The Parenting Mentor: Recent Episodes
Sue Groner
Welcome to the parenting mentor sessions with Sue Groner. If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably comes with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, this is a great place to start. Listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about specific challenges they're facing with their children, aged anywhere between 2 and 22. Listen along and gain perspective and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Paul S is the lead dad to his three daughters. What is that exactly, you ask? He’s the main parent that takes on most or all of the daily responsibilities for the kids. He loves his role with his kids but finds that navigating the social dynamics within the mom community as a Dad is complicated. He finds it rather difficult to break through the “playground mom mafia”. He’s wondering what he can do to get lead moms to engage when it comes to birthday parties, playdates and chatting on the playground. Listen along for some strategies to encourage your partner to take on more lead responsibilities and why it’s okay and important to embrace lead dads in your mom community.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
What exactly is a lead dad? Practicing transparency and openness around the topic of lead dads. Using humor to create bonds on the playground for both the lead moms and dads. Creating open and direct communication around this modern parenting style The power of moms letting go of control and allowing space for a partner to take on more responsibilities. “I think part of the challenge is that the mom has to genuinely give up control” -Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jes L is a mother to two girls, 11 years old and a 15 months old. While her first daughter was fairly easy as a baby, Jes is finding the experience with her second daughter to be entirely different - she is intense and refuses to listen to the word “NO”. Jes and her husband have told her numerous times not to do things like stick her finger in the electric socket yet she is determined to defy them.
The word “no” is optional in Jes’s daughter’s eyes and she goes into tantrum - mode when she hears it too many times. She also loves to play on the edge by attempting to turn on the oven or open and close drawers (sometimes on her finger). Jes comes to us for the next steps on how to turn this around.
Today we talk about the word “no” and how we can actually switch out the word to something like “danger” or “pain”. We also talk about how you can help your child learn to do something in a safe way by practicing them together - like opening and closing a drawer. We talk about the importance of validating your child’s feelings, and expressing to them that you understand that hearing the word “no” is hard. It’s also about connecting with your child in a tone that makes them feel seen and heard.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
Tangible tips and tools for dealing with your kid’s resistance to “NO”. Tips for validating using a non-judgemental tone and communication and why this creates empathy and understanding. Changing up your language and practicing patience when approaching your child. The power of allowing your kids to learn for themselves to an extent. Giving them a reminder of the consequence without having to constantly say “Don’t do that”.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Tina V has two boys, 3 years old and 1 year old. She has been struggling with potty training her 3 year old who is resistant to the process. She has tried bribing him with toys and chocolate and although this worked for a bit, he eventually stopped responding to these offers.
Tina has even set up a special potty training box for him in the bathroom that includes pull ups, underwear, wipes and books to help him independently overcome this issue. However, none of this has worked. Tina turns to me for the answers on how to move past this as quickly as possible especially with the pressure from his school.
Today we talk about how to deal with your child not being ready to go to the potty. We talk about why it might actually be best to take everything away and accept that he’s just not ready. The truth is your child will eventually use the potty at some point, it’s just not now. My advice allows both parents and children to let go of stress, embrace trust and practice patience.
“Just say “I know someday you are going to use the potty and it will be fine but right now let’s stop worrying about it. When you are ready, you let me know. You are a great kid, don’t worry about this.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
Tangible tips and tools for dealing with your child’s resistance to the potty. Tips for validating using a non-judgemental tone and communication and why this creates empathy and understanding. Practicing patience and acceptance when your child is not ready for something. Dealing with schools and third parties that place demands on your child’s timeline. Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jenn’s children are only 380 days apart. However her three-year old son wants to do what his four-year old sister is doing, like go to preschool. And at the same time, her older daughter wants to be treated more like a baby. Jenn is struggling with how to communicate age differences to her children while also giving them what they need.
Today we talk about using specific tactics and tools to teach your children about age and the concept of getting older. We dive into communication tips to reach your kids while also supporting their needs.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Strategies for empowering and fun visual games to teach your kids about getting older.
- Specific conversation tips using real life examples.
- Tips for changing the language around your child’s needs for cuddles and getting to the root of their needs.
- Changing your perspective on the potty training stress and other “milestones” and why it’s essential to not give in to the noise.
“It’s not, well you can't go to preschool unless you use the potty. It’s more like, when you’re ready that’s also a sign that you’re ready for preschool” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lindsay is a mother to two boys (3 years old and 5 years old) and they are constantly at each other’s throats. The fighting is driving Lindsay nuts. The older one has learned the word “retaliate” and that seems to be his action when frustrated by his brother. And this has started to show itself in school as well. If you’re wondering how best to deal with your child’s lack of frustration tolerance when it comes to their sibling or friends, listen in for some strategies that are not only helpful but respectful of your child’s feelings.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging communication that get to the issue instead of just saying “you can’t”.
- How to include your child in the problem solving process.
- How to use yourself as an example when teaching calm techniques.
- Specific tools for allowing your child to express and normalize their feelings and understand sharing as a concept.
"I think it's important for him to know that he’s allowed to have the feelings. To feel frustrated. And to feel angry. It’s okay because those are totally normal feelings and it’s not bad to have those but it's about how they are expressed that can be not so good." - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jen B is a mother to a 16 year old high-performing perfectionist daughter who is completing her junior year of high school. Jen is a self described micromanager who worries that her daughter doesn't have the coping mechanisms and resilience she’s going to need for college. Jen knows she needs to back off and trust her daughter but she’s finding it so hard to do. When her daughter comes to her for answers or frequently texts her, Jen struggles to set the boundaries that will help her daughter become more self-reliant.
On today’s episode we talk about how to start to let go of control as a parent and create more trust between you and your teen. We talk about how to practice validation, honest conversations and how to show up with love and support without controlling the situation. We talk about setting boundaries and allowing your teen to learn their lessons alone without constant protection. We talk about how to utilize code words so you can keep each other accountable.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating communication around your teen’s stresses and why this creates empathy and understanding.
- Specific tools for creating boundaries and room for your teen to grow without your constant protection and rules.
- Communication tips around handling the next steps in your relationship with your teen when you’re working on letting go of control.
- Specific tools to encourage your teen to start solving problems and learning lessons on their own.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Ruthie’s 4 year old son is fiercely competitive. He wants to be first at everything. He races his mom and even if he loses he insists that he is the winner. She is not a fan of the “no, you’re not” “yes, I am” battle. While Ruthie wants to embrace her son’s competitive nature, acknowledging that it will serve him well, she needs some help handling his need to always win.
If you’re struggling with a child who can’t deal with losing at anything, listen along for strategies and perspective to help your child feel better about not always being the winner.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and games to teach your child about the concept of winning and losing.
- Alter the “winning” goal by adjusting racing against others to racing against yourself.
- Changing your perspective and giving your child something fair to win at while utilizing empowering language.
- Helping your child understand and develop empathy for those that don’t win.
“It may not be that he necessarily needs to race and beat you. It may be just this act of seeing how fast he can run. And you can do it outside. You can set up a starting or finish and let him do these dashes. Time him, how long is it going to take him to run around the house. How many times can he do it, how fast can he do it today and in a week if he keeps practicing. Throwing in that concept how the practice is going to make him better and faster.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nicole’s 5 year old is heading to kindergarten this fall. She’s concerned about her son making this transition from the super nurturing preschool he has been at since he was 1.5 years old. If your child is going to be heading to a new camp this summer or new school in the fall, listen along for some strategies to help your child work through those jitters and to help you be ok with your child’s discomfort.
“It's so important for us to allow our kids to be uncomfortable because that is very normal. They’re going to feel it whether we want them to or not. And the more opportunities they have to learn how to get through those feelings, the better."
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips for familiarizing your child with their new environment and classmates in advance.
- Accepting and getting comfortable with your child’s inevitable discomfort in life.
- Letting go of a perfectionist mindset and giving your child permission to feel their feelings.
- Looking back with your child and celebrating them as they move through this new chapter.
- Empowering language and exercises for handling new social situations.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Tahra’s 10 year old daughter has what her mom likes to call “selective blindness”. She can never seem to find the things her mom asks her for. Tahra finds this so frustrating and is hoping for some guidance on the best way to handle this. We talk about how this is part of the bigger issue of helping out as part of the family unit. If you are struggling to get your children to be more active helpers at home, listen along for some strategies to empower and activate your kids.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tools and games to motivate your children to help out at home.
- Empowering conversations to activate your child’s sense of responsibility.
- Creating opportunities for your child to earn more freedom and independence while developing life skills.
- Practicing supportive communication versus blaming to create a sense of teamwork and empathy between you and your child.
“You could say I get that AND there are certain things that I don't want to try that hard at either because I don’t really care AND I need to anyways. And you need to anyway. Cause you’re part of this family and I can't do it all myself. And I need you. I need you to help. I need you to step up and I know you're really capable of it.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Sarah’s 2 and a half year old daughter won’t stop throwing food at meal time. Sarah is finding that she is escalating the situation because she ends up yelling and then dealing with a crying toddler. If you’re struggling with a defiant toddler and you're constantly cleaning up food from the floor, listen in for some strategies to set boundaries while allowing your child some control.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- General statements and empowering language that will define boundaries and reinforce rules around meal time.
- Focusing on your one goal with your child and being okay with letting go of perfection.
- Empowering language that reminds your child that you are on their team and it’s not a fight.
- Tangible strategies to teach your kids about concepts like hunger and incorporating games for them to express themselves without making a mess of the food.
“She knows if I choose not to eat I may be uncomfortable. If I choose to throw food I’m not going to eat. So giving her the power. And you’re not angry, you’re not yelling. When she throws the food, you’re like oh I can see you don’t want to eat now, honey. It’s not like “OK I'M TAKING THE FOOD AWAY” There’s nothing punitive. It’s just the way it is.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nicole’s 3 year old son has become so defiant since the birth of his baby brother who is now 10 months old. He says no to almost everything: putting on shoes, taking a bath, eating meals, brushing teeth, the list goes on. If you have a child like this and are tired of the escalations and all the conflict, listen along for some strategies to make this part of parenting so much easier.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Empowering language that reminds your child that you too want their company and that you value your quality time together.
- Powerful tools that approach the power dynamic struggles in a way that not only teaches your child but reduces stress for you.
- Tangible strategies and games that foster new skills such as time management in your child.
“We know they want our time and attention ‘mommy, mommy, mommy’ And you're like i know you want to spend time with me. I know, I know, I know. We need to shift a little bit to ‘I really need alone time with you. I miss that. I miss that when we got to do these things together. Let;s work on that. Mommy is going to work on that.’”
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Hillary is a mom of two daughters and her youngest is starting to complain about her sister's bossyness. As the older child she tends to jump in at every turn to take over. She’s there to let her know how to do everything and tends to reinforce what mom said. Hillary would love to learn how to help her younger child have more opportunities to lead and help her first born back off a bit. Listen along for some strategies for teaching your children respectful communication with each other and to avoid feeling pushed around.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Empowering communication tools and language to offer your child to give them a sense of personal power and voice.
- Tools to foster your child’s opinions and voice.
- Tangible tools to help your child practice and learn new behaviors such as not interrupting others.
- Creating opportunities for your child to take the lead.
“I also think that having a conversation with Louisa about having her not agree to everything is important. So rather than you being the one to step in and telling Frankie to stop doing everything she’s doing, that it's okay to help Louisa learn how to do it herself.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lori’s 11 year old son has always been a fun-loving class clown who likes to mess around in class. Now that he is in middle school his teachers find his behavior to be disrespectful. Since this only happens in school, Lori is wondering what strategies she might be able to suggest to her son so he can better judge when his humor and interruptions are okay and when they are not. If you have a child who’s having trouble controlling inappropriate behaviors this podcast may help.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Effective tips and tangible tools for your child to express their humor and thoughts without creating disruptions at school.
- Supportive brainstorming exercises and scenario role playing to teach your child the lesson of when and where.
- Changing your perspective to focus on your kid’s gifts and having empathy for their experience rather than having judgment.
“First thing I would do is, I wouldn’t worry too much. Like oh my god this is going to affect his whole life? The only thing that’s going to affect his life is that he has the ability to make people laugh and that’s a great thing.”
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Priyanka M is a mother to a 6 year old son who is smart, confident and comfortable taking over most situations. He often acts as a “dictator” when it comes to playing with other kids. Priyanka is wondering how to help her son develop more social and emotional intelligence and learn how to better connect with other kids. She wants to teach him how to be productive and happy working with others but not stifle his curiosity, intellect and leadership skills. Listen along to learn some strategies to help your kid learn how to, as the report card says “work well with others”.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging communication that will grow your kid’s social skills while also making them feel supported.
- At-home, tangible role play tips for teaching your child to work well with others in the classroom.
- Changing your perspective to focus on your kid’s successes and having empathy for their experience.
- Relating to kids through storytelling to make them feel validated.
“Anytime that you get frustrated or why is he acting like this, he’s so smart and he understands this and dadada - your mantra needs to be my son is 6. My son has been in the world for only 6 years and look what he’s capable of already” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nikki is a mom to three boys, 5, 3 and 2-years old. Not surprisingly, she is struggling with sibling rivalry issues especially when the kids are playing all together. She is wondering how much of this has to do with their need for 1:1 mom time, and how to help her kids work through their issues by themselves. Listen along if you are tired of being your kid’s referee.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging language that will get your kids not only solving their own problems (while feeling supported) but also doing their best to avoid conflict in the first place.
- Introducing the concepts of “taking 10” and the power of alone time.
- Techniques to create a daily emotional connection with the kids individually.
- Creating a space where it’s safe for your kids to feel their feelings while also being safe, kind and honest.
“I know you guys can figure this out together…Right? So now you’re giving them the power. You don’t want to be the referee and you also don’t want to be the judge.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jamie M is a mom to her 2 year old son who is coming off of a few weeks of lots of chocolate, tv and mom-ing. Jamie is stressing on how to get back to what she considers normal for her son post holidays. If you have also let your rules go by the wayside this holiday season, listen along for some strategies to smooth this transition and even create new structure in your household in 2023.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging communication that will get your kids in the conversation about holiday transitions, work life, and balance allowing them to feel even more a part of the family.
- How to gradually enforce your 2023 rules while creating a balance in your home such as taking breaks to spend time together in between working.
- Techniques such as trading in a card for one chocolate a day to make the process a bit smoother and more tangible.
- Changing your perspective and having empathy around your child’s experience.
“The beginning of the New Year becomes so stressful for everyone because they feel like they need to make strict changes or do things cold turkey. I feel like we need to ease into it. It's a healthy, more relaxed way to approach change.”- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Paul S is the lead dad to his three daughters. What is that exactly, you ask? He’s the main parent that takes on most or all of the daily responsibilities for the kids. He loves his role with his kids but finds that navigating the social dynamics within the mom community as a Dad is complicated. He finds it rather difficult to break through the “playground mom mafia”. He’s wondering what he can do to get lead moms to engage when it comes to birthday parties, playdates and chatting on the playground. Listen along for some strategies to encourage your partner to take on more lead responsibilities and why it’s okay and important to embrace lead dads in your mom community.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- What exactly is a lead dad?
- Practicing transparency and openness around the topic of lead dads.
- Using humor to create bonds on the playground for both the lead moms and dads.
- Creating open and direct communication around this modern parenting style
- The power of moms letting go of control and allowing space for a partner to take on more responsibilities.
“I think part of the challenge is that the mom has to genuinely give up control” -Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lindsay is a mother to two boys (3 years old and 5 years old) and they are constantly at each other’s throats. The fighting is driving Lindsay nuts. The older one has learned the word “retaliate” and that seems to be his action when frustrated by his brother. And this has started to show itself in school as well. If you’re wondering how best to deal with your child’s lack of frustration tolerance when it comes to their sibling or friends, listen in for some strategies that are not only helpful but respectful of your child’s feelings.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging communication that get to the issue instead of just saying “you can’t”.
- How to include your child in the problem solving process.
- How to use yourself as an example when teaching calm techniques.
- Specific tools for allowing your child to express and normalize their feelings and understand sharing as a concept.
"I think it's important for him to know that he’s allowed to have the feelings. To feel frustrated. And to feel angry. It’s okay because those are totally normal feelings and it’s not bad to have those but it's about how they are expressed that can be not so good." - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nneka is a mom who’s finding it challenging to parent an 8 year old after raising two other children who are now 17 and 22 years old. This daughter has a will of her own and like most kids doesn’t just do what she’s told. She is especially tough with Nneka when it comes to homework as she is homeschooled. Whether or not your kid is homeschooled, if you're tired of being the homework warden, listen out for an eye opening perspective along with some strategies to make this easier for everyone.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for effective and encouraging communication that will create harmony, growth and balance.
- How to teach a process that will ultimately become a lifelong skill.
- Specific conversation tips to start brainstorming with your child so they see you as their team member.
- Changing your perspective on your child’s learning curve and why it’s their process and not yours
“So I think that there’s a balance. First of all you can’t engineer your child. She’s not going to listen and respond exactly the way you want her to because she’s her own person.”- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jenn’s children are only 380 days apart. However her three-year old son wants to do what his four-year old sister is doing, like go to preschool. And at the same time, her older daughter wants to be treated more like a baby. Jenn is struggling with how to communicate age differences to her children while also giving them what they need.
Today we talk about using specific tactics and tools to teach your children about age and the concept of getting older. We dive into communication tips to reach your kids while also supporting their needs.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Strategies for empowering and fun visual games to teach your kids about getting older.
- Specific conversation tips using real life examples.
- Tips for changing the language around your child’s needs for cuddles and getting to the root of their needs.
- Changing your perspective on the potty training stress and other “milestones” and why it’s essential to not give in to the noise.
“It’s not, well you can't go to preschool unless you use the potty. It’s more like, when you’re ready that’s also a sign that you’re ready for preschool” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Tara is struggling with getting her 5-year old daughter to school on time. Ideally, Tara wants her daughter to be able to settle in before school starts, which means being a few minutes early. However, her daughter prefers to flounder and drag her feet creating stress, frustration and yelling in the home. She isn’t focused on all the tasks that Tara thinks need to happen before getting in the car.
Today we talk about how to focus on your goal of getting the kids to school on time and what that might mean. We discuss breaking down tasks for our kids so they don’t get overwhelmed with the commands. We dive into teaching kids powerful life skills like time management and problem solving.
If you’re also having stressful mornings, this is a great episode for you. Gain some perspective and strategies to help your child manage their mornings.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools for teaching kids about time management.
- Tips for empowering and fun games to teach your kids to get ready in the morning.
- Specific conversation tips for positive and effective communication and raising independent children.
- Tips for getting on your kid’s team and why this creates respect and stronger communication.
“What you’re in fact doing is teaching her really amazing life skills. Helping her to figure these things out on her own is an important life skill. So it’s not about having her teeth brushed. It’s not about having her shoes tied. It’s about the process of learning to do those things in a relaxed, timely way.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
Colin H is a father to an energetic 21 month old son who refuses to sit down and eat dinner. Colin and his husband are worried that their child isn’t getting enough nutrients and calories. They find themselves resorting to squeezable yogurts and packaged foods. They’re concerned that they are creating bad habits that will be hard to fix later in life. If you have a child who can’t sit still and focus on eating, you are not alone. Listen along to gain a new perspective on meal time and how to make it less stressful and more enjoyable.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Creative strategies for incorporating your child into the dinner process
- Tips for “making it work”. How to shift your mindset to focus on your ONE MAIN goal
- Tips for bringing in tools such as dinner time games and go-to stuffed animal pals
- Language to create a bond and understanding between you and your child so they feel supported
“It's really about making this a pleasant experience for all of you as opposed to this constant struggle. And, if he doesn’t eat much once in awhile, I promise you it’s okay”- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
Lauren B is back again this week to chat about how to convince her 11 year old to go back to camp. She’s calling in from an airbnb where she’s been taking care of her son during a flu outbreak at his 4-week summer camp. Now that his sickness has passed he’s refusingo go back.
On today’s episode we talk about some strategies around turning a negative feeling and experience into a positive one without conflict. We talk about why honing in on goals is important for kids to feel empowered.
We discuss the importance of creating a dynamic where your kid feels like you’re on the same team. We talk about recognizing the differences between you and your kids and engaging with them in a way that works best for them.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for language and strategies for empowerment and turning a negative into a positive.
- Tips for understanding where your child is emotionally and supporting them.
- Language to create a bond and feeling of team support.
“They are different than we are. They are completely different human beings and we need to engage them in a way that works for them. And that makes them feel good. And then when we do, and when we really understand who they are and what they need, you don’t have to struggle and worry.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
Lauren B is mother to 11 and 14 year old sons. Recently, the summer camp that the kids are in, faced a flu outbreak. Her older son shared with Lauren how he feels haunted by the pandemic and all of the stresses and fears they went through.
This hit Lauren as she began to question how to give her boys an optimistic outlook on life when there is so much going on in the world that’s not positive. The topic started weighing on her. She doesn't want to be a Pollyanna but doesn’t want to hide life’s realities from her sons either.
On today’s episode we talk about how to tactfully engage in real life conversations with your kids. We talk about how important it is for kids to develop coping mechanisms and resilience while we validate their feelings with intentional language. We discuss raising children who want to be engaged in the issues and not just feel fear. How do we activate our children and give them a sense of control towards making a change?
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for language and strategies for validation, honesty and empowerment.
- Tips for understanding where your child is emotionally and how much you want to share.
- Language for helping your kid feel empowered in the world and not helpless.
“I think the message is yes, this is hard. Validating that feeling 100%. Because it is. And yeah it stinks when your friends are coming and going and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. And yet you get through it.”- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
Randi Z is a mother to a 10 and a half year old boy who has been struggling with remembering certain tasks required by his teacher. Randi recently learned that her son’s homework hasn’t been accounted for over the past few weeks because he has been forgetting to get his homework signed off at home. Randi wonders what are the appropriate expectations around accountability and how best to handle them. She worries about what this means for her son’s future and where SHE slipped up in the equation.
On today’s episode we dive into our perspective and strategies around raising a self-reliant kid. We discuss how it’s not your responsibility as a parent to remember your kid’s tasks but there are ways that you can help them help themselves. By joining forces as a team and tackling issues together, your kid not only feels supported but they get to practice the life long skill of problem solving.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication that reminds your child that you support them and you’re on their team.
- Specific tools for helping your kid become more self-reliant and responsible.
- Why punishment isn’t the answer and why you should focus on empathy and patience for the learning process.
- Tips for supportive and productive communication with teachers regarding their concerns.
“He’s only going to be in 5th grade. That’s the first message to keep reminding yourself. The second message is you’re going to help him throughout the year learn a life skill. And those take time. And they take a little effort. And they take trial and error. The more relaxed you go into this whole thing the better, for you and for him. It shouldn't be a conflict thing.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Danielle C is a mother to a 4 year old daughter who doesn’t play well by herself. Her daughter is an only child who requires a lot of attention and entertainment, making Danielle worried that her daughter will always need someone to do things with. Danielle is struggling to get her own work and household chores accomplished. Her daughter often interrupts, asking her to play even when Danielle tells her “Mommy needs five more minutes”. On today’s episode we talk about what to do when you are becoming your child’s entertainment committee. We dive into how you can slowly guide your child to enjoy doing things alone through tools like the “fun bowl”. We also talk about how to use a timer and set certain rules when it comes to Mommy’s work time. We explain how to include your child in helping with chores. We discuss why it’s okay for kids to be bored.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for setting rules and boundaries with your child around Mommy’s work time.
- Specific tools for introducing your child to fun activities that they can do independently.
- How to talk about “alone time” with your child and help them understand the benefits.
- Tips for getting chores done with your child!
“It’s not necessarily: let your child be bored. It’s- it’s okay for them to be bored. So if they say they’re bored- it’s like “Oh. Okay” They are telling you some information. They’re not saying you need to be my entertainment committee.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
Ari is a mother to a 6 year boy who is not a fan of following schedules that are set up for him. While he is on the spectrum, getting kids to follow orders is a frequent complaint from many parents. As Ari finds herself in daily battles with her son, she wonders, how does she find the balance between flexibility and discipline? And how does she get her son to school on time without a fight?
On today’s podcast we discuss strategies to help manage your child’s time and your expectations. We talk about the importance of creating a plan and not just including your child in the process, but letting them lead. The more you allow your child to lead, the more involved and respected they will feel, allowing everyone to be more relaxed and happy.
We talk about how to work together with your child to build a morning routine plan in order to get to school on time. We talk about why I’m not a fan of rigid discipling and why I opt for a more supportive process that creates space for developing life skills.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication that reminds your child that you support them and you’re on their team.
- Specific tools for allowing your child to better understand time management.
- Tips on including your kid into the schedule planning so they may lead and learn.
- The difference between strict disciplining and allowing your child to live, learn and solve problems along the way.
“A plan is really important for all kids. They want to know what to expect and it sounds like your son especially wants to be part of making the plan. And the more that you can get him involved in creating that plan and really being part of it, the more buy in you’re going to have”
- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Sara H is a mother to a 4 year old girl who struggles with emotional regulation. When her daughter is angry or frustrated she goes straight to hitting, kicking and slapping others. With a new baby on the way, Sara is worried that her child doesn’t have coping mechanisms to turn to, in order to regulate her emotions. On today’s podcast we discuss specific strategies that will help your child manage difficult feelings in a more positive way. We talk about how to create an emotional connection with your child by reflecting their experience back to them. We talk about how using a general global statement such as “people don’t hit people” is a non-judgemental rule to offer them. We talk about the power of showing up with love and trying not to “fix” things. We talk about the importance of showing your kid how YOU handle difficult emotions so they can learn by example.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication that reflect back your child’s experience and why this creates empathy and connection.
- Specific tools for allowing your child to feel and express their emotions in a healthy and non-destructive way.
- Normalizing the experience of difficult emotions and showing your child how you cope with it in your own life.
- Specific tools to encourage love and empathy while allowing your child to develop their own problem solving tools.
“I’m not going to fix what you’re doing. I’m not going to fix why you’re angry or why you’re frustrated. But I’m going to allow you to feel that way and I’m going to give you love for it. If we fix it, then, we’re not really helping them to develop that emotional intelligence. We’re not helping them to develop their coping mechanisms and problem solving skills.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jen B is a mother to a 16 year old high-performing perfectionist daughter who is completing her junior year of high school. Jen is a self-described micromanager who worries that her daughter doesn't have the coping mechanisms and resilience she’s going to need for college. Jen knows she needs to back off and trust her daughter but she’s finding it so hard to do. When her daughter comes to her for answers or frequently texts her, Jen struggles to set the boundaries that will help her daughter become more self-reliant.
On today’s episode we talk about how to let go of control as a parent and create more trust between you and your teen. We talk about how to practice validation, honest conversations and how to show up with love and support without controlling the situation. We talk about setting boundaries and allowing your teen to learn their lessons alone without constant protection. We talk about how to utilize code words so you can keep each other accountable.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating communication around your teen’s stresses and why this creates empathy and understanding.
- Specific tools for creating boundaries and room for your teen to grow without your constant protection and rules.
- Communication tips around handling the next steps in your relationship with your teen when you’re working on letting go of control.
- Specific tools to encourage your teen to start solving problems and learning lessons on their own.
“When she says ‘what should I do?’ You can say: 'Well what do YOU think? What would make YOU feel good?' And just know in your head that what makes you feel good may not make her feel good. We can talk until we are blue in the face to our teens about meditation and breathing- but until they are ready, they’re not going to do it.”
- Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lindsey M is a mom who is feeling pressure to “keep up with the Joneses” when it comes to signing her 7 year old son up for extracurricular activities. She wants to encourage him to try new activities that she feels would be good for him even if he might not be interested - such as piano lessons.
She is worried about constant arguments with her son who may refuse to go or may quit activities that she signs him up for. Lindsay comes to me for insight on when to push her son to do things she thinks will be good for him. She also needs some guidance and tips to get him to do the things he has to do like going on errands with mom.
On today’s episode we talk about how and when to push your kids. We talk about different tactics you can use when teaching them the power of practicing. We also talk about how to reframe the word “quitting” by changing the way we think and talk about it. We dive into when commitment really matters and approaching conversations around the financial investment that comes with activities. We discuss what is often forgotten- the importance of downtime.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication around quitting and commitment towards activities.
- Specific tools for teaching your kid about the power of practice in order to grow.Reframing the word “quitting” as a parent.
- How to allow your kid to discover their passion over time. And how to be okay with their evolution as well as the moments of rest in between.
“Parents so often want their kids to have a passion when they’re young. And it can take a long time and a lot of exploration before that passion is found.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Tina V has two boys, 3 years old and 1 year old. She has been struggling with potty training her 3 year old who is resistant to the process. She has tried bribing him with toys and chocolate and although this worked for a bit, he eventually stopped responding to these offers. Tina has even set up a special potty training box for him in the bathroom that includes pull ups, underwear, wipes and books to help him independently overcome this issue. However, none of this has worked. Tina turns to me for the answers on how to move past this as quickly as possible especially with the pressure from his school.
Today we talk about how to deal with your child not being ready to go to the potty. We talk about why it might actually be best to take everything away and accept that he’s just not ready. The truth is your child will eventually use the potty at some point, it’s just not now. My advice allows both parents and children to let go of stress, embrace trust and practice patience.
“Just say “I know someday you are going to use the potty and it will be fine but right now let’s stop worrying about it. When you are ready, you let me know. You are a great kid, don’t worry about this.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools for dealing with your child’s resistance to the potty.
- Tips for validating using a non-judgemental tone and communication and why this creates empathy and understanding.
- Practicing patience and acceptance when your child is not ready for something.
- Dealing with schools and third parties that place demands on your child’s timeline.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jess L is a mother to two girls, 11 years old and a 15 months old. While her first daughter was fairly easy as a baby, Jess is finding the experience with her second daughter to be entirely different - she is intense and refuses to listen to the word “NO”. Jess and her husband have told her numerous times not to do things like stick her finger in the electric socket yet she is determined to defy them. The word “no” is optional in Jess’s daughter’s eyes and she goes into antrum - mode when she hears it too many times. She also loves to play on the edge by attempting to turn on the oven or open and close drawers (sometimes on her finger). Jess comes to us for the next steps on how to turn this around. Today we talk about the word “no” and how we can actually switch out the word to something like “danger” or “pain”. We also talk about how you can help your child learn to do something in a safe way by practicing them together - like opening and closing a drawer. We talk about the importance of validating your child’s feelings, and expressing to them that you understand that hearing the word “no” is hard. It’s also about connecting with your child in a tone that makes them feel seen and heard.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools for dealing with your kid’s resistance to “NO”.
- Tips for validating using a non-judgemental tone and communication and why this creates empathy and understanding.
- Changing up your language and practicing patience when approaching your child.
- The power of allowing your kids to learn for themselves to an extent. Giving them a reminder of the consequence without having to constantly say “Don’t do that”.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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As a father of 7 children, Jake certainly has his hands full. His kids are between the ages 12 and 17 months. For the kids in grades 3,4,5, and 6 he wonders how he can teach them about emotional intelligence. He also wonders about what to do when his kids are experiencing name calling or cliquish behavior from other kids. How can he create a deeper understanding and empathy in his kids when they deal with this kind of behavior? Today we talk about the importance of raising kids with emotional intelligence and the two most effective ways to do this. We talk about how to model emotional intelligence and secondly how to value all feelings. As parents we often want to fix things and make our kids happy but actually it’s crucial that we let them have their feelings and normalize them. We also talk about teaching kids about why people act the way they do. Starting to shift and widen their thinking when they deal with someone having a bad day creates more empathy which leads to emotional intelligence.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible strategies to deepen your child's emotional intelligence.
- Empowering tools to validate and normalize your kid’s feelings.
- Helping children understand why someone might act mean or hurtful.
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication and why this creates empathy and understanding.
- Trying not to fix everything as parents in order for our kids to sit with difficult but normal feelings.
“As parents we feel strongly about wanting our kids to be happy all the time. Right, it feels good. When they are happy, we are happy, when they are unhappy, we are unhappy. And so we have to sort of change that from yes I’m going to fix this so you can be happy instead of being disappointed or sad or frustrated or whatever that is, and instead I’m just going to validate that you feel that way.” - Sue Groner
Dara is a mother to two boys, a 14 year old and a 11 year old. Their family has moved several times so they are no strangers to change and fluidity. Currently, the boys are involved in different sports and musical activities but Dara has noticed a pattern of her boys quitting. Dara comes to us with the question- When do you let your kids quit something and when do you not? And what are the factors to consider when making those decisions?
Today we talk about how we can first change the language around quitting and the importance of using non-judgemental language with your kids. The more positive spin we can take, the smoother the conversation will go. We talk about when it’s important to honor a commitment and how to discuss that with your child. We also talk about what to do when there is a financial commitment involved and how to include your child in that conversation as well.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Positive and empowering communication tools around quitting.
- Empowering tips to teach your kid about commitment and teams.
- Why “quitting” doesn’t have to be a bad thing and the benefits of trying new things.
- Tips for inclusive, validating and non-judgemental discussions and why this creates respect and understanding.
- Why it’s important to let your kids live in the space of discovering who they are.
“So if you find that your child is doing something that you know they don’t love but they are doing it because all their friends are, at that age it’s okay. They’re working hard at life. Figuring out who they are so sometimes it’s just a safer place to be and that’s okay.”
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Stephanie is a mother to a 2 and a half year old girl who just won’t listen. Both Stephanie and her husband have been playing the control game with her daughter and you can guess who is winning?! Whether they are at home or out in public they struggle to get their daughter to listen to their rules. For example, their daughter won’t sit for circle time at the start of gymnastics and instead runs around getting in the way of the big kids.
Today we talk about some strategies around being in charge. We talk about how to take emotion out of the game and how to stop playing along. We talk about the power of making a boundary list and including your kid in this discussion. We talk about what arguments are worth fighting for and when it serves the family to let go of perfection. We also talk about what kinds of major shifts can happen when you refrain from using a judgemental voice and instead keep it validating and supportive.
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools around being in charge.
- Empowering tools to teach your kid about your boundaries and rules.
- Moments to pivot your strategy and let go when the struggle is not worth it.
- Tips for validating and non-judgemental communication and why this creates respect and understanding.
- Tips for leaning into what’s important for your child while maintaining structure and control.
“Always try to remain non-judgemental. So if she doesn’t eat and then she’s hungry-
“well I told you, you should have eaten” is a judgemental comment. “Yeah, I imagine your tummy must feel hungry because you didn’t eat lunch today” is just validating and communicating the facts or so.” - Sue Groner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Rahcyne is a mother to a 7 year old and a 5 year old. During the pandemic she watched devices and technology become a lifeline for her kids providing them education and socialization. Now she struggles with getting her kids to play with physical toys and use their imagination. Rahcyne wonders how she can honor the benefits of technology while raising her kids to also occupy themselves and be creative without devices.
Today we talk about my CLEARR method which stands for Communication, Love, Empathy, Awareness, Rules, Respect. We talk about why rules are important but how you can approach your kids using the CLEARR method. Ultimately kids will respond best when you don’t try to control them but instead bring them into the conversation. We talk about the importance of blocking out family time as a way to bring your kids into the physical world. We talk about how to teach your kids problem solving and time management using meaningful and special timers.
“Isn’t it funny how we can be so smart in what we do and in business but with kids it’s like “I told you to do this- now stop! You’re supposed to listen to me!” And we forget–how do I like to be treated? How do I like to be spoken to? How do I want my feelings to be reacted to?”- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- A breakdown of my CLEARR method.
- Tangible tips and tools for teaching kids to learn time management and problem solving.
- Communication strategies to create more harmony at home.
- The importance of fluidity with boundaries and what it really means.
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Janice is a mother to a 4 and a half year old boy and a 2 and a half year old girl. As a busy working mom she struggles with navigating how to practice “gentle parenting”. She finds herself trying to choose between disciplining or coddling her son when he acts out. She asks herself questions like “am I coddling too much?” and “are they taking advantage of me and acting out?”. She does her best to respect her son’s big feelings but can’t help but be overwhelmed whenever he acts out and throws a tantrum. Today we talk about what it truly means when kids “act out” and how to approach them when this happens. We talk about how to practice respectful and kind communication with a specific tone rather than coddling and the importance of validating feelings. We also talk about how to pre-plan for triggering situations that might lead to tantrums and how to slow down and be particularly thoughtful about their schedules and busy lives. “When we get frustrated and angry and we’re like “stop crying, stop acting this way, what are you complaining about?" we are adults- we have much better coping mechanics. And when we say that it’s like we’re not acknowledging how they are feeling and then they are going to act that way more.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tips on language and communication practices to use when kids act out
- Tips for validating your kid’s feelings and the importance of this
- How to truly enforce rules such as “people don’t hit people” effectively
- Tips for getting on your kid’s team and why this creates respect and stronger communication
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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BJ is a father to two little boys, one is 4 years old and the other is 6 years old. Every morning, BJ brings his eldest son to school and the experience hardly ever goes smoothly. He struggles with getting his son out of bed to go through the morning steps in an expedited manner. He urges his son to brush his teeth, change his clothes, eat his breakfast and put on his shoes as fast as possible. He often feels like the only answer is turning to bribes to motivate his son. After getting late notices from the school itself, BJ is turning to the Podcast with this question of how else to incentivize your kid to get ready for school? Today we talk about how to motivate and incentivize your kids without playing the “I’ll give you this or I’ll take this away that” game. We talk about the power of teaching your kids the life skill of problem solving. We talk about breaking down our asks for our kids so they don’t get overwhelmed with the commands being thrown at them. We talk about making our kids feel like we are on their team in the morning and how creating a little game involving a timer can make a big difference!
“The overarching message here is that you can’t engineer your children. You can help them to be self-sufficient, you can help them to learn to problem solve. You can’t engineer them.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools for teaching kids to be self-sufficient over time.
- Tips for empowering games and tools to teach your kids to get ready in the morning.
- Why you can’t engineer your children but how you can teach them problem solving.
- Tips for getting on your kid’s team and why this creates respect and stronger communication
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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April’s biggest pain point as a parent right now is monitoring the screen time of her 8 and half year old son and 11 year daughter. Her desire for her children to have a healthy relationship with technology bumps up against their need for “just one more minute” on the Ipad or TV. Sooner than later, arguments over completing video games and watching shows break out and the family is beyond frustrated. Today we examine the family rules around screen time and discuss how April can shift her approach by teaching her kids a long term lesson on time management and owning their responsibilities. I suggest having an important but relaxed conversation with the kids to create a sense of support, empathy and clear communication. I advise that instead of having rules dictated to them, the kids can actually help set those limits themselves. I offer specific tools that April and the family can start implementing immediately such as kitchen timers, a log for recording screen time activity and a planner so the kids can manage their own schedules and make decisions on when they should or shouldn’t be online. The goal is to create a long term sustainable plan and get April out of the business of being the screen time monitor!
“It’s the approach of we’re in this together. I’m not going to use this stuff as a reward or as an impunitive way because “if you don’t do this, then you don’t get that”, that stuff never works either. You want the motivation to be coming from an internal place. And that again will take time.”
-Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Tangible tips and tools for teaching kids about time management and screen time boundaries
- Tips for empowering conversations
- Why the long term plan and lesson wins over in the moment battles
- Tips for getting on your kid’s team and why this creates respect and stronger communication
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Natalia is a single mother of two--6 and 2.5 years old--and an entrepreneur. Her children struggle to differentiate between work time and playtime, and Natalia is having a hard time establishing boundaries for them.
Today, we talk about how Natalia can help the situation. We talk about the power of alone time, noting that it doesn’t need to be anything fancy or long. I note the importance of letting your kids know that you want to spend time with them, and I explain how Natalia can use a kitchen timer to help set boundaries for her kids.
“Don’t put pressure on yourself to make each thing super amazing. You can sit and read a book together, or just sit and listen to their favorite song over and over again.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of alone time
- The importance of letting your kids know you want to spend time with them
- The power of a kitchen timer
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lisa’s 8-year-old son really hates to do homework. In fact, just the mention of the word makes him feel anxious. Lisa is looking for ways to stop playing the homework warden and help her son feel less anxious about homework.
Today, Lisa and I talk about how she can help the situation. I suggest that she use alternative words for “homework” and “anxiety”, and I note the importance of validation. We talk about the value of a timer and a planner, and I emphasize the power of giving him the freedom to explore different ways and places to do his homework. We also talk about the power of subtle word changes.
“The more he gets to control this and the less you do, the better.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of subtle word changes
- The importance of validation
- The value of a timer and a planner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Liz has twin 6-year-old daughters who spend a lot of time together. Lately, they have been arguing and calling for Mom a lot, and the fights tend to stem from one daughter in particular. Listen along for tips on how to stop being the referee and fixer, and empower your children to solve their own problems.
Today, we talk about sibling rivalry, jealousy, and problem-solving. I note that Liz rarely needs to step in and solve her daughters’ fights. We talk about justice, discussing why it’s okay for the girls to come up with a solution that isn’t 100% fair as long as they’re both happy with it. We talk about what counts as alone time, and I emphasize the importance of tone and manner.
“How great for you, that you no longer have to deal with this stuff, and you can kindly and lovingly say, ‘Yes, I see it’s frustrating for you. Remember, Mommy doesn’t get involved in this stuff anymore.’”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Dealing with jealousy and sibling rivalry
- Why you don’t need to get involved and solve your children’s problems
- The power of one-on-one time
- How to nurture problem-solving skills
- The power of alone time
- The importance of tone and manner
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Carrie has twin 10-year-old twins, Matthias and Ruby. Matthias has ADHD and has trouble controlling his emotions when he’s home. Ruby, who has always been the “good girl”, has been acting out lately in imitation of her brother, most likely out of a want for attention. In this episode, we talk about how to give each child the attention they deserve, as well as ways to defuse and minimize emotional outbursts while validating all feelings--even the ones that don’t feel so good.
Today, we talk about how to handle both children’s behavior. We discuss what’s behind Matthias’s outbursts, noting that they’re actually a sign that he feels safe at home. I note that his need to let his emotions out at the end of the day is not unusual, and I explain why validating the work he does to keep it together at school is so important and effective. I note the power of a big hug, and I explain why Carrie needs to let Ruby know that it’s okay for her to have emotional outbursts sometimes too. I also note the power of small chunks of quality time.
“We all have a baby self and an adult self--even as adults.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of validation
- The power of a hug
- Why it’s okay to lose it sometimes, even if you don’t have ADHD
- The importance of quality time
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jennifer has three kids, and her youngest--the 2-year-old--won’t sleep through the night. She goes to sleep with no trouble, but every night she’ll come into her parents’ room in the middle of the night and join them in their bed. Between homeschooling the boys and running a business, Jennifer and her husband need sleep, so this isn’t a sustainable practice.
Today, we talk about a potential solution for Jennifer and her husband: setting up a sleeping bag in the bedroom as a compromise. We discuss what seems to be behind this behavior and talk about the importance of clearness when setting new boundaries. We discuss the importance of letting your child know that it’s okay to feel how she feels and that you understand, as well as refraining from snuggling with or singing to her when she comes in and you need to put her back to bed.
“You can’t force your kid to fall asleep, you can’t force feed them, and you can’t force them to use the potty...They will always win, no matter what, with those three things. And so the more you understand how they’re feeling and how you can work around it to make everybody happy and make it work for everyone, the better off it’ll be.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of letting your child know you understand how she’s feeling
- Why it’s okay to compromise with your child sometimes
- Being clear about boundaries
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Namasha isn’t thrilled with the way she’s handling her 2.5-year-old daughter's small acts of defiance. Timeouts don’t work, and while negotiating sometimes does, it’s not what Namasha wants to continue to do. If you’re finding yourself telling your child that if they eat three more bites of broccoli, they’ll get a sweet treat, then this episode is for you.
Today, Namasha and I talk about what’s behind her daughter’s sudden rebellion. I point out that her daughter has just discovered that she has control in a few areas of her life--namely: food, potty training, and naps--and that it’s an exciting discovery. I note that when you let your child feel like she has control in some areas, she’ll stop trying so hard to gain it in other places. We talk about how Namasha can replace negotiations with consistent, non-judgmental consequences to actions, whether positive or negative. I share tips for keeping your patience when your young child is struggling to communicate, and I point out the power of hugs.
“If you can find things where it positions it as if she really does have the control, then I think a lot of those little things will go away. Because she needs control.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- What’s behind a 2-year-old’s rebellion
- Tips for communicating and clarifying rules
- Reframing and redefining negotiations
- The three control areas of small children
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Elizabeth is a single mom to a 10-year-old. Most of the time, she thinks of herself as a laid-back mom, ignoring her son’s minor infractions, but when she’s stressed out this is not the case. She’s worried about being inconsistent but doesn’t know where to draw the line between letting things slide and making them a big deal.
Today, we talk about how Elizabeth can find the right balance. I suggest that, rather than either letting things slide or making a big deal of them, she can always react with something in between. I share tips for having an empowering and productive conversation about why rules are in place, and we talk about encouraging, non-judgmental ways for Elizabeth to talk to her son about his sweet tooth.
“You’re the captain of the team, and therefore, you’re the one who’s in charge. But he’s still respected as a team member.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Finding the middle ground of discipline
- Tips for an empowering conversation
- When it’s helpful to talk to your child’s pediatrician
- The power of scheduling periodic meetings
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Erin has two boys, 7 and 9, who can’t sit still at dinnertime. Erin and her husband want a nice family dinner every night, but the boys complain about the food, jump up and down, and can’t seem to get the cleanup done.
Today, Erin and I talk about what she can do about the situation. We talk about how it might be a good idea to cut family dinners down to five times a week, and I offer the suggestion that the boys do something to release all of their energy before sitting down each evening. We talk about the possibility of planning dinners in advance with the boys’ input so that they won’t be unhappily surprised at dinnertime, and we discuss doing something fun at dinner. Regarding cleanup, we talk about framing it as a way to contribute to the family now that they’re old enough, instead of as chores. I note that she can leave the boys to take care of it themselves instead of watching over the process, and I offer the suggestion of setting a kitchen timer for them.
“It’s not a chore; it’s your contribution to mealtime.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- How to take care of ants in the pants
- The benefits of planning dinners in advance
- Doing something fun at dinner and teaching your kids how to have conversations
- How to frame chores so that your kids will be proud to do them
- The importance of a kitchen timer
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Alexis is struggling to let go of doing every single thing with her kids. She’s hired someone to pick them up from school, take them to the playground, and do activities with them--and yet she’s showing up beside the babysitter. If you are having trouble letting go, find yourself thinking that a good mom has to do it all, and are afflicted by the Mom Guilt monster, listen in to gain a new perspective, along with ways to talk to yourself and your kids about all of this.
Today, we talk about why the operations don’t define the mother. We discuss the real meaning of motherhood, noting that the moments where connections happen are more important than the day-to-day jobs we associate with parenthood. We talk about how to explain to your kids why backing away from things like driving them to school actually allows you to be more present with them at other times, and we tackle the Mom Guilt monster. I note that a mother is a mother no matter what, and that trying to do everything often means you can’t do anything well. We talk about the importance of modeling the normality of varying emotions and energy levels for your kids, and I note the need for patience, as any transition takes time.
“You’re still their mother, 100%, and you’re giving them what they need as their mother. And that doesn’t have to do with taking them places. I can promise you that.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The real meaning of motherhood
- The value of a schedule
- Why taking care of the operations isn’t what makes you a good mother
- Why you can’t do anything well when you’re trying to do everything yourself
- Normalizing asking for help and having varying emotions for your kids
- The importance of patience
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Corrie is anxious and stressed about the looming introduction of a smartphone into her 9-year-old son’s life. It may be a year or two off, but she’s hearing worrying stories from friends with slightly older kids. She’s looking for steps she can take now to promote a healthy and positive transition when the time comes.
Today, we talk about striking the balance between not wanting your kid to be the odd one out and minimizing the problems that come with smartphones. We talk about the positive aspects of smartphones and I share the number one thing she can do now: model healthy smartphone use. I note the importance of hearing your child’s input and I offer tips on how to have a constructive conversation about smartphone usage.
“The less you’re on your phones texting and checking emails and doing whatever in front of your kids, the better.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The plusses and minuses of smartphones
- Modeling healthy smartphone usage
- The power of a constructive conversation
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Veronica isn’t happy with the way she overreacts at her 3-year-old daughter, especially when she’s not listening or making a mess. If you ever find yourself yelling at your children, this episode may help you reframe your reactions so that you and your child understand and can move forward.
Today, we talk about how Veronica can revise her approach so that, in the moment, she’s able to resist the temptation to lose her temper. She notes that some specific things stress her out through no fault of her daughter and discusses the source of this stress, and we talk about how she can open up to her daughter about her struggles in this area. I talk about the ways Veronica can reframe the things her daughter does that stress her out, I note the power of a kitchen timer, and I stress the importance of talking through emotions with consistent vocabulary.
“She’s not creating a mess; she’s learning something.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why it’s okay to be vulnerable with your child
- The power of reframing
- The power of a kitchen timer
- Using consistent vocabulary to explain emotions
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Rachel is struggling to get her kids up and out of the house in the mornings. In particular, her 5-year-old daughter resists putting her hair up, a task that will make it easier to do small tasks and projects and stop her from chewing on it. Rachel is looking for ways to convince her daughter that putting her hair up in the morning is good for her.
Today, we talk about what’s behind the resistance to putting hair up. I note that Rachel’s daughter has control over few things, and hair is one of them. I explain why, sometimes, it’s okay to allow your kids to have control. We talk about distinguishing which things are worth the effort they take to enforce, and I suggest that Rachel teach her daughter how to do her own hair. I also note the power of treating a new hairbrush as a special, exciting, and grownup treat.
“You could have control over the hair, but it’s unpleasant for everybody and it stresses you out.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- When it’s okay to let your kids have control
- How teaching your kids self-sufficience can reduce your stress
- Determining what’s worth the struggle and what’s not
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jessica has two boys--10 and almost 13. She wants them to take real ownership of their responsibilities, such as being on time for the bus, getting their homework done, and following rules around screen times. She’s looking for strategies to help her so that she doesn’t have to play the role of the warden.
Today, we talk about how Jessica can begin to step back and give her sons more independence. We talk about how to teach your children to be their own wardens so you don’t have to. I note the importance of recognizing that this process takes time, and we talk about the benefits of teaching trial and error positively and non-judgmentally.
“If you want them to get this independence, they need to learn how to have it.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Stepping back and giving more independence
- Teaching your children to be their own wardens
- The importance of patience
- The benefits of trial and error
- Why parenting is not an engineering project
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Danila has four kids, ages 6, 4, 2.5, and 4 months. They’re navigating the pandemic fairly well, but given the special circumstances, she wants her family to do even better. She is looking for tips to teach her kids collaboration, instruction following, and constructive listening. She emphasizes the importance of instilling the idea that they’re all part of a community and need to do their part.
Today, I talk with Danila about the areas in which she can accomplish these goals and the areas in which she needs to lower her expectations. I explain how to tell the difference, and I note that it’s okay to need your own space sometimes. I note the power of a timer, and we talk about ways for her to reduce the stress and pressure that every parent feels. I also make a distinction between fighting certain behavior and managing it.
“They’re not gonna do things exactly right at the beginning--and it doesn’t matter, because they’re learning how to do it.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Reframing chores
- The family as a community
- Why it’s okay to need your own space sometimes
- Reducing parenting stress
- Why it’s okay for your kids not to get it right the first time
- Managing vs. fighting
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Rashmi has a 5-month-old son and a 7-year-old daughter, Maya. She’d like some advice to help her daughter navigate the mixed feelings she’s having about her new sibling. She’s also looking for ways to be more patient with her daughter and give her some relaxed one-on-one time.
Today, we talk about what Rashmi can do about the situation. I note that her daughter shouldn’t feel like she needs to help out with the baby if she doesn’t want to. We talk about why it’s okay for Maya to feel however she feels about her brother and still love him. We discuss how Rashmi can prepare for in-the-moment tension beforehand, and we talk over how she can explain to Maya when’s a good time to cuddle with the baby. We also talk about the necessity of one-on-one time.
“She should be allowed to feel that he’s annoying and frustrating, whatever it is, and know that she can still love him.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why it’s okay for your child to feel that their baby sibling is annoying
- Teaching your child how to tell when it’s a good or bad time
- The necessity of one-on-one time
- Why one-on-one time doesn’t need to be long--it just needs to be regular
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Shannon has a 6-year-old and an almost-8-year-old who are struggling with burnout from distance learning. Shannon is a very busy business owner, and as a result, her children have developed a disproportionate sense of independence. They are often verbally, and even sometimes physically, defiant.
Today, we talk about what’s behind this behavior. We talk about the power of quality time coupled with a kitchen timer. We discuss the small ways Shannon can give her kids more control over their lives, and I note the importance of letting your kids know they don’t have control over your emotions. We talk about how Shannon can apply my CLEARR Method to this situation. I also talk about how she can effectively explain to her kids that acting out emotions physically is perfectly okay, but that hitting people is not.
“Letting them know that they have control over our emotions allows them to keep doing and acting in those ways.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of quality time (quality not quantity)
- The power of a kitchen timer
- Little ways to give your kids more control
- Why your kids need to know they don’t have control over your emotions
- The CLEARR Method
- Acceptable vs. unacceptable ways to act out physically
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Marissa is a working mom, and with all of the struggles that come with that, she is having trouble setting boundaries for her kids while remaining a fun mom. In particular, she is looking to cut down on her 6-year-old son’s screen time without feeling like a dictator.
Today, I share some tips with Marissa. We talk about the power of having clear, defined rules around screen time, and I note the importance of making sure these rules are a joint decision. I talk about the best way for Marissa to approach this conversation with her son, and I talk about how she can use the experience to teach him about the power and normality of trial and error. We also talk about what it means to be a fun parent and what a parent’s role is.
“You may start over and you may tweak, and you’re teaching him this incredible skill [of trial and error] in this way.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of clear boundaries
- The power of a respectful, two-way conversation
- Guidelines for instituting reasonable screen time
- The power of a list
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Kanika is a mom of three kids, two of whom are twins. With three children so close in age, she has always struggled to keep them in order, but lately the twins (who are 4 years old) have gotten so out of control that she often has to resort to bribing and threatening to get them to cooperate. This especially comes up when it’s time to get out the door in the morning. Kanika is looking for alternative ways to handle these situations.
Today, we talk about strategies that Kanika can adopt to make the situation more peaceful for everyone. We talk about the newfound discovery of control that is prompting the twins’ behavior, and we note the power of a respectful conversation. We talk about why the kids don’t actually need to get their coats and shoes on to leave the house, and I introduce the idea that it’s okay for kids to experience some discomfort if that’s what they need to learn a lesson. We talk about the difference between “I don’t want to” and “I won’t”, and I caution against reading more into your kids’ words than what they mean. In this vein, I note that it’s okay for them not to want to do something and I explain why, once you stop trying to convince them to want to obey, you eliminate needless stress for everyone.
“You can tell them they’re gonna be cold and it’s gonna be uncomfortable till you’re blue in the face, but until they experience it for themselves, they’re not gonna care.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up for bribing your kids once in a while
- What is behind a kid’s reluctance to get out the door
- Why it’s okay for kids to learn lessons the hard way
- The importance of avoiding saying “I told you so”
- The difference between “I don’t want to” and “I won’t”
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nyeesha's oldest daughter is having difficulty expressing self-love when it comes to her appearance and her accomplishments as a 20-year old. Nyeesha’s daughter started having body image concerns while growing up in LA, where there is already more focus on body type, skin complexion, and weight loss. While they have worked through these issues before, Nyeesha wants to make sure she can continue to build a safe space for her daughter to express herself and recognize how wonderful she is.
Today, we talk about how Nyeesha can help her daughter work through moments where she is critical of her appearance and her accomplishments. I explain the importance of shifting the focus away from beauty and why our "prettiness" is a tiny part of what we offer the world. We clarify what a healthy lifestyle is and why it's based on how you feel instead of your actual weight. We also discuss the importance of validating feelings and how to help our kids recognize their accomplishments at any age.
“It takes a lot of living to get to the point where other things become more important.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Shifting focus away from simply saying “you’re so beautiful”
- Why the physical “prettiness” is a tiny part of what we have to offer the world
- What to do when family members comment on weight
- Understanding that weight fluctuates and how to change the language we use about it
- What is a healthy lifestyle
- The importance of sharing your own experience with weight change
- Worrying about getting old at the age of 20
- Why it’s important to validate feelings
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Erin struggles to get her three kids off to school without any drama. Specifically, her 3-year-old son has been having tantrums about getting dressed, and that’s affecting everyone’s morning. She’s looking to find the balance between validating his feelings and getting everyone out the door.
Today, we talk about how Erin can make the mornings less stressful for everyone. We talk about the power of “and” and discuss how she can get more one-on-one time with her son in the mornings. I note that her son doesn’t necessarily need to get dressed before going to school, and we talk about finding the balance between letting your children know you’re in charge and respecting their feelings. We also talk about why you shouldn’t be afraid to say “you’re right” to your kids.
“If he doesn’t want to get dressed, why fight with him? Why go through him having to have a tantrum, you having to deal with him having a tantrum? Now you’re that much more tensed and stressed out. The idea is to not be that way.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of “and”
- The importance of recognizing your children’s age limitations
- Why you don’t need to be wed to the outcome
- The power of one-on-one time
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Kristjana has three kids. The second used to be a great sleeper, but since moving to a toddler bed, his sleep is much more sporadic, and bedtime often results in tears and fighting. Kristjana just wants a good night’s sleep for her son and herself.
Today, we talk about how Kristjana can make the most of bedtime and let her son know that she wants to be with him and that he’s always welcome to join his parents next to their bed. We talk about the power of a sleeping bag, and we discuss how Kristjana can make bedtime more relaxing for her son. We also talk about how to transition to life with a new baby.
“It makes a difference when you tell your child that being with them and playing with them really matters to you.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Making bedtime relaxing
- The importance of preset guidelines
- Adjusting to a new youngest child
- The power of a sleeping bag
- The importance of letting your child know you want to be with him
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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JJ is concerned about his 9-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son, who lost interest in sports teams during covid. JJ is worried that his children won’t get enough physical activity or social interaction, which can provide important life skills.
Today, I talk with JJ about each of these aspects--physical and social--and we discuss alternative ways that his children can gain these skills. I note that his kids might be better suited for individual sports and talk about different ways that they can get social interaction all the same. I note that kids evolve and change over time, and I note the value of engaging your kids in the decision of what to do next. I talk about how the family is a team, and I talk about the benefits of viewing the end of one thing as an opportunity to try another.
“Instead of quitting, say, ‘Yeah, you’ve explored this. Now it’s time to find something else to explore.’”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Different ways to get physical activity and social interaction
- Quitting vs ending
- Recognizing that kids evolve and change over time
- Respectfully engaging your kids in the decision of what to do next
- The power of “why don’t we give it a try?”
- The family as a team
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jill’s 6-year-old daughter just won’t listen. And to add to that, when voices get raised even just a little, she hears yelling and the situation spirals. Jill is looking for ways to improve the situation for everyone.
Today, we talk about how to talk so your child actually hears what you’re saying. We discuss the power of kitchen timers and why it helps to use “and” instead of “but”. I note the importance of having disciplinary conversations in private, and we talk about the power of validation. We talk about why respect can’t just go one way, and we discuss tips for looking at the big picture so that small incidents don’t drive us crazy.
“The softer you speak, the more she’s gonna hear you.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of a kitchen timer
- The need for an emotional connection through validation
- The importance of respect towards your kids
- The importance of patience with your child’s growing process
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Bethany is a busy mom of two boys, ages 5 and 9. She’s a small business owner and runs some side hustles. Between her many obligations, she struggles to be present with her children while honoring her work commitments and staying true to herself. In addition, she’s looking for ways to minimize roughhousing, which tends to persist until one of the boys gets hurt.
Today, we begin by noting that Bethany doesn’t need to be present 24/7. We talk about why a little full attention is better than a lot of partial attention, and I note the power of scheduling. We talk about why your kids need to know that you want to spend time with them, and we talk about the need to be realistic about our capacity for different obligations. We note the futility of trying to permanently stop roughhousing, and I offer the strategy of brainstorming with the boys about potential roughhousing boundaries. We also discuss the importance of listening.
“See what they say, because sometimes they’ll be more reasonable than you think they will be.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of scheduling
- The importance of being realistic
- Why “but” doesn’t work
- The power of trial and error
- The power of a timer
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Alexandria is a single mother, small business owner, and professor trying to maneuver the pandemic with her 16-year-old daughter. Her daughter is struggling with anxiety about the everyday struggles of tenth grade in a pandemic. Alexandria is struggling to help her daughter, who often doesn’t want to hear her advice.
Today, we talk about the struggles of raising a teenager. We talk about what’s behind Alexandria’s daughter’s behavior. I note that at this stage it’s best to let your child know that you’re there for them if they need you and leave it at that. I talk about strategies to combat excessive time spent on social media, and I talk about the value of quality time and the power of a big hug. I talk about how to avoid her feeling pushed into doing things, and I note the value of patience.
“Rather than being the advice-giver, you’re being the support giver.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- How you can and can’t help your teenager
- Combating too much time spent on social media
- The value of scheduled quality time
- The power of a big hug
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Marissa has a 15-year-old daughter, and even though they spend most of their time physically together as Marissa does her virtual work as a lawyer and her daughter does her virtual school, they don’t get much quality time together. Marissa’s daughter often wants to tell her something, but Marissa tends to be too busy to hear it in the moment. Marissa is looking for ways to let her daughter know that she loves her and prioritizes her without dropping the ball at work.
Today, we talk about the power of scheduling. I note the importance of letting your child know how much quality time means to you (as opposed to just them), and I suggest the scheduling of breaks dedicated to quality time. I talk about the impact of putting these dates in planners, and I suggest that Marissa buys notebooks for each of them in which they can write what they want to tell each other.
“You’re doing this together, but you’re doing it because it really matters to you. And that’s the message that needs to come through most of all.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Letting your child know how much you love them
- The power of scheduling
- The power of a different environment
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Nidhi has three kids under the age of 4, and they’re all very close in age. The oldest has a feeding tube, and she’s recently moved to her younger sister’s bedroom. In a new room and a new bed, she regularly wakes up scared and runs to her parents’ room screaming. Nidhi is looking for ways to let her daughter know that she’s safe in her new room.
Today, we talk about how Nidhi can help her daughter. I suggest a very loving conversation about her fears, and I talk about the importance of totally reassuring her that she’s safe while also acknowledging and validating her fear. I suggest the use of a monitor or walkie-talkie, and I note that Nidhi should ask her daughter what she thinks about it. I talk about how Nidhi can normalize the difficulty of getting used to a new situation, and I stress the importance of using the word “safe” instead of just “okay”.
“The more you validate it, I think, the easier it’s gonna be for her.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of a loving conversation
- The importance of stressing safety
- Validating feelings and normalizing the experience of difficulty
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Christina has two kids with a third on the way, and in addition to worrying about how she’ll be able to give all three the attention they need once the new baby is born, she’s having trouble with tantrums. Both of her kids tend to throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want. Christina is looking for ways both to preemptively prevent tantrums and to handle them when they happen.
Today, we talk about insights into what’s behind the children’s tantrums. I note the value of specific, predictable, and regular rules. We talk about the importance of validating feelings instead of jumping in to fix problems, and I explain why this promotes resilience in your kids. We talk about the power of hugs and I introduce the idea of a time-in. I also note that nobody should need to share everything, and I talk about the usefulness of an Untouchable Box.
“The tantrum comes more because they don’t feel like you get it, and if you don’t get it, they’re gonna make sure that you do.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Preempting, preventing, and dealing with tantrums
- The value of predictability
- The importance of validation
- Why kids throw tantrums
- The power of hugs
- The Untouchable Box
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Stephanie has three kids--13 months, 2.5 years, and 5 years old--and they’re in a constant battle of sibling rivalry. Stephanie, who is constantly hearing their fighting and yelling, is fed up with everything turning into an argument, and she’s looking for strategies to instill more peace in the house.
Today, we talk about what sibling rivalry really is and discuss what Stephanie can and can’t do to help the situation. We talk about the value of alone time and using a kitchen timer. We talk about why it’s okay for the older two siblings to be annoyed by their baby sister, and I note that the limits for what the children can be allowed to work out on their own are farther than you’d think. I talk about the value of trial-and-error, and I introduce the idea of an Untouchable Box. Finally, I note that these strategies should be discussed when everyone’s calm instead of in the moment.
“Sibling rivalry is all about kids wanting to see who the parent loves most.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- What’s behind sibling rivalry
- The value of alone time and why it’s okay to need it
- The importance of letting your kids work it out
- The value of brainstorming and trial-and-error
- Why it’s helpful to let your kids know what the plan is
- The Untouchable Box and its uses
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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During the pandemic, Danielle has focused on prioritizing her parenting life. Now, 10 months in, she’s exhausted, and it has a lot to do with how little sleep she's getting. Her 3.5-year-old son wakes her up in the middle of the night and her 16-month-old daughter is used to a nighttime bottle feeding. Between the two of them, Danielle is struggling with sleep deprivation and the resulting exhaustion.
Today, I talk with Danielle about how she can talk to each of her kids to help resolve this problem. I note that her 16-month-old is old enough to understand, and I explain that it'll be helpful for Danielle not to make it about herself and her own need for sleep when she explains the situation to her toddler. I talk about the power of an expressions chart and a sleeping bag in resolving Danielle’s situation with her 3.5-year-old. Finally, I explain why guilt about the past isn't helpful.
“You’re accommodating him in his needs, and you're also accommodating your own.”
-Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Talking to your toddler
- The value of “and” over “but”
- Weaning your toddler off of a nightly milk bottle
- The power of a chart
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Stephanie and Sebastian are struggling with their 7-year-old daughter Heidi, who’s having a hard time coping with the birth and presence of her younger brother Lucas. Since Lucas was born, Heidi has become difficult, aggressive, and prone to violent temper tantrums. Stephanie and Sebastian are looking for ways to help Heidi understand that they still love her as much as ever.
Today, we talk about how they can get their love across to Heidi. I talk about the power of visual illustrations and offer a suggestion involving the flame of a candle. I note the importance of blocking out real, solid alone-time with your child, as well as of letting her know that you want this alone time just as much as she does. I note the need for the validation of her emotions, and I discuss how Stephanie can model healthy ways of expressing these emotions.
“Having feelings and the way in which she projects those feelings, are two different things.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The power of visual illustrations
- Modeling acceptable and healthy ways of dealing with emotions
- The importance of validation
- The value of universal language
- Why time-outs aren’t really helpful
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Reena’s 17-year-old daughter is only home for another year before she leaves for college, and Reena is looking for strategies to give her more freedom and less direction. Reena knows theoretically that this is the right thing to do, but she’s struggling to feel comfortable doing it.
Today, we talk about this universal parenting stage. I note that, often, kids come back, so to let go of the leash is not to say goodbye forever. I frame the year before college as a practice year to prepare for the drastic change in relationship dynamic that will occur when your child returns from college. I talk about the value of a respectful and open conversation, and I share some ways you can help prepare your child for the necessary self-sufficiency that comes with this stage in life. I talk about the importance of eliminating judgment when your child messes up, and I note that your children are still figuring everything out just like you, and that’s okay.
“If I wasn’t available, how would you approach this problem?”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The Imaginary Leash
- How to be there for your kids without being a helicopter parent
- The year before college as a practice year
- The value of a parenting community
- The power of predetermined guidelines
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jenny’s trying to reconcile her guilt from having a second child with the need to overcompensate with her first. I help with a new perspective and some strategies to help her firstborn manage her own anger and frustration with sharing Mommy.
Today, we talk about the value of validating your children’s feelings. I note that you can still have an intimate connection with your first child after your second comes along, and I offer some practical tips for making it happen. I note the value of scheduling, and I stress that it’s not a parent’s job to fix her child’s feelings.
“There’s no fixing in validation.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The value of scheduling alone time
- Why validation isn’t about fixing your child’s feelings
- Why validation is conducive to resilience
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Mark has two boys in their 20s. His 21-year-old is taking a very different life path than Mark had expected, and Mark is looking for tips for parents to get comfortable accepting their children’s decisions.
Today, we talk about this parenting skill. We discuss the importance of recognizing that our kids are who they are regardless of us, and of being guides and observers as opposed to engineers. We note the need for a level of trust and respect towards our kids, and we talk about how the bottom line is that your children know you love them and are there for them if they need you.
“As long as we send them off as capable human beings that can deal with whatever it is that life throws at them, then we’ve done our job.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Accepting your children’s autonomy
- Why you should trust and respect your children
- Why parenting doesn’t need to be a battle for control
- The importance of instilling resilience
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Aliza wants to be more comfortable with the different parenting styles and roles that her children are encountering. Additionally, Aliza recognizes that her "more reactive" style is allowing her kids to take control of situations that quickly lead to meltdowns. How can Aliza reduce her "more reactive" style of parenting and be open to other methods?
Today, I talk with Aliza about why we should be open to different styles of parenting. We talk about how having a "more reactive" style can encourage a child to act out and have more control of a situation. I suggest that Aliza be more willing to let the smaller problems slide if it means accomplishing her main parenting objective. We discuss the benefits of exposing your children to different parenting styles and how that can lead to new rules in the house that lets everyone feel in control.
“You do your own thing. Because if you think about it, if your child ended up having a different mother, they would be raised differently. We're not the only people that can figure out what's going to make our kids tick.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why everyone should develop their own relationship with your child
- The benefits of exposing your child to different parenting styles
- Accepting that not everyone is aware of your “mom plan”
- Exploring the negotiable and non-negotiable options of meltdowns
- Changing your perspective to achieve your ultimate goal
- Allowing your child to feel more in control of a situation
- Removing the fun of an argument with mom
- Navigating someone else’s parenting rules
- Revisiting new rules in a couple of months
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Mary’s four-year-old son Sawyer is constantly interrupting. Even though he has been taught ways to do so politely, his interruptions are no less distracting. How can Mary lovingly let him know both that he is a priority for her and that he needs to wait his turn?
Today, I talk with Mary about what is likely behind Sawyer’s behavior. We talk about his want to be included and prioritized, and we talk about ways Mary and her husband can provide these things for him without shirking their other responsibilities. I suggest that Mary and her son design a sign together to let him know when she’s busy and he should be doing something else. We talk about the value of signals and healthy boundaries, and I note the distinction between “but” and “and”. We discuss ways Mary can give Sawyer her full attention, even if it means limiting the time she’s on call for work. We also note the value of scheduling time together.
“Scheduling time together, even fifteen minutes, will be really helpful and really enjoyable.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The want for attention and engagement
- The value of predetermined signals
- “And” vs. “But”
- Navigating less pre-planned busy situations
- Making your child feel like a priority
- The importance of schedules
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Ali has two daughters, and her three-year-old--who has always been very adventurous and independent--has lately become curious and daring to the point of potential danger. Ali is looking for ways to keep her daughter safe without shutting down her bold curiosity or constantly telling her no.
Today, we talk about how she can do this. I discuss the power of reframing “No, because this will happen” into “What do you think will happen if…?” I talk about how Ali can encourage her daughter to do some critical thinking about possible outcomes before doing something rash out of curiosity. I note the value of small experiments in teaching this, and I talk about how revisiting earlier rash decisions that turned out badly can help Ali’s daughter overcome her fear around those decisions.
“By showing and letting her learn this on her own, you’re teaching her thinking skills and problem-solving skills”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Safely encouraging boldness
- Avoiding constantly saying no
- Raising an independent child
- The power of reframing
- Empowering intelligent curiosity
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Allana’s 5-year-old son has trouble controlling his anger. When he wants something, he wants it, and he’ll ask and ask until he gets it. When he doesn’t get it, he’ll throw a temper tantrum and sometimes act out physically in his anger.
Today, Alanna and I talk about what could be behind these temper tantrums. We talk about how being the oldest kid can affect the amount of attention a child gets and how the child will often act out to try to get the attention he craves. We discuss how to overcome the temptation to just not deal with him when he’s being difficult. We talk about the importance of putting yourself in his shoes, as well as of letting him know that it’s okay to feel these emotions while at the same time setting clear boundaries about the right and wrong ways to respond to them. We talk about the effectiveness of setting aside alone time with your child, as well as giving him responsibilities around the house. We conclude with some takeaway practical advice and the importance of establishing “good” and “bad” as modifiers of behavior, not people.
“You’re making an emotional connection with him. And that is what’s important.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- A possible source of relentlessness and disobedience
- Why it’s important to set aside one-on-one time with your child
- How to make your child feel that they’re an important part of the family
- How to deal with your child when you don’t want to be around them
- Setting boundaries for how to respond to anger
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Elle has two kids, and her ten-year-old daughter is struggling at an age where, if it weren’t for COVID, she’d be starting to look to peers to discover who she is becoming. She doesn’t get the chance to interact with her friends as much as she’d like, and she tends to let her feelings build up until they turn into a meltdown about something often unrelated.
Today, we talk about what Elle can do about the situation. We note the importance of showing your child (and not just telling her) that it’s okay to talk about your feelings, and that this makes moving past them easier. We talk about the importance of letting her know that you’re not perfect either, and that she shouldn’t be ashamed to feel anxious. We discuss why it’s not a parent’s job to fix these feelings, but to let her know that you’re there for her when she’s having them. We talk about why you shouldn’t just give your children the answers to their problems, no matter how tempting it is.
“It’s important for us to talk about our feelings...and it’s okay if it’s not always good.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why, the more you talk about your feelings, the easier it becomes to work through them
- Showing your children that you have difficult feelings too
- Why it’s not your role to fix your child’s feelings or problems
- The importance of letting your children know you’re there for them
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Whitnee has a 2.5-year-old son who is struggling to cope with big changes as the family moves to a new city. He always wants Whitnee to play with him, even when she’s not able to. How can Whitnee help him to understand that she can’t spend all of her time playing with him, as much as she’d like to?
Today, I share with Whitnee the importance of validating his feelings. We talk about why, in the middle of upheaval, he looks to her for security, and I suggest that she schedule little play breaks. I point out the importance of making it clear that she’s not doing him a favor when she plays with him; she wants to. I note the helpfulness of a kitchen timer and explain how to use it in this situation. I offer some terminology to help him with the feeling that Whitnee is with him even when they’re not playing.
“I think he’s wanting to be with you more because you give him security.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of scheduling
- Validation of feelings
- The need for security
- Some helpful terminology
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Ashley is a mom of two with another little one on the way. Her oldest daughter--3 and a half--is very helpful with specific tasks when she feels that she’s contributing to the household, but when it comes to picking up after herself, she’ll manipulate and lie to get out of it. Ashley is looking for practical tips to discourage this behavior.
Today, we talk about getting your kids to clean up after themselves. We talk about the importance of redefining picking up as part of what you’re doing (Mommy picking up her yoga mat is part of doing yoga, and picking up toys is part of playing with them). We talk about the benefits of turning it into a game and the huge perks of using a kitchen timer. We talk about how helpful it can be to do work side-by-side with your child. We also discuss ways to discourage lying and manipulative behavior in general by letting your child know early on that it doesn’t work.
“If you turn this into a game, it’ll be more fun for you too.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Redefining picking up after yourself
- Using a kitchen timer to turn cleanup into a game
- Responding to manipulation with solutions that your child obviously doesn’t want
- Working side-by-side with your child
- Emphasizing the good things about cleanup
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Lauren has two incredibly loud and energetic boys. Between the lockdown, running her own business, her husband working full time, and the boys needing help with school, it adds a lot of stress, noise, and distraction in the house. Lauren is looking for ways to handle this situation.
Today, we talk about the possibility of reframing this crazy year as a life skill and self-sufficiency learning year. We discuss ways to introduce important life skills at their level and how much it helps to introduce them as a cool, adult privilege instead of a new obligation. We talk about the importance of respect in teaching these life skills and about different ways to make the shift special. I also offer tips to help the boys get their energy out of their system in a less exhausting way.
“‘How long do you think it’s gonna take you to do this particular piece of homework?...How long do you think it’s gonna take you to get dressed?’ All those little elements start adding up to learning those life skills.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- How helpful it can be to teach your children self-sufficiency
- The importance of framing new changes as something special and exciting
- Knowing when to adjust your goals and priorities
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Jennifer has three kids, and her youngest--the 2-year-old--won’t sleep through the night. She goes to sleep with no trouble, but every night she’ll come into her parents’ room in the middle of the night and join them in their bed. Between homeschooling the boys and running a business, Jennifer and her husband need sleep, so this isn’t a sustainable practice.
Today, we talk about a potential solution for Jennifer and her husband: setting up a sleeping bag in the bedroom as a compromise. We discuss what seems to be behind this behavior and talk about the importance of clearness when setting new boundaries. We discuss the importance of letting your child know that it’s okay to feel how she feels and that you understand, as well as refraining from snuggling with or singing to her when she comes in and you need to put her back to bed.
“You can’t force your kid to fall asleep, you can’t force feed them, and you can’t force them to use the potty...They will always win, no matter what, with those three things. And so the more you understand how they’re feeling and how you can work around it to make everybody happy and make it work for everyone, the better off it’ll be.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of letting your child know you understand how she’s feeling
- Why it’s okay to compromise with your child sometimes
- Being clear about boundaries
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Salwa’s 4-year-old daughter is incredibly smart and mature. She understands and makes connections at a much more advanced level than other kids her age. But when she doesn’t understand something, it has a devastating effect on her and she tends to shut down. Further, the problem has begun to leak into other parts of her life: her inability in most areas will produce the same effect in her.
Today, we talk about the perfectionistic tendencies behind this behavior and what Salwa can do to encourage her daughter to try new things even when she might not succeed. We talk about instilling the idea that you don’t have to put 100% of yourself into everything you do, and that it’s okay not to be good at everything. We define positive reinforcement and discuss why the common understanding of it can be problematic. We talk about introducing the concept of trial and error, and we discuss the benefits of talking to your children about your failures and explaining that they’re actually an exciting chance to experiment and play around with ideas.
“Reinforcement comes from engagement.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Counteracting perfectionism
- Explaining that it’s okay not to be good at everything
- Internalizing positive reinforcement in your child
- Emphasizing the process over the result
- Introducing the concept of trial and error
- Explaining the benefits of failure
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Marnie has three older kids--14, 17, and 20--who get frustrated because, when they come to her with problems, she offers solutions and tries to fix the problems for them. Marnie is looking for a new approach to this situation.
Today, we discuss the job of parents, and how it’s not to solve kids’ problems for them. We talk about the importance of asking questions to help them solve problems on their own, as well as of giving your kids credit for their ability to figure things out--an ability that will only increase with encouragement. We discuss how, once your kids reach a certain age, you’re out of the rescuing business. Finally, we talk about how to help a child who’s frozen between decisions, as well as one who worries about having made the wrong one.
“As a parent, you’re there to help them with the process, not the decision.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why asking questions helps your kids learn to problem solve
- Why figuring problems out is part of the process of growing
- How to respond if your kid asks for your opinion
- Instilling the habit of thinking through a problem
- Using a non-judgmental tone when they’ve messed up
- Teaching your kids not to look back too much after they’ve made a decision
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Adrianna’s 6-year-old girl has always been incredibly cooperative, but recently she’s become very defiant. Whether it’s refusing to do what she’s asked to do or arguing with the answer to her own question, she feels that she’s smarter than her parents and questions everything.
Today, Adrianna and I talk about what may be behind this sudden change. We talk about every kid’s eventual realization that they can have control in a given situation, and we note that she’s frustrated with how little control she has. We talk about encouraging pride without encouraging arrogance, as well as how to get the point across that questioning is good but needs to be done politely. We talk about ways to give her more control and empower her without sacrificing boundaries. Finally, we note the importance of validating her feelings.
“One way you could handle it is to get angry at her for saying those things, but my philosophy is that anger never really works well.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- How to handle a child who is realizing that she has control
- Encouraging pride without arrogance
- Explaining that questioning is good but has to be done politely and respectfully
- Ways to make a child feel empowered without sacrificing boundaries
- The importance of following validation with “and” instead of “but”
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Erin has two boys, 7 and 9, who can’t sit still at dinnertime. Erin and her husband want a nice family dinner every night, but the boys complain about the food, jump up and down, and can’t seem to get the cleanup done.
Today, Erin and I talk about what she can do about the situation. We talk about how it might be a good idea to cut family dinners down to five times a week, and I offer the suggestion that the boys do something to release all of their energy before sitting down each evening. We talk about the possibility of planning dinners in advance with the boys’ input so that they won’t be unhappily surprised at dinnertime, and we discuss doing something fun at dinner. Regarding cleanup, we talk about framing it as a way to contribute to the family now that they’re old enough, instead of as chores. I note that she can leave the boys to take care of it themselves instead of watching over the process, and I offer the suggestion of setting a kitchen timer for them.
“It’s not a chore; it’s your contribution to mealtime.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- How to take care of ants in the pants
- The benefits of planning dinners in advance
- Doing something fun at dinner and teaching your kids how to have conversations
- How to frame chores so that your kids will be proud to do them
- The importance of a kitchen timer
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Isabelle's kids--a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year old boy--get on each other’s nerves. He knows just the buttons to push and she overreacts immediately when he pushes them.
Today, Isabelle and I talk about what steps she can take towards solving this problem. We talk about how it’s not her fault or failure as a mother, and how it’s natural and normal for people who love each other to get on each other’s nerves. We talk about how it’s likely that they’re testing to see who Isabelle loves more, and how the best approach for Isabelle is not to take sides, but instead to let them work it out on their own. We talk about the importance of agreeing on boundaries and figuring out solutions together instead of Isabelle imposing a solution on them. We end by discussing the importance of a loving tone and by noting that the change won’t be immediate.
“If they’re gonna hit each other, then they’re gonna hit each other” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- Why it’s okay to get each other’s nerves
- Giving the kids the right to be in control
- Coming up with a silly code word to let the other know you need alone time
- Agreement of boundaries
- The importance of validating how they feel
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Angela's family--particularly her three daughters of very different ages--have been living on top of each other for a year (since COVID started), and their frustration is spilling over. Often they’ll get along great, but often they’ll get on each other’s nerves. Emotions explode and stress ensues.
Today, Angela and I talk about how to deal healthily and effectively with this kind of situation. We talk about the importance of alone time and how helpful it is to have a buzzword or -phrase when you need it. We discuss how helpful it can be to sit down together and brainstorm solutions to different scenarios, and how this practice is a great opportunity to teach your kids about trial and error. We talk about how everyone is allowed to have feelings--it’s how you show and process them that sometimes needs work. We talk about how, as the parent, you can talk about your own feelings to your children to let them know that you struggle with emotions too. We also discuss the importance of using consistent terminology with your kids when talking about emotions so that they can learn to identify what they’re feeling in a given moment.
“It’s so natural for people to get on each other’s nerves, even when you love them and they love you.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- The importance of giving yourself and your family permission to take alone time
- The effectiveness of brainstorming solutions together
- Why everyone is allowed to have feelings
- The importance of talking about and identifying your own emotions with your kids
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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Allana’s 5-year-old son has trouble controlling his anger. When he wants something, he wants it, and he’ll ask and ask until he gets it. When he doesn’t get it, he’ll throw a temper tantrum and sometimes act out physically in his anger.
Today, Alanna and I talk about what could be behind these temper tantrums. We talk about how being the oldest kid can affect the amount of attention a child gets and how the child will often act out to try to get the attention he craves. We discuss how to overcome the temptation to just not deal with him when he’s being difficult. We talk about the importance of putting yourself in his shoes, as well as of letting him know that it’s okay to feel these emotions while at the same time setting clear boundaries about the right and wrong ways to respond to them. We talk about the effectiveness of setting aside alone time with your child, as well as giving him responsibilities around the house. We conclude with some takeaway practical advice and the importance of establishing “good” and “bad” as modifiers of behavior, not people.
“You’re making an emotional connection with him. And that is what’s important.” - Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- A possible source of relentlessness and disobedience
- Why it’s important to set aside one-on-one time with your child
- How to make your child feel that they’re an important part of the family
- How to deal with your child when you don’t want to be around them
- Setting boundaries for how to respond to anger
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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The Parenting Mentor Sessions is the place where real moms and dads call in and open up about their parenting struggles. Here, you can listen in on my conversations with these parents to get strategies, skills, and scripts to reduce the everyday anxiety that inevitably comes with being a parent.
Today, I give some background. I offer my own story of raising two kids, and I share how I gradually learned what does and doesn’t work, as well as what it does and doesn’t mean to be a parent. I offer my philosophy about the role of a parent and talk about how everyday childrearing is more about the process than about the immediate results. I talk about why parents should be guides and support systems for their children, not human engineers. I discuss why you can’t walk them through every situation, but why you can (and should) equip them to be able to navigate different situations on their own. Finally, I introduce my CLEARR Method.
“Parenting is not an eighteen-year engineering project.”
- Sue Groner
This week on The Parenting Mentor:
- All about the Parenting Mentor Sessions
- Sue’s story
- Why parenting is often more about the process than about the immediate results
- Why you should let your kids move at their own pace
- Being a guide instead of an engineer
- The importance of instilling resilience and self-reliance
- The CLEARR Method
Meet the Parenting Mentor
If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you.
Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.
Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don’t forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts!
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