through an intense gunfight, and Dominick Pilla was shot and killed right behind him. Pilla was the first soldier killed in action in the operation. Jeff still had to make it back to the base. When he did, he learned that two helicopters had gone down in the city. Jeff went to Michael Durant’s crash site to find anyone left alive there. On the way out, Jeff’s Humvee was shot multiple times again. He grabbed more Rangers from his unit and took them back to the base. He got ready to roll out a third time and realized that going out in unarmored Humvees was too dangerous. They asked for UN help. Pakistanis came with tanks. Malaysians came with armored personnel carriers. At about 11:00 p.m. they rolled back out. Jeff’s men stayed on the same two Humvees all night long until they made it back to the base at 9:30 a.m. The Somalis kept shooting and never ran out of ammo. The Rangers were resolved not to leave anyone behind. Special operators are committed to the mission and each other. Jeff was concerned he was going to get everyone in his command killed. He also knew that those at the crash site needed to be rescued. Jeff had to dig deep to find what it took to go back out. That was the moment where his faith made all the difference. When he was 100% certain that he was going to die, he just put it all in God’s hands. He prayed and told God that if that was the night, he was ready to go. That gave him a sense of peace with no words to describe it. All he could do was go back out for his men. When he got back to the base, all his men were lined up to talk to him. When they had heard him over the radio, they had heard his voice was totally calm while everybody else was freaking out. They knew he had something besides their Ranger training that kept him at peace. They all wanted to have that peace. The next day he started to tell his buddies about Jesus. Jeff had an overwhelming sense that God wanted him to transition and do something different. That’s what set him on the path to becoming an Army chaplain, and now, pastor of a church right outside the same Rangers where he served when he was 18 years old.

Jim affirms that Jeff had been given peace, not of this world, and everyone could see it. That is a great indication of what a Christian is supposed to be. Let your light shine so that people may see you and give praise to God in heaven above.

Call to Action: Thank you for listening to this show in its entirety. Mash that five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Share the episode link with others that it may benefit. If you want to leave a productive comment that can help others, please do so. If you have a sincere question about how we can improve our content, or you want to introduce us to other guests, please reach out to us at info@menbuildmen.com.

Marks of a Man podcast is a continued production of Men Build Men. Find out more at www.menbuildmen.com. Email any questions to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com.

See our Website: MenBuildMen.com
Email: Info@MenBuildMen.com

Men Build Men on Facebook

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Resources:

Jeff Struecker on LinkedIn

JeffStruecker.com

Jeff Struecker’s Unbeatable podcast

Jeff Struecker’s Amazon Author page

The Battle of Mogadishu

Black Hawk Down

Dusty Davis

Fort Benning, Georgia

Columbus, Georgia

The Munga, the toughest race on earth

Three Rangers Foundation

Raising a Modern-day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood, by Robert Lewis

Bar Mitzvah

Summary: Jeff Struecker’s parents divorced when he was young; he and his mother moved a lot for her work, sometimes two or three times in a school year. He went to four high schools in three states and then joined the Army, spending the next ten years in Fort Benning, Georgia. Jeff has spent the last 30 years between Fort Benning, and Columbus, Georgia, a neighboring community.

Jeff’s links are listed in the resources. Jeff’s podcast, Unbeatable, tells stories of guys and gals that have gone through crazily difficult experiences. When they got knocked down, they got back up, determined not to let life beat them. They figured out a way to handle their circumstances. Jeff has published multiple books available on Amazon and other outlets.

Jeff is preparing to ride in The Munga, the toughest race on earth, a 1,000K mountain bike race through the South African desert. Jeff is using it to raise funds for and bring awareness to the Three Rangers Foundation, a charity helping veterans transition from the military to civilian life. His goal is to raise $50K for the Three Rangers Foundation. Please donate through Jeff’s website.

The Munga takes place in the hottest part of the year in South Africa. Temperatures may run up to 130 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s five days with no sleep and no support. You’re on your own across the desert. Everyone in the racing community that Jeff has talked to says there is no question it’s the world’s toughest race. Jeff signed up in January and has been training hard for it. Jeff learned recently that no one else from the U.S. has signed up. The race is a few weeks away at the end of November.

There are eight or nine water stops. Jeff compares this experience to long-distance and extreme-condition events he has done on foot with a heavy backpack. He has never gone this kind of distance on a bike. He has spent years in some of the hottest deserts in the world. Water is his biggest concern. You have to know what you’re doing or you will get yourself in trouble. Jeff has sought advice and he has a plan for enough water to bring him to the finish line. The race is GPS-oriented. If you leave the course, you retrace your steps to the point where you left it. Every rider will have a GPS beacon. When the race kicks off, you will be able to trace Jeff’s progress on the course on his website in real-time, from November 30th to December 5th. Jim asks listeners to donate to this fundraiser for the Three Rangers Foundation on Jeff’s website.

Jeff lived most of his childhood much below the poverty line. His father was absent. In Jeff’s senior year of high school, a couple of months before graduation, Jeff realized the Army would be a quick way out of the small midwestern farming town he lived in at the time. What steered him toward the Rangers was his search for a challenge and some discipline. Because of his path in high school, he recognized that if he didn’t turn himself around, he was going to be either in jail or dead. The Army Rangers provided him with all the things he was looking for. As far as the discipline and the challenge go, it gave him a whole lot more than he expected! Jeff says that every teenage boy has to figure out what it means to be a man. He is convinced that in the United States, we do not do a good job of helping boys figure out what it means to b a man. There are many bad definitions of manhood and boys have to figure it out. Jeff entered the military with no idea what it meant to be a man. He found mentors in the military who taught him what manhood is.

Jim talks about his organization MenBuildMen.com. Men building boys into men is imperative. Jim asks Jeff how he transitioned from being a boy with no father to a father with a houseful of children. Jeff says he started with a blank slate. When he married his high school sweetheart, he knew he wanted to have children. They’ve been married for almost 32 years and had five children. Three sons came first and then two daughters. Jeff wants the listeners to know he made a lot of mistakes along the way. Jeff continually prayed for God to take the best he could do and make up the difference. Jeff says the most important responsibility a Dad has is to be present, not just being there but interacting with them, being all the way at home so the family knows that they’ve got your full attention. Jeff says to give the same amount of energy to your family that you give to your job. When Jeff’s boys started becoming teens, Jeff realized he had to teach them to turn into men. He remembered a book he had read by Robert Lewis, when the boys were toddlers, Raising a Modern-day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood. The book asks, what does your family expect out of the men in your family? What is the rite of passage that lets a boy know he’s a man? Jeff started studying how fathers in other cultures teach their boys to be men, and he found some countries do it much better than we do in the United States. He notes the Bar Mitzvah of Jewish culture and the aboriginal walkabout of Australia. Native American tribes and African tribes all have a challenge that a boy goes through. When he comes back from the challenge, the whole village recognizes him as a man.

Jeff started putting an idea into place for teaching his boys. He laid out a different challenge for each of his sons, according to his personality. He told each one that he would work through this challenge and when he had completed it, everyone in the family would recognize him as a man. He would have a man’s authority and a man’s responsibilities. If he doesn’t act like a man, he will be treated as a man for punishment and he won’t like it. The grace period of boyhood would be over. Jeff told them a man doesn’t have a curfew; but when they went out, they were to say what time they would be home, and Dad would wait up for them. As a man, they were expected not to be late. His sons lived up to that as long as they lived at home. One showed up three minutes late once, and he took responsibility for it. When the rite of passage was done for each son, Jeff gave him a weapon that fit his personality. Jeff asked each son to keep it and when he moved out, to display it on the wall of his home as a symbol that he is a man and a man is responsible to protect his home and everybody God has placed inside it. Jeff says he had sons at 16 and 17 years old that had taken more responsibility and acted more like a man than people in their 30s. They thrived, hearing from their father, “That’s it, you’re a man.”

Jim affirms Jeff for being involved in his sons’ lives to know what they individually needed, and how to treat a teenager to lead him to be a man with authority and responsibility. Young men want to handle the responsibility of being a man. Our society allows boys to stretch out too long the process of becoming a man. Our society tolerates a 27-year-old boy who wants a man’s authority without a man’s responsibilities. In Jeff’s house, after their rite of passage, they were treated like a man and all that goes with it, including a man’s responsibilities.

Marks of a Man podcast is a continued production of Men Build Men. Email any questions about the show to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com. Find out more at www.menbuildmen.com.

See our Website: MenBuildMen.com
Email: Info@MenBuildMen.com

Men Build Men on Facebook

Jim Nicklas on Instagram

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Host Jim Nicklas tells the story of his recent Wyoming mule deer hunt with his brother-in-law, Andy Riddle, and outfitter, Dan Dody.

Resources:

Dan.Dody on Instagram

Diamond Ranch Outfitters

Andrew Riddle, MD at Georgia Bone and Joint Surgeons

Christensen Arms

6.5mm Creedmoor

Nightforce scope

Swarovski binoculars

Zoom

Riverside.fm

Summary: Andy Riddle had been antelope hunting and he wanted to go on a mule deer hunt. He invited his brother-in-law Jim Nicklas, to go with him. They applied for their tags and got drawn. Everything was on target.

Andy and Jim departed from Atlanta, arrived at Denver airport, and rented a truck from Alamo. They planned to drive north through Fort Collins and stop at Laramie to pick up supplies. Their destination was just outside McFadden. They got off the interstate onto County Road 13. They met their outfitter, Dan Dody, with his truck on the side of the road. Following Dan’s white truck through a cattle guard, they took off down a gravel road and traveled through the small town of McFadden, basically an old-school gas and oil exploration company. There were jack-up rigs along the way pumping oil into a storage tank. A coyote ran across the road in front of them. Jim wanted to shoot it but they didn’t stop. Before long, they saw a second coyote, and Jim said this was going to be a good hunt.

They crossed a couple more cattle guards to get to Dan’s ranch. The house had a tall flagpole with a large American flag flying in the breeze. In the house, they made introductions, petted the dogs, and organized their gear. Jim tells of Dan’s guns. Jim invites you to email him at Info@menbuildmen.com if he doesn’t talk about the guns correctly. Jim, Andy, and others are building the website www.menbuildmen.com and Jim invites you to look at it. Also, visit them on Instagram @menbuildmen. Dan brings out the guns and suggests a Christensen Arms and a 6.5mm Creedmoor with a Nightforce scope. They took the guns behind the house for some target shooting at wood cutouts. They practiced and sighted the guns at 200 and 300 yards and felt good about their shooting prospects.

They went to dinner, then to bed. After breakfast, Jim sent out his daily Bible verse email, prayed over the day, asking the Lord to bless their time, and got ready to hunt. The objective was to go to the western part of the ranch to the breaks, ditches, draws, and couloirs. They were in the high Wyoming desert, which was a new experience for Jim. They got in the truck and drove out. Along the way, they stopped for a break, and immediately saw a buck! It was close, so they decided to let it go its way and they would hunt it later. They drove in another direction and saw a lot of sage and rocks. Jim was anxious to get back to that buck. He was scheduled to take the first shot. They worked their way through some of the breaks and didn’t see anything. They moved close to where they anticipated the buck would be bedded down.

As they walked to the edge of a ravine, Dan took a couple of steps, looked through binoculars, and took a couple more steps. Finally, Dan said he saw one. The hunt was on! They belly-crawled toward the edge. Jim tried to control his breath; his heart was racing. As they approached the lip of the ravine, they saw the deer had the sun behind him and would be able to see them before they were in place to shoot. Jim rolled onto his back, but then rolled into position, and the deer didn’t see him. The buck started walking with another deer along the ravine. Jim thought he had a shot, but Dan said the muzzle would shoot into the dirt. So they let the buck keep moving. Dan was range-finding it and at about 260 yards, Dan said to shoot. Jim shot it just in the back of its lungs. The deer mule kicked and ran off. All three of them saw a solid hit. Jim chambered a second cartridge but couldn’t get a clear shot. The deer got up to the top of the ravine when Jim fired at 260 yards just as the buck was clearing the ravine. The deer bounded off into the next ravine or draw. They started to track it by following the blood trail. A smaller 3x2 buck showed up. They expected Jim’s buck to be behind a sagebrush. Breathing heavy, with his heart racing, Jim held his crosshairs on the small buck when Dan whispered, “There he is!” Jim turned and saw his 4x4 buck walking down the couloir to a huge expanse. Dan glassed him at 480 to 520 yards. It was too long to shoot. They start to walk after the buck down the draw. Dan glassed him again at 700 yards. Dan said he wouldn’t be able to make that shot. The 4x4 buck hopped a fence onto someone else’s property. Jim was distraught. The blood trail had thinned out. Jim had expected to find the buck dead but it was still going strong and walked out of binocular range.

Dan had called the adjacent neighbor and gotten permission to continue the hunt on their property. The neighbor said to finish what they started, so it was on. The blood trail had stopped and Jim asked his surgeon brother-in-law, Andy, why it would have stopped. They walked the 8oo yards to where they had last seen the animal. Dan and Jim went in one direction. Andy went another way and found a track.

It had not rained in the area for 30 days, until the day Jim and Andy arrived. As they drove up through Laramie, a tremendous storm hit. The ground was still wet the next day, the day of the hunt. They were able to follow the animal’s tracks. The three of them working together, one stopping at a track and the others spreading out to find the next track, tracked the deer to a river. Near the river, there were cattle tracks everywhere but they could still find the buck tracks. Jim was in the lead. The tracks led right to an oxbow bend in the river. Dan found a drop of blood near the tracks. Another 30 yards around the oxbow, they found another track and another drop of blood. Going upstream, the river was getting shallow. At the most shallow part, the tracks stopped and Jim proposed that the deer crossed the river at the shallow part. Jim started wading through seven inches of water. A part of the bank jutted out and as Jim crossed it, he found himself staring through his binoculars face-to-face with the wounded 4x4 buck bedded down in the shrub cottonwoods. He pulled up the rifle and shot the buck at four or five yards. Then he loaded another cartridge and shot again. The deer bounded away and crashed through the cottonwoods. Andy and Dan caught up to Jim where he took the shots, to be safe. They found more blood and some tissue and tracked the animal through the cottonwoods. As they came out through the shrubs, after a few yards, Dan spotted the animal on the ground. The second shot had gone through the lungs. As a team, they had harvested this big buck. It was a wonderful experience working as a team. Jim says there’s no way he could have done it by himself. Andy and Dan had their eyes down, tracking. Jim had his eyes up, ready to shoot, but without the trackers, he wouldn’t have been prepared to shoot. It was an incredible experience. They field-dressed the buck there and harvested the heart to eat.

Jim and Andy made some videos they hope to post on Men Build Men, to mentor young men and teach them skills. Jim says, “We want boys to grow up to be men. We want males that are not acting as men to behave as men. … Men build others into men. We affirm each other. We support each other. We encourage one another: We transfer our skills and traits and things to teach and instruct others. … All the other skills of Dan and my brother-in-law, they were there; helped me succeed. Not a solo effort; total team.”

It was a big animal and it took everything Jim had to drag him for a while. Then his brother-in-law helped.

It was a great story and adventure. You can see some of the pictures on Instagram @MenBuildMen and @jimnicklas_live323. Jim says he hopes you enjoyed this story and, “If you’ve got some things that I need to change and/or correct; I need to tighten up on, as I indicated, you guys are always welcome to email me: info@menbuildmen.com. You can direct message me on social media platforms.”

Call to Action: You are welcomed and invited to be involved in the Men Build Men organization in Cartersville, Georgia, and www.menbuildmen.com. Once a month, we have a sports outreach where we play the most competitive ball that we can. The group is B4: Boys, Bible, Burgers, and Balls. We’re trying to make a difference, mentoring boys into men.

If you’ve got some men it would be productive for me to interview to share their experiences, insights, and skills with others, please reach out to me. I’ll be glad to interview them in person, or by Riverside. There are no sponsorships. I’m not trying to monetize this. I’m about the Bible. I believe the Bible. I believe it’s the best book ever written. I stand for the Bible. I want to live it. I pray over it daily and I want other guys to know it, too. And so that’s what I’m about. I’m a believer in Jesus and I believe that Jesus is the most masculine man that ever walked the face of the earth. He sets the example for us to follow. He’s built me up. He strengthens me with the Holy Spirit living inside of me. That’s who I am. That’s what I’m about. I hope you guys are, too. I’m always available for you guys who have questions and I try to encourage you. Until next time, let’s be strong. Let’s follow Jesus. And let’s be about it, man. Let’s be the Mark of a Man.

Email any questions about the show to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com.

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Call to Action: LIsteners, reach out and connect to Hunter Horton to learn and sharpen each other as professionals and discuss how to live out our faith, what the Bible says, or any life questions you would have. We want to continue in our lives to emulate the life of Jesus, the ultimate Man. Email any questions about the show to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com.

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West Georgia Campus Outreach

HunterHorton@Comcast.net

Hunter Horton on Facebook: Hunter.Horton.94

Hunter Horton on Instagram: Hunter_Horton

Hunter Horton on LinkedIn: Hunter Horton

Hunter cell: (770) 633-4043

Hunter Horton was born and raised by his parents, along with a younger brother, in Cartersville Georgia. Hunter lives in Cartersville with his wife and two sons and a third son is on the way.

Hunter attended a church youth group. In seventh grade, he went on a youth trip with his friends and all of them were “giving their life to the Lord” so Hunter did, too. He thought he was saved from that point on, but now he sees that he wasn’t. In middle school and high school, Hunter walked a path of destruction, drinking, and having unhealthy relationships. After surgeries for sports injuries, he got addicted to pain pills and sold narcotics.

Hunter talks about the solid upbringing in faith and church attendance that his parents gave him. But in eighth grade, he got into a relationship and started partaking in unhealthy things that were not honoring God. Looking back, he had no conviction of faith. He had just said the words at a youth camp, following his friends.

In 11th grade, Hunter suffered a broken kneecap playing in the first baseball game of the year and had surgery for it. It crushed him. Right after the surgery, Hunter got addicted to pain pills. After a year of physical recovery, Hunter went back to play baseball in his senior year. Over four years, he had elbow surgery, four knee surgeries, and ankle reconstruction.

When Hunter was in an unhealthy relationship starting in eighth grade, he stayed away from home as much as possible. He hid his relationship from his parents. If his parents had found out, he says he would have been embarrassed, but that exposure would have corrected his behavior quickly.

Hunter shares how his addiction to pain pills occurred. He had broken up from his relationship, he had had multiple sports injuries, preventing him from fulfilling his childhood dream of a sports career, and pain pills gave him a momentary escape from reality.

After high school, Hunter received a full baseball scholarship from Shorter University in Rome, Georgia. In the first month of Fall practice in 2011, Hunter blew out his other kneecap.

When Hunter was injured, he told his coach that with his history of surgeries, he couldn’t play anymore. Hunter finished the school year and then transferred to Georgia Highlands and lived at home. After two years, he got an associate’s degree and transferred to West Georgia.

Hunter talks about getting saved. When he transferred from Shorter to Georgia Highlands, a friend of his came over and invited him to a Campus Outreach event through Georgetown College in Kentucky. There he heard the gospel again. As Hunter was sitting in church, a pastor shared Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.” (KJV) Until then, Hunter had thought that if his good works outweighed his bad works, he was good to go. When he heard that scripture and remembered Romans 5:8 “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (KJV), in the blink of an eye, Hunter felt the Lord pluck him out of darkness and place him into the light. That changed his entire perspective on life.

Hunter found that West Georgia had a Campus Outreach, the same program that his friend had invited him to in Kentucky. Hunter transferred to West Georgia. He found a great ministry and a lot of friends that he still has. He entered the business administration program for a bachelor’s degree. He was in that program for two years and it was pivotal in setting him up for his career.

Hunter tells of his father’s history as a sales executive for a company that erected steel structures for billboards, and how he started a company for that. Hunter tells how he decided to go into sales after hearing a guest lecturer at college speak about a career in sales. He liked the billboard business but instead of selling steel like his father, he chose to get into the ad space side of the business.

Hunter tells how he started selling his pain pills in college. A player approached him who knew somebody who would buy them at a price per pill. He did this for a few months, raising the price when he was selling out. He cared more about how much he could get per pill than he did about taking the pills. Finally, his doctor refused to prescribe more. He walked away from selling and that was about the time he moved back home with his parents. Hunter feels the Lord had already started to work in his life and remove the incentive for him to be selling pills.

Hunter thinks that his “sales” experience with the pills may have helped him to succeed in sales. As Hunter was considering a sales career, he discussed it with his mom and dad. After he had gotten saved, he started to appreciate who they were and what they did for him. His Heavenly Father’s influence on him had a huge impact on his relationship with his parents.

Hunter graduated in May 2016 and took a job at Southwire in Carrollton. That summer, Hunter’s dad passed away. Hunter moved back home again to help his mom run the several businesses his dad had left behind. After six months, he wanted to go back to Carrollton, but the opportunity was gone. His dad’s friend Josh, in Cartersville, who ran a billboard company, renamed his company Horton Outdoor in honor of Hunter’s father and allowed Hunter to get into adspace sales in the billboard industry with him.

Hunter’s first job at Horton Outdoor was Account Executive, cold-calling on customers. Hunter describes the subliminal effect of billboards. McDonald’s does 98% of its advertising on billboards. You know when the McRib is back because you see it on a billboard.

Hunter tells how “playing dumb” as a new sales executive got him in the door with decision-makers at first. When he had more experience, he used a hook to capture attention, asking the business owner if their advertising dollars were providing the results they had expected. Then he asked for a little bit of time to show how he could help them. He wanted to get the owner to sit with him and see eye-to-eye. Hunter says sales is about relationships, not products or services.

The biggest thing that helped Hunter right out of the gate was being told “No.” On his first day of cold-calling, he got told “No,” every time. That night he was wondering if that was how he wanted to spend his life. Being told “No” is not fun, but it made him pivot and think. Over time, that has helped in many ways besides sales, including his relationships. Hunter believes being told “No” helps us mentally in a way that the Lord uses for good. we need to be told “No” way more often. When Hunter’s parents had told him “No,” he would disobey and do it anyway. It doesn’t work that way in the “real world”!

Jim and Hunter unpack the “real world” to mean accepting adult responsibility for your actions and life. When you become a man, things affect you differently than when you’re a boy.

After getting told “No” all day, the next morning, he decided that he would do this job for three months, the best that he could, getting after it as hard as he could, calling on as many people as he could, and see if he could make a career of it. If not, he would pivot to do something else. With persistence and discipline, slowly but surely, there were a lot more yeses than there were noes. Sales is a numbers game. Every person can’t tell you “No.”

Early on in his career, Hunter wanted to do everything “Hunter’s way.” It wasn’t working for him, so he called on a list of men his father had known; business partners, customers, and as many people in the billboard space that could advise him with their decades of experience. After a week or two of talking to all his dad’s associates, Hunter felt ready to go forward.

Hunter recalls two traits that his new mentors exemplified. They shared instructions and set an example. Every one of them shared instructions in humility, admitting where they had gotten it wrong. Every one of them listened to Hunter and asked him questions to understand his need.

Hunter talks about meeting his wife right after his dad passed away. They started as friends and got into a relationship at the time Hunter got into the billboard industry. She encouraged him, listened to him, and gave him advice that he didn’t want to hear at times. She was the most helpful thing in Hunter’s life as he was learning more about what it meant to be a Christian, to mourn and grieve the loss of his father, and to face his responsibilities. They weren’t married yet but she was a huge helper to him. In the summer of 2017, Hunter proposed to her and they got married in January 2018. Their third child is expected in January along with their fifth anniversary. She provides the platform for Hunter to be able to go out and do his work well.

Jim acknowledges being a Godly stay-at-home mother as the most difficult job in the world and as the hardest-working humans that have walked the planet.

Hunter shares how he developed resilience and did not quit. He decided early that he wanted experience to be his teacher. He learned to sell through cold-calling and sending hand-written letters to businesspeople. Jim remarks that hand-written letters are missing from today’s society. Hunter knew that to get the success that other people weren’t getting, he need to do things that other people weren’t doing. He shares some examples of tactics he used to make contact with business owners.

Jim comments on Hunter’s creativity and determination to devise and try new methodologies and asks how that confidence applied to his marriage and parenting.

Hunter quickly realized in marriage and as a father that he had a lot of room to grow. He got married after about a year in the industry and he had seen a lot of success from the techniques he was using. His ego told him he had marriage figured out, too. After several arguments early in his marriage, he realized he had to do something different for it to work. It was the same for parenting. He knew he was wrong in his first approach and he credits conviction from the Lord for setting a new direction for him. Listening to his wife, hearing God’s word, spending time in prayer, and listening to people of faith helped Hunter. He prays all the time that the Lord would convict him and bring him to his knees so that he can be a better husband and father.

The biggest development in Hunter’s career came in October of 2021 when his boss sold the company to Trailhead Media. Hunter had to decide if he was going to stay with the larger company and go from an inventory of 600 billboards to 5,000 billboards, including travel to the Carolinas. It would have meant more money and less time at home. He chose to be a Godly husband and father. He decided to stay at home with his family, take a leap of faith, and start a business. He reveals the conversations he had with his wife about it. She told him over and over that she trusts him and knows he will make the right decision. He spent a lot of time in prayer and seeking wise counsel. Hunter talked to Jim about it and other friends and businessmen. The more conversations he had, and even feeling that the Lord would support him in either decision, he realized that this was the time of his life when he would have the best opportunity to start a business. It’s going on a year, and Hunter says it’s going well.

Hunter has learned some lessons in entrepreneurship. The hardest thing has been turning from a sales executive to running a business. He quickly realized that there was so much more to a business than he ever imagined. For the first couple of months, all he did was learn. He wanted to be out making money, but he couldn’t do that effectively or successfully until he learned the key parts of running a business. The paperwork is hard, but what has been easy is the selling he has been taught to do over the previous five years. His growth and development along the way have prepared him for where he is now.

Hunter encourages the listeners who are salesmen to be disciplined and stay persistent. Stay true to who you are and do the same thing over and over until you get to the point where you may have to change it. Instead of giving up at the first hard thing, give yourself a commitment to do it as hard as you can for three months to see if you succeed. You’ll be able to tell in that time if you’re cut out for this or need to pivot to a different career.

Jim directs the conversation to the family. Hunter talks about discipline, Growing up, Hunter was spanked and slapped a lot because his behavior was incorrect. He learned what was wrong and right. Now, Hunter does not see many fathers discipline their children. He doesn’t see nearly as many fathers present in their families as when he grew up. That’s the biggest decline he has seen and he sees that sets up children for failure.

Jim agrees that the presence of a man changes the behavior of a boy.

In the time leading up to getting engaged, and then married, Hunter spent a lot of time thinking back on how his father was as a husband, and he read a lot of scripture on what it is to be a husband. Anytime today that Hunter has any questions about what it means to be a Godly husband, he goes to the scriptures. He remembers how his dad led his mom in a Godly way. He talked with other men who are examples.

Jim and Hunter discuss what methodologies they saw in their dads that they affirm for their work as husbands. Hunter noticed that his father and mother always communicated well with each other. Applying it to his marriage, Hunter will often ask his wife what is he doing well in their marriage and what is he doing poorly; what are some ways in which he can be a better husband and a better father; and ways in which he can grow in who he is. He feels that if he can ask questions to open up communications in their marriage, they will thrive. He says that husbands and wives don’t communicate enough.

Jim affirms Hunter’s practice of asking his wife what he does well in their marriage, so he can continue to honor his wife with those things. Jim asks Hunter to share one or two things he is doing well in his marriage that he would like to pass on to the audience.

Hunter talks about providing, not just financially so his wife can stay home with their children, but providing conversations at the dinner table, prayer together before bed, times of entertainment and exercise, and different things to do as a family. He is always asking himself how the family can intentionally interact with one another to strengthen their marriage and family. It can be going out to eat, playing at the playground, playing tag in the yard, and spending time together in prayer. Hunter intentionally spends one-on-one time with his boys. His older son can have a conversation with him and that has allowed Hunter to have a better understanding of how his son views the family and the world.

Hunter tells how his faith in the Bible affects the way he is as a husband and father. The biggest way is having a Godly community around the couple and family, his faith in Jesus Christ, and what He has done in Hunter’s life. Godly community influences their marriage and family. Prayer, reading God’s word, and Bible studies are very helpful, but surrounding yourselves with Godly people who can pray over you and encourage you is the best influence.

Hunter suggests how listeners can begin some of the disciplines he practices. If you are hesitant to commit to something time-consuming, start by singing worship music alone in your car. That discipline, over time, will flow into other spiritual disciplines.

Hunter would want people to remember what marks him as a man by the way he loves his wife and boys. He wants people to say Hunter Horton was a Godly husband and a Godly father. Look at his marriage and look at his boys. He also wants to be marked as someone who is humble and doesn’t want any credit but can do much for the Kingdom of God and the community he lives in without any recognition or praise. He admits that’s his biggest struggle so he is working on it. He credits all his success to God.

Jim thanks Hunter for making himself transparent on this podcast and sharing his inspiring example.

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Bob Davidson was born and raised north of Quebec, Montreal, Canada in a family of five children. He is of the fourth generation of his family in the area. His town had 700 people and he was raised in a rural area. Both sets of grandparents lived in the same community. Bob’s grandfathers were influencers in his life.

Bob’s parents divorced when he was eight. Bob doesn’t have good memories of his parents. Bob’s mother left before the divorce and he didn’t hear from her again until just before he got married. Bob’s father remarried and his stepmother was very good to him. Bob tells about the various places his family moved to in Canada before moving to the U.S. When Bob was 15, his father moved to Atlanta, Georgia to help Bob’s uncle manage his restaurant bars. The family members who moved were Bob’s father, stepmother, step-sister, Bob, and his older sister.

Bob had been playing junior hockey at age 15 when his family moved to Atlanta the same year the Flames left and went to Alberta. He traveled all over the Southeast to play amateur hockey. His team won a couple of championships. He met his future brother-in-law playing hockey. They became best friends. They married each other’s sisters.

Bob shares details of his history in hockey, playing center and right wing. Bob loved the fights. The championship teams Bob was on were “Beer League,” without trophies. Bob played until he was 31, at the time his first child came.

In high school, Bob worked in his uncle’s restaurants. A friend of his uncle’s had an electrical contracting business. Bob started working for him as well as for his uncle. After three or four years, Bob chose to go into the electrical field and worked for that company for a couple of years. Bob went to another contractor and stayed with him for 16 years.

Bob’s relationship with his father improved after Bob’s high school graduation. Growing up with parents who drank every day, Bob also was a drinker. For years, he drank a lot and drank himself to sleep every night.

Jim takes a minute to publicly affirm Bob for courageously sharing his history of drinking with the listeners.

Bob drank half of his life away, and in part, it cost him a business he was running with a good friend.

Bob was interested in science and math and that influenced him to train as an electrician. Bob addresses the younger listener on how to enter the electrical trade. You can go the union route and become a journeyman in four or five years, earning a full-time wage as you do. You can also be trained on the job working for a company. The pay is good.

College is a good choice for some but the trades are good paths to a good income. Electricity and the other trades are not going away. Power is going to be in demand.

Bob talks about his journey working for a contractor. He started as a cord man and “box nailer upper.” Once he demonstrated his ability, he was given more tasks, such as pulling wire and making taps. He built electrical panels, wired up air conditioners, and more. He was put on a task for four months and when he became skilled at that task they gave him a new task for four months. He worked for two years before anyone taught him how electricity worked. Then he learned things like troubleshooting three-way switches and electrical issues.

Bob shifted to full-time electrical work after high school at about age 20. At that time, he was making $4.25 an hour. Now a journeyman makes about $30.00 an hour.

Bob tells about a mistake he made swapping metal halide lights for fluorescent lights on outside wall lighting. One side didn’t work, and he tested it hot. He was kneeling in wet grass and the back of his hand touched a live wire with 480 volts. It knocked him out. When he woke up, he turned off the power, put the cover back on, and left. Every muscle in his body hurt for about six weeks as if he had just done a workout.

Another time, Bob was reaching up into a ceiling to replace fluorescent lights. He had turned off the light switch but not the power. The 120-volt relays were hot. His pliers hit power. He was on a 12-foot ladder and was thrown backward. He grabbed the ceiling grid. He estimates he tore out about 500 square feet of ceiling tile on his way down but he landed gently, like sitting in a chair. Jim wishes he had seen that.

After both events, Bob wondered how he was still alive. He was a new believer at the time and he was very thankful to be able to walk away from them. He feels that God preserved him to be here for his son.

There was a point in Bob’s life that no matter how much he drank, he stopped getting drunk. He knew something was wrong. Bob’s boss was a believer. On New Year’s Day of 2000, Bob called him and asked for directions to the church. Bob started attending church. He got saved on February 13th.

Bob worked for his boss for 14 years before being influenced to reach out to Jesus. Bob had hunted with his boss and other men and he noticed that none of them were “partying.” Bob appreciated how the men interacted with each other. In 16 years of working for his boss, Bob saw him angry only one time. In the years since Bob has been saved, he grew to learn why his boss was so even-tempered.

When Bob was saved, his son was five years old. His relationship with his wife was one reason Bob felt he needed to straighten out. He also wanted to show his son a better way than his father had shown him.

After being saved, Bob reconciled himself with two men with whom he had had serious issues. God put them in his path. He apologized and they were receptive. When Bob has an issue with someone now, he is able to restrain his emotion and behavior so it doesn’t turn into a big issue. Jim quotes 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (KJV). The Holy Spirit grants you the power to restrain yourself from fighting.

Any of the trades, electrician, instrument electrician, plumber, HVAC, have the potential for a good living. About five years ago, Bob left the industry, worn out after several surgeries.

One good thing Bob remembers about his father is that he never turned anyone away. He brought men home for a meal, a hot shower, and a place to sleep if they needed it. On the other hand, his father didn’t show restraint or self-control when he was angry and he beat his children when angry.

Bob discusses how he disciplined his son for disrespect. Jim talks about how we restrain ourselves. The Holy Spirit in our lives empowers us to act as God wants us to act.

Bob would like to have spent more time with his son as he grew. Jim says that as a father, sacrificing for your children means not doing what you want to do but investing time with your children. Bob advises pouring into your children as much as possible and giving them everything they need to succeed. He believes he and his wife did that as much as possible with their son. His son is a very successful adult.

Bob talks about preparing his son to be an independent adult and dealing with teenage tantrums. Children need to be taught there are consequences to what they do and say. Bob had his faults as a father. He was not perfect. His son has seen his good and bad sides. Jim talks about how God lifts us from our problems.

Bob talks about spending time with adult children, as often as possible. Make time for things that are important to you, especially family.

If you don’t have God in your life, Jim and Bob would encourage you to get God in your life. He has been pursuing you.

Did Bob’s job allow him enough time with his family? Time is more important than money. Don’t pursue something empty for money. Bob would not trade having a child for any amount of money. For Bob, the family is more important than money.

What about boys who don’t have fathers in their lives? A large number of children are being raised without fathers. Jim calls this selfishness on the part of the absent men.

Bob serves in an organization for youth, Devoted to Youth Outdoors. They take special needs kids and underprivileged kids camping, hunting, and fishing. They also share the gospel as they can.

Jim and Bob talk about fly fishing techniques and the different fly knots used. Bob uses a triple rig that bounces off the stream’s bottom. If you use a fly that looks wrong, you are wasting time. Bob talks about fish behavior. You need to know where the fish are and where they will bite. The fish stay in the eddies. You need to find the spot where the current carries the bait to appear as lifelike as possible.

Call to Action: Get involved. Pour out your life into young men who do not have fathers to influence them. Also, please send your guest suggestions to Jim. Jim is looking for guests who will be vulnerable about their mistakes and share their successes. Email any questions about the trades to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com. Jim will network you with Bob.

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out and look for the next episode.

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Hayden Davidson just started a college intern job at Tabernacle Baptist Church in Cartersville, doing the tasks of the class teachers while the teachers are working at full-time jobs.

Hayden just finished his freshman year at Georgia Highlands College. Hayden recommends going the community college route, as he did, to save money. Hayden spent $600 on tuition for 16 credit hours his first year.

Hayden was born and raised in Rome, Georgia. When he was 10, starting fifth grade, he and his younger sister moved to Dubai, UAE with their parents. His mother had gotten a job as a teacher of English, Mathematics, and Science in the UAE. Hayden lived in the UAE until he was 16. Hayden’s father got a job teaching sixth grade at an international Christian school there. That’s the school Hayden attended.

Hayden experienced extreme culture shock moving to a Muslim country. The clothing was different. He had never seen a mosque. Hayden and his sister rode to school with their father. Their mother had a 45-minute drive to the school where she taught. Hayden says the schools in the UAE had more holidays than in the U.S., including longer periods at Christmas and spring break. Every Eid (festival) was a holiday.

Eight million people live in the UAE. Two million of them are locals (Emiratis). Four million were either from India, Bangladesh, or Pakistan. The rest were British, European, American, Australian, or Asian. The youth have a range of interests, video games, soccer, rugby, and cricket, or cars. They love any type of motorsport. Formula One racing is huge.

Hayden played shortstop and pitcher in the Dubai Little League. In the summer, at ages 11 and 12, Hayden traveled with a team through Eastern Europe, Asia, and the Philippines, playing baseball. The winner of the tournament was to go to the Little League Baseball® World Series in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Among the 14 people on Hayden’s team, most were from America. The team that won the 2014 Little League World Series, South Korea, beat Hayden’s team “Horrendously.” Playing teams from many countries, Hayden learned about many cultures. At the end of the tournament in the Philippines, there was a big banquet with traditional dances of the various nations. Hayden kept in touch with his parents through WhatsApp messaging. He did not have an unlimited cellular plan.

The first year Hayden played, they went six and three. The second-year they went into tournament play. That was their best year. The third-year they went six and three again and came in third in the tournament. In the years he didn’t have a tournament, the family would fly back to the U.S. in the summer. Hayden came back to the U.S. for good after five-and-a-half years, in the summer after his freshman year.

Hayden shares his observations about life in the UAE. Local Emiratis have housemaids and nannies in the home and yard people and gardeners to do their outside work. Fathers and mothers left raising the children to nannies. In school, Hayden saw that most students had no respect for anybody except the Sheikh, the leader of their government. Teachers had trouble commanding the respect of their students. An Emirati student could report on a teacher he didn’t like and that teacher could be deported on the word of an Emirati student. There was no system to deal with unruly students. However, at the international Christian school, there were many students who were not Emiratis, and they had learned to be more respectful to authority.

Hayden talks about the area where he lived. The city was divided into compounds where the homes were touching each other. Hayden’s friends in the compound were from many lands. In Hayden’s free time he would play basketball or American football with American friends. Some Emirati friends came over to learn about basketball and football. However, most Emiratis kept to themselves, especially the wealthy ones.

Hayden’s American friends respected their parents. Among the Emiratis, the children did not have much interaction with their fathers. Most of the fathers had four or five wives, as the country allowed, and didn’t involve themselves much with the children. Hayden does not have much contact with his friends from that time besides the occasional DM on Instagram.

In the UAE there are Christian churches all around the country. There was one in the town where Hayden’s family lived, but it was very different from the Christian church they had attended in the U.S. They found a church an hour away in Dubai, called Grace Church. The pastor was from Georgia and preached as a Baptist.

Hayden shares how interesting it was to him growing up and seeing the similarities and differences between the Muslim religion and Christianity. He liked to compare his beliefs with the beliefs of his Muslim friends. He learned right away that being a Muslim is not the same as being a terrorist.

Hayden was told that a man was allowed to have so many wives and could divorce a wife if he continued to provide for that wife and bought her a house. Hayden’s friend Fahad’s father had had six wives and had bought seven houses. Fahad’s father had divorced each wife. Each ex-wife had a house and the father lived in a separate house. The children of each ex-wife stayed with their mother.

Jim and Hayden discuss the multiple marriages of Abraham and how that practice has carried forward in the Muslim world.

Hayden played football and baseball in the UAE. A friend of the family in the UAE who had played quarterback at the University of Georgia saw Hayden playing quarterback and he convinced Hayden’s parents to get Hayden back to play high school football in the U.S. because he had the potential to play collegiate football. They planned for Hayden to go back first, to Cartersville High School and the rest of the family would return home when the mother’s teaching contract was fulfilled. Hayden chose Cartersville because its Baseball coach, Stuart Chester, was a state championship coach and Hayden’s passion was baseball. Hayden hoped to play on a championship team under Coach Chester. The high school closest to Rome, where Hayden had lived before, did not have the same potential for baseball excellence. Hayden’s father knew Stuart Chester from Rotary, also.

Hayden came to Cartersville for the summer with his mother and sister. His father stayed in the UAE with a new job. His mother and sister went back to the UAE in August and Hayden started his sophomore year at Cartersville High School. Hayden lived with his aunt and uncle for two-and-a-half years until his mother and sister moved back to the U.S. Hayden felt like he was going off to college, although he was 16. He did still miss his parents.

Hayden talks about the differences between the behavior of his father and uncle. Hayden’s father was a strict disciplinarian. Hayden’s uncle demanded respect but he was more relaxed about discipline. Part of the difference was because he was Hayden’s uncle and not his father. Hayden’s father is very interested in football and American sports on television. Hayden’s uncle is very productive with his time doing yard work and other activities. Jim talks about how to reconcile having a different viewpoint from your father.

Hayden wanted to live up to his parent's expectations. He didn’t want to disappoint them. At his aunt and uncle’s house, he was not as worried about messing up. After a few months, he learned that his aunt and uncle also did require a certain level of obedience from him.

Back at his Baptist church, in Hayden’s first year he experienced the most growth in his faith. It was especially comfortable for him to speak to any of his neighbors and friends about his faith because they believed the same things. He didn’t have to worry about people getting upset by any statements of faith. In the South, Hayden could see hundreds of men who were in the word of God every day. Hayden’s father had not shown him the example of daily scripture reading or demonstrated how to be a godly man. Hayden learned a lot from his youth pastor. Hayden got a new outlook on what it means to be a Christian man.

Jim and Hayden discuss the fundamentals: prayer, reading the Bible, fellowship, and outreach. At one point, Hayden was doing seven Bible studies a week and it seemed like a lot.

Hayden’s youth pastor drove 25 minutes to pick Hayden up to go to Bible study. He also bought Hayden breakfast. Hayden took it for granted and didn’t process at first how great a service that was for him. Recently, Hayden has received a testimony of how little acts of service are big things.

Hayden talks about unrequited love with a young woman he met at Church. Hayden thought the relationship was from God but he ended up getting hurt. That disturbed his faith. He slowed down in the fundamentals and put all his attention into sports. Hayden excelled in sports. Hayden’s mother texted him daily. Hayden wasn’t always prompt to respond. Whenever his father texted him, it was about baseball or football.

After an interview with his coach, Hayden had expected to be put on the varsity baseball team in a couple of weeks. It didn’t happen and at the end of the season, the coach told him it was because of his attitude. Hayden worked on his attitude and by senior year, he received an award for his good attitude.

Hayden talks about his attitude in baseball. He started with a good attitude, but two players whose fathers were friends with the coach got called up before Hayden, and that hurt Hayden’s feelings and his attitude became negative. This was at the same time he was experiencing rejection by the young woman he liked. This became a time of adversity for Hayden. Meanwhile, he did not have his father at home to talk to about these matters. When Hayden prayed for God’s help on the field, it wasn’t for God’s glory that he prayed, but for his own desires. Hayden believes it was God’s purpose for him not to be called to the varsity team as a sophomore because he would have swelled with pride. When he got the Chip Turner award for having the best attitude in his senior year, he felt it was for how he had developed his character as a person.

When Hayden faced adversity, he talked to his aunt and uncle for dating advice, to his father for sports advice, and to his youth pastor for faith advice.

In Hayden’s junior year, he had learned to be responsible and stay on top of his academic tasks and chores at home. In Hayden's senior year, he learned there is more to life than sports. He had to figure out quickly what he was going to do outside of sports. As it turned out, Hayden did not get a sports scholarship for either football or baseball.

In Hayden’s junior year, eight out of their nine starters were D1 starters but Hayden didn’t play much. He was in 17 innings out of over 40 games. He knew then that he was not getting a baseball scholarship or a career in professional baseball. It was a hard pill for him to swallow.

Hayden wanted to stay around sports. He started looking into physical therapy, kinesiology, and exercise science. He pursued that his first year in college but has recently started considering some sort of ministry.

Hayden was a COVID-19 senior and his season got cut short. Hayden’s father texted him about baseball until the season got cut short. Then Hayden had an accident and had surgery on his shoulder. Three weeks after Hayden’s surgery was the last time he heard from his father. Hayden doesn’t know why his father stopped responding but when they had talked, it was only about sports. Hayden talks to his uncle still. No one in the family knows if his father is still alive.

Hayden still needs counsel. “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” — Proverbs 1:5 (KJV) With the Spirit of God, you can discern the counsel you receive and apply it. With no counsel, it is easy to be tossed with the wind on the waves without direction.

Hayden observed godly men and how they lived, but he wasn’t comfortable talking to them and receiving their counsel. He kept his concerns to himself. Only in the last two to three months Hayden has been willingly open to talking with godly men about his future. Hayden is still hurt that his father has not been in touch with him. He sees his friends going fishing, hunting, and to games with their fathers while he does not hear from his father.

Hayden had a revelation that he can’t change his father’s choices or control him but he can prevent negativity from weighing him down for the rest of his life. Hayden sees that God used this experience to help him grow.

Jim notes that quite a few men have grown up without fathers. Many boys are growing up without godly fathers to lead them. Jim affirms Hayden for his courage and for sharing his vulnerability. He respects Hayden for trusting God through adversity.

Hayden is exploring getting into the ministry to give back what his youth leader has poured into him. He is coaching a 12-year-old baseball team, developing relationships with the young men, so when they are older, they will remember how Hayden encouraged them and they will want to encourage others. Hayden is learning to develop skills of being a youth pastor in a church to help young kids navigate life choices.

Looking back, Hayden promises he will be there for his future children. Not having a father to talk to is a source of pain for him. He wants his future children not to experience that pain. He has also learned not to try to spite people because of negative interactions.

Hayden’s counsel to young men who don’t have a father in their life: Find godly men of faith you respect to guide and encourage you. Let them teach you.

Hayden shares his testimony of Jesus the Messiah, sent to earth to save us. He died on the cross for all of our sins and took the pain we were supposed to endure for our sins to show us His love. He rose on the third day after his crucifixion. He is the Son of God. Jesus lived his life on this earth as the perfect man. He went out and made disciples for God. He taught the world about God. He taught what it was to be a Christian man. Jesus is the Cornerstone of the foundation of faith.

Jim reminds listeners that you need a Bible. Jim can send you a digital Bible if you contact him.

Hayden asks any listener that comes from a similar background as he has to have faith. Hayden recalls the faith of Job through all the different trials he experienced that God will prevail. Hayden wants to have faith like Job. Hayden’s mother always told him, you don’t want to give up on God in the fourth quarter. Don’t stop praying before God answers your prayers. Hayden’s high school football coach was separated for many years from his father. After 26 years, he met his father and they have a relationship and share holidays. Hayden has forgiven his father. He loves him and he hopes to have a relationship with him again. He has come to terms with the fact that it is out of his control.

Call to Action: Jim’s call to action for older men: Let’s get in the game with great intent to invest all of our energy and our lives into the generations of young men behind us and let’s pour out our lives at these young men and let’s train and lead them on what godly, masculine behavior is. Let’s mark ourselves as men in how we live our lives and let’s stay after it for the benefit of others. Email any questions to Jim at Info@MenBuildMen.com.

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Kevin Hill gives an account of his recent life in Part 2 of this interview. Listen in for insight on the results of being mentored by a godly man with a purpose.

Kevin Hill moved back to Texas after his divorce and took whatever job he could find. He hung out and played basketball and softball with his buddies. He had no idea where he was headed. Kevin got married a second time to a woman he knew through his employment at a car dealership. He was 24 years old with no firm convictions. He started to work as a corrections officer in the county jail. In a few years, his second marriage was over.

Were Kevin’s parents or grandparents attempting to guide him to a more stable life? Kevin says his mother tried. Kevin’s father had left Kevin’s mother for someone he found in an AOL chat room. Kevin’s mother met and married a wonderful man who became a pretty strong influence on Kevin. He had simple and practical wisdom like Kevin’s grandparents.

Kevin offers counsel to young men who may feel adrift: Having a good marriage begins with the selection of a partner. Kevin’s first two marriages were not set up to be healthy.

Kevin continued at the county jail in Central Texas after his second divorce. The only thing in his life with purpose was his job, which he enjoyed. When Kevin was 31, he met a beautiful woman in a new class of correctional officers. Kevin says, “And that woman has been with me since then. She’s my wife and the mother of our daughter.” They bonded over their work in law enforcement. However, they found the jail to be an unhealthy environment, and eighteen months after meeting each other, they left their jobs and moved to Dallas. Kevin worked in sales and his girlfriend worked in police administration. After a couple of years, they got married. Kevin did not want to divorce a third time.

What had changed for Kevin? Kevin and his wife had started going to a church outside Dallas. For the first time, Kevin was challenged by a message of transformation preached at church: You should be different than you are; you should be living with purpose; there should be a reason for what you do. Kevin was influenced by the pastor, a guy’s guy, who spoke like a man. He spoke God’s truth with conviction. The message was an invitation to join a transformational group. Kevin and his wife were convicted that they needed to sign up.

Jim quotes Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

Kevin compares his former life as being in a completely dark space and just being entertained by whatever he stumbled into. All of a sudden there was a light on the horizon and he needed to go find it. Kevin and his wife joined a group, and Phil, the group leader became Kevin’s mentor.

Jim cites transformation “by the renewing of your mind” in Romans 12:2 and asks Kevin how he moved forward in the early part of marriage number three. For the marriage to be successful, it was necessary to be transformed.

Besides the study group, they did a private study of Proverbs. Kevin and his wife joined Phil and his wife for dinner every week. This was Kevin’s first Bible study. He bought a Bible. Kevin says if he had read and studied the Bible earlier, he would have been saved from years of heartache.

Jim is convicted that if you don’t read God’s word, you are not going to be transformed. There is a renewing of the mind that comes when you read God’s word.

One thing that Kevin realized, reading Proverbs with Phil, is you have to acknowledge your sins, mistakes, and failures, but you don’t have to dwell in them. You acknowledge what you did, you take responsibility for it, and receive the grace that covers it. You leave it where it is and you move on. If you continue to dwell in it, you are not realizing the grace of Jesus Christ. Jim adds that sin’s wrongdoing is washed away by the blood of Jesus; it’s gone.

Kevin’s wife got a job as a corporate recruiter. A few months later, Kevin also got a job as a corporate recruiter for the same company. They have been in recruiting since then, for different companies. It has been great and has allowed them to work from home. They began at entry-level and in six years they have climbed to be economically successful.

After a couple of years, Phil and his family moved away. Kevin and his wife moved to Oklahoma City in 2016. Kevin’s mother had just become widowed and Oklahoma City was close to her home so Kevin could be near her.

Kevin went from being sure of his strength to being sure of the foundation of Jesus Christ and in knowing things will work out the way they are supposed to. He talks about how studying the Bible is transforming him. Kevin recommends that people put the Bible app on their phones and study the Bible with someone with experience and knowledge to lead them through their study. If you can’t find a mentor, still read the Bible.

Kevin talks about how he and Aaron, his friend growing up, reconnected. Aaron, now a pastor, uploaded his sermons onto a church website and Kevin listened to his sermons every day. Kevin went to Pastor Aaron for coaching. Together, they launched a website, ActLikeMen365.com to help men hold each other accountable as believers, obligated to each other, and responsible to each other for Christian behavior.

ActLikeMen365 is launching a charitable operation where they will serve the poor in the community. Kevin tells what inspired the podcast and website. Kevin and Jim quote the passage 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 “13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.” (ESV) Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Kevin compares his life until age 30 to wearing a blindfold. From 30 to 34, he was wearing blinders. When Phil started mentoring him, the blinders came off, and Kevin learned what was expected of him. No one had held Kevin accountable before. Phil’s example and manner of living drew Kevin to ask him for help.

Kevin elaborates about the Bible study sessions that inspired him to name the podcast and website for 1 Corinthians 16:13-14.

Call to Action: Jim invites men to be willing to step into the lives of other people and have some very hard conversations with them to hold them accountable to live as Christian men. You may get pushback and rebuttal but the power of the Holy Spirit may convict those you try to help. If you need to talk about your situation with someone, humble yourself and consider reaching out to Jim or Kevin. Jim encourages you to listen to the podcast for how other men’s mistakes can be avoided in your Christian life. If men behave and act like men, things will be different. Kevin feels now, that after mentoring, he is where he needs to be, with his wife and daughter. You can be transformed; it has to be in God’s way.

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Kevin Hill gives the account of his upbringing and life until his first marriage and divorce in Part 1 of this interview. Listen in for insight on the possible results of drifting through life without purpose. Stay tuned for Part 2 in the next episode.

Kevin Hill is a Christian, husband, father, and dog collector. Kevin had time on his hands from the lockdowns and in January, he started a podcast, Act Like Men. He uses his time for self-improvement in Bible study and self-reflection. At age 42, Kevin is an older new dad with a 21-month-old girl. Kevin and his family are in Oklahoma City, looking to move to Texas.

Kevin was raised as a “military brat.” He went to three junior highs. He was an athlete but he was always the new kid on the team. Kevin’s father was in the Air Force and they lived in Germany twice and Texas. Kevin lived in Germany when he was aged 12 through 14. He thought living there was the best thing ever, with the Autobahn, delicious food, and traveling around Europe in a conversion van. He went to a DOD school, playing basketball, and a little baseball. When his father was transferred, Kevin went a half-year early to live with his grandparents in Texas and start the school year there, in a town of 400 people. He continued to play basketball. Everyone thought he was a German exchange student.

Kevin talks about living with his maternal grandparents. His grandfather had a conviction of the truth and was steady as a rock. Kevin’s father was more driven by the emotion he was feeling at the time and would explode in anger. Kevin was relaxed with his grandfather and went to him for advice. Kevin’s grandmother was very caring. During this school year, Kevin was well-behaved.

When Kevin’s parents moved to San Antonio from Germany, Kevin moved in with them and his younger brother. They lived on base until his parents found a house on the Northeast side of San Antonio. Kevin usually was challenged as the new kid in a school, especially when it was not a school on a base. There were a few fights.

Whenever the family was overseas, Kevin spent two weeks in the summer with each set of grandparents. Kevin talks about his paternal grandparents. His grandfather had fought in WWI and come home to work for 50 years for one company. He was also a steady influence on Kevin.

As a child, Kevin never had a career plan for his future. He did know that he didn’t want to have the same behavior and character as his father. Kevin ruled out following his father in the military. He wasn’t making plans for any field to study. If he had his current knowledge to apply when he was 16, he would have pursued the ROTC program and chosen a good college.

Kevin’s advice to young men today: Look at what you enjoy and see how you could work at that. Find someone who’s doing it and ask them to mentor you.

Kevin talks about his paternal grandfather’s last days when he took himself off dialysis at age 90. Kevin was 30. It was hard to understand at the time. Kevin’s maternal grandfather is now dealing with Alzheimer’s at age 92, which gives Kevin more insight into why his other grandfather did not want to live dependent on others.

Kevin talks about the respect he had for his grandfather for being self-reliant throughout his life. Kevin regrets not conversing with his grandparents more frequently when he was young. No matter what he learned from each of them, he could have learned more. There was always more there.

Kevin went to a pre-Easter retreat when he was 17 and gave his life to the Lord. At that age, he looked at being saved as an item to check off a list. The message that was preached at the retreat is that Jesus is the Son of God, that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are one. Jesus voluntarily allowed himself to be crucified to make us righteous in the eyes of God and cleanse us from sin if we believe and accept that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for us, and that He rose again. Something moved in Kevin’s heart when he heard that message at the retreat. He prayed for Jesus to be his Savior and to take his sin. He thought that was all there was to it.

Kevin graduated high school and went to a little Christian college in Central Texas for a year. He was on the campus but did not go to classes very often. He hung out playing basketball for a year. He met a young woman on the basketball court who was in medical school on a Navy scholarship and they started dating. After several months, Kevin convinced her to marry him. Kevin didn’t have goals, but his wife did, and he was happy to ride along with her.

After they married, they moved to the East Coast. Kevin’s wife did her deployment and “came to her senses” on deployment that she had married a “big kid.” They split up and Kevin went back to Texas. Kevin understood her position and he acknowledges that he had not done the work on himself he needed to do.

Jim affirms Kevin for sharing transparently and openly about his life’s decisions. Both Jim’s and Kevin’s podcasts are directed to encourage men to behave in a manner that represents Jesus well, that is godly, that is based in the Bible. Jim asks if being saved had any influence on his first marriage. Kevin talks about what being Christian meant to him at that time. What being Christian looked like to him was going to church and going out to lunch afterward.

Kevin talks about men who live like everyone else and don’t act like Christians. He has seen pastors who are concerned with attendance but don’t preach about living with purpose.

Jim talks about how Kevin had not been a Biblical leader in his marriage and home. He was just following his wife with no plan. He was adrift.

Call to Action: Jim invites boys and men to consider their role as Christian men. Listen in to the next episode to hear the conclusion of this interview on how to act like men.

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Terry Ford has a passion to see reconciliation occurring in communities and churches between ethnic groups. Listen in to see how he works for this.

Terry begins by sharing his experiences with God’s grace. Before Terry’s father passed, Terry had an abundance of comfort from the Holy Spirit, preparing him for that season of his life. Terry was then able to be with his family in a way that honored his father and also his relationship with God.

The burden of reconciliation was not something Terry chose to have. God chose it for him, placing him in relationships that have shaped his life. Terry opens up about how God prepared him for COVID-19, and how he got sick starting January 7, 2021. He tested positive for COVID-19 and was sent from Urgent Care to go home and monitor his oxygen and take OTC remedies for his symptoms. He tried to beat it through prayer but his oxygen was too low and he needed to be admitted. He felt God was telling him to go. When he got to the hospital they found three blood clots in his lungs. They were able to address the problem and prevent a stroke. Terry also had developed pneumonia. He was aware his family might not see him again; we are not promised tomorrow. Terry affirms the front-line hospital staff for putting their lives on the line every day.

Terry prayed that he was not ready to pass on and he felt that God was telling him he would survive to continue to serve. Terry felt the fear of God, combined with love and peace. Bible verses came to Terry’s mind. God also brought to Terry’s remembrance that he had had time to serve but he would have more. While Terry had some fear of the unknown, he felt that God would continue to use him in service. These feelings lasted for the first two days. Terry was in the hospital for eight days. He was in constant pain but not able to take any pain medication except acetaminophen. Terry says that during his weakness, God transformed him into his calling. Since being out of the hospital, Terry has not been able to let up following God and working for Him. When he was on what he thought was his deathbed Terry had a great reminder of what his purpose was before God. Terry attests that we learn God’s character when we surrender to Him in our struggle, pain, and trial.

Terry professes that God doesn’t need him; God chooses to use him and restore him. It’s not for Terry; it’s for the Kingdom of God and His glory. Terry cites the miracle of Lazarus. Jesus was told Lazarus was sick and dying and He chose to wait three days until Lazarus had died before going to him to raise him.

Terry expounds on the essential mission of reconciliation. First, the mission is to reconcile people to God through Jesus Christ, our Savior. Christians are also called to be reconciled to each other in the Church and to their neighbor. Terry recalls that before going to the Cross, Jesus prayed that the Church would be one as He and the Father are one. God does not operate in division, chaos, or disorder. Terry says God has given him the passion to pursue reconciliation the way the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King defined it. Terry sees there is a selfish division between people groups, even in churches. Terry is convinced that division is demonic. Satan tried to separate Adam and Eve from God.

Jim asks Terry to explain what it means to be reconciled to God. It starts with praying to God that we need to be saved from our sins and through accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. You come to a realization that you are a sinner and are in need of a Savior. It is the power of the Holy Spirit that convicts a person of their need of a Savior. Terry acts as a messenger of the Good News. As you continue to read scripture and obey God and Christ, you grow in the Church, engaging with the Word, and with other believers.

Jim witnesses that God, the Creator, is holy, perfect, and righteous. Human beings, because of sin, are not. We try to become perfect in our minds and behavior, but the only way we can become perfect is through the righteousness of Jesus, sent to save us, according to God’s plan. Jim talks about the birth, death, and resurrection, and ascension of Jesus, and that He will again return the same way as He departed.

Jim asks Terry how imperfect people can be reconciled to each other. Terry says the problem is sin. If we go forward as Jesus commanded, making disciples of every nation and people, coupled with Jesus’s prayer that his disciples may be one, will reconcile the people of the Church with each other. The disciples are to be examples to the world.

People find community and love in places other than the Church. Many people who are not believers do not see the believers as loving each other. One bad example in American Christian history is the past ownership of slaves. The Bible has been used to legitimize person-stealing, but that is not a correct understanding of the Law of the Old Testament. Terry talks about the history of Christianity in Africa and says it did not endorse slavery there.

Terry quotes John 17:21, the great prayer of Jesus Christ that we would be sanctified and that He was sent into the world for our sake, and how He prayed that we would be one as Jesus is one with God. Then, “that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” Division by ethnicity is not Biblical. Terry asks, are you complicit in the division? People stay where they feel comfortable, and some feel it is too hard to engage with a different group.

Jim and Terry discuss whether people today feel the passion to reach between ethnicities and bring all people to reconciliation. It requires intentionality among those whose eyes have been opened by the Lord to advocate and proclaim the Biblical meaning of reconciliation. A friend of Terry’s called him after the shooting death of Ahmaud Arbery and asked him how to process what was happening between ethnic people groups in America. Terry told his friend of the Undivided Curriculum that helps people to see each other as God’s people, made in His image, no matter what their background may be. Are we loving people where they are? Terry cites Jesus telling the woman caught in adultery that He did not condemn her, but commanded her to go and sin no more.

Terry asks, if people don’t believe you care about them, how will you share the gospel with them to save them from their sins? Terry’s ministry is to work within the Church to equip people to pursue reconciliation through relationships. Relationships with people require work and transparency; serving and loving each other, including your enemy.

Pride, fear, and discomfort stand as obstacles in the way and people stay within their community. Politics should not divide us. Terry shares his feelings about the elections, respectively, of Barack Obama and Donald Trump and the conversations that arose from those. Terry sees God’s grace in these conversations, as they deliver people to a different awareness of other ethnic cultures. Disciples are called to love each other and to love our enemies, including those not in our ethnic people group. Your first identity needs to be Christian. Ethnicity and other attributes come after that. We are not pursuing sameness but oneness.

Because we are broken, sinful people, we concern ourselves with differences. Terry refers to Psalm 139:14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works.

God intended to make us in our various people groups. We are not all the same, and God has commanded us all to love each other. Paul had a passion to bring the gospel to the gentile. We need to see, value, and love others as God sees, values, and loves us.

Terry explains how the Undivided Curriculum works to bring about reconciliation. The first step is to listen to the other person and hear their story without judgment or offense. It requires long suffering and your goal is to love them as Christ loves the Church. Jim sees this as a failure of men in the church fellowship assemblies.

Jim presents his call to action (below). We need to follow the only perfect man, Jesus Christ. God made us in His image to be reconciled to Him. Selfishness, pride, and arrogance stand between us and God’s plan of reconciliation to God and other people. Jim watched some Medal of Honor presentations on YouTube. He invites you to sacrifice yourself for the benefit of others. The honorees Jim saw are selfless, people who choose not to be about the ministry or service, are not on the path of reconciliation.

Terry offers for you three principles to apply, starting today: 1) Pray for God to give you awareness and a heart to become reconciled to Christ followers who are not like you. 2) Educate yourself intentionally through scripture and other books that teach the Biblical foundation and the sin of racism and divisiveness in the Church, including how the history of the Church in America played into that. 3) Start intentional relationships within the gospel community.

As you follow these steps, the Church will become more attractive to the world, because believers will be living the way they are supposed to live in following Christ.

Call to Action: Jim invites boys and men listening to behave in manners that represent God’s character. If you want to know about different appearances of skin, read about genetics. Jim challenges you to research domestic dogs and their genetic origin. They are all dogs despite different appearances. You’re welcome to email Jim or Terry your questions. Be intentional; don’t observe the problems, be resolved in participating in the fight to rectify where we stand. God does a work through his disciples. Be willing to be a disciple, even when it hurts.

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Terry Ford, a “military brat,” grew up in Rome, Georgia, and lives in Cartersville, Georgia. Terry has also lived in Germany and Florida. Terry’s father, David, retired from the Army as a Warrant Officer, after 33 years, including two tours in Vietnam.

Terry talks about his parents’ divorce and how he stayed with his father in Fort Benning and then moved in with his Mother in Rome when his father remarried and took his wife to Germany.

Terry was close to his mother who was growing in her Christian walk. Terry’s father, although he was not present, provided for the family. Terry always had a positive view of him. Terry’s dad was strong in discipline and generosity. Terry lost him in 2019.

Terry was involved in the Boys & Girls Club and played football in high school. Because of influences like those, he stayed out of criminal trouble. When Terry’s father was around, he used the belt and the switch and Terry learned to say “Yes, sir” and “Yes, Ma’am.” He learned to do his work and be a person of integrity. Terry took shop in high school and, at age 14, he used his skills at work installing area rugs. He describes the food service jobs he has also held.

Terry started having sexual encounters at age 13, after watching a pornographic videotape. He tells about his first encounter with a girl from school. He wishes his parents had prepared him with education about intimate relationships. Terry has broken the cycle of silence by talking in detail with his children. He has prepared them against the danger of pornography.

Jim talks about how easily pornography is accessible to young men. Terry says either you are killing sin or it is killing you. Terry remarks that many men are fighting this problem of pornography, whether they are in Christ or not, but if you are in Christ, you are aware of the evil of pornography and you are able to fight it with the power of the Holy Spirit. Pornography affected Terry’s behavior through high school and college. Pornography distorts your view of women and what a godly man should be doing to respect women.

Terry works in a ministry of reconciliation between all followers of Jesus Christ. He says what you find in reconciliation is that we all have the same struggles. Terry believes we are better as a reconciled people in Christ if we all walk together in that struggle.

Because there was a lack of intentional, detailed conversation about sex when Terry was growing up, he struggled with perverted behavior. Terry is being transparent about what God is delivering him from.

Terry talks about his dad marrying his step-mom when Terry was in 11th-grade in high school. Terry now has a very strong relationship with his step-mom and his biological mom. They both live in Cartersville and they get along with each other. They were there for each other when Terry’s dad passed away.

After dying once in a heart attack and open-heart surgery and being resuscitated, Terry’s dad told him, “I was gone, but the Lord brought me back for a purpose. So everything I do is in honor of Jesus Christ.” That was the first time Terry had heard testimony from his dad about his relationship with Jesus. Terry’s dad served Jesus through generosity with other people.

Jim affirms Terry for honoring his dad. He affirms Terry for his service of reconciliation of people to Jesus Christ and with each other united in Christ, similar to Terry’s father’s generosity and compassion with people.

Jim challenges listeners to hit pause now in the podcast, pick up the phone and call your father, or if that is too much, just to text him, especially if your relationship is strained. Reach out to him if he is living. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him. If you need to reconcile with him, man up and take the initiative to start the conversation and move toward healing. Don’t allow time to go by without reconciling and squaring up your relationship with your father.

When Terry entered college after losing his father, he joined the Army Reserves. He went to Sand Hill, Fort Benning, Georgia, to become a Drill Sergeant. He was promoted from E1 to E2 in Basic Training. He made it up to E4, Corporal.

In college, Terry was first interested in the performing arts, then business administration, political science, and finally, criminal justice. Terry joined a fraternity, which included getting branded with the fraternity symbol as a rite of passage. He did this again when he joined a second fraternity.

Jim talks about the rite of passage of branding observed in many cultures. He believes that when a boy chooses to brand himself a man, with his own hand, he will never see himself again as a boy.

Terry refers to the Book of Proverbs and the definition of manhood found there. We have a responsibility from a Christian context, to build up other men for the sake of the gospel.

Terry talks about the fraternity culture. They did community service and helped the elderly. There was also a social culture, but that aspect was not always healthy for Terry, because it was not in alignment with being a Christ-follower. Terry had come to know Jesus when he was 15, but he had not continued in a godly walk.

Terry graduated with a criminal justice degree and sought to be a juvenile probation officer. He also married his first wife after being with her for a couple of years and after she became pregnant with their child. He tells his children what the Biblical framework is but lets them decide how they will behave.

Terry came back to Georgia to look for a career. In 1996, he got a job working with gang members at Cobb County Juvenile Court.

Terry talks about his five children, including a stepson from his first marriage. That marriage ended in divorce in 2006. Terry acknowledges the missteps he made in his first marriage and takes the responsibility for not being the man God called him to be.

Jim talks about the man being in charge of the marriage and God will hold the man responsible for the marriage. Jim affirms Terry for his words. Terry says that if he had responded to his first wife’s needs in a godly, manly way, he probably could have had the marriage reconciled. Instead, he sinned even more, because he felt sorry for himself. He almost drank himself to death and took sleeping pills. He ended up in the hospital.

Jim affirms Terry for having the courage to admit on public record that he had been trying to escape reality in a life of fantasy and sin and had allowed his first divorce to occur out of cowardice.

Terry talks of the peace that comes from God showing you your real self and you surrendering to how He wants you to live your life and what your purpose is. Terry is being transparent in hopes that a young man will hear it, and it will be something God uses to keep them from making the same choices.

Jim states that God has made men to be protectors and providers, prophet and priest, and to represent our family and our marriage, to do what needs to be done. However, when we don’t, there is hope, grace, and forgiveness in God.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to do as Terry has said and turn to God. You’re welcome to email Jim or Terry your questions, but you need to go directly to God your Creator, and take your concerns to Him. If you need to know how to do this, ask Jim or Terry.

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Jon Nicolas, who shared in Part 1 the story of his tumultuous youth, begins by reviewing his early life, including his abusive childhood home, joining a religious cult group, his relationships, marriages, and his children.

While still married, Jon woke up from a dream one morning in a cold sweat, crying, feeling a weight lifted from him, and knowing that he forgave the father who had never been in his life. Jon credits God for lifting his burden. The marriage he was in was abusive, and he sought a divorce, which took two years. He started another relationship that didn’t endure.

Jon moved to Homestead, Florida to pursue a career in acting and comedy. He dreamed that Kevin Hart told him he wasn’t funny. So he got on stage in front of 60 people and “killed the set.” He entered one of the top comedy competitions in Miami, the Ultimate Miami Comedian. He did not win and he fell into depression. However, shortly after that, he did his first routine in front of 400 people in a well-known comedy club in Homestead. Within six months he did meet Kevin Hart but did not get recognition from him.

Jon took the advice of a friend and went to hear a motivational speaker talk about the greatness within. Something awakened in Jon that he heard God speaking to his spirit that he had greatness inside him, because of God.

Jon picked up his childhood Bible and found 1 Peter 3. When he read that chapter, the words came alive for him. At age 33, he realized he was a wicked sinner. The chapter made him realize what he needed. Jon shares from verse 18 through 20, realizing his own need for baptism and the resurrection and redemption of Jesus Christ. Jon talks about how his conscience had been seared, but that God broke into his soul through his recent experiences.

Jon sought out a church and he went to the pastor to confess. He took lessons and was baptized. Jon said he came out of the water a brand new man. Jon relates to Saul’s experience on the road to Damascus.

When Jon stepped out of the water, the girlfriend he was breaking up with took a photo of him. She was a member of the same assembly. They went to lunch and she asked about engaging back in a relationship. Jon had treated her so badly he did not feel worthy of being in a relationship with her. For the first time in his life, Jon offered a prayer promising that if he ever found real love, that he would follow God’s plan for him, follow the commandments, and not stray. He didn’t know where that prayer would take him.

Jim reminds the listener that sometimes your plan — what you are to do next — is not clearly defined for you. Jim calls for you to email or contact him or Jon if you need or want some help with your plan. If you are brand new in your relationship with Christ, get help from some older men who have walked down the path you want to walk.

Jon’s story is in a book, Jesus Changed our Lives. Jon can send you a copy of it if you contact him on Instagram.

Jon tells how God responded to his prayer. A week later, Jon was driving for Uber in South Beach, Florida, and picked up a beautiful woman who would quickly change his life.

At the end of the ride and their conversation, they exchanged Instagram information. In a week, Jon contacted her and they met up and talked as though they had known each other for years. Jon told her he had a friend named Jesus Christ he wanted to introduce her to. If she could get to know Him, then Jon could get to know her better. Her reply was yes, she would love to get to know Him!

That woman. Alicia, accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior six months after Jon met her, and she became Jon’s wife. Alicia’s story and testimony are also written in the book and she is on fire for Christ! She speaks to other women about Christ and is a powerful woman of God.

Jon quotes Acts 2, about the rushing wind and tongues of fire, and speaking in tongues. Jim reads Acts 2:2–4. Jon recalls the baptism of Jesus in Matthew 3 and how the hearts of the multitude were affected by the Word in Acts 2:37 and 38. Jon talks about being on fire from God by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jon shares some examples from his life of being on fire by the power of the Holy Spirit. God delivered him from the marijuana he was still smoking and the alcohol he was still drinking. His new girlfriend, Alicia, was praying for him to have those things removed from him and for the people he was hanging around with to be let go so Jon could pursue Jesus.

Some people were offended by Jon’s new fire. Jim talks about the heat and fire that refines us. Heat is needed to refine metal and produce tools from raw materials.

When Christ came, His own people rejected Him. When you have the Holy Spirit in you, people who are not ready for a relationship with Jesus Christ will reject who you are and what you stand for. You are the reflection of Jesus. The point of becoming a Christian is to reflect God, who is the Perfect Man. We are to decrease daily so that Christ may increase. Put down the worldly things and pick up the cross. Jon claims Progressive Christianity confuses people about Jesus Christ and His holiness.

Jon was trained under a motivational speaker but he later learned that change in the world can only come through Jesus Christ. It’s not something you buy at a motivational event.

Jim talks about the tendency people have to extinguish what is set ablaze (with all due respect to firefighters) because it consumes. People fear being consumed by the Holy Spirit.

As Jon increased in his love for Jesus, his bad behaviors fell away from his life. He became a disciple of Jesus Christ trying to be a good servant and to multiply the gifts Jesus has given him. Jon stands for truth. Jon talks about the blessings that come when a disciple is attacked for following Christ. Jon invites people who are offended by the word of Christ to have a discussion with him.

Before Jon knew Christ, everything was on the table. He broke many commandments without worry. When Jon was baptized he accepted that what Jesus stands for opposes all that Jon used to stand for. Jesus wants holiness for you. Jon talks about an episode of The Chosen and where The Chosen can be seen for free. Jon keeps drinking the word of God to stay “intoxicated” with the “new wine” of the New Covenant, and he shares it with everyone he can. Jon has a favorite praise song, “Refiner,” by Maverick City Music, that he credits for helping refine him.

Jon talks about real worship led by the Holy Spirit. Jim talks about how some assemblies are afraid of the Holy Spirit in their worship services. We need to be encouraging each other to blaze for the Lord. When your congregation is set ablaze, it cannot be controlled.

Jim affirms Jon for being ablaze by the Holy Spirit and it’s why he invited Jon to the podcast.

Jon talks about leading an assembly by the Holy Spirit, not by a sermon.

Daily, Jon gives thanks to the Father when he wakes. He praises God, he worships God, he prays to God, and then he gets into the word, which becomes alive to him through the Holy Spirit in him. Then Jon goes into his day, as a reflection of what the word of God was telling him to do and glorifying the Father throughout that process. At the end of each day, Jon shares with his wife what he learned. He has also spent significant time with his wife and with his 12-year-old, Aniya. He teaches his daughter according to her understanding at her age. When Jon lays down his head, he makes sure the sun does not go down on his wrath and he has forgiven whomever he had to forgive. He has loved his wife and gotten her approval of the job he did for her and has sung to his daughter as she loves for him to do. He and his wife pray over each other in bed and they talk about Jesus constantly. Then he sleeps peacefully. He gets visitations in dreams from Jesus, because he is communing with him.

Jim thanks Jon for the application points. Men need to do more to follow Christ. Jim asks Jon to pray on the podcast by the Holy Spirit. Jon also wants to remember the women who need help with their husbands, citing 1 Peter 3, that they may win their husbands to Jesus by their holiness. Husbands, don’t let your wives seek after Jesus more than you do! Run after Jesus!

Jon prays for the podcast and the listeners in the name of Jesus Christ.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to email him or Jon your questions about what you need and to listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out and look for the next episode.

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Jesus changed our lives: Stories from the heart to enrich your faith

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“Refiner,” by Maverick City Music

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Jon Nicolas was born in Camden, New Jersey, went to middle school in Bradenton, Florida, and high school in Brooklyn, New York. He lived in Brooklyn from age 12 to 24.

When Jon was seven, his single mother, a nurse, came home from work, sent home his friend, and clubbed him over the head with a high-heeled shoe. It knocked him out. She gave him a tissue to plug up the injury. Although his siblings witnessed it, Jon never reported the abuse. That was the first time he witnessed or was subjected to violence and it came as a shock. That was the end of Jon’s childhood. He became defensive from that day on.

Jon’s mother continued to abuse him and the abuse escalated. She married but the man was not a father to the children. One time Jon’s mother tried to gouge Jon’s eyes out. Jon has never met his biological father, who had no role in his life.

Jon was athletic and friendly in middle school and was looking for the love he didn’t get from his mother. Jon was sexually promiscuous from the age of ten. It was the only thing that made him feel good. This continued through the beginning of his high school years. He also enjoyed making people laugh. It was another way he coped with his pain.

One time Jon’s mother told him, “When I think of you, I think of a gun.” Jon’s three older siblings were children of his mother’s first husband and she appeared to love them.

At school, Jon watched out for kids that were getting bullied and protected them. He was prone to lose his temper and fight if there was an argument.

One night when Jon was 12, at her husband’s insistence, Jon’s mother kicked him out of the house. His 18-year-old brother drove him to the Greyhound station, bought him a ticket to New York, gave him twenty dollars, and put him on the bus. There was no conversation or remorse on his brother’s part.

Jim hopes that Jon’s brother will come to Jesus and ask for Jon’s forgiveness for failing to protect him.

Jon testifies that God loves to heal parts in us that we thought were already healed. There are parts of us that only the Father can access. Jon gave his sins to Jesus, but there are still things he hasn’t considered. Jon thanks Jim for asking him what happened with his brother that night.

Jon had to find his way from the bus station to his aunt’s house in Brooklyn by the subway. He knew where he was going and he found it alone.

Jon had grown up Jehovah’s Witness. As soon as he arrived, his cousin brought him to a group calling themselves the Hebrew Israelites. They were African Americans and other minorities believing themselves to be the original Twelve Tribes of Israel. In minutes they had Jon doing knuckle pushups and marching military-style. They renamed Jon “Mahar Yar Lamad,” which they told him was Hebrew for Swift Learner. They taught him from the Old Testament. He met with them a couple of times a week as well as trained with them in a dojo to learn martial arts. They were training him for a race war preparing for the coming of “Yahawashi.” They were organized in groups. The 30 or so young men grouped with “Lamad” ranged from 12 to 18.

Living with his aunt, Jon went to school but dozed off in class and didn’t succeed. The Hebrew Israelites told him school didn’t matter; they were preparing for battle. Meanwhile, they prohibited “Lamad” from sexual activity but he would buy inappropriate magazines and bring them in shame to his room at his aunt’s home. Jim contrasts that habit to the online pornography available today to children in their bedrooms.

The Hebrew Israelites had multiple wives and behaved promiscuously in front of the young men they were teaching. They believed “Yahawashi” was coming at the end of 1999. When that didn’t happen, they went back to the Old Testament to try to figure out where their calculations went wrong and to create new doctrines. People started fading away from the group and their activities dwindled.

Jon moved out of his aunt’s house and stayed with other relatives in Brooklyn and Queens. He started drinking at parties at age 16. At 19, he became a father with a young woman from high school. She wanted to abort, but Jon was against it. He felt responsible for the woman and he needed to be there for her. He was at the hospital when the baby was born and he felt he held love in his arms for the first time when he held his newborn son, Jonni, who is now 17 years old.

Jim believes that if all men lived up to their responsibility for their seed, there would be no abortion.

It felt natural for Jon to hold his son in his arms and be his father. He knew he loved his son from the moment he held him and he had never felt that kind of love. He moved in with his girlfriend to her mother’s home for a few months, changing diapers, making bottles, and caring for Jonni. Jon’s girlfriend started pushing him away and even got violent with him. She falsely accused Jon of violence several times and he went to jail multiple times. He continued spending time with his son, by God’s grace and showing him love. Jon and his girlfriend broke up, and she tried to keep Jon away from her son. Jon was working at a steelyard threading pipe for a living and paying child support. Meanwhile, Jon began another relationship and within two weeks of approaching her, they were married at City Hall. Jon didn’t feel as responsible and committed to his wife as to his son. He continued to party. Jon’s wife became pregnant with Anaiya, who is now 12 years old. Jon loves Anaiya to bits, but he is divorced from Anaiya’s mother. Anaiya lives with Jon. Jon was in the hospital for Anaiya’s birth and felt great love for her.

Jim notes the contrast between raising a son and a daughter.

Jon was very angry with Jonni’s mother for keeping him from Jonni. There was a man now living in the home and Jon wanted to maintain his role as Jonni’s father. Jon was preparing to beat the other man to death and kidnap his son. He was on his way to execute his plan, but his wife ran out of the house, grabbed him, and pleaded with him not to do it. Jon’s heart was set to kill a man, but his wife talked him down compassionately. Jon is very grateful to her for that. He took his wife and daughter and left New York for his mother’s home in Florida to prevent himself from committing the potential premeditated murder.

Jim affirms Jon for his honesty and transparency, not to affirm murder, but to affirm his openness. Jon had not yet accepted Jesus into his life at that time. Jim talks about how God uses people to influence us to make the decisions that will lead to fulfilling God’s purposes in our lives.

The next episode will be devoted to how Jesus came into Jon’s life, how Jon was reborn as in John 3, and how he became a new creation as in 2 Corinthians 5:17.

If you lack a father in your life, as a majority of young men do, Jon is talking to you. You do not want to miss this. Please tune in to Episode 13.

Call to Action: Jon invites you to email your questions about what’s not ticking for you. If you show a woman your full love and commitment, she will want to be with you. Jim invites listeners to listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out and look for the next episode.

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Dexter Jones is from Cartersville, Georgia. His grandfather bought 15 farming acres nearby and bought more land later. Dexter’s father worked for the Department of Labor for 30 years, painting and farming on the side. Dexter’s father coached him in baseball and was a good male role model to Dexter and other kids in the community. Dexter got to know all his grandparents and uncles. They all farmed and they were good influences on him. He spent summer days with his grandparents while his father worked. Dexter didn’t push his grandfathers’ “buttons.” He had respect for them.

Dexter tries to be an influence on his nephew as his uncles and grandparents were. Dexter played ball and his uncles were at every ball game. He felt like a rock star. For the past 10 years, Dexter has committed himself to mentoring kids that don’t have fathers or male role models in their lives.

Dexter grew up hunting with his grandparents and uncles. It was a special fellowship he had with them. Kids need to have a dad or male role model to be with them.

Jim talks about what defines a man and the characteristics of Jesus.

Dexter gave his life to Christ in 1993, after a seven-year battle with drug addiction. He could not stop the addiction on his own but he remembers praying on November 6th of that year, that if God took the desire away, he would live for God. He looks back on the life he missed and that’s why he mentors kids now to help them navigate their way through the teenage struggle and insecurity. He helps others with recovery. He never says he did it on his own. When Dexter allowed God to come in, God delivered him. Dexter never went back to drugs. Restoring his life was a process but quitting drugs was instantaneous.

Dexter recalls how he got involved in addiction. In his sophomore year, he saw all the popular kids trying marijuana and he wanted that popularity. He went wild. He lost his sports eligibility. He went to summer school and got back on track and was back in baseball his junior year. But he still had insecurity issues. He was always trying to fit in somewhere he didn’t belong. He dropped out of the baseball team for the last two games of his senior year. That summer, 1989, Dexter went “wild-wild.” On New Year’s Eve going into 1990, he tried cocaine. For four years after that, he was on cocaine. When he saw how it was ruining his life, He turned to God.

Dexter quotes Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Dexter’s mother and grandmother had taught him the word of God, and the word of God lived in his heart, even in his addiction. When he had had enough of addiction, he felt to call on God for deliverance and give himself to Jesus Christ. God delivered him from addiction after seven years of drug use. That was on a Friday night. He had continued to go to church, so that Sunday, he went up to the altar, cried, and confessed he wanted to be saved. He was filled with the Spirit. That same day, a drug-using friend called him to come over. Dexter said, no, he was done, and not to call him to do drugs again. That friend respected him, but is still on the “merry-go-round,” struggling with drugs.

This past month, Dexter has been saved, filled with the Holy Spirit for 27 years. In the beginning, he was the youngest person of his acquaintance who was saved. Dexter had always had a great relationship with his mother, but when he got saved, they became comrades. She continued teaching him the Word that he still uses today.

Dexter got a new job in 1995 and is still friends with his coworkers from then.

Dexter talks about the first time he heard God, as a teen. He was smoking behind the gym and he heard God tell him, “I am going to use you.” Dexter was not ready for that and he spiritually ran from God toward more drug use. He had to find his way back to God through loss. He lost his mother in 2004 and his father in 2014. Dexter started looking for his purpose before God. He had started mentoring kids five years earlier. In 2014, he realized that was his purpose. He started a non-profit geared to help young men who have no father or male role model, navigate the teenage years.

Dexter says people run from God because of fear. But the only way to defeat the Goliaths in your life is by facing them with a sling.

Jim admires Dexter’s courage in coming on the podcast and talking about his failures. He has had men back out of talking on the podcast because of fear. Everybody makes mistakes. Let’s admit it. Dexter quotes Revelation 12:11 “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” Use the word of testimony. Your failures are a bridge for someone to get over.

Dexter says now that he is older he misses his grandparents and uncles, but he says, “once they put those seeds in you, they will never fade away.” You will hear them, what they would do. His uncle Jimmy taught him to love all mankind. The more you get to know a person, the more you love them. Get to know a person for who they are, not the skin color. The older you get, the more you know who your friends are. People who stay with you for years, those are your friends.

Dexter loves the Yankees because their players are so diverse. He doesn’t think there will be divisions in heaven. Some politics annoys him now, but he doesn’t let it overcome his love. In 2021, we’ve got to work on our love.

Dexter reflects on COVID-19 and the opioid epidemic his community faced in 2020. He says God showed us we can’t do anything without Him. Dexter had COVID-19. He lost an uncle to COVID-19 in March, a cousin to a drug overdose, and an uncle to COPD. He knows God has strengthened him. He has a cousin battling alcoholism, who is working to get things right.

Dexter started a nonprofit, Gap Fillers, to mentor boys and young men without a father or male role model in their lives. He sees young men who are great athletes and could have been scholar students if their dads had been there to push them. Kids need their dads. The absence of a father leaves a significant wound in a young man.

Dexter is on a couple of boards. Diversity on the Diamond works to get more minority and poor kids involved in baseball. Recovery Bartow/The Arena Recovery Community Organization (RCO) works to help people battling the opioid epidemic. A lot of people have been showing up to meetings for heroin users and met users. Dexter encourages believers to pray for people suffering from addiction and to get involved. We can make 2021 a better place.

Jim invites listeners to be selflessly intentional in service and sharing God’s word. We need to reach out to each other. If you’re a man that needs help, realize you need to ask for help. Men have a hard time discussing their troubles. Don’t be afraid of help. Don’t be afraid to help others.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to get out there with great intentionality, moving forward to rectify some of the things that can be corrected. Stop having a defeatist mentality. It’s not too much to change things and they need to be changed.

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out and look for the next episode.

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Diversity on the Diamond

Recovery Bartow/The Arena RCO

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Jim Nicklas affirms Brandon’s courage for sharing his story transparently here on the podcast. Brandon wants listeners to see how God is working in his life.

On the day of this recording, Brandon has been sober 152 days. Before sobriety, he was drinking seven days a week, starting at 5:00 a.m., except for Saturday and Sunday when he slept in. When Brandon didn’t drink, his hands shook badly. Brandon’s wife, Jennifer, noticed how much he was drinking. He always blamed it on the stresses of business.

Brandon tried to stop drinking. He recounts a terrifying hallucination he experienced for nine hours one night, while Jennifer tried to talk him down from it. Brandon called his therapist the next day, who told him he had detoxed himself. Brandon learned that more people die from heart attacks, strokes, and seizures from stopping drinking than die from drinking.

Undeterred, Monday at 5:00 a.m. Brandon was drinking again. He drove to Florida for a job but spent the time drinking. His wife and daughter drove down to find him but he tracked their phones and evaded them. They had the hotel do several safety checks on him. A friend came, took the bullets out of his gun, and told him his family was worried. Brandon knew, but he didn’t care. After a week, his brother and a buddy came to get him and he went home. For nine hours on the drive home, Brandon was throwing up into a garbage bag. He was dehydrated and sick from drinking. His brother delivered him to his family, who embraced him with open arms, regardless of all he had done. All his extended family gathered to ask how they could help him.

All week long, Brandon continued to drink. Jennifer asked him, “What would you do if this was me?” They determined to get Brandon into a medical detox and then rehab. Brandon drank two cups of vodka on the way to detox. He checked in at 1:00 a.m. He woke up at 6:00 a.m., not having any idea where he was. After the detox, he wanted to go back to work, but Jennifer had gotten him into a Christian treatment facility, HopeQuest, for a three-month program. It was like Boot Camp. In one therapy session, the therapist gave Brandon an anonymous letter Jennifer had received from a woman with whom Brandon had had an affair. It was a harsh letter but it was true. Brandon was enraged and he walked out with no phone or wallet and started for home. He was going to get his truck and leave Jennifer. However, despite Brandon’s shame, when Brandon arrived, Jennifer persuaded him that God could restore their marriage.

Brandon got drunk again, but HopeQuest decided to let him back into the program. He went back but tried to hang himself with his belt in despair. He woke up on the floor; the belt had come loose. He was very grateful for that.

He realized he had to be honest about his addiction and what he was doing. The next morning, he told the nurse what he had done but said he would run away if an ambulance came for him. The sheriff came anyway and brought Brandon to the hospital. Then they took him to a mental hospital for six days. Brandon details the awful experiences. He was able to maintain his composure so he wouldn’t get 30 days of confinement.

HopeQuest did not allow him back, as he had become a risk to the other patients. Brandon was angry and hurt, but he now sees they were right. Jennifer and Brandon went back to Brandon’s long-term drug-addiction therapist and set up a plan for an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and AA meetings. Brandon stayed sober 30 days. He talked himself into believing that he could drink and stay in control. For two days in a row, he drank a bottle of vodka before noon. His life got worse, including a car accident and a suicide threat.

Brandon talks about an AA meeting he attended where he understood for the first time what it means to surrender to God. That was 152 days ago and he has been sober since that day. Jennifer says he has been a different person. When he reached 90 days, his family started to have faith in him. Brandon prays twice a day, reads the Word, listens to church online (due to the pandemic) and pays attention and takes notes. Church has a purpose in his life. Brandon has surrendered. He can’t fix it. His addiction is bigger than him and anyone he knows.

Brandon thanks God that he failed to hang himself As dark, painful, and depressing as his life was, he is grateful, thankful, and happy for his sobriety. He goes to five or six AA meetings a week. Jesus plays the biggest role in Brandon’s sobriety.

Brandon and Jim are neighbors, but Jim would not have known any of his problems if Brandon had not told him. Jim stresses the powerful influence of a wife having God’s characteristics of grace and forgiveness. Jennifer, with God, has been gracious and merciful to Brandon in staying with him when she was justified in divorcing him. The Bible is clear. Two flesh become one person. We men need to look at how we can improve in serving our wives and being selfless.

Jennifer and Brandon’s daughters are going to start attending AL-Anon. Brandon discusses the dreams of the family going forward. Brandon continues to check himself daily and share his story. He hopes that Jennifer and he will be able to share their story with another couple going through infidelity or alcoholism to offer hope that it is recoverable.

Jim Nicklas thanks Brandon for his courageous vulnerability and expresses his respect and admiration for Jennifer and their family. Brandon asks listeners to be careful with the decisions you make.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and all major platforms, hit that five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out of God’s grace and forgiveness.

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Host Jim Nicklas interviews his friend, Brandon Smith, on God’s forgiveness. Brandon shares how he became addicted to immorality, drugs, and alcohol and how they affected his life. Brandon begins his story in this, the first of two episodes.

Brandon Smith grew up in Acworth, three houses away from his future wife. Growing up, he raced motocross for Team Kawasaki. He started dating Jennifer in high school. When Jennifer became pregnant with their first child, Brandon quit racing motocross and they got married. Brandon was 20 and Jennifer was 18 and life was difficult. After two years, Brandon was offered a chance to race motocross for a week in the Caribbean with some racing friends. They introduced him to cocaine. When he got home he moved on to meth and heroin. Brandon hid his addiction from his family.

Jennifer caught on that Brandon was in trouble and she confronted him at her parent’s home. Brandon went into an out-patient treatment center but got high in the parking lot every night. Brandon had a spiritual awakening at church and was born again. His cravings and temptations were gone. He went through a long period of spiritual growth. He went from trucking for his father to working at the Home Depot for some structure in his life. Brandon went to therapy and also marriage counseling with his wife. They were active in the church. He didn’t have the Christian discipline he wanted to have, though.

Brandon talks about the evil that he allowed into his life, starting with pornography as a young man. Some people put up a good facade but feel miserable privately. Jim asks listeners to encourage each other and affirm the good choices people make. We all need God’s grace and forgiveness in our lives.

When Brandon was working at Home Depot, his parents made his home payments and one time, bought groceries for him. He was humiliated. One night he put a gun in his mouth and would have pulled the trigger but his wife pulled in the driveway and he put the gun away.

For a safety violation, Brandon got fired from Home Depot and started to work for his father-in-law doing commercial concrete curbs and gutters. After three years he asked to branch into flatwork. His in-laws were resistant so he went into business for himself.

Brandon and his family continued to be involved in the church, including marriage retreats, youth camps, and a mission trip with his son to Nicaragua. Jennifer was home-schooling the children up to high school. But Brandon felt like he was going through the motions for appearances. Meanwhile, he had taken up social drinking. He drank outside with friends and then ducked inside to drink alone before going out again. His business was good but then ’08–’09 hit and their jobs went from millions of dollars to nothing. Brandon took a job selling roofing in Texas, after a hurricane. He was by himself and lonely and bought vodka by the gallons.

Brandon talks about being pulled over driving “hammered” drunk by a Texas Ranger two nights in a row for a burned-out light. The Ranger did not detect alcohol. Brandon saw it as God firing a shot “across the bow,” but it didn’t faze him. He continued driving drunk. He got to where he didn’t care what happened to him; whether he lived or died. Brandon fixed a wiring problem with the light because he knew he would drive drunk the third night and the Ranger would finally catch him.

Jim asks listeners to take the responsibility of being a husband, father, and leader seriously and to sacrifice selfish and willful choices. Jim affirms Brandon’s vulnerability in admitting his sins.

Brandon arranged a concrete job back home over the phone with some of his work crew. He made enough to pay his mortgage two days before his home was to be auctioned off. Brandon stayed in Texas for five months but Jennifer convinced him the family needed him home. Brandon drove his RV with a friend from Huston to Atlanta, drinking all the way.

He cut back on drinking, for a while, but drank every weekend. Then he started drinking on Wednesday, then Wednesday through Sunday, then seven days a week. Jennifer put up with his sins and he wasn’t feeling the consequences. It was not unusual for Brandon to drink half a gallon of vodka in an evening. Then he started drinking in the afternoon and then at lunch. So far, he was still maintaining his business. Brandon began drinking at 5:00 a.m. and continued throughout the day.

Jim Nicklas draws Part 1 of this interview to a close.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to come back for Part 2 of this interview. Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, give it a five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help get this word out of God’s grace and forgiveness.

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Matthew Gambill grew up in Cartersville, Bartow County, Georgia. Except for college, Matthew has lived in Cartersville all his life. Matthew lists the influences in his life as first, Jesus, and second, his maternal grandfather, Frank Harris, not to discredit his father. Frank was from the rural mountains of North Georgia. He went to work in the seventh grade to support his widowed mother and siblings. After rising as far as he could at one company, he started a business in 1945, Harris Cement Products. Frank helped build their Church in the 1950s. Matthew talks about how his grandfather invested in people. God rewarded him with a wonderful family and great success, which allowed him to help others and support the ministry and missionaries around the world.

Frank Harris served on the Cartersville City School Board and was chairman in the 1960s when Cartersville integrated the schools. Frank and his wife had observed that blacks were not treated right in the South. Frank worked with other leaders to ensure peaceful integration. Matthew praises the Lord for setting Frank in a position to influence others to do the right thing. Jim affirms that Frank Harris had the mark of a man in treating all with equity.

Matthew’s uncle, Joe Frank Harris, ran for office and won the same Georgia House of Representatives seat that Matthew holds now, against a well-funded incumbent. Joe Frank Harris served for 18 years in the House. In 1982, Joe Frank was elected Governor and served for two terms until 1991. Matthew credits God with putting Joe Frank in the right place at the right time. Matthew’s uncle, Fred, was a commercial real estate developer in Cartersville, after working at Harris Cement. Matthew’s father served a term on the Cartersville City School Board. Leadership, responsibility, and service to the community were all part of the Harris family way of life, instilled in them from youth. That was Matthew’s motivation for running for the Georgia House two years ago.

Matthew shares his early education and Church membership. He was blessed with good friends who would meet on Saturday nights for prayer and listen to Christian bands and evangelists. Through those friends, God led Matthew to Lee University in Cleveland, Tennessee to study political science in a Christian framework. Jim affirms that Matthew’s grandfather had expectations for Matthew’s behavior. Matthew says his Church affiliation growing up was in the Wesleyan Holiness movement, emphasizing the way you behave to have more of God’s influence in your life. Matthew benefited more from mastering the discipline of getting a degree than he did from the particular degree he earned. After school, God opened a door for Matthew to work at the Georgia Association for Career and Technical Education representing teachers of vocational programs in middle school and high school.

If there is a need that God has put in our heart to address, then we need to do it with a heart of gratitude. Matthew felt a call to government service so he ran for office and won a seat in the Georgia House. Matthew shares how he was drawn to run for the seat. Matthew respects anybody who steps up to the plate to run for office, as it is not glamorous, fun, or easy. Georgia has a part-time citizen legislature. The 236 men and women serving also hold full-time jobs. For two years, Matthew has been working for NFP, providing insurance benefits.

Generally, constituent calls are from people who are unhappy and need help with a complicated matter. As a Christian, Matthew serves others to glorify God and not for personal thanks. Matthew credits his wonderful wife, Danae, who also served in the Georgia House of Representatives, with a great understanding of his burdens.

Matthew tells of his 2018 campaign. Because of Matthew’s grandfather and family, he was a known entity with credibility in the community. Only one person ran against him. In April 2020, no one ran against Matthew, which was a blessing during the COVID-19 shutdown.

Matthew talks about passing a budget and passing bills. There are a lot of steps to passing a bill and it can get torpedoed at any one of them. Matthew describes the steps from writing the bill to passing it and having it signed into law. Matthew explains why it seems that nothing gets done in the Legislature and explains why it takes so long to pass a budget. Jim invites listeners to go to the Georgia House website, linked below. Pull up a bill and look at the vote breakdown. Jim affirms Matthew’s willingness to serve God and to serve the citizens of Georgia and expresses gratitude for Mattthew’s service.

Matthew asserts, as seen in the Bible, when you have righteous leaders, the people are blessed. Matthew prays for righteous people to be called to run for office. It’s okay to support certain platforms, but always remember, Jesus is our Savior and our hope.

We need to take a more active role in understanding those we send to represent us. Do we represent God as well as we ask our elected officials to represent us? Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.” (KJV) Matthew treasures the spiritual inheritance his grandfather left him. What influence is Matthew leaving on those he serves? Jim talks about living up to your word. Your word is more important than money.

Matthew is serving where God has called him to serve. He is building relationships to become a more effective representative. He is trying to do his job well. He looks for community and state needs that he can help by introducing a bill. Matthew shares the things he wants to see preserved and protected in Georgia. Matthew wants to protect the U.S. Constitution from those who believe that the United States is fundamentally flawed. Matthew is a proponent of law and order, liberty, and freedom, which we enjoy because of the sacrifices of men and women for generations. In October and November ideas start coming forward for bills for the next legislative session. Georgia residents can contact Matthew with their ideas for changing something, he is all ears.

Call to Action: Jim invites men and boys who are looking to engage in society to develop their work ethic through hard, diligent work; start today. Consider Matthew’s story of continuing successfully to represent his family and represent God in selflessness.

Find our podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, give it a five-star review, subscribe, share it, and help us get this word out! Send Jim an email with your suggestions on guests, topics, and traits.

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Dwight Davis was born in Cedartown, Georgia. His father was a pastor and his mother took care of the home and family. They lived in the country, near both sets of grandparents. Dwight was influenced by his father and two grandfathers to guide him as he grew to be a man, husband, and father. Dwight learned to love the outdoors from his father.

Dwight learned to garden as a small child from his grandfather. He started working at a business cleaning service when he was 12 and then, during his junior and senior years in high school, worked 40 hours a week for two years as a machinist. After high school, Dwight went to Shorter College, now Shorter University, where he met his wife on the first day. In college, Dwight worked several days a week at a men’s clothing store, where he learned the importance of a professional appearance and how to dress for church.

Dwight graduated from Shorter College with a Natural Sciences degree in Biology and Chemistry. Dwight says if you follow the science, it will lead you to God. Dwight applied to several medical schools but changed his mind when he saw the many hours away from his family that being a doctor would take. Dwight married in 1985.

In Dwight’s junior and senior year summers of college, he had worked for Georgia Power at Plant Bowen. That led to a career at Georgia Power.

Dwight and his wife had twin girls. Dwight tells how he and his wife managed their work schedules to be with the twins. Dwight still found time to be in the woods, with his wife’s support. On a week-long hike with friends in college, Dwight had crossed the Appalachian Trail or A.T. From that day, he had a dream to hike the A.T. from Georgia to Maine. Dwight receives physical, mental, and spiritual benefits from hiking.

For 32 years, Dwight worked for Georgia Power, keeping in mind Colossians 3:23, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” KJV. When he prepared to retire and hike the A.T., he prayed to do it for God’s glory, and it all came together.

About 20 to 30 percent of those who start the through-hike on the A.T. complete it. It takes around eight months with a willingness to persevere. Dwight documented his walk on YouTube under the name Sleeves. Dwight started his through-hike right before he turned 55. He started in February 2018, at the terminus in North Georgia. Dwight had a great send-off crew to see him start. He didn’t see any mountain views as it was pouring rain the entire time. The trail was a river. Sixty miles into the hike, Dwight was discouraged by his slow progress but he received an answer to prayer that he was exactly where he needed to be. Most days, Dwight hiked 15 to 20 miles with a full pack of about 35 pounds of provisions. Dwight wanted to finish before winter weather. Dwight didn’t hike on Sundays but made sure to be at a place where he could rest and worship the Lord.

Dwight shares experiences of 14 states, starting in Georgia with Springer Mountain in cold, miserable rain, and then walking through snow almost up to his waist in the Great Smoky Mountains, and temperatures below zero Fahrenheit. Dwight feared that he could die. Dwight describes the cold mountain “balds” in North Carolina and the lack of cell phone service in Virginia. He was isolated. The excitement of getting started on the hike had turned into the routine of a job.

Dwight’s wife sent pre-packed boxes of supplies to shelters along the way as he planned to reach them. He felt accountability toward his wife and the support team. It started raining in Virginia and continued through West Virginia. The bridge over the Potomac River was closed from high water. Dwight was wet and miserable. He was facing tremendous mental adversity.

In Maryland, Dwight slipped on a wet boulder and landed on his knee. The more he walked, the more it hurt. He took two ibuprofen every four hours and walked for twelve hours every day. He walked 150 miles after he fell and made it to Pennsylvania. He stopped to rest in a hotel for a few days, but the pain got worse. He hobbled to an urgent care clinic across the street. The doctor told him his hike was over and his left leg was broken. Dwight was devastated. He rented a car and drove home to see an orthopedic surgeon. After six weeks of elevating his leg, with the doctor’s caution to listen to his body, he got a ride from his parents back to Pennsylvania and started walking. He walked 40 miles and could not go on from the pain. He called his parents; they were still in Pennsylvania, waiting to make sure he was doing well, so they picked him up. Dwight knows this setback didn’t surprise God. God was protecting him and preparing him for something.

The more Dwight thought about God’s protection, the more peace he felt. Instead of completing the through-hike, he would finish the hike the next year from where he left, near Palmer, Pennsylvania. He stopped thinking about what he could do and started thinking about what God could do through him. Dwight kept off his leg and then started training again. The hardest thing was to be inactive. He continued posting his YouTube videos. His connection to the trail was that he kept his hair uncut. If he cut it, it would be saying, “It’s over.”

After healing, Dwight conditioned for weeks by hiking 20 miles or more with a pack daily. His wife and daughter drove him back to Pennsylvania and he hiked again.

Dwight shares highlights from the states on the A.T. New Jersey is beautiful. New York had horrible source water Dwight found but local people would set gallons of water at the side of the trail for hikers. He could see New York City from the trail. Connecticut was amazing, walking for miles next to the Housatonic River. In Massachusetts, Mount Graylock began the last chapter of the journey. Dwight felt better and moved faster than he had in 2018. On Mount Everett, Dwight was distracted picking blueberries and almost stepped on a huge rattlesnake! Massachusetts was also loaded with mosquitoes that choked him as he breathed. In Vermont, snowmelt made the trail muddy. Vermont trails also went straight up mountains instead of having switchbacks and the trail was eroded to the rocks. New Hampshire has epic mountains he climbed on his hands and knees. Dwight went slowly to experience the beauty of God’s creation. There were huts above the treeline where hikers could work for lodging. Maine is rugged and beautiful. It has the toughest mile of the trail, the Mahoosuc Notch, a valley filled with massive boulders that can take four hours to get through. The day before Dwight arrived, a hiker with a broken had to be evacuated. There were windy, rocky mountain balds to climb. Dwight made it to Mount Katahdin in Baxter State Park and it hit him that he had made it almost to the terminus. He got a permit when he arrived and started up Mount Katahdin the next morning to the terminus.

Dwight had a heart of thanksgiving, being able to fulfill his hiking dream the way God wanted. Some people hike the trail searching for answers. If you don’t have a higher purpose in life, you can end in a bad place. The trail isn’t the answer. God is the answer. Dwight lives by the motto “Keep hiking,” which means keep at it and don’t give up. Keep living, keep dreaming.

Jim states that perseverance is part of God’s plan to develop character. God has a purpose for you. We are not our own, but we are His, bought with a price. Jim affirms Dwight humbly accepting God’s way to accomplish his goal and not destroying himself or his marriage by pushing on through his injury. Jim honors Dwight’s wife for supporting and helping him accomplish this task.

When Dwight felt low and wanted to quit, God showed up. Dwight has many stories about God’s blessings that helped him persevere. He learned five life lessons from his trip: God’s faithfulness is sufficient. God’s appointments are intentional. God’s thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways. God’s will is for me to walk with Him because He’s always walking with me. God’s plan is for me to lift Him up, not myself. Dwight concludes that no matter how hard life is, you can persevere by walking with God. Jim affirms these life lessons and honors, Dwight, for how he prepares for everything he does.

Call to Action: Jim invites listeners to get out of their chairs in October 2020 and walk 100 miles in 50 hours around Sam Smith Park in Cartersville, Georgia. Train for it and walk with Jim and Sleeves. Develop habits that will carry over. Find our podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, rate it, subscribe, share it, and help us get this word out! Send Jim an email with your suggestions on guests.

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Jon is 41, he comes from a loving and faithful family in Marietta, GA and is the youngest of four. His mother was “the glue” of the family and his father was a carpenter and Jon and his brother spent summers at job sites with their father. One sister recently passed.

Jon’s oldest brother had a big problem while there was a financial downturn. His parents gave up everything they had to help him. Jon was about 15. He went to work after the ninth grade, first with his father and then with his older brother, shoveling asphalt. That gave Jon a little bit of money and a nice car.

Besides working for his brother, Jon started dealing drugs to coworkers for extra money. Jon talks about the temptations of this world. Now, he puts faith in our Lord Jesus Christ to help him make the right decisions.

Jon started selling marijuana but moved on to other drugs. Jon was still productive at work and living at home. There wasn’t enough money in the house. Jon didn’t want his mother or father ever to worry.

When methamphetamines hit Atlanta, Jon started making money selling methamphetamines. Jon details his addictions, arrests, incarcerations — once for two years — and relationships, including a brief marriage to a fellow addict.

One of the reasons Jon is clean and sober today is the memory of his mother. When Jon’s mother visited him in prison on Christmas, her tears broke his heart. He feels that God wanted him to see that, so he would determine to change his life. Jim affirms that Jon recognizes his choice to become addicted.

Jon still didn’t want to hear about God. He went back to using drugs from the street. Pharmaceuticals were starting to move onto the street. Jon talks about losing his father, in 2010, which helped him grow up. He went to a doctor and got Suboxone and Xanax to break his addictions. He stayed on them for years.

Jon went to work doing erosion management for a landscaping company. He made himself a valuable employee to keep the job. Jon prayed with his mother every night. For the last two years of her life, Jon took care of her financially and physically. Jon got hurt badly on the job and faced surgery with a year of recovery time and his mother was going in and out of the hospital. He didn’t want to have the surgery. He stopped the Suboxone and went to Pain Management. But he switched back to Suboxone. He stopped working for two years. For two years he paid the mortgage on his workers’ compensation pay. He also paid for home health workers for his mother until she passed.

Every night after praying with his mother, Jon went to his room and prayed for her. She was very ill. When his mother passed, Jon became very angry with God for taking her and for his other losses. He started back on methamphetamines, and lost everything at age 39, going back to jail. He was not eating right. He had arthritis and gout. He needed a wheelchair. Getting out, after eight months in County jail, Jon was determined never to use drugs again. He made promises to God. He fell short but he was trying to seek God. He was broken and humble. Gout and his other injuries provided a turning point. Still, he relapsed and was incarcerated twice again.

Jon thanks God for the important people in his life who have helped him. Jon talks of losing a good friend. Jon spent time with him at the hospital, praying in the chapel for his friend, reading the Psalms, and trying to bargain with God, all while doing methamphetamines. When his friend died, Jon almost went back to dealing. But he didn’t. He made the choice not to reject God. God had given him so much.

After Jon’s last incarceration, he knew there were three ways out of his addiction: death, prison, or treatment. He chose treatment. He is very thankful for the help he received and every day Jon is in the scriptures. Jon finally surrendered to God’s way. Jon says he has to choose the right path by faith. There is no power greater than our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jon is ready to die for what he believes in. He has come a long way from wanting nothing to do with God. Jon is sustained by feasting on God’s word in the scriptures. Jon talks about the facility where he went for help. Jon talks about being around faith. There is no power greater than God. Jon does not follow a “steps” program. Such programs have failed him.

Jim invites listeners to email him through Menbuildmen.com if you want to donate to the facility or encourage Jon. Any listener who needs help with addiction, contact Jim. Put your total dependence upon God. Jon praises God every day. Jon says, if you’re sick, open your heart to God. He will guide you and help you. It’s not cool to be a dealer or an addict. Hard work and clean living are cool. Jon hopes he can touch one person with his message. Jim affirms Jon for acknowledging that God is his sustenance. That is the mark of a man.

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Garrett is a below-knee amputee on his left side with extreme damage to his right leg. If he breaks his right leg again, he may never walk again. Garrett is 20 years old and is training for the 2022 Paralympics in Beijing, China.

In high school, Garrett began rebelling and challenging his father. Garrett thought he could deal with anything on his own. Garrett played football and wrestled. He loved individual sports more than team sports; he hated being in a position where he could fail his team.

Jim Nicklas and Garrett’s father both feared Garrett was going wayward. His father warned him many times that God would get his attention if he didn’t “tighten up.”

Jim and Garrett discuss the high-speed vehicle wreck of June 2, 2016, that changed Garrett’s life forever and for the better. Garrett has Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me,” engraved on his prosthetic. It was also on his wrestling shirt. Before the wreck, he wasn’t as sure of it but the way he survived the wreck convinced him of its truth.

In the hospital, despite smiling for his family, Garrett was depressed about his injuries. He almost acted on suicidal thoughts and he spent time in a mental hospital. He was angry at God. He is very grateful now to have recovered from those feelings.

In his Senior year, Garrett tried to play football but his right leg was too badly injured, so he moved on to wrestling again, getting to the second round in State wrestling for the first time.

The real change came for Garrett with snowboarding. Garrett had gone snowboarding as a child. His first experience using a prosthesis on a snowboard was terrifying and difficult but when he stepped on the snow he felt free again. His dad helped him up when he fell. Garrett didn’t imagine then that he would compete. His doctor put him in touch with Amy Purdy, a Paralympic snowboarder, and co-founder of Adaptive Action Sports, a 501(c) charity. Garrett was invited to Copper Mountain, CO. He hoped to learn from others there who had lost limbs and gone on to snowboard. One of the coaches told him they wanted to be in contact with him.

Before Garrett graduated, he got an invitation from Adaptive Action to go back to Copper Mountain to compete for their Sports club. Garrett flew out by himself and stayed at the home of a man who later became his coach. After Garrett’s first trip down the hill, the coach told him they needed to fix just about everything he was doing! By the end of the day, the coach said he had progressed “an insane amount.” The coach told him they would be in touch soon.

After graduation, they invited Garrett back. His family saw that having an apartment, a job, and training every day helped Garrett mature and come out of his depression. Garrett realized God had opened many doors for him to get into snowboarding. Garrett sees he has a big stage on which to bear witness to God and His goodness.

After a year on the club team, Garrett was invited to join the U.S. Development Team because of his points earned and the progress he had made. Garrett was one of the youngest athletes to qualify for the Team. He loved the Paralympic Center and the athletes. Jim observed a change in Garrett when he made the U.S. Team.

On the Development Team, Garrett competed in Finland, Norway, The Netherlands, and at an able-bodied event in Canada. Garrett was the first para-athlete to qualify for a bracket in an able-bodied heat. After that, Garrett moved up to the A-Team. The team is on hold due to COVID-19. Garrett is on the A-Team for the 2022 Beijing Paralympics. Garrett is currently third out of the five athletes on the A-Team and will compete against them and other athletes in the development program to be one of the three to go to Beijing. Now Garrett is in Georgia, working out and wakeboarding. Last summer, Garrett competed in able-bodied wakeboarding.

Garrett and his father drew closer to God through scripture reading and the Church and from seeing how Garrett has grown since his injuries. Garrett is more humble. Jim encourages Garrett to be an ambassador of Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20 “We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.” (NIV) The weightiness of representing Christ well changes us.

To continue moving forward in a sense of humility and implementing counsel is a mark of a man.

Garrett absolutely would not change anything. His life is a lot better. His faith is stronger. Things happen for a reason. Focus on what you can do with what has happened.

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Peter's story begins with his first experience in electric stick welding in ninth-grade shop class, then helping out at his family’s metal fabrication business, marrying his high school sweetheart, and moving with his wife to Texas to work his way through school while studying welding engineering at LeTourneau University. LeTourneau is one of two universities in America to offer a degree in welding engineering.

Peter describes his work history and the amazing experiences he had following his degree in welding engineering. He talks about working for welding equipment manufacturers, his family’s business, and offshore oil platforms, Peter assures young listeners that you don’t need to go to college to have a good career in welding.

A welder is qualified, not certified. A welder in a refinery might have over 100 to 200 qualifications regarding specifications, materials, process, material thickness, welding position, and many more.

Peter describes submerged arc welding that doesn’t require using a helmet. You set everything up, make your weld, remove your flux, knock off your slag, and hope you have a good-looking weld. It’s the workhorse of the welding industry. It is limited to flat and horizontal positions. Peter talks about trends in high-tech welding with robotics and parts automation. New, stronger alloys are being developed.

Jim notes that heat and pressure in a marriage strengthen the marriage bond.

Jim encourages young listeners that welding is a good, stable trade. You can make a lot of money doing it. You don’t have to go to college to do it. At the end of the day, you’ll be sweaty and dirty but you’ll have something you created you can be proud of. Almost everything you weld, you sign or stamp your name. This creates traceability but also pride and accountability. One of the marks of a man is being accountable for your actions. You’re accountable for your life.

Peter’s advice to young people: If you think you might like it, get your hands on it and try it. Once you try it, you’re going to like it.

Jim invites you to allow heat and pressure to continue to work in your favor, both in life and your marriage. Stay under the hood, get dirty, and get the weld done.

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Jim’s nephew Simon, is 17. He trapped for three consecutive years with Grandpa Jim. Simon had bought a set of used traps and he invited his Grandpa Jim to go field trapping with him. Grandpa Jim was a life-long hunter, but he only had trapped with water sets as a ten-year-old. Field trapping requires different traps and different methods than water trapping. Simon set traps for coyotes, foxes, bobcats, raccoons, minks, and muskrats. However, in the first year, they trapped skunks, owls, cats, and other animals they didn’t want. Simon has skunk stories to tell!

The first raccoon they caught was a forty-pound male on a dairy farm. Simon describes skinning the raccoon for its fur. They kept the fur, as it was Simon’s first. Simon’s first ‘money catch’ was a forty-pound coyote. Simon took it to a fur dealer, and it was the only one brought in that was caught in a leg-hold trap, instead of being shot with a rifle.

Simon and Grandpa Jim tell about checking traps day and night, rain or shine, snow or ice, and how they humbly sought help from a successful trapper as they progressed from being inexperienced and unsuccessful to being skilled and sometimes successful. As Simon learned, perseverance and patience are essential. You can do everything perfectly but you may have to come back to the trap for three days before seeing results. Field trapping involves enticing a specific species of animal to step on a two-inch circle of steel in the middle of a wilderness. Grandpa Jim especially loved watching the sunrise with his grandson, Simon, as they checked the traps each day before school.

Jim concludes that trapping was an ideal way to teach humility, perseverance, and patience — definite marks of a man that will help Simon throughout his adult life.

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Trey Andrews talks about his upbringing, an intervention by a respected high school teacher that changed his attitude, his Church youth group experience, and what led him into the Marine Corps and to the Mortuary Affairs Unit. Trey shares how they taught him to treat the fallen with the honor and dignity they deserve. He relates some of the brutal situations he encountered and with raw transparency, Trey discusses some of the conditions he observed and the harmful mental and emotional burdens he carries from those experiences.

Jim and Trey discuss the need to ask for help when you are carrying more than you can bear. Jim affirms Trey for having the mark of a mature man in recognizing when he needed help and in reaching out for it. Trey had his faith harshly tested when dealing with death, and he praises God for seeing him through the challenges and getting him past some dark days and nights. There is strength in acknowledging you need help. Trey is in the process of getting help. He hopes he influences others to reach out when they need help.

Jim concludes with an appeal to listeners to put weightiness into the eternal life that is in Jesus Christ.

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Host, Jim Nicklas interviews his long-time friend, Daniel Hadaway, about moving ahead after adversity.

Daniel grew up expecting to serve in the military, possibly as a Navy SEAL or an Army Ranger. In college ROTC, hearing about an upcoming deployment to Afghanistan, he dropped out of school to enlist in the National Guard for active duty. At around the same time, a developing, serious health problem made it clear he might be a burden on his team or might not be able to carry his load. After disclosing his condition on base during his medical exam, he was discharged from the National Guard. Daniel found that having his life’s plan blocked was a heavy burden for him.

Jim and Daniel discuss the significant decision Daniel made between insisting on pursuing what he wanted for himself or putting others first and choosing what would be good for all. Jim affirms that Daniel has moved forward without having everything figured out in advance. Jim notes that continuing to move in the midst of uncertainty is one of the marks of a man, characteristic of Godly masculinity. Daniel witnesses how he learned to trust in God and build habits of daily prayer and scripture reading, partly through finding a great church and community of believers that hold him accountable.

Listen in to hear Daniel’s advice on working your way forward after facing adversity.

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Who is your example of a man? Welcome to The Marks of a Man podcast. Each episode will present inspiring examples to learn from. Their insight just may change your lives.

Our host, Jim Nicklas, introduces The Marks of a Man podcast, defining what marks men as men. Jim’s guests will be transparent and speak candidly; they will be vulnerable and share their mistakes and successes with you. You can learn from them, see their behaviors and their lives, and see what has marked them as men. You can look for behaviors to emulate and examples to inspire you.

We believe the ultimate masculinity is in one man — the “God-man” — Jesus, the ultimate man who walked the face of this earth, whom we can emulate and live our lives after.

Our target launch date is July 15, 2020. Please tune in. Jim believes you can glean important insights from the show.

See our website: MenBuildMen.com

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