The Podcast of Billionaires: Recent Episodes
Josh Dunn
Welcome aboard the first ever podcast written by billionaires for billionaires. We aren't the one percent, we aren't even the one-tenth of one percent. We are much less percenty than that. Anyway, Daniel, Sam and I got together this week to analyze a bad decision, eat some food, and give unsolicited advice (the best kind) all in the space of thirty minutes. So sit back and enjoy the show.
It’s become a joke really. The doorbell rings. You open the door to see an overly enthusiastic sausage pizza delivery guy. In real life you should shut the door, lock it and call for help. But here on the internet, you should settle in, pop some corn and get ready for an extra helping of this week’s sausage based bad decisions. Enjoy the show!
Have you ever had someone disappoint you so much that you had to beat them with a burrito, fake a heart attack and get arrested? That might be a bad decision. We talk about the she hulk from West Virginia, the mystery of the haunted can warehouse and more on this week's episode. Enjoy the show!
There are times when you have to take a stand. Sometimes it’s when the cops are coming after you. Other times it’s when the local villagers are trying to break off your junk. You especially have to take a stand if you are a statue. Find out about these brave monuments, some dumb criminals and how to “Dial-A-Swede” on this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!
Do you have a love of fast food and reptiles? Do you enjoy reading on the subway? Have you ever called the cops because your mom was mad at you for smoking all of her meth? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this show is for you. Sit back, relax, unplug from the internet and read a book. Only after you listen to this episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy the show!
Do you remember that time when you thought your best pal had your back? It was you and your bestie vs. the world, and you knew you’d come out on top. On this week’s episode we explore the vast landscape of what can go wrong when a foolish fool is betrayed by his friend. Strap it on tight and join us for this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!
This week's bad decisions fruit pretty hard. Apple store attacks, banana attacks and a breakfast gone down in flames. Feel better about yourself by listening to the show. Buckle up and come on in!
Are people and possums coming out of your fridge and microwave? Have you called the cops for help? Do you have pictures of camouflaged people that only you can see? If you've answered yes to any of these questions you are gonna love this week's episode.
Enjoy the show.
Only one person can truly be this week’s bad decision of the week. Is it going to be the off-duty police officer who bit a guy in the testicle, or the drunk mother who fell out of her moving vehicle while trying to buckle her 3 year old’s seat belt. Only you can tell us for sure! Enjoy the show.
The police are after you for stealing dollar store shampoo. What do you do?
A) Attack them with nun-chucks.
B) Attack them with a liter of urine.
C) Attack them with a samurai sword.
D) All of the above...
Hint: It's always D. Enjoy the show.
This guy shows up on your shoulder as you are driving your son to school. What do you do?
- Burn the car down
- Open the door, tuck and roll, GTFO
- Make Friends with the Spider
- Listen to the Podcast of Billionaires to distract you
Hint: It’s not all of the above this time…
Enjoy the show!
You met your special someone over the internet, and now you are finally together for a romantic encounter. Your partner requested that you wear a blindfold, but during the intimate act the blindfold slips off. You find out that your partner is actually…
- A guy who steals Red Bull at knifepoint
- A woman who dressed up as a male burn vicitm
- A crazy person who likes to swim naked in the ocean for 16 hours.
- All of the above.
Enjoy the show!
You are crossing the Canadian border to get back in the us. You are getting detained by security. Why?
- Bag of Weapons (Including Crossbow)
- Foam Rubber Nun-chucks
- Pooping and Swearing at Cops!
- Dangerous Selfie
- All of the Above
Find out more on this week’s episode. Enjoy the show!
Love can make you crazy. It can make you repeatedly get arrested for possession of meth as you blow through traffic with your disgraced beauty pageant winning girlfriend. It can make you take out a hit on your daughter’s homeless boyfriend, and it can make you brandish a crossbow at cops in the vague hope that your parents will get back together. Love is all you need, but if you don’t have love, at least you have the Podcast of Billionaires. We got your back. Enjoy the show!
You are being chased by the police. They finally catch you. What’s your excuse?
- My plan didn’t work out.
- Smoking crack makes me thirsty.
- I’m Tarzan!
- All of the above.
Find out the answer on this week’s Podcast of Billionaires, enjoy the show!
Milk, milk, lemonade… This week show has a milk flavored theme that will have you tossing your cookies. Quick Quiz: According to Mr. T, you should do which of the following?
- Drink Milk
- Stay in School
- Don’t Do Drugs
- All of the above
Enjoy the show!
We are back. So are you. A lot happened in the months we've been off the air. Too much if you ask me. Let's dive right in to the world of bad decisions with the following:
A) A little something extra for the lawn care employees
B) Something to make your hot pants even hotter
C) 500 kilometers that you'll never forget
Also, a bonus story about Freddie's nuts.
Enjoy the show!
It's been a while since one of these quizzes so here we go:
How do you know it's time to 'let it go'?
A) You nearly get crushed by a trash truck while diving in a dumpster looking for your wallet.
B) You just filled your pants with stolen frozen fish.
C) You get pulled over by the cops for riding a shopping cart down a steep crowded hill.
Hint: It's all three. Enjoy all these and more in this week's episode!
Have you ever been so mad at someone that you put a lizard in your mouth and slapped them with it?
In this episode of the podcast we learn about what it takes to drive you to the edge. Enjoy the show!
We've got a new year and a whole lot of bad decisions. Join us as we explore the future together with the following nopes.
1) Stuff a chainsaw in your shorts.
2) Steal a car whilst yelling "Happy New Year"
3) Dumping a quarter ton of porn in the local park.
How about a solid "nope" to all three. Enjoy the show!
Your family is driving you nuts this holiday season. What are you going to do about it?
- Strip down and climb into the ceiling in an airport bathroom
- Destroy an apartment building with a crane
- Scare your local Timmy’s employee with a ‘thrown’ snake.
Hint. It’s all of the above. Enjoy the show!
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we learn what it is to love again. We also learn that you shouldn't pee on an electric space heater, drive your wingless plane to the bar or poke your live in girlfriend in the eye because she gave you waffles instead of pancakes.
Let's try and stay classy. Enjoy the show!
Oh no. One of your friends is trying to tell you that someone is dead. What do you do?
A) Listen to them and show empathy?
B) Hog tie them naked by the side of the road?
C) Beat them with a bucket?
D) Tell them you love their Alps and Cheese!
Hint: In this week's episode it's all of the above. Enjoy the show!
Let's walk a mile in someone else's shoes: You are high on "spice". Someone calls 911. The ambulance shows up. What do you do next? A) Steal the ambulance and drive it to the ocean? B) Put on your 'I <3 Crystal Meth' T-shirt, and get arrested. C) Take off your pants and do the public restroom limbo. Hint: It's all of the above. Enjoy the show.
You are one attractive kitchen worker at Chili's. What should you do to celebrate?
A) Take off your shirt and start taking pictures.
B) Make a calender of you in women's Halloween costumes.
C) Dress up like a Teletubby and steal some Chinese food.
Hint: It's all of the above.
Enjoy the show!
Last weekend was pretty dull. This weekend is going to be much better. What should you do? (Select all that apply)
- Sharpen your spear
- Criticize a drunk stripper
- Toss a chainsaw at a police cruiser
- Give her the old San Giorgio
If you selected all of the above, you are a true billionaire! Enjoy the show.
What happens when you get some road rage in Russia?
A) A guy dressed like a pokemon trainer won't get off your lawn.
B) Four mascots pile out of a van and beat the stuffing out of you.
C) Some crazy lady pushes you down and bites you.
Hint: It's probably all of the above.
All of this, the toddler fight club and more on this week's episode.
Enjoy!
It happened again, you spent the evening engaged in bad decision and budding regrets. When you wake up the next morning, which of your activities will make you cringe the most?
A) Cooking meth with your friends then hallucinating about a home invasion.
B) Camping in the middle of the street under an American flag.
C) Mummifying Barbie.
D) Listening to this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.
Enjoy the show!
It’s time to hit the town again. You've got some big plans. What should you do next?
A) Dress up like a penguin and steal some beer.
B) Ask a dude for a cigarette, then stab him with a beer bottle.
C) Visit the toilet museum.
D) All of the above!
Hint: Enjoy the show!
In this episode we review several bad decisions. Each of them have which of the following?
A) No Pants
B) No Pants
C) No Pants
Hint: It's C. Enjoy the show!
You just can't get anything right today. You've tried to burgle a restaurant and all you've gotten to show for it is the tip jar and a load of cops coming your way. What should you do next?
A) Take your boyfriend for a naked walk on a leash in West Virginia.
B) Make some gummy bear bratwurst.
C) Try some relaxing, traditional Chinese 'fire therapy'.
Don't worry, if you can't decide just listen to this weeks episode. We cover all of the above. Enjoy!
You are having trouble getting along with your spouse. What should you do?
A) Call the cops and then passive-aggressively carve a watermelon.
B) Put a plastic bag on your head and rob a gas station.
C) Pay a six foot three inch tall 280 pound woman to sit on you.
Hint: it's all of the above.
What do you do if you aren't satisfied with your love life?
A) Get drunk and join the TSA
B) Get busy with a lead pipe
C) Make a sad spreadsheet and email it to the entire internet
D) All of the above
Hint: This week, it's all of the above. Special co-host Al Fein. Enjoy the show!
It's hard to hide in the crowd. The NSA, Google, and Facebook all know who we are. Costumes rarely work and face masks make you stand out. What are you going to do?
A) Gain 400 pounds and drive around without a seat belt?
B) Dye your hair orange and cover your face with sharpie?
C) Listen to the Podcast of Billionaires... (Nobody does that...)
Enjoy the show!
This week's Podcast of Billionaires answers some powerful questions:
How far are you willing to go for a salad?
Why did your parents name you Crystal Metheny?
The ice cream man didn't give you sprinkles; should you call 911?
Find out the answers to all this and more. Enjoy!
Which is worse: dressing up like a gorilla and getting shot by a zookeeper, or getting your rear end handed to you in a fight with an 82 year old woman with a golf club. Find out on this week’s episode. Enjoy!
The fast food restaurant doesn't have a fresh cinnamon bun to sell you. What should you do?
A) Buy a hot apple pie instead.
B) Show some self control and skip the treat.
C) Scream at employees, threaten to shoot up the place, and get arrested.
(Hint: It's always C...)
Enjoy this "Tasty Treat" Edition of the Podcast of Billionaires.
We've been doing this show for two whole years now, and we've learned many things. Naked people in public make bad decisions. It's possible for an accountant to out wrestle a crocodile. When you are hiding (nude) in the bushes at a Burger King parking lot, the excuses you give the police probably aren't going to be very good. All this and more on this week's show... Enjoy!
So you finally graduated from the Connecticut Academy of Vehicular Theft. What do you do?
A) Move to Florida
B) Steal a Honda Civic
C) Crash into an Alligator
D) Confess your crimes to police...
(Hint: It's all of the above.)
Find out more about this guy, the pitchfork wielding Waffle House burglar and more on this week's episode. Enjoy!
Mom. This episode is for you. We learn about a mother who attacks a random guy with a microwaved corndog. We also review a bunch of gifts for moms. Including the taco necklace, a chocolate Jesus, some "mop slippers" and more. (For those listeners without moms, we also included a story about a crack smoking machete fighter.)
Enjoy the show!
You've been drinking Four Loko™. You break into the neighbor's house. He wakes up and catches you. What should you do?
A) Apologize and let yourself out the front door.
B) Threaten to beat the dude up?
C) Strip naked and get stuck under a garage door!
Hint: It's always C...
Enjoy!
You are being arrested in the Wal-Mart parking lot (again). The cops think you shoplifted some fried chicken. What do you do?
A) Punch a cop in the junk
B) Eat the police report
C) Use a toddler as a human shield
D) All of the above...
Hint: It's always D.
Also we have a profile of the world's happiest fisherman. Enjoy the show!
This week, we give up editing and do it live. What would happen if we didn't have a host, and instead had three eager co-hosts? We'd still have all the same bad decisions. Buckle up, it's time for a show.
In this week's show we talk about a woman who was so horny she called 911 for sex. I know you are wondering what the mugshot looks like... Hop on over to this weeks show to find out. (We also talk about spiderface-man and the Scottish sewers.) Hang on tight it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Good news everyone! We've figured out how to make even the most miserable place in to a happy winter wonderland. Just strip down to your birthday suit, evade cops for a minute or two, get tazed in the face and fall down. It worked for this guy in Pittsburgh and it could work for you.
Find out more in this week's episode! Enjoy.
You're in trouble and you are going to be spending the weekend in lockup. Who would you rather have as a cellmate?
A) The guy mailing cat poop to businesses that wouldn't hire him?
B) The guy who tried to sell his girlfriend on ebay?
C) The pimp who is suing Nike for not putting a warning label on their sneakers that says, "not suitable for pimping."
We talk about all of these special valentines and more in this week's episode. (Special listener call-ins also.) Enjoy the show!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Quiz time!
Who is the baddest mother?
A) The self proclaimed "Baddest Mother". A 74 year old man drinking 4 pints of vodka in Vero Beach, and tussling with the law.
B) A drunk man passed out in a burning truck parked in a Taco Bell drive-thru, who hands the cops a taco when asked for his identification.
C) Will Greenlee, a Florida native and Master of Journalism who writes the Off the Beat blog.
Stay tuned for the answer in this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
So a Canadian mayor, a stabby racist, a Walpole man, an Argentinian nudist/carjacker, and 90 cows walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
No, it's not a joke. It's this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires
It's true, you like movies. You like them so much that you start a blog dedicated to all things cinematic. The next thing you know you are watching a terrible movie about your Uncle Kent and his junk. But the fans need you. You can't stop now, you have to take the good with the bad.
You have to relax, do you..
A) Accidentally burn down your house by starting a toilet paper fire?
B) Shoot yourself in the crotch in a road rage incident?
C) Post your own wanted poster on your facebook, "It's me!" (LIKE)
D) Come on the Podcast of Billionaires and talk about all of the above.
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Quiz time!
What's the worst thing about visiting the doctor?
A) The wait is too long...
B) The waiting room is full of people with the flu and no concept of personal space.
C) Your doctor's office is actually a Starbucks, and he wants to give you a thorough exam.
Find out about this and more on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Sometimes you need protection: Protection from your older spouse, protection from the aliens that are always trying to abduct you, and most importantly protection from the voices in your head. This week in the podcast we talk about a "crotch pistol", frosty the escaped convict, and some unrepentant cake-makers. It's time to protect yourself. Better keester a weapon and go in hot! Enjoy.
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Quiz time!
The cops are coming to arrest you. You only have a moment before they are on your porch. What do you do?
A) Kiss your girlfriend goodbye, put on a clean shirt and answer the door.
B) Fill the dog bowl with food and call your lawyer.
C) Strip naked and climb up on the roof.
(The answer is always C.) Listen to the play by play, learn where that happened and more on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
I hope you are enjoying your holidays and some well deserved rest and relaxation, time with family and friends, and good food. Let's do a quick end of the year quiz:
A man in Salem, Oregon was tasered multiple times and finally subdued by 15 police officers from three different counties. Was he...
A) Trying to rob a convenience store while armed?
B) Engaged in a domestic dispute with both his wife and his girlfriend?
C) Pleasuring himself furiously at a road-side bar and grill?
Find out more on this week's special holiday edition of the Podcast of Billionaires. ENJOY!
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Pop quiz - You've just applied for a new job at a retail store. What do you do next?
A) Send a thank you note to the manager.
B) Call your references and give them a heads up.
C) Shoplift from the store on your way out, get called back for a second interview, and get arrested by the cops when you actually show up...
I'm not going to apologize for this week's episode. Bad decisions were made, and there was a lot of cussing. However we did get to learn about a brilliant man with an incendiary plan to extract revenge for the bug bites. We also learn about the wimpiest police officer in all of Italy. Work is overrated, and so is the burglar who got stuck in a window trying to ply his trade, we talk about all these things and more on this week's show!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
That kid is eating the crayons again. What do you do?
A) give him a napkin...
B) tell him to stop...
C) dip them in hot sauce...
(Hint: You are a teacher and the kid has autism.)
This isn't the only bad decision that happened over the last two weeks, it's merely the first of many we discuss in this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.
Enjoy!
Your significant other comes home drunk at one-thirty in the morning and vomits on your bed. Do you?
a) Dress up like Batman and rob the neighbor's house?
b) Bake him a pizza?
c) feed him to a moose-eating shark
Find out which answer is correct on this week's episode!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Stealth Operations: They can’t hurt you if they can’t see you.
Plan A) Meet up with a strange man you met online and get car & pants jacked.
Plan B) Steal your neighbor’s pool floatie and hump it. (Seven Times…)
Plan C) Get arrested.
Wouldn’t you rather listen to the Podcast of Billionaires instead?
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Everyone has a neighbor or two, and for the most part they aren't that bad. In this weeks show however, we learn about a neighbor or two who are just the worst. Including but not limited to the:
A) Strip club owner who erects a $7000 statue of a hand flipping off his neighbors
B) A guy who calls 911 twice on his neighbors for not drinking with him
C) A woman who lights her clothes on fire (endangering the neighbor's baby) because she can't find her cell phone
D) All of the above...
Enjoy the show!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
You are protesting the Russian police state. Do you...
A) Write a letter to President Putin.
B) Call your local police station and ask them to ease up a bit.
C) Nail your testes to the cobblestones in Red Square.
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires, we go full out and learn about the world's least effective protest. We also watch from the sidelines as Batman Suparman is sentenced to 2 years in jail. We learn about the horizontal shower and the snake massage. Syd D joins us for an amazing spin through the wobbly lines painted on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Who is more badass?
A) an 80 year old Russian man
B) an entire village of Canadians?
This week on the show we release the bears and let nature take its course. We also have some bad decisions where people do some really dumb things. One guy loses his mind, and the other guy loses his manhood. It's pretty rough. We have a very special listener call in and much much more. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
The cops show up as you and your pet parrot are taking your regular shirtless run through the neighborhood. It's almost inevitable that you'll be smiling for a mugshot before the night is through. Do you have a spare 100,000 dollars laying around? Why not try and get some plastic surgery to look like Bieber. If that doesn't work for you, why not kick back and read some great literature in a city park topless. All roads lead to bird attack madness this week in the Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
www.podcastofbillionaires.com
So the doctors tell you that the pain in your leg can't be cured. They say the only option available is amputation. They also tell you that you don't have enough money for the surgery. Are you doing to take that news sitting down? Not if you are anything like one of the contenders for the Bad Decision of the Week. In addition to do-it-yourself amputations, we learn about an unprovoked Chipotle attack and the worst used car deal ever. Sit back, relax and enjoy this week's Podcast of Billionaires. We know you'll have a good time and that old 'tick in the nose' feeling. Cheers!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we find out what it takes to stop a naked woman from attacking a slushie machine. Hint: You can’t just pepper spray her. Also, have you ever wondered what it takes to be a dumpster Emperor? You need to be elected in the past by people from the future, just like our bad decision of the week contender did. Stay tuned until the very end of the episode for some double rainbows and some good old fashioned grand theft: helping the poor. Relax as you take off your clothes, pour yourself a slushie and enjoy this week’s Podcast of Billionaires.
We were born naked, and if we do it right we’ll die naked. Some of my best decisions as well as some of my worst ones were made naked. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we’ll review some bad decisions made whilst naked. We also talk about a panty bandit and a straight talking eye doctor. There’s more, but you’ll have to make it to the end for the payoff and some personal ‘naked time’ stories. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Paying your bills is hard. Sometimes you run out of money. You might have to improvise. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we explore the world of alternative currencies, female ninjas, and sexual encounters at Home Depot. When you are done paying for your beer in quatloos, why not try and relax, sit back and enjoy the show!
WARNING: The world's cutest animal has been stolen, and we ask you where it happened. In addition to troubling news from Charlie the pony, we learn about a former vet (animal doc not combat) who thinks putting a "cone of shame" on school kids is an appropriate teaching technique. We also learn about what might happen if the three bears called the cops on Goldilocks. We investigate the reports of middle aged Japanese men being available to rent, and in totally unrelated news we discuss the troubling trend of selling positive pregnancy tests. Is nothing sacred!? Find out on this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of billionaires we refuse to cause a fuss. Instead we ask some burning questions like: Is it ok to breastfeed your baby while you drive a scooter? Why can’t you just walk 850 miles home instead of calling your mom? Is it true that better fathers have smaller testicles? Is pigeon overpopulation a problem that you have to take into your ‘own hands’? We get down and dirty, but in a polite way in this week’s Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy the show.
“The toe! The toe! Oh the humanity, someone ate the toe.” Thus began my descent into madness as I was preparing this week’s Podcast of Billionaires. A mummified toe gets eaten (by a human), a teenager gets shot for not going to school. Scandal rocks the world of Topless Protesting®, and a crafty thief steals half a million local currency units armed only with a tiny drill bit. Bad decisions abound on this week’s Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
It's a classic love story: Woman meets man, they fall in love and move in together. Man sweats on woman's couch and she beats the tar out of him. It's a classic coming of age story: Man travels to Oregon, isn't allowed to pump his own gas, tries to shoot the gas station attendant. This week on the podcast we are both gassy and sweaty, but that doesn't keep us from remembering falling heroes. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of billionaires we race from behind to become number one. Not only do we dislocate our jaw trying to eat a burger, and then try to stab a guy for stealing canned shrimp, but we urinate over everything. In this pee themed episode of the podcast, we learn about a man that pees on a yard, a woman that pees on a cop, a man that pees on another undercover cop, and a cop that pees on a bunch of cops. Everyone is a winner. Get a light beer, some toilet paper, sit back, relax and enjoy the Podcast of Billionaires
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
We like animals. We especially like the exotic ones. (Even if they are in disguise.) This week on the show we talk about all things exotic. Like a hipster on an enormous big wheel and a dog dressed up as a lion. We talk about the best parking cop in the world and we raise a glass of vodka to the world's smartest Russian. It's about time someone beat the credit card companies. Unless you are swimming in a pond to escape the cops, why don't you sit back, relax and enjoy this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
What type of story are you more likely to hear on the Podcast of Billionaires: A) a cop punching a guy in the nuts, or B) a cop asking a woman to punch him in the nuts? Sadly to say the answer is B. We take some time to examine the kinky lives of Florida police officers, then take a break to drink 100,000 dollars worth of antique whiskey. Now that you've been crotch punched and gotten some whiskey how about you steal an entire road. (We talk about that happening also on this week's Where did that happen.) What a way to start your day.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires Josh tells a story about stairs, alcohol, girlfriends, and manly men. We also talk about what you do when someone pukes all over your stuff, or gets naked on a flight, or cooks you up a batch of grasshoppers. The bad decisions are flying on this episode. Daniel is back and he wants to talk about a gorilla on bath salts. You can have all this and more on this giggity episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of billionaires we learn about some folks who should have said "Sorry Bro", but instead they double down on their bad decisions. From the gun toting granny who takes pot shots at people driving by to the bank exec who had his thugs burglarize (foreclose) the wrong house, we learn about the classic non-apology. Whether you have been drinking non-alcoholic whiskey or making crafts out of cat hair, this episode is for you!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Crash a party? That's a beating. Let's talk about bad decisions and crimes of passion. We talk about a drunk driver who crashes the wrong party, a naked man trying to break windows with a sex toy, and a fat man breaking into jail. (That's right. He was breaking into jail.) We learn about people who are passionate about computers, passionate about snail facials, and passionate about luring single women to Alaska. Learn about these crimes and much more on this week's Podcast of Billionaires!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Farts are bad. They might be funny, but they can turn friends into enemies. At full volume, they can result in the cops being called and folks getting stabbed. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we explore the serious consequences of flatulence and bad decisions in our special investigative report: FIRE and BRIMSTONE. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of billionaires we learn about what happens when you lose your focus. You have a job to do. Your mom is counting on you to fill her Chrysler’s gas tank, but as you pump the petulant petrol in, your mind (and your finger) start to wander. All of a sudden: Firemen and reporters... You have to deliver the mail (every day), and that’s dangerous. In addition to dogs and their piles you have to watch out for the heat, the traffic, the snow and your own loss of focus. Suddenly an ill trimmed bush becomes a hazard with which you can no longer contend! Learn about these bad decisions and the loss of focus that inspired them on this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Sit back, relax, float some cubes and enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires Daniel experiences a severe internet crisis and completes the show using the power of the cell phone. The connection is bad but the jokes are great! What do all great criminal minds have in common? They don’t appear on the Podcast of Billionaires. This week we learn about a man who ties a lawn mower to a bike and makes a getaway. Spoiler Alert: The cops caught him. We also learn about a guy (who uses a walker) who car-jacks a woman and gets caught (because he took too long to get the walker in the newly stolen car). We also learn about the KKK and an X-Ray. Criminal minds everywhere. Sit back, mix yourself a drink, and enjoy the show!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
I'm not a big fan of threats. You are either going to do something or you're not. Standing around and threatening is just a waste of time. You know that, I know that, and now our bad decision of the week knows that too. We are spending some quality time examining deviant behavior: from the Japanese man who crawls in the sewer to get some upskirt time to the neighbor banging on the wall all night long. We also learn about a real bad mother (the good kind) from Texas who jacks up a would be car-jacker. Where did a drunk guy get arrested for making his seven year old son drive him home at 3 AM? Find out where that happened and more on this week's deviant behavior edition of the Podcast of Billionaires!
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This week in the Podcast of billionaires we learn about whether it's better to be loud or be right. (Hint: be loud.) We learn about alcohol and how it makes everything weirder-er. Have you ever been so drunk you shot at a noisy frog? Have you ever been so drunk you got into a mobility scooter and threatened to run people over? And on and on and on... A town in who knows where sends poo robots after bad people who don't pick up their dog's poo. This is it. Let's make it happen on this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
What does it mean to jump the shark? We're not sure here at the Podcast of Billionaires, but if you have a good thing going, keep on doing it. We heed that advice by analyzing an LA SWAT team who gets in a Mexican Standoff with a statue, and an Old Man who never gives up and never surrenders. Why jump the shark, when you can just throw your teeth at it instead. Learn about a man who is actually a woman. (Don't worry guys, it's really rare.) Educate yourself about doughnut shaped concrete. Stay away from lame excuses all while jumping apex predators on this week's Podcast of Billionaires. ENJOY!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
There is the right way to use a product, and there are an infinite number of wrong ways. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we go to infinity and beyond to learn about all the wrong ways to use your junk. You have a boat? Let's ram it into a car. You have some Vaseline? Let's make a helmet. You have a son that stole your pop tarts? Let's call the cops. You have two kids, let's have them beat each other up over a rice dispute. (There are worse parents out there.) We learn about all these off label uses and more this week, so belly up to your internet listening station, crack open a room temperature bottle of hooch and enjoy this week's Podcast of Billionaires!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
You're a funny guy! You laugh and joke with your friends. You try new and exciting things, but sometimes you go too far. Well, sometimes we go to far too. This week on the Podcast of Billionaires, we celebrate the idea of going too far. Learn about the guy who got drunk and stuck in a McDonald's high chair. Shiver in horror when you learn about the inconsiderate group sex partner who gets greedy and then gets stabbed. Everything old is new again: the plastic surgery edition. Who buys this? Find out all this and more on this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaries.com
This week we explore a magical place with strange customs and unusual bad decisions from the comfort and safety of our own homes. Well, except for Jason. We sent him to Australia! Learn about the stupidest criminal on the continent and the stupid hot air balloon commissioned by a stupid sounding capital city. (No offence mate...) Learn some Australian slang, be amazed at the purchasable scrotums, and other stuff too. Join us this week as the Podcast of Billionaires goes Down Under!
Who's that guy in your house, naked from the waist down, playing with your remote control helicopter, and why is your grandma microwaving the toilet paper again? We tackle these tough questions along with Tom Petty harassment, postponed picnic explosions, and much more in this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Why stress out surrounded by strangers when you can relax among some familiar faces. Pop open some bourbon, kick up your heels and prepare to feel a little better about your self. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
The art for this week's show is going to be a picture of a sad clown in a cop car because the other pictures were just too gruesome to feature. In this episode of the Podcast of Billionaires, we learn about the "Two Cheek Sneak" and the way he crams pills up his bum, and we talk about a cop who will do anything to make sure you wear your seat belt (including drive his cruiser up a pole). We also talk about a guy with enormous balls and a man who risks it all for a two day supply of bourbon. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse you turn the corner and run into a big pile of Self Abuse. Enjoy!
Show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Some people have a job to do. These folks know how to 'work it'. On this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires, we learn about a teacher in Texas who was "too racist" to be a molester and a cop who would hire prostitutes and then arrest them. Don't feel too bad though, not every one is 'working it' in the service of bad decisions. We are also going to learn about the judge who holds himself in contempt, and the guy on acid who is trying to follow scriptural advice. If you are just waking up from your binge 'sleep-eating' session, why not towel off, download the show, and prepare to be amazed as we start working it in this week's Podcast of Billionaires. Enjoy!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Sometimes after you've reached your limit, you need to get back and try to find perspective. Maybe you've been working with kids for years. Maybe you shouldn't. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires, we look at some bad decisions where these folks probably shouldn't be anywhere near children. Seriously, cookie monster, you need to take a vacation. Let's sit back, buckle up, pour your favorite beverage, and enjoy this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week on the Podcast of Billionaires we try really hard to talk about an adult situation in a calm and productive manner. Have you ever combined reckless driving with self abuse? Have you ever tried to find a personal connection in an impersonal world? Our first contender tries to do both by breaking through the clutter and starting something new in a uniquely "Tennessee" way. Our show goes downhill from there. Whether you are trying to call your ex two hundred times a day or dreaming about the perfect heist whilst sketching in your sketchbook, this episode won't disappoint. Hopefully by the end of it, you'll be able to tell apart a poodle from a ferret, and feel better about yourself in the process. Buckle up those safety belts, push the pedal down and get ready for this week's Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week was an unprecedented live show. We did a google hangout, and made it available on YouTube to watch live. The internet was pretty crappy here in Roane County West Virginia, but we managed to get 40 minutes of pretty decent material. We learned about a cheese heist that went well, and the subsequent getaway that was foiled. We commiserated over a teenager creepin' at the BINGO hall. (Hint: he gets arrested.) We also look back at some of our favorite show moments and try and learn some lessons about high intensity cardio/sexual encounters, topless protests and whatever the heck Daniel was going on and on about (it involves people living in the attic). Make sure you watch the Special Video Edition of Daniel Eats food. For now, sit back and relax. Your podcast of Billionaires is coming at you recorded LIVE!
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we ask what it takes to make an impression. Do you need to have a case of Michelob Ultra and call the neighbors "rectal orifices", or should you hose down your girlfriend to impress your ex-wife. If those measures aren't extreme enough perhaps you can glean a few pointers from Alvin Ron in this week's Pimp Update and learn about a man sentenced to life in prison for tattooing his women. Rose Russo is back to help us understand what goes through the mind of a woman when their butt is grabbed. Hint: it's violent! And we learn about our idiot of the week, who unsurprisingly is an agent of the TSA. Laser pointers: Yes! Pepper spray: NO! Fill up your bourbon and prepare yourself for maximum enjoyment on this weeks Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaries.com
If you aren't following @_FloridaMan on Twitter, you are missing out: BIG TIME. This week in the Podcast of Billionaires the Florida Man provides us with not one, not two, but three bad decisions. Daniel, Jason and I crank up our critical thinking skills to eleven to try and find out if throwing a wine bottle at a Sheriff's Deputy driving a golf cart is worse than breaking into an elementary school playground wearing only underwear and a cape. Or the Florida Man sleeping in his rolling Meth Lab / Counterfeiting station come from behind and win it all. We also discuss the scourge of transparent yoga pants and we try and solve the mystery of the missing bridge. Do you want your Zombie Update? I know I do! Sit back, relax and prepare to be amazed on this week's episode of the Podcast of Billionaires. Don't forget to follow us @billionaireshow
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week on the Podcast of Billionaires we say “Hello Again” to some bad decisions. We learn about what you shouldn’t do when you are over twenty-one and get carded at Applebees. We also learn about the true meaning of the word EMERGENCY. Hint: someone’s gay. What do you need when you are fighting crime? The exact thing you need if you get demoted from junior high school teacher to building custodian. Also: someone is having sex in a car and in a fit of passion, drives into a building. Where did this happen? Find out on this week’s episode. Sit back, pour yourself a beverage of choice, and prepare to be amazed on this week’s Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
This week on the Podcast of Billionaires we wrangle a special guest. A pimp expert from Bakersfield California to speak with us about a new segment we are unveiling called “Alvin Ron’s Pimp Update”. It was amazing. If you like to laugh so hard you vomit, then skip right to minute sixteen and listen to the dulcet tones of our streetwise guest, Alvin Ron, as he elucidates us about his pimp cup, the Grandma, and the Crip Gang. If that wasn’t enough, we talk about a junior high business teacher with poor punctuation and even poorer impulse control. We also discuss a Brooklyn man’s ill-conceived plan to fake his own kidnapping to get some time away from his girlfriend. Have you ever wondered what the Queen looks like homeless? Have you ever wondered if Batman was real? Well, wonder no longer on this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Imagine a world where you can live, work, eat and play all in one giant building. Our first bad decision didn’t just imagine it, she lived it! Have you ever been so angry with your job at the stress ball factory that you punched your boss? Sounds like defective product to me. In this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires, we delve into the amazing world of bad decisions. We learn to identify d-bags by their pinky rings, and we attempt to enter a magical place with alternative punctuation markings. Brace yourself to feel at least as good or better than a 101 year old marathon runner on this week’s Podcast of Billionaires.
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**Bad decisions get you into trouble. Adventures get you into trouble. Typically the trouble isn’t that bad. You can apologize and move on with your life. In this week’s episode, we learn about the type of trouble that you can’t get out of easily: Trouble with the Law! Daniel is back to tell us about the Swedish guy who tried to turn himself into police and failed. Don’t worry this guy knows that if at first you don’t succeed you have to try, try again. We also learn about the lottery winners who celebrate by blowing up their house.
We try and cure a bad case of Zombieitis by using psychotherapy. Hint: It didn’t work. We conclude this week’s episode with a warning to our lady listeners about the dangers of pervy landlords. Be careful out there lest you get in trouble with the law. Enjoy this week’s Podcast of Billionaires.**
Show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Bad news billionaires: Daniel is out! What’s the good news? Rob is back! This week in the podcast of billionaires we mourn the fact that Daniel missed this episode by asking ourselves WWDD. Rob answers brilliantly by explaining the zombie update without reading the article or even understanding it. (Bonus points for doing it while destroying sobriety single-handedly. His other hand was holding a drink.) The bad decisions this week include an IRS auditor who screws a poor bumbling taxpayer. Twice! We also solve the case of the girls toilet seat that burns a poor boy’s elbows chemically. In addition to all this, we find out where an infant gave the Fox the finger and we learn about how to rent a chinese boyfriend. Stay with us to the end of this episode. Seriously, the zombie bit is really funny: Thanks Australia! Grab a pint (or a quart if you are so inclined) and prepare to enjoy this week’s Podcast of Billionaires.
Show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
**This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we learn about a creepy guy. This isn’t your run of the mill, average creeper, but he is a Canadian bridge commissionaire. We aren’t sure what that means, but we know he’s overstepping his bounds by surprise kissing unsuspecting travelers. Oops, my bad! We also learn about a woman who doesn’t quite shoplift, but gets arrested for it anyway. Also, she hides out in a box. Daniel drives Milo wild by eating wasabi peas, and we discuss the good decision of beating up a would be kidnapper. In addition to this, we examine the best mugshot ever.
Have you ever bought toilet paper in bulk? We have and we discuss the social implications of this necessary embarrassing purchase.
Who buys this? We’ll find out soon on this week’s episode of the Podcast of Billionaires.**
Show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
It happens to the best of us. We find out that people think we are odd or weird, or just plain crazy. So in a misguided attempt to assert our sanity we lash out and act like an idiot, a crazy person, or both. In this week’s episode we get crazy, and ask the question: “Who’s crazy now!?” Join Jason and Daniel as they try to guess who buys a host of crazy products on Amazon. Revel in the excitement of a man who finds his wife’s secret dating site profile, and befuddle in amazement as we listen to a bald man show off his chainsaw-slingshot. Never has a true / false question had so many multiple choices. Seriously, who’s crazy now.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com
Sometimes the best decisions are made on the spur of the moment. That’s also true about bad decisions. Don’t think! Ain’t nobody got time for that! In this week’s roundup we discover the wrong way to steal a donkey, and the wrong way to holster your illegal weapon. We invite a special guest on the show to talk about the good decision of the week. Hint: It involves sharks. We also speculate about the purchasing habits of the criminally insane on our triumphantly returning segment: Who Buys This!? Please pull up a pomegranate and enjoy the show.
show notes @ www.podcastofbillionaires.com