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Hearing impaired protesters..WHAT DO WE WANT.. Hearing Aids.. WHEN DO WE WANT IT.. Hearing Aids.
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My Dad always said to fight fire with fire... An amazing father. Terrible firefighter
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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino... elephino
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Whether it is the same or different kettle of fish... why are there fish in a kettle
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I think I am allergic to cats. Either that or I undercooked it.
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I am worried that when people carve on trees to display love.. why are they bringing a knife on a date
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SCENE. man laying in the back seat of a Jeep. ACTION. Hi. I'm Jeff Goldblum and this is Jackass
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I can guess what is inside wrapped items.. you can say it is a gift.
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You can follow Will Smith in a storm by looking for fresh prints.
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I have not decided if I am a plans up in the air person or not.
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Vintage cleaner for an english wrench... spic and spanner.
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Dear Satan... for Christmas I want a cure for my dyslexia.
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I am not sure if Humpty Dumpty is good nursery rhyme. I am on the fence about it.
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That makes me want to jump off a 300 foot ocean cliff... sounds like a bluff.
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Have you experienced those fish that eat dead skin... way cheaper way to deal with grandpas body
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My friend told me he had hearing lost and I asked if he was sure. He says he is deaf in it.
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A little known fouth wise man brought Jesus protein powder.. it was whey in a manger
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I have interrogating my dog for hours and he still will not tell me who is a good boy
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The inventor of wind chill died this week at 86 but it felt like 67
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Sharks circle humans before eating them to make them not taste like crap
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Sharks circle humans before eating them to make them not taste like crap
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The horse medalert bracet. I have fallen and can not giddyup
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If you do not pay back that loan for an exorcism you will get repossessed
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I write poetry about scammers. I call it prose and cons.
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That Icelandic dog has a bjork worse than its bjite.
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That is not authentic Vietnamese soup. It is faux pho.
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Instead of last will and testament.. It should be called a dead giveaway
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Aquatic happenings below the viaduct with Simon and Garfunkle
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What is up a blind alley and has holes in it... Batmans parents
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The big booty receptionist with the lisp was not at work today. She must have called in thicc
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The bowling alley killer is still at large. Police warn he may strike again.
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a friend of mine does voodoo acupuncture. you do not even have to go.
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One minute you are young and fun... The next minute you are turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.
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Large bodies of water have rogue waves, rogue holes and crooked waves. Sounds like scoliocean.
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A rolling stone grows no moss so leave no stone unturned unless of course you want moss.
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Having a massive head is a hard secret to keep under your hat
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Another name for a happy cowboy is a jolly rancher
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Darth Vader is American because he favours the Imperial System
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The swordfish has few natural predators, except the penfish which is mightier
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Some birds eat other birds so I guess you could say Dahmer eats like a bird
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What is with these drug dealers putting their business in other peoples noses
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Why put the leap day in winter when white months can not leap
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Portcullis!. drawbridge!. moat!... excuse my outbursts. I have turrets.
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A doctor specializing in Adams apples is a guyneckologist
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You can have a beer belly. You can be a belly dancer. You can not be a beer belly dancer.
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My Italian roommate wastes his money buying pasta. He says it was worth every penne
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Juan is very controlling and manipulative and no Juan is going to tell me what to do
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Turns out Canadas not real... its all maple leaf
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My eye doctor is an Eskimo... I guess I am seeing an optical Aleutian
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Difference between a musician and mutual fund is that one will mature and make money
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I enjoy painting wildlife... but the rabbits leave hair on my rollers.
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Taekwondo has backkicks whereas politics has kickbacks
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Is is crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is
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When Mozart was alive he was a composer but now he is a decomposer
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Today someone was killed with a starter pistol... the police think its race related
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My friend got in hot water with a mime and that mime said unspeakable things to him.
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Two hats are hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other.. You stay here. I will go on a head.
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boy.. that escalated quickly.. I mean that really got out of hand fast.
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I buy my guns from a guy called TRex... he is a small arms dealer.
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My friend said he could make a gun with his 3D printer... but I have had a Canon printer for years.
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AD. seeking a man to cross breeds labradors and poodles. A labradoodle dude will do
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Im not humble.. Im just not good enough at anything to be proud.
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Ikes wife is an 80s fire and brimstone saying... Tina Turner burn
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Seafarers can hear the calm before the storm. The sound is a sea flat
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The waiter spilled chowder on my trousers so I said HEY. There is soup in my fly
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The Lord did not walk on water after the resurrection because it is harder with holes in your feet
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My boss asked why I came into the office with corona virus. He misheard... I said I have a case of Corona
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My son teases me for quitting a marathon after 1km. Its become a running joke.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid. His parents slept in his bed when they were scared.
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The reason the Avengers have the best parade float is due to their huge banner.
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In recent news a paddy wagon collided with a cement truck today resulting in many hardened criminals.
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we are starting a fish and chip store run by convicted felons called OFF THE HOOK.
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As the clown and a boy walked through the woods he says.. it sure is scary in here.. the clown replied.. at least you dont have to walk home alone.
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The inventor of the wind chill factor died at 84yrs old... but he felt more like 65
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What is the difference between ignorance and apathy... do not know and do not care
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What was Bob the Builder called when he retired... Bob
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Elliot Ness doing succeedingly well at his job is like gangbusters gangbusting.
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drug addicts who come to faith... Crystal Methodists.
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Dungeons and dragons spell for a hungry sorceror... cast iron
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What is the fastest way to get gum out of your hair... leukemia
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Did you hear about the Greek breakdancer... George Popnlockadopolous
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My boss got mad at me for calling a coworker a chicken.. He said he would not allow fowl language in the office
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I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. I said Sir, you gave me an extra. He replied.. That is a freebie
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What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt.. A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.
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I wonder if Malcolm Xs son is named Malcom XI...
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Got a call from my best friend from jail and he asked me if I remember that we used to finish each others sentences.
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As a rule of thumb domestic abuse is never the answer.
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If God were to give the solar system a Google review... He would give it one star.
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Translucent domiciles hoarding toilets are people in glass houses stowing thrones.
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I went to the miniature turbine museum and I have to tell you... not a big fan.
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The creator of the Sham Wow is a true rags to riches story
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if you have even wanted your pitch queered then this is the episode for you
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reminds me of a jazz mosh pit... a cluster funk
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Foot fetishists so not like redheads. They only like things with soles
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Merry Christmas friends! Drop us a like and subscribe on a platform. Appreciate you all
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My Dad has the heart of a lion... long story short... he is not allowed back to the zoo
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Head and Shoulders should put out a soap called Knees and Toes. That would be Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes
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Spiderman is the best jumping Super Hero... Peter Parkour
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clearly if its not the thing you are thinking of it must be another
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this phrase is encouraging or not.... bless your heart... discuss
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two birds of a feather that stick together... velcrows
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My son kept chewing on electrical chords so I grounded him... He is doing better currently and conducting himself properly
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Face The Music.. I had to pull my kids out of band at school.. too much sax and violins
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We use pie to celebrate Pi Day but to celbrate the planet we use Earth Day Cake
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Even though I powder regularly often my squib is still damp
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I just read the biography of JFK... MIND BLOWING... lets call it a day
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I ate a clock one time... it was very time consuming
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If doubting Thomas watched Jesus explain his resurrection through a window would he be a peeping doubting Thomas
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I saw a hawk wearing a beenie sipping a latte. Turned out it was a millennial falcon
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beer nuts cost two dollars fifty cents but deer nuts are under a buck.
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would you do us a solid by dropping a like or subscribe. Thank you
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We were gonna play Dungeons and Dragons all day but... no dice
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Picking a bud with my bud drinking Bud smoking bud watching Air Bud
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Have you ever seen a pangolin riding horses and a wranglen... down by the bay
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I was told to be more in touch with my feminine side so I brought up something I did four years ago and got angry about it
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if your cannon is loose... just eat some cheese
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if all your friends jump off a bridge would you drive to the bottom and check their wallets
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I felt upset when my doctor said I was getting fat. To encourage me he said to keep my chins up.
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sorry we do not serve horse meat but could I interest you in a filly cheesesteak
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all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy... redrum
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when you respawn in a video game you want it right away. 2000 years ago you had to wait 3 days for a respawn
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if you are cooler than I am... does that make me hotter than you are... food for thought
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what do you call the child of a tyrannical potato... a dictator tot
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If you play the movie JAWS backwards.. its a delightful tale about a great white shark giving arms and legs to disabled people
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Of all Lucky Charms marshmellows...Ed Sheran loves the horseshoes and rainbows. He is in love with the shape of U
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RIDDLINK... the coldest continent is crap... Antarcticaca
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As long as you are blind I look pretty good in the buff
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As long as you are blind I look pretty good in the buff
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Head in the clouds... head in the sand... solid head on her shoulders... connected
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Head in the clouds... head in the sand... solid head on her shoulders... connected
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I was skeptical of chiropractors till I went... now I stand corrected
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I was skeptical of chiropractors till I went... now I stand corrected
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Michael Jackson living in his ivory tower and his ebony tower...
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Michael Jackson living in his ivory tower and his ebony tower...
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police are investigating the assualt of Chris Rock but are unable to find fresh prints.
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police are investigating the assualt of Chris Rock but are unable to find fresh prints.
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when an eel wants to bite.. stick its teeth in your thigh... thats a moray.
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when an eel wants to bite.. stick its teeth in your thigh... thats a moray.
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prequel to the trajedy... six was afraid of seven because seven was at sixes and sevens with nine
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prequel to the trajedy... six was afraid of seven because seven was at sixes and sevens with nine
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I called in to get tickets to an Elvis impersonator. The answering machine said to press 1 for the money 2 for the show.
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I called in to get tickets to an Elvis impersonator. The answering machine said to press 1 for the money 2 for the show.
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v1 Whoever has the gold makes the rules. v2 Do to others before they do to you. v3 Do unto others AS you would have them do to you.
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v1 Whoever has the gold makes the rules. v2 Do to others before they do to you. v3 Do unto others AS you would have them do to you.
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That lung cancer diagnosis was close but no cigar.
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That lung cancer diagnosis was close but no cigar.
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The snake I bought only eats burgers hotdogs and sloppy joes. My anaconda dont want none unless its got buns hun.
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The snake I bought only eats burgers hotdogs and sloppy joes. My anaconda dont want none unless its got buns hun.
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COP..do you mind identifying the body. I have to warn you the body was hacked up. ME.. yes that is my brother Reese. COP..are you sure. ME..those are Reeses Pieces
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COP..do you mind identifying the body. I have to warn you the body was hacked up. ME.. yes that is my brother Reese. COP..are you sure. ME..those are Reeses Pieces
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Better late than never works with any situation. Though not as much with funerals.
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Better late than never works with any situation. Though not as much with funerals.
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Hey you beautiful SUBSCRIBER. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast. Hope your day is amazing.
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Hey you beautiful SUBSCRIBER. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast. Hope your day is amazing.
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At the courthouse I saw a four foot tall felon walk down the stairs... it was a little con descending
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At the courthouse I saw a four foot tall felon walk down the stairs... it was a little con descending
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After I broke my first wind I had to replace it with a second wind
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After I broke my first wind I had to replace it with a second wind
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Its not so much that I have fallen off the wagon as opposed to that the wagon is not capable of holding me any more
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Its not so much that I have fallen off the wagon as opposed to that the wagon is not capable of holding me any more
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I was reading book on anti gravity. I had a hard time putting it down.
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I was reading book on anti gravity. I had a hard time putting it down.
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What do you call a cat that can not speak... mewt
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What do you call a cat that can not speak... mewt
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What do Greek Gods do when screws get loose... they Titan them.
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What do Greek Gods do when screws get loose... they Titan them.
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My wife asked who cut the cake she was saving... but we told her maybe the cake was depressed and cut itself
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My wife asked who cut the cake she was saving... but we told her maybe the cake was depressed and cut itself
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My boss said she would fire whomever has the worst posture.. I have a hunch it is me.
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My boss said she would fire whomever has the worst posture.. I have a hunch it is me.
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My friend got a cast on his broken arm... and I wrote YOU ARE UGLY on it. Talk about adding insult to injury.
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My friend got a cast on his broken arm... and I wrote YOU ARE UGLY on it. Talk about adding insult to injury.
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How do you make a great vegan omelette... you need to start with fresh vegan
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How do you make a great vegan omelette... you need to start with fresh vegan
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One of my molars just said I am handsome. I love having a sweet tooth
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One of my molars just said I am handsome. I love having a sweet tooth
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you could get those grave clothes on me over my dead body
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you could get those grave clothes on me over my dead body
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the musical fruit played on the quarter inch trumpet
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the musical fruit played on the quarter inch trumpet
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JurassicMark in bike shorts is two peas and a pod
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JurassicMark in bike shorts is two peas and a pod
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Rain or shine... I go to my job at the umbrella store
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Rain or shine... I go to my job at the umbrella store
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convert a penny to a dollar but cutting it into four quarters
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convert a penny to a dollar but cutting it into four quarters
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you can get over an ex boyfriend by pressing the accelerator a little harder
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you can get over an ex boyfriend by pressing the accelerator a little harder
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you can make amphetamines from cat saliva... just ask me ow..
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you can make amphetamines from cat saliva... just ask me ow..
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my aunt said slow and steady wins the race... regrettably she died in a fire
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my aunt said slow and steady wins the race... regrettably she died in a fire
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I had a dream about a dancing chicken... it was poultry in motion
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I had a dream about a dancing chicken... it was poultry in motion
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that parade of rabbits falling backwards is more of a receeding hare line
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that parade of rabbits falling backwards is more of a receeding hare line
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I had to quit my job as a treadmill tester.. I just felt i wasnt getting anywhere
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I had to quit my job as a treadmill tester.. I just felt i wasnt getting anywhere
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I used to play in the dirt with grandpa... then my mom hid his urn
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I used to play in the dirt with grandpa... then my mom hid his urn
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Curiosity killed the cat. I drive a Ford Curiosity
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Curiosity killed the cat. I drive a Ford Curiosity
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What do you call a discount on mustard... a poupon coupon
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What do you call a discount on mustard... a poupon coupon
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I have invested in tennis balls... they have a high rate of return
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I have invested in tennis balls... they have a high rate of return
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My doctor told me to cut back on sodium... but I take what she says with a grain of salt
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My doctor told me to cut back on sodium... but I take what she says with a grain of salt
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Gosh. I told you that I couldnt quite finish Devon.
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Gosh. I told you that I couldnt quite finish Devon.
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cats have 9 lives because if they had 8 they would be an octopuss
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cats have 9 lives because if they had 8 they would be an octopuss
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high on the hog is great living... low on the hog is udder disaster
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high on the hog is great living... low on the hog is udder disaster
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I prefer apple juice to orange juice. OJ kills.
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I prefer apple juice to orange juice. OJ kills.
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I may have explosive diarrhea.. its a gut feeling
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I may have explosive diarrhea.. its a gut feeling
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if my spouse sleeps on the wrong side but passes over me to get up on the right side... its a good day
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if my spouse sleeps on the wrong side but passes over me to get up on the right side... its a good day
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we dont make Halloween ghosts out of sheets anymore because we dont want kids looking like grand wizards
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we dont make Halloween ghosts out of sheets anymore because we dont want kids looking like grand wizards
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if I use my nest egg for a rental property am I a landlord and saver
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if I use my nest egg for a rental property am I a landlord and saver
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its always darkest before things go pitch black
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its always darkest before things go pitch black
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that poor guy who was jailed for stealing hay could not make bale
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that poor guy who was jailed for stealing hay could not make bale
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if a tree dryad falls in the forrest does it make a magical sound
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if a tree dryad falls in the forrest does it make a magical sound
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After spilling metal pushpins on the floor I started dancing... I got down to brass tacks
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After spilling metal pushpins on the floor I started dancing... I got down to brass tacks
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dont count your chickens before thet hatch unless you are just counting eggs
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dont count your chickens before thet hatch unless you are just counting eggs
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we are on the same page except one of us is illiterate
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we are on the same page except one of us is illiterate
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blood is thicker than water... syrup is thicker than blood... pancakes are more important than family
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blood is thicker than water... syrup is thicker than blood... pancakes are more important than family
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lady cramps are the WORST... period. I think they are ovary acting
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lady cramps are the WORST... period. I think they are ovary acting
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combustion engine needs gas... fuel cell needs water... getting it wrong gets you nowhere
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combustion engine needs gas... fuel cell needs water... getting it wrong gets you nowhere
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full grosse getting a full nelson from someone in full monty
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full grosse getting a full nelson from someone in full monty
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is over if the fat lady is singing its not over
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is over if the fat lady is singing its not over
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having your bell rung is pain... having someone ring your bell is pleasure
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having your bell rung is pain... having someone ring your bell is pleasure
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if Casper the friendly ghost drinks tequila... is that good spirits or bad spirits
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if Casper the friendly ghost drinks tequila... is that good spirits or bad spirits
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to break the ice I told them I lived in the coldest South American country... Chile
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to break the ice I told them I lived in the coldest South American country... Chile
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did you know the Slim Shady song is backmasked to say its Eminem...
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did you know the Slim Shady song is backmasked to say its Eminem...
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WE DID IT. triple digits. drop a thumbs up. subscribe. Thank you for your support
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WE DID IT. triple digits. drop a thumbs up. subscribe. Thank you for your support
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The game CLUE OLYMPIC EDITION.. it was Tonya Harding.. with the pipe.. in the arena
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The game CLUE OLYMPIC EDITION.. it was Tonya Harding.. with the pipe.. in the arena
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you can tongue in cheek your words but do not tongue in cheek someone else... trust me
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you can tongue in cheek your words but do not tongue in cheek someone else... trust me
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people in the backseat always be like... why am I blindfolded... why are you taking me into the woods
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people in the backseat always be like... why am I blindfolded... why are you taking me into the woods
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Actions speak louder than words he whispered while immobile
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Actions speak louder than words he whispered while immobile
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If at first you do not succeed then try try again... or consider quitting.
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If at first you do not succeed then try try again... or consider quitting.
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I was born on a pirate ship... said the sun of a gun
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I was born on a pirate ship... said the sun of a gun
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a red herring is not a lie unless you believe its a lie
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a red herring is not a lie unless you believe its a lie
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a penny for our thoughts sounds like a fair deal
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a penny for our thoughts sounds like a fair deal
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like a velociraptor on a velocipede at high velocity
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like a velociraptor on a velocipede at high velocity
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the Via Dolorosa is the most well known of crosswalks
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the Via Dolorosa is the most well known of crosswalks
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that cold shoulder goes with your cast iron heart
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that cold shoulder goes with your cast iron heart
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that time I got caught streaking in Tokyo... was a flash in Japan
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that time I got caught streaking in Tokyo... was a flash in Japan
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if there is less cake than frosting is it still a cake
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if there is less cake than frosting is it still a cake
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A rope can not learn to give itself slack because they can not be taut.
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A rope can not learn to give itself slack because they can not be taut.
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only dress as a flour sack for Halloween if you are a gluten for punishment
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only dress as a flour sack for Halloween if you are a gluten for punishment
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soft service ice cream is just hard ice cream that quit
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soft service ice cream is just hard ice cream that quit
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Good luck convincing an actor to change this idiom
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Good luck convincing an actor to change this idiom
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I call this kid Houdini... he is an escape goat
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I call this kid Houdini... he is an escape goat
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if you feed a horse enough pizza... you can make it drink
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if you feed a horse enough pizza... you can make it drink
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the apple doesnt fall far.. except when the tree is planted by a cliff
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the apple doesnt fall far.. except when the tree is planted by a cliff
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me parrots named Chip. Arrr. He be a Chip on me shoulder.
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me parrots named Chip. Arrr. He be a Chip on me shoulder.
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Cinderella was terrible at soccer..always running from the ball
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Cinderella was terrible at soccer..always running from the ball
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fortunately spiderman got bit by an outgoing radioactive spider instead of a recluse spider.
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fortunately spiderman got bit by an outgoing radioactive spider instead of a recluse spider.
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you would lose your head if it was not screwed on.
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you would lose your head if it was not screwed on.
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POLAROID. Keeping more memories than you can shake a pic at.
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POLAROID. Keeping more memories than you can shake a pic at.
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bad samaritans hoarded toilet paper during covid. German samaritans hoard sausage in wurst case scenarios
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bad samaritans hoarded toilet paper during covid. German samaritans hoard sausage in wurst case scenarios
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kick the can... spin the bottle... kick the bucket... container games get worse as you get older
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kick the can... spin the bottle... kick the bucket... container games get worse as you get older
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I wonder if the guy who named umbrellas actually just wanted to call them brellas... but hesitated.
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I wonder if the guy who named umbrellas actually just wanted to call them brellas... but hesitated.
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spilling two turds in one throne... not as classy.
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spilling two turds in one throne... not as classy.
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some countries have not had coronavirus but others got it right off the bat.
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some countries have not had coronavirus but others got it right off the bat.
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its like walking through a gaggle of vapers... thats cloud nine.
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its like walking through a gaggle of vapers... thats cloud nine.
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what amount of time do you need to steep Chinese black dragon tea... oolong time.
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what amount of time do you need to steep Chinese black dragon tea... oolong time.
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Happy St.Patricks Day... its like throwing a sausage down odonelly street... whatever that means.
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Happy St.Patricks Day... its like throwing a sausage down odonelly street... whatever that means.
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This could be the most important idiom we have done but I do not want to make a big deal out of it.
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This could be the most important idiom we have done but I do not want to make a big deal out of it.
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I try to cut the apron strings but she keeps sewing them back on
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I try to cut the apron strings but she keeps sewing them back on
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If you have a fly on the seat of your pants... you may have your pants on backwards
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If you have a fly on the seat of your pants... you may have your pants on backwards
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino..... Elephino
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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino..... Elephino
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My wife is in the medical field and for Valentines Day I got her a bag of blood as it is truly from my heart
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My wife is in the medical field and for Valentines Day I got her a bag of blood as it is truly from my heart
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The early bird gets the worm.. but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese
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The early bird gets the worm.. but the 2nd mouse gets the cheese
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I wonder if when Anakin Skywalker fed Luke as a child if he force fed him
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I wonder if when Anakin Skywalker fed Luke as a child if he force fed him
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A special shout out to todays potential sponsor Cock and Bull Gingerbeer
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A special shout out to todays potential sponsor Cock and Bull Gingerbeer
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That is like Wonderbread calling the ghost white
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That is like Wonderbread calling the ghost white
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Research shows people with the happiest lives have twice as many deep conversations. So interesting. How do you think Superman can choose to fly faster
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Research shows people with the happiest lives have twice as many deep conversations. So interesting. How do you think Superman can choose to fly faster
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I cooked dinner from scratch. My kids were crying and sad. Scratch was a stupid name for a guinea pig anyways.
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I cooked dinner from scratch. My kids were crying and sad. Scratch was a stupid name for a guinea pig anyways.
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Ho Ho Ho... Come sit on Krampus lap and I will stuff you in this sack
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Ho Ho Ho... Come sit on Krampus lap and I will stuff you in this sack
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Knock Knock... who is there... dozen...dozen who... dozen a baker have 13 buns
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Knock Knock... who is there... dozen...dozen who... dozen a baker have 13 buns
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You might not be able to have your cake and eat it too but you can halve your cake and eat it in two
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You might not be able to have your cake and eat it too but you can halve your cake and eat it in two
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If Dr. Suess was to describe cutting the cheese he would say Horton Hears a Poo
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If Dr. Suess was to describe cutting the cheese he would say Horton Hears a Poo
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did you know that tapping the sap from a maple is called a treechiotomy
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did you know that tapping the sap from a maple is called a treechiotomy
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if I were to describe you as a spice I would say you are a good thyme
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if I were to describe you as a spice I would say you are a good thyme
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if an American gives the whole 9 yards then a Canadian gives the whole 8.296m
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if an American gives the whole 9 yards then a Canadian gives the whole 8.296m
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they used olive oil on the body in the original Olympic Games. Just a fact of ancient grease
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they used olive oil on the body in the original Olympic Games. Just a fact of ancient grease
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I was fired from being a paleontologist. Thats one skeleton I didn't want out of the closet
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I was fired from being a paleontologist. Thats one skeleton I didn't want out of the closet
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Perhaps if the drawing board was a fun place with chocolate and coffee and friends... you wouldnt mind going back to it
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Perhaps if the drawing board was a fun place with chocolate and coffee and friends... you wouldnt mind going back to it
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Youd hate to do it, but If your employee needs to be let go... give him the slip
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Youd hate to do it, but If your employee needs to be let go... give him the slip
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pigs have the same sausage shape as a honey bee and they can fly
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pigs have the same sausage shape as a honey bee and they can fly
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If a meteorologist is delayed in examining the rain fall in area... is that a rain check rain check.
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If a meteorologist is delayed in examining the rain fall in area... is that a rain check rain check.
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Jesus plus the 12 disciples are why there are 13 ingredients in plum pudding. Its a bakers dozen. Its also why he was able to multiply the loaves.
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Jesus plus the 12 disciples are why there are 13 ingredients in plum pudding. Its a bakers dozen. Its also why he was able to multiply the loaves.
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you can walk skip run frolick but never jump on the bandwagon
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you can walk skip run frolick but never jump on the bandwagon
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heard it through the glock 9... poor Marvin Gaye
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heard it through the glock 9... poor Marvin Gaye
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do you know how to make a kitchen sink... drop it in the ocean
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do you know how to make a kitchen sink... drop it in the ocean
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the McDonalds manager said his sick employees were dropping like fries
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the McDonalds manager said his sick employees were dropping like fries
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riding shotgun and a shotgun wedding are two rides that are not recommended
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riding shotgun and a shotgun wedding are two rides that are not recommended
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if I want to tightly tie people together it may be easiest to just put them in my pocket like headphones...
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if I want to tightly tie people together it may be easiest to just put them in my pocket like headphones...
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Australia would have been a great penal colony. Lounging around... BBQing kangaroo meat... surfing...
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Australia would have been a great penal colony. Lounging around... BBQing kangaroo meat... surfing...
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I dont want to beat a dead horse but how long does it take to tenderize chevaline
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I dont want to beat a dead horse but how long does it take to tenderize chevaline
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Don't judge a book by its cover... unless it's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
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Don't judge a book by its cover... unless it's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
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A great alternative ending to Titanic would be if it was saved by the flex tape guy
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A great alternative ending to Titanic would be if it was saved by the flex tape guy
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I used to be addicted to luncheon meats... but I quit cold turkey
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I used to be addicted to luncheon meats... but I quit cold turkey
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The cannibal run...Bert Reynolds and Dom Deluise eat their way across America
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The cannibal run...Bert Reynolds and Dom Deluise eat their way across America
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That full figured girl stole my heart. Shes as thicc as a thief
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That full figured girl stole my heart. Shes as thicc as a thief
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On the whole... its difficult having only a Cloaca
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On the whole... its difficult having only a Cloaca
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A picture is worth one thousand words, she read... in braille... unconvinced
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A picture is worth one thousand words, she read... in braille... unconvinced
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I tried to get my bored kid to set up a roadside orange juice stand but he couldnt concentrate
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I tried to get my bored kid to set up a roadside orange juice stand but he couldnt concentrate
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did you hear about the hangmans apprentice who died learning the ropes
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did you hear about the hangmans apprentice who died learning the ropes
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when Marcel Marceau died the mime community had a moment of talking
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when Marcel Marceau died the mime community had a moment of talking
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what do you call a bag made out of a cat...a puuurrrse
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what do you call a bag made out of a cat...a puuurrrse
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remember... if you feed too many turnips to your King cobra it can develop a thyroid condition
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remember... if you feed too many turnips to your King cobra it can develop a thyroid condition
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Setting up two freezers in a fertility clinic seems like an ovary action
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Setting up two freezers in a fertility clinic seems like an ovary action
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How long ago was it that they had pear salesmen... Da Pears
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How long ago was it that they had pear salesmen... Da Pears
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the problem with April showers bringing May flowers is that Mayflowers brought blankets filled with smallpox
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the problem with April showers bringing May flowers is that Mayflowers brought blankets filled with smallpox
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Did you know that the Morton Salt Company is connected to the Space Shuttle Challenger ordeal in 1986
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Did you know that the Morton Salt Company is connected to the Space Shuttle Challenger ordeal in 1986
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Who wants in on this round of sparrow wings... its on me boys
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Who wants in on this round of sparrow wings... its on me boys
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What do you call an Irish inmate with a skin disease.. a lepercon
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What do you call an Irish inmate with a skin disease.. a lepercon
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I am sorry Mr.Lincoln.. You will need to bite the bullet on this issue
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I am sorry Mr.Lincoln.. You will need to bite the bullet on this issue
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How often does the cookie monster wear pants.. Once in a blue moon
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How often does the cookie monster wear pants.. Once in a blue moon
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Any time that an airline offers staff on board who give last rites then you should switch airlines
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Any time that an airline offers staff on board who give last rites then you should switch airlines
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If your are covered in boils then you do not need King Arthur instead you need Lancelot
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If your are covered in boils then you do not need King Arthur instead you need Lancelot
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We are berry happy to present to you the straw that broke Mark Hamills back.
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We are berry happy to present to you the straw that broke Mark Hamills back.
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well this one got a little dark. it turns out that independant research on this idiom leads to mysterious topics like death and more death.
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well this one got a little dark. it turns out that independant research on this idiom leads to mysterious topics like death and more death.
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its the challenging thing when you're out vampiring. You go to feed on someone and their skin gets stuck in your teeth.grosse
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its the challenging thing when you're out vampiring. You go to feed on someone and their skin gets stuck in your teeth.grosse
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laughter is the best medicine, unless of course you're diabetic, then insulin would definitely be a better choice
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laughter is the best medicine, unless of course you're diabetic, then insulin would definitely be a better choice
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Sliced bread seems like a pinnacle achievement. Perhaps a cell phone? No... I'll take sliced bread.
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Sliced bread seems like a pinnacle achievement. Perhaps a cell phone? No... I'll take sliced bread.
