Moving Past Divorce Interview Series: Recent Episodes
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW
What you are about to hear is an interview of a couple, Paul and Michelle, who have been remarried for less than 5 years and they are raising four children from Michelle’s first marriage.
Mona explains that when he or she is critical, judgmental, or unreasonable, you can respond with more calm, clarity, and compassion than you are getting and change negative patterns of relating.
While adult children of divorce have double the risk of divorce compared to counterparts from intact homes, they can learn from their parents’ failed marriage and gain confidence in their ability to find lasting love.
Alyssa’s story is an inspiring one for all of us, and we are all capable of changing for the better like she did. It’s crucial to decide to build trust in intimate relationships if you want to find lasting love. Rather than always taking a reactionary stance, try to operate from a viewpoint that your partner wants the best for you and won’t abandon or hurt you. Let your partner prove, through word and deed, that he or she is trustworthy.
Mistrust can come in many forms, from suspecting partners of infidelity, to fearing that they will abandon you emotionally or physically. Some women, like Elizabeth, freeze out the option of finding love, for fear of being hurt. Others become “relationship junkies” looking for partners to be the salve for their wounds.
In this episode, Tanya, a daughter of divorce who is 34 and married with two children, explains how she was able to heal a wound with her father that existed because he was absent from her life after her parents’ divorced. Listen and learn why Tanya left her dream life in California to come back to the East Coast to reconcile with her father when he became very ill. Tanya tells us how understanding, accepting, and forgiving her father helped her heal the rift between them. It has also given her the courage to trust others and forge healthy relationships.
Real love means risking occasionally getting your feelings hurt; it’s a price you have to pay for intimacy.