The Hummingbird: Recent Episodes
Mfon Bassey
Life is really beautiful and even more so when we approach it with zest and enthusiasm. I'll be sharing life experiences and lessons, some of my personal journal on "my journey to becoming." Each content accurately reflects my life, perspectives and views; a dose of positivity in each episode. I'm a vibe, I promise. I really hope you find something of yourselves somewhere in the midst of all our conversations and stories. Life can be hard sometimes, I know and I have been there but just like a hummingbird reaches beyond the toughest and untasty parts of flowers to find that sweet nectar within, I want to constantly remind you of the beauty and sweetness we are surrounded with even in the most unlikely places or scenarios. You are not alone.
Lasting relationships require intentional effort and commitment. Our love languages help us express the way we feel loved and appreciated. Learning and understanding your love language and your partner's helps to strengthen the bond in a relationship. Each love language is unique and important in its own way. Our love language differs from our partner's depending on our individual personality type. Understanding and decoding your partner's love language will help you to meet their expectations and needs. Understand your love language and find ways to communicate it to your partner. One of our aspirations as human beings is to feel a sense of value and to feel appreciated. When we feel loved, valued and appreciated, this in turn rubs off on our overall productivity. We tend to attract positive things and forge healthy and more productive relationships.
A Hummingbird Special Podcast in memory of my late dad. Losing a loved one is a very devastating experience and I feel there's no manual to coping with grief. You just have to sit with it and allow yourself to fully experience these feelings and react in ways that help you process and release these intense emotions. Sometimes, it feels like the pain will never end but as hard as it may seem, you would deliberately and consciously just have to find ways to adjust to life without the person you lost. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. My dad was my biggest cheerleader and I'm very sure, he is still rooting for me wherever he is. "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Dear Dad, in life I loved you, in death I love you still.
The people we meet in our life sojourn have a specific role to play in our lives. To teach us lessons that we need to learn in order to evolve and grow as humans. Pain they say, is a teacher. Your ex doesn't always have to be the villain(well except for cases of abuse). They are wonderful people in themselves because at some point, we shared a beautiful part of our life with them - the pleasant memories and the support system. The problem here is that most people do not come to terms with the fact that nothing is permanent in this life. Human love is frail. Somethings aren't just meant to be and it requires a mental upgrade to understand that we probably have different directions in life. The mistake most people make after a break up especially one that was painful is that, we refuse to take time to heal. I know it may seem difficult to let go of a relationship where you may have invested so much of your self, energy and time in, to no avail, but what's even worse is going into a new relationship with old baggages. You shouldn't go into new relationships with old wounds so you don't bleed on the people who didn't even hurt you. I feel if you haven't completely healed, then you don't have any business being in a relationship. Relationships are not rehabilitation centers. Learn to appreciate the single life and enjoy yourself while at it so you can add value in subsequent relationships and partnerships going forward. Remember, time heals. Be grateful for the lessons and have also the courage to enjoy newness in its entirety and wholeness. Try not to dilute the new, with the savour of the old. Take your time to heal, forgive yourself and move on.
Sexual consent is a very crucial subject in our society today. It is quite unfortunate, that our society has become so morally bankrupt and decadent that pure and genuine relationships, void of sexual intimacy between the male and female is more or less becoming extinct in our generation. As adults, we should be able to let our intentions clear from the get go. Maintaining healthy, open and honest conversations would go a long way in curbing these situations that play out because communication is very sacrosanct in human relationships. One should not assume that once a girl accepts to come over to a man's house, then it expressly implies sexual consent
To be on the safe side, regardless of the signals you receive from a lady, never assume she is interested in your sex organ. That is the reason I reiterate, maintain healthy, open and honest conversations. To the men, let your intentions be known from the outset. The ball is in her court. And to the ladies, set healthy boundaries and be firm with your stance. If it is really necessary to meet with a male friend, then insist on meeting outdoors. "Wisdom is profitable to direct."
When someone assumes something or asserts a claim based on one part of your identity, that is in fact "Stereotype." Stereotypes take on many forms. It is a cognitive aspect in our perceptions of people, communities or regions whether positive or negative. If you walk into a store to purchase a dress or shirt, once payment has been made by the owner, she automatically gets rid of the label/tag and goes ahead to rock the dress in whatever style suits her; the dress no longer belongs to the boutique. As humans, we should learn to get past these beliefs and react to people more on the basis of his/her individual character rather than the skin colour, gender, religion, age or ethnic background. Stereotypes have a way of triggering or affecting our actions towards people or persons from a particular sect. We take one experience or ordeal or a small idea and try to extrapolate the idea around it to assert a broad claim over a larger population without adequate evidence. Discrimination and prejudice becomes a major societal problem because these stereotypes subtly encourage it within our niches. We need to let go, of every preconceived image or idea we have of people and just relate with them on an individual level...
A Podcast by Mfon Bassey. No individual should be judged on the basis of his/her grip on English Language. A person should not be made to be feel any less or inferior because of his/her accent as long as they are able to communicate and be understood effectively in English.
"Commitment is an act, and not a word." - Sartre. I often wonder, why are the simplest things the most difficult to truly see/understand?
A podcast by Mfon Bassey: Lifestyle and Culture segment. Over time Nigerian music has evolved and grown into a major driving force in projecting African entertainment. We've seen and heard different artistes during this transition. Is there still room for improvement or do we settle for the current trend of whatever suits the market/industry?
..."God's mercy is so great that you may sooner drain the sea of its water, or deprive the sun of its light, or make space too narrow, than diminish the great mercy of God" - C. H. Spurgeon.
Few days ago, I went out to a supermarket to buy some essentials. Before I left the house, I counted the money in my hand specifically to fit my bills completely. Unfortunately, the world is faced with this pandemic so we have been urged to adhere to certain guidelines whenever we wish to go out so despite the fact that the supermarket was just a stone throw from my house, I still had to go out with my facemask. I had gotten to the shop, unbeknownst to me, while I tried to adjust the facemask, a hundred naira note had fallen to the ground. On getting to the shop, I decided to check and realized my money wasn't complete. Immediately, I got frantic. I was worried, like, "Where could it have been?" I retreated my steps with no thoughts of going back into the shop, until I found the missing hundred naira note. I didn't care if people were looking as I was peering at the ground outside of the shop. "Eureka!" I found it and heaving a sigh of relief came as a reflex. Many of us are familiar with this story in one way or the other, missing something and finding it once again. Likewise, we are familiar with Jesus' parable of "The Lost sheep" and "The lost coin."
So if human beings could get so worried and frantic over loosing priced possessions or even the smallest thing like a hundred naira note, then how much more our Father in heaven? Beloved, he counts you priceless and worthy of His love, He chose you be before the foundations of the earth for salvation. Jesus Christ is God's love letter to us. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16. If one is saved, it is not because of your efforts, it is not because you sought after God, but because God sought after you and kept seeking until He rescued you out of darkness David prayed in Psalm 119:76, "I have strayed like a lost sheep, Search for your servant, for I have not forgotten your commandments."
And it is also written, "I myself will search for my sheep and I will care for them. I will care for my sheep like a shepherd who has found His scattered sheep and is feeding them. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered." - Ezekiel 34:11-12. So it is in your place to acknowledge that you are lost, in need of saving, it is in your place to have that longing to return to the fold. The sheep would have fled to the fold at the sight of danger, if only it knew Its way home, don't you think so? When God finds lost sinners, He keeps them safely. He puts it securely on His shoulders and carries it home. As you can see how careful I got when I had retrieved the previously missing hundred naira note; I held it tightly than ever. When we lose something and find it once more, we come to know its value. John 10:38 says, "I give eternal life to them, and they shall never perish; and no one shall snatch them out of my hand." When the shepherd finds the Lost sheep, He doesn't take out a whip and drive it back to the fold. He carries it tenderly and securely, searching for any signs of wounds that need to be tended to, making sure He is okay yet ensuring it "You are safe with me." The fact is that you are not secure on your salvation because of your grip on Jesus Christ, but rather because of His grip on you.
So, all we like sheep have gone astray at some point in our lives. People are weighed down by the cares of this world, troubles, challenges anxiety, depression, we have found ourselves in hopeless conditions, deeply hurt by friends, family, others are plagued with guilt over past mistakes. But the good news is, the good Shepherd would not leave His sheepfold on their own to fend for themselves while He is gone, would He? Likewise, God gives the new creation His Holy Spit to guide them aright. Lest I forget, notice how relieved I was when I found the missing money, I was grinning from ear to ear matter of fact. Luke 15:7, "I say to you that likewise, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety nine just persons who need no repentance." The parable of the prodigal son is also an integral part of the message of salvation. Jesus Christ did not come to call the righteous but to call sinners to repentance. When a sinner turns from His sins and repents, God gets all the glory. The angels revel in God's glory and so they join in celebration and God is glorified in His sovereign grace. He gets the glory. All these parables are perfect descriptions of God's compassion, mercy and all encompassing love. His love is not stereotypical. He loves us individually. The message shows God's concern and compassion for sinners, not sinners en masse but individual sinners; as you can see, the shepherd goes after one sheep, the woman goes after one coin all points to one thing, God visits us personally... So whatever it is you're struggling with, God will meet you at your point of need. God goes through great effort in seeking the lost. If you have ever felt alone and rejected, you only need to remember that you are precious in His eyes. If you have ever felt like a loser or a failure, remember how special you are in His eyes to risk it all just for you. If you have ever felt less beautiful or good looking, remember He loved you so much to go in search of you. If you have ever felt like you are worth nothing at all, remember He thought you priceless enough to leave the ninety nine just so he could find you. Hey priceless, you are a wonderful part of God's creation. If you will draw near to God and listen to Him, you will understand what it means to to sing "Amazing Grace." Beloved, there is a feast waiting for you.
"She invited herself back to the woman God created her to be" -Anonymous
You might wanna put your headphones on.
Too often we feel that we need to have everything planned out or figured out before we make a move on our dreams. We worry that we may fail or we wouldn't be good enough, and other times we worry about people's perceptions of us, we are afraid of rejection. According to Martin Luther King Jr, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." So yes friend, you can take the first step staggering, shaking, falling but take it anyway. You wonder why we call it "baby steps." - When a baby is born, she doesn't start out walking and talking. She starts in the cradle, in the stroller, laying on her back, dependent for support. As months go by, she eventually learns how to sit; even though she may fall flat on her face at first, but she sits anyway until she masters the art. In time, she learns to crawl but her parents don't let her get too comfortable crawling. She needs to stand and walk on her own. So she goes on to stand although it's not easy at first. The parents have to hold her hand for support, sometimes, she holds on to the tables, the chairs and whatever she can grasp to find her footing. Once she's able to stand, she's on to the next one. She takes her first baby steps subsequently, albeit staggering, she takes it anyway. And oh the joy, as her parents wrap her in a warm hug. Fast forward to two or three years later, she walks with confidence, with or without the support and eventually she starts running. Notice when a baby is learning to walk, it's in phases, so also is life. And don't forget there's always a bait, a catch. Either a toy or a teddy that is stretched farther from her reach or her parents waiting for her in the distance, arms outstretched, willing her in, to reach towards them for a warm hug or loving kisses. So it is with life. When you take the first steps, there's always a vision ahead; a goal in sight. Thus you need to work towards it with all the energy, strength, confidence, resources and faith you can garner, the ultimate price in view, finding your footing as you go, finding your purpose in God. You can start afraid, you can do it afraid, but with time, you'll find all the faith and confidence you need if you do not waver in pursuing those goals. Each day, you move closer to seeing it all come together. The best journeys taken aren't always planned out from the start to finish. Even the best chapters in a book don't have titles until later. Just like the baby falls and cries and gets up to walk still, the journey may take unexpected twists and turns, with highs and lows, and bumps and pitfalls. They may even take longer than we think. All these will happen along the way to teach us and mould us into what we are purposed to be. But if you don't faint, you will reach the goal. You know ideas are like conception. The inception of an idea can be likened to the conception of a baby. The foetus stays in the womb feeding off of the mother for nine months through the umblical cord. It forms and grows through different stages and tremesters pf pregnancy until the point of childbirth. So also, certain actions need to be taken to sustain an idea, a dream, for the birth of those ideas and to bring them into fruition.
So whenever you find yourself at the foot of the path, do not fret, do not worry about what lies ahead. Just take it anyway. Always remember that God has a plan for you so look to Him as a loving Father for the support that you need.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Start moving, even though you may be blabbering like a baby or stuttering, stagger, cry, fall even but don't stay on the ground for too long. In time you'll find your footing. Hold the rails until you can walk the stairs without them.
"Of all the roads she travelled, the journey back to herself was the most magnificent" -Anonymous.
Napoleon Hill once said and I quote, "Our only limitations are the ones we set up in our mind" Most of us refuse to take that first step just because we can't see the whole stairs. We are afraid to lift the other foot lest we fall. In the literal sense, we are afraid to make that move because we don't want to fail. You see, the limitation is in the mind.
Now when we think of asking, we need to make sure our request is in line with God's purpose for us. Ensure that your petition is aligned with God's will for your life. Refer to Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Sometimes the reason we don't get the things we want is because we don't need it. We are not to expect that God will give us everything that we choose to ask for. We know that sometimes we ask and we do not receive because we ask amiss. If we ask for that which is not promised(contrary to God's will for us), if we run contrary to the spirit(which is to be cultivated), or if we ask merely for the gratification of self without an eye to His glory, then we shouldn't expect that we would receive. Yet, if we ask in faith, nothing doubting, if we don't receive the precise thing, we shall surely receive some of greater value; we shall receive something more than the equivalent of what we asked for. God a loving Father who would not deny His children good gifts. He gives us what we need and not merely what we want. Personally, I have asked God for things often that I don't end up receiving. This doesn't mean God doesn't love or care for me or you. Albeit I would be lying if I said I haven't been disappointed but it's worthy to note that sometimes when we are being rejected or we don't get the things we want at that point, it's actually God redirecting us to the things we need, the things that really matter. So if God doesn't give you precisely what you ask for, He will give you something more valuable than the thing thereof.The more reason we have to make gratitude a lifestyle, so we don't miss out on the amazing things just because they are not presented or packaged in a certain way. The emphasis is on asking right. Take heed what you ask for. This episode will be continued on our next session.
Hey guys, welcome to my first podcast episode. I'm a bit new to this asides the fact that it feels like I'm having my normal, daily conversations so stay with me as we grow and journey together. I'm learning and exploring new ways of becoming and being; in so doing feeling a sense of purpose as I dive inside the depth of all the creativity laying inside of me. I have realized that the only thing that keeps us and limits us from stretching as far as we are capable of going, from growing is the mind. For a very long time I've been so afraid, afraid of leaving my comfort zone, afraid of pushing myself, afraid of what people may think, of what people would say that I pushed back my dreams. But with time I learnt that sometimes you just have to do you, and everyone would adjust. You wouldn't go far if all you do is think about how people would perceive you or worry about if they'd like you. We have to toughen up when it comes to facing rejection. I'm doing all the things I'm passionate about and just having fun, taking it a day at a time, taking baby steps... Not for the laud, but for me. Just because I can.