Growing Up With Kids :: A Funny Parenting Podcast: Recent Episodes

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This Week's Episode:One-on-one dates with our younger kids can be a great time to be together and to teach them the mechanics of how to go on a date when they get to that stage of life. This week, Rachael breaks down a recent date she took with one of our kids, including what he learned, what she enjoyed, and how much farting there ended up being...

Since we are talking about teaching our kids to date, the Stat of the Week is about how people use dating apps and which apps are most popular.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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This Week's Episode:We are talking about toxic positivity again, but this time inside our marriages. We look at how passivity and "equanimity" (if we even use that word correctly) can make your spouse feel crazy.

This conversation covers wives inviting their husbands to communicate their feelings in order to fight the  isolation, loneliness and feelings of confusion wives often feel. We encourage husbands to start from a place of legitimizing wives' feelings even if they aren't packaged right.

On the lighter side, we also introduce horse and froggy and talk about how much baking soda is being used to fight smells in our house right now.

The Stat of the Week is about stay-at-home-dad trends since the 1970s.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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This Week's Episode:We are back! Again...

After a longer-than-expected layoff, we are back to talk about toxic positivity in our parenting--how we sometimes rush over our kids' feelings in an attempt to make them "feel better." If we are being honest, it is often about us wanting to feel better without really acknowledging our kids' hurt / pain / disappointment / fear and just sitting with them in it.

We also talk about how David remains an idiot in countless ways, and why he needs to trim his eyebrow(s).

The Stat of the Week is about how much less time married parents are spending together...alone.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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This Week's Episode:After a couple months off we are back to talk about how mom's can focus on being the mom they want to be, not the mom they think they are supposed to be.

Our discussion is inspired by "Yes Day," and the way that moms and dads can often see and think about parenting differently. We might have different eyes, and often mom's feel more pressure (internally and externally) to "do everything in parenting right."

It is important to be grounded in order to feel freedom to enjoy time with our kids. We all feel judged and guilty, no matter how disciplined or loose we are as parents. So, how do moms and dads work together to find more freedom, enjoyment, and connection with their kids?

The Stat of the Week is about the pandemic's impact on young adults living with their parents.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

This Week's Episode:We come back to the issue of parenting guilt every few months...I guess because it is front of mind (and heart) for us. Maybe you can relate.

This week we are unpacking why we shouldn't feel so much guilt about how our kids spend their time during the summer. We remind ourselves about a few things:

• The summer doesn't have to be perfect.
• We don't have to curate a world of perfect adventures.
• It is ok--no, it is good--for our kids to be bored.
• It is normal to want space from our kids sometimes. They don't need a 24-hour a day cruise director.
• We should stop emotionally beating ourselves up over all of this.

The Stat of the Week is about the "changes" in how teens spend their time during the summer. 

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Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

This Week's Episode:Full of practical tips for making the most (and easiest) of summer activities--be it the pool, beach, hiking or whatever. [Bonus: David gets angry about bad, one-dimensional parenting advice on social media.)

The Stat of the Week is also pool-inspired and covers some swimming statistics like how many 18-29 year old Americans own a hot tub or pool and what percentage of people pee in the pool (it's higher than it should be and probably lower than it actually is)!

We mention a lot of different items in this episode. Here are links to a few of our favorites:

• Speedo mesh bags
• Turkish beach towel
• Wet dry bag
• Sunscreens: Blue Lizard spray and lotion
• Small first aid kit
• Beach cup holder
• Yeti Coozie
• Yeti Hopper cooler
• Large Ziploc containers
• Mom bags
  • Scout beach bag
  • Scout Rocket Pocket bag
  • BOGG bag

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This Week's Episode:Have you ever felt like you just can't be enough...enough at work, enough at home, enough in your marriage, enough with your kids, enough in your friendships???

Of course you have...we all have.

This week we are lamenting a little, encouraging each other a lot, and hopefully providing some home and encouragement for you too!

The Stat of the Week is about the potential pandemic-induced Baby Bust and how many kids mothers are having these days versus the past).

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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This Week's Episode:We are reminding ourselves how to interact with our kids when they are being surly--no matter what age.

• Be emotionally engaged, but appropriately distanced.
• Don't expect our kids to be adults.
• Use humor (wisely).
• Listen with true curiosity.
• Communicate clearly.
• Catch your kids doing "good" things, and provide descriptive, specific praise.

The Stat of the Week is inspired by our sadness about Bill & Melinda Gates' divorce announcement and is all about divorce statistics.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode:
Maybe you and your spouse have never fought. But, we have. So, we are dissecting some of our recent ones--how they look, how each of us reacts, what we do to resolve them. And, we take a trip down memory lane to diagnose in which ways we have improved at fighting.

This episode will make you laugh at us, but hopefully it will also encourage you that your fights are normal. Not only that, fighting gives the opportunity for reconciliation and for use to teach our kids about unconditional love.

The Stat of the Week covers the fears of returning to normal that many people have as the pandemic (hopefully) winds down. But, don't fear; our brains will adapt back to post-pandemic life.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode:
We are talking about the benefits of old technologies (e.g., newspapers, answering machines and record players), as well as the positives of modern technology. This is not an episode just griping about "kids these days," but is a discussion related to how we mix the modern and the slightly less modern to find good balance and set our kids up well to succeed in relationships and life.

The Stat of the Week is an interesting study on why older people complain about how younger generations are lacking today.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode:This week we are sharing some of our losses, some sweet moments with our kids, and some thoughts on the challenges of certain ages--specifically age 4. Kids are growing in independence, but still so very needy. They can be stubborn (can't we all). And, they want to do things on their own and that can...Take. So. Much. Time.

The Stat of the Week is about the the ages when children are the most difficult. Is it age 4 or age 4 or age 8? [Spoiler: We think it is age 4.]

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode
It's Spring Break, so we are bringing back one of our most popular episodes. It was recorded pre-pandemic, so keep that in mind as you listen...
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Enjoying your spouse seems like an obvious thing to do, but it isn't always as easy as we'd think or like. This week we cover 6.5 ideas on how to increase your level of "likitude" with your spouse. Here's a quick preview:

1. Carve out time together.
2. Being seen & heard.
3. Be curious and genuinely interested in activities your spouse prefers (that you don't).
4. Have a "mutual" sense of humor.
5. Recognize & respect different needs for interaction & introversion.
6. Get out of your normal context.
7. Seek out friends who see (and remind you of) the good in your spouse.

The Stat of the Week is about leisure time activities and time spent caring for children from the American Time Survey conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode:We are planning on a more active summer and fall--God willing--so we are refreshing our family mission statement to make sure we stay aligned amidst the busyness.

This can be a fun and relatively easy way to provide our family with direction, see and name our kids' strengths, and celebrate both the communal (our family) and the individual (each child). A mission statement helps our kids feel like they are part of something, and it communicates that "this is what it means to be part of this family."

A few things to keep in mind:

• You don't have to be perfect (like the von Trapps).
• Keep it simple. Don't follow our example; we tend to overcomplicate things like this.
• Make it fun. (We added a campfire and S'mores.)
• Involve the kids.
  • Ask them to name the good and the bad--there are no bad answers.
  • Don't be offended when they do talk about the bad. What an awesome opportunity to hear them and love them.

Plus, a few funny stories about David's awkward interaction with a stick and how dogs mark their territory (unfortunately, in our rugs sometimes).

The Stat of the Week is about the pandemic's Baby Bust.

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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This Week's Episode:
The babysitters here!

After covering a few funny stories about babysitter quirks we experienced over the years, we discuss a few pointers on finding babysitters and setting your kids up for success: prioritizing dates when you have small kids, finding great babysitters through referrals, setting clear expectations, informing the sitter of any individual kids' quirks, and the power and joy of loosening boundaries.

The Stat of the Week covers the average cost of a babysitter (in 2021, 2020 and 2019).

Thank you so much for listening!
We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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Action Item: Put courage into someone you love and who trusts you. Go tell them they are doing a great job as a parent and/or spouse during a very difficult time.

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

This Week's Episode:
Nearly half of the people you walk by on any given day during the pandemic is wrestling with anxiety and/or depressive disorder. You may relate. At times, we certainly can. We have been feeling an increase in anxiety over the past few weeks.

There is light at the end of the pandemic tunnel, but there are still many challenges at work, in our homes, with our kids' school that have not yet returned to normal. This is creating increased levels of anxiety and guilt, which we unpack in this week's shorter-than-normal episode.

The Stat of the Week is about the pandemic's impact on anxiety among adolescents and adults. Rachael also rails on a movie we haven't even watched yet.

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Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

This Week's Episode:
"Forgiveness is not being weak—it takes strength and courage to forgive." - How To Teach Kids Forgiveness Skills

The benefits of practicing and giving forgiveness:

• "The forgiveness group showed improved psychological and behavioral adjustment. The forgiveness group showed improved academic performance. Participants in the forgiveness group reported significant decreases in anger, hostile attribution, aggression, and delinquency at post-test and follow-up; they also reported significant increases in empathy at post-test and follow-up and grades at post-test." - Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology
• Forgiveness As an Educational Goal With At-Risk Adolescents
• Forgiveness Education for Fourth Grade Students in Turkey

How do we teach forgiveness skills to our kids?

• Model it: We practice forgiving our spouses, our friends, and them.
• Ask for it: Teach how to ask for forgiveness.
• Have patience: Don’t rush your child to forgive.
• Seek justice: Forgiving someone is not the same as saying what happened was ok or didn’t matter or just forgetting abou it.
• Teach empathy: Seeing the other side and understanding another person. Recognizing everyone’s sense of worth and inherent value.
• Give freedom: Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. You can forgive, but also not want to be friends. There are natural consequences to hurting someone.
• Share examples: Call out examples of forgiveness in books and movies.
• Teach self-forgiveness: We need to help them avoid shame and blame and guilt.

The Stat of the Week covers the negative impact of the pandemic on people's sleep.

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Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to subscribe and rate/review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

This Week's Episode:
It has been an unusual (to say the least) year. It can help to take a step back and review with your spouse, partner or a friend where you are at, how your kids are doing, and what each of your kids need from you right now. It's like a performance review but with no judgement, tons of encouragement, and hopefully a little fun. (There might be "rewards"!!)

Why are we doing this? Three reasons to start:

• Slow Down & Remind Ourselves:We are busy. We feel overwhelmed. We can forget what we are really doing here.
• Go Team!:This is an opportunity to be seen by our partner and for us to see them, so we can connect and be on the same page.
• Encourage & Energize Ourselves:We remember the “losses” but not the “wins.” Leads to discouragement and despair. This is a chance to be reminded about what is going well and how we can courageously step into the challenges in front of us (and our kids).

This episode has some ideas on how to structure this time and how to make sure it is productive and life-giving.

The Stat of the Week is about one thing that can help kids deal with stress. You may already have one of these laying around your house (or running around it).

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Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

This Week's Episode:
We lose it a few times over a bucket of chicken and the few French words we know.

Also, we dive into how we are wrestling with the guilt of virtual school, working, keeping homes afloat, all the while living through a pandemic. It can be hard, so don't go it alone out there.

Do not be discouraged. You are up for the challenge. You do not need to feel guilty. You and your partner can walk through this together. And, we are glad to offer a little encouragement, wisdom, and humor for the walk.

The Stat of the Week is about differences in empathy between men and women. Check out the original source material: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.

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Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

This Week's Episode:
Often what our kids are feeling or conflict arising in our marriages are being driven by feelings, thoughts, and identities that we aren't even consciously aware of. This week we delve into how our underlying identities--as a good dad, an impressive cook, a good host, etc.--can rear their heads and cause conflict.

The good news it that this is an opportunity to pursue our spouses, partners, and kids. We can take a step back and separate ourselves from the moment to get some perspective. We can ask good, genuine questions. We can know our loved ones and help them achieve greater self-knowledge as well.

Join us on this exciting path towards intimacy, love, and mutual acceptance.

The Stat of the Week is a survey of college students and their parents related to when one becomes an adult, and what are the attributes that "prove" one is actually an adult.

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None of us would say we are shooting for perfection. However, the way we feel and act sometimes indicates we do actually expect ourselves to be perfect. We all feel pangs of guilt and shame, second guess ourselves, and beat our selves up for failures (small and large).

• Offer yourself grace--it is best for you, your spouse / partner, and for your children. When we mess up, we can offer ourselves forgiveness. And, if appropriate, we can ask our kids for forgiveness.
• We need to fight the urge to compare ourselves to other parents. (See episode #053 for a deeper dive on this topic.)
• Avoid people pleasing.
• Presence, not perfection.
• Intentionality, not perfection. Do the work on the front-end so we have the humility and wisdom on the back-end.
• Surround yourself with the right voices. Not people who shame us, but those who encourage us and make us better.

The Stat of the Week is from an academic analysis of the economy of Harry Potter's world. We talk about currency (i.e., gold Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Knuts), new business creation (or lack thereof), and government regulation.

Other topics covered include moist vs. damp cake, migraine medicine commercials, and parenting resources.

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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We are talking about the words and heart around how to make sure both wives and husbands are getting a chance to really enjoy their kids (because our kids need to feel enjoyed).

It's a common theme -- but not true in every marriage and family -- that mom's do more than their fair share of the chores and "work" of parenting and dads swoop in and get to be Mr. Sunshine. So, how do husbands set their wives up to be Mrs. Sunshine? How can she be put in position to enjoy fun and connection with the kids without guilt and without having to worry about what else isn't getting done?

• This is an ongoing marriage conversation that husbands should proactively pursue. Good questions for husbands to ask their wives: Is the way our house is running working for you? Are there specific things you need me to help with?
• Wives should be welcome and encouraged to communicate what they need. Follow Rachael's lead and say, "I want to be Mrs. Sunshine!" [19:15]
• A few practical ideas for making this happen:
  • Scheduling and planning dates for your wife and one kid at a time to take so they can connect one-on-one.
  • Freeing her up to just play games (or in our case video games) with the kids.
  • Taking care of certain chores so she doesn't have to worry about them and can focus on being engaged with the kids.

This week's Stat of the Week is about the indie classic, Little Miss Sunshine. And, David totally mishears Rachael when she says $1 million (not $100 million).

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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Parenting can be stressful, and we can all lose our temper. And, yelling can be hurtful for our kids. So, how do we manage our feelings and care for our children well (knowing we are going to mess up sometime).

This episode is an encouragement for each of us to love our children with gentleness as best we can AND to seek reconciliation when we fail (which we all do).

The Stat of the Week has too long a name (The Forgiving Family: Effects of a Parent-led Forgiveness Program on Mental and Relational Health), but it is a wonderful reminder that when we teach our kids important things we are actually the ones who learn and grow. For more science, here is the article on yelling (that is, "parental harsh verbal discipline") that inspired this episode.

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

Also, you can follow us on:

• Instagram: growingupwithkidspodcast
• Facebook: @growingupwithkidspodcast
• Twitter: @DavidGrowUp and @RachaelGrowUp

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As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. And, share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.
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Being curious is an important life skill. It can help our kids achieve more. It can make them happier. It is can be a gift they offer the people they care about in their lives.

A few practical ideas to help our kids be curious.

• Be humble.
• Model curiosity in life.
• Mode curiosity by asking our children lots of open-ended questions. For more on this listen to our episode #48: The Power of Curiosity.
• Follow their interests.
• Have your kids practice forming opinions and points of view.
• Ask them to teach us something because teaching helps them gain mastery.

The Stat of the Week is about the NASA Mars rover, Curiosity.

A few resources mentioned in the episode:

• Greater Good Magazine (UC Berkeley): Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity
• How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims
• Prepared: What Kids Need for a Fulfilled Life by Diane Tavenner
  • "A good teacher inspires, captivates, and gets kids to think by sharing profound knowledge and perfectly crafted questions..."
• Harvard Business Review: The Business Case for Curiosity
  • “Tenelle Porter, a postdoctoral scholar in psychology at the University of California, Davis, describes intellectual humility as the ability to acknowledge that what we know is sharply limited. As her research demonstrates, higher levels of intellectual humility are associated with a greater willingness to consider views other than our own. People with more intellectual humility also do better in school and at work. Why? When we accept that our own knowledge is finite, we are more apt to see that the world is always changing and that the future will diverge from the present. By embracing this insight, leaders and employees can begin to recognize the power of exploration.”
• Turnaround for Kids: Building Blocks for Learning: Curiosity, Self-direction & Purpose

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Use discretion when and where you listen to this episode. This is a frank discussion about sex and may not be appropriate to listen to with your children. We also use one swear word.

We are having the sex talk. Or more accurately, we are discussing the many body, sex, and relationship talks you get to have with your kids throughout their childhoods. Here are a few key points:

• Early and often: Even at an early age, your kids are curious about their bodies and where babies come from. These are opportunities to start having these (low stakes) conversations. Instead of one, big talk (too much pressure!), having lots of little conversations along the way will establish you as the trusted resource on sensitive topics about your kids' bodies, feelings, puberty, relationships, etc.
• Utilize resources: Don't do this alone. Use the resources out there to help with these conversations. Many books out there are perfect to read with your child, so you don't have to have the perfect words or all the information. Here are a few resources we've used, but there are many more out there that you may find helpful:
  • God Made All of Me
  • Unashamed
  • Honest Talk
  • 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality
  • True North Freedom Project
  • Will Puberty Last My Whole Life
• Key messages to reinforce: Al along, we want to make sure we are telling our kids important truths about themselves:
  • Their bodies are good and beautiful and just as they should be.
  • There are no dumb questions, and they can come to us with anything
  • Everything they are going through is normal.
  • Puberty, in particular, may seem hard, but they are up for it and it will not last forever.

The Stat of the Week is about trends in sexual activity among teenagers (15-19 years old) from the CDC. Also, we have a little too much fun celebrating the end of our arch nemesis, Caillou. Some of the best headlines:

• 'We did it!' Relieved parents react tot he cancellation of PBS' "Caillou"
• 'Caillou' Canceled by PBS & Parents Couldn't Be Happier
• Caillou is cancelled and parents are rejoicing: 'That bald headed little terror can no longer brainwash kids'

Thank you so much for listening! As always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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Happy New Year! While 2020 is over, many of us are still struggling with loneliness caused (or made worse) by a global pandemic. Even in the best of times, parenting can be isolating.

So, we are talking about the value and benefits of intentional pursuit of friendships with a handful of people you respect, care for, and want to more deeply engage with. We process the requirement to take initiative, the fear of rejection, the guilt we may feel (but don't need to feel), and how to start with just a few small steps. Plus some thoughts on how to model healthy friendships for our kids.

The Stat of the Week is about the impact of sleep on interpersonal connection and the importance of relationships of our long-term health and happiness.

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love it if you took a moment to rate and review the podcast in whichever app you choose to listen. And, as always if you have a friend who may be encouraged by this conversation, don't hesitate to share the podcast with them.

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December and especially school break can be stressful. Here are a few ideas to avoid the worst of it and come out on the other side alive and thriving!

• Get on the same team: Communicate early and often. Make sure to share the load! (That means if your spouse does the bulk of the Christmas work--presents, planning, food, etc.--lean in and pursue being helpful and being with her or him.
• Carve out time: Make sure you and your spouse block out time for the things you want to do--together, with each other, and all alone. (Don't feel guilty that you need some alone time. And, help your spouse get some too.)
• Have some goals: Do something productive. Or do something fun and productive.
• Don't shoot for perfect: This one is self-explanatory, but so hard to actually do. Offer yourself some grace!

A special thank you to our Australian listeners. In your honor, we have a Stat of the Week all about Christmas spending in Australia! Enjoy (no matter where you listen from.)

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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This episode is about how to get on the same team as parents.

But first, a warning: This episode includes a lot of male body part innuendo (inspired by the "Schweddy Balls" SNL Skit ("NPR's Delicious Dish"). So, take care and maybe don't listen to this episode with your kids in the car.

We look at how to handle three different points of disagreement that can show up in your marriage and your parenting.

• Foundational issues: How do you engage when you disagree on the "big rocks" on how you want to live your lives and raise your family?
• Mapping issues: What are some ways to work together towards agreement and teamwork when you both know and agree on what you want, but have disagreements on the best way to get there?
• In the moment: How do you discuss disagreements in how one of you is parenting or interacting with the kids at any moment?

Hint: The first step in all three of these situations is humility, humility, and more humility.

We finish up with a holiday candy-themed Stat of the Week. Can you guess all 10 of the most popular holiday candies?

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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The third and final week in a series about discipline. We discuss ideas for leading our "older kids" (from mid-elementary to middle school) through coaching, imploring, and responsibility.

1. Coaching: As our children age, we move from more of a focus on keeping rules towards having the discernment to figure out what is right. "We parents are in the adult-making business after all...” - Ron Lieber
2. Imploring: Earnestly showing our children what is right and good, and vulnerably engaging with their and our emotions along the way. Teaching them what we want for them and what we want and expect from them.
3. Responsibility: Offering the dignity of giving our kids responsibility for their growth and development.

During this series, we focus on the heart of discipline, but here are some practical resources for the "how to's" of disciplining your children lovingly:

• "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Hubbard
• "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" by Fitzpatrick and Thompson
• "1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3 step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting" by Phelan
• https://connectedfamilies.org
• "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Cline and Fay
• "Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids" by Hunter Clark-Fields

Plus, a Christmas Tree-related Stat of the Week. By the way, if this time of year gets you down sometimes, you may be encouraged by listening to two podcasts we recorded last year about how Christmas can make us sad from time-to-time:

• Christmas Makes Mommy Sad - Part 1 (#016)
• Christmas Makes Mommy Sad - Part 2 (#017)

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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This is our second week in a series about discipline. We take on the early years (say, under 8) and focus on three words that describe how to think about the challenge of leading and teaching our young children: trust, ordinary, and extraordinary.

1. Trust: In the early years, it is so important to build trust with our children. They need to hear the straight truth from us. They need to know we are the authority, that we love them, and they can trust we will direct them well (as well as we can).
2. Ordinary: Discipline is not an event, it is an ongoing, everyday, ordinary thing. This takes the pressure off to do it right because there is always a chance later today to encourage, implore, and teach your children. Also, remember that discipline involves correction, but it also includes the encouragement of the positives your kids are doing.
3. Extraordinary: In the ordinary, we can do the work of non-common actions that will make all the difference. These are:
   1. Wasted time.
   2. Gentle, positive physical touch.
   3. Clear directions and acknowledging their feelings. Long-term goal: developing an internal compass.
   4. Re-dress your child. Let them know they were made for more!

During this series, we focus on the heart of discipline, but here are some practical resources for the "how to's" of disciplining your children lovingly:

• "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Hubbard
• "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" by Fitzpatrick and Thompson
• "1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3 step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting" by Phelan
• https://connectedfamilies.org
• "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Cline and Fay
• "Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids" by Hunter Clark-Fields

The Stat of the Week is all Thanksgiving travel, dinner, and turkeys.

Sorry, we have some mic issues this week so the sound is a little softer than usual.

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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This week we are taking on discipline. A tough, and expansive, topic. We can't cover it all, so we take a look at four words that help frame how we can approach disciplining our children well: intentionality, heart-focused, restoration, and love. Come for the wisdom; stay for the Dumb and Dumber quotes.

1. Intentionality: Thinking ahead, not just responding to our kids' behavior in the moment. Also, a wonderful opportunity to process and plan together with your spouse (i.e., be on the same team together).
2. Heart-focused: Developing values in our children's hearts for the long-term, not just trying to modify their behavior in the moment.
3. Restoration: Ensuring our child knows that they are loved even when they have done something wrong or have experienced the consequences of discipline. They are safe, they are home, they are loved. (Important related note: Sometimes we have to seek restoration because we have wronged them. They benefit from seeing us own our mistakes, asking for forgiveness from them, and seeking restoration of the relationship.)
4. Love: Preparing them for the ups and down of life by gently and lovingly coaching, teaching, directing, and discipling our kids.

During this podcast episode, we focus on the heart of discipline, but here are some practical resources for the "how to's" of disciplining your children lovingly:

• "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Hubbard
• "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus" by Fitzpatrick and Thompson
• "1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3 step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting" by Phelan
• https://connectedfamilies.org
• "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Cline and Fay
• "Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids" by Hunter Clark-Fields

The Stat of the Week is a quick one about social media usage. "Live a big life, Buddy!"

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We all know that boundaries are good, but sometimes it is so hard to discern the right boundaries to have with our children. Today we reminder ourselves about the benefits of healthy boundaries, and how they can benefit our kids (today and when they are adults).

All of this comes back to how we can love our kids the best, even when it is hard in the moment.

The Stat of the Week is about physical boundaries (between countries).

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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It's been a stressful time, and we have been fighting slightly more than usual. So, it seems like a good time to talk about how our fights can be opportunities to model healthy and loving conflict with our children.

The Stat of the Week covers how frequently babies negatively impact "couple satisfaction" (temporarily).

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We want our children to understand the natural consequences of their actions on other people so they can grow up to be caring and independent adults. We want them to be generous towards others and be able to advocate for themselves. We want them to be able to make healthy boundaries and to see how they impact others (positively and negatively).

This week we are talking about how we can guide and train our kids to know that there are natural consequences to the ways they treat others  we offer some thoughts on how to do this well:

• Listening for opportunities to guide Interactions (especially in the younger years).
• Allowing kids to make their own choices, and explaining how that may be perceived so they can make the right choices for them.
• Verbalizing potential natural consequences so kids can learn to make their own value judgements on which way to go.
• Expressing how we feel in our relationships so navigating one’s feelings is modeled.

The Stat of the Week is a about long-term and long-distance relationships.

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Developing grit and perseverance as a child will help produce self-confident adults who can face challenges, overcome suffering and setbacks, and keep moving forward.

On this episode we talk about having a growth mindset for ourselves and our kids, being supportive AND having high expectations, being with our kids to teach them how to do hard things,

The Stat of the Week reviews various research studies about grit in students. And, we finish with a quote from Angela Duckworth's Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance [emphasis added].

"Regardless of gender, ethnicity, social class, or parents' marital status, teens with warm, respectful, and demanding parents earned higher grades in school, were more self-reliant, suffered from less anxiety and depression, and were less likely to engage in delinquent behavior."

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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"You are over the line!"

We all remember agitating our siblings when we were kids (and maybe even now that we are adults). And, all us parents see our kids needling and agitating their sister(s) and brother(s). Our natural inclination is to shut down whatever behavior is creating the strife (and annoying or embarrassing us). However, the best way forward is to help our kids explore what's going in their hearts both when they are being agitated and when they are the agitator.

In this episode we touch on:

• Power dynamics between siblings: Be aware of them and address them directly.
• Helping our kids to have grit and to understand that life isn't fair (without being dismissive of their feelings).
• 80's mom perms (for some reason).
• The difference between our kids being a peacemaker and being a peacekeeper. Proverbs 12:20: Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy.
• Seeking the good of those around us.
• Also, David butcher's the quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer, "When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind."

The Stat of the Week is about washing machines... Portable ones, dual wash ones and extremely expensive ones...

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Our family had a big birthday this weekend, and so we planned on telling you all how you could do a better job of celebrating your children.

Well...

We didn't do as good a job as we thought we would. That's ok. Sometimes our plans don't go as planned. So, we unpack what did work and what could have been better. Come along and join us in a discussion about how to celebrate your kids well and how to engage with your kids when they are disappointed with their celebration. There is opportunity to love our kids well even when things don't go perfectly.

The Stat of the Week includes a handful of fun birthday facts, including the location of the largest birthday cake ever!

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation.

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We are a little discouraged right now. So, we thought we would share with you in hopes of encouraging you (at least a little). If COVID continues to be hard for you and your family, please know that you are not alone.

It is hard to find space right now. It is hard to offer what your kids need in the midst of a pandemic and virtual schooling and less interaction with their friends than they are used to (and need). Be encouraged! You are not alone and this will not last forever...

The Stat of the Week is about young adults living at home during COVID. We have no space so why should older parents. ;)

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation.

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Sharing your true feelings--even the negative ones--is a gift to your spouse. True intimacy is built on both the positive and the negative things we think and feel.

This week we tackle how it is important to enter into our spouse's negative emotions in order to know them, to understand them, and to make them feel seen and heard. Otherwise, we negate their feelings, we isolate them and ourselves, and we don't get the intimacy we so deeply crave.

A few pointers to help you:

• Be in your partner's corner
• Evaluate and be aware of what you are feeling and why your partner's anger may threaten or scare you.
• Ask lots and lots of questions, and really listen to the answers.
• Have a reasonable conversation with lots of listening and receive the gift of anger from your spouse, which produces intimacy.

Stat of the Week about the two types of popularity and how they differ. (Side note: There is always a corresponding show tune.)

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh.

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There are many stages of parenthood that feel like they will never end, especially when our children are young. Two examples: sleep training and potty training.

This episode we talk about how to take a long view, to not be discouraged, and we remind each other that every child is different. Don't be dismayed if your child takes longer to sleep through the night than your friend's infant. (Did you know more than a fourth of babies are not sleeping 6 hours straight when they are 12 months old? It is common to struggle with sleep training). And, don't be surprised when your kids have very different timelines for these types of milestones: sleeping through the night, potty training, riding a bike without training wheels, etc.

The Stat of the Week comes from Harvard Medical School. We aren't familiar with it, but apparently it is a decent university.

We also talk about a few other random things:

• David's new favorite play that is also a movie, free on YouTube with poorly-timed commercials.
• Bad TJ Maxx commercials.
• And our recent episode about avoiding the comparison trap with other parents.

As always, thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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What is the truth about screen time? Who knows. There is no shortage of people telling you about the intense dangers of screen time. There is so much drama and stress for parents around this topic, starting when we are brand new parents.

It doesn't have to be this hard. Don't get bogged down in all the rules. You don't have to live up to someone else's standard nor do you need to impose your standard on any other parent.

Instead, focus on being thoughtful about your kids' screen time and intentional about when they do and don't have screen time. Too much screen time is not good, so use it as a tool to train your child to have self-control and wisdom around how much is appropriate and how much is too much. And, engage with what your child is watching in order to connect with them and develop other interpersonal skills (e.g., critical thinking, problem solving, conflict resolution, etc.).

As always, have empathy for the other parents in your life. Be patient and kind towards them (and towards yourself).

The Stat of the Week about how much time we spend on media (via Zenith Media).

A few other items that come up during the episode:

• The beauty of The Jetsons theme song.
• A great book about how to reduce your dependence on screens and smart devices: indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life by Nir Eyal
• Screen time can also be educational in the right doses. (Note: We haven't played the games listed in this article, so proceed with care and wisdom.)

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode. Please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Not sure about you, but we are constantly tempted to compare ourselves to others (and to each other, if we are being honest). And, it is no good for us.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is a driver of self righteousness or self loathing.

Instead of all of that, we want to pursue being comfortable with our full humanity: our strengths, our weaknesses, our limitations, our gifting. And, we want to teach our children to do the same.

Rachael also finds encouragement for us and our kids to live generously in The Message translation of Matthew 5. ("No more tit-for-tat stuff.")

The Stat of the Week is about maybe the most compared thing among parents of young children: screen time (from a study by the Pew Research Center).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode. Please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We were inspired by a TED Talk from Shawn Achor ("The Happy Secret to Better Work") about how happiness makes us more productive and we (even more than  our circumstances) have the power to enable and enlarge our happiness / joy. It is a short, fast-moving, and funny talk. Worth the 12.5 minutes.

On this episode we talk about why it is important to be with our children in their challenges, how we can help them discern suffering from mere inconveniences, and some practices to develop happiness in ourselves and in our children:

• Intentional gratitude
• Positive self thought (and true humility)
• Savoring positive experiences
• Small acts of kindness

We also talk about the research and writings of Sonja Lyubomirsky of University of California, Riverside.

The Stat of the Week is from an infographic on The Science Behind A Happy Relationship. Man, I hope we pass...

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode. Please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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The school year is upon us, but it is like none other. We are facing remote learning for at least two months where we live. So, we spend some time talking about how to make the most of this season of learning for (and with) our kids.

It may not be easy, but we can make the most of it by doing the following:

• Making a schedule with our kids each day and starting off strong with a family morning meeting.
• Communicating early and often with our kids' teachers (just as if they were in the classroom everyday). And, offering teachers encouragement, kindness, and generosity of spirit.
• Creating a "learning pod." (Or not, if it is more work than it is worth. You do you.)
• Taking a long-term view.
• Having grace for ourselves and our spouse and our kids.

A few resources we found useful from Duke University, Harvard's Imagining September report, Google classroom, and Family Education.

David also steals a joke from Homestar Runner's Strong Sad, except instead of board games it is about his love of the grocery store.

The Stat of the Week covers the changing trends in Back to School spending from Deloitte's 2020 Back-to-School Survey. A lot less clothing and a lot more furniture for home.

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You are the person your spouse and kids need. Today. Just as you are.

Be encouraged.

No matter how hard it feels, you have it in you to be the husband, wife, mother, father that your family needs today. You have the heart and the strength to love well and to draw your family together towards a common goal.

We want you to be you. To be a blessing to your family.

A few resources we reference during our conversation (and would recommend reading) are: The Liturgy of the Ordinary and The Quotidian Mysteries.

The Stat of the Week is all about Top Grossing Teen Movies (according to IMDB).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode. Please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Note: There are a couple of swear words and a short discussion about sexual intimacy in this episode. Please use discretion.

We are spending almost all our time in our home, but it is still (somehow) harder to connect as husband and wife. Life feels exhausting right now, and it can be difficult to take the time and energy to really connect with each other.

But, it is so very worth it. Pursuing each other, seeking to connect, and offering vulnerability to each other provides joy and purpose. And, to be honest, it improves our sex life as well.

(We also spend some time talking about helping our kids connect with their friends during social distancing. And, we admit that we need to be more vulnerable with our need for friendship and support from our friends.)

Hamilton is out on Disney+ now, so the Stat of the Week is about Washington, Hamilton, presidential pardons, and the Whiskey Rebellion.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoy this episode. Please take a moment to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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The tendency to tell our children things is strong. But, asking questions can be powerful. Seeking to know our kids--their deep feelings, their true thoughts, their motivations--is a rewarding journey that communicates how valuable they are to us. And, asking our kids thoughtful, honest questions helps our children learn more about themselves: their feelings, thoughts, values, preferences, driving values, etc.

Inspired by a book David's reading (Prepared: What Kids Need for a Fulfilled Life by Diane Tavenner) and an Albert Einstein quote ("I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious."), we encourage each other (and you) to be passionately curious about our children--not for our (the parent's) benefit, but to truly know them, love them for who they are, and to help them know themselves and the world around them better.

This week's episode covers a few guidelines for how and why to ask our kids good questions:

• Assume the best of your child. Be a coach, not an accuser.
• Get passionately curious about your kids.
• Remember that context matters.
• Build a family culture through common questions and code words.
• Engage your child with hope.

The 4th of July-inspired Stat of the Week is about the oldest Independence Day in modern history. Hint: it involves an alliance between Uri, Schwyz and Unterwalden (which, of course, we can't pronounce correctly). Also, for some unknown reason we end up talking about Supertramp's 1979 hit, Take the Long Way Home.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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The COVID quarantine / shelter-in-place / shutdown / social distancing (whatever we call it these days) is taking its toll on our kids and there is some real expert-level quarreling going on in our house. If you can relate, you are definitely not alone.

When fighting and strife crop up, we have to fight the inclination to shut it all down as quickly as possible. Our initial proclivity may be to minimize the conflict and end the screaming, bickering, and/or name calling. However, our children need to work through this conflict in order to grow. We have an opportunity, if we choose to take it, to coach our children to develop the skills of overcoming wrongs (especially minor ones) from others, having empathy for siblings, and finding win-win solutions in relational conflicts.

It's not easy, but it is worth it. Remember, mothers and fathers, that you have the power to positively impact your kids.

A few practical ideas:

• Teach our daughters and sons that they are strong enough to handle when things aren't fair and people (even those who love us, like our siblings) aren't always nice to us.
• Help them understanding what they really feel and what they really want when they are in the middle of conflict.
• Give them projects that require them to work together on the same team.
• Teach them how to take some space on their own when they can't get along with their sibling(s).
• Have one-on-one time with your kids to ensure they feel connected with you and feel belonging in your family.
• Do fun things altogether as a family. We recently did a "family sleepover."

During the Stat of the Week, David goes on a misguided rant about Tom Hanks' career even as we are in awe about how much money his movies have made (via Forbes).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, please share the podcast with a friend who might need some friends on the parenting journey or who could just use a good laugh.

Also, if you are struggling with your kids' expectations of you as their entertainment, check out a past episode on how we are working hard to not to be our kids' cruise director.

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It is officially Summer and we are in it. Even amidst COVID (or maybe especially amidst COVID) it is a bit hot and crazy this week. So, we decided to revisit an earlier episode we did about how to work with your kids when they are whining. Enjoy!

As always, thank you for listening to Growing Up With Kids. If you are encouraged, learn something helpful, and/or get a good laugh out of this podcast, please share with a friend who would benefit from this episode.

-- R&D

We all know what it is like to be around (or related to) kids who whine. During this week's episode we dive into the heart underneath whining and some practical ways to work with our kids to reduce it from their "repertoire."

We talk about:

• The root of whining.
• How whining is a normal part of childhood development, so we don't have to beat ourselves up when our kids do it.
• Common parental responses to whining--both good and bad ones.
• How we, unfortunately, model whining sometimes.
• How our kids whining makes us feel--in our home and in public.
• How we can build trust and develop healthy boundaries for our kids.

There is also an extended horse analogy you don't want to miss!

The Stat of the Week is inspired by our least favorite PBS character, but we focus more on the PBS Kids shows we really enjoy: Odd Squad, Dinosaur Train, Wild Kratts, and Sesame Street.

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Our 2010 minivan went caput last week. Up in a billow of smoke. Don't worry, there was no fire and no-one was hurt. But, it does mean we have to kick our car search into high gear. We still need the space, passenger capacity, and convenience that a minivan offers, so we unfortunately can't look to the "cooler" SUV options.

So, we spend some time lamenting the loss of our minivan, laughing about the many things we have hit with that car (mostly curbs and mailboxes), and we have a few thoughts on the pros and cons of several of the most popular used minivans on the market today. They all have something for someone. After a long day of test drives we have narrowed down our search, however, to just one...

If you want to compare popular minivans, check out this U.S. News comparison tool.

The Stat of the Week is a map of the most popular cars and trucks in the U.S. and a discussion about the most expensive car ever sold (spoiler: $48.4 million).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, please share the podcast with a friend who might need some friends on the parenting journey or who could just use a good laugh.

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Everyone deals with guilt and shame in their lives, but there may be a special mix of it reserved for mothers (and fathers, to a slightly lesser degree). It is hard to not feel shame when we are parenting because there are so many unknowns. We are gardeners, not carpenters, so we can't guarantee the results, which means we often obsess over the inputs we can control. Mix this internal pressure with the overwhelming amount of parenting "advice" and information out there and then top it with the comparison culture of social media.

This week we take a look at why we often feel this way, and we offer some encouragement for facing our faults and moving beyond shame towards positive conviction. We want to move away from the shame that leads to isolation, performance and hiding. We want to move towards intimacy and relationships that set us free. A few tips:

• Admit that we are not perfect and that is okay.
• Focus on what I want for my kids and move towards offering them that, while moving away from self-focused criticism and perfectionism.
• Remember we are not alone.
• Be kind to ourselves along the way.
• Look to proactively encourage other moms and dads.
• Also, don't be afraid to seek professional help from a counselor or coach if needed

The Stat of the Week is about mommy guilt based upon a survey conducted by baby care product company NUK. Also, we mention a funny video that is not suitable for work or safe for the whole family: If Google was a Guy

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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It has been a harder week than most given the recent events in Minneapolis. We are not qualified to talk about racial injustice or police policies, so we won't even try. However, this is a good time to explore why we should, and how we can, pursue diversity in our relationships and in our perspectives.

We are tempted to pursue like-minded relationships and to retreat into literature and news that bolsters our existing worldview. However, there is great value in engaging with people, media, and points of view that are different than ours. It develops empathy, compassion, and hope in us. And, we can model this openness and humility with our children. This is a journey we are growing in, and we invite you to come along as well.

We discuss a few organizations and resources you can utilize, if you want to learn more about racial injustice and the history of racism in the U.S. We encourage you to lean into these topics that may be uncomfortable or challenging for you and your family.

• One Race
• Be The Bridge and their recommended reading list for youth
• Dr. Amanda Kemp
• Children's books to support conversations on race
• Book suggestions for adults

Also, we spend some time (at the 28:22 mark) specifically on why Christians are called to embrace and even seek out diversity in their lives, to engage with and love other Christians even if they don't look, think or act like us, and to care for the poor and oppressed. (Spoiler: Scripture is clear that God cares very much for the poor and oppressed.) If that is not your cup of tea, feel free to skip to The Stat of the Week (37:18).

The Stat of the Week is from the Statistic Brain Research Institute and is all over the place with thoughts on seaweed growth, jewelry injuries (didn't know that was a thing), and human eye blinking. Also, we talk about our family pentathlon and the game of Water War.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation.

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Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing. No one warns you that vacations with children are anything but those two things (at least some of the time). There is extra gear. There are nap times to work around. It is not easy to share a hotel room with a two-year-old.

However, there are some simple ways to make the most of the next family vacation. One key word is "simple." We find that pacing ourselves helps make everything more enjoyable. Trying to do one fun thing a day is easy and more successful than cramming it all in. Plus, simple meals, simple pleasures, and simple surprises all make for tons of fun with young children.

Some of our best vacation memories are borne out of simple AirBNB locations with a single unique feature (such as a loft, built-in bunk beds, campfire pit, or a few acres of woods and a creek). Have better vacations that are more fun and less stress!! That's our summer 2020 resolution (even if we can't get out of the house much because of COVID).

The Stat of the Week is all about international vacation travelers and comes from the UN World Tourism Organization's 2019 International Tourism report.

Rachael also mentioned this very funny YouTube video by I Mom So Hard: I Swimsuit Season So Hard.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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School is over and summer is here. And COVID-19 lockdowns continue...

What are we going to do with no camps, limited places to go, and very very long days?!?!

Well, first, we are going to have to set our expectations correctly. We can’t come up with A+ crafts everyday. We can’t be cruise directors entertaining our kids all day long. We are going to need some space for ourselves in a season that doesn’t seem to allow for very much space for mom, dad or any of the kids.

A few things we are trying out:

• Taking it day-by-day.
• Connecting with our kids regularly and intentionally, but not feeling compelled to spend every waking hour doing what they want.
• Getting comfortable with more mess than usual.
• Creating a few sacred spaces that are off limits to the kids’ messes. In our house it’s our bedroom and the office. Everything else is fair game.
• Some structure and rhythms, but not too much. Giving them enough freedom to experiment and figure out how to overcome boredom.
• Preparing our hearts for less progress, less of a sense of accomplishment than usual. This is a pandemic after all, so it is a season where life is not going to progress the way we’d like. That’s ok. We are ok. You are ok. Keep grinding each day and offering your kids and spouse kindness, gentleness, and patience. (And make sure to offer yourself plenty of the same!)

A great resource we discuss that can help encourage us to guide our kids into more independence / responsibility that we found via Teacher Tom.

The Stat of the Week is about summer songs and ends up containing a little more Ed Sheeran than we expected. (Just remember the club is NOT the best place to find a lover...) We give him some crap on the call, but here are two Ed Sheeran songs we love: one and two.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We have been feeling pressure lately to "make the most" of quarantine and have all the right talks in the perfect way in the correct frequency. However, we aren't always right, we are never perfect, and only Rachael is always correct. ;)

Seriously though...we are talking about how much we want to change our selves (slowly, through intentionality, space for self-reflection, reading, prayer, conversation, and long walks) to be more and more like people we'd want our kids to emulate. This is the hard inner work of maturing and growing.

Come along with us and explore how we grow up (with kids), how we engage our feelings honestly, how we expose our true hearts to our children (in an age-appropriate manner), and how we model the struggle of all of this for them.

Also, we have some very very very serious conversations about MarioKart David's temper, and how we taught our kids a new, mildly inappropriate word this week. (Great modeling, guys!)

Rachael's cousin, Jen Elgersma, recently wrote a thoughtful blog post about this idea that our kids are always watching and learning from us. Check it out; it is a quick and encouraging read!

Enjoy this week's Stat of the Week about the most popular board games of all time. There are some great ones...and then there is Candy Land (which is only fun in our house because Rachael uses real candy!).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. We are so grateful for everyone who listens to us and would appreciate if you would share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We are working on the rhythms of our family life that have been displaced by the challenges of COVID living--home schooling, working from home, lack of structure, etc.

At first this season of shelter-in-place was novel and a bit of a relief: more time at home, fewer activities. However, now that we are seven weeks in it has proven to be difficult. Over the past week we have begun to mourn that this is hard and that life isn't necessarily going back to the way it was anytime soon.

Many families are in the middle of embracing the new normal (which isn't that normal) and finding ways to move forward in this unique time. We've realized many of our normal rhythms were disrupted, so we are trying to reinstate a little quality structure to ground our family and offer our family connection and hope.

Plus, this episode includes a laundry list of idiotic things about David: he can't pronounce "colloquialism," he doesn't know how to say "hello" when walking past someone, and he just realized something about Will Smith's kids' names. Oh, and Rachael sings two songs.

The Stat of the Week is about how long-winded, wordy, garrulous and turgid (thank you, Thesaurus!) some food bloggers can be. How many words can you fit into a cookie recipe before you actually get to the ingredient measurements and baking steps? Apparently, the answer is somewhere between 829 and 1,023 words (unless you are Betty Crocker -- she can do it only 50).

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, please take a minute to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Still in quarantine, and we are trying to make the most of it. We have all kinds of feelings about it.

We are tired. It feels like we have a lack of direction and purpose. However, we are trying to lead our kids with a sense of meaning.

Come along and laugh (and maybe cry a little) as we talk about the claustrophobia of face masks, the challenges and joys of working from home, how quickly David loses his temper when trying to work from home with the kids (hint: about 30-45 minutes), why we had to update the family contribution chart, the power of #2020encouragement and teaming up the boys against the dirty bathrooms.

We also have some pop culture discussion of Fyre Festival documentaries, Tom Llamas and Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots. And, a bonus "appearance" from one of our boys who educates us on robot voices and The Rock memes.

The Stat of the Week is an infographic about the richest people in the world.

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, please take a minute to share the podcast with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Living 24-7 in our home together during COVID-19 shelter-in-place is somehow (and surprisingly) exhausting. It can feel like everyday is just like the last and nothing new gets accomplished. Our own personal Ground Hog Day! Wake, school, work, lots of cooking, some laundry, fall asleep exhausted...and repeat.

We unpack the tension this "schedule" is creating in our marriage and how it is negatively impacting our sense of connection and our sex life (ouch, a little personal!). It can be discouraging, but we are leaning into how care for each other and how to help each other process the hurt and frustration we are each feeling.

If you can relate, if you are exhausted and stressed and feeling the pain of "social distancing," come and listen and be encouraged! Remember, you are doing a great job! Keep working hard, caring for your kids and loving your spouse sacrificially. And, take a minute to thank someone who is out there keeping the world running or keeping us safe in this difficult time.

We skip the Stat of the Week this episode, but we do reference the potential growth in divorce rates coming after quarantine ends. We also end with a bonus "thank you" session to all the people working hard right now.

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Shelter-in-place has us a little stressed--between work, parenting, distance learning and a full month now of near-isolation. So, we decided to revisit an earlier episode we did on the impact of stress on our family. Enjoy!

-- R&D

Stress at work leads to anxiety and distraction at home. This week we talk about how David's stress negatively impacts the whole family. Spoiler alert: He gets grumpy. He is not as present as he would like. He can be short with the kids (and maybe his wife sometimes too). Maybe you and your spouse can relate.

We also have some fun stories about plane fights, poop in the vacuum, and murder-boning (that's a phrase Rachael invented accidentally). Also, David totally butchers a quote from French philosopher, Michel de Montaigne: "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened."

The Stat of the Week is the most stressful minute of the day (from Inc.). We also discuss different theories on the most stressful day of the week: of course it's Monday; or maybe it's Tuesday; or actually it's Thursday...Who knows?!?

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Even when life is full of school, work, sports, clubs, and other scheduled activities we feel the demand to entertain our kids when they are in the house. It is so hard to make our kids sit in their own boredom, to challenge them to entertain themselves.

We call it being the Cruise Director.

And, COVID quarantine has only made these demands even harder. We wrestle--mostly giggle, really--through this on this week's episode. We also spend some time talking about the power of a glue gun in the right hands, how we are not the right people for at-home crafts, and how quarantine is exhausting (even though we aren't going anywhere).

The Stat of the Week is less of a stat and more of a analysis of prescription drug commercials. We have a few thoughts on the weird commonalities among the various ads: boats / beaches, seamless time with the grandkids, and cover songs (Naughty by Nature, really?!?).

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We are two weeks into COVID-19 quarantine! Most of the time we are doing just great, but teaching kids, working from home and being isolated from most other humans isn't easy. In fact, this concentrated family time makes apparent some cracks in our family and marriage relationships that are often overlooked in the normal busyness of life.

If you are having a similar experience, we have a few ideas for leaning into these challenges and growing more intimate with your spouse and kids. These are especially pertinent during "social distancing," they will work anytime.

• Setting apart time for the whole family to be together, to ask each other good questions, to listen unselfishly, and for each child to feel "seen."
• Making time to "date" your spouse even if you can't actually go out.
• Seeking to know how your spouse truly feels about how things are going
  • Don't be afraid of feelings you can't fix.
  • Don't be afraid of negative feelings that are "your fault."
  • Be with each other.
• Embracing complexity in relationship, letting go of control, and sitting in uncertainty.

The Stat of the Week seems a little high to us, but you be the judge: how many rolls of toilet paper does the average family use in a year?

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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It has been a week-and-a-half of "social distancing." We are getting a little punchy, and it shows on this week's episode. We take this time to parse the difference between herbs and spices, whether or not propulsion is a word (spoiler: it is), and what the perfect name is for a woman who owns a boat (it's probably Barbara Boatowner).

Listen in for some silliness, some ramblings, and a ton of laughs.

Our Stat of the Week is all about boat ownership (for reasons we aren't entirely sure of). Do you know the most popular activity to do on a boat? Do you know how many boats were purchased in 2018? Do you care? You will after you listen to this episode.

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and join in on the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

Or connect with us on our website: www.GrowingUpWithKidsPodcast.com

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We long for our family to be a cohesive unit that celebrates the individuals in it. We want a home culture that creates a sense of belonging for our children, promotes self-worth, and builds a devoted family.

During this episode we discuss how we can combat isolation and loneliness in our families through practices that bring us together and teach us to communicate, negotiate, and see each other. We cover the importance of starting all of this with shared values that are universally understood by the whole family. And, we talk about a few items we emphasize in our home:

• Siblings supporting each other
• Modeling and teaching our children to encourage each other
• Finding activities we enjoy to do together
• Balancing the different needs of kids with different personalities, likes/dislikes, and at different ages / stages

Two pieces of research we mention during today's podcast are from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services and the National Center for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National Library of Medicine (that's a mouthful!)

Rachael also has some thoughts on the toilet paper usage (or lack thereof) in our house, and she talks through a few tips for scheduling your family's time during "social distancing" caused by the coronavirus outbreak. Stay safe and healthy!!

Since we won't have the NCAA tournament this year, the Stat of the Week is all about it. Can you name the top scorers in tournament history? Do you know the only person to go to an Ivy League school and score more than 300 points in the NCAA tournament? (Also, David totally botches Jeremy Lin's name when talking about NBA players from the Ivy League.)

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Also, please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and engage in the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

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We have the power to change our family tree by identifying and working on the negative patterns and habits we "inherited." This episode we talk about some of our generational cycles that we are working on and how we talk with our kids about these challenges.

A few key actions items that we cover:

• Taking responsibility for the generational cycles that were given to us, but we now "own."
• Recognizing the specific patterns in our lives and families that have been hurtful to us and are hurting our children.
• Husbands and wives working together to gently identify brokenness and move towards healing and better parenting.
• Don't be afraid to pursue professional help via counseling; it can be a powerful way to unearth these issues, and receive guidance and wisdom.

A few resources related to the topic of working through generational brokenness and moving towards healing and wholeness.

• 8 Steps to Break a Cycle of Family Dysfunction (Boundless)
• 9 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult (Psychology Today)
• These 12 Bad Habits Are Really Easy to Inherit From Your Parents (Bustle)
• How to Break Bad Habits (Psychology Today)

Also, we talked about the One Minute Pause app.

This week's Stat of the Week is actually a St. Patrick's Day-themed quiz. Do you know the answer to the following?

• If captured by a human, a leprechaun will give what in exchange for their freedom?
• According to "Legends and Stories of Ireland," written in 1831 by Samuel Lover, leprechauns were original not green. What color were they dressed in?
• According to Katharine Brigg's "Encyclopedia of Fairies: Hobgoblins, Brownies, Bogies, and Other Supernatural Creatures," what is Leprechauns' job?
• What U.S. city has the nation's only leprechaun colony?

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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The coming together of a husband and wife is a challenging experience that requires compromise, courage, and humility. This week we talk about what true humility is, why it is so important, and then we discuss five specific ways you can further develop humility in yourself and your marriage:

1. Take responsibility for your side of the equation.
2. Look for your spouse's strengths. And, verbalize them.
3. Seek to understand your spouse's point of view. And, listen well.
4. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness.
5. Give your spouse permission to provide you with feedback.
   • Corollary: Be extremely gentle, kind, and encouraging when providing your spouse with feedback.

A few resources that we reference during the conversation include:

• Measuring Humility and Its Positive Effects by Don Emerson Davis, Jr. and Joshua N. Hook in Association for Psychological Science
• Religious Involvement, Humility, and Change in Self-Rated Health Over Time by Neal Krause in Journal of Psychology and Theology
• Do These Six Things to Be More Humble by Patty Onderko in Success Magazine
• Quote: "One good question is worth 100 good answers..." by Paul Shoemaker, author of Can't Not Do: The Compelling Social Drive that Changes Our World
• Quote: "True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less." (attributed to various authors)

The Stat of the Week is all about Leap Day (February 29th) and somehow includes Ja Rule (NSFW).

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Also, please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and engage in the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

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How do we handle cursing and crude language with our children? Each family is different, but the same principles can apply for leading and guiding our children through this sticky subject. In this episode we unpack the following concepts:

1. Set the bar for your family. (But, help your kids understand that different families may have different standards / expectations and that is ok.)
2. Provide clear lines for your kids.
3. Focus less on obedient behavior and more on the heart of being respectful, considerate, and polite towards other people.
4. Start young and keep communication open about what words are inappropriate and why (teaching your kids what their meaning is and why they are hurtful, inappropriate or problematic).
5. As your children get older, have conversations with them about the words their friends are using and the terms they hear in music and see in movies / TV.
6. Bonus suggestion: Never blast your kids' playlists throughout the house without examining the songs first!

The Stat of the Week looks at cursing and movies via Wikipedia. You can Google it if you really want to see the full list. In lieu of that link, here are some of our favorite family movies we have seen lately: Spiderman: Into the Spider-verse, Instant Family (includes some swearing), Ramona & Beezus, Klaus, Matilda, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Paddington.

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Also, please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and engage in the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

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Thank you for listening to Growing Up With Kids. If you are encouraged, learn something helpful, and/or get a good laugh out of this podcast, please share with a friend who would benefit from this episode.

We all know what it is like to be around (or related to) kids who whine. During this week's episode we dive into the heart underneath whining and some practical ways to work with our kids to reduce it from their "repertoire."

We talk about:

• The root of whining.
• How whining is a normal part of childhood development, so we don't have to beat ourselves up when our kids do it.
• Common parental responses to whining--both good and bad ones.
• How we, unfortunately, model whining sometimes.
• How our kids whining makes us feel--in our home and in public.
• How we can build trust and develop healthy boundaries for our kids.

There is also an extended horse analogy you don't want to miss!

The Stat of the Week is inspired by our least favorite PBS character, but we focus more on the PBS Kids shows we really enjoy: Odd Squad, Dinosaur Train, Wild Kratts, and Sesame Street.

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Also, please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and engage in the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

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Are our kids up for bigger stories and bigger challenges? We think so.

It is so easy to be tempted to keep our kids safe and secure and comfortable. However, real security comes from facing challenges in supportive environments and developing the necessary skills to deal with failure (and success) with strong advocates (that's you, parents).

Our kids are in our home for a short time (even when it feels like A. Very. Long Time.) We get these few years to help develop our children's character and skills. What an honor and an adventure to help our kids take age-appropriate risks and coach them out of their "little stories" into a much bigger story--loving, serving, and deeply knowing others.

In honor of David & Rachael streaming the entire series of Parks & Recreation, the Stat of the Week is all about the highest rated TV shows of all time (via Wikipedia). Spoiler: Parks & Rec is not one of them.

We truly appreciate you listening! Please take a minute to share this episode with a friend who might be encouraged by this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Also, please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and engage in the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

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Engaging with our kids' conflict isn't easy. Our hearts are fickle and we can be tempted to avoid conflict or to just try and fix it or even to dismiss it. However, our children's hearts are strengthened by working through conflict in healthy ways. We have an amazing privilege to enter into the conflict in our kids' lives. On this week's podcast we talk about helpful and healthy ways to engage:

1. Helping our children practice self control.
2. Modeling empathy with them.
3. Giving them opportunity to communicate their true feelings.
4. Brainstorming solutions.
5. Developing negotiation skills.
6. Reinforcing that life isn't fair (and that is ok).

At the end of the day, when we wade into the conflict in our kids' lives we make a meaningful impact by helping them develop seven vital life skills:

1. Humility
2. Self control
3. Listening
4. Communication
5. Empathy
6. Problem solving
7. Respect

The Stat of the Week comes from Statistics Denmark where the elderly are the happiest, but the youthful are most optimistic!

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and join in on the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

Or connect with us on our website: www.GrowingUpWithKidsPodcast.com

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This week we share a little tool we use for keeping our family organized. It's simple, stress free, and flexible. It's nothing flashy, but if you're looking for something easy to organize your week with key buckets for the family--meals, parents' to do's, and daily activities--in a short amount of time this might be a helpful resource for you. We also discuss how helpful it is to provide limits on what is expected to get done each day--an added bonus in the search for peace of mind.

Note: A copy of the weekly planning chart we use is available on our Growing Up With Kids Facebook Group (as is our contribution chart from episode #002).

Some key themes from our discussion:

• Weekly planning is a source of communication between wives and husbands. Don't do this alone!
• Weekly planning offers peace of mind, helps us find time to be together, and reduces our food spending.
• Don't be ruled by the chart. It doesn't have to be too rigid. Make it work for you, not the other way around.
• Limit how many things you can put in each box. When you are done with what is on the chart, then you have done enough. "Enough is enough."

The Stat of the Week is a follow up from last week's discussion on time spent doing childcare duties. Thanks to The Economist's Daily Chart we discuss how that has changed in various North American and European countries since 1965. Plus a bonus article about "The Psychology Behind Being Perpetually Late" from the Guardian.

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and join in on the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

Or connect with us on our website: www.GrowingUpWithKidsPodcast.com

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Enjoying your spouse seems like an obvious thing to do, but it isn't always as easy as we'd think or like. This week we cover 6.5 ideas on how to increase your level of "likitude" with your spouse. Here's a quick preview:

1. Carve out time together.
2. Being seen & heard.
3. Be curious and genuinely interested in activities your spouse prefers (that you don't).
4. Have a "mutual" sense of humor.
5. Recognize & respect different needs for interaction & introversion.
6. Get out of your normal context.
7. Seek out friends who see (and remind you of) the good in your spouse.

The Stat of the Week is about leisure time activities and time spent caring for children from the American Time Survey conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

Please join our Growing Up with Kids Facebook group and join in on the encouraging conversation about the heart of marriage and parenting.

Or connect with us on our website: www.GrowingUpWithKidsPodcast.com

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Sometimes it is too easy to look for (and find) the negative. This week we are working on being more positive in our parenting. One way is avoiding the temptation to give a knee-jerk "no" to our kids' questions and requests; instead looking for ways to say "yes." Another is to go out of our way to notice when our kids do the right thing.

Join us as we discuss our previous weeks in our new segment, "Word of the Week." One of us is "exhausted" and one of us is "bored." Well, those sound pretty negative, but we have a few laughs about it!

David and Rachael both reference something they learned in "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk," but forget to mention the book's actual name. And, Rachael coins the term, "Sportscaster Parenting." Listen to find out what in the world that means!

The Stat of the Week is a little gross, so proceed with caution as we explore the Rat Kings in Estonia.

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on:

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A new year is upon us. The holidays are over and it is back to "real life." For some that's a drag, and for others the prospect of school, work and steady schedules is sweet relief!

Either way, the new year is a great time to reinvigorate the mission of marriage and of parenthood. Taking a cue from the movie Argo, we spend some time on how the mission of our families--marriage and parenting--is heroic work even if it is just in relationship to six, four, two or even one other person. We have the opportunity to have a deep, positive impact on the ones we love the most.

What an exciting mission!

While we are NOT good resolution people, we do talk about one simple new habit each of us is trying to tackle in the new year. And, Rachael relays a story about how important it is to follow directions during our newest segment, "Who have you set on fire lately?"

This Week's Stat of the Week highlights the general futility of New Year's Resolutions. We talk about the percentage of New Year's resolutions that actually get accomplished (from a December 2018 New York Post article). Additionally, we track another mildly dubious statistic from Forbes (Dec 2018) via Business Insider (Jan 2017) via U.S. News & World Report (Dec 2015).

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on:

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This week David caught himself telling one of our kids to "be careful" for no real good reason. Our drive to protect our children is a good desire. However, we can seek to keep them safe because it makes "us" feel better.

What's the right balance? This looks different for each family, each kid, and at different age stages. We unpack the balancing act in our family for trusting our kids and giving them more freedom and responsibility while still keeping them age-appropriately safe.

Also, Rachael has a ball laughing with (and at) David about his childhood imaginary friend!

The Stat of the Week is all about FBI crime data (via Wikipedia). We cover property crimes including burglary, larceny (which we learn is different than burglary), and car theft.

We truly appreciate you listening! If you are encouraged by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on:

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On this week's episode we talk about the idea of "idea superinfections," and how we--as well as our spouses and our children--can be susceptible to repetitive lies and accusations in our heads and hearts. It is so easy to take small flaws and start convincing ourselves that they make us horribly bad people.

The good news, however, is that WE CAN BE the antidote to this on behalf of our families. We can take a little time, offer a little effort, and speak truth into the hearts of those we love the most.

Come along and explore how you can encourage your spouse and your kids! (Also hear all about how bad a gift giver David is. And, how he is always late. And, how he tries to make up for all of it by doing a lot of laundry and dishes.)

The Stat of the Week dives into candy cane past and candy cane present. (No candy cane future, however.)

As always, if you are encouraged and/or entertained by this episode, be sure to share it with a friend who might benefit from this conversation or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on:

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Being a parent can feel tricky, complex and overwhelming. However, being a good parent can be a lot simpler than we think.

According to the longest study of human development many of the best indicators of how children will turn out are actually quite straight-forward, such as being emotionally warm towards them, reading to them daily, taking excursions with them, and talking with and listening to our kids.

This week we tackle how we work at being present with our children, talking to them sincerely and listening to them intentionally.

The Stat of the Week comes from the same research source, The British Cohort Study. You can also check out the TED talk from Helen Pearson.

Be sure to share this with a friend who needs some encouragement, who might benefit from this conversation on talking with and listening to our kids, or who just needs a good laugh at our expense. You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or connect with us on our website: www.growingupwithkidspodcast.com

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It's our first interview episode, and we talk with Allison Dudley of The Wise Guys Adventure about a fun family Christmas tradition. It's simple, easy, engaging, and a ton of fun for the kids!

Also our first giveaway episode: You can win a free set of The Wise Guys by sharing the Growing Up With Kids podcast on Instagram, Facebook and/or Twitter with the hashtag #GrowingUpHolidays.  Every share including the hashtag will count as an entry for the drawing.

For more information about The Wise Guys visit thewiseguysadventure.com or follow Allison @TheWiseGuysAdventure on Facebook and Instagram.

Plus, stick around to the end of the episode when Rachael "hijacks" The Stat of the Week with a Christmas conundrum.

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We've had a couple of days to think about the beginning of this conversation and have more to say about the difficulties and sadness around Christmas.

During the previous episode, David spent a little too much time trying to "fix" the problem. However, sometimes it is just okay to be sad, to sit in our unfulfilled longing, to look forward to heaven. Christmas is a spiritual time and we talk about how our faith informs how we experience Christmas even when  (or especially when) it does not fulfill our expectations or offer us the peace our hearts really long for.

Whether you are religious or not this honest conversation will hopefully be a source of encouragement and hope for this holiday season.

In a change of pace, this week's Stat of the Week is direct from David's day. How many mishaps can happen in one 8-hour period?

We'd love to hear from you! Rate us in iTunes and share this episode with a friend who needs some encouragement, who might benefit from this conversation on the difficulties of the holiday season or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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We were planning on talking about our kids, but instead we accidentally got real honest about how sad Christmas sometimes makes Rachael. Maybe you can relate.

There is so much pressure. Too many expectations. It's extremely busy. And, Christmas doesn't always live up to all the hype.

Come along with us as we process what about Christmas can bring us down. Specifically, how much burden moms often carry on behalf of the whole family. We hope you will be encouraged by hearing our struggles.

The Stat of the Week comes from the Bureau of Transportation Statistics. David also references changes in the Christmas tree market from home-owning Millennials.

We'd love to hear from you! Rate us in iTunes and share this episode with a friend who needs some encouragement, who might benefit from this conversation on the difficulties of the holiday season or who just needs a good laugh at our expense.

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Our kids have BIG emotions. Sometimes they come out in very big ways, and others they don't come at all. How do we engage with our kids with their feelings when they feel uncomfortably big? How do we draw out our kids who don't express their feelings freely? And, how do we keep our identities separate from their's so we don't become overly enmeshed?

This week we talk all about these challenges. Plus, Rachael teaches us how to use the yes/no "game" to uncover what's really going on in our kids' hearts.

It's the week of Thanksgiving, so the Stat of the Week is all about the Macy's Day Parade (via WalletHub).

Be sure to share this with a friend who needs some encouragement, who might benefit from this conversation on our kids' emotions or who just needs a good laugh at our expense. You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or connect with us on our website: www.growingupwithkidspodcast.com

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The holidays mean family travel. Whether it is driving or flying, there are a myriad of challenges for parents: confined spaces, boredom, fighting, exhaustion...

Want to know about our best and worst travel experiences? Unfortunately for us, there is more vomit involved than you might expect.

We also provide some ideas for surviving the long trips with lots of breaks, reasonable screen time rules, books and different games. Don't miss Rachael's "review" of a portable female urination device (in pink). And, check out some of these other ideas to eat up time while traveling:

• Travel Topics
• Fun Riddles for Kids
• Zip It
• Spot It
• Uno Flip
• Rubberneckers

The Stat of the Week is a Thanksgiving travel forecast and comes from the AAA Newsroom.

Be sure to share this with a friend who might need a few travel tips or a good laugh at our expense. You can join the Growing Up with Kids community on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, or connect with us on our website.

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Teaching our kids to be grateful is hard. Let's be honest, being grateful as an adult is hard on its own.

This week we discuss how we practice gratitude on our own and how we try to model that for our kids. This episode includes tips on specific ways to prepare your kids to genuinely feel and outwardly express gratitude during the upcoming holiday season.

Our Stat of the Week comes from the National Turkey Federation. Gobble Gobble!

Join the Growing Up with Kids community on Facebook or Twitter, or connect with us on our website.

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Having a sibling is hard. Teaching your kids to work well with their sibling(s) may be even harder.

This week we discuss how we coach, coax and even insist on each of our kids working with—not against—their brothers. Through empathy, humility and with guidance kids can move past rivalry and towards encouraging and cheering for their siblings.

The Stat of the Week comes from a Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study by William Ickes and Marilyn Turner, and answers the question are older or younger siblings better at flirting? Read about this study, and other interesting sibling-related findings, on Business Insider.

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Perspective and context often allow us to be more compassionate with people. The more we know of their story, the more we can see the good in them and the more we can understand the challenges they have overcome and continue to face.

We spend some time talking about how we would like to be more generous in offering compassion to each other, to our kids, to our friends and neighbors, and to strangers. And, we discuss how compassion towards others starts with self-compassion: being more gentle with our selves and being less of a self-critic.

Then we take a Halloween detour and debate the best way to both avoid Halloween candy surviving till next Summer and teach our kids how to be generous with something that is extremely important to them (i.e., candy!).

The Stat of the Week comes from the National Retail Federation (NRF) blog (Halloween shopping trends: Then and now), and we find out about:

• Which age group is most likely to celebrate Halloween
• How much money is expected to be spent on the holiday this year
• What are the most popular pet costumes

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For the first time, we tackle a listener question (submitted via our brand new website): How do we handle disciplining our children in public?

We delve into the challenges with feeling embarrassed and the temptation to get angry when our kids misbehave in front of other people--be it strangers, friends, or family. A few suggestions we cover:

• Seek the heart of your child (don't focus on behavior modification)
• Find privacy to address the situation
• Take the time necessary
• Do seek reconciliation: work with your child to seek forgiveness if they have hurt/wronged someone
• Address public patterns in private

Rachael also recounts her very frustrating experience at the bank this week. It shouldn't be so hard to deposit a check, right?

The Stat of the Week comes from a July post by CB Insights: "1M Users & Growing: 20+ Fintech Startups.”

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Of course your kids have never whined before. But, just in case it does ever happen we discuss a few ways that might help teach them to stop without giving in or getting angry. A look at how patiently preparing them to be adults can be a less confrontational way to nip whining in the bud. Because someday they will have a boss, and she will not let them whine on the job!

Then, we transition (at the 18:45 mark) to the challenges of kids' devices at  sleepovers. Our interest in this topic was piqued by a recent experience and a great Wall Street Journal Tech News Briefing podcast.

Inspired by the idea of kids, whining, and bosses, The Stat of the Week is all about the unemployment rate and the economy. Thanks to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) for some "fun" facts.

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Coming off of a busy week, Rachael explores the pressure she feels to entertain our kids. All. The. Time. The anecdote? Yard work, of course.

We also process through how hard it is to balance kids' activities, parents' activities, and family time. Making choices isn't easy. Telling our kids "no" stinks. However, finding the right pace to each season is life giving.

Focusing on a good rhythm whether life's pace is fast and furious or not can provide respites for us and our whole family.

This week's Stat of the Week is all about Iron Man world record holders: Jan Frodeno and Chrissie Wellington.

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Stress at work leads to anxiety and distraction at home. This week we talk about how David's stress negatively impacts the whole family.

Spoiler alert: He gets grumpy. He is not as present as he would like. He can be short with the kids (and maybe his wife sometimes too). Maybe you and your spouse can relate.

Also included: fun stories about plane fights, poop in the vacuum, and Rachael creating a whole new term. Also, David totally butchers a quote from French philosopher, Michel de Montaigne: "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened."

The stat of the week is the most stressful minute of the day (from Inc.). We also discuss different theories on the most stressful day of the week: of course it's Monday; or maybe it's Tuesday; or actually it's Thursday...Who knows?!?

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We are a month-and-a-half into the school year and wanted to give an update on how it is going. Big changes have come with the beginning of middle school and with one child repeating a grade. It's going well, but we reflect on some of the things we've learned.

The Stat of the Week is educational-themed and comes from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES).

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Parenting is hard at every stage, but the isolation one feels with small children is unique in its difficulty.

In this week's episode we revisit the feelings of loneliness we had when our children were young. We discuss the incredible importance of husbands being with and seeking to understand their wives in the months (and years) right after having a child. We cover the pressures of modern parenting and the importance of community. Also, this episode includes a few ideas for overcoming loneliness, which are applicable no matter the age of your children.

Be encouraged and have hope: You can do it! And, it does get easier and less lonely!

The Stat of the Week is from a NY Times article on "The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting" by Claire Cain Miller (@clairecm).

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A recent fight illuminated how we often are motivated differently when talking about the same thing.

In this episode we dissect what motivations, fears and hopes were behind a fight we had earlier in the summer. A deep dive on what we were thinking and feeling in the moment helps us figure out how we can fight less or at least better.

Bonus: David admits to being wrong about something (for maybe the second time in our marriage).

The Stat of the Week comes from CBSsports.com. We discuss Mike Tyson, and David mistakenly refers to his business as "Tyson Farms" instead of the correct "Tyson Ranch."

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Our oldest just started middle school, so we scheduled a special "event" to celebrate him.

In this episode we talk about the why behind rituals: creating moments that mark significant developments in our children's lives. Hear all about the middle school ritual we created for our son: the structure, the participants, the atmosphere and the bottled soda.

Be encouraged that a ritual in your family can be a significant marker in your child's life without it being an overwhelming project to complete: rituals can be simple and still meaningful.

Our Stat of the Week comes from the Mi Padrino 2019 Quinceañera Report.

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How does anything get done around the house? Well, the contribution chart is the way we engage our kids in the process.

Doing chores is a straightforward idea with relatively easy rules, but why does it feel so difficult to make work? In this episode we discuss the chores our kids do and the basics of our contribution chart that tracks it all. We provide insight into how we make the chore process manageable (lots of grace), some things we have tried (and failed at) before, and a few other things we've learned along the way (e.g., patience).

Check out our Facebook page for a copy of the simple contribution chart we utilize: https://www.facebook.com/growingupwithkidspodcast

Our Stat of the Week comes from The Kids Allowance Report USA '19 by Rooster Money.

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We made it through another summer...

In our very first episode we revel in the joys of the first day of school. Hear about back-to-school pictures, school outfits, and recurring first-day-of-school dreams. Our three boys start middle school, 4th grade and kindergarten and we cover all of our feelings about it.

We also dive into the challenges around one of our children repeating a grade. How he is dealing with it. How we are dealing with it. And, how we tried to make it as smooth as possible.

Our Stat of the Week comes from the Deloitte 2019 Back-to-School Survey.