Sexual Addiction:Strength/Hope/Recovery: Recent Episodes
Sex Help with Carol the Coach
Sexual Addiction requires that you know the tools to seek and manage recovery. Learn the strategies to restore your life.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Melissa Roberts and she talks about the many betrayals in her life and how she used God and Therapy to find post traumatic growth! Behind The Smile: Healing From Abuse, Trauma, and Betrayal by.John Sturnfels This an inspiring, true story of how one woman overcame emotional and psychological damage from childhood abuse, trauma, and a sexual partner's betrayal. Melissa Roberts and John Sternfels's study on childhood abuse and its lifelong effects is a beacon of hope for those seeking to overcome trauma and to live a life with affirmation and purpose.
Carol has an upcoming HHH group and she wants sex addicts to learn empathy the right way. Listen as she shares what this group offers to men who lack empathy!
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Taylor Chambers who has devoted his life to helping men become -resilient and to find freedom and liberation from his addiction and live a healthy life with intimacy, integrity and intention. He explains, "My life journey and career changes led me to develop unique approaches for those who struggle to establish or maintain recovery. Individuals can get stuck in their efforts to become sober. In fact, sometimes obsessing about sobriety can backfire. But I believe a lot of growth is still available for those who have not yet dropped addictive behavior. It can be helpful to widen the focus beyond behavioral change, to larger goals including what I call "fearless sexuality." This involves becoming unafraid of sexuality through intention, integrity, and intimacy. Fearless sexuality can be developed by examining one's relationship to sexuality, developing self-compassion, engaging deeply with values (particularly in intimate relationships), and by applying mindfulness principles."
Today CSAT therapist Jonah Anderson and Carol the Coach will be discussing ADHD so that people can have a better understanding of what it is like to live with this condition. He wants to educate people about the challenges, difficulties, and pain that comes with this condition. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is probably one of the worst aspects of ADHD, which is responsible for the severe emotional dysregulation that accompanies ADHD. Like many people with ADHD, Ihe has always struggled with overwhelming emotions, but had no idea it was the result of ADHD.He wants people to understand how traumatic it is living in a world that doesn’t understand you, expects you to change, and you constantly feel gaslit your entire life, by everyone. He also wants people to know they aren’t their diagnosis."I want people to realize that ADHD is the issue that needs to be addressed, the relationship with addiction, and why it is so important in treating sex addiction. I would also like to provide listeners with some useful tools and coping skills. I want people to understand that language matters when communicating with someone with ADHD and that there are things people need to be aware of, such as punishment and negative reinforcement are the worst ways to affect behavior change in someone with ADHD."
Today CaroltheCoach will be interviewing Blaze Cosko, who uses a Mindfulness Based Addiction & Trauma Therapy approach to assist clients in working throught sex addiction and partner betrayal. MBATT is an evidence-based modality that helps empower individuals to become more aware of the subliminal patterns that lead their lives. By building mindful awareness, clients can become empowered to understand the stories that they are telling themselves, and find alternative perspectives that enable them to cope in more skillful ways. This can lead to more skillful outcomes during the therapeutic process. The MBATT approach can benefit both the addict & the partner. Today's podcast will have an emphasis on the addict and discuss ways to ultimately retain accountability & reduce the likelihood of self-sabotage behavior reemerging. CaroltheCoach herself is trained in this MBATT approach and uses it daily in her practice with clients. Find out why both she and Blaze feel it is essential to recovery when sex addiction has occured!
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Emellina Belle MA, LMFT, ASECT, who is going to be discussing the needs for partners to have a supportive space fto actively navigate the tumultuous journey of discovery or disclosure, dealing with complex trauma, and experiencing PTSD symptoms. She will be discussing the profound impact of partner sexual betrayal trauma on the brain, exploring the latest in neuroscience to help partners understand their reactions and responses, additionally supporting individuals who have transformed their pain into strength. We will be covering essential topics like the physiological effects of trauma, the science behind emotional triggers, and effective strategies for managing stress and anxiety. It's not just about surviving trauma. It is about thriving beyond it. She believes that therapists need to focus on Post-Traumatic Growth, offering practical advice and tools to help you actively rebuild trust, find inner peace, and foster resilience. Learn how to create boundaries, safety, and stabilization in your environment, establish healthy boundaries, and prioritize self-care. Join us for an insightful discussion as she offers valuable resources to actively support the healing journey. She would like for partners to discover how to turn their trauma into a pathway for post-traumatic growth, empowerment, and renewed hope.
We will be talking with the author of Determined for More, Shawna Meek, as she shares about her new book, an authentic memoir of a wife that was given God’s grace beyond her own strength. Shawna shares how she loved, wept, pleaded and grieved, yet never stopped fighting for something she believed was possible. Her story is a real and raw account of twenty-five years of striving and remaining willing to find faith-filled hope in Christ forged by painfully compounding losses. Coming into marriage with high hopes, Shawna faced a cascade of devastating events. Divorce, remarriage, betrayal trauma, emotional deprivation, and her husband’s late in life diagnosis with autism. This often left her with few options for healing and recovery, yet she persevered and remains determined for more.Shawna truly understands the roots of attachment distress in a marriage, even after addiction sobriety. Her personal story began in 2000, and after many years of mentoring women, she knew God was calling her to an extensive coaching training program and ultimately APSATS as a certified partner coach. She is passionate about supporting women as they face specific challenges on this journey, including boundaries during separation and divorce, abuse and gaslighting, therapeutic disclosure preparation, intimacy anorexia and deprivation, and emotional and sexual reintegration
People get to choose how they respnd to trauma. Today, Carol the Coach interviews Mellissa McDaniel wh wrote Loved Just As I Am a memoir about her choices. She explains, "We don't get to pick the traumatic events that happen in our lives, but we do get to choose how we let them write our story." In her debut release, Loved Just As I Am, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Melissa McDaniel, recounts how her idyllic life in the south was changed forever when she was sexually assaulted at age eleven.Using her deep faith, love of family, and firm belief that we are all enough, McDaniel skillfully owns her "crapola" while laying bare her feelings and actions, both good and bad. She shares her raw journey of processing her childhood wounds and her struggles as a young woman dealing with a violent ex-boyfriend, racism within her family and community, motherhood, addiction, and infidelity.Her fresh perspective and vulnerability withing the pages of this non-fiction memoir work to create a roadmap of healing for others like her to rise above pain, shame, and doubt. The result is a life guided by wisdom, freedom, and healing. This story is inspirational as is the author.
Today Carol will be interviewing Matthew Sinkovitz who is the founder of P*n to Purpose. He has a men's community on line and on FB with 1400 members who want to help each other in recovery. It is a group for men to rekindle their relationships. It is a place where they can go to redesign their life!
Today, Carol will be interviewing Stevie Hall and Lindsey Stanley who have felt that couples needed a guide to navigate reasons a therapeutic seperation could benefit the coupleship. They have a book pending release: Therapeutic Separation: A Guide for Couples Facing Addiction that will help identify the pros and cons for taking a time out. Their website for the book is: www.therapeuticseparations.com. They want to inspire couples to learn about the so that the couple can make informed decisions that acturally benefit the healing for both spouses. They want to provide information that can provide safety for couples to explore why taking a break might just be the right thing to do.
Today, Carol is interviewing Chayse Fayle, a Master Certified Professional Coach, APSATS trainee, and Certified Help Her Heal Group Leader. Chase is no stranger to the complexities of life's challenges, particularly in the realm of addiction and relationship dynamics. As the guiding force behind Resilient Mind's addiction and couple's coaching, Chase specializes in helping men and couples navigate the often-turbulent waters of overcoming addiction, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma.He believes that men desiring to walk in sexual integrity and who are desiring to build intimacy with their partners cannot do this alone. A key success factor is men’s small groups that center around the subject of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Specifically for this discussion is utilizing the Help.Her.Heal Workbook to guide, focus and build accountability for healing and recovery. The primary tools and exercises are Formal Disclosures, emotional check-ins using the Feelings Wheel, practicing AVR, regulating shame during Triggers, understanding Assertive Communication, and developing a sense of camaraderie and connection with other men. Groups benefit men with ‘shoulder-to-shoulder’ sharing, accountability to be authentic, and are beneficial with open and encouraging feedback allowed. Lastly, this fosters the growth and progression of couple centered recovery as the stages of discovery, grief and restoration take place.
Tonight's episode is about the gay culture. Jeff Aldeson is facilitating a Sex and Intimacy Group for Gay Men and Gary Katz is a LCSW, CSAT-S, EMDR who is a Certified Partner Trauma Therapist for Center for Intimacy Recovery. Together they answer questions that Carol has about men, sex, relationships and growing up gay. Carol the Coach wanted to do the show because she realized that she might need more education about working with gay men. She knew that her experience other than with friends and family, was fairly limited, so she reached out to the specialists and asked them to enlighten both herself and the listening community as to what the specialized needs might be for the gay community.Listen as she discusses the nuances of how the heterosexual populaion may be different from the gay population or perhaps the same. As Jeff points out despite the difference in upbringing and social norms, he believes there are more similiarities than differences!
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Kirsten D. Samuel, Coach, Author, and Speaker who wants to inspire woman to know that they can survive the devestation that has caused them. She explains that after 25 years of marriage, my husband revealed his addiction. He was caught looking at inappropriate images at work. Like most women who face this discovery, I immediately went into shock and disbelief followed quickly by anger and panic. I wondered what was wrong with me, became overwhelmed by a sense of failure, and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t believe in divorce but didn’t know how I could live with this man I no longer trusted. The journey to recovery was long, painful, and life changing. End of the story (my favorite part): I have a brand-new marriage with the same man. I want women who face a similar discovery to know that addiction doesn’t have to be fatal to their marriage. However, changes must happen within the relationship and within yourself to move beyond this betrayal and build a healthy relationship. Listen as Kristen shares the keys to regaining her life again!
Eddie Capparucci and his colleagues Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Alajna Bentley have collaborated on a book for women struggling with sex, love, and addiction. Going Deeper for Women: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Love and Sex Addiction is based on Eddie Capparuci's Inner Child Model for treating sex/ addiction. This Inner Child Model has been helpful to many men over the past 4 years and now the authors have specifically formulated it for women!
Today Carol the Coach will be talking to Josh and Charlene Lewis who are co-founders of programing for both the partner and the addict that have foundations in the works of Patrick Carnes.They have an intensive that is remote and they believe in making it easy for their clients. On this podcast they will be sharing their own hope, strength and wisdom that built their programing to get you the right tools to manage recovery and betrayal.
Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. David Fawcett who has written a new book called Under the Influence about the deadly effect that substances have in combination withcompulsive problematic sexual behaviors. When sex and drugs are combined repeatedly and compulsively, there is a high risk of developing what Dr. David Fawcett calls sexualized drug use. This condition is also referred to as paired substance and sex addiction or addiction interaction disorder.Unfortunately, the response from the professional community to sexualized drug use has been far from adequate. As Dr. Fawcett writes, “I have had countless clients come to me who have gone through well-known and otherwise exceptional drug addiction treatment programs that never addressed co-occurring behavioral addictions, most notably sex and addiction. Because of that shortcoming, those clients found themselves still struggling with sobriety and life in general.This book is intended to be a guide for individuals curious about their own sexualized drug use or the sexualized drug use of someone they care about, and for professional seeking more clinical information. The information contained herein provides insight, guidance, and relief to people struggling to break free from sexualized drug use, steering them toward affirming and satisfying sex and intimacy without the need for a mood-altering substances and behaviors. Questions:
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Amie Woolsey who has created a program for women who have experienced sexual betrayal and have decided to divorce to and move on to their next chapter.She teaches about the three pillars - Awareness, Acceptance, and Agency - when applied to a partner's healing journey, to enable empowerment and choice.She has offered a free workbook to get you thingking and to remember. that you have choices. She tells her partners, "Whether you're in the "Should I stay or go" mindset or the "What the heck do I do next?" mindset, this workbook is crafted to meet you where you are and provide clarity on the most crucial aspect of any decision-making proces.She believes, your mindset is the single most important part of any decision because you are the CHOOSER in your life. This workbook serves as your trusty guide, allowing you to explore your thoughts and feelings in the safety of your own space, at your own pace.When someone in your life has made choices that stripped away your own power to choose, reclaiming that power and becoming the CHOOSER is absolutely critical. Decisions made from a place of empowerment have the amazing ability to erase the paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice.If you go to Amie's website, you can print off as many copies of her workbook as you need to fuel your curiosity. Listen as she describes her program to support partners in any way she can.
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sam Louie who authored Passport to Shame From Asian Immigrant to American Addict. Sam explains that "Asian cultures are rooted in shame. They are known as shame-based societies because the lives, families, and mindsets of these cultures revolve around some aspect of avoiding shame to preserve familial and cultural honor. In Chinese culture alone, there are more than 100 different ways to describe shame. While some of them overlap with English versions of shame, such as a sense of disgrace and humiliation, many others help shed light on why and how shame is so pertinent among Asian cultures. Within the Chinese, some of the shame-related terms and references are: a nation’s humiliation/shame (i.e. bringing shame to yourself also brings shame to your family, ancestors, and community and your entire ethnic background and/or family’s country of origin); the old father-in-law carries the young daughter-in-law on his back to cross a river (in Chinese culture, it is considered inappropriate for a father-in-law to have physical contact with his daughter-in-law, thus equating how taboo it is to be associated with shame); and a person lives by face as much as a tree lives by bark and as much as a light bulb is covered with glass (i.e. stressing the importance of maintaining a positive and good-standing public image)."Listen as they discuss Asian culture and and how it is so deeply rooted in shame and why.
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake, who created his and hers, step-by-step, companion workbooks for helping couples prepare for, complete and heal after a full disclosure process. Since the books came out they are now training professionals to navigate these difficult waters with their clients, helping them to understand the infrastructure that underlies the Restoring Truth Model so that the disclosure can become the starting point for cultivating safety, trust, vulnerability and, ultimately, authenticintimacy for individual and relationship healing.
When betrayal has occurred, it's natural for couples to seek out marriage counseling in a desperate attempt to repair the relationship, only to be frustrated because he doesn’t know how to show empathy for the pain the betrayal he has caused her and she doesn’t know how to feel safe with someone who violated her trust so deeply.Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sherri Courtney and Laura Fisher who offers couples a solution that bridges the gap between the discovery of betrayal and couples counseling.Sherri and Laura have integrated the principles from Help Her Heal, Unleashing Your Power and Help Them Heal into their Help Them Heal for Couples Signature Program, which offers a comprehensive Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) based approach to healing a relationship when trust has been shattered through sexual betrayal. They will be offering a Help Them Heal for Couples Workshop in January that will introduce couples to the ERCEM model and help them learn how to progress together through the 3 stages of partner betrayal: Safety and Stabilization; Anger, Grief and Mourning; and Post Traumatic Growth.Sherri and Laura believe having the right help at the right time can make all the difference in relational healing and are committed to helping couples not only survive but thrive following sexual betrayal. Website: www.helpthemhealworkshop.comEmail: info@helpthemhealforcouples.com
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Nichols who has developed 12 Types of Gaslighting and 4 Types of Vulnerability Exploitation to help you both identify these maladaptive coping skills to make healthier choices.
Today Carol the Coach interviews Lisa and Andrew Reichel from Room to Heal. Room to Heal is a recovery residence in Charlotte, NC for men battling sex and addiction that breaks the mold of traditional sexual addiction recovery by offering men a more affordable option for immersive healing while providing intentional time apart for couples. They have a relationship-centered approach where both individuals receive coaching support while the addict is away and those coaches work as a team to keep the couple connected and safe in the relationship. Another unique aspect of the program is that the support doesn’t end when the addict returns home. Room to Heal will walk beside the couple through that transition and begin using the ERCEM method to process the anger and grief left by the betrayal. Their goal, like ERCEM is to ultimately help their couples reach deeper levels of intimacy than they ever felt possible.If you are considering a theraputic separation, feel stunted in your recovery as an individual or couple, listen up. This program might be your answer."The programming includes support for the partner and the relationship through the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM). Our goal is to help the addict build a rock-solid foundation for his recovery while guiding both individuals to the safety and healing needed to begin rebuilding the relationship."
Today Carol the Coach interviews Tina Wehner President of Hope and Freedom Counseling Services and Intensives. Tina will be explaining how going to a 3 day intensive can benefit the couple as they work at restoring their relationship.She explains that Intensives provide transformational results. She explains that "While we cannot cure sex addiction or heal from it's damage in 3-days we can help you uncover the roots of the spouses addiction, give the couple tools that include:1. For the addict-tools for sustainable sobriety2. For the couple-a roadmap to begin the process of rebuilding trust and healing from trauma.Our intensives allow us to do 6-months of therapy in three days and jumpstart what is needed to start rebuilding trust. She will be explaining how the intensive uncovers the roots of addiction and lays a foundation for trust and safety.
Do you ever feel like you need a guide for what to say to your children about the most important topics in their childhood? Do you want to understand why our society struggles with crucial conversations about consent, body safety, sexuality, masturbation, ography, and social media, and smart devices? Well today, Clint Davis, Counselor and Father, guides us through the how's, why's, when's and how to have these daring and pivotal conversations. Sexual trauma and overexposure to damaging content run rampant today and our children need to be protected and Clint will talk to Carol the Coach about how to do that effectively!
Today, Carol the Coach speaks with Jesse Pyles, whose niche is the underserved male partner. He believes that male hetersexual partners have a lack of resources and as a result likely deal with the fear, anger and sadness and loss alone. In this episode he shares the common myths a male may hear if his betrayal is shared. Join us for a fascinating conversation about the nuances of men who have been betrayed!
Today, Carol will be interviewing 2 professionals who have developed a program that speaks to the emotions that drive unwanted sexual behavior. Dr. Anthony B. Walker has a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Science, is an APSATS candidate and works as an addiction recovery life coach and recovery group facilitator with Choose Recovery Services and Luke Gordon, is a Certified Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma Coach and APSATS candidate. He is professionally certified through iPEC, trained in Brain Spotting, and is the co-founder of Choose Recovery Services. Together, they are passionate about helping men find lasting healing and transformation, overcoming unwanted sexually compulsive behaviors, and building healthy, fulfilling relationships.They visit with Carol today to discuss Choose 180, an online recovery group created to help men understand their emotions and how they affect unwanted behaviors.Find out why this program meets the recovery needs of men with compulsive sexual behaviors!
Aarti Chidambaram is Asia's sole APSATS-certified partner specialist. As a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS), she works with Partners of Betrayal Trauma. She is also on the Board of APSATS. Her approach to working with partners from “Discovery to Recovery©” focuses on practical tools to deal with complex issues. Facilitating one of the longest-running support groups in Singapore- and maybe in Asia, she is dedicated to helping partners find their voice and strength in the aftermath of betrayal.
A Certified Clinical ERCEM Specialist (CCES), Aarti also works with couples to help them navigate the murky waters of recovery after the devastation of betrayal. She is also an ERCEM Supervisor, helping other professionals with her skills and expertise.
She visits with Carol today to discuss a truly transformative partner retreat nestled amidst the breathtaking hills of South India! Open to partners at any stage of recovery, this retreat offers a chance to rejuvenate oneself through yoga, breathwork, mindfulness, trauma work, and group sessions. Embrace nature's serenity and discover your inner self while connecting with other partners, fostering strength and empowerment on this shared recovery journey. Let's heal and thrive together!
Todday Carol the Coach is interviewing Tera Brown who is a trauma informed Coach and Speaker. As an APSATS trainee, she specializes in helping people who have endured relational trauma create personal safety, emotional awareness and peace. She woke up from a lifelong pattern she wasn’t even aware of when after 16 years of marriage her husband disclosed his addiction, infidelity, and struggles. Tera saw how she learned to avoid her emotions and began her personal journey of growth and recovery that day. Since then, her personal journey has taken her on a roller coaster of learning and growing. Her passion has become to share with others the tools she has found to live life authentically and on purpose. Tera teaches balance comes from intentional choices and trusting yourself. Together with her business partners, Tera has created several experiential intensives including La Loba: The Woman Who Knows.
LA LOBA: THE WOMAN WHO KNOWS is an intensive weekend of grieving, growing, healing and hope. It’s designed to help you move forward through the trauma of sexual betrayal, supported by others each step of the way: (1) You’ll bravely identify some beloved things you have lost—casualties of addiction, abuse and/or abandonment. (2) You’ll pick up the broken fragments of those tragic losses, letting yourself “feel the feels” that accompany such acts of remembrance and mourning. (3) You’ll discover something beautiful that rises up to fill the void of what’s been forsaken. (4) You’ll take some newly empowered steps forward, moving yourself toward peace, resolution and self-restoration.
As a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of GASLIGHTING, Sarah Morales found the "traditional" definition was leaving people MORE confused about what IS and IS NOT GASLIGHTING; it was stigmatizing; it was perpetuating fear and a sense of powerlessness. SHE FOUND THAT THIS WAS NOT HELPING ANYONE! Her work in this field over the past decade has led her to create her OWN definition of GASLIGHTING - one that has helped her clients SEE THEMSELVES; one that has helped shift the power BACK IN TO THEIR HANDS.
LIsten as Carol the Coach interviews Sarah about her free DeConstructing Gaslighting Webinar and the other Courses and Certifications that she has to offer!
Carol the Coach believes that couples can get through partner betrayal and find post traumatic growth. Today, she interviews authors Joanna and Matt Raabsmith who along with Dan Drake, wrote Building True Intimacy:Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. In this book they describe about how couples can navigate some of the later stages of betrayal recovery as a team. Their roadmap helps a couple tackle issues like forgiveness and grieving, sexual reintegration, and building a thriving partnership. Using the skills and framework of the Intimacy Pyramid they will share how couples can work through some of the obstacles to full healing in their recovery journey. They have lived this journey and now they want you to find restoration too!
Today, Carol the Coach, Mary Kay Cocharo who wants to educate our listeners abou a new type of support and intervention.Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy is an integrative relational model at the intersection of philosophy, clinical theory, organizational methodology, and relational neurobiology. It aims at assisting couples to experience the most alive and joyful connection with each other while helping each other grow and develop their relational intelligence on the path to relational maturity. It inspires couples to become not just good couples but creative couples! In the stage of Intimacy Building, EcCT will help you to learn an effective and powerful tool for better communication, to deepen emotional connection, resolve conflict, and create a shared vision for your relationship.The work is done in weekly couples counseling, in Private Intensives, and in Weekend Couples Retreats. We know what disconnects us from our partner, EcCT will teach you what connects.
Today, Carol the Coach is talking to Hope Ray, the founder of the Betrayal Violence Institute. Hope has created new terminology and conceptionalization for professionals and couples when complex partner trauma and betrayal violence has been identified. She has created hope for society to better understand betrayal violence starting with the experieences of women in relationship with men who betray and lie about the addiction. In this interview you will hear Hope discuss why she feels that a better understanding of betrayal violence will help protect and manage the relationship in a more clearly defined way. She hopes that it will develop an awareness of how to create more safety, boundaries and assertiveness.
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Sandra Shachar PhD, who has just released The Solution, Relationship Repair After ography Betrayal. In her book she realizes that can fracture a couples relationship. She writes, "It is likely that your relationship is in crisis following the discovery of hidden ography use. If you, as the discovering partner, accidentally learned about your mate’s ography habit, you may be in a state of shock and disbelief. Perhaps you did not know they were looking at at all. An additional shock may have been seeing the kind of ography they were viewing. You may be feeling hurt, angry, disgusted, confused, devastated, or all of these emotions at the same time. These feelings and reactions (and many more!) are all normal upon the discovery that your partner betrayed your trust with this secret behavior." In The Solution, Dr Shachar, helps you navigate the crisis, learn about betrayal trauma, and walk you through the steps to healthy living again!
For the person whose behavior was discovered, when you were confronted you may have “come clean” immediately—admitting your use of ography, promising it would never happen again and begging for forgiveness. On the other hand, you may have tried to explain looking at as a result of the state of your relationship or because of something your partner did or did not do. Perhaps you feel they are overreacting and that “everyone does it, so it’s not a big deal.” You may have tried to reassure your partner that “it isn’t what you think.” Perhaps you feel angry and defensive when they barrage you with questions, guilt and shame for having hidden this from them, or all of these emotions at different times.She wants to help guide you through these normal feelings and come up with an action plan for to help set boundries for your own mental health!
The American Foundation for Addiction Research (AFAR) is a public non-profit that funded research into understanding and effectively treating addiction, with a special focus on sex addiction. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Tim Stein, a colleague who wants the putblic to be aware of the research behind sex addiction and the important co-morbity that occurs when people suffer from untreated sex addiction. We will explore some of the value information we have gained from past research, some exciting research that is currently being conducted, as well what research is coming in the near future. Most importantly, we’ll discuss why these research findings are helpful to addicts, partners, and the clinicians who treat them.This is important research for addicts and their loved ones!!
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Ken Adams who has co-authored a groundbreaking book A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts detailing the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent, and offering a path to unburden their shameful legacy and embrace sexuality and intimacy without the intrusion or constraints from the past.Adult children who grew up with a parent who had a sexual addiction are left confused, ashamed, and mistrustful regarding the feelings and boundaries surrounding sex, love, and intimacy. Due to the inappropriate sexual behavior of one parent, and the subsequent impact of betrayal on the other parent, these adults carry sexual secrets, have divided loyalties, and are often caught in the middle of their parents’ struggles. Having witnessed (or known of) affairs, walked in on a parent masturbating or viewing ography, received extreme or shameful messages regarding sexuality or gender, experienced sexualized remarks about their bodies, been neglected as a result of the addiction, or were modeled extreme moral values (either too permissive or shaming), these adult children of sex addicts (ACSAs) struggle with their sexuality and longings for love.
Betrayed partners need immediate support to navigate the new terrain of their relationship. They need a clear articulation of betrayal trauma, a thorough education about their normal attachment-based reactions, and a proven path to healing.Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S, who is an expert at helping partners work through sexual betrayal. An expert in the field, her new book clearly delineates how partners can heal and find their life again or perhaps for the very first time.The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst offers a new exploration into an an age-old problem. In addition to sharing her own personal experience with recovery and renewal after betrayal, her new book offers a well-grounded process for healing and restoration and a clear step-by-step path for moving forward.The Betrayal Bind is a must-read for the betrayed, the betrayer, and the therapists who treat them.
Today, Carol the Coach interviews a Male Partner who is in Post-Traumatic Growh. Listen as he tells you how he got there!
When a couple seeks therapy after discovering one of them have been living a secret and harmful life of betrayal. The usual treatment plan will most likely focus on the betrayer becoming sober and learning to live a life of integrity, and the betrayed partner beginning a path of healing from the PTSD symptoms of betrayal trauma. This is a well researched and proven approach. However, the addict is also traumatized by the discovery that turns their world upside down. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck and Carol the Coach will be discussing the trauma impact an addict experiences after discovery and some of the challenges the addicted spouse will face in the healing process.Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who is a Relationship Expert, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist. In addition, she holds certifications in Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma and she helps couples on the healing journey when their lives have been devastated by the discovery of sexual betrayal. She has offices in Orlando and Tampa, Florida and her Three Day Intensives are attended by people from the United States, Canada and Europe. Visit her website www.CrystalHollenbeck.com or text her at 407.408.6521.We both understand how addicts get traumatized by the addiction and partner betrayal. We will be talking about how we can attend to the addicts needs while he is helping her heal!
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Corinna Kaufman who is a partner who is in the middle of transformation. She is speaking, writing and sharing her message of self empowerment and change.
It is so exhausting to deal with the collateral damage of being a partner. It is just so unfair! You didn't ask for the betrayal with all of its emotional wounding and many partners wonder if they will ever be able to recover. To make matters worse, partners put themselves on the back burner. Partners have options to get intense help but they delay it because:They resent that they need to make space for this "_____." They resent that there is a need for this support and that it would take them away from their families for 3.5. or 7 days. And yet we know empiracallly that often times the brain needs to reset and being away in a supportive enviroment with others who have been through the same thing is exactly what needs to happen to recalibrate and find the safety and mindset to move forward into restoration of your own life as a couple and individually,Listen as Carol talks with Heidi Kinsella abouth the Partner Intensives that they have created together for Partners!
When a partner feels Post-Traumatic Growth, she is much more likely to want to share it with other women who need the encouragement! Listen as Carol the Coach, interviews a partner to find out how she got healthy and what she learned about herself!
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Floyd G. Potts who has written Why Your Man Will Not Stop Cheating Until He Does This. In his book Floyd unlocks the key to sex addiction recovery and he wants to tell you about it today. This is Floyd's life story and he wants to help others heal.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing the founder of Safe Space who created it as a resource for women who needed perspective and healing due to the destructive impacts of a romantic relationship.
Having experienced an intensely destructive and confusing marriage, she knew how overwhelming, frightening, and heartbreaking it can be. She explains in our interview, "I left that marriage terrified, disoriented, and very, very broken. It took me a long time to put a lot of the pieces together- pieces that allowed me to not only make sense of the reality of what I had experienced, but also feel like I was healing personally. Through my professional work and personal life, I have since come into contact with so many other courageous and beautiful women whose lives have been turned upside down by destructive relationships. And I am amazed (and saddened) by how many of us there are! Every relationship and every individual is different, and experiencing destructive and confusing patterns in a relationship covers a tremendous breadth of lived experiences. That is why Safe Space is designed to empower women through teaching principles, providing tools, and also empowering women to see what is true—for themselves; to take back ownership of their own lives through engaging with their agency and sense of personal power.
Safe Space will not tell you what to do in your relationship. It will lay out principles and patterns to help improve your awareness. It will help you differentiate between what healthy looks like, and destructive patterns to you and your relationship that need to be addressed."
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Julie St Onge as she talks about how brainspotting can assist couples in their relational struggles. Brainspotting allows the emotional brain to reprocess trauma and reorganize it into the cortex or logical brain. It expedites the healing process. It is a process that involves using the optic nerve direction and bilateral music. We tap into where the trauma is and allow it to reprocess and reduce. This is not exposure therapy.
The benefit to couples spotting is that the wounding between the couple comes up immediately. This allows the couple to be more aware of the injuries and triggers that surface without any spoken words. They can be processed and even notice how one wound triggers another. Couples experience connection at a deep level as the emotional base heals. This allows more effective communication and use of tools and skills.
Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Jill Manning, the creator of a Therapeutic Separation Planning Guide. This one-of-a-kind guide provides clinicians, coaches, and couples with a highly structured, worksheet-style resource for planning a customized therapeutic separation. Over 120 open-ended questions cover key topics for separating couples. In addition to a visually appealing layout, expert tips, research data, and quotes are included to assist couples in organizing a therapeutic separation that is as healing as possible. This digital resource is a must-have for anyone contemplating a therapeutic separation, or for professionals working with couples who are candidates for this type of intervention.
A Therapeutic Separation Planning Guide is a 59-page PDF digital document that is divided into two main sections. Section one is for individual brainstorming by each partner, and section two is where the finalized therapeutic separation agreement comes together and is signed by the couple and the professionals involved. Each section includes worksheet-style pages filled with questions that are essential for creating a clear and effective therapeutic separation.
Carol and Dr. Jill will be discusssing why this guide creates more safety for couples as they navigate their needs.
The open-ended questions cover topics such as: Purpose & GoalsStrengths & WeaknessesTiming & LengthExpectations for Individual WorkExpectations for Couples WorkLiving ArrangementsParenting ResponsibilitiesFamily ActivitiesCouple CommunicationDivision of Household ResponsibilitiesFinancesPhysical AffectionSexual IntimacyDatingHolidays & Special EventsWorship & Spiritual PracticesHandling Issues or Disagreements that AriseSobriety
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Maurice Crane who is forming a new outreach for men who are struggling with sexual integrity.
Grace Based Recovery is the foundation of Be Broken Ministries in San Antonio Texas. Be Broken Ministries is a ministry to men, wives, families with an emphasis on recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors, otherwise known as sex addiction. Be Broken's flagship outreach is the Gateway to Freedom Weekend Workshops held in San Antonio, TX, Orlando FL and Mt. Bethel PA. A new outreach is forming to help churches and faith based community leaders come together to continue to address the issue of epidemic sexual addiction: Grace Based Recovery Groups. In a Grace Based Recovery group you create an environment of safety for men to gather to share their deepest of sexual struggles as well as their marital/family issues and find the reception warm and inviting to help men, over time, open up to a place of vulnerability. It is an accountability group with an emphasis on growing together through an 8 week training taken from the book Grace Based Recovery by Jonathan Daugherty, founder of Be Broken. Every quarter you start fresh with an 8 week training for new people, but then also hold accountability groups weekly as the group grows. This is in addition to other groups out there, just a different angle. There is also an emphasis on doing things together as a chance to serve your local community together instead of always living in the framework of me-centric, sex-centric addiction.
Partners who experience berayal trauma can learn how to deal with the impact it has on their health. Today, Carol the Coach, interviews 2 partner betrayal specialists who have helped with other specialists to create a workshop for women who need to reclaim their lives.
In this workshop, women will be able to :
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Learn from partner betrayal trauma and behavioral health specialists
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Grieve the losses with other women on a similar journey
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Claim and give voice to their Body Bears the Burden path
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Honor their story, honor your body, honor yourself
Listen as Dr. Janice Caudill and Julie StOnges talk about this healing workshop available on Jan 14th from 9-0pm EST. They would also like for you to take their survey to gain research on how partner betrayal has impacted you!
Today, Carol the Coach interviews a listener who is confused about his status and his spouses status.There has been many types of betrayal by his partner and he wants help navigating how to keep himself safe. He has much resentment about the betrayals that she was a part of and wants some clarity from Carol the Coach.
Tony Blevins and his wife Rebecca recently started a coaching practice with a two-fold mission: to help men recover from sex addiction and provide resources to their spouses who experience betrayal trauma. Tony uses motivational interviewing techniques to help men develop and maintain effective sobriety plans so they can lead a healthy sеxual life free of compulsive urges and unwanted behaviors. Rebecca writes her blog for two reasons. It is healing for her to share her feelings and experiences. She also wants to validate you and to let you know that you are not alone, you are not crazy, and you are going to be OK.
Listen as Carol the Coach finds out how this couple has found post traumatic growth.
Today Carol the Coach will be talking to Alex A. Avila, who has written a new book that will come out 10.8.22 callEmotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships. He will talk about the need for emotional safety so that you can build on a foundation that is required tocreate a new relationship.
This book and our discussion will help us understand the emotional pain and distance we experience from others and how to navigate that gap with confidence. Particularly after repairing betrayal, we can learn how to protect ourselves and make sense of our current pain in the context of our entire lives and our core needs. Emotional safety is an innate tool that helps us carefully assess whether to build new relationships with people who have harmed us. When we decide to do so, the book helps us begin taking specific steps that still honor ourselves in the process.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Melissa Ruff who has developed livefreewives.org to serve woman who want to be free of the anxiety and fear that accompanies partner betrayal.She is going to share with partners how they can REALLY tell if theri husband is in true recovery or white knuckling it.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Melissa Ruff who has developed livefreewives.org to serve woman who want to be free of the anxiety and fear that accompanies partner betrayal.She is going to share with partners how they can REALLY tell if theri husband is in true recovery or white knuckling it.
Today Carol and Kim talk about the ERCEM Model and the book that came out to guide you through your healing.
How to tell if your partner is slipping or you are?
There are many reasons to stay in a relationship, from family, finances, and most importantly love. But staying in a relationship where both parties are figuring out the next steps after the discovery of SA isn’t easy. What if they cheat? What if I can never trust them again? How will I be able to tell if we can move past these issues or if our relationship is doomed? Sometimes, the problem isn’t your partner.
In this podcast, Carol the Coach will explore with Rebecca Stokes how to explore the green lights that tell you your partner is doing well, and maybe it’s your turn to do some work, as well as, the red lights that reveal real problems. We’ll talk about how past traumas and betrayals impact the brain and nervous system, leading to cloudy decision making. Then we’ll look at what you can do to take charge of your experience, set healthy boundaries, and decide whether to stay or go.
Today, Carl Thomas wanted to share a new event that would benefit sex addicts, partners and couples. September 17th, 2022, he will be hosting a free event open to individuals and groups/churches that focuses on normalizing the sex//masturbation conversation. It's called Shameless and will be happening online September 17th from 12pm-3pm Eastern. He believes that learning how to talk about things will empower people to reach out sooner if there wasn't so much shame and disgrace surrounding the subjects of , sex, etc. Additionally, spouses and parents could undoubtedly have headed off a lot of the problems and challenges they face today with their partners and/or children, if they had just been more open and proactive about having these conversations in the past. He wants to let people know that they can get involved or possibly participate with your own local group of people that would be awesome too.
Here is the link: https://www.shamelessevent.com/
Today, Carol is interviewing a resilient woman who was raped by her husband and misguided by the church. She talks about her confusion about his actions and how they tried to find guidance with the church. She lived years in that confusion until she started to focus on herself which started the road to recovery.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Michael Ciaccio who will be sharing the origins of The Center for Healing and their specialized program, the My House Workshop to help sex addicts and church leaders heal from sex addiction. The Center for Healing is a clinical group practice working with those struggling with attachment wounds, trauma and sexual brokenness. The Center was founded in 2013 and has 5 clinical therapists working with clients daily. He will share the powerful story behind the beginnings of the Center in that the church was in need of someone who could address sexual addiction, ow addressing for the Catholic and greater Christian population in general.
In 2016, Dr Todd Bowman, Fr Sean Kilcawley and myself started the My House Workshop for Men, a 3 day intensive in Kansas City. The workshop includes experiential group work, psychoeducation and an integrated spiritual component. There is a half day on betrayal trauma to address how this addiction has impacted the client’s spouse or partner. This has addressed an important need in the church to help seminarians and priests as well.
Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold onto this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried by sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. So many men and their spouses wonder how male sexual abuse has affected the survivor. Today Carol the Coach talks to Doug Carpenter who wrote a riveting book call:.
The book contains over 40 reasons why men don’t tell. The degree of shame is significant and it often causes men to have confusing feelings regarding their sexuality.
As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men on average are abused around the age of eight or nine while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase created a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire that was awakened before its time.
This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys may tend to seek out further sexual exploration, have an increased interest in ography, seek out their abuser and initiate sexual activity, or may be driven to initiate sexual acts with others long before the natural instinct of puberty and progression into adolescent desires instinctively emerge. The latency disruption sets the stage for acts of sexual impulsivity and compulsivity, but can also lead to emotional dysregulation, sexual anorexia, and sexual dysfunction in adulthood.
Men who have experienced sexual abuse deserve to be heard and to heal! The wounded inner child deserves to be comforted and protected. The lies men have told themselves must be confronted and dispelled. The adult deserves to be free of the impact of sexual abuse and move into living a happy life free of emotional, physical, relational and sexual dysfunction, and sexual compulsivity.
Carol has a new workshop that she wants you to be aware of if you are looking to heal from the sexual betrayal that occured as a result of sexual addiction.
Today Carol the Coach interviews fellow podcaster, Rhys Pasimio who is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Counselor, and Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, as well as a soon-to-be certified IFS practitioner. Rhys is in recovery and produces the Outer Circle Inner Stillness Podcast. He believes recovery is about much more than just behavior change. It is a whole person, whole life transformation, mirroring the conversation experience in a spiritual journey.
He will explain the many questions addicts have including, "How do sober people live? What do they do, think, feel and believe that sets them apart from people without addiction, and people not yet in recovery?"
His podcast, Outer Circle Inner Stillness explores answers to this question. He looks at daily practices, basic beliefs and assumptions, that set the individual on a trajectory toward their Outer Circle values, as well as things to avoid that set you on a trajectory toward middle circle chaos. The core of the show explores the intersection of sobriety work and spirituality, and how these disciplines often compliment each other.
Further, there is a series within the series called Lives of the Sober, in which I interview people with 25 years or more of recovery. My aim is to capture the wisdom of our recovery elders, so we can learn from their example. He hopes that this will inspire others along the journey!
In 2019, Charlen Benson, wrote the book Unstuck book. She has added a missing piece to the book and wanted our viewers to know that she has created a Study Guide which offers thought provoking questions, easy-to-follow checklists, road-tested tips, healing exercise, insightful writing prompts, and profoundly moving prayers.
She explains to Carol the Coach, "When we are ‘on the road’ in our relationship, we get along fine and are able to navigate amicably our varying interests and desires. On the road, we are conscious, mindful, balanced, and aware.
However, when we don’t know how to balance our wants and desires with our mate, it’s like we get stuck in a ditch. Where we land depends on childhood experiences. We either default to becoming a people pleaser Others-Focused” (OF) or insist on our own way “Me-Focused.” (MF). Over time I discovered 21 predictable OF and MF default behaviors, though that’s not an exhaustive list. Each ditch behavior represents and extreme behavior that is a subconscious, automatic, preprogrammed, reaction, driven by fear and feeling powerless to do anything else. When the default behaviors don’t work, we switch to the opposite extreme reaction, propelling our counterpart to the opposite ditch.
OF’s engage in their behaviors to protect themselves from the rejection they experienced in childhood by acting in abandoning ways, while MF’s try to protect themselves from abandonment by acting in rejecting ways.
When we identify our reactive behaviors, name the fears driving them, we then can overcome those fears by engaging in a combination of the 24 strategies offered. "
Find out how you can create healthier relationships too!
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Nathan Spiteri who is brutally honest about how sexual abuse affected his life,The episode at the swimming pool was day one of what would become a three-year relationship between an eight-year-old boy and a paedophile in his early 40s, living just streets from each other in the same small town.
Nathan experienced traumatic bonding; a strong emotional attachment between a victim and their abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence. The sexual abuse initially continued at the swimming pool but later moved to his abuser’s home.
He also experienced manipulation from a pediphile who threatened him regularly. “He told me to meet him on certain dates and times or he would kill my family,” Nathan recalls.
This is a powerful and deeply vulnerable memoir where Nathan dives into the trauma of trauma bonding with a pediphile and how he not only survived but how he thrived!
Healing trauma using somatic experiencing (SE), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
When is it addiction and when is it trauma?
Many people who accept their sex addiction issues embrace that their focus must be on recovery. What if you’re in recovery and working your program, but life isn’t improving? What if old behaviors keep creeping up or your relationships are still suffering. What if relapses, near slips, and shame start to tank recovery?
Sometimes your problem isn’t a lack of recovery dedication, sometimes it’s trauma. Unfortunately, when people hear the word trauma, they think of voyaging through the dark night of a soul. This can lead to fears of further relapses, fear of digging through the past, and worse, fear of yet another bad experience with a therapist who insists on treating the “T” word without knowing how. In this episode, Carol the Coach will talk with Rebecca Stokes about the treatment modalities that work best for treating trauma, and how to navigate the alphabet soup of terms you might encounter like EMDR, SE, and IFS. We’ll also explore when to add trauma treatment to your recovery, how to decide which program might work best for you, and how to find and interview the right treatment provider.
This talk will focus on utilizing Dan Siegel’s theoretical framework he calls “Mindsight”, and his “9 Domains of Integration”. The podcast will also introduce the great American philosopher, Ken Wilber’s “Integral or All Quadrant, All Level (AQAL) Meta-Theory. Eric will be discussing how he utilizes both of these theoretical frameworks in the screening, assessment and treatment of Chronically Problematic Sexual Behaviors. He will briefly cover the core concepts of Mindsight and Interpersonal Neurobiology and Integral-Meta Theory. The “9 Domains of Integration” will then be presented and how they can be combined with Integral Meta-Theory to screen, assess and treat all types of Problematic Sexual Behaviors such as Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder in the form of compulsive use of ography, dating application, infidelity, cybersex and teledildonics.
Eric will explain how he utilizes the 9 Domains in conjunction with Integral Meta-Theroy in his assessment and treatment of CSBD. He will introduce practical instruments such as utilizing the Psychograph and the Integration/Differentiation-Plex and how these can be used to help both clinicians and clients in the treatment process.
If you want to understand why your clinician would utilize Mindsight, the “9 Domains of Integration” and Integral Meta-Theory which Eric thinks is vital to keep pace with the current tsunami of all addictive disorders and hopefully provide a more accurate model for what physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual “health” looks like for each individual.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeckwho will be idiscussing the essential part an Impact Statement plays in the therapeutic process for a couple. Being betrayed by the person you trusted the most has a devastating impact on your whole person. Part of the healing process for the betrayed partner is having the opportunity to share their experience instead of just letting it go and moving forward. The Impact Statement also has significant benefits for the addict’s recovery in helping them break through denial and experience the truth about the destruction their secret life has caused.
Dr. Hollenbeck is Certified in Sex Addiction, Betrayal Trauma, Sex Therapy, EMDR and Anger Management. She helps couples heal from the wounds of addiction and betrayal and leads them to living a healthy balanced life that includes healthy sexuality. She has offices in Orlando and Tampa Florida and offers 3 Day Intensives. Please see her website for a full list of services www.CrystalHollenbeck.com
I am so honored to be with Heidi Kinsella who has created an amazing Five Day Intensive Equine Inspired Experience for Women
Join a small group of women for an immersive healing experience set in a rural setting including equine assisted therapy, mindfulness, group therapy around the campfire, psychoeducation about betrayal trauma, and Soundbath healing to help work through the emotional and stress responses to trauma.We will be taking women throughthe three stages of healing including:1.safety and stabilization 2.working through anger, grief and mourning 3.restoration of self with posttraumatic growth. Heidi is using the concepts and exercises from Unleashing Your Powere the book that Carol wrote to woork through the trauma and betrayal.
If you feel stuck and need a healing place to nurture yourself and refocus your sense of emposwement. this may be the experience for you!
Designed and facilitated by Heidi Kinsella, LMHC, SUDP, CSAT, CPTT, CMAT, CCPS and Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW, CCPS-S, PCC and will bring her book Unleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner Betrayal to life.
*Mention Restoring Hearts for a discount of $500.00 per person
Starts at noon on Thursday, 8/4/22 and ends at 1pm on Monday, 8/8/22
Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake who have written a series of books including a book for the Partner: Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal and a book for Addict: Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal.
These books teach the couple how to prepare the Addict and Partner for a full therapeutice disclosre and discuss the importance of having skilled clinicians and coaches available who are partner sensitve. These companion workbooks are the gold standard for preparing for instruction on how to complete a full disclosure using a common method, common understanding, and common language toward the shared purpose of restoring the foundation of truth in the relationship.
They also have developed a training program for the Full Disclosure process for therapists, coaches, religious and other professionals who often become involved in the disclosure process.
If you want good information about disclosures, this is the show for you!
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Darrel Brazell a pastor from New Hope Recovery Ministry who feels like the church has a lot of work to do to support the many problems a congregation faces in todays world. One of his missions is to connect to church leaders about sexual issues in every church. He would like to speak as a pastor to pastors, ministry leaders, and counselors about the pitfalls of not having training and experience in SA. And he believes that offering grace to a struggling man is essential but so is following up to help him actually do recovery and come clean with his wife. (With a therapeutic full disclosure facilitated by a trained professional). I
He believes he can speak directly to this because even with 20+ years of experience and my own background here, he has to constantly fight with himself to not allow his deep compassion for the struggler to prevent him from also recognizing what he has done and is doing in causeing great harm to his wife.
He recognizes the impossible forced choice wives have when they gut is saying something is wrong, their husband is saying “everything is fine” and their spiritual community is saying, “Forgive him, trust him,” etc. without the husband demonstrating sincere and effective recovery. He hopes to help our male listerners and their wives by speaking to the wives of men wrestling with sexual addiction issues about why they need to seek out help from CSATs, APSATs, etc. and not assume their clergy are able to adequately address these issues He also recognizes a special population and would like to speak directly to pastor’s wives who have suspicions or knowledge of their husband’s ography use or other sexual struggles.
Today he will be sharing a weath of knowledge to our audience about reaching the masses at the religious level!
As a first-generation immigrant in this country, Sam Louies identity and those of others like his was nuanced. He explains that Yes we are “Americans” but we are Americans with cultural and ancestral ties elsewhere. And not just elsewhere in a vague kind of way like, “Well, I think I’m a mix of Irish and Scottish” but in a very tangible and direct link to my ethnic heritage, immigration story, along with the language, customs, and worldviews passed down through the generations.
Consequently, our identities are intertwined to the country we live in, our country of origin, those of our colonizers, or a combination of those. But the external pressure of assimilation has been one where I’ve been asked to strip myself of my past understanding of self and prove my allegiance to this country by simplifying my identity as one of just, “American”. The implicit mainstream message was that the pathway to citizenship, acculturation, and acceptance in this country was the adoption of patriotism to the degree that the only color accepted was red, white, and blue oozing out of my pores. But in doing so, I betrayed what it truly means to be American in my eyes while also betraying my ancestral roots.
Listen as Sam explains how racism and culturism affected him and his addiction with Carol the Coach
Bill Herring is a certified sexual addiction therapist who has maintained a private practice in Atlanta for over 30 years. For many years Bill was a board member and conference chair of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (“SASH”). Bill has published many professional articles, including one we will be discussing today. In 2017 he wrote a chapter for a book on the history of the sex addiction field. That same year Bill wrote “A Framework for Categorizing Chronically Problematic Sexual Behavior”, which won Article of the Year by the publisher. In 2019 Bill received the prestigious “Carnes Award” from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health for his pioneering work advancing understanding of this field of study. Just about anything you want to know about Bill can be found at billherring.com.
Today, Carol the coach will be interviewing Bill, who will be talking about the framework for categorizing problematic sexual behavior that he introduced in 2017. This framework provides a way to distinguish types of sexual behavior as problematic without having to label the person. This helps avoid the conflict that often happens when a person is reluctant to self-identify as a sex addict while still wanting help for their sexual behavior. This framework allows people who may not be truly sexually addicted to receive assistance for their sexual concerns without having to accept a diagnosis. By using five short conversational questions this framework gets to the heart of what is problematic about any type of sexual behavior without assigning labels. This framework has a lot of implications for people who struggle with their sexual behavior as well as the professionals who want to help them improve their lives.
Stephen Ammann is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and a graduate of Northwest Nazarene University, Stephen provides individual, couple, and group counseling using an integrated approach. He founded Northwest Wellness Center in Nampa, where they specialize in sex and addiction, trauma treatment as well as couples’ therapy. NWC has specific intensive models that focus on addiction, trauma, and couples’ retreats.
Stephen is a certified EMDR therapist and consultant. He has co-facilitating DeTUR trainings with the late Dr. AJ Popky, in the US and Canada. DeTUR is an EMDR addiction protocol addressing triggers and urges leading to unwanted behaviors. Stephen developed the EMDR protocol LIFE SCAN which looks at each of the development stages such as epigenetic trauma, utero, birth, non-verbal, and so on through the client’s life span. He uses this effective process to help clients deal with trauma, addiction, and other concerns.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Louise A Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, who is going to help us understand Addiction In The Family- Helping Families Navigate Challenges, Emotions and Recovery.
He explains that Covid 19 has seen an unprecedented rise in the use and misuse of alcohol, marijuana, prescription, and nonprescription drugs (opioids and stimulants) etc. This coupled with the rise of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues along with gastrointestinal issues has created a perfect storm.
Americans’ today report that they have either started or increased their substance use as a way of coping with stressors related to Covid 19. Neilson reported a 54% increase in national alcohol sales in March of 2020 for example as opposed to a year ago and online sales on alcohol increased by 262% from 2019 to today. Marijuana sales and online deliveries have also increased.
The World Health Organization has warned that alcohol use will potentially exacerbate health concerns and risk-taking behaviors.
Today, the challenges facing American families and the workforce is enormous based on the increasing numbers of folks who are looking for solace in mind altering substances. Not a day goes by where clinicians do not receive a phone call from a mom, dad, husband, wife, partner, child etc worried about a loved one.
As you know, the world is filled with men who struggle to connect emotionally, leaving many women feeling disappointed in relationships. But why are some men like this? What happened that they cannot emotionally engage in a healthy way?
Today, Dr. Eddie Capparucci, talks about what he believes is going on inside of men who suufer from sexual compulsivity or with men who are in recovery but havin't work out their deeper issues.The reason goes back to a lack of nurturing required in the early stages of childhood development, where kids learn to attune, regulate emotions, trust, be empathic, and self-soothe.
His new book, entitled "Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots"explains how men who possess low emotional IQs struggle to thrive in relationships and how they can change. It also shows how they may be prone to addictive behaviors such as sex and addictions.
Dr. Eddie Capparucci, LPC, C-CSAS, specializes in the treatment of sex/ addiction. He is the creator of the Inner Model for treating this disorder and the author of the popular book “Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction.”
I refer so many men to Dr. C. because he helps them understand their core wounds and attach more successfully to their wives!
Carl Thomas wrote a book called When Shame Gets Real: A new way to talk about sex, , and masturbation and so together we delve into why he wrote this book on sexual shame? He believes that may things need to change in this culture and has some strong feelings that if we can can’t change the conversations about sex and sexuality in our culture, our families, and our churches we won't see things improving in regards to the epidemic of use and sexual brokenness in our society.
This is the real and intimate conversation with the man, his addiction and how it impacted everyone whom he shared his life.
Today ,Carol the Coach interviews Roane and Eva Hunter who have written a best-selling book called Sex, God, amd Chaos of Betrayal The Couples Roadmap of Hope and Healing - Recovery from Infedelity, Affairs, ography and Sexual Addiction. This couple has lived it, healed from it and now offers services to addicts and partners. They developed this roadmap to help you navigate the crisis and the pain!
Carol will be talking to a visionary and pioneer in spiritual growth and transformation, who will be sharing life-changing experiences and insights with clarity and humor.She has developed the Blueprint for the Human Spirit®, her holistic model for conscious, compassionate living. She is uniquely qualified to talk about the Blueprint since it evolved in harmony with her transformation. She is an architect for the human spirit.These Spiritual Blueprinting sessions get to the heart of core issues and an individualized approach for you to transform your life through a holistic process.
She is also a best-selling author of several books, including The Dance of Ego and Essence: Confessions of a Divine Diva. This book and its companion journal can help you to get real with yourself. Through radical honesty, you can release negative behaviors, emotional baggage, and old beliefs that keep you trapped in addiction and victimhood.
She will inspire both addicts and partners to acknowledge how the tragedies that they have experienced can be a catalyst for post-traumatic growth.
Today Carol the Coach, interviewed Matt Sinkovitz who is helping men work through their addiction. Matt began his studies in Buddhism and New Thought as a young adult, seeking resolution to his own personal life dilemmas. Overcoming his 20+ year compulsive relationship with , Matt was inspired to share his journey and support other men in their path to liberation. Through his online Facebook support community, ‘ to Purpose’, Matt currently runs the ‘90-Day Liberation Boot Camp’, as well as the ‘7-Day Abstinence Challenge’. Matt is passionate about the community’s commitment to support committed fathers and husbands in ending their toxic relationship with , so they can reignite that passion in their relationships and be better role models to their children."
It happens to everyone! Recovery stalls out and you are bored. What do you do to avoid this stage in development? Call Carol the Coach!
Carol the Coach will be discussing her new book that is coming out called Help Them Heal to assist clients in doing the work that is necessary to help couples heal together.
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Carley Pool who has a personal experience that she wants to share with our listening audience.The discussion will be an honest look at the personal experience of an adult child conceived as a result of a sex addiction, growing up in a time when the diagnosis and knowledge of sex addiction was almost non-exsistent. Her experience was shaped in part, because she grew up in a religious setting and that played a role in this continuously evolving event. . Further it includes the process of healing: the intentional and unintentional strategies used that were adopted over a period of thirty years. Today, she would like to share how she might use this unique story will to further benefit other families that encounter sex addiction. It is truly a story of PTG.
Today, Carol the Coach will be talking to Sarah who has many reasons to believe her husband is still acting out. She reached out to me for answers and I invited her to come on the show and talk about what she is facing in her marriage with a man who allegedley is doing lots of things that make her doubt his sincerity. She wants to get to the truth and is not sure how to do that. Listen to the common questions that partners have io get straight answers from their spuses.
It’s hard enough to fully enjoy mutual intimacy in our romantic relationship. When picking up the pieces after relational betrayal, these natural difficulties become even more complex. After betrayal, navigating daily tasks and wondering what the future holds can feel very uncertain and fearful for both partners and the family.
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Alex Avilia, who is going to be explaing the dynamics between the coupleship. Each person needs to feel a sense of Emotional Safety. When relational instability and loss of trust become emotionally painful, betrayed partners need to know they have something to hold onto. They can develop individual strength and resiliency and ask their addicted partner to be emotionally safe for them. The addict’s attitude and presence—along with their consistent desire to develop relational insights and skills—means everything. Only when they can provide the safety and responsiveness that the betrayed partner wanted all along will they be able to fully heal themselves and exponentially boost their partner’s sense of trust. In this episode, you will learn about the vital need for Emotional Safety, how to assess your vulnerability when taking risks to share more deeply, and how to stay present and engaged so both partners can feel increased hope in their relational recovery.
EMAIL: alex@alexanderavila.com [AH-vee-law]
WEBSITE: AlexAAvila.com [AH-vee-law] Sign up at AlexAAvila.com to be notified about pre-ordering his book. ([Carol, you can say “It’s coming soon.” OR, you can share the Expected Release Date: February 2022.])
BOOK TITLE: “Emotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Developing Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships”
One of the challenges after 6-12 months of sobriety for individuals is handling their emotional life. After all, one reason why addictions start is to avoid feeling emotions to begin with.Our guest Jan M. Bergstrom, who wrote Gifts from a Challenging Childhood; Creating a Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self, believes that individuals have to to heal from family of origin trauma. In our show, she will help us understand how to re-parent our historical parts.
Today, I would like to interview Aaron Tempel who is an CSAT who believes attachment focused EMDR really increases the effectiveness of treatment. He is going to discuss Attachment Focused EMDR, or AF-EMDR in its use for treating individuals struggling with sexual addiction or betrayal trauma. While trained to work with partners, my experience is largely working with sexual addiction/compulsivity. EMDR has long been used in the treatment of trauma and has diversified into the treatment of various disorders, primarily with the focus on traumatic experiences. AF-EMDR has been developed by Laurel Parnell of the Parnell Institute, to focus on treatment of attachment wounds and relational traumas. I focused on AF-EMDR because sex addicts typically have experienced attachment wounding/trauma that has not been addressed, which then can lead to unwanted sexual behaviors that bring them to my office. AF-EMDR utilities Resource Tapping to connect with attachment resources, improve coping skills for distress, and can be utilized with disclosure preparation and dealing with triggers. Additionally, AF-EMDR often uses a modified EMDR protocol in order to stay in the right brain processing and improve attachment repair.
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Damgaard who works at the Mindfulness Center and has completed the MBATT which is a mindfulness certification for sex addiction and partner betrayal. This segment will focus on learning about the power of mindfulness in addictions and trauma recovery. Sex addicts will learn how to define mindfulness, and how these techniques help a variety of individuals in becoming more aligned with who they are at their core; while developing the capacity to have more choice in their day-to-day decision making. Mindfulness work has inspired optimism in recovery work and I hope that those who are listening, can be inspired to explore, learn, grow and heal with what they gather from today’s show.
Listen as Carol the Coach talks about a spiritual path that she frequently uses to guide her in her daily life.
John and Elaine Leadem, who are experts in the field of addiction, will be sharing personal information about their lives as they discuss the faces that they wore when they first married. In this riveting interview, the Leadems who wrote One in the Spirit: Meditation Course for Recovering Couples openly share their early struggles with maintaining a relationship while combating their own demons from years of addiction.
Sexual Addiction is a disorder that requires strategies to assist you in maintaining recovery. This show is to help you access the books, the experts and the people who are managing recovery with The 12 Step Program and Patrick Carnes Recovery Task Model that reinforces the steps you need to take to manage your recovery and take your life through the journey so that you not only conquer the "Addict" but develop into the person you were meant to be!
Carol the Coach is a Certified Sexual Addictions Therapist who is ready to take you on the journey and expose you to the experts who will guide you through the steps.
In this segment Carol the Coach will be discussing boundaries with Jocelyn Hamsher. Boundaries are defined as a set of expectations and limits we have around our interactions with ourselves and others. They help us keep our side of the street clean and sets our relationships up for success because we are able to communicate our expectations in a healthy way. Boundaries are not about manipulating or changing anyone else, they are solely about protecting ourselves. A good way to determine areas of our life that may need boundaries is to look for pain points in our life and from there establish what we need in order to minimize the pain point. Often we struggle most with boundaries when we struggle with knowing what our wants and needs are, which is a symptom of unresolved trauma. Once we are able to identify our needs and wants, then we need to formulate boundaries to help get those met and then communicate them in a healthy way. This also includes action steps for instances where the other person chooses not to respect our boundaries. In sex addiction specifically, we need to establish boundaries around our pain points in recovery such as safe guards on technology and having consistent accountability.
In any relationship where betrayal occurs through acting out in any harmful manner, the partners’ breakage leaves them in unbearable distress and fear for an unknown future. Defense mechanisms further create distance when trauma triggers negatively influence the reactions of both parties in the relationship. The acting out partner uses maladaptive coping skills to relieve distressing feelings learned in childhood. The betrayed partner loses trust and suffers a multitude of painful emotions. Further acting out and boundary violating behavior of the addict compounds distrust, fueling distance from the betrayed spouse. IF there is any chance for spouses; this I where CSAT and ASAT therapists enter the picture.
It is not uncommon for clients who have sexual addiction to suffer from trauma that later causes PTSD. Dr. Jerry Borikhin from the Meadows will be talking about PTSD and how this disorder can be managed if you are suffering from these symptoms. Listen in as he shares with Carol the Coach the criteria and diagnostic elements that would tell you if you have PTSD.
Sexual Addiction can be managed if you utilize a variety of resources. This radio show teaches you the recovery tasks needed to work through the shame that accompanies this compulsion.
Carol the Coach has worked with 1000's of clients who have fought this disorder and learned how to manage it and live fully optimal lives. Listen to her as she shares her wisdom and interviews the experts in her field.
Carol Juergensen Sheets is a certified sexual addictions counselor and was trained by Dr. Patrick Carnes who has been instrumental in developing programs and clinical skill sets that promote recovery,
Abandonment in childhood effects self esteem and often contributes to the issues of sexual addiction. Tonight I will be interviewing Mark Smith Director of Family Tree Counseling who has written an e-book called MANAGING ABANDONMENT ISSUES THROUGH RECOVERY. He will discuss what you can do to resolve and reprocess the aftershock of abandonment and what you can do if your abandonment issues are feeding your addiction.
Sexual Addiction is a disorder that requires strategies to assist you in maintaining recovery. This show is to help you access the books, the experts and the people who are managing recovery with The 12 Step Program and Patrick Carnes Recovery Task Model that reinforces the steps you need to take to manage your recovery and take your life through the journey so that you not only conquer the "Addict" but develop into the person you were meant to be!
Carol the Coach is a Certified Sexual Addictions Therapist who is ready to take you on the journey and expose you to the experts who will guide you through the steps.
As a Sex Addict, can you love yourself despite the fact that you have an addiction. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jace Downey who looks at sex addiction with an unusual perspective about the reason for your addiction. Jace explains that with addiction reaching epidemic levels, we are seeing a revolution in the recovery sphere, a whole-person holistic approach to healing. Yet, we risk the unnecessary suffering of countless people if we set the foundation wrong. In her work with people recovering from sex addiction, Jace Downey, founder of You Got This! Recovery discovered a core theme across all demographics - the belief that we are not enough to be loved, just as we are. This intrinsic, inescapable need for acceptance, connection, for love is at the root of addiction as well as the solution for it. How can we expect to eradicate addiction in a system that reenforces the very beliefs that cause it?
Jace and her clients have experienced freedom from addiction through a radical twist to the recovery process - starting from the foundation that there is nothing wrong with you.
Being betrayed by someone you trusted is beyond painful! It’s a tsunami of emotions that are terrifying and out of our control. And those close to us may misguide us, well-intentioned as they might be. So it’s critical to have some professional guidance to help us ride the waves in a healthy way. You didn’t ask for it, and it might feel really unfair to be called upon to do the work to heal, but your healing is paramount for your own well-being. It will also allow you to rebuild trust within yourself, which can often get shattered, especially when our feelings become unmanageable. Today, Carol will be interviwing Rebecca Rosenblat PhD,who specializes in sex addiction and partner betrayal. Her background is in understanding how loving an addict can cause trauma.
Are you someone who constantly struggles with someone who is too clingy or too detached. Often times in sexual addiction, there is one partner who tends to be love avoidant and one partner who is love addicted. This can be a frustrating issue for each partner which invariably keeps each person from getting their needs met.Ben Galloway has worked in the field of Addiction and Trauma Treatmen since 1989. Ben is the owner and director of Enchantment Workshops and agency that customizes intensives and workshops for individual's couples and families who suffer from the effects of Trauma and Addiction. He is going to be helping us to understand how relationships are formed and how co-dependency can result from unhealthy relationships where trauma has occured. He will be giving concrete tools that promote recovery and improve and restore healthy relationships.
Your sexual addiction has devestated her. Her self esteem has been devestated and she does not know how to compensate for what she thinks that you need.Professionals see the daily devestateion but don't know how to help and today Rochelle has developed a course to reignitght that sense of appeal. Her topic is a new program that she is offering called Your Big Sexy Comeback for women who are moving on after betrayal and ready to (maybe) explore what dating, love, sex and intimacy mean for them now. These are women who have done a lot of healing and are ready to really start experiencing what it means to thrive. Even if you question if you are ready, know that you deserve to have that energy back!
In this podcast, Carol the Coach and Dr. Jill Manning discuss the power of affirmations and how to effectively utilize affirmations in relational trauma healing work. Affirmations can sometimes be dismissed as simply "happy thoughts" or "nice statements," but when affirmations are truly understood and practiced, they can powerfully interrupt shaming or distorted thinking patterns and nurture physical, emotional, and relational health. Practical resources, ideas, and research-based information will be shared throughout this engaging discussion.
We are all products of the messages we receive in our lives. None of these messages are as powerful as those we receive in childhood. Tom Gagliano focuses on the messages given to us in childhood, verbal and non-verbal, and how they impact the roles one grows up to play and the ways these roles affect one’s intimate relationships. He discusses the steps to identify the roles one plays in order to grow as a person will be outlined, as well as the ‘People Pleaser’ and ‘Caretaker’ roles. The challenges associated with these roles, as well as ways to overcome these challenges, will be discussed.
Sex Addiction can appear so entitled. That is the very nature of addiction and so entitlement and self absorbtion keeps the addict alive. Listen as Carol the Coach explores the fundamental maladaptivecoping style that keeps addiction alive.
Sex addiction is an illness where the addict uses sex to self-medicate, to cope with overwhelming emotions. It’s about disconnection, not finding a more attractive partner. But often, partners fear just that, as the movie plays in their heads with more attractive partners acting in more sensual ways, which can make them feel unattractive and disconnected from their own sexuality. It’s hard enough as is, with the images that media projects as sexy, since the reality is that sexiness isn’t about what we look like, it’s about the attitude we have towards how we look – something that can fail us when our mindset is preoccupied with erroneous fears. This episode will focus on getting your groove back, and reclaiming your sensuality, versus giving the addiction the power to define it. As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Rebecca Rosenblat is sensitive to the struggles of a partner. As a Clinical Sexologist, she’s aware of sexual challenges, including how we feel about ourselves. Rebecca will combine those two aspects of her training to help with the discussion.Reclaiming Your Sexuality.
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Laney Knowlton who has worked in the field of sex addiction for over a decade years. She has developed a model for couples called Coupled Recovery. It uses similarities between the trauma cycle and the addiction cycle to create a common language for addicts and partners, creating a foundation for connection throughout recovery, which starts with emotional safety. This approach is meant to be used in conjunction with individual recovery work. Current models in the field tend to focus on either the addict or the partner. The differences between approaches can make it difficult for partners to see if addicts are working towards recovery, understand the work they are doing, and feel safe in recovery. At the same time, the work that partners do to heal themselves and the relationship is not seen and understood by the addict, and sometimes even left out of the recovery process, making it much more difficult for partners to heal.
Carol the Coach is going to be interviewing Shane Adamson who will be discussing understanding and healing attachment wounds of loss, betrayal and abandonment and neglect. He has a desire to start a podcast that will feature complex problems and be inspired by love stories. As a professional counselor over 25 years, Shane observes what helps and what hurts individuals, marriages and families. Shane combines clinical experiences and formal training to identify quality content for the listener. The greatest happiness life has to offer most often comes through connected and loving relationships. The podcast features authors and experts as well as everyday heroes who have something helpful and inspiring to share about strengthening loving relationships. Episodes will inspire the listener to do hard things as well as find better ways to live, love and parent. He explains, "This is a place we get real, tell stories, and are reminded of things that matter most. You, Your Marriage, and Your family has seeds of greatness. Subcribe to get the water, light, and nutrients to grow your greatness. Prime relationships deserve prime time." Get ready to be inspired by this guest!
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gary and Donna who support RCA a 12 Step Group for Couples in recovery. Find out how you can access this incredible 12 Step format for support!
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Michele Saffier who will be speaking about her work with partners struggling with betrayal trauma. Discovery forces partners into an existential crisis of self. The choice they are faced with has very little to do with external decisions about their life– divorce, reconciliation, therapy, polygraphs and disclosure, why the betrayer did what they did, etc. There are two paths ahead. The must choose one. The path on the left is the relationship healing journey – individual therapy, partners group, S-Anon, marital therapy, accountability, etc. This path manages the acute crisis yet wellness still depends largley on the “we” and not the “I”. The path on the right far more difficult; it is a Heroes’ Journey. They will battle two-headed dragons, angry monsters and, the scariest monster of all, their own dark side (shadow self). If they hang on for dear life and stay on their journey, they will emerge, like the Phoenix rises from the ashes, transformed. Death and then rebirth. Partners must slay their own dragons to transform themselves. In the spirit of Kintsugi, brokenness is not to be hidden with gorilla glue but rather it is to be celebrated and mended with gold. She believes that partner should be celebrating the wisdom, beauty and strength in their brokenness.
Money issues and financial distress is all a part of the sexual addiction cycle. Listen as renowned "sex addiction's expert" Debra Kaplan talks about her new audio book which will help to unravel the damage that sexual addiction has contributed towards in the relationship. Debra Kaplan, who wrote For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual and Financial Betrayal in Relationships turns a provocative, literary lens on the world of sex, money and relational power. For over a decade, Ms. Kaplan has been a licensed psychotherapist treating problem related to sex addiction, money and relationships. Join us for a provocative exploration into relationships about sex, money and power.
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Gary Owens who is the male spouse of a female sex addict. He has written a book titled The Betrayed Husband’s Survival Guide as a way to tell his story and to help other men who find themselves in the battle of their lives. Being the partner of an addict is difficult, especially in the early days of recovery. And being a man whose wife betrayed him can be a blow to ones masculinity. Gary shares some of the things which have helped him find the road to his own ongoing recovery of self.
Sex addiction is a common occurance in the military, Lauren Rich explains, "ography is a huge problem. Excluding military sexual assault in this discussion ography and infidelity are an infinite battle. You have to remember that we’re talking majority men, minority women and that they are young, testosterone filled males who look to ography as a way to escape, feel good, and meet sexual needs. There’s little to no shame of doing this while enlisted, when they discharge and get married is when it can become an issue. Many stop use by this time but others struggle greatly." Today, she will explain what resources are available to the men who are serving our country.
It is so important to recognize how the proper sleep can help sex addicts with thier urges, cravings and triggers. And for the partner, the proper sllep insures more stress management including less triggers and more emotional regulation.Listen as sleep specialist Laura Childers reminds us how important sleep really in the management of trauma and good mental health.
Betrayal Trauma can feel different for male partners Their greatest wounding is to believe that nothing that they experienced with their significant other was real. They experience an out-of-the-blue grief response to the sudden loss of what they thought was their life and they have nowhere to turn because that there are very few resources for male partners. Our guest today, Sibylle Georgianna has written a book for male partners to offer that support and she wants male partners to know that at some point they need to mourn the relationship they thought they had. She knows that reactions such as anger, sadness, numbness or craving to go out and cheat yourself show the humongous loss. The betrayal wound causes you to no longer trust your significant other and yourself. In her book she says: "You have many questions: Was my relationship with the one who betrayed me an illusion? What’s my sense of reality that I did not see the dual life of the one who betrayed me sooner? How could I have entrusted myself and my family to a person I did not know? You have been wounded on so many levels. I would like to repeat: betrayal trauma is not your fault. "
Listen as she talks about why she believes that it is so hard for male partners to ask for help!
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Latina Griffin, LCSW, CCTP, CCPS about the benefits of working collaboratively with professionals who are skilled at understanding sex addiction. She encourages clients to find clinics who can offer partner sensitive services and also have professionals who who can provide the needed umbrella of services to assist sex addicts in their healing and restore the coupleship. She has discovered there is significant benefit to her clients individually as well as healing in the relationship to work with a CSAT. She wants to educate our listeners as to the many advantages to to having an area or a clinic who can work together for the sake of the client.
We have really seen the trials and tribulations that first responders experience due to the pandemic. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Gina Dunckel who specializes in trauma and knows firsthand how trauma can effect First Responders. We will be discussing First Responders, the unique culture they bring to therapy, and how to understand the differences of sexual addictions and sexual issues in their line of work. We will also talk about how to deal with unique issues such as critical incidents, pandemic, working with affair partner that is on the job, and interagency roles. We will also address resources for therapists to increase their knowledge base about First Responders.
TodayHeather Pincelli and I will be talking about THRIVING after infidelity. Heather is a mental health counselor and coach who went through betrayal and decided to specialize in it to give partners the care that they deserve. She realized how much our mental health counselors and life coaches were not properly trained to hold space for and help with repair and moving forward after infidelity on the heels of her own marriage becoming shattered by the pains of infidelity. She explains that her then spouse had moved us 1500 miles away, uprooted us from our support, my job etc to what we were being told was a job he HAD TO TAKE. It turns out it was to move us to the town his mistress's plural yes plural-- lived in. I caught the affairs shortly after moving there. She did what so many do and immediately found a therapist and while paying this therapist $350 an hour he would nod his head and say to me oh this sounds so painful. Heather realized that his well intentioned empathy was not good enough and it motivated her to take action. Although she reached dark places, and became unrecognizable, she found resiliency. Today, nearly 6 years later she will tell you that whileit was incredibly painful and she acknowledges, "I would not have had to have that lesson and pain handed to me... I also am grateful for it!"
I had plenty of warning signs and red flags that my marriage was not good and it took this level of intense shock to my system to get my attention and dig in deep on me. The pain and process is hard but if you go THROUGH AND NOT AROUND it is so so beautiful. Her life saving belief is that you can use this pain for power!
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Crystal Whitlow, who is a facilitator for training clinicians with EMDR. She will be talking about EMDR protocols around EMDR and sex addiction. Addiction protocols are different that other protocols around trauma although many addicts have reenacted their trauma with sexually addictive maladaptive patterns. Listen as she talks about the protocols that can make a difference
I recentlyYou have heard me say that the 12 Step Program could help anyone be a better person. Well now there is a book that explains how everyone should ascribe to the 12 Step Process! Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Kristin Snowden co-authored with Scott Brassart called Life Anonymous: 12 Steps to Heal and Transform Your Life. It was written to help non-addicts (and addicts) understand and apply 12 step concepts to their own lives to help them navigate personal and relational crises. It incorporates various therapeutic tools and exercises, as well. It can also be a helpful tool for those who love/are in a relationship with addicts and want to better understand what recovery can look like (meetings, working steps, building relationships). The book weaves in personal stories of how those who don’t identify as addicts can apply the 12-Step model to their lives. Kristin references her years of running a mens drug and sex addiction program, helping clients gain sobriety through a recovery program, while also applying the concepts to her own personal/relational struggles in life at the time. Scott shares his personal story of recovery as a drug and sex addict. The book tackles difficult concepts around rebuilding your life and identity after devastation, identifying shame and trauma and developing resiliency skills for both, improving interpersonal relationship tools like boundary setting, communication, practicing empathy and compassion and engaging in secure attachment with others.Want to better your life? Then this book is for you!
Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Peter Cooper who will be discussing a book Ithat he is currently writing that is tentatively titled "The Flow of Self and Sexuality", that includes and opens with a short autobiographical section as well as tying the elements of nature (earth, air, fire, water and void) into our own life and connecting with them to better understand our own sexuality as well as all aspects to our lives; including the self. Additionally, tying the elements in my book to self-esteem and how to achieve self-esteem through thought patterns, behaviors and emotional reactions both in intimate relationships and in our general day to day lives. This conversation will help you look at your own life, sexuality and self-esteem and access resources to help you improve your life.
Tonight, Carol interviews Kelly Ibarra, who has writtten a memoir about rebuilding and forgiveness after complex sexual betrayal.that both educates the reader about partner betrayal and sexual addiction and shares the process of forgiveness. Jenna Riemersma describes the book by saying, “Kelly shares a raw and personal window into her experience of betrayal and her struggle with the effects of trauma, while also offering hope and a path forward. Her narrative is punctuated with recommendations from best clinical practices that offer the reader a guide to transformation and healing.” It is rare to get this type of message about grace, forgiveness and redemption.
Tonight, Carol the Coach, is interviewing Carrie Ishee who wrote a poignant memoir which chronicles the traumatic psychological abduction and sexual exploitation of depressed college student Carrie Tansey at the hands of her psychiatrist, Dr. Anthony Romano–thirty-one years her senior. For three years, their secret “affair” was carefully calculated, and controlled by Romano, as Carrie’s mental and emotional health continued to deteriorate, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. Their dual-relationship finally came to light when Carrie’s suicide attempts landed her in a world-renowned psychiatric hospital. Gradually, she began to reclaim her power, reported Romano to the state licensing board, successfully sued him for malpractice, and testified before the state legislature to bring awareness to such abuses.
Listen as she shares how she shifted out of victimization into empowerment and what you can do to heal your own dealings with exploitation.
Is forgiveness necessary for healing from sexual addiction? Well the truth is that it is not mandatroy to forgive the person or the acting out but if you choose to forgive you will find tonight's show illuminating as we talk to Sara Schulting-Krantz, who believes that everyone has the capacity to forgive and she will share the steps that come straight from her book, Walk Through This and Travel the Road to Forgiveness.
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews David Essel, who helps addicts look at how trauma reenactment from childhood shows up as sexual addiction in the present until you deal with the past. Listen, as he shares the path that can give great insight into true recovery.
Mindfulness can be the antidotee for a sexually addicted mind and tonight Darrin Ford tells us how he found recovery and how he is training professionals to help their clients who don't seem able to find recovery through compassion and mindfulness based addiction therapy.
There are alot of theories as to how sex addiction evolves in the lives of men and women. Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Eddie Capparucci who specializes in treating sexual addictions and ography addictions. He works with men who struggle with the addiction by challenging them understand "why" they feel, think and behave the way they do. Together, they embark on a journey of transformation that goes far beyond simply removing the addictive behavior and leads to transformation of the "NEW" guy.
Like other addictions, sexual addiction, or hypersexuality, can be masking deeper issues such as anxiety, stress and depression. How we feel after a sexual experience is usually a good barometer for our intention leading up to it. Do we feel more connected or do we feel less connected, that hollow feeling that can ensue? Carol the Coach will be interviewing Murray Hidary who is a multi-diciplanary expert at helping people shift their ability to take responsibility and action for their lives.
He has developed a tool he refers to as the MindTravel method which brings radical responsibility to any situation. Viewing an issue through the lens of radical responsibility involves bringing awareness to the behavior and its impacts on our lives and the lives of others, full acceptance of these realizations and then taking intentional action to remedy and move forward in a healthy way. Awareness. Acceptance. Action.
The relationship with our sexuality is an ongoing journey as it is relational, in dynamic response to others and an external expression of our ever evolving inner state. It requires consistent awareness and attention; mindfulness. Through music, reflection and entering into a deep listening to what is going on within and around us the door opens to a life lived with more freedom, no longer at the mercy of our fears and wounds.
Empathy can be inherited but typically it is learned and tonight Carol talks about how to increase empathy through the use of Emotional Maturity Skills.
Carol the Coach is speaking with Jay Stringer who is a licensed mental health counselor and author of the award-winning book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. Unwanted is based on a multiyear research project on over 3,800 men and women to address the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior, be that the use of ography, infidelity, or buying sex. Men and women wiith compulsive problematic sexual behavior feel this book speaks to the childhood trauma that predesposes sex addiction.
Jay's passion is to equip individuals and organizations with resources they need to outgrow their unwanted behaviors. He holds an MDiv and master in counseling psychology from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and received post-graduate training under Dr. Dan Allender while serving as a Senior Fellow at the Allender Center.
There are lots of issues for men about masculinity and comparison. Today, Carol the Coach is talking with Masculinity Expert Dr. Doug Carpenter, who has identified the term "Non-AlphaMale which he will be explaining on todays's show. The social perception of masculinity is very black and white: one is either an Alpha Male or a Beta Male, and there can be no variation. However, this is not the reality of masculinity in today's society. Non-Alpha Males exist somewhere in the middle of the masculinity spectrum and are far more common than most people realize. Non-Alpha Males are prone to developmental and behavioral issues caused by gender role conflict, toxic shame, and complex trauma. These, as well as the role of parenting, attachment and abuse issues, gender constructs and socialization, and the resulting addiction, sexual issues, and self-loathing, are explored in Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male.
Dr. Carpenter's book, Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha- Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing and Change. offers healthy resolutions through self-acceptance and psychological health. With stories of experiences from actual Non-Alpha Male clients bringing the theoretical into reality, Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male helps offer healing through hope, clarity, healing, and change.
Sex Addicts can be inandated with resentments that have fueled their sex addiction. 12 Step programs like SA or SAA typically address resentments during the 4th step of recovery. Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Andre who has actively worked his program and wants others to know why it is important to manage them as they come up in your relationships.
Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Nick Stumbo, who has his own personal story of hope and healing from Sexual Addiction. He believes that men and women need to find support, understanding and grace from thier church. He is going to talk about the fundamental principles of healthy sexuality and freedom within the church climate. He uses Pure Desire Ministries to help people find fellowship and sobriety.
When people experience abandonment, they are much more likely to develop addictions that numb the pain. Carol the Coach replays this show to help you understand how this creates an issue with attachment that feeds into your addiction.
What does a partner's healing look like after the initial crisis subsides? What is needed when she is past the initial shock? Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Lyschel Burket, who knows both personally and professionally.
After years of working with women who have navigated betrayal in their marriage and her own healing journey, Lyschel is familiar with the question "what's next?" So many women are still not sure how to move through the betrayal or what kind of help to seek out. Well meaning but uninformed support professionals are not giving women the encouragement to find good support for themselves and this is leaving women at a deficit with their own pain and trauma.
Oftentimes Lyschel meets with women who have known about the infidelity and betrayal for years but have never stepped to explore what kind of support is out there for them. They have been sitting in a holding pattern waiting for their husband to get well in hopes that this would help them get well too. In reality they still feel stuck. If you are a partner, today's show will give you some hope about the other side
Clint Davis wants to be able to talk about the balanced approach to therapy that he believes is imperative to creating real change in sex addicts. His treatment modalities include massage therapy, chiropractic care, a dietary modifications, to engage the client in looking at all aspects of his life. He explains, "We believe that working from a trauma informed model can help people make lasting change not just to their behavior but in their hearts. We are a Christian organization so we integrate faith and scripture if our clients ask for that while at the same time respecting others views and beliefs."
Tonight, he will talk about the the ACE Scale and sexual neglect being a huge issue and core reason sex addiction happens. He will speak about technology, age gaps, and the negative effects of social media and its links and difficulties when recovering from sex addiction or betrayal trauma.
Arrest is one of the most terrifying moment of your life. Family members may be shocked, numb, or in denial. It is difficult to come to terms with and when the arrest is for a sexual crime, there is additional shame and stigma. This experience can lead us to isolation and loneliness. Prison CONversation was created to deal with the shame and isolation of criminal charges and imprisoment.
Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Jim Prager who created this program to provide information to help people process what is going on and what needs to happen next as attorneys are ill equiped to deal with the emotional trauma, the individual and the family is going to experience.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Rebecca Maestas, LMSW, CCPS-c who uses a Couple Centered Recovery Model with her "2 Connect " groups. She has developed two groups that provide a Help. Her. Heal foundation including having the partners attend sessions at the end of the group for relational repair. The partners can seperately atttend a group to promote their healing and prepare them for the 2 Connect Group.
She also offers a "2 Freedom" group focuses on faith based mindfulness, self-compassion and shame resiliency to increase empathy for the partner.
Boundaries in Sex Addiction Recovery are essential to preventing relapse. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and a Certified EMDR Therapist. She is going to define what boundaries are and the important role they play in Sex Addiction Recovery for the addict. She will discuss 15 Boundaries that every man in Sex Addiction Recovery should establish and maintain.
Tonight, Carol the Carol, will be interviewing Judy Kelly, who is a CSAT, and has found it extremely helpful to use the Help. Her. Heal. book to assist addicts in helping their partners heal. She has made the techniques her own and has the men do additional activities to reinforce the need for on-going partner sensitive activites and shame resilience. She even has added a 5th type of communication style that she feels helps the addict stay strong and keeps them out of the shame spiral which ultimately helps the couple heal.
Carol will be speaking with Tim Kiernon who will be speaking about the importance of intensive treatment of sexual addiction and compulsivity for both the addict and the spouse/ partner. It is widely known that the more treatment the addict receives, the higher likelihood of sustained recovery. Tim runs A Better Lifetime Center for Hope and Healing. The Center is beginning a hybrid therapy and coaching program in December that will offer the person struggling with problematic sexual behaviors. His focus is not only on the problem but also on strategies for becoming and remaining sexually abstinent while finding rand pursuing good ecovery.
Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Patrick Hentsch who developed the Holistic Recovery Model which addresses the fact that living in recovery must mean much more than being abstinent (not doing certain behaviors) or being sober (having clear thoughts andemotions). It is about how we respond to our clear thoughts and emotions and allow them to guide us towards our authentic and integrated existence. It looks at the unified underlying cause that drives the great diversity of addictions with their correspondingly varied behaviors: the inability or unwillingness to fully embrace the rawness of being alive. Patrick explains that it distinguishes between mood-alteration, self-medication, and addiction, and clarifies their functions in relation to holistic recovery. Listen to this fascinating model and how you might use it in your life.
Tonight, Carol the Coach, will Debra L. Kaplan who is an expert on sex, money, and power in relationships. Debra is a CSAT who also had a history of working on Wall Street. It is no surprise that she sees many couples who have had sex addiction and still battle being in a controlling relationhip that results in feeling exploitive. Battle of the Titans is a book about power and how to masterfully balance the complex forces of sex, money and power in relationships. Power differentials are a constant across all realms and studies have shown that conflicts about money are the greatest predictor for divorce or relationship dissolution. Battle of the Titans delves deep into power dynamics of a relationship and provides tools for couples to establish sexual and financial balance in relationships.
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Steve Devlin, EdM. PhD, who explains that most of his professional career (1984-2007) was spent as a university-based researcher examining trends in aging, higher education, and deinstitutionalization. By all measures his career was on a successful path. Yet, throughout most of his adult life, he was accompanied by an addictive personality. In July 2007 he hit bottom and began his recovery journey.
He reports that on Sunday, August 30 he will mark 4,800 one-days-at-a-time of sobriety from all emotional, physical, and spiritual bottom lines. Rebuilding these three areas has become the foundation of his sobriety and serves as the focus of his work since 2009 as a recovery coach and an advocate for people with addictions. His goal with all clients is to help them find hope and new meaning to life. He is heavily influenced by the work of Victor Frankl.
Listen as Carol the Coach finds out what Steve's secret is to recovery and how you might utilize his recovery principles.
Sometimes, couples seem to be at an impasse as to how to heal from sexual betrayal. Tonight, Carol the Coach will talk to Allana Pratt, Intimacy Coach about the work that she advocates to get couples to move beyond the anger by raising their vibrational energy to increase their sense of intimacy and compassion.
For the last ten years, Brianne, had a secret she kept from all but a handful of people — I'm a recovering sex and love addict. When she learned to to share her secret, she has been able to change my life and, in the process, help other people to find peace in theirs.
In March, Brianne Davis,wrote her first article for the HuffPost; I'm A Sex And Love Addict. Here's How I Realized I Had A Problem. That came on the heels of writing her first book on the same subject called Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict.
She reports, "That's when the idea for the Secret Life Podcast was born. By sharing my stories, my secrets, I see that I can help others to not feel so alone. It has been such a freeing experience to connect with others while trying not to take myself so damn serious!"
Tonight, She will talk with Carol the Coach about her lmy journey as a sex and love addict and how I’ve used her experience to find a creative way to help other people with her writing and most importantly her podcast.
Men are not the only ones who struggle with addiction and other sexually destructive behaviors. Women struggle, too. And in recent years a growing number of women are struggling with online and sex addiction. Often it is harder for women who want help with these struggles to find it. Most resources seem to be geared towards men, so even seeking help adds a distinct type of “shame” for women who want help. Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jonathan Daughtery of Be Broken Ministries who, along with Kimberly Johnson have developed an online course for women who struggle with online addiction. He wants to offer several insights to women in the audience who are struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors. He wants to offer hope that your story matters and we are all more alike in our brokenness than different. He wants to offer truth that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and eternally loved by your Creator. And he wants to talk about the concept of surrendering to your higher power or God to provide you a way out.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Rich Badami who will be talking about how mindfulness, meditation and breathwork can calm anxiety and stress. She has an event called "Freedom From Trauma - Powerful and Profound Practices to Heal Trauma and Consciously Create the Body, Mind, Spirit You Truly Desire. Listen in as we discuss the power of thought and how it can transform trauma.
There are many helpful treatments that can alter the urges and cravings of a sex addict. Concurrently, hypnosis has been used as an adjunct therapy for the limiting belliefs that both addicts and their partners have as a result of the sexual addiction, Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Elena Mosaner MS who is a certified hypnotherapist, ICF certified coach, author, and member of the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH). She has been working with clients to rid them of their limiting beliefs which contribute to their addictive tendencies.
She would also like to discus how the Coronavirus pandemic, is creating unique anxieries and she is offering the public free downloads on her Stress Reduction Audio set which includes three recordings. The set is available on www.elenamosaner.com.
Listen to determine if hypnosis might be right for you!
Sexual betrayal trauma is devastating and takes a long time to recover from. Couples can survive infidelity, sex addiction and betrayal trauma. As you know Carol the Coach believes that here are certain things that the person who did the betraying must do to help his or her partner heal and there are tell-tale signs of recovery that the partner can look to help build trust and help him or her to heal. Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Heidi Kinsella who will be discussing what it takes to achieve long term sobriety and what recovery signs partners need to look for to see that their sex addicted partner is truly recovering from this addiction. She will also discuss what partners need to do for their own recovery to enhance healing.
It is mindboggling to know how to talk to kids.The parent child relationship is an intimate one, and as a clinician that works with families impacted by sex addiction, Dr. Piper Grant will discuss the importance, and how to talk to your children about sexual addiction. She will discuss what factors will need to be considered in order to assess appropriateness of a disclosure, how to have the conversation based on the age of children, how parents can prepare for it, and address common concerns.
The body and the brain want to heal.Many times talk therapy is not enough to heal the trauma that may have resulted in sexual addiction or trauma betrayal. Tonight, we will look at a documentary following two people using two different somatic therapies, EMDR, and transromational bodywork to overcome their past traumas.The Light, a documentary produced and directed by Bradley Mason features fellow colleague Wendy Conquest who explains how to create new neuropathways by using trauma treatments that heal the brain.
Carol the Coach interviews Carl Thomas who believes we need to reframe our conversations around the issues of addiction and focus more on the importance of healing the individual rather than the “evils” of and the sex industry. Over 8+ years of experience in this field and he has never seen a man find true & lasting freedom simply by controlling his environment. He believes that all the filters, all the parental restrictions, all the legislation, all the censorship… none of that is going lead a man to freedom. Because at the end of the day, is not the problem. We are.
Carl recognizes that is not a good thing and creates many problems for men, he doesn’t see as an “enemy” we must fight; but rather a distraction or an urlnhealthy option that we need to learn how to manage and avoid if we want to live with maximum effectiveness, purpose, and joy. use is simply a choice. We just need to choose better. He believs that this is a large reason why we have focused on community and connection as an avenue to true wholeness & freedom, not filters or technology. Because scientifically speaking, engaging in community and meaningful relationships improves brain health which leads to an increased capacity for better decision making and managing life’s challenges without the need for maladaptive resources like .
There is a new therapy model that is taking the country by storm. In her new book, Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy, Jenna Riermersma helps clients to make sense of their pasts. Jenna explains that "IFS is a way of understanding ourselves that takes into account that we all have different parts." IFS helps us relate to our parts more effectively which teaches us to cope differently. It gives people practical tools to improve mood, decrease maladaptive coping, increases resilience and uncovers a deeper spiritual journey.
Hilarie Barry will be talking about her mission to, along with her husband Joe, talk about the courageous decision to share their story of infidelity. She will be talking about the pain of discovery, the emotional rollercoaster of partner betrayal and PTSD. She will also be sharing with Carol the Coach the realization and understanding that her husband wanted to get well, and he needed her help! Together they have helped men and women struggling with sex addiction betrayal and they have shared these life lessons to give marriages hope.
This is a repeat of a show I did in 2018 talking about what exploitive sexual addiction.d
Sexual addiction afffects marriages and can result in therapeutic separations and divorce. In reality about half of US marriages fail and most of them involve children. One-fourth of those children of divorce are traumatized by the continual acrimony between their parents. Tonight, Carol the coach will be interviewing Dr. Larry Walman Ph.D. who is a clinical, forensic psychologist, consultan and author of 7 bookds including "Love Your Child More Than You Hate Your EX." He will be talking about how you can survive the trauma of an angry spouse.
Johua Nichols believes that in the early stages or recovery, unfaithful partners experience hostility or aggression from their injured partners primarily because (1) they don’t trust new experiences or behaviors from their partners; and (2) they are tired of hurting. But, “reflection aggression” isn’t really seen until after the crises have settled down and the addicts are gaining momentum in recovery. The primary purpose for this type of hostility is because the injured partners don’t want their wounds to be revealed. Partners are afraid that they will be hurt again so theycan resist trust resulting in the partners needing the addcit to remember that he is the sick one so they agress against them to avoid vulnerability. Listen as Carol the Coach finds out more about this phenomena that interferes in true recovery,
Is there a difference between men and women who suffer from sex addiction? Tonight, Carol Sheets is interviewing Amy Smith, the founder of Worth Recovery. She started podcasting about her experiences in sex addiction recovery in January 2016 and has hosted full day workshops for women in recovery in Salt Lake City, Seattle, Atlanta, and Buffalo. She offer supports groups and additional educational offerings for women as well.She knew there was a lack of resources for women, but what she thought was a small hole, turned out to be a gigantic chasm. Below are some of the resources I offer for women:
Worth Recovery Podcast - Available anywhere you listen to podcasts
Women's Stories Series - The episodes where I'm curating women's stories in sex addiction and recovery.
The Worth Circle - a paid online, moderated Facebook group where women can get support and maintain their focus on recovery.
goCarol the Coach will be interviewing Beronica Valli who is the Creator of the Soberful Program. She believesing to be talking about the Soberful program and The Five Pillars of Sustainable Sobriety. The five pillars hold up our sobriety- they are personal development for sober people. the five pillars are: Movement, Connection, Balance, Process and Growth.
We practice these in our lives as our addiction (no matter what that addiction is) is an external manifestation of an internal problem.
Carol the Coaach will be interviewing Tim Stein who serves the sex addiction population in a myriad of ways. Tim and his business partner created an on line course for Sex Addiction and Partner Betrayal to help this population understand the trauma that typically accompanies this condition. He wanted this community to have a "go to" that would normalize the process of addiction and help the community to understand the compulsion as well as the Partner Betrayal Trauma that accompanies i.
Tim also worte "Gifts of Recovery: Daily Meditations for Men and Women in Recovery from Sex Addiction."
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Carol Clark who is a Clinical Sexologist and runs a training program for professionals who work in the field of addiction. She wrote a book on skills and tools that people find really helpful in their daily lives called My Pocket Therapist:12 Tools for Living in Connection. She believes that what gives people hope and strength is to learn to live more fully in connection with themselves, with others, and with their spiritual connections. Therapists help remove the barriers to connection that we all develop to some extent from the moment we enter the world and also provide tools for maintaining a more connected life and this book keeps it simple in teaching you how to stay connected.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Jennifer Irwin who wrote the novel, A Dress the Color of the Sky. This book reads more like a memoir and shares one woman's battle with sex addiction to cope with childhood trauma. It is a riveting story and it helps the general publiic understand the dynamics behind why a woman would use sex to medicate. Her premise is that for too many years, Prudence Aldrich had been numbing the pain in her life with random sexual encounters. Her marriage to cold, self-centered Nick is, not surprisingly, on the rocks. But after several dangerous experiences with strangers, Prudence finally realizes she needs therapy to stop her self-destructive behavior, and so she checks into the Serenity Hills rehab center. Prudence blames herself for her irresponsible behavior and is filled with self-loathing. She’s convinced she is completely at fault for Nick’s manipulative attitude and believes with therapy, she can return their relationship to its idyllic beginnings. However, her therapist and the other members of her rehab group see the person behind the pain. As Prudence learns about herself and the reasons for her behavior, including startling revelations about her childhood, she begins to understand the basis for her lack of sexual self-respect. She also learns she is not entirely to blame for the failure of her marriage. With the positive reinforcement of everyone at Serenity Hills, Prudence learns not to define herself by her past. But moving forward would mean letting go of Nick for good, and Prudence isn’t sure she can.
Jennifer depicts what has to happen in Prudence's life to find wholeness within herself.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Stefanie Carnes about her new book entitled, "Courageous Love: A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal". Couragious Love is a book for couples who would like to work together to save their relationship, following an experience of betrayal. In the book, Dr. Carnes discusses betrayal trauma, and educates couples about normal responses to betrayal and how couples can work together to help repair the relationship. She shares the best strategies for cultivating honesty and talks about what couples can do to rebuild their relationship and redindle their intimacy.
Covid-19 has created some challenging circumstances for people who need counselling and yet it has also afforded us increased ingenuity. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Samantha Ammann who is going to explain how you can do EMDR virtually. She has a wealth of knowledge and wants to share it with our listening audience so you can continue your trauma work during Covid-19.
Online support and connection are available for those who are struggling with sex and addiction, paired substance/sex addiction, love addiction and other relationship issues on www.sexandrelationshiphealing.com. Addicts and loved ones of these can also get the guidance they need from experts like Dr. Rob Weiss and Dr. David Fawcett. Listen as Carol the Coach asks Tami VerHelst, Chief Relationship Officer about the drop-in discussion and support groups, podcasts, blogs, daily inspirations that Seeking Integrity offers to promote healing.
Ross Rosenberg has spent his life helping clients and clinicians understand how trauma attachment causes Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Tonight he will be talking about his theories that represents the most modern and scientifically up-to-date thinking about codependency. "Codependency,” is re-defined and re-conceptualized into “Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD)™," which is a trauma, core shame, pathological loneliness, and addiction disorder. The primary focus of tonights dialogue is on Rosenberg’s Ten Stage Self-Love Recovery Treatment Model, and how through it, a person transitions from being Self-Love Deficient to Self-Love Abundant – The “codependency cure.” If you battle with codependency, this show will provide information about how to resolve a person’s life-time battle with SLDD, and it will also facilitate hope and optimism for both the codependent, SLD, and/or trauma practitioner, or the person struggling with these conditions.
Recovery resources are fully online and this is great news for many reasons. Whether you’re anxious about leaving the house due to the current pandemic or too shy to walk in the door of a meeting or professional’s office, online help is a convenient option. In this episode, sex addiction specialist Forest Benedict shares from his experience as a fully online therapist and coach. We will discuss the benefits and limitations of working recovery online and how this modality can strengthen, connect, and inspire those who participate use it. Listeners will also learn how they can get help if they want to self-isolate due to the Coronavirus. Forest will share about his current Life After Lust program in California and the upcoming worldwide launch of his Heroes in Recovery coaching program. You don’t want to miss this relevant and timely conversation.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Ken Wells who has written the book, Dare to Be Average:Finding Brilliaance in the Commonplace. He explains how embracing “average” in life impacts the recovery life of an addict? He will explain how to have an open heart and how that impacts "going deep" to assist SA's in finding their brilliance. He believes that you can transform the experience of shame into the personal brilliance of compassion?
MBATT therapists are helping addicts and partners to reduce trauma triggers that interfere in healthy recovery. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Darrin Ford, Founder and Director of TMAATT has been studying years of research that inspired the Mindfulness Academy for Addiction and Trauma Training. Listen to why he believes that it is crucial to working through the chaos and trauma of addiction.
There are all sorts of ways that addicts experience interpersonal betrayal of trauma. Find out how tonight's guest Michael Crocker suggests therapists need to help addicts through the guilt and stop injuring themselves.
It is important for you to understand that you have an addiction, but who are you really? Carol the Coach interviews Rob, who wants to help people understand that he believes that the only way to surrender to one's true self is to surrender to what God wants him to be and when surrender occurs, he is liberated to follow his true legacy. Listen as Rob talks about the importance of understanding the first 3 steps within the 12 steps so that it can be the gateway to alll that you can be!
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Eddie Capparucci, who has created a process that he has found very successful in treating and sex addiction. He believes the road to recovery from sexual and ography addiction goes through your childhood. It is the various pain points we suffered as children, adolescents and teenagers that impact our sexual and ography addictions today. And the key to unlocking all of this can be found with the inner child. He has created the Inner Child Recovery Process for the Treatment of Sexual and ography Addiction to answer the "whys" that plague sex addicts and can empower them into abstinence.
There is research that suggests that 1 out of 6 men have been sexually abused before the age of 18. Many men chose not to disclose and my guest tonight, Dr. Kelli Palfy has written a book Men Too. It is a compilation of Kelly's research as a psychologist and a police officer who identified offending patterns and common grooming techniques that added to perpetration. She also wants the public to know why abused children and teens get misdiagnosed as ADD, or ODD. Listen as she encourages the listener to break the silence to increase his mental health.
Carol the Coach interviews Scott Brassart, who has written Sex and Addiction Healing and Recovery: A Daily Reader for Sex and Addicts. He believes this book will help addicts in recovery, because it shares the daily nuggets of information and wisdom that can guide you towards making healthy choices. He feels that there has been very little written to guide addicts on a daily basis that is relevant to the changing times of and sex addiction. Listen as he shares what you might need the most in your own journey through the process of recovery.
Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Alex, whose father was a sex addict. Her discovery occurred when she was contacted by his mistress and given the gory details of their affair. This is a story of the collateral damage that can occur as a result of sex addiction. Alex candidly shares her story of the betrayal and how she had to figure out how to be a child again and to love her dad regardless of the intimate, destructive decisions he had made in his life that affected both she, her mother, and nearly everyone in their lives.
Carol the Coach interviews Charlene Benson, who wrote Unstuck Move from Powerless to Empowered in your Relationships. The "Relationship Coach" wants you to understand the hidden reasons that drive your behaviors and ditch old patterns and embrace a healthier way of loving and experencing love. She will talk to you about the powerful pathways to help you avoid giving up in defeat or getting stuck at an impasse. Relationships can be tough so let Charlene make it a bit easier!
Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. David Fawcett who is a social worker and clinical sexologist. He is Vice President for Clinical Programming at Seeking Integrity and is seen as an expert on gay men. drug use and high rsk sexual behavior. His book Lust, Men and Meth: A Gay Man's Guide to Sex and Recovery is considered a recovery must in working with gay men. Listen as he talks about how Chem Sex, which is the pairing of drugs and sexual behavior, is becoming epidemic among gays and heterosexuals.
Sex addiction worsens when trauma goes undetected or untreated. This is a prepeat of a show that helps the SA understand about trauma.
Ambiguous Grief is a term that can be applied to all types of grief that do not have a hard definition for the change in a relationship.Tonight, Carol the Coach will be talking to Sophia Caudie who has a new model and book that talks about how difficult it may be to recognize and grieve the loss. She hopes that discussing it tonight will help clients understand how to work on the mourning that accompanies it.
Secrets, manipulations and addiction prevent the partner from trusting the spouse again. Tonight, I will be chatting with Geoff Steurer who is going to be talking about how the sex addict can make the unfaithful partner feel better and find effective trust-building efforts focused on caring for the betrayed partner as an individual worthy of respect.
Carol the Coach will be interview Cat Clark who has done a 4 book series about both she and her husband Frank and the transitions that have occured because of partner betrayal. Her immune system was dramatically compromised and so she talks with couples and partners as to what she did to minimize the damage and restore her serenity,
We are all pioneers in the field of sex addiction. Yet many therapists don't agree on whether sex addiction even exists. There are so many questions. Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Michael Salas from Vantage Point Dallas Counselling who weighs in on the controversy. He helps therapists to understand and treat compulsive sexual behavior. He says that when the therapist community struggles to find a balanced consensus on the topic, it can be difficult for people with CPSB and their partners choose the right help. He says that when the therapist who helps clients to unpack their own narratives, establish their own boundaries and identify the labels that best fit them...It will promotes more authentic, open discussions that help the client come to their own conclusions.
One of the challenges after 6-12 months of sobriety for individuals is handling their emotional life. After all, one reason why addictions start is to avoid feeling emotions to begin with.Our guest Jan M. Bergstrom, who wrote Gifts from a Challenging Childhood; Creating a Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self, believes that individuals have to to heal from family of origin trauma. In our show, she will help us understand how to re-parent our historical parts.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a partner who has had to readjust her whole life as a result of sexual addiction. Here how she coped and found strength as she began to depend solely on her self and safe people within her environment.
Carol the Coach interviews Jim who has garnered a variety of modalities and philosophies to understand and treat his sexual addiction. He will be speaking about the modalities he used and the deal breaker that he believes is crucial to good sexual addiction recovery. Jim has an extensive history and wants to share it with you!
Repeat of a previous show that discusses impulse control issues associated with sex addiction.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Chris Countryman LCSW about how emotions interplay with sex addiction. Chris has found that sex addicts often find themselves alternately blocking emotions or feeling overwhelmed by them. Researchers have found that difficulty in managing emotions plays a big part in the development of sex addiction, and learning how to work with and integrate emotions is a big part of recovery. Listen as Chris and Carol the Coach address the basics of emotions theory, and how applying emotional tools can help in recovery.
Carol the Coach is interviewing addictions expert Greg Woodhill who is host of the podcast A Brave New Man Podcast. Greg is going to be talking about when does sexually explicit images become problematic and what emotions it might be masking. Listen as Greg talks about how affects the brain.
Carol the Coach interviews Jeanne Vattuone about the video course that she and colleague Tim Stein created to explain sexual addiction and partner betrayal. The course is an introduction to sex addiction and partner trauma and discusses the behavioral and neurological perspectives of both. It helps you to know what resources are available. This 15 segment course is a game changer for helping people understand sex addiction and relational trauma.
Carol the Coach interviews Juan Carlos who wrote a book on transformation after recovery. Shining with Bravery is a book where he helps others work through their life's purpose to get sober and find themselves in the process!
This show will equip addicts and partners to face their indivdual and shared losses together, creating deeper, more meaningful trust that can be rebuilt in an accelerated way. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Jake Porter of Daring Ventures as he explains how harnessing the power of grief and trauma can be used to promote positive personal growth.
Sexual Betrayal impacts every area of a couple's life and sex addiction specialist Wendy Conquest wants to help couples get "unstuck" and begin to develop intimacy again. Listen as the author of Letters To A Sex Addict, shares strategies to help couples on their sexuality journey.
This is a repeat of a show Carol did with Intimacy Anorexia Expert Doug Weiss.
He is a facinating guest with a great message for recovery!
When a relationship is impacted by sex addiction, navigating sexual arousal, desire, and sexual activity can be confusing and challending. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist as well as a CSAT and an APSATS therrapist. Tonight, she will be helping both addicts and partners learn more about this issue so that they can heal and grow sexually on their journey through treatment for sex addiction recovery and healing from sexual betrayal. Listen as this expert helps you to know how to proceed in your relationship.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Troy Love who believes that 100% of his clients that struggle with SA are suffering from attachment wounds, loss, rejection, neglect, abandonment, betrayal or abuse.He has a specialized model that not only explores the dynamics of SA but assists addicts in a pathway to healing.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing expert Candice Christiansen who will help us understand how people on the Autism Spectrum may suffer with intimacy disorders and self-stimulation issues leading to problematic sexual behavior.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Kellyb McDaniel who specializes in treating women who experience addictive relational patterns. She is the first clinician to name Mother Hunger as an attachment injury and urges clinicians to explore the repercussions of bonding or non-bonding with an emotionally compromised mother. Find out how women with these issues experience a variety of cyclical, self-sabatoging behaviors.
If you suffer from Insecure-Avoidant Style of Attachment, it is likely that you have replaced your need for spontaneous play with strictly eroticized/sexualized behaviors that keep you isolated and searching for ongoing acting out. Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Michael Crocker who uses Stuart Brown's book Play to reinforce the need for spontaneity for fun, play and attachment. Michael will describe "negative affect scripts" and how they contribute to Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior.
It is important to do good recovery work individually and in relationship with your spouse. Until you have good sobriety, you can not get involved in intensive counseling work but you can develop the rituals to improve the structure to build trust like using reflective listening, mirroring, empathy, and and willingness to be there for your spouse.
Listen as Carol the Coach shares with you what you need to know to begin to build trust!
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, Sex Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist who knows how difficult it can be to work through the collateral damage done to oner's sexuallity after Partner Betrayal.She will be talking about some of the ways trauma is evident related to the partner's sexuality at the befinning of recovery. She will also address the common fears that occur after discovery.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sara Schulting Kranz who will be discussing the value of nature therapy on your mind, heart and soul. As a partner of a sex addict, she will talk about how being in nature can have positive impact on a traumatized brain! She takes women out to the Grand Canyon and helps them find the power within them.
The connection between empathy and different forms of intimacy creates an opportunity for the couple to increase the 8 stages of intimacy slowly while building trust and safety with in the relationsip which has been shattered by betrayal. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews co-author Allan J. Katz who will be talking about empathy.
Carol the Coach interviews Cara W. Tripodi who is the Executive Director and CEO of START which specializes in problematic sexual behaviors and partner betrayal. When Partners experience the crisis, many decisions and trauma related concerns are present as they explore the fallout from the crisis often in ther first year or two. However the long-term needs are often where deeper inner change occurs, regardless of whether their relationship lasts post discovery/disclosure. Themes related to grief and loss; exploration of faily of origin themes: as well as intimacy and trauma resolution are often addressed at this time.
Carol is going to be talking about her newly released workbook for sex addicts to develop empathy and begin the necessary steps to help her heal. Addicts don't know how to help their partners navigate through the process of her pain, so Help.Her.Heal has the formula that will help him to know what to do as his spouse goes through the excrutiating pain of sexual and partner betrayal.
No matter what trauma has occured in your life...it is 100% your responsibility to find ways to shift your thinking using your energy. Tonight Dr. Sue Morter will be talking about her new book The Energy Code: The Seven Step System to Awaken Your Spirit, Heal Your Body, and Live Your Best Life. She will be showing us how to remove subconscious blocks to live our best lives! Whether you are an addict in good recovery or a partner who is working through the betrayal trauma, Dr. Sue will inspire you to use your own personal resources to make it happen.
Carol will be talking about how Elijah helps you to do the next right thing in recovery and can help to transform you into the person that you want to be. This for recovering addicts and their spouses who want to strengthen their sense of identity and integrity,
Carol the Coach is interviewing Andrew Susskind, a therapist who knows that sex addiction is about brokeness and not compulsivity. His new book that is coming out It's Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction will help people see that there is a broken heartedness that needs to be repaired. He maintains that sexual addiction is not about sex...Hear why he believes it is about lack of connection!
Empathy is the anedote to relational repair and tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Liana Allison who is an expert in empathy and emotional maturity. She iis going to talk about how to manage negative emotions and use them to develop empathy. She will be sharting her method and how her skills bring together connection due to empathy.
Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake who have written a book on the Full Disclosure and why it is so important to have it done with specialists who will create the space to do it in a helpful and safe environment. This book is for partners and addicts to know what to expect from a disclosure and to create a place for couples to heal.
Tonight they will share what a typical disclosure session looks like and how to navigate through it. This is the first book written to help you identify the truth and why it is important for the Addict and the Partner to share the truth to start the recovery process!
Both addicts and partners can have childhood wounding that interferes in their current relationship. Carol the Coach is interviewing David Essel, who is an abuse expert who wants to help clients work through their trauma. He is going to be sharing symptoms and manifestations of PTSD which frequently accompanies the abuse. He also will share some healthy resources to get you past your past.
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Brian and Jennifer, a recovering couple who have a mission to support couples who have been ravaged by Sexual Addiction. They have done their own personal work but know that rebuilding their relationship involves some special skills that are a result of being in a coupleship that has been fractured. They will be sharing their "tips" for rebuilding their relationship!
There is no doubt that Sexual Addiction affects everyone in the family and it can be particularly difficult to navigate how to involve the children in this family problem.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Kristin Cary who has helped families for over a decade tell us what can be helpful in maaging the problem while being sensitive to the children.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Doug Weiss who runs a program that treats addicts, partners and couples with intensives, recovery coaching and counseling.
Carol the Coach interviews a therapist who wants to know the basics about sexual addiction. Listen as he asks all the questions that a novice would want to know like...What are the common mistakes that therapists make when they know nothing about sexual addiction.
IFS is a higly effective and compassionate way of understanding all human behavior and it can help the addict understand his acting out. Carol the Coach is interviewing Jenna Riemersma who is an IFS expert. She will be sharing how the SA and PA can both benefit from the techniques and insights of IFS.
Many clients want to get to the root of why and how did they develop sexual addiction. Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Shawn Kispert who is an expert at helping sex addicts determine what were the negative things that they thought and said to themselves that led them to find behaviors that would reinforce their beliefs. Shawn will explain how EMDR can change the maladaptive thoughts that feed the addiction.
Want to try an alternative treatment that can help you manage the urges and cravings of sex addiction? Tonight, Carol the Coach talks to Colleen Klein, LCSW and CSAT who practices EFT, the Emotional Freedom Teechnique that focuses on tapping on the meridians of the body with her clients to reduce or eliminate psychological and physical symptoms that can trigger SA.
There is all types of help out there to support Sex Addiction recovery. Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dave E. who will be describing his "rock bottom" and what finally led him into solid recovery. He, like Patrick Carnes believes, that you have to go through suffering, true transformation and find the "real self." Listen as Dave shares his story aout real life and real life-giving connections to God, his authentic self and to reality.
Carol the Coach is interviewing the prolific Dr. Rob Weiss, author of 6 books including Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency. Rob is going to be talking about the effects of the #MeToo movement and how a healthy dialogue is the start of reframing what needs to happen to respect each other in healthy ways.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Mari Lee, the internationally and nationally recognized co-author of "Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts" and "Healing Betrayal: First Healing Steps for Partners of Sex and Addicts." Mari believes that intentional self care is essential for partners of sex addicts. Listen as they discuss the 12 tenets to follow while dealing with the aftermath of sexual addiction.
If you are looking for an intensive followed by an on-line program to assist the coupleship in healing, than this is the show for you! Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marnie Breecker and Duane Osterlind who have co-created the Helping Couples Heal Program that involves a 3 day intensive followed by an intensive online support resource to assist couples in their healing. This ongoing psychoeducational support is instrumental in helping couples heal!
Dr. Rob Weiss has started a movement that eliminates the word Codependency and it is called Prodependence. He is the author of Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency. We know longer want to pathologize Partners by saying that they are Co-addicts or Co-Dependents. Partners had no idea that their spouse was an addict and therefore they should not be seen as defective or sick. It is time to honor a partner who wants to work through the addiction that has ravaged the family.
Kim Buck CSAT, MAPC, LPC, is developing a workbook that will change the way we look at partners and the addict that they love.
Listen as Carol the Coach, along with Kim Buck helps to change this trajectory and honor the partner!
One of the greatest tools you have in recovery is using your thinking to reframe the struggles of your life. Listen as Carol the Coach interview author, Johnnie Calloway who wrpte Dragons to Butterflies is a specialist in using the mind to activate potential. He is a certified mind coach and will teach you how to forgive the unforgivable, find peace in the chaos of life and discover self-love.
Do you sometimes wonder if you are addicted to love? Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Lacy Alajna Bentley who is an expert on Love Addiction. In her new released book Addicted to Love she describes the recovery tools necessary to combat this addiction and live the life you deserve.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Reese Crane who is a Christian Counselor and started The Silent Addiction to help people combat the effects of on our society. Listen as Reese helps the listener connect spirituality to recovery.
We want to be respectful of a person's sexual identity and there are so many terms ... it can be confusing. It is important for a person to be true to themselves and yet sometimes that requires a "period of discovery." Dr Crystal Hollenbeck is a sex therapist and sex addiction therapist and she is going to educate us about the 4 types of sexual orientations. She willl also discuss sexual anorexia, sexual disorders, the many types of types of intimacy and the different terminologies that people are using in today's world.
This NewYear could mark the change you have always wanted....You can change your life today if you follow the recovery tools necessary to work what works! Listen to this replay and write down your goals because it works if you work it!!! Happy New Year!
If you are having trouble staying in good recovery, you may need an intensive to accelerate your recovery. Intensives can save you lots of time and money in the long run and are a great foundational tool for success. Restoration is a private practice out of Texas, and has created a 4 day intensive program that will help you identify the causes of your struuggles It is a unique opportunity to do work with CSAT candidates that folow the Carnes model and yet works with family systems, attachment and trauma based modalities.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Christian Hutcheson who did research to find out what therapy would work the best for couples who suffered sexual addiction. Solution Focused Narrative Therapy greatly improved their intimacy and it moved them into forward thinking. Carol the Coach says that it takes couples to the stage of Post Traumatic Growth. If your coupleship seems as if it has plateaued ...listen as Dr Hutcheson tells you how to move it forward and learn how to dream outside of the current situation to create more closeness in the relationship.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interview Michelle Mays who wrote an ebook on what a partner should do once he/she discovers the sexual addiction. It is a guide that will help you navigate how to get through this crisis!
Sexual addiction is one of the hardest addictions to treat and historically there has been very llittle after care for addicts who wanted to live in an environment that promoted sobriety. Listen as Ashley Smart discusses their structured program and what it has to offer sex addicts. Outer Circle Recovery is built around the philosophy that it is possible to live a life of sobriety free from addiction. Henry House is an 11 bed male only recovery redidence that can help to support problematic sexual behavior.
It is time to stop pathologizing family members who love addicts. Rob Weiss is at the forefront of starting a new movement to understand the plight of loved ones of addicts and see them in a new light. If you have wondered if you are codependent you must listen to this show
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a leader in Every Man's Battle who will explain to you what the program has to offer and why it is so successful.
It is important for you to have a successul support group and EMB will help you sustain recovery and sobriety.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Gail Dines who is the spokesperson and advocate for protecting kids from . She and her team have single handedly changed how congress looks at this epidemic. Her mission is to protect children and she has a "Culture Reframed Parents Program" that will teach you how to protect your children in this environment.
Impaired judgement and compulsive problematic sexual behavior can lead to boundary violations in the family. Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing David Essel who wants you to understand how someone could commit such a relationship violation. If incest has happened in your family you will want to hear his take on what to look for and how to proceed to keep yourself and your family safe.
This is a repeat of an important show on Conflict with Carol the Coach.
Conflict is normal, natural and necessary but it is not easy...especially if you are engulfed in shame.
Listen for ways to navigate it with Carol the Coach.
Toxic relationships are confusing. It often takes a recovery program to move out of them. Love Adddiction Expert, Shena Tubbs talks with Carol the Coach about the definition of Love Addiction and Toxic Relationships and the support available to move out of them.
Tonight Carol the Coach will be interviewing Beth who has experienced physical, sexual, and spiritual death as a partner and she knows that this is a common feeling that you may feel in your marriage. She says that the partner may live in a facade going to work and living life as a normal person when in reality she is deprived from the basic needs one might expect in a marriage. Beth talks about what she sees as the anecdote to healing what is attainable as long as it is filled with self care.
Money issues and financial distress is all a part of the sexual addiction cycle. Listen as renowned "sex addiction's expert" Debra Kaplan talks about her new audio book which will help to unravel the damage that sexual addiction has contributed towards in the relationship. Debra Kaplan, who wrote For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual and Financial Betrayal in Relationships turns a provocative, literary lens on the world of sex, money and relational power. For over a decade, Ms. Kaplan has been a licensed psychotherapist treating problem related to sex addiction, money and relationships. Join us for a provocative exploration into relationships about sex, money and power.
Discovering sexual betrayal is devestating for all involved. Relationship Betrayal Trauma Recovery is essential for a person to heal from the wounds of being betrayed by their spouse or intimate partner. However, knowing what to do when you discover the secret betrayals can be overwhelmingly confusing. Carol the Coach will be inteviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who specializes in helping individuals and couples heal the wounds of relationship betralyal. Today she is going to help couples understand what to do after the discovery occurs.
If you have anger from the past and you fear that it is effecting your relationship, you may suffer from eroticized rage. Listen as Carol the Coach helps you to work through the rage that is keeping you safe but is an unhealthy reenactment of the trauma that you suffered in your past.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing shame expert, Judy Kelly LCSW, CSAT, CDWF, who will be explaining why sex addicts have difficulty working through their shame. Judy holds workshops that help addicts to develop the shame resiliency to experience vulnerability and learn to become authentic, transparent and honest with their feelings.
How do you recover from sexually addictive behavior and create more intimacy in your relationships? The key is to work on your vulnerability. Listen as Marie Krebs, a "Vulnerability and Intimacy Expert" shares how you can hold more space while trust is rebuilt and intimacy is increased. She believes that understanding the intersextion of vulnerability and intimacy is critical if you intend to have a solid foundation for a deep and lasting relationship with your partner over time.
Compulsive "" viewing can ruin an addict"s life. It is not "just " it is an addiction that ruins family life, relationships, and all aspects of one's life. Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing a Christian Counselor - Reese Crane who helps addicts break free from addiction. He has learned how to use his life struggle and create purpose out of his life and for his community. Listen to his facinating story of how he turned his life around and the struggles that helped to set him free!
Sex addiction causes intimacy issues and tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Carol Clark who has written the book Addict America: The Lost Connection. Dr. Carol Clark wants listeners to look at how family of origin issues may be impacting their current relationship. She will be discussing the Paradox of Power, and ways to lower the defenses in order to learn new ways of relating to each other so that both the addict and the partner can find the love they deserve.
Kids are bombarded with sexual messages that are both intriguing and confusing. Parents and schools are at a loss for how to handle compulsive acting out. Listen as Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marnie Ferree founding Director of Bethesda, who is building a treatment program for kids who are acting out sexually and lack the support to alter their behavior. If you have a child who es exhibiting out of control behavior, this program will give you some hope that help is near.
Love addiction is common for people who have childhood wounds that occured in their family. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Kelly McDaniel who is an expert in the field of love addiction. Kellly sees a pre-existing factor called "mother hunger" which feeds into the desire to find love and the compulsion to ease the pain. Listen as Kelly talks about her book, Ready to Heal which helps people to determine how to get healthy from love addiction.
Gary Wilson is the expert on how erotic material effects the brain and Carol the Coach is interviewing him about how erotic visual materials and compulsive masterbation effects the brain. This is a classic show that will help you understand neuroscience and the brain.
For many addicts, eroticized rage shows up as a contributing factor in sexual addiction. Carol the Coach interviews experts Kate Balestrieri and Lauren Dummit who believe that sex addicts need to understand how anger and rage feed into their addiction and what they can do to work through it. Kate and Lauren will discuss the components behind these emotions and how it plays out in your relationships.
Carol the Coach interviews Josh Nichols who believes that it is important for a recovering sex addict and partner to have intensity in their recovery program. He relies on the 5 pillars of recovery to create a true recovery program.
Carol the Coach will be talking with Garry Eldridge of Lighthouse Counseling Center who believes that surrendering to sex addiction means that in recovery you change your life. He says that the 12 Steps boils down to Trusting a Higher Power, Cleaning up Your own House and Serving Others.
He states the recovery journey is not about defeating the addiction and fighting for sobriety, instead it is about using the steps to create a new life that is liberating and motivating! Listen as he shares his unique perspective.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Tom Gagliano who believes that this is indicative of sexual addiction but it also is an act of power and control. He feels that Harvey is a sexual predator. He believes that men and women are no longer afraid to speak up and say "No More" to sexual exploitation. Listen as Carol and Tom talk about how the world is changing one voice at a time.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gavin Sharpe tonight who is a British Psychotherapist who is a sex addiction specialist in Monaco and the South of France. He will be talking about the Denial Process and how it feeds active sex addiction. Patrick Carnes states that Denial is the first Recovery Task to break. Find out what Gavin would recommend to break trough the cognitive distortions that contribute towards sexual addiction.
Women who live with love addiction and find worth in their sexuality and sex based patterns are a unique breed. They have learned to cope in a sex driven world. Many have been through childhood trauma. Lacy A. Bentley, author of Overcoming Love Addiction:Your Recovery Roadmap, will be speaking with Carol the Coach about how to break this addictive pattern and find self worth in the process.
We all know that sex is a difficult subject to discuss with our kids but now that kids are being exposed to sex and pron at an avereage age of 11, it is imperative that you be proactive and guide your child through that exposure. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dina Alexander Founder of EducateEmpowerKids.org which is a powerful resource for helping parents to talk about ography.
Erica Garza is the author of the memoir, Getting Off a chronicle of her journey through sex and addiction. Her fixation on and orgasms, strings of failed relationsips. and serial hook-ups with strangers led her to feeling shame and isolation. Listen as she shares how she got sober and turned her life around.
It can be tough to be in Sexual Recovery and know what you want in a relationship. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Relationship Guru David Essel who has just written a book called Focus which assists you with finding love and compatibility no matter where you have been or what has happened in your past. .
What if things are good for awhile, but slowly or suddenly those SA behaviors come back with a vengeance? Gaelyn Rae Emerson has put together a "Relapse Preparedness Workshop" that helps Partners develop an emergency response protocol to assess what couples need to do when dealing with the common problem of relapse. Recovering sex addicts make better choices when they are able to see what the consequences of their actions will be and partners willl feel more secure with knowing how to handle these tough situations. Listen as Gaelyn takes us through the steps of "relapse preparedness."
Carol Sheets will be interviewing renowned author, Mari Lee, who has written the book Gifts in the Wound: Stories of Hope and Resilency where she shares real stories of partners and couples who moved through the pain of sex addiction and partner trauma and found their way back to strength through recovery.
Dating can be hard enough when you are just starting to connect with people of interest but it can feel terrifying when you are working on yourself and don't want to want to re-enact old patterns from your past. Recovery and Relationship Expert Jackie Pack will be sharing with Carol the Coach the strategies behind healthy dating and will be discussing a 3 day intensive that Healing Paths have developed to make that process easier.
Need to build your sexual relationship? Listen as Carol the Coach tells you how to improve the intimacy in your relationship.
Experential Therapy can be very beneficial for people suffering from sex and love addiction. It allows you to take past events, situations and conversations and bring them into the present moment to deal with them in the here and now. Allan J. Katz has written a book Experiential Group Interventions with DBT: A 30 Day Program for Treating Addictions and Trauma which he has found to be extemely helpful in healing the wounds of addiction. Listen as he and his group share their experience.
Carol the Coach interviews "Mindfulness Expert" Claire Caines who will be sharing how she helps addicts to move out of the auto pilot state that has occured from numbing. She teaches that when addicts become aware of what is happening in the present moment, in their bodies, thoughts and emotions, it will lead them to good recovery choices and a more solid recovery. She will be sharing practices and resources that target relapse prevention that she teaches to recovery groups at the Caines Center.
For a man with seemingly unlimited potential, Clint succeeds in making an absolute mess of his life. He risks all for his addiction and is oblivious to the self-destructive path that he's on. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews the author, Dr. Milton S Magness who has written this fascinating novel that depicts a cowboy with multiple addictions, sufferings, and transformations.
Carol the Coach is interviewing Bill who has worked diligently on fine tuning his tools to hold himself accountable to maintain good recovery and he is willing to share them with you!
Listen as they discuss how this process has helped Bill to take his recovery to the next level!
John and Karen have used their recovery to help other couples who have struggled with addiction and affairs.They describe the turmoil this caused in their family and how they not only survived but thrived to help others through the depths of this addiction. Listen as Carol the Coach talks with them about the process of rigorous honesty and how John got sober and how Karen moved her life forward!
Rob Weiss and Marnie Ferrree have adapted this book to the Christian audience. Unfaithful mates neeed targeted material that helps them understand the depth of their partners' pain, and Out of the Doghouse for Christian Men - A Redemptive Guide for Men Caught Cheating will help them get there.
When Partners are triggered it can be ugly. Find out how PTSD can take the brain off line and find ways to help your partner feel safe and secure again
Carol the Coach iinterviews Joshua Shea who seemingly had it all. A loving wife, two children and a City Council position in Maine. Life as he knew it came to a screeching halt when he was arrested on a charge of underage ography posession in 2014. Listen as you hear about his book, The Addiction That Nobody Will Talk About. How My ography Addiction Hurt People and Destroyed Relationships.
Carol the Coach and Ev are co-writing a memoir of the struggles of being the partner of a sex addict. Ev is writing her story and Carol is adding a clinical aspect by explaining the sides of partner trauma and sex addiction. Together they hope to put all the puzzle pieces together to this confusing saga of living with a sex addict.
Carol interviews Kathy Reynolds and Jake Porter who practice couple-centered recovery. These exports feel like it not only improves relationships that are riddled with addiction but they also treat the relational trauma and trauma reactions that have occured as a result of the SA trauma and the earlier childhood traumas as well. They will be explaining their model and the benefit to the coupleship.
Carol will be interviewing Ross Rosenberg who is a specialist on codependency, narcissism, and trauma. He has rewritten The Human Magnet Syndrome and want to share his thoughts and insights as to why people attract certain people into their lives.
Tonight Carol interviews Larry Bilotta who shares his own marriage troubles until he discovered some skills to turn his marriage around.
Larry will be describing the natural co-dependency that may occur in your marriage and how to turn that arund. He will also describe how childhood wounds that you both may have suffered could feed into the healing that has to occur.
This show is a must for any relationship that has suffered from addiction. If you want to build your forgiveness muscle and contribute towards strengthening your relationship, you will want to tune in for this show of hope, strength and recovery.
Tonight Carol the Coach answers call in questions about partner betrayal. Partners inquire how they can not only survive but thrive as they navigate the vortex of sexual addiction and restore their own personal serenity.
How do your repair your sexual relationship? Listen as Carol the Coach explains how to build trust and intimacy.
Carol the Coach interviews Gary Wilson who is explains the nuero-circuitry behind Sexual Addiction
Love Addiction and Sex Addiction can look similiar and many clients fear that they are not sure which disorder that they suffer from when looking at their addiction. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews an expert who will help you define the difference.
Carol the Coach wants her listening audience to access all the resources out in the world to help Addicts and Partners to heal.
Tonight she will be interviewing Anne who has founded Betrayal Trauma Recovery which is a non profit that offers services and a weekly podcast for wives/girlfriends of sex addicts to heal from the betrayal trauma. Currently, they are running a special service whereby APSATS coaches offer specialized coaching via the telephone to assist the spouse get through this traumatizing time.
Listen as Anne shares ways to access help for all that is involved!
Couples Therapy can look different for couples in "Early Recovery" than the traditional model dictates. Jeanne Vattuone is a skilled therapist who has developed a model for couples in early recovery who are still reeling from the discovery of sexual addiction. Listen as she shares with Carol why this approach will foster communication and trust.
Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Michael Barta who developed a new model of treatment call TINSA which treats the trauma induced sexual behaviors. This means the program treats the emotiona pain ives in the bbrain and the autonomic nervous system. Listen as he describes what childhood wounds may be contributing the this wounding and the program that he has developed to treat it.
Mindfulness is a powerful tool to teach addicts how to see the thoughts generated by the mind and not to engage in these thoughts. It teaches addicts how to disconnect from the thoughts in part because there is acceptance that they are there to teach you something. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Darrin Ford who co-wrote with Cristy Cosper the groundbreaking book: Transforming the Addictive Mind.
Carol the Coach talks with sexpert Dr. Piper Grant who helps couples heal their fractured relationships and then assists them in reengaging them towards a healthy sexual relationship.
In tonight's show , she will be talking about what couples need to do or know to move their relationship towards intimacy.
In early recovery, you need the tools to combat the behaviors and cravings that will interfere with that deeper and long-lasting freedom of recovery. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Lerza co-founder of the The Recovery Tribe. Alex is going to be announcing the new platform that rTribe 2.0 will be offering to addicts that will provide affordable, anonymous help from experts in the field of sex addiction. You are not alone in this journey and Carol the Coach will be showing you how to increase your support!
Intimacy is more than just sex. It is trust, communication, closeness and bonding. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex A. Avila who wrote "40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Connection Into Your Couple Relationship to find out what you can do to rebuild your relationship after it has been fractured.
Sometimes Borderline Personality looks like Partner Trauma. I have many partners who come into the office and they wonder if they have BPD because a therapist who is not a partner specialist does not understand trauma.
Carol the Coach interviews Shena Tubbs who will help our listeners identify the clinical criterea of BPD and together we will examine why it is so often misdiagnosed.
Being a male partner of a sex addict can be extremely tough for a variety of reasons. Listen as this man shares his story and the work he has done to get through the ordeal of having been married to a female sex addict. Carol will address the differences in perspectives.
Jürgen Schmechel's mission is to inspire thousands of men to create loving, respectful relationships. Carol the Coach will be finding out his do's and don'ts for men whom have not had the experience of being in a good childhood and consequently don't know how to build or rebuild a relationship that is loving, nurturing and safe.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Faith Niece LMHC, CSAT who works directly with the men who come to Next Chapter Treatment Center for help with their sexual compulsive behaviors as well as other addictions.They customize a treatment plan that is unique to each resident with a team of therapists, clinicians and other professionals that work on addictive behaviors and the trauma behind them.
Listen as Faith shares the journey of men who decide to do the hard work of recovery at Next Chapter
This is a replay of a show we did on Abandonment. Connection is the annecdote to Sexual Addiction and Abdonment is a precurser to medicating feelings and filling the void.
Listen as Carol the Coach shares more about abdonment.
Recovery is can be obtaind but what happens when you can't seem to find the closeness and emotional intimacy that you so desire in your relationship. What happens if your relationship suffers from Intimacy Anorexia??? Listen as Carol shows you the tools that make it easy to navigate through issues surrounding inimacy and develop the closeness you both want in your relationship.
This is a repeat of a show that details how love addiction surfaces in attempts to heal the childhood wounds and attachment issues from the past.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing co-authors Dan Drake and Wendy Conquest who have collaborated a sequel to Wendy's book ---- Letters from a Sex Addict. This book explores what it is like to be a sex addict and how readers and clinicians alike can use this book to walk ing the journey of a sex addict in letter from to his partner from the pre-recovery through the recovery process. They hope that this book willl provide relational healing and understanding of this epidemic in today's world
Partner sensitive treatment not only enhances the coupleship but it also increases the self esteem of the Sex Addict because it allows him to rebuild the broken relationship . Tim Stein MFT, discusses why it is imparative for the addict to find an effective balance between focusing on the addict's sobriety and recovery work while also being aware of the partners experience and helping the relationship to grow out of the crisis that sexual addiction causes.
Carol the Coach interviews Troy Love MSW, LCSW, who wrote the Best-Selling Workbook "Finding Peace: Healing from Loss, Neglect, Abandonment, Betrayal and Abuse." This book helps clients to heal from depression, anxiety and trauma while finding greater joy and peace. Listen as you find how about the shadows of shame and how they hijack your happiness.
Sex Addiction is very misunderstood and Rebecca Rosenblat is going to discus what sex addiction is and isn't. She will address commmon myths, and distinguish between sex addiction and affairs.This expert has authored 7 books and she will be discussing Overcoming Betrayal The Breakthrough Therapeutic Approach A Couples Guide to Healing from Both Persectives. Listen as Carol the Coach and Rebecca give you some hope, strength and recovery
Carol the Coach will interview David Essel who wrote the book Positive Thinking Will Never change You Life But This Book Will! The Myth of Positive Thinking the Reality of Success. He is not a believer of Positve Thinking and he believes that genetics do not play a part in addiction. He believes that addiction is our inabillity to deal with our own emotions, failures, successes, insecurities, resentment, and boredom. He also believes that affirmations may actually hold people back in life.
Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Michelle Mays who is the founder of a new website www.PartnerHope.com. This website will guide partners through the 6 stages of recovery and give strength, hope and recovery to partners who have been traumatized by their spouses addiction.
Michelle is the founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery and helps individuals and couples navigate through the trauma cause by sex addiction.
Sex Addiction effects the self and everyone who loves the sex addict. Listen as Carol the Coach delves into why someone would have this compulsion and how to manage it!
You have heard me tell you to detach with love and let go of the feelings that accompany Trauma. Tonight, I will be interviewing Leah Guy who has a different spn on emotional health. She will be talking about the difference between emotional health and mental health and why letting go may be the worst advice for moving on and healing. In her book, The Fearless Path, Leah talks about a radical awakening to emotional healing and inner peace.
This is a repeat show that describes what love addiction is and how it manifests itself.
Happy 4th of July to all our American Listeners!
Carol the Coach interviews therapist/owner Dorit Reichental who is opening Kintsugi Center for Healing which is a retreat center in Montecito, a suburb of California. Kintsugi Center for Healing is a place for people impacted by sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, to come to for emotional, psychological, and spiritual healing. If you are looking for a special place to do your work as a couple ... you may have just found the spot!
Carol the Coach interviews Kristen A. Jenson author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures and founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org.
She felt the need to help parents educate school age children about seeing ography on their tablets. She offers 5 safety rules which help children stay safe from sexting and sextortion. Her new book Bood Pictures Bad Pictures, Jr .is a must for any parent but especially if you are aware that has been viewed in your home!
There is often times a dark side that feeds sexual addiction. Find out more about how to combat or surrender to it and then what to do next.
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews a woman who wants to develop trust but is so overcome by hurt that she fears giving the relationship a fair chance. Listen to the advice that Carol gives to partners of sex addicts who want to heal but are not sure how!
Carol the Coach interviews Brannon Patrick who believes that recovery for both the addict and the betrayed is all about connection. Real recovery happens when someone gets reconnected again. Connection to God, Self, and Others is what heals addiction and betrayal trauma. Addiction undermines connection and causes attachment problems. He will outline the specific indicators of healthy connection to God, Self and others and give examples and symptoms of disconnection. He will provide tools and strategies to reestablish vulnerable connection. He will illustrate and give examples of self compassion, boundaries and empathy, and nurturing spirituality in recovery.
Carol will be interviewing Anna Osborn, LMFT who works with couples and individuals healing from trauma to their relationship including infidelity, betrayal and loss. Listen to the conversation that leads to healing and how does a couple develop a new relationship that promotes trust and honesty.
Carol the Coach interviews "Gaslighting Expert" Ross Rosenberg about this phenomena that frequently occurs in the relationship with the sex addict and his/her spouse.
Gaslighting is a complex and well-thought out brainwashing strategy utilized by highly manipulative narcissists. Gaslighters control victims by systematically manipulating them into identifying with and feeling no control over an implanted psychological problem. The resulting distress, insecurity and paranoia creates even lower self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, while compelling them to isolate even further and seek protection from the gaslighter. They are, therefore, trapped in a double bind from which it is difficult to escape. Find out more about this technique so that you can stop it if it occurs in your life!
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Anne Blythe who is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast and founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, a nonprofit, online coaching practice for women. All of the coaches at Betrayal Trauma Recovery are trained by The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS for short). After years of attempting to help her husband recover from his ography addiction and "anger issues", he was arrested for domestic violence in 2015. Anne shares her recovery adventure in real time on The Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast, as she and the APSATS coaches seek to educate women about how to safely and effectively navigate their husband’s sex addiction and related behaviors. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery professionals share their tips, skills and techniques to empower women on their betrayal trauma healing journey.
Carol the Coach interviews Jessica Levith who treats women,men and couples sturggling with problematic sexual behaviors. She often sees sexualized anger which is the fusion of anger and eroticism based on an arousal template laid down early in life. There has been little written about sexualized anger, using a non-forensic lens. But for those struggling with insecure attachments, the importance of exploring unhealthy pieces of eroticism is key to cultivating a healthier and exciting sexuality. Listen in as this team talks about how to treat this pervasive issue to promote recovery.Is Sexuali
Carol the Coach interviews Shannon Colleary who is a compassionate recovery coach and author who teaches women how to find real love by attending 12 step recovery meetings and using tools from her Love School to promote healing, self love and healthy interdependent relationships. If you are a partner of a sex addict and you want more from your relationship or you want to find healthy love ... this is the show for you!
Listen in as she talks about her 10 week program that attracts real love.
It can be confusing to ascertain if you have features of Love Addiction or Love Avoidance. This show highlights how love addiction and love avoidance is different from sexual addiction. Learn about how childhood traumas feed into this disorder
Life After Lust is unlike any recovery book available today. It guides the reader into intentional personal growth but also frames the pursuit of a meaningful life as a byproduct of succerssful recovery. Carol the Coach interviews Forest Benedict author of Life After Lust: Stories and Strategies for Sex and ography Addiction Recovery. He has a 52 week plan that helps navigate addicts into healthy recovery and healthy living! This show will help to change your life!
You can’t be a sex addict, you’re a woman.”
“Women don’t recover from sex addiction.”
“You’re not welcome at this 12-step fellowship meeting because you’re a woman.”
These were all things that were said to interviewee as she started to search for help for her sex addiction. Women need help and support in sex addiction recovery. She started Worth Recovery and the Worth Recovery podcast as a support for women in recovery. It started with the mission to reach women sex addicts who were recovering from their own addiction – but as her recovery has grown – She learned that she had a parent with a sex addiction and she needed to recover from that, she have a food addiction and she needed to recover from that, she had a dysfunctional family and needed to recover from that – so has the listenership. It is the mission of Worth Recovery to dispel shame and build hope in the lives of women recovering from addiction in their lives, however that addiction has touched them – whether it is their own or that of someone else. Worth Recovery offers support for these women through our podcast, blog, one day workshops, recovery coaching, and online courses all with the goal of supporting women in recovery.
One of the greatest challenges that couples in recovery face is navigating the journey out of the diseased world of sexual addiction and into the healthy and robust life of relational wellness.
The trauma of discovery is a gamechanger. The betrayed (partner) often suffers with PTSD primary to the discovery – with all of the accompanying distressing symptoms including a pervasive sense of unsafety and impending doom, fear, hypervigilance, a questioning of ones’ reality, depressed, anxious, suicidal, angry. The addict is anxious, angry, lost, avoidant, - the system is destabilized and chaotic.
Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Michele Saffier. LMFT, CSATwho is an expert in helping couples heal. She believes that couples don’t know how to be in one another’s’ presence, how to talk, how to contain anger and fear, how to behave in front of children, who to tell, what to tell, how not to tell; the bottom line is that there is no organic sense of how to cope with the level of distress it faces.
In this show, she talks about how she helps couples experience a deeper relational healing through the process of reconciliation.
Carol the Coach interviews Christina Bell who has made it her mission to work with couples whose lives have been ravaged by sexual addiction. She has worked with a lot of couples with sex addiction and has developed a roadmap to help them through the first year. Tonight's show will teach couples what they need to do to work through the hard work that goes into recovering from the collateral damage of sex addiction and learn how to be close again.
Shame is the most painful of all emotions. People will go to almost any length to avoid feeling it. The problem with addiction as a way to avoid shame is that once the addictive behavior ends, the shame comes back many fold. And it takes stronger and stronger doses of the addiction to move into good feelings again. Working with shame involves helping the person transform toxic shame that leads to the addiction into healthy shame. Carol the Coach interviews Bret Lyon who is an expert in helping sex addicts work through the stages of shame.In toxic shame the addict freezes, feels helpless and is unable to change behavior. In healthy shame a person can reassess, see oneselves as a flawed human being, living in a community of flawed human beings, who made a mistake and is open to the possibilty of change.
As a resource for partners, PCS offers a 6-day intensive outpatient program in Scottsdale AZ. They run their program 52 weeks/year. Partners of sexual addicts are a regular part of the program and an area of particular focus. Our work at PCS is heavily trauma focused and takes into account co-occurring psychological and medical disorders . The IOP at PCS was the first intensive outpatient program in the country, started by Ralph Earle 40+ years ago. Clients do 55 hours of intensive work in 5-1/2 days (Sunday thru Fri) with 35 hours of individual therapy, and 20 hours of group therapy and psychoeducation. Individual work includes EMDR, psychodrama, somatic experiencing, art and music therapy, equine therapy, brain mapping, neuro-biofeedback and other techniques. Marilyn Murray, the inventor of the Trauma Egg and Circles of Intimacy, is an integral part of our program. We also focus on brain health from an integrative medical perspective, seeking to facilitate on-going therapy work with nutrition, exercise, improved sleep habits, brain games and supplements. The intense nature of the program can help bring about substantial change for the partner with relationship trauma.
Overall, the program is intended for men and women recovering from the impact of addiction, codependence and compulsivity as well as trauma, abuse, PTSD, relationship dysfunction, mood disorders and other disorders. We work with individuals, couples and families who are stable enough to manage an outpatient program, and interested in getting a big jumpstart on the issues that drive their unhappiness and individual/family dysfunction. We work extensively with partners as well as addicts and work with them individually and as couples.
Partners of sex addicts experience a barrage of painful emotions and reactions after discovering their significant other's acting out behaviors. Typically, these symptoms are consistent with a trauma reaction or even post-traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes they are so severe that they interfere with a partner's ability to function in live and mau require treatment from a physician. Carol the Coach interviews Honor Ashbaugh MD who a primary care physician who is now a therapist treating sex addicts and partners. Dr. Ashbaugh has an extraordinary heart for helping couples navigate the debilitating symptoms that accompany sexual addiction and partner betrayal. Find out what you should know to ease the symptoms!
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Milton Magness and Marsha Means who will talking about their new book, Real Hope, True Freedom: Understanding and Coping With Sex Addiction. This book is filled with a conslidation of over 4,000 questions submitted to people who needed to understand the truth on multiple topics related to sexual addicion. This book helps readers understand the reality of sex addiction and to know that recovery is posssible!
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sonja J Rudie who is a certified EMDR Therapist . She is an expert at treating people who have experienced trauma in their childhoods and in the coupleship as a result of the "addiction discovery". Listen as she describes how EMDR can help you!
Anger is one of the more difficult emotions to experience productively. Many sex addicts deal with trauma, loss and anger in their family of origin and that follows them in their present day life. And although anger is a natural reaction to these experiences, children are not taught how to manage it so that it can motivate change in a positive way. Listen as Jon Taylor talks about the tools he has availble to help clients deal with anger.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Kristin Cary who is a CPSAS and is currently being trained by APSATS. She realizes that the church, therapists and family or friends can be well meaning but hurtful when it comes to partner trauma. She will talk about what churches can do to be safe places for women to talk about partner betrayal and she will talk about a program that she has developed in her church which has made a huge difference in her community.
Anger is natural, normal and necessary emotion but expressing it can be destructive and damaging to your self and others. Listen as Carol the Coach helps you to find other ways of using this helpful emotion to change and mobilize your life in a different way. Learn how to be friends with your anger.
Rob Weise just released a new book this week- specific to helping men regain intimate
relationship trust after betraying a loving female partner or wife. It is
called: Out of the Doghouse: A Step by Step Relationship Saving Guide for
Men Caught Cheating and can be found here both in ebook and hard copy here
The metaphor of having ‘harmed your home” and thus being “Sent to
‘the Doghouse” is used throughout the book to explain both the concept
of betrayal-trauma (in women) to help the cheater realize where their behavior
has put them (into the Doghouse) and what they need to do in their relationship
to get out - IE: showing integrity, showing up for your family, deference
to the pain they have caused, rigorous honesty, taking right actions,
respecting their spouse and all the rest.
Although this book is not specific to sex addicts, but more broadly - 'Doghouse employs and integrates of betrayal-trauma (in women) to help the cheater realize where their behavior has put them (into the Doghouse) and what they need to do in their relationship to get out - IE: showing integrity, showing up for your family, deference
to the pain they have caused, rigorous honesty, taking right actions,
respecting their spouse and all the rest.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Rob about what you can do if there are betrayal trauma in your home.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jonathan Taylor and Jackie Pack who have started a new podcast called Thanks for Sharing which shares personal stories on recovery from sexual addiction and partner trauma. Carol believes that the more resources you have .... the healthier you can be so listen up as these professionals talk about their own recovery and the resources available to you!
This is a repeat of a great show talking about multiplle addictions and sexual addiction...specifically workaholism.
Richard Blankenship who is a consultant for Relational Trauma at Capstone Center wieghs in with Carol the Coach on the importance of disclosures in helping clients heal from relational trauma and sex addiction. Get the highlights of what to look for in finding a sex addiction specialist or partner sensitve therapist when doing a thorough disclosure to minimize the collateral damage of sex addiction.
This is a replay of a 2012 show where Carol discusses how love avoidance is a common result of trauma in childhood
and how true recovery can change that maladaptive response to childhood wounds.
Carol the Coach met author Johnnie Callloway who wrote Dragons to Butterflies The Metamorphosis of a Man at a Hayhouse Conference. In his memoir, he shares his recovery from the guilt that came as a result of thinking that he had killed his mother at the age of 5 while growing up with an angry, alcoholic, sexuually confused father. As you might expect, this childhood trauma impacted his life. He describes his drug addiction and alscoholism and how it contributed to his mentall illnesses. This story is about how he used the spiritual principles of the twelve step program and A Course of Miracles to forgive, recover and to heal.
If you have had trauma in your past, this interview will surely inspire you to work on your own personal recovery to heal from your demons.
Tonight Carol will be talking about Trauma which plagues over 1/2 of the sex addicts
and their partners. Listen as Carol has some advice for how to heal from the trauma of your past!
Jonathan Taylor works with teens with compulsive/addictive sexual behaviors. This can include use, multiple partners and other compulsive sexual behaviors. We will explore some of the supportive strategies that teens respond to in dealing with the complicated sexual landscape including good information, education addressing already problematic behavior and keeping communication lines open.
Listen as Carol talks to Robert Miller who trained her on linking up the feelings with sexual addiction abstinence. If the typical sexual addiction therapy has not worked, this may be a new type of therapy to explore.
Divorce is a tough choice and Crystal Rae Morrissey coaches partners of sex addicts through the process of therapeutic seperation and divorce when the trauma becomes too great to stay. Women have been so traumatized by the discovery of their husband's indescretions and typically feel an array of feelings regarding how they can care for themselves and make hard decisions that will impact their life forever. Listen as Crystal helps you navigate through this tough process and learn the tips to taking your life to the next level.
Carol the Coach interviews Connie Spiegel who is a Recovery and Relationship Coach who has true life experience of loving an sex addict. She coaches women to identify their core values, recognize their intuition, develop their voice and create boundaries that will keep them safe while they navigate through their husband's addiction. Connie wants yoou to know that your husbands addiction is not your fault and that you can weather the storm and grow stronger as a result!
Is 12 Step Work tough for you because you struggle with spirtuality? Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Marie Krebs, a spiritual director who works with sex addicts and partners who struggle with their higher power. Learn how to increase your spiritual fitness program!
Carol the Coach interviews Maria Wesley-Stewart a partner who has made it her mission to educate women that they are not alone if the sex addict in their life does not choose sobriety or does not choose to treat them with dignity.
It is estimated that 11% of young men who chronically use can not have normal sexual relations with partners. Noah Church will enlighten us as to how SA effected his life and what you can do about it if has effected your life!
This is a repeat from my Live Your Best Life Series on blogtalk on how to handle conflict.
You can go to my YouTube Channel Carol the Coach for more info on this subject and go to sexhelpwithcarolthecoach on You Tube to get info on Sex Addiction and Partner Trauma.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews a listener as he shares his struggles with Sexual Addiction.
Charles Robinson, National Director of Christian Programing and Outreach worksat Elements Behavioral Health which provides some of the finest treatment in the country. He has written Loving the Addict in Your Pew which discusses building a church-based recovery ministry . He is going to be talking to Carol about how prevelant sexual addiction is in the church and what resources are availble to assist parishioners in their church and in their communities. Carol and Chuck will be discussing 12 step programs available through the church and their effectiveness for sexual addiction. This is the first
Carol the Coach will be interviewing author Thomas Gagliano who believes that initially helps people feel in control of their pleasure without an strings attached. No emotions, no compormise, no problem until over-consumption occurs and relationships start to suffer. Listen to this facinating interview as Tom teaches concepts from his best seller The Problem Was Me and his current book Don't Put Your Crap in Yor Kid's Diaper.
As if parenting wasn't tough enough, now you have to know how to handle the digital age and your adolescent. Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. Jennifer Weeks who recently released her new book - The New Age of Sex Education:How to Talk to Your Teen about Cybersex and ography in the Digital Age. This is a tough issue to navigate and Dr. Jennifer makes it easy to understand and to be proactive in a world that moves way too fast!
Listen tonight as Carol the Coach interviews Michael Morton who is the Director of the Keystone Center in PA. He will be discussing the competencies of the family therapist who works with families who suffer from Sexual Addiction. He will help you to determine what are the benefits of inpatient treatment and when is the best time to incorporate family therapy when treating a client with Sexual Addiction. He will also share how families can use family therapy to rebuild the trust after Sexual Addiction has occured.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Danielle who is a recovering female sex addict who knows that sober dating is a must for newly recovered sex addicts. Carol will talk about the hardships and blessings of developing emotional intimacy before moving into sexual intimacy.
If you need some guidelines for dating ... this show is for you!
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Vicki Tidwell Palmer who recently released Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5 Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts. She is going to be talking about how partners can keep themselves safe and work towards the restoration and rehabilitation of the relationship when Sex Addiction has occured. This will be a fascinating show about empowerment!
Listen as Tim Stein describes how little t and big T trauma fused with sexual acting out or experiences can result in Sex Addiction.
Does your recovery program need more focus? Are you looking for a simple way to build insights or master skills that are foundational in maintaining a healthy recovery program? Listen as Carol the coach interviews the creator of "Your Daily Intensive Decks" which helps Addicts to work through their issues and develop a feeling of curiosity and compassion which can help to mitigate shame.
Addicts get triggered when they don't have the tools to manage the cravings. Darrin Ford, M.A. LMFT CSAT, is the Executive Director and co-founder of Sano Center for Recovery and he helps addicts to manage the cravings through mindfulness and awareness. Listen as he talks about what defines a sex addict and how addicts can manage the impulses that plague them.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Bill Herring who specializes in developing sexual honesty. He describes the effects of chronic sexual dishonesty in a relationship and how sex addicts can turn this process around to create the trust they want to build in ther relationship.
Pat Love is a renowned author and speaker on "Couples in Recovery." Listen tonight as she talks about what kinds of support couples need to stay healthy as they work in recovery. It is not easy to navigate through being a couple but the work is harder when you have been through trauma. The good news is that when each person works in solid recovery, the coupleship is bound to get stronger!
Carol the Coach is interviewing Gary Wilson who explains the neuroscience behind addicion. He helps explain how can be associated with reduced erectile dysfunction and less overall sexual satisfaction. His website, Your Brain on is one of the most visited sites on the internet today!
Last week a listener wanted to know what a healthy sexual plan was and how he could create an action plan to prove to his wife that he was working towards normal sexual health for the coupleship. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Rhiannon C. Beauregard who is a a CSAT and has a 100% online sex therapy practice that specializes in integrating healthy sexuality into recovery from sex addiction. Listen in as she talks about how she can provide these services in the comfort of your own home.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jen Cole who advises Partners of Sex Addicts how to use a polygraph test to build trust and security in the relationship.
Carol will be interviewing Roget Lockard who was recommended by s listener for his knowledge about addiction. Roget will be teaching us about the inner workings of addiction!
Listen tonight as Carol the coach helps you to understand the difference between Love and Sex Addiction.
She will interview Danielle who is working on recovery and has some wisdom to share with others who struggle with Love Addiction.
Whether you are stalling in your recovery or you have just come clean and you want to prove to yourself and others that you are serious about getting into recovery, doing an intensive can catapult you into success. Listen as Rob, who went through a 5 day intensive, did the research and picked an Intensive through The Meadows Gentle Path Program talks about the positive experience he had. He believes that it created a strong foundation in his recovery and it has kept him from slipping like so many beginners do in the early stages of recovery.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jace Downey who has vowed to break the silence around the issue of sexual addiction. On the brink of suicide, she turned her life around and decided to break the shame and guilt that can be a secondary result of this addiction. Every week 100's of people tune in on YouTube and social media to ask her questions about her experience about this addiction. Listen in as you too feel the strength that she manifests. How could your life be differen if you decided to give back and turn your shame into strength?
Shame is an automatic response to sexual addiction. Learn more about how shame and trauma are interelated in this informative show.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Hedelius who has over 20 years of experience at treating Sexual Addiction. He will explaining what defines Sexual Addiction and what to do if you have this compulsive disorder. He has logged over 20,000 hours of individual therapy sessions with addicts. He is the director of Paradise Creek Recovery Center, a comprehensive treatment facility for sexual addiction. Listen as he explains this complex disorder in simple terms.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing the founder of CONversation who helps families to deal with their loved ones prison sentence and re-entry into the community.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jeffrey Zacharias who an expert in treating people who have sex/trauma/addiction in the LGBT community. He is the Clinical Director of New Hope Recovery Center and believes that treatment for the community requires a specialized approach.
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Ken Adams a specialist on enmeshment between Sex Addicts and their Mothers.
It is not uncommon for men to be surrogate partners and then act out sexually to reenact the trauma. Listen as Carol finds out more about this family dynamic. The second part of the show we will be learning about the couples intensives that Dr. Adams is offering and organizing at The Meadow and how this can help to rebuild relationships.
There is hope out there... find out what Dr.Adams has devised to help addicts and partners find intimacy again.
Values and courage are the requirements to find serenity and sobriety. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Sara Schulting-Kranz who takes addicts to that place where they find their power to heal themselves and find sobriety.
Listen as she discusses how the "hike" helps to empower them to heal the wounds and take their live to the next level!
Resuming normal sex requires "a new normal" because there are so many difficult associations with the sexual act that has been compormised by sexual addiction.
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Dr Janet Hall is one of Australia’s foremost experts in the field of sex therapy and also hypnotherapy. Dr Jan will explain how she uses Hypnosis to help overcome the obstacles to seeking sex therapy and create positive changes in clients.
Sex therapists face several major obstacles in delivering their craft including; Resistance to attendance (due to perceived stigma), Discussion difficulty (Due to embarrassment and the social taboo on sex), Scepticism and doubt, Resistance to in vivo practice and homework and Reluctance to admit to failure and incompetence. We will be talking to her about how to overcome the anger, sadness and betrayal that are the natural byproducts to the aftermath of sexual addiction.
Hypnosis can be critically important as a tool for overcoming these obstacles. Hypnosis can greatly facilitate permission; reprogram past failure and program for future.
Triggers can be the worst thing imaginable when dealing with a sex addict. Partners of SA say that triggers are the most distressing problems for partners because they can ocur any time and put the partner right into panic and anxiety that feels uncontrollable. Tonight Carol interviews an expert who helps us understand how tirggers can assist a client in knowing what they need to feel safe again. Find out what you can do to control them and feel healthy and in control!
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Beth Songer a mindfunesl expert who has found much success teaching meditation and mindfullness using the 12 Steps. She asserts that it can increase the recovery process. Carol will find out how mindfulness meditation reduces stress and helps Addicts and Partners to focus on their recovery.
Listen to Carol the Coach as she interviews an expert who will speaking about the topic of addressing sexual topics with children who have experienced sexual trauma and who are drawn to ography. She will also talk about children who have been "accidently" exposed to inappropriate images via media. Listen as she shares that attunement, empathy and understanding will extinguish the behavior over punishing and implemementing consequences