Secure Marriage Podcast: Recent Episodes
Paul & Shannon Elmore
We’ll show you how to have a marriage where you fight less, feel understood, and enjoy a deeper connection with your husband or wife.
Once again, I’ve been an imperfect husband. Unknowingly, over the last several months, I’ve been doing something that has made my wife feel unloved and unimportant. In today’s podcast, you’ll hear us work through the issue together, and see what it looks like to get reconnected again.
Sometimes, my wife comes up with some CRAZY dreams and ideas. It’s in those moments that my true character as her husband is revealed.
On today’s podcast, you’ll hear about Shannon’s latest “adventure” and what a joy it was being her biggest cheerleader (minus the pom poms).
Want to work on having a happier marriage while enjoying the beautiful blue waters and white sandy beaches of the Caribbean? Listen in on the conversations from the couples who went on our 2024 Secure Marriage Cruise and hear how their marriages have changed for the better.
Ever had to make a decision which is guaranteed to make at least one person angry, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to get out of it?
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll give you crystal clear instructions on what to do if your friend tells you they’re having an affair, but doesn’t want you to tell their spouse. Buckle up.
What are you supposed to think (or do)when you’ve told your husband for years that you want to be celebrated on your birthday, and he still completely forgets or does lame last-minute things? That’s what we’re tackling on today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
P.S. We’re also taking a painful walk down memory lane and talking about some of the ways I hurt Shannon because of my deep lack of self-awareness.
Do you know how to get emotionally reconnected after a fight? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll walk you through the secret recipe you need to know that will make your wife’s heart melt with love and affection.
We understand that you get frustrated with your wife and kids at times. But losing control and blowing up on your family does damage that can last for years.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll look at why losing your temper is actually causing more problems than it’s solving, and the two times it’s actually okay to express really strong emotions at your spouse or children.
If you spend a lot of time beating yourself up internally, chances are you’re pretty critical of everyone else around you, including your spouse.
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re exploring how shame becomes a toxic element in your relationship and why it’s important to become the healthiest version of yourself.
Remember the last time you or your spouse blew up in anger during a fight? Remember what they said and how they acted. Now imagine the same fight except without the blow up. How would things have gone differently? How would it have felt.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re introducing you to the little known technique that can remove almost all angry outbursts from your relationship.
Shannon and I have committed to doing planks everyday of 2024. So far, we’ve kept our promise despite being sick for the first two weeks of the year. So what does this have to do with marriage? You’ll have to listen to today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast to find out.
Husbands… have you ever woken up and the first thing you realize is, your wife’s really mad at you? Welcome to my world today.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re inviting you into our humor-filled morning of a wife who didn’t get enough sleep. Buckle up!
It’s Christmas Day on the podcast, and out of the goodness of our hearts, we’ll share with you the RIGHT way to pick a Christmas Tree… which obviously is Shannon’s way. 😁
Merry Christmas to everyone who so kindly listens and supports us here at Secure Marriage. Without you, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do.
At some point in your marriage, you’ve probably said (either verbally or internally), “We’re sooooo in love!” And I have no doubt that this was (and maybe still is) true. But being in love will never be enough to have a healthy and secure Marriage.
“Why?”
I’m so glad you asked. That’s what we’re covering in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
P.S., If you’re a husband who’s finally realized you need to do something to rebuild your relationship with you wife, check out my new one-on-one coaching program for men.
When your spouse starts sharing the intimate details of your relationship with other people, it can feel like a major betrayal. It can hurt even more when you find out those other people are extended family members, On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re exploring the options you have as you work through […]
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re challenging the belief that dating others can inherently strengthen a committed relationship or marriage. We’ll shed light on the emotional risks and potential damage it will inflict on the foundation of love and trust.
If you truly want to be heard whenever you speak, you need make sure your nonverbal communication (posture, attitude, tone, and timing) isn’t sabotaging your message. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, you’ll learn why HOW you say things says more about WHAT you’re saying than the actual words you use.
When things are getting bad in your relationship, where’s the line between continuing to fight for the relationship and calling it quits? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll attempt to answer this difficult question as well as explore one of the deeper issues that lead to this question in the first place.
It’s pretty difficult to find resolution when your spouse is trying to avoid any conversation about the topic. It usually leads to frustration, disappointment, and eventually discouragement. Instead of getting mad, in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we want to help you understand why they’re withdrawing and show you a better way to […]
It’s been a hard week at our house this week. Shannon went through an experience that scared the crap out of me, and my response, as I tried to care for her, was to yell at her. Yes, we know it doesn’t make sense, but in a backwards sort of way, it does. If you […]
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re going to listen and respond to one the best answers to this question we’ve ever heard. It’s honest. It’s clear. It’s blunt. And, it’s also the truth. Thanks to @discovergrace and @pastormikeadkins on IG for the 30 second clip you’re going to listen to today.
When your spouse is doing something that’s bugging you, the first (and most natural) thing your survival brain tells you to do is to tell them what they’re doing wrong. Of course, you expect they’ll be ever-so-grateful that you told them how wrong they were because, after all, you were just trying to be helpful. […]
What do you do when your husband, who is genuinely loving and kind most of the time, admits he finds other women attractive? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll show you how to navigate the variety of confusing feelings and learn how to respond in an appropriate manner.
Realizing you’ve been a less-than-stellar husband to your wife?. On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we explore the journey of self-discovery and self-improvement when you’ve finally woken up to your shortcomings as a partner. Whether you’ve recently had this realization or it’s been a long time coming, this episode offers valuable insights on […]
In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll reveal the things to say and, more importantly, NOT to say when your wife has “strong feelings”. Learn how to navigate these situations with patience and grace and create a more harmonious and supportive partnership, even when emotions are running high.
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, join us on an informative, humorous, and empathetic journey to understand the nuances of supporting your wife whenever “Aunt Flo” comes to visit. Learn how you can be a more loving and supportive husband even while the two of you are riding the rollercoaster of her hormone […]
Negative self-talk is a subtle cancer that can disrupt, and even escalate, everyday conflicts. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, Shannon and I are exploring the intricate connection between your inner dialogue and how it impacts your conflict resolution skill.
Working through a fight is one thing. Getting emotionally connected is an entirely different skill—one that not many couples have learned to do really well. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll talk through the psychological barriers to getting reconnected and a few practical steps to make it easier over time.
Fixing a marriage when one spouse is not willing to do the work can be challenging. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we talk about the difficult decisions a spouse has to face when they realize they’re alone in wanting to improve their relationship.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll teach you the fine art of turning your loving husband into a certified expert in avoidance tactics. Forget about teamwork, communication, and shared responsibilities—we’re here to show you how to master the art of making your man conveniently disappear whenever there’s work to be done. After […]
In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re sharing some insights that underscore how acts of selflessness and generosity can lead to thriving relationships. From the small gestures that strengthen emotional bonds to larger sacrifices that shape the foundation of lasting relationships, we uncover why embracing the philosophy of giving ultimately paves the way […]
When you can understand and manage your own and others’ emotions, especially in the midst of complex and stressful situations, you’ve finally mastered the essential skill of emotional intelligence. On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll show you how EQ will help you to communicate, collaborate, and positively influence your spouse despite them […]
Earlier today, Shannon typed a question about marriage and relationships into an AI engine and was stunned by the response she received. Surprising, the answer it returned showed a strong bias against husbands. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll share with you the response she got and what it means for men […]
In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re talking about the art of creating unforgettable moments for your spouse. Through self-less, intentional acts of service, you can learn how to fill your spouse’s cup and make them feel loved and cared for.
🎉 Celebrate with us on our monumental 300th episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast! Join Shannon and I in this special episode as we reflect on the most memorable moments, groundbreaking revelations, and heartwarming testimonials that have made our journey together so extraordinary. Tune in as we raise a toast to love, trust, and unbreakable […]
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage podcast, Shannon and I try to answer the question “Why is it so […]
When you become aware of something that needs to change in your life, it’s not always easy knowing how to […]
It’s not easy to be emotionally vulnerable in front of your wife (or pretty much anyone). For a lot of […]
(A little FYI… Last week, we released a different episode with this week’s title. (Doh!!) While I have some words […]
When your spouse makes a mistake, how much time, energy, and effort do you spend trying to get them to […]
Over the last week, I haven’t been a kind and loving husband. The times I’ve been wrong, I’ve responded with […]
Does it feel like your husband spends more time on his phone than with you? Are you starting to get […]
Are you able to anticipate what your husband’s or wife’s needs before they need it? In today’s episode of the […]
One of the biggest complaints we hear from couples is “My spouse expects me to do everything.” or “My spouse […]
It’s terrifying if your husband or wife continually blows up in anger. You never know what’s going to set them […]
If you’ve ever discovered your spouse has cheated on you, you’re immediately hit with a flood of emotions and questions. […]
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re tapping into some of the wisdom from your favorite mustachioed “football” […]
So, you want to work on making your marriage better, but the idea of sitting in some hotel ballroom for […]
You know how we’re constantly saying, “We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we do have a Secure Marriage.” Well, […]
Being emotionally vulnerable isn’t always easy for men (duh). What makes it harder is when a husband makes an awkward […]
Your survival brain says, “I want to make sure I get all my needs met first.” So what happens when two people, both with legitimate needs, are in the same room? Who’s supposed to give up their needs to serve the other? That’s the question we’re going to answer on today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Hurt people hurt people”. Unfortunately, the words your spouse throws at you in the midst of their pain can leave permanent wounds.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll look at how those situations develop in marriage and what you can do to start healing from those verbal attacks.
Do you want to get some outside help for your marriage, but your husband doesn’t want to “air our dirty laundry” to some stranger? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll look at why some people are highly resistant to seeking help, even though their marriage is falling apart.
You’ve heard the terms “love & respect” thrown around for years now, but chances are you don’t actually understand what they really mean when it comes to marriage and relationships. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll break down what each term really means and how it applies to your relationship.
P.S. You’ll also get to hear us work through a minor conflict we bumped into while recording this episode.
Are you an Unconventional Couple? If you are, then you probably have a happier marriage than most couples out there. Why? Listen to today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast to find out.
Does it feel like you made a huge mistake by getting married? Wish you could have a do-over? On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll look at the mindset you need to have if you’re going to have a happy and long-lasting relationship.
Marriage is based on being vulnerable and transparent with each other. The minute lies, secrets, or jealousy creeps into your relationship, trust starts to erode. If you want to learn how to safeguard your marriage, listen to today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
Many older women are afraid their husband may be tempted to leave them for a younger woman. This doubt and insecurity can become overwhelming and incredibly discouraging.
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll look at the things a husband can do to reduce this fear in their wives as well as the things the wife can do to start to build some self confidence.
Trauma can complicate the normal times of stress and conflict in a marriage. Understanding these unique dynamics is essential if your marriage is going to survive long term.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll give you some practical tips and tricks to help improve communication and conflict resolution with your spouse.
What do you do if your husband or wife simply ignores you whenever they’re upset? Is there a way to get them to engage so you can get things resolved?
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re exploring your options to see what’s best for your relationship.
When you’re not feeling good physically, it’s nice to go to a doctor and have them tell you exactly what’s wrong with you. The same thing applies when your relationship is struggling.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll show you how you can determine if your marriage is sick or healthy.
Music by orangery and Katzen_Tupas from Pixabay
So. You want to make your marriage better. There’s a lot of places you could start, but what’s going to get you the biggest bang-for-your-buck? This is exactly what we’ll show you on today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
Music by PianoAmor and JuliusH from Pixabay
Sometimes it’s the little things about your spouse that just drive you nuts. The things they do aren’t wrong, inappropriate, or immoral, but for some reason, they get under your skin and start to rub you the wrong way.
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re working through the variety of feelings that can show up and, more importantly, how to respond in a healthy and loving way to your spouse.
Does your spouse expect a reward every time you ask them to do something helpful for you? Does it feel like you’re having to keep score and always losing?
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll look at the toxic dynamic of quid-pro-quo and how to get out of the contractual mindset in your marriage.
Music by FreeGroove and Alex_MakeMusic from Pixabay
Did you know a large portion of the conflict in your marriage comes from your personal stuff before you were married? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, you’ll learn why it’s critical to become the healthiest version of yourself so you can have the happiest marriage possible.
Music by The_Mountain from Pixabay
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, Shannon and I once again share how we actually use the Secure Marriage tools in our everyday lives and how they help us get through our fights and feel emotionally connected.
Music by NaturesEye and Music_For_Videos from Pixabay
Okay. You know you’re ready to get help for your marriage, but you don’t know what type of counseling you should be doing. Should you find a professional counselor? Is Pastoral counseling just as good? What if we can’t afford counseling?
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll walk you through what to look for in couples counseling and how to make this important decision.
Music by Ivan_Luzan and NaturesEye from Pixabay
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re sharing more personal stories of how Shannon and I get connected […]
Learning to compromise in a marriage isn’t always easy, especially when it’s around the topic of having more kids. In […]
Sometimes your spouse isn’t ready to go to couples counseling when you are. Should you wait, or can doing counseling […]
How does a mature, healthy man look and act? Do the men of today look different than the men of […]
Recognizing and responding to emotional calls (or bids) is considered one of the key elements of a successful relationship. Unfortunately, […]
For many people, being able to identify and verbally articulate their feelings feels like an impossible task. When overwhelmed, they […]
What is the fastest and most effective way to deal with your past hurts and hangups? Do you have to […]
What if you’ve tried everything you can think of to make your husband feel loved and appreciated and he still […]
Have you tried everything you can think of to get connected to your husband, only to walk away feeling hopeless […]
Well, we made it! Shannon and I just got back from our first-ever Secure Marriage Cruise to the Mexican Riviera. […]
Different sexual drives don’t have to ruin your relationship. Problems arise when you stop trying to understand—or actually stop caring […]
Even though communication is important in any happy marriage, it’s actually the bi-product of something much more important. In today’s […]
There are very clear signs when your relationship has crossed over from a bad relationship to an abusive relationship. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re looking at those markers and what you need to do if you find yourself in this painful situation.
You’ve probably heard that marriage is hard, and the people who say that aren’t wrong. But, believe it or not, having a happy and fulfilling marriage isn’t THAT hard.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re going to tell you the one simple thing ANY couple can do that will guarantee them having a happy, secure marriage.
If you just found out your husband or wife has had an affair, your brain immediately kicks into hyper-survival mode. In that state, it’s easy to make decisions that seem like a good idea at the time but, in fact, end up making things worse.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll clearly lay out what NOT to do and offer several positive alternatives during this difficult time.
Only a handful of couples know how to use this magic tool that makes fights and conflict pretty much non-existent in their relationship. If you want to be let into the secret, just listen to this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.
Shannon and I didn’t know how to have a good marriage when we first got married. But over time, we learned the essential skills to be able to say, “We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we do have a secure marriage.”
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we let you in on the steps we took that make it possible for us to be happily married, even after 30 years together.
Warning: This episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast was not part of our regularly scheduled programming and contains strong opinions that may offend some husbands. As always, it’s our hope and desire to bring truth to painful situations so husbands, wives, and couples can learn how to have healthier and happier marriages.
If 2023 is the year you’re going to make some changes in your relationship, we’ve made it easy to become a better spouse and enjoy a happier marriage.
In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll give you some ideas and let you know what we’re doing to make our marriage better in 2023.
As many of you know, Shannon is a Highly Sensitive Person. When I first suggested that she might be an HSP, she did NOT take the news well.
Since then, we’ve both come to understand and accept what it means to be an HSP and how it affects our relationship. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we talk about the best way to have this conversation with your wife if you suspect she may be an HSP as well.
Do you ask your wife, “What do you want to do?” a lot? Chances are, you’re asking this because you don’t want to make a decision that disappoints her. The problem is, when you ask this question TOO much, you end up putting all the emotional weight and responsibility on your wife, which disappoints her.
On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll show you a better way to show your wife you love her WITHOUT putting all the responsibility on her shoulders.
We recently received an email saying the Secure Marriage Podcast talks more about husbands trying to meet the needs of their wives and not enough about the wife learning how to meet the needs of the husband. So, in today’s episode, we attempt to balance the scales.
We hope you enjoy.
Husbands, you can’t fix a marriage you’ve been neglecting in three days. When a wife is at the end of […]
Nobody likes tests. And if it feels like your spouse is testing you all the time or trying to catch […]
It can be hard to do kind and loving things for your husband or wife when the warm, lovey feelings […]
If you’re in the military, or business requires you to be gone from home for extended periods of time, it […]
If you’re a wife with kids, a job, chores, a dog, and a husband—all of which need your time and […]
What do you do when your wife won’t stop attacking you despite every effort to de-escalate the situation? Is there […]
Even though relationships are complex, there’s one thing that’s been proven to be the most important if you want to […]
If you’re married, you’re going to have fights. But if you use the tools we’re going to teach you in […]
What do you do if you want another child, but your husband doesn’t and wants to get a vasectomy? Where […]
So… you’ve just shared your honest opinion with your spouse, and instead of them saying, “Thanks for sharing” it leads […]
You probably know what it feels like when you’re in a bad relationship, but can you clearly answer what it […]
As your relationship moves through time, the feelings of “love” start to change. If those changes feel like you’re losing […]
If it feels like your spouse is hiding things from you, it’s tempting to try and find “proof” of their […]
Taking responsibility, apologizing, and validating your spouse’s feelings are supposed to make things better, right? So what happens when you […]
If you feel taken advantage of because your spouse expects you to do all the chores, you’re going to want […]
For years (okay… for centuries), there’s been a debate on the purpose of marriage. Should it be for your own […]
Does your husband embarrass you whenever he expresses his strong feelings? Do you wish he would be more conscientious of […]
Every relationship has its ups and downs. How you move through them will either build more connection or lead to […]
If your spouse has betrayed your trust by having an affair, you’re probably doing everything you can think of to […]
Most couples are trying to stay “independent” and failing. They have this flawed belief that they can get married and […]
Today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast is part two of Shannon’s Tough Mudder saga. You’ll find out how well […]
Shannon is an incredible woman. Earlier this year, she made the decision to run a 30K mud run at the […]
You may have a hard time believing this (we did at first), but research shows that couples who said they […]
If you’ve listened to the Secure Marriage Podcast for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard us say, “It’s not […]
If your husband refuses to do the things to learn how to be a better husband, you’ll want to listen […]
I (Paul) have been going through a season of depression. Obviously, it affects Shannon and our daily interactions. On today’s […]
Being rejected every time you ask for sex is bound to lead to strong feelings of resentment, frustration, and disappointment. […]
Yep. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re talking about money. But, like with all things marriage, we’re […]
We’ve all heard the platitude, “Happy wife, happy life.” But, what would happen if we took that idea seriously? When […]
If you’re getting married (or engaged), you want to make sure you’re compatible with each other and marrying the right […]
The post #216: We’re Getting Married. Do You Offer a Pre-marital Program? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your husband has grown distant and the spark has started to fade in your marriage, in today’s episode of […]
The post #215: How Can I Make My Husband Fall In Love With Me Again appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Yes. This was a real question that was posted, so we decided to give it a real answer in today’s […]
The post #214: Can I Tell My Wife to Shut Up? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Comparison and accusation will kill your marriage. Telling someone they’re inadequate because you’ve done more will never build trust and […]
The post #213: Is Tit-For-Tat Destroying Your Marriage? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re considering separating and you want to do it in a healthy and productive way, today’s episode of the […]
The post #212: How To Navigate Separating From Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Why do you say the meanest things when you’re fighting with your spouse? Why can’t you control your temper and […]
The post #211: What to do if You or Your Spouse Are Verbally Abusive appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re addressing a very real problem… having to deal with a spouse […]
The post #210: What to do if You’re Stuck in a Horrible Marriage and Your Spouse WILL NOT CHANGE appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Early in our marriage I didn’t know how to love my wife well. Because I never had anyone show me […]
The post #209: Things Paul Wished He Knew How to do Early in Our Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Has your husband been pulling away emotionally? Does it feel like there’s a bigger and bigger gap growing between the […]
The post 208: How to Get Your Avoidant Husband to Pursue You appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The other day, I suggested to Shannon that we try a little experiment and see if we can be 100% […]
The post #207: Are You Afraid To Be 100% Honest With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
I wish today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast was based on theory. Unfortunately, I, like a lot of other […]
The post #206: When Your Husband Spins Everything To Be Your Fault appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you choose to be married and/or have kids, you are making the decision to no longer live your life […]
The post #205: When Do We Get To Do Things My Way? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What do you do if you realize you haven’t been the kindest of husbands for the majority of your marriage […]
The post #204: My Wife Isn’t Attracted To Me Anymore. Is It Too Late? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we talk about the difficult task of having to set boundaries with […]
The post #203: How To Set Boundaries Even When You Don’t Want To appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Oftentimes, the biggest changes come from the smallest actions. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll show you […]
The post #202: The Habit that Leads to the Biggest Changes in Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
This week, while training for her Tough Mudder, Shannon had a little “accident”. This experience reminded us both of the […]
The post #201: How to Help Your Wife When She’s in a Crisis appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s a big big day for Shannon and I here on the Secure Marriage Podcast. We’ve hit 200 episodes and […]
The post #200: Holy Cow! It’s our 200th Episode appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Why doesn’t my husband want to try to understand me or my feelings? Why does he make ME feel so […]
The post #199: Am I Broken Because My Husband Won’t Listen to my Feelings? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re in a relationship with a man who treats you poorly but you keep hoping he’s going to change […]
The post #198: Are You A Woman That Suffers From Beauty and the Beast Syndrome? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Does your interactions with coworkers of the opposite sex make your spouse uncomfortable? Have those situations caused accusations, mistrust, and […]
The post #197: What’s Crossing The Line With Coworkers of the Opposite Sex appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The way we receive care as a child affects how we engage in relationships for the rest of our lives. […]
The post #196: Healthy Ways to Handle Anxious Attachment Issues appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I wish we had better communication in our marriage” then we have an incredible […]
The post #195: How To Have Better Connection, Communication, and Conflict Resolution appeared first on Secure Marriage.
After spending the last few days being grumpy, I’m finally coming out from under the emotional cloud and I found […]
The post #194: Why Everyone Has A Need For Connection appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The last two days I’ve been “that husband” who’s been in a really bad mood and acting surly and grumpy […]
The post #193: How To Be Angry & Still Stay Connected appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Policemen. Firemen. EMT’s. Doctors. Nurses. We’re grateful for each and every one of them. And yet, statistics show these first […]
The post #192: Why First Responders Have A Higher Divorce Rate appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We are designed to heal. It doesn’t happen fast… the process isn’t always predictable… But it does always happen. In […]
The post #191: How To Walk Through Loss With Your Spouse, Part 2 appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s been a painful couple of days for Shannon. Yesterday, she found out she lost something that’s incredibly precious to […]
The post #190: How To Walk Through Loss With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How do you rebuild trust if your spouse has cheated on you? Infidelity is a deeply personal and painful experience, […]
The post #189: Should You Check Up On An Unfaithful Spouse? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you like to tell your spouse what to do? Are you “helping” your spouse by giving advice and they […]
The post #188: Why You Need To Be Careful Giving Advice To Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Everyone struggles with some level of self-criticism. So how do we support our spouse when they get stuck in an […]
The post #187: How To Help Your Spouse Deal With Negative Self Talk appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re sharing a major life change for Shannon, myself, and our entire […]
The post #186: How To Handle Major Life Changes With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Last Saturday, I had a run in with one of “those people” who ends up on the news for getting […]
The post #185: How To Respond When You’re Treated Rudely appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We all have this built in alarm system that works hard to prevent us from looking bad. So what happens […]
The post #184: Are You Willing To Look Foolish For Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The trip from LAX to our hotel didn’t go quite as planned today. In this episode of the Secure Marriage […]
The post #183: Choosing To See The Best In Bad Situations appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What do you do with this statement? How are you supposed to respond? What does it actually mean? Is there […]
The post #182: What To Do When Your Wife Says She’s Not In Love With You appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your wife has also devoted a large part of herself to being a mom, when the kids are ready […]
The post #181: How To Help Your Wife Find Herself appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When my best intentions get executed poorly and end up hurting Shannon’s feelings I sometimes wish she could just read […]
The post #180: What to do When Positive Intentions Get Lost appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When other people make mistakes or don’t plan ahead and it costs you time, energy, or money, how do you […]
The post #179: How Your Husband Should Respond to Being Inconvenienced appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How do you measure connection in a marriage? What exactly is it and how do you get more of it […]
The post #178: What To Do When Connection Is Missing In Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Has it ever felt like your husband wasn’t truly listening to you or your ideas and no matter how hard […]
The post #177: Why Rigid Thinking Will Ruin Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s easy to feel trapped and discouraged if your husband doesn’t think he needs to do marriage counseling. But that […]
The post #176: Can I Fix My Marriage If My Husband Won’t Do Counseling? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Physical health. Weight gain. Dress sizes. These are very common points of insecurity and conflict for a lot of couples. […]
The post #175: How Can A Husband Love His Overweight Wife? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you get really good at doing marriage, not all misunderstandings will lead to conflict. Sometimes they’re so ridiculous and […]
The post #174: Why Miscommunication Doesn’t Always Lead To Conflict appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Did you know you can talk to your wife in such a way where you stay emotionally connected and both […]
The post #173: How To Validate Your Wife Even When She’s Wrong appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Does your husband get defensive whenever you need to talk about something important? Does it feel like he shifts the […]
The post #172: How to Initiate Hard Conversations With Your Husband appeared first on Secure Marriage.
I didn’t want to record today’s podcast, but Shannon made me. I was in no mood to think about marriage […]
The post #171: What To Do When Your Husband Wakes Up In A Pissy Mood appeared first on Secure Marriage.
“I’m at the point in my marriage where I feel so ignored, neglected, and numb that I’m ready to start […]
The post #170: Why You Need A Relationship Roadmap appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What was the last stupid thing you and your spouse had a fight about? For us, it was hamburgers. But […]
The post #169: How to Not Let Hamburgers Ruin Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Your spouse just screwed up again. You’re fuming inside, feeling frustrated, hurt, and disappointed. You want to give them a […]
The post 168: How To Respond Graciously To Your Spouse’s Mistakes appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you (or pretty much any human being) become afraid, your survival brain tells you to try to get as […]
The post #167: Is Being Controlling Ruining Your Marriage? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Resolving conflict is hard enough even on the best of days. When one person refuses to engage, lies, or deflects […]
The post #166: What to Do When Your Spouse Refuses to Be Honest appeared first on Secure Marriage.
So… it’s 2022 and your marriage isn’t where you’d like it to be. You know it can be better, but […]
The post #165: Our New Roadmap To A Secure Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re like me (Paul), you learned the lesson not to inconvenience other people. That lesson got so ingrained into […]
The post #164: Is Being Inconvenienced A Moral Issue? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We understand if 2021 has been a hard year for you. So you can start 2022 with hope, Shannon and […]
The post #163: A Special Christmas Gift For You appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Several years ago, in the midst of one of our fights, Shannon and I discovered a way for both of […]
The post #162: A Tool That’s Guaranteed To Resolve Conflict Faster appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When things that are out of your control go horribly wrong and you find yourself frustrated, disappointed, and irritable, how […]
The post #161: How to Avoid Hurting Your Spouse When You’re Highly Stressed appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Has the holiday season become a season connected with disappointment and bitterness? Do times of love and connection too often […]
The post #160: How To Make The Holidays Less Miserable appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If the holidays are supposed to be times of joy and happiness, why do things too often melt down and […]
The post #159: How To Survive The Family Holidays appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s happened to all of us… You make a simple request to your husband or wife and they completely ignore […]
The post #158: Are You Unintentionally Ignoring Your Spouse’s Needs? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Let me just say upfront, this episode was my wife’s idea. I thought we had agreed we were going to […]
The post #157: What Our Bathroom Taught Us About Our Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re not familiar with the Pacific Northwest, starting in mid-October the clouds roll in and it becomes a grey, […]
The post #156: Is Your Spouse Suffering From SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Having a fun, easy marriage is possible when you’ve created healthy relationship habits. But how to create good habits and […]
The post #155: How To Create Healthy Relationship Habits appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For those of you whose marriage is struggling right now… We know you’ve spent months and/or years trying to make […]
The post #154: How to Grieve The Loss Of Your Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Shannon and I really want Secure Marriage to be something that’s way super helpful to you and your marriage. That’s […]
The post #153: Paul & I Need Your Help appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For those that don’t know it, Shannon is an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). We learned about this almost twelve years […]
The post #152: How Being A Highly Sensitive Person Affects Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For a lot of couples, talking about money causes fear, anxiety, and panic. Sometimes, these conversations (or avoidance of them) […]
The post #151: How To Bring Up The Topic Of Finances With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We’re just like you and hate having fights. In the past, I (Paul) admit to keeping things hidden from Shannon […]
The post #150: Are You Avoiding Conflict To Keep The Peace appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re introducing two concepts that have devastating consequences to any relationship—Skewed Memory […]
The post #149: Is Your Husband Constantly Spinning The Truth? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
There’s nothing more painful than getting your hopes up just to have them dashed against the jagged rocks of reality. […]
The post #148: Is Your Husband Not Fulfilling His Promises appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s happened again. We sat down to record one topic and our own dysfunctional stuff shows up while the tapes […]
The post #147: Today’s Episode Goes Horribly Wrong! appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Shannon has this annoying habit of constantly asking me questions no matter how big or small of a decision I’m […]
The post #146: Do Questions Feel Like Criticism appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How far can you go on with your marriage when your spouse keeps treating you unfairly? It is never easy […]
The post #145: How Do You Get Over Resentment Hurt and Neglect? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When men have strong feelings, it usually shows up as anger. Their team scores the winning touchdown… they’re fist bumping […]
The post #144: When Your Husband’s Disappointment Feels Like Anger appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Has it ever felt like you married the wrong person? That somehow the “right” person is out there waiting to […]
The post #143: Are You Married to Your Soulmate appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re going to pick on my wife for a little bit. Not […]
The post #142: The One Question Shannon HATES To Ask appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you find yourself stuck in tiny power struggles day-in-and-day-out? Do small decisions you have to make with your spouse […]
The post #141: How To Prevent Conflict 95% of the Time appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s one of the most common excuses husbands and wives use when their marriage is falling apart—” We just fell […]
The post #140: Why Do Married Couples Fall Out of Love? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s just sad that some people are led to believe that lying in any shape or form can turn out […]
The post #139: When Is It Okay to Lie to Your Spouse? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In most of our podcast episodes we talk about some random fight we’ve had within the last few days. In […]
The post #138: Some Unscheduled Conflict While Recording Our Podcast appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When was the last time you said or did something awful to your spouse because you are stressed out? If […]
The post #137: Why You Need to Manage Your Stress Better appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you feel like your spouse isn’t as engaged as they were before? Does it feel like they’re slowly drifting […]
The post #136: What to Do When You Love Your Spouse More Than They Love You appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In a recent survey, people were asked, “What makes you feel hopeless in your marriage?” Out of all the answers, […]
The post #135: Why Most People Feel Hopeless In Their Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Have you ever thought (or said to your spouse), “If I can’t get what I want, then you won’t get […]
The post #134: Can You Give Up What You Really Want for Your Spouse’s Happiness? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We hear the phrase “Unconventional Love” all the time, but do you really know what it means? More importantly, do […]
The post #133: The Real Meaning of Unconditional Love appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you find it hard to start a conversation with your spouse about the things that are slowly tearing your […]
The post #132: The Importance of Shared Values appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When your husband isn’t available emotionally, it’s tempting to turn to other empathetic men and share all of your marriage […]
The post #131: Wives—Stop Emotionally Bonding With Other Men appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you come home from work tired, it’s hard getting into a marriage mindset. You just want to sit down, […]
The post #130: Every Spouse Needs To Work Two Jobs appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Living with a narcissist is one of the most taxing and damaging thing that can happen to a spouse. It […]
The post #129: What To Do With A Narcissistic Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
There’s a thousand things that can make your marriage miserable. But at the top is one simple thing that I […]
The post #128: Is This Important Thing Missing From Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you struggle with anxiety, you already know it affects not just you but your spouse as well. Your ever-present […]
The post #127: How To Stop Being An Anxious Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
New jobs… Moving… Having a baby… We all go through season where things get a little stressful. Usually, instead of […]
The post #126: How To Be Your Best While In Survival Mode appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Okay men… you wife wants to feel special. She wants to know that you think about her, that you love […]
The post #125: This Is Why A Husband Should Celebrate His Wife appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’ve been married for any amount of time, you know that fights are gonna happen. But did you know […]
The post #124: How To Argue Without Being Defensive appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When your marriage is struggling, it’s easy to focus on the faults of your husband or wife. You believe that […]
The post #123: What Are YOU Doing To Make Your Marriage Better? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How do you talk about your husband or wife when they’re not around? Kindly? Harshly? In today’s episode of the […]
The post #122: Why You Should Correct In Private & Defend In Public appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Back in the dark ages (like 1995) marriages never had to argue over technology. Now, couples fight over too much […]
The post #121: What To Do When You Spouse Won’t Get Off Their Phone appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Working on your marriage should never be boring. Sitting for long hours listening to some guy telling you what’s wrong […]
The post #120: Join Us On Our First Marriage Cruise appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Admitting to your wife you were wrong is never easy. Yet, this is the unfortunate experience I’ve found myself in […]
The post #119: Paul Admits He Was Wrong (And Shannon Was Right!) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
A lot of husbands (and some wives) have never understood the connection between emotional and physical intimacy. They are genuinely […]
The post #118: Why Being Grumpy Usually Leads to Less Sex appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Like we’ve said many times… “We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we do have a secure marriage.” This last […]
The post #117: How We Resolved Our Most Recent Fight appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Every husband or wife has that “thing” they’d like to see changed in their spouse, believing it will make their […]
The post #116: What NOT To Do To Get Your Spouse To Change appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Does your husband or wife have that “thing” that drives you crazy, even though, you’d have to admit (reluctantly) it’s […]
The post #115: Accepting The Quirkiness Of Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Remember when dating was something that was fun and easy? Now, after a few years of being married, you probably […]
The post #114: Why Date Night Should Still Be A Big Deal appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We talk a lot about the importance of being selfless and serving your husband or wife on a daily basis. […]
The post #113: Does Selflessness Lead To Being Abused? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Friendship with your husband or wife is good. Compatibility with your spouse is nice. Physical attraction is exciting. But bonding […]
The post #112: Why Bonding With Your Spouse Is So Important appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When stress creeps into a marriage, one person usually pushes for connection while the other person usually withdraws, hoping to […]
The post #111: Are You The Pusher or Withdrawer In Your Marriage? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you know what your spouse has given up because he or she decided to be married to you? I […]
The post #110: Are You Willing To Sacrifice For Your Spouse? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For decades, women have been stereotyped (often unfairly) as moody and grumpy during their time-of-the-month. And yet, there’s always a […]
The post #109: How To Handle Your Wife’s Monthly Mood Swings appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Has your wife ever said, “You don’t understand me” or, ” You just don’t care? If that’s you (and it […]
The post #108: How Men Can Develop More Empathy appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For marriage to work, you have to listen to the needs of your spouse and be willing to give up […]
The post #107: What To Do When Your Husband Refuses To Compromise appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Lying. If it’s done once, it’s easier to forgive. If it becomes a pattern, it will destroy trust and any […]
The post #106: What To Do If Your Husband Keeps Lying appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Fighting is never easy. But apologizing is even harder. Admitting you’re wrong, listening to the feelings of your spouse, empathizing, […]
The post #105: Why It’s Hard to Apologize After A Fight appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Let’s be honest… your spouse probably isn’t happy and pleasant to be around 24/7. If your spouse happens to be […]
The post #104: What to do With a Moody Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your marriage has been struggling for awhile, you may not know the first steps you need to take to […]
The post #103: Where Does Reconciliation Begin appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Few things are as painful as being married to a husband who insists nothing’s wrong and he doesn’t need to […]
The post #102: What to do When Your Husband Refuses to Get Help appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Sometimes the person you marry isn’t always welcomed into the family. There may be snide comments, back-handed insults, or even […]
The post #101: Should you defend your wife against insults from your family? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s took us a little while, but we’ve finally made it to our 100th episode! This podcast has been one […]
The post #100: Our 100th Episode (and a cool giveaway)! appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It’s the little things that make or break a marriage… like chores. Ironically, it’s not about the chores. It’s about […]
The post #99: Who Should Do More Chores: Husband or Wife? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Even though they can drive you crazy at times, children can be a blessing in your marriage. But what happens […]
The post #98: What To Do When You Disagree on Having More Kids appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your marriage has been a struggle, you may find ourself sitting in marital remorse (it’s sort of like buyer’s […]
The post #97: Does Your Marriage Suffer From Marital Remorse? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
So, your husband or wife says they want to lose some weight. Then you watch them make multiple trips into […]
The post #96: How To Hold Your Spouse Accountable To Losing Weight (Without Sounding Critical) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
(Shannon wanted an entire episode all about her, but she didn’t want to admit it, so this is what we […]
The post BONUS EPISODE: How Shannon Has Been Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving Her Goals appeared first on Secure Marriage.
For many marriages, traveling usually causes conflict and fights. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, listen in as […]
The post #95: How To Go 27 Hours In A Two-Seater Car With NO Arguments appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Having your spouse angry at you is hard enough. When it happens in public or in front of family or […]
The post #94: What To Do When You Feel Embarrassed By Your Spouse’s Anger appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Believe it or not, and despite our best efforts, some people have told us they really don’t like our podcast. […]
The post #93: Why Some People Don’t Like Our Podcast appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you’re in a difficult marriage, one of the hardest decisions you face is whether to separate to continue to […]
The post #92: When Should A Couple Consider Separation appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Fighting with your husband or wife is hard enough. But when they threaten you with divorce, your survival brain kicks […]
The post #91: What To Do When Your Spouse Keeps Threatening Divorce appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When something goes wrong for your spouse, do you feel yourself bracing because you know it’s just a matter of […]
The post #90: What To Do When You Feel Blamed All The Time appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you’re hurt, finding forgiveness isn’t always easy. You want your husband or wife to admit they were wrong, that […]
The post #89: Why It’s So Hard To Forgive Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Have you ever wanted to do something really badly but your spouse wasn’t on board? For many couples, this can […]
The post #88: What To Do When Your Dreams Make Your Spouse Nervous appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Despite being a trained professional counselor with years of experience helping couples fix their marriages, last Saturday, Shannon and I […]
The post #87: How One Misinterpreted Text Led To Our HUGE Fight appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Keeping secrets from your spouse rarely turns out well… especially when it concerns meeting up with your ex when your […]
The post #86: What To Do When Your Spouse Secretly Has Lunch With Their Ex appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Every couple fights. So when do those fights cross the line and become emotionally abusive? Or, if you know they’ve […]
The post #85: What To Do If You’re In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Very few things are as devastating as hearing your husband or wife wants to end the marriage. What do you […]
The post #84: Your Spouse Wants To End The Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
You may not know this, but for a lot of couples, sex is pretty important (insert sarcastic look here). And […]
The post #83: Dealing With Sexless Marriages appeared first on Secure Marriage.
You hear people say all the time “I’ve fallen out of love”. Worse yet, they use that reason to end […]
The post #82: What To Do If You’ve “Fallen Out Of Love” appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Sometimes, your spouse just bugs the crap out of you. Everything they do frustrates or disappoints you and it’s nearly […]
The post #81: How To Change Your Negative Attitude Toward Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’ve been married for any amount of time, you know that the “feelings” can start to fade and things […]
The post #80: What To Do When You Crave Something New In Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Once you get married, should you do everything together? How can you keep your individualism while still being married? CAN […]
The post #79: Is Doing Something Without Your Spouse Wrong? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Chores are one of the most common things couples fight over. What can complicate the debate is when a wife […]
The post #78: Who Does The Chores When Your Wife Starts Working From Home? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Gentlemen. If you want your wife to be happier, more attracted to you, and have less fight, you only have […]
The post #77: Husbands—Start Improving Yourselves appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you want to fight less with your husband or wife? You need to learn how to develop empathy. Do […]
The post #76: How To Become An Empathetic Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The other day I posted a question on a Facebook Marriage Group asking, “What’s the one thing you wish you […]
The post #75: The Number One Thing To Look For In A Husband or Wife appeared first on Secure Marriage.
This episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast is just a personal update letting you know how Shannon and I are […]
The post #74: How COVID-19 Is Affecting Our Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your husband or wife has cheated on you, you want to avoid getting hurt and make sure that never […]
The post #73: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Talking about feelings can feel awkward and uncomfortable for two main reasons. First, you might be that task-oriented person who […]
The post #72: A Better Way To Talk About Feelings appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you know the primary need of your husband or wife? Did you even know that women have a primary […]
The post #71: Understanding Your Spouse’s Primary Need appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When your husband or wife wants to try something new, it can rock the relationship boat. Things can feel uncomfortable, […]
The post #70: How To Support Your Spouse When They’re Trying Something New appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Shannon and I just got back from celebrating her parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary in Southern California. She threw them a […]
The post #69: What Will People Say About Your Marriage At Your 50th Anniversary Party appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We know at some point, you and your spouse couldn’t agree on some major decision and it’s ended up in […]
The post #68: How To Make Big Decisions Together appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Imagine how your marriage would change if, later today, your husband or wife stopped you in the kitchen and asked […]
The post #67: Why You Need To Ask, “How Can I Be A Better Husband or Wife?” appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When your husband or wife says they’ll do something and then they drop the ball and don’t follow through, doubt […]
The post #66: Practical Ways To Rebuild Trust In Your Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Wouldn’t it be nice to stop wasting time and finally get down to the REAL issues in your marriage? We […]
The post #65: Why You Should Bring Your BFF Into Your Marriage (It’s NOT what you think) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Driving home from work the other day, I came up with a super simple technique that makes communicating with your […]
The post #64: How “Captain Obvious” Can Save Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re like us, whenever your husband or wife is hurting because of something they’ve done to themselves, it’s… (how […]
The post #63: How Relentless Empathy is Guaranteed to Improve ANY Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Everyone knows, as a married couple you need to know how to resolve conflict. But wouldn’t it be better to […]
The post #62: How to Stop 90% of Your Fights Before They Even Get Started appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re the one who ALWAYS has to go first because your husband or wife won’t initiate, it’s easy to […]
The post #61: Tired of Being The One Who Always Goes First? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The holiday season isn’t always the easiest, especially when it involves extended family. Old conflicts… Unresolved tensions… Unspoken expectations… all […]
The post #60: 8 Essential Tips To Survive the Family Holidays appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Admit it. If your spouse changed that one-little-thing about them, you’d probably be a lot happier. Right? Everyone wants to […]
The post #59: How To Show Your Spouse You Love Them By Taking Responsibility For Your Crap appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Sex can become frustrating when it feels like you’re not wanted by your spouse. If you’re not careful, it can […]
The post #58: What To Do When Your Spouse Won’t Initiate Sex appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What if you had to do just one thing to GUARANTEE you’ll have an awesome marriage? Sound too good to […]
The post #57: The Magic Question That’s Guaranteed To Change Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your sex life has been a struggle in your marriage, sexual shame may have something to do with it. […]
The post #56: How to Overcome Sexual Shame in Your Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If sex has gotten boring and… uneventful in your relationship, but you’re not sure how to bring it up with […]
The post #55: How To Talk About Sex With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your spouse is suffering from any type of illness—physical or emotional—it can be taxing on a marriage. It’s easy […]
The post #54: How To Support Your Spouse When They’re Totally Messed Up appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Are you a wife that’s feeling lonely and less-than-important because your husband gives all of his attention to work and […]
The post #53: What To Do When Your Husband Works Too Much appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The way you communicate with your husband or wife will determine is you have a happy marriage or a frustrating […]
The post #52: 5 Communication Styles That Are Guaranteed To Destroy Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If your marriage is struggling because of bad communication, you’re not alone. Most relationships are frustrating and disappointing, not because […]
The post #51: Four Tips For Effective Communication With Your Husband or Wife appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Does it drive you crazy when your husband or wife offers suggestions or offers you their opinion on how you should do something? This simple but very powerful relationship dynamic can quickly create major tensions and blow ups in a marriage.
The post #50: Why Telling Your Spouse What To Do Can Potentially Hurt Their Feelings appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Back in the old days (like 2 years ago), when Shannon and I would fight, we’d go from talking about […]
The post #49: The Magic Technique We Use To Stay Emotionally Connected During A Fight appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Does your marriage feel stale, boring, or overall disappointing? If so, there’s a good chance you’ve been ignoring the little […]
The post #48: Why The Little Things In Marriage Are So Important appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When your marriage has been struggling for a while, it’s easy to start wondering if it will ever get better. […]
The post #47: How To Know If Your Marriage Is Worth Saving appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you’re like us, life’s busy. We understand why it’s harder to find times to truly connect with your husband […]
The post #46: How To Stop Feeling Like Just Roommates appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What is the deepest fear that you have about yourself? Have you ever shared that with your spouse? Being that […]
The post #45: We Talk Openly About Our Core Fears appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What’s my most shameful mistake as a husband? This is the podcast episode I’ve been dreading to record. BUT I […]
The post #44: How Things Can Get Better Even If You’re Marriage Is Off To A Rocky Start appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Are you always trying to change your spouse’s emotional state, spending hours and hours of energy trying to fix them? […]
The post #43: How Do You Know If You’re In a Codependent Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Divorce is expensive. Really expensive. Unfortunately, sometimes you won’t even know the full cost of the experience until years later. […]
The post #42: How Much A Divorce Will Actually Cost You appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Do you know what you should be avoiding when looking for your future spouse? Most people don’t so they base […]
The post #41: Relationship Red Flags When Looking For A Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How many times have you asked yourself, “Is this person ‘the one’?” Is there actually a failsafe way to figure […]
The post #40: How Do You Know You’ve Found “The One” appeared first on Secure Marriage.
One of the most dangerous and toxic things you can do to your spouse and your marriage is use name-calling […]
The post #39: Why You Should Never Use Name-Calling In Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We’re asked all the time, “How’d you guys meet.” In today’s episode, you’ll find out. You’ll find out the things […]
The post #38: The Story of How We Met appeared first on Secure Marriage.
“How can I share my hurt feelings with my spouse without causing him to become defensive?” This question taps into […]
The post #37: Three Ways To Reduce Defensiveness In Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
What does it feel like to have your spouse listen to your feelings without trying to fix you or tell […]
The post #36: The Magical Power Of Empathy appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we tackle the painful subject of infidelity in a marriage and how […]
The post #35: How To Start Moving Forward After An Affair appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Correcting your spouse… always pointing out what they’ve done or said is wrong… is one of the best ways to […]
The post #34: How To Reduce Defensiveness In Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
No matter how long you’ve been married to your husband or wife, there’s still new stuff you can learn about […]
The post #33: How To Become A Better Student Of Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
If you want to learn how to communicate better with your husband or wife, you’re going to want to get […]
The post #32: The Secure Marriage Online Workshop (Revised) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The Five Love Languages have become a staple of all good marriage educational programs. Originally a book written by Gary […]
The post #31: The Five Love Languages appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Unspoken expectations are cancerous to any marriage. Whenever you want your spouse to do something your way and on your […]
The post #30: Why Unspoken Expectations Will Screw Up Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Since moving to Portland, Oregon, Shannon has struggled with the winter weather. At first, we thought is was going to […]
The post #29: How To Help Your Struggling Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It can be very difficult to allow your spouse to take care of you when you are sick or injured. […]
The post #28: How To Gracefully Receive Help From Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you allow negative thoughts about your spouse to occupy your mind it has a negative impact on your marriage. […]
The post #27: Why Negative Thoughts About Your Spouse Ruin Your Relationship appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Sometimes, you end up in a fight with your wife when it’s the highly inconvenient. For us a few weeks […]
The post #26: Why We Ditched Church To Go Have A Fight appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Let’s admit it. Everyone has those little things you want to change about your spouse. It’s a normal part of […]
The post #25: How To Get Your Spouse To Change appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In this week’s episode, we’re trying something a little different as we talk with Jon Furman, pastor at Beaverton Christian […]
The post #24: How You Can Turn Off Your Survival Brain appeared first on Secure Marriage.
So,,, it’s one thing to be wrong. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to be wrong while I’m recording a podcast […]
The post #23: How Much It Sucks Admitting I’m Wrong To My Wife (But How Unbelievably Important It Is) appeared first on Secure Marriage.
There are lots of things that should be talked about before you get married. This week we talk about three […]
The post #22: 3 Essential Things To Look For Before You Even Think About Getting Married appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We believe everyone should get some sort of counseling before they get married. Traditionally, that’s been pre-marital counseling, but in […]
The post #21: Pre-Marital vs. Pre-Engagement Counseling appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In this episode, Paul and I give 4 tips for for managing the stress that can happen when trying to […]
The post #20: How To Handle Extended Family During The Holidays appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In this weeks episode, Paul and Shannon work though one of the recurring themes in their marriage, disagreeing with the […]
The post #19: What To Do When You Disagree On The Facts Of A Situation appeared first on Secure Marriage.
A Secure Marriage is knowing that your spouse is committed to you no for the long haul, that they are […]
The post #18: Why Happiness Is A By-product Of A Secure Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Most couples, when getting married, have the expectation that marriage is going to be all sunshine and roses. In other […]
The post #17: Why Is There No Test Given Before You Get Married? appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The most common question we get at workshops is, “How do we improve communication?” In this episode, we talk about […]
The post #16: Our Favorite Tool To Improve Communication With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We’re on the road for this podcast episode so Shannon can run her first 10 mile Tough Mudder up in […]
The post #15: Shannon’s Tough Mudder appeared first on Secure Marriage.
It's not enough to just be married to your spouse. It's essential to be friends with them as well. A friendship that grow stronger and more intimate is the things that will help you feel more connected and make it easier to endure the normal disagreements that come along.
The post #14: What It’s Like To Be Best Friends With Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Being a highly sensitive person (HSP) is not easy. In this episode, Shannon talks about what’s it’s like to be […]
The post #13: What To Do When Your Spouse Is A Highly Sensitive Person appeared first on Secure Marriage.
When you think you’re doing more of the day-to-day stuff, it’s easy to get resentful and start accusing your spouse […]
The post #12: What To Do When You Think Your Spouse Is Being Lazy appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Sometimes, the helpful ideas your spouse offers can be perceived as critical, corrective, or controlling. In this episode, we look at how to shift your mindset so you're not constantly fighting whenever your spouse wants to contribute their thoughts or feelings.
The post #11: What To Do When Your Helpful Ideas Are Taken As Criticism appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Depression is never easy. When your spouse is having a hard time simply being happy there are things you can do to help them get through the experience.
The post #10: What to do When Your Spouse Is Struggling With Depression appeared first on Secure Marriage.
We all get wronged now and then, but we don't always have the ability to get justice. In this episode, we're talking about this exact situation in our life and how we've decided to deal with it.
The post #9: What to do When You’ve Been Wronged and You’re Having A Hard Time Letting it go. appeared first on Secure Marriage.
In the last 2 months, we've had two neighbors die unexpectedly. These men were relatively young, and this has made Shannon think about what she would do if Paul were to pass away without warning.
The post #8: How Mad Shannon Will Be If Paul Dies Unexpetedly appeared first on Secure Marriage.
How you say things to your spouse is just as important as what you say. Paying attention to your tone […]
The post #7: Why Speaking Harshly to Your Spouse is Toxic to Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
Music in this episode is provided by PurplePlanet.com
The post #6: Correcting & Criticism—The Two Things Proven To Ruin Your Marriage appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The post #5: How Improving Yourself Encourages Your Spouse appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The post #4: What To Do When You Think Your Spouse Has Forgotten Something appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The post #3: What To Do When You And Your Spouse Disagree On What To Get appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The post #2: What To Do When Your Husband Is Yelling At Traffic appeared first on Secure Marriage.
The post #1: What To Do When Your Wife Is Hurt And Hiding In The Other Room appeared first on Secure Marriage.