The Next Man Up | Equipping Fathers | Raising Men: Recent Episodes
Mark Stanifer
What does real manhood look like? When does a boy become a man? What is this idea of initiation all about? If you’re asking questions like these, or want to make a positive impact on the next generation of boys, then join Mark and his various co-hosts and guests as they cultivate a conversation around these topics and more.
After almost 5 years and nearly 250 episodes, The Next Man Up podcast is drawing to a close. In this final episode, Mark is joined by current co-host, John Gregory, and previous co-hosts Josh Wilson and Alen Auguste, as the 4 discuss their “why” for doing the podcast, favorite memories, and the impact they hope to leave on the men and fathers listening in.
Mastering the craft of fatherhood requires a number of things. For today’s guest, two of those things are to rebel and create. Ned Schaut — husband, father of 5, author of two books and host of the Rebel and Create Podcast — joins the show today to talk about why those two words are so influential for him. We cover a number of other topics familiar to this show, including the much anticipated release of his new book and the impact he hopes it will have on young fathers.
Connect with Ned:
- Websites:
- rebelandcreate.com
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adventureoffatherhood.com
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Ned’s TedX Talk
- Rebel and Create Podcast
Manhood and journey, two words used often on this show, come together to form an inspiration and movement for today’s guest. Kent Evans is the father of 5 boys, the author of 3 books, and founder of Manhood Journey. He joins us today to talk about the work he’s doing to encourage and equip fathers to pursue biblical fatherhood and why it’s so important that men embrace the manhood journey.
Connect with Kent:
- Website: manhoodjourney.org
- Kent’s books on Amazon
Guys, this is an episode for you and your wife. Author, podcast host and mom of 4 boys, Monica Swanson joins the show today to share some of her story and how she’s helping moms (and dads) become better parents and raise boys and girls to become Jesus following character trained men and women. Monica’s mom perspective is a great addition to the voices on this show and the resources she’s developed will help you and your wife continue to grow as parents.
Connect with Monica:
- Website: https://monicaswanson.com/
- IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaswanson_/?hl=en
- FB: https://www.facebook.com/TheGrommom/
- Character Training Course
Who is the child you want to give to the world? That one question changed the life of today’s guest, both as a dad and as a professional. Matt Barnes is a Learning Coach who helps parents grow Self-Governing, Self-Driven Learners. He’s also a father of three kids, all of whom he describes as self-governing beasts. Matt is disrupting the way we think about education and inviting dads to take a strategic approach to the future men they are raising.
Connect with Matt:
- Matt Barnes on Linked In
- theeducationgame.com
Extended Notes:
- Most of our problems stem from how we think, which comes from how we’re educated
- There’s been an inversion of the primary place of education, from the home to the institution of schooling
- The institution of school is designed to encourage finding the right answers and regurgitating them
- Truth lies within the family; it is not up to the institution to define truth for kids; the key question is who decides what truth is?
- Media is the greatest influence in kids today; dads need to engage with that media and disrupt the messages kids are receiving; invite kids into a conversation about the message and the messenger
- Preparing self-leaders will allow them to learn their way out of any situation
- Matt’s Key Question: Who is the child you want to give to the world?
- Noticing and working with your child’s interest allows you to build a learning journey with them, for their own self learning and discovery
- The school room is uniquely designed to frustrate boys; Dads must engage early and often as the strategist for their son’s life
Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Something to help guide you and provide focus as you navigate the next 12 months? Maybe you’ve never heard of this idea before. In this first episode of the new year, Mark and John get into their experience with this process, what it’s meant to them, and how you can adopt it for yourself, for your marriage and with your kids as well.
A resource to use: https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/
Extended Notes:
- A word to help focus the next 12 months, different from goals or values
- Can help establish a fixed posture as you go throughout the year
- Over time, these words can build and capture your journey from year to year
- Choose a word in the way you typically make a decision, work with what works for you
- This can be a way to receive something Father wants to give you
- Allow the word to inform the entirety of your life
- Can also do this with your marriage, with your family, and with each of your kids
- If you do this, you must regularly remind yourself of the word; this activates the brain to help maintain the focus and receive what’s there
Cancel culture is a topic that is current and deserves to be addressed. Bringing back a familiar voice is a good way to do it. Alon Auguste joins us again to do what he always does—speak into current culture with a timely and timeless message. It’s almost a guarantee that you haven’t engaged with this topic in the way Alon does in this episode. Which is why no matter your understanding of this cultural issue, this episode is a must listen. (Originally aired as episodes 170 & 171)
Craig Fullen, champion of the Joyful Mindset, joins the show today to talk about who he is, what he does, and his passion to become the best version of himself and help others do the same. For him, it is best encompassed in the idea of a Joyful Mindset. Join us for this great discussion with Craig. (Originally aired as episodes 98 & 99)
Follow Craig on Twitter @craigfullen
Our guest today is Rich Johnson. He’s a husband, father of 4, pastor, yoga instructor, and you will soon see why he’s someone who is easy to respect and admire. And he’s a black man. Which makes him uniquely qualified to talk about race, both as a man, and also as a father guiding his kids through society today. Let Rich be your guide as we navigate through this big topic of race and racism. (Originally aired as episodes 115 & 116)
Instagram @richjohnsononline
Coach, pastor, and former counselor Twyla Stanifer joins the show today to talk about healthy manhood and identity. How to think about what healthy manhood is and how to engage women, at work and at home, from a place of health and security are just a few of the topics we get into in the first half of this conversation. In the second half, we get deeper into the work she is doing today around understanding how our beliefs — about God, ourselves, others — impact our actions and the results we get in life. We also get into how important it is to help boys understand how to identify what they’re feeling and their belief systems in order to become healthy men. (Originally aired as episodes 111 & 112)
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, author, and speaker Morgan Snyder joins us for one of the best conversations we’ve had on the show. It starts and ends with this idea of becoming, and 2 central questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming. This episode is a must listen! (Originally aired as episode 132)
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Website: becomingaking.com
Expanded Notes:
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Becoming is a central theme for men
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2 key questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming?
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Male initiation is part of our spiritual growth
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Every great story borrows from the gospel, which is meant to be the greatest story of our lives
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The image of God (imago dei) is evident in the power that boys & men display or pursue
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Initiation is about learning how to use that power to bless others
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The pocket knife as a metaphorical and literal demonstration of power
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We live in a world at war, where it’s hard to be a man (staying true to the process of initiation)
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The magic of the kingdom of God is made available in everyday life
Life will bring you storms. It’s not if but when. But whether you’re in the storm or in pleasant circumstances, gratitude is part of establishing a firm foundation. Blending the real storm of hurricane Ian and this season of giving thanks, John and Mark explore the importance and benefits gratitude on being grounded and strong no matter your circumstances.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Music producer, award winning filmmaker, and man of God, Domingo Guyton, joins the show to share his story. Transformed from a troubled Boston teen to the husband, father, and follower of Jesus he is today, Domingo talks about how his creative gifts are being put to use, on mission, building relationship bridges across various communities and persevering with the vision God has given him.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Contact Info:
- IG: @thedomingoguyton
- FB: @domingoguyton
- Website: domingoguyton.com
When your son asks you what it means to be a man, what will you say? It is imperative that you have a standard against which you can measure how you’re doing as a man and toward which you can guide your son. In part 2 of this conversation, Mark and John offer a definition to help you develop one for yourself or to advance your thinking on this topic toward a better one.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Expanded Notes:
- Courage — The ability to face fear and adversity and not be overcome. Rather than retreating or hiding in or from the moment.
- Honor — The posture of respect and esteem toward others and a resolve to right conduct in your relationship with them. As opposed to being judgmental, arrogant or selfish in your conduct and interactions with others.
- Faith — Believing that we have a divine Father who loves us and is actively working on our behalf, for our good and the good of others. The opposite of believing we are nothing more than chance or relying only on scientific observation and not acknowledging the mystery or the unknown of life.
- Love — The decision to actively and purposefully pursue the wellbeing of those for whom you care for and have influence, including yourself. Rather than behavior that is focused only on self gratification and gain.
- Responsibility — The act of owning your choices and the consequences that result from those choices. The opposite of playing the victim and expecting rescue from someone else.
- Integrity — The resolve to be and live consistent with who you are and what you believe. Rather than being and doing in the moment what is easiest or most expedient to please or appease others.
- Strength — The power — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — to stand strong and not be moved. To know who you are and where you are going. The opposite of weakness which leads to compromise or the inability to be who you want to be or do what you want to do.
- Leadership — The ability to guide yourself and influence others toward a vision of the future that does not yet exist. In contrast to lacking command of yourself and not engaging in opportunities to influence and impact others for good.
What does it mean to be a man? How do you describe manhood? Is your definition one of a healthy and godly man? And, why does it matter? These are the questions Mark and John engage in part 1 of this conversation, to put a stake in the ground about how we define manhood and why it is such important work to do for ourselves and the men-to-be we are raising.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Often, God uses your own story and experience to shape the impact He wants to make through you. Such is the case with Bryce Bouchard. After a childhood in a broken home and a faulty understanding of manhood, he began a quest to discover what it means to be a man which shaped the course of his life. Now, decades later, he’s guiding males of all ages on their own quest to become Noblemen.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
Noblemen Ministries: https://noblemenministries.com/
Email: brycebouchard@gmail.com
References:
- Isaiah 3
- Isaiah 32:8
- Jeremiah 9:23-24
- Charles Swindoll Great Lives book series
Expanded Notes:
- Key Identity Descriptors for men:
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- Abiding with God, the center of the target
- Dialoguing with God; asking, listening and surrendering
- Love, Lead, Serve, Provide and Protect
- Developing those around you
- Portion of the Nobleman Creed: Be physically present and emotionally available
- Discovering your identity is realizing you are already part of the family, you don’t have to earn a place
Mark goes off! A Facebook post on the topic of wives submitting to husbands is all that was needed to turn on the mics and address this head on. It’s time to change the way we talk about this topic.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
References:
- Tim Mackie on Ephesians 5
- Ephesians 5
- The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast
- 1 Corinthians 13
- Land of Color, Show Me What It Means To Love
Expanded Notes:
- Shift the conversation from authority to love
- The growth moment for you may be to initiate the conversation with your wife
- What could mutual submission look like for your relationship?
- Men are called to go first, from a place of love and service
- The lane of authority will eventually lead to abuse
- Your struggles may be because of trying to live out teaching that just isn’t right
- You may have opportunities to help other guys, simply by asking them how things are going
- Or, what would it look like for you to ask for some help from someone you trust?
- “Wisdom with love equals leadership. Wisdom without love equals manipulation.” Bruxy Cavey
- What is your example, your marriage, teaching your son about his marriage someday?
A gentleman used to mean certain things, like the way you dress or talk or how you carry yourself. Although we’re familiar with the word today it doesn’t hold the same meaning as it once did. It may not even be a consideration for dads when raising their sons. But perhaps it should. And an old manual from the 1880’s might have more to say about the subject than we at first realize.
NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/
References:
- Epoch Times article: https://www.theepochtimes.com/a-gentlemans-instruction-manual-from-the-1880s-explains-how-to-have-manners-general-rules-of-conduct_4488291.html
- Jeff Foxworthy You Might Be A Redneck If …
Expanded Notes:
- How are you training your son to become a gentleman?
- Some examples to consider:
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- Well rounded in activities, including familiarity and appreciation for the creative arts
- Prepare them for the social settings they will encounter
- Discuss things like self awareness and non-verbal communication
- Help him know what to do and not to do with his phone
- Talk about the principles behind the “rules” or guidelines
- Encourage him to be present wherever he is
- Teach him how to respond — to himself and others — when he makes mistakes
- Tell your stories to your son, what happened and what you learned
- Intentionally introduce him to new experiences and then guide him through them
- Grow your own awareness as a father, with humility and learning
Tampa Bay Rays Press Box Supervisor, Dukes Knutson, joins the show to talk about his love for both Jesus and Baseball and how his path has lead to an integration of both. Dukes’ brings his veteran experience and presence to our TNMU Clubhouse and has much to offer us younger men who are also wanting to follow Jesus and pursue dreams.
The names you use to refer to others, including your son, have tremendous power in the message they communicate. But when we’re not aware of that impact or not acting intentionally for the good of the other person opportunities are missed. John and Mark explore what this looks like in practice and in helping your son become a man.
References:
- The Bible Project
Expanded Notes:
- Changing of a name can represent a line of demarkation, a transition from what was to what is or what can be; A before and after
- Whatever language you use to get your child’s attention can become who they believe they are
- Old Testament era naming often had real meaning based on the circumstances surrounding the birth of the child
- Even Father God changed the name we know him by as part of expanding how we know him; From El Shaddai to Yahweh to Jesus
- How you refer to your son in his journey into manhood and after he arrives can be significantly powerful for him
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- What about how you refer to him around his friends or as he becomes a father?
- How are you honoring, or dishonoring, your son by what you call him?
- How can you be more intentional with names and nicknames in the process of raising a young man?
- Discussing this with your son can be rich opportunities for connection and understanding
What is your image of Jesus? Not Jesus the divine. Rather Jesus the man. Where did that image come from? Does it inspire you or does it leave you wanting more? What if your view of Jesus the man isn’t at all like he really was? Today’s guest, author, leader and student of Jesus, Josh Khachadourian, is here to set the record straight about who Jesus really was. And, to help us see that he is the standard for manhood that we need, that we’ve been looking for.
Contact Info:
Website: standard59.com
Book: The Standard
Podcast: Raising the Standard
Expanded Notes:
- Avoiding the prodigal path has much to do with the influence of parents and how you are raised
- There is no shame in a story that is focused on running a steadfast race which doesn’t require a radical conversion
- Jesus invites us into an experience with him
- Jesus, as a human man, was the inspiration for Josh’s book and a model for great masculinity
- Economic and social changes created a church culture that became more feminine and in turn lessoned Jesus’ masculinity
- In contrast, Jesus came as a blue collar man, physically strong and deeply confrontational with truth and with grace; Jesus was strongly subversive
- Jesus shows us that real strength comes from within, a more courageous expression of strength
- 6 Major themes of Jesus’ life captured in the book, The Standard, about how Jesus modeled manhood for us:
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- Self Mastery
- Leadership
- Communication
- Empathy
- Strength
- Mission of Love
- Jesus provides an example for every man about preparation
- The key message is that grit and grind and intensity is not enough; you cannot live Jesus’ example on your own
Today’s guest is on the frontlines battling the effects of drug and alcohol abuse. After going from a strong, moral upbringing in Southern Oklahoma to a drug-related downfall that had him facing federal prison, Bobby Newman now works as an interventionist helping turn situations from tragic to hopeful. Bobby speaks as a former addict, a professional who helps other addicts, and as a father guiding his sons on how to navigate away from the pain of substance abuse.
Contact Info:
Website: newmaninterventions.com
Phone: 866.989.4499
Email: bobbyn@newmaninterventions.com
Expanded Notes:
- The stakes are bigger than just what happens in your family
- Drugs are any toxin that is taken into the body that can produce addiction
- Some positive things parents can do that reduce the temptation of drugs
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- Watch who your kid’s friends are
- Be a safe place for kids to talk about things
- Encourage your kids to interact with others in person, not just online or digitally
- Be an example for who you want your kids to be
- When to engage your kids on education? “It’s never too early, it’s only too late.”
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- Communicate with kids in age appropriate language and content
- Help them understand that all drugs are toxins, even those which are sometimes considered necessary
- Suggestions for dads dealing with this in their home
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- Give them information and space to wrestle with it
- Involve other influencers in their life to help
- Validate the positives even while correcting the negatives
A University of Kansas class prompts Mark and John to dig into the topic of angry white males. There’s much that could be said here, with much of that likely to stir up additional anger or become too political. Ultimately the discussion distills down to and hinges on one key question, a question posed to John during a counseling session a few years ago.
References in the show:
- Article: https://www.foxnews.com/us/university-kansas-offers-angry-white-male-studies-class
- Book: Angry White Men
- Book: Them
- Dog Video: Funny Dog Clip
Expanded Notes:
- Men’s struggle with anger plus current cultural bias to outrage combine to make this topic more relevant than you might think
- At the core for men is dealing with anger, regardless of where it is coming from
- Part of overcoming anger is not feeding it
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This involves awareness and self reflection and owning our part, focusing on what we can control
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Anger is OK, it’s an emotion; But anger doesn’t have to have control
- Examples from the Bible:
- James 1:19-20
- Ephesians 4:26
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Moses (His whole story)
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Anger often emanates from feeling like we don’t have control
- Key Question: What are you going to do with your anger?
- Part of being a strong man is learning what to do with your anger
- What is your safety value to release some of the pressure of your anger?
- Are you willing to risk releasing your anger to Father? Do you trust Him to handle it?
You are not only raising your son, you’re raising a future husband to someone else and a future father to your grandchildren. How does that influence your fathering? Are you in those fathering moments today with an eye toward the end goal, who your sons are becoming? With John’s probing, Mark shares some more from his story and what he’s looking forward to down the road as his kids become spouses and parents to the next generation.
Linked In Post: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6941919286512816128/
Blog references: 4 Stages of Manhood reference article and Podcast Episode #157 How the Boy Becomes a Man
Expanded Notes:
- Meme “You’re not just raising your son, you're raising somebody’s husband, somebody’s father. Raise your sons to be good men.”
- When you raise good men, they will be good men in whatever role they are in
- The process of modeling and teaching can’t start too early
- You can be in the moments as they require, while still leading toward a bigger goal and vision for your son
- Opportunities to reinforce what it means to be a good man are plentiful and available for the father who is engaged
- Raise your kids to be adults and give them a good foundation to build upon
- Questions to ponder:
- If you’re fortunate to become a grandfather, what do you want to see in your kids and grandkids?
- How are you raising your son to be a good man?
- If you could picture your son as a father or husband someday, how would that change how you’re fathering him today?
You are not only raising your son, you’re raising a future husband to someone else and a future father to your grandchildren. How does that influence your fathering? Are you in those fathering moments today with an eye toward the end goal, who your sons are becoming? With John’s probing, Mark shares some more from his story and what he’s looking forward to down the road as his kids become spouses and parents to the next generation.
Linked In Post: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6941919286512816128/
Blog references: 4 Stages of Manhood reference article and Podcast Episode #157 How the Boy Becomes a Man
Expanded Notes:
- Meme “You’re not just raising your son, you're raising somebody’s husband, somebody’s father. Raise your sons to be good men.”
- When you raise good men, they will be good men in whatever role they are in
- The process of modeling and teaching can’t start too early
- You can be in the moments as they require, while still leading toward a bigger goal and vision for your son
- Opportunities to reinforce what it means to be a good man are plentiful and available for the father who is engaged
- Raise your kids to be adults and give them a good foundation to build upon
- Questions to ponder:
- If you’re fortunate to become a grandfather, what do you want to see in your kids and grandkids?
- How are you raising your son to be a good man?
- If you could picture your son as a father or husband someday, how would that change how you’re fathering him today?
What do Charles Barkley, golf, toothpaste and Amy Grant have in common? They all make their way into this episode about sorting through and cleaning up the voices in your head. What are the voices in your head? Are they helping you or hurting you? Once you figure that out, then what can you do about it. That’s where Mark and John go in this episode.
Video References:
Charles Barkley Interview: https://youtu.be/VkDq_6xlZhY?t=91
Charles Barkley Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMe6Lp4Ekbo
Expanded Notes:
- Everyone deals with voices in their head; It’s how you deal with them that matters
- Some summary reactions to Barkley’s interview:
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- Too many voices leads to confusion, distraction and lack of focus
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- Pick a voice and go with it
- The voices, the lessons, the practicing, can feel like activity when it’s actually keeping from you playing the game. Or they can become the quest for the next thing that will finally get you there
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- Check your motivation and adjust accordingly
- Determine who the best voices are (the top 1-3) and focus there
- Not all head voices are positive, some are quite negative
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- When you fail to execute, which voice(s) helps you to recover
- Anticipate 'the errant shot’ so that when it happens you know how to recover
- Book Reference: The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey.
What do Charles Barkley, golf, toothpaste and Amy Grant have in common? They all make their way into this episode about sorting through and cleaning up the voices in your head. What are the voices in your head? Are they helping you or hurting you? Once you figure that out, then what can you do about it. That’s where Mark and John go in this episode.
Video References:
Charles Barkley Interview: https://youtu.be/VkDq_6xlZhY?t=91
Charles Barkley Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMe6Lp4Ekbo
Expanded Notes:
- Everyone deals with voices in their head; It’s how you deal with them that matters
- Some summary reactions to Barkley’s interview:
-
- Too many voices leads to confusion, distraction and lack of focus
-
- Pick a voice and go with it
- The voices, the lessons, the practicing, can feel like activity when it’s actually keeping from you playing the game. Or they can become the quest for the next thing that will finally get you there
-
- Check your motivation and adjust accordingly
- Determine who the best voices are (the top 1-3) and focus there
- Not all head voices are positive, some are quite negative
-
- When you fail to execute, which voice(s) helps you to recover
- Anticipate 'the errant shot’ so that when it happens you know how to recover
- Book Reference: The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey.
How do you define creative? Where does creativity fit within how you live as a man and how you father? What if there’s more to creativity than you first realized? These are questions that Jeff Fajans helps us explore. Jeff is a husband, father and a passionate creative. From a Phd in Positive Organizational Psychology, to his work with entrepreneurs and leaders, to his music alter-ego of MrBoodaddy, Jeff consistently nurtures creativity in himself and those he impacts, including his son. Listen in to discover how you can too and why it matters.
MrBoodaddy on Spotify
Gifted 30-minute Coaching Call with Jeff - Book Time w Jeff (let's talk about your creative or entrepreneurial goals and how I could support you)
How to Achieve Your Creative Goals - Jeff's course on Domestika will help you ignite your creativity and create a plan to bring your ideas to life.
Instagram link of Hendrix belting out Walk This Way (Aerosmith + Run DMC style)
Website: http://jefffajans.com/
Expanded Notes:
- Creativity is doing something authentically meaningful, purposeful or interesting to you as a person; an orientation to how you approach life
- There are different aspects of creativity everyone can tap into
- Creativity can be hard for men because of its connection to emotions or its association with uncertainty and the unpredictable
- Practice + Presence can lead to Creativity
- All dads should have a creative outlet because it brings more fulfillment to your life and allows you to role model that for your kids; and you can find ways to involve them with you
- Creativity isn’t just for enrichment for your kids, it can become a master meta-skill for how they navigate life
- The creative process is very paradoxical, both open and exploratory as well as requiring discipline and implementation
- Nurturing creativity in your kids starts with providing exposure to a diverse set of experience, then build on what you see they are excited about
- Some advice to get started:
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- Be OK with trying and experimenting; it’s OK to get it wrong
- Use more questions with your son; Be curious and explore with questions
- Explore augmenting your son’s reality to invite imagination and creativity
- Resources:
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- TNMU #208: Coaching Your Son
Parenting and Stepfamily coach and expert, Amy Ambrozich, rejoins the show to talk about the challenges dads face in a co-parenting situation. From role disorientation to grieving the loss of what was to navigating a brand new environment, Amy gets at that struggles men and dads face and offers advice on what you can do. Whether this is your situation, or your buddy’s situation, or you just want to learn, there is something here for you.
Save Our Sanity Group: https://bit.ly/dtplinks
Website: https://www.daretoparent.com
Email: amy@daretoparent.com
Expanded Notes:
- Amy’s starting point for all parenting work:
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- Family Foundation: Vision, Values, and Goals
- When Co-Parenting, consistency across the homes is best for kids
- The biggest challenge that dads in co-parenting situations face is knowing their role
- Men are often not allowed or encouraged to process feelings, especially grief
- Generally it takes 5-7 years for a blended family to feel like a family unit, and many couples don’t make it that long because of how hard it is
- Discipline (and one’s parenting style) is one of the key issues to be addressed in a blended family
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- Transition from friendly adult in the house, to support partner, to taking more active role
- The age of the child matters
- Navigating the disorienting period of “what is my role?”
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- Talk with your wife about what you’re experiencing; be vulnerable
- Find something to do with the kids one to one
- Be supportive when kids are discussing their other parents (including grief from a deceased parent)
- Ease your way in and be open to the tension and the negotiating
- Realize that first born boys may feel like they’re role is being replaced by you
- Assume a posture of listening and a curiosity mindset
- Dad, you go first, model what you want
- What parents wished they had recognized earlier:
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- We don’t have the skills needed to be a parents (we have work to do)
- We need to put our partnership first
- We should have talked about our goals first
- We should have given ourself permission to not know and ask for help
- Resources:
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- Ron Deal, step-family author
A phone call from a friend who needed to unload about the circumstances life was bringing him led John to recognize that this friend was living out Romans 12. What does that mean? What is Romans 12 living? This is the ground Mark and John cover in today’s episode.
Expanded Notes:
- Romans 12:1-2
- 3 key principles
- Consider yourself a living sacrifice
- Be transformed by the renewing of your mind
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Discern what the Father wants
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What if sacrificing for God is really in the innumerable little and mundane efforts to love and serve others?
- Being faithful in the everyday stuff matters
- Living Romans 12 requires us to cooperate with what Father is doing in us; we have agency and responsibility to do our part
- Perhaps the reason why you aren’t hearing from God is because He’s waiting on you to do your part in getting your mind right and surrendering your everyday activity to Him
- Possible prayer for you: Father, what are you wanting me to see or learn in this situation?
Parenting well is a big job. It’s made even harder when your marriage isn’t in a good place. What do you do if you find yourself as a dad in a marriage that sucks? How do you stay strong as a dad and deal with the difficulty of a strained relationship? That’s what Mark and John get into with this episode.
Expanded Notes:
- Suggestions from a professional counselor
- Order — be clear on the roles of the family; help order the chaos
- Love — maintain connection; don’t abuse the connection
- Value — ensure your kids’ sense of worth and value; let them have their activities
-
Hope — have something to look forward to; keep your word
-
If there’s nothing to build on, then you won’t move forward
- Return to relationship fundamentals
- From Dr. Curt Thompson’s work
-
We all desire to be Seen, Safe and feel Secure
-
You must do the work on yourself first and maintain your connection with your kids
- Dr. John Gottman’s work
- Parents must become emotion coaches
-
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting
-
Action steps:
- Fight for your marriage and for your family
- Continue to engage in your role as a father
Joseph Warren is an elite men’s coach, a top-rated podcast host, a husband and father, and most of all a precious son of God. Today he joins the show to share his story and the recipe he’s found for helping men go from angry & stressed to peace and purpose. This is a fast paced conversation with a dude who pulls no punches -- on his own failures and what it takes, and who it takes, to turn things around. To blow up some rocks.
Joseph’s book available for free: freepurposebook.com
1:1 30 min coaching session with Joseph: freepurposecall.com
Podcast: Broken Catholic
Website: blowuprocks.com OR josephwarren.net
Expanded Notes:
- The “rocks” represent the head trash or the things that are holding you back
- The 3 main lies of the enemy (the head trash) are:
-
- God doesn’t love you
- God is not a good father and can’t be trusted
- You are no good; something is wrong with you
- Men must be ready to receive the truth and healing before change will happen
- Joseph’s 7 steps for mastering anger and stress:
-
- Outrageous ownership — I own the choices I’ve made
- Radical responsibility — I do what I need to do to clean up the mess
- Loving leadership — I go first
- Spiritual surrender — I give God complete control over all of my life
- Bold belief — I believe and trust that God is a good Father
- Powerful perseverance — I wait on God to bring my His best
- Eager expectation — I expect only good things from God
- As you come to know God more, you come to understand yourself fully; your spiritual nature changes and you become a new creation
Ceremony is not part of our society in the way it used to be, especially when it comes to the passage of a boy into manhood. Our guest today is tying to change that. Returning to the show for a deep dive into why we need ceremony is Eric Browning. Along with being a father and a husband, he’s the founder of Sand 2 Stone which helps fathers guide their sons on their journey to becoming the men they were created to be.
Website: http://sand2stone.us
Email: info@sand2stone.us
Expanded Notes:
- A boy needs a man to guide him into manhood; in a post-industrial revolution society this no longer happens naturally as a boy works along side his dad
- Ceremony happens in a sacred space, something different than common space; it marks something special and memorable
- As boys grow and mature, ceremonies help them mark those transitions and honor their increased capacity to understand and act
- A boy’s relationship with his mom also needs attention, allowing for separation and transition, especially around the 12-13 age timeframe
- Rite of passage can either move a boy toward rebellion or toward independence; don’t outsource the responsibility to guide your son toward his independence
- A good place to start is to gather with a few other like-minded men and fathers and start talking about what it means to be a man
- Additional steps include blessing your son, making a commitment (covenant) with him, model for him active faith in God, and then find a natural time in his development to call him into manhood
- Book resources:
-
- The Power of Moments by Dan Heath & Chip Heath
- Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis
- The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson
- The Manhood Formation Plan pdf resource
Guys have a knack for fixing. Or at least a tendency to try. This is a great gift when used with wisdom. But not every situation needs a fixer. And even when a fixer is needed, maturity invites us to see it doesn’t always have to be us. This is what Mark and John — a self proclaimed recovering fixer — dig into in this week's conversation.
Expanded Notes:
- The desire to fix is a gift that guys bring to the world
- The growth moment is being aware that not every situation requires a fixer
- Going straight to fixing results in missed opportunities, for learning, for connection, for failure, for experience, for empowerment
- Letting go of our view — as the fixer — opens us up to other options or perspectives
- The situation may need to be fixed, although you may not be best to fix it; Sometimes the fixer isn’t a human being
Money can sometimes be that awkward or intimidating topic to address, both with your kids and your wife. And some of that may be because of the beliefs you have about money. To dive deeper into this issue Bob Lotich joins the show today. Bob is an author, podcast host, and founder of the award winning blog SeedTime. He’s also a father and husband and knows first hand what it means to break unhealthy beliefs and form new ones. And today he’s enjoying the work of helping others do the same.
Website: https://seedtime.com
Book: Simple Money, Rich Life
Podcast: SeedTime Money
Free Resource: Giving Tracking Tool
Expanded Notes:
- Without dad’s involvement, kids will get their financial education from other voices
- We inherit many beliefs — healthy and unhealthy — from our parents
- 2 big common problems within the church: believing wealth equals righteousness and believing poverty equals piety; A better way is to view money as a tool
- What is your definition of financial success? Does it align more with the world’s view or God’s view?
- Suggestion for making giving more fun: track it.
- When it comes to money tension with your wife,
-
- fight to get on the same page together, to be in unity
- look for what’s right or beneficial in her approach and be open to what’s wrong or missing with your approach
- find a way to make talking about money more fun
- discover what’s important to her and converse about ways to get there
- When it comes to debt, rather than good vs bad, a better approach is to really question your motive, which comes back to your heart
- As a dad, find ways for your kids to watch, listen and learn about money from how you work through this with your wife and in your family
- Ideas for you to help your son with money include,
-
- help him see he doesn’t have to spend every dollar he gets
- pay or reward him for the work he does for you
- help him discover an excitement to save and to give
- let him make mistakes and learn from them
Evil is in the world. Recent headlines are evidence. So is what happens in daily life that never makes the news. As a dad, what is your role in navigating the topic and the reality? How are you helping your son to prepare for when he encounters evil? What are things you can do to be more engaged and proactive in guiding your son? This is what unfolds in today’s conversation.
Expanded Notes:
- Exposure to evil is going to happen. What will you do when it does?
- Are you willing to engage with topics for which you don’t have answers or on which you’re not informed?
- If we don’t help our boys find answers, they will look elsewhere
- Meet your boy at the age-appropriate level for where he is
- One of the best things parents can do is recognize child-sized problems
- Engaging your son is part of how you can protect him (from lies and misunderstanding) and prepare him (to be a warrior who will stand against evil)
- Resources:
-
- Frank Peretti books: This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness
- Louie Giglio book: Don’t Give the Enemy a Seat At Your Table
- Acts 16, What is our posture as men when evil is happening around us?
Happy Fathers Day! Guys have a thing about hair. You know it’s true. And as a dad, you may have had a dust up with your son about his hair. Why? What is it about guys and hair? Whether it’s your hair or your son’s, what does it mean when it comes to who we are? Here’s a fun conversation about the topic, with some wisdom sprinkled in too.
My guest today had all the things many men would point to as success: business executive, angel investor, wealth and status. Yet what really matters to him today is the man he has become and how that helps him be a better husband and father. Stewart Roberts joins us to talk about his story, his recent book, and the work he’s doing today to help men avoid the inevitable regrets from a life lived only for professional and financial gain.
Website: https://stewartroberts.com
Book: Visibility: Playing to Win the Game of Life
Expanded Notes:
- At the top of the business game, life began to unravel and forced Stewart out of denial
- Being part of a community provided visibility into the struggles of other accomplished men
- The truth from a trusted friend pointed to the inside work that needed to be done
- Radical shift was required, but it was a long journey and required a lot of work of self discovery
- Your calendar will indicate what is important to you
- The change required a turnaround in all areas of life — spiritually, physically, relationally, emotionally
-
- There is not a place of arrival, it is only a daily process of growing
- SHIFT: Self, Health, Inner Peace, Family & Trade; Fill all 5 buckets regularly in order to be truly successful as a man
- A place to start is the morning routine, earn your breakfast
-
- Book resource: Tiny Habits
Who are you? What do you use to define your identity? For many guys, we use what we do or the things we own or even the people we’re associated with. Yet what happens if or when those things are no longer there? If we’re not grounded in something more, something deeper and core to our being, then we risk not fully knowing who we are. Join us this week on a journey of discovering you are more than what you do.
Expanded Notes:
- What do we mean by Identity?
-
- We are more than what we do or what we have
- We are more than the things that have happened to us
- We have immutable value because we are sons of Father God
- It is about who we are
- “I” identity represents the who that you are that is foundational and constant (i.e. son of god)
- “i” identity represents the way in which you want to live, your values and standards
- Fear holds us back from letting go of the things we think define us
- Growth happens when we choose to be uncomfortable
- What can you do to grow your understanding?
-
- Acknowledge the things or roles you have let represent who you are
- Grow your awareness of who you are that is more than those things
- Learn to become content (Philippians 4:11)
- Songs for the journey:
-
- No Longer Slaves
- Who You Say I Am
- To pursue coaching for yourself around identity, email us at feedback@thenextmanup.com
Coaching in athletics has been around for centuries. Coaching for personal development, on the other hand, is only a few decades old. Though they share the same word, they are significantly different. And the skill of coaching for development can significantly improve the way you father your son. If you want to understand what good coaching is and gather some tips to help you be a better father, this episode is for you.
Expanded Notes:
- What is coaching?
-
- Listening vs talking
- Asking vs telling
- Releasing vs fixing
- Use questions to empower your son to think for himself and discover new insights together
- Remember your child is not yours. You are stewarding a gift from Father.
- Coaching allows you to prepare and release your “apprentice” so he is ready to launch
- Tips for fathers to start coaching:
-
- Create the space to allow your son to talk while you listen and help him process
- Ask good open-ended questions. They generally begin with “What” or “How”.
-
- For example, “What do you think?” or “That’s interesting, can you say more about that?”
- Books to grow in coaching:
-
- Change Your Questions Change Your Life, by Marilee Adams
- The Coaching Habit, by Michael Bungay Stanier
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
The story that unfolds on this episode is one that is timely and timeless. Mike Schreurs, an elder in business, in faith, and in life, shares his story of love and loss and what happens when God doesn’t answer our prayers. It is a story that will draw you in, move you to emotion, and (hopefully) inspire you to live differently as a man, husband, and father.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
You can connect with Mike on Linked In or by emailing him at mschreurs@strategicamerica.com
Parenting from a place of fear is a way to gain your son’s obedience. It’s also likely to result in strained or severed relationship in the end. There is a better way to have a strong relationship and his obedience—parenting from a place of love. In this episode, Mark talks about the two acts of his fathering journey and the intermission between that made all the difference.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Expanded Notes:
- Our default or initial mode of parenting is significantly influenced by how we were parented
-
- If we wish to change, we must first become aware
- Fathering from an insecure place will lead to a focus on obedience and compliance in order to validate the father
- More secure fathering will prioritize the relationship and allow obedience to grow from it
- In John 3:17 Jesus says, “I did not come into the world to condemn.”
-
- Parenting can parallel your understanding of who you are as a son of God
- When you are secure, parenting from a place of love vs fear, you can better meet your kids where they are and give into the situation what is needed most
-
- What does a loving response look like in the moment?
- Some practical tips:
-
- Don’t react in anger; give yourself a “timeout” to settle down before responding
- Make discipline decisions ahead of time; define the boundaries and the consequences beforehand
- Focus on pursuing a love based approach versus a fear based approach
Whether you realize it or not, you have a problem with the F-Word. Not the one you’re thinking of. The F-Word we’re talking about is Fear. Men don’t want to admit it but fear is a nemesis that can keep you from becoming all that God wants you to be. But overcoming fear requires a few things. Join Mark and John as they drill into the layers of fear and discuss ways you can overcome this enemy.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Expanded Notes:
- Talking about the F-word is not typical or easy for guys
- Layers of fear:
-
- Surface fear — what you are aware of and willing to admit
- Deeper fear — what you are aware of but not willing to admit
- Core fear — what you’re not even aware of
- The imposter syndrome can be an indicator of your fear
- Overcoming your fear starts with awareness
- Imagine what’s possible when you admit to fear and seek out others who can help you
-
- What if we admit first to God and trust him to work on our behalf
- If your son were to tell you he’s afraid, how would you respond?
- Speaking your fear is a way to undermine its power
- 2 Tim 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.
- The goal isn’t fearlessness; the goal is to not let fear be in control
-
- Jesus in the garden is an example of not surrendering to fear
- Closing challenge:
-
- Recognize you are most likely not without fear, even if you’re not aware
- Possibilities abound when you move past the fear
- Are you willing to do the work?
- Zach Williams song, Fear Is A Liar
- To explore the 9 core fears more go to https://www.sightshift.com
Helping men overcome pornography and sex addiction is not a popular professional path, but it is a calling that our guest, Dr. Eddie Capparucci, takes very seriously. He specializes in treating what he calls problematic sexual behavior and has developed his own recovery model based on his personal and client experience. Join us as we navigate again into the waters or porn, for your sake and the sake of your son.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Connect with Eddie:
- Latest Book: Why Men Struggle to Love
- https://www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com
- https://abundantlifecounselingga.com
- Blog: https://sexuallypuremen.com
Expanded Notes:
- Eddie’s sex addiction really began with porn at the age of 13
- The source was an attachment disorder from feeling abandoned
- An encounter with Jesus in a church service led to a complete life change, including his career
- Seeing counseling patients that were like him resulted in a sole focus on porn and sex addiction recovery
- Addiction is simply a force within your life that has devastating and negative consequences in all areas of life
- Labeling sex addiction as addiction does not let the person off the hook because there is always a choice
- Pornography is sexual imagery in which people are being sexually objectified
- Whether images are actually porn or not is less relevant than the motive behind why the viewer is looking
- Porn users eventually reach a tolerance level, which leads to a need for something different, not just more
- Your secret is not secret; People pick up on your different behavior, even if they don’t know about the addiction
- Shame is the biggest deterrent in guys seeking help
- A key part of treatment is to be in a group and discover that you’re not alone
- The Inner Child model — the road to recovery goes through unresolved pain from childhood
-
- A negative narrative is part of the roadblock that keeps men addicted
- Core emotional triggers can activate the Inner Child and can signal an episode of acting out
- The road to recovery starts with admitting that you need help
-
- see a counselor certified in sex addiction work
- join a support community
- eliminate the source by locking down your devices
- trust God that you can overcome and be healthy
- As a father, be aware of your son’s behavior change, like isolation and school work changes
-
- first and foremost, monitor your son’s electronics; limit the time and access
- foster honest and open conversation about what they might see from their friends
- Resources:
-
- Good Pictures Bad Pictures — Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids
- Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr — A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds (for younger kids)
Your stuff as a husband and a father affects your wife and kids. It may be your bad habits or addictions or wounds from the past. Or it may be your turn around and the growth you experience. Either way, your stuff affects them, negatively or positively. Want to know what we mean and what to do about it? Join Mark and John for the discussion.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Expanded Notes:
- What you ignore or avoid or work on for growth — negative or positive — affects your wife and kids
-
- Noticing what is feeding “your stuff” can be a great awareness moment
- Exercise your agency to avoid your negative triggers
- When it comes to deeper wounds, you will need to intentionally address it in order to heal
- Dealing with your stuff requires honesty and confronting lies you may have believed (for example, it’s just a little [fill in the blank])
-
- Your kids will notice your character compromises
- Book Reference: Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher
- The positive side is this: as you grow and deal with your stuff, you can help others in similar work
- Ways you can deal with your stuff?
-
- Ask your wife (or those close to you) what your stuff is
- You must start with awareness and in humility acknowledge you don’t know what you don’t know
- Once you know, then you can ask for help
- Ask God to help you build your team of folks who can help you
- Share your story, where you’ve been and where you are, and listen to the stories of others
If you’re like many guys, saying “love you man” to another dude, even a close-friend-dude can be difficult. Where does that come from? Why does it matter? Those are just a few of the questions that Mark and John get into on this topic. John’s singing voice makes a surprise appearance. Plus, there are some great resources offered to help you along in this journey.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Expanded Notes:
- Your intent in how you express love verbally is indicated in the words you use (for example: Love you vs I love you)
- The english word love is versatile and yet inadequate without proper context
- We each must go through a reconciliation with how we feel and express love in order to improve and grow
- We need to discover and learn the way to receive and express love as a healthy man
- Awareness is the answer. What is the question?
- Growing in your understanding and expression of love will benefit all of your relationships
- This work is hard but the benefits are compelling
-
- Your personal growth
- Your example for your son
- Sharing your story is a great way to connect with your son
- Suggested resources:
-
- The 5 Love Languages
- Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt
- 1 John
The podcast returns with a new look, and new sound, and a new voice. John Gregory is joining the show as a co-host. So today, we get to know John a bit and set the stage for what’s coming up in future episodes.
Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
To learn more about John, you can find and follow him here:
- https://www.facebook.com/john.gregory.965
- https://johngregoryjr.com
With this episode, #200, the podcast is wrapping up the Essentials of Manhood series and taking a short break for some retooling and remodeling. Join Mark for a look at this last quality of manhood to highlight — Faith — and then take a break for a few weeks with us while we prepare for you a new season. Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Episode 200 means it’s time for a short break
- Also marks the end of the Essentials of Manhood series. Find the complete audio and written series here.
- Faith is “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)
- “It’s impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 The Message)
- 3 questions around Faith:
-
- What do you believe?
-
- Who do you believe God is?
- Are you living what you say you believe?
-
- Actions reveal beliefs 100% of the time
- Are you passing faith on to your son?
-
- Your kids are likely to do, and believe, what they see you do and believe
- Closing questions for reflection and action:
-
- How are you defining faith, through what you say and do?
- What is the story of your faith journey? Who are you becoming?
-
- Have you ever written out or recorded your story?
- What is one step you can take today to grow in your faith?
- How are you shaping your son’s faith?
-
- Have you outsourced this to someone else? If so, what needs to change?
There is much that society and pop culture have to say about love. But most of it falls well short of what love really means. Helping your son to understand love in a bigger and broader light is part of helping him become a healthy and godly man. In this latest installment of essential qualities of manhood, we tackle what love is and what it really looks like.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Love is more than feelings, it is an act of the will to care for and pursue the wellbeing of someone
- It's a way of being which becomes the underlying motive behind all we do
- 3 ways to teach your son about love:
-
- Love yourself — you will love others at the level at which you love yourself
- Love your family — this is obvious, but it is not easy
- Love your neighbor — when we love those who don’t love us, we get a glimpse of the heart of Jesus
- Closing questions to ponder:
-
- Where is your understanding of love too small?
- Where has your practice of love become too easy?
- As a father, how can you help your son see love in a bigger light?
This episode is a bonus 3rd segment of the conversation with Andrew Boscaljon in which he describes the rite of passage ceremony he orchestrated for his son. May it inspire you to build one for your son too.
For assistance on how, check out thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Preparing your son involves self preparation as well
- Intuition and creative work brought forth a choreography to work with
- Key elements of the rite of passage
- Tokens or artifacts to refer back to
- Emersion in wildlife
- Eldership from prominent older men
- Tribal council — all men together for a ceremony
- Dinner table ritual
Vision quest, transitional space, death and rebirth, these words seem foreign, mystical even. They are certainly not the everyday vocabulary of a man. In sharing his own story, today’s guest, Andrew Boscaljon, is inviting men to reconsider and rediscover these themes. Join us for part two as we explore these ideas and connect them directly to the process of becoming a healthy and godly man.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Transition meaning thoughts:
-
- I and Thou (book by Martin Buber)
- Stepping outside of self for a time, into the wilderness to receive something new for self and others
- Experiencing the spiritual, connecting with the presence of God
- Christ was standing on the Truth of a living God and bringing people into the center
- Key scripture passage, Isaiah 58:12, no man is too broken to rebuild for himself and others
- The topic of death and rebirth has godly design
- Scripture is full of the death and rebirth theme: Revelation 3:18, John 16:33, John 15:13, Matthew 13:44
- Ideas and insights that are surfacing today:
-
- Less is more
- Just be and rest (being more than doing)
- Let’s get started on mission
- I’ve been to the wilderness and have brought back a message for my people
Vision quest, transitional space, death and rebirth, these words seem foreign, mystical even. They are certainly not the everyday vocabulary of a man. In sharing his own story, today’s guest, Andrew Boscaljon, is inviting men to reconsider and rediscover these themes. Join us as we explore these ideas together and connect them directly to the process of becoming a healthy and godly man.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- The path to the Vision Quest started 5-6 years earlier
- Thru studying Native American rites and rituals, a desire formed to find a wilderness experience
- What did Andrew find in the wilderness?
-
- Ongoing communication with Jesus
- Experience of true humility (an ego break)
- Gaining vision for what’s next
- Understanding how to have healthy relationship boundaries
- Often, when we’re looking for God he’s hard to find, and when we’re not he’s right there
- We are being rendered down, being perfected by Father
- Starving for love as a teen, Andrew heard the words of love but did not feel them
- This need prompted a quest to feel love, in music or friend’s home’s or saying “I love you” first
- Inherited passivity must be acknowledged and overcome
“Passivity has no place in the lexicon of true masculinity. None.” Do those words of John Eldredge reflect your life as a man? The way you’re raising your son? If not, then this episode is for you. Listen in as Mark looks at where passivity comes from, what it looks like, what’s at stake and how to overcome it.
Email us at: feedback@thenextmanup.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
4 Big Questions to Unravel:
- Where does passivity come from?
-
- Forgetting our identity as sons of Father
- What does passivity look like?
-
- Passivity is agnostic to personality
- It's an acquired mindset
- It may also present in some areas and not others
- What are the consequences of passivity?
-
- Choosing to reject courage, action, initiative, leading
- Gradually ceding of ground to others, or even the enemy
- Your growth as healthy and godly man is stunted
- Your son will not have the model he needs to become a godly and healthy man
- Your family is robbed of the leader it needs and deserves
- Your marriage will stagnate or deteriorate
- Choosing passivity rejects God's design and desire for you
- How do you overcome it?
-
- Remember who we are
- Rediscover the Jesus way of the warrior
- Decide and resolve
- Upskill
What if you thought of fatherhood like a game, one which had scores, one which you could learn to play, and play well? Back to finish our conversation about his life, his book and the work he’s doing to help men is Shannon Eads. Shannon is a husband, father, pastor, and now author who is working with men and fathers to help them grow in the fathering game and make a positive impact on the lives around them.
www.ministryformen.com
Winning the Fatherhood Game book
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- The book, Winning the Fatherhood Game, is for both men and fathers
- Baseball, for Shannon, was a way to see and travel America from his living room watching the games
- The 5 Scores that dads must master: Past, Present, Potential, Permanent, and Perfect
- When it comes to men and faith, there are two great needs, accountability and discipleship
- What if building our faith looked like how we build muscle or other skills, with a buddy to help us stay on track?
- Wives want their husbands to, 1) be the spiritual leader, 2) be present when they are at home
What if you thought of fatherhood like a game, one which had scores, one which you could learn to play, and play well? That’s the idea behind the work of today’s guest, Shannon Eads. Shannon is a husband, father, pastor, and now author who is working with men and fathers to help them grow in the fathering game and make a positive impact on the lives around them. And it all came together in the most unlikely season of his life.
www.ministryformen.com
Winning the Fatherhood Game book
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Psalms 91:1, an Anthem for Fatherhood
- Thru all the adversity, the greatest challenge was waiting for God to make his plans known, as well as seeing people suffer while helping them see that God is good
- Every father has an area in which he can improve
- God’s direction came in what seemed like the most unlikely season for it to come
- As men go, so goes the family, the church and the society
- When God reveals His plans for you, have the courage to do what God is asking you to do
Back for more on what it means to be a man, this time Mark turns his attention to honor. One small word with significant meaning and application for being a man. What is honor? Why does it matter? Why is Mark so taken with this word? The answers to those questions and a few more are what’s in store for this episode.
The whole Essentials of Manhood series to date: https://thenextmanup.com/?s=essentials+of+manhood
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Why Honor?
-
- Big idea word, one with many dynamics and application
- A simple idea with broad impact
- Principle to govern actions with others
- Resonated with me as one word that captures how I want to be as a man
- What Is Honor
-
- Respect and Esteem
- Right Conduct
- Rare Privilege
- Becoming Men of Honor
-
- Do the work; Lead by example
- Cast big vision for your boys; inspire them to got after it
- Continue to grow and don't settle for less
To be brave means to endure unpleasant or painful circumstances and not succumb to the fear they can produce. Today’s guest knows about living bravely because of the life events he’s experienced. Bob Gresh is an entrepreneur, author and co-founder of Born to Be Brave, a ministry offering live events and at-home resources which help fathers to engage with the brave life and invite their sons to follow.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Dads get it right by entering into life where their boy is
- Dads get it wrong when they don’t engage and aren’t transparent about their own struggles as a boy and as a man
- What’s at stake if dad’s don’t engage well? Society, boys, our culture will continue to erode
- Dads are anointed to be the father of the son(s) they’ve been given by God
-
It’s OK to be the dad; fathers can learn to trust their masculine intuition in leading the household and raising boys to become men
-
http://www.borntobebrave.com
- Social Media: @borntobebrave.com
To be brave means to endure unpleasant or painful circumstances and not succumb to the fear they can produce. Today’s guest knows about living bravely because of the life events he’s experienced. Bob Gresh is an entrepreneur, author and co-founder of Born to Be Brave, a ministry offering live events and at-home resources which help fathers to engage with the brave life and invite their sons to follow.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Born to Be Brave grew out of the True Girls ministry
- Engaging fathers is the heartbeat of the live events
- Family life growing up for Bob was quite dysfunctional
- A battle with pornography and the experience of being shunned revolutionized Bob’s life
- Awkwardness between father and son comes from shame, fear of hard questions, and outside pressure to be an “expert”
- 3 struggles we have as men, especially when looking at snapshots of the best of others — compare, campaign and compete
-
If you don’t lead with your limp, people will think you don’t have one
-
http://www.borntobebrave.com
- Social Media: @borntobebrave.com
A special and unique message for you as 2021 comes to a close. A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Christmas With The Chosen: https://youtu.be/UOTkTBxTxEA
- The Darkest Midnight: https://youtu.be/GTYN03lCC1M
For most of his life, Dave Ebert, comedian and improv artist, masked his deep depression and suicidal thoughts behind his gift of making people laugh. Humor was the way to hide how he truly felt inside. Until he saw his life as a moment of choice and that’s when everything changed. Now he uses comedy as a way to reveal the source of his gift and his transformed life.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Jesus, as a man, gives us clues into how men can embrace and navigate through negative emotions
- Emotions are not wrong; letting them control you and determine your actions can be
- Emotions create pressure; crying, laughing, yelling are all just overflows of emotion
- Our first reaction to the strong emotion should be to ask God what He is teaching us in the moment
- Funny moments in improv come from the moments of recognition
- Comedy provides a respite from the daily burdens; laughing creates a shared experience for everyone in the room
- The ultimate Creator give us permission and ability to be creative ourselves
- Creativity can be a gift and aid in fathering children
- Contact Dave:
-
- Email: dave@gifts4glory.com
- Website: wellversedcomedy.com
- Social: @wellversedcmdy
Laughter is a gift and a joy. But sometimes it can also be a mask to hide the pain. Today’s guest knows that all too well. For most of his life, Dave Ebert covered his depression with humor. He used it to make others feel better while disguising how he truly felt inside. All that changed with a choice. Now he uses comedy as a way to reveal the source of his gift and his transformed life.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- For Dave, making people laugh became the drug of his youth
- In high school, Dave battled depression and suicidal thoughts, plus shame as a result of those battles
- Today, Dave says, “I used to use humor to hide who I was. Now I use it to reveal who He is.”
- At the deepest point of depression, Dave faced a choice to take his life or give his life and he chose the give option
- Turning to Jesus did not resolve the depression overnight, it was a process of recovery
- Forgiveness for an ex-wife became a significant moment in the journey to become a godly man
- Contact Dave:
-
- Email: dave@gifts4glory.com
- Website: wellversedcomedy.com
- Social: @wellversedcmdy
Whether you see yourself as a leader or not, part of being a healthy and godly man is to be a leader. But what does that look like? How do you do lead well? In this latest installment of the Essentials of Manhood series, we explore the quality of leadership, good leadership, to help you lead yourself well so that you can lead your son (and others) well too.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Leadership can be learned (it isn't just genetically pre-wired to some)
- 4 Qualities:
-
- A leader knows where he's headed: He has a vision for what the future could look like.
- A leader takes initiative: Going somewhere requires movement and movement requires initiative.
- A leader serves others: Leadership without the service results in manipulating others for your own ends.
- A leader multiplies: When good leaders do their thing, the byproduct will be other good leaders stepping up to do their’s
- There is good and important work for us to be about and it’s time for us to step up as men and do it.
You know what gratefulness is. But how well do you practice it? And why does it even matter? Leaning on the words from other thought leaders and from his own journey of practicing this discipline, Mark looks at this idea in today’s episode.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Why does it matter
-
- Perspective -- keeps your focus away from just getting/using/consuming
- Contentment -- you are more than your circumstances; God's blessing is not measured by what you have or don't have
- Bigger vision -- God's kingdom seems upside down
- Modeling -- showing your son, your family, what it means
- How do you do it
-
- Mantras
- Journal
- Be fully present
- Grow your awareness to how most of the world lives
- Acts of kindness / gratefulness (Give it to others)
The phrase “Man Up” has not always been used in a beneficial way, but not when it comes to today’s guest. Jody Burkeen is a lot of things — husband, father, paster, business owner, author — but one thing he is not is unclear on his message, men need to man up God’s way. He’s back for part two of our conversation telling it like it is and calling men to, what else, man up.
website: manupgodsway.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Talking to men like men really starts by having a relationship with them
- The message of the gospel should wreck your world, eventually in a good way
- There is a freedom in following Jesus and letting him lead, following his footsteps
- Earthly fathers influence our view of Father God; discovering a proper understanding that God is so much more than our earthly father is critical to restoring our relationship with him
- The fellowship of other brothers is necessary to living the way God intended
- Men are simple and have by 5 problems — money, sex, wives, children and work; All surrounded by one big problem which is pride
- Sharing our testimony allows other guys to see we struggle with the same things
-
Big take away — belief in Jesus and his rescue mission for us is the starting point
-
Jody’s books (Amazon author page)
-
- Man Up! Becoming a Godly Man In an Ungodly World
- The Marriage Advance: 15 Answers to Question Men Won't Ask
- Pursuit of a Godly Life: Living Like Jesus Matters
- Website: manupgodsway.org
- Social Handle: @manupgodsway
Often, the phrase “Man Up” is misused or poorly defined, but not when it comes to today’s guest. Jody Burkeen occupies a number of different roles — husband, father, paster, business owner, author — but across all of them he is consistently clear in his message, men need to man up God’s way. He joins the show to talk about his story, the ministry work he’s doing, and what it means to talk to men as men.
Website: manupgodsway.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- As an atheist, Jody found a god he preferred — money
- The beauty of his children invited Jody to consider the Creator
- A wedding promise to take kids to church ultimately lead to Jody finding Jesus
- Though he wasn’t aware at the time, God had been guiding his steps long before Jody knew him
- Too many Christian men are spiritual sissies
- A pause from ministry work, to work on personal and home life, was a game changer; the work included:
-
- reading the bible for transformation, not just information;
- loving and caring for his wife better
- becoming a better parent
- reading, praying and living a repentant lifestyle
- The phrase Man Up is meant to be blunt but also biblical, which is why it includes God’s Way
“The glory of God is man fully alive.” That quote, by Saint Irenaeus, is an appropriate definition of our guest for this episode, Kirt Eldredge. Kirt is a husband, a father of two, and a warrior in the kingdom, and he joins us to share his story. But as you’ll see, what unfolds is more than just his father story. It’s actually a story about three different fathers.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Manhood is about being strong, but not in the way most guys think. It’s actually much bigger and harder. In this episode, Mark examines another essential quality of manhood — strength. And in typical fashion, he takes a different angle. Give us 15 minutes and we’ll give you a new way to look at what it means to be strong as a man.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- 4 Areas of Strength Beyond Just Physical:
- Mental Strength — Strength of Mind
- Emotional Strength — Strength of Heart
- Identity Strength — Strength of Being
- Spiritual Strength — Strength of Soul
- Possessing this strength makes building muscles look like child’s play
- This is what it means to be strong as a man
- Questions to reflect on:
- How strong are you?
- Which of these areas needs some work in your life?
- What is one thing you can commit to doing today to build more strength?
- From the blog:
- Essentials of Manhood — Strength (part 1)
- Essentials of Manhood — Strength (Part 2)
Today’s guest knows full well the impact a father can have on a son. Part 1 captured his story and the road to Higher Trek. In part 2, Christian Postel outlines the need for disciplining young men and how and why Higher Trek has been so successful in helping them become disciples of Jesus and fully engage in the mission. This is not another Sunday School program. It is something that changed his life and it’s one way he’s helping to change the lives of others.
https://highertrek.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Though you may not have a repaired relationship with your father,
-
- remember you are more than what’s happened to you (Ephesians 5:1 — Follow God’s example as His dearly loved children)
- realize you don’t have to make excuses for your father’s bad choices (counseling may be helpful)
- find the good in your dad and be grateful for it
- Higher Trek is about making disciples — knowing and being changed by Jesus so as to join his mission
-
- Jesus’ discipleship model is like an upside down funnel, starting small and expanding outward
- Emotional maturity is developed along with the spiritual maturity
- To connect with Higher Trek and Christian;
-
- https://highertrek.com
- 859.576.5392 Christian’s phone number
Today’s guest knows full well the impact a father can have on a son. Though his story is full of difficulty and misdirection today he is living a life of mission and impact due to the faithful efforts of a father figure and a discipleship program that changed his life. Christian Postel, former director of Higher Trek, joins us today to share his story and the work he’s doing to help young men become disciples of Jesus and fully engage in the mission.
https://highertrek.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- “My perception of God was developed through how I viewed my own dad.” A thousand miles away
- The pain of separation from father created a traumatic event that needed to be worked through later
- “Your past will either be Satan’s greatest weapon against you or God’s greatest tool for you. The choice is up to you.”
- While Freud suggested our purpose is to pursue pleasure, Viktor Frankel suggested purpose is about finding meaning in life
- A mentor’s willingness to handle all of Christian’s story was a turning point in the journey of growing in Christ
- Higher Trek was the path for Christian to become a true disciple
- As a Dad, Christian wants his kids to know, see, and feel that they are loved; “Time is fleeting and I’m going to be a dad who is present.”
You’ve heard the term and the command before, be men of integrity. But what does that really mean? What if it means more than just the do’s and don’ts you’ve associated with it? On this latest episode in the series of manhood essentials, we explore this quality and get into an advanced application to help you better understand it, live it, and raise your boy to do the same.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Integrity has often been defined by the do’s and don’ts
- Jesus’ rules were really 2: Love God & Love Others
- An expanded view of integrity, within Jesus’ instructions looks like:
-
- Be Moral — Strong foundations of principles, seeking to do the right thing
- Be Honest — Being truthful and free of deceit in all relationships, including with yourself
- Be Whole — Being consistent and whole in all the roles you fill; this is advanced application
- Guidance for your son:
-
- When young, give him healthy boundaries to abide by
- As he grows, help him understand the why behind the boundaries or rules of engagement
- As a teen (Apprentice), help him discover who he is and how to show up in a whole way
- Wherever you are, take a step further in being a man of integrity
Back again to finish the conversation about the pervasive and destructive problem of pornography is Ted Shimer. Ted is the founder of The Freedom Fight, an online pornography addiction recovery program. He is a long time mentor of young adults and is trained as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional-Supervisor. His background and training give him a unique and grounded approach to a holistic addiction recovery from porn.
https://thefreedomfight.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Best way to disclose to your wife is after 6 months clean and with a full confession
- Helping boys understand good pictures, bad pictures, private parts at an early age is important. Make it positive and de-shame the topic
- Create a conversation early so boys feel freedom to ask you about things they encounter
- If dad’s don’t fill in the blanks for their sons, the world will
- Good Pictures Bad Pictures book as a resource for young kids
- John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
- PIED — Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction — is a real thing for teenagers and young men
- Engaging your son starts with honesty about concern and what you’ve learned about this, while de-shaming the topic and letting him know you want to protect him
- Addiction deepens when it’s used to avoid (or medicate) negative emotions
- When the Apostle Paul addresses a person’s identity in Christ (in Ephesians), he is clear in confronting the greedy practice of sexual impurity
- https://thefreedomfight.org
- Ted’s book: The Freedom Fight
- YouVersion Bible App 30 Day Challenge: Freedom From Porn
Joining us to talk about the huge and pervasive issue of pornography is Ted Shimer. Ted is the founder of The Freedom Fight, an online pornography addiction recovery program. He is a long time mentor of young adults and is trained as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional-Supervisor. His background and training give him a unique and grounded approach to a holistic addiction recovery from porn.
https://thefreedomfight.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Sobering stats on pornography:
-
- 2019 report: Pornhub has had more than 42 billion total visits, 115 million daily visits and 170 years of new content created
- 1 in 5 mobile searches are for pornography
- 88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression
- The average age of first exposure to porn for a child is between 8-11 years old. Children under 10 now account for 22% of online porn consumption for those under 18
- 47% of all US families claim that pornography is an existing problem with someone in their home
- The adolescent brain is more susceptible to addictions and addictions at this age are more likely to lead to longer term addictions
- 1 Peter 2:11 “…abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”
- 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
- Guilt and shame are not the same:
-
- Guilt says “I’ve done something bad.”
- Shame says “I am bad.”
- The first step to healing is confessing to a trusted friend, a mentor or a pastor what’s going on. If you don’t have one of those men, ask God to reveal one to you.
Comfort is an idol.
That’s a statement I’ve been wresting with for a few months now and decided to explore on the podcast today. We were made to grow and growth requires discomfort. And yet comfort is a tempting alternative that invites us to settle for something less than we’re capable of or what we’ve been called to. Wondering if this might be describing you? Then listen in and find out.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- What comfort has become an idol for you?
- Invite God to illuminate where comfort has become an idol for you
- Idols are things keeping us from growing into the men we were created to be
- What role is comparison playing for you when thinking about comfort?
- What if a better comparison, when it comes to comfort, is an early follower of Jesus?
- How can you be a good steward of what you’ve been given, rather than use it for your own comfort?
- There is no growth in comfort; there is seldom comfort in growth
Today’s guest introduces himself this way: My name is Joey, and I am a recovering douchebag. After living the quintessential American man life (sort of), marriage and then starting a family prompted Joey Dumont to begin a 10 year journey of recovery. And then he decided to write a book about it. Joey joins us to talk about his journey, his book, and the life he’s living and loving now.
Joey Dumont: https://www.joeydumont.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- The book: Joey Somebody - Life and Times of a Recovering Douchebag
- Inspiration for the book was to give his sons a broader sense of who dad was
- Abuse from parents is hard to process as kids
- The recovery process started with admitting fear and asking for help
- A spiritual awakening was part of the recovery process
- Finding true love and having children reframed purpose away from self and toward others
- The recovery process is breaking the chain of abuse
- Joey’s Podcast: Laugh Your Cry Out
Be encouraged! That’s the message for you in this episode. There are enough things happening in your life, in your community, and in the world around us that are discouraging. Today, find some encouragement to keep going and growing on the journey of being and raising healthy and godly men.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
-
Things to do when you feel discouraged:
-
Remember, you are not alone
- Engage with other men
-
Engage more deeply with Father
-
A blessing for you:
May Father bless you and keep you;
May he make his face shine upon you;
May he captivate you with his love, overwhelm you with his peace, and fill you to overflowing with his joy;
Today and each day to come, Amen!
Communication Coach, Eric Terry returns to finish our discussion about how to divorce proof your marriage and prepare your son for his marriage. Eric’s candor about his own failures and the wisdom he gained in the process will help you become a better husband and father. Setting the bar higher, a thriving marriage free of arguing and fighting, is the goal and Eric is here to help you get there.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Changing your own behavior is key to improving the marriage; this is a man up moment
- To be a truly strong man is to lead in your relationship by becoming a better communicator
- When the husband leads the way it provides a sense of security for the wife
- If you want more for your marriage, take the first step to do and be better
- To help your son be prepared for his own marriage:
-
- Let him see your affection for your wife
- Allow him to ask questions and help him understand the why behind your actions
- Model for him what healthy communication looks like
- You will teach your son by your actions, whether positive or negative
- It’s worth it to put yourself in a vulnerable place to better your marriage
- Connect with Eric:
-
- https://www.facebook.com/eaterrysr
- @EricATerrySr
- Eric’s book: RealTalk — The Making of a Man
Want to know the secret to divorce proofing your marriage? Want to help your son be better prepared for marriage down the road? Communication Coach Eric Terry joins the show today to specifically answer those questions and many more. With candor about his failed marriage, as well as what's different with his second one, Eric will help you become a better husband and a better father as he shares his personal journey and the wisdom he’s gained in the process.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Dad modeled what manhood should look like, especially the work ethic; But he never showed how to resolve conflict
- Manhood required and began at the point of taking responsibility for your own actions
- Modeling conflict resolution with your wife is a gift to your children
- Just because you disagree doesn’t mean you have to argue
- Arguing cuts off our ability to listen for understanding
- Eliminating arguments is not the same as ignoring or avoiding conflict
- It’s not just what you say, it is how you say it
- Improving your relationship requires:
-
- Checking yourself first (It’s not what happens, it’s how we respond to it)
- Discover the real issue
- Ask what you can do to fix it
- The issue is usually not the issue; it’s how you communicate about the issue
- A good marriage is really about two selfless communicators; if you can communicate well, marriage is easy
- Connect with Eric:
-
- https://www.facebook.com/eaterrysr
- Social: @EricATerrySr
- Eric’s book: RealTalk — The Making of a Man
Cancel culture is a topic that is front and center for us today. It deserves to be addressed but not necessarily in the way you would expect. A familiar voice and good friend of TNMU, Alon Auguste, joins us again to do what he always does—speak into current culture with a timely and timeless message. It’s almost a guarantee that you haven’t engaged with this topic in the way Alon does. Which is why the rest of this conversation should be required listening.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Cancel culture is not new; People have been “cancelling” others for millennia
- Forgiveness, asking and giving, is part of counteracting the cancel culture
- When you’ve been cancelled, navigating through that requires
-
- A bigger view of your identity (you are more than your circles)
- Self reflection and owning your mistakes
- Challenge and question and press the ability and permission to disagree
- Recognize that social media or electronic platforms are not ideal for dialogue
- Choosing a better way requires greater strength and power
- We get to choose whose voice we listen to
- Justice requires love and love requires justice
- We have a moment to make an impact by showing a different way
Cancel culture is a topic that is current and deserves to be addressed. Bringing back a familiar voice is a good way to do it. Alon Auguste joins us again to do what he always does—speak into current culture with a timely and timeless message. It’s almost a guarantee that you haven’t engaged with this topic in the way Alon does in this episode. Which is why no matter your understanding of this cultural issue, this episode is a must listen.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Cancel culture is exiling someone for their actions or statements, regardless of when it happened
-
- The desire for justice is admirable, the method is flawed
- It reduces people to their very worst moment
- Cancel culture is not a solution for utopia
- What we really need is Jesus and his kingdom
- The problems with cancel culture runs deeper than differences in political or economic structures; it’s about how we’re treating each other as fellow humans
- Teaching a better way starts by us (fathers) modeling it for our boys
- What if we taught our boys to see more, to see hope and build hope in those around them?
Responsibility was given to man in the very story of creation. In so doing, God communicated that being responsible is part of being a man. But what does that look like? What does responsibility mean and how do we live it out. Spend the next 15 minutes with us and we’ll help you answer those questions, both for you and for your son.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Responsibility is essential to being a man; but it’s more than simply following rules
- Responsibility, in part, means: the opportunity to act independently and make decisions without authorization
- Responsibility also means: the duty to deal with something or being accountable or to blame for something
- Responsibility was part of the Creation story; Adam was given responsibility in the garden
- Responsibility is more than blind obedience; it is doing what is ours to do
- Where do you need to step into more responsibility in your life?
- For further reading: https://thenextmanup.com/essentials-of-manhood-responsibility/
What does it mean to be courageous? What does courage look like in your life? If we’re not careful, we can miss the importance of courage to being a man or we can misunderstand what real courage looks like. Give us 15 minutes and we’ll help you reconnect with what true courage is and why it is so important for you to foster and embrace.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Courage is an essential quality of manhood
- Courage is also misunderstood; it is not synonymous with fearlessness or extreme acts
- Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens you; strength in the face of pain or grief
- Courage is acknowledging your fear and then choosing to move past it
- Courage is in, but not limited to, the big and heroic acts
- Courage is also in the small acts no one ever sees
- What would courage look like for you today?
- For further reading: https://thenextmanup.com/essentials-of-manhood-courage/
What is real manhood? Today’s guest has an answer. Eric Browning is a man, father, leader, and legacy bearer. In 2014 he forged the father-son ministry Sand to Stone as a way to provide fathers the environment and tools to communicate biblical manhood, and sons, a clear pathway to embrace and mark their journey. Browning uses a combination of father led outdoor adventure, competition, contemplation, and ceremony to set the stage for men to raise up future men, for Gods kingdom.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Identity is not in what others think or say or want of me; It is centered in Christ
- Even with the best intentions for kids, it is only the Holy Spirit who will change them
- There was an order to creation and a role for man to carry out
-
- Man was first to receive God’s truth and then was tasked to share it and pass it on
- 4 Core Values for Sand 2 Stone Men:
-
- God’s Truth
- Protectors
- Faith
- Legacy
- 10 Principles of real manhood:
-
-
- Real men serve God first and foremost
-
- Real men are fully committed to their work
-
- Real men respect authority and women
-
- Real men maintain integrity
-
- Real men embrace empathy
-
- Real men defend and protect boldly
-
- Real men act courageously
-
- Real men are willingly accountable
-
- Real men live for a transcendent cause
-
- Real men embody humility
-
- Getting older is mandatory; growing up is optional
- Connect with Sand 2 Stone at: www.sand2stone.us and info@sand2stone.us
What is real manhood? Today’s guest has an answer. Eric Browning is a man, father, leader, and legacy bearer. In 2014 he forged the father-son ministry Sand to Stone as a way to provide fathers the environment and tools to communicate biblical manhood, and sons, a clear pathway to embrace and mark their journey. Browning uses a combination of father led outdoor adventure, competition, contemplation, and ceremony to set the stage for men to raise up future men, for Gods kingdom.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Our earthly Dads form our earliest images and understanding of God
- When manhood isn’t clearly defined boys don’t know what they’re aiming for
- The seed for future ministry was planted well before it came to be; much of it nurtured by a fellow man willing to pour into Eric
- The ministry was really born from a desire to do the right thing, be a great dad, and raise a future man
- Ministry name, Sand 2 Stone, inspired by how Jesus invited Simon to become Peter in John 1:40-42 (www.sand2stone.us)
- Adventures create discomfort, which has multiple benefits
-
- Enjoyment of discovering God’s creation in nature
- Life lessons happen by being in nature
- Nature humbles us and reminds us of our frailty
- Exposes where comfort has stunted growth and potential
- Provides a healthy risk for the boys
- Comfort can become an idol
- In this virtual age, don’t neglect to embrace and experience the real thing
Whether your father was a great example or a lousy one, you will have a moment where your son will need something from you that you never received from your dad.
How do you do that? How do you give to your son something you never received from your father? That question, from one of our listeners, is what Mark addresses in this latest episode.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Grieve what wasn't or will never be, so that you can let it go and move on
-
- Resources to help: counseling, coaching, mentor, community of other men
- Recognize that God the Father is the perfect father
-
- Resources to help: Fathered by God by John Eldredge, Not Forsaken by Louie Giglio
- How have you learned to do something new?
-
- Resources to help: community of other men, mentors, older/wiser fathers
- Dads leave a huge impact; It’s up to you what you do with yours
This episode continues the incredible story of Dr. Joe Martin. Joe’s life can be summarized in one simple sentence: “He went from rags to riches to ruined to redemption.” Having it all by age 30, losing it all by age 40, and gaining it all back by age 50. He now hosts a top rated podcast for Christian Men and helps men write their own life comeback stories of redemption.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- realmenconnect.com / rmcfree.com
- Dr. Joe Martin: from Rags to Riches to Ruined to Redemption
- Forgiveness was huge in the Ruined to Redemption process, forgiving others and self
- Forgiveness is ongoing
- R. T. Kendall: Total Forgiveness and How To Forgive Ourselves Totally
- An encounter with God changed everything: “You can’t hate you more than I love you.” “Everything you did my son died for that too.”
- Brokenness was required before the breakthrough
- To now have a daughter through a new marriage is an undeserved gift of God
- Renewing your mind starts with a real relationship with God and then being in community with other likeminded men
The story you are about to hear is almost impossible to believe. And yet it happened and it’s told by the one who experienced it all, Dr. Joe Martin. Joe’s life can be summarized in one simple sentence: “He went from rags to riches to ruined to redemption.” Having it all by age 30, losing it all by age 40, and gaining it all back by age 50. He now hosts a top rated podcast for Christian Men and helps men write their own life comeback stories.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- realmenconnect.com / rmcfree.com
- Dr. Joe Martin: from Rags to Riches to Ruined to Redemption
-
- Rags: Growing up poor, neglected and abused in “the hood”
- Riches: Early financial and business success in his 20’s
- Ruined: Losing it all — success, wealth, marriage, and almost his own life
- Redemption: Rediscovering his identity in Christ and now helping men write their comeback stories
- Shame was keeping Joe from being honest with his family, about abuse and choices
- The issue wasn’t about sex, it was about identity; the trauma became the truth
- Addictions are the wrong solution to a deeper problem
When someone suggests there’s a better way to parent, we’re intrigued and pay attention. Sometimes there’s wisdom there and sometimes it’s nonsense. And, of course, sometimes there’s both. A recent article from The Atlantic is just such an example. Based on research about parenting from other very different cultures, there are a few things we can learn and some things we should challenge.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Source article: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/03/hunt-gather-parent-timeless-advice-for-modern-parents/618172/
-
- Based on a book by Michaeleen Doucleff: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
- Parenting without yelling is a skill that can be developed
- Pacing approach could be helpful, but motivation is the key
- A disciplined response is better than a default response
- Praise is important, but should be tied to effort vs results, and you can give too much
- Allo-parenting refers to community based parenting; can undermine significance of nuclear parenting if “community” means “institutions”
- It’s important to know kids are irrational and illogical, because they’re undeveloped
- At the same time, they also learn how to manipulate at a very early age
- Who is the adult/parent in the room?
- A family-centric philosophy serves parents, kids, and communities better than a kid-centric approach
In this latest installment of Mark’s Musings, Mark talks about a recent conversation with his kids in which they shared about some of their experience growing up. From that conversation emerged 4 things that, upon reflection, he wish he would have known back then. Maybe, by sharing them with you today, you can benefit from this learning and incorporate it into how you’re raising your son.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- 4 Things I Wish I Knew Back Then
-
- Let them fail more
-
- Failure isn’t so fatal as I used to think
- They are learning opportunities
- Let them see us “fight”
-
- Conflict in marriage is normal
- Letting them see us fight could have taught them how to do it in a healthy way
- Teach them about EQ
-
- Emotional Intelligence starts awareness of emotions
- Managing and choosing emotions is the goal of EQ
- Talk openly about fear
-
- Acknowledge fear so it won’t control you
- Foster courage to overcome
- Share wisdom with your kids, regardless of their age
“Without a guide to show us the way, we end up off, to some degree or another.” That’s one insight that came from part 2 of the conversation about forging extraordinary men with Phillip Vanderford, Battalion Commanding Officer with ALERT Academy. His passion and the work that he’s doing for ALERT is making a difference in the lives of hundreds of young men. Join us in this episode as we get deeper in to how they make it happen and why this might be a good fit for your son.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- ALERT is about forging extraordinary men who will influence their world for Christ
- https://alertacademy.com
- Discipleship is foundational to the overall development of the guys at the academy
- Some consistent themes that present in the guys regularly
-
- Self focused perspective
- Fatherlessness, whether fathers absent or not
- The desire to be a man is wired in, but requires a guide to show the way
- ALERT is made for:
-
- Guys who are motivated, teachable and self aware. They excel.
- Guys who are self focused and lack awareness. They benefit the most.
“I’m not a man because I can prove myself as a big, tough, macho guy. It’s more about what’s happening inside of me.” That’s just one of the insights that comes from this conversation with Phillip Vanderford, Battalion Commanding Officer with ALERT Academy. His passion for helping young men pursue Christ and His kingdom comes through in an inspiring way, both in his own story and the work he’s doing to help forge extraordinary men.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- ALERT Academy (Air, Land, Emergency Resource Team)
- Finding identity key part of journey to manhood; but sometimes it drives a need to perform and prove
- Authority is not synonymous with leadership
- The blessing and affirmation of a father is a desire that every guy has and never outgrows
- Other mentors in a boy’s life can play a powerful role
- ALERT is about forging extraordinary men who will influence their world for Christ
- https://alertacademy.com
Can an expanding family become an opportunity for promotion? It can when you approach it with an initiation mindset. When seen through this lens, brotherhood becomes much more than just competition for resources once wholly owned. It is now a promotion into a bigger and more meaningful role. And this can serve as a template for future promotion opportunities all along his journey to manhood.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- A new sibling allows opportunity to promote a boy into the responsibility of brotherhood
- Initiation can be a mindset, which incorporates all seasons of change for their preparation and benefit
- Natural experiences and development can be purposed for man training, reinforcing the qualities of manhood dads are fostering
- If you know where you’re guiding your boy, you can see everyday experiences as ways to help him get there
- Location can create a more special and meaningful experience for these mini-promotions
- You can speak life into your kids, and see them respond positively
- Have a vision for where you are guiding your boys so that you can leverage natural seasons and stages to execute on that vision
Although boys don’t automatically become men, there are stages that they pass through in their growth and development. Borrowing language and references from learning to be a master craftsman, we talk about 4 distinct stages boys progress through in their journey of becoming the men they were created to be. And when you understand and cooperate with those stages it makes you an even more effective father.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
4 Keys Stages of Manhood:
- Novice (0-12)
-
- Experiencing life as a boy, becoming more and more curious about what it means to be a man
- He needs engagement, nurturing, preparation for next stage
- Apprentice (13-18)
-
- Asking questions like “what is a man”, or “how do I become a man?”
- Ideal age for the initiation process
- He needs guiding, training, and releasing
- Journeymen (19-30’ish)
-
- Responsibility shift for him from learning to doing
- He needs encouragement, support, partnership
- Master (30+)
-
- Like a black belt, there’s mastery but the learning continues
- See Fathered By God for a more in depth look
- Still needs love, affirmation and encouragement
- Familiarity and cooperation with these stages will help you as a dad
-
- Work in current stage to prepare him for the next
- Recognize how your role shifts with each stage
- Remember: relationship first, love always
Ray Ellis is a man on a mission, to bring awareness to the dark side of pornography and what’s really behind this multi-billion industry. And he’s also quite clear on what’s at stake. His story has led him here and now he’s working to make a difference. Ray has the heart of a pastor and the experience of a cop which makes him uniquely qualified to address this elephant in the room.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Uncovering the connection between pornography and sex related crimes
- Pornography education starts in the home
- Young people are taking cues about adult behavior from exposure to sexual content
- Pornography is a big business, and the victims are both the customers and the products
- Human trafficking and pornography are inextricably linked together
- Freedom starts with facing your own sin and dealing with it
- Addressing this issue starts with acknowledging and dealing with it as sin
- Steve Gallagher, At the Alter of Sexual Idolatry
- Freedom requires confession to God and others
- 3 stages or rebuilding: Empathy for the other person, Physiological healing, Spiritual reconciliation
- Ray Ellis:
-
- Email: rayellisauthor@gmail.com
- Youtube: Ray Ellis Podcast (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmpcz4doVOZ8Qt0p5DxJMBQ)
- Facebook & Twitter: @rayellisauthor
- Books: https://www.amazon.com/Ray-Ellis/e/B004SYOFCS%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
This episode is a bonus 3rd segment from the conversation with Ray Ellis, in which he describes The Blessing, an initiation process he guided his kids through. May it encourage and inspire you to guide your children on their journey as well.
Book: The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
When Ray Ellis was 16 he vowed he would never do 3 specific things. Little did he know they would all happen and become important parts of the man he is today. Ray is an ordained pastor, retired police officer, an author, and an advocate for healthy manhood. He’s also a husband, father, and now grandfather. In this conversation, we discover who Ray is, how he got to what he’s doing today and why that work is so important to him.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- The significance of healthy father figures, even when your own father is absent
- You become a legal adult at 18, but you become a man by choice
- Without proper guidance, males will revert to violence or hyper-sexualization to prove manhood
- Ray’s 3 “I will never …” statements (spoiler alert, they all happened)
- Growing up in the post Jim Crow era Alabama
- Diverse ethnic friends was formational in Ray’s development
- Embracing manhood effects every part of who you are
- Ray Ellis:
-
- Email: rayellisauthor@gmail.com
- Youtube: Ray Ellis Podcast (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmpcz4doVOZ8Qt0p5DxJMBQ)
- Facebook & Twitter: @rayellisauthor
- Books: https://www.amazon.com/Ray-Ellis/e/B004SYOFCS%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
The need for males to be initiated into adulthood seems to be written into the laws of how our universe operates. This is both in the human kingdom and in the animal kingdom. A sampling of stories from various animal species supports this idea. In this episode Mark and Josh share some of their favorite initiation examples from the animal kingdom.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Initiation of males into adulthood is part of the fabric of creation
- The more complex the social structure, the more necessary initiation is
- Elephants in Africa:
-
- Juvenile males learn restraint and proper behavior from bull males
- https://thenextmanup.com/the-case-for-initiation-inspired-by-pachyderms/
- http://thesestonewalls.com/gordon-macrae/in-the-absence-of-fathers-a-story-of-elephants-and-men/
- Wolves of Yellowstone
-
- Culture and wisdom must be passed to the next generation or it will be lost
- https://thenextmanup.com/the-wisdom-of-wolves/
- Surprise guest appearance from the chickens
- Regent Honeyeaters from Australia:
-
- Juvenile males must learn mating songs from adult males
- https://apnews.com/article/endangered-birds-lose-song-no-mates-f38f5c97cccc50cba1e884a907db13d8
-
Our initiation course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
You are already working hard to provide for your family. But working hard is more than providing financially. It’s a whole lot more. In this latest Mark’s Musings, Mark offers 3 ways to get a bigger vision for what it means and to help you better fulfill your role as a man, husband, and father.
Also, check out our new home at the NRT Podcast Network: https://www.newreleasetoday.com/podcasts.php
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Working hard for your family is more than making money for their needs
- 3 ways to get a bigger vision:
-
- Work hard on your own growth: physically, emotionally, and spiritually
- Work hard on your family relationships: with each person individually
- Work hard on spiritually training your kids: scripture references include Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4, Joshua 24:15, Deuteronomy 6:7
- Model for your family what working hard looks like by:
-
- Working hard on yourself
- Working hard to love and serve others
What rules are important to teach your son? What are the things you want him to know before he launches? Do you have a list? Are you looking for some more ideas to add to your list? Someone on Facebook provided a list of 32 rules which is an interesting compilation to debate and discuss, so Mark and Josh decided to do just that in today’s episode.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
NEW Forging Men Video Course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
NRT Podcast Network: https://www.newreleasetoday.com/podcasts.php
Expanded Notes:
-
Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
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Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
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The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
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In a negotiation, never take the first offer.
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Request the late check-out.
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When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
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Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
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Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
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Play with passion or don’t play at all.
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Always protect your siblings.
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Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
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If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
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Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
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You marry the girl, you marry her family.
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Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
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Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
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Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
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Never turn down a breath mint.
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A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
-
Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
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Stand on principle.
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Eat lunch with the new kid.
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After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
-
Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
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Manners maketh the man.
-
Give credit. Take the blame.
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Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
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Write down your dreams.
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Remember at times the rain must fall for us to appreciate the sun.
-
Be confident and humble at the same time.
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Be the bridge builder.
-
If ever in doubt, remember whose SON you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
Bruxy Cavey: https://www.bruxy.com
The examples of Alpha Males today are almost always biased to aggressive, macho, harsh, uncaring. While that may be what’s on display, it’s not consistent with the example found in nature, specifically with wolves. The Alpha of the wolf pack is so much more and worthy of studying further for a more complete picture of what it means to be a pack leader. Mark and Josh examine this idea courtesy of the Sawtooth Wolf Pack.
NEW Forging Men Video Course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Defining what the traditional view of an alpha looks like
- The idea of alpha comes from pack animals, such as wolves, but it’s been misunderstood
- The Wisdom of Wolves, by Jim & Jamie Dutcher
- Conclusions from wolf pack life:
- The lone wolf doesn’t last long without a pack; the alpha is a pack leader
- The alpha shoulders the responsibility for the wellbeing of the pack
- Over aggressiveness, bullying, belittling are symptoms of a weak and insecure leader with a strong shell of self protection
- The alpha needs the omega to initiate play and diffuse tension
- The alpha recognizes the need for pack members and the important roles they play
- Younglings are allowed to be pups and simultaneously watched over, providing what they need to be fully functioning pack member
- An alpha is aware of what individual pack members needs are
- Good to Great, Jim Collins
- Jesus’ story about the dysfunction between two boys and their dad: The Story of the Lost Son
- From the blog: Three Lessons On Leading Your Family From The Wisdom Of Wolves
How do you know when your kid is ready for travel sports? How do you know when you’re ready, as a family, for the commitment? How do you find the right team? These are the questions guests Jon Couser and Craig Fullen will take on in part 2 of our chat about the world of travel sports. Once again, they’re full of wisdom and personal stories and will guide you through a decision making process that is spot on.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
NEW Forging Men Video Course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
Expanded Notes:
- How do you know your kid is ready for travel sports?
- How do you know when you, or your family, is ready?
- How do you decide on a team?
- Understanding the “why” is critical
- What’s at stake if you make the decision for the wrong reasons or get into the wrong fit?
- When parents and coach are not aligned on expectations, things go bad.
- Ideal parental role is to just love your kid, regardless of performance or circumstances
- What story will you tell through travel sports?
- Andy Stanley resources
Opportunities for competitive kids activities beyond school and rec teams (aka travel sports) have never been greater. Yet so many families don’t understand what they’re getting into, or more importantly why they join a team. Two of our most popular guests, Craig Fullen and Jon Couser, return to the show to breakdown this topic and help you think through the process of knowing whether travel sports are right for your child and your family.
NEW Forging Men Video Course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Positive Coaching Aliance: positivecoach.org
- Reasons for the rise in travel sports popularity
- FOMO is a big underlying motivator for parents
- Breaking down the big Pros & Cons
-
- Pros: allows passions to be pursued and provides more experienced instruction
- Cons: much higher cost ($ and time), plus increased competition
- What is your motivation to play, what is the big why?
- A big question that’s not being asked by parents: What is your coaching philosophy?
- The Matheny Manifesto
Back for another Mark’s Musings, Mark turns his attention this time to the story, The Letter For The King. While the book elicits one reaction, the Netflix show prompts the complete opposite. In fact, the show stands in sharp contrast to so much of what we promote and encourage at The Next Man Up. Want to know why? Take a listen and find out.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- New Video Course: https://thenextmanup.com/forgingmen
- Book: The Letter For The King, by Tonke Dragt
- Excellent book, disappointing TV show
- 3 Big Reasons the show fails:
-
- The valiant men are missing
- The squires disappoint
- It’s not period appropriate
- Remember to examine the messages within the media
- Look for things that inspire and celebrate what it means to be a good man
Back to finish the conversation on becoming an unobstructed version of who you are is Chris McAlister. Chris is an author, speaker, husband and father, and he’s the founder of Sightshift, a company helping ambitious people be courageous and kind. Chris covers a lot of ground in this episode so buckle up and let’s go.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- More often than not, men build identity around doing while women build identity around relationships
- Big goal: the unobstructed version of who you are
- Over and over, the “cave” you don’t want to go into is where you will find the treasure
- Manhood today seems to fall into 2 extremes: the one who gives up all his desires for the sake of family and the other who doesn’t; however both are external celebrations
- Recognizing and overcoming the moments of insecurity
- Additional resources:
-
- https://www.sightshift.com/podcast (first 12 episodes)
- Book: Figure That Shift Out
Chris McAlister joins the show today in a frank and fast paced conversation. Chris is an author, speaker, husband and father, and he’s the founder of Sightshift, a company helping ambitious people be courageous and kind. In part one we go back into Chris’ story of becoming and retrace the painful and courageous path he’s followed to get to where he is today.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Chris begins his story describing the impact his father had on him
- Calling to support leaders evident at a young age
- Developing a false sense of manhood through professional achievements in his 20’s
- The character formation in his 30’s was much harder than the previous decade
- Corporate institutions today are now carrying the responsibility for initiation into adulthood
- Life changing question: What if who I am and what I do are not the same thing?
- Rediscovering the story of Eli and Samuel
- The goal of parenting is not to tell kids who to be, but come beside who they’re becoming
In this latest installment of Mark’s Musings, Mark reflects on the recent experience of his oldest son’s wedding and offers 4 quick insights that this experience brings up to help you grow in your fathering. Whether a wedding for your boy is years away or already behind you, tune in for some wisdom here to help you in your fathering journey.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- 4 Insights:
-
- This experience was a return on years of investment, and we couldn’t be more proud
- I met the answer to my prayers, both the daughter-in-law and her parents
- Once again, the initiation process helped me to see that we’re not grieving we have to let him go, but celebrating with him in this event
- My role has changed again, now being a peer and advisor to them both, as well as learning what it means to be a father-in-law
- Remember, it is never too late to invest into the relationship with your son because he so longs for your love and affection
Maybe Valentine’s Day is a thing for you, maybe it isn’t. But if you’re raising boys, sooner or later it will be for them. Let’s face it, guiding them thru the dating years is challenging, but it’s not impossible. In fact, you can do it well. Join Josh & Mark as they explore this topic and some practical ways you can be the guide your boy needs thru this area of his life.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- While Mark dislikes Valentine’s Day, Josh looks at it as Christmas for the relationship
- Teen romance has such a strong sexual undercurrent, whether thru content from a hyper-sexualized culture or parent’s attempts to protect their kids from making mistakes
- Elevate the conversation with your boy by talking about where these desires come from and how they fit into bigger picture
- 3 pieces of advice for dads:
- Honor, serve, and romance your wife well; model for your son
- Life Lessons from Dad: fun yet poignant moments of teaching on the fly or with forethought, providing cues on how to treat girls (be creative and humorous as you communicate wisdom)
- Teach your boy to honor his future wife, long before he even knows who she is
- Healthy relationships are mutually beneficial; leading with a serve the other first mentality is a great place to start
- This is another opportunity to set the bar higher for your son
- The fundamental unit of human relationship is family, and it’s an everyday thing you’re building all the time
While New Year’s resolutions are a popular thing to do, they don’t consistently produce the desired results. Why is that? What’s missing? Mark & Josh tackle this one today with the hope that you’ll quit your resolutions, at least the incomplete process, and begin to pursue a better way for identifying who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. And then make it happen.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Most popular New Year’s resolutions involve health and fitness
- How to Fail At Almost Everything and Still Win Big, by Scott Adams
- Sometimes we can be afraid of the failure of not meeting our goals
- Others are intimidated by putting something out there to be accountable to
- Revisiting goals might require revisiting fear and failure
- Organization cultures often squelch goals and stretching by not rewarding effort and punishing failure
- If goals are not your superpower, start first with examining your mindset
- Your goal statement should specifically spell out what success looks like (for example S.M.A.R.T. Goals)
- See goal attempts as more than win or lose, rather win and learn; it’s process building
- Be clear on your motivation: why does the goal matter? Tie it to a bigger mission.
- Review them regularly
- “People lose their way when they lose their why.” Michael Hyatt
When manhood is tied to and dependent on performance, then mistakes are not only not wanted, they aren’t allowed. Period. Because mistakes put your manhood at risk. When that is the framework, destructive things happen. Going beyond the attention grabbing headlines, Mark & Josh use current events to explore this idea more deeply.
Article: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/01/13/ex-chief-of-staff-john-kelly-donald-trump-sees-admitting-mistake-threat-manhood-capitol-impeachment/6652338002/
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- When manhood is tied to never being wrong, there is a problem
- Male culture is savage against those who appear weak
- Without a healthy and godly understanding of manhood, we try to prove it in destructive ways
- Being wrong, making mistakes is not synonymous with being weak
- You can be strong and wrong and healthy
- OODA Loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act
- Both strength and weakness must be properly defined
- The ability to recognize and admit a mistake is a sign of mental and emotional strength, not weakness
- In many organizations, admitting a mistake is the equivalent of “career suicide”, this is not healthy
- We must rediscover a healthy and godly manhood
It’s time for the Money Talk, part 2. Back once again is guest Kent Irwin, Pastor of Financial Stewardship at Vineyard Columbus. This time, we look at money from the perspective of dad and mom. You already have a desire for your kids to succeed; giving them the tools to manage money well is a key component of making that happen. But how do you do that well? Listen in and find out.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Big challenges parents face today with kids and money:
- Parents are seen as ATM for the kids
- Suggestions for goals with kids:
- Putting “fences” around money
- Model as parents desired behavior for kids
- Prepare kids to have a plan when 18 (giving them increased responsibility for their decisions)
- Establish giving, saving, and spending goals
- Give them a budget to manage on their own (their money, their choices)
- Debt is a form of slavery, though not all debt is the same
- Avoiding consumer debt leads to more wealth, more generosity and less stress
- Teaching kids about money is part of raising adults
- Model for your kids and let them see your process
- Some good next steps to grow as husband and father
- Start with some open and nonjudgemental communication with wife
- Establish plans to learn and grow together, such as financial coaches or Dave Ramsey content
- Suggested resources:
- Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey
- The Millionaire Next Door, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko
- Debt Proof Living, and Seven Money Rules for Life, Mary Hunt
- Managing God’s Money, Randy Alcorn
- Contact Kent at kent.irwin@vineyardcolumbus.org
It’s time for the Money Talk. And for this topic, we bring in guest Kent Irwin, Pastor of Financial Stewardship at Vineyard Columbus. In part 1 of this conversation, we look at money from the perspective of husband and wife and how getting things right with your money goes a long way toward getting things right in your marriage.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Grounding in the idea of stewardship, including but not limited to finances
- Kent’s early career geared toward a shift toward ministry
- Finances are an indicator of what people believe
- Big challenges people face today with regard to money:
- Consumer culture and instant gratification
- Image culture
- Childhood upbringing
- Motivation for career choice
- How we view ourselves
- Instant gratification and easy credit
- Marriage conflict around money can take different forms, often it is competing against one another
- Suggestions to overcome conflict:
- Discuss individual and joint money goals
- Celebrate and support individual goals
- Decide and commit on joint goals
- Get to know your spouse thru this and give the process time to produce transformation
- How you work together with your finances is an indication of the quality of your relationship
Welcome to the new year! As you think about and plan for what this new year will hold for you, Mark challenges you to ponder this question for your son: Who is your son becoming? In this season of anticipating a new year, here are 3 suggestions to help you answer this big question for your boy.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
- Key Question: Who is your son becoming?
- Suggestions:
- Get a vision, for the man he will be
- Get a grip, on the role you play as his guide (he is the hero)
- Get a clue, about how he is wired and his natural interests and abilities
- New Year Blessing: May this year be one of adventure, exploration and deep connection with who you are as a man and a father and with your entire family.
Merry Christmas to you and yours NMU community! Thanks for a great year on the podcast. We’ll see you again in ’21!
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Opening up their reading list, Mark & Josh highlight some favorites from this year, what they’re currently reading, and what’s on their read next list. From Benjamin Franklin to sci-fi, from personal development to business growth, this episode captures a wide ranging list of books to choose from in the coming year.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
-
Mark’s 2020 Favs:
-
The Traveler’s Gift, by Andy Andrews
-
Ender’s Game, Ender In Exile, Speaker For The Dead, by Orson Scott Card
-
Fathered By God, by John Eldredge
-
On Mark’s Nightstand Currently:
-
Becoming A King, by Morgan Snyder
-
Dream Big, by Bog Goff
-
What’s Next For Mark:
-
Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown
-
Essentialism, by Greg McKeown
-
Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman
-
Josh’s 2020 Favs:
-
Last of the Breed, by Louis L’Amour
-
The War of Art; Turning Pro; Do the Work, by Steven Pressfield
-
On Josh’s Nightstand Currently:
-
The Benedict Option, by Rod Dreher
-
Building the Benedict Option, by Leah Libresco
-
What’s Next For Josh:
-
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
-
The Quest For Authentic Manhood, by Robert Lewis
What role does Santa play? Some are all in and some are not and many find a space in between. Whether you do or whether you don’t, Mark and Josh have some fun with this topic. If you’re deciding now as a family or your kids are aging out, there are a few ideas here that may help you as you navigate this topic.
Website: When Santa Learned The Gospel book
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
-
Some families choose not to engage in Santa Clause because of concern it will undermine their credibility when it comes to other “mysterious” things (like Jesus)
-
A new idea is to invite kids into the Santa Clause group as they age out, drafting them into the club and helping them see value of giving to others
-
Rather than a disillusionment experience, it becomes an empowering experience for kids growing out of believing in Santa
-
This idea is right in line with initiating boys into manhood
-
Another resource is the book When Santa Learned The Gospel
-
Whether you do or you don’t, decide and do with intention, rather than just default
Words have power. Written words have staying power. And for Blake Brewer, written words changed his life. Specifically, words written to him by his father in a letter he received on the worst day of his life. What happened that day, and what happened next, is an unbelievable story you don’t want to miss.
Website: https://www.legacyletterchallenge.com/
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
On this latest installment of Mark’s Musings, Mark gets real about Thanksgiving 2020. Very little about this year’s celebration is like last year. Some of that was planned. Much was not. When circumstances seem against you or when your plans have not played out the way you desired, that’s when gratitude matters most.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Want to know the 3 unique ideas Mark suggests regularly to new dads? They’re probably not what you’d expect. But they’re sure to enhance your parenting experience and deepen your connection with your kids.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, author, and speaker Morgan Snyder joins us for one of the best conversations we’ve had on the show. It starts and ends with this idea of becoming, and 2 central questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming. This episode is a must listen!
Website: becomingaking.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes:
-
Becoming is a central theme for men
-
2 key questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming?
-
Male initiation is part of our spiritual growth
-
Every great story borrows from the gospel, which is meant to be the greatest story of our lives
-
The image of God (imago dei) is evident in the power that boys & men display or pursue
-
Initiation is about learning how to use that power to bless others
-
The pocket knife as a metaphorical and literal demonstration of power
-
We live in a world at war, where it’s hard to be a man (staying true to the process of initiation)
-
The magic of the kingdom of God is made available in everyday life
Mark and Josh continue the discussion on busyness in this episode, with a specific focus on why we are so busy. Busyness is a symptom of a deeper issue. But what is that issue? What is it that drives us to an unhealthy place of too much activity? It comes down to one thing.
Blog Article: https://thenextmanup.com/why-am-i-so-busy/
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes For This Episode:
- Busyness is a symptom, it’s not the deeper issue
- The cause of busyness is rooted in fear
- Some of the fears at the source of our busyness
- FOMO; there can be positive motivation to FOMO, but this is the negative side, a misplaced fear of missing out on things that are not the most important things
- Fear of Saying No; The underlying question is, “If I say no, what will they think of me?”
- Fear of Not Being Enough; We live like human doings, but we’re made as human beings;
- When God the Father blesses Jesus at his baptism, it’s a reminder for him and for us of our value and worth (Matthew 3)
Being busy can seem like a state of being as a parent. And there are so many things that kids can be into these days. But how much it too much? How do you know when your kids are too busy? Mark and Josh discuss some ways to know if there’s too much on the calendar.
Blog Article: https://thenextmanup.com/are-your-kids-too-busy/
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Expanded Notes For This Episode:
-
Do they have the opportunity to be bored? Boredom allows for self initiative and creativity.
-
How often do you have family meals? It’s a great opportunity to pause and connect.
-
Do you need more calendars or calendar space to track everything? The calendar is a window into priorities
-
Can you really afford it? Borrowing money to finance activities is not a good idea.
-
Are you exhausted? Although part of the parent job description, being tired is party a choice.
-
The culture celebrates busyness, but it’s not really a good thing
-
Before hurrying back to normal coming out of this COVID season, take a moment
How many times do we avoid having the hard conversations? And how many relationship problems are created or go unresolved as a result? Helping your boy learn to have the hard conversations in life is a skill that will help him be the man you want him to be. Today’s episode covers some ways you can do just that.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
There are a few “C” words which incite fear and panic in our lives on a regular basis. Change is one of them. Change is hard for adults. It’s also hard for kids. In this episode, Mark & Josh dig into how you can help your boy walk through the change he will inevitably experience in a positive and encouraging way.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Ever been accused of not listening because you’re tuned into “the game?” Mark and Josh have some fun with this, and draw out some ways that you can use the watching-the-game example as a model of how to listen better to your son.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2, Darren goes deeper into the work of Fathering Adventures and why a dad’s relationship with his kids is so foundational. He talks about the importance of blending mind and heart. And we get into leaving a legacy and living with no regrets.
Website: https://fatheringadventures.com.au
Facebook: @fatheringadventures
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Today we start a two-part conversation with Darren Lewis from Queensland Australia. Darren is a father of 4 boys, husband, and director of Fathering Adventures. His mission is to help fathers develop thriving relationships with their kids. In this first part we get into Darren’s story and how he came to the work he’s doing today.
Website: https://fatheringadventures.com.au
Facebook: @fatheringadventures
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Where is your boy headed after H.S.? Are you helping him explore all the options, beyond just college? Today, Mark shares some of the pivots and shifts he had to make in guiding his boys through high school. Whether your boy is just starting school or about to graduate you’ll find some good nuggets in this episode.
Let us know what you think of this different format option, or any other feedback you have. Our email address is feedback@thenextmanup.com.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2 of our conversation with Jon Couser, Jon expands on how his family has grown through adoption and what that triggered in him as a dad. The theme of task parenting resurfaces again. Meanwhile Jon recounts his continuing evolution as a man, a dad, which required confronting his own past. This is another honest and open conversation that you will identify with.
Visit All Pro Dad
Connect with Jon: jonathan.couser@archimpacts.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
What do you do with a childhood shaped by divorce, poverty and absent and abusive fathers? Jon Couser joins the show to talk about his journey and how he became the father and man he is today. The first half of our conversation focuses primarily on his journey to move beyond a transactional view of being a man and dad and embracing a relational approach.
Visit All Pro Dad
Connect with Jon: jonathan.couser@archimpacts.com
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Yes, the initiation process is for your boy. But it’s also for you as well. Today, Mark takes a shot at flying solo and describes how he was surprised by the benefits for him as a dad after guiding both his boys through their rite of passage journey.
Let us know what you think of this different format option, and give us any other feedback you have. Our email address is feedback@thenextmanup.com.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Josh’s son is almost 2. Mark’s boys are leaving the nest. In today’s episode, Josh fires some questions at Mark about the fatherhood journey ahead of him (Josh) and what emerges are some fun stories, some lived experience, and some wisdom to help younger fathers on their journey.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Connecting well with your son requires an understanding of who he is and meeting him where he is. Using personality study can help you do that. This week, Josh joins Mark to talk about the importance of connection and a popular personalty assessment tool to help you do that.
The Ultimate Guide to Connecting With Your Son: https://thenextmanup.com/the-ultimate-guide-to-connecting-with-your-son/
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
This week, we finish Michael Head’s story and get into the ways he’s helping others restore their mental health, talk about his new podcast, and the importance of owning your story. Plus, Michael talks about some specific ways you can help yourself, and your boys, have greater mental health. Join us for the second half of this great conversation.
Website: www.michaelhead.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
What do trauma, compassion, brokenness, love, strength, authenticity and manhood all have in common? They are part of one man’s story to discover who he really is. This week Michael Head joins us to share his incredible story and how today he’s helping people grow in spiritual and mental health because of the growth he’s experienced in his own journey.
Website: www.michaelhead.org
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In this second half of our conversation with Rich Johnson, we get further into the process he’s leading his boys through on their journey to manhood, cover some historical ground on race and culture in this country and then Rich offers some practical steps on how you can grow in this area. All that and more is coming in this episode.
Instagram @richjohnsononline
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Our guest today is Rich Johnson. He’s a husband, father of 4, pastor, yoga instructor, and you will soon see why he’s someone who is easy to respect and admire. And he’s black man. Which makes him uniquely qualified to talk about race, both as a man, and also as a father guiding his kids through society today. Let Rich be your guide over the next two episodes as we navigate through this big topic of race and racism.
Instagram @richjohnsononline
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2, Adam and Mark get deeper into what boys and men really want in life and raising his boys into manhood. This episode is full of Ideas, tips, and challenges to dads to engage with their boys to intentionally raise them to become men. And, rediscover the outdoors in the process.
Book: The Boy’s Passage The Man’s Journey, by Brian Molitor
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Today’s conversation is with Adam Buzbee. Adam is a husband, father of 3 boys, and Director of Outdoor Education at The Heartland Conference & Retreat Center. In part 1 we talk about Adam’s love for the outdoors, what he longed for as a boy, and how he’s raising his boys differently as a result.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2 of our conversation with Twyla Stanifer, we get deeper into the work she is doing today around understanding how our beliefs — about God, ourselves, others — impact our actions and the results we get in life. We also get into helping boys understand how to identify what they’re feeling and their belief systems in order to become healthy men.
Additional Resources: See attached file
Email Twyla: twyla@dakotal3coaching.com
Facebook: @Dakota L3 Coaching
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Coach, pastor, and former counselor Twyla Stanifer joins the show today to talk about healthy manhood and identity. How to think about what healthy manhood is and how to engage women, at work and at home, from a place of health and security are just a few of the topics we get into in part 1 of this conversation.
Additional Resources: See attached file
Email Twyla: twyla@dakotal3coaching.com
Facebook: @Dakota L3 Coaching
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
After more than two years of traveling together, Alen is now going in a different direction. His voice and presence will be missed. And while this episode is a farewell, it’s also a look to the future because what he helped launch will continue as Mark & Josh journey on together.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Whether you’re an uncle or coach, teacher or neighbor, you can have a significant influence on the boys around you. However, your opportunity to make an impact doesn’t happen simply because you carry a title or some authority. Today we cover 3 big things to keep in mind as you work to make a difference in the lives of boys who aren’t your sons.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2 of our conversation with counselor and father Dale Thompson, we get even deeper in the topic of pornography and how it hijacks boy’s brains. Dale give some practical advice about how dads can help guide their sons through this, but it requires an approach that is not passive. If you’re ready to lean in, join us for the rest of this great conversation with an expert in the field that will help you as a man, husband, and father.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
This is an episode you don’t want to miss. Counselor and father Dale Thompson get’s candid about his experiences of helping men and boys develop a healthy understanding of sex. In part 1, we get into trauma, the big challenges men and boys are facing, shame and how sexual experience directly influence the wiring of our brains. This is a great conversation with an expert in the field that will help you as a man, husband, and father.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
A recent article about things to do with your son before he graduates spurred some good discussion among Mark, Josh & Alen, including their stories and perspectives on these suggestions. If you’re looking for some good ideas for your son, and want to hear some good stories, check out this latest episode.
Article: 7 Father son activities you must do before he graduates
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
How are you helping your son decipher what they are catching through the various media they, and we, consume? What does it take to engage our boys in a way that helps them grow in making their own decisions? Alen breaks down some practical thoughts that both challenge and encourage you to engage well.
Book reference: How To Read A Book, by Mortimer J. Adler & Charles Van Doren
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
In part 2 of our conversation with Mike Clouse, Mike goes deeper into how our understanding of who we are causes us to show up the way we do. Not only will this help you grow as a man, it also applies to how you as a father can become more confident and better at being the father your boys need and helping them become healthy men.
Book reference: Figure That Shift Out; Change Your Questions, Change Your Life
Connect with Mike at mike@coachclouse.com or on Facebook @LifePurposeImpact
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Mike Clouse joins the show today. Mike is a husband, father of 2 boys, and through his leadership coaching work helps people uncover the importance of understanding who they are, their identity, and how that impacts how they show up. You don’t want to miss part 1 as we talk about who Mike is and how he became the man he is today.
Connect with Mike at mike@coachclouse.com or on Facebook @LifePurposeImpact
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Time for some good, encouraging and uplifting stories that are happening in the midst of this pandemic and stay-at-home season. Here are some reminders that despite challenging times, there are opportunities for good, for compassion, for light to shine in the darkness.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
How are you dealing with the coronavirus disruption? Keeping tabs on how you’re doing will help you better lead your son, and family, during this challenging time. Join Mark, Alen, and Josh as they offer some practical ways to make this a period of growth for you and your sons.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Celebrating #100 with a new voice, a renewed vision, and new ways we are pursuing to expand the conversation and help fathers raise men. Celebrate with us and discover what’s going on here to help boys become healthy and godly men.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Part 2 of our conversation with Craig Fullen. In this episode we really get into what the Joyful Mindset is and how it is helping people become the best version of themselves. Join us for part 2 of this great conversation with Craig.
Follow Craig on Twitter @craigfullen
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Craig Fullen, champion of the Joyful Mindset, joins the show today to talk about who he is, what he does, and his passion to become the best version of himself and help others do the same. For him, it is best encompassed in the idea of a Joyful Mindset. Join us for part 1 of this great discussion with Craig.
Follow Craig on Twitter @craigfullen
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Sometimes a desire to lead at home can create a posture that is more dictatorial. But there’s a better way. Riffing off a Facebook post about “putting your foot down with your wife,” Mark & Alen take this on from a few different angles, all with the goal of helping husbands, fathers, to lead better at home.
Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)