Gleeful Talk Show: Recent Episodes
Glee
Sharing zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero within. Guests from all over the world impart their personal experiences, opinions or expertise to help us lead a gleeful life. From developing healthy habits and mindset, to pursuing personal goals, or understanding ourselves and relationships better, you'll definitely have something to learn AND laugh at each episode.
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In this episode of the Gleeful Talk Show, we dive deep into the highs and lows of House of the Dragon Season 2 with special guest Yvonne from the Bits and Pieces podcast. We share our thoughts on key moments, character arcs, and the overall storytelling of the season. From gut-wrenching battles and powerful performances to disappointing plot elements, this discussion covers it all. Join us for an engaging chat about our favorite characters, scenes, and some light-hearted banter on the side. Note: Spoilers ahead!00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:49 Guest Introduction: Yvonne from Bits and Pieces Podcast01:02 Discussing House of the Dragon Season 203:05 Expectations for Season 205:59 Pilot Episode Reactions09:59 Daemon's Hallucinations15:01 Battle of Rook's Rest19:25 Character Analysis: Aemond and Aegon22:20 Character Analysis: Ser Criston Cole27:01 Parading Maelys' Head29:21 Otto Hightower's Strategy32:05 Corlys Velaryon's Change of Heart34:58 Disappointments and Hallucinations36:15 Debating Targaryen Fire Immunity37:18 Favorite Characters of the Season39:47 The Bastard Dilemma41:40 Naming Conventions and Misunderstandings44:03 Rhaenyra and Alicent: Friendship or More?50:23 Team Black vs. Team Green54:16 Season Highlights and Ratings01:00:05 Final Thoughts and Farewell
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In this episode of the Gleeful Talk Show, we delve into the profound impact of choices on our lives. We explore about the challenges of making decisions, drawing on research from experts like Dr. Sheena Iyengar, Dr. Daniel Kahneman, and Professor Barry Schwartz. We explore how both minor and major decisions shape our futures, the psychology behind decision-making, and practical tips for making better choices. Join us as we uncover the freedom and responsibility that comes with the power to choose and how to navigate decision-making to lead a more fulfilling life.00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back01:22 The Power of Making Choices03:27 Expert Insights on Decision Making06:04 Psychology Behind Decision Making10:36 Freedom and Responsibility of Choice15:58 Practical Tips for Better Decision Making20:37 Embracing the Journey of Making Choices21:59 Conclusion
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In this episode of the Gleeful Talk Show, we explore the often stigmatized concept of quitting and how it can be a strategic and positive action for personal and professional growth. The discussion includes insights from Dr. Henry Cloud's book 'Necessary Endings', a study from the University of Rochester on the benefits of letting go of unattainable goals, and real-life examples from Arianna Huffington and Brandon Stanton. The episode also delves into the psychological concept of the sunk cost fallacy and the importance of balancing perseverance with knowing when to quit. Ultimately, it’s about recognizing when something is no longer serving you and having the courage to make a change.00:00 Introduction00:33 The Stigma of Quitting01:14 Expert Insights on Quitting02:04 Generational Perspectives on Quitting03:52 Studies Supporting Quitting04:39 Personal Reflections on Quitting05:58 Real-Life Examples of Quitting08:23 Understanding Sunk Cost Fallacy12:12 Host's Personal Experience with Quitting15:48 Conclusion and Takeaways
In this episode of the Gleeful Talk Show, the host delves into the topic of life's transitions and seasonality. This episode discusses how life changes can evoke anxiety but also bring beauty and growth. The host shares personal experiences, including their unexpected journey into parenthood, and reflects on adapting to significant life changes. They emphasize the importance of embracing change, celebrating small wins, and relying on a support system. The episode aims to offer comfort and practical advice for listeners navigating their own life's transitions.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:11 Life Seasonality and Transitions
01:43 Personal Transition: Expecting a Child
03:19 Embracing Change and New Beginnings
09:34 The Importance of Resilience
14:09 Career and Personal Growth
17:27 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
18:47 Closing Remarks and Call to Action
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Deep Dive into 'Baby Reindeer' and Its Societal Impact
This episode delves into 'Baby Reindeer,' a Netflix show based on a true story about a comedian stalked by a woman he meets at a bar. With over 56 million views since its premiere, the show has sparked controversy and discussion due to its true-to-life portrayal and the subsequent discovery of the real individuals involved. The host explores various themes presented in the series, such as mental health, trauma, stalking, obsession, grief, power imbalance, authenticity, and identity, and discusses the controversy surrounding the show's depiction of true events versus fictionalized content. Additionally, the episode covers the societal impact and the different reactions from audiences, touching on broader issues like stalking, consent, and the complexities of human emotions and relationships.
00:00 Introduction to the Gleeful Talk Show
00:47 Deep Dive into 'Baby Reindeer': Overview and Personal Thoughts
07:52 Exploring the Controversies Surrounding 'Baby Reindeer'
15:42 Analyzing Societal Themes in 'Baby Reindeer'
27:21 Concluding Thoughts and Invitation for Feedback
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This Mother's Day episode of the Gleeful Talk Show, we share heartfelt original poems dedicated to all mothers, mother figures, and soon-to-be moms. I expressed my admiration for mothers' unfading love, strength, and the irreplaceable role they play in our lives, through poetic tributes that explore themes of eternal love, gratitude, and the unique superpowers of moms. The narrative weaves personal anecdotes, societal observations, and a vision of multifaceted womanhood, against the backdrop of my own journey into motherhood. By celebrating the multifaceted roles a mother embodies, from a comforting presence to a beacon of resilience, this episode serves as an ode to moms everywhere, encouraging listeners to acknowledge and appreciate the profound impact of maternal love in shaping lives.
00:00 Welcome to the Gleeful Talk Show: A Mother's Day Special
00:32 Celebrating Mother's Day with Heartfelt Poems
00:46 A Mother's Love: Poems and Reflections
02:44 Mom's Superpowers: A Tribute to Multitasking Moms
04:22 Mom's Recipe for Love: A Personal Reflection
07:46 Eternal Embrace: A Poem for the Mothers We Miss
09:53 Closing Thoughts: A Tribute to All Moms
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On this episode, we discuss 3 different leaders from 3 different universes and timeline - Dune 2, Rebel Moon 2 and Shogun. We unpack their attributes on what makes them a good leader - a kind reminder to ourselves to be the leader we want to be.
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Today's episode is something inspiring for you!
Some of the words I live by, that shaped my life choices, and I hope this will inspire you as well!
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Hey Zesties!
It's been awhile since I've published an episode!
I've got some exciting news to share, and I hope you will celebrate it with me! :)
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What did I do Last Christmas?
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I'm quite fascinated with the story of the origins of the Chinese Zodiac. This episode explores the origin story behind 12 Chinese zodiac and the cultural significance of the Lunar New Year.
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SOURCES:
https://www.purewow.com/wellness/chinese-zodiac-elements
https://billingslibrary.org/
https://www.voanews.com/a/why-vietnam-is-celebrating-the-year-of-the-cat-not-the-rabbit/6928201.html#
This episode is a recap and review of the third season of the South Korean TV show "Singles Inferno."
I shared an analysis, personal opinion and favourite moments from the season, including a commentary on the editing and narrative choices of the show.
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On the Golden Globe fiasco...
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On this episode, I am reacting to what transpired in the Golden Globes:
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The cringe moments of the night
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Why Taylor swift was not happy about a joke not entirely throwing shade at her
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And why Robert Downey Jr, one of the actor in Oppenheimer was defending Barbie
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And more!
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Better late than never, Zesties! This episode was supposed to air before Christmas! But alas, I had a sporadic and surprising last-minute trip, so I was only able to publish it this week!
I will tell you about the amazing trip I have in the next week or so!
For now, here are my top picks for shows and movies to spice up your Holiday break!
Is there a trick to outwit scammers online?
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Did you ever dream of going to a place, doing a particular thing or experiencing something, but just couldn't be successful after an attempt or two?
In this episode, I share about my recent Japan trip, and the top 10 pleasantly surprising experiences I had on that trip - coming from a person already obsessed with the culture!
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Why are Filipinos Obsessed with Beauty Pageants? Turns out it's in our 'roots'...
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Hey Zesties, I'm back!
This episode is a sit-down chit chat where I tackled:
-
Why I was away for a few weeks without episodes
-
The growing homelessness in Australia
-
Break-ins in Brisbane
Big thanks for Gem / Rarusuchin for all your support!
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- In this episode, we delve into the science of measuring happiness.
- What makes a nation happy?
- If ignorance is bliss, are intelligent people unhappy?
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Zesties, we'd like to hear from you!
Please let us know what topics you would like to hear on the Gleeful Talk Show.
We'd like to give you the opportunity to shape your Gleeful Journey with us!
Please share your responses through comments on Spotify, DMs on our socials or email to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com.
We're so excited to hear form you!
This episode is a discussion about:
-
Immigration
-
Mass media in the Philippines
-
Colonisation
-
The multi-faceted aspects of Filipino mindset and its society
There will be a debate, as the topic is quite heavy and might be triggering to some.
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Timestamps:
[00:00:28] Intro
[00:01:37] Why did Ray leave the Philippines?
[00:06:02] Is there hope for a better future or progress
[00:08:36] Is colonization to be blamed for the slow or lack of progress
[00:12:16] Why we stayed and not helped the nation
[00:17:44] Addressing basic needs of society
[00:19:25] If Philippines was not colonised, would we have progressed more?
[00:24:37] Would we have left the country if it wasn't colonised?
[00:28:22] The brain drain phenomena
[00:32:39] How do you define success?
[00:35:54] The debate on the impact of mass media entertainment
[00:55:48] Would you define success differently if you have been born in a first world country?
[00:57:48] Closing remarks
Have you ever wondered why Baby Boomers, Millennials, Gen X and Gen Z's differ (and refute) each other to some extent?
This episode explores the generational echoes by unravelling values, attitudes and societal impacts experienced by these generations.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
—————————
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
A commentary on the Barbenheimer phenomenon and cultural significance of Robert Oppenheimer's invention.
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
This episode is a very chill, casual, sit-down episode where I talk about why I started the podcast in the first place, what were my fears of putting out content and how I overcame it.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
—————————
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Ed Sheeran concert I mentioned on this episode: https://youtu.be/Umnfz2Ztz8Y?si=B-gtyqxOLV8vVqf9
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Does cancel culture undermine freedom of speech or is it the necessary consequence of exercising that freedom irresponsibly?
In this episode, we navigate cancel culture by:
- Decoding cancel culture and accountability
- The pros and cons of cancel culture
- Echoes of social media and herd mentality
- A call for nuanced discourse
—————————
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
This is in response the a Zestie's email, Jen.
Jen is planning to immigrate to Australia and has asked on some tips on how to integrate to the Land Down Under.
Big shoutout to Gem / Rarusuchin for the continued support!
- Note: The audio on this episode is a quieter than the usual ones. Please turn up your volume if you cannot hear it properly. This issue has been addressed in future episodes*
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This episode is in response to a listener's question on Why her Filipino relatives in the U.S. or in the Philippines ask when she will find a boyfriend or when will she get married?
Thanks Joanne, from Los Angeles, U.S. for sending this question!
This episode talks about the reasons and factors why Filipinos tend to ask questions that are considered "taboo" or "inappropriate" in Western cultures.
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On this episode, I talk about the top 5 reason why I left the Philippines. As much as how I love the Philippines and its culture, it's not perfect. And I needed to find the right balance for myself, even if it's moving out of the country.
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Why I chose Australia of all countries?
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Following one of our previous episodes last season about Indian Matchmaking, one of our listeners have wrote to us asking about being 37 and single.
In this episode, we talk about:
-
Why we tend to settle in finding a partner
-
Anecdotes and pieces of advice from prominent figures on relationships and finding a partner
-
Qualities to consider in finding a partner
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
I'm back!
Welcome to a new season! Thank you Zesties for sticking around 5 seasons.
Here's a run down of my recent trip from New Zealand...
New Zealand (Not A) Vlog : https://youtu.be/2h7GWSDMkYw
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
This episode is about:
- What the Netflix show 'Indian Matchmaking' is about?
- What do I think of the show and the matchmaking culture in general?
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
- What's the gist of Ed Sheeran's 2022 and 2023 copyright infringement court cases?
- How did he won the latest court case on 'Thinking Out Loud'?
- How similar were the songs?
- What do I think of Ed Sheeran's newest 'Subtract' Album?
- What's the gist of Ed Sheeran's newest Disney+ documentary, 'The Sum of It All'?
- What was the embarrassing travel story that I think Zesties could learn from?
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Polyamory is a form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy that involves having romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time. Ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy describes relationships in which all parties are aware of and consent to practice non-monogamy. I noticed many TV shows and movies slowly adapting or showing this relationship dynamic. Some say it's good for representation but others say it's not a good suggestion especially for kids. On this episode, we find out more about it...
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
What happens when a diverse set of guests talk about "The Glory"?!
Lots of laughter, chaos (in a good way), and insights!
Our specials guests are Monica, who is Korean-ethnicity and Ash, who is Singaporean-ethnicity.
Join us as we tackle the social issues, life philosophies, subplots and season review of Netflix's hottest South Korean drama, The Glory.
SPOILER ALERT
This episode is for 18 and above only.
Check out my previous episode talking about Season 1:
Website: https://www.gleefultalkshow.com/e/s3e3-is-the-school-violence-depicted-in-netflix-s-the-glory-as-brutal-in-real-life/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7u4Y2yj3XVAu6AM0AKdT2P?si=13b17b36f78c42a7
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/gleeful-talk-show/id1550498106?i=1000595968804
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Back in January '23, I sent out a poll to the Zesties on my instagram asking about what advice will they give to their younger self?
This episode is a collation of all the responses from you, Zesties, and some public figures, to remind and inspire our present selves.
Thank you Zesties for sending in your responses!
Some of the stuff I mentioned on this episode:
Episode about dealing with grief:
https://www.gleefultalkshow.com/e/s3e12-coping-with-grief-mourning-and-moving-on/
Book mentioned: No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering by Thich Nhat Hanh
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Hey Zestie, it's been awhile!
I have been sorting out some things in my life, hence, the inspiration for this episode!
This episode talks about:
-
What is 'letting go'?
-
The benefits of letting go, including research studies
-
Why is letting go so hard?
-
Tips for letting go
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Hey Zesties, I have been on a hiatus for the past few weeks.
I'm not entirely back, but I'm slowly easing my way in back to podcasting and recording episodes.
On this episode, I'm going to share some realisations of people who are around my age - 30-something!
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Sharing my personal experience of going alone to Ed Sheeran’s Mathematics Tour Concert.
On this episode, I talked about:
- The Mathematics concert
- Why I went alone
- How is the stage, the seating, the stage setup and Suncorp’s setup
- The opening acts
- Overall concert experience
Have you been to Ed Sheeran’s concert?
Comment down below.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
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Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Is courtship practiced in your culture?
Well, in the Filipino culture, it is. The longer the courtship period, the better. But, is it really better?
Let's find out.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
In this episode, I tackle:
Why do Filipinos don't like brown skin?
What were my observations growing up on colorism in the Philippines?
How I ended up loving my brown skin
Essay mentioned on this episode: http://www.positivelyfilipino.com/magazine/why-white-is-beautiful-among-filipinos
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
What’s today’s episode is about?
- The Glory
- Topics to discuss:
- The storyline
- In relation to real life bullying
- Statistics
- Effects of bullying on long term health
- Why do people bully others?
- My own bullying journey
- Healing journey
Resources:
https://keia.org/the-peninsula/south-koreas-struggle-with-school-violence/
School Violence Prevention and Countermeasures Act
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/gleefultalkshow
Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
On this episode I talk about:
-
What is Single's Inferno?
-
What do I think about the cast/characters? How can we related them in real life?
-
What are the cultural implications of the dating show?
-
Key takeaways
-
Some few spoilers, but I didn't mention who ended up with who.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/gleefultalkshow
Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
On this episode, I talk about:
-
where did the practice of new year's resolutions actually came from?
-
what are my new year's resolutions?
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
On this episode, I talk about:
-
where did new year's resolutions actually came from?
-
why new year's resolutions are important/not important
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
Instagram: instagram.com/gleefultalkshow
Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/gleefultalkshow
Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Happy new year, Zesties!
On this episode we talk about:
-
Where did the practice of having new year's resolution started? And When?
-
Why I don't really have a new year's resolution
-
What do I do instead of a new year's resolution
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
Share to your friends
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Happy new year zesties! Hope you had a wonderful new year celebration and break!
Because I had some few days of break, I was able to finish reading the book entitled "A Man Called Ove".
This is a heart-warming and heart-wrenching book, that makes you realise the important things in life.
If you want to know more of what I think, please keep on listening.
If you have read the book and would like to share your thoughts, please send in a voice memo to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
That's it folks, the last episode of the year 2022!
Thanks so much for your support this past year!
We've hit a big milestone this year, and I couldn't have done it without you!
I've shared my top 3 episodes, plus some runners-up. I've also shared the best-performing episodes of Season 4, and more!
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
This episode talks about potential reasons of our anxiety during the holidays and how to pivot from it.
If you are anxious more often than not, please seek out professional help.
This episode is more of a personal opinion/layman's advice.
Have a wonderful Christmas and abundant New Year!
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Deep dive on Netflix's Wednesday and more!
Catch up with fellow nerd, Ray, of the Nerdy Fans Podcast.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/nerdyfanspodcast
Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
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Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Recently Jennifer Aniston shared her struggle with fertility, for the first time amidst decades of speculations. In this episode, I weigh in my thoughts around the public's opinions, shared some bits and pieces about IVF and my two cents for those people who choose to live child-free.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Try it through: https://riverside.fm/?utm_campaign=campaign_1&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=rewardful&via=glee
Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
In this episode, we talk about Takotsubo Syndrome or the Broken Heart Syndrome and how to prevent it.
I also shared the last romantic heartache I had, along with the learnings I got form it.
If you'd like to share your personal experience, please send an audio file or in text format to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com and I might read it on the next episode! You can be completely anonymous and not.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two! https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
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Website: www.nerdyfanspodcast.com
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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In this episode, I share my thoughts about the newest Filipino historical drama, Maria Clara at Ibarra, inspired by one of the most important Filipino literature of all time - Noli Me Tangere. I share my personal experiences reading about the actual novel, the cultural implications of Maria Clara and more!
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In this episode, I recount the experiences that reshaped how I view things in life. I invite you Zesties, to do your own reflection as well. Please share it on the comments on our page!
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I recently discovered this gem of a show at Amazon Prime. This episode is a commentary on the events that happened in the period between 1958-1960s (Season 1 -2) on the show entitled The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
What do you think of this show?
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I recently got back from a long-awaited Eat, Pray and Love type of vacation!
I described the places I went to, and my realisations along the way.
How about you Zesties, what thoughts do you ponder when you travel?
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Based on a request from a Zestie, Ray and I are reviewing The Sandman, now streaming on Netflix!
There will be no episode for the next couple of weeks Zesties! I am off for a holiday! Will be back in October! :)
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Based on a request from a Zestie, Ray and I are reviewing The Sandman, now streaming on Netflix!
There will be no episode for the next couple of weeks Zesties! I am off for a holiday! Will be back in October! :)
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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First half of the show will talk about overview of the House Of The Dragon, the relation to the book Fire and Blood. Whilst second half will have some minor spoilers where I talk about the characters, actors, thoughts about what transpired in Ep1. There will be no major spoilers here, and I'm only going to talk about what has been shared on public by the creators.
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
First half of the show will talk about overview of the House Of The Dragon, the relation to the book Fire and Blood. Whilst second half will have some minor spoilers where I talk about the characters, actors, thoughts about what transpired in Ep1. There will be no major spoilers here, and I'm only going to talk about what has been shared on public by the creators.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Check out my blog: www.theambivertlife.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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I wanted to share a book I recently read, entitled The Book Lovers by Emily Henry. The title isn't that enticing, but don't judge the book by it's cover (and title!).
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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I wanted to share a book I recently read, entitled The Book Lovers by Emily Henry. The title isn't that enticing, but don't judge the book by it's cover (and title!).
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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A very personal and vulnerable episode of my sharing my story of being bullied.
In this episode, I share some of the details of the incidents and the lifelong learnings I got from experiencing this area in my life.
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In this episode, I share my recent experience about applying for Schengen Visa. Not having been able to travel for holiday in 3 years pose a lot of difficulties and some memory errors.
Find out why this episode has quite an odd title!
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I've invited real-life couple, Jeddy and Jono, to sit down with me and talk about some differences and commonalities in the dating scene in Australia and the Philippines. For new zesties, Jeddy is one of our guests in Season 1, where she shared how she met a guy in a dating app. And guess who that guy is! You'll know more on this episode!
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I've invited real-life couple, Jeddy and Jono, to sit down with me and talk about some differences and commonalities in the dating scene in Australia and the Philippines. For new zesties, Jeddy is one of our guests in Season 1, where she shared how she met a guy in a dating app. And guess who that guy is! You'll know more on this episode!
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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We continue from the last episode...
We talk about
- What's fact and fiction between real-life events and the Dropout show
- The trial of Elizabeth Holmes and Sunny Balwani
- Where is Erika Cheung and Tyler Schultz now?
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In this episode, we talk about the beginnings of Theranos, starting with the founder, Elizabeth Holmes, to the ultimate demise of the company due to fraud.
Theranos was an American company that claimed is has a breakthrough technology to revolutionise health care. Founded in 2003 by a 19-year old Stanford dropout, Elizabeth Holmes. The company has raised more than US $700M from venture capitalists and private investors, resulting a $10B valuation at its peak in 2013-2014. The company claimed it has a technology to provide accurate diagnosis through a finger-prick of blood performed from their proprietary intellectual property, the Edison machine. These claims were later proven to be false.
This episode is Part 1 of the whole story, where I share highlights of what transpired and background information.
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Welcome to Season 4!
Zesties, I hear you!
I'm making more episodes about global and social news!
In this episode, we talk about some of the details of R. Kelly's 30-year prison sentence and on what counts.
Later on the episode, we talk about the tragic assassination of Japan's longest-reigning leader, ex Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
Thanks so much for listening these past few seasons!
I read the responses on the survey and the personal messages on what other topics you want to listen to on the show.
Please stay tuned next week for the first episode of Season 4!
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Thanks Zesties for your patience in waiting for this episode to come out!
Life just got in the way of making this podcast! Lol.
This week's episode is all about celebrating Pride. I delved into why June is celebrated the Pride Month to JLo's daughter being introduced with a non-binary pronoun!
I have mentioned a lot of terms on this episode, and below are some of other terms that would be better off read as I would have sounded like just reading these anyway!
The + in LGBTQIA+ The plus sign at the end of LGBTQIA+ can include members of other communities, including allies — people who support and rally the LGBTQIA+ cause even though they don’t identify within the community itself. Other identities included in the LGBTQIA+ are:
- agender - refers to those who do not identify as any gender at all
- demisexual - describes someone who requires an emotional bond to form a sexual attraction
- genderfluid - describes one's gender identity as self-expression and not static
- graysexual - refers to the “gray area” between asexuality and sexuality
- non-binary/genderqueer - a term used for those who do not conform to binary gender identities
- pansexual/omnisexual - a term for individuals with desire for all genders and sexes
- polyamorous - a term for those open to multiple consensual romantic or sexual relationships at one time
- sapiosexual - describes a person who is attracted to intelligence, regardless of a person’s gender identity
- two-spirit - a term used by Native Americans to describe a third gender (sometimes included as 2S in the main acronym as LGBTQIA2S+)
OTHER TERMS
- ace - short for asexual
- bi - short for bisexual or bicurious
- cis - shortened version of cisgender (a person who identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth)
- closeted - state of being totally private about one's sexual orientation or gender identity
- coming out - the act of sharing one's sexual orientation or gender identity with loved ones
- fluid - term that describes one's sexual identity or gender identity as not set or binary
- gray-a - short for graysexual
- pan - shortened version of pansexual
- per - gender-neutral pronoun for those who do not identify as male or female (short for person)
- poly - short for polyamory or polyamorous
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
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Hey Zestie, apologies, as this week's episode will be aired at a later day this week!
But wait, there's an inspirational quote here, so please take a quick listen! :)
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By watching the Depp-Heard Trial, I was able to learn more about other mental health disorders.
I'm sharing Dr. Curry's explanation (Expert witness in the trial) and my own research.
Resources: Thomas Lynch Styles of Coping & Reddit post
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hannel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
I recently read this book, and I'm pleasantly surprised on how much I liked it!
Listen to why I love this book, on this episode!
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Gleeful Talk Show proudly presents... an exclusive talk with Jona of Backpackingwithabook.com.
Jona is an accomplished author, writer, poet, essayist and speaker, who maintains a travel column on TV5’s Interaksyon.com, and writes for Rappler and Sun Star Cebu’s travel section. She has also won numerous awards, including First Prize 2013, Palanca Awards (Cebuano Short Story Category) and 2013, Sinulog Writing Contest (Poetry and Personal Essay Category), and has spoken to prestigious platforms including TedxUSanCarlos Talk.
In this episode, we talk about what an empowered woman is for her, plus a lot of TMIs. We touched on topics about social injustices, race and gender pay gaps, to beauty pageants.
Follow Jona:
Website: Backpackingwithabook.com
Instagram: @backpackingwithabook and @homehums
We explore the counts won by Depp and Heard during their 6-week trial in Fairfax County, Virginia as well as the thought process of the jury in arriving their verdict.
What are some of the pieces of evidence and testimony shown in the trial that made the decide in favour of Johnny Depp?
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This has been going around the news for some time now. I have been equally fascinated, entertained and educated by the events in this trial.
This is a breakdown of the timeline up to the point where Johnny Depp sued Amber Heard.
What were the events leading up to this point?
What is a the trial about?
What does defamation in the court of law mean?
Was making this public worth it?
Why is the trial held in Fairfax County, Virginia?
All of these and more on this episode!
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Nita Kasan, Entrepreneur and Pruvit Ambassador, who has over 30 years of experience as a leader in the nursing industry, shares her insights on how to be a healthier you by introducing exogenous ketones in your diet.
Connect with Nita:
www.ketonita.com
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Continuing from where we left off at Episode 11, Glee shares some of the struggles that came after her mom's surgery, the pain of losing her, and how she coped with it.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
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Because it was recently Mother's Day last Sunday, I thought it would be great to look back on this episode, as this was fitting for the occasion.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
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Did you know that you can turn on or off a certain disease just based on your diet?
As a Registered Dietitian and Certified Functional Nutritionist for over 28 years, Annette Presley shares her expertise on nutrigenomics, the study of the effects of food and food constituents on gene expression, and how genetic variations affect the nutritional environment. She also shares the MOMMY Maker method, an acronym to help aid women with infertility issues.
Connect with Annette:
Facebook: The Mommy Maker
Instagram: @themommymaker
Linkedin: Annette Presley
Email: annette@getpregnantplan.com
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Hey Zesties!
I'm back. Sorry for being MIA for the last 4 months.
Life happened... or should I say death?
I'm still coping with the remnants of the last 4 months though.
Here's what happened in January.
* Trigger warning *
There was some form of anger and frustration when I was writing this, as I relive a few snippets of my memory during that time.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
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Hi Zesties!
I have been MIA the last few weeks because I'm at a very dark phase of my life. I had been there back in 2020 because of my Dad's health, and it's now coming back to bite me again, but this time, because of my Mom's health.
I have already recorded this episode few weeks back, but prior to release, I was confronted by a difficult news.
My mom has Stage 4 cancer. She just had her colostomy operation last week.
If you'd like to know more and would like to help, please visit this link:
gofundme.com/f/y4w83-help-us-save-our-mom-from-cancer
If you're from the Philippines, you can also donate through:
GCASH: 09563373883
BPI QR Code:
This episode is about a book I've read last December, entitled Midnight Library by Matt Haig.
This spoiler-free episode talks about overview of the book, my thoughts about it and life in general.
It's already been a year since I started this podcast, and I really wanted to celebrate it with you. But the celebration would need to be deferred for now as we fight this long battle. I hope you understand.
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Happy New Year Zesties!
It's a late upload this time, apologies, as I struggle with life's complications, unfortunately.
This is a solo episode where I share the new year traditions and/or superstitions around the world.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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A solo episode where I share how I spent my Christmas and New Year in different countries I lived and visited.
Cities mentioned:
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Cebu City, Philippines
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Dubai, UAE
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Vienna, Austria
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Budapest, Hungary
-
Tromso, Norway
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Rovaniemi, Lapland, Finland
-
Copenhagen, Denmark
-
Brisbane, Australia
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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If you are a nerdy, binge-watcher like me, Follow Nerdy Fans Podcast:
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Granting one of our Zesties' request, uur guest, Christian Abella from episode from Season 1 returns to provide us an update on the vaccine roll out in Germany. Glee also shared an update on her side in Australia.
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: http://descript.com/?lmref=vEytvA
I get to interview Kat, the author and content creator of TitaKitKat.com, who creates books, illustrations, and content about Filipino culture, language, mythology and history. Kat is a new mom, who kindly shared her journey to the Zesties.
We talked about:
-
Her background
-
When she thought was the right time for her to have kids
-
Her fears during her pregnancy and motherhood in general
-
How she managed working and raising a kid at the same time
-
Her advice on new moms and couples
-
Her plans of teaching her son about the Filipino heritage
-
and more!
Follow Kat on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tita.kitkat
Youtube: Tita KitKat
Website: www.titakitkat.com
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
Join the zesty community on:
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You could also check out my other podcast: www.nedyfanspodcast.com
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
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Edited with Descript. Try it through: descript.com?lmref=gleefultalkshow@gmail.com
In this episode, we went for a drive down memory lane, where we talked about the fun and not so fun times of our childhood and teenage years. Joining me on this episode is Luna from the podcast Late Nights by Luna Manila.
We talked about:
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Memorable moments of our younger years
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What were the things adults told us that weren't actually true (urban legends)
-
Our favourite music/games
-
Being bullied as kids
-
What were the things we wished we knew when we were kids
-
and a whole lot more!
Subscribe to Late Nights by Luna Manila wherever you get your podcasts!
Follow Luna on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/luna___manila
Youtube: Luna Manila
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM
In Episode 1, Dee and I touched on traits that is common to Filipinos such as resilience and flexibility. It can be a good and a bad thing, unfortunately. So in this episode, Dee shares some of her tips on navigating the workplace whenever we doubt ourselves and discount our tremendous efforts.
Subscribe to Banana Q Podcast wherever you get your podcast.
Follow Banana Q on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/bananaqpodcast
Facebook: www.facebook.com/bananaqpodcast
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM
Edwin Frondozo, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, award-winning podcaster of The Business Leaders Podcast, keynote speaker and co-founder of many start-up projects, shares how he overcame his fear and pivoting through life challenges, through his 100 day epics, a framework to stay focused on aligned to mission, vision and purpose. He shared how he got the courage to publicly declare and audacious goal to 100x his business in 100 days during the pandemic, and how this 100x'd his mindset.
Follow Edwin:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/edwin100x
Twitter: www.twitter.com/edwinfrondozo
Discord: https://discord.me/cafe100x
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
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This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Welcome to Season 3!
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
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Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two!
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
Follow and subscribe to Banana Q Podcast wherever you get your podcasts!
Find them on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/bananaqpodcast
Facebook: www.facebook.com/bananaqpodcast
Join the zesty community on:
Instagram: instagram.com/gleefultalkshow
Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two!
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Hey Zestie! Welcome to Season 3!
This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM.
For our pilot episode, I invited Dee of Banana Q Podcast, to talk about the common Filipino stereotypes, it's upsides and downsides.
We talked about:
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Unsurprisingly, as Filipinos, FOOD! :)
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The Filipino warmth, and how that translates to other nationalities.
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Common misconceptions about Filipinos' profession when they are abroad
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How the traditional Filipino mindset is about family and money matters
-
Racial sensitivity or insensitivity of Filipinos
-
Racism, and more!
Follow and subscribe to Banana Q, wherever you get your podcasts!
Find them on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/bananaqpodcast
Facebook: www.facebook.com/bananaqpodcast
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD
Join the zesty community on:
Instagram: instagram.com/gleefultalkshow
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We get to talk to ex-BBC broadcaster, cancer survivor and author, CJ Grace, on how she came up with the six-part plan of surviving a divorce. She shared her personal story on how she learned of her (ex) husband's infidelity, how she dealt with it, including dealing with the mistress, and how she gained peace of it all.
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Transcript:
if you ain't getting fed at home, you're going to go for a t The best revenge is to get past the need for it.
Hey Zesties. Welcome to the Gleeful Talk Showwhere we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero. Within in this episode, we are, we're going to talk about surviving the aftermath of infidelities, such as how to stop feeling like hell forgiveness and moving on.
We are joined ex-BBC broadcaster, cancer, survivor and author of adulterers wife. How to thrive whether you stay or not. Please welcome CJ grace. Hi, CJ. Welcome to the show.
Hi glee. Thank you so much for inviting me today. Thank you for being in the show. And you've written this book. Adulterers wife, how to thrive, whether to stay or not.
So, how did this book came about? So could you tell us a background of your, story? Well, you know, in some ways I was living a charmed life. I had a great job with the BBC meeting celebrities and politicians, and I felt like I had my finger on the pulse of current affairs.
Then I got a transfer to work for China radio international in Beijing, which was really an exciting assignment to get. I was a journalist advisor there. And in Beijing, I met an American guy and we had a fairytale falling in love. And if you fast forward, 25 years later, best wedding anniversary ever, we spent it in Hawaii.
I thought that we were closer than ever before. And little did I know that just two years later, both my marriage and my health would be in tatters because he was carrying on an affair with a woman that was half his age, whom he refused to give him. And I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time I carried that BLCA gene, similar to what Angelina Jolie has and soar is a death sentence if she didn't deal with it.
So it was a terrifying, double whammy that hit me at that point. And one of the ways I got through it was by, I didn't want to be a victim. I wanted to keep my sense of humor because I was brought up on one too hyphen, but I also did a lot of writing. And the book came out of that. The first book, adulterous wife, how to thrive with you, stay or not.
And I also am completing a second book based on my cancer and infidelity experiences called Hotel Chemo: My Wild Ride Through Breast Cancer and Infidelity. So the adulterous wife book did come out of personal experience, but I interviewed a lot of women some men too because there are so many.
Things that you just don't hear about and what I hated about how people dealt with adultery and, and all the sites you see on, the web. So much of it was vitriol, it was people blaming and getting angry and all these revenge strategies. And that just wasn't for me, I knew in my heart that the best revenge would be to get past the need for it.
Whether I stayed with my husband or I moved on revenge was just not the way I wanted to go. And that was the main theme of the book that the best revenge is to get past the need for it. And ways to just get off that horrible, emotional roller coaster that infidelity throws you in. It was such a roller coaster indeed, with a health issue and then the infidelity.
So just flashback on when you discovered the infidelity. So what narratives that pop into your mind when you found out? And of course this will not be an overnight overcoming of the situation. So how did you go through about it Yeah. I mean, I found out about it initially from a text on, my husband's phone.
I was transferring data from one, older phone to a new phone when a text came in. Oh dear. And the, the whole point was that my ex. He's now my ex cause we've got divorced. He was not willing to give this woman up. He just was not willing. And in fact, once I found out he actually offered me a part time wife position, if you can imagine, you know, I'd be, he said to me, well, you know, I'd be perfectly happy to spending two or three days a week with her.
So the week with you, and I'm perfectly capable of loving two women at once. And to be amazingly, I actually can. I did that proposal for a few months and the original subtitle of my book was not adulterous wife, how to thrive, whether you stay or not. It was adulterous wife, how to thrive if you choose to stay, stay.
Because there are a lot of women who do stay with people who have been unfaithful. But it's much more likely to be successful in those cases, if the husband or the wife, if the wife has been unfaithful is willing to give up the girlfriend or the philandering or whatever it is. It's a very difficult road.
If you stay with somebody who is going to continue. Philandering or continue having a relationship with somebody else because if that's not what you've agreed to at the beginning, if you haven't agreed to an open relationship right from the start it's not an open relationship. It's being forced on you.
It's not consensual and it will not make you happy. But I, I actually thought about how to navigate around. For a few months, because you know, you don't want your relationship to collapse. You don't want your whole life, your home, you know, your, everything that you've believed is, stable to just fall apart.
So I did even think about it, but once I got the cancer, it was so. Glaring, the obvious that a part-time husband would not do it was just no good at all. I did not want to be treated like a doormat or anything like that. I needed to forgive him, I needed to forgive him and the girlfriend and I needed to try it.
Maintain a neutral relationship with both of them. But I certainly, wasn't going to be able to have this part-time marriage position that just wasn't wasn't going to work. Not at all. Yes, exactly. the thing is in effect it was going to be. well, she could provide the passion and I could get the taxes done.
Yeah. I don't think so. No, no, no, no, no. As what you've mentioned. You didn't sign up for it in the first instance. But it's good that you were able to overcome it after, several months, because it would be difficult to come out of this problem. If you stayed, I feel. Yeah. and, you have to, we work on various techniques to get out of that emotional hole. And I, did come up with a six part plan of how to do it. It wasn't that I just had an idea, oh yes, I need a six point plan and I'll be fine. It just evolved. There were six things that I did not necessarily in, a particular order that were key to getting over this setback and also getting over the emotional roller coaster that getting cancer put me into.
So the, the first thing I did was to find confidants and mentors who had my best interests at heart, and these were people I could vent to.
I could sort of process the emotions with some people might. Paying a counselor to, to go through this stuff. I didn't have to do that because I had friends who were actually good at counseling and they were giving me good advice. They had my best interests at heart. They really cared about what happened to me.
And those were people I could call up and go on and on and on and on. And they. go nuts and draw away from me. These were people who were really very good friends and very good confidants and I've found it very useful having men as well as women. as confidants because you get a very different impression talking to a guy about something like infidelity than you do from a, woman.
And this also ties in with my second thing that I did, which was to rebuild my community of friends. I wanted to get back to connecting with my old friends and make new ones because one big problem. And I think it's true of a lot of women is that you lose a lot of the friends you have prior to marriage.
And most of the people in my social circle. When I was married were either friends of my husbands or they were connected with a joint business that we'd built up. And of course, if you're having marital problems that last and you're going to do, if you're trying to stay professional is vent to the people you're working with.
That just doesn't work. So I couldn't really confide in any of those people. And then the third thing, which was really important too, especially with my Monte Python. Loving background was laughter therapy. I needed to do things that made me laugh. I didn't want to watch any depressing dramas. I watched a lot of comedies and you know, even being a BBC news journalist, I gave up watching the news because it's so depressing.
When you think about it, all the news is bad news. I didn't need that. I needed. That brought me up that made me laugh rather than made me feel depressed. I did not want to feel depressed. The full thing that I did, which is really important too, sort of loving my body and trying to become more beautiful in myself.
Not that I was going to ever become a supermodel or anything like that, but, you know, diet, exercise, sleep, making sure that those things were. Taken care of cause it's really easy to sort of let yourself go and really not, look after yourself. Well, when you're going through a rough patch and one of the big things that I found made a, difference to my mood was outdoor exercise.
And if there was one thing, I would recommend anybody going through any kind of adversity, feeling down, feeling depressed. If you can go outside in nature for 15 minutes a day. It is huge. It makes a huge difference to your mood. Nice. If you can do it with a friend, but just being in nature outside, moving your body makes a big difference.
As far as banishing the blues. And I found that that was a key part of feeling better. Despite these. Obstacles of the cancer and infidelity. And then the fifth thing was to try to find my passion and become more of a hedonist because I found that I had made very little time at all to do things I enjoyed.
I was very much nose to the grindstone in my marriage. Taking care of the business. I'd raise the kids ministering to my husband and I just didn't make time for anything I enjoyed. And I had to go back to think about what I loved, what really made my heart sing for me. It was writing.
Writing was one of those things and even meeting kindred spirits and all kinds of stuff. For some people, it might be playing a musical instrument for others. It might be. Volunteering for a cause that they really believe in those kinds of things are really good. And if you are doing things you enjoy that involve other people, then you're also increasing your circle of friends and you're making your own friends again, people who hopefully are kindred spirits.
So it's a really good thing to do that too. And then the final thing I did, number six on my list which actually was the most difficult. Was to try to become more mindful, more fully engaged in what was right there in front of my nose, because it's so easy to start, churning the past. If only I had done that, if I had made a different decision, then it might've been different.
and maybe this happened because of this thing that I did. And, if only he hadn't done that all of that. In the past it's gone. And then you start worrying about the future, how is it going to turn out? Where am I going to live? What are we going to do? How am I going to feel I'm going to, you know, and that doesn't help either because the future doesn't exist either.
It's just in your imagination. All you have is the now. And so the best thing to do is to try to work at becoming fully engaged in what's right in front of your nose, because you can have. Beautiful things happening in front of you, wonderful sunset or lovely people. And if you're in a crappy mood, worrying about what's happened in the past, you're not going to notice it it's as if it doesn't exist.
So it's so important to do that. you've mentioned very good points and actually I am quite curious what comedy show you, watch during that time? Well obviously Monte Python. And there's a I'd like sci-fi and there was a British sci-fi comedy show called Red Dwarf. I don't know if you ever got that in Australia.
I liked it because it's so incompetent. One of the main guys is sort of a, a lazy. So not particularly confident guy. And the other one is, incompetent, but also extremely arrogant. There's the two main characters in that show. And I loved it because it was just quite cleverly written and really you know, making fun of, pretty much everything.
So, so those were two things I liked. I also really liked I think it was a New Zealand production it's a mockumentary, What We Do In The Shadows. it's a fake documentary about vampires living together in a house in New Zealand and how they interesting how they manage.
But it's very, very funny. And, and I, enjoyed that. So, so there were a number of different things that, I like. I liked and that I listened to. I remember one of the things that I turned down was going to see a movie called Wild with Reese Witherspoon. And that's about her overcoming depression as she does a hike down the Pacific coast trail in America.
And it's supposedly a fantastic film, but it's about somebody dealing with depression, not what I needed. Absolutely not. and I do you like the British humor more than anything else. So I was sort of going back to some of my old favorites. Some of them are only available on sort of old YouTube clips actually, but, those were the things I really liked.
And I found sci-fi too, because if it's especially tongue in cheek, sci-fi films, like guardians of the galaxy that made me laugh The only thing I didn't like about that first film was the scene where the main character's mother is dying of cancer in the hospital. And there she was chemo, bald just as I was chemo, bald, and I could have done without that scene.
But apart from that, I really enjoyed the movie. And so when you. were recovering from all of this, you were based in Hawaii at that point in time in California. I was because I sort of bounced between California and Hawaii. So I'm I still spend time in both states.
But currently. As we're recording this, I'm in Hawaii, which is certainly a nice place to be. I can't complain because I was just thinking whether, what would be your advice in this day and age that, when people are depressed and people are remotely away from families and friends, then how would they be able to cope in, case they have.
Similar kind of situation. Yeah. Well, in the age of COVID and lockdowns absolutely. And the six part plan that I mentioned does work well for that. But it is also very important to connect. So even though. A zoom conversation is nowhere near as good as, as seeing something in the flesh and being able to hug them and really interact.
it's a pale reflection of really seeing somebody face to face, but it is. At least better than nothing. And it is an interaction that's live. That's why, for example, I I've just recently got involved in clubhouse. I have a clubhouse club overcoming infidelity. And for me, I found that it was eye opening and it was a lovely experience to meet new people and have real live conversations with them.
So I think there are things that you can do that. Expand your social circle. Even if you can't go out of your house and see people face to face. And I do believe clubhouse is a good thing to try and now it's it was invite only when it started, but it's no longer invite only. So I would recommend that there's so many rooms going on.
You can start your own club. You can. Just focus on stuff you're interested in and you do end up finding kindred spirits, people who are interested in what you are interested in, and then you end up in conversations with them, which is lovely. it's a great idea. So I was impressed by it.
I'm not particularly keen on social media generally, but clubhouse is a great way to communicate and to meet new people and to talk to I mean, you've always got the telephone and you've got zoom, but if you want to meet new people, that is one way to do it. And I think one of the things that has been so difficult for people with COVID is that you can spend the whole day when you're not even talking to anyone.
You're living on your own. In the old days you would have gone out and done this and done that and met this person and met that person and had dinner parties and all of those things, which are not available for some folks, depending on what the lockdown situations are in their location. But you can communicate.
Yeah. Through zoom, you can communicate through clubhouse, which as I said is a great way to meet new people. and the telephone for those people who really aren't happy about the internet. I think it's important to make sure you connect with maybe at least one person every year.
and just talk and just chat and talk about how you feel and also, you know, make sure you do the other things, eating well, exercising, going outdoors maintaining your circle of friendships and using the time maybe to follow a passion and create and be and feel artistic for some people.
It might be. Some kind of art project. Some people might want to write you know, everybody has had some thing that they've always wanted to do and they've never had the time to do it. Well, actually now is the time that you can do that. Doesn't mean that you're going to write a best-selling book and make a fortune, but you certainly can get your creative juices flowing and get things done.
So I think you just have to flip it and try and look for the upside in a really very dark. Kind of situation. you can't as they say in Britain, you can't put lipstick on a pig. It isn't a great situation to be going through COVID and there are a lot of varying views as to, what's going on.
What's good. What's bad. That's kind of. Irrelevant. You still have to find a way to make whatever life you have now, palatable and enjoyable. And so I would say yes, connect as much as you can through the internet, through the telephone to not feel that you're on your own. I think it's critical, absolutely critical to do that because otherwise you can get yourself in a deep dark hole and that's, definitely not the best way to, to get through the pandemic.
and just going back again on the cheating thing. So were there like subtle signs of cheating and why do you think people cheat? I think there are often signs, but generally we don't want to see them. I know. And it's such a common story that the cheated upon person is the last one to know about it.
Everybody else seems to know except except them. And I was probably in that situation too. And th there are so many reasons why infidelity happens. I think One of the most common right now is longevity because the longer people live, the more opportunity they have for infidelity and the new ed drugs that have a fairly recent invention mean that men can have You know, they can bonk until he kicked the bucket.
Basically they can keep going until they die. And that didn't used to be the case. So that increases the amount of possibilities for infidelity. And then you have another rather sad situation where celebate marriage is really common, especially in long-term relationships. And, you could say, well, if you ain't getting fed at home, you're going to go for a t akeout. Just to be semi crude about it. But, you know, in my case that, that wasn't the story. I think that my, my husband came up with a quote. He said, well, if you're not monogamous by nature, monogamy is a prison. Okay, well, that was his thing, but it wasn't what we agreed on at the beginning and it wasn't what I wanted.
And so there are people that are more monogamous than others and often it's the men that are more interested in straying than the women. I think that's the sort of environmental it's really the way that. Men and women are programmed, you know, biology, you can't in a way, get away from that.
But it doesn't mean that it's great to have to deal with it. And nobody really wants to deal with it. And in fact, there's so much hypocrisy around infidelity because often somebody can go around and be unfaithful. And then when their partners are unfaithful, they're absolutely furious. And that you don't want to put up with it.
So. it's a really strange kind of situation. And I think that there are many, many reasons why people do commit adultery or on, or they're unfaithful. Sometimes it's just a one-off thing. Something happens sometimes it's somebody just finally meets a soul. Well, and realizes that their husband or wife wasn't a soulmate.
And sometimes it's meaningless and sometimes it's not, sometimes it will affect the marriage and affect the person's views on, on their partner. And sometimes it doesn't generally speaking. If the cheating person is willing to give up the mistress and genuinely wants to stay in the relationship.
And if the other person. Wants to stay in the relationship and is genuinely able to forgive the person that's cheated, which is not an easy road, but it is doable. Sometimes you can find that the marriage is actually better than it was before. And I do know people that have, have weathered through it and they've actually done better.
And the marriage is of a great other people, they stay together, but if say the wife has been cheated upon. Can't rebuild trust and just, can't really forgive that person. That's cheated. They're always looking over their shoulder. They don't want the person who's cheated to ever be out of their sight or do anything on their own.
Then you can end up with a purgatory situation rather than a real marriage. So I think there's so many ways that this thing can play out and there's no one size fits all answer to why infidelity happens and how you. Deal with it. But after the emotional upheaval has dissipated a bit and you're more on an even keel.
Usually at least this is the way I felt, you know, in your gut, whether you really want to continue it or not, whether this person is somebody you really want to spend the rest of your life with it or not. Because sometimes an affair is as much a symptom as a cause of a breakup of a relationship.
Sometimes it's saying that this is not really the best relationship for either of you, because if it were, maybe he, or she would not have gone off with somebody else, so, I have some personal experience and that was not in my marriage, but just a, you know, like a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship, in the end, like I was happy that it kind of ended, you know, like, as you mentioned that you, you will realize or sometimes even that you realized, but you just wait for something to slip up like your, your gut was really right.
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Right. And do you know the irony? Yeah, it is. I'm actually grateful to my ex-husband and his girlfriend for doing whatever they did, because I'm so much happier on my own than I was in the marriage. And I feel so much more complete. As a person. And that was the whole point of that six part plan, because the aim was to become a more complete creative, joyful human being.
And that's exactly what happened. It doesn't happen overnight, but it's, that is what happened. And I hear that from a lot of other people, you know, that actually it was horrible to go through it. I would hate to go through it again, but I'm really glad it happened because I'm, I'm in a, so much better place than I was then and I'm not talking about when I found out about the infidelity I'm talking about actually during the marriage, you know, I'm happier than I was.
And I, and you see a lot of flaws that were in a marriage or a relationship, but you only see them once you're out of it from the outside. I didn't really see them when I was in the relationship. Yes. So when you mentioned about about staying, so do you think that if you stay in a relationship that's already forgiveness, so does forgiveness always mean that it's a second chance?
Forgiveness is really important because otherwise you're going to get stuck in a revenge blame cycle. And I think whether you stay or not, forgiveness is important because revenge eats into you and it prevents you moving on. it just doesn't serve you.
it's like sort of hitting yourself. You think you're hitting somebody else on the head with a mallet. You're hitting yourself on the head with a mallet when you're putting all your effort into revenge strategies, however bad that person has been, it's sort of better to just put all that life energy into moving on.
Even, you know, moving on within that relationship, as well as moving on outside the relationship, if you do choose to leave obviously if somebody has been pretty bad and unpleasant and abusive in particular, then you absolutely would want to try to get out of that relationship. And I have to say glee in the research I did, I felt so Thankful that I had the husband I had, because some of the stories I heard from other women and what they had been through my story was a walk in the park compared to some of what I'd heard really, and truly, I mean, tragic, horrible stories of how. People have been treated by generally, I was talking to cheated upon women whose husbands were the ones that were unfaithful.
But that's another reason to be grateful because your circumstances could always be so much worse. And that really, I just took that lesson home from talking to a lot of others. And it was a blessing in disguise and, sometimes when you talk to other people and know their circumstances, you're in, you feel that your story wasn't that as bad as others.
So you feel a bit.
Oh my God. I mean, I don't know if you really want to hear some of the horror, horror stories that I heard, but if you would like to share then you know, one of the absolute worst, I think was a woman I spoke to whose husband was he betrayed her by molesting their own daughter. And knowing that not only that for a long while he managed, he was denying it and he got the wife committed to a mental institution and it took her some time to get out and to sort of free herself from the whole situation.
I had a hard time. Thinking of anything worse. I mean, I'm sure somebody has got an even worse story than that, but that was so horrific. And again, it made me really grateful that I only went through what I went through. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I couldn't even imagine that some, someone could do that to the daughter and like the wife putting in a mental institution, it's like maybe the husband should be put in the mental institution.
Absolutely. Absolutely. But I think, you know, maybe how to a position of power or wherever he was, and that was horrifying. so I'm curious as well that, when people discover the infidelity, what is your advice on how to deal with the other woman? Because most of the time, the other woman is much more like stronger and feeling more having ownership of the husband or something for some reason, Well, I don't know, again, it's a gray area and I have a section in my adulterous wife, how to thrive, whether you stay or not to have a section called The mistress villain or victim, and often she's neither, but you never know what story she's been told by your husband? I think one of the most outrageous stories I heard from somebody was that they got a call. From some woman that they've never heard of. And the woman said, oh, you sound awfully healthy.
And it's so turned out that this woman was her husband's mistress or had had an affair with the, with the husband. And the husband had told this woman that his wife had terminal cancer was bedridden and she had been a terrible evil alcoholic. And yeah. The goodness of his heart, he was still taking care of her and he desperately needed the TLC from this woman to take care of it.
So I mean, there you go. Yeah. That's an interesting story from a husband to to a mistress. So you just don't know. And the, the bottom line is the mistress did not get into that marriage vow with you. The husband did. And Often it's easy for people to just put all the blame on the, mistress, this hapless husband, you know, he was dragged out of the, completely against his will dragged out of the marriage by this evil hoppy of a woman, taking him away from, from the wife and everything is her fault.
Not necessarily. I mean, it takes two to have an affair. and you just never know what the dynamic is. And yes, there are common stories where sometimes the mistress does want the marriage to break up because she feels that if that happens, then she's got the shot at having the man to her.
And that's why often it's the mistress who goes to the wife and tells her that her husband is having an affair. And there was a very strong ulterior motive there going on clearly. so yeah, my view was I wanted to try to cultivate a neutral attitude as much as possible to the mistress particularly.
If it's a circumstance where, where the, the husband is likely to be leaving and, and living with her and whatever it is, however long or short that relationship might be with the woman that was the mistress. it's the same reason why I always wanted to be able to have a fairly neutral cordial ish relationship with my, husband, my ex, because I didn't want to be in a circumstance where I couldn't even talk to him on the phone.
You know so many of these expensive acrimonious divorces happen because the two partners are not even willing to talk to each other on the phone about basic stuff and they have to go through their lawyers. I'm sure the lawyers love that they make tons of money on that, on those kinds of things. There's often animosity between say the wife and the mistress. I don't think that my husband's girlfriend fiance now is particularly keen on me, but if we need to talk, we can talk. And you know, that's just the way it is, but we don't particular, it's not like we're bosom buddies, but I just think that for the same reason I don't like the idea of having a vengeful blaming attitude towards your partner.
I think it's the same story with the mistress. And often for instance, if somebody wants to stay with their partner, who's cheated, they. Wanting to put all the blame on the mistress, because then they can get their head around staying with the with the husband. If it's the husband that's been cheating because oh, no, it wasn't really his fault.
It was all her fault. Yeah. Rationalizing that your actions of staying and then putting the blame on the mistress. Yeah, and I do caution against, the angry wife going to call out the mistress and behaving in a very emotional way towards her. Because once you've done that, you can't take it back.
once you end up running yourself on your emotions, once you do these things and having sort of weird behavior of, because you're feeling so crap about the whole situation you can't take it back. And my view was whatever I wanted to do, whatever. Decision. I needed to make whatever behavior I felt like, whatever action I felt I wanted to take I didn't want to make snap decisions based on my emotions.
what I had to do was actually stop, breathe. And think is this going to serve my own long-term best interests, whatever I did, is this going to serve my own long-term best interests. That's really important because it's so easy to run off on your own emotions. Make a complete ass of yourself and then, the mistress can say, oh, I really understood why you left her.
She's crazy harpy. You know, why would you want to be with her? You know, because anybody in that mood, when they first found out is going to maybe feel inside a bit like a crazy harpy doesn't mean they are a crazy harpy, but you really want to try to take the high ground. And you will thank yourself in the future for doing it.
vengeful angry behavior, screaming and shouting type of behavior. Never makes you feel good. in the long run never makes you feel good. Doesn't make you feel good about yourself. So it's the best thing to do is to try to. Keep your emotions under wraps, especially when you're dealing with the mistress with with the other woman.
And I think it is, in some cases people don't have anything to do with them at all, which is fine. But in, in other cases, it's necessary because If the marriage breaks up, then your former wife or husband will, may well be having a, a long-term relationship with that person. And you have to navigate around that.
So I would take the high ground. That's what I would always try to do. very good advice. And even though it's very hard, when you you're in that situation, but it's, it's very insightful. And, what advice could you give your past self if there is during that time.
I think I've dealt with it more or less. Okay. I I think I could have tried to dissipate those emotions a little bit more quickly. it took me a while to. get my head around this six part plan. It didn't come out overnight. And maybe if somebody had presented me with it at the beginning if somebody else had written my book and given it to me, maybe I would have actually got through it faster.
I'm sure I would've got through it faster because it took some time. It took time to work out. These. Ways to navigate through a difficult situation. I was lucky I had some good friends and good mentors that I could lean on during this period. But certainly yeah, I had to work it out for myself and it's always good.
If you can have a leg up and, learn from somebody else's experiences. Yes, but I believe as well that it was a process and since it was a process and it's learned through experience, I think it's much more impactful. And that's why you're able to impart these learnings to your readers of the book. That's right. And I do have a free PDF that I put together called overcoming infidelity tools to team the roller coaster of negative emotions. And that contains some of the exercises that I did to dissipate those negative emotions. And I also have in there a wonderful exercise. On mindfulness using chocolate.
Cause I am a chocoholic. I have to admit that. And it's an exercise I've found. I'd love to say I invented it, but I found it's used No school children in Britain use it. So if kids can use it I'm sure we can to, to become more mindful, to become more focused on the present moment, they use that in schools.
And so I included it in that PDF. And I also put together a little video, a short nine minute video on how to do it. So you can follow along with a wrapped piece of chocolate, if you like. And that's all available on a page on my website, and you can access that page by going to CJAuthor.com. CJAuthor.com.
that Was useful stuff going through that type of practice, different practices to learn how to become more mindful to get off that rollercoaster really important. Cause you do. Land on it when infidelity happens. no way of avoiding it. It's always going to hit you in the gut and create a whole load of emotions that you would rather not be going through.
Awesome. Thank you so much for. For all your insights and sharing your experiences. I'm sure our Zesties would really benefit from it. And before we wrap things up, CJ, I have some few fun questions for you. Are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. Yes. All right. So if you could have a billboard with anything on it, what would it be and why?
Eat chocolate now it'll make you happy.
That just came out of my head, you know, but eat it mindfully, use my exercise and enjoy it. Yes, you might. You might do my exercise and eating chocolate will never be the same again. It'll be a whole new.
Three songs on my playlist. I love Phil Collins. That's all is a good one, because it's a sort of, screw that I'm just going to move on.
That's all, you know I think it's called that's all, but it's one of my favorites. And I also like Melody Gardot I'm trying to remember which track I like the best from her. Your Heart is as Black as Night whenever I hear that, it actually reminds me of my boyfriend in London actually, who sadly we've because of COVID we've been separated, but so be it, but it's a wonderful song, Melody Gardot Your Heart is as Black as Night. I think that's the title. But I know it's the first line of the song, and then you want something else.
Let's see a third song. Oh, you know, there's another one that it's going to be a very weird one that nobody else will have chosen. They may have chosen the actual, the song itself, but not the way it's played. It's Fragile by Sting, which I think is a beautiful, beautiful song. But there is a ukulele player who has done an amazing version of it.
And his name is Jake Shimabukuro from Hawaii. if you're an older person from England, you might think of George Formby when you think of the ukulele, which is not great, very nasal singer and, and, and sort of, tinkly not tinny sound from the ukulele, but Jake Shimabukuro is in fact, the Eric Clapton Of the ukulele.
So CJ, where can our Zesties find you?
Yes. Well, I have a website first of all you know, I go into more detail about that six part program in that comedy self-help book, Adulterer's Wife: How to Thrive Whether to Stay or Not. And that mini ebook that I mentioned overcoming infidelity. Tools to tame the roller coaster of negative emotions that is available.
If you go to my website, my website is actually called AdulterersWife.com and I hate to say it the, but it is a terrible, terrible name for a website because nobody can spell it. And what's even worse is there is a believe a porn site that's spelled similarly to it. So my solution to that was to get a different URL, to go straight to the page where I have my.
Free PDF the tools to attain the rollercoaster of negative emotions. And that is CJAuthor.com. Much easier to remember. I also have an Instagram account and that is @CJGraceAuthor is my Instagram. And I am on clubhouse CJ, grace for clubhouse, and I have an overcoming infidelity club on clubhouse that you can also join.
So you know, one thing that I would want to say to people is that, you know, There is hope after dealing with adversity like infidelity and breast cancer. And in some ways I'm living proof of that. So if anybody listening to this is feeling lousy right now, you really don't have to put up with it. Just imagine how much better your life could be in six months time or a year.
And please do go to my website because I do have tools for you on the overcoming infidelity ebook, the free ebook, you can follow along doing that chocolate mindfulness exercise, and you can also get my book, adulterous wife, how to thrive, whether you stay or not. And those will go into much more detail about how to get off that horrible .
Horrible rollercoaster of negative emotions. So that's, that's it. So CJ author.com. And you can always Google CJ, grace, and you'll find all the various articles I've written for places like thrive global and HuffPost and.
Places like that.
Thank you so much CJ for your time and sharing your insights on how to thrive in dealing with infidelity.
Thank you.
Hey Zesties.
What do you think of this episode? I'd be very happy to hear from you. You may send your feedback to gleeful talk show@gmail.com or rate on the podcasting platform of your choice, comment, or tag us on gleeful talk show, social media. See ya.
John Davis, the founder of The Corporate Action Hero, shares his series of inspiring journey from being an introverted kid, to being a fight and stunt director, his accident that got him temporarily paralysed, to being a professional comedy sword-fighting stuntman performing before the US military and to the mindset coach that he is today.
He also touched on the topic of spirituality and the different beliefs and religions - from Christianity, to Buddhism, Hinduism and more!
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Transcript:
And after being paralyzed, I was able to work my way back from that condition, regain mobility and go on to do over 4,000 live comedy sword fighting shows all over the world.
Hey Zesties.. Welcome to the Gleeful talk show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and heroes. In this episode, we will learn about how to hack our mind for success. Using the five F's of achievement, how humor can always be a good thing and becoming our own superhero.
Today's guest is a motivational speaker leader and mindset coach who has worked as a fight director and stunt coordinator for stage and film. His ability to engage teams was instrumental in the increased profitability of three regional parks by more than 60% under this his direction.
What's more interesting is that he was also a professional comedian who brought unique entertainments to the military on six USO tours to the front lines of both Iraq and Afghanistan. Please welcome the corporate action hero. John Davis. Hi John. Welcome to the show. Well, hello. I'm so excited. I am Gleeful to be here.
Thank you very much. Oh, no think. Oh, great. Yes. So I've read about you and then You all have performed live comedy sword, fighting stunts in Iraq and Afghanistan. So I'm very curious about how you went there basically. Well, when I was a young man, I wanted to be a stunt man and a fight director.
and I started doing Renaissance festivals and I put together a comedy sword fighting show called hack and slash. that early, early days of that process, I ended up having a serious back injury, which left me paralyzed. And after being paralyzed, I was able to work my way back from that condition, regain mobility and go on to do over 4,000 live comedy sword fighting shows all over the world.
And one day, while I was in Annapolis, Maryland, I was stepping off of the stage. And these two gentlemen walked up and said, Hey, we've been fans of yours for years. We were wondering if you would be interested in doing USO shows cause they were from the Pentagon and we were sick. Sure. We're very excited.
We were like, yeah, absolutely. So we, put all our marketing material together and we went over it and we dropped it off on their desk on September 10th, 2001,
the next day, September 11th. The day after we were in the Pentagon, the Pentagon got hit and the, and the two towers got hit and they shut down all their offices and they called us up a month later and they said, can you go immediately? And immediately we had to go get her shots and her paperwork and all that stuff.
So we left in November that year. And we went from November to February when all over Europe, as they're building up to go over to Iraq and Afghanistan on the second tour, they sent us back to Europe. But at that point, most of the soldiers were already out in Afghanistan. And by our third tour, we were already in Iraq.
and Afghanistan. And by our third, fourth, fifth, and six tours, we went all the way out to all of the small forward operating bases. We were a mile from the Syrian border in Iraq. We were Baghdad. We were everywhere in Iraq. Had some pretty harrowing experiences there, but Those soldiers were out there in the field and we showed up and made them laugh for two hours, which gave them a little stress relief. And, no matter what, no matter what, just think of the wars or why they were there. The U S military is a all volunteer military. And that means that they have volunteered to go anywhere in the world to defend me and my freedoms.
So it's the least I could do to go out there and at least make them laugh. And, we did a comedy store in fighting show, which was based in Renaissance themed. So we'd show up in Iraq, wearing tights
to visualize the visual. I'm not ready. when this, happened in 2001, and then you've mentioned previously, at first you weren't really into this, Presenting to people and doing these comedy shows. you have a bit of a story before this came into fruition. my father was a emotional abuser and an alcoholic. And, he had seven kids and I was the one that he chose to take the brunt of his anger out on. And that manifested into a very overweight 13 year old.
I was 265 pounds at 13 years old and became a complete introvert. And a friend of mine took me to go run. It's not festival that I suddenly got all this positive reinforcement because when he took me there, he didn't just take me there. He put me in a costume and in fact, he put me in a, full armor Viking costume.
So now I was a big fellow at that point. when he took me there, I was 17 or 18 and I was already six foot one, and I was a big, big guy with a beard. And. When they put me in full armor with horned helmet and giant battle axes and all day long people wanted their picture with me and people want to, and I had all this positive reinforcement.
And when I came away from there, I was like, God, I really, I really love that. I found in that Renaissance festival in acting in general. I found a place where I could set down my fears and my self doubts and be somebody else and literally found myself in that process. Of course, once you start getting Notice for something and start being recognized for being good at something your ego can get out of hand, which mine did for a little while.
And I brought that back. Thank God eventually. But eventually I found the passion for sword fighting. And when I met these two gentlemen at the Renaissance festival is Brad Waller and patient Bert. And they were so talented and they're two of the top fight directors in the country. And they saw talent in me as an actor and a combatant.
And they told me they, wanted to help me in my growth and they gave me their training for free, which I thought was amazing. And so I was, getting into the martial arts. I was going for my black belt in TaeKwonDo and I was, sword fighting. And I was, doing all the stage combat at the Renaissance festivals.
And then I had my, accident, which was, I, a buddy of mine asked me to come, help him unload his van. And he was a professional Potter. He had boxes of clay in his van there, 80 pounds a piece. And I went out to his house and I pick up the very first box. And when I picked up the first box and I turned to set it outside of the van, my spine broke in two and I collapsed and was paralyzed.
And at that point, they took me to the dock, to the hospital and the doctor told me, he said, we don't think you're ever going to walk again. But if you do, you'll never have a physical career. You'll never be able to heal. You have to think of a sedentary lifestyle now. And meanwhile, at this point, my goal in life was to be a stunt man, a fight director and a martial artist.
So. During that time a friend of mine came in and he handed me a book and the book was called The Dao of Jeet Kune Doby Bruce Lee, which if you really think about it could have been taken as a really cool we'll joke. But cause he, brought the martial artists who were just told he'd never do martial arts, again, a book by the greatest martial artists that ever live about martial arts.
But I found out later that Bruce wrote that book when he was in traction in the hospital had just been told he'd never do martial arts again. And when you read that book, that book is all about his philosophy of martial arts. It's not about, do this, do this and this style. It's about his, mental process through martial arts.
And so I found a couple things in there that were really fascinating. One of them was staying very present. Be in the present moment. Don't worry about the past or the future. Worry about being right here right now, making it the best. It can be. The second thing that I found in there was mental flexibility.
No matter what anybody said about your life, if you don't have to take their belief, you can take your own. And so I decided that I was not going to take the doctor's belief and I just started taking my moments and I started working my muscles from my neck down piece at a time. And eventually what happened was I got down to my hips and I actually flexed my hips and the doctors were blown away because it was below the injury.
But at, 30 days, I was able to sit up by the next month I was able to walk around and at a year I was back to what I would call a normal physicality, but not back to the strength that I was before. And in a year and six months, I was back to the strength that I was before. And I climbed up on top of a three-story tower and jumped off and I went on and did the 4,000 live comedy sort of fighting.
He's done shows, including those ones in the front line, after that. wow. What a, journey when you were there in the hospital and doing this, what kept you going for, for that point after like reading the book? What was that? Like main takeaway. I guess that, that book was, the thing that I held on to, because when you're in a situation like that, first of all, the doctors are going to tell you only what they see on x-rays.
And they're saying that. Well, we don't think you can because of this, this and this, right. And your family's telling you, well, don't get your hopes up because you may never walk again because they don't want you to get your hopes up. They don't want you to have the, to be depressed and be down, right?
So you have all these people around you telling you, you can't, you've got to take your own moment and make your own choices. You know Buddha says what you think you become, you create your world. Gandhi says you must be the change you want to see in the world. Christian said you were the culmination of your thought as the Bible says, as a man thinketh.
So is he and Jesus, Jesus said, whatever you ask in God's name is granted. And Moses said, God's name was, I am not what he thinks I am. Right. What I am, I have to make that declaration. So I had to make that declaration every time they would make account. So by holding onto that book and staying into the concept of staying very present in my moment, not theirs, because if I was putting myself in their moment, then I was not going to get out of that bed ever.
So I declared my moment and I kept my moment.
I just couldn't imagine how, you went through on that time. How were you able to develop over time that mental strength whilst being in that situation?
Yeah, that that's, that is a great question. And it kind of leads me into a little bit of my five F stuff because the biggest thing about your present moment is you can, succumb to your fears. Or you can start to create those. That's really the choices you have in your present moment. And your thoughts, words and deeds are only active in your present moment.
And since they're only active in your present moment, if you're acting out of fear, you're creating a negative moment. And so I had to actively stop my fears because my biggest fears in life at that point were to not be a stunt man, not be a fight director, not do that work. And eventually it went on to doing the comedy shows, which, you know, it's swords and all that stuff too.
But my biggest fear was that. So I started studying fear and what was fear. And I, now I travel all over the world and I ask audiences all over the world, give me the definition of fear. And their response is really interesting. What happens is the room goes silent. Because nobody can think of an answer until somebody says the, in the back of the room, you hear this little voice go false evidence appearing real, right?
Yeah. Because that's the standard metaphysical answer that people always say now. But when you break fear down, scientifically, you suddenly discover a couple of things. Number one, fear is not rooted in your present moment because fear is an emotional reaction to some future event that may or may not happen with you.
Focus on negative outcome. So fear is simply negatively focused on uncertainty. And so I had to get to the space where, well, if it's not rooted in my present and if it's not here and now, and all, it really is. I'm uncertain about a future and I'm focused on the negative outcome. That's really dumb because why, why would I focus on the negative when I can focus on the positive?
What I had to do is I started to start labeling my fear. And starts setting it aside. my studies after the accident were actually more profound because going to Iraq and Afghanistan, I had to set my fears aside and the way I ended up doing that was when I did my studies, I started seeing that we all have a natural primal fight or flight response and that fight or flight response manifests itself in our natural primal fear response.
And that fear response happens whenever we have a fearful response, we go, we guess, for air it's the first thing we do. if you ever watch National geographic shows are those safari shows on TV. You know, there's always that doomed gazelle, right? There's always one gazelle. That's out there in the field and he, his grass looks like this. Right. And then suddenly, the lion hits the field. The first thing the gazelle dobecause they'll do is do this literally gasped for air, right. And if you're a parent and you have children, I can guarantee you, you have probably seen your child almost get hurt and gone yourself.
You've had that same exact primal response. Most people when they're in fear, don't think they can catch a breath. I don't think they can. And the reason they feel that way is not because they can't get air it's because their body is full of air and they can't put more in. Okay. So their body is conserving.
It's conserving air because our primal response says you have to have a lot of air to run further and faster. Actors on Broadway are literally trained that when they walk on stage and forget their lines, they're literally trained to exhale, relax all their muscles and all of their lines rush right back into their head because they've turned off the fear response in turn their cognitive thinking brain back on.
Because when you go into a fear response, you go into survival mode and it's nothing else is important, right? So that's why it works. Now, when I was on the front lines of Iraq and I talked to soldiers, I say, how can you go into the situation when you make it shot at or blown up now, how can you do it?
And the first thing they said to me was, well, we all get together and we, we talk about it, go, okay, all right, we're going to do this. And they actively exhale. And then they just get really profoundly solid and going towards it. Next thing they said was, it makes it easy though, because we have an objective so they can get positively focused.
Right. Or they can get fearlessly focused. Now I get two of my five F's in they're already fearlessly focused. Right. So I said, I said earlier that fear is an emotional reaction. It was just negatively focused on certainty. Right. So what these guys do is they exhale, rush, shut off the fear response and get positively focused.
That's how they get their job done. Right. So here I was in the hospital, but that was the same thing I had to do. I had to let go of my fears and to get positively focused. so that's, that's the way I had to do it. So I had fearlessly focused. the biggest struggle of it all was the third of the five apps, which is faith.
And faith is just belief. Confidence. You have to believe you're going to do it because if you don't believe you're going to do it, then you're, you're actually succumbing to your fears. You're actually telling yourself I can't do it. Oh my God. I'm afraid I can't is what they're really thinking. You have to believe it.
Now sometimes belief or confidence is, is really just trust. Trust that you can and trust is developed by results over time. And so to develop results over time, you have to follow through on your actions. You have to make those choices and then take actions. So you have to fearlessly focused with faith and follow.
Right. Right. So now we're free to see what we can say and follow through. Here's he's got four of the five F's in there. Now let's talk about follow-through for second follow through. You only have one present moment. This is what I discovered in that bed. You only have one present moment. The passage, just a collection of present moment memories that have a subconscious belief underlying them.
And the future is just a place where you set goals for your next present moment. And the only way that, that, big goal that you have out there ever gets experienced is by stacking small, successful, present moments that are in alignment with that goal, because here's the big secret that most people in the problem that most people have is they look at that goal and they say, I have to get to that.
I have to get to that. I have to get to that. Well, that's not the way the brain works. The brain only is active in the present moment. You can only do thought word and deed. And so what's actually happening is when you start stacking these present moments in alignment, that big goal is coming to you. And when you finally experience that big goal, that's going to be in your present moment.
It's not going to be in the future, you have to stay very much here in stacks, small things. So lying in the hospital bed day one, I started with flexing my neck and my injury was that my was that my pelvis. next day, I worked my shoulders and my upper arms. And I slowly worked my way down my back until I got to that injury point.
And then I went to my hips and I was able to do my hips backing the small present moments. I was able to bypass all of those other issues. And that thing came to me. And I, worked in Hollywood, I've worked with movie stars and the really cool thing is after the fact is that after learning all these things and I'll bring it to the last of the five F's.
After learning all these things. I realized I can do anything in my life. And I did 4,000 comedies sort of fighting certain shows. I worked in Hollywood. I works big movie stars. I was a college professor. I was an artistic director of theme parks right now. I'm a keynote speaker that walked all over the world, speaking and teaching.
I climb Mount Sinai. I climb Machu Picchu. I swim in the blue lagoons of Iceland. I've been to 30 countries. I've done everything I've ever wanted to do ever since strictly because I knew I know how to do it. Now. I know how to stay very present and stay very positive and then just stack my moments. So I get what I want and that's it.
It's really much simpler than people make it. And I think it's so simple that people make it hard because it really can't be that simple can it?
for example, if a negative person saying to you this time, I can't fathom, this, this idea and what would be a one sentence that you can tell that person? Well, first I had said the world is the world is 99% positive.
And the way I would prove that is this. I live a half an hour from Cleveland, Ohio, the states, if I had a job in Cleveland and I commuted to Cleveland every day, I would probably pass a thousand cars on the road every day, possibly, probably not every day, but possibly every day I may see the remnants of car accident right tonight on the news is going to be the anomaly.
That happened today, which is the accident, because what should be the headline of the news 999 cars made it safely to their destination without a problem. Right? And the really negative people are, are, are only negative because they're focused on the negative, right? That's one of the issues that we have in the world, people get, get married to their news and the news makes money by being negative.
Right. You know, the more they get more viewers when they're more negative. And so, I stopped watching so much news. I just, you know, something big is gonna happen in the world. It's going to come to me is I'm going to find out, right. I'm not overly stressed about all the minutia, but the other thing is, is that negative people are always negative because of the fact that they're focused on the negative.
No, they look for the negative. Now here's the problem with this. They're creating a negative present moment, right? Which is stacking into their subconscious mind as a past memory of negativity, which is stacking more and more behind, which is creating an underlying subconscious belief of negativity.
Right? So now you have, subconscious belief that the world is a negative place, but here's the, here's the weird part. The subconscious mind has two jobs. The first job is to store memories of your present moments and then that subconscious belief. The other thing the subconscious mind does is show you what you're focused on.
And I'll give you an example. I'm a person. I love Jeeps. I've had six of them in my life. I have one in my garage right now. I love Jeeps. When I drive down the road, I see every Jeep on the road. I see everyone. Okay. It's in my conscious mind that I consciously loved so I see Jeeps. Negative people are focused on the negative.
So their subconscious mind shows them things to be negative about which stacks a negative moment in their subconscious belief, which creates a treadmill of negativity, The only way you break that cycle, is to consciously focus on a positive and making a positive, successful moment and start stacking.
If you look at it from a Christian perspective, they would say, be born again, basically set down the past right now. Here's an interesting thing. And this is going into Buddhism a little bit in Buddhism. The one of the the most famous Buddhist quotes is life is suffering.
But the, interesting thing is, the word that was translated into suffering was dukkha and dukkha in the language that it was translated from the language of Polly, Polly is what's known as a conceptual language and English is what's known as a literal language, right?
So when they say dukkha, it has a much broader meaning than English can translate. So in English translates dukkha, there's actually three translations underneath of the word dukkha, And when people go there and they say, well, what life is dukkha? And they go there and translation, one is pain or suffering translation.
Two is habitual response and translation. Number three is. Belief from past experience or subconscious belief. So dukkha means life is suffering because of our habitual response to our subconscious mind. So that's what I'm basically saying. If you're habitually responding negatively, you're going to habitually see negative, unless you consciously break the cycle.
You have to be the one to break that cycle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Thank you for that, John. Is it just because, you know, currently I'm also dealing with personal family problems like now, and you know, when it it's triggering every time, like, oh, okay, somebody is hospitalized. We need this money.
And I'm the only one, like, the eldest. And then one could help them. So it's like really feeding all these negative information. And just for me, is that, as you said, I just need to consciously not think about that somebody is hospitalised. Maybe I should think that they are still alive.
Right, right, right. It's most important that they think it right. because my brothers and sisters thinking I'm going to heal, it would not have helped me. It had to be me who did it. But, but however, if that person's in a hospital and you can be there and you can say, all right, we're going to get you through this and you can get them to believe it.
Then you're going to change. You're going to change their life. That's, that's really the key, then if you look at it, it's very interesting because. You know, Google, like I said, Buddhist is what you think you become. And Jesus, when he did healings, he said it is your faith that heals you.
Well, he didn't, he never said, it's your faith in me that heals you. It's your faith, your belief, your confidence. Right? So if that person who's in the hospital can get their faith and belief in their healing. There's no reason why they can't heal because I, should never have been able to jump off that tower because that's what they told them, but I couldn't take their belief cause I'm not going to live their life.
I'm going to live mine. Right. And that that's what the person in the hospital. But however, when people are coming at you and they're constantly throwing stuff at you and throwing stuff on you as Responsibility is on you and you have to carry the weight of that responsibility. There are times when you have to realize the people who are doing that are doing that because they themselves feel weak and they themselves feel like they can't achieve anything.
Or if you know what I mean? So what does that, that's them reading that that's them believing that and if they, if they could change their beliefs about now, here's the interesting thing is that when I changed my belief about money, this is going to sound very woo or metaphysical. But when I changed my belief about money, I made more money.
Like almost instantly I made more money, right. I just started saying, oh, I made money. And I started getting consciously focused on making money. And then what happened is my subconscious mind started showing me opportunity. It's kind of like manifesting kind of. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But you see, if you want to look at it from a, from a metaphysical standpoint, Einstein said, everything that you see in this world is made of atoms and atoms are purely an energy event.
There's nothing solid in them. Right? Noetic science, the new, the newest science in the market right now, Noetic science has just recently been able to measure thought waves. And when they measure the thought waves and those thoughts are focused at a very specific point in space, the waves stop at that point, they don't go past that point.
And that right now they're in the process of measuring what's happening. And at that point they could tell something's happened. They just don't know what it is yet. So something is being created at the point in space where they're focusing their thought. So your thoughts are creative. So this is not spirituality I'm talking is.
Science These are real science tests, right? They're actually showing this. So what's really happening right now is, the ancient texts and the spirituality and the Wu and all that is, now starting to be proven in some form. And it's a matter of getting out of the esoterica of it and into the science of it, in the corporate world, they talk about, you know, goal setting and achievement and all that stuff.
it's the same stuff. It's the same stuff. Right? You talk to any of, any of the top moneymakers in the country, the big CEOs, every one of them had vision boards. They had pictures of what their goals and all the things that are going to do achieve every one of them. They had some, some of them had it on their desktop as a screensaver, you know, cause they open their computer and there was all the things that they're creating into their experience.
But in their mind they weren't manifestations. They were just going. But they're opening that screen. And they were looking at that picture and their subconscious mind was drinking in and their belief was I'm getting that. What did I just say earlier? Moses that God names I am.
And most of Jesus said, whatever he asking in God's name is granted. I am getting. Means you're manifesting it or creating it into your experience. So that's the thought that's going out and creating. I just remember as well, but I did a lot of that one when I was studying my CPA and stuff like putting, like, I'm going to be a CPA, but you know, these things, sometimes we know it, but it's just, we forget like us human beings.
We forget to, do these things. So, now it comes to mind that you are currently keynote speaker and you have corporate action hero. How was the transition. And why do you think that it's important for you to impart the message especially in corporate settings?
Well, I, that's a great question because first of all, the transition was interesting. What happened was, as I was doing my comedy show all over the world and I found that I was enjoying the time after the show more than I was the time on the stage, because I was out in the audience and I was helping people break past their limiting beliefs and achieve their goals.
I still have letters from people today who told me I saved their marriages and I did all these, it wasn't me that saved them. I just gave them the tools to do what they needed to do. Right. And get to find their own f but I still get letters from people telling me that, wow, that was amazing.
So I said, well, I got to find a way. To be able to do that because that really fed my soul, but I also wanted to still crack whips and do numb chucks and do comedy and do all kinds of fun, things like that too. And then I started looking at the corporate world and in the corporate world, it's a very unique place because in the corporate world, they're very straight laced and they don't talk spirituality or metaphysics or any of that stuff.
It's very, we are this that way. And what's really interesting is I find that in the corporate world, a lot of people feel very repressed fear, very held back. And I thought, well, I don't want to go talk to the people who were already empowered. I want to go find the people that are. Really disempowered and I want to empower them.
And I said, well, the greatest place to do that is in corporations. Right. Go to corporations and empower them people. So I started, creating these corporate speeches and when I first started, I tried to mold myself to the corporate world. And I very quickly discovered that I didn't get any work when I stopped molding myself to the corporate world and went in there as my authentic self and did the whips and the numb chucks and all the crazy stuff that I do with the stuff I got work like crazy.
show and people would comment, oh my God. Oh, my God, you've changed my life. I'm doing so many, you know, I'm going to go do this right now. They get all excited. And I, you know, I get emails and people all over the world. One of the things I do in my, main corporate speech, I find the most timid person I can find in my audience.
I bring them to the stage and an under five minutes. And then they will just do like this.. They're terrified. Right? Well, that's a great, great, cause what happens? They come to the stage. They're terrified. First thing I do is I smile at him and I say, thank you so much for helping me. So what have I just thought I've just engaged their purpose.
They're there to help me not to be embarrassed or so just taking them out of there, out of that one fear response. The next thing is I turn to the audience and I say, isn't she a rockstar? And the audience cheers for her now, what was her biggest fear? But the audience wouldn't like her or that she'd do something stupid in front of the audience.
But if I get the audience to tell them, they love her. That knocks the fear right out. So I did that. Right. So then the next thing I do is I start talking about fishing and we just talk about fishing for a little while. And I say, have you ever cast a fishing rod? And she says no. Or yes, doesn't really matter what she says.
I said, well, today I'm going to teach you the best way to cast a fishing rod. And she's okay. And I pull out a whip
and now she's freaking out. Cause I have a bull with him, my hand. So I know that her new fear is the whip. So I say to her, we're just, we're just using the whip as a fishing rod. It's the same motion. Don't worry about it. So I negate her belief about the whip. I take that out of the equation then before she can think about the fact that she's holding a whip in her hand, I got a whole section of the audience to make a fish face.
It looks like this. But I say, and now what I want you to do is I want you to choose which fish. Cast your fishing rod. And what happens is she cast a fishing rod and the whip cracks. It literally cracks really loud because it's the same motion. Right? I said, that was great catching other fish as she cracks it again, I get her to crack it for three times.
Then I reach into my bag and I pulled out a target. And it's basically all it is. It's a pretzel rod. About a nine inch pretzel. And I hold it in my hand, I hold it in my hand. Now her new fear is what hurting me. I look her in the eyes. I said, did you hear it crack? And she says, yes, I heard a crack said, so you already know how to make it crack.
Don't worry about that. And so basically what I just did was I just told her that she doesn't have to learn it anymore. She now knows it. I changed her timeline from learning to knowledge, just with a sentence. The next thing I did was. All I want you to do is look right here and cast a fishing rod.
That's all I want you to do. Don't worry about it. And then I see the little apprehension I say, and I promise you're not going to hurt me. Cause her biggest fear is hurting me and you can see her literally go, okay. She literally exhales, And then she cast a fishing rod and she hits the target without hitting me every time.
your fear is the thing that will always limit you from achievement. And if you can manage your fear response and, your belief about your moment, she could have easily stayed in the belief that she was still learning the wip. But she took the fact if she believed me that she already knew how right.
So it was me manipulating her belief and me managing her fear. But she was the one who actually turned her brain off to her fears off and got to that space. So it kind of proves the point, what happens is after that, that moment.
So basically let me just go back. All of that happens in five minutes. So in five minutes, she goes up on stage, embarrassed, learns how to crack a whip and takes the target out of my hand in five minutes. I mean, that's amazing really in the whip world, that's an expert skill. So, she has just had a life-changing moment because as I said earlier, she was the most timid person I could find.
Right. She has just walked on stage and crack targets out of a guy's hand. And her audience is yelling that she's a rock star or an action hero. They're screaming for your woooooh! They're freaking out for her. She's just had a life-changing moment. Now, everybody in the audience who knows her and knows how timid she is, has just said, oh my God, I can't believe she did it.
So now I've changed the audience too. See if she can do it, I can do it. So that's really kind of the way that works. And so I go into corporations and I know I don't wear the tights that I wear before. I learned that after the third speech, I should stop wearing the tights.
But yeah, I, love with a passion. What I do right now. It's so amazing because I still do whips and numb chucks in comedy and, I do still do all that stuff, but I'm changing lives on a regular basis. it's amazing, John, and Thank you for the work that you do.
I often wonder if, the big metaphysical healers, Jesus and all those, if instead of being healers, were they just really good? Convincers. No really just convincing people of their healing, convincing, people to take their beliefs, because he, Jesus says, it's your faith that heals you.
Right? And so that to me is an interesting concept because if you can convince that's all I do on stage with that woman is I convinced her that she learned a skill. I convinced her she's not going to hurt me. That's all that really is, is just convincing someone.
I was one time speaking at a, at an event in Canton, Ohio, just south of my house here. And after I spoke, several people wanted to have private consultations with me. And so they put me up in. This very weird little room in a balcony. And so people would come up the stairs to where it was.
I mean, sit and we'd talk and I'd try to break them out of their, their fears and get them moving forward. And this woman came up the stairs with two people, helping her on either side and her using two canes. Right. And I sat there and I talked with her for awhile. And at the end of our talk, I walked her back out to her car.
When she got to her car, she realized she forgot her canes
without the help of two people. You can, you can take whatever belief you want and it will manifest into your experience. I could have easily said that I am paralyzed. And I would be paralyzed today.
More on the show.
So there are a universal truth, within all of it. And then when you really delve into Christianity, that's not mired down by the various disciplines of it.
We define our, creation because if, as I said earlier, if, if everything's pure energy and you hold your hand up and you look at your hand, your hand is pure energy, but here's the weird part.
The eyes that you're looking at that hand with are pure energy and the air in between your eyes and that hand is pure energy. So the only thing you really are is your thoughts. And that's what got me out of the bed. Is that weird? Is that esoterically weird or what? It it's weird, but makes sense now, but not really weird, you know, Einstein, said, when you look at the smallest parts and you see how organized it is, he says there's gotta be some consciousness behind. So Einstein used to say he believed in what he says. I believe in the God of Spinoza is what he used to say. the God of Spinoza. Spinoza was a scientist who believed that there was a larger consciousness, but he didn't believe in a big bearded man on a cloud.
he didn't believe in that sort of thing. He that's what he believed in, in a larger energetic consciousness. And Einstein believed in the God who was what he called the God of Spinoza. And he believed that there was some, higher intelligence now in Hinduism, they talk about, you being the center of a, wagon wheel and each spoke is a different lifetime.
So they believe in reincarnation, right? the outer rim of that wheel is the higher consciousness that connects all the lives together. Right. So it's really interesting because you talk to them, you talk to the people who've had past life regressions and things of that nature. They describe going into something and experiencing that lifetime when they get hypnotized.
So, but on the outer circle is this consciousness that knows everything that happened in that person's life in the, in Hinduism So if that's, if that's the case, then, then our thoughts that are here now might be connected to this outer ring, which is a larger consciousness. if that's the case, then maybe, maybe it is organized that way.
I'm not vain enough to say that that's what it is. I'm pretty much agnostic. I look at everything as a, I don't know, but I find it fascinating. This study. Yeah, it is. it's a good point then, me, I grew up in. Very conservative Catholic family, but after some time, like I kind of not only limit my beliefs in that realm, I guess and I'm, very much of the thinking about the energy and it really makes sense to me, especially faith healing or something, like about the energy and stuff.
I think it's just because of that, but that's just, my belief on that. I know you're saying the same thing I'm saying, because you know, a quote unquote face healer, if you think about the first word of that faith, right? The people who were healed by them put, put faith in their healing through them.
It doesn't matter who they are. So they're, they're believing, they're healed because of that. And so it's their belief that healed them. And a lot of times the quote unquote, faith healers are really just shysters, but just, they're just making a living, making money off of other people's faith. Because the reality it is, like I said earlier, they're probably just really good convincers But with the convincers there are people who are good at convincing and some people need those people to remind them, cause there are people maybe they just need someone to tell them, they don't feel like they have the power within themselves, so they have to go somewhere else to put faith in something outside of themselves.
And it's interesting because I too was raised Catholic and my mom had her master's degree in Liturgy. And she was actually head of liturgical doctrine at our church, which means that when the priest wanted to do a sermon, he had to pass it by my mom. She could say, oh yeah, that, that is in alignment with what we believe.
That's exactly what happened at the church. Well, when I turned 18, my mom said to me, she says, John spirituality is a personal journey and you have to come to your own beliefs. I hope you'll come back to Catholicism, but you need to come to your own beliefs. And then that's what made me go off and study.
And what I found really interesting when I studied was I found truth in all of it. And I found junk in all of it, right? Oh, I found guilt and dogma and all these, know, ceremonies and dah, dah, dah. But then when you started looking there, there there's kindness and love and all. Right. The there's the prophet Muhammad says he who knows not kindness has no faith.
and, Islam gets such a bad r but the people who gave it the bad rap are doing horrific, non peaceful things. And Islam means peace and Muslim means I'm a follower of peace. So for them to attack a building or do a terrorist act, they're not Muslim.
Right. So that to me is a very interesting thing. I gave you that litany of thought quotes earlier in those thought quotes, I, mentioned Buddhism Hinduism Christianity, And then I also mentioned Einstein and then Edgar Mitchell's Nordic science and the thought patterns being.
So there are a universal truth, within all of it. So I think it's a matter of looking at the truth. And then when you really delve into Christianity, that's not mired down by the various disciplines of it. When you, when you travel through India, you're going to hear people talk about the prophet ISA all the time. and then they start telling you, well, he was here and he, and they tell you that the path that he walked and the things that he did all through India, and then you find out who the, so what happened to ISA? Well, he went back to his country and was crucified.
he literally was Jesus in between the time he was a child and he was 30, but he's not in the Bible. They know where he was in India. Which is fascinating.
So , before we wrap up what is the difference between an action hero and a support hero? That's a great question. Great question. An action hero is an ordinary individual who creates an extraordinary result.
Now the word action means create motion, start momentum, or to do something. The word hero is someone who achieves extraordinary results in service of others. A superhero. Is someone who wears their underwear on the outside of their pants were radiated by some sort of goo and probably have super powers, which means if they're doing super things, that means they're really not getting out of their box.
They're really kind of slackers because you know, if you have super powers and do super things, you're really not doing much. Ah, I love it. So if you were to star in an action movie that has been released in the past, or maybe you can make up your own movie, what movie would it be?
What movie would it be? Well, I would love to have been in princess bride, but I would have loved to have been Wesley, but I built more like Fezzik giant.
I would love to have been the sword fighter guy because sword fighting is a passion of mine. And so if you give me a chance to do that, if I was going to be a superhero movie, they would cast me as the Hulk, but I would really want to be captain America because first of all, I'm very old fashioned kind of person.
But the second of all, I like the integrity of that character. it really says a lot about the person Yeah. what he embodies, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, even when he became captain America, they said, you know, good gets better. And so they chose best person they could find, and they gave him the serum and they become a great person.
That's what I would hope I would embody in my life. And I really hope that I'm like a boat going down through a river, leaving a positive wake behind me. Great. And one last question. So if you were to make a grand entrance to a room, what would be your theme song?
Crack that whip Debo
I would come on stage and I would start cracking whips, like crazy.
Okay, great. That was fun. So John, where can our Zesties find you easiest place to find me is CorporateActionHero.com. You can find all kinds of interesting stuff on there. If you want my five F workbook, it's a free gift. And that means free means you don't even have to give me an email address or nothing.
You just go to CorporateActionHero.com/gift. And you have to go to that link. Cause you're not going to find it on the web. That's a direct link that you have to go to. If you want daily motivation, go to corporate action here on YouTube. I put out a video every morning and I have done so for the past four years.
So there's a lot of motivational, a couple of two to three minutes, a piece probably sometimes nine, eight or nine minutes, but usually two to three minutes every day, you'll get just a little something. And I just released a workbook on effective communication. And so if you're looking for ways to communicate better and, and to not elicit fears and in your communications, that's available on my website and on August 1st, I'm releasing a full online course on it's called the interaction hero self-confidence course.
And it's all about building your self-confidence and getting out of your way right now. It's it's on pre-sale it releases August 1st. If you buy it on presale, you get 50 bucks off the price. And on August 1st, you, get all the money. Oh, great. Looking forward to that, John. I think I really need that one.
I don't think so. I think, I think you've got great confidence. Okay. Thank you.
I had the interview with John. We actually had a lot of distractions as there were some personal stuff that needed to be sorted out, back in the Philippines. So I keep getting calls during the interview. He gave me
personal advice, but I thought I'd still shared with you Zesties as it's very insightful.
when people are contacting you, you gotta remember they're living their experience. You don't have to take their experiences yours. Okay. Because they're going to a lot of throws things on top of you and put a lot of responsibility on you. That's their choice to try to do that. Right? You can only do what you can, you can only do what you do.
But the other thing you can do is you can also think about it this way. They're doing the best they can with what they know. Right. And like my father was an abuser and a horrible person. But when I finally broke past that, it was because I said he did the best he could with what he knew. Cause he, his father was an alcoholic and a drug abuser.
So the experiences of their life, I don't have to take on and repeat. Anybody else's junk. So that's just for you. Great. Thank you. Thank you, John. Okay. Remember to exhale, to exhale. All right. Yeah. Thank you.
What do you think of this week's episode? This pandemic alone added a lot of anxiety and worry alongside my other worries in life. Having some kind of outlet, may it be people, things, and most of all, faith does keep us grounded. So I hope you Zesties have gained some insights on this week's episode. If you have some episode suggestions, please send them through to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com.
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Transcript:
Last week on the show.
When you move to a different country yes, the salary compared to the Philippines is higher, but the expenses here. So I rent here is almost cost of one salary.
Yeah, it's the same.
This week on the gleeful talk show.
if you were given a chance, would you spend a night at the luxurious hotel and all that fancy thing, or would you spend it in a camping experience in this beautiful place?
Hey, there is St. Thanks for tuning in. I know everyone has gone through a lot, not only the past year, but as well as in the present moment, know that you are not alone in this journey. I myself have days and sometimes weeks of being down most, especially that I am away from my family and friends and only know a few people here in Australia.
I encourage you to connect and reconnect with your most trusted people. No matter how far they are physically, or perhaps pursue
New hobbies and horizons as change is the only constant thing in life. And we have to cope for those. Having a hard time, please do reach out to for professional help and prioritize your mental
wellbeing.
This is the second part of my conversation with Maria and of Tita detox. If you haven't listened to the first part, I suggest you go and have a listen. If you have listened previously, thank you for your continued support.
a lot of people though here, they prefer, living in the suburbs, which is like an hour away from the city. But for me I don't know for you, are you living in the city center where you are in here? Yes, but we're not really close to the, downtown.
They say it's more like a bus ride away. So It's not that expensive, I would say, but most of us were actually, can barely afford a home. You can rent, usually are on apartments and , rentals Yeah. Yeah. Same a lot of people here prefer, even in Australia, they prefer living in the suburbs because even them, , it's hard for them as well.
the housing and real estate, but for us, I still prefer living in the city because I think maybe cause us Filipinos, we really prefer the city. We're not really. Yeah. Only few Filipinos are really too into nature and too grew up poor. We grew up poor. that's actually one thing that was asked.
we had a game during one of our lunch meetings, something, something. So we were asked if you were given a chance, would you spend a night at the luxurious hotel and all that fancy thing, or would you spend it in a camping experience in this beautiful place?
The Canadian. We're all in the camping, the Filipinos were all in the hotel and we were talking in Filipino that's because we all live in a poor country. Everyday is a camping, camping day. Like we struggle with water. We struggle with electricity. They don't experience that here. So they go for camping.
Yeah, exactly. Same with Australians aside from that, they have like really good like water supply at all. Right. But they are really into nature. I mean, it's just also the nature here. People here are too into nature. Yeah, same with Canadians. they go crazy during summer.
They go camping all of every summer, even with bears, , there's a alert. Cause my boss right now, there was a warning that the area where her cabin is had bear sightings. So they were asked if possible, do not go camping until, , it's clear from the bears and all that.
She did not. She still went on camping every year. She does camping every weekend. So she didn't care about that. But isn't this an Australia you have like, the creepy crawlies I've heard about the, insects and the animals that are very poisonous. And I dunno, is that a certain place in Australia people who live in the suburbs.
So they have like very big spiders in their home. That's why I don't want to live in a house in the suburbs I have a friend, also a very good friend. She lives in the suburbs as well. They have a house and the surroundings is still nature. They can see kangaroos. So you asked, they're like neighbors and they go hopping there and stuff.
So, but me, I prefer to live the city without spiders or
yeah. Cause that's one thing. Yeah. I heard from Australia that, it's very popular with with Nikki Heeks I think, well, this is one side of it. Of course this is just one side, the national geographic side of Australia. I've heard about the poisonous spiders and all the snakes and sharks.
And I don't even know what, what I was watching, but that was one of the national geographic videos watched before common and still in households, because even like that was one friend. I have another friend she lived in the sunshine coast before they lived in a, like, also like a house. So it's not a building They see snakes, you know, like,, It's just okay. It's normal, , they just see these creatures. And for me, it's like, no, I wouldn't want to, , we're scared. Yeah. When they grow up and, , growing up with the, with the bears for, in my case, I guess that's why, that's why it's very common.
And they don't really care about that. Cause cause that's Filipinos, we were were, were telling my boss not own, don't go there. , the bears are very huge and that , they can harm you, but she didn't care. And the funny thing is after that weekend, when we had a meeting again, she even showed us a picture.
The bear, the bear, her backyard. She was like, oh yeah, I did see a bear. the Filipinos. Our team was like, how are you? So proud? It's a bear!. Yeah, I guess It's common to them. I guess this is one thing that we also Filipinos have when we see other What do we have for the piece of everything?
Cockroaches Cockroaches? and rats Yeah. Yeah. We don't. Well, unless the cockroaches are flying, but it's common to us. I don't like cockroaches I live poor, but I still don't love them. Me too.I mean, who does, who does when they're flying, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. You're, you're brave enough when they're just steady crawling and all that, but then they start flying, oh my God..
So I guess that's, that's our equivalent of the bears and the snakes. It's so funny. Even, I don't know, during the pandemic, if there are some news there that Australians were with the toilet paper. I don't know about. Yeah, I think it was a couple of days before we go into full lockdown.
Well actually we had the announcement a week before the actual implementation. So we had a week of people going to actually it's even more than a week if I'm not mistaken, it's more than a week before, , the actual lockdwon. So we had several days to buy and all that, but the next day after it was announced, the next day t I mean, it was like crazy. Everything was gone. Paper towel , facial tissues, any type of issue was gone yeah. For some reason, postal here seem like even people were in, in Facebook, mark themselves safe from the toilet paper shortage. It's like that. And it was all over Tiktok as well. And even in the Philippines, they heard about Australia, , having shortage toilet paper, which is funny to me, funny for us, I feel as Filipinos.
I mean, like we still use tissue tissue, but to live without it. Right. We can use the natural way. Yep. That's true. That's true. So that's why they say Filipinos are safe from the whole zombie tissue thing that happened, 'Coz Filipinos, we're like. Okay, we're fine if there's no tissue, but doing the time that I went on the superstore grocery, it was actually really empty.
Like nothing even faced issue, , the Kleenex and all that. Everything was gone. During your full lockdown, was it like, even people are still allowed to go in right Let's say it's already locked down, but the essential stores or the groceries are still open, right? Yes. Yes.
That's still hoard. Right? That's true. There was actually after the lockdown, like I guess I would say two weeks after the lockdown, we can go and pick up. No matter how many tissues that that they're available. But then I guess after that they had a limit. So when new supplies came in, they had a limit of like two or one something package for just one person per family.
They actually had a limit on the number of people. So grocery or superstores, grocery stores, sorry. That's what they call up here. So the stores here are called grocery Superstore. It's actually one of the most famous big stores here, like Costco, but I keep on referring them a superstore, but yeah, the grocery stores were open, but they were on to like 25% capacity.
So the lines were long, really, really long.Would that be the same cas e with you during the same here as well. We had limits as well for cereal, for whatever you have there's limit. Yeah. Yeah, because for some reason people hoarded something, even pastas um, yeah, no, have that. I mean, the tissues were yeah.
Were accepted, but the other food there, I mean, pasta and cereals were okay, but cereals. Yeah, yeah, And also like sanitizers as well. But yeah, everything had the limit at that time. Everything because people just hoard and yeah, there was funny, So what funny story when you first arrived in Canada I don't know if I would say this as funny or. If humiliating, but I definitely remember my first ever winter. So I didn't know how to walk, , cause there's a training. Well, not really, but there's a technique in walking cause it's very slippery.
So if it's knowing it's okay. I mean snow it's definitely better than after. It stops snowing and it's kind of melting and then again, the temperature gets colder. The snow turns into like, , the Popsicle thing, it's clear, it's super slippery. So you have to walk a certain way to make sure not to fall down.
So during my first winter So the roads were slippery. There it's a mess. I was going off the bus and I don't know if it's the same in Australia, but the buses here, we kind of have like a back door or rear door. So that's one way for you to go out of the bus.
So I followed this guy and this guy went out and when the door opened, there was like a block of snow. That was covered the walkway were cleared. And so the snows were put on the side, so happened that the bus did not stop at that particular area for the bus stop. So it kind of moved. And so the snow were blocking the door.
So the guy before me, all he did was step on it and then hop over and he was able to go out. I tried it thinking that it would just be easy cause it's my first snow so experienced. So I thought I could just do it. I mean, it's nothing I can jump. It was so slippery. I slipped and hit my head and to avoid being humiliated.
I, I pretended to be like, I was unconscious.
I thought that I could get away with it because that the guy before me was able to do it, I didn't get to do it. So I thought that, , to save myself from the embarrassment, I would just pretend, and then maybe someone would help me. And , something's to save myself. Yeah. Nobody helped.
Nobody came to stand up on my own, shake it off. And that's when I realized that if it's winter never, ever go out the rear door, cause it's always, always, there's a possibility that the snow will block that area. So from then on, I have been learning how to. Cope with winter. Definitely. One thing that you would learn once you are in a country like here, where winter is well in my area, at least, or winter is really bad.
You have to walk a certain way. You have to know where to again, to go out of the bus. That was the most humiliating one. And I actually sued not really sued, but I went and claim damage from the city because of that really? Oh, I did. I did. Yeah, because I was working with the city at that time. So I told them about what happened.
They said, no, that should not happen because The bus should stop at a certain area. And this certain area should be cleared from all the snow. Just so happens that the bus that I took did not stop in that exact area. So the rear door was covered with snow. So they told me to go and Sue, I did, but it was just for like a hundred dollars.
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good thing as well with being in the first world country. Right. Because these things you can, , claim like, , in the city in the Philippines , whatever happens to you when the jeepney or something, , it's their fault sometimes even your fault. Yeah, exactly.
It's your fault. No, but who cares? Yeah. You were the dumb one. I guess if this happened in the Philippines, I would just be like laughed off and yeah. Yeah. And you just move on. Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, that's a funny way of learning embarrassing. Yeah. And from then on, I started learning never, ever, ever trust the snow no, it's like too, too shiny.
It's going to be slippery. So you would fall. So that's one problem here with the snow. So I hate snow. I officially same with my husband as well. Like it snows in his city as well. he couldn't comprehend why Filipino was loved snow
for him. snow is annoying. your car, and because of media, I feel, , the movie, the movies, the Hollywood movies, the Christmas movies, where we're made to believe that snow added to the magical factory of opening Christmas gifts. Yeah, It's too cold, that's true. And what so what do you like about the lifestyle in Canada right now? I guess if it's because I live in the province areas of provincial area. So I don't know if this would be the same for those that are living in Toronto or those bigger cities. But I would say that the life here is more of peaceful and laid back.
we don't have the noisy streets and then we don't have too much traffic. if there's traffic here, there's definitely some murder or something that happened along the road, but I can remember just two events where there was traffic and there was car collision at that time.
So it's very laid back. I definitely would say that this is more of the life that you would want if you're too tired of the city, but the thing is I'm not get tired of the city we're not that mature, I guess. If you want to retire maybe and settled down a peaceful life where you just go and eat and shop and, , grocery things, I would definitely say come to Manitoba, come to Winnipeg. it's a laid back life, but I miss the city, the hustle and yeah, I miss the city life.
Yeah, me too. how about. The food there is it's a food, good choices. The varieties. I guess this is the benefit of a diverse country. We have so many options available, so it's not just a Canadian food. We have, Jollibee of course. That's very important to mention. We have Jollibee we have Asian food.
We have Indian foods we actually have a lot, cause every nation that would have their own food, their own restaurant here. So I guess that's one thing that is a benefit of a diverse country. I would assume it would be the same with Australia, but you said you don't have a lot of Filipino community.
in Australia as well actually, Brisbane, there are a few or immigrants compared to Sydney and Melbourne as well.
So that's the downside of it because I mean, it's still diverse, but I guess me coming from Dubai again, food is a whole different level. in Dubai it's easier for me, it's cheaper to buy food outside rather than cook it yourself. So, yeah, because there are a lot of varieties.
So there's competition in pricing. Yeah. But here, I feel that I'm in Asia or something as well, because there are a lot of Korean, Japanese, Chinese foods. Oh I heard only like maybe two Filipino restaurants here, but there are mostly like Vietnamese, Asian, Asian foods are available.
I mean, I mean something closer to our palette, And then my husband and I, like French food I tasted it in Dubai and , our travels, but it's very expensive here, the French food. so if you want an affordable option, you just have the burgers and the Asian foods with which it's not I'm complaining about, but it's the variety is not that much.
I feel, and I heard it from other colleagues who are immigrants as well. So that's what they feel that not so much variety on food where there's no, Jollibee here as well. Not in oh, okay. Okay. But in Australia there there's a job. There's job. The need. There is, there is um, in terms of light, it's like maybe like almost a two hour flight from here.
So I haven't been to Melbourne. So cause we, we transferred here 2019, and then pandemic games. So you were not given a chance to travel yet? Yeah. Yeah, only like within Queensland and I went to Sydney for the passport because my passport expired. So I just went there and then came back. still Sydney is a very, I feel it's very Asian as well.
I feel I noticed some that the food there is you feel like you're in Asia. Well, that's at least better than, I mean, not having any Asian food at all. Like if it's just what's, what's the Australian food, like, I mean, what's the most Australian
thing, fish and chips, all like the UK, UK fish and chips, and they have burger and chips as well. So for them French fries. Oh, okay. Okay. But as far as its fries. So how about Canada? The most Canadian food here is poutine. Like it's what fries with cheese and I don't know. It's, it's very I wouldn't say it's oily, but there's cheese, a lot of cheese.
A lot of, I have. I'm not sure I have it eaten it yet because it was too greasy for me, for me. Okay. But my nephews, they all love it. And I think that's the most Canadian food. Other than being there for six years, you haven't tried. I I'm a very picky eater, so that's just me, but I think it's actually. good because my nephews are also picky eater, but they'd love it. So for six years I still have nottried it, I guess I haven't been convinced yet to try it. Cause it's too greasy for my taste. Sorry. here, before coming to Australia, , I feel like I haven't eaten that much burgers as I have eaten here.
So I count the burgers I eat in Philippines and Dubai. It wouldn't, it wouldn't sum up to how much burgers I ate. Oh yeah, me too. I mean, for me pizza, like the pizza here are also good. I don't know if it's a Canadian thing, but the pizzas are still so good, but I think I have eaten. The twice as much as I have in the Philippines for my whole life in the Philippines, the pizzas here are cheap, very accessible.
I mean, you can order it online. It can be delivered to you whether it's snowing or whatever. So pizzas my counter burgers or the burgers. Oh, so what do you think every Filipino immigrants should know or look out for when they move abroad? I guess it would be if there's one thing that you have to take note, if you are moving to a different country, it's that, as we have mentioned earlier, you will go through a Months or years of depression and it's normal.
It's everybody goes through that phase where you have to question your decisions and you feel like it's a bad move for that. So you have to take note, I guess, that, this is something that you will experience and you have to brace yourself for that. Other than that I would say that you have to make sure to also what else, wait, I'm thinking of things that you can do for yourself, like just I don't know what else do I, because for me it's the mental part.
That was actually the most surprising thing for me. Like I already expected that the language will be different. Of course food would be different. Everything would be different. So I kind of have expected that it's more on the mental state. That really surprised me. Cause when it was said during our training, I was actually more like arrogant sort off.
Like I wouldn't go through that phase. I mean, I have my family here. I have my work. I have, it's a new life. It's something that, but yeah, I did go through it and that's one thing that you have to take notes. So if you are really decided to come or move to a different country, you have to prepare yourself as well.
Emotionally. Yeah, that's a very good tip. Yeah. I can totally relate on that. It's not, yeah. The journey, it has, there are really ups and downs. It's not like a bed of roses, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's, that's one thing that you think would happen to you when you do different country.
Like, especially if you have already a job that you will be doing once you arrived at a different country, you think that everything would be okay and you're just be earning more, but it comes with some, some take back, sorry, negative things. And as you mentioned as well, like, we had stable jobs in the Philippines, but when you move abroad, it's always not going to be that way.
So most of the time you go back to zero and also then that adds to your mental status though. Yeah. We our fellow Filipinos should, or any immigrants should be, Be mindful that, really can happen and prepare for that situation. Cause it's not going to be, if you are a boss in previously you're sometimes, or most of the time you will not be the boss.
That's true. You have to start, from the ground as well. That's true. now we're for some fun questions, not really related to immigration or so are you ready? I've catered this specifically for you. So current K drama you're watching right now.
And why should our zesty. Watch it hospital playlist, that's actually my number one K drama right now, currently watching it. I highly recommend it. It's different from all the medical dramas that I've seen because most medical K dramas or medical dramas in particular are usually more on the mystery of a disease and how to resolve it.
This one is more on the interaction, the emotional connection between doctors and patients, patients, and their, their relatives or family, something that's. So it's, it's more of an emotional journey rather than them mystery of solving a medical condition. So I definitely recommend it, Yeah, I noticed that, but Does it have funny moments as well, or it's like really serious? Actually rollercoaster of emotion. Like in one episode alone, you would go from laughing with all the characters, with all the main characters and their interaction with each other because they're friends and then you'll go crying when they're dealing with their patients.
And then there, you would go kilig, which I, I don't know if there's an equivalent English term, but you feel in love and all that with all the romantic love lines in the series, it's a, it's a rollercoaster of emotions. So it's definitely something that you may want to check out, but it's not your typical medical Excited for that I still have a lot of things on my, my, all the drama list, but yeah. And what is your most favorite K drama of all time. Oh, wow. Okay. I always, whenever I had a with any podcasts, they always ask me and I always have a hard time with this because I feel that if I choose one, I would hurt the others.
I feel that I would be like, it's disrespecting the other K drama. So I would say I currently love the hospital playlist, but my previously just for this year, I would say my favorite for this year alone is just Which I had you, I guest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was just for this year alone and for this year.
However, so you're saying that you cannot really choose an an all-time Kdrama. I cannot, and it's, I feel, again that it would be a disrespect to all the other K drama that I love. So I cannot choose. Sorry. How about before Vincente though? 2020. Oh, definitely crash landing on you. It's one of the best of 2020.
There's actually a lot from 2020. but that's one thing that I really, really love from that year. Crash Landing On You. Okay. Then who is the ultimate oppa Okay. This one is a bit easy because I do have a list. So I joined Yeah, Itaewon Class. Yeah. Okay, great. You haven't watched your beauty, so, oh yeah, I haven't, I haven't True Beauty, but it actually has on my that's this weekend.
That's my drama. After taxi driver. If I finish it today or tomorrow. So after I watched that thing, cause I have three more episodes to go and then I'm down to True Beauty I will update you on that because a lot of people are also asking me to watch that K drama, but yeah. I'm reading now the webtoon actually really. Oh, yeah, I like it. They know. I mean, this is the guy he's just the most perfect guy in the world. Maybe second. perfect to my husband. Yeah. I was going to say that like your husband could be listening to this one, but yeah. I don't know if you like. Cold, , like a cold, cool guy. There's, there's a Japanese word for that type of character.
I can not remember for my life. I cannot remember the exact or maybe this Estes would know, and they can just update you, but I don't remember the exact term, but there is a term used for that type of character, the ones that are cold and nonchalant at first, and then they turn into warmer character.
Isn't it. I watch a lot of, of anime, so before K-drama, there was anime for me, but even now I'm not very familiar with that term. I didn't know. They, they told me the, the, the people that were listening to the podcast were also telling me this things like there's a term for this one. There's a term for that.
I'm learning. No, I know the term for the cool, but I think it's different. I mean, the Word for cool, like cool guy, but I think it's a different term as well. So that's interesting. So yeah, they can update us. They can tell us if they know the exact term for it. Cause I, I cannot remember my memory is really bad.
Sorry. Yeah, me too. So yeah. So before we close off, so please invite our zesties to listen to your podcasts, right. Again, I'm like to invite you all zesties to listen to my podcasts. If you are interested in K dramas please listen to Tita Talks. It's not really Tita related podcasts, but it's more of me talking about my favorite, which is K drama.
So we talk about K drama reviews and all the other episodes like I give out suggestions of K dramas for particular subject. So if you are interested, please listen to Tita talks. It's available. Streaming platforms like Spotify, apple podcasts, Google podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I do have social media accounts. I may be a Tita, but I do have social media account, which is Facebook it's facebook.com/titalkspodcast and on Twitter and Instagram it's '@talkstita . Okay, great. Thank you so much for your time today.. It was fun. It was fun and insightful. So yeah. Thank you so much. I hope they learned something from our immigration story.
Thanks Zestie for listening. If you know the Japanese word for cold guy type of characters, please let us know through the comments on our social media accounts. And if you are an immigrant, how was your immigration journey? If you want to share it with us, please let us know by emailing gleeful talk show@gmail.com.
We look forward to hearing from you.
There are two things we have in common with Marian - being an immigrant and a K-drama fan.
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Transcript:
And when I went back to the Philippines for vacation, I really wanted to check out the malls. I want to experience the life before, because this is really province. It's a province life it's way province, sir. He was in a word it's way more provincial
hey Zesties.Welcome to the gleeful talk show where reshare is asked these stories to cultivate the happiness and here within
Thank you as STS for supporting the show so far and shout out to our listeners in Victoria and Queensland. I hope you guys are keeping safe. Staying home during lockdown.
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in this episode, we are going to talk about personal immigration stories. I am joined by a fellow podcaster and immigrants currently based in Canada. She is the creator of Tita talks, a podcast, deep diving into Korean dramas and Filipino teleseries for both beginners and hardcore fans.
So far our non Filipino listeners, the word Tita Tita translates to aunt, which is not necessarily your relative by blood, but a term that connotes a lady in her mature years. I'm not quite sure if I have explained that, right, but they'll ask our guests later. So please welcome Marianne Aaron off Peter talks.
Hi . Hi, thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. So did I explain the word Tita, right. I think so. I think it is, it is more of the, a matured person. Some of the things like, yeah, it's like, it's kind of like sometimes like a joke, right. In the Philippines, like you have like Tita Tita moments or, , just sipping wine or, , it's quite older.
Yeah. It definitely relates to you being mature. Yeah. But it's definitely something that it's not really exclusive to being a blood related. Yes.
you run Tita talks, but I think in, in your podcasts, you haven't really talked much about yourself only oppas.
So,
I was just going to ask you a bit of background on yourself Well what do I say? I don't know. I don't really talk too much about myself, as you have mentioned.
my podcast is called Tita Talks, but I don't really talk about myself. Well, not anymore. Before that was the format of the podcast. I used to talk about a lot of things, different things, sometimes the most, trending topics and all that, but I'm shifted or moved or transitioned to more specific topic, which is the K drama. So I don't really know what to say about myself, but I currently am in Canada. I have been here for six years now. I would say September, this September six years. So yeah, you're from Bicol and then immigrated to Canada.
So why, did you immigrate if I may ask. Well, actually it's the same as any one who migrated to a different country. It's usually because of it's, money, better job opportunities. And for me, I guess the additional thing about migrating is that I am here with my brothers because before I was living alone in Manila, so my family are in Bicol and in Canada.
So I'm the only one living in Manila. So for five years I was all alone in Manila. So that's when also, I finally decided to move with the other side of my family, which is here in Canada. that's additional to the usual things, which is of course money, greater opportunities. So, but let's say if your family weren't in Canada right now, would you have preferred staying back in the Philippines or you would still prefer going abroad? Well, that's a good question. I would say that I would probably have stayed in the Philippines if I had no one here in Canada, I would have stayed in the Philippines because that's where my family is right now.
So I actually never had on my own decision to move to a different country traveling, I would say, but living in a different country other than, for money or for career's sake, I never actually thought about it. So I would say, yeah, I would say that I would have stayed in the Philippines, opportunities were there, right?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I actually had a stable job. It's just that the expenses were higher than whatever I am earning.
we have all been through this. We had stable jobs, but the expenses were like, it's, it's definitely twice as much as we can earn.
And it's even now, like coming back or like going to vacation in the Philippines from an immigrant point of view or someone who is earning, , abroad when you.
Why is this so expensive? Like I know for this, even with my salary now, that's true.
When I went home last 2019, I didn't bring much clothes cause I was saving for the, expenses for the additional travel check in luggages. So I did not bring enough clothes. And I thought that I could just buy from the Philippines, , thinking that it could be cheaper.
Yeah. I ended up wearing my sister's clothes.
Yeah. It's quite expensive. They're like even the local brands, right? Like our local brands, like Penn shop bench, they areexpensive, because they have I think the artists as well are now international. Yes, the endorsers are mostly Koreans actually. Do the latest one right now?
Right? For which brand? Bench? I don't know. Who's the latest one for twice? No, no. The latest one. I just saw it on Instagram, so I don't know if, if the latest one, but that was the latest on my feed. It's okay. Not to be okay. The guy who.. Kim Soo Hyun?
I didn't know that!
That on Instagram. I didn't see that. Okay. Oh my gosh. Yeah, definitely. It's a local brand, but the endorsers are not local, which is ironic. If you think about it.
Exactly. Yes. For some reason, but because the people will like to buy because of,
Yeah. Yeah.
What they think are the top three reasons why Filipinos migrate? Well, definitely for, for those with families, they definitely, most of my brothers actually migrated for the sake of their kids so that they can get a better, , degree and better, life education.
And then for other reasons of course, career for those that are aspiring, but. Mostly it's because of money. And let's be honest. That's the main reason for most of us. would you agree with that or do you have a different reason? Yeah. before I met my husband, so I wanted to really go abroad because at that time the money was not at the bottom of the list, , when you're quite young, like 20 something, it's not really at the top of your list for me at that time.
So I wanted to go out because I wanted to explore the world char. Oh, okay. Yeah, Char. So it's not so it's that kind of ideal mentality, cause before I was just living in Cebu, so, I've gone to Manila and other parts of the Philippines for vacation, but not really like living there.
And it was just working in Cebu my entire life. And then I got the chance to, , like do a business trip, like outside the Philippines because of work. And I realized what the world can offer. So that was really my turning point. So all I want to go out, but yeah, so there were a lot of things that happened along the way, but I think aside from money and opportunity, I think exploration.
Oh, it's a, it's a different kind of world. It's something. Yeah.
Videoke. Yes. Yeah, it is. It is actually for young ones. That definitely would be one of the reasons why you migrate to different country. And for my, well, I wasn't really that old at that time, I was in my late twenties when I moved here. So I would say part of it was, it was the fact that it's a different kind of world and you're very hopeful when you migrate.
Actually, that's one thing that you have, it's the hope that Life would be better once you moved here. And we all had that experience. And then when you moved, after a while you suddenly realize, did I make the right decision? were there's some stages in your life that you had that question?
I would say yes. I wasn't really that hopeful. I mean, it wasn't all happy moments. Like when I experienced my first winter, because the winter here in where I am right now in Winnipeg, Canada, the winter here. Oh my God. We go from minus 30 to minus 40. Oh my God. My every year. So when am I coming next?
Yeah, we're on it. We have minus degrees weather for, I would say a good nine months, eight to nine months were covered in, well, not really covered in snow, but we have like a really cold weather, so yeah. And then for half a year, we're covered in snow.
So it's actually not really something that you imagined when you watch movies. Right. You, when you watch movies and they experienced, , winter, snowy, Christmas, they, yes. Right. So you think that it's going to be something so magical when I first experienced? No, I was also one of those. It felt so magical, but then if you experienced it for six months, for every, it's not magical.
So I guess in the first two years of my stay here, I definitely had those, that question in my mind did I make the right decision? Did you also have that? Because in Australia you don't have snow. Am I right? You don't have thankfully, but you do have like cold weather, right? Yeah. Yeah. We are currently like winter quote unquote here in Brisbane, but winter in now.
Yeah. But see, I'm in my t-shirt winter in Brisbane because we are opposite. We're in the Southern hemisphere. So if you're a summer, I'm winter. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the north pole and the south pole. So yes, we are winter here. Winter in Brisbane. It's quite north of Sydney in a different state that Sydney and Melbourne we are actually like subtropical city, subtropical state.
So in Queensland. So the winter is, I think the, lowest it can get here at nighttime. It's just maybe like 9 degrees
and lunch time. It will be like 20. I see. 2 23 0 5 the degree. Oh my God. It's so cold. Oh, my God, 9 degrees. The people here at 9 degrees are still wearing like short shorts and, , summer clothes. Cause that's actually our typical summer. Oh my God. Typical summer. But that's like the start of our summer when we get in the one digit, something like that, but then summer, Like right now it's plus 30, 30 something. like very big. disparity between the temperatures is very opposite. It's too high, too cold here in Brisbane. This is the only city that I noticed that on winter, there are two types of people. People who wear coats.
Or people who are on crop tops on winter that's Brisbane. So like, that's how it is. There are people who are able to withstand that, like the whole 10 degrees, , with cropped tops on, and then people like me who are like already too cold for it. definitely, if the people from my, from my place right now would move there, they would probably be the ones that are wearing crop tops. Yes. At first. Yeah. Yeah. 10 degrees. That's a blessing to us. That's definitely a perfect weather. Yeah. how was the transition? So I think I heard some stories from other friends who migrated about the winter as well.
they were depressed or something for a couple of years. How was it for you? I also went through that. The first couple of years was actually, I would say we all went through that. Cause I, remember when I moved here, there was actually a sort of like sponsored orientation for new immigrants provided by the government.
So it's not something that you have to go through. It's optional. But I went through that. Because I had nothing to do. I had no work yet at that time. So when we were discussing about the first few years, it was actually told that it would be it's not normal, but it's kind of expected for you to go from really hopeful and then to happy and then go to depression.
So that would be the curve. And then once you go after depression, of course, that's when you fully accepted your life here. So I did went through a couple of years that I was questioning things. I was lonely because all of my friends were actually in Manila. because my younger years were spent there.
So my friends were all there. So when I moved here and everyone that moved here are usually with their families, right? So no one comes to Canada. Well, at least in my area. , career wise, mostly because of their family for the kids' sake. So most of my friends were moms, so I had trouble with that because I had no one to go out with because they're moms.
Right. So I kind of struggled with that and I, I actually do still struggle with that for sometimes when I miss going out with them, , just, . But I would say after being here for six years, I would say that I kind of already got used to the life, I would say. And you kind of had a workaround and, , K drama saved me.
So it literally saves me. Yep. Yeah. So if I wanted to go out and there's no one to go out with, I would usually just go and watch K-dramas. So that's, that's my thing, here in Canada But would that be the same with you? Who I'm in Australia? Because I know that there's also a large community in Australia, but I don't know if it's also that large in Brisbane.
In Brisbane, actually, there are very few Filipinos. I don't know if there is a Filipino community per se, cause I really don't go out much anyway, but I had like two stages of not really immigration, but two stages or two countries. Well, when I went out of the Philippines, so I went first to Dubai.
I lived there for three years, and then immigrated to Australia. So that was like, I had like a detour in Dubai. So sort of like a training ground we're training. And then now you are in this way, it's the harshest training ever. Life in Dubai was really hard for me because I think that was cause that was my first going out of the Philippines and, and the story.
And this is where the story will start. So do you have time, like this is quite long. Sure, sure. We have all the time. So I went to Dubai, not because of money or anything or any or career. So I, I met my. Ex boyfriend now, husband in the Philippines, but he's not Filipino. But we kind of like worked together before, but we're in the same company, but so, , in the Philippines there are a lot of offshore companies, right?
Oh yes. so I worked in that company for five years and I've worked with him before. I didn't know him. It's just like emails, , company emails. I know him by a company emails because he's my counterpart outside of the Philippines. And then after five years , I resigned from that company.
I didn't meet him at that time. And then I moved to a different company, which is just beside the building of that company of my old company. And then, so what happened was that because we worked together before, I didn't know how old he is. I actually thought he was like 50 years old or something because of that email, like who mature email, very formal, very formal, very formal, very formal emails.
but we were friends in Facebook and his Facebook doesn't have picture at all. So we are friends with our counterparts. I'm not sure if you have tried before. Like if you worked before on offshore companies that you'd be friend your counterparts , outside Philippines as well. So, so, , we add each other and some of my, some of my counterparts as well, he added me before, like we were friends for five years in Facebook without any interaction.
And then one time I was already in the different company back from that business trip that I mentioned earlier. So. one time he messaged me on Facebook that, Hey, Glee, I'm going to the Philippines. They want to meet up just like, it was just like a colleague type of meet up because We kind of worked together before, so we, met and then oh my God is so good looking love at first sight, it wasn't really, , yeah. I didn't really thought about anything, but I was so surprised that he was like, he wasn't 50 years old or, , I thought he was just like a, , like a very mature person, but he's like, not really the same age as me, but quite a bit older than me, but not what I've expected.
So like, oh, this was my counterpart before. I didn't know. So we talked, blah, blah, blah. We had lunch and nothing was, there was no romantic kind of thing at that time. Quick question. Was it just the two of you or, yeah, because so he met with me because I was already in the different company, but he also met, , the, the people in that company.
So, cause he was there for a business trip, like a company trip. Oh I can. Yeah. So, and then we met that then I was already in a different company, so, oh talk about plans that even talk about I want to go to Australia, blah, blah, blah. And then after that, there wasn't any, because I know I'm not gonna meet him.
after this. then I mentioned about like, I want to try Dubai as well, blah, blah, blah. And after that we met on another day to give him a tour of Cebu because he worked in finance before we approached in the finance department, but now he kind of like moved in a different department and some of the people he worked with before are not there anymore.
So in the end, like I had the duty to, , like show Cebu, the official tour guide. Yeah. The official tour guide at that time, which was funny because. in the Philippines, when you are with a foreigner, people assume that the foreigner is your boyfriend or the foreigner pays for the taxi.
, I don't know if that's also in Manila. Yeah. Oh definitely in Manila as well. And of course be, I think it's, it's very Filipino. It's very Filipino anywhere we go, well, you are with someone with a foreigner and then it's a guy or the opposite sex. We will always assume that it's there together and the person or the foreigner is the one with the money and paying for it.
Yeah, exactly.. And for that time, because I'm the tour guide. And I'm sure it's not their custom, , like paying for everything. So I paid for everything. Like I paid for the taxi and the taxi is not a metered taxi. It's like, if you're with a foreigner, like, oh, it's "pakyaw". I don't know how to it's not a metered one, but like you pay for the package. It's like per day?.
Yeah. Like for that, for that hour or B it's not the tour, like you just hire a taxi and then instead of putting it on meter, I have to haggle with the taxi driver because Kuya, he's not, he's not my partner, anything I have to pay for this. So don't give me a, high rate they do that for foreginers
They do that. Yeah. that was really a stressful tour in of haggling with the taxi drivers. so we just met at that time and nothing romantic, but then that was our second day of meeting, I guess. He said that like if we will be living in the same city in the future, would you want to go out with me?
So it's like, Ooh,
that's just the second day that you've met him. Yeah. Like the personnel meeting. Yeah. But we were like work emails before, so yeah. Yeah. So that, but that was the second time he saw, he saw me. So, but like , like your reaction is like, I don't think we're gonna meet anyways. Ah, like, , you're just smiling and stuff.
So I didn't really expect that after a few months, then he got a job offer in the same company, but in Dubai then he. Do you, do you like to move to Dubai? There are a lot of Filipinos. He noticed that there are a lot of Filipinos. Yeah. Community in Dubai is really big. I would say it's becoming the second or actually third.
Cause of course America and then Canada and then Dubai. There's so many Filipinos in Dubai. Yeah. So he said like, you wouldn't be homesick here. And that was also the time. as I mentioned earlier, that that was after coming home from a business trip in the UK I realized that there, , I want to explore the world, blah, blah, blah.
So that was really the time. And I also told him about when we had lunch that, oh, I want to go to Australia. I want to go to Dubai, try it out. So it was really like like falling into place at that time. So I said, oh, okay. Maybe this is an opportunity for me to go to Dubai. And, my job also was also quite good at that time.
, I had some trip in the UK. I have to, , do the training to my colleagues and stuff. But after a few, I think after few months I have to resign because love,
but that time, , like it's like, okay, I'll try it out. There's also like a potential. Love life, but when I went bonus bonus thing, yeah. It's more of career and then a start of a new beginning and then the love. Yeah, exactly. And I didn't tell my parents the reason why I went to Dubai, so I just thought I just wanted to, I just, I told them that I want to go abroad and there was like, there was kind of a not good relationship at that time with my parents, because prior to meeting my husband, I had a boyfriend who.
It was really good relationships with my parents. but he cheated on me. So even though he cheated on me, the parents still like him. I don't no, for some reason. Oh, I see. I don't know if you had heard stories about that, but that was really awful. So I kind of felt bad, I guess, towards my parents, because they still favored that guy.
So it's like, okay, I want to go out to go out of this house go abroad. So that was really like the pivotal moment. So then I went out of the Philippines. So that was when, when I arrived in Dubai and stuff like, you will be happy. Same with what you said. Like I was happy and then excited and then, , going down to depression.
So I was really like depressed, like most of my time there. Yeah. even though there was Filipino community in Dubai, it's not really the same. I it's not, it's not. Yeah. It's and it's quite not the same kind of people that I hang out with as well. I feel there are a lot of people, it's a mix of people, people who, I don't know if you have heard about some stories about this, but there are people who are quite nosy as well.
Right. So they always say, oh, who is your boyfriend? And I didn't want that kind of talk I couldn't really, so that was like very, very depressed for the two years. Stayed there and then that's why we hastened the process of immigrating to Australia.
No, but here I wasn't really depressed but I can also relate, like, I don't have people to go out with especially because we immigrated when we are older, we don't have friends here. That's true. I guess that's, that's something that's very common as well for us, for, well, at least for those without, family established family with kids and all that, you kind of look for your own crowd, exactly.
How about your careers? Like you moved to Dubai for both of your careers, cause he had a job opportunity. Did you also move to Australia with already a career opportunity or did you start from scratch? Start from scratch for both of you?, yeah. For both of us. I don't know they're in Canada, but here in Australia, although they are very diverse as well.
The, they still prefer Australian experience, even though you have of experience abroad. I don't know for in Canada, what's your experience. I guess there are jobs that require you to have experience here first, I think that's one thing that has already been. Raised for so many years now, because one of the qualifications for you to be approved for immigration here in Canada is that you have this certain experience or job, like for nurses, you have this nursing experience.
I'm not a nurse, sorry, I don't, I don't know the exact terms, but you have to be of this level of experience. But when you come here, they don't see that they don't accept you immediately. So you have to study again, work again, to have experience, to be able to actually get the job that you wanted. So that's one thing that we have always been asking the government.
Well, not me particularly, but the, , the nursing association the, it was in the news. They were asking why they had to go through the process of. Learning again is studying again. And, , starting from scratch when that was one of their qualifications, that's why they were approved here. it is also a diverse country.
I mean, I definitely would say that Canada is really, one of those countries that would be good for immigrants. Cause we have like a diverse community in my job alone. We have so many nationalities, different ethnicities. So but for big jobs, like those with professional jobs, you really have to go through the process again of studying and studying.
Doesn't really cost for free. You have to expensive student loans and. Number of years. I don't really know how many years for nurses, but I, I do know for teachers they're like two years, at least two years for this particular subject. So they migrated there. They have Oh, yes, you have to have a certified I education something here because my cousin was actually a teacher in secondary, in the Philippines and that was one of her qualifications for immigrations here.
So when she moved, she wasn't able to get any position, even a temporary position as a teacher, as her previous job, she had to study again and had to go through being a temporary or substitute teacher until she gets approved for a permanent one. And actually even that the permanent position for those that in the actual town or for the city were not given to them.
Did not have the full four year course of education and background. they were only offered positions outside the city. It's very hard. I know, I know. is it the same with Australia? With us? I I think maybe for the nurses, but I know some one is a nurse, but she studied here first, the bachelors.
but she grew up in the Philippines and then for university, she moved here for the study. So I don't know anyone, but I think it might still be the same, like doing that two year course. For us. We, our finance they always require CPA. So I am CPA in the Philippines, but because it's Philippines, , they don't really acknowledge it.
I also have a different qualification or us certification, but they don't accept that recognized. So they only recognize Australian and UK certifications because UK, because Australia is also somehow yeah. Like, like UK or something like that.
So our queen is a queen. So Canada but still yeah, that cause at that time when I took this U S certification we thought we would be going to Canada or Australia. So we had that two options. But after visiting Australia for vacation, when we were still in Dubai, we like Australia.
So we told ourselves to, okay, let's just not go to Canada. Let's just process Australian paper. So now I'm also studying their CPA, which is But I still got a job which was good maybe it's different in each profession maybe nurses I don't know why it's like that, but for us finance, maybe it still depends on the companies because the actual advertisements actually really say a preferred CPA, blah, blah, blah. But I still apply, apply, apply. And then got lucky with the interviews and then the company as well, my current company people are very diverse and they like it that way. So I still got like a normal accountant job, even though I don't have the CPA here, but I'm working towards it, at first it was very hard for us. And with regards to the nurses that are offered outside the city I think it was their visa. They know like, is there a specific visa for them to just be on the job or outside the region also? Sure. most of the people that I know were actually Part of the family and friends program.
So it's more of a province. Cause as part of that, I'm not sure about the nurses, because we had that training, right. So that the intro to immigration, something like that for new immigrants.
So most of the people that I was with were nurses. So, but they were also part of the program that I was included. So it's more of the family and friends thing. So I'm not sure if they have a different one, but I think now they are more focused on work related. So it's very specific to the jobs that are required in the province because in Manitoba right now where I am.
They don't really need that much people anymore. So they're getting more strict, I guess, with the qualifications. And I don't know if the family and friends type of immigration program is available. I don't think so. Cause it's been years. So Family and friends. So before you can sponsor your friend.
Yes, actually, yes, that is true. Actually, a friend of a friend was sponsored here. Well, my brother's friend had a son and the son was sponsored here, I guess it was presented as he was friends with the son as well. So because the son was like, oh, cause my brother's friend. Older.
So the son was roughly bit older than me, so somehow closer to my brother's age or something like that. actually one of the good immigration programs before there was a lot of people moving to this province because that's somehow like the, opening was here in the province.
But now that we have so many people moving in, they're getting stricter. And now the opening is actually, I think, in Nova Scotia, another province here. So that's where if you are interested to move to Canada, you might want to check out Nova Scotia province because that's where you can. Well, I wouldn't say easily, but I guess that's where you can get an opportunity to move.
And so, coming from Manila. did you have some experience as like, oh, there's no nightlife here? Uh, yeah, that, that, that added to the depression guess that was actually my life before, when you're young, you experienced nightlife, you experienced hanging out then malls would be like so crazy.
They have everything that you wanted malls here usually are just one floor. And then the biggest mall that we have is only two floors. And it's actually there are brands, they're big brands, but there are. Bigger brands in the Philippines. I would say definitely the malls are better when actually after moving here.
And when I went back to the Philippines for vacation, I really wanted to check out the malls. I want to experience the life before, because this is really province. It's a province life it's way province, sir. He was in a word it's way more provincial than what I used to be in the Philippines, or even Bicol it's, it's totally different.
So it's not the same as with Brisbane. Sorry. What's the capital of Australia. Again, that's Canberra. It's Canberra, but really like live there. I mean, some people live there, but. It's not Sydney. I thought as well before, but it's
the most popular Sydney and Melbourne, but yeah, they are capital cities because most of the government offices as well is in Canberra. But yeah, so there are, seven states here in Australia. So for example, Sydney is a city in new south Wales state. So it's a capital city of new south Wales and the capital city of Victoria state is Melbourne.
And then the capital city of Queensland state is Brisbane. So, but if you compare this
yeah. In a way we're the same. Brisbane is the, even though it's a capital city in Queensland, it's a small city. I would say it's a small city, but it's still good. But the thing with me as well was because I lived in Dubai, the luxurious Dubai for three years, I was like exposed to Dubai mall the mall luxurious. Yes. Like shop till you drop kind of thing in Dubai. I would say that Dubai, it's not that expensive in a way, because before, before 2018 they don't have VAT before, but in 2018 they introduced Vat but it's just 5%. Philippines is 12%. Yeah. And you don't have income tax in Dubai as well.
Can I go there?
You get your gross pay and everything. also insurance in Dubai is covered by your employer. Same, you don't have to pay for it. And also the visa is covered by employer. So the only downside in Dubai is that you are like a permanent resident, as long as you have work.
But if you're out of work, you like 30 days to find work, otherwise you need to leave the city or the country. So that was the downside there, but it's really luxurious. you would say that. it kinds of depends as well, but in general Dubai is a very luxurious city.
I want to visit it, but I don't want to live there. I think because it's, it's very stressful in terms of work actually, especially in finance. Oh yeah. Work. because most people are not permanent. , they live there for work. Right. So it's very competitive . The people are very competitive with each other and the point that you have to always watch your back, , like, so, and then also you have to work longer hours. I mean, I don't know for others, but in finance because we are like office, so it's not really per hour, and the culture there is quite different as well.
So, but aside from the work it's very, it's a very nice city, especially if you live in the international side of it. So there is like a old Dubai and new Dubai, and then we lived in the new Dubai area. So it's so yeah, it's so nice. and then coming from Dubai to here as well, we were so surprised that the malls closed at 5:00 PM.
I don't know about you. 7, 7, 2.
Yeah. So malls close at five and one time when we've first arrived here or I think it was a vacation, I forgot. Cause we went here first for vacation 2017. We went to a different city in Queensland called sunshine coast the malls. They kind of like, they have like a siesta..
I don't know. Cause they close at three. So it's like, we were very hungry. We cannot even eat McDonald's because it's closed 3:00 PM. And how long? Like an hour? Yeah. Yeah, like an hour where they have like a break two to three or something.
Was their. Time off break time, and then they get back at four and then close at five or something. And some shops even.
Well, is that also only for Brisbane or is it the same case with Sydney? Cause there's these more, the popular city, right. Would that be easier there? Most also is just the same, the one I mentioned in the sunshine coast. So it's not the capital city, but somewhere in Queensland as well. It's more of a beachy kind of vibe city.
Cause it's near the coast. Brisbane is more inner city. So, but yeah, it's like, how can we shop right when we're still working and then how, how people do it is like they just shop on like lunchtime or online. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I like that. So that was like the malls in the city are also like, same as what you mentioned.
One floor or two floors, or even like in an old building that was refurbished to be a mall or strip malls as triple is like it's just a row of stores. Yeah. Like one of those big ones where you have like all the stores in just one building, this one is like, most of the stores that we have here are in the line.
So for example, you have Oshkosh or all the other, and they would be outside. They would have their own doors and all that. It's called a strip mall. I mean, that's a common theme. It is. , us Filipinos. I think this is one of the issues that we have because we come from a country where the mall is like our heaven.
It's been almost 24 hours. Right. It's one of my struggles actually. I'm not used to 'em online. Are you? Because in the Philippines, we don't have online right before the pandemic, everything was, you have to go to the mall, you have to go to a specific store here. It was like, they go with the online thing.
They have Amazon, they have so many things online. So I guess that's one reason why they don't really care if the mall will close up this time, but here's is actually way, way worse. Yeah. Yeah. It's so it's so frustrating. Yeah. even a weekends? Yeah. Even on weekends. So yesterday I wanted to buy something and then I said, okay, I'm just going to buy today because it's already closed.
So yeah, that's, that's really the struggle as well. with online, I learned doing online in Dubai, even though it's because Dubai was really like, you have online, you have everything, you have shops, you have everything. And even if it's Ramadan. Yeah. actually when I was in Dubai, like I was shopping a lot, blah, blah, blah.
And I didn't have like family responsibilities at that time, back in the Philippines it was really shop till you drop and everything. But at some point I said to myself, oh, I want to move to Australia because at least my shopping habits will be, , lesser or less temptations. Exactly.
Because there Victoria secret there is quite cheap as well in Dubai. So it was really good that the sales are like. So good at the malls. I heard that the malls are so huge in Dubai and I think also in Abu Dhabi, but Dubai I'd say is the best. I mean, there was a big mall. Yeah. There was a big shopping habit, but Dubai mall is really like, yeah.
Shopping heaven. And Idon't know, for some reason you can afford. Branded things there for some reason it's expensive, but you can still afford it if you have like a decent job in Dubai. but here it's like, even though I have a decent job, like I still can't afford the, of the expensive ones.
because the rent here is also high and stuff, same, same. This is actually something that most of us in the Philippines don't know about. It's that when you move to a different country yes, the salary compared to the Philippines is higher, but the expenses here. So I rent here is almost cost of one salary.
I have a decent job. I have, well, not really a huge, but it's more than the the basic pay, but I still cannot afford like expensive things because half of my salary is just for the rent.
Yeah, it's the same.
Hey Zestie.Stay tuned next week for another set of funny moments and anecdotes with Marian of Tita talks. Please note that these are our personal experiences and may or may not reflect the overall situation.
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So what funny story when you first arrived in Canada I don't know if I would say this as funny or. If humiliating, but
Bonnie Hewitt, the founder of Posh Notions, an upcycling business based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania shares her pivotal moments from being diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome, among a lot of her chronic illnesses, to founding Posh Notions and winning the Two-Minute Drill contest in the US.
Bonus content: How She Met Her (Famous) Mentors!
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Transcript:
Glee: I'm curious about how do you approach a mentor? how did you approach David Meltzer? How did you approach these mentors that you have.
Bonnie: And then in 2018 you were mentioning the arthritis. And so 2018 was great. I met Gary V at the beginning of 2018. And anybody knows Gary Vaynerchuk. He's amazing if you don't go, find him on social media. And it was really my first introduction into entrepreneurial, realm. Like I was like, there's people that talk like this they're they they're motivational the inspiration.
I was just like, so taken aback because I had never heard people really talk like Gary V and Tony Robbins and, you know, Lewis, Howes and David Meltzer and all of these different people. And I'm like, wow, this is amazing. So later in 2018, I found out the arthritis had moved into my spine. I had been having a lot of spine pain and I honestly kind of panicked and went to my rheumatologist and said to her, okay, I want to try something medication again, because the nature of the disease is to deteriorate.
So it starts breaking away. Parts of your joints, your organs. It, it attacks them and I already have something also called the general disc disease, which means the same, same thing, different reason that my spine is basically falling apart.
And my youngest two at the time were two and five. And I was like, I want to be able to walk and run and do things with them. So if medication is my only option right now to at least slow this down while I figure something else out, let's do this. And I ended up on something called Humira. And so biologic, injectable.
So I had to give myself a shot every two weeks. And for anybody who's terrified of needles that's me right here. But I felt like it was my only chance to slow this down. Because what it does is it basically shuts off your immune system. So it stops attacking you. And it went horribly wrong. For lack of better words, I was expecting it to be like my saving grace.
I had a lot of hope for, it working and I took a nosedive health wise. I stuck it out for six or seven months. And then in 2019, I met Evan Carmichael, which is also pivotal because he was another person in that realm that I got to meet and boosted me up. And I still actually, I'm very involved with a lot of the things that Evan does.
But I decided after meeting him and, and making all of these plans and the Humira is not working. And I'm trying to, trying to stick it out. because, so I felt like if maybe if I just gave it one more month, one more month, like it would start to work and I would start to feel better and that wasn't happening. So I think it was like March or April, 2018 or 2019. When I finally told my doctor was like, I can't do this anymore.
It's not working. She was trying to get me to stick it out longer. And I was like, no, I'm done. I said, this stuff is wrecking my life. I'm miserable. I feel like I have the flu all the time. I have zero energy. Like I was worse off on the medication than I was on. I'm not sure if it did any good with my spine or not.
But otherwise it just, it wasn't worth it. Like the trade off wasn't worth it at that point. So yeah, that's what happened with that. 2019 is also when I met David Meltzer who was my mentor and now my friend. And had such a tremendous impact on my healing and my life. It's just been incredible.
It's been almost two years since I met him now and the change in myself and the way I view my health and the way I view the world, the way of you, lots of things is so much different. And I, I just, I can't thank him enough, to be honest with you. He's just been, he's been a tremendous, tremendous help and support and guide and just everything.
But yeah, that, that all happened before COVID and Etsy and everything for me, I was still working on posh notions at the time. I remember meeting David for the first time. He agreed to mentor me for a month. And my first phone call with him. I was like, I want I'm working on this, on my unbreakable campaign.
And I was like, I'm and I'm trying to write a book and I'm trying to build a business and try it. And within like five minutes, he was like, you're not going to do any of this stuff until you get your health in order.I like I've never met this man in person. Right. I'm just talking to him on the phone.
And I was like, wow, if you could gather all of that 3000 miles away, and you're willing to talk to me, like, I bet listen to what you have to say. And that it was third part of my healing journey was meeting David. And I guess third pivotal part in my healing journey was meeting David.
And going from like, I have to figure out a way, knowing that there gotta be a different way to finally finding somebody that was going to help me find the way I I don't think I. The impact he was going to have at that point, because when he gave me that advice, it wasn't what I was looking for.
Obviously, like I was looking for business, right. I wasn't looking for that, but it was like the universe delivered and I was like, Hey, I'm ready to listen. I'm ready to hear this now. And over the next several months, he helped me focus on things that either I hadn't thought of before, or did not put enough focus into, so like sleep, for example was one of them.
He helped me with not only just the notion of getting better sleep and how restorative sleep is supposed to be. And I think we all know this intellectually, but we don't think about what really goes into a good night's sleep. Right.
Glee: I can totally relate with that.
Bonnie: Yeah. And like, we all know. seven, eight hours of sleep, but, there's so many things that go into actually having restorative sleep, not just hitting the pillow and waking up in the morning.
So that was one of the biggest things that he helped me with, like right up front. And it just snowballed into, to all of these different tips and tricks and mindset shifts. And I would ask them these questions and the way he would explain things, it was like, wow, I hadn't thought of it that way.
the first, like six to eight months. It was very, very eyeopening to me because
it, supported my idea that I was the one in charge and in control of myself. And then I had no control over it, what anybody else was doing. But on top of that gave me the practical tips
to deal with things that I was struggling with. Right. So yeah, that, sums up 2019
Glee: I'm curious about how do you approach a mentor? how did you approach David Meltzer? How did you approach these mentors that you have.
Bonnie: So I've just recently learned this maybe in the past six months or so that there's decisions that I make super quickly are my instinct or my intuition talking to me and the ones that we kind of let drop, belong and drawn out
Glee: It's like analysis paralysis.
Bonnie: it's like, when you ask yourself this questions, the first answer that comes to you is probably the right answer. But a lot of times we ignore it because we don't want to listen to that, or we don't want to do whatever that thing is. So for me, so meeting Gary V is a perfect example of that.
I decided on a Thursday kind of half joking around on Twitter to drive to New Jersey, which from here is a good, it's like an eight hour drive. Because he was doing a book signing. I had no idea how I was going to do this. I didn't know how I was going to get the money to do it. And we left Friday morning and it was amazing.
I faced so many of my fears that weekend and did so many things that were so out of my comfort zone. Now Gary, isn't a personal mentor of mine. Like I don't know him. or anything. I just, I follow a lot of his content. I've spoken to him via. Social media a few times since then, but Gary V was very much still in the hustle mentality when I first met him.
And I realized very quickly that the hustle culture did not work for me and for my body. And then I was not able to do that. And I had to figure out how to do things my own way. But he has since shifted, which I love about him, that he has just shifted more into to mindset and doing what's right for you, et cetera, et cetera.
Evan was another one that was very spur of the moment. So I was supposed to do my Humira shot. The, I did them on Friday nights on think it was another Thursday. I found out he was going to be here in Pittsburgh on a Saturday. I was like, oh, there's no way I'm going. I have to do my shot. And I can't do that.
And then I decided I was going to wait and delay my shot a day so I could go meet him, bought the
tickets. Yeah, I Just, delayed it a night and took, it when I came home after seeing him. but it was very spur of the moment decision. I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to get my ticket.
My husband's like, why are you going to pay $50? Go hear somebody speak. And now I think he understands a lot more now. And I'm like, I was like, you don't understand who this guy is. So I ended up going, ahead. And I went down and met him and it was just amazing. Like I said, it spurred all of these different things in me.
I had so much confidence after meeting him and so many ideas, the creativity was just kind of flying out of me. But what I did with Evan was different. After meeting Evan, I started engaging a lot with him on social media. He was doing a lot of lives on YouTube. I got really engaged in his culture and a lot of the other people that were following him.
I started providing value to like his other followers. So if he wasn't alive, people were asking questions. I would try to help the best that I could. And I really immersed myself kind of in his culture and in his ecosystem. what I did when I went down to see him here in Pittsburgh, I made shirts for him and his wife and a couple of other people basically this, circle of success kind of thing.
And he had all these different things on there. So I made a few of those and I took them with me and gave them to him. And he's very humble. And he was very grateful that I made, gifts for him. I wouldn't have had, he ended up coming to Cleveland, which is only a couple hour drive from here.
And I ended up making shirts for the whole team and driving out to Cleveland. so he had broken his neck on tour and he couldn't put his hoodies on anymore. So I bought it as zip up hoodie and made him a zip-up hoodie with his logo on it because he couldn't get anything here in the states because they're from Canada and they were on tour.
So I kept in contact with these people and providing value and trying to do things it'd be helpful. With David, it was a little bit different. I learned about David from Evan's book Your One Word, and then I read David's book.
And then I found David on Instagram and I tried to go live with David one time on Instagram. And for some reason my, phone wouldn't connect. So I reached out to him and the DM. Yeah. I reached out into and he is such a humble giving, genuine, like he will talk to anybody. He's just so giving of everything that he has, like, he believes so much in abundance and the power of receiving and we went back and forth and conversation a little bit and he ended up telling me about, he had this thing where he would mentor anybody for one month for free.
And then if you decided to mentor with him afterwards, or you didn't, you know, whatever. So I was like, I'll take it. It took a few weeks to get everything set up, but I just, I ended up building a relationship with him. And that's really what most mentors, at least in my experience like these people want to help people.
they're out on social media and they're being public with their knowledge, they want to help you. That's a lot of them just want to serve, that was a really long answer out of say, like ask, like, I know that sounds short and sweet and simple, but you also want to make sure you're trying to provide value to them because a lot of people, you, go in and you say, I need this from you, or I want this from me or you do this for me.
And they have no idea who you are. Most people aren't going to say yes, right after the bat. But if you're showing up in their lives and you're showing up in their, free coaching sessions and you're showing up on their social media and you're showing that you're, trying to give value and trying to be helpful, that you're appreciative all of those different things, more likely you're going to get, a Yes answer. Also a lot of these people have coaching programs that they have different things built in. To what they do.
Glee: Yeah. Thank you for that, Bonnie, because I think most people, yes, you mentioned most people have that thinking that, because you're a mentor, you're just going to give me, all the things that I need, but it should be like a two way kind of thing. Right?
Bonnie: exactly a hundred percent even with David now, I still you know, ask him, can I help with this? Or I know somebody's birthday is coming up. Can I make something for that? And it's not even like a, trading. Like it has to be a genuine
Yes. To give something to someone without expecting to get something back because that's not, not a relationship that's just trading.
Like there's, there's a difference.
it starts with what your intentions are.
Bonnie Hewitt, the founder of Posh Notions, an upcycling business based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania shares her pivotal moments from being diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome, among a lot of her chronic illnesses, to founding Posh Notions and winning the Two-Minute Drill contest in the US.
Bonus content next: How She Met Her (Famous) Mentors!
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Transcript:
Bonnie: I didn't even realize that that should have been a wake up call.
The shift that I've made from how sick I am to I'm healing in a couple of years is phenomenal because unfortunately there's a lot of people that get the condition than I have, and it's completely crippled them.The
Glee: Hey Zesties! Welcome to the gleeful talk show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero within. I love hearing stories about overcoming adversity. It really inspires me to look beyond the gray skies and see. That there is a blue sky behind it.
Our guest today has been diagnosed by a chronic illness, which left her at temporarily paralyzed over time. She has been diagnosed with numerous chronic conditions. She was previously an accountant, but because of her circumstances, she was unable to come back to the corporate world. But instead she built a world of her own turning illness to business to greatness.
Please help me welcome Bonnie Hewitt. Hi, Bonnie. Welcome to the show.
Bonnie: Hi, I'm so happy to be here. I'm excited to get started.
Glee: Yeah. Thank you? for coming in the show. So, I've mentioned earlier that you have a business right now. It's called posh notions. And I am very curious. What was your life before having posh notions
so Can you help us understand a bit more on your life story before Posh Notions?
Bonnie: Yeah, so I started Posh Notions in 2016, so I've quite a life built up before that. So I had a semi-normal childhood, had some trauma here and there. Labeled high, strong at a very young age. And so I ended up having my first child pretty young. I was 21 when I had him.
He's 21 now. So and then I had my daughter a couple of years after that. And at that point I had been, actually been in a car accident. I actually completely forgot about this, but I was in a car accident and I was told I couldn't work. So I decided I was going to go back to school. And I got my degree in accounting.
Only because I knew I would be good at it. Not because it was like my passion or anything. But I did that. And I was done with school. They were, I think like five and three. And I worked in the field for a few years. I worked for some corporate banking and some private small accounting firms and in 2011 So my husband and I had separated and I was a single mom at the time I was raising both my kids.
They were nine and 11. And out of nowhere I got really, really sick and ended up in the hospital temporarily paralyzed, like you mentioned, with a condition called Guillain-Barre syndrome. And it was basically like having a stroke and it was what I call the first part of my healing journey. I saw, like I said, I was a single mom.
I was working from home at the time. I was an accountant. My oldest is on the autism spectrum. So I was managing all his care and really just trying to do everything by myself and not taking good care of myself, pumping a lot of caffeine. And I tell people, it was kind of like my body's shut me off, like a surge protector, because had I kept going the way I was going, I probably wouldn't know.
Gone much further, I'd lost a ton of weight. I was definitely underweight at the time and I remember coming home from the hospital and trying to go back right back to work. The next day online and realized, realized very quickly. So yeah. having this illness, like I said, it was like having a stroke, so I had to learn to walk and talk and eat and type and do all, all my gross motor skills, fine motor skills that were gone.
My reflexes were gone, so I kind of had to start from scratch and I was in the hospital for a few weeks. And when I did come home, I, all I wanted to do was get out of the hospital. So when I got home, I just tried to go right back to my life and was like, oh, and kind of like, that was a blip let's move on.
And really, that's not what ended up happening. my body couldn't hack it. my cognitive thinking. Severely impaired. I couldn't remember things. I couldn't learn new things. So working as an accountant, doing bookkeeping and, you know, taxes and stuff, it was really difficult to try to do these things because I couldn't focus.
I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't really make sense of a lot of things. So it was shortly after that maybe a month or two that I ended up actually being, let go from my job because I couldn't do what they needed me to do. And I got better. And then I hit like a plateau to where I wasn't getting any better anymore.
So that was like What I should have been kind of a wake up call and I tell people it really wasn't a wake-up call. Unfortunately, I just kept trying to go back to my old life and, you know, take care of my kids and go back to work. My husband and I have reconciled. And I just, this didn't allow it to be the teaching experience initially that maybe I should have.
So that was 2011. I had my third child in 2013, about a year and a half after getting sick. And you know, was taking care of a new baby trying to do things to bring in a little bit of money. I was trying to flip on eBay, do some reselling and whatnot.
And then in 2016, I got pregnant with my fourth child, very unexpectedly. He is our miracle baby, for sure. And. I knew that I had to try to do something cause my husband was working, but our fourth child was on the way we, financially we're pretty strapped. And I got a cutting machine for my birthday which cut various materials.
So like paper and vinyl and different things and started to make decals for my husband's the team that he was on. Just trying to see if I could bring in a little bit of money. And then later that year around Christmas time, a good friend of mine asked me if I could make a t-shirt for her son. And I was like, I don't know if I could give it a shot.
Let's see. And really that was the first time I had made a piece of apparel and that was the very beginning of learning how to make custom apparel for people. And a few months after that was when I ended up launching posh notions, making custom apparel for businesses and organizations, custom pieces for individuals.
So yeah, that's kind of how I got to launching Posh Notions.
Glee: yeah. I wanted to go back a little bit on about the the syndrome that you mentioned. So was it because you were just not taking care of yourself at that time. That's why you had that syndrome and multiple chronic illnesses that at that point in time.
Bonnie: So the Guillain-Barre was kind of like a kickoff and it's a rare syndrome. not taking care of myself, made me more susceptible to it. So people sometimes get it after like being sick with the flu or they get other things that can set it off. I think just not taking care of myself was kind of like the catalyst or allowed me to, to be susceptible to this thing.
What happened after
that was like, I was diagnosed with multiple conditions after that. So once at one point they said, I didn't have Guillain-Barre. One doctor said there was no way that I could healed that fast from something. So they decided that I didn't have it. So there was kind of back to the drawing board and the doctors were bouncing between trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me.
Because when I came home, I was riddled with pain. I was fatigued. I was sleeping 16 hours a day. I couldn't walk up my steps. I had to crawl. I couldn't lift up a pot of water. So all my strength was gone. So they initially diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. And then after I had my third child, they told me I ended up having rheumatoid arthritis.
And it was like, once they started giving me these diagnoses, they just kind of snowballed. And it was like, well, now you have this and now you have this and now you have that. And now I have this whole list of things That are all, auto-immune conditions. And I kinda just, I don't, like I say, I ignore them, but I don't really focus too much on when they give me a new diagnosis.
Cause it's really not changing anything about how I feel. And I'm already doing all of the things that I need to do, with my diet and exercise nutrition, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, like all of these different things. So like I said, I just had two new diagnosis diagnoses last year and I was like, okay, now what?
Like, I'm just going to keep pushing forward and taking care of myself the best that I can, because really that's all I can do. The medications haven't worked for me, we could talk about that if you want. But yeah, it's been, it's been an interesting journey the past. It's been almost a decade now, so it's an interesting journey.
Glee: wow. Very, strong woman, indeed. I can't imagine, like, what was your, biggest motivation to keep on going.
Bonnie: So I think initially it was, I'd wanted to get the hell out of the hospital. Right. I just, I didn't want to be there. And then most of it centered around my kids because I'm I still am the, like the default caregiver my husband and I, like I said, reconcile, but I do like on the mom, And so it had a lot to do with, with them and being able to do things with them, being able to do things for them, but showing them not to quit, but at the same time, I have always just had a push forward mindset. I've had so many things that have happened from childhood.
And so now that it was always just kinda like, I was always onto the next thing. And now I'm actually, it's funny because I'm actually unraveling that now I've been reading a lot of books and kind of realizing that not letting myself feel things and kind of just plowing right through everything that happened.
Wasn't necessarily the, the healthiest way to do things and kind of learning healthier coping and mindset techniques to push forward, but not to have to keep relearning these same lessons over and over and over again. Cause that's, that's what ended up happening to me. A lot of the things that were happening to me were very closely related.
And it was like, I just wasn't getting it. Like I said, that first part of my healing journey should have been a wake up call. So stuff just kept smacking me in the face. Like, Hey, are you going to listen? Are you going to listen to me? It's like, no, no, no. It wasn't until 2017 that I finally kind of started to listen and say, okay, I kind of, I think I might know what's going on here.
I didn't even realize that that should have been a wake up call. And so five, six years later, like it didn't Dawn on me that like, Hey, maybe this isn't the life that you're supposed to be living. Maybe you're not supposed to be doing all those things. Maybe this is a redirect and you're supposed to be going in this direction, but you're fighting it, you know, that kind of thing.
it's been amazing. These past three to four years have been the best part of the whole thing. To be honest with you, lots of learning.
Glee: so you mentioned when you were just starting out with posh notions and, when you were sewing masks, I read that during the COVID time and you, you also had arthritis arthritis that moved your spine too.It was, really another setback with when you even just started. So how, was that experience?
Bonnie: so I'm going to start in 2017, because this was really a pivotal moment for me. So I have mental health history that precedes my physical health history. A lot of depression, anxiety, a lot of trauma. I'm not going to go into specifics started in childhood and that preceded getting sick physically getting sick I had been seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
I was on probably a dozen psych meds. And up on this one down on that one, on this one, off that one, like it just, this medication rollercoaster for years, same thing happened with when they diagnosed me with the rheumatoid arthritis, so that would have been 2013, a few months after my third child was born.
I refused medication at first because I was nursing. So I didn't take any medication for that. And so he was two years old and the same thing happened with that. I was taking this medication that made me sick. I took a different medication, had a large reaction. One of them wants to far as who I actually had a psychotic breakdown.
Like I was clinically psychotic diagnosed with psychosis from this medication and had to stop that immediately. I kept having all these experiences with medication. And finally told that doctor, my rheumatologist, like let's just stick with the prednisone and it's the only thing that's not bothering me.
It helps just enough for me to function during the day. And I didn't want to take anything else. 2017, I had an an interesting visit with my psychiatrist, where I had been going in there complaining month after month after month for, I don't know how many years about frustration and anger and rage and depression and anxiety, all these different things.
So he keeps, like I said, up in one night, taking on away, what am I replacing it? On this rollercoaster and this particular day, it was, it was an October, 2017. And I remember this very vividly cause like three different things happened all in a very short period of time. I had surgery and I saw him and I broke my ribs all in a matter of like a month.
But I went to see him. I was telling him about this like unexplainable rage that I was having. Like I was getting angry about the dishes and about, kids not picking up. Basic mom stuff, but I was getting super angry and I was frustrated because I hurt and I was tired and I kept having to do these things.
So all this was kind of cumulative and he said, well, it could be this one medication you're taking. And I don't mention that name when I talk about this, because I know it helps lots of people. Well, and I, just looked at him because I had been taking this medication for 15 years and I have been telling him the same things over and over again for like 15 years, I was like, I'm done.
I quit. And I never went back to see him. I guess I quit all my meds. I am not recommending anybody do this on their own. I spent the next month or two months tapering off because I'd been on and off so many different things. I knew how to take her off the medications. I knew what to look for. And that day.
I actually just realized this just recently, like I took my power back that day. I took the responsibility for my own wellbeing and my healing that day. And that was really the second part. I call it my healing journey because it was the second pivotal moment where I was like, nobody is going to be able to do this for me.
Nobody knows my body the way I know my body, the doctors are experts of medication, but they're not experts in my body. They're not feeling what I feel and all of these different things and decided that I was going to figure out a better way to do this. Or at least something better than what I had been dealing with.
Glee: Yeah. exactly. when you, have entered this Two-Minute Drill, I think it's, a contest in the states cause I'm here in Australia and not very familiar with it. cause this was one of the, big things that happened on your, business how it kickstarted more So
could you give us a bit of overview, how, it went.
Bonnie: So before, I posh notions is making t-shirts for businesses and organizations, mostly and working with David and mentoring with him and March, everything shuts down. So there's no need for what I was doing. But at that point I had a couple of different people come and ask me to make custom masks.
And I'm like, no, I don't know how to sew. I have no interest in sewing. And then the third person came and I was like, I believe in the law of three. I was like, I have to at least attempt this. And I was talking to David. I was like, you think this is something I could do. Do you think this would work?
And he was like, absolutely. So that was an April and a couple of weeks after that. And in a couple of weeks, I learned how to sew on a broken sewing machine and some vintage materials and some t-shirts and opened up my Etsy shop and did fairly well and was working with all of these vintage materials.
Cause at that time, getting supplies was near impossible and super expensive. So my mom was going to all of her friends that didn't sew anymore and was kind of bringing me boxes and boxes of materials, because they were selling elastic for like $4, which is normally like 10 cents.
So that's to give you just a frame of reference, it's like a, I dunno, like a 4000% markup for something like that, something crazy. So she's bringing me, I was, and I'm falling in love with all these vintage materials and I'm making all of these new things out of this old material, and I'm just loving the whole process of making skirts and pillows and all of these different things.
I'm learning once I learned how to sew I just wanted to make everything. So later in August, I was so in really late one night and all sudden popped into my head. Like, I wonder if I could build a business
bonnie_hewitt_aka_posh_notions-2021-6-25__20-5-22: upcycling
Bonnie: And I scribbled down some notes and went into private coaching session with David again, a couple of days later.
And I was like, do you think this is something that I could do? And of course he gives up. Absolutely. Okay. So then, and it kind of just sat there the idea while it was still sewing and doing things, but I didn't really know how to take the next few steps in building this business that I wanted to build.
So I just kept writing down all of my ideas and kind of keeping track of them. While at the same time he was doing two minutes drill contests on, I think like YouTube or Instagram, Where the idea is is you have two minutes to pitch your business idea and they've got like four or five contestants or whatever, and the best pitch wins.
he's got his own criteria about, what the best pitch means. They decided to take it to global TV. So he starts talking about it. In our, private coaching sessions and on social media and whatnot. And I kind of hinting around and asking questions about it, but never really seriously thinking that I was going to do this because I didn't feel like I had any business doing something like that.
Like, I didn't feel like I belonged. I didn't feel like I had what I needed. Like I didn't have this huge business. I didn't have NFL backers and, you know, million dollar contracts and all these things that these people I'm listening to pitch had, but I was still interested by, by the whole thing. in late October, early November, we were in a private coach coaching session.
And he's telling everybody, like, if you haven't signed up to pitch to, compete you need to get your, your applications in. And that means you Bonnie. And like calls me in front of the whole group. And I'm like,
okay. I was like, I guess I have to do this. So I went ahead actually waited three more days, but then I went ahead and filled out the application.
It's funny because I was still thinking like, I'm just going to do this because I told them I was going to do it. Right. Like, I'm asking all these questions, I'm honest, at least fill out the application. I had no idea what to expect. And in the application it asks you for your target audience. And I'm like, I don't know.
I've been trying to figure this out for like six months. And all of a sudden it came to me and I typed it out. And then it asks you for like a mini pitch, like a short pitch, Again, I'm like, I don't know when all of a sudden it comes to me and it was like, it was like the universe delivered.
Like I finally, said, okay, I'm going to do this. It was like, the universe gave me exactly what I needed in that moment. And I submitted the application. I was like, all right, cool, I'm done. Let's go. I don't have to worry about this anymore. And I went to sleep and didn't think anymore about it. And a few days later I got an email saying that they accepted me and I'm running around my house screaming.
My husband's looking at me and said, what are you talking about? I'm texting my friends. And they're like, what are you talking about? Look, I'm going to be on TV. That's all you need to know. I will explain the rest later. And then I had to write a pitch and writing the pitch. It was super interesting. the only thing I was focused on at that point was not embarrassing myself and David and just doing the best I had.
Like I never, in a million years would have ever thought, like, I didn't think I belonged there, but alone. Was I going to win something like this? It was just do the best you can. So we don't embarrass anybody. And so right. My pitch and I'm practicing, I recorded myself like 400 times during this pitch to get the timing just right.
And the day comes and our power goes out and we have no power, like a half an hour before I'm supposed to log in. The power comes back on and we've still got no internet. And I'm like, alright, I don't know, universe do your thing. I was like, I'm going to get finished, getting ready, asked my son to keep an eye on my computer.
I was like, it's either going to happen. Or it's not like I did the best I could. And getting here about five minutes before I was supposed to log in the power camp or the internet and back on. And is it recording something like this for TV is a lot of standing around and I got to listen to everybody else's pitches and I'm like, well, that one was really good.
And that one was really good. And that was fabulous. I'm listening to all of the constructive criticism or feedback, and kind of make mental notes of these things. Like I said, these guys have this one guy had an NFL support, like people that work for the NFL backing his products, wearing his products and my turn
bonnie_hewitt_aka_posh_notions-2021-6-25__20-5-22: comes
Bonnie: And I give my pitch and I'm like, again, I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, I'm done. Okay, cool. I just gotta stay in here and wait for them to tell me that, finish up and do the questions. And then, then I'm all done. And I listened to the last couple that went after me go and it dawned on me that I was the only person on the show that hadn't gotten any negative feedback or any like constructive criticism or anything like that.
And I was like, wait a minute. like, did I actually, no, there's no way I've pulled this off. So the producer comes on and he goes, Ken, everybody's giving their pitches. And whoever has will be the only one that pops up on the screen and everybody else stay tuned because we have questions. We want to ask you some standing there.
And it's like, all of a sudden I see my face pop up and I'm like, I'm try not to freak out and scream because my family's downstairs.
Glee: of the camera.
Bonnie: I'm like, and I was like, you keep saying, I was like, staring like this, trying not to. Freak out on yeah. On TV. And they come on and they, rehash the pitch and they congratulate me and I'm doing a standard is facing.
Thank you. And thank you. Like I'm trying not to cry. And but it was funny cause I had to wait up here for like another hour and a half after that, before I could go down and tell my family. So I'm just kind of standing here with them. Okay. Okay. Okay. Like trying to process what just happened because it's not fully sinking in and I go downstairs
finally and I tell it was crazy.
It was funny. I actually, at one point, cause my, my internet connection was so bad. My I don't know if you got to watch the show or not, but the video was so pixel. Yeah. Like you couldn't really see me through a lot of it. So they asked me to rerecord and every recorded like four more times and it wasn't working out.
They did end up using the pixelated video. So it's on it's on Amazon prime. It was on live on Bloomberg TV in January, but stuff on Amazon prime, if anybody wants to watch it, it was a seasoned one episode three. But it was so funny cause I went downstairs and my eight year old son is like my biggest cheerleader and I go out and I tell him and he's jumping up.
Then I saw excited. My husband was like, congrats. And And I go outside and I must have completely lost my mind. Cause I went on social media and made a video and like blabbed to everyone that I won. And I wasn't supposed to tell anyone because it didn't air for another six weeks or seven weeks or something.
I got a call from the team and they were like, you need to take that down. And I was like, okay. My mistake, I wasn't thinking straight. I was so excited and it's funny now, but I was done. Somebody likes terrified for three days that they were going to disqualify me. Right after going through all of that, I was like, see, I screwed it up.
I was like, I should've never did that. Like you know, that negative self-talk started creeping in, like, what were you thinking? You should have never done that. It all worked out. It was fine, but it's just funny how even without somebody saying something to you, sometimes our mind makes stuff up.
Right. To tell us that we're not good enough, we don't deserve this, that we don't, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all these different things. So I know that's something that I've definitely struggled with. The majority of my life. And I've been working really hard the past, like probably like year, year and a half to kind of eradicate that.
So
Glee: Yeah.
I can, I can relate to that as well. I have a similar thing in very negative about myself and all that. It's, it's pretty hard to take it out. Like if you've been living with that mentality over the past, like the whole of your life, right. It's pretty needs like maybe strong will to be able to, slowly take out that negativity.
Bonnie: Yeah. You have to do a lot of replacing. for me, one of the techniques that I use is called negative habit loop triggers. So basically when you have a negative habit and it's on a loop, so you're telling yourself this stuff over and over again, I use that as a trigger.
So to kind of explain that, if you're constantly telling yourself, you know, I can't do this or this isn't gonna work out or whatever, those negative habits are the triggers for replacing with positive. So now what I try to do is when that starts, I use that as a, triggered it to switch to something positive.
Like I got this, like I was using an example. I was helping a woman with anxiety and I was explaining to her, she has kids, I've obviously have four kids. And I was telling her how, at one point it was really difficult to get my youngest two to go to bed. And it was just a constant struggle. And I would come up the steps multiple times and I go, I can't do this.
I just can't do this anymore. I can't do this. You know what I'm saying? This to myself, I can't do this anymore. And finally, I had to flip it to when I would start to say that was, I got this. It's going to be okay. They're going to lay down. Even if I didn't fully a hundred percent, believe it all the time.
It was still better than because saying I can't, I can't, I can't was this self-fulfilling prophecy where I would end up having a meltdown. I they'd be crying. I'd be yelling and like really wasn't handling the situation. Right. So replacing that at the very least kind of neutralized, then the negative self-talk that I was having.
And eventually I was able to completely replace that with it's going to be okay, I got this now it's not a hundred percent, it's not a hundred percent for anyone, but it's much better than feeding that constant negativity to yourself. I've actually been reading actually read a few books this past couple of weeks and somebody that's really good at mindset shifts is Gabby Bernstein.
I've read one of her books. And then I read Wayne Dyer book and I'm reading another one of her books all in the past two weeks after that, the fire that I told you about, I was really struggling with fear and having,
fearful negative thoughts. And I had already owned the book. I just hadn't read it yet.
And I was led to pick that book up. two days after we had the fire and I was like, wow, this is perfect timing. Because the title of the book is Universe Has Your Back Transforming Fear to Faith. And I'm like this couldn't be more perfect timing for me to find this book on my bookshelf.
it all has to do with mindset. And also what you're kind of what you're attracting into your life. Because if you're constantly feeding yourself negativity, you're going to be attracting negative stuff into your life. And if you can make that shift, it literally changes, changes your, whole life, your mind, your world, everything like that.
The shift that I've made from how sick I am to I'm healing. All of this just in a couple of years is phenomenal because unfortunately there's a lot of people that get the condition than I have, and it's completely crippled them.The same amount of time, you know, and it's different for everyone, but I'm just saying that I really feel like the mindset work that I've done and healing.
The inner me, not just the physical me has had it played a huge role in the fact that I'm not getting worse. that goes for anybody trying to accomplish anything, whether it's physical healing, building a business, landing, a job, you know, being successful inner voice if it's out of sync, if you're not feeling inspired, if you're not feeling in spirit and, and not religiously just connected to something other than yourself you're going to have a really hard time.
Making positive connections with being successful and all of those different things.
Glee: I love it. your story and what, you're sharing to us right now. It's very generous of you to share your story to us and inspire us because, as you've mentioned, what you experienced was such a roller coaster journey the, I couldn't even imagine it myself.
Like it's really hard and look at what you are now, what you've, you've come out of that. flood or something, you know, that drowned you. So, it's a very inspiring story and I'm very happy to share it with the listeners. And now I'm very curious and wanting to know what's next for posh notions.
What are your next plans?
Bonnie: It's funny. A lot of people ask me that when I first aired and I was doing a lot of interviews. And I found it very overwhelming at that point, because I was like, I wanted to have all these amazing things to tell people, right?
Like I'm doing this and I'm going to do this. And I I've planned for this. And I planned plans last because people are like, you just won this amazing prize and you were on TV. Like always amazing things must be happening for you now. And I did like a backslide, honestly. I was like, I don't know. It was like, I want to do this.
I want to do this. I want to do this. I wanted this. And the show most definitely opened up lots of different things for me. And I got to meet some amazing people and I'm so grateful for all of that, but it wasn't like I had an instant knowing that I was going to do XYZ. However, I still have plans to build this upcycling company.
I am building a a voucher program and to the company that's going to help give clothesto underprivileged kids a lot of kids get bullied because of their clothing, whether they come to school with holes in their clothes, or they're dirty, or they're too small or whatever the case is to fairly simple problem that as a community, we can help many, many, many kids without spending a ton of money.
And it's something that I think will help a lot with these kids. I was one of those kids. I struggled with that as a child being picked on constantly. Another part of that is helping people who don't necessarily want to start a business of cycling, but aren't happy with the other options out there.
I plan to hire people and have all of our up-cycling and product creation done. In-house so that these people who are creators can have a steady income, you know, salary benefits, all of those great things and get to do what they love. Because I really feel like when people are doing what they love, they do it much Nobody wants to sit a job that they hate all day. And not very many people want to do a great job at something that they don't really like to do. So those are two parts of it. the other huge part of it is the fact that we're going to be reducing the impact of the waste that's being thrown out on the environment by reusing materials we're going to be able to, drastically help and cut back on the amount of things that are thrown out.
The one big thing I'm working on right now is we took down, we had one of those easy set pools. So it was just literally a massive piece of vinyl that you fill up with water. And when part of it breaks or something happens, she throw this massive sheet of plastic that can't be recycled into the trash.
And I can't even imagine how many of them they're made to be disposable. Unfortunately. Yeah.
So I sh I cut ours up into sheets and I'm going to make tote bags out of it one way or another. I'm still trying to figure that out. I've been working with it here and there. However, right now I'm really working on myself.
I'm investing in myself, I'm learning as much as I can. We're on summer break here. And so all of my kids are home. Actually. My my only daughter is off at college right now. But I am spending as much time doing what I call adapt and overlap, which is constantly adapting to what's kind of going on with my family, but also overlapping activities. So there are certain things I can do outside that I work on with the t-shirts and whatnot stuff is opening back up.
So I plan to be making more. And working with other organizations to make their branded apparel. but the biggest thing is not stressing about what's next. It's the biggest thing I'm
doing right now, as I had to learn, that was a huge four months of learning to stop stressing and stop trying to constantly intellectually figure out what that is, because once I kind of let go and surrendered, like all 2020, it was a year of surrender for me when I surrendered and let go, all of these amazing things just started coming.
I was still working on things, but I wasn't stressing about how it was going to figure everything out. It was like, I want to do this. And you know, think of a couple of different ways that I would like to do. But it never ended up working out exactly how I planned. It was something, somebody would say something or I would see something somewhere else in the answers.
Like I said, even with the pitch, we're just kind of delivered to me. I know a lot of people don't believe in this quote unquote woo stuff, but I'm telling you it works. it's been amazing. And I'm saying again, from reading these books to kind of fine tune this, but for example, right before summer started, I had been asked that same question and I was kind of stressing about it.
And I was like, I talked to a mentor of mine and I was like, look, this is what I'm stressing out. And the stress was what was blocking me from figuring out what it was that I wanted to do next, because I was just stressing about it so much. And as soon as I stopped stressing about, I briefly mentioned the unbreakable campaign was something I was working on after meeting
bonnie_hewitt_aka_posh_notions-2021-6-25__20-5-22: Evan
Bonnie: I had an interview a couple of weeks ago. And someone in Evan's ecosystem did the interview and he came to me a few days later and he was like, I want to talk to you about your unbreakable campaign. Now I've had this thing on hold for almost two years because I couldn't manage it all by myself.
And I kept saying, when I'm ready, I'll bring it back. and I'm going to work on it and I'm going to have a partner. And this is it's going to work out. The man was literally delivered to me. He does all of the stuff that I don't like to do. All of the technical stuff, all of the backend stuff, all the website stuff, all of these things that were whole email campaigns.
It was holding me up from being able to deliver value to people and to help people, because I was so caught up in those details at that point in time, and now it's happening and we're getting ready. We a rebrand and we're getting to do a relaunch. Like everything that I've wanted to do with this is, is now happening all because I let go of thenotion of
just the stress and that I had to do everything by myself.
But I can't stress enough how important it is to A) take care of yourself. B) to reduce stress as much as possible, see, to have fun with what you're doing.
I know some people are going to be rolling their eyes, hearing me say that I rolled my eyes a hundred times I heard it too. Cause I'm like, how am I possibly supposed to make this fun? But you've got it. Find something. If it's not your job, find something fun every day, something little, even if it's only two minutes, something you enjoy something that gives you satisfaction, something that makes you feel good because that's really the most important part.
Glee: Thank you. Bonnie was, I know that as you mentioned, they are simple steps, but it's really, it's hard to do right. As well, if, especially, and that's why we need people maybe mentors or our friends or people like you, who will inspire us to, and remind us to do these things.
Because if we don't get reminded, sometimes we forget
Bonnie: Yeah. I forget. Which is why I think I led got led back to these books because I was allowing myself to get stressed out by something that I'm not gonna say it's not important, but it was, stressing out because people were in shock. Like people were, yes, people were interested in what I was going to do and I couldn't figure it out.
And I was letting that stress me out. And really all stress is as your perception or perspective about something, that's happened because a lot of other people would have been super excited to have so many ask them what's next. And maybe they had it all figured out and that wouldn't be stressful for them at all.
But my perception of it at that point, and for a few months was when people were asking me if that means I'm supposed to have it all figured out, that must mean that I'm supposed to have it all figured out. Why don't I have this all figured out? What am I supposed to be doing? I don't know. You know, and it was this huge snowball effect of one person's comment or two people's comments made me feel like I was less than worthy.
Right. I wasn't enough. I wasn't doing enough. I wasn't thinking enough. I didn't have things planned enough. Just it was all this judgment that wasn't even there. Like I was making this up in my head,
which again, that's where the unnecessary stress comes from is nobody said any of that to me. That's that was how I perceived their questions.
You know what I mean?
Glee: Ah, yeah. Yeah. I get what you mean? and thank you for your authenticity on, saying that because if I would have been on your shoes, it would be like, I have to think what's next so that I can say, you know, something but telling it right now to us, that you don't have things figured out yet, not everything is laid out yet, not on your head.
So, it's a huge reminder that to everyone that even if you had this big thing going on, it's not that you're a hundred percent knowing what's the next step. What's the next plan. Right? So it was, it was great. Thank you for that.
Bonnie: You're welcome. In another point to that was now talking with you about it. Part of the reason I didn't have things figured out is of, I never expected to win like that. Wasn't part of my plan. So it was like, here you go. Here's all these amazing gifts and these, all these amazing services.
And I'm like, I don't know what to do with any of this stuff that, that wasn't, you know, I didn't have that plan. And I'm so grateful for everything the way that it unraveled, because I got to learn so much. But like I said, I didn't I just planned to show up. I hadn't, I didn't plan to come away winning.
like I said, I'm grateful. I'm not at all. Like, man, that shouldn't happen or anything, but it could've been in my game plan. Cause that's not how I was thinking. And that's another good point too, showing up and having positive intentions and a lot of times universe delivers you way more than you could have ever expected.
Especially when it's not going according to your plan, because that definitely
wasn't mine, you know?
Glee: the universe have bigger plans, well, if we show up right.
Bonnie: absolutely, I'm learning that over and over and over again, but it all comes down to surrendering and, being positive and surrender doesn't necessarily mean what a lot of people think. I think it means surrendering just means to believing, putting your ego aside.
And this is another thing I struggle with is I'm always worried about trusting and how strong I'm going to be, how strong my body's going to be. Am I going to be able to keep up? And that's what this last, the fire and reading these books has taught me, is it's not myself that I need to trust and it's in the universe and the bigger plans that the universe or God, or whoever, whatever you want to call it has for you is going to work.
If you surrender kind of your ego to that. So I just wanted to explain
that because
surrender didn't make any sense to me,
so
Glee: Yeah. Lovely. Thank you. Thank you so much. Bonnie it's so refreshing, to hear about someone saying surrender and not in the surrender terms that we know usually is that I get it. So yeah. Before we wrap things up, I wanted to ask you some few questions, not kind of related to this to the topic more of, on, about you. What are the top five songs on your playlist that you can't live without?
Bonnie: wow. So Because I'm really bad at remembering names, actually. Okay. I'm working
on getting better at yes. I'm working at getting better. I'm not going to say I'm bad. I'm working at getting better at remembering names of things. So I'm going to cheat because I have my phone sitting right here.
Cause I know what songs they are and I don't remember the names of them. well, I like all kinds of genres, but I liked those songs or when you turn them on, you can't help but move. And I don't necessarily mean
like you have to dance, but like I feel low energy, physical energy. So often that if I can turn something on like that, it like instantly makes me want to get up and move and do stuff and get motivated.
So I'm going to look through here.
Glee: Sorry for putting you on the spot right
there.
Bonnie: One is one is Firestarter. I remember that one. by the prodigy right here right now by Fatboy slim was another one. I like super bloom. I don't know if you've heard that song by Mr.
Wives. It's a really uplifting song in my opinion. Watermelon sugar is another one that for some reason, it's newer by Harry styles and then my all time favorite song and not because it gets me motivated, but it's, the story behind it is by the band from way back in the day called Candlebox and I'm going to, oh, the name of the song is far behind.
That's I think my all time favorite song. But the story behind the song and the song itself is really touching.
Glee: And so if you have, let's say there's no, COVID right now. if you have to jump on a plane and go to a place, which place would that be?
Bonnie: It's funny. Cause I always used to say Australia, I always wanted to go to like Australia, New Zealand, which is where you are. Yeah. I think though right now I would end up in California, which sounds funny, but everybody that whose energy that I want to be around. It's pretty much in California or easily accessible from California at this point.
Um, so I think that's where I would go is because of the people.
Glee: great. Thank you for that little game that we had. So where can our Zesties find you and Posh notions?
Bonnie: so I am literally Posh notions across social media. So Instagram,
Facebook, Twitter everywhere and PoshNotions.com and I'm also on Etsy at posh notions. And right now, we are re launching it's now called unbreakable stories. So we're just getting started with the social media and Unbreakable stories is to have people sharing their stories, to help uplift and empower other people going through the same things. So it's kind of to help give them a roadmap and support, especially in the early days after being diagnosed with something like what I have chronic illness, or after going through a trauma we're building basically an on a huge online support system.
So UnbreakableStories.Com I believe is the website. If anybody's interested in checking it out, it's literally, we haven't even announced, announced it yet. So it's just in the very beginning. But it's a really great project and it has our hearts behind it. And it's something that I've been waiting to bring to life fully for the past two and a half years now.
So I'm super excited to be getting that off the ground with my partner, Terry.
Glee: We're looking forward to that one,Bonnie, as well as the next products we're off partial notions. So thank you so much again for your time and for your generosity and authenticity in this, episodes that I'm having here at Gleeful talk show. So thank you.
Bonnie: thank you so much.
We get to talk to Liz Newcomer, the podcaster behind Resiliency in Running. In this episode, she shared:
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Her mental health and fitness struggles when she was in high school and how she overcame it
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How she came to love distance running
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Her tips for runners
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Her journey and challenges towards the London Marathon
Follow Liz:
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Website: www.resiliencyinrunning.com
Tiktok: @resiliencyinrunning
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Transcript:
Liz: Skinny doesn't mean healthy. And I think for so long when I was anorexic, I just thought, the more I lost weight, the closer I was getting to, whatever my weight goal was at the time. You can be fulfilled with life and happy with your quality of life and you don't need to amount it to being a certain, Jean size or dress size.
Glee: Hey Zesties! Welcome to the Gleeful Talk Show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero within.
Another shout out once again to our patrons, zesty Gem Zhang, who is an avid listener of the show. Thanks so much, Gem, for listening and supporting me in the show. I'm truly, truly grateful !And Zesties, before we dive right in, please, don't forget to rate and subscribe to the show wherever you listen to your podcasts. I'm mostly active on Instagram.
That's @gleefultalkshow, but you can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. If you want to buy me a cup of coffee or two, or are you simply enjoy and would like to support the show, please head down to the episode .Notes to find out how. I've also put a Zestie survey on the episode notes so that I'll get to know you guys better and provide better content in the future.
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In this episode, we will learn about developing resilience through running and the journey towards the 2020 London marathon our guest.
She is someone who shares a positive influence to millennials through her social media and podcasts. Resiliency in running. Please welcome Liz Newcomer. Hi Liz. Welcome to the show.
Liz: hi. Thank you for having me glee.
Glee: Thank you. And you love running as evidence with your, activities. I'm curious that when did you develop your love for running?
Liz: so I've running for probably close to my whole life almost. But I've mostly kind of started through playing sports, growing up. My parents just put me through loads of different sports and I stuck with soccer for quite some time, about 10 years. And I didn't really develop my love for running.
I'd say until. Maybe college time. And then I further developed the love for like distance running
at the beginning, kind of like right at the end of 2019, beginning of 2020. And that's just kind of progressed ever since
Glee: Oh, So you were like a sports person before really doing this distance running. when we talked about earlier you mentioned in your also your IG stories that you've suffered anorexia. Suicidal thoughts and depression. When you were in your teens, if you don't mind sharing your journey and how you got out of it.
Liz: Yeah, of course. I think it's definitely hard to put into words. But I think it was a very hard time in my life. And a lot of it was kind of influenced by mean girls. I was bullied and cyber bullied in middle school. So around the time that I was around 13 or 14 and that kind of just carried into.
Poor body image and just really influenced how I viewed myself. And that's kind of where I started spiraling into the eating disorder with anorexia and just not being very healthy and my eating tactics. And over-exercising had really bad mental health and just really struggled with depression and anxiety and at some points some really, really low
points. I was dealing with suicidal thoughts as well. And so I think it was definitely a hard time in my life and something that really I'd say two things really helped me. So one was definitely therapy. And I think that that was it.
was like a therapist that I saw for about two or three years, but she really, really helped me through a lot of stuff.
But also my faith. And I, consider myself a Christian and I think just, that was kind of a time as well, where I kind of like came into Christianity and really felt like I was less alone than I was. And so just really praying and I'm kind of having that as well, to motivate me and kind of helped me view myself in a more healthy perspective and then a more positive way really helped.
But yeah, I'd say therapy and faith really helps me.
Glee: Oh, so this happened when you were doing soccer and all the sports, was it. During that time
Liz: Yeah, I was, I was kind of in high school when everything kind of started going downhill and I was playing on the varsity volleyball team as a sophomore in high school. And I was also playing on the soccer team on the junior varsity team. And so I had a lot of good things going for me. Sports wise, but I was just really struggling mentally.
And so once the doctor basically diagnosed me as anorexic. I wasn't allowed to play sports or exercise for six months. And so I had to stop all sports, stop all running which was really hard being such an active kid growing up. And so I kind of play soccer now. Very casually and like recreational leagues, but I was quite serious about it growing up and then kind of had to like give it up and had a really hard time trying to get back into it.
But yeah,
Glee: that would have been really tough because, if you liked it very much, like you were very active and then also struggling with the bullying side, like it's, I imagine it's really, really tough. And when did you decide that you need therapy? Like, was it someone told you or how was the journey.
Liz: I think it was more so that someone told me it was in conjunction with a lot of other things. So I was,as soon as I was diagnosed as anorexic, I was seeing a doctor like almost once a week, I was seeing a dietician. So like a nutritionist. And then I was seeing a therapist at one point I tried group therapy and I really didn't like it and it wasn't for me.
And so I stuck with seeing my therapist one-on-one and I feel like it was like all these things that were being thrown at me because everyone just wanted me to get better because I had lost quite a bit of weight. At that point
Glee: Oh was just trying to do the timeline, so, but then after two or three years, receiving therapy, then in college days you where like you thought that, okay you're better and you have that positive body image.
Liz: Yeah. Yeah. I had joined a sorority and it was a group of really great girls and very real genuine girls, I'd say. I think there's a very stereotypical idea that people have of sororities and that just wasn't the sorority that I was a part of. And I think that these women really helped me come out of that.
Shell, but I'd put myself in and they really helped me, you know, want to be more vocal about my story. And I think it was within my first or second year of college. I had gone home during Christmas time and I recorded a YouTube video, kind of talking about my recovery and kind of sharing more about all of those struggles.
And it was really well received. And a lot of the girls in my sorority really supported me. My last year of college, I ended up kind of doing like, there's this really special? Like It's called preference ceremony. And it's like during your recruitment process, when you're trying to recruit new girls, but it's one of the last days, And I was one of the two senior girls that spoke to lots of different audiences of women that we had gotten throughout the day about my story, struggling with an eating disorder.
And so I think, yeah, In college, I definitely developed more of a healthier mindset and definitely went into a much better like recovery and then was able to kind of start my more healthy relationship with running again because it wasn't healthy for so long
Glee: And if you would have to tell your younger self, What would you tell her?
Liz: Yeah, I was actually doing another podcast interview and they asked like the same thing the other week. And I think my line was. Skinny doesn't mean healthy. And I think for so long when I was anorexic, I just thought, you know, the more I lost weight, the closer I was getting to, like whatever my weight goal was at the time.
And I beat just became very obsessive with numbers, whether it was calories or the number on the scale. And. It was something that I, it was like the only thing that mattered to me. And then even when I hit my goal weight, I was expecting some, like, euphoric, amazing feeling and it still wasn't there.
And, People telling me , oh, like you look like you've lost weight. And even then I was like, expecting those comments to fulfill me. And those still didn't. And so it was , I was a mounting, everything and all this, hard work I was doing with not eating and over exercising.
And I was like waiting for this moment and it never actually came. And I realized that being skinny doesn't mean. You know, it doesn't bring happiness. And it also definitely doesn't mean that you're healthy because I developed a lot of like underlying health issues with my reproductive system and just.
My gut and just like how my body like digest food. I think it took a while to get back to normal again. And so, I think it's really hard for younger girls growing up with the media and seeing all these skinny models and wanting to look just like them. But but yeah, I think it's just, you know, just because someone's skinny doesn't mean that they're healthy and you don't need to be skinny to be healthy.
You can be like at your weight and you can be eating healthy. You can be exercising regularly and you can be fulfilled with life and happy with your quality of life and you don't need to amount it to being a certain, you know, Jean size or dress size. So, yeah, I think that's what I would tell my younger self.
Glee: great. I could actually relate to a bit of your story because I was also in high school. I was also bullied and everything. And, but, you know, I, I grew up in the Philippines, so it's, it's not really common in our country to be diagnosed with, anorexia for for some reason, you know, We are a third world country, but yeah.
When you mentioned about it affected your reproductive health, I could totally relate because when I was like super duper exercising, like I didn't have my period for seven months and the doctor thought I was pregnant. I was like, no, I didn't have anything. But Totally get it. Yeah.
so, you're currently training for London marathon, which will be happening in October. I if I researched that, right. Yeah, I've seen a lot of. A lot of your stories on Instagram and tiktok that you did also, this running one mile an hour, which is pretty amazing.
And how did you sleep?
Liz: I didn't. But I've yeah, I, I, I probably got a collective like hour and a half of sleep, but I've been it's the second, like, kind of crazy challenge, if you will. That I been kind of doing to fundraise. For Boston Children's Hospital, because they're like the charity team that I'm running with. And so I feel like I'm trying to come up with different like fundraising ideas, but I keep ending up doing these like crazy challenges because I had done one in March.
That's the David Goggins challenge where you run four miles, every four hours for 48 hours. And then this one was a mile an hour for 24 hours. And so I think I just wanted to challenge myself a bit more and see if I could do it. And I did do it, but just, yeah, I did not sleep and I ha I was drinking lots of coffee for 24 hours.
But it was a good experience. what I'm finding with those running challenges and the David Goggins challenge was the first like running challenge that I've done, and. it's really good. Interesting to me every time, how much, like, I feel like I grow mentally because I feel like I go into these challenges saying, there's no way I can do this.
This is like a crazy challenge. And then I think when you're like deep in the challenge, you. Experience all of this growth and you experience all of this just like mentally you're thinking about, wow, like I'm actually doing it. And you're kind of going past what you originally perceive to be your limit.
And I think that that's the issue with. This can be applied to like anything, not just running. I think that so many of us limit ourselves because you think that that's your, glass ceiling of like how high you can go, but then as soon as you overcome it, and as soon as you go further, I think that that's where you start to experience so much more growth.
And then you, stop limiting yourself and you start to, expand yourself and want to reach for higher goals. And Higher achievements.
Glee: that one hour for 24 hours. So it was a charity event with Boston children. Oh, okay. And so I'm curious if. Did you have to consult a doctor for that particular endeavor cause you were also training for, long distance training. if that would
impact.
Liz: no. I mean, I probably should have the only person that I was kind of consoling is I have a colleague from my master's program that was in the military here. I think it was, but he used to be in the military and this was a challenge that he had done. And when I was getting advice from him, for my David Goggins challenge, he was saying, oh, I, I've only done this challenge, but it's very similar and he kind of gave me advice.
But it's a lot of it has to do with like, making sure that your early morning runs, you're not raising your Is it your blood pressure too much, because then it's like harder for your body to fall asleep, even though you don't actually get that much sleep. Like, there are some points in the challenge where like, I came home from my run and I just like collapsed on my bed and took a really quick power nap that I need. Because I think my body knows that I have to be up again, but just like making sure that when I'm running later at night, like at the early hours that I'm not running. at m y full a hundred percent that maybe it's running at like 70%, just to kind of make sure that I can go home and like rest and like calm my body down. so. That My heart's not like beating a hundred miles a minute from like running really hard.
Glee: So after that challenge,. how did you get back to, you know, your normal day-to-day? Did you take a break or are you planning another set of challenges before the big day?
Liz: Yeah. What about a day break? But I probably needed more. I realized that for about a week, my running was kind of like a lot slower and it was because my shin splints were a little bit. They just hurt a little bit more, even though I was foam rolling and stretching and things. So I think my legs were just kind of still recovering, even though I was going through my training plan.
But only as of like recently, probably on Thursday it felt like the first good run since before the challenge. And so, yeah, I think it's, it's taken a bit of time to recover. But I'm definitely open to more challenges. And I think that anything that I can do to fundraise I think is so worth it.
I'm not this isn't a fundraising event, but like next weekend I might be doing a challenge that is in the UK where you do it's called the three peak challenge, You have a team and you go and hike the three highest points in the UK, and then you run down them to get back in the car and drive to the next one.
But yeah, I forget where they all are, but it, that, that would just be for fun, but I think I'm always up for kind of like an adventure or a challenge.
Glee: Amazing. Amazing. And so you've done a lot of distance running and I heard about this runner's high, which is like a brief deeply relaxing state of euphoria. I heard it's not common, but I don't know if you have experienced it. And how was the experience?
Liz: Yeah.
I do experience it here and there. And I definitely experienced it during my trail marathon last year, but not until mile 17 and 18, it was like, from that point on that, like I felt it. And then I was able to like really have a strong finish because it was a really tough trail run.
But like I think yesterday, even I, went on like a nine mile run and I think just because I've, my body feels. Like more recovered from the challenge and I feel more myself. And I, I just love running in the rain as well. And it was raining a bit yesterday, but I think it's, for me, it's a lot to do with like, feeling.
alive and feeling really good running. And I also have a couple of like running playlist that I listened to. I typically listen to like EDM or like house music. And so for me, like that kind of also helps with like the runner's high as well for me. But it's definitely like, it's some point for me, it's always like somewhere where I'm like in the middle.
the run or close to the end of the run where I feel it. And it's never like, at the beginning, sometimes it's at the end when I like get home and I finish and it's like, wow, that was a really great run. Sometimes I'll feel it in the shower, like it's after a run and it's just it kinda comes at really random times, but there's not really like a way for you to like, be like, okay, I really want to get a runner's high today.
So I'm going to eat this thing or I'm going to drink this thing. Like, it really just comes and goes for me.
Glee: Ah, yes. Yes. Thank you for sharing that. Do you have training strategies When you go for a big big run, or how do you protect your knee actually.
I like running, but I couldn't do distance running because my knees so bad now, like really I'm too old, but yeah. what could you advise.
Liz: Yeah, I think it has a lot to do with your shoes actually. And that's something that I used to not really invest in, but that I do now because obviously your joints are really important and what are, what going to carry you for the rest of your life. But I've gone through a couple of different brands of shoes.
And I know that Brooks are specifically really good for supporting your bones and your joints, but I'm currently wearing what are they called? Hoka? They're the Hoka carbon X twos. And they're, they're really good because they have quite like a plush. I don't know, under the shoe, It looks like there's like a bunch of height, but it's really just a lot of support.
And it's, the shoe is specifically good for like long distance and like races. And so that suits me really well. And it's been a really good pair of shoes for me, but I think also it has a lot to do with like, you know, going through and trying different shoes and seeing what works for you, but it is like such a vital part
of running and then like making sure that you switch your shoes. Every, I think it's like 300 miles because you don't want to be wearing the same shoes for like years and years, because it will get worn out. I mean, it's not as supportive anymore, but I'd say shoes are really, really important as well as like making sure that you stretch and like foam roll and make sure your muscles are, you know, actively recovering and having like active recovery days as well.
Glee: And do you also pair running with going to the gym or anything? Like strengthening exercises?
Liz: Yeah. Last year I was, when I was marathon training. Like you have cross training days so days where you just don't run. And last year I did a lot of like Pilates or like high intensity interval training workout. That I really enjoy. And then this year I'm doing swimming and I used to swim when I was younger.
And so it's been really great, but I've also heard that swimming really helps with your breathing when you're running. And so I think it's always good to switch up. Like some parts of your training and making sure that you're not staying stagnant, doing like the same thing all the time.
But yeah, I think kind of like shocking your body as well, and mixing it up with your workouts really helps with I think your overall strength and endurance
Glee: What is your favorite routine when strengthening exercises? what is your favorite exercise to do other than running
to pair it
Liz: Yeah. I've been loving swimming lately, but last year I really, enjoy there's a girl on YouTube called Sarah's day and I've been following her for as long as I can remember, but she's a really cool girl from Australia, who's like a fitness YouTuber and she has a couple of different ebook workouts.
And so I was following those. Kind of like alongside, I think last year it was a 16 week marathon training plan and then she has two eight week ebook plans. And so I kind of just did that alongside my marathon training, but I think anything with.
like burpees and like kind of like jump squats and like, so just like kind of getting your body moving, but it's like almost like active cardio, but like cardio, that's not running.
So I really enjoyed that last year
Glee: And what are your thoughts on barefoot running? I don't know if it's common, but I heard somewhere before way before, they have that shoe, it's kind of like very thin
Liz: Yeah, I've
seen
those.
Glee: What are your thoughts on it?
Liz: I don't know. I think it's, it probably depends on like what works for you again. And maybe that works for some people, but I think for me, I, I just find that I need a lot of support for my feet and And yeah, I think it just really depends because I had a friend a few years ago that was wearing some, Nike shoe that was, that didn't have as much support and it was quite thin on the bottom.
And she ended up developing like Some sort of an issue. I think it?
was like Achilles tendonitis or something, but like something where
it probably had to do with the shoe and like just not supporting her enough, but yeah. Again to each their own whatever works for people.
Glee: Yeah. And so what is your fuel when you do your run days or stuff? Like if you could share,
I think you've shared something on your Tiktok, but yeah.
Liz: yeah.
Well typically before runs I'm not someone who can like go on a run and just not eat. So for me, it has to be like typically it's a banana with like sometimes it's like rice cake and peanut butter. If it's like a shorter run or if it's a longer run, probably like acacao oats or sweet potato.
Always just like carbohydrates before runs. And then again, if it's like a longer run, all that, either carry like electrolytes with me, or I have some like energy gel packs that I'll eat during the run. And kind of just like plan out when I'm going to eat them. Yeah, especially as it gets to anything above 14 miles, I definitely take more than one energy gel pack just to make sure that my body is properly fueled because you can really feel when your body's like lacking nutrients and lacking carbohydrates and energy.
So just, I think making sure that you're listening to your body and fueling it properly is really important to be successful in your training, in your running.
Glee: Thanks for that advice, Liz. And this might be a very obvious question, but what is the mental skill that runners should have, or should acquire.
Liz: I think one of the biggest things with running that I think people may struggle with is that. It's such an individual sport and it's not like, you're not playing in a team or anything. So you're really only relying on yourself for motivation to keep going. And so I think the most important thing is being able to.
mentally be ready for longer runs and like runs that may be harder for you. But I just remember, like, even during my marathon last year, there were points where, I mean, this was like on a trail, on a mountain in Oregon. So I was just like, there were many points where there was no one around me, but like sometimes I found myself.
Talking out loud to myself and just saying like, come on, come on and keep on going. And like, sometimes you have to just like be your own cheerleader. And like, again, that can totally apply to like anything in life and not just running. But I'm really finding that like in life, in general, as you get older, it's harder to make friends and sometimes you find yourself being on your own a lot more.
And so You have to be kind to yourself. You have to be your own cheerleader a lot of the times. And you know, just making sure that you're talking nicely to yourself and that you're not bringing yourself down.
Glee: Yes. And so other than running and fitness, what are you most passionate about? Other than this running and fitness?
Liz: Yeah. I'd say at the moment I am really passionate about my work actually. And that's something that I feel like a lot of people can't say, but like podcasting is and running or not my day job, but I work in like digital health and I work just with really great people on a really great team It allows me the ability to travel throughout the UK sometimes it's just a really good time. And I think that aside from running, as I'm getting older, I'm learning how important it is to work for a company that has a good work culture, good people, culture. And just have people that actually care about you and not only think of you as just like a worker, but as a human being.
And I, really feel like I found that at this company that I'm at now, and they're really great. And I think I'm just really passionate about healthcare as well. I did my undergraduate in public health and then my master's in health management and yeah, just really passionate about healthcare and like patient advocacy and patient centered care.
Glee: Great. And some fun questions what is the most repeated song in your current playlist?
Liz: Oh, gosh, the most repeated song. I have no idea at the moment. But I can tell you that my like top song on Spotify for 2020, that was like the most played song then was Lose Somebody I think by One Republic.
Glee: Lose somebody. I love one Republic, but I think in my head it's like a different song, but yeah. Great. So if you had to teleport to a place right now, what would it be and why?
Liz: if I could teleport right now, I would want to teleportprobably to Beijing because my. Grandma lives in a nursing home there on my mom's side and I haven't seen her in years and I've been trying to get over there and then COVID just made it even harder. But I, do call her on Weechat most Sundays and we chat and it gives me a great chance to practice my Mandarin.
But yeah, I, I can't wait to go back someday soon and just kind of spend a lot of time in China and.
Glee: Oh, great. Great. Thank you so much, Liz for your time and giving your insights here at gleeful talk show, and please invite our Zesties, where they can find you
Liz: Yeah. So the podcast is called Resiliency in Running. And you can find it on most, if not all listening platforms. I come out with episodes every Sunday at the moment. And yeah, I'm currently doing a series Glee said around The London marathon and training for the London marathon, but the podcast Instagram is at resiliency in running.
And then I'm also doing daily running flogs, which is something I never thought I'd do on Tiktok. And then my account. There is also just at resiliency in running. But yeah, those are kind of all the different social medias, I think.
Glee: Thank you Liz, for being on the show.
Liz: Thank you so much for having me.
Award-winning author, personal transformation coach and acclaimed TEDx speaker, Christian de la Huerta shares his insights on how we awaken our soulful power and unleash our inner hero on his book entitled Awakening the Soul of Power: How to Live Heroically and Set Yourself Free (Calling All Heroes), now available on Amazon or on your local bookstore.
We talked about his beginnings, being an introvert, living in a communist country, to becoming who he is today.
He shared his insights:
- What does soulful power mean.
- What are the power struggles and how do we get out of these instances
- How do we stop cheating ourselves and selling out our personal power
-
What does heroism mean in this day and age
-
What inspires him, and more!
Follow Christian: https://soulfulpower.com/
Grab a copy of the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Soul-Power-Heroically-Yourself/dp/1735059005/
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Transcript:
Christian: the worldly power it's always has an agenda. It's always trying to grab something for itself and, and itself, grandizing so it's blowing itself up to seem bigger than it is. Where's that, that authentic power, the power that's inside of us, the soulful power. It doesn't need to prove anything to anybody.
Glee: Hey, Zesties, welcome to the Gleeful Talk Show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero within.
I'd like to give a major, shout out to our zesty, Gem Zhang, who is keeping me caffeinated these days. I hope you and your family are doing well. And thank you so much for listening to the show. Give my regards to your family, especially to the cuties, Yue and Ming who have been awarded with heaps of honors.
So. I'm sure. You're very proud and I'm very happy for you as well. So for all of our Zesties tuning in today, if you haven't already please subscribe and rate the show wherever you listen to your podcasts, it will definitely help a lot. We can also connect on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube. Just search Gleeful Talk Show.
And if you want me to stay caffeinated, you can also buy me a cup of coffee or to just head down to the episode notes, to find out how. I've also put up a zesty survey on the episode notes so that I'll get to know you guys better and provide better content in the future. I'll choose one zesty who have filled out the survey to give one month subscription of Blinkist.
Make sure to key in your email address on the survey. Blinkist offers key insights from top nonfiction books in a made for mobile format. Learn anytime, anywhere. This is not sponsored by the way, but I do have something to share to you before we dive in. This episode is recorded via riverside.fm it's by far the best remote podcasting platform ever.
I've had my fair share of system glitches and bad recordings in the past, but Riverside doesn't disappoint and it always delivers. The great news is that they have a new feature called media board. It works as a virtual sound and video board, allowing creators to insert prerecorded content straight into the live recording session.
Ideal for podcasts, intros, outros, jingles, theme, music, and ad reads. Riverside keeps coming up with all these awesome features. So don't miss out. I do have a coupon code that you can use. If you want to sign up, you'll get 25% discount in the first three months of subscription. Just click on the affiliate link below.
So that they'll know. You've heard it first from me. And of course I do earn a small commission when you use it. I truly love this platform and wanting to share it with you guys. So please don't forget to click on the link on the episode notes and use a coupon code media board 25 upon checkout. Have you ever had moments when you said yes. When you actually meant no? Do you suffer from negative thoughts, low self-worth or self-sabotaging behaviors you might ask glee? How do we cultivate happiness and hero within well as Zesties, we are privileged to be speaking with an award winning author, personal transformation coach for 30 years, and acclaimed speaker who has shared his message of awakening our soulful power to many settings, including the Ted X stage, his book Awakening the Soul of P ower has gained the praises of likes of multiple Grammy award-winning singer. Gloria Estefan, please. Welcome Christian de la Huerta. Hi Christian. Welcome to the show.
Christian: hi, Glee. Thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity.
Glee: Thank you, Christian, for coming on the show and yes, you have this, this, a long list of accolade s and all these inspirational messages that you are giving to the whole world. But I'm very curious to know what life experiences did you have that led you to who you are today?
Christian: wow. What a, what a, what a big question. Thank you. You know, a couple of them that I, think have impacted who I am was, you know, I was born in Cuba, so I lived in a, in a communist country for the first 10 years of my life, which, which is interesting that I'm writing about. Personal empowerment, because for, your Zesties these who are listening here, and most of them realize that in a communist regime, in a totalitarian dictatorial country, the state pretty much owns you and decides everything, what you do and owns all your property and everything.
And also I was raised in a very Catholic family, which is another power structure. That's power over. It's very hierarchical where you're pretty much told what to believe in what's right. And what's wrong. And the only access you have to the sacred is through the intermediary of the church or, or a priest.
So, you know, be that as it may, it's interesting that. I am writing about personal empowerment and what it means to live a heroic life. And, one of the messages of my book is that that no matter what, environment we come out of, no matter what our past traumas that we can always figure out a way to step into our power.
I was painfully painfully shy as a teenager to, the degree that. I was a good student when you know, which is one of the benefits of having been raised in a communist country is that we had a TV, but there was nothing worth watching the programming. Wasn't good. It was mostly government propaganda, some old American movies from, the fifties or whatever it was, you know, w when I grew up in Cuba and.
Oh, I was a good student. So I developed a lifelong love affair with books. And when we came to the states in high school, I had pretty much all A's, you know, like the highest grades, except for my last year of high school of secondary school. I got one B, which was enough to knock me out of the top.
Slot and it, I didn't do this intentionally, but looking back on it, I know that I subconsciously sabotage my grade point average so that I wouldn't have to get up in front of a room of hundreds and hundreds of people and deliver the valedictorian speech at that point in my life, there is no way there's absolutely no way that, that that I could have done that.
And I know that you personally really appreciate this story. As a fellow introvert and, and, and the point of the story is really the only reason that I, share it is because these days, and I speak all over the world, I've spoken on the TEDx stage. I've spoken at many, many universities and churches and conferences.
And so that I know that there is a way that we can overcome our fears and transcend whatever obstacles we have allowed to hold us back from, being all of who we are.
Glee: yeah, actually when we first connected with each other, I was a bit, scared actually, because I'm an introvert, I'm nobody and stuff. And then, this award winning author and TEDx. Speaker, will be on the show. So I was very scared at the same time, but then when I read your book and when I was emailing you in all of these things, I can really resonate with the book And you have this very calming demeanor, I would say to that.
It makes, people talk to you be calm I feel so. Yeah. And
Christian: And I want to ask you a favor, Glee never, ever, ever, ever, ever do. Do do, would you ever use that phrase? I am nobody. Ever again. Right. Because, because that just isn't true. We, we are, all of us were magnificent creations. We are really were miracles of creation. It's just that we have allowed conditioning and, misunderstandings about who we are.
You know, like we, we misheard things as, as children or maybe our parents said something in a moment of overwhelm or they react that and said something to us the wrong way. And we. Misunderstood that we took that on as if there were something wrong with us or maybe our parents got separated or they got divorced.
And as little minds that didn't know any better, we took that on as if it was our fault. Like how could daddy leave, , how could daddy leave us and. didn't he love us. And what does that say about me that am I not worthy of being loved? And we make all these big conclusions about who we are that had nothing to do with us.
There were just nothing but misunderstandings of young minds that didn't know any better and the immense human potential that everyone has. Every one of us, no matter what, no matter where, where we live, no matter what we do That inherent value has nothing to do with that. And, and that's part of the reason that I wrote this book is to help each and every one of us get through those misunderstandings from, childhood and step into our power.
And, and thank you. Thank you for your courage in doing this.
Glee: Thank you so much, Christian and yes, the awakening, the soul of power. So what is the soul of power or what the soulful power mean to you?
Christian: Yeah, good question. You know, most of us have an ambivalent relationship with power. We're conflicted about it. Part of a part of us wants it. Part of us is afraid of it. And if I've spoken to many people that as we get deeper and deeper into what's going on with that. We fear that, if we really stepped into all of our potential, if we really stepped into, into our power, that other people wouldn't be able to, like us, wouldn't be able to accept us and that we made end up alone.
We also fear that we might abuse that we might cause harm. And no wonder we have to do is turn on the news on any given day and witnessed at least one abuse of power and oftentimes many more than that. We've also been. Conditioned to believe that power is a bad thing. You know, we've, we've heard quotes like power corrupts, absolute power corrupts.
Absolutely. But what they didn't tell us about that quote from Lord Acton is that he was speaking specifically about political power. Not. Personal power. And then add to that mix. The fact that we've been conditioned to fear the emotions, we hate conflict. We avoid confrontation. We've labeled the emotional weakness.
When the emotions are in weakness, the emotional is, are not good. They're not bad. They're not strength. They're not weakness. They're just energy. like everything else where it used to be spiritual teaching that everything is energy. Now we know from quantum physics, that it's true. That means the body, the emotions, everything is energy.
Energy can not be destroyed so we can only suppress it. We can only like stuff it. And so when you add all that up together, what happens is that we, end up giving our power away our innate. Inherent power. No one can give to us. No one can take it away. We are the only ones who can give it away. And the sad part is that we give our power away for, sad reasons.
For lame reasons, we settle for less. We, say yes. When inside we feel, no, we play small for an illusion of security. For a false sense of acceptance and for crumbs for morsels of pseudo love, because it's not even authentic love that we're settling for it.
Glee: Yeah, that's really true. Like when you say. You said about like, you just want to be small. I really had those moments, like even now, like I'm an adult and even when I was a child, so there are moments that, I struggled, whether oh do I really want to, like when I started the podcast, I wanted a podcast art that is very subtle, not, eye-catching because I don't want to be seen, but I don't, I want to send a message, but then I realized that it's not really, me.
Like I'm a simple person, but how having a colourful art or something doesn't really mean that. there's a lot of things that went through my head. That's why I changed my branding and all that stuff, because initially I do not want to be seen, but now I have like colorful logos and stuff.
So I have those kinds of power struggles. So how do we get out of these kind of instances?
Christian: and that's another example Glee because when I was researching you and your, podcasts, I couldn't find a photograph about you. And now that I see you on this podcast interview, you're beautiful. You're beautiful. So, so what are you doing? Hiding you cut it out. Like, and I totally get it. I totally, I was, I was that way too.
And the thing is that we've been. Confused. We been conditioned to believe that to be. All of who we are to like really shine that, that is arrogance. And when we think about it, here's a way to reframe that there isn't anybody out there who has the same genetics who has the same set of experiences that make us who we are that make us a unique, like we're one of a kind.
There isn't anybody in this universe or any other universe that has those, genetics and experiences. So if we don't give full expression to that, to that human potential, nobody else is going to do it, and nobody else is going to do that anywhere. So, so when I think about that, when I think about the times in which we live, from my perspective, it's all hands on deck.
the planet will be fine. It might take a few million years, but life will continue in some form. Even you can say the consciousness will continue as it finds itself to, evolve. And, you know, maybe it turns out to be a conscious, enlightened cockroach planet. Who knows. Whether we make it, that's the question, because it's just now that we're beginning to witness whatever it is that we have unleashed on the environment.
So when we look at it from that perspective, and we think about. The potential that each one of us has, like any one of us has the slightest suspicion that we have worked to do that we have a work to do as teachers, as healers, as activists for change like you're doing through your podcast is like, how, dare we play small?
So it's like, to me, that's the arrogance, in these times, it's what we're being called to do is to, shine our breath, our light, as bright as possible. So that we can be that, beacon in the darkness and the fog and that somebody will, at some point might hear something that comes out of our mouth, or they may hear some message through your podcast.
That's going to be just what that person needed to hear that then is going to take them on that journey of really realizing their potential.
Glee: it's very inspirational. And the thing is that as you said, like, we tend to be, playing small and it's like cheating ourselves. Right. It's like yeah. And, you talk a lot about personal power, especially in this book, Not other kinds of power, like political power and such. So how do we not sell out of our personal power? Like when we tend to succumb to those instances that we cheat ourselves, how do we maybe come out from drowning?
Christian: yeah. Beautiful, beautiful question. And so a couple of things that come to mind, one of them is understanding. we started to talk about that there are different kinds of power and that there is a way that we can step into our power. That doesn't require that we push anybody down because that's the problem with these hierarchical power over organizations and structures, know, they require for.
Somebody to be on top and somebody to push somebody down. so that's why good-hearted people don't want to do that. We don't want to abuse other, we don't want to abuse power. We don't want to be corrupted by power. So. Those are the reasons that we tend to give our power away, but it's important to realize that there is a way that we can step into our power, that doesn't require that we push anybody down, that we step on them, that we control them by fear or by force or domination that we push anybody down and put our need to their neck so that we prop ourselves up in fear, powerful and feel powerful.
There's the way that we can step into our power. That is congruent with the good people that we are. And, and so that's the whole, message of the book, like the realizing that there's a difference between worldly power, how the world relates to power and spiritual power or soulful power.
some of the differences, for example, worldly power. We tend to associate power with people who have, money, who are famous, who are part of some kind of organizational hierarchy, whether it's corporate ladder or some kind of religious hierarchy or organizational structure.
But the thing about those powers is that they're all outside of us. They're external. So they're. Here today, gone tomorrow. Whereas the other kind of power that I'm talking about is inside us. Nobody can give it to us. Nobody can take it away. As we were saying before, we are the only ones who can give it away and that we give it away for all the wrong reasons.
One, you know, the worldly power it's, it's always has an agenda. It's always trying to grab something for itself and, and itself, grandizing so it's blowing itself up to seem bigger than it is. Where's that, that authentic power, the power that's inside of us, the soulful power. It doesn't need to prove anything to anybody.
It just is humble and it's about service. It's about making a difference. So think of a Gandhi. Or a Gandalf, from the Lord of the rings and they're simple monastic robes their, sandaled feet, you would never know how much power they hold until it's necessary until it's called for. And when we think about it, Gandhi brought the British empire to its knees.
when it was at its highest point, In terms of global influence on global reach without ever shooting a gun or landing a single punch, talk about power. That's the power that brings about global change and shifts to the power structure in terms of an empire. And that's the kind of power that each of us has access to that gets inside of us.
Glee: beautiful. Really beautiful. And when I hear the word power, it's like equate to being like a hero. So, what is heroism for you in this day And age?
Christian: Yeah. And that's a beautiful question. Because I'm also an unlikely person. There'll be speaking about what heroism is because I was so painfully shy. And that's this book is the first of a series of three books. The title of the series is calling all heroes because I think we're all being called to step into what that means.
what living heroically means in the 21st century. And, up until recently, most of us, when we thought of the word hero, we thought of, you know, superhero with a, with a Cape, a Superman or wonder woman or maybe we thought about. You know, first responders, warriors, firefighters, that kind of thing.
COVID ironically has expanded the way that we think about what heroism is. So now we include in that word, we include in that category are our healthcare practitioners are our doctors, our nurses, our respiratory therapists who literally put their lives at risk to take care of the rest of us. And continued to do so in these times of, the global pandemic and then maybe we even included there grocery store clerks or delivery people who also placed their lives at risk in order to keep the rest of us fed and provided for.
And so what about the rest of us though? We're like, what does that mean for us to live heroically? And so. That's what the, the series is about. Like, how do we step into, heroism? maybe we don't have a horse hitch tot side. Maybe we don't have the armors. Maybe we're not fighting demons except the ones inside our own heads.
and that's what this book is about. What does it mean to, look at our own fears? Like the traumas that we have all overcome to be willing to look inside and to ask the difficult questions, like why do we do the things we do? Why do we get stuck in these patterns of behavior?
In what situations do we give our power away? What are the patterns do we tend to give our power away in, romantic, intimate sexual relationships? Or maybe do we tend to give our power away in relationship to authority figures, parents, bosses cops Military officers, coaches religious figures and, asking those questions are hard or, you know, asking questions, like why do we get into these patterns of relationships that sometimes feel like we're in the same boring movie?
But just with a different actor with a different lead actor, but, but the thing kind of relationship the patterns. and so at some point we have to get honest and we have to get courageous and we have to realize that there is only one common denominator in every one of those relationships and in every one of those power struggles and in every one of those conflicts that we get and it's us.
And so having the courage to look inside. And to understand why we do the things we do and understand what triggers it, what triggers us. It's it's hard work and it's nothing short of heroic. And it is so worthwhile because the possibility, what becomes possible is freedom. And so that we can have the kind of relationships that we really long for, and we can have a life filled with meaning and purpose and a sense of personal empowerment.
So it's yes. It's tough work. Yes. It requires work to go within and it becomes empowering. Everything becomes possible. We can have the lives of our dreams when we're willing to do that.
Glee: yes, very good. Because it needs for us to be aware of ourselves so that we can question those things. Is that.
you, you mentioned because sometimes we can't even question ourselves because we're not aware of it, right.
Christian: it's like, being afraid of speaking in public because of stuff that happened when I was a kid, know, because of ways that I was raised things that we were conditioned by. And so whatever the trauma was is not, and it's not to minimize anybody's trauma.
We've all had to deal with stuff that shouldn't have happened. And that sucked But here's the thing if we're, if we're on a journey of personal empowerment, as long as we're holding somebody outside of us or some system outside of us, responsible for our state of being. Right. if only mom hadn't done this, or dad had been that way, if it had only been for that teacher, whatever they said to us when we were kid or the minister or society or sexism or racism or homophobia, if it only wasn't for that.
Then I would be happy, then I would be in my power. Then it would, then I would have meaning and purpose. We just gave our power away. Right. We're holding something outside of us, responsible for how, for our lives. That's completely disempowering and it's not to minimize. Anything that happened. And it's not to deny that there are systems that are inherently unfair and that some of the systems in the world are stacked against some people.
So it's not to minimize any of that is not to deny any of that. But it's to say that if we want to step into our power, we've got to own that we have a choice. Right that it sucked or things that happened that sucked and that we can count on life, continuing to throw curve balls our way, right.
Things that we just didn't see coming. And things that may not be, even be fair. So, as long as we can say, you know what, that sucked, I wish that hadn't happened. And how will I be in response to that? What am I going to do about that now? Right. That completely reframes everything and allows us to reclaim our power in every single situation.
Glee: yeah, it's truly taking ownership of your life and your actions, right?
Yeah. It's very beautiful message.
Christian: That's it. You just, you just reframe it as no matter what happened. get to decide how we show up in response to yeah.
Glee: Yeah. I'm very curious. what inspires Christian de la Huerta the most.
Christian: since I was a kid, I've always had a sense of mission. Like I always knew that I was here to, help others, to make a difference, to serve the sacred, you know, which at different points in my life looked differently when I was a kid and I was raised in that very Catholic environment.
I thought I wanted to be a priest. And. You know, realized in my teenage years that that religion didn't have room for me. And so I had to find different ways of expressing that desire to make a difference to, to serve humanity, to serve the sacred, to serve the universe. And, know, there's one of my favorite quotes and I'm rephrasing it.
It's from Einstein you can't solve a problem from the same level of consciousness in which it was created. So when I look at the world that we live in and all the problems that we face that sometimes feel like impossible. And when I think about. how are we ever going to dig ourselves out of this hole that we have collectively dug ourselves into?
You know, and how do we even begin to talk to, somebody like from a different culture, a different. Religion, how do we connect with a terrorist that doesn't even think I'm human? how do we begin to, deal with the environmental crisis that we're just now beginning to witness the, effects of.
And so when I think about all that, I just think, you know what, it's the only way out. It's, a spiritual revolution. a revolution in consciousness, a leap in evolution in terms of consciousness. And so when I think about that, I think. what can I possibly do? Me personally?
And I think, you know what, the only thing that I can do, because like, what am I going to do about the environment by myself? It's not much, but what I can do is continue to heal myself and wake myself up and to help as many others do the same. And that's what we can all do.
Glee: Oh, thank you so much, Christian, for all that you do. It's very inspiring. I'm very excited for the next twoseries of the book. When is it coming?
Christian: This first one is out then the next one is on relationships specifically. So like the first one is how does a hero step into power in a way that that is congruent with who we are that is not about abuse or hierarchy or, power over, like how do we do power in a different way that's power with and, so.
The next book is on relationships. Like how does, how does a hero do relationships consciously? How do we approach them in a different way? And, how do we do them in a way that they can work, that they can actually work. That one is probably going to come out in this, around Valentine's of 2022, Valentine's day, 2022.
And the third book is up about life purpose. Like, how do we really step into what we've come here to do at a mission level at a soul level? And how do we stop playing small and hiding our light under a bushel? And so that'll be the year after that.
Glee: Great. And I love the sequencing actually, because it it's like knowing yourself first and then, you know, like relationships with others. And the next one is like the bigger picture. That's how I see it. So it's very
good.
Christian: You nailed it. That's exactly the it's exactly what the progression as I see it too.
Glee: Great. And I have some, a few fun questions before we wrap up, but not really seriousness, are you ready?
Christian: I'm ready.
Glee: Okay, great. Okay. So if you could have an unlimited storage of one thing, what would it be?
Christian: Oh my God. Okay.
Yeah, I guess it would be love, huh? that ultimately what we all long for and what we all are like once he cut through all the BS that's, what's inside each of us and that's what changes the world and not a Hallmarky, you know, airy fairy kind of love, but love is as fierce and the most powerful force in the universe.
Glee: I try to make it fun, but I think everything about you is just very so deep, but I love it. I love it very much.
Christian: I forgot. It was a fun question.
Glee: yeah, most of the time, actually, I tell the guests like, oh, I have a fun question for you, but it turns out the answers are really, really deep, which really is resonating with everyone as well. And especially with my audience.
Christian: Go Zesties!
teeth.
Glee: Yeah. And other than writing and inspiring people, what are you most passionate about?
Christian: I think what we were talking about before about. Making a difference. And you know, I am so humbled that the work that I do, like my retreats, my, coaching, my virtual coaching programs my braiding that it actually makes a difference in real human lives. And I'm glad that I don't have to choose between my soul level mission, my work and having sex, but if I had to choose, I'm very clear of that. There's no question that I would choose my purpose because to me, that is what gives me my deepest, meaning my deepest satisfaction.
Glee: Awesome. And you mentioned about your coaching. This is not part of the fun question, but I just got me curious that what is the most heartwarming message that you've received with your trainees or your mentees in your program?
Christian: oh my God. What a, what a beautiful question. And what a difficult one, because there's so many
Glee: know.
Christian: so many, but here's, here's one that always touches my heart. Here's a woman who was in her fifties. Like a really, high-powered brilliant, brilliant executive like vice president of a, of a multinational corporation at the highest, highest levels.
And yet in her personal life. She had never had a, real meaningful, loving relationship. Of course she'd been had many relationships, but not the, kind of relationship that, she really long for where she could be met by a partner by somebody who was really going to see her and both respect her.
Honor her and also challenge each other to be the best that they could be. And so she did a couple of retreats with me, probably two or three retreats in on the third retreat. She had those realization because of some childhood trauma that she had seen herself trapped in this room and realized.
That she had always given the power away to, to this abuser and realized that she was the only one who could let herself out. And in this breathwork session, in the middle of this retreat, she opened the door out of this room and let herself out. And so that was the culmination of, many healing opportunities that led to that moment.
and that's what I mean by heroism. Like for her to get to that point, she'd had to like remember stuff that wasn't fun to remember. That was really difficult to remember. She'd had to face herself, she had to face her fears, but it was so worth it because. Like two days later, she was having lunch with a friend, after she had that liberating experience where she set herself free and let herself out of this room.
And she was having lunch with a friend and the friend said, Oh, yeah. You know what? I don't know why. I hadn't thought of this, but there's this guy that you need to meet this friend I need to meet. I think you guys are gonna like each other long story short, last year in the middle of the pandemic you know, they, they came down and it was just a very small wedding and we had all been tested.
They married them and it was like just the two of them. And went out her sister and her brother. And that was it. and so she found like the, the relationship of her life, like her life partner, and now they're, you know, they live together beautiful house on a beautiful lake up in a beautiful private lake.
And so, so that's, what's available to any of us when we're willing to do this difficult work of this heroic work, it is so worthwhile.
Glee: wow. That was a very heartwarming, like it's like happily ever after.
Christian: Yeah,
Glee: Yeah.
Christian: well,
and of course, no, no, no, there is no perfect relationship and of course relationships require work. But it is so worthwhile. So happily ever after, but not in those, you know, Hallmarky,
uh,
Glee: A fairy tale.
Christian: In that, in that Disney princess sort of way, it's like, it's
Glee: Yes,
Christian: a different way. It's like we all got to empower ourselves and nobody can do it for us.
And, and there's difficult work that that's heroic work, that we're talking about this willingness to face ourselves and face our inner demons. And to look at these difficult patterns and ask ourselves the difficult questions. Why do we do the things we do? And why do we get stuck in these patterns of behavior of self-sabotage?
And why do we get stuck in these power struggles? There is an answer and there is a way out, no matter what happened. And no matter what happens. So for all the Zesties out there, thank you for, being willing to look inside and, to do the work, the heroic work of empowering ourselves and freeing ourselves.
Glee: thank you, Christian. And please invite the Zesties. Where can they find the book and where can they find you?
Christian: Yeah. And thank you glee for having me on the show and thank you for you, your heroic work
christian_de_la_huerta-2021-6-13__6-59-36: I
Christian: know whether there's to be introverted. And I know the, the courage that it must have taken for you to take on this does facilitating a podcast in you doing that and you stepping into, and you overwriting your fear.
And and saying yes to the call of your soul to take this project done. You're making a difference lives are being changed. So thank you so much for that. And in terms of where to find the book, they can find it on Amazon. They can find it at a local bookstore. They just need to order it. And in terms of getting in touch with me they can go to my website.
SoulfulPower.com. And from there they can access my different social media. And any of the zesty is out there listening. If they get on my email list and it's easy to unsubscribe, if it doesn't work for you, but just for getting on my email list. Now, if they go to my website they'll get. A sample chapter from the books, they get a taste of it. They get some power practices, which are designed to apply the teachings to our lives, to integrate them because we don't need more information. You know, we're all on information overload, what we need is transformation. And that's what their teachings are designed to do to apply them to our own situations, to our own lives.
And then they'll also get a guided meditation and a teaching about trust which is what. What we're all longing for too, in these, times of dramatic change and chaos and uncertainty.
Glee: Oh, great. Thank you so much, Christian, for being in the show and thank you for all the work that you do.
Christian: Thank you.
A simulcast episode with Nerdy Fangirl Podcast, where Ray and I talk about Trese, a Filipino animated series adapted from a comic book illustrated by Kajo Baldisimo and writer Bujette Tan. Ray is a fellow otaku from Cebu, who is currently based in Auckland, New Zealand. We shared our thoughts on the animated series, whilst Ray provided depth and background about the comic book, Filipino mythology, more particularly, the story of the creation based on Cebuano mythology. Stay tuned at the end of the episode where he shares his recommended Filipino authors and their works.
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Transcript:
Ray: And I feel that in the Philippines, we've somehow lost a lot of that connection. Our stories our myths connect us back to that past, connect us back to the greatness that was
Glee: I'm the, bad cop, good cop kind of conversation.
Hey Zesties, welcome to the simulcasts episode of the gleeful talk show and the nerdy fan girl podcast. This episode crosses over topics that would fit the two podcasts. So I thought that might as well do a simulcast. Right? And so today we are going to talk about a Filipino animation series adapted from a comic book series, entitled Trese, which is now available on Netflix . So I haven't read the comics yet, but I'm glad to be talking today with my guest slash co-host, who has read the comics and watch the anime as well. He is currently based in New Zealand, but which is also from my hometown Cebu. Please welcome Ray Don Lim.
Hi Ray. Welcome to the show.
Ray: Hi glee. Glad to be here.
Glee: Great. Thank you for being on the show and yes. So Trese before anything else? We'll try not to be, talking a lot of spoilers. So would that Zesties these will still, we will still like to watch it, but can you talk about what, in a nutshell, on a nutshell, what Trese is about.
Ray: So Trese is actually a mid two thousands comics that was created by sir Butch and Bellissimo. It's basically action detective story that revolves around Philippine mythology. The main character is Alexandra Trese. She is the I believe the Babaylan-Lakambini . Basically she keeps a balance between the human world and the world of the the spirit world, basically in the Philippines.
So the anime is a little bit more action oriented than the comics. Let the guys out there know, but it's beautiful. It's something that we could call our own. And it's something that I on a personal note wish could be a little, could be more mainstream, internationally.
Glee: Great. so you've mentioned about Babaylan-Lakambini, and I know you are also fascinated about Filipino mythology. So for for the benefit of our Zesties, So what is buh-bye land beanie or, I mean, these words might be separate on their own. I think?
Ray: Yep. So ,Lakambini, I'm not entirely sure. But Babaylan that basically priestess or yeah, priestess in our old times and I might be wrong, but to the best of my knowledge Babaylans can only be women and you know, they are our connection to the gods. So. Yes while our pre-colonial times in the Philippines of men did ruleas Datus, but our women also had very prominent roles.
They were basically our connection to the gods. So Trese here is kind of like that connection, I would say to, to the spirit to the gods, especially if you. Read some of the comics or spin-off comics on Trese and definitely also our protector. so.
Lakambini. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure. I'll have to Google that, but to the best of my knowledge as well, it might be about warriors or whatnot.
Glee: so, Trese, is you know, like a detective, but has in the modern times, but it's like also in touch with the spirit world. As we mentioned, mythic logical creatures that was, that was shown there. So if you could share also to us, what were the, your favorite mythical creature and why you are fascinated with it?
Ray: Yeah. So I would say like, well, outside of the anime and thecomics my favorite mythological creature it would be the Encanto. I was tempted to think about Aswangs, to be honest, because that is definitely what we have on the mainstream. But with, with Encantos, they're basically our. Filipino elves.
They are beautiful noted as, in fact gorgeous. And they're very good with illusion and deceptive magic, you know, making you believe some somewhere else. And there are, and here's the caveat than that. There are persistent stories about them even to the modern age, especially if you go into the more rural parts of the Philippines.
So that's why I could say I have some sort of favoritism over them and some sort of curiosity. You know if you've worked in the Philippines. Yeah. Yep.
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. But because interests, I'm not sure where, which one is Encantos. Is that the, the women, the white women with that with Maliksi? Was
Ray: you could
Glee: They
were not really introduced. Right.
Ray: So, um,
Glee: there. Right.
Ray: Oh, yeah. So the way they are wind spirits and I, yeah. So depending on who you ask, They some might be more Puritan and say that they're Anitos which is, really our, our sort of are sort of equivalent to something ethereal or or spiritual, you know?
Glee: Okay. Okay. Interesting. So outside Trese you were already fascinated with Filipino mythology back when you were like, how old.
Ray: Let's just say. Probably in my early teens, like I won't deny the of fact that my, that I've read more about Greek gods and maybe a bit number of other foreign foreign inspired, I would say mythology, but. With regard to Filipino mythology, apart from the fact that we discuss it back in our schools when we were younger.
I was just fascinated when I went to the library and read a bit about them, read about our creation, myths, both firstly, the Tagalog creation myths, which is more famous. It was about Bathala and a giant snake that he had to kill. And then I, of course being the proud Cebuano, I know that I am, I tried to see if we, as Cebuanos or Visayans had our own creation myth..
And lo and behold, we actually do. And one character in that myth actually appears in a Trese comic spinoff. Now I won't spoil much of it. We can discuss that a bit of that later, but yeah, so that's, I, I just really love reading about stories like this fiction and whatnot and the connection.
That it provides to a pre Spanish past. So for the listeners out there, we in the Philippines do learn a lot about our history when, Spain took over our country. But prior to that, not many as known and whenever we have that opportunity or I have that opportunity to learn more about it through these stories.
It's fantastic. And I really love it.
Glee: it's good that you mentioned because you know for me, I really haven't tried to read most of them in the libraries. Were they, were they even there in the libraries? Like I haven't noticed, I only would like read like Nancy drew or something, so it's quite embarrassing, but.
Ray: No, there is nothing embarrassing about reading and expanding your knowledge and enjoying life through books. Thing with me is I gravitate towards those and it reflects on the kind of anime or shows that I watch, which is why I'm very, I'm very interested in the Marvel cinematic universe. Thor and, you know, trying to see the gods and whatnot, and in our own Filipino setting.
I love that Trese anime. I love the Trese comics and I love other books done by our authors. When I have the chance to read them, of course, we can definitely discuss further about these authors or their books rather, but just to name, drop a few books like by David Hontiveros they, the thing with David's books is that he tries to steer away from the mainstream.
And then you, and once you do your own private research, you realize, well, some of these creatures are actually present in Butuan or Bicol those outside of Metro Manila, and it's amazing that way. So these are just some of the sample.
Glee: Great. so can we go back to about the Visayan creation, because I'm not entirely across this topic, so if you could share it to us, what do you maybe read that? You know, at least we would be more appreciative of our creation story.
Ray: Okay. No worries. So just a little bit of background or as well for, for our listeners. Glee and I are from a region called the Visayas , which is south of the Capitol. The Philippines is very diverse. Culturally, if you, if you search that on and our creation myths differs, I would say from the creation myth that most people who might know of.
So in the Visayas who our Supreme God is Kaptan rather than, uh Bathala. So Kaptan in it's all power of course created the heavens And then funny thing with this one is. The thing with our myths is that it's very much the same as I would say Western myths we're in our gods are not perfect.
Sometimes they're not even immortal. You can have them killed or they can die naturally. And this is what happened in our Visayan myths, where in, I believe a Kaptan's grandchildren decided that. We're powerful or powerful bastards. Sorry for the language. We'll let's go take, take on our grandpa. Of course, grandpa being the old powerful God decided to teach them a lesson and kill them.
Funny way to teach grandchildren a lesson. So his grandchildren became the land became the moon, became the sun. In fact it was even noted that the one that became the. The land was the one who led to rebellion. And this is also the interesting part is how we show through our myths that even these gods, again are not perfect.
They might even be as human as us because he accidentallykills his innocent granddaughter who was looking for her brothers. And. Kaptan shot her with, I believe a lightning bolt. She shattered into a million pieces. And when he finally calms down and regrets, what he did he turns her bodies or the shattered pieces of her bodies into our stars.
See, so I see that. So it's like, wow, it's amazing how we are able to come up with these kinds of stories, you
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. And you mentioned that there are some similarities with Western mythology. It's just fascinating to me that, before there's no internet. They do not know about the land outside the Philippines and how. Similar or maybe like, there are similarities in a way, which is like,
Ray: Yep. I suppose it's just my own thinking that we turn into the divine, those that we are not too familiar with or those that we see that we cannot reach like the sun in many cultures, we see that as we see them as gods.
If I'm not mistaken, Bathala uses lightning bolts. And you know, who's a very famous God who uses lightning bolts. So that's how we see things that make us, that keep us in awe that keep us in fear. We see them as gods in the olden days right now, of course we have science, but there's always that beauty of that mysticism and that connection that it gives us to our past, you know, so that's why I enjoy those.
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. It's very fascinating. it's good that you have discovered them because it's not mainstream, you know, like looking at Filipino mythology. And so was this in the libraries before.
Ray: I would say yes. I'm not one of those, to be honest, I'm not one of those guys who during recess would, would grab a basketball and shoot some hoops. Like any self-respecting Filipino, I suppose. I do enjoy the NBA watching, my favorite teams win. But then I always found myself in the library, reading about our stories.
Always tried to find books that cater to that. And I know it's not Filipino, but Harry Potter made me want to take up writing, So I'm one of those guys who love the fictional world. And I won't lie, maybe because sometimes the real world is not always too good, you know?
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. I can really, really relate to
that.
Ray: Exactly. So there is that. any with books, they say you can go visit the world. I'm going to elevate that argument and say with books, you can see beyond the world that you see in your eyes, So again, it just fascinates me and I continue to be fascinated as, as I move along with my life.
Glee: Great. So going deep dive into Trese. what are your thoughts Trese's character?. Maybe thoughts on Trese herself as a character in the comic and the anime.
Ray: Okay. So
Trese as a character. Let's just put it out there for me. It was a really good thing that she's, she's there to represent us all. I would say she's, a great ambassador to our stories and whatnot. And here's something that I've also read with regard to Trese's history.
Now, sir, Butch and Kadjo. When they created a TruSeq character, she was originally supposed to be male. And I suppose a lot of people didn't know that, but then I believe it was Sir Butch who, who said. Hey, why don't we make her female? Because if we keep her male, she'll just be like any other action star.
And, you know, I think that's also good that we as Filipinos, I suppose, as a callback to our older times where we've, where we do view women at such prominence, we give prominence to the woman right now in the modern world saying that yes, our women are great. Yes. Our women can also kick. alien butts or rather demon butt at this, at this point.
Right. So I think that's it. Yeah.
Glee: And what I like about in our culture in general is, you know, like Western cultures have really patriarchal society. I mean, we have that one, but the women is not like far behind, I feel. I feel that Filipino women are are strong, or stronger.
Ray: Yep. On that point, I don't know if this is real or might be apocryphal, but friends of mine, really good friends of mine who shared, you could say the same passion of reading about our history or whatnot did say that our martial arts Arnis, and it's. Pre-colonial form was also used by our women and a reason why a few, not many people would try to raid us is because when they do and they step into the house, our women would just beat them up.
So I don't know if that's true, but I wouldn't be surprised either granting the kind of strength our women have shown throughout the generations.
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. Great. And for Trese Trese in itself in the comics and anime, are they depicted differently or what, or what are your thoughts?
Ray: No, actually, they're virtually the same, you know? So she strong-willed shifts your strict bossing slash "Ate" to really, really rambunctious younger brothers or this case. the kambals, the twins. I know they're Demi gods and whatnot, but you see that there's this brother, sister dynamics.
And as somebody who's. The middle child with an older sister. I know how fun it can be to just mess with the "Ate". And you can feel that sometimes with the kambals and you've got the Trese who just like, you know what, I'm busy and God, I don't want to deal with you guys, but you're my brothers. I love you.
I have no choice, but to love. So I love that. I love that, that it's still there and the anime, you know,
Glee: Hmm. And What about the anime voice acting? I know this has um, this has really garnered some mixed opinions. I feel with netizens, but of course this is our, just our thoughts. So do not bash us guys, but yeah. So what are your thoughts?
Ray: Okay. So first and foremost I will really claim that Tagalog is not my first language. It is a national language. Yes. I can speak it. I grew up in the Philippines, but like most like already, like many Cebuanos knows our Tagalog is not up to par. I would say, so I favored watching the episodes in English and the thing, but the English ones, I think they Did pretty well in representing it.
It was, I would say, it wasn't as great. I should add. It should be, it was serviceable. I like the part where the characters do not sound American. In many cases they do sound Filipino, especially side characters, like captain Guerrero and Lieutenant Tapia with Alex. I know she was done by a Canadian Filipino.
Who, who is well-versed in Filipino as well. I think she may have grew up here.
Glee: Did she?
Ray: I, from the, I'm not sure Did she move to Canada at 19?
Glee: sure as well, but yeah. Okay. Please go on.
Ray: no, no worries. And yeah, so I think she represented it still very well still serviceable, but with regard to the Tagalog dub, I have seen the comments and I have watched at least one episode just to compare now.
the honest truth is that Liza Sobrano the voice actress it felt quite monotonous, her delivery, you know, it didn't have that, the kind of a range emotional range that could have help the, anime. And yes, I know I just watch one episode, but apparently those who watch the full shebang felt the same way as well.
Now, again, for me, From a marketing perspective, I get where the producers were coming from. Yes. As an audience member, I wish theyactually got professional voice actors, but see especially for our listeners out of the Philippines Liza Soberano is one of our, I would say one of our premier TV, actresses currently, and for her to have been brought in on a marketing perspective would really generate a lot of buzz would really get people, especially those, not familiar with the comics to, to come in and have a look. Sadly, it didn't work out as, as good as people might've hoped for, but at least it got the word out there. Do I think changes should be made in the next season if we're getting a next season a season two then yes, I do hope. I think we could definitely improve it on, that point, but again, this is nothing against Liza.
Uh, Maybe it's a new venture for her, right. What are your thoughts on that one though?
Glee: Yeah. So with what you said that the English version Had some Filipino English or the accent might be, I felt not really. They felt, I felt like who was that captain Guerero or I know Anton, the father of Trese, he sounded like Nico Bolzico for me.
Ray: Oh?
Glee: Nico. Do you know Nico Bolzico?
Ray: No, I'm sorry.
Glee: he's not an actor. He is the husband of Solenn Heussaf
and so he is not Filipino at all. Like he's Argentinian, but is residing in the Philippines. So he speaks kind of like that. So like maybe like
Ray: Latin
Glee: Latin American, so, yeah. Yeah. So most of them, I feel that they are more Latin American, which Cause a lot of Filipinos, really are well versed in English. Right. And we have a certain accent English accent as well. I was wondering why they didn't get like maybe professional Filipino voice actors who speak English, English. That's what was running through my mind.
Do you have any other thoughts?
Ray: Yeah. So like I mentioned earlier again, maybe it was just to generate buzz as well. And now that you mention it, maybe Captan Guerero does have that. I would say Spanish twang partially, but I do still stand by saying that it does have, or they did attempt to give it a Filipino flair because.
Filipino or Tagalog, Tagalog English accent. You can really hear it. And to that point of again, voice professional voice actors, I get where they're coming from there. We're just trying to market this and try to make it as international as possible. And if you deliver a movie and say it's an English, and then with really thick Tagalog English accent, it might fall flat.
You know? So from a marketing perspective, again, I, I get where they were coming.
Glee: Okay. Yeah, I get what you mean on that one then, but anyway, but also with my thoughts on, of course Liza Soberano , I didn't actually know. I didn't know anything about Trese,to be honest, anything at all, then it just showed up in my Netflix, you know, recommendations. And then when I saw some, some Instagram posts that, oh, it's actually Filipino, then I started it, but I started it in English as well.
And I didn't know that there was a Tagalog version then when I switched to Tagalog then yes. Again, I was disappointed to the point that, yeah, I prefer English as well with listening on English and the thing with their Tagalog, subtitles is also different with what they are saying.
So it's like, it doesn't reconcile. So, hard though. I was trying to, you know, love that the tagalog version and it's also, the subtitles were wrong or, I mean, not, not the same with what they were saying. And also about yeah. Liza. I actually, if I would hear it, I wouldn't think that it was Liza Soberano on the mic, which is I mean, kudos to her that she was able to, really do it.
Like make a difference with what her normal thing, how was she normally says the Tagalog or something, but still, I agree with being monotonous in a way. And even, my husband was who doesn't speak the Tagalog at all. you know he heard it and he said like, what, what is that? Acting voice, acting like it's so...
It's so dry. Like he was like commenting, like he doesn't know at all anything about it, but he, I was mentioning to him about like, oh, this is Soberano. I know. And she's very popular in the Philippines and whatnot. So, but still, he was even like an outsider who is not Filipino,
Ray: Yep.
Glee: that it's kind of monotonous and It's just, I feel there's a really big difference. Like maybe it's because it's our first time first time, delivering this to international audience. But if you compare it like series, like game of Thrones, where actors we're not, really popular. Like only few actors were popular there.
I think like maybe Cersei or Tyrion. But most of them were not, really, very famous, but then that's how they started. But how Filipinos do it or it's the other way around? I know that's just what I feel, but maybe it's because they wanted it to be marketable in the international audience, which I think again is.
Countering it, I feel because if we want to market it into an international audience with the word international, they don't knowLiza Soberano. I know. I don't know. That's just my thoughts, but yeah.
Ray: Yup. I get where you're coming from and that's, those are actually pretty good points, but we also have to consider that apart from the international audience, we are also marketing it to our fellow Filipinos and they're trying to get it on a wider demographic. Now, if you're trying to get everyone on board, then that's where that name recall really helps.
And. I'll be honest the sad to say sometimes yes, Filipinos do tend to defend to the high heavens our own talent to the detriment of something that could work far more internationally. You know, so yes, there is that point, but I also, we also have to look at it from. Again, from a marketing perspective And of course from a budget perspective, you mentioned game of Thrones. How many millions of dollars can be funneled into that to get people like umTyrion Lannister, Cersei say the actors through those to come in, we don't have that kind of budget. I think so,
Glee: know what I know, what I mean is like, I'm not, not the, the famous ones, but people the Arya and Harrington, they weren't really household names at that
time. So, but yeah, I get, I really get what you mean as well that, for a business point of view marketing point of view. Then it would make sense to have, I mean, Liza Soberano course she is a very pretty face.
So having that version again, but again, but again, she's not full Filipino again and again. So I would have preferred someone. I don't know, the not bash me Zesties or anyone who's listening to this, but I would prefer someone let's say maybe still a household name, like Kathryn Bernardo or someone who is like really Filipino.
Ray: Yeah.
Glee: I don't know if, if we want this to be, I mean, it's not that Liza is less Filipino than we are, but I know you get, you know what I mean?
Ray: I know, I know what you mean. I really do, but also yeah, Kathryn Bernardo, she also does have some name recall. I'll be honest. I don't watch our teleseryes again. I do avoid them. I do avoid them. Um, And I'm not really into drama, but I, again, I get where you're coming from on that end.
Maybe it's yes, let's be honest here. Maybe it's because Liza does have a prettier face and I have seen her try to look like Trese and look, as far as looks are concerned, she does nail it. She really does. And you know, if it was a live action and she presented herself as a, an Alexandra Trese that way. Yeah.
she can do it. Definitely.
Glee: So who is your favorite character in Trese?
Ray: So. I would point out just three. Just to, show you why. So, Amie and Hannah of course. I would say from my perspective, are my favorites, the reason being I'm a guy, so. Listeners, please deal with it. like with most guys, I do tend to be attracted to, to go pretty women and I like it and they're wind spirits they're actually, and if I'm going to be more technical, they're actually, have the ability to make things go really fast.
And you've seen that in the anime, in the comics they present it that really well as well. So from that end, I do like, I do like that. The other one I would say is Talabugsao the God of destruction. Those who let's say family and friends who know me know for my pension, for liking action flicks or, or fantasy anime.
And if anything, they presented Talabugsao really well, violent, strong, all powerful that even the main character truly would have a hard time beating. And I can actually make the argument, especially for those who who've watched the anime. Try not to spoil this, but the way they beat Talabugsao showed just what they needed to do.
Just to be well, to get one up on somebody who is virtually indestructible, right. Because he is destruction itself. Right. So I would say that's why Amie and Hannah for it's the guy thing. If I'm going to be serious radon, then it's a Talabugsao.
Glee: Okay. Do you, you mentioned three, so, the wind spirits are two. Okay. Okay. For me, I think I like Captan Guerrero actually at first I thought like, I was like, so skeptical about him. Maybe at first, oh, okay. He's a good guy, but maybe he's not really a good guy because he's too much of a good police.
But yeah, actually on the sixth episode, the whole I'm trying not to spoil that much, but I thought he was actually the bad guy.
Ray: Yes,
Glee: Like, like he will turn into the bad guy.
Ray: I understand it because if you look at a lot of stories, a lot of anime, especially if you, you mentioned earlier game of Thrones, though, those kinds of twists exists. And let me tell you right now, if you are a reader of the comics, you will see a huge twist. One particular character that I think worked out well in the anime that you were saying, just to give you a clue, you're going to go and say really he's a villain in the anime the clues there.
Guys support our local people, read the comics. All right.
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. Great. Thank you for that. And so any major differences that you can see with the anime and comics?
Ray: Hmm. So with the anime, I did feel that it was more action oriented versus that of the comics not to say the comics didn't have its action. In fact, the books that had Talabugsao so had a lot of, of, of action thing with the. comics though, is that it highlights more of Trese detective skills rather than her fighting skills.
Also in the comics, Trese uses implements to cast her spells rather than just you know, casting it in thin air. She used less magic and fighting and more with her physical combat, I would say. Let's see what other differences again, there are some crackers with some twists. Just to let you know, Hank the bartender in the diabolical, in the comics?
He definitely wouldn't try to dress up to impress a girl. No, he he's not like that. So that's one, that's one thing maybe be with the art style? Well, I would say because in the comics it's really trying, it's say more Filipino. In fact Alexandra Trese looks more Chinese Filipino into comics. And the anime, I get it, that she is drawn that way because we are trying to reach a wider audience.
And secondly it's marketed as an anime, right. And in anime wider eyes mean I would say friendlier has a friendlier tone, whereas a smaller eyes is a little bit more shows a little bit more hostility.
Glee: Mm. Yes. Yes. And good. That you've mentioned that because I wanted to say as well, the costume of Trese, if this was set in the Philippines, it would be too warm.
Ray: Right, right. So I've never thought about it that way, but from
Glee: Okay.
Ray: Yeah, from my research, she would say, or just soft reading. Sir Budj and Sir Kadjo, did decide that Trese is to wear that kind of trench coat with that kind of Chinese style buttons or whatnot.
I know it might seem a bit too hot, but again, it does look cool. So maybe that's the
Glee: Yeah, it is. It is cool. It is cool. It's just, I'm just trying to be nitpicky here. So yeah. And then also I feel that since I haven't really read the comics. How big the eyes or something. But when I saw Trese as someone who has not read, the comics has no clue and is Filipino. I feel that she's not Filipino looking.
That's what I felt when I first saw it. So, and she's also lighter skinned than everyone else there. I feel
Ray: Right. That's you could say that, that
Glee: I'm nitpicking. So.
Ray: No, that's all right. I mean personally, I don't know. I guess I look at Filipinos and we're a mix from dark skin to really light skin that you can't believe that they're, that they're Filipinos. So for me, the way Trese was depicted could be viewed as the modern Filipino.
Like, can you truly say that? Right now, as, as a Filipina, you're a hundred percent Filipino, very few can say that. Personally me I'm, I'm Chinese Filipino looking at you I'm I'm thinking already she has Chinese blood, or might even have a bit of Spanish, you
Glee: Yeah, my great grandma is Spanish. So.
Ray: there we go. So see, there's already that mixture. And Alex, I do feel that she is a bit on the. Upper strata in terms of a class. So definitely if you notice, if you, if you look at the stereotype upperclassmen in the Philippines, they're usually fair skin, usually. All right.
So I think that they were trying to and with a house, like what Trese had, you can definitely see that she's part of upper strata, you know? So
Glee: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Great, great point there. Yeah. I totally agree. So it's just like try and find a nitpick, take something, you know. Also. was, it explained in the comics about being six child of the sixth child. And because I felt that Trese is 13. Why not 13th child of the 13th child?
Ray: Okay. So my mistake so to be honest, it wasn't explained what the mysticism is there on being a six child of a six child is, or maybe it was, and I just forgot about it,
Glee: Or maybe a theory. What is your theory?
Ray: There have been. Western stories about a seventh child of a seventh child. If I'm not mistaken, there was even a movie about that.
And there's some mysticism, there's some story behind that. And I think we might have been bringing that here because certainly I haven't heard about our mythology talking about our six child of a six child. Maybe we just borrowed that element from outside.
Glee: Because I was thinking like, oh, her surname is Theresa. Why not 13th child of the 13th child. Yeah.
Ray: Good. Yeah.
I know now that I, now that I think of it, well, why not? Right.
Glee: Right. And so what are your overall thoughts on this?
Ray: Yep. So my overall thoughts is that it's an amazing anime, especially if you're a fan of Filipino mythology. Yes. It's, it's not perfect. I will admit to that, but for a first time for a fully Filipino story, it does represent us well. And I really do hope that it translate to more sales for, out for Sir Budj and Sir Kadjo's Trese books.
And of course, other books as well, we do have other great authors who do represent us nicely in that, space. And. I do hope it, it revitalizes that interest in ourselves, our interest in our own culture. Now as a Filipino living in New Zealand, I get to see firsthand how the, Maori, the local people of New Zealand are very
connected to their past are very connected to who they are. And I feel that in the Philippines, we've somehow lost a lot of that connection. Our stories our myths connect us back to that past, connect us back to the greatness that was, you know, not to say that we're not great Philippines, they're doing very well where we are Australia, New
Glee: Hmm.
Ray: and wherever.
But again things that are our own things that we can be proud of, things that we can look back and pass on to the next generation. These are things that that are valuable and Trese again, I'm hoping, and our authors I'm hoping could revitalize, you know, that interest.
Glee: And then what mythology authors or Filipino authors that you could recommend to our Zesties?
Ray: Right. So I have prepared a bit of a list, but I'll
Glee: Great. We're excited.
Ray: Yep. So you might want to have a look at the works of Mervin Ignatio. He's a writer for Sky World. It is actually set in a still in the Trese universe. It's a spinoff, but it goes to a different track. You can think of it. That's another universe, So it's like, you know how in Marvel, they have multiple universes? you can consider it that way now. There's David Hontiveros . And he does have quite a few stories like Parman, Craving, Seroks and Takod. Now thing with this is his books are written. He has a unique style of writing, which sometimes does not work for me, but the kind of stories he presents are.
Not your typical bash the enemy in the head kind of thing. There's actually a, he tries to go beyond the common themes and he tries to present stories outside of the mainstream Filipino stories that we know of Craving. For example, is a story about a woman who's part owl that's set in the Philippines.
There's Karen. Another author that I, I did like her, her book called Nearmyth. She's Karen Francisco. So it's like a post-apocalyptic Philippines where our mythological creatures have taken over there's. Another one, Eliza, Victoria. And of course here's something that I dredged up from my closet over there.
And one of the books that I actually brought from the Philippines, it's called the A Time for Dragons. It's an anthology of Philippine draconic fiction. So it's a good way to introduce yourselves to our Filipino authors at the same time it's dragons and who doesn't like dragons, you know, and a lot of it is set in Philippine setting.
Glee: Hmm. Yeah. Great. Thank you for it that Ray. And where can we find, like on the internet these books
Ray: In the internet to be fair. I think Lord Google provides.
Glee: uh,
Ray: a quick Google search would say would really show that a lot of this books that I, mentioned or,
authors that I mentioned. You can go to, if you're in the Philippines, you can go to a national bookstore. You can go to
other big chain bookstores and just go to the Filipino fiction section.
And to be fair, a lot of this books are in English. So if you're like me, you struggle with, you struggle with Tagalog. Then you can get the English versions. If you like to like Tagalog stories, we actually do have good ones. And there was actually one book that I didn't mention. It's called Tabi Po and it was done by Mervin Monzo. And it's like this. Imagine Noli Me Tangere , that's one of a, that's a Filipino book done by our national hero, but the setting it, but a lot of the characters are actually mythological creatures or to be fair, no one character is in an Aswang. There we go.
Glee: Great. Thank you for, yeah. your insights for you. And it was really a very enjoyable conversation. I felt like I'm the, you know, like I'm bad cop, good cop kind of conversation. Yeah. would you like to promote anything where can I are Zesties find you?
Ray: For starters, I'm just your regular Joe. So I don't have any sort of platforms or whatnot. I've just lived life accordingly, but I'm in Auckland, New Zealand. Basically you'll find me on Facebook. Just search my name, Ray Donn Masangkay Lim, if you're not talk about these stuff or just have a. Conversation.
I'm cool with it. But I will promote again, our authors I'll promote that book. I just shown a time for dragons Trese. I will promote that to the high heavens. Again, these are our stories. These are this is our past, this is who we are as Filipinos. And for your international audience, have a look at what we have to offer.
See the similarities that we have to the rest of the world. And you will see that world. Kind of close, in on just how similar All of us can be. Right.
Glee: Okay. Great. Thank you so much Ray
Ray: thank you as well.
Tania Ahkin, a certified holistic health practitioner and hormone coach shares her journey towards holistic health. She shares:
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How she became vegan to being plant based
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An overview of Reiki
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What it means to be mindful
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Her tips on how to be holistically healthy, and more!
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Transcript:
Tania: So Reiki is a universal life force And I know this sounds like really, we re you know, kind of what, what is this? But quantum physics have, discovered that we are energy
Glee: Hey Zesties!Welcome to the Gleeful Talk SHow where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness. And here within, in this episode, we are going to talk all about holistic health and Reiki. Our guest for today is a certified holistic health practitioner and hormonal coach who incorporates Reiki in the practice of holistic health.
She is passionate about inspiring people to live a healthier lifestyle. Please welcome Tanya Alkin. Hi, Tanya. Welcome to the show.
Tania: Hi glee. Thank you. Thanks so much for having me.
Glee: Thank you for coming in the show and yeah, holistic health.
can you talk about what holistic health means?
Tania: Yeah, of course. So holistic health is looking at the whole picture of the person. So not only their body, but their mind and their spirit, because that's what we are.
We are try beings, mind, body, and spirit. And so we combine those three aspects into the healing modality, as well as a few other things like detox strategies, just simply because of the chemical world we live in. You know, soul work as well. We incorporate functional and herbal medicine to help support the body even further.
So yeah, things like that movement, obviously, because yeah. We're not meant to be so sedentary.
Glee: Oh, yeah. Great. And when did you start your holistic health journey?
Tania: Yeah. So basically I guess I've always been into the natural way of doing things. I haven't always been, you know, clean eating and looking after myself.
No, definitely not. But but yeah, you know, it's always been a part of me to do things the natural way first if I can. And so when I had my first daughter, she was around 18 months old and I decided to Really look at the chemicals that were in food, especially packaged food. That that's what I was kind of focusing on.
Anything with numbers in them, anything with names that I had no idea what it was. I started to eliminate from my diet and that also included things that I put on my body as well. Like bath and beauty products. Also things like cleaning products, I just. I got rid of it all and I replaced it with natural cleaner and greener products.
And so after doing that and feeling like I was ready for the next step in my health journey, I started noticing that there were a lot of people going vegan. And I was really curious as to why, because, you know, we're always taught. We get our calcium from dairy and we get our iron from, meat and, and I thought, well, how can they go vegan and still be healthy?
You know? And I looked into it. I literally typed into Google, like, why is everyone going be
that's me?
Well, like, you know, obviously there was the animal cruelty aspect of veganism which I think we all kind of know that part, but, but yeah, there was also all these health benefits. I was very skeptical about that, but but you know what, I took it in any way and tried to keep an open mind and yeah, the more I started researching into it, the more I thought, oh, I'm really interested in this.
Like, it's really sparked my curiosity. And one day I made like a lamb in a sauce for dinner. And I went to go sit down and eat it. And have you ever seen that episode from the Simpsons where Lisa turns vegetarian?
Glee: I'm not sure, but I think I saw some episodes before of the Simpsons, but maybe not that specific episode, so yeah. Please enlighten us.
Tania: Yeah. So, so um, so yeah, Lisa turns vegetarian. You know, on her plate is like this, this piece of meat. And, in her mind, the piece of meat turns into a little lamb and it's, I think it says something, but I can't remember what the little lamb says. And so that was me at my dinner table looking down, and I just saw the animal that I was about to eat.
And I just. I just couldn't do it. You know, it was literally just like that. I can't do it anymore. So I thought, okay I'm trying this out now. So I started off with, you know, a one week challenge that became two weeks. And then after that it became a month and I was like, all right, like, I think I'm doing this now, you know?
But yeah, in that time, my symptoms sort of were all over the place. Again, and, I was doubting whether those health benefits were true, but then once, everything settled because I literally changed my diet overnight, you know? Yeah. I started to notice the health benefits.
Like my skin got clearer and my bloating reduced. And my period pain pretty much just went away where I used to be buckle down on the, couch with heat pack on, one day, every month. And My energy. That was another huge one as well.
My energy increased and I was always very tired and I had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome as a child. Yeah, I did. I started to notice these amazing benefits. And so I just kept doing the research and studying and reading book after book and on health and wellness spirituality as well as personal development.
And and then, mentor, I guess you could say, or someone that I resonated with at the time. Had come out with a coaching certification program and I thought, oh, okay. Not sure if I want to do health coaching, but I love health. And I'm just, you know, devouring as much information as they can.
And I just, just want to take it all in, you know? so I thought, okay, well I'll go for it. And yeah, that's where it all started. And I'm still sort of doing the same thing. I still devour, you know all this kind of health, wellness information. Then yeah, just keep going with it. And now I get to see clients and inform them about, you know, how to eat and how to look after yourself in a different sort of way.
Glee: When you first realized that you wanted to do this holistic health kind of thing, did you converted right away or was it such a long and tedious process for you to do it?
Tania: It actually was easy for me because like you mentioned the part that part that really drove me was the animal welfare, So, when you have something like that backing you up, I think it's really easy to do something. Cause it's almost like you're not just doing it for yourself, but you're doing it for something else as well. That means a lot to you. So. Yeah, to be honest, like no, it, it wasn't difficult for me at all. It was difficult in the way.
I was, you know wondering, and very overwhelmed about what to cook each night and what to have to eat, you know, every other day. and things like my cooking skills had to develop in a different way, had to bring out flavor and food in a different way than you would when you rely on animal products, because animal products do have a lot of flavor.
So and I'm very into cooking as well. Yeah, that kind of that was a really good challenge. I mean, I loved it, but it was very overwhelming because I did literally changed so much overnight, but yeah, personally I found it really easy with my clients. I don't do it that way because that's the fastest way for people to go, oh, too hard.
Can't do it. Not, not doing it anymore. Yeah. And then completely stop everything. And you know, for me, like I choose not to eat animals, not only for health, but also for yeah, animal welfare, but I don't put that on my clients. And I don't judge people either for their choices, like my husband isn't vegan and that doesn't cause any problems for us.
So because we respect each other and that's what I try to do with my clients to respect their decision. And also you can still A healthy person and live a healthy lifestyle. If you have a little bit of animal protein at night, for example, like it depends what kind, but but yeah, you know, you don't need to quit that altogether.
Glee: Thank you for bringing that up because I think that's, what's maybe some of the misconception, right. Because you know, like, oh, I have to quit it right away. Or if my, maybe my girlfriend is vegan and you know, it may cause some issues . So I'm curious, how do you do it in your household?
Tania: Yep. So my husband loves the way I cook. And so he's happy to eat this way at home. And the kids as well, like they're very little, so they don't really get much of it at this stage.
Yeah. But yes. My husband eats the way that we all eat at home. And then when he's out, he, he can choose. But he often finds himself choosing something with more plants anyway, because he feels better. He can now feel the difference between when he eats a heavier meal that's full of animal products, which is high in fat too, when he eats, predominantly plant-based.
Yeah. Feels like he's got more energy and stuff. So That's how we work
Glee: Also with vegan, just so that I'm also across this, cause there's a vegetarian and there's there is vegan, right? So what's the difference between the two.
Tania: Yep. So vegan is all animal products. So that, that includes like the flesh the dairy, the eggs even honey.
So I don't even, honey. Yeah. I don't call myself vegan because I used to, and that's how I started, but I don't anymore because now I do consume honey. So I call myself plant-based but you know, it's just a label it's I don't really like using them, but it's sometimes It's easier for people to understand, like what you're saying when you just label it and then they kind of know, but yeah, that's veganism and then veganism is also to take it a step further where you don't wear wool or purchasing any products or anything from an animal like leather which is from cow.
So it's you know, it spreads out. Yeah. To that as well. Whereas vegetarian is only animal flesh. You don't consume and you still have dairy and eggs. And then there's so many labels. Then there's people that just eat fish, but don't eat. Animal other animal flesh, but still eat dairy and eggs. So it's very, there's so many things pescatarian.
Yeah, yeah,
Glee: I don't know if you've seen it, but I, I didn't see the whole episode, but there's this Seaspiracy episode documentary in Netflix, about eating all just fish or sea products and how it's not good for the environment. So I haven't seen that documentary, but there was something like that.
And there's this, episode or documentary in Netflix about veganism, as well know if you have seen it?
Tania: Is that the one about like it's targeted at men? Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that one. Yeah. I forgot what it's called, but yeah, I have seen that one.
Glee: Yes, I've seen it, but it's just so hard for me to go vegan, but I still care about enemas or give your own, but it's just hard to do all vegan.
Tania: We, we all care about animals, you know, that's how, how we are. We all are. It's. you're ready to take that step or not. Or, some people have blocks in the way that, that doesn't allow that to happen and that's okay. We're all on our own journey and there's no right or wrong. It's just how you feel, want to live your life.
Glee: Yeah, thank you for opening that up because yeah, it's good that, people are not judging each other on whether they are vegan or not or something. And about the household, so you, they cook like only olive oil on your, on your dishes?
Tania: Yeah.
But I actually don't use oils.
Very rarely do I. Yeah. Do I cook with oils? Not at all now. Maybe I might put some in baking, but not really. I always try. Get like the healthiest version of something that I can, so, yeah. W one of the things that I love to do actually, and to challenge myself with is to get those, unhealthy kind of recipes and make them into really healthy ones.
So I hardly ever use oil anymore. Oh yeah. Thank you.
Like as in, do you mean if a recipe normally uses oil and then okay. Yeah, probably cakes. I find like a lot of baking, you know, in cakes, they, they have oil in them to kind of yeah. Make them taste better, I guess. But yeah, I try not to use, it.
Glee: So, and in cakes, so we don't use swing sweetener at all, right. Or Stevie or something.
Tania: Yeah, just use a natural sugar. So either coconut sugar, bananas, maple syrup I don't really use honey in baking. Those are the three ones I use for sweeteners. Yeah.
Glee: Interesting.
Tania: Yeah. So it's really easy once you know how to replace, what to replace, what with, you know?
Glee: You've mentioned earlier that the holistic health includes the spirit. What does a spiritual person mean to you?
Tania: Well, I believe that we're all spiritual because we all have a spirit, but I sort of, I know what you're what you're saying with your question. So I guess I would say awareness and open-mindedness and yeah, I think those are the two main ones,
Glee: So personally, how do you practice the awareness and mindfulness? Perhaps you could give some tips for our Zesties?
Tania: Yeah, sure. So one of my favorite ones that I've been doing is to choose your state of being before you go somewhere. Do something. So normally we're always on autopilot and that's how we create our lives through our subconscious, throughout the, you know, through the autopilot way. And but instead when you decide that you're going to choose how you want to show up, you start to consciously create your life.
And and that's sort of how I, practice. A lot of my spiritual practices is not really just sitting in meditation, going like home and trying to silence my mind. That's that doesn't really work for me. And so I try to find other ways to include mindfulness into my day.
So that's sort of how I go about it.
Glee: Yeah. How do you typically go about your day or what's your typical day? Like.
Tania: Yeah. So, well now we're in lockdown, so it's changed again. So it's, yeah, it's it's a bit up and down, but yeah, at the moment in lockdown, it's a bit easier because I'm just at home, so I can really look after myself a bit better.
So I try to wake up a little bit earlier before my girls, but that normally doesn't really happen. I'm trying to get into that routine though. And I always start my day with kind of checking in with spirit, I guess, and starting off that way, I'm setting my intentions for the day.
So choosing my state of being I do that and I try to think ahead about what I've got planned and try. choose how I want to show up that day. And then yeah, if my girls haven't woken up yet, I'll either do one of the medical medium meditation's he is a really well known in the health and wellness space and he's got some meditations out that really help with different ones, like with emotional struggles, cleansing and clearing the body.
So, yeah. Sometimes I do one of his meditations or or yeah, I'll do some self Reiki as well. So I'll yeah, Reiki myself pretty much depends what I feel like and how much time I have after that my eldest daughter gets herself ready, so that's all good.
I get my little one ready. For the day and then get their breakfast. And while I'm doing that, I have a big jar of lemon water. And so I drink one liter of lemon water before anything. And yeah, and then while they're eating, I start to make my celery juice. So that's also another leader of celery juice on an empty stomach.
So before I. Consume anything. I take my supplements and then yeah, often like my girls will want me to play with them or, you know, they'll want some attention from me. So we'll go and do that. and then, yeah, I try to do some yoga at home hop in the shower after that have some breakfast, which is always I always do a morning cleanse.
So pretty much always anyway, there's a very few times that I don't, but I, consume blended watermelon or that's when it's, not that fresh now that it's winter here. It's not as nice, so I kind of just blend it up and then it still tastes good. Of watermelon or smoothies or just, yeah.
Persimmons are in season at the moment and they're one of my favorite fruits. Yeah. Do you know the persimmon?
Yeah. But I think I haven't eaten. I'm not sure. Or maybe I've eaten, but . Wasn't memorable for me, I guess I'm obsessed with them. So I literally have been buying them by the box and just, you know yeah.
Mano mailing on that. So so yeah, either, yeah. Have a a fruit based breakfast.
Glee: That's what I wanted to say as well. Like all the things you've mentioned you've done before breakfast was like all fruits and veggies, like celery.
Tania: Yeah. So that's sort of what I do. that's kind of, how my morning routine looks and then the day can kind of go anywhere, really? Whether we have to go out or yeah. Or play with my girls homeschooling at the moment. So help my daughter with that. And then yeah, normally, yeah, I'll make a simple lunch for them and I just kind of eat whatever, really, if I feel like making lunch, I really, if I don't, I just eat fruit all day.
Glee: I just wanted to ask as well. You mentioned Reiki. So what is Reiki and how does it work?
Tania: Yeah, sure. So Reiki is a universal life force And I know this sounds like really, we re you know, kind of what, what is this? But quantum physics have, discovered that we are energy that we're like, I don't know what the amount is, but it's like 99 point something percent energy.
So I like to think of Reiki as the highest form of, of energy, which is love and So. the practitioner will channel that, that highest, pure energy into their body and through their hands. And then we use our intuition and intention to place our hands on or near the recipient's body down the chakras and you know, other areas of the body.
To Promote healing in whatever way. The recipient needs and whatever way that spirit thinks that the recipient needs healing.
Glee: All right. I heard about this lineage in Reiki, correct me if I'm wrong. Like, is it like passed down from the master, to the students or something like that?
Tania: Yeah, it is. So Dr. Usui was the creator and originator of Reiki. And so that's pretty much who I studied. I studied his teachings through my teacher and then it kind of just goes up the ladder to Dr. Usui again, that's pretty much what the lineage is.
Glee: Right. And so you mentioned that the Reiki treatment is given through the hands. Is it only through the hands or maybe? I don't know, like other forms as well.
Tania: Yeah, I mean, I, I was taught the Usui method, like we mentioned and that's through hands. It's also using symbols as well, which are sacred and very powerful symbols.
different symbols have different things that they do, like powering up or transcending time emotional balance. So it depends what we pick up on as well, intuitively what the recipient is needing. Then we can send through that as well. And that can just give it, give that energy, that loving energy boost.
Glee: And how does it feel like, for example, if you do self Reiki, how do you feel afterwards? If you could share with us?
Tania: So I guess it kind of depends on everyone.
And I've had a few Reiki sessions myself you know, before studying it as well. And yeah, each time was a little bit different for me as well, but generally you find people feel more relaxed yeah. Stress just melts. And lighter, like a sense of just feeling like, you know, just this heavy load, just being, you know, taken off you.
Which feels really weird. Like the first time I had it done a few years ago I think she used a different method with Reiki, so it wasn't what I've been taught, but I was thinking, why is she doing, you know, Like, oh, this doesn't seem right. And this is weird and this is probably like a waste of time and money.
And then I, I left there and it was like, I just had this spring in my step and I was like, I feel like something's just being taken off me. So yeah. It's I know it's a very kind of yeah, like I said, a ruru kind of topic. Like that, but but it works, you know, really works.
Glee: Yeah. I think someone just have to experience it because we just described it and like, I haven't done any Reiki sessions, but you know, like someone would just really need to experience it to say what it feels like.
Tania: Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It is something like that. Yeah. The open-mindedness to kind of give something like that ago, because yeah. It is really different to what, we're used to hearing.
Glee: can it also be administered through online or it needs to be like really physically in the presence of the teacher, because right now I know there's social distancing in lockdown and it's quite hard to do it.
Tania: Yeah, no, we can do Reiki. We call it distant Reiki. You're absent Reiki, right? So there's, there's a couple of ways you can do that too.
You can literally do it. Like I could be, you know, giving you Reiki now, like over our call or you can go about your day and I can set time as the practitioner to send it to you while you're just going about your day. That's not really the way I like to do it because often people. If you're not sensitive to energy and you haven't had it before, you wouldn't even know that it's happened and then you'll miss it.
And you'll be like, oh, this was like a waste. So yeah, I'd rather kind of set up, like I would another session and have the recipient, lie down like you would in person and, go through it in real time.
Glee: What was the most heartwarming comment that you've received from your clients?
Tania: Yeah, one client, she was really struggling with, stress and having that knot in your stomach and just tension all over the body and not being able to kind of move through that on her own. And and yet after our session she said she just, she felt that knot just melt away you know, her shoulders had you know, had relaxed the pain in her hips had gone.
And yeah, she just felt a lot more relaxed and calm and not stressed anymore. So that was a really nice one because sometimes it doesn't work that way. Like if you've got a lot of stuff going on, I've found if you're like very heavy with emotional baggage at that time sometimes like you can, yeah, definitely go through waves of feeling really good and then dropping again and feeling really good and then getting really tired.
And that can go on for a while. Normally, you know, people do feel. They're best afterwards with a few like dips in energy and mood. And that only lasts a few days, but yeah, if you are carrying a lot and it's really heavy stuff, I have found that it can take a bit longer and you can have a stronger kind of cleansing you know, detoxing sort of effects.
Glee: Is it like the teacher passes on the loving energy to the student or the practitioner passes on their energy to the recipient.
Tania: Yes, but not, they're not the practitioner's energy. It's, it's like pure energy from spirit, from source, from the universe, from God, from the light, whatever you want to call it. It's. Yeah. So the, the practitioner is not the one that's getting drained and using her or his energy. And it's not like that.
No, we channel that energy. So we just become a vessel for it.
Glee: Yeah, that's great. Cause at first I was perplexed on how the energy gets being passed on. But thank you for clearing that up. I just have a quick question about balancing hormones, because I know you're also a hormone coach. So how do you incorporate like, or any best practices for fertility preparation?
Tania: Yes. Yeah. So I guess using those key components that, I mentioned a little bit about before, along with others that I think I didn't mention like food as medicine as well.
Yeah. Supplements. Yeah. So we use all that in helping the woman balance, hormonally, but there's a lot of mindset stuff that comes with preconception and fertility. So we would use things like that tools that we have there. And then, women that are suffering from things like PCOS and endometriosis and you know, fibroids and, and yeah.
Infertility as well. They're feeling like their body is broken. it's really sad and they feel like their body has given up on them. And the thing I guess, that I really want to say about that is that think about like, would your body ever do that to you? Like, would it ever go against you and try to harm you?
Like when you really break it down and think about that? The answer is no, like your body would never do that. Yeah. It wants to live, you know, it's a living thing and it's always trying to do the very best it can for you. And so if there's something going on, if you have symptoms and conditions, it's not your body's fault, it's not your body attacking itself or your genes.
It's, environment. It's, something else that's going on. That's really, what I try to do is get to the root cause of what is going on hormonally so we can not put band-aids over it and try and mask it, but instead, use the holistic methods to try and heal naturally.
Glee: And so it could go on for like how many months of preparation.
Tania: I mean, a lot of people say, you know, minimum three months, three to six months, but, I like to say as soon as you can, if you know that you've always wanted to have a baby or one day then I would start as soon as you can because everybody heals in a different timeframe and it also depends on how much damage has been done and what your toxin load is.
As to how long it will take. If you've been on the pill and things like that. So yeah. I really just like to just say, yeah, as soon as you can, if you feel ready to take that step, then yeah. Let's do it, you know,
Glee: And it just got me thinking when you mentioned about the pill. So just a curious question. So as much as possible we shouldn't take, or we shouldn't use the pill because it's not natural. Is it something like that?
Tania: Yeah. So anything, any prescription medication that you take always come with side effects? Always. Yeah. So actually the pill doesn't give you a real period. It's it's a fake one. And the hormones that are in the pill.
Yeah. Overriding your body's natural rhythm. So everything kind of just gets muddled up. And yeah, for some people like myself, when I came off the pill, it was fine. Like I went back to having a normal period you know, every month straight away, but that's not the case for a lot of women as well. Like they can go a year or more without it.
The pill is pretty much just masked that those symptoms that were happening before, but because they might've been on the pill for so long their body has become burdened with toxins and, just from that other things as well which then their symptoms, they get off the pill and their symptoms are a whole lot worse and they're like, oh, what's happened.
But it's because it's been hidden for so long.
Glee: Yeah. Even like me when I was like a bit of long ago when I didn't come to Australia yet. So I was using pills because I was so stressed and I didn't have, my period just didn't come for like some, several months. So I went on pills and it really got me depressed. Like I feel that it has contributed more to my stress levels for some reason.
Like I easily get sad and my mood is. Always down.
So So I could attest to that pill situation.
Tania: I think most women can, if you know, because we kind of just stay on it. Don't we, we just, yeah.
Glee: 'Cause you know know is recommended by the doctor and you just want it to be there. You know, like you just want the quick way and you know, going on holidays, you don't want it, your period, all that kind of stuff.
Tania: Yeah. And that's the reality and, you know that's how society has made us think that, you know, we have to hide it. It's shameful thing, but that's a whole another story, you know? Yeah.
Glee: Yeah. So before we wrap up, what are your top tips on the journey to becoming holistically healthy?
Tania: Yeah. So I'm eating an abundance of live foods and drinking an abundance of live water. What else following your intuition? That's another one and following and doing what it says, like going for it. So not just yeah, not just kind of listening, but also following.
Yeah. Yeah. And trusting it because that, the brave part that takes, that takes a lot of bravery sometimes. And then, yeah, like I mentioned before, I think choosing your state of being so setting intentions before you do anything. And seeing what happens with that.
Glee: Great. So I have some few fun questions for you before we wrap up. So are you ready?
All right. What superhero or villain would make the best therapist for you? What do you think?
Tania: Oh, I would say for here is out there they all kinds of about violence aren't they? Which is something that
I'm not into.
They all kind of fight, which it's not really my thing.
Glee: Have a lead character on the movie or a TV character.
Tania: Ah, okay. That would be the best therapist. the first thing that sort of came to mind was yeah, Frozen 2 you know Elsa from frozen. Yeah. Like I don't, I don't know if she'd make a good therapist, but maybe she would because in the second one, you know, she goes through this journey of finding herself and she does, lives out her destiny, if you want to call it or her calling her true, path, you know, she lives that out.
And so. Yeah, I think, I think that would make a good therapist because of sort of Been there and done that and then can then now kind of help someone else follow their path too.
Glee: Awesome. And another one, what mythical creature would improve the world the most? If it existed.
I'm coming up with very odd questions, but
Tania: a mythical creature. Okay.
Well, the thing is, there's a lot of mythical creatures that I believe are real, so it kind of eliminates a lot
in your head.
Let's let's think. Maybe angels. They're very powerful. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't call them mythical
Glee: And so where can our zest, these find you?
Tania: Oh, thank you. So Yeah, my Instagram handle is @tonyaahkin, T a N I A A H K I N. And I share my recipes there because I love cooking. And like we said, I like making those unhealthy versions of dishes healthier. And so you don't feel like you're missing out, you know, I've also got a free recipe ebook that you can download there too.
Yeah, that's where you'll find me.
My email is just hello@taniaahkin.com.
Glee: Okay. Great. Great. Thank you so much, Tanya, for gracing the show. It was so wonderful to have you.
Tania: Oh, thank you, Glee. Thanks so much for having me. It was really nice. I like your fun questions at the end.
They were good. I have questions, but anyway, it's to spice things up. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, no, it's great.
Relationship topics are fascinating and entertaining at the same time.
This episode circles around the topic of interracial dating, where Lawin of Pop Your Cultural Cherry, speaks about his thoughts and experiences around this topic.
We'll hear about:
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How he met his partner
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Did he had pre-dispositions about dating someone from a different culture
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How did they manage to harmonize any cultural differences to make the relationship work
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and more!
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Transcript:
Lawin: Cause I know people in the Philippines also. Who also are like this. I don't think it's a matter of race or where you're from. It's just Filipino guys are just better in hiding it.
Glee: hey Zesties! Welcome to the Gleeful Talk Show where we share the stories to cultivate the happiness and hero with it. This episode is just a general chat about dating, particularly with someone from a different culture. There are several layers to this topic and it sits close to my heart because I'm married to someone from a different culture.
So I am curious about what others' experiences are, and I might be sharing some of my experience , in other upcoming episodes soon. My guest
for today is a fellow podcaster who is currently based in Germany and runs the podcast. Pop your cultural cherry, which aims to give its listeners a unique perspective of life in Europe with an Asian or Filipino twist, please welcome Lawin.
Hi, Lawin welcome to the show.
Lawin: Hello. Thank you for having me.
Glee: Thank you.
I know that you're currently in Germany and you have found your love life there. So today we would dig in a little bit more on your love life and your insights to share for Zesties. And of course, feel free to ask some of the things that you'd like to know as well
Lawin: Okay.
Glee: so may I ask where and how did you meet.
Lawin: Yeah.
So 2017 I started to do my masters, my MBA in the Netherlands. It was in a small city near the German border called Maastricht. It is one of the most popular students cities in, in Netherlands and Netherlands is not a big country and they have maybe like, I don't know, a dozen students cities, and I was in one of them, which was close to the German border.
Probably four months, four or five months after I started, I met my current girlfriend Jenny she at the time was working in that city. So. What happened was I was a student, but she was working for a German company, but in the Netherlands. So the company that she was working for is a very big like automobile company, a German automobile company, which is nothing special because there are dozens of German, automobile companies.
But she was living there for. A couple of months already. And basically what happened was as I was studying. And she was working, there were, there are a couple of events that happened in the city. So these events are actually international organizations. Have these sponsor, these events, and one of these organizations is called InterNations.
I don't know if you're familiar with that,
Glee: I am familiar with it. Yeah.
Lawin: Yeah.
there's a lot of InterNations chapters or branches all over the world in different cities. So I attended this Internations event and She also attended the same international has been, it was both of our first times to attend an InterNations event.
I went to the InterNations event because I was a student there, I didn't really get to interact with a lot of people who. Like in the workforce, in the labor force, people who are working. So I thought it would be a good way to network. At that time I was also single. So, you know, maybe meet some interesting people as well, meet some interesting girls.
And that's what kind of happened then there's so at that time she was also single, so it was a good probably like a good, a good match. So, in the beginning I was talking to different people and then I met her we spoken. Yeah. Eventually we kind of clicked and then I got her number and then one thing led to another and yeah, this is how our stories kind of started.
Glee: Mm. Interesting. So, did you kind of court her in the traditional Filipino way?
Lawin: Okay.
Actually, no, I never follow this traditional Filipino way of courting. Every, since I was young, I've not had that many, that many girlfriends, but I also grew up in a very liberal house So yeah, also, also the people around me never had this kind of way of courting girls like the traditional Filipino way of, you know what's the traditional Filipino way, like really being super romantic, going through a lot of phases of dating, meeting the parents before, you know, you actually get serious. that's not how I've stated in the past. And yeah, also because you're in the new country, I was, we're not in the Philippines. We were in we were both in, foreign countries to ours. And I thought that, you know, I would kind of see how, you know, people do it in Europe because it's obviously very different from how people would do it in the Philippines.
And I just decided to. Be very open and liberal about it. So to see kind of where it goes, how it goes without really setting for myself, like, oh, we must go through X number of dates before you know, we can get serious or whatever. Or I should get to know her parents before, we have our relationship or whatever, because we're both actually we're the same age.
So we were both what, 27 at that time or something 28. So. I think when you reach a certain age and also at the same time, you're both live in living in foreign countries. It kind of makes sense already not to be so traditional in that sense.
Glee: Yeah.
Yeah did she know some Filipinos before you or some friends
Lawin: Yeah. Actually. Yes. And no. So in general, like in this part of Europe, there's not a lot of Filipino people. There's not a big Filipino community. She had one neighbor who was from the Philippines. So actually I've met them already. So she knew one person, but they didn't really have any relationship. She didn't have any friends.
She had like zero contact with other Filipino people. So I was more or less the first kind of
Really got to know.
Glee: before, did you have any like hesitations about dating outside Filipino nationalities?
Lawin: Okay. Actually, no, because I think my first girlfriend was not Filipino, so, so she was, she was an ex-pat living in Japan, so she was actually my first girlfriend and I think I was 22 maybe. And. So basically my history of dating has pretty much been very international to that sense. I haven't had, as I mentioned, I didn't have a lot of girlfriends, but I've gone on dates with a lot of people from different countries.
Personally, I find this more interesting also, because if you're from Manila, you did somebody from, and then obviously I've also had a good friend from Manila and dated other people from Manila. There's always like Manila is a very. Small place, always some connections is people kind of think the same way you have the same aspirations you have the same culture.
Probably because you're from Cebu, it might be a bit different, but I mean, probably if you dated somebody from Cebu, you'd have the same kind of idea that, you know, the circles are always like integrated somehow.
And I don't know if, for me to some extent. It's nice. Cause it's, it's comfortable for you, but at the same time, it's not that exciting.
So I've always, also kind of liked to date outside of, of the Filipino race.
Glee: interesting because me, so I've only dated. a non- Filipino, which is my husband now because I had some hesitations before, so, and I grew up in a conservative household and although I have aunts. who have married non Filipino men. So they're now living in one is in Vienna and one is in the us as well.
but I didn't really thought about dating a non Filipino guy for some reason.
Lawin: Why? Why is there any, what's the hesitation about? Is it something to do? Is it just because they're different or?
Glee: I, I think I had this stereotype and twisted thinking before, you know, like in the movies, you know, the white men are, not that faithful in the Hollywood movies.
Lawin: Okay.
Glee: So I feel like you shouldn't watch too much Hollywood movies because you will have a different or twisted thinking.
So. So that's what I felt before in some people who dated. ex-pats who are in the Philippines and then they, they different Filipinos, right. The men and, they, date different women. So I heard some not so good stories. So that was, that formed my initial Yeah.
Lawin: but I think to some extent, yes, because that's what you see in the movies. But I think Filipino guys are just better in hiding it. Cause I know people in the Philippines also. Who also are like this. I don't think it's a matter of race or where you're from. It's just, I think Filipino guys are better at hiding it.
Then you see it nowadays, like in, you know, in Filipino drama on TV. Like also like guys also, obviously, also not just guys, but also girls. So it's, I think it's the same anywhere.
Glee: Yeah, I totally agree with that. That it really doesn't depend on the nationality or culture, but it depends on the person. It's just that at that time, I wasn't really exposed. I was just in Cebu for the whole.
years of my life.
And then I moved to Dubai afterwards. then the whole thinking just, you know, changed.
But yeah, that was like weird.
Lawin: Yeah, can understand.
Glee: So you didn't have any like pre predispositions of foreign nationalities and no changes on your perceptions before, because you know, you've dated different nationalities already, even when you were like in your early twenties.
Lawin: Yeah.
So while I was in the Philippines. I've gone on dates with people from other nationalities, but they were mostly also Asian. And I think like Asian to Asian, the differences is not so big, but obviously Asian to European, the difference is it's quite big and it's still, I can still see it, but honestly, I'm the type of person who likes experiencing different things more than comfortable things.
So I like, I like it. That me and my girlfriend, they're very different from each other. But in terms of predisposition towards, I don't know, German people or European women, like I actually did not have any. Predisposition. So I came into, you know, Europe without really having any bias or prejudice.
So I always have an, had a, like an open mind about things. Obviously you hear from media, from watching movies that, you know, It might be possible that they're not as hygienic as Filipino people, but obviously that would also depend from person to person. I think there's some truth to it.
But obviously it's not everybody is like that. I don't know. I dunno if I couldn't see like the average Filipino person or the average Filipino girl is more hygienic. Like, I dunno, they take more care of themselves in terms of hygiene or appearance or whatever. I don't know if, if that's correct thing to say, but from my observation, it, it could be very Possible, but obviously again, case to case basis.
But besides that also I had this idea that they're very open-minded, which I like, because I'm obviously, I'm also very open-minded as I come from a like liberal background. And so I was always open to whoever, I had no idea that, oh, I should date a certain person from a certain race because this race has X features that I like, or because most people from this area are like this.
No, I just, well, whoever I meet and if they're a nice person, if we can get along, it doesn't really matter. So people should be able to love whoever they want and be with every, with whoever they want. And obviously there will be predispositions built because of watching too many movies, listening to too many people.
But I think part of the enjoyment of the whole process is just getting to know, you know, different people.
Glee: Yes. I totally agree with that. And let's say for example, Person who was just like in the city, like I was before. So they don't form that wide horizon in themselves. And then, and then if you watch these movies, then you have like this type of thinking. So it's, which is like also not too wide.
Right. So, and with the hygiene as well, I also heard about that that maybe because of the weather as.
Lawin: Yeah.
Glee: It's very cold, but yeah. Good thing as well, that it is person to person. So I'm glad that my husband is hygienic. So,
Lawin: Yeah.
Glee: so and then also me, I have some predispositions before, like what I've mentioned earlier and also I'm so lazy in trying Like, I feel that if I speak in English in a relationship, like I couldn't express myself that much. That was my thinking before, but I didn't try that. Yeah, that was my initial concern that, oh, if I will be in a relationship, I have to speak English all the time,
Lawin: Yeah.
Glee: but we're thinking, right. But I think some of the Filipinos also have that same thinking. So, but like when you are in the relationship or when you love that person, you, you tend to be more open, as you said, said, and you tend to of course do that much effort in order to communicate with them.
Yeah. Well for you, obviously, if you love that person, obviously you have already, the certain understanding and words is just one way of communicating, but there's so many other ways to communicate with your partner, but at the same time, you could also learn Hungarian or you can teach your husband Bisaya.
So
Yeah. He, he, he has learned some words as well, but Hungarian language is quite hard to.
Lawin: I heard it's one of the hardest languages in the world, I think, or in Europe at least
Glee: Yeah, it's quite hard. So, and he said that, oh, just don't learn Hungarian. Like nobody speaks Hungarian in Australia,
Lawin: Yeah.
Glee: That's a difficulty because when you know, meeting the parents, so when I met his mother, it was hard. Cause I need a translator.
Lawin: Yeah. You need him all the
Glee: Yeah. Yeah. And how about you? So how did your family felt when they met
Jenny
Lawin: Yeah. So 2009 December, when you went back after the Philippines for Christmas she was with me and she obviously she met.
my family. The thing is the good thing is that my girlfriend actually speaks very fluent English, so they didn't have any problems communicating. And at the same time, my family, everyone can speak English to a very high level.
So. Well, there wasn't any problems in terms of communication. And I think also my mom really like my family liked her. She's a nice person and knows how to adapt to different situations. So honestly there was no issues there and she also, she also liked her stay. And actually most of the time that we were in the Philippines, we were just in my mom's place.
We didn't actually do a lot of sightseeing. Like I kind of feel bad for her because I brought it to a few places, but not enough because I also wanted to catch up with a lot of my friends and family. But yeah. Yeah, she, she enjoyed it and people liked her. I didn't get any, you know, racist comments or whatever that, oh, why are you dating somebody? Who's not Filipino and. Could be possible that, that that happens in some very conservative, traditional families. But for us it was it's good. And at the same time I had the same experience when I was with her family.
So although only one person in her whole family can speak English. Besides her that I'm slowly learning German. My German is not so bad, so It's getting better and better communication. But I think so far, her family likes me. They give me, they've been giving me a lot of presents. So I think that's a positive sign if they give you some presence every now and then.
So yeah,
Glee: Nice. And so do you speak German in your household with
Lawin: her, no, no, because. When we met, we only spoke English because we were both not living in Germany. And it was just like, it was just fate. That kind of led me to work in Germany. So actually I moved back to Germany before she moved back to Germany. So for some time we were living in separate countries but just across the border.
So it's, it's a bit strange to, to imagine, but it's not so far from each other, but in different countries. learned German because I got the job here. But because we met in the Netherlands and we started our relationship in English, we kind of just continued in that, that direction.
Glee: Hmm.
Lawin: yeah, I mean, my also her English is way better than my German and I don't think I'll ever catch up to her level of English with my level of German.
So until I catch up, probably we would, would not switch to German, but when, when we're with her family or some friends, even just outside the apartment, because in public, you have to speak kind of German with the people outside. So then, then we do speak German.
Glee: So speaking of communication, so what were for you, the differences in communicating or the communication style?
Lawin: Yeah. So you know, these like languages of love.
Glee: Yes.
Lawin: Have you ever, have you ever taken this test?
Glee: Yeah.
Lawin: I think she's a very gifts person and I'm a very time, time
Glee: Mm.
Lawin: So we have very different love languages, but I don't think. For me that matters. Like I said, like, I really like differences. So the more different you are, I think the more interesting our relationship. But Yeah.
in terms of communication. Yeah, we're very open to each other.
And I think as long as you can keep, you can be open to each other and you'll have less and less problems.
Glee: And how did you harmonize the differences? As you mentioned, you liked the differences. So how did you , because sometimes, you know, it might be a miscommunication. So how were you able to harmonize.
Lawin: right. I think the first step is always to have like an open mind. So whenever you're with anybody, regardless, if they share the same beliefs of you or not, Obviously the people who don't share the same beliefs with you, you'd always have some kind of conflict, but you should always like have an open mind.
So I try never to really impose some things on her, even though, you know, in the Philippines, this is the way it should be. But. I never tried to impose that. And I just tried to learn why know, your partner or other people do things that, that a specific way, that's not the same as, you know, you were taught or that, you know and it's just.
Being, and having an open mind and trying not to impose anything on other people try to learn also like why people do things in certain ways. And, and honestly, you might be shocked that there might, they might have actually a point and the way that they, they do things.
Glee: Mm. So it's really just understanding where you differ and you, work from there because if we don't understand that difference, then it's like, we are perplexed right. Like why? Like we cannot accept it because we don't understand.
Lawin: Yeah, exactly. I think first step is always, admitting that we are different and then trying to understand why we are different and then maybe looking at, these differences. Does it really make sense to do things one specific way or does it make sense to do things separate ways?
And I think there could be a merit also in doing things differently, just because, your family or your parents or your society told you it's a specific way. I mean, there's so many different ways of doing it that, you know, maybe it just wasn't considered before and you might actually learn something new or you might even adapt that other person's beliefs or that person's way of doing things.
So one thing that really upsets me in Europe is actually when you go out on to restaurants or, at home, when you have food.
People actually throw a lot of food away. Like,
Glee: Yeah.
Lawin: They don't maximise, like, for example, there's some left over the, throw it away and you go to a restaurant normally in the Philippines, if there's something left over, you take it home. Right. You ask if you can take it to them here, it's quite normal to just have them throw it away.
And this is something that I really fight for it like no. We ordered, we should finish it. Or if we have the scan of food, we should make sure that we cook it before it expires or not, never waste, never waste food. And obviously, in the beginning they don't understand this concept so much. Until, you know, you, you take them to the Philippines and they realize.
Oh yeah. It's because there's a lot of people who don't actually have food and, by making sure. We don't have so much waste then maybe our society can like produce just enough, you know, and, and enough for us and, you know, and offer for everybody. And not because there's waste, just having the idea of having waste.
There's such a, you know, in Filipino families, your mom will always get mad at you dad. Like, no, you should finish all your food before you leave the table. So these kinds of things. Yeah. Obviously this is one idea. That's really, I think there's only one right. Answer to that. It's not having waste, but at the same time, you know, when I came here, you, you notice that there's a very different way of viewing this. It's not like she fought me or people from here fought me over my belief, but it's just that we had very different beliefs. And that's one thing that I tried to impose on her is try to be more careful with, you know, with food.
Glee: I could relate to that as well, because I have the same thinking, you know, because Philippines.
Lawin: Yeah.
Glee: Right. So my husband always says, don't make yourself too fat if you cannot really eat it. cause you know, women, we always like, oh, I'm getting too fat. I'm getting I'm gaining weight.
And then, and then he always says that then why you eat The food that you can't even take anymore. And then that you, brings the on more weight. So that's his thinking about the food. If you cannot eat it all, then don't eat it because otherwise it will be bad for you.
so what are your top tips for interracial couples?
Lawin: Oh, wow. Okay.
Top tip, obviously open mind, just having an open mind, as I already mentioned try not to think a certain way is correct and just, you know, be open to learning something new always, and that would make your relationship more exciting.
I think this is true for any relationship, not just for interracial couples, but don't, don't try to adapt yourself too much to that. Person's like, so you might, for example I might be in Germany. I might try to be as German as I can. Just because I know that's, that would make my, my girlfriend more comfortable.
But honestly, like you should just be yourself. Don't forget to be yourself. And I think that's, you know, that's the reason they're with you because you're different. It's probably not because I look Filipino, but they act like a German person, but they're with you because you're a very different person and probably that's, that's what they like about you.
So I see a lot of people, you know, who come here and they. No, of course, it's nice to get the culture, but always try to maintain, you know, your identity and your true personality. And I think that, you shouldn't forget about that. So that's something I do. although I am trying to learn the language I'm getting. To know the culture better, but at the same time, I'll never kind of change myself and I have to be more like more German. That's not, that's not going to happen. So I think for relationships, those are important points. I'd say another important point also is to maintain kind of, well, for me, this is important.
I don't know how you find it, but It's also important for you to make sure that your partner also gets included in your culture. So even though for example, you're you're in Australia. But your husband has his own thing with his friends on WhatsApp or his own thing with his family, you know, little and little by little try to involve the person with the, with what's happening.
So actually, Same thing with my, girlfriend when we have, when I have some zoom events even though it's sometimes in Tagalog or in Filipino, I still invite her so that she, she can feel that like she's part of that thing
of that thing. So I think that small things that, that could help Yeah. strengthened the relationship.
Also try to teach her a little bit of Tagalog, but it's hard.
Glee: yes, like retaining your individuality. So it's really, I mean, not only interracial couples, as you've said, I certainly with that because some people might lose themselves in the relationship. Right. And then that becomes toxic and all.
And also if I may add, it's Springs on the same way as like the communication. So emphasize that there is a difference, but do not assume that they know the difference and then like, do not suffer in silence. Like, we're different than I'm not telling that person that there is a difference so do not suffer in silence.
And for me, I think the person on equal grounds. This, this is for me because, you know, I didn't date any other non Filipinos. at first I was very like shy, I would think that because of the, maybe the colonial mentality so that's why I succumbed to the ways of that mentality. but if we remain as we are, like, we will be the same person as they would have liked us in the first one.
Yeah, exactly. so before we wrap up this episode, so I have some few questions unrelated to the topic. are you ready?
Lawin: Go ahead.
Glee: So if you could be in a movie, what would it be?
Lawin: If I could be in the movie, what would it be? That's hard.
Glee: Really
Lawin: if I could be in the movie,I'd pick
all right. Series or a TV series, let's say.
No, let me pick a movie. I know a movie, I know a movie. I just thought about it right now. Slumdog millionaire, Slumdog millionaire, because I have a lot of life experiences that I think are very exciting and very life changing. that, if I had to join like a game show, hopefully those questions are some of the things that I've experienced in my life.
And I could answer. would be cool movie with and that I'd be rich in the end.
Glee: Yeah. Nice.
Lawin: that's the most important part.
Glee: Yeah. Yes, exactly. So next what was your favorite TV show when you were growing up?
Lawin: What, okay. Favorite TV show. I I'd say I have two favorite TV shows growing up. One is anime slam dunk slam dunk, because I used to play basketball when I was, in grade school, in high school. because the main kind of the Sakuragi is not very Talented, but through hard work, he became like a good player.
So I always thought that I'm not that good. I'm just maybe if I work hard enough, I'll be very good. But I ended up being that very good, just like enough to be in the school team, but not more than that. And then another show that I really loved growing up?
Has has something to do as well with with, with basketball is one tree hill.
You watched One
Tree Hill?
Glee: Uh, Yeah, I noticed didn't watch
Lawin: it series, but yeah, I'd say more Slam Dunk growing up.
Glee: Ah, nice. So next Would you rather walk around with a salad for a head or a broccoli for arms?
Lawin: Wow. Salad for a head probably. If I had broccoli as arms, there are a lot of things in life I won't be able to do, but if I have salad as a head, I can still do some sports. And, and because, because in general, I think a lot of girls like being healthy, they like salad, therefore with a face as a salad, like I'd still be attractive to some girls.
Glee: Nice.
Lawin: Okay.
Glee: Nice one nice one. So, all right. So where can our Zesties is fin
Lawin: Yeah. So I have a podcast glee mentioned in the beginning called Pop Your Cultural Cherry. So I'm on Spotify, apple podcasts, Google podcasts, and all the other like main podcasts streaming platforms. I also have an Instagram and a Facebook page. You can just search me, Pop Your Cultural Cherry
the name's quite unique. And if you'd search it, I'm the only one. My show is the only one gonna show up. So, yeah.
Glee: Okay. Great. Thank you so much for coming in on the show, Lawin and more power to podcasts.
Lawin: thank you, Glee. You too.
Glee: Thank
you.
Hey Zestie Hope you enjoyed this chill conversation with Lawin. So how about you? How did you meet your partner? Let me know. In the comments are sent an email to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com. If you'd like to share a story of how you met your partner, I might be putting a segment like this here and there all throughout the season.
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Such a fun, enjoyable and informative conversation with Louise Hopkin, a professional home organiser based in Canada shares her expertise on:
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why do accumulate so much clutter?
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how to achieve calmness in our lives through decluttering our own space
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how to avoid fuzzy brain
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how do we tell our parents to give new homes for their old stuff when the time comes
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and so much more!
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Transcript:
Glee: Hey Zesties. Welcome to the Gleeful Talk Show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and hero within. Thank you for supporting the show thus far. And if you haven't already please subscribe and rate the show wherever you listen to your podcasts, it will definitely help a LOT. We can also connect on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, just search Gleeful Talk Show.
And if he want me to say caffeinated, you can also buy me a cup of coffee or two! Just head down to the episode notes, to find out how I've also put up a zesty survey on the episode notes. So with that, I'll get to knowyou guys better and provide better content in the future.
I'll choose one zesty who has filled out the survey to give one month subscription of Blinkist. Make sure to key in your email address on the survey, Blinkist offers key insights from top nonfiction books in a made for mobile format. Learn anytime anywhere. This is not sponsored by the way, but I do have something to share before we dive in.
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Today we explore why we accumulate so many objects in our homes that sometimes we don't need and how we can manage and let go of these things.
Our guest is a professional home organizer who has been helping people for five years, decluttering their homes. To provide calmness and balance of the mind, spirit and soul. She is originally from New Zealand and now living in Canada with her family, she loves to learn and find ways to make life simple and enjoy the moment.
Please. Welcome Louise Hopkin. Hi Louise. Welcome to the show.
Louise: Hi. Glee Thank you so much for having me here. I'm really excited to talk about my favorite subject.
Glee: thank you for being on the show as well. And you run Space Reclaimers currently. What inspired you to build it in the first place?
Louise: That's a really great question. And it's taken me a long time to kind of answer that , when I fell into it, I was looking for a business, not specifically, or home organizing. And I was looking around, I was like, I knew I needed to do something for myself being an entrepreneur. And I found home organizing.
And I'm like, is that really a thing? Like, I hadn't really heard of it before. And so I looked into it more and I was like, that sounds great. And. I, decided to start my own business instead because I wanted to do things my way. And I just had a little twist on it. But the funny thing was like, I'm not a naturally organized person.
And so for quite a while, I was like, why am I doing this? Like what, why am I pulled to this? And, and it was really intriguing. And it finally came to me the more I was working with clients, right. They. We're attached to their stuff. And I could see that there was so many more layers to it. So once I got to those layers, I was like, ah, this is what I'm drawn to is helping people understand, you know, the psychology part of it, the triggers and helping them release.
So that's when it really clicked. And I really switched up and the start of creating my programs and coaching and now that's my passion and I love it. It's just, it's really exciting. And I love seeing people release that weight. It's like a weight. Right. And they can feel it being lifted from them.
Glee: That's interesting. could relate to in a way that It's not naturally within you. Like for me, podcasting or talking is not actually natural for me because I'm an introvert. When you started looking at home organizing, was there some point in your life that when it just clicked, like when you started looking at it intently,
Louise: yeah, for sure. So when I started doing it and I was working with friends and, you know, getting to know the system. And kind of how it works. And that's when I was like, okay, this is what I like to do. And, and part of me is I really love to help people and that's always something I've wanted to do as well.
I didn't know exactly what capacity that would be. And then I found that this really worked for me because I'm very empathetic with people and, and understand and, and get people to open up. So that's when it really clicked. And I'm like, this covers. Everything that I really love about. And that I've been looking for in a career for the last, gosh, I don't know how many years now, a long time.
Glee: Okay. You've mentioned about attachment and like the psychology in the things that we acquire. Why do you think a lot of us have this emotional attachment to these things?
Louise: well, you know, things?
are really their symbol sometimes of the time in our life. So, you know, if you go traveling and you buy all those souvenirs, And you get those little knickknacks and you're like, Oh, this every time I'm going to see it, this is going to remind me of this memory and this place. And, you just keep buying them, buying them.
And then when you get home, unfortunately, sometimes they just get packed away and it's like, they're collecting dust. And you're like, Whoa, I still remember that trip that I had in that great time I had with friends and family. But we, when we touch things, that memory comes back really, it comes back so strong and then it's like, Oh, but if I get rid of that, then the memory's gone.
So it's trying to make that connection that the memory is still in you, it's not in this stuff, which is really hard for a lot of us. Right. So, Yeah.
Glee: I haven't really thought about that. Like when you told me now, I realize that, Oh yeah, it is. It does. And Do you think, aside from that, is there something that culture related, have you worked with other clients in Canada or somewhere else that they might have different leaning on things on why they, they do it?
Louise: Yeah, for sure. It, there is different cultures. Does that will do that. because gift giving is a huge thing and it's a respectful thing and it's, we need to keep hold of these items and I haven't come across it a whole lot, but I can see it in some homes. Sometimes it's the culture of what they're being, brought up and right.
Their home, the style of their home. It can be if they've come from A place or a country or a time where things were really hard to come by, then you tend to really treasure everything you have. And now you have access to so much stuff because we have online shopping. Things are really affordable now.
Right. You know, you have, I won't mention any names, but like, you know, the big. Websites that you can buy cheap things. So there can be that culture and that background that really leads us to holding on to items because if you've paid really good money for it?
and it's what if I need it,
Glee: yeah. The what is
Louise: thinking. But
what if it's huge or yeah, totally is. It's like, and there's good. Cause when it comes to the, what if there's I talk about rules and guidelines for that? If you have something in your life, but what if I need it someday? A really good rule I say is the 20:20 rule.
And I don't know if you've heard the minimalists actually do this one. And so what it is, if it's under $20 and if you can drive. Don't have to drive more than 20 miles or Ks for it. Then you can let it go easily because it's easily replaced. It's not wasteful way of thinking. It's more like helping you release easier and quicker, if that makes sense.
So having these little rules and guidelines, it really helps with that psychology part of it. Right when you're letting go.
Glee: I'm curious, like for example I have something very sentimental value. Like I can't let go of it. Is there some thing that, Oh, it's fine that you don't let go of it. Is there some kind of like soft rule?
Louise: Yeah, for sure. There is totally, if it's all taking up. A lot of real estate in your home, you know, if it's not causing anxiety. And if you perhaps like the piece, sometimes we don't always necessarily like the piece when it's sentimental, but it still has that attachment to it. Right. So, what I like to say is let's have a, it's either a number game or a space game.
So if you have some sentimental items and say, you have one box full of them, right. So you could have a tote that has your sentimental items in there. That's fine. Right? We're not talking about getting rid of them. Everything. That means something to you, but what we're talking about is creating those boundaries.
So when you have those boundaries, then it doesn't go over it. If it's a sentimental item. Is it a, like if it's a large piece, is it large
Glee: Let's say large. Yeah. Yeah.
Louise: Large. Okay, cool. So if it's a large piece of, we're making this up, so look at on the fly. So if it's a piece of furniture, right. And you're looking at it and it's taking out real estate, then what I suggest is a couple of different things. You can, take photos of it, which I know a lot of people say, but do you ever really go back to that photo and then actually try sell that piece or donate if this is, if you don't like the piece, but another way you could do it is ask family members.
And say, is anybody else interested in this? So I've had some clients that will actually do an auction in their home. So this is, this is kind of like maybe older clients and they're trying to rehome their stuff. So they'll have their family come in and do an auction, which is kind of fun because then everybody gets to pick the piece.
They like, another way I talk about is repurposing it. So if you're okay with having it, like if it's a piece of furniture that can be chopped up, which sounds a bit
drastic,
But you can have it remade into something else. Right. And then you still have that sentimental item. It could be made into a picture frame.
like I thinking of a metal holder, like if you have kids and stuff and you can put your metals on there. There's quite a few different things. You can repurpose it. So that's another way of doing it or repaint it and put new handles on it.
So there's a few things, right?
Glee: good that you mentioned. Cause yeah, I wouldn't have really thought about it. And you've mentioned also about like family matters. I'm curious to know how, like for me, I am a Filipino living in Australia, but even before in the Philippines, my parents really love collecting stuff because of the culture as well.
And how am I able to tell them that, or maybe try to start a conversation with them on like, mom, dad, just can, can you just let go of these stuff and you know, how do I, how do I initiate, these conversations?
Louise: Yeah. You know, that's a really tricky one and a lot of us struggle with it. Right. Because we don't really like to think about what happens to mom and dad eventually happens to all of us. Right. But it's a sub Yeah.
it does. That's one thing we can be sure of in life, I guess. So. And it's, it's not a fun subject and I totally get that.
But what happens is a lot of the times we're left with our parents stuff. And if you're saying your parents like to collect stuff because of their culture, and it can be just. How our parents are as well. Then you have to think about your going to be the one that needs to not clean up the house, but, you know, deal with your stuff when you're dealing with mourning and and other things, right.
Are you going to have to go there and pack up their home? Find a home for everything. Are you going to feel guilty getting rid of this stuff? That sounds a bit harsh, but you know what I mean, dealing with it. So what I suggest is really start the conversation now, and that could be tough. And, and you know, for some times they may change the subject.
They you know, say, I don't want to talk about that right now.
But just keep it, which, you know, I get it. Cause they're like, eh, that's not something I really want to think about. Some are open, some are not, but just keep being really gentle and really mindful and don't come out them as a, um, really. Yeah, basically. Yeah. You know what I'm trying to like, come in right. Really aggressive, right. Just say, right, we're going to get rid of this and they'll be like, Whoa. No. So, so what I suggest is coming in gentle conversations like mum and dad, you have some great stuff here. I really want to find a great home for them.
I don't have room for them in my home. What can we do? And then you can actually start it's a little bit harder. Are you parents doing in the
Glee: Yeah, they are still in the Philippines.
Louise: right. So it's a little bit different, but you could start working together with them even over virtually.
Let's find a home for things. Let's start asking the family and do it together as a project. And so then they can see their stuff going to a really great home and they feel good about it. And another one could be to donations that they, they really are passionate about. Go to donation centers. So they know they're helping someone with their stuff, but really start the gentle conversation.
Don't be aggressive about it. And start with words like mum and dad, like I said, do you have great stuff? I love it. I just don't have room for it. But if you have brothers and sisters as well, talk to them and see amongst yourselves, what you want,
Glee: Hmm,
Louise: do the old
Glee: like
Louise: claim. I want that.
Glee: wants it. I feel that. Yeah. I think it's very good that you mentioned that. um, to start with saying that these are the, your stuff are really great because I think, for us kids, We just bluntly say that, Oh, it's not useful anymore. Like you say, it's the bad things right
away.
So I guess that's
why.
Louise: Yeah. And it's the emotions you've got to watch out for. Right. Cause we all love our stuff, what we have, it's our stuff. And it's what we're attached to. It's what we're passionate about. And if someone comes at us and said, you know what, you got too much stuff. I don't want it. Let's just get rid of it.
It's like, Whoa.
Glee: Yeah,
yeah,
Louise: we get that. Think of it and being in their shoes. Right? yeah. It's a tough one, but it's start slowly.
Glee: And one of the things that also you're passionate about the decluttering part that provides calmness in our lives. So how does it, integrate with this, calm in our lives? just by
decluttering our homes.
Louise: with clutter, some of us really, we don't stop and think about the actual effects it has on us. So we kind of know it has some sort of effect, right. We walk past something and we're like, Oh, wow. That kind of sends a message to the brain. I, to deal with that. And you walk past it five times before you do anything with it, maybe more than that.
So then you have brain clutter when you have so much stuff. So, what we need to do is create a system, like keep it regularly, actually maintain it with our habits and routines. And when you see you have too much stuff, there's a lot of triggers that cause us to have too much stuff. So going a little deeper.
I know this is kind of deeper in the question, but I have the acronym the top six reasons why we collect clutter, which is reason and retail therapy emotions. Assigned time. S for sentimental over overwhelming and can't say no. So what you need to do is really look into this and discover the triggers of why we're holding onto clutter, because clutter affects us in our health, our finances, and it robs us of our time.
Right. So, you imagine when a well. we're not leaving our homes as much lately, but you know, when you're rushing out the door and you're trying to find your keys, you're trying to get the kids ready for school. And they've got backpacks and lunches, and you're just like the stress level goes up so high.
You'll leave the house and perhaps you're heading to work or you go into business, then you're really now have all this adrenaline rush. And you're just feeling really, really stressed. Then you come home. And the house is chaos. So what's the first thought your first thought is like, ah, I gotta do all this.
And then it just starts again. Right. Whereas our home, I feel, and what I believe is that it should be our sanctuary don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's always going to be a hundred percent perfect. Cause mine definitely is not. But we need to keep on top of it. So we're not feeling like we have fuzzy brain.
I call it fuzzy brain, you know, when you can't focus and you're like, I've got to do this? I've got to do that. And there's so much going on in our lives that when we can have calm in our lives, we allow for abundance. We allow for creativity. There's just so much that comes in and you can actually focus and spend time with your family and really listen to them and really not be thinking about, I've got to do that pile of dishes over there.
I've got to pick up all that stuff over there. So it really affects us in so many ways. And our health. We sometimes make, not so good health choices because we, don't enjoy being in our home. Right. Or we don't like cooking. So we don't, make good meals because we're just not really feeling comfortable or we do a lot of takeaway.
It heightens our anxiety can cause depression. I know I'm kind of bringing the conversation down, but you know, there's all these things that we need to think of that clutter really does have a hold of us. really a lot of, scientists now are actually studying it and it's becoming a real thing, I guess you call it right.
there's a lot of studies happening all over America about it now.
Glee: thank you for, going deeper into that question. And I have like a very funny article that I came across with, which is also related to a study, but like on the different spectrum. So it's an article from Independent.co.uk that you, I, when I was like searching for anything about decluttering, it just came up and then it said that intelligent people tend to be messy.
So apparently this study in the university of Minnesota that suggests the link between geniuses and their intelligence. So. this is just a fun take. So what is your take on it?
Louise: I love that. I think that's really funny and, and I know intelligent people will be like wow, that's probably me. Um, there, there are so.
Glee: I'm, messy, you know? Like, and something like um, I in Stein's table was also like messy. I don't know. Like maybe it's just because it's Einstein. Not because he's, um, messy. That's why he's a genius or something.
Louise: It's really funny , Einstein, cause I've actually used a couple of his quotes and I can't remember off the top, but he talks about clutter and probably because he's, you know, the brain is like going constantly, so they have everything. But one really interesting thing is you can seem messy to other people.
But you can know exactly where everything
Glee: Ah,
Louise: different. So they might have piles of papers. And then you say, can you grab me that report? And you're like, yeah, sure. Here it is. You know what I mean? So it's,
everybody's so different. So I really liked that take on it actually. But Yeah.
Einstein, what he was actually well-known for like his clutter and he actually quoted about it quite a
Glee: Hmm,
Louise: you said that.
Glee: it was, it was, it was, so funny that, people, when they see these types of articles in the internet, You know, we tend to Oh, I'm also like this one, I'm like this one because it said, you know, so what, it's a, it's a funny, it's a funny thing, but I guess, I mean, it's, as you said, it's, everybody's different and My messy is not other people's messy. As long as maybe people are
hygienic or something.
Louise: Yeah. Yeah. There's a difference between that. Hey, if you've ever seen like the hoarder shows and stuff like that, there are interesting, there's, there's a different kind of perspective in there too, but yeah, being cleans kind of actually, and I'll admit myself, I don't like cleaning. I'm an organizer, but I don't like cleaning.
Glee: uh, me,
I'm the opposite. Um, actually I'm very messy, but I like cleaning. Like I'm so bacteria freak, I really like cleaning, but it's just messy. Like the messy, like the arranging, the arranging
part is difficult for me.
Louise: Right. And that's where it's really good, because I guess being maybe in the opposite, I might housecleaning. I could leave it. I'm like, I mean, I don't, but it's like, it's not my favorite thing. Getting rid of clutter and sorting it, love it where people kind of do think I'm a little weird that way, but that's Okay.
Glee: Ah, yeah. Well, that's very interesting. And at least now like, Oh, it's not really, it's not always like, the same as
you mentioned, but yeah, very
Louise: Well, and, and now that you say that, we also talk about organizing to our processing modalities, so don't get to, but you know how we have the eight modalities, so
processing to that as
Glee: eight modalities.
Louise: So If you are creative, if you are kinesthetic, kinesthetic,
um, if you're an audio person, if you're visual.
So it really, that really plays a big part into it too, which I find really intriguing as well. And that's what I help people with too, because just a quick example, if you have your home office and say, if you're a visual person, like if you put things away, You forget about it. And that's actually a big, a lot of us, right?
It's like, I put this away, I make it look pretty. And then you're like, Oh, I forgotten where, what I have. But if you have an office where you can organize it, you have open shelves, but make it look pretty, then you feel better because you can see it cause you're visual. But then somebody asked that could drive them a little crazy because they're like, that's going to annoy me seeing all that stuff.
I need it hidden away. So you see that like, How it affects us that way too. So yeah, I just thought I'd throw them.
Glee: that's good. That's good though. Thank you for mentioning that. what is your advice on the first step that we need to do to change the mindset of accumulating clutter or being disorganised?
Louise: Yeah, for sure. Great question. it can be a, loaded question, but the first thing I always say is let's really look at why we're holding onto clutter, where it comes from, you know, the acronym I suggested is it because when, you're triggered, emotionally, do you go shopping? Is it
sentimental your hope.
Right. Ah, God, you busted. You're like, yep. That's me. So, and then, you know, so what we do is we switch that mindset. Okay. I feel triggered. I actually don't really need anything, but let's go for, coffee with a friend or let's find something else. When you notice that trigger happening. But just to really be aware of that and get to the root cause of why you're collecting and can't let go, but just sort of on another way, how you can do it is, commit to it.
And make it like an actual priority, which I know a lot of us don't we kind of go, I'll do it later. And you know, it's, it's not important, but you know, if you, you know, when you're cleaning it, like you're doing your house cleaning, how good that feels. So now we need to change that projection to having less stuff and not being messy and saying, I want that feeling of, you know, how good that feels when I put stuff away.
But then it's also having a place for everything as well. and that makes it easier. But if we were to go back to just sort of say, how are you going to start to declutter? What I would suggest for people is get a spot in your home that you can kind of leave boxes.
So grab some boxes that you can do the categories donate, keep sell, trash. And then have that set up and then go through the areas, like do them in small, tiny tasks is what I call them. I don't know if you've seen, like some say, pull everything out all at once. Like pull your whole closet at it all at once.
And then that just gets overwhelming and
you
won't finish
Glee: Some TV shows. I think
Louise: do.
Glee: I think I
Louise: Yeah.
I'm trying not to name names, but, but you know, there's
other,
Yeah,
Glee: But it's okay. It's okay.
Louise: yeah, So, so, you know, and that's one way of doing it, which, it's great. And you get to see it, but who has six to eight hours to go through the closet and put it
back?
Not me. I don't. And I don't actually, I know I said I like decluttering, but I don't like it for six or eight
hours a day. Right. That's
Glee: Yeah.
Louise: So, so Yeah.
so what I suggest is get boxes, totes, anything, put them in an area of your home. That's not going to cause any issues, but commit to it, put it in your calendar and say by the end of the week or two weeks, I'm going to have my closet done.
And just spend 10 minutes, 15 minutes every night, going through your closet. And what you'll always find is actually it's a really big knock on effect. Go through the simple things first. So things that you know, that you can get rid of quite easily and then work your way up to the harder items. You know, the items you're keeping because.
Just in case I can fit into them again one day just in case. Right. Then you're kind of like, you're really ready to let go. Cause you're making that decision, but that's kind of how to do it really quickly. And, because people sometimes say start with the hard things first, but if you start with the hard things, you're not going to continue on.
Right. Because you don't feel good about yeah. So that would be my suggestion
for people.
Glee: Oh, Thank you. so much for that advice. I remembered something that, I'm looking at some, Instagram, you know, photos and, you know, decluttering is like a thing now as well, especially in the Philippines and, most of the home organizers, they, buy more stuff to organize their homes.
like, labeling and stuff. what is your take on it?
Louise: Yeah.
I'm a little different from that. So I actually, it's a great question too, because, when I talk about like the three top mistakes, the one of the top mistakes is thinking you need more organizing products and you really don't. Right. You know, maybe occasionally you might need a little bin or something to put things
in, but when I help people, they have so much organizing stuff.
They're like, but I don't know what to do with it, and I don't know how to use it. And then what happens is when they declutter, they don't need it. And it's like, okay.
I didn't need that to buy that new shelving or, you know, so it's really interesting. So it's a good question. But we just think we're hiding it.
Is what's happening as like, if I could just hide it, then it'll be fine. But then when it's behind those doors or in those bins, can you remember what's there? Do you know really? Do you need it? So it's really going into those questions and be more, more mindful of it really, instead of just putting a bandaid on the problem,
that's what I call it.
Glee: I'm glad that you, you have the same sentiment or something, or your same style, because actually I tried like just looking at Instagram, all people are buying this some very nice canister where I can put my, like coffee or tea and these things. of course they look very aesthetic and then I tried it, but I think it just works differently for other people.
It's not like, you know, one style fits all because I tried buying it to put the cereals and stuff. And then in the end, When I bought another couple of cereals or after, you know, several groceries, I didn't put it back.
Louise: Oh, no, but, and that's a habit you don't know until you try it. Right. And, but we see so much social media and it's like, okay, but that that's got to be, if they're doing it, then I'm doing it too. Right. That's gotta be the right way. So yeah.
I think it's a really good take. And another thing is I really encourage not to have things on your countertops.
Maybe a couple of things, but I'm really big at not having that. And a couple of reasons is because it keeps the room decluttered, but it's also quick for cleaning, you know, like you don't want to have to be picking up things all the time and it's, you know, it's kind of the end. Like I told you, I don't like cleaning.
So I'm like, if I can do it quick, then I'm happy, but Yeah. that's good that you tried, but you know,
Glee: Yeah, it just didn't work out for me, but yeah. So that's why, I guess, I guess that's where the home organizers come in, because they would need to understand the personality of the person. Not like just me, like, Oh, looking at Instagram, it's very aesthetic. I buy these canisters shelves, whatever do labeling, but you know, like without, without really
consulting.
Louise: Yeah, it, it totally right. And we all do there's, you know, there's a lot of organizers and like you said, it's becoming a really big thing now. And we all have different styles and I'm not like minimalist, but I'm like, let's just have less stuff. And, and like I said, I'm not a naturally organized person, but what helps me get organized is having less stuff.
So that's why I want people to realize that because we've become kind of a materialistic. Without actually realizing it. I think because we have so much, we have easy access to stuff. Like I said, it's so affordable. We can go online it's just, it's really easy to get, but we've kind of forgotten that, you know, when you end up, some people will have.
10 potato peelers. They have, all these different things in their kitchen. They have all these gadgets. Right. And it's really funny cause I'm like, Whoa, I have a knife. I don't need to get all those little gadgets. I can cut things here. I'm thinking of like a strawberry huller if I need to say that word right.
Or, you know, an avocado slicer or an egg slicer, I'm like, but I can do that with a knife. Why do I need, so, you know, it's great if people use them, but half the time they don't. So it's kind of changing that mindset. Right. And it's like, I've had my pots and pans for like 16 years and I've had, which sounds relate, but they're still really good quality.
And, you know, I keep my things for a really long time. So, I think buying good quality stuff too helps as
well. Right.
Glee: Yeah, totally agree with that. it's just changing the mindset, as you mentioned, because let's say, you know, you see these cheap things in, on the internet, like, Oh, let me just buy this, but I have a very good pan though, but it's too heavy for me.
forgot the name Lecreause or something like the French
Louise: Oh, okay.
Glee: Level or something, but it's so hard to clean
Louise: But he keep it though.
Glee: anyway, So, before we wrap things up, I wanted to ask you some fun questions, unrelated to decluttering. aside from your profession, what are you most passionate
about?
Louise: that's a very good question. I am passionate about, camping. I love being outdoors, and living in Canada right now. Cause I'm from New Zealand originally. And living in Canada Alourmonths are like three months of the year. We have summer. It's quite different. So I've loved being out in nature and just like having that campfire and, and it was funny.
Cause growing up, I never used to like it. I always wanted to go stay in a hotel, because we did it all the time, but now I'm like me and my son and my husband. We love it. Just hearing the water yeah, that's, that's what I'm and we're going next weekend. So super excited.
Yeah,
Glee: Oh, Oh, enjoy, enjoy. me, I'm, on to the more of the city's life, but, but I noticed like a lot of Australians and Kiwis, they prefer nature, I think, but maybe because of the very good, natural resources here as well. So it's easier to hike the, things that you can access.
Louise: Yeah.
definitely. And in Calgary where I'm, you know, I'm close to BAMF, which is really famous mountains and Lake Louise, ah, it's appropriately named right.
It's called Lake Louise. Um, So yeah, we have easy access to it, so it's amazing. And it just clears the mind. Huh? Not, Not,
bringing it back to clutter.
Glee: Yeah. Nice. Nice. And so if you had to delete all but three apps from your smartphone,
which one would you keep?
Louise: Oh, am I allowed to keep?
Netflix? I would have to keep Netflix. That's my, I, I w that's an app, right? Yeah. I'm like, I am. Yeah.
Okay, cool. I'm searching. I'm like thinking was that through the website, but I'd have to keep that one. And I would have to keep calm, which is a meditating app, because that really helps me and.
Ooh. I like this question. Now I have to like, look at my phone. you know what, I would get rid of my social media. I'm going to have to say that. Sorry, social media. But I would keep, you don't what? And it's funny cause I have triple J the Australian radio station.
Yeah. So they're from Sydney, the Australian radio station. I actually have that app on my phone and I listened to that all the time. So yeah, because music, I love that music. So I would have,
that's a good
Glee: Oh,
okay. Okay, great. Ah, that's nice. one last fun question, if you're going to sail around the world, what's the name of your boat?
Louise: Oh, Oh, that is awesome. I love that. I thought you were going to ask me what would be my destination now. I'm like, Ooh, I have to think about that. Well, I'm not very creative with that. Can I go with something like, freedom that's what comes to my mind.
Glee: Okay. Then it's
Louise: we'll go with that. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Glee: Great. what are your top tip for our Zesties when decluttering
their homes?
Louise: Yeah. So top tips is a, make it a priority. Really set it as a, a necessity in your life. If you're wanting to create that space in your life and your home, I would put it in your calendar because if you don't schedule it, it's like an appointment. Right. Then you won't do it. So schedule it in like an appointment.
And another really great tip is to change that mindset, to know that you can really live with that stuff. And another really cool one I just was thinking of, I
would pack, I don't know if you've heard of the minimalist.
I did the packing party, but I would pack things away.
Have you heard it that one
Glee: Hmm. No, I haven't. I heard about the minimalists, but I'm not really
in depth.
Louise: Yeah. So what they did was, one of them actually packed up their whole house. And they were still living there. And what, I'm not suggesting you do this, but what, but what they do, it was as he needed stuff, he pulled it out and then he realized he didn't open half of those boxes. So sometimes you could do that is just actually pack some things away that you're undecided about and see if you actually really do miss it.
And I think that's a really good way to kind of change that mindset. It's like, well, I didn't use it in six months. I don't need it. So I think that's a really good tip and that way, and I was thinking of one more final tip. I think I did mention it before, start with the easy things first. think of it as layers. And just saying, I'm going to go with the easy one that I'm going to see how this feels, and then I'm going to go onto the next thing, but don't feel bad if you go back and forth to the item, because I've had clients that will actually take a week to, declutter something. So don't, don't push it. It's a process. And I think that's a really big thing thinking of it as a process, rather than if it's done straight away, if you're really struggling with things.
Glee: Thank you so much for your tips. they're quick to remember and I think it would resonate to a lot of, especially me.
Louise: excellent.
Glee: And then, so where can
our zesty find you?
Louise: Yeah, sure. So I'm on Instagram as the Space Reclaimers. I have my website, thespacereclaimers.ca, and then I have a Facebook group and it's a private group. So it'sWho Loves to Organize. So with that group, it's great. Cause we do some workshops. We do some tips and strategies. And really help you learn how to let go of stuff and declutter and, and try and do it in 15 minutes a day.
So it doesn't feel like a full-time job. Right. So, yeah. and I think that's probably the best places to find me where I hang out.
Glee: Oh, thank you so much, Louise, for this wonderful and enjoyable conversation, I've really learned a lot and I'm sure our Zesties have resonated with your tips and our
stories as well.
Louise: That's awesome. Thank you, so much for having me. It's been a pleasure to speak with you and I really enjoyed it. Thank
you,
Glee: Hey, Zesties, hope you learned and had fun with today's episode. I'm curious to know which part of the house you'd like to declutter, or if you're like me, who's struggling in that area then which space do you least like to declutter? Let me know in the comments or feedback, stay tuned for next week's episodes.
Do you want to understand yourself and others?
Why do others react differently than we expected?
Our guest, a Certified Public Accountant in the Philippines and entrepreneur shares about the book she've read called Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. We talked about the four personality types namely the Popular Sanguine, the Powerful Choleric, the Peaceful Phlegmatic and the Perfect Melancholy.
Learn more about the combinations and how do we interact harmoniously with other personality types.
The types are not used for labelling, but a way to provide some context into our our colourful personalities.
Follow Khen: https://www.instagram.com/khentapdasan
Zestie shoutout: Gerson Velmonte, thanks for the coffee!
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Excerpt transcript:
Khen: Yeah. Actually I'm this personality type temperament theory.
I've got that in the book personality plus from Florence Littauer she's an American author and have been studying personality for 25 plus years already. And I'm really, amazed with this book because. It has comprised all the behaviors for me to know more about people. So the four personality types, according to her and to the book is that we have sanguine when we call them popular sanguine.
When we have the perfect melancholy, the powerful choleric and the peaceful phlegmatic. So there are two impairments and according to Florence she said that every person has inborn temperament. So these are our raw material. This is who we are, but , we are harnessed and being changed through circumstances, experiences, and environment.
That's why we create different personality types. So there will be combination of the fourth temperament that makes sense. People unique and becomes who they are. So that's basically the personality equip the environment theory.
Glee: Oh, all right. So there are adjectives before the temperamental.
could you take us through what comprises, why they are described that way?
Khen: I believe Florence need that name to describe every personality. So for example, a sanguine when Florence, the author made it called popular because sanguine, when personality are really very enthusiastic.
They are popular because they become life of the party. So, as we go along, as we thought through with each personality, maybe you would be thinking who are those people? So I'll just share some of the characteristics of sanguinebites. So they are expressly active and they're really loved people. They get their power when they have a lot of people around them, they are outgoing and.
Mostly they're good in telling stories because they are fun. they're inspiring and charming. And probably they're also good on stage because they're really lost people. So, especially when you are outside they're really good in speaking. Also sanguine wins, have memory for callers.
So for example, even if it's very basic work like cooking popcorn, they make it more enjoyable. They make people happy and also sanguine twins are like a child. They are wide eyed and very curious, creative and colorful. Also sanguine greens are really cannot say no. So these are the negative things of sanguine Wednesday.
You cannot say no, because we are people pleasers. So they want to be people around them and it be in the end, they could not say no, they're always saying yes, even if they don't can handle every appointment that they said yes to. And because of their. Fun, and expressive personality.
They make friends easily, but feel your true friends because they forget. So, aside from popular sanguine when they have opposite. So the opposite of a sanguine good person out of the, or the melancholic. So melancholy colleagues actually Are the thinker.
So, if this outfit is the Fokker, the "Melan" colleagues are the thinker and the planner because I'm built are these organized, but melancholic, they are organized. There is a story about melancholy in the book that there was this guy who actually go to the office and he could not start working with us even.
Aligning all their, all his pencils in the desk. So that's how organized he is. And melancholic are analytical people. They love to analyze. They will love to see graphs and charts. They want to study on their own and they are also neat and diabetic. Most of the colleagues. We really need them to be very serious and purposeful.
And the perfect term for melancholia is, or they are perfectionist. They have ideal standards, but also very emotional because they are compassionate and the are, have deep concern with others. And also "Melan" colleagues are the geniuses of the world. So, the best example of that Florence sampled in the book is Michael Angelo, the painter in the Sistine chapel.
If you could imagine Michael Angelou finish that. The painting for four years in chief Suzanne chocolate, because he wanted it to be perfect. So that's there are intellectual and also they are detailed, conscious once straight to the point and they six ideal mate. So that's perfect. My lung colleagues and another personality are the corollary.
So. This is another sanguine. When is an extrovert outspoken? Now I'm calling are introverts and Kolarik is another extrovert. Personality. So cholerics are the leaders of the world. They are born leaders. So mostly they get their way the are compulsive and strong-willed. So if you've met people, like they really wanted to have their way, they want to have to do their own way.
So they are polarity, they're decisive and cholerics are goal oriented people. So they always wanted to do things their own way and finish it, even if they are not being sensitive or B, because they are focused on the result. So that's one of the downside of being a corollary because different gaps to be sensitive is they want the goals to be done no matter what, whatever it takes.
And of course if Neyland are also loves to work, cholerics also loves the work, but they delegate it so they know how to delegate work. And usually they're good in debate. so, sometimes it's scary to find a corollary because they can be very strong. there's also the other personality, which is the exact opposite of cholerics.
They are the phlegmatic. So. when they say from the word beast, what very new wanted to make everything peace. So they come the crowd.
they have low key personality. So sometimes you see like MAPICS at the back of the background that just listening and observing phelgmatics has many friends because you can never go wrong with the phlegmatics. They're really friendly, easy going and easy to get along with because they both argue.
They just always say yes and Black are good listeners. So they listen to you. If you want to, someone to talk to, you can go to Aflac. They're also patients with you and very happy. Yeah. Just easy going. And it has administrative ability. So one of the example that we can give to like Malbecs are the like negotiators or there's a, there is this book I've also read.
About hostage negotiators. So these are flat MAPICS because they know how to come and reconcile equal. So that's basically the temperaments and they are opposites and similar.
Glee: I think that even though these types of tests, there are different personality tests out there and. We cannot really label a person for a specific trait, but of course, this just helps us to understand people more, not labeling them, but understanding them. So aside from that, so can you take us through, like, what are the benefits of understanding these personality types as we go through life?
Khen: Yeah. I actually, I agree with you when you said D that yeah, instead of changing them, we should understand them. So, basically that's the purpose of the book and the book says understanding yourself. So that you can also understand the others. So the benefit of knowing your personality types is really knowing that you are unique, that we are unique in each of each person is unique.
It's combination of your personality is unique. And knowing your strengths, your weaknesses, and who you really are, could really make you understand yourself more. And there is this dating from John Maxwell his his one of the. Well known best-selling author and speaker. He said that successful people work hard in knowing themselves.
If you know who you really are, then you know how to become the best of who you are and, you know, your inner selves improve your personalities. And by doing that, you will also understand and get along with others very well. Probably that's one of the basic benefits that this book gave me personally with my own story, knowing myself I actually took that's 11, 10 or 11 years ago.
Yeah. I've read the book when 30 11, so that's 10 years and I tested myself. And it's, it went that I have sanguine wind. And culinary combination. So, but there are not really far like, we have sanguine wind for 16 points and 15 points for clarity. So knowing that I understood that, Hey I want that to go out.
I wanted to meet people. That's why I sometimes have a lot of friends and I have a lot of. Appointments troffers or meeting people. And sometimes I could not meet all of them because I, I understood that saying yes, so that I will please people, but I am not that committed in, in my, yes. So. That made me understand that.
That's why I could not say no because I'm a people pleaser and I could not relapse because I'm not Teleric I always wanted to be goal oriented. So that's what happened to me. And at the same time, it made me analyze and understand people. Not same as me because. Before, of course you B I understood that.
If I'm right and if you want also to confirm that you're the other side of me, you're the introvert, the "Melan" and the Phleg personality. Yes.
Glee: Yeah. I'm totally am like, even, I think I took that test before, but I forgot what the combination was, but melancholia is the perfect description for me.
So.
Khen: Yeah. Yeah. I also agree. So this more, I thought that I should be like you, right? Cause sometimes when we always eat something we don't have. Right. So, it made me realize, knowing the book that I should not copy any other personality and I should be also understand others because they are different for me.
And we could leverage each other's strengths. So. Yeah. So that's really one of the benefits. Of this book and thank you for her affirming that my guess is right.
Glee: Yeah, I took the test years ago. I think that was when we were talking about it as well, but I forgot the combination, but I'm very sure I'm melancholic. If we're going to take the test today, let's say we've took the test 10 years ago.
Do you know if there's a possibility that. The personalities changed or the combination
Khen: changes? that's a very good question. My answer is yes, and even the book said that because of our personality though, we have our inborn environments, but we are changed according to our experience, our environment.
And sometimes we undergo masks of survival. The book tells us that. For example, if for us, we are a contents, right? So if I am a when, and my work is on that content, so sometimes I copy other personalities so that I could be now land because I contents are really, should be detail oriented. So in the end, probably you will also change your personality.
When you took the test, it might change, but you then given a circumstance like an emergency, your true personality will really reveal. If I must sanguine when in my role in that area and I'm becoming Nehlen because of my work, but when I'm given an urgent path, I'll be astounding.
I'll go back to on my original personality, but we can change. And the goal actually of the book is really to balance your personalities, according to your environment, according the people you deal with.
Glee: so it's like , you can adapt to a certain trait.
Or temp paramount based on the circumstance. However, when an emergency situation arises. So your actual, or your raw material will prevail if you could help us, cite some examples of popular figures. About which one is melancholic or which one is sanguine, if you could share.
Khen: Yeah, sure. One of the popular, sanguine wins are it's a Filipina. Okay. Yeah, sure. Okay. So if you're really popular sanguine good examples for Philip for Filipino actors is Alex guns. I got number one, YouTube here in the, and so as you can see, she talks too much and, but she's fun in a way, right?
The opposite courtesy. There is the melancholic. So Tony is narcotic. That's why they're very opposite. I know their "Melan"s as what I've mentioned, way back is Michael Angelo. So the pain was seen third another example for For me, I must sanguine good. My sister is a "Melan". So you are a "Melan".
And famous personality for cholerics? Probably there are the president. Some of the people I've known having cleric personality is one of my friends here in the Philippines. So, he is he's really caloric. He's a lawyer. And I could see that he knows he's waiting. cholerics also Are you goal oriented? he actually have a goal and he wants it his way.
And if you could also search one of example is Louis Carrillo his seamless leader and speaker in our community and he used to be an air traffic controller. So that's how he. He said that his hundred percent goal Eric and phlegmatic is one of my present day hero because I love this guy he's really so spoken, his name is Mike Wilson.
So he's actually the founder of CCG international. The one that, that I am connected with. his powerful phlegmatic, he wanted to do a work and they just lays around. So that's how phlegmatic are, but you know what. So like MAPICS can also be coloring in a way they have this iron wheel personality, if they wanted to.
That's why sometimes you should be also careful with black MAPICS because if they want something to happen, they are really focused and they wanted it to finish fast so that they could rest. Yeah.
We get to talk with Amy Yip, a Mental Fitness and Life Transformation Coach based in the US. She was in the corporate world for 16 years, and decided to quit her job at Google on 2020 to start pursue her dream of volunteering at Ghana, Africa.
One of her greatest learnings on her life journey so far is that: Your mindset, NOT your circumstance, makes all the difference in your happiness and success.
Mental Fitness helped her find the courage to pursue her dreams then pivot her dreams during COVID, which ultimately led her to where she is today with a thriving coaching practice while embracing the digital nomad life. She is passionate about bringing this to the world. To help others strengthen their mental fitness. To shift from surviving to thriving. To find their passions, author their own life story, let go of what they think they should be doing and follow their hearts.
In this episode, we talked about:
-
Mental fitness
-
The saboteurs that cause all your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, regret, shame, guilt, and unhappiness.
-
Tips to develop mental fitness
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Bonus for women Zesties: The dilemma of having babies or not, and what society tells us
and many more!
Connect with Amy: https://amyyipcoaching.com/
Zestie Shoutout: Gerson Velmonte, thanks for supporting the show!
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
Kersly Potter, an independent singer-songwriter from Cebu, Philippines. Being her vulnerable self in this interview, Kersly shares her innermost thoughts and emotions about her life being an indie artist.
Catch Kersley Potter on Spotify, Apple Music and on other music platforms.
Instagram: @kerslypotteristic
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Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
Welcome to the New Season!
In this episode, we are joined by Tor Njamo, a spiritual development and well-being coach. We'll learn about the different ways to harness intuition and develop our overall spiritual well-being.
We talked about:
- Visual Meditation
- Past life regression
- Crystal healing
- Tarot reading
Connect with Tor:
Instagram: instagram.com/tornjamo
Website: www.tornjamo.com
Podcast: The Spiritual Link
Featured Podcast: The Boringtastic Podcast
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Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Fundraiser link for the hospitalisation of my Father who is currently in the Philippines, please click below.
All your help is extremely appreciated!
------ But the show must go on. --------
Glee shares the changes, lessons learned and what's ahead of her podcasting journey.
Special thanks to Zesties who stuck around after all this time.
Welcome to the new Zesties as well!
Join the zesty community on:
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
Fundraiser Link for my Father's Hospitalisation in the Philippines:
Fundraiser: Help Us Save Our Father
------ But, the show must go on -------
New season, new name, more exciting episodes!
Re-branding to Gleeful Talkshow helps this podcast resonate better with #Zesties.
Thank you for all the old and new #Zesties who have listened through my journey of creating this podcast.
Join the zesty community on:
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- Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two :)
Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better!
Ramadan Kareem Zesties!
Featuring Maha Musabeh of The Link Show, this episode shares some of what Dubai has to offer.
There's certainly a lot, so this is definitely just a glimpse of it.
The Host, Glee, lived and worked in Dubai as an OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker) for around 3 years, and she shares some of the exciting things that she has experienced in Dubai - especially the food!
Maha, a Dubai local, shares her beloved city to the Zesties who haven't been there. She also debunked some of the old myths still lingering around. But for sure, this isn't lying around anymore these days - we certainly hope so!
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Hope you enjoyed this episode!
Got feedback?
Or want to be share your story at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
Any topics you’d like to feature on the show? Please reach out!
Vanilla Zest has now re-branded to Gleeful Talkshow.
Please connect through the following channels:
Website: www.gleefultalkshow.com
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Thank you for your support!
This episode explores the story of a budding Womanpreneur in the Philippines named Geezelle, and her passion to cultivate and revive the Filipino culture of drinking Sikwate (hot chocolate drink) using Tableya (local 100% dark cocoa).
She shares what sparked her into venturing into business, the struggles of a small, budding, local business and her tips for our Zesties who'd like to start their own.
We also briefly talked about our opinions on the Philippine agriculture and the educational system that only prepares students for the Corporate world.
We hope to bring insight to our #Zesties both in the Philippines and around the world through this inspiring and entertaining conversation.
Follow Geezelle on:
Website: Geemiz.com
IG: @tableyakisses
FB: fb.com/tableyakisses
Enjoyed the episode? Or Not? Let me know!
Want to be share your story at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
Any topics you’d like to feature on the show? Please reach out!
Vanilla Zest has now re-branded to Gleeful Talkshow.
Please connect through the following channels:
Website: www.gleefultalkshow.com
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Thank you for your support!
Featuring Bryan, the co-founder and creative genius behind ElemntoPH, we delve into the mind of a creative, the process of doing a creative work, and even trying out a personality test called My Creative Type , plus so much more!
I encourage our #Zesty community to try out this personality test and tag us on our Instagram!
Follow Elemento at:
Instagram: @elemntoph
Shop: www.shopelemento.com
Facebook: fb.com/elemntoph
Enjoyed the episode? Or Not? Let me know!
Want to be share your story at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
Any topics you’d like to feature on the show? Please reach out!
Vanilla Zest has now re-branded to Gleeful Talkshow.
Please connect through the following channels:
Website: www.gleefultalkshow.com
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Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
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Thank you for your support!
How is it travelling in the 'New Normal'?
Our guest, Katarina answers one of our #Zesties' questions.
Enjoyed the episode? Or Not? Let me know!
Want to be share your experience at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
Any topics you’d like to feature on the show? Please reach out!
Email: vanillazestpodcast@gmail.com
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Thank you for your support!
Menelyn, a highly skilled nurse with over 10 years of experience in both Philippines and Saudi Arabia, including experience in Infection Control, shares her experience on the after-effects of the Astra Zeneca Vaccine.
In Australia, both Pfizer and Astra Zeneca are available. More information on The Australian Department of Health.
In the Philippines, the vaccines are available through the COVAX facility. This is co-led by Gavi, the Vaccine Alliance, the World Health Organisation (WHO), and the Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness Innovations (CEPI), working in partnership with UNICEF as well as the World Bank, civil society organisations, manufacturers and others. More information on the vaccines available at the Philippine Department of Health.
There are news about clotting experiences of other recipients on the vaccine. Vanilla Zest Podcast and our Guest does not claim anything regarding this news, but only aims to share their personal experience and opinions about the vaccine.
Please consult your country's Department of Health and your doctor.
Vanilla Zest Podcast proudly presents... an exclusive talk with Jona of Backpackingwithabook.com.
Jona is an accomplished author, writer, poet, essayist and speaker, who maintains a travel column on TV5’s Interaksyon.com, and writes for Rappler and Sun Star Cebu’s travel section. She has also won numerous awards, including First Prize 2013, Palanca Awards (Cebuano Short Story Category) and 2013, Sinulog Writing Contest (Poetry and Personal Essay Category), and has spoken to prestigious platforms including TedxUSanCarlos Talk.
In this episode, we talk about what an empowered woman is for her, plus a lot of TMIs. We touched on topics about social injustices, race and gender pay gaps, to beauty pageants.
Follow Jona:
Website: Backpackingwithabook.com
Instagram: @backpackingwithabook and @homehums
Enjoyed the episode? Or Not? Let me know!
Want to be share your experience at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
Any topics you’d like to feature on the show? Please reach out!
Email: vanillazestpodcast@gmail.com
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Ways to support Vanilla Zest:
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Sharing my own experience and readings about how to manage procrastination (tendencies). Have you read the book entitled The Power Hour by Adrienne Herbert? I've shared some insights from the book as well as my own take on "the power hour" for a nocturnal person like me.
Happy listening! :)
Enjoyed the episode? Or Not? Let me know!
Want to be share your experience at Vanilla Zest? You’re very much welcome to do so! :)
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Email: vanillazestpodcast@gmail.com
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Ways to support Vanilla Zest:
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Share to your friends
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Share on social media
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Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
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Buy Glee and her guest(s) a coffee or two!
JL has worn different hats whilst she was in the Philippines. From blogger, to social media manager, to Red Cross volunteer, to martial artist, she was a Nurse by training. In this episode, the blogger behind ViajeraCebuana.net shares her experiences from getting that job offer to working as a nurse in the UK in the middle of the pandemic. Learn from her wins and struggles being a nurse in Bury St Edmunds, a historic market, cathedral town and a civil parish in Suffolk, England.
Follow JL:
Tinta Ni Hara Humamay
Viajera Cebuana Facebook Page
@viajeracebuana
@viajeracebuana_eats
Stef initially planned to take up medicine in Jakarta.
But like all plans, they change...
She shares her journey in Australia, as well as her thoughts about relationships and culture.
Tip: Listen to the very end of the conversation. You'll find some gem of advices and some funny tidbits.
Buy us coffee :)
Cams and Cez share how they started out the habit of reading and how this developed from being a form of entertainment to a form of solace. They shared their favourite authors, their current reads and some bonus learnings for our Zesties and Zestmates - so listen until the last bit! As Glee (the Host of Vanilla Zest) is not a bookworm, she aims to draw the passion of reading from these two brilliant minds - to her and to the listeners. Vanilla Zest Podcast intends to share stories and experiences from different types of people, in different walks of life, in order to entertain and inspire. We are not experts, but only passionate to share. Have a wonderful week Zesties and Zestmates!
This CurioZesty episode is me pouring out my heartfelt gratitude to those who have helped me and my family get through a very tough time last year 2020.
Thank you to our family, friends, colleagues, and strangers who have given their time, effort, donations (blood and resources) for my Dad. Of course, none of these are possible if not for God Almighty!
Vanilla Zest would like to increase awareness on the gift of giving.
There is a Benefit Concert to be held on 27 Feb 2021, 7:30 PH Time, for Nanay Carmen.
Kindly visit the Facebook page here: Benefit Concert for Nanay Carmen
Distinguished and Multi-Talented Young Performers will share their time and talent in our Virtual Stage this 27th February 2021 at 7:30 in the evening. Ticket price at only Php 250.00.
If you wish to purchase multiple tickets, it will better support this campaign.
All proceeds will go to Nanay Carmen to assist her medical and critical needs and concerns.
QR Code is provided on the page, otherwise here are some details.
ʙᴘɪ
ʙᴀɴᴋ ɴᴀᴍᴇ : ʙᴘɪ/ʙᴘɪ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ꜱᴀᴠɪɴɢꜱ ʙᴀɴᴋ
ʙᴀɴᴋ ᴀᴄᴄᴛ ɴᴏ. : 2939108109
ʙᴀɴᴋ ᴀᴄᴄᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇ : ᴊᴀᴄᴋʏʟᴏᴜ ꜱᴏʟɪᴀɴᴏ
ɢᴄᴀꜱʜ
ɢᴄᴀꜱʜ ɴᴏ. 09173288515
ɴᴀᴍᴇ : ᴊᴀᴄᴋʏʟᴏᴜ ꜱᴏʟɪᴀɴᴏ
If you are outside the Philippines, please liaise with Jackylou Soliano or Tonette Amy on Facebook. If having difficulties, Vanilla Zest will be able to help and liaise as well.
God bless you all!
Glee and Cez have been friends for years. They first started their friendship because of a similar hobby - watching anime! It started when Glee approached her about Rurouni Kenshin and anything about anime. Fast forward to 2021, Glee approached Cez again to talk about an entertainment similar to anime - Webtoons, and the things in between!
Buy us coffee :)
Many thanks for Christian and Josephine for sharing their wonderful story with us!
If any of our #Zesties and #Zestmates would like to share their story, experiences or opinions about life, relationships, career or anything in between, please let us know!
Email: vanillazestpodcast@gmail.com
IG: @vanillazestpodcast
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The fun facts were sourced from:
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-Valentine
https://westerlylife.com/february-is-the-month-of-love-and-romance/
https://epilepsysociety.org.uk/blog/link-between-saint-valentine-and-epilepsy
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0121737217300833
https://worldstrides.com/blog/2017/02/6-valentines-day-traditions-around-the-world/
Christian shares his journey to becoming a Covid ICU nurse as well as the effects of the Pfizer BioNTech vaccine he got recently. Josephine, Christian's fiancé, have a unique experience compared to Christian. She got the virus from work and shares how she is coping up and recovering from it.
Vanilla Zest Podcast doesn't claim to be an expert on any field of topic it publishes but only aims to share the unique experiences of their guests to inform and (in a way) entertain its listeners. The conversations are candid and are personal opinions of the host and the guests.
https://www.who.int/
www.tga.gov.au
www.australia.gov.au
A fellow introvert and a very close friend of the Host shares her dating experience on Tinder. So grab a chair, put on your headphones and listen on as she spills the tea and shares her hottest tips to get your super likes on the app. Want to share your story? Got feedback? Email us at vanillazestpodcast.com Instagram: @vanillazestpodcast Facebook: fb.com/vanillazestpodcast Available in Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your dose of podcasts.
A podcast for sharing the sweet, sour, but zesty flavours of life. Different stories from different perspectives designed to spice up your week. Covering relationships, career, well-being, and life events, Vanilla Zest and its guests aim to inpire, ignite and empower young adults. Hosted by a curious and sometimes socially-awkward introvert, Glee, who is passionate at sharing and learning how life unfolds. Join her and her Guests, as they share their unique points of view and candid conversations that in a way inform and entertain its listeners (#Zesties). Thank you for listening! Want to share your story? Got feedback? We’d love to hear from you!
Vanilla Zest has now re-branded to Gleeful Talkshow.
Please connect through the following channels:
Website: www.gleefultalkshow.com
Instagram: @gleefultalkshow
Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow
Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow:
- Share to your friends
- Share on social media
- Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page
- Buy Glee and her guest(s) a coffee or two!
Thank you for your support!