Ericka Andersen: Recent Episodes
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Let’s get real about a tough topic: binge drinking and women. It’s a conversation that we often avoid, hiding behind humor and clinking glasses. But the truth? We need to bring some light—and some empathy—into what it really means when we pour ourselves another round. This isn’t about shame. It’s about honesty, courage, and a dash of tough love to say: We deserve better.
Binge drinking takes fewer sips than you think. When women are surprised they’re struggling with drinking, it’s often because they didn’t see the warning signs on the way.
What Is Binge Drinking (and Are You Doing It Without Realizing)?First, let’s define it. According to the CDC, binge drinking for women means consuming four or more drinks in about two hours. That’s it. Four drinks. It’s not the wild party weekend or the out-of-control night we might picture. For many women, it could be dinner and a few glasses of wine with friends—an experience that feels entirely normal.
>>> Do You Have a Drinking Problem? Click Here to Find Out.
And this is where it gets tricky. Many women don’t even realize they’re binge drinking. Social norms, stress relief rituals, and what we call “mommy wine culture” blur the line between casual drinking and something far more serious. We’re rewarded for staying strong and keeping it all together, and a drink becomes the coping mechanism we turn to—until it’s four drinks. And then it’s more. The slippery slope is real.
Why Binge Drinking Hits Women HarderHere’s the hard truth: alcohol affects women differently than men. Even at equal levels of drinking, women tend to have higher blood alcohol concentrations because of differences in body composition and metabolism. We have less water in our bodies, which means the same amount of alcohol stays more concentrated, and we absorb it differently.
So when women binge drink, we’re not just dealing with an equal playing field. We’re facing a deck stacked against us, with potentially faster and more harmful consequences. And that’s not fair—but it’s the reality we need to acknowledge.
Short-Term Effects: What You Might Not RealizeIn the short term, binge drinking can lead to poor judgment, memory loss, injuries, alcohol poisoning, and, unfortunately, higher risk situations, including sexual assault. I wrote about this and the disappearance of college student Lauren Spierer after a night of hard drinking here.
Women are more vulnerable to these dangers, and society rarely provides the safety nets we need. It is what it is.
There’s also the next-day fallout: headaches, fatigue, anxiety, nausea, and sometimes a sense of deep shame. It’s not just the hangover—it’s the emotional hangover. Binge drinking doesn’t just hurt our bodies; it chips away at our well-being as a whole.
The Long-Term Toll on the Female BodyNow for the long game. Chronic binge drinking has a slew of serious consequences for women’s health. It increases the risk of:
- Liver disease
- Heart disease
- Breast cancer (and other cancers)
- Hormonal problems that may affect fertility.
Then there’s the mental health impact: binge drinking often worsens anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. It’s a vicious cycle—drink to cope, only to find yourself in deeper pain.
And for women, the stigma around heavy drinking can make it harder to seek help. We’re supposed to “do it all”—but not lose control. This unspoken rule leaves many suffering in silence, afraid to advocate for themselves.
A Compassionate Approach to ChangeIf any of this hits close to home, know this: you’re not alone. I’ve been there and I’m here speaking out today because I know how many women struggle in silence.
The path forward isn’t about judgment. It’s about understanding and creating new frameworks in how we think about this. It’s recognizing the patterns and choosing something better for ourselves and the people we love when we have the right tools to do so.
If you’re ready to change your relationship with alcohol, start small. Being curious, landing here on this website, is an excellent first step. There’s no pressure to make an immediate change. I just encourage you to educate yourself and ask questions about the deeper things that led you here.
Reach out to a trusted friend, family member or member of your church. If it’s too scary to do in real life, tell someone online. Feel free to shoot me a message on Instagram — I’ll be your person as you begin. Be gentle with yourself as you untangle what has often been a deeply rooted coping mechanism.
Women are resilient. We navigate tough terrain with grace and grit. With God’s help, we can begin to rewrite our stories around alcohol, too. Together. One courageous step at a time. And by the way, no perfect people allowed!
Ready to Get Curious?If you’re exploring how to redefine your relationship with alcohol or simply want more resources on this topic, let’s keep the conversation going. Download my sobriety toolkit for Christian women here and join the party on Instagram. There’s a reason you found this page — don’t ignore your gut!
The post The Secret Lives of Unsuspecting Female Binge Drinkers appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Do I have a drinking problem? If you’re a woman who has ever had this thought, you’re in the right place. If you’ve ever thought it, Googled it, or uttered it to someone else, you likely at least have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
The good news is — this is normal and you’re getting curious about it. Awesome! I don’t want to scare you off, so stick around and lean into your questions about alcohol in your life!
Psst: Grab the resource list that helped me get and stay sober for 4 years now below:
ANCHORED IN GRACE: 10 Tools for Finding Freedom From Alcohol (DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE) In today’s world, the pressures and challenges women face can sometimes lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, including problematic drinking. Understanding the signs of a drinking problem and knowing when to seek help is crucial for maintaining well-being, health, and a strong connection with God.
As someone who spent years with a drinking problem — wishing, hoping and praying it away — I know exactly how you feel and want to dive into that today. I’m a Christian woman, mom, church member and author! I’ve had a lot of happiness and success in my life, but alcohol was still ruining me in mentally and spiritually. Four years ago, I finally found freedom and I’m just here to share that story with you.
Recognizing the Signs of a Drinking ProblemIdentifying a drinking problem can be challenging, especially when drinking is socially acceptable and often encouraged. However, several signs indicate that drinking might be becoming a problem:
- Increased Tolerance: If you find that you need to drink more alcohol to achieve the same effect, this is a sign of increased tolerance, a hallmark of problematic drinking.
- Drinking to Cope: Using alcohol to manage stress, anxiety, or depression is a red flag. While a glass of wine after a long day may seem harmless, relying on alcohol to cope with emotional challenges can lead to dependency.
- Neglecting Responsibilities: When drinking starts to interfere with your daily responsibilities, such as work, school, or family obligations, it’s a sign that alcohol is taking a central role in your life.
- Memory Lapses: Experiencing blackouts or memory lapses after drinking is a serious indication of overconsumption and potential alcohol abuse.
- Inability to Limit Drinking: If you often find yourself drinking more than you intended or struggling to cut down, this lack of control is a key indicator of a drinking problem.
- Withdrawal Symptoms: Experiencing withdrawal symptoms, such as anxiety, shakiness, or irritability when not drinking, suggests physical dependence on alcohol.
- Drinking in Dangerous Situations: Consuming alcohol in situations where it is risky or inappropriate, such as before driving or at work, signals problematic behavior.
- Isolation and Secretive Drinking: If you find yourself drinking alone or hiding your drinking from others, this secrecy can be a sign of an underlying problem.
You may recognize yourself in one or several of these “signs.” And there is a spectrum. What’s harmful for one person may not be for another. If you are a Christian and you feel even what’s considered a “small” amount of alcohol is harming you in some way, you’re still welcome here.
It’s not about the amount or even the behaviours, but about how it’s affecting our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits. No one “shouldn’t” be here if they found this page.
Why Women May Be More VulnerableWomen can be particularly vulnerable to the effects of alcohol for several reasons:
- Biological Factors: Women typically have a higher body fat percentage and lower water content than men, causing alcohol to be absorbed more quickly and stay in the body longer.
- Mental Health: Women are more likely to experience anxiety and depression, which can lead to self-medication with alcohol.
- Social Pressures: Balancing work, family, and social obligations can create significant stress, leading some women to turn to alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Maybe you’ve heard of “mommy wine culture”? All women, I think, are vulnerable to this mentality where wine solves everything. There are shirts, cups, kitchen signs, commercials, etc. Culture makes us think that wine or cocktails make everything better. In reality, they are a temporary bump on the road to feeling worse.
Alcohol is an addictive substance that doesn’t discriminate based on religion, location, marital status, job, or anything else. If you feel like you’re struggling with it, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and there are many people just like you out there.
When I was first asking myself these questions, I felt so alone. I had no idea how many other women were struggling or had already overcome. When you find the community, everything feels a little better.
Resource Guide: 10 Tools to Find Alcohol Freedom (DOWNLOAD)When to Seek HelpAcknowledging that you might have a drinking problem is the first and often hardest step. Here are some signs that it’s time to seek help:
- Concern from Loved Ones: If friends or family have expressed concern about your drinking, it’s worth considering their perspective and evaluating your habits.
- Negative Impact on Life: When drinking starts to negatively affect your personal relationships, work performance, or overall health, it’s a clear sign that help is needed.
- Failed Attempts to Quit: If you’ve tried to cut back or quit drinking and failed, it’s a strong indicator that you need professional assistance.
- Experiencing Health Issues: Alcohol-related health problems, such as liver disease, high blood pressure, or mental health issues, are serious and warrant immediate help.
As for me, number one never happend. No one ever acted “concerned” about my problem, because I kept it well under wraps. That doesn’t mean there’s not an issue, however. The reality is, if you feel it’s a problem, it IS. Once again, that doesn’t make you weak or wrong or sinful. It’s just what it is and you’re here trying to figure it out. Good for you!
Seeking Help and ResourcesIf you recognize these signs in yourself, it’s important to know that help is available. Here are steps you can take:
- Talk to a Healthcare Professional: A doctor can provide medical advice, support, and referrals to specialists.
- Counseling and Therapy: Therapists can help address the underlying issues contributing to your drinking.
- Support Groups: Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) provide community support and resources for those struggling with alcohol.
These are pretty generic ideas, but they are a good start. Please know that AA is not the only group around these days! You can find support in the following ways:
- The Luckiest Club support group (fantastic — lots of online meetings!)
- Sober Sis Community
- Sober Mom Squad
- She Surrenders (Christian community)
You can also check out my recent, feature article in Christianity Today on Christian women and alcohol:
Final ThoughtsUnderstanding the signs of a drinking problem and knowing when to seek help is vital for women who may be struggling with alcohol. It’s important to remember that admitting you need help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
“Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.”
Brene Brown
By taking the necessary steps towards recovery, you can reclaim your health and well-being, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol, don’t hesitate to reach out for help today.
The post Do I Have a Drinking Problem? appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
How young is too young to get baptized? When my 7-year-old son decided he wanted to follow Jesus and get baptized, it felt early. I was hesitant and wanted him to really know what he was doing.
Not that I don’t want him to, but because i wanted him to fully grasp, understand and truly choose for himself. But who am I to stop the work of God?
A few weeks ago, he was baptized and I wanted to talk with him a few things to prepare him for the future. Below, you will find the letter I wrote and read aloud to him.
>>>>> Raising Gospel Kids 101 Guide
I’m sharing it here because I think parents have often, accidentally, gotten it wrong. They haven’t adequately prepared their kids for the Christian life. Though I’m here with my faith in tact, many people I know are not and I think it’s partially because we weren’t given enough information.
I know this is not just about “information” and the Holy Spirit is essential in the saving of a soul, but I am also doing my due diligence to ensure my son’s faith is not rocked for no reason. Thus, I’m preparing him with some realities of the Christian life. Perhaps you will find it useful.
>>>> Read “Reason to Return,” a book for Christian women & moms
Some will continue to ask, how young is too young for baptism? From my understanding at this point, there is no age too young if the Spirit is at work.
Letter to a Young Child Being BaptizedDear Jacob,
I’m excited you’ve decided to accept Jesus into your heart and get baptized to show the world that you are a follower of Him. I know that you made this decision on your own because God moved your heart and you believe that Jesus died on the cross to save you (and all of us) from being punished for our sins, the bad choices we make.
Not only that, you know that God offers us eternal hope through Jesus’ death and resurrection. Because you are choosing to follow Him, you aren’t destined for death, but for eternal life. That is the best decision you could ever make in your life and something I have prayed for since before you were even born.
I wanted to share a few things with you as you step into this life as a Christian, things that weren’t always told to me. Because you’re making such a big decision at a young age, it’s just good to have some of these things in mind as you get older.
9 Thoughts to Help Prepare Your Child For Christian Life1. Life can be hard, but God is always good.
Life can throw you curveballs, difficult things that you aren’t expecting. Sometimes you’ll encounter some really hard feelings, people and situations. The tough things in this life are because we live in an imperfect, sinful world. That isn’t how God wanted it, but it’s what happened because He gave us free will to choose. If we didn’t have that free will, we couldn’t love God or anyone else, because love isn’t love unless it’s chosen and not forced.
The Bible says that God “works all things together for the good of those who love Him.” This doesn’t mean everything will always turn out grand, but that God has a greater plan for you as a Christian and you can trust that plan.
2. It’s okay to have questions.
Sometimes it may seem like oh I’m a Christian so I should just believe what the pastor tells me or what the Bible says. Yes, the Bible is true, but it can also be confusing and hard to read at times. Yes, pastors do their best, but they are also just people who can get things wrong. So when you have questions or something doesn’t make sense, that’s totally fine. God actually delights in our questions because it means we’re trying to get to know Him better.
In fact, Jacob in the Bible “wrestled with God” about some things he was struggling with. So talk about your questions and seek answers because many smart men and women over the years have done the same. And there is usually an answer or explanation. Not always. God is infinitely mysterious so we will never know or understand everything, but if we did, He would no longer be a God right?
3. Prayer first.
No matter what is going on in your life – now or when you are a grown-up – I hope you will pray first. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even if it feels like God’s not listening. When we pray, we open up our hearts to the power of the Holy Spirit and we ask God to bring a heavenly presence to us…to fight the battles of darkness with the warriors of heaven. If you don’t know what to pray, you can just say “Help me, God.” If you don’t want to pray, you can just pray “God, help me to want to pray.”
4. There is evidence for our Christian faith.
There are a lot of religions in the world, right? Sometimes, people ask how could you possibly know what’s right? It’s a good question. I want you to know that we didn’t teach you about Jesus because we “hope” we are right. We taught you about Jesus because we believe that He was a real man who walked the Earth, was crucified and rose again. That’s not just a story in the Bible, it’s something that actually happened and there is documented evidence outside of the Bible that it did. Jesus lived and was known, crucified on the Cross for no reason and was seen by numerous people many times over after He was resurrected. Jesus fulfilled many dozens of prophecies from the Old Testament and the Bible has been historically replicated thousands of times over any other ancient document.
The Bible seamlessly fits into history and though it was written by many people, it all comes together perfectly. Jesus himself said the Bible was true and He was the God that resurrected we can trust him on that. His disciples, who knew Him in the flesh, devoted their lives to spreading Christianity after Jesus went to heaven and they all died martyrs for their faith. No other religion has evidence like this. So we can stake our claim in Christ on faith, but that faith is always backed up by science, history, archeaology and more.
5. Your identity is in Christ.
You are a boy and a son and a brother and a cousin. You have white skin and were born in Indiana. But the most important thing about YOU and everyone you meet is that you are made by a God who loves you and in His image. He made you for a reason, on purpose, for this time in history.
So if anyone ever makes you feel bad about yourself, or criticizes you for something, you can remember that it’s not what others think that matters. What really matters is what God thinks of you and are you obeying Him?
6. Sometimes God gives us rules or plans that don’t make sense.
Because we’ve only been around for a few years, but God has been around forever, sometimes it’s hard to know what the BIG plan is. Maybe you have to wait a long time for something you think is good. Maybe something bad happens and you don’t know why. Maybe God tells you to do something really specific or weird, and your not sure about it. God’s plans are bigger than our plans. Talk to older Christians like me and Daddy or Pastor Scott or someone like that if you are wondering what’s going on.
7. You will encounter people who will tell you are wrong or foolish.
The Bible says that the people “of the world” (those who don’t know Jesus) will not understand the things of the Spirit. It won’t make sense to them because their eyes are not opened. You can’t expect to convince then you are right. The best thing to do is go back to the Bible, to pray for them, to talk with older Christians who can help you remain strong in your faith.
The world is a big place and it’s difficult for anyone to grasp the reality of God. However, the best explanation for a world created to perfectly suited to human life and with such incredible beauty with intelligent beings like people is that there was a Creator behind it all. Few have been able to argue with that.
8. Sometimes you’ll be misunderstood.
Sometimes when we are living our lives according to God’s rules, we will look weird, different or even hostile to the rest of the world. The world says you should just always do what makes you happy and whatever you “feel” is the most important thing about you. That is not true. The most important thing about you is that God made you, loves you and you decided to follow Him. When you decided to follow Him, you decided not to follow the world. And you can expect for other people not to get it!
What we can always do is go back to the Bible and read what it says. If you are struggling with a decision, you ask God what He says and then you live by that. It’s getting harder these days.
Sometimes people could even call you “hateful” simply for believing what God says about human beings, but the best thing you can do is pray for those people, love them in action and continue seeking to glorify and please God. He is our highest authority and no one else really matters.
9. If you’re ever feeling lost or unsure about where God is, it’s okay.
You don’t have to tell yourself you “shouldn’t” feel that way. God gave us feelings and complex minds and emotions. They are not wrong! He also gave us the tools to deal with hard things. So before you run to the Internet or a friend, run to God.
Run to prayer, open the Bible and talk with a trusted Christian friend/older person. The Bible says “seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” It might not happen right away, but you can know that God is always listening and He will not lead you astray if you are doing your best to follow Him.
We’re all just doing this parenting thing the best we can. These may not be the perfect things to say, but I felt called to write them and speak them to my son. So many people are caught off guard by things related to faith as they reach young adulthood. There will be some of that still, but I hope by providing some of this insight early, it will be helpful to his faith.
A new book for Christian Women: Reason to Return by Ericka AndersenPractical. Compassionate. Vulnerable. An honest, compassionate and Biblical book inviting women into a deeper relationship with God through embodied, faith community.
This book includes chapters on finding a new church, overcoming church hurt, how to raise your kids with a strong faith foundation and why the local church matters to your holistic faith journey!
Get a Copy Now!The post When Younger Kids Get Baptized: 9 Things I Told My Son appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Raising Christian kids is a top priority for parents who are Believers, but how do we do it in a modern culture that does everything possible to topple the faith of our children? Parents, more than ever before, are determined to disciple and teach their kids the Truth, so let’s talk about it.
Raising Christian Kids in a Faith-Hostile WorldThe monumental task of shaping little minds toward Christ was an abstract thought in the years I longed for motherhood. It was stored somewhere beyond the imagined positive pregnancy test and fuzzy ultrasound image I hoped for.
Eventually, and thankfully, those things became reality for me. After giving birth to two babies in two years, it took some time before discipling my children landed on the to-do list. Ideas of Biblical literacy and meaningful liturgy bowed to the immediate needs of mothering. Feeding, bathing, rocking, comforting and playing took precedence, as did sleep, survival and sanity.
I blinked and soon enough, they were walking, talking tiny humans with their own distinct ideas and preferences. The time to “train them up” had arrived, but I was outmatched and unprepared for the world of toddler theology. I would squeeze in a few words of a Bible verse before someone had a meltdown over the wrong kind of Cheerio or devolved into giggles over the word “butt.”
Prior to motherhood, I planned to merely model a Christian life. Subconsciously, I knew I’d rely on the church to supplant much of the educational portion of this. It didn’t take long to realize that singing “Jesus Loves You” and dropping them off at the church nursery for one hour a week wasn’t going to cut it.
Shaping Minds and Forming CharacterIt was overwhelming, this important task of breaking down Biblical complexities into digestible bits. But if we can cut their actual food into small pieces, we can do the same with the spiritual nourishment of knowledge and truth.
The shaping of minds, carving of character and cultivation of critical thinking and integrity is imperative and begins right away. The days of relying exclusively on our churches are gone, as cultural influence increases and theological education ebbs in even those arenas. Seven years into this parenting gig, I believe it is more important than ever for Christian parents to see themselves as primary faith leaders for their children.
Christian families of many denominational hues are starting to take it more seriously, accepting the responsibility of delivering sound, spiritual nourishment at home.
In general, the West is in a cultural cycle that produces less religiosity as time goes on. Pew finds adults identifying less each year with their childhood faith and Lifeway research shows that 2/3rds of young adults stop attending church between the ages of 18-22. Today’s kids will fare even worse if these trends continue.
Worldly culture is more persuasive, and apt to shame those who don’t capitulate than ever before. Christian kids today must understand the foundations of their faith – and why they believe what they do – if their faith is going to survive adulthood.
When I discovered a little company called Tiny Theologians, I immediately ordered their flashcards, marked for ages 2 and up. As I began rehearsing the terms with my kids, I realized how much my own theological knowledge was lacking.
Sunday School is Not EnoughI grew up in church, sanctified by Sunday School and baptized at 11 in a grimy church camp lake under a wooden cross and a hazy, setting sun. And yet, I barely escaped adolescence clutching my own fledgling faith, and witnessed friends succumb to doubt and deconstruction along the way. Could the lack of understanding and knowledge about my own faith be part of the problem? I was confident it was.
Gallup found that about 35% of Americans in their early 20s identify as religious “nones” and that number continues to increase. Knowing the dire numbers altered my perspective on the faith challenges my children might face. It moved me toward a more intentional kind of parenting in faith, as I recognized my primary role as CEO of my kids’ religious life.
Make no mistake, mama, you are the most powerful influence on your children as it relates to everything from education to lifestyle to religion. When it comes to faith, the influence is undeniably strong. Data from the National Study of Youth and Religion found that 82% of children whose parents talked regularly about faith at home, attached great importance to their religious beliefs and were consistently active in church, stayed active and faithful in young adulthood.
82% of children whose parents talked regularly about faith at home, attached great importance to their religious beliefs and were consistently active in church, stayed active and faithful in young adulthood.
National Study of Youth & Religion
Outside of solid family teaching, consistently weekly church attendance is a primary marker for thriving in life in faith in adulthood. This is encouraging, but doesn’t explain why so many people are leaving the church or experiencing significant doubts in young adulthood. Even my own sister – who grew up singing hymns and acting in the church Nativity play with me – encountered a crisis of faith that she’s still battling.
Millennial and Gen X Christian kids are flailing because they often have no concept of Christian apologetics, doctrinal truths or church history. We can change that for our kids, the next generation! Now that we know that we were, perhaps, spiritually malnourished, we can shephard our kids differently.
The Most Important Task We HaveIt is a tremendous privilege to disciple and lead our children into a lifetime of faith. When it comes from parents, rather than the church, the lessons are even more meaningful. By intentionally developing a life centered on authentic faith in the home, I’ve discovered a deeper, richer relationship with God for myself – and other parents are finding the same thing.
Prior to parenting this way, my religious actions were private, quiet, and slipped in wherever they fit. Now, they are vocal, set apart, intentional and specific. Mamas, we can pray aloud because we want our children to hear that we can talk to God like a Father and a friend. We can voice our gratitude for the rising sun, the descending moon, our warm beds, cold lemonade, and healthy, happy bodies. We can thank Him for our dinner, our family, our creation. We can talk regularly about being image-bearers and light-bringers, forgiven sinners and love carriers.
>>>> Learn more about “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women”
We read scripture at dinner, attempting to insert Biblical truths between complaints about the meal and arguments over seating arrangements. It’s easy to get frustrated, but it’s the daily, single consistent moments of devotion that make a long-term difference. These cyclical actions, meaningful liturgies and contextual habits contribute to a lasting foundation and understanding. We can’t know God in a night. We can’t know Him even in a lifetime. Thus, there is no point in rushing our kids into Him. He will always be there, available for them to ponder and wonder at for eternity.
The enduring commitment to teach them is ever-worthy. By grounding our children in Scripture, teaching them how to access the Father and see Him in Creation, we help position them best to thrive in their faith for a lifetime. This is holy work that is best done through one’s daily, organic, mundane life – when God is revealed in the details, the dirt and the difficult. After all, God isn’t just at church. He’s at the dinner table, in the backyard, on the schoolbus and everywhere else we go.
>>> Looking for more faith-based guidance for your family? Check out my new book: “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women” available on Amazon & wherever books are sold!
Buy Now at DiscountThe post Parenting Tiny Disciples: A Sacred Calling for Moms appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
God and sex — do these two words go together? They do — and we’re talking about it on the podcast today!
Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. This is a ministry that serves Christian women and couples in finding healthy sexuality within their marriages and lives.
Juli is the author of twelve books, including the newly released “God, Sex, and Your Marriage,” and host of the weekly podcast “Java with Juli.”
In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. I love this so much because we desperately NEED discipleship in this area!
Recent Episodes:
- What do Know About Women & the Church with Ericka Andersen
- Sarah K. Butterfield: Cultivating Spiritual Practices for Busy Moms
- Paige Rien: A Former HGTV Star & the Sober Faith Journey She Never Expected
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Seeking a deeper faith life or want to get back into building your spiritual foundation? Check out my new book, “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women” by Ericka Andersen, available now wherever books are sold!
The post Juli Slattery: God, Sex and Your Marriage appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
How do you get to a book idea? For “Reason to Return,” it began with God’s leading my family to a small church home in Fishers, Indiana. This week, I got to share with my church family how they played a role in helping create this book.
Here’s the talk I gave and the written speech (not actually full transcript) below:
Six years ago I walked into Waterline Church with a 1-year-old on my hip, hoping to find a new home church in my somewhat new town. My husband and I had moved to Fishers, Indiana two weeks before our son, Jacob, was born and had been church hopping for the year. But I was ready to find a real church home.
Previously, we’d attended a megachurch in Washington, DC but we knew we wanted to a smaller place to call home. After posting in a mom’s Facebook group about church suggestions, I made a list of those that seemed appealing and started scheduling out when to go. We tried a few spots, but the buck stopped with Waterline.
I think I remember Janet welcoming us in that first day and everyone was so kind, welcoming and friendly. The first day our former pastor John Freed preached a sermon that was based on a book by our former pastor in DC, Mark Batterson. Mark’s preaching and books had made a big impact on Rick specifically and we really loved him.
A Sign From GodAfter church that day, we both said how friendly it was and thought it was a sign from God that John preached from Mark’s book. We pretty much settled on Waterline after that! It was soon after that that my first book, Leaving Cloud 9, was published and Waterline came behind Rick and I in prayer and support. I remember leaving a prayer request note to pray for the book’s publication and received a call from John later that afternoon – excited to pray over the process and support me however he could.
Since then, John and Danielle have been maybe my biggest supporters of that book as they continue to share it with pastors and congregations through their work now! But back to the story back then…
It was just after that time in 2018/2019 that I saw the great work the Freeds and Waterline were doing with church planting. I had been freelance writing a lot more and become really interested in how faith life plays a role in pushing back against depression, addiction and more. As I researched I became simultaneously fascinated by church planting. See, at first I didn’t get it. Weren’t there enough churches? But John and Danielle were SO committed to creating more. I wanted to know why. So I attended one of their church planting boot camps and started doing more research.
Church Planting MattersWhat I discovered was that a church that plants another church within 5 years had a better chance of staying a live longer. I learned that new church plants are one of the best ways to reach unbelievers or those who are likely to come back to church.
And I began to learn about the incredible power of church community. That those who attend church regularly are far less likely to suffer from depression or suicide, that they are happier, have better relationships, significantly better mental AND physical health. This was for kids and adults. And I learned that kids who attend church regularly turn out to be healthier, happier adults. I was fascinated and wanted to tell everyone!
I had my first major piece published in the Wall Street Journal on this topic in 2019!
Why Women LeaveI knew I wanted to write my next book at this in some way. When I ran into some statistics about how women were leaving the church at a much faster rate than men – specifically in the last 10 years – I stopped in my tracks. Why was this happening?
At the same time, I discovered that women weren’t leaving church because they were done with God or faith but for a whole variety of reasons, from overwhelm and busyness to feeling shut down by their questions or doubts.
Still, studies showed they cared deeply about their relationships with God. It hit me – these women are the ones who desire faith community and maybe need any invitation back to something that works for them.
The phrase: The Church of your past doesn’t have to be the church of your future has stuck with me from day one. It was the original subtitle of my book, Reason to Return…and though we changed it, I still believe it’s true…that sometimes women need permission to try something new.
I also realized how little I had been taught growing up about why church community mattered. And when you don’t know they WHY it’s easy to stop seeing at as important. And so….this is how Reason to Return came to be.
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Where the Foundation Was LaidBut really it started out many years ago, when as a little girl, my mom started taking us to church as kids. Since my memory begins, I’ve bee n going to church on Sundays. And though my Dad wasn’t really into it, my mom persisted and getting us three girls there each week. She created this foundation in my life, one that has sustained me for decades…so that every time I move somewhere new or am in an unfamiliar environment, the first thing I look for is the church.
I have vibrant memories of singing praise songs in Spanish under a hot, tin roof church in Venezuela. I remember the beautiful African voices that rang out as we sat singing together on raw cut wooden benches in Kenya. I sang next to elderly folks in a nursing home and an out of tune piano and worshiped outdoors at the beach in Charleston, SC with my church when i loved there. When I traveled to India alone, and was picked up by strangers int he middle of the night, I was terrified but when my host home had a picture of Jesus on the wall, my fears were quelled.
Wherever I went in the world, the church surrounded and calmed me and I found God there no matter where I was.And when I was seeking to find freedom from eating disorders, alcohol, depression….you have been there. Now, then and in the future.
God is the is the One who was, and is, and is to come. He is the eternal I AM. And for me, his Church as been that eternal structure. I’ve heard it said that the local church is like an embassy of Heaven on earth. When we walk into these spaces, we are experiencing a small bit of heaven. We’re not really here on earth anymore. And that is the coolest thing I’ve maybe ever heard.
So I’m thankful for Waterline and what you’ve been to me. And how God used you to lead me to this book that will hopefully bring more people back to Him and honor His name in a way that is truly glorifying.
Interested in staying in touch? Subscribe to my email list for Christian women here!
The post The Small Church Home That God Used to Write a Book appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
*Guest post by Sarah Butterfield.
On the way home from yet another new church, my husband turned to me at a red light, and said: “Maybe we should write a book. We could go to a different church every Sunday and write about it. We’re basically doing that already!”
I snorted. “That sounds horrible.”
And it was horrible. We had moved from Michigan to Texas over a year ago, and we’d been church-hopping ever since. We had expected to find a church home right away, like we had done every other time we had moved. So it was with great confusion and dismay that we were still spiritually homeless.
Warning SignalsBoth my husband and I were long-time Christians who had always gone to church. As a married couple, we had felt most comfortable in non-denominational Bible churches as we moved around the country collecting higher education degrees.
We expected to have no trouble finding a church in our new home in Texas. But there was a problem: a vague “check engine” light was blinking in my soul, pointing to something wrong but not spelling out what needed fixing.
After a few months of attending a church whose congregants were friendly and warm in their welcome, my husband and I sat in a circle around the pastor for a new-member meeting. A woman sitting across from us twirled the ends of her long, blonde hair as she asked him a question about reconciling our faith with the evidence we have about evolution.
>>>> What to Know About Women & the Church
I glanced at my husband and leaned forward in my chair, eager to hear the pastor’s approach. Instead of the thoughtful discourse I was hoping for, the pastor shifted in his seat, mumbled something unintelligible, and moved on to his next point.
I was devastated. On the way home from church, we took turns voicing our sadness and frustration. The “check engine” light was flashing at us, letting us know we didn’t belong here. Now we understood what the problem was: there was no room for doubt, no space for questions in these churches. Just a dogged determination to be right, to worship at the altar of certainty, and to defend the position at all costs.
I wish I could tell you that we kept going to church because of our deep spiritual maturity, but mostly it was just out of habit. It wasn’t long before we discovered that it’s possible to leave church even while you still warm the pew every Sunday morning. It’s possible to sing all the songs and pray all the prayers as lip-service while your heart searches for the faith it once knew. It’s possible to play the part of the nice Christian and hide your broken heart behind cynicism and exasperation.
>>>> How to Find a New Church (A Mini-Guide)
I know this because I lived this.
In God’s great mercy, we discovered that we were not alone in our feelings about the church. We found others who were as discontented as we were and who voiced their feelings online. Back then, I didn’t have the language to describe how my faith was changing in ways that made me feel like I didn’t belong in church anymore. Knowing that there were others with the same struggles was the grace we needed during those years.
Finding ChurchMoving from Texas to California for my husband’s job was the fresh spiritual start we needed. We made some intentional decisions before our first Sunday in our new home. We would not church-hop. We would choose a church within a specific denomination. We would stay within five miles of our home. We would get involved within the life of our church.
These decisions led us to the church we’ve been a part of for ten years now. It’s not perfect, but there is room for us here. We’ve stayed committed, even through the occasional disagreement or disappointment. We have been rewarded by growing in new ways, by developing a stronger sense of community, and by the opportunity to offer ourselves to build up the local body of Christ.
God is at the front of the classroom, telling us that the Christian faith is a group project. Maybe, like me, you are the one groaning in the back. “I wish it wasn’t true,” you might be thinking, “I wish God and I could fly solo, not having to rely on the people sitting next to me, and not having to be relied upon.” Community within a body of believers can be as beautiful as it is messy. But the trajectory of Genesis through Revelation reveals that we were made for this, to be better together.
As Ericka Andersen writes in her book Reason to Return:
“We will always feel a spiritual ache for more when we aren’t part of a local church (…) We were created for a very special and sanctified kind of community. Without it, each of us is a missing appendage floating in spiritual space and unable to be fully grounded or known.”
I don’t know where you are on your spiritual journey, whether you’ve given up on church or the church has given up on you. I share my story here in the hope that it will encourage you to seek out a community of faith, and to consider how your presence in the church and the church’s presence in your life has the potential to enrich us all.
*This post is part of the “Reason to Return” blog series. Read more from this series:
- The Local Church: Where Transformation Happens
- Experiencing Church: Lessons on What Church Really Means
- Leaving Church? We Found a Better Way
- The Power of Being Plugged In: Why Church Family Matters
- The Joy of Needing & Being Needed in the Local Church
- When Our Baby Needed Open Heart Surgery, the Church was There
- That Still, Small Voice
The post Finding Church When You Feel Like You Don’t Belong appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
In this episode of the podcast, Ericka Andersen talks about her new book for Christian women, taking the hot seat with her friend, Beverly Hallberg. Bev interviews Ericka about the vision behind the book, “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women.”
In this conversation, Ericka talks about the moment God gave her the idea for this book, the fascinating data behind it and how her personal experiences are woven through the book.
A New Book for Christian WomenThis book is for Christian women of all shades: those who have left the church, those who are thinking about it or those who care about the future of the church. It’s also for church and ministry leaders who want a peak inside the minds of women — those who are leaving in droves.
Facts to consider:
- More than 16 million women have left church in the past decade
- Women are leaving church at faster rates than men for the first time in history
- The top thing women say they want to improve is their faith life, but it’s often put last on their priority list.
- Those who attend church regularly have significantly better rates of mental health, physical health, better relationships and are far more generous.
- Churchgoers make up the highest rate of parents who foster and adopt.
But it’s not just about data points. That will never be the impetus for someone returning to faith community. This is about the inner drive that women admit they have to form a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.
God created the local church to support and encourage us through our Earthly lives. He also imprinted us each with spiritual gifts that serve to make whole the Body of Christ. God loves the Church as his “bride,” which means we too are called to love the Church, despite her imperfections.
What You Need to Know About ChurchWhat I’ve found as I’ve interviewed and researched over the past several years is that many people give up. One of my primary messages in “Reason to Return” is this: The church of Your past doesn’t have to be the church of your future.
In the United States today, church doesn’t have to look one way. The original word for church is “ekklesia,” which simply means a gathering of people.
Order “Reason to Return” Now
When I read the book of Acts, I don’t think of a church building. I think of a bunch of people outside listening to some great teaching, eating a meal together, providing for one another on a daily basis, communing and crying, praising and working.
This is church. Whether that’s 5 people in a living room or 2,000 people in an old warehouse, church doesn’t look the same for every person. I challenge women to think outside the old boxes and consider something new.
This is the book that has been called:
- “Refreshing and inspiring”
- “Truthful and loving”
- “A beautiful and compelling vision”
- “An advocate for the underserved in our communities”
- “Compassionate, hopeful, practical.”
- “A book beckoning women home.”
- “A necessary message for women today.”
- “Pragmatic and Biblically based.”
To help ensure this message gets out to as many people as possible, please consider ordering a copy of the book now! When you do so, you’ll receive a FREE copy of the audio book (email receipts to navpressbooks@tyndale.com) & a stack of freebies at https://erickaandersen.com/reason-to-return.
If you’d like to join Ericka’s newsletter for Christian women, featuring updated data, practical faith steps, new podcast episodes and faith-based writing, subscribe here.
Recent episodes:
- Sarah Butterfield: Cultivating Spiritual Practices for Busy Moms
- Paige Rien: A Former HGTV Star & the Sober, Faith Journey She Never Expected
- Krystal Parker: Faith & Work Go Together
The post What to Know About Women & the Church with Author Ericka Andersen appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Sarah Butterfield is here for you, Christian mom! It was an honor to talk with her about spiritual practices for busy moms, especially as we enter a new year! Sarah is the author of Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time, a resource filled practical wisdom and biblical inspiration to help you steward your time faithfully as a busy mom.
Sarah helps women be intentional with their time with God and live well according to their Christian faith. Like me, Sarah is passionate about helping women find a deeper faith and do so in the midst of our busy lives as moms, employees and dreamers!
Recent episodes:
- Paige Rien: A Former HGTV Star & the Sober, Faith Journey She Never Expected
- Krystal Parker: Faith & Work Go Together
- Katy Faust: Child Rights Matter More Than Adult Desires
Buy “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women” by Ericka Andersen now!
The post Sarah K. Butterfield: Cultivating Spiritual Practices for Busy Moms appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Guest post by Cara Blondo
“You need to know your identity in Christ!”
I was a freshman in college, still recovering from a severe eating disorder. As a new Christian, one Sunday after church I asked for prayer. I don’t recall the specifics of what I shared or why I asked for prayer that particular day, but the pastor’s reply proved to be life-changing.
I had never heard of finding one’s identity in Christ. I asked the pastor’s wife if she would help me grow in this understanding.
For the next few years, she and others from the church invited me not only into their homes but into their very lives. I joined them while they ran errands and mopped their floors. I observed their marriages and their mothering. Each and every day spent with these women were centered around the Word of God, and specifically what God’s Word taught concerning my identity, worth, value, and what it meant to be His child.
>>>>>> How to Find a New Church (A Mini-Guide)
Their very presence in my life – their willingness to give of their time and energy – communicated to my young, hurting heart the very same message they were hoping to instill from the pages of their Bibles: Whose I was and who I was.
They showed me how to read my Bible and to believe God’s Word to be true, even when – especially when – my thoughts and emotions said otherwise.
Slowly, my mind was renewed. Slower still, I began to change from the inside-out.
Old thought patterns and habits faded away. I was finally experiencing the newness of who I truly was the moment I placed my faith in Christ a few years prior.
Making All the DifferenceDuring my battle with anorexia throughout middle and high school, I had a tremendous team of doctors and therapists. I am so grateful for how the Lord used them to help me get physically healthy.
However, nothing had changed inwardly throughout all of those years. I believed the same destructive thoughts that I had always believed. It was not until God’s Word was poured into my life and lived out in front of me that I began to change. This occurred because of the local church community.
>>>> Theology for Kids: 10 Resources for Christian Moms
It was through the relationships built with lovers of Christ that I came to know His love for me. It was through the dedication of His children that I learned what it meant to be His child. And it was as the women in the church served me that I caught a glimpse of the greatest Servant of all time: Christ Himself.
My life was changed by the Spirit working through the Word of God shared and lived out by the people of God.
While the ministry of these women began within the four walls of the local church, it extended far beyond those walls. I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians when he said that even if they had ten thousand instructors in Christ, they only had one spiritual father: himself (see 1 Corinthians 4:15).
Relationships: The Power of the Local ChurchWe can find teachers and their messages online, through podcasts, and in books – and God often uses them powerfully in our lives for His glory. But true relationships, where a mature woman of Christ can know you and speak into your struggles, doubts, and day-to-day life – and whose life you in turn can watch and eventually imitate, as Paul exhorted the Corinthians (see verse 16) – is where we find the key to tremendous growth and transformation.
The local church matters. Your presence in the local church matters. There is simply no substitute.
God is God. He could have accomplished His work within me in any way He chose. He chose, however, to use His children, the local believers found within my very own home church.
And I wonder: what might He wish to accomplish in you through the relationships He has waiting for you in the church?
>>>>>>>>>> FAITH After FUNDAMENTALISM
Equally important to consider is what might He wish to accomplish through you – as His vessel – in the lives of those sitting next to you, those you pass in the hallways, and those whom you would never meet without having been brought together in the context of the local church?
Remember Paul’s message to the Corinthians: there’s no shortage of those who can impart information. But to experience the transformation that the Holy Spirit can work in a life through the power of His Word, He will often choose to use His people.
Will you receive this blessing or respond to its privilege? Only God knows what awaits you!
*This piece is part of the “Reason to Return” blog series to discuss ideas within the new book, “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women” by Ericka Andersen.
Read more from this series:
- Experiencing Church: Lessons on What Church Really Means
- Leaving Church? We Found a Better Way
- The Power of Being Plugged In: Why Church Family Matters
- The Joy of Needing & Being Needed in the Local Church
- When Our Baby Needed Open Heart Surgery, the Church was There
- That Still, Small Voice
The post The Local Church: Where Transformation Happens appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
A church to visit near me. That’s one of the most common things typed into Google and brings up a litany of results. It can be overwhelming. If you are new to an area, or thinking about heading back to church for the first time in a long time, you may just be tempted to shut it down and give up.
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But if you got to this page, hear me when I say: Don’t give up! There are a ton of churches in the United States — and it really can be A LOT. I want you to find the right church for you, one that is doctrinally sound, welcoming, healthy and right for your family.
One of the reasons I wrote my book, “Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women,” is because I heard from so many women who struggled with this very thing. Freedom of choice is great, but lots of options can also be paralyzing. Fear not, friend!
There are several things you can do to weed out the churches that are definite “nos” and multiple steps of research you can take prior to even visiting a church, so you don’t waste your time. I’ve put together a simple course to help you walk through finding a church to visit near you!
5 Things to Consider When Picking a New Church1. Foundational, Biblical beliefs. Christian churches run the gamut on core beliefs, but you can rule out the ones that don’t align with the first tier issues of Christianity, including belief in the Trinity, inerrancy of Scripture and the doctrine of Salvation. Most churches list out their views on important faith issues on their website, which is a great place to start ruling out churches that don’t align with the Bible. 2. Primarily Biblically-based sermons. Sermons should be rooted in Scripture and exegetically preached in the full context of the full Bible story. Watch out for churches that strictly feature topical sermons or decontextualize Bible stories in effort to make a point. The Bible has more than enough to base a lifetime of sermons on and that is what a pastor should do. 3. Strong Children’s Ministry. Even if you don’t have kids, its important that a healthy church have a strong, discipling-focused kids ministry. These days, even some reputable curriculum is sometimes in question. Consider how organized and focused a church is on kids ministry and what they are teaching, as these are the next generation of Christians. 4. Community Involvement. While church is meant for the glorification of God and the edification of Believers, it should also be a visible presence in the larger community. We are called to love and serve others, and that includes our neighborhoods. Christians are a vital part of providing for the needs of others in a variety of ways. A healthy church will be invested in the local community. 5. A Focus on Discipleship. Discipleship is a key part of any healthy church. Are you seeing ways in which the church fosters mentorship relationships or offers opportunities for members to commune and connect outside of Sundays? As John Mark Comer says, we are “apprentices of Jesus.” One way we live that out is by learning from older, wiser Believers.
This is just the tip of the iceberg on what you might want to consider, but certainly some of the most important matters to my mind. I go into far more detail about in my course, which you can access here.
While I normally recommend people choose a smaller church, just for the fact that it is more intimate and comes with an easier, built-in community, I don’t necessarily thing that’s always the best choice. Here’s a thought I had on this recently?
List of Good Churches There is really not “AirBnb” of churches, but there have been some organizations that work to compile lists and I want to share some of those with you. I cannot give my endorsement to all the churches listed here, but it may help you as you begin your search:
- The Gospel Coalition’s Church Directory
- Association of Related Churches (ARC): Find a Church Map
- ChurchFinder.com
- Fresh Expressions
- Find a Church Near You
These are just a few of the places that you can go to help begin your search. My favorite way to find new churches near you is to inquire in local Facebook groups. When I started looking for a new church after moving, I reached out in a local moms group to see what ideas people had. Now, a lot of ideas came pouring so I still had to sift through the, but it gave me a good starting point.
Ultimately, I narrowed down the churches I wanted to try to a list of about 10. Then, I began investigating each of them one by one and deciding which ones I wanted to visit in person.
How Long Should You Try Out a New Church?My number one rule for when you visit a new church is not to judge it by the first visit! Every church has off days, or off weeks. Unfortunately, sometimes “church shopping” (for lack of a better term) can sometimes feel a tad like online dating. Thus, I would always give a church about 3 weeks if you are making a big decision like this. You want to be fair and ensure you aren’t skipping over something that might be right for you.
After three weeks, if it doesn’t feel right, then move on. Of course, always approach these decisions in prayer first, asking the Holy Spirit to guide the way, but also be rationale and realistic about your choices.
Making a Final Decision on ChurchDeciding what church to attend is a big decision, because you are committing to a people when you do so. That’s why you want to put a lot of thought into this. So how do you actually make that final decision?
It may take several months to settle on a church. You will need to pray, visit multiple times, explore their foundational beliefs, maybe even set up a meeting with the pastor or church leadership. I firmly believe that God will not lead you astray if you are open to His leading in this matter.
>>>>> Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women
Once you do choose, it’s important to know that you are now a part of this local body. Assuming they have formal membership opportunities, you should commit as a member and find ways to begin cultivating service within the community. Church is not a spectator sport. It’s one in which we give and receive, learn and love, break bread and make friends.
I wish you the best in finding a new church. If you’ve made it this far and still want to some help, go try out my How to Find a New Church 101 course!
https://www.amazon.com/Reason-Return-Women-Church-Needs/dp/1641585668The post How to Find a New Church (A Mini-Guide) appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
What Is Church? What is church? We often think we know, but the experience of church is much more diverse than most of us have witnessed. I think it’s important not to box “church” into one vision. It’s a gathering of Believers, but that can look may different ways. In this guest post from Elisa […]
The post Experiencing Church: One Woman’s Lessons on What Church Really Means appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
In this episode of the podcast, I speak with former HGTV star Paige Rien. She’s a former HGTV home improvement lead and current designer that helps people cultivate and love their homes! Her latest book is Revived & Renovated: Conversations on the Intersection of Home, Faith & Everything in Between. In it, you’ll find timeless […]
The post AFormer HGTV Star & the Sober, Faith Journey She Never Expected appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Do work and faith go together? In this episode, I speak with Krystal Parker, the President of the Florida Christian Chamber. She is passionate about integrating Christian faith into the workplace helping people make wise decisions about their careers and how they spend their money. Reminder: Most of spend 8-9 hours a day working. How […]
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Leaving church? Diane Newcomer has a story for you: Every few years, my husband and I get an itch for something new. Newly married, we moved to a city where neither of us had any connections. We joined a local mega church and got settled into community. When the opportunity to join a church plant […]
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When I first heard about Katy Faust’s organization, Them Before Us, I was intrigued. Childrens’ rights? Aren’t those built in? You would think so, but it’s not truly the case in modern society. Them Before Us is a global movement defending children’s right to their mother and father. What does this mean though? It means […]
The post Katy Faust: Child Rights Matter More Than Adult Desires appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
In this episode, I’m speaking with my friend Elizabeth Rhyno, who is what I would consider a joy coach (but more on that later!) She is a worship pastor, mom of three (fresh adults!), and faith life coach for Christian women. Elizabeth is truly one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met and she has […]
The post Elizabeth Rhyno: Finding Joy in All the Things appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
In this episode, I speak with Clarissa Moll, a friend, author, mother and recent young widow. Clarissa lost her husband of 17 years, Rob, in a hiking accident. She was left to parent her four children and deal with the traumatic aftermath of it all. In her grief, Clarissa has invited others alongside her online. […]
The post Clarissa Moll: Discovering Grace in Grief appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
by Gena Anderson, on the importance of the church family for Christians. *This post is part of the Reason to Return blog series. On an ordinary Monday I was getting ready for work and needed to blow dry my hair. I plugged in the dryer and flipped the switch to turn it on, but nothing […]
The post The Power of Being Plugged In: Why Church Family Matters appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Melissa Zaldivar is the author of a new Christian grief book, awesomely titled “What Cannot Be Lost: How Jesus Holds Us Together When Life is Falling Apart.” I spoke with Melissa about her life in New England, the story of losing her best friend to cancer and what she learned through the grief and loss […]
The post Melissa Zaldivar: How Jesus Holds Us Together When Life is Falling Apart appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Monica Ritchie is relatable, approachable and has a TON of valuable knowledge about the Bible that many of us fellow Christians can stand to hear more about. She went to seminary as a young mom and just recently graduated! As a Bible Teacher who loves theology, she often discussing hot topics on TikTok and Instagram, […]
The post Monica Ritchie: Lady Theologian For Normal People appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
by Sarah Seefeldt Follow Sarah on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to get up the next morning, get dressed, and go to a building with people who had argued rudely with my husband over a decision the committee had made. I didn’t want to go and see people […]
The post The Joy of Needing and Being Needed in the Local Church appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
What is a Christian cult exactly? My friend Leah grew up in what she calls a Christian “cult,” a super-fundamentalist church setting where women were routinely put down, disrespected and where she never heard that God loved her. To her, this is just what Christianity was. As she says, “When you’re in a cult, they […]
The post Overcoming a Church Cult Background: Leah’s Story (Interview) appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
by Becca Yager The local church I went to when I was growing up is what helped me come to know Jesus personally and grow in my relationship with Him. I went to the middle school youth group and then the high school one. I went to the Bible camp that is connected to that […]
The post When Our Baby Needed Open Heart Surgery, The Church Was There appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Christians and climate change — where do we stand? Betsy Painter is a creative writer and conservation biologist, who is passionate about environmental care and its human dimensions. She has studied Religion and Ecology in graduate school with a focus on the beautification of nature in the redemptive Biblical narrative and its implications for environmental […]
The post Betsy Painter: A Christian’s Guide to Planet Earth appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Is surrogacy bad news? Today, I’m talking with Jennifer Lahl, founder and president of The Center for Bioethics and Culture. She has written, commented and produced multiple films on the concerns and ethics of things like egg donors, surrogate pregnancy, sperm donation and the problems with the Big Fertility industry. Most people haven’t thought much […]
The post What’s Wrong With Surrogacy? Jennifer Lahl, Center for Bioethics & Culture appeared first on Ericka Andersen.
Christian sex advice has a bad rap. Sheila Gregoire is changing that. She’s been making waves in the Christian world for several years now. Her latest book, The Great Sex Rescue, dives deep into the patriarchal culture of Christian sex “advice” and ideology over the years. On social media, and in her book, she calls […]
*This post is part of the “Reason to Return” church series! by Paula Walker Baker Have you ever heard that little voice in the back of your mind that you are not altogether certain it’s you? Maybe it’s God whispering in your ear? I have had that happen so many times, yet discarded it as […]
Tiana Schowe doesn’t care about how many followers she has on TikTok, but she does have a lot of them — nearly 100,000. A couple of years ago, she started talking about her faith, evidence for it and whatever Biblical item God led her to that day. Her diligence and authenticity, willingness to address hard […]
Natalie Runion is a lot of fun to chat with. When I found her account, @RaisedToStay, on social media, I immediately knew I needed to get her on the podcast. Her own description is best here: “For those of us who have been called and crushed, loved and sometimes left, welcomed and wounded by the […]
Monet Carpenter is a beautiful, creative soul who is called to speak and help women process pain, find purpose and nourish their souls! On her website, she says this; “How we process the hard contributes to how we protect and grow our hearts.” She is a wife, mom, nurse, writer and founder of Purposed Box, […]
Anne Wilson is beautiful inside and out. The singer and songwriter from Kentucky has seen some of her songs rise to popularity quickly and her ability to create meaningful melody and lyrics are one-of-a-kind. I found her by accident, searching for songs about the Church. That’s when I stumbled upon her song, “Sunday Sermons.” I […]
Theology for kids. Have you considered it yet for yours? Most of the time, as moms, we are so swamped with the necessary, it’s hard to even think about the optional. I would submit to you that for Christian moms, this shouldn’t be optional! Helping your kids with the building blocks of theology is going […]
Kelly Speck never dreamed her newborn son would be anything but perfect, but just after birth he was taken to the NICU and thus began “a nightmare journey.” She was told her son wouldn’t live long, but he overcame the odds. This is her story as the parent of a child with special needs. That […]
In this episode, we hear from Nancy Pearcey, a prolific and inspiring Christian author who wrote the acclaimed book, “Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions About Life and Sexuality.” When so many of today’s sex and body issues are confusing, Pearcey gets directly to the point of our bodies, sexuality and existence as beings made […]
Raising Christian kids with strong faith roots is a top priority for Jesus-loving Moms, but it’s hard to know where to begin. What Christian kids resources or books are best? How do you know what you can trust these days? As a mom of two littles who has been navigating this space for awhile, I’m […]
In this episode, I speak with Chelsey Youman, Texas State Director and National Legislative Advisor for the Human Coalition. Chelsey has been on the frontlines of the abortion fight and THC represents thousands of women who have chosen life for their babies. Here, we discuss how pro lifers are coming together to make even more […]
Christie Thomas knows what it takes to help you disciple your children well. As the mother of three boys and a former children’s ministry director, she also knows it can be overwhelming. When I discovered Christie’s work last year, I was taken in a second. As I struggled to teach my littles about faith, I […]
Joni Earekson Tada is a name I’ve known for most of my life. I remember her book sitting on a bookshelf in my childhood church, her story of becoming a quadrapilegic at 17 years old after a diving accident. And yet, in the midst of this personal tragedy, she reached out to God and He […]
Hannah Keeley is known as America’s #1 Mom Coach (don’t we all need one of those?!) She has created Mom Mastery University with all kinds of classes and resources for moms and she trains Christian life coaches around the world. Oh — did I mention she’s a mom of 7 children? Yup — she’s got […]
Dr. Christina Francis is the Chairman of the Board of the American Association of Pro-Life OB-GYNs. I spoke with her for a story, but her answers were so incredible that I just had to deliver this interview as a podcast episode as well. Don’t miss her work here! In this episode, Dr. Francis answers questions […]
In this episode, I speak with Amanda Held Opelt, an author, mother and songwriter who lives in the mountains of North Carolina with her husband and two daughters. Amanda’s upcoming book, A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Meaning, she dives into her own grief over her miscarriages, the unexpected […]
The news is out: The Supreme Court is set to strike down Roe v. Wade, moving abortion rights back to the states. Rather than spend time arguing online with people, let’s get moving. Christians and pro-lifers are people of action (how do you think we got to this point in the first place? From the […]
Erin Wheeler is a gem and her love for the Christian Church is contagious! After I heard Erin on another podcast, I immediately knew I had to interview her. She’s written a beautiful book on the Church, why it matters, what it’s purpose is and she’s participating in her local church in admirable ways as […]
In this episode of “Worth Your Time” podcast, I speak with author, speaker and If Gathering Founder Jennie Allen! Years ago, Jennie told God she was up for “ANYTHING” God had for her life — which ultimately led to the If Gathering and her book (which made me fall in love with her!), Anything. Of […]
In this episode of Worth Your Time, I speak with Mikayla Albertson, author of the new book, Ordinary on Purpose: Surrendering Perfect and Discovering Beauty Amid the Rubble. Mikayla is a family doctor and mom of 5. She lived a life of striving and success, until one day God stopped her in her tracks. She […]
To hear popular culture speak of the American Church, you’d think it was chock full of exclusively immoral grifters out for their own. And sure, you’ll find people like that in every institution. But the truth is that the local church (and really, all religious institutions like it) does more for communities, society, families, and […]
In this episode of the podcast, I speak with Hunter Beless, the founder and host of the “Journeywomen” podcast, which has become one of my favorites over the years. I love Hunter’s focus because she digs deeply into theological topics and talks with some of the spiritual heavyweights many of us admire. At the same […]
It feels a little much to put this up on my website, but as I go through the “Experiencing God” study, it asks me each day what God wants me to do in response to my reading. Today I felt that action was to make a specific prayer list for each day of March for […]
In this episode, I speak with Tsh Oxenreider, a writer, podcaster, mom and world traveler. I first heard of Tsh years ago when she was working on her book about traveling around the world with her young family. I was fascinated and intrigued by her story and was so excited to have the opportunity to […]
As moms, we need encouragement frequently! The best place to find the most fulfilling of encouragement is right there in scripture.
We’ve all tried flipping open the Bible to random page and hoping to land on just the right verse. Sometimes it works. Often, it doesn’t. So I’ve got a cheat sheet for you, Mommas. We all get discouraged in motherhood, but it’s helpful to remember the promises of God in the midst of that.
Simply reading scripture aloud can literally change the trajectory of the situation. Even if you don’t feel like it, take a breath and read some of these verses out loud. There is POWER in the Word and we can take God’s promise of that very seriously.
Here’s a mini-curated list that I find helpful in tough moments:
- The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. – Exodus 14:14
- But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40: 31
- For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10
- For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. – Psalm 71:5
- Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD! – Psalm 31:24
- Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. – Hebrews 11:1
- Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
If you are feeling overwhelmed, take heart! I encourage you check out this episode of my podcast — with Risen Motherhood’s Laura Wifler — for a little bit of inspiration!
Rachel Marie Kang is a beautiful writer and the creator of Indelible Ink Writers—an online community of diverse creatives willing and wanting to bring forth bare words and brave art. She’s got a book on creativity coming out this year and I gotta say, this conversation really nourished my soul.
I didn’t know Rachel before, but I felt we were kindred spirits as creatives and I think fellow Enneagram 4s and creatives will really enjoy this dive into writing, mothering and where the seeds of our inspiration come from. I’m so excited to read her book and encourage you to check out Indelible Ink Writers! Check her out on Instagram here.
Recent episodes:
- Sheila Gregoire: Let’s Talk About Sex
- Katie Scott: Joy & Purpose in Everyday Mom Moments
- Elisha & Angela: Faith After Fundamentalism
Sheila Gregoire talks about sex and it’s earned her some exclusion in the Christian world, but for all the wrong reasons. She’s been writing and speaking on sex within Christian marriage for years, but her latest book, “The Great Sex Rescue” taps new ground — and it’s fascinating.
She’s done intensive, comprehensive surveys of men and women — and her discoveries fuel what she covers in this book. Namely, Christians (and culture generally) have often put women in the terrible position of “obligation sex” or doing things they aren’t comfortable with because they think they “owe” it to their husbands. That’s just one of the things we cover, but an important one. That is NOT a healthy view of sex and no woman should feel this way.
Sheila is bold and unafraid to tackle popular Christian marriage books and authors. In fact, she often excerpts some of the worst lines and exposes just how toxic, abusive and insane some of them are. She’s authentic, fun and standing up for healthy relationships in a way that’s refreshing and essential
If you can’t tell, I absolutely loved speaking with her and highly recommend her work!
If you are struggling with sex in your marriage, I also want to mention the work of Janna Denton-Howes, a woman I have worked with and found to be an incredible, empowering resource.
Recent episodes:
- Katie Scott: Joy & Purpose in Everyday Mom Moments
- Elisha & Angela: Faith After Fundamentalism
- Jessica Hottle: Breaking Up With Lies From Your Past
How do you maintain a strong faith in mom life? Katie Scott is mom to three littles and God gave her a vision to show tired mommas how to “chase vibrance” in their everyday lives. She helps women find joy and purpose, even in the moments that feel mundane.
Katie had three kids in 3.5 years — and they are still pretty small — so she is in the trenches with me and many of you! It can often feel impossible to take time for yourself and God in this season, but it’s not. When I found Katie on Instagram, I was immediately drawn to her personality and the practical advice she was offering.
Moms of little kids are tired and short on time — and Katie knows that! She helps them live into their unique, God-given purpose even when things feel chaotic.
She helps women grow their faith, find their purpose and find more joy. We all need encouragement on the regular and I am excited to share this conversation with Katie so you can find it today!
Practical help, encouragement, community and empowerment are values you offers and she is so relatable! I loved talking with Katie about motherhood, ministry and doing what you can in this season in life!
Recent episodes:
- Elisha & Angela: Faith After Fundamentalism
- Jessica Hottle: Breaking Up With Lies From Your Past
- Amanda Waldron: Faith RE-Construction Coach
After a rough morning with my daughter — and yelling at my kids — I was compelled to write. Because we don’t see those tough moments on social media. We don’t see the outburst of frustration, the screaming of things you’d never have dreamed of years ago. We don’t see the precious spirits of other people’s babies, forgiving mommas who really don’t deserve it.
>>> Get the Gospel Kids 101 Guide
But I’m the lucky Mom who has those babies. I’m the imperfect Mom who has the outbursts. And the reality of God’s love and frustration with me has never been more apparent than through this relationship with my kids. There’s not faking it through a tantrum — at least not every time.
I’m thankful for my forgiving babies. I’m thankful for my forgiving Father.
This is for you, precious Momma friend:
For the Mom That Yelled Today
*I broke down in tears this morning, laying my head on my 3-year-old’s lap
Asking her to forgive me
Do you ‘give me, momma? Her reply.
Baby, you don’t need to apologize, I said.
Momma, I sorry for making you mad.*
Precious girl.
Don’t apologize — for being you, for being 3
Your momma…
She yells and she’s sorry.
She’s mean and she feels shame.
She’s striving and she’s failing everyday.
Being
a good mom
a good wife
a good friend
a good daughter
a good sister
The space is finite, but where’s the rest? So I yell, willing it to be.
It never appears. The hard moments subside.
And I promise not to yell, or need so much space.
But then I do. And I yell, but softer this time.
Looking at you, not past you, more quickly this time.
Mama, you ‘give me? You say.
Forever and always, my girl.
Can you forgive me too?
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Yelling at My Kids Doesn’t Make Me a Bad Mom It makes you human. It makes you fallen. It makes you compassionate and more ready to love and forgive in the end. So forgive yourself and ask God to forgive you and your kids to forgive you and start anew. We’ll be starting a anew until the end of this life. Just keep doing it.
“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23
>>> 10 Christian Kids Books You Need
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Hi friends,
Welcome to the Top 5 of 2021! If you are new here, I’m Ericka — Christian momma of two, writer of articles and books — and voracious reader and podcast listener.
I have a few things to share with you, including a few fun things like my new favorite products, which I’ll kick things off with:
- EverEve Trendsend Boxes: I hate shopping but love good clothes. I like these better than Stitch Fix because they come with more options and are a wider variety of styles.
- Seint make-up: My bestie, Michelle, is a representative for this company and she got me totally hooked on this easy, awesome make-up. I’m NOT high-maintenance with make up but this has made me look way better! You can contact her for a free color-match if you want to look into it.
- Lume Deodorent: I won’t get too into it, but let’s just say this deoderent a) has great marketing and b)is deoderent for ANY place on your body! It’s the first I’ve seen like this and apparently is a miracle worker for some.
Top 5 Podcast Episodes: Worth Your Time Podcast 1. Phylicia Masonheimer: Every Woman a Theologian
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Leah Wacek: Choosing a Wildly Generous Life
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Kristen Young: Biblical Living & Motherhood on Instagram
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Kaitlyn Scheiss: Faith & Politics: How Can Christians Do Them Well?
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Christina Crenshaw, Ph.D.: Faith, Culture & Getting ‘Cancelled’ at Baylor
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Top 5 Books 1. Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher 2. Mama Bear Apologetics by Hillary Morgan Ferrer 3. The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt 4. Love They Body by Nancy Pearcey 5. Run with Horses by Eugene Peterson
Runner up: Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier
Top 5 Pieces I Wrote 1. Christianity Today: Meet the Pro-Life Activist Who Was Nearly Aborted Twice 2. USA Today: How Attending Church During Holy Week Can Improve Your Mental Health 3. World Magazine: The Humanity of an Embryo (Why I’m Choosing Embryo Adoption) 4. Medium: One Year Sober, 20 Years in the Making 5. ERLC: Why a Second Chance for Incarcerated Men is Important
Top 3 Instagram Posts
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View this post on Instagram A post shared by Ericka Andersen (@ericka_andersen)
Top 5 Life Moments 1. Celebrating one year sober (have you noticed a theme?!) 2. Signing a book deal with NavPress for my second book! 3. Becoming an opinion contributor for World Magazine 4. Saying good-bye to my Grandma Sharon, and having the honor of writing her obituary. 5. Launching my kiddo into kindergarten!
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I could go on with the Top 5s, but I’ll stop there. What were some of YOUR top 5s? I’d love to hear books, podcasts, movies, moments! Stay in touch and let me know on the socials
My children were conceived via in-vitro fertilization. Since then, I’ve had a roller coaster of an emotional journey. As someone who is a lifelong pro-lifer, IVF is anything but simple — and it’s why I’m choosing embryo adoption. We will likely work with Nightlight Christian Adoptions when the time comes.
I recently wrote for World Magazine about the concerns Christians should have surrounding IVF. Column length didn’t permit me to share my personal story, but I did want to share that with you, my readers & friends.
For those that don’t know, embryo adoption means our frozen embryos will be donated and couples that are struggling to conceive can legally adopt them and attempt to give birth to them and give them life. It might sound weird, but it’s the only option for someone who knows these embryos are already human life.
IVF Concerns and Embryo Adoption Here’s the portion that was cut from my article:
“The lack of information given to parents who enter into the fertility space is something to behold, as well. It’s a reality I know personally, all too well. As someone who entered naively into the world of fertility clinics and forgotten children, I felt bamboozled in the aftermath. It was only after rounds of tests, awkward questionnaires, painful shots and undergoing the IVF procedure that I became aware one could walk away with many more embryos than I would ever actually birth. Perhaps I should have been more educated, but when they didn’t offer more information, I didn’t ask. And most Christians I’ve spoken with about IVF are not aware of what really happens in the process.
“My treatment was wildly successful, resulting in the creation of many healthy embryos. But instead of ecstasy, I was gripped with cold fear — immediately recognizing he reality that I had willingly participated in the creation of human beings that I could not realistically raise.”
After watching a friend walk away from several rounds of IVF with an empty wallet and a silent womb, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. To my surprise, my treatment was wildly successful, resulting in the creation of many healthy embryos. But instead of ecstasy, I was gripped with cold fear — immediately recognizing the reality that I had willingly participated in creating human beings that I could not realistically raise. There was no “embyro mix-up” in my case, but the results of the IVF procedure left me in a similar wake: happy to be pregnant with a child I wanted so much, but heartbroken over the unforeseen consequences of this unembodied pro-creation I’d participated in.
Today, I have given birth to two of my snowflake babies, and think often of the others, preserved in time and awaiting a womb in which to grow. Unlike the vast majority of IVF patients with leftover embryos, I’ll be donating them to a Christian embryo adoption agency, which works with couples unable to have their own children. In this scenario, my frozen babies will one day have a chance at life and that, in my opinion, is the only right decision left for me to make.”
IVF is certainly a miracle, but there is nothing simple about it. My heart breaks thinking of the frozen babies I have that remain. And you won’t hear a lot of conversation about any of this. I am putting it out there for conversation, and awareness for those who may make this choice in the future.
Here’s an excerpt from my larger piece:
The Humanity of an Embryo “Hundreds of thousands of embryos sit frozen on ice in the United States—tiny lives abandoned after parents achieve the successful pregnancies they sought using IVF. In the secular, Western world, where unborn people have zero human rights, a pre-implanted embryo is little more than an afterthought. And while most people unfamiliar with IVF don’t know the ins and outs, the term “embryo” should draw Christians to attention.
An embryo is a fertilized egg complete with a biological sex and full DNA code including eye color, personality traits and genetic conditions. Just a few years ago, model Chrissy Teigan and her husband, singer John Legend, admitted they had chosen which gender they wanted from their spate of successful embryos after IVF. Patients can also choose pre-implantation genetic testing, which can essentially weed out genetically “inferior” embryos.
This is often done in effort to select the embryo with the greatest chance of survival, but it sounds dangerously like fashioning a “designer baby” all your own. And while we frown in disgust at countries like Iceland, ridding their population of people with Down Syndrome through abortion—these less obvious testing methods to remove the “imperfect” aren’t any better. The reality is that every frozen embryo is a preserved person just waiting to be given a chance to live.”
Full piece here.
You can see my columns at World Magazine every week or two, as I am a regular columnist there. Sign up for my email list to get links sent to you once a month or so!
Finding theologically solid and reputable Christian kids books can be difficult. When I became a parents, I was flooded with secular books — some of which even distorted Bible stories into worldly ones. Others, I found lacking in Scripture or not well-written. I set out to find books my kids would really enjoy that might truly teach them about God.
More and more mommas have been asking me for suggestions lately, so I figured now was the best time to put together a short list to get you started. These are certainly for the younger kids, for the most part, but I actually enjoy them quite a bit myself! Sometimes it’s the simplification of deep, spiritual concepts that help us as adults really hear what God is saying.
>>>> 9 Ways to Create a Strong Faith in Your Kids
Christian Books for Kids God’s Very Good Idea: A True Story of God’s Delightfully Different Families by Trillia Newbell
LISTEN: Interview with Author Trillia Newbell
Anytime, Any Place, Any Prayer: A True Story of How You Can Talk With God by Laura Wifler
LISTEN: Interview with Risen Motherhood’s Laura Wifler
Wherever I Go, I Want You to Know by Melissa Kruger
>>>>> Biblical Living & Motherhood on Instagram
Near: Psalm 139 by Sally Lloyd-Jones
Goodbye Goodbyes by Lauren Chandler
Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
When I Pray by Matthew Paul Turner
My Heart’s Garden: Help your kids discover their identity in Christ, overcome anxiety, fear and insecurity by replacing lies with fear by Charity Rios
Quinn’s Promise Rock: No Matter, Where God is Always by Christie Thomas
Image Bearer by Ellie Sanazaro
LISTEN: Interview with “Image Bearer” Author Ellie Sanazaro
BONUS: Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
I know it’s tough to find reliable, children’s resources in today’s crazy culture, but I hope this list helped you get a little bit of a start. If you aren’t yet on my email list, subscribe today and receive new resources every month!
Elisha and Angela are friends who grew up together in a very conservative fundamentalist church environment. Hell and damnation were the regular vibe and spiritual abuse ran rampant. The guilt and misguided ways in which their pastors and spiritual leaders taught them made Christianity confusing — and not at all the true way of Jesus.
As they got older, both of then eventually found their way to new avenues of the Christian faith. Over time, they each saw how screwed up their fundamentalist backgrounds really were. Today, they’ve been able to make peace with God but the religious trauma from the past is still there, beneath the surface.
Fundamentalist Church Life In this conversation, I speak with them both about what they went through, how they reconciled it and where they are today with their faith. As we begin to talk more openly about spiritual abuse and deep church hurt in society, I think some will resonate with their experience.
Have you been enjoying the podcast? Don’t forget to subscribe for automatic downloads every other week! I’m gearing up for some great guests next year so don’t miss out.
You can also sign up for my email list for new episodes and book reviews each month!
Recent Episodes:
- Jessica Hottle: Breaking Up With Lies From Your Past
- Amanda Waldron: Faith RE-Construction Coach
- Ashley Lande: From LSD to Jesus
ICYMI: Here’s my latest YouTube video:
Polling finds that 94% of people become Christians or decide on the faith they will follow (or lack of faith these days) before the age of 18 — and most them much younger and research shows that parents are number one in forming their children’s spiritual lives, followed second by church.
To think that children decide on their faith for a lifetime so early on is major incentive to develop a plan. When I learned this information, I got really passionate about doing it well for my kids and telling others about it
After having my first child 6 years ago, I didn’t think much about how I would raise him the faith. I figured we’d go to church and he’d get it by osmosis. I never remembered any major extra efforts in my own life from my parents. But then I started to think about how many people I knew that had walked away from faith or not retained what they grew up with at all — including some of my own relatives.
Faith Under Attack The truth is, faith systems are under attack like never before…it’s not like it was even 10 or 20 years ago. In 1999, 70% of Americans belonged to some kind of religious institution. Today that is under 50% and nearly 25% say they have “no religious affiliation.” This isn’t just concerning because lack of faith in general, but faith in individuals has an amplifying effect on every aspect of a person’s life, from childhood to adulthood. Things like depression, anxiety, marriage rates, suicide rates, general happiness — all of this is affected dependent on whether one has an active faith in their life or not.
As I read and researched for articles I was writing, I began to realize even I, someone who considered herself a strong Christian, didn’t even know or understand certain, basic theological truths of Christianity. I had a hard time answering even the simplest of criticisms or doubting questions. It was great I had faith, but what about those who did have questions or criticisms? I didn’t want my ignorance to be a hindrance — to them or to my own children one day. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned and want to share with you.
Grab the Gospel Kids 101 Guide
9 Ways to Create a Strong Faith in Your Kids 1. Model by example. Before you even begin to teach your kids, get your own walk on track. Your actions will speak far more than your words. Model a committed faith walk in your daily prayers, Bible reading, attitude, repentance and more. Take time to re-align yourself with your faith and you’ll be better prepared to help your kids.
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Make family a priority. Our first community is our family. We know God values you this above almost anything else. It’s the first thing He did in the Garden! Create space for sacred family time every day and do not neglect it. This builds a Godly foundation full of trust and safety.
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Create Biblical habits. Even when kids are little little – habits become ingrained in their minds. Think of those nightly prayers from you were a kid. I know I still say the same prayer I learned as a 4-year-old each night! Talk about a powerful word. Set rituals like prayer at meals, praise at the dinner table, a Bible verse or devotional before bed. Make a habit of praising God for the sunrise and the stars, of praying when your little gets hurt or is scared. Re-instituting these habits over and over will create a lifetime of faith by habit.
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Find a Home Church. It’s time to find and stay with one church. Seek God’s guidance on where that may be, but instilling the importance of true, Biblical community from a young age will set the stage for a lifetime. It’s important to attend regularly and show your kids that God’s house is sacred and important to your family. It’s not just about taking the action, but providing a space of safety and comfort…it’s a place your child can always go back to later in life where they know there is guidance, prayer and healing.
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Teach Theology Young. Don’t run away! Just the word “theology” can sound daunting. Trust me – I’m no pastor! But by implementing basic theological concepts and words into your daily learning, you will help ground your kids in the true meaning of the Christian faith. Best of all? You can learn WITH them. I’ve been doing this for two years and it has been SO enlightening for my faith too. I’ve got some great ideas on how to do this at the end so sit tight!
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Pray With and For Them. We tend to underestimate the power of prayer – but don’t! Get specific about prayers for your kids. Say aloud the things you hope for them. Believe that God will bring them to pass. Trust His faithfulness! Spend time each day praying with them as well – short bursts for others will show them how important prayer is. I also recommend writing prayers down with them and going back later to see how God actually answered them!
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Invite Other Christians to Invest In Them. Parents are the most important people in a child’s life. However, surrounding them with other, Godly influences is super important as well. You want them to feel safe and trusting, able to go to another resource if it’s too hard to talk to mom and dad someday. This is where a strong, church community can be incredible. The more safe, loving adults a child has in their life, the better off they are and bonus points if those adults also love Jesus.
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Be a Servant of All. My mom didn’t do a lot of this for me when I was a kid but one thing she did do? Serve and love others with a beautiful heart. I grew up watching her volunteer at the homeless shelter, buy groceries for the poor, host friends who were down and out at our house and give away a lot of money to charity. Model this servant love for others in all you do and it will become a faith value for your kids later! One of the key tenets of christianity is being a servant of all and it’s these actions that make a big impact.
9. Share Your Faith Regularly. Sharing your faith can be hard, but hear me out. When we are in a loving relationship with God, that energy naturally flows out of us. Rather than think of this as “evangelism” – just speak openly and honestly to others about your life. If a prayer was answered or God helped you through something difficult, talk about it! When your kids hear you regularly talking about God, they’ll naturally follow suit when He helps them in their own lives. The more you speak freely about God, the more naturally it will come to you and honestly, begin to transform your life.
If you are interested in learning more about this, sign up for my email list for once-monthly content & resources!
Check out my video on this topic below:
Recommend Reading * Mama Bear Apologetics * Talking with Your Kids About Jesus * Bible Belles * Raising Kingdom Kids * Jesus Storybook Bible
Check out some of my podcast episodes featuring great female leaders to follow on this stuff including:
- Phylicia Masonheimer, Every Woman a Theologian
- Amy Gannett, Tiny Theologians
- Laura Wifler, Risen Motherhood
Jessica Hottle is a Christian writer, podcast host, speaker, and coach for women. Her new book, “Face Off With Your Feelings: Break Up with the Lies of Your Past and Embrace the Truth For Your Future” is available for pre-order now on her website.
According to her bio, she “hates rules, restrictions, and religious duties” and lives her life by putting God first, and living authentically, with integrity, and in freedom through Christ. After living through a past where she idolized her body and letting men or work be the source of her value, she made a dramatic change.
Jessica was able to find freedom from the pain of her past by realizing that her worth was only determined by the love of Jesus going to the cross for her. Her perspective as a coach and author is one that encourages women to be wholistically health in spirit, soul AND body.
She loves to help women find freedom from their pasts and healing in their bodies through faith-based fitness coaching, books, and speaking events to create long-term, sustainable results.
I loved chatting with Jessica about her transformation and also about how she’s built a very cool brand and self-published multiple books with major success. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation.
Recent Episodes:
- Amanda Waldron: Faith RE-Construction Coach
- Ashley Lande: From LSD to Jesus
- Jackie Aviles: Mama Cancer Warrior
WATCH HERE:
For the past 3 years, I’ve been a Big Sister to Calajah, my Little Sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters, an organization I have come to love and adore.
I was inspired to take up mentoring after doing some research on vulnerable children for my 2018 book. When I read statistics about how one caring adult in a mentorship role can literally change the trajectory of a child’s entire life, I knew I had to do something. I wasn’t in a position to foster parent, which was truly on my heart, so I did the next best thing and signed up for a training with BBBS.
I was a little zealous, given I had a 5-month-old baby and a toddler at the time, but need felt palpable. As a Christian, I felt it was my duty to contribute not only financially to the vulnerable but in an embodied, truly meaningful way. I wrote a bit more about my decision here and was especially grateful to spotlight BBBS in a recent piece I wrote for USA Today.
When BBBS reached out this year to see if I’d like to be an MVP for their winter fundraising efforts, I immediately said yes. I believe so much in their mission and the importance of mentors. And I honestly hope to inspire some of you reading to this to sign up to become a mentor.
I’m also raising money. Our minimum goal (per MVP) is just $250, but I’d love to exceed that and help provide more opportunities for these kids. Would you like to help me reach this goal?
DONATE HERE
One of my roles this season is to get at least ONE person to make an inquiry with BBBS and possibly take steps to become a mentor. If this is pricking your mind, please consider reaching out! I’m happy to answer any questions and encourage you along the way.
I’ve had a great experience with Calajah and love being part of her life. Plus, a little prep for the pre-teen years I will face with my own someday
Thanks for considering a donation today and please share the work of Big Brothers Big Sisters. It matters deeply and is changing lives.