Torty Talks: Recent Episodes
Simon R Anthony
2022 intro, wow, my third year at this game and a few people have actually played my podcasts - a few have reached double figures ! I'd like to make triple figures please this year, but to do that I may have to advertise myself a bit - tough job for me
2020 intro - A (mostly) comedy podcast, but also a personal view of life from 1956 to today - in random order. So far I've not posted much of the old stuff, there is a set of 1978 Proms recordings but the rest are monologues, stories and live recordings form this first full year of podcasting. It gets a bit dark in places, especially in March !
The bird/book Guide MK2 is deliberately confusing Random, what on wherever is reverse temporal engineering?
Arthur meets up with Ford - the previous Bird 'owner' and speaks of similar confusing, but life saving oddities.
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Ford has sent a new version of the Guide to Arthur, but they don't know that yet. Random - runs off with it and meets a 'bird'.
You do realise that ALL episodes are available on this podcast don't you?
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In which Arthur is asking all the wrong questions in many of the wrong universes to almost all the wrong species. Ford is trying to work out what has happened to the Guide - and then escape from it.
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In which Arthur decides he real is in the wrong Earth, and Ford is horrified to discover the HHGttG owners have - changed things.
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In which Ford Prefect Finds a new edition of the Book, and tries to keep it. Meanwhile, Arthur is looking for Fenchurch in all the wrong universes.
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Trisha McMillan - if that is her name - does not have her bag with her, but does get to fly in a spaceship
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In which Arthur and Fenchurch are confused by Wonko's sanity but given clues for finding that which Fenchurch lost.
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The Fuolornis Fire Dragons not being available due to extinction, a 747 takes the place of a big thing in the sky while our couple - couple.
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They do a lot more than fly - no dragons were involved, but a 747 got very close. Ford meets a new life form and is utterly unhelpful.
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Arthur, having found Fenny by extraordinary good fortune, does a lot of talking. Ford does some hacking. Fenny found the Guide and things really take off.
New readers, start ages ago or you won't have a clue what's going on.
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Well, this gets a bit racy towards the end - and even more so in the next episode. First though Arthur has to avoid a raffle - which he fails to do and not lose the ticket - which he does. At least, he starts out with Fenny.
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HHGttG - Douglas Adams So long and Thanks for all the fish,
Arthur is solidly happy at home - on Earth, despite the junk mail and the fact he has lost his Guide.
He meets a rain god in person this time.
He is an idiot in his re-created Local, he almost runs over the most important person in his life and finally, Chattus Interuptus foils Arthur's first attempt at really wooing Fenny.
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in August 2023 on Thursdays. (depends on when you find this podcats...)
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HHGttG - Douglas Adams So long and Thanks for all the fish,
Arthur meets a rain god, Fenny and a fish bowl, oh yes, and finds the Earth has his local pub in it again - and his house. Did he dream it all?.
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in August 2023 on Tuesdays.
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HHGttG - Douglas Adams So long and Thanks for all the fish,
Arthur returns to Earth somehow and gets very wet - often. Ford gets very drunk and can't pay for it until- he gets published.
Arthur gets stunned by an unconscious woman.
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in July 2023 on Mondays.
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HHGttG - Douglas Adams brilliant Life the Universe and Everything- after a bit of the last book.
Slartibartfast shows them more of the history of Krikit, our friends get involved because it's not a recording this time but the real thing. Trillian takes charge and saves the universe - sort of. Marvin is still depressed and it's spreading. Oddly he doesn't meet Hactar.
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in July 2023 on Thursdays.
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HHGttG - Douglas Adams brilliant Life the Universe and Everything - the horrid flying party, why Kriket got to be so anti-social, we meet Hactar, also brilliant and also unhappy
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in July 2023 on Tuesdays.
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HHGttG - Life the Universe and Everything - after the last test match ever at Lords. Staring a sofa and a party in the sky that you really don't want to be at.
This shall be or has been the programme as broadcast on Ambronradio.com in July 2023 on Mondays.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony, Agrajag Is imoderately upset by having been killed an almost innumerable number of times by Arthur Dent - and he makes the point clearly and at some length. More of the game of Krikkit and it's many offshoot games.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony, In which, Zaphod is oddly not killed by robots, a bit of the 'Heart of Gold', the gold part, is stolen. Why the Kikketers hate the rest of us and the legal judgments arising.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony, Here a sales pitch is made for a model of the "Wikkit Gate" and an explanation of the original and why it is remembered. Zaphod returns to the story, as does Trillian and the 'Heart of Gold'. A lot of drinking is done, by Zaphod. Then - the ship is invaded...
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony,
Slartibartfast explains his mode of transport- in terms of a robot run bistro. He shows a historical reproduction of the cause of and reason for the events at Lords. An advert explains a bit more of the problem.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony, Aliens stopped play, but this is Somebody Else's Problem. Slartibartfast may sort things out, but it doesn't look like it frankly watching the replay.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony,
Here we find out why Arthur was insulted and discover he is by far not the only one. We shall meet the insulter, Wowbagger again, but not yet. We have a game of cricket to play - until the players from Kricket arrive.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, here up to the end of The Restaurant at the end of the Universe, and the start of book Three. This starts with the end - an utterly unimportant meeting and moves on to the reason for a lot of insults.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me. Arthur and Ford fail to integrate with the new arrivals from the B Arc and so go exploring. They meet and get fed by the local inhabitants and then, find a note in a glacier - Slartibartfast's signature. The B Arcers don't really care.
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The continuing reading of Hitchhicker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - read by me, Simon Anthony, here up to chapter 25 just after the 'B Arc' has crashed on a beautiful young planet that would have generated the right answer to the question to which it turns out the wrong answer is 42 - I think.
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In which, I make a big mistake. It's fixed here though.
This episode covers life in "the B Arc" and its telephone sanitisers as they are about to crash on the very early earth and cause a software glitch...
A brain glitch follows, being the original transmitted version of this episode
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Hotblack Desiato's black ship is targeted at a sun, only an ignored Marvin can save them - possibly. Somehow they get split up and go several separate ways and times. Ford and Arthur get the short straw of another ship, on the way to Golgafrincham. The others return the the Heart of Gold, at least for a while.
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The allure of the Restaurant at the end of the Universe, AKA Milliways, twinned with the Big Bang Burger Bar, is about to be lost. Before the end of time, our heroes leave on another stolen ship, but this one is about to go bang - in the next episode. In this one they muck about with light entertainment and a depressed robot.
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It's not all glitz and glamour at the end of time, it's a day like any other - even when it happens time and time again. This time - it's different. Max is unhappy. He is always unhappy, but as a true professional, he won't show his deeper feelings. Our team don't want to hang around for the big finish.
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From the surprising instant arrival at the end of time itself, many millions of years since the last episode - all of which were spent by Marvin going the long way, to the point where they are introduced to the object of their meal and converse with him.
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How Zaphod copes with being the most important being in the universe - and how it is true - sort of.
A very delayed passenger space flight - leading to some answers from Zaniwhoop.
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The continued reading of Douglas Adam's brilliant work,The HHGttG, the Restaurant at the end of the universe bit. Still no food though, just an office flying to the Total Perspective Vortex
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The HHGttG - being my continued reading, now as far as Ursa Minor Beta. In which a few more answers further complicate the question for Zaphod and his locked off brain bit. What are Frog Star fighters anyway?
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My continued reading of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy - The Restaurant at the end of the universe bit.
In which Arthur asks for a cup of tea. What could possibly go wrong ?
Read by me, Simon Anthony - with a Long Covid soar throat.
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in December 2022. This is the Thursday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. HHgttG In which they try to escape the mice, but are as yet unaware of the returning Vogons
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in December 2022. This is the Tuesday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. In which '42' is not a very good answer. It needs even deeper and far longer thought.
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in December 2022. This is the Monday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. In which, Arthur learns the truth about the Earth - and Mice.
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in November 2022. This is the Monday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. In which they split up and explore Magrathea -
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in November 2022. This is the Tuesday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. In which Zaphod finds Magrathea - and they all survive - except the Whale.
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These are the programmes as broadcast on Ambron Radio in November 2022. This is the Monday transmission of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy as read by Simon Anthony. In which Ford and Arthur meet Zaphod and Trillion on the Heart of Gold.
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HHGttG - by Douglas Addams. He was a terribly clever chap and I like reading his stuff, so I've done it here and I'm quick about it too ! But - Arthur and Ford are only on their first space ship by the end ...
The dreadful sound of a Babel fish doing its job but not helping much during a conversation at an airlock.
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I've lost count of how many episodes I have recorded. This one ends just before Chapter 12.
Zaphod is Galactic President and is a thief. Trillian is another escapee from Earth, but we don't know that yet and Marvin hasn't mentioned his diodes either.
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So far my reading starts where the half hour slot for my Ambron Radio broadcast runs out and picks up where I can find a sort of re-entry point. Th brick like Vogons do their thing, then get ready for the poetry - in the next episode..
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I started with Douglas Addams' introduction, then found there was little space left for a decent chunk of the actual book, so part two starts quite close to the story's beginning. This section has not moved on very far as yet. Arthur is still in the mud and the Vogons are biding their time - hanging around.
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More living with Long Covid - followed by Kelly Shanley's 'Drunk 30 something'
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Raymond Baxter makes his mark reporting on the Silver Jubilee. Salisbury Cathedral's Bells for the Queen. Starting with, sad comments about the state of the NHS. Radio comedy clips and links - from the TV as well.
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These recordings are from my ancient tape archive, recovered thanks to Kaleidoscope. Week Ending was a Radio 4 topical comedy sketch show of very high quality.
Following that, is a VHF radio recording of a car chase through London around the same time. It has a happy ending - if you are not the baddies.
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Just the TV sound, recorded directly by wire - not sure why I didn't record the video. I think I had a VHS by then but tapes were so very expensive - and I had not joined the BBC yet...
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From my archives... remarkably clear for all the years spent in attics and suchlike places - these recordings were made on valve reel to reel tape recorders at 1 7/8th ips.
I get to say a few things about the NHS too.
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This is the soundtrack of a BBC TV programme - no pics except those from your memories !
Part one is on another episode download.
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I read the introduction and almost all of the first chapter. It ends with Vogons hanging around like bricks don't.
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This is the second TT episode of HHGttG. It starts with the Vogons and ends with Zaphod.
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Mostly a BBC Radio 4, Week Ending from 1977. This was a topical news comedy show. Oddly the jokes are still relevant. Even odder, the jokes are still very good ! They did this each week but broadcast it so late at night that very few people knew about it. I recorded quite a few.
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Mostly a BBC Radio 4, Week Ending from 1977. This was a topical news comedy show. Oddly the jokes are still relevant. Even odder, the jokes are still very good ! They did this each week but broadcast it so late at night that very few people knew about it. I recorded quite a few.
I have just got my hands back on my tape archive from back then and so far have extracted three episodes.
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Mostly a BBC Radio 4, Week Ending from 1977. This was a topical news comedy show. Oddly the jokes are still relevant. Even odder, the jokes are still very good ! They did this each week but broadcast it so late at night that very few people knew about it. I recorded quite a few.
I have just got my hands back on my tape archive from back then and so far have extracted three episodes.
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I have trouble sleeping, and sitting down, and lying down. My body decides to go far a partial totally unco-ordinated walk without my permission. This is the story of one specific night's terror and how I attempt to cope with RLS/ PLMD, insects and snoring. Such fun.
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Sometimes I have to go out, sadly often to a hospital. On this day I put on my Binaural stereo recording headphones. Quite frankly, I think the sound is remarkable ! OK, the content is a tad embarrassing, but, it's a slice of life and shows my extraordinarily slow but now definite recovery from Long Covid continues.
And then ... a comic short play in which I play all the characters. I hope it is self explanatory - even though I do mix up the names of the people I play - and back again. The context of the stereo positioning tries to help out, but I get confused with that too. One day I may make it properly.
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Artificial Intelligence voice faking demo. House at Pooh Corner Chapter Three
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Programme as broadcast on Ambron Radio
David Attenborough in the full transmission with - Uber driver wisdom, The House at Pooh Corner Chapter One
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Welcome 2022 - Pooh - meets Tigger, the A.A. Milne stories - a repeat :-)
Trying to be Santa
My efforts at getting to the Grotto while suffering from Long Covid and associated idiocy.
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Kelly Shanley wrote this, I just read it.
https://medium.com/slackjaw/david-attenborough-presents-a-thirty-something-female-attending-a-halloween-party-fe2629f6b63f
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Winnie-the-Pooh, Chapter 1
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The first of the Pooh books, in which we meet Edward Bear and call him Pooh.
All the stories shall be here somewhere - may be even properly named !
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In which we say Goodbye - at least until I read the next A A Milne book.
This is for my future grandchild - about whom all we know is she is probably a she.
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These are the A A Milne Pooh stories, this one is where Piglet Pooh and Owl are in Owl's tree when it stops being a house.
Then a couple of rants I made while being forced to walk places - while suffering from both Long Covid and a total inability to read or follow maps - again.
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This is a reading of the A A Milne stories, Tigger is Unbounced in this case.
Then an edited version of a talk i gave recently on the subject of the early experiments at the BBC in stereo recording made by my father Chick Anthony.
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The Barking Tornado - and Gulliver's Travels
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Digital Humans - Cold Talks Part 2
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Digital Humans - Cold Talks part 1
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Reality hits hard after the incredible magic of a Prom season begins to fade, even after this year's shortened and for me further lessened event. I talk of aspect of teaching but get interrupted by reality on four, or possibly eight legs.
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This is the story of my decision, and the subsequent experience of at least the first half of the Last Night of the Proms 2021
The second have shall have to wait ... possibly years. Copyright you know.
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The good people of https://www.descript.com/ have rather scared me. Their AI system sounds, not a bit, but exactly like me - as you can hear as I experiment with it. Shockingly good, but fortunately not very emotionally varied . I somehow doubt that shall take long to fix though !
Also, diary thoughts on the continued incredible speed of technological advance - as seen from a bloke who can hardly get around still due to Long Covid.
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Things have not calmed down even a bit yet, so I just had to talk about recent goings on - again.
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Life is getting more than usually confusing, so I have made a note or several about it.
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On this day I pretended to be a drama teacher, then failed at being a Prommer. I'm not well... Have I mentioned this?
I may be getting better though.
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This is part diary, part documentary of the 30th July 2021 in London and the Royal Albert Hall, first night of the Proms 2021
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This script, written by Dov Rigal and myself some thirty years ago was turned down by the BBC as being 'Too complex and obscure'. It wan't then and is even less so now. Ho hum !
It's read by me as a sort of book - just EP one so far.
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An attempt at a description of the scientific process of flattening Flat Earthers by inflating them with facts.
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A comic piece by me, about me performed by me so it will probably be totally ignored as usual.
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- or how to pretend to be ill and the dangers of doing so. I have had M.E. and now have Long Covid, do you see the problem ?
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I have ideas, theories, deep thoughts. I started this piece thinking it would be comic, but I expect you may laugh at it anyway - even though I'm serious. 42 is not mentioned.
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Read by Simon Anthony, Written by Lewis Carroll
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Alice through the Looking Glass 2
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Alice through the Looking Glass 3
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Alice and two of my own pieces - Jobs and Pets
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 12 Alice's Evidence
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 11 Who stole the Tarts?
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 10 The Lobster Quadrille
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 9 The Mock Turtle's Story
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 8 The Queen's Croquet-Ground
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 7 A Mad Tea Party
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Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Chapter 6 Pig and Pepper
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Lewis Carrol - Advice from a caterpillar.
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Alices’s Adventures in Wonderland
Lewis Carroll
**CHAPTER IV.
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill**
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Lewis Carroll
CHAPTER III.
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
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Alices’s Adventures in Wonderland
Lewis Carroll
**CHAPTER II.
The Pool of Tears**
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I've read all my Pooh stories, so I move on to Alice ! What can I say ?
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In which we leave our friends in an enchanted place.
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In which, Piglets - move house.
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Pooh - well, Piglet this time, and Owl and a blusterous day
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Chapter, something of Pooh. Another lovely story. I hope you like my reading of it.
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It's as much as I can do to make the recording - I can't write about it too ! This is chapter 6 I think.
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Tigger Comes to the Forest and Has Breakfast
Winnie-the-Pooh, The House at Pooh Corner. A. A. Milne.
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A House Is Built at Pooh Corner for Eeyore
Winnie-the-Pooh, The House at Pooh Corner. A. A. Milne.
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A brief but informative expose of the government's p[osition of the national situation.
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https://vimeo.com/492865758 has pics to go with this :-) Santa doing his best to be positive in lockdown
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This is a pull together of loads of stuff that may have been put on this podcast already, but it's Christmas and I've just get a new job - so - time is limited :-)
Written by Kelly Shanley and Amber Doig Thorn - and me ...
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This is another in a continuing series of chats with James, a trained musician - which I am not - on issues of interest in the world of music ( classical tendencies predominate ).
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This is another in the continuing story of a Thirty something American woman, unmarried, no kids, surviving in her natural environment.
Written by Kelly Shanley
https://medium.com/@kellyshanley
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I'm still not well, but life is not too bad really - at least when looking to the future or enjoying the past- with James Sinfield
This is a fixed version of the wreckage I first posted.
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More thoughts on performance style and how to listen to music from James Sinfield and myself
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Humour in music - and other things
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James Sinfield and I discus what makes music funny, good and what will make it last. Sorry for the terrible sound quality !
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Jaymes Sinfield says :- " I am an extremely dynamic individual, always like meeting new people and trying new things. I have a strong hunger for success and am willing to do anything to get to the top. I was born with a serious heart defect known as Tetralogy of Fallot, which required life-threatening open heart surgery at a very young age so I truly consider it a blessing to be alive. I'm the kind of person who likes to be different from the crowd. I pride myself on attempting and doing things others wouldn't, taking risks, and generally wanting to be noticed. I enjoy song writing, composing, playing piano, cooking, making people laugh and above all making each day count."
And - he wanted to talk to me, so we talked, and this is what we said.
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This is the first part of a recording of a live videocast I made on Likee - no idea why, but I talk about conservation, space, the future, that sort of thing. Then, I do some more of the same in the next/last podcast(depending on which of these you are reading)
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This is the first part of a recording of a live videocast I made on Likee - no idea why, but I talk about conservation, space, the future, that sort of thing. Then, I do some more of the same in the next/last podcast(depending on which of these you are reading)
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The first part of this podcast documents the massive impact that the discovery of potential life on Venus had on the people around me. Spoiler - very little.
Then, reality of the impact Covid has on my pills - Twitching again.
Finally - the sound of a live but edited demo by Extinction Rebellion as they tell the world basically what I've been on about for ages. This demo is against the throw away and the high price fashion industry - and the advertising and news reporting of it - and how it brainwashes the public.
And then to calm down a tad, and to fill the gap - some rain and a drop of thunder for you.
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Three stories,
commentary on the changed attitude of the public to stuff left around the place,
David Attenborough - The Baby Shower - by Kelly Shanley - https://twitter.com/KellyOShanley
What the Last Night of the Proms means to me.
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This is my view of what we have done to get 'here', what we have to change in order to keep going and why we should bother to try. I'm being upbeat !
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This is the story of what happened to me just before going in to the operating theatre - and why I think it happened. No names - no blame.
I suspect there shall be more to tell. I hope I shall be able to ell it !
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David Attenborough Presents: A Single Thirty-Something Female Attending A Baby Shower Hungover
Written by Kelly Shanley, performed by Simon Anthony
@KellyOShanley
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Chapter 10 ...in which Christopher Robin gives a pooh party, and we say good-bye
Read and recorded by me - written and copyrighted by A.A.Milne
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Whinnie the Pooh Chapter 9 ...in which Piglet is entirely surrounded by water.
Read and recorded by me - written and copyrighted by A.A.Milne
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I do my best to do justice to these iconic stories. They play a big part in my early taped life.
All the Pooh stories are copyright A.A.Milne
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I do my best to do justice to these iconic stories. They play a big part in my early taped life.
All the Pooh stories are copyright A.A.Milne
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Dear old Pooh again, followed up with my side of a conversation with my wife about my foray in to comedy writing - and on reason I didn't - and - how Homeopathy works - possibly :-)
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OK, it's not been long yet, less than 24 hours, but, I'm feeling better from a mass of debilitating symptoms that may be covid or cancer related- or may be something else. This improvement may be a flash in the pan, but I've had other miracle fixes that I don't believe - because they are impossible (homeopathy and ME) - but - I record this as a placeholder for future information. It currently looks as if ... well, I'm really not sure yet. Time shall tell. Watch this space ! 4/8/2020
Here is a link to my Mother's story :- https://torty.org.uk/m-e-joy-anthony.html
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I love Pooh, I hope you do too !
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How to break things
My long slow development from being a bloke with a hammer to a engineer with precision screwdrivers.
Comic history of me - scripted monologue
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Whinie The Pooh Chapter one - Bees
- AA Mine's wonderful creation. I think I shall read all of them. This is the first.
Terribly sorry it was broken for so long
It only got fixed because one of you told me...! Thanks Lynda !
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Written monologue on the subject of - recent changes, over the last 60 years or so
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The Changes Part 3 The slow growth of Green thinking
Improvised monologue on the subject of How long it takes to make changes !
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492 Korna Klub in lockdown - Greg starts a new job - Desmond is his boss.
'Live improvised drama'
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492 Korna Klub in lockdown - Greg gets food delivered by Father Clifford.
'Live improvised drama'
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David Attenborough Presents: A Hungover Thirty-Something Female Starting Her Day. Written by Kelly Shanley, Voiced and slightly altered by Simon Anthony acting@torty.org.uk
medium.com/@kellyshanley
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I perform it as David Attenborough - again.
A reading of a piece created by Kelly Shanley
medium.com/slackjaw/david-atte…-again-42b2e19d4a43
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My hopes for the future based on the trials of the present caused by the shortsightedness of the past.
A hopefully upbeat comical reading of the way the world actually is changing - so we can all have the future I talk about in another podcast.
comic monologue
green
covid
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Musings on the remarkable technical achievements people have made - followed by a comic reading of stuff I didn't write !
A reading of a piece created by Kelly Shanley
medium.com/slackjaw/david-atte…-again-42b2e19d4a43
Drunk 30 something - narrated by (a) David Attenborough (impersonator)
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Well, my wife hasn't got it, so may be I got something else. This is the story of why we may have made a mess of the test for Covid !
Slightly funny if you can stand an idiot at 6 am with a dead brain.
My test result is back now too - after three months - I 'didn't have Covid when the test was made'. That tells us nothing except that there was indeed no point in taking it - as I said... I think. Blood test next. I 'm not doing THAT myself !
covid
corona
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This is three hours of Dawn Chorus, recorded over three days. A few cars and the milkman removed plus a bit of trimming to make it run under three hours by a minute. No idents at either end - it's all the birds of Barking in London during the lockdown. 4am to 5am early May 2020 . This is natural background - unless you listen to it. The birds are talking to each other, you can hear conversations, competitions, copying, outdoing each other, may be having fun. They take it in turns to grandstand after the first wakeup burst at about 4am. There are three of these wakeup calls, and loads of songs.
I have recorded the Dawn Chorus before - as a podcast - before the lockdown. It is clear to me the birds like the lack of traffic !
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This does not complete my story, I am still not well as I type this. In part three, I eventually come home - on the same day ! I have much more to say - including a lot of thank yous !
My word, the NHS staff are fantastic !
NHS
Covid19
Corona
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This is the continuing story of an unexpected trip to Hospital with suspected Corona Virus. This 'episode' stars Stevie my nurse, half my height and weight and almost exactly my age - a month older. He knows I'm recording and is happy to be happy. He had it last month...
Covid 19
Corona
NHS
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This is part one of my partly accidentally documented story - that is still unfolding - of my sudden hospitalisation with - possibly - ' The Virus'
NHS
Covid-19
Carona_Virus
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My thoughts and experiences as the shutdown effects deepen in Barking London.
chronavirus
covid19
surviving
barking
community
Green
environment
society
future
newworld
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... being the Dawn Chorus with rather more birds than yesterday's podcast. This lasts for almost two hours, you'd wonder how they don't get tired - if they weren't birds.
dawnchorus
birds
quietlondon
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05:30 to 06:15 BST . Recorded from a window ledge in Barking, London.
I have edited out the sound of three cars and the milkman - basically though - no one is around so far this morning.
Mostly, this is a recording of our Blackbird.
Enjoy !
DawnChorus
birds
quietlondon
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Well, not specifically this, but something like it - what ever this is. Decades of environmental effort may have helped the planet get ready for this current trial, I hope so. Here, I rant about it all - again. This shall be the last actual rant I think. May be the next podcast shall have some laughs in it.
chronavirus
covid19
surviving
barking
community
Green
environment
society
future
newworld
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This is an in depth talk - documenting the changes to our society as they happen. I give my view of why and what should stay changed - then - I cheer up a bi with the sound of a YouTube video I voiced about a Christmas office party. The full and more splendid version is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zbl7MsPd7g - Amber Doig-Thorne is the writer.
chronavirus
covid19
surviving
barking
community
Green
environment
society
future
newworld
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Well, we told you so - environmental reasons for 'the virus' - and the changes that should result from it.
chronavirus
covid19
surviving
barking
community
Green
environment
society
future
newworld
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This is an apology. I hate adverts, loath the things. I used to remove them from TV programs as part of my job. When it was my job to transmit them, I turned down the sound. I think products should sell themselves, but, I realise people have to know the thing exists and have a clue what it is and does and so, here is my alternative text entry system for mobile phones.
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My intention is to draw a picture of my historic view of the process of a male person getting his ( my ) hair shortened. It was so difficult that for ten years I didn't. That is another story... should have been in this one come to think of it.
Nothing political in this one, I don't even mention the environmental crisis or cars !
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This one has been actually written, not another stream of random thoughts. The plan is that it's light hearted, may be even comic. The content? Headphones down the ages...
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Roadside parking and why my compass didn't work.
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Topics current in February 2020, the passing of time, a partly light hearted, but deep conversation with myself.
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In 1978 a lot of people queued for the Last Night of the Proms, a truly British activity. But now the overnight queuing has been banned and the day queue only lasts for a few hours, not weeks. This is a record of the queue from back then - including an interview with Richard Baker - the BBC news and music man. RIP.
OK, it's also a history of the start of my Prom going life - and my sadness at the effect the process of Brexit has had on me of 'Being British'
Richard Baker
Proms
Royal Albert Hall
Being British
Brexit
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I'm stunned by what we can do these days and I think you should be too. In this chat I hope to enlighten younger listeners to the marvels they just accept and let them see the wonders yet to come - and guard themselves , or prepare themselves for the future.
Yes, that is rain and thunder in the background - both a filler and a calming influence.
physics
crystal radios
Technology, history
Thunder
rain
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Written and read by me, Bert, a man with no future is a Sci Fi and possibly comic, story of a man who's best friend is not his dog, indeed he probably doesn't know what a dog is..
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On the last day of 2019, I think green thoughts and get a bit angry.
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This is a production created by Josh Hill. It is taken from series three.
https://www.facebook.com/hillproductionsfanseries/
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This is very much aimed at children aged 8 or less - or more if you like that sort of thing. It's in five chapters linked by music.
I hope yo like it !
It tells the story oh the feelings people get around the turn of the year and what happened when the feelings felt things themselves !
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Thinking my way though an irritating day - yes, I do get irritated a lot, but I make the most of it. I also make siwriter.co.uk - an app of beauty and utility for anyone who wants to write something without getting out of bed.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
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What is a fact ? Who says so ? Why do they say so and who can you believe anyway ? Well, I have concerned myself with these problematic thoughts in this podcast.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
Politics
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... what I tend to find I am doing when not either making a podcast or now - lecturing. This is a stream of irritation rant with an occasional positive sort of solution thrown in to stave off depression and dull the angst.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
Autobiography
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This is a re-recording of a story I wrote decades ago and updated a few decades later and recorded one decade ago - so the original sounds a bit ropey. What does rope sound like I wonder... Anyway, I shall recreate all my old recordings I think. If I do, this shall be the first one ! It tells the tale of the dawn of personal computing and its impact on my life - note - forty years ago. I must ell a new tale starting from where this one ends, don't hold your breath though.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
History
Autobiography
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This is an explanation of why I use the word Torty in all the stuff I do, my podcasts, my websites and my computer programs - yes, I write them too. It's another partial family history pet story.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Autobiography
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Oh, I'm fed up with politics and the environment - so I'd better do something about them. Thoughts that I need to put on your chest..
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
NotExactlyComedy
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
History
Autobiography
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As I write and as I create this podcast, I am getting ready for a live TV debate. I have been on live TV many times before, but somehow this feels more real. It's a Politics Special and I am expected to say something, directly to politicians - sadly, about whom I know nothing, but I know a lot about trying to be one. This is what this podcast is about - in part.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
History
Autobiography
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Siwriter.co.uk is the website I have created for this wonder - text entry typing app.
What is #SiWriter ?
SiWriter lets you take notes by typing with just one hand, the other can hold the iPad. This is not 'hunt and peck' one finger poking, SiWriter provides finger-tip positioned active key areas on an iPad screen which you tap in easily remembered combinations. This will produces all the letters, numbers, punctuation marks and other symbols of the standard (Latin 2) character set - that is, everything an English reader would expect to have available.
The SiWriter is not a new idea, cool it certainly is, but it is not new. In use it looks like the '#Padds' in Sci Fi, people tend to notice as you rattle away SiWriting notes on an iPad, they won't hear you though, it is as silent as your fingertips.
The SiWriter app is a software implementation of the CyKey from Bellaire Electronics http://www.cykey.co.uk/ . The Cykey has the advantage of being a real, solid object, but the app is less expensive if you already have an iPad. The physical aspects of the Cykey make for a very pleasing tactile feedback for a note taker which SiWriter Pro intends to match by giving you absolute control over the pad positions.
The History
Many years ago, #DougEngelbart invented the mouse - you may have heard of that. He also invented a five switch text entry system which you probably have not come across. He introduced both ideas in what became known as the mother of all demos, but the chording system never took off. The plan was that each finger pressed keys in groups - or chords- following a code that resulted in text output, but people found, or thought they would find, the learning curve too steep. That was probably the reason too few even attempted to climb it. Even when microwriting was implemented by #CyEnfield and used in the Microwriter - it never really took off.
The code chording system was used in an award winning PDA called the AgendA and I used one of them until it wore out - then I wore out another. The AgendA hit manufacturing problems, but it was the 1980s and so you'd expect that, but it was not until 2000 or so that the #CyKey replaced it. It uses the same codes #CyEnderby refined for the #Microwriter and many people use it to this day, but, it has to be wedded to a large base station or a laptop to be of any use. I wanted the speed and ease of '#Qunikey' text entry but with the power of an iPad - and so I wrote SiWriter.
The difference.
SiWriter uses the touch screen as the five, now eight, keys. Sadly there is no simple way to check that your fingers are in the right place to press the pads correctly and there is no tactile feedback to say what is going on, and so you do have to use your eye to keep the fingers in the right place. This was not the advertised plan. It is possible to anchor down the iPad and your wrist and type without looking where your fingers are going - in just the same way as a QWERTY touch typist can, but that takes more effort than I wanted anyone to use, so I have abandoned the 'type while not looking' concept for now - you do have to look. So, what is the point ?
It is faster to type, faster to learn and it's possible to type on a bus or the tube, or standing - and - an iPad is much smaller than any laptop. There is the advantage - typing whenever and wherever you want.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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This is part of the rehearsals for 'Die Meister Prommer Von Kensington' - a silly thing we Prommers put on for the day of the Last Night. The people in it shall remain un-named here - but, they know who they are. I doubt anyone other than people in the performance would find this even faintly interesting, but I love it ! The are - many - more tapes like this...
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
PromConcerts
queues
Groperetta
PAFC
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Impossible things, #time isn't real. #comedy, #monologue, me talking about stuff - why now is better than then because stuff now is impossible, and Time is an illusion - it's just the direction we live in.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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Carpets, a story of the problems of crawling and. the New Good Days, #comedy of sorts.
Carpets
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
monologue
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I had a phone call today from our son, he is very depressed, almost too deeply... He wants the world to hear his plight and share his pain and that of other folk who have also become addicted to prescribed drugs - intended to help them - but which made them all far far worse. This is just part of his story and it is in no way a happy one. My comedy is in other podcasts. This podcast is supposed to make, or help you think. It is painfully real.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Politics
MentalHealth
depression
addiction
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I'm not a sporty person but have had to deal with other people loving it and thinking I should too. This piece is my revenge !
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At last #Space is once more in the news - because humans are in need of it and going there. These are my non too serious thoughts on the subject.
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SimonAnthony
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Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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Monologue
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Me thinking my way through how and why everything exists. I've got more to say and it keeps growing, but I think this is enough for now. I try to explain things as simply as possible - and find new avenues on the way...
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Cosmos
physics
existance
Monologue
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I get lost easily - #London is an easy place to get #lost in ! - and I do. I get irritated a lot, but also have solutions.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
car
traffic
polution
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Two stories, #Queues, how they have changed and what happens to me in them.
#Heat - what it does to me ! - Go on guess :-)
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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I added the subtitle because I was being nice... Go on, prove me wrong :-)
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
Autobiography
car
traffic
polution
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What we do to sort ourselves out, shall, I believe, stop others from 'disliking' what we do so much.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
History
Autobiography
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A green thinker's thoughts about the future of population and what it does - spoiler - it's good news.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
Politics
History
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My experience of taking exams - from the position of standing over the students.
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My personal view and experience of teaching mentally and physically disabled people and my thoughts on how we could possibly fix their problems using computing analogies and software and hardware debugging concepts.
Note, we are all advanced chimp like creatures. If disability removes that advancement the ancestral systems take over - but these also may need fixing.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
medical
Politics
Autobiography
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This is NOT endorsed by the Green Party - in any country - but only because I haven't asked for it to be. I think you will find my remarks, made as a Green Party member are really rather nice. Also, I set achievable goals with existing technologies to score them - even though I am not sporty.
brexit
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
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Monologue
Politics
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This is an explanation of why and what I did at #school in the 1970s that got me to be who and where I am today - spoiler - I did almost nothing
GrammaSchool
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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What it says on the tin - and what I did then, at least in part.
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SimonAnthony
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Comedy
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Recorded on the hop, written in a bus, recorded walking home, the read at home and created on the fly.
Well, I had to wake my brain up after invigilating an exam you see.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
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History
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Technology
Acting
Actor
acting@torty.org.uk
ExamInvigilation
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Also available with pictures ! at - https://youtu.be/D41VBI1UmJ8
A Tortoisesoft Enterprises production
Greg, my 492 Korna Klub character after his shock election victory.
Improvised comedy drama - sort of.
podcast@torty.org.uk
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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My memories, their accuracy and relevance. Can they be trusted ? What really happened anyway? My perspective based on actually recording from 40 years ago.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Memory
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My life with '#RLS' - a poorly named ailment that basically is the total lack of control over tired limbs at the worst possible moments - and when you need to rest. Not so much restless, or periodic, more like being possessed. #PLMD
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SimonAnthony
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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I perform regularly on https://www.492kornaklub.com/ as a character called Greg - sometimes Jeff, therein lies a long story. Anyway, I have nicked /edited out the bits from one hour long improvised drama transmitted in May 2019. The show in full is broadcast on http://galaxyafiwe.com/ at 5pm every Friday. The second half is audience participation - call the characters and ask/tell them what's going on - and we reply in character. The actor playing Desmond is Jerome Wise Millington.
#TortyTalks
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#Comedy
#Over60AndStillGoingStrong
#492KornaKlub
#improvisedDrama
#improv
#drama
#ImprovDrama
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This is the word of pocket microphone story as it happened of how I actually eventually made it to where I had to be and did what I had to do. I don't yet know if it was good enough, but, who am I to judge ? Odd stuff - but real. This is another outside travel story recorded as t happened and annotated after the event. I think this sort of thing will be of historical interest eventually - because no one pays any attention to it at the moment - it shall soon change and be lost - unless I record it. You can too by the way.
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The #DawnChorus - in Barking - and the #traffic chaos - everywhere. Both recorded live, only the #birdsInStereo. Oh, and I talk a bit about them both too.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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Monologue
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This was not fully planned, a fly on my phone style podcast - as it sort of happened - with fiddly bits added after the event. I'm going to, and having an audition as a standup comedian. This is not a joke free zone.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
Comedy
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
Autobiography
medical
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Drink - and why I don't
Techno magic, and why I go on about it ( and how stuff works ).
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Comedy
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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Technology
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BBCMicro
UK101
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Man flu from the inside and a cryptic short.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
medical
Monologue
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I worked in TV for over ten years, it wasn't always fun, but I'll tell you some of the good bits.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
Drama
Politics
History
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BBCMicro
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A story about birds, very large birds, but then I'm giving away the plot - and fertilising it too.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Monologue
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A #story, #medical in nature, uncomfortable in so many ways ( #piles you know ).
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue
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'We are the #future' - audio #play
Written, recorded and sound designed by Alex Georgiou , a Goldsmiths College student. Molly Ward plays the AI, Cassandra, and I play the bloke who gets it in the - brain.
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Drama
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This is a recording 'off air' of the Torty Talks radio show as broadcast on 11-4-2019 on #Ambro-Radio.com
It includes several audio/textual time capsules of my invention - documenting events about thirty years ago, but written at the time - often on a #MicroWriter or #AgendA #quinkey system. Sadly these no longer exist, but, I have written #Siwriter which is an app that does about the same thing. It runs on the larger iPhones and smaller iPads. #Siwriter.co.uk shows how it works. An improved version with Geolocation is on the #Apple #Appstore.
Of Frogs and Techno Dads
Sparks on Bonfire Night,
A Moving Experience
Dr Who , my #stories about making it
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Greens
Monologue
HomeImprovement
DrWho
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The danger and fun of #fireworks and my #birthday #celebrations
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Environment
Monologue
Autobiography
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The changing face of work, and child minding for fathers. This is a comical view of a serious matter - originally written a quarter of a century ago on a Quinkey keyboard. It wore out, so I created Siwriter.co.uk
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A story of a #cat in the night and
one about the Cat's inhabitants, #fleas
TortyTalks
SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Over60AndStillGoingStrong
Monologue#Autobiography
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The tile says it all, I say it longer, #barbeque are a good idea but a bad practice - at least in my experience
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
Monologue
Autobiography
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The Geezer - a #poem I partly remember and then rebuilt.
Other people's #pets - what I don't like about them.
The #embarrassment of youth, #birds and #cats
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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I did not enjoy being young - am I'm not now at last, but was I when this was recorded ?
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
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Smells is a comic monologue about, smells.
Smells
Monmoham is a dramatic story which I did not write, but do perform here
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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My reasoning for why and how the future will cope with loads of people with little to do.
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SimonAnthony
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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How I got to where I am job-wise - as of ages ago though. Other podcast updates are available.
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SimonAnthony
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acting@torty.org.uk
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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A partly political, mostly environmental excuse for why I don't have a proper job
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SimonAnthony
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Over60AndStillGoingStrong
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What I have been driven to do after not getting work as a web developer or lecturer ! - Rather goo really :-)
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
acting@torty.org.uk
ComedyPodcast
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Cycling is a good idea, don't listen to me ! I hate it, there is no reason for you to hate #cycling too.
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SimonAnthony
TortoisesoftEnterprises
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Monologue
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My relationship with fire over the years, a comic realisation.
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SimonAnthony
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Monologue
History
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Flats are just one place to live, this is a story of a few of mine.
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SimonAnthony
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Homes used to have these, I miss them, despite their problems.
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SimonAnthony
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Fireplaces
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The personal story of how I learned to learn to love the computer the hard way - in about 1985
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This is a comedy drama, written and performed by me, Simon Anthony. Well, I thinks it's funny. I liked making it anyway !
It's the story of a man who can not or chooses not to ever lie, worse than that, he says what he thinks when he thinks it.
Quite refreshing maybe ?
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As I say in this introduction ... Well, I won't repeat it here, you can hear it. Basically, this is my life history in recorded sound, readings from writing made at the time and portions of life itself. I've been around a long time, the span I cover is over 62 years so far, and I'm only 61. Listening to this string of - currently disordered diary entries - shows some of the extra-ordinary - and yet utterly missed changes in normal life that have flowed past us all without us really spotting them. Here, they stand out like, well, you tell me. The biggest thing I note is the utter lack of the internet !
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HomeImprovement
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Acting
Actor
PromConcerts
queues
Drama
History
Groperetta
PAFC
depression
addiction
Autobiography
HomeImprovement
DrWho
MentalHealth
car
traffic
pollution
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