Unlearning Patterns: Recent Episodes
Charlotte and Thony
Join us on our journey of unlearning patterns from the past to the present. We will be sharing our stories as a couple and individuals in this process of unlearning and letting go. We hope this podcast can help support you as you start to unlearn patterns and rediscover yourself.
Today's episode features a very influential person in Thony's life. His teacher, coach, mentor, friend and like an older brother, Koua Yang. Koua shared his story of becoming an educator and the different barriers he broke out of. You'll hear his passion for working with students and how he cultivates different networks and circles to support his evolving self.
Back in March and April, we spoke with the students at UW-EC and University of St. Thomas about vulnerability; how you can use it as a tool to connect and lead. We reflected on the lessons we learn while creating the workshop and how our presentation went. It was an unforgettable experience!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Today's guest is the creator of the Healing Timelines Project, Jouapag Lee! The Healing Timelines Project offers trauma-informed resources to help Hmong descendants overcome multi-generational patterns and thrive.
Jouapag helped us understand generational and historical trauma and how it can be passed on. We also talked how you can break the cycle for generations to come.
CONNECT WITH JOUAPAG
https://www.instagram.com/healingtimelinesproject
UNLEARNING PATTERNS LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Hi Pattern Breakers! Today we are sharing our proposal story and we answered a few questions received from our listeners. We’re excited for this new journey and are looking forward to sharing the lessons and patterns we learn and unlearn through it all. Thank you for all the love and support, we truly appreciate it!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and we are starting it with the topic of anxiety. Pa Chee Lee is the owner of PCL Therapy and we invited her on this episode to help us understand anxiety. Pa Chee shares the different types of anxiety, coping skills, resources and advice for anyone who is supporting someone or personally experiences anxiety.
Thank you again to Pa Chee for sharing her knowledge with us and our listeners! Stay tuned for a future episode with Pa Chee where she will be helping us understand depression.If you reside in Wisconsin and are interested in working with Pa Chee, please visit: https://pcltherapy.com
CONNECT WITH PA CHEE
https://linktr.ee/pcltherapy
UNLEARNING PATTERNS LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
A few months back, we asked you to submit any questions you may have about therapy. Today we are giving you those answers!Pam Yang is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, and she sat down with us to give you the basics of therapy. We touched on insurance, the intake process, receiving a diagnosis, what to look for in a therapist, when to go to therapy, and more!! This is only episode one of a three-part series. Stay tuned! đź¤If you have a question you’d like us to ask Pam in our next episodes, feel free to send it to us! Let's help you find the answers you need about mental health and therapy.
Work with Pam: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/pam-yang-wausau-wi/1164730
Project Resiliency’s Warming Line: 1-800-293-7090
Hmong Mental Health Directory: http://en-vpon51d.edirectorycloud.com/listing/southeast-asian-hmong-mh-directory/p:3Thank you to Guerrilla Pastures for sponsoring our podcast. Don't forget to use code "UPP10" for 10% off your order. See their links below!GUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapasturesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPasturesUNLEARNING PATTERNS LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
This episode is for all the eldest daughters!! We see you and we thank you for your service 🫡Today’s conversation is with Ariel Her, who is also the host is the amazing new podcast, Hmong Womxn Thriving 💖 Go follow her podcast now! She’s a big sis and if you follow Ariel online, you know she’s been intentional about her self-love journey. In this episode, Ariel shared stories of nurturing the eldest daughter within in and healing her inner child. There are so many nuances when it comes to the healing journey and we appreciated the vulnerability Ariel brought to this conversation.
FIND ARIEL & HER PODCAST HERE:
https://linktr.ee/hmongwomxnthriving
Thank you to Guerrilla Pastures for sponsoring our podcast. Don't forget to use code "UPP10" for 10% off your order. See their links below!
GUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapasturesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Learning about our attachment styles has been a helpful tool to have in our relationship. We've been able to understand each other on a deeper level by having open and vulnerable conversations about how our attachment styles are affecting us during conflict or even day to day interactions. If you consider looking into your attachment style, we hope it helps you understand yourself or your loved ones also!
As always, thank you to Guerrilla Pastures for sponsoring our podcast. Don't forget to use code "UPP10" for 10% off your order. See their links below!ATTACHMENT STYLE RESOURCES1 - https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles2 - https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationshipUNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastGUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapasturesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures
In this episode, we had a conversation with Tia about her journey with sobriety and self-healing. We wanted to highlight Tia’s story because sobriety is an uncommon lifestyle and self-healing is not an easy task. But you don’t have to do it alone!We hope this episode gives you more insight into sobriety and can help you support and navigate interactions with those who are on their sobriety journey.We are also on our own sobriety journey and have hit one year recently! If you have any questions you’d like us to answer in a future episode about our sobriety, please feel free to comment below or send us a DM!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Tune in to hear Gregory share his journey of becoming an actor, creating modern shaman, and the importance of self-care. We hope this episode will leave you feeling inspired to chase after your dreams and to reframe self-care to work FOR you rather than against you. Big thanks for Greg for being on this podcast, we are looking forward to seeing you in Hells Canyon and all the amazing things you'll do after.Gregory is in the world premiere of Hells Canyon which kicked off on February 24 and will be shown through March 7 at Jungle Theater in Uptown, Minneapolis. Tickets are pay as you are. See the links below to learn more about Theater Mu and to get your tickets!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastGREG'S LINKSInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/greggrammars
Modern Shaman: https://www.instagram.com/modernshamanpilotTHEATER MUWebsite: https://www.theatermu.orgHells Canyon Tickets: https://www.theatermu.org/hells-canyon#gsc.tab=0
Tune in to hear Thony share his journey with grief after one year of his dad’s passing. He touches on how his perception of grief has evolved, how grief impacted his life/relationships, his coping mechanisms, and his advice for those who are experiencing loss.Grief can be a hard topic to talk about, but we hope this episode shines a light on the importance of grief and seeking for what you need. Whether that’s professional help or leaning on your community. You are not alone.
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
TRIGGER WARNING: conversations about suicidal thoughtsTune in to hear us reflect on our four years of dating! In this episode, we share the joy, challenges and cringy moments that has brought us to our fourth year. We also touch on the topic of marriage and how we’re navigating between two different perspectives. We hope you enjoy this episode!As we continue sharing details of our private life, we truly appreciate the respect and grace you’ve given us. We never think the way we navigate our relationship is the only way. We simply want to share in hopes that it’ll help others feel less alone. Take what resonates and leave the rest!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Happy New Year! Tune in to hear us chat about resolutions vs intentions, our values for 2024, and what experiences we hope to have. We are feeling hopeful in this new year! Wishing you all a year of joy, health & abundance! UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastGUERILLA PASTURES LINKSÂ Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.com/Â Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures/Â Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures/
It’s Charlotte’s turn to interview Thony! In this episode, Thony reflects on his favorite memories, what he wish his parents knew, and what he’s most proud of. We hope this episode gave you more insight to who Thony is!Do you have a question for Thony or the Unlearning Patterns couple? Feel free to send them to us, we’d love to hear from you!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastGUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures/
In this episode, Thony interviews Charlotte to help you get to know her more. Thony asks Charlotte to reflect on her childhood dream, a significant personal experience, music that resonates with her, and what does this podcast mean to her?We hope this episode gave you more insight to who Charlotte is. Stay tuned for Charlotte’s interview with Thony next week!Do you have a question for Charlotte or the Unlearning Patterns couple? Feel free to send them to us, we’d love to hear from you!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
GUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures/
This episode was recorded back in July 2023. This will be the last “outdated” episode we share. Tune in to hear us reflect on; Thony’s journey of grief, mental health, vulnerability and Charlotte’s journey of ending therapy/life coaching, and being honest about her struggles.After listening to this episode, it’s so clear how important asking for help and leaning on our community is. Healing on our own is needed but healing in community with others is so powerful. We are so grateful for everyone who has supported us in this last year.If you enjoyed this episode, please share and give us a review. Thank you for being here! ✨UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
In this episode, we reflect on what we're leaving behind in 2023. A few themes we touched on were limiting beliefs, grief, being away from family, and our overall growth. We also pulled a few cards to answer from the We're Not Really Strangers: self-reflection edition pack. This year has not been easy but it pushed us to question how true our self-talk has been. The journey is not linear but it always makes sense in the end. Cheers to surviving another year - now let's prepare to thrive, see you in 2024! Happy New Year!Apologies on the sound of this episode, we realized the volume of our voices were inconsistent. We will work on this for our upcoming episodes!UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
SURPRISE! We are back with new episodes :)This episode was recorded from April 2023. Although it’s pretty dated, we felt it was important to share as it shows our journey with therapy during a mentally challenging time. Listening to this episode gives us so much gratitude for all the past versions of us that got us to where we are today. And thank you to those who held us up when the days felt extra hard. You know who you are ❤️Join us as we try to destigmatize conversations about mental health and normalize therapy.Disclaimer: This new series is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition.UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Hello friends! We are starting a new series on our podcast called “Therapy Reflections” and this is the first of many episodes. Our biggest goal is to destigmatize conversations about mental health and that starts with us! Aside from our mental health check-ins on our regular episodes, we'd like to give our listeners an inside scoop of what happens in our therapy sessions. We'll share our learnings and answer any of your questions along the way.UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
In this episode, we reflected on 2022, our goals for 2023, and shared some life updates. We also answered a question we received from a listener. We're excited to be back and we hope you enjoyed this episode.
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
GUERILLA PASTURES LINKS
Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.com/Â
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures/
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures/
Discount code: UPP10Â
We are excited to welcome back our first returning guests on the podcast, Pheng and Barbara, from Guerrilla Pastures! In this episode, we had a conversation with Pheng and Barbara about what they’ve struggled with in their 20s, intentions for their 30s, making time for the different identities they hold, and areas of their lives that they want to focus on more. We also shared an amazing opportunity with Guerilla Pastures at the end of the episode! Head over to this episode to hear more about their passions and how you support their growing business.Use code "UPP10" to get 10% off your lip balm subscription!!GUERILLA PASTURES LINKS Website: https://www.guerrillapastures.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/GuerrillaPastures/UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKSFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastMusic Production: LAZYASSKID
In episode 24, Stephanie shared her stories about becoming a mom, postpartum depression, how she is seeking help, her identity outside of being a mom, the advice she has for parents and those who are part of their village. We hope this episode will help spark new conversations for you and your community. Don't be afraid to talk about mental health and the challenges of parenthood, ask for help, offer a helping hand when you have capacity, and check in with your loved ones. We should never have to go through life alone. STEPHANIE'S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS: Instagram: https://instagram.com/stephanybydesign Podcast: https://anchor.fm/thedailygloss
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
Back in June, we stayed at a Getaway location in MN. It was a much needed break from our routines. As we sat by the campfire, we decided to record a quick episode with a couple questions that Charlotte has been wanting to ask Thony. We hope you enjoyed the sounds of nature in this episode! It's short & sweet.
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we spoke with Sandy who is a beauty, fashion and lifestyle content creator. Sandy gave us the full scoop on what her journey has been like with content creating, how it impacts her mental health and her tips on how to start on social media. Sandy recently decided to not pursue medical school and shared how she came to that decision. We were inspired with Sandy's vulnerability and how she shows up authentically as herself. You'll hear about all of the amazing things she does aside from content creating. Be sure you follow Sandy on instagram and tiktok for inspiring content!
SANDY'S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sandysprosium
Instagram: https://instagram.com/sandysprosium
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
We’re saying hello as we say goodbye to our first apartment together. This change has been so bittersweet. You may have been here when we started living together (episode 9) and heard how challenging it was to adjust, we didn’t think we’d become so attached to it. As we laid on the floor of our apartment after hours of deep cleaning, we started reflecting on the last year here and decided to press record for memories. We’ve experienced many growing pains here and we’re so grateful to have a space of comfort. Change takes time. Allow yourself the time to grieve, reflect, adjust & move forward. There are many more experiences ahead of us!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we reflected on our relationship with our fathers. Thony shared his understandings of his father and the similarities his parents share. Charlotte shared her amending relationship with her biological father and her realizations with her father who stepped in when she was only four years old. We reflected on our relationship as a child and how it changed as we became adults. We also shared what we would like to tell our fathers one day. There’s still so much we don’t know about our parents but we hope we can start creating moments of curiosity and connection with them. To all of the fathers and father figures out there, we see you and we thank you!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, Ila Moua joins us in a conversation about serial dating, dating patterns, learning how to give and accept healthy love, how family impacts our identities, and living a shame free life. We also talked about Love is Blind and who we relate with the most. Reflecting on our past and creating awareness is such a powerful tool to have on our journey. When we know better, we do better! Please be sure to follow Ila’s links listed below!
ILA’S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Personal Instagram: https://instagram.com/ilaview
Eyelah Co. Instagram: https://instagram.com/eyelah.co
Podcast Instagram: https://instagram.com/whenthetigerbites
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4BQYkTky2WNMM9TIIk89JZ?si=-f4opFlfSjW-8t_P9VYZqg
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we explore boundaries and how we’re learning to set them. Boundaries are a big part of creating a healthy relationship. We were taught that boundaries are not for your loved ones, which isn’t true! It’s actually a great way to build a strong foundation of a relationship. Boundaries help us love each other the way we need. It creates connections and understanding of one another. We’re unlearning and relearning how to set boundaries in our every day lives; at work, with our families/friends, with each other, and ourselves! The goal isn’t to get it perfect, but to keep trying.
Book Mentioned: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we reflected on our relationship with our moms. Charlotte's mom had her young and was a single mother for a period of time. Thony's mom raised him in a traditional household. As we got older, our relationship naturally evolved. We've learned to humanize our moms by listening to their stories and seeing the many roles they play. We are grateful for the sacrifices they've made and for the life they have given us. The relationships we have with our moms aren't perfect but we wouldn't want to go through this process of unlearning without them. Our moms did the best they could with the knowledge they had. To all the mothers and mother figures listening, thank you for all that you do!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
On this episode, Gloria Chavvez joins us to chat about all things healing, codependency, and being an introvert. Gloria is a mental health advocate and a Latinx creative that enjoys sharing perspectives that inspire and help others on their healing journey. We appreciate the time, stories, wisdom, and advice Gloria shared with us. This episode is just a glimpse of the amazing content Gloria makes on TikTok for her 39.7K followers. Please be sure to follow Gloria on the links listed below and support her merch!Â
GLORIA CHAVVEZ’S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gloria_chavvez
Instagram: https://instagram.com/gloria_chavvez
Gloria’s Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/grow-as-you-go-gloriachavvezmerch/
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastÂ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastÂ
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we shared what we’re trying to heal from and how it looks like for us. As a couple who are own their separate healing journey, we are still figuring out how we can support one another. One thing we’ve learned is to just meet each other where we are and respecting the differences we have when it comes to healing. Whether it’s giving each other the space to practice our self-care or creating time/capacity to listen and validate. We hope this episode makes you feel less alone as you’re processing your healing. Be proud of yourself and give yourself grace. We’re in this together!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcastÂ
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcastÂ
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
On this episode, Mailee interviews us…. but no really, how did she turn the tables on us? Mailee is many things but what we love most about her is that she is unapologetically herself. Her raw honesty of the “ugly” sides of healing was a reminder to us that we never have it all figured out but it doesn’t mean we aren’t healing. Creating the awareness of the “ugly” is what helps us bloom. She made us dig deeper, laugh and learn more about each other. This episode is a perfect example of what a conversation with Mailee is like. Don’t forget to follow Mailee and listen to her podcast for vulnerable conversations! Mailee’s links are listed below. TW: sexual assault
MAILEE’S SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HuSDP30SJP0rsmeLYX1Jl?si=-baNTPUITlieqGep1jjOUg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100077033616406
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode we reflected on the time we almost broke up. Sometimes the best way to heal a relationship is by taking the focus off the relationship and to start looking within ourselves. We spent a lot of time reflecting on how we contributed to the challenges and the work we need to do to heal our past in order to move forward. One thing we’ve learned is there’s not a wrong choice when it comes breaking up or staying together. We all have different capacities when it comes to the things we can tolerate and grow from. We can only hope that the relationships you’ve chosen to continue make you feel safe, respected and loved. And that the relationship you have with yourself is evergrowing!
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
Our first guest of 2022 is the one and only, Nakita Vang! We think you’ll immediately feel the warmth and honesty that she embodies. Nakita shared her experiences and reflections about relationships, self-love, single-hood, how we show up and much more. She also helped us understand each other more, something we didn’t expect but it just goes to show how amazing Nakita is. We hope you enjoy all the gems and laughs we shared with Nakita.
**We apologize for the echos. You also may want to turn the volume down for this episode, we got a little loud and excited!
WHERE TO FIND NAKITA
Facebook: https://x.facebook.com/nakitacvang/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nakitavang/
Blog: https://www.nakitavang.com/
Newest Youtube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx3GcW6oqEw&ab_channel=NakitaVang
UNLEARNING PATTERNS PODCAST SOCIAL MEDIA
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
time stamp:
03:25 - How would you describe yourself as a partner?
04:12 - From your past relationships, is there anything you sacrificed to make it work?
06:29 - Were there any examples growing up that taught you how to be in a relationship?
12:38 - Did you ever feel like you lost a sense of self?
18:08 - How did you pick up the pieces of your identity after your relationships ended?
23:21 - How did you cultivate love and happiness from within?
30:05 - Discussing being in a relationship vs being single
35:54 - How will you maintain your sense of self in your future relationships?
38:15 - Do you have any past tendencies/behaviors that you fear will carry into future relationships?
41:46 - Charlotte & Thony reflect on their similarities with Nakita
45:56 - How does creating stories of others rob you of the present moment?
53:40 - Nakita reflects on what it’s like to have an anxious mind while in a relationship
1:05:00 - What are you unlearning about relationships with romantic partners and yourself?
1:06:55 - What are the qualities you’re looking for in a future partner?
1:10:28 - How to keep up with Nakita’s work
No more seasons, just new episodes every other Monday! In today’s episode, we discussed friendship. What kind of friend were we, did we consider ourselves a good friend, how are we redefining friendship, and what kind of friend do we hope to become? We hope you’ll give us grace as we’re still learning and unlearning what it takes to be a good friend to ourselves and others.
Unlearning Patterns Podcast Social Media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In honor of our two year anniversary and season finale, we chose to answer some questions from our listeners! We hope you enjoyed this last episode of the season. Make sure you subscribe/follow so you’ll be updated when we come back for season two. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from us!
Unlearning Patterns Podcast Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
timestamp: 1:00 - what advice would we give to our past selves? 13:08 - what have we learned about ourselves? 17:50 - what have we taught each other? 21:30 - what do we hope to become in our third year? 23:36 - closing
After a long break, we are back with a life update! There has been a few changes and we wanted to share how we've been processing them. Please remember that rest is not earned but something we simply deserve. Take time to rest and find gratitude for yourself. We're all trying our best and that's enough!
Unlearning Patterns Podcast Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Music Production: LAZYASSKID
1:07 - the move in process and grieving period 10:02 - how did we adjust to each other’s habits? 14:45 - Thony’s journey to his new job 25:42 - Thony bought a new car! 32:00 - Charlotte’s journey of self 43:58 - what do we appreciate about living together? 46:29 - closing
This episode is your mental health check-in point! May is Mental Health Awareness Month and we hope you're doing well. We are discussing our opinions about Mental Health and sharing our personal experiences with anxiety and depression. Mental Health looks different for everyone and it's so important to respect other's needs and boundaries around it. Please continue to educate yourself on Mental Health, check in with your loved ones, and be kind to yourself.
Thank you for over 700 downloads! We loving hearing the conversations you're having with loved ones after listening to our episodes. We appreciate your support. <3
Unlearning Patterns Podcast Social Media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
00:43 - Mental Health Definitions from CDC
2:41 - Mental Health in the Hmong Community
7:18 - Breaking the Sigma of Mental Health
9:50 - Creating a safe space to have conversations about Mental Health
13:03 - Charlotte's experience with Anxiety
21:26 - Thony’s experience with Depression + his self-care practices
30:54 - Charlotte’s self-care practices
31:35 - Seeking Help
32:58 - Life coaching and Therapy
36:24 - Breaking Patterns for our mental health
38:01 - how we support each other’s mental health
In this episode, we have on our first couple! Pheng and Barbara have been together for 14 years and have a daughter together. We are so honored that they allowed us to share their story with our listeners. Pheng also shared a passion and business he has started called Guerrilla Pastures. Don’t miss out on getting to know these two! Thanks again to Pheng and Barbara for being on our podcast. We admire you both and can’t wait to see where your adventures takes your family!
Guerilla Pastures Contact Info
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/guerrillapastures
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guerrillapastures/
Unlearning Patterns Podcast
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
Timestamps:
1:17 - meet Barbara and Pheng
2:40 - the start of their relationship
13:15 - vulnerability, communication, and openness within their relationship
15:50 - growing up together, going to college, hardships
18:14 - outside opinions and influences on your relationship
24:46 - the transition from dating to marriage
28:29 - understanding each other’s love language and keeping the spark alive
33:58 - differences in relationships
37:26 - parenthood: raising Lauryn
52:07 - moving out of the cities
53:55 - compromising and supporting each other
56:32 - Guerrilla Pastures
58:40 - Charlotte and Thony’s Reflections
We are back from our short break! In this episode, we are chatting about Adulthood. We have entered our “late 20s” and wanted to reflect on the pressures of marriage, kids, personal growth, the Hmong culture and more. As always, these are our own personal experiences and expectations. We respect that our listeners may not agree or understand. We just hope that by listening to our conversations, you may learn something helpful. Remember that your journey is unique to you and that we’re all on different timelines. How beautiful is it that although our journeys are different, they still cross and we get the opportunity to impact and support one another?
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Â
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast Â
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
Episode Timestamps
00:25 - episode 5 reflections
4:55 - expectations vs reality of adulthood
11:06 - expectations set by others
16:23 - the pressure of marriage
24:06 - the pressure of having kids
27:13 - the pressure from peers and reaching milestones
31:24 - Charlotte’s pressure of being equal to Thony
35:19 - other pressures we feel as we’re adulting
40:55 - where do we see ourselves in 10 years?
Welcome back! In Part Two of The Enneagram, we reflected on our partner's enneagram type. We also had conversations about what it's been like to work with Lynda and using the enneagram as a tool in our relationship. See below for links on how to follow/contact Lynda and for free enneagram tests if you want to learn what your enneagram type is.
Episode Timestamps:
1:28 - what Lynda’s reflection of a type four
9:26 - Thony and Charlotte’s reflection of Lynda
13:03 - Thony’s reflection of Charlotte as a type four
18:21 - Charlotte’s reflection of Thony as a type nine
23:18 - Thony unlearning as a type nine
25:26 - Charlotte unlearning as a type four
26:16 - Lynda unlearning as a type two
28:28 - Charlotte and Thony’s takeaways from mini sessions with Lynda
30:54 - Enneagram Coaching with Lynda
34:27 - Lynda’s Message
34:55 - Closing Lynda
Lynda's Links:
https://instagram.com/enneagram_up?igshid=1ll0hf3rl9hl1
https://m.facebook.com/LyndaYG.Enneacoach/
Quick test: https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
If you want a more thorough test: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In part 1 of the Enneagram, you will be hearing from our first guest! Her name is Lynda YG and she is an enneagram coach. Lynda has helped guide us through our enneagram types and shown us how we can use it to better understand ourselves and our relationship. See below for links on how to follow/contact Lynda and for free enneagram tests if you want to learn what your enneagram type is.
1:14 - Who is Lynda
2:29 - What is the Enneagram?
3:52 - How did we learn about the Enneagram?
5:33 - What is the difference between the Enneagram and other popular personality tests?
12:20 - Snapshot of each Enneagram type
15:25 - Thony as a type nine
25:20 - Lynda as a type two
29:59 - Charlotte as a type four
33:11 - Closing
Lynda:
https://instagram.com/enneagram_up?igshid=1ll0hf3rl9hl1
https://m.facebook.com/LyndaYG.Enneacoach/
Quick test:
https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
If you want a more thorough test:
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test
You can find us on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
In this episode, we wanted to take this opportunity to be vulnerable and reflect on how the pandemic affected us. Thony shared how he lost a sense of self when he was unemployed. And Charlotte shared how she reached what felt like her rock bottom. This pandemic has taught us how to be more empathetic and open minded while everyone is processing all the loss and the unpredictable future. As always, we hope by listening, you start to reflect on your journey. Remember to give yourself grace and also celebrate how far you've gotten during this tough time.
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
00:25 - introduction
01:10 - where were we before the pandemic?
03:47 - Thony’s experience with unemployment
04:14 - the beginning of the pandemic
07:04 - Thony shares his loss of identity
17:21 - Charlotte shares how the pandemic affected her mental health
23:01 - Charlotte’s coping mechanisms
25:57 - The pandemic and our relationship (strengths, weaknesses, challenges)
34:23 - did the pandemic raise our self-awareness?
36:56 - Charlotte shares her appreciation for Thony
38:58 - Thony shares his appreciation for Charlotte
43:55 - reflection of podcast episode
46:07 - preview of episode 4
46:35 - closing
Grab your cup because we are spilling the tea! In episode 2, we’re inviting you all to take a trip down memory lane with us.
We shared our initial attraction, platonic friendship, why it took so long for us to date, and some conflicts we experienced as a new couple.
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music Production: LAZYASSKID
Welcome to our very first episode! Get to know who we are as individuals and a couple. You'll quickly learn that we have two very different stories, but it's really what has balanced our connection. We also shared our intentions with this podcast, which ultimately is creating a space for all of us to feel supported on this journey of unlearning patterns.
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music: Prod. LAZYASSKID
We are so excited to start this podcast journey. You can expect to hear open conversations between us. We are here to be vulnerable and share our experiences that pushed us to unlearning patterns that were not helpful. Also the steps it took for us to star our growth and the growing pains as individuals and a couple. We hope by listening, you feel that you've gained validation and support on your journey of unlearning patterns.
You can find us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlearningpatternspodcast
Music: (Prod. LAZYASSKID)